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vyladromeave · 11 months

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If MCD gets turned into a book I am almost certain the autism ghosts will possess me again and I’ll have to making a 5 hour long rant with a conspiracy style string chart on my wall

GOD mcd as a book genuinely makes me both so excited and terrified at the same time. I've had this ask sitting in my inbox for like a day now because idk entirely how to voice all the opinions i have about this. AT THE VERY LEAST: It's cool that Jess hasn't forgotten entirely about MCD, and while it sounds like the plans to continue myst are more clear/doable (its the same format she's always done, all it takes is for her to write a conclusion she feels satisfied with. which is definitely a large feat but it feels more in-reach than expanding on mcd right now), its cool that theres still an interest for MCD as well.

SORRY THIS POST IS ABOUT TO GET LONG TURNS OUT IM VERY MENTALLY ILL ABOUT THIS SERIES WHO COULDVE GUESSED. SORRY. HERE'S YOUR CHANCE TO ESCAPE PLEASE TAKE IT NOW.

CONTINUING: MCD continuation sounds like it is not in reach right now, and not entirely a priority either. It's not even in pre-production yet, it sounds like she hasn't even decided on a format to release it as, which means relatively zero work has gone into making that yet. (Beyond the guideline that has already been written for it in the form of the existing MCD story that we know and are familiar with.) We don't even know if it would be a book!! JESS doesn't even know if it would be a book!! I don't know how I'd feel about it if it WAS a book! She's been vocal about wanting something akin to an anime or animated series before iirc (though i dont remember the source for this so correct me if im wrong), so it could be that thats still something she wants to pursue with and getting a whole animated show at a good quality is hard! I don't know!!! Nobody knows!!!! (And I don't know if she's ever even produced anything aside from Youtube Video Storytelling/RP series. Sure she has a very successful toy line, but that's not really a writing/storytelling medium. And I guess there's the music videos, but those are... um......... bad........ And we know she's no stranger to fanfic, thanks to the fucklist if nothing else, but i've literally never SEEN her writing go towards something that wasnt a Minecraft Youtube Video. On this note, if anyone is familiar with work Jess/the team has done for something that ISNT the medium of things she posts to her youtube channel, please send it my way I'd be very interested in checking it out.)

I think I'm glad that at the very least, it wont be produced in the same style as her modern rps (the style used for mcds3 + modern mystreet content + Rebirth too actually...) because I really don't enjoy that style... to me a big part of MCD honestly is the fact that things are for the most part kept in Aphmau's POV of things, something they ditch alot in modern rp content. But switching that format to something else might not lend to telling it the same way. Which is scary to me!! (honestly I personally think mcd would function really well as a first person visual novel or something along those lines. but if anything, that might require more writing than a book would, since there'd be choices and paths...) And obviously ppl HAVE attempted things similar to retelling mcd as a book before, there might be more MCD rewrites out there than MCD fanfics at this point tbh im not blind. But there's still the difficulty of being able to tell that story well in a medium it was not originally produced in/arguably meant for.

There's also the point of: I don't really Like a lot of the more recent choices Jess has made with MCD's story somewhat recently. The stuff with Irene in Mystreet just feels like a mess, I don't like the idea of the two having crossover. And while Rebirth for the most part was pretty good, there are still some things I have gripes with, mostly with how Aphmau is presented as a character and agency problems she's had since all the way back in mcd s2. There's a very real possibility that I just wont enjoy MCD as the way Jess wants to tell it now. And thats like fine, obviously, but it is also a little disheartening.

and then there's the point of: still knowing that i probably won't like how it ends, WE WILL LIKELY GET AN ACTUAL END. can you imagine that. MCD with an ending. a canon ending. I doubt it would be in the first installment of whatever MCD gets published as (if it gets published at all), seeing as even in Rebirth jess was planning on it having 2 seasons, but still. Even if I don't like the ending, the idea that there will BE ONE OUT THERE for me to bounce off of is incredible to me.

when it comes down to it: i honestly don't have much hopes of MCD ever being officially finished in any capacity. I hate to be a downer about it so soon after news that Should be Good. But the fact that she doesn't even know what MEDIUM she wants it to be in is not a good sign. If it Will ever be officially published in some form, it's likely it won't be for a very very long time. Not like mcd fans are strangers to waiting, but still. As a professional MCD Waiter, I would not be surprised if we are left waiting forever. It happened with original mcd, it happened with rebirth, i do not doubt it will continue happening for a very long time. I'm scared to get my hopes up for a finished story of any kind, because it's never approached Finished before. Its very hard for me to get excited over something I know will likely be abandoned, possibly before it's even been started.

but yeah if we get mcd book ill read it probably. ya know. whatever or something. <guy who is trying not to look like he cares about this a lot

#ask #long post #big post #THIS GOT LONG JESUS CHRIST. RUN WHILE YOU CAN. SORRY.

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rookiespropeller · 1 year

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im in one of those phases rn where i profoundly miss ogcp's 2010-2012 era. like, i would've loved for the game to freeze there. keep new stories + new parties going ofc, but in that same style & vibe.

which is kinda what cpl is attempting to do, and i really do love the server, but theres only so much u can achieve w a team of around 10 volunteers (only 2 of them able to work full time, soon only 1) when updates need to be pumped out left n right

i watched an old ogcp video on youtube and saw that the lights at the dance club turned a different color as enough penguins changed to wear the same color. i had genuinely forgotten that was a thing, with how long it's been and how used i am to simply... not have that feature. but ofc the memories came back to me instantly and i longed to go back in time to live it again.

i really miss small details like these. not that many ppl care abt them, but to me it makes the world come a little bit more alive. i'm probably never gonna experience those lights changing by color again & it makes me sad

edit: rambling goes on below the cut bc i wanted my the rest of my thoughts to be on the post itself, not just in the tags

ofc its not just about the lights, but u get what i mean. with a large professional team who gets paid to keep things rolling, has enough employees + ressources to work on multiple things at once... theres a lot more u can do. and unfortunately, no cpps will ever be able to have that

like even going back to comparing w cpl. cpl cant have a weekly updating newspaper, or even any newspaper at all, bc theres not enough ppl to 1) write it 2) create/find fitting artwork to go on the pages 3) code it and put it into the game and 4) repeat all these steps on a regular basis. and the newspaper is only ONE thing among so many

there are lots features that are planned & already announced. they'll all get done eventually, but the thing is that if one feature is being worked on, there's no time to work on anything else. meanwhile, the community is expecting parties & events at the same rate the ogcp team was churning them out (and i don't blame them for it, new content and parties are a big part of what keeps the game active & exciting). problem is, whenever parties need to be worked on, development of new features is halted.

& then of course you can't forget to update the hidden pins, the Penguin Style, the Furniture + Igloo catalogs, the igloo music selection, the stage plays, the ice rink turning into the stadium (and vice versa) along with a new Snow & Sports, the blog posts, the community board, etc. etc. this is just what's coming at the top of my head. most of these are already not updating as often as ogcp updated them, yet are still incredibly difficult to keep up with

& THEN between all of that, there are bugs that need to be patched. but ofc no one wants to work on bugs when they're already completely exhausted from the rest of their workload + they're not getting paid for any of it

after all of this, it's near impossible to squeeze in stuff like garden animations at the mine shack, a working puck/soccer ball at the ice rink/stadium, stage scripts with clickable chat... or even color-changing lights at the dance club.

god this makes me so upset but its literally no ones fault. theres not much anyone can do abt it & it breaks my heart

i miss club penguin.

#gahhh sorry for rambling #i didnt intend on making 75% of this abt cpl but it's what im familiar with so its all i have to contrast with ogcp #max.txt

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lucy-fake · 10 months

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thoughts on LSD

tw mental health and discussion of drugs

i have a tendency to fall back into habit. when im the one holding the reins for my life, it's so much easier to just do the same things everyday rather than to perpetually be planning out new things to do. this is problematic for a few reasons. for one, at the end of my life i don't want to look back and realize it was all a monotonous blur. but also, while my autism values having a daily routine, my adhd hates it. if i do the same thing everyday i eventually get bored and cannot bring myself to keep up with it. these two fight a war with each other, and the end result of that war is that i usually end up doing nothing at all.

every time i try to get into a healthy routine i slowly strip away all the little steps in it, one by one. one day i dont want to get up early, because im so fucking tired of getting up early, so i sleep in that day, and then one day becomes two, and then getting up at a set time is no longer part of my routine. i don't have time to take a walk one day, because i slept in late, so i stop doing it for one day, and then one day becomes two, and then taking a walk is no longer part of my routine. this also happens with brushing my teeth, eating a proper breakfast, taking a shower, doing my remote work, etc (i still do these things but irregularly). soon it collapses and all that's left is, i wake up at whatever time i wake up, and then i get on the computer, and when i get too tired to stay awake i go to bed. i eat when i cant go any longer without eating and i shower when i cant go any longer without showering, but those are more hindrances that get in the way of wasting time on the computer. i recognize this pattern but it's difficult to stop it, because it requires no energy to continue wasting time on the computer, and doing anything other than wasting time on the computer would be a devation from the routine i've now settled into. what a mess - even writing this right now is more than i usually do.

when i say wasting time on the computer i do mean wasting time. scrolling social media, chatting on discord, and sometimes watching youtube videos, but rarely anything else. there are lots of productive things i could use a computer for - i could do my work, i could look for other jobs, i could make videos, i could make mashups, i could write stories or scripts, i could learn the new skills i've been wanting to gain. but i don't. i could even do things not typically thought of as productive like watching tv shows and movies i've been meaning to, playing games i've been meaning to, listening to music i've been meaning to, but i'm usually not doing those either. those require commitment, and that commitment to doing something other than nothing doesn't vibe with the routine i've fallen into. besides, if i started a big project and it took longer than a few days to complete, i'd probably get tired of doing that too.

this all makes it out to sound like i'm depressed, and i'm not going to dismiss that as a factor - i have been depressed at points. but while my tone in describing this rut isn't particularly excited for obvious reasons, i'm really feeling fine at the moment. i had the motivation to write all this, didn't i? i think ultimately tho, when you've been alive for long enough to be an adult, it can just become more difficult to find novelty in the same things you've seen everyday for your entire life. there's a massive beautiful world outside but it's a constant unchanging presence so i eventually learn to tune it out. having community helps, but my irl friends are too far away to hang out with more than once a week at most, and all it takes is a few days of not messaging them for it to turn into months of not messaging them. and because this is my own life, i don't have anyone in charge of me who can make sure i do the things that will make me feel better.

