#but i have had this experience with couple of my friends recently and it's pissing me off

[psy-ay-ay]

i think my controversial therapy opinion as someone who has regular therapy sessions twice a month is that it's less hurtful to deal with someone who just doesn't believe that therapy works at all than someone who wholeheartedly supports you when you are seeking therapy but if you see them having trouble and suggest therapy they act like they don't need it at all

[smutoperator]

Noona's Birthday Gifts

Kim Taeyeon, Yu Jimin (Karina) x Male Reader, Friend

Part of Legends series

Tags: anal, birthday party, body fluids, bush, cheating, (a lot of) cock-sucking, (plenty of) cursing, double penetration, experience vs youth, facial, (many) female orgasms, foursome, golden shower, jealousy, monster cocks, NILF, piss drinking, prone bone, recording, riding, queefing, squirting, surprise creampie, sweaty, titfucking

Word count: 10059.

For nearly 17 years, Taeyeon has been one of the most beloved entertainment personalities in Korea. And it has been no different this year, as she has already scored yet another massive hit with "To. X." As she turns 35 years old, many come to congratulate her. But amidst all those celebrations, there was only one person she truly wanted to notice it.

"Happy birthday to the King, or should I say, to Korea's best slut," you tell her. Taeyeon smiles and takes it as a compliment. You two have a lot of history, as you've been her go-to guy for her sexcapades since her solo debut over 8 years ago. "So what do you have for me on this special occasion?" she asks. "Something very special; come to this place and you'll see it," you reply to her.

You give Taeyeon the address of an abandoned warehouse. It doesn't sound like the most inviting place for a birthday party, but you already have everything set up, including a very special guest. If it was any other guy, especially on her birthday, Taeyeon would tell him to fuck off. After all, no one tells her what to do or where to go. But not you; she knows you've always been a step ahead since the first time you met her.

As Taeyeon arrives at the warehouse, a second car is right beside her with another guest, a tall young girl with big tits that she knows very well.

"So you are the special guest," Taeyeon says to Karina. "Yes, unnie," she replies. "My guy really wants me to corrupt a so-called innocent girl, but I think you've been corrupted a long time ago. You even got the dispatch dating exposé. That truly means you made it. Welcome to the club. If you need any help, just call me." Taeyeon knows it well, as Karina has recently been exposed for dating, just like she did 10 years ago, yet just a few days later she's already cheating on him and hoping no paparazzi cameras see her.

As the two enter the warehouse, it turns out you have made a lot of changes to it, turning it into a very cozy space for the two to enjoy. You were at the back of it alongside your friend, as you let Taeyeon talk to Karina first and let her overcome her shyness and nervousness at the moment. "Just follow my lead," Taeyeon told her. Taeyeon was already turned on by the whole set-up; turning Karina into a dirty, filthy slut would be something she definitely wasn't expecting for her birthday. You never fail to deliver her the best surprises, don't you?

Taeyeon already looked naugthly at you and your friend, who were shirtless. But she wasn't looking at your well-defined torso but rather at the massive bulge under both of your shorts. Both eight and a half inches, the best she's ever taken. It was double the size of Karina's boyfriend, so she was eager to see how the young girl would take it herself. Her and Karina whispered at each other's ears, talking about your amazing physical features but especially about that boner under your pants.

"Sex with him is so good; I'll do anything for him," Taeyeon told Karina, getting her excited. She spoke from a lot of built-on experience. After so many years, you guys had developed an amazing chemistry that was unmatched even by real couples. If one day Taeyeon decided on the facade of getting married, you'd be her de facto husband. Since the day you two met, Taeyeon hasn't missed a single week without having sex with you, even in her busiest times.

Taeyeon already feels the heat burning under her dress. She's wearing no panties because she knows she won't need them today. After ignoring her for a while, you finally stared at her face, pouring some oil on your torso. "Ready for some slicky party, Tae?" she asked you. "I was born ready," she replied. You truly love Taeyeon's confidence. Women over 30 are just your thing. Their experience always leads to something very hot, and boy, does Taeyeon have a lot of it.

"Bring her to me." It may be Taeyeon's birthday, but your eyes first went to Karina. This was your first time with her, even though you had heard a lot about Karina already. Meanwhile, Taeyeon went to your friend while you looked at Rina's amazing baby-making body. 

Already paired, you two started kissing the girls right next to each other. You could already sense Karina was a very good kisser. Maybe she trained a lot with her boyfriend. Karina was more into romantic kisses, while Taeyeon was really sloppy, as your friend could tell, loving to sweep her tongue all over his mouth. Truly, she moved really fast. While you were still enjoying Karina, Taeyeon was already moving further down your friend's torso and already touching his clothed bulge.

As you started touching Karina close to her pussy, Taeyeon already had her ass out in the open as she lifted her dress. Your friend noticed and lifted it even further, with Taeyeon now naked from the waist down. You were much slower with Karina, getting to know her first as you moved around her stacked body. Your friend and Taeyeon had no such restraints, as you could already hear him slapping her ass as he grabbed her cheeks with both hands.

It took a while for you to undress Karina, but as soon as you did, you took her entire dress off in one go, even before your friend could do the same for Taeyeon. People weren't lying when they were talking about her body. Every inch of it is amazing. Of course, her boobs are the standout, but Karina also got perfect-toned legs and quite a nice ass to boost as well, alongside, of course, her goddess-like visuals.

Not even a couple seconds before getting Karina fully naked, and you're already sucking her tits like a baby, which you follow with some kisses and a nice grab of her ass, pushing her closer to you. Maenwhile, Taeyeon is teasing your friend, getting naked now from the boobs down until she finally lifts her arm to take her dress off. You can hear her typical smirk as she does so. Now both girls only have their sneakers on. If you and Karina enjoy themselves in a very slow manner, Taeyeon and your friend prefer instead a very fast-paced one, creating a great contrast between both couples.

Karina is the first to get on her knees, just as you start rubbing your clothed erection on her body. She easily takes your shorts off and reveals your already hard and swinging cock. Karina grabs it with amazement and starts working it into her mouth. You wonder if Taeyeon taught a thing or two to her because she gives you a great blowjob, already leaving your massive meat throbbing from the start and giving it multiple rocket punches with her mouth. You truly don't know where to look. Down low, Karina is sucking the soul out of you. In front of you, Taeyeon's tiny, naked frame is getting her ass grabbed nonstop by your friend.

"Suck it, suck it, baby," you tell Karina. As she continues her sexy blowjob, Taeyeon joins her and starts sucking your friend off. While Karina gives a very fast-paced blowjob, Taeyeon is now the one who goes slow, getting very sloppy with her mouth in your friend's cock. Karina rolls her eyes as your meat is too big for her to take fully in her throat. Taeyeon, on the other hand, slowly twists your friend's cock as she sucks his tip. The fast movement of Karina makes her boobs jiggle a lot, while Taeyeon teases your friend, dunking her head halfway into his length while firmly grabbing it with her left hand.

Karina spits all over your cock, trying to get it deeper in the throat. Menawhile, Taeyeon is already taking your friend's full length in her mouth, bobbing her head on it like a horny animal. You start fucking Karina's face as her eye-rolling gets more exaggerated, with her giving you a dumb-faced look. She clearly struggles; going from her boyfriend, who is 5 inches on a good day, to your massive 8 and a half proves to be quite the difference. What is basically a deepthroat with him only covers slightly half of your length.

While Karina coughs at each thrust you give her face, Taeyeon is already in full control of your friend's pole, throating it like a champion. His is just half an inch under yours, meaning her years of training on your meat turn his into an easy task for her. Both get sloppy, as they have saliva running down their chins all the way down to their chests, but while Karina moans like a sexy kitty, you barely hear anything from Taeyeon, who is fully concentrated like she always has been. Your friend fucks her face, yet she barely flinches. In the end, even with another big cock filling her needy hole, Taeyeon can't stop thinking of yours and feels a little jealous of Karina getting to suck it on her birthday.

Taeyeon and Karina continue to bob their heads on each cock. You can see from above that it takes a lot more effort for Rina than it does for your hot noona. But no big deal; she's gonna learn as time goes on. Karina, after all, was just a 7-year-old kid at the time Taeyeon started her career. Watching Taeyeon choke on your friend's meat gives you great memories from all those times you did that to her, but it also makes you appreciate that Karina is trying her very best against a truly legendary whore like her unnie.

You told Taeyeon this would be a very slick sex session, and she took it to heart, filling her chest with spit after gagging on your friend's cock. Not even 10 minutes in, and Taeyeon's body is already full of fluids. She uses her hands to rub them all over it. Her mouth gets repeatedly pounded, yet she keeps asking for more without even needing to say a word. "Yes, spit on it," your friend says, as he loves how messy Taeyeon is already getting.

The blowjob session continues for a while, as you keep taking it gently with Karina while Taeyeon gets messier with your friend's pole as each second passes by, rising to this special occasion like she has always done for her entire career. You gotta give props to your friend, because you remember when Taeyeon did this to you on her 30th birthday and you nutted all over her throat as your cock couldn't resist her sword-engulfing skills.

You call Taeyeon's attention as you guys swap partners. It's your turn to finally enjoy the birthday girl. The two continue to suck their partners' cocks as if they took no breaks, Karina with her firm and high-effort blowjob and Taeyeon with her sloppy mess of cock-sucking you always love to experience as she now dives under your balls and slows down and heats them up trying to get your pole even bigger, in contrast to Karina's high-energy blowjob of your friend.

Your friend gets too excited and tries to fuck Karina's face, just like he did Taeyeon's. Poor girl initially suffers as he grabs her hair and tries to shove his meat on her throat, but I guess yours was good enough training that she quickly adjusts to it. Meanwhile, Taeyeon keeps sucking you hard and deep as Karina gives your friend's shaft and balls some love. "You're so pretty sucking that cock," your friend compliments her.

"I want to see that dick reach 9 inches before you get it inside me," Taeyeon tells you as she keeps sucking your cock. Her dirty words turn you on even more. That woman knows how to be an amazing slut. You just keep pushing your whole blood to your cock, ready to give her the best gift you can for this special occasion, as she continues to take it sloppily on her throat. "What a beautiful fucking mouth!" you praise her as she smirks at you.

Taeyeon slaps your cock all over her face and bubbles on it with her sloppy mouth. You've seen it many times; she's activated her extreme cock-hungry slut mode. "Hmmmm yeah," Taeyeon sexily says as she turns her cheeks into a drum for your huge stick. "The best thing about my job is having such a big dick that's all mine," Taeyeon brags as you now fuck her face and grow bigger in her throat.

After a little more ball-sucking, Taeyeon is ready to jump towards nastier ventures. "Turn around," she asks as she dives her little head straight into your butt, licking your asshole like a maniac. "Is this the cake you wanted for your birthday?" you poke at her. On the other side, it's your friend's turn to get on his knees as she starts eating Karina's wonderful pink pussy.

"Ahhhh. Ahhhh." Karina sexily moans as your friend dives inside her perfect folds. Her fully shaved slit with closed outer lips contrasts with Taeyeon's wide-open meaty lips and the full bush she is spotting today, just like you prefer. Karina starts sweating all over her torso as she pushes your friend's head deeper into her vagina, softly moaning at each lick he gives her. "Yeah, it feels so good," she says using her soft voice, contrasting with Taeyeon's loud noises as she keeps choking on your cock.

Karina holds herself against one of the warehouse's pillars, her nipples getting fully erect as she prepares herself for an orgasm, cumming just as Taeyeon gags on your cock. As Karina's orgasming sounds take control of the room, Taeyeon continues to be a deranged whore who only cares about spitting as hard as she can on your cock. "Use me like a gloryhole," she says as you pop your cock in and out of her mouth.

You carry Taeyeon's tiny body towards a trio of gym mats on the other side of the warehouse, while Karina takes a bit longer to come in as her orgasm hasn't finished yet. You two get very touchy as Taeyeon moves her face up to kiss you while you run her hands all over her ass, giving her a little spank. If Taeyeon's little ass gets most of your attention, your friend can't help but be very touchy towards Karina's big tits, massaging them from behind as soon as she turns around and stops kissing him.

Taeyeon sets her sights on jerking your cock while your friend keeps fondling Karina's milk bags as she licks her chops and even gives him a little guidance on how to run his hands over her boobs. Rina is the first to get on her knees in the mats, ready to sit on your friend's big pole as he slaps it towards her entrance. As you and Taeyeon continue your long, sloppy cock-sucking session, Karina is already fully seated on your friend's cock, ready to ride it as her sexy moans go back to fill the room.

"Hmmm, you're a dirty girl," Taeyeon says as she diverts her attention towards Karina and enjoys watching her riding that dick in reverse cowgirl and how much her big boobs are already bouncing, reminding her of when the tall girl with big bouncy tits alongside her was her groupmate Seohyun. "Are you enjoying riding that dick like that?" Taeyeon asks Karina as she starts fingering her beautiful pussy. "Hmmmm yeah," Karina says in between moans, loving watching your friend's big cock disappear under her tight pink pussy.

"Stretch that tight young pussy," Taeyeon tells your friend as Karina freely bounces on it and reaches the full base of his cock. The thing she enjoys the most after taking a big dick herself is watching another girl do the same, which ramps up her eagerness to eleven. It isn't an easy ride for Karina as she closes her eyes while your friend's cock hits all the way up her cervix, but Taeyeon is there to praise the youngester and tell her to keep going. "You're doing well; don't stop," Taeyeon tells as she picks Karina's right boob to suck while letting the other one still freely jiggle.

As Taeyeon detaches from Karina and lets her bounce freely on your friend's cock, she already lines up her pussy and puts your cock in without even looking at you. Taeyeon is so experienced, she already knows everything about your erection, especially where it points. Her loose pussy offers little resistance to your 9-inch dick, and soon enough, your meat is already deep inside her. But once you're fully in, the recognizable warmth of her cunt can be immediately felt.

Taeyeon gets on all fours as she bounces on your cock. Even in a position like doggy, where the man is the dominant one, Taeyeon still manages to keep control. Her walls slowly grip your cock while your bulge pokes her skin around her navel. You try to grab Taeyeon's ass, but second thoughts come to your mind. "It's her birthday; she is gonna do whatever she wants," you say in your head between more and more moans from Karina, who's now getting fully impaled by your friend.

"I love that fucking pussy taking that dick all the way in," Taeyeon tells Karina, never missing a chance to praise the young girl for her efforts in taking both guys big cocks. You felt a little jealous as Taeyeon gave most of her attention to Karina than to you, but she couldn't help herself; her caring unnie instincts always appear on those occasions. "Nice ride," Taeyeon tells Karina, as she loves the way her tits bounce.

You push Taeyeon a little closer to you as your friend takes a break to slap his cock on Karina's pussy. "Oh fuck," Karina says as soon as he puts it back in. Meanwhile, you increase the pace, grabbing Taeyeon by her waist and showing your cock deeper inside her tiny body. But Taeyeon quickly counters and regains control of the ride, all while giving Karina's pussy a little extra heat with her hands.

"Take that cock!" Taeyeon continues to cheer on Karina as her melons get more and more jiggly and her pussy gets more and more impaled. "Oh my God," Karina groans as your friend now thrusts up her pussy and Taeyeon smirks, giving the young girl's tits some slaps as they get on her range. It may be Taeyeon's party, but Karina is the one getting fucked hard, as she spreads her legs and lets your friend manhandle her. Taeyeon starts getting a little faster herself, humping on your dick with increased intensity as well, but never losing sight of Karina.

"Oh fuck," Karina keeps getting destroyed. Your friend is completely addicted to her tight, young pussy and plows her nonstop while she fingers herself. You and Taeyeon get romantic, kissing each other as you two enjoy watching her get pounded. 'Right there," as Karina settles on your friend's cock, Taeyeon starts giving you some instructions, with you trying to match his intensity. Both of you now have your hands on your partner's tits, with you taking Tayeon's perky little boobs from behind while your friend reaches up top to grope Karina's massive honkers.

"Uhhhhh, yes, yes, yes, please, right there." Taeyeon is now the one moaning as Karina rotates her hips on your friend's cock while you pound the noona's little body. You two get very sweaty as time goes on, sliding all over the gym mat. "Ohhh, things are getting hot in here," Taeyeon notices as Karina tilts her body towards your friend's torso and lifts her legs as he starts pounding her in a full Nelson for a few seconds. "Tease that fucking cunt," Taeyeon tells him as he keeps slapping his shaft on Karina's clit. 

"Put it back in there," Karina begs. "Ooooh, you like that cock stretching that pussy don't you, Rina?" Taeyeon teases her as her hands reach onto Karina's clit even with your hard pounding from behind. "You like this slutty little pussy?" Taeyeon asks this time directed towards your friend.

