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missnedge · 2 years

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Seeing is believing (Billy Hargrove X Newby!Reader)

Summary: Billy came to see you, and after a long day and too many fleeting moments or opportunities of waiting. Both of you wanted so much more.

Characters: Mention of Bob Newby (Readers father), Billy Hargrove and Reader

Warnings/Tags: !Newby Reader, afab, she/her pronouns and anatomy, smut (minors dni!!!), first time/loss of virginity, oral (f- receiving), p in v sex, protected sex, slight established relationship if not just friends with benefits, use of pet names, passionate/soft sex, mention of Billys man-whore lifestyle, allusion to men only craving their own release (Let me know if I missed any! I'm still 100% new at this)

You were about to shower after the terribly long day you had. The only solace being your close, over friendly, friend Billy had spilt his lunch with you after you bombed your history exam. All of his advances towards you had been shy touches and long talks in his car. Until recently, when you'd climbed in his lap, grinding into him as he kissed you with feverish lips. How he sounded, tasted and even marked you along your shoulder. Lost in the memory you were to late to notice when the curtains shuffled to reveal the dirty blonde boy, trying to climb into your window. Recognizing the shaggy head of hair from what could be a mile away.

"Billy, what are you doing here?" You laughed at him, grabbing his belt helping him over the window sill.

"I just wanted to see you doll," He took the single rose he probably stole from a neighbor's yard out of his mouth. He was wearing your favorite red shirt of his and his classic brown leather jacket over top. It was starting to get chilly in Hawkins and having lived in California his whole life. Bundling up was not going to hide how good him or his body looked.

"Well funny enough, my Dad actually isn't here. He's on a date, so you could've used the front door." Putting your hands on his chest tapping along the sliver of exposed skin while giggling at him.

"Seriously?" He cocked his head at you, asking breathlessly and creasing his brows.

"Yep," you said popping the 'p', nodding as you placed a soft kiss on his cheek. "Thank you handsome." You said before taking the rose to your closet. Bending over looking for your flower press, you felt a hand come up from behind you. Rubbing along you gently, the other brushing up your back. He gripped the sides of your neck to pull you up. Pressing his hips into your ass, latching his plump lips on the soft spot between your shoulder and shoulder blade. Sliding the straps of your thin tank top and bra down your shoulder. You hummed, arching your back into him, pulling his hands tighter around your lower stomach. You felt him start to grow in his jeans, it happened each time you made out. It was so hot how turned on you made him. Still was being gentlemanly even with his reputation around Hawkins, he wanted you to feel differently about him. For some reason you were treated differently than everyone else in his life.

"Do you have something in mind for this visit, Billy?" He trailed his lips up to you ear, taking the lope in his mouth. The contact made you gasp into his tight embrace.

"Well if Bob isn't home," he kissed behind your ear, "and if you want to-... I don't know. Let loose.”

"I don't know what I want with you Billy, there's so many options," He let out a whiny moan as he kissed behind your other ear. Then spun you around, lifting your chin up to meet his eyes.

"Everyone has the exact love life they want. So if you want to fuck me, Darling..." His hands moved down to squeeze your ass again, making you step on your tiptoes.

"Then take control, tell me exactly what you want me to do. I want to fulfill every fantasy in that gorgeous brain of yours. Mold me to be your perfect distraction." His beautiful blue eyes made you feel weak in the knees, not to mention his musk. Cinnamon, sandalwood, figs and cigarettes; it was so blindingly rich around you and so painfully Billy.

"Well today's your day, Cupcake," He chuckled, rolling his eyes, he secretly liked being called a sweet treat. He pulled your lips up to his, making you want to stand even higher on your toes. The kiss was soft, but full of intention. He licked your bottom lip, you smiled, running your fingers through his silky curls. Opening your mouth against his, tugging on his face to bring him down to you. Moving your hands to his shoulders, removing the leather jacket. You stopped the kiss to nibble on his bottom lip, putting your hand to stop his mouth from touching you further. Trailing to cup him in his pants, he pulled away immediately. Making your cheeks heat up until he spoke with softness.

"No only you tonight," he removed your hand placing it on his hip, speaking breathlessly. You tilted your head in confusion most guys wanted to be touched first, hell even begged.

"I thought you wanted me to take control. I might as well see, just how much I'm getting myself into." Licking your lips, he grabbed your waist, yanking you against him. His vast ocean eyes, rimmed with something darker. You could get much closer than this but not yet, you both wanted to put in the effort to make this moment memorable.

"You're a brat," He winked at you, going for you lips again. Stopping him with you index finger, he kissed it gently before sucking the digit into his mouth. Letting it go with a thigh clenching pop, and a pantie damaging shine of his spit.

"You like the challenge," you replied, creasing your forehead in yearning, "now Hot Stuff, we should move over to a place a little more comfortable."

You pouted, pushing him out of the closet. You made him walk backwards hand on his chest, you turning him so the back of his legs hit the edge right in the middle of your bed. He stayed standing holding your wrist over his heart, it was beating incredibly fast. He didn't look nervous but his body was betraying him, a blush rose in his cheeks. Taking your hands, trailing them down his body you unlaced his shoes. Moving back up his body, you unbutton the shirt. Taking your sweet time, you loved how gelded and toned he looked against the burnt red color. Like a Greek God just for you, he groaned in annoyance at how long you were taking.

"I would love to be dramatic and rip this shirt off your body but it's one of my favorites." His chest now free, he waxed or shaved. All that mattered was he did something to his body hair. His skin was soft and hot to touch, pushing the shirt down his arms. You grab him by his waist, his swollen and ready penis brushing onto your thigh through his jeans. He groaned from the friction, his head hung back in need of release from the constrictive fabric. When you didn't kiss him he closed his eyes, you wanted to surprise him. Instead of kissing his luscious red lips now swollen, you kissed Adam's apple, across his collarbone, then in the center of his sternum. Moving lower and lower till you were eye level with his crotch. He grabbed the back of your head with just your breath grazing the skin of his stomach, admiring how you made him react. Billy wasn't skinny, scrawny, slim, 8 pack or 6 pack, malformed, enormous or having the chubby "Dad" body. Instead he was toned and thick with rich amounts of muscles he worked so hard at, ones that could severely hurt someone.

"Sit down, Cupcake." You ordered, he collapsed on the bed at your command. Huffing as you pushed his torso back further, moving your knees on either side of his hips to straddle his lap. "Take off my shirt," He quickly went to grab it when you stopped his hands below the hem on your front "that would be too easy baby." Dipping a single finger into his mouth once again, he sucked on it before you pulled it out. Wetting his lips with the glossy residue.

"Mouth only, please." Brushing your hair to your back so he could have better access, as it was just long enough to cover your breasts. He put wet kisses on your chest, moving so both straps were down your shoulders with his teeth. Showing the simple black bra that hugged your supple flesh. Kissing down in a line of your stomach his hands raking the fabric of your shorts above your thighs, pressing his hands hard into them. "Permission to change positions Darling."

"As you wish," he pulled your center up as he stood throwing you on the bed, kneeling before you. Running his hands over the waistband of your shorts, he looked up at you with pleading eyes. You bucked your hips in a silent reply to remove them, you had nothing underneath. He helped you step out of them, you closed your legs in embarrassment.

"Are you okay?" He placed a gentle hand on your knee.

"We've talked about this kinda, I haven't-. Been like this with anyone. I'm going to be slightly embarrassed." You laughed at yourself, he straightened to be at eye level with you.

"You have nothing to be embarrassed about, you are the most beautiful creature. I will always do everything in my power to make you feel comfortable for as long as you let me, you will be in control. I am so lucky to be the first man to gaze upon you this, vulnerable." Smiling at eachother, he kissed you before undoing his pants revealing a nice tent and a damp spot starting on the white fabric of his briefs, "It's also not fair that you're the only one mostly naked. I have to finish what you started." Both of you giggling, you take your tank top the rest of the way off your body, tossing it to the floor. He takes his place on his knees again, placing both hands at the apex of your thighs spreading them so he could crouch between your legs. You sucked in a harsh breath, when he blew air on your dripping core. Eyes fixated trying to gage his moments, the corner of his mouth lifted. "What do you want?"

"I want you to touch me Billy." He brought his mouth to your core, hot breathes making you squirm in his grasp. His thumb came along the apex of your thigh, dipping towards the center of your puffy lips. Spreading them, you shook in a tight breath at the small amount of contact he was giving you. Crazed about the circles his other hand was making on your inner thigh as he studied your movements. He face came down, tongue out to lick along your folds. Running the length of your pussy in preparation of sucking on your clit, you moaned at the tension. "Oh my god," with a pop from his mouth, his head came up for air looking into your deep eyes. His pupils blown impossibly widener than before, when you were in the closet.

"That's right Darling, pray to me." He held your legs open with his arms, one hand placed towards the top of your heat. Lightly pushing against your lower abdomen, the other came down tracing lazy circles on your clit while his tongue licks at your entrance.

"God Billy please, more." moving the hand away from your clit, laughing in between your legs the vibrations sent shivers up your spine.

"So greedy, doll. Lets see how much you can take." Spreading you wider he slowly pushes a finger in, curving it. Moving it in and out to find that perfect soft spot inside you. You buck your hips when he brushes against it, gasping, throwing your head back to lay fully on the bed. His mouth licks up you,

“God you taste so good, so sweet.” his words muffled beginning to suck on your oh so sensitive bundle of nerves. You whimpered his name, a string inside you pulling tightly. So close to snapping, he was beautiful when devouring you. Hair in disarray, chin covered in your slick, making inhuman nosies as he devoured your centre. Trying to catch a breath as he keeps his tongue on your clit, adding another finger inside you. Your hands find his hair, pulling slightly he groans into your pussy. It sends you over the edge, he grips hard onto your stomach pushing you down while you twitch against him, even sliding a third practiced finger in you. Riding out your high on his face, his pace not faltering enough for you. You sit up pulling his face back from over stimulation, his face glosses with your juices. His smile was wicked, pulling his fingers out of you, licking them clean, the sight made you burn for it all over again.

"I've been waiting so long to do that, for you. Only for your pretty pussy.” Hands still tangled in his curls, you pulled roughly causing him to moan into your planted kiss. Exploring his mouth wildly tasting yourself all over his tongue, his hands move up to your breasts still covered by your black bra. Squeezing them in the cups, making your tongue stumble as you moaned at the touch. Teeth clashed, you both fought passionately for dominance making your lips inflame. Hands moving along chests, he still knelt on the floor. You pulled his chest to press against your waist, until he had to come up for air. When he did you took the opportunity to kiss where his jaw almost ended, right below his ear. He moaned your name wrapping a hand around your back, he unclamped your bra with one quick pinch the other lowered to cup your ass. You continued to leave your love marks on him, down his neck sucking faintly at the taut skin. When you got to his shoulder you bit him, he sucked in a breath growling at the pain in your ear. You gently licked and sucked on it to go away, just like he had with you countless other times you had left things as just heated kisses in the Camero. Though you hadn't drawn blood, you just left a large pink mark with some slight teeth indents. "If you keep doing that, I won't be able to control myself." you kissed your way up to his ear again, this time taking the lobe in your mouth pulling it with your teeth. He moaned your name again, trying to push your bra off your shoulders.

"Maybe that's exactly what I want you to do, Cupcake." Your voice was harsh and gravelly after gasping for him so much. His hands grabbed your waist lifting you up further onto the bed with his brute strength. It made you gasp, he adjusted himself in his boxers towering over you and over the bed, you teased him by slowly taking your bra off. Tossing it to where he stood, he was drunk off your image fully naked in front of him. He could cum right there, but he had to stay strong. He grabbed your leg, placing one of his knees on the foot of the bed. “I worship you.” He started kissing you by the ankle, moving his way up and onto the bed. Not being able to do anything with your hands you ran them through your hair before propping yourself on your elbows. It made him mad so he grabbed your ankles pulling your core to hit his knee. It made you yelp with pleasure, starting his kisses from the ankle all over again. He removed his knee, setting your leg down to kiss your thighs, your clit and moving up your stomach. He put his knee back when he made it to your breasts, he placed one arm near your head to steady him as he took a nipple into his mouth. The other hand moving up from your hip to the other breast kneading it with his athleticly calloused hand. You tried to latch your hand into his hair again, but he took both hands with his weight barring arm.

“Your breasts are beautiful, so pretty and plump for me.” Letting himself lean completely onto the bed, raising your wrists above your head and holding them there.

“Billy please.” you begged for him. His bulge replacing his knee pushing completely against your heat, you began to grind your hips against the fabric that separated your skin craving friction again. He bit down on your nipple, throwing your head back in pain. He let go of it from his mouth, pushing your hips down with a hand to stop your movement, freeing both of your breasts now "If you keep doing that, you won't have the pleasure of me cumming inside you. You don't want to waste that opportunity now, right?" He looked at you, his blue eyes piercing with lust. The curls around his forehead stuck with a little sweat, you bit your lip and nodded. You couldn't be a brat when he looked into your soul, he pushed his hips to your heat again making you squeak his name. "Use your words, or I will stop everything right here. " He moved his mouth to your ear "I want you to tell me how badly you crave me inside you, I want you to beg me to ruin you. I need to engrave my body into yours until, you pass out from pleasure." Unable to form any coherent thoughts, the only one was Billy-Billy-Billy.

"Oh God Billy, cum in me. Ruin me please." He pushed himself off your chest still holding your hands, grabbing a condom from your nightstand and ripping the wrapper open with his teeth. He threw the wrapper on your stomach, slipping his hand under his waistband to place it on himself. You tried to wiggle your wrists out to help him but he held them firm, tugging his length out of his boxers. You bent your knees, spreading your legs letting them touch the sides of the bed, ankles hooking behind his knees. He stopped, looking up at you.

"You're sure? It could hurt a little at first, but we can stop everything if it is or becomes too much." You kissed him, “I need words babe. Even though your kisses are heavenly.” you huffed, trying to think of words right now.

"I want this more than I can even begin to explain, Billy." He let go of your wrists placing each of your hands on one of his shoulders,

"Squeeze when it starts to hurt." He gently moved himself up and down to collect some of your lubricant then gently sliding, just barely into you. Your eyes shut in anticipation and pain. Squeezing, he waited for you to relax, opening your eyes again. Pushing in a little further before pulling out, going back and forth until you could take all of him. His breathing became heavier, your eyes rolled back into your head. You intertwined your fingers behind his neck, his pace became a little bit faster he put his palm lower on your abdomen pushing to feel himself inside you. The pressure from the outside made your walls tighten against him, he groaned putting his face into the nape of your neck. Slowing down his thrusts kneeling down further pushing his hips deeper into you hitting a soft spot, with each stroke. The intensity making your legs start to shake around his waist.

"Keep going Billy. I-" You whimpered to him, throwing your head back. His hips stuttered, whining into your neck while a wave of heat ran through your body again. Tummy full of butterflies, you ran your nails down his shoulders. You felt him twitch inside you, heat leering the end of him. He jerked his hips a couple more times riding out his high, catching his breath placing a wet kiss on your neck he pulled out with a hiss. Sitting up straight he removed the condom tying it before tossing it in the trash next to your bed. Tucking himself back into his boxers, before he leant back down over you. Kissing you softly "I'll be right back." He crawled off your bed, going into the bathroom. You rolled onto your stomach waiting for him, he brought back a washcloth. Turning you over, he brought it between your legs. Wiping up the small amount of blood and any other residue from your physical endeavors. Admiring the trail of marks he had left down your body, he grabbed his shirt behind your head as he tossed the cloth to the ground. Moving you onto his sweat gleaming chest while he crawled towards the top of your bed. Scooting until his back was against the headboard, you both were giggling like children with brand new toys. You moved your waist to straddle him. He put your arms through the holes of his shirt and began buttoning it. After it was mostly closed, he bent his knees so his feet were flat on the bed. And you were forced once again to be fully pressed against his chest.

"Be careful California, this is how we started that little situation."

"Little?" He furrowed his eyebrows.

"No, it was very, very, verrryyy big. Strong, warm, phenomenally god like." You kissed him after each admirmation.

"That's my girl," He rubbed your noses together, relishing in the bliss of your presence in a new and profound way. God was he lucky, but not as lucky as you were to see this vulnerable side of him.

"You could call it comically oversized." He smacked your ass, you laughed into his neck. Holding each other for a minute, his hands resting low on your hips. You had nothing but a shirt on and he had nothing but his boxers, you awkwardly completed each other. "Do you want too… I don’t know, maybe shower with me?"

“I don’t know anyone in the world strong enough to refuse that.” you laughed with him again, kissing the top of his nose before getting off the bed. He watched as you turned and slowly brought his shirt up from your body. Tossing it to him, covering his face briefly as he fought to tear it away, not blocking his view. Racing to follow your running frame into the bathroom. It was going to be a fun night.

Writer: Miss

Personal blog: @ebaylee422

Requests: Open

#billy hargove x reader #billy hargrove smut #one shot #stranger things smut #billy hargrove x newby!reader #billy hargrove x afab reader #aftercare #first time #billy hargrove #billy hargove imagine #reader insert #no minors allowed

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alexandersimpleton · 6 months

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Hello, I suddenly have HC that not fleshing out yet that I wonder what your personal thought is.. What if time travel exist in CPC AU, and if Frederick get chance to rewind time (I love time fix troupe) - what exact time that he could back to the past, and how he'll do differently?? Personally I think to make it happen we'll have curse of time rewind, and I find it'll interesting if Frederick turning back in time when he wakes up after the day he's meeting the Pastel Princesses for the first time.

(Time fix troupe is one of popular AU troupe but I haven't see CPC with that theme yet!)

Well, I think it'd be neat for him to wake up the morning of, rather than after. That way he could do it all over again, and there'd be a lot more divergence of cannon and potential for interesting plotlines. One thing that's been kinda squirming in my mind lately is what Frederick thinks he should have done instead of calling Gwen ugly. The CPC likely doesn't think this, but the could have accidently implied that Frederick shouldn't have done anything, despite the fact the Prez actively regrets doing so. Frederick more likely than not agrees with that notion too.

Especially if time rewound in the dungeon, it'd be cool to explore Frederick's extremely fragile mental state in this sort of situation where he can actually do it all again, and do the self-destructive things that he wished he had done for people.

Also, in the discord, you were talking about drawbacks. One cool one would be that Frederick felt all the emotions that he was feeling at the time, rather than the ones he would now. At the start of the rewind, he's still terrified of Gwen, and wants to get away from her. But still, he hunkers down, and for es himself to suck it up. To do all these romantic things with someone who he wants with all his heart to get away from, not to be left alone with, not to touch him. When Frederick ends up telling one of the CPC them about these feeling (eventually) Frederick has a long talk about consent.

Another thing is, Frederick seeing that his brothers maybe weren't that nice. If you see the world through rose-tinted glasses, red flags will just look like flags and a that. Now that he's separated from their gaslighting and not craving their affection anymore, Frederick sees how cruel they really were. Or, well, how cruel Blaine really was. He kinda opens up to Lance early because he notices his brother's (singular) genuine love for him. But anyways, how Blaine was treating him kind of reminded him of how Prez described Whitney. While Frederick knew that Whitney got redeemed, what he did was still talked about like it was horrible. And, Frederick realized, it was horrible. His emotions weren't entitlement, they were just self worth that had been slowly broken down by everyone.