…..at this point, if you're still reading, you might be wondering why this post is titled "thoughts on LSD". let's get to that now!! LSD and psychedelics in general are characterized in pop culture mainly as causing you lose touch with reality and get lost in a world of trippy kaleidoscopic hallucinations. that is something that they can do, if you take particularly high doses, and maybe some people take them just for that. but the visuals have always been the most boring aspect of them for me. i'm more interested in the less literal way that they can change how i see things.

i'm writing primarily about acid because while i think mushrooms are great too, i haven't taken a full dose of them in a while, typically just smaller doses while out dancing with friends (which can also do positive things for my mental health, but that's another story). what i like about acid is that it strips away all those feelings of habit. it makes everything seem new to me again. sure, it makes stuff look kinda Weird too, but to me there's a greater sense of appreciating things for what they actually are. there are so many little details to everything you've been conditioned to stop taking notice of. the cracked paint in my room is beautiful, the rustling of trees outside is beautiful, the whole earth is beautiful - this is all still true without the acid, but when i've fallen back into habit, i can forget to pay enough attention to notice it.

on acid those feelings of "i can't do _ because i never do that" are gone too. i'd been meaning to put up the posters in my room for ages but was always paralyzed thinking about how to start it. on acid, i want to put the posters up, so i take them out and start putting them up!! i want to clean my room, so i just get up and start cleaning - it's kinda fun, even!! i want to try out my camera at the park, so i grab my camera and take a walk there and take so many pictures because everything around me is so beautiful !! i don't come up with reasons for why i can't do these things, i just think "why don't i just do it?" and then i do it. and when i think that, i'm right - there's no real reason why i can't do any of these things normally. i just forget that sometimes when i get out of the habit of doing them.

this next bit is something that truly stunned me!! i've been on-and-off practicing my voice training for years and made some amount of progress but never fully got the hang of it. i understood what i needed to be doing to get it to sound better, but it was difficult to actually do it because it's such a departure from the way i've spoken for my entire life. one time on acid though, i forgot the habit of how i usually talk. i was feeling a lot of gender euphoria, and i felt feminine in my head, so i just went to talk and…. it was a perfect feminine voice. the one i had never been able to do. all of a sudden it was coming almost completely effortlessly because i had a chance to start from zero. NOW GRANTED, though i was doing the voice great for the rest of that day and in the next few days while i was in the afterglow from it, that ease did eventually wear off. since then i've been back to on-and-off struggling with being able to get it into the right place. but i'm definitely better off with my voice than i was before, and just the fact that that happened at all renewed my hope for voice training and gave me the push to keep at it.

i mentioned the afterglow in that last paragraph. i'm lucky enough to have not had a bad trip yet, partly because i take set and setting seriously and partly because i've never had a desire to push the dosage too high. so if all goes well during the trip i usually continue to feel good after the lsd wears off - most noticeably for the rest of the same day, but more subtly i'll be feeling rejuvenated for at least a few days afterward and have an easier time bypassing my usual mental blocks. one time i was even feeling wonderful and at peace for weeks after i took it!! but sometimes the next day is just a regular old monday. the afterglow isn't something to bet on, and if you take it often it'll probably begin to feel less and less magical. physically there's not much risk associated with taking acid too often, you can't overdose on it or anything, but liiiiikeee it just generally isn't great to become dependent on a substance to feel normal. plus the fact that it costs money.

in case it needed to be said, acid is not a cure-all!! as my weird transphobic plug once said, you can have the most profound revelations on psychedelics and it won't make a difference if you don't continue to work on yourself when you're sober. that's something i'm still struggling with of course, but i try to keep it in mind. and also this whole post was mainly focused on mental health since that's what's been on my mind recently, but i need to say it - psychedelics are fun!! it's fun to dance on them and watch movies and stuff on them (be careful with what u watch tho) and while you're on them it can just feel like everything is fun!! like, they are recreational drugs, i'm def not in denial about that. but people are already aware of that, and at least for me, they can be really helpful too.

the last thing i want to say is. while i usually try to avoid looking into the mirror on acid (a good rule of thumb, certainly don't try it if u dont know what ur doing), there was one time where i wanted to face myself and i did it. i was looking at my reflection, and at first i thought i looked nice, and my face started to morph to look prettier in response to that. but then the self doubt and dysphoria came in, and my reflection started to look weirder and more masculine. and as i was standing there i asked myself an honest question - "Yes or no, do you believe it that you're a girl?". i thought about it. and the answer was yes. then i asked myself another question - "In spite of all your flaws, do you love yourself?". i thought some more, and the answer was also yes. and in that moment, not only did my reflection become easier to look at, but i felt so much joy and relief. and while i still doubt myself from time to time, when it happens i try to just think back to that and remember. i am a girl, and i love myself.

soooo why am i writing this? um. i dunno!! i wanted to get my thoughts out, share my experiences, thought maybe at least one other person would find it helpful (sorry if you didn't!). tho i do want to make clear that these are just my experiences. if reading this makes anyone want to try lsd, please dont just rush into it with no further research. i've had great experiences on it, but some people have absolutely terrible experiences on it. even if you don't have a bad trip some people just might experience the drug completely differently than i do and wonder what the hell i'm talking about. it depends on so many personal factors. if you want to learn more, here is a good place to start:

#ramble

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pikawarrior · 8 months

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Welp welcome back to my random rambles im just gonna talk bout alot of random stuff mainly my stories so here for go lets hope this is understandable

Story/maybe comic stuff

Turning of the orange | The Strawberry Patch - Old soon to be remade/written stop motion strawberry shortcake zombie movie me and my dad were making when i was in elementary schoolish. We unfortunately didnt make it that far since he had to leave often and for long times cuz work, but recently i found my old tablet with all the pics and my notes so rework time baby. Im about to use all my years of angst/horror writing to fuck these bitches up even more

The Butterfly Effect and It's Consequences | The Phoenix Effect -

The Butterfly Effect is my main rottmnt fanfic series. About my little rottmnt oc's (Ame) life and how the gang adopting them into the family changed everything mostly for the better but the bad things kinda got alot worse. Idk been focusing on the phoenix effect more

The Phoenix Effect is kinda an extension of that. Its basically the same thing but adds the cass apocalypse series into it. Basically how future Ame being there also changes things and how oopies mystics powers are hard to control after being half dead in stasis for about 12 years hope Ame does trys to leave to protect everyone from himself only to get kidnapped putting everyone in worse danger also oopies isnt that the super dangerous alien someone accidentally freed awhile ago

The Future Diary - So i watched The Hot Box's video on the anime future diary and well here we are

Another rottmnt oc thing. Ame obtains a diary from his future self being like "hey so the world is gonna end soon here's how i think you could possibly stop that. Pls dont do this all alone ur like 5" and ame decides to do it all by himself.

Got all eight chapters planned out already with two already at stage two (aka fully written out just needs to be edited and stuff). I just dont know how to use ao3 in this sense or how to tag stuff plus i got anxiety so its just sitting in my notes app

Video stuff cuz yes

Currently working on a few more special videos. On my channel ive technically reached 100 videos (i unlisted alot of old ones/never posted a bunch more so technically i reached that months ago but shhh let me have this) plus i got 135 subs now so celebrations are in order. Idk what to say bout this, am making a video using the ok ko ending song idk the name, one is a fake collab a friend made and another is an original meme a youtube mutual/friend by association made. Plus like so mant mini things for my ocs, Dimension and Watcher are gonna get so much development and cute couple moments.

Also everyone else is gonna go through so much trauma my gods its gonna amazing.

Also ive been trying to like voice things, audio quality sucks cuz im working off of my tablet but like ive voice a few of my own videos (only one posted) and like its so fun i wish i had proper stuff to do this so i can do it more

Other art stuff

I got a toyhou.se (its EnviousDeath), pls enjoy these characters and stuff

Im trying to make my art more mess and chaotic while staying clean? If that makes any sense. Still a lover of doing gacha stuff but am trying to branch out more.

Also btw how do people just idk do social stuff like trade characters, comment, and just aaaa idk what am doing i forgot how to do social stuff and also i never understood how to do this type without being awkward as hell

Character stuff

Watcher - *slaps religious trauma onto them* bitch gets sacrificed. Okay okay so Watcher, wasnt always Watcher. Before they used to be Ena a simple kid who was sent away for reasons i havent thought of yet to a church. Blah blah corruption, Watcher gets sacrificed for not falling in line blah blah they were saved and given a second chance.

Dimension - *slaps alot of anxiety and identity issues onto her* bitch got issues. Same as Watcher, Dimension wasnt always Dimension. Before she was Ellie a poor girl hated by her whole town because of the lies their mother spread about them and their father who had left years ago. She only had one friend, Watcher. Somehow they managed to make contact with each other despite being in different universes. Eventually Dimension snapped and went on a killing spree, slowly ripping apart her world in the process because this wasnt supposed to happen (think spiderverse canon events but different ill explain later) with her world crumbling around her, Dimension messages Ena one last time, not knowing Ena was already long gone, and accepts what they assume to be death only to fall into whats basically the anti void from utmv, gets corrupted and became a villain technically more of a multiversal criminal.

(For time and length reasons im cutting this segment short)

Multiverse stuff

OKAY TIME FOR WORLD BUILDING

How does what happened to Dimension's universe work? The way i explained it is like spiderverse canon events but different, but heres the details. Idk how to explain this but bare with me

Imagine each universe as a game in a folder on a computer. Each game has different code, story, art assets basically all are mostly different.

Most games are coded to have very specific story events and when something goes wrong everything breaks. Like take a spaghetti thing of code that shatters the moment you try to do something like trying to talk with an npc while having a status effect and thats how some of these worlds are like. And Dimension's was very much one of those worlds, and her breaking down like that shattered the code of their world and everything fell apart.

