#but i cant be and im alone and just. depressed | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

king-sassy08 · 11 months

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Bro. Does anyone else feel hopeless

#like.#Palestine #capitalism #system racism #its all eating me alive. im doing what i can but. its not enough im just one man.#all i can do is be kind and help the people i can.#i know its enough for one person to do. to make a man a sandwich or give a friend a ride.#to give the person at the window a tip and hold the door open for others.#but its like. im so hopeless its not enough. the world is getting worse akd worse.#i feel like im living in one of those dystopian movie opening montages #war genocide famine natural disaster disease global warming #its KILLING me.#and on top of all that i have genetic depression its not just environmental #and im like. just shut up and be happy #but i cant be and im alone and just. depressed #idk.#jay rants #jay rambles #jay jabbers #i know this isnt just me feeling this way but i still feel isolated nd i blame capitalism & our government and i think we should [redacted]

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maggot-baggage · 6 months

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Methinks its time to move back home actually

#i talked to my aunt about it and honestly like. i might as well #im broke im in a bunch of debt i have no access to medical insurance so i cant get therapy im alone depressed and my bills are always late #and ive been stuck in my apartment for months bc of this ridiculous registration shit for my car #so as much as i dont want to sell my car OR move im. thinking about it now #like at least id have the house almost to myself since my sibling moved out #and i could make the upstairs my own pretty much. plus ive been meaning to jelp renovate up there so #why not #plus i can save for tattoo stuff properly #i just feel like im giving up i was trying to prove i could care for myself and #I feel like ive proven km incapable pf being an adult bc of this it sucks #but at least my ma and my aunt are willing to help me as i figure shit out. im lucky to have them #mag.txt

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nuppu-nuppu · 1 year

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Ignore if you don’t want to read about me being stupid once again

#pls dont read if you cant handle venting and whining #once again i am here to say that i am the loneliest person alive and i feel like i can’t grasp the basic consept of friendship and do it lol #like idk how to be friends #i feel like i will forever be sad and lonely #and i know everyone will say you can talk to me and i know that but i’ve just been by myself for so long that i don’t remember how to have #actual conversations with people i feel like i am disconnected from reality #i feel like i am an extremely unlikeable person and that’s why i was all alone in highschool and idk i am oversharing on the internet again #because it’s the only place i kind of feel safe doing it #pls take care of yourselves first before comfoting me or anything im sorry i sound very pathetic #how do i start living again #how does one live anyway #im just in my head all the time #this was supposed to be hot girl summer but it’s once again summertime sadness #im so stupid!!!#im so anxious and depressed that i dont know what to do with myself #im so sorry for oversharing i have a therapist dont worry im kind of taking care of myself #but the eternal loneliness just wont let me go #idk how to be a person anymore #i’m just sad #thinking of going to a church and pretend to be a believer so i could have a community again lol

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lunar-wandering · 1 year

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I genuinely think so many people have forgotten the fact of "there are no toxic fandoms, only toxic people".

When fandoms get big, of course the amount of people u want nothing to do with is also gonna get bigger.

Youre not meant to combat them. Youre not meant to talk about them and expose others to them.

Youre meant to block them at the first signs and continue to enjoy your experience interacting with other people.

Kill the weeds, don't let the seeds spread, reap your wheat and enjoy your bread.

#this post brought to you by #me yet again seeing a 'x fandom is awful and toxic'#whilst ive experienced nothing but joy + made most of my current friends through said fandom #im part of that fandom. youre part of that fandom. that fandom brought us together.#you would insult something that created something so beautiful?#just because theres some assholes ALSO in it???#i just. i cant STAND it #its such a fucking generalization #im so fucking tired of 'fandoms are bad' mentalities #yes theres some assholes. most of us dont want them here either #yes theres people being 'cringey'. leave them alone theyre just having fub #fun #fandoms are a COMMUNITY #of people brought together via a common love of one thing #we praise fanfic and fanart for being so creative #but those only truly exist because fandom does #u cant love one and then blatantly insult the other #jeez #im just. i get so depressed when i see those takes #its like. sometimes some of these takes really just give 'people cant have fun anymore'#and other times i see a 'fandom bad!!' take and im just like #u do understand fandom is a community that YOU are meant to build right?#its like how people tell people to curate their dashboard. fandom is the same #block the people u dont like. dont engage with drama. dont make callout posts.#(if u must u can PRIVATELY inform your mutuals if theres some asshole in the community)#fandom is meant to be FUN. A discussion of what people love and an exchange of arts #not continuous arguing over what hcs are correct and stuff #just. god. fandoms arent awful. thats like saying all humans are bad.#just block the assholes. let people have fun. and enjoy yourself.#those are the three rules of fandom.

