#but i Have been writing poetry this whole time mainly bc it's a lot more time friendly so my poetry chops are A+++ idk abt prose tho lmfao

[hauntedbythenarrative]

HI! Sorry for bothering you but i love your Alicent content and webweaving and i loved the quotes you use !.

Do you mind sharing some recs of the books you use for the Alicent web weaving?.

Have a good day!

hi🌸

not a bother at all!! actually the quotes I found aren't from me reading books but just following poetry and lit blogs here on tumblr. usually when I see something that makes me think of her I just save the quote. I have thought before of reading the whole book or poetry collection but I have a pretty long reading list and I try to read in english as much as possible, but I live in italy, so it's not always easy to find books translated or written in english.

if I can attempt to answer your ask. I might say some bullshit...but, in hs I studied ancient greek lit and italian lit pretty hard (it was kinda the point of the hs I attended) but it's been 8 years since I graduated, so my memory isn't perfect. I think alicent mainly gives off 3 vibes: greek tragedies, epic poems and religious writings (but ik nothing about those. there's a whole world of writing inspired by that tho). I feel like medea (for the vengeance theme, not the "kill your children" theme) and antigone would be a good start. I'd like to put the iliad in as well only bc it has range, but you need a lot of patience and focus. I'm kinda biased and I think everyone should know to some degree the iliad...said that, last year I read dead blondes and bad mothers. it doesn't directly link to alicent but it explores the figures of daughters, wifes and mothers (in horror) and sometimes I felt like ,,okay, that's why some people could hate alicent bc of this patriarchal concept. it's a pretty easy, and I my opinion, sometimes basic feminist essay, but I mostly read novels, so that's the most you can get from me (for now) when it comes to essays. I'd also like to throw shakespeare in but I haven't read him in such a long time. don't wanna say sth potentially wrong but alicent makes me think a lot of ophelia (it sounds basic, ik).

I'm really thankful for the love and I hope this answer isn't a bummer. I'd love to give book recs but what i've read last year and what I read this year isn't v alicent-coded. but I'm sure the more I'll get into classics (again) the more I'll find something that fits. I'm just not in the most intellectual mood rn lol.

so, yeah, sorry if it is disappointing :((

[songofwizardry]

so for the past few years, i have made a list of 'things i really liked this year' in december, and it's never gone beyond ramblings in my notes app, but this year, finally, it is going on tumblr! mainly bc i enjoy talking about things and i can guarantee i will have forgotten about some of these things in a year and i like records.

so, here we go—a fairly chaotic list of media i enjoyed in 2023 (with links where possible!)

words (prose, poetry, etc):

the word for world is forest by Ursula K. Le Guin [prose]: i have been intending to read this for years, and i finally picked it up at the start of 2023, and it is incredible. it's fairly brutal, but it was... idk, i have not read anything else that captures the violence inherent in colonisation and the effects of the decolonial project this well. what a book

your emergency contact has experienced an emergency by Chen Chen [poetry collection]: this poetry collection was very good and pretty fucking heavy (cw for homophobia throughout) and extremely emotional and made me feel many, many seventeen-year-old-me feelings. honourable mentions to higher education (excerpt here) and doctor's note.

a master of djinn by P. Djèlí Clark [prose]: i did not read as much sff as i wanted to this year, but i did read this one, and it's great. i adore fatma. i want all her outfits. the alternate cairo is super cool. the angels. it's a really good read. there's a pretty good tor dot com review of it here, if you're interested.

darius the great is not okay and darius the great deserves better by Adib Khorram [prose]: i read a truly ridiculous amount of YA this spring/summer. some of it was incredible, some of it was less-so, but i thought at least one YA book should be on here. this was one of my favourites. both books are lovely, a really-well written look at both living with depression and the challenges and joys of being a mixed-race kid. also, Sohrab is a sweetie.

audio & music (yes music-y videos are in here don't question my organisation):

now and for always from the Watermill theatre's revival of the lord of the rings musical [music + video]: i have loved the soundtrack of this musical for years, and then the Watermill ran it over the summer and i had the incredible luck to go watch it, and it was phenomenal. this song makes me cry literally always, Nuwan Hugh Perera as Sam is amazing, and the whole musical but particularly this song with actor-musicians worked so well.

solidarity forever with Billy Bragg at the elmwood starbucks strike [music + video]: i started off this year on strike, and as such was both picking picket music and listening to a lot of Billy Bragg just for. general motivation yknow. anyway this video is posted by Aisling Ayers, who got up to sing with Billy Bragg, and it's really good. it makes me emotional every time.

artist: known from WBUR's Endless Thread [podcast]: this episode was how i got into Endless Thread, which is great fun on my commute, and – as a wrinkle in time fan – the history behind the artist of the cover was fascinating. it's a really interesting episode, and it made me emotional about old sff art.

you're gonna go far by Noah Kahan, from stick season (we'll all be here forever) [music]: this album is actually one of the very few new pieces of english language music i listened to all year (ok this and the new Hozier album) and honestly it's such a good album, incredible song after incredible song. this one is my favourite though. i have been writing more this year, and this one has been on repeat while i've been writing for the last few months.

video:

disney channel's theme: a history mystery by Defunctland [video essay]: look 1 i know we've all watched it by now and 2 yes it was posted in late 2022 but i didn't watch it till 2023 but this may be... my favourite video essay ever? it has everything. the anxiety of wondering if the mystery will be solved. the twist. the impeccable fucking editing. the emotions. the little aside about being a documetarian. it's so good.

the largest telescope that will ever be built* by Tom Scott [video]: we have one (1) more of Tom Scott's regular monday videos before he goes on leave/sabbatical/etc, and he has given us so many gems over the last several years, it's hard to even pick a favourite from this year. but this one is really fucking good. i'm biased though, there's telescopes in this one.

rehearsing a string quartet while speaking different languages by TwoSetViolin [video]: ("salmon, why is this not in the music section?" because there are no rules. this is my list). i fell down a TwoSetViolin rabbit hole at the start of the year, and you must understand i know nothing about music. can't play a single instrument. can't read sheet music. absolutely fuck all. but i am obsessed with this video. i can't recommend it enough. it's hilarious, it's an incredible show of skill, my multilingual heart enjoyed it immensely, and they clearly had a lot of fun with the subtitles and notes.

escape the greenroom - Gamechanger season 5 episode 9 [video, dropout exclusive]: if you are not watching Gamechanger yet i cannot emphasise how much you should because it is honestly fucking incredible, and every season has done more and more weird and fun things with the format, but season 5 really blew the previous ones outta the water. this episode was incredible. i won't spoil it, but here's the opening on YouTube shorts. if you have watched it, it's 100% worth a rewatch btw

plagiarism and you(tube) by hbomberguy [video essay]: you knew it was coming. it's the video of the year. this is the logical conclusion of roblox oof + who wrote caramelldansen + the author of homestuck contacted me just going to a like. whole other level. what a video. more twists than you could ever predict. iconic work. well worth the several hours.

to hurt is to heal - critical role campaign 3 episode 79 [actual play]: i've been so good. i have not put any cr on here so far. everything else on here you do not need to watch several hundred hours of media to understand. there had to be at least one though, because of who i am as a person. anyway this may be my... favourite cr episode ever? at least in my top 3. (no spoilers, promise.) it's got fey bullshit. it's got a fun twist thing i didn't see coming. it's got... asmr? it's got reveals stacked on reveals in a precarious jenga tower. great episode.

ok. there are several more things that could've ended up on this list (including more books and a lot of not-English music), but i will stop here. 2023 has been a wild, wild year with a lot of really incredible happenings and some fairly Intense Times, but hey, let's see what 2024 brings—probably more video essays and more podcasts and more critical role compilations, and (maybe?? if we're lucky???) alecto the ninth. happy new year, folks!

[jentlemahae]

What are your hopes for tpd?? Hope it's a safe space to share mine, u don't have to post it tho if u don't want to.

I hope it's not just a breakup album or falling in love album, ik there are going to be heartbreak songs but right now I feel like Taylor has such a huge opportunity to create an album using the break up as just a backdrop while writing about the complexities that follow it bcs his was her longest relationship and it wasn't just a break up bw 2 people but also saying goodbye to a whole life and kind of a second family and city. It would be amazing to write about going through shit in her personal life but thriving in her professional life and how confusing and complex it can be. It may be controversial but apart from a few songs her albums are 90% about love and heartbreak and we already jave red as a break up album so it would eb cool to explore different concepts this time especially since it looks like it's I spired by poetry.

What are your though and hopes?

mmmh given that she’s been writing it since she was done with midnights, i think there are very very very good chances it’s about her heartbreak / the love ending and coming to terms with needing to leave even if maybe she was still in love, and since she said she finished it while on tour i think there will be songs about the beginning of the aftermath of the breakup (like i don’t think it will include travis). but tbh, even though it will be technically a heartbreak album, i think it will be very different from red bcs the relationships are cosmically different — with jg it was her first *adult* relationship with a sizeable age gap and it was a lot of back and forth between them, while she was building a future with joe and their downfall was mainly his lack of effort by the end. it will still be about HER view of the situation tho so i think it will be more introspective that narrative

i have more wishes for the sound tho bcs i know it will be pop but honestly i wish she’d do country again 😭 or at least very instrumental 🥲

[evandorepart2]

omg so my dad and i were talking about the future and stuff and things and he told me that my best option was pursuing a creative career and look into writing more seriously. so i am. by that ive found a bunch of magazines and stuff so im gonna start writing to submit things into there + i made a whole list of ideas or older stuff i could possibly rewrite split into novels / short stories / poetry + flash fiction

so the goal now is to like. i guess just write and build up my portfolio lol i mean its not like i Havent been writing but its mainly been fanfics which hmmm dont rlly consider that. as real writing no offense. thats mainly just been practice. ill make like a sideblog and stuff to post it all etc etc but for now i have to focus on my submissions. currently theres two im looking at since theyre open - though one i couldnt find a deadline? so ill be saying before the end of december but idk. other is late january so i have time

the rest either reopen january or later in the year so ill get to it when i get to it.

anyway my two things; one is a series of poems under the theme of Intersections. which i have titled very originally as [the soulmate / the meadow / the boar (the beetle]. take with that as you will lol

the second is a horror - science fiction with a focus on magical realism. so it Has to be grounded in reality. which im doing a short story about Grief, your lover as a ghost and your house is your graveyard.

i have drafts for both done but im gonna be rewriting like. lots and lots and lots. and obv cant share anything until after i submit and im rejected or accepted. if im being honest i do Not have super high hopes bc this is my first time ever doing this and also the ppl i see getting accepted are like multi published authors with multiple degrees and i am a highschool dropout who struggles writing a single paragraph. so um but its whatever i think just the act of actually Finishing and Submitting is the best in the world. and i can always rewrite stuff as i get older or submit to other magazine - esp the ghost story it fits a few other ones i have my eye on.

butttt yea! very happy to have something to work towards i guess! and finally be able to say that i am a writer and have something to show for it :)

[aurltas]

author interview tag (!)

aaAAAA ty to @backcountry-deltora for tagging me!!! much loveee <333 i haven’t been looped into a tag game for so so long and this is making me feel 10000% better about the fact that i have not written a single fic related thing in MONTHS o)-( but i love to talk about writing and myself so here we go,,

Name: i went by crystal silvera on ffn and here for the longest time so a lot of ppl know me as crystal but my Real(TM) name is dani and my ao3 name is auritas so like take ur pick haha

Fandoms: currently in mxtx hell (im a mdzs main, to the shock of no one) but my og fandoms that i am still very much attached to are deltora quest (the OG og), young wizards, the raven cycle, and yuri on ice

Where you post: ao3 alllll the way babey (but i originated from ffn and still have some stuff up there.......it’s Not Good tho)

Most popular one-shot: oh boy i knew this was gonna be a popular one bc i only wrote like?? rambly reflective thematic pieces(?) before this, my First Attempt At Fluff lmao. even then, But we’re alive (because we bleed) still exceeded my expectations by far in terms of reception, probs bc mdzs was such an up and coming fandom at the time and i posted it right on the crest of that cql wave

Most popular multi-chapter fic: obviously where the light goes, also known as my beloved CHILD !!!! i don’t write multichaps anymore but this is 2 long ass chapters so ig that’s Technically a multichap haha,,, yeah i knew this one was gonna be popular for the same reasons as the previous one + the very intentional tipping of the scale i did here with the balance of fluff and other things. like this is just pure distilled sugar it’s so so fluffy

