#but i really love the way theyve turned out! i think theyre a lot of fun

[stinkrascal]

i have one more straud post to finish editing and then i think i’ll finally begin posting my legacy again!!

[stormflyblue]

can u tell us more about my magical girl au? I love hearing about aus like that lol

SCREAMS!! YES!!! sorry that it took so long to respond to this, i had to write a lot and im answering on mobile where i cant type as fast!! (also apologizes for my grammar in this, i was in a silly mood) prepare for the massive info dump under the cut!!!

okay anyways! the “magical girls” are wxs (bc im biased for them) and their theme would be “sweets” and “deserts.” their outfits are based around the fluffy dreamland set + other cards that i think suit them. (ex: nene messenger of feelings combined with her afterparty with fireworks(mermaid nene)) but emu is only based off of her smile of a dreamer card bc she’s the goat and it’s her focus. she’s sort of the leader of the magical girls (sorry tsukasa!! youre my favorite but ur not the leader for this au!! i have a lot of plans for you though >:3)

HOWEVER bc rui and tsukasa dont have clear full body outfits in that set im thinking of basing their outfits on different sets. tsukasa is the most clear for me, because he’s going to be an combination of his backstage encouragement card (lilykasa) and his an unexpected classmate card. i dont have any ideas for rui but i want him to be based on a lim card of his so his hair can change during the transformation ueueueuwuuwe (；′⌒`) .

since their theme is around sweets im thinking of naming their “charm” or those things that give magical girls power “___ candy” emu’s would be “sweet candy” since she’s the leader. nene’s would be “mermaid candy”. tsukasa would be “star candy” and rui’s would be “robo candy” or “thunder candy” (IM SORRY RUI I AM NOT TREATING YOU RIGHT IN BUILDING THIS AU 🙏) the names before ‘candy’ is either based off of their cards (nene) or their overall personality or actual theme (tsukasa, rui)

the order of who turns into a magical girl would be emu -> nene -> rui -> tsukasa. emu was the first to recieve her powers and has been fighting against “evil” for a good length of time. maybe around 4-6 months. because of this she is somewhat popular around japan and on the internet. everyone has at least heard of her if theyve stayed up with the latest trends. (saki is a MASSIVE fan of her’s).

nene recieves her candy during a particularly difficult fight she witnesses emu having. (here). in this au nene is more pessimistic that gets resolved soon when she gets to know emu more. the reason she knows emu’s identity in the comic i made is because she soon realized it after emu said something eeriely similar to her magic girl persona. she then confirms it during the battle and as she realizes the reason for why emu fights, she is determined to reciprocate those feelings to her. thus, she recieves her candy.

tsukasa and rui im not sure yet but i want it to be an accidental encounter. maybe during a show they have an enemy appears and they have to fight, thus leading tsukasa and rui to find out their identity. im still not sure how to make the enounter different for tsukasa and rui since i want there to be at least some time for nene and tsukasa to get popular on emu’s level (or at least close to it).

the “big bad” that magical wxs is fighting is called project DULL. it’s…nightcord… yeah. the enemies are n25. they have tragic backstories and i really want to see them snap at someone sooo /lh. haha! no actually though i want n25 to have another secret persona that NO ONE knows the identity to. even themselves. they work together but they have no idea of the real person theyre working with. yes, they still in n25 together working on songs but they also work together as the main “villains” (wink wink. nudge nudge ;3). a few times one or more of them come to their nightly vcs more tired than usual and theyre suspious but brush it off thinking “oh they must have had a more exhausting day than usual, i wont pry but i’ll tell them to take care of themselves!”

virtual singers and sekais still do exist in this au by the way! im also thinking of making each group into a villain fighting group but i have no idea where to start with that and i think my brain would implode trying to think of all of their lore in one go soo no mention of them here lolol.

project DULL wants to reset the world to a state where everything is neutral. no positive emotions, no negative emotions. no sicknesses either! the main reason they oppose magical wxs is bc n25’s “neutral” is tasteless (or at least that how i think) and wxs is based around sweetness and the different flavors of everything.

there are many other things i want to explain about project DULL and others associated with them but that would be spoliers and it would ruin the surpise!!! one last thing about them is that theyre based off their imprisoned marionette set and wear masks. (WINK WINK. NUDGE NUDGE)

this is all that i can think of right now. if i have any more information i want to dump i’ll just reblog. sorry if it’s a lot!! thank you so much for asking!!! <333

[moonshynecybin]

oh vale fucking marc in phillip island ‘15 for the first time, promptly freaking out, and latching onto uccio’s bullshit conspiracy just to find a way to drive marc away from himself… phew. you’re a genius i lovee the threesome au..

how would reconciliation work in that universe? would vale see marc getting cozy with an older man at the gala or someplace else and lose his mind? esp if the man has a girl w him who’s eyeing marc up and down? would marc think vale initially wants to go back to the first arrangement instead of just the two of them?

so many of my rosquez aus hinge on the beautiful race that is PI 2015. one of the sexiest races of all time and one where vale decided that marc was actually and genuinely EVIL based on uccio's extremely unbiased and not jealous at all opinion. BUT. uccio has never liked marc. has ALWAYS been suspicious of his and vale's relationship. and i think he would frankly have a LOT more of a leg to stand on if he had tried to break them up after assen 2015 instead imo... which makes me wonderrrr how long the uccio hate campaign had been germinating... whispering in vale's ear... turning the tides... moments in iago history.... etc. and i mean a BIG part of the reason vale's breaking point IS phillip island is because losing that title seemed a lot more realistic (three races left the pressure is ON. and marc is healthy so the field is more competitive) AND it was one of the greatest races of all time (WATCH ITTTT) and marc fucking WON it. vale used to be the kind of bitch who won that sort of thing. so its digging at his ego in lots of little ways that EYE imagine would be hard to swallow, and uccio identifies the chink in vale's armor here and exploits the FUCK out of it.

so i think. if im narrativizing this for gay sex reason which you KNOWWWW i am. that this is kind of the ideal point in a story to have vale flip out as much as possible. really dig into his neuroses. and one of the crazy parts of rosquez isnt JUST that vale is having an ego crisis its that hes having a crisis about CARING ABOUT MARC (also part of the reason it takes as long as it does for the paranoia to set in). thats why it suck so much! marc was his FRIEND ! (and he isnt friends with his rivals !!! think of that video where hes talking about bezz and pecco like. affectionately baffled about why theyre still friends?? this has never happened to him before!!! hes wigging out !!!) and so vale is ALSO heartbroken hereeeeee and thats part of why he gets as fucking mean as he does.

so in THIS au its them finally acknowledging that its not the girls that makes them keep fucking. its THEM. its EARNESTLY wanting each other outside of the heterosexual coolguy masculine just buddies threesomes that theyve been pretending are normal. pretending they havent been engineering them as social acceptable ways to get closer 2 each other. and once they break that seal and theres no more excuses. thats just too close for vale to keep a rival. and he implodes it.