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mayhasopinions · 11 months

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i cannot believe we just got good omensed somebody sedate me

#THIS CANNOT BE IT. IT CANT #i headcanon that loki goes to see mobi on his days off. like. they cant not see each other again #THEY DIDNT EVEN SAY GOODBYE #just the concept of loki thinking he's unloveable and his greatest fear is being alone and he just #im depressed #lokius #loki season 2 spoilers #loki s2 spoilers #loki #loki s2 #loki laufeyson #mobius m mobius

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bunnihearted · 3 months

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therapy cant fix me because i will still go home and be alone after it

#yeahhhh so i just dont think therapy can fix loneliness #and shut... the... fuck... up with your 'learn to be alone' kys #im alone and lonely every single day and i have been for 10yrs stfu i CAN be alone better than most ppl ever will #i mean take a normal person w any kind of social life and put them in my situation and they'll be depressed af after a week #so just stfu i hate that fucking bullshit #i need connection and closeness. i can get years of therapy #but tbh sitting with some random bitch who only 'cares' abt me bc she's getting paid will only make me feel even more alone.#i dont fkn need therapy i need people #but im always alone whatever i dont care i cant wait to kms anyway thats all i want i'll never have anyone :)))))))

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sharkjumpers · 10 months

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aughhhh (clutches my cursed eye.)

#Sorry to vent on tumblr but i have nowhere else to talk right now:#i was doing so good in school but ive taken a steep decline and it feels like everything is Over and i'm failing. its literally just three #classes. all i can do all day is cry and stare at the wall and i dont feel like anything really at anything i do. i dont know what to do an #its killing me. Im gonna do something that lands me on national television. im in pain all day and have a migraine every day and when i don #im busy sobbing the rest of the time. i know its just because its that time of the year but that doesnt really help me at all. im trying my #hardest and it still isnt enough. Wat am i supposed to do. Theyre putting me down tomorrow.#i have not felt this bad in a while and its not Nice and I Dont Like it and I cant pull myself up. i cry as soon as i wake up. Who is #putting me through some matt murdock depressive episode simulator.#i need help but theres nothing anyone can help with and i dont want to be here*#*here meaning the state i live in.#i am so Alone here.#i feel little and stupid

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dubioushonour · 4 months

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Thinking midnight thoughts.

Thinking I want to go back in time and punch both of my sisters in the face for telling me I was going to die alone at the age of 13 because I wasn't the kind of girl that boys liked.

#it was admittedly a few more things than just that #im just thinking tonight about all the jokes made at my expense #through middle and high school #that i know for a fact neither of them remember #and im still pretty mad about it as an adult #so much of my 20s has been unlearning terrible habits but even more than that #its been trying to convince myself that im not completely unlovable as a person #which is a significantly harder prospect #but god if ever try and actually date i know i have to you know? i have to love myself enough #to set boundaries and not shrink myself and turn off people pleaser npc mode #or else i will die alone you know?#i cant be scared of opening up forever #im not going anywhere with this its just midnight and i am retroactively very mad #my best friend who had to put up with me through covid and one of the top 3 depressive episodes of my life #wouldn't ever say that to me #but heaven forbid i was undiagnosed and mentally ill between the ages of 12-16

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crowned-peony · 1 month

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I am at the point in my life where I have no clue what I want.

It's not that I am not interested in living my life or feel stuck but more in the "I'm not sure what direction to walk in"

I'm standing in a spot and have option of going any direction but no pull to any of them. I rather just sit down.

I think it's that I never thought I get here. I had no plan after 27. I thought that the most I would make it was my golden birthday and call it there. But know I am close to 3 years past and so many of what I dreamed of isn't a possibility.

