#but i don't know how to explain that i already came to terms with it and don't need/want them coddling me

[myokk]

before it felt like a sin, ch. 4

ch.1, ch.2, ch.3

pairing: Sebastian Sallow x f!MC

word count: 3000

summary: Eloise never wanted to be different.

And yet, her differences are what have defined her life up until this point: growing up as a squib in one of the most prominent wizarding families, being exiled to muggle society, and then attending Hogwarts at the age of sixteen.

She finds herself thrust into the life she should have been prepared for from birth but was denied. As she navigates this new life and her new precarious position in her family, she must come to terms with the fact that maybe what she dreamed of her whole life isn't turning out how she ever expected it would.

a/n: or: Sebastian is a gremlin bahahahahahahahahahhaahahaha

I want to reiterate that this fic is REALLY CANON DIVERGENT!!!!! I will NOT be following the game’s plot at all really with this (it really starts to diverge around chapter 6/7 maybe I don’t remember), and I don’t see Eloise as the game’s MC either.

"SEBASTIAN SALLOW!"

Eloise jumped at the ferocity of the voice, and looked up as the boy in question was bounding down the steps of the Entrance Hall. He came to a quick halt as he reached her.

"Eloise! Fantastic to see you. Come along then, we must be off on our excursion to Hogsmeade."

He glanced over his shoulder as he grabbed her by the hand, using his other to push open the door. Eloise was so flabbergasted by his behavior that she completely forgot the mortification she had felt right before his arrival.

When Professor Weasley had put her on the spot and asked her who she would like to accompany her to Hogsmeade, of course she had said Sebastian. Natsai was nice, of course, but she had spent more time with Sebastian and felt comfortable around him. What she hadn't known however, was that Professor Weasley was going to leave that very moment to find Sebastian and that he was going to be pulled away from whatever he was doing to escort the new girl to Hogsmeade. She had been waiting in the Entrance Hall, wondering if it would be possible to vanish in mid-air from embarrassment alone when Sebastian made his arrival.

"It's nice to see you too, Sebastian," Eloise said as she was dragged across the grounds. "But...I was preparing my apology for you right before you arrived...I-I didn't know that it was going to be so..."

"Nonsense!" he interrupted, looking behind them again. His face was flushed and his hair particularly unruly. Apparently not liking what he saw, he picked up the pace considerably as a look of alarm spread across his face.

"SEBASTIAN SALLOW!" Sebastian's face paled as his name was called out again, and he broke into a run, bringing Eloise with him.

"Come on! I can't let her catch me." Eloise chanced a glance back and saw a stern looking woman walking briskly towards them.

"But Sebastian, it's just an old lady," she protested. Her shoes weren't fit for running and she was already feeling a bit uncomfortable. "Why can't we slow down?"

"Hah, just an old lady," he scoffed. "That, my friend, is Madam Scribner, and the reason why I am currently running. She is not one to be taken lightly."

"Sebastian," Eloise panted. She really needed to find a way to get in shape; dancing waltzes had been her main form of exercise for the last few years and it hadn't prepared her to be sprinting away from Hogwarts like this. They were nearing a bend in the road, and she pulled on his hand to slow him down. "Please explain."

"Oh, very well. I was just in the library, humbly trying to study, when all of a sudden the librarian decided she didn't like the look of whatever it was I was doing. As she was walking over to no doubt give me detention, I was saved by Professor Weasley and I beat a hasty retreat. Alas," he added, sighing dramatically. "It seems I wasn't quick enough because she managed to follow me."

Eloise giggled. They had slowed to a halt and were standing in the middle of the path.

"Well, it certainly seems we've lost her now."

"I don't think she can spend too much time away from the library or she loses some of her life force," confided Sebastian. He looked down and noticed he was still holding her hand, which he promptly dropped. Both of them colored slightly and he cleared his throat loudly. "Anyways, we can keep going. I apologize if my escort services have been unsatisfactory up until now."

This more leisurely pace - Madam Scribner had apparently given up on her chase - allowed Eloise to now take in their surroundings and they took her breath away. To their left was a huge, dense forest, but it was their right that captured her attention. Hogwarts was beautiful. The castle seemed to grow out of the rocky outcropping it was built on, perfectly blending in with its surroundings. The Black Lake sparkled under the late summer sunlight. Birds were singing in the background, and small groups of students occasionally passed them.

"Beautiful, isn't it?"

Eloise glanced at Sebastian, who was watching her. She nodded and turned her gaze back to Hogwarts. This was what she had always dreamed of. "I can't believe I'm actually here."

Sebastian just smiled in response.

"So," Eloise said after a while. "Researching forbidden topics in the library?"

"Oh yes," Sebastian replied, nodding. "It's one of the only worthwhile things you can actually learn at this school, and for some reason all of the best information is hidden away in the restricted section. Why even have the books at all if nobody's allowed to actually look at them?"

"You know? I completely agree with you," Eloise said, thinking back on her own childhood. Her family had an extensive library built up for generations, and her parents certainly never paid attention to what she was reading. Although most of what she had read had been age appropriate, she had gotten her hands on some books on dark magic.

They had been infinitely more interesting to her. She didn't know if it was the subject matter itself, or the thrill of reading something she knew was forbidden. "Some of the most interesting books I've read have been about topics that most would consider taboo."

"Maybe you could accompany me sometime then," Sebastian said, looking sideways at Eloise with a smile. "I haven't found many like-minded individuals during my time at Hogwarts."

"Maybe I will. Oh!"

A flurry of black creatures broke out of the treetops of the forest to their left.

"Thestrals," Sebastian said. "You can see them too? Most people would just see the trees moving and assume it was a sudden gust of wind."

"It's a fairly recent development." Eloise still felt guilty for how she didn't feel about Mr. Osric's death, and didn't quite know how to respond. "You know how I was attacked by a dragon yesterday? The man who accompanied us was ripped to shreds right in front of me. The thestrals pulling our carriage materialized right in front of my eyes and seeing them is actually how I realized I had just seen a man die."

Sebastian was silent for a while, digesting what she had said. Eloise avoided looking at him, embarrassed by her newfound penchant for oversharing. Stupid, she thought to herself. Why would a boy you just met want to hear about the gory death you witnessed? Who cares if you two were just casually talking about topics that most wouldn't touch with a ten-foot pole? I bet he's already regretting coming with me instead of accepting punishment from -

"That's quite brilliant, actually," Sebastian said, interrupting her thoughts. He immediately blushed and hastily added, "well, not the fact that it happened to you. But, seeing a real dragon up close must have been quite exciting."

"It was," Eloise replied. "I'd only read about them before. In the moment, I wasn't thinking about my life being in danger or about seeing Mr. Osric die. My brain focused on the weirdest things..."

"By the way," Sebastian added. "How do you know about thestrals? Ominis told me you were raised in a muggle orphanage.

At that, Eloise laughed. She didn't know why, but she was quite pleased that Ominis hadn't spilled her secrets, even to his best friend. "Not all of the rumors about me are actually true, you know. And Ominis should know better! We talked last night in the common room, after everyone had gone to bed. He might be the only one who actually knows almost everything."

"That ass! I should have known something was up the way his mouth kept twitching as he spoke," Sebastian said. "But since I saw you two talking so much this morning in the common room, I figured that he probably knew more than the rest of us."

Eloise was mortified. "Did everyone see us talking?"

"Well, you are quite the hot topic among the student body today. Nobody knows anything about the mysterious new girl, but plenty would love to get to know you better. Haven't you been hearing everyone whispering today at all?"

"Honestly, no," Eloise admitted. She didn't really want to know that everyone was talking about her, although she probably could have reached the conclusion had she considered the possibility. She held out her hand and lifted her fingers as she listed things off. "First, I arrived with a bang last night after almost being murdered by a rogue, homicidal dragon. I'm a brand-new fifth-year who has never held a wand before in her life, and I need to make sure I don't fall behind. I'm also focused on besting certain cocky boys in Defense Against the Dark Arts." At that, she shot a sly glance at Sebastian and was pleased to see him smile at that. "So no, I haven't yet found the time to listen to the rumors flying around about me."

"Mark my words, we'll have a rematch soon," Sebastian assured her. "God, I can't believe I was beaten by a girl who never used magic before." This time it was his turn to give her a sly smile before adding, "it must be because I was blinded by her beauty."

They were fast approaching a small covered bridge that led to a lovely little village. Eloise had stopped to gape at Sebastian, who took the opportunity to cross the bridge before her, turning around and raising his arms with a flourish as he walked backwards. "Welcome, fair lady, to Hogsmeade. The only fully magical village in all of Britain! Feast your eyes on the quaint storefronts, the colorful locals, the - ow! What was that for?"

Eloise had caught up to Sebastian and hit him on the arm lightly. "Sebastian, stop," she hissed. "People are looking at us. I've had enough of it for one day."

"Oh, fine," he replied. "I was just trying to give you the full tour like Professor Weasley asked, but since I didn't actually stay to hear what she was telling me, I may have missed a part or two. I shudder to imagine the sort of torture she might come up with if she hears I didn't give this my all."

Eloise was laughing now. "I may have just met her, but I have a hard time imagining that she could come up with anything awful. Besides, I doubt she told you to tell me to break all of the rules, or that you should act like a fool."

"Hey, not fair," said Sebastian, sauntering up the road. "I might be many things, but never a fool. So, what sort of things do you need to pick up today?"

Eloise looked at the list that Professor Weasley had given her. "Well...I lost everything yesterday. So, I need to get a lot. Potion ingredients, textbooks, some more clothes...oh! And I'll finally be getting a wand of my own."

"How about we meet back up in a few hours? I think that should give you enough time to explore Hogsmeade and pick up everything you need. I actually need to run a few errands myself. After, we can inaugurate your first trip to Hogsmeade with a stop at The Three Broomsticks! If you want, I can show you where all the shops are."

"No, it's fine," said Eloise. "I don't want to impose on you too much, and I think I'll enjoy the opportunity to explore without dragging you along with me."

Eloise found herself enjoying her time exploring the village more than she had expected to. Although she had grown up surrounded by magic, there was something being profoundly different about being in an all-magical settlement like this. And the people she ran across seemed genuinely happy.

In her family, there had always been an air of disdain for anyone they considered below themselves, and they hadn't mingled much with others outside of social events. Even the attitude among the muggles she had studied with in the other school had been more elite, those girls having similar qualms about socializing with others. When they had ventured into the closest village on occasion during their daily walks, the girls had always made a point to stick close together and avoid the villagers.

Because of all of this, Eloise found it quite refreshing to be among people without sticking out so much, allowing herself to take her time and explore.

She went to Ollivander's last. Being close to the hour she figured she was to meet up with Sebastian again, it was perfect timing.

Walking through the door, it was immediately apparent that the place was special. The magic was palpable in the air, similar to the feel of Hogsmeade itself but amplified. It almost felt as if Eloise were to reach out, she would be able to cup it in her hands. A shimmery feeling just outside of her perception.

A small bell in the doorway rang as she entered. She looked around the tiny store in awe, realizing that the in the tiny boxes filling the floor-to-ceiling shelves were each filled with a wand. One of the biggest disappointments she had had to overcome as a younger girl had been coming to terms with the fact that she would never be able to own one herself. After Leo had come home from Diagon Alley that first time, brandishing his own wand, Eloise had been filled with a jealousy she hadn't known she was capable of. The jealousy had morphed and turned into something much darker...a simmering resentment...when it had finally been confirmed that she was a squib.

"Oh! I wasn't expecting customers." A small man had come out from behind the counter, blinking at her from behind his spectacles. He gave her a curious look, taking in her appearance. "Normally I have the one rush before the school term starts, but it's always younger children than you. May I help you?"

Eloise smiled at him, too excited about the prospect of finally getting her wand to be annoyed at his blunt tone. "I'm actually just starting Hogwarts now, I don't have my -"

"You must be the new fifth-year I was told about." At this, he beamed at her as he shook her hand with gusto. "It's such a pleasure to meet you. My name is Gerbold Ollivander. I can only count on one hand the number of times I have had the pleasure of matching a wand to an older customer. It's so much more challenging; a young child isn't as set in their ways and is quite malleable, whereas an older student..."

He trailed off as he began to sort through the different boxes surrounding them. Mumbling more to himself than anything, "I need to stop trying to guess what a person is like, but...I wonder..."

"Please put out your arms, miss..."

Eloise obliged, and a tape measure came out from behind the counter to hover around her and take her measurements. It was telling the figures to Mr. Ollivander as he continued to peruse the shelves.

If the air wasn't humming with magic, Eloise rather thought that she might feel claustrophobic in such a cramped, tiny shop. Instead, she felt euphoric. Mr. Ollivander hadn't given her any time to respond and continued to talk to himself as he looked through the different wands. Although he had said that finding the correct wand for her could prove to be challenging, he appeared excited at the prospect rather than apprehensive.

Mr. Ollivander handed Eloise the first wand.

"Pear, nine and three-quarters inches," he said. "Unicorn hair, pliant. Try it out."

As soon as the wand was in her hand, it felt wrong. Ollivander immediately snatched the wand out of her hand and gave her another.

"Try this one. Cherry, phoenix feather, 9 inches."

After many failed attempts, Eloise was beginning to despair. If they couldn't find the wand for her, would she be sent back to the muggle world? Ollivander, on the other hand, was somehow getting even more excited with every wrong wand.

Finally, Ollivander hesitated before giving her the last wand. It was nondescript, very different from some of the flashier looking wands she had tried before. After so many attempts gone wrong - a notable one had filled the shop with a putrid green smoke that took a while to dissipate - she wasn't about to get her hopes up when she saw the slender wand.

When she grabbed the wand from Ollivander, however, she just knew. Feeling the thrill of energy that went through her body at the lightest touch, and seeing the beautiful silvery sparks that sprayed out of her wand when she sliced it through the air were the final confirmation she needed to know that she did actually belong in this world.

She smiled triumphantly, looking at the dark brown wand with newfound joy.

"Very curious indeed," said Mr. Ollivander, regarding Eloise with thoughtful eyes. "Walnut, ten and three-quarters inches, extremely unyielding. A bond with this wand is a bond for life. It has a dragon heartstring core, and I remember the very dragon it came from. Extremely difficult to obtain...I almost died in the process. I've always known that the person who is chosen by this wand will be a very powerful witch or wizard. For good or bad, however...that is the question."

Eloise felt rather unsettled by Mr. Ollivander's sudden change in attitude, but the feeling soon passed. The excitement of finally having a wand of her own and spending the last few hours in Hogsmeade wasn't a feeling she could get rid of that easily. She turned her wand over in her hands, starting to admire its smooth polished surface and lack of design. It was thrumming with power and she was itching to use it.

She smiled at Mr. Ollivander.

"I'll take it."

[chronicbackstabbingdisorder]

Uuuugh anxiety has me wound up so tightly =_= It has been a very stressful couple of weeks and I gotta go to the dentist today and I don't fucking wanna but I already rescheduled twice

[joonsytip]

Only for Love || Mingyu [Teaser]

Pairings: Mingyu x Fem!Reader

Genre: Angst, Fluff, Smut, Husband!Mingyu, Cold Wife!Reader, Arranged Marriage au, Contract Marriage au, Divorce au

Synopsis: When an accidental discovery has your perception of happy married life crumbling down, you do what you think is the best for everyone involved. Naturally, your opinion of the best doesn't cater to your husband's. So what happens when things spiral out due to unforeseen events?

Warnings: Reader is cold but also shy, Mingyu is gullible and impulsive, lack of communication, misunderstanding, miscommunication, reader is objectified once, hurt, crying, profanities, mentions of divorce, sexual intimacy, mentions of pregnancy, rest will be specified under the part when published

Main story out now checkout here!

[ SVT Masterlist ] [ SVT Flick - Fic Masterlist ]

"Let's get divorced."

When Mingyu came home late at night to see you awake and waiting for him, there was an uncanny feeling that settled within.

Your hands are crossed, face void of any expression. If not for your next words, Mingyu would think he's hallucinating.

"We can decide on the terms and clauses, all as per your convenience.", you stress, "I do not expect any trouble from your side."

Mingyu finally registers everything you have said till now and everything hits him all at once.

