#but i solved some plot holes driving home and i need to write it down

[mitochondriaandbunnies]

I am so sleepy but I need to write down timeline notes...

[ellasadventuresinfandoms]

Okay, back in May @isolatedphenomenon asked me if I had an les mis fic recs and I went "oh boy do I !" and then promptly fucked off and disappeared from tumblr for like 6 months...

Anyway on the off chance people are interested, here is my vastly too long list of  my favourite les mis fanfic (that I'm almost 100% sure I'll have accidentally missed some of my favourites off of...)

The vast majority of these are main pairing Enjolras/Grantaire, so I've put those first, divided into multi-chaptered and then one-shots. Below that will be other pairings!

Multi-chaptered

• Witch Boy Series : magic AU, starting with Grantaire solving Enjolras' curse - this is just Incredible world building which gets better as it goes on - my favourite is the Babet interlude

• World Ain't Ready : you know how fandoms tend to have a fic that is just associated with it ? in my experience, for les mis this is it - and well deserved ! High school, fake dating AU with some of the most engaging writing

• BE : Enjolras is dragged back into theatre production, helping Eponine put on a production of Hamlet - really love the characterisation in this, and this is really one of those modern AUs that actually feels like real life - really good writing

• After the End : the definitive apocalypse AU in my eyes - les amis are an underground resistance to the dystopian government - really wonderful characterisation of Grantaire and the amis

• You never have to wonder; you never have to ask. : I tend to find fic by scrolling through bookmarks of a pairing, which means I often see repeats; this is a fic that if I see I just re-read cause I know I'll enjoy it - the amis sparked a failed rebellion, and now 18 months later Grantaire ends up staying at Enjolras' after returning to Paris for Marius and Cosette's wedding

• Your Heart on Your Skin : Soulmate AU with flower tattoos marking important emotions and events - wonderful concept and world building 

• Impatient to Be Free : Daughters of Bilitis AU - if that doesn't make you excited I don't know what else to say to convince you (aside from saying the author is a simply wonderful writer)

• You Dance Dreams : Okay. Not to be over dramatic, but this fic did genuinely qualitatively change my life, in that it was the first thing that got me looking up contemporary ballet and now that's like one of my favourite things and big hobby So. Also its really great writing; music/creative arts school les amis with Grantaire choreohraphing the ballet for Combeferre's opera, with a heavy emphasis on Grantaire realising he really never actually got over Enjolras

• philia : this one is an absolute classic to me, but not given nearly enough recognition - one of the more realistic college AUs ever written, and the writing of Grantaire is so good because it hits the perfect balance of sympathy and annoyance about his behaviour (that's a genuine compliment) 

• Coffee Hooligans : fucking tragedy this never got properly finished, Enjolras leads the amis as social justice vigilantes and tries to hide the criminal bits of his life from R

• Fighting the Hurricane : Pacific Rim AU that's less an AU and more just placing the les mis characters in the Pacific Rim universe. Really good and riveting read, also super interesting depiction of Grantaire

• Weaving Olden Dances : Fairy AU - Grantaire "claims" Enjolras to prevent his execution - really good writing, love Grantaires characterisation 

• Paris Burning : canon era (sort of) where cities have a physical being - Grantaire is Paris and becomes entangled in Enjolras' revolution - oh the world building is truly *chefs kiss*

• Euphoria is You For Me : Enjolras and Grantaire keep meet cuting in a wonderfully written Brooklyn - feels like a love letter to Brooklyn at times, and I really like the characterisation of Grantaire 

• so please just fall in love with me this christmas : Enjolras works for the environmental company Grantaire volunteers at, and keeps getting secret gifts at Christmas - I sound a little like a broken record but the Grantaire characterisation is very good

• You Are the Moon : Wild West esque Space AU - Grantaire has to call on the amis to help rescue Valjean and Cosette, despite Grantaire leaving the amis 6 months before. On re-reading the Enjolras characterisation feels a little rushed, but overall fantastic story telling and the Grantaire arc is a Delight 

• Pandemos : Enjolras is aphrodite, and seeks peace from all his suitors in R/Hephestus' cave

• Pining for You : Hallmark christmas romance - Grantaire returns home to work on his father's tree farm, and Enjolras is the lawyer helping prevent the farm being sold - cute as shit imo

• Once We're Kings : Fantasy AU - a country hosts a ball to marry Prince Enjolras and the rival country sends Grantaire as a fuck you - one of the best ways of doing Enjolras as a prince in a fantasy and just really nicely written

• Never Bitter and All Delicious : Fairy Godmother AU - yes really, yes its genuinely a very good read

• On One Condition : Fantasy AU - Enjolras is a bored knight who finally goes to check out the local dragon, which turns out to be Grantaire - I really like how they capture Enjolras' stubborn nature and it's such a well written soft growth of love between them

• That's How Easy Love Can Be : Les Amis work at a primary school; and its secret santa time! very fun portrayal of Enjolras

• The Lark and Her Lieutenants : re write of canon where Cosette is the leader of the revolution - just *chefs kiss*

• If You Tickle Us, Do We Not Laugh : Grantaire is Enjolras' secret android - really good at writing a relationship that's incredibly loving but just keeps being antagonistic and coming off wrong 

One Shots

• True Colours : AU where you leave colours on the people important to you - Enjolras and Grantaire falling for each other is so soft and gently written its lovely, this is genuinely one of my favourites

• Keep It Kind, Keep It Good, Keep It Right : this one is so good to me, because it builds off my pet hatred of everyone assuming Enjolras doesn't care about (or at least actively show he cares about) his friends

• blooming : very soft post-dystopian utopia that has just a really wonderful sense of hope and light to me

• and the wall leaned away (or: The Pros and Cons of Tilling) : perfectly realised characterizations of the amis, Grantaire needs a date to her final year art exhibition - deals with anxiety over protest in a way that actually hits for me

• not just one of the crowd : R helps run a leftist bakery and bike repair shop - very cute characterisation, and I think more les mis fanfic should link to anarchist essays

• Lovesickness : Enjolras is an idiot and thinks he's sick rather than having a crush - the writing of Joly and Combeferre in this is some of my favourite depictions of these two

• If there's a rocket, tie me to it : absolutely heartbreaking sci-fi AU about the amis as doomed mecha pilots

• Where I Fall is Where I Land : Enjolras is a Roman commander as Rome's power is leaving England, and then meets the pict Grantaire (+ fun soulmark stuff !)

• You Started Foreign to Me : Enjolras moves to america and R is the overnight grocery clerk who helps her learn Spanish - cute fluffy lesbians with a wonderfully written driven Enjolras

• Love Is Touching Souls : very cute soulmate AU - and one I really love for really truly considering the implications of soul marks and creating historical lore around it

• Ten Years : R is a musician, and it non-linearly charts his relationship to Enj from high school to 10 years later

• put up with me then I'll make you see : Grantaire lives above Enjolras, and its christmas - I find it to have a very fun interpretation of pining Enjolras

• A Cat Called Trash Can : this was one of the first les mis fics I ever read (yes I know it says it was published in 2020, but I think it has to be a re-upload or something?) and it does still have a special place in my heart - Grantaire rescues a cat, but Enjolras is the only one with an apartment free to look after it 

• Still I'm Begging to Be Free : inception AU where les amis have to rescue a sleeping R from his own brain

•I'm in it for You : cw: illness, cancer - R has cancer and is being a martyr about telling his friends so Enjolras drives him back from chemo

• walls come tumbling down : sky high au - a very good high school AU with the perfect level of campy superhero powers

• This brave new world's not like yesterday : Enjolras needs a job, so ends up working in a bowling alley with Grantaire and bonding

Enjolras/Grantaire/Combeferre

• In Defiance of All Geometry : les amis are a student co-op house, Enjolras and Combeferre are pining friends and Grantaire is the newbie

• Still the Same : this is very good writing and very compelling - if you can get over the (imo) plot hole of Enjolras working for the FBI. R was an art thief Enj put away and is briefly helping the FBI out, and Combeferre is Enjolras' husband

• To Kingdom Come : cw: war and PTSD from that, Enjolras and Combeferre are part of a group of refugees that have crossed into a more fantasy land, and Grantaire is a lone traveller from that land that attempts to help - that was a shit summary of this very emotional, wonderfully written fic about war and love in all forms

• Gonna need (a spark to ignite) : I always love a twist on a classic trope, and this is a very fun take on the soulmate AU - Enjolras loses feeling in his soul mark as a child, falls in love with Grantaire and then his soulmate, Combeferre, turns up

Eponine/Cosette

• Pretty Girls Don't Know the Things That I Know : simply stunning writing - perfect example of soft writing about a harsh world

• she knows her way around : Eponine and Cosette bond, ostensibly so Eponine can find out about her for Marius, and their interactions are so playful and realistic, its wonderful

• always find me floating on oceans : Cosette stows away on Eponine's pirate ship - I do always have a soft spot for eposette fics (not just cause I ship it) because they truly characterise Cosette in a really considered and interesting way

• There's No Making Love : I'm putting this under eposette even though there is some significant enjolras/grantaire content, because the Cosette characterisation is so fun and cute

• round and round again : this fic really beautifully translates Cosette's bad childhood and then isolated teenage years, and the impact that would have on her as an adult into a modern AU

• Underwater Thunderheards : this is based off the book The Scorpio Races, and is just a really nice short fic  about longing

• How To Change The World Without Taking Power : Marius has a crush on Cosette and she's tried being polite and subtle in turning him down, so just ends up fake dating Eponine instead

• blood red fruit and poison's kiss : Snow White AU - Cosette as Snow White

• The Winters Cannot Fade Her : Snow White Au 2.0 - Eponine as Snow White - this was written as a pair to the one above which is just so cute to me

• marriage à la mode : Cosette and Eponine run a bridal shop together and it's very cute !

• Temporary Hold : I personally find this a really fun and very unique take on Cosette - with exams coming up she decides she needs to get laid on the reg and so hits up Eponine to act as if they're already long term girlfriends

Combeferre/Courfeyrac

• better than you had it : fake dating but kick it up an emotional notch - Courf and Ferre pretend to still be together after breaking up for a family event

• take flight, come near : nice and cute low fantasy, where Combeferre runs a dragon sanctuary and Courf finds an injured dragon

Rare Pairs

• The Future's Owned by You and Me : cute Enjolras/Feuilly with actual radical politics and real life organising difficulties and wins

• First Dates and Other Dangers : Combeferre and Grantaire agree to go on a blind date and it's awkward until it isn't - just cute !

