#but i have brain worms and im making it everyone else’s problem

[sorikufeels]

kiss me once and all that

(might clean this up later who knows)

[bylertruther]

when will said it was "strange knowing who it was this whole time" and "he's hurt, he's hurting, but he's still alive" was he not talking about henry? am i insane? did i misinterpret that scene? why are we acting like will is connected to anyone other than henry bro what is Happening 😭

that was henry that shaped the mind flayer into that spider-like form and it was henry that used it to possess will and it was henry's thoughts that will was experiencing against his will and it's henry that he's still feeling because the connection/"vecna's curse" hasn't been broken. they physically extracted the mind flayer from will's body, yes, but his connection to henry was never broken. henry can't exercise complete and total control over people without the mind flayer's power, which is why will has free will over his body but his mind remains connected to henry.

the characters, and by extension the viewers, thought it was the mind flayer behind everything, because they didn't know what season four revealed to us.

henry wanted to control will's mind and body—a complete and entire violation of everything will is. that was Not the mind flayer, and they tell us that more than once. with all love and respect what are some of you on about because you're starting to make me feel like my memory is genuinely broken or something lmao like i thought.... the big reveal was that it's always been henry? they literally say that? eleven, henry, and will all confirm it? the mind flayer was not a separate entity acting alone... thus will has beef with henry most of all because henry's violation of his mind and body is still ongoing... Where Are You Guys Getting Your Information From 😭 hELP

will's rape—because that's what possession is, he never consented to having his mind and body controlled by anyone else—is an important part of stranger things; both to the general plot and will's character. to say that will only has beef with the mind flayer and not henry is reducing what henry did to him and reassigning blame that very much falls on henry's shoulders. henry was controlling the mind flayer and henry is the one still in will's mind. henry used the mind flayer to have control over will. henry and will are connected. the show literally tells us that over and over again. when you decide to needlessly reassign blame, not only are you misunderstanding and misconstruing the plot, but you're also... not understanding what happened to will at all. like, what really happened to him and how that's used in the show.

henry very likely was the one that kidnapped will. henry is the one that will has a psychic connection to. henry is the one that raped will / possessed him if you prefer that term instead and used the mind flayer to do it. henry is the one that will still knows like the back of his hand, because henry is the one that's still in his head. it's not the mind flayer. it's henry. please stop saying that will doesn't have more than enough reason to want to kill his ass. please!!!

[chrimsone]

hey i remembered to post a chapter here for once!

lets see what do i want to rant about today? How about first, funny titles. I picked Ember kind of on a whim. Based off this song because i just really love SiHanatsuka and i'll take any chance to referenced their music. So good. But like well after actually WRITING the chapter i was just kinda zoning out at work and noticed an unintended pattern. Static and Ember. The beginning sparks of their respective elements. I didn't even MEAN to make that kinda connotation but now that i have im all here for it!

There's also the fun Light emote-y stuff. so the thing is kinda like. Im giving Rin my aphantasia. Im a sucker for fantasy manga and isekai r always fun. often times in those stories they give their magic system a visual aspect. after all its pretty easy to just be like 'yeah just imagine the thing and youll be okay'. the problem is -- what about the folk who have issues creating images in their mind (me)? So this is really just a big middle finger to that system. im giving Light the same system, but pointing out how it's really not that 'easy' for everyone. i know its hard to come up with a proper system and usually the fantasy theme is more or less a vector for something else, but it just makes me ANGY how authors dont try to explore these overlooked options.

so its kinda like. a lil bit of a character break for Phoenix to reference a meme but like. I had to. it's a worm in my brain that would cause me psychic damage if i didn't indulge in it. Into the Void had a few of those because i just HAD to. I like doing it because idk, keeps things a lil bit on the more lighthearted side! i do wanna try balancing out humor n serious stuff with this story so i let these worms thrive yknow

oh yeah and the funny shooting scene was what held back this update even longer than it should've been lol. i had something else in mind but i just dont know enough about shooting guns to properly convey it in at least a semi-realistic state. i nearly scrapped the whole scene but from what i DID research, i wanted to include that so there's still a lil bit! lol it made me feel like a real author for a bit cause ik so much stuff gets cut in the final piece.

i think that'll be all of my funny musings for this chapter! im working on the next one slower than expected x-x my dumb ass pattern of writing only during work (hate my job wanna get paid to write lol) but it's been suuuuuuper hectic the last few weeks so i havent had time to write. I really gotta dedicate a specific time to writing

[lord-luck]

so i saw this post

(im making a separate post bcs i don't want to make op subject to rambles abt my ocs)

and it got me thinking

Felix wouldn't be morally opposed to the use of love potions. However my guy is aromantic and i do not think he would want to make anyone fall in love with him. if it was for con purposes i don't think he'd need a love potion. but if a situation arose where it was absolutely needed for con purposes (before his redemption arc) he Would give someone a love potion.

HOWEVER however, the 5th option..... it's giving me brain worms... specifically of the aro flavour of.... perceiving someone is in love with you and you like them and you feel vaguely bad for not loving them the way they love you......... what im saying is that there is a non zero possibility Felix would give Himself the love potion if the situationship got complicated enough. In canon they have their shit together remarkably well considering what is going on but if he did like 1% less introspection or had 3% less confidence he would.

Which brings me to the next part of this disaster: Edward. He would be morally opposed to using love potions. Or rather, he wouldn't in theory, going as far as to discuss using them for con purposes with Felix, but if he actually used a love potion for Serious purposes (read: on Erik) he would Regret it about 10 seconds later and would enter a constant loop of agonising over finally having what he wanted for so long but it's not actually real so did he really get it? In reality I don't think there's much chance of him actually using a love potion because he's not that kind of obsessed but it would be a funny (read: soo so devastating) angst setup.

However, he could try to use a love potion on Felix for manipulation purposes specifically which like, i would respect him, it would be a good plan. Might've actually prevented some of the problems that happen in the story. He would still hate himself after about two weeks when he discovers he actually likes Felix. rip edward he has been cursed to always regret. unrelated but he would absolutely slay in a time travel fix-it

He wouldn't knowingly drink a love potion ever under any circumstances he values his sense of self too much

Erik wouldn't use a love potion. They are banned in his kingdom. Why does he hang out with ppl who would use love potions. He would discuss using love potions as a thought experiment. He would turn the other way.

He might willingly drink a love potion someone else gives him. What would it be like? Why shouldn't he? All Some of this would be so much simpler...

Niki wouldn't use a love potion but I'm pretty sure she's the one smuggling them, or at least the ingredients, for Felix so like.... she's not opposed on principle but it's not something she ever considered needing nor wanting to use herself.

She wouldn't knowingly drink a love potion for similar reasons as Edward

Vanessa would use love potions if they had limited effects / were temporary. Maybe even something like a weak love potion perfume. Do you see my vision. People are always a little bit in love with her when they see her but later they can't remember why. They mostly conclude she's just That Beautiful. It's incredibly useful for information gathering. And getting places. Nobody tell Felix he'd try to steal the perfume (she makes it herself).

For the serious intended use however... I think she could. Just purely on her personality, in a situation where she really wanted someone and saw no other way.... she would use a love potion and she would feel a little bad about it for like a week before concluding that love doesn't make sense anyway so this is basically just helping the natural processes a bit. Anyone can fall in love with enough time spent together if they want, she simply sped things along a bit.

Most of this is mitigated by being childhood friends with Erik fortunately for everyone. I think Vanessa without Erik's influence might've been slightly worse than Felix just because of their background difference. Evil Vanessa au when?

She would drink a (temporary) love potion on purpose just so she would know how it feels

[shkspr]

ok take all of this w a grain of salt bc im typing w my eyes closed and my brain scrambled but as we all know i have a ton of opinions about doctor who and i will subject you to them or die trying

like the thing is. the doctor isnt special bc hes smart. hes not special bc hes clever or mysterious. he has advantages over ordinary humans bc he has alien knowledge and he has the time and space travel and regeneration and all that. but those advantages dont make him any better than them, fundamentally, and he knows that, and thats the core of his character. thats why the master, one of his greatest recurring antagonists and narrative foils, firmly believes that humans should be subjugated under time lords.

what makes the doctor special is how much he cares about people. what makes him special is that he uses his advantages to save people and to help people and to meet people bc he likes people. he loves people. thats the POINT. and ik this started as a rant about that one line from evangelista but it was always a rant about how that one line is indicative of everything thats wrong w moffat.

and i just think its funny that those two moffat eps (which are, on the whole, really good eps. but still Moffat Eps) are followed immediately by midnight, which is not only one of the best eps of the entire show, but specifically really really good at that human element that moffat just keeps missing. bc what gets to all those people, what worms its way into their brains, is just fear and ego and pride and letting their differences divide them.

like, professor hobbes is the perfect example of someone who thinks hes better than other people bc of how smart and learned he is. and the ep makes it very clear that this is asshole behavior on his part and not a good trait to have. and when the doctor does try to "pull rank" so to speak, he is doing it bc he genuinely has the best chance of actually solving the problem, and bc hes panicking a little bit himself. and they dont listen to him bc they think that hes acting superior, but hes not. hes not just arbitrarily deciding that hes in charge bc hes smarter than them, hes saying that he has the experience and the ability to figure out whats going on.

and the thing is, the humans on that bus dont have the experience, but they have deductive reasoning (actual regular ass deductive reasoning, not bbc sherlock deductive reasoning) and they are able to figure it out, given all the preceding events and everything the doctor said. after it gets to the doctor, after hes out of commission, dee dee and the hostess both see the truth and try to tell everyone else whats going on, and theyre only unable to convince them bc everyones too worked up and scared. also theyre both black women but i think im not gonna give the show enough credit to say they were making a Statement with that.

anyway silence in the library/forest of the dead is a fantastic story, really, i love those two eps, but there are flaws, and i think all of those flaws are moffat-typical flaws. its a decent group of people, but not a great one; the one-off characters are. how do i put this. theres some nuance, but theyre not necessarily complex. and their lives mean very little, and their deaths mean even less (which is a thing that moffat does).

to the doctor its a big deal, and to river its a big deal, but to the audience? maybe this is just me, but i didnt really feel anything for any of them except at the most emotional moments (evangelista as a data ghost, and anita asking the doctor for reassurance). i feel sympathy for them when theyre dying horribly, but thats it.

contrast that with midnight, which has a brilliant cast of characters where every person is a person. where the most devastating moment is when they realize that none of them know the name of the woman who sacrificed herself to save all of their lives. where i feel connected to several characters and their journeys and their personalities, not just bc theyre in mortal danger, but bc theyre good characters. where i can understand all of their strong emotions and how that leads to their morally questionable decisions.

basically, if i may be permitted an oversimplification, midnight is an episode that illustrates what would and should happen if people responded realistically in a situation where everyone is in danger and confused and scared. moffat had some of that with lux, some of that instinctual push back against the doctors assumed authority, but it was bc lux himself had personal demons, not bc thats just how a human being reacts in a situation like that. bc moffat has trouble conceptualizing characters who dont see the doctor as some mysterious magic guy with all the power and knowledge.

its like. you know that scene in the impossible planet, where the doctor is like "yeah but you trust me dont you? go on look me in the eye. yes you do, i can see it. trust." and zach agrees to let him go bc frankly zach doesnt have much of an ego and zach is a really good guy, and the doctor isnt trying to take control hes offering to help, and most importantly, zach is desperate and working with a skeleton crew where everyone who hasnt died already is in danger of doing so very soon.

so like, yeah, theres something to be said for the doctors ability to use clever words to manipulate people into letting him help. theres a lot to be said for the fact that he often cant get people to trust him unless he flat out lies to them, bc the truth is so fantastical. and when it comes down to the big moments, like that little speech he gives in voyage of the damned, people are either going to believe him and trust that he knows what hes doing or theyre not. and obviously i dont have any real statistics to back this up but i think moffat has a really hard time writing characters who dont believe the doctor and trust him. and when he does write those characters, he likes to humble them by showing off how brilliant and clever the doctor is, rather than admitting that trusting the doctor is realistically the harder option for most people.

[thefuckedupiftruearchives]

I have this wolf 359/tma bodyswap crossover on my brain, and there's no version of it where its not funny but i think season 1 Eiffel and season 1 Jon swapping would be rly fucking funny

Im just imagining like. So youre Eiffel. You wake up one day and youre some British guy with a desk job at some stuffy archive. Ok. Cool. Youre not in space anymore, that means you can smoke and eat ice cream. This guy is so boring he has no ice cream. He also owns no tshirts. Actually all he wears is sweater vests. You have to buy ice cream. You dont understand british money. You get a call from a guy named Elias wondering where the hell you are. You mash up the ice cream and drink it. You arrive late for work. Youre wearing a partially buttoned dress shirt and no sweater vest. Elias gives you a weird look. You smile nervously. 

In the halls you see dead worms on the floor. Everyone else ignores them. Youre at your desk in a basement. There is a tape recorder. Why is there a tape recorder. Ah wait, does this guy do a radio log too? Cool.