"W-What are you talking about? Why do you want a divorce all of a sudden?"

Your monotonous tone rather asks him another question, "We have been married for over two years, nearing it's third anniversary. Do you want to be tied in this marriage?"

Though Mingyu thinks he doesn't know you well enough but he knows you enough to catch the wind of your words.

His gaze turns towards his office room and his suspicion confirms to be correct when he sees the door opened ajar.

"Why did you enter my office? I had clearly warned you about not doing so.", he says in a strict voice.

"That doesn't answer my question.", you say getting up, "Anyways it doesn't matter anymore, I want you to move out of our shared bedroom right now and shift to the guest room. I'll get a lawyer, you get one too and proceed with the divorce."

As you turn back, you feel your husband's hand wrap around yours.

"How are you so calm? Why are you not asking me anything? Do I really mean nothing to you?", you hear a string of questions falling out of his lips, "We are married for almost three years now and your cool headedness after, I'm assuming, knowing everything makes me aware of the fact that I really don't know you."

You jerk your hand out of his grip and turn back to look at him, "And how is that my fault? Maybe you've never tried to know me.", your voice drops another octave, "You can stop with the doting husband act, now that I know the truth."

Mingyu doesn't miss the way your eyes show vulnerability for a moment. Your words strike a chord within him.

"I'll sleep in the guest room.", Mingyu says in defeat, "And we're gonna talk it out tomorrow morning.", he sounds sincere when he says, "I'm sorry. I hope you'll give me a chance to explain everything."

But little does he know, you've already closed the room for any diversions, that you've decided to part ways with the person who has betrayed your trust.

→ Do not copy, re-post, translate, or share any of my works on other platforms! All stories are copyrighted, joonsytip.

[goldfades]

𝐓𝐎 𝐘𝐎𝐔 𝐈 𝐂𝐀𝐍 𝐀𝐃𝐌𝐈𝐓 𝐓𝐇𝐀𝐓 𝐈'𝐌 𝐉𝐔𝐒𝐓 𝐓𝐎𝐎 𝐒𝐎𝐅𝐓 𝐅𝐎𝐑 𝐀𝐋𝐋 𝐎𝐅 𝐈𝐓 ─ PB⁵ ft. UCONN WBB MANAGER

౨ৎ ─ summary | this is taking place pre-relationship! paige apologizes for distancing herself after her injury. this can be read by itself but i would highly recommend reading my headcanons first so you have a bit of context!

─ word count | 1.1k

─ warnings | paige's injury, mention of tension/pettiness, the reader and p weren't on good terms for a while.

─ ev's notes |

⇨ missing out on updates? check out my wcbb masterlist! (updates once a week or so)

THE KNOCK ON your apartment door was sharp and slightly unexpected, your expression turning confused and slightly annoyed.

KK and Ice had left your apartment almost an hour ago, could they really be back already? You sighed before closing your laptop, getting up to open the door only to be met with the person she least expected to be there.

Paige, in all her glory ─ crutches and everything.

You couldn't really explain exactly what happened to prompt Paige to begin acting weird, but she was. She had been, for a while now and you didn't really know why. This was almost two months before her injury so you couldn't even use that as an excuse; she just was.

Despite her efforts to create distance, you couldn't help but worry about her. After all, you had grown close and you even considered her to be one of your best friends at some point, but right now you really didn't know what your relationship was. And of course when she got injured, you made it your mission to take care of her, offering support and comfort whenever she needed it.

But no matter how hard you tried, she always pushed you away. You didn't understand it, you didn't even know why ─ so eventually, you just gave up.

As Paige stood at your doorstep, a whirlwind of emotions seemed to flash across her face. You ushered her in quickly, noticing the slight grimace of pain as she maneuvered on her crutches.

Before you could even begin to speak, she began to talk. "Look, I'm sorry."

You stared back at her, taken aback by her sudden apology. This whole thing had been happening for three months, and even after the millionth time you tried fixing the issue, she continued to act distant with you. It was frustrating and disheartening, to say the least. You had racked your brain trying to understand what went wrong, what could've caused Paige to pull away, but you always came up empty-handed.

"I'm sorry for being a bitch, especially the other night," Paige's voice was devoid of any of the usual excitement she had, it didn't even sound like her.

You couldn't really blame her though, she had just suffered a potentially season-ending injury and the weight of it all seemed to be pressing down on her shoulders. Despite her usual extroverted energy, Paige appeared diminished, her usual spark dulled by the frustration.

You felt a pang of sympathy as you looked at her, realizing the immense toll her injury must be taking on her both physically and emotionally. It wasn't just about missing games or the possibility of a season-ending setback; it was about the loss of something she loved, something that defined her in many ways.

"No, it's okay. Don't even apologize, I get it," you said softly, your voice laced with empathy. "I shouldn't have pushed you, especially with your injury and all,"

"You were just trying to help, I really am sorry," Paige mumbled as she sighed. "I've been so caught up in my own anger that I haven't stopped to think about how it's affecting everyone else, especially you."

You frowned at her words, your heart aching for her. You had been there; the exact moment it happened and you almost couldn't believe it, all the pettiness from the previous months were thrown out the window as you ran to her side.

You moved closer to her, wanting to offer her some comfort. "Please, don't stress yourself out about it. I just wanted you to get better and... well, I just wanted my best friend back," you let out a nervous chuckle as you spoke.

Paige finally met your gaze, her eyes watery and red as she sniffled. She felt ashamed, she couldn't believe that she let anything get in the way of her relationship with you.

"P, it's okay," you said gently, reaching out to wipe away her tears. "I understand why you've been feeling the way you have. And I want you to know that I'm not going anywhere. I'll always be here for you, through the good times and the bad."

Paige sniffled, leaning into your touch as if seeking comfort. "I'm really, really sorry, Y/N. I've been such a mess lately, I missed you."

You could practically feel the exhaustion radiating off of her as you sighed. Without any hesitation, holding her close as if trying to shield her from the weight of the world. Paige buried her face into your shoulder, her body trembling with pent-up emotion as she finally allowed herself to release the weight she had been carrying.

"You don't have to apologize, P," you whispered, your voice filled with warmth and reassurance. "I've missed you too, more than you'll ever know. But more than anything, I just want you to be okay."

Paige buried her face in your shoulder, her breath hitching as she let out a shaky sigh. "I'm trying, Y/N. I really am."

You held her tighter, offering her the comfort and support she so desperately needed. "I know you are, Paige. And I'm here for you every step of the way. We'll get through this together."

Paige nodded against your shoulder, her breaths coming out in ragged sighs as she let herself be comforted by your embrace. In that moment, the walls she had built around herself seemed to crumble as she let go of all her fears.

Paige spoke up again, her tears soaking into the fabric of your shirt. "I don't know what I'd do without you, Y/N. You've always been there for me, even when I didn't deserve it."

"That's what I'm here for, right?" You replied, tightening your hold around her.

Eventually, Paige pulled back slightly, her eyes red and puffy but filled with gratitude. "Thank you, Y/N. I don't know what I'd do without you."

You gave her a gentle smile, brushing a stray tear from her cheek. "You don't have to do anything alone, Paige. I'm here for you, always. Are you hungry?"

She was slightly taken aback as she let out a soft chuckle. "Sure, yeah. What's on the menu tonight?"

You smiled back at her, feeling yourself fall back into the natural swing of things. "Mac and cheese, if you're up for it?"

"Hey, it's a thanksgiving food! It's kinda fitting the vibe, don't ya think?" Paige's voice came out hoarse but you could see the amusement in her red-brimmed eyes.

With a gentle arm around her shoulders, you guided Paige to the kitchen, mindful of her injury. As you worked together to prepare the meal, the tension that had been weighing heavily between you seemed to dissipate, replaced by a sense of familiarity.

However, you could still sense a little tension in the air ─ but you decided that issue was for another day.

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↳ thank you for reading all the way through, as always ♡

[juyendraws]

[Limbus Company] Faust’s Development (or Lack Thereof) in Intervallo 6.5

So Murder on the WARP Express came out and uh… The suspicions I had regarding Faust’s future arc ended up being confirmed. Faust is definitely not reaching out to the truth. I didn't expect the seeds for her story to be planted so soon, but here we are. It’s real. And you're probably thinking, “Uh… WTF are you talking about?” Let me explain to you what I mean.

The message of Library of Ruina is a critical part to understanding what's going on in Limbus Company. I will tell you straight-up here and now, absolutely nobody in the fanbase knows what the hell LoR is actually about. Nobody. And it is such a shame, because it has such a great message that absolutely nobody talks about. I'd love to tell you much more about it, but that involves long explications on Jungian Psychology, the Jewish Kabbalistic Tree of Life, and the story itself, which I don't wanna subject you to yet (I am saving my esoteric lore dumping for the video scripts I’m currently working on). What I will tell you, however, is that the lessons learned by Angela and Roland in LoR are all about opening oneself to everything that is possible in life. The ways in which they do this are:

(1) To listen to one's inner world, or intuition. Don’t just blindly believe whatever someone else says. Follow your own inner voice. 

(2) To listen to one's outer world, or reason. Don't just believe whatever you want to believe. Look at the facts and be receptive to others' opinions. 

That's all you need to know for now about this particular subject. The theme of opening oneself to infinite possibilities is one that carries over from LoR to Limbus Company, and it is present in every Sinners' story. Literally all of them were/are limiting themselves in one way or another due to their flawed beliefs. And each of them is on their own journey of self-realization, or in Jungian terms, “individuation.”

The Mirror Worlds also expand on this theme. They provide infinite ways of looking at the same subject, which sounds wondrous and exciting at first, but it really just reflects what's already there. Remember Yi Sang's and Heathcliff's arcs? For Yi Sang, the Mirror reflected his already-existing potential, while for Heathcliff, the Mirror reflected his surrender to a perceived fate. Mirror World Identities may offer additional combat prowess as well as insight into the characters/worldbuilding, but they end up being quite limiting due to their usage (basically “cheating”) and very nature (as "reflections"). 

Moreover, Goethe's Faust was something that repeatedly showed up in my research on Jungian Psychology. I kept finding Faust's story referenced in articles, academic journals, as well as the book I'm currently reading called Man and His Symbols. This book was written by Carl G. Jung and some of his most trusted followers, and it legitimately explains what Project Moon's mindset was while forming the world and stories of their games (I am not even exaggerating. I have to constantly pause my audiobook and write down notes on what I'd just read because it keeps indirectly revealing PM’s intentions for the series). Anyway, in one of Joseph L. Henderson's chapters named “Heroes and Hero Makers,” he talks about how the archetype of the hero cycle is represented in many stories. An aspect of this archetype essentially revolves around the “hero vs. villain,” or in Jungian terms, the “ego vs. shadow.” The hero must face off against the dragon and triumph. It’s about the development of consciousness through the "ego" (awareness that one exists and has an identity) mastering and assimilating the "shadow" (the parts about ourselves we don’t like or don’t acknowledge deep down). This archetype exemplifies the stage that’s supposed to take place during childhood and adolescence—it’s about growing up. If the hero fails to slay the dragon, i.e. a person fails to assimilate their shadow into their psyche, they become stuck in this state of immaturity. Henderson uses Faust as an example:

“One can see this theme, incidentally, in a well-known literary hero figure—Goethe’s character of Faust. In accepting the wager of Mephistopheles, Faust put himself in the power of a “shadow” figure that Goethe describes as “part of that power which, willing evil, finds the good.” Like the man whose dream I have been discussing, Faust had failed to live out to the full an important part of his early life. He was, accordingly, an unreal or incomplete person who lost himself in a fruitless quest for metaphysical goals that failed to materialize. He was still unwilling to accept life’s challenge to live both the good and the bad” (Man and His Symbols, page 121). 

Henderson is saying that Faust is reluctant to face life’s hardships, so he lets his unconscious aspects—his shadow, or Mephistophiles—control what he does because it’s easier for him to live that way. And as a result, he remains this underdeveloped, immature person. 

In Limbus, Faust’s shadow is Mephistophiles, the reflection of her inner pride and desire to learn more. The knowledge she gains from the bus, her ability to communicate with her IDs, is incapacitating her ability to develop as a person. She’s using it as a crutch. And her overreliance on this knowledge, ironically, reveals how truly ignorant she is. The literal shadow cast in Faust’s E.G.O is her IDs for these very reasons—she is afraid of not knowing what to do.

Anyway, the reason I brought up LoR’s message and the Mirror Worlds earlier is because it is very, VERY relevant to Faust’s arc. Each of the Sinners need to reach out to all the possibilities of life. To not just blindly follow their own beliefs or the beliefs of others, but to see the truth through their own eyes, unclouded by bias. Through her use of the Mirror Worlds, Faust goes, “Well, I’m already reaching out to all possibilities! I’m following my intuition and using reason!” And she technically is, but it’s paradoxical. She is using intuition and reason… But it’s all through the use of her IDs, which are both “herself” and “not herself” at the same time. So she’s still just blindly following her own beliefs and the beliefs of others; she’s only listening to her own opinions and copying down what others say to her, all at the same time. 

I noticed this while rereading key parts of the game again. In Episode 6-25, the Sinners discover the researchers’ experiments below Wuthering Heights. Faust was utterly oblivious as to what their goals were, and Dante commented on how odd her behavior was when she finally started talking.

Later in Episode 6-44, she urges them to find out who informed Erlking Heathcliff about the Mirror Worlds, causing them to pick up on the fact that she doesn’t actually know everything.

In Episode 2 of the 3rd Walpurgis Night, Faust freezes up when asked by Dante to give a more detailed explanation on the Library. She then gives soft confirmation that she is, indeed, in cahoots with her IDs.

Murder on the WARP Express spilled everything. As a result of being separated from Mephistopheles, she is forced to be without her IDs and must figure things out on by herself. Her complete cluelessness regarding what to do demonstrates her lack of any true life experience. She acts like a newborn baby attempting to walk. However, while she is clueless, she is not helpless. She, in fact, does have the potential to grow if she puts her mind to it. Faust exhibits curiosity, ingenuity, and amiability when she must undergo the trials of the WARP train incident.

She takes interest in the perspectives of the other Sinners when asking for help. She is able to discover new things and problem-solve by herself.

Faust can learn on her own and make friends if she really wanted to.

...Unfortunately, she falls back to her dependency on Mephistopheles at the end of the story and closes herself off once again.

Faust refuses to experience any pain that could otherwise spark a realization about herself. She is harming her ability to form relationships with others, as she habitually ignores them or prevents them from giving her advice. She actively denies herself the chance to truly learn about the world and come to her own conclusions—she is impeding her own personal growth. 

Out of all the Sinners, Faust is probably the least developed as a person. Yi Sang, Ishmael, Heathcliff—even those who are about to undergo or are still undergoing their arcs such as Don Quixote, Rodion, or Meursault—are fully-formed people. Faust is not. She is still stuck at the stage of having evolved ego-consciousness while everyone else around her is already achieving the Self. She's worryingly far behind. It’s honestly really sad to watch. 

I was debating on whether or not I should make this post for a few reasons. For one, I’m unable to read Goethe’s Faust at the moment, as I am still preoccupied with my research on Jungian Psychology and Jewish Mysticism for the previous two PM games (Lobotomy Corporation and Library of Ruina). I didn’t want to say anything too specific about Faust’s story until I read her book. Secondly, this topic is really difficult to explain without delving into the Jungian elements in the PM universe. I felt I would end up confusing people if I just came out of nowhere with this post; I initially wanted to speak more about the foundational elements before anything else. 

Nevertheless, I feel that this knowledge I had on Faust, Jung, and PM’s lore was relevant enough to share. I was SHOCKED at how accurately I had predicted Faust’s future character development. The only other person I told this to was my younger sister, and I said, “Faust basically found a loophole through the lessons Angela and Roland learned in LoR. She’s only believing whatever she wants to believe, while also only believing what other people tell her. She’s using Mephi and her IDs as a crutch… I think that’s why she’s alone a lot of the time.” AND I ENDED UP BEING RIGHT. I had to stand up multiple times while playing through the Intervallo with my sister because of how excited I was at this. 