• after midnight : Combeferre has insomnia and meets Grantaire in various all night fast food chains

• as you are : Bahorel and Jehan getting ready together

• Almost Romantic : Jehan works at a museum, and takes Combeferre on a little tour

• Understudy : Jehan/Combeferre, with Combeferre's insecurities regarding being seen as second best to Enjolras

• Here There Be Dragons : Courf/Enj/Ferre - Courf and Enj are superheroes and Ferre is the doctor that patches them up

• To Let it Occur (Laisser Faire la Nature) : Feuilly has a stupidly long stopover in Paris and meets Enjolras

• rule of three : Courf/Enj/Ferre as spies and loving boyfriends

• Good Rhetoric : snapshots of cute cuddly courf/enj/ferre

• subluxate, dislocate, replace : found family and chronic illness with Joly/Bossuet/Musichetta

• Strike stone, strike home (like lightning) : so this fic took one minor piece of lore about Tolkien's dwarves and made a beautiful j/b/m fic from it

• Almost Inevitable : Bahorel/Feuilly friends-with-benefits

• god only knows (what I'd be without you) : Bahorel/Feuilly with a closeted Feuilly and a beautiful Feuilly and Eponine friendship

[televisionrulesthenation]

S1E2 - “My Blonde-Haired Brunette”

Original air date: October 10, 1961

Episode recap

Laura tries to wake Rob up at 9 o’clock in the morning on his day off. She’s been up since 7 and wants to have breakfast together. He insists on sleeping until 11.

Rob comes to the kitchen at 11 (dressed ridiculously) and Laura is upset. Rob teases, calling her his old lady and plucking a grey hair from her head and she gets more upset. Incredibly, she cooks him breakfast anyway.

The next day Laura confides in her friend, Millie, telling her she’s worried about Rob not caring about their relationship anymore. Millie tells her to bleach her hair to spice things up.

At the office Rob talks to Sally and Buddy about not understanding why Laura is upset. Sally tells him he needs to tell Laura he loves her and pay attention to her. He calls home and tells Laura he loves her and he’s taking her out to dinner tonight.

Meanwhile she has bleached her hair blond and looks ridiculous. She asks him on the phone if he’d like her bleached blond and he says no. She freaks out and begs Millie to help her change it back to brown.

Rob comes home to find Laura and Mille only halfway done changing her hair back to brunette. Laura breaks down and Rob comforts her and they make up.

Everything is about me

We recently took the 5 Love Languages self-assessment and her top 2 were my bottom 2. And my top 2 were her bottom 2.

Words of affirmation are a mismatch for us. Like Rob, I could do better there. And it wouldn’t that big of a stretch for me because I would actually mean the words of affirmation, I just don’t think to say them.

The biggest difference though is gift giving. It’s by far the most important thing for her, and by far the least important thing for me.

When we talked about it, I struggled not to sound like a terrible person. She was being empathetic, saying she has to understand that receiving gifts isn’t important to me. But I was like, I like getting gifts just fine, I don’t like the process of getting other people gifts. The taking note of subtle hints, the planning, the shopping, etc. So my preference not to give gifts drives my lack of joy in receiving gifts, not the other way around.

Then she asked me if I like receiving gifts, how come my Father’s Day present remains in its original packaging on the floor in our closet? So who knows, either way, it’s a mismatch.

This one seems hard to solve because solving it means one of us doing something they don’t like. Not sure how to meet in the middle.

Episode observations

Life before cell phones

Cell phones wouldn’t have fundamentally altered the plot here. Obviously, Rob and Laura’s phone conversation would have probably been texts rather than on those retro phones with cords. But the plot holds.

Clothes and fashion

Rob’s clothes when he comes down for breakfast look ridiculous. Black and white don’t do it justice, but it’s almost like a modern day homeless person. A sweater with holes and stains over a polo shirt I think with odd pants, maybe corduroys. (His hair is perfectly styled though.)

But I guess this was life before active wear. What else are you going to wear around the house on your day off? Well, in the final scene, he’s in the living room, reading the paper, wearing a cardigan over pressed collared shirt tucked into fitted slacks. So that’s the answer if you care about your appearance. Again no active wear.

I’ve long thought the advent of comfortable clothes has to have at least some small part in the obesity epidemic. I am typing this in a T-shirt and pajama pants. If I wore what Rob was wearing in the final scene around the house at all times, I am sure I’d be a few pounds lighter.

Pop culture references

Laura is going for the Marilyn Monroe or Brigette Bardo look when bleaching her hair, but is said to look more like Harpo Marx. I had never heard of Brigette Bardo before, then I Googled her and feel like maybe I have or at least should have. I have definitely heard of Harpo Marx, then I Googled him and realized I had never seen a picture of him before.

Vocabulary lesson

“Is this a rip?” asks the pharmacist irritatedly to Millie on the phone when presented with “a hair emergency.” In context I get that rip meant joke. And you can see that in the third definition in Wikipedia. 10 years ago I worked with a guy 20 years older than me and he was constantly saying he “didn’t give a rip” about something or another. I feel like this is might be a related usage.

Checking in with my mom

Laura and Millie were spending time together “addressing envelopes.” My mom says it could have been for some PTA or charity project. But more than likely it was writing out the return for bills or something mundane. Not only was there no online bill pay back then, bills didn’t even come pre-addressed. So it was a chore just preparing your mail.

She said she never saw her mom take a break during the day. She was always cooking, cleaning, sewing or doing laundry. They didn’t even have a washer or dryer.

I know this is cliche, but I don’t understand how we feel so busy nowadays.

Best joke/funniest moment

Laura, laying it on thick, prodding and guilting Rob to wake up, says, “would you rather just lie there?”

You think the guilt trip is finally working. But then Rob responds, “yeah I would.”

Other assorted thoughts on life in the 1960s

They sleep in separate twin beds. I understand this was just some public decency sign of the times in regards to what you could show on television. Still weird though.

Rob does jumping jacks when he wakes up. I also understand exercise and fitness didn’t really take off until the ‘80s, not sure what the jumping jacks were all about.

Laura’s hair, half blond and half brunette when Rob happens upon her mid-fix, is punk rock. It was played for laughs. But honestly it would be less weird to see someone walk around with that hair in 2021 than it would from them to have the actual 1961 Laura Petrie cut.

You could call the pharmacy and have them deliver. Last episode featured a home doctor visit. It is my understand this was during the milkman delivery era of life too. Is everything old new again? Maybe Amazon and Uber Eats is just a return the ideas from the mid-twentieth century.

Final thoughts

This episode wasn’t that funny. And Rob was kind of a dick. And Laura was kind of whiny. We’ll see where this goes.

[sterling-silvers]

Star Wars: The High Republic #1 Review

In terms of the comic, the first issue is the definition of a C story – it is a 7 out of 10 because it is average. The simplicity and lack of depth is both the saving grace and condemning damnation of it.

The story follows a new, human Padawan called Keeve Trennis, who is revealed to be on the planet Shuraden, partaking in her final Jedi trial; result of which will be the deciding factor of whether she become a full fledge Jedi Knight. Chaperoning and assessing the trial is her Jedi Master, Sskeer – a Trandoshan – who is sporting one arm (more on that later on).

During said “final” trial, a swarm of giant alien insects – called Ridadi – pop out of nowhere and start stampeding toward a community of fairy like aliens, called Ximpi. Keeve makes an “audacious” choice to abandon her trial in order to save the village. One thing to note, is that she made a utilitarian decision during the course of her rescue, as did not attempt to save one Ximpi who was swallowed whole – she allowed the death of one to save the lives of many.

After relaying the situation those at Starlight Beacon’s, in particular Master Estala Maru, she is told to read the minds of the insects; in doing so, she gathers that these creatures normally using a magnetic homing beacon to guide their migration course – Starlight Beacon has thrown it off course and if Keeve were to fail to stop them here, they would eventually fly to the Beacon, itself.

Using a new lightsaber powered, Force attuned ship – a Vector – Keeve is able to steer the bugs back on course and off of the planet. 

As she reconvenes and recounts with her master, he takes her the Starlight Beacon. Thinking she is about to be expelled from the Order for failing the trial, a new Jedi Master, Avar Kriss – who, via Grandmasters Veter and Yoda, most recently was christened as the new Marshall of Starlight Beacon, officially promotes Keeve to the rank of Knight. As her valediction ceremony takes place on the Beacon, itself, we see Keeve shedding an emotional tear of joy. 

This is interesting as, I thought it was the padawan’s master that would knight them but, this seems not to be the case. Even more curiously, the Jedi do not exclaim “May the Force be with you” but, “For Light and Life”. At the conclusion of the comic, we see Sskeer alone in his chambers screaming “No!” at the top of his lungs.

As forementioned, this debut issue is the epitome of a C story and as so earns it’s 7 out of 10. This is my first introduction into Cavan Scott’s writing and, so far, it is subpar at best and candidly amateurish at it’s worse. The narrative was very telegraphed at times and makes mistakes that are unbecoming of a writer given this caliber of material to work with. Writers like Greg Wiseman, Kyle Higgins, and or David F. Walker would not be making these kinds of errors – Marvel might need to call them to take over.

In the same vein, Ario Anindito’s art is decent but, could be better. It’s not as crisp as I think it should be and looks like it needed another render. Artists like Dan Mora, Stefano Caselli, and especially Doc Shaner would have delivered an efficient job as opposed to the sufficient one Anindito is giving.

It’s vexing as honestly, there is something there in terms of Keeve Trennis in terms of both her character and design.

I am more than fine with a protagonist that doubts themselves because that is a manner in which we are able to learn with them, and there is definitely an avenue to explore with a newly dubbed Jedi Knight still working on finding her niche in the Order. Reviewers, like Thor Skywalker, are not so keen on her having these kind of thoughts and emotions but, it makes sense to me. One of the eventual downfalls of the Jedi was that they were trying to negate their emotions as opposed to controlling them. Keeve showing self-doubt illustrates her struggle to regulate her emotions but also that allows herself to feel the doubt work through it.  Nonetheless, it seems as if we, the reader, have missed an arc and or development with this character – I think it would have been more apt to show her in the Order working her way to the trials as opposed to the last hour of her last trial AND her becoming a Jedi Knight; this is reinforced by the alleged rapport and pedestal she puts Sskeer on – it’s more tell than show and a comic book is meant to show.

In accordance with this self-doubt, she also has the quirk of cursing. This is interesting, albeit jarring because of the era she is in – the High Republic has been presented as the apex of the Order and as so, I thought that meant this would be the time where the Jedi would be the most dogmatic and adherent to their traditions and mentality.

Her design yields the same jarring aspects, once you go beyond the superficial facet. At first glance, it’s very attention-grabbing; young Black woman with half her head shaved on one side, utilizing two lightsabers – holstered on her chest – that she can combine into a dual-sided lightsaber. However, once again, this seems to be out of place given the time period and temperament of the era. Does it make sense for a Jedi in this era to be so bombastic in their look, particularly when it comes to her hair? Seems like a better fit for a time of REVIVING the Jedi Order as opposed to them being at their APEX.

