#but i am moving in like. three weeks. and it is 2 a.m. and i am supposed to be cleaning the counters and i have work at 12 p.m.

[thegempage]

i want. to chew on tfr analysis videos. i have no time to make those videos but goddamn if i'm not thinking about them

[spencerrreiddd]

Three, Two, One. - Chapter 1

Summary: You and Spencer have worked in the BAU together for years, since the beginning but now, he's your boss and something quite big is happening in your life & soon to be Spencer's life after needing each others help to unwind.

Pairing: UnitChief!Spencer Reid x Fem!BAU!Reader

WC: 3.3k

Warnings: Pregnancy, Angst, Cheating??

A/N: LOW & BEHOLD- here lays my first beauty. - my apologies is this is complete shit, I have not written in a while & I may have to get my special touch back. - anyways, i hope you guys like it ! 🔪🤍

Three, Two, One. Chaper 2.

three, two, one-

pregnant.

You were pregnant. You were pregnant with your bosses baby.

Spencer has not always been your boss, you actually started working for the BAU a month before he had even started working there.

He took over Emily's position once she moved up to FBI Director a few months back, at that congratulations party is when something sparked between you and Spencer- just, neither of you acted on it

You remember exactly how and when it happened too, it was the party after his promotion to Unit Chief. Goddamn promotion parties. You didn’t think you drank that much, until you woke up naked beside your new boss.

The temptation to pack a bag and hop on a flight across the world sounded so appetizing right now in your mind, too bad that it isn't realistic & you were going to have to face the facts and that was including, him.

There was never any “no speaking of this” - only us meeting up at my apartment, his apartment, our hotel rooms when we were on a case and needed to ‘unwind’ - the last time you and Spence had even slept together was 2-3 weeks ago anyway, of course when y'all needed to unwind after a case. Who could've guessed that one?

You were snatched from your thoughts when you heard your phone ringing from your bedroom- running for it, you were hoping that it wasn't Spencer.

‘Penelope Garcia 🖥️💖🍩’ 'thank the heavens' you silently think to yourself

“What’s up, Penny”

“Spencer is busy, he put me on duty to call you to find out if you plan to show your face at work today, ya know- since it is a work day and no show, no calls are frowned upon here" Your neck snaps to look at your alarm clock.

"Also, he wants to see you in his office once you get here"

7:32 A.M - have I seriously been staring at a positive pregnancy test for an entire hour?

“Fuck. See you soon. I'm leaving right now"

The short drive to work felt longer than it should have, probably because you took back roads to avoid having to see him again so soon. If you were already running late, what is a few extra minutes?

So many thoughts flying through your mind. How are you going to tell him? Oh hey, by the way, ya knocked me up so what’s the plan bud?!

“I'm doomed" You mutter to yourself getting out of your vehicle to go face reality, to go face the man of your now growing child. This has to be a nightmare.

Getting off of the elevator, the first person you saw was Alvez- boy, you were thankful that it wasn't Spencer, even though you'd be seeing him in just a few minutes.

"Looks like you saw a ghost"

"Yeah, Luke, something like that"

"You want to talk about it?"

"Not right now, I just want to forget about it- I need to see Pen" yeah, Y/N, like you'll actually be able to forget about it.

You make a beeline directly for Penelope's office, you have to tell someone about this before you actually lose your mind.

"Pen, I have news and it has to stay between you and I only"

"Your secret is safe with me, my love"

"I'm pregnant.. with Spencer's baby" you hesitated even saying the last part but wow, that felt good to get off of your chest, too bad it won't feel this easy with Spencer. Just thinking of having to tell him has you feeling like someone is choking you out.

"Oh."

"Oh? Pen, I am in a state of panic, a state of shock and you say 'Oh'- I don't know what to even begin to do here or how to even tell Reid that I am carrying his.. spawn"

"Spencer has a girlfriend or did, as far as I kn- okay, when did you find out” She cuts herself after seeing the look of horror on your face after hearing the beginning of her sentence, understandably so!

You were NOT the type of person to sleep with a taken man.

You were confident that you were about to face plant the ground right here and now in Penelope’s office. Did Spencer have a girlfriend or not? And were you about to go physically fight him for doing this to her, if so? You would be considering yourself jobless at that point.

“I found out this morning, literal minutes before you called me to get my ass here” you were in a pure state of panic and you had many good reasons as to why.

“How long has he had a girlfriend, Pen?” you continued- you were sure your skin was blistering with how hot it was at this point. Was it hot out of anger or the panic attack that was charging at you? Who knows anymore because you didn’t care enough in this single second to sit and determine that.

"I don't know, he just mentioned a date a few weeks ago then didn't mention anything again but I know he's still in communication with her and by the contact name in his phone, I don't think they are just friends" Penelope lets you in on all of this, nervously- like she isn't supposed to be saying anything at all.

"Thanks, Pen" You murmur to her her as you leave, you have to leave her office, the longer you are in there, the more it feels like the walls are literally closing in on you.

Walking into the hallway, you don't know which direction to go- You should probably go see Spencer and give him some bullshit excuse as to why you were late.

It was barely 8 A.M, maybe it was past 8 A.M now- your mind is going too fast to try and keep up with time. Regardless, it's too early in the morning to drop a pregnancy announcement on someone.

Finally, you muster up the courage to walk into the bullpen to go on the hunt for Spencer, as much as your mind and body are telling you to just bolt to your car and never look back.

"Tara, do you know where Spencer is?" You ask quietly, so that you don't disturb the others around you

"No, I saw him walk out of his office a few minutes ago but I haven't seen him go back in. If you find him before me, let me know because I need to go over some things with him"

"I'll go knock and see if he's back, thanks Tara"

You can visibly see his blinds are closed but majority of the time they are closed anyways, so that doesn't even matter to you. Walking up the flight of stairs to get to his office is exhausting, it feels like your legs weigh 1000 pounds each.

Standing in front of his office, you hear talking inside- You can very clearly hear a females voice inside talking to him but you honestly couldn't tell if she was over the phone or actually in his office by how muffled it is, it's safe to assume that it is a phone call.

"No going back now since you're already here" You mumble to yourself

Knock, knock, knock

"Come in" You hear a muffled Spencer behind the door

As your opening the door, you quickly hear him state to the woman on the phone 'I have to go, I'll see you tonight' - God, as if you haven't already wanted to run away all morning, it keeps getting worse.

"Pen said you wanted to see me?"

"Yes, please sit" He says, gesturing to the chair

"Are you okay, Y/N? - You were late this morning, we've worked together for many years now and you've never once ran late, it's not like you not to communicate" You can see on his face that he cares, he didn't bring you in here to give you a lecture over something small, especially since this is your first time ever running late.

"Y-yes, I just woke up late and then getting to my car, I realized I had a flat, so I had to ask my neighbor to use his pump to fill it" You lied straight through your pearly white teeth and you were confident that he knew it to, just by the look he was giving you

He stares at you for a moment, trying to read you for anything. You were thankful for the fact that sometimes you were an impossible person to read

"Please, just communicate next time- It's not a big deal you were late, we just didn't know what was going on until I had Garcia get a hold of you"

"I will, you have my word- Am I good to go now?" You ask while standing up, yes, the talk went better than expected but you still wanted out of this office as fast as possible.

"Yes, thank you for coming to talk to me. Oh, also before I forget to mention it, at some point today whenever we both have free time, I would like to have a conversation. If it's just at the end of the day that's fine. It just needs to happen"

All you can bring yourself to do is nod your head and walk out of the room, based on the ass end of the phone call you walked in on- You have a pretty good hunch what he will be saying to you, especially after what Garcia also let you in on

It makes your heart ache- knowing that he could have a girlfriend, knowing this thing that the two of you had will be coming to an end, by no means were you and Spencer in a committed relationship but you would be lying to yourself, if you said you hadn't gained feelings for him and actually wanted more than just a 'fuck buddy' outcome

"So, is he up in the office? I really need to see him" Tara asks while already walking up there and away from you before you can even give her an answer.

You know for a fact that you are not going to be able to focus on work at all today even if you try your hardest, your anxiety is skyrocketing through the roof waiting for this conversation with Spencer and still, wondering when and how you are going to spill the beans about carrying his growing child.

"Alright, what is your issue? Are you pregnant?" Alvez is like a brother to you, nothing has been off limits in the talking department but this just sent you for a whole loop with how bluntly he asked.

You were confident that if it were possible, your eyes would've popped right out of their sockets and into your lap.

"Alvez, I am not discussing this with you right now" you whisper yelled to him, you didn't mean to come off like a bitch at all but god only knows who could've heard him.

"Well, Y/N, If I am being entirely honest. Penelope lets some things slip from time to time" He states like it's the most obvious thing ever.

All you can seem to do is look at him like a dear in the headlights, you feel your skin getting hot and prickly, it feels like there are someones hands around your throat squeezing harder and harder by the second.

"I have to go, I need to go home, I need air" It all comes out in a panic, you get up from your desk and bolt out of the bullpen and down the stairs, you don't even care to take the elevator. You cannot be stuck in a tight spot right now, a tight spot like an elevator.

"Please, just communicate" - "I will, you have my word" the conversation in Spencer's office goes through your mind and you know that you have to communicate with him that you just left work for the day and you don't plan to come back today, atleast- you couldn't and thankfully, it was Friday.

to: Spencer 'The Genius' Reid

'I have to excuse myself for the day, I'm sorry that I am having to send you a text message about this rather than coming to your office- this is me communicating with you. I will return back to my work duties on Monday, unless of course, a case pops up over the weekend then I will be here'

'also, I know we need to have a conversation, I also have something I need to tell you- let me know when you would like this conversation to take place' -

After sending your texts to Spencer, you set your phone on DND because at this point, you don't want to deal with anything or anyone else today, emergency or not.

Driving home was an entire blur, I mean you made it home alive, so that's what matters, I guess.

Walking inside, you plop onto the couch and turn on your favorite comfort show.. Modern Family.

A few hours later, you wake up in the exact place you laid down at- you thought your couch was so comfy until now when your entire body is in pain.. well, maybe it was your horrible sleeping position.

5:13 P.M -

"sweet baby jesus on a motorbike" You mutter to yourself after looking at the clock

"what are you doing to me?" You ask while poking your non-existent baby bump, granted it was a great sleep so you weren't trying to complain- you had heard from JJ in the past that early pregnancy is exhausting and you will sleep.. ALOT.

**BACK AT THE BAU**

"I just practically asked her if it was true but maybe in a more blunt way, it wasn't meant to come out so.. blunt" Alvez explains to Penelope who apparently watched you sprint out of work.

"I specifically told you not to say anything to her about it, I didn't even mean to let it slip to you of all people, Luke. I don't even think that they were in a relationship which makes this so much more difficult for her, as I could imagine" Pen snaps back at Luke.

"It's not going past me, I'm not opening my mouth to anyone about it" Luke says while walking to the Elevator with Pen, finally the work day was over

"Yeah, you let it slip to someone or who knows, I accidentally do again and Spencer is going to find out which right now, that doesn't need to happen" Pen states while being wildly unaware of who just came up behind them

"What doesn't Spencer need to find out right now and why can't he find out right now?" He asks from directly behind Alvez and Garcia, looking between the two of them for a answer.

Luke and Penelope both seem to jump straight out of their skin, not expecting to be crept up on- in reality, it was not Spencer's plan to creep up on them, he just happened to be leaving at the exact time as them and they didn't hear him coming up in the middle of their 'supposed to be' private conversation that was happening out in the open.

"I- uh it's nothing, well, sir, it's nothing in regards to me, i'm fine- it's not my place to tell you, it wasn't my place to tell, Luke- it just slipped and I am blabbering and I just realized that I need to get home" Before Spencer or Luke could say anything to her or anything more to Spencer, she's in the elevator with the doors closing.

'Nice Penelope, real nice' Luke thinks to himself, feeling a bit annoyed and slightly scared

Turning to look behind him, he sees Spencer's eyes boring right into him like he's staring right into Luke's soul, just waiting and searching for answers.

"Is there anything that you know, Alvez?" Spencer finally breaks the silence, otherwise who knows how long the two of them would've stayed standing there in the awkward paralyzing silence.

"I just know Y/N had to leave early today because, well I don't know why but I just know she left- you're her boss too, she should've communicated with you, right?"

"Right, Luke and she did, I have been trying to text and call her since I received her messages and nothing is going through" Reid is quick to bite back, getting quite annoyed himself being left in the dark and now that he is adding the pieces together, he's assuming these secretive things that "he isn't allowed to know about currently" are about you.

"I don't have any other information, what I told you is all I know- but I do need to get home to Roxy" Luke matter-of-factly states even though Luke knows that Luke is lying, well- not about Roxy but about the first part.

"Mhm, alright. Have a good night, Luke" Spencer gave up on trying to get any information out of the turnips that don't bleed but he is confident when he says this is about you and he will get to the bottom of it.

Back at your apartment, you've finally relaxed after a nice hot shower and ordering from your favorite chinese food joint and yes, still watching your comfort show but this time from the comfort of your own bed.

You still haven't even taken your phone off of DND mode, in your mind all you thought was 'if it is important enough, you know where I live and if you don't, contact Penelope Garcia' and the most important part, you were at peace.

