#but i dont think i said anything unnecesary

[blood-teeth]

TMITAWH is 2 years old????!!!!

i cant believe i missed it that sounds so ridiculous to me! in my defense, i was driving for two weeks straight

i don't have anything planned for celebration; i'm so sorry! but i do have some updates!

for those that missed it, tmitawh is now a novel and will no longer be told in an interactive fiction format. this has upset a lot of people. i've lost a lot of followers over this announcement. and i can understand this to some extent, but largely i have to continue to be unapologetic about my choices.

this story is one that has, in every meaning of the phrase, saved my life. writing in this little world has gotten me through some of the darkest times and carried me through to the next day. at some point, IF stopped being a media that was capable of telling the story i wanted to tell.

i'm disheartened by a lot of the anons i've received. some are hateful and unkind. others are upset that they no longer will have the opportunity to pursue Cain or Ezio, and a few mention that they're not interested in reading a lesbian story and will not be reading the book if it ever makes it to publication. i've disregarded the first, but the second cuts the deepest i think.

i have never, ever been shy on this app that i'm a lesbian. i feel as though i've talked endlessly about it. being a lesbian is a huge facet of my identity and being told that, in so many words, a story written for myself, with other queer people in mind, is not for them seems like such a stupid thing to say. like, i didnt write it for you. i wrote it for me. i wrote it for the lesbians who love so violently that they have to hide it away under their clothes, in between their teeth. i wrote it for the lesbians who have been told their love is disgusting, or wrong, or sexy and for a male's pleasure only. i wrote it for the lesbians who are told their love is okay as long as they never show it- as long as they only hold hands at most but never kiss in public. i wrote it for the lesbian who sits in pews and breathes over their hands and wonders if God loves them still.

i'm not sorry to not have written a story catered for you when the whole world is for you. leave me out of your self-absorbed, hateful little orbit.

please know, this blog does not tolerate hatred, bigotry, or harassment in any shape or form. and if you're going to fuck around with me, you sure as hell are going to find out with me.

on a more positive note!

i want to thank you all who have been overwhelmingly positive and supportive of my endeavors!! it means the absolute world to me!! i sometimes hold myself at night and think of all the kind words y'all have sent over these past two years and just sob. never in my life before this could i have imagined sharing my work with people who give a shit and care. it warms me in ways i cannot begin to describe. i love you and i hope you are well as always. my inbox/dms are open ANYTIME if you just want to chat, catch up, rant to me, or tell me about your pet. actually, please tell me about your pet.

Some quick publishing updates:

I'm 20k words out of 90k into draft 2. and i think this is going to be the last draft before i query (?????) i'm really very happy with the muscles and bones of the manuscript. now it's just some meticulous line editing i have to work through.

after this, i'm off to the query trenches. (im scared) if anybody has gone through this process before and has any tips, i'd love to hear them!

here's a little excerpt:

"She grabs hard enough to make sure of her presence, not enough to bruise. Some sick part of the Traveler’s brain says, Yes. Please. More. Press deeper. Press harder. Bruise me. Hurt me. She delights in the heat that blossoms from where the Reverie digs her fingers into skin. Eyes earnest, stubborn disposition to her jaw as the thick muscle there flickers in an implication of anger. “I will find you,” she’s shaping her tongue into a dagger at the Traveler’s throat. “I will find you again, and that is a promise.” The Traveler gasps, tilting her head higher. She blinks and— The Reverie’s mouth is on hers, hot and aching, and the Traveler blinks— Want flavors the Traveler’s tongue, the Reverie’s hands pressed tightly against her collarbone, teeth at her jaw. She blinks and— Is this Before or After?"

i also, stupidly, have officially started a twitter that i want to start working with. i know twitter is dead, but it remains to be very useful for publishing. if you'd like to follow me, im there on @ morganhollow25. i dont know how to use it. im scared to use it. but if you have a twitter maybe follow me there too! i absolutely plan to be on tumblr primarily. i love it here and have grown a tiny home in these webs.

i'll have more updates coming soon regarding FTMTB and other works. thank you all again <3

[peridyke]

Is evangelion good or at least worth a watch? I know nothing about it except that a lot of people like it but also I don't like unnecesary sexual scenes and I dont know how weird it gets?

ive only just started watching it and I think I'm maybe only 8 or 9 episodes in BUT I would recommend it if only for the historical value. I've been encouraged to watch it by like most people I know and I've enjoyed watching it so far (although that being said I've failed to watch it all the way through like twice before LOL)

I think the weird stuff with asuka and rei is the elephant in the room when it comes to eva and makes a lot of episodes uncomfortable to watch when they really don't need to be. I'm usually fine with sexual content in fiction but fanservice of middle school girls just inherently makes my skin crawl. that being said I'm used to anime bs so it isn't anything that shocks me and I think its worth watching through for the story even though you have to sit through some very very weird scenes.

my opinion on eva will evolve as I watch it so I will keep people posted on how I feel LOL but it is like absolutely a classic that revolutionized the industry in a billion different ways so I feel like for that alone its worth looking into