You look at a statement. Its absolutely fucking insane. Someone is describing their son being eaten by the sky. You read another. Someone is describing their neighbor being eaten and replaced by a guy with a different hair color. You read another one. Someone eloquently describes a box with a spider apple inside. You close the folders. What the fuck is this place.

Suddenly some guy walks in from a side room and hes in sweat pants. Apparently he lives in a room next to your office because worms tried to eat him. Or something. Its not clear. Appearently hes also your assistant. Is he also your boyfriend? He lives in your work bedroom. You have a work bedroom. What the fuck

His name is Martin. He brings you tea. He's nice. You smile. He smiles back. You ask him for coffee. He gives you a weird look. 

Now everyone is giving you weird looks after you interact with them. What the fuck is this Jon guys problem? You smile and that makes them give you even weirder looks. You listen to a tape to try and figure out who this guy was and he sounds like an absolute jackass. 

A worm chases you in the hall. you try to smoke one of Jon's cigarettes and its a menthol, bc of course it is.

The whole day has been weird. Youve had enough weirdness. You have no context for why everything is so weird but you know you have to get out of here bc everyone is insane. 

Then, in the middle of your day, you hear a sound on the other side of the wall. It sounds like pasta that moves. And then you get attacked by fucking worms. Just. Gobs of worms. Worms fucking everywhere. And then you see a woman made of worms

And everyone is talking abt her like they know who she is like they were expecting this and your not-boyfriend comes out weilding a fire extinguisher and thats abt where you lose your goddamned mind

[a-queer-seminarian]

So sorry if this is breaking news to anyone, but: the Bible is ableist. Its pages hold some really shitty stuff about disabled persons.

...AND it’s also affirming of the goodness and wholeness of disabled persons, just as we are!

it turns out that among the many authors of the many texts collected into the Bible, there were differing views around what we now call disability!

so whenever disability comes up in a given passage, i can’t keep my brain from immediately trying to sort it: is it a Good Text for disabled persons, or a Bad Text?

i try to resist that easy binary, because the answer is usually somewhere in between. that certainly seems to be the case for this week’s lectionary reading from Mark 9.

there’s so much wild stuff in Jesus’s little monologue in this lectionary passage, but let’s start with verses 43-47 (my rough translation incoming):

If your hand causes you to stumble, cut it all the way off; it is better for you to enter into The Life impaired than, while having two hands, to go away into the gehenna, into the unquenchable fire.

And if your foot causes you to stumble, cut it all the way off! It is better for you to enter into The Life limping than, while having two feet, be cast into the gehenna.

And if your eye should cause you to stumble, cast it out; it is better for you to enter into the Kingdom of God one-eyed than, while having two eyes, be cast into the gehenna, where their worm does not die, and the fire is not quenched. For everyone will be salted with fire.

oh lord, not the hell talk!! anything but hell talk!! this whole passage bristles with a million ways to misuse it. (homophobia cw: anyone else ever get told “if your sexuality causes you to sin, cut it off — this passage is proof gay people should be celibate!” just me?)

now, my focus is on what Jesus says here about disability, but as we talk about that, better ways of reading the text will come up. for instance, that last verse about how everyone will be salted with fire? to me, that suggests Jesus’ vision of this “gehenna” place does NOT = the standard Christian idea of hell. first off, it’s a place not of punishment, but purification — which is a word heavy with baggage these days...what if I say “reformation” instead? And if that’s the case, i imagine one’s stay there isn’t eternal — why bother reform people who are gonna be shut off in a fire-filled jail forever?

once those fires “purify” you, i imagine your stay is through and off you go into “The Life,” because you’ll finally be ready for it. so that’s one option for getting ready for The Life / The Kingdom of God — or, Jesus says, you can opt instead to get rid of the things that “cause you to stumble” in advance by......cutting off a limb or gouging out an eye??

now. i could be wrong but. if we start by taking this text as literally as possible, with physical stumbling and a physical limb-removal taking place......wouldn’t it be easier to avoid tripping if you’ve got two eyes to see obstacles with, two feet to step over potholes with?? even today when prosthetics are sometimes an option, there’s an adjustment period where you have to relearn walking.

so it seems that Jesus is making one of his trademark statements meant to subvert expectations -- the last will be first, the foolish are proven wise, and those with two feet are more likely to stumble. chances are, he’s not speaking literally. it’s not your literal foot or hand you should be chopping off -- it’s a metaphor for something else.

but before we consider what exactly it’s a metaphor for...where does this ironic little twist leave actually disabled persons? is it shitty of Jesus to be using disability in this way? is this like his “blind leading the blind” & “spiritually blind” comments elsewhere in the Gospels, where he stamps a disability with a moral judgement?

yeah, i do think it’s kinda crappy to use real disabilities for an object lesson, for hyperbolic effect, for shock value. “better to be impaired” (even tho, the subtext seems to be, It Sucks To Be Impaired) “than end up in Gehenna. Trade one terrible thing for a still bad but not as bad thing!” My impulse is thus to throw this passage right into the Bad Text box —except!

Except, i feel like this text holds some positive implications about how Jesus viewed disability, too. 

First off, there’s the implication that one can enter into “The Life” — abundant life, “the world to come,” God’s Kingdom — while disabled. (i wish that were just a given, but it’s not; it’s actually exciting to hear confirmed!)

In the Hebrew Bible (the “Old Testament,” the scriptures we share with our Jewish neighbors, the texts that Jesus would have read and known), the most common assumption about disability is unfortunately that disability = imperfection, and imperfection is something that should be kept out of contact with God.

Now, there are authors & stories within the Hebrew Bible that offer a counter-narrative to that assumption! Two quick examples: Exodus 4 establishes Moses as having a speech impediment, yet he has many close encounters with the Divine. Meanwhile, in Isaiah 56:1-8, God not only welcomes in eunuchs — whom Deuteronomy 23:1 forbade from entering God’s Assembly — but even gives them a place of honor there!

So Jesus’s perspective is not brand new; he simply continues the counter-narrative that other Jewish rabbis and prophets established before him. Still, it is significant that he takes the status-quo-subverting perspective that actually, disability and wholeness are not at odds!

While Jesus’s primary aim with this little passage is not about disability, his weird self-disabling metaphor does imply an attitude of welcome for disabled persons, in that he seems to take it for granted that disabled persons are not barred from The Life of wholeness and abundance he’s talking about.

It’s obvious to him that they don’t even need to be made not-disabled to get there! (Plus, there is no suggestion that once there, one regrows one’s lopped-off limbs or eye / becomes abled again.) This isn’t the only time Jesus expresses this idea of disabilities present in God’s Kingdom, either — my fave is the parable of the banquet in Luke 14 (i have a whooole video about that passage, if you’re interested).

Moreover, Jesus’s closing remarks about salt — which at first glance seem to be something of a non sequitur — can be linked to the Gehenna fire stuff when it comes to the theme of im/purity. Let’s look at that last verse of the lectionary reading, which follows right after Jesus’s claim that “everyone will be salted with fire”:

“Salt is good; but if salt becomes unsalty, with what will you season it? Hold salt in yourselves, and keep peace with one another.”

Another weird little riddle from our favorite riddle-master. unsalty salt? instructions to stay salty?

One way to read this is to focus on the purifying and preserving uses of salt — the way it can keep food from going bad, which was particularly important in a time before refrigerators. in the previous verses, Jesus told his disciples what to cut off — anything that impedes them on the way into abundant Life. Now, he tells them what to hold on to — the stuff that, like salt, clean out harmful things and preserve helpful things, thus enabling abundant Life.

So yeah. In naming something culturally considered an imperfection — disability — as something that can easily enter The Life, no problem, Jesus is making an argument for what is truly impure, what truly impedes wholeness. And it’s not disability! ...So what is it? What are these stumbling blocks that Jesus likens to feet, hands, and eyes?

To find out, we have to rewind to the start of the lectionary reading, a comment from the disciple John that actually kicks off Jesus’s whole spiel:

John informed him, “Teacher, we saw someone throwing out demons in your name, and we stopped him, because he wasn’t following our way.”

But Jesus said, “Do not ever prevent him! For there is no one who will do a powerful work in my name, and will be quickly able to speak evil of me. For whoever is not against us, is for us. Whoever might give you a cup of water to drink because you are in Christ’s name, amen I say to you, that one will not utterly lose his reward.”

The disciples have a certain way of seeing the world, and their actions against someone who is not one of them, but still using Jesus’s name to cast out demons, show us what that way is. They see the world in terms of us vs. them, in vs. out, one right way and many wrong ways. It’s this perspective that impedes them from supporting other people’s kin(g)dom-building work when it differs from their own.

But Jesus tells them they need to stop thinking this way, and start recognizing that there isn’t just one road to the Kin(g)dom, but many — and to quote Jesus’s words from other parts of scripture, you’ll know that someone’s work is good when it produces good fruit. This dude might be doing things differently from how they do it, but the fruits of his efforts are good — the casting out of demons, which frees people up for new life. So don’t stop him — support him! Be glad for his work!

To sum up the entire passage now that I’ve laid it all out and shown how the seemingly-disjointed parts of Jesus’s speech connect, I see his argument as something like this: “That dude you tried to stop is not against us; we can see that by the consequences of his actions, which are positive! His goals are the same as ours, so don’t hinder him just because his path is different from yours! Now, here’s an example of people/behaviors that ARE against us: people who cause little ones to stumble. And you know what you should do with such stumble-makers (or else the stumble-causing behaviors/attitudes)? Cut them off. Let go of anyone or anything that keeps you from abundant life, from the liberation God intends for all. Meanwhile, hold on to the things which purify you like salt — the things that liberate you to enter wholeness. Do it now of your own accord, or accept that it’ll happen later, and it won’t be very fun.”

To reiterate what all of that has to do with disability theology, I’ll share what my friend Laura said when I brought all these ideas to them. (Laura is the host of the Autistic Liberation Theology podcast, which i highly recommend for anyone who wants to hear more Bible stories told through a disability lens!)

Laura noted how common perspectives around dis/ability lead people wrong today, impeding our liberation. Our society teaches us that in order to function as whole persons, we need to be able-bodied (and neurotypical), and that the kinds of accommodations that disabled persons require limit their quality of life. When those ableist assumptions are the lens through which we view the world, that can “cause us to stumble” in the metaphorical sense — can impede us from loving ourselves and one another fully, and from fully participating in the diverse Kin(g)dom of God.

They offered two examples:

When a person with a mobility impairment that could be improved with a wheelchair avoids using that wheelchair because of internalized ableism, preferring the increased suffering that walking more than their body can healthily do over being “wheelchair bound,” that internalized ableism is a stumbling block keeping them from abundant life. Learning to let go of those beliefs, to use a wheelchair when they need to, will — contrary to that “wheelchair bound” language — bring liberation. 

Their next example imagined a parent who puts their autistic child through ABA therapy in order to get them to talk, make eye contact, and otherwise behave like a non-autistic person, due to the belief that autistic persons are missing elements of a full personhood, or that they can only live a happy life if they learn how to mask their autistic traits. However, in reality, ABA therapy brings the child pain and trauma — it impedes rather than enables their quality of life. Letting go of that need for your child to communicate through spoken language and otherwise behave like an allistic will make room for celebration of who they really are!

As Jesus’s comments in this passage imply, a disabled person can enter into “The Life” of wholeness and kinship that is the Kin(g)dom of God just as they are. To try to sever their disability from them would be the hindrance to that liberation. To deny that there are many ways to participate in the Body of Christ  impedes the incoming Kin(g)dom.

So let’s take this message to heart. Let’s consider what points of view, what assumptions about what is necessary for wholeness, are currently keeping us from abundant life, or causing us to stop others from their abundance-bringing work. It’s time to learn how to let those harmful assumptions go — and hold tight to the things that bring true wholeness.

For more on this text, check out my translation notes, which include a lot of commentary from D. Mark Davis’s own exegetical work.

For more on disability theology, you might enjoy my #disability theology tag on tumblr or my Disabled AND Blessed YouTube series. This video exploring the many different perspectives on disability found within the Bible is particularly pertinent.

Finally, what do you think? What good news do you hear in this Mark 9 text? What parts of it feel like a stumbling block for you, dredging up hurt or confusion?

[nozumonagito]

Overwhelmed

Naeleon (Makoto Naegi/Leon Kuwata)

(minor)emotional hurt/comfort fic. cw: yelling, demeaning of self, emotional outbursts. ~2k words

tldr; Leon is very overwhelmed, luckily he has Makoto there to help him

Based on this submission from @naeleon-headcanon-blog

Books? Check. Notebooks? Check. Blankets and a change of clothes? Check and check. Rucksack full of snacks he had stolen from the kitchen? Check!

Everything for operation date night was ready.