You weren't worried about this pregnancy, you had accepted your fate, you weren't worried about Spencer or his new situ-relationship, you weren't even worried about what had happened with Alvez or Garcia. Peace.

"jesus Spencer, what the fuck" You yell out after walking out of the room and coming face to face with him, to say that you were startled was to say the absolute least

"Well, you would've known I was coming if someone didn't have their phone on airplane mode" He bit back with a darkness in his eyes and maybe a bit of worrisome, you couldn't tell everything with how dark it was.

"I know that I gave people a key to my house for emergencies but our conversation or how I was protecting my peace on a Friday night is not an emergency and frankly, if anyone was that worried, you would've sent someone sooner" You were once again fed up and wanted to continue to be alone with your favorite person, Phil Dunphy.

"I was going to drop our conversation until this weekend or even Monday, when we see each other in person again but funny enough, I was walking out to leave for the day when I walked into Luke's and Penelope's conversation and it was about you and something that I shouldn't be finding out about right now- would you happen to know anything about that?" Spencer replied, getting more and more fed up by the second.

If Spencer didn't know any better, he would say that you looked like you just saw a ghost- he was dead on the money about the conversation and some secret rooting back to you- now to just get it out of you.

Calming down after seeing the state you were rushing into, he comes to you with a softer approach - "Y/N, I want to help you. We've known each other for years, since I started working for the BAU, please let me know. Let me know what is going on. I'm not going anywhere"

You felt like you were about to up-chuck your chinese food all over this poor man, you know you need to tell him.

'Y/N you will never know the outcome of this unless you open your mouth and spill those words to him, be brave, be bold' You think silently to yourself.

"Spencer, I'm pregnant - You are the last person I slept with. I am pregnant with your baby"

if this is horrible, sue me - i haven't written in forever and honestly, this is a little bit longer than i thought it would be - whoops!

FEEDBACK IS APPRECIATED

& yeah, yeah- i left this on a cliffhanger, if you beautiful humans actually like this, i had planned to make this a 2 parter story or who knows, if i make the next part longer then it could be 3 or more parts.

[bigslutr]

PART 2 AFTER MEETING SELENE PLEASE I LOVE U AND UR WRITINGGGGG AAAAAAA

ILYT AND IM GLAD YOU LIKE MY WIRTING HERE YOU GO!!!

Im sorry I couldn't figure out how to end this:(

Selene Whitlock

      2 Weeks Later….

You stared at the clock ticking on your apartment wall, its hands moving painfully slow. Rent was due next week and yet you haven't even found a job. You’d been denied at your latest interview. The manager had accused you of being ‘too aggressive’ though you haven't done anything wrong.  You were polite, professional—nervous, sure but not aggressive.

That word stuck with you, clawing away at your confidence. Every rejection letter began to pile up on your kitchen table until you began to wonder if maybe the city was too much for you.

Rent was approaching, and your savings were running dry.

Then, like a flash, you remembered Selene. The subway woman. Her piercing brown eyes and her silver hair came rushing back. You’d shoved her card deep into your bag, thinking it might be useful one day. Today might be that day.

You hesitated. Should you call her? It had been two weeks—would she even remember you?

You dug through your purse until you found the sleek, black card with Selene’s name printed in gold letters. Your thumb hovered over the number for a moment before you finally gave in and dialed.

The phone rang.

Once.

Twice.

Three times.

You chewed on your lip, nerves firing again, but before you could hang up, the line clicked.

“Hello?” Selene’s voice was breathy, as though she’d been running. You could hear whimpers in the background, soft and shaky, but it was hard to tell if they were human or something else.

“Uh, hi. Selene? It’s Y/N. From the subway. I… um… I’m calling because you gave me your card a couple weeks ago, and—”

“Ah, Y/N.” Her voice was warm, but there was a subtle edge to it. You heard her exhale, almost a groan, before she spoke again. “I’ve been waiting for you to call. Took you long enough.” Her tone was teasing, but something about it made your stomach tighten.

“I, um…” You began before whimpering and a woman's voice was heard on Selene's side of the call. “Am I…interrupting something?” 

“No! Nothing at all, just doing my work out!” Selene was quick to ressure you before you could speak again but then you could hear her shooing someone away.

You took in a deep breath trying to gather yourself “I was wondering if that job offer is still on the table?” you asked nervously, ignoring the strange sounds on the other end.

There was a brief pause on the other end, followed by the faint sound of something—or someone—moving in the background. Selene cleared her throat softly, her voice shifting back to that composed tone she carried so well.

“Of course, the offer still stands,” she said smoothly. “I wouldn’t leave you hanging like that, Y/N. How does tomorrow sound?”

“Tomorrow?” You blinked in surprise. “That soon?”

“Mhm,” she replied, her voice calm but carrying a subtle hint of something darker, like she’d been waiting for this exact moment. “I’ll have my assistant send you the details. We’ll meet at my office. 10 a.m., sharp.”

The line went quiet for a moment, the only sounds being the faint breaths on Selene’s end. Just when you were about to thank her, she added, “Don’t worry about anything. I’ll take care of you.”

Your heart stuttered at the unexpected intimacy in her words. You managed a soft, “Thank you, Selene.”

“Looking forward to it,” she purred before the line clicked, leaving you in the unsettling quiet of your apartment.

You set the phone down, exhaling deeply. Relief washed over you—this was the break you’d been waiting for. But there was still that lingering unease in the pit of your stomach, like the feeling you’d just made a deal with something far bigger than a simple job offer.

The Next Day

The morning came faster than you’d expected. You’d spent the night tossing and turning, replaying the strange phone call in your head. The whispers, the breathless voice, the distant whimper. You kept telling yourself it was nothing—it was probably just some fitness routine, right?

Still, as you stood in front of the towering glass building that housed Selene’s office, a knot of anxiety twisted in your chest. You took a deep breath, straightened your clothes, and stepped inside.

The receptionist greeted you with a polite smile and led you through the expansive, modern lobby to the elevator. You watched the numbers tick upward, your pulse quickening with each floor. By the time the doors slid open, your palms were sweaty.

Selene’s office was on the top floor, behind a sleek black door with her name engraved in silver lettering. You knocked, your heart pounding in your throat.

“Come in,” her voice called from inside.

You stepped through the door, and there she was, sitting behind an elegant mahogany desk, dressed in a sharp black suit that seemed customised to perfection. Her silver hair was slicked back, her brown eyes glinting as they locked onto yours.

“You made it,” she said, standing up and rounding the desk with a graceful ease. Her presence was magnetic, almost overpowering.

“I, um… yeah. Thanks again for the opportunity,” you stammered, feeling small under her intense gaze.

Selene smiled, that same smile she’d given you on the subway. “No need to thank me. I’m just glad you finally called. Now…” She paused, her eyes lingering on you for a moment too long. “Let’s get you settled.”

She motioned for you to sit, and the rest of the morning passed in a blur of introductions and explanations about your new role. You were surprised when, halfway through the meeting, Selene made an unexpected offer.

“How would you feel about starting as my personal secretary?”

“Wha—-Wait—what? I thought I was here for an entry-level position.”

Her eyes gleamed, and she leaned in closer, her voice a soft purr. “I think you’re perfect for something more… intimate.”

You swallowed hard, trying to process her words. “I—I don’t know what to say.”

“Just say yes,” she whispered, her hand gently grazing your arm. “You won’t regret it.”

                     Weeks Later

Time passed quickly after that first day. You’d taken the offer, convincing yourself that it was too good of an opportunity to turn down. And at first, everything seemed perfect, Selene was sweet, almost too sweet, making sure you had everything you needed, complimenting your work daily. But the longer you worked for her, the more unsettling her behaviour became.

She was always close—too close. Her touches lingered longer than they should, her compliments laced with something deeper. At first, you thought it was all in your head, but soon you couldn’t deny it. Selene wasn’t just interested in you as her secretary…she was interested in you.

One evening, after staying late to finish up some paperwork, you felt her presence behind you before she even spoke.

“You’ve been working so hard, Y/N,” she said, her breath warm against your ear. You flinched but tried to keep your focus on the task in front of you.

“I—I’m just trying to make sure everything’s perfect for tomorrow,” you mumbled, feeling her lean in even closer.

Her hand rested on your shoulder, her fingers gently trailing down your arm. “It’s more than perfect. You’re more than perfect.”

Your throat tightened, and you swallowed hard, unsure how to respond. Selene’s grip tightened ever so slightly, and her voice dropped to a near whisper. “You don’t have to be afraid, you know. I’ll take care of you.”

[nishayuro]

The way I loved you - Bakugo Katsuki

Collection: Spotify playlist song prompts

Genre: Angst, Hurt/No comfort

GN! Reader

A/N:okay so the way I do these is I spin a wheel for songs, for fandom then character. and when the way i loved you came out and MHA got chosen as the fandom I was like, “omg what if bakugo…” and iT WENT TO BAKUGO’S SDFGHJ THIS IS FATE

Synopsis: You’re happy, you’re with the perfect guy, you’re living the ideal romance that everyone dreams of. But why do you still long to be in his arms? 

“He says everything I need to hear, and it's like I couldn't ask for anything better” 

Perfect. Ideal. Came out of a fairytale. These are all words that people describe when they see you with your partner, and you can’t even deny. 

It’s true, he’s charming, intelligent, strong, loving, caring, loyal, and all these other perfect qualities. You feel like you’ve hit the jackpot. 

“Love?” a voice calls out, you snap out of your thoughts and look towards the man in front of you, your boyfriend of 2 years. “oh , yeah sorry just got lost in thought” you said, giving him a smile. 

“Hmm, penny for your thoughts?” he grinned, holding out a hand towards you. “Just thinking of how perfect you are” you admitted, a smile adoring your face. 

“Oh? Well, you, my dear, are more perfect than one could ever hope to be. How’d I get lucky to even pull you? I have no idea, "he teased, linking his arms with yours. “Let’s go, we don’t want to be late for our date” you say, pulling him out the door. “Oh and by the way, you look wonderful tonight” he says, pressing a kiss on your hand. 

“And he says, "You look beautiful tonight" And I feel perfectly fine”

The drive to the restaurant was quick, both of you joking to each other on the way. When you got there, he got out of the car to open your side, escorting you out. “Wow, what a gentleman~” you teased. “Only the best for my love,” he replied. You both walk towards the entrance, hand in hand. As he confirmed your reservations with the receptionist, your eyes scanned the place. 

Big glass windows lined the walls, giving a wonderful view of the city lights. The ceiling was lined with fancy chandeliers, illuminating the room with a wondrous glow. You're thinking about how well the lighting will be for your pictures later on. A waiter leads you both to a table near the sides, a bit secluded but still gives a great view of the whole room. 

He pulls out your chair, sitting you down before he sits down himself. As you ordered your food, you both decided to indulge in conversation, like how your parents are inviting him over for a birthday party, or how your brother was asking him if he’d like to join them in a basketball match next week. 

This is the romance you’ve dreamt of since young. This is the life you’ve always wanted. But why, as you move your gaze to the table behind him, do your eyes hold a sense of sorrow and longing? 

“But I miss screaming and fighting and kissing in the rain, And it's 2 a.m. and I'm cursing your name”

Your relationship with Katsuki Bakugo was one you’d call imperfect. He was loud, brash, and arrogant. He’d often be late to dates, coming home late at night and leaving early in the morning, and forgetting important dates because of the nature of his job as a hero.  As much as you tried to understand him, it was just too much. 

You couldn’t live like that anymore, living with uncertainty, living like he’s not even part of your life. Soon, one fight turned into two, two turned into three, and three turned into a screaming fest at 2 am. 

“Holy shit, Katsuki! Is it so much to ask for you to make just a bit of time for me?!” you screamed, tears threatening to fall. “Do I look like I can?! Hero work is already stressful enough, I don’t even get an ounce of rest before I’m called back again!” he shouts back, annoyance visible in his voice. 

You pace the room, tears running down your face. “Why are we still even in a relationship then?! I can’t live like this anymore, Katsuki! I can’t live like this anymore. I can’t live like you don’t even exist in my life…” you cried, grabbing a jacket and leaving through the front door of his apartment. 

“You're so in love that you act insane, And that's the way I loved you”

“Y/N! Wait!” Katsuki shouted, running after you, rain pouring down like it's insulting him. “Y/N, please!” he shouts, catching up to you and encasing you in his arms. “Please, don’t go…” He whispers, eyes looking into yours. And even though Katsuki was loud, brash and arrogant, you still loved him. He was still your Katsuki. So in a moment of weakness, your lips connected with his. 

You pulled away to catch your breath, looking him in the eye. As much as you loved the man in front of you, you still can’t see yourself living that life, not even with him. 

“I’m sorry, Kats. But I really can’t anymore. I love you, but this is goodbye.” You declared, placing one last kiss on his lips before turning back and walking away. He stared at your retreating figure, his own tears mixing in with the rain, weeping with him for the end of his 3 years with you. 