[thecherrygod]

okay im gonna write the other dream i had last night bc i like keeping them all in one place and i usually post all of them here so this ones under the cut, its kinda long

i was in a school, with people i knew from elementary school but it was implied to be highschool. sometiemes i was just exploring it a bit and finding classmates i havent seen and being like 'oh hey hi its been a while'. all of them looked like they did last time i saw them which makes sense, but my brain aged one of them up, it was this one boy from class that we were sorta friends but not really, we just were two dumbasses with the same sense of humor when we were starting to hit puberty. he was standing in front of me and he sorta rested his head on my shoulder at some point. didnt see him again after that.

apparently the school was like 'you need to do a thesis to fully graduate. also everyone around you is 18 or younger. youre still 24, you absolute useless idiot' which like. low blow. i know exactly where that comes from, unnecesary, rude. the thesis tho was more like. you had to read a paper on genocide, and the most important part was apparently on line 257. i dont know what it said, i dont know anything about it. also i think it was just like a presentation and i had to explain something about it to some teacher, but it was still called a thesis. at some point the mom of the first guy i ever liked in my life walks in there. she sits down. and she begins crying, and saying how her son is useless and a fucking mess and she doesnt know what to do about it.

next thing i know, im outside the school. actually unsure if i even did the thesis thing or not, but im out. the streets are foggy, its drizzling, i can barely notice besides the school theres a futbol court, but its barely noticeable as one.

so, i walk up the street in the rain. i do a bit of a dance bc im out of there, even if everything looks awful im just out. but i start doubting. 'did i really do that or not? i cant remember i should check it out...' so i start walking back to the school. the fog is leaving, the rain stays, i can see people from their houses, the court, and the school looking at me from windows and such, but its fine, i just keep walking even tho im sure they saw my silly dance, even through the fog.

i reach the school. i look through the window. something in me is like 'oh. yeah. you did do it. its fine. yeah. yeah. its fine its done youre done with it.' im still not sure but i begin walking my way up again. and then i woke up.

[carly404error]

Personal opinion on Stranger Things seasons bc yeah

K so, before anything, I want to make clear that this is just my PERSONAL opinion on the series, you can think differently but it won't change my opinion. Also, this may contain some spoilers of the series, so, if you haven't watched it or you're interested in watching it or you haven't finished it, DONT READ THE FOLLOWING. (also english is not my main language so sorry for errors) o(-(

If you're still here, well enjoy my rant lol

K so let's start with the classic ol' FIRST SEASON. So, as we all know, it's kinda the introduction to this whole world: to Hawkings; the boys that are Mike, Lucas, Will and Dustin; then Nancy, Mike's sister, Steve, Barb... ; and many other characters like Hopper and the parents of the boys. It's a good season, it keeps it simple but at the same time makes a good plot, idk if thats understandable but you know what I mean (I hope). Also, one thing that surprises me is how everyone got attached to Barb so quickly and easily. Like, her dying didn't mean so much to me, since she didn't appear for long on that season. Yes, she IS a good character and all, but I didn't have time to grow attached to her, not like in other seasons, where you can grow attached to the character they present new and then dies because it was alive for more time.

I'll be honest. In my opinion, the second season was my least favourite. I'm not saying it's all bad, but, in comparison, it's my least favourite one. Look, I'm just saying that the 8th chapter (I think it was) it's just too much, I remember watching it just one time 'cuz I couldn't stand so much Eleven content. It was just too much for me. As I said, it's not bad, but bc of that, it's the one I least like. But, appart from that, o7 to bob.

NOW, season THREE. That was, to be honest, the BEST season of all in my opinion. Just the ambient like the court mall, the fun fair, just the classic American capitalism and 4th of July, I just LOVED that. Also I started learning russian 'cuz I found it funny and MAN WHY DID ALEXEI HAVE TO DIE LIKE HE WAS SO SWEET AND AAAAAAAAAHHHH. Anyways Billy also died L /j I don't have more to say, it's just amazing. Oh, and Susie and Dustin singins was really sweet :]

WOW, forth season, that was hard, the season of "CHRISSY WAKE UUUPPP!!! I DON'T LIKE THIIIIIS". A lot of gore, I kinda got disgusted by how the characters that were affected by One/Vecna/(the other name (I already forgot LMAO)), so I stayed half of the time with my eyes closed LMAOO. It's interesting how they got the plot OUT of Hawkings, thats a good point I have to make, 'cuz now it's not all just stuck in that little town, even tho in season three they already introduced the URSS as other location where the plot takes place (but it's more obious on season 4 of course) It was a good season tho, yesyes, but I don't like the bullied Eleven/Jane, not 'cuz I feel pity of her just more of like L + ratio (just kidding, I also went through that and it's no fun, I just think that entire thing it's a bit unnecesary in my view) o7 for Eddie, such a good guy.

I'm sure I'm missing a lot of things, this is just a general view of the series, but yeah, thats kinda my opinion of each season generally. So yeah, if you really made it out through my entire rant, congratulations, you are amazing and really cool and you certanly are crazy as me /pos

[papirouge]

Hi, I'm the skin care anon :)

Dont worry about the syndet - actually, a lot of showers gels are syndet, they just don't advertise it for some reason (I guess because most people don't know about them??). A lot of syndets that are clearly advertised as such tend to be overpriced anyways. You should simply avoid ingredients like sodium stearate, potassium stearate, sodium oleate and sodium palmitate as these are all types of soaps.