Murder on the WARP Express demonstrates that a good understanding of the games’ themes and of Jungian literary analysis is absolutely essential to figuring out each Sinners’ arc in Limbus. Deciphering, for example, the specifics of Faust’s connection with Gesellschaft is not-so-much valuable as having a strong grasp on what aspects of her character PM is trying to explore. “What is the text communicating? How does it relate to Jung’s ideas? What is the lesson this character is meant to learn?”

That is what matters at the end of the day. 

[marvelfanfics1]

Hi! Could you do a Rafe x Little!Reader where it is the readers first time being little around Rafe and the reader is very shy and emotional and it’s just all cute and fluffy please?

I totally get it if you can’t!

Btw, I absolutely loved your Moody Princess one shot, thank you so much for writing it!

Baby's Safe Space

Pairing: daddy!rafe x pogue!little!reader

Warnings: age regression, small mentions of past abuse, soft!rafe, fluff

A/n: Thank you lovely! I hope I made the request justice and that you like how it came out 🫣🫶🏻

⭒𖥸⭒

It took Rafe some time to understand the aspects of regressing but after you explained it to him he started to do more research on his own, and maybe buying some stuff online he thought you would like, to show his support.

You told Rafe that regressing is just how you cope with past trauma you endured during your childhood.

He understood how important it is for your little self to feel safe and protected, knowing it's not for everyone to see and felt honored that you finally got the courage to talk about it with him. That you feel safe enough in his presence to show your most vulnerable side.

Growing up at the cut with abusive parents took quite a tool on you and as you found out about the term age regression it was clear to you it's what you needed to cope or what you deserved to have.

Rafe was beyond anxious that he somehow mess things up by saying or doing the wrong thing that it results in you being little by yourself again.

He felt bad knowing you probably were only little when he would have busy work days or a business trip.

It was a little into the afternoon and you just got out of the bathroom after doing your skincare and Rafe instantly noticed the pastel colored jammies that had little bunnies printed all over them.

He smiled at you softly, internally excited as hell to finally see that side of you and even curious as to how different your behavior is now in this state.

He noticed at the way you fiddled with the hem of your shirt that you're probably even more nervous than him right now, which is totally understandable.

It was already a hard challenge for you to even tell him about it.

Putting his phone aside he waved you over to him.

"Come here, baby. Promise I won't bite ya." He smirked and to see you smile a little was already a triumph to him.

Shyly you shuffled over to the bed, climbing your way up to snuggle into Rafe's side and grasping his shirt in one of your hands.

He wrapped his arms around you, kissing the top of your head when suddenly he remembered what he had hidden under the bed. "Ah- wait a second..."

He reached beside under the bed to pull out a white box with a rather big red ribbon on top of it. You sat up straight when he placed it between you both. "I- uh...thought you might like it and if not that's totally fine."

You haven't even opened it yet but Rafe certainly knew you cherish absolutely anything he gifted you.

He was just afraid he would go too far with what he bought you but the sparkle in your eyes already eased his nerves a little.

You slowly took of the lid and gasped. There was a lamb stuffie, color books with crayons, and some obviously custom made pacis in your favorite colors you had been dreaming of getting for yourself for a while now.

You instantly teared up, scaring Rafe beyond belief. "Hey, hey...what's wrong kid?" He asked reaching out to cup your face in his large palms, his thumb swiping away the tears that slipped before asking. "Was it too much at once?"

You quickly shook your head which was a little hard with him holding your face. You placed your hands over his, smiling at him. "Dey are happy tears."

"Really? You don't have to say that just to-" you silenced him by leaning forward to peck his lips.

"fank you, Rafey..." You whispered and he pressed his forehead against yours.

"Not for that, baby. I'd do anything to make you happy."

After your sweet moment you only pulled out the stuffie and a paci, placing the box on the ground beside the bed and snuggled back into Rafe's side. You popped in your paci and had the lamb held snugly under your chin while he turned on the TV and looked through Netflix for a movie that suited your headspace, yet he had some difficulty.

"Can you tell me how old you're feeling right now?" He asked and you held up three fingers. After a moment of looking through the kids section he stopped when you squealed quietly and pointed your finger at the screen at seeing your favorite cartoon making Rafe chuckle slightly. "Alright, guess it's gonna be this one."

He put the cartoon on play, an arm wrapping around you to keep you close and kissing your head.

You sighed contently, mumbling sleepily from behind your paci. "Lub you Rafey..."

"I love you more, baby."

                                       ⭒𖥸⭒

Taglist

for everything:

@my-river-lilly @pauntedblacknails @fanfictioniseverything @devilslilbabysblog @buckymydarlingangel @hallecarey1 @daybreakwinter @loveshineslikethesky @wandaslittlewhore @vase-of-lilies @white-wolf1940 @simpingbutch @mischiefsemimanaged @alina02 @teddybearsgrr @doozywoozy @angelbabydoll28 @glxwingrxse @lilymurphy03 @veryvaughnny @lokigirlszendaya @youngstarfishdinosaur @little--baby--bear @minideathgoddess @rach2602 @aagn360 @gh0stgurl @flourishandblotts-inc @fluffyblanketgecko @lovelyy-moonlight @yoruse @kissforvoid

Crossed out are the ones I somehow can't tag!

[luvrxbunny]

his favorite taste

Pairing: Vampire!Bf!Eddie Munson x F!Reader

Summary: Eddie tastes you for the first time.

Warnings: 18+ MDNI, dry humping, blood, blood consumption, vampires, cum in pants(?) (lmk if I forgot anything)

WC: 3.7k

A/N: I’m going based on TVD vampires so Eddie has blood and a beating heart as long as he replenishes it with human blood. Also, I think I got possessed while writing this idek if its coherent

You’re lying in bed facing Eddie, admiring his face, how much he still looks the same. Even though he isn't. 

It’s been about a month since Eddie came back, different. He’s a vampire… when you boil it down. He just doesn’t like the term, he thinks it’s silly. In the month he’s been back he has explained everything to you, what happened to him, his new urges and needs. You know he goes out once a week to feed, he never told you when and he never lets you see his fangs but you’ve memorized his patterns. The only day he’s always too busy to come over is Sunday. 

It’s Saturday and Eddie is lying in your bed. You're high. He still rolls for you, despite now being immune to the effects. He likes to watch you smoke, watch you get sluggish, sweet, soft, and sensitive for him. He’s watching you as you admire his face, as you bring your hand up to trace over his cheek, down his jawline, and to his lips. 

You’re motions are mindless, you’re barely aware that you’re doing them. You imagine what his fangs look like as your fingers trace the outline of his lips. Your thumb comes to press into his inner lip when his breathing picks up. 

He’s more sensitive. He forgot to mention that to you. His senses are heightened and amplified by one another. He is hyper-aware of your warm fingers against his cold lips. He even gets a whiff of the blood that's rushing underneath. His breathing kicks up for a moment, trying to fill his lungs with the scent before he stops his breath short. His fangs are trying to push their way through his gums, his instincts shouting at him to sink his teeth into your soft, plush thumb. He knows you’d taste so sweet, he could probably get a nice buzz going too, with how much weed is in your system. He squeezes his eyes shut as he wills his fangs to stay in place, pretending like he can’t already feel them pressing against his top lip. 

His lips start to tremble against your fingers and confusion crosses your face. Then you feel his fangs press against his lip, pushing it into your finger. You gasp softly and push your thumb up into his mouth to press your thumb against his fangs. You’re excited, your curiosity causing you to move before you think. 

He can feel your fingers on his fangs. He feels the ridges of your fingerprint sliding over the smooth bone. It shoots like lightning through him sending the little bit of blood he has left to his cock. His eyes are pressed shut as he tries not to move a muscle. 

You aren’t considering Eddie at all. This isn't about him. It’s about you exploring his new features. They’re longer than you expected, white and glossy with his spit. You smile as you run your fingers from the bottom of his front teeth, across to press against the point of his fangs. 

You don't think about how sharp his fangs must be.

He punctures your thumb immediately, red blood pooling on the surface.

It drips into his mouth and his eyes snap open. He grips your hand roughly, pressing your wrist against his face to hold your thumb where it is while he sucks all the blood he can from the wound. He can’t think. He can’t think about how he might be hurting you, how he shouldn’t be drinking you up like this. He can only think about your taste. 

You watch his eyes shut tightly as he moans against your thumb. His lips are wrapped around you firmly as he sucks as hard as he can. You watch him gain color, his lips becoming pink again, he whimpers out something that sounds like a sob before pulling your hand away from his face, and shoving it back down against your stomach. The way he forces you, the way his hand spreads over your stomach past your wrist, has you dampening your panties. 

Eddie’s eyes are still closed as he tries to calm down. He’s hungry, and he knows that you’re more than willing to feed him. He opens his eyes slowly to find you staring right at his lips. He goes to lick them subconsciously but a moan slips out when he’s met with more of your blood. It has your eyes snapping to his. 

He looks into your eyes trying to decipher how you’re feeling, if you’re scared of him. He watches you bite your lip and smile softly at him before asking an innocent question. “Do I taste good, Eddie?” 

He knows it’s a genuine question but he also knows that you hoped it would do something to him. His fangs peek out from under his lips when he gasps before he buries his face in your pillows and groans. You’re giggling at him and yourself, the weed still coursing through your system. You bury your face in the pillow you’re on to try and silence your laugh, Eddie, and feel it. He can hear your laugh right next to his ear while he’s mulling over what you said. It has him hard and grinding his hips gently into your bed, wishing he had put on some boxers. 

You lift your head to look at his curls. You stroke them gently and he groans into your pillow again before turning over to see you, his fangs hidden away once more. You’re still smiling at him with all your sweetness and it makes his heart skip a beat. “Why’re you asking me things like that baby?”

Heat rises to your face and your features turn embarrassed. This piques Eddie’s interest. He sits up in your bed, waiting for you to answer his question. You look at your bedsheets, twisting them under your fingers while you consider how to answer him. In the end, you choose; honestly. 

“I just… Okay so obviously I don’t know what blood tastes like. I don’t know if different blood has different flavors to you or if maybe the flavors are based on blood type?” Eddie has confusion resting on his face as he wonders if your answer leads anywhere. He’s nodding at you nonetheless, not wanting you to get insecure about what you’re saying. He likes this when you’re high enough that you’re not making a lot of sense to him but making perfect sense to yourself. You’re so cute like this, looser. Your secrets tend to spill out this way.

“Do you know what I mean? I just-” You huff out, frustrated and unable to explain yourself. He is so in love. He’s trying to hold back a smile at the pout that’s settled on your lips. “It’s okay baby. Just think about what you wanna say.”

Eddie holds your hand, his thumb stroking over it while he watches your eyebrows press together in deep thought before you start speaking again. “I just don’t understand why you don’t just feed off me..." His thumb halts its movements and you start to shrink into yourself. 

Eddie is breathing deeply while considering your question. His thumb starts moving again, releasing a breath of relief from you. He knows that you think about it. He can hear your heart speed up every time he goes near your neck, even when he’s kissing your hands. He’s even thought about it. He thinks about it all the time. He knows you taste good. He wants to have your blood pouring into his mouth every time he sees you. 

Unfortunately, he has zero trust in himself. Every time he thinks about tasting you, his amount of excitement stops him. He doesn’t trust that he has the amount of restraint he would need to exert to stop, he is terrified that he’ll suck you dry. 

“I’m a little dangerous, baby. I’m stronger than you remember? You- you wouldn’t be able to push me off”

The heat that rushes to your core surprises you a bit. 

Eddie can hear your heart speed up and it hurts, the split second that he assumes you’re scared of him feels like a lifetime. Then he feels you trying to push your way into his lap, and lets you. You place yourself on top of his thighs lightly before scooting up to sit your core directly above his. You sigh softly when Eddie’s boner presses into you perfectly. Your arms wrap around his waist before you look back up at him.

“I think I’d really like it.” Your words are starting to slur, it's late, and you’re high and unbelievably turned on. “You sucking my blood, I mean. I think it would feel really good, Eddie.” He’s twitching insanely from the confines of his pajama pants. He cannot believe the words coming out of your mouth. You won’t look at him, like you’re embarrassed by what you’re confessing like you don’t know what it's doing to him. You’re idly twisting your fingers into the fabric of his wife beater, your hips moving against him subconsciously. His hand comes you tilt your chin up so that you’re looking at him. The love, innocence, and arousal in your eyes take his breath away.

“I think you might. Uh, but-” He can’t focus. You're looking up at him with such admiration. You want him to drink you up so badly he can’t handle it. “Um. I- if we do,”

Your eyes widen and you press yourself against him harder, leaning into him, your chest pressing against his which is rumbling in laughter right now. “I said if, sweetheart. If we do, I cannot have your neck, that’s… It’ll be too much for me, all that blood flow..” He trails off as his gaze concentrates on the junction of your neck. He takes a steadying breath before tearing himself away, refocusing. “It’s just too easy for me to.. drain you from there.” He rushes the last part out, embarrassed at his lack of restraint. 

You’re looking into his eyes as he speaks and looks back into yours. You’re trying to get your brain to work, to focus on more than the way Eddie is pressing into your core, the way his breath is hitting your face as he speaks, and the way he’s looking at you. You can see the ghost of a smile on his lips as he watches you try and rally the few stray thoughts you have left in your head. You focus as much as you can and offer him your only idea. “My wrist?” 

He thinks about it for a moment before shaking his head at you, hurting your little heart in the process. “Still a vein baby, too much flow.” His sentences shorten as he gets dragged into your pool of yearning. An idea finally dawns on him. He twitches in his pants at the thought of actually being able to consume you. “Your hand- I can- It’ll run dry on its own”

You started nodding before he could even finish his sentence, your hand right in front of his face by the time it ended. He can feel the warmth coming off you. His gaze cautiously shifts from your eyes to your shaky hand. He can smell the blood underneath and his mouth is watering at the prospect of sinking his teeth into it. He pulls your hand to his mouth, pressing a kiss against your palm before wrapping his hand around your wrist. 

You wait, buzzing in his lap, for him to put his mouth on you. Your hand rests over his mouth gently, your thumb on his chin and your elbow hovering over his shoulder. Eddie’s eyes are closed lightly as you hear him inhale the scent emitting from your palm. His lips press against your palm as you feel his fangs slide out underneath them. His eyebrows are curved inward as he looks back into your eyes, he’s scared. 

You bring your other hand over the side of his face, stroking along his jawline before coming behind his head to gently push his mouth against your hand. You watch him closely, looking into his eyes to watch for refusal. His eyes stay on yours as his trembling lips part for the meat at the base of your thumb. You press your hand into his mouth and Eddie whimpers against it before sinking his teeth in. 

Pain shoots up your arm, tingling between your legs. Eddie’s eyes roll so far into his head that you see all white before his eyelids shut. He’s loud, groaning at your taste and moaning when his hips rock into yours. You watch him drink you up, he’s so messy, blood is all over his lips, smearing on the side of his mouth. You’re still stroking his hair as he devours you. You can feel your blood rushing like it’s all trying to get into Eddie. Your hips won’t stop moving against his as they buck into you. 

He drinks all the blood that flows out of your wound and removes his teeth. A moan shoots out of your mouth when you see your blood all over his lips, all over his teeth, his fangs. He smiles down at where you’ve dropped your head against his shoulder and starts licking around his bite. He’s still looking at you as he does it, watching the way your eyelids flutter as you look up at him, so lovingly for someone who just bit you. 

His gaze leaves you only when he stops getting blood from your wound, he wraps his lips around it delicately and sucks to get more. You feel his shoulders drop a bit in disappointment when nothing comes out. You drop that hand to his opposite shoulder from the one you’re on, and it comes behind to cradle his neck before pulling him in for a kiss that he rejects. 

You sit up and look at him, upset, hazy, and confused. You’re met with his wild eyes and mildly apologetic face. “I still have your blood on my face baby.” He’s speaking in a hushed whisper as though the sentence were some revelation. “It’s my blood, Eddie.” You respond with an incredulous giggle, your arms tightening around him before attempting to kiss him again. Only for him to pull away, again. “Yeah but my- my fangs are still out and I’m- and it’s dangerous”

You clock the unfinished sentence regardless of his attempt to cover it up. You analyze his face, trying to figure out what he was going to say but to no avail. “You’re what Eddie?” Your tone is accusatory and he notices, his eyes leaving yours the moment you voice the question. You mull over his sentence again, “Dangerous?” 

