PSA: If you are depressed and/or suffer from a chronic illness for longer than a short amount of time,peole will grow tired of you and leave you. So you either have to fake being well or die of loneliness :)
various fairfaxes and a drawing from my english civil wars hiking au which i never posted :-) [id under cut]
[image description:
the first image is a digital drawing of a group of men on a light brown background. they are all wearing hiking-appropriate clothing. from left to right: a young man swinging from a tree; arrows pointing at him read ‘weirdly passionate about hiking’ and ‘like 15′. a man leaning against a tree; arrows read ‘grumpy’ and ‘only here for family bonding with father-in-law’. a man with a cane and one arm in a sling, leaning over to read a map; arrows read ‘has injured himself on every hike so far’ and ‘designated driver’. a man reading a map with a serious expression; arrows read ‘annoyed about everything except hiking and sometimes also hiking’ and ‘only one who can read a map’. a man with his hands on his hips looking at the viewer; arrows read ‘arranges hikes and then doesn’t go on them’ and ‘good at arguing’.
the second image is a collection of four digital drawings of thomas fairfax, a man with long dark hair, a moustache, and a beard. he is wearing seventeenth-century clothing. one is a full-body coloured drawing of him sitting in a chair facing away from the viewer with his legs folded and his hat on his knee. the other three are uncoloured: two are headshots of him as a young man and an older man, and the third shows him sitting at a table reading a piece of paper with an expression of concentration.
the third image is a coloured digital portrait of thomas fairfax as an older man. he is clean-shaven and has long dark hair and a scar across his cheek. he is wearing a dark doublet and a large white falling band, and is looking to the left of the image with a serious expression.
Love posting my Spotify receipts for the month bc you can always tell when I’ve had smth big to write for one of my classes bc the one Jash song (Dream (Outro from Calamity)) will make the receipt. I did not end up a Jashinator but I do like having a song I can rely on to make me write things.
reminded of the times in my life when people have commented on my being robotic in my thoughts or mannerisms. how i took those comments as compliments for years until i realized they were pointing out i was Different (derogatory). i was over there like 'heck yeah, someone who doesn't see me as completely human this is great' and i assume they were meanwhile thinking something like 'that person doesn't know how to human properly and is weird for it'
i actually gave up earlier because yt was so laggy, but there was one more missing bit in part 4, prem walking to the cafe where he finds ten sleeping
i don't know why it was cut, because it's nice to see just how affected prem is by their big moment the previous night
and i like that dy is calling prem because dy needs support, but he's immediately concerned as soon as prem says he's not doing okay. i like how these pals support each other! (really wish we'd seen metha and ten giving fire the support he needed this episode, but you can't have everything i guess)
unrelated: anyone else fighting for their lives on yt lately? on firefox with adblock plus and HOLY SHIT it's SO FUCKING BUGGY and the algo recommends SO MUCH MORE unfiltered hot garbage :/
here's the thing no one tells you about love, about real love: it's the terrifying, agonizing, healing experience of assuming repeatedly what has happened before in the past with people who have hurt or left you, will happen again, and having your loved ones grab you by the hand and say, as many times as you need to hear it, "not this time, not with me."
i rush to get off work after a ~10 hr day and i get home and like. idk i don’t understand what people do. i dont like TV and it’s too cold and dark (very windy) to hike now and it’s like i just get home and i feel so lonely and under and overstimulated at the same time and just like. pass the time until bed wishing i wasn’t alone