Most common syndets are sodium lauryl sulfate and sodium laureth sulfate, but the latter is better.

But yeah, they can be more expensive than soaps. Out of all the comercial brands of soap, the one with the ph closer to our skin is Dove, so there's that. It's better if it's odorless, but I understand following every rule about skin care sometimes is difficult or you just don't want to lol. I used to use this shea butter and vanilla Dove that left my skin smelling so good. Like people literally complimented me when they got closer to me. And I do like when both my hair and skin smell good, even if it's not recommended to use scented products (in fact, while I do not use scented shower gels, I still use a shampoo that does leave my hair with a nice smell...).

And yes, I agree with you about douches! I hate that they'rs advertised to us, even though we don't need it! Most women should know about actual good advice about vaginal health that may be causing problems: you should always wear cotton underwear, ideally white or at the most beige, avoid wearing tight pants or leggins, like I said not suck your fingers inside your vagina when your showering and definitely do not shave! You can trim it all you want though.

And I don't know about foot masks, sorry about it :/ I haven't reasearched anything foot related because I like my feet and have like, zero problems with them. In general though, I always think that with little changes like these is enough, and I try to avoid anything that's exclusively marketed to women because it usually its unnecesary and a scam (just research about aging creams, they literally don't work)

I will never buy Dove again after their racist commercial but I will definitely check on my new shower gel ingredients!📝 Thanks for the tips babe💗

I've been a bit dramatic about my feet: put lotion on them yesterday and they were okay 😭 lmao Honestly, if I had to invest in any body care, it would be my feet bc my body skin is okay.

For hair care, I'm absolutely HOOKED on the argan oil conditioner+leave in set from Keihl's

I'm usually wary of buying White owned hair products bc they don't "get" afro hair but this one really shook me by how good it moisturized my hair. Also the smell is soooo good...!!! 💛💛

You're right: small changes make a BIG different so I might as well start putting lotion more often on my feet and stop whining when I'm actually responsible of this 😭

[jesuscrab]

Saints Row Reboot thoughts, again.

When the annoucment happend, i said that it's way too early to say if i like it or hate it. From a cg trailer and a minute of gameplay it's really hard to have an opinion, y'know?

But now we saw a little bit more of the game, and i wanted to spout my opinions in the void for other fans to enjoy.

Go under the cut if you wanna see. It's a bit of a long one.

First things first: THANK GOD, shooting is still arcade-y and dynamic. I was so scared that they gonna pull a gta and do me dirty.

I feel like i really enjoyed that gameplay footage. Shooting looks fun, driving looks fun, it's very colorful and stylized. It's a bit too cartoony, maybe, but i dont mind it that much. They didint show much of the activities, but they seem okay. Insurance fraud is back, we now have heist - witch i hope will be more interactive and fun then GTAV's heist, becuse they sucked major ass. I hope they will have some new activities, i hope we get to see return of some oldies - as the only genki fan in exsitance, i hope we get to see some sort of spiritual succesor to that. One that preferablly is not kinda racist.

I do like the aspect of building your crimnal empire from scratch. It seems that the player has at least some influance over how the gang progresses, how they take over the city, how the gang grows. I like stuff like that, it seems fun.

I saw a lot of pepole complaining about the health bars... i dont mind it, and also you can turn it off. It's weird that they appear on ALL CARS THAT YOU SEE, but i think it's just an early build bug, i dont think it's supposed to be like that.

Wingsuit tease at the and feels out of place, but i'll take it.

Now, for the concerns:

I am still salty about the lack of purple. Sure, the characters are purple, we have the classic logo, yada yada. But it still feels a bit eh. The game is so colurful already, why not more color?

Speaking about color, the map seems like straight from 2010, becuse it's dark brown and dust. I do love the western setting, it's unique and new, but when they show our characters riding outside of town it looks like some sort of post-apocalipse game. Again, hope it's not a GTAV situation, when half the map is just boring padding with uninteresting and unnecesary wilderness.

I am still scared of the story. SR3 had such a terrible plot that to me, ruined a lot of the experience with the game. They can't really show the plot off in trailers, i get that. The things they said seem... weird? Everyone memes about the whole student loan thing, and i dont mind it honestly, but like... whats the rest? Is it really just "hey we are in debt, lets make a criminal empire and take over the city?" there has to be more stepts then that. I Want to see the plot focus on the whole aspect of growing as an empire, to see our naive protagonist grow more attuned to the gangster lifestyle. Would be so cool! So unique! But yeah, i just want this game to have a good story, becuse that can really break a game imo.

It feels weird that they havent shown off the character creator. They said in an interview that it's gonna be bigger and better then ever, so i want to be excited, but my deep cynism feels like something is off, so im holding out still. I hope the editor allows us to make fat characters that dont look like cartoon blobs. This is litterally only thing i want, lmao. I dount they would re-implement the SR2's system of cloth layers, but it would be cool if they did. Again, probablly won't happen.

I want to see more in deapth exploration of the activites too. I get that they are saving it as a suprise, but i want to see whats new! I cant get exicted for the game when you dont really say anything, volition.

Closing thoughts: while i am still a bit sceptial about the reboot, i have to admit that i am alot more interested now. It does, in fact, looks like a saints row game, and i love those games.