“He can't see the smile I'm faking, And my heart's not breaking”

His bright red eyes caught your (e/c) coloured own. He was… on a date? You looked at the person he was with, and your heart clenched. Why are you feeling this? You’re on a date of your own. “Honey, you good?” your partner asked, concern evident in his face. “I’m fine, just got distracted by the decoration” you lie, you feel guilty. It's been years, and he’s still lingering in your heart. 

You tried to ignore Katsuki at the other table, your partner making that a little easier. A waiter comes to your table and places down a dish in front of you, “Oh, we didn’t order dessert yet.” You said, motioning to the dish. “No, I actually did.” Your boyfriend interrupted, a smile on his face. 

The waiter opens the lid and you see a cake with a drawing of a ring. Oh fuck. You thought, your boyfriend got down on one knee, a box in hand. Your eyes widen, looking around, you spot those same red eyes, wide as well and staring back at you. 

Your boyfriend went on with his proposal speech, while your mind was running a mile a minute. You love him, but you’re conflicted… “Y/N, will you make me the happiest man and marry me?” and there it is, the question. 

“And I never knew I could feel that much, And that's the way I loved you”

You looked at him, still in shock. Your eyes drifted to the back, Katsuki was no longer looking at you or the scene, he had his full attention towards his date. And you realized, even if your heart still yearned for him. You will never go back, you can’t go back. 

You looked towards your boyfriend, a smile plastered on your face. This was your dream life, you’re living your fantasies. You have what you wanted, even if it wasn’t him. 

“Yes, Eijiro… Yes.” You answered. 

masterlist

navigation

[thegreenleavesofspring]

By the way, when I say that the American church has FAILED, this is what I'm talking about:

The email I sent to Focus on the Family a couple weeks ago, identifying information redacted:

Hello,

My name is [redacted] and I followed a link to one of your website's articles - about Biblical discipline - and saw the massive donation solicitation banner at the top of the website, saying any donations would go to families in need.

My mother is very much in need.

She is 61 and severely disabled, mentally and physically. In 2016 she had a stroke, which type has a 70% death rate and of the remaining 30%, the vast majority never recover any cognitive or physical function. She is a medical outlier in that she recovered both - through odds so astronomical it is a blatant miracle she survived at all - to some degree. But now her cognitive abilities are declining, as well as her mobility and eyesight: she is effectively 100% disabled.

She is also currently undergoing an eviction since she can no longer pay rent. She had planned to move into her car, but earlier this week it had an oil/engine failure that will require about $7,000 of work to repair. Her insurance would pay for it, save that she has a $1,000 deductible she cannot afford.

She gets $914 a month in disability.

I am a single mother of three boys five and under; my husband has walked out on us and does not pay child support and I cannot get any legal division to enforce it. I make $1,000 a month, and also do not own a car or have any sort of transportation. I order her groceries online and try to get small expenses for her when I can, and that is the most aid I am currently able to offer.

Right now she just needs her car repaired. But we do not have $1,000 for that deductible.

We have spent weeks calling every phone number and resource in the area and even the state. The churches send us to the government, the government sends us to the NGOs, the NGOs send us to the churches. No one helps.

Your website claims you help families. I looked under the "get help" tab and found nothing of any use, hence this email.

Will you help my family?

Sincerely,

~~~~

I got this in return:

Dear [Redacted],

Thank you for writing to Focus on the Family. Your willingness to share your concerns means a lot to us, and we want you to know we care about you, your dear mother, and your children. 

Our hearts are heavy after reading about the serious financial problems your disabled mother is facing right now. We’re especially concerned to hear that her car has broken down and she has no place to call home. Though we realize you’ve already asked for assistance from churches and a number of organizations, we recommend you contact the Salvation Army. You can visit their website at: Salvation Army: Housing and Homeless Services. We’d also like to mention three more online sources of information: National Coalition for the Homeless,  2-1-1 Get Help,  Catholic Charities USA. We can’t guarantee that they will be able to provide the help you need, nor can we say with certainty that they consistently uphold Christian values and ethics. Nevertheless, we think it would be worthwhile to find out what services are available. Please note that our mentioning these organizations should not be taken as an endorsement by our ministry.

Be assured we’re praying for the Lord to comfort your mother, provide for her many needs, and lead her to a safe place to live. We’re also asking God to surround you and your three young sons with caring people who will offer their support and help you in practical ways. 

Along with praying for you, we invite you to call the Christian counselors on our staff if you think it might be helpful to discuss your concerns with caring professionals. They might be able to offer additional suggestions and useful referral information. To reach them, please call 1-855-771-HELP (4357) any weekday between 6:00 A.M. and 8:00 P.M. (MT). Someone on our staff will ask for your name and phone number in order to arrange for a counselor to return your call as soon as they’re able. This service is available at no cost to you.

[Redacted], we understand you contacted our ministry because you saw a banner on our website indicating that all donations to our ministry are used to help families in need.  In order to provide clarification, we need to explain that the purpose of our ministry is to respond to the spiritual, emotional, and psychological needs of individuals and families. We do this by praying, providing books and other resources, airing broadcasts that address the serious issues many people face, and offering one free consultation with a professional Christian counselor on our staff. The financial contributions we receive are used to accomplish these objectives.

While it’s true that our ministry has been privileged on occasion to provide financial assistance to those experiencing hardships, our capacity to do this is limited as we are primarily a media ministry. Unfortunately, as much as we would like to, we’re not always able to offer monetary aid to the many individuals and families whose needs are brought to our attention. We’re so sorry to disappoint you.

Thanks again for writing to us, [Redacted]. God bless you and your loved ones, and may He always be the strength of your heart and your refuge.

[Redacted]

Focus on the Family

~~~~

I'll hand it to the Catholics. They do try. But their assistance is focused primarily on Catholics - quite understandable - and within their own parishes - equally understandable.

You might as well ask a brick wall for help as any Protestant church. Actually the brick wall probably at least won't - more or less literally - slam a door in your face.

I know good and well that my mother, my family, is not the only one in such dire straits. There is nowhere to turn - least of all our 'brothers' and 'sisters'.

One of these days the leaders of all these churches - these vastly wealthy mega churches and the haughty local churches and all of them - are going to have to answer to Christ about all the blood on their hands of their own people they left to starve and freeze and die in the streets.

(I'd bet good money - if I had any - that they'll have the money to put on a Christmas pageant this year.)

[daydadahlias]

hi hii 🌸 weird questions for writers: 12, 17, 28 and 35 pls? ily

hii adi !! thank u for asking !! ily

12.  If a genie offered you three writing wishes, what would they be? Btw if you wish for more wishes the genie turns all your current WIPs into Lorem Ipsum, I don’t make the rules

Wow, this is like the most interesting and fun question ever. I definitely wouldn’t wish for more wishes because that’s cheating duh. I’m trying to think of what I really struggle with while writing. I think my first wish would be to always remember those super fantastic 2 a.m. ideas I have but never write down. It’s literally the worst thing ever to go to bed having a super great idea and then waking up going “wait, shit, what was that idea again?” I think my second wish would be to always know how to end a scene! There are so many scenes I have that I think fall a little flat in their transition to the next one because I’m just going “oh shit I need to cut this off so I can get to the next.” So I would wish that I always knew the perfect transition line to end a scene. And my final wish… hmm. OOO it would to never have any continuity errors in my writing lol!! I’m not great at math so figuring out timing for fics and the timeline is always really confusing for me and I’m TOTALLY sure about half my fics have some type of plot hole related to the timeline. So, my third wish would be to always have an understandable and cohesive timeline in a fic that has no inconsistencies or continuity errors <3

17. Talk to me about the minutiae of your current WIP. Tell me about the lore, the history, the detail, the things that won’t make it in the text.

I SHOULDNT! I shouldn’t get into it, Adi, you’ll be here for DAYS. I am having literally the time of my life writing up all the little background details for this fic right now (this is my lil chaptered groupie fic im working on) and I think Most of them will make their way into the text somehow so I won't give, like, too many spoilers But there’s also plenty of stuff that won’t make it in there! Like, I had to make up this fake band for the fic (Lovelace) and to do that, I had to plan their albums/setlist for their tour (so I knew what tf i was talking about when writing). And to do that, I had to write a little bit of every single song they have!! So for the last week or so, I made a masterdoc and wrote a verse or two from every single one of their songs (which is 24 songs so I'm kind of giving 5sos a run for their money). Obviously, a few of these lyrics will find their way into the fic (like I've already included some in the first chapter) but definitely not all of them (because a couple songs are written really badly lmao) so it’s just a pretty cool little secret thing to have to help me write !!! and then there’s also a lot of backstory/history about the forming of the band (and some band dynamic stuff) that me and Ashley have talked about but I don’t know how much of that will or won’t appear in the fic yet <3 there's also the whole planning all the venues and the shows dates and what hotels they're staying at aaaa. I could never work in the industry it's way too much planning. but i think the coolest part of the process so far has been designing and writing the albums <3  

28. Who is the most delightful character you’ve ever written? Why?

Aw this is a cute one. Hmm i think the answer is Take Notes Calum tbh!! He was so much fun to write and, honestly, I’ve really struggled trying to write any characters like him moving forward. Like he’s just kind of Weird. He’s very manic pixie dream boyfriend coded. I had the most fun writing Take Notes because it was so silly while also kind of serious and in most of my other work I struggle to really reattain that balance. Like I feel as though I tip either one way or the other and TN was really the only fic that rode the line super well. And I think that was in large part due to the way I wrote Calum in that fic so!! I really enjoyed him and wish I could write him again!!

35. What’s your favorite writing rule to smash into smithereens?

Great question because there are a lot of writing “rules” i DO follow pretty closely so it’s hard to know exactly which ones I break. I’ve heard writers say to “avoid prologues” but I really love a prologue so that’s something. OO I will say !! a big rule of advice I got in high school creative writing was “don’t write a hobo in space story” (this is from a really good short story that talked about all the short stories you shouldn’t write lol) which is basically a story where two characters just hang out and talk and nothing really Happens except for them talking. And, honestly, i fucking love a hobo in space story. I love a scene where it’s just two dudes Talking. So i definitely do that sort of thing a lot even though i was told not to lol <3

[bookgeekgrrl]

My media this week (31 Dec 2023-6 Jan 2024)

📚 STUFF I READ 📚

😊 The PostScript Murders (Harbinder Kaur #2) (Elly Griffiths, author; Nina Wadia, narrator) - entertaining cozy mystery (even tho Harbinder is an actualfax police officer). Though it's nominally Harbinder's series, she's just one of the characters, not the main character per se. Anyway, I enjoyed!

💖💖 +366K of shorter fic so shout out to these I really loved (YULETIDE, BABEY!) 💖💖

Put to Their Books (ribbons) - Sotherans twitter acct; KJ Charles' England & WDA series: archie/daniel, fen/pat, 2K - v clever modern social media AU feat Southerns, cameo by AZ Fell

A Particular Force (TwoWeevils) - The Will Darling Adventures (KJ Charles): will/kim, 5K - Yuletide 2023

It was of this that he had been dreaming (ExceptMaybeYou) - We Could Be So Good (Cat Sebastian): andy/nick, 4K - Yuletide 2023

Permanent Residence (Nabielka) - The Cabots (Cat Sebastian): peter/caleb, 1.7K - Yuletide 2023, 'on staying in California'

Finest of the Flavors (whetherwoman) - Lilywhite Boys Series (KJ Charles): jerry/alec, 5K - Yuletide 2023

I love you--all I can (goseaward) - England Series (KJ Charles): bill/jimmy, 5K - Yuletide 2023, Bill & Jimmy across 30 years

The Alternatives of Summer (iberiandoctor (jehane)) - Call Me By Your Name: oliver/elio, 8K - Yuletide 2023, 8 yrs later Elio & Oliver meet at Fire Island

The Matrimonial State (beautifulduckweed) - The Cabots (Cat Sebastian): tommy/everett, 4K - Yuletide 2023, "Being a short account of three different weddings in Massachusetts attended by Thomas Cabot and Everett Sloane."

📺 STUFF I WATCHED 📺

Zarna Garg: One in a Billion

Midsomer Murders - s24, e3-4

Dirty Laundry - s3, e9

D20: Escape From The Bloodkeep - e1-5

🎧 PODCASTS 🎧

Hit Parade - The Bridge: Moguls Can’t Be Choosers

Desert Island Discs - Marina Abramović, performance artist

Overinvested - Ep. 291: Doctor Who 2023 specials

Welcome to Night Vale - The Haunting of Night Vale

Vibe Check - My Spiritual Finger Is Wagging

Today, Explained - Israel’s next move

Films To Be Buried With - Chelsea Peretti

Pop Culture Happy Hour - Books We Love: No Biz Like Showbiz

What Next: TBD - Why the New York Times Sued OpenAI

Up First - Trump's Pardon Promise, The Islamic State's Iran Attack, Jeffrey Epstein Conspiracies

Endless Thread - This episode is a sign from the universe

Dear Prudence - I Don’t Want to Cancel My Retirement Plans to Babysit. Help!

Cautionary Tales - DANGER: Rocks Ahead!

Our Opinions Are Correct - New mini episode! All about our cats

You're Dead to Me - Catherine the Great

What Next: TBD - Tesla's Cybertruck Problem

Wait Wait… Don't Tell Me! - WWDTM: Now With Real Journalists!

