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theladyofdeath · 4 years

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Alone in the Ashes {24}

A Court of Thorns and Roses fanfction, characters belong to Sarah J Maas. Modern au. Revolves around Nesta x Cassian, Feyre x Rhysand, and Elain x Azriel. Other characters appear throughout. Based on multiple prompts sent in by anons tbr below.

Warning: Mature content. Alcohol abuse, verbal abuse, drugs, sex, language, eating disorders.

For summary & chapter index, click > Alone in the Ashes {Acotar}

Word Count: 2.6k

A/N: Remember that one time when Lucas and Nathan faced off on the rivercourt for Peyton’s affection? Yeah. Good times.

Anyways, even I said “What the fuck” at the end of this chapter...Enjoy “The one before the finale”. x

“I'd always thought death would be some sort of peaceful homecoming - a sweet, sad lullaby to usher me into whatever waited afterward.” ― Sarah J. Maas, A Court of Wings and Ruin

“Lain?”

It was the week before Rhysand and Feyre’s wedding, and everyone was going out to celebrate. All but Elain, who offered to stay home with Mila so that Azriel could enjoy himself. He’d been on edge too often, lately. He needed a good night out.

Besides, Elain was pregnant and nauseous and the last thing she wanted to do was be out with a bunch of people when she couldn’t drink and was too damn tired to dance.

“Yes?” Elain asked from where she was perched on the other side of the couch.

“Is the baby in your belly a boy or a girl?”

Elain chuckled. “We don’t know yet. What do you want the baby to be?”

Mila took a minute to think about it. “I don’t care. I just want someone to play with.”

Elain’s smile softened. “Well, soon enough, baby will be here.”

“I be a big sister?” she asked, with hope in her sweet, innocent eyes.

“Sure will,” Elain confirmed. “The best big sister!”

“Is Uncle Azzie going to marry you?” Mila asked. “Like Rhysie and Feyre.”

“Maybe,” Elain said, in all honesty. “But not right now.”

“I want you to marry Uncle Azzie,” Mila said, sighing as she pet Elain’s cat, Ginger. “We could all live together in a big house. Me, you, Uncle Az, and baby.”

Elain watched Mila as she kissed the kitten’s forehead. “I would like that, too.”

“Good,” Mila beamed. “Can we watch t.v.?”

“It’s getting late,” Elain said, huffing a laugh, a hand on her stomach. The morning sickness wasn’t as bad, but it tended to linger throughout the day.

“Please?” Mila sang, big eyes pleading.

“Alright, but only for a little while,” Elain said. “When i say it’s time for bed, it’s time for bed.”

Mila jumped up on the couch, arms in the air. “Yay!”

Elain turned the station to a kid’s show as she pulled out her phone and texted Azriel, What did this child have for lunch? She has enough energy for all of us.

Azriel’s reply came a second later. Chicken nuggets.

Then, it was followed by, A cherry icee might have happened, too.

Elain laughed to herself as she typed out, Oh, good. Get her all sugared up then leave her with the pregnant woman.

“Lain, do you have ice cream?”

Elain shook her head. “How about an apple?”

Mila groaned. “Fine.”

As Elain went into the kitchen, her phone vibrated in her hoodie pocket. Azriel had said, I can always come home. I’m only ten minutes down the road if you need me.

Have fun, Elain had texted back. Enjoy yourself. We’re good over here. After adding a green heart emoji, she pressed send.

After washing an apple and cutting it into slices, Elain walked back into the living room, where Mila was snoring, using Ginger as a pillow. Shaking her head, Elain took her place at the other end of the couch.

When she pulled her phone out of her pocket, it read, Kiss Mila and the baby goodnight for me.

Elain’s cheeks turned pink as she smiled. Every night, Azriel pressed his soft lips to Elain’s stomach, to the bump that had formed there.

I will, Elain had typed back. Always.

~~~~~~

“I feel bad for leaving Elain,” Feyre frowned. “She deserves to have fun, too.”

“She offered,” Nesta reminded her. “Besides, she’s been up at the crack of dawn puking her guts up. The woman needs to take sleep when she can find it.”

Feyre agreed before taking another shot.

Shots were on Mor, and the rounds kept coming. Feyre had already texted Rhysand once, to see where Cassian and Azriel were taking him, but he had replied that he didn’t know, that it was a surprise, and that he was scared shitless because any surprise that involved Cassian was asking for trouble.

Feyre didn’t disagree.

“One week from today,” Amren began, eyes bright, intoxicated, “you’ll be a married woman.”

“Any idea where you’re going for the honeymoon?” Mor asked. “Rhys let anything slip?”

“Not a thing,” Feyre groaned. “And it’s been driving me crazy.”

“Any guesses?” Nesta asked.

Feyre took a second to think about it. Yes, she had guessed a few times over the past weeks, but Rhysand had let nothing slip. “My guess is Adriata. He knows I love the beach.”

And even now, as Autumn was beginning, Adriata was as warm and sunny as ever. But every time Feyre had guessed as much, Rhysand just shrugged and said, Guess you’ll have to wait and find out.

The handsome bastard.

“You know what we should do?” Mor asked, then looked to Nesta. “Designated driver, pull the car around, please. We have to get the bride prepared for her honeymoon.”

Feyre groaned, but Nesta was already on her feet, hurrying out the door.

Five minutes later, they were gathered together in Nesta’s car, driving down Main Street.

“Where are you taking me now?” Feyre asked, exasperated.

“You’ll see,” Mor crooned.

The endless list of surprises was about to drive Feyre insane.

They pulled up to a little lingerie shop and dragged Feyre out of the car.

“Is this necessary?” she asked. “Rhysand prefers me naked.”

Mor rolled her eyes as Amren said, “You can’t go on your honeymoon without a solid selection of overpriced lingerie.”

Feyre laughed, unable to argue as they entered the shop.

The room was filled with lace and silk, varying in styles and choices.

“Fine,” Feyre sighed. “Everyone pick out something and I’ll get it, no questions asked, but after this, we drink!”

Feyre was answered with laughter and hollering as she crashed in a chair near the dressing room.

She would be married, Rhysand’s wife, in one week. It almost didn’t seem real. Everything was going so well, so smoothly, so beautifully, even with the rushed planning.

One week, with her girls by her side, and apparently a bag packed full of lingerie, ready to go wherever the hell Rhys was taking her after the ceremony... She would be her best friend’s wife.

~~~~~

The back of Cassian’s truck was down, a twelve pack of shitty beer sat on the unhitched gate, and rock music poured from the radio as the three friends played basketball on the small court along the Sidra.

Rhysand’s mom used to take the three of them there, from the time they were in middle school and fell in love with the sport. It had always been a safe haven, so it made sense why his two closest friends would gather an ass-ton of beer and take him to the court for some bonding before he got hitched in a week.

Cassian had a beer can pressed to his lips as he dribbled the ball to the free-throw line.

“Anything new about Eris?” He asked.

Azriel cleared his throat. “No, but Amarantha calls and leaves a voicemail every other day, claiming the prick won’t give up. Which, I believe. Eris isn’t the type to be told he can’t have something and drop it.”

Azriel had gone to court a few days prior, and Eris had left furious after he’d been granted nothing. It was a win, but Rhysand could tell Azriel’s worry lingered.

“No matter what happens, she’s going to get older, you know? Eventually, she’ll have questions about them both, and I’m going to be the bad guy for saying, your mom’s in prison, and your dad’s a dick. Sorry, can’t see either of them.”

“Doesn’t make you a bad person for wanting to protect her,” Rhysand said. Cassian raised his beer in agreement.

“So I hear,” he mumbled, and surely Elain had been constantly telling him the same thing. “Nervous?” Azriel asked, where he stood beneath the hoop, undoubtedly hoping to get the conversation off of him.

“About playing against Cassian?” Rhysand asked. “Hardly.”

Azriel chuckled. “About getting married, dumbass.”

Rhysand grinned. “Not really. Nothing to be nervous about.”

People were still around, the sun yet to have completely sink down, walking or jogging along the walk by the river. None of them seemed to care that they were drinking in a public area, or that their music was obnoxiously loud.

“I’d be nervous,” Cassian muttered, throwing his empty can at his truck bed - and completely missing.

“If you were marrying Nesta?” Rhysand asked. “Fuck, any man would be nervous. Or, you know, completely terrified.”

Cassian snorted, but didn’t deny it. “About getting married in general. Everyone staring up at you, watching you stare lovingly into each other’s eyes as you proclaim your love…”

Azriel laughed, taking the ball away from Cassian and dribbling it up to half court. “That’s bullshit, you love attention.”

Cassian’s grin only widened. Rhysand said nothing as he watched Azriel dribble up to the three point line, all he could do is laugh as Cassian took a step forward to block his shot, but stumbled.

And yet, Azriel shot the ball and it missed the backboard by a foot.

Maybe they’d all had more to drink than they had thought.

But none of them chased that ball as it rolled off the court, and out onto the grass, near the riverwalk.

Where a young man picked it up, saw Rhysand, Cassian, and Azriel, and grinned.

So did his companion.

Rhysand froze, and Cassian started charging forward, but Azriel quickly grabbed him by the shirt and pulled him back.

Tamlin chuckled. “That’s right, control your bitch.”

He and Eris stopped at the edge of the court.

Those walking past must have sensed the tension, because they began receiving strange looks as they stood atop the court in silence.

And yet, they all kept walking past.

“I hear you’re getting married next week,” Tamlin went on, strutting onto the court, ball bouncing on the concrete. “I suppose I should congratulate you. And my beautiful Feyre.”

Rhysand said nothing, but Cassian spat, “Leave.”

“How about we play?” Eris suggested, but he was looking at Azriel. “It’s been a while since we played.”

“You’re not welcome here,” Azriel said.

“Where is my daughter, by the way?” Eris said, looking around. “With your whore, no doubt.”

Now it was Cassian’s turn to grab Azriel by the arm. It only made Eris’s grin wider and far more wicked.

“We don’t want trouble,” Rhysand said, plainly. “Give us our ball back and go.”

Tamlin did no such thing. “I think a game would be fun. Me and Eris against Cassian and Az. Rhysand, you could referee. Wouldn’t want you getting injured so close to your big day. Feyre will need you to be able to...perform. We all know how needy she is in bed, especially on her wedding night.”

Rhysand’s jaw hardened. “Why are you here, Tam?”

“We were walking by,” he said, shrugging. “We can’t stop and say hello?”

“No,” Cassian said, plainly.

“Then perhaps we’ll stop and say hello at the wedding, instead,” Tamlin crooned. “I hear it’s not far from here. By the woods, along the Sidra…”

“If you show up at the wedding-” Rhysand growled, but he was cut off.

“You’ll what?” Eris laughed. “Ask us to leave like you’re doing now? How’s that approach working for you?”

“I’ll handle it,” Cassian said, voice low. “And, considering the state I left you two in after our last encounter, you know that’ll end.”

Eris’ smile faded. “You were lucky, filled with that unholy rage that’s landed you in a jail cell more times than I can count.”

Cassian took a step forward, and this time, Azriel didn’t stop him. “You know what you’re problem is?” Cassian asked, looking between the two of them. “You grow up, spoiled, getting everything you’ve ever wanted, and now, you have this unwavering entitlement that makes you think you’re fucking invincible.” He took another step forward. “But you’re not. One day, you’ll get what’s coming to you, and your daddys won’t be there to help you out.”

Tamlin grinned as he met Cassian in the lane, closing the distance between them. “Spoken like a true bastard, who killed his own mommy and whose daddy didn’t want him.”

Cassian’s body went still.

Azriel’s face went pale.

Yes, Cassian had a lot of anger. And that anger came from somewhere. And that somewhere was just declared, outright, from Tamlin’s mouth.

Cassian didn’t talk about it, but Rhysand and Azriel knew. In high school, Cassian had found his mother dead in their living room. Then, unable to handle the pain of loss, he fled for weeks and no one saw him. The rumors that came from that were unbearable. But that’s all they were, of course, fucked up rumors.

That Rhysand was certain Tamlin and Eris had been the ones to spread.

“You need to leave,” Rhysand warned.

But Tamlin didn’t move.

Nor did Eris.

Instead, Eris pulled a small knife out of his pocket and flicked it open. He used the sharp tip to clean the dirt out from under his fingernails.

Utter rage consumed Azriel’s face.

That man was Mila’s father.

Cassian was unleashed.

He instantly tackled Tamlin to the ground, Cassian’s fist colliding with his jaw. Then Eris was on the move, charging at Azriel, but he stood his ground.

Rhysand’s can fell out of his hand, spilling across the pavement as he moved toward them, one foot in front of the other, to where Tamlin now had Cassian held down, just barely, by his throat.

What happened after that was a blur of blood and chaos.

Women who walked past walked by quickly, and a few men eventually came to try and break it up, but they were only swept into the fight themselves.

It became an all out war.

“Call the police!” a woman yelled, and Rhysand had hardly heard her above the madness surrounding him, above the pounding in his ears.

He had just brought a man down that had gotten him good in the nose when Rhysand spun around, and saw it.

Eris had Azriel pinned against the ground by his knees, one hand holding his face still, the other holding that knife to Azriel’s neck.

Azriel laid perfectly still, breathing hard. Any movement, and the blade would get him.

Rhysand screamed Eris’ name, but when he started to run that direction, he was caught by a random jogger who threw him against the court. Cassian was still tumbling around with Tamlin, completely unaware of what was happening outside of their feud.

It was then that a middle-aged man, who should have been nowhere near the court, stepped behind Eris and tried to haul him off of Azriel.

But Eris was strong, much stronger. He pulled the knife away from Azriel’s neck, only to push the man down with such force that Rhysand could hear him hit the concrete. Rhysand was already on his feet, moving as quickly as he could toward the scene, but he was still too far away.

Azriel took Eris’ distraction to his advantage, though. He grabbed the knife from Eris’ hand and stabbed him in the side. Eris cried out in agony, but Azriel was pushing Eris off of him, and was hurrying to the middle-aged man lying on the concrete, hazel eyes full of horror.

“Call a fucking ambulance!” he screamed, his voice so loud, so panicked, that the fight surrounding them began to dissipate.

Even Tamlin looked at the sight, looked at Azriel hovering over the man, in horror.

Because he knew that man.

Cassian’s face paled as he dropped Tamlin to the concrete and, blood running from his nose, ran to his truck for his phone.

Because lying on the ground, still as stone, was Isaac Archeron.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

tag List (to be tagged, comment or send me an ask!)

@throne-of-ashes-and-beauty @starkovsnesta @redisriding @photofeesh

@mariamuses @tswaney17 @amaranthas-whore @awesomelena555

@danika-defendyr @rachaels14 @faequeenaelin @theshadowsinger-and-thefawn

@hashtolanashoba @poisonous00 @chemicha @samotita

@mynewdreamwasyou @humming-asong

@candid-confetti @awkward-avocado-s @sensitiveillyrian

@my-fan-side @queen-of-glass @stars-falling

@ifangirlninja @sleeping-and-books @burritowithfeels

@morebooks-pls @kindofawalkingpoem

@sannelovesreading @empressnesrynfaliq

@halstudies @sleeping-and-books @alwayss-reading

@amren-courtofdreams @b00kworm

@wifeofchrishemsworth @booksstorm

@goldr0ses @blackjacks-donuts

@humanexile @over300books

@booksbooksbooksworld @starrynightsbooks

@girl-who-reads-the-books @mockingjayusa

@mis-lil-red @mini-monster-amren

@shhhimreading03 @brittneym15

@emilyrose111294 @queen-of-glass

@negativenesta @keshavomit

@argentumstella @sebxstianbarnes

@itsme-malin

@flora-and-fae

@feyrethedarklady

@starryandbooks

@gingerglides @candid-confetti

@gloriouspaintercreatorbandit @iliketoasterstrudels

@6255igntm @moondancer-204

@littlehoneyybee @acourtofbookworms

@the-regal-warrior

@awkward-avocado-s @nightcourtcinnamonroll

@aelin-rowan-whitehorn @bamchickawowow

@julemmaes @itsme-malin

@regular-nessian-trash @made-of-stardust-and-wanderlust

@ugh-avila @awkward-avocado-s

@superspiritfestival @the-dark-swan @girlgotattitude448 @eversincebeirut

@midnightrose-reader @lord-douglas-the-third @thestarguidingyouhome

@empress-ofbloodshed @starkovsnesta @nickjgoodsell

Prompts:

{ “I’m gonna fuck you so hard that you forget you ever met that asshole” - Feysand } -anonymous

{ “How about Nessian needing to fake date when they go home for the holidays?!” } - anonymous

{ “could u pls do like an elriel fic where azriel is like this mysterious bad boy and elain is a goody two shoes lik aaaaa i cant get that image out of my head” } - anonymous

#acotar #acomaf #acowar #acofas #sjm #fanfic #fanfiction #nessian #feysand #elriel #tacmc aita

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theroguequeenaniki · 5 years

Photo

I have a LOT more pictures and videos, but for this post, here are ten. (A lot of the pictures that I haven’t posted are blurry, but still great for memories, lol.)

Here is my fan-account/post about this weekend when I saw Tiffany Young in Dallas!

Friday November 15th 2019 - Sunday November 17th 2019

Whoo! A lot has happened this weekend! It was a very fun weekend, lol.

I went to Dallas with my sister, and one of my best friends, Raven ( @snek-and-angle), for a concert.

Friday November 15th 2019

Day before the concert.

On Friday I didn’t do a lot, mostly spent the day in great anticipation, and I packed, and did my nails, and all that. My brother and his girlfriend informed us they weren’t able to come to Dallas with us, so that’s the main reason I’m writing it here. B/c I’m using it as an introduction. Initially, this trip was going to be me, my friend Raven, my sister, my brother, and his girlfriend. But, last minute it ended up just being me, Raven, and my sister. But we still took my brother’s car. (He and my sister traded for the weekend, lol) So, yeah. I went to bed late b/c I was up packing. Lol.

Saturday November 16th 2019

Day of the concert.

My sister and I got up early, I got up at like 8a, she’d been up for a little while, lol. Raven had messaged me she was up at like 7a. So, we got dressed, made sure we had everything we needed, I grabbed a beverage (my usual cherry coke lol), we said bye to our parents (who were still in bed lol), and the cats, and hit the road. First stop was picking up Raven. We picked her up and then we officially were on our way to Dallas!

We made one stop along the way, and that was at Buc-ees, b/c, well, we needed gas, plus, it’s Buc-ees. Lol. So, we got our gas, and also grabbed a snack. I got a chicken caesar salad and a pepsi icee. Then we drove the rest of the way to Dallas. We made really good time, and got there like 1 ½ hours before Check-in for our Hotel. So, we went to see if we could check in early, we couldn’t, b/c they didn’t have any King Suites available yet, but they allowed us to check our bags, and told us they’d call or text if our rooms were ready before 3p. So, we went to do a little exploring. There was a small park by our hotel, that had some Christmas decorations. We also popped into a Starbucks, but my sister & I didn’t get anything, only Raven did. We were going to chill there for a while, but..they closed. Lol. So, we went back to the park, and sat on a bench, and just did people and dog watching, chatting, and playing on our phones. Lol. Some kids came up selling bags of M&M’s for a $1, my sister and I declined, but Raven bought some (she loves M&M’s lol).

Our rooms weren’t ready before 3p, so at 3p we went back to the hotel, but only my sister’s room was ready. So, we got our bags, and went up to her room. We hung out in there, and I actually started to get ready for the concert, b/c our room was taking too long, lol. My outfit was a black lacy top, black leggings, and a maroon skirt, along w/ black boots. (Though at this point I was still wearing my tennis shoes lol)

My sister and I finally went down to see if our room was ready, and it was. So I got the room keys, and went back up, and Raven and I went to our room to finish getting ready.

Our hotel was Hotel Indigo, it was a pretty fancy hotel, located in Downtown Dallas, it stands where the Historic Dallas Opera house used to be. It was really nice and I loved it, but I think we felt a little out of place, lol. Anyway, we had two King Suites. One for my sister (which she was going to share w/ my brother & his girlfriend, but they didn’t come) and one for me and Raven. They were nice, they had a living room and a bedroom, a flat screen in both rooms, a really nice bathroom, a keurig, and a mini fridge. Mine and Raven’s suite was actually a little bigger lol.

So, once we were finally in our room, we finished getting ready. I did my hair(pig tails, w/ black and white bows, w/ metal buttons from Hot Topic, lol), makeup (literally just bb cream & lip gloss lol), put on jewelry(bangles, a cat ring on both ring fingers, my Buffy ring on my left ring finger and my ring from Sarah Rees Brennan on my right ring finger (yes, I wore two rings on each finger lol), I prepared my bag(tickets, id, money, lightstick, camera, portable phone chargers, etc), I put on my black boots, and then my sister met us at our room, and we went to dinner.

We went to a place called Zenna, which served Thai and Japanese food. And it just so happened to be Happy Hour, so I had a California roll and it was very good. We also had some edamame, and some spring rolls (which were some of the best spring rolls I’ve ever had). For my entree I had Teriyaki Chicken w/ fried rice, it was really good. I also had a coke for my drink. It was a really cool restaurant. Our waiter was also pretty cool, lol. We couldn’t finish our food, b/c there was so much, so we took the leftovers back to the hotel. (Leftovers I am currently eating while writing this post, lol) Raven and I then grabbed the things we’d forgotten, and then went back downstairs to get an uber and head to the venue. (My sister went back up to her room b/c she wasn’t going to the concert lol)

We took our uber to the venue, the guy literally got out of the car and opened the door for us, like a chauffer lol. (Raven followed along the route on her phone for as long as her phone would let her, and I followed it on google maps, I also texted my sister when we got in the uber, and when we got to the venue, for safety, always be cautious, you guys). And then stood in line for about an hour until doors opened at 7pm. We only had general admission tickets, so we didn’t get to meet Tiffany (this time, I’m hoping to get VIP the next time she tours, b/c I’m sure she’ll tour again, lol). The line wrapped around the side of the venue. It was cold, I brought my jacket, as I was wearing a lacy top, Raven had decided not to bring hers, b/c she was wearing a sweater, and we weren’t going to be outside very long. We ended up sharing my jacket back and forth, lol. A girl came around the line passing out glow sticks, we took them, but then after a while realized we didn’t want them, so we gave them to the people behind us, who were very happy to get them, b/c we’d gotten the last two. Some guys walked by offering “free hugs” and “free hugs from an Englishman” or something, Raven and I ignored them, lol. Once doors were open, the line moved pretty quickly, and we were inside by 7:04p. lol.

Once inside, we headed straight for the merch booth. I bought a tour t-shirt, the pen, and the photocard & stand set. Raven bought a lightstick. (I had my Girls’ Generation molar bong lol) Raven then bought a beer, and we went to find a place to stand, we were near the back. We took a pictures of our lightsticks together, and I was starting to accept that I would probably have a hard time seeing the stage, when the staff opened up the stairs to the balcony. Luckily, we were right by the stairs, so we booked it up there, and got a spot right on the railing, and I had a perfect view of the stage. (With a column blocking only a very small portion of the stage) I was right by the trash can, but it didn’t bother me (there wasn’t anything smelly in it) and it meant that there was no one but Raven beside me. Some girls asked Raven about her light stick, b/c it was the Tiffany Young one. Raven went down to buy another drink, and she bought me a coke. (B/c there was a $10 minimum & she needed to close out her tab lol) I took a few sips.

Then.

The show was starting. I had my lightstick in one hand, my camera in the other, and my coke at my feet (it was a bottled one lol). Everyone was chanting “TIFFANY! TIFFANY! TIFFANY!” the pink ocean below me was beautiful (I was part of a smaller pink ocean up top, but, of course, we were really all one pink ocean lol) Tiffany came out on stage dressed in sparkly blue shorts and a white top, white boots, blue lacy gloves, and a cowboy hat a fan had given her at the VIP Meet & Greet. I was floored. I was in awe. I was crying. I was screaming. I was singing. There in front of my eyes, in person, was the real life Tiffany Young of Girls’ Generation. I wasn’t looking at a screen, I was looking at the real Tiffany. She was singing Run For Your Life and I was so excited. I was filming, then I was taking pictures. She performed Over My Skin next. I’m not going to list the full set-list, b/c I can’t remember the order, and I can’t remember the names of some of the cover songs, lol. I didn’t film most of Run For Your Life and Over My Skin b/c I was taking pictures. Talk as well. I mastered, somewhat, the art of watching her on stage, and not looking at my camera, but keeping my camera on her. A few times it panned down to the audience, but, I mean, I was dancing and waving my lightstick and living in the moment! Because Tiffany Young was in front of me on stage putting on an amazing show and I was so so happy! Every song was more exciting, I didn’t touch my phone for 2 hours! I barely noticed how much my feet hurt (Raven and I both wore heeled boots, b/c they make our outfits look cool, and they make us taller, lol) I was living in the moment, I was seeing one of my idols, live and in person, for the very first time, after TEN YEARS of being a Sone. I was moved. It was..it was magnificent. I loved every second of it. I filmed most of the concert, though. Every song she performed, I just about died. Run Devil Run. Heartbreak Hotel. Teach You. All of them. I loved them all. She talked about how amazing we all are, and how much she loves us. She talked about mental health, and how important it is to take care of yourself, and to take care of those around you. She told us to let those we love and appreciate know we love and appreciate them. She interacted w/ us, and answered questions. She pointed out a fan w/ a rainbow flag. It was wonderful. It was magnificent. When the show ended, it felt like no time had passed, and I wanted it to go on forever! She came back out for the encore, and performed Magnetic Moon and Run For Your Life (again, I got it in full this time). And right as Run For Your Life ended, my camera died! Lol. I managed to get it back on to snap a few more picture, and then I put it away.

After the concert.

Once she had left the stage, and it was clear the show as over, Raven and I took some selfies, trying to get the stage behind us. And then staff told us they were closing off this section. So, I grabbed my coke from the floor, and we went back downstairs. We took a few more selfies, then tested Raven’s phone to see if we could order an uber, we could not b/c her phone wouldn’t come back on. So, we decided to use mine and order a lyft (b/c for some reason I had the lyft app already downloaded, even though I’d never used it before lol) We went outside, and it was freezing. We stood w/ the crowd by her tour bus for 20 minutes, while I tried to figure out the lyft app, and also hoping she would come out sooner rather than later..she didn’t come out before we left. But Raven was freezing, and our feet were killing us. So, we left to find one of the streets Lyft was telling us to go to. We found it, I ordered the lyft, and then we were on our way back to our hotel. (I texted my sister when we got in the lyft, and followed the route on both the lyft app, and google maps, for safety precautions) Once back at the hotel, I asked the front desk for some cutlery, so we could go up and eat our leftovers from dinner. Raven ate hers, but I only ate a few bites of mine, b/c it was cold and we didn’t have a microwave, lol. We went back down to the lobby in our pjs and bought powerades, lol. I made sure most of my stuff was packed, so the next morning wouldn’t be difficult, finished my powerade, brushed my teeth (and washed off my bb cream & lip gloss lol), had a bit of an issue when a very small cut started bleeding..but I dealt with it, it was fine. Lol. Then, we then watched some Holiday Baking competitions on the food network in bed, and then went to sleep. At least, she went to sleep, I was awake for longer than I wanted to be, b/c some of our neighbors were having a real good time, if you get what I mean. I also had a bit of a headache, which I assume was from the concert, b/c of the super loud music, and probably the crash from the adrenaline rush of the concert. I did eventually get some sleep though.

We did make one fatal mistake that night, part of the reason are feet were killing us at the concert is because..we wore the boots to dinner. We knew we were going to go back to the hotel after dinner, b/c we weren’t going to let my sister walk back alone, and we had things to get from the room, but we wore our boots anyway. So, our feet were already dead before we even left for the show.

Sunday November 17th 2019

Day after the concert.

I had set an alarm for 9:30a, so we woke up then. I actually set the alarm sound as Run For Your Life, b/c obviously. Lol. We got up, my feet were so sore, but so were my legs. I have a blister on one of my toes, lol. My sister texted saying to tell her when we were awake and ready to go. I told her we were awake, and we’d be ready soon. We got dressed and finished packing, I started drinking my coke from the night before (cause caffeine, also it surprisingly wasn’t flat! Lol). I took the shampoo & conditioner, and the lotion, b/c they were Rosemary Mint scented. Lol. I wore my Magnetic Moon Tour t-shirt, b/c of obvious reasons. I did not wear the boots, I probably won’t wear those boots for quite a while. Lol. We made sure we had everything all packed, and then we left the hotel at 10:30a.

We went back to the parking garage, and I was confused b/c I was looking for my sisters car, even though we came in my brothers. Lol.

Then, we went to a Japanese dollar store called Daiso, b/c we don’t have them here in Austin. It was so cool, and most things were $2. I ended up getting a cat fan, a purple erasable pen, a notebook, a pair of pink heart shaped glasses (like the ones from Taylor Swift’s You Need To Calm Down video, lol). I also bought some soda flavored hi-chews that are fizzy (Raven says they’re really good), some cookies & cream pejoys. A Meiji Black Chocolate bar. A Dars white chocolate bar, that Raven said was a brand she loved in Japan. White chocolate coated cookies that Raven also said she loved in Japan. And a Hokkaido cream pastry, b/c, again, Raven said she loved them in Japan, lol. She actually got a green tea one, and I tried it and it was good, lol.