And then, he confronts CPC about it, and they completely agree. Frederick is.. quite surprised. Not even a grumbling or a protest.

They agreed that, hearing what Frederick said, he was most definitely being gaslit, and what they said in that timeline was awful. Even if that timeline had him doing something awful to Gwen, gaslighting him into going back to an abuser, no matter the type of relationship, is awful.

Oh yeah, and the CPC and Frederick all go confront Leland at some point. As cool as it would be to see this, I more prefer character driven plots (especially ones I've been brain-rotting about for like a year), so I don't have much to say on it. Seeing Frederick's confront his father would be cool tho.

Also, maybe Frederick ends up telling the CPC (or just Whitney) about his trauma. He hasn't told anyone, and at this rate isn't going to. I don't know much about this stuff, but I feel like having a trigger word for trauma so bad that just seeing an object associated with the trigger word can cause flashbacks, and then not telling anyone about it, can only lead to bad things. But yeah, Whitney talks to Frederick about his trauma,and how he's not the only one having these feelings, and he's not alone, yada yada. He has a bonding moment with Nell, Saffron moves the sunflowers in his garden to a more out-of-the-way location, etc.

So yeh. Time travel

#cursed princess club #cpc frederick #time travel #time travel fix it #might reblog this if i think of anything else #most of this is off the top of my head

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clownkiwi · 1 year

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alright sonic prime thoughts (spoilers ahead)

OH MAN WHERE DO I EVEN START????? i didnt expect the bad future world to be like. the main backdrop and motivator for the plot, i thought we were gonna get like. one or two episodes at most to take place in the bad future world. and the rest of the episodes would've taken place in different universes and just be episodic. i didnt expect there'd be an actual story going on throughout this whole show!!!

AND HOLY SHIT, THE BAD FUTURE WORLD. i did not expect for it to get this dark in a modern sonic product approved by sega. the most tragic part about this world, beyond nines (tails) whole deal and relationship with sonic and where it went, was with rusty rose (amy). i knew she'd be roboticized, but i'd never guess she'd stay the villain. i'd assume from the advertising that she'd be on sonic's side the whole time, but ig it was only because nine hacked her to join sonic's side for a whole episode or two??? hell, i didn't expect amy's character to get so many antagonistic roles for like. a good half of these universes for sonic to hop into. she's sonic's bestie!!!!! i did NOT expect to see the worst happen to her, im pleasantly surprised.

i think the most. darkest thing i've ever seen was in the first/second episode when sonic asks rusty "do you even have a heart???" and rusty responds "yes. i do" and she opens up her chest and you see a barely breathing, dying flicky in there like. HOLY SHIT. i did NOT expect for this show to get so dark. and for what??? a kids show??? if i were like. 5 or 6 and a huge sonic fan, this defo would've scared me shitless (even more dark that you later find out. amy had this EXACT SAME FLICKY IN THE NORMAL UNIVERSE & JUNGLE UNIVERSE AS HER PET, LIKE. FUCK, MAN)

they made tails character and relationship with sonic so much more interesting through nine, like. Finally, a show that actually takes a look at sonic more interpersonal relationships and realistically tests them to their core, especially since nine's not keen for friendship or getting along with others. and he was willing to give it another try and even help his new friend sonic. but after he shows him a dark world that's a cold, empty slate and wants to start it over, but sonic tells him that he has to go save his bad future world pals, nine. doesnt actually go with sonic. tails always follows sonic, through thick and thin, but this is the first time i remember that. he says no. nine still wants to live and make a world safe from the chaos council and be friends with sonic, but sonic's deterministic and heroic to save people that don't even know him all that well (even if they look familiar to his other friends). which is in sonic's good spirit, but nine barely knows these people. yes, it's the right thing to do to save them, but what would they give him in return??? he's not sonic, someone who he personally helped after being told that he saved him first in an alternate universe. so, i thought this was all very interesting

speaking of, the chaos council is so much fun. i dont think they are related by familiar relations, i just think mr dr eggman time traveled and picked up versions of himself from different points in his time, or he just. cloned them, so he wouldn't be alone when he rules sonic's world. i especially love the extremely violent baby and the edgy gamer kid eggmen, i thought the old man eggman &. japanese culture enjoyer eggman were pretty fun additions too

i'll be honest, while i'm glad this show finally gave tons of stuff for tails & amy & big to do, i felt like. what they did with knuckles wasnt too particularly strong??? we either get Serious Protector of Angel Island Knuckles or boom!knuckles again. and while i love boom!knucks & Serious Knucks, i would've loved a more strong characterization of him that actually developed as a result of sonic, because i thought that was the direction the show was taking (first one focused on tails, then one focused on amy). but instead they made knuckles the main one for the pirate world. and i like pirate knuckles enough. ig i thought him getting obsessed over a gem like halfway through the pirate world was pretty rushed and not given too much time even if it did take up two half-hour episodes. and rogue, hasn't really been given too much to do, despite appearing in every alternate universe at this point. maybe in season 2 or 3 she gets her whole own arc with sonic

i was also surprised we didn't see shadow at all in any of these alternate universes, like. at first i liked the idea that shadow never showed up in the bad future world, because the eggmen ruled unopposed, that they never needed to wake him up from his chamber for a last minute resort. that novelty sort of rolled off when he. never appeared in any of the alternate universes??? even tho this version of shadow was simply established as sonic's rival, as he is in fact the reason sonic was so late to catch up with his buds in the inciting incident that lead to all of this. in fact, shadow only showed up in flashbacks or as holograms that followed sonic whenever he sonic boomed. he didn't even show up in full again until the last episode on a cliffhanger. so, hopefully we'll see alternate universe versions of shadow following this. or just more shadow in season 2, where he's more relevant to the plot than. being indirectly responsible for the inciting incident

beyond that, i just really enjoyed these batches of episodes that dropped, and i really do hope we get more and see how this story ends (hopefully in a satisfying way)

#rubys clown thoughts #sonic prime spoilers #i may have to rewatch these episodes again soon but for now. yea i liked this

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fannish-karmiya · 3 years

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Wei Wuxian’s Position in the Jiang Household

Fandom tends to mischaracterise Wei Wuxian’s position in the Jiang family greatly. A lot of people project more modern ideas about adoption onto his relationship with the Jiang siblings, and write as if he really is their sibling and only Yu Ziyuan’s abusive nature gets in the way of their bond.

This strikes me as a bit misguided. While adoption was practised in ancient China, it was mainly for the purpose of obtaining a male heir in the absence of one, or obtaining more daughters to marry off for alliances. Jiang Fengmian had no reason to adopt Wei Wuxian into the main family, and he didn’t. Wei Wuxian’s position in the household is far more nebulous than that, and honestly it’s hard to find an exact corollary, in Chinese history or in any culture, precisely because it was so messy and ill-defined.

A Companion to Upper Class Children

Wei Wuxian is the son of a servant of Yunmeng Jiang; it’s notable that Wei Changze is always referred to this way, rather than as a disciple. Wei Changze wound up leaving the sect in order to marry Cangse Sanren, and Jiang Fengmian considered them dear enough friends that when he heard they passed away, he spent years searching for their orphaned son. He wound up finding Wei Wuxian on the streets of Yiling and brought him home as his ward.

Wei WuXian was taken home by Jiang FengMian when he was nine.

Most memories from back then were already blurred. Yet, Jin Ling’s mother, Jiang YanLi, remembered all of them, and even told him quite a few.

She said that, after his father heard of the news that his parents both died in battle, he had always dedicated himself to finding the child that these past friends had left behind. After searching for a while, he finally found the child in Yiling.

(Chapter 24, Exiled Rebels translation)

It’s clear from the start that beyond this sense of obligation to his old friends, Jiang Fengmian also had a role set out for Wei Wuxian: he wanted him to be a companion to his children, and Jiang Cheng in particular.

He encourages a friendship between them, insisting on a sleepover between the two a week into Wei Wuxian’s stay.

On the second day, Jiang Cheng’s puppies were given to someone else.

This angered Jiang Cheng so much that he threw a big tantrum. No matter how much Jiang FengMian comforted him gently, telling him that they should ‘be good friends’, he refused to talk to Wei WuXian. Quite a few days later, Jiang Cheng’s attitude softened. Jiang FengMian wanted to strike while the iron was still hot, so he told Wei WuXian to sleep in the same room as him, hoping that they’d grow fonder of each other.

[...]

That night, Jiang Cheng locked Wei WuXian outside his room, refusing to let him in.

[...]

Wei WuXian waited outside for a long time. When the door opened, before the joy could spread onto his face, he was bombarded with a pile of things being thrown out. The door banged shut again.

Jiang Cheng told him from inside, “Go sleep somewhere else! This is my room! You’re even gonna steal my room?!”

[...]

Standing outside, as Wei WuXian heard that dogs would come bite him, fear immediately bubbled within him. Twisting his fingers, he hurried, “I’ll go, I’ll go. Don’t call the dogs!”

Dragging behind him the sheets and blanket that were thrown outside, he ran out the hall. Having only arrived at Lotus Pier for a short period of time, he didn’t dare jump around yet. Every day, he obediently holed up in the places that Jiang FengMian told him to stay at. He didn’t even know where his room was, much less have the courage to knock on other people’s doors, scared that it’d disturb someone’s dreams.

(Chapter 71, Exiled Rebels translation)

After Jiang Cheng is worried about getting in trouble, he goes to Jiang Yanli for help, and she searches for Wei Wuxian.

But this was the first pair of shoes that Jiang FengMian bought him. Wei WuXian was too embarrassed to make him go out of his way to buy another pair, and so he said that they weren’t too big. Jiang YanLi helped him into his shoe and pressed the hollow tip, “It is a bit big. I’ll fix it for you when we get back.”

Hearing this, Wei WuXian felt somewhat uneasy, as if he did something wrong again.

Living in other people’s homes, the worst that could happen was to make trouble for the hosts.

Jiang YanLi put him onto her back and began to walk back, wobbling in her steps as she spoke, “A-Ying, no matter what A-Cheng said to you, don’t bother about him. He doesn’t have a good temper, so he’s always home playing with himself. Those puppies were his favorites. Dad sent them away, and so he’s feeling upset. He’s actually really happy that somebody’s here to be with him.”

(Chapter 71, Exiled Rebels translation)

Later, Wei Wuxian offers to cover for him, saying simply that he ran outside by himself because he was scared. In this one case it feels like a genuine instance of children showing solidarity and covering for each other’s little misbehaviours. But it also follows a pattern of Wei Wuxian doing this and making excuses, time and time again, for Jiang Cheng. I wonder if on some level, he already knew that his role in the household was in part to be a companion-servant to Jiang Cheng.

Wei Wuxian normally never puts up with people treating him poorly or being arrogant; he constantly bites his tongue when Jiang Cheng does so around him. While they study at Cloud Recesses, Jiang Cheng frequently insults Wei Wuxian, who always just smiles and laughs it off.

Jiang Cheng humphed, “Him? He wakes at nine in the morning and sleeps at one during the night. When he wakes up, he doesn’t practice his sword or meditate; he goes boating, swims around, picks lotus seedpods, and hunts for pheasants.”

Wei WuXian replied, “No matter how much pheasants I hunt, I’m still number one.”

(Chapter 13, Exiled Rebels translation)

Jiang Cheng scolded with a darkened expression, “What are you proud of?! What is there to be proud of with this?! Do you think that it’s a glorious thing to be told by someone to get lost? You bring so much shame upon our sect!”

(Chapter 16, Exiled Rebels translation)

We never see Wei Wuxian excusing this sort of behaviour from any other character; he has no problem scolding Jin Ling for his arrogant attitude and telling him that he shouldn’t be imitating his uncle, after all! It’s only where Jiang Cheng is concerned that he does this, and honestly, even then he seems to be quite aware that Jiang Cheng’s behaviour is wrong; he simply accepts on some level that it’s his role in the household to put up with it.

He actually does, very gently, try to guide Jiang Cheng at times. In Lotus Seed Pods, for example, he tries to give Jiang Cheng advice on how to flirt with some of the maidens in Yunmeng and make friends:

Wei WuXian threw the seed pods toward the shore. It was a far distance, but they landed lightly in the women’s hands. He grabbed a few more and stuffed them into Jiang Cheng’s arms, shoving, “What are you doing, just standing there? Hurry up.”

After a few shoves, Jiang Cheng could only accept them, “Hurry up and do what?”

Wei WuXian, “You ate the watermelon too, so you also have to return the gift, don’t you? Here, here, don’t be embarrassed. Start throwing, start throwing.”

Jiang Cheng snorted again, “You must be joking. What’s there to be embarrassed about?” Whatever he said, however, even after all of the shidi began to throw seed pods, he still didn’t start to move. Wei WuXian urged, “Then throw some! If you throw some this time, next time you can ask them if the seed pods tasted good, and you’ll be able to make conversation again!”

[...]

Jiang Cheng was just about to throw one when he realized how shameless it was the moment he heard it. He peeled a seed pod and ate it by himself.

[...]

After a while of laughter, he turned around and looked at Jiang Cheng, who was sitting at the front of the boat eating seed pods with a long face. His smile gradually disappeared as he sighed, “Well, what an unteachable child.”

Jiang Cheng fumed, “So what if I want to eat alone?”

Wei WuXian, “Look at you, Jiang Cheng. Nevermind. You’re hopeless. Just wait to eat alone your whole life!”

(Chapter 125, Lotus Seed Pod, Exiled Rebels translation)

He even sighs rather disappointedly when Jiang Cheng refuses to take the hint; he knows that Jiang Cheng’s sullen behaviour is going to make him miserable down the line, but all of his gentle efforts to nudge him in a better direction have failed.

He also speaks with great awareness of Jiang Cheng’s flaws after the fight in the ancestral hall:

Wei WuXian reached out with one hand and massaged his chest, as if trying to break up the pent-up feeling inside his heart. A moment later, he blurted, “I knew Jiang Cheng wouldn’t have let us go so easily. That brat… How could this be?!”

[...]

Wei WuXian’s eyelids throbbed, “Every one of them. The brat’s been like this ever since he was young.He’ll say anything when he’s angry, no matter how bad it is. He gives up on all grace and discipline whatsoever. As long as it’d annoy whomever he’s against, he’d say it no matter what terrible insults he uses. After all these years, he hasn’t gotten better at all. Please don’t take it to heart.”

(Chapter 90, Exiled Rebels translation)

This is so interesting to me, because it really makes it clear that Wei Wuxian has always been aware of these flaws of Jiang Cheng’s. He hasn’t been viewing him through rose-coloured lenses or making excuses for him because he’s ‘family’. He puts up with Jiang Cheng’s behaviour because being his companion is one of his duties in the Jiang household. It may never have been directly stated, but there seems to be some unspoken understanding to this effect.

I honestly don’t know if there is any official role in history (in any culture, not just China) which perfectly correlates to this. In China a lady’s maid was expected to also be a close friend and companion to her mistress (in canon, see Bicao to Qin-furen and Yinzhu and Jinzhu to Yu-furen). In Europe an upper class woman would hire a lady’s companion, a woman from the lower fringes of the gentry who would serve as her companion in exchange for financial support.

I don’t know of any version of this role which involves two men. In general, this sort of role existed because upper class women were confined to the household by and large, and had very limited social spheres. Men, meanwhile, had much greater ability to meet with their peers and make friends. I almost feel like Wei Wuxian wound up being shoved into this role simply because even as a child Jiang Cheng was so unsociable that Jiang Fengmian didn’t know what else to do!

Wei Wuxian also at least once steps in and starts a fight in place of Jiang Cheng (essentially taking the fall for him). He does this when Jin Zixuan speaks disparagingly of Jiang Yanli at Cloud Recesses:

Jin ZiXuan asked in reply, “Why don’t you ask me how on Earth can I be satisfied with her?”

Jiang Cheng instantly stood up.

Pushing him to the side, Wei WuXian walked in front of him and sneered, “You sure think that you’re pretty satisfying, don’t you? Where did you get the guts to be all choosy here?”

[...]

Wei WuXian sighed, “… It’d be nice if shijie came. It’s fortunate that you didn’t hit him.”

Jiang Cheng, “I was going to. If you didn’t push me, the other side of Jin ZiXuan’s face would also be ruined.”

(Chapter 18, Exiled Rebels translation)

It’s also very notable that Wei Wuxian is never shown having friends outside of Jiang Cheng’s social circle, despite what an outgoing and friendly person he is. Any time he expresses interest in someone for himself, as with Lan Wangji, Jiang Cheng tries to nip it in the bud. Being unable to deter Wei Wuxian from Lan Wangji directly, Jiang Cheng instead tries to drive a wedge between them, constantly telling Wei Wuxian that Lan Wangji hates him.

“Yeah,” Nie HuaiSang spoke, “It looks like he really hates you, Wei-xiong. Lan WangJi usually… No, he never does something so impolite.”

Wei WuXian, “He hates me already? I wanted to apologize to him.”

Jiang Cheng sneered, “Apologizing now? Too late! Like his uncle, he surely thinks that you are evil and unruly to the core, and didn’t bother to pay you any attention.”

(Chapter 14, Exiled Rebels translation)

Jiang Cheng pulled him even closer, “It’s not as if you’re familiar with him! Don’t you see how much he hates you? You’re going to carry him? He probably doesn’t even want you a step closer to him.”

(Chapter 52, Exiled Rebels translation)

He even directly orders Wei Wuxian not to invite Lan Wangji to come visit him at Lotus Pier during the Lotus Seed Pod extra.

Wei WuXian, “Why are you so upset? My watermelon almost flew away! I was just being polite. Of course he wouldn’t come. Have you ever heard of him go anywhere by himself to have fun?”

Jiang Cheng had on a stern expression, “Let’s make this clear. I don’t want him to come, anyhow. Don’t invite him.”

(Chapter 125, Lotus Seed Pod, Exiled Rebels translation)

It’s not only Lan Wangji he tries to steer Wei Wuxian away from; he also interrupts his conversation with Wen Ning at the archery competition:

Wen QiongLin was probably one of Wen Clan’s disciples furthest in bloodline. His status was neither high nor low, yet his personality was timid. He didn’t dare do anything and even his speech stuttered. Through much practice, he had finally conjured up the courage to enter the competition, but he blew it because he was too nervous. If he didn’t receive the right guidance, perhaps the boy would hide his true self more and more from now on and never dare to perform in front of other people again. Wei WuXian encouraged him a couple of times and touched on a few areas of growth, correcting some miniscule problems that he had when he was shooting in the garden. Wen QiongLin listened so attentively that he didn’t even turn his eyes away, nodding uncontrollably.

Jiang Cheng, “Where did you find so much nonsense? The competition is starting soon. Get into the arena right now!”

Wei WuXian spoke to Wen QiongLin in a serious tone, “I’ll be off to the competition now. Later, you can see how I shoot when I’m in the arena…”

Jiang Cheng dragged him away, short of patience. He spat as he dragged, “See how you shoot? Do you think that you’re a model or something?!”