Favourite story you’ve written so far: oh mannnn i gotta say where the light goes. especially that first chapter, just,, damn. what was i ON ?? its so good!! what the heck!!! quite proud of my metaphor work there, even if balancing prose/poetry feel is very stilted at times . in terms of that balance i think i did a Really good job with and neither did the both of us bc i went back and reread where the light goes for inspiration and i was like “oh god this is DROWNING in metaphors i need to lighten it up a little”

Fic you were nervous to post: i was nervous about where the light goes bc i had such high expectations going in, like i Knew people were craving what i had but i was like, did i do it right?? will this be my breakthrough in the mdzs fandom??? and it sort of was and sort of wasn’t, which,, fair. also SUPER nervous for astriferous bc i had written it all in like, one (1) day and it was for an exchange LMFAOOO (and you can really tell it was all written in one go......it was only when i hit the end that it got Good)

How you choose your titles: when i write fic i’m often scrapbooking a TON of different things together so titles are often just whatever it is i’m already drawing from. there are a few exceptions, like here, then, begins the mending, or and i need nothing more where a phrase popped into my head during the writing/drafting/brainstorming process and i was like OH THAT’S REALLY GOOD. TITLE IT IS

Do you outline?: usually only if it’s plot-driven, like my (incomplete for . Reasons) (ok i was being pestered bc i took it as a prompt and my promptee was. hm) YW multichap equilibrium, for which i outlined EVERYTHING. it was so annoying but i also lowkey liked it because these were MY messy outline notes and i could go as ham as i’d like

Complete: everything that’s posted !! except equilibrium ofc . that’s gonna stay where it is unless by some miracle of nature i get my momentum back for it

In progress: i am working on another jaslief oneshot!!! and for my mdzs folks i have been working on a rly long lesbian songxiao oneshot for a Very long time and it’s . mwah (i showed it to one of my friends and she lost her mind so i think i can say that with confidence)

Coming soon: probably nothing until i’m released from ochem/thesis hell hahahahahahahaaa but if anything were to come out this year it would be the songxiao most likely !

Do you accept prompts?: not after what happened last time !!!! ;o; until i’m done with school altogether, i really need writing to remain something For Me

Upcoming story you’re the most excited to write?: i wanna finish my jaslief SOOOO bad oh my god . i put in so much self-indulgence in there and used what i learned from where the light goes to make it REALLY good n thematic. like don’t get me wrong i am also so excited for my songxiao but i wrote it with some uhhhhh Influence from things i was going through irl and it feels weighty now?? idk i’ll work it out eventually,, i’ve also had oubing fic brewing in my head for literally a year and i REALLY wanna write some pynch in the barns/cabeswater content. let me write about dreamthings and nATURE

Upcoming story you’re most excited about?: bold of u to assume i read multichapters anymore HAHAHA i rotate through the same library of 100 one-shots i have bookmarked now......but back when i did read multichaps i was REALLY into the work of iruutciv + orchids_and_fictional_cities team from yoi, they were absolute LEGENDS and their fic and miles to go before i sleep changed me as a person lmao (i also did read part of their ongoing but monsters are always hungry, darling and i’m actually still in their discord for it but it is SO so intricately crafted and i fell out of the loop and didn’t rly get back in) . currently i follow megafaunatic aka etymologyplayground’s work the most closely for my mxtx fix (my fav from them currently is probably you, asleep and dreaming)

tagging: @lenawin4 and uhhhhhhh anyone else who feels like doing this?? for my life i cannot recall any other writers off the top of my head rn o)-(

[kstrolotea]

Hi! May I take part on your free readings, please?

Hmmm... about me, I'm recently playing Animal Restaurant again and I think it's very fun. I love cute animals and food but I hate when a character comes to steal, someone orders food that I can't unlock or stinks the whole place lol (I usually don't notice bc I'm tapping as fast as I can to get customers)

If there's a song (or at least one I really like) is Momotaro by Wednesday Campanella. The tale is also very lively, imagine being born from a peach (is like Kaguya being born from bamboo)

And my fav flower could be lilly of the valley, I would like to have a tattoo with some

If it's okay, it would be nice if clairvoyance or tarot is used. The questions are:

1. What's my ideal career?

2. How will be my life in three years?

3. Am I with my future spouse? (Most of the time I've had readings that sound like him)

Thank you!!!

Thank you for allowing me to read for you! Please send feedback letting me know how accurate the mentions of your current situation are and how things play out for you❤️

~

I see you working somewhere quiet. you’re at a desk in a bedroom on a rainy day. it’s possible you live in the uk, ireland, or somewhere near there. the colors of the room are a soft pink and orange with some white, beige, and browns. you work for yourself or a small company. possibly a freelance copywriter or graphic designer. things feel cozy and peaceful. you are on a call with someone who speaks softly. it is rare that you speak to people over the phone. i see you doing mainly writing. this feels creative and peaceful to you. maybe you’re writing a book in your spare time. your boyfriend makes you coffee in the kitchen for when you get off your call to take a break soon.

page of swords, the lovers, knight of swords - it will feel very fresh and inspiring. things seem balanced and warm. in a commuted relationship—engaged to be married very soon to someone you’ve known for awhile. lots of projects and activities. you are always moving on to something new. very intellectually stimulated. possibly back in school or taking a random history of poetry course.

strength - i’m psyching myself out with this one… it feels like you’ve got your eye on someone and you desperately want it to be them so you’re bringing up the topic all the time and sticking yourself to their side like one of those annoying dryer sheets you find up your butt halfway through the day and the experience of finding it completely sours your mood for the rest of the evening. more than an answer, this card feels like a warning sign for you to be patient and chill the fuck out. i’m hearing something about enjoying the present moment instead of worrying about where things are going. i’m seeing you having a boyfriend right now where you’ve been around each other for awhile but the romantic relationship is fairly new, think 3 or 4 months ish, and you keep talking about marriage. not even asking him to marry you directly, but asking him for his hypothetical opinion on wedding cakes or showing him your pinterest board of dresses and rings and it’s freaking him out to the point of wanting to break up with you. your energy feels very frantic and fluttery like a bumblebee and he’s afraid of being stung. i see him shutting down emotionally, wanting to spend way less time with you, and making excuses to be at a friends house overnight or throughout the weekend. maybe he’s planning a trip without you. do you guys live together? did you just move in together within the past couple of months? i’m seeing two toothbrushes on the bathroom sink and you talking with a mouthful of toothpaste while he’s taking a dump so maybe it’s not a new relationship but a new living situation? unless you were friends for awhile and things moved way too quickly so you’re already living together within the first 6 months of making it official. those are the words i’m hearing from his head btw “way too quickly”. you need to be more patient.

[quidfree]

hello ! just wondering, how are warlock and adam doing ? any hcs that didn't make it into the fic? or any thoughts on them that you haven't mentioned? it has been a while since you wrote them so i understand if there's nothing that comes to mind !! just searching for maybe a few crumbs bc i haven't found anyone who writes them nearly as well as you do.

haha, wow, i haven't properly thought of that fic since i wrote it but i do love warlock and adam. let's see what i can offer.

updates on warlock and adam:

they've been fucking around trying to test adam's subconscious control over his powers, with varying degrees of success. adam's longest stretch a full week without any supernatural interference of any variety, but for the moment they are decisively not trying to replicate that success because once the week ended adam's powers went into overdrive and caused global upset as well as leaving warlock thoroughly disney-fied for weeks after the fact, to his profound irritation and adam's supreme amusement. brian enjoyed the veritable zoo of animals tailing him around, though. pepper did not enjoy the constant musical cues. wensleydale thought it was kind of cute. adam insisted that he was powerless to fix it after the 'exhaustion' of fixing the global upset part, which warlock absolutely did not believe given the absolute smugness on his face whenever warlock started sparkling.

on a less consequential level adam and warlock enjoy messing around trying to see to what degree adam can suppress his powers without concentrating on it too hard, but no one else particularly enjoys this because (as pepper puts it) 'you are not fooling anyone into thinking this isn't some kink thing'. warlock pleads the fifth. adam doesn't even bother.

adam is extremely intrigued by warlock's misappopriated demonic/angelic powers, which warlock finds supremely embarrassing given that they can do almost nothing, leave him with a horrible headache, and are in any event completely ineffective on adam himself. adam finds it fascinating, though- for one because despite angels and witches he's in short supply of supernatural friends, for another because he can actively feel that the power does not belong there and adam quintessentially enjoys prodding at a bruise, and of course because he finds warlock's embarrassed pride about his repertoire of tricks suffocatingly adorable. despite warlock's reluctance he does at least appreciate the ace he has, because even though his powers don't work on adam whenever he gets to the point of using them adam knows he's serious, and also adam will inevitably stop being mad at him in the face of his subsequent nausea. never let it be said he's above naked manipulation. gotta make nanny proud.

they've definitely had some extremely melodramatic fights since the fic ended, as is the nature of two antichrists(ish) dating each other. a lot of it is predictable- adam tries, but his powers have less of a conscience than he does, so there have been Incidents, like the time the oxford rowers capsized violently during a race. on a lesser scale the demonic powers are jealous to a fault, which adam really actively isn't (or at least not consciously), which warlock knows full well he should find less charming. it's just sometimes they kind of feed into each other's vices- adam doesn't keep a tight enough rein on his powers and warlock gets mad but also kind of maybe encourages it and then adam gets irked at warlock and...

adam takes great pleasure in being the boyfriend-iest boyfriend of all time, naturally, so reality bends for warlock's convenience if he so much as frowns to himself. warlock is really trying to be less flustered every time because he knows full well it only encourages him, but he's kind of a complete sucker for attention and affection, so it's not going very well for him. he would hate himself more if he wasn't so busy trying not to melt into the floor. adam is horrible and will fully just sit there chin in hands observing him dreamily as warlock fights to regain his cool. still, warlock gets him back as best he can- he's starting to combine crowley's vicious revenge plans with aziraphale's 'kill em with kindness' moves, which results in him darkly plotting just for the purpose of doing something nice that'll catch adam off guard. adam is always thrilled by being hoodwinked, and then also not actually all that used to people making a concerted effort to draw emotions out of him, so he falls prey to these shenanigans more easily than you'd expect. unlike warlock he never offers any resistance, though, so warlock has to content himself with the victory of watching his powers go wonky- blossoms bursting out of the walls or fireworks outside the house or the whole room going sort of liquid and pink.

crowley and aziraphale are both horrible teases with regards to the boys (as they should be, since they get it far worse in return). crowley likes to make pointed comments about lustful auras or needle them about the freudian implications of their behaviours, whereas aziraphale will just go on at length quoting love poetry or asking them about their feelings with the utmost tenderness until crowley takes pity and informs them he's doing it on purpose. they both find them intensely cute, though aziraphale is just delighted by this where crowley is trying very hard to appear less thrilled than he is. warlock is mostly weirded out about their commentary about the supernatural aspects of the whole ordeal, where aziraphale will be like 'oh, my, that poor demon fellow who hit you really seems to be taking badly to the dismembering and hot pokers in the pits of hell. could you pass the ladder?' and crowley will be like 'unholy hell, adam, control yourself, if i have to see one more demonic apocalypse murder-beast turned into an adorable stray cat i'm going to be sick'.

the them, obviously, are also weirdos and like to observe the whole warlock-adam dating debacle with the interest of scientists observing an experiment in a lab, mainly in terms of adam's never-ending capacity to reveal new and exciting facets of his personality and/or powers. brian takes it all in stride the easiest, so he'll just be like 'oh, neat, a peach tree' and take himself a peach when it erupts in the middle of the library. wensleydale somehow winds up playing confidante so he sits through all the over-sharing and also all the fighting details and then does deep research to attempt to provide them with a helpful answer. sometimes he just reads cosmos. he thinks warlock is onto him. pepper's very secret and very dark fear is that one day adam will decide kids would be fun and hellspawn will just pop into existence fully-formed and dangerously adorable. they are all very impressed by the odd occasion on which warlock actually gets adam to decide he was wrong about something, though pepper is firm that it does not count when adam is only agreeing because he's too blissed out to pay attention.

i hope that you enjoy these crumbs-and thanks, incidentally <3 comms are always open, if you're looking.