He turns his head away and you watch as his tongue nervously darts out to lick his lips, his eyelids flutter gently before his iris shoots to the corner of his eye, checking to see if you noticed. That’s when it clicks. 

He’s still hungry. 

As you think about it, of course he is. You don’t know how much he drinks from other people. You know that he’s holding back, that he’s scared, of course he wouldn't drink his fill. You’re still lost in thought when Eddie turns back to look at you, he waits for you to look up at him but you never do. “Can we just drop it?”

You look up at him with a smile that baffles him. You come up to kiss him on his cheek as he watches you expectantly, waiting for you to explain yourself. 

“Your needs matter Eddie, you can’t keep them from me. I need to know what you need for me to give it to you and it’s so much easier if you tell me up front.” You bring your unwounded hand to his face and slide your thumb across his lips, gathering the smeared blood as best you can before pushing it into his mouth. He’s stock still as you press your thumb against his tongue, his only movement is his lips closing to suck up every drop. You hold his eye contact as you pull your thumb from his mouth and press your palm to his mouth. “I know you want more Eddie”

His eyes water as his lips begin to tremble against you once again. You bite into your lip when you feel Eddie harden up underneath you again, pressing up against your clit this time due to the way you’re angled toward him. His eyelids flutter when his clothed tip pushes up into your plush lips. 

He keeps looking into your eyes as you press his head to your hand, as you did before. He’s holding back whimpers as he sinks his fangs into the soft skin of your hand. He feels your skin push, break, and slide against him. He can feel the gushing of your blood as it pushes through the puncture he’s made in your skin, he can feel the warmth as it surrounds his teeth, spilling into his mouth.

Eddie starts thrusting up into you like he can’t help it, his hands are on your lower back and hip, pressing you against him just the way he wants it.  His eyes are on you as he continues to drink his fill, he’s tracking you’re reaction, the way your hips speed up when he presses his teeth harder into your wound. 

He feels it, he’s getting high off your blood. His body getting more and more sensitive the longer he drinks you up.

 You can feel your pussy leak into his pants, getting his cock wet with it when he twitches up into you. Your eyes slip shut as you begin to grind against him with purpose, feeling something starting to tighten in your stomach. You watch Eddie as he drinks down all the blood he can, moaning into your hand while looking right into your eyes. You hold his contact as you feel your climax build. Eddie can feel your muscles contracting over his cock and it has him spilling pre-cum through his pants and smearing on you. His lips finally part from your hand and he’s immediately kissing you.

You can taste copper on his lips, in his mouth as he moans into yours. He’s brought one hand up to push your face into his while he keeps the other on your lower back, guiding you against him. He’s pressing his face into your neck, inhaling your scent greedily. “Oh fuck. Thank you so much, baby. Thank you, thank you, thank you.”

You moan lewdly into his ear while he expresses his gratitude, his hips thrusting up into your pussy like he’s fucking you. “Eddie,” You drag his name out into a whine in a way that has his hips stuttering against you and him moaning out into your neck. “Holy shit- Eddie I’m so close- fuck.”

He’s in his own world, grunting into you gruffly, his whole body tense as he chases his high. You can feel his mouth open in a silent moan before he’s shaking and cumming against you, his face still buried in your neck, eyes shut tight. He keeps pulling you over his cock as it pulses, he doesn’t have any rhythm but you just want him to feel good. You’re so close, right there, but you can’t get over the edge, and Eddie is going to be out of commission for the night. You almost accept your fate, that you’ll have to take one for the team but then you feel them. His fangs shoot out as he releases one last howling moan and goes limp on you. 

You feel his fangs scrape over the skin of your neck, ever so slightly but it sets your whole body alight. Pleasure shoots up your spine, straightening your spine before you’re gripping Eddie with all the strength in your body. He moans and his hand comes around to toy with your clit. His mouth opens and filth come out. 

“Such a good girl for me, baby. Letting me drink you all up, got you all messy in your panties in the process huh?”

He circles your clit once. 

“Fuck you tasted so good too, like sipping on fucking juice, sweetheart. F- felt like I was gonna cum from the moment I could taste it.”

He presses his thumb against your clit, hard.

“You’ll let me do it again right? Your blood is my new favorite taste- shit, I might be addicted to you already, baby.”

You’re gushing. Your whole body is trembling in Eddie’s hold from the force of your orgasm. You slam your eyes shut as you moan around the syllables of his name. Your hips shove themselves against Eddie’s fingers and you whine for him while soaking your underwear.

Everything is fuzzy when you open your eyes again, you can hear Eddie cooing at you in your ear, he’s stroking his hand over the expanse of your back as the other one grips the back of your neck, holding you to him. You feel a rush of air and you’re sitting on the kitchen counter.

“Gotta stay hydrated, baby you uh, you lost a lot of blood.” He chuckles to himself nervously before grabbing the cup of water and holding it out for you. Your arms don’t attempt to move from where they’re wrapped around his neck, he’s so warm and you’re sure that glass is cold so what’s the point. You’re just staring at him with you’re adorable fucked out expression, he smiles fondly before holding the cup up to your lips for you. You take a few sips, drinking about a quarter of the cup before pulling away to collapse into Eddie. He whispers “Good job, baby.” before placing a kiss on your forehead. 

Another rush of air and you’re back in bed, your head on Eddie’s chest with the blankets pulled up to your neck. You try to hide your smile as you realize this is the most of Eddie’s vampire side that he’s ever showed you. 

“What are you thinking about? Can hear your heart racing.”

“Just about how much I love you.” You respond with a delirious giggle. “Every part”

You hear Eddie take a breath before he pulls you fully on top of him and kisses you stronger than he has in the past month. “I promise that I love you more, baby”

You drift to sleep as Eddie watches, all night.

A/N: Thank you so much for reading!! Please please please give any feedback you may have! I want it all!

[strwbrryeyes]

𖦹°｡⋆ haikyuu boys as my breakup playlist

⟡ featuring: suna, oikawa, tsukishima, atsumu

⟡ cw: angst, idk still bad at these

⟡ an: i found my old breakup playlist from three years ago and took inspiration from that so these songs are old lol. writing this was silly because im in a loving relationship but it was like i felt all the pain of a breakup again </3

⟡ part two, part three

⟡ suna rintarou: you broke me first - tate mcrae

suna would be the one to break things off with you. when you first started dating he genuinely thought he loved you but as time went on and he became more distant, you started to feel like he was losing feelings for you so you asked him about it. in his words, "i think you were just the first girl to give me attention after my last relationship" and "im not ready for a relationship". a week later, he starts talking about all the girls that have come to him after the breakup and started talking about his hookups to you. this bothered you and hurt you deeply so you decided to cut things off with him completely and he was not a fan of this. so he tried everything to try to get you to talk to him again saying that he misses you and that he wants to get back together. you couldn't care less though, he's already broken your heart too many times for you not to notice his pattern of wanting your attention just to make you jealous or upset. in the end, it actually did end up hurting him and made him realize what he lost. he knew he fucked up but there's no going back anymore.

⟡ oikawa tooru: over breakfast - ellise

it's been a few months since oikawa left for argentina. it's been hard for the both of to be apart for so long and in completely different timezones. you could feel the connection fading but neither of you wanted to admit it because you both loved each other so much. but the longer you guys try to keep the relationship afloat, the more frequent you end up arguing over text or facetime. but you both decided that it could be something to figure out when oikawa visits for the holidays. well, the holidays come around and you finally have time to see each other and talk in person. from the moment oikawa entered your apartment, you both knew it was over. you could tell so many things have changed over the course of the last few months but instead of facing it, you just decide to spend one more night together just to have one final time to say that you tried. it was bittersweet and it hurt a lot but you didn't want the night to end. maybe you could fix this over night? in the morning everything will be better and you can set aside your differences! unfortunately, that morning, nothing had changed and you and oikawa finally came to terms with the fact that maybe you two just maybe weren't meant to be.

⟡ tsukishima kei: high definition - waterparks

when tsukishima was still part of the sendai frogs, he traveled a lot. it's not like he was off in another country like some of his old teammates and rivals, no, you lived with him. even though you two had been dating for quite some time by this point, tsukishima still had trouble expressing his love for you. he tended to push you away whenever he was stressed even though the one thing he wanted the most was your comfort and loving. he was just worried he would end up snapping at you and making you hate him. he didn't know that you'd end up upset with him regardless. you loved him so much but you don't know how long you could going on like this. i mean come on! tsukishima was always away for volleyball matches and even when he's home...it's like he's still not even there. tsukishima knew that you were starting to slip away from him so one day he sat you down and explained how he was feeling and it was finally then that you understood why he acted the way he did. you tried protesting his decision to break up with you but he kept insisting it was for the better. by the next week tsukishima had moved out leaving you alone in the once shared apartment, wishing and hoping he'd come back one day.

⟡ miya atsumu: better off - ariana grande

everyone knew that atsumu could be hot headed most of the time when it came to volleyball but what they didn't know is that it would sometimes affect your relationship with him. much like tsukishima, he would close himself off from you whenever he was mad at the world or whatever else there is that could make him upset. it was starting to get tiring for you. you felt like you had to walk on egg shells around him just so he wouldn't snap at you (wether he meant to or not- his mind would always fog up). towards the end of your relationship, you could feel yourself start to get numb in regards to your feelings towards atsumu. atsumu couldn't really tell at this point that you were losing hope for the relationship. if anything he thought everything was normal but that was only because half of the time he was too much into his own thoughts to notice any flaws between the two of you. it wasn't until he came home one day after an away game on the other side of japan and found that all of your stuff was gone along with you, that he realized nothing is what it used to be. he found a note from you that explained that you weren't happy in the relationship anymore and that you felt trapped. you also stated that you hope he figures out his issues and that you'll always be there for him if he needs but that right now you just needed space. atsumu spent that night crying and angry at himself for letting your relationship get to this point.

[bangchansdirty-slut]

Punishment

•───⋅⋆⁺‧₊☽⛦☾₊‧⁺⋆⋅───•

Paring: Sub!Camboy!Jungwon x Dom!Reader

Genre: smut

Summary: Y/n discovers Jungwon preparing for a camboy session, surrounded by adult toys and wearing a collar. She confronts him playfully, revealing she knows his secret and hinting at a shared experience.

More: Masterlist

A/n: I'm considering creating more fics like this if you want me to. Also, I am currently working on some requests. Requests are still open; it might just take a while.

•───⋅⋆⁺‧₊☽⛦☾₊‧⁺⋆⋅───•

Y/n always had a knack for making an entrance. She'd saunter into a room with the confidence of a lioness surveying her pride, and today was no exception. Jungwon's apartment, however, was uncharacteristically still. The usually warm, welcoming space was filled with an eerie silence that made Y/n's skin crawl. She called out his name, expecting the usual greeting or the distant sound of a shower running, but all she heard was the faint hum of the computer in the bedroom.

Her heart racing, she pushed the door open to find Jungwon sprawled on the bed, surrounded by a sea of dildos and vibrators. He was in the middle of setting up for his live cam show, dressed in nothing but a pair of skimpy lace panties and a collar that glinted in the dim light. Y/n's eyes widened in shock, and for a moment, she couldn't believe what she was seeing. But as the reality set in, a smirk curled on her lips. Jungwon's secret life as a camboy was about to become their little shared secret.

"Well, well, well," she purred, crossing her arms over her chest. "Look what we have here."

Jungwon's eyes shot up from his task, wide with a mix of fear and arousal. He knew he was in trouble, and his cheeks flushed as he scrambled to cover himself with a pillow. "Y/n baby," he stuttered. "I can explain."

But Y/n was already striding over to the bed, a glint of mischief in her eyes. She grabbed the leather whip off the bedside table, the same one he had used on her countless times before. "Oh, I think I can guess," she said, her voice low and sultry. "You've been a very bad boy, Jungwon."

Her hand came down with a sharp crack across his thigh, and Jungwon yelped, his body jolting. The sound was deliciously satisfying, and Y/n felt a thrill of power course through her. She leaned down, her face inches from his, and whispered, "You're going to show everyone what happens to naughty little camboys who don't tell their mommies about their side hustles."

Jungwon's eyes searched hers, a silent plea for mercy, but she only grinned. "You're going to be the star of the show tonight, baby," she said, stroking the whip along his body. "And I'm going to make sure everyone sees just how much of a slut you are."

With that, she turned on the webcam and the room filled with the eager chatter of his online audience. Y/n didn't miss a beat, slipping into a pair of red, lace lingerie she found in his drawer. She knew he liked it when she played the part of a stern dom, so she leaned into it, her voice firm and commanding. "Look at all these people waiting to see how a bad boy gets punished," she said, her hand tracing the line of his jaw. "They're all so curious, aren't they?"

Jungwon nodded, his voice shaky. "Y-yes, Mommy," he murmured, his eyes darting to the screen and back to her.

Y/n felt a thrill at the sound of the word "Mommy" on his lips. It was a term they'd played with before in their private kinks, but the fact that he was saying it now, in this context, was exhilarating. She knew it would drive his fans wild, and she had every intention of using that to her advantage. She lubed up the strap-on dildo with a wicked smile, watching Jungwon's eyes widen in anticipation and a hint of fear.

"You're going to beg for it," she told him, her voice low and sultry. "You're going to apologize to everyone for being such a naughty boy, and then you're going to show them just how much you enjoy your punishment."

Jungwon swallowed hard, his throat dry with nerves. He had never been outed like this before, never been caught in the act by someone he cared about. But there was something about the way Y/n's eyes gleamed with excitement that made his cock throb in his panties. He felt the cold metal of the vibrating cock ring being snapped around his erection, and he gasped, his hips bucking involuntarily.

"Look at him," Y/n said, addressing the camera. "He can't even wait to be punished."

The chatter in the chat grew more feverish as Jungwon's fans watched the scene unfold. Y/n knew they were eager to see their favorite camboy get what he deserved, and she was more than happy to oblige. She straddled him, the strap-on pressing against his ass. "You're going to apologize to all your little viewers," she ordered, her voice like silk. "Tell them how sorry you are for keeping secrets from Mommy."

Jungwon's eyes watered as he whispered, "I'm so sorry, Mommy. I'm a bad boy." His voice was a mix of genuine regret and the thrill of his newfound vulnerability. The camera picked up every tremor in his voice, and the audience lapped it up.

Y/n smirked, feeling the power dynamic shift heavily in her favor. She grabbed his chin and tilted his head up, forcing him to look into the camera. "Is that all you have to say?" she demanded, her tone a perfect blend of disappointment and dominance. Jungwon took a deep breath, his eyes glossy with lust. "I'm so sorry, Mommy! I'll be good! I'll do anything you say!"

The chat exploded with excitement, a cacophony of lewd comments and demands. Y/n couldn't help but feel a sense of triumph as she began to peg Jungwon. She thrust deep, watching his face contort with pleasure and pain. His body arched off the bed, his moans growing louder with each stroke. She tightened her grip on the leather whip, ready to use it if he didn't perform to her satisfaction.

"Look at this greedy slut," she said, her voice carrying over the sound of his gasps. "He loves being filled up, doesn't he?" Jungwon could only nod, his eyes rolling back in his head as she hit just the right spot. The vibrating cock ring around his shaft sent waves of pleasure through him, making his entire body quiver.

The chat was alight with comments, eager viewers urging Y/n to go harder, to make him scream. She reveled in the power, her movements becoming more forceful. Each thrust was punctuated with a snap of the whip, leaving red lines across Jungwon's pale skin. He squirmed and writhed beneath her, his desperate pleas for release echoing through the room.

"Not yet," she purred, her own arousal growing with every second. "First, you need to show Mommy how much you can take."

Jungwon's eyes snapped open, and he gritted his teeth as she yanked on the chain attached to his collar, forcing him to look into the camera. His cheeks were flushed, his hair a sweaty mess, and his eyes were glazed over with desire. The strap-on filled him completely, stretching him in a way that made him feel both used and utterly adored. He knew he was putting on a show for his viewers, but all he could focus on was the pleasure Y/n was giving him, the way she was dominating him so completely.

"Such a good boy," she cooed, her hand reaching down to squeeze his cock, the vibrations from the ring sending shockwaves through his body. "Now tell them how much you want to cum for Mommy."