(Chapter 59, Exiled Rebels translation)

Even when it comes to Wei Wuxian’s friendly flirtation with Mianmian, Jiang Cheng has something to say and tries to deter him from her:

Jiang Cheng, “The one that MianMian gave you? I didn’t.”

Wei WuXian exclaimed his regret, “I’ll find her for another one later.”

Jiang Cheng frowned, “You’re at it again. You don’t really like her, do you? The girl does look fine, but it’s obvious that she doesn’t have much background. Maybe she isn’t even a disciple. She seems like the daughter of a servant.”

Wei WuXian, “What’s wrong with servants? I’m also the son of a servant, aren’t I?”

Jiang Cheng, “How can you compare to her? Whose servant is like you, having your master peel lotus seeds for you and boil you soup. I didn’t even get to have some!”

(Chapter 56, Exiled Rebels translation)

Jiang Cheng really does seem to view Wei Wuxian in a very proprietary light; he’s not allowed to have any friendships which don’t exist under Jiang Cheng’s direct control.

The idea that Wei Wuxian was meant to be Jiang Cheng’s servant-friend is reinforced at its darkest when Lotus Pier falls: both Yu Ziyuan and Jiang Fengmian’s last words to Wei Wuxian are an instruction to protect Jiang Cheng.

One hand holding him, Madam Yu grabbed Wei WuXian’s lapels with her other hand as though to strangle him to death. She spoke through clenched teeth, “… You damn little brat! I hate you! I hate you more than anything else! Look at what our sect has gone through for your sake!”

[...]

Madam Yu, “Don’t make such a fuss. It’ll loosen up when you’re somewhere safe. If anyone attacks you on the journey, it’ll protect you as well. Don’t come back. Go to Meishan straight away and find your sister!”

After she finished, she turned to Wei WuXian and pointed at him, “Wei Ying! Listen to me! Protect Jiang Cheng, protect him even if you die, do you understand?!”

[...]

Jiang FengMian stared into his eyes. Suddenly, he reached out. Only after pausing in the air did he finally touch Jiang Cheng’s head, slowly, “A-Cheng, be well.”

Wei WuXian, “Uncle Jiang, if anything happens to you, he won’t be well.”

Jiang FengMian turned his eyes to him, “A-Ying, A-Cheng… you must look after him.”

(Chapter 58, Exiled Rebels translation)

Even Jiang Fengmian, who supposedly favoured Wei Wuxian, only gives him instructions as pertains to his own son; he doesn’t spare a single last word for Wei Wuxian himself.

A Lower Status Family Member

It wasn’t uncommon throughout human history, across many cultures, for wealthy families to take in relatives who were orphaned or had otherwise fallen on hard times. They tended to have a lower status than the main family; they lived with them and were still a part of their social sphere, but were not quite equal, either. The English term for this is ‘poor relation’.

Obviously, Wei Wuxian isn’t actually a blood relative at all. But his position in the Jiang household definitely has some similarities. He lives in the main house, eats meals with the family, attends school with the son... He is even on some conditional levels accepted into the gentry of cultivation society. But he isn’t a full equal member of the family, either.

The fact that he’s Jiang Fengmian’s ward, not a blood relative or adopted into the main family, puts him at even more of a disadvantage. It seems that Jiang Fengmian paid for all of Wei Wuxian’s expenses:

Wei WuXian took a bite, “Back then, I didn’t even have to pay when I ate at the dock. I grabbed whatever I wanted, ate whatever I wanted; ran after I grabbed, walked as I ate. A month later, the vendor would get the reimbursement from Uncle Jiang.”

(Chapter 86, Exiled Rebels translation)

While this is a bit of conjecture, I gather that he was given access to family money as if he was part of the clan, and could just charge Yunmeng Jiang whenever he shopped in Lotus Pier. Which is great so long as Wei Wuxian is accepted in Yunmeng Jiang...but as we see during the Burial Mounds settlement period, the moment that acceptance fades, Wei Wuxian is left out in the cold without a single coin. And because he isn’t a member of the family, it’s a far easier matter for him to be thrown aside, as he was when Jiang Cheng grew angry with him over his decision to protect the Wens.

Of course, Chinese families traditionally did share their wealth, and still do nowadays. Ideally, in a loving family, this is a positive and means they all support each other; but when that isn’t the case, it leaves the victims of abuse vulnerable.

In Wei Wuxian’s case, he has some of the benefits of being a member of the Jiang clan, without ever actually being a member. He can be cast aside at any time, and he is never afforded the same respect by wider cultivation society which an inner clan member would have.

I don’t believe the novel ever directly addresses Wei Wuxian’s acceptance into the guest lectures at Cloud Recesses in this light, but the donghua actually has a very interesting little exchange about it which takes place between Nie Huaisang and a relative of his:

“Wei-xiong is just a disciple from Yunmeng. Why could he come to Gusu to study?”

“Wei-xiong is the son of Jiang-zongzhu’s old friend. He has been treated as their own son.”

“Oh, I see. That explains why they don’t look like master and servant, they seem like brothers.”

(MDZS Donghua, Episode 3, Guodong Subs)

Wei Wuxian was only allowed to attend these lectures, which seem to mainly be for sect heirs and inner clan members, on the grace of being Jiang Fengmian’s ward (and probably to accompany Jiang Cheng). While this exchange is not from the book, we never do see or hear about any of the other students being outer disciples rather than members of the main clan. Here’s what the novel had to say about it:

In that year, aside from the YunmengJiang Sect, there were also the young masters from other clans, sent to study here from parents who heard of the reputation. The young masters were all around fifteen or sixteen. Because the sects all knew the others, although they weren’t close, they had seen others’ faces before. It was widely known that, although Wei WuXian’s surname was not Jiang, he was the leading disciple of the sect leader of the YunmengJiang Sect—Jiang FengMian, and also the son of his friend who had passed away. In fact, the sect leader regarded him as his own child. This, along with how youths were not as concerned with status and ancestry as elders, they were soon friends. Only a few sentences passed, and everyone started to call others older brothers or younger brothers.

(Chapter 13, Exiled Rebels translation)

And Wei Wuxian isn’t treated as an equal at school, either; when he and his friends get up to mischief, he’s frequently the only one punished. Nie Huaisang even notes that Lan Qiren seems to be far harder on him than the other students:

Nie HuaiSang spoke, “Why does it seem like old man Lan is especially strict towards you? He always directs his scoldings at you.”

(Chapter 14, Exiled Rebels translation)

And we see Wei Wuxian being the sole one punished out of a group taken for granted by his friends multiple times:

As a result of cheating notes flying everywhere in the air, Lan WangJi suddenly attacked during the test, and caught a few initiators of the commotion. Lan QiRen exploded with anger, writing letters to the prominent clans to tell on them. He loathed Wei WuXian—in the beginning, although these disciples could hardly sit still, at least nobody started anything, and their buttocks were able to stick to their legs. However, now that Wei Ying came, the originally spineless brats were influenced by his encouragement, venturing out at night and drinking alcohol however they pleased. The unhealthy practices grew greater and greater. As he had expected, Wei Ying was one of the biggest threats to humanity!

Jiang FengMian replied, “Ying has always been like this. Please take care to discipline him, Mr. Lan.”

And so, Wei WuXian was punished again.

(Chapter 14, Exiled Rebels translation)

The boys were all cheating, but Wei Wuxian is the one punished most severely. This happens when he's caught sneaking alcohol, too (though to be fair to Lan Wangji, he probably was only punishing him, and himself alongside him, for being outside after curfew when he threw them off the wall).

Of course, Jiang Cheng didn’t dare to say that Wei WuXian was at fault. Thinking back, it was them who urged Wei WuXian to buy liquor. Each and every one of them should have been punished. He could only speak in a vague way, “It’s fine, it’s fine; it’s not that serious! He can walk. Wei WuXian, why are you still up there?!”

(Chapter 18, Exiled Rebels translation)

It’s not entirely unreasonable for the one who gets caught to take the punishment (what’s he going to do, rat his friends out?) but their ready acceptance of this does fit into a pattern.

Jiang Cheng’s top was tied at his waist. Hearing his mother’s chastise, he hastily put it over his head. Madam Yu scolded again, “And you boys! Can’t you see that A-Li’s here? Who taught you brats to dress like this in front of a girl!?”

Of course, it was needless to think who led the group. Thus, Madam Yu’s next sentence, as usual, was “Wei Ying! Do you want to die!?”

[...]

He could still feel some pain in his back, so he tossed the paddles to someone else, sat down, and felt the stinging piece of flesh, “How unfair. Nobody else was wearing anything, but why was I the only one who got scolded and beaten up?”

Jiang Cheng, “Because you hurt the eye the most with no clothes on, for sure.”

[...]

Everyone nodded. Wei WuXian, “Thanks for the praise, you guys. I’m even starting to feel some goose bumps.”

The shidi, “You’re welcome, Da-Shixiong. You protect us every single time. You deserve even more!”

(Chapter 125, Lotus Seed Pod, Exiled Rebels translation)

While we know that Yu Ziyuan is an abusive person in general, she abuses Wei Wuxian far more harshly than anyone else, even the outer disciples. It’s made clear to us in Lotus Seed Pods that she whips him regularly over minor infractions:

Madam Yu was even angrier, “How dare you run! Come back right now and kneel!” As she spoke, she let loose her whip with a flip of her wrist. Wei WuXian felt a searing pain slash across his back. He loudly exclaimed, “Ow!” And almost tripped on the ground.

(Chapter 125, Lotus Seed Pod, Exiled Rebels translation)

And that his back is heavily scarred from it:

He felt his back, covered in scars both old and new, and still couldn’t hold back the question he’d be thinking about, “How awfully unfair. Why is it that I’m the only one who gets beaten up, whenever something happens?”

(Chapter 125, Lotus Seed Pod, Exiled Rebels translation)

Rumours about this even made it outside of Lotus Pier; during their visit to the ancestral hall years later, Lan Wangji even states that he heard about some of it:

Lan WangJi had on an expression of understanding, “Kneeling as punishment?”

Wei WuXian mused, “How did you know? That’s right. Madam Yu punished me almost every day.”

Lan WangJi nodded, “I have heard of a few things.”

Wei WuXian, “It’s so famous that even people outside Yunmeng, even you Gusu people know—how could it be ‘a few things’? But, to be honest, in all these years, I’ve never seen a second woman whose temper was as bad as Madam Yu’s. She told me to go to the ancestral hall and kneel no matter how small the matter was. Hahaha…”

(Chapter 87, Exiled Rebels translation)

Wei Wuxian’s lower social standing is definitely a part of why Yu Ziyuan is able to abuse him so terribly and receive little to no censure for it. Everyone at Lotus Pier simply takes it for granted, with the exception of Jiang Yanli who at least does try to deflect her mother when she is angry with Wei Wuxian:

Yet, all of a sudden, someone’s quiet voice drifted by Madam Yu’s ear, “Mom, do you want to eat some watermelon…”

[...]

Jiang YanLi almost cried from her mother’s pinching, mumbling, “Mom, A-Xian and the others were hiding here to relieve the heat and I came here on my own. Don’t blame them… Do… Do you want some watermelon… I don’t know who gave them to us, but it’s really sweet. Eating watermelon in the summer is great for cooling down and quenching thirst. I’ll cut them for you…”

(Chapter 125, Lotus Seed Pod, Exiled Rebels translation)

She both tries to deflect her mother from her anger, and also outright states that Wei Wuxian and the other boys weren’t at fault. Jiang Yanli seems to be the only one at Lotus Pier who ever does this.

After the war, Wei Wuxian attends social events at Jiang Cheng’s side but is never quite treated as an equal, either. See how at the Flower Banquet, Lan Xichen and Nie Mingjue greet Jiang Cheng but not him:

Suddenly, a voice spoke, “Sect Leader Nie, Sect Leader Lan.”

Hearing the familiar voice, Wei WuXian’s heart jumped. Nie MingJue turned around again. Jiang Cheng came over, dressed in purple, hand on his sword.

And the person standing beside Jiang Cheng was none other than Wei WuXian himself.

He saw himself walk with hands behind his back, wearing all black. A flute in the shade of ink stuck to his waist, hanging down with crimson colored tassels. Standing shoulder-to-shoulder with Jiang Cheng, he nodded in this direction to show respect. Attitude slightly arrogant, he took on a profound, disdainful appearance. As Wei WuXian saw the stance of his younger self, the root of his teeth even cringed in soreness. He felt that he really was pretentious, and itched to just beat the hell out of himself.

Lan WangJi also saw Wei WuXian, who stood beside Jiang Cheng. The tip of his brows twitched ever so slightly. Soon afterward, his light-colored eyes returned to where they were, still looking forward in that composed way. Jiang Cheng and Nie MingJue nodded at each other with grave faces. Neither had anything unnecessary to say. After a hasty greeting, the two walked their separate ways. Wei WuXian saw his black-clothed self glance around as he finally saw Lan WangJi. He looked as if he was about to speak before Jiang Cheng came over and stood to his side.

(Chapter 49, Exiled Rebels translation)

They then proceed to talk about him and his lack of a sword behind his back, never having said a word to Wei Wuxian himself:

Nie MingJue’s gaze turned over again, “Why does Wei Ying not carry his sword?”

Carrying one’s sword was like wearing formal attire. In such gatherings, it was a non-negligible indication of etiquette. Those from prominent sects saw it as especially important. Lan WangJi responded in a lukewarm tone, “He had probably forgotten.”

Ning MingJue raised a brow, “He can even forget something like this?”

(Chapter 49, Exiled Rebels translation)

At Phoenix Mountain it also seems that Wei Wuxian is conditionally a member of the gentry, but not treated like an equal. Sometimes there are these more cheerful interactions:

Holding the flower, Lan WangJi seemed to be quite cold. His tone seemed cold as well, “Was it you?”

Wei WuXian immediately denied it, “No, it wasn’t.”

The maidens beside him spoke at once, “Don’t believe him. It was him!”

Wei WuXian, “How could you treat a good person like this? I’m getting angry!”

Giggling, the maidens pulled their reins and went to the formations of their own sects. Lan WangJi lowered the hand that he held the flower with and shook his head. Jiang Cheng spoke, “ZeWu-Jun, HanGuang-Jun, apologies. Don’t pay attention to him.”

Lan XiChen smiled, “That is fine. I will thank Young Master Wei’s kindness behind the flower in place of WangJi.”

(Chapter 69, Exiled Rebels translation)

But then he will be publicly disparaged and it is readily accepted by others. Jin Zixun first starts an argument with him by criticising Wei Wuxian for fighting Jin Zixuan, then turns the topic to Wei Wuxian’s having taken a third of the prey in the hunt.

Jin ZiXun, “Wei, just what what do you mean by going against ZiXuan so many times?”

[...]

Jin ZiXun sneered, “How is it presumptuous? How is any part of you not presumptuous? Today, in such an important hunt involving all of the sects, you really showed off your abilities, didn’t you? One third of the prey have been taken by you. You sure feel pleased, don’t you?”

[...]

He mocked, “But it’s only natural that you don’t think you’re in the wrong. It’s not the first time that Young Master Wei has disregarded the rules. You didn’t wear your sword in both last time’s flower banquet and this time’s hunt. It’s such a grand event, and you care nothing for courtesy. In what regard to you hold us, the people who are present with you?”

[...]

No disciple had ever dared say such lofty words in front of so many people. A moment later, as Jin ZiXun finally regained his composure, he yelled, “Wei WuXian! You’re only the son of a servant—how dare you be so bold!!!”

(Chapters 69-70, Exiled Rebels translation)

Naturally, Jin Zixun is able to weasel out of giving an apology, even though Jiang Yanli demands one. And guess who also takes a third of the prey, but this time without any censure?

Jin GuangYao, “In reality, not only did Young Master Wei keep a third of the prey to himself, our eldest brother has eliminated over half of the fays and the monsters as well.”

Hearing this, Lan XiChen laughed, “That is how Brother is like, after all.”

(Chapter 70, Exiled Rebels translation)

Never a Brother

As I’ve already mentioned, Wei Wuxian was never adopted by Jiang Fengmian, or adopted into the clan in general in even a distant way. And this nebulous ‘we’re letting you live with the main family as a charity, but you aren’t really one of us’ attitude also reflects in his relationship with Jiang Yanli.

I’ve already discussed how Wei Wuxian was more like a companion servant to Jiang Cheng than a brother. It’s also worth noting quickly that neither of them ever refers to the other as a brother. Wei Wuxian refers to Jiang Cheng as his shidi a few times, and Jiang Cheng never even refers to him as his shixiong (because Jiang Cheng views him as his servant, not as even a martial brother, I’d argue).

Only one member of the Jiang family ever does use familial terms to refer to Wei Wuxian: his shijie, Jiang Yanli. At Phoenix Mountain, when Wei Wuxian is being insulted by Jin Zixun, Jiang Yanli stands up and defends him, and states clearly that she considers Wei Wuxian a little brother:

The people who gathered around Jin ZiXun had on the same dark faces as he did. Yet, taking into consideration Jiang YanLi’s background, they didn’t dare talk back to her directly.

Jiang YanLi added, “Besides, hunting is hunting, so why bring the matter of discipline to the table? A-Xian is a disciple of the YunmengJiang Sect. He grew up with my brother and I, and so he’s as close as a brother is to me. Calling him the ‘son of a servant’—I’m sorry, but I won’t accept this. And thus…”

She straightened her back and raised her voice, “I hope that Young Master Jin ZiXun would apologize to Wei WuXian of the YunmengJiang Sect!”

(Chapter 70, Exiled Rebels translation)

It doesn’t come through in the Exiled Rebels translation, but she actually refers to Wei Wuxian as her didi in this scene, not her shidi. She’s trying to draw a line and state that Wei Wuxian is a part of the family. However, no one takes her seriously, and shortly afterwards we see Jin-furen insisting that Jiang Yanli and Wei Wuxian shouldn’t be walking alone together because it would be inappropriate.

Jiang YanLi whispered, “That’s not necessary. I’d like to have a few words with A-Xian. He can walk me back.”

Madam Jin raised her brows, looking Wei WuXian up and down. Her gaze was somewhat cautious, as if she was feeling displeased, “A young man and a young woman—you two can’t stick together all the time if nobody else is present.”

Jiang YanLi, “A-Xian is my younger brother.”

[...]

Wei WuXian lowered his head, “Excuse my absence, Madam Jin.”

He and Jiang YanLi bowed at the same time. As they turned around to leave, Madam Jin grabbed Jiang YanLi’s hand and refused to let her leave.

(Chapter 70, Exiled Rebels translation)

Jin Zixuan also never treats Wei Wuxian the way one might a brother who is still angered with him over his past dismissive treatment of his sister. For example, see their argument at the Flower Banquet:

Before he could see how Lan WangJi reacted, a series of clamor suddenly came from the other end of the base. Wei WuXian heard his own raging shout, “Jin ZiXuan! Don’t you forget about what things you said and what things you did? What do you mean by this, now?!”

Wei WuXian remembered. So it was this time!

On the other side, Jin ZiXuan also fumed, “I was asking Sect Leader Jiang, not you! The one I was asking about was also Maiden Jiang. How is that related to you?!”

[...]