[fools-of-wna]

walpurga-nacht-academy: 👑🏹🐾 for Dwyn?

Thanks for the ask! :3c

👑 what relationship does your oc have with Vil?

Dwyn holds a general respect for Vil, admiring his work ethic and performances both for school and his career. They don’t quite understand Rosa’s obsession(?) with Vil, but he’s someone Dwyn does look up to. They don’t interact much, but they’re polite and courteous to each other.

🏹 what relationship does your oc have with Rook?

While Dwyn does agree with Rook on certain aspects (Beaute), they have an intense…dislike for him. They’re constantly annoyed by his presence in some way, and disapprove of his rather unique and eccentric observations of certain characters. They’re not the type to be often outright mean to people, but Rook does annoy them enough that they snap a little with a small amount of effort. I imagine it gets worse if Rook finds out Dwyn is half-fae, since they also become a target of sorts. Overall, Dwyn doesn’t like Rook, and he easily ranks the top 3, if not the most annoying NRC student in Dwyn’s mind.

🐾 what relationship does your oc have with Ruggie?

Ok this is a little long, cause I didn’t bother making a simplified version of the whole chunk of relationship stuff that was in my docs and just copied and pasted the whole thing bc I’m lazy so enjoy lmao

The two first met unofficially during the Interschool MagiShift Tournament in their first year. Ruggie had a bit of time on the pitch due to his athletic ability and trickster-like play style. He spots Dwyn, a tall lanky first year, dressed in the WNA cheerleader outfit for NRC and seeming as though they’re out of place. They also happen to be sketching something, looking up every once in a while, and Ruggie, for all his humbleness, feels as though they’re looking at him.

They officially met around the time of the Spring Debutante Ball of that year. The quiet, awkward Dwyn had mainly been sketching Ruggie while the Savanaclaw student seemed lost among the small crowd of fellow first years and even second years who found him adorable and intriguing. Dwyn offered some reprieve due to their penchant for being alone, though Ruggie eventually went with a Rosenhex girl while Dwyn skipped attending that year.

For the most part, Dwyn and Ruggie had a comfortable friendship of sorts, albeit they were more like friendly acquaintances than friends as they were still rather distant. They exchanged the occasional letter and greeted each other at any events that both of their schools attended.

Their friendship didn’t start progressing until the Spring Debutante Ball of their second year. Dwyn had attempted to invite Ruggie, but Ruggie had already promised to go with another girl who had asked him earlier. He notices the girl become a little quieter for the days leading up to the ball, unlike the friendly, somewhat outgoing self that they’ve become over the past year. Still, he doesn’t think much of it until the ball itself.

During the Ball, Ruggie notices that Dwyn looks uncomfortable and the next thing he knows they’re gone. He wraps up his business with whoever he’s dancing with and slips out. He smells the salt and he already feels the dread building. The scent just gets stronger and he starts to notice a few drops of tears on the floor here and there. He walks just a little faster until he breaks into a small jog and reaches the gardens.

He finds Dwyn, looking disheveled. Their hair looks grossly textured with obvious marks where they tied it up for the ball and crusty bits of hairspray. Their makeup has smeared on their face and onto their arm, and their heels are haphazardly thrown off to the side. Dwyn tries to make themselves look more put together and asks Ruggie to leave them alone for a bit. Ruggie knows he should but hearing them sound so broken for once only reaffirms that Dwyn is in no state to be left alone. Ruggie doesn’t know how to comfort Dwyn, so he just ends up sitting next to them and letting them lean on him. He asks Dwyn’s little friends to get makeup remover somewhere and he gently gets rid of their makeup. They generally just stay in a comfortable silence for the rest of the night, with Ruggie singing a little folk song popular with the neighbourhood kids to lure Dwyn to sleep.

After the rather awkward scene, Dwyn goes to apologise the next day, which leads to them taking Ruggie out for donuts to make up to Ruggie. The boy doesn’t actually mind, but he’s not about to turn down free food when offered. They bond over casual talk about schoolwork, classmates, and their hobbies. One outing turns to two, then four, then regular ones whenever Ruggie’s free. They become to get closer, and Dwyn off-handedly mentions their bad experiences with the Balls for 2 years, being too self-conscious to attend the first year and their breakdown during earlier.

Later on, Ruggie plans a makeup dance of sorts for Dwyn a few weeks after the Ball. He gets some of the Savanaclaw boys as well as a few WNA girls to set up a simple setting for a recreation of the dance Dwyn didn’t get to have at the Ball. Neither of them really pay attention to the “correct” dance steps, opting for fun, impromptu random dance moves ranging from adorable to madness. They grow closer over the makeup dance, and have a comfortable friendship. Dwyn’s crush starts about this time, seeing Ruggie smiling widely underneath the moonlight as they dance together. Ruggie notices his own during another outing between the two of them when a Savanaclaw member mentioned Ruggie’s “date” and he had that in mind when he saw Dwyn laughing.

Dwyn starts having trouble confessing because their relationship with Ruggie started off with them relying on Ruggie in a way as well as money and they’re not sure how to approach the entire thing in general. Ruggie’s also having some issues because he was initially in for the money and he still kinda is in a way but he’s also developed a crush and he doesn’t want Dwyn to think he’s only in for the money.

Ruggie offers to treat Dwyn to a meal, using Leona’s money/money he got with pawning Leona’s gifts, to sort of try and progress things but there’s Dwyn who knows Ruggie’s household struggling with income (plus feeding the neighbouring kids too) so they don’t want Ruggie to have more expenses when they’re not really necessary ones. They end up with a compromise of sorts which is Ruggie offering to cook using stuff from NRC so he doesn’t have to spend a lot of madol even if he has to, while also taking some of the burden off of Dwyn BUT while their feelings are evolving into something more, their relationship barely has any progress at all.

Dwyn is starting to feel guilty because they haven’t actually been accepting anything positive Ruggie has said about them, they only seemed to do so because they don’t want Ruggie to worry (especially knowing that he saw how they were like during the ball) and they don’t want Ruggie to feel guilty for not being able to help them when they’re the one going around in circles. Ruggie sort of picked up on Dwyn’s struggle but he’s not entirely sure what’s Dwyn’s issue with themself so he doesn’t want to say anything. He eventually asks Dwyn to tell him, to which Dwyn isn’t sure how to respond and they drift apart for a bit as a result of awkwardness. Ruggie knows that Dwyn has unaddressed issues but not he is unable to help when Dwyn doesn’t want to address those issues, and they ended up drifting apart out of comfort.

Dwyn is the first to break the silence after mulling it over for weeks as they give Ruggie a poem that talks about their struggles. it’s simple enough to convey the basic idea for Ruggie to understand but they also write in more details about their problems. Ruggie goes to Leona for help at first but Leona takes one brief look at the poem and tells Ruggie to try deciphering it himself because Leona can tell the poem is clearly meant for Ruggie’s eyes only, so when Ruggie finally gets the last detail after weeks of hard work, he hands the poem back to Dwyn along with a simple, not really poetic response at the back (which is his attempt at poetry of sorts) and the two make amends.

There’s no verbal confession until months into them dating. The beginning of their romance starts with Adyna having an important study to do elsewhere. Dwyn was going to be left home alone for the holidays, and Ruggie invites them over to his house to spend the holidays together to take advantage of the opportunity.

Teasing aside, Dwyn gets along really well with everyone. Ruggie comes back and sees Dwyn having sat for hours listening to the old grandmas and grandpas of the neighbourhood telling stories about their youth. The next day he comes back to Dwyn all sweaty and glowy in the sunset from playing with the kids. The day after that it’s Dwyn helping the adults mend stuff, or helping people look put together for job interviews while on a limited budget.

One day, he comes back to Dwyn resting alongside his grandma, who’s telling stories about Ruggie and the rest of his family. he’s there hidden for long enough to hear how soft and, dare he say, infatuated Dwyn sounds, and he’s blushing for the rest of the evening while trying to act normal around Dwyn. He hears Dwyn quietly whispering little poetic prayers to his mum late at night while they think he’s asleep, since Ruggie refers to his mum as having “returned to the stars” when he mentioned it to Dwyn. He doesn’t understand half of the prayers, especially since it’s by ear and it’s not like he has a physical copy for him to write down notes on, but they commonly revolve around a trait of Ruggie’s that Dwyn admires, which comes through quite clearly.

Dwyn, on the other hand, hopes to get the approval of the neighbourhood by helping them out. they want to confess to Ruggie but they’ve been debating on how to confess. No method seems right or perfect for the occasion, and they struggle with putting their feelings into words.

Ruggie uses the last few days of the holidays to put together a nice little date under the stars where they can just relapse into the comfortable silence they’re so familiar with. they don’t say anything but the physical contact gradually evolves. they intertwine pinkies, and it becomes hand holding (like basic hand holding) and then lacing fingers together, and by the end of the night they’re cuddling, still holding hands with Ruggie’s face buried in Dwyn’s neck

Dwyn later hands over another poem which basically boils down to them confessing their love and attempting to ask Ruggie out. Ruggie has it with him all the time for the few days afterwards, mulling the offer over while simultaneously freaking out about the fact that his crush is requited. He thinks up all sort of scenarios to return the confession: taking Dwyn out on a date, planning out whole scripts of confessions and all the things he likes about Dwyn…However, the second he sees Dwyn he runs over and hugs them. Dwyn is surprised, but returns the hug, and they spend the rest of the day being fluffy and cute. While the confession wasn’t exactly confirmed, they became much closer with each other.

TL;DR: Much slow burn strangers-to-friends-to-lovers. Ghost Donuts is just all the slow burn

[franniebanana]

Fic Writer Interview Game

Fic Writer Interview Game

Thanks for tagging me @aurorawest

tagging: @mama-sass and @la-belle-laide

name: Frannie

fandoms: I've been in a lot over the years. I'm currently focusing on Haikyu!! and MDZS/CQL right now, but I anticipate continuing to write for FFXV, Chihayafuru, My Hero Academia, Free!, Run with the Wind, and Big Windup!

two-shots: I had to look this up, because I honestly don't remember. I don't often write two-shots--it's usually either one shot or a multi-chapter fic. Spoken/Unspoken, a short FFXV fic that centers around promptis (of course); Catharsis, a Killing Stalking fic. I have another FFXV one, but since it's part of a trilogy, I won't really count it.

most popular multi-chapter fic: I guess I'll do this by hits (bc apparently ppl are allergic to using kudos...). Machine Gun, a My Hero Academia fic that centers around Bakugo and Uraraka, is my most popular. After that is Smudges, a MDZS/CQL modern AU, centering around WWX/LWJ, that I'm still working on, so I'm sure it will overtake Machine Gun.

actual worst part of writing: Now that I've been doing a lot of writing ahead, editing is probably the worst part. Sometimes I feel like I spend so much time reading and re-reading that I don't really enjoy the fic anymore, which I hate.

how you choose your titles: Depends. Sometimes I hear a song lyric or a line of poetry, other times it's something I heard on a podcast and liked the sound of or realized it applied to a fic I'm working on. I'm very bad at coming up with titles. If they don't just come to me, I agonize over them.

do you outline?: Rarely. Sometimes I have to for events, but mainly I just try to write out little bits of scenes that come later on, or I just keep track of things in my head. I usually have a pretty good idea about where the fic is going, so it's just a matter of filling in the gaps.

ideas you probably won’t get around to, but wouldn’t it be nice?: I'm working on a multi-chapter fic for Run with the Wind about Yuki and Shindo falling for each other as adults. I really love where it's going, but idk if I'll ever be able to finish it. The other thing is that hardly anyone will read it, so it'd just be for me, y'know?

spicy tangential opinion: Oof. There was this fic in a certain fandom that people were so obsessed with. Literally every space of the fandom was talking about this fic, which drove me up the wall. But when I read a few chapters, I was so confused about why everyone was so obsessed with it. The writing was meh and the characterization was god-awful. The only the I can gather is that people were somehow living out their fantasies with this fic, but the characters could have been anyone because they were so OOC. It annoys me that fics like that get so much attention when they aren't that good. And I'm not saying mine are better, but at least I try to make my characters as close to the real thing as possible. Anyway, the whole thing annoyed me so much that I basically left the fandom and mostly stopped writing for it. I'll go back someday, but the experience (along with a ship week that was so poorly managed) really turned me off of the fandom.

callouts @ me: You need to read more. You're never going to be a better writer if you never read. And, no, I don't mean re-reading MDZS or manhwa or manhua or manga. I mean real books. You use the same phrases over and over again, and your characters are all about clenching their fists and setting their jaws. You should write for other characters to try and broaden your horizons instead of just wangxian. I could go on, but now I'm starting to feel bad.

best writing traits: People tell me a lot that my characterization is spot on, and that goes for multiple fandoms. I am parroting my sis a bit, but I also think I'm good at dialogue. It's probably one of my strongest abilities in writing, and the thing that I most enjoy doing.