[narwhalandchill]

anyway tho like. overall (SPOILER FREE!!) natlan first impressions over last week in no particular order for me bc i felt like it sooooo

Firstly: the environments are absolutely insane like. i love the vibrancy they brought into it and the striking distinct sceneries between the three main regions (tho lowkey any water region post-fontaine is... unfortunate for basically feeling like its lacking a layer w/o diving) that rly make them feel unique!! like i havent explored an insane amount but a decent bit nonetheless and i think as much as i Liked fontaine the aboveground environments there just werent that unique which like. kinda couldnt be helped given the geographic inspirations like it was good and v beautiful in its own way but more like. mondstadt premium french steampunk edition if that makes sense. whereas natlan is already striking such a distinct image for itself and thats just great

also loving all the kinds of living creatures going about everywhere like not even accounting for the saurians genshins rly come so far from the early days of barely any non-monster creature anywhere (mondstadt cavalry but no horses moment) and i love all the creatures sm 💕💕 Especially all the surprise chests theyve incorporated into tiny interactions with the animals like it just feels v fresh and immersive. theyve rly nailed the feeling of making the natural environment feel lived in its so nice

the music is also just. knocking it out of the park like ive had to pause on multiple occasions just to listen bc holy shit its good 😭😭😭 and this is also sth i think compares to fontaine bc. i mean as much as of a cringe moment the whole "wow YPC left and now fontaine music is mid its over" tantrum was (ESPECIALLY once remuria dropped like 💀💀💀 that was just gloating . A whole music based region and culture????? ya we get it) buuut. now w natlan. i do have to admit that fontaine does suffer from some of its environmental soundtracks not being as distinctly memorable as previous nations and now natlan as well . obviously fontaine has its shiver-worthy standouts but its interesting that most of those for me are bc of their use in the AQ and that association . whereas natlans been jumpscaring me left and right on the first listen lmao . anyway to be clear the point is not me hating on fontaine music for lacking impact (but never polish or quality) in some tracks just that hoyomix in natlan is delivering some insanely good stuff rn jsjskskskakdkdk

next. SAURIANS. hoyo. Hoyo . WHY DO WE HAVE TO KILL THEM????????!??? HELLO????@?

ITS SO AWFUL I FEEL LIKE A MONSTER 😭😭😭😭😭 like the small ones?????? The whelps WHIMPERING?????? id rather you punched me in the face this is horrible 😭😭 like you rly saw all the complaints about killing the cute sea creatures in fontaine being too cruel and we dont want that and went bet 💀💀💀 why do i have to wear the skin of a baby saurians mom to murder the kids its so. This is terrible why would you do thisss. id rather merk 7848 seals in Fontaine than hurt a single saurian its so badd

But uhhhhh yeah saurians are great, i rly rly love their goofy animations and how much personality each kind exudes theyre just . Lovable shaped and all i just wish they didnt. Make them THE abundant overworld enemy we need for mats 💀💀💀

In all seriousness tho gameplay wise i really like how the saurians kinda bridge the gap between the older 1.x-2.x exploration where it was really mostly just you with your characters not that many exploration mechanics to boost mobility and traversal at all and then the 3.x era and afterwards where there are all forms of assistance from things like the dendro anchors and chenyu vale mechanics and everything bc. as much as the mobility boosts are nice they kinda had the risk of taking you Out of the exploration so it just turns into a zoom around with gadgets mini game ya know???? But i think w the saurians its a lot more balanced bc. youre still playing As a specific character with their own movement and controls not just getting warped from 1 location to another as a hydro bubble and thats rly rly nice. tho i have to say the koholasaur controls are kinda ass compared to the other 2 lmao . like ig its just post fontaine problems where we Already Got flawless underwater movement so its just. not the saurian alone but the water environments themselves just being ehhh without that added... depth (haha) there??

anyway unfortunately tho on a more negative note wrt the characters im still very uhhhh. mixed on the very modern design direction taken for the playable units and the overall lack of cohesion between a lot of them like. yes natlan is its own thing with different tribes and it should stand out but something about it just takes it a bit too far for suspension of disbelief . the three 5.0 characters i think look overall good and work well enough, but then theres designs like chasca and mavuika where its just . Ehhhh.

like chasca in particular (and im sorry in advance for never letting you unsee this either) i havent been able to stop thinking about a comment i saw about how like. her makeup is WAY too detailed and intense for genshins facial models and makes her face look really weird and just kind of like a bratz doll? compared to the rest of the cast like its really this borderline "yassified" parody of a heavy makeup look that just. Doesnt look natural nor fit in with the rest of genshins characters roster and she just looks off its . Weird. like obviously ik theres a lot of v intense hate going on for her design to the point where its actively hurtful to those who like her and idt thats good at all but this is kinda why her model has such issues for me. and the mess of an outfit doesnt help with the uncanny face stuff either lmao

mavuika is more of an outfit problem honestly like. her hair is good the eyes are amazing the color scheme is great & love the sun motifs and her hair accessory but i just. a biker????? Huh? and not even a particularly good looking biker design its literally just a plain bodysuit design without the usual detailing and dangly things to make it look better from the back that theyve usually done w bodysuit type charas (think shenhe) its just this. uncomfortable looking sausage casing of a disaster garment and that zipper is just.... not it 💀💀💀 like. it doesnt look completely awful if i dont actively think about it so its like whatever but i wish she was given sth a bit different. also ffs i hope she doesnt get ACTUAL motorbike animations like the memes are funny yeah but. thats too much for me sorry thats hsr and zzz stuff . like its just. The overt modernity in natlan isnt doing it for me very much 😔😔

But oh well i hope ill warm up to the cast over time. beyond mby chasca its not like i hate-hate the look of anyone to the point where its off putting its just a Bit of a mixed feeling for now. kinich and citlali are easily my favorites from the revealed designs tho and i do actually like xilonen as well (& kachina is baby) . n like to be fair maybe its just not my style this time around - fontaine was Really catering to me personally with the designs there bc i love ruffles and lolita style inspirations and more historical fashion references and uniform-like elements for garments so a lot of designs were just hook line and sinker for me personally lmao . but ig that does make it very fucking predictable that my favorite design in natlans cast so far is Easily capitano even tho he kinda doesnt count bc i just fucking love goth historical military uniform aesthetics so much its embarrassing 😭😭😭 dont ask me how many times ive rewatched The cutscene just to watch the way his garments shift around as he moves at the beginning its...........

iiii dont think im gonna comment on the WQs yet? since its bit of a spoilery territory and im far from done w all of them but ive really liked the ones ive done so far!!! And hmm what else

OH THE REPUTATIONS. So first RIP weekly bounties and requests past max reputation for 150k weekly free mora that was such an unnecessary change hoyo what the fuck.

BUT. i have to say. Absolutely LOVE how the reputations are now distributed among the tribes and how much more lived in the entire nation feels compared to p much. ANY previous one by having multiple settlements and communities that all get their own quests and narratives like. yes its a natlan thing bc it has the 6 tribes but i RLY wish theyll keep some version of this system for snezhnaya too bc like. Especially with the story quest incorporation into the tribal chronicles chain its just??? Such an organic way to tie a playable character INTO their environment and community in a way thats been a major failing in a lot of older SQs before like its just. genius

anyway point being. just Imagine playable tonia happening except theres also some sort of morepesok reputation questline and system like??? Actually featuring the village and its people AND childes entire family fr fr in their own storyline in a voiced capacity?? Please itd be so good 😭😭😭😭

but yeah i love the tribal chronicles approach so much its like the perfect marriage between world quests and story quests and reputation like chef kiss truly. and also new bounty and request QoL is great.

Also no spoilers but man doing the first parts of the scions of the canopy quest.... yeah i was in fucking tears . If you know you know.

aaaand i think thats it for now ??? Overall been having a great time, not pulling for anyone in 5.0 on my main, maybe kinich on my alt but cant guarantee him there . i think ill get xilonen and then mavuika for sure bc obvious archon (unless shes an on fielder HSJSKSOEKDIEI) but the big lookout is still chioris rerun lmao. xilonen and her at the same time would be ideal thanks xx

hope its been fun for yall too o777

[trainingdummyrabbit]

oooooooobhhhh...... would it be alright if you talked abt ur ocs......... if it's not a bother.......

stands here like some sort of beast . this took me two days. im so sorry. inhales

i can absolutely talk abt my ocs yeah :D never ever a bother!!

this is rose and wolfe! theyre two of my lobcorp ocs whom i love very dearly :] they (and the rest of their group) have their own lil story going on, but i say that very loosely bc im just having fun honestly ^_^ and they sure do love making decisions that make that Rather Difficult For Me. but alas, anyhow,

this is inevitably going to get Pretty Fucking Long! (post-post edit. ~35 paragraphs.) so if youre prepared for that. 👍 yippy!! anyway hope you like fucked up little lesbians bc here we go

im probably going to be retreading ground here a bit bc im gonna try and take it from the top, but also because i dont remember what ive said and what i havent so ill just say whatever i remember ^_^

the basic gist of th storyline is that its kind of a pseudo-murdermystery but instead of dying u get turned into some sort of beastie ! ^_^ aka 'nobody knows what the distortion phenomenon is yet and are kinda too busy freaking out about it to notice headquarters exploded last week'. dont worry about that.

slaps notes on the table. this is gonna be really messy and maybe kinda incomprehensible but its ok bc this is just how its going to be. hope this helps.