#i gave up on being a mom my body clearly cant handle it and to be a foster or adopt just too many requirements that seem i cant reach #my mental conditions alone would be an automatic rejection #the career i wanted is out of reach due to the cost of medical school alone #my limited job experience is keeping me from being employed right now #maybe its my depression starting to grow vines and spreading inside me again #im doing things i like but theres no joy or happiness really with it #maybe ill just sit here for a bit maybe it pass or wont im not sure anymore

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g0thsoojin · 2 months

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life shouldnt be this fucking hard

#it breaks my heart to see my mom struggle so much :(#my mom had a rough childhood #and then was stuck with an abusive husband and alone raising 3 kids #she never got any help from anyone #and she struggled so long to finish high school #she's struggled with her mental health a lot too #she has never gotten any help from anyone #and the health care system is a motherfucking joke #the state and government and the entirety of society is a motherfucking joke #and now when she found a program she wants to take that can help her get the job she wants #her application for a student loan was denied #so she cant take that program #and im worried bc she is losing hope more and more everyday #i dont want her depressed :(((( im so worried #and im a deadbeat loser so i cant help her with money at all #i just want to see my mom living a comfortable life and not be depressed i wanna cry #i hate hate hate this world so much i HATE society #i HATE people because people allow this world #ppl LIKE capitalism otherwise we wouldnt have this world #ppl mostly vote for the right. who make everything worse #i fucking hate humans so much there is so much unneccesary suffering #and it is only getting worse and worse #like in the uk normal middle class ppl are becoming homeless in droves bc they cant afford the rent #and in greece ppl are commiting suicide en masse bc its the same there with the economy #and im like WHY dont ppl wake the fuck up #and organize the french revolution.2 worldwide??? why do we accept this? why dont we fight?#im going crazy i just wanna blow ppl up like what the fuck is wrong with society

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theraven1648 · 7 months

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I wish I never existed. It'd be so much easier, so much better if I didn't ever exist. Nobody would have ever had to know me, be hurt by me, annoyed by me, bothered by me, burdened by me. I wouldn't want to die anymore because I would have never lived. It could be over. If my parents had just not had me as their daughter, if they had another daughter, a real daughter, a better daughter. I wouldn't feel the pain anymore, I would feel anything. That's what I want, I don't want to be aware or feeling. I want to be genuinely and literally nothing.

#awful truth #im alone #im not okay #when will the pain end #pain #im done #i want to die #im useless #im tired #im not fine #depression #anxiety #im an error #i want to disappear #i cant do this #i wish it could be over #i wish i never existed #just kill me #im sorry

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holographicbutch · 3 months

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I love when I get home from work and immediately lose all energy and get really cold and don't want to even do the things I enjoy because I'm so tired. Who out there gets me

#maybe its a good thing i had to cancel my weekend plans and then cancel my second weekend plans #i can keep up the momentum at work but when i get home i just lose all motivation to do anything #and tbh its kind of agonizing 🤪#honestly cant wait for my friend to move in w me #were both so depressed and have been living alone for the better part of a year #itll be nice to take the weight off of each others shoulders a bit #anyway. im so tired. i may just get something for dinner i dont want to make anything

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duoibo · 11 months

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vent.

#im jobless a uni drop out and broke and i live with my parents at age 22 and cant drive every decision i make has to go thru my parents i ha #ve no friends i can reach out to and im severely depressed and my ed is coming back lmaoooooo #im also trapped in my own home been rejected from jobs left and right way behind on my big girl tasks andi am also just so so alone and unsu #re of yhe futurr Nd like near tears and sleeping all the time and i dont have any hobbies since i dropped art like 5 years ago and im also #stupid and a lying to everyone that im fine and nothing makes me happy and even shopping i cant think of anythjng id like to buy but even #then i just feel guilty bc im brokeeeee #i just feel all so numb to it all like i was really gonna buy some diet pills even tho ik theyre bad but like aaaaaaaaaaa #and i feel useless

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insanecreetur · 3 months

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I absolutely hate being confrontational or bringing up any issues or worries I have but I have SO. MANY. i'm always anxious about everything everyone is doing to and around me. Why does it feel like I'm being lied to and manipulated 24/7 ??