[realcube]

YOU GOT: KENMA KUZOME 

matchup for @suchagoodgirlxoxo​

‘My hobbies include watching anime(mainly action) , playing on my switch I play a some games but mainly supersmash bros(not often), listening to music(more slower sad music and lo-fi), I like to draw (mainly anime but I do do realistic and conceptual also more traditional than digital ), I love to read like crime fiction, I write poetry and also fanfic but it isn’t great, I like to try cooking new things and I like to sing as well.’

♡ kenma likes to watch whatever animes you recommend to him lol- like seriously, he’s not picky, as long as it’s interesting 🤷‍♂️ he had a phase where he watched a bunch of animes but since then,  he’s kinda fell out of it and the only ones he watches now are the ones you speak highly of or the ones that are paired with games (danganronpa, naruto, etc) 

♡ sometimes when you are raving to him about an anime you adore atm, he’ll pretend like he’s not listening but in reality, he’s all-ears and plans on binging the anime as soon as you leave just so he can talk to you about it 🥺

♡ just bc you are his lover doesn’t mean he is gonna go easy on you in smash ✋ he brings his a-game every single time so if you aren’t ready to get your ass beat, don’t ask him to smash

♡ also he lowkey kinda likes it if you get pouty when you lose- like he thinks it’s so cute and he’ll sit there with the smuggest smirk on his face

♡ if you beat him, on the outside he’ll be like ‘gg 😐’ but on the inside, he’s either really proud of you and celebrating, or he’s bawling his eyes out  – one or the other. 

♡ we’ve already established that kenma listens lo-fi and vaporwave (occasionally hyperpop) so whenever y’all hang out and just chill together in his room, not really talking but just relishing in each other’s presence, he’ll put on lo-fi music on his speakers as background noise 

♡ kenma also went through a phase of trying to draw but it seriously didn’t work out for him so whenever you draw literally anything, he’ll hype you up as if you just made a masterpiece 

♡ ‘woah! that’s awesome, (y/n). you’re so talented.’ he hummed, peering over your shoulder to admire the art sat in front of you that you were working on, leaning down to press a kiss to your temple.

♡ ‘kenma..’ you muttered, twisting your neck around to shoot him a perplexed look, ‘this is just the sketch..and i’ve not even finished it yet.’

♡ anyway, kenma pretends to be disinterested in the fact you write fanfiction but secretly, he stalks your account and consumes your content like it’s his lifeblood 

♡ he has never really been one to cook anything besides instant noodles – like if it was up to him, he’d just order pizza every night – but if you cook, that’ll give him the motivation to join you and try learn a few new things as well

♡ he’s very competitive though so let’s say you’re making pasta and you’re complaining about how you’ve put in all the spices that the recipe listed but it still didn’t taste nice; kenma would push you aside like ‘let the pro handle this’ and start pouring in random-ass spices as if he knew what he was going

♡ and that was the story of how kenma accidentally dropped a whole tub of red pepper flakes into the pasta 🤠

︵‿︵‿୨♡୧‿︵‿︵

‘My love language is physical touch and acts of service. I love a good cuddle sesh and like just making people happy. I also love quality time sucker for a home movie date with food and cuddles. Or cooking together. For fun fact lets just say I have a pretty sharp tongue and good a comeback. I’m pretty blunt at times but will also feel super bad if I hurt your feelings.’

♡ kenma’s love languages are gift-giving and physical touch ^^ he loves having you cuddled up under his arms while he plays on his switch, or when you sit on his laps as he games on his PC. he’s convinced himself that he just plays better when you are around 🥰

♡ once a week, it’s become a custom for you both to snuggle up on the couch together and watch random nostalgic movies while eating either take-out or the food y’all just cooked 

♡ omg if you have a sharp tongue then lev, yamamoto and kuroo would all be shaking when you walk into the gym by kenma’s side bc they know one of them is going to be ridiculed

♡ kenma is shown to be quite blunt too but he has developed somewhat of a soft-spot for you. also, there is not much you can do to hurt his feelings- but like since you are his s/o he trusts you and cares about what you think of him so if you were to turn to him and utter in a genuine tone of voice, ‘i’m disappointed in you’ on the outside he’ll deadpan but on the inside he is bawling (ಥ _ ಥ)

︵‿︵‿୨♡୧‿︵‿︵

‘Some random things that may be too personal but imma just add it is I’m apparently a gifted kid burnout, I’m bi, also genderfluid, I can go long periods doing nothing because it’s honestly kinda hard to get stuff done for me I might not be able to like socialize a lot either also I’m majoring in Information Technology and have a really random dirty sense of humor [...] i do karate.’

♡ kenma isn’t really the best at getting things done either but i’d like to think that y’all encourage each other to complete task bc you just want the best for one another 🥺 so you’ll both just be laying on the bed, so tired with no motivation to do anything until kenma utters, ‘you said you have a report due.’ and you’re quick to reply, ‘and you said you have emails to send.’

♡ then it becomes a battle of ‘who’s thing is less important?’ until one of you finally suggests, ‘how about we both just do our work so we can cuddle in peace afterwards?’ then you both reluctantly crawl out of bed

♡ he isn’t really a social-butterfly either but ever since he’s started streaming, you’ve noticed he’s became less introverted so that means whenever y’all go to restaurants, he talks to the waiter so you to don’t have to 😩🙏 (also he pays for the meal bc he’s a king-)

♡ you and kenma are so powerful together bc he has somewhat of a dirty mind too KJXIDGH like kuroo will just be talking to y’all (even though neither of you are paying attention) then he’ll snap his kitkat in half and offer you a finger-- then get confused as to why you and kenma are caCKLING 💀

♡ he is highkey so proud that you know a martial art and you can defend yourself like he thinks it’s so badass- also when you were watching ‘karate kid’ with him, he’d pause the movie every few seconds to be like ‘so do you know that move? show me.’

︵‿︵‿୨♡୧‿︵‿︵

for @suchagoodgirlxoxo​: ooft it was lowkey hard to choose but i hope you like kenma 🥺🙏 also you said ur ideal guy is taller than you but erm kenma is the same height as you ‘:) but that way, y’all can share clothes!! 

[nanasarea]

First Love I Na Jaemin

Genre: angst (or fluff, depending on which ending you prefer)

Pairing: genderneutral!reader (I think?) x Na Jaemin

Prompt: Na Jaemin being the it boy as he always is, and you being whipped, like i know you are

your first year in high school seemed chill

relaxed

stress free

until Na Jaemin appeared

you never believed in love at first sight

Mainly bc “you can’t fall in love with someone based on their looks”

Now I’m not saying that changed when you saw him

But when you saw him

Something clicked in you

Something happened

You didn’t know what exactly

it was weird

and pleasant

but also awkward

You knew you would end up liking him

if you liked it or not

You tried not to stare at him

to distract yourself

which was hard considering everyone was talking about him

Your friends? yes

Teachers? yes

Classmates? yes

Students in other years? yes

Even your parents? SOMEHOW YES

No one could escape Na Jaemin

he was nice

a good student

good looking

talented

charismatic

perfect

loved by all

what was the worst part was 

he was so nice

he would come off as flirty

which made everyone attracted to males die

He was almost everyone’s first love

that’s why you didn’t put much thought into it

you avoided him as much as possible

which as I said, was hard

you signed up for some clubs to get your mind off of him

you signed up for poetry

He was there

“I wanted to improve my skills”

You cursing at him bc like

yOu ArE tRyInG tO aVoIdE hIm

every girl then joining bc Jaemin

you end up writing a poem about him

but no one notices it’s about him

but him

so one day when they’re given some time to write things down

so he sits next to you at the beginning of class

“Is this seat taken?”

“No, go ahead”

You trying not to die there and then

Jaemin looking at you

you trying to ignore him

until

“What is it?”

you put your notebook and pencil down and look at him

“I was just wondering”

“About?”

“Was the poem you told yesterday about someone?”

“Almost every poem is about someone”

You taking your pencil again

Trying to avoid him

Because the blush on your face was becoming harder and harder to hide

He takes your pencil and places it down far from your reach

“Who was it about?”

“Give me back my pencil”

“a name for a pencil”

Jaemin smirking

You cursing at both of you

“Just give me the pencil”

“May I guess?”

“Sure why not?”

Jaemin looks at you and then scans the room

his eyes land on Jeno

“how about Jeno? He’s a good looking guy, smart, nice. Wouldn’t be surprised”

Yes yes he would

Because he knew the poem was about him

he just knew

“It’s not about Jeno”

shocker

“Could it possibly be about me?”

the smirk on his face said it all

“No.”

You quickly replied and took your pencil

you continued writing

even more shy and awkward as before

That was a clear yes

which made Jaemin cheer a bit

“I knew it”

He said continuing with his work

“You knew nothing”

the bell rings as you quickly put away your things and sprint out of the classroom

As soon as you got home

You phoned your friend Samuel

you were too shy to do it on the way home so you waited

“…he’s just so good looking and when he smiled…ugh…Samuel kill me now and kill me please….”

“y/n, I love you, but you know every girl is crushing on him. I don’t mean to sound mean, but it’s for your best to just ignore him and try to get over him as best as possible”

“You’re right”

for the longest time

you didn’t meet

yes you stole a lot of glances at him

but they didn’t interact

You skipped poetry because you told them you had another club outside of school during that time

all just bc you were avoiding Jaemin

one day,

when you were walking home

you saw Jaemin with some girl

who looked like a sophomore

you overheard them

Jaemin was flirting as he does with everyone

“So any girl you’re interested? I saw you talking to that one freshman girl in poetry club”

“Nah, they are just another person with a crush on me. It’s quite cute how easy they have fallen for me so quickly. They all get so flustered and all I have to do is smile”

that moment

You didn’t go home

ouy turned around and decided to walk towards Samuel’s house

“Samuel, I need a hug”

crying

so much crying

half an hour went by and you were still crying into Samuel’s shoulder

“Next time, listen to me. I don’t want you to get this hurt again, I knew you really liked him”

“Samuel, I really did and he called me just another person with a crush on me…he knew”

next time you saw him

He walked up to you

you walked the other direction

he called your name

you kept walking until he stopped you

“I know you heard me call your name and I know you heard me talking to Mina about you on your way home, I didn’t mean it like that”

“Why do you care?”

“Because I’m a nice person”

“I get it, I’m just another annoying ‘fan’…I’ll stop liking you if it’s that much of a problem…I doubt it since you probably love it way more than you should and I doubt it’s even noticeable if I stop since the whole school is basically a Na Jaemin fanclub”

Jaemin being taken back

“I just wanted to apologize if I hurt your feelings, no need to be a bitch about it. It’s not like your love for me would ever matter, as if I’d date you”

Jaemin almost scoffed but was cut off by your hand hitting his cheek

“Truth hurts, y/n, you can’t just hit it if you don’t like it”

That day you went home

threw every poem away

or burned it

cried

and cried

you locked yourself in your room

cursing at yourself for being so stupid

BONUS ENDING(if angst ending isn’t your thing lol)

You decided on a whole new approach

next time you came to the poetry club

you came with a new notebook

new pen

new attitude

you got over Jaemin as best as you could

which was almost nothing

but hey

you were trying

“You’re back”

Jaemin said, seeing you walk into the classroom

“Get away from my seat”

you replied, not taking any of his bullshit

“Damn, no need to be like that, you gonna slap me again?”

he asked teasingly before moving to a spot next to Jeno

a few days passed

You became one of the popular kids at school

meaning you became friends with Jisung and Chenle

who were friends with Jeno and Haechan and Renjun

….and Jaemin

which also meant sleepovers and parties w all of them

and you becoming close with them

Jaemin kept sending death glares whenever they hung out

“I can’t believe you had a crush on Jaemin”

Jisung laughed

“Hey, I had bad taste at the time, don’t.”