Carefully placing everything into his emptied school bag, Makoto slipped it onto his back and stuffed his room key into his pocket. A glance at the clock reassured him that it was only 9:20, there was still half an hour before he had to be heading out. But he had already finished his homework for the night, and there wasn't enough time to get started on a new project… it'd be fine to show up early, he reasoned.

He settled on the thought, locking his door behind him. With a smile on his face he turned to head down the hall, and almost ran straight into Yasuhiro. The clairvoyant was immediately on edge, jumping back from their barely-avoided collision and almost dropping his phone. They stared at each other for a moment, a look of understanding passing between them before the mystic smiled at him. "You gonna tell Taka I'm sneaking out?"

"I won't tell if you don't, Hiro."

The taller laughed, patting his shoulder and wishing him the best before running past him down the stairs. He could faintly hear him meeting up with some upperclassmen in the stairwell before their voices faded away.

Shaking his head, Makoto adjusted his bag and headed down the hall. It was always a little weird walking through the empty halls at night, but he could sometimes hear an exceptionally loud laugh from Mondo's room, or the sound of an anime opening from Hifumi's, and the sliver of light from beneath doors was enough of a reminder that everyone was there. He slowed down as he passed Ishimaru's room, trying to make his footsteps as quiet as possible. He really didn't want to be late for movie night because Taka caught him near curfew again.

But there was no light coming from behind the door, meaning he had either gone to bed early or was somewhere else, and it was enough of a confidence boost to let Makoto hurry the rest of the way to Leon's room. With midterms coming up they hadn't had much time to hang out lately, and he was eager to finally relax together. As he got closer to the door though, he was concerned with what he heard.

"-can't possibly be that fuckin' difficult! Piece of shit!"

There was no doubt it was Leon yelling, and he hesitated by the door. He could hear the distinct thud, thud, thud of something hitting the wall, and could picture the Ultimate throwing a tennis ball against the wall. One of the first years, Ryoma, had given him one after he put a hole in the wall from throwing his baseball at it. Using a softer ball was definitely an improvement, but there were still dents in the wall from the frequency and he could only imagine how it bothered other students.

Was… that why Hiro had left? They shared a wall, and he'd seen the clairvoyant take walks before when his neighbour was stressed, but for him to make plans for the night and leave? How long had Leon been at it?

The cry of "Motherfuc-" broke off into silence as Makoto knocked on the door. The banging against the wall stopped, and it was growing eerily quiet. He waited a few seconds, but when there was no answer he knocked again.

"Leon…?" No answer. He took a deep breath, letting it out slowly as he grabbed the handle. "Hey, I'm coming in, okay?"

The door swung open easily, it was hardly ever locked. Inside, he could see a textbook open on the desk, crumpled balls of paper overflowing from the waste bin next to it. Leon was standing by the chair, tennis ball in hand as he stared down at the book. As he walked in, Makoto couldn't help but notice there was a new dent in the wall by the bed. He set his book bag on the bed slowly, not wanting to startle Leon.

The ball in his hand bulged as he squeezed it, knuckles turning white as his other hand gripped the chair. He hadn't looked up once since he'd walked in the room, but his chest rose and fell quickly, as if struggling to get enough air. "Makoto… 's not a good time…" he mumbled, head turning slightly towards the lucky student. "Gonna need to, uh… cancel tonight..."

Regardless of his words, Makoto sat on the bed, pulling his legs up beneath him. They'd been in this situation before, each time Leon quietly asking him to leave. But he knew better than that, knew that the baseball star would only spiral further if left to his own devices. Instead, he just asked "What happened?"

He could see Leon freeze up, see the tension that coursed through him as his hands twitched, gripping the chair beside him as if it was a lifeline. The tennis ball dropped to the desk, bouncing a little against others in a bowl. "...Homework. Was tryin' to get it done before you came over, but I-" he broke off, running a hand through his hair.

Frustration was worming it's way into his voice. "Was tryin' to do these math problems but every time I start I fuck it up!" His voice was growing louder, frustration turning into anger as he grabbed a ball from the bowl and tossed it between his hands. "It shouldn't be this fuckin' difficult, right?! I mean, what the hell! Chi can do this shit in his sleep, and I can't even do one problem without fucking it up!"

Makoto's eyes darted to the ball, quickly returning to his face to show he was paying attention. The redhead's face was twisted in a sneer, and his eyes were focusing on nothing in specific, looking through whatever was in his line of sight. "Doesn't Chihiro usually help you with math?" he asked quietly, watching his classmate pace from one end of the room to another.

"Yeah, usually. He had some dumbass council thing tonight, asked if I could do it myself. Told him yeah, what the hell else would I tell 'im?!" Leon groaned loudly, running a hand through his hair again as he turned on his heel and paced back the way he just came. "Dude takes time out of his day to help me out all the time, can't just tell him no! Figured we'd done enough that I could manage one night on my own. It's just one night! Just three fuckin' problems! I shouldn't have this much fuckin' trouble-"

"Leon, wait, that's-!"

"-With an easy ass REMEDIAL CLASS!!" The baseball whizzed through the air regardless of Makoto's warning, hitting the lamp on his nightstand dead center and sending it crashing to the floor. Both boys stopped to look at it, the light flickering from behind the broken lampshade. "SHIT!!" Leon smacked his head, covering his eyes as he tried to calm himself down. "Can't believe I just did something so fucking stupid!!"

"Don't beat yourself up, you didn't-" Makoto started to say, but stopped himself as he saw Leon stop pacing and pull at his hair, eyes squeezed shut.

"Stupid! Stupid stupid stupid!!"

"Leo-"

"STUPIDSTUPIDSTUPIDSTUPIDSTUPIDSTUPID!!!"

A gentle hand resting on Leon's arm made his eyes snap open, watery grey eyes searching Makoto's face desperately. He led the baseball player to the bed slowly, sitting him down and grabbing a thermos from his bag to offer him a drink. "Here, take a sip" he spoke softly, his hand never leaving his arm as he squeezed it reassuringly.

Leon took a long sip, taking a shuddering breath like he had forgotten how to breathe. He was practically hyperventilating, tears streaking their way down his face and Makoto sat beside him, making Leon look at him. "Hey, it's okay, I'm right here. Can you count with me? 10… 9… 8…" Quietly, Leon's voice joined his own, continuing with him down to one.

Squeezing his arm, Makoto took the thermos from his shaking hands, setting it on the nightstand. "There we go… Can you tell me what day it is?"

"...Wednesday."

"Where are we?"

"...Hope's Peak."

"What's your talent?"

"....Fuckin' baseball."

"Who am I?"

Leon's breathing had started to calm down, blinking as he looked slowly up at his companion. "Koto… my boyfriend…"

Makoto gave him a gentle smile, nodding his head and taking shaking hands into his own. His fingers ran over the decorative rings his boyfriend was still wearing, and he felt Leon grip his hands like he'd disappear. "Yep, I'm right here for you. Always."

It wasn't the first time Leon had had an overload in front of him, and it certainly wouldn't be the last, but he knew the boy was afraid of scaring him off. The first time he'd thrown something in front of him, Leon had avoided him for a week, paranoid that he wouldn't want to be around him anymore. Makoto would be lying if he said it wasn't concerning, but he was determined to understand, setting aside time to sit down privately with Leon and talk to him about it.

He was easily overwhelmed if he felt he wasn't good enough at something, and his relying on baseball to get him through school had meant he never really learnt how to study. Now that he was in Hope's Peak, surrounded by people who were all experts in their field, he was finding it harder and harder not to get angry at himself when he couldn't do something. Usually he could push the feeling inside, but it would keep building and building until he couldn't keep pushing it down, and if something particularly difficult happened, or he heard too many of what he labelled as "bad sounds", or he was having an off day, his brain would go into an overload and he'd shut down, unable to control his anger at himself.

This was something that Makoto was sort of familiar with, as too much stimuli or conflicting sounds could send him into a sensory overload, and he could relate on some level. He didn't get angry, like Leon did, but he'd had his fair share of crying sessions in his dorm after a particularly difficult day with stimuli. He'd made extra-sure that Leon knew what he experienced was valid, and reassured him that he wasn't scared. Since that day, he'd caught Leon on the verge of breaking a few times, and once in the middle of an episode. Each time he sat down and helped him work through it, reassuring him that he wasn't stupid or an idiot like he claimed.

"Why do you keep helping me, Koto?" Leon asked suddenly, his face buried in Makoto's hair as he held him close. His voice was barely above a whisper, cracking as he spoke. "Nothing makin' you deal with me when I'm like... this… hell, half the time I'm yelling at you to leave. Why bother?"

Makoto hugged him tightly, pressing a chaste kiss to his shoulder. "Because you're worth it, Leon... I wish you could see that."

He felt him laugh, but there was no humour behind it. The loud student was tired, having worn himself out emotionally. He leaned back against the wall, pulling Makoto with him. There was a moment of silence as they situated themselves, neither one wanting to destroy the comfortable silence they found themselves in.

"...I love you, man."

Though his eyes were closed, he could practically hear the smile in Makoto's voice. "Love you too, Leon."

[sonicfrontiers]

OOUGGH IM SO GLAD IM NOT THE ONLY ONE THINKING ABOUT SEA OF THIEVES HLVRAI AU... PLEASE !!!! PLEASE PLEASE SHARE UR IDEAS I WANNA HEAR THEM SO BAD

OHHH ANON YOU HAVE SAVED MY FUCKING LIFE WITH THIS ASK THANK YOU SO MUCH

SO !! i barely have anything yet bc i just had this fucking brain blast like an hour ago but. here are my Thoughts so far:

so the very first thing i tried to think of was like. what everyone is? i did my best w this but i am so fuckin open to ideas..... i don’t know shit! 

the easiest answer right off the bat was who the humans are (or at least the pirates who appear to be human) in this. we got the science team as the pirate crew—gordon, tommy, bubby, and coomer! they are sailing the seas and maybe they are not doing a very good job of it but it’s fine. it’s Fine

the second easiest answer was benrey’s situation. we got skeletons fuck yeah. benrey got some of that curse uh oh! however w benrey’s situation that’s more like... sometimes being a skeleton rather than just steadily turning into one, i thought maybe the curse fucked up on him? maybe it’s like. he’s only half cursed to just sometimes be a skeleton but he can also look human again too. i don’t fucking know. also OH SHIT BENREY HAS TO BE NOT HUMAN UHJHHHHHHHH fuck it guess he’s part ancient now too. i guess. shit i’ll have to spend more time on him but this is.. the gist

next we got uhh forzen babey. i’ll be honest i’m not too confident on this one. i had the vague idea that maybe he’s a mermaid? although whether he’s one of the mermaids that steals sunken pirates and turns them into mermaids or one of the mermaids who was turned into a pirate i can’t really decide. i mean the pirates-turned-mermaids are always helpful in game, and forzen. well. Isn’t, but the mermaid-mermaids live so far deep that they’re never seen? so i don’t know. but he’s out there.... in the ocean....... somewhere....... waiting for me to have more brain power to answer this

it’s darnold time! i’ll be honest i also don’t have many ideas for this guy. i thought maybe he’s got something to do with the order of souls? that’s vaguely related to potions right? sage darnold with the oos eyes curse and he reads the fuckin skull juices to help out the crew with their voyages..... i think? there are other options too but this is the one that jumped out at me the most!

GREGORY MAN. the man himself. SO I GOT TWO POSSIBILITIES HERE FOR THIS GUY. what i can’t decide on is how much of canon sot i want to be canon in this au... mainly, the stuff abt the pirate lord. i got two options here, one of which is that ramsey still exists as the pirate lord and he hangs out doing mostly the same shit he does in canon, and gman is like. an ancient who stuck around the sea of thieves for whatever reason? which would make tommy a descendant of the ancients too, hence why i specified earlier that all the pirates in the crew might not be human..... EITHER THAT OR gman is the pirate lord and ramsey fuckin uh doesn’t exist in the au. and i CANNOT for the life of me decide which i like better. ANY HELP APPRECIATE HERE PLS

OH ALSO I FORGOT SUNKIST HE’S A MONKEY THAT TOMMY HAS AND HE CAN DO COOL TRICKS AND EVERYONE LOVES HIM. HE’S IMMORTAL SOMEHOW. DON’T WORRY ABOUT IT

THEN. it’s tim,e for “how the fuck did everyone get past the shroud into the sot”

i think no matter who the pirate lord is in this au they’d have no problems letting pretty much anyone in honestly. ramsey just kinda says “oh you washed up unconscious on the shores of old sailor’s isle? cool let me just not ask any questions and part the shroud for you real quick ok bye” and honestly i can’t imagine gman would be much different—although he’d probably be more cryptic abt it than ramsey is

SO. GORDOS. i feel like him coming to the sot was a last resort of sorts. he feels lost in life, unsure what his goal is or where he’s going, and he hears of this mystical sea that nobody who enters ever leaves but apparently there’s adventure and treasure and wonder there so he’s like fuck it, i’ve got nothing else to do and goes there hoping to find some sort of purpose. and find it he does :)

tommy time! i feel like whatever brought him here had to be partially related to his dad? either he’s just There bc. well. his dad’s the fuckin pirate lord, or gman’s all cryptid abt being an ancient and left tommy to sort of grow up in the sot on his own while gman kept a distant eye on him, just so tommy wouldn’t find out too much abt being an ancient or whatever. uh. so he’s pretty familiar w the world of sot and all its wacky magic shit! 