Im too tired to continue but my main multiverse is like one big computer own by a game creator who only sometimes knows how to make a stable game

Feel free to ask about any of what ive just ramblef about am always willing to ramble bout my stuff

#reaperspeaks

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p-taryn-dactyl · 1 year

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💖 👀 🥇 👨‍👩‍👦 🌝 🧠 💻 and 🍰 please! (Or any combination thereof. Don't feel like you have to do all of them!)

💖: What do you like most about your own writing?

I like how much effort I put into each project, no matter how long or short it takes me to write and the length of my writing. I do like how I (try) to make each one as personal as possible so it's easier and fun for readers.

👀: Do you have any WIPs that you would never let see the light of day? If yes, what are they about?

oh absolutely!! lol. I have a few crossover fics that I wrote purely for my own enjoyment but I would literally never post them. it's hard to describe them but it's just basically if multiple of my fandoms all joined together to stop the multiverse from collapsing and they're not reader insert it's literally me, im the main character ok. I just needed to write them.

🥇: What is something you recently felt proud of in regard to your writing (finished a fic, actually planned for once, etc).

I felt really proud of me planning out my next few fics and I also felt proud of me being able to get rid of a few requests and WIPs, which sounds mean but sometimes I can't write everything and it makes me sad but im proud I was able to do that without immense guilt

👨‍👩‍👦 :Do you tell people in real life that you write fic?

...yes. but only if I really trust them. like my best friend. but also sometimes I tell people if I know something about them that I can reveal if they tell anyone about my fanfics in an embarrassing light. yes I blackmail, it's not a big deal. (for legal purposes this is a joke)

🌝 : Who is one character you haven’t yet written for that you would like to?

uhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh that's a good question! there's a few from Stargate like Vala Mal Doran and then there's characters from The Vampire Diaries and the Originals like Rebekah and Caroline. but from Marvel I would say like romantically I would like to write for sam Wilson.

🧠 : What’s an idea you have that you can’t quite call a WIP yet?

hmmmmm lets see. do any of my requests count I have a lot of moon knight related ideas as well as a few Kate bishop fics that have been born as bullet points but not yet grown into a WIP

💻: Do you do research for your fics? What’s the deepest dive you’ve done?

oh hell yeah I research! I hate when I get things wrong, which happens a lot, so I tend to dive deep into a lot of different topics. For CIAFOM, I started just looking up minor gods and ended up down a spiral of articles and YouTube videos connecting the Egyptian Ennead, the Greek Pantheon, and one other major religion in the world today which just blew my mind because im actually quite interested in how religions have molded over time! there was one fic I was going to write that I had a deep dive on but it didn't work out lol, but now I know a little too much about ravens

🍰: Name one of your fave comfort fics (doesn’t have to be your all time fave).

so a lot of my comfort fics are angsty bc... I don't know why

I cannot for the life of me find it but it's a merthur fic with insecure!merlin and...smut where he and Arthur film a video and merlin hates the way he sounds and it becomes a thing where Arthur thinks merlin is breaking up with him and merlin thinks Arthur is disgusted by him

I really like fics where my favorite character experiences whump...ik its bad but I need it.

I also like a lot of fluffy fics too don't get me wrong but I don't actually have a fic that I come back to a lot...I wish I did but...

I'm sorry I didn't answer sooner! I thought I had but as it turns out, you kinda need to press post for anything to...post

thank you so much for the ask! I love answering these questions even if they sometimes make me stare at the screen trying to convince myself that I like something about my writing

#taryn answers asks #taryns ask games (?)#aparticularbandit #i love this

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content-crater · 2 years

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Video Creation

Hi, It's Max again. So now that you have the basic rundown of everything I am just gonna be talking about my process. And reviewing one of my friends I make videos with. And he also makes YouTube videos sometimes.

So I start by getting a basic Idea of what I want to do. And since I make gaming videos its usually a challenge or I talk about a topic. Or my favorite. Just sitting down having fun on a game with a friend and turning it into a video. So I usually try to have 30+ minutes of footage but I try to keep it under 2 hours. Just because you don't want to have your video be super long. Unless that's the type of content you make then have fun with it. So after I get my footage I chop everything up. A big tip I wish I heard a long time ago was to chop it up so that you don't have a ton of silence. For example if you're making a call of duty video if you're not talking or there isn't something interesting happening. Cut it out. No one wants to look at you run around. Unless you're like hacking.

After I chop up my videos I add captioning. Which is more of an advanced thing and I don't even do it in every video because it takes SO LONG. If I chose you chose to do it though just know depending on how long your video already is it will take around 2 hours longer to edit the video.

Following my captioning I add background music. I usually use instrumentals from musicians like Playboi Carti, Kanye West, Tyler The Creator and more 80s/90s songs are good for it aswell. Just know that you might run the risk of getting a copyright claim. Which would matter if you made money from monetization on YouTube but since you're just starting out it wont be a problem. If you want to play it safe here is a link to a ton of non-copyrighted music.

Then I make the thumbnail in Photoshop take it over yo YouTube and think of a title. Try to search videos like yours look what the most popular videos have in their titles. Try to make it similar to theirs. Try to make your thumbnail flashy as well. Just so people get interested. Press the upload button and BAM A BILLION VIEWS.

Obviously im joking. But share your videos on social medias. it helps for growth.

Now I will be interviewing my friend Tyson who I make videos with and hes made a few videos himself.

“What do you think is the hardest part abut making videos?”

“Personally I think that one of the hardest parts of making videos is the editing process because you need so much experience to be a good editor.”

“Do you enjoy the recording process?”

“I do enjoy the recording process because it isn't fake, we are genuinely having fun when we are recording.”

“What do you like about my videos? What could I do better?”

“I really enjoy watching your videos knowing what happened while making the video and I think that this is some real skill that will help you a lot later on in your career. You could be better at getting your content out there I see the Tik Toks on my fyp every once in a while but otherwise I don't see it And you could upload more because you haven't posted in two months from the day i'm writing this.”

I agree with his points on what I could do better. I do plan on posting TikToks and Instagram posts to promote my videos. And yes. I need to get better at posting. I will hopefully get a video out tomorrow from when this is being posted.

#youtube #gaming #video games #video editing #video production #youtube shorts #youtube channel #callofduty

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0daytrick0 · 2 years

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Week 3 University

So, week 3. Only feels like I just wrote my last blog post 😅.

Well... So far I have managed to complete 1 quiz of 12 as well as three modules worth 5% each.

It's been tough, and I still have a lot of catching up to do. But, in saying that, what I have managed to complete I have gained high grades for. Not only that, but what I am up to date with, I am doing well in.

I still have a lot of work to do tomorrow. One of which includes me going out to print my online notes. Another includes me studying math and doing revision so I can complete my next quiz and smash my module next week.

I haven't had to work much. But, this is partly due to me being very specific on what hours I will work. I want every second Saturday off so that every fortnight I can have a break from both work and studies so that I don't suffer from burnout. Or, in worse cases... Depression.

Through my years of schooling I have had a constant battle of balance in my life. I have often fallen in many dark depths because of choosing the grind over my mental health.

Since meeting my partner, this has changed heaps. Having that support to rely on, no matter what, really does make all the difference. And for that I am always grateful. But, I still need to keep that balance as there is only so much I can rant about before I need to take action.

My job can be difficult as I am only a casual worker. So, they will call me AT LEAST once a week to come in on one of my rostered days off. Not only this, but the hours I am available tend not to suit them enough. When I first started, all I got was hours, covering everyone and working shifts on my own. But now, with me doing uni full time, I have put my foot down quite constantly with when I am available—one concerning this weekend. Long story short, I have been asking for weeks to have every second Saturday off, and finally, this week, I got it. But then my manager asked me to work it since I'm still on the roster (as he didn't fix it as we discussed). I lost my bananas (calmly) and proceeded to send him a firm message about how I won't since I had made plans and how we discussed twice about him fixing my roster. This seemed to get through to him.

Luckily for me, my partner works hard long hours so that I can have this privilege to study more than I work whilst living on our own. As I said, I am very lucky to have him 🥰.

I have a lot of assessments, modules and quizzes due this month, but if I keep the grind, I will manage.

I'm still trying to time manage better. I seem to be more productive with studying in the afternoons to early night. During the mornings I always find myself getting distracted. First it will start with eating breakfast and watching a YouTube video. One YouTube video will turn into two. Then before I know it, I have watched a bunch of other people study and manage their lives whilst im still sitting there with my empty plate of crunchy peanut butter toast.

To make matters worse, when I do finally sit down, one of my dogs will bark, so I will get up to go investigate. This usually leads me to then hang outside for the next half an hour sitting in the sun with them.

Sometimes when I come back inside, I will at least put a lecture on, but get distracted with household chores such as laundry and dishes.

In summary, I procrastinate a lot. But with productive things at least! (Such as writing this blog post 😶).

Today in general I have felt very tired. I woke up with my partner and stayed up. Usually I fall back asleep until my own alarm goes off, but not this time. Because of this, my eyes have felt so tired and I have had a lack of motivation to properly complete tasks. I somehow got everything that I wanted to get completed, done. But I still feel like I haven't achieved enough today. Hopefully that will change tomorrow when I go to the uni campus do print my notes. Maybe I will come back a little inspired.

Anywho, that's enough from me for now. I shall drop in next week.

#studying #university #blog #rant #study #Spotify

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falcqns · 3 years

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Hii i have this request in mind like Chris Evans x Actress! Singer! Reader like the reader and chris dated for 3y idk but they broke up but the reader always visit chris’ family bc she treated them like family aswell specialy when the reader’s parents died so she spend Christmas there or any occasions bc chris’ family invite her and when chris got a new gf the reader is kinda hurt bc she still love chris but she try to look like she doesn’t care but then she released her new song its called deja vu (by olivia rodrigo) and she release it to her bday so when the song is released the fans knew its abt chris bc of the new gf (chris’ fam doesn’t like the new gf and the fans kinda didn’t support them bc of the girl’s attitude) and chris’ family invites her over bc they want to show the reader something and when the reader got there they surprise her for her bday and congratulate her and turns out chris is there too with his new gf🤨and the reader knew chris’ new gf hated her bc of her look and scott called you all to the living room and watch the mv of the reader’s new song and when the mv ends scott and the fam congratuleted the reader and chris’ gf is giving the reader looks again and chris is noticing it and when the reader is in the kitchen alone getting something chris talk to her and congratulate her and chris’ new gf wrapped her arms around chris and chris tried to stop her to make a scene but she started a scene and scream at the reader but the reader cut her off and embarrassing her and the reader prove the new gf shes first not her (idk if that make sense lol) and the new gf leave(idk you can make her a random name so its not only “new gf”) and the reader and chris talk and they got back together, you can do wha you want at the end this is just so random bc i was listening to deja vu and advance thank you if you do my request! Stay safe! ❤️ and im so sorry if this is so long

Deja Vu

pairing: Chris Evans x singer!reader

warnings: parents death, major angst, fluff.

a/n: thank you for the request! Hope you enjoy!