I am not hyped, but i look foroward to future updates with... hope? Is that too pretentious to say?

I dont really care.

Did you read this the whole way trought? If yeah, consider telling me your own opinions, i am very happy to hear them always.

[keruworld]

KR 01 ep 31: Shouldnt Aruto priority be that all humangears reach singurality?I Instead of pushing them asking: what do you want to do? Ok i will not question Aruto’s logic. 01 continues to keep all their cast away, i should be used to it by now. -___- May be a miracle happens and this will improve in next eps. So for not annoy anyone with my CRITIC to this show:

Just when i thought that finally Aruto’s going to design a humangear... i forgot he knows nothing about how to create humangears... i guess.

Shouldnt be obvious that he can’t think for himself since he havent reached singularity?

Thanks to the script power. X,D Really the script dont let Aruto do much.

In fact he is named after a drawing tool. X,D If i were Jin i could have pointed that out.

Apart for this fight being totally unnecesary, It could have been cool to watch them fight without transform. Fumiya havent done any stunts right? please correct me is im wrong. Even in Sentai the actors must do kicks and punchs some times.

Well yeah... Jin have the reason here.

If the manga world in japan was not competitive enough... here goes A.I to create manga. XD

You know, Jin still is a baby and he dont having a plan is proof enough. XD

Worried Horobi: comeon son, return to home! X//D

If you think carefully... Horobi is right. Humangears will be subdued to humans no matter if they reach singularity. Till there are laws that recognize them as another... live species. Wish the show explain how they are made... like Drive did with Roidmudes, i mean it was not big deal, but explained how and why Roidmudes have emotions and sentiments.

I could have loved that Jin question Horobi here... alittle more interesting dialogue please.

This is the “Im not a tool arc”

I guess i already said it... but i will say it again... if they dont give Yua a background, an explanation WHY she let GAI insert the chip in her... i will cry in deception.

So Fuwa lives in the Hiden parking lot? Nice. XD

If only humangears could have been an hybrid or something. As i said in the beggining, is not dangerous to japanese society for their kids be more empatic to ROBOTS than humans it self? Tell me where is the human element in Zero One?

Could have been great that these guys response were: WE FOLLOW HIM BECAUSE THE PAY IS GOOD. There are alot society factors that 01 is missing, sadly.

Seriously the only thing that stop me to ship these two is the cold treatment, i dont see friendship no matter how much the show want me to ship these two. Could have been great if Fuwa said that while lending her a hand, no matter if his words are rash, Fuwa actions must looks like he is a friend and that he want to help her. I dont see a friend here.

You know this is why i dont fully like Gai as villain, he needs more... deep? or personality? I really dont know how to call it... but if he is a capitalist... push him like that in the dialogue. Like a clash with the dialogue like: Yes i have the right to interfere since is easy to buy people! or something like that. Gai little by little is becoming more a cartoon villain than anything else. Sadly.

Please writer, please im begging you, think more the dialogue. X,D I mean just read the Jin dialogue, it says... nothing. Well yeah, seems like Jin now will join to Aruto ... may be... but why?! X,D Really, WHY?! About the power that Humangears need to achieve Singularity? What power? The dreams? Why Jin didnt mention it?!

Where is the evil laugh?! X,D

Wonder, how and by who?!

Ansat....... no... he is not Ansatsu chan! U__U

Love Ansatsu actor... but... it was sad his return... -__- but... i guess... it was ..ok.

[grelrik-da-bozz]

Something to Argue about...

These are a bunch of thoughts related to the overreaction that followed the announcement of the “curse of the blood moon” episode.

Honestly, I don’t know what group of the fandom you belong to, which ship you like or if you just like/follow the serie for it’s plot, but certainly you must have seen the big conmotion that said announcement caused in the starco fans, to the point where some of them even assured that they had “predicted it/analyzed it/dreamed about it” and once we get on the subject it’s something quite ridiculous to come with it as something one discovered by himself, considering that since 2015 it is known by Daron’s own voice that it was a CURSE (she used that particular name for it when she talked about the episode). In that moment she explained that the curse didn’t produce any kind of love between the affected ones (in this case Marco and star) it only linked their souls for eternity... Daron made this clear as an answer to the insistent questions, and she made it clear that to believe it would produce love was a misunderstanding that Tom had about the curse since he was the one assuming that it would make star love him again.

So, what does this post come for? Well, I’ve been thinking about the fact that the serie is being overly rated and over stimated, causing too much on the smallest things that we have seen already in the past, I have decided myself no to watch some episodes as I lost interest on it due to the main character, my brother has managed to keep me on track of the really important things and he has properly let me know about details that he has noticed, these has convinced me to develop some ideas that I imagine will NOT happen in the show, this I assure it as Daron (being the spinless woman she is and who prefers to be praised instead of doing the show as she meant/imagined to do it) probably didn’t even think as options, this based on the fact that in one of her most recent interviews (around 2 or 3 weeks ago) related to the fourth season’s premier she let us know that she “didn’t have as much control as she wanted on the show, but now she does have it”. For anyone that doesn’t know... Daron tried to start the SVTFOE show in 3 other cartoon channels before reaching Disney, it was rejected on all 3 of them and because of that she was surely more susceptible to accept any change as long as the show was produced, which in time forced on a certain degree Marco and star’s relationship as Marco was gonna be star’s ENEMY, not her friend and probably with the curse of the blood moon they would finally turn into friends.