OK LISTEN. they started out as one thing and then slowly kinda turned into something else and theyve been haunting me for months but they make talking about them Literally Impossible because of how much they just. fucking cling to each other, narratively. its impossible. they make everything so fucking difficult.

wolfe is some offshoot of a take on those Edgy Playground Wolf Ocs that you see a lot in middle school-- or well, thats the root of it. she was always going to be played fully seriously, but everyone was kinda written more silly-like towards the beginning anyhow. yknow, one of those 'orphan lab experiment who pretty much had to take care of themself and really hates people, with Cool Mysterious Powers theyre really conflicted about' type characters. and honestly a lot of that still sticks, really.

she presents herself in a kind of over-the-top way to try and get people to take her seriously and leave her alone, but honestly its just kind of . offputting.. in a way, shes kind of a stand-in for what its like to be a teenager (neurodivergence notwithstanding). sometimes the only thing you can do to get people to listen to you is to make a scene and yell really loud! and everyone will always discredit it as just something that happens while growing up, being "disobedient" because you want attention or want to be rebellious and contrary, but everything you feel IS real and it DOES hurt and nobody BELIEVES you so all you can do is yell LOUDER. its all theyll respond to. (and all it does is make people double down on what they think of you.)

wolfe is a character that is honestly kind of genuinely a bit extra, a little bit embarrassing, but very genuine. a lot of her life was spent not being able to decide what happened to her physically; just kinda pulled and prodded around whether she liked it or not; (again, the whole orphan lab experiment thing was never a lie.) and thrashing around is really all she can do about it. be inconvenient, irritating, hard to deal with; any small victory, any little foothold would do. unfortunately, most of what that's ever done is make things harder for herself. (she hates being expected to be something convenient to others, yet in her attempts to cast it away, forms her worldview to the dichotomy they set up around her. curious !)

so you have this fucked up lil thing and drop her into an lcorp facility. great superb fantastic. n then you give her some ego gear and it messes her up Big Time because guess what, her body is all sorts of fucked up and is Not reacting well with this whole thing, causing it to quite literally Stick and all those 'mild' side effects are now 'major' side effects and everyones Fussing over you again because youre an Anomaly and you Dont get any rest and youre still getting used to a body and mind that isnt Quite what it was before and you Cant leave since they need to figure out whats going on here and Oh God Fucking Damn It Its Again.

so its pretty fair that shes being Like That about the whole thing all things considered.

at this point shes just trying to make it through day by day without someone prodding her about something or another, just stop Staring at her already, fuck off. just one foot in front of the other and try not to think about it too hard. thumbsup 👍 more often than not she works alone; not just because of her own decisions, but also did you know cobalt scar gets a boost on low hp for the exchange of activating friendly fire? pretty crazy. shes kinda reckless and bound to get herself hurt anyway, so it doesnt really Change anything to just kinda.. send her out there without backup. not like she works well with others anyway, right? itd be pretty dangerous to pair her up with someone n all. yknow.

it kinda sucks, yknow? at this point shes so fucking tired of The Everything that honestly she just wants to get in and get out as quickly as possible without having to deal with any nonsense. shes still really pissed off about the entire Situation, still trying to keep any small bit of autonomy she gets to have, but like. well. sometimes it really is easier to just Do Your Job And Leave. finish your tasks and not think about it and not bother with anyone and fuck off until you have to do it again. thats how it always wouldve been anyway, right? easy. annoying. so, so annoying. god she fucking hates it here.

so anyway, rose. she sucks. she doesnt, but i have to say it every time i talk about her Or Else. shes the reason i have such a hard time talking about The Everything. and also why i had to rewrite this and take Two Days getting to it. she is just. So Much. shes an idiot. shes too smart for her own good. she would fit right in as a YA novel protagonist. this is all stalling on trying to explain what the hell is wrong with her.

honestly on a surface level shes pretty chill all things considered. mostly stays in her lane, gets along with people pretty easily, just kinda goes here, pretty good at small talk. she loves listening to people. she Loves listening to people. the problem. she isnt lying, per se, about her entire Presentation and general manner of being, but she isnt really honest either. shes disingenuous. kind of.

rose as a character is Very aware of how people act, and why they choose what they do in what situations. as such, she has gotten very good at Acting A Part rather than actually Living It. she loves listening to people because she wants to know who they are. not in a "i want to get to know my coworkers ^_^" type of way but in a "writing down all your character traits and quirks to record your habits" type of way. a weird sort of genre-awareness. she is very Very easily able to track exactly what type of person someone is and adjust the way she acts around them to... any sort of effect she wants to, honestly. mostly its just quelling dumb spats and getting people to stop being stupid like people tend to do, but every so often she isnt exactly averse to just kinda... messing with people. only a little! but she Could, if she Wanted to. which she doesnt. because shes nice.

rose sees interpersonal interaction as a complex 'game'. not by that name, but by that function. everyone always Expects something, in engaging with another, and all it really is at its core is getting what you want without giving too much ground. to figure out who the Other is without them figuring out who You are. its a competition. to understand what another person Is is what gives you the advantage. to know is to win, to be known is to lose. keep your cards as close to your chest as you can, and they cant control you. easy. its something everyone Does, but only a few acknowledge. she was just good enough to learn.

but like, admittedly, shes very chill. shes literally nice? like yeah all that but she is literally nice. shes fine. shes like... fine? shes all right. like Yeah it sounds bad when you put it like that but she is literally nice.

rose plays a lot with the idea of Symbol. shes a fully realized person, yeah, but she was never Expected to be. she exists mostly as a formality, and she knows thats all that was really expected of her. she was there to Fulfill An Ideal and little else; so she reaches for what she can when she can. be Sweet and Simple and Pretty-- that's all. and she isnt, she knows this, but it sure does make things simple when thats all people know of you. (impossible for people to dig for information people dont think exists.)

a flower in a broken vase unsure if its defined by the petals or the holes. shes someone intrinsically frustrated by the rules that define her, but is unable to comprehend a self without it. clinging to it because its the sole point of control she feels she can Have over things, but wishing to cast it aside to self realize and prove that shes worth the time of day to acknowledge. (she doesnt care what her caretakers thought of her, but still she defines her actions based on their idea of her. curious !)

so you have these two in the general vicinity of one another right.

rose initially interacts with wolfe as almost a game. a test, even. just to see if she could get anything out of the weird one that sulks in a corner by themself, refusing to interact with anyone. shes just curious, yknow? and wolfe, obviously, takes this about as well as you think she would. dont you have better things to do?? stop asking about my fucking hobbies. ..rose could always count on her for a reaction.

wolfe was very, Very resistant to playing along much at all. she thought that giving just simple brush-off responses would get her to get the hint that it wasnt worth bothering, but then rose would come back with more questions building off of whatever they'd talked about, just... idly talking at her. a frequent annoyance turning into just. consistent background noise. yeah this might as well be happening. but even still, the amount of things that rose remembered and considered and genuinely seemed to listen to kind of caught her off guard. it was... weird. it was really really weird.

it wasnt really all that hard to read what wolfe was feeling at any given moment. it was kind of funny, honestly, especially with how she tended to present herself. (honestly, how did everyone else just Miss all of this?) but after some time, rose was surprised to find that she started to just... speak to her frankly. it was stark, only every so often, almost as if she didnt realize the shift in her own tone. its around then that rose started piecing things together herself and... oh. ohh. (how did everyone just miss all of this?)