You had known Chris since college, when you had met him in your communications class. You two had grown close quickly, and became best friends.

He brought you home every Christmas Eve, before you would go home to your parents house on Christmas Day. You had always felt like a part of the family, so when your parents passed a way, you turned to him.

You and your parents were driving home from a Christmas Day church service, when you were hit by a semi truck. It had completely totalled the car, and your parents had died on impact. You had been sitting in the back, and only had a broken leg from where your moms seat had been pushed back into it roughly.

You had been pulled from the car and sat in a second ambulance, while your parents were transported in another. You knew you'd never forget watching that ambulance door close and drive away, knowing that was the last time you'd ever see them.

When the police officers asked if there was anyone you could call, you didn't know what to do. Your parents were both only children, so you had no aunts, uncles or cousins. You were an only child too, so you had no siblings, and your grandparents had passed when you were little, your other ones passing before you were born.

So when the officer asked you, you told him the Evans’ phone number. Lisa picked up on the second ring, and you tearfully explained what had happened as the shock wore off. She immediately said she’d meet you at the hospital, and not to worry, that she and Bob would take care of you.

You were taken to the hospital and treated for your broken leg. Less than an hour after you arrived, Lisa arrived at the hospital with Chris in tow. They comforted you, and took you home with them. You stayed in Chris’s room for the first few days, and when you were given your own room, you still had a hard time sleeping alone, so Chris ended up in your bed with you most nights, not that he minded.

You never went back to college, and instead turned to singing as a release from all the pain you were feeling. You started out posting covers on YouTube, and gradually progressed to getting a record deal with Interscope Records, which didn't surprise anyone who knew you. You had immense talent, and your parents used to tell you that they were counting down the days before you were a celebrity.

When Chris graduated college and told you he was moving to Los Angeles, he convinced you to come with him. Prices were high in LA, and he didn't want to be separated from you for too long, so you joined him. He got to be an actor, and you got to be a singer, which is what you both had wanted since you were younger.

You went to every one of Chris’s movie premieres, and he attended as many of your live shows as he could. You supported him through all his relationships and his breakups, and played the middle man whenever he and Jenny would fight, up until the very end. You told yourself you did that because you just wanted what's best for him, but you both kind of knew that wasn't the reason at all.

Throughout your time living together, you friendship grew, as did your feelings for each other. You'd be lying if you didn't have a small crush on him in college, and those feelings only grew as time went on, especially since the two of you decided to only get a one bedroom apartment. Mainly because it was cheap, but also because Chris made a decision a week after your parents death to never allow you to sleep alone because of the nightmares that would occur if he wasn't there.

So, when you won your first award for your first album, named ‘hand in hand’, he kissed you the second you came off the stage with your award in hand. It blew your mind that he felt the same, but you were happy nonetheless. You two began dating that night, and everything was perfect.

Until, you were invited by 5 Seconds of Summer to be their opening act on their newest tour. You had agreed, and Chris let you go. You two had been dating for over 3 years, and you thought your relationship would be fine.

You quickly realized however that that wasn't the case, when the two of you started fighting less than two weeks into the tour. The fights weren't anything major, more petty things like ‘did you change the Netflix password’ or ‘why did you take this piece of clothing, that was mine and it was my favourite.’ All around stupid fights.

You had turned to Calum, who you were closest with, and he consoled you as much as you could. You realized however, that you couldn't be with Chris anymore when he drunk called you in the middle of the night while you were in the UK and got angry with you when you answered and told him to call you back in the morning when he was sober, to which he proceeded to brag that he slept with his co star at the time, Jessica Alba, you freaked out and ended things.

You got a message from Jessica on instagram the next day letting you know that they did not sleep together, and that she was sorry he even said it. You assured her it was fine, and felt relief.

Relief because you got to the bottom of the situation, but also relief from your relationship. You didn't know what happened in those few weeks, but you knew the relationship was turning toxic, and you wanted to stop it before that happened. Neither you or Chris needed that. You told him you’d find a new place to live, and by the time tour ended, you bought yourself a house in Beverly Hills, and moved out of the apartment.

Chris moved out not long after, and bought his own house. He had tried to stay friends with you, but you didn't want that at that point in time. You were still hurting, and needed time to heal.

Once you felt ready to date again, you were asked to be Calum’s date to the Peoples Choice Awards, you accepted. You knew Chris would be there, and you were hoping to talk to him, and maybe work it out. He had told you during the break up that he would always wait for you to come back, and that he still loved you, and always would.

But you knew that wasn't the case when he showed up on the red carpet, with a new actress named Myra Woodfield. You had smiled at him, while trying not to break down inside, but he gave you a dirty look and rolled his eyes at you when Calum wrapped his arm around your waist for a picture. You furrowed your eye brows and took a good look at Myra.

She looked almost exactly like you. Same build, same hair colour, same eye colour. The only difference is that she was slightly taller than you. You didn't know why he was replacing you, but it hurt. You pushed it out of your head however, and enjoyed the night with your best friend.

It was a few months later when you were awoken by the constant dinging of your phone. You unlocked it, and saw you had a lot of unread messages from Luke, Ashton, Michael, Calum, and your other best friend Ashe about Chris’s new movie trailer, you sighed.

You watched the trailer, and sighed when it looked like a recreation of a bunch of moments in your relationship with him, only Myra was in your place.

Your fans and some of Chris’s had commented on it, and Myra immediately became aggressive with them, and insulted them. She told them that you were a nobody who could make Chris happy, which she was glad about because she made him happy how.

Within minutes of this happening the hashtag #cancelmyrawoodfield was trending on twitter. You shamelessly went through the tweets and like and retweeted a couple. Then an idea popped in your head.

With a quick google search, you had a plan.

You had written a new song called Deja Vu after the peoples choice awards, and it was had been recorded a few weeks ago, and you just had to decide on a date to release it, and make a decision on the music video. Her birthday was in about 3 months, which gave you enough time to get everything in place to drop on her birthday.

Was it evil? Yes. Did you care? Not really. Besides, you inherited your pettiness from your mother and you knew she’d be proud of you. You called your manager and label, and got it planned out.

When the new music video had been announced, Lisa called you and invited you home to watch it premiere with the family. You accepted, knowing Chris and Myra would be there, and that her birthday would get overshadowed by the release of your music video.

So, three weeks later, you were sitting with Lisa, Bob, Carly, Shanna, Scott, Chris and Myra in Lisa’s living room, waiting for the video to premiere.

Scott had picked you up at the airport earlier in the morning along with Carly and Shanna, and the four of you had a laugh about the face that no one acknowledged Myra’s birthday, not even Chris. It was mean, but no one liked her.

Lisa absolutely hated her, but didn't want to upset Chris, so you got a call shortly after the PCA’s from her and the two of you ranted about her for a good two hours.

You watched as the timer counted down from 10, and then the screen turned black. You took a deep breath and watched Chris out of the corner of your eye.

You had searched for a while for a guy who looked similar to Chris, and you stumbled on Andrew Siwicki. He didn't look exactly like Chris, but it was close enough that everyone would know who the song was about if they didn't already. Andrew was a fan of Chris and hated Myra too, so he was more than glad to help you out.

The music began to play, and you watched as the black screen faded in on two people walking along the beach, holding hands.

“Car rides to Malibu Strawberry ice cream One spoon for two And trading jackets Laughing 'bout how small it looks on you,”

The next scene was a recreation of yours and Chris’s first date where you two had a picnic on the beach, and ended up splashing each other with the ocean water. Towards the end, everyone watched as Andrew picked you up and threw you into the water the same way Chris always did.

You glanced at him, and could have burst into laughter at how uncomfortable Chris looked, but more importantly how angry Myra looked.

“Watching reruns of Glee Being annoying Singing in harmony I bet she's bragging To all her friends, saying you're so unique, hmm,”

The next scene was you and Andrew (who was dressed as Ransom) on what appeared to be a recreation of the Knives Out set, running around with a dog that looked like Dodger chasing after you, the two of you laughing. The next shot was the two of you kissing behind a trailer, seemingly hiding from production.

“So when you gonna tell her That we did that too? She thinks it's special But it's all reused That was our place, I found it first I made the jokes you tell to her when she's with you,”

The next scene was the two of you driving through Southern California, in a car that was almost identical to Chris’s. You two were laughing and singing along to the song, your hair whipping around you.

You took a deep breath, knowing this next scene would piss him right off.

“Do you get déjà vu when she's with you? Do you get déjà vu? (Ah), hmm Do you get déjà vu, huh?”

This scene was you, along with the rest of Chris’s family sitting around a living room that looked like the one you were in now, a Christmas tree full of presents in the corner. The camera panned across everyone as everyone was talking and settled on you and Andrew and the two of you recreated the scene where Chris whispered in your ear how much he loved you, and couldn't wait to start a family with you.

“Do you call her Almost say my name? 'Cause let's be honest We kinda do sound the same,”

The screen showed you and Andrew saying goodbye at the airport, with 5 Seconds of Summer standing behind you. They weren't actually there when you left for tour, but Luke suggested it to piss Chris off, and you had agreed.

Then there was a small montage of clips from tour, including a shot of Michael elbow dropping Ashton into a pool, which made everyone laugh, except Chris and Myra. The montage was followed up by you sitting on the floor of a dressing room and crying as you sent a text that said “I’m done.”