Up First - Jan. 6 Insurrection Revisited, Blinken to Israel, COVID Resurgence.

Under the Influence with Terry O'Reilly - Disappearing Acts: When Popular Brands Are Discontinued

🎶 MUSIC 🎶

The Essential REO Speedwagon {2004}

I Wanna Know What Love Is

Soft Rock Ballads

Relaxing '80s Rock

Merengue Mix

AM In The A.M.: '70s Pop Morning

"Beach Baby" [First Class] radio

'70s Mellow Gold

'80s Slow Dance

[subtile-jagden]

Oswald Boelcke - Part 3

Der Meister

The war diary of the squadron reads on August 27th, 1916: “Jagdstaffel 2 meets under the leadership of Captain Boelcke. Officers and enlisted men come from different departments. Existing: 3 officers, 64 non-commissioned officers and enlisted men. - Accommodation: officers live in Bertincourt, enlisted men in barracks. - Airplanes: there aren't any yet. - Activity: setting up the airport.” Boelcke had a lot of work to do in the following weeks to get the unit fully operational. In early September Richthofen and Boehme arrived, as well as Max Müller (a very successful Bavarian pilot, see: https://www.tumblr.com/subtile-jagden/714297390685929472/just-finished-this-book-about-max-ritter-von?source=share). On the 2nd September Boelcke used one of the three so far arrived aeroplanes and shot down his 20th victory. This highly puplished event hit like a bomb; after all, the people hadn't heard from Boelcke for almost two months. As Boelcke was almost the only one with a plane, he flew a lot and shot down five enemies in the first half of September. Finally, on the 17th September some more machines arrived so that the Staffel could fly together for the first time, resulting in victories for Boelcke, Böhme, Richthofen and Reimann. About his new students he writes his parents: “My gentlemen are all very passionate and eager and capable, but I still have to train them to properly work together – in their eargerness to achieve something, they sometimes still are like young dachshunds.”

Boelcke, like most of the pilots, had no personal contempt against his opponents: “We have nothing at all against the individual pilot, we only fight his flying against us.”

Just as they were able to complete their set-up, English bombers and artillery attacked Bertincourt, causing Boelcke to move his Staffel. By then Boelcke was able to up his victory list to 31. The fighting on the Somme weakened significantly, partly because the fighter pilots' excellent performance ensured that enemy aviators were no longer able to see behind German lines. Boelcke enjoyed great popularity with his men. He was strict and demanding but never without reason. “It is difficult to express with what devotion and love we clung to him in our inner circle of comrades. Never before has a comrade been loved by his comrades, a superior by his subordinates, as he has.”

In his last ever letter, Boelcke told his parents about his 35th victory on the 17th October. On the 26th he shot down number 40. On the 28th his life was over.

The End

The stress of the hard fights and worries about the future did not go unnoticed. “My captain became more and more serious and haggard”, reported Boelcke's orderly. On some day he went up seven times and on the ground he had a lot of organisational work to do. He was supposed to go on leave but “I am needed here!”. At seven a.m. first reports of English planes over the lines alerted Boelcke to start with his own men to fight them off. Four times they went up, all that before it was even noon. At around five p.m. they were called upon once more for help.

Oswald Boelcke is undefeated in the air. No enemy brought him down. It was unfortunately one of his own man who collided with him in what was a pure accident. Erwin Böhme, handpicked by Boelcke to join him and a great admirer of him, writes to his fiancé about the tragic event: “Boelcke and I had an Englishman between us when another enemy, being chased by friend Richthofen, cut our way. Boelcke and I, hampered by our wings, didn't see each other for a moment while we were avoiding each other at lightning speed - and that's when it happened. Our planes brushed against each other, just a light touch, but fatal at the high speeds. Fate is usually so cruelly unreasonable in its choice: only one side of the undercarriage was torn away from me, the outermost piece of the left wing was torn away from him. I had to see how he couldn't straighten his machine anymore and how he crashed next to a battery position. I was utterly distraught, but still had hope. But when we got there in the car, the body was already being brought towards us. He died instantly at the moment of impact. Boelcke never wore a crash helmet and didn't buckle up in the Albatros either - otherwise he might have survived the not-too-violent impact.” Manfred von Richthofen also reported on the incident: “I look around and observe how Boelcke is attacking his victim about 200 m next to me. A good friend of his flies by. Both shot - the Englishman was about to fall at any moment. Suddenly, an unnatural movement can be observed in the two airplanes. I had never witnessed a mid-air collision and had imagined it to be much different. It was just a touch. But at the speed that such an airplane has, every light touch is a violent impact.”

Interesting is the fact, that Richthofen doesn´t mention going after an enemy himself, crossing in front of Boelcke and Böhme. Maybe he did not realize that he did, maybe it was not something that the public should know. Richthofens account is in his biography “Der Rote Kampfflieger”, published at the hight of his popularity. To give the impression that he was partially to blame for Boelcke's death would be fatal.

In the end no one was to blame as it was a truly unfortunate accident. But of course Boehme was devastated. “Outwardly, I've got myself under control again to some extent. But in the quiet hours I always remember the horrible moment when I had to see my master and friend fall next to me - the nagging question arises again and again: Why did he, the irreplaceable one, and not I have to be the victim of this blind fate - because neither he nor I was to blame for the disaster?!”. When Boelckes family came to escort his body home, they met with Böhme and a friendship betweem them was formed that lasted until Boehmes own death one year one month and one day after Boelcke´s.

The death of this national hero sent a shockwave through the Empire and the German front lines. Boelcke is no more!

On the 31st October 1916 the funeral ceremony took place in Cambrai. The coffin was laid out in front of the altar of the cathedral. Crown Prince Rupprecht of Bavaria appeared at the head of the generals, and General von Below represented the Kaiser. Manfred von Richthofen carried Boelcke's Ordenskissen (pillow with all his medals).

He was laid to rest in his home town of Dessau.

On the front the fight rages on. New pilots filled the gaps of the fallen. Inspired by Boelcke's spirit, best expressed by General Thomsen: "I want to be a Boelcke!"

Sources:

Boelcke, by Prof. Dr. Johannes Werner (1932)

Der Rote Kampfflieger, by Manfred von Richthofen (1917)

Briefe eines deutschen Kampffliegers an ein junges Mädchen, by Prof. Dr. Johannes Werner (1930)

Immelmann, der Adler von Lille, by Franz Immelmann (1934)

[original-orbus]

Stories from Argo Academy part 2

Once again crossposted on A03. Will link that and the last part at the end.

Hello once again, and welcome to my 3 a.m. writing, Sesh. Today I have for you a follow-up or parallel chapter following Josephine. To set the scene, this is the second part of a three- or four-parter, setting up Argo Academy and opening the floor to more demigod stories. Don't worry though; you will still see a lot of these two after this resolves. Also, I don't know how to denote text messages in writing, so I will place them in these things until I get a better idea.

Being a child of Poseidon comes with its ups and downs. On the one hand, you have an incredibly powerful heritage, only truly rivaled by the children of the other big three. But on the other hand, you are perpetually stuck in second place, always falling behind someone or something.

For Josephine, this wasn't as big a deal; she was always comfortable where she lay, able to satisfy her desires, and fit wherever she needed to be. However, there were times when even she would look towards someone else and wish that maybe she could stand where they stood, have what they had, or perhaps even drag them down to her level. She was like the ocean in those kinds of ways, fluid and warm, but also greedy and envious at times.

There had been a lot of that this week. First, she had to deal with a transfer camper practically hanging off her partner Charlie (the son of Apollo), which, all in all, wasn't actually that bad, but it set a precedent for the week to come. Then she got into a fight with a son of Zeus over bathroom cleaning duty, where she so desperately wanted to emulate a previous Poseidon child and blast their ass. And to top it all off, tonight her frustrations almost boiled over because her friends cancelled their night out at the last minute, only to go out with their other friends. Maybe this last one wasn't as bad, but she had been looking forward to tonight, giving her a much-needed escape from her camp responsibilities for just one night, and so to have it pulled out from beneath her left her feeling some type of way.

So now she lay upon the roof of her cabin, staring up into the night sky, watching the stars, and trying to get her mind off her woes. It wasn't as easy to see the stars out here as it was back home, but at least laying here like this brought her back then momentarily.

She couldn't help but remember those nights every now and then, back when she still lived out at sea, when nothing else mattered besides the metal beneath you and the dark waters around you. Back then, it was just her and her mom, living off the sea for half the year and staying on the mainland for the other half.

As these memories rose within her, she began to feel the sting of saltwater in her eyes once again as she clenched her jaw and fought to stay afloat as the waves came crashing down inside her.

After what seemed like an eternity but was most likely just a matter of minutes, Josephine regained control of her vessel and stilled the waters.

She would sit up from her position on the roof and look out over the camp, the place she called home for half her life, and something she had been musing about for weeks would click into place.

Despite every bad thing she's experienced since coming here, Camp Half-Blood was truly home to her.

But it was time to move on, to find something better. She would push herself off the roof as she pulled out her phone, steps of water forming underneath her as she formulated a message to send.

~If you are receiving this message, then I think you would be interested in what I have to say. I love Camp Half-Blood, but despite that, I'm leaving camp. I'm hoping to go out there and create something new, another safe space for demigods. I don't know if I will succeed, but I feel like it is something I must do. I am extending an invitation to you all, whether you choose to accept it or not. If you are interested, meet down at the lake at midnight.~

As she typed and erased, and typed and erased, she would make her way over to a familiar cabin, covered in colors that seemed to drain life out of everything around it. The Hades cabin is the home of Kenneth Michael Armstrong.

Unfortunately for her, as she climbed the steps towards the front door, she would find her friend missing. Normally, at this time of night, she could find them sitting on the steps of their home, sketching whatever ends up wandering through the night. Tonight instead, all she found was Kenneth's personal Undead, Arthur, cleaning up the empty cabin. As she approached, Arthur would look up slowly before shaking his head and shrugging his shoulders before returning to the task at hand.

Despite this setback, Josephine would type out another text to her dear friend before waving to Arthur and doing an about face to walk off.

~Hey Ken Ken, I stopped by your cabin on the way to the lake but found you weren't home. I'm going to assume you went out and lost track of time. If or when you get back tonight, let me know. We need to talk.~

As Josephine walked the path towards the lake, she would feel the shadows shudder beside her as a familiar presence appeared beside her and matched her stride. She gave Kenneth a quick glance, immediately placing the frost covering their clothes and the snow dusted throughout their hair.

"Aww, I'm sorry, did I interrupt your trip to the tundra? I'll try to keep it quick so you can go back." Josephine would tease her friend as she reached out to brush some of the snow away.

"If you must know, I decided to stop by the arctic to see some penguins, and I would really like to get back to them. They’re almost ready to accept me into their pack." Kenneth would respond back in kind, their voice rough as if it hadn't been used in a few days. "Anyway, what's this about? Did something happen?"

As Kenneth spoke, they would take note of the state of Josephine’s eyes, seeing the telltale signs of her crying. Silently, they would reach into the shadows around them before retrieving an ice cream bar from his stash for her, to help her feel better.

In response, Josephine would pass her phone over to Kenneth in exchange for the ice cream bar, with her phone screen open to the message she sent out on the way over. She took the time when Ken was reading to begin snacking on the sweet treat.

As she ate her treat, Josephine would once again look over at Kenneth. It was moments like these that reminded her why she loved them so much. If it were anyone else, they might have made a big deal out of it or even not noticed that she had been crying. But Kenneth always seemed to notice and offer silent support until she needed or wanted to talk.

"Oh, you're working on Argo again? I can't say I'm surprised, but what decided it?" Kenneth had previously been Josephine's partner in crime when it came to working on Argo stuff, so they immediately recognized what this meant. After reading through the message once more, they opened up the member list of the group chat to look over who was recruited.

"I don't know, Ken. Something finally clicked for me tonight. But you and I both know it was going to happen sooner or later." Josephine would briefly pause in her speech, her tone full of certainty and emotion. "Despite everything, this place just ain’t right for us, and it's not right for a lot of people."

Kenneth would remain silent in response, thinking through their own feelings. She was right; despite how much they both tried to make it work, as they grew older and older, it became more and more obvious that they were mismatched.

"What're your thoughts on the recruits? Anyone missing?" Josephine would take her phone back after Kenneth was done reading.

"I think it wouldn't hurt to include a few more people, reach out, and see if anyone from Jupiter wants in. I'm sure someone from there feels the same as we do." Kenneth hadn't spent as much time over at Camp Jupiter as others, but there were likely to be people like them. "Aside from that, you have a decent split of gods, which should make construction and planning easier. Let's just hope they all show up."

And with that message, the two would continue on towards the lake, discussing the pros and cons of the different people on the list as well as possible locations to set up shop.

Alright, everyone. I think I feel moderately good about this chapter. I didn't really plan to update this so soon, but this sort of mini-introduction arc should hopefully lay the groundwork for more stories in the future. As always, let me know your thoughts, and thanks for reading. Next time, it will probably be the meeting or the aftermath of the meeting. Maybe a whole new perspective. Who knows? Not me.