Bad News Motherfuckers! Its Fucking Over For Both Of You! wolfe finds someone who is genuinely willing to listen to her on the sole drive of simply Understanding Her, rather than wanting something in exchange, wanting something From her; and rose. god. she finds a reflection of exactly what she wishes she couldve been, things she couldve done, were she not shaped into what she Is. an understanding of something she'd never acknowledged, never knew was there, but was there with her the entire time. someone with a clear understanding of what they are, willing to fight tooth and nail to keep it, regardless of what anyone or anything else tries to do with them. things that the narrative constantly tries to take from them; things that rose wants so desperately to let wolfe keep.

so yknow, girl things. THIS is where things get really annoying.

rose seemed to enjoy messing with wolfe just for fun, but honestly shes just kinda taken by her honesty. she doesnt ever seem to have any ulterior motives when shes around her, she just… is. and does. because she wants to. rose honestly isnt really sure how to handle someone who isnt just… mildly bluffing at all times, especially about connection. that level of vulnerability is scary to her. so she teases her. she expects her being flustered-- and she is-- but still, she finds herself caught off guard by wolfe's earnestness.

even so, rose catches herself being far more open than she intends to be-- accidentally, at first, against her better judgement, but then tentatively, almost as if to test the waters. just how much could she show of herself and still uphold that trust? how many red flags can she put up before wolfe notices? no, that was unfair. before it becomes unforgivable. before it recontextualizes her. she cares, yes, genuinely and deeply so. (but what does that mean, coming from her?) she wants wolfe to be safe. (im asking you to leave.)

wolfe and rose both trust each other to a degree that they dont trust many others. its the passive understanding that theyre very much alike, and the even more silent knowledge that they want better for each other; in a roundabout way of knowing that they themselves deserved better, no matter how much they insist otherwise.

theyre very genuine with each other in a way that kind of surprises themselves. neither of them quite know what theyre doing, nor do they want to put a name to something so fleeting, but… its there.

wolfe desperately wants to be closer to rose, but hates that she desires that vulnerability. (it was always rather dangerous, showing your hand like that.) its an annoying fondness, constantly prickling at the back of her head any time rose is even remotely relevant. even when she isnt. shes kind of haunted. shes very defensive of her in a way she honestly doesnt realize until someone points it out. it just comes naturally to her. (whats the difference between a guard dog and an attack dog again..? (is she really ready to deal with the implications of this? is this not just having another will enacted on you? how does she really feel about that?))

rose, meanwhile, is… actually also conflicted. she likes wolfe. this is obvious. it wasnt intended, and she can roll with it, but it's… complicated. she handles it a lot more analytically. she notices when wolfe takes a step forward, and matches it in turn. equivalent exchange, and all. show that youve noticed, that you care, that youre paying attention. (i think she may be afraid. despite her presentation, she's afraid.)

she acknowledges the feeling of desire in this bond-- she wants wolfe to be able to live outside of others' influence. desperately. (if she cant, then…) she refuses to acknowledge what this says of Herself, though. but most importantly, she knows how easy it would be to simply take the role of someone who controls her. (isnt that just what she's always done to others?) she hates the idea of becoming that. (it would be so easy.) goes out of her way to avoid influencing her in that way-- but somehow, this just makes her more distant. hesitant to touch.

and with that fear, she tends to react, again, logically. tries to solve it like a puzzle, like she always has. finds the shortest distance to a perceived goal. this makes her rather distant, disconnected-- shes trying to control her own feelings by controlling what is around it.

what this means, most importantly, is that she is unable to trust wolfe the way She trusts her. she isnt strong enough to push back against what she sees of herself, or that which she uses to protect herself. giving in to those well-walked patterns instead of being able to brave uncertainty in something that new. she hides herself because she isnt sure what will become of her-- and is too afraid to risk what may come of losing the person she suddenly deeply cares about. setting herself up to crash harder should the worst happen. because she would simply blame herself. proving herself right.

meanwhile wolfe is dealing with Actually Trusting Someone for the first time in longer than she can remember, whether she likes it or not. maybe she was being stupid. maybe this was just a foolish foray into trusting people like she’d always told herself not to do. but… but. rose just brought this sense of comfort wherever she went, this feeling of certainty.

it was never good to let your guard down, but… but just this once, she so badly wanted to. once you let these things go, it becomes harder to get them back. she knew this. and yet, all the parts of her that protested were overruled by a deep desire to simply lie down and fall asleep in that comforting feeling. how frustrating. how annoying. how dangerous. now she had someone she could not argue against. and yet, she held this advantage as if she did not know it was one she wielded, a dangerous thing held without intent. was this trust? …did she want it to be?

and so, foolishly perhaps, she decided to trust. it was a tenuous thing, unbeknownst to anyone but herself. …probably. rose did have a way of seeing right through people. but even through all that, through the Everything… it felt nice to have someone to look out for. someone to worry about, someone on your mind when there used to be nobody else but you. she’d spent so long worrying about the repercussions of leaving your back to someone, yet she’d never known the comfort of having someone do the same to you. she’d never realized how hard it was to do much of anything with fangs bared the entire way. the ache of worry was dull compared to the weight of silence. (she would give her Everything to her. all or nothing, with her. maybe this was simply part of the inevitable problem.)

hey remember the whole turning-into-creatures thing? yeah thats still happening. crazy right? anyway. The Problem.

so you have people turning into things not quite unlike abnormalities, expressions of deep fears and desires running away with what used to be a human. and youve got some fucked up little guy with a Lot of barely repressed issues thats deceptively easy to mess with and actively averse to anybody really reaching out to them whatsoever.

and then rose is trying her best to figure out whats causing all this bullshit going on, but also her . coworker. is suddenly acting Really snappy and distant and its kinda starting to make her worried and she doesnt want to push her but shes looking really rough lately and fuck. wait. god. wait. shit.

long inhale. so you have two stupid motherfuckers 100% willing to drop everything and kill everyone in this facility and then themselves if anything so much as happens to the other (but theyre super normal about it, its fine, the other doesnt have to know.) theyre so good at this interpersonal interaction thing guys they swear (dont look too close though ok haha.) theyre sooo unknowable guys theyre really pulling a fast one on everyone here. they Definitely know what to do to fix the problem forever its fine they totally get it. dont stop them.

anyway heres a bunch of images for no reason

[triptychofvoids]

Do you have any HS about Medics birds?

of course i do :]€

i just have to get this out of the way first. unfortunately some people see pigeons and doves as completely seperate birds, but this isnt true. pigeons are doves. anyway. headcanons now

we all know medic got his doves from stealing a van at a wedding. commonly the type of bird used for release at weddings, funurals, whatever, are rock doves or homing pigeons that are bred to be a smaller size and all white, meaning medics birds are all most likely pigeons of this kind :]

i think that a good handful of his doves would be bonded pairs, but not all of them! since he sort of lets them have free roam some of them turn up randomly with some other pigeon they found in the area and then sometimes he gets some new little birds that are not all white so i headcanon that even though his original flock is all white, hed get some more interesting color and pattern variations from time to time.