“Another actress I hate to think that I was just your type,”

Now you were on the red carpet, with Calum right beside you. You both were wearing the same clothes you wore on that night, you hair and makeup recreated perfectly. The camera unfocused on you as you turned and looked at Andrew and an actress named Alexa Morrison, who looked a lot like Myra, and they were recreating Chris and Myra’s actions perfectly. The camera swivelled around and came to rest pointing towards your face, as you looked in shock, and a single tear fell down your face.

“I'll bet that she knows Billy Joel 'Cause you played her Uptown Girl You're singing it together,”

You were shown watching a movie trailer with Ashe sitting next to you, while you sobbed at what Alexa and Andrew were doing. You looked at the camera and began singing the song, while Ashe and everything else around you was frozen.

“Now I bet you even tell her How you love her In between the chorus and the verse (ooh) (I love you),”

You were sat on the bed in Chris’s red flannel that you had stolen before leaving for tour, and you were writing in the notebook aggressively with tears rolling down your face and singing.

“So when you gonna tell her That we did that too? She thinks it's special But it's all reused That was the show we talked about Played you the song she's singing now when she's with you,”

You were now being shown sitting on the couch, and watching Andrew run across the TV screen dressed as Captain America, an ice cream tub in your hand. You were wearing sweats and a t shirt, your hair in a messy bun.

“Do you get déjà vu when she's with you? Do you get déjà vu? Oh Do you get déjà vu?”

The camera circled around you before transitioning to the next scene.

“Strawberry ice cream in Malibu Don't act like we didn't do that shit too You're trading jackets like we used to do (Yeah, everything is all reused),”

You were shown laying down in bed, and your eyes closing before an image of you and Andrew danced, dressed as Steve and Peggy in endgame, a scene Chris always told you the two of you would recreate one day. You had called Hayley and asked if it was okay, and she immediately said yes, and even came and watched you do the scene.

“Play her piano, but she doesn't know (oh, oh) That I was the one who taught you Billy Joel (oh) A different girl now, but there's nothing new (I know you get déjà vu),”

When your eyes opened, you were sitting at your piano, and playing while singing along.

“I know you get déjà vu I know you get déjà vu,”

Suddenly, the piano disappeared, and you were left standing in an empty living room as the screen faded to black.

The entire room burst into cheers as the video ended, except for Myra, who looked like she was going to murder you, and Chris who just clapped with a tight lipped smile.

Later that night after all the kids had gone to bed and Lisa was driving Bob home, Scott had pulled you into the kitchen under the pretences of ‘helping him fix a drink’, which ended up just being the two of you gossiping about Chris and Myra, and the music video.

Suddenly, Chris walked in, and nodded for Scott to leave. You cleared your throat and ignored him.

“That was a good song, and an amazing music video.” He said. “I can see you're just getting more and more talented as time-” He began, as you rolled your eyes, and looked at him.

“What do you want?” You asked bluntly.

“I just wanted to congratulate you.” He said, and you were about to open your mouth, when Myra came slinking in the room with an evil look on her face.

“Nice job, Y/N. I’m glad I could inspire your music video.” She said sarcastically, and you could tell Chris was about to defend you, but you opened your mouth first.

“Well, I’m glad I had such a snake like bitch to draw inspiration from,” You said, and heard Scott, his siblings burst into laughter in the living room. Myra’s jaw dropped and she turned to look at him. You looked up at Chris, who was leaning up against the counter, and biting back a smile.

“You’re just going to let her talk to me like that?” She asked, and Chris sighed.

“Myra, don't start. Not now.” He said, she scoffed.

“I knew you still loved her. Only a pathetic loser could love someone as ugly and untalented as her.” She spat, and Chris growled. You felt tears welling up in your eyes, and you ran out of the room, your drink abandoned on the counter.

You ran into your bedroom, where you shut the door, and fell onto the bed in tears.

Back in the kitchen, Chris had gotten in Myra’s face, and was yelling.

“DON’T YOU DARE TALK TO HER LIKE THAT! SHE’S BEEN THROUGH SO MUCH SHIT IN HER LIFE, AND I WON’T ALLOW YOU TO ADD TO THAT!” He screamed, as Scott, Carly, and Shanna ran to the door, unsure of what to do. “SHE IS SO TALENTED, WAY MORE TALENTED THAN YOU! YOU’RE THE REASON PRODUCTION TOOK SO DAMN LONG, IT TOOK FOREVER TO GET A PERFORMANCE OUT OF YOU! YOU OPENLY INSULTED HER AND HER FANS HOURS AFTER YOU WERE ANNOUNCED TO BE IN THIS MOVIE, AND THEN HAD THE AUDACITY TO COME TO ME CRYING BECAUSE YOUR LITTLE FEELINGS GOT HURT!” He screamed, and Shanna ran and backed Chris away from her.

“YOU’RE MY BOYFRIEND! AND ITS MY BIRTHDAY, YET HERE YOU ARE, CONGRATULATING HER FOR A SHITTY MUSIC VIDEO!” Myra screamed, and it was Scott’s turn to get in her face.

“You need to leave. If you don't we’re going to call the cops.” He stated, and Myra rolled her eyes before storming out of the house.

Scott turned back to Chris, and was shocked when he saw him in tears.

“You need to work shit out with Y/N. It’s clear the two of you are still in love, and you need to figure it out as adults,” Scott said, his sisters nodding. Chris took a deep breath, and looked at your closed bedroom door.

Chris walked up to your bedroom door, and took a deep breath before entering the room where he used to sleep in every night.

He opened the door, and saw you curled up in a ball on the bed, your body still shaking. He smiled sadly, and walked into the room, closing the door behind him. He sat on the bed behind you, and rubbed your back gently.

“I’m sorry. Not just for what Myra said, but for everything. For breaking your heart, and for causing you so much pain. I didn't realize how much I was missing you too until we watched that music video and I saw how truly broken you were. I never noticed that before now. And I’m sorry I didn't. If I’d have, I could have fixed this sooner, and we could be together right now.” He said.

You furrowed your brows at his last sentence and sat up.

“W-What?” You asked, and Chris moved closer. He wrapped his arms around you and pulled you into a hug.

“I still love you. So so much.” He smiled, and a tear rolled down his face. “You're my entire world, and not having you here is slowly breaking me apart. I didn't know just how much until today, but I can't live another day without you.” He said. “I’m so sorry I hurt you baby.” He sobbed, and his head buried itself into your hair. Your body shook with sobs too, and you turned around to face him.

“I love you too.” You sobbed out. “I never should have ended things, but-” You said, but were cut off by Chris’s lips on yours, and you felt yourself melting into it.

He pulled away a few seconds later. “Don't. It was my fault, not yours. I am so sorry, and I am going to spend the rest of my life making up for it, I promise.” He said, as he stood the two of you up and led you out of the room, and to his.

“Where are we going?” You asked, and Chris pressed a kiss to your cheek.

“I have to grab something.” He said. He opened his closet, and grabbed something out of the top corner before turning to you.

“I said I planned on spending the rest of my life making it up to you, and I plan on keeping that promise.” He said, as he got down on one knee. You gasped, as he opened the box and your dream engagement ring was inside. “I want you for the rest of my life, and the next. Will you marry me?” he asked, tears pouring down his face, just like yours.

You nodded enthusiastically, and Chris stood up. He placed the ring on your ring finger and scooped you up. “I love you,” You choked out, and Chris sobbed harder into you.

“I love you too, and I’m never letting you go.”

taglist:

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#chris evans #chris evans fic #chris evans x you #chris evans actor #chris evans x y/n #chris evans x reader #chris evans smut #Chris Evans x singer!reader #5 seconds of summer #ashe #chris evans x female reader #Chris Evans x fiancee reader

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vvoidsdsmparchive · 3 years

Text

ive been thinking about this a lot (and especially after techno's 6/6 stream and reading some other posts about the same topic) but

i believe that the reason lore streams are Like This now is indirectly because of the fans. before you put your dukes up, let me explain.

after wilbur stopped writing, a lot of the streams before and after the beginning of the egg arc were the same. block person walks back and forth around ugly ass server for an hour. rinse, dry, repeat and all that.

it most likely stopped being engaging for the fans, because who wants to sit around watching someone walk around the same area you've already seen with hardly any changes? i fucking didn't, and so i didn't watch as many streams for too long as i'd used to before.

(this is a whole different can of worms but ranboo's mining streams were like that for me too and so i stopped watching him for a while whoops)

i think a lot of people being bored by the walking around was really what told the creators "hey, let's try something different".

bring tales into the picture. at first it was a little goofy, two episodes about time and wacky personalities clashing together. and hey, what do you know? it fucking worked. people were excited, engaged, finally something different was happening on da white boy server!

other creators looked at something like that, which took effort, planning, time...

and suddenly the smp felt a lot emptier than it should be, no? the exile arc was just beginning and everyone began scattering, planning and figuring out where the lore should go next. people stopped streaming almost everyday and it became an event of sorts. "what'll happen this week? does anyone know who's going to stream?"

i think our excitement for the more weekly streams (and also the general angst of the exile arc) is what really hammered it home, here. we were excited for tales, for exile, for something that wasn't the rest of the smp that everyone scrambled to make something new, something better, a new land, a new country. (drywaters, snowchester, the secret city, eventually kinoko kingdom and las nevadas) something to keep the fans invested, y'know?

so when exile ended, tommy was the one to try and bring it back. a hotel right behind dream's old secret base, in front of the badlands' mansion. it worked, for a while, but it was clear that things were different.

no one was on the fucking server anymore. it's lucky to have more than like two people at a time playing anymore. this continued for so long that it's still happening to this fucking day, dude. some members are understandably not going to log on anytime soon, but the fact that only 2-5 people are on the server when there is over 30 people whitelisted?

everyone's planning or is part of some big lore. there's hardly any streams anymore (and at this point it would be much easier for quackity just to make youtube videos out of it because there is no live reaction anymore, ruining the point of a livestream. they've taken the fun out of an improv server! *angry old man noises*), the lore is big and dramatic. it doesn't feel the same anymore and tubbo and ranboo feel the same fucking way!!

and even tho those streams of people walking around aimlessly for an hour are long behind us and most likely aren't ever coming back, i would so much rather have that than the overexciting and overdramatic lore we get every month.