(actual sot lore question here bc this is smth i don’t know—does all the magic that happens in sea of thieves happen beyond the shroud? i wonder if the rest of the world also has skeletons and giant sea monsters and magic and shit or if it’s just inside the sea of thieves...... hmmm for this au i’m gonna assume that all magic is something unique to the sea of thieves and doesn’t happen beyond the shroud) 

The Bubby. honestly i like the idea that bubby came to the sot just to like... get away from the outside world? like maybe he’s on the run from something............ this is very very vague in my mind and is extremely subject to change but i like the whole “I’M LEAVING THIS WORLD!” thing as bubby being like fuck the regular world i’m going into the flesh eating devil shroud and nobody can stop me. and then he did

coomer. the man himself. i think coomer came to the sot searching for adventure! and more to learn! he’s always looking to broaden his horizons and where else to go but to the mystical sea of thieves when looking for new experiences? coomer is just here to have a good time :)

UH i think darnold already existed in the sot... he just sorta Lives There... there are npcs who just fucking were born and raised there right. like tasha was in the sot at age 4 so it makes sense right?? darnold just live here and he helps get the crew from the outside world familiar with the sot!

FORZEN has been in the sot for ages—either he’s always been here as a mermaid or he got turned into one so long ago and he’s just been getting angrier and angrier w it every year he’s trapped here. he barely remember why he came anymore but god does he regret it. :(

gman either way just kind of Is There huh..... as the pirate lord i honestly can’t imagine his origin being much different than ramsey’s? like he just makes friends w the ancients like hey what’s up i like this sea. my sea now. or he Is an ancient and just fucking chills there. whatever

OK THAT’S MOSTLY IT FOR WHAT I HAVE FOR TECHNICAL STUFF WHEN IT COMES DOWN TO IT..... HERE ARE SOME OTHER FUN BITS I THOUGHT OF:

bubby discovers firebombs and Uh Oh. Uh Oh Everyone Watch Out Bubby’s Got Fire Powers Now. he only accidentally sets the ship on fire SOMETIMES it’s FINE. (also his favorite region is the devil’s roar. unsurprisingly. he likes the chaos it brings)

bubby and tommy + coomer as well are agents of chaos in general. they don’t follow the fuckin Rules and it makes gordon’s life a living hell. 

bubby: look gordon i dug up some grubs! gordon: cool man, put those in the barrel and we can use them to fish late- bubby: (shoving the grubs in his mouth) gordon: BUBBY NO WHAT THE FUCK DON’T EAT TH coomer: oh, what a good idea, bubby! i am feeling quite hungry myself! (also starts eating worms) gordon: I’M COOKING DINNER AT THE CAMPFIRE RIGHT NOW PLEASE DON’T tommy: oh are the worms okay to eat? i wonder what they taste like gordon: NO STOP benrey, shoving worms in gordon’s face: eat worms? eat worms now please?

coomer finds out how to launch himself out of a cannon and he becomes unstoppable. the crew is attacked by an enemy ship and everyone’s like “oh fuck everyone get to the cannons!” and they go there to find coomer fucking launching himself directly onto the enemy ship, and he kills their entire crew in seconds. by the time he mermaids back to his ship everyone is fucking stunned silent and coomer is just like “well, that takes care of that! let’s get back on course, gentlemen!” and since then they just fucking fire coomer at people like a weapon whenever they get attacked by other pirates or skeletons. It Always Works

UH AND I THINK THAT’S KIND OF WHAT I HAVE SO FAR? i might be forgetting something but this post is long enough as is...... 

IF ANYONE HAS ANYTHING TO ADD FEEL FREE!!! i love sea of thieves so fuckin much man... and i didn’t even TOUCH on anything like any of the reaper’s bones shit which i would be interested in looking at getting involved in this au somehow...... i will probably come back to this if anyone else is interested !! otherwise that’s all i got for now!!!! thank you so much for asking anon!!!!!

[wheredidhiseyebrowsgo]

Hi! Do you know any sterek fics where cora and stiles/laura and stiles are rally good friends? Thanks!

Definitely. - Anastasia

Work In Progress by JenNova

(1/1 I 7,856 I General I Sterek)

“What are you trying to do?” Lydia asks finally.

“Fix Derek,” Stiles says, not bothering to dissemble �� Lydia's been lied to enough. “You know, before someone or something else tries to use him.”

(im)Perfect System by theroguesgambit

(1/1 I 7,903 I Teen I Sterek)

Stiles has always felt pretty lucky about his soul mark. After all, how many conversations tend to start with “This is private property”?

(Apparently more than you'd think.)

No Other Love by Idday

(1/1 I 18,745 I Teen I Sterek)

And maybe it’s irony, or the universe at work, or maybe it’s just Derek Hale’s shitty luck, but that’s when, at that exact moment (as Stiles will swear later), there’s a knock on the door.“Laura?” Derek breathes in disbelief, and Stiles feels his own face fall into confused slackness.Because the girl standing in the doorway? The last time Stiles had seen her—or, well, half of her—she’d been very naked, and very, very dead.“Hey, baby bro,” she says with a grin....OR: The one where Laura comes back from the dead, and it turns out to be bad for Stiles, because he’s suddenly spending a lot of quality time with one of the coolest people he’s ever met, and her brother. The guy that he might be just a little in love with. He's not okay.

Dude, Werewolves by mysecretashes

(1/1 I 29,623 I Explicit I Sterek)

Stiles gets partnered with Cora for a history project, and they become bros. Also, he kind of falls in love with her older brother, Derek.

Blackbird by skoosiepants

(5/5 I 25,134 I Teen I Sterek)

Stiles groans and drops his face into his hands. “I’m seventeen, I can kind of use mountain ash and I can explode houses when I’m mad enough. How am I gonna win any kind of magic fight?”

“We’ll work on it,” Deaton says, as infuriatingly calm as ever. “The important thing to remember, Stiles, is that when everything else is chaos, you’re the port in the storm.”

Or-

Laura Hale never died, and Stiles is magic.

Broken Cookie, Shattered Glass by clawstoagunfight (orphan_account)

(1/1 I 36,301 I Explicit I Sterek)

After Stiles' best friend moves out of the apartment the two of them have shared for the last five years and into his own in a different city with his fiancee, Stiles is in desperate need of a new roommate. After a dinner with the Hale family, Stiles finally has a new roommate. The only problem is that he seems to hate Stiles' guts.

You Only Live Once...or Twice by WonderWolf

(6/6 I 32,549 I Explicit I Sterek)

“Anything,” Derek’s eyes are determined, boring into Stiles’.

Stiles huffs a laugh, “Careful there, big guy. Don’t want to be promising anything to every necromancer you meet. Some might ask for your soul or someth—”

“I’ll give you my soul to bring her back,” Derek says, his voice steady and strong with resolve, “if that’s what you want.”

Stiles’ mouth gapes open for a moment before his brain kicks into gear and he stutters out, “N-no, I don’t ask for that. I only ask for money.”

(Or the one in which Stiles is a necromancer who needs help stopping a rogue alpha and Derek is the solution, but at what cost?)

tongue of dog and blind-worm's sting by Zercalo

(7/7 I 51,906 I Explicit I Sterek)

In order to keep the identity of the teacher he's been seeing a secret, Derek's been withdrawing from his pack and family. Cora, frustrated with his alienation and a little lonely, clings to the first nonjudgmental person who offers companionship – which happens to be that odd Muggleborn Revenclaw who's always hanging around the Gryffindor common room.

She hasn't befriended Stiles for Derek's sake, but Derek just might reap the benefits anyway - if he pulls his head out of his ass and quit the stupid self-sacrificing act.

Can I borrow a kiss? I promise I'll give it back. by ColdHeartedBitch

(40/? I 81,299 I Mature I Sterek)

“It’s a private property.”

Those are his first words to Stiles who stands with wide eyes and jaw hanging low. He should say something. Like simple sorry, for example. He truly had no idea this part of the forest belongs to someone. So yeah, it is appropriate to apologize for trespassing. But guess what? Stiles' brain to mouth filter isn’t having it so instead of apology, what comes out is:

“Oh my god, your eyes are beautiful.”_

Or,the one where Stiles meets Derek in the forest. Somehow, they become friends, boyfriends, lovers, family.

i fell into the moon by lscar123

(35/35 I 234,122 I Mature I Sterek)

Laura Hale is arrested hours after returning to Beacon Hills. Derek Hale returns to town to bring his sister back home and together they are drawn into the mystery of a rogue wolf on their family land. They also can't seem to stop bumping into the Sheriff's son, Stiles.

Laura is determined to make Stiles her new best friend and Derek just wants everyone to survive so he can get the hell out of the town that took everything from him. Stiles just wants everyone to be happy.

[elbowreveal]

Exactly!!! I was going to mention that and I think I forgot! I try to talk louder when I really need to, but it's legitimately physically harder. It feels like yelling for me to talk at 'normal volume.' I think most of the time everyone else's voices don't quite hurt to listen to for me, but I get that! Like why is it acceptable to tell people they're too quiet but not to tell people they're too loud? I can deal with regular volume, but so many people really do just straight up yell in their normal conversations and that hurts! Sometimes I wish I didn't have to go out in general public where it's just loud like that. I feel like I know so many people whose regular speaking volume is most people's yelling volume. If you're too quiet, you have to speak up, but if it's too loud, you just have to deal with it.

YEP YEP YEP ALL OF THIS SO MUCH A A AA ive gotten Better:tm: at setting boundaries with my family specifically- they know to lower their voice (i also am just Generally Triggered by Slightly Raised Voices, but thats a whole other can of worms lmao) when i ask them to; not always without pushback, but 90percent comply rate. it took some putting my foot down, but theyve improved! standing up for urself is The Most important. loudness i feel like has to do with Dominance- intentionally loud ppl want to be Noticed and In Charge. its the auditory equivalent of bonking everyone in the room with a baseball bat. basically what im saying is the flipside of this problem is getting people to listen. using social rules, 'fake kindness', and being snarky usually can shut someone up if theyre being overbearing. personally ive been holed up in my gamer room for the past yr so i dont have many recent anecdotes besides the cashiers at stores asking me several times to repeat myself because the masks make me even quieter 😭

I dont know where i was goign with this sjfhdf- basically HARD agree on what u said, EXCEPT u can metaphorically Bite People into Respecting U Properly, which is what i advise.

tell tht mfer to shut the hell up!! it hurts ur brain!!! shaddup, its ez!! this post was made by Quiet Gang

[halorocks1214]

ბარტერი (a Thunderbirds fic)

Chapter 1: გატაცებული

AO3 Link

Word Count: 3892

Summary: And here they thought getting their father back was the least of their worries.

i make no promises for this fic. the upload schedule will be totally willy nilly because i havent really been feeling the whole writing thing and because of my other fics and projects and irl shit. i hate to admit it but im on the fence on whether or not this will actually be completed, BUT, i still am surprisingly proud of this so im posting it anyway. hope yall enjoy!

“Okay, what’s the dealio?”

Gordon easily skipped around his younger brother with a slightly faux-naive voice. They were currently out in the field, damn tsunamis not being picked up by the D.A.R.T. soon enough, and while Gordon knew better than to talk about personal things during a rescue, it was the first time in a while he even had the chance to talk to Alan.

Who was currently more forlorn than Gordon was aware he could be if the way he watched his toes kick whatever small rock they strutted past was any indication. It took a moment for Alan to register his older brother’s question, but when he did, he blinked a few times before looking at Gordon with a raised eyebrow, “What?”

Gordon was going to play this slyly. Treat it as banter, not an interrogation. Gordon idly leaned over and picked up a stick. He started to twirl it, never meeting Alan’s gaze directly, “I don’t know, you seem off. Just wanted to see if it was anything I could help with.”

Alan went back to kicking the pebbles, shrugging his shoulders in a way that said ‘this was a big deal but I don’t want you to know that’, “Oh, sorry, just tired. It’s not my fault I was having a wonderful nap in the closet only for John to make me tumble out of it due to the alarms. The fact that we’ve been out here for God knows how many hours doesn’t help.”

Gordon’s chuckles at that statement were slightly fake. Alan was hiding something, and if Gordon had to imitate Scott, well, then it was only Alan’s fault, “Yeah-huh. Sounds good.” He focused on the stick, pretending it was a wand and waving it around as such, “Decided on a college yet?”

Alan still didn’t look up, and Gordon could hear the noises of rocks getting kicked and traveling a foot or two. Alan answered him monotonously, “Uh, not really. I’ve narrowed it down to three. I haven’t brought them up with anyone other than Grandma though since the last thing I want to do is create a World War between our older brothers about which one is better.”