After Daiso, we headed to McAlister’s Deli to have lunch with my aunt and her boyfriend. (B/c they live in Ft. Worth.) I had the Four Cheese grilled cheese (though I took off the swiss, so it was a 3 cheese, lol, I also axed the tomato lol) a bag of chips, and a coke. We hung out and talked for a little while. And then we had to head out, so we could get back to Austin before it was dark.

So, we left Dallas/Fort Worth, and headed home. We stopped for gas. We stopped at a rest stop. And our only other stop was at Starbucks, where I got a Toasted White Chocolate Mocha Frappuccino. We got back to Austin as the sun was setting. We dropped off Raven, right before the sun fully set. Then my sister and I drove home. When we got home, our mom was on the front porch (to smoke..b/c both of my parents still smoke), and so she opened the door for us, cause our hands were full, lol. Sister and I greeted all the cats, aside from Luna, who was still hiding. And gave them treats, but they didn’t eat them, lol. Then when my mom came inside, we showed her what we got at Daiso, and I showed her my merch. Luna eventually came out of hiding, and came straight over to me to say hello. I gave the cats treats again, and this time they wanted them. Lol. Then I ate half of my left-overs from Zenna (b/c I brought them all the way home lol). My sister & mom both seperatly ordered Panda Express through Uber Eats. Lol. My dad got home (he spends every Sunday over at his brother’s house for football lol). And, things were pretty normal for a Sunday night, lol. I was at my computer watching videos for a few hours, and scrolling Twitter. Occasionally going to talk to my mom. The cats have been doing their thing. And then I typed all this up, while eating the other half of my left-overs. Lol.

Overall it was an amazing weekend and I’m so happy I got to experience it with one of my best friends and my sister. I’m so happy I got to see Tiffany Young live. I think I’m still in shocked disbelief. Like, it feels like a dream. If not for my feet still being sore, and my merch, pictures, and videos, I probably would think it was a dream. Lol. It was the best weekend!

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artisticestheticreads · 5 years

Text

Summertime Magic VIII

A/N: Sorry, it’s late but I have had no sleep because insomnia is a bxtch and my sanity is being tested. But I hope y’all enjoy.

WARNING: Angst, blood and teary moments

SONG RECOMMENDATION: TOO DEEP TO TURN BACK by Daniel Caesar

N’Jadaka was home, fresh out of the shower when he looked through his neatly organized closet. He decided to slip on a navy blue thin tee with jeans and matching converse. He put his father’s chain on and his gold Rolex with diamond studs in to complete the look. He took a look in the mirror by his front door before he left. “Fuck, can’t wait to get my shit blessed. Lookin’ like a pretty ass bummy nigga.” On his way to Y/N’s place, he got a call and grinned as he answered through the BlueTooth system in his car. “What up, cuz?”

On the other side, Shuri was in her lab as everyone slept. She sported her white lab coat with protective goggles and shoes as well. “Hello, prince. I am calling to see if you are ready for the youth center.” N’Jadaka steered the wheel with his left hand. “Yeah, but why the hell you up so late?” She held up a test tube with a glowing liquid that subtly changed colors. “You should know by now that rarely sleep. Just like you, dear cousin. Besides, I am working on a new cure for ones who do not have the bones of their former selves. This will be perfect for the elderly or just a child with a sprained ankle. I used one of the healing herbs from Zuri’s garden with a touch of vibranium.”

“That couldn’t wait until the morning. You need all the sleep you can get, Shuri.”

“I can sleep when I am dead, N’Jadaka. But I will be down to look at the youth center. T’Challa and Okoye will be in New York, planning for the center out there.” N’Jadaka nodded stopping at the red light when he turned to the right to see his baby’s future shop. “When you gonna be here?”

“I will be there in 72 hours so I want my room set for me. Clean sheets and all.”

“Don’t push it, cuz”, he said with a straight face pulling up to the liquor store. “Aye, cuz. Ima call ya back. Love you, sis.” She smiled and said, “love you too.” He stepped in the store and grabbed a hand cart; walking over to the chip section to grab a few things that were Y/N’s favorite. He strolled over to the cooler when he felt like he was being watched. He rose his brow paying no mind when he felt a target on his back. He put the drinks in the cart and looked through the glass door to see a figure mirrored against it. When he was about to get over to the icee section, a man stood beside him, just a few inches shorter than the prince. “What up, my nigga? You a little too close”, N’Jadaka said with a brow rose.

The man wore a floral jersey with jean shorts that stopped passed his knees. His skin was light skin and fairly toned with red beaming through. “You the nigga with homegirl down the street?” N’Jadaka turned faced to him with the cart beside on the counter, arms folded in front of his crotch. “Why da fuck you wanna know?”

“ ’Cause you with my homie’s girl? Dat’s why, nigga?” N’Jadaka looked him up, down, and chuckled which the man didn’t like. “The fuck you laughing at?” N’Jadaka looked at him in the eye inching closer to him. “Nigga, have you looked at ya self in the mirror, hm? You look like a Chris Brown background dancer reject. You look like the type of nigga that lipsyncs Trey Songz and lick ya ashy ass lips every two seconds on Instagram live and shit. Nigga, just moonwalk ya ass to where you ever you claim to be from and tell ya nigga that if he did his muthafucking job, like a real ass nigga like me, his ass would have never been demoted and I wouldn’t have got promoted.” He placed the icee in a drink tray when the guy still stood there. Without looking at him, he asked: “you still here, little nigga?” The man walked away and N’Jadaka paid for his stuff and left when he noticed a man selling flowers on the corner.

He pulled up to the house getting his stuff and knocked on the door with the stuff behind his back. Y/N opened the door with a smile and her hair under a hair wrap. She wore a black short bodysuit and damn, did she look good. He leaned down to kiss her forehead and then her lips softly. “Mmm mmm, lips are magically delicious”, he told her; that made her giggle with a small snort. “Come in, silly.” When they walked in, N’Jadaka saw CJ in the chair with a cape around his neck for his cut. “Aye, what up bruh,” Daka said and CJ gave him a nod. “Good. Good.”

“Oh, Daka. What is behind ya back”, Y/N asked as she stood in front of him with her hands on her hips. “Choose a hand”, he said with his brow rose and she smiled, pointing to the left. He pulled it from behind his back and revealed her favorite snacks and icee. Y/N shimmed and did her happy dance getting the stuff. “Too bad you ain’t pick the right”, he told her as he pulled out the right from his back, watching her eyes get big with a pout. He held out the beautiful bouquet of rainbow daises that were wrapped in yellow tissue paper. “You can have them but you gotta do something for me.”

“And what is that?”

“You gotta do that thing I love so much.” She rolled her eyes and smiled a little scrunching her nose for him. He chuckled as he handed her the flowers and she kissed his lips. “Thank youuuu, Daka.” She put them in a vase and placed them on her coffee table. He kicked his shoes off by the door and sat on the couch waiting. Soon, CJ was gone and N’Jadaka took his place at the sink for his hair to be washed. “Don't’ be falling asleep like last time.” After she washed his hair, she began twisting and finally got to the shape up. As she stood in front of him, he rubbed the back up her plush thighs and looked up to her. She kissed his forehead and smiled against his skin.

Once she was done, she cleaned up with his help and they sat on the couch, feeling comfortable as they ate snacks up until someone opened the door. Kesha wore a hoodie with a pair of shorts and sandals. “Hey, girl”, she said as she saw the couple on the couch. “N’Daka.” He rolled his eyes still looking up at the screen. “Koolio.” Kesha walked over the other side of the couch and sat in the styling chair. “Shay, your appointment isn’t for another hour.”

“I know but we can get a head start.” N’Jadaka held her down closer to him and she giggled before finally getting out of his arms. Y/N flopped the cape out and was about to wrap it around her neck when Shay stopped her. “Is it clean?” Y/N gave her look that N’Jadaka also gave her at the same time. Y/N wrapped the cape around and began to blow dry her hair better before flat ironing it. They sat in silence as the TV played in the background. Y/N looked over at N’Jadaka who watched her. “Yes, Mista Man. Can I help you?”

“Why you so damn pretty, huh? Old thick, cocoa butter self.” He leaned back and continued. “Ya got a man? I know yo cute ass do.” She looked at him with a smile and said “I mean I do but don’t you got a girl? You all handsome over there so I know you got one somewhere.” He stood, making his way to the kitchen and leaned into her ear. “I don’t have a girl. I got a princess.” He kissed the crook of her neck before getting to the fridge. Kesha sat there being irritated and aggravated at the cuteness. “Don’t burn me, Y/N.”

“When have I ever burned you, Kesha”; silence. “Exactly”. N’Jadaka pulled out the popcorn of the microwave and sat at the counter, watching Kesha being more bitter than ever. “Baby, guess what?”

“What, love?” He kissed her cheek and sat on the couch, eating. “Shuri gonna be in town in a couple of days.” Y/N looked over at him and asked: “so I finally get to meet Shuri in person?” He nodded. “Yeah. She coming out to look at the center we got up. Someplace in downtown and whatnot.” Y/N nodded and added “bet.” Kesha looked between them with something to say but kept it quiet. After her hair was done in a slick ponytail and side part. She handed the money to Y/N and watched her as she walked into her room.

When Y/N turned, she saw Kesha staring at her. “Y/N, we need to talk.” Y/N locked her safe and sat on the bed. “What’s up?” Shay beside her and said, “he changin’ you.” Baby Girl side eyed her and said: “the fuck are you talking about?”

“You changed. You don’t even call me anymore.”

“Seriously? I’ve been working.”

“And being with him 24/7″.

“Well, excuse me for spending too much time with my man, Kesha.”

“Well, you being a clingy ass bug-a-boo. A nigga shows you attention and you hop on him quick as fuck.” Y/N rolled her eyes and chuckled. “Look, I don’t know what is up with you but this is not the bitch I know and love.”

“If you love me Shay, then ya ass will be happy I’m with a man like him.”

“Psh. He just like any otha nigga from the hood.” Y/N stood and folded her arms, eyebrow raised up. “No, he ain’t. He a real man. He helps me a lot. Have you noticed that or have you been selfish?” Kesha stood and asked “excuse me? But I am only looking out for you.” Y/N asked “how, Sway? How?”

“I mean..” She stopped to think of what to say next. “Ima just come out and say it. He using you but you too stupid to see it.”

“Did you forget that I can snatch that fucking ponytail out ya raggedy-ass head?” Shay rolled her eyes and said “girl, bye. Do you see how that nigga looks? I mean....why you think he with you, sis? He can be fucking otha bitches half ya size.” That cut Y/N to her core. Her expression had dropped along with her hands. She was in such a deep thought, trying to fight tears. She always on the heavy side but when she got older, her body matured before everyone. She had to keep herself covered with big clothes to keep the boys’ wandering eyes away from her frame. Girls called her fat, chunky, disgusting and all. Kesha was there to make her feel better but Y/N slowly realized that Kesha had become one of the girls she hated. She walked up as she told her “you are just jealous.”

“Jealous of what, exactly? Look at me.”

“Ya jealous because Y/N got a real man who loves the way she is while you fucking otha bitches’ niggas”, they heard from the door. N’Jadaka stood there, arms folded and made his way over. He wrapped his arms around Y/N and told Kesha “you just another bitter ass skinny ass female who hatin’ on her homegirl because she got someone who cares. Y/N is a full ass package while you just the little envelope that muthafuckas toss away on the ground and step all over. Ya just another trash ass person with nothing to offer anymore.” Y/N stood still rubbing his arms and looking down. He held her chin up with a single finger and asked his lady, “you want her to leave, baby girl?” She nodded to stop her crying from coming through. He looked at Kesha then to the door and back at her. “Go. Now.”

“Whatever. nigga.” Before she left, she said “watch. He gonna break ya heart like everyone and ya know it.” Y/N looked to her and said: “add ya self to the list.” Y/N held her hand out and said: “I want my key back.” Kesha tried to not show how shook she was but it didn’t work as she struggled to take it. When she finally did, she threw it on the bed and stormed out the home. N’Jadaka had let her go to lock up and came back to see her sitting on the bed beside the key. “Baby Girl, you okay?” She looked up to him then down. He stood quietly watching her as she sat there, head to the ground until he held his hands out. She looked to him as he smirked and said “get up. I got you, baby. Always will.” She took his hands and he held her to his chest before they walked to the bathroom.

“Alright, little one. Look in the mirror, shoulders back and chin up.” She did as she was told he said “very good. Now, repeat after me, aight?” She nodded and he began. “I am beautiful.”

“I am beautiful.”

“Good. I am powerful.”

“I am powerful.”

“I am strong.”

He looked to her in the mirror and kissed her head. “Say I am loved.” She looked up to him to see his smirk and she copied. “I am loved.” He smiled and added, “and I matter.” When she repeated and he kissed her temple, they stood for a while warm embrace. The next day, Y/N and Daka stood in front of her store and said “I can’t believe I did it. This will all be mine next week.” N’Jadaka pulled her closer and rubbed her shoulder. “I’m proud of you, baby girl. In these couple of months, you did so much.” He kissed the top of her head as she wrapped her arms around his waist. “I can’t wait to get everything ready. Black tables, gold, and black furniture, cream and gray walls and a cute reception desk on the right side of the corner. Clean stations and everyone lined up.” N’Jadaka chuckled and said, “wanna hit the supply store again?”

“Yeah. I can see if the cha-”, she was cut off by her phone vibrating; she smiled when she saw it was her mother calling. “Hey, ma-”. Her smile suddenly dropped into a frown. N’Jadaka looked at her as she hung up; she was just frozen. “Daka, take me to Cedars.” They hurried to the hospital and when the doors open, she ran into her brother’s arms. “Where is pa?” He led them down to a room where her dad was sitting up watching TV, in a hospital bed. “There goes my baby girl.” She ran to him and held him. “Awe, baby. I’m okay.” She looked at his legs and asked what happened; he just chuckled. “Baby girl, I was working and I guess someone forgot to put up the wet floor sign and I fell.”

“Both knees are swollen and completely out of place”, her mom said to his other side. “How do you feel”, Y/N asked and he looked to her. “I’ll be fine.” Her mom added, “they wanna start the surgery right away but we don’t have enough.” Y/N looked to her wallet and nodded. “Let me go talk them.” N’Jadaka followed as they went to the desk. “I’m sorry, Miss Y/L/N but we have no choice but do the procedure now.”

“My folks cant afford it. What happens if he doesn’t get it right away?”

“Then he’ll be in more pain than before.” Y/N rolled her eyes away from the woman and thought about something. “How much do they need?” N’Jadaka looked at her as the woman said “5,000 more.” Y/N took a deep breath and nodded. It was either her shop or her father’s health. She pulled out her checkbook and wrote a check, handing it to the woman. She nodded as she left the couple alone. N’Jadaka watched as she sat down and made his way over. “Baby Girl-”.

“I guess the shop is gonna be on hold. I’ll have to cancel my appointment with the guy tomorrow. I can’t watch my dad in pain no more. I can’t.” She had tears fall down her cheeks and he sat beside her, cradling her. “Baby, I can help.” She looked up to him and shook her head. “It’s okay, Daka. Thanks. It can wait. I promise.” A few minutes later, she went to tell her parents as N’Jadaka. He thought it was great that she helped her father but then she had to go back to square one. “Hey, baby girl. I’m going to the cafeteria. Do any of yall want anything?” They declined but he offered to get them something to drink. When he got to the cafeteria, he got an incoming call.

“Hey, princess.” Shuri can sense the tone of his voice and was worried. “Everything okay, cousin?” N’Jadaka took a deep breath and said “I’ll be aight. Y/N’s pop is having his surgery and she used half her money to pay.” That’s when he got the idea. “Hey, cuz. When does your flight land again?” Later on in the day, Okoye met him in front of the hospital. She wore regular civilian clothes. He did the salute and said “you good?” She placed her hand on his shoulder and said “yes, I am. When does it start?”

“In a couple of hours. Y/N and her mom is still here but the brother went home. Did she give it to you?” She dug in her jacket pocket and handed him a tablet. “Cut it in half and put it in each of their glasses. Shuri said that they will be out all night until we are done. Shuri is bringing everything we need for tonight.” He nodded held the baggy. “What would I do without you, Ye?”

“What are best friends for, Prince? Good luck. I will be back in a few with Shuri and Ayo.” He went back and saw them standing beside him, backs turned to the door. He pulled out his swiss army knife to cut the thick pill, dripped each piece into their drinks and watched as the suds dissolved. He walked up to them, unsuspicious and said: “how you feeling, sir?”

“I will be alright because of my firstborn. Thank you, baby girl. I promise we will pay you back. She shook her head and held his hand. “It’s the least I can do, pa. Don’t worry. Just get better.” She kissed his cheek as N’Jadaka watched. Later that night, everyone was sleeping when N’Jadaka waited outside. Shuri, Okoye, and Ayo arrived in a rent a jeep and parked. They hopped out, Shuri had a backpack and walked over to him. “So, I guess they already did it, right?”

“Yeah, but they put a metal plate in his knees.”

“Ugh, amateurs. Metal is so hard to move with and the healing process will way too long. Let’s go.” They walked past the woman at the desk who was occupied and made it to the room. “Ayo and Okoye, stand out here and watch for anyone.” They followed orders and Shuri went over to the women. “Wow, they are really knocked out.” She knelt down to look at Y/N and lifted her arm. “Yeah, she is knocked out cold. She is really beautiful in person.”

“I know that, little one. Now, get ya ass over here”. She placed her bag on the hook beside the bed and dug info her kit, handing him a syringe. “Ok, this is the liquid form of the pill. Put it in his vein on his arm and he will be knocked out completely.” She whispered to Y/N’s dad as N’Jadaka finished. “You won’t be in pain anymore, sir. Thank me later.” She nodded as she sanitized her hands and put some gloves on, followed by a mask. She did a small incision on his right knee and pulled the plate out; she pulled out another syringe with the formula she made when they talked on the phone and inserted the liquid in his joints. “Okay, let’s see. What we can do?”

The next morning, the sun shined against their skin as Y/N stretched and yawned. “Wow, I was knocked out”, she said but when she looked to the bed, she got worried. She shook her mom’s shoulder to wake her. “Ma, where is pa?” All of a sudden, they heard the toilet flush. Y/N stood when she noticed her dad walked out, completely fine. Better than that actually. Her eyes felt misty as she watched. “Pa, how-why are you outta bed?”

“I had to piss.” He walked over to the bed to sit, not struggling. Her mom walked over to his side and asked: “Tommy, how do you feel?” He kissed her hand and said “I’m good, baby. I feel like I can play football again.” She had a few tears falling and her dad wiped them off. Y/N kissed her dad’s cheek as he thanked her and felt her phone vibrate. “Hey, babe. Left earlier today to shower and get Shuri. Don’t worry. I’m giving the dude the rundown for your shop. You will get a better one, one day.”

On the other died of town, N’Jadaka stood outside of his car and wore a pair of burgundy, pinstripe trousers with a white button-down, gold plate necklace, watch his gold-rimmed glasses paired with velvet black loafers. An Asian man parked beside him and stepped out in a full navy suit. “Steven Lu?” The man nodded and they shook hands. They walked into the store, looking around as N’Jadaka explained the details to him.

*𝒯𝒜𝒢𝒢𝐸𝒟 𝐿𝒪𝒱𝐸𝒮*

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hilllsnholland · 5 years

Text

Bucket List - (2)

Pairing: College!Tom x Deaf!Reader

W.c: 2.9k

Warnings: swears, alcohol, slurs

Summary: Ice cream really cures the soul

Disclaimer: This is all written from my perspective as a Deaf/HoH person. If you have comments, questions, or concerns then you are welcome to message me :)

The only thing Creekview had to offer was the sun. In London, the sun was a distant cousin that came around only when it benefited themselves. As much as Tom loathed the small college town, he loved the weather. He loved the sun beating down his neck while he sat outside Milky, serving ice cream to the somewhat pleasant residents of Creekview.

Milky was what Creekview was known for. It was a small drive-thru or walk up shop that served ice cream and other snacks. On the side of the building, there’s a beautiful mural of cows eating ice cream, looking out to the observer with blank expressions. Every day Tom patted each painted cow on the head on his way to his shift. A good luck sort of thing. It was needed though as the lines and customers got crazy as the temperature rose.

“Fuck this,” Brant spat as he wiped his forehead again. “They can’t even buy us an outdoor fan? Cheap ass white people.”

Tom tries to ignore him and enjoy the feeling of heat on his skin. The Brit tilts his sunglasses up on his face so that Brant can’t tell he’s in another headspace. The party still absorbed his mind. It had been three days since that night but he hadn’t stopped thinking of Y/N. When he got bored he fingerspelled his name like Y/N did. As soon as he got home that night he went online and practiced basic signs. Things like ‘hello’ ‘how are you’ ‘bathroom’ were now part of his vocabulary. It wasn’t much but it would be a gesture of willingness. All Tom wanted was to see her hands move again.

“I heard you hooked up with that pink haired chick.” Brant smugly says as he leans against the walk-up counter.

“No-”

“I saw her too. Looked like a wild one huh? I bet she’s hella freaky with that pink hair and shit.”

“Nothing happened. We kissed. She left. End of story.”

“Left you blue balling and shit? Sorry man,” Brant slaps Tom on the shoulder and smacks his lips. “I thought your British accent would help you pull but you keep striking out.”

Tom doesn’t respond. He spells his name again and goes through the alphabet to keep his mind at peace. The only good quality thing about Brant was that he was a talker. He could keep a conversation going for hours, but he mostly talked to hear his own voice. Tom could never say a word and Brant wouldn’t even notice.

“Ty got fucked up though. Kevin laid him out flat.” Brant snickers and eyes a few girls walking across the street.

“You told him to say that though, right? You set him up for it.” Tom narrows his eyes on the ground while Brant shifts his weight towards him.

“Hell yeah I did. You got a problem with that?”

Brant adjusts himself to stand straight. He was trying to be an alpha male alright, he was half a foot taller than Tom. Brant puffs out his chest but Tom does not give him the time of day. He knew his dirty work. He knew that Brant was a manipulative asshole, and sadly he was drawn into that culture. Times like this he really misses London. The guys there were assholes too, but this was a new breed of fuckery.

It seems like the div had found something else to be interested in because Brant was now flirting with a girl standing at the counter to order something. Tom went back to his original position of leaning on the wall behind him, his sunglasses tilting off the top of his nose. His mind went back to its usual job of putting Y/N in the center stage of his thoughts. God, if he’s on autopilot then he’s probably thinking about her. It was one meeting and he was hooked on it. He even approached LJ to ask her more that night.

LJ was in the midst of refilling the keg, her eyes locked on Harrison as he talks to a group of girls in his Sociology class. Tom had come up behind her hoping for answers. It was her party after all. She seemed to know everyone in this godforsaken town. LJ jumps when she sees Tom but settles with a laugh, hitting him on the shoulder.

“Scared me lovey.” She sloppily says.

“Do you know a Y/N?” Tom is quick with words while Lauren takes a second to think.

“Maybe?”

“She’s Deaf.”

“Oh, Y/N. Yes, I do.” LJ laughs and turns the nozzle of the keg back on. “I met her a while back at another party. She used to go to that Deaf school a few hours away.”

LJ shrugs and gulps down another solo cup full of beer. Tom wondered if he should ask more about her, but would that come off creepy? They didn’t seem like friends, but LJ is the type to gossip a bit. Lauren turns to Tom and looks as if she had come to an epiphany. Her hand caresses Tom’s cheek softly and she flattens her lips.

“That look on your face,” She purrs and drags her nail across his mouth.

“LJ, you’re drunk.” Tom tries to break the tension but she keeps staring on.

“So are you, but you’re...you got that happy look Tommy,” She’s not very coherent as she sways back and forth. “That same look I get when I see Haz…”

Her face becomes more flushed than usual as she breaks out into a fit of giggles. Her hand leaves his face as she turns back around to refill her cup. LJ wipes her face lazily and clears her throat.

“Tommy, be careful baby,” Her voice is shallow in her throat. “Y/N, she’s a different kind of girl. The kind to break your heart.”

LJ spins the contents of her drink around in the cup as she sways. Tom watches her face drop, the look of knowing more but not saying it. Although he wanted to push, there was something eating at him to not do it. Maybe it was self-destruction, but her warning didn’t persuade him any different. He still wanted to talk to Y/N. Learn her story, more than the gossip LJ would have.

“How would you know?” Tom defensively says and grabs the cup from LJ’s hand. “Did you hear that from your dumb rumormongers?”

She doesn’t react right away. LJ hums as her hand squeezes the air the cup had once occupied. Her eyes are sad as she looks back at Tom, almost pitying him. Was this a sick joke?

“Behind every rumor is a little bit of truth. Even if it’s twisted, Tom,”

There’s a loud ringing and Tom snaps from his thoughts. It was the customer bell from the counter. Brant was nowhere to be seen, possibly in the back trying to get away from the heat. Tom shakes his head and walks up to the counter with his fake smile ready to greet whatever Creekview trash would walk up.

“Welcome to Milky-” Tom stops and gapes at the two girls standing in front of him.

It was Y/N, staring with huge eyes, and her friend from before who was blinking rapidly. The friend laughs awkwardly, elbowing Y/N, and signs something Tom has not yet learned. Y/N scatters to reply but keeps an eye on Tom while she’s responding. Tom raises his hand and tries to sign, ‘nice to meet you’ while mouthing his words. The friend cackles through her accent, signing something back.

“Sorry, I’m trying to learn,” Tom says while trying to sign.

“You’re alright. We’re just...surprised to see you.” Y/N says while simultaneously signing. “Tom right?”

His name on her hands looks just as beautiful as before. Tom nods and fingerspells Y/N’s name slowly. She smiles, nodding her head and motioning the sign, ‘right’. The friend coughs, pointing to the orange ice cream picture on the counter.

“Oh right sorry,” Tom shakes his head and nods. “Can I get you guys anything?”

“My friend here,” Y/N elbows her friend and fingerspells her name. “Tejas, she wants an orange swirl. I’ll take a Coke Diablo.”

Tom’s mouth feels dry and he can’t form a sign that would be correct in the situation. In his awkward mess of nerves, he stumbles away and into Milky to grab their order. He mumbled to himself as he makes their ice cream, his mind and mouth moving in two different speeds. What could he say to her? Maybe he needs to learn more sign before talking to her? It was a mess, all the little Toms in his head were setting things on fire. Next thing he knew he felt the cold, sticky mess of ICEE on his hand. He grabbed a towel and cleaned up the mess, setting himself straight before going back out there.

With an adjustment to his sunglasses and a mental pep talk, Tom walked back out to the girls. He handed them both their treats, earning a ‘thank you’ from Y/N and a condescending smile from Tejas. She was analyzing him, signing about him when he was right there. Although Tom wasn’t fluent, he could tell she was being snarky.

“$8.64,” Tom says and then watches Tejas sign something. “What is she saying?”

Y/N hands him a ten while signing back to her friend, contorting her face into a scrunched up expression.

“She keeps calling you ‘Hearing Boy’,” Y/N explains then fingerspells his name again. “She’s not very open to hearing people,”

“Why not?”

Y/N interprets the conversation which makes Tejas make a noise that was similar to honking. Her head shakes from side to side as her hands move rapidly, the ice cream swaying side to side and dripping down the cone.

“She says all you hearing people do is make fun of her.” Y/N slyly points behind Tom to where Brant has reappeared. “Your friend there has called her retarded since she moved here,”

Yet again Tom’s biggest weakness was who he allowed to be associated with. It wasn’t a surprise, Brant was a lowlife who would stoop to slurs like that. Tom felt a fire bubbling under his skin, god he wanted to knock him out but Brant was double his size and weight. He shakes his head and exhales.

“Brant is an idiot. A fucking div,” Tom hands Y/N back her money. “But we’re not all like that. Some of us want to understand Deaf people,”

Y/N watches his mouth move and smiles. Tejas looks lost and huffs against her ice cream. She could see what was forming and she was not happy about it. Tom met Y/N’s gaze and raised his hand to try to sign to her.

“Your hair...beautiful,” He signs slowly.

Y/N runs a hand through the dyed hair and giggles nervously.

“It’s fake...all for that party.” She responds. “Do you have time to talk right now?”

Tom immediately signs yes, not caring about if Brant would need his help or not with the impending rush. Y/N signs something to Tejas, who rolls her eyes and then watches her friend walk around the corner with car keys in hand. Tom leads Y/N to the other side of the building where the murals were.

“So, how Deaf are you?” Tom says while dragging his hand across one of the painted cows. “You seem to carry a conversation pretty well,”

Y/N feigns a smile, inhaling harshly as she leans against the wall and slides down. Her arms are crossed over her chest as she looks up to Tom.

