#but here i am coming back to one piece from all of those masterpieces to my comfort zone of safety hope and inspiration

[the20thcenturykid]

one piece? more like mid piece

If this is mid think about how high we can still go! Such opportunity! Sky isn't the limit anymore!

[saintslewis]

𝐊𝐈𝐒𝐒𝐈𝐍 𝐎𝐍 𝐌𝐘 𝐓𝐀𝐓𝐓𝐎𝐎𝐒 | 𝐋𝐇𝟒𝟒

pairing: tattoo artist!lewis hamilton x black fem!reader

summary: in which reader needs a good tattoo artist to help her vision come to life and lewis, a mutual friend, is recommended and is more than happy to help you out.

warnings: cussing, outfit descriptions, mentions of tattoo needles, mentions of w33d, smut (18+ mdni), pet names, just read 🫵🏽 (buckle in, frens) sorry for typos!

saint’s team radio 🎀: heyyyy! this spawned in my mind in the middle of the night and my super talented fren @mauvecherie-writes came up with this masterpiece. hope you all enjoy 🤭. (anon i hope this does your request justice!)

tags: @mauvecherie-writes @queenshikongo3 @httpsserene @hopefulromantic1 @exotic-iris13 @perfecttrashface @non-stop-imagines @peyiswriting @purplelewlew @alika-4466 @arshiyuh @yeea-nah @louvrepool @motheroffae @lorarri

pls like, reblog and comment! 🫶🏽

pls note, the lady in the header does not represent the reader! 🫶🏽

“You’ve been sitting there thinking so hard, I could see steam comin’ out your head.” Marie laughed as she walked close to you with two mimosas in her hand, handing one to you. The get-together she occasionally hosts with all of your mutual friends was in full swing, everyone in different corners of the huge house.

Giving her an eye roll, you sipped on the drink before answering. “Girl, fuck you.” You cussed, hearing her laugh. Following close behind her was another one of your friends, Lani. Her kitten heels clacked against the tiled floor as she sat next to you on the light blue couch.

“What’s going on, what’s the tea?” She sipped on her drink and held onto it and she looked at you. “Well my lovely friends, I’ve been thinking about getting a back tattoo for a good minute now.” You replied, leaning back into your seat as your friends gasped with excitement.

Marie held your manicured hand in excitement, “Girl oh my god, it’s going to look so good on you!”. Lani then put her drink down then sat up to look at you properly. “What you gonna get? How big?” She asked.

“A red dragon maybe. Covering the whole thing, It’s been on my mind.” You answered, looking between your excited friends. “Anddd you’re wearing a backless dress right now! Y/n, you better get this damn tattoo.” Marie said, still very much holding onto your hand.

“Anddd it’s going to look great during backshots.” Lani smiled and that earned her a smack on her arm from you.

“Stop thinkin nasty. I just want it because I think it’ll look good with all those backless clothes I got.” You admitted although the thought of it made your skin a little warm. “So what’s stopping you from getting it, bae? ‘Cause I’m excited like I’m getting it.” Marie gushed. “Can’t find a good artist around here who caters red ink for black people.” You shrugged.

It was tough trying to find tattoo artists in your city, much less those who work well with red ink. Most were extremely pricey, others worked with complicated pieces and only wanted pieces like portraits or lions or they just left you on read after attempting to make an appointment.

A moment passed by and Lani smacked your leg repeatedly as she came to a realisation. The look of unspoken excitement travelled between your friends and soon enough, you knew they were plotting something.

“Y/n, oh my goodness you genius!” Marie exclaimed and that made your eyebrows furrow even more with confusion.

“Okay, I am very confused by what is happening so I’m just going to grab another snack.” You voiced out and you couldn’t even move because both women held you down as they smiled like maniacs.

Lani nodded first then turned her head to look at you. “Okay okay. Y/n, we’ve got the perfect artist for you. D’you remember Lewis?” She grinned and you tried to think about it fully.

Lewis, Lewis…oh god, that Lewis. The incredibly beautiful man you met through your clearly unhinged friends at a housewarming party two years ago. He was that type of distant crush that would never go away even if you tried and it didn’t help that he was the quiet type who would hang out with your large friend group every now and then.

“…uh huh. What about him?” You replied, hoping that no one heard your voice almost falter at the mention of him. “He’s a tattoo artist! I don’t know how I forgot but that man just keeps to himself for real.” Lani chuckled before continuing. “But yeah anyways, he could do it for you!”

Never in a million years would you think that he would be a tattoo artist and funnily enough, his arm is filled with them. You actually had no clue what he did, always curious whenever you saw the G Wagon that he would hop into after any get-together was over.

“I don’t know, you guys. I’d have to talk to him first about everything and that seems like a lot. I don’t wanna bother the guy to squeeze in someone who has no clue what they’re doing-” You stopped your ramble once you realised that your friends were just staring at you.

“Girl, you never ramble like that unless you find a dude cute.” Marie teased as she watched you avoid eye contact with her. Smacking your lips, you shook your head and tried to appear like this news didn’t phase you.

So focused on the subject at hand, you didn’t notice that Lani was gone. Finally hearing the familiar clack of her heels, you looked up and your breath hitched. You had just denied even thinking about him but there stood Lewis, quietly chewing on his gum with a glint in his eyes as he looked at you.

With your hand still in Marie’s hold, she squeezed it as she stood up and moved to stand next to Lani. “Lewis, you remember Y/n, right? An absolute beaut.” Lani started. “Anywho, my good sis wants a tattoo and obviously, you came to my mind. Aight, see y’all later.” She continued and just like that, her and Marie disappeared.

“I’m sorry for them, they can get a lil crazy.” You spoke, offering your hand to him and he gently shook your hand with both of his large ones. “They’ve also had some green gummies so I get it.” He smiled and that alone, just sent you to another dimension.

He’s British. You made sure to make little notes along the way.

And he dressed incredibly well. Sleeveless white shirt, white cargos, air force ones and his huge tattooed arms on display. The jewellery making the outfit look all the more good.

It also didn’t help that your dress was the same shade of white as his entire outfit.

“Although we’ve briefly met before, I’m Lewis. Nice seeing you again.” He introduced himself, not breaking any eye contact with you and he could tell you weren’t expecting to see him. “Y/n. I’m sure those two already told you why they dragged you here,” You nervously smiled. “Didn’t wanna waste your time with my questions.”

“You’re good, love. Wanna sit down and talk about it?” Lewis asked, pointing to the couch you were just sitting on. This area of the house wasn’t crowded so you could hear each other clearly.

The nickname he called you by threw you into a loop, nodding at him as a response because you couldn’t come up with one on the spot.

The two of you went on to speak on everything revolving around the tattoo. Your experiences trying to find a good enough artist that you wanted to feel comfortable with, the placement of it and the design. There were all types of jokes thrown into the conversation, making you feel comfortable. He also listened, nodding and replying after you spoke.

“So I’ve got two options if I decide to chicken out of the dragon one.” You said, twiddling your fingers as you still avoided eye contact with Lewis. “Alright even though my favourite would have to be the dragon.” He winked, chewing his gum.

You flushed hearing him say that. You couldn’t imagine being naked in front of him, letting your body be a canvas he gets to work on. Of course you would like to be naked in another way but that couldn’t happen. He definitely has to have someone in his life. Would he though if he just winked at you? Or was he just playing with you because he can sense you’re shy-

“Y/n, love, you still with me?” Lewis worried a tad bit as he watched you zone out on him. Shaking yourself out of it, you were grounded by his eyes boring into yours. Clearing your throat slightly, you asked a different question. “Uh if I do go ahead with it, where will we be?”

“Right now, my studio is under renovations so I’ve got my home studio. Hope that’s okay with you, anything to help you be comfortable.” He reassured, sitting back and the sight of him just sitting so confidently had you squirming in your seat, having to cross your legs.

“That’s fine,” your voice reaching an octave higher than normal. “What was the other design, sweetie? Haven’t done a tattoo on a client in a while so I’m grateful that I’ll be the one who gets to work on this.” Lewis mentioned, watching you lose your train of thought everytime you two locked eyes and he found it quite endearing.

“…A lower back tattoo, preferably a word or a heart.” You muttered, Lani’s words running through your mind. Stop, you can’t think about that right now. “That’s a nice one.” He commented, tilting his head and admired your shyness.

Ever since he laid his eyes on you, Lewis had made it his mission to find a way to get with you. He was in awe everytime you would show at one of the many games nights or celebrations, looking effortlessly beautiful yet timid as well. He hadn’t known if you were single until a mutual friend mentioned you and blind dates in the same sentence.

Lewis thanked the universe for giving him the chance to do his favourite thing with the woman he had fancied.

After a bit more conversation, you had managed to get his number and bid goodbye to him, a very warm hug from him to you, and you hurried to your car to take several deep breaths afterwards. After not being intimate with anyone for a long while, you were embarrassed that a single conversation left you in a puddle with an all too familiar feeling in your stomach.

Consoling yourself whilst driving, you grew excited for the week ahead for the tattoo, of course.

-

Darting your eyes between your phone and the house you were currently parked outside of, you felt confused although your gps led you to the correct address.

“Sis c’mon, he wore a cartier bracelet like it was nothing.” You joked to yourself, trying to keep yourself at ease with the fact that your entire back will be filled with ink very soon.

Clearly the camera right by the gate was able to see you and the gate opened up for you. Finally parking next to the car you were familiar with, you fixed up your outfit. You tried walking to the front door with an excruciatingly slow pace to try and calm your nerves but as soon as Lewis opened the door, that all went out the window. His gaze was piercing as he leaned on the door frame, watching you twiddle with your nails and walk over to him with the same shy energy you held the other day.

“You can’t be lookin at people like that, Lewis.” You spoke with a slight smile, being welcomed into his large home. “Like how, Y/n?” He smiled as he closed the front door behind him, admiring every inch of your body.

“Like you wanna eat me alive.” You chuckled, choosing to not feel his glare on you after you said that. He chuckled as well, deciding to not comment and wanting you to be comfortable first.

“Anything you need before we start, love? You seem nervous.” Lewis asked, placing his hand on your back and lead you towards his home tattoo studio. An incredibly large room with decor that screamed Architectural Digest, the tattoo chair stitched with his initials ‘LH’ and a candle was lit, a ocean-like scent wafting through the air. You had told him that you liked that candle scent all those days ago and the fact that he remembered made you blush.

Low rnb music was playing and a calm atmosphere washed over you as soon as you entered the room.

“It’s my first big tattoo, of course i’m nervous about it.” You replied with a sigh, plopping down on the soft couch and placed your phone on the record player stand.

Playing with the band of your shorts, you knew he was looking at you from the doorway. “Also it’s a lil silly but I don’t even know if this shit will look good on me, y’know? I wanted this but i guess it’s just the nerves.” You continued.

Not even hearing him move from his spot, you lifted your head to see him crouched down in front of you. His tattooed hands landed on your thighs without breaking eye contact with you. “Can I tell you what I think?” He asked. All you could do was nod. He hadn’t touched you in the way you wanted but in an instant, you could feel a puddle forming.

“On you, it will be the best piece I’ve done because it was made to sit on your body. A canvas that people will get to admire, a canvas that you’ve given me the honour to work on.” He continued, hands barely moving from your legs.

Taking a breath, you finally got the strength to respond to what he said. “Are you always this poetic to your clients?” You tried to joke but his eyes were glued to yours, the same way he looked at you at the housewarming.

“It took me a while to garner the confidence to talk to you, to just be in your presence. Every time I had the luck to see you, I would cherish it because we wouldn’t be in the same room all the time. I want the time we have here to be meaningful. And before you make that adorable timid face, yes, I have always found you attractive.” He spoke and you were just speechless.

“Are you serious?” You managed to speak, your voice becoming softer the more you accepted everything he was saying.

“Would you like me to show you how serious I am about you?” Lewis shifted his legs so that he could kneel in front of you. You could see the truth in his eyes as he spoke, darting between your eyes and lips.

You whimpered and you couldn’t control it, his hold on you was so strong.

“I need your words, princess.”

“Please. Please show me, Lewis.” You whined out.

That was all it took for him to begin to reach for the band of your shorts but you put your hands on his to stop. His eyebrows furrowed and before he spoke, you went for it. “Kiss me.” You breathed out. Lewis stood to his full height then sat on the couch next to you, pulling you onto his lap.

You made the first move and leaned in, your lips moving together in sync as he kissed you passionately. His hand held the back of your neck, bringing even closer while his other hand trailed down your arched back.

Your whimpers echoed throughout his home studio as he pulled away from the kiss, watching you try and grind to get some sort of pleasure in. Gently putting his hands on your waist, he guided you and you gasped as you felt his length, long and hard. Just waiting for you.

It felt unbearable, a knot in your stomach needed to be released and you threw you head back, just wanting to wash over the arousal. Lewis watched how you pleasured yourself on him, your denim clothes restricting the both of you from connecting skin to skin. “You enjoying yourself, darling?” He licked his lips, looking up at you with dark eyes clouded with lust.

You wanted to respond, desperately, but you couldn’t bring yourself to. The warmth from the two of you became stronger, him leaning up to begin peppering kisses on your necks and not wanting to create any marks just yet. “..Yes.” You managed to breathe out and you loved the feeling of his large hands roaming around your body, not able to get enough of you.

Lewis held your hips firmly, halting your movement and that made you want to cry out of not getting a release. “Lewis, please.” You whined and he chuckled against your neck. “Take your clothes off and lie down, princess.” He said, looking at your cute angry face with a slight pout evident.

Instead of doing what he said, you just looked at him in the eyes clearly wanting to start a challenge. However, he knew his gaze made you weak. It was one of his many charms. All he had to do was slightly tilt his head and it had you standing up and slowly taking your clothes off, him following suit. You oggled at him, his tattoos gracefully placed on his skin making your mouth water.