In the Light of the Jedi novel, it is said that Keeve sees the Force as a tapestry – a massive piece of art that spreads across the universe. This is a really nice take on the Force and I hope it gets expanded on with her character in this series – it certainly could attest to aspects of her design, such as her hair. I haven’t really seen Star Wars characters interested in art aside from Sabine Wren, Grand Admiral Thrawn, and Alva Brenne; now we have a character who the Force IS art for her. Granted, this aspect of hers has not been seen and or mentioned in the comic and it SHOULD be as this is the formal DEBUT of this character for many people.

The issue gets some major points off, as well because:

1.  Keeve’s uses her lightsaber to not only slow down descent but to stop the fall completely.

This is cardinal sin that follies in the mechanics and use of how lightsabers work. This happens nine pages in and broke my immersion within the issue - immediate red flag.

At best, an argument could be made that because this is set 200 years before the Skywalker Saga these sabers are weaker than their future counter parts and therefore not as potent in terms of lethality but, this is me – the fan – writing for the writer. Star Wars (or its content creators) simply do not get that luxury anymore. Plot holes are to be called out by the consumer and filled in/addressed by the writer; plain and simple.

2.  There is a general lack of references and or footnotes to other material – particularly to the current books and comics – that would have given context to some of the events and tools used in the comic. Prime examples of missed opportunities to seed this world cohesively take form in Sskeer’s missing arm, the Ximpi themselves, and the Vectors.

The High Republic, as a whole, was marketed ongoing multimedia project and as so, interconnectivity should be the prime focal point of this serious. Continuity is key ESPECIALLY when they’ve thrown out the old canon and are new canon. The tools are there – USE THEM!!! The book – really Charles Soule in general –  is doing the heavy lifting of world building and establishing many of the characters – the least Scott can do is alley oop these layups.

3.  As mentioned earlier, Keeve uses a Vector to as the driving force to solve the problem but, there was no footnote and or reference to the fact that this was a special kind of ship. Moreover, the use of the Vector has already broken the canon that has JUST been established for it – Vectors are powered by the Jedi’s Lightsaber, the hub changes color to that of the lightsaber that activated it, it is steered by the user’s ability with Force, and there should be no autopilot and astromech droids there to guide it based on the fact that these innovations are rare within the galaxy in this era.

Why add these parameters if the creators that be are not going to adhere to them?

Ultimately, this issue threatened to be interesting. If this is the modus operandi of the series as a whole… making good on the threat will be the difference between triumph and downfall.

[fillybuildsahouse]

I am VERY curious about why you think the writing of outlast is subpar (and quite frankly? You’re not alone in thinking it was :/)

THANK YOU I WAS HOPING SOMEONE WOULD ASK-

Okay so I feel like I should preface this by saying: I like Outlast gameplay-wise. I could probably nitpick a few things here and there, but we’re here to nitpick poor story structure not gameplay >:3c 

The most obvious (and frankly the worst most terrible) reason that I despise the story is because the ending (where your character Miles gets possessed/becomes a new demon host or whatever and immediately gets shot) is a HUGE bummer and really makes everything you go through to beat the game feel completely worthless and like you’ve just wasted a whole lot of your time. Putting that aside though, (for now) I’m gonna start with what I felt was the turning point in the writing, which was the single objective: Find Father Martin (or smth like that I don’t remember the wording shh).

By this point there is literally no reason why Miles should trust Martin. Before this point in the game, he see’s you almost unconscious and certainly hurt and just calls you a prophet and leaves you, shoots you up with a syringe of something that makes you pass out, sends crazy goons to ‘look after you’ (goons which defy that order and just end up trying to kill you while naked which is completely unnecessary by the way there is literally no nudity in this game that means anything or has any purpose). Not to mention that every note you find relating to him clearly depicts him as unstable and the leader of a cult. He mentions once or twice that he’s glad your safe and that he doesn’t want you to die but would that be enough for you to disregard all that, and try and find him once you get outside instead of taking your chances with barbed wire?? (Not to mention - and this is a nitpick I know -you find a shed outside with no bolt cutters but certainly tools that looks sharp enough to cut a hole in the fence so???). 

Aside from all that, following Martin eventually leads you to his mock crucifixion thing. This is the point where I realized that the cult storyline doesn’t really have a purpose except to have a reason as to why goons are after you, and I guess to through some admittedly cliche’ ‘spooky religious’ imagery at you (My favorite thing is that this troupe always boils down to ‘What if... Christianity was SCARY and A CULT’). 

What bothers me especially about this ‘following the crazy cult leader for no reason’ bit is that most of my problems with it could be solved with a single note, weather from Miles or a file in the asylum. Just anything that suggests that Martin either knows the only way out, or is the only thing stopping you from leaving, meaning it would be best to go with his plans until you can safely leave. 

It is at this point that I would like to mention that the doctors portion of the game, wherein you get captured and tortured and loose two of your precious fingers, is my favorite part in terms of story because it’s so tight and it makes more sense to me than most of the story and conflicting character motivation in this game. This doctor guy is crazy and he likes to torture people. He doesn’t know you, but he doesn’t really need to know you, and the fact that he speaks like a sane person makes it all the more infuriating that he’s going to do this to you just on a whim. 

When you’re being rolled around strapped to a wheelchair, there’s a bit where you see the open exit. The glowing red exit sign and the dark abyss of the storm outside is so close yet so far that it hurts, and this is made even better by the doctors dialogue, which taunts you with an offer of waiting while you frolic in the crisp outside air for a while. Then he cruelly wheels you (backwards so you can see your exit slipping further and further away as you go) into the elevator to torture you. This part is great! This part of the story is tight and self contained and it doesn’t interfere too much with the rest of the plot once the doctor dies. Also, giving the player a glimpse the exit (not just a way out but an open, earned, and easy-looking way out) and putting it  just out of reach like this is not only a cleverly cruel bit of writing, but it motivates the player moving forward by dangling a silvery thread of hope in front of their face for a brief moment before yanking it away. 

Credit where credit is due, you should never get to the point in a survival-based horror game where you’re saying ‘by this point I would just lay there and die honestly’ and this part prevents that from happening, if only to get you to a bad ending. 

There are other details that I’m not remembering I’m sure, but MOVING ONTO THE ENDING WHICH IS TERRIBLE. I just wish once that the ‘experiment gone horribly wrong in a horror game’ thing didn’t lead to the realization ghosts or whatever are real. I wish the walrider really was just a myth that crazy people saw in their dreams due to the experimentation. Because now not only does it take away a touch of originality (I wanted them so badly to go with the ‘it’s Billy’s suspended consciousness and because he’s now criminally insane it’s killing people and going nuts and making crazy people even crazier) but it validates every crazy rambling lunatic you come across who insists that the walrider is real. I don’t want those guys to be validated even a little bit! I want them to be wrong and crazy! 

As for Miles dying. Obviously it’s disappointing, and a huge bummer, and makes the whole game feel like a serious waste of time rather than a journey or a horrifying but otherwise fun experience, but they really kick you while your down with the realization that killing you doesn’t kill the walrider. The thing that you worked through the whole game to defeat, that posses you and drives people crazy, doesn’t get defeated by the end. Usually in a horror story this would be fine- if it had been written differently, I might even be fine with our character dying as well! But I can’t even comfort myself over the death of all my wasted effort because his death meant nothing in the grand scheme of things! The walrider is still out there being the source of cults and making people violent and crazy!  

Not to mention that while I was playing me and my brother gave Miles a wife character named Nancy because it was comforting at the time, and nOW HE’LL NEVER GET HOME TO SEE HIS BEAUTIFUL AND LOVING WIFE CAUSE HE DIED FOR A BADLY WRITTEN PLOT

GOSH this got long, but those are my thoughts! Fueled by my annoyance of sub par writing and the fact that I only got four hours of sleep last night! Enjoy and lemme know what y’all think or if you found other issues/gems in the writing that I didn’t catch!

[theswordofpens]

Letters to Society's Children - Issue #14

My dearest children of society, 

    I write to you all on the subject of poverty. For the vast majority of us in life, we have lived our entire lives under the tumultuous burdens of being poor. While this unites some of us, it unfortunately drives us even further apart as we struggle and fight one another in order to get a better plight in life. This supposed “rat race” has been constructed both by those who wish to keep us underneath their power and by many of our own hands as we work against each other. Some of us may ask, “What does poverty look like?” Nonetheless, this is only indicative of the fact that our current world values the worth of human soul based upon how much money they have or they can make someone else. Poverty is when a mother tells her children that there is no more food to eat. Poverty is when a child has to continue to go to school with holes in their shoe for months, perhaps even years, on end. Poverty bears the face of the starving and the downtrodden, the weary and the homeless. 

    Listen well, children of society: It is the duty of those who are blessed with more to share with those who are less fortunate. Each soul in this world is worth more than what gold and paper can say, and it’s about time we start acting like it. We’ve got to work together in order to help feed those who are hungry, bring homes to those who have none, and to quench the thirst of the parched. If those who have more share with those who have less, than the scales of our society will finally be balanced. Those who are wealthy must begin to bridge the gap between them and the poor by focusing on helping mend the wounds of society. Surely, even five of the world’s richest people can make more of a difference than every politician combined. Before that can even be attempted, we must close the gap that divides us and the system that places the masses under the heels of the elite. My children, we must strive to create a world where every person is worth far more than any currency we can come up with, where every soul can live without the fear of going hungry. If we can create weapons of mass destruction capable of erasing hundreds of thousands of people in the blink of an eye, surely we can work towards a world where everyone had a home. If our governments are capable of spending trillions of dollars on wars that devastate whole nations and destroy countless lives, then they should absolutely, without a shadow of a doubt, have the capacity to ensure that every human being will never go without water again. 

    Wanting to be rich is not the crime in question, my children. The sin itself is when one becomes rich and possesses the means of creating real change in the lives of those who so desperately need it, but chooses not to serve their own selfish agendas. While change may take time, it does start within. Inside each and every one of us is the strength to move mountains, despite what the wealthy and the elite constantly tell us. One person’s worth should not be measured on the amount of money they possess, but should be measured by what they contribute to the benefit of those around them, and indirectly, to the whole world. We must act now, dearest children of society! We mustn’t push each other down or aside in order to get a better plot in life, but instead lend a hand to those who need it. This life we live is surely a war indeed, but it was never meant to be fought alone. The issue of poverty may not be solved in one day, or one week, or one month, or one year. However, if we work together and press onward, no matter the obstacles before us, then there may be a day when not a single soul goes hungry again. 

    Kofi Annan, former Security-General of the UN and co-recipient of the Nobel Peace prize once said, “Extreme poverty anywhere is a threat to human security everywhere.”

    Signed, Joshua Paul Villanueva. 