speaking of bonded pairs, archimedes is bonded to medic. thats HIS person. of course all the doves consider him to be part of the flock and they all like him and vice versa but archimedes specifically is HIS bird. archimedes will get jealous and throw a little bird tantrum if hes giving the others too much attention. if you ever need to figure out which one of the many birds is archimedes then its a pretty safe bet to assume that whichever bird is currently perched on him or always seems to be hovering around somewhere following him is archimedes. oh and he loves to get into trouble and dive headfirst into anything gorey so you could probably tell that way too ^^;

medic does have names for all the birds. he can always identify archimedes of course and then theres a handful of others he can pick out pretty easily, especially if theyre in a pair or have unique colors or some other defining feature about them, but even though he does name all of them and recignize most of them, he would be lying to you if he said he always knows which is which out of every single one of them at all times.

i mentioned in a previous post that engie would make an industrial grade air purifier for the lab and the workshop and the operating room in order to stay on top of all the dust. pigeons are very dusty.

with a couple of exceptions, a lot of the birds would stay outside most of the time, and theyve got nests all over base. maybe thered also be an aviary or something on the roof for them to stay in if they want, thats where medic would probably put most of their food anyway. archimedes would get his own personal cage in medics room even though hes got free roam as well. and much to the annoyance of some of the other mercs, medic insists on letting the whole flock inside during cold winter months or during the heat of summer.

he really does his best to take care of them all if he can. like i said, they would all have free roam, and a vast majority of them would just live outside around base, but he feeds all of them, he names all of them, he keeps track of where each and every nest around base is. theres not much he can do if some of them get swiped up by wild animals or whatever else but if theyre injured he'll patch them up. the only one he rarely ever has to worry about is archimedes, because that little guy is basically glued to him 90% of the time anyway

[sieglinde-freud]

ask game: Chrom!

CHROMMYYYY YEAHHH

How I feel about this character

i like chrom a lot. to me, hes one of those guys where if you see him in a situation, its automatically funny. his presence is comedy to me. him being in smash? INSTANTLY hilarious. though it was also funny to have him relegated to robin’s accessory for a while. hehe.

All the people I ship romantically with this character

olivia and gaius are my favorites :) chromgailivia truthers wya… but i like him with most of the first gen shepherds honestly? if you gave me a chrom pair i would go “HELL YEAH” to most of the characters. i also greatly enjoy ephchrom. funnest the vg ever was (was team ephraim. but my team chrommies i love you guys forever!!)

My non-romantic OTP for this character

honestly all of the shepherds, but if i had to single one out, i really like the potential friendship he has with cordelia. shes probably one of the few characters i dislike being shipped with chrom, but i think it would be nice for them to get to know eachother for real, become close friends and kind of… like… push eachother off the pedestals theyve placed eachother on. like obviously cordy idolizes chrom but in a way he and the other shepherds do the same to her by labeling her as that perfectionist, so once they work through and realize “hey this person has flaws! theyre not what i thought they were in my head but it turns out i like this version just fine too” and form a real bond they could be nice friends. funny ones too, i think cordelia would be so tired of his shit… thank god

My unpopular opinion about this character

HES NOT A HIMBO. HES SKINNY!!!!!!! HES SO SO SO SKINNY HES A TWIG!! HES SMALL!! SHUT UP!!!!!!! hes also not that dumb. like its funny to act like he is (which. guilty!) but at the end of the day hes really not. hes in a position that makes him ignorant at times, but hes not stupid. hes not a himbo. if you want himbo vaike is right there. jeez.

One thing I wish had happened

i wanna see him reflect on his past with his dad and how theyre similar and how that scares him. let chrom suffer through internal reflection. yesssss… think about the consequences of your actions boy… yesssssssssss… also i wish he had more supports. i get they were trying to push a canon/lucina had to be born but. really? pushing out miriel???? ugh.

[onemorecupofcoffee]

k so once a complete unknown comes out idk what i'll do. first off i have no idea if ill be hyperfixated on bob but it's been a LONG hyperfixation so yknow. maybe. and it's honestly only probably gonna be a year bc theyve made us wait sooo long and theyre done with filming and theyve recorded most if not all the songs and post production shouldnt take long bc theres not like huge cgi shit so. which means theres a good chance itll be out before winter 2025 . now i have irl friends who are timothee fans who want to see the movie when it comes out. so a lot of timothee fans will def go see the movie, but the general population?. i honestly dont know its def marketed more towardsa general audience but like its not like wonka was the biggest movie of the year or anything or the songs went off the charts. but my prediction is that one dylan song that wasnt as popular before will trend on tiktok or something bc timothee covered it and timothees version will become more popular than the og. idk which song bc im honestly not sure if theyre gonna do just any bob song or only the era presented in the movie. if its the era in the movie i think its gonna be an another side of bob dylan song bc that entire album is pretty underrated, except for my back pages it's not that popular for dylan, and it has a lot of lyrically amazing songs. im thinking maybe i dont believe you she acts like we never have met, n it would make sense to play in the movie. but it could be any song , like if theyre playing all eras bob then probably one of his newer songs. But a lot of timothee fans are like ok someones gonna get an oscar for something and im like . ugh no. but its a possibility bc oscars suck so then it would obviously become even more popular. theyre not gonna depict dylan correctly though and then people are gonna believe a scene in the movie actually happened and its like NO IT DIDNT just like the doors movie holy shit i hate that movie . but it could be decent it could turn out ok despite the horrid casting . do i think theyre gonna play other songs yes!!! not just dylan other baez, other folk songs definitely it actually seems like they paid attention to some things. the fashion was not it but the set decorators did an amzing job actually so it seems like there was SOME work that went into this movie. now i thijk theyre gonna end it at newport folk festival but they should end it at motorcycle accident but whatever . but its gonna be like mainl dylan i think but they said its an ensemble piece meaning its also gonna be focused on joan and fake suze rotolo/sylvie/ whatever the fuck her name is. and pete seeger bc hes been in a lot of the paparazzi pics so?. hes there too. and maybe woody guthrie hopefully woody guthrie obviously woody guthrie and they filmed in new jersey so its kinda like yeah. but hes gonna be sick so theyre not gonna really show him but theyre gonna show dylan meeting him. i dont think theyre gonna really show dylans childhood, yea timmy went to hibbing but everyone knows dylan lied a lot so no one knows anything about his childhood really. i think the main romance plot will literally just be bob being like choosing between joan and sylvie or some boring shit like that and theyre not gonna understand the weird fucking relationship bob had with joan or anything. but its gonna be dumb straight love triangle bc the writers are boring and not like im not there todd haynes where haynes understood dylan was queer as fuck and made multiple references to dylan being queer insome way theyre not gonna do that. and timmy will NOT top cate blanchett ever but he might win the oscar even though cate literally deserved that oscar. So the world will explode if it gets popular and then someone will cancel bob dylan or something . and bob dylan dies after seeing it "the worst experience of my life" and theyre gonna botch and popify the songssooo bad but theyre gonna get so popular its so dumb everything is dumb and then bob dylan will have a dumb modern resurgence but by people who dont know anything about him

and wont care to learn aside from that dumb biopic im sorry im welcoming new fans but i feel like theyre just gonna not actually wanna learn about him aside from timmy biopic . And its like. come on. but his records will get more popular and more valuable i mean gen z listens to a lot of physical media maybe his tour might be more popular too if hes still alive so in general people are like hey this guys pretty good or something but then everyone will kinda forget about him but sokme people will stay. i think . and then its like some weird shit gets out about him again he says something out of pocket about the biopic and then everyones like thats Odd. and the biopic keeps getting memed out of context maybe a bob meme will become very popular .. and timmy clitoris fans will be like this is the best film ever and petition for it to win best film at oscra s or something dymb andits all dumb stupif shit and then someones like Hey bob dylan was a fuckign faggot and everyone realises bob WAS fafuckin g faggot and its finally recognize d anf then people boycott the biopic bc it erases queer history rightfully so and then some people who dgaf about bob dont like the biopic and then timmy clitoris apologizes saying he didnt know and hes not queer though even though hes a fuciing twink and then bob slike yeha i had gay sex with george harrison. so what and everyones like Ohhh i knew it but those stupid people are like wtf? bob dylna is GAY? and then itslike ok open your eyes and then at the oscars timmy clitoris has to apologize again saying he didnt know bob dylan was queer and everyones like oh its ok but inrreality we hate you and cate blanchett knew it the whole TIME! and then the biopic is burned people burndown their copies of it and its INSANE and everyones INWSNE and then traveling wilbyurys biopic comes out and theres a sex scene with george and bob in like 2030 bc of the beatles biopics too ! and timyms like dsaved is my fav bob dylan album and he triesto join the fandom but everyone boos him and he dies before bob dies and alos never meets bob