With you laid down on the couch, he crawled up your body and crashed his lips into yours. He held your neck so gently as he kissed your jawline then your neck all the way down to where you needed him the most. Lewis laid between your legs to admire your clothed core, giving praise to your thighs and ass as he planted a kiss on your inner thighs.

“Oh shit…” you gasped as he started licking all around your clit until he planted his mouth on it, your moans bouncing off the walls as Lewis devoured you like you were his dinner. Sticking his tongue in and fucking you with it was really the cherry on top, your hand flying to his head to keep it in place and you ground into his face.

Screaming as he entered two fingers in your pussy, you felt a tear slide down at the immense pleasure he was giving you. It had been a very long time since someone had gone down on you but never had you orgasmed from head before. Until now.

Lewis licked you clean as he climbed up and kissed you so that you could taste yourself. You could tell he wanted to say something but you reached your hand to palm him through his pants, watching the different expressions on his face. Slapping the side of your thigh, he held your face.

“Bend over for me, princess.” With a smile on his face and you knew you were going to be here a while.

-

The buzzing of the tattoo gun sounded out through the room, Lewis wiped the dripping ink from his canvas. He was doing the last bit of work to fully complete his piece on you, the ink contrasting beautifully with your skin.

Finally switching it off and clearing his station to prepare for the clean up and to place the plastic cover on, he lightly smacked your ass to wake you up. “Darling, we’re finally done.” Lewis softly said, already focused on the clean up.

You hummed, “That’s amazing, baby. Thank you.” You spoke all drowsy from the nap you took earlier and the buzzing feeling of your body even after the tattooing gun isn’t touching your skin. Not to mention the sativa joint you smoked together before the final session.

You and Lewis kept this arrangement going, him saying that once he finished his artwork on your back, he’d take you on a date to wherever you want to go and you agreed. The mutual crush you had on each other transcended to a different level, becoming almost domestic every moment you spent together.

“Can I see it?” You asked, rising up from the chair and you looked at him while batting your eyelashes. “Of course you can, princess.” Lewis leaned down to peck your lips then led you to the mirror. You gasped when you saw your dream tattoo, sitting perfectly on your back and your mind was running wild with thoughts already.

“The backshots with this tattoo are going to be amazing.” You giggled and he just rolled his eyes. “Okay that’s enough weed for you, baby.” Lewis chuckled then lightly tapped your ass.

“You were thinking it though!”

saint’s notes 🪩: mind you this has been sitting here since feb 🧍🏽‍♀️. this is dedicated to @mauvecherie-writes , thank you for your patience fren 🤭 and yes the monaco fit made me go feral.

[yok00k]

coming down

pairing: non-idoloc! x idol!jk

genre: angst

“i always want you when i’m coming down”

sypnosis: although you sleep next to jungkook every single night, it feels like you’re million miles away from him.

wordcount: around 1,000

warning: in 1st pov, it’s a little sad (for me), open ended ending, one sided love, allusion of cheating, oc’s world revolves around jk (don’t be like her)(lowkey im her), toxic relationship, lack of communication

author’s note: this did not go as I initially planned help-_- i was gonna make light jealousy oc/jk drabble idk how I ended up with this. i hope yall sob w/ me or lmk ur thoughts

an absolute ideal.

his performance. the concept. the way he sang his new released songs flawlessly. how smooth his dancing movements were. how the stage composition and development were so sumptuous.

and most importantly, how romantic the live performance was, given the fact that there was an actress involved in the show.

calling Jungkook an amazing artist would be an understatement. He’s creative, unique, and original in his masterpieces. Everything he does, no matter what, is just mesmerizing and astounding. He’s indeed a true performer.

Jungkook dedicated several months to work on his solo album. The time and effort he had put to his work is just admirable. On most days, he stays up late, trying to come up with so many possible ideas and options he can add on his album.

and I was there by his side. I chose to be.

I was there, waiting for him to come home every single night, or usually midnight, in our noiseless living room, wrapped with a thick blanket and loneliness. He would arrive home, but as night by night goes, I was accompanied by nothing but solitude. it feels like it’s taking over me.

I was there, in bad days where Jungkook is focusing on the negatives and having doubts in himself. Days where his standards for himself weren’t being met. both of my shoulders were closely next to him if he needed something to lean into. Reminding him that it’s okay and he’s doing wonderful.

I was there, even in times when he didn't want or need me to be there. times where he just wanted to be by his own with no distraction. but here I am, continuously showing him my undying love and support for him.

I chose to stay there. on nights where he stopped saying “i love you” back before going to dreamland. I hugged him closer as I convinced myself to believe that he just didn’t feel like saying those three words at those moment because of all the stress he undergoes through day to day.

I gave all of myself, I’ve done my part as his other half. Just like how Jungkook produces his works, I poured all my love and time to him, leaving not a thing for myself. It sounds foolish, but that’s just how I love

⋆｡ﾟ☁︎｡⋆｡ ﾟ☾ ﾟ｡⋆

we’re both lying on the massive bed, only inches apart from one another’s body yet it feels like he’s millions of miles away from me as I stare at his cold, broad back that’s facing me.

I’ve got to used to this upsetting scenario at this point but that doesn’t mean it hurt less.

The whole bedroom feels chilly. I’m freezing, solely due to the fact that his warm arms weren’t wrapped around me like they used to be. as i’m not hearing his snores, I know that he’s still awake

“Do you still love me?” I manage to ask out loud and clear, immediately regretting the words that came out of my mouth even though it’s simply an inquiry.

a question that’s been going around my head for quite some time now. a question that i’m afraid to know the answer to because his response might be the response my heart doesn’t wish to hear or else it will shatter into millions of pieces.

my hope for an answer rapidly decreased as seconds went by filled with silence. The absence of noise that surrounded me was deafening; abundantly mocked the emotions I was feeling at the moment, screaming at me that my feelings didn't matter.

It's alright.

I did nothing but wipe the single tear that uncontrollably rolled down my cheek.

it’s stupid. I should’ve just kept it to myself. maybe that would be less embarrassing. less problematic. less painful than I was feeling minutes ago.

I turned my back against his as I accepted my defeat. maybe I’m just tired. maybe drifting to sleep will make me feel okay although I know deep inside that I won’t take the pain away. this is not some type of feeling i’m unfamiliar with to begin with.

I shut my eyes, as I try to put myself to sleep. but in that process, i felt his body moving, turning around, and finally snakes his warm arms around me. a pair of arms, the same ones I longed for so many nights.

“____, why would you ask that?” he giggly asked, sounding like he just heard a silly question. as if i was just being clingy and wanted some piece of his attention.

‘because i don’t feel like you love me anymore’

the man waited for a response, waiting to see if I was just fooling around or that was really genuine. the noiselessness, just like all times, answers the question we both interrogate to each other.

the heavy feelings just got worse, if not heavier. even so when he talks more. “i won’t be laying next to you if i wasn’t.” as if that makes me feel better.

indeed, he’s physically here by my side yet distant. Jungkook is so far off that I’ve lost him. numbness was all I felt as I heard his words. I couldn’t be more content now that I have my answers.

his indirect answer to a ‘yes’ or ‘no’ question is enough for me to know where we stand.

I can’t help but to turn my body to face him, just to stare at his doe eyes that I easily get lost in due to the fact that they hold thousands of stars, if not a whole world in them.

regretfully, my eyes should’ve just maintained contact with doe-like eyelids. but rather, they drop their focus on the side of his neck, detecting a foreign lipstick shade that he might have forgotten to wipe off. a shade that will be tattooed in my brain and will forever hate.

Inhale. Exhale. I chose to shrug it off, bringing my attention back to his worn out face.

“I love you” truthfully and whole-heartedly confessed to him once more just like I always do. although this was a little bit different because I don’t expect him to say it back anymore.

and with that in mind, this was also the last night that I will to express my love for him.

[choicesficwriterscreations]

April Creator of the Month: Aallotarenunelma

Each month, CFWC highlights one of our talented fanfic writers or artists, and this month’s creator of the month is the lovely @aallotarenunelma! The writer is selected at random. More info can be found on the navigation page. Past COTM's can be found here.

Quick Links:

Tumblr Blog My Masterlist

How do you want to be known on Tumblr? 

Aallotar is fine. I am agender. My pronouns are they/them.

More below...

1- When did you start playing Choices? What was the first book you played? 

I saw the app being highlighted a lot in Google Play in 2017, but it was only at the end of February-beginning of March 2018 that I downloaded it. It was when Perfect Match 1 started releasing and shortly before Bloodbound 1 began releasing. Time is flying!

There were already a lot of books, and it was a bit overwhelming. I chose the series that was being heavily advertised: The Royal Romance.

2- When and why did you join Choices fandom?

I joined the Choices sub-Reddit in July 2019, then the Tumblr fandom in April 2020.

I first joined the sub because I wanted to discuss the books and the characters, and hopefully befriending other players. It was lonely to read the books, and having no one to share my opinions and theories with. Then, I took a step back from it and after lurking a bit, I joined the Tumblr community. 

3- How did you pick your blog name? 

When I joined Tumblr, in April 2020, it was initially to be a Writblr. I was writing a story about a heroine named Aallotar. Its title gave my blog’s URL. My blog’s title is its English translation: Aallotar’s dream.

In the end, my blog turned into a bit of everything.

4- Pull up the first post in your archive, and tell us about it!  

This is my very first post. This is my original writing, conveniently mentioned right above. :)

5- Do you write fanfiction, create fan art, or are you one of those really gifted people who do both? 

I define myself as an artist because I create. This is how I express myself. It doesn’t matter if the pencil I use is to write or to draw as long as I create. Before I started learning how to draw, I was always saying that I was drawing with words. To me, this is what writing is. I draw and paint with my words to depict stories that my characters want me to tell.

I mostly write, but I also create fan art, such as sketches and various kinds of edits: quotes, sprites, moodboards, etc. 

6- How long have you been creating for Choices and for any other fandoms?

For the defunct app Lovestruck, from December 2020 to October 2021.

For Choices, since April-May 2020. 

7- What is your favorite Choices book, and what is your favorite Choices book to create for?

My all-time favourite Choices book is Veil of Secrets. I adore it!

I heavily create for the It Lives Anthology - the three books - and also for Immortal Desires. I love these books so much that I made a crossover, and most of the characters from the Anthology and from ID have met and even befriended each other.

8- Share your first Choices fanfic or fan art that you posted with us. Do you still like it, or would you change it if you were creating it today?

My first Choices fiction is a Blades one: Of Stardust and Light.

I still love it and I wouldn’t change anything - except the typos and the clumsy grammar/syntax, due to the fact I am not an English-native speaker.

For a long time, I thought it was my masterpiece, that I wouldn’t write something as good or even as better than this. But I proved myself wrong in the end.

The other reason why I wouldn’t rewrite it now is because I have definitively stopped writing for my Blades pairing, Tyril x Soile. I made it official a few months ago, and this decision is final.

9- What is your favorite piece of fiction or art that you created? 

It’s really hard to choose only one, but I do have a soft spot for Répondez, S’il Vous Plaît ! #3 because this is where I tell about my OCs’ Ash and Skylar’s meeting. It was a story I wanted to write for a long time and I love it.

Chronicles of a Crimson Summer deserves to be mentioned as well. This is the longest story I have shared here, and it’s a real balance of angst, fluff, and funny moments. Also, because its birth was extremely painful, so for all of these reasons, I am glad I wrote it and shared it.

10- Do you have a fic/art that you didn’t expect to be well received, but it was? What about one you expected to do well but found it could use a little more love?

I never expect anything I share to be well received, whether it’s a fiction or a drawing. I’m only sharing it, hoping that at least someone will find it and enjoy it. Even better if it helps the person in any way.

That said, sharing my art remains a lot more difficult than sharing my writing, so any art reblog is leaving me a bit confused, due to my imposter syndrome.

Most people here who are familiar with my stories have read some of the funny stories I have shared, as well as the fluffiest stories I have ever written - sometimes too fluffy for me. 

However, this isn’t only what my writing is about. Darker Than Night has generated so much indifference that it saddens me.

This series really shows what my writing is, minus the layer of humour that you can usually expect. It truly deserves better, just like In Joy and Sorrow, that actually gives a good idea of what my writing really is.

11- (WRITERS) If you could write only angst, fluff, or smut for the rest of your writing life, which would it be and why? 

I usually share a lot of fluff here, because the world outside is hard, so I want to uplift people with sweet and funny stories. However, my original writing is usually angsty with some funny and fluffy moments to alleviate all the angst a little. So, I’m choosing angst. Definitely. To me, writing angst is comforting.

11a - (ARTISTS) If you could only draw one style or type of art for the rest of your life, what would it be and why? 

I could easily do oil pastels for the rest of my life. It’s an easy technique to learn, it’s very forgiving, it’s calming, and I love how it looks.

12 - Do you ever recognize yourself in any of your MCs or in your writing?

I am agender and aspec, so in any non-binary and/or aspec MC / OC of mine can be found parts of me, regardless of how they define themselves on those large spectrums. Representation is highly important to me, so this is one of the recurring themes in my writing.

Also, the witty/sarcastic and playful characters are easy to write because I know them too well!

13 - What element of writing/art do you struggle with most?

Finding the right word is difficult, either in English or in my native tongue. I always want to capture the emotion, the feeling, the landscape with the perfect word. I’m still learning in my daily life.

Regarding my art, at the level I am right now, that would be shadows. Sometimes, they look great, but they often don’t. Practice makes perfect, so this is what I do whenever I can.

14 - Do you have any neglected work you really want to finish?

I tend to have only one WIP that I see to end. One reason for this is that I usually write my stories in a notebook, before I type them down to share them. The state of the notebook is not always great; I even sometimes struggle to re-read what I corrected!

If it’s about my original work, then, yes, I want to finish that one novel’s second draft.

15 - If someone you know in real life (who isn’t involved in fandoms) asked to see your work, would you let them? If yes, what would you show them first? 