Jin ZiXuan, “Sect Leader Jiang—this is our sect’s flower banquet, and this is your sect’s person! Are you going to look after him or not?!”

[...]

...Jiang Cheng’s voice came, “Wei WuXian, you can just shut your mouth. Young Master Jin, I’m sorry. My sister is doing quite well. Thank you for your concern. We can talk about this next time.”

Wei WuXian laughed coldly, “Next time? There is no next time! Whether or not she’s doing well isn’t any of his business, either! Who does he think he is?”

He turned around and started to leave. Jiang Cheng shouted, “Get back here! Where are you going?”

Wei WuXian waved his hands, “Anywhere is fine! Just don’t let me see that face of his. I never wanted to come, anyway. You can deal with whatever’s here yourself.”

Having been abandoned by Wei WuXian, Jiang Cheng’s face immediately clouded over.

[...]

Jiang Cheng stowed away the clouds on his face, “Don’t mind him. Look at how impolite he is. He’s used to such rude behavior at home.”

He then began to converse with Jin ZiXuan.

(Chapter 49, Exiled Rebels translation)

Jiang Cheng also quietly dismisses the notion of Wei Wuxian as a brother in relation to Jiang Yanli; when they visit to show him her wedding dress and she asks for a courtesy name, Jiang Cheng specifically says:

Jiang Cheng, “The courtesy name of my unborn nephew.”

(Chapter 75, Exiled Rebels translation)

Not our nephew, mine.

Even the disastrous invitation to Jin Ling’s one month celebration is framed as a favour to an old shidi, not a family member:

Jin ZiXun, “Since you’ve heard it from him already, you should know that I can’t wait. Don’t tell me that you’ll disregard your brother’s life for the sake of Sister-in-Law’s shidi?!”

Jin ZiXuan, “You clearly know that I’m not that kind of person! He might not necessarily be the one who cursed you with Hundred Holes either. Why are you so rash? I was the one who invited Wei WuXian to A-Ling’s full-month celebration anyways. If this is the way you do things, where does that leave me? Where does it leave my wife?”

Jin ZiXun raised his voice, “It’s best if he doesn’t attend! What does Wei WuXian think he is—does he deserve to attend our sect’s banquet? Whoever touches him gets nothing but a splash of black! ZiXuan, when you invited him, weren’t you worried that you, Sister-in-Law and A-Ling would receive an irremovable stain for the rest of your lives?!”

(Chapter 76, Exiled Rebels translation)

It’s clear that not only does wider society not consider Wei Wuxian and the Jiangs siblings...they themselves don’t, either. Wei Wuxian, after all, readily accepts that his relationship with them is over after he leaves the sect:

Before they parted, Jiang Cheng spoke, “We won’t see you off. It wouldn’t be good if someone saw us.”

Wei WuXian nodded. He understood that it wasn’t easy for the Jiang siblings to have come out here. If someone else saw them, all those things they did for the public to believe would be wasted. He spoke, “We’ll go first.”

[...]

He turned around, knowing that it’d be a long time before he’d get to see the people he was familiar with again.

But… right now, wasn’t he on his way to seeing people he was familiar with as well?

(Chapter 75, Exiled Rebels translation)

Cast Aside

The way cultivation society treats Wei Wuxian when he is not with the Jiangs is also very revealing. Any level of respect he is given is contingent on his position in the Jiang household, and when they aren’t around that minimal respect fades away. Look at how disrespectfully he is treated when he approaches Jin Zixun to ask for Wen Ning’s location.

Wei WuXian didn’t make small talk either, getting straight to the point, “No thanks. I don’t.” He nodded slightly at Jin ZiXun, “Young Master Jin, could I please have a word with you?”

Jin ZiXun, “If you have anything to say, come after our banquet is over.”

In reality, he didn’t want to talk to Wei WuXian at all. Wei WuXian could see this as well, “How long do I have to wait?”

Jin ZiXun, “Probably around six to eight hours. Or maybe ten to twelve. Or until tomorrow.”

Wei WuXian, “I’m afraid I can’t wait for that long.”

Jin ZiXun’s voice was arrogant, “You’ll have to wait even if you can’t.”

Jin GuangYao, “Young Master Wei, what do you need ZiXun for? Is it a pressing matter?”

Wei WuXian, “Pressing indeed. It allows for no delay.”

[...]

Jin ZiXun, “Wei WuXian, what do you mean? You came for him? You aren’t standing up for a Wen-dog, are you?”

Wei WuXian wore a broad grin, “Since when is it your business whether I’d like to stand up for him or cut his head off? Just give him to me!”

At the last sentence, the grin on his face vanished. His tone turned cold as well. It was clear that he had lost his patience. Many of the people within Glamor Hal shivered in fear. Jin ZiXun felt his scalp tingle as well. Yet, his anger soon soared. He shouted, “Wei WuXian, you are too bold! Did the LanlingJin Sect invite you today? And you dare run wild here. Do you really think that you’re invincible, that nobody has the courage to confront you? Do you want to overturn the Heavens?”

Wei WuXian smiled, “You’re comparing yourself to the Heavens? Excuse my language, but your face is a little too thick, isn’t it?”

[...]

Just as he was about to rebut, sitting on the foremost seat, Jin GuangShan spoke up.

His voice seemed kind, “It’s not anything too important anyways. You youngsters, why lose your tempers over such a thing? However, Young Master Wei, let me be fair here. Barging in when the LanlingJin Sect is holding a private banquet is indeed inappropriate.”

To say that Jin GuangShan didn’t mind what happened at Phoenix Mountain would be impossible. This was also why he only smiled when Jin ZiXun bickered with Wei WuXian but didn’t stop them, and only spoke up when Jin ZiXun was at the disadvantage.

Wei WuXian nodded, “Sect Leader Jin, it was never my intention to disturb your private banquet. My apologies. However, the whereabouts of the people whom Young Master Jin took are still unclear. Just a moment of delay, and it might be too late. One of the group had once saved me before. I will definitely not sit back and watch. Please do not feel pressured. I will make amends for this at a later date.”

[...]

After a few laughs, he continued, “Sect Leader Jin, let me ask you something else. Do you think that, because the QishanWen Sect is gone, the LanlingJin Sect has all right to replace it?”

All was silent within Glamor Hall.

Wei WuXian added, “Everything has to be given to you? Everyone has to listen to you? Looking at how the LanlingJin Sect does things, I almost thought that it was the QishanWen Sect’s empire all over again.”

[...]

A guest cultivator on his right shouted, “Wei WuXian! Watch your words!”

Wei WuXian, “Did I say something wrong? Forcing living people to be bait and beating them up whenever they refused to obey—is this any different from what the QishanWen Sect does?”

Another guest cultivator stood up, “Of course it’s different. The Wen-dogs did all kinds of evil. To arrive at such an end is only karma for them. We only avenged a tooth for a tooth, letting them taste the fruit that they themselves had sown. What’s wrong with this?”

Wei WuXian, “Take revenge on the ones who bite you. Wen Ning’s branch doesn’t have much blood on their hands. Don’t tell me that you find them guilty by association?”

Another person spoke, “Young Master Wei, is it that they don’t have much blood on their hands just because you say so? These are only your one-sided words. Where’s the evidence?”

[...]

Jin GuangShan stood up as well, his face a mixture of shock, anger, fear, and hatred, “Wei WuXian! Just because… Sect Leader Jiang isn’t here doesn’t mean you can be so reckless!”

Wei WuXian’s voice was harsh, “Do you think that I wouldn’t be reckless if he were here? If I wanted to kill someone, who could stop me, and who would dare stop me?!”

[...]

“Young Master Wei really is too impulsive. How could he speak in such a way in front of so many sects?”

Lan WangJi spoke coldly, “Was he wrong?”

Jin GuangYao paused almost unnoticeably. He immediately laughed, “Haha. Yes, he’s right. But it’s because he’s right that he can’t say it in front of them, correct?”

Lan XiChen seemed as if he was deep in thought, “Young Master Wei’s heart really has changed.”

(Chapter 72, Exiled Rebels translation)

The only person at this banquet who speaks to Wei Wuxian respectfully is Jin Guangyao, a consummate manipulator who is also of a lower social status. Everyone else speaks to him dismissively, refusing to respect his request for Wen Ning’s location even though he states that Wen Ning helped him during the war. Wei Wuxian is extremely polite at the beginning of this conversation, and only slowly begins to lose his temper when Jin Zixun speaks rudely and Jin Guangshan decides to bring up the matter of the Yinhufu (Wei Wuxian is right in suspecting him of wanting to replace Qishan Wen, of course, and that it’s very bold of them to think they have the right to a spiritual tool of his just because...they’re rich?).

When the sects meet at Koi Tower to discuss the breakout at Qiongqi Path, no one considers Wei Wuxian as an independent agent who they might actually want to meet and negotiate with themselves. He is a wayward servant of Yunmeng Jiang who the sect leader has failed to keep in hand.

Jiang Cheng only spoke after a few moments, “What he did was indeed a bit too much. Sect Leader Jin, I apologize to you in place of him. If there’s any way at all to help the situation, please let me know. I’ll definitely compensate for things however I can.”

[...]

Jin GuangShan, “Sect Leader Jiang, Wei Ying is your right-hand man. You value him a lot. All of us know this. However, on the other hand, it’s hard to tell whether or not he actually respects you. In any case, I’ve been a sect leader for so many years and I’ve never seen the servant of any sect dare be so arrogant, so proud. Have you heard what they say outside? Things like how during the Sunshot Campaign the victories of the YunmengJiang Sect were all because of Wei WuXian alone—what nonsense!”

[...]

Lan WangJi sat with his back straight, speaking in a tone of absolute tranquility, “I did not hear Wei Ying say this. I did not hear him express the slightest disrespect towards Sect Leader Jiang either.”

[...]

The good thing was that, not long after he felt awkward, Jin GuangYao came to save the day, exclaiming, “Really? That day, Young Master Wei busted into Koi Tower with such force. He said too many things, one more shocking than the next. Perhaps he said a few things that were along those lines. I can’t remember them either.”

[...]

Jin GuangShan followed the transition, “That’s right. Anyhow, his attitude has always been arrogant.”

One of the sect leaders added, “To be honest, I’ve wanted to say this since a long time ago. Although Wei WuXian did a few things during the Sunshot Campaign, there are many guest cultivators who did more than him. I’ve never seen anyone as full of themselves as him. Excuse my bluntness, but he’s the son of a servant. How could the son of a servant be so arrogant?”

[...]

“In the beginning, Sect Leader Jin asked Wei Ying for the Tiger Seal with nothing but good intentions, worried that he wouldn’t be able to control it and lead to a disaster. He, however, used his own yardstick to measure another’s intents. Did he think that everyone is after his treasure? What a joke. In terms of treasures, is there any sect that doesn’t hold a few treasures?”

“I knew that something would eventually happen if he continued on the ghostly path—look! His killing intents are being revealed already. Killing indiscriminately those from our side just because of a few Wen-dogs…”

[...]

Jin GuangShan continued, “Sect Leader Jiang, you’re not like your father. It’s just been a couple of years since the reestablishment of the YunmengJiang Sect, precisely when you should be displaying your power. And he doesn’t even know to avoid suspicions. What would the Jiang Sect’s new disciples think if they saw him? Don’t tell me you’d let them see him as their role model and look down on you?”

He spoke one sentence after another, striking the iron while it was still hot. Jiang Cheng spoke slowly, “Sect Leader Jin, that’s enough. I’ll go to Burial Mound and deal with this.”

Jin GuangShan felt satisfied, speaking in a sincere tone, “That’s the spirit. Sect Leader Jiang, there are some things, some people that you shouldn’t put up with.”

(Chapter 73, Exiled Rebels translation)

This is very reminiscent of the way that Jin Zixuan would often turn around and say, ‘Why aren’t you controlling your servant?’ to Jiang Cheng whenever he had a dispute with Wei Wuxian over his treatment of Jiang Yanli.

When Jiang Cheng goes to the Burial Mounds and Wei Wuxian defects from Yunmeng Jiang in order to help the sect save face, Jiang Cheng treats this as a personal betrayal. He not only challenges Wei Wuxian to a duel but then announces that Wei Wuxian has betrayed Yunmeng Jiang and declared himself the enemy of cultivation society:

After the fight, Jiang Cheng told the outside that Wei WuXian defected from the sect and was an enemy to the entire cultivation world. The YunmengJiang Sect had already cast him out. From then on, no ties remained between them—a clear line was drawn. Henceforth, no matter what he did, they’d have nothing to do with the YunmengJiang Sect!

(Chapter 73, Exiled Rebels translation)

“Wei Wuxian has betrayed the sect, and publicly regards all cultivation sects as enemy! Yunmeng Jiang Sect hereby expels him, breaking all ties with him and drawing a clear line between us. Henceforth, no matter what this person does, it will have nothing to do with Yunmeng Jiang Sect!”

(Modao Zushi Radio Drama, Season 3 Episode 5, Suibian Subs)

Naturally, no one ever questions this or wants to hear Wei Wuxian’s side of the story. Jiang Cheng is a sect leader and Wei Wuxian his servant, and that is all cultivation society needs to know.

In Conclusion

Wei Wuxian was never really part of the Jiang family. The wider social view was that he was a servant who was lucky to be taken in by the family and allowed to live in the main house alongside the sect leader’s children. He’s accepted into cultivation society conditionally, but only as someone who remains a rank below everyone else.

This attitude isn’t just the wider social view which the family themselves disregard; they all play into it. Yu Ziyuan and Jiang Cheng both actively enforce it, Jiang Fengmian passively enforces it, and Jiang Yanli tries but fails to break through the social barriers between them.

#mdzs #mdzs meta #modao zushi

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sunniewrites · 2 years

Text

luka couffaine woahh (season 4 spoilers) (based on the crocoduel episode) (srry if this is ooc i suck at writing)

You clapped and cheered as Kitty Section threw their masks up into the air. Alya and Zoe standing up, you following in suit.

You smile as Rose and Juleka hug, focusing on Luka as he looked around.

"Marinette hasn't around here for a while. Is she ok?" He asks making Alya panic.

You knew Marinette, she probably was hiding in her room convincing herself that Luka not seeing 'the girl that broke his heart' was better than seeing her.

"Oh yeah! Yeah! She's fine. It's just that she.. she... she's got a lot of stuff going on." Alya tried to make up a story for Marinette's absence, but Luka knew better than that.

"You can be honest with me, you know? She's stopped showing up because she knows I'm in love with her, right?" Luka spoke out leaving Alya speechless, luckily Rose interrupting.

You stared at Luka with a small frown on your face as Rose went on some rant about a 'Aqua Pony' class. You knew he felt like he was at fault for Marinette's absence.

You had liked Luka for a bit, knowing he was in love with Marinette hurt and hearing that they were dating hurt even more.

But the relationship didn't last long, Marinette always leaving for some reason. You knew Luka's heart broke every time and how it was broken in half when they broke up. But you were there for him! A shoulder to lean on, someone to talk too... As his best friend.

"I get it, Rose. Thanks." Luka pats her shoulder before walking away. You watching his retreating form before he disappears, leaving you to look out at the river.

"So, Y/n, when are you gonna tell Luka?" Alya focuses her attention on you after creating a plan to help Marinette tell Luka.

Everyone else looks at you too, making your cheeks heat up. "Tell him what?" You mumble out making Alya scoff.

"That you like him." She emphasizes on the 'like' part, also wiggling her eyebrows at you causing everyone to start talking about it.

"It could help him get out of his sad mood!" Alix defends making you shrink in further on yourself. That was the exact opposite of what you wanted.

You didn't want to be his rebound, or the person to pick it all up and then for him to leave you. You were too deep in love for that to happen.

"I think- I think I'm gonna go check up on Luka." You mumble out before quickly leaving to his room, wanting to leave the talk about your feelings.

"Hi" Luka smiles solemnly as you walk in. "Hi" You return his smile and sit next to him on the bed, gently moving his guitar out of the way.

Luka plays a slow sad jazz tune, leading you to sigh and lay on his bed as the song continued. He slowly came to a stop, putting his guitar down and looking at you.

"What's got you so down?" Luka asks and lays down on his back next to you. You turn on your side and stare into his baby blue eyes that sparkled in the light of the open window

"Someone." You speak lightly before continuing "A boy, actually." Luka looks surprised when you finish talking. He never knew you to have interests in anyone. You always seemed too 'by yourself' to know anyone other than him.

"Is he nice?" You smile at the boy infront of me "So nice.." You respond making him slowly nod. "That's good..." He mumbles while staring right back into your eyes, entranced by them.

You both slowly lean in closer, barely any space between you two. "Luka.. I-.." You mumble out before being cut off by the sound on footsteps coming down the stairs.

Luka sits back up before clearing his throat and grabbing his guitar. He starts playing the same slow sad jazz song as before.

You sit up and stare at the back of his head. You guys almost kissed. You just almost kissed your best friend who you've been in love with for months.

But you guys didn't. You guys didn't kiss because Luka would never love you. He'd always see you as his best friend and never as someone he would live. At least, not while he was still in love with Marinette.

You stood up, smiling at Luka before passing Juleka who walked into the room. You met Juleka's eyes for a split second, her eyes wide to the tears brimming yours.

You quickly run upstairs and off of the boat as Juleka understood what happened. You finally understood why her brother was never a good choice for you.

Because, he yearned for someone else.

#sunnie's drabbles #luka couffaine x reader #luka x reader #miraculous ladybug x reader #way too rushed #im tired ok

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annab-nana · 3 years

Text

All A Game - JJ Maybank

You were a kook dating the hottest pogue so you should have guessed something was up, but you never would have thought that your relationship with JJ was a joke.

Requested by @rochyu 💙

A/N: just to clarify, this is based on a scene from the movie “after”, so if it seems familiar, that is why

Warnings: some curse words; angst

Word Count: 2.0k+

--------------------------------------------------

Laughter sounded throughout the closed restaurant as you, JJ, and all of his friends—who you too have become quite close within the span of your relationship—were hanging out with cold fries and watered-down drinks before you on the table. These moments were the ones you held close to your heart. They just felt so warm, something you never ever felt with your friends at the kook academy. Your only kook friends that you ever felt a genuine connection with were Rafe and Kelce, but they always tried to come to your rescue even when not necessary which while endearing was a tad annoying. They probably hated you now that you were fraternizing with the enemy so to speak.

The pogues made you feel so at home in a place that despised you and you had actual fun with them. Between surfing, fishing, little adventures, and late nights like tonight at The Wreck, you grew close to them, called them true friends but boy, were you wrong.

There you sat, a wide radiant smile on your face. JJ’s arm was slung around your shoulders as he cracked more jokes. Pope was on your other side, his dorky grin put on display. Kiara and John B sat on the opposite, giggles flying from their lips alongside quick remarks to add to the banter. Another warm moment that would be your last. Your last moment in their presence and you would miss it. You would be savoring it now if only you knew.

“I gotta wring it out. Be right back,” JJ announced before pressing his lips to your temple—the last kiss from him you would receive—and standing up to leave.

“Ew,” you scolded while wiping the kiss off that you’d wish later on you could do with every part of you he and those damn heavenly lips had touched, “don’t kiss me after talking about that.”