You laughed back, sending Jaemin a glare

“At the time being yesterday”

Jaemin being shady af

“Oh hon, that’s sweet, I really do admire your confidence even if it’s on something worthless like this”

Your sass towards Jaemin became Haechan and Chenle’s fave thing

the others left you and Jaemin alone in the room

to go get snacks from the store nearby

after Haechan yelled “Don’t kill each other”

“No promises!” you yelled back

Jaemin decided to speak out

“Why do you act like you hate me?”

“You really wanna go there?”

“Neither of us are gonna be at peace until we heard the whole story from both point of views”

they began fighting

You felt a lump in your throat while screaming at him

tears coming from both of them

“Y/N I TOLD YOU I DON’T LIKE YOU BECAUSE I’M A STUBBORN FUCK WHO CAN’T CONTOL HIS EMOTIONS”

“what”

Jaemin explaining that he was in denial of liking you

since he doesn’t know how to properly deal with his emotions

so he pushed his feelings aside

and thought talking and seeing as just another fan would help

“When I said, as if I’d date you, I didn’t mean it. I mean, in a way it’s true, I could never date you. You’re too good for me, you were nothing but nice until I fucked everything up.”

“I cried so much just because you were stubborn?”

“I’m a leo! You know how we are!”

Talking it out

“Y/N, I love you”

Jaemin chocked out from the tears

“I hate you…but I also hate me for what I’m about to do”

as you quickly stood up and took Jaemin’s face into your hands

you pulled his face towards you until you kissed

he wrapped his arms around your waist

your hands moved to his hair

you melted into each other

this is what both of you have been wanting for so long

you couldn’t believe it was actually happening

Jaemin pushed you against the wall

and as if on cue

Haechan opened the door

and all of their eyes widened as Jaemin and you pulled away from each other

“Wow, you really still do have bad taste”

Jisung commented as the red faced couple giggled to themselves

A/N: I’m a hoe for Jaemin and angst and the enemies to lovers au so i tried combining it, kinda. But all jokes aside, I hope you enjoyed :)

[shadowtongued]

long headcanon about the duality of love and the mahjarrat condition pertaining to it from his point of view. if you read all this babble i swear to god, i love you, i hope you have a good day. cw: sex addiction, child neglect, unhealthy coping, unrequited pains. reason for writing: hi i want to die bc of angst.

i think we all know even without playing medieval xp grind lore game, runescape, that sliske is old. very old. he tells us in endgame there's not much he hasn’t done with his life over thousands of years, even traveling to other planets and realms to just see what was out there and how far he could get. i’ve always projected his age as somewhere between more than 8,000 or even more than 10,000. we’re never given a timeline to how long the children of mah have lived. sliske has done a lot with his time; he’s killed a god, had quite a few elder relics in his grasp, SPOKEN to a elder god and managed not to die, mastered shadow magicks, has an excellent grasp on the shadow realm. he’s good with biology, chemistry, has a fair understanding of soul magic which is kind of a rare brand of knowledge, he’s tricked probably thousands into bad contracts to become wights in his army, understands the psychology and bad morals of people. he was a playwright, a high ranking officer, a spymaster. dude is just a determined polymath. you know what he hasn’t done? love. he’s never got to play with love.

mahjarrat are explained as having emotions, but dulled ones. they feel rage and pride apparently better than others. kharshai said after years of really believing he was a human, that when he came back to his true form he states “i  feel raw power coursing through my veins. i don't feel pain like i used to, and i'm sure my intellect has increased. but somehow there is something missing. a capacity for emotion that i can't quite put my finger on.” they aren’t equipped for the same range of positive emotions as others are. they feel it, but they don’t understand it fully, it has been said by developers. this whole bit is sadly funny considering in canon, sliske catches feelings. he doesn’t realize he’s attracted to the player character. it’s stated many times, in his journals, in dialogue, etc. he believes their fates are tangled no matter what. and the saddest bit is he probably doesn’t understand these feelings and it confuses him to the point of anger.  “ love! a mahjarrat in love? ... i almost wish that were true. it would certainly make the universe a more interesting place. ” “ so perhaps i have loved you. but that doesn’t mean i have to like you.”  sliske’s main goal started off as to take the players immortal, unable to be crushed by the divine, soul and give it to himself so he could live forever, as mahjarrats do not have afterlives, once they die they are done, evaporated into energy. but in endgame we learn something from him hidden in masks that refutes that;

“I love you for more than your soul.”

you STUPID fucker, you’re in love.

the remainder of this is a lot of NON-CANON, personal headcanon interpretation that pretty much only works on this blog. as a rough summary: sliske’s ol’ mum was not fond of her kids, half-brother wahisietel or sliske since she did not see them as powerful as herself and was disappointed that's what her legacy came out to. a short, beefy, average at magic son, she had another go and was still disappointed with this spidery, scrawny, gifted but absolutely annoying stick underweight child. his father, saw him once or twice in his life and that was it. dyeosuthua wanted nothing more than to make them disappear and try again until she got offspring she didn’t want to throw into a lava pit in secrecy, infanticide was against tribal law due to population issues. sliske’s mother’s neglect was so severe, ( by the absolute boundless joys of rp development and mutual heacanons ♥ ) that wahi and nabor had an attempt at raising him and keeping him from freezing to death. why is all this jargon important? because while all mahjarrats are raised by tough love, sliske’s attention deprivation from his mother was so severe, he grew up and still has a slew of reactive attachment, psychological, and social issues he still carries as an adult. several times she threatened to kill him and almost made good on it more than twice. when wahisietel had proven he was a survivor of the first ritual of rejuvenation, sliske became dyeosuthua’s  main target for abuse despite his gift for magic at a young age. nothing he did could impress her enough. and it left him constantly seeking approval and validation to an insecure mind.

the more he grew, the more confident he became mainly out of spite and to get attention. he’s loud, charming, makes you the only person in the room when he talks to you. he has an innate silver-tongued ability that persuades people to do just about anything. it was a front for his insecurities that he kept very very closed up. in the second age/senntisten capital, sliske had a pretty severe sex addiction as it was one of the few ways he felt validated and was able to get affection in a way he could digest. people with reactive attachment disorders often have sex addictions to fill the space of acceptance without having to commit.. easy, feel good intimacy without having to open up and let someone learn about your vulnerabilities and commit. it was pretty severe, considering mahjarrats find any kind of breeding or intimacies outside their ‘superior species’ as downright foul. sliske had always been the black sheep of the tribe and with his status as praefectus praetorio; head of secret police, really nothing put a damper on him trying to fill the void for affection he had. there wasn’t a species or individual he wouldn’t bed. he would easily take up propositions even for people who just wanted to fuck a mahjarrat because it was ‘exotic’ or because of his status as an officer, he now looks back on this and it bruises his insecurities even more that he allowed himself to do that. not out of pride for his species. but himself, being just a thing to be had because of rarity. azzanadra and his brother, wahisietel found out about it and while disgusted, partially understood what he was doing to negatively self soothe. at one point sliske and azzanadra, the champion of their god and head of the church, as well of one of the strongest living of their kin, had a lasting tryst for a few years and for awhile it made sliske feel very much self important in a way and alleviated his need to be needed so badly, this did not end well when sliske grew tired of their empire and wanted freedom. once childhood best friends and lovers had become absolute enemies once sliske became too unstable and azzanadra became too zealous. 

sliske gave up his sexcapades for a long time, thousands of years, his libido dropped when he became interested in other projects and self healing when he was hit with the idea that he hasd essentially allowed himself to be an exotic fling and still burned over becoming his god, zaros, scapegoat after all he had done for him. love was a weird concept to him and still is. despite being adamant love doesn’t exist for his kind, and his belief that he is flawed, unstable, and embraced the idea of ‘you want a monster? fine! i’ll be the monster!’. he expects no pity, not be forgiven to things he has done and even in game when you sycophantically try to cozy to him, he straight up calls out your text choice was awful considering some of the shitty things he might have done to you. to sliske, all attention to him is attention, whether you’re praising or insulting him. he’s on your mind, he exists, that’s all he wants.

backstory aside the real part of this headcanon is that sliske actually wants love. it’s the only thing aside from an immortal soul he hasn’t had. sliske actually has an attraction to humans because they are empathetic, curious, passionate, and determined. he has an easier time assimilating and being around them since he has ALWAYS had a better sense of humor, socializing, and happiness than his kin. he feels emotions a lot stronger than his fellow mahjarrats. it allows him to talk to and connect to humans and humanlike species better. others of his kind have told him there’s “something wrong” with him for that. he’s actually a romantic, even if he’s just mimicking romance stories, movies, and actions from others. he thinks the idea of settling with one person and loving them is both mortifying and interesting. opening yourself up to someone and giving them the hammer to smash your cherry-red painted porcelain heart and seeing if they do, to him might be the ultimate form of trust and biggest gamble of russian roulette. the stakes are so heavy he’s high on the idea. but it’s also horrifying. mahjarrat are prolific for not opening up, not allowing others in, vulnerability out in the open is a death sentence. they live in a kratocracy/meritocracy where they kill off the weakest link. it’s not pretty. being soft is a useless, unnecessary, weak gene to them. it dampers survival. 

but yet sliske keeps reading romance novels, writing his own confused poetry, and getting into unrequited one sided loves but practicing a backstabbing betrayal when one gets too close. i have to hurt them before they hurt me, betray and cut them down before they can do it to me. i think he wants to be loved. i think he kinda wants to be taught to love, for the emotions and the sake of knowledge. ( brb james newton howard’s ‘true love’s kiss’ from maleficent just came on spotify and i think i’m going to die bc i did not ask for background music thanks!!! ) he wouldn’t be the best at it, maybe a little too possessive with you, codependent, but very nurturing and fun loving. will sepnd a whole week spooning you.. people who hurt you past, present, and future may end up dead in mysterious ways or turned into a wight for you to beat the shit out of. but he’d try. he’s still got a broken child sitting behind his third rib. i think he would snarl the first few times someone genuinely got close to him, it would terrify him, being known on such a skinned, raw level. having gentle touches that are real and not a come hither to the bedroom. being known for something other than the confident, ego he has is death. he could be taught to be gentle for a crumb of consistent attention. might even cut down the murders and god killing down by 15%. love is not going to fix him, it’s not going to forgive the actual shitty things he’s done. it should never do that. but it will turn the lights on in a dark house.

love could really break him. i think so. i’d type more but this has gone on too long and i feel sad-happies. 

[unfortunate-stranger-losers]

Triple the Losers AU - Concept Notes

i wanted there to be 27 but if i added patties and audras that made 27 but then i’d have to add kay bc i love her which would make 28 so 21 it is

so the basic concept for this is “hey guys remember how i doubled the baudelaires and made the best au with movie! and netflix!bauds well we’re doing that with book, miniseries and film losers club” 

So, yeah, in this au, the book, miniseries and film Losers are all in the same universe, related, and ready to kill a clown. There is no Chapter Two because these kids bully that clown to death asap. 

A friend group of 21 is pretty wild but definitely makes for a pretty great army. 

Full list of Losers:

The Denbrough Boys

Isaac Denbrough - film!Bill

13

An adopted sibling, though he’s never known any family but the Denbroughs and is never considered anything other than the oldest Denbrough boy 

Artist who wants to illustrate for his brothers’ books bc he loves them

Gay but in denial. Giant crush on Daniel Hanlon. 

Anselm Denbrough - miniseries!Bill 

12 

Likes to write fantasy novels as an escape from reality 

Fights with Bill about whether fantasy or horror is better which is lowkey a metaphor for them arguing about how to deal with their trauma

William “Bill” Denbrough - book!Bill

11

Writes horror stories cause he loves psychological analyzation 

He prefers to face his fears rather than “escape” from them, causing tension between he and Anselm with how they deal with Georgie’s death

Georgie Denbrough - there is only one Georgie as he literally only exists for like one chapter

6 

Loves his brothers 

Dead as fuck, sorry 

Stuttering seems to be a family trait during childhood in the Denbrough family that Anselm and Bill are afflicted with, though Bill much more than his older bother. (Isaac also starts stuttering young, which is suspected to be more psychological.) This trait skipped a generation, and thus the Denbrough parents don’t really know enough about how to deal with their sons’ disability.