It has actually happened with one of my siblings. At that time, I was only writing for Blades and had maybe like five stories posted. I let my sibling read them because we are close. For other people, I think it would be on a case-by-case basis, but most likely not. I'd rather make them read my original writing, if my shyness isn’t getting in the way.

16 - Are there any writers (published authors and/or fanfic writers) who influenced your writing or art? Are there any artists that influence you?

Émile Zola and Arto Paasilinna are my all-time favourite writers.

I am learning from every fanfiction writer I am reading. First, because I read in a foreign language. Second, because I believe you learn from everyone every day.

In terms of art, I don’t think I have a particular influence. I am still exploring my style.

17- (WRITERS)  Which one of your stories would you most like to see as a movie/series? 

It would be In Joy and Sorrow. I created this It Lives in the Woods AU series to give a life to my first MC, Riikka. The one she couldn’t have. In this series, I talk about close friendships, coming outs, being bilingual/bicultural, how to navigate a romantic relationship as an aspec*, how to deal with bullying/harassment, etc. I talk about timeline collapse and time-travelling as well.

And because there’s the most delightful OC ever, my all-time favourite: Ash. He truly is one of a kind and his friendship with Dan is really something special.

*aspec: a person on the aromantic and asexual spectrums.

18 - (ARTISTS) Which one of your creations would you like to see a fiction written about? 

I don’t have any yet that would justify the honor of having a fiction being written about.

19- Do you write original fiction or create non-fandom art? 

I started writing when I was 10 years old. It was thanks to an assignment for my native tongue class when we were studying the structure of a fairytale. I really enjoyed writing one, so I kept writing over the summer. Little stories about everything and nothing.

I wrote my first novel when I was 13, but never dared to send it to a publisher. I kept writing novels - and not sending them, I have a nice collection, now! - and branching out in other forms of writing, in hope to develop as a writer: rpg forums, poetry, (fan)fictions, creative writing course, etc. I took a ten year break from writing (fan)fictions before returning to them.

I am working on the second draft of a novel about grief, and I have three other different novels already outlined.

Regarding art, I mostly create non-fandom art.

20-  What other hobbies do you have?

Except writing and drawing; I paint murals and do oil pastel; I do theatre; I design and crochet my own clothes.

I enjoy watching old films, Hollywood era and silent ones included, but modern films as well, if they are excellent.

I love learning foreign languages, listening to music and going to gigs.

I am also a true race car enthusiast, preferably Formula races - F1 to F4, Formula Regional included.

I also enjoy going for walks in nature and travelling.

21: Tell us anything you’d like (if you want to).

I want to thank CFWC for highlighting me, and giving me the chance to talk more about my characters, my stories, my writing and my art. This means a lot, especially as this month is also when I’m celebrating my 4 year Tumblr Anniversary.

Thank you for your support throughout these years!

I want to thank so many people, but I’m also scared to miss any of them!

Thank you to my friends, old and new. 💛

Thank you to everyone who has read and reblogged my stories and left kudos and comments on them. It has been helping me so much in believing in myself and my writing.

Thank you to everyone who has reblogged my art and my edits and left comments on them.

Thank you to every talented person who has gifted me a piece of their beautiful art, written or not, anonymously or not.

Thank you to everyone who has asked about my characters and my stories.

Thank you to everyone who has sent me positive and uplifting messages.

Lastly, thank you to every single person who has supported me these past months, in many different ways. Your kindness and your presence have made a difference, and I am grateful for those and for you all.

And a special shoutout to my fellow rainbow creators! 🌈

[throneofsapphics]

any chance you would write a part two to broken promises?? it’s absolutely a masterpiece and i’m so invested in the way you write him 😭😭💕

broken promises (part two)

(part one)

Fenrys x f!Reader

Summary: Fenrys watched as y/n crumbled, again, and the thin tether he kept on his self control snapped

Warnings: bad family dynamics, not proofread 

Word Count: ~1.9k 

A/N: thank you for requesting it! I definitely plan on writing more with him in the future, but I wanted to finish this up first

In the following weeks, she’s certain Fenrys is the only reason she kept sane. 

A letter arrived from home, stating she had “one chance to return and explain herself.” The way the letter was written, she knew exactly what her father thought of her timely departure. No news of her ‘engagement,’ arrived in Orynth, thankfully. 

She’d make a return, she’d go back just to tell him exactly what she thought of the situation. Give him a piece of her mind and damn the consequences. 

-

“Am I abandoning my people, this way?” She asked Aelin quietly. 

She paused, a chocolate inches away from her mouth, and placed it back down on the table. An important enough question the Queen put a sweet back down, y/n would’ve laughed if the topic hadn’t been so serious. 

“No,” Aelin said firmly, placing a hand on her shoulder. “Did he try to give you responsibilities before this? Any role in your court?” She shook her head. “He’s only using you when you’ve become a convenient pawn.” 

The words, no matter how truthful, still stung. But, that’s something she’s always appreciated about Aelin - she never sugar coats her words. 

“It hurts.” Aelin’s gaze softened as she frowned. “If it wouldn’t cause such a scandal, I’d burn him to ashes.” 

Y/n chuckled softly. “I believe you.” 

“Will you go back?” Aelin was worrying her bottom lip. 

“Yes,” she rolled her shoulders back. “To tell him exactly what I think of his scheme.” She grinned, and caught Aelin’s nod of approval. 

“You shouldn’t go alone.” Y/n opened her mouth to protest, but Aelin held up a hand. “I know you can take care of yourself, but it’s always good to have someone in your corner.” She tilted her head, “maybe Fenrys would go with you?” 

“On your orders,” y/n snorted. But - the idea of him coming back with her, of spending more time with him - sprinting through the woods, being with him in general, sounded nice to her. 

“I don’t think I have to order him. Why don’t you ask him yourself?” 

A pit of nerves formed in her stomach, but she nodded at her friend. She could do that. 

-

“You had to bring another one of your kind along? Couldn’t speak to me on your own?”

“I chose to come with her. What did you mean, ‘our kind’?” 

The man rolled his eyes. “Don’t be daft.” 

Y/n took a step forward, and he saw the rage glowing in her eyes. “Careful how you speak, father.”

“You only prove me right.” 

He watched her eyes glow, her canines flash slightly. Things Fenrys loves, but her father … he sees them as something awful, and he couldn’t help himself from butting in. “At least ‘our kind,’ can keep promises. Unlike some surly power hungry bastards.” The man glared at him for a second, before turning back to his daughter.

“Spreading all of the family business now?” 

Fenrys isn’t used to being ignored. This man has no idea who he is, a benefit in some scenarios, but right now he wants to strike fear into him. Still, this is her fight and he came here to support her. 

“You made it clear where I stand in this family.”

“I’m giving you the choice.” Her fathers voice was almost desperate. But did he want to hang on to his daughter or his power? 

“You’re not giving me a choice at all. Marriage or disownment.” She said blandly, her face perfectly neutral. 

Fenrys watched her father’s every move, every slight stiffening of a muscle, the way he shifted his weight, how close his hand was to any blade. At least he had the common sense to keep his hands far away from those. One look at him might’ve done that. 

“You would abandon your people that quickly.” 

Fenrys watched as y/n crumbled, again, and the thin tether he kept on his self control snapped. “Funny of you to talk about abandonment, you only took an interest in your daughter after she lost her mother.” He said with an edged chuckle, making sure the man saw his canines flash. A bit of fear trickled into his scent. Good. Y/n laid a gentle hand on his arm, sending him a glance he couldn’t quite decipher, but he understood the message ‘please stop.’ So, against his instinct - the one to rip into this man for hurting his female … no his friend, and kept his mouth shut. 

~

Her father all but ordered them to vacate the premises, and y/n had taken off without grabbing any of her things - determined to put as much distance as possible between her and the estate. He followed, keeping pace with her, and letting her have silence. 

“I didn’t need you to speak for me.” She snapped. Fenrys went still. “I didn’t mean that,” her eyes closed. “Thank you - is what I meant to say. I couldn’t have …” 

“I wasn’t the nicest.” Fenrys added, as her words trailed off. 

“It’ll be one of my new favorite memories.” She said, sincerely, and grinned at him. 

-

Fenrys was with her when the letter arrived. He watched her hands shake, tracing over the seal. He slowly laid a hand on her shoulder, not wanting to scare her. She tilted her head to look at him, and gave him a tight smile. 

“I should probably open this sitting,” she switched back to the letter, tracing her fingers around the seal, but didn’t move. 

He debated what to do for a second, how he could best help - if this is something he could help with. Sucking in his bottom lip, he wrapped an arm around her shoulders, leading her towards the closest private garden. She leaned into his touch, but her eyes never left the letter. He barely steadied her as she tripped over a small rock. She murmured a thank you, and he shrug it off. 

“Here,” he motioned towards the bench. A beautiful garden Aelin had planted - but one the groundskeepers hated. Wildflowers grew everywhere except the cobblestone path leading through it. Natural - that’s what she wanted. It’s one of his favorite places, somewhere he can go to breathe. 

He sat next to her, leaving a few careful inches between them. Her hands shook as she opened it, but he wouldn’t insult her by asking if she wanted him to. 

Formal, thick parchment came out, and a neatly written script. Fenrys looked away, realizing he was being nosy. Less than a minute later, he heard the flutter of paper, falling right to the ground. 

He turned to her in alarm, only finding y/n’s eyes already fixed on him, wide and lining with tears. 

“Disowned.” She seemed to crumble in front of him, her shoulders caving in, face falling. 

-

Fenrys stood, pulling her up with him, and tugged her into his chest. She didn’t think too much about it, only leaning into him - letting his warmth anchor her. She had a general idea of what it would be as soon as she felt the thick parchment beneath her fingers - the crisp, formal paper and the seal. He never used to seal. 

Still, seeing it in writing formally stripped of any titles, holdings, or birthrights… not that she had or wanted any in the first place, permanently disowned, she could live with that, but the last part - the one that stripped her of her last name. She has her mothers name, of course, but … no longer a member of their family. Would her brothers reach out to her? Or her cousins, her extended family all living in Eldrys? What kind of tale would he tell them? And would they believe him? - that’s her biggest question. Maybe she could search for her mothers family, she’d wanted to for years but any inquiries she made to her father were shut down. 

She didn’t want to, but slowly separated herself from Fenrys’s hold, and took a step back, crouching to pick up the paper, before handing it to him wordlessly. Y/n watched his eyes scan the page, watched how they lit in fury. The paper crumbled slightly where his fingers clenched. 

“Careful,” she joked “I want to frame that.” 

He snorted. “And I want to punch someone in the face.” The corners of her mouth turned up, she knows exactly who he would like to hit. 

“As long as I can get the first hit.” 

He gave her a half-grin, handing the paper back towards her. 

“Who are we fighting?” She heard Aelin, turning to see the Queen yawn, one hand covering her mouth. “And not in my garden.” She rubbed some sleep out of her eyes, before spotting y/n. Tear tracks still ran down her eyes, a paper clutched in her hands. Aelin’s eyes were drawn to it, and y/n watched her glance between that and her expression. She didn’t wait for her to ask, only held the paper out in front of her. 

Within seconds, Aelin had crossed the space between them, gently snatching it from her hands and began reading. 

“Don’t burn it,” y/n said quickly, “I need to frame that.” 

Aelin ignored her - but didn’t burn the paper. Her hands shook in fury, but she’d calmed her expression by the time she looked up at her, and pasted a crooked grin on her face. “Congratulations or sorrows?” 

Y/n burst into laughter, even as more tears escaped her eyes, and crossed the distance to her best friend, wrapping her in a tight hug. 

-

In the following months, she learned that her name became synonymous with traitor and trash in her home lands. Her friends here, the ones in Orynth, made sure to spread the actual story. She convinced Aelin to keep silent, but couldn’t stop the other friends she’d made in the city.

“The people need a scandal every once in a while.” Fenrys mused, his arm wrapped around her. 

“I’m not a scandal,” she hissed at him. 

“Not you,” he said quickly, “your fathers actions.” 

She huffed, rolling her eyes. “It’s not that big -” 

“Yes it is.” He interrupted her. She pressed her lips in a tight line. He knows she hates that, and he grimaced - an apology from him if she’d ever seen one. “It’s a big deal, what happened to you. Don’t undermine it, your experiences.” 

She froze as he leaned in and pressed a kiss to her forehead. Fenrys went still, his eyes wide, as if he thought he’d made a big mistake. 

Y/n rolled her bottom lip between her teeth, and decided to throw caution to the wind. She shifted so she sat on her knees on the couch, tall enough she could reach him, and carefully reached out to lay a hand on his cheek. 

Everything between them, the tension she felt and hoped he did to, had evolved slowly. They hadn’t kissed, hadn’t touched beyond gentle and casual embraces. But … he leaned into her touch, closing his eyes softly.

When he opened them again, she summoned every bit of confidence she could and asked, “Can I kiss you?” 

His hand cupped her back of her head, running his thumb along her cheek, and it was her turn to lean into his touch. 

“Nobody’s ever asked me that before.” His voice was quiet and distant. She felt like she’d made a big mistake. She pulled away from him. 

“I’m - I'm sorry, I did-didn’t mean to,” her words stumbled out, but he gently pushed her head towards him, stopping a hair's-breadth away. 

“Can I kiss you?”

“Yes,” she breathed, and he closed the gap between them.    

[cositapreciosa]

I love your narcos fic so much.i read all of them and i wanna say thank you for writing so many masterpiece and sharing with us 🙏🏻🙏🏻💖💖💖can you write some short fic about Pacho Herrera x gn/reader? pls 🥺🥺🥺

Colombian gold

Pacho Herrera x gn!reader, (nothing very bad, the usual for the show) 2512 words "you have a date? how much did you pay them?" by @novelbear

a/n : thank you !! <3333 enjoy this maybe not short fic of his

As always it's the fictional, not the real deal, enjoy xx

Tagging the narcos fam @narcolini @drabbles-mc @anunhealthydoseofangst @hausofmamadas @ashlingnarcos

Pacho doesn’t really know why he is here. Sure, maybe it is Miguel's birthday party and he was invited, maybe it might also be about the bigger picture, that Miguel fucked up with the US government, fucked up with their shipments, this event a good occasion to make sure Miguel knows who he is working for. This could be a phone call, he could have sent someone else, but why keep himself away when he could come to Mexico, enjoy the drinks, the food, your company.