[mbat]

i really wanted to try and write like, a thing explaining how i think steven universe future is one of the best portrayals (and my personal favorite) of mental illness in media, and how i think people misinterpreted it (me included at first, cause my experience over time has given me new perspectives) but i. AAA i literally dont even know if its necessary cause i dont know if people still think it was bad or a bad way to write steven (it wasnt!!) or like any of that, mostly cause. holy shit its just so obvious to me?

like i watch that show and i relate to him so much that i just understand it all and its so obvious to me and i dont know if other people find it. not obvious. like everything is right there in the text laid out i think

the main thing that i saw get misinterpreted when it aired was the second to last episode where steven turns into a fucking kaiju and everyone, again me included, thought that it felt rushed, but everytime i rewatch it i think... no it wasnt, actually. because we see it expecting a big fight or thinking it needs a whole lot to fix, but it doesnt. its not a fight, its someone having a mental breakdown and thinking theyre purely unlovable and evil, but being made to see that they are still lovable and arent evil even after all the bad theyve done, theyre loved unconditionally, and that other stuff mostly really doesnt matter (and hey, it can be fixed/dealt with later, its fine!)

its just my favorite show ever, specifically future! and i really wish other people would see what i see, but do i even need to try..? i didnt really write it very well anyway, but drafts exist for a reason. idk ive just been thinking about it a lot

TL;DR: i adore steven universe future and im wondering if anyone thinks its even necessary for it to be analyzed for people to maybe better understand it/do you think that there are enough people misunderstanding it that it needs a perspective to maybe help be more understood

[starseungs]

okay, if i were inside that damn fic or anyone in the fic istg minho is the real one for saying something about seungmin but ugh i also want to “get your shits together bitches or else” 🤺🤺🤺 i’m happy they are all good at the end 🥲 there were a lot of emotions like seungmin bro especially y/n kumukulo dugo ko sa inyo !! it ended happy so i’m happy, congrats for not turning this into angst 🙇🏻‍♀️

( take a shot. ksm )

REAL OMG MINHO IS THE BEST CHARACTER IN THIS NGL 😓 the way he actually keeps seungmin in check (sorry changbin but like the professionalism in minho shows more)

at the start of the story, minho's portrayed as if he's the one closest to seungmin in the industry, but as more gets revealed we see that he's not actually that much closer to him than y/n quickly became. minho joked around too, but he only ever dropped the professional speech whenever he was stressed, and seungmin never actually lets his guard down around him (also evident in minho's povs) still he tries to be a good pillar for seungmin since even though you wouldnt classify them as close friends, minho still cares a lot about seungmin. maybe with the development with y/n, also bringing changbin into the circle, he'd finally see seungmin in his natural state and become closer !! but thats for others to think about since its kinda an open ending

for y/n and seungmin, they clashed a lot in the beggining because i practically made them to be exact parallels of each other (even changbin and minho are), but as they communicate more it shows their similarities and how their differences can fill each others' gaps. theyre still immature af for doing all that in a high-profile film (sorry im a T in mbti) but i guess its reasonable enough especially in a place far away from home, tensions can run high and you could see a different side of you that you never wouldve considered in your natural habitat. another factor would be what theyve gone through from the academy up til the present in the industry. still i hope you see them as a couple with potential now that theyve sorted things out !!

i was never tempted to make this angst actually 🧍‍♀️ i was planning for it to be romcom, but when i wrote the outline and draft, it lacked substance so i tried it out with actual enemies to lovers and it clicked (tho in the teaser it was still considered rivals to lovers until the 4th scene when i re-evaluated their dynamic and changed my mind) either way this fic was going to have a happy ending whether yall liked it or not cause for a fic this long, if i was the reader i would love for my time to be repaid AHAHAHAHAHA unless yall are looking for smth to hurt that bad (i like writing angst but im not actually good at reading angst)

it was such a long drive to the end of this fic ngl (i think u alr know abt that) but i dont think i would do as well if i didnt take that three weeks. i refused to write whenever my brain didnt have a vision and had like five revisions of the scenes that followed every time i completed one ,,, i really am happy with how it came out tho since this is now my new child fic 🤧💓

well thats it !! thanks for coming to my fic talks <3

[spiribia]

[unexploded anon] first of all about the protags: yes. yeag. ur right. that aside you cant really... make any interesting decisions in fo4? which also leads to that fixed character feel. sure you can decide which faction to join but thats it. you dont get several ways of solving things like the nv moon quest for example. as soon as they went teehee no more karma and a voiced protag it was so over.

that aside my biggest grievance with bethany esdas version of fo(esp 4)is that they simply cannot write anything that isnt "the world was destroyed and it sucks now also the brotherhood of steel is here". theyre sooo scared to move on from it— or perhaps they are just afraid to say anything? a big point of fo1 and 2 and nv is bad thing happened how do we move on from that. they rebuild! they have huge cities! theyve started printing money again by fo2! things arent great sure but they are developing!

the plot in the new show revolves around who threw the first bomb so we can all point our fingers at the real bad guy actually which feels like such a big misunderstanding to me and again shows that they simply cannot move on from the hoho! big war happen! plot. they even went and nuked the big settlements so theyre back to that status quo and its just so LAME. wheres the hopeful spark of humanity in this. wheres anything that isnt just hehe bomb go boom heres the brotherhood of steal (while simultanously yassifying the ghouls so they look less scary as if they arent a direct result of the horrors of war youre so fixated on gg)

[unexploded anon] i guess theres nothing wrong with like. things that dont have to be deeper and you can just go and play fo4 and have fun with whats there but what always gets me is that it USED TO BE. cooler. it used to be cooler and had something to say and now its just an aesthetic to sell i guess.

sad! well theres always games from 1998 and nv to play.

definitely interesting to hear perspective from a first 2 fallouts enjoyer...this is a true war never changes moment. at this point i do think the brotherhood of steel and their big old promo material power armor is probably a brand recognition association with their brand. they do also seem to lean into marketable in-universe branding like the vault boy and nuka-cola but without the irony which is a critique i've seen a lot of that i'm inclined to agree with and also unfortunately kind of funny if i'm honest.

fo4 does seem like it could be fun if it's the sort of action game you're in the market for and i think if i was in the right mood it could be something i could've gotten further in. the universe contorted me into playing new vegas and only new vegas. i was so smoothtalked by todd howard's fallout 4 e3 presentation that i resolved to get it when it came out, and to bide the time before, got fallout 3 and found i could not get it to run on my laptop. i refunded 3 and begrudgingly got new vegas as a compensation, which ran like a dream, but i didnt get past the first time in my first attempt - i found the wasteland crunchy and unnerving with its evil beasts and thought "maybe fallout 4 will be more comforting - it's more colorful". then fallout 4 came out and i could not run it. so then i turned back to new vegas. and now i LOVE the crunchy wasteland and the evil beasts.