Jungwon's voice was strained, his words barely coherent. "I-I wanna to c-um s'badly, Mommy~," he whimpered, his eyes never leaving hers. "P..ase, let me c-cum."

Y/n chuckled, the sound as dark and seductive as the room's shadows. "Only if you can make Mommy cum first," she said, her eyes gleaming with challenge. She pulled out the strap-on, watching Jungwon's hole quiver with need. He nodded frantically, his breath coming in short, desperate gasps.

Y/n straddled Jungwon's face, her own pussy wet with excitement. She could feel the heat of his breath on her, and she knew he was eager to taste her. "Eat me out," she ordered, her voice thick with desire. "Make me cum, and maybe, just maybe, I'll let you have your little reward."

Jungwon didn't need any further encouragement. He buried his face between her legs, his tongue darting out to tease her clit. Y/n moaned, her hands fisting in his hair as he worked his magic. He knew exactly what she liked, and he wasn't going to hold back now. The camera captured every moment, the sight of Jungwon's eager mouth on her pussy sending the chat into a frenzy. His fans watched, enraptured, as he licked and sucked, his tongue swirling around her sensitive bud.

Y/n's hips began to rock, her body moving in rhythm with Jungwon's mouth. She could feel the tension building, her orgasm approaching like a freight train. Her eyes remained locked on the camera, a smug smile playing on her lips. She knew she had him right where she wanted him, and she was going to enjoy every second of it. "fff-fuck yes baby," she breathed, her voice tight with pleasure. "J-ust like that, baby."

Jungwon's eyes fluttered closed as he focused on his task, his tongue delving deeper into her wetness. He could feel his own cock straining against the ring, the vibrations almost too much to handle. But he was determined to make her cum first. His tongue flicked and danced, tracing the folds of her sex with a practiced ease.

Y/n's moans grew louder, her body tensing above him. She leaned back, her breasts bouncing as she threw her head back in ecstasy. Jungwon's hands gripped Y/n's thighs, his face a mask of concentration as he worked tirelessly to please her. His own need was a constant throb, the vibrations from the ring making his balls ache. But he knew his place; he was here to serve, to be her good little boy.

Finally, with a guttural cry, Y/n squirted, her juices coating Jungwon's face. She collapsed onto the bed, her chest heaving as she looked down at him, her eyes hooded with satisfaction. Jungwon lapped at her thighs, his eyes pleading for his own release. "Good boy," she murmured, a hint of pride in her voice. "You've earned your reward."

With a swift motion, Y/n climbed off Jungwon, her legs wobbly with the aftershocks of her orgasm. She grabbed the cock ring and tugged it off, tossing it aside. Jungwon's cock sprang free, hard and desperate for release. "You did so well," she said, her voice softer now. "You really are the best little slut for Mommy."

Her hand wrapped around his shaft, her grip firm and sure. Jungwon moaned, his hips bucking up to meet her touch. The sensation was overwhelming after the constant vibration, and he could feel himself getting closer and closer to the edge. Y/n leaned in, her lips pressing sloppily against his in a kiss that was as much about claiming him as it was about showing their connection to the audience. She tasted faintly of herself, a musky sweetness that made Jungwon's toes curl.

Their kiss grew more urgent as she stroked him, her thumb swiping over the head of his cock in a deliciously torturous pattern. Jungwon's breath hitched, and he could feel the beginnings of his climax building. The chat was a blur of words, their fans lost in the performance. But all Jungwon could focus on was Y/n, her eyes locked on his, her hand working him closer and closer to the precipice.

"Ask them what they want to see," she murmured against his lips, her voice a seductive whisper. Jungwon's heart raced as he turned to the camera, his voice thick with arousal. "W-hat do you wa-nt Mommy to do to M..e?"

The chat exploded with suggestions, each more depraved than the last. Y/n's eyes danced with excitement as she read through them, her hand never stopping its steady rhythm on Jungwon's cock. "Looks like my little slut has quite the fan club," she said, her voice filled with amusement.

"P-please, Mommy," Jungwon begged, his voice breaking. "I n-need to c-cum."

Y/n's eyes narrowed, a smirk playing on her lips as she considered the options presented by the eager viewers. "Looks like you've been a very popular boy," she said, her thumb teasing the slit of his cock. "They want to see you squirt all over yourself like the little whore you are."

Jungwon's eyes rolled back, his body on the brink. "I-I'll do it," he panted. "A-anything, just let me cum."

Y/n's smirk grew into a full-blown smile. She knew she had him. She leaned down, her breath hot on his ear. "Tell them," she whispered. "Tell them how much you want to cum for Mommy."

Jungwon's voice was shaky as he spoke to the camera. "P-please, everyone," he stuttered. "I w-want to c-cum so badly for Mommy." The words were barely out of his mouth before Y/n's hand sped up, her grip tightening. Jungwon's body was a symphony of sensation, his muscles tensing and releasing as he neared climax.

The room was thick with tension as Y/n worked him closer and closer. The smell of sex hung heavy in the air, mingling with the faint scent of leather from the whip that lay discarded on the bed. Jungwon's eyes squeezed shut, his hips jerking upwards as he chased his release. The sound of the chat had become a distant buzz, their words fading into the background as he focused solely on the pleasure Y/n was giving him.

"Look at me," she demanded, her voice firm. Jungwon's eyes snapped open, meeting hers. There was something in her gaze that was both terrifying and exhilarating, a mix of love and dominance that had him trembling with need. "Tell me you're going to cum for Mommy."

"I'm g-going to cum," he whimpered, his voice a desperate plea. "P-please, let me cum."

Y/n leaned in closer, her breasts pressing against his chest as she whispered, "Do it for Mommy."

With a strangled cry, Jungwon came hard, his cum spurting onto his stomach and chest in thick ropes. The camera caught every drop, his fans watching in awe as he trembled and squirmed beneath her touch. Y/n chuckled, her hand still moving slowly on his over-sensitive cock. She knew he was spent, his body a mess of nerves and pleasure, but she wasn't quite done with him yet.

"Such a good boy," she murmured, her voice a sweet caress in the otherwise raunchy atmosphere. She leaned down to lick a bead of cum from his chest, savoring the salty taste of his release. Jungwon's body was a symphony of sensation, his muscles still quivering from the intensity of his orgasm. He panted, his eyes fluttering closed as she kissed him gently.

"Thank you, Mommy," he whispered, his voice a hoarse whisper. Y/n couldn't help but smile at his obedience. She climbed off the bed, her own arousal still simmering just beneath the surface. "Don't go anywhere," she told him, her eyes sparkling with mischief. "We're not done yet."

Jungwon watched as she grabbed the leather whip again, his heart racing with anticipation. He knew she had more in store for him, and the thought both thrilled and terrified him. Y/n strutted back to the bed, the whip crackling in the air as she approached. She looked like a goddess of desire, her lingerie clinging to her curves and her hair a wild mess from their earlier exertions.

"You've been such a good boy," she said, her voice filled with warmth. "But now, it's time for your final punishment." She held up the whip, and Jungwon's cock twitched in response. "You're going to count for me, baby," she instructed, her tone firm. "Every stroke, you're going to count, and you're going to thank me for each one."

Jungwon nodded, his breath shallow. He knew this was it, the grand finale of their little performance. He braced himself as the whip made contact with his already sensitive skin, the sting making him gasp. "One," he murmured, his eyes never leaving hers.

Y/n's strokes grew stronger, painting a picture of red on Jungwon's ass. Each crack of the whip was met with a muffled cry and a whispered "Thank you, Mommy." His body danced with the pain, his legs shaking as he fought to stay in position for her. The room was alive with the sound of their play, the whip echoing through the speakers and into the ears of his devoted fans.

Jungwon's eyes watered, but he didn't dare break the gaze he held with Y/n. He knew she could see the mix of agony and euphoria in his eyes, the way his body responded to her dominance. It was a heady feeling, one that made his cock throb even as the pain grew more intense. He felt her hand on his thigh, her grip reassuring as she guided him through each stroke.

Finally, after what felt like an eternity, Jungwon reached the last number, his voice strained but obedient. "Ten, Mommy," he whimpered, his body sagging in relief. Y/n tossed the whip aside, her eyes still locked on his. "Good boy," she said, her voice soft and gentle. "You took your punishment like a champ."

Jungwon couldn't help the smile that graced his lips. He felt a strange sense of pride, knowing he had not only satisfied his Mommy but also his eager audience. His body was a canvas of desire, marked with the evidence of their game. He looked up at Y/n, his eyes pleading for the final act of their show.

Y/n leaned down, her breasts brushing against Jungwon's back as she whispered in his ear. "You've been such a good boy," she said, her breath warm and comforting. "Now, it's time for your reward."

Her hand reached back, her fingers finding his still-hard cock. Jungwon's eyes rolled back in his head as she began to stroke him again, her movements gentle this time. He knew she was in no rush, that she was savoring the moment just as much as he was. The tension in the room had shifted, the power dynamic no longer a game but a lived reality that bound them together.

Their kiss grew deeper, more intimate as she brought him back to the edge. Jungwon's breath hitched, his body taut with anticipation. He could feel the warmth of her pussy against his thigh, her own arousal clear as she ground against him. The camera captured every moment, their private world laid bare for the viewers to see.

With a final, desperate moan, Jungwon came again, his body spasming as ropes of cum shot out of him. Y/n's hand never left his cock, her touch soft and soothing as he rode out the last waves of pleasure. When he finally opened his eyes, she was smiling down at him, her own satisfaction clear. "Thank you, Mommy," he murmured, his voice thick with emotion.

Y/n leaned down, her cheek pressing against his. "Thank you, baby," she said, her voice just as tender. "You were incredible."

They lay there for a moment, their bodies tangled together, the camera still rolling. Jungwon felt a mix of relief and euphoria, the adrenaline of their performance still coursing through his veins. He knew that their relationship had just entered a new phase, one filled with secrets and taboos, but he also knew that he wouldn't have it any other way.

"Alright, everyone," Y/n said, her voice suddenly business-like as she turned to the camera. "That's all for tonight. Don't forget to tip your performers." She winked, her eyes sparkling with mischief. "And Jungwon," she added, her voice a low purr. "Be a good boy for Mommy, or we'll have to do this again."

The chat erupted in a frenzy of tips and goodbye messages as they kissed one last time, their bodies still connected. They pulled away, the spell of the moment broken. Jungwon reached up, his hand shaking as he fumbled with the laptop to end the stream. The room fell silent, their world shrinking back to just the two of them.

He looked up at Y/n, his eyes filled with a newfound love and admiration. "Thank you," he murmured, his voice hoarse. "That was…"

Y/n chuckled, cutting him off. "It was what you needed," she said, her voice firm. "And it's what you're going to get from now on." She climbed off the bed, Jungwon following her to the bathroom. The cool air hit his skin, sending a shiver down his spine.

In the bathroom, she turned the shower on, the steam quickly filling the room. Jungwon watched as she peeled off the s lingerie, revealing her own naked form. He couldn't help but admire the way her curves moved with confidence and the smirk on her face that said she knew exactly what she was doing. He felt a strange mix of submission and adoration for her, a feeling that was both new and thrilling.

"Get in," she said, her voice still carrying the same commanding tone from earlier. Jungwon nodded, eager to obey. The hot water washed over them as they stepped into the shower, the sting of the droplets mixing with the lingering pain from the whip. Y/n grabbed a bottle of shower gel, her eyes never leaving Jungwon's as she began to lather him up. Her hands were firm but gentle, gliding over his bruised skin with care.

[little-annie]

Thanks to the @strangerthingswritersguild for the prompt and @eyesofshinigami for the brain worm 🪱 our conversation created.

Did you know in fan fic writing the term Rubber Ducking refers to bouncing ideas off of each other/ brainstorming with friends? Well I didn't. I thought it was a sex thing.

From that, this idea was born.

Rubber Ducking | M | 873 WC | Steddie | Buckingham

It was a cold February night when the first sighting occurred. The air in the apartment had felt different. Charged with an electricity Robin couldn't explain.

Something was happening. And at first she had thought it was an anomaly, then maybe a coincidence. 

But then it kept happening. 

Those black empty eyes met hers and mere hours later the sound of the city was lost to the wails of the night.

It sounded like torture.

Like the stripping of flesh and bones.

But even more horrifically, Robin learned it was anything but.

Sure, there was flesh and bone, but how Steve apparently getting absolutely railed by Eddie in the next room over had any connection to the rubber ducky that ended up on the living room coffee table every so often, Robin hadn't the slightest clue.

She just knew that unfortunately there had to be one.

A few weeks later, sitting at the breakfast bar and trying to ignore the low hanging neckline of Chrissy's already frankly obscene tank top, Robin notices the presence of yet another rubber ducky.

This one donning a Sailor's hat and suit. Similar to the one she remembers her and Steve wearing in their days at Scoops Ahoy. 

Not twenty minutes later she's met with Eddie asking if she knows where Steve hid his old uniform. Regrettably she tells him, and that night goes to bed taking precautionary measures with foam plugs in her ears.

The following week there's a light blue ducky on the coffee table instead, then a grey ducky the week after. Then after a few more weeks there's what appears to be a leather daddy ducky. 

Sometimes in between there's a plain normal rubber ducky.

“You figure it out yet?” Chrissy asks one evening, plopping down onto the couch next to Robin and setting her feet in her lap.

God what she wouldn't do for this girl and her polka dot pink fuzzy socks.

Looking over at the boys who are now apparently disgustingly in love, and currently trading lazy kisses and giggles back and forth in the loveseat, Robin sighs, “Unfortunately.”

She nearly had the code cracked before a drunken Steve had told her what it all meant.

Original Ducky = Someone is horny.

Sailor Ducky (Sir Butterscotch) = Someone wears the Scoops uniform. 

Light Blue (Richard) = Someone wants to give / receive head.

Grey (Bari) = Someone wants to be tied up/do the tying up.

Leather Daddy = "You really don't want to know Robin.”

So essentially flagging, she figures, but with various types of rubber duckys, which is horrific in its own way.

Now when one of them is feeling it, they pick a rubber ducky of their choosing and leave it out on the coffee table as a subtle way of asking for the represented attention.

“Sex Duck,” Robin sighs, leaning her head against the back of the couch, turning to look at Chrissy, “They have a fucking sex duck.”

“Like that show with the sex mug?”

“Like the show with the sex mug.” She answers flatly 

Sure seeing the ducks at home was bad enough, but when they started appearing in the wild it was so much worse.

First in Steve's car on the dash, then Eddie's van, then one day at work when Eddie came sauntering in and pulled a light blue ducky from his pocket, tossing it in Steve's direction before walking off towards the employees only bathroom.

They think they're subtle, but really they're not.

It's just another Tuesday evening when a new ducky makes its way onto the coffee table in the living room. Traditional like the first, but donning a pink bow and black painted on lashes. Feminine. Cute.

Like a game, Robin's began trying to decipher the meaning behind every duck before Steve inevitably tells her. It helps her cope with the trauma. 

This one though, makes her wonder. 

Sitting on the couch staring probably a little too intensely at the newest addition to the boys collection, Robin hardly notices when Steve plops down beside her.

She startles when she notices him, his voice catching her off guard. “Whatcha doing?”

“Trying to figure out what kink of yours this little lady represents.”

Steve hums and Eddie joins them shortly after, settling in the rocking chair across from them, giving the ducky the same odd look Robin had been moments ago.

“Whatcha doing, Buck?”

She gestures to the duck, “Figuring out her deal.”

Feminization maybe?

“Chrissy?” Eddie asks

“What?” Robin looks up from those cute long lashed eyes, “No. Your duck.”

Next to her Steve huffs a laugh, crossing his arms and leaning back against the couch. “Not our ducky, Rob.”

What?

“Course it is.”

“Not our ducky, Babe.” Eddie repeats Steve's words.

It has to be. “Well it's not mine.” Robin grumbles.

“No, no Rob it's not.” Steve nudges Robin's knee with his, “Maybe it's meant for you though.”

No.

No?

Looking far too excited, Eddie smirks, “Chris is in her room isn't she?”