"Dirty whore," you spank Taeyeon's ass and fuck her hard. She doesn't leave your dirty talk unsawered: "Yes, I'm a dirty whore, and you fucking love that; look how hard you're working for that dirty whore's cunt," she says. "It looks like Karina is one as well, taking that big dick so fucking deep," Taeyeon continues. "Fuck me, please," Karina says. "Yes, fuck her; I want you to fuck her until that pussy is sore," Taeyeon tells your friend, who can't help but accept her offer.

You had turned into just an accessory as Taeyeon enjoyed your friend and Karina's fuckfest. But that was about to change. Taeyeon ducks her head down and rests it against the gym mat, as she wants you to top her. You noticed and quickly followed suit. With only her knees holding her little weight, Taeyeon gets ragdolled by your huge cock, enjoying every second of it. "OH MY GOD, FUCK YES!" she lets out her first scream. "Fuck, you're so fucking big," Taeyeon praises your 9-inch meat ripping her cunt apart, while getting a privileged view of Karina now grinding on your friend's dick.

"Yes, take me; yes, take that fucking pussy like that." Taeyeon demands your full efforts. You do anything to please the birthday girl. "That's so fucking good; stretch my pussy; turn it loose," she keeps telling you. "Take me like that," she continues as your cock pumps her cunt nonstop. "Take that fucking pussy with that big fucking dick." Taeyeon's dirty talk has no brakes as you pin her body down the matress with your strong, muscular hands.

Taeyeon gets up as you let her taste her juices while you now slide down the gym mat. In the background of your romantic make-out, Karina continues to get impaled. "Oh fuck, I'm cumming," she says just as Taeyeon starts to suck you off, fingering herself and riding your friend's cock hard as her boobs keep jiggling. "Yes, cum all over that fucking dick, dirty little slut," Taeyeon tells her as soon as she hears it, now getting on her knees as she faces you and lets Karina enjoy from up top how she sucks your cock.

After a long ride and a massive release of fluids coming down her pussy, Karina gets up to suck your friend's cock, mirroing Taeyeon. Soon, she wraps her big tits around your friend's shaft, sliding his wet cock up and down her massive melons with ease. "Jerk my cock off," your friend tells her. "Yes, baby, look at those big tits all over that cock," Karina smiles, Taeyeon cheering on her in the background as she watches her titfucking session while never losing sight of your cock in her mouth. "So good," your friend approves.

Taeyeon sits on your lap as she grinds her hips against your hard cock, warming it up for more while she watches. Karina sucks your friend's big pick like crazy. You two give each other torrid kisses, as Taeyeon really enjoys spending her birthday with her favorite lover. "You're such a lovely slut," you whisper in her ear as Taeyeon smiles and starts jerking your cock, pressing it between your body and hers. "Time to ride that dick," you tell her as you lie your body in the matress, letting Taeyeon slide that prick inside her warm cunt once again.

"That cock is so good," a very sweaty Taeyeon says as she slides it fully inside her pussy. As Karina keeps jerking your friend off with her tits, Taeyeon is now the one bouncing. Her ride is insane, with her taking very rapid, short thrusts down your cock that don't let you rest for a second. You never cease to be amazed at how Taeyeon places her hands on your chest and just humps that cock like crazy.

"Yeah, yeah, ahhhh," Taeyeon moans as she increases the speed of her ride. Karina watches and is eager to follow the lead of her unnie. "AHHHHHHH. AHHHHHHH." Taeyeon screams fill up the room as she moves faster, going full dick-riding whore mode. Soon, Karina also sits on your friend's cock, this time facing him and giving him easier access to her huge tits.

"Whoa, whoa, whoa," you say as Taeyeon gives your cock no rest and her cheeks clap hard against your hips. "Yeah, yeah, yeah," she gives you some aegyo-esque moans as if she were still that teenager who once sang Gee, as she smashes your cock full speed. Karina tries to be a good student and copies Taeyeon's riding motion, but while doing it well, she just can't match Taeyeon's insane speed while mounting on a horse-hung cock. It's truly a skill that takes years to master, and Taeyeon is one of the very few that can do it like it's a walk in the park.

Your friend slaps Karina's fit ass, and she knows she has to go faster, but by the time she does, Taeyeon has already switched her motion, sitting hard on your cock as if she were just bouncing on one of those big yoga exercise balls. "Ohhh, baby, fuck," you're now the one on the edge as Taeyeon shows no mercy for your cock. If it depended just on her will, it would get snapped in half. Her ride is so intense that it feels like she's been possessed by some sex demon. 

Karina moans, as trying to match Taeyeon's energy proves too much for her. "Oh God, fuck," she groans as her pussy throbs and your friend keeps spanking her ass. Meanwhile, you can't do anything; Taeyeon is just on a whole new planet at this point. All you want is not to cum prematurely on her birthday once more. Five years ago, it was her throat; today, it could be her cunt, in five years, it might be her ass. This woman is the devil.

Taengoo's pussy is wet at this point; it starts queefing at each bounce she gives you, as your cock now meets a puddle of squirt inside her hole. You go feral, and it takes just a little stop in her ride for you to start pumping it up hard, as if you were seeking revenge on her for those demonic bounces a couple minutes ago. As you and Taeyeon duel like a fighting couple, making a lot of noise at each thrust, Karina just enjoys your friend's hard cock buried deep in her tight pussy.

Taeyeon tilts her body in your direction as she switches her riding motion once again. You respond by shoving your finger up her asshole. And what a switch that was, as her eyes stare right at Karina's bouncing body, and the first thing she sees are the youngster's tits in motion. However, this was just a trap that Taeyeon sets on her, as she quickly goes back to her original spot and keeps bouncing on your cock, while Karina, trying to follow, gets annihilated down under by your friend's dick.

"Yes, bow to that fucking cock," Taeyeon tells Karina while you grab her by her little boobs. The birthday girl is now the one seeing everything from above, turned on by watching Karina get plowed while she keeps bouncing on you nonstop, your bodies getting more and more slippery as her sweat and squirt spill all over you. "Ahhh, shit," you end up forcing her to stop in the middle of her ride just to survive. Well, you might have survived, but Karina's pussy is definitely getting killed at each thrust of your friend's big meat.

Your relief doesn't last long. "You can't stop like that; I'm the one who gives the commands." Taeyeon is angry you couldn't stand her ride and teaches you a lesson, gyrating her hips all over your cock and hitting it from every possible angle. This time you can survive her bombardment, as your cock gives in and surprises her with a single but massive sperm pump in her womb.

"Pleeeease," Karina begs as your friend keeps hitting her pussy hard. Meanwhile, Taeyeon was not on the pill, but she doesn't give a shit that you just ejaculated inside her, just enjoying the blend of fluids inside her needy pussy, all of them mixed by your huge cock: sweat, squirt, and cum. The sloppier, the better. She's known you for years and was aware you couldn't resist, as she now switches to a straight ride that expels all those fluids down her pussy into your shaft, balls, and crotch at each pump.

"You want more of that pussy?" Taeyeon rhetorically asks as you remain hard all the time, even after shooting inside her. To her side, Karina now starts riding in some crab-esque motion that Taeyeon can't help but find funny. "He's really getting those legs shaking," she tells her.

As you two finally finish your epic ride, it feels like Taeyeon wants more, bouncing her hips in the air with your cock already out of her. More fluids come out of her pussy, most of it being her squirt and your cum. Taeyeon makes sure to swallow all of them before moving on to the next round. "Ahh fuck," you scream, relieved that Taeyeon's cock torture is finally over. That woman really knows how to drain you.

Taeyeon dives straight to your cock, making sure it's back to the ideal size she wants. Any hint of flaccidness is gone in a couple seconds of her mouth working on it. Like a good, caring unnie, Taeyeon shares your cock with Karina, letting the youngster get spit-roasted as she tastes your wet dick already back at full strength. Taeyeon laughs as Karina is now just a piece of meat slotted between two hard cocks. "Look at that fucking slut," she says as she grabs Karina's hair and dunks her head against your dick.

Karina loves the way her unnie treats her, smiling at Taeyeon's face as soon as she lets her pull out of it, making your cock even sloppier. As Taeyeon now takes care of it, you get up to kiss Karina, who is still getting impaled by your friend during all this time, as he never lets go of her. You watch Karina's boobs bounce and then shove Taeyeon's face against your crotch. "Throat it, slut, choke on that fucking cock just like that," you tell her, still upset that she made you cum earlier.

"Oh my god, fuck, I'm gonna cum again." Karina is really straight-forward, and damn, her pussy is really sensitive as she braces herself for her third orgasm. One thing is certain: Karina came here just for fun but will come out with the perfect guy for whatever escapades she makes when she gets bored of her boyfriend. "Make her fucking cum," Taeyeon tells your friend as Karina's moans get softer and more childlike at every bounce on his cock.

Karina's queefing pussy finally gives in as she orgasms all over your friend's cock. As she cums, he tounches her very sensitive boobs, sending her to the heavens. While Karina gets up to taste her juices, you put Taeyeon in a fetal position and go down on her meaty, bushy cunt. "OH MY GOD! YES!" Taeyeon screams as she gets upside down, your tongue working all over her cum-filled, squirting babyhole. Her legs shake as you increase the heat in her vagina, filling the room with her moans. "You can't stop singing even during sex, holy shit" you mock her.

"OH FUCK. AHHHH. YESS." Taeyeon continues to let her feelings out as her pussy gets overwhelmed by your sweeping tongue. You move up and down, side by side, tasting every inch of her cunt. "AHHHHHH. AHHHHHH. AHHHHH." Taeyeon screams. You were truly throwing the perfect party for her. "Hmmm, so fucking hot," Karina tells her as Taeyeon wraps your legs around your head, ready to deliver a singing orgasm. Karina is already on all fours as your friend now takes her from behind, but you and Taeyeon aren't even noticing, fully focused on making the most of such a hot moment.

Taeyeon's legs tremble and open up as she cums. She fully spreads her legs as her sweaty body slides on the floor, and she squirts all over your face, giving you a big smirk. Not even seconds after finishing her orgasm, she already knows what's up next: "We are late," she tells you, getting on all fours to match Karina as the two kiss each other.

"FUCK!" Taeyeon yells hard as soon as you penetrate her pussy. But Karina is having a much harder time even staying up, as your friend's big bull has been manhandling her for a long time now. Both couples are now in perfect sync, but while Taeyeon takes your poundings with eyes wide open, Karina just closes her eyes as her pussy is already extremely sore after three orgasms and your friend molding it to the shape of his cock.

You spank Taeyeon's ass, and your friend soon follows and spanks Karina's. Now we've got two dueling whores—a match between youth and experience. On one side, moans and jiggly boobs; on the other, smiles at each penetration and the desire for more. "Oh my God, you hit me so fucking deep," Taeyeon tells you as she rolls her eyes. It turns out even the top whores can feel a lot of heat with such a massive cock like yours.

On the other side, Karina simply has no control over her boobs, letting them freely bounce like an airmless weapon. As they bump against each other, Karina's gets even more sensitive. But Taeyeon is no further behind. The two sluts now fully close her eyes and become just a pair of fucktoys on your and your friend's hands as you two firmly grab them by their little waists and keep pounding them.

"Good girls." You two praise them as they keep moaning with your cocks buried deep inside their cunts. Taeyeon and Karina look at each other and share kisses once more; it's the only relief they get amidst the pair of cocks stretching them out as hard as they can. "You look so hot getting fucked on all fours," Taeyeon tells Karina, who enjoys her unnie's compliments. Your friend now gives Karina's shoulders a massage while fucking her, while you firmly grip Taeyeon by her waist and love how she feels the heat of your cock hitting her tiny cum-filled womb all the way up to her cervix.

"God damn it," Taeyeon curses as the doggystyle fucking session keeps going on. "Oh my God, yes," Karina follows up as their hairs are now completely messy and sweaty and the rest of their bodies are aching as they have been turned into cocksleeves for your big meats. Karina has to use her long nails to cling to the gym mattress. Taeyeon pretends to sturggle to stay on her feet, but that tiny girl is stronger than most give her credit, as she rightens up her hair even with just one hand holding all the strangth of your poundings.

Taeyeon regains enough strangth that she starts moving her hips up and down your shaft. You give her ass a spank in approval." YES, FUCK, YES, OH MY GOD, AHHHHHHHHHHHHHH. On the other side, Karina is just a screaming mess as she starts shaking again. Little does she know, things are about to get even harder for her.

"Let's get down," you tell Taeyeon, who slides her body to the mat fully. Karina follows suit. You know this is Taeyeon's favorite position. She loves getting prone-boned by a massive cock up her holes. And of course, you're not gonna forget about it on her birthday of all days. Taeyeon reaches down and adjusts your cock to penetrate her at the best possible angle. Meanwhile, your friend doesn't even wait for you to start, already pounding Karina's pink slit as he gets more and more addicted to it.

"Fuck me like your life depends on it," Taeyeon tells you as you bone her. Meanwhile, Karina can only moan as she is getting stretched out nonstop. Taeyeon looks at her and gives her a little smirk before asking, "How long can you last?". "Not much, unnie. AHHHHHHHH," she says, barely able to finish.

"THAT FUCKING DICK IS SO GOOD, YOU GO SO FUCKING DEEP," Taeyeon screams as you pound her nonstop. Your session has essentially turned into a pair of hard dueling swords to see who can fuck their partner the hardest. Your balls smack Taeyeon's clit at each thrust, while your friend now slides his hands under Karina to fondle her tits while smashing them against the floor at each pounding. Even Taeyeon feels overwhelmed as you guys don't lift the foot off the gas at any second. 

"FUCKK. AHHHHH!" Taeyeon screams with her mouth wide open, while Karina grinds her teeth as your friend destroys her sore pussy. You and Taeyeon hotly kiss each other while Karina gets completely topped. "I think she's gonna collapse," Taeyeon whispers to you. "Stay put, you dirty little slut," Taeyeon tells Karina, as her guy keeps pumping her. Taeyeon's words make Karina find the last bit of strength she still has left, enduring your friend's bombardment of her pussy for a little longer.

You and Taeyeon continue to make out. "You look so fucking hot taking that cock," she tells Karina; she really enjoys watching her get destroyed. "Give it to me," she tells you, feeling a little jealous of Karina as the youngster's tits are now completely pressed against the floor and getting fondled by her man's, making Taeyeon wish she had such big boobs to feel the same way.

The two girls cum at the same time. While Taeyeon is sharing kisses with you, Karina has completely collapsed, with even her head now smashed in the floor, all that with your friend's cock still buried deep inside her. You two now finally move at a slower speed, just riding their orgasms. "I think I'm done for today; my pussy walls are so swollen they doubled in size. He really fucked me good," Karina says. She may have been out of combat, but Taeyeon is ready for more. "No problem, but please stay for the rest of the party," Taeyeon asks her. "Of course, unnie. I'll do everything you ask me," Karina gently replies.

"I want both of you to take turns in my ass," Taeyeon tells them as your friend pulls out of Karina, staring at both men with naughty eyes. Karina smiles, feeling like she's about to watch something special.

Taeyeon stays on the mat, with you just turning her body at a 90-degree angle. She gasps as your meat enters her asshole. No matter how familiar she is with your cock, it happens every single time you fuck her ass. At the same position you were fucking her pussy, you start drilling her butthole. "OHHHH. FUCKKK," she says. The only action going on is now you and her going 1 vs. 1. Her pussy squirts all over the matress as you gape her ass.

"So hot," Karina says. She really made the right decision to stay. Taeyeon is about to teach her how to become a top slut. "Yes, please, right there, fuck," Taeyeon says as Karina spreads her unnie's cheeks for your massive meat. Her eyes are now completely closed. The way you anally fucked her was truly special; no other guy could stretch her asshole the way you could, and Taeyeon knew that all the way back in the first time you two met each other.

"I love the way you stretch my tight little ass," Taeyeon tells you. You have heard that multiple times already, but it always turns you on. "Don't you fucking stop," she keeps saying. The way you fuck her is so simple, yet the chemistry between both of you is just amazing and scorching hot. Karina definitely seems to agree as she watches it up close. You now fuck Taeyeon's ass at a straight angle, sending her over the moon in the process. Close to you, Karina can only gasp at how your meat disappears inside her unnie's tiny hole with such ease. Nine whole inches, and she takes it like it's nothing.

"Such a big fucking dick," Taeyeon praises your massive manhood. "And you're such a good girl, spreading Unnie's ass," she says to Karina as you finish fucking her ass. Now, it's your friend's turn. "Give me that big gift up my ass for the first time," Taeyeon tells your friend while Karina licks her asshole in preparation. "Dirty slut wants to taste it?" she pokes her. As Karina gapes her unnie's ass, your friend takes your cock up Taeyeon's butt with ease. "Yes, please, take turns in my ass," she begs once more.

"Yes, right there, oh my godddddd, fuck," Taeyeon moans as if she were singing. You enjoy the way your friend stretches her butthole out as she closes her eyes and gets her hole fucked good. "Stuffing my fucking ass like a champion," she says, giving your friend a compliment as he reaches deeper. "Oh my God, you're gonna make me cum," she tells him as she reaches balls deep. 