[baygreys]

Time zones in australia

#Time zones in australia plus

here in Brisbane and go back to watching the news.įinally, it is worth mentioning that there is a short period of time after Australian Summer Time begins, which is usually the first week in October, and the UK Winter Time starts, which is usually last week in October, when the above chart will not work. After a quick calculation requiring both hands you realise it’s 6 a.m.

#Time zones in australia plus

By cross referencing “Brisbane” and “During Summer UK” you can see that the time difference is plus nine hours. But before you do, you refer to my chart. The news comes on and you’re not really interested. I answer the phone my end and I shout “What are you doing ringing me at six o’clock in the morning!”Įxample 2: Its summer in England and its nine o’clock in the evening. There are two ways of telling the time in Australia.Įxample 1: Its summer in England and its nine o’clock in the evening. So now, before your very eyes, I will create the time zone conversion chart to end all time zone conversion charts, so that anyone living in the UK, whether it be during winter or summer, can tell at a glance what time it is here in Australia, anywhere in the country.īob’s Definitive Guide to the Time Differences Between the UK and Australia for Both Winter and Summer. By the way, I discovered a very useful and easy to remember saying that would have saved me all that hassle I had remembering whether the clocks go forward or back. The UK only has one time zone but, like parts of Australia, they do have summer/winter times. So as you can see, during the summer there are five (or 7, see disclaimer) different times in use in Australia. Sydney, Canberra, Melbourne and Hobart: 1 p.m.Now, when it is 12 noon in Brisbane, the time in the other major cities during Australian summer are as follows: Sydney, Canberra, Melbourne and Hobart: 12 noon (the same).So when it is 12 noon in Brisbane, the time in the other major cities during Australian winter are as follows: This actually simplifies things because Brisbane doesn’t change its clocks for DST, so it’s time is a “constant” throughout the year. But this extends to six or seven if you include a couple of unofficial time zones somewhere around the Western Australia and South Australian borders.Įach of the official time zones has a handy little three letter abbreviation but that’s not important right now, we wouldn’t want this to get confusing, would we?Īs I am in Brisbane, let’s use Brisbane as a base. So, now that I have ensured your fullest confidence in me, here’s my quick and easy explanation of Australia’s time zones.Īustralia has three time zones, although some sources suggest there are four and during the summer, when some states use Daylight Saving Time (DST), there are five different times throughout Australia. Also, when I lived in England, whenever there was a winter/summer time change, I could never work out if I needed to put the clocks forward or back. Today I will attempt to simplify the time differences between England and Australia, which is a bit of a laugh because I hardly understand the time zones of Australia when looked at in isolation. With the huge time differences between the major English speaking nations, staying in touch isn’t easy. “What time is it in Australia?” – I’m so glad you asked!Īnybody considering coming here to live in Australia will probably be leaving friends and family behind somewhere. Life in Australia – Moving to Australia – By BobinOz ≡ Menu

[losingitinjersey]

I can’t very well declare to be “back” without making blogging a priority again, can I?  So here I am for better or for worse with zero idea what my blog voice is anymore.  Please excuse this all over the map post while I remember how to do this again.  

A couple questions from my last post I wanted to address at large:

1) @lizloveslifexo “I believe you owe us a story about buying the house :)”

Yes!  Here’s the post from back in April right after our offer was accepted where I shared all the feelings!

2) @stackofpaperbacks “why did I think you were moving to PA instead of NJ or did I miss that post?”

You’re totally right!  We were absolutely planning on moving to PA since Kevin’s residency is in Philly but the offer that was accepted (after seven previous attempts in three months) happened to be in NJ.  Where we now live is about a 30 minute drive into Center City (which is apparently what the downtown section of Philadelphia is called) so while not super conveniently located, it’s definitely doable.  (She says not having to drive anywhere to get to work).  

My daily routine is: 

Wake up at 6 a.m., get Erp’s lunch and Aug’s bottles packed for the day.  Wake the girls up by 7:30 a.m. if they aren’t already awake.  Drop them off at daycare by 8:30 a.m. (ideally earlier if we can swing it).  Please note that this hour and a half is pure chaos with all the power struggles, tears and sometimes super sweet moments that can only come with trying to get two children dressed and fed and out the door by a specific time.  

THEN, if I’m lucky with timing, I’ll come home, throw on a hat and my ear pods and hit the road for a 40 minute 2-mile walk where I’ll get to listen to the Sandman.  Loving it SO MUCH.  I’ve been told to read the graphic novels for yeaarrsss but I’m just not a graphic novel person so I’m glad it’s now available in audio format.  Then shower and log into work by 9 a.m.  Throughout the day I’ll do other exciting things like make breakfast and do laundry and hopefully find some corner of the house to organize from the move.  I swear, I never get tired of working from home.  It’s my favorite way to work!  

Next week I’m off work and FULLY excited to do all the home projects!  Hopefully I’ll actually get my office organized (the least important of the rooms to put together) and put up all the pictures on walls!  Also, a trip to the DMV is planned to get a NJ license and plates.  WOoooo!  ALSO, perhaps a haircut??  I haven’t had a haircut since January 2020 (and before that it was two years since my last cut).  This was a few weeks after I had Erp, my first time entering out into the world again and I was actually dedicated to keeping up a trim schedule.  Then the pandemic shut everything down :)  So here we are.  We’ll see what happens!  

The fourth picture is giving me such rockstar vibes.  Can’t wait until Erp is a famous musician so she can use it as her album cover :)

[positivexcellence]

Shopping: ‘Walker’ Star Jared Padalecki Can’t Live Without These Wellness and Travel Essentials

“I started using Mantra during the pandemic,” Austin-based Padalecki tells The Hollywood Reporter. Introduced to the brand through friends of his wife, Genevieve Padalecki (with whom he has co-starred in Supernatural and Walker; the couple have three children), he says he tried the brand “on a bit of a whim … I had done 21 years on TV. I had tried every supplement on the planet, essentially. If it’s in GNC [or] in some supplement store down the block, I’ve probably tried it.”

Noting that he’s “not a physician” (“I don’t want to make medical recommendations”), Padalecki continues: “I’ve invested in several companies, but this was the first one that I wanted to get in front of publicly. I believe in this. I am certain that I will use our products every day until the day I die.”

“We focus really hard on making the product as clean and as organic as possible. I feel comfortable giving any of the products to my kids, you know. And I think a lot of companies out there, in my opinion, just throw in a lot of stuff, thinking, ‘One of these [ingredients] will work.’ We don’t do that,” he says.

“At this point in my life, I’ll be 40 next year, and my life changed a lot, having kids … I no longer want to be the guy who lifts the most weights at the gym or the guy who’s like, ‘Let’s go get shredded.’ That doesn’t interest me,” adds the San Antonio-bred star. “I want to feel good. I want to wake up in the morning and be able to wake my kids up for school and feel energy and feel rested and relaxed and hydrated.”

Mantra Labs’ philanthropic business model also drew Padalecki in as an investor. The actor has opened up in the past about battling depression, and in 2015 launched his “Always Keep Fighting” fundraising campaign to support the nonprofit organization, To Write Love On Her Arms.

“I’ve literally spent 21 years trying everything on the market and this speaks to me. And Mantra since day one has been donating a portion of every sale to mental health charities, it just spoke to me both physically and more importantly, mentally, I felt good using the product,” he explains. “It’s really important we do good for ourselves and we do good for those we’ll never meet.”

Here, the 39-year-old actor shares more about what attracted him to take on the role as Cordell Walker, how he incorporates Mantra Labs into his filming routine, how he got his first big break in Hollywood and the essentials — from smart toothbrushes and watches to boots — that he can’t live without when he’s traveling for work.

As for Walker, the second season airs Oct. 28 live on the CW and can be streamed free online the following day on the network’s website. The show can be live-streamed on DirecTV Stream (formerly AT&T TV),  Hulu + Live TV and YouTube TV, while the first season is available on HBO Max.

Walk us through Mantra Labs’ products and how you use them in your daily routine.

Rise you take in the morning. You mix with water. It has no caffeine. Rest you take at night and then Go you take as needed. There are days I take zero Gos and days I take three. [One] Friday night we were filming until like 2 a.m. I was riding a horse. I was exhausted. And I don’t want to just try and chug a coffee or Red Bull. So I’ll take a Go. If I’m doing a big, long workout, like an hour or two bike ride or jog or hike or something, I’ll take a Go. So each one is formulated for its specific purpose.

How did you end up moving to LA and pursuing acting?

I was enrolled at University of Texas Austin. We call it just UT. That was in 2000 and I had my books, I had my housing assignments, I had all my classes and then I went to L.A. — like I’m going to give it a shot. And I got Gilmore Girls. I got like a four-episode run on Gilmore Girls. I was making like a thousand dollars every two weeks and I was like, “I’m rich.” And then Gilmore Girls ended up kind of continuing my contract for another five years. Then the Supernatural happened.

What drew you to Walker, to that role and wanting to do that character?

I grew up in Texas and I feel like Walker, Texas Ranger, the Chuck Norris version, had been on [TV] a lot. And obviously, we find ourselves in a very different situation and I want it to find a storyline that I could work from home in Austin about a law enforcement agent who ideally for me, the audience will never know if he’s liberal or conservative, Democratic or Republican. This is not a show about roundhouse kicks. This is a show about a well-rounded family man. We tried to go with a more universal storyline. This is just somebody trying to be the best version of themselves they can and falling short, but, but striving to learn … This is more about like, “Hey, this guy is doing the best he can.”

Since you travel frequently for work, what are some of your essentials?

These are things I legitimately own and travel with. I’ve traveled a lot. I filmed Supernatural in Vancouver for 15 and a half years and we would do like 18 conventions a year. So I’ve done my fair share of traveling out of a backpack.

Right now I have a Tumi backpack that I travel with. I have so much in my backpack. I have a computer and an iPad and scripts. I’m a big backpack guy. People see me and they’re like, “Hey, what college are you going to?” And I’m like, “I ain’t going to college. This is just the way I travel.” It’s just easier to put two straps on and walk than to try and do the whole wheeling of a backpack through an airport or something.

MyCharge Portable Charger

First thing, there’s a company called My Charge. Inevitably I find myself with like five percent battery and other than when I go to bed at night in a hotel room I’m not near a plug. You can get it on Amazon. I’ve probably bought 30 or 40 [of them] in my lifetime. I’ve probably given away 20 of them. I’ll see people whose phones are dying and I’ll be like, ‘Take this.’ It’s a travel battery, but it comes with the plugs. So you can plug it directly into the wall. You don’t have to have a separate plug and a separate cord to charge it and then have a separate plug to charge your phone. There are some that charge your iPod and your iPhone and your computer or whatever. There’s one in my Tumi backpack at all times, fully charged.

Garmin Fenix GPS Smart Watch

I use a Garmin Fenix watch. I’m a big watch collector. I love mechanical watches. But when I travel I use a Garmin Fenix because it has heart rate and also my favorite thing to do when I get to a new city is to just walk around. And so with a Garmin you can GPS track yourself; you can see how many miles you did, your average speed, your heart rate.

And it links into your phone or your computer and you can see what route you did. So you can just put in headphones, go for a two-hour walk around Chicago or New York or whatever. And then you can go like, man, you know, about an hour into it I passed up a really cool little old town spot. Like where was that? When you log into your phone or your computer, you can go like, Oh, that was right there. And you can see where it is, go back if you want. I’ve done marathons and I wear the same watch in my marathons. But that’s a great watch for travel. And also it’ll automatically log in to wherever you are. So it’ll change time zone by itself.

Quip Toothbrush

Obviously, when you’re traveling, you need a toothbrush and toothpaste and I use Quip. It’s a great little electric toothbrush and you sign up for an account and they send you new toothbrush heads. I have one in my backpack right now. They send you new toothpaste and toothbrush heads like once a month

Dermalogica Lotion

For skincare, I just use Dermalogica lotion. That’s basically my entire skincare routine. After I shower, I’ll just put lotion on and I’ve got a big forehead, you know, I’m a big Polish dude and I get a lot of wrinkles and I’m always in the sun; I’m a sun baby. I love being outside and playing with the kids, getting in the pool, going for a bike ride.

My most common travel shoes are by Blundstone. I found out about them because when I started my character on Supernatural, [he] started wearing them in season two or three. They are waterproof and they slip on and off. So if you’re going through the airport, you don’t have to sit there and unlace your shoes, you just kick them off and pull them back on.

Willy T-Shirts

There’s a brand called Willy. (Padalecki says he and his wife are friends with Willy co-founder Charles Nelson, the husband of Sprinkles co-founder Candace Nelson.) I wear their shirts all the time. I wear them to dinner. I wear them to work out. I wear them to sleep. They’re just super cozy, wonderful workout shirts. And also in Texas, when it gets to be like a hundred degrees outside and humid, they breathe. I usually have a rolled-up Willy shirt in my backpack.

hollywoodreporter

[blogevaawrites]

BIG DEAL

Pairing: Chris Evans x Reader

Warnings: smut, cheating, angst

Summary: After being away of you boyfriend for three weeks, you come to Chris’s  house after he had thrown a party where you met a girl you haven’t see ever. The beginning of the relationship was unconventional so you couldn’t do anything else but suspect.