Gordon snorted but then got serious again. Dammit, Gordon, you are not letting him worm his way out of this. Again, “If I promise Scout’s Honor will you tell me them?” He cheekily grinned at Alan, which got a small smile out of the younger brother. Nice, getting closer. Now Gordon was doing that rubber pencil trick with the stick, way more immersed with the visual illusion than he probably should be, “Hmm, is it girl trouble?”

Alan rolled his eyes, but Gordon could tell he was getting annoyed, which meant the older brother was getting close. Alan kept his facade up, crunching a stick underneath his feet as he started walking just a little faster, “If you mean ‘Kayo chased me for accidentally spilling paint on Shadow’s nose’ then yes, I’m having lots of girl trouble.”

Gordon winced wholeheartedly and sympathetically. He remembered when he accidentally tripped and spilled water all over the front of her one night. He wasn’t aware she was a fan of throwing them into the pool just as much as he was until that night. It was in annoyance, but still, Gordon considered it a similar hobby between them regardless, “Yeesh, sorry for bringing up traumatizing memories bro.” Squinting at the stick he was playing with, he put it over his lips like a faux-mustache, lightbulb dinging in his brain with joyful glee, “Boy trouble?”

Alan groaned at started walking way faster than Gordon. Once he was about three feet away from Gordon, he shouted while still facing forward so Gordon could hear him, “Oh my god, let it go, Gordon!”

Bingo, Gordon thought he hit the jackpot. Throwing the stick away and keeping his distance from Alan, his grin went ear to ear with excitement at what he thought was figuring it out, “Oh man, okay, wait, hang on, is it that Bear kid? The one Scott rescued for the umpteenth time last week? Or, wait, didn’t Conrad visit you up at ‘Five two weeks ago during your rotation?” Giggling, Gordon rubbed his hands together mischievously, “Allie, how dare you. Romantic or not, it’s my job to help you out with these things--”

Suddenly and abruptly, and shutting Gordon up, Alan turned around and glared at Gordon while his fists were haphazardly clenched at his hips, “Fine, Mr. Nosey, you wanna know? It’s about Dad, okay?!”

Well, there went any ability to joke in this situation. Gordon lost his smile completely and stared mindlessly at his younger brother, who was breathing heavily and still glaring, but Gordon could tell there was a hint of anxiety behind his eyes.

Dad had been back for about two-and-a-half months now, and the Tracy family seemed to be settling into a new routine with him. Everyone was happy Jeff was back in one piece, none more so than Jeff than himself. They quickly figured out how to slowly integrate him back, starting with daily chores, reaching him having permission to help out with IR, and now they were getting ready to reintroduce him back into Tracy Industries.

The anxiety in Alan’s features was suddenly all Gordon could see in them, followed by Alan shaking his head and turning back around, “Shit-- forget I said anything, that’s not why--”

Before he could even think, Gordon shot his arm out to grab Alan by the wrist, his amber eyes wide with careful thought. He needed to think these words through. The idea that Alan was nervous regarding talking about his own dad was... “Allie… I know you didn’t have as much… time with him, but he’s your father too. You don’t have to hide any opinion about him for me, for us.”

Alan still wasn’t looking at Gordon, but the older brother definitely saw the tiny and hidden flinch the younger brother made at your father too. Gordon barely held back the sharp inhale he wanted to make. Okay, that was an entire suitcase, one he, unfortunately, couldn’t unpack right now (as much as he loathed to admit it that was a Scooter problem), so he focused the first problem he figured out, “Allie, are you upset Dad is back or?...”

That got Alan to turn around, “No! Jesus, Gordon, of course, I’m happy he’s back. The only reason I graduated right before we left was that Scott and John both told me to go do something while we waited because “the way you’re bouncing on your toes is going to burn a hole in the ground and Grandma won’t like that,” remember? I’m ecstatic he’s alive and back home.”

Letting Alan gently go, Gordon took a deep breath to reorganize his thoughts, “Okay, then what about Dad has got you so worked up?”

Alan was suddenly much younger than the fresh, getting-ready-to-go-to-college, young man Gordon saw this morning, “You remember that argument between Scotty and Dad, right? The one about five weeks ago that we shouldn’t have listened in on but did anyway?”

Gordon flinched, not wanting to remember that argument.

The two have made up since then, but it was a shock to just about everybody on the island, including John and Virgil, who the blondes nervously told the morning after so they could get some kind of reassurance the world wasn’t ending. In the Tracys’ quest to have their Fairytale Happily Ever After, it never occurred to them that their father might not like how they were running things.

Scott made a decision that didn’t sit well with the older man, and he let his son know that in tactless, Jeff Tracy fashion. Scott’s decision wasn’t the best per se, certainly not the worst, but he could’ve waited for some better options, but Jeff couldn’t just say that outright, that he was concerned about his son taking risks like that. He had to immediately jump to the idea that Scott’s leadership might be lacking suddenly.

It also didn’t help that Scott couldn’t just fucking say that, while he was sorry for being slightly rash, he didn’t like being undermined after years of successful leadership. He went straight for the fact that Jeff had been gone for the past eight years. Scott didn’t blame the man for it, God no, but the insinuation that Jeff wasn’t any better than Scott because of it stung everyone in the room. Because being reminded of the fact that Dad was technically a dead man for a big portion of all of their lives wasn’t bad enough.

Gordon forgot that Scott could be too much like Jeff for his own fucking good, as well as the fact that Scott did get it from Jeff Tracy of all people.

Adult men Gordon’s ass, two old and stubborn as hell mules more like it.

They were both stuck on the fact that now there might have to be challenges of authority, and frankly, now that the oldest outside of Grandma put that idea on the table, it bothered everyone else barely more than those two combined.

Jeff apologized for how he acted after Grandma ripped him a new one, and Scott apologized for jumping the gun a little bit too (after Grandma yelled at him as well), but there was no promising no second fight, least of all one like that.

It was a little like being a kid and watching Mommy and Daddy fight for the first time.

Long story short: it sucked ass.

Alan took a shuddery breath and brought Gordon down from that memory. Alan then proceeded to wrap his arms around himself, rubbing up and down in a weak attempt to ground himself, “I just… what if he had all these ideas about me while he was up there, and what if I’m completely different from those ideas and it disappoints him?”

Oh, sweet Jiminy Cricket.

What the hell was Gordon to say to that? Jeff was a loving a supportive father, more so than others. Gordon remembered all of his swim meets and such for a good reason, so his first response to that statement was easily of course he would be proud of you!

But there was an ever so tiny thing that grabbed Gordon’s tongue from saying that outright. It was honestly minor, so he wasn’t sure why it kept hitting him like a fucking truck.

Eight. Years.

Jeff Tracy was a remarkable man, and even more remarkable father, but nobody spent eight years in isolation, let alone spent it thousands of miles up in space, without it having some kind of consequence. Jeff would never outright disown his sons for anything as long as it wasn’t illegal or got themselves or others hurt, but he was human, and he had preferences just like the rest of them had.

So, disappointed? Hell no. But potentially shocked and uninterested? Less supportive than other endeavors? Gordon loved his father, but he had to admit that he was at a loss. There weren’t Dead Men for Dummies books anywhere, and it sucked to say it, but Jeff was different. They were different, and the only way they would know how this Jeff reacted to things would be an in-the-moment experience, and if Scott’s and his argument was the first concrete example they had...

With how different Gordon was to the rest of his family, he always worried that he would never fully fit in. When Jeff came back he was excited just as much as Alan, as the rest of his family, but Gordon was always worried about his dad the most. He cheered him on at his swim meets, sure, but Gordon was always keenly aware of how the man, outside of taking him to and from them and, well, cheering, lots and lots of cheering, never really asked more than How did it go, sport?

Gordon wanted to be the only Tracy with that fear. It sucked, but in the end, his family always came through even if they weren’t aware of his anxieties. Now that Alan has them, over his father no less…

That just brings them right back around to the start: Gordon would be lying to himself if he knew what Jeff thought of him, let alone Alan.

Alan was a perceptive person, and if Gordon lied to himself, Alan would see that and know Gordon was lying to him as well, and that would very easily make the situation worse.

However, before Gordon had any chance to say something, words pulled from his ass or otherwise, anything to ease his baby brother’s low thoughts, footsteps rustled in the distance, causing the two blondes to snap their heads to look to the side. What they saw were two men, one larger and older, another younger and seemingly out of his comfort zone, in a sense. Gordon was going to chalk it up to ‘being a rescuee after a tsunami’, but his squid senses were tingling, and he felt himself easily go slightly taut.

The younger stranger blinked a few times before snapping his head up to look at the two IR Operatives in front of him. His eyes lit up, and Gordon suspected it wasn’t because he was about to be rescued.

“Oh, shit, these guys are young. How much do you think they would sell for?”

And just like that, Gordon’s gut twisted into a killer pretzel and was dropped off a five-story building. This had to be a joke, had to be. These kinds of people were only supposed to exist in horror stories. In the dark parts of the internet that are mainly regarded as myths, created to scar the poor children who snuck onto their parents’ laptop without permission. Even if they were real, Gordon and Alan couldn’t have had that bad of luck to--

“Remember what we said about famous people? Forget the ages, these guys are International Rescue. Most clients will throw physicality to the wind if something famous is involved.”

Gordon also thought that your pupil shrinking to the size of the tip of a needle when you’re terrified was a myth, but as the blood completely drained from his face and left him white as a sheet, he had to concede he was wrong about multiple things tonight.

Holy hand grenade in a fucking handbasket.

The state of shock his body was forcing him to enter was bad, like, shock-blankets-are-required level bad, but trembles from a different body right next to him snapped him back into attention.

Alan was trembling, his grip on Gordon’s arm so tight that the older brother wouldn’t be surprised to find bruises when his outfit was finally taken off. There was only a marginal amount more color compared to Gordon behind those freckles, and Gordon couldn’t tell if his brother’s pupils were any smaller with the way the kid was flicking them around like crazy, “Wha-- what are they talking about?”

Ah, shock was one hell of a bitch.

Alan was 18 years of age, an adult. He flew a rocket into space for a part-time job. He also lived on an island where he was mainly homeschooled and was soon to be off at some kind of college (maybe even online classes). As embarrassing as it could be, his family wasn’t going to be the puritan fam that shoved the mere thought of sex to the sidelines. Alan had four older brothers who spent a significant amount of time on the mainland around other people more than the youngest could ever dream of. Most time of which was spent in their respective high schools (or Olympics fields, ‘cause Gordon wasn’t exactly of age when he still had school over there) with hot girls and boys-- similar hobbies or not-- that had the same level of hormones flying about.

They knew things and weren’t afraid to answer any question Alan had.

Also, Alan had a huge internet hobby; video games, browsing social media, you name it. The kid’s probably heard stories that would give Scott hernias for days. Alan had to have stumbled across the topic of human trafficking somewhere, whether it was the plot of a teen-rated video game or something as simple as a news article. At the end of the day, this kind of thing was something everyone was subconsciously aware of, but you didn’t think about it because A, it was awful, and B, more often than not, it didn’t happen to you.

But the way Alan stared at Gordon like the prankster held the stars in his palms-- as if he could snap his fingers and bring them to safety in the blink of an eye reminded Gordon that Alan was always a little bit more sheltered than any of them could help it. Alan was one of the last things their mother gave them, and the way John and he essentially became her just split into two people hurt more than any of them would be willing to admit.

Alan knew the horrors of the world firsthand, but he never had to fully grasp it because his older brothers would be there to shoulder it for him.

Always.

Like hell Gordon was going to drop that tradition today.

“Alan, run.”

With a shove and a half, Gordon ripped his little brother’s hand from his upper arm and sent him in the other direction. Gordon also ripped his own heart in half as he ignored the somewhat naive cry of Gordon! as it got quieter and quieter. Despite the guilt, Alan listened and booked it. Like a baby calf being told to run away from starving lions while the mom stayed behind to protect it. Gordon, mostly satisfied that his bro was safe, turned around and swallowed the bile that was rising in his throat.

He was hoping his glare could be as scary as Scott’s or even Virgil’s, but the way the creepy strangers just chuckled as if the threat he posed was no bigger than a tiny kitten filled Gordon with both anger and fear. They knew he was from IR. If they weren’t scared of him, what did that mean they were prepared for?

The older man stated an order, one that had Gordon’s blood run cold, “Go after the other. I got this one.”

Gordon got out half an angry “Hey!” before the man that spoke suddenly charged at him. On reflex, Gordon put himself into a fighting stance and prevented both of them from toppling over. He hardly considered it a victory, though, as the other guy who was ordered to run after Gordon’s baby brother was gone and out of sight before Gordon could even look up after nearly having the wind knocked out of him.

Gritting his teeth and shoving the man off of him, bringing his arms up and curling his fists with a glare brighter than his hair, the only plan he could go with was the one where he took this guy down as quickly as possible. Right now, the only solace Gordon had was the fact that his brother was a quick puppy. He didn’t only need ‘Three to move at the speed of light.