Before we start, take in consideration the following: the wand and the book ar the most powerful elements on this particular universe of SVTFOE (with them you can access time and space and affect them, create beings and things with your mind as part of spells) and being something so important star uses it as if it was a toy, shooting whatever, whenever and wherever she wants, she ruins it, makes it almost run low in batteries, loses it, breaks it, give it up as if it was nothing important twice! As a second thing to take in consideration we should remember that so far only Marco has seen the blood moon, many thought in it’s time that it was due to Marco kissing Jackie (his TRUE LOVE), under the assumption that “Marco couldn’t be infidelt to star” which... is not possible since we later see that no bloodmoon showed up to star when she was with Tom, either they were loving each other or even kissing on the night, there was no moon to appear at any time! Then we must understand that the moon is reacting to something else and I was announcing that for a while now. Black Magic, that’s it, star was using dangerous magic that could corrupt the soul and we know that in the moment she used the spell to spy on Marco she had her sould linked with someone else, right? With that in mind let’s go to the scenarios.

1.- This idea es the closest one to a “Disney moment” : star for some reason or another won’t be under the curse anylonger, this due to her bathing on the same magical waters her mother, Queen Moon, was bathing on and we saw that it removed her curse from her hands (either that or perhaps when she was ‘reborn’ from the wand during her fight with Toffee had the same effect), leaving Marco aas the only one affected and probably in some serious danger as his soul to have an excuse to make the Mary Sue grow even more, knowing this the main characters will search for some help from Eclipsa, probably from that episode on they will focus on saving Marco’s soul, even worse, this curse might not be cleaned by Eclipsa as the book says and perhaps the one who removed it was Globgor, making him the only one capable of saving Marco. After saving him he will be about to die or some shit and he will be saved by a kiss or stuff like that (Disney moment) and then love can do anything, blah, blah haha, boring.

2.- The curse still affects both of them, being a problem because it affects the wand, making it harder for Eclipsa to make it work for some reasons (honestly, do the show ever gives any reason for the wand to work at all), trobuled by this they will try to find out the reason, finding out that the moment Marco and star danced their souls were linked and Marco got partial control over the wand, this could for X or Y reason destroy everything as the magic in the wand is in some kind of trouble (plot reasons) making the whole planet run risks and some other sheningans, they will have to find a way to remove the curse making Marco and star separate themselves to avoid any future damage, then another disney moment will ocurr as they will meet again after a long time (10 years?) Giving us an open ending with them ‘loving each other’.

3.- Quite similar to the other ones, the difference being that the spell that will cleanse them from the curse will work as a “back in time” spell, making them both forget everything related to the dance and any kind of relationship between after that dance starting from the moment the light touch them, meaning this that Marco won’t have any feeling towards star (he never had any to begin with, hell he didn’t even considered her a girl) and viceversa as it work on star as well, being nothing friends again, each one will return to their lives, free from the curse and any unnecesary magic will surely remember his feeling for his TRUE LOVE (Jackie) and they all will have some fun together, perhaps a day as a vacation or something similar, then star will return to her world.

[kaitenkenburokuren]

U KNO WHAT SHOULD HAVE BEEN OTOMOVERSE WISE

ive said that i think the oniwaban is Unnecesary  story-telling wise for the other 2 movies, because they dont do anything important n just make the story less streamlined for the big screen (even if as an oniwaban fan i appreciate all the performances n their presence. live action okina cured my illnesses n made my crops bountiful tbh n iseya y. in hair clips as aoshi has given me so much to live for)

but 

honeslty they should have just gone the nine yards n give aos entire storyline to the unholy amalgamation of ao/han/gein

like the novelization already implies Amalgamation is oniwaban so why not. make that clear in the movie. give aos relationships to the Amalgamation.  shit give him the ao flashback in the second one! that would have made for a slightly more streamlined movie (not as much as one missing them ninjas entirely but ok) and even a more cohesive trilogy maybe?

literally the only reason not to do this is appeasing fans. or like maybe respectign the source material but if uve already made a divergence for the sake of storytelling why not stick to it n have a sleeker end result all the way?

[thismoonrisekingdom]

UNNECESARY RANT ( CATFISH)

If I had a penny for every time someone on catfish said " I never lied to them about anything... Except my identity" SERIOSULY?!?! THAT IS WHAT CAT FISHING IS!!! It starts with them being attracted your face! Nothing would even happen if they didn't like what they saw!!! When they come to see you the only thing they're banking on is your looks. They're thinking " I can't wait to SEE him/her" Humans are extremely visual creatures weather make or female. It's our best sense!!!! Unless your blind, everything you do depends on your eyes. AND THEYRE NOT EVEN UGLY! the actual person who they meet is never ugly. The insecurity has got to stop. They fell in love with who you are, you get that right? Yes, people judge books by their cover but it's so ridiculous to put up a fake photo. If they don't like you you've got to move on. ( I also understand I'm directing this at mostly teenagers and they literally live in the "that's not fair" moment for an entire seven years of their lives) You have to understand that not everyone is going to find you attractive and it hurts and they're going to breeze over you because they're trying to get it in. They're all stuck in societal standards of beauty which sadly means extremely symmetrical faces, flawless skin and fit bodies . Oh, and the two most important thing they can't get through their heads:

IF THEY SAY THEY DONT HAVE A PHONE OR COMPUTER TO TALK TO YOU ON CAMERA THE BITCH IS A LIAR! THEY CAN FIND SOMEONE WHO DOES! KICK THEM TO THE CURB!