“C’mon princess, don’t do that,” he pouted at you as he blew you a kiss and disappeared into the men’s restroom.

“You two are gross,” John B commented, his facial expression showing his disgust for the interaction he had witnessed.

“Like you don’t mack on Sarah every fucking chance you get,” you quipped, earning some laughs from Pope and Kie. “Anyway, I’m in love with him so say all you want. I don’t care.”

As soon as the words left you, the air was thick around you as the tension grew. You felt Pope stiffen next to you and watched as John B and Kie showed similar blank expressions.

“Is… everything alright?” you questioned with a nervous chuckle. Kiara’s eyes flitted to Pope’s for a second whose eyes widened at what she was insinuating before they jumped to John B’s. “What’s going on?”

“I-“ she sighed while she unlocked her phone, “y/n, there’s something you should know about JJ.”

“O-okay,” you stuttered out in a small voice, worry filling your veins only to heighten when you heard his voice.

“Woah, who killed the mood?” the blond joked, trying to lift the spirits of the group but based on your worried expression, Kie’s eyes never meeting his, and Pope and John B shaking their heads, he realized something serious was going on. “What happened?”

Kiara finally revealed what she was looking for on her phone. It was turned sideways so you all could see the video better and front and center was JJ Maybank. She had not played it yet, but you could tell by his surroundings that it was from the night you met him. It was at that party where Sarah drunkenly introduced you to John B. The other pogues were there too but you had no knowledge of them at the time. That’s when you saw him, blond hair a mess but still cute and bright blue eyes that you found captivating. He saw you too and introduced himself before trying to make a move on you. You, of course, rejected him because he was known everywhere for his infamous one-night stands, and you weren’t here for that. You desired something more that at the time, you didn’t think he could provide. He then went back to his friends, the ones you sat around today.

“Kie,” John B warned as she shot a sharp glare at JJ and played the video. You saw yourself in the video looking up at JJ. It was the exact moment you had met him, and Kiara had filmed it.

“Aw, it looks like JJ Maybank just got his first rejection,” Kie spoke from behind the camera while JJ turned around with an amused smile on his face. John B was laughing behind the phone as well, probably heavily intoxicated on alcohol and Sarah.

“You don’t think I can make it happen?” JJ teased, blue eyes going to each of his friends who stood behind Kiara while he quirked a brow teasingly.

“Make what happen, JJ?” Kie asked before she hiccupped. She’d had a few prior to this as well.

“Make her fall in love with me and then,” he paused then snapped his fingers, “turn it off.”

At that, you felt the tears well in your eyes, but they were also glued to the screen in front of you. You saw the smile he wore after he spoke such a damaging statement and it cut you deep inside. As for everyone else, they were watching you. The video stopped mere seconds after he said those painful words and your eyes lifted from the phone to its owner.

“It was all a game,” Kie’s voice spoke to you while wearing a pitiful expression on the face you thought was of a friend, but she didn’t feel like on right now. None of them did. Though she repeated what you already knew, thanks to the video, you could not believe it. Your focus faltered to the table as you tried to calm the thoughts running through your mind. Every moment you shared with him was nothing. It was all meaningless. It was all a lie. He never cared about you and slowly, that was tearing you up inside.

“Y/n?” JJ’s concerned voice entered your ears. How in any way did he have the right to be concerned for you? This was his mess after all. He did this. You didn’t look up from the table. “Y/n,” he tried again, this time reaching for your hand, but you shrugged it off. “Y/n, please, you have to believe me,” he said while you tried your hardest not to look at him, keeping your gaze trained on the table. He leaned in to be a little closer to you.

“Y/n, that was before everything, before I got to know you,” he desperately tried to get you to understand his side of things. Instead of turning to him, you turned to Pope. His big brown eyes scanned your face, seeing how you were breaking, and he hated it for you. His face showed sympathy, but he was in the wrong too, just not as bad as JJ.

“Is that true?” Your voice broke at the last word, and you despised yourself for it. You could see the little line of tears blurring your vision at the bottom, but not one had dared to fall. Pope looked down for a moment. He did not want to be the one to tell you, but his silence answered your question. Your eyes found John B and Kie next. “And all of you knew?” Back to the table your stare went when no one spoke.

“Y/n,” JJ’s shaking voice sounded on your left. Finally giving up, you let your eyes meet his. What a bad idea that was? Once you caught sight of the beautiful blues, it felt like you were drowning. It was like the water was clogging your ears because you saw his lips moving. You knew he was talking, but no sound was coming to you. Through your blurring vision, you saw that he was fighting off tears too, but what did he have to cry about? He broke yourheart, absolutely wrecked it, and here he was with tears in his eyes. Why couldn’t he just turn it off like he said he could? God, you hated him so much right now. Through the deafening silence, you scrambled to stand as JJ did the same with you.

“Y/n, wait,” you thought he said. That’s what it looked like he said, but you would not know. And you wouldn’t be there to find out either as you took off running for the exit. Once outside, the rain could be heard but also so could JJ.

“Y/n, wait,” he tried again but you kept walking. “Y/n!”

“None of it was real,” you paused to breathe as you faced him, “I actually thought… I thought that-” Your words were cut off by that feeling of your chest tightening as the emotions swirled inside you. That gummy feeling rose to your throat and blocked you from speaking for a moment and JJ noticed this. He knew you now. He knew how you looked when the world was crumbling all around you and that’s how you looked right now. He hated that he was the one who had caused this. “You’re just a liar.”

“That was all before,” he tried to fight, tried to get you to fucking understand but it was too hard. It would never make sense to you and how could it?

“Before what?” you inquired. You were emotionally drained and honestly so done with this situation that you knew you should have seen coming. Love can blind you sometimes though.

“Before-”

“You snapped your fingers and turned it off?” you asked after cutting him off. Guilt was written all over his face and you watched as he thought about what to say next.

“You said nothing could change the way you felt about me.” Yes, JJ, but that was before I knew you were playing some game with me! That’s what you wanted to scream at him. God, you wanted to scream at him, but you didn’t have it in you at the moment.

“Then, I guess we’re both liars,” you stated, plain and simple. You watched as his head hung low and you decided you were done with this, turning to leave. Nothing seemed to be on your side tonight because you had come with everyone in John B’s van after he picked you up so now you had to walk home in the rain. Luckily, The Wreck was between your land and theirs so it wouldn’t be a long trek and the rain masked your tears so to onlookers, you were just walking alone in the rain. Not as sad as you would seem if they had known what was really happening but still pretty pathetic. Your feet took you into the land of the kooks and surprisingly to Tannyhill where Rafe sat outside in his truck.

“What were you doing alone in the rain? Shouldn’t you be with those demons?” Rafe teased, attempting to get you to smile but failing miserably.

“Don’t talk about them,” you barked before letting out your next word a lot more silently and vulnerably, “please.”

“Are you okay?” Anytime someone asks that when you are trying to fight back tears, it always breaks the dam.

“No,” you muttered, but he was quick to pull you into his arms to comfort your sobbing state.

“I’m so sorry, y/n.” You laughed after that. It was funny hearing him apologize on a pogue’s behalf. “What’s so funny?” he asked, a little laughter in his tone as well.

“Nothing, just you’re not telling me ‘I told you so’ or whatever,” you told him honestly, but he was just glad to see you smiling again.

“Wanna go inside? I imagine you’re cold.” You nodded in response as Rafe turned off the vehicle and reached for the door to leave, but you grabbed his arm to stop him.

“I- uh, sorry. I just wanted to say thank you,” you muttered before he shot you a smile and hugged you again, his lips finding the top of your head in a friendly manner.

“Anytime, y/n.”

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jadequeen88 · 3 years

Text

Smart Girls Make Fast Learners

NSFW 18+ ONLY. MINORS WILL BE BLOCKED!

My contribution to the BNHarem’s monthly collab. The theme was SEx work. ⛓This piece is a first real deep dive into darker themes and was actually really, really exciting to write. 🖤 A massive thanks to my dear friend @libiraki for beta reading this.

TW: yandere behavior, toxic relationship, degradation, non-con, dub-con, degradation/praise kinks, mind break, oral (M and F receiving), over stim, loss of virginity, mentions of physical violence.

DISCLAIMER: I do not condone this type of relationship. This is a work of fiction and if this happens IRL please get out of the relationship!

There is a very specific type of dread that occurs when you discover that the person you built your world around has been lying to you. Tamaki Amajiki was experiencing this brand of betrayal for the first time in his twenty-one years on a rainy Tuesday in October in the dim lighting of your dorm room. His grip tightened around the open laptop as he stared at glimpses of flesh in the thumbnails of the many, many videos posted to the site. Previous live streams with thousands of views. He gulped down the bile in his throat as he scrolled through the videos. His shock and disgust morphed into a pure rage as he counted up the live streams that you’d had since first kissing him. 12. There had been twelve. Three times a week for the past four weeks.

Those big doe eyes that looked into his eyes as you tentatively licked the tip of his cock for the first time… mere hours later they were rolling in the back of your head as you got off for strangers on the internet. He couldn’t take it. You were his first… everything… he knew that you hadn’t been innocent in your past. The way your tongue expertly wound around his when you first kissed him amongst your plush pillows and goose-down comforter reminded him of the fact. The low violet LED lighting of your bedroom made him feel like the two of you were in your own ethereal world. He could forgive you for not waiting for him as he’d waited for you.

For the past four years, he kept to the shadows. He was there when the football player from freshman year cheated on you with one of your terrible friends (and when it happened the second, third, fourth time). He was there to binge your favorite shows with you (“*insert current guy you were fucking* just doesn’t get it, he’s not into it. I’m so glad I’ve got you to watch it with!”) He bit back the heartache that would wash over him when you’d pet him and coo over him… you didn’t see him as a man. He wanted to bend you over and prove he could fuck your brains out. He KNOWS he’d be perfect for you. But he never rejected the attention. He smiled and accepted whatever crumbs fell from your table. Whether it be helping you study or letting you complain about your shitty friends or your shitty jock boyfriends or your shitty parents… He gave and gave and gave… until that one day, 35 days ago to be exact, a shift in the tide occurred.

⫸⫸⫸⫸⫸⫸⫸⫸⫸⫸⫸⫸⫸⫸⫸⫸⫸⫸⫸⫸⫸⫸⫸⫸⫸⫸⫸⫸⫸⫸⫸

“So why don’t you have a girlfriend, Tama-kun?”

“Wh-wha?”

Tamaki dropped the pencil he’d been using and before he could bend to get it himself, your hand was on his thigh and he was putty in your grasp. You giggled and cooed over him like you always did, but this time you did it while assaulting his mouth and neck with your skilled tongue. This time, for the first time, you made Tamaki feel like a man. Like YOUR man.

⫸⫸⫸⫸⫸⫸⫸⫸⫸⫸⫸⫸⫸⫸⫸⫸⫸⫸⫸⫸⫸⫸⫸⫸⫸⫸⫸⫸⫸⫸⫸

Over the next few weeks, Tamaki had become quite skilled in pleasing a woman. It only took a little guidance to have him sucking at your clit with just the right amount of pressure. He learned on his own how to couple that with his long, delicate fingers twisting and pumping in and out of your slick hole. You’d cling to his silky hair, pulling him closer as a constant stream of praise tumbled from your lips:

“No one has ever made me feel this good.”

“Your fingers are perfect Tama-kun”.

“I love your mouth on me so much, baby.”

The first time you came on his face, Tamaki knew there was a god because he’d found heaven between your thighs.

But that was gone now… ripped away with one mouse click on the night he was going to finally give you his virginity. He had held on to it like it was a treasure. A treasure he’d present to you one day wrapped up in life-long devotion and worship... But Tamaki wasn’t in heaven anymore. He wasn’t going to worship you tonight. For the first time since laying eyes on you, Tamaki wanted to hurt you.

⫸⫸⫸⫸⫸⫸⫸⫸⫸⫸⫸⫸⫸⫸⫸⫸⫸⫸⫸⫸⫸⫸⫸⫸⫸⫸⫸⫸⫸⫸⫸

You turned the shower off and dried yourself. Wiping the condensation from the mirror, you couldn’t help but smile at your reflection. You felt like this was going to be the first time giving your body to someone. Tonight was a redo. You were wiping the slate clean. Your first time would no longer be underneath the football captain in the passenger seat of his truck, left feeling sore and unsatisfied. It was going to be with the guy you should have noticed long ago. It would be soft and slow… passionate and filled with sweet words and caresses… limbs tangled in soft sheets that smell like lavender and vanilla.

You applied your lotion and moisturized your face. The red lace adorning your body was arranged perfectly, accentuating the soft swell of your hips and chest. With one last glance in the mirror and adjustment of your bra, you opened the door to the cool air of your dorm room…

...And saw Tamaki looking murderous.

His eyes slowly left the screen to meet your gaze. His tear-stained face had never looked this harsh. His normally sweet eyes were narrowed and red from crying. The sweet lips you’d licked and sucked with such tenderness were hard and cold as they pulled upward in a grimace.

The only thing he said before rising from the bed and setting aside your laptop was your camgirl username. Then he was on you before you could draw a breath to explain.

⫸⫸⫸⫸⫸⫸⫸⫸⫸⫸⫸⫸⫸⫸⫸⫸⫸⫸⫸⫸⫸⫸⫸⫸⫸⫸⫸⫸⫸⫸⫸

Tamaki always thought he liked you best on top of him showering him with kisses and threading your fingers through his hair, but he had to admit… having your arms tied to a bed frame with the silky sash of your bathrobe cutting into your skin was doing things to him. When you sniffled, face stained with tears and snot, his dick twitched in his boxers. The whines you were choking back behind the silky red panties stuffed down your throat sent chills up his spine. You had to learn the hard way not to spit them out after a harsh slap echoed against your skin when you fought back the first time.

Tamaki stood back to survey the mess of skin, spit, and tears for a moment. You were a blank canvas for him to mark up with his rage and lust. You tried to hide away your bare pussy by clenching your thighs together. It only spurred him on.

“Do you have any clue what you’ve done?” he hovered over you, sleek muscles rippling over your own soft body, “I waited, and waited, and WAITED,” he bit down on the side of your exposed neck and you screamed behind the silky gag, trying your best not to expel it from your mouth and receive more punishment.

“I want to give you everything, Y/N,” he licks over the bite, almost apologetically, “I don’t want to hurt you. I didn’t want it to happen like this… FUCK, why?! Why did you ruin this?” his long fingers dug into your cheeks as he forced you to meet his fiery gaze. You couldn’t help whimpering and sniffling back more clear runny snot. You were so humiliated at how disheveled and disgusting you must look. His head ducked into the soft spot between your neck and shoulder and you felt him sob.

Despite the abuse he’d inflicted upon you in the last ten minutes, you nuzzled your cheek into the top of his head in an attempt to comfort him. And he let you… he hated himself for it and he hated you for making this all so hard for him.

“No… no, no, no,” he rose from the bed to set up your ring-light and laptop, ice running through your veins at the sight. Your mind couldn’t accept what was about to happen.

“I’m... I’m not letting you get away with this,” he shook his head and pulled at his hair as he finished setting everything up, “If you’re insisting on being a slut, you’ll be MY slut. And everyone will know…” he jerked your ankle to force you flat on your back.

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Maybe if he’d let the gag out of your mouth, you’d be able to tell him this was just a job to you. That it was clinical… that he was the only one who had ever been able to get you off, that his face was the only one you’d come on… that you needed the money since your parents had disowned you…

But you only laid there, accepting whatever he was going to dish out. You knew he was hurt. You weren’t stupid. You overlooked him while knowing how he felt about you. It took years of horrible one-night stands and countless frat parties pretending that whatever guy you’d picked that night was interesting for you to come to your senses. You hated yourself for being so blind for so long… You adored Tamaki, truly. And you hated yourself for all the times you’d hurt him… so you swallowed your fear and tried to prepare yourself for whatever came next.

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Any soft parts of Tamaki that you’d grown to love were gone, hardened by heartache and desperation. After angling the laptop to get the perfect shot, he started the live stream countdown. Subscribers started trickling in, commenting on how this was a pleasant surprise since it wasn’t one of your regularly scheduled streams. You shut your eyes to pretend this wasn’t real.

Without fanfare or warning, Tamaki ripped apart your thighs, exposing your bare slit. A raw shrill was pulled from your lungs, your back arching from the sting of an abrupt slap. Neurons fired off in your brain… were you in pain? Was it pleasure?

“Since my girlfriend likes to keep secrets from me, I can’t trust what comes out of her whore mouth,” he emphasized his point by stuffing his fingers past your lips, pushing the soaked silk further into your throat, “So she’s going to keep this gag right here until I can fuck the truth out of her,” he trailed his fingers along your reddened folds. Were you getting wet? Horror and shame blossomed in your chest. The fact that you were growing aroused wasn’t lost on Tamaki. His foreign, sadistic grin was back… aimed directly into your soul.

“So that’s what you like, huh?” His nails bit into your thighs leaving tiny crescents behind, “I’ve been too nice? Too soft?” He pushed your thighs impossibly wide, the stretch causing you to moan. He hovered over your core, onyx orbs blown wide with a mix of hate and lust. Tamaki looked like the devil himself and you wondered just how fucked up you were for wanting his punishment.

He opened his mouth and lolled out his tongue, never severing the desperate gaze you both shared, his intertwined with hunger, yours with fear. You’d never noticed how long and thick his tongue was and couldn’t help but wonder how it would feel caressing every ridge and crevice of your inner walls. He flattened the warm, wet muscle and pressed it along your slit. As he slowly slid it closer and closer to your burning clit, you whimpered and bucked your hips chasing the pleasure you knew he was capable of giving… but this was not your sweet boy and he wasn’t doing any of this for your pleasure.

He slung his arm over your lower stomach and growled into your drenched lips. You were pinned down, helpless against his torturous tongue. Fresh tears pricked at your eyes as you remembered how he’d let you pet him and buck into his face, how sweetly he’d ease you into a gentle release. Not this time… it was all teeth and sharp sucks, his tongue forcing you open violently. You were being shoved over a cliff and despite the horror and violence of what was happening to you. You were approaching an orgasmic state at record speed. Tamaki caught on and doubled down. The arm that wasn’t pinning you into the mattress pulled your leg down straight, your knee in a death grip. The new angle made the sensations even more intense. His face pressed harder into your core and you noticed that at some point, he’d started weeping, small sobs vibrating against your skin. The overwhelming mix of emotions and the vigor in which he was eating you shoved you over the edge.

He kept going along at the same speed with the same determination through your orgasm until it became painful. You pushed past it as best you could, allowing him to sob into your over-sensitive skin until he had his fill. As the pain started intermingling with pleasure, your legs shook and the gag couldn’t hold your screams back any longer. You released against his tongue once more, both of you sobbing. He laid against your thigh for what felt like an eternity before he lifted himself to lay on top of you, his hip bones digging into your soft thighs. You could feel the bulge through the thin material of his boxer briefs. Your hips rose to meet it, a pleading gesture filled with the desire to comfort and please him. Your eagerness encourages his mercy, there’s a meek cry that leaves your lips when the damp silk slips from between your teeth.