(NOT TO MENTION techno's streams uggggghhhhhhh. dude streams once a month and gives us 6/6? what the fuck man. to all the people who call him flat or boring on purpose: you are wrong. he absolutely has a personality and it is smug little manbaby gets taken down a peg (god i love techno). the 6/6 stream was all smug little manbaby, no pegs taken what the fuck!!!!)

(bonus: when the wait for tales turns into months instead of weeks *crabraves in tears*)

i literally spent like an hour typing out a rant about a fucking minecraft server good lord im fucking cringe

#dream smp #dsmp #dsmp critical #dream smp critical #wilbur soot #tommyinnit #dreamwastaken #karl jacobs #quackity #technoblade #tubbo #ranboo

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tteokggukk · 4 years

Text

welcome to my youtube channel → kth

✳ pairing: idol!taehyung x youtuber!reader

✳ genre: fluff, taehyung scenario, stranger to lovers, reader is an artist who posts art videos on youtube

✳ warnings: none!

✳ words: 2.9k

✳ a/n: hello, this is my second bts oneshot/scenario. i just like to write for fun but if you’d like to let me know if there’s anything i can improve on please do so! i’d love to know how to improve. anyways, i hope you enjoy!

"Hey guys, welcome to my YouTube Channel."

You spoke in front of the camera. Sets of acrylic paint were spread out across the table next to a stand that held an 18x24 inch canvas. You were in the middle of making your seventeenth video, a highly requested one at that, and deep down you were ecstatic to start working on the painting.

Never in your life did you think you would ever start a YouTube account. You always considered yourself a very shy and private person, not one to go out of their way and broadcast themselves all over the internet. Your best friends, however, were two very well-known YouTubers and always found a way to include you in their videos and live streams. Somehow people liked seeing more of you, and so you were convinced by your best friends and the audience to start your own YouTube channel.

But you weren't very accustomed to bringing a camera everywhere with you to document and share whatever was happening in your daily life, you found it too awkward and you were still camera-shy, so you decided to create content in a way that would still keep you comfortable while doing something you loved.

An art channel.

Your channel blew up pretty fast. Requests started pouring in here and there. You became known for your very calm demeanor and artistic skills, so you took this as an opportunity to sell your works online as a way to earn some extra money for your future. Occasionally, you'd do lives to talk to your fans and you were happy at the support they showed you, which only encouraged you to keep making videos.

"This was a highly requested video, and I honestly can't wait to get started," you told the camera, mentally telling yourself to insert the comments and messages you got in your DMs to paint this Adonis-like human being. The requests started coming in after you had an Instagram live where you did some quick sketches while playing some of your favorite songs in the back, and people noticed one of the songs you played was by him.

"You guys also asked if I could sell this painting, but because of the "high demand"," you spoke, adding air quotes, "I'd like to keep it up for auction so the proceeds could go to different fundraisers."

You started mixing different colors in your palette and showed everyone the picture for your reference.

"So, without further ado, today I will be painting Kim Taehyung."

"Hey guys, welcome to my YouTube Channel."

Taehyung watched as you spoke in the video, looking behind you to see a bunch of art materials. The title of the video was left ambiguously, only being named most requested video, leaving him no clue on what it was you were going to create this time.

He's been watching your videos for quite some time now, ever since your channel started rising. Art was one of his major interests and he absolutely adored the way you made your videos with the calming, ASMR-like sound of mixing paint and how you skillfully glided the brush across the canvas. On days when he found himself tired and in need of a quick way to relax, he'd subconsciously find himself binge watching videos on your channel— even repeating several videos since you were only starting. He found it fascinating, but also because he found you interesting.

Because of your channel, he even created an anonymous YouTube account just to leave nice comments on your videos along with a private Instagram account to be able to watch your lives.

Needless to say, he didn't miss that one live where you played the song Winter Bear. It made his whole night, making him sleep with a smile on his face.

"This was a highly requested video, and I honestly can't wait to get started."

He watched as a bunch of comments started appearing onscreen popping up one by one as they gradually got faster, eventually covering you. It took a moment before it sunk in that he was the highly requested person they wanted you to paint. He paused the video, wide-eyed, before shouting in excitement. Jimin had to come in and check what the whole commotion was about.

"Y/n's going to paint me!" Taehyung exclaimed, his mouth turning into his famous boxy smile.

"Ah, the YouTuber you really like?" Jimin smiles before sitting down next to Taehyung who continued playing the video, "I wanna see."

"You guys also asked if I could sell this painting, but because of the "high demand", I'd like to keep it up for auction so the proceeds could go to different fundraisers."

"Wow, she seems really kind," Jimin says, while Taehyung only nods, his eyes glued to the screen.

"So, without further ado, today I will be painting Kim Taehyung."

He felt his heart beat fast when you mentioned his name, and without realizing it his ears have gone all red.

On screen, you began sketching, "You guys have also been sending me a lot of questions lately, which is why I decided to tweet about doing a q&a."

"What questions did you ask?" Jimin asked Taehyung.

"I asked her if being an artist is something she'd like to pursue," Taehyung told him.

"Ooooh, trying to get to know her," Jimin teases, "Our little Taehyungie has a celebrity crush."

Taehyung rolls his eyes but breaks out into a grin anyway, "I just respect her artistry."

"Right, okay," Jimin snickers, obviously not buying it.

Taehyung knew he was telling the truth, though. It was impossible to have feelings for someone who you only knew through a screen. He found you attractive for sure, but he of all people would know that almost no one is completely one-hundred percent themselves on screen. Genuine as you may be, there are still things that are best kept to yourself. He couldn’t lie though, if given the chance to get to know you, he’d never pass up on that offer.

"Someone asked why I don't use that much ready-made paint," You spoke on screen, "It's ‘cause I learn a lot from mixing my own colors, and also I just really enjoy it."

The painting was beginning to come together halfway through the video and Taehyung's question finally made its way to you. "Kimyeontan95 asks, ‘is painting a career you want to pursue? I love your work, by the way’."

"That was basically I love you," Jimin holds back a laugh, earning him a light punch in the arm from Taehyung.

"Thank you so much, kimyeontan95, and no, painting is just a hobby of mine and a way to earn some future savings. I actually really want to be a novelist."

Taehyung smiled after hearing you answer his question. Later on, the video was over and his portrait was complete. He hurriedly redirected himself to the link that was provided for the auction.

Something in him wanted to have that painting no matter what, so he set himself as the highest bidder and eventually had it mailed to his home where he put your work up in his room to cherish.

A day after your video was posted, you woke up to a thousand notifications from your phone. Hundreds of people were mentioning you in tweets and you had numerous missed calls from your best friends and some texts telling you to check your online art shop. You groggily scroll through your feed, a bit confused as to what was happening.

I wanted to buy this painting and I had it in my list, but now it's unavailable!

Y'ALL WHAT RICH KID SET THE HIGHEST BID TO A MILLION DOLLARS IM CRYING

@yourtwittername are you planning to sell a new collection?

a million dollar bid wtf swownwowksodiowl

Someone just bought all of @yourtwitterusername's paintings. I'm crying in broke eye—

but like what if taehyung set that bid? @yourtwitterusername

What?

I just woke up and my mentions are pouring. What is going on? You tweeted.

Thousands of replies began coming in leaving you feeling overwhelmed and confused on where to start. Everyone was telling you to check your site, and so you did. You felt your heart almost stop beating when you saw that every single artwork you had up for sale were sold out. Nothing was left behind. You checked your emails, and the confirmations were there.

How could this have happened overnight?

ALL MY WORKS ARE SOLD OUT?!?!?!?? WHO COULDVE DONET THIS??? You tweeted, hands shaking.

You felt your heart race, a wide grin that could go even wider if possible was plastered on your face. You tried to stop yourself from screaming in excitement but couldn't so you ended up jumping up and down and doing happy dances before calming down to assess the situation. Finally, you sat down in front of your laptop to see where all your works were being shipped to.

Replies started coming in.

CONGRATS YOU FIGURED IT OUT

WILL U RESTOCK

AHSKWJOA CONGRATS BB

I'M SO HAPPY FOR U

BUT Y/N WHO BOUGHT THEM ALL

Checking your emails, you discover that your art works were all bought by one person. Anonymous. There was no name and someone requested to have their personal information redacted.

Anonymous? Surely this wasn't a joke?

The person kept their name anonymous. You tweeted and muted the notifications just to allow yourself to focus on finding out who it was that bought everything.

At the bottom of all the removed personal information, there was one username that you were sure you've heard or seen somewhere.

@ Kimyeontan95.

Underneath the username was a short but sincere message.

"Your videos have always helped me wind down after a long, busy day. I can't express how much you inspire me with your talent and how I wish someday you'd teach me to be half as good as you, as I'm not very gifted in the painting department. I admire how you put your gifts into good things, and I very much idolize you in one way or another. This is just a small way of showing my support for you, but also because all your works are amazing and I'd love to have a small room filled with my favorite art works. I look forward to reading works of yours soon, future novelist.”

Feeling the heat creeping up on your cheeks, you smiled to yourself. The letter was definitely heartfelt and you wanted so badly to thank the person who sent it.

Later that afternoon, you decided to go on live to personally thank the anonymous buyer for buying your works and for sending that wonderful note. You fixed yourself up a little bit and pressed live as thousands of your followers began to tune in.

"Hello, everyone," you greeted, smiling. Replies with greetings started coming in and you couldn't help but chuckle at the eager messages your followers were sending. They truly made you happy.

As expected, several questions began pouring in.

"Right, so, I wanted to do this live because of what happened. As you may have noticed, all my works were suddenly sold out which definitely took me by surprise," you started, "Unfortunately the buyer left everything anonymous. They only left what I assume is a username and a short letter, which I will keep to myself for personal reasons."

@follower1WHAT

@follower2 will you keep selling your works?

@follower3 THATS SUCH A SWEET GESTURE THO OMG/

@follower4 am I the only one who thinks a secret admirer bought it

@follower5 check my YouTube channel I made a theory on who bought her works

@follower6 i rlly think it's taehyung

@follower7 I’'m so proud of you :(((

"If the person who bought all of my paintings is watching this, I really want to thank you from the bottom of my heart. I appreciate the letter as well, you've honestly made me the happiest person on Earth," you smiled.