Your friend can resist and starts manhandling Taeyeon's tiny ass. "Get in there," he says. "AHHHHHHH," she screams as soon as he starts fucking her faster. Taeyeon was truly caught by surprise as her clenched pussy opened up while her ass got destroyed. "SHITTTTT," your friend didn't come to play, as he truly wants to dethrone you for the number one spot among the best fuckers in Taeyeon's tight butt. 

"Yes, please, fucking destroy this fucking ass," Taeyeon says. Now for every two words that come from her mouth, one is a f-bomb. "Fuck, you're so fucking hot," she tells your friend as his balls make contact with her cunt. "Make me fucking cum, please; show how much you love this tight little hole," she tells him. "Fuck me harder, fuck me, fuck me hard like that," she keeps incentivizing him one f-bomb at a time. "Give it to her," you say in the background. 

"Are you ready to cum, baby?" he asks Taeyeon. "Yes, give it to me; make me your little slut," she replies. Soon enough, your friend gives Taeyeon that coveted anal orgasm she is craving. Taeyeon's body stays shaking on the floor as Karina tastes your friend's cock, eager to enjoy her unnie's butthole as she gives him a sloppy blowjob, while Taeyeon goes back to suck yours.

"I want both of you inside me," Taeyeon tells you as she gives your cock a little lick. You lie both on the mattress as she gets ready to sit her ass on your erect pole. "Fuck that dick is so big," Taeyeon whispers as your pole fully impales her asshole, staring at Karina, who enjoys her little unnie getting stuffed like a whore. 

"I want you to put your dick inside me too, come on, do it, don't be shy," Taeyeon begs your friend, looking at him with eyes full of lust as she rests her body on top of yours and rests her head on Karina's torso, while the youngester now sits on top of your face. Taeyeon spreads her meaty, used-up cunt for your friend's huge cock. "Yes, please, get in," she tells him as he teases her, going in and out of her pussy.

"Stuff me, please; I want both your dicks inside me. JUST LIKE THAT," she screams as your friend fully commits to her pussy, pumping it hard from the start. Nothing Taeyeon loves more than a pair of candles double penetrating her on her birthday. But for the first time, she's got someone else to watch it, which makes it even hotter for her. Just like before, Taeyeon moans as if she's singing, clinging to Karina's body as she reaches her little arms at her waist, while her head rests just under Karina's tits, her tiny body moving up and down yours as your friend pounds her pussy.

"That's so fucking good; your guys dicks are so fucking big," Taeyeon says as she now grabs Karina's boobs while your friend fingers her pussy and plays with her big bush. "Fuck, you guys are so good to me, giving me the best birthday ever and stretching out my fucking holes like that," Taeyeon says as she clenches them hard around your cock. "Watch it, Rina; this is what sluts are made of," she tells the youngster while looking at her, although the only thing she can see are her boobs.

Your friend chokes Taeyeon, who tells him she finds it hot. "You like watching me get fucked by both of these cocks?" Taeyeon asks Karina as her head slides right between the young girl's tits. "Soon you'll be the one taking those big fucking dicks for your birthday," she tells Karina. "If you haven't already, of course," Taeyeon laughs. "You fucking boys stuff me so fucking good; you take that fucking ass and pussy so... good," she tells them as both of you increase the pace of your thursts inside her holes.

Karina holds Taeyeon's legs up in the air, looking at your friend and future sexcapade guy licking her chops, thinking to herself that she can't wait to be at Taeyeon's place. "I hope my boyfriend doesn't mind it," she tells herself. "That pussy is so good," your friend tells Taeyeon, impressed at how quickly her hole gets wet for his cock. And just as he notices it, she says, "Fuck, you're gonna fucking make me cum. Yes, please, fuck please," Taeyeon tells him.

Your friend truly wasn't ready for what came next. As he shoved his cock deeper into Taeyeon's vagina, he started groaning. Her walls clenched, and she started "biting" his cock, which bends just at her entrance. Taeyeon puts her finger on his clit and closes her eyes as she starts cumming, expelling his cock out with a volcanic squirt that reaches all the way up into his torso.

"OHHHHHHH!" Tayeon screams as she squirts. "Holy shit," your friend says, amazed at the geyser coming out of her cunt that gets his body wet from top to bottom. "Fuck her harder, make her squirt harder," Karina tells him as soon as he finds room to go back inside Taeyeon's pussy. He grabs Taeyeon's left leg with one hand and her neck with the other, pounding her wet puddle of a cunt as hard as he can under the watchful and naughty eye of Karina.

"You're so fucking hot taking me, taking that fucking pussy like that." Taeyeon praises your friend as she licks the juices from her cunt. He fingers her, hoping for another river of squirt, as Taeyeon wraps her arms around Karina's waist. Meanwhile, Taeyeon's waist gets grabbed hard by your friend, who pounds her so fast that he makes your cock slip out of Taeyeon's asshole.

Taeyeon massages your hard cock out of her hole while your friend keeps giving her a rough missionary. "Let me taste your fucking cock," she tells him, kicking him out of her pussy and sliding down your body to blow his cock off. Jealousy starts to get into your head. For the first time in a long while, your cock isn't Taeyeon's preferred choice. She kisses your friend and praises his cock in front of you, to the point where it feels like she's doing it on purpose.

You only have Karina's mouth on your cock to please you; meanwhile, your friend is putting his filthy hands all over Taeyeon's wet pussy and helping her squirt again, much to her delight as she kisses him. Taeyeon screams as he makes her squirt, followed by a laugh and a kiss as she follows. Soon, she's riding his cock as well. "Rina, you're so hot sucking this dick," Taeyeon tells her as Karina keeps savoring your monster pole. 

For the first time in a while, Taeyeon gets closer to you as she kisses Karina to get a taste of your cock. You feel a little angry, but you don't want to be an asshole and ruin her party. Lucky for you, Taeyeon's next request to Karina ends up being a blessing to you.

"Rina, do me a favor," Taeyeon starts. "Go to my bag, get my phone, and film me taking both their cocks," she finishes. Karina starts to laugh at her unnie's outrageous request. Taeyeon really wanted that recording as her birthday souvenir. As Karina gets up to pick up the phone, you lick your chops, looking right into Taeyeon's eyes. As she rides your friend's cock in her pussy, her ass is wide open for you to top her. You know this is your chance to reassert your spot as her top man, and you're gonna take it and stuff her just like you did the first time you two met each other.

Taeyeon looks really excited while riding his dick. As Karina gets her unnie's phone and approaches you three, you insert your cock in Taeyeon's ass. You know it's going to be a tough task, but out of all the countless DPs Taeyeon has experienced, you'll make sure this is her best.

"Please put that fucking big dick in my ass; stretch me wide open," Taeyeon tells you. As Karina starts to film it, Taeyeon is already falling on her knees. You go slow, but make sure to fuck her ass balls deep from the start as your sack hits your friend's cock, stretching her pussy. Taeyeon loved how you hit her in the right spots from the beginning. Truth be told, while being an anchor man has its advantages, being the alpha dog of a DP will always be the preferred option.

"Fuck, you guys are stretching me so hard; fucking make me your tiny little fucking slut, getting those fucking big dicks inside my tiny fucking holes. Fucking me in front of my dongsaeng," Taeyeon says as Karina moves around you guys and starts filming both of your cocks pumping inside Taeyeon's stretched holes. Karina feels amazed: "I need to throw a birthday party just like unnie's," she thinks.

"Oh Gosh. Rina, are you filming this?" Taeyeon asks her, enjoying getting stuffed by both of your cocks to the fullest, especially at how you're mounting her like a raging bull. "Yes, unnie, it's so fucking hot," she tells Taeyeon. "I think I'm in paradise now; these cocks stretch me so weel, ahhhhh." Taeyeon continues. "Good girl, taking all that fucking dick deep in her holes," you tell her.

"AHHHHHHHH. OH. MY. GOD. THAT'S SO MUCH COCK!" Taeyeon screams as your bull pumps her intensely. Besides filming, Karina now reaches under her new lover's cock, caressing it as he stuffs it in Taeyeon's pussy. Taeyeon wraps her hands around your feet as you put all your strength into destroying her asshole, topping her like she's your personal bitch. "Fuck you guys make me feel so good," she says as you pick up the pace, leading the charge more and more as the dominant alpha while your friend lies idle with Karina jerking him off.

"Slut enjoying it a lot, aren't you, Taengoo?" you ask, using her nickname. "Fuck," is how she answers; you don't need to ask anything else. Karina keeps filming both cocks pumping her unnie's pair of fuckholes, fingering herself to the scene. "You guys are gonna make me explode with those two fucking big dicks," Taeyeon continues as her holes start to queef, your balls colliding with your friend's shaft as he pushes his cock up her cunt and you push yours deep in her ass.

Taeyeon is just a stuffed moaning whore now, as the two cocks work her cunt and anus in perfect sync, hitting deep inside her at the same time. You take Taeyeon by surprise, fucking her ass now at full speed as revenge for her making you feel jealous a while ago, showing her who the boss is. "Give it to her," your friend tells you as Taeyeon starts to call for God more than she ever did—in fact, every time you hit deep in her asshole.

Your friend gets some extra motivation from Taeyeon's screams, pushing up her pussy as well. Now that's all that's left for her, screaming at each pump of both cocks deep inside her fuckholes until she cums. Taeyeon pleads to God more than 100 times, but her prayers go unanswered. The only thing she gets is your raging boner stuffing her even harder, making you groan as you get close to cum. Karina registers everything while wishing to get fucked like that. "Rina, you like watching your unnie get treated like a dirty little slut?" Taeyeon asks her.

"Of course," Karina answers as she zooms her phone close to the action. Taeyeon's holes barely appear now, fully stuffed with cock. "AH. AH. AH. AH. AH." Taeyeon rapdily screams as both cocks don't stop stretching her out, yours leading the charge. "OH, YOU'RE GONNA MAKE ME CUM, HOLY SHIT," she continues, her body now completely sweaty while her eyes haven't seen any light for many minutes.

You slow down and enjoy Taeyeon's begging. The independent woman turned into a screaming slut for cock. "Rina, are you filming?" is all she can ask. "Yeah," Karina responds. "I've got a great angle; I think you're gonna enjoy it," she says as Taeyeon lets out yet another moan and creams all over those cocks, while your friend kisses her neck and licks her sweat. "You boys destroy my holes so fucking good," Taeyeon says, her face turning red.

"I want both of you guys to cum on my face and blow those fucking birthday candles all over it," she says. "Is that what you want?" you ask her. "Yes, please," she answers. 

You guys pull out of Taeyeon, jerking your big cocks while she gets on her knees; her little body does not even get past your legs. "Yes, I want it," Taeyeon unleashes her rarely seen aegyo. "Rina I want you to film it," Taeyeon says as she puts her hands on both men's legs. Karina has a great view from the phone's lens, and with Taeyeon's little body surrounded by both cocks from such big guys, she can only record them from their torso down. Taeyeon's skin and especially her bush glow under the camera's lens as well.

"And then I want you to cum kiss me after," Taeyeon says, to which Karina reacts with her biggest smile of the day, which Taeyeon follows with one of her own, never losing sight of the two big cocks jerking off for her. "Are you guys ready to cum on my face and have my hot friend cum swap with me?" Taeyeon asks. Both of you start singing happy birthday to her as you guys get closer.

"I want every last drop," Taeyeon says just as you guys finish singing. As soon as she says those words, your friend is the first to cover her face, with Taeyeon scooping the cum that doesn't hit it with her bare hands. "Yes, perfect," she says. "Ah, fuck," your friend groans as she drains his balls to the fullest.

You're the next in line. Taeyeon's left cheek is already fully covered in semen as your friend slaps his cock in her face. "Thank you for such a good gift," she praises him and even rubs his tip on her eye, bringing back that feeling of jealousy in you. "Rina is gonna love this," she says, already aware of her friend's burning desire for your friend's cock.

"Ready to cum now?" Taeyeon sexily asks you. The load you drop on her is so sudden that she opens her mouth gleefully in happiness, watching as it reaches all the way down her chest, scooping what drops down and rubbing on it too. The next load hit her right cheek, as her face is now fully covered in cum, and you're also completely drained.

"You guys were so fucking good to me today; thank you for the best party ever," Taeyeon says, grabbing your friends already deflating cock while sucking your while still hard and then taking turns at giving both tips a few kisses.

"Take the camera and let Rina come here," Taeyeon tells you. Karina is extremely happy as she licks her unnie's cum-covered face, tasting it like the cream on top of a birthday cake. Taeyeon drops the cum in her mouth into Karina's, licking what spills into her face. "That's so hot, I love it," she says, looking at you. "Next time, it's going to be your face all covered in cum," Taeyeon tells Karina, who laughs, hoping that comes soon enough.

As you film the girls kissing each other, one final idea comes to Taeyeon's mind. "I can't go home all sweaty and full of cum; can you guys clean me before we leave?" she asks. "Sure, let's take a shower," you two say. "Yes, but not the kind of shower you guys are thinking," Taeyeon says.

"What kind?" They ask. "I want those cocks peeing all over me. I know you guys have a lot in the tank; after all, it's how you clean those pipes after so much cum, isn't it?" she says.

"Holy shit," you exclaim, never thinking that Taeyeon would ask for a golden shower. She never had before over all those years, but it's her birthday, and she wanted something a little more outside the box. "Stay there and film all of it, Rina," she says. "I want your friend to clean my body with his piss while you clear my throat as I get ready for tomorrow," she orders.

You guys oblige, as your friend makes sure to piss all over her body, giving her torso, boobs, face, and even her bush some cleaning. Meanwhile, your hot piss goes all into Taeyeon's throat. Not gonna lie, you love turning the throat that has sung some of Korea's biggest hits into your personal urinal.

"Amazing," Taeyeon says as you two run out of piss. She gargles yours in her mouth and then drinks it. "Thanks for such a great birthday party. You and your buddy, Karina, all did amazing today. I hope we'll have many more meetings in the future." Taeyeon gives a brief speech as she goes towards Karina and your friend first. "I think you guys should spend the night together, as long as you didn't schedule anything with your boyfriend, right, Rina?" she asks.

"No, unnie, I don't have anything tonight," Karina says. "Then fine, just watch for the paparazzi. They are always lurking. I can take you guys to my apartment if you want," she says. "Sure, unnie," Karina tells her as they get a hot, spicy shower together and minutes later leave the building.

Now it's just you and Taeyeon in the warehouse, both still naked. "You blew me away today. I loved how you felt so jealous when I gave your friend lots of attention. You really don't want to lose your favorite noona, don't you?" she asked. "Never," you said. "Then let's go to your house and enjoy a romantic night," she continued.

As you two have some post-sex fun in the warehouse's shower and get ready to leave it, Taeyeon gets in her car and heads towards your house for dinner. It was always her policy to leave in separate cars from her partner since the day she got caught dating in one. But before she did so, she said those final words:

"I can't wait to know what you're going to prepare for my 40th birthday." Yes, she was already thinking of it that far ahead.

Today, I'm starting a new series called Legends. This series is about some of the most iconic female idols and will feature longer stories with a lot of sex, that, depending on the idol, can be very passionate or very extreme. To feature on this series, the idol must be at least 30 years old and have some iconic moments that are entrenched into k-pop's lore. The stories will all take place around their birthdays, with each idol getting a special kind of celebration.

For this year, I'll take on idols born in 1989 and 1994 (so those who turn either 35 or 30 years old this year). Taeyeon, who turned 35 four days ago, was my choice to start it, featuring her in a DP foursome alongside Karina (who could very likely be herself a future legend) with a very nasty ending. Besides Taeyeon, there are other 3 idols I have in mind for this series in 2024: Suzy, Krystal (who turn 30) and Taeyeon's groupmate Yuri (who also turns 35).