[travllingbunny]

The 100 rewatch: episodes 3x03-3x05

I’ve finished the rewatch of season 3, but being way behind with these rewatch posts due to being too busy with actual work, I’ve decided to cover the rest of season 3 with big posts covering multiple episodes, rather than a post for each individual episode. My initial idea was to cover 3x03-3x10 in one post – and would be convenient because a lot of the storylines and issues discussed spill over from one episode to another, and I thought it would also be fitting to cover the worst part of the season in one post (and it says a lot that the “worst part of the season” is half of it). But it got too long, so I decided to split them into two posts.

Not that all these episodes are bad, some are pretty good, some are average, some are on the bad side, but while all of them have at least something worthwhile in them, none of them is free of at least some of the BS – a bunch of plot holes, inconsistent storytelling where it seems like the show can’t decide what it’s trying to do with certain storylines, the tone deaf way the show handled such things as racial or LGBT issues…

I’ve tried to go into the rewatch with an open mind and try to watch the show in the Watsonian way, as much as possible, and try to purge my mind of the bad but popular fandom takes, behind the scenes stuff , fandom crap that has been going on to this day and that I know was even worse at the time… but it’s hard to stop going Doylist and wondering “what were they trying to do with this?”, “are we supposed to like/approve of this? Or should I stop asking these questions, because It doesn’t matter”, “to what extent is show itself to blame for the bad fandom interpretations and how much did they create the mess that the fandom turned into with their terrible handling of so many issues?”, :who thought this storyline was a good idea? Did the writers really never hear about the Bury Your Gays trope?”.. “is this storyline really , really racist, or was it just written by a bunch of people who never spent 5 minutes in any fandom and were not thinking about how this is going to be received and that it’s going to encourage racism in the fandom?” “Did people making this scene/storyline realize that this is rape, or not, and what the heck were they trying to do here?” and so on.

I’ll do my best to not rant much about any of these things, just so it wouldn’t overshadow everything else. And sometimes I’m genuinely not sure if, say, the interpretations that drive me nuts – like trying to demonize the show’s protagonists, people from Ark, as “colonizers” (which is so stupid that I can almost feel a few of my brain cells exploding every time I type it) – are just fan things? It’s really hard to figure it out sometimes, because season 3 feels so schizophrenic, like there are two or three completely different stories being told and clashing. There’s a really good story somewhere out there, maybe, and all of this could have been good if done better… And there were some things I appreciated the first time and some I liked better on rewatch. Even putting aside the problematic stuff, there are plenty of plot points that just plain don’t make any sense.

I wanted to get all of that out first, so I don’t have to go too much into it in the episode reviews.

Spoilers up to the end of season 5 and maybe the season 6 trailer. I have seen the leaked first two episodes of season 6, but will not be spoiling anything from these episodes.

3x03 Ye Who Enter Here

“Abandon all hope, ye who enter here…” The 100 really loves its references to Dante’s Inferno!

This episode is one of those I find really hard to rate. It has really beautiful cinematography and music, it’s very intense and has complex relationships, drama and twists, and I liked it much better the first time I watched it. But it seems much worse in the context of the entire show, now that I know where some of these storylines go, what happens in the rest of the season and the show, which makes me think “if the writers knew they were going to do that thing later, why did they do this?” Is this the problem with this episode, future episodes, or both?

One of the things that confuse me in the “what were they trying to do with this” is the way the relationship between Clarke and Lexa is portrayed. Their dynamic here is very dark, complicated and interesting. But knowing that they are going to have a romantic relationship in just 5 episodes, which is regarded as the show’s great romance by many, and that the cast and crew have done a lot to promote it that way – why would you write that dynamic this way? The characters have chemistry and a bond, but after the betrayal in 2x15 and the way it triggered events that emotionally damaged Clarke so much, I was wondering how the show was going to make a romance in season 3 convincing (since I had always been spoiled on CL and Lexa’s death). In general, however, it would have been possible to do a really good storyline about making amends and forgiveness, which I would have loved. But did it have to happen by one character having the other kidnapped (even if you may argue that Lexa, the character, didn’t have other options at that point, it’s a writing choice to play the Abduction as Romance trope  straight – since this dynamic doesn’t get overturned at any point, Clarke eventually agrees to do what Lexa wants her to do and things progress from there), keeping her imprisoned for a week while she refuses to see her, and then, instead of apologizing for her betrayal, giving a speech about how she must forgive her because she’s also done bad things? I found all of Lexa’s lines in that scene infuriating, especially when she brought up what Clarke did in Mount Weather to try to argue that Clarke would have done the same and that there was nothing wrong with her decision. People, this is not how you should try to get someone’s forgiveness.

On the plus side, Clarke isn’t taking any of that BS and cuts it all down, pointing out such facts as that Clarke was left with no choice and it was exactly because of Lexa’s decision. But seeing how Clarke’s thinking changed over the course of the show, I can’t help but think that Clarke started believing on some level that she really was a bad guy due to Mount Weather, and that everyone else was also just doing things “ for their people” (which a bunch of people keep telling her this season to justify their own crappy actions by throwing MW in her face), so if everyone was a bad guy,  morality didn’t matter anymore.

Roan, who’s unhappy with Lexa for not lifting his banishment yet, tries to use Clarke’s anger and pain to make her kill Lexa, giving her a knife and telling her to take her revenge. Clarke realizes that he is trying to use her for his political ends, since his mother, Queen Nia, is Lexa’s rival, and observes that Nia is, as far as she’s heard, even worse than Lexa. Roan claims it’s just because she’s been getting Lexa’s biased POV. Except in this case, it’s true, Nia is worse, as she’ll show in this episode.

Clarke actually decides to try to kill Lexa (which is a really desperate move – she must have realized that she’d be dead soon, too, if she killed the Commander, but it shows in what bad state she was), before realizing that she can’t go through with it. Lexa, on her part, wasn’t trying to defend herself – which she could have easily done, as Clarke didn’t exactly make a smart play to kill her from the ambush, it was more about Clarke’s anger and Lexa waiting to see if Clarke would really try to do that. She was probably more concerned about Clarke wanting to do it than worried about her succeeding. And in that moment, Lexa does finally say she’s sorry – that she never wanted to damage Clarke like that. It’s, however, not a full apology, because she doesn’t say she’s sorry for what she did, just that she didn’t intend that consequence. And this is the last time they’ll discuss their history – they’ll never talk about Mount Weather or Tondc during Lexa’s life. Clarke will get a real apology from Lexa for betraying her at MW only years after her death, from Flame!Lexa through Madi, in 5x12. We find out in that episode that she really did regret her decision – it was the biggest regret in her life. So why can’t she tell Clarke that now? I think it’s because she feels the need to constantly be in control, and she doesn’t allow herself to question her decisions. Nevertheless, Lexa’s semi-apology and the sadness she shows instead of her earlier smugness seems to get to Clarke and makes her cry.

And when she finally allows Clarke to go home, Clarke agrees to go along with Lexa’s suggestion to bow to her publicly and help her make the Sky people her 13th clan. As Clarke later explains to her mother, when she meets with her and Kane in Polis, she believes that to be the best way to save the Arkers – or the only way: either we become the 13th clan, or we get killed. (Join or die. Sounds very similar to what they know to be the fate of the 13th station before the other 12 joined to form the Ark.) Bleak view, but probably close to the truth – and it shows Clarke starting t get back to her old self a bit and think rationally about how to solve political problems.

A bit before that, there was the infamous scene of Lexa pushing the Azgeda ambassador from the tower, in front of other ambassadors, after he challenged her authority. I now notice that she did it immediately after he called her weak, so I think she did it as a demonstration of strength, to convince others that she isn’t to be messed with. For Grounder leaders, especially the Commanders, nothing seems more important than the appearance of strength – because if your rivals start thinking you’re weak, you may lose your position and your life. Everything is calculated to demonstrate power and authority – the outfits, the war paint, the throne, the speeches… There’s a certain duality about Lexa, as if she’s two people – there are times in private she seems vulnerable and warm, which may be closer to what she would be like if she were not a Commander (and she seems to be more like that when she’s in the Flame – as in season 3 finale or when she ‘talks’ to Clarke through Madi in S5), but whenever she feels the need to be the Commander, she goes back to the cold, ruthless, authoritarian persona. She wants to make amends to Clarke and get back her trust/win her love, but she is only able to do that on her own terms.

And here we first meet Titus, her Flamekeeper/mentor, and getting to know him and see their relationship explains a lot about who shaped her most with his teachings. The relationship between Commanders and Flamekeepers is quite interesting, but I have more to say about that in relation to future episodes. Titus already shows he’s worried and unhappy about Clarke’s potential influence on Lexa.

Later that night, when Clarke does publicly bow in her Grounder-style Wanheda costume, and Kane gets branded as the representative of the Sky people, Clarke tells Abby that she needs to stay to make sure Lexa keeps her promise to protect the Arkers. This creates or continues a very lopsided power dynamic, where Clarke agrees to stay in Polis, far away from her people, surrounded by people who are wary of her, where she has no friends except Lexa, devotes her energies on trying to convince Lexa to do or not do things, and depends on Lexa to help decide the fate of her people.

So, people seem to disagree on what the main or all of Clarke’s motives were for staying in Polis, instead of coming back to Arkadia, after you-know-what hit the fan and Mount Weather blew up. I would point to what Clarke herself said, having to make sure Lexa keeps her promise, since Clarke was aware she was the only one of the Sky people with that kind of clout with Lexa. Some people argue that Clarke also just wanted to hang out with Lexa in Polis because she was into her, or even already in love with her. Now, Clarke had, no doubt, some complicated feelings for Lexa, but IMO, it’s very hard to make a case for her being in love with her, in the usual sense of that word, at this point, seeing how she didn’t trust Lexa yet, told her she had no honor, was seriously considering murdering her at one point, told her “if you betray me again..”, and generally didn’t look happy with her. Besides, it’s been demonstrated before (especially with Finn’s death) that Clarke doesn’t make huge political decisions just based on who she has romantic feelings for. But I do think, after seeing the following episodes, that there was another reason Clarke stayed – because just political reasons don’t explain her reluctance to go back to Arkadia, and neither do feelings for Lexa, since, at this point, she should have been still been able to go back to Arkadia to talk to her people, explain things to them, do something for better communication between Polis and Arkadia, and then she could go back to Polis to stay there for more time. And the first time she does go back to Arkadia, in 3x05, she was unsure how she even felt about it and if she still considered it home, after how much she had changed. I think, she was still running away, just like she did in the season 2 finale, because she still  wasn’t able to face the past and look them into the eye, those people that she did so much for,  committing a couple of mass murders to save them. It was convenient to stay away while doing something to help them. Which also explains her inability to talk to Bellamy and tell him anything other than “I’m sorry” when he asked her to come back.