“I was born hearing. I was in a car accident when I was a kid, lost the majority of my hearing.” She points to her ears and shrugs. “I can follow along because I know what sounds are. I can read lips alright.”

Her body tenses as she looks towards the beating sun. It was high in the sky, perks of the long summer days. She squinted and held a hand up to block the sun. Without a second thought, Tom hands her his sunglasses and steps into the sunlight. She motions a thank you and puts them on. Tom couldn’t help but smile, she looked better in his glasses than he did.

“So, what happened at the party, that kiss?” Her words are shaky which she masks with awkward laughing. “It was great. I just don’t think you know what you’re getting into-”

“Are you talking about the rumors?”

“Which ones?” Y/N pushes back the fading pink strands and sighs. “There’s so many now. I don’t even care anymore,”

“Someone said you’ll break my heart,” Tom watches her face fall slightly. “But I’m looking for someone to ruin my life anyways.”

Y/N laughs, but this time it's a real laugh though. It came from the bottom of her stomach as if this was the first funny thing she heard in years. Maybe not heard, but you know the specifics are hard. Tom laughs, switching her weight so he’s leaning towards her.

“I think you’re cool Tom, especially with that accent I can’t hear.” Y/N tries to wink behind the glasses but it doesn’t really work. “I just don’t want you to expect much because we don’t know each other,”

“Can I get to know you?”

Y/N looks to him in surprise. There’s a long pause though, she doesn’t speak but she reaches inside of her backpack to find something. Tom isn’t sure if she’s handing him her number or a restraining order but she pulls out a piece of torn out paper. It’s folded perfectly, doodles on the corners of little turtles with sunglasses. He opens it and at the top of the page it says in big letters, ‘Summer Bucket List’.

“What’s this?”

“You want to get to know me right?” She stands and pushes the sunglasses down the bridge of her nose so her eyes are seductively pooling into his. “Read this, then next time we meet I’ll tell you the plan.”

Y/N places the sunglasses on Tom’s head, her other hand rests on the middle of his chest. She can feel the rhythm, fast and all for her. There’s a moment where everything is still, their lips so close from touching but uncertainty clouds the moment. It wasn’t right, Tom was sure of that. If he wanted to kiss her it had to be lead by her. Y/N puts her backpack back on and steps away.

“I’ll see you around,” She says then signs something new. “This is your name sign for now okay?”

She shows him, it’s the sign for ‘hearing’ but with a T hand shape. He smiles and repeats it. A name sign, something only given by Deaf people to their friends and family. Tom took this as a way of her promising to see him again. The list felt heavy in his hands as he watched her walk towards a beat up Cadillac on the corner driven by Tejas.

“How will I find you once I’m done reading this?” Tom yells down the street which causes a few Creekview residents to stop and stare.

“You can try to find me on social media or,” Tom can see her smirking playfully. “Or let fate decide. Your choice.”

Y/N enters the car and that’s the end of their meeting. Tejas whips the car from the space and drives away. The whole interaction felt like a dream. It did not feel real in a conceivable way. Tom looked to the list and back to the corner she was standing at before to make sure this was not a figment of his imagination. He unravels the list completely and was surprised to see only five.

Swim in Creek Lake

Easy enough. That was one of the most popular destinations during the summer. Creekview had a lake that was swarmed by people who were either swimming, tanning, or canoeing. Tom had yet to go into the water though, he usually did a hike around the hills behind the lake with Harrison.

2. Watch a Drive-In movie

That was something he did not expect. Do Drive-Ins have captioned movies? Tom didn’t even know where they still had Drive-Ins. It had to be something he’d look up later.

3. Go to DeckFest

Deckfest? The Deckfest? Also known as the Coachella for people who can not afford Coachella. A music festival between California and Nevada, held in a desert, with lesser-known names. It was a mix of Rolling Loud and Warp Tour.

4. Win a fistfight

Y/N obviously had more layers that he was expecting. The fourth one made him laugh, folding the paper while smiling a little too much. Watching her fight? He’d pay money for that. Tom looks to the last one and drops a bit.

5. Find my purpose

Tom’s heart panged as he read it over and over. He related to the last item, something he needed to figure out by August also. In the time where he needs to figure out his major, his future, he was more interested in reading this Bucket List and talking to Y/N. Maybe it was master procrastination, or maybe it would lead him to his final destination. Either way, Tom had his roadmap for the summer, all starting with Creek Lake.

///

Taglist:

@screeching-student-unknown / @nyctophilicstyles / @captainbuckyy / @vintage-moonlight / @breadbudzo / @h-natale / @originalpinkpowerranger/ @happywolves81 / @drunkgreek / @iamnida95 / @sydthekidsloth / @spiderboytotherescue / @laureharrier / @starksparker / @madon566 / @nophunleague / @itsbrittneynicole / @hereiamhereigo

#tom holland imagines #tom holland imagine #Tom Holland fanfic #tom holland fluff #Tom Holland angst #college!tom holland #tom holland blurbs #Tom Holland blurb #Peter Parker imagines #Peter Parker imagine #Tom Holland x reader #tom holland x y/n #bucket list #2

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puckrmn · 4 years

Text

Nightcap || Padison

tagging: @puckrmn & @maddiemccarthy

location: Madison’s

time frame: May 29th, late night

about: Puck swings by Madison’s for a drink or two.

warnings: some light Puckerman bashing but lbr Puckermans suck

There was always something about hanging out with Puck. Their friendship was easy, effortless. It was just that imaginary line of maybe not just friendship they danced around that made things slightly complicated. Nevertheless, Madison welcomed any and all opportunities to spend time with him, even at 11 o'clock at night when she was usually thinking about bed instead. She had just checked on Gabe, leaving the door just cracked open when she heard a knock at the front door. Smiling wide, she welcomed Puck inside. "You gonna give me crap about knowing you again if I offer you whiskey to drink?"

Puck was wiped from a 12 hour work day, but that wasn’t going to keep him from hanging out with Madison. After locking up the shop, he made his way over to her apartment. He knocked on the door and stepped back as he waited her for answer. A smile spread across his lips when the door opened to reveal Madison standing on the other side. “Awww look at you knowing all my favorite things,” he joked as he stepped inside and pressed a kiss on her cheek as a greeting. “Whiskey sounds great though,” he added as he walked further into her apartment. “How was your day? Bummed you didn’t nap with me?”

Her smile softened at his kiss before closing the door behind them and moving towards the kitchen. "So maybe I pay a little bit of attention," Madison pointed out with a shrug. She gestured him to the living room as she went about pouring him a glass and getting herself a glass of wine. "It was long and tiring and yes, I could have one hundred percent used a nap, but it was good. I'm officially all caught up from vacation and a holiday so it still goes down as a win." She passed Puck his drink and sat at the end of the couch, feet tucked up underneath her. "What about you? Survive all day hungover?"

Following her direction, he made his way into her living room and dropped down onto her couch. “You missed out on a chance to nap with me in the back room. That’s sad.” Smirking, he accepted the glass from her. Swirling it around, he took a long sip. “The perfect ending to a long ass day.” He shifted in his seat so he could face her properly. “Hangover disappeared after my icee and nap...so I definitely owe you one, McCarthy.” He reached out and patted her knee. “Oh that reminds me. I got you something.” He placed his glass on the coffee table before shifting to reach into his back pocket. “Some company sent me these hella realistic temp tattoos. Thought you’d be the perfect guinea pig since you want ink but aren’t sure what you want.” He spread the options out on the couch between them.

"Devastating. I may never recover," she teased. Madison leaned into the cushions as she listened to him, propping her elbow up and letting her head rest against her hand. "After all the icees you've left on my doorstep, I'm pretty sure I owed you at least one in return. That doesn't break the 'pretty girl buying you food thing,' does it? Am I in cahoots keeping secrets from your mom now?" She chuckled as she took a drink from her glass, eyeing the tattoos he sat out. It was far from a secret that Madison wasn't an impulsive person, especially when it came to decisions as permanent as a tattoo. She debated and changed her mind a lot, so the concept of trying it out? She was intrigued. "So is this just stick it on and grab a washcloth like when we were kids?" she asked, picking a design out of the bunch. "Not sure it's quite the same when it's not a Puck Puckerman original, but I'd still try it."

“Mmm I dunno. I don’t think an icee counts as food. Ma doesn’t have to know about that,” he joked as he leaned over to grab his glass. Puck took a sip as he watched her look over the designs he brought with him. He shook his head at her question and picked one of the temporary tattoos up. “No water needed. Apparently you peel the white part off then put it wherever you want the design and let it sit there for an hour before pulling the clear part off. And then like over the next day it gets darker and lasts for two weeks. So like…the ones we did as kids on steroids.” He dropped the tattoo on the couch. “You wanna put it somewhere naughty?” he asked with a smirk.

She listened intently to his directions, it was simple enough and a cool experiment on top of that. Her eyes rolled playfully at his suggestion of placement. "Oh see now I get it. Less of gift, more of a ploy to get my pants off," Madison joked. After taking another drink of wine, she reached to rest her glass out of the way and picked up the rest of the tattoos to stack on the coffee table. "You pick," she offered, holding her picked design out to him. "Wherever you want, so long as I don't have to take off my underwear."

“Busted,” he joked as he took a sip of his whiskey. He placed his glass on the coffee table before taking the design she picked out. “Damn it. Well there goes my first pick,” he replied with a chuckle. He leaned back and looked over Madison slowly. “It’s gotta balance out the rest of your tats.” Puck scooted over the couch to get closer to her. He held up the design to her neck in the same spot where his was located. “We could have matching neck tats.” Smirking, he softly traced the spot with his fingers. “Nah. This is definitely an bicep or thigh design. I’m thinking bicep.” Puck placed the design in the spot he wanted and nodded. “See. Looks good. You want me to do it?”

"I'm totally badass enough for a neck tattoo," she insisted with a straight face, though it didn't take long before she was chuckling at her own statement. But her head tipped slightly at his touch all the same. A deal was a deal, after all. Madison's focus after his fingers, watching as he placed the design over her skin. "I think it's perfect," she agreed with a nod, reaching to tuck up her sleeve so it would stay out of way. She met his eyes for a moment and nodded. "Two week commitment. Totally ready."

“Two week commitment. Let’s do it,” he said. Puck focused on peeling the back off of the tattoo. Licking his lower lip, he carefully placed the ink on the proper spot, taking his time to even it out. “I think we’re good,” he muttered as he ran his thumb over it slowly. “Leave in on for an hour and then you can peel the plastic off.” He sat up and grabbed his drink. “I hope you don’t like it too much…it’ll put me out of business.” Instead of moving back to the other end of the couch, he stayed close to her and took a sip of his drink. “How’s little man? He singing Fleetwood Mac yet?”

"If I like it too much, I'll come have you make it permanent, obviously," she pointed out, lifting her arm a little to look over the design now that it was in place. "It would be cool if you could do these with your own designs though. Give people a test run, you know?" Madison shifted her attention back to Puck, comfortable being settled close to him. "No singing yet, though he's probably more likely to sing Baby Mine than Fleetwood," she pointed out. "He was difficult this week though, I think vacation threw him off his rhythm. Disney hangover or something," she said, huffing a little laugh. "Probably just misses you, honestly. It's been like three weeks since he's seen you."

“That would be really cool. Maybe I can see if they have like a printer or something where I can print out whatever magic temp ink thing this is,” he said as he ran his thumb over the plastic cover her arm once more. Finishing the rest of his whiskey, he placed the empty glass on the coffee table before leaning back into the couch. “No Fleetwood? Have you not been playing Rumours for him on repeat? How’s he gonna learn Dreams if he doesn’t hear it 50 times a day?” he joked as he draped his arm along the back of the couch. “I miss him too. If you ever need me to babysit let me know. Ya know if you need another night eating out Kenna without me around.” He nudged her leg playfully with his knee.

She rolled her eyes dramatically at his pseudo complaint. "It's not no Fleetwood, it's just dramatically less. He may only be five months old but he definitely has his favorite songs," she reasoned. Madison dropped her head at his comment about Kenna, biting her tongue as she mulled over a response. "It's a good scratch to the itch, you know? It's no drama, just... friends getting each other off," she explained. "But next time I promise, I'll make sure you're home so you can at least get a good audio out of it."

“Hey I get it. I know all about friends getting each other off. It’s a good arrangement as long as it stays that way. No feelings involved because that’s when shit gets messy.” He couldn’t help but laugh at her offer. “Yes. Please do. I need something for my spank bank,” he joked. Puck grabbed his empty glass and glanced at hers before standing up. Leaning down over her, he got centimeters away from her lips. “Or maybe next time you just ask me to scratch your itch,” he muttered softly before taking the glass out of her hand and standing up. “I’ll get us some refills.” Smirking, he made his way over to the bottles to pour them new drinks before returning to her side. Handing her the new drink, he leaned back in the couch once more. “How are things with Ben? Still trying to win you back?”

Her head shook at his comments, not surprised by them at the least. What did surprise her was the way Puck crowded in her space, teasing her with the idea of hooking up. She wasn't sure what the surprise of it was. They'd danced around the topic for months, conversations full of flirting and innuendo. Maybe it was how direct he was, feeling the warmth of his presence. Regardless, she was sure her reaction had been audible, and she could feel the heat in her cheeks as he walked away. Madison cleared her throat as if trying to rid the moment. She took the glass with a quiet thanks and took a sip as she shrugged. "I think so? Probably? I mean he's fine. He still comes over every morning and gets Gabe ready for daycare. We usually do a family dinner like one night a week. But if he's trying to win me back I just feel like he's going about it wrong? All we ever really talk about is Gabe and then he does something random like buy me a day pass for a spa. Like... gifts will win me back?" she mused, shrugging a little. "Don't get me wrong, I like gifts. But it's definitely not enough."

Puck took a long sip of his whiskey as he listened to her talk about what Ben had been up to. His fingers absentmindedly played with a strand of her hair. He couldn’t help but chuckle at Ben’s attempts to woo her. It sounded like something he would’ve attempted to smooth things over with a girl in high school. “Gifts are definitely good,” he agreed. “I think Ben’s biggest issue is that he still doesn’t understand what he did wrong. And if he doesn’t get what went wrong then how is he ever gonna fix it, ya know?” He shrugged as he took another sip of his drink. “But don’t listen to me. Because I’m always going to think you deserve better than a Puckerman.” Smirking, he wrapped her hair around his finger.

“It’s just gonna miraculously happen, obviously,” she explained, shaking her head of it. She pursed her lips as she mulled over his statement, drank from her glass again, then met his gaze. Madison studied his face for a moment before moving to tuck her hair behind her ear. Her fingers trailed down the strand until they met his, closing around them and settling their hands in her lap. “You say that a lot, you know. Almost as often as I hear you order whiskey. Better than a Puckerman,” she echoed. “And yet here you are. Ignoring your own opinion.”

He smiled softly at her as he let her pull his hand away from her hair and into her lap. Sighing at her words, he turned his hand over in hers to interlace their fingers. “Nah. You’ll always deserve better than a Puckerman. I see you with someone smart. Someone who like...graduated college. Has family money. And a boat...he definitely has a boat,” he joked as he squeezed her hand softly. “I’m just your stupidly attractive tattoo artist that you like to look at when you need a lunch buddy or drinking buddy obviously.” Lifting their joined hands, he pressed a kiss to her knuckles. “And I’m always happy to oblige,” he added with a wink. Dropping their hands back into her lap, he took another sip on his drink before moving her arm to look at the tattoo. “It’s definitely getting darker.”

Her thumb slid slowly over the back of his hand as he described her supposed destiny. "A boat, huh?" she mused with a smirk. "Is that in hopes of me texting you like I did on my last boat trip?" Madison frowned slightly at his over simplification of their bond. Yes, that was how they spent most of their time together, but it was more than that, wasn't it? "Better be careful with that word 'buddy,' some people might confuse it for you saying we're *friends*," she warned playfully. Her eyes followed his to the darkening ink and nodded. "You know if all tattoos were this painless, you'd probably have a lot more business."

Puck nodded eagerly at her accusation. “Oh 100%. You should always tell me when you’re wet...even if it was a dare,” he responded with a smirk. A chuckle fell from his lips as she brought up his aversion to the word ‘friend’. “Puck Puckerman has no friends. Obviously. Don’t tell your brother he’d be crushed.” His hand squeezed hers softly as he finished off his drink. “If all tattoos were that painless then I wouldn’t be into tattoos at all. I like the pain. Pain is fun,” he said as he leaned down and bit her shoulder playfully. “It’s getting late. I should get out of your hair,” he muttered as he placed a kiss on the bite mark. “Walk me to the door?”

She could only shake her head at his replies, her laugh all but a scoff. "You might be the only person who'd get me to keep secrets from Mason," she told him earnestly. Madison dropped his hand and swatted at him when he bit at her. "Ow hey! I opted for painless today," she reminded with a chuckle, gesturing to the design on her arm. She pushed Puck back gently and stood up, placing her glass on the coffee table before reaching for his hand and tugging to pull him to his feet. "Such a long way, you might get lost, huh?" she teased, leading the few steps over to the door. "Will I see you tomorrow at Kass' thing?"

“Oh don’t act like you don’t also enjoy pain,” he joked back as he let her move him. Taking her hand, he stood up and followed her to the front door. “I mean I am pretty dumb. I’d get lost in a fucking closer probably.” Puck nodded his head at her question. “I’ll be there. Not playing but I’ll be there to drink her alcohol and eat her food.” He opened the front door and leaned against it for a moment. “We should do this more often.” Leaning back into the apartment, he cupped her face and softly pressed his lips against hers. “Night, beautiful,” he muttered into the kiss before pulling away to leave.

"Party pooper," she teased, "you and I could have paired up and solved the whole thing." She looked up at him as they stood in the doorway. Madison knew it was time to let the night end and her pillow was certainly calling her name, but it didn't mean she wanted it to. There was surprise at his kiss, but she didn't shy away from it, letting her hand reach up to hang gently on his wrist and hold him there if just a moment longer. Licking her lips as Puck pulled away, her eyes met his and she nodded. "We should definitely do that more often," she agreed. "Goodnight, Puck."

#para #sbpara #para: nightcap #para: madison

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bibipolarity-blog · 5 years

Text

A few things I’ve learned since learning I’m bipolar:

I have no idea what I want from one moment to the next. It changes with the wind. The core of things stays the same, but the journey to getting it and the decisions leading to the grasp get thrown in a hat and tossed around for a new choosing every hour or so.

I’m what they call “extremely rapid cycling.” I feel like it’s a medical term for “crazy as fuck,” and possibly the APPROACH WITH CAUTION sign hanging in front of my zoo habitat. I have bursts of energy, creativity, and emotion that can last a few days or even just a few hours. Those turn into mixed episodes where I'm irritable, anxious, and sometimes volatile. My threshold for handling anything more than the basic necessities of breathing and feeding myself is nonexistent. Then comes the crash.

Sometimes the crash is just because I had an extremely manic afternoon. That can look like all smiles, hyper, ADHD to the core, horny, argumentative—anything stimulating, put a check mark by it. But then, I’m exhausted to my core. My bones are made of cement and my blood is sludge trying to make canyons in rocks, but only building up until my body gives in and my eyes shut. Maybe I’ll sleep for an afternoon, or maybe I’ll sleep for three days. For every action, there is an equal and opposite reaction. The same goes for my brain waves. However high the peaks, equally low will be the valleys.

I can’t keep track of money to save my life. I’m good with numbers, with seeing what goes where. But give me paper in my hand and somehow, I’ll have spent $300 at 7-11 on an icee and honey roasted peanuts. Don’t ask me where the other $297.82 went. There’s always a hole in your pocket somewhere.

Medication has saved my life on more than one occasion. It doesn’t make the roller coaster stop, but it makes it easier to hang on. The highs aren’t so high, the lows aren’t so low, and I can make sense of the days before they blend into each other. Some of the not-so-fun side effects, however, affect my life almost as bad as the disease in itself. I become apathetic, lethargic, and I never feel full. I eat the pantry and cry as my jean size goes up another number. When I was on meth, I was a size 4. My wife says it was unattractive on my body. I miss it every day compared to what I see in the mirror now.

Mental illness tends to run in the family, but when I go into my family history, the only thing I can say is, “well, they’re crazy, and that’s all I’ve got.” But it’s hard to ignore when you’re as flighty as your grandmother, as harsh as your aunt, and as loose as your grandfather when he was making children on every continent. It’s not that my morals have changed, I just crave sex that isn’t tied to emotion. I crave adventure to open my eyes to more of my closed off world. I crave a release from the constant emotional chaos going on around me, and can’t bear to break myself any more for the tragedy unfolding in front of me. All the pieces of my heart that can break have broken by now; there’s simply no more left to give to the cause. There’s an emotional hurricane happening in my head at any given moment, whether I show the emotion or care for a current situation or not. Anything outside of that is simply too much.

I procrastinate therapy at the expense of my sanity and my relationships for reasons I can’t fully process on my own. I avoid making another appointment as much as I hesitate to answer the phone when my –lunatic- grandmother calls. One of the many things I need to bite the bullet on and just do, but one of the ways that operating as a functioning adult is simply too much to handle.

There is a light at the end of the tunnel. I’m a semblance of stable when I take my medications on time each day as prescribed, get enough rest, move around during the day, and eat a good meal. The constant merry-go-round slows down, and I can make sense of one thing from another. I know how to walk away when I feel a situation is too much for me to handle (to quote Foghorn Leghorn, “You’re exceeding the limitations of my medications!”). I have hope for the future and even find energy to make some of it happen. If you or someone you love rides the bipolar coaster, hang on tight. It gets better from where it began. Give it time. It has to get better.

#bipolar #late night musings #write it out #some form of therapy

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crazedlunatic · 6 years

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“I love you.”

“So you’re meeting his family?”

“His dad and one of his three older brothers. His mom and the others won’t be in town until tomorrow.” Nick said, sitting next to Kurt at the table.

“Are you nervous?”

Nick shrugged one shoulder, reaching for a piece of toast. “Not really.”

“You’re not nervous to meet his father and three older brothers? Meaning he’s the baby of the family?” Kurt asked.

“No. I don’t really get nervous about the kind of stuff.” Nick said, tucking his legs underneath him and sitting Indian style on the chair.

“You are something else.” Kurt shook his head.

“They’re either going to like me or they won’t. I don’t know why I should stress about it… I hope they like me.”

“Everybody always loves you.”

“Not everyone.” Nick looked down.

Kurt reached over, running his fingers through Nick’s hair. “What are you thinking about?”

Nick swallowed, not looking up. “Nothing.”

“Don’t think about him, Nick.”

“I can’t help it.” Nick swallowed again. “Sometimes I can’t sleep because I think… about him.”

“How… How bad was it?”

“I just… I’ve never felt so… stupid or insecure or worthless in my life.” Nick blinked rapidly. “Or hideous. N-Nothing was good enough, daddy.”

“He was a bad person.” Kurt said, standing and then leaning down, wrapping his arms around Nick. “He was wrong. You’re very smart, you’re beautiful, and you matter. Don’t let anybody say you don’t. You matter so much.”

“Cody makes me feel like I do.” Nick took a deep breath.

“I really like Cody.” Kurt whispered, stroking Nick’s hair. “Blaine does too. We all do. He’s been so good for you throughout all of this.”

“I think he could be it. The one.” Nick pulled back, looking up at Kurt.

“Really?” Kurt smiled.

“Yeah.” Nick smiled. “Even if that sounds crazy.”

“It doesn’t sound crazy. He brought you back. It’s like before you left most days.”

“Yeah…”

“You have to understand that… that boy wasn’t… Nick, you were abused. You were abused and under stress and… you lost yourself.”

Nick reached up, wiping his eyes that were suddenly teary.

“It’s going to be hard to get over that. Soon it will be easier. It’s only been a little over a year since you got home from recovery.”

Nick nodded, standing as the doorbell rang.

“I love you, baby.” Kurt hugged him tightly.

“I love you too. I might be home before you go to bed. I’m not sure.” Nick sniffed, hugging Kurt back.

“They’re going to love you.” Kurt murmured in his ear before kissing the top of his head.

“Thanks. I’ll see you later.” Nick wiped his eyes and went to open the door.

“What’s wrong?” Cody instantly asked.

“I’m fine.” Nick smiled, kissing his cheek.

“No, really. What happened?”

“I was thinking about Andrew and stuff.”

Cody frowned and pulled Nick into a hug.

“I keep having dreams.”

“Sleep over tonight.” Cody whispered.

“Your family…”

“They’re staying in a hotel.” Cody pulled back, looking him in the eye. “Stay over.”

Nick pulled Cody closer, burying his face in his chest. “Okay.”

…

“Did you tell your dad you were staying over?”

“Yeah. Well, Daddy. He thought it was a good idea… he just said to make sure I eat all of my meals and snacks until I get home.”

“Good.” Cody plopped on his couch next to Nick. “Do you want a snack?”

“Maybe in a bit. I’m still full from dinner.” Nick leaned over, head on Cody’s shoulder.

“You’re so quiet… Are you sure you’re okay? Are you comfortable staying here? I thought it might help, but you can say no. I’ll take you home. Or I can stay with you?”

“No, no, no. It’s fine.” Nick reassured him. “It’s not that… I just feel… sad. I would be starting to move back to UCLA for the spring semester of my second year right now.”

“I’m sorry.” Cody reached up, running a hand down his arm.

“I don’t know if I’m ready to go to NYU next year. I just… Think I aimed too high. I still get really stressed out over things that I shouldn’t get so worried about.”

“You don’t need stress. Wait another semester and see.” Cody said instantly. “I don’t want you to get sick.”

“I’m having trouble gaining more weight.”

Cody frowned.

“I’m trying to get back to 160 but it feels impossible.”

“Are you at a healthy weight?”

“By BMI is a lot better but I went from 160 to less than 120… I feel like I need to get back up to 160.”

“I think the important thing is being healthier. You’re not working out as much and doing soccer.”

“So it should be easier for me to gain weight.”

“I don’t know. Maybe a big chunk of it was muscle?”

“Maybe. I guess I could call my godfather and ask him later… but I feel like he’ll tell dad.” Nick rolled his eyes and let out a frustrated sigh.

“You’re really stressed, aren’t you?”

“Sorry. I’m done.” Nick clapped his hands together and smiled brightly. “What are we going to do, Parker?”

“What do you want to do?”

“I want to see some drawings.”

“Okay. Well, I have a surprise for you.” Cody stood. “I’ll be right back.”

Nick stood, going into the kitchen and grabbing a bottle of water while he waited. Of course Cody would never drink water, but he’d taken to buying them for Nick whenever he was over—and he tended to be over every hour of the day that Cody wasn’t interning or in class.

By the time he made it back into the living room, Cody was sitting on the couch with a black notebook in his hands. He looked up, seeming anxious.

“’Sup, dude?” Nick grinned, tightening the top on the bottle and plopping on the couch.

Cody rolled his eyes. “This is a cheap couch. If you hurt yourself, I’ll feel horrible. I wish you wouldn’t do that.”

“I think you’re saying I have a big butt.” Nick laughed as he sat the bottle of water on Cody’s coffee table coaster. “Plus, you do it all of the time.”

“if I hurt myself on it, it’s my fault. I bought the thing… and also, shut up. You don’t have a big butt.”

“I thoroughly enjoy the fact that you talk back to me now.” Nick grinned.

“It’s more interesting than me just blushing at everything.” Cody laughed.

“What’s my surprise?” Nick asked curiously, tilting his head.

“It might be lame, but don’t laugh. It will hurt my feelings.” Cody said very seriously, handing him the book. “I kind of made… made you a sketchbook.”

Nick opened it to the first page, looking like a little kid on Christmas.

“It’s some sketches and paintings and notes and doodles. It’s kind of—well, very lame.”

“When did you start this?” Nick asked, hands tracing the drawing on the first page.

“I started the… well, the first day we had the icees in the park. I didn’t know what it would end up being…” Cody admitted sheepishly.

Nick turned a few pages, turning the sketchbook to the side to read a note that was scribbled on it.

I’m in class and I’m thinking about you. I think about you a lot. I want to ask you to do something but I’m afraid you’ll say no.

Nick looked up and smiled. “You would get so flustered whenever I’d come in for my appointments. I know you weren’t doing the signing in, but I could see you back there sorting stuff… obviously, because I always waved.”

“Leave me alone.” Cody laughed. “I’m shy around people I don’t know.”

“I thought you were hot.”

“You’ve said so a few times.” Cody laughed again and took the sketchbook. “You can’t have it yet.”

“Why?” Nick asked, looking highly affronted.

“Because only half of the pages are filled.” Cody gave him a small smile.

“Well can I look at what is filled?”

“If you don’t read the notes with me right here.”

“Oh, I’m reading them.” Nick carefully took the book back, flipping through the pages and giggling every once in a while at a picture or a note.

“Are you going to look at all of them?”

“Shh.” Nick said, not even looking up.

Cody reached up, running his fingers through Nick’s hair and watching him. “I think I’m in love with you.”

Nick looked up quickly, snapping the book shut. “What?”

“I am in love with you.”

“R-Really?”