“Please baby… I’m so, so sorry I didn’t tell you…” your voice was as weak as a kitten’s cry and Tamaki couldn’t deny it made his heart (his dick) clench.

“Say it…” his lips were close enough to kiss, but you resisted… fearful of what he’d do if you did.

“Say what, Tama?” your eyes were wide with concern and confusion. You were desperate to please him.

He turned your face to the camera that you’d forgotten was there and the gravity of the situation crashed around you again. New tears leaked from your stinging eyes as Tamaki whispered into your ear.

“Say that you’re a lying whore…”

“I..I’m a lying whore…”

The last syllable broke as your abused throat grew accustomed to speaking again. He rewarded you with a soft kiss to your cheek and your eyes closed at the tender gesture. The familiar pain in your chest welled to the surface causing even more tears to escape.

“And tell everyone that you’re my own personal slut”

You repeated the phrase to the audience behind the screen and he hummed with approval, trailing one finger along your wet cheek.

“Good girl…” the praise sent shivers through your wrecked body.

“And tell them from now on, your boyfriend will be the only one making you come… that they only get to see you be HIS slut.”

You noticed the chat going absolutely haywire at your announcement. Before Tamaki shut your laptop, you realized you’d made three times as much as you’d ever made before and a twisted sense of accomplishment filled your cloudy mind.

“Please,” your voice came out in a croak, “Please untie me. I wanna make it up to you,” his clothed bulge was burning into your core and you could tell he was close to breaking.

“Please let me make you feel good. I’m so, so sorry,” the clench of your thighs around his waist made him whimper.

He reluctantly pulled away to sit on the foot of the bed. The way he curled in on himself hugging his knees made him appear so small, so fragile… a complete change from the man who’d just manhandled you into restraints.

“You’re a liar…” you almost didn’t hear the whisper, his face buried into his knees.

“Please!” you were losing feeling in your hands and all you wanted was to be free to comfort him.

His eyes met yours and it was your Tamaki again... Your sweet boy… the snarling, green beast that threatened to devour you was sleeping now after it reached its fill of violence. He crawled over your body and released your restraint. Before you even regained feeling in your hands, you wrapped your arms around him. You littered his collarbone with sweet kisses and apologetic sobs. He began to melt into your affectionate gestures and you wrapped your legs around his waist pulling him impossibly close. Wet lips met and your tongues fought against each other for dominance. Hips began to roll against each other, increasing pressure until you both gasped.

The violence was gone, but this was still not a gentle coupling like you’d been planning. Tamaki pulled away and freed his straining cock from his boxers. The skin-to-skin contact made your eyes roll back into your skull. You felt his long fingers grasp your throat, squeezing to remind you just how powerful they were. You shuddered in response, arching upward into his touch, chasing that high his dominance was giving you.

With one swift motion, Tamaki speared you onto his cock. With the minimal prep he’d given you, the stretch was agonizing. This was by far the largest cock you’d ever taken and it stole your breath from your aching lungs. You moaned earning a visceral reaction from the boy on top of you.

Tamaki stayed as still as he could. He refused to come so soon… not when he’d waited so long for this. He tightened his grip on your throat and tentatively rocked his hips into yours. It didn’t take long for it to progress into the most frantic love-making you’d ever experienced.

There was no other way to describe it, he was hate fucking you… biting and sucking your chest until blood bloomed under your skin… hammering into your sore, sticky cunt with total abandon… he was using you like a toy, taking out all his frustrations on your body.

It was ecstasy.

When his hips stuttered as he met his release, the spasms of his tip against your gummy walls sent you into a painful orgasm. You were spent and it seemed like he was too. Your fingers twitched over the crown of his head, wanting to run your fingers through his hair but too scared to initiate any contact with him. As if he could read your mind, he grabbed your hand and placed it on his head. You sighed and began carding through the tangles, gently undoing them. You felt a stream of tears running down your chest as you worked your fingers through his strands. Lifting his face gently, you met his teary gaze with your own.

“Don’t…” he drew in a shuddering breath, “ever lie to me like that again…” the monster behind his eyes stirred quietly, a malicious glint in his eye, before shifting back into your gentle boyfriend.

“Never, I swear to you, baby…” he lets you lift his chin gently to meet your lips. His eyes close and he sighs into your kiss. His muscles relax and when his eyes open again, his warm, adoring expression falls over your face. The hand that wanted to choke the life out of your eyes minutes ago now caresses your jaw tenderly,

“I trust you…” his lips turn up into a grin that’s just a little too wide, “Because you’re a smart girl, aren’t you?” his top lip brushed against your still trembling bottom lip…

“Y-yes…”

You were fucked. This whole situation was fucked up and you weren’t blind to the fact. But as Tamaki nuzzled into your neck placing soft kisses and whispering praises into your skin, you let yourself bask in the gentleness of the moment…

Because you were a smart girl and smart girls learn their lessons quickly...

#bnha #bnha smut #yandere tamaki #tamaki amajiki x reader #tamaki x y/n #tamaki amajiki #tw:dubcon #tw: noncon #tw: injury #tw: toxic relationship #tw: dark themes

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emmacifer · 3 years

Text

Art analysis: 'Poe and Ranpo' chapter-opening art

The upward eight of swords? The Black Cat? The Murders in the Rue Morgue?

*Spoilers ahead for the manga, ‘The Black Cat’ by Edgar Allan Poe, ‘The Murders in the Rue Morgue’ by Edgar Allan Poe

Chapter 32 is the chapter where Poe challenges Ranpo and Yosano, but mostly Ranpo, to solve a mystery he has spent 6 years meticulously constructing, thinking that he finally would have his revenge on Ranpo. And, for what’s worth, I think it’s interesting to point out the potential references that are embedded in this chapter opening art.

# All my analyses are personal opinions and I do not mean to override any takes the reader might have. That being said...

The first reference is the upward eight of swords.

In the art, we can see a hand, or possibly just the hand of a body, reaching out from a coffin, and eight swords in an upright position jutting out of it. I haven’t really learned anything about tarot cards before but after reading up on it, I feel like it might have something significant to the card of the upward eight of swords. Please do correct me if I am wrong on any accord.

The upward eight of swords represents a situation where you feel trapped in a situation but you have no way out. The more that you think about it, the more that you feel trapped. But in actuality you are not bound by the situation itself but the thoughts by which you chain yourself. You are able to escape the situation if you want to.

In the tarot card, the woman is fenced by the upright swords but isn’t necessarily imprisoned by them. She would know that she can escape if only she’d take the blindfold off.

So far in the manga, there has been two scenes where Ranpo admits that he does not have an ability and that his deduction skills are his own observative intelligence and methodology:

Chapter 32, which we are analysing right now

And, chapter 56, where he tells Mushitaro he will defeat him even though he does not have an ability, but since his comrades think he’s invincible (dazaiscans)

Ranpo kept telling Yosano all throughout the first part of the chapter that he needed his glasses so that they could solve the mystery of the novel they were trapped in and return to the real world. He's shown to have not wanted to question the guests or investigate his surroundings, but since Ranpo's "ability" has always been himself, he is subconsciously or unconsciously doing it anyways. He notices things when he's not even having to put in the effort to do so. He can point out his deduction process and justify the outcome as he always does.

But he still said that he wasn't doing fine. I don't mean to mischaracterize Ranpo in any way, he is a very brilliant character with a childish, occasionally teasing personality but serious when the time calls for it. But in this chapter, his initial statement that says he couldn't use his ability because he did not have his glasses, did put him in a tight place for a hot minute. Now this is what would relate to the upward eight of swords. The card symbolizes a situation where you feel trapped in a situation but it is not the situation itself binding you, but your thoughts. You are able to escape if you want to. The lady in the card is able to escape if only she took her blindfold off. I wouldn’t necessarily say Ranpo is in denial of the fact that he does not have an ability, because, evidently, he very much is aware of said fact and acknowledges it himself.

The second reference is the black cat behind the window.

While most ability users in BSD have their abilities named after a famous work of them or a reference to one of their works, Poe's ability name ‘Black Cat in the Rue Morgue’ has a combination of two of his works: 'The Black Cat' and ' The Murders in the Rue Morgue'. And the mystery novel that he introduced Ranpo to in Chapter 32 also seems to be a combination of the tales of irl Poe's two stories, 'The Black cat' and 'The Murders in the Rue Morgue', with, I'd say, only the exception of it being set in the future since the original novels of irl Poe did not have any futuristic elements in them. I’m not saying that the mystery novel is an exact replica and combination of the two irl novels, it’s just that the overall atmosphere of the novel seems to somewhat reflect certain elements of the irl novels.

The Black Cat is a story about a man who hanged his own cat from a tree and later killed his own wife in the heat of a moment. The protagonist of this novel enjoyed drinking to the extreme and it was in the moments when he was highly intoxicated that he committed acts such as gouging out the eye of his beloved cat, Pluto, and hitting his wife over the head with an axe, accidently killing her.

The Murders in the Rue Morgue is a story of how the intelligent mind of Auguste Dupin solved the muder mystery of two french ladies who were killed by an unknown murderer in their apartment at Rue Morgue street. Said unknown murderer later turned out to be an orangutan that a sailor captured from Borneo then brought to Paris, In the novel, several people known to have heard the murder were questioned individually about the unknown culprit, just like how the people in the mansion were questioned about the murderer in chapter 32, in the novel. It could be said that questioning witnesses is a common theme that can be found for any mystery story but it’s just an interesting similarity.

The thing about the mystery novel BSD Poe wrote was that-

a) There was a murderer whom the people did not know

b) The protagonist was trying to find out who the murderer is

c) The protagonist himself was the murderer

In the story of ‘The Murders in the Rue Morgue’,

a) There was a murderer whom the people did not know

b) The protagonist, or protagonists, since there were two of them, were trying to find out who the murderer is

Obviously BSD Poe’s mystery novel did not feature an orangutan that accidently happened to kill people but that is where the element of the story of ‘The Black Cat’ comes in, because the protagonist of ‘The Black Cat’ murdered both his cat and his wife in the name of intoxication, which leads us to

c) The protagonist himself is the murderer

Personally, I feel like ‘The Murders in the Rue Morgue’ fits better than ‘The Black Cat’ for the references in BSD, since it features a protagonist, who was amazed by an individual who had a very observant mind. The protagonist of the novel had much admiration for Auguste Dupin’s thought process and how he could read something seemingly simple to deduce something deep out of it. Much like the admiration and respect that Poe has for Ranpo’s ability, the non-ability.

The third reference is the roses.

Everyone knows that roses are typically associated with love, romance and passion, but they could also have different meanings depending on their color and their symbolisms in different cultures. Yellow roses in Japanese culture are said to mean jealousy, at least according to source. It might symbolize the jealousy that Poe has of Ranpo and his aspiration to beat Ranpo. But he is equally jealous of it as he is fascinated by it, which orange roses can symbolize: fascination and desire. They could also mean enthusiasm and passion, both of which Poe has for Ranpo’s company and ability. He admires Ranpo and his ability, in the way that one would admire their opponent in a friendly rivalry sort of relationship. He is constantly awed by it, and draws a lot of inspiration from Ranpo.

In conclusion, I think the fascination that Poe has of Ranpo and the fact that Ranpo acknowledges his and Poe’s encounter six years ago as ‘the only time I got pushed to my limits by another detective’(easygoingscans) is very compatible of them and I do believe that their rivalry and friendship is something that helps both of them grow and benefits both individuals. It is something beautiful.

Some more sources below for the meaning of roses if anyone wants to find out more!! Also thank you so much nika @nikadoesanart for beta-ing this analysis >//<

https://www.pickupflowers.com/flower-guide/rose-flower-meanings.

https://www.thursd.com/articles/different-colors-of-roses-and-their-meaning/

https://blossomtown.com/bt-news/what-do-flowers-mean-find-flower-language/

#bungou stray dogs #bsd analysis #ranpo edogawa #edgar allan poe #bsd ranpo #bsd poe #bungou sd #i've been putting this off for a long time about time I posted this #art analysis #bsd art analysis #yosano akiko #bsd yosano #bsd meta

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writingfromkitchenator · 2 years

Note

Love! *taps microphone*

I need a fic!

I am pretty sure that it's needless to say, but here goes: Crowley! Reader! Fluff! I trust you with everything.

It was pretty obvious, wasn't it? 😅

Hope you have a lovely day!

Be prepared for Crowley chaos in the Christmas sequel! XD Enjoy!

I need your help.

Crowley had been staring at the text for at least five minutes. The Winchester's asked for help, even Castiel asked for help, but you never did. He wasn’t sure what to think, and the longer he dwelled on it the more his curiosity, and concern, grew.

Rolling his eyes at himself, he relented, and went to your location.

You jumped when he appeared and he raised an eyebrow. “You asked for my help, so here I am.”

He saw the guilt instantly, and the awkwardness, but the way you chewed your bottom lip let him know that you were just slightly desperate. “Yes, well...here you are.”

“Here I am.” He said. “You look troubled, but you don’t exactly look like you are in trouble.”

A nervous bubble of laughter left you and you broke away from his gaze. “Well...it’s not life and death, no. It’s just...well, in all honesty I didn’t actually think you’d turn up.”

Crowley raised an eyebrow. “Y/N, in the small group of people we know, you are by far the least irritating. You have gotten me out of a few sticky situations, so what exactly can I help with?”

The biting of your bottom lip continued, before your mouth opened several times to and speak, but ultimately failing.

He sighed. “I do not have all day, popular to contrary belief.”

You groaned and rubbed the back of your neck as your face screwed up in mental anguish. “I know...I’m just...look, I’ve fucked up, alright? I...I’ve said a few things I shouldn’t have and now I’m deep water without a floatation devise. Admitting to you...exactly what is going on and I’m pretty sure you’ll just push me under, because it’s not...your usual cup of tea.”

Crowley blinked. “Would you care to speak plainly, love?”

Sighing, you sat heavily, burying your head in your hands. “I...need a date. To a family gathering. Where I may have already told my family that I was seeing someone. You, to be precise.”

It took him a long few moments to process that, just staring at you like you’d grown an extra head. “I’m sorry, say again?”

You groaned and looked at him pathetically. “Don’t make me feel worse than I already do, Crowley. Look it...it just kind of happened. My family, especially as I’ve gotten older and my siblings got married or formed long term relationships, they began to pester me more. Now obviously hunting is not suited for that type of thing, but...it just kept getting worse. I had to tell them something to get them off my back and, well, yours was...the first name that came to me.”

He saw straight through that, but decided to put it away for later. “So you need me to be your date for your family gathering?”

A solemn nod and you looked even more miserable. “I need you to be my fiancé for a Christmas family gathering.”

Crowley went to say something smart when your words truly registered. “Fiancé?”

You grimaced sheepishly. “I...have been keeping this up for a while.”

He stared at you for a long moment, still in disbelief, but he finally laughed, which you weren’t overly sure how to take. “Oh, you are going to owe me big time for this one, love. You are very lucky I like you.”

Heat rose in your cheeks. “I never expected it to get this out of hand. If it wasn’t for the fact that my sister had moved out this way, so the family is travelling to see her, this wouldn’t be happening at all.”

Crowley continued to chuckle. “And when in this lovely event?”

“In a few weeks, no exact date yet.”

“Wonderful. I look forward to it.”

“You...are looking forward to it?”

He grinned. “Y/N, you are never living this down, so yes, I am indeed looking forward to it.”

You sighed heavily and flopped back with a heavy groan. “Great.”

#i need a fic #supernatural #crowley #crowley x reader

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elriell · 3 years

Text

Some jumbled up thoughts about Elain, Lucien and Azriel + Mating Bonds

There have been a lot of conversations regarding this topic and I thought I’d flesh it out a bit myself, but these are facts/observations that as a fandom many have noticed, discussed, analysed. I just wanted to dive in myself fully.

I want to talk about each of them individually as well as, as a whole. Their emotions and mindsets, as someone who loves all three characters and wishes for all of them to get a happy ending. I will preface this with saying I will be discussing why it is very likely Elain will reject the bond and such things, so along the lines of Anti-Elucien. If you are a fan of them, thats cool, just skip this one if you happen upon it.

We are going to dive in to the following;

Lucien & Elain (their choices)

Lucien & Azriel (contrast)

Rejecting the Bond

New Bonds

Fate & THE POV

and why the writing is basically telling us everything we need to know...

Lucien

Lucien is noble male, he has a good heart and has suffered his plenty, and this is why people want what is best for him, to be the happiest he can... Unfortunately I think that in this case Elain is not it.

He is right to feel that way, just as Elain has a right to feel as she does. I think it is incredibly interesting that when we finally see from his POV we see that in a way he feels as though this has been thrust on them.

That with his last love he had a choice and so did she.

It reminds me very much of this line about Rhysand’s parents, who were an example of an unhappy mating bond.

We will deep dive in to wrong matches further down, but the fact is that mated couples are not always indicators of true paired souls, that they very well could be the couple that do not end up happy together.

I speak on Elain and her agency a lot because I feel like a large portion of the fandom like to discard it as if it means nothing, and even judge her for it but if we actually take a look at Lucien’s behaviour he is not all that more happy.

There are some key differences between them though, Lucien as a male feels their bond to a different degree than she does, and he also has been raised to believe and respect the bond. And thus he feels a certain obligation to honour it in the best way he can.

This doesn’t mean he thinks she is right for him, any further than his attraction to her (which like same dude same), he hasn’t displayed any signs that they actually aline as a couple. And I feel like SJM clearly highlights this when she sets examples of his gifts not being... well right for her.

The gloves we know she never wears show us how little they know each other as she loves to get dirty [which Feyre had told him] and the pearl necklace is then contrasted by Azriels which was very personalised to Elain.

(The rose, the secret beauty of it hitting the light etc...)

These are all deliberate moves by Sarah to showcase their misaligned bond.

And during Elain’s section I will also be pointing out some Lucien moments that really don’t read well for him. I genuinely believe he is much happier amongst the Band of Exhiles than he is when he is seen with The Inner Circus.

Elain

Here is the thing, this situation isn’t any easier on him that’s true but people need to respect Elains feelings, and the fact is she does not like him. Not only does she not like him but she shrinks in on herself, she looses all the progress and confidence she has made since the Cauldron. That is not a good sign of anything healthy.

If this is suppose to be a romance we root for why is she doing everything in her power to make it seem the opposite? If she genuinely was playing the long game she would have at least started to make them comfortable around each other, goodness they don’t even have to talk, but she does the opposite.

She emphasises that he brings out the bad in her. Again, no bueno. She quite simply does not want to be around him and with SJM’s writing I think this is highly deliberate on her part.

[And let’s be clear there are countless quotes from the other books that do NOT reflect well on their relationship but I am trying to stick to ACOSF, as it is her most recent work, otherwise I would be here all day.]

Rejecting the Bond

We have almost a two page discussion on why mating bonds are not an exact science, and that they can be more harmful than good. We are given two examples of it, with both Rhys’ and Tamlin’s parents. And then we get a very subtle hit at Azriel. This is all in the book Sarah said she began planting the seeds for the sisters journeys.

We also know from this there is a choice. But that many force it, because they feel it it right, (much like Lucien is probably doing right now, because he feels a duty and hope that it will work out.)