[aspd-culture]

aspd and adhd(/possible autism) culture is realizing only once you're out of high school "ohhhhhhh wait, so i thought i wasn't abused growing up, but actually i was and it only stopped due to covid, and that resulted in my osdd system and aspd?"

buckle up, this is Long and definitely classifies as a Vent. honestly, you can ignore the middle section and jump to the next blank line of space if you want.

jesus christ. i was punished more harshly than my peers, i struggled to make friends, i was put into a little school program where board games were used to reinforce good behavior in problem kids which i only realized two months ago, my memory issues (which were always there, but only noticed in fifth grade) got me into so much shit with every authority figure ever, i broke a window using one of those mechanical hamster things that were popular at the time by accident but i didn't care at all, that's just scratching the surface

memories of things have been coming back to me lately. according to my mom i was such a nice little kid, always shared and was polite and highly empathetic, all the goods.

school came along, flipped everything on its head. i remember harassing and hurting animals, and people, and sometimes telling those people not to tell—not because i felt bad but because i didn't want to get into trouble again, it was an inconvenience. my home life was pretty good but other kids left me out of things a lot and sometimes called me names, even the neighbors' kids i liked to hang out with would make me the monster of their games and that does something to a kid (one of them is also the reason i'm a victim of cocsa). when i did something wrong or bad there was only punishment because i "should know not to do that" and so i had to teach myself how to be a functioning and good member of society. i got good at lying towards the end of third grade, the skill got better from there with every punishment i faced

when a former friend told me "hey, you have aspd traits/might have aspd" i went and found the checklist, because thorough research is how i work, went through it. at the time i didn't think it fit very well because "yes, i experience that but that's pretty normal for people, i learned how to manage it under several layers of creating a socially acceptable person just like everyone else"

i've gone back to it a couple times since and wow, surprise surprise, everything applies! the "this doesn't apply to me because i have a system to help with this thing" mindset means the thing still applies! there's some stuff, namely the destruction and truancy, that i didn't do but that's solely because i knew i couldn't get away with it and therefore didn't bother trying. so thanks to aaaaaaall that stuff and more, i definitely grew up with both conduct disorder and odd, and now it's aspd

i can't say i'm mad about having aspd? it causes problems in my life, yes, but i've spent so long wrangling myself into a form small enough to fit into society's box that it's not the worst thing anymore. i think i'm more mad at society, my peers, for not helping me with this and being kind where they should've, especially my mom as of recently

that said: it is fucking hard-wired into me that there's only good people and bad people in the world. harmful behavior towards me (or someone else doing something i can't forgive) is automatically met with hammurabi's eye for an eye. the coping mechanisms i use work very well, are generally healthy, and people who don't do anything to calm themselves down and think rationally tend to piss me off. i have been fighting those things for a while but they're the ones that simply won't go away. hamburger help me.

aspd-culture-is

There's a lot of good information in this ask. Too many people see ASPD as a direct result of physical abuse or CSA/SA, when a lot of ASPD symptoms really develop around things that are seen as smaller issues, where a child's problems get diminished by the people who are supposed to help that child to the point where they feel the only person that will help them is themself.

More than anything else, I personally think a very quick and simple way to decrease the number of people who end up with ASPD would be to get parents and other caregiving adults, and honestly society as a whole, to understand that regardless of how simple, silly, or insignificant it may seem to someone older, these "silly" things are often the worst thing the child has experienced up until that point. Someone always having to be the monster sounds like nothing to an adult, leading to no response to help besides maybe "they're just teasing you, ignore them". But "just teasing" is the most social rejection a child has experienced to that point, and so it is extremely distressing and emotionally painful. It feels like the most isolated they could possibly be, because they haven't been around long enough to experience worse. Then, the child is told to ignore it, which not only fails to make them feel better, but often causes it to get even worse as the other kids try and push harder to get the reaction they're looking for. Do they eventually give up? Sometimes. But the lengths and extremes many bullies will go to when "just teasing" doesn't elicit a response is disturbing and that fact is either unknown to or ignored by adults.

Part of why always being made the monster does something to a kid is that it is treated as a non-issue. When that is what a developing brain learns is the reaction to their pain, they will no longer seek outside help when things become extreme.

TW: descriptions of SA/r threats. Skip the following paragraph and move to the next one to avoid. Also a bit of a vent.

When I was in school, I was teased. I was made the dog who was not allowed to talk or a person with their vocal chords removed any time we played pretend. Sometimes they made me a rock or stick on the ground, even. It sounds like nothing, and when I was told it would go away if I ignored them, I listened. It didn't stop them. It led to an entire set of multiple schools that were combined into one building seeing me as a verbal and sometimes physical plaything; a place to take out your angst and distress. I lost my personhood in their eyes, so my understanding of social interactions were tainted and colored by the way my peers treated me. I told anyone who tried to befriend me not to be seen talking to me, to bully me publicly so they wouldn't get the treatment I got, so even the few people who tried to be kind got a skewed, unnatural social interaction with me. Many listened, and I don't hold that against them at all. That's simply what they had to do to make it. It got to the point of receiving verbal and *detailed, written-out, and signed* r word threats, and boys who were 11 years old talking about kidnapping tying me up in their parents attic and using me whenever they wanted (theirs was more detailed). Some even attempted to touch me, and adults nearby ignored it because "X likes to handle it themselves, they don't like when adults get involved", because I learned that they would only vaguely say stop, and it would get worse. That's what happens when you just ignore it.

And what do we call a person who learns that only they can protect themselves, and who doesn't understand any positive interaction with anyone that isn't transactional? Antisocial. I hate the idea what a positive relationship with family is incompatible with ASPD, sorry about the rant. Because of how ASPD develops, I refuse to dislike or resent myself or my symptoms when it comes to ASPD. If people didn't want me like this, they shouldn't have treated me like this.

Plain text below the cut:

There's a lot of good information in this ask. Too many people see ASPD as a direct result of physical abuse or CSA/SA, when a lot of ASPD symptoms really develop around things that are seen as smaller issues, where a child's problems get diminished by the people who are supposed to help that child to the point where they feel the only person that will help them is themself.

More than anything else, I personally think a very quick and simple way to decrease the number of people who end up with ASPD would be to get parents and other caregiving adults, and honestly society as a whole, to understand that regardless of how simple, silly, or insignificant it may seem to someone older, these "silly" things are often the worst thing the child has experienced up until that point. Someone always having to be the monster sounds like nothing to an adult, leading to no response to help besides maybe "they're just teasing you, ignore them". But "just teasing" is the most social rejection a child has experienced to that point, and so it is extremely distressing and emotionally painful. It feels like the most isolated they could possibly be, because they haven't been around long enough to experience worse. Then, the child is told to ignore it, which not only fails to make them feel better, but often causes it to get even worse as the other kids try and push harder to get the reaction they're looking for. Do they eventually give up? Sometimes. But the lengths and extremes many bullies will go to when "just teasing" doesn't elicit a response is disturbing and that fact is either unknown to or ignored by adults.

Part of why always being made the monster does something to a kid is that it is treated as a non-issue. When that is what a developing brain learns is the reaction to their pain, they will no longer seek outside help when things become extreme.

TW: descriptions of SA/r threats. Skip the following paragraph and move to the next one to avoid. Also a bit of a vent.

When I was in school, I was teased. I was made the dog who was not allowed to talk or a person with their vocal chords removed any time we played pretend. Sometimes they made me a rock or stick on the ground, even. It sounds like nothing, and when I was told it would go away if I ignored them, I listened. It didn't stop them. It led to an entire set of multiple schools that were combined into one building seeing me as a verbal and sometimes physical plaything; a place to take out your angst and distress. I lost my personhood in their eyes, so my understanding of social interactions were tainted and colored by the way my peers treated me. I told anyone who tried to befriend me not to be seen talking to me, to bully me publicly so they wouldn't get the treatment I got, so even the few people who tried to be kind got a skewed, unnatural social interaction with me. Many listened, and I don't hold that against them at all. That's simply what they had to do to make it. It got to the point of receiving verbal and *detailed, written-out, and signed* r word threats, and boys who were 11 years old talking about kidnapping tying me up in their parents attic and using me whenever they wanted (theirs was more detailed). Some even attempted to touch me, and adults nearby ignored it because "X likes to handle it themselves, they don't like when adults get involved", because I learned that they would only vaguely say stop, and it would get worse. That's what happens when you just ignore it.

And what do we call a person who learns that only they can protect themselves, and who doesn't understand any positive interaction with anyone that isn't transactional? Antisocial. I hate the idea what a positive relationship with family is incompatible with ASPD, sorry about the rant. Because of how ASPD develops, I refuse to dislike or resent myself or my symptoms when it comes to ASPD. If people didn't want me like this, they shouldn't have treated me like this.

[anhed-nia]

HANDLING OF THE UNDEAD (Hanteringen av odöda)

There's a certain common experience of comic awkwardness--actually there's even a Mr. Show sketch about it, if I remember correctly--where, after bidding a sincere farewell to someone at the end of an enjoyable night out, you make the unfortunate realization that you're both walking the same way home. Emotionally you are both somewhere else now, "the night" is conceptually over, and now you're trapped together without a script. Although Thea Hvistendahl's feature debut HANDLING THE UNDEAD probably has nothing else in common with Mr. Show, they both ask this same basic question about closure and the persistence of the past. The film concerns three families of the recently re-animated; there's a sort of will they/won't they tension regarding the obvious question of whether these zombies will behave in the traditional manner, but the focus is more strongly on the emotional problem of accepting that things will never again be as they once were.

I think this film is really going to do it for modern horror fans who have come to expect direct explorations of tough topics like grief and trauma. For me personally, I found it highly competent, but a little flat; yes, it is sad, it is VERY sad, it is VERY, VERY SAD, and what more can one really expect? At my screening director Hvistendahl was available for questions, and she candidly confessed that she didn't have any personal experiences with grief to which she could refer--a fact that had no impact on the amount of sniffling in the audience. She inherited the project from others, after a few false starts over the last decade; it is adapted from a novel by John Ajvide Lindqvist, better known for LET THE RIGHT ONE IN, and the writer really did have a powerful reference point for grief. According to Hvistendahl his father was literally defaced in a hideous boating accident and, despite the warnings of morgue workers, he insisted on viewing the body. The filmmaker says that her own reference points lay outside her life; that she drew inspiration from others who'd had closer encounters with death.

Personally, I started thinking about people I've known who died early in the film, and then I just couldn't stop. I wondered what would happen if various people came back. The basic assumption might be that it's usually desirable to have somebody back, if you missed them. But I feel like things are likely to be more complicated, especially if the living have already gone some distance through the grieving process--potentially accessing feelings that were too hard to face during the deceased's lifetime.

I thought about a much-admired friend, somebody who was kind of my hero and who was adored by everyone who knew her, who killed herself. The main initial reaction among her closest loved ones was rage. People were so, SO angry with her for leaving them, or not allowing them to save her, or maybe for forcing them to feel as sad and lonely as she felt, or for whatever other things seem to piss people off so much about suicide. I don't know what would happen if she came back to life. I mean probably a lot of people would lay down their arms and try to be grateful, but who knows. That kind of really personal anger can be hard to come back from.

I also thought about a couple I know well, the wife was extremely well-loved by many people, all of whom were devastated when she was diagnosed with terminal cancer. The painful, protracted illness made the loss all the more awful, and it fell to her surviving family members to preserve and sort of reenact her memory for everyone else. But the reality was that things were not so perfect at home--not to suggest anything really dark, but the couple would have been divorced had she survived. So then she died and her widower was left holding the proverbial bag; he could never have the personal satisfaction of separating from someone who was not right for him, and criticizing her would be unthinkable. If she came back to life...sure, they might divorce, but it's just as likely that he would suffer public pressure to honor and keep her in a more extreme way than usual for the rest of his life.

Finally I thought about a friend of mine who was murdered. I watch a lot of slasher movies, and whenever I hear the criticism that horror lovers must all be desensitized or delusional about real violence, I think about this person who was senselessly killed by a random psychopath at her sister's wedding. It shattered our circle of friends and I cannot imagine what it did to her family, especially her sister. I mean even if they were to do another wedding, it would be impossible not to think of the murder the second time. It would be permanently associated with the new couple. It's hard to even wrap your mind around all the effects of this event. In this case--setting aside the problems of zombies, which I have left out of my meditation--I can only think that having my friend back really would fix things for everyone.

So maybe ultimately I'm saying that HANDLING THE UNDEAD would be a more interesting movie if the losses in it were a bit more complicated in some way. However, I can't ask one film to be all things to all people, and surprise is a particularly difficult thing to achieve. But if you like John Ajvide Lindqvist and you want to be surprised, I strongly advise you to watch BORDER. You will see some stuff in there that you will never see anywhere else in your life, and it probably won't bum you out too much.

[cluelylikesporn]

okay exam update cuz im actually really pissed off.

so im autistic + adhd, and only been diagnosed relatively recently, so i havent really been getting assistance until now. (autism diagnosis last year, adhd 2 years ago.)

my last exam was (still is) this period, and im going home once i finish it. one of my other exams i was sent to special ed (it’s called different things in australia and other schools but i dont wanna get doxxed) and the chick helping me (we’ll call her charlie) told me she couldnt even read the questions out to me… like i legit get more help in my normal exam conditions.

she told me WHILE HAVING A PANIC ATTACK “i think i know why your so upset, because you know you dont listen in class and just sleep and draw on your hand.” cunt, what..?

HOW ARE YOU WORKING WITH NEURODIVERGENT KIDS..?

i literally have spent my whole life wondering why i cant listen in class and hearing “just reread it.” or “your not listening hard enough.” is so fucking tiring. maybe explain it? she refused to help me because i “wasnt approved” to have a helper

the school knows im autistic so why do i have to be approved to get the help i need? like you dont have to make up all these forms and files. you have teachers who can help me literally in the building who could help me but you refuse.

okok i got rlly off topic but tldr on what happened today:

my teacher sent me to the special ed area to do my exam (last time he did they told me to go back) also shout out to my english teacher hes a legend. he gave me my sheet, i took a ritalin, said bye to the people i liked and left. (i used to take ritalin daily but now i jst take it to focus better in exams and shit)

i went to se and saw a couple kids i knew. one i hated and didnt know why he was there, one who has some mental problems so i understood why he was there. hes a sweetie. and some chick i knew who broke her wrist and had to write on a laptop.

so one by one they were assigned a teacher who would sit with them and help them/ read out questions and then the lady said “oh chloe your not supposed to be here, you have to go back to class.”

are you fucking kidding me.

i completely understand its not her or my teachers fault im not meant to be there, but im allowed to be a little frustrated. i asked why i kept getting sent here and why i couldn’t get help.

same shit about documents and boring stuff.

keep in mind i get ndis funding so i thought that would impact my education experience but nope, literally nothing. i also understand there could be things my mum hasnt done and that’s completely ok she has her own life, but also THE SCHOOL KNOWS IM AUTISTIC. that should be enough. its like i only get the help if i start ditching class and become an eshay or some shit like i shouldnt have to become a troubled kid to get help.

so the lady said my only benefit i even got from the school is like 5 minutes extra time. and she told me i could either go back to class or do my exam here( which means i could get no help/ questions read to me.)

ngl this was dumb of me but i said ok bc i didnt want to go back to class after saying bye to everyone😭

so i sat there with one airpod in, a pen that didnt fucking work, the only help i could get was eavesdropping on what the assistant teachers were saying but they were so quiet. i did manage to write some stuff but it was pretty fucking stressful. i couldnt stop thinking about what charlie said (the lady helping me with my maths the week before.)

this may sound super dumb but i saw a crow fly onto a table outside and i felt like it was watching over me. like it was looking right at me. it made me feel a bit better and i got some work done.

it wouldve been fine if those fucking assistant teachers didnt keep giving me pitiful looks like bro. i know im fucked.

anyway i finished my exam (barely) and went to the bathroom to tell my friend ab what happened, caught a bus home and am about to play dbd 😾

sorry for the long post im jst so pissed😭 but ily guys and ill post i swear🙏

song of the day:

[ro-presents-under-the-nola-stars]

𝐏𝐆

𝐥𝐚𝐧𝐠𝐮𝐚𝐠𝐞.

𝐟𝐞𝐚𝐭𝐮𝐫𝐢𝐧𝐠 𝐣𝐞𝐧𝐧𝐢𝐟𝐞𝐫 “𝐣𝐣” 𝐣𝐚𝐫𝐞𝐚𝐮 𝐚𝐧𝐝 𝐣𝐚𝐫𝐞𝐥𝐥𝐞 “𝐤𝐮𝐭𝐭𝐲” 𝐛𝐨𝐮𝐝𝐫𝐞𝐚𝐮𝐱

𝐨𝐧𝐞 𝐧𝐢𝐠𝐡𝐭, 𝐚𝐬 𝐣𝐣 𝐢𝐬 𝐰𝐨𝐫𝐤𝐢𝐧𝐠 𝐥𝐚𝐭𝐞, 𝐬𝐡𝐞 𝐫𝐞𝐜𝐞𝐢𝐯𝐞𝐬 𝐚 𝐜𝐚𝐥𝐥 𝐟𝐫𝐨𝐦 𝐣𝐚𝐬𝐢𝐫𝐚'𝐬 𝐥𝐢𝐭𝐭𝐥𝐞 𝐛𝐫𝐨𝐭𝐡𝐞𝐫, 𝐣𝐚𝐫𝐞𝐥𝐥𝐞. 𝐭𝐡𝐞 𝐲𝐨𝐮𝐧𝐠 𝐦𝐚𝐧 𝐜𝐚𝐥𝐥𝐬 𝐢𝐧𝐪𝐮𝐢𝐫𝐢𝐧𝐠 𝐚𝐛𝐨𝐮𝐭 𝐚 𝐠𝐢𝐫𝐥 𝐡𝐞 𝐥𝐢𝐤𝐞𝐬 𝐚𝐧𝐝 𝐚𝐬 𝐭𝐡𝐞𝐲 𝐭𝐚𝐥𝐤, 𝐣𝐣 𝐚𝐥𝐥𝐨𝐰𝐬 𝐡𝐞𝐫𝐬𝐞𝐥𝐟 𝐭𝐨 𝐚𝐬𝐤 𝐬𝐨𝐦𝐞 𝐪𝐮𝐞𝐬𝐭𝐢𝐨𝐧𝐬 𝐨𝐟 𝐡𝐞𝐫 𝐨𝐰𝐧

𝟐.𝟐𝐊 𝐖𝐨𝐫𝐝𝐬

mid april 2007

JJ was so ready to go home. The last case they had worked, however, had been… a lot to say the least, and the paperwork was a true testament to that.