“I’ve been trying to move slow because I know you don’t need extra stress and that can be stressful, but I can’t hold it in anymore. Nick, I’m in love with you. I don’t remember a time being with you that I haven’t been in love with you. You are all I think about when I wake up and when I go to bed. I want to be around you all the time.”

“Wow.” Nick said, hazel eyes wide.

“You don’t have to say it back.” Cody said quickly. “But I just wanted you to know how I feel about you. I think you’re perfect and I love you.”

“I love you too.” Nick looked into his eyes.

Cody licked his lips nervously and then giggled a bit.

“Stop being so adorable!” Nick laughed, hugging him. “I love you so much. I wish I could spend every minute with you.”

“I’ve almost said it every time I’ve seen you for the last four months.” Cody admitted when Nick pulled away and sat next to him.

Nick leaned over, kissing him. “Then it sounds like you’ve got four months of making up for that, Cody Parker.”

“Are you going to tell your parents? This isn’t going to set you back or anything, right? Or stress you out?” Cody asked nervously.

“Yes, no, and no.” Nick said, looking him in the eyes.

“And you’ll tell me if it ever starts to?”

“Yes.” Nick smiled. “I’ve wanted to tell you since the day I met met you. Not the day you assaulted me because that was rude.”

“Oh God, please stop bringing that up. I still get anxious when I think about it.” Cody covered his face. “Ugh.”

“I wouldn’t have wanted to meet you any other way.” Nick said, very seriously “I love you.”

“I love you too, Nicky.”

#this is actually old #i was bored and work and wrote a lot though #definitely won the award for NOT staying on task today #wbuct drabble #wbuct prompt

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scarabsi · 6 years

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Match Cut (tododeku, BNHA Summer Exchange 18)

heyyyyyy so here’s the fic I wrote for the @bnhasummerexchange event, for @rutilatedho! I hope it’s enjoyable in some way or other, and if not, at least it amused ME.

[Read it on Ao3]

Shouto liked to think of himself as a decently balanced person. He understood his faults, he paid attention in classes sometimes, he knew some of his classmates’ names. Perhaps sometimes he’s not the most composed or reasonable person in the room, not the brightest or the quickest on the uptake, but that was inevitable when you’ve grown up with a tyrannical abusive twit of a father and what could Shouto be expected to do about that?

He appreciated summer for the chance to freely exercise his right side. In other times of the year it concerned others if he maintained crystalized ice over an entire half of his body, potentially risking frostbite, but in the summer there was little anyone wanted to do about it but join in.

Not to mention, it’s ridiculous to entertain the idea of his right side causing frostbite. He knew better than to do that; it’s his own ice, after all. He would save the frostbite for a particularly annoying day of school he wants to skip and not a day sooner.

“Dathhhhs pitty neat Tododoki, but it don’t tchangth how it tasthe,” Kaminari mouthed into Shouto’s forearm.

“Natsuo insisted I’d done it before,” Shouto protests. “Swear on my pops, you keep your tongue there another five minutes and the froyo flavor I ate should come through.”

“That’s cheap as hell, Todoroki, you hate your pops,” Uraraka chimed in from her front row seat to the spectacle.

“I love my pops?” Shouto squinted at her, confused. “I can’t make them the same with my quirk. The new brand mixes in a smooth milk and creme with the strawberry to really bring out the tartness of the flavor. I would protect my pops with my life.”

“Eyy!” Kirishima cried from his position a little higher up Shouto’s arm than Kaminari, “I think I tasthed thomething dust dow!”

“Whaaat? Theriouthly?” Kaminari said.

“Eyah, thorta. . . thavory?” Kirishima guessed, eyebrow raised. “Ait, ait, no, ait. . . no, dat’s thweat.”

“Yeah, I asked them to discontinue that flavor,” Shouto scoffed. “Nasty as hell, catch me dead before I touch it again.”

“What’s going on?” said Midoriya from the living room entrance.

A shiver went up Shouto’s spine, and Kaminari and Kirishima fell to the ground with twin yelps as their tongues were suddenly thawed free.

“Todoroki says he can make his ice into different flavors if he eats something before,” Uraraka explained to a bewildered Midoriya, who absently dropped his schoolbag in the middle of the hall.

“Yeah, can you imagine Midoriya? Free icees?” Kaminari waved enthusiastically. He grabbed Shouto’s right arm and ran a hand up the length of it. “It’s too bad it takes so long! Does it take a lot of concentration?”

“Yeah,” Shouto replied absently out of reflex, which was wrong because it shouldn’t take much concentration at all. He watched Midoriya fumble his hands all around his hips.

“Fascinating,” Midoriya said, retrieving a small notebook from his pocket and flipping to an empty page. “Can you give me more details? What kinds of flavors is it possible to replicate? Can you replicate foods not traditionally served in ice or can you replicate any flavor regardless of suitability? If the flavor is related to foods you take into your body, is the flavor secreted from your pores or spun out of the molecules of the air?”

Shouto shrugged.

Midoriya nodded, appeared to scribble something, and continued without missing a beat. “How were you able to discover such a property existed? Does the flavor contain traces of the food it comes from? Is it possible to recreate nutrients? This could be very useful in times of emergency and may be interesting to know for the future if we find ourselves in a situation short on food. . .”

Uraraka laughed. “Oh, Deku, there you go again.”

Kirishima groaned and Kaminari whined out, “Come on Midoriya, it’s way too hot for this right now.”

“Is it really that hot?” Midoriya asked, a surprise lilt to his voice. He laughed and ran a hand through his untidy hair. “I guess it is! I’m used to training my body through all weather conditions so I forgot to pay attention.”

Shouto could smell the fragrance of sweat and musk from Midoriya’s hair as he ruffled it, far overpowering whatever soap he might have put into it once upon a time, long before his training session. Now that he mentioned it, Midoriya had clearly been spending the day in the dormitory gym; the unfashionably plain clothes he was wearing clung to his skin when he moved and there were still small signs of condensation in parts of his face and hair.

“Wanna have a go?” Shouto found himself saying.

“I’m sorry?” Midoriya said.

Shouto blinked; he was a foot away from Midoriya, right arm proffered prominently under Midoriya’s nose. A droplet of sweat from Midoriya’s wild forest-green hair dripped into the palm of Shouto’s hand, and he thanked his luck that he hadn’t extended his arm prone like a noblewoman awaiting a kiss.

He could hardly believe what had just left his mouth. Perhaps the heat was getting to his head after all, despite his liberal use and abuse of his right side. He had to say something else to rectify his reputation with his friends at once.

“Wanna tongue up my arm?” Shouto corrected.

It took until English class the next day before Midoriya spoke to him again. He appeared by Shouto’s desk as soon as Present Mic left the classroom, his expression contrite but his body language strong and determined.

“H-hey, about yesterday,” Midoriya said, his voice shaky and his cheeks pink, “I’m sorry for running up to my room so quickly. It was just, uh. . .” he trailed off, cheeks flushing more, until his eyes seemed to glaze over.

Shouto waited, but Midoriya seemed to be done, so he shrugged. “I don’t mind. It did seem like you really needed to shower.”

“It-- it seemed like I needed to shower?” Midoriya squeaked.

“Yeah,” Shouto said, a little confused about the strange reaction. “You were covered in sweat. Like, everywhere. You literally dripped sweat onto me.”

Midoriya laughed strangely. “That’s right! I did do that! I’m so sorry!”

“Don’t be sorry,” Shouto said with a soft smile. Midoriya definitely had nothing to apologise for. He could still remember the sensation of the warm droplet hitting the palm of his hand, something that had come out of Midoriya’s face and dribbled past his lips and fallen off his sweet little chin. Later in the evening he’d even found himself putting his palm against his mouth, as though he would be able to smell or taste some trace of Midoriya from it hours later. He felt his fingers tingle now from the memory of it.

He twisted his head to look back at Midoriya, who stretched an arm behind his head. There were some popping sounds as he stretched his right arm, and then he shook out his hands and picked his special All Might controller back up.

“You should never be sorry for needing to take care of yourself,” Shouto said, mostly to himself. Midoriya quirked his head over, his large eyes bulging out of his head.

“Wh. . . what?!” he croaked, and then his eyes darted around and he seemed to hit on a conclusion. “Oh, because we’re playing fighting games in this heat? It’s honestly fine! Even if you weren’t here,” he gestured to his room closet, where boxes of wrapped merchandise were stuffed to bulging, “I have a limited-edition All-Might electric fan that’s a great help when I start to get dizzy.”

Shouto frowned and put down his own (much more generic) controller. “I didn’t realize you let yourself get dizzy. I’ll take care of that.” He raised his right arm and focused on gathering a thin layer of ice onto it.

Midoriya watched Shouto’s arm in a slight daze, and gave no reaction to the incremental cooling of the room. He slowly moved toward Shouto until he was practically bent over Shouto’s right arm.

Shouto chuckled. “You’re hotter than I thought,” he said.

“I might need to take care of myself,” Midoriya mumbled. Shouto wondered whether he heard him correctly because he couldn’t make sense of it. “It’s really okay?” he asked.

“Course,” Shouto said, because he has never taken offense to his friends treating him like a walking climate control center, and takes pride in being able to provide such a necessary service that no one else can give, and then Midoriya leaned his head down and put his tongue on Shouto’s arm.

Instantly the room got a lot warmer.

Midoriya’s tongue darted quickly in small swipes, then travelled languidly up Shouto’s arm. One last lick leapt lightly off the top of Shouto’s shoulder, and then Midoriya hung there, his face beside Shouto’s, eyes lidded, tongue still peeking shyly from his lips.

As Shouto stared, Midoriya’s eyes focused onto his own, and then that tongue and those lips made a short reunion as Midoriya rolled them together.

“As promised,” Midoriya growled, his voice much deeper than before, “I’m not sorry.”

“I think maybe I am,” Shouto muttered frantically to himself through the watery echoes of the shower. He pressed both palms against himself and hissed from the shock of the conflicting sensations.

There was no way that ducking into the bathroom at full speed had been an appropriate or subtle reaction. It had taken him about five wet heart-pounding shower minutes to realize what had probably happened: Midoriya had taken him up on yesterday’s offer and had wanted to play the Flavour Ice game.

He let out a single bittersweet laugh as a novelty All-Might shampoo bottle made uncomfortable eye contact with him. It turned out his no-good father had been right all along and joking around with friends could indeed ruin his life, but in somehow the strangest most contrived way possible.

The others seemed to agree when Hagakure walked into the living room and found Kirishima teaching Bakugou a trendy new game he had discovered online. She prematurely screamed at the top of her lungs because she mistakenly thought something lewd was going on but, Kirishima assured, the strange way he had pinned Bakugou with his pelvis was a new wrestling move he was trying to perfect and the tongue-on-tongue contact was worth extra points.

Everyone else was loudly skeptical of this excuse, especially Bakugou himself who was so offended by the story he stormed out without saying a word, but Shouto was excited.

“What are the rules?” he asked Kirishima. “Is it fun?”

Kirishima’s eyes squinted and shifted from side to side. “Uh,” he droned. “Uhhhhh. I. . . yes? Yes.”

“It looks just like kissing. What makes it different from kissing?” Shouto asked.

Kirishima turned pale and laughed. “It’s. . . uh. . . crap, I know exactly how Bakugou would answer that. Oh, crap. For real.”

Shouto frowned and put his hands on his chin in thought. “Could you demonstrate the difference for me somehow?” he asked, and Kirishima almost turned blue.

“Todoroki, he was obviously lying!!” Uraraka said around her tears of laughter. “He made a really terribly-constructed excuse for him and Bakugou being nasty in public, and then doubled down on it because he never knows when to quit!”

“But what if that’s what he wants you to think?” Shouto insisted, leaning forward to give his table slam a little more dramatic weight. His Lunch Rush tray slid a centimeter in a suitably dramatic fashion. “I know what it looks like, but can you imagine how fun it would be if it was real? And he and Bakugou are hoarding the fun new game to themselves?”

“I regret enrolling in this school,” Midoriya whispered from beside Uraraka, his face nested into his arms.

Uraraka patted Midoriya half-heartedly, but her eyes were gleaming at Shouto. “So did you make him kiss you or something? Are you serious?”

“He refused,” Shouto sighed. “Hence, hoarding.”

Iida had dutifully moved Uraraka’s milk far out of her reach so that she would stop squirting it out of her nose throughout the conversation, and her hand was groping the lunch table subconsciously as she snorted. “You know what you could do instead?” she goaded, and Iida’s eyes flashed in alarm.

“What?” Shouto asked, a little warily if he were being honest.

“You know, I think maybe Deku would be interested in hel--”

In a flash of green lightning, Uraraka and Midoriya had vanished. A quick glance around found them balanced on a ledge close to the ceiling, where Midoriya seemed to be frantically shaking her.

Which Shouto hated, because what on earth did Hell have to do with Kirishima’s trendy new game Shouto still wanted to explore being real, and why on earth was Midoriya so bothered about it?

“No quirks in the school cafeteria!” Iida shouted dutifully at his dumb friends. “In addition, balancing on that ledge is highly dangerous and you’re setting a horrible example for the first years!”

“How are you like this and still friends with those two?” Shouto wondered.

“That is an excellent question that will no doubt be asked variously at the funeral for my early death!” Iida answered in the same dutiful voice, punctuating with a salute for good measure. Shouto raised his juice box, because he sure as hell could toast to that.

“Oh, thanks,” Midoriya said, reaching down to grab Shouto’s juice box. “I hate getting dehydrated in the middle of a set, these leg straps are a pain to get out of.”

Shouto smiled as Midoriya returned the juice box and continued his inverted sit-ups. Rather than deal with tucking in his shirt or having it fall into his face all the time as he hung upside-down, Midoriya preferred to circumvent the shirt altogether and it was a feast for the eyes. Each time Midoriya folded himself upward it was extremely clear which specific muscles were making it happen.

“And that’s roughly 200, I think,” Midoriya sighed as he lowered himself one more time, skin glistening in the dimmed gym lights. “Help me down?”

“Of course,” Shouto replied. He grabbed a small step stool and reached for the straps. “I’m steady.”

“Great,” said Midoriya, and wrapped his large, warm arms around Shouto. Shouto undid the straps on his legs and stood straight as Midoriya gracefully leveraged himself back to the ground.

“I think I get a big workout just from making sure I don’t drop you on your head,” Shouto laughed. “Is it really safe to exercise like that?”

Midoriya shrugged, then bit his lip with a small blush. “To be honest, I could easily do it by myself.” He gestured vaguely toward the juice box, and Shouto handed it to him. He sipped it with a sunny smile. “I like it better when you’re here, though. Everything is better when you’re around.”

Shouto felt like a boiling teapot, watching that smile, and fanned himself. “I. . . I need ice. Do you need ice?”

Those large round eyes lit up. “I would love to try one of your icees, if it’s not too much trouble.”

Ohhhh, that made Shouto even warmer.

He held out his right arm and Midoriya gripped it gently, pressing a cheek against it with a soft sigh.

“I. . . I think I should mention,” Shouto pushed through the embarrassment and the slight croak to this voice, “the whole thing about flavoured ice was a lie. I was pranking those guys into freezing their tongues and it got out of hand.”

Midoriya glanced up and their eyes met. Midoriya had a small smile on his face as he moved his face higher up Shouto’s arm, and they watched each other as Midoriya gripped Shouto’s shirt, turned his head and pressed a kiss to Shouto’s bared shoulder.

“I thought so,” Midoriya said, eyes soft, voice soft.

A warm shiver rushed down Shouto’s arms and made his fingertips dizzy. “I didn’t mean to trick you,” he said.

“You can’t trick me, Todoroki, how long have we been friends now?” Midoriya laughed. He put his hand over Shouto’s on his waist, and when had Shouto moved his hand there? “Did it get out of your hands, Hand Crusher?”

Shouto broke their heated eye contact to hide the dramatic flush to his face. “I’ll make that my hero name if you’re not careful. I’ll really do it. It will be legal and everything.”

Midoriya chuckled and put his forehead against Shouto’s. “It would suit you, since you’re so handsy.”

Shouto wrapped his other hand around Midoriya’s waist and they rolled on the ground, Shouto showing Midoriya just how handsy he could really be. They were halfway across the room when Shouto exhausted himself and settled for a hug, and Midoriya laid there and let him.

“Everything is better when you’re around too,” Shouto said.

Midoriya turned his head to smile sunbeams at Shouto. Shouto tightened the hug and buried his face into Midoriya’s neck.

“I’m glad you exercise with a spotter,” he admitted. “I’m glad you take care of yourself now. I hate seeing you hurt, and I hate even more when you hurt yourself.”

Midoriya tensed, and then put his hand into Shouto’s hair and stroked it gently. “I know,” he said. “I’m sorry.”

“Don’t be sorry,” Shouto said. It was hard for him to move his arms when they were wrapped around and under Midoriya’s body, but he rubbed Midoriya’s back with his thumb. “I’m not sorry so don’t you be. Be happy you’re healthy, like I am.”

“I’m happy that you’re happy,” Midoriya said. “That was always what mattered the most.”

It wasn’t reassuring to hear that, but the tremor in Shouto’s sigh wasn’t just from concern. He searched for something to say, but couldn’t find the words, so they lay there quietly for a while, listening to the hum of the fluorescent gym lights.

“Hey, Shouto,” Midoriya said.

Shouto hummed.

“Do you want to try figuring out how to get those extra points?” Midoriya said.

“I can’t believe you actually pulled off that crazy move at the last moment!” Kirishima cheered and whooped as Izuku made a perfect, cinematic superhero landing, green-lightning laced crater and all. “How did you figure out how to get us those extra points?”

“I noticed Kaminari had left himself wide open after his third discharge,” Shouto said proudly, clapping a hand on Izuku’s shoulder. “But I can’t believe he understood what I meant when all I said was ‘Den’.”

“‘Den’ meaning Kaminari Denki, and also the conductivity between his quirk and the discharge from my quirk, right?” Izuku said, slinging his arm around Shouto. “Isn’t it obvious what I was supposed to do?”

“You guys cheated!” Kaminari called over from his team. “I should have poached Todoroki for my team! Who let you guys work together?”

Bakugou pushed Kaminari’s head down with a grunt. “We lost. They did a better job. Get over it.”

“Oh, that’s rich coming from Mister Muzzle!” Kaminari cried, clutching his head and surreptitiously checking his hair.

Kirishima glanced toward the other team and threw a thumbs up. Bakugou answered with a thumbs down.

Shouto rested his head against Izuku’s neck as he watched his classmates congratulate and complain about each other, feeling softly content. “Maybe it would have been more fair to join Kaminari’s team,” he said.

Izuku laughed. “You’re such bullshit, Shouto.”

#tododeku #bnha summer exchange 18 #rutilatedho #fanfiction #my hero academia #boku no hero academia

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imusedtoitipromise · 6 years

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I feel like I’m generally pretty good at beginning posts but this one I’m struggling with. There’s no easy way to broach the subject or ease into it, so I guess I’m just going to go for it.

I had an abortion

I’m in no way shape or form embarrassed or upset with my decision. In fact, I knew that this was the absolute right choice for me. What I am worried about is that it’s a very touchy subject. I know that different people have different beliefs and I think I’m mostly afraid of upsetting someone else. At the end of the day, it was my decision. I’m happy, I have no emotional attachment to the situation, and I can only hope that writing about my experience and help others. When I set out to find information about both procedures I had a very hard time finding personal stories and experiences.

You know how when you get that feeling? The feeling that maybe something is off, something bad is going to happen, or you know that your gut instinct is right? I just knew. My period is very regular. It always has been, ever since my fist one when I was 10. My best friend and I generally have very close cycles. We do this dumb thing where we send each other the same emoji 3 times with confetti. This means, “hurray! I got my period, I’m not pregnant.” Except neither of us had sent or received our special coded message. I messaged her and she said “oh yeah, I just forgot to send it. I’m 3 days in.” That’s when I knew.

That evening was filled with anxiety. I suppose it started to make sense why I had been so damn tired recently. Why I was a bit more sensitive than normal. Which, I suppose does fluctuate due to the whole Bipolar 2 situation. The next day was Saturday. Now I usually spend the weekend at my partners house. I usually come over Friday after work and then I leave Sunday afternoon. That Friday I just happened to be too tired from work and due to it being a 40-50 minute drive I just stayed home. The next day I went to his house. We planned to go to the Zoo. I felt like I was more quiet than normal. It was also very hot outside. The other zoo guests were terrible people in general. (I ended up alerting their guest services area that there were some teenage boys harassing the goats, if that gives you an idea of how people were behaving.) We fed the giraffes, walked around, looked at most of the animals and then left.

Before I arrived at his house I stopped at a grocery store and bought a few things, among those was a boxed pregnancy test, which contained two tests. The box advertised that it gave early results, which I’m sure is very helpful if you’re trying to conceive. After we got home from the zoo we kind of hung out. I was very quiet and I’m sure I had a concerned look on my face. At some point he asked if I was okay. “Soo my period is late and I think I might be pregnant.” I was absolutely terrified of telling him. Now, he and I had discussed what we both wanted in our lives, politics, beliefs, and what not in the past. We’re more or less on the same page for everything, including not wanting children. I knew he would have the same feelings about abortion that I did. I was afraid of him deciding he didn’t want to be with me anymore. I was afraid of him deciding he was done immediately and that was that. I told him I bought the test and that I was afraid to take it. He said it was going to be okay.

I sat on the bed for a few more minutes and said “okay well... I guess I should go do the thing.” I went to the bathroom, read the instructions 3 times, and then took the test. I was too afraid to look, so I flopped on the bed and I asked him to look for me. I feel like at this point I already knew. He walked in to the bathroom and once he returned he very calmly said “there’s two lines.” This means the test was positive. It was confirmed that I was pregnant. I told him about my fears and that I was afraid to tell him. He held me close and said that none of those things would happen. He took the news so calmly and it was such a huge relief. We played a few video games, cooked dinner, and then I took another test several hours later. It came up positive immediately, as in less than a minute. I came back to the living room area, sat on the floor, and just cried. He held me, assured me everything was going to be okay, and then we began to look at our options.

Because it was now Saturday night we couldn’t make any phone calls so we did all of our research online. We found out that there were two options- Medical (pill) and Surgical (surgical procedure performed by a doctor in an office) After reading about both online I decided that I wanted to have the surgical procedure. The pill had way more potential and longer lasting side effects. The stories I had read were not very positive and due to my already high anxiety, I decided I would feel safer at an actual doctors office. The procedure would be over 1,2,3 and that was that.

I spent all of Sunday sleeping with the exception of a few hours of being awake for dinner. We decided to make a list of all of the things to ask my insurance company and Planned Parenthood. I slept probably until 3 pm on Monday afternoon. I ended up calling PPH first, they said that they do take insurance, to call my provider, and ask about elective abortions. The insurance told me they covered the procedure. I called back PPH, gave them my insurance information, and booked my appointment. They told me that they would call me 24-48 hours before the procedure and give me the total cost.

I ended up staying at his place until Tuesday. I came home told my roommates what was going on and let them know that he would be staying with me for the weekend and that I would be taking a medical leave. My appointment was scheduled for Friday at 1:20pm. The week felt like it crept by, being constantly tired didn’t help the situation, either. My partner came over Thursday night. I barely slept and I was beyond nervous. However, there was a problem, we never heard back from PPH about the cost. We decided to call them. It turns out they actually didn’t accept my insurance so the procedure would cost $595. That was money that neither of us had to spend so we decided to make a few more phone calls and do some more research.I also set up my short term disability and medical leave. We ended up finding a clinic that was much cheaper even though they didn’t accept insurance. Our new appointment was set for 10:30 the following day, which was a Saturday.

Saturday morning I woke up and was beyond nervous. We arrived at the clinic and there were a few protesters. I wasn’t phased by them even though they were relentless. One of the women said “oh your mother must me so proud of your decision.” my response was “your mother should have swallowed”. I was quite pleased with that. We made it inside and it was PACKED. I began my paperwork. 10 minutes after signing in they called me back for a urine test. They never told me what order things were going to be happening in. Every place that offered these services said to plan on being at the clinic for roughly 3-5 hours. I returned to my paperwork, nervously filling it out. 10 more minutes and I was called back again. This time they were taking my blood pressure, heart rate, my iron levels, and checking to see if my blood was Rh negative or positive. My blood is Rh positive (if you have negative you have to have a short in order to have a successful pregnancy) my iron levels were good. My blood pressure is always fantastic, thankfully. Though, they had to check it twice because my heart rate was roughly 128bpm due to the anxiety.

I returned to the waiting room finishing my paperwork, I turned it in to the window and they told me to have a seat. An hour later they called me back for the ultrasound. They couldn’t find anything because the pregnancy was so early, around 4-5 weeks. The ultrasound technician made me feel pretty stupid. I also found out my uterus is flipped downward which also made it harder to detect anything. She told me that I would have to have a vaginal ultrasound or I could come back in two weeks.

I went back to the waiting room and then I was called back again. I assumed this is when the procedure would be happening. They would not let my partner come back with me and this made my anxiety even worse. Fortunately this was just the consultation. The nurse that helped me was amazing. She was so patient and kind. She explained EVERYTHING that I had questions about. She really went above and beyond by taking her time with me. After talking with her I decided that I would like to have the Medical (pill) procedure, especially because my partner could not be with me for any of the scary parts. The next step was to wait for the doctor to arrive.

They told us the doctor would be coming from a city that its roughly an hour and a half away at most. We decided to go and get something to eat. I wasn’t very hungry so we just went to get some donuts and an icee. We also got to stop at a very important memorial that commemorated a horrible act of hate. It was my first time seeing the memorial since the event two years ago. It really filled my heart that there was an abundance of love there. You could just feel it.

We arrived back at the clinic 30 minutes later and the doctor still hadn’t arrived. It was probably close to 2:30. To spare you all the details we waited, and waited, and waited, and waited, on the doctor. I wasn’t seen until 5:30, which is fine. Only 7 hours after the initial appointment. I finally see the doctor. He does the ultrasound, finds the pregnancy, and he told me how the pills work. He gave me a note excusing me from work for 3 weeks, due to the post procedure instructions. I took the first pill, which stops the pregnancy and was instructed to take the other pills to expel everything 24 hours later. I was also prescribed percocet for the pain. The doctor said because it was such an early pregnancy, the abortion would feel like a strong period. He prescribed me birth control and asked if I would like a copy of the ultrasound. I said yes, took my things, and was on my way.

We stopped to get food, went back to my partners house and I just fell asleep. I’ve done a lot of sleeping in the past week and a half. I ended up sleeping through the night. We ended up leaving his house around 3pm. We stopped at the pharmacy, dropped off my medical leave paperwork, and then made our way to my place.

I cleaned up the kitchen and my room. I also put my bedding in the wash. Around 5pm I took the percocet and at 5:30 I put the misoprostal in between my cheeks and my gums and let them dissolve. They tasted like bitter, chalky, paper. Within 25 minutes was in excruciating pain. I can absolutely say that it was the worst pain I have ever experienced. I went to the bathroom and told my partner that I wouldn’t be locking the door in case I needed him. 5 minutes after I had been in the restroom I messaged him and asked for water. At this point I was sitting on the toilet doubled over in pain. I thanked him for the water and he left. A few minutes later I messaged him with the word “help”. I was in so much pain I couldn’t speak. The most I could stammer was “I’m sorry, I’m sorry.”

He brought a small portable fan into the bathroom and made sure it was blowing on me. He sat on the edge of the tub and held my hand. The door was left open and my sweet dog came in and placed his head on my arm. He also didn’t leave my side. I ended up getting off the toilet and laying on the floor. I was whimpering in pain and trying to breathe through it the best that I could. I eventually got up and made it into my room. I curled into a ball on my bed, continuing to breathe and whimper through the pain. I also asked for a cool wet wash cloth for the back of my neck and that seemed to help. He got me another percocet, made sure I had something to drink, and made sure I was as comfortable as I could possibly be. I ended up going in and out of sleep.

The evacuation process did not being until about 3 hours after I had taken the misoprostal. I mentioned that I wish I had something bland like crackers. I eventually decided on wanting soup so he left to get me some. Shortly after he left the pain got VERY intense. I went into the bathroom and that is when the evacuation process began. The cramps came back in waves and while they were strong, they were nowhere near as bad as they were in the beginning. I’m sure taking more percocet helped with that tremendously. He was gone for roughly 20 minutes and by the time he returned the miscarriage had happened. I laid back in bed, he brought my fan in, and I slept for a bit longer.

I woke up about 30 minutes later and relocated to the couch to eat my soup and we watched some TV to take my mind of everything. I was finally feeling much better, but I still felt very hazy. Around 1:30 he made my bed, made sure I was comfortable and we went to sleep. He woke me up the next morning, made sure I took another percocet, and then I fell back sleep.

I woke up several hours later and was finally feeling more like myself. All in all I have no emotional attachment to the abortion itself. I have no remorse, no guilt, and I 200% know I made the right decision. I’m glad we had this option available. Even though it was painful for a few hours I’m glad I went through with this. I think if he could have come with me and I was further along I would have chosen the surgical procedure. The clinic itself was just okay. I wish the doctor would have been more punctual but I’m glad it’s finally over and done with.