@follower8 AWWWWW

@follower9 ANON COME OUT

@follower10 i really wanna know what the letter says

@ Kimyeontan95 I'm glad :)

Your heart stopped at one of the replies. You took your phone immediately from its fixed position with wide eyes and began scrolling up fast because of the immediate replies coming in. Wasn't that the username?

@follower11 what's going on?

@follower12 y/n are you okay?

You could no longer find the reply so you set your phone down, fixing it back in place.

"For a second I thought the person who bought it was watching my live," you sighed and smiled nervously, "So anyways— I'd really love to express my gratitude so if they're watching, please contact me. I can't say thank you en—"

Suddenly the replies were frantic. People were sending keyboard smashes here and there. Only a few of them were actual coherent comments. "What is going on?" You asked as you began scrolling through.

@follower13 Y/N CHECK VLIVE

@follower14 TaEHYUNF IS ON LIVE

@follower15 I kNEW IT THOUGH???

@follower16 Y/N CHECK TAEHYUNGS LIVE

@follower5 Y'ALL I WAS RIGHT I SAID CHECK MY YT

Keeping your live on, you grabbed your laptop as fast as you could to check out the links being sent to your live. When it finally loaded, you could've sworn you'd have a heart attack.

"Oh, I think she's watching me," Taehyung grinned through his live, holding his phone in front of the camera. He quickly shows the viewers his phone screen, which showed your live of you watching him through your laptop. Your eyes widened and you looked back at your phone camera that was broadcasting your live, then back at his live.

Taehyung started giggling, "I guess we're just watching each other, huh?" He smiled. Behind him were packed and unpacked parcels of paintings you recognized were yours. If it was even possible, your eyes grew even wider at this, "Oh my god," you breathed out.

"I should probably introduce myself," Taehyung spoke, "Hello everyone, I'm Kim Taehyung. How are you all doing? Today I’m planning on redecorating my room after our practice. What are the packages behind me? Oh, these are paintings I recently bought."

"Are those my paintings?" You asked out loud, though you knew the answer.

"Are those my paintings?" Your voice echoed from Taehyung's broadcast as your live was streaming from his phone. He grinned sheepishly, "Yes, these are your works, I hope you don't mind."

"Not at all," You smiled, "You were the buyer?"

You mentally slapped yourself for asking such obvious questions, but you just couldn't believe everything that was happening now.

"Yes," he chuckles, "I really love your paintings." Suddenly the sound of Jimin’s voice echoed from behind and Taehyung quickly stood up to lock the door, knowing he’d get the teasing of a lifetime if Jimin came and saw him talking to you.

"Thank you so much, I—" Your voice began to crack and your eyes welled with tears that you tried to fight back, "I really appreciate it. And the letter, that was really sweet."

"No, thank you. Wait, don't cry—" Taehyung spoke nervously.

"I'm just so happy," You laughed while wiping the tears off.

The replies from both ends were coming in like crazy. On one hand, majority of everyone watching found the whole scenario cute and started pairing you two out of nowhere, though there were a few haters on the other. It didn't really bother you, you were just so happy someone you idolized noticed your work.

"I'm glad," he was watching you with a fond smile through his phone, then the sound of the Jin’s voice began coming from outside Taehyung’s room, "Sorry for this sudden grand reveal. I really can't stay on live for too long but I'd love to keep talking to you." He spoke.

"Oh no, that's okay," You spoke fast.

"Do you mind if I send you a message? Assuming you already know the username," he asks.

"No not at all, I'd love to keep talking as well," your heart was beating erratically now. You didn't have to see your face to know how red it was becoming.

"Alright, great. Um, before I end this vlive I just wanna say you're a great artist and to all my viewers watching this, please support y/n's artworks and her channel! If I see any negative comments, I'll be taking responsibility and I'll unfortunately have my agency involved in taking those out," he spoke in a commercial tone kind of voice, "And to y/n, I'll be keeping in touch.” The door from behind him suddenly bursts open and Jin, Jimin, and Jungkook rush inside.

“You were talking to her!” Jimin shouts excitedly.

“Finally!” Jungkook claps.

“Is that why you kept the door locked?” Jin teases.

“Bye, everyone!" Taehyung quickly waves goodbye to the camera and smiles before turning the broadcast off.

You sat there stunned, almost forgetting you were also on live. You turned to your phone which was still recording you, "That was unexpected."

Suddenly, a notification in your DMs popped up. "I'll go ahead and process everything that just happened now, bye guys! See you in my next video." You ended the live with a wave and smile.

You quickly went into your direct messages and found the same username, Kimyeontan95. You opened it and found a picture of Taehyung holding one of your paintings with a peace sign on his other hand, the other members behind him posing with your other works, making you laugh.

Your heart fluttered at the message below the picture.

I hope this isn't too sudden, but would you like to go out with me sometime?

a/n: hello! if you finished it, thank you so much for reading! i hope you liked it hehe. i think i’m gonna keep posting the stuff i write bc i have so many ideas for the other members as well. also this is fun hehe. if you wanna read my other work, let’s fall in love for the night, ← here’s a link! thanks again for reading and please look forward to my future writing/edits.

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lostguyz · 2 years

Text

Hello everyone!

My name is William, and i wanted to invite everyone to come along on my journey as I buy, build, and convert a van for living on the road! After my van is complete I want to take yall along for the journey. so you can experience the ups and downs of life on the road! I want to tell yall abit about myself, I am gay 29 years old man, I live the gamer life style. I am a kemetic pagan. And I will be traveling with my ESA dog, Mercy, She is helping me with my Diagnosed PTSD and social Anxiety. Im wanting this post to serve as my introduction, but feel free to leave comment asking any questions that you might have for me. Let's see....about me, I am a heart-felt pagan, I do openly practice. I think that it's an important step for more and more pagans and wiccans alike to practice more openly, which allows others to understand the practice abit better, which in turn creates understanding and acceptance in society. I work very closely with Anubis, aswell as some workings with Thoth. I am also a avid PC gamer, so as you can imagine, that'll make living on the road full time abit of a struggle, with trying to make space and supply power to my computer being the largest issues. Unfortunatly, I am planning to sell my Rig and buy a laptop, since itll save so much space and really reduce my power usage on the road. My favorite games include the elder scrolls series, Overwatch, and mortal online 2. I was put in the foster system at the age of 13, where I stayed in multiple homes until i turned 17, at that point I left to find my place in this world. So I dont really have much family or friends. But im hoping to make some on my adventures. I've wanted to do this for a long time now, and I am planning to travel atleast a year before settling down in a place that i fall in love with. Though perhaps I will fall in love with the life style of being a vanlifer, and just stay on the road. or heck, maybe even fall in love with a guy, you never know right? anyways, guess thats enough about me. But ill keep posting as things develop, primarily video updates will be on my youtube channel. If you wish to contribute in anyway so that i can get better equipment and make life easier, feel free to inbox me or use my linktree for my cashapp. Or just leave your words of encouragement :) thanks so much for your time, and I hope all of you follow me and stay around for the ride :)

#vanlife #gaymer #texasgay

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ashintheairlikesnow · 4 years

Text

Found Out

CW: Not much! Just some brief references to death and to pet whump

“Remind me why I’m watching fucking youtube videos of fucking gymnasts today?” Will asks, laid out on the couch with his legs over Mari’s lap as she fiddled with her phone. Brooke and Laken have half the carpet in the student lounge for their dorm covered in papers, markers, and pens, working on some kind of poster for a party Brooke is throwing.

“Because,” Becka - she’s in a bunch of Will’s classes and is doing printmaking for her major, which makes her officially cooler than Will himself - says, sitting legs-crossed on the floor looking up at the lounge TV, then down at the laptop open in front of her. “Akio Nakamura literally grew up like two hours from here, he trains right near here!”

“I have no idea who that is,” Mari says without looking up, huffing a hint of soundless laughter. Will sits himself up a little on his elbows and turns to look as Becka finally gets the cast to work. Youtube pops up on the TV screen, the video frozen right at the start, with AKIO NAKAMURA, 20XX Musical Floor Routine just underneath.

Paused and ready to begin is a screenshot from the video, of a short, heavily muscled teenage boy grinning over his shoulder at someone off screen.

“He’s the favorite for the U.S. team for the Olympics this year! I always follow gymnastics and figure skating, basically that’s all I care about, but Akio is the best. He is definitely getting the gold this year.”

“Oh, definitely,” Brooke says, with an exaggerated nod. “Definitely the gold, uh-huh.”

“Yes,” Mari cuts in. “I care very deeply about this and also agree that he will get the gold. Um. Whoever he is.”

“Fuck off, guys.” Becka flips them off over her shoulder without looking back and clicks, a narrator - presumably Nakamura himself - explaining the floor routine he’s about to do, that when he’s not competing he’s always liked to build himself a music-based routine, and this recording has been around for a long time and he’s just getting around to loading it up.

“For a long time I never touched these old recordings - you know, it just, you’ll see why later - but I think it’s probably time. And I really liked what we did.”

“We?” Mari asks.

“Sssshhhhh.”

The same teenager from the screenshot steps out onto a large mat in a gymnast’s leotard, taking position. His team is lounging in the background, talking to each other, to the coach, practicing their own moves. They’re a mix of blondes, brunettes, redheads, and people with black hair, a bunch of kids of varying ages, heights, weights, and looks.

Will squints at a redhead in the corner of the screen, watching Nakamura take position from just in the corner, bouncing on his toes, rolling his shoulders, in a constant nonstop motion. Something about the redhead looks vaguely familiar, but the video is a little blurry from casting larger onto the TV and hasn’t settled into crispness yet.

“Wait, I thought dudes didn’t get to use music,” Ben says from the table over in the corner, where he’s been steadfastly ignoring everyone else while reading a book and claiming it counts as hanging out if I’m physically here, okay, trust me, I’m an introvert. He looks up, now, with some vague hint of interest.

Becka sighs and hits pause again. “They don’t,” She explains, patiently. “Male gymnast floor routines are all about strength, and rhythm isn’t really important. But Akio likes to use music and he does these videos where he does the same kind of floor routines the girls do? I think just for fun. But he has a whole youtube channel and there’s a bunch on here, and he’s been putting up old ones from way, way back. I guess some friend of his who died is in them, so he just got around to looking at them again.”