He likes to think he is bigger than this, those events, the gluttony of it all, bigger than the jealousy that pierces his chest when he sees you across the pool, someone’s arm wrapped around your own. This jealousy is hot, burning through his chest in a way he has never felt before. It overpowers him, but he can only watch and clap with everyone else as fireworks boom and light up the sky. He catches eyes with Miguel a few meters away from you, he is sulking, as usual. Oh, Pacho thinks, what wouldn’t he endure to get what he really wants.

He is almost grateful when he exits the chapel. The air is refreshing, he needs a new drink, and there is an extra stride in his steps when he eventually notices you, leaning against the bar, alone. He feels it again, hot, burning, tearing him apart. The cold glass counter soothes the burn as he props himself next to you.

‘’ You have a date? ‘’ He starts. ‘’ How much did you pay him? ‘’

You turn to him. There is a pink tint to your cheeks, something glossy about your lips, a few drinks perhaps, something irresistible. Your eyes shine from the lights above you, they twinkle as you recognize him.

‘’ I don’t pay for dates, I’ll let you know. I usually turn down offers. ‘’

‘’ Hmm. ‘’

Pacho knows you don’t have to pay for them. Of course, you don’t, not when the silk covering your body fits you like a glove, not when the gold wrapped around your neck makes your skin glow.

He remembers meeting you for the first time, a few steps behind Miguel at all times. Pacho didn’t know your name back then, but he noticed your sharp thinking, the clues and pieces of puzzles you picked up that others would never have seen. You were the smart one he had quickly realized, out of the bunch, those that would only follow, monkeys.

He remembers when the lines had started to blur, when his hand would press the small of your back to direct you to your seat, to his apartment. He would call you on occasion, pretexting work, shipments, and anything in between. Pacho knew you could see through it all, the small gestures, the gifts, you had to, how could you not?

Pacho hated how the Plaza could not see your potential in the same light he would. Greed and jealousy run the world, and it certainly motivated your colleagues too. He had tried to make you see through it, how little they thought of you, how you could do so much more if you left them, joined someone else, him.

‘’ I can’t. I owe Miguel everything, you know that. ‘’

‘’ Loyalty is what will get you killed, they will betray you if they have to. ‘’

‘’ You don’t know that. ‘’

‘’ Are you willing to wait and find out? ‘’

Pacho knew you weren’t, he knew there was something in you that was meant for better, greater things.

‘’ Did Miguel tell you coming to his birthday party alone was forbidden? ‘’ He continues, digging for more information.

‘’ Well, Maria sure does tell me every day how sorry she is for me that I am single. ‘’ Your eyes squint, taking him in, ‘’ But I see that you didn’t get influenced by the backhanded comments. ‘’

‘’ Well, I thought my favourite Mexican would be single for the night, that would have fixed the problem, don’t you think? ‘’

He can see the red that colours your cheeks now, a nice blush. Your eyes burn into his with intrigue.

‘’ Chapo is indeed single. I knew you liked them short and moreno. ‘’

He laughs with you on that one, maybe, he thinks, but he does like you better. More his type, more everything, addicting.

‘’ So, ‘’ the ice inside your drink clinks as you swirl the liquid around, ‘’ What brings you to this part of the world, colombiano? ‘’

‘’ You. ‘’

He could have thought this through a little bit better and made it seem like he was coming for business anyway, that this was just such a happy coincidence, but he couldn’t, not after how you had left last time. It always started like it usually did, music, wine, deep conversations over the balcony, but it also always finished the same, accusing fingers, your clothes back in your suitcase, the betrayed look on your face when he would mention how he can’t believe you are letting them walk over you once more.

There is no point in walking around it because he knows now why you plague his mind, you have got to know too, you have to. Maybe he has had one too many drinks.

‘’ I think you know why I always come back, why I come to waste my time en ese campo with those half-assed associates of yours. ‘’

‘’ Pacho. ‘’

A warning maybe. Do not say such words it means, not now, but he can’t seem to care. At home or overseas, he is a king, untouched. He is so close to you he can see the dots of gold in your eyes better now, raise his hand and feel your forearm with the inside of his palm as you let him. He could kiss you, he thinks, right now, in front of everyone and feel no shame. It would show them, he thinks, payasos.

‘’ Don’t kiss me, ‘’ you plead, eyes glued to his, ‘’ Not here. I can’t, I- ‘’

More fireworks set off in the distance, and another whiskey is pushed toward him by the bartender, but just when he thinks that everything is okay, that this could still be your moment, even when all the noise comes back, even after everyone starts moving again in your peripheral vision, your date puts his arm around your waist.

He doesn’t like how you tense, caught off guard. There is a ringing in his ears, a call for fury, anger, of knives and guns, whatever he can get his hand on. His fingers tighten around his glass, he doesn’t know this one, whoever you decided was fit enough to join your side for a few hours, and he doesn’t care to.

‘’ I suggest you bring your business elsewhere tonight. ‘’

‘’ Pacho, please- ‘’ You pitch up, trying to stop him, the threats, the powertrip, but it is useless.

‘’ I won’t ask twice. ‘’ He continues.

Pacho knows his gun is easily visible tucked into his pants, and quick eyes up and down from your date tell him he saw it too. It does not take much for him to leave after that, after Pacho makes a show of sipping his whiskey and leaning back to display the loaded pistol. You nod to the poor man to go, freeing him from the spectacle.

‘’ Now you are just being mean. ‘’ You tsk.

Pacho’s eyes are still following the man’s back into the crowd until he is but a speck of colour in his sight.

‘’ I didn’t see you try to get him to stay either. ‘’

You bring the last sip of your drink to your mouth.

‘’ What is it Pacho, what do you want? ‘’

Your empty glass is pushed to the side as you lean toward him, your eyes serious.

‘’ And don’t say me, don’t say any other business chingaderas. I want the truth. ‘’

Pacho catches the bartender’s attention and he orders you another glass, something sweet, exactly how you like it. Too much sugar will kill you. Maybe, but I’m pretty sure smoking will get to you first. Mostly it is to kill time and take this moment to think about how to say it, if he should at all. What has been bothering him for a long time, what he knows now since the chapel. Pacho lets you take a sip first, and you let him pay without fighting for the bill.

‘’ Miguel is not being honest with me, I know he is planning something, but I am not sure why. ‘’ He clears his throat. ‘’ I’d like you to listen and, if you want, report anything concerning to me. ‘’

Your reaction is instantaneous, like you have been stung by his words, your body reacting in disbelief. He knows how hard this must be for you, as it is for him too. He loathes how political your relationship has been lately, that you are just a piece of the puzzle being tossed around between them, always trying to win, to triumph. Your laugh is dry, void of emotion.

‘’ You’ve gone insane. ‘’ You shake your head. ‘’ And here I thought for a second you liked me. ‘’

‘’ You know how I feel about you, when has it ever been a secret? ‘’

Your eyes trail off elsewhere, in the crowd, the tiger in the cage. Pacho takes a step closer, approaching again when you let him. His hand moves up, thumb touching your chin, fingers pressing on your jaw, gently bringing your gaze his way.

‘’ Only if you want. Think about it, ‘’ About everything, about what we could do together. ‘’ I won’t hold it against you if you don’t. ‘’

His thumb caresses your bottom lip, a touch for the road, a touch to remember. He smiles, softly, trying to smooth out the tension in your body.

‘’ Enjoy the party, okay? ‘’

He means it. Your tongue rolls around in your mouth, biting back words as you shake him off you. And then he leaves, simply because there is nothing else he can do, he walks to the car, drives to the hotel, home and then he waits. However long it would take.

.

One morning the phone rings, the one he keeps with him at all times, the one he reserves for your number only, no one else's. It feels heavy in his hand, burning through the skin, through his heart, he hadn’t heard from you for weeks now. It takes him a few seconds before he reacts, pressing the button and bringing the phone to his ear.

‘’ Pacho. ‘’

He hears the crackle of your voice over the receiver, flat, his name an acknowledgement, barely a hello. You had only called once after the party, mostly to yell at him, drunk and incoherent. A time when he could do nothing but listen and send a car to your house to make sure you didn’t accidentally hurt yourself. Something he still hadn’t received a thank-you card for, no apologetic phone call, just a deafening silence in return, no more late-night conversations, your side of the bed still cold.

He had thought you wouldn’t call again after that, not when you had been so angry, how you had told him that this must have been all a trick from the beginning. Like a snake, you had spit at him through the phone, trying to break the ranks, the long-earned trust.

Letting you plant doubt into my head at Miguel’s birthday was a mistake.

‘’ Are you there? ‘’

I am. He is, holding onto the satellite phone like his life depends on it.

‘’ I want you to listen very carefully, ‘’ You begin, ‘’ I’ll only say this once. ‘’

This call is moving too fast. Pacho knows this isn’t an apology, and frankly, he doesn’t expect one, but he had hoped you would have been a bit more forgiving, less strategic, less straight to the point. He hears you move around, doors closing and opening, probably at home from what has been reported to him lately.

‘’ Miguel will talk to Don Juan in Matamoros before your meeting. This is what you wanted, right? Information like this? Because this is the last time, I’m done, I’m leaving Mexico. ‘’

He feels like he has been stabbed, straight through the heart and pulled.

‘’ Why? Where are you going? ‘’

Come to me, he wants to say, I’ll fly you in, I’ll protect you.

‘’ Listen, I know you can one-up his deal. ‘’ Hair brushes against the receiver. ‘’ Miguel will know I ratted out the second he gets to your meeting, use it wisely. ‘’

‘’ Don’t hang up. Talk to me. ‘’

He calls your name through the phone, pleading, he knows how desperate his voice might sound, he knows he is. Tell me what happened, and I’ll take care of it. Pacho knows running away is your next step, hang up and disappear, leave and hide, but he won’t allow it, not when he can take you in and make sure you are safe.

In his arms forever at last.

‘’ Miguel wants Guerra to get into the cocaine business, if it works he’ll have leverage, and if the Caribbean corridor closes you’ll- ‘’

‘’ No. ‘’ He has to take a deep breath, remind himself to stay focused on the task at hand. ‘’ No, not that. What happened? ‘’

Why are you leaving? What did they do?

‘’ I- Pacho, I can’t stay on the phone much longer- ‘’

He holds the phone in a tight grip, sweaty fingers, gold rings crushing the plastic.

‘’ I am sending someone to pick you up. Don’t leave your house. ‘’

He can feel your hesitation over the phone, all the planning that would have to be thrown out the window, what it would mean to be seen by his side. This is not just business anymore to him, it hasn’t been for a long time.

‘’ I owe you that. Let me. ‘’

He had longed for this, a phone call, a letter, news of your well-being. A chance to save you, steal you away.

‘’ Okay. ‘’ You sound small, resigned. You know better than to refuse, ‘’ I’ll wait. ‘’

The second you hang up, Pacho is on the move, snapping fingers left and right, setting up cars, planes, whatever it will take to get you out. It scares him to death, the idea of you alone in Mexico, waiting for the other shoe to drop, waiting for someone to figure out something is wrong, to see if Miguel would act on it.

He has a different feeling this time, nothing hot or burning like before. It spreads through him, a searing pain. It isn’t jealousy anymore, fear perhaps.

Maybe it is, he realizes.

Letting you plant doubt into my head at Miguel’s birthday was a mistake.

Maybe it was.

[inawearyworld]

little things in the wonka score/soundtrack that get me every time: a post made by a music major with severe brainrot (seriously it’s getting bad)

• even though i’m not sure how to feel abt what they did orchestrally to pure imagination when it was sung in full, i loved the way it was interwoven until then-the opening credits, the clock tower chiming its intro, etc

• when the intro to hatful of dreams ends and the instrumental HITS. that was the moment i was sitting in the theater like “…oh i’m going to be so charmed by this movie huh”

• something abt the way timmy sings “i’ve put everything i’ve got into my choc’late”. see above bullet point

• welcome to scrubbit’s has no right to be that much of a banger

• the low brass in scrub scrub HELLOOOOO?!?!? the chromatic slides. the muted trumpets. abacus’ bass moments (go off king). the song is literally about laundry and yet IT GOES SO HARD

• walk into the club on a friday night like FIRST YOU PICK UP THE APPAREL AND YOU

• the instrumental of ynhclt that plays while everyone’s flying is so cheesy and so golden-age-of-hollywood-children’s-musical and i cannot help but smile

• the cuh-lassic “one instrument at a time” opening of sweet tooth

• mathew baynton’s voice. that’s it that’s the bullet point.

• #GiveTheCartelMoreTight3PartHarmonies2k24

• well we’ve got lots and lots and lots and loTS AND LOTS AND LOWHY AM I SINGINGGGGGGG

• somethin about how the “noodle noodle” countermelody is a sort of arpeggiated outline of each chord, like a vocal warmup, like he’s letting her take the melody bc he knows she will in time. i’m gonna sob they’re literally family

• the orchestration of for a moment, esp while they’re dancing on the rooftop, just SOARS. idk if anyone here has seen mr magorium’s wonder emporium but that movie shaped my childhood, it’s probably my favorite film score ever, and this instrumental bit is SOOOO reminiscent of it

• clock tower. a fifty-second masterpiece

• CHOCOPOCALYPSE. (for those of us who were on the theatre kid side of the internet in 2018, i think chocopocalypse should be the new calculust. hear me out)

• mat’s voice gets a second bullet point bc what the hell man. literally the sonic embodiment of dark mint chocolate. h e l p m e

• …#fickelgruberisathinmint2k24

• noodle’s portion of ynhclt, while she’s teaching willy to read, has a few instrumental nods to mozart’s famous sonata in c, a typical piece for piano beginners-kids-to learn. in the 1971 film mrs teavee incorrectly identifies mozart as rachmaninoff. this MOVIE

• i wish there could have been more, and more involved/complex, ensemble vocal moments

• charlotte ritchie <3 (okay i’m biased sue me)

• the new orchestration for the oompa loompa song is straight fire

• the LEITMOTIFS the fucking LEITMOTIFS!!!!!!!! the opening fanfare that became the basis of hatful of dreams popping up here and there. the melody to a world of your own playing whenever he thinks of his mom. every time we think willy’s safe from the cartel, ope there’s that descending major sixth again.