This whole experience ended up being very positive for me. I think a great deal of it had to do with having a partner who supported me every step of the way, didn’t leave my side, and made sure I was as comfortable as possible. Also knowing that this was exactly what I wanted to do made a big difference as well. As far as post procedure goes, I’m not having heavy bleeding or extreme cramping. If anything I’m happier and I feel like a stronger person as a whole.

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i-write-shakespeare-not-disney · 7 years

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Fragile Hearts Ch. 2: Don’t Let Go

A huge thanks to @hidge-resource for this fucking beautiful edit they shared which I accepted as a commission for a new chapter!

Remember you can commission me for continuations with just 5 dollars!!! <3

Click the OP if the READ MORE link does not show!

Click here for chapter 1

It was all Matt’s fault. That’s what Pidge had decided on, and that’s what she would continue to believe. If Matt hadn’t made all his stupid little comments, then Pidge wouldn’t be reading into everything like she was now. It had been so comfortable at first, and now she felt like she was constantly on her toes, constantly nervous or giddy.

Hunk had come over that first weekend and caught up with Matt, while she got ready for their outing for the day. They wanted to watch a movie at the mall then go bowling at an arcade. Pidge noticed she was putting more effort into how she looked, and she stared at herself in the mirror in disappointment.

This was Hunk. He’d seen her bed head, seen her sick, seen her in PJ’s, and hungover, and beaten and bruised from battle. Then again, most of those had been when she was just a teenager. When she was still growing into herself.

But this was excessive. She hated eyeshadow and lipstick. She could never figure out how to properly shape and shade the eyeshadow, and she always had one lip bow too high or too low, and having glossy, colorful lips just looked weird on her. With a frustrated sigh, she washed her face and too the gunk off her face. Just a bit of eyeliner and mascara with a quick swipe of lip balm. That would be enough.

She brushed through her waves on one side of her head and ruffled it so it was frizzy, but it wasn’t flat against her skull. There. That was more like her.

She left the bathroom, and Matt bumped into her in the hallway. “There you are! Geez, with the time you spent in there, I expected more makeup,” he teased.

But Pidge was not in the mood to be teased. With a blush, she narrowed her eyes and shoved her brother aside. “Oh, fuck off, Matt.” She went to the room he’d leant her and changed into a dark green, long-sleeved shirt and ripped skinny jeans before yanking on her combat boots.

There had been a time when she had been obsessed with dresses. She wore one whenever she could, and she had an array of choices. Colors, and bows, and flower prints, and knee length, and calf length, and meant for summer, or spring, or fall, or winter. But having to give that up to pass for a boy in the Garrison changed that.

Her calves were no longer smooth and soft in dresses, but bulky and scarred. Her arm muscles were large and it made her look bulky in dresses instead of graceful. She still wore them from time to time, but now she just felt more comfortable in jeans and a shirt.

There was a slight knock, then the door opened. Hunk’s was peeking into the room and his eyes fell on Pidge where she sat on the bed. She was suddenly aware of the bra she’d left on the floor and the PJ’s she’d discarded in one corner and her open suitcase.

“Hey, nerd.” Pidge rolled her eyes. “You okay? I heard you snap at Matt.”

She blushed again and shook her head. “Yeah. It’s dumb. I was just kidding.”

The door opened wider and Hunk sat beside her, making the bed dip and making her slide closer to him because of it. She kept her eyes down, pretending to look through her phone. “Pidge, I know you. And there’s a difference in you snapping at someone as a joke, and actually being upset. You’re upset.”

She looked at him and raised an eyebrow. “Maybe I’ve changed over the last handful of years.”

Hunk’s brown eyes were steady on her, and Pidge noticed an increase in her heartrate and she hated it. She felt warm and nervous and that was so stupid because this was just Hunk, her best friend, and she’d battled aliens before, so a boy should not be having this effect on her.

He gave her a warm smile and shook his head slightly. “Nah. You can change your hair and your clothes style, but you can’t change what makes you you. And Pidge? You’ve had that difference since I met you.” She furrowed her eyebrows and huffed, pursing her lips. “What is it?”

“It’s stupid,” she muttered, kicking at the floor. “I get that I’m not the girliest girl in the universe, but… I wish it wouldn’t be my thing. If I want to try makeup I don’t want to get teased for it. And I know he was joking, but sometimes, just sometimes, I want to look pretty! Is that such a crime! Or what, since I was a paladin am I not allowed to want to be a normal girl on Earth? It’s like-”

Hunk cupped her face in his hands, and she gasped so loud she nearly choked. Her face warmed up embarrassingly fast, but Hunk didn’t seem to notice. “Pidge, breathe.” She couldn’t. She really, couldn’t. “I don’t think Matt meant to upset you. He probably thought it was a harmless joke that wouldn’t bug you. Yes, you can be as girly or non-girly as you want. Having been a paladin doesn’t define you, it just makes you badass.” She chuckled and managed to get a handle on her breaths. His hands were large, and if she hadn’t known Hunk, she’d have thought his hands were destructive and rough.

But they weren’t. They were soft, gentle, warm, holding her face like she was a prize he didn’t want to mar.

When he pulled away, she blinked away the shock and looked down.

“I’ll talk to him,” he offered. “Now, finish getting ready so we can have a great day and I can get you to try the best cheese and queso appetizer ever.” He held out his fist and Pidge smiled, connecting hers with his lightly. He got up and went to the door. Before he left he turned and smirked. “By the way, as your friend, and someone who has seen you going off of two hours of sleep and five cups of coffee, I can assure you that you’re beautiful no matter what. Makeup or no makeup.” He shut the door and Pidge’s mouth fell open.

Her heart was pounding in her ears and she couldn’t help the smile that began to spread on her face. She fell back on the bed and buried her face into her pillow, letting out a hysterical giggle. She turned back onto her back and bit her lip as she stared at the ceiling.

Okay. So she had a crush on Hunk.

***

The theater Hunk took them to was one of the nicest Pidge had been to. There were red cushioned seats that had buttons to push the backrest back like a recliner and even had the footrest come up. She could be laying down and watching the movie! Plus, they were able to reserve seats so they could sit together. She sat between the two men and sipped on her Icee as the trailers passed. Matt was munching on popcorn and Hunk was eating a severely overpriced hotdog.

Pidge had decided that she would not let herself get nervous anymore. She used to spend nearly all day, every day with Hunk. This was no different. Right?

Still, somewhere along the first thirty minutes of the movie, Pidge found herself leaning closer to Hunk. Hunk seemed to notice and move the armrest up. And though Pidge felt embarrassed, she figured he didn’t find it different from when they used to sit in the lounge and have so-called sleepovers with the other paladins and the Alteans. She always leaned on him. Always ended up falling asleep on him. It was a habit that went unbroken even after about 5 years.

So instead of freaking out, blushing, or reading into it, she simply settled herself against him with her legs curled under her as she watched the movie and munched on Whoppers.

Hunk was so warm and familiar, that it wasn’t long before she felt her eyelids droop despite the action happening on the screen. She liked the movie, and she wanted to know what happened, but she hadn’t slept well that night, and Hunk was so… so warm.

The next thing she knew, Hunk was nudging her awake gently, and she gasped as she sat up, blinking rapidly to erase the sleepiness from her face. “Easy, tiger,” he said with a smile.

“Oh, I feel very confused,” she groaned. “I didn’t expect to fall asleep. What happened? Did the clown die?”

Hunk chuckled and stood up, which was when Pidge realized Matt was gone. “Matt went to the bathroom. I let you sleep until the credits were over.” She sighed and ran a hand through her hair. “If you want, we can come watch it again. And maybe you won’t fall asleep.”

She laughed and followed him down the stairs. “I really doubt Matt would want to watch it again just because I slept through most of it.”

Hunk opened the door for her and shrugged. “Well, maybe he doesn’t have to tag along that time. It can just be us.”

“Oh.” She walked out and chewed on the inside of her cheek. “That sounds fun. If you don’t mind rewatching.”

“As long as- well, as long as you don’t fall asleep next time.” Pidge chuckled and nodded, staring at the floor.

Did he ask her on a date? Or was that just him being nice? Hunk was very nice. But… it could be like a date? How would she know? What if it’s not and she thinks it is? Or it is, and she thinks it’s not? Oh, man she hated how complicated this was.

Matt ended up regrouping with them near the entrance and smirked at Pidge. She gave him a warning glare before they piled into Hunk’s car to get to the arcade. As she sat in the back, she felt her phone buzz. She opened an image text from Matt and frowned as she clicked it.

An image of Hunk on his phone while Pidge laid against him, head dipped and arm hooked with his glared her in the face and she squeaked as she put her phone down.

“You okay?” Hunk asked, looking at her through the rearview mirror.

“Uh-huh. Just a hiccup.” She sighed and leaned against the window, ignoring Matt who she knew had a smug look on his face.

Once they arrived at the arcade and changed into the proper bowling shoes, Pidge went to check the bowling balls. One of the workers steered her toward the lighter ones, which Pidge tried not to feel offended by. Most people didn’t know she was stronger than she looked.

Hunk set up the game and ordered some chips and queso, mozzarella sticks, and a round of sodas. Pidge was up first for their game and she took a breath as she went up. It was simple. Just roll the ball. The right angle, the right force, and she could get them all.

She pulled her arm back and rolled, frustrated when the ball rolled too quickly and off to one side, knocking over only one pin. She grunted and went to pick up Matt’s ball which was a little heavier than hers.

“Need some help?” Hunk asked as she focused in on the pins.

She shook her head stubbornly and felt the weight of the ball to have an idea of how much force she’d have to use for it to get a better speed and maybe not roll away. “I can figure this out. It’s just physics, right?” She pulled her hand back and rolled again, this time hitting a few more pins, but not quite the one she wanted. She growled, but returned to her seat.

“What’s with the face?” Matt asked.

“Classic Pidge-Face.” She raised an eyebrow and looked over at Hunk who was holding his own bowling ball. “She used to make that face any time she was trying to figure something out. If she was trying to reboot a druid, or enlarge the barrier, or just figure out an equation.”

“I have a classic face?” she asked, crossing her arms. Hunk laughed and turned away so she looked at Matt in confusion. But was just sipping on his soda, smirking. “Shut up,” she hissed, kicking his foot. “Stop it.”

“Okay, okay. It’s just…. Heh. Really adorable.”

“I’m going to strangle you in your sleep.”

Matt snorted, but before he could answer, they were interrupted by the celebratory beeping and congratulatory, robotic message on the scoreboard screen. Hunk had managed to score a spare. Pidge scoffed and stared at him as he walked back.

“What?” he chuckled. “I offered to teach you!”

Pidge stuffed a mozzarella stick in her mouth and grumbled. She would figure this out. It was juvenile, she knew, but she had to. For the sake of her pride.

Matt was next, and he managed to knock down all but one.

The three of them took turns for another three rounds, each time with Pidge cursing the bowling pins much to both Hunk and Matt’s amusement. In between turns, they stuffed their faces and poked fun at each other when they failed to knock the pins down. Pidge stayed off to the side when it was Hunk’s turn. He’d managed the best throws each time, and she knew she had to figure out how the hell he did it if she was going to finally knock every pin down. He raised an eyebrow at her and she waved her hand, encouraging him to continue.

She watched as he rolled and tried to figure out what she was missing. She had the foot placement. She knew she had the strength. Hunk prepared for his next roll and that’s when she saw it. The wrist! Hunk made a point to keep his wrist straight, whereas Pidge knew she tended to flick hers off to one side.

Now she was anxious for her turn and she couldn’t help her giddiness as she waited on Matt. Hunk kept glancing at her, and Pidge knew she was making a fool of herself getting so worked up over bowling, but she couldn’t help it.

When her turn was up, she took a breath and narrowed her focus. She pinpointed the pins she needed to hit, decided on the angle, and drew her arm back. She let the ball go, making sure to keep her arm straight. It felt like time had slowed just to tease her.

And then all the pins were crumbling down and there was beeping and robotic voices, but Pidge was already jumping up and down victoriously. She turned, and jumped up high enough to hug Hunk tightly, still laughing joyously. He made a small noise of surprise before hugging her and lifting her off the ground.

She realized what she’d done and managed to let go before turning to Matt to hug him and give herself a moment to let her blush recede. She put a hand her hip and smiled. “Told you I could figure it out.”

“Oh, I had no doubt,” Hunk said with a smile. “Nerd.”

“Um, as far as I was aware, all three of us were the nerds,” Matt said, munching on a chip.

“Yeah, but Pidge is the biggest nerd of us all.”

She stuck her tongue out at Hunk and crossed her arms. “You’re just mad that I got a strike before you.”

He raised an eyebrow and gave her a smirk that honestly made her stomach flip. “Don’t get too cocky. Look at the scores.”

She frowned and turned to see the different scores. Matt was losing. But Hunk was still winning. “God damn it!”

***

Later that night they returned to Matt’s apartment. Matt fell asleep on the couch in the middle of a movie and Pidge made some coffee to compliment the cookies Hunk decided to make for them while they sat at the small, square dining table. Pidge was in her PJs, plaid pants and a large shirt, and she’d washed her face so she felt a little more awake than she should’ve felt at nearly one in the morning.

“What are you doing on Christmas?” Hunk asked. Pidge had completely forgotten about Christmas. She shrugged and sipped her coffee, breaking one of the buttery cookies in half. “What about New Year’s?”

“I actually forgot those existed,” she admitted. “I sort of stopped celebrating them…. After spending the holidays in our way on the castle ship, being back and away from everyone… Having it be just me and Matt….”

Hunk furrowed his eyebrows. “What about your parents?”

Pidge swallowed and sighed. “Dad was really weak after the working camp we found him in. He’d been in a coma for a year and then he passed away. My mom got really depressed, stopped eating, wouldn’t take her meds, and… she sort of withered away to nothing too. All I have is Matt. So the holidays aren’t really my favorite time. Matt and I usually just watch movies and eat take-out all day. And for New Year’s, we open some wine and toast to surviving. And that’s that.” She shrugged and poked at some crumbs on the table with her finger. “It’s not the same as it was on the ship. With Lance waking everyone up because we had to have our Christmas. Or the time we made the lions shoot fireworks.”

Hunk laughed softly. “I remember that. Then we got attacked and had to fend off the Galra ship with fireworks.” Pidge smiled and nodded. “Remember when Keith and Lance had their first New Year’s as a couple? They did the whole kiss and then no one could find them till the next morning.” She nodded. “I know where they were.”

“Where?”

Hunk leaned forward and whispered. “They were doing it in the red lion.”

“No!” Hunk laughed and nodded. “Oh my God, those things were sentient!” She shook her head and smiled. “Remember when Keith got his first Christmas presents?”

“I had never seen him cry before and it freaked me out a little bit,” Hunk said with a nod. “I remember the first Christmas we had with Matt there. He hooked us up with a holograph TV and weird alien movies.”

Pidge smiled and chewed on more cookies as she thought back. “Those were good times. You always made a huge feast, and… it felt like home for a bit. Especially with Lance singing Christmas songs and teaching them to Coran. It felt like we were a family when we couldn’t be with ours.”

She didn’t say much else, but she figured she’d said enough. If she was honest, she hated the holidays. It made her feel lonely. It reminded her of both the blood and team-based families she’d lost. It made her nostalgic for a time that had left her traumatized if only for those moments where they came together.

Hunk scooted his chair toward her and tilted her chin up to him. “Hey. Don’t cry.”

She blinked in surprise and realized a few tears had spilled over as she reminisced. “Shit. Sorry.”

He smiled and brushed away her tear with his thumb. “You don’t have to apologize.”

She nodded and murmured, “I miss them.” And just like that, she was crying more profusely, with Hunk hugging her tightly if even slightly uncomfortably in their positions. She leaned into him, hiding her face in his chest as she cried. She knew Hunk knew the statement was ambiguous. She missed her mom and dad who wouldn’t get to see her graduate next spring. She missed Keith and Lance and Shiro and Allura and Coran who had given her the family she’d never expected. She missed those days when she was still a kid and had more possibilities set out for her. She missed a time when she wasn’t traumatized, didn’t suffer through nights filled with nightmares, days filled with loneliness and being ostracized for who she was.

“Me too,” he whispered.

Hunk spent the night. He slept on the couch and Matt managed to shuffle to his bed. Pidge tossed and turned for a while before falling into a fitful sleep full of dreams of lost friends and family. But no nightmares. At this point, she wasn’t sure there was much of a difference.

A few days later it was Christmas Eve and Pidge had spent her day at a park. Matt was putting in some extra hours, and Hunk was busier than ever at his bakery because everyone wanted cakes for Christmas. It was chilly and Pidge spent her time starting on some readings for her spring classes. She stayed there until Matt passed by to pick her up.

“Are you in sweats? In public?”

She looked down at her sweatpants and shrugged. “It’s not like anyone here is going to see me again in another three weeks.”

He sighed and took a detour turn. “Oh, sister dearest.”

“Where are we going?”

“To a clothing store! Hopefully we’ll find one that open right now.”

“What? No! Matt, I don’t have the money for shopping right now, come on-”

“It’s on me. Merry Christmas.” She tried to protest again, but Matt turned up the radio and shouted, “I love this song!” She rolled her eyes and sat back.

She texted Hunk to ignore her brother’s obnoxious singing. How’s the shop?

Really busy. I’m in for a long night.

Yikes! At least it’s something you love doing. I’ll stop distracting you. 😊

She put her phone away and gave Matt a tired look as he stopped at a department store. They got out of the car, and he threw an arm around her shoulders as they walked into Macy’s. “So, red or green dress? What am I saying you’re the green paladin!”

“No, no, no. No dresses. I look bulky in dresses.” Matt tried to protest, but she shook her head. “I am willing to give you free reign, but dresses and heels are out of the question.”

He grumbled and pulled her along into the women’s section, pulling a knitted red sweater that stretched and a green sweater that was looser and had gold trimming. “You gotta look nice for Christmas, Katie.”

“We always sit on the couch watching movies and eating Thai, what are you talking about?”

He shrugged. “What if Hunk comes over? What if we go out to some fancy restaurant tonight? Or tomorrow?” She glared at him for two seconds before snatching the sweaters from him and going to the fitting room. She was happy that he didn’t laugh at her at least.

In the end she opted for the loose green sweater, a pair of black skinny jeans, and she refused to stop wearing her combat boots. Matt added a light gold scarf and smiled. She scoffed and nudged him. “I still don’t know why you and Lance never got along. You’d have had fun going on shopping sprees and hitting on people.”

He chuckled and put the clothes along with a jacket he’d gotten for himself and put it on the conveyor belt. “Well, first it was the whole Allura thing. Then he just didn’t like that I was close to Keith.” He shrugged. “I’m surprised he never kept up with you or Hunk though. I thought you were a group in the Garrison.”

“Yeah, we were. But once we got to Earth, we just kind of… all had to go our own ways without always remembering the fighting and the war. Hunk and Lance once got captured and tortured, so I guess it was even hard for them to stay in touch.” She shuddered as she recalled the event. As Matt paid and walked her back to the car, she began reliving it. Matt and the rebels had been out on a mission. Keith had been with the Blade. Lance and Hunk were supposed to scout an enemy warship and they were found out.

Without Voltron, it was harder to find them quickly. When they had, they were both battered and beaten. It had broken Pidge’s heart to see them both like that. So see the two boys who had always made her laugh look so afraid and empty.

She still remembered how ruthless she’d been in attacking the druids that came after them when the Galra realized their prisoners were freed. So ruthless, she’d broken her wrist and still kept fighting because no one touched her friends, no one had the right to make Lance stop smiling or to make Hunk stop laughing, and no one had the right to hurt them so much they could barely talk.

She felt a hand on her arm and gasped as she was pulled from her memory. Matt looked at her worriedly, glancing back at the road enough to not crash. “You okay, Pidge?”

She nodded and swallowed the renewed anger she felt. “Yeah, I’m good. Thanks.” He nodded and squeezed her arm.

“I’m gonna get some gas. You should go see how the outfit looks altogether.”

“I can do that at home,” she whined.

Matt sighed and leaned over to ruffle her hair. “Pidge, do you ever just do as you’re told?” She raised an eyebrow at him and he rolled his eyes. “Humor me, sis. Stop being difficult.” She huffed and took her clothes.

She was certain that Matt was planning something. A sense of dread came over her as she imagined Matt dumping her at a restaurant to coerce her into a date with Hunk. God, she hoped he wasn’t playing matchmaker.

She left the bathroom once she’d changed and marched right up to Matt. “You’d better not be plotting anything.”

“What?”

She crossed her arms in her new warm sweater and huffed. “I just…. Don’t….” She grumbled and leaned against the car. “You’re not trying to set me up with Hunk, are you?”

Matt smiled, but it wasn’t teasing. “You do like him.” It wasn’t even a question. And maybe it was supposed to be weird to talk to your brother about these things while leaning against an old Volkswagen and being surround by the bitter scent of petroleum.

But Matt was all she had. And he never underestimated her. And he was a good brother. She managed a nod and sighed. “I didn’t. At least, I don’t think I did. Then you started making these comments and then I was getting nervous and…. It sucks. Because he’s my best friend and I don’t want something like this to get in the way of that.”

“I don’t think it would. Hunk isn’t that kind of guy. Besides, what makes you think he doesn’t like you back?”

She shrugged and tugged on a strand of her hair. “I dunno. He doesn’t act different. And we’re so used to each other it’s like… you can’t even tell what’s habit and what’s, like, a sign.” She kicked at the ground. “I just got him back. I don’t want to lose him because I got a stupid crush.”

Matt threw an arm around her and pulled her into a hug. “Well, don’t worry. I’m not trying to set you guys up. But I do approve of him. If that matters.” Pidge laughed and leaned her head on his shoulder. “Come on, let’s get home before we reek of car gas.”

They got back in the car and Pidge actually felt better in the sweater because it was warmer and the sleeves were long enough to reach her palms. The jeans also fit like leggings so they were smooth and comfortable. Matt had pretty good taste.

As they got back to the apartment, Pidge could smell an array of foods in the hallway from the neighbors that were preparing Christmas Eve dinner. She wondered if the delivery guy from the takeout place would remember them. They always ordered from the same place, and Pidge swore it was the same delivery guy each time. Matt opened the door as Pidge let her mouth water at the scents in the hallway. It’d been so long since she had ham and turkey and casserole and homemade gravy and pumpkin pie….

“Pidge.” She snapped back to reality, and as she walked in, the scents hit her even harder, giving her a whiplash of nostalgia. She froze as her brain processed Hunk in the kitchen, so familiar with an apron and an oven mitt. Then she processed the several dishes laid out along the counter, the Christmas tree that hadn’t been there earlier that day, and the gifts under it.

She couldn’t find words. She couldn’t even breathe. Part of her wanted to collapse right there and start crying like a child. She stood like a statue, one hand at her mouth, her eyes flitting around taking in the holiday feel of the apartment.

Finally Hunk walked toward her and gave her a timid smile. “Merry Christmas.”

“You said you were busy at the bakery,” she whispered.

He shrugged and tilted his head. “Tiny white lie. I wanted to surprise you.”

She flickered her eyes to her brother and saw him smiling knowingly at her. She looked back at Hunk and broke into a smile as she wrapped her arms around him. “Thank you. So much,” she managed to say past the knot in her throat. Her parents weren’t here. Neither were the Alteans or the other three paladins. But Hunk was. Matt was. And after so long of nothing, this little bit of something was everything.

“Okay, I’m starving, can we eat?” Matt called from the kitchen as he looked around at the different dishes. Hunk laughed and nodded, keeping an arm around Pidge. She’d be lying if she said it didn’t make her blush. “Also, I spent time picking out her outfit, so compliment it.”

Hunk raised his eyebrows and looked at Pidge. “It’s true. He dragged me around the store throwing different clothes at me.”

He laughed heartily, one of Pidge’s favorite sounds. “Well, you look amazing, Pidge.”

“Thank you!” Matt called back. Pidge bit back a smile and noted a slight blush in Hunk’s cheeks too. Was he embarrassed? Nervous? Was Matt onto something when he said he might like her? How the hell was she supposed to figure it out?

Despite her crush on him, sitting to eat dinner felt natural and comfortable. It was filled with laughs, a bit of math as Pidge recounted her classes in MIT, and lots of catch up. After dinner, they sat in the living room and watched Friends, while Pidge and Hunk snickered each time one of those “take a shot” moments came up. Before long, they were struggling to keep their eyes open, and Matt and Pidge went to their rooms. Matt had given Hunk some blankets so he could set up on the couch however he pleased.

It had been a wonderful Christmas Eve.

When Pidge fell asleep, she was used to fitful sleep. She feared deep slumber because that always meant nightmares she struggled to wake from. That night was one of those.

There was a part of her brain that knew this was a nightmare. That knew she wasn’t really in danger. But that part was smothered by the overwhelming fear that came from the sounds of druid steps, ion blasters, and screams. She could hear the sickening squelch and thud of those who’d been blasted and left for dead. She could hear the other paladins screaming to form a defense.

Before Pidge could even think to reach for the green lion’s controls, the setting changed and she was facing Haggar. She knew what was coming, but she couldn’t move. Her body writhed as the witch’s purple magic shocked her and lifted her to throw her against a wall hard enough to make her nauseous. She felt her body contort in impossible ways. She couldn’t breathe. She felt like the walls were closing in. She could feel Haggar’s claws digging into her. She could see her friends being beaten down by the guards. She saw the rebels’ dead bodies strewn on the floor.

It wasn’t until she felt herself fall that she managed to wake up, jerking back in bed. Her cheeks were stained with tears and her hands were shaking. Her breaths shuddered and as she gasped and tried to do what her psychologist told her to do. She took in the feeling of the blankets over her leg, the thin stream of light seeping through the blinds, the sound of the AC blasting through the vents. Slowly, she managed to take steadier breaths and shakily got out of bed. She let the sound of her feet padding over the carpet to keep her grounded as she made her way to the kitchen.

She grabbed a small plastic cup and filled it with sink water.

“Pidge?”

She gasped and the cup fell into the sink, splashing her. “Sh-shit!” She put a hand to her head and took a breath.

She felt a hand on her shoulder and she turned to look at Hunk. She’d forgotten he spent the night. He looked in her eyes with furrowed eyebrows and used his thumbs to wipe her cheeks. She didn’t have the energy to blush. She just shut her eyes and fought back more tears. “They’re not real anymore. We’re safe,” he said, hugging her tightly. “God, you’re shaking. Come on.” He refilled her water and walked with her to the couch, helping her keep her hands steady.

He didn’t ask her what she dreamt. He didn’t ask if she wanted to talk about it. He knew that the last thing she needed was to relive it.

When she finished her water, she set the cup down and curled up beside like she used to after a long battle. Coran would have a batch of space hot chocolate, Keith and Lance would inspect each other’s injuries then remain with their arms wrapped around one another until they went to bed. Shiro and Allura would stay and make sure they were okay. Pidge always curled up beside Hunk, tinkering with something to keep her mind and hands busy.

“It’s funny how we’ve had so much time apart and we’re still so used to each other.” Hunk chuckled and laid back, scooting to give Pidge her own space. She almost denied, not wanting to take up any room on the already small couch. But Hunk was already laying her down and an arm over her stomach.

Pidge felt safe.

She had come to hate what was known as cuddling thanks to college. Boys always laid their hands so they rested on her butt, or so they rested just over the edge of her jeans, fingers teasing to slip under until Pidge moved away. Or they’d lay their arm over her waist, so when bent at the elbow, their hands touched her breast. And Pidge hated it. Because she was more than her body parts. And she didn’t need any of that. She didn’t need them. None of those boys had been worth her time, and none of them saw her for who she was. Smart. Strong. Brave. A fighter. Someone to be respected.

Hunk wasn’t like them. Hunk’s arm draped over her waist and his hand hung over the couch cushion. His other hand served as a pillow for her, bent at the elbow to reach her longer hair and play with the ends.

“Hunk,” she whispered. He hummed. “What do you want for Christmas?”

“What?” he chuckled. She turned and looked up at him. His remained pressed to the middle of her back to keep her from falling.

“I mean, what do you want for Christmas? I didn’t get a chance to get you anything. And you did all of this….”

Hunk smiled and shut his eyes. “You don’t have to get me anything. Just don’t disappear again.”

Pidge looked at him and couldn’t help but smile. Her hand rested over his tattooed arm, and she gripped his forearm. “I promise I won’t.” His beard tickled her nose and she sighed as his warmth calmed her. Again, she wondered if something more was possible with him. She’d have to catch more moments. Analyze his behavior and their interactions.

She wanted to figure out what this was, what was happening before he left. With that in mind, she fell asleep.

A loud slam woke her up, and it took her a moment to realize why there were arms tightening around her.

“Well, well, well. What’s this?” Matt said looking down at the couch. Pidge’s face turned bright red and she sat up, covering her eyes by pretending to rub them tiredly. “Hunk, I thought you’d have known you have to ask for my sister’s hand before-”

“Oh my God, Matt, stop,” Pidge nearly shrieked. “I-I’m going to change.” She stood up, rubbing her temples and hurrying to her room.