Well… it… it wouldn't hurt to check would it? Maybe the boys are just teasing her, playing a game. But on the off chance they're not…

“You gonna go get your girl, Rob?”

Jesus Christ, she's going to, isn't she?

[psylocke142]

I'll wait for you.

Sana x fem!reader

synopsis: You and Sana have an on/off relationship. You broke up again two weeks ago. Then you begin to talk at a school event again.

w/c: 2.4k

warnings: angst; hopeless romantic; no happy endings here; on/off relationship; more angst; complicated relationship; even more complicated feelings; smoking

a/n: i am trying something new here. i have never written or posted anything before, so bare with me if you decide to check this out. i just felt like trying something here. btw i love sana and i apologize if she seems like the "bad guy" in this fic. :) DMs and asks open to suggestions and feedback.

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You're currently back home, sitting on the roof of this shitty old house. It's been over an hour and the sun is starting to set. However, you can't seem to find the motivation to go back inside. You've been looking back at these past months. Lighting up a cigarette and inhaling a lung full of smoke as you try to figure out where it all went wrong. You're afraid you already know the answer, but one can fake obliviousness.

-- Flashback --

It's been weeks since you were last on good terms. If only you can explain or express how deeply that crushes your heart.

Thursday was open mic night for school. You had finished classes early that day and rushed out of your part-time at the restaurant.

Sana was there along with your friends. You rushed into the cafe, where the open mic was being held. It was crowded.

Anxiety began to rise and take over your body, heart hammering against your chest.

Whether it was from the thought of performing in front of everyone or the thought of seeing Sana, you had no clue.

You had entered through the side entrance. Automatically you searched for her face, wondering if she really did decide to come see you perform.

Sana: of course I'm gonna go!

Y/N: really? you don't have to

Sana: yes i do!

Y/N: ...ok then

Sana: will you be happy if i go?  i mean... do you want me to?

Y/N: ...yea i want you there

Sana: ...

Y/N: ...

Sana: i'm sorry y/n...it's ok if you don't want me to go

Sana: i know things have been weir-

Y/N: please come sana

Y/N: really, i mean it

Sana: oh...ok!

Y/N: ok

As you moved through the crowd you saw the face you've longed for. The person you had been missing. Sana.

She wasn't alone. She was walking next to Momo. The both of them had classes all day so they still had their book bags on them. Their backs were facing you as you approached them. You had an idea.

You walked up to the two girls, making sure to go unnoticed. Then you suddenly yanked on their backpacks lightly while yelling, "I can't do this." Blabbering whatever came to mind first.

Both girls turned around with a scare, Momo screaming loudly of course.

After the initial shock wore off. Sana replied, "What happened?" meanwhile Momo was hitting your shoulder cursing at you.

"I can't do this. I don't think I can go up there."

Despite the punches you were receiving from Momo you were solely focused on Sana. Your gazes met and locked. Sana reached out for your hand to calm your anxiety. Old habits. But you weren't opposed and you didn't feel like pulling back either.

It had been a few days since you both last spoke. Two weeks since you broke up. You would pass each other at school, sharing some of the same classes. But things were a bit different. Post breakup. You texted every once in a while trying to remain friends. Trying to remain in each other's lives. It wasn't the same.

Even though you had broken up, your presence wasn't unwelcomed by Sana. The two of you remained close during the beginning. Sitting down next to each other as you watched the first events. Momo tagged along but stayed a bit behind. You tried playing it cool at first, keeping a slight distance. There's never been any awkwardness between the two of you, so conversation came easily. Almost like nothing ever happened. Almost.

There was a shift in Sana. She went quiet and appeared to be focused on the current musical act, but her face showed she was debating something inside her head. You could tell it was something serious by the way she was chewing on her bottom lip.

You can't recall Sana's exact words. She had leaned close into your side. Her front touching your shoulder. Breath tickling your ear as she whispered, "I miss you y/n/n."

"Take me back y/n..."

"Please."

You turned around to meet her face. The sudden shift in Sana caught you off guard. Not expecting this sudden topic. You regained focus quickly, shifting to Sana's features that were just an inch away. She had a soft, sad smile. Her eyes pleading. Sana was your weakness. Your everything. You couldn't ever say no to her. So you met her eyes and gave her a slight nod while softly smiling at her. Sana's smile grew and she gave you a small peck on the cheek.

The rest of that night was great. Until Sana disappeared.

She had gone off somewhere with Nayeon and Jihyo. The anxiety had returned. This time you were sure that it was about performing later that night. You wanted to run away. Your hands began to sweat and you searched for Sana.

Professor Park came up to you, asked you when you wanted to go up. Currently it was the second open mic participant on stage. He said you could go third or last for the open mic. "I'll go third. I don't want to end it weak." Professor Park laughed at your comment, thinking you were joking. You were joking. Partially.

Sana came up to you as your conversation with the professor ended. When he left you started complaining and pretended you were going to leave. You knew Sana would beg you to stay. She held onto your hands trying to calm you down.

You were up next and had begun to really get nervous. Performances and public speaking just aren't your thing.

The host called up your name. Your hands started to shake. Heart pounded in your ears. You parted from Sana, she slowly let your hands go. You hesitated letting go. You wanted to take her with you.

As you walked up to the stage you heard cheering and applause. You turned to look at the crowd. There you recognized Momo, Mina, Dahyun, Chaeyoung, and Tzuyu cheering loudly. You took the mic and mumbled that you weren't prepared. Though you don't know if you said it loud enough for everyone to have heard. Hopefully no one had caught that.

You recited your poem's title and said it incorrectly. You mentally slapped yourself, but you rectified yourself and restated the title. You continued with your poem. Your voice, hands, and legs weren't as shaky as the previous performances in class. You heard this one guy in the crowd blurt, "Shiiiiiiiitt" as you read through the final lines of your poem.

At the end there was a small hesitation for the applause because of the sudden twist in your work. That was your intention. The applause and cheers came soon. Especially from your friends. You turned to glance at them and saw Nayeon, Jeongyeon, and Jihyo pretending to wipe tears from their eyes as they "cried" on each other's shoulders. Competing with each other on who could seem the most realistic.

You got down the stage. Hurriedly walked down the middle towards the back of the cafe. To Sana. As soon as you reached her she opened her arms. You wrapped your arms around her. Sana gently rubbed your back as you held tightly onto her. "I'm so proud of you baby" she cooed.

Sana let go and slightly pushed you off to grab a hold of your hand. She led you to a secluded area of the cafe. Then she palmed your face and grabbed the back of your neck to pull you into a kiss.

You had missed the feeling of her soft lips.

But like all good things, it came to an end.

Nighttime came quicker than you wanted it to. You were now back in your dorm. All you wanted was to lay in bed and relax. The rollercoaster of emotions draining your energy. But the ride still wasn't over. You were sat up in bed, on the phone with Sana.

She wanted to break up again. She had just asked to get back together a couple hours ago but here you were. Sana asked for space once again. Explaining that she had been dealing with insecurities, didn't know who she was, and had other personal issues. She needed time to find herself and figure things out for herself. As hard as you tried to reassure her, tell her she was perfect, give her nothing but love she insisted she needed space. You respected her decision.

That Friday night felt like it would never end. Felt like you couldn't catch a break. You felt nothing and everything at the same time.

Word was out that you and Sana broke up. Again. How everyone found out, you don't know. You were sitting in the common room before class with Momo and Jeongyeon. They were bickering about some nonsense. You didn't have it in you to join them. So you pretended to read your English textbook. Sana entered the common room. She headed straight towards Miyeon, who was across the room, to ask her about upcoming finals. You couldn't stop yourself from looking at her. That was when Nayeon and Jihyo joined your table.

Nayeon shoved your shoulder, "Why aren't you with your girl?"

"She's not my girl," you whispered.

Somehow Momo and Jeongyeon who were bickering the entire time with Jihyo included, who joined in as soon as she sat down, managed to hear and quieted down. They all looked at you, their eyes a mix of pity and sadness. This wasn't anything new to them but it still saddened them to hear the news.

Nayeon had always been supportive of you and Sana. She was the one who introduced you to one another. So she couldn't help but to gently ask, "Why?"

As you remembered all of yesterday's events, Sana whispering to take her back. Holding her hands again. Being wrapped in her arms. Her soft warm lips. Her warm smile and gentle eyes. Being comforted by her. Having her close. The long conversation you had over the phone. The break up. The space she wanted. You felt your chest contort and rip in two.

"I don't know."

"Well, I do know but I just don't want to say."

It was clear what Sana wanted. She made sure of that. You just couldn't explain that to Nayeon and the others without breaking. Thankfully, they seemed to have understood that.

"Hey, we get it. It'll be alright y/n/n." Jeongyeon calmly said as she wrapped an arm around your shoulder.

"C'mon now let's head to class."

All of you got up and started to head for class.

Throughout the day you dragged yourself from class to class. Trying to forget about Sana. You were failing miserably. You decided to head to the restroom to splash some water on your face. See if that would help.

As you were about to push the restroom door it was suddenly pulled open from the other side. You looked up to find Sana, surprised to see you. Your eyes met and you felt your heart clench. You weren't thinking. Your brain stopped working and your heart started going into overdrive, so you jokingly muttered, "Excuse me...I'm just going in for a quick cry" as you squeezed beside Sana to enter.

Sana quickly turned around and headed towards you. Shutting the door in the process.

You felt a hand take a hold of your wrist pulling you back. You didn't expect Sana to follow you in. You really did feel like crying now.

Sana studied you. You couldn't meet her gaze.

She apologized and you couldn't conjure up a response. You just stood there staring at the floor. Brain still not functioning. Heart still in overdrive, wanting nothing but Sana. Your heart fought with itself inside your ribcage. The hammering and ache screaming to run and stay.

Then she pulled you into her arms. As much as you wanted to cry mere seconds ago you couldn't. Your heart was rushing with a mix of emotions, but the fight inside from earlier had subsided. You just let yourself sink into Sana for the moment. You wanted to kiss her. So you pulled back a little and leaned in. Halfway through you felt Sana's arms begin to come up your shoulders. Getting ready to push you back. It was then you realized you shouldn't, so instead you swiftly glided your head to lean on Sana's shoulder. You couldn't help but let out a defeated sigh. Your heart sunk so low.

A pair of hands lifted to caress the back of your neck. Sana guided your head up and leaned in. The kiss was soft, it was more than a peck but still it felt too short. You had gotten what you wanted, but you didn't know how to feel about that.

Sana pulled back and softly palmed the side of your face caressing you with a sad smile. You tried reciprocating as best as you could, but your smile was much smaller and weaker than Sana's. Then she exited the restroom. Leaving you there. You stood there for a while. You couldn't stop replaying what just happened. You felt so stupid. Lost.

-- End of Flashback --

The sun has fully set. Your thoughts are still filled with Sana. Will she ever come back? It's been at least half a year since then. You still see her around campus but she's always glued to Miyeon's hip. Any and all attempts to get her to talk to you are intercepted by her best friend. Sana also makes an effort in ignoring you. If you pass each other in the hall she practically sprints away with her head down. Or she feigns to be doing something on her phone. Face immensely close to her phone trying to block her face from your sight. If you catch her staring at you she turns away instantly. If she's hanging out with Momo, Nayeon, or any of your other friends she makes an excuse to leave. Never acknowledging your presence. She practically runs from you. It left you dumbfounded the first couple of times. Leaving the others to apologize on Sana's behalf. You couldn't handle the pain all of Sana's actions caused you. So you stopped trying to reach out or get close. You accepted the distance she wanted to create.

Now you just feel a hollow cavern that continues to grow inside your chest as more time passes. At this point your ribcage feels sore from the constant fight and ache your heart has been through. All you could do is sigh as you put out the remaining bud of the cigarette you had lit up. Lazily you brush yourself off to head back inside.

"I'll wait until you're ready."

[riririnnnn]

It was the end of Ubers match when I first stumbled upon a tweet on Pinterest which sowed the theory of Kaiser destroying Sae's dream in my mind. And honestly, after this seeing panel:

I'm starting to believe more and more in that theory.

It was evident way before Ness's backstory that Kaiser is definitely NOT a newbie in the soccer industry which gives an ample amount of time for Sae to face Kaiser in a match considering Sae didn't return to Japan for straight four years.

And I highly think that Sae faced off Kaiser in the later moment of those four years.

Why?

Because:

He looked miserable when he first returned from Spain in comparison to his later return (almost a year later) from Spain:

And I do think that if you were to lose a long-term dream, then it'll show on your face much more during the earlier days rather than a year later when you get used to the feeling of losing your dream.

Further, Kaiser crushing Sae's dream fits well in two questions that revolves in my mind whenever I think about Sae's backstory:

Why Sae started hating his own country, Japan?

The above question can be modified as:

Why Sae started hating Japanese soccer players?

As I said in one of my previous posts, I do believe that when Sae stepped into Spain, he realised that he was the Frog in the well—he realised how vast the world is and that he wasn't as great of a player as he thought he was. He probably struggled a lot but was somewhat successful in maintaining a balance when Kaiser came in like a wrecking ball to strike the nail in the coffin.

Of course, considering Sae's personality, he would've surely put up a fight against Kaiser just like Isagi did, but unlike that blueberry boy, Sae was already very exhausted and sadly, after some time, he gave up.

Now to address the actual answer to the question: Sae hated how much Japan celebrated him when he was just a child. He was showered with the title of prodigy since he was a kid and he hated that his own country made him feel like he was someone special when in reality, he was just the best among the worst. Further, even if he wanted to be better, there was no one in Japan who could help him do that. He hated how he was made to believe by his country's people that he had what it took to be the world's best striker.

Kind of like a betrayal of some sort.

This gentle soul explained it very well too:

Also, a bit unrelated, but this panel piqued my interest:

German you say, hm?

Moving onto next question:

Why Sae chose to be a Midfielder then?

I have two reasoning for this question:

Firstly, what is the position closest to the striker? Yes, a Midfielder. So, by being a Midfielder, Sae is still trying to be as close to his dream as possible. It is his type of compromise.

Secondly, do you remember what Rin really liked? Yes, Sae's passes. And which position's main role is to pass? Yes, a Midfielder.

You getting me?

It's like Sae is trying to get some kind of closure by reliving those good old times when Rin and Sae played in the Kamakura United (their soccer club). Besides, if Rin were to be the world's best striker, then he would also need the world's best midfielder too, you know.

You getting me?

The only reason I don't want this theory to come true is because it kind of strips us off from an opportunity to get a new badass character.

I also don't want this theory to be true is because I'm solely holding onto this panel:

I'm desperately holding into this panel as a hope that Sae still cares for Rin.

After we got an insight of Kaiser-Ness relation in chapter 261, I can't help but fear that Sae may think of Rin in the same way—someone for his own selfish needs.

And if anything like this happens, I'll transform into the biggest Kaiser's hater alive. Even after chapter 261, I still somewhat defend him for his behaviour, but Itoshi brothers have been the closest to my heart—istg I'll rip Kaiser's hair from his scalp if the brothers' bond gets tarnished because of him.

That's all, I guess.

[a-small-writer-in-a-big-world]

System error: android!reader x kyle gaz garrick

You had to get into contact with your engineer.

Something had short circuited when you were at the pub with the others. You had felt a little too warm when Sergeant Garrick had touched you and suggested that you stay despite having done what you were asked to do.

You didn't understand it. Not the way that they had continued to want to bond with you or the way that your processors reacted to it.

Something must've gotten corrupted when you researched how to act in a pub setting. You knew that if you didn't delete the information off of your hard drives, your engineers would be upset but it had to stay in order for them to figure out what the issue was.

They'll scrap you for it but it was for the best. Your job still needed to be done and if you were malfunctioning then you needed to be replaced.

You were on your way to your office to get into contact with them when you saw Gaz waiting outside your door.

You weren't sure what to do as he gave you a smile, one that made you stop what you were doing, and you watched him carefully as he came up to you.

"I was wondering where you went, I wanted to invite you to lunch." He offered and your processors froze. "Unless you already ate."

"Why?" You asked and he raised an eyebrow.

"Just trying to be friendly is all."

Friendly. You understood that the reason why he was trying to be friendly was because he saw you as a person and not a machine, an oversight on those who designed you, and now it was becoming a problem. They must've not expected any of them to be considerate enough to want to make a connection with you, which to you seemed to be a massive mistake.