YOU ARE NOT DATING THE PERSON ONLINE THAT YOUVE NEVER SEEN BEFORE! YOU ARE BOT DATING THE PERSON YOUVE ONLY BEEN TEXTING WITH FOR TWO MONTHS! YOU ARE NOT DATING THE PERSON YOUVE HAD PHONE SEX WITH A FEW TIMES! YOU ARE NOT DATING!!!

[kimblondhyung]

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Block B / Toy / Budapest

BLOCKBUSTER IN EUROPE // BUDAPEST // 03.07.2017

I know that literally no one cares but I got a little to say about this and I mostly want to keep this as a reminder for myself.

First things first, its day 2 after the concert and I’m still feeling the post concert depression. I still havent completely accepted the fact that I’ve actualy seen them with my own very eyes. Its something I will probably never really accept.

The Organization:

I had to buy a type C ticket because I was a cheap idiot and I recommend yall that if you have the chance, DO NOT buy these tickets. Other than the fact that they let you in as last, you also get divided by a fence from the A-B ticket holders, and in Budapest, the hole between C and A-B was unnecesary huge. There was basicaly an area where literaly no one stood. The whole organization in Budapest was just to cry about. I dont know if they do things this way with every concert since im not from Hungary, but it was deffinitely an organization fail with Block B. Even thoug we arrived 7 hours before the concert, we still ended up in the veeery back of the concert hall. The website stated that the way C ticket holders will be let in would be a “first come first serve” but that was way far from the truth. Other then the fact that nearly EVERYTHING was beeing said in hungarian, there was nothing that would help you as to what we should do. They gave a number to every person, and since we didnt know about that, we found out when it was too late and we got a high number. Without us knowing, for some reason, they then let people in according to the numbers they had on their hand. This made absolutely no sense. It took around half an hour of shouting for them to get people in line accoring to their numbers and i found that absolutely unnecesary and in a way unfair. When we arrived to the hall, the hall its self was poorly organized, fencec build from each side of the crowd with black plastic on it so if you wanted to look from the side, you had no chance. We looked for a good spot for forever, but we ended up in the back anyway. At this point, we were just tired, angry and sad. However, when the lights went off and the music played, these feeling all went away.

The concert its self:

The moment Block B stepped on the stage, I think a tear run down my cheek. Although I could barely see at the stage, I menaged to get a glimpse here and there, When the fact that Im actualy seeing them hit me, I just screamed happily with the whole crowd. The energy they were giving out on the stage made up for all the trouble and nerves we went thorugh before the conert. Although P.O was missing because of his health problems, they still menaged to put on the best show. They communicated with the crowd a lot, they all tried and menaged to speak english, Zico obviously taking the biggest part in speaking. They sang everything live, they hit all the high notes and up until today my ears are blessed. I heard all my favorite songs live, Ive had the luck to see their energy and I realized even more now how much they care about us and I think the crowd paid them their hard work back. When the instrumental for toy played while they were backstage, the whole crowd sang, even thought it might have been a broken korean, but they still sang, loudly, and at that moment I felt so emotional and happy that Im sharing this moment with hundreds of others that loved Block B as much as I do.

Probably my favorite moment

At one point, Kyung sang the beggining part of “Walking in the rain” and then directed the microphone at the crowd for them to sing, and although some of them did sing, he later realized that having the crowd sing korean lyrics probably wasnt a good idea and that half of us couldnt even sing it so he quickly ended it with an “ok thank you thank you”. Others then continued and tried to sing other songs, seeing if the crowd will catch on and in the end, Zico saved it with the whole crowd shouting “Eureka”  

To give this whole “rant” an ending, although I didnt properly see anything, althought I didnt see them up close, although I didnt get to do an hight touch, they still menaged to make me feel happy just because they tried so hard and they powerfull performances could be felt miles around them.

Thank you, Block B, for making me happy.

And yall, stan them, they deserve it.

[soldierwalkerguardian]

You know where is the start of anything good? of everything good? little prince? asked Marcia. 

Where?

From you, it comes all from you, all you need to know, is that it comes all from you, everything that is beautyful, worth listening to it is the sing of the most beautyful bird, and it all starts in you.

Should I run?

If you need to, just run as fast as you can. And you will never have to be outhere looking for noone, they will come to you.

You promise?

I promise. 

If you break your promise I will cry, I will cry bad, I will cry mean, I will cry with anger, if you break this one promess. 

And what is so bad of being left alone? What is it so sad about that. You have me. You have your meiga, Marcia. 

You are never here, probably never have. 

I was in that same land a long time ago, a thousand days ago, years, centuries, couldn’t know. But as you, I suffered, I was also left alone you know. I had to find also my path alone. In the cold, surrounded by goblins. 

By goblins? you are kidding me. 