“Merry Christmas!” Matt called after her.

Click for Chapter 3

#hidge #hunk #pidge #vld #future #au

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jinkisbelly · 7 years

Text

Hourglass 2/2

Pairing: Onkey in all forms and ways ^-^, and side jongho

Word Count: 22,824 (gonna break it down into two parts so it isn’t too long)

Rating: Pg-13, some NC-17

Warnings: A few main character deaths in past lifetimes, Transgender lifetime, a mention of abuse

Summary: Just shy of his 28th birthday Kibum realizes the detailed dreams plaguing his nights the last few months are actually memories of his past lives, tethering him to another soul throughout time and space. He feels like he’s running out of sand in the hourglass of this lifetime to find them.

first part

special thanks to my muffin ( @subbyjonghyun) and sugarplum ( @tofnew) for putting up with my spam and helping me get through writing this. Couldn’t have finished without you both <3

Jinki: I’m so excited for tonight

Kibum smiled softly at the message scrolling across the top of his phone, but then he heard the soft voices of Minho and Jonghyun and his expression fell slowly. It had been a week since he had said anything to his friend more than just passing greetings. Although Minho’s lack of belief in his dreams being more than just dreams hurt him, he still missed his friend immensely. He had noticed Jonghyun had been over more and after knowing Minho for almost 2 decades he knew the man always needed extra affection when he was upset.

Kibum: I’ve been looking forward to it all week ^^

He tossed his phone on the bed next to him and stared at his closed bedroom door for a moment before pushing off and slowly opening the door. He wasn’t sure what he was going to say, but avoiding him was doing nothing to fix the problem at hand and anything was better than that at this point. The squeak of his door hinge opening caused the two men on the couch to look his way. He swallowed thickly as he closed the door behind him and moved down the rest of the hall. Minho was looking at him with such an open vulnerable expression it hurt. “Do you have time to talk for a moment?”

“Ye-yeah!”

Jonghyun smiled as he stood up and pressed a kiss to Minho’s head, softly saying, “Call me later, okay?” He grabbed his things, nodded his head toward Kibum before slipping on his shoes and heading out the door. With him gone the tension fell around them once again it seemed and Kibum was stuck feeling awkward and nervous all at once.

“I’m sorry for avoiding you this last week. I didn’t know how to move through my own thoughts and feelings and-”

“Wait, Kibum.” Minho stood, slowly blinking for a moment before continuing. “You were distraught, scared and anxious. You came to me for support, to be your friend and help you through it, and all I did was basically say you were overreacting and it wasn’t anything. I should be sorry Kibum.”

“No I... it is a crazy thought that these dreams are anything other than an overactive imagination.” Kibum looked at his feet, dejected and aching in his chest, but he had to come to terms with that. Thinking anything different caused more harm than anything.

“I believe you.”

Kibum’s head snapped up so fast it almost hurt. “What?”

“I believe you. I was talking with Jonghyun, I hope you don’t mind that, and he believes you. He got so excited over the concept of a soulmate, he was intrigued to know about your dreams. I wasn’t looking at this like a friend. I was looking at this with a very critical mindset, and I’m sorry.”

“You do?”

Minho smiled gently, “Yeah. I know you have a date tonight, but until then why don’t you tell me about all the dreams and we’ll start figuring this out.”

“Ming,” He breathed out softly, emotions getting the better of him as he walked around the couch to hug him. “Thank you.”

The man squeezed him tightly, “Thank you for coming out here.”

When they parted Kibum held his hand up, “Lemme go get my journal really quick… and on second thought my phone. Jinki’s probably wondering why I haven’t responded yet.”

-----

This time Kibum was the one speed walking down the rain covered street to get to the movie theatre. The traffic had been so horrid he had asked the taxi to let him out almost five blocks down the road. Jinki was leaning against the wall under the big awning and a big smile spread across his face when he recognized Kibum maneuvering through the mass of people. He shook off his hair and coat from the rain with an apologetic smile, “I’m so sorry I’m late.”

“It’s okay,” He pushed off the wall and pulled the tickets from his pocket. “I already got the tickets, so we don’t have to wait in that atrocious line.”

“How about I get the snacks in payment?” In reply, Jinki offered his hand, palm up, and Kibum hesitantly curled their fingers together. He let out a relieved breath and softly said, “This is nice.”

“Hopefully you think that past like 20 seconds,” Jinki chuckled, “If we don’t get snacks soon we’re gonna be late for the movie even with the commercials.”

He groaned at the sight of the snack lines’ length, but Jinki led him over to one and they waited, hands held between them. They made soft conversation about work, Kibum shared the funny story about the old lady who wanted hot coffee with ice in it, and Jinki mentioned the student who wrote post to be instead of supposed to be in a senior level lab report.

“Post to be? Like going to the post?”

“Yeah,” Jinki sighed, pinching the bridge of his nose with his right hand, “You think it gets better as the grade level increases, but it gets so much worse. I had a class of seniors where the highest grade on the first test was a 20 out of a hundred. I about cried. We spent the entire class period beforehand going over the test exactly. I literally gave them the answers and they still fucked it up.”

“That sounds incredibly frustrating.” Kibum glanced around the man in front of him to see how close they were to the front of the line and frowned deeply when they were nowhere near it. “My biggest frustration is there are some people who read my books and will do everything to erase that the two main characters are trans. It’s not mentioned in great detail, but it is canon that they’re both trans. People will completely ignore that part of the book and live by the fact that they’re both CIS.” He flashed a smile with a little laugh, “Sorry, it bothers me a lot.”

“As it should.” Jinki’s nose scrunched up, cutely Kibum noticed. “Erasing someone’s identity, fictional or not, is frustrating on the basic level. If you think about it more in depth it gets even more complicated.”

The more he listened to Jinki talk about anything, the more he felt he was supposed to run into him at the university.

-----

After the movie let out the area outside the theatre’s front doors was a lot less crowded. Jinki was sipping at his icee with one hand and holding Kibum’s left hand with the other. “I had a really great time.”

Jinki smiled brightly over at him. “I did too. The movie was even better than I expected.”

“Did you want to grab something to eat?” He softly asked, “There’s a diner down the road that serves the best burgers.”

“That sounds good actually,” As they continued to walk they finally noticed the rain had stopped. Jinki smiled gently, “It seems the universe is telling us to definitely get burgers.”

Their intertwined hands swung between them as Kibum gently led him the right direction. His hand was warm and small compared to Kibum’s, but it was like it was meant for him to hold they fit so nicely together. He had to remind himself not to gaze for too long, but it proved difficult with how beautiful Jinki was and the memories of his dreams associated with the same face. Someone running down the sidewalk, knocking Jinki straight into him, took him from his thoughts. He wrapped his free arm around Jinki, turning to get him stabilized and away from the person who had run into him. “Are you alright?”

“Yeah,” Jinki’s warm voice quietly answered. He gazed up at him softly and smiled, “Thanks.”

“Oh, you’re welcome,” Kibum whispered, eyes flicking momentarily to his lips. He thought about kissing him, but he didn’t want to go too fast and scare him off. He was sure Jinki had looked at his own lips, however but had he read it all wrong? In the end, he let him go, hand slipping from around him slowly. “People should really look where they’re going.”

Kibum moved to continue down the sidewalk, but Jinki stayed firm in his spot and tugged him back by his grip on his hand. “C’mere.”

He stepped back in front of him hesitantly. Jinki was looking up at him through his lashes, tongue running over his bottom lip slowly, and hand moving around his waist. “Yes?”

“Can I kiss you?” His breathing hitched, but he managed to mumble out a yes. Jinki’s smile was soft and slow as he pushed up, pressing their lips together gently. It wasn’t a very long kiss, but Kibum pressed back when they parted and Jinki recuperated the kiss easily. When they withdrew Jinki chuckled softly and Kibum frowned slightly. Jinki noticed quickly and shook his head. “That was great Kibum. I’ve just… never been the one to kiss so early. It just felt, right? If that makes any sense.”

It was like something slid into place inside him and he felt the burning feeling in his chest. “It makes perfect sense.”

Jinki squinted and playfully asked, “Are you sure we’ve never met before?”

“100 percent in this lifetime.”

The man froze for a moment at the last word, but then he was smiling and asking, “So burgers?”

-----

Kibum hung his keys up on the hook near the front door beside Minho’s as he kicked his shoes off. He picked them up by the back and shuffled into the living room. Jonghyun and Minho were curled up watching a movie, laughing at the scene playing out in front of them on the television screen. After he and Minho had gone over his dreams Jonghyun had been called to resume their plans of watching a movie. They glanced at him for a moment before the movie was paused. Minho turned more to the left, his arm over the back of the couch, as he asked, “Did someone get a kiss?”

Kibum scuffed, “What makes you ask that?”

“Because your dimple is showing you’re smiling so much.” Minho snickered. He was smiling softly as he asked, “So how was it?”

“Soft and warm.” Kibum ran his fingers on his free hand through his hair and gave a shy smile. “Just like him.”

Jonghyun giggled quietly, “Someone’s falling in love.”

Kibum made a high pitch noise in his movement to flee from the statement. Both men on the couch laughed hard at his expense.

-----

The Laene Kingdom, mid 15th century.

“Oh come now Jinki,” Gwiboon looked back at him, thick furs tight around his body. “It’s a few 100 feet and a well timed floating spell. Easy Peasy.”

Jinki mumbled something under his breath as he stared off the cliff. His voice was louder in his protest. “I’m not doing it. Let’s just take the long path down the mountain.”

“That’s a good two weeks with the blizzard against the rocks. Maybe more. There's powerful magic protecting this place.” She stepped forward and cupped his cheek, “We both know you can’t last much more than that. We don’t want them coming into the world on a mountaintop.”

“You’re right,” He scowled, “But you can’t let go of my hand the entire way down.”

“I wouldn’t dream of it.” She held her hand out and his soft fingers curled around them quickly.

He glared at her, “You are a dangerous woman.”

“I know I am.” She beamed before leaning over to press a kiss to his cheek. “Ready?”

“No, but let’s get this over with.”

She made sure the packs on her shoulders were completely closed tightly and gave his hand a squeeze. “Don’t worry about the spell. I have you.” When Jinki nodded Gwiboon gave another smile. “On your count.”

Jinki took a deep breath and mumbled the numbers. On three they jumped. The wind rushing past their ears slowed as Gwiboon muttered the spell. She moved to wrap both arms around him, his forehead pressed into her chest as he squeezed his eyes shut. It seemed like they were falling forever by the time Gwiboon’s warm voice could be heard in his ear. “Step down Jinki. We’re safe.”

He slowly put his foot down and he let off a breath of relief. “I almost want to kiss the ground.”

“It wasn’t that bad.” Gwiboon snorted. She gave his hand a squeeze, “The village is just up the road.”

“There’s heated homes right?”

Gwiboon dipped her head down to nuzzle into his shoulder affectionately, hand moving from holding his to curl around his waist, fingers curling in the soft furs wrapped around him. He shifted a little to kiss the top of her head as she replied, “Yes Baby. You’ll be the coziest bumpkin ever.”

The images around them swirled as they continued, the blizzard blowing rapidly through the dense forest. Jinki’s heat spell was helping take some of the blunt force away from splattering them in the face repetitively, but when the small village could be seen in the close distance relief filled them both. The bridge leading into the village was icy, but Gwiboon led him across with a sure hand on his lower back. A few people rushed from their homes to greet them. Over her travels, she had met many people and gained a few great friends. One being Minjung, the matron protector of the village. She was waiting in front of their inn, lantern clasped in her hands and a big smile on her face as her hood blew slightly against her cheek. The wards around the village protected it from most of the wind, snowflakes falling slowly and peacefully from the sky.

“I am happy you have both made it.” She beamed at Jinki, “And before your little one. I have rooms ready for you. Come.”

Jinki was safe. For a moment in time, Gwiboon wasn’t worried about losing him and she could enjoy becoming a mother. It was like the war, enemies, and atrocities across the mountains wrapping around the valley… didn’t exist.

----

Kibum paused the television show on his laptop when his phone began to ring on the nightstand. “Hey, you~”

“How was your day? It has been so busy these last couple weeks I could barely look at the phone.” Kibum smiled at the soft, cute tone of his voice, and the quiet noise of his body moving over sheets. “I missed you.”

“I missed you too. I had a meeting with my publisher over the last few chapters review deadline early this morning and then I gave myself a break.” Kibum took a small drink of his tea and mumbled, “By watching Netflix for seven hours.”

“Some small break there,” Jinki chuckled sweetly, “Have you eaten anything?”

“Some chips that were Minho’s a few hours ago.” Kibum hummed, “Why do you ask?”

“I keep canceling on you. The last two months we’ve only been together for half of it.” Jinki laughed a little, “I was thinking of coming and cooking for you if you want to. Have a night in.” Kibum swallowed thickly. Nerves bubbled up in him at the idea of Jinki being at his place, cooking for him in his kitchen, and oh god, meeting Minho. “I know I’ve never been to your place. It’s okay if you think it’s moving too quickly or-”

“I’d really like you cooking for me.” Kibum breathed out, a warm, light feeling in his chest. “I’ll send you my address okay? Come around 6?”

“Six it is.” The happiness in his voice made Kibum feel fuzzy. “I’m a very good cook, just so you know.”

“I’m hoping so.” Kibum snorted, “I ain’t gonna eat it if it’s gross.”

Jinki laughed wholeheartedly, warm and deep. Kibum swooned.

-----

He glanced at his reflection for what had to be the hundredth time in the last 15 minutes as he ran his hands over the sweater over his frame. He had sent a message to Minho about how Jinki was coming over tonight. The man had sent him a winky face and the eggplant emoji in response. Kibum had ignored him ever since. He was fidgeting with the collar of the sweater when he heard the doorbell ring. He swung out of the room quickly and almost tripped over the rug in the hall. The doorbell rung again and he cursed softly before calling out, “Coming~ One second.” A moment later he was removing the chain from the door and swung it open with a big smile. Jinki was standing there with big eyes, a brown paper bag in his arms, “Hello Cutie.”

He blushed, “Hey.”

“Come on in.” Kibum stepped back and took in Jinki’s full appearance as he walked into the apartment. His sweater was big, but tight around his hips. His hair was pushed out of his eyes, swept over to the side and curling around his ears a bit. “The kitchen is just to the right.”

“I was thinking of making tacos.” Jinki placed the bag on the counter and begun to empty the contents out across the surface. “Since I canceled on the food truck festival.”

“Ooo Tacos.”

Jinki laughed, “I’m glad, I was nervous you would want something else.”

Kibum leaned on his palms, elbows on the counter, and he smiled, “No, no, anything would have been fine. I’m glad you suggested this. I’ve missed you.”

After emptying the bag completely Jinki leaned over the counter to softly kiss him. Kibum deepened the kiss making Jinki give a breathy laugh as they pulled away. “I can see.”

-----

Their empty plates were back on the kitchen counter, left there once they had finished eating and moved into the living room to watch one of the possible movies Jinki had brought with him. The first movie was just about over, the credits were about to play when they heard the door being opened slowly. Two voices could be heard, taking their attention completely from the television set. Stepping through was Minho, followed shortly by Jonghyun being tugged in by his hand. Kibum frowned deeply. He was supposed to have the apartment for the night. Of course the one night he asks for it Minho would forget.

“Oh~” Minho happily sounded as he turned toward the couch. “You must be Jinki.”

Jinki glanced back at Kibum for a moment, “Minho, the roommate.” He mumbled quietly in response.

“Ah,” Jinki turned again with a big smile, holding out his hand. “Nice to meet you.”

Minho gently took the hand before turning toward Jonghyun, “And this is my boyfriend-”

“Kim Jonghyun.” Jinki finished his sentence with a smile. “We know each other from the biology department.”

Jonghyun quietly asked, “What’s that smell?”

“Oh we made tacos,” Jinki happily commented, “Here, let me join you. I kind of want another one.”

As soon as he and Jonghyun walked out of the room Kibum stood up and punched Minho straight in the shoulder. Minho hissed, “What the fuck was that for?”

“Remember when I texted you telling you I had a date,” Kibum scowled deeply before hissing, “And I told you I wanted the apartment?”

“Oh.” Minho’s eyes widened, “Oh oh.”

“Yeah Oh,” Kibum huffed.

Minho leaned down on the back of the couch with a smirk, “Are you going to break your dry spell?”

“I don’t know,” Kibum nervously pushed his fingers through his hair, “I do want the opportunity to have the choice to.”

“Gotchu, I gotchu.” Minho saluted playfully. “Count us out.”

Kibum groaned at how embarrassing his best friend was, but he fondly gazed over at Jinki when he came back into the room followed by Jonghyun stuffing a taco into his mouth. “These are delicious I want to marry them.”

Minho gave him a side eye. “Tacos or me?”

Jonghyun stared at the taco for a second and Minho whined. The shorter man kissed his cheek. “You Babe, definitely you.”

“I forgot that Kibum had a date tonight so, let’s go over to your place baby.” He smiled down at Jinki as the other man was getting comfy on the couch near Kibum, “It was nice to meet you Jinki.”

“You too, Minho,” Jinki softly mumbled, lifting his head from Kibum’s shoulder to smile up at him. “And Jonghyun maybe I’ll tell you the taco recipe at the next general biology department meeting.”

As they walked out Minho could be heard saying, “I like him. Can we keep him?”

Jinki snorted, “I guess they like me.”

Kibum kissed his hair, “I know I do.”

After a moment Jinki softly asked, “Do we have to watch the next movie?”

“Did you have something else in mind?”

“A little.” Jinki shifted, resting on his knees and hand skimming over Kibum’s shoulder over the back of his neck to play with the hair brushing against his skin. “Now that we’re alone again.”

“Oh,” Kibum quietly said and he softly gasped when Jinki moved his thigh to straddle him, settling over his lap. Hesitantly he rested his hands on Jinki’s thick thighs, gazing up at him as Jinki moved to kiss him. His arms went around his neck, smile on his lips as he leaned closer to brush their noses together. “You sure know how to get what you want.”

Jinki chuckled, breath warm and soft against Kibum’s lips. “This is just the beginning.”

He moved his hands over his thighs, squeezing a little as he asked, “Not that I don’t enjoy this, but what brought this on?”

“I heard you.” Jinki laughed quietly when Kibum blushed, “We don’t have to have sex tonight, but I do want to kiss you a lot right now.”

-----

As he laid Jinki down among his blankets he blushed, softly saying, “Please excuse all the loose papers of my manuscript around the room.”

“I’m sitting here in a sweater and no pants,” Jinki stated as he worked on kissing Kibum’s exposed neck, a gentle laugh rolling off his lips. “The not-really-clutter clutter is not on my mind.”

Kibum curled his fingers around his right thigh, tugging it up until it was pressed against his hip, fingers cutting into the skin causing Jinki to hiss slightly. “I do like you without pants on.”

Jinki rose just enough to pull his sweater off his frame and tugged Kibum back down to kiss him. His thighs opened easily, allowing Kibum to rest against him comfortably. His cock could be felt through his boxers and Kibum groaned against his skin when Jinki rose his hips to grind against him. His skin was smooth and warm, and Jinki made such beautiful little noises with each touch.

He moved to kiss down his jaw, down his neck to suck gently at his adams apple, before moving down to his chest and his soft stomach. Familiar images flashed through his head as if this wasn’t their first time together. He rose, pushing his palms against his eyes as he hissed. Jinki sat up quickly, hands soft on his shoulders as he asked gently, concerned, “Hey, Kibum what’s wrong?”

“It hurts,” He hissed. “I can’t- Fuck.”

Jinki wrapped his arms around him, tugging him down to lay on the bed, “Breath through it. Where is your

“Uh,” Kibum couldn’t really think clearly with the pain throbbing so harshly, “Top shelf in the bathroom I think.”

He felt the bed move as Jinki left, heard the door click open and then close as he returned. “Here. Drink this.”

He squinted as he removed his hands and opened his eyes. Jinki was standing there with a glass of water and a tiny bottle of painkillers. Once swallowed, Jinki smiled, putting the cup on the table and climbing back into bed on the other side. Kibum frowned, “I’m sorry I ruined the mood.”

Jinki shrugged, legs crisscrossed and arms around the pillow he was hugging, and a smile on his face as he gazed over at him. “It’s okay. We don’t have to have sex tonight Kibum.”

“I really wanted to though,” Kibum whined, causing Jinki to laugh loudly. When the man moved to get dressed Kibum grabbed his wrist gently. “You don’t have to go. You can still sleep here.”

He looked a little awkward still half on the bed, but he slowly sat back down, eyes soft and vulnerable. “You sure?”

“Yeah.” Kibum shifted a little, grimacing at the pain in his head. “Turn the main light off and c’mere.”

Once settled Jinki softly asked, “How are you feeling?”

“A lot better without the light.” They could still see the other’s face dimly with the light coming from the window. Kibum moved Jinki’s hair from his face with a smile, “You’re really beautiful.”

He blushed, head dipping a little under his arm that was under his head. “You’re making me flustered.”

“I love you.”

Jinki looked like he was about to cry when he looked up at him, lips parted a little for a moment before he asked, “What did you just say?”

“I love you.” He whispered, cupping his cheek with a fond smile, “I love you Jinki.”

Kibum was softly kissed then. Jinki was careful with him, not pushing too far before pulling away with a content sigh. “I love you too.”

------

The Laene Kingdom, mid 15th century.

Gwiboon held her bag tighter on her shoulders and held back her tears as she started over the main bridge leading away from the village. Jinki was asleep in the rooms provided for them by Minjung, their new babies sleeping in their cribs next to him. He would wake up in a few hours to an empty bed and a note sealed with a kiss on the nightstand near his head. He would be furious with her for leaving. He’d scream and yell and probably burn a few things until it all drained out of him and all that was left was the sheer heartache of being left behind. She had to do this. She was going to protect him, their family, until her last breath, and with the news of them being followed reaching her a few weeks prior she wasn’t going to risk it. The village was the safest in the world, but when it came to him…. She quickly wiped the tears from her eyes and took a deep breath, looking back once more for a moment before descending the bridge and stepping into the thick snow. The further she was away from them, the safer they’d be.

Kibum shifted in his sleep, nose scrunching before turning over and settling back to sleep with a soft sigh.

It had been months since she had stood on this bridge. Almost eight to be exact since she left Jinki and their family with a kiss to the head and a note in the middle of the night. She wasn’t sure what was waiting for her, but with the war officially over, the man hunting her like a dog being dead and burned, she finally felt safe enough to return to him. The cobblestone road had a fresh layer of snow, many people moving through the village in the midafternoon sun, but she saw him through it all. He was sitting on the step in front of the home they had been given, and Gwiboon swallowed thickly seeing the two little bundles sitting in the snow playing. Gods, they had gotten so big.

He was smiling so big she could almost hear him laughing. She stood almost frozen in her spot, gazing at him. She felt as if she didn’t belong anymore. Eight months was such a long time to be apart from someone, especially for them who had never been apart for more than a week. She had missed so much in the effort to protect them. Just when she was questioning if now was the right time to return Jinki’s head rose, his eyes catching sight of her across the street. She could see the shock visible through his features. He turned for a moment talking to Minjung sitting on the chair up on the porch. Minjung’s eyes found her and a smile spread across her face as she nodded her head, pushing off the chair to sit next to the small children after Jinki stood from his spot.

So many people around them, but as he walked toward her no one else mattered. His eyes were glossy, bottom lip through his teeth as he hissed back a breath, just before painfully saying, “How dare you leave me with nothing but a note.”

“Jinki- I-”

“You planned this all along. You brought me here to leave me behind and I was stupid enough to believe you wanted to settle down for just a little while with me.” He landed a blow into her chest with his loosely held fist. “I deserved more. I deserved to say goodbye.”

“I know. I know you did.”

“You’re a coward.” He hissed, hitting her in the chest again. “Eight months without a single message, not a raven, nothing. For all, I knew you had... Died.”

“I couldn’t risk them finding you… hurting you to get to me.” Her voice was almost full of sadness, almost begging him to forgive her, as she grabbed his small hands into hers to stop him from hitting her chest.

“You never did get it.” He quietly stated, shaking his head for a moment. He looked up and his voice broke as he said. “I was always safest by your side, Gwiboon.”

“I am sorry,” She hesitantly moved to wipe the tears falling from his cheeks, before moving her thumb across the skin. “But I promise you from this day forward I will never leave you again. It is over. All of it.”

“It’s over?” He quietly asked, shock adamant in his voice.

“Completely.” Jinki almost jumped into her arms. His arms around her neck, pushing up to kiss her so firmly that she almost lost her balance all the way. Her arm came up to settle him against her. When he parted from her she pecked his lips again. “I love you.”

“I love you too.” He laughed quietly at himself before softly stepping back, grabbing her hand. “Come. Your children are a lot different than when you left.”

One was sitting in her lap a few moments later, the other looking up at her with big ole eyes, and Jinki was leaning on her shoulder. It was then Jinki admitted, “I wish to stay here. I wish to make here home.”

She reached over to squeeze his hand on her knee. “It already is home.”

------

Jonghyun bounced into the room happily. Jinki shifted a little in his spot with his legs over Kibum’s lap in order to see the man as his voice could be heard. “Did you ask him yet?”

“No,” Jinki replied, voice muffled with the ice cream covered spoon in his mouth.

“Ask me what?” Kibum asked as he took his eyes off the television.

“If you wanted to play softball with us,” Jinki replied, head resting on Kibum’s shoulder comfortably. “The university is having a faculty game before school starts again and one of our players had to drop last minute. Would you want to?”

“I haven’t played since middle school, but sure.” He laughed sweetly when Jinki kissed his cheek, gently lapping at the bit of ice cream left by his lips.

“Thank you, Babe.”

Jonghyun just sipped his lemonade through his straw with a small, highly amused smile.

-----

Rockford, Illinois 1945

Gwiboon wrapped her dressing gown tighter around herself as she moved to open the door. Most of the other girls in the house had already retired to their rooms and there would be no reason for their coach to be knocking on her door so late in the night with the curfew put into effect still. She clicked the lock open and quietly opened the door. She smiled so wide when Eunsook came into view. A shawl was wrapped around her shoulders, long hair curled up into a messy hairdo, and a soft, slow smile curled on her face. Her lips were painted red, her signature. Gwiboon softly whispered, “I wasn’t sure you were coming back this year.”

Eunsook pushed a strand of hair behind her ear before she smiled sweetly, “But how will you ever have hopes of winning this year without me?”

“Have you found your room?”

“I have. It’s down the hall to the right.”

Gwiboon stepped away from the door without a word. Eunsook entered the room all the way. Her hat was gently removed from her head, some of her hair falling from the pins as she laid the accessory on Gwiboon’s vanity. She heard the door click close, the lock being slid into place and Gwiboon’s bare feet across the wooden floors before she felt the woman’s arms moving around her middle and her lips against her neck. “Oh, how I’ve missed you.”

Eunsook leaned her head to the left, giving the other woman open access to her neck. “I always looked forward to your letters.”

She locked eyes with Eunsook through the mirror for a moment before reaching up to begin to remove all the pins in her hair. The long, soft locks began to fall around her gently, cupping her face beautifully. Her shawl was placed next to her hat and Gwiboon watched her delicate fingers begin to unbutton the top of her dress until it fell around her ankles as it passed her wide hips. She turned after the last pin was removed and looked up at Gwiboon through her long lashes, teeth cutting into her bottom lip and removing some of her lipstick along with it. Gwiboon rubbed her thumb over the smudged area slow and firm.

Eunsook’s eyes were gazing up at her as she moved her finger over her lips, removing most of her lipstick. The slightly shorter woman opened her mouth causing Gwiboon’s fingers to fall against her tongue. Gwiboon’s breathing stuttered as the woman lapped at her fingers. Her eyes fluttered as Eunsook gently pulled at the string holding her dressing gown closed, cool fingers moving against warm skin, and up to cup one of her bare breasts. “Oh, Sookie.”

When Gwiboon removed her fingers Eunsook grinned, stepping forward until she had backed the woman up against the bed. She pushed lightly, causing Gwiboon to fall backward. She removed her bra, shimmed out of her panties, and smiled as the other woman sat up to wrap her arms around the curve of her beautiful waist. Gwiboon tugged her closer, kissing at the supple soft skin of her tummy, up between her breasts before sucking at a nipple. Eunsook moaned deeply, fingers curling in Gwiboon’s hair. “You’re so good to me.”

“Just wait until you read the signs between your legs,” Gwiboon chuckled, “My little pitcher.”

-------

Kibum smirked as Jinki bent over to pull the equipment from the bag. “I think my favorite thing about this is your ass in those sweats.”

Jinki glared around his hip for a moment before straightening, both gloves held against his chest. He tossed one at his boyfriend a little harshly. “Just put that on and get ready.”

He wiggled his hand into the glove and adjusted the velcro strap on the back. When he looked up again Jinki was about 20 feet away, flexing his fingers in the glove and tossing the softball in front of his thighs softly. “You’re not going to hit me in the head right?”