These men made connections with everyone, you didn't need to read through their records to know that.

What were they thinking? What were you thinking?

You don't think. That's not possible.

You blinked a couple times, frozen in your spot as your processors raced to compute a response as well as make sense of what exactly was going on inside you.

Meanwhile Gaz stood in front of you with slight concern and confusion as you stared at him with the same wide eyed look you had last night at the pub.

"It's okay if you don't want to." He assured you and you blinked a couple times. "I'm not trying to put you on the spot."

For some reason you didn't want to disappoint him. He was making an effort to befriend you and it would be for the betterment of everyone if you were on good terms with them. It would make everything easier and yet his effort was frying your circuits.

Instead of telling him no you did the unthinkable.

You lied.

"I have already eaten but I will join you, Sergeant Garrick." You told him in a split second, unable to really understand why you said what you did.

"Great." He nodded for you to follow him. "And you can just call me Gaz, don't have to be formal with me."

You nodded and filed that information away as you walked beside him. You tried to pay attention to what he was saying but you were focusing hard on trying to sort out whatever was causing everything to go haywire within you.

It had to be a corrupt file. A virus maybe. Something was breaking everything inside of you and making you do things you weren't programmed to do.

After lunch you had to fix the issue.

"I'm glad you decided to join me." Gaz caught your attention again. "Was a little worried about you."

"You were worried about me?" You couldn't help but be confused.

Gaz gave you a sympathetic look. His eyes turned serious as he glanced back at your office and nodded.

"Yeah...you spend a lot of time in your office working. This job takes a lot out of you and I've seen it eat people alive." He explained and your eyebrows knitted together. "So I'm worried."

"But you don't know me." You pointed out. It's not like he could get to know you, there was nothing to figure out considering you were just a set of walking code.

Gaz shrugged.

"Well I'm trying to right now."

You felt something from that. You're not sure what the feeling was but you knew that you felt something as the wires and the fans inside your whirred to life. It sent something through you and you could feel everything inside become overwhelmed.

This wasn't supposed to happen and unfortunately it was because of Gaz.

"I have to leave." You turned around, hoping to get to your office before everything inside you combusted.

"Wait-"

It was almost immediate that your processors forced a shut down. Your entire body slammed against the floor with a loud metal bang.

A/n: i too would breakdown if Gaz asked me to lunch (i still don't know how to write androids lol it might get better)

[sensitivehandsomeactionman]

350 fans attended. 10 fans per table. Buffet style. It took a long time for us to all get our food, pick a seat and sit down. 10 minutes later, Jensen and Steve walked in and greeted all of us from the stage.

Jensen started by explaining how they got this panel idea: because he often gets band related questions in panels and he feels bad about it sometimes, because not everyone with him is involved and they couldn't weigh in. (He jokingly lowered his voice)"Jared", and he doesn't want anyone to feel left out. And also, the only person(s) who could answer Radio Company related questions are either him or Steve. So they got the idea of doing a panel specifically for music related questions together and since we are in Texas, BBQ!

How do they collaborate with each other? Jensen said Steve is the more musically talented of the two, he is the one who could read music and communicate with professionals and explain what they need. Jensen just, he considers himself as having sharp ears. He might not know what exactly something was called but he knows when something just sounds right (or wrong), just by listening to it. And Steve is the one who enriches and develops from his hunch, and communicates with other professional musicians to work on them. Because, Jensen admits, he does not have the vocab of all those technical terms.

They did a little demonstration with guitar, Jensen strung a simple tune and gestured to Steve, and Steve was like, "You want me to do it here, now?" but he picked it up and made it into a much more complex melody and Jensen laughed, "now you are just showing off!" Steve mentioned it's like Jensen's "acting stuff" and Jensen fake astonished like, "Acting STUFF?" And Steve was like, How would I know what you do? All I know is you were always off busy doing your...stuff!

City Grown Willow. It's a song Steve wrote as a gift to a couple of his friends 10 years ago. The husband was from Colorado (cowboy) and wife from LA. They had split up now but they were a great couple. And the song was just kind of put on the shelf after it was written. One day Jensen and Steve were trying some music together, and Jensen asked Steve if he has anything that's already baked. Steve said you know most of my stuff already! You were there when I wrote them! Then he suddenly remembered, oh there is this one...and afterwards Jensen was like, can I have it? And that's how it came to be.

How did they first start? They were both from Texas and became friends in the good old days. Early 2000s they were roommates in Vancouver and Steve sometimes recorded at home. When he was recording his first album, Jensen walked in and was like, what is that? I love the song. He casually sang the harmony and Steve was like, I didn't know you could sing? Jensen was humble about it and said something like, Yeah I could carry a tune now and then. But Steve was so impressed he insisted for Jensen to record it properly right there. Well they were at home anyway so, no biggy? And Steve ended up using Jensen's harmony for that song in his first album. And it went from there. They've collaborated together and developed more than 50 songs now.

Austin summer! Hhh Steve is an Austin local. He said every year he gave a birthday concert. It's a small gathering, just for friends. And this year is the 10th anniversary and everyone was like, Steve, could we do it anywhere but Austin for this year? August, too hot! And he was like, well, yeah, all right. And then Jensen called, and his 10th anniversary concert was still held in Austin! Last week. Jensen said, Well, it was meant to be! Also Jensen: I used to live here! Austin is great! But not in June, July, August, and sometimes throw in September too. Never liked Austin summer, and why did creation choose August I have asked this question for a year now.

Fans asked him what he misses most about Texas and he said, I don't? I am still here all the time. I am here now, I was here a few weeks ago and then a few weeks before that. My whole family's still here my mom and dad are in Dallas I often visit them. So I kind of... I didn't catch what he said after that but I got the idea that he thinks of himself more like commuting, instead of permanently moved out.

They mentioned an Easter egg they put in one of their songs, they used the exact same letters for 2 sentences and they were really proud of it and high fives each other all excited afterwards. I think it might be All Our Own but I'm not sure. Maybe someone else remembers?

The new song Home on the Road Jensen was shooting Rust in New Mexico and rented a small house next to the Rio Grande river. It's quiet and out of the way and he walks on riverbank trail on his day off and loved it. When Steve visited and they tried to hum a tune out and once they got it, the first words came out of Jensen for that tune was "home on the road". Just like that little house, his home on the road. Both him and Steve travel so much for work, it resonated. And they wrote the song. They said it's not polished yet but they sang it for us anyway. The tune reminded me of City Grown Willow. I think it'll become my new favorite.

If they were invited to perform in ACL festival will they go? Jensen: No!! Steve: Ugh definitely? Jensen: So here is your answer. Steve will drag me kicking and screaming to there. They laughed so hard and then Jensen said, no any time you have a chance to perform in that capacity, of course you go.

Talked about Kaleo and JJ. J2 and JJ are friends and they get together whenever JJ visits and they'd love to collaborate together if ever get the chance. This is all I could recall!

[badgyalshii]

ITS NEVER OVER |||| (FINALE)

Word count: 4.1k

Paul Atredies x F!Reader (always safe for POCS + PLUSSIZE)

warnings: do NOT read this without reading the past chapters! This is the FINALE. Depression, language, death.

A/n: no words can describe how much this fic lowkey affected me, im greatful for my new followers and thank you for reading this and riding in this journey with me! I love you all, and proceed with caution, and once yr done reading come ttm!

READDDD THE FIRST CHAPTERS! LAST WARNING ITS RLLY GOOD🙄 I . II . III . IV .

Although you and chani shared a room,it still felt like something was missing, and it was clearly paul. You were already scared, but now you grew uncomfortable, you knew these people around you, but it was clear as day something changed, and both you and chani spoke about it, the tension in the air thick between the people you knew your whole life, something was up. You still didn't know where he was and you explained this to chani which she held you in her arms and listened to you vent while softly messing with your hair. ¨he will find you, he will come back, paul is strong, y/n, smart¨ she muttered, looking at you. You would cry if you could, but you never did. It was a rule, don't waste water, so it was in your bones not to cry. It was still your first day coming back to the palace, and it was late at night, you barely heard any footsteps outside of the rather big, dark, and quiet room.

¨maybe i should try to find him?¨ you said, looking at up chani and she let out a sigh before letting you go and touching her chin, rubbing it before coming up to your cheek. ¨you deserve rest. This is too much, enough about paul y/n! Just sleep. That's all you need to do, he will find you¨ her tone was demanding to which you didn't understand why, you furrowed your eyebrows and looked at her sadly, and she laughed before standing up. ¨you know what? Do what you want to y/n. 6 years on the road for what! I've spent my years with you, and you aren't appreciative at all, it hurts my feelings,¨ she revealed, putting her hands on her hips and pacing. ¨paul, paul, paul! Go find him! And when you do and hes not the same dont even fucking talk to me¨ she laughed. ¨chani, don't be like this-¨

¨like what? Seriously, what? If thats what you want, go fucking get it. Because I'm done. I've done enough! You can't even live without paul! Have you not learned anything on your own? From stilgars teachings? From me?!¨ She blew up, all the things she wanted to finally say, she said, before she couldn't, because she tried her best to hear you out, but god you are so hard headed. She didn't even want to look at you. ¨why are you treating me like this?¨ you whispered, looking at her hurt. There was a lump in your throat and your lip pouted. ¨stop treating me like this¨ you said, looking at her begging. ¨you're so unbelievable. I hope you find what you want¨ she sighed and exited the door. You watched as she left before standing and trying to push the frog in your throat down with your knuckles.

This was all so sudden, why does she feel this way? Why did she do that to you? What did you do that was so wrong. But you were now awoken, aware that she wasn't wrong at all, and it hurt. It hurt that you were this way, could you live without paul? It wasn't your fault that you felt like this, maybe she was just jealous, but that isn't the right way of thinking. You laid in the cotton sheets and sat in the darkness, thinking, drifting throughout all of your thoughts as your throat clogged up and you tried your hardest to fight the feeling, but you couldn't. You let out a weak sob, trying to fight the tears that were about to escape your eyes. You swallowed, why? How long had she been feeling this way? Did she secretly hate you? Does she hate you? Maybe you're exaggerating. You came to terms with that and hoped when you slept you woke up to paul.

Knock knock knock

You woke up in a panic, how long have you slept? Was it the next morning? The room was horrifyingly black and you'd been in such a trance you forget what happened before you went to sleep. You heard the knocks again and you became nervous, slowly standing and wondering if you should pretend like you just weren't there, and suddenly the door opened, hardened eyes looked at you, you could feel it, but you couldn't see it. You heard the door creek as it continued to open until the door hit the wall with a small bang.

You slowly crouched down, reaching for the dagger that was in your boot, ̈hello?!¨ you called out after you stood in position. What the fuck was going on? So many thoughts coursed through your head as you wondered who was looking at you, would they say anything back? What should-

¨ Empress irulan has called you for dinner¨ the deep dark voice said, before reaching for the light and flickering it on. You let out an oh and your position changed to an awkward one, putting the dagger in your pocket before he turned the light on. You nodded your head, before letting out a chuckle. ¨erm, didn't know there was a light¨ he didn't find it funny, but he didn't look like he found anything funny. He wore a mask that covered his mouth and his eyebrows looked like he was always angry. ¨follow me¨ he said before turning around, and started walking without you.

It didn't take you long to follow him, the halls were long and quiet, only light from the chandeliers supporting your vision, if it wasn't such a gut sickening situation, the place would seem cooler and more lovely. The only thing that could be heard is the guards hard steps against the pavement of the floor. You looked around and tried to take in the area but every time you tried to think about something positive you couldn't help but think maybe this was the night you were gonna die. You had no protection besides your own, considering chani was mad and ran off to wherever. ¨bitch¨ you muttered under your breath thinking about it, and that seemed to take over your mind now. Why would she do that? What an asshole, and you both could have just talked about it! No need to blow up in your face, trash. You seemed to still be angry about it as you arrived to the door.

You finally arrived at the offly secret room, the entire room was black, the only thing that shined was the dinner table and irulan since there was a single chandelier hanging almost close to touch the dinner table, which must've been sturdy. Irulan sipping wine with a dinner plate in front of her and the same thing on the opposite side of her, guessing that space was for you. “Your majesty” the guard says, irulan looks over at the guard and the guard took notice before nodding, leaving the premises.

There you were, all alone, or you'd hope, with Irulan. Truth was, you could take her on your own no problem. You silently walked over and she watched you the entire time, you pulled out your own seat before scooting yourself in. you cleared your throat and looked ahead. Pretty embarrassing, if you will.

Irulan was dressed in silks, diamonds, everything anyone would want, her hair soft, teeth white and the way she stared at you like you were so beneath her was infuriating, but also made you insecure. You knew how you looked. Your hair is messy. Rips in your clothes. Self care isn't really relevant when you're on the road. She sipped her wine slowly, watching your every move before she set down the glass, and when she did, it was an offly loud sound. You awkwardly looked at her, you tried, tried your hardest actually to hide the fact that you were nervous, that you were scared, but the way that Irulan was looking at you, it was as if she could already tell.

Looking at this glorious food and wine made your throat quench, your mouth watering at the sight. It was filled with mashed potatoes, steak and vegetables, clearly from somewhere else because on this planet you don't really get such fantasies. You looked down at the meal and pursed your lips together, it wasn't that serious, but when you've been looking for scraps for years, and there was a plate just looking at you, waiting for it to be eaten, there's only so much you could do.

You didn't trust it, you averted your eyes from the plate and back up to her. ¨you can eat, you know¨ she said, her voice stern and upright as a smirk played on her lips. She couldn't help but laugh, her white teeth showcasing while you sat there, nervous, suspicious, annoyed, but now, embarrassed. Was there no way you could beat her? Was she just better than you? That wasn't even the point, was she aiming to kill you tonight.

You shut out all of the questions, this was a shot to assert your dominance.your eyebrows furrow in a suspicious state and you placed your hands together. ¨why am I here?¨and you broke her laugh, her eyebrows raised as she cleared her throat. This time, you sat tall, your voice strong. Stronger than you thought it would be. She came back to sitting straight and took a sip of her wine once again.

¨why did you come back?¨ she answered your question with another question. You looked at her before wincing your eyes, ¨is this about paul-¨ before you could finish your sentence, she cleared her throat and flashed you a soft smile. ¨We haven't talked since the wedding, won't even have a child for the sake of his bloodline¨ she said, now she has become comfortable. Picking up her glass and moving it to where the liquid forms into a circle. You had nothing to say. ¨you're a very smart girl¨ she says, looking at the glass.

¨I am a woman, thank you¨ you stated, you sat up, she eyed you, her head slowly turning up as she looked at you up and down once again. The room fell quiet. Weirdly quiet. She studied you again and again, as if she was trying to find out about you. ¨do you have secrets?¨ she asked, picking up her fork and taking a bite of her steak. ¨doesn't everyone?¨ you replied. The way she bit the steak, man, you wanted a piece. You could feel your stomach rumble. She chewed and nodded her head. ¨is the reason why you came back a secret?¨ she asked, swallowing her steak.

¨i came back because paul is the one i love-¨ ¨he's changed¨ irulan cut you off. ¨lots of blood on your hands can make you a changed person, you'll see¨ she winked and pointed her fork at you. Your eyebrows furrowed in confusion, ¨how do you know if you guys haven't talked since the wedding?¨ you argued, but you didn't want to fight it off, you wanted to hear what she had to say. ¨you'll see it, in his eyes-¨ ¨everyone knows his eyes are blue-¨

¨it's not that, y/n. Hes….what is a good way to say this¨ she thought out loud. ¨grumpy¨ she finished, before taking another bite of her steak. ¨and by grumpy you mean what?¨ ¨lazy¨ she replies, now taking a bite of her mashed potatoes before she looks up at you. ¨How could he be lazy if he's been gone for two years trying to find me? You know, I don't understand you. What are you trying to get out of me? Hm? What do you want?¨ you put your hands on the table about to lift yourself so suddenly before irulan stood and told you not to move. ¨I ordered the guards to watch and if you make any sudden movements they will take you out no hesitancy, i recommend you sit¨ she says quickly. You look in her eyes, it showed genuine concern as her hand was on yours.