C’mon, Alan, show me why Track was worth it.

Focusing completely on his enemy, Gordon figured the man was intentionally slimy with his words, as the only thing he did in response to Gordon tensing like a cornered animal was to chuckle in cold amusement, “You’re a wily one, they’ll like that.”

Don’t throw up don’t throw up don’t throw up don’t--

Gordon reinstigated the fight with a snarl, landing a punch that didn’t cause as much damage as he wanted, but it was enough for him to gain a slight upper hand. The man wasn’t thrown off balance, nor did he majorly flinch back from the recoil, but he did understand that he had to play more defensively. It was like two stubborn stallions fighting over the mare in the area.

One young and smaller and quicker, his age not a roadblock but an easy strength. If he hit just right his opponent would topple over as quickly as he could throw his fists. The older one, however, was still larger, and while he might have been slower and less agile, his age allowed more wisdom and understanding. He’s probably seen (and kidnapped) many like Gordon, so he knew exactly how to play him like a damn fiddle.

It was hard to say who would win until one of them was either running for the hills, beaten and bloody, or dead at the victor’s feet.

Gordon wasn’t sure how long they went at it, but he knew it was longer than he liked.

He was somehow barely winning it regardless, and he was fully prepared to give Penny a big heckin smooch for the lessons that were currently saving his life, but even with her endless knowledge and background, she couldn’t prepare Gordon for dirty tactics. Stallions fighting over mares usually just involve two of them.

Right as Gordon was able to grab the man’s arms and wring them around his back, a magical third person appeared, different to the second one that went after Alan, like a freaking wizard with his own magic wand.

Which was also known as a cattle prod to most.

The pokey object was jabbed into his side. Fire filled his body, making him scream out in pain. Gordon remembered when he and Virgil messed with one back on the farm as kids and how they learned their lesson the hard way. He was hoping to never “learn” it again. Yet as a couple thousand volts flared throughout his abdomen, even with the suit, he had to relent and let go of his makeshift hostage. His body was on autopilot and it said get away from source of burning pain.

His body tried, oh, it tried, but what was previously his prisoner managed to stand in the blink of an eye and swing a fist into the side that wasn’t being tortured by an agricultural device. With another short, cut off scream, Gordon fell over onto his ass. His wheezes were brutal, the air not wanting to come back into his body despite itself. At this point, the logical part of his brain was telling him he wasn’t going to get away and he should save his energy to withstand whatever these people were going to do to him, but as always, the emotional part was overriding everything.

Shit, guys, help! Scotty, Virg, Dad--

He turned around to be on his hands and knees and scrambled to try and run as Alan did. He might be faster in the water than on land, but that didn’t mean he wasn’t one quick son of a bitch when he wanted to be. It was enough for his gym classes, it was enough when he needed to run away after a successful prank, it was enough when his grandma needed a new test subject...

But it wasn’t enough here.

The cattle prod was shoved into the back of his neck, and with it came darkness and a growing sense of dread.

Please, Mom, get Allie to our family.

[citialiin]

THE POSITIVE & NEGATIVE; Mun & Muse - Meme.

fill out & repost ♥ This meme definitely favors canons more, but I hope OC’s still can make it somehow work with their own lore, and lil’ fandom of friends & mutuals. Multi-Muses pick the muse you are the most invested in atm. tagged by: @forseenclade thank you ! man i am so bad at doing memes.  tagging: @blossomingbeelzebug @zhrets @lupichorous @dansiere yayayayayayayaya

My muse is:   canon / oc / au / canon-divergent / fandomless / complicated [ z/iggy stardust is DEFINITELY not my original character, but 683 is, and every single part of how i rp ziggy from his backstory to his personality was made up by me. that being said, ziggy is still a character that exists in media. ]

Is your character popular in the fandom?  YES / NO. [ im pretty sure ziggy is tied with the thin white duke as one of b*wie’s most famous fictional personas? ]

Is your character considered hot™ in the fandom?  YES ? / NO / IDK.

Is your character considered strong in the fandom?  YES / NO / IDK.

Are they underrated?  YES / NO / IDK. [ maybe a little overrated ]

Were they relevant for the main story?  YES / NO.

Were they relevant for the main character?  YES / NO / THEY’RE THE PROTAG.

Are they widely known in their world?  YES / NO.

How’s their reputation?  GOOD / BAD / NEUTRAL. [ celebrity rock god of limitless talent vs inevitable overrated washup. most celebrities are polarizing anyways ]

How strictly do you follow canon?  — there isnt much canon to go off of i think? the album barely even states if ziggy is an alien and b*wie himself got really wishy washy about it (sometimes saying z is a human who was contacted by aliens, he was an alien himself, etc). i dont think we know anything about him besides what he looks like (red hair / weird eyes / pale / “well hung” lmao) and he has a band called the spiders from mars, he plays the guitar left handed, he’s bisexual + androgynous, and he’s charming and popular with the teens but inevitably is a victim of his own ego. and he dies.  that too.  but that’s literally it! we know Nothing else about him.  so i filled in all the gaps because my brain has worms.  theres a little bit of the story that verges on fantasy (that he’s some sort of messiah messenger for “the infinites,” whatever the fuck THAT means, david) so i nix that because i prefer hard scifi.  and theres one BIG part that i just ... deleted out of his canon, in that the world is ending in 5 years in his timeline, and he’s like ... aware of this ?  but that’s dumb and confusing.  i legit dont care anymore. my OC now.

SELL YOUR MUSE! Aka try to list everything, which makes your muse interesting in your opinion to make them spicy for your mutuals.  —  im so embarrassed i know i could be genuine and actually try but i have brain blockajjolajlakala33lak33klak333ak3jka3akjj323j3 i guess it’s like ... ziggy is truly the ultimate expression OF humanity because he reveals everything both wrong and right about the human condition, he literally embodies the best of humanity and the worst at the same time, he’s a really interesting critique on the idea of genuineness/earnestness vs commercalism in art, the perils of fame, and also how humans are so inherently corrupting?  a lot of thematic stuff i like exploring is like what is innate to humans vs what is learned behavior, what are things that humans do naturally that ziggy mimics out of his desire to be like us?  i think he has a really good story arc -- he went from being a literal nameless CLONE in a society full of pragmatic forward thinking science-oriented people to a sell out rockstar celebrity in a society of people that value individualism and self expression and art, but in the process completely lost his mind and himself and gave into the worst that humanity has to offer like rampant selfishness, drug abuse, self destructive tendencies, etc. characters changing is always interesting and ziggy truly changes for the worse -- but he is never just black and white, he was never good and then suddenly evil, he just was always the same person putting on different facades and trying to be himself by constructing an identity that maybe was who he wanted to be versus who he actually is.  i dont know what im talking about. hes just an alien trying to be too hard to be human in all the wrong ways.   i just like how “gray” ziggy is. he isnt good or bad, he can be very nice and he can be very mean, he’s overtly showboating confident but at the same time deeply afflicted with self-consciousness (why tf else would anyone be So obsessed with how they present themselves?).  hes an icon of individualism but also commercialism.  he’s freakishly alien but is almost more human than humans themselves.  he struggles as lot in his head -- which makes for interesting writing, i guess !!  Im so emabrrased im not going to go back and read what i wrote so if i typoed dont look at me

Now the OPPOSITE, list everything why your muse could not be so interesting (even if you may not agree, what does the fandom perhaps think?).  —  i think ziggy comes across as really mean and nothing else.  his horrible bitchy rudeness comes across as hee hee hoo hoo sassy isnt he a rascal when it’s supposed to be more like ... he’s so far gone into the celebrity delusion he’s conflated aggressive rudeness with charmingness because no one told him otherwise and everyone worships him to the point where he’s just given into the delusion that he can do no wrong.  i think theres the general simplification problem that happens with a lot of fictional characters, it’s easy to see him as just a whacky sassy glittery quirky rockstar when i guess it avoids the inherent tragedy of like ... everything else about him. his totally fake and false sense of identity built up from superficial things like fame and labels and stardom.  maybe my version of ziggy is just too weirdly depressing and sad when i know his original iteration wasn’t quite so ... grim.  im not very sure tbh.  

What inspired you to rp your muse?  —  hmmm ... a lot of things! i just really got into b*wie stuff in early 2019, i’ve ALWAYS loved aliens and sci-fi, and i was really shocked that db sets up such great visual storytelling potential but does it through music.  i just really liked ziggys “story” and i like any chance to think about aliens so i just got invested into piecing together a little backstory for him using, like, the cumulative knowledge of literally every other piece of science fiction ive ever consumed in my life.  this was summer 2019 when i was making initial pitches for my thesis film, and so i just randomly decided to pitch “animated version of ziggy stardust” as one of the potential ideas.  shockingly everyone liked it a lot and so did my professor who thought it was really cool, and then i just ended up sticking with the character and working on him for an entire year.  ziggy became my hobby but also my homework.  he was such a fun character because everything about him was interesting to me and i had just enough source material to have a starting point but so much room to take him in any direction i wanted to.

What keeps your inspiration going?  —  honestly, yooooou guyssssss. i have some really amazing fwends that ive met thru here .... and some of our dumb stupid stories have literally become NOVEL length. it just self generates inspiration because you realize the limitless amount of stories you could tell with this one single character when your character enters his story or he enters their story and etc. etc.  ive drawn endless amounts of comics and stuff for him ... ziggy is just so endlessly interesting ...   cringe be cringed bro but recently (i know this sounds dumb bear with me or die.) ive kind of realized a lot of how i rp z comes as some metaphor for the experience of being an asian immigrant/being asian in the US -- his home “culture” is a lot stricter than the rampant selfish individualism of the usa (he only lives in the uk and usa, so he thinks the whole planet is like this), he’s dissuaded from standing out from his community and his selfishness becomes a community burden rather than a personal flaw, and when he does come to earth, he goes through such awful culture shock, literally nothing makes sense to him and everything is Different.  and while some things are different in a Nice way, something things are different in an Awful way, and he’s given the option between losing his true personal identity as an atominan and giving it up to be a human.  the allure of being a human is a little too much but losing yourself like this is traumatic, in a way.  obvs like ... a little silly and definitely not something that i actively intended to put into his story arc, its just something that fell into place cuz i guess i worked so closely with my own personal experiences and feelings of “alienation” (pun intended) to try to understand how he would feel being a literal alien an shid. its cathartic to write about him. but he also has a lot of my own personal interests just thrown in -- 70s fashion, scifi, science, tryhard implications about human nature, art history, whatever dumb nonsense i get into

Some more personal questions for the mun.

Give your mutuals some insight about the way you are in some matters, which could lead them to get more comfortable with you or perhaps not.

Do you think you give your character justice?  YES / NO / SOMETIMES?

Do you frequently write headcanons?  YES / NO  [ i would prefer information to spring up organically in the story but cuz threads always get dropped i end up just telling people outright. i didnt want anyone to know his home planet/his old name but barely anyone writes enough with ziggy to get to that point to reveal it (i legit managed to do it organically Once) so i just had to write it in a post lmao orz ]

Do you sometimes write drabbles?  YES / NO [ wrote a ton of drabbles ! drew a ton of comics! ]

Do you think a lot about your Muse during the day? YES / NO 

Are you confident in your portrayal?   YES / NO / I DUNNO?

Are you confident in your writing?  YES / HAHA NO.

Are you a sensitive person?  YES  / NO. / IDK ? 

Do you accept criticism well about your portrayal?  —  definitely!  like i said ... my version of ziggy ended up being the protag of my thesis film and for 1 yr straight his characterization, backstory, design, and even how i wanted to animate his fucking movements (ziggy stardust timing charts.) were beaten to death in a classroom environment, torn apart and rebuilt into something better.  had i stayed with what i originally wanted to go with, ziggy would be so different than how i write him 2day. amazingly my pre production professor is a literal two time emmy award winning storyboard artist and animator so he definitely helped me design him (my version of ziggy is meant for ... a cartoon, obviously, not real life) and give him a better backstory?  and my post production professor is a retired disney animator who worked on hercules and a bunch of old disney channel shows?  had i gone wah wah wah i dont want to hear ur critiques i wouldnt have made him better.  if you ever think ziggy seems inconsistent or poorly written ... tell me !! i literally major in ... animation. cartoons. entertainment.  my job is to entertain you. if you are not entertained, there is a problem.  ARE YOU NOT ENTERTAINED ????

Do you like questions, which help you explore your character?  —  I LOVE QUESTIONS? i love ... answering questions ... if you ask me something ill come kiss you.