“Lovely. And you’re inflicting this on us because…”

“Mari, seriously, it’s so cool to watch. Just fucking deal with it, or keep scrolling.”

Mari grins, nudging Becka with her foot. “Kidding, Becks. I’m watching, I promise. Hey, where’s Chris?”

Laken shrugs without looking up from their current work very carefully gluing an intricate paper cutout down to the posterboard. “Dunno. Had something to do with his brother, I think.”

“I swear, I’m a twin and I don’t like my brother as much as he likes his,” Brooke says, rolling her eyes, and Laken snorts, eyes slightly crossed as they very carefully pull a small line of glue in a perfect spiral with the paper.

“Guys, for the love of fuck, just shut up and let me watch this.” Becka waves her hand backwards, and Laken and Brooke share a look and an eyeroll, but the room goes quiet. Becka hits play again, and the music kicks on, something bright and upbeat nobody in the room recognizes immediately.

Akio rolls his neck, gets a grin on his face, and takes off across the mat, tensing at the last half-second before he seems to jump and fold forwards at once, backflipping once, twice, before he spins in the air and lands with his feet in perfect position, arms up - then he winks at the camera and rocks his hips, and Mari, Will, and Brooke all let out a sound somewhere between a gasp and laughter.

“Good God, that boy just had fun with his pelvis,” Mari says, mock-scandalized.

“Watch, just, just watch-” Becka waves her hand again and the group watches Nakamura dance across the mat, matching the rhythm of the song exactly, dropping into a split and then back up again like gravity is something he can simply turn off whenever he wants. He folds himself over backwards and walks on his hands before he’s back up on his feet, with a quick spin and another hip-rock, backing his way into the marked-off spot in the corner. There’s another running set of flips and jumps and Will is watching, and it’s crazy as hell, sure, but his eyes keep getting drawn to that boy in the corner.

Wearing the same leotard, the boy is dancing along with Nakamura, matching all his in-between-moves perfectly, a bright, shining smile on his face, clapping every time Nakamura nails a flip or a jump, edging his slow way up to just at the other corner on that side.

“Hey,” Ben says, but his voice is too quiet, and the drums are louder suddenly, like someone just turned the speakers up. Will hears him, though, and looks over to see Ben making the exact face as what Will is feeling.

Except…

Ben swallows so hard Will can see his Adam’s apple move.

“All right, so in this one, one of the kids I used to train with, Tristan Higgs, and I had kind of planned out a bit at the end - okay, watch Tristan right… about… now.”

Nakamura lands a jump, moves into a dance, and the redhead runs up onto the mat, takes his own position with his arms up, and shoots Nakamura a brilliant smile before he takes off himself. He’s short, and heavily muscled, but that smile is unmistakable.

While the redhead runs, Nakamura dances to the side, watching him with a grin.

“What the fuck?” Ben says from the corner, slamming his book shut and standing up, walking closer to watch the screen. “Do you guys-... do you see that?”

“They can’t do this in competition,” Becka says, misunderstanding the sudden silence to be awe, confusion at the routine itself. “It’s too dangerous. But nothing happens, they just have fun.”

The redhead does three backflips and then spins, hits his landing perfectly - the team throws up a deafening cheer - and he launches into the dance right as Nakamura is back in position for his next run.

They move around each other fluidly, for a while dancing nearly together. The group watches them move back to back, the redhead’s hair flashing coppery in the gym’s lights as he briefly drops it back onto Nakamura’s shoulder before spinning away, the team cheering them on and singing along with the song.

Ben’s eyes meet Laken’s. “Do you-... do you see-”

Laken looks away, shifting around, staring back down at the poster they’re working on alone now. “Yeah,” They say, voice slightly husky. “I see it.”

“But-”

“Let it go, Ben.”

“Laken, that’s Chris.”

“Holy shitballs,” Will says, “You’re right. It is Chris. Becka, fucking-... fucking pause next time they get his face on screen.”

“No worries, they’re almost done.” Becka blinks, puzzled, and the group watches Nakamura and the other boy do simultaneous flips across opposite sides of the mat, finish with a spin, and salute each other, before collapsing into laughter. “Does Chris do gymnastics?”

“No,” Laken says, before Ben can answer. He glances over at them and they shake their head, minutely, barely a motion.

The redhead starts to jump up and down, his hands flapping in the air, spinning in circles, as Nakamura laughs and runs over to him, saying something. The two high-five and hug before the redhead starts bouncing up and down again, clearly proud of himself, proud of Nakamura, just fucking thrilled.

“Laken-”

“I said let it go,” Laken snaps, and Ben’s mouth snaps shut.

Mari says, hesitantly, “Chris never said he did gymnastics.”

“Chris’s name isn’t Tristan fucking Higgs, either,” Will points out.

On the video, Nakamura’s voice is back. “We used to do that all the time. I’ve got about three more I’ll probably post. For the longest time I couldn’t even look at them, but… I don’t know. He was so fun. Rest in peace, man. We still miss you.”

“That can’t be him,” Will says, pulling his legs off of Mari’s lap and leaning over. Becka pauses with the screen stuck on the jumping, happy teenager, his hands blurred mid-motion. “That can’t be. Chris isn’t named Tristan.”

“He’s also not fucking dead,” Mari says, breathless. “But-”

“But it looks just like him, he even does the, the thing with his…” Will hesitantly flaps his hands by example. “When he’s happy. Just like that.”

“His hair’s red at the roots, too,” Brooke says, a little thoughtfully, nervously. “Um. Chris is adopted, right? Maybe…”

“Nobody changes a fucking teenager’s first name,” Will says, shaking his head. “I’ve met his brother, he wouldn’t do that. He’s like a giant teddy bear person. If Chris wanted the fucking Ritz that guy’d try and buy it for im. But, like, what do we know about Chris?”

“Not much,” Ben says, staring at the screen, stomach flipping. Ben knows more than anyone but Laken, thanks to Dylan being a fucking piece of shit about the pet thing. And he knows, he thinks, what he’s looking at now. “But-”

“I’m done with this,” Laken says abruptly, pushing themself to their feet. “You guys keep playing fucking detectives all you want, but that’s not Chris. I’m out.”

The group stares after them as they leave, and there’s a long, long moment of silence that draws awkwardly out, everyone trying to see if someone else will be the first person to speak next.

“Um, I’m-... I’m gonna go talk to them,” Ben says, grabbing his book on the way out, catching Laken just outside the elevators. “Hey, wait-”

“No,” Laken says, hands in their pockets, jammed in there like they’re trying not to choke someone. “Go back in there, Ben.”

“That is Chris,” Ben says, soft and insistent. “That’s him before they-... before he was-”

Laken doesn’t answer him. Their jaw sets, and the black eyeliner seems to make them look flintier, hardened. “We don’t know that.”

“Yeah, Laken, we absolutely do. You telling me that smile isn’t one hundred percent your boyfriend’s smile? You going to tell me there’s some other identical fucking redhead who stims like that when he’s happy who was at a gym literally across town, whose friends from then think he’s fucking dead, and it’s not your fucking boyfriend, who was oh just coincidentally a pet for some rich asshole-”

“Don’t say it,” Laken snaps. “Don’t you fucking dare say it.”

“We should show him the video, Laken.”

“No.”

“What if it-... what if it helps-”

“What if it doesn’t?” The elevator dings and the doors open. Laken pushes away from Ben and steps inside, turning to stare at him, their expression baleful and oddly vulnerable, both at once. “What if it just makes shit worse for him? He’s-... he already has these nightmares… Don’t you think Chris has had a hard enough fucking time without us throwing that shit in his face, Ben? His past doesn’t belong to us.”

“Show his brother, then,” Ben says, and Laken looks away from him as the doors start to roll closed. “Show his brother, okay? Please? Promise you will, it might help Chris to see-”

Laken doesn’t look back up. The doors cut them off from view and Ben watches the floor count tick down as it moves, before he turns and goes back to his room, flopping bonelessly on the bed.

“God damn it.”

That was definitely Christopher fucking Stanton in that video.

Wasn’t it?

Ben pulls his phone up, lying on his back, and types into the search bar, Tristan Higgs gymnast. Some old scores and meets come up, but no pictures. Nothing he can use. Then he deletes that search and types instead, Tristan Higgs death.

What pops up first is an old news article from fucking years ago about some kind of double-homicide after a break-in. Ben reads it, staring at the words, but something like dread slowly closes its claws over his heart.

The sole survivor of the attack was the couple’s fifteen-year-old son, Tristan, who has been placed in the care of relatives while law enforcement follows a series of tips…

Ben finds a Facebook page for the gym that was in the Nakamura video. Now that he’s started, he can’t stop. They have an Instagram, and he scrolls and scrolls and scrolls and scrolls. He must sit there for a goddamn hour looking at fucking gymnastics bullshit he doesn’t care about. But then he finds it-

Throwback Thursday: the whole crew has pizza at Vanni’s Pizzeria after a great meet back in 20XX!

There he is, right there towards the front with Nakamura’s arm around his shoulders, shorter and significantly more muscular, with a bit of red hair flopping over one eye.

Christopher fucking Stanton, smiling at something just to the left of the camera, just like Chris always does.

He screenshots the photo and sends it to Laken. They send back, pretty sure I told you to go fuck yourself Benji.

Ben waits. Thirty-five seconds after that, Laken sends another text.

Okay. I’ll show Jake.

Ben tells himself to close the apps. That he has reading to do, and other things to care about. Then he spends the next five hours learning everything he can about Tristan Higgs, anyway.

---

Tagging: @burtlederp , @finder-of-rings , @endless-whump , @whumpfigure , @slaintetowhump , @astrobly @newandfiguringitout , @doveotions , @pretty-face-breaker , @boxboysandotherwhump , @oops-its-whump @moose-teeth , @cubeswhump , @cupcakes-and-pain @whump-tr0pes @whumpiary @orchidscript

#chris the strawberry blond romantic #tristan higgs #laken mamani: frankly I want to date them #ben is a good bean #memory loss #not much to tag for here #past pet whump reference #the secret series #is referenced here #new identity #bbu #box boy #box boy universe

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