Part 1  Part 2  Part 3 Part 4 Part 5 Part 6

There’s something I do when I don’t know how to deal with a situation.

I clean my closet.

I organize it; I try everything on, throw out pieces I don’t wear anymore, or I don’t like. I like to spend time doing this just because I don’t have to think in anything else.

“He’s calling again, you’re not picking up, are you?” Linda asked from the other side of the room. I was surrounded by my clothes and shoes and things, and she was working in her laptop.

“No.” I answered simply and kept doing my thing.

“Isn’t better if you pick up and tell him to stop? This is his tenth call today, and I don’t want to know about texts. This is not right.”

“I’m not ready to think about this.” I muttered. I didn’t realize she got up from the bed and walked to me.

“It’s fine, everything is going to be fine” she said hugging me. Her touch brought tears out of my eyes, but her kindness made me feel safe.

Linda moved to NY a few months before I did, and I could be more blessed because she moved to the next door’s apartment. She has been there since then; our friendship was the kind of you find just a couple times in a lifetime.

“Don’t worry I will be right here. We can clean your closet as many times as you need.”

It’s been three days since I left his house, and my phone has been ringing since then.

I spent my first day watching true-crime documentaries, eating ice cream and drinking wine. The second day I started donating the clothes I wasn’t wearing anymore. And today, I have cleaned the closet three times. Linda enjoyed the first two days, but she hated to organize anything, so she killed time working from my bed.

“That one is pretty sexy. Why don’t we go out to dinner and have a few drinks tonight? Lucy and Vanessa have been calling too.” She spoke.

I thought about it for a few minutes, and I was actually feeling sick of being here.

“Yeah! Why not? I need more alcohol” I joked.

 The night went pretty fun, and I kind of felt better and ready to face everything, his apologies, his face and his voice. Around three a.m I was ready to go back home and sleep my hangover. “Are you sure you don’t need me there? Linda asked when I told her I was leaving, she was having a good time and I didn’t want to spoil her fun. “Yeah! Don’t worry, I’m sick of being depressed, I’m ready to be me again.” She smiled at me and hugged me before I left.

The uber ride was fast, no traffic nor people in the street this made my way home calm, and the driver was quite funny. He waited for me to get in the building and left, leaving alone again. The lobby’s lights were automatic, but they weren’t working very well, I knew the way to my door, so I didn’t bother turning my phone’s flashlight on. Going up stairs, I tried to take off my high heels, but something made me get alarmed. A dark big shadow at the top of the stairs. My heart stopped for a second.

“Holy crap! What are you doing here? Why are you sitting there? You scared the shit out of me, asshole!” I yelled when the light of the hallway turned on and all of the sudden the silhouette of a big man appeared at the top the stairs. My heart started to beat in this normal pace when I recognized his face.  

“I’m sorry that wasn’t my intention. You weren’t picking the phone. I was worry about you.” His hands went up in a signal of inoffensive. His voice was hoarse and his eyes a little bit swollen and red. I could say he had been crying.

“I’m fine, you can go.” I said, walking straightly to my apartment’s door. I looked for my keys in my bag as faster as I could.  

“Can we talk?” he moved to stay behind me while I opened the door. He didn’t get too close to me and I felt grateful for that.

“I don’t want to hear anything, and right now the only thing I want is to sleep.” I got in the apartment and closed the door rapidly. With my forehead rested against the closed door and my hands still on the handle, I listened to him to beg. I missed him, his voice, his smell, his fucking presence made me shake my legs.

“Please, just give me five minutes. I love you and I can’t let you think I don’t. I know I fucked everything up but…” I opened the door before he could finish it. He looked quite surprised when a move away to let him pass.

He didn’t say anything, walked in and moved around awkwardly. I told him to sit with my head. He took a sit on the couch and I didn’t move from the door, with my back resting it in. His eyes stared me few a few minutes, making me feel uncomfortable, defenseless.

“You look beautiful.” He said quietly.

“You have five minutes.” The alcohol in my body brought rudeness out of my mouth. I was tired, kind of drunk and still hurt by him so couldn’t let him get any closer in any dimension.

“I’m sorry.” He said before his hands rubbed his face roughly. “I went to NY to tell you everything. I really did, I felt horrible, and I didn’t want to hurt you, but I knew I had to tell you. Carly thought it too. You know them, there’s no place for any secrete between them. When I arrived in here, saw your face and I felt your arms around me I chickened out. I realize that I couldn’t live without you; for the first time in my life, I was really scared to lose somebody. And that was a feeling I wasn’t used to.” His statements made my heart ache. I wished anything of this had happened.

“So, you lied? Because you loved me.” I knew he wasn’t a perfect boyfriend in the past but that was a shitty excuse.

“I didn’t know how to tell you. When Carly called that night, she heard you in the back then she assumed that you forgave me, and I didn’t deny it. I felt awful but I got into that lie so quickly, I didn’t know what to do.” I sat on ankles, sliding down the wall. I hid my face with my hands trying to avoid him to see me cry.

“I wasn’t joking, honey. You are the love of my life and I didn’t want to lose you. That scare got so real that I couldn’t face it. I’m sorry, I really am. With you everything is different, and I didn’t realize it until that. The fear of losing you got in my skin and it never left.” I didn’t feel him to come closer to me until I felt his hands in mine. As soon as I felt it, I got up and moved away from him. I knew I could fall for him quickly.

“If you have done, you should leave.” I could say walking to the fridge to pour water in glass. My throat was dry.

He looked at me for a while, then took a deep and loud breath and moved to the door.

I saw him walk to the door, to leave the apartment, to leave me. I did understand the scare of losing someone, I had lost a few people in my life, but seeing him leaving it was different, I was losing him, and everything was his fault. That didn’t feel fair.

 “Why you did this to me?” The words left my mouth before I could think about it. He turned around to look at me, but I hadn’t finished “Why didn’t you break up with me if you wanted to fuck somebody else? Why were you seeing Ashley? Why did you play along with her game after the kiss?” my voice got louder at every question. I wasn’t a person who yelled easily but I couldn’t help it.

“Baby, I’m a dickhead, I screw up every relationship I’ve ever had. I don’t know why. I promised I went out with her with any side intention, when she kissed me, I felt that fear again. And at the party, I swear I didn’t invite her, I wanted to keep her away from you, I wanted to keep everything what I did away from us.”

“Yeah! That’s why you took her panties.” I said ironically. “What did you want me to do? Kicked her out of the house, making a scene?” He saw my face burning in anger and he continued. “Don’t worry, sweetheart. I hate myself enough for both of us.” Said that he took his way again. I didn’t hate him. I loved him. I was needed for him.

I moved quickly to get him; I could reach him by the arm.

As soon as he turned around to look at me, I jumped on his mouth. He didn’t take any longer to embrace his arms around me, pushing my face more against his, as if that was even possible.

We walked clumsily to the nearest wall; he squeezed my butt before holding me up. His hands flew through my tights, caressing them and reached my wet panties. I moaned when I felt his fingers rubbing me. “I need you.” He whispered in my ear. His fingers went to undo his pants and I could get out of his arms.

I saw panic in his face for a couple of seconds. But it disappeared when he saw me got into my knees. I took his hard member in my hands to stroke it a few times before get it into my mouth. He rested his forehead in the wall, and shut his eyes, leaving me caged by his body.

His breathing changed when he opened his eyes and watched my mouth around the head of his sensitive cock. Clenched jaw and hands making fist, he moaned loudly as he was being relieved of great amount of pressure.

My lips wrapped around his cock, taking as much as my throat could, and my hand gripped the rest. I wasn’t thinking, I didn’t want to think. I was tired and sick of the anxiety that this situation was giving me.

I knew this wasn’t a good idea. I wasn’t proud but I wanted it.

“I love your fucking mouth.” his voice brought my back from my thoughts. I started to suck a little bit harder as he was getting bigger. His hips also started to thrust him into my mouth, making me gag at one particularly push. “Shit! Sorry!” he said, taking my face in his hands and making me get up from my knees. “I don’t want to cum in your mouth.” he responded to my unanswered question. We kissed as his hands tried to get rid of my dress, and mine were fighting with his shirt.

Just in my panties, he pickup me up and put me on the hall’s table. Sucking my nipples and rubbing my breast and ass, he ripped my panties and his dick stormed in me.

I yelled in surprise; I was actually more than ready to take him.

“I loved that ones.” I murmured pretending to be sadly for my lingerie.

“I will make it worth.” He said with smile on his face before taking my calves over his shoulders. His thrusts were deep, rough, and needed, I tired to hold on to the table, but his movements got fiercely, and I could feel my orgasm coming.

The table wasn’t meant to this kind of activities. We realized it very late.

“Holy crap!” he said when he saw the table fall, holding me better in his arms. Everything I could do was laugh. He intended to let me go but crossed my arms behind his neck.

“No! Take me to bed!” I whispered in his ear. He smiled before kissing me.

He laid down on the bed with me over him. “Ride me, baby.” he said holding me from my hips.

I started to move up and down on his cock, rolling my hips. I saw he shut his eyes, a signal he was close, so I started to ride hard on him. His fingers were marking my hips as he pushed me up and down savagely. I groaned at the almost painful pleasure.

I felt his body getting tense as he filled me up with his cum.

“God! I love you!” he yelled.

Something woke up inside me, suddenly I felt dirty and ashamed. I hid my breast with my arms as I stood up from bed. His cum dripping on my inner thigh, made me just feel worst.

He didn’t realize, he was still dazed. He took my arm when he realized that I wasn’t coming back to bed. “Come back, I’m still hard.” He muttered with his eyes closed. I let him to guide my body, he made me lay down next to him and cuddle.

“These couple days have been awful; I’ve never felt that bad.” His lips were right next to neck and made me get goosebumps.” I was so scared of not seeing you again.” He said pecking my neck. He turned my hips a little, just enough to let himself into me one more time. I was feeling guilty, I was using him. I wasn’t forgiving him, but he thought I was.

I didn’t want a confrontation; I couldn’t handle one.

His hand held my face to keep kissing my mouth, and his other one at my hip, holding me steady. “Your so good for me.” he said between kisses. His hand went from my hip to my clit. He worked himself in deeper and rubbed me just in the right way.    

My body was so tensed and my brain so away from the reality that I didn’t noticed he fell sleep.

I wanted to have sex with him, I enjoyed. I shouldn’t feel bad for him, he cheated on me and lied, but I wasn’t like that.

I woke up with his snoring in my ear. I got out of his embrace needy for water, the hangover was taking my body. I saw my clothes and his’s all over the floor and the broken table. I didn’t get to do the walk of shame, it was my apartment, I was living in the shame.

“Good morning, sweetheart.” His voice resounded throughout the entire place.

“Okay! You are really thirsty” he said when I drank the water quickly. I didn’t answer, I didn’t look at him. The situation was awkward, and he noticed it.

“What’s going on?” he asked from behind. I ignored him again. “Hey! Are you okay?” he shouted and turned me over to face me.

“Yes, I’m just still drunk.” I said softly. I tired my best to look unbothered.

“Can we talk?” he asked.    

“Not right now. I have things to do.” I started to pick everything up. “I think you should leave; I really have things to do.” I avoided his eyes. I get repetitive when I feel nervous. He knew it.

“Well, I think you’re acting like a child. What happened last night?” his voice wasn’t loud, but it was hard.

I just could shrug, I felt ashamed, and he was mad.

“Talk to me! Damn! Don’t shut up. You always do that. I fucked everything up, I know. But you kissed me last night, you started everything so, right now please talk! Tell me what is happening!” now he was yelling, he looked mad and kind of sad, the guilt just spread across my body.

“What you want me to say, Chris? I wasn’t thinking properly.” I said, looking how he was getting dress himself.

“So, wasn’t mean a shit for you?” I felt like our roles were reversed. Now he was angry, and I was the one giving the explanations.

“I don’t want to hurt your feelings.” I could say.

“Yes, you do, and to be honest, I understand. I deserved it, but I don’t…” he was wrong, I knew I hurt him but that wasn’t my intention, I loved him, and he knew it.

“I don’t want to hurt you. I’m not like you.” My voice wasn’t soft anymore. We were in the same level, he wanted me to feel guilty, so I was doing the same. I continued “Sorry, but I’m not going to apologize, I didn’t want to hurt you. I felt bad and I wanted to have sex with you, you could have said no, and you didn’t do it. But I didn’t say anything to make you think that I forgave you.” His eyes goy darker with my words. he stared me for a few seconds.

“I couldn’t have said no, you could have given me a glass full of worms and I would have taken it.” I felt he was playing the victim; I could stand it.

“I give you a relationship and you pissed on it.” I said crudely.

The room got in a deep silence and filled with tension and resentment.

“You were right, we shouldn’t talk right now.” He spoke after a couple minutes, he took his jacket and got ready to leave. The scare of losing him went back to my head, but I knew it was the best and this time I stood up to it.

“I don’t want to see you again.” I said when he got closer the door. He looked at me incredulous, but he didn’t interrupt.

“I’m still mad and hurt, so I’m not forgiving you soon. But that doesn’t matter because we can’t be together, I don’t trust you and my insecurity in our relationship will freak you out at some point and it will be worst, for both of us.” I didn’t want to cry but I failed, at least he was weepy too.