And that’s a problem in itself: Clarke thinking that she can act as a representative of Arkadia, and make decisions about their future, in spite of the fact that she hasn’t been there for months or spoken to anyone other than Kane and Abby. Kane and Abby’s authority to make these decisions is also pretty questionable, seeing that 1) neither of them is an elected Chancellor (Kane admits that, noting that he and Abby have been handing the Chancellor title to each other back and forth, which they also do here – basically it’s You’re awesome and should be our leader!  No, it should be you, you’re awesomer!), 2) they haven’t consulted with anyone, 3) as we see in the following episode, they did a terrible job of explaining this decision to anyone back home.

According to what Kane tells Abby at one point, they were also supposed to negotiate a bunch of issues, such as trade routes, Lincoln’s kill order, Clarke’s return… Clarke decides to stay, we later learn that Lexa had revoked Lincoln’s kill order, but it seems that nothing else has been resolved before the meeting got interrupted, or at least we never learn about it – things like trade routes that would allow Arkadia to be self-sustaining. If Kane had gotten some concessions, he could have done a better job of convincing people that joining the Coalition was a good move.

After the ceremony, Lexa surprises Clarke by bowing to her in private and taking a vow to treat her people as hers and do what’s best for them. The scene looks very romantic – this is generally the case with the Polis setting, with candles and all, and you can see it as a kind of deliberately invoking betrothals or marriage proposals. But it happens only after Clarke had already publicly bowed to Lexa as the Commander, in the name of her people. And since Lexa’s vow takes place in private, it means nothing to anyone other than her and Clarke – especially since no one else even knows about it (and won’t know, since Clarke is not even going back to Arkadia to try to persuade people about this course of action).. A public vow might have done something to convince the people in Arkadia, but it never happened, whether it was because Lexa didn’t want risk looking “weak” in the eyes of other Grounder leaders, or for whatever other reason.

Meanwhile in Arkadia, we see the last harmonious and happy scene between the Blake siblings, just before a character from season 2 returns… oh look, it’s Echo! Whose name we only now learn. She pretends to be helpful, warning Bellamy about a plot by the Ice Nation to attack the summit in Polis, and she tells him exactly what he wanted to hear – that some Grounders, including her, felt bad about the betrayal at Mount Weather – to manipulate him into helping the actual Ice Nation scheme to blow up Mount Weather, with a bunch of Arkers who had just moved in there. But that’s the twist that comes later. First, Bellamy convinces Pike to trust Echo, based on his history with her – that they saved each other’s lives in MW, and they go to Polis to save everyone, only to learn that they were duped and that a bunch of people just died because of it. Raven and Sinclair are the only ones who survived, while Gina was killed by the Ice Nation assassin while trying to stop him.

Gina’s death was something that already pissed me off the first time I watched this. Not because I was attached to her – that was impossible, since she was so underdeveloped that she was barely a character. But that’s exactly why – they introduced this female character that was completely underdeveloped and gave Bellamy Time Jump off-screen Girlfriend (No 1), just to fridge her in episode 3. Was this even necessary? Bellamy would have still felt terrible that his mistake got so many people killed, people he felt responsible for. And while I’m sure he cared about Gina, the show didn’t even try to pretend that he was super in love with her: here he didn’t even ask about her when he heard that MW blew up, or seem to register the fact that she was dead, instead focusing on asking Clarke to come back. (Raven!ALIE also commented on that in 3x11 saying “Too bad you were never that devoted to Gina”.) At least – and that was a big relief in the next episodes – they didn’t try to make it look like the cliché “They killed my girlfriend, so I want reveeeenge!” It was more that Bellamy felt guilty and concerned about making the same mistake again, which made him reluctant to trust Grounders again.

And this is one of these times when I have to wonder “why did the writers decide to do this?” Did they already know they would put Bellamy in a relationship with Echo a couple of seasons later? Did they actually plan to do it since season 2? Or did they just decide “Oh yeah, this would be a great idea” at some point? In any case, I’m scratching my head. I know that The 100 writers love to build relationships from messed up and antagonistic beginnings, and they love the Enemies to Lovers trope, but this is not how you do that. That’s about people from different sides learning to see each other’s point of view, not about two people from different sides meeting and apparently finding understanding, just for one of them to horribly betray the other, use his trust to kill his girlfriend and a bunch of other innocent people, trigger the worst part of his life, try to kill his family and friends and finally become Time Jump Off-screen Girlfriend No 2. It almost seems like the writers think that betrayal, murder of loved ones etc. is not something to overcome, but a good or decent enough set-up for a romance in itself, because the forgiveness/redemption part and actual development of the relationship may happen completely off-screen. Now B/E may be a relationship that the writers don’t care much about and never really give much narrative weight to (just as they never did to Bellamy/Gina – but that was never going to be so grating to the viewers as those two did not have that kind of bad history), and that they clearly don’t intend for viewers to get all that invested in, but it’s still a part of the story, so why so badly written?

The ending is the big villain reveal  – Echo reports to her master, Queen Nia, who’s pretty much your classic Evil Queen figure, and they are revealed to be working with no other but Emerson – which makes sense, because who else would have had the codes to blow up Mount Weather? We don’t find out how that alliance started – whether he approached them, or they caught him and he proposed them a deal – but for Emerson, it may be about revenge, since he thinks for some reason he has a right to it. But it’s really interesting that we see that the Ice Nation leaders, and “just following orders” Echo, who was literally kept in a cage in Mount Weather and got super close to getting strung up, drained and killed, have no problem working with the one of the guiltiest Mountain Man, or all people, a guy who participated and orchestrated in all sorts of crimes against Grounders. I guess the “Blood must have blood” motto falls by the wayside in favor of political expediency. It’s pretty funny that such a big deal was made out of the Grounders supposedly having a problem with Arkers moving into Mount Weather because of their bad history with the place, and the Ice Nation ambassador even smugly said “You shouldn’t have moved into MW” at the summit… well, yes, they shouldn’t have – but not because Ice Nation leaders gave a damn about their history with the Mountain Men, but because they probably didn’t want Arkers to get too powerful, and they also knew how to blow up Mount Weather! And we find out that it’s all a part of a scheme to wrestle power from Lexa and assassinate her. Which goes nowhere since Nia dies in the next episode. But let’s just note that this mass murder, which was about blowing up a bunch of innocent civilians, wasn’t committed because anyone didn’t have a choice nor because anyone believed they needed to do it to protect their people. It was all about getting more power. Something to keep in mind when people try to make comparisons between various characters’ actions.

Timeline: The episode starts a week after 3x02. As most episodes, it seems to last about a day.

Body count:  

Ice Nation ambassador, thrown from the tower by Lexa

Two guards in Arkadia, presumably killed by the Ice Nation

Two guards on the way to Polis, shot by Bellamy

the Ice Nation assassin, killed by Raven to save Sinclair

49 Arkers killed by the Ice Nation assassin at Queen Nia’s orders, including Gina, who was directly killed by the assassin, and 48 more, including 35 from the Farm Station , who died in the explosion. (That means that only about 30 people from the Farm Station are still alive, out of the 180-190 who landed on Earth.)

Rating: 6.5/10

 3x04 Watch the Thrones

I’ve always considered this one of the worst, possibly the worst episode of the entire show (it just narrowly avoided that in this rewatch – I’ve rated it as second worst) and this is where season 3 really starts going wrong. This is mostly due to just how bad the Polis storyline is. I roll my eyes and feel embarrassed watching it, so I’ll just sum it up in a few bullet points:

This is so why I watch TV for, half an episode full of trash 1980s fantasy aesthetics and people with fake tans and pseudo-medieval garb, and Game of Thrones-type Strong Female Characters. *sigh*The show’s obsession with pretty white girls waving swords around and fighting as the ultimate expression of female empowerment became really blatant around season 3.

Nia and Ontari (who is first introduced here) are completely one-dimensional and uninteresting villains. Their motives, as we know it, are just that Nia really loves power, and Ontari loves power and is crazy. At least Nia dies and the show gets to focus on her more interesting son Roan, but Ontari is going to get worse.

This plot is centered around a fight between Lexa and Roan, which is supposed to be great, but it’s actually terribly choreographed and hard to take seriously. They’re both spinning around for no reason and waving their spears around for show, as I it’s all just for entertainment – and at no point does it remotely look like a death match.  

Lexa was way more interesting in season 2, as a morally ambiguous leader/politician that we almost never saw physically fighting, before the show started celebrating her as the greatest most badass fighter. Having a character win a fight and giving them cool superhero beauty shots during/right after the fight is generally a cheap way to try to make the audience like/root for/adore a character. (It also here works in-universe, since Clarke first starts giving Lexa heart eyes while watching her fight Roan and kill Nia.)

The shift in Clarke’s and Lexa’s relationship is too sudden and early to feel convincing. It’s been a day since Clarke was calling Lexa someone without honor and seriously considering killing her for revenge, and now they’re already super friendly since the start of the episode, and Clarke has apparently fully forgiven her by the end of the episode. Even though all that Lexa has done so far is get Clarke to agree to her plan to make Skaikru the 13th clan, and kill Queen Nia – which works for the benefit of Clarke’s political goals (since Nia engineered a terrorist attack and killed a lot of Arkers and is generally likes killing Arkers), but was also Lexa getting rid of her political rival and solving her own problem.

In her conversation with Clarke after the fight, Lexa explains the actions of Ice Nation saying they were just doing what was good for their people, and Clarke doesn’t disagree. This is the beginning of show’s tendency to equalize every action through this kind of moral relativism BS (they repeat the “doing for their people” thing ad nauseam throughout season 3, and it continues later), as if, say, defending yourself and your people from being horrifically killed is the same thing as blowing up a bunch of civilians as a part of a scheme to get more power. Now, it’s good to have moral complexity, like trying to understand every

However, the other half of the episode, which takes part in Arkadia and starts the Chancellor Pike storyline, is way more interesting and complex. Unfortunately, the Polis storyline also manages to make this storyline much worse. Like I said, season 3 often feels like it’s contradicting and clashing itself, and here there are two conflicting stories one that’s very complex and morally grey and interesting and pretty good – and then there’s another, which is pretty bad (and full of unintentionally racist and anti-democracy messages) that the fandom read into it, where Sky people are the bad guys, Pike is the evilest villain ever with no redeeming qualities, Bellamy is a villain or a misguided stupid guy, Lexa is the hero of the story who could single-handedly save everyone and install peace, and Clarke is her love interest/sidekick. But while the show seems to have been telling the former story, the way it framed some things was playing into the latter one and giving it life: since the Polis storyline frames Lexa killing Nia as something we should cheer for as the solution to every problem (and Clarke’s responses are giving us clues how we’re to react), we’re immediately alerted that Pike is bad news and a fly in the ointment.