[radiation]

i really hated baldur’s gate 3 and it pains me to say this, bc i feel like a huge jerk for being the one guy hating the thing everyone likes.

i should start out by saying im biased against it by default- i find dnd to be an extremely racist game built on some pretty terrible foundations. despite this, i tried to go in with an open mind.

the first thing i noticed was that they tried to de-racist the setting- awesome! thats great! except… they only did it for *one* race. tieflings, in original dnd, are an "evil" race and cant ever be morally good. baldurs gate 3 has a *lot* tieflings, and theyre all their own person, and none of them are inherently evil! oh, but the tieflings' first threat are goblins, an inherently evil race who cant ever be morally good.

another thing is that everyone in the game is somehow racist- theyre all spouting nonsense fantasy slurs at each other, and its clear the writers dont understand racism at all. everyone making a dnd campaign seems to treat racism as a quirky inevitability, rather than something thats learned. you dont turn racist because an elf killed your dad or something, you turn racist because youre taught that a separate group of people is something to be feared, shunned, and hated.

but what REALLY sunk it for me is the fact that youre basically a serial killer. the second someone wrongs you in any way at all you fucking Murder them. Badly. and it very quickly became hard for me to empathize with these characters because all i could think about was how many lives theyve taken. think about other video games- usually the enemies are either some form of monster (like demons from devil may cry or doom!), and when theyre humans its usually either pro-military propaganda (call of duty) or anti-military propaganda (metal gear solid… kinda LMFAO). ive had my friends defend it by being like "well its just kinda like youre a murder hobo party in dnd!" and that… makes me hate it even more.

i obviously dont think video games cause violence or anything stupid like that, but i do think that all art is pushing a message, intentionally or unintentionally, and a big part of baldurs gate is the idea that people "beneath" you dont deserve to live.

and its really a shame, because there IS a lot of stuff i loved in there. the sheer amount of interactivity is absolutely mind blowing, the characters probably would be fun if they werent serial killers, and the combat is extremely well designed and engaging. theres a lot more i could say but it would be even longer and ive already said a LOT

.

[axellis]

otayyy so b4 i start making a whole bunch of peppermint fudge posts you guys probably have to see him so here he is guy for both d.ark c.acao and s.hadowmilk ........somehow . i make it work.

under the cut i got some more specifics ++ doodles im gonna post this and then go to bed i dont really care if ppl see you just gotta endure when you start seeing the lore posts

ok so peppermint fudge is a knight in the d.ark cacao kingdom and has been for like ever . he && cacao have like some kind of homoerotic thing going on but neither of them wanted to ever broach that line because they thought the other wasnt interested . and then peppermint fudge meets blueberry lemon popsicle (aka deidei <3) and they get married which basically in their eyes squanders any kind of relationship .

blueberry lemon popsicle is a court diplomat of sorts and as such was around a.ffogato a lot to the point that she accidentally uncovered his whole plot to usurp the throne -- he has to haphazardly kill her (via poison) so she doesnt tell cacao .

but bc it was so haphazard peppermint fudge is able to connect the dots && figure out the plot as well, and interrupts a whole meeting accusing a.ffogato for killing his wife . a.ffogato is able to spin it as the ravings of a man whos gone mad + going to harm the king and is able to convince cacao to banish him . devastated, peppermint fudge declares that hes going to beast-yeast to prove his loyalty. this is all b4 the events of crk .

the whole time during their time apart theyre thinking of eachother awww

secondly during his time in b.east yeast over the years eventually it picks up the attention of s.hadowmilk who at first starts talking to him to mess with him but gets endeared . peppermint fudge definitely think hes actually going mad now but at least he can talk to someone .

theyve been talkign to eachother for ever with s.hadowmilk trying to urge peppermint fudge to go to the tree (so the beasts can awaken but maybe also to see this guy he keeps talking to!?)

hes found in b.east-yeast by g.ingerbrave & co and joins along (to get to the tree) . but at the end of the day hes still a knight and he holds his virtues incredibly high so when s.hadowmilk is pulling his evil shenanigans peppermint fudge is resistant to assist

by the end of the story he still has feelings for s.hadowmilk and ends up somehow (by request or by force idk) getting stuck in the tree w/ him . in his heart he thinks that there has to be a way to get s.hadowmilk to be good . but also part of him is happy that hes actually with someone he loves instead of parting w/ them for another time . and s.hadowmilk is kind of the same (he thinks he could get peppermint fudge to turn to the dark side ++ hes happy to be with him physically)

so current status theyre in a tree and if they break out (which i think will happen) who knows whats gonna happen next . will peppermint fudge go evil !?!?!?!?

[pinkmoondoll9shihtzu]

re parent regret article.... recently got my mom to admit she and my dad are deeply unhappy and the only reason they got married and had kids (in their early 20s, and it has dictated every moment of their lives since) is because it was what was expected of them and they felt like it was just the thing to do ... its very upsetting to think of how unhappy and unfulfilled my parents are but at the same time its kind of freeing because I understand a lot of their actions better now and their inability to raise us and give me the care I needed. this year I am older than my parents were when they had my oldest sibling and I kind of feel like im older than them now because theyve never fully grown past that point at least not as individuals. ya I suppose everyone has their paths in life and it all fits together and works and means something but it is very sad to realize your childhood was painful because your parents were really just not suited to be parents and couldn't have done any better. im trying to not be weighed down by their lack of self actualization and to be an example for them by manifesting my life in the way I want despite them being upset by it, and to encourage them to become real people now that theyre 60.. umm ya sorry your inbox has become my therapy sessions recently it just feels so much better to confess these things anonymously and write it all out to someone instead of trying to explain to someone face to face and have it deal with their responses. plus i think u understand a lot of my issues although objectively our lives are quite different! anyway yeah hope you have a nice day!!!! xoxo 2012 :3

ilu <3 i relate to much of this i will detail my thoughts below , im glad my inbox can be of use to u i believ The Confessional is a very necessary function in society it can be so transcendent to get something off your chest w/o having to affect your personal life in any way ^^ and i did have a super nice day ty i hope u did too..<3 :readmore:

it is really crazy to think about the pressure ppl face to start families , seems to be less prevalent now but yeah even 20-30 yrs ago it was just, What You Do.. for my parents, they were in love, and i think they rly did want kids, they were together for 5 years before doing it they planned it out, i DO believe they were soulmates. but then once the reality set in idrk there was just this disconnect. my dad was the more nurturing parent, and he had kids from a prior marriage so he knew wat he was in for, i think he missed my brothers a lot so he had perspective. i assume anyway. but he was also major alcoholic which i thought was normal for so long (in england it is i spose). that took up a lot of his time. i know so little about him or his inner workings its quite torturous to me lol.

and my mom is still alive but i know so little about her too, other than stuff i learned thru drunken outbursts. when i try to ask her anything remotely personal or emotional now she stonewalls me so hard :/ she's always just been closed. her childhood was Horrific tho like both her parents were still minors when she was born, her mom is a WW2 orphan and her dad was a delinquent forced to enlist in the navy instead of being sent to juvie. all the stuff she HAS revealed to me abt her life is absolutely bats**t. its awful like i genuinely can not feel a single morsel of bitterness towards my mom knowing wat she's been thru.

that being said i WAS extremely angry at her for a big portion of my life its been a journey to unravel. but at this point i feel so much forgiveness idek how i got here or when. but i love her unconditionally! i also feel that my moms self actualization was rly stunted, not even by having kids but by my dads death, and being left with these kids she has to care for alone, oh god if i try to imagine how she felt it turns my insides to stone. like it really fractured her soul and made existing problems spiral out of control. although that being said she is doing WAY better now in comparison to the past, im rly proud of her. when we talk i try to always encourage her like u say..