• (now that i think about it. sweet tooth is in g major of all keys, rather atypical of a villain song. most of the intervals are major too. it’s the trembling strings that give it that “evil” sound. and it fits so well-like, “we’re not completely immoral! time for a fun little tango! there’s colorful lights! killthisguyplsOH LOOK CONFETTI!” they’re so sinister i love it)

• the way that the intro to a world of your own echoes the intro to pure imagination

• THE ORCHESTRATION DURING “chocolate bushes, chocolate trees” etc AND THE WAY IT BUILDS OH MY GOOOOOOOOOOD. MY HEART JUST BURSTS. EVERY TIME. I AM NOT IMMUNE TO CHEESY MUSICALS.

• the!! chromatic!! basslines!! in!! that!! song!!!!!!!!

• the fact that the bridge comes before the second verse-name any other songs where that happens i dare you. just another example of willy changing the narrative in every way

• the fact that sorry noodle is AN ENTIRE *OTHER* COUNTERMELODY that then falls back into the for a moment melody at the end what the FUUUUUUUUUUUCK

• the monks chanting “giraffe. a massive giraffe”. so fucking funny

• stripping down pure imagination to its essence while willy sings it to noodle was a thousand percent the right decision. and the lyric changes for the situation are sooooooo clever

• as someone who grew up with the 71 movie and has been utterly enamored with its music her whole life, i’m not the world’s hugest fan of this version’s pure imagination orchestration; i get they felt they had to do something different, it just feels slightly too modern/disneyesque, but it had the vibe that they intended for the end of the movie

• anyway god i love this score

[motleymunson27]

Surprise.

Sum: Chris popped the question and proposed to you on stage in front of hundreds of people.

Chris Motionless X Reader.