More than the case, Hotch had been on edge the entire time. Not in any way that had affected his work or his attitude. No one had seemed to noticed other than herself and Gideon. Of course, as long as Hotch isn't acting out of character, it tends to be that way. If that slight exhale every single time his phone had rang was any indication, he and Haley were having problems, again. It didn't take long for her to figure that out. It took even less time for it to be confirmed because as soon as he had turned his phone off to avoid her, JJ's phone started ringing instead.

Haley Hotchner, in JJ's experience, was one seriously pissed off lady. If JJ was being fair, though, by the time things had gotten to the point of JJ being their middle man, Haley always had a damned good reason to be pissed off. Especially when JJ factors in, from both her own involvement and distant observations, that things weren't like this until after Jack was born. She doesn't think she would ever call him on it, but he's started to put in more hours since then, not less like they would expect. JJ supposes if she were married with a child that she and her partner planned for only for her partner to practically immediately begin using work to run away from it all, she would a seriously pissed off lady, too.

All that to say, JJ was tired of being the couple's messanger for each other. So, she's done what she always does when their being on the outs starts to directly affect her ability to do her job and thrive: she sent Hotch home as soon as the plane landed and took over his share of the paperwork.

She'd only recently wrapped up her own paper work, and she was just now started on Hotch's. Hotch's paperwork isn't just Hotch's paperwork, either, because for some reason, Hotch takes it upon himself to do a good portion of everyone else's paperwork (except hers), too. She often wonders if the other agents even really know how much of their jobs they aren't actually doing.

In doing so, she's had to opt out of dinner and Skype with her girl. Any break, no matter how minimal, could drag this out longer than she wants. And, while she knows Shy would be content to watch her work, JJ knows seeing Shy would be too much of a distraction for her. So, she had to cancel, much to her chagrin.

She doesn't know how late it is, exactly, when her work phone starts to ring, but it is late enough that her body tenses up at the sound of it. Phonecalls this late typically mean she's going to have to wake the team, and she just really does not need that, right now.

"Agent Jareau," is about all the energy she can muster up at this time of night.

On the other end of the phone, Kutty's eyebrows crease as her answers back, "Well, damn, you could say hello, wassup, sumn."

JJ looks over at the caller idea as she slows her writing. She doesn't know the number, but she knows a New Orleans area code when she sees one. Not to mention, she doesn't think she could ever forget the sound of this kid's voice.

"Jarelle?"

"Please," he says and she can hear his smile, "Call me Kutty, all my aces do, and I like to think of us as friends."

It is a little ridiculous that knowing this fourteen year old considers her a friend helps her breathe easy, but it does. She hopes he mentions it to his sister.

"Kutty it is," she says, voice still lacking enthusiam because she is quite exhausted, "What're you doing calling me at this hour? Is everything okay? Where's your sister?"

"Everything cool, my sister is out."

JJ pauses, now, dropping her pen, "Out where?"

"With this white boy named Josh," he says. adding, "She decided to go out last minute." Her jaw clenches, even though, she knows what they agreed to. It is fine; she knows why they aren't together together, and Shy does deserve to experience things. Still, the thought of her being with someone else, makes her stomach turn. Jarelle continues, "I just had some questions."

Her sigh is heavy, now, "Kutty, no, I'm still working, I can't deal with your interrogations right now."

"I know you still working because I called your cellphone first, and you didn't answer," he says, matter of factly. JJ reaches to pick up her cellphone, because it hadn't rang, only to realize it was dead. "Anyway, it ain't like that. I need advice."

"About what?" She asks, still waiting for the punchline here. His immediate family is nothing short of a village. She can't imagine why he would call her for any sort of advice when his support system and thus options are seemingly endless.

"I like this girl."

"Okay?" is her response because him calling her for girl advice leaves her more confused than she was at first, "Why would you call me for that, though? We hardly know each other, first of all. Second of all, you have plenty of qualified males in your life to help you out. I mean, your dad is obviously good with women, and don't you have married brothers?"

"Yeah, yeah, but I ain't want a nigga's perspective. I wanted a girl's perspective," he explains.

"You don't have a shortage of women in your life, either, Kutty."

"Yeah, but you a girl who be dating girls."

She squints as she slightly shakes her head because, "Aren't your mom and sister literally bisexual?"

"I actually have two bisexual sisters, but Mama and Shy are the same. They don't chase; they get chased so they couldn't help me. I ain't gon call Julie 'cause she stay having a attitude. Besides, I want a lesbian's perspective, like a stud or the nigga-lite lesbian perspective, I guess, and you are one of two that I know, and I hate Ashley."

"That's a bit of an oxymoron, Kutty," she says, even though she knows what he means, before asking, "What makes you think I'm butch anyway?"

"Well, if Shy likes you, you gotta be. She don't like girls like her," he trails off before adding, "Plus, you kinda just got that soft nigga type of vibe, like a boy but not completely. Anyway, how you get bitches?"

She sighs and gets back to working on her paperwork, "You start of by not calling them bitches," she mutters, shaking her head. She sighs, "I don't know, who's the girl? There is no one way to get a girl, it all depends on the girl."

He lets out a dreamy sigh, "Her name Keisha; she in my fourth block class. She, like, darkskin, short and she be wearing afros and shit. She so fine. She don't really be fuckin with me, though. I be tryna talk to her, but she don't give me the time of day."

"She could just not like you," JJ proposes.

"Nah, she do, and I know it 'cause she always be staring at me with a lil smirk on her face when she think I'm not lookin'," he explains and with a soft laugh he adds, "Plus, Mr. Jones read her notes in class today with her homegirl and she was talking about how fine I was and how pretty my eyes is."

"So, what do you need my help with?"

He huffs, "How do I get her to not treat me like a scrub, if I know she like me and she know I like her?"

"Alright," JJ rubs her eyes and tosses her pen down once more, "Well, what kind of things does she like?"

"Ion know."

"What is her favorite color?"

"Ion know," He answers.

"Do you know anything about her other than how she looks?"

"Nah," he answers.

She grips the bridge of her nose, "Well, that's probably why she doesn't talk to you. You don't treat her like a person. Take her off the little pedestal you got her on and get to know her. Once you get to know her, you'll know how to treat her. Let whatever happens from there, happen."

"That's how you pulled me sister?"

JJ paused, flashbacks of that night running through her head. Snapshot flashes of her dancing across the street to them talking at the bar to them grinding on each other on the dance floor, only for her mind to run back a full play by play of the two of them in the alley together. Every time she thinks about that night, everything leading up there replays too quickly for it be properly relived, but memories of the alley? They playback in full, slow motion, no details missed. She doesn't need to reminisce on any of that with anyone Jasira is related to, much less fourteen year old kid.

She grits her teeth, "Yep." She pauses, and he doesn't talk either. She chews her lip as she tries to hold back the questions she has about his sister, and she does fairly well. Except, "How does your sister feel about me? Like, do you guys ever, talk?" She asks, rubbing her eyes with her thumbs and the side of her index finger immediately after. She can't believe she even just asked that. She almost doesn't want him to even answer, but since she's already asked, she kind of needs his answer.

"Oh, yeah, she fuck witchu." He swears, "She don't really be talkin' 'bout you 'cause she don't like me in her business but I be on her Myspace page, and she be talkin' 'bout you on there. She changed the song on her page, too, after y'all started talkin' and you got ya own separate ringtone than everybody else."

JJ feels a warmth spread across her chest. She tries to bite back a smile, and she's nearly unsuccessful until she remembers that Jasira's out with some guy. It sends her flying from the sky straight back down to earth, and it hurts. She can't lie. She sits up in her chair, resting her elbows against her desk as she massages her temples.

"So, about this Josh guy…" she starts, but trails off. She can't bring herself to actually ask, but Kutty knows what she's asking.

Kutty hums, "Ion really know that much about him, but y'all look alike and y'all got the same initials. And, I know that 'cause I heard him tryna get her to call him JJ, when I was eavesdropping, but she just kept callin' him Josh."

JJ finds that tidbit to be oddly satisifying. Especially after she presses Kutty about what he means by the fact they look alike, and he explains that he doesn't just mean their basic phenotypes of being white, blonde with blue eyes. According to him, they've got similar noses and jawlines; his headshape is just wider, he swears. It makes the idea that Jasira is seeing him specifically because he reminds her of JJ feel significantly less ego driven than the thought felt when she first learned the similiarites of their names.

"He could be ya brother, no funny shit," Kutty swears, pausing before adding, "I could find out more about him and call you back."

JJ is quiet, for a good two minutes as she grinds her teeth back and forth, pondering that idea. Shame is creeping up on her as she considers it. Is she really about to ask a kid to spy on her not-girlfriend's other … whatever? She shouldn't; she really shouldn't. Especially because she had agreed that they weren't together, much less exclusive, and she was fine with that. Sure, she got queasy thinking about what else or who else Jasira could possibly be doing; jealousy was sickening as she was beginning to learn. But, she knew Jasira needed that freedom that she, herself, no longer requires.

Rarely discussed, there is an age difference between them and six years, in your twenties, isn't as small a gap as it sounds. Given her robbed experiences, her age and their distance, JJ completely understands the desire for her to be free and explore; she doesn't have any desire to hold her back from it, either. They're in different places, but neither of them see it as reason enough to walk away from each other. So, she truly is fine with it. It's just hard, sometimes.

As sickening of an emotion as jealousy was, this was an objectively ridiculous thing to agree to. But, she wants to know. She wants to feel better about her chances at being chosen; it's stupid, but she kind of needs to know, and she doesn't have enough information to go to another technical analyst and get information like that. Which, she recognizes would also be kind of, crazy, but she also recognizes that she's not above that. She's not above this, either, she realizes.

"Well, I'm not gonna ask you to do that, but if you really wanted to, I," she pauses, grimacing, trying to make space for herself to not actually give him the greenlight, "would answer my phone."

"Bet. Inspector K is at ya service," he smiles, wide as ever, "Usually, I would charge, but I actually want you to date my sister, so for you, free of charge."

The thanks she gives him is a bit dry, but he doesn't seem phased by it. He thanks her for help, swearing that he'll call her with updates. The two actually exchange cell phone numbers before hanging up. She gets back to work, while he turns over and forces himself to go to bed.

[winns-stuff]

INCOMING LO RANT (sorry if it’s long)

I have to get this very simple thing off of my chest. I do not like LO Hades at all, I don’t like him as a king, I don’t like him as a boss, I don’t like him as a friend, and I certainly don’t like him as a love interest. I hate him in general, there is literally nothing redeeming about his character nor has he ever shown any sort of progress. The only difference between LO Hades then and Hades now is that “he’s in love”, like I’m honestly so tired of him. He doesn’t consider anyone else’s feelings except for his own, and I know there’s gonna be people saying that “He considers Persephone’s feelings!!” yeah in some cases he does but in others he literally makes decisions for her. He acts like a fucking child and I’m so sick of it, he’s always rude to people who do nothing to him, he treats his employees like shit and he doesn’t even apologize to anyone about his piss poor attitude. It’s not attractive or sexy to be an asshole to everyone except for the person you “love” that’s just you being a terrible ass person. ALSO, not only that but I have other thoughts about the S3 premier but obviously I’m not going to disclose that out of respect for other people, but there’s a lot of things that irk the hell out of me about it. Bottom line is that he’s a weird ass predatory blue bastard and I absolutely despise that he’s just naturally “a good person” because the comic tells us he is, he’s never even shown any sort of compassion or care to anyone who isn’t Persephone.

Moving on to Persephone, I used to absolutely hate her and I never believed that she could have any sort of sympathy from me for personal reasons. Not saying that I didn’t feel bad about the things that happened to her, I always did but I’m just talking about her actions in general. But nowadays I’m looking at her in a new light, I feel terrible for her. These recent chapters have really showed me just how damn brainwashed she is, she doesn’t seem to have any agency for anyone who isn’t Hades and she constantly puts herself before Hades’ needs and wants. It’s just to a point where it feels like she feels obligated to just provide for him. It’s really getting clear that she only really lives for him, we don’t even see her other relationships outside of Hades or men in general, we don’t see her miss her mom, we don’t see her really bond with any of the nymphs outside of them being work buddies and it’s weird because you would think that they would have a closer relationship with what’s going on. Persephone never has any real friends and all the connections she did make were cut off or we don’t get to see much of it. I know it’s romantic comic and everything but I hate how isolated she seems, I know that the people that are on “Team Persephone” are there for her or whatever but it seems like they’re only there to push them together more. Not only that but we never get to see Persephone have any sort of motivation or ambition outside of something related to Hades. Maybe in S1 but that’s long been sacked and thrown out obviously, even her quest of becoming queen is just so that she could be with Hades. Not so she can improve the Underworld or anything just simply so they can settle down and have a family, it’s just so weird how obsessed they are with each other and it’s a very concerning way to love someone. I know the whole “but they’re happy together and a lot of couples are obsessed with each other” argument is there but I feel like it would make more sense if the couple had like years of experience with each other, dates, connections and emotional levels that they’ve reached with each other and that’s really lacking with Persephone and Hades because they literally only known each other for what? Three freaking weeks?? It just doesn’t scream “True love” but they don’t know much about each other.

Something else that really bothers me about this comic is that I genuinely don’t see it as a feminist comic. I don’t see it as a comic that shows strong badass female characters. I don’t even see it as a comic that represents women in general. I ever see RS make the relationships between the women of this comic catty or making them envy each other, it’s like if they don’t agree with the main characters they’re going to be “bitchy” or “dumb” or “slutty” and again, I don’t want to make it seem like I’m slut shaming but in the context given it is being used as negative connotations in this comic. But I hate that all the women of this comic always wants to tear the other women down, or how women who are more desired have to be sexual and how the women’s main powers are just simply seduction. Not talking about all of them but the majority of the women who are showcased the most have gotten into situations where they had to strip half naked or put on lingerie to gain power over the men. It’s all just stereotypical shit about women yet again and it goes against what a lot of feminists stand for. I hate that Persephone has just been watered down to be a fertile wife for Hades and I hate that Demeter’s valid concerns for her daughter mark her off as being a bitch. It’s so exhausting how RS keeps going on about how this is a feminist twist on the tale but doesn’t incorporate anything feminist worthy in the comic.

That’s the end of the rant though, and I want to make it clear that this is all very biased and it’s all completely my feelings and emotions towards the state of the comic nowadays so please don’t take any of this seriously and I don’t want to influence anyone to drop the comic because a lot of people find comfort in it and I used to as well so I understand. This comic can be great for some people but not very great for others and again these are only my opinions not facts at all and I even want more people to read it if they want. This has just been something that’s been on my mind for a while and I just wanted to say it, and I know it’s easier to just “not read the comic” and stuff but I’ve been so emotionally invested in it and felt so passionately about the comic that all the points I’ve made about it genuinely hurts to even read. I’ve always wanted this comic to succeed and I’ve always wanted this comic to be great and ignore its flaws, but the cons of this comic has outgrown the pros for me and I couldn’t just not say anything.

[the1weepinqguitar]

Why am I not surprised?

[img]http://www.rdos.net/eng/poly10c.php?p1=100&p2=80&p3=56&p4=65&p5=95&p6=100&p7=81&p8=67&p9=72&p10=74[/img]

so yeah i've been thinking abt it a lot.

autism.

[warning, this may become a rant. I feel super strongly about this topic and I think I should talk about my experiences with it.]

my dad has it really bad, his social skills are absolute crap. he has severe social anxiety and hyperfixates on stuff. i love 'im tho. he's wonderful when he gets out of his shell.

my sister has it too. she has a lot of trouble making friends at school and straight up avoids other kids her age because they think she's weird. she doesn't talk unless prompted to, and even then she doesn't say much. she hums to herself and stims a lot. she was diagnosed when she was a toddler, but my dad just found out abt his.

i think im just high-functioning, because although my social skills aren't great, i can still maintain relatively positive relationships with people without them dumping me for cooler people. i hyperfixate on random things from my ever-growing hoard of cds to my musical interests. i struggle a lot in school (and have the entire time) with paying attention and staying focused in classes I don't like. I was first labelled as "gifted" in second or third grade (us schools amiright)

I have gotten reprimanded many times for this because I "don't try hard enough to focus". I get so fucking pissed when my mom tells me to just "try harder" because sometimes i just can't do it, no matter what the punishment will be if I fail. Sometimes I can't.