I know it's because I literally was. for years. but fuck pls brain we're doing better now we're not in those fucking houses anymore we don't have to see or hear them anymore... but then why is it still affecting me so badly?

Surely everyone can't be as bad as they all were... right?

#im so fucking dumb im stuck in this cycle of being alone -> reaching out/opening up -> get hurt -> end up alone. suffering in silence.#i hate that i cant just fucking speak up for myself. i expect everyone to react with abuse like how i was treated before #i know thats not fair to all the genuine kind people but i cant tell whos genuine. ive let too many “kind” people in and take advantage of #everything i had to give. and i just. kept. giving. i had no other choice. it was that or suffer more abuse in abother way.#please i just want help i want to be normal at least a little so i can make real friends that wont hurt me more #im tired of being a victim #vent #insane creetur ramblings #actually mentally ill #bpd #su1c1dal #self h@te #depressing shit #self h@rm #traumatized #k1ll me #bpd splitting #severe mental illness #severe anxiety #actually paranoid #living with cptsd #im tired of existing #k1ll m3

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bunnihearted · 4 months

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🍷

#im in such a bad and low mood :<#it's not just my period hormones 🥴#my wireless headphones worked fine all of yesterday and today when i wake up they're blinking #they're liked fucked up... i turn them off but they constantly turn themselves back on. when i connect them to my ipad they constantly #keep disconnecting and shutting off and turning on 🙃 it makes me so angry bc i need to wear them basically all the time #bc all the noise from neighbors and my family and outside is driving me crazy #but they just dont work anymore?? plus i cant afford new ones... esp now which brings me to my next point #bc of my mom having troubles w school and loans and work etc she was like yeah u guys might have to pay for me this summer so we'll be #proper poor 😄 she doesnt WANT that either but it just sucks bc i got $300 every month and i can barely afford anything as is #yeah so there is no chance of me buying new headphones until at least august or september ......#then im annoyed bc my sisters are passive aggressive 24/7 and hate my existence and my mom is depressed lol #and i have no one to talk to or be with. it's summer and i wanna do stuff but i just dont wanna do it alone lmao #and then im just sad bc of many things.....#also i hate myself bc im a loser failure piece of shit but like yeah that's normal for me to feel #i just hate everything and it's so hard to endure this lame ass existence skskskskks #why cant ANYTHING be good ever in my life??#i am garbage and im surrounded by bad things lmao... anyways can i just stop breathing now pls #and it's not just a 'tiny' thing like my headphones not working like it might seem to others #but when u live a life where NOTHING is good or NOTHING works everything just piles on #ppl dont seem to understand that normally bc most ppl have some good things in their lives #so they just cannot comprehend what it's like when nothing works on any level in your life lok #ofc im depressed ofc im angry and bitter and dejected. i have no good things or moments at all in my life. that tears u down #i mean ofc i could be living in an active warzone and that'd be .. pretty awful i can imagine. but yeah... my situation is still not ideal #like i mean i do actually try to practice gratitude of having a roof over my head my own room water in the pipes and food so i dont starve #i am thankful for that bc many ppl dont even have that #i still feel depressed tho <3 #idk what im talking abt now i just feel SO bad and i have no one to talk to #i have nothing to do... no help no treatment... everyone hates me and wants me dead......#why should i fight when no one cares abt me anyway... well.. i mean i do wanna experience more nature but like idk #im just so exhausted... why cant i ever have smth good in my life that also dont go away after a short while lol

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kuroakikitsune · 3 months

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#having one of those wish i was never born moments #a friend and i were talking and she triggered my anxiety and depression #to be fair my mental state hasnt been great the last few weeks #but she just told me that im not thinking hard enough and that its easy to move to a new city and get a new job #as if easy as walking #not everyone is outgoing and has a boyfriend who is earning a heap of money and can rely on his paycheck #if i move i have no where to live and no job #i cant afford to take expensive risks like she can #tonight i was actually feeling really positive and good until i talked with her #now im depressed and need to get up early to go to my deadend job #i feel so trapped.#i think im developing gad and i feel so alone #i hate myself and i hate my life

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