But as far as can see, everyone in this episode makes some really terrible decisions, which all make sense to them from their specific worldview and/or emotional state at the time:

Lexa decides to send an army to protect Arkadia. And I’m watching the scene and going: shouldn’t you first talk to the people of Arkadia/their representatives about that, or at least inform them well beforehand? (Or maybe she did but Kane was terrible at doing his job.) With the history you have with these people, you really shouldn’t be surprised if they don’t trust you.  And no, Clarke does not count as their representative. But maybe Lexa thinks about it the way Grounders seem to – if the leader, official or symbolic (Kane or Clarke) decide something, everyone else will follow? Not realizing that this isn’t how ti works.

It’s harder to understand why Clarke doesn’t seem to understand that. It’s like she’s entered a bubble where she really thinks that all problems can be solved by her and Lexa as the ‘leaders’ of their people, or she thinks Kane and Abby can solve anything back home. Much as I love Clarke, she should have realized she couldn’t play that role, since she hadn’t been to Arkadia even once in 3 and a half months and has no idea what’s going on there. If this were full capacity Clarke, she’d have negotiated the heck out of this alliance, gotten some really good concessions for Sky people, then gone back to Arkadia and given speeches and convinced people why it’s a good idea to join simply by listing the benefits and explaining how bad it would be for people to stay out of the alliance.

Pike is someone spent almost four months in the woods as a leader of a group of guerrilla fighters, after the Ice Nation kill about 2/3 of people from the Farm Station, so he thinks that he thinks Arkers are under constant threat from the Grounders and that taking up weapons and killing everyone that seems like a threat is the only way to defend his people. He doesn’t think about the fact that this kind of policy is not likely to lead to anything but constant war and destruction and loss of life, but he is convinced that his is the only approach that is realistic, that war has been going on from the start and will never stop, so it’s “kill or be killed”. I’ve seen people accuse him of “manipulating” Bellamy and using Bellamy’s emotional state after his losses – but what does that mean? Pike also lost a lot, he had opted to trust Echo’s intel because Bellamy argued she was trustworthy, and 36 more of his people from the Farm Station were killed as a result. You can say a lot about him, but not that he doesn’t honestly believe in what he’s saying –, he’s a very “what you see is what you get” kind of guy, who’s motivated by the desire to protect his people, but his inflexibility, inability to see another POV or question himself will lead him to very dark places. The road to hell is paved with good intentions.

(I don’t know why most of the fandom treats this character as if he was a one-dimensional villain like Nia or Ontari, when he’s actually one of the antagonists who are very morally grey. I certainly don’t know why people say that the show supposedly didn’t explain his motives, or even Bellamy’s motives, when both are really easy to understand, and they’re actually spelled out several times throughout the season, starting with this episode. I’ve seen many fans say that his flashbacks from 3x13 should have happened much earlier, to make him a more sympathetic early on before making him an antagonist. Now this may be a good point, because people react much differently to things that are shown rather than told, and the fact we get told the backstory of the Farm Station people but don’t see it on screen is certainly a factor, though I think it’s mostly because everything happens so fast and we’ve already been signaled who and what we’re supposed to be rooting for, with how the Polis story was framed. I certainly can’t accuse the show of trying to make him one-dimensional- and if anything, the show went a bit overboard with the whole ‘everyone thinks they’re doing the right thing for their people” theme.

Kane is at the other end of the spectrum from Pike with his earnest desire to make peace and build bridges with other groups of people. But in some ways, the reality he lives in in his head seems as skewed as Pike’s. Now, I do really like Kane, he’s in my top 10 characters, but he’s always had a naïve, moralizing streak – he says things that are perfectly reasonable (why can’t we hold a trial for Finn and the Grounders recognize the ruling? Why can’t the Mountain Men let us donate bone marrow? Why can’t be all live in peace?), but he doesn’t seem to understand that he’s in a post-apocalyptic world, surrounded by people who distrust and hate each other, not among a bunch of diplomats or college kids from before apocalypse , chatting over multiculturalism. His main problem is – he really can’t read his audience, and he’s terrible at selling his point of view to the masses, because he doesn’t even understand their issues. Hey. Kane, how about explaining to people why it’s good for them to become the 13th clan and accept the authority of the Commander who had, up to that point, been at best a dubious and occasionally treacherous ally to them, or why they should trust her army to protect them rather than attack them? People in Arkadia don’t have the benefit of watching the show and seeing the superhero shots or knowing that the Commander is positioned as the main character’s new love interest, so we should trust her promises… and they also haven’t seen any promises, as none of them were public. How about asking for some public assurances and vows, instead of just getting a brand? Unlike the Grounders, the Arkers do know pre-apocalypse history, and people getting branded doesn’t have nice associations. (No surprise at all that Pike destroyed him in the public opinion there.) How about not telling people that they’re just “collateral damage” in the war between Ice Nation and Trikru, because that’s terrible and only likely to get people angry and scared. How about announcing beforehand the fact that a Grounder army is going to come to camp right outside Arkadia, to protect them from potential further attacks by the Ice Nation? Instead, someone saw an army outside when they were already there and everyone freaked out, because OF COURSE PEOPLE WOULD FREAK OUT THAT THERE’S SUDDENLY AN ARMY RIGHT OUTSIDE THEIR DOOR! Armies feel like a threat, even if they are supposed to have a peacemaking or protective mission – especially since they could get other orders any moment, as far as anyone knows. And finally, just how dumb is it to hold an election right after a huge terrorist attack/mass murder, while everyone is reeling from the tragedy?

Abby is not even a political entity this season, she pretty much just agrees with Kane and doesn’t do anything political. To be fair, she soon gets to be involved in a different storyline – the City of Light.

Bellamy’s arc in season 3 proved, on my first watch, to be a nice surprise, since I had been warned that he supposedly undergoes “character assassination”, which I didn’t find to be the case at all. I had also been scared, after seeing 3x03, that the show was going to do that cliché fridging story where he finds out his girlfriend is dead and then he’s all about revenge (ugh), so I was really relieved it wasn’t portrayed like that. It’s about Bellamy feeling guilty because a lot of innocent people he felt responsible for (including Gina) died because of his mistake - which was to trust Echo, a Grounder he believed he could trust because they had saved each other's lives. So, he stopped trusting the part of himself that was ready to trust and expect good from people, Grounders specifically, after two betrayals that really stung, and started believing that war and “kill before they kill you” was the right way to go, and that this was the best way to protect his people.

Like Clarke, Bellamy had already been damaged by what they did in Mount Weather in the season 2 finale, even though he didn’t show it as obviously as she did, but instead kept it inside while do his duty and have a normal life for 3 months, but the pain and anger was already simmering (and we saw it explode in the scene with Clarke in the next episode). But one thing I’m sure he didn’t feel about Mount Weather is that it was a mistake – he was tormented by how awful it was that they killed children and people like Maya, but he knew there was no other choice. But the second Mount Weather tragedy, the one from 3x03, made him distrust himself and his own leadership decisions, so, like Clarke, he let someone else lead – in his case, Pike.

And Pike works really well as Bellamy’s Shadow character – he is similar to mid-to-late season 1 Bellamy, taken to extreme – he seems like what, perhaps, Bellamy may have become over time without more pacifying influences and experiences. But, unlike Pike, Bellamy questions himself all the time, agonizes over every bad decision and every person he killed that he may not have had to, and as a result of that, he has a much greater ability to grow as a person. Season 3 is crucial for Bellamy’s overall arc as this is where he has to make the choice between two different paths, and Pike and Kane, as his alternative father figures, are embodiments of those two different paths. (Which doesn’t mean that Bellamy becomes just like Kane – I hate it when people claim that season 5 Bellamy was the new Kane. Wrong.)

But while the overall beats of the story work for me, in execution it has some serious problems. One is that the scenes that show Arkers’ prejudices towards Grounders are some of the most on-the-nose, cliché stuff out there (this is a problem throughout this arc), and, what particularly annoyed me, this storyline turns Lincoln into little more than plot device to show said prejudice and create tension between Pike, Bellamy and Octavia. Ricky Whittle even looks bored throughout season 3, and I can’t blame him, with the tiny amount of lines and even less focus that his character got.

Here, they show this through another new character, Gilmer, a Farm Station guy who aggravates the tensions and throws a stone at Lincoln just because he hates all Grounders (he continues to act this way in the following episodes, too). At this point, his action is condemned, which shows how much things will escalate even by the next episode, when this kind of behavior becomes pretty much accepted in Arkadia. Pike tries to somewhat defend Gilmer by pointing out that he lost his son in the Mount Weather explosion, but that doesn’t change much in Gilmer’s overall portrayal as the typical minor bigoted a-hole character. His prejudice goes further than anyone else’s – at this point, Pike tries to stop the crowd from turning against Lincoln, and argues that the threats are outside the camp, and that people shouldn’t start accusing people in the camp. (He’s going to change that opinion big time in a few episodes.) But he and Hannah already become unhappy with Lincoln when he opposes Pike’s policy and plans to kill Lexa’s army – Hannah even sarcastically says “so much for the good Grounder”. Still, I gotta be fair to the show – it’s not like every so-called villain in this story was a POC, they did make the character who is the most bigoted a white guy. Even if a big part of the fandom treated not just Pike, but even Bellamy (the main target of hatred for some fans for… reasons) as if he was just like that Gilmer dude, which led to some lovely examples of fans indulging in real life racism against real people, under the excuse they were so upset by fictional “racism” against fictional Grounders… (I really tried to rant less about the fandom, I swear.)

This is where Pike suggests his plan to kill the Grounder army, explaining that all they need is 10 people with semi-automatic guns… Really? That doesn’t seem like a feasible plan to me. But more about that in comments on 3x05.

Another character introduction: The vigil for the Arker victims of the Mount Weather attack is when we first meet Bryan, Miller’s boyfriend.

Lexa’s mentee/preferred heir, little Aden, is also introduced, and we first hear about the Nightblood, but we still hadn’t learned at that point how exactly one becomes the Commander (killing a bunch of other kids), so this relationship used to seem far less creepy than it does now.

Jasper and Monty were the best part of the episode. An intense, emotional confrontation between old friends, two people who deeply love each other, but who cannot fully understand each other because they react to trauma in such different ways. Jasper cannot understand how Monty can endure everything that has happened to him and that he has done, and soldier on – but that doesn’t mean that Monty doesn’t have strong feelings about all of it. And Monty, on his part, eventually gets angry and has enough of Jasper’s complaints and accusations, and doesn’t know how to deal with his best friend’s mental state. Jasper is developing the dark, nihilistic view of the human race that he will express in his letter, and he quotes Maya’s line “None of us is innocent” (which actually quite changes its meaning).

Finn gets a lot of mentions in season 3, including this episode, where Jasper talks about him and unintentionally ends up spilling his ashes, which he intended to give to Raven.