It's hard sometimes because I have three younger siblings and I have to watch them and play with them for hours every day. I get drained really fast and I always end up shrinking back into my room, which gets me in huge trouble because I'm the oldest and it's my responsibility.

My mom insists that nothing is wrong and refuses to let me get therapy because she feels things like my gender and whether i'm neurodivergent or not don't matter in the "real" world (she pulled me out of therapy last year because i was trying to talk to my therapist about my gender dysphoria. And yes, I had to tell my mom what we talked about during each session or else I would've gotten punished. thanks, mom.). I don't feel valid in my home. I don't feel heard.

[pronoun pins, pride flags and fidget toys are banned in my home. I kept a secret fidget cube up until recently when my mom found it and got rid of it. little does she know, i also have a secret glow-in-the-dark fidget spinner i received a couple years back]

So here I am on my Tumblr blog of all places ranting about my shitty feelings and now you have to hear all about it. I'm sorry. I ran out of people to talk to.

Feel free to chat with me, it feels nice to actually be able to feel my real feelings.

have a nice day.

-ivan

[xaren-jo]

it's hilarious, really. i used to think that there's some intrinsic, immutable quality about me that would always expose me as "actually a woman" to everyone, no matter how i felt inside and no matter how i physically presented, so there was no use even trying.

but all it took was a haircut and a wardrobe change for people on the street to refer to me as "young man" without a second thought. i wish i could tell my younger self about this, about how easy it would be. well, okay, not easy, but. just that the gap is not insurmountable.

the thing that worries me is people taking a second, closer look, or hearing my voice, and realising what i am, and then the looks on their faces after that. sometimes it's just momentary confusion, but sometimes i think it's disgust? maybe anger? or maybe i'm just projecting my own insecurities onto strangers, i don't know. i wish i wasn't so dependent on other people's opinions about me.

some days, when i'm feeling happy and mischievous, i love being confusing. i like knowing that i don't fit into one rigid box. i like that some people will read me as one, and some as the other. i used to fall a little bit in love with people like that whenever i saw them as a kid, and it sparks joy knowing that i'm one of them after all, and i belong somewhere in the end, and it's a good thing to be what i am, actually.

other days, my skin crawls with a sense of wrongness whenever i go outside, like i'm not supposed to be there. i expect disgust and anger from people. it's unnatural to be what i am, immoral and scandalous. (i never did fully understand what's immoral about dykery/faggotry/gender fuckery, but i internalized it all the same.) seeing me is an unsettling experience, and parading myself out there is malicious, unconscionable, like exposing an innocent child to a mutilated corpse. how dare i offend people's senses with my presence? i should have tried harder to be what i'm supposed to be. the better option for me would be to hide, or to not exist at all.

nobody even got on my case yet, and i'm already wound up and tired. bah.

when i'm feeling less down and less complacent, it pisses me off knowing that there are people out there who think that i deserve to feel that way and even worse. i'm reminded of that every time i hear about the recent anti-lgbt laws, or when i hear a passing disdainful remark from colleagues or friends or family. they don't even aim it at me in most cases, but i've become oversensitive to such things, i think. i worry that i see offense where there isn't any, and when there actually is bad intent there, i'm paralyzed. i can't defend myself, because part of me believes the things they say.

i'm just trying to exist and do my thing. what did i ever do to deserve such hatred?

for the sake of my mood, i'd better finish this on a high note. so in other, better news, yesterday was a sunny day, and i went for a walk. i'm in need of a new jacket, but the trouble is, i'm even worse with men's fashion than i am with women's. i've no idea what kind of jacket do i want, and it doesn't just have to be fancy, it also needs to actually keep me warm. i went to a couple stores, but i couldn't find anything, so as i walked along the street, i looked at the men passing me by, trying to figure out what i liked or didn't like about the way they looked, and what i might borrow of their style for myself.

i wish i had a fashion savvy friend to go shopping with me... but anyway. all those men outside were so different from each other, every one of them handsome or cute or good looking in his own way. the clean and slick city boys dressed to impress and the workers in grimy clothes, with worry lines on their faces and dust deep in the creases on their palms. the younger guys, smooth-faced and with curls escaping from underneath their hats, the gruff older guys with dark sulky eyebrows and grey beards. the ones hurrying somewhere on very important business and the dreamers strolling carefree down the street.

ahem. got a bit carried away there. as i looked at them, there was that yearning that i have always felt, a recognition mixed with sadness and longing for something i can't have. but now there's also joy in knowing that i'm not a different breed from them after all. i'm bridging that gap. just gotta keep living and keep moving in the direction that makes me happiest.

[cas-coding]

my mom is being a dick so im making it all your guys problem because i dont have therapy until thursday

im going to put my vent below the cut because it will probably get triggering, but id appreciate if you guys would let me know any official terms for what my mom is doing to me/if there are any online resources to help

so my mom got home from work today and she was really pissed at everyone and everything. she yelled at me to take out the trash (which i usually do on tuesdays, but much closer to 5pm than the 3pm that it was at that moment) and i said sure let me finish this snack and if i have time before i have to pick up my brother, ill do it then. if not ill do it after.

she said okay and went back to her little candy crush game. two minutes later she tells me i need to pick up my brother. i say yeah i know. ill leave to pick him up at 4pm (which is roughtly 45 min away atp) and she sighs and says fine.

im like okay im not taking this bait. so i finish my snack and i do the garbage. then i pick up my brother and he's a dick to me too. leaves his metal waterbottle on the floor of my car where it will bang around and distract me from driving (i have drivers ocd and a lot of driving anxiety, so ive told him multiple times not to do this and hes usually good with it) and then my brother is all dramatic about getting out of the car and his knee hurting (he is 15) and i say the house isnt that far but im sorry it hurts and he calls me a bitch. what was i supposed to say

but anyway back to my mom. i havent told her my daily stories yet (and i know im fortunate to have parents that care about my day to day) so i tell her this story relating to my friend. i say hey he's been doing this recently and it's annoying and i wish he would stop. i talked to him about it a couple times and he wont stop.

my mom looks me dead in the eye and asks me why im so dramatic about everything. why does it bother you so much. its your fault. get over it. stuff like that. and she says it in this perfectly nice loving mothering voice. im sorry, what?

i said that ive asked him to stop and we've had conversations and he wont. i said its not my fault im trying, please don't say that to me. and my mom just keeps going on, saying oh youre overreacting, just get over it, why are you so pissy with all of your friends.

so im like emotionally exhausted and i blurt out that i have trauma from past friends. my second grade best friend moved away and then ignored my phone calls. my fourth grade best friend moved across the country and never responded to my (five!!!) letters. i told my seventh grade best friend that i thought i might not be a girl (surprise, im a trans man) and she called me the t-slur (i know i can say it, but i really dont like it because of this experience). i told my mom that that friend then went on to tell all of my high school friends (who only knew my chosen name) my birth name and then those friends struggled to use my chosen name ever again because 'oh your birth name fits you so much better!'

and you know what my mom said? she started lecturing me. how i cant let people hurt me. how its my fault i get mad at people. how im the reason no one wants to be my friend. how im damaged goods because of all the shit i wont get over. etc.

and i dont care if my mom makes me food. i dont care if she gives me a house to live in. that's bare minimum and i am not required to love her for that.

and she's never once proved to me that she deserves my love, so in ten years when shes wondering why i never call, this is only one reason why. she does this in so many ways and so many scenarios that i dont know how anyone tolerates her.

as soon as i can financially leave her, i will, and i will never look back.

[thetruthaboutnolan]

HOW HAS IT BEEN RECENTLY?

Smooth sailing, nice and quiet again. That’s probably from the Bitch Be Gone spray haha. Some still occasionally try to start a convo by laughing at the crazy fans I got as a not so subtle way of bringing them up as a conversation though. But the general consensus is that they are just drama llamas, obsessed with me, and at this point just laughable at how bitter they are that life has been great to me and not them.

It’s fun seeing but not as fun as the time I have in the groups I made and run and those I staff on. Joined a couple of others to where my posting is laxed. Had a few questions on there since I did use the Nolan alias but they just felt sorry that I had some stalker still.

WHY ARE THEY SO OBSESSED STILL AMOST A DECADE LATER?

Because they have no life outside of thinking of me? I had a recent conversation with several people about things like this and how some people just get an almost sex like high over assholes to other people. It ranges from their own lives being shitty, having no purpose in life, or just being too stressed from having to live that they get a thrill out of making up drama, bullying others, and stressing others out online. It helps with how easy it is to keep yourself hidden, pretend to be someone else, spread make up stories enough that people subconscious register things as ‘fact’ since they heard it so many times.

In my own experience, I just happened to piss off one person who had an over inflated sense of self worth and ego. A narcissist who believed they were too good for anyone to dare not like and worse, openly show they didn’t like this person. So their need to get a thrill out of being a bully, a stalker, and their narcissistic patterns had forced them to DARVO me while making sure that if this one person who was so important in the rpc hated me then everyone else had to as well.

It’s also irony that this person would then later delete everything and instruct people to stop harassing and talking about me and their issue with me then leave the rpc. It also is extremely telling that everyone else has also given up on it. Everyone that Raven questioned 10 years ago has since admitted that they either start up lied about what they told Raven or blamed things going on in their groups on me because it was just easier than admitting they had fights with other people.

It’s not just people I never interacted with or friends of a friend of the person who admitted they made up their story that seem to wanna keep stalking me.

Was I the perfect gentleman who never did anything? Nah. I would post and continue to be part of communities back then thinking there were no issues if no one said anything. How was I meant to know that sending someone an ask asking them if they saw my post and were planning to reply was a bad thing when they messaged me how sorry they were for not doing so yet and would do that in the hour? Or that how I posted making my own character move around in posts was being a friend who never said anything feel like he was being power played because he felt he had to react to everything I made my character do instead of plan out their own post their own way? Especially when they would tell me they loved my posts and would post within minutes all day with me?

But as long as no one said anything negative, I always just assumed things were good. And to be honest, I didn’t give a shit and fully made myself believe that as long as no one came to me about anything or said anything publicly then everything was fine. If they did, we talked and I did everything I could til they said they were good again and went back to my delulu thinking it’s all fine. And if something like what happened on WOTNA went down where they suddenly turned hostile and were coming at me, I swung back and hit them harder than they hit me. It’s been TEN YEARS now I’ve learned not to just think everything is great just because people laugh and smile and talk with me like we’re best friends. I’ve learned a lot of people keep things in because they think someone will go off on them if they say anything. That I have to take this possibility into consideration and check in with people more and more.

Growth and making sure everyone is happy and good is something that happens in life. While the latter may be a goal we will never truly achieve, I just always believed back then that as long as no one said anything they were happy. Growth is hard and at times confusing but some of us can do it. I have, but it seems my fans are still in that immature mindset of thinking bullying and harassing someone is fun and good to do as long as that person is ‘the bad guy’ in their eyes. They haven’t matured or grown but dived deeper in their insecurities and immature child like way of thinking. It’s sad and they really need to talk to someone about it.

As for those that made up rather insane stories about me….. I dunno never knew these people existed or just didn’t care about them as I never knew them or interacted in any way. Get some help? Or at least try to get better? I know a lot of you guys are eternal victims of multiple people and/or are the types that get a thrill out of being bullies and then play victim so everyone gives you internet hugs. Poor creatures. When you have to make yourself known as a victim just to get the satisfaction that Internet strangers feel sorry for you…. Well, there something wrong with you mentally and you really need to talk to someone or just move on from the internet. Especially those of you who are parents, why do internet strangers matter to you at all?

[tomyo]

Kingdom hearts 3, finally finishing it 4 years later

A game I honestly didn't think would be off this list for a while. I bought the game when it came out and then never finished it because I was using my roommate's PS4.

Recently a friend lent me his PS4 now that the PS5 exists and after months of con season I finally sat down with it. I had intended to start from scratch until I learnt the several hours I played on the guest account where erased and my sanity would not allow several hours of tutorial again.

In the end, I bought a psn membership and reached out to that old roommate which was a nice experience. I missed them but have always just been to much in my bullshit to reach out until apparently *this*.

Maybe the funniest thing to say about all of this is this is my first and only time I've played a kingdom hearts game meaning my gameplay expectations were average. I had a goofy fun time after not having to play Olympus a third time and I relate to smooth brained Sora a lot, vaguely I get what's going on but I don't give too many shits. Yeah the start of the key blade war was a mess but my little gay ass cried at every XIII trio and co moment. That ending CG cutscenes was too short but I could easily wax on about how these characters have constantly sacrificed and gone through tragedy often in the name of each other and the hope that those in front of them could move forward. The prequel trio went through tragedy, the main trio constantly just out of reach from each other, the XIII trio stuck in an amnesiatic limbo and so forth. The fact most of them got to literally do fun kind shit together was a nice miracle.

Also bawled at the union cross cameos even though I barely played it. I love tragedy and I did earlier this weekend stop to let my avatar cry scared at their own death in the middle of war so the idea that maybe some actual users got to see their names on screen attacking the enemies but hard. Even though I haven't played the series, it's a permanent part of my life just from the cultural zeitgeist it caused in my adolescence. I wish they gave it more impact if anything but I get it, it wasn't something everyone was for.

Obviously though the biggest issue is Kairi per usual. Utada's song are sort of like a thematic tone to each chapter in the series with a theory that Kairi's designs being inspired from Utada's image at each point. Chikai is not just a love song but a wedding song, the progression from an immature and insecure relationship in the first one to one stubbornly proclaiming it's now or never with your devotion to me. It's a song meant to stand at the end of everything, it's someone waiting for you to meet them in the distance. I remember desperately trying to avoid spoilers for these past four years but being suggested from what I couldn't avoid that Kairi had proposed marriage to Sora at the end. It's also usually Kairi who gets a lot of attention in the CG openings and endings. The natural idea of this all is that it's sealing the idea of Sora and Kairi recognizing each other as a couple and potentially a maturing relationship from when they were children even though like, I don't even think two years have passed in world??? Either way she gets worse than nerfed at the end. You don't get to play as her, she doesn't get to do A N Y T H I N G aside from being said to still believe in Sora and be his emotional angst. And then she is kidnapped and killed. The worst is it failed to make it matter to me. The are a lot of reasons why everything with Kairi just did not hit any emotional level whatsoever as a Kairi stan. Riku had more romantic tension with himself on the beach honestly. And yes, I acknowledge there was literally a gay rainbow bonded key blade. I didn't really ever ship anything with kingdom hearts but I now believe in Sora and Riku I guess. Also the old dudes probably making out. Yeah, wasn't even pissed at that anticlimactic heel turn with the big baddie. Side note, buying the game was 100% worth it to have the immersive experience of Goofy and Donald call out for my from the controller. A+. Just, man, Kairi was more blank than wood this game despite them trying to say she was important. I think for a series so central on the bond of it's trios, keeping her out of the main fights was such a bummer.

Also I am not paying $30 for the dlc when I have already given the game $70+ of my money. I will absolutely watch a video of that instead.

Either way I'm happy I can finally watch videos that sat in my YouTube watch later since 2019 and I happily look forward to KH4. Bitches who know me know I'm a sucker for Shibuya and honestly I should have bought the world ends with us in the ds when i had the chance. Might come on my lists because street style is so big in that game.

With that one of the two most intensive games on this list can be crossed off. The other being GTA 5 but I also don't really plan to jump on that anytime soon. More concerned with playing the Kinect games on my 360 lmao.

[alyjojo]

Love Reading 💐- June 2023 - Scorpio

Singles:

Overall energy: The World

How you will meet: 9 Swords rev

How they will treat you: Knight of Cups

Long-term Potential: Page of Cups rev & 8 Wands

Oracle: Get your quick fix.

This person is probably a recent ex, someone you dated off and on where there was a lot of heat but not much substance. At least that’s what I’m getting from their messages. It’s for closure, or that’s what will come of it. You’re getting the clarity you need, though you don’t feel that great about it, and you don’t know how to, or if you even want to move forward with this person. You or they are returning to heal old wounds, talk it out. They may be romantic towards you, or just loving & kind generally. It’s like they won’t even try to be all passionate & Knight of Wands like with you, because they know it pisses you off, but that IS how you know them to be, messages confirm that. Or one of you are with someone already. Long term, no messages, you/they/both will get over this and it’s over. I don’t get any one person being wrong here, and both sides seem to be owning up to their part of the problems, so the closure should end up feeling good for you both. It’s definitely a natural ending to a cycle that’s existed for you both, and now you’re onto new beginnings elsewhere, The World. Even the Oracle shows it’s not going to last long.