Content Warning: ALL THE FLUFF THERE IS!!

~~~~~~

The show was just about done, MIW was just finishing their show in Birmingham then would be heading to St Augustine two days later to continue the Trinity Of Terror tour.

It’s been both an amazing time but also kind of rough being on the road since the middle of March. The tour was set to end a bit before Christmas then the guys would be free until their next tour.

Of course, dating the lead singer of one of the four bands, and working as their makeup artist with the production team alongside your sister, Shevy—who was Ice Nine Kills’ makeup artist as well, you got to watch the concert from the side of the stage.

You certainly didn’t put up a fight. Watching your boyfriend from just a foot away from the stage would have sufficed, but watching from the side of the stage with your sister? Even better.

The show was coming to an end, the second last song Chris was set to sing was ‘Masterpiece’, and of course he sang it like a god.

Just before the last song, Chris had something to announce to the crowd.

“As much as I love this last song, I have one thing I need to do before it goes on,” he began, turning around towards the stage entry where you were standing next to Shevy. “I’d like to ask my beautiful girlfriend to come up here really quick.”

Confused, and suddenly very nervous, you slowly trekked onto the stage on very shaky legs. You had no clue what was going on, because this was the first time Chris ever requested you to come on stage with him.

Once you were standing next to him, Chris turned back towards the audience. “For those of you who don’t know, this beautiful thing has somehow managed to put up with me for the last 7 damn years,” he chuckled, causing you to shove him back slightly. “And everyday for the last 7 damn years, Y/n has been nothing but amazing. She’s always thought very carefully deciding when she wants to do things. She’s always been supportive of everyone around her and has definitely been supportive about being on the road for the past very long time that we don’t care to count out. I seriously can’t ask for a better girlfriend or a better makeup artist. She’s smart, she’s kind, and she’s damn beautiful. Seriously, I have no clue how she’s put up with me for so long, but what I’m about to do is really going to trap her with me.”

You only grew more confused as Chris continued his little speech.

“This is something I’ve wanted to do for quite a while so while I have everyone’s attention, I’d like to ask her a very, very important question,” Chris paused, stepping back from you just a little bit…

Before kneeling down onto one knee.

Your hands were immediately cupped over your mouth as your jaw fell slack. The crowd immediately started screaming as Chris knelt down.

From behind you, you could hear everyone in production, the other three bands and Chris’ band mates shouting and whistling.

Chris looked up at you, wide smile on his face as he tried to find the right words to say and not to break out in tears. He needed to wait a minute before he could start crying.

“Y/n, baby, I knew from the second I looked into those gorgeous eyes that I knew I would be asking you this question at some point in our relationship whether we started dating or not, and I wish I would have asked a long time ago but I had a problem trying to find the perfect one and never knew when the time would come. I am thankful that the time has now come and that I have found the perfect piece to seal the deal. I promise to stand by your side when the world isn’t being nice. I promise to love you and to cherish you for as long as we both shall live. I promise to be there for you for the rest of our time on earth, Til Death Do Us Part. I love you, and I am more than willing to rot in hell with you for the rest of my life. So I have to ask…”

Chris trailed off, reaching into his back pocket and pulling out a tiny black coffin-shaped velvet box in his large tattooed hands, and presenting you with a beautiful white gold engagement ring holding a very beautiful black stone in the centre of it.

The band was shaped like tree branches holding the stone, which was also shaped like a coffin. And there was engraving on the inside that said ‘Til Death Do Us Part’.

“Will you marry me?” Chris asked, a silent line of tears streaming from his eyes, his stage makeup that you did for him now ruined from the happy tears, as the crowd continued screaming.

Tears. Automatic tears fell down your face as you immediately nodded your head, bringing every single person in the venue to start cheering and clapping as Chris immediately stood back up and pulled you into him for a kiss after he put the mic back on the stand, wrapping his hands around your waist as you wrapped yours around his neck.

You managed to break away from your now fiancé so he could put your ring on for you. And it fit perfectly.

It looked just as beautiful on as it did off.

“I love you, so much,” Chris whispered into your ear, his hands holding around your waist as he pulled you back into him, littering kisses all over your neck and face.

“I love you too,” you cried, hiding your face into Chris’ bright red jacket, trying to control the tears but eventually giving up. “I’m more than willing to rot in hell with you too, Til Death do us part,” you smiled, referencing the song that Chris wrote about you 6 years ago.

“Til Death do us part,” Chris smiled as he pressed another kiss on your lips before he grabbed his mic and turned to the crowd who was still screaming.

“This last song before all you beautiful people leave, I dedicate to my future wife,” Chris said to the crowd, turning back to you with one final kiss before letting you go back to where you were standing before.

God, that felt nice to be referred to as now.

Shevy immediately yanked you in for a tight hug as the band gave Chris all the high fives and half-hugs as their way of saying congrats, then started playing the beginning of ‘Eternally Yours’, which only made you shed more tears.

You didn’t see much of the beginning of the song as you were being pulled in for hugs from all around you.

You looked at your sister. “Did you know he was going to do this?” You asked, half of your face wet with tears as she nodded.

“I went shopping with him to help find the right size since we’re the same,” she laughed, tears dripping from her eyes at the sight of her sister so happy.

You were very happy. Who wouldn’t be happy if Chris Motionless asked you to marry him?

Multiple ‘Congratulations’ were being said as you turned back towards the floor, your future husband staring at you with the happiest smile as he sang, blowing you kisses as the iconic love song continued.

As soon as this tour was over, the wedding planning would begin. And you could not be happier.

[chaotictarlos]

You took the best of my heart and left the rest in pieces

ship: Tarlos | fandom: 911 Lone Star | author: chaotictarlos| read on ao3

Rating: Explicit Warnings:  Angst, Carlos Reyes needs a hug, canon divergence, before season 3 and during, feelings of being unwanted, self-doubt, Grace is Carlos’ bestie, break-up sex, anal sex, m x m smut, mlm, canon whump, ex-lovers, lots of feelings, canon whump, tk strand whump, internalized homophobia

Word Count: 23,520

Summary: An exploration of emotions. 

To Cassi @ronensass who is my angst bestie and lets me send her songs (and send songs in return) and random thoughts about tarlos - I’m sorry that this took so long to get out.

To Ali @sapphire11 who became one of the biggest supporters of this fic as I wrote it. Thank you for all the encouragement and love that you gave me.

To Giggles @detective-giggles who is just a fantastic person and always listened to my ideas and lets me scream in her inbox about so many different things and sends me the best plot bunnies.

To Noxy @noxsoulmate who always listens to my spirals and allows me to scream about different things and ideas and who always helps me put my ideas into the proper order.

To @lightningboltreader who was so encouraging and allowed me to scream with them about this fic and was always excited when I posted something about it.

To @thebumblecee @mooshkat and @cowlos-reyes has listened to me complain and stress over this fic many times.

To everyone in the TWP discord who has been encouraging and so kind.

Thank you to everyone who's sent an ask about this, who has taken the time to send motivation, and have been excited for this fic to come out.

Author's Note: Title from In the Stars by Benson Boone. Cassi sent me this song and I’ve been listening to it a lot on my drives I thought of this idea so here it is. Remember this is slightly canon divergent so not everything might line up with canon but I did the best I could to make it mostly canon. Though it did, at times, take on a mind of its own. This fic means a lot to me. I spent 6 months writing it and it grew to be this epic -what I think - a masterpiece and I have a few others planned to go on with this fic. I hope you guys enjoy it. I would love to know your thoughts so please drop your thoughts in a comment, send me a DM, or an ask. I'm so nervous to post this dnsndj I hope you all enjoy it and take time to read it. I know it's long.

I am writing a TK POV and a sequel where it explores them getting back together. I hope to have those out soon.

I have also made a Spotify playlist for this fic! Take a listen as you read!

----

Oh, it hurts so hard

For a million different reasons

You took the best of my heart

And left the rest in pieces

- In the Stars by Benson Boone

Past Sundays would have found Carlos awake early and in the kitchen, making breakfast for him and TK because it was their favorite day. After TK got hurt again, they had made a promise to each other that they would always set aside one day of the week that would be their day. A day that they would set aside for time with each other, a day where their attention would only be on each other and they would ignore - within reason - outside forces. It took a lot of begging, graveling with their captains, and promises of picking up an extra shift if needed, but they were both able to get Sundays off so they could enjoy the act of just being together. It was important to both of them that they had one day to stop and enjoy each other’s company and remember that they were important to each other - not that that fact was often forgotten.

Carlos would always start with making a pot of coffee and let the smell of it fill the townhouse. It was a dark roast that both he and TK were fond of. It always made Carlos chuckle to make it because he knew that TK was going to load it down with sugar and cream, ruining the taste of it in Carlos’ opinion, but he was still fond of how TK did it; he had given up on trying to convince TK to get one of the sweeter coffees so that he could add fewer things to it. Carlos would make himself a cup and enjoy the morning paper before he would start breakfast.

Sunday had become pancake day for breakfast. It hadn’t always been that way when they started setting the day aside for each other, and Carlos couldn’t remember what had prompted them to decide that they were going to have pancakes each Sunday, but it was enjoyable. Carlos liked to challenge himself and each week he would come up with different ways to make the pancakes so that they wouldn’t grow tired of it.

Eventually, the smell of coffee and pancakes drifting through the townhouse would wake TK and he would wander into the kitchen, most often blanket still wrapped around his shoulders. TK would mutter a good morning, sometimes complaining that morning came too fast, and Carlos would wordlessly hand him a mug of coffee and kiss his temple. He would urge his sleepy boyfriend to go back to bed and tell him he would bring breakfast to bed when it was down. 

After a few more kisses were exchanged, Carlos would watch TK shuffle back to bed with a soft smile on his face. He would finish breakfast, make two plates, and put them on a tray to carry up and into the bedroom. It was always a 50 / 50 chance whether TK would be awake and drinking his coffee, or asleep with his cup sitting on the nightstand beside him. If he was sleeping, it was never tough to rouse him again and convince him to wake up for breakfast - and more kisses, of course.

They would eat and laugh together and then later, with their dishes cast aside, they would enjoy each other in bed before taking an after-breakfast nap and then spend most of the morning cuddled in each other's arms. The afternoons were always reserved for going to the Reyes’ for Sunday dinner. 

It was always a time when they could just be together and enjoy being in love. Even when the townhouse burned down and they had to move in with Owen for a while, they still found ways to make their Sundays special to them. They might have looked different, but they were still filled with love and taking time to be together. It was the one little bit of normalcy they had when everything went up in flames.

But all that was before.

READ ON AO3

tags: @strangefurychaos @ronensass @sapphire11 @first-kanaphan @angeltk @noxsoulmate  @beautifulhigh @welcometololaland @rangergurlgleek1211 @detective-giggles @tarlos-spain @lonestardust @bubblesandroses8 @thebumblecee @mooshkat @importantbailiffpaperpony @tarlos-spain @ramblingdisaster73

[roslynwrites]

Hi there!

I found you from your beautiful, stunning, nothing short of perfect fic, Incendiary! Apologies if you don’t want new fans/ commenters (feel free to ignore this message if it’s a lot!)

But because reviews were turned off I just had to let you know how amazing the fic was - somehow! This is not an attempt to ask you about your next chapter status or anything like that but to really applaud you for the work you’ve given us for FREE. I think zutara fans in general have felt alienated by the community (esp when creators of the show have openly mocked us) so finding like minded people & quality fics are seriously one of the things that make me so happy.

My brain rot with Zutara died a few years again & then I started watching the live action … saw the infamous scarf scene and well spiraled right back in. Last time I was obsessed with the pairing, was before your fic. So when I stumbled over it this round I ate it up within 2 days … despite having to be up early haha. It was such a master piece even as I write this comment I’m in awe. I wanted to leave detailed reviews on each chapter but honestly the way you built the story, woven canon elements into it & structured the dialogue was breath taking. You brought back so many details and even though it’s canon divergent - everything made sense. It’s not one of those ‘it’s outrageous but for the sake of the fic whatever’, it actually worked WELL.

The characters would do those things had it been a more mature show, aged up, different circumstances. I love that. I also appreciated the lack of focus on kataang and having Katara be more than just a trophy - she felt so true to her essence. I’m not sure what I was even looking for scrolling absentmindedly thought Ao3 but finding your masterpiece was really not something I’d dream of. I did think loosely of a forced proximity, marriage trope for them and you executed in such a satisfying way. I can say that I am so so happy for coming across this. I think I’ve learned alot from the way you write as well. You did such a good job with some of the sequencing and ahhh just a true delight and joy to read.

All this to say I’m so very thankful for your contribution to zutara nation!! You gave the fandom such a priceless gift I know incendiary will be a fic I come back to often to reread and marvel. I hope everything is well with you🫶🏼

This ask made me tear up a little with happy tears; thank you so much for coming here to send this to me, you wonderful person <3

It's interesting you mention the alienation of the zutara fandom in relation to other parts of the fandom, it's actually something I ponder a lot. Fandom dynamics are so interesting in general to me, and every fandom is a little different. I am not a Zutara veteran by any means, I sauntered in quite late to the party and I don't really interact much with other parts of the fandom nor in any discourse, but even to reclusive old me I think it's fairly obvious that the creators deciding it was a great idea to essentially declare open season on personally insulting a large portion of the fandom based on fictional shipping tastes had a pretty large impact on how the atla fandom interacts lol.

Which is, of course, a shame, but cultivating fun, relaxing spaces is still thankfully possible, and I do think that the loud troublemakers (regardless of ship) are a small percentage of fandom; the chill people are usually just quieter and have to be actively found. I am sooo glad my fic could deliver some joy and feeling of like-mindedness for you :)

[imakemywings]

Sapphic Book Recs

Moving outside the realm of fanning out over characters we already know, here are a few book recommendations that feature or center F/F relationships. (Note: I am NOT including comprehensive trigger warnings--please mind your triggers if you choose to check any of these out!)

The Locked Tomb series by Tamsyn Muir - My personal favorite on the list. If you’re into the F/F lit scene at all, I’m sure you’ve heard of these. TLT is a masterpiece of modern fantasy and has enough moments where its glib tone gives way into something raw and real that it keeps the stakes high and the reader invested. The characters jump off the page and the worldbuilding is colorful and strange. However, if you’re easily squicked by gore, you might want to give these a pass--necromancy is a central pillar of the world and Muir does not hold back on the ick factor.

Recommend if you:

Like stories that keep you guessing

Like messy characters

Savor a bit of codependency in your F/F

The Burning Kingdoms trilogy by Tasha Suri - TBK is a fantasy series set in a fictional country inspired by ancient India. Suri weaves together the stories of several characters and does an excellent job of showing how her two main protagonists--Priya and Malini--are torn between their attraction to each other and the roles of responsibility they choose to take up. Suri also does an excellent job of allowing the female characters to drive the plot, even where they don’t exist in positions of power. (Longer review here)

Recommend if you:

Want female-focused fantasy

Enjoy the push and pull of “duty vs. love”

Enjoy multi-POV stories that unfold gradually

Fingersmith by Sarah Waters - Fingersmith is a period romance piece that involves deceit, heist plans, and falling in love with the mark. This is one of those books where re-reading it a second time will definitely feel different than the first go. Waters does a great job with the interplay of the characters’ motivations which are gradually revealed throughout the book.

Recommend if you:

Enjoy spy/heist stories

Love it when characters lie to each other

Are mostly looking for romance

The Priory of the Orange Tree by Samantha Shannon - An epic high fantasy novel clocking in at over 800 pages, Priory covers a lot of ground and a lot of fantasy staples. Ead, an outsider to the court of Inys, has taken it upon herself to secretly guard the queen for reasons of her own--with the results you might hope for as she gets closer to Sabran.

Recommend if you:

Enjoy a romantic subplot but don't want it to take over the action

Enjoy multi-POV stories that unfold gradually

Like the tension of "duty vs. love”

Want an epic dragon-on-dragon fight

One Last Stop by Casey McQuiston - If you just really want something lighthearted and if you’re a big reader of fanfiction, this might be your choice. OLS is a fluffy piece that relies heavily on the found family trope with just a dash of fantasy. The standout character is definitely love interest Jane, a suave, confident butch who sweeps protag August off her feet from day one. (Longer review here)

Recommend if you:

Are mostly looking for romance

Do not want lots of angst

Prefer a story where everyone gets along

Snow Flower and the Secret Fan by Lisa See - I debated including this one, because it is not explicitly F/F, which is going to be a deal-breaker for some people. But honestly the romantic and sexual undertones of Lily and Snow Flower’s relationship come across so strong I’m willing to put it up here. This book is set in 19th century China and centers around the intense friendship of two women, starting from childhood and through their adulthood. This one will take you on an emotional ride for sure. A film came out based on this, but in short my review on that is: the book is better!

Recommend if you:

Are okay with ambiguous relationships

Like looking at what women’s private lives looked like in the past

Are looking for something dramatic/emotional

[pick-me-up-im-scared]

I´ll Show You (Hiccup x Reader), Chapter 3: Confronts Toby

Previous Chapter

Words: 2250

____________________________________________________________

Your pov:

As the clock strikes 3:55 PM we started to head back to my classroom, to show my teacher proof I've been using my time productively. I closed my math book and collected the rest of my items before looking up at Hiccup. He had, in fact been quiet the whole time. Busy working on his art piece. I hovered myself over the table in order to get a better look at his masterpiece. "Good job, Hiccup!" I said while smiling at him as he raised his head. He gave me a shy smile while mumbling 'thank you'. "Time to go" I informed him as I raised up from my seat. Hiccup handed me the sketchbook and pencil case, but I didn't take them "No, you can keep them. You might want to draw some more another time?". Hiccup nodded eagerly before pressing the sketchbook under his arm. As we walked down the hallway I informed him of the different classrooms and which classes I usually had there. "And this one..." I said, pointing to the room beside him "... I don't know. I've never been there". Hiccup chuckled at my unexpected answer, which made me smile. I like to make him laugh. 