really the best medicine is being able to zoom out and view the big picture of Life, not just your life but how all our lives fit together, when you zoom out you can spot the patterns find the order in the chaos. for ages n ages i cldnt understand the reason everything in my life was hell while all these other ppl i knew seemed to have it so normal. Nowadays i can understand how it lead me here, the trajectory and timing of everything, it brought me a lot of EXPerience i can use to help others..Even just by having this blog where i can talk about vulnerable topics , ppl tell me it helps them, i begin to see a new sense of value in my endured sufferings. if i feel like im healing someone that heals me ..

thanx for the msg :] ermm i hope my response dont come off as traumadumping or something LOL i write this all with a matter-of-fact tone in mind. just explaining some stuff for anyone who may need it. hope u have a good night 2012-chan keep shining bright for your family.. <3pmd9

[cycle-hit]

(Previous anon) nodding in agreement in general, i just still struggle to picture exactly what ‘flipping the hourglass’ involves on its own yknow? Rei exposes muu’s cycle of abandoning her friends when they stop being useful, but the way i looked at it, i always thought it wouldve been clear upfront to muu’s friends what kind of person she is? i have difficulty fully getting that aspect that her friends betrayed her out of sudden mistrust born from rei exposing muu’s toxic behavior, when most of what we’ve seen of muu’s friends, they’ve been involved in bullying rei as well- i was assuming theyve already witnessed muu’s toxicity and betrayal against her friends. it confused me how rei suddenly would have flipped the hourglass and suddenly ‘exposed’ that when i thought muu’s friends were already aware of that behaviour and fine with it. which is why i feel like another reason would’ve been a large factor, such as muu being outed for being a lesbian. But if you have an explanation for the idea of why muu’s friends would turn against her for her arrogance and bullying of others even though they seemingly already knew about it, id be glad to read — i love muu and maybe its the Autism of me not understanding the kind of social behavior depicted, but i really do struggle to understand it why they were seemingly fine with her behaviour until rei somehow confronted them about it and ‘exposed’ it? does this make sense..

it makes sense!

the thing about muu's friends is that they werent as "close" as muu thinks they were! i think muu sort of says it herself somewhere but i dont remember where- but its very likely the only reason they "clung" to her is because muu is rich, muu gave them things.

whatever emotional attachment muu had to them wasn't reciprocated. her being their "queen" was probably at least slightly just in muu's own head.

theres also an interesting theory out there that the reason they ditched muu so fast could be because muu isnt ACTUALLY rich, and that shes just pretending to be. once she lost that symbol of status and her friends realised that the things she gave to them weren't actually of value, they lost interest in her. i think that theory's rly fun! but i see too much of a spoiled rich girl in muu to see that 100%. its an interesting one tho and would definitely explain some things i state here even more so! anyways.

its entirely possible that muu's "friends" weren't even aware of the cycle/behaviours muu was committed to. people get stuck with toxic people all the time and dont "notice". i think that when rei flipped the hourglass they became aware of how easily muu could throw them aside- which means they'd no longer be benefiting from muu's wealth. theyre just "using" muu, like muu "uses" haruka and those she shattered for not being able to "feed" her. she has no actual worth to her "friends" beyond giving them material objects. turning on muu so quickly wouldve been easy to them.

i assume the three girls we see her with in INMF in the bug zone dancing over the shattered pieces are the same as the girls we see in reality right afterwards- which means if muu had ever "shattered" them, she'd realise that they're "fake" as well.

if they WERE aware of muu's cycle/toxicity, they were "fine" with muu's behaviour because they were profiting off her- or were even being willfully ignorant of her actions.

theres more stuff too related to how muu isnt as much of a "queen" as she thinks she is, but my brains a little fried. heres it with not a lot of coherency

the girls circling muu in after pain like they do in the bug zone in INMF, kotoko describing muu as being in a "sorry round-robin of who's queen" in deep cover

did they all want to be "queen"? was everyones turn of getting bullied inevitable but rei made muu's turn arrive faster? was muu really "controlling" anyone with her "gentle sting"? es even says she doesnt SAY anything, but rather its just her "presence" that makes her surroundings change to suit her. muu's role in being "queen" is probably much more exaggerated in INMF than it was in reality.

tl:dr muu's friends suck and didnt actually care about her that much and were likely just sticking around muu for her wealth. so turning on her was easy bc there wasnt any attachment to her in the first place. its possible they werent aware of how toxic her behaviour was, or were willfully ignorant of it bc muu gave them material wealth.

anyways. i hope this helps?? a bit?? if muu IS canonically gay though that definitely wouldve been another nail in the coffin for her

[meet-at-tycho]

sorryyy its late and i am filled with joy and whimsy. i love them so much, my sibling always gets annoyed with me cuz theyre all i talk about.. can you blame me? to have that vast boring nothingness shift into excitement and happiness and real true love? if you were me, youd talk about it too

its so funny cuz my life seems to move in cycles, familiar patterns that ive grown really sick of.. traumatizing and terrible, horrible bloody mess.... and then the most long drawn out boring slice of life youve ever witnessed. trauma! nothing! trauma! nothing! really tired of that.. i never thought that my nothing could be broken with joy, isnt that strange? for once, im not really hurting anymore. when i do hurt, i can handle it on my own and let go, and if its too much then i know im safe to express it

ive come such a long way, i dont tend to see myself positively, but.. its hard not to be proud. guys it turns out all you need to be happy is like. LOVE isnt that so corny isnt that so unbelievably predictable... APPARENTLY its true, i guess it feels different when yr actually experiencing it firsthand

im like on the verge of tears right now but. theres no sweeter joy than this, its so fucking BIZARRE. how did it happen this way? all the little bits and pieces that fell into place, delivered me angels and made me whole again.. cheesy, i know im being cheesy but i cant help it!! im sweet on them as often as i can be but theres still a lot of things i just.. dont have the strength to say directly. so i say them here, im sure only one of you will see this anyways. but i dont need either of you to see it, just speaking my feelings out into open air eases my mind a bit more

sometimes im like wow! theres no way this is healthy im . can i really experience true love? love that doesnt hurt? love thats REAL? as much as im tempted to deny it, im living it every day!!! i wake up and theyre both there to greet me, isnt that sweet? the first people i speak to when i wake up, the last people i say goodnight to when i go to sleep

i think i just need someone, i think im the kind of person that just.. ive been alone for a while, its OKAY its whatever, ive definitely grown used to it but. i thrive when im with them, its so? maybe all i need is someone else to keep me here.. ive got two!!!!!

maybe thats not clear enough

the way id get through that droning loneliness is escapism, nonstop daydreams and dissociation, i was barely here. only to eat and take care of my body a little bit, then its back to fantasy, because .. theres people who love me in my dreams! but.. im honestly finding it so hard to slip back into that habit now. its scary, because its whats kept me safe. hiding in fiction has kept me safe, kept me calm, happy.. but i cant shake it out of my head!!!! any time i try to fall back into those routines, the only thing i can think of is THEM.. like yeah this is great and all but.. i dont want to be trapped in my head anymore!!! theyre out there, i want to be out there..

if im honest? its terrifying. im forced to come to terms with ME as a person, who i am, something ive neglected to acknowledge for my entire life, but. im so completely wrapped up in my love for them that i hardly think about that!!!!! for once, it sorta almost feels like time is moving how it should be.. like every day that passes is different, every day that passes is SPECIAL. it hurts me to say this, but i think i love being alive? can you imagine that? how is it possible that two strangers could just.. fall into my life one day and before i even know it, im healing, im happy, im whole. MAKE ME SICKK its so foul. its almost pathetic!!! is that really all ive needed? this whole time, and i couldnt find ONE proper candidate throughout 20 years of life? its hard to really be upset about it, cuz.. ive got them now. thats all that matters

idk, i just. i think its really telling the kind of people they are, i know im only me, but.. for what its worth, theyve improved my life so drastically, i wouldve never thought id see myself happy like this. they do that for me, they do that and so much more. i love you 💞