They’re a very creative family, usually in terms of creative writing, though they’re also pretty skilled in the art department. Sharon Denbrough is a skilled pianist and taught Isaac until recently. The family was never very close, and Bill always had a rocky relationship with his parents, but the family fell apart after the death of Georgie. Isaac and Bill found themselves practically ignored, while Anselm was pretty much yelled at for trying to fix everything. The brothers only managed to maintain their relationship by trying to avenge Georgie by killing this fucking clown.

The Hanscom Boys

Desmond “Des” Hanscom - film!Ben

13 

Would like to go into Investigative Journalism, though he’s also really into Local Histories

Tends to be afraid of the concept of death more than anything else 

Has a lot of social anxiety 

Auster Hanscom - miniseries!Ben

12

Super into all forms of writing but mostly poetry, which he loves and kinda obsesses over 

Was most affected by not having a father figure around, as Des and Ben didn’t seem to mind 

Assumed he was straight for a while but is probably demi 

Benjamin “Ben” Hanscom - book!Ben

11 

The Architect, and his love of blueprints and planning has made him the main strategist of the Losers Club 

He really doesn’t have many psychological demons so his worst fear is just the mummy he saw in a movie too late at night

Pure baby 

The Hanscoms’ father left the family when Arlene was still pregnant with Ben; while the boys never understood why, they sometimes speculate about secret missions, one or both of their parents cheating, government conspiracies, etc. Des and Ben never really minded, as Des was quite the introvert and Ben was close with their mom, but Auster really wished they could have a paternal figure, especially since the boys tend to be shunned for their genetic overweight appearance and he really wished for some kind of acceptance. 

The move to Derry was recent, as Arlene managed to find a higher-paying job that could help her support her boys. Ben managed to get himself in trouble with the Bowers Gang, meaning that his brothers, defensive of him, also became targets. But they manage to find friends in the Losers Club, and with the whole gang together, nobody’s going to be able to hurt them... right? 

The Marsh Girls

Karen “Karrie” Marsh - film!Bev

13 

Hates her name, thinks it sounds like a middle-aged mom. Goes by Karrie which she thinks sounds cooler (and serves as another Stephen King reference)

Wants to do movie stunts as an adult, is the most daring and bold of the Losers Club, and also probably the physically strongest 

Intensely protective of her sisters, especially due to their home situation 

Brooke Marsh - miniseries!Bev

12 

The sweetest little angel you will ever meet. Has never done anything wrong in her life 

Wants to be a painter and is very artistic. Karrie has shoplifted her paint supplies before 

The only one of her sisters to not smoke, as they refuse to let her near cigarettes 

Beverly “Bev” Marsh - book!Bev

11 

Technically the half-sister (stepsister?) of her older sisters, and can tell that her Mom doesn’t seem to care for her sisters much. She loves them, though, and won’t stand for people insulting them 

Quite the fashion designer, and even though the family is poor, she’s been making sure they don’t look like shit since she could choose her own clothes 

Probably the most manipulative of the Losers, though this has its advantages, such as when they need to get out of trouble. 

Giant Lesbian, definitely marries Kay McCall 

Karrie and Brooke have lived under the hate of their father for a while, due to the fact that he blames them for their mother’s death; Karrie brought home a virus from daycare that infected their mother, weakening her enough that labor with Brooke killed her. Karrie tends to get the most shit for this, mainly because Brooke gets along more with their stepmother, Elfrida. Elfrida married their father only a few months following their mother’s death, mainly due to the fact that Al got her pregnant. The family is quite poor, and the parents work quite a lot, meaning the sisters have gotten pretty good at fending for themselves. 

Recently, the girls have started to get more fears about their father than just physical abuse- he’s been acting weird around Karrie and Bev, and while Brooke seems to avoid his eye for the time being, she has been quite hurt by his violent outbursts. Karrie’s secretly been saving up to take her sisters away before he can do anything to them, though she’s not sure how to tell Brooke and Bev, as they don’t even understand what they’re supposed to be afraid of. But while they’re in Derry, they end up finding themselves among the Losers Club, on a mission to save the children of the town by killing a monster that lives in the sewers. That won’t be much of a problem; they have much worse monsters at home. 

The Kaspbrak Boys

Chase Kaspbrak - film!Eddie

13 

Somehow simultaneously the most paranoid and most reckless boy in the world 

He’s really into analysis and predicting events 

Can and Will fight you, but he will be bitching about it the entire time 

Otto Kaspbrak - miniserires!Eddie

11, Eddie’s older twin 

Incredibly stubborn and snarky, but also the most loyal Loser and the most sincere 

Has an interest in mechanics and repair, and when his mom’s not looking he’ll take things apart to find out how they work 

Edward “Eddie” Kaspbrak - book!Eddie

11, Otto’s younger twin

Very adaptable and adventurous, though he has a lot of anxiety at times 

Special Interest in cars, wants to be a driver as an adult

Able to find direction no matter where they are, and his gift of coordination has helped the Losers numerous times 

There will absolutely be a car chase scene where he has to drive 

Chase is the only Kaspbrak who really remembers their father, being seven when he died instead of his brothers’ five. He seems to recall them not being so sick back then, though his Mother claims otherwise, and their father being a good, playful man. But he’s not here now, and their mother, Sonia, is paranoid about everything. Her boys are very weak and sick and can’t do much, and she hates that they have such rough, rude friends that must be corrupting them somehow. 

The boys, however, are much more adventurous and capable than Sonia believes- especially Chase, who has actually won more than one fight, mostly on behalf of his brothers. As the eldest, Chase believes he has to protect Otto and Eddie, whether it be from a bunch of school bullies, a killer clown in the sewers, or their own mother. Also, Chase and Eddie are gay as hell and Otto is demi-gay as fuck. 

The Hanlon Boys

Daniel “Danny” Hanlon - film!Mike

14, the oldest of the Losers

He’s actually the cousin of Orel and Mike; he recently moved in with his aunt and uncle after the death of his parents in a house fire. He’s pretty traumatized from the incident 

Wants more than anything to travel and explore the world, meet new people and see everything there is to see, and being stuck in boring, bigoted Derry is pretty much hell for him 

He is very protective of his cousins and friends, though, and is the one who believes the most in their ability to triumph over Pennywise

Orel Hanlon - miniseries!Mike

12

Incredibly excitable and very optimistic, as well as incredibly bookish. As such, he tends to infodump whether people want to hear him or not 

Super into cartography, and collects old, antique maps as well as making his own pretty much wherever they go 

Really into gruesome horror stuff and doesn’t understand why it scares and/or grosses out other people. 

Michael “Mike” Hanlon - book!Mike

11 

Incredibly watchful and steadfast, and the Loser with perhaps the most emotional stability 

He’s a lil Historian whose greatest desire is to work for the library and get to read as many books as he wants 

Just. really fucking loves his dog 

Orel and Mike don’t go into town much, mainly staying on their farm with their loving parents and spending their time with the farm animals; Mike is closest to their watchdog, but Orel loves being among the sheep. In the last few months, their cousin Danny moved in with them, and their relationship is... a bit awkward. Orel is too blunt and Mike is too curious, and they don’t know how to carefully approach the subject of his parents burning to death in front of him without making him feel worse. 

It doesn’t help that Danny hates Derry; it’s bigoted, it’s tiny, it’s in the middle of nowhere, and people are dying left and right. However, once his cousins convince him to come hang out with their friends, he ends up bonding with the other Losers of the town, even though they’re all a bunch of weird white kids. And though the Hanlons don’t deal much with town business, they’re ready to join in the fight to stop Pennywise from killing anyone else. 

The Tozier Triplets

Reynard “Reynie” Tozier - film!Richie

12, the firstborn of the triplets 

Loudmouthed, rude, impulsive and very crass, mainly to hide his crippling self-doubt and fears of being ostracized  

Super good at video games and says he wants to be a professional gamer, though honestly he’s just really interested in stand-up comedy 

Gay as all fuck

Roderick “Rod” Tozier - minseries!Richie

12, the middle of the triplets

While he’s just as hyperactive as his triplets, he’s a bit more controlled and actually the least raunchy, meaning Reynie and Richie joke that he’s not using his name correctly 

Wants to be a voice actor for cartoons like Looney Tunes, and is actually getting decent at impersonating the RoadRunner. 

Richard “Richie” Tozier - book!Richie

12, the youngest of the triplets 

Pretty wild and uncontrollable, energized as all hell, and makes off-color jokes to piss people off and get attention, though he does have a true heart for his friends 

Wants to have his own radio show in the future. Was the first to befriend the Marsh girls, because he and Bev would share cigarettes during recess 

Bi as all fuck 

The Tozier triplets are a trio of ADHD disasters and nobody in Derry can or will ever forget it. Reynie and Rod tend to “big brother” Richie, meaning they tend to end up slapping him upside the head for saying something insensitive, though sometimes Reynie says something a bit too impulsively as well. They used to do different voices to entertain each other, meaning it’s a bit of an interest for all of them. While Reynie tends to lean more towards comedy, though, Rod wants to be a voice actor for cartoons like Looney Tunes, and Richie hopes to be some kind of radio personality. 

Their parents mean well but are often at work, and even at home they don’t quite understand their boys, so the triplets are pretty used to relying on each other. Reynie kinda has the least parental affection, as Rod and Richie tend to get into even more shit than he does, so he kinda falls to the wayside. His isolation tends to manifest in fears of abandonment and loneliness- and a public outing resulting in such, starting when he started to realize that he maybe didn’t like girls as much as he said he did. Rod and Richie, meanwhile, also have vague fears of outing, though Pennywise represents their bisexuality as werewolfism- always transforming in painful and terrifying ways. 

The Uris Boys

Mason Uris - film!Stan

13 

Very cautious, but definitely not the Mom friend; he will inform you how shitty your idea is, but will not stop you, and in fact will grab popcorn to watch 

Loves studying art history and different art forms, though he doesn’t want to create them himself, just catalogue them. He likes to entertain Isaac and Brooke by “critiquing” their “fabulous” artwork

The only one of his siblings who doesn’t get along with their parents 

Peter Uris - miniseries!Stan

12, almost 13 

Incredibly logical and has the most anxiety. Is the last one to believe in the clown just because it doesn’t fit into his worldview 

While all the boys love birdwatching, he’s the one who’d like to go into it as a profession; he loves ornithology and wants to study birds for the rest of his life 

Stanley “Stan” Uris - book!Stan

11 

Loves to have things in order, and doesn’t really know how to interact with people socially, because people don’t act in predictable ways. 

Super good at mathematics and hopes to be an engineer or accountant 

Has the weirdest sense of humor, which means he is the best

The Urises are one of the few Jewish families in town, and in a bigoted town like Derry, that means they were pretty much outcasted from the getgo. They are all relatively close with each other, in that they’ll argue nonstop but also would die for each other without question. Peter and Stan probably get along the best, as they’ll sit and talk about birds until they pass out, while Mason likes to sit in his room and read his books on famous artists. Mason also has a bit more of a strained relationship with his parents, while his brothers get along with them much better. 

The boys refused to believe in Pennywise for the longest time, as they’re all very logical and orderly and “magic alien clown eating kids by turning into their fears” doesn’t exactly fit into their normal worldview. But they’re going to stick by their friends and do their best to protect themselves and the town... and, well, if the way to kill the clown is by bullying him to death, they have a shitton of insults they’ve been saving for a special occasion. 

[mortuarybees]

What books do you recommend me to read?

I’m not sure what your tastes are but I’ll tell you some of my favorites! To be quite honest, I mainly return to the same books over and over again so the list is rather short and I doubt I have anything to recommend that you won’t have heard of already. I’ll recommend my favorites. It consists mainly of my usual rotation of things i read over and over or books that left an impression on me and I refer back to them often.

When it comes to the non-fiction section just like….keep in mind that most academic texts have many, many problems and I’m not presenting any of the texts I list as The Quintessential Must Read Best Flawless Overview of a topic, I’m mainly listing the books I have found to be approachable and reasonable introductions to topics. Read everything critically, always (and that includes everything else on this list, not just the non-fiction).