If someone disagrees to a headcanon of yours, do you want to know why?  —  sure! i dont know why that would happen, though, because i mean ... he’s an OC. but i gues someone could be like “i feel like this is incongruous to things you’ve previously established in his character” or somethin

If someone disagrees with your portrayal, how would you take it?  —  i feel like a lot of b*wie stans would find my version of ziggy weird but i mean thats fine!  i guess my goal is to have a well written character, not necessarily an accurate version of ziggy

If someone really hates your character, how do you take it?  —  if you hate MY version of ziggy thats fine but if u hate ziggy stardust in general (like the bowie concept) then u need some taste what the fuck is cooler than a egomaniac genderless bisexual rockstar alien with red hair? nothing. go back to watching your CW shows you dirty filthy normie

Are you okay with people pointing out your grammatical errors?  —  yes! dm me though. dont clown me on the dash like that.  i usually write your replies 12 AM - 4 AM so it’s expected.

Do you think you are easy going as a mun?   —  hmmm ... maybe! i do like to talk to people and i am VERY nice, trust me, if youre ever sad ill do everything i can to make you feel better. but im quiet! i dont really reach out to people and i tend to just keep to myself.  im not very social or extroverted at all haha i barely can make ooc posts without feeling like god’s coming to beat my head in with a brick. im sitting here at 5:30 AM with this meme feeling like if i post it i will die (BUT I MUST)

[coldasyou]

Hello and welcome to my thoughts ™ on the new episode of the good doctor! I know you are all DYING to hear them so let’s go.

We love an opening that references season 1 episodes! (Added to my gif list)

Is lea implying her family was poor ugh icon

Poor Shaun he deserves better

Claire and Shaun aren’t together I really can never win

I’m screaming grey’s anatomy really took all the good paitent storylines rip

MORGAN NO ASKING QUESTIONS TO THE PAITENTS SHAUN GOT TRANSFERED FOR THAT SHIT!

Killed someone this show has lost it

Ugh skip

They’re really just throwing out brain scans as if those doesn’t cost thousands of dollars paitents can’t afford that

The scalpel is back THE LEVELS the show said if we’re going back to season 1 storylines we’re doing it all…does this mean Shaun and Claire can act like they did in season 1 and actually talk?

CARLYYYYYYY fucking finally this really is a season one throwback and we get a last name

She is so sweet

And she is talking to Shaun can Claire come hang out too

Me too Shaun me too

Ugh this is why I’m a humanities person

IM SCREAMING leave Claire the fuck alone

Morgan was so quick to be like “SO YOU HATE EVERYONE WHO BELIEVES IN GOD HMMM” breznik feelings canceled until they have a cute glance again

I’m already annoyed with this plotline

Claire is talking to ******** more than she talked to Shaun last episode shaire stans remain the MOST oppressed

WHY DOES EVERYONE ON THIS SHOW HAVE CANCER???

Can I call Claire an atheist icon now? If they make her change her beliefs I’m gonna be annoyed lmao. I think there can be some middle ground here y’all

I relate to all this Catholic Guilt ™ tho

Park needs to stop acting like he gives a shit lmao

Park stop fucking stirring the pot since when did YOU care

Ugh it’s hard only stanning four ppl on this show

Can someone PLS just threaten to sue Han or leak this to the press lmao problem solved you’re welcome

How iconic would it be if lim was just like “I’m autistic. Are you going to transfer me too?”…LISTEN SHE IS AUTISTIC

I was right Claire looks beautiful

How can you afford all these surgeries I’m yelling

Who is being poisoned with cyanide I’m screaming can we pls have a show abt pathology and Carly and not these boring ass plots we’ve been getting

NEXT TIME I love one (1) man

CLAIRE YESSS FIGHT FOR YOUR HUSBAND

She deserves better I’m tired of everyone talking down to her

SHE IS A LOYAL FRIEND AND ALSO GIRLFRIEND AND ALSO WIFE

I’m screaming can we pls have her go talk to Shaun abt all this and promise she’ll fight for him or is that to much to ask

The ableism is jumping out

IM SCREAMING DID YALL JUST COMPARE AUTISM TO THE FLU???

Han is why men don’t have rights

Claire is the queen of being right while everyone else is dumb af

Oh this lady damn everyone is coming back this episode!

Glassman she’s dating someone why are you so Dense

Is this gonna be like a Brennan from bones situation where everyone keeps pushing religion on Claire when she doesn’t want it I’m already tired

And another thing she just thinks he shouldn’t suffer for god she never said she didn’t think he should believe

But enjoy projecting your shit on her Morgan!

Lim is the only bitch in this house I respect

Honestly probably not bc Claire isn’t allowed to have anything either!

So we got Shaun talking abt Claire but in this way WHYYYYY

just let them be happy together I hate this

Clarie’s hair looks amazing

Claire is a hockey fan…the gay jumped out

What is Shaun doing I stan it tho

Oh NOW glassman will talk to him

Well I mean Shaun has been right abt like 90 other cases

Glassy you’re so fucking annoying remember when you were all abt helping Shaun lmao

HE HAS STOOD UP FOR HIMSELF AND THEN HE GETS IN TROUBLE YALL ARE TESTING ME

Shaun is so honest ixhxjsuswhhaa

Oh the loophole Jessica taught him well

Shaun that’s like…probably illegal but that’s okay

I wonder when the whole quarantine issue is gonna go down

Shaun yess now bring out those illustrations

Han is just gonna steal his idea pretends to be shocked

God these episodes kinda drag when you aren’t live-blogging and reading jokes

I know they’re married irl but she looks so young compared to him

Yeah lady he always pushes ppl away get used to it

Anyone else feel glassman has become intolerable this season?

Claire is so smart queen of religious studies

Okay this show isn’t going the route of Claire being converted or singled out as a bitch or bitter…we will proceed cautiously

Morgan is so fucking nosey you are loosing all the goodwill I gave you

Also just say atheist I’m screaming???

Ofc bc everyone who doesn’t believe in god is broken and empty and secretly hates themselves LOVE that for me!

I’m screaming the girl is like Oh Worm

Han is so annoying get a JOB

King of boundaries!

Are y’all gonna start shipping lim and Shaun now bc I’m not ready

Good work I’m still not gonna put u back in surgery tho

He’s so close to crying I’m abt to mcfucking loose it

Freddie is coming for the Emmy

Kinda wanna d*e

HAN JUST SHUT THE FUCK UP IM BEGGING!

Allistics have lost their rights

Wow it’s almost like everyone has weaknesses including you doctor Han and yet you’re still here

Can a show just have a charecter that’s not religious it doesn’t have to be like a THING I’m tired

Oof the cinnamon tography

SCALPEL I’m gonna cry can we get a flashback now?

Steve didn’t die for this

overall Thots: han can choke, needs more shaire, when will lea be allowed to talk to someone who isn’t shaun or glassy, claire deserves better, carly should have her own show, morgan is on the shit list again, park is still irrelevant…6/10 

[silencedtechnophile]

==> Do something about it

The ship hummed around him in the darkness. Something, somewhere, was beeping near the meat puppet hung in the rigging that limited his abilities with a biological bottle neck. His head was so fuzzy. Which is what they wanted. He was too smart, they knew what kind of damage he could do if he werent forcefully throttled. 

He worked slowly. The plan had come to him in an instant, as he'd gotten encouragement from the helm chat. He could do something. He could affect his situation. He was not fucking helpless, he refused to be.

First he carefully hacked into the mediboard that controlled his blood chemistry. He fiddled around with it so its output would remain steady, but it would cease giving him the brain fogging drugs.

That took a while to make it out of his system, every moment of it afraid someone would draw a random blood draw to double check the mediboard, though that was passingly rare. They trusted their equipment.

As his head cleared his body began to hurt, he had a sudden more complete awareness of the agony of the living wires burrowed under his skin, and the way his shoulders were wreched and taking all his weight.

He had to adjust the output again to smooth out his heart beat so they wouldn't be alerted.

Pain was fine. He could deal with pain, he could think and that was what mattered right now in this moment. Blessed clear thoughts. Every moment he delayed was a moment his gamble might be discovered so he worked quickly, spoofing his address from outside the ship while he expanded his own permissions. HE could open and close doors, he could even open and close airlocks, but he wasn't trusted with them.

He wormed his way into the controls, granting himself admin powers at the root level.

Then he just had to wait.

This was the part he had the least control over. Her movements.

Now that he'd given himself root acess and no longer needed the clarity to hack the ships permissions he left the door he'd created open, and went back in to fix his medications and outputs back the way they had been, by the time he had his opertunity he would be fully drugged again, they wouldn't be able to tell it was him. ------------------ Being the Empress had its perks. No waiting in lines, getting to take par in destruction and culling without consequences, running fleets of ships, not having to tolerate any mischief, being feared and respected by everyone at default. But most importantly? Not having to do shit unless you want to. This is one thing Meenah took advantage of as much as possible. If she didn’t have to get up and go somewhere to get something done, why would she?

In her younger years, the idea of taking the throne had caused her nothing but annoyance and disgust. Being taken care of like a wriggler, being responsible for a planet full of easily influenced and hasty trolls. Taking care of her lusus indefinitely, and having to personally feed her each night. Making a quick and not very discreet exit from her original planet had been a great decision. She’s stood by it since it happened, all those sweeps ago in an universe that never quite fit to her tastes. Being born there had felt like a cruel joke once she knew what she had missed out on.

So when she had spawned here some number of sweeps ago, she had been horrified. Devastated. They won and she, as always, got absolutely shafted by the universe. That is... until she took a good look around and evaluated her situation. Beforus had been a little pond, full of toothless guppies. And she had been a shark, unable to even turn around in the limited space. But Alternia? Alternia was a vast sea, with plenty of prey to sink her teeth into and depths to claim as her own. It was as if this gift universe was molded for her, a refined combination of two planets and the two lives she had lived through. The best part was that she had gotten to float over the hard parts, the initial rise to power and the conquering and culling of her personified roadblocks. The endless cycle of teaching her throneworld to submit.

There’s no shame in admitting she’s fully enjoyed the spoils of her new life, entirely content with trading a few sweeps for her position. Hell, she was a tyrian. There were plenty of sweeps to spare, she would do it again.

Which led to this, a three night streak of kicking up her feet in her own block on the flagship. The Battleship Condescention.

Okay, fine, maybe she should have been doing something more important than catching up on dramatic cinema when there was a rebellion to stomp out with her boot. But things were fine. They were starting to close in on the short, mouthy, ship thief. Her biggest potential problem was nice and cozy some number of floors below her, tucked into his ports and wires like a wriggler to coon. And no one else was stepping up to oppose her. Even the most powerful and feared leaders of societies had to take a break, let the tide ease them out.

Of course, all good things come to an end. This time, it’s the portable communications device implanted into her tiaratop. Already missing her makeshift getaway, she flicked a claw against the gold and her features were illuminated by the live footage of one of her on hand advisors. She scowled at him, lip jutted out and pierced brows raised to put emphasis on her annoyance. “We got a, y’know, a problem.” He grunted, the last word coming out like pr-ah-bl-im. “Sum’thin’ funny, ‘kay. Minor. We’re handling it, swear it ma’am. Got someone on the f’rewalls, set that right. But...”

When the purple hued troll went on to explain, she was furious. Someone had managed to nudge at their security systems and give them a test and it took them a few nights to tell her? Her pan whirled to the worst and most paranoid conclusion. Someone from their session, probably that infuriating time wench or the pirate enthusiast, maybe a turnaround from her own Makara if he’d been fully awakened in their new planet.

She stormed about to get ready, pan immediately set to force her commandeered pissblood battery to help her track down and eliminate the source. If her goons couldn’t get the job done, he was going to do it for them.

“Soon as I grill this guppy, you’re gettin’ sautéed. Fried.” Meenah, better known as the Condesce, set her focus entirely on a stomping beeline for the exit and her threatening tangent. “Pike it or not, best get ya’ affairs in order. Boat t’ sea what the pointy end a’ my golden prod ‘eels like embedded in ya’ b’ass. No shrimp-athy for the in-conch-petent, set a bet’a example for the school.”

The door to her block opened with quiet ‘swish!’ as she took her first step out. And then another. Somewhere, a number of clicks below stationed near the central engines, a troll was probably filled with justifiable anger and excitement. With the Empress there was nothing but the light, sharp sound of her heeled boots in the metal corridor paired with the rough undertone to her flurry of words. The advisor on the other end of her video chat cowered, sputtering excuses as she glared down her defined cartilage nub at him. “And if you e’fin conch-sea-der tryin’ to catch a wave trout’a here, I ain’t mako-in it snappy.” She continued her tirade, satisfied by the way the other troll’s eyes went wide and his jaw slid open. “Yeah, that’s moray p’ike it. Best get ya-shelf practicin’ on a look a’ ray-morse.”

“Actually,” he started, gaze averted to the light over the airlock behind her. It blinked red once, yellow twice, and began to shift to green. “I think -“

“Clam it, small fry!” She stopped her determined march to point a claw at him, as if he were really a few feet ahead of her. “Can’t bay-lieve ya’ got the swimmers to gab at me, blowin’ bubbles slap full a’ bullshark.”