I thought he was going to response, but he didn’t, he left my apartment without hesitation, slamming the door.

Tag list: @breezykpop  @calwitch @firoozehmoon 

[honestlyfrance]

SAMBUCKY BOOKMARKS

it’s fic yeah friday over at @fuckyeahsambucky​​​ so i wanna do a lil something something for the fandom :) check out my #fic rec tag for more! 

enjoy the more than 50 fics listed here :) be careful of the tags!

I Am Trying to Break Your Heart by Lunar_Pull

Today is the day that Steve received an invitation to the love of his life’s wedding.

Philopatry by Areiton

"I want to be safe," he says. "But I'm not." "Then why come here? Why put me at risk?" Something flickers in his eyes, little boy lost and utterly cold, and it makes Sam want to give the dude a hug and also pull his sidearm. "I have no reason to hurt you," Winter says. "I don't want to hurt you," Bucky adds, earnestly.

farmhouse by Tazmaster

"You know, I think I'd want a farmhouse."

"A what?" Sam turns to look at him, slightly annoyed. This was the first thing Bucky has said in the past hour and a half they've been cramped in this god forsaken car. He had a knack for impulsively voicing his dumb thoughts at the worst times, but whenever you wanted to know what was actually going on in that head of his, he'd never say.

They were staking out the front gate of a large mansion, very much not a farmhouse. It was mind numbingly boring, being stuck in a beetle with absolutely nothing else to do than stare at the gaudy gates of some rich asshole.

"A farmhouse," Bucky repeats nonchalantly, "If we ever get out of this business, or you know, live long enough to retire maybe--- I want a farmhouse. With a lot of animals."

---

Bucky keeps talking about a farmhouse and it drives Sam crazy, that is until he finally asks why.

Employee Discount by bopeep for queenmab_scherzo

Sam Wilson doesn't love working in a store that makes him wear vanity-sized polos and breathe in clouds of men's cologne like the worst kind of GQ aromatherapy, but the view from his cash register across the mall to the Hot Topic and the sullen Dark Prince of Wallet Chains he loves to hate may just beat the minimum wage blues.

In warm water, swimming down by targaryen_melodrama

“Why are you hiding?””Tired.”Bucky raises an eyebrow. “So you decided to swim.”“So I decided to be alone.”Bucky’s quiet for a moment. “I can go, if you want.”It’s the last thing Sam wants.

I figured out what the slashes mean by Teaismycoffee

Sam, Steve and Bucky are all living together in a safe house. Bucky and Sam discover fan fiction written about them. Steve doesn't approve. Sam and Bucky are really into secretly reading fan fiction together, or maybe it isn't the fan fiction part they are really into.

Chicken Soup for the Soul by bioloyg

“S’not my bed time,” Sam says as he buries his face in Bucky’s upper arm. Bucky laughs. “Tough. You’re sick.” Sam lets out a loan groan and says, “But my bed is cold. I was so warm, why’d you move me?” “Because your neck would’ve hated you if I didn’t.” He tries not to be so amused by how fussy Sam is when he’s both sick and half-asleep. It’s cute. ~ A fic wherein Bucky takes care of a sick Sam.

two nights in L.A. by CapnWinghead

Bucky kindly volunteered Sam to be a groomsman for Scott’s upcoming wedding. Of course, that meant Sam and Bucky had to go to the bachelor party.

at the end of the war (what's mine is yours) by notcaycepollard

They don't talk about it: that's how it works.

I'd Like That by honestlydarkprincess

Sam has been up for over 24 hours and has been dreaming about his Coffee Caramel Fudge non-dairy ice cream since about the 18-hour mark. When he gets to the store, there's only one carton of it left and, unfortunately for the guy innocently holding said carton, Sam's not leaving without it.

Or, the one where Sam is sleep deprived, yells at a cute guy, and gets both ice cream and a phone number out of it.

Ready, Set, Date! by bioloyg

Bucky wants to sleep, Natasha wants to find him a date for Steve's wedding (so he'll leave her alone), and Sam is the best thing about this whole speed dating disaster. But, Sam's not in the speed date rotations - he's at a different table weathering through dates just like Bucky is. ~ "Three dates in, Bucky decides he has made one of the worst decisions in all of his life by coming here. His first date had been an attractive enough man by the name of Greg. He introduces himself as “The Big G,” to which Sam laughs at in the middle of introducing himself to his own date. Greg likes to talk about cars a lot, which is fine. Bucky also likes cars. The only problem is that Greg’s love for cars borders on… erotic."

We'll rise up free and easy by Sarsaparilla, woofgender

Steve and Natasha are away on a mission when Sam receives intel about the Winter Soldier’s location. When he follows the lead, Sam finds something unexpected—but despite his initial impression, it’s certainly not all bad. (Post-CATWS, not AOU- or CACW-compliant.)

__________ "'Jesus Christ,' Sam said, 'Are you planning on fighting an entire army?'

Barnes looked up from examining the sights of a sniper rifle. '...no,' he said, a little guiltily, and adjusted one of the--five? Six? guns he’d already strapped to himself."

love is in the air (i smell coffee) by Flora_K, hermionesmydawg

Sam Wilson - graduate student, part-time barista, part-time salesman, and full-time father - doesn't have time to sleep, much less date. At least, that's what he tells himself.

Up at Night by bioloyg for lunaaltare

With Halloween nearing, Sam is feeling more in the mood for a scary movie than usual. He'd never watch one on his own though, so he invites his roommate to pick one out and join in on movie night. or Prompt fill for Samtember ~ "It’s quiet for a while after that. Like always, the two of them start on opposite sides of the queen sized bed with at least a foot of space between them. And, like always, they drift closer to one another as time passes, though whether it’s habitual or instinctual Sam would never dare delve into."

flowers in darkness, the moon above the sea by 27dis

Sam enjoyed his job, really.

But, not when a certain person came in.

A quick detour and a sudden arrival by iwillnotbecaged for heuradys

He found Wilson shivering in the snow, left for dead. Sloppy.

You couldn’t trust the elements to do your job for you. They were rarely so obliging.

A mission gone awry, unexpected help, and close quarters makes for an interesting couple of days.

Don't lock the door on me by TuskFM

Sam’s desperately trying to sleep when he gets a visit from the Winter Soldier at three a.m., bleeding and asking for help. Sam’s not the kind of guy who let someone bleed out on his front door, even if the said someone threw him off an helicarrier and stole his wheel.

and i run, further than before by hermionesmydawg

"What do they call you?" Bucky carefully pulls out an equal amount of caramel and cheese kernels of popcorn and pops them into his mouth. "Birdman?"

"No."

"Captain Canary?"

"Hell no."

"The Winged Avenger?"

"Falcon, dammit, and I am not an Avenger," Sam snaps, and now he's kinda pissed because yes, it's a bird name. He didn't sign up for this kind of ridicule from an amnesiac assassin.

***

Basically, the 5 times Sam actually found Bucky and the 1 time he tried to hide from him. Don't tell Steve.

Exquisite Flavor by enchantedlightningwrites for honestlyfrance

W&M's Grand Corner's growing to be one of the popular restaurants in New York, where Sam Wilson works as a chef for his sister. A wedding's in a few weeks and he has no idea on what to do about it. Notorious for his picky taste and blunt reviews, Bucky 'Winter Wolf' Barnes pays a visit. Little did he know, food could really win one's heart and lands on his stomach.

He's a Beta, You Hear That? by 27dis

Reasons why Sam didn’t realize Bucky was courting him this entire time: 1. He is a beta 2. He is oblivious 3. He thought Bucky is way out of his league 4. He is a beta for fuck’s sake

See? It’s hardly his fault for not noticing it. Why was Bucky flirting with him anyw—

Oh. Oh.

Or; Bucky swore flirting with someone was never this hard before.

stay where we belong by glittercake

He doesn't know what the hell he's doing when he turns around and shouts, "Yo! You know what—" and Barnes turns on his heel in a flash, "It's getting late, man. Looks like rain."

Sam motions to the grey sky above, and Barnes follows his eyes beyond the hanging Willow branches. "Yeah? What are you saying?"

He's got that terribly smug look on his face, the one Sam can't stand but kind of misses when it's not irritating him. But mostly, he can't stand it, "Nothing! Forget about it!"

Arms Spread Out Wide, Turn Falling Into Flight by irisesandlilies

It was easy, nothing has ever been easy for Bucky. Except this, and that terrifies him.

Years in the making by glittercake

Bucky and Sam meet as two young soldiers, but the time is never quite right to make it anything more. Until it eventually is.

or

Sam refuses to let himself fall in love while he's deployed. Bucky pines endlessly for years about the prettiest bird he’s ever seen. Sam’s no better.

If At First You Don't Succeed by SonnyD

Bucky finally gains the courage to tell Sam about his feelings. He comes up with a list of methods to woo him that were bound to succeed. He didn't account for each and every one of them failing in unexpected ways. The five times that Bucky attempts to woo Sam and the one time that Sam returns the favour.

if i could take us back, if i could just do that... by safelikespringtime

Bucky laughed, cheeks flushing red, “I’m glad you didn't. Don't know what I’d do without my wingman.” Sam groaned, poking Bucky’s side, “That was awful.” Bucky laughed. “You couldn’t survive without me. We both know it.”

How right he was.

***

Sam dies. Bucky mourns.

Strawberries and Cigarettes always taste like you by winterscaptsam

There’s a sweet agonizing simplicity in leaving behind your safe haven, like the thrill of adrenaline, reaching the top of Everest, allowed to admire its beautiful icy view but with the everlasting fear of not making it back down. Maybe that's why it was a natural instinct for Bucky to reach out for the closest thing that felt like home, slowly then all at once falling for the sweet warmth of mahogany eyes, what soon became his safe haven.

Baked With Love by Siancore

Bucky Barnes’ family owns a bakery in a small town. High school has long been over, and Bucky is dying to move to the city to pursue a musical career with his band. And his future looks promising, if he can just persuade his father to let him leave his job behind at their struggling family bakery.

It is no secret that Bucky used to love baking with his father, but things change. He just can’t fathom wasting his life away watching rising dough and hot ovens. With his mind made up to leave, Bucky convinces his father to advertise for a replacement. While interviewing candidates to fill the position he has vacated, Bucky meets Sam Wilson: An easy-going guy who is as eager about baking as Bucky is about leaving. They bond over baking and become close. Love looks like it is ready to bloom between them if Bucky, in his haste to escape, does not ruin it.

Beneath this Crown by winterscaptsam

Sam traces his fingers from James’ hairline, down to his jaw, resting the pad of his thumb on James lips. He will let himself relish in this feeling. Not even the sculptors, painters or poets could carve their words and materials to accurately describe this.

“Do you think the history books will remember us?” Sam had once asked. And James’ words were made of the purest of golds, “my love, we will be legends for the children yet to come.”

Or

Sam Wilson and Bucky Barnes' love story, one a prince and the other a knight.

make my body come alive (i've got a right to hurt inside) by notcaycepollard

The body is weak. The body is hungry and soft and human. He looks at himself in the mirror, the bones of his shoulders, his cheeks hollowed out from hunger, and he thinks, gentle, you didn’t deserve this.

safe like spring time by quidhitch

“I already told you it looks good. What more is there?”

“I don’t know, man, you’re gonna live here. I just wish I knew a little bit more about how that’s sitting with you.”

Sam knows Bucky feels fine. What Sam’s probably actually after is how he feels about the fact neither of them have anywhere else to go, not with Natasha dead and Steve wrinkly. Therapists. Even the good ones, always so circular.

“I like the terrace,” Bucky offers, mostly to appease him.

Airy Laundry by AmarieMelody

Sam watches what happens when Bucky buys a clothesline.

lucky by CapnWinghead

In retrospect, it took Bucky an embarrassingly long time to realize that everyone and Scott's mom thought he and Sam were dating.

not an end, but (the start of all things) by notcaycepollard

They keep driving, for lack of anything better to do. A mission, Sam had said, and maybe that's true; maybe wherever they're headed is the way out, the way up.

So You Run On Gasoline by 343EnderSpark, ABitNotGoodieBag, OriginalCeenote

Bucky may have bitten off more than he could chew with this job, he thinks, as he ambles along the sidewalk to the cafe after leaving campus. He is running off the fumes of exhaustion and hasn’t had more than 3 hours of uninterrupted sleep in the past week. Between his students and his thesis, he knows that it’s foolish to try so hard to hang on to his barista gig, but DC isn’t a cheap place to live and Bucky can’t live with other people.

Bucky is just trying his best, despite being a human disaster.

we could jump the state lines (we only get the one life) by notcaycepollard

It starts in Paris.

“You can’t steal things just because you like them,” Sam tells Bucky, feeling innately that this is a losing battle, and Bucky cocks his head to the side, considers Sam very thoughtfully.

“Really,” he says. “I’m stealing you, aren’t I?”

we were a fire with no smoke by notcaycepollard

Sam can’t help but roll his eyes. Take the boys out of New York but they’re still Brooklyn Catholics, that’s clear enough. Bucky catches the gesture, smirks hard enough Sam can see his eye teeth. It should be dangerous but he’s beautiful, pale and charming and recklessly easy.