Timeline: probably not long after 3x03, since there is a vigil for the dead. So maybe a day after, or a couple of day after? Which should mean it has been about 10 days since the beginning of the season.

Body count: 

Queen Nia, killed by Lexa with a spear throw from a distance

Rating: 3.5/10

 3x05 Hakeldama

I liked this episode more during my first binge. Probably because it was right after and before episodes that I liked far less, so it looked better in comparison, and it has one of the best scenes in the entire show – the Bellamy/Clarke argument, plus a really amazing closing scene with Raven. But other than that, I’m not sure if it’s quite as good as I initially thought. I’m still rating it high, but I thought I would give it a 9/10. Some of the other stuff was pretty good or decent (Clarke/Lexa scenes, Murphy/Emori, the City of Light stuff) but there’s also some more on-the-nose, mediocre writing of the Arkadia plot that we’ve already seen in 3x04 – Lincoln used as a plot device to show that prejudice towards Grounders, moments that seem like the writers may be going for dubious political parallels that they really didn’t think through (let’s have some talk about “internment” of sick Grounders, a loaded real life word – even though the Arkers are the refugees in this story who have been constantly attacked by the majority population since they landed, so anyone trying to make that parallel is getting it all ass-backwards… and also isn’t it cool that one of our main antagonists in this story is an East Asian woman, played by a Japanese actress. Because why not go for a full deck, we already have Pike and Bellamy, so it’s ironic or something? I don’t know what they were going for here. OK, Gilmer is still there, I’ll give you that.)  And the plot is built on one of the biggest plot holes in the show, the 100’s version of GoT’s 20 Good Men:

How exactly do 10 people with guns manage to kill 300 Grounder warrior without even getting injured? Were the Grounders knocked out on horse tranquilizers? I’ve had people try to convince me that this makes sense, but they’ve failed. None of the Grounders woke up in time to warn the others, yell, shoot an arrow at them, throw a spear, attack them? It’s 300 people, they aren’t going to be sleeping on a heap, that’s quite an area you have to walk around and shoot each one of them. It’s not like Pike’s group was positioned somewhere above and shooting people with snipers. How does any of it work? I suspect that’s exactly why it’s off-screen – I can’t even imagine how they would ever make that work on –screen. Sure, guns are powerful weapons, sometimes it seems like the writers of The 100 believe that they have downright magical abilities.

Before my first binge of season 3, I was terrified of what awful things Bellamy does this season, since I’ve heard so much ranting about what terrible things he does and how he shouldn’t be forgiven, or people complaining that he was “character assassinated” etc. So when I finally saw season 3, I was relieved: “That’s it?” I mean, of course participating in the killing of 300 people, who weren’t guilty of the specific thing Pike was suspecting them of (planning to attack Arkadia) is a very bad thing, but this is a show that has 2-3 mass murders per season, and where people have done much worse, like killed helpless civilians, killed children… Just two episodes before this, we saw the Ice Nation blow up a bunch of civilians just as a part of a scheme to take power over the coalition. But it’s killing of armed soldiers, who seemed like a legitimate threat, that the fandom has decided is the Worst Thing Ever that anyone has done on the show? Really? Surprise attacks at dawn, trying to catch the enemy (or the perceived ‘enemy’) unaware, aren’t a rare thing in war, Trikru tried to do exactly that to 80 Delinquents in season 1. And the show makes sure to emphasize that Bellamy didn’t lose his moral code, because he was the one who argued against killing the wounded, but couldn’t outvote the other 9 people in the group, including the Chancellor. He only managed to get them to spare Indra.

Bellamy is obviously very bothered by the killing, and he voices his misgivings to Pike: “We went too far”. But this arc tends to have Bellamy being unsure about what they are doing, trying to convince Pike to back down on some of the more extreme actions, and usually failing at it and going more or less along with his decisions. He clearly has a problem with how sick Grounders are treated, and tries to interfere when Gilmer the resident a-hole attacks Lincoln and to stop the fight, but only ends up getting punched by Lincoln, and it all ends up with Pike arresting Lincoln after Lincoln gives Gilmer a beating, even though Gilmer was the first to attack. But when Kane or Octavia confront him, he defends his support of Pike and Pike’s decisions. And things is, they both do have legitimate reasons to distrust the coalition. I don’t know why people say the show didn’t let Bellamy explain his POV – he did, and he makes a good point when he tells Kane that his “Azgeda bad, Trikru good” simplification isn’t quite right, because “Trikru killed 37 of my friends before you even touched the ground”.

I’ve seen people say that Bellamy telling Octavia to stop playing a Grounder is inconsistent with what he told her in 3x03, that he was OK with her choices. But it is not – the reason he tells her this now is because he sees what the current atmosphere in Arkadia is like and how anti-Grounder it has become, so he is worried about her safety.

The scenes between Clarke and Lexa were more in tune with Lexa’s characterization from season 2, and their dynamic was portrayed in more similar to the way it was treated as it was in S2 or in 3x03, and far less romanticized than in 3x04 or in 3x06-3x07. At the beginning of the episode, they are riding towards Arkadia and smiling and congratulating each other on ‘solving’ the problem, by virtue of Lexa killing Nia: “We bring them peace”. Clarke says she isn’t sure that Arkadia is her home anymore, since she’s changed so much since she was last in Camp Jaha. How much of that is Lexa’s influence and how much is Clarke’s discomfort with facing her friends after Mount Weather? But the moment that Lexa hears about the killing of her army, she goes back into the mode of the Commander from S2, who wants to call the leaders of all clans, go to war and kill all Arkers. When Clarke tries to argue against it, and suggests to go to Arkadia to talk to Bellamy and try to fix things, Lexa reminds her of the current power dynamics between them, ordering her not to go. Clarke is shocked: “So I’m a prisoner now?” and Lexa coldly replies “Yes”. She relents in the end, after Clarke pleads, and lets her go to Arkadia, but she warns her “You’ve been living with the enemy. If it were me, I would kill you on the spot”. Does she really believe that? It doesn’t fit with the fact that she let her go back to Arkadia in 3x07 and didn’t try to argue that. Or is she just saying that to try to dissuade Clarke from going?

Indra tells Lexa they would have to start using guns if they are to beat Sky people. She’s changed her views on the use of guns, and she’ll use them in the season 3 finale.

I like that Octavia, who explained the situation in Polis, called out Clarke on the fact that she doesn’t have a clue about what’s happening in Arkadia because she hasn’t been there.

The 4+ minute scene between Clarke and Bellamy is certainly the most memorable thing about this episode, and one of the best scenes in the show. It’s incredibly raw and emotional, one of those rare moments where characters simply let it all out without a filter, and the acting is amazing. They have only seen each other twice since Mount Weather – they were desperate to save each other in 3x02, then they had just one brief conversation and a lot of misunderstanding in 3x03, and now Clarke comes in and starts talking about business, telling Bellamy that she needs him to prevent the war. And this makes Bellamy go ballistic and let it all explode, pour all the pain and rage inside. It doesn’t really matter if his accusations against Clarke are fair or not – he wouldn’t make them in other circumstances anyway, but what this is all about is really the fact that she left, and he didn’t understand why, and now she’s come back, acts as if they have nothing personal to discuss, and nothing about their painful history: Mount Weather, Tondc (when Clarke let people die and put Octavia in danger, which Bellamy has a right to be angry about – even though she did it mostly to protect him, which he may not be fully aware of) - the things Clarke has been trying to put behind her, unsuccessfully. In Polis, she adopted Lexa’s way of dealing with things – avoid bringing up the past, not talk any of it through, just look ahead and try to solve things as they happen. She’s just put a Band-Aid over her wounds, but they are too deep and can’t heal that way, and now Bellamy has ripped it off, and Clarke is left vulnerable, facing up to the pain she’s been running away from. His accusations must have stung, but his anger and the realization how much pain he has been in over Mount Weather, and how much she’s hurt him by leaving and not being there for him, probably stung even more. I never blamed Clarke for leaving – people have the right to deal with their own trauma the way they decide, and at the time, Clarke was a mess, did not see any other way to function except running away and isolating herself, and probably thought she would be a burden if she stayed. But Bellamy, who doesn’t have Clarke’s tendency to isolate himself when he’s in pain, never understood why she couldn’t accept his emotional support and let him help her the way she helped him in season 1, And her leaving left him without the person he really could help him go through his own trauma (Kane couldn’t do that, even though Bellamy obviously talked to him about his feelings over Mount Weather, Octavia and Bellamy don’t have that kind of relationship, and he didn’t seem able to be that emotionally open with Gina). Clarke never realized this, because she thought he was strong enough to take care of the Delinquents in her absence, and didn’t realize that he needed her.

They are both crying, Clarke says she’s sorry, and then his raw confrontation turns into an incredibly intimate moment when Bellamy approaches Clarke, takes her hand in his and they both go on to caress each other’s wrists, gazing into each other’s eyes. Clarke is surprised and smiles through her tears – this is only the second time Bellamy has made such a gesture of intimacy (after stroking her hair in 3x02, but that time, she had no time to react). But the look in Bellamy’s eyes is darker and you can see that he still feels angry and doesn’t trust her. And then the infamous moment happens, as the music turns from soft and romantic to dramatic, and he handcuffs her and walks out. I don’t know at which point he decided to handcuff her, but I’m sure the moment between them was genuine –it’s not like he needed to go that far just to manipulate her, and it really doesn’t seem likely. But I think he was thinking that he shouldn’t allow feelings to prevent him from what he thought he should do, arrest Clarke, which he imagined to be the right way to protect her, as he later tells her while taking her to Pike. But I don’t like people doing things against someone’s will, even if it’s with the idea “I’m doing this to protect you, because I know what’s best for you”. I didn’t approve when Bellamy was overprotective of Octavia that way, I don’t like what he does here, and I didn’t like it when Clarke had him kidnapped and chained in the bunker in season 4 to save him, either. Also, I think Bellamy was wrong to assume Clarke would be safe in Arkadia –while Pike wouldn’t shoot her as Lexa said, I’m sure he would have arrested Clarke. And then there would have been no one to go and convince Lexa not to start a war. So she did well when she used the opportunity, while Bellamy was distracted, by Octavia, to electrocute him and run away.

It’s kind of to see Clarke reduced to someone who can only get anything done by going around and pleading with people and trying to change their opinion, going from Lexa, who tells her she’s her prisoner, to Bellamy, who handcuffs her and tries to arrest her, and then back to pleading with Lexa. But if she failed to convince Bellamy, she does a really good job of persuading Lexa to change her policy and decide not to start killing her people. She does it by telling her that she can choose what kind of a leader she wants to be, and urging her to be a new, different one, who will stop the cycle of violence.