It was in the city of my people, it was left empty, the goblins were coming as an endless colony of ants, that were to devour everything. 

What did you do?

I lingered here and there, i was scared, i cried, i tried to frugaly pass in between the shadows. 

What did they looked like. 

They had big teeth, a persons head could fit inside their mouths. They were small thou, but they had bid feet, and claws, and they could jump and feriouscly like dogs. 

Dogs, they are very tender creatures, that never existed in that world. 

How do you know them?

We never placed them in that world, because we didnt want any unnecesary pain bringed upon them. There are so many animals they never wished to put into the land. 

Who are they.

The unborn gods. But that doesnt matter, what matter is that you can do it. Nod with me. You can do this. Even alone. 

OK.

Did you understand me?

Yes. He nodded once. 

Nod with me. 

The prince nodded short and full of fire. 

You are fire my beautyful prince. Thats all what you are. You are fire that cannot be extinguished. 

Thanks Marcia. 

Never stop. 

I wont. 

Never stop. 

I will never stop. 

Thank you. No matter how much you loose, what you loose, whatever happens. You cannot be stopped. You fight till the end, you fight till the very last breath in your lungs, you fight till the light is absorbed within your own eyes, until you see that the lights are gone. 

And then. 

And then the light in our eyes, i will pour it in a recipient, a coup or a vessel, and put it nto the stars so they shine over me. When Marcia said that the prince smirked. 

Did you remembered? asked Marcia. 

Yes I remembered. 

When you were a kid?

Yes. 

You remember the first time time this happened to you. Yes like if it was yesterday.

You couldnt get enough of this. 

I remember. 

THey were alive with you. 

They were with me, all that I needed. 

Is this the second time that his happens to you? 

Something like that. 

Dont worry. 

I got a bit lost. 

I know you got a bit lost. 

Is that a tragedy?

Yes, that is a tragedy getting lost into the shadows, it is indeed my dear. 

Im sorry. 

Well, dont worry, the second time is pouring with twice the feelings. I think you have a big chance kid. 

Really?

Just dont forget to be yourself. 

ok

Never give up on yourself.

ok

Try to be more yourself tomorrow? ok?

I will try, hard. 

Dont make any excuse.

I wont come with any excuse. 

ok

ok

[x-puerbulla-x]