Messages -

Their side:

- GET NAKED

- Sexually driven

- Emotionally Immature

Your side:

- Childish

- I can’t STAY

- Quietly Observing

Signs you may be dealing with:

Leo, Sagittarius, Libra, Aquarius & Pisces

Couples:

Overall energy: King of Cups

Current: 5 Pentacles

Challenge: Page of Cups

How they feel about you: 5 Cups

How you feel about them: The Star & 3 Cups

Outcome: 3 Wands & 10 Wands

I don’t think this is actually a partner, this seems more like a really good friend that’s coming out with feelings, like they’ve been holding back that they’re in love with you. If that’s the case, you already know based on your views of them, because you’ve probably rejected them and don’t see them that way. You’re probably with someone else too. It’s possible you work together, and have great chemistry, maybe you don’t talk about your romantic life much, and when this person finds out you’re with someone, they’re devastated about it, possibly because that news is piggybacking off of them making a move on you, and you having to say no. They’re embarrassed.

You’re doing the honorable thing, refusing to get involved with this person, they seem to have gotten the wrong idea from whatever has you two in each other’s company, probably work or something that has you working together for now. The challenge is continuing to have to talk to them and be nice, but not too nice, Temperance. Finding an even path where you’re not giving off any mixed signals, and also not being a jerk because you don’t want that either, I don’t think you wanted any of this. How they feel is very sad and disappointed you’re already involved, probably a little humiliated, mostly disappointed in themselves for not seeing things as they really are, they’re ashamed of that and being pretty hard on themselves.

How you feel about them is knowing they hoped there would be more here, and that they’re sad it didn’t happen. The friendship seems to have taken a major hit along with this as well, which disappoints both of you. The outcome seems to be both of you just waiting for the burden & awkwardness to end, waiting for things to change, and they will. Eventually.

Messages -

Their side:

- I love to surprise you 😯

- I like you but am afraid to tell you.

- Uncomfortable Tendencies 🥴

Your side:

- Follow My Lead

- I’m happy where I am

- Too Different

Oracles -

Peace, Love and Yoga Pants ☮️

Their side: If you had a bad childhood, use that experience to make yourself stronger. Be a survivor.

Your side: Don’t be afraid to take a stand against injustice; complacency makes you weak.

Signs you may be dealing with:

Scorpio, Capricorn, Aries, Sagittarius, Gemini, Cancer & Virgo

[dark-muse-iris]

As a point of clarification because I got some DMs about it, my Walgreens PSA applies to the United States (where I live). The tracking and selling of customer data would apply to anyone making a transaction on U.S. soil, including territories subject to federal law. As far as I'm aware, this recent problem with the formula did occur during a nationwide shortage (although I've heard conflicting accounts from friends with children; some have plenty of formula and others are struggling).

Other remarks under the cut:

Privacy laws are different in other countries and I have read that a few actually protect their citizens. 😅 However, the United States is subject to a LOT of surveillance and have been for years. Many people who live here (especially natural-born citizens born after 2001) don't understand how extensive it is and what it is being used for, hence my post. Since the vast majority of internet traffic coming to my blog is from within the U.S., I'm compelled to say something now so people who live here can take steps to protect themselves.

This directly impacts people with uteruses living in "red" states, however multiple people living in "blue" states have also had issues getting medication. These stories are widely circulating on Twitter and have been corroborated with receipts. Many people nationwide have been refused medical care and supplies based on religious grounds in recent weeks. NOTE: This is an expansion of the racial, LGBTQ+, and disability prejudices which have already existed for several decades.

More innocent people are going to die from preventable deaths within the next couple months and so information-sharing is critical. I do most of this on Twitter, but occasionally cross-post here when I'm pissed off and see it as a moral imperative.

I realize this isn't related to writing or k-pop and some of y'all would prefer to marinate in distractions instead and pretend this crisis won't ever touch you. That's understandable, but it's a privilege many communities don't have and never did. Because I'm a millennial and learned how to navigate healthcare and privacy concerns pre-internet, I'm trying to prevent people in my country from ending up on tracking lists simply because they felt nauseous and bought a pregnancy test.

NOTE: I'm not a doctor, but I know a lot about what's coming with all this because I'm an exvangelical who was forced to work in "crisis pregnancy centers" as a child before I got out. I've also been trained in doomsday prepper tactics since childhood and have used that to help friends who needed to get out of bad situations for the last decade. (In case y'all didn't know 😅) Both of those experiences have afforded me a less conventional perspective on what's happening to us right now and my solutions range from creative to illegal in some states.

Hope this clarification helps!

[dahliamalfoy97]

KNIFED UP

|BILLY LOOMIS|

SMUT WARNING!!

Ellie has a dark kink and Billy experiments

Pairing: Billy Loomis x f!reader

Word Count: 3,959

Warning: SMUT 18+, degradation, knife play, vaginal penetration, anal penetration, rope-bunny, dark themes, smut, smut SMUT!!!

I pressed my thighs together in desperate attempt to create some friction as I watch my boyfriend Billy play with his knife in his hand. The same knife he used to kill people with for he was the killer of Woodsboro. The one wearing a ghost face , and scaring his victims until he'd stab them with it. I was in love with a serial killer. A fucked up psycho. You wonder why I would be in love with such a monster. But this monster saved me from a rough life. I had been sold to a prostitution ring, my parents had sold me themselves, because they wanted money for themselves and I was just an inconvenience to them, and so I had no choice but to be used and abused by dirty sick fucks because if I fought back, they'd kill me. it was one night I was bought by a mysterious man. This man turning out to be Billy,  he had bought me to save me from my horrible life, only if I'd do what he wanted. that was to be his Bonnie to his Clyde. His partner in crime. so I agreed. he took me in and introduced me to the life of a serial killer. together, we took out the prostitution rings and my parents.  I don't know how he found me, he never told me how but I was grateful to him. So I was never afraid of him, in fact I even fell in love with him. Which oddly enough he fell in love with me too. There was just this unspoken connection between us. I was drawn to his darkness and he was drawn to my light. We were an unstoppable force and dangerous couple. Bonnie and Clyde for life.

This year we were in Woodsboro going after a girl named Sidney Prescott who's mother ended up having an affair with Billy's dad and ended up ruining Billy's family. We had to get Sidney Prescott's trust before we revealed who we were, so that meant we had to pretend to be related and Billy had to pretend to date her, which pissed me off but I knew in the end it was just an act and he'd always come back to me. I was always the one he was fucking every day and every night Stu Macher, his guy best friend who was also in on our killing plan. He was pretending to date Tatum Riley, Sidney's best friend and it was the 3 of us wreaking havoc in Woodsboro and getting revenge.

The three of us were sitting in Billy's basement discussing our next victim. We had recently just killed Casey and Steve. Two of Woodsboro's popular students, it was all over the news and Gale Weathers was constantly talking about it. we were watching the news and Billy was playing with his knife. AndI was in his chair watching, desire pooling between my thighs as I envisioned what it would be like if he fucked me with it. The way he handled the knife was so fucking hot and I wanted him to handle me the same way.

Lost in my mind, I accidentally let out a soft moan, catching the attention of both boys. Billy's dark eyes piercing into my half lidded ones. His lips curled into a knowing smirk.

"What was that for?" He asks standing up from the couch him and Stu were sitting on, and walks over to me. He kneels down in front of me. Knife still in his hand.

"Nothing," i lie, my heartbeat beating fast. So fast I thought i was going to jump out of my chest with how deeply he was staring at me. As if he was stripping me bare with his eyes. And I knew he was.

He raises his eyebrows, "Nothing?"

He takes the knife and presses it against my throat, but he doesn't cut me, he just rests it there, licking his lips as i shiver at the feeling of the cold metal against my skin.

"Pet, I know you and I know when you're lying , do you know what happens when you lie to me?"

I swallow thickly, "i get punished."

He hums in approval, "That's right, doll. Now the question is, do you want me to punish you and have Stu watch or do you want Stu to leave?"

I bite my lip looking between Billy and Stu, Stu is smirking at me, this wasn't anything new. Or the first time that Billy would punish me in front of Stu. He loved to do that a lot. And so did I.

"He can watch if he wants."

Billy chuckles, "Such a dirty little slut. Isn't she a dirty little slut, Stu?'

"You guys are really going to do this again in front of me?" Stu whines, but there's a look of humor in his eyes, "It really does get old. I don't understand why you two horny fucks don't wait til I've left."

I just laugh, "Because it's fun having you watch, Macher."

Stu just shakes his head, "You are fucked in the head, Ellie, just like Billy."

"Well so are you, Stuart. You're just as fucked up as the two of us."

He rolls his eyes, "But I don't go fucking Tatum in front of you two."

Both Billy and i wrinkle our noses, "Because that would just be gross to watch, " I reply. "When it would just be more fun to watch you kill her in front of us."

Billy nods at me with pride in his eyes. "We'll get to that eventually, Doll. For now, Stu, are you watching us or you taking your cue to get the fuck out of here?'

But the tall airhead is already scrambling off the couch,  "I think I'll save my eyes from the free porno this time. See you horny motherfuckers later." and with that he's stomping up the stairs. And slamming the door behind him as he leaves.

Leaving Billy and I alone.

" I think we should take this punishment upstairs, doll."

Before I can have a chance to respond, he's scooping me up in his arms and carrying me up the stairs., his knife still in his right hand, right under my ass.

When we get up to his room, he places me on the edge of his bed.

"Now tell me, doll,” He says, staring at me with lust, "What were you moaning about earlier?"

I bite my lip. "It's a dirty thought."

"I mean I suspect nothing less from my dirty slut," he steps away from the bed and goes to the side table, opening the drawer to pull out the red rope. And my thighs clench together in excitement as I knew what was coming.

"Eh eh," Billy teeters, "No keep those pretty legs open," Then he forces me to lay on the bed, tying my hands to the bed post above me, and tying my legs to the end of the bed. Spreading them out as wide as they would go. Splaying me out like his own personal fuck doll. This was his favorite position he liked to fuck me in. Spread out and tied up. Ready for him to use in however he pleased.

"Look at my little fuck doll, all set up and ready for me to fuck. Which is exactly what you want me to do, but I am not going to give you what you want unless you tell me what you were moaning about earlier. What were you imagining in that pretty head of yours?"

I watch as he takes the blade of his knife and licks it with his tongue, causing me to whimper at the erotic sight.

"I was imaging you fucking me up with your knife, I want your knife in my pussy."

He laughs darkly, "What a dirty little slut, wanting me to fuck you with the knife that I use on my victims, you want to make a mess all over my knife? hmm? Is that was makes you so wet down here?"

He hovers over me and in between my legs, his fingers grazing the my panties, which are soaked with raw arousal, causing me to moan at the slight tease.

"Fuck you're soaked, all ready for me ruin, you want me to ruin you with my knife? You want me to slice you open with my knife?" He taunts, slowly running the blade up and down my bare thigh, and up towards the edge of my core, lightly teasing my clothed core,  causing me to suck in breath of anticipation and need. "Is that what you want, you dirty little slut?"

I nod frantically,  "yes, please. I want you to fuck me up with your knife, Sir."

He chuckles darkly , before carefully cutting my panties in half with his knife, ripping them off and revealing my wet pussy before  him, "So fucking naughty you are, for your Master," He lightly teases my folds with the blade, coating my juices on the cold metal, his eyes darkening to almost black with a primal, almost animalistic look. As I tremble in desire at the feeling of its icy fingers teasing me so carefully, for one wrong movement, and he could gut me right there. For I was at the will of his mercy. I was under his control. Helpless to escape from his dark pursuit on my pussy with the famous knife he uses to stab his victims with. The feeling was scarring but exhilarating at the same time and I wanted more.

"Please, Master," I whine desperately, "stop teasing me and fuck me with that thing."

His knife leaves my pussy, and in a blink of an eye, he's cutting all of my clothes off, so that I am officially naked underneath him. Naked and helpless.

then without warning, he's slowly pushing the handle of his knife into my wet folds, his mouth curling into a predatory smile, as he watches my pussy lips stretch around the handle of his knife, i cry out at the hardness of the handle, scraping against my tight velvet walls, filling me in a new way.

"Fuck," We say in unison.

"I swear your pussy was made just for me, doll, look how well it takes my knife, you're my personal fuck doll, aren't you, love?"

I nod, as the hilt of the handle is all the way in, I look down to see the blade protruding out of me, my walls fluttering desperately around the weapon, the sight is disturbing as it is sinful.

"This is one of my fantasies too, doll, I've always wanted to fuck you with my knife," He growls, while slowly pulling the knife out before shoving it back in one sharp thrust, causing me to cry out, as one thrust turned into a series of brutal thrusts, in and out of my pussy, my walls desperately trying to stretch around the foreign object that was invading my tight space. It was a little painful, but the pain is what made me drown in waves of ectasy. It was such a good feeling, I try to arch and push myself further down the handle, but It's in as far as it can go, and the thought of this weapon inside me and abusing it in such blasphemous way was turning me on more and more. "You look soo good around my knife, like the good little slut you are."

"it feels so good, Master," i whimper, as he quickens his pace, going deeper and deeper with each thrust, hitting my g-spot every time, tears are staining my cheeks, and my legs are shaking as i feel the white hot sensation taking over me, as my climax continues to build higher and higher. The need becoming to great to let go. "I'm going to cum."

"Go on, cum all over my knife. Make a mess on my knife,". He demands, "cum like the cumslut you are."

Those dirty words are what send me over the edge, and I release all over his knife and we both watch in fascination as my orgasm coats his blade and drips down to the tip.

"That has to be the hottest thing I have ever seen, " He finally pulls out the knife, a squelching sound follows, and I suddenly feel empty and spent. "do you think you got more in you for another experiment, doll?"

I nod, "yes, use me however you want, Sir."

"Here I want you to lick this clean while, I untie you," He orders, and I nod in agreement.

he shoves the handle into my mouth causing me to gag a little, my juices coating my tongue from my orgasm, I can taste myself.

"you look so fucking dirty right now, with that in your mouth."

Then he quickly unties my legs and my hands, I watch as he strips out of his own clothes, revealing his honey toned body, carved like the sinful devil he is. His length standing stiff and tall against his stomach, precum smearing on his stomach.

"look how hard you fucking made me, you slut, and now I am going to make you feel how hard you made me."

then in one fluid motion he's spinning me around, pushing my head down on the bed, with my ass facing up, he doesn't even give me a moment to breathe, before I feel his tip prodding my entrance from behind, and sheathes himself fully inside me, in one swift thrust. Causing me to whimper and him to growl at the sudden intrusion. he was so much bigger than his knife. Stretching me out even wider, my walls clench around his cock. I could feel every vein brushing against me, sending me into overdrive as he goes at a fast and unrelenting pace, his balls slapping against my ass so hard I'm sure there'd be bruises later. He loved to decorate my  skin in bruises.

"You are so fucking tight for me, doll. I bet that knife doesn't reach as deep as my cock does, does it?"

But I'm too lost in the feeling of him fuckng me so harshly, that I don't respond. I am to caught up in how good he feels.

I feel a sharp slap on my ass, and I clutch the sheets tightly, relishing in the pain and pleasure of his brutal punishment.

"answer me slut. I asked you a question. Which means you have to reply or I won't let you cum."

He yanks me up by my hair sharply, so that my head is against his chest and wraps his band around my neck. Squeezing tightly, fûcking me even harder if that's even possible.

"Fucking answer!" He yells.

"No your knife doesn't feel as good as your cock, master. Nothing makes me feel as good as you do," I choke out, my voice hoarse from his hand around my throat. I could see stars with how hard he was squeezing. But I fûcking loved it.”

He laughs sinisterly, "that's right you little slut and don't you forget it. You're my dirty little masochistic slut, you take whatever pain I give you is that right?"

"Oh yes. Yes. Yes. I love the pain, the pain is so fûcking good. I love the way you use me as your fuck doll."

"You're doing so good for me, doll. Such a good good girl."

He pulls my face back and gives me sloppy, hard kiss on the mouth, then he pries it open and spits in it. Choking me again.

"You're so hot choking on my spit. Fuck. I love this pretty little body of yours. It's the perfect cum dump for my cock. Such a good fucking hole for me to split open. Over and over and you just take it like the good little slut you are. You're so fûcking perfect, doll."

"I love you Billy," I choke out. My high rising up again.

"I love you too, Doll, are you ready to cum for me again? I can feel you clenching around me. So I know you're close. I'm close too."

"Yes, Master, I'm going to cum."

He turns me around, so my back is on the bed again, not pulling out once. He puts my legs over his shoulder, changing the angle into a much deeper angle. Constantly hitting my spot over and over again. Until it becomes too much and im a series of moans and whimpers as I shake around his cock. Arching as my orgasm takes over.

"That's it, make a mess all over my cock."

His pace slows a bit as I milk his cock, coating it with my cum.

"Alright one more thing for me love."

he unleashes himself into me, ropes of cum filling me up to the brim.

"Your pussy looks so pretty when it's full of my cum, but I'm not done with you yet."