“If you catch it,” Jinki snorted for a moment before smiling, “You ready?” Kibum shrugged, holding the glove up. His eyes widened as Jinki threw the softball, harder than he had expected him to at first, and he ducked as it came closer. He heard Jinki’s loud laughter and he scowled at him as he stood again. “What was that?”

“I could ask you the same thing!” Jinki was still laughing, causing Kibum to grumble as he jogged to go get the ball. “You’re supposed to help me get prepared for the game, not take my head off.”

“Alright alright. I’ll go easier on you Babe.” Jinki winked and he laughed when Kibum stuck his tongue out at him in response.

-----

On the road to the Playoffs, 1945

“He sent me another letter this morning.” Eunsook quietly stated, respectful of her other teammates toward the front of the bus. “Asked me why I hadn’t replied to his last ones.”

“Where is he now?” Gwiboon asked, eyes closed and long, thin fingers being played with by the other woman.

“He didn’t say.” Eunsook sighed, head leaning against the window of the bus. “He tries to make this a real marriage. He never understood that I never wanted to marry him in the first place.”

“Mine is somewhere in the Pacific. He hasn’t sent me a letter in weeks. My mother tells me I should be sadder, but,” She slowly opened her eyes to gaze at Eunsook. At her beautiful plump lips, the curve of her nose and flutter of her eyelashes. “These last two years have been the happiest I’ve been since I was told I was to be married to him.”

Eunsook moved her head over to look at her, eyes soft and vulnerable. Her voice was barely a whisper, “I sometimes am ashamed to wish they never return.”

Gwiboon kissed two of her fingers slowly before lifting them to Eunsook’s lips.”Me too Love.”

-----

“I didn’t know you had it in you,” Minho stated as he smacked Kibum hard in the shoulder, causing him to spit up the soft drink he was at the time attempting to swallow.

Jinki giggled behind his hand, leaning against the wood of the inside of the booth. Kibum frowned as he patted the soda from his shirt. “It was just a double.”

“A double that made us win,” Jinki added, moving over to gently kiss his cheek. He said so close their thighs were touching, stealing a fry or two from Kibum’s basket.

“I literally asked you if you wanted fries.” He softly commented.

“I don’t want my own. I want yours.” He flashed a cute little smile before taking another handful of fries. Kibum just shook his head and let him. Pleased Jinki laid his head on Kibum’s shoulder, hooking their arms together, and holding his drink with his left hand. Jonghyun tried to take some of Minho’s, but the man pulled it away.

“I’m not as nice as him.” When Jonghyun pouted deeply Minho gave in, pushing the basket back over toward him. “You’re lucky you’re cute.”

Jonghyun hummed happily. “Fries and dibbing rights for the next year. Double bonus.”

“After this, I need a nap,” Jinki mumbled. “I’m getting too old for this.”

Kibum kissed his hair, “A nap sounds wonderful.”

------

Just before the AAGPBL 1945 Championship

Gwiboon was rolling up her socks when the door to their locker room opened. There stood their manager. The look on his face made everyone pause momentarily, but it was the colored slip of paper in his hand that made everyone’s breath catch. The women on the team slowly took seats on the benches around the room, waiting with wide eyes as their manager walked toward them. Gwiboon expected him to stop before he got to her, but he kept walking until he was standing directly in front of her. His eyes moved between her and Eunsook as he pulled at the paper in his hand. It was then she realized there were two notices. He handed one to each of them, “I’m so sorry girls.”

Gwiboon knew she should cry, tears should have formed, for even though she never loved him as a husband she did care for him as a friend and fellow human being, but she couldn’t. She glanced toward Eunsook, who was staring down at the paper cradled in her palms, and she wrapped her arms around her. Eunsook melted into the embrace, emotions finally hitting her at the physical touch. They barely heard their manager comment about letting them have some space. When the door clicked close Gwiboon pulled away, moving the curls from Eunsook’s face and moved to wipe her tears. The room was clear, so she softly whispered, “Why are you crying beautiful?”

“What am I to do?” She breathed.

“We’ll figure something out.” Gwiboon quietly shushed her.

Eunsook shook her head. “You don’t understand.”

“Understand what?”

“I should be broken. Any other woman in this room with a husband would have cried and shaken with this news, and all I felt was relief. What am I to do when I have to return home and face his family expecting me to be a grief stricken widow?” She covered her face with her hands, elbows pressed into her thighs.

There was silence for a long while before Gwiboon quietly said. “You won’t have to if you come home with me.”

Eunsook’s head snapped over toward her, “What?”

“Come with me.” She smiled hopefully, “We can be together. Widowers living with each other to help through the pain, or to not be lonely or something. Whatever we have to tell them, but we can be together. No more dreading when they come home.”

“Do you hear yourself Gwiboon?” Eunsook sighed, “People will think we wanted them to not return. What type of people are we being happy two human beings are dead?”

“He abused you. He beat you so badly, but you had to stay because what could you do alone?” Gwiboon hissed, wanting to protect her even now he was gone. “You’re free. You’re allowed to be happy you’re free.”

Eunsook’s eyes moved rapidly over her facial features, thinking things through. She looked lost and small when she asked, “You want me to go with you?”

Gwiboon squeezed her hands, “I wouldn’t want it any other way.”

She quickly kissed Gwiboon’s cheek, smiling ever so softly as she wiped her tears. When she spoke again Gwiboon laughed, “Do you think they’ll allow us to play?”

Smirking she replied, “If they want to win they will.”

They held hands until they reached the door and Eunsook pushed it open, fingers slipping from the other’s grasp between the skirts of their uniforms.

-----

Kibum frowned as the pamphlet on the counter came into better view. He ran his fingertips over the cover softly before picking it up by the edge to flip it open, “Hey Ming?”

“Yeah?”

“What’s this about a cruise?”

“Oh,” Kibum could hear the man moving through their apartment towards him and a few moments later he was stepping around the corner into the kitchen, “My parents mentioned that they’d gift us cruise tickets if we really wanted to go for our birthdays.”

“I am not getting on a damn ship.” Kibum was shaking his head quickly, “I’m not gonna die in a shipwreck again.”

“Uh Kibum, you never died in a shipwreck.”

“Huh?” He asked as he looked up at him, seemingly dazed.

“You said you didn’t want to die in a shipwreck again.. Insinuating there was a first time.”

“Did I?” He laid the pamphlet on the counter cover side down. “I uh, think you misheard me or something.”

-----

Southampton, Titanic at port, April 10th, 1912

“I’m so excited,” Jinki exclaimed softly, fingers curling tightly around Kibum’s jacket to stay with him through the crowd as they moved toward the last checkpoint before boarding.

Kibum flashed a smile over his shoulder as he reached back to grab Jinki’s wrist of the hand gripping his jacket. His other hand held his bag. He moved quickly through the crowd, tugging Jinki along who was softly laughing from the excitement of it all. When they finally reached the checkpoint Kibum reached into his inside coat pocket to hand Jinki his ticket. His voice was very soft as he said, “I can’t wait to start a new life with you.”

Jinki smiled wide, looking up at the huge ship on the water before looking back at him. “We’re just one bridge and a travel across the sea away.”

Kibum leaned closer to whisper something in Jinki’s ear, “I really want to kiss you.”

With slightly pink cheeks Jinki coughed and looked up at him under his lashes, “Move forward Mr. Kim.”

He let Jinki get checked first and as he went through the last motions to get through he gazed at the man. Jinki was gazing up at the big ship, the breeze flowing through his long hair and happy smile on his face at the beauty of the Titanic. He was breathtaking. He slowly looked over when he felt Kibum’s hand on his shoulder. “Let’s start our new life Jinki.”

-----

Minho was sitting in the recliner across the room staring at the soccer game on the television. Kibum was figuring out a way to ask him a question without being laughed at. After a few more minutes he ventured to ask, “Hey Ming?”

“Huh?” Minho looked over, “Oh yeah, hey what’s up?”

“Is there a way to find out who died on the Titanic?”

“What the fuck, Dude?” Minho snorted, “How did you get to that from soccer?”

“Well, I had another dream.” Minho turned a little to face him completely. “The one last night I was on the Titanic.”

“And you think you will show up on the manifest or something? What’s to say in that life you died? Or you had the same name?”

Kibum sighed, “I guess you’re right.”

“If you have another dream about this, with more information, we’ll look more into it.” Minho leaned on his palm, elbow on the arm of the chair. He smiled, almost evilly, “So what’s the plan for tonight?”

“I have no clue. Jinki has a complete secret plan for my birthday.” Minho wiggled his eyebrows at that and Kibum blushed as he hissed, “Shut up.”

Minho laughed loud and high pitched, highly amused at the embarrassment on Kibum’s face. He frowned when the man stood up and walked around the couch. “Oh come on. Stay.”

Kibum shook his head, “It’s only like noon and I need a nap.”

Before he left he tossed a pillow at Minho’s head because of the snort he heard from him as he turned away.

-----

Titanic April 13th, 1912

“I wish we could have found it,” Jinki mumbled sadly as he gazed down at his bare ring finger, head leaning on Kibum’s bare shoulder.

He pushed his fingers through Jinki’s hair, pressing his lips to his head before quietly saying, “There is still a chance at finding it.”

“This ship is so big Kibum,” Jinki lifted his head to look at him. “The ring is lost.”

“It’s okay.”

“No, it’s not. That ring meant so much to you. It was your father’s and you gave it to me and-” Jinki took a huge breath. “I’m sorry I lost it. I should have been more careful.”

Kibum cupped his cheek softly before kissing him warmly. Their noses brushed as he said with a smile, “I have you. You mean the most to me, Love.”

“You’ll always have me.” Jinki kissed him on his lips, a small smile pulling across his face. “I can’t wait until we dock in New York.”

“A life full of chances.” Kibum sighed happily before kissing him again. “I could kiss you forever.”

“I plan on holding you to that,”

Kibum laid back on the bed, hands behind his head, as he smiled, “Then come get them.”

“We have so many things we could be doing right now on this luxury ship,” Jinki chuckled as he moved over him, straddling his hips, “And you want to spend this beautiful day in here kissing me.”

“What can I say? I’m a simple man.”

-----

When Kibum opened the door Jinki was smiling, holding a bouquet of roses, “A dozen now isn’t overdoing it is it?”

“No,” He laughed as he leaned to press a kiss to Jinki’s cheek. “They’re beautiful, thank you.”

He was adjusting them in an old cookie jar turned vase as Jinki commented, “I have a big night planned for you.”

Kibum rose his eyebrow, “Should I be worried about being able to get up in the morning?”

Jinki snorted before getting serious. “There’s a great possibility.”

He gently took Jinki’s hand and smiled, “I guess let’s begin Baby.”

-----

“What…” The entire balcony of the restaurant was lit by candles. The river was just in front of them, beautifully reflecting the lights from the city. “Jinki, this is too much.”

Jinki’s hand was flat against Kibum’s lower back, leading him further in. “Nothing is too much for you.” His chair was pulled out for him and a kiss was pressed to his cheek after he was pushed back in. He felt speechless looking around. The white tablecloth, the twinkling lights hung around the windows leading back into the main part of the restaurant, the candles so beautifully lit, and the waiter pouring the wine into their glasses. “I hope red is fine.”

“I have no idea what to say- I..”

He chuckled before sipping his glass of wine. “It’s so very hard to make you speechless Babe.”

Kibum blushed over his wine glass, “It’s so beautiful. This must have cost a small fortune.”

Jinki reached into his coat pocket and laid a wrapped box in front of Kibum on his plate. “Happy Birthday Babe.”

“Jinki the dinner was more than enough. I can’t accept whatever this is.”

“Just open it.”

Kibum grumbled quietly as Jinki chuckled, slowly unwrapping the pretty blue wrapping paper. Inside was a white box, about 8 inches long and a few inches wide. Curious, he wiggled the top off and gasped when the reflective surface of the pen set could be seen. “Jinki..”

“For when you finally get to write out your next novel.” Jinki leaned on his palm, elbow placed lightly on the table as he gazed over at him.

“Let your dreams fly~” Kibum quietly read the engraving, “Thank you so much.”

“I’d kiss you, but my tie would land in the candles.” Kibum reached over to squeeze his hand laying on the table and Jinki beamed over at him. “It’s time for the first course.”

“First?”

Jinki snorted.

----

When Jinki stood in front of him and offered his hand Kibum groaned, “I am so full. I don’t think I can dance with you.”

“Come on,” Jinki tugged him up with a big laugh. Music was played through the speakers as he moved to rest his head against Kibum’s chest. His arms were wrapped around him as Kibum moved to hold him close.

He dipped his head to press his nose into Jinki’s neck, gently swaying to the music. “Thank you for tonight.”

Jinki’s body rumbled with his soft laughter. “Here’s to many more Kibum.”

He kissed his neck gently before squeezing him tightly for a moment. It was definitely better than the last birthday he had a boyfriend for, and one of his best birthdays ever.

----

The inside of his apartment was dark behind him through the small gap of the open door. Jinki’s lips were soft, plush and supple, his body warm and firm against him as Kibum pressed him against the frame around the door. His fingers were curling tightly in Kibum’s shirt on his lower back, tugging him as if he wasn’t as close as he could be. Kibum only parted from his lips far enough that he could whisper, “Stay.”

Jinki’s chest rose and fell heavily, eyes hazy as he looked from Kibum’s lips to his eyes, smiling. He didn’t say anything, just moved to lift Kibum’s hand to his lips, pressing a kiss to the back of his hand.

Kibum tugged him into the apartment, having to kick the door closed because his hands were too busy roaming Jinki’s form to be able to close it.

------

April 15th, Titanic 3rd class

The water was up to their ankles as they jogged down the hallway toward the entry point to the level above them. They heard the loud voices, the crying children, and the curses as they got closer. Kibum pushed through the people, his grip on Jinki’s wrist slipping as he moved closer to the metal gates. There were three men standing on the other side, trying to calm them down and keep them from pressing against the gate. “You must stay calm and orderly until it is your turn.”

“Bullshit!” Was yelled, hissed, as the mass of them pushed against the gates causing two of the men to hit their hands and arms to get them back.

Kibum felt warm fingers curling around his wrist and when he looked back in the mass of people behind him was Jinki, eyes sad and vulnerable as he tugged his arm a little. He followed the force easily, standing tall before his lover and looking down concerned. Jinki shook his head, pushing up to say into his ear. “There isn’t a turn for us. They’re locking us in to allow the first and second class to get the boats.”

“No, Love, that can’t be-”

It dawned on him that Jinki was right a few moments later as more people came from the halls in their life jackets and the gate was never opened. The water was slowly rising. He looked at the mothers holding small children, men pushing forward to try to save their families, and he knew. Jinki pulled away just enough to look at him in the eyes and when the man grabbed his hand Kibum didn’t need him to say anything to understand what he wanted. He followed him back towards their room, where the water was shallower than where they had been. Silently they climbed into the bottom bunk after locking the door, Jinki’s head pressed under Kibum’s chin, curled around each other.

“I’m so sorry,” Jinki breathed out, eyes squeezed shut as he pressed further into him. “We came on here because of me. I wanted to do this. This is all my fault.”

“Shh,” Kibum shifted to press a kiss to his hair, squeezing him tightly as he tried to ignore the sounds of the mass of people down the hall and the water rushing through the 3rd class. “This isn’t your fault. None of it is your fault.”

“We’ll see each other again, won’t we?” Jinki whispered.

Kibum’s lips were pressed to his hair for a long moment, “We always find each other Jinki. We always do.”

“I wish we had more time.” Jinki sucked in a huge breath, sorrow racking his frame with his soft sobs.

“Forever wouldn’t be enough time,” They held each other tighter as the water rushed into their room. “I love you.”

Jinki gasped out his reply as the temperature of the water reached them, “I love you more.”

Kibum was startled awake, chest heaving and eyes wide as he gasped for air. Jinki shifted from the other side of the bed. He turned, rubbing his eyes as he sleepily mumbled, “Kibum?” When he noticed that Kibum was leaning over the side of the bed gasping harshly for breath he kicked the covers off and crawled over to place a hand on the middle of his back. “Kibum! What’s wrong?”

“I can’t- I can’t catch my breath.”

“Close your eyes, focus on my voice,” Jinki rubbed his back as he softly spoke, “In, count to three and out.”

It took a few minutes, but eventually, his breathing went back to normal. He felt the fear, the panic of dying still in his chest. Jinki had gone to get him a glass of water after throwing on one of their boxers. The glass sat on the bedside table as he laid his head on Jinki’s chest as the man played with his hair soothingly. “I’m sorry for waking you up. It was just a really bad dream.”

“It’s okay.” Jinki kissed his hair gently, smiling warmly as his eyes fluttered closed and he kept his head pressed against his. “I’m here when you need me, Babe.”

Kibum shivered, causing Jinki to tug the blankets up to his shoulders. He could still feel the icy waters, the breath being taken from his lungs as he tried so hard to keep ahold of Jinki. He squeezed his eyes closed and begged for the images to disappear. Jinki held him tighter as if he could sense it was more than just a bad dream. He fell asleep a while after, Jinki holding him from behind. He held Jinki’s hand on his stomach and drifted off to sleep.

----

As Jinki moved around the room collecting his things Kibum hugged his pillow and pouted. “Do you have to leave so early?”

Jinki stopped jumping into his pants to walk over and lean down to give him a soft kiss. “I have plans with my sister at ten. I’ll be back tonight for part two of your birthday.”

“Jinki~” He whined causing Jinki to laugh at him.

“It’s just dinner in the bed of my truck up on one of the lookouts in the nature reserve just out of the city.” He finally managed to buckle his belt and beamed over at him. He gave Kibum one more kiss. “I’ll talk to you later Babe. I love you. I hope you enjoyed your birthday.”

“I did,” Kibum rolled onto his back and gave a soft, hazy smile. “I hope you enjoyed my birthday too.”

Jinki snorted, “I think the second time around signaled I enjoyed it very much.”

Kibum hummed, tugging him down by his wrist to sit on the bed. “Good.”

“I gotta go,” Jinki chuckled as Kibum’s long fingers moved up his arm, over his shoulder to curl around his neck to pull him down closer. A few more kisses and he finally pulled away, “One more and then I have to go.”

“So if I don’t kiss you one more time you can stay?”

“Nice try.”

His bottom lip jutted out as he mumbled. “I tried.”

Jinki kissed his pouty lips slowly before quickly moving out of Kibum’s reach. “Byeee~”

------

Jonghyun and Minho were seated in the living room, quietly eating while watching the morning news when Kibum finally shuffled out of his room. When they took notice of him slipping into the recliner after getting his coffee Minho teased, “Was it so bad he had to leave before you woke up?”

“Shut up,” Kibum mumbled halfheartedly.

Minho frowned, “Hey, I’m just teasing you.”

He shook his hand in his direction for a moment before it returned to the side of his mug. He was staring at the rippling liquid, images flashing of the water rushing in when Jonghyun’s voice brought his attention back. “Are you okay? You look like you’ve seen a ghost Kibum.”

“Last night my titanic dream was finally concluded.” He licked his lips to wet them, avoiding looking at the two men, “And I was right. It ended in death. I woke up in a panic and didn’t know how to explain to Jinki why I couldn’t breathe after a fucking dream. That’s probably why he ran off.”

“Kibum,” Minho said softly, “What happened?”

“In the dream, we were 3rd class. They locked the gates allowing us out and-” Kibum took a harsh breath. His voice was soft and broken as he finished, “We accepted death instead of fighting. We drowned.”

“What did you tell Jinki?” Jonghyun quietly asked, legs brought up onto the couch cushion and plate laid on his lap as he focused entirely on Kibum.

“That is was just a bad dream.” Kibum sighed as he stared at his coffee for a long moment before placing it on the counter. He didn’t have much of a stomach for it. “I think tonight I’m going to tell him everything.”

“Everything?” Minho hesitantly asked. “Do you think that’s the best idea?”

“I love him a lot and I think it’s time I tell him.” Kibum leaned on his palm, elbow on the arm of the chair. “He may think I’m insane or whatever, but I don’t want to go even further in this relationship with these dreams plaguing me and him not knowing everything. It’s been six months. I can’t keep telling myself it’s too early to tell him such a thing anymore.”

“If you think it’s the best choice I’ll support you.” Minho smiled warmly.

Kibum flashed a quick, nervous smile his way. “Thanks.”

-----

“I still don’t wrap my head around the fact you have multiple cars.” Kibum comment as he climbed up into the bed of the pickup truck.

Jinki laughed quietly as he fluffed the extra pillows behind them. “I only have the two.”

“Uh huh.” Kibum nudged him when Jinki beamed. “The sky is really pretty tonight.”

“Not as pretty as you.”

“Oh my God Jinki.” Jinki looked super proud of himself. “How long have you been waiting to say that line?”

“Oh, just all of our relationship, no biggie.” He twisted a little and lifted up a cooler. “I packed sandwiches and there are beer and tiny bottles of wine.”

“I actually have something to tell you.” Jinki looked up from the cooler concerned as he slowly placed the six pack on the blanket between them.

“That’s a little spooky since I kind of have something to tell you too.” He scratched the back of his neck like he always did when he was nervous or shy. “But…I need to go first.”

“Okay.” Kibum smiled and softly adjusted himself in the pillows. He rose an eyebrow when Jinki popped the top off one of the beers and downed it quickly. “How bad is what you have to tell me?”

“Bad enough I was going to wait until I drove you home.” Jinki took a deep breath, eyes closed for a moment as he collected his thoughts, before they opened and he gave a small smile. “I love you a lot Kibum. You’re the first thing, Person, I’ve had for just myself. These last six months have meant so much to me and I know I should have told you this sooner, but I was selfish and I didn’t want to lose you.”

“What is it you have to tell me?”

“I’m married.” Jinki slowly answered. As the realization visibly descended over Kibum, he was quick to explain himself. “I don’t love her. I never did.”

“How does that make this better?” Kibum hissed. “You’re still cheating on her with me. I’m your fucking mistress.”

“No, no.” Kibum pushed off the bed of the truck and moved to leave, but Jinki raising his voice stopped him. “Dammit, Kibum sit here and listen to me.”

“Listen to what? How can you make the fact you’re married any better?”

“I didn’t marry her because I loved her.” Jinki ran his fingers through his hair, trying to get his emotions in check. He didn’t need to cry. “My sister was in love with her, but my parents would never have accepted her being gay and I wasn’t about to let my little sister be kicked out and disowned. I had to protect her and the only way I could think of was I told my parents the reason they were spending so much time together was that they were planning our wedding. I married her to protect my sister.”

Kibum softened a little, carefully sitting back down from where he was standing. “Then why are you still married? Why didn’t you tell me about it?”

“I’m still married because it was the safest option for her. She wasn’t out of school yet and she depended on our parents for her tuition, and I had no reason to be divorced. I didn’t have anyone that I’d need to be single for.” Jinki laid his head in his hands, elbows pressed into his thighs. “I met with my sister today to tell her I couldn’t do it anymore, that I loved you and wanted to be free to be with you completely. I guess it doesn’t matter. I’ve lost you by telling you.”

It was a few minutes before Kibum softly asked, “Who said you’ve lost me Jinki?”

When Jinki looked up he was as vulnerable as Kibum had ever seen him. His eyes were pink, cheeks damp, and he sniffled before saying. “I wouldn’t want to be with someone who lied to me like I did to you. Why would you want to be with me?”

“Because I love you.” Kibum tenderly said. He crossed the distance between them to cup Jinki’s jaw. “You did lie to me and it hurts, but I understand the reasoning behind your marriage and behind the deception. I can’t be angry at you for protecting your little sister Jinki. “

“Oh God,” Jinki gasped out, covering Kibum’s hand with his own as he turned to press a kiss to his palm. “I love you. I love you so much.”

“C’mere.” Jinki shuffled over, snuggling in as Kibum wrapped his arms around him and kissed his hair. “We’ll work things out, and we’ll do it together. Thank you for being honest with me.”

Jinki sucked in a ragged breath, sniffling harshly, before quietly asking, “What did you need to tell me?

“Well,” He took a deep breath and laughed anxiously. “That’s a long story.”

“I understand if you don’t want to tell me right now.”

“I need to. You were honest with me and I need to get this off my chest.” Kibum gently pushed him to make some space between them. He wiped Jinki’s tears from his cheeks with his thumbs before saying, “I’m just going to come out and tell you. For months before I ran into you, I had these dreams that just didn’t feel like they were only dreams. In each, the dreams swirled around the lives of two people that no matter what gender they were, I could feel they were the same people. It just so happened in many of them one of them was named Kibum and the other.. Jinki.” Kibum couldn’t look at him as he confessed. “I wrote them all down as soon as I woke up from them, hoping to somehow piece them together and make sense of it all. I thought that maybe it was just my overactive imagination running wild, but then I ran into you. You felt familiar even if I knew I had never met you before. I tried to put it to coincidence, but every moment I spent with you I felt for the first time in my life like I didn’t have something missing. You probably think I’m insane, telling you all this, but I love you without those dreams.”

He curled his fingers in his pants and sucked in a huge breath. “I’ve thought about telling you for so long, but I didn’t want to lose you. Every night it’s like I’m reliving lives, complete other lives where I lost you or you me, times when we were happy and others when I’d wake up and feel this big lump in my throat and dread in my chest. Regular dreams so ache for that long, you don’t feel or remember regular dreams as long as I have these. I remember every single detail of each, even the first one I had when I lost you to an arrow in the shoulder, all the way to the most recent. When I held you tight against my chest as the waters began rushing into our room on the Titanic. It feels so real, but it can’t be. Soulmates aren’t a thing.”

The pressure in his chest couldn’t be contained, his emotions spilling from him easily as he brought his knees up to his chest. He pressed his face into his crossed arms on them and let the tears fall. He felt the truck moving under him before he felt the soft hands moving to remove his arms from around his face. Kneeling there was Jinki. His eyes were warm and damp, as silent tears fell from them. He cupped Kibum’s cheeks gently after pushing his knees apart so he could move closer. Their lips melded together. When Kibum pushed back against him it was like something unlocked in them. They fell apart panting, eyes wide and hair amuck as they stared at the other.

All the memories, feelings, and sensations were coming back to them. When Jinki whispered his name all the emotion he was feeling could be felt through his voice. “Kibum?”

It was just a word. A single whispered call of his name, but Kibum could sense so much more than was unspoken. “You remember too?”

Jinki was crossing the small space between them quickly, nuzzling into his neck and wrapping his arms tightly around him. Kibum breathed in his scent deeply, wrapping his arms around him and pushing his fingers into his hair.

------

6 months later

Kibum was fixing his tie when he heard the gentle knock on the door. “Come in!”

In the reflection of the mirror Jinki’s little sister Taeyeon popped her head through the open door, eyes covered by her hand. “You’re decent right?”

“Yes.” He replied with a chuckle, letting go of the tie deeming it good enough.

She stepped all the way in, hand falling from over her eyes as she moved to close the door behind her. “You ready for this?”

“I’ve waited over a hundred years for a full life with him.” Kibum smoothed out his shirt nervously. “Is everything okay?”

“Oh yes.” She smiled widely. “I’ve never seen my brother so shaken before. He wasn’t even this nervous before his dissertation to get his Ph. D. He’s so in love with you. He gave up so much for me, to protect me, and I’m just so thankful and happy he found you.”

The glossiness of her eyes and the sound of her voice made him panic a little. “Oh no, Taeyeon please don’t cry.”

She shook her head while laughing quietly, “Yes, I have to save that for the ceremony. Come. We have to head to the dock.”

He grabbed the velvet box from the hotel room’s vanity and his coat before smiling. “Let’s go get me married.”

------

In front of Pier 54, New York City,

He caught a glimpse of Jinki when he turned the corner before Minho blocked his view. There was a lump in his throat as soon as the old gate came into view. This is where they would have docked if they survived on the Titanic. He twisted the small box between his fingers as he walked toward the edge near the very old gate. He closed his eyes, took a deep breath, and took in the smell of the water of the Hudson River. He was startled when he heard Jonghyun’s voice behind him. “It’s time Kibum.”

He let out a deep breath and turned with a smile, finding Jinki across the way. There were only handful of people in front of the dock that came with them. Jinki’s sister Taeyeon, her partner Soojung, Jonghyun and Minho, who would be completing the ceremony. Finally standing in front of Jinki, seeing how radiant he was, God, he was breathtaking. He almost couldn’t follow Minho’s words. “Do you take Lee Jinki to be your husband?”

“I do.” Jinki’s smile was so wide and bright as he gazed up at him.

“Do you take Kim Kibum to be your husband?”

“I do.” Jinki swallowed thickly after the words were said, tears forming on his lashes.

“Exchange rings, and you may kiss your new husband.” Minho quietly said, closing his small notebook he had his lines written in.

Jinki twisted to get the ring from his sister and Kibum handed the now empty box to Jonghyun to hold. He gently took Jinki’s left hand into his and smiled softly as he slipped on the ring. It took the man a moment to recognize it, but once he did his right hand was covering his mouth and nose, tears falling from his eyes in his shock. “I remember you were so upset over losing it on board. I told you that it would be found. I can’t wait to spend the rest of my life with you.”