Then we have the fact thrown at us that a lot of males believe that their mate belongs to them and will challenge the other male, which we now have a call back to with Rhys’ mentioning “The Blood Duel”.

There is literally not one reason Sarah would put this in TWICE only for it never to happen or come close too happening. How anyone can question at this point that Elriel will happen is confusing to me, she has laid all the groundwork for it.

Now I don’t believe for a second that Lucien wouldn’t respect her choice, I think it will most certainly come down to Beron forcing his hand to wage the war we know he wants.

I think despite what Rhys said in Azriel’s POV under immense stress, TNC will protect Elain and ultimately stand by her decision.

Not only does ACOSF spend a great deal of time creating a further divide between Elain & Lucien it also add a shockingly large quantity of easter eggs about “Elain choosing bonds” “Other Mate” “What if it chose wrong?” and again in this book like in ACOMAF we bring back up a failed mated pair to remind you of it’s existence.

All possible signs lean towards them breaking the bond.

And frankly from a storytelling perspective having three perfect bonds that are basically the same overarching love story (enemies to lovers) is boring, she would want to shake it up and throw a little curveball.

Lucien + Azriel & Why I think Azriel will have a bond with Elain.

“If anyone can sense if something is amiss, it’s a mate” And low and behold it is Azriel who figures out what was going on with her. Not to mention in the reveal SJM further displays that Lucien has no clue what was going on with her.

I don’t know what bridge holds their bond but I wouldn’t trust crossing it personally... :/

Further still, Lucien cannot hear her heart. Their bond is definitely not strong but you could also argue that is not an element of the bond at all but rather of her abilities perhaps. Since we know she could hear the sea too though it was nowhere close by.

But Azriel did hear her, he did pay attention and he figured out what was amiss.

It is interesting to me that people took such issue with this when I believe very few have issues with Rhys or Cassian fighting for their respective partners. Now I have gone in to it in depth about how I think that this was pure emotion and illogical on Azriel’s part, and I don’t believe he would kill Lucien so carelessly.

I think it speaks to the same blind emotion a lot of them have displayed for their mates, Lucien may have wanted to see if she was worth it but Azriel knows she is worth the fight.

And for all intensive purposes in that moment he was willing to fight for someone he believes shares his feelings.

Now let’s tackle the whole “Possessive” crap.

First of all, all of the male pairings in this series have shown moments like this, so if it is bothering you here why isn’t it bothering you at other points?

Lucien has been just as instinctively possessive from their bond, and let me clarify, I am not shaming him for that anymore than anyone else. What I am pointing out is the double standard, if anything Azriel has more reason to feel like he can fight for her because she has actually shown him care, interest and attraction.

They have actually bonded a lot more than she has with Lucien thus far.

And if they truly do have an upcoming bond then judging him on three paragraphs when we don’t know what the heck is going on is just ridiculous.

On the same note of that scene, let’s talk about “deserve”

First of all he never said he deserved her, Rhys implied that is what he was gleaning from the conversation and that it is just lust, which we know is not the case. Clearly Rhys perception is not accurate at all so to take his statement at face value and call it fact is a bit disingenuous.

Azriel wasn’t claiming he deserves her, did you read his POV at all?? He didn’t even feel like his hands should touch her let alone deserve her. Please go back and read that chapter again if you can’t see that.

Not to mention I think that the idea of FATE, and believing in hope even when the odds are stacked against you (AKA her having a mate) is actually very consistent with SJM storytelling and Az. Remember this;

The fact that he is hopeful despite the despair of his situation is exactly what people have valued about him. Not to mention after Rhys says this to Azriel he says to them;

So Rhys too believes they were brought in his family for a reason, some sort of fate.

Amren too thinks they are blessed by fate. Why is it so shocking and offensive that Azriel have a little hope that there is a reason they came in to their lives? Because he isn’t with your fav?

Let’s be honest he didn’t exactly get over Mor in ACOMAF, ACOWAR and then even ACOFAS there are slight moments, thats over a long period. Three sisters didn’t just arrive and he went TAG “I want one.”

No, he genuinely grew to care for Elain, and let go of his past, and in watching Elain not find any connection with her mate he saw it as a sign that the Cauldron was wrong, which we know it can be.

I don’t know if people are selective readers but if you think that he doesn’t care for her as a person beyond being a “sister” I don’t know what to tell you, we are not reading the same books.

ANYWAYS back on topic.

I think Sarah has laid a lot of groundwork for her breaking the bond and perhaps choosing a new one. I know not everyone is keen on another bond as they feel her free will and choice is enough, that’s fair and I agree to a point.

I just wanted to analyse the data at hand, and I do believe after ACOSF (I never thought it prior really) that they are mates in some capacity, whether that is because of the Cauldron or something that will occur... I think she has laid enough groundwork for them being Soulmates at the least. Hence why I love the idea of a Carranam bond.

There are so many parallels between Rhys, Cassian & Az that could be taken as little signs but honestly this is long enough I am sure you all want to kill me already for making you read all that hahaha

One last little morsel, it very well might be nothing but Az shouting after they take Elain is an interesting choice, it’s ambiguous enough that you can take it to mean the pain but it could also be another little crumb.

Basically with all said and done I think she will give Elain her agency back and break it.

And potentially something will occur with Azriel as a result but thats certainly more grey than the rest of it.

Thank you for coming to my ted talk!

Obviously, to each their own opinion, have fun and ship whatever you want these are just my thoughts on the text at hand!

(Also I am sorry I got like 20+ messages to get to in my inbox, yeah I kinda ignored everyone and worked on this today, sorry!!! I’ll be back tomorrow)

#elriel #elriel mates #elain archeron #azriel #acosf spoilers #acosf #acotar #azriel x elain #elriel meta #myelriel #anti elucien #anti-elucien

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thisbeatchachinglikemoney · 3 years

Text

Danger

Part 12 of the Boys with Luv series

Pairing: Reader x BTS, BTS x BTS

Summary: Yoonkook make up and the search for Y/N is underway (this one will just be from the members point of view)

Warnings: Self harm, suicidal thoughts, Jungkook is in quite a dark place

Tags: @calling-dips-on-j-hope, @fic-recs-by-moon, @luvtaeha, @aretha170, @xicanacorpse, @kookieebangtan, @fangirl125reader, @seoul9711, @channiespup , @lindsayjoy444, @fairygirl18, @black-rose-29, @bts-ot7-for-life, @meowmeowyoongles, @aclowe13

AN: Let me know if you want to be added to the taglist and what you think of the series so far :) I purple you guys!

Part 11 | Part 12 | Part 13

It had been a few days since Y/N had been taken and Jungkook had not come out of his room. Not even to eat. It was worrying Jin that his youngest boyfriend had shut himself off from everyone. Jin was actually reaching his limit. His baby needed to come out soon or else he would break down the door.

Namjoon was right - they all needed to stick together. It would make the whole ordeal a lot easier to go through with as they had each other to lean on. Y/N had no one which was something Jin was worried about. Yoongi had told them all about the conversation he had had with Y/N after Jackson had found her at Disneyland, and Jin was worried. They all were. The police had been informed of the possible intentions and Y/N’s case was a top priority. They had people working on it day and night.

Jin sighed as he knocked on Jungkook’s door. “Kookie, please, let me in.” He begged. “Hyung needs to talk to you. To know you are okay. Please baby. Please.” There was still no answer. If Jin pressed his ear to the door and listened hard enough, he was able to hear soft sobs. He was scared for Jungkook. The boy had been close to self-harming a few years ago, and he didn’t want that to happen again.

He remembered when they found out. It was the second year of their relationship and Jungkook, who was usually the cuddly fluffball of the group, was withdrawn and quiet, often speeding up to his room and locking the door whenever they came back from dance practices and recordings. Yoongi had been telling them that something felt off, but whenever they confronted the maknae about it, he would dismiss it as not feeling well, or would even go as far as to ignore them completely.

It had gotten to the point where Yoongi insisted that they get inside Jungkook’s room and adjoining bathroom. The night they did that, using Namjoon to break down the door after Jungkook would not open, they discovered Jungkook stood with a razor blade hovered above his wrist. Yoongi had wasted no time and had knocked the razor out of his hand, bundling the younger up in his arms and whisking him away to talk. Yoongi was always the best at this, being experienced himself in the matter of depression. Yoongi still had his bad days, but he would spend them curled up next to either Hoseok or Jin while he voiced his feelings to the whole group.

And Jin was now feeling that exact same feeling. He needed to get to Jungkook. He needed to know he was okay. “Jungkook, if you don’t open the door, I’m going to have to break it down myself.” There was still no answer.

Jin was terrified. What if the maknae had cut too deep and had been bleeding out in the bathroom for the past few hours? What if he had tried to kill himself and been injured badly? What if he had killed himself?

“Joon!” Jin called out for the younger member as he ran to the man’s studio, banging on the door. Namjoon opened the door, looking both hopeful and scared.

“Have they found her? Is she alive?” Jin felt his heart break at the look on Namjoon’s face.

“Oh, Joonie, no, I’m sorry. They haven’t found her yet.” He said, pulling the younger into a hug. “But it’s Kook. I’m worried about him. I’m getting the same feeling I did before. I’m scared Joon. I can’t lose two of them.”

“What do you need me to do?”

--------------------

Taehyung was curled up in Hoseok’s side, tear tracks running down his sleep-swollen cheeks. Every single night, he had cried himself to sleep for the loss of Y/N, as well as Yoongi and Jungkook, and it broke Hoseok’s heart at how hurt they all were. He wanted to kill Jackson for putting them all through this. The police were in the process of locating him - they were getting in touch with the tracking company to request the location of the phone, but it was taking longer than wanted as the company was not open on the weekend. This had made Bang PD-nim start to look into other tracking companies that were open 24/7 just in case this happened again, which Hoseok prayed it didn’t.

He glanced over at the clock and saw it was almost time for dinner. Taehyung had completely lost his appetite, so Hoseok had been forcing him to eat to keep himself healthy. They had all been forcing themselves to eat, apart from Jungkook who had locked his bedroom door and was not coming out at all.

He rubbed a hand over Tae’s back gently, a faint smile ghosting over his lips when he felt his hand tighten on his shirt, the longer fingers twisting the fabric.

“Tae baby, you need to wake up. We need to go and eat.” Hoseok said softly, making Taehyung whine and nestle into him.

“No Hobi hyung, I’m not hungry.” He said, his deep voice scratchy and slurred.

“I know, baby, but we have to. We need to keep healthy. It’s what Y/N would want.” Hoseok reminded him. Taehyung shook his head.

“I’m not hungry! I don’t want to eat! I just want Y/N back!” Taehyung cried. Hoseok sighed sympathetically and pulled the younger on top of him, wrapping his arms around his back.

“I know, baby, I know. So do I. But if we aren’t healthy, we could be in hospital when they find her, okay? She wouldn’t want us to hurt ourselves.” Hoseok said softly. “So let’s go down and have some ramen and then we can come back here and cuddle okay?”

“Can we see if Jungkookie wants to come eat with us?” Taehyung looked at his hyung. Hoseok nodded and stroked his cheek gently.

“Of course we can.” He kissed Tae’s forehead. “Come on, let’s go.”

----------

Jimin pushed open Yoongi’s bedroom door with his foot, his hands carrying two bowls of rice and kimchi. Yoongi hadn’t been doing too well; the pain of losing Y/N as well as the guilt of hurting Jungkook had not settled with him at all and continuously made him feel worse as the days dragged on. Jimin hoped that it would be over soon.

“Hyung, I’ve got us some food.” Jimin said softly, setting the bowls down on the bedside table before climbing onto the bed. Yoongi hummed and pulled the younger onto his lap. “How are you feeling?” He asked, pressing a kiss to Yoongi’s cheek.

“Not good.” Yoongi replied. “I feel awful, actually. I just wish Jungkookie would let me talk to him. That’s one thing I can fix.” Jimin nodded and grabbed the bowls.

“It’s okay, hyung. It will all be okay.” The smaller boy comforted him before lifting some rice to his hyung’s mouth. “Now eat something, please.”

“I’m really not hungry, Jiminie.” Yoongi said, glancing at the chopsticks in front of him.

“I know, but Hobi hyung said we need to eat to stay healthy because that’s what Y/N would want.” Jimin said, holding the chopsticks in front of his mouth. “Just a few mouthfuls, please, I don’t want you to get ill.”

“Fine.” Yoongi opened his mouth and allowed Jimin to feed him. “You know, I should be the one taking care of you because I’m older.”

“But you’re my boyfriend and I love you.” Jimin reminded him. “So I’m allowed to take care of you.”

“How are you feeling?” Yoongi asked, taking the bowl out of Jimin’s hands and putting his hands on his waist. Jimin stilled. He hadn’t admitted how he was feeling just yet. Not even to himself. He had pushed his feelings down so he could take care of Yoongi.

“I...” Jimin trailed off, making Yoongi narrow his eyes at him. “I don’t know...”

“Okay, Jiminie. That’s okay. You’re probably feeling so many things that you can’t distinguish between each one.” Yoongi said. He reached over and took some rice out of the bowl with the chopsticks. “Your turn.” Jimin opened his mouth and ate the rice.

“Hyung? Why don’t you go and see if Jungkookie will talk to you? Jin hyung said he hadn’t left his room in ages. I’m scared for him.” Jimin said after swallowing his mouthful of rice.

“I can try, baby. After we finish eating I’ll try and talk to him, okay?” Yoongi stroked Jimin’s hair out of his face. “You eat too, little one.”

“I’m only one centimetre shorter than you, Min Yoongi!” Jimin playfully hit Yoongi’s arm.

“Yeah but you’re still my little one since you’re younger than me and everything about you is tiny and cute.” Yoongi said taking Jimin’s smaller hands in his.

“My dick isn’t small, hyung!” Jimin whined. Yoongi hummed and kissed Jimin’s forehead.

“Yes, but it is smaller than everyone else.” Yoongi pointed out. “But I love each and every part of you.” He leaned up and pecked Jimin on the lips. “Thank you for cheering me up.”

“I love you.” Jimin grabbed his bowl and began to eat. “I miss Y/N, though. I’m worried for her.”

“I miss her too.” Yoongi replied, a frown on his face. “I want to kill him for taking her. I need her back with me.”

“She needs to be back with all of us. I don’t even want to think about what’s happening to her. She must be in so much pain.” Jimin set down his bowl.

“But the police are finding their location as soon as they can and as soon as that has been found, we will have Y/N back with us.” Yoongi said. Jimin knew that he was seeing the positive side of things, and trying not to think of the worst-case scenario.

“Okay, I’m going to go and talk to Jungkook.” Yoongi finished his rice and set the bowl aside. “Why don’t you go and have a shower? I’ll be back soon.”

--------------------

Everything felt grey to Jungkook. Just grey. One of the seven lights of his life were gone and the others had dimmed to nothing, leaving everything murky shades of grey. He was wearing one of his tshirts that Y/N would always wear for bed. It smelt like her and that helped the aching hole inside of me, but it did nothing for the endless amounts of guilt he felt.

This was all his fault. If only he had gone home with her, then she would still be with them. He was stupid and not worthy of being her soulmate.

His door had been locked since she had been taken and every so often one of his hyungs would knock and beg him to open. But he couldn’t let them in. He didn’t want to be met with their disappointed faces. He probably wouldn’t be able to ever face them again.

He stretched his arms, ignoring the pain that lanced from his wrists and the growling of his empty stomach. He looked down at his forearms and saw his bandages had become bloody. Time to change them. The cuts would only fuel his hyungs disappointment in him if they found out.

He shuffled into the bathroom, avoiding his image in the mirror, knowing that he looked awful with an unshaved face and unwashed hair. He unwrapped the bandages and rinsed his arms under the water to wash off the blood.

Cut more You deserve it You deserve this pain It’s all your fault

Ever since Y/N had been taken the voices had come back and Jungkook had succumbed to what they were telling him to do. He looked at his arms, the red lines criss-crossing the lengths of his forearms, slashing through some of his tattoos.

That’s it Jungkook Let yourself feel what Y/N is feeling Your hyungs are so disappointed in you You should just end it all now

Jungkook’s fingers wrapped around the bloodied razor he had been using. He slashed it over his wrists again.

Go deeper Jungkook Deep enough to kill But not yet You still have to suffer

Jungkook pressed harder, his skin splitting apart and blood running out, streaming down his arms. He sobbed to himself, the neverending pressure of the guilt weighing down on him, making him feel like he couldn’t breathe. He slammed his hands onto the sink, leaving bloodied handprints and smears on the white porcelain before staggering over to his room and collapsing on the bed, letting him exhaustion wash over him. He hadn’t cut deep enough to kill himself. He had to suffer more first.

--------------------

Yoongi could feel something was wrong. Very wrong. Wrong enough to make his stomach churn and his heart pound faster. He sat up quickly, accidentally waking up Jimin who hummed and looked around sleepily.

“Go back to sleep, Min.” Yoongi said softly. “I’ll be back soon. I’m just going to check on Jungkook.” He kissed Jimin softly and gently pushed him down so he was lying down. Jimin hummed and closed his eyes, a hand clutching at the blankets surrounding him. He smiled at the younger boy before slipping out the room and making his way over to Jungkook’s room.

When he got there, he saw Jin and Namjoon attempting to break down the door. Yoongi looked at the pair of them with an eyebrow raised.

“He’s been in there too long, Yoongs. This ends now. He needs to know that we all love him and want him around and that we don’t blame him. He needs to know that you don’t blame him.” Jin said, stepping back as Namjoon rammed his shoulder into the door, a loud bang echoing through the house. Namjoon hissed but ignored the apparent pain as he continued to bang into the door. There was a loud crack and the door swung open.

“Oh God!” Jin screamed, hands covering his mouth. Yoongi’s heart stopped. No. Not Jungkook too. He couldn’t lose both of them.

He pushed Jin out of the way and was met with the sight of blood. So much blood. Jungkook was lying on his bed, eyes closed. Yoongi watched closely hoping and praying to see the rise and fall of his chest. He saw Jungkook breathe and it was steady.

“Joon, take Jin hyung somewhere else. I’ve got this.” Yoongi said, rubbing Namjoon’s shoulder. The younger looked hesitant but led Jin away. Yoongi took a deep breath and entered the room. There was a lot of blood, covering the bedsheets and Kookie’s arms. There were smears on the wall in the shapes of fingers and hands, where he had clearly dragged himself to bed. Yoongi felt his heart break. Not his Kookie. His happy bunny.

“I’m so sorry, baby. I am so so sorry.” He said, stroking the youngest’s hair before going into the bathroom to get some warm water and disinfectant and bandages. They needed to be careful with Jungkook now. He gently reached out and took hold of Jungkook’s hand, straightening out his arm so he could clean away all the blood and germs. He dipped one of the towels into the water and squeezed it before wiping it over the maknae’s arms.

“Oh, Kookie.” He sighed, seeing the numerous cuts that were still healing - some being scabbed over, but others still open. He sprayed some disinfectant over his arms and wrapped bandages around them. “I’m so sorry, baby. Hyung is so sorry.” Yoongi felt awful. If only he hadn’t yelled at Jungkook then this would not have happened.