¨ So you're scared of me?¨ you lowered, she sat along with you before shrugging and drinking the rest of what was in her wine glass. ¨let's be honest, you could have taken me out the first time you saw me . irulan says, you say nothing as you watch her, ̈and the food is poisoned?¨ you asked. She shook her head no, all this time wasted, you could've been with chani, you could've left, to find paul,, but here you sat. ¨so once again. Why am i here?¨ you asked again.

¨I don't want to be weak to others, if Paul comes back, I don't want anyone to know about you guys¨ she answers genuinely, it seems as if she's quite tipsy. You chuckle ¨irulan. Everyone does,¨ this was surprising, and how could irulan possibly want you to hide your love for paul when that's all you've really known, even in public, holding hands, considerably long hugs, small and innocent kisses. ¨ Now if you would excuse me¨ you look up, around before slowly standing, leaving irulan where she was. She looked at you, watched you intently and her eyes sat fierce, almost telling you to watch your back silently. You let out a breath before taking the plate and the wine with you, exiting the door and now having to find your way back to your room.

What a shitshow in one day, you would've thought things went way different, and you thought about it in your head, the scenario you had as you continued to walk through the halls.

You ran to the walls of the palace, and the security guard finally smiled for once in his life, considering the usual role he had to play as the job. You imagined he told you, “Paul's waiting, go to your room” and somehow you just knew where the room was. You'd see paul, paul sleeping, wondering what he dreamed of, since he was sleeping such soft snores, his nose flaring only from time to time. His eyebrows relaxed, his lightly chapped lips parted, taking in the air and softly breathing out. He wasn't tucked into the bed- no only when you were there to touch him and hold him in his sleep. He was shirtless, you touched his arm and softly forwarded it to the side of his cheek and up to his hair. His eyebrows would furrow before he opened his eyes, and when he did he blinked twice. Oh you remembered this like your left and your right, he wouldn't believe it, he would be so desperate in such a good situation, he cried for it. You'd make love to teach others before the night ended how it usually did, with you holding him and running your hands all through his hair and you both fell asleep.

You were so stuck in the dream that you bumped shoulders with someone, you caught a quick smell of this other, they smelled of salt and sand and as they took another step, you heard the crunch from his shoes. “Sorry” you let out a mutter, it came out in a groggy tone, didn't sound like you usually do, you sounded weak, sad and it didn't help that your head was hung low. He let out a hum and continued walking, at this point, you didn't care anymore, your day was already bad. You continued to walk, stepping and not picking up your feet before you decided maybe it was time to try the mashed potatoes that were on the plate, before you heard footsteps running to you, you looked over, did irulan just send one of her guards to you? But as he got closer, you saw his eyes, hazel, just looking at you and staring at you whilst he ran. You dropped the plate but kept the knife that was on the plate and stood in position for the second time today.

As the unknown person ran to you, you tried to breathe faster, heavier to tell when they were close, there he was! Quick! His hands reached out to you and when he pressed his body to yours, there was a squelch sound, of the knife breaking skin. You looked into the eyes that were pouring into your own with fear on your face, had you just made a mistake? The hazel eyes piercing your own were in shock, also covered in fear and you heard his mouth become agape. What the fuck just happened? Who is this?

You reach up with your free hand as he continued to hold you tightly and leaned on you, letting out a mutter, ¨y/n¨ he let out, you took off the mask and, ¨oh my god, no…no no no¨ your eyebrows furrowed as your mouth became agape. You froze and your hands shook, guilt covering your body.

¨paul¨ you said, when he tried to talk, he coughed blood on your face, drops of blood on the side of your lips and on your cheek, you let go of the knife in your hand and his body weight completely leaned on you making you both fall down. ¨paul paul paul, no!¨ you yelled, ¨no!¨ this couldn't be true, you were washed of accidental betrayal. All the blood dropped from your head to your feet. You laid him flat on his back and he choked every time he breathed, ¨talk to me! Please keep breathing, please, paul, please, it was an accident!¨ you let out, you sat in his lap and looked at the wound, you wouldn't be able to take off his thick cover as a shirt without taking out the knife, the handle was too thick. Sniffles came to your nose as you let out a loud fuck. ¨c-calm..do-wn¨ he choked. You looked at him before ripping off your shirt and wrapping it around his both to apply pressure to the wound. You leaned up and put your hand on the side of his cheek, your hand covered in his blood as you pleaded for him to stay alive. When he started to be unresponsive, still breathing and looking at you, trying to speak, you called out for help, yelled out that paul atreides has been stabbed, the emperor has been stabbed!

Guards instantly came and ripped you off of him, they put you in shitty and gritty handcuffs that itched your hands, but you weren't focused on that, tears brimmed your eyes as you watched the blood continue to pour from his mouth, he looked over, his body jittering, his lips moving as he was trying to tell you something, ¨i-i..found..¨ his hand reached up to you. ¨paul! Please!¨ you cried, yelling, the guards pulled you away and you shouted, ¨i love you! Please, hold on! Wait for me!” you yelled, you tried breaking out of the guards firm hands but it was no use, and it was probably better that way, better to get him to safety. You sniffled again and your head hung low as they pulled you to wherever.

You traveled down the stairs, into this place you didn't know, but as you continued to walk, there were cells, prison cells. People in them looked desperate, starved. Tears continued to stroll down your cheek, why? Why out of all days, you are positive you just killed the love of your life, and you didn't even hesitate. They took off the cuffs and threw you in a cell, you fell to the ground and on your knees as the guards looked down at you from the other side of the gate. ¨just, tell me when he is alive…please ̈ you begged, looking up at them. One laughed while the other shook his head at you before they both walked away.

The cell was cold and looking at the marks on the wall, you could tell this isn't the place to be. You sat on the ground, knees up to your chest, you didn't want to eat, you didn't want to sleep, you just wanted to know if Paul was alive, it had been three days, men in the cells were picking at you, but you paid them no mind. Three shitty trays of food sat in front of you, a guard felt bad for you, telling you, you should eat something, but you just couldn't. You sat in the same position they left you in, lips chapped, body shivering, and you were sure you would never return.

Suddenly, you heard something from the intercom, clear as day, you looked up to the speaker in your cell, ¨excuse me¨ you heard them clear their throat, this was the time, to know if he was alive, you stood and paced, waited on them to speak again, anxiety in your stomach and a rock laid in your throat, you tried to push it down with your knuckles. You looked at the speaker, eager and needy. ¨our emperor,¨ they cleared their throat again…you put your hands on your hair, ¨hurry up!¨ you yelled, still pacing.

¨has fallen¨ a shriek left your lips, hurt washed through your body and you fell on your knees again. Prisoners cheered through the cells, hell yeahs, wooo!´s. You grabbed your heart as cries escaped your lips, your throat hurt, you screamed from the top of your lungs. ¨y/n y/l/n has murdered the emperor¨ your mouth only fell more and you covered it with the palm of your hand. ¨holy! Ain't that you?!¨ the prisoner across from you said, while pointing at you. You said nothing, but he laughed. ¨emperor got killed by a girl!¨ he joked, but then, people started cheering you on now.

You heard a chant of your name and it made your head almost dizzy. ¨no! Shut up! Shut up!¨ you yelled, voice hoarse, no one could hear you the way they screamed and cheered, smiles on their faces. You lost so much breath your vision was poor, but then you heard your cell being opened, you laid over, looking at the ground before you felt guards grabbing you from under your armpits and lifting you up, your feet dragged as they were forced to move you. You still heard others shouting your name. What was this? Where were they taking you? You couldn't focus on one thing, and when you closed your eyes, they stayed close.

When you awoke, your neck and wrists were restrained, when you opened your eyes and looked up, there was a crowd, filled with freman, your people, shouting kill her. Your eyebrows furrowed when you looked at your wrists, you were about to be beheaded. You shook and tried to get out of there. Others laughed and you looked up again. They stood chani and paul's mother, chani looked sick, this wasn't true. Irulan stood there also, a black veil on her head as she watched you, no emotion on her face, but then suddenly there was a smirk. ¨silence!¨ a man yelled over the crowd, ¨does anyone object to this death sentence?¨ he yelled over. You looked at chani, then Lady Jessica, your eyes pleaded, but the way they wanted you dead, if they tried to fight for you, it seemed like they would be in your situation also. Stilgar looked at you with a stern, hard and stiff look. All these people, all your people, just turned a blind eye to the love you and Paul shared, you didn't even get a chance to explain yourself, would you go out unheard? Your breath quickened and you tried to calm yourself, tried to make peace, but once you blinked your eyes, they never opened.

This was it, you were dead. At least you would meet him on the other side. Looking back on it, maybe this was meant to be, in a way, it was beautiful. The pair suffered when they were not together, but now they get everlasting peace and happiness. Maybe they would get married, walk along the green grass, dress in all white, have a few kids together. They had each other, through thick and thin, when they hadn't seen each other for years their hearts were still connected and thought about each other everyday. But this is the end. Lovers now turn into soulmates as they fade off in the air together, and never look back.

TAGLIST 🏷

@huh01011 @heartsforchalamet

[jimin-bangtan]

HOW DID I FIRST NOTICE "JIKOOK"?🤔

Jimin & Jung Kook

On my Tumblr profile, I have stated that I am an OT7-loving, Jimin-biased, JiKook-observing fan. People familiar with KPop know that many fans commonly use a standard naming convention, where they combine parts of 2 or more names in order to identify the people being discussed. The term JiKook stands for Jimin (JM) and Jung Kook's (JK) pairing. I had not planned to post on this topic, but the surprise filming of, and the coming release of, the "Are You Sure?" travel series, starring Jimin & Jung Kook, inspired my decision.

Regardless of the unusual fandom arguments about Jimin and Jung Kook's interactions, there are a few descriptions about them that cannot be denied. For example, they are both from Busan. They both debuted in the same KPop band (BTS). They are the only 2 members who are in both the vocal and dance lines. They are friends, and they are close. I will not give attention to any denial of those descriptors whatsoever. I am convinced that the amount of footage & information provided by the members and the company settles any disagreements about items like those, without question. Any other label, name, or category you put on their relationship is up to personal interpretation until or unless they ever decide to directly define it for themselves. I have my own interpretation based on what I have gathered, but it is up to each person to determine their own view in light of the lack of confirmation.  And we all don't have to agree - or argue about it.

Are there other close relationships within BTS? Of course.  But something drew my attention toward this pair specifically. In spite of the introduction above, the purpose of this post came about when one day I realized I had never identified for myself what initially caused me to see, then become intrigued by, JiKook’s bond in particular. So I thought back and tried to remember the moment that captured my attention enough to watch them more closely. After thinking for a bit, I realized it happened during one of the first nonperformance events I ever saw. 

I have explained in My BTS Experience posts that my sister introduced me to BTS but through performances mostly.  We watched many performances for a good length of time whenever we were together, but I didn’t venture out to view them on my own at that time.   At this point of observation, Jimin was already the member I leaned toward and tended to observe more often than the others. However, I really liked all of them and felt the group was interesting and exceptionally talented.

One day my sister unusually pulled up a BTS nonperformance event that had just occurred. It was the Festa 2022 dinner or what I like to call the Shock & Awe Dinner. I had never seen a Festa, so my sister explained that it was an annual event that occurred every June at the time of their anniversary in order to celebrate & reflect on the past, present, and future. By this point, I knew each of the guys' names and ages as well as a little of their stories and roles within the group. My sister had only told me they were a very close group, and they were all good friends. From what I had seen up to that point in performances, that bore out to be true.  

On this day the guys were eating while in conversation.  True to form, they reminisced about the past, considered the present, but most significantly revealed the future. As it turned out, they were headed into a hiatus due to having to (choosing to?) enlist in the military for their mandatory service - except the audience didn’t know that reason yet and were stunned by the revelation of a hiatus.

The “Shock & Awe” came from the surprise announcement as well as the emotional tone of the event. While they ate, they explained that they would be taking a break to explore solo projects and life itself but also promised to come back together with gained experience and knowledge [See my BTS Solo Chapter series posts]. In addition to the shared information, there was an undercurrent of emotions, as if there were many unspoken sentiments. The members cried and made somewhat cryptic comments. It was very emotional and genuine. It drew me in, and I was now rather curious about the group - beyond their performances - and about what was going on.

So when did I notice JiKook? Well, during the dinner (Link set to 5:00 mark), as the group was still eating and talking about their current activities that had yet to be announced or released, Suga brought up Jimin working on his solo album. Suga said he had heard one of JMs songs. JHope (real name Hoseok) mentioned he also had heard his song. [Strangely, neither of them said it was good or they liked it. Note: JMs album ended up being a huge success. Re: Jimin bias 😉]  While JM quickly clarified it was not the same song, JK - the youngest of the group - abruptly asked JM why he hadn’t played the songs for him yet. JM responded in playful defense that he could play his songs for everyone. JK stated, “I’m so upset!” in sort of a loud sing-song tone. RM added fuel to the fire and declared that JHope was always number 1 to JM. You could tell RM was trying to get JKs goat [tease him]. But why? JM put his hand to his head and leaned back briefly as if in a moment of anguish with a smile and a shake of his head “no”. JHope even shook his head no and waved off RMs comment to assure that statement was untrue. It is well known that JHope and Jimin, the long-term roommates, are very close. Their unproblematic rooming situation was even mentioned during that meal. RM continued, “We’re all 2nd to JHope.” JK again shouted, “I’m so upset!”  JM explained aloud that JHope happened to be at the office and that was why he had heard the song. JK exclaimed, “So upset!” {By now my brow was wrinkled in amusement.} Strangely, JK was smiling a little and even gave a little chuckle. JM explained he had invited everyone to come see him work. Jk again, “So upset!” 🤭 He still wore a small smile. Suga offered an explanation that JM gets embarrassed when showing his work. JK then stated that JM should apologize “Go on! Say you’re sorry.” which JM immediately did with a chuckle but somewhat serious! Overall, I was like, “What?” 😳 And this was within the first 10 minutes of the meal!  

Pictures from moments in Festa 2022 dinner (Click & expand to read dialogue.)

That seemed like an odd exchange based on how those few members had interacted. I wondered why the youngest was so “upset” about not hearing the songs when others had not mentioned they had or had not heard them either. I also wondered why the youngest felt he was obliged to have heard JMs songs and why he was demanding an apology from his elder and moreover why this elder accepted the demand and actually immediately apologized to the younger. What obligation did these 2 have toward each other? There also seemed to be an unexplained, playful reason for the exchange.  Was it scolding or teasing or both? But also from a younger member toward an older person in hierarchical (age conscious) South Korea? This definitely rang a bell for me. 🤔

Another less conspicuous, JiKook-specific event happened soon after (set to 16:50 mark).  I only noticed it after rewatching the dinner a few times. (Yes, I was so fascinated that I watched the entire dinner multiple times back to back. Little did I know that this was foretelling for my future as an eventual, devoted BTS fan.) The delay in recognizing this JiKook situation was because the subtle exchange did not occur in the same frame. It occurred while the group was discussing their new separate residences after having lived together for so long.  When JKs new home came up, JM and JK conspicuously made eye contact for what seemed to be about the topic of conversation. JK seemed amused, but I couldn’t quite read JMs expression. I only remember him later wondering aloud about how much of this footage would be able to be aired. (Click & expand to read dialogue.)

The photos above are from a slide in my personal slideshow that I created to understand all the JiKook information I eventually viewed out of order. The two pictures at the bottom were enlarged and put side by side, but they are not manipulated to show something that didn’t happen. They are showing what actually was happening at the same time but in separate frames. Watch the actual, official footage and see (Link is set to the 16:50 mark). The pictures were included in this way to reveal their actions in one space, so you can see they were looking at each other while the other members spoke about JKs house and his multiple mattresses.😆 JM even did a slight twitch of his eyebrow with the eye contact.  The pictures right above that happened in reverse order, but I switched them so you could see the body language occurring simultaneously as this conversation played out. This is why it took me a while to notice the exchange. This too made me think, “What is happening with these two?”

And that’s how I first noticed JiKook.  Then down the JiKook rabbit hole I went…🙂

Feel free to share your JiKook moment too, and watch "Are You Sure?" travel series on Disney+, starting August 8th.