Lexa changing her mind and deciding to accept Clarke’s suggestion and declare that “blood must not have blood” is a huge turning point, but there’s a lot of moral greyness in this moment, because the fact is still that she plans to enforce her new, peaceful policy as a tyrant (I’m not bashing her here – that’s a fact, it’s what all Commanders have been. Their society doesn’t exactly do democracy). When Indra tells her that her people wouldn’t accept that, particularly Titus, Lexa replies angrily that they are all her subjects and must do as she tells them to.

This episode has some fun Memori scenes. They run a scheme together to rob the passers-by. Even though their relationship has developed pretty fast, the same as most romances in the show, it works because it’s not written in the cliché CW romance way. They may be in love, but that doesn’t mean they quite trust each other. The main reason for strife, however, is Emori’s association with ALIE and the City of Light, which Murphy doesn’t want anything to do with. She wants to go find her brother, but he doesn’t want to go with her and be sucked into any of the COL stuff, and he doesn’t really trust her to come back for him or prioritize him: “When people leave, they don’t come back” -“I did” -“Not for me, I just happened to be there”. (There’s even a slight parallel here with the Bellamy/Clarke argument.)

A minor thing I found funny – one of the Grounders says “Stealing in Commander’s woods is punishable by death”, which sounds a lot like the old English laws about hunting in King’s woods, which we know well from medieval stories like Robin Hood.

The COL storyline gets major development – Jaha returns to the camp, bringing ALIE with him, and starts preaching about the City of Light and explaining the chip will help people by taking away their pain. It fits with the overall episode as consequences of pain and trauma are one of the main themes. He talks about how pain damages our ability to function and our relationships with loved ones, friends and family – which is something we certainly see throughout the season - but he neglects to mention that the chip also takes away memories of loved ones and anything that is important to you.

Raven, the first one who confronts Jaha, is the one ALIE wants to get to her side. Raven’s intelligence and talents probably remind ALIE of Becca, and she sees Raven as the key to gaining more followers. Raven is also a character who has suffered so much both physically and emotionally and who is struggling with physical pain and disability, so it makes sense that this storyline revolves around her so much. The ending scene of Raven taking the chip and meeting ALIE is incredibly well done, thanks in large part to one of the best uses a song in the show  - “Thousand Eyes” by Of Monsters and Men.

Timeline: 24 hours after the last episode, which would make this 11-12 days since the start of the season by my count

Body count:

Around 300 Trikru warriors;

Otan (Emori’s brother), killed by Gilmer in a very stupid skirmish, because Gilmer hates Grounders, in case you haven’t realized that yet. (But Otan is still “alive” in the City of Light.).

While this certainly didn’t happen during 3x05, Abby asking Jaha what happened to the people who left with him on the road trip in season 2 (“You left with 12 people!”) may suggest that the six people who decided to go back to the camp instead of continuing the trip died on the way and never came back?

Rating 8.5/10

[artificialqueens]

Something Borrowed 6/? (Witney) - Miss Bianca & jazz

Summary: This was going to be Courtney’s first visit to her childhood home in five years, and she’d made a lot of plans. Obviously, none of them had included falling into a whirlwind, summer love affair with her father’s 28-year-old fiancée, three months before the planned wedding. But sometimes, things just happened.

Miss Bianca’s A/N: And we’re finally back. I missed jazz and our girls so much, y’all have no idea (or maybe you do, idk). Just a brief reminder that this playlist made by @alaskasthrone exists, because we recently discovered that it’s been expanded since we last listened to it, and all the songs are still perfect. And, of course, you can always find us at @willamdelrio and @artificial-jazz , and this fic will be posted on ao3 as well.

jazz’s A/N: SO SO sorry for the delay with this chapter – real life got in the way a bit :((( Believe me, Miss Bianca & I missed writing this fic as much as you all missed reading it. Catch up on Chapter 1, Chapter 2, Chapter 3, Chapter 4, & Chapter 5 here, my loves! Enjoy <3

Willam’s expression hardened the moment Dave’s voice boomed through the house, and Courtney felt her heart sink into her stomach. They were standing at the top of the stairs, holding hands, and Willam was wearing a full face of makeup and a tight skirt for the first time in what felt like forever. Impulsively, Courtney went up on her tiptoes, pressing a quick kiss to Willam’s cheekbone.

When Dave stepped into view, Willam dropped Courtney’s hand instantly, and Courtney watched helplessly as Willam descended the stairs.

Swallowing hard, she stepped backwards into the hallway, and then turned around, retreating into her room. She could greet her father later, she figured. Closing the door, Courtney sat cross legged on her bed, and waited for Willam’s inevitable knock or intrusion.

It never came. The sky went dark outside her window, and when Courtney finally emerged from the room to find something to eat, the house was quiet again.

She imagined that maybe, Willam would be curled up in the living room, or waiting spread out on the floor of the foyer, or perched on the counter sporting nothing but panties and a seductive smile. But there was no sign of the other woman anywhere, and by the time Courtney reached the kitchen, she’d realized that the house was empty but for her and the trail of lights she’d left on behind her.

She ate cold vegan pizza from the fridge as quickly as she could, hating how big and lonely the kitchen felt without Willam propped against the bar, watching her with a hip cocked.

The whole house felt lonely without Willam, Courtney realized. She wrapped her arms around herself as she stood on the fluffy rug in the foyer, her toes digging into the soft fabric, and stared up at the balcony of the second floor landing. She couldn’t help but picture Willam there, in yellow-gold lingerie and matching heels, her elbows resting on the railing, fingers curled to beckon Courtney upstairs and a mischievous smirk daring Courtney to fuck her right there, make her moans bounce off the high ceiling.

The steps felt endless and tiring, and by the time Courtney had collapsed onto her bed once more, her limbs were as heavy as the weight in her chest. She checked her phone impulsively every few moments, hoping that maybe Willam had texted.

As she lay on her back, she found herself wishing desperately that they could rewind to this morning, with Willam pressed against her, breathing softly against her bare chest and slowly tracing her name on her hip.

Courtney waited until past midnight for Willam to come to her room like she’d said she would, digging the other woman’s fur coat out of her closet for some sort of company. Eventually, Courtney found herself curled up on her side, trying her hardest not to cry and wondering why all the color seemed to have been sucked out of the world.

She fell asleep accidentally with the lights still on, the coat pulled over her like a blanket, wrapping her up in the fading scent of Willam’s perfume.

—–

“Courtney?”

Burying her face in the covers, Courtney squeezed her eyes shut tightly. She’d hardly slept last night, and she needed a few more minutes.

“Courtney.”

The mattress shifted under her, and then there was brightness behind her eyelids as the coat that had been pulled up over her head was abruptly tugged away from her face.

“Wake up, princess.”

At that, Courtney’s eyes flew open as she suddenly processed who the voice belonged to.

Willam was sitting next to her, in a t-shirt stolen from Courtney’s closet. The sunlight from the window was making her eyes sparkle, and she was smiling down at Courtney, bright and warm, and Courtney thought she might burst.

Pushing the coat the rest of the way off her, Courtney sat up as fast as she could, practically throwing herself into Willam’s lap and wrapping her arms and legs around her tightly. After a few seconds, Willam hugged her back, and Courtney felt her laughter more than she heard it, utterly caught up in the softness of Willam’s body pressed close against hers again.

“Good morning,” Willam chuckled, and Courtney smiled into her neck.

“Morning,” she replied, her voice muffled. “You didn’t come last night.”

“I couldn’t, babe,” Willam said, rubbing her back. “Looks like you cuddled with my coat instead.”

“Shut up,” Courtney mumbled, stifling a laugh. “I missed you.”

“It hasn’t even been a day, Court,” Willam said, and Courtney could practically hear her rolling her eyes. “Getting all clingy with me, as if I was the one away for a week.”

“Don’t pretend you didn’t miss me too, you asshole.”

Willam ran her fingers through Courtney’s hair, and tugged at it gently, making Courtney lift her head. She was still smiling, a slightly lopsided grin, and Courtney was struck with the overwhelming urge to hug her again, even though she’d never stopped in the first place.

“I did,” she admitted. “But you gotta let go of me, though.”

“Why?”

“Because I’m not gonna kiss you till you brush your teeth,” Willam said. “And you’re super cute right now, and I don’t wanna wait.”

“Well, you can wait another minute,” Courtney said decidedly, tucking her face back into Willam’s neck.

“Bossy,” Willam commented under her breath, and Courtney swatted her back. “Hey!”

With her qualms from the night before almost completely forgotten now, Courtney squelched the small voice in the back of her head reminding her why things couldn’t be this easy forever. In a few minutes she’d brush her teeth, then kiss Willam on the lips and everywhere else for a little while, or maybe for a few hours, and she couldn’t bring herself to care about much else.  

It was this same giddiness – the warmth that Courtney felt at Willam carving out a special moment in time for her that morning – that carried Courtney through the rest of her day. Nothing, Courtney determined, could take that away from her.

She was Willam’s best-kept secret, her favorite thing – Courtney could feel it in the intensity of Willam’s passing glances, in the way a small smile seemed to permanently hide in the corners of her mouth whenever Courtney was nearby.

She’d ride that high for as long as she possibly could.

Courtney even learned to love the game. She found herself staying up late and listening for footsteps outside her bedroom door, when it was quiet and dark aside from the moonlight casting shadows onto the wall, waiting with bated breath for Willam to slip in undetected.

They’d run “errands” for Dave in the afternoons, drive to the laundromat to pick up his dry-cleaning and fuck in the parking lot, Courtney’s sundress bunched at her waist.

Or maybe, if Willam wasn’t wearing a bra, Courtney would tug down the top of her dress until her chest was exposed, and fuck Willam hard, pressing her upright against the door in the backseat of the Jeep so anyone could see them, watching her breasts jiggle in time with her gorgeous little moans.

The scandal of it all seemed to make the whole affair sexier – Courtney soaked her panties through at the thought of getting caught, and noticed how much more desperately Willam bucked into her touch when she thought someone might be watching.

None of it seemed real, when Courtney took a moment to distance herself from the situation. They were two girls living out a movie plot, downsized to a screen that could be shut off as the credits rolled after a cheesy ending and a ride off into the sunset that solved all of their problems.

There were little things that poked holes in Courtney’s fantasy, though – things like Willam’s huge, ugly engagement ring slipped back on after she washed any evidence of Courtney from her fingers, like the way Willam disappeared into the master bedroom when Dave got home. Like the distant sound of Dave’s yelling later on, and the total lack of reply that made Courtney’s stomach turn.

Sometimes, Courtney secretly worried that maybe it wasn’t that kind of movie after all.

Even still, around the house, she graciously accepted the subtlest of touches: the brush of Willam’s fingertips against her side as they shuffled around the kitchen after dinner, or how she’d squeeze Courtney’s hand when she was