Plays:

An Oresteia, translated by Anne Carson (Aeschylus’ Agamemnon, Sophocles’ Elektra, Euripides’ Orestes)

Iphigenia in Tauris by Euripides

I mean like. Shakespeare, obviously; my personal favorites are Hamlet, Twelfth Night, As You Like It, Julius Caesar, and Macbeth; recently, thanks to the productions starring David Tennant, Much Ado About Nothing and Richard II have been added to the list

Doctor Faustus, Edward II, and Dido by Christopher Marlowe

Antigone, particularly Anne Carson’s translation, and after you’ve read Antigone, I’d recommend reading Antigonick, but not before

Lysistrata by Aristophanes

The Importance of Being Earnest by Oscar Wilde (I feel like Lady Windermere’s Fan is also kind of necessary reading and I do love it of course but I’ve only read it the once, for the sake of it, whereas I’ve come back to the Importance of Being Earnest a million times and the 2002 movie is one of the things I watch when I’m down)

Novels (and Epics)

Good Omens by Neil Gaiman and Terry Pratchett if you haven’t yet, obviously

Maurice by E. M. Forster

The Picture of Dorian Gray by Oscar Wilde

The Secret History by Donna Tartt

VIRGINIA WOOLF. everything but particularly the Waves, Orlando, and Mrs. Dalloway. The Waves is my favorite, followed closely by Orlando, but I’d start with the Mrs. Dalloway because it gets you accustomed to Woolf’s writing style and the way she approaches her characters if you haven’t read her before.

Pride and Prejudice by Jane Austen (If you haven’t read it yet and you have seen 2005 P&P and love it and you’re opening the novel with the expectation that it’s similar to the 2005 film in tone and feel, you’ll be disappointed. If you’ve seen the 1995 miniseries, that reflects it very well. So just approach it with an open mind with 2005 on the back burner and you’ll find it an amazing and very repressed love story)

Aristotle and Dante Discover the Secrets of the Universe by Benjamin Alire Sáenz

Brideshead Revisited by Evelyn Waugh

When the Moon Was Ours by Anna-Marie McLemore

The Iliad (the translation I own is Lombardo. It’s extremely approachable and colloquial and I enjoy it, and if you’ve never read the Iliad and you find it intimidating, I would very much recommend it, but my high opinion is not universal. Fagles and Lattimore are very popular translations and I like them both well enough)

I’m dying to get a copy of Emily Wilson’s Odyssey translation. I don’t love the Odyssey personally but I am a big fan of Wilson and from what I’ve read about her translation and what she’s said about it, if anything could make me enjoy the Odyssey, it would be that translation.

Wuthering Heights by Emily Brontë

The Song of Achilles by Madeline Miller. I would personally recommend reading the Iliad first just because Miller takes…….liberties with it, but I also don’t think there’s a problem with that at all, so if you’re not interested in the Iliad, or you think tsoa would get you interested in it, there’s nothing at all wrong with reading it on its own or reading it first. I just think it’s a genuinely more enjoyable experience to read the Iliad first and then see what Miller does with it. And regardless of what order you read them in, if you read them both you will understand how very different tsoa and the Iliad are from one another and you will not be one of those people who talks about the Iliad when what they mean is tsoa. Again, there’s nothing wrong with tsoa, it’s one of my favorite novels, but it’s just a very separate thing and it gets just a little maddening.

Autobiography of Red by Anne Carson. It’s both poetry and a novel but it’s got to go somewhere so

When I was 14 I got very into Les Mis and i will recommend it. I genuinely love it and it will always have a special place in my heart. I have read the entire brick only once however because as much as i love it. as much as i Relate to the infamous off-topic tangents. there is a limit to my patience.

The Epic of Gilgamesh is just like. extremely good. I really don’t know enough about it to recommend any specific translations; in high school I was given a stapled copy of the whole thing and I read that til I lost it and now if I want to reread it or refer back I just look it up online. I’m a fake fan.

Poetry

If Not, Winter: Fragments of Sappho translated by Anne Carson

The Beauty of the Husband by Anne Carson

Devotions, Felicity, and Winter Hours by Mary Oliver. Those are the anthologies that I have read and I adore them. I imagine that all of her anthologies are also amazing and all of them are on my to-read list. I don’t think you could possibly go wrong

I do not have the singular published collection of Elizabeth Siddal’s poetry (My Ladys Soul) but I have read all of her poetry and she is an amazing poet and I hold her very near and dear to my heart

Crush by Richard Siken

Useless Magic by Florence Welch……..yall knew what you came here for

Songs of Innocence and Experience by William Blake

Non-fiction and Essay Collections (again. None of these are recommended as the definitive, end all, be all, all-you-need book on any given subject, they’re just some of my favorites). I have limited myself to collection specifically because this is long enough already and if I start just adding essays it’ll never end. All of these were either purchased online for under $10, are available somewhere on the internet as pdfs, or were at my library, so if you look, you can probably find them somewhere (I say this bc while trying to find the authors of some of these I have been stunned by their retail prices and I’m assuring you, don’t be scared off by your initial search bc I sure as fuck did not pay $30):

Citizens: A Chronicle of the French Revolution by Simon Schama

Marie Antoinette: the Journey by Antonia Fraser (controversial but well-researched and approachable and I love it. I would recommend reading like. almost anything else first because Fraser does obviously focus on Marie Antoinette and her life and experiences; and while she does talk about the revolution, it isn’t the focus of this biography, and you won’t understand why it was necessary if you don’t come to it with a good grasp on the broader events outside Marie Antoinette).

A Day with Marie Antoinette by Hélène Delalex

Robespierre: a Revolutionary Life and Liberty or Death: the French Revolution by Peter McPhee

The Black Jacobins: Toussaint L’Ouverture and the San Domingo Revolution by C.L.R. James

If you’re at all interested in 18th century art, I recommend Rococo to Revolution:Major Trends in Eighteenth-Century Painting by Michael Levey

A People’s History of the United States by Howard Zinn is controversial. But it’s approachable and well-researched and if you don’t know a lot about American history, I recommend it highly (especially for Americans).

Eros, the Bittersweet by Anne Carson (okay literally everything by Anne Carson. All her essays, her poetry, her translations, her weird mashups, all of it. There are a few things I haven’t read yet but. I very much doubt you’re going to be able to go wrong, so just take what I’ve listed as my favorites)

This Changes Everything: Capitalism vs. The Climate and the Shock Doctrine by Naomi Klein

Black Against Empire: The History and Politics of the Black Panther Party by Joshua Bloom

Smoke Gets in Your Eyes: and Other Lessons from the Crematory and From Here to Eternity: Traveling the World to Find the Good Death by Caitlin Doughty (also the illustrations by Landis Blair are absolutely phenomenal. Look at this. I love it so much I pulled it out of the book to hang in my momento mori corner because it’s so beautiful.)

The Worst Hard Time by Timothy Egan

Alexander of Macedon by Peter Green is. okay we have a love-hate relationship, me and this biography; me, and peter green, but I have major issues with every single Alexander biography I’ve read and this was the first so if you want to start somewhere, I guess go for it.

The Empathy Exams by Leslie Jamison

The Honey Bee by James L. Gould. It’s out of date in some respects but a good, simple introduction into honeybee biology and behavior

Before the Deluge: A Portrait of Berlin in the 1920s by Otto Friedrich

Vanishing Bees: Science, Politics, and Honeybee Health by Sainath Suryanarayanan and Daniel Kleinman

Out of the Past: Gay and Lesbian History from 1869 to the Present by Neil Miller

Holy Madness by Adam Zamoyski isn’t by any means perfect, but it’s a alright introduction to the Age of Revolution. Just don’t let it be the only thing you read. It’s here because it has a special place in my heart as my introduction to it.

Between the World and Me by Ta-Nehisi Coates

Erotic Exchanges: the World of Elite Prostitution in 18th Century Paris by Nina Kushner

Radical Love: Introduction to Queer Theology by Patrick S. Cheng

Our Lives Matter: A Womanist queer Theology by Pamela R. Lightsey

Our Native Bees: North America’s Endangered Pollinators and the Fight to Save Them by Paige Embry

At the Existentialist Café by Sarah Bakewell (I really do not know that much about philosophy or existentialism specifically or this subject generally, so I have no idea where the faults of this book are, but I really enjoyed reading it and it made me think a lot. I have a feeling it’s very simplified so take it with a grain of salt as I did?)

Walden by Henry David Thoreau (just. just. it’s enjoyable but don’t get too into it please for the love of God). My copy (and I think most copies?) includes his essay Civil Disobedience as well which is very good.

Never Caught: The Washingtons’ Relentless Pursuit of Their Runaway Slave by Ona Judge

The Uninhabitable Earth by David Wallace-Wells

The Diaries of Virginia Woolf: I’m currently in the midst of volume 2 (1920-1924). They’re very enjoyable, but they’re something of an undertaking as all diaries are if you aren’t already very familiar with the biography of the person in question, so like. If you find yourself moving slowly don’t worry about it.

Gay Berlin: Birthplace of a Modern Identity by Robert Beachy

To Be Broken and Tender: A Quaker Theology for Today by Margery Post Abbott

The New Jim Crow byMichelle Alexander

The Environmental Case: Translating Values into Policy by Judith A. Layzer is a textbook that was assigned to me in my Enviornmental Policy class last semester and I really fkcing enjoyed it. It’s a book of case studies in environmental policy and it’s dense at times, but really interesting and enjoyable.

The Second Amendment: a Biography by Michael Waldman

Michelangelo’s Notebooks: the Poetry, Letters, and Art of the Great Master by Carolyn Vaughan. Just like. Genuinely. Genuinely. unintentionally hilarious. but also sometimes very sad, and very gay. I just adore Michelangelo. Just a shy foul-tempered repressed disaster. Jesus Christ.

[historyrepeatsitself]

modern au headcanons p2

hey guys, so after uhh everything crashed and burned as u can see from this post, i did not follow thru in good time with writing a modern au headcanon post… BUT!!! fortunately, i have returned from my semi hiatus to bring you… inspired by this OG post… httyd modern au headcanons part 2!!!

also sorry for the weird bullet points, i did this in microsoft word so the entire thing wouldnt fucKING DELETE AGAIN

·         so like i said with the last one, cami is obviously internet famous for her ridiculously cool youtube channel

·         shes also quite popular on insta but youtube is more her jam

·         her fame started when a video of her pickpocketing stoick and them him finding out and absolutely Losing It went viral

·         it was a vine

·         you can hear hiccup laughing in the background

·         her videos used to mainly feature pranks she did but since then shes branched out

·         she still does a lot of pranks but now her videos also include: parkour, absolutely HORRIBLE karaoke (ft. hiccup and fishlegs), Q&A, playing with toothless for an hour and thirty minutes (yes, it did get a lot of views ((also toothless is a cat in this au))), roast battle vs snotlout (spoiler: snotlout cries), “a compilation of hiccup doing nerdy shit and me calling him a nerd (8 min, 30 sec)”, “reading yalls fanfiction abt me (fishlegs has an asthma attack)”, videos of her doing sports, & more

·         like in the original hiccup and fishlegs have their own channel

·         its literally shit

·         they update it only on lethal amounts of caffeine

·         its usually VERY active during finals week (hence their not great grades)

·         it puts shane dawson to shame

·         “NOT CLICKBATE: OBAMA IS FROM THE MOON????”

·         “NEIL A IS ALIEN SPELLED BACKWARDS??? DID ARMSTRONG USE THE MOON AS A WAY TO FUEL UP BEFORE JUMPING BACK TO HIS COLONY ON MARS??”

·         “MY CAT IS NOT FROM EARTH (VIDEO INCLUDED!!!!)”