Im drainned dude

hi 10:33 18/08/2019

i need to vent my minds a mess idk, i havvent stopped in months and it has been very draining so i guess idk i didnt wannaa sounds cocky saying all the things i did but for the sake of me wanting tto le it out i will and all of this to lead uo tot he present that was me being eith my dad today and how it was, how i feel about it i guess. So it all starts back in may, 3 months ago, where i was trying to survive with my grades i had to make sure everything was gonna go smoothly in my desenho exam and then i also was starting to feel pressure cause june was coming uo and tbh june is just streeeessssfull, theres first mels birthday on 1st June and one week before we took her to the tosquia too, then theres Beas burthday but also my sobrinho santiago was born, on the 5th an then beas birthday is on the 6th, then theres the aniversary off bea and i's first date in the 16th wheere we had previously planned wed recreate to celebrate and then theres bea and i's actual birthday on the 22nd and we went to pride but i was all very hard cause idk i guess we wanted our first birthday to be good (or at least i really dis which gave it some pressure), but it happened;; we celebrated at pride cause we were lucky enouh this year it was on he 22nd, the 2 days later its my moms birthday and i usually dont do anything but this time i decided i was gnna do something and i did, i recreated her gradma's torta, clean the whole house spotless and then i recreated a card i had made for her back in '06;;; on top of all of these ne is exam seasson and i had to hardcore study for gd everyday trying to reach a unreachable goal of 67 exercises, with so much gd i ended up forgetting a litte about portugues and had to study last minute, luckly i knew what i was doing cause m aware i know pessoa pretty well so my plan was just to study the rest but i dont think i gave it enough time sinse i had an 8, the to desenho i didnt study cause cockly, i dont need to, i had a 13,4 which i wasnt happy with but thats life i guess, it wasnt woth the money tryng to ask for a revisao, well, and at gd i had a 5, when i needed a 10 cause i was aluna externa this resulted that after this hell of a month i had to suffer another one cause i neeeded to learn everything i didnt lean in 1 and a half years id gd, in les than a month so i had to stuy like a crazzy person, this time i didnt have to do 67 exercices it was a lot less but still i couldnt do it and i did as much as i could and more i broke down 10000 billion time ad i thought i couldnt do it i didnt fee prepared and tbh i was terrafied cause if i faied this exam i didnt have my 12th grade done and it as a pain in the ass to think about but still after madess of stdying gd all day and until 5 am i did it only with a 11;;; but i didd  it then that hell of a month ended and we get to this present moth but before that had sams birthday coming up and i wanted to surprise him with a cake cause bea and i had offered him cookie cake not knowing he was vegan now and it was dissapointing when we were like ,,, so you cant have it? cause we didnt know we wasnt jus veegetarian anymore blah blah blah, i had to do preaparations for his birthday and it was stressful, i wanted it to be good, the the day after we celebrate sams birthday im still not able to sit and relax a little cause its 2nd august and bea and i are going to veiros, dont get me wrong i was the one deciding to go but god i was tiring, i had more fun than last time i was there but theere wasa lot more stress too cause renataa was trying to cionvince us to go to university the whole time and it was a pain tbh cause i didnt know what to do but i ha a slight ide that i did wanna go bt then the problem was that because of that they ere all using me as an eexample to convince bea and i felt pressure to be like yeah im absolutely for sure going;;; at the end of the say i didd decide i wanted to go but then i was more stressed cause the dates were ending an i didnt havee my passe for dges cause there was a problem with it and my fcha enes was stuck to cause apparently you had to do thing in the secretaria to pik it up so i emailed the help line of dges for the password and asked my mom to go to school to ick up my ficha and ii did manage to have the pass in time but then the lady lied about the time the secretaria was open apparently cause when lena and my mom went there it was closed and i gess that meant that steess was over but id didnt manage to do the cadidatura in the 1st fase,;;;; which later on i found out i couldnt even do in the first place cause people with exams in the 2nd fase cant do the candidatura in the 1st fase soyahhhh unnecesary stess and now i need to wait until 9th september to do my candidatura and pray im accepted indesenho or pintura cause i do not want escultura as a everyday thing or at least i dont think i do ~ so;;; were n veiros also therees tension in the air cause tia tania an vo rosa are mad at each other, we did a lit of things everyday ehch made it less boring but i was so tired already that doing so much stuff wasnt my favourite at times now we came back 4 days ago but i still havent stoped and im tiredddddd, i think i only stayed 1 day home and it was to clean, we arrived in the 12, i slept in beas house and stayed ther the 13th, then i was home on the 14th, then there was the attempt to go to school take care of the ficha and it as closed but then spent the day with david and sof and bee, then my brother invited me to go meet santiag and then i actually went to school again and go stuff done and then the day arrived and i spent the day with andre and the baby, a friend, lena and rafaela, and her mom too for a bit (she was nice). all pf this leading up for today and this week, today i met with my dad just outside my house, he had miriam and pff idk he was having a talk to me cause we walked shiro and he was just saying o ho mirriam remind him of me and how were very alike and idk what to think of that, he said or drawings are the same and that she has my feitio, asked me to go to his place some day and all and idk it was confusing, he made me remember memories i was repressing, good ones but idk if itss good for me to remember those things, he reminded me of when i used hus bike and surprised him cause i was sall and he used to be on a bike aand id always ask like you could let me use it and etc etc and he was like come on mariana podes la tua andar com a bicicleta do pai its too big and all that and i told hm i couldnt go on it alone cause it was to tall but if he put me up there i could ride it and he did probably just to shit me up and i rode it to the end of the street did a cirve and got back and he was choked and all of this cause he said he really wanted miriam to learn too. he compared me a lot to her and talked about ho he still has lots of my stuff;;;;;;; i complainted about my doctor octopus;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;; i guess it was to avoi talking about the situation with lena but he did meantion her at all ot as little as possible and it was weird cause that made it so that the way it was talking it was like i was his only daugther or that lena was never there which made me wonder about things idk i guess i never realised to what degreee i was ay closer to my dad than lena, its no surprisse we always knew lena got the looks of his side of the family but i got the personalty thats why me and andre get along so well (also andres sun is my moon cough) im pretty sure me seeing my dad makes my mom sad too, understandably so i dont plan to do it often, not everyone can be happy in this story and its definitely not my mom going to be the one thats not happy, i own her everything i ever had and tbh i only acceot the times i do see my dad out of ity and guilt and cause admiditely i do miss and crave having a dad idk i guess i never had one for real but id like to, but it doesnt sound very realitic so im not too expectant i dont believe i is ever going to happen i hope days fro here forward are a little more chill although i doubt that, at least for a week or so, maybe a few days if im lucky but today im meeting bea and sleeping there se if thats a bit relaxing, then tomorrow im supposed to go soewhwere with david and sof and then the day after with david, sof and sam so yah know, a bit busy i wanted to pint and to draw do thins in my sketchbook cause there hasnt been much time ffor that or cabeça i guess and knoowing myself i feel like that might work on making me a little better before the mess starts again cause of the candidaturas in like 2 weeks

anyway

12:46 18/08/2019 bye

[daiiki]

People may think its normal to stole the milk produced by the cows for their babies and then kill them, and when the cow cant produce more milk due to infections or cause she just cant anymore cause they force them to do it again and again raping them just to get their milk and kill the calves for their own unnecesary benefit, we dont need meat or milk or kill any other living being we can live without harming other species, we dont deserve to live more than other species just cause of taste, because that is the only reason people dont give up on meat even if theres a lot of tasty things we can make and eat instead,and its proven that we dont need that, every vegan in this planet survived without meat or milk any other animal so you can do something for them at least if you really care about animals, and i mean all the animals, cause having dog or a cat and feed them and then you go and buy in the supermarket to people that kill the other animals, that so hipocritic, thats not even close to that, thats just specism, so you can do something for them, you can choose to not be part of these industries that said to people that eating meat is right, cause is not right, they just said it you you cause is profitable for them and they dont even care about anything not even about humans cause eating meat cause a lot of diseases, even increase the rate of cancer and lot of not good things, but the point is about help these defensless animals that cant do nothing to defend themselves so we need to speak for them, go vegan.