He quickly cleaned up the room before collapsing on the bed next to the younger boy. “I love you so much, Jeon Jungkook.” He whispered before closing his eyes and pulling the younger closer to him. He kissed his forehead before allowing himself to fall asleep next to the maknae.

--------------------

When Jungkook woke up he could feel arms around his waist which was strange considering he had locked his door. He frowned as he opened his eyes, looking around his room to figure out what was going on. His arms had been bandaged and cleaned which he didn’t remember doing, and his door was open. He paused. They must have knocked down the door.

He looked over his shoulder and saw the sleeping face and faded blond hair of his hyung, Yoongi. He gulped. He didn’t want to have this conversation. Not now, and if he got his way, not ever. He should just run away from them and never return. Then he would never have to face them for what he has done.

He pushed himself out of Yoongi’s arms and walked over to his wardrobe, throwing his clothes into some bags.

“What do you think you’re doing, mister?” He heard a sleepy yet stern voice ask from behind him.

“Noth-nothing?” Jungkook winced as his voice rose in pitch at the end, making it sound like he wasn’t sure about what he was saying.

“Really? ‘Cause it looks like you’re packing a bag of clothes.” Yoongi sat up in the bed, the sheets rustling. “Now put it down and come here.” Jungkook paused and reluctantly set down the bag before shuffling over to the bed and perching on the end.

“Look, hyung, I know it’s all my fault, can you please just leave me alone.” Jungkook said, but Yoongi ignored him and pulled him closer by his waist, being wary of his injured arms.

“Just listen to me, Koo, please.” Koo. He hadn’t been called that since Y/N had been taken. He felt a pang in his heart as he sniffled. He sighed and wiped his eyes as he looked at his hyung. Yoongi’s eyes softened as he reached out and wiped a stray tear from Jungkook’s cheek.

“I am so sorry I said that to you. I should never have said that. I was just angry and upset and I know that this is not a good excuse, but I just took it out on you. It’s not your fault. You were looking out for her and called someone to bring her home. How would you know that Sejin would have been intercepted and his phone stolen?”

Jungkook pursed his lips. He could hear what Yoongi was saying to him, but it wasn’t sinking in. He didn’t feel any less guilty. “But I should have gone home with her! I should have walked her to the car and made sure that it was actually Sejin. We all know how many people are out there to hurt us and I let my guard down, thinking that for one day there wouldn’t be hate or someone that wanted to hurt her, and look what happened!”

“Jungkook, stop, please!” Yoongi pulled the younger onto his lap, so Jungkook was facing him, legs either side of his hyung’s lap. “Stop beating yourself up about this. This is not your fault. It will never be your fault. None of us blame you. So, please, stop blaming yourself.”

“But-” Jungkook was quietened by Yoongi pressing a finger to his lips.

“So just stop blaming yourself. No buts, okay? We all love you, so much, and we were so worried when you didn’t come out of your room for days.” Yoongi gently lifted up Jungkook’s arm. “And now we know that this is one of the reasons for your hiding...” He trailed off, looking pointedly at the bandages on Jungkook’s arms.

“I’m sorry, hyung, I just, I needed to.” Jungkook sobbed.

“Hey, don’t cry, baby, please don’t cry.” Yoongi’s voice cracked as he pulled Jungkook into his chest. “We’ve got you. We’re always going to be here for you, okay? We can talk to you, be there for you, give you all of the cuddles in the world. Just please, don’t hurt yourself again. It’s dangerous and it could kill you, Koo.”

“That’s what I wanted.” Jungkook whispered.

“Shit, Kook.” Yoongi froze and stiffened. “No, no, no, baby, no.” He held onto Jungkook’s jaw, his thumb stroking gently. “Just talk to us, don’t lock yourself away. We’re going to help you through this, okay? It’s all going to be okay.”

“But I’m not okay, hyung. And I don’t think I ever will be until she’s back with us.” Jungkook had tears running down his cheeks. Yoongi did too.

“Neither am I, baby. But if we stick together, we should be alright.” Yoongi said. “I love you, so much, Jeon Jungkook. I hope you know that.”

“I love you more, Min Yoongi.” Jungkook leaned his forehead against Yoongi’s.

“Oh, I don’t think that’s possible, baby boy.” Yoongi kissed his lips. “I’m so glad you’re okay.”

“Thank you.” Jungkook said, resting his head on Yoongi’s shoulder.

“You’re welcome, little prince.” Yoongi kissed his forehead. They cuddled for a while before Jimin. burst into the room.

“Hyung, they found her!”

#sub!reader #sub!taehyung #sub!jimin #sub!jungkook #switch!jin #dom!hoseok #dom!yoongi #dom!namjoon #bts #bts ot7 #bts smut #bts fluff #bts x reader #boys with luv #soulmate au #danger #bts angst

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yellowsuitcase · 3 years

Text

Bliss // Draco Malfoy

Request: i was thinking it would be really cute if the plot is like it’s draco and y/n 1 year anniversary and they’ve never ya know and so they both decide they’re ready before their anniversary rolls around so on their 1 year he makes the day special and all romantic and the room with rose petals and everything and is super loving and careful and sweet with her since it’s their first time

A/N: This sat in my drafts half-finished for so long and I fINALLY got around to finishing it, thank god. Hope you enjoy!

Summary: It’s Y/N and Draco’s one year anniversary and they have big plans.

Warning(s): SMUT!!! Loss of virginity (male & female), swearing, (pretty) soft sex.

Word Count: 2.9k

{Not my gif}

Y/N’s leg was jumping up and down as she sat in her last lesson. She’d been anxious the entire day. It was early March, the second to be exact. This happened to be her and Draco’s one-year anniversary, and the pair had big plans for that night. A few days ago, Draco had asked Y/N if she was ready. It wasn’t hard to figure out what he was implying. They had agreed early into their relationship that sex wasn’t a must-have for them. But after a year of being absolutely infatuated with one another, they decided their anniversary would be the perfect day.

Now that the day had come, though, Y/N realized she was terrified. She feared it wouldn’t be good that she wouldn’t be good. However, she also knew she loved Draco and that if he truly loved her too, she had nothing to worry about. Her anxious thoughts were interrupted by the bell. Without hesitating, Y/N dashed from Flitwick’s classroom and started making her way towards the library. Draco had explicitly instructed her not to come to the common room until after dinner, so she had quite some time to kill. What better to do to distract her than burying herself in her schoolwork?

Y/N took a seat at a desk in front of the far-end bookshelves. Snape had assigned yet another essay. With a sigh, she pulled out parchment from her school bag as well as her quill and got to work.

-------

Y/N woke with a start. She found herself lying on top of her essay, a bit of drool had dribbled onto it. Hastily, she wiped her mouth and took in her surroundings. She was still in the library. “Fuck,” she muttered. The sun wasn’t in the sky anymore; the only light in the library was from the sparsely placed candlesticks. Y/N sighed and began packing up her things, ready to take a nice shower before bed. However, as she was stuffing her quill back into her bag, she remembered Draco. A steady stream of cuss words flew from her mouth as she jumped up from her seat and ran out of the library. Fuck, I’m gonna be late. Will Draco be upset with me? Fucking hell, how did I even fall asleep? She asked herself as she dashed down the dungeon steps.

Soon enough, however, she arrived at the door to the Slytherin common room. She uttered the password and practically threw herself through the entryway, causing some Slytherins to look at her. Y/N paid them no mind; she made a beeline for the boys' dormitory, not stopping until she reached Draco’s room. It was only then that she was able to take a deep breath and prepare herself for what was to come. She was feeling so many different emotions all at once; excitement, anxiety, eagerness, fear. Yet, despite all that, she placed her hand on the door handle and turned it open.

She was expecting to see Draco sat at his desk, but what she saw instead brought tears to her eyes. The room was dark, only lit by candles. Soft music was playing from a record player, and upon looking at the floor, Y/N saw scattered rose petals that led all the way to Draco. He was standing across from her dressed in a casual yet charming green sweater, his hands behind his back. “Hi,” he said. Y/N, whose hand was over her mouth, shook her head.

“Draco, this is...you didn’t have to do this,” she replied as she began walking towards him. He, too, started walking until both of them met halfway. Y/N looked up at him and saw him smiling at her fondly. Then, he drew his hands from behind his back and presented her with a red rose. She gasped and gently took it from his hand. “Draco, I don’t know what to say. I didn’t have time to grab your present, I fell asleep in the library, and I thought I was gonna be late, so I—”

Draco placed a finger over her rambling mouth, silencing her. “You are all I need. And I don’t care that you’re late, you’re here, and that’s what matters,” he whispered, pulling her close to his chest. Y/N released the tension in her shoulders as Draco began stroking her head, his arms wrapped around her, making her warm. She felt so unbelievably lucky to have a boyfriend like the one cuddled against her. Of course, she’d heard about romantic gestures such as this, and she’d definitely seen them in movies, but never ever did she think someone would do it for her.

Slowly, Y/N felt Draco pull away. She looked at him expectantly and watched as he gulped. He looked nervous. “Are you ready, love?” he asked, his voice barely audible. Y/N could see that he was afraid. She nodded and took his hand into hers.

“Okay,” he breathed. “I must admit I am a bit...afraid, I guess.” Y/N was shocked that he had just confessed this to her. Typically, it would take hours of poking and prodding to get Draco to admit he was fearful of anything. Yet, he’d just willingly declared it to her. She planted a soft kiss onto his knuckle.

“I am too. But I trust you,” Y/N assured him. He couldn’t fight the toothy smile that appeared on his face.

“I trust you too,” he replied. Y/N held her breath as Draco leaned in close. She closed her eyes and felt herself melt as he pressed his lips against hers. Her arousal had been growing all day, and despite her nerves, she couldn’t help but moan when he slipped his tongue into her mouth. She felt him smile as his hands found her waist. A shiver ran down her spine as his cold hands slid upwards beneath her school shirt. Y/N kissed him eagerly, but Draco retained his slow pace. His hands caressed her body as they searched for her bra. She gasped into his mouth as his nimble fingers found it and shakily unhooked the clasp. He dragged her bra off her shoulders and down her front, pulling away to toss it elsewhere.

Y/N found herself growing confident; she reached for Draco’s sweater and yanked it upwards, successfully untucking it from his pants. He laughed as she pulled it up and off his body, leaving his chest bare. Giving in to her temptations, she put her hands on his chest, feeling his heated skin.

Draco pulled her against his body and dove his head forward, connecting his lips with Y/N’s neck where he began sucking. She closed her eyes and started rubbing her thighs together, desperate to hurry things up, but Draco wasn’t having it.

“Slow down, darling. We have all the time in the world,” he told her, his voice sweet and comforting. Y/N groaned as he reached behind her and grabbed her ass, squeezing it playfully. He ignored her pleas for him to touch her and instead began undressing her further. Her shirt went first, and Draco immediately felt her breasts, kneading gently.

"For a virgin, you are quite eager, aren't you?" he teased, making Y/N blush.

Y/N loved the feeling of his hands on her, and she found it pretty funny how his eyes gleamed at the sight of her tits. But then his hands traveled downwards, fondling the hem of her skirt. Y/N looked down, waiting for him to pull the fabric off her, except he didn’t. Instead, his finger guided her face upwards. He laughed at her confused expression.

“Are you sure about this?” he asked as he tapped her clothed hip, a smirk on his lips. Y/N nodded, she knew what was coming, and even though she was afraid, she knew Draco was gonna make her feel good. With her permission, her boyfriend slipped his fingers into the waistband of her skirt and her panties. He kissed her gently as he slowly pulled the fabric down her hips, her thighs, and all the way to the floor. Y/N blushed; she was now acutely aware of her nakedness and couldn't help but feel self-conscious.

It seemed as though Draco noticed this since he hastily reached for his belt, undoing the buckle and shoving his pants down, letting his cock spring free. Y/N bit her lip when she saw how hard he was, how hard she made him. Now that he was naked, Draco reached for her hand. He gripped it firmly as he led her towards the bed. Y/N crawled onto it and laid on her back, immediately crossing her legs. Draco tutted as he, too, got on the bed.

“Don’t hide from me, love. You’re beautiful, and I want to see all of you, please." Y/N could tell his words were genuine, so she slowly spread her legs, exposing her bare pussy to him. “Bloody hell, Y/N. I’m so glad I get to be your first.” Y/N felt the urge to close her legs again, his words sending butterflies to her stomach. But instead, she reached up and pulled his face close to hers. They kissed sweetly, softly. Draco was nearly dizzy from the anxiety running through his veins, but her kiss helped calm his nerves. When she pulled away, he inhaled deeply.

“What?” Y/N asked worriedly. Draco shook his head, dismissing her concern.

“Can I...can I touch you?” he asked, his voice cracking. He had been confident when Y/N first came to his room, but now that they were actually about to do the deed, he felt ten times more afraid.

Y/N felt her heart speed up, but she gave him a nod and watched as he positioned himself between her legs. What she wasn’t prepared for was the shock of pleasure when his fingers stroked her labia. “Holy shit,” she breathed shakily. Draco glanced up at her in panic, ceasing his movements. However, when Y/N bucked her hips against him, he continued stroking. He kept his steady motion until he felt his finger brush up against something. Hesitantly, he placed his fingertip on top of it and gently circled it.

“Oh!” Y/N gasped. She closed her eyes and grabbed Draco’s forearm, holding him still. He stopped his finger and, with his other hand, began stroking Y/N’s thigh.

“What’s wrong? Did it hurt?” he asked, feeling panic return. But then Y/N shook her head.

“No, that’s my clit. Do it again, please,” she begged, her muscles tense. Draco did as she asked and began rubbing his finger against and around her clit. He watched in amazement as she bucked her hips and began squirming, soft breaths falling from her lips. Draco switched his finger out for his thumb. While still stimulating Y/N, he slowly slipped his pinkie finger inside her.

“Oh my god,” she whimpered.

“You’re so tight,” Draco told her as he began sliding his pinkie in and out, slowly but steadily prepping her. After a few minutes, he gradually added another. A sharp hiss from Y/N, however, stopped him in his tracks. “Are you alright? What’s wrong?” he asked frantically.

“It hurts-”

“We can stop; it’s okay,” Draco quickly cut in. But Y/N shook her head adamantly.

“No, I want to do this. The pain has already started to fade just...just go slow, okay?” Draco leaned forward and pressed quick kisses all over her face, not stopping until a smile appeared on her lips.

“I’ll go as slow as you want me to darling, I’ve got you,” he assured her as he started rubbing her again. Y/N nodded and bit her lip as the tingly feeling returned. She couldn’t help but roll her hips, wanting more friction. Draco took this as a hint to add another finger, so he slipped his middle digit inside. He had to take a moment to close his eyes when he saw Y/N’s pussy clench around his fingers. “That feels good, love?” he asked.

“It’s starting to. Keep going,” Y/N replied. He heeded her words and slowly began expanding his fingers within her, stretching her out. Y/N continued rolling her hips and breathing heavily. In and out, in and out. When Draco deemed her properly prepared, he withdrew his fingers, causing Y/N to whine. He laughed lightly as he reached towards his nightstand and reached into the drawer. Y/N’s eyes watched as he pulled out a condom and ripped the paper, but just as he was about to roll it on, she grabbed his wrist.

“Let me,” she whispered. Draco had to hold back a moan as she slipped the condom from his hands and placed it on the head of his dick. He gripped the bed sheets and watched his girlfriend gently slide her hand down his cock, bringing the condom with it. Draco thought he might lose himself just from that, but he quickly closed his eyes and steadied his breathing. When he opened them again, he found Y/N laying on the bed again, legs spread. He raised an eyebrow, silently asking if she was ready. She replied by making grabby hands towards him.

Excitedly, Draco grabbed her thighs and pulled her body towards him until her pussy touched his dick. Y/N gasped and, before she could control herself, bucked her hips. “Shit, if you keep doing that, I won’t be able to hold back,” Draco warned. Y/N completely ignored him and proceeded to grind on him, letting her body give in to her urges. Her boyfriend groaned and savored the feeling before pulling away. He then rubbed his fingers against her. “You’re so wet,” he remarked as he used her arousal to lube up his cock. Once he finished, he looked up at Y/N.

“You ready?” he asked, checking in once more just to make sure.

“Yes, please. I want to feel you,” Y/N whined. That was all Draco needed to hear. He aligned the tip of his cock with her entrance and, while taking a deep breath, pushed himself inside, not stopping until all of it was swallowed by her cunt.

“Motherfucker, you’re so big, oh my god,” Y/N cursed, her eyebrows scrunched together as she waited for her body to adjust to his size. Draco gripped her thighs, trying to hold himself back from pulling out and slamming back into her. She felt so good around him. He could feel her walls pulsing against his cock; it was beginning to drive him wild. But then Y/N started wriggling and moaning.

“Move,” she demanded. Draco wasted no time; he pulled his hips back until only his tip was left inside her, then he slowly pushed forwards, groaning as his dick was once again enveloped in her hot pussy. “You feel fucking amazing, Y/N, shit,” he cussed, continuing to fuck into her steadily. Y/N didn’t reply; she felt breathless as he slid in and out of her. And when his hand returned to her clit, she nearly screamed. The room filled with sweet sounds of moans and pants as the couple made love.

“Faster Draco, please,” she begged, reaching for his hand. Draco quickly intertwined his fingers with hers and gripped her tight. He began to pick up his pace, watching as Y/N arched her back and moaned. “I think I’m getting close,” she whimpered. This made Draco go even faster, her words egging him on.

“So tight around me, baby. So fucking good,” Draco babbled, his teeth gritted as he slammed inside her. Y/N lifted her legs and wrapped them around his waist, allowing him to get a deeper angle into her pussy. She let out little yelps each time his cock hit that spot inside her. She knew her orgasm was approaching. With the way Draco was rubbing her clit and pounding her cunt, there was no way she’d last long.

Draco took notice of Y/N’s desperate moans and clenched fists. “Let go, darling. Cum for me, cum on my cock, baby,” he husked, encouraging her. Y/N shut her eyes and squeezed Draco’s hand as her body jolted, and her orgasm washed over her. The pure blissed-out look on her face sent Draco into a frenzy. He clenched her hand tight and sent a few more sloppy hard thrusts into her before he too reached his high, moaning loudly as he did.

Each of them halted their movements, desperately trying to catch their breaths. Eventually, Draco pulled out and disposed of the condom. Then he flopped down onto the bed beside Y/N, gently pulling her into his arms where he hugged her tight and pressed soft kisses to her nape.

“I love you so much, that was...fucking insane,” he whispered, smiling when he heard her giggle.

“It was way better than I ever could’ve expected. I love you too, Dray. Thank you.”

Y/N turned around in Draco’s embrace and faced him. She reached up and stroked his face, completely enamored by him. Never had she felt so safe, so blissful. There was nobody else she would’ve wanted to lose her virginity to, and she was so glad he had lost his tonight as well. Sure, it was sweaty, awkward, teenage sex. But it was loving and gentle, and most importantly, it was with the love of her life. Sleep soon started to overtake her, and her thumb stopped rubbing Draco’s cheek. But Draco was drifting away too. The couple entered dreamland peacefully, their still sweaty limbs entangled with one another's.

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