·         “got rejected again…. </3”

·         “video of fishlegs on sugar high after i gave him a bunch of candy bc he wouldn’t stop crying”

·         “kids from our school found us” (during the whole video theyre panicking while wearing wigs and fake mustaches)

·         needless to say its very confusing when someone connects that those guys are also on cami’s channel

·         shes pissed but comes around and they regularly star on her channel while she regularly stars on theirs

·         hiccup also has his own side channel where he explains different animal species (natural history stuff) and also does various language tutorials

·         fishlegs reads poetry and sings on his side channel

·         cami has a video where she reacts to hiccup’s channel, he actually gained a lot of followers from it

·         hiccup and fishlegs go to the same school while cami goes to an all girls school across town

·         she actually doesn’t hate it

·         hiccup and fishlegs are public school kids

·         that public school vibe

·         kids from their school are so confused how they know cami and rly jealous

·         cami once stopped by after school (her school gets out a little earlier) and punched a bully for them

·         it was iconic

·         she smacked him right in the face and hauled hiccup’s ass up and dragged them both in the car

·         cami is pretty popular at her school

·         hiccup and fishlegs are NOT

·         theyre honestly a bit like peter and ned from spiderman

·         gotta love that lego deathstar

·         cami does not like legos

·         both hiccup and fishlegs are smart but don’t put in a lot of effort

·         fishlegs excels at English and hiccup is good at science classes (esp bio) and history

·         fishlegs is ok at history but finds some of it a little boring

·         they HATE gym

·         theyre both shocked to find that cami (a dumbassTM) is actually a straight A student

·         shes super competitive so she actually does super well and gets rly rly good grades and all her teachers love her

·         she didn’t for awhile bc she has ADHD for school was HARD but shes gotten a lot better and got tutors and study methods and also shes just super competitive

·         she was on math team in middle school and hiccup wont SHUt Up about IT

·         “hey theres my favorite student mathlete!!!!!”

·         fishlegs doesn’t even try and help him anymore, he does this to himself

·         fishlegs wins English awards every year

·         he also got a 36 on his English ACT hes just SO GOOD

·         hes also a theatre kid lmao

·         he does shakespearean theatre on top of his school theatre too

·         “to be or not To Be”

·         Hiccups not a huge English fan and he doesn’t rly like Shakespeare but he does rly like Oscar wilde

·         Dorian gray is the Shit

·         Fishlegs was so happy when he read it bc they could finally talk about LiTeRaRy ClAsSiCs!!!

·         the trio met bc hiccup and cami’s parents own rival business companies

·         both stoick and bertha are very Rich and Important

·         hiccup and cami sometimes have to go to business dinners

·         they fuck around

·         that’s how they met

·         hiccup bumped into cami replacing the soap in the hand dispenser in the men’s room with silly string

·         he thought she was the coolest person ever

·         she tried to fight him at first but they quickly united against the Evil Boring Dinners With Stupid Old Men

·         they locked this one old racist dude in a bathroom stall once and sent fishlegs a video

·         truly forces of chaos

·         the forces of chaos were unfortunately grounded for that tho

·         stoick is very busy and valhallarama travels a lot so they hang out at hiccup’s bc its usually empty (cami’s house is also kinda far)

·         cami’s parents are divorced but her dad stops by occasionally

·         fishlegs has a foster family and that’s how he wound up meeting hiccup was when he moved to be with his new family when they were in second grade

·         hes rly grateful that hes been able to stay with them for a long ass time

·         theyre actually pretty nice

·         hiccup gets to come over for dinner

·         snotlout is hiccup’s bitchy cousin whos a grade ahead of hiccup and fishlegs

·         he eventually becomes nicer to them at the beginning of sophomore year

·         some bad stuff happens  (might write an angst fanfic idk lemme know (itll prolly be hiccup centric))

·         basically, snotlout kinda realizes hes been a bitch

·         hes sorry

·         things get better

·         until yknow

·         gotta keep things sad cant get rid of all the emo

·         but anyway snotlout does wind up becoming a good friend to the trio!! <3

·         oh lmao when valhallarama came home for Christmas she thought hiccup was either dating cami or fishlegs and she didn’t know which one bc hiccup was so shy she just figured he was dating one of them and just didn’t tell her (theyre all like super close yknow)

·         after seeing hiccup and cami holding hands (a RARE moment, it was bc they thought it would annoy snotlout bc he hates cami (it did)) she assumed it was cami

·         she brought it up

·         LMFAOOOO hiccup laughed for like 10 minutes

·         She then immediately was like oh ok ur gay and its fishlegs

·         that was even funnier

·         “mom fishlegs is weird lmao” (he and fishlegs probably friendly roast each other a lot tbh. they definitely call each other “weirdo” “freak” “nerd” other possibly explicit words, its chill)

·         Valhallarama is so confused

·         she didn’t say it but “child u literally told me that u thought ur little cat that’s missing teeth is prolly from area 51, ur the weird one son”

·         she asks stoick

·         hes just as confused

·         she drops the whole topic

·         it has yet to occur to bertha

·         fishlegs’ family is good as long as hes good theyre chill like that

·         oh and cami’s school has uniforms

·         yes, she does have to wear a skirt

·         yes, several of them were shredded freshman year

·         bertha is So Tired

[gayasinstupidpodcast]

What’s up gamers!!! Our fourth episode plowed through the chaos of thanksgiving holidays and is Here w/ some Facts and Opinions about creating shit and being LGBT and how being LGBT influences creating shit. HEADS UP we recorded this while I had a cold so my voice is probably a little off, but ik Isaac put SO much work into the editing so it would be ready on time and we have recorded statements from some amazing artists (transcriptions under the cut below!) & this is honestly one of my favorite episodes we’ve done so far, so give her a listen if you’re gay or enjoy fun things!

BIG thank you once again to everyone who participated in this month’s episode!! Your contributions are so valued and so beautiful!!

You can find us on the Itunes Podcast App/Webpage at Gay As In Stupid Podcast! You can also find our episodes uploaded to Youtube and Soundcloud!

You can also follow us on twitter at gayasinstupid!

Further Reading on LGBT Artists

Montage of a Queering Deferred: Memory, Ownership, and Archival Silencing in the Rhetorical Biography of Langston Hughes

The Political Provocations of Keith Haring 

Pop art politics: Activism of Keith Haring 

E M Forster’s Gay Fiction

Alok Vaid-Menon Tells Us What It’s Like To Be Femme In Public

Shea Diamond Speaks Her Truth

Aaron’s 2018 November Recs!

Alok Alok Vaid-Menon is one of my favorite poet/activist/performance artists out there! Their writing and stage presence is gorgeous and witty in a way that’s SO clever and still feels like you’re in a room trading jokes you don’t need to explain with your closest trans friends. The way they balance their art creates a real, deeply touching experience that feels very essential to our world.

Miles (2016) Miles is set in 1999 and is a coming of age story about a gay teenager trying to get a volleyball scholarship for college in Chicago. It’s not revolutionary and it’s not over the top dramatic, but it’s funny and honest and it makes me feel nice. Definitely the movie to watch when you’ve just been through something emotionally taxing and need a light crying session and some mediocre pastries.

Isaac’s 2018 November Recs!

The Adventure Zone I know half of you already kin the Mcelroys while the other half either don’t know or don’t care, but the Adventure Zone is one of my most favorite things in the world. It’s a DND podcast (yes, all episodes are transcribed, and they have a graphic novel for the first arc of Balance with a second one on the way!) by three brothers plus their dad, and not only does it have the most amazing story and is ungodly funny, but TONS of gays (Griffin went ape with those Lesbian NPCS)! And just because they can! Same with trans characters. It’s a story where they just exist, and that’s really important to me because in a lot of media LGBT have to almost prove why they deserve to take up space. And it’s not just something that goes on in their first campaign, Amnesty also has those sweet sweet gay! I could talk about this podcast for hours, so if you needed that final push to give it a listen, THIS IS IT!

Stardew Valley You get to farm and be gay. And if THAT hasn’t sold you on this charming video game, then maybe the super cute graphics, beautiful soundtrack and a handful of interesting characters will! TBH I spend so much time playing this game it’s concerning. It’s just such a fun way to relax, and I just really REALLY like video games were I can chose to be gay. Like. God Tier. YOU CAN HAVE CROPS AND CHICKENS AND BE GAY C’MON YALL!!

The Amazing Quotes And Artists Featured!

Meg | instagram | esty

“My identity as a bisexual woman influences my art in many ways. As a woman, i create art about the issues that effect me, such as abortion and gender equality, in order to resonate with the people that matter most to me. As a bisexual individual, my subjects often appear from a gaze that falls outside of the stereotypical eye. My figure drawings and portraits all come from a place of admiration, and don’t fall into the stereotype of the male gaze or womanly care- they are the space inbetween, equally sexualized and normalized. I feel lucky to be a bi gal in the art world because it is a place that is my own to create in. There are so many queer artists that i look up to such as Mapplethorpe and Warhol, and many female artists i can cite as influence (Jenny Holzer, Kiki Smith, and Louise Bourgeois to name a few). My identity gives me a whole new world of content to draw from and allows my work to resonate with a wider audience, and I really think that any artists goal is to reach and touch as many people as possible.“  

Cameron | twitter | instagram 

“I don’t think that it influences the form really, but it definitely influences the subject matter! (Much as I hate to admit it, my identity influences the majority of choices I make in life.) I write a lot of poems about lgbtq related things and religion, as well as other stuff too. I was raised catholic, so realizing that I was “different” at more than one point in my teen years was scary AF. Being a member of the lgbtq+ community and also trying to still feel like I belong, or wanting to, in a religious community is hard, the two things are usually at a crossroads in my life so writing about them makes it easier for me to get through. My hope is that someday someone reads what I wrote and finds some peace in their own life/experience.” 

Vince | art instagram

“Well, being transgender I feel like I’m constantly aware of the lack of representation of my community, and I feel like it might be because of that I tend to experiment with showing all sorts of different type of people in my work. Because there’s so much diversity in the world, why not showcase that?”

Fox | art instagram  

“Oof…I’m gay so my characters always be gay. Gotta Fill the void in media w my own bullshit so I don’t have to rely on straight showrunners who will inevitably discard the character since they themselves seem to have no personal attachment and treat lgbt characters as disposable extras. Bc if I don’t at least attempt to create representation in the field I’m going into then I can’t rlly complain about the lack of it right? If I don’t try and change it I can’t complain about the lack of change so being an lgbt artist is lowkey Big Pressure to be revolutionary in your work but sometime…..I just wanna draw funkey animeal and that’s aight too”

Jen | twitter | instagram

“As a female bisexual poet, I worry often that my poetry and art will be too niche to be appreciated. I’ve spent years editing my poetry down to its barest bones in hopes that someone will relate to it. Changing pronouns back and forth because I worry that if I do talk about a woman, the poem will be stripped of its context and suddenly be about my queerness when in reality it never was. When I write about love and people I have dated and have crushed on, I want the poem to exist outside of the gender of who I love. I fear my authorial death will result in a complete misinterpretation of what I mean. When I write, it truly does not matter to me if I am writing about a woman or a man. If I feel what I write and I can make someone else feel it too does it matter that I also love women? I write what matters to me overall, regardless of gender, I try to make my poetry as true as possible. Sometimes, when I catch myself over editing I try to take myself back to the moment, to the person, what I loved about him or her. “

Lain | art instagram

“My LGBT Identity has significantly impacted almost all of my art, especially my work over the last two years. Ever since I have allowed myself to accept that I am trans and began my transition (6 months on T!), the impact that my Roman Catholic upbringing has had on my bisexual trans identity has bled into my artwork. Because of the way I was raised, accepting and allowing myself to be authentic has been an upward struggle. And what better way to process and document struggle than art?  

Much of my recent work has had a focus on the trans body, particularly the “sanctity” of self-actualization and the god-like power that comes with accepting and creating yourself in the unique and exceptional way that LGBT people must in order to live authentically. Two of my pieces on this topic were actually recently exhibited at UWM in the Trans-lucent exhibition, and will remain there until December 15th (I think). I got sick and tired of never seeing trans representation, so now I am creating that space that I crave in my own work.”

Kobe | instagram | soundcloud

“My art from is very influenced by my LGBT identity. It is very influenced by my LGBT black Identity. I think that whenever an artist makes their art (in my case writing music, singing, dancing) they should incorporate as much of themselves as possible. I think my LGBT identity definitely adds a sense of representation as well. I want people like me to listen to my music to know they aren’t alone. So it influences my work a lot. “

Nat | art instagram

“I think the fact that I am part of the LGBT+ community influences my art directly. Even though I don’t draw as often as I wish, I believe both my drawings and college projects (I am a 3d art/animation student), and my creativity in general is inspired by my personal experiences as a gay woman and common things experienced by the community. I try as often as I can to bring representation of some kind in the things I do, mainly personal projects. I also feel that it influences me on my motivation to keep creating; whenever I listen to, see drawings, watch movies or see whatever form of artistic expression from LGBT+ artists it gives me the energy to keep going, to keep creating.”