When my classroom came in sight I informed him about my 'plan' while putting on his, ... well mine, jacket again. But this time I left it opened, thinking the t-shirt made a good enough job of hidden the most obvious parts of his clothing. "Okay I'm just gonna show my teacher this. It'll be super quick. You just wait here and I'll be back any second, okay?" Hiccup nodded while leaning against the wall, waiting for me to come back. I smiled a little at the sight before entering the classroom. I waited for my teacher to finish helping another student before showing him my work. He nodded and told me I was good to go. As I left the classroom I noticed a group of girls from my class talking to Hiccup. Clearly flirting. "Wow, you look so hot" I heard one of the girls say. Hiccup being his awkward self giggled nervously "Uh, thanks... I guess?". Good job, Hiccup. Good job. Another one of the girls began to caress his chest while the third squeezed one of his biceps. Good luck finding anything. He's not exactly packed. I rolled my eyes before approaching them. I couldn't help but feel a slight bit of anger. Jealousy? No, no, no, I can't feel like this about him! "Time's up, girls! Can I have him back now?" I asked as I came up to them. I noticed Hiccup releasing a sigh of relief when he saw me. All three of the girls turned around and gave me an annoyed look "He's with you?". Wow, nice to meet you too. "Yeah, he's my long lost brother" I lied as I dragged him away from the group. But I stopped and turned around at their next question "Your brother? You don't have any siblings" "Yeah, well he's been on the run for some years now. But we're so happy to have him back" I said in a baby voice while pinching his left cheek. I didn't even wait for them to answer before we left. As we walked down the hallway, on our way to Toby's classroom, Hiccup asked "What did those girls want?". I looked at him, thinking it's obvious they were hitting on him. But of course, he didn't see that. "They wanted to fuck you" I answered bluntly. I felt Hiccup winched at my brutal choice of words.

As we entered another hallway full of people my hand returned to Hiccup's wrist, feeling overprotective over him all of a sudden. Maybe it had to do with his expression when those girls was all over him. I don't want him to feel uncomfortable if I could prevent it. Or maybe it has to do with my facial expression when those girls were flirting with him. Am I falling for him? Stop it (y/n)! This will only end in misery! He noticed and if I'd turned my head I would have seen the smirk forming on his lips. I put on his hood again before walking through a pile of unfamiliar faces. I then saw a familiar face chatting with some other boys. "Hey Toby!" I yelled as I approached him. When his gaze met mine he said his goodbyes to the group, who left. "Dragongirl!" he yelled back, smirking. I rolled my eyes and stood in front of him "Mind to explain this?" I said as I removed Hiccup's hood. His smirk didn't vanish "Oh, I see my delivery arrived. I heard they unfortunately didn't had any white roses, as you wished for". I looked at him, shocked. How can he be so calm? He somehow transported a fictional character to real life! "I couldn't care less for the color of the fucking roses. How the hell did you get him here?" I yelled a bit too loud, leading Toby slapping a hand over my mouth. "Could you stop? Stop yelling is goddamn loud!" he whispered-yelled at me. "Follow me" Toby quickly said before letting go of my mouth and grab my wrist instead. As I'm getting dragged away I quickly grabbed Hiccup's wrist, not planning on leaving him behind. Toby turned around a corner and looked around, making sure no one's around, before starting to explain. "I have this ability to bring back dead people to life... for a while. Making it possible to have one last memory with your loved ones before they leave for good. Like giving a proper 'goodbye'. I've read a lot of books about it. My grandma dedicated her whole life to... whatever you want to call it. She wanted to succeed, but never got to try. So when I found her notebooks I saw it as my mission to be the one to try. For both of us". I looked at him skeptical, but decided to play along "So.... what does that have to do with him? He's not died" I asked, pointing to Hiccup. "Yeah, right. After doing it for a while my mind started to wonder off to different... versions of it. And then characters from movies came up, making me really intrigued to try it out. Be able to live out childhood fantasies, like being able to have Jessica Rabbit and bang-" "Yeah, yeah, I get it" I interrupted him, not wanting to hear about his horny teenage boy's fantasies.

"But I was scared to do it for myself. So I tried to find a candidate. I saw your pin, thinking you had potential. Then when you spoke so kindly abo- what are you doing?" Toby stopped himself. "He doesn't need another ego-boost today, trust me. Got plenty already" I informed while pressing my hands over Hiccup's ears, hoping to cancel out as much of the dialogue as possible. "Hey!" Hiccup complained, smacking my hands away. Toby chuckled as he continued "When you talked so kindly about Hiccup I knew you were perfect. I'm sorry for not informing you and ask for your approval properly, but you said 'yes' when I asked you. 'Sure have him knock on my door with a bouquet of white roses'" he quoted me. I looked at him for awhile before bursting out into laughter "And you want me to believe that?" I asked "That you're doing some voodoo, witch-ery stuff in your spare time?". Toby shrugged his shoulders "Believe what you want, but you're having a movie character in front of you". I looked at Hiccup, wondering if this could actually be true. "How come he knows of so many things he shouldn't? For example cars, he wasn't terrified when he passed plenty of them on his way to my house?" I asked. "Well, we went through a few things before heading to your house. I did want him to be too clueless at your first meeting". I shook my head "Okay, if I agree to this begin real. What happens now?". "Well, you enjoy the rest of your time with him. Take care of the opportunity I've given you. In 1 month exact, from yesterday he needs to go back. But don't worry, I'll inform you of that" he smirked before leaving. "Have fun with your new buddy now!" Toby yelled before disappearing behind a corner. Still looking at the same direction the realization began to hit me. Hiccup's going to stay with me for a month. A month! In my house! I tried to calm myself down, not wanting to cause a scene. Though a smile spread on my lips at the thought. "So... you talked nicely about me?" Hiccup interrupt. As I turned around I saw him smirking teasingly at me which made smack him in the chest. "I only said I thought you'd be a good friend" I answered truthfully. "Well thank you. Wow, I should probably consider staying here. Only my second day and I'm showered with compliments from different people" he teased, making me roll my eyes "Don't let it go to your head, Haddock". He widen his eyes "Hey! You know my last name?". I frowned, acting stupid "I don't know what you're talking about. I was just naming a fish". Hiccup rolled his eyes "Ha ha ha, very funny". I gave him a smile before making my way out of school, heading home.

As we arrived home again the teaching begins. I told him everything he needed to know to survive in this house, thinking the rest would be explained as it comes. Showing him how the toilets works, also the basin, and shower. Turns out this boy won't have difficulties flushing the toilet since it seems to be his new hobby. I gave him a bonus house tour while I'm at it since I didn't give him one yesterday. Seems fair to tell him where everything is if he's gonna spend a month here. "And this is the kitchen. The place where you could get the most serious injuries" I informed him. He chuckled "You're acting as if I've never been in a kitchen. I'm not a kid, you know" he said while picking up a knife to toss it 360. Being able to see the outcome of this situation I pushed him back while letting the knife fall to the floor. "Seems like it" I said while giving him a warning look. Hiccup rolled his eyes before defending himself "I was going to grab it". "Sure you were" I answered before moving on. Giving a basic description on how to use the most common kitchen item seems good enough. Like I said, if he needs to know anything more I'll tell him. "So, food? Anything you're allergic to or don't like?" I asked, figuring it's probably time for dinner. He shook his head "Nope, I'm not a picky eater. I'll eat anything, other than eel". Chuckling at his unexpected answer I said "Okay. No need to worry, eel isn't too common here". I began to cook grilled salmon with boiled potatoes, thinking I might start off with something familiar. He'll try so many strange meals anyway so why not be kind to him on his first day. 

As we eat I figured I should set down the rules with him. "Okay Hiccup, I want you to feel at home as much as possible, but I want to set down some rules. They're not many since I want you to feel free to do whatever you want" Hiccup nodded, encouraging me to keep going. "Rule one, whenever I'm at school you have to stay here, I hope you understand that? Today was a one-time thing, but it won't happen again. If you're going anywhere you inform me before you do so. Then the second rule kind of has to do with that. My room will be the main place you'll stay at. I don't mind you exploring the house, or use the kitchen when needed. But most of your time will be spent there, okay?" I asked, making sure he understood. He nodded. I felt a bit harsh so I added "I'm not doing this to be mean, I just... have to figure out some things. This whole situation is kind of... odd. I think it's best to keep this a secret. And the best way to do this is to set these rules". "I understand, (y/n). I think I'll be able to entertain myself". I smiled a little, pleasured by his understanding. "Plus we'll be able to do stuff together when I come home. You'll be alone for eight to nine hours per day, five days a week". I could tell by Hiccup's smile he really enjoyed the sound of the 'spending time together'-part, which made me glad. "So when the alarm clock goes off you don't have to do anything. Unless it rings for half an hour, then you should probably wake me up or I'll be late. But I think our exercise this morning made you aware of what to do" I teased. Hiccup chuckled "I'll do it if I'll find it needed" he joked back. 

This won't be that bad.

_______________________________________________________

Author's Note: Sorry if the reason for Hiccup to be in the real world sucks. I've been trying to come up with a 'realistic' reason for so long, and this the best I could do.

[broomsticks]

@nanneramma queen of RANGE, queen of rare ships, queen of big, big feelings in small moments. the hpsaffics summer exchange was the first time i got to read (and write for!) nan and it was LOVE AT FIRST SIGHT and i love that we’re both baby mods there now.

baNan is so caring and supportive and ridiculous and someone you can absolutely count on for ‘yes and.’ i love how fully you embrace everyone’s insanity uniqueness, and you brighten the day of everyone who’s fortunate enough to know you — well except mine the few times you manage to snipe beta requests out from under me. 💝

nan writes such a diversity of characters and ships and genres, and they’re all such gems that choosing was LEGIT TORTURE, BUT:

getting steamy in this hot sweltering greenhouse: Bloom • Neville/Blaise • 17k, E. fluff, angst, smut, pining, guilt, humor, friendship, there are a million feels in this one and nan hits all of them perfectly. p.s. my heart always for background ginsy. there’s also lots of exceedingly lovely and thoroughly well deserved comment love on this piece if you too are into perving on that XD

the loveliest little bit of warmth by the cold Scottish sea: Landlocked, Oceanbound • selkie!luna x pansy • 7.5k, T. both luna and pansy are brilliantly characterized here — luna with a perfect blend of serenity and strangeness, and pansy with just the right amount of guilt, hesitation, holding-back. nan has a way with descriptions and turns of phrase that’s just magical; the selkie au feels come through in every other line.

this one hurts. And All I Loved • Bellatrix character study • 5k, M. get into bellatrix’s dark desperate hauntingly lost mind, full of pain and horror, and feel for her!! such terrifying pictures here of her in the Forest, in Black Manor, in the Hogwarts halls, and eventually, to Voldemort.

best twist. Child's Play • George/Oliver • 2k, M. one of those fics i am truly struggling to come up with a rec for because there’s so MUCH in here! is it hopeful, exhilarating, excitement with our favorite quidditch boys, or is it uhhh not that? read it. you’ll feel things. you’re welcome.

‘read it. you’ll feel things. you’re welcome.’ x2. ad te omnis caro veniet • Pansy/Tom • 1.3k, M. "Pansy wants to finish her masterpiece. Tom helps her—for a price." no really i genuinely don’t know how to rec this. the buildup is impeccable. don’t let the tags put you off. you’re in good hands.

tiny bites of sheer heaven. i am tired, i am yours: saffics summer exchange double drabbles // 200 words, misc pairings and ratings. each and every one of these is perfection in a neat little package. such a range of pairings and feelings. some of my favorites: Menagerie (eighth year pansy/ginny flirting), Rather Have You (helga/rowena smut), and The Upper Hand (cho/ginny slow burn romance!! i stg! the buildup you manage to get in 200 words!)

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for an explanation of why i just wrote you a whole ~thing~, check out this post & the ‘mutuals march’ tag below!

[silenttale22]

MUST HAVE BEEN THE WIND/PJM/ - Chapter 1

Summary: Someone once told her she had to learn to live in pieces as there would be nobody to glue them up. But what if a person with similar pieces to her appears? What if by complete coincidence her crying is heard in the middle of the night? What if together they can create a whole new masterpiece?

Dancer!Jimin x Student!Reader Genre: Fluff, Angst, Slice of life. hurt/comfort, Soulmate!AU, SchoolAU Note: Hi Sweetheart! Its already here, and I'm at the same time extremely stressed and excited to show you my first fic. I started writing this story a few years back, and tbh, I never thought I'd get back to it. But here I am, tried my best to improve my older drafts, so I hope you will enjoy it! Story is inspired by the songs with the same title - Must Have Been The Wind by Alec Benjamin, and honestly first time I heard it - my mind immediately chose Jimin as one of the mc so yeah.. WARNINGS WILL BE ADDED WITH EACH CHAPTER

MASTERLIST

CHAPTER 1/CHAPTER 2

Rainy days were always one of your favorites. The gentle mist floating in the distance, over the peacefully swaying trees, or the different-colored neon lights reflected in the puddles always brought a kind of comfort. They filled you inside with something you couldn't define. They helped replace the constant emptiness with some new sensation. It was so often when you wanted to lay down and get soaked, feeling how the rain cleansed your soul.

And it really didn't matter if you were inside or outside; you were always drawn to see how another drop fell somewhere nearby. When outside, you felt the rain fall on a reddened face and hair, soaking them completely and making them feel heavy. The heaviness of the body, however, did not compare to the lightness that came over the soul as you heard rain bouncing off concrete sidewalks or leaves still clinging to trees. 

But today you were inside, window wide open to let in fresh air and to soothe, at least for a moment, the thoughts coming over and over, ending up overthinking everything and nothing at all. Sitting on the windowsill one chilly night with legs sticking out past the window frame. Dark clouds moved slowly across the sky in contrast to the single brighter ones that could foreshadow the approaching end of the shower rains. But you grasped at this moment, the time you could inhale such fresh air in a city polluted with people.

The gentle wind, which this time harmonized with the rain, gently brushed bare feet, causing a few small goosebumps to cover skin from time to time, and a shiver to run down your spine. A thunderstorm heard from somewhere in the distance often made you shiver with fear, but you were unable to return inside the chilled apartment. The cry of nature soothed your inner confusion, but still, all you wanted was to scream, just like the distant thunder. 

Gazing at the swaying trees, long ago you stopped paying attention to the semi transparent drops running down your chubby cheeks, creating their own dark path of blurry mascara. Tear after tear fell, eventually stopping on the cool skin of your thighs. And maybe those weren't tears filled with sadness, but rather cleansing ones of their own. Or maybe you just again found yourself having a hard time understanding why you were staring at the horizon alone for another night.

You observed clouds moving across the sky with the help of an ever stronger wind as it put you in a trance you could never understand. But it helped you forget. Or sometimes think even more. Because even the clouds could move on, to take a new path, unlike you, who are forever buried in the same pit. But, there was no one for you, as wind for the clouds. To help, and to give some support.

From time to time, closing your eyes and feeling as if you are floating in the air. The strange sensation as if you are watching yourself from outside the body. Sometimes having the sense that things around you aren't real. That you aren't real. And although at times it brought incredible relief because you didn't have to struggle endlessly with your thoughts, you often wondered if you were just starting to go crazy.  Or maybe you were crazy for years now.

It was again when you tried to focus on the sound of the raindrops hitting the windowsill or the distant ground, trying not to wail loudly one more time, as you did a few nights ago. Constantly afraid of being heard again. And the last thing you needed was to hear the pitiful words, 

"Are you okay?" 

That honestly meant nothing, because people don't really care. You were fine on your own, weren't you? People quickly start being overwhelming, or at least that's what started to happen a years ago. After the biggest loss, you didn't want to have anything to do with people; you wanted to start living differently. In your own way. And that's how you ended up here, almost alone.

You were cutting off all unnecessary parts of society fast. Ended all contacts and deleted social media accounts. There was no longer the laughing girl that everyone loved. She became a ghost, walking the corridors, avoiding all small talks and commitments. Unusual student who hoped that constant study would keep him from thinking about the wrong things.

And maybe you were right about that in some way. Studying was distracting for you a little, and helped you theoretically forget for a while. But forgetting cannot heal you. First you have to face it and tell yourself that it's a past you can't change. Only after this, you can try to forget.

All these years, you've realized that life isn't so bad. Only the people around were. All those bad memories didn't come up so often without anyone around, but they still did. At least in unexpected moments that easily tore you down and overwhelmed you.

Your life in general was followed by stress, a lack of time for things other than studying, and helplessness. And there were also, among other things, the sleepless nights and shedding tears with legs dangling outside the window. When you just wished to get over all of the negativity in your head. When you wished for a normal life without constant overthinking and trying to guess why things happened this way and not in a different one.

And you sometimes prayed you could go back in time; don't be made to see how things you used to love became things you'd rather forget. The only thing you want is to get rid of the strange feelings that hurt your chest. 

You keep telling yourself that you'll get through it on your own, don't you? That's how you deal with all of the problems—one after another appearing, but you still want to take care of them with your own hands. But lastly, they were only swept under the rug. You get rid of them temporarily like dust, which reappears after a while anyway, and you run out of cloth to wipe them off. And at the end, they only relapsed hitting harder.

A stronger wind blew directly into your face, shaking you out of your state of numbness and slight detachment from your thoughts, feelings and body. You sighed softly and wiped your nose with the long sleeve of your sweatshirt. Pull your legs up to your chest, spin around on the windowsill, and land with your feet on the panels of the living room. Only by a bliss moment thinking that you may fall. End this like that. 

Your apartment itself wasn't big. But at least you had your own place. A small studio flat where the kitchen was linked to the lounge, and the bedroom itself was almost the size of a bathroom, more simply put - tiny. However, the living room most often also served as a bedroom, so you didn't really care about its size. As long as you could fall asleep there - it was fine. Even if sometimes sleep wasn't an often guest in your life. 