“Where- How?” He gasped out.

“There was a thrift shop downtown in Seoul. I have no idea how it got there from last being seen on board the Titanic, but it’s the ring. The inscription is the same.”

Jinki laughed at himself as he sniffled and wiped his eyes with the ends of his jacket, “I feel my ring for you doesn’t compare.”

Once the gold band was slipped onto his finger Kibum stepped forward, his right arm slipping behind his back to tug him close, noses brushing as he quietly whispered, “I love you.”

“I love you more.” Jinki’s lips quirked at the corners before he pressed forward, melding into Kibum easily.

From their very first lifetime when Jinki was an Angel and Kibum was half demon, to their most recent on the Titanic, they had found each other and fallen in love. Through the mess that is the space time continuum, the sands of time trickling down, they found each other.

#onkey #jinkibum #onew #key #shinee #hourglass au #listen I cut so much out of my plan to be able to finish this on time #I made such a monster rip me #I hope you like it1

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artisticestheticreads · 5 years

Text

Summertime Magic (VI)

A/N: IT’S N’JADAKA TUESDAYYYYY. Now, in this chapter, N’Jadaka is back home and get to love all over his Baby Girl but a couple things get in the way.

WARNING: SMUTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTT

Song Recommendation: Just You by Phora

“Prince N’Jadaka, would you like to add anything”, King T’Challa asked his younger cousin. It had been a month since he had seen Y/N and wanted his week to go by as fast as he can. The wait was becoming agonizing as ever and he couldn’t take it anymore. Since he was the Prince, he had to put on the facade and use his mentality to please the council members. He stood in his black short-sleeve button-down with slacks and loafers. “Fellow council members, as the royal advisor and Prince of Wakanda, I feel as if what we are doing is the best for not only the world but also for our people as well. I am very thankful that you all agreed to help my old neighborhood with the youth center and also for the Princess who came up with the Wakanda Scholarship plan.” Shuri stood on T’Challa’s left and gave him a nod saying “yes, with this plan more students will be able to go to any college of their choice. This way people will be debt and stress-free.”

As everyone took turns, N’Jadaka sat there thinking about his girlfriend back home. He thought of how she smiled and her nose will scrunch up. He thought of how her laugh was so cute and contagious. How when they fall asleep, she massages his scalp. How with her she didn’t have to be a tough guy all the time but instead be a teddy bear. Before you know it, the meeting had ended and Aunt Ramonda noticed him. “Looks like you are distracted, son? Is everything okay?” Shuri giggled and said, “it’s because he is in loveeeeeeee.” He gave her a side-eye and half-smirk as he said “hush, princess.” The Queen then asked him “well, I would like to see what she looks like. She might be my daughter in law one day.”

“I have seen her, mother and she is beautiful”, T’Challa chimed in as his cousin stood with phone in hand. The lock screen was taken at the fair and Y/N was on his back as the setting sun kissed their skin; they both had huge smiles on their faces. “She is amazing. I wish we can meet her in person.” Just like that, his phone vibrated and it was a facetime call from the woman herself. “Hey, baby girl.” Y/N was sitting on her front porch with Leslie between her legs putting box braids in her hair. “Hi, baby boy. Are you still busy”; Leslie held the phone up for her. “Nah, we just ended the meeting and we just chillin’ now.” Shuri peeked over her cousin’s shoulder and waved. “Hello, Y/N. I am Shuri. I have heard lots about you.” Her cousin looked back at her then to the screen; he knelt down and began pointing to everyone. “This is M’Baku, We been cool since high school. He look like he was a jock but he was a big ol’ nerd. This is my cousin/brother T’Challa. He a cornball. You seen Shuri. She obsessed with science and this woman is my aunt Ramonda. When my mom passed and we moved back here, she was like my moms.”

“It’s nice to meet you all”, Y/N said with a big smile. They all talked as if it was hours and before they knew it he was climbing into bed and she was in the bathroom brushing her teeth and washing her face, still on Facetime. She was using charcoal paste and mouthwash before putting her paper sheet face mask on. “Baby girl, what the fuck is that,” he asked pointing to her face. She giggled and said, “I’m making sure I look good for my baby.”

“Baby girl, yo ass always look good,” he said with a smirk and she smiled feeling her chunky cheeks heat up. “I do not”, she said in a cute timid voice. He sat up in bed as he told her “what I tell you about saying shit like that? Yo ol cute ass better hush.” She flicked her bathroom light off before she sat in the bed across from her phone and brought out her smokers kit that he gave her; baggy of weed, grinder, and honey blunt paper. He also sat up and started rolling too and they both took a huge puff. “So, what you wanna do when you come back out?”

“Well, we can do our weekly movie night like always, order some uber eats and chill.” Y/N let another cloud above her head and said “how about I sleepover? I can pack an overnight bag and in the morning we can go to iHop or something.” He nodded and said “bet”; they smiled and the next morning, they were still sleeping on Facetime.

It was finally Friday morning and N’Jadaka stood in front of the ship in an all-black sweatsuit. His aunt stood with her hands on his shoulders and looked into his face. “Your parents and your uncle would be very proud of you. I am very proud of you my son.” He wiped her single tear and kissed his cheek. “I will be back in three months and that time, Y/N will be here along with me. I love you, auntie.” He kissed her cheek and she said: “I love you too, my son.” N’Jadaka stood in front of Shuri and she looked to the side. “C’mon, sis. I will be back, aight. Don’t make me hug you.” Shuri looked at her cousin rolled her eyes. She kissed his cheek and wrapped her arms around his waist. “I want one anyways”; he hugged his cousin back and gave T’Challa and M’baku dap. “Take care of them”. He stood at his ship and looked over at his family, royal officials and the Dora Milaje. He stood before them, did the Wakanda salute and they yelled “WAKANDA FOREVER”; they yelled back with cheers and he boarded his flight. He sat there as he enjoyed the view above when he started to think about Y/N. He checked his phone to see a message that made him smile.

“Can’t wait to shower you with kisses”.

When he arrived home, he stepped out of his clothes and into the warm shower bathing. He began thinking about his girlfriend as he lied his back against the cold wall. He thought about how he was attracted to her, not only physically but mentally and emotionally. He thought about how their first kiss went. How he sucked in her tongue and the way she bit his lip with a smirk. How they were chest to chest, pelvis to pelvis.

He felt his manhood harden as he wrapped his hand around it but something else took its place; something wet and warm. When he looked down, he saw his baby girl’s brown eyes looking up at him and her soft lips wrapped around his thick, eight inches. Her hands slid up and down his body slowly as he ran his hands ran through her locs. She sat on her knees as the water ran down her body and hair. Her eyes were in his the entire time as she slowly twirled her neck and head. Her throat felt so good, he wondered what else did too. “Fuck, that feel good as fuck, baby girl. That’s how you feel?” She hummed with a wink when he shuttered with a hiss. His eyes closed with his head back but heard pop followed by.

“Daddy, why aren’t you watching me?”

He looked down at her as she still looked at his eyes, stroking him slowly. He smirked and said “I’m sorry, baby. Go ahead”. She smiled and slowly kissed all over his thighs before sliding her throat down as her tongue enveloped the bottom. He said plenty of things like a string of curses in different languages as he thrust into her mouth. She grabbed his hands, placed them on the sides of her head and said “go ahead, daddy. I’m all yours.”

He nodded and gently held on to her locks as she placed her hands on top. They kept their eyes on each other as he pleased himself with her pretty mouth. He noticed her eyes watering but she was surely a fighter. “Fuck, I-I’m about to- to. Where you want it baby girl?” She went faster taking him out then back in her throat. Out then in. Out then in when he finally released his manly nectar down her throat as his eyes closed with a groan escaping his lips. She giggled and said, “Daddy, open your eyes.”

When he did, he noticed he was in the shower alone, hand covered with himself and the huge load on the shower door. “Ah Shit.” He cleaned up and stepped out to see he got a text; “around the corner.” He walked around to the front door in nothing but a white v-neck, gray sweats and dreads tossed to the side. He saw Y/N’s car pull up through the window and saw her outfit. A white crop top sweater with booty shorts and the “icee” Nike’s he bought her. Her locs were down and tossed to the side as she grabbed her backpack; running to the front door like a little kid getting picked up by their mommy with McDonald's.

N��Jadaka opened the door just in time and caught her when she jumped in his arms. Her legs wrapped around her waist as she showered him with all the sweet kisses he missed so much. “Mmm, I see someone missed me, huh”, he mentioned as her lips went to his. “Did someone miss me”, she asked with a slight pout and he said “ of course, I missed my favorite girl. Little cute ass.” She got down and had her arms around his neck as he had his around her waist.

“Damn, you look good”, he spun her in a circle and smacked her behind watching it jiggle, making her snort and giggle. “Stawp, you made me snort, jack ass,” she said as he laughed with his hand to his mouth. He took her backpack and set it down before wrapping his arms around her fluffy waist. “So, baby. What you got a taste for”, he asked her and she said “a shower. I have been running around and all so I need it. I feel like I need to. I will be right back.” She grabbed her bag and began walking to his bedroom’s bathroom.

He heard the shower start and realized she went on without a towel so he went through the linen closet and grabbed two; for bathing. When he stepped, he saw the steam dance around the bathroom and he saw the faint silhouette as she bathed, suds falling. He imagined how her thighs wrapped around his skull as his dick hardened again. He noticed the arch in her back as she bent down and imagined how it would feel with her fluffiness bouncing off on him. He wanted to step in that shower and put his mouth on her lower lips but he stopped the urge.

N’Jadaka knocked on the red-painted door and said “aye, baby. I brought you a towel.” She peeked her head through the door and smiled. “Awe, thank you, baby. Can you put it on the sink for me?” He placed it down and said, “if you need anything, let me know.” She looked at him and down and said: “come eat this pussy real quick.” He blinked slowly and said “huh?”

“I asked can you pass me my body oil real quick. I can’t reach it.” He chuckled and had to think of something quick as he passed her the oil. “Say please, next time. I’ll be on the couch.”, she giggled as he left. He sat on the couch waiting for her as she got dressed. He was watching Tom and Jerry when he felt arms wrapping around his neck and kisses on his temple. N’Jadaka rubbed her arm as she made her way around. She wore an oversized, long Lost Tribe tee he bought her and boy shorts. “Look at my baby. Come here”, he sat her on his thigh and began kissing into her neck.

She wrapped around his neck and moaned slightly. “Damn, I missed you girl. You just don’t know.” Y/N giggled and as she kissed his cheek. “I missed you too baby. I was, of course, stuck with Shay the entire time”. His lips covered Y/N’s. “Baby, please no Kesha talk in here. Talk about something else.” She looked into his face and rubbed his back. “Ok, baby? How was your flight?

“Man, long. But I’m glad I’m back though. I can be all over you like I want to”. N’Jadaka started to kiss all over her neck and she giggled. “Baby, I want you to try something. I was looking on Amazon and saw this cute machine. Hold on. Lemme go get it.” She hopped off his lap and ran for the bedroom. When she came back, she had a steam machine in her hands. “I was thinking about doing facials for a little extra money. It would be great when I start the shop up.” N’Jadaka nodded as he sat back while Y/N got everything ready. She sat between his legs, back facing him and on her knees. She reached over the table to lay out everything and he noticed how her shirt kept rising up. Her behind looked so good that he wanted to bite into. Her thick thighs, he wanted to smother himself with them as he held his tongue against her clit.

“Ok, baby. Lay on the couch for me. Here”, she placed a pillow and helped him get comfortable. She placed the steamer on his end table where his face would be and grab some gloves. “Okay, so the steam is going to open all of your pores so that we can get all the bad stuff out.” She kissed his lips as she turned on the machine and sat beside his face on her knees. She pulled out a case of extraction tools and began. “Baby, why are you handsome”, she asked and she saw his chest move. “I guess I’m one of the lucky ones, baby girl.”

“I guess so”, she smiled but realized she forgot a tool; it was on the other side of the table and when she reached for it, it rolled to the other side of the floor. “Fuck. Hold on, baby”, she said, getting up. When he looked to his left, she was bent all the over. Her behind was in full display with her legs parted. He slowly sat up and got closer. He can see her beautiful print on full display and all. “Damn”, he mouthed to himself as he crouched down. “Almost go it”, she said and he smirked. “You gonna get it all right”, he said as he pulled her panties to the side. “Daka, what are you doing?”

“Shhh, baby. Lemme take care of you, aight”, he said before he kissed her right butt cheek while rubbing her pearl in small, slow circles. “Oh my God”, she hummed and held on to the table. He smacked her butt and she yelped out loud, making him deviously smirk. He used his strong hands to spread her cheeks apart to expose her special holes a lotus flower. He bit on her right cheek then the left, let a string of saliva on to her backdoor hole, rubbing it and began sucking on her sweet, moist vagina.

“Ugh, fuck. That feels so good. Please don’t stop,” Y/N moaned it was like music to his ears. He used his wide tongue to lap her up and inserted it inside. He flicked his tongue inside of her tight hole as she mewled over and over again. Covering her whole lips into his mouth before, made her quiver right in front of him. His chuckling sent a shock up her body that made her cum all over his mouth. He smacked her backside roughly before standing up letting his hard inches smack up against her. He used the cum in his mouth to lube up her starfish and slowly eased his thumb on his right hand while he gently pushed himself inside her aching core.

“Please fuck me, daddy. I need it”, she moaned loudly and he did what she asked. “I’m about to get all in this pussy tanight. Ima have yo cute ass gushing all over this dick. Gonna be makin’ love all night and you gonna take all my love, right”, he asked as he pounded into her. She only could moan so he yanked her head up to bring her back to his chest and whispered into her ear. “C’mon, baby. Tell me you want it. Lemme hear that sexy ass voice.”

“I want it, daddy. Please, can I have it? I need it pleaseeee”, she moaned and he placed her knees on the couch. He reached under her shirt to kneed her breasts and felt her nipples harden to his touch. “Fuck, ol’ sexy ass. Been wanting you like this since we met. Shiiiiiiit got a nigga feein’ like a muthafucka in here. Big, juicy, thick ass. These big ass titties. Wide ass hips and that pretty ass face. Got me feeling like a king in this pussy, huh, Princess?”

“Yes, daddy. You’re the king of this pussy. Fuck take this pussy”, she said and he pulled her arms back and kissed her neck as she came all over his dick. “Damn, you takin’ me so well, huh? Ol’ pretty ass. Look at all that fucking, cream on this dick.” She held his neck and said “daddy, fuck my ass, please. Please fuck my ass.” He turned her on the back and eased into her second hole make her grab onto his shirt. he placed her legs in the air as he pounded into her. “Play with that pussy for me”, he commanded her and she did as she was told. She vigorously rubbed on her clit as he watched. “Mmmmm, daddy. That shit feels good.” He looked into her face as her eyes were low and on his.

He can feel himself become undone when she said “Daka, Daka, Daka!”

“Baby, you okay”, Y/N said and N’Jadaka opened his eyes. He was still on the couch, steam machine on and all. “I must of did well because you were knocked out cold. They gonna love this”, she said cleaning up and passed him a mirror. She cleaned off her tools and packed everything instead of her face mask kit. They both sat in Aztec face masks on the couch, cuddling and watching Bob’s Burgers. She lied on his chest as he massaged her scalp. “Daka, I’m hungry”, she said and he looked at her. “How long we gotta be in these masks for?”

“Twenty more minutes,” she said and he got an idea. “Put some clothes on.” She threw on some leggings and her sneakers while he slid on his slides; they also put on the matching hoodies before leaving. She rolled up a blunt for them and took a puff before holding to his lips. She sat back with her hoodie on and watched the light past by, holding his hand. They arrived at Ramona’s and walked inside. Customers looked at them in confusion but said nothing when the couple gave them the death stare. They order red chile burritos and dined in the car on the way back, laughing at the stares they got.

They arrived home, washed their faces and lied in bed, looking at the ceiling fan as they held each other. “Baby, I’ve been to ask you. My client gave me an invite her wedding and gave me a plus one. Do you wanna come?” He leaned over and kissed her forehead. “Of course, princess. When is it?”

“September 18th, the colors are burgundy, navy blue and cream.”

“Aight, bet. We can get up tomorrow and got get some shit. I gotta make sure my baby look good like she always does.” She kissed his lips and lied against him with her thigh on him. He wrapped his arm around her neck as she drifted off to sleep and rubbed the skin on her leg. N’Jadaka, rubbing her thigh and lied there thinking about Y/N. How it would be when they finally take the next level but for now he just enjoyed holding and kissing all over her. That level would have to wait... for now.

*𝒯𝒜𝒢𝒢𝐸𝒟 𝐿𝒪𝒱𝐸𝒮*

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zzizzigom · 7 years

Text

Family — Wonho AU | Part Six

A/N: what is pacing? what is a story line? don’t ask me, cause I don’t know. Sorry this took so long to get out OTL but I hope you all enjoy it and I apologize for any mistakes I missed while editing!! (๑•̀ㅂ•́)و✧

Genre: fluff/ light angst?

Characters: Wonho x Reader

Word Count: 2630

Parts: Prologue / I / II / III / IV / V / VII

I can’t believe I agreed to this, you kept thinking to yourself. In front of you Ahreum sat and picked at a salad silently. Having eaten beforehand you were left to sit there awkwardly and wait. Wonho was to drop off Mari after he picked her up from school and then your day of what you considered to be the most awkward case of babysitting ever would begin.

With a soft sigh you crossed your legs and picked up your cup to sip your water. Ahreum took another bite and then the only side between you two was of crunching lettuce. You made a quick mental note to give Wonho hell for convincing you to do this later.

“I’m surprised you agreed,” Ahreum suddenly spoke, as if reading your mind.

“I didn’t want to.” Your response is blunt and rude but you don’t really care right now. Ahreum lets out a soft chuckle and continues eating her food.

You look out the window and see a familiar car pull up and soon Wonho and Mari are exiting the vehicle. You can’t help the smile that blooms across your face as you watch them hold hands and Mari begins to skip towards the cafe door.

Catching your change in demeanor Ahreum looks over her shoulder and also smiles at the sight. However, you catch something sad in her eyes and you know it’s because she’s aware she’s not a part of that.

The bell on the door chimes as they enter and Mari’s face lights up even more into that beautiful smile she’s inherited from her father. She darts forward, letting go of her father’s hand and runs up to you. You could’ve sworn you saw Ahreum start to open her own arms and stop before she could be left hanging. Pity ran through you and you gave her a small, thin lipped smile as you pull Mari into your lap.

“Hello, Ahreum…” Mari said shyly. She still didn’t know quite how to address the other woman, and after asking you, you had told her to do what felt right. Ahreum smiled gently at Mari.

“Hello, Mari. How are you today?”

“Okay,” she replies as Wonho takes a seat in an empty chair. “I got a hundred percent on my math test today!”

“Good job, squirt!” You exclaim and slightly bounce her on your lap. She beams at your compliment.

“So what are your plans today?” Wonho asks, his voice nonchalant. However, a quick glance at him and you can tell he’s more than nervous, his shoulders and posture stiff. He’s leaned back in the chair to give the appearance of relaxed but instead he looks as if he’s on the uphill incline of a rollercoaster, tensed for the impending downfall.

“I was thinking a movie, if Mari could find one she wanted to see.” Ahreum looked to Mari with a slightly hopeful look.

“I think that could be fun,” you respond. “How ‘bout it, Mari?”

The girl in question nods her head. “Let’s go see Beauty and the Beast!”

Ahreum breaks into a grin at Mari’s acceptance of her plans and nods in agreement. At a soft touch of your arm you glance over to find Wonho motioning with his head to talk to you. Ahreum catches the movement and watches silently as you set Mari down into your chair and follow Wonho to stand outside the door of the café.

“Thank you for doing this.” Wonho starts. “I know you don’t want to but I appreciate it more than I can say.”

When you had brought up Ahreum’s proposal of chaperoning in his stead, Wonho was eager to agree. He claimed you would do just as good of a job making decisions as he would. It had taken you days of Wonho trying to convince you before you finally agreed. Despite wanting the parents to figure it out for themselves, you realized you were just as big a part of this as either of them.

You nod on nibble on your bottom lip. “This is going to be so awkward.”

Wonho smiles and takes your hands in his own. “You’ll do fine. Come on.”

He leads you back into the café, one of his hands still in your own. Back at the table he ruffles Mari’s hair and she grins up at her father.

“Hey, princess, I’m going to head out now. You all good?”

Mari nodded. “Yes! I’m excited.”

Wonho grins. “Good. I’ll meet you and Y/N at home later tonight, okay?”

Mari nods again and Wonho leans down to kiss the top of her head. He lets go of your hand only to give Mari a quick hug before he’s once again slipping his fingers into your own. With a smile he turns to you and presses a kiss to your cheek. Still leaning in he whispers, “Thank you. I love you.”

With a smiling breaking out on your face you lean back and nod at his words. Your eyes are bright enough that Wonho can see the response in your eyes.

Before he walks away, Wonho turns to Ahreum. “It was good to see you again. I’ll see you later.” Ahreum only nods at his words.

Once Wonho is gone, you settle in his chair and before you can say anything Ahreum speaks.

“You two look good together.”

You blink at the compliment, never expecting her to say something like that. You regain yourself quickly. “Thank you.”

At the theater, you perused through the candy choices. Ahreum and Mari were nearby reading the menus trying to decide on a drink choice. After a while they joined you and you smiled as you spotted Mari’s favorite – Skittles.

As you picked up the box you heard Ahreum let out an “Ah!” She pulled a bag of candy off the rack and held it out to Mari.

“How about chocolate peanut butter cups?”

Mari nibbled on her lip and shook her head. “I can’t have those.”

Ahreum’s brows rose. “Why not?”

She caught Mari’s glance towards you and then turned over her shoulder to look at you. You could see exasperation in her eyes. “My daughter’s not allowed to have these?”

You shake your head. “No. Mari’s allergic to peanuts.” Realization dawned over Ahreum’s face and she paled slightly at the thought of what could’ve happened. You pursed your lips for a moment before turning to Mari with a smile. “I found the Skittles!”

Mari’s face once again lights up. “Yay! Can I also have an icee? Cherry flavor? Ahreum and I want to match.”

You grin. “Of course. Let’s go get in line.”

Mari darts off towards the line but before you can follow her a hand catches your arm. You look over to find Ahreum looking hesitant. “Y/N…I didn’t know.”

“It’s okay,” you say. “Now you do.”

After the movie, you’re walking along side Ahreum and Mari, the child between the two of you. She’s gushing about everything she loved about the fairy tale movie. Once the three of you made it outside, you led the group over to the side of building so you could dig your keys out of your purse.

Ahreum did the same but came up short. She clicked her tongue. “I think I dropped my keys in the theater somewhere. I’ll be right back.”

You nodded and then she was jogging off back to the theater. With the night settling it, it brought a chill to the air, and you gently pulled Mari closer to you to tightened her jacket around her torso. As you stood back up, a man walking past the two of you stumbled on his own feet and bumped into Mari.

Quick to react you placed your hand in between Mari’s head before it could slam in to the brick wall of the building. You winced as pain shot through your hand but ignored it to pull Mari closer to you. The man, caught off guard by his fall, stumbled once more when you pulled Mari away from him. When he regained his footing he shot the two of you an icy glare.

“How about you watch it?” He sneered at you. “Keep your kid controlled.”

Your face immediately fell into a frown. “Excuse me? Maybe watch where you’re going.”

“If you were a good parent and kept an eye on your child maybe we wouldn’t be having this conversation. What’s the brat still doing out anyway, a good parent would have their kid in bed by now.”

With a scoff you rolled your eyes at his “good parent” insults. “A good parent defends their child from scum like you who can’t own up when they make a mistake. If you want to be the better person that badly then just walk away. Otherwise I want an apology for almost slamming my daughter’s head into a brick wall.”

The man looks like he’s about to say something but then decides otherwise. Instead he scuffs his shoe against the ground, kicking up dirt and dust at your own feet. You watch him with an unimpressed quirk of your brow as he walks away.

“What an asshole,” Ahreum’s voice cuts through the air as she comes up next to you. You cut her a stern glance and she looks at you in confusion before she lets out a soft gasp. She looks down at Mari with a wide eyed look but the young girl only giggles.

“It’s okay,” she says. “I’ve heard Daddy say that sometimes.”

You sigh in exasperation but gently brush back the hair from Mari’s forehead. At the movement, you wince and pull your hand back to inspect it. Mari catches the action and her face turns worried.

“Mommy, are you okay?”

“Yeah, I’m okay.”

“Huh? Yeah I’m…oh.”

Both you and Ahreum had answered at the same time. You shoot a glance towards Ahreum and find her frowning at the ground before she takes a small step back. Studying her actions, you can’t help but notice the difference in her personality all day. She was behaving meekly whereas the Ahreum you’d always known was cutthroat and hard to approach. As if reading your thoughts, Ahreum caught your glance and rolled her eyes indignantly. You let out a soft laugh and glanced at Mari.

“Mari how would you like to have dinner with Ahreum tonight?”

Both of them look at you, Mari in excitement and Ahreum in shock.

“Can I really?”

“Yeah, it’ll be just the two of you, if that’s okay?”

Mari nods vigorously. Ahreum, seemingly taken aback, asks, “Are you sure?”

The younger once again nods. Ahreum looks at you and bites the inside of her cheek. “What about Wonho?”

“It’ll be okay. Wonho said I could make the decisions I see fit. I think it’ll be good for the two of you to have some alone time. But Mari needs to be back before nine. She has school in the morning.”

Ahreum nods almost as vigorously as Mari and you smile at the similarity. “Okay. I’ll make she’s back in time.”

Back at Wonho’s apartment you placed the ice pack on your hand and sighed at the relief. After feeling around your hand you figured it was just bruised. In the silence of the apartment, you pull your feet under you on the couch and used your free hand to scroll through social media for a while.

At the sound of the door opening you set your phone down and smiled at Wonho as he stepped into the living room. His eyes immediately zeroed in on the ice pack on your hand. “What happened?”

He rushes over and takes your hand in his to lift the ice off and inspect your hand.

“Nothing, I bumped it against the wall. It’s just a bruise.” You let out a small lie, there’s no use in getting him upset about something that’s already over.

Despite your words, he continued to study your hand to come to his own conclusion. When he seemed to find a trip to the hospital unnecessary, Wonho placed the ice pack back on your hand but continued to hold it.

“Where’s Mari?”

“Her and Ahreum are having dinner together.” The grip on your hand tightens ever so slightly and you look over to find anxiety filling Wonho’s eyes. Reaching forward with your free hand you brush stray strands of hair from Wonho’s forehead. “It’s okay. Ahreum promised to bring her back before nine.”

“What if…”

“No,” you cut him off, gently but still stern. “Because if she doesn’t bring her back, you can bet I’ll be out there finding our daughter.” Suddenly Wonho’s face broke into a huge grin. “What?”

“You said our daughter.”

With a soft blush you scoff. “Well what else would I call Mari?”

“It sounds good coming from you,” Wonho replied pulling you closer and resting his chin on your shoulder.

The two of you talked about everything and nothing, just enjoying the company you gave each other. Every now and then Wonho would get up and replace the melting ice in your pack with a fresh bunch. All the while you kept an eye on the clock and around 8:30 there was a knock at the door.

Wonho was quick to stand up and head for the door. You, on the other hand, took a slower pace at standing and following him to the door. You stood back and watched as Mari darted forward to wrap her arms around her father’s waist. Wonho didn’t hesitate in picking her up and resting her on his hip.

“Thank you,” was all Wonho said before nodding his head at Ahreum and turning into the apartment. You gave Ahreum a look at Wonho’s behavior but she waved it off.

“It’s fine. I actually wanted to talk to you anyway.”

You lift your brows and nod before stepping out the door to join her in the hallway.

“I just wanted to say I saw you defending Mari from that guy earlier and I wanted to thank you for that. When I went out with Wonho and Mari the last time they would constantly bring you up and talk about how good of a mother you were. It made me angry because there was no way someone would want to take care of someone else’s daughter, especially if you hated the mother. But what I saw tonight, I can tell you really do love Mari like a mom and that’s all I wanted for her.”

“I don’t hate you,” you reply after thinking for a moment. “Sure I wouldn’t consider us friends, but I don’t hate you. I never did.”

“I hated you,” Ahreum admits. “When I met Wonho in high school I was so sprung on him. I loved the attention he gave me and he was so warm. But when I saw how he was with you I knew I could never compete. You would never guess how surprised I was when he asked me out instead of you. But even then I knew how you felt about him and always saw you as a threat.

“And now here you are taking care of my daughter. God, I was so pissed. But Y/N you take such good care of her. You’ve done such a good job…I could’ve never done that. And that’s why I left. I wanted a life for myself and selfishly left everyone behind to attain it.”

“Ahreum,” you interject. She looks up at you, her eyes glossy. “You messed up in the past, we all know that. But you now have a chance to make up for it. Take that chance and don’t mess up this time.”

Her nod is hesitant but still there.

“Good night, Ahreum.”

“Good night, Y/N.”

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