#but i promised

[eldrichfuck666]

Well, legend has it when the sunbeams come

All the plants, they eat them with their leaves

[bass-ghost-coast-to-coast]

[just-slightly-chayotic]

okay nap time. it will fix my insanity over jeff. surely.

[shoverse]

im so tired

[inbabylontheywept]

so once me and my wife were watching a documentary where a snake ate like a million eggs. that snake just went to fucking town on eggs. and the snake made the eggs look so good that i kept thinking about it, and thinking about it, and thinking about it, and eventually it was 11pm and i ran out of willpower and decided to eat one (1) singular raw egg just to prove to myself that the snake was surely a liar.

the snake was not a liar. texture is like, super important to me and raw eggs are very Texture so i had another one, and then another one, and then another one, and eventually i ran out of eggs.

i had like, fifteen raw eggs.

i didnt really know how to explain this momentary madness to my wife, so my Plan was to put all the eggshells into a grocey bag, and then throw that grocery bag in the dumpster, and if she never noticed that would be Excellent and if she noticed immediately i could lie and say that the eggs went bad.

except i cant lie very good, and of course with murphys law being such, i got salmonella.

so i threw up a lot and my wife asked me what poisoned me so and i tried very hard to dodge the question but i was oozing shame like oil from a room temperature cheese and eventaully i gave in and told her everything and to her enormous credit she was more flabbergasted than actually upset. she did make me promise to not eat any more raw eggs, which i have stuck to, and she gives me weird looks during nature documentaries now as if desire was the only thing keeping me from eating thousands of pounds of krill anyway i made a joke earlier about being able to eat my age in eggs and my sister in law in law made a drawing to comemorate the moment and also because it was my birthday. she's excellent. thank you 10000000% @cintailed. you should all visit her page and admire her work.

[poorly-drawn-mdzs]

Knowledge Revenge.

[taffywabbit]

they should invent a new type of "staying in bed for 2-3 hours after you wake up repeatedly opening and closing apps on your phone" where it makes you feel awesome and energized and emotionally fulfilled

[junkworldusa]

you make me want to draw again

here you go! this is also for my future self.

[obsob]

i am a being capable of immeasurable love and whimsy

[buckera]

"how can you multiship?" well you see honey, when two people love each other very much and neither of them is real...

[sleepynegress]

Just checking.... We all pronounce Miette like My-TAY in our heads, right?

* Adding a note because I FEEL yall's frustration. I feel similar to the way you feel when someone uses the word "casted" instead of "cast" when someone is cast in a show, for example... So... I PROMISE I never said it aloud. It is indeed "Meyet" said in almost one syllable, with a French roll of the tongue in the middle. TODAY I LEARNED. It means Crumb.

[hotcinnamonsunset]

The Tiger (from the poem by Nael, age 6)🐅

[jacqcrisis]

Put salt in your baked goods. Put salt in your desserts. Just do it. Please. Salt isn't just for savory, it's literally a flavor enhancer so even a pinch can take a meh recipe to one people can't stop eating. Listen to me. Your cookies and cheesecake bars are bland and uninteresting. I'm taking your hand. I'm guiding you with a gentle touch to the back. We can do this together. Trust me.

[creekfiend]

what's my biggest pet peeve well it's when someone makes a text post on tumblr dot com in which they are trying to romanticize the notion of the livestock guardian dog but they don't know the distinction between a livestock guardian dog and a herding dog and also they've never met a livestock guardian dog and do not realize what their attitudes towards the sheep that they protect actually are

[nowoyas]

I promised myself when I started this blog that I wouldn't delete any fics no matter what but being forced to make eye contact with those collab fics from fucking 2020 so I can update their links is REALLY testing that promise