You closed the window for a while, then figured you'd leave it ajar, so you did, and moved with a quick step into the kitchen. Even though you knew the path almost by heart, the darkened room made it difficult for you to move from the window sometimes. As you have never been a fan of lighting up the whole room, most often prefer to sit in the dark because of that you could often feel almost blind. Nevertheless your eyesight was very good, even perfect, as the ophthalmologist repeated each time. You still - used to trip over invisible objects on a straight path or snag various things at the height of your shoulders. And maybe you were inattentive, or just perpetually too thoughtful, but that night you didn't feel like adding another thought to the list—why?

It's not so long when a piece of thick material underfoot plays a prank on you like every damn day. So the fact that you were lying on the floor again was like nothing new. Tripping on the carpet was usual but anyway led you to tend to blame your clumsiness. Along with the curses under your breath. Calling out not only the rug but also yourself for being an idiot. 

You can't even count how many times you ended up lying in the same spot, sometimes even hitting the floor with your own hands because of your rising anger at yourself. Not caring if there are anyone in the apartment floor below. So you took another deep breath, only to rise from the panels in a moment and look at your skinned knees, whose pain you usually brushed off by rolling your eyes. Eventually, you made your way to the kitchen, dodging every obstacle with great care while occasionally sighing through muscle pain that was no longer so simple to ignore.

You've often wondered - after a long while after falling down - why the neighbors who live below have never yet come to complain that there is an incredible bang coming from your place every night. Which was naturally caused by the body hitting the floor, but how could they know about it? 

People tended to ignore what was going on in other people's lives until it somehow began to affect their own, and you could only guess how annoying constant knocking could be. Taking a moment to think about it, but quickly gave up and put the water in the kettle on the gas. You quickly poured two teaspoons of black coffee into a mug after wiping your face with a grimy sleeve and recalling that you drank it every night while attempting to study. 

After a few minutes, or maybe longer, of watching at the grayish wall, which in places was covered with big, dark stains, you poured a cup of boiling water to scent fresh coffee and let the hot steam hit your face, which after a while became red from the heat. 

You grabbed a hot cup and headed to your room to spend another night staring at the pages of a book you had to read for your upcoming lectures. You knew that your little dream of becoming a scientist would never be easy, but that is why you devoted so much time to studying. You always wanted to change medicine, even a little bit, or rather, the people who were working in this field. Seeing so many people die as a result of incompetence and reckless behavior has driven you insane since you can remember. The number of those who haven't even had time to take a deep breath of fresh air is still growing, and you want to put a stop to it. 

You'd read sentence after sentence, the letters would blur in front of your eyes at certain moments, which would make you detach for a moment, rub your eyes with your fingers, take a big sip of smelling coffee, and go back to studying. You repeat these steps several times until you need to go to the toilet or run out of drink, which becomes weaker and weaker over time and doesn't stimulate your body as much. 

Tonight, you were only able to last until 3:00 a.m. and finally fall asleep sitting on the floor. Nightmares, or simply unpleasant dreams, usually wake you up. Most of the time, squirming on the couch or on the floor, sometimes waking up with screams. Today was unusually peaceful. 

At six o'clock in the morning, you were awakened by a loud, sensory alarm clock telling you to get up for work, which you also couldn't let go off in your day's schedule, and you knew it perfectly well. You're responsible for yourself, and no one or nothing but hard work will make you comfortable. That’s why you moved heavy cartons to one of the factories on Busan until ten o’clock, only to get home in half an hour to pick up your books and go to college.

And you used to spend your time like this until 6:00. Almost five days a week, sometimes six or seven. There were times, when people from your department began to notice that the dark circles under the eyes were getting bigger every day. Overall, everyone noticed it, but no one wanted to waste time asking if everything was okay. You didn't push them all away for nothing, right? After all, what's the use of asking about it? No one would think about asking how your day went, and even this - they didn't care. On your face wasn't any more a shadow of a smile. When you get home and close all possible locks, only a waterfall of tears will fall. When no one can see.

Another day, you were coming back to your apartment by foot because of your stupid disorganization. When you were late for the bus that runs to your neighborhood once every two hours, you had to wander halfway across the city with heavy books. For the first fifteen minutes of your brisk march, you were swearing like a trooper under your nose, reminding people around how much of a freak you were, cursing at yourself again, doubling your hopelessness and clumsiness with words.

When you finally arrived at your stairwell, you were relieved. Feet were painfully burning because of new corns, made by uncomfortable shoes. However, as you reached the door of your place, more hurtful words were flying around, echoing for all of the neighbors in the building, when the annoying light on the motion sensor would not turn on, while your hands were shaking so badly that you were unable to aim at the lock with a single key. Sweat started to cover your scalp, and another time you couldn't feel the shape of the lock under your one-free finger. You were about to toss all of the books and your bag on the floor in order to get inside. 

When you entered the apartment, everything flew out of your trembling hands and onto the floor. Papers, notebooks, and even a small pencil case with cats spilled out of an unfastened linen bag, along with several thicker and thinner books that she held under her arm. You groaned pitifully and kicked one of the books in anger, which literally made you howl in a second, because the collision of the object with the toes, already freed from your shoes, was definitely stronger than you imagined.

Eventually, without caring longer about all of the things tossed around, you threw your body onto the couch, kicking the air with her legs like someone with a crazy mind but all you just wanted was to get rid of negative emotions. And as usual you ended up crying, while hugging one and only pillow lying on the couch. 

But how could you know that one of your weeping was heard through the ajar window.

[bardofavon]

This is longer than I thought it would be...

Hi, you don't know me, because it's been my life's purpose to have no online presence, apparently. But I just read your latest chapter instead of writing an essay and, since I can't be anon in ao3 I'll annoy you here. So, EXCUSE ME??? you can't just drop a masterpiece and walk away casually. This is now one of my favorite chapters, because it’s such a scary thing to read for how “bland” the actual situation is. Like, talking with your partner before bed? Sure, that’s normal. Unless, you know, you’re Kaz and your partner happens to be the Darkling. Sometimes, this read like “old married couple” and other times, I’m flipping a coin to see if they’ll just murder each other right there.

“The Darkling really is pathetically lonely.” (Coming from the man who literally no longer has friends. But, I like that, even though the Darkling is trying his very best to wear the pants in this relationship, and both of them know that, Kaz still thinks of him as pathetic. Maybe Kaz is lying to himself, to make the Darkling less scary, maybe that’s how he really thinks. But nothing will ever be funnier to me than having some ungodly, horrifying weapon of a man being called “cute” or “pathetic” by his partner. Or, in this case, by his slightly less ungodly weapon of a man.)

“’If I said that seeing you on your knees begging for me is all that it would take for me to give you every part of me, would you do it?’ The world's most dangerous thought experiment, proposed while he unbuttons his kefta." (I SCREECHED)

(Also, love that Kaz reads a book an war, of all the books, and is like ‘eh, that seems interesting to read.’)

“It’s not a request. It’s a command, and Kaz obeys.” (I think I felt that one to the core. But, I really like how you’ve written the thought processes and character development in this story. Like, he’s not the same Kaz as before, because Ch. 1 Kaz wouldn’t like the Darkling order him around like that, Kaz would stab him with his own knife. But he’s always kind of slipping into the part that the Darkling wants him to play— even though he’s trying to justify it as “well I’ll just stab you later.” Kaz kinda dug himself into a hole, that he’s both happy with and absolutely miserable in, and that is so exactly accurate that it hurts.)

“The pillow stays between them, the Darkling still following the rules they’d set on the ship.” (At least there’s some respect. It’s interesting, though, that, for as much as the Darkling wants to own and control and endlessly love Kaz, he still gives him this small piece of control over the rules. It’s kind of sweet, but it also reminds me of those fancy extendable leashes that you put on your dog, that lets gets longer and longer the farther away the dog is, so it’s technically more free, but he’s still on a leash, and there’s still a limit to how far he can go.)

“Kaz should have died on that barge.” (Inej makes Kaz want to live, and the Darkling makes him want to die. The chapter where Kaz has that dream about kissing her, and he’s like “ok, yeah, I’ll fix myself and become a better man just for you” makes this scene with Aleksander look that much darker (pun intended I think?). With Inej, Kaz is scraping himself together into something worth give her, and with the Darkling, he’s being torn apart into something he has to be. I want these two to kiss to badly, but I also hope they never speak to each other again.

(Also, I’m sitting here happily anticipating the return of Baghra, I’ve love their dynamic ever since Kaz hit her with his cane.)

Okokok, that’s all I have to say— Just wanted to give you some feedback, because authoring is hard sometimes. Sorry if it’s too much feedback. This was an amazing read, I can’t wait for the next chapter!! I’ll disappear back into the abyss now.

first of all you NEVER EVER EVER have to apologizing for giving me “too much” feedback there is truly no such thing. i am sitting here with an open mouth devouring every word you say. it's good fucking good. there is no better feeling than being understood in the precise way you hope to be. the way you picked up everything I was laying down in the exact manner I meant for it to be picked up in has me kicking my feet and twirling my hair at my desk at work. (also we are polar opposites! you are destined to have no internet presence and I am destined to Demand To Be Known and my heart is SO full that my demand to be known outweighed your wish to be unknown in this moment in time– there is no higher compliment! no greater praise!)

I'M SO GLAD YOU THINK THIS IS A MASTERPIECE!!!!!!!! writing chapters where nothing happens and everything happens is something that can be so personal lol. it's one of MY favorite chapters which feels terrible to say because it's just 2,000 words of mind games and emotional abuse but i just think it goes hard as hell. this is part of what i meant when i said i was entering into my psychological horror error. it's cute! it's a bickering married couple! it's domestic! it's pillow talk! it's someone controlling every thing you do and every word you say with a gun to your head that they want you to pretend isn't there.

kaz IS both afraid of the darkling and thinks him pathetic at the same time. he built up his name to be this big thing, but really the darkling is terrifying and aleksander is just a dude. he's just a dude. the darkling is pathetically lonely (and this is the second time kaz has called him that, pour one out for the darkling) in a way that even kaz hasn't reached despite literally being alone. because kaz loves and is loved, and the darkling is not. and yes!!!! yes!!! as much as the darkling is trying, at the very end of the day Kaz will only ever see his ‘love’ for him as pathetic. the darkling is pushing every button kaz has here and a few buttons kaz didn't even know that he had, but he's also revealing just a bit too much of himself.

he says he wants kaz to call him by his real name when they're alone, which reveals to kaz just how much the darkling does want to be loved and understood for who he really is. this is something that the darkling can't take for himself. he can force kaz to pretend, but he can't force kaz to actually see, understand, or love him. he says he won't take advantage of kaz's promise to give him everything by demanding physical intimacy, but really what that's revealing to kaz is how much the darkling needs to feel wanted. he needs it to be a choice and not something he takes or it won't mean anything. he needs to be desired by this person he believes he loves. and kaz will never, ever give him that. he’s forcing kaz into this charade as punishment but it's mostly revealing to kaz all of these weird domestic wants of the darkling that he can exploit. he's slipping up and forgetting to fight, but the darkling is so determined to hear what he wants to hear from kaz that he's not hearing what kaz is actually saying. this is dangerous to the darkling as well.

GLAD YOU SCREECHED AT THAT PART BECAUSE I SCREECHED WRITING IT i put my head down on my desk and just left it there for a second before continuing with that whole scene. that wasn’t even there in draft 1 i slipped it in later.

i feel like 99% of the books in the darkling's personal bedroom library are war books. i feel like he would use that as light bedtime reading. and honestly??? kaz would too. this is why they would be perfect together if they had met in another time and another place where circumstances were different and also maybe they were both different as people. so i guess they aren't perfect together :/ but they are! you understand my pain.

YOU ARE RIGHT ABOUT HIS DEVELOPMENT! you're right about everything actually, you are the most correct person to have ever lived. i hope you can bear that burden with pride. but yeah, if this chapter were in the first five chapters of the story everyone reading it would have a “he would not fucking say that” moment with like…the whole thing…but I think we got here very naturally. chapter 78 imo showcased a lot of his more positive character development in terms of his relationships with his crows, ability to be vulnerable, willingness to do the right thing at personal cost to himself, etc. and this chapter shows another aspect of his development in a completely different way. i think out of context he might appear to some people to be weaker than he was in the beginning when actually within the full context of the story i would say he's very strong here, and stronger than he was at the start in fact. his ability to so fully and completely swallow his pride and slip into this role so long-term shows a lot about what he's willing to do to protect the things he cares about. he's going to win even if he has to lose to do it. but also, yeah, at the same time this is a hole he dug himself (with lots of help!)

your metaphor about the leash is also perfect. that's the perfect way to put it because that's exactly what's happening here. i wouldn't go so far as to say it's love bombing but he is trying hard to make sure kaz still feels safe despite feeling like he's in danger. he wants to give kaz this illusion of control. he knows where kaz's lines are and he’s doing a masterful job of stepping over them in all of the right places to cause as much personal misery and discomfort without crossing a line he can't come back from or making it so that kaz can't/won't come around. he wants to build this life where kaz is punished for wrongdoing but rewarded for following instructions, and sometimes that means giving him an extendable leash so he can wander around a bit and feel less smothered. but he's still leashed at the end of the day. (one thing that darkling is not examining, though, is that kaz is not in fact a small domesticated house dog but a wolf. and a wolf can't be so easily leashed and domesticated).

and YES about the darkling making him want to live and inej making him want to die, something else that makes me go crazy considering the darkling represents his immortality and inej represents the fleeting nature of existence. humanity vs inhumanity. inej is “i can fix him” (but actually ‘i can make him want to fix himself’) and the darkling is “i can make him worse” and they're both working overtime. “i want these two to kiss so badly, but i also hope they never speak to each other again” is the perfect kazling mood. the perfect way to see them.

I'M GLAD YOU'RE EXCITED FOR BAGHRA!!!!!!! when i tell you every scene between them is so easy to write but so hard to write at the same time. they have so many things to say to each other but none of those things get them anywhere. conversations that go no where. kaz hates the darkling AND the crazy witch who raised her. and baghra…………..has opinions about kaz too, that's for sure. they both need to start whacking each other again honestly.

Anyway, Farewell!!!! Thank you so much again, it truly means a lot. I hope you have fun going back into the abyss. I hope it's warm down there. I hope they treat you well down there in the abyss. I hope they sing to you and tuck you into bed down there in the abyss.

[pastafossa]

Hey! I love to listen to music that fits a theme when I’m reading, and I’ve put together a small Red Thread playlist, including the songs you’ve mentioned in notes and stuff, I was wondering if there’s any other songs that remind you of The Red Thread, and would you mind sharing them? I don’t mind a t o n of songs too, the more the merrier!!!

Oh I totally get that, I almost always have music I'm listening to that fits the theme when I'm either writing or reading! There's just something about it that puts you in a perfect mood, and sometimes I'm even looping a single song for a specific chapter, again either reading or writing it.

I actually have an entire TRT playlist on spotify if you're looking for everything I have for TRT! At this point it's about half me and half recommended songs by readers. There ARE however some standouts that I quite like that haven't mentioned in the fic I don't think. I'll ⭐ the one that I remember coming from readers! A song for the Hound of Los Angeles: Stay Alive by Hidden Citizens

I do what I need to What I have to Well, you can try To be civilized But I'm gonna stay alive

A song for the Devil and the Hound (and one of my favorites for them): Woke Up A Rebel by Reuben and the Dark

I am wild, I am lost I am sick, I am damned But I am holding redemption in the palm of my hand

A song for Matt: Death of Me by Saint Phnx

I feel it in my bones The devil's at my door So help me This will be the death of me

A song for Jane and Matt early on: War of Hearts (Acoustic) by Ruelle ⭐

I can't help but love you Even though I try not to I can't help but want you I know that I'd die without you

A song for Jane to Matt during our 'I'm hiding my secrets from Matt' arc but also works as a general song for Jane: Neptune by Sleeping at Last

Thread by thread, I come apart If brokenness is a work of art Surely this must be my masterpiece I'm only honest when it rains If I time it right, the thunder breaks When I open my mouth I wanna tell you, but I don't know how

Another powerful song by the same artist (I literally have an entire playlist just by this artist since so many fit, with special notes paid to the enneagram songs) for both Matt and Jane that encompasses both their childhoods: Eight by Sleeping at Last

Here I am, pry me open What do you want to know? I'm just a kid who grew up scared enough To hold the door shut And bury my innocence But here's a map, here's a shovel Here's my Achilles' heel

A song for Jane early on: all of the midnights album Dear Reader by Taylor Swift⭐

Dear reader, the greatest of luxuries is your secrets Dear reader, when you aim at the devil Make sure you don't miss

A song for Matt to Jane: It Will Come Back by Hozier⭐

Don't let me in with no intention to keep me Jesus Christ, don't be kind to me Honey, don't feed me, I will come back

A song from Jane to Matt: With You Til The End by Sam Tinnesz, Tommee Profitt ⭐

When your fears are not fading And there's parts of you breaking I'll hold the pieces all together with my hands Though the night feels lonely I won't leave you behind me Deep inside I know I can't

Each of those are on the playlist along with a lot of other good songs. I've started to wander through some other TRT playlists on Spotify too when I have the time, and there's some awesome songs on them, so if you're looking for even more after this, I highly recommend giving those a look, too!