“You wanna come in?” Sam asks, ignoring the noise Steve makes, and Bucky’s smile gets wider.

“Yeah,” he says. Steps up close to Sam. “I do.”

Peace Begins with a Smile by Siancore

Bucky just likes the way Sam smiles.

They're Good Drones, Brent by chase_acow

When Redwing becomes infected with an alien A.I., Sam has to balance the needs of the team with his own curiosity about his new partner. Redwing isn’t the only one acting strange, he also needs to get to the bottom of Bucky’s weirdness. It takes a training exercise gone wrong that Redwing and Sam might not survive for their secrets to be exposed.

Wet Asphalt (This Is What Love Is) by ObviouslyOtter

Soft words in the dark tell us all we need to know about love. Better when they come from the person you need to hear it from most. It's crueler when you don't realize it till afterward.

Or

Sam and Bucky go out shopping for candles.

i'm gone by bi_marvel

After infiltrating a Hydra base, Sam and Bucky are sent to a safe house, and there's only one bed. Oh, golly, I wonder what will happen!

Covert Coffee & Flirtation Special by glittercake

The reporter says "—for Captain America to—"

And Bucky rolls his eyes. "Oh, here we go."

Sam looks at him then tips his head sideways, got a weird grin on his face. "Not a fan?"

"Not that. Just… the guy seems too good to be true, right? Wings and a shield? Come on."

"Uh, is that why your eyes are like glued to the screen whenever he's on?" Kate says. "Is that why you call him Captain Tight Ass?"

"He's a goddamn show-off, and you know it. Tight ass or not."

Just then Sam snorts, real loud, grabs his coffee and suffers a horribly controlled laugh on his way out the door.

The Starting Line by birdlight

A Series

Lone and Level Sands by quantum_consciousness

The almost-smile disappears off Sam’s face and he takes a step deeper into the water, and he starts unbuttoning his shirt as he wades further. One look over his shoulder and he chucks the shirt to shore, and Sam dives into the water. The ache in Bucky’s chest deepens as Sam swims. He supposes, Sam has lost a lot more, he supposes, sometimes Sam feels as lonely as he used to.

in which love doesn’t ruin us by joesnick

“Idiot,” Bucky said, so natural and deliberate that she couldn’t hear well but it was there. Relief and happiness under a small light. “Don’t do that to me again.”

“Hey, I’m here,” Sam said, before getting closer and pressing his forehead against Bucky’s. “I’m here.” They ran out of words. They didn’t need them, not at that moment. Their steadying breaths and their tenderness, saved only for each other and fed by each other, was all they needed.

Ride of Shared Melodies by enchantedlightningwrites for honestlyfrance

Two strangers, Bucky Barnes and Sam Wilson meet in an unexpected encounter in the airplane. Over the course of the ride, they discover their mutual love for music and connect.

Let's Fly Away by Unclesteeb

"If I could fly, I could go anywhere. I could do anything.”

Sam’s mom gives his shoulder a gentle pat. “You can in your own way.”

“How?”

“Sammy, all you have to do to be as free as a bird is to just do the right thing.”

Sam furrows his brow. “What does that mean?”

“Well,” Sam's mom starts. “The right thing is doing nice things for people. It's treating everyone how you would want to be treated. It's going out of your way to help people and love them, even if they're not nice to you at first or at all. People deserve love, and I know you have plenty to give.” She leans down to give his cheek a kiss. “All you have to do to find your wings and fly free is to just do what you feel is right. You have a beautiful heart, Sam. I know you'll use it the right way. Then you'll fly.”

Been one of those days (can I lean on you?) by hazel_eyed_bi

Sam and Bucky wrap up an exhausting, weeks-long mission, only to go back to their mutual pining while forced to share a bed at a crappy motel. Also, Nat knows what's up.

Find your love and fight for it by winterscaptsam

Sam learns to love again, quiet and composed. Love letters stay in between walls and stolen kisses don’t leave his apartment. It's not that it's a secret, loving Bucky the way he does, lord knows he’d scream it from the rooftops, travel all the way to space to let any living life form know it as well. But that’s the problem, he just doesn’t know how and it aches him to his core to keep Bucky like a secret, like this love is something to be ashamed of.

Or

Sam decides it's about time to come out.

Kings of Everything by glittercake

Twenty-five years after the events at a popular New York Bistro, Timothy DumDum Dugan tells the true story of infamous mobster Jimmy Buchanan and the man he gave it all up for.

arson we commit by winterscaptsam

Bucky seeks adventure, reaches out for an adrenaline rush whenever he can get it and he reckons this fellow will be the one to give it to him. All sweet smiled and dolled up figure showing off his attributes. Like he’s daring anyone to take the rush.

So, Bucky goes and gets what he wants.

“What’s your damage, doll?”

Or

Bucky is the hitman and Sam is the target.

The Boys of Summer by Siancore for avintagekiss24

Sam Wilson returns home to the small town he grew up in to complete his med school residency. He hasn’t been back for an extended amount of time since he left for college. While he only consistently kept in touch with childhood friend, Steve Rogers, he was keen to see the people he had grown up with. With the exception of Bucky Barnes. They had a falling out the summer before Sam left for college. What happened between them? Can they move past it now that they’re adults?

Sam's Plan by OhHelloFandoms123

“I have a plan,” Sam said smugly, hands on his hips. “I have a three-step plan for you to marry me.” At first, he thought he was joking. Then, he saw Sam’s genuine smile.

Bucky groaned, “there is no way in HELL that I’m marrying YOU, Wilson.”

Wreck In the West by OhHelloFandoms123 for honestlyfrance

There’s just something about leaning on his chest as the sun goes down and the smell of tea whilst into the air feels so amazing. And he was a wreck because of it, it tore him apart and put himself back together because it was so blissful, he almost couldn’t breathe at first.

OR

Gay cowboy proposal.

Belonging Season by OhHelloFandoms123

Sam Wilson and Bucky Barnes have lived their most happy, married life for 70 years. Death won’t stop them today for living an eternity.

neverending; by glittercake

Sam passes away after a long and happy life with Bucky, but Bucky never ages and life keeps introducing him to Sam's reincarnates for the next 156 years.

Lighthouse by glittercake

This guy’s trouble. Bucky knows that in his bones. It’s not bad trouble, is the problem, it’s good. Sam is so goddamn inherently good and if Bucky even touches that with a ten foot pole—fuck if he even looks at it—it’ll turn to shit.

He can’t afford another move to yet another city because his colleagues started recognizing Brock’s fist prints on his face.

But Sam is a ridiculously bright glowing light, a beacon, and Bucky goes toward it like that idiotic moth to the flame.

masterlist | ko-fi | patreon

[scribblingfangirl]

WITH LOVE, THE GHOSTS | Julie and the Phantoms - Part One

not my gif!

.•´¯`•..•´¯`•..•´¯`•..•´¯`•..•´¯`•..•´¯`•..•´¯`•..•´¯`•.

Author’s Note: Gah… I'm such a procrastinating butterfly. I should be writing my Billy Russo series which I'm so excited about, but I just want to be able to read it already instead of having to write first + I'm currently writing each and every chapter instead of the next one (struggles of a fanfiction writer - am I right?). So, what do I do instead? I flew from one of my obsessions to another and got inspired by this week's @flashfictionfridayofficial​ prompt. 

Anyways... This fic will be a little to late for some of you guys, but still: Merry Christmas everyone! And if you do not celebrate Christmas I still hope you have a wonderful day and a rest of the year filled with love and happiness. You did it, you fought through it. I’m sure you had your own pair of himbo ghosts taking care of you.

word count: ~ 1k

summary (and basically background info): Y/N is Julie's & Flynn's friend who doesn’t know about the ghosts (let’s just say she believes that they’re holograms). The boys become attached to Y/N due to her kindness and positivity and do everything in their (ghostly) powers to keep her days sunny and bright, especially in winter.  Or: Two times Y/N is oblivious to the boys 'paranormal' activities and the one time she notices it

prompt: Comfort in the Cold by @flashfictionfridayofficial​

warnings: english is not my first language, therefore, typos

| Part Two | Part Three |

.•´¯`•..•´¯`•..•´¯`•..•´¯`•..•´¯`•..•´¯`•..•´¯`•..•´¯`•.

#1: Luke

Slowly and quietly you made your way down the stairs of the Molina household, leaving Julie's and Flynn's sleeping forms behind. Even though you had just watched multiple Christmas movies and probably eaten double your weight in popcorn, your stomach was still asking for more. As Julie knew about your habits of needing a midnight snack and since Ray repeatedly told you to make yourself at home you weren't feeling bad about stealing some small bits and pieces out of their fridge or cupboards.

Which is why you were straining your ears to hear any sounds that might indicate that you had woken up either Carlos or Ray, but you were only met with silence. Releasing the breath you were holding you hastily hopped down the last few steps down to the living room, grabbed the stair railing and used the momentum of your movement to swiftly swing yourself in the direction of the kitchen, freezing at the sight that greeted you.

A quick glance at the clock told you it was 2 a.m. and the continuous silence indicated that nobody except you was awake and around. Yet, as you hesitantly took a view steps towards the kitchen counter, pulling your blanket like a shield tighter around your body, there was a perfectly fine peanut-butter/jelly sandwich waiting for you, a smiley made out of Nutella painted onto it. Your favourite midnight snack.

A small note peaked out from under the plate and it took you some time to decipher the chicken scratch. Can't have our favourite groupie going to bed hungry! 

Smiling and shaking your head, thinking that either Julie or Flynn must have sneaked out of the room sometime earlier to make you this sandwich you happily bit into it. 

If you'd known that there was a brown-haired ghost with hazel eyes sitting opposite to you and watching you with a smile, the sandwich would have probably gotten stuck in your throat.

#2: Alex 

Doing multiple Christmas movie marathons would be fun they said. No need to worry they said. Only Christmas cheer and joy they said. Well… long story short, even fun movies can make you bawl like a baby! 

A few days after the midnight snack incident, which you completely forgot about, you were once again sitting on Julie's bed. With her and Flynn to your left and right, you had been watching different movies on her computer. Currently, however, you were only trying. Tears were blurring your vision and your sniffles were the only sounds reaching your ear. 

Pressing the plushy's soul that Flynn had won you at a fair out of its body and sobbing into it, you felt Julie shift beside you and lay her head in your lap and mumbling something while Flynn was searching for a handkerchief.

"Whose idea was it again to watch this movie?" you tried to ask, but your voice came out all thick and full of emotion, so you weren't sure if they understood or heard you at all.

What you didn't know was that the boys were watching the movie, and now mostly you, with big eyes.

"Remember the day when Julie was crying in the garage and then Flynn came in crying too? Remember how I said that two girls crying are worse than one girl crying? This… this is way worse!" Luke pointed exaggeratedly at every single one of you and moved quickly out of Flynn's way when she left the room to get a box of tissues. 

"Dude… they're not actually crying crying. It's just a really sad movie," Alex said and sighed quietly when he heard Reggie whisper, "Do you think that's what Willie meant when he said Caleb floods the place during movie night?"

"That's... no, okay." Shaking his head Alex moved towards the bed and sat carefully at Flynn's place to not alert you of the shift beside you. Then he gently took a paw of the plushy that you weren't currently pressing into an embrace and lifted it to wipe away your tears and free your sight. 

You sniffled, too confused and full of emotion to realize what just happened and that it couldn't possibly have been Julie or Flynn, and whispered a small, "Thank you". 

Alex smiled, proud of his action.

#3: Reggie

You didn't even bother to take off your shoes or wipe away the residual snow still sticking to your hair as you flopped yourself down onto your bed, groaning into your pillow. Everything was already grey, wet or at least soggy anyway. To say your day had been bad was an understatement.

It's the most wonderful time of the year With the kids jingle belling And everyone telling you be of good cheer It's the most wonderful time of the year

Confused you lifted your head and starred at your computer who apparently decided to become sentient and cheer you up.

It's the hap-happiest season of all With those holiday greetings and gay happy meetings When friends come to call It's the hap-happiest season of all

The next thing that happened would forever be burned into your brain. Your favourite pen suddenly lifted itself up into the air and started to scribble down onto a nearby paper. Slowly and unsure you stood up and inched closer to your desk, but as soon as you were able to sneak a peak onto the paper the pen stopped and fell down.

Shaking your head you rubbed your eyes and turned back to your bed. "This is the weirdest lucid dream I ever had." The moment you flopped back down onto your bed you heard the familiar scratching of pen on paper again. Turning your head there it was again - the floating pen. "What?"

However, once again, as soon as you reached the desk the pen fell down, lifeless. “Alright... alright. I understand! Don’t worry, I won’t sneak a peak.”

"I am dreaming... right?" You weren't. Pinching yourself hurt, trying to breathe through a closed nose didn't work and your pointer finger would not move through the palm of your hand.

Shakily, yet weirdly motivated by the happy Christmas music still playing in the background, you picked up the note laying beside the now still pen. "Merry Christmas Y/N! Lots of love from Reggie, Alex and… Who?" 

"It told you, Luke… I should just have signed for us all."

"Shut it Reg, I know my handwriting sucks."