Tiredly I nod because I'd do anything he'd ask of me.

He flips leans over and kisses me on the lips, I weave my hands into his silky brown locks and return the kiss with raw hunger and passion, our tongues meeting in dance, our skin touching skin in all the right places. Then he pulls away, brushing a strand of hair out of my face, caressing it softly.

"Do you trust me?" He asks, this was the side that nobody ever saw except for me, the side that I only ever brought out. The caring and thoughtful side that was often hidden by his anger and hatred towards the rest of the world. But I was the one person he would never hate. He could never.

I nod grinning softly at him, "Always Billy."

His eyes turn dark again, that devious grin taking over his face, turning him into the dangerous man he was, causing me to bite my lip and excite me once more for what he had in store. His darkness made me feel things that could never be explained. The forever crave of his darkness was something I was always hungry for. He brought out the dark side in me, because of me, I had become someone strong instead of someone always running from the dark, I had embraced it. Because of him, I could be powerful because he made me feel powerful, his love made me feel like I was a goddess.  I couldn't live without him.

"Can you get on all fours, and face your pretty ass towards me once more?"

I nod and follow suit.

Then blackness takes over my vision, and I know he's blindfolded me. Encasing me in darkness, his darkness and I would just have to follow and see what he had in store. I had to trust. Which I did. Wholeheartedly.

I feel him caressing my ass cheeks, tracing a finger over my other hole. The one that he would use sometimes.

"another thing I love, is this pretty pink ass hole of yours, every inch of you is just so fucking pretty. It's all art for me. Art for me to ruin and destroy."

I feel him push a finger in slowly, and I moan at the sudden tightness. "You are so fucking tight."

He works his finger in deeper, thrusting it in and out slowly, before adding another, stretching me out even farther. I'm about to cum when he pulls his fingers out suddenly. I whine in protest but am cut off by something cold and hard pushing it's way into my tight hole.

He whistles, "And I thought this knife going into your pussy was the hottest sight ever, but I Think I like it in your pretty asshole even more because it just stretches it out, fuck, I am going to fill all your holes up."

i shiver at this new revelation, understanding what was going to happen, and I almost cum on the spot right there.

"Your pussy is still dripping for me so I don't need to prepare."

then he's pushing his cock into my pussy, with the handle of the knife still buried in my ass.

"You're even tighter than before, how is that even possible?" he growls, "you always feel so fucking good around my cock."

Then he starts rocking his hips into me again, while moving the knife in and out of my asshole at the same time, I had never felt so full in my life. So stretched and full at the same time.

"oh my god,"I mutter through incoherent mumbles.

"That's right, I am your god, you little cockslut, and I am in control of all these holes. All these holes belong to me, for me to use and fuck however I please. Isn't that right doll?"

"Y-y-yes , " I stutter frantically, "fuck me however you want."

"You like me fucking both of your holes at the same time?"

"yes, yes, yes," I chant his name over and over again like a mantra.

"Fuck, you should see how my knife is fucking up your asshole."

he picks up his pace even more brutal than before, systematically hitting my spot over and over with his cock, and slowly with his knife in my asshole. The sensation was too much. I was too full and I wasn't going to last long. Even though I am blinding, I can see stars again.  As he pounds into me relentlessly.

"What a good girl, taking all of me. You really are my fuck doll, such a perfect and pretty fuck doll. I fucking love how wrecked you look right now. It is such a beautiful sight. Do you think you can come for me one more time?"

I feel the handle twist inside, in an out, "yes, Master."

"Then cum for me, my little slut."

Not able to hold back, I let go, and cum harder than I have ever done before, there was so much coming, I could feel him give a few more thrusts before cumming inside me once more. His cum filling me up to the brim.

"You are so fucking good for me, Ellie. I love you."

I feel the handle leave my hole, and my blindfold is removed. I turn to see him licking my juices off the handle, humming in satisifaction. "you taste so fucking good."

He starts to pull out, but I reach out and stop him, "No, don't pull out, stay. Please," I beg, not wanting to detach from him just yet, I wanted to revel in the feeling of him being inside a little bit longer.

He nods, smiling, before flipping us over, so that I'm lying on top, then he kisses my forehead and then my lips.

"Are you okay?" He asks. "Was that too much?"

I shake my head, sleepy and still drunk from our high "No, it was perfect."

"Did it live up to your fantasies?"

"And so much more."

he chuckles, "don't be afraid to hide your kinks from me, no matter how dark they are. I will let you explore all your kinks,"

"I mean they have to be dark when I'm dating a serial killer."

His eyes darken, but a smile plays on his lips, "you gotta be a little fucked up to love me the way you do."

"I love being fucked up for you.Billy."

"I love fucking you up. You're mine and no one else's."

"I'm all yours, Billy."

He kisses me on the lips once more, "go to sleep, love."

I fell asleep with Billy Loomis, the killer still inside of  me.

"such a beautiful honor, to call you mine, " he whispers before drifting off.

[maria-akira]

good girls don't get used: michael langdon x fem! reader

—♡—

READ PART 2 HERE

summary: michael langdon, your ex, falls into a bet wherein he has to (fake) date you. if he falls in love again, he loses and doesn't get the prize.

warnings: private school au, fuckboy!michael, slight mention of sexual topics + i didnt proofread this mwahaha

this fic is inspired by the song 'good girls (don't get used)' by beach bunny.

i don't know if other private schools have bells, because mine doesn't :(

italicized bold words are direct lyrics from the song. but in this chapter, there are none since this is like an intro :)

—♡—

"Dude, shut the fuck up."

"Are you kidding? She really said that?"

"You really think that's gonna happen?"

"Who's class do you have first?"

Voices of different students flooded the white and grey hallways of the school. Different friend groups and teachers can be seen roaming the halls, getting stuff from their respective lockers as they waited for the bell to ring.

"Y/N! Do you mind if I borrow your calculator? I forgot mine at home and Math is my next class." She said while panting.

"Sure, here it is. If you lose it, I'd probably drop kick your ass." Y/N let out a small laugh and grabbed the calculator from her locker, giving it to her friend.

"Gosh, Y/N. I'll never lose it! I'll give it back during recess. Thanks again!" She flashed Y/N a smile and waved bye, before returning to her locker.

Y/N looked at herself in the mirror she had on her locker, fixing the tie that always seemed to be out of place whenever she checked. Her hair was neat, complete with a white headband that complimented the color of her school's uniform.

A few seconds later, the bell rang and everybody started rushing. Different couples were seen kissing before they parted ways for the mean time.

Cringe. Y/N thought. She shrugged it off and held her books tightly to her chest, walking to her next class.

Walking straight into the classroom, she noticed a group of guys dart their eyes to her direction as she entered. They gave her weird smirks. In return, she stared back at them while she made her way to her seat and never broke eye contact. Eventually, she noticed a familiar face among the group.

Michael, her ex.

How the fuck is he in my English class? She thought, along with a whole hundred thoughts roaming around her head. Michael stared back at her, giving her a wink.

Y/N's face gave a hint of disgust, "The fuck do you want, Langdon?" She stood up from her seat and walked over to Michael, pushing his other friends. She heard his friends coo and tease Michael for his act towards her.

Michael put up his hands in defense, "Chill, is it bad to wink at a pretty girl like you?" He said with a smug look, while he grazed his hand over her arm.

"Shut the fuck up, Langdon. Don't you ever touch me." Y/N slapped his hand away, his friends taken aback from her actions. As she walked back to her seat, the teacher entered as well.

Y/N put her face in her hands. By now, a million thoughts were in her head. It's been 2 years since Michael and her broke up, and since then, she made a promise to herself that she would never fall in love with men like him. She was so tired of all the tears and sleepless nights that Michael gave her.

She let out a sigh and lifted her head from her hands. The soft light from the windows filled her eyes after the darkness formed by her hands, causing her to rub her eyes to adjust from the light.

The rest of the hour went smoothly for Y/N, after English class was recess, her most favorite time of the day— aside from going home, of course.

She glanced at her watch, 10:28 AM.

2 more minutes, and English will be over. She thought.

She averted her gaze back on the white board full of scribbles about some writing lesson she clearly did not listen to. She looked over to her classmates and friends, Well they aren't listening either. She laughed at the thought.

As soon at the bell rang, everyone started packing up their notebooks, textbooks, and whatever they had on their table. Every student was seen rushing out of every classroom in hopes of being the first ones in line for the cafeteria.

On the way there, Y/N bumped into her friend group. "Hey Y/N! We heard about happened in English class. Michael is really in your class?" A friend of hers mentioned, "Yea, and apparently that son of a bitch winked at me, such a disgusting ass motherfucker. he should keep his fuck boy ass to himself." Y/N spat out, earning a chorus of 'oh's' from her friends.

When they arrived at the cafeteria, the line was painfully long, all of them groaned in frustration and they had no choice but to wait for the line to move. But once it did, it was faster than usual. After Y/N and her friends received their food, they left the cafeteria to eat at their usual place.

The school rooftop.

A few students know that staying in the school rooftop is permitted, which was why Y/N and her friends loved eating there.

When they arrived at the rooftop, they saw the usual people that they always encounter while staying there. The view was beautiful, there was no doubt about it. The small garden in the rooftop gave a beautiful and elegant touch.

Though there were a few chairs and tables, Y/N and her friends always preferred to eat on the floor. So, they laid the linen cloth on the ground and sat on it. Y/N was wearing the skirt uniform, thus she removed her tux and placed it on her legs to prevent her skirt from lifting.

They shared a few giggles while they ate their meals, laughing about some life experiences, or whatever they wanted to talk about.

Y/N loved this. She loved how she and her friends would have little moments like these, it was like an escape from reality.

The rest of the day went smoothly for Y/N. She didn't fall asleep in any of her classes, which in this case was a very big accomplishment for her.

As soon as she arrived home, her little brother, Aaron, rushed towards her. "Y/N!! I missed you!" He chimed, Y/N kneeled down onto his level and gave him the tightest hug. "I missed you too, Aaron!" Her mom came into the room and smiled. Y/N stood up and gave her mom a hug as well.

"How was school?" Her mom asked, Y/N placed her tux on the coat hanger by the door. "It was fine, Mom. Where's Dad?" Y/N walked over to the fridge and poured herself a glass of milk, "He'll be home soon, he still has a meeting right now." She took a sip of her milk, "Oh, okay. I'll be upstairs doing school work." The glass of milk that was once full, now empty.

She took her things upstairs and plopped herself on the bed. Out of nowhere she felt a vibrating noise from her bag, she rummaged through her bag to find her phone and once she did, a message was see on her lockscreen.

Unknown Sender has sent you a message.

She unlocked her phone and went to her messages.

Unknown Sender: hey ;)

Her eyebrows furrowed. What the fuck?

(Y/N): hi? whos this?

read 2:29 pm

Unknown Sender: oh shit you deleted my number? damn.

"Huh? I don't recall deleting anyone's number..." She went to her recently deleted contacts and it showed nothing.

(Y/N): im sorry, i haven't deleted anyone's number recently, maybe you have the wrong number?

read 2:32 pm

Unknown Sender: im pretty sure you know me, Y/N.

They know my name. And her heart started pounding.

(Y/N): and im pretty sure i dont, so just reveal yourself before i report this number

read 2:35pm

Unknown Sender: ayo chill 😬 its me michael.

"Michael fucking Langdon? You've got to be fucking me right now." She felt rage fill her, slamming her keyboard.

(Y/N): langdon what the fuck do you want? i made it very clear that i dont want you talking to me.

read 2:40 pm

Before Michael could reply, she changed his contact name to 'Motherfucker'

You have changed Unknown Sender's contact name as 'Motherfucker'

Motherfucker: damn you still mad at me after 2 years? gosh (Y/N). whats with the nickname?

(Y/N): of course im still mad, asshole. ill never forget what you fucking did.

read 2:43 pm

Motherfucker: i thought you forgave me 🥺

(Y/N): FORGIVE YOU???? god langdon you're so fucking stupid, i will never forgive you. you didnt even say sorry in the first place!

Pissed off, Y/N blocked his number. "That fucking asshole." She mumbled to herself.

—

"Hey! Y/N!" A familar voice called out from the crowd. Y/N removed one earbud and turned around to find the voice that called her.

Once she saw the shiny blonde locks from that stood out in the crowd, she immediately ran in the opposite direction in hopes of avoiding him.

It was Michael, again.

"Y/N wait!" Michael called out again, chasing her

For some reason, Michael was able to catch her. He pulled Y/N into an empty science laboratory and they were both panting.

"What the fuck do you want this time, Langdon?" Y/N was catching her breath, fanning herself with her hand.

"Okay. First off, sorry for the sudden message. I know I pissed you off and that wasn't my intention at a—"

"What was your intention then?" She cut him off.

Michael panicked.

"Uh, you know? I just wanna talk to you again. Clear the bad air between us.."

Y/N let out a laugh, "Clear the bad air?? Oh gooood Langdon, you are really so stupid! You know what? You just made it worse." She pushed him off and walked out of the room,

"Whatever it is your planning, Langdon, I'm telling to stop it. I don't wanna talk to you or even go near you."

Michael was dumbfounded. She changed so much. He thought to himself.

2 years ago, Y/N was the sweetest, most innocent girl he knew. Playing with her feelings was Michael's biggest regret, and he's starting to feel it again.

Michael was about to leave the room until he felt a buzzing from his pocket, He pulls out his phone to see who was calling him.

Duncan, one of his bestfriends.

Michael answered the call, "Hello?"

"What's the update on your little girl?"

"She still doesn't trust me."

"That's sad man."

"I know. She changed alot. "

"What do you mean by 'changed'?" Duncan emphasized,

"I can't point it out, Dunc."

"Whatever you do, don't chicken out. I promise this bet is worth it."

"Fine, I trust you."

Call Ended.

Michael ran his fingers through his hair in frustration and left the room before the bell rang.

—

It was the last subject of the day. Most students were falling asleep or on their phones.

Y/N was scribbling weird things on the back of her notebook, when suddenly the bell rang. She packed up her stuff and stood up from her seat. Before she could leave the room, she saw a familiar face again.

Michael stood by the doorway of her classroom, the strap of his bag over one shoulder while he looked for Y/N among the other students.

Y/N ignored Michael and walked past him, but he grabbed her by the arm and pulled her towards him.

"Langdon! What the fuck do you want?!" She screamed, all of the students averting their attention to her.

Michael put a finger on his lips, shushing her. "Let's go somewhere private, yea?"

"But—"

Before she could object, Michael dragged her outside towards the parking lot.

"Okay this is actually something serious—"

"CUT THE SHIT LANGDON! IM TIRED OF YOU."

"Woah‐woah! Easy now. I actually need your help, with school..."

Michael rubbed her shoulders, looking straight into her eyes. For once, Y/N believed him. His eyes were speaking the truth.

"Okay, fine. Shoot."

"I can't believe I'm saying this.."

"Don't waste my time, Langdon."

"Fine! I'm failing."

Y/N's mouth hung open. Michael was one of the top students in their batch and this was obviously a huge surprise for her.

"Oh, really? What am I gonna do about that?" She crossed her arms and cocked her head to the side.

"Can you please help me? Like, tutor me?" At this point, Michael was desperate.

"Um, no thanks. Just fuck some other girl's pussy for your grades." Y/N pushed him away, but Michael stopped her again.

"I'm serious, Y/N. I really need your help."

"Why me?"

Now that made Michael nervous.

"Because you happen to be the top of our batch right now?"

"Fine! Under one condition."

Michael was curious, "What?"

"If I do this tutor shit, we're doing it at my place. I can't tutor you in your messy ass room." Y/N said. She always remembered how messy Michael's room was when they were together. He would only clean when he was scolded by Y/N.

"That's fine by me."

"Okay then. 5pm, sharp."

She walked away, but Michael pulled her again.

"Let me go! What do you want now?" Y/N said, clearly annoyed.

"Unblock my number, silly." Michael chuckled,

"No."

"How are you supposed to know if I already arrived?"

"Theres a doorbell, dimwit. I'll be downstairs waiting for you."

"Bu—"

"Bye, Michael. I'll see you later." Y/N flashed him a small smile and continued to walk away.

Once he saw Y/N reach the bus stop, he started walking to his car, until someone tapped him on his shoulder.

"Hey Michael, whats the update? I saw you talking to her." It was Duncan. His brown hair was lightly gelled back and the first two buttons of his white dress shirt were undone.

"I'm still trying to win her back, I lied to her that I was failing so she could tutor me. That way, it'll be easier."

Duncan smirked, "That's my boy! When will this tutor thing start?"

"Later, 5pm."

"Hmm, that's good. Remember, if you fall in love again, bet's over."

"I won't."

—♡—

tags mwah: @kitwalker02 @sojournmichael @angelicmichael @deademobitch @iheartfrogs101 @tatestripedsweater @mrs-march-ahs

i hope you guys enjoyed this. i wrote this while doing schoolwork </3