Just behind her, the light held steady at green. The advisor stumbled in his warning, horrified and relieved and stalled by his shock as her hair whipped away from her face and her words trailed off. There’s a second where the familiar sound of the airlock opening seemed to halt time. Meenah looked over her shoulder, and then to the projected feed of the lower blooded troll. For the first time in sweeps, she barked a laugh. And then? “Son of a’ eldritch pailin’ bitch.” She bared her impressive chompers, fins flared backwards in her surprise, disbelief, and pure offense that someone has made an attempt on her life. The tyrian scrambled to dig her claws into the metal wall beside her, a cringe worthy noise produced when they drag through the reinforced metal. “You gotta be krillin’ -“

“Maybe if -“

In what might be the most anticlimactic turntables of a story ever, the airlock smoothly opens the rest of the way. Sweeps in the past, there is a time traveling maroon blooded, grudge obsessed troll glancing through the ages and chortling at a joke no one will understand much less believe. The seadweller’s yellow painted claws dig and clip away in a desperate swing at survival. The hatches to the other blocks through the stem are sealed shut, and whatever artificial air was being released dissipated the minute the immediate area was exposed to space. Meenah had a moment, maybe two, to reflect on the mistakes that led her here. Putting an airlock directly outside the door to her block, entirely for the purpose of disposing of any unwanted visitors. Not once considering that someone might turn this around on her, or capitalize on her desire for the dramatic. Leaving her block using her balancing prongs at all, when a transportalizer would have been safer and faster - but would ultimately have lacked in the build-up of intensity and hostility that a chance to strut and lament and publicly humiliate and shortly thereafter kill her most recent workplace pest. If she had more time, she might have thought of a few more excuses to shift the blame a bit.

Including, but not limited to: This Must Entirely Be Megido’s Fault And Here Is Why, the three part series of essays assembled by Meenah Peixes. Or the potential ways Aranea could have somehow subverted death and the fate of their session altogether to somehow ruin the one fun thing she has EVER had the chance to do, seriously, what a Jealous Jude. Or maybe this is the fault of the younger Vantas, who mysteriously fell into her lap around a sweep ago and... well, he was disappointing as a whole until he managed to actually do a backflip off of the handle and body his way out of holding.The diversion of resources from the facility had been an oversight, and the cause of it was promptly replaced and reassigned to dinner duty. A more appealing way to refer to the main course.

Any of those things could have led to this, but none of them did. All the time in the world, and she likely never would have thought her laziness would play a part in her downfall.

It did, though. The metal peeled away from the support column, and the lurching movement broke her grip. It was inevitable. Meenah tried to yelp out a curse, perhaps one last bit of defamation for her last words, but nothing actually came from her throat. Her lips twisted and her expression caught somewhere between anger and fear. The last thought to coherently hit her ends with ‘- and this bucket of chum is the last thing I get my peepers on, really?’ as she wS forcibly removed from the flagship and sent careening into space.

A few blocks and a couple lifts away, the flabbergasted advisor had already dispatched armed forces. Not that it mattered, he decided. The connection to the tiratop flickers more and more as she departs, but the image of his frozen taskmaster tells him there’s no rescuing from that.

Her skin was flaking with ice, fins back and shining tyrian as they stretched, thin eyes obscured by the ice on her lashes, teeth exposed from where she tried to get the last word. The sight of her being quickly and surprisingly easily dispatched hadn’t left him hopeful for saving her, and the last glimpses of her expression deterred him from even attempting to recover her corpse.

The Empress was dead.

[changji]

Wow you really went off the other day but at least it was worth it 😪 I normally look at the scenery when I’m on a road trip, but then I get bored of it and decide to sleep bc there’s nothing else to do. Motion sickness must suck :(( do you take gravol or something to help with it? Coffee literally drains the life out of my funds it hurts me

Yes omg pls make me cookies I love them. Maybe you can even open a bakery with pastries and sell some good /cheap/ coffee. Ilyt my dear baker 🥺 ye I’m not the biggest fan of my bday either but gotta celebrate anyway!! One year closer to death woohoo 🎉🎉 your birthday is the most important day of the year!!! You can’t fight me on this I’m right

Pearls are so good. Like most places I go to don’t add anything to the pearls so it’s just bland squishy balls but the place I frequent adds I think honey to sweeten them. It gives the pearls life istg. It tastes so good 🤤 hollering is a funny word. For some reason I always associate it with yodelling which makes me laugh

Ksks you must be op if you can make a joke in the wall with a door slam. I can’t relate my arms are literally sticks and I have no strength in me. Chrome books are terrible in general. Add my schools terrible wifi and you get one big recipe for disaster. I’d never fight u either (unless it’s for your bday) ily too much for that 🥺🥺🥺

Hahah I think it’s me. I haven’t heard anyone say “go ham” except for the people who go to my school. I find it really funny tho so I try to incorporate it whenever I can LOL easily burnt? Can’t relate but apparently I easily tan. There’s this one diagonal stripe on my shoulder that separates pale me and tan me which ??? How did that happen and what was I wearing for that to happen??

It’s all fun and games until you go outside and see a mountain of snow waiting for you to be shovelled. But there are some good aspects to winter, like skating and skiing and all that fun stuff. Snow is so heavy?? Or maybe I’m just weak but after I finish shovelling I’m beat. Gardening is not my thing. There’s too many bugs involved flying around 🥴

Kind of? I always thought it was short for cappuccino but I could be wrong. They don’t taste like fraps tho, they’re sm better. I was always a frap hoe until I discovered lattes. My old elementary school was close to a Starbucks so whenever frappy hour was happening, my friends and I would go almost every day LOL

I heard that dunkin coffee is really good. Oof there’s so many things that the us have that Canada doesn’t. But apparently you guys don’t have ketchup chips?? How can one live without them? You know that’s what soulmates are, we’re stuck together forever and I don’t mind that. I’d never leave you 😌😌

YES OMG LATTES ARE SO EXPENSIVE. I pay around the same amount and my wallet cries every time. If you ever yeet yourself off a bridge I’d come visit u in hell and bring u iced coffee 💖 we really are soulmates wtf I get almond milk in my lattes as well!! I used to get normal milk and was like “I’m a bad bitch milk can’t hurt me” but that didn’t really work out. Sigh what we do for coffee 😔

Washing dishes is disgusting. I hate doing them but yk someone’s gotta do it and that someone is me 😤 I’m acc lazy when it comes to smoothies, I usually ask my mom to make them LMAO. Pancakes are pretty much made of flour if you think about it so technically when u eat one plain ur eating cooked flour,, how barbaric. Waffles are Built. Like. They have a 20 pack 😪😪

I love angst personally so pls go ham but not too ham I’d like to keep my heart. Honestly at this point my last brain cell has given up on me. But yes I love angst and I love torturing myself with heart wrenching angst that leaves me crying into my pillow at 3am (I’m talking about this one haikyuu fic that I forgot the name of. I was literally dying inside jalsjwo)

Pls do send me peet’s I’ll send you an iced capp in a cooler so it’ll be somewhat melted and probably spilt everywhere 🤪 tumblrs probably gonna block me again, I’m looking at how much I’ve typed rn and it’s a lot lmaoo. Yes I managed to save myself. I redid the whole last with less detail bc I was not Having It but it turned out better?? How is ur drawing now?

I start after labour day in September. But starting in 3 weeks?????? On a Thursday?? I could never wtf. When do you end? I’m so confused with these ap and honours thing, like there’s none offered in my school nor majority of the school district. Are they just advanced classes or something? It is 7 classes a semester or the whole year?

Stan talent i think you meant yourself??? Jsjsksk I am not only ur coffee soulmate I’m not #1 fan as well and I support u bc ily 🥺🥺 the read more tag had me laughing for a hot minute. Like we really could make an essay out of all of our replies. I don’t have any pets (besides fish does that count?) unfortunately bc my moms allergic to fur 🥺 hbu?? (I can’t believe tumblr blocked me again they can fight me)

-

i didn’t even pay LOL i freeloaded off my cousin 🤧 i like to look @ scenery sometimes but like i can’t bc my head hurts LOL and the scenery is always the same for me, mountains and fields with cows. i try to take dramamine but it makes me so drowsy that i’m just basically dead,,, i live off of my cousins money so i’m okay 🤪

tbh i use nestle toll house pre made cookie dough, like that shit actually slaps. it’s the best it’s so good omg, perfect for lazy hoes 🤧 death here we go ! the order is ur bday, then skz debut date, and then christmas i don’t make the rules sorry sis 😤

pearls are Dangerous, i once drank a smoothie and there were pearls in it and i couldn’t see them bc there were like. only 3 and they were Buried under the smoothie but i choked and almost died but i chewed one of them and it’s like. so weird. HOLLERING AND YODELING IM- i once went to some public yodeling class and left in 2 seconds bc it was a bunch of white boys dressed like the kid from walmart 😪

it’s not even strength i’m actually rly weak,, i always think the doors are closed but they’re not and so i like slam them open and the walls are thin so it’s just. a sad hole. terrible wifi,, my school has pretty good wifi tbh but we have like three connections, one for the chrome books only, one for the teachers & staff, and one for students and guests. like it works rly good but everyone has a VPN bc of stupid social media restrictions 😤 & ilyt 🥺 u would probably win in a fight tho LOL

go ham is so interesting. the first time i heard it i thought it meant go pig and i was so confused but ig,,, i live lathered in sun screen whenever i go somewhere with the sun. ppl are like “i smell sun screen” and im just there like 🙃 it’s me u got a problem u burnt chicken nugget ??? i wish i tanned easily, i have a tan friend and when i showed her when my legs got tan she was so confused. i thought i was tan tho? bc during marching band season my sock tan becomes So Bad i’m basically white. she said she was blinded when she saw me pull my sock down and i laughed so hard LOL & i hate those dumb random tan lines like. where u @ bro? where u come from??

snow is fun for like a day and then i get tired LOL i csn only handle wet socks and a red nose for so long 😔 i tried skiing one time and i did so bad that the instructor had to hold me down and walk with me down the slope. i fell so many times i think he hated me 😳 i’m also rly bad at skating? i went w my friends once and i held both of their hands and still managed to bring both of them down when i fell. a cute guy once helped me when i was struggling to walk so 🥴 not my brightest moment tbh,, trying to walk in skates while on ice. do u enjoy skiing/skating? also gardening is. gross. worms and dirt and the sun i’m not here for it.

u: cappuccinos! me: ...ice bergs,,, now that i think about it fraps kinda suck,,, i used to think i was So Cool for drinking starbucks but now i’m like. wow. i used to think there was coffee in a frap but it’s just. sugar and ice LOL also speaking of tmrw is bogo fraps here,, idk if it’s all over the world but myb u should check it out 😪

dunkins okay it depends on what you get, i once got an iced latte and it was good but my dad got an iced coffee and he like. hated it so we had to switch and it was so bad like. it was coffee crime. it was horrible and not strong it was basically milk 😤 also,, ketchup chip? i just googled what that was and. that’s literally so weird. fun fact i hate ketchup and all other condiments i can only eat bbq sauce and i tolerate steak sauce

UR LITERALLY SO CUTE OKAY UR MINE NOW HHHH

i mentioned this in the other ask but. we going broke bitches club 😪 when u come visit me it’ll be old town road the one w mason ramsey on a loop. nothing will top the og remix but no, i’ll be stuck listening to some 5 year old rap for all of eternity

I USED TO BE SUCH A GOOD KID AND DRINK MILK EVERY MORNING ever since i got to middle school i preferred sleep over waffles and milk and i hardly drink milk but when i do. my stomach does not have it.

my mom made me wash dishes today and she just stared at me when i put ziploc bags on my hands bc we didn’t have gloves but i just painted my nails and i’m not abt to put myself thru chipped nails. not yet 😤 waffles are so good like i love waffles and lattes only 🤧

well i’ll go very ham (am i doing it right LOL) 😤 the angst ending is a lot better than the open ended or happy ones LOL i’m so excited for it 🥺 i’m rly tryna get it out before the end of this month bc the edit says july and it’ll make me Mad if i don’t get it out before the end of this month

i wanna start in september 🤧 and i usually end in the first week of june. also on a wednesday LOL it’s gross. stupid. ap means advanced placement so it’s just. a college level class. lowkey mad bc i’m taking ap euro (as a sophomore 😒) and other schools take it in their senior years? apparently this is normal? and honors are just faster paced classes with more weighting so,, idrk oops 😬 some people take 7 classes in a semester but i took it for the whole year! this year i’m dropping orchestra i’m Not for that spit in the carpet life

the only talent in this house goes by ada and jisung. i don’t make the rules. i’m ur #1 fan 🥺 as soon as u post anything i automatically smash that rb button LOL also put a read more here bc like. we’re really out here writing a whole ass essay. i’ll look @ all our convos bet it’ll be like. a lot. i don’t wanna say smth and be off so i’ll just not. i have a dog! he’s the cutest in the world and i love him sm 🥺 tumblr can fight me first like. what’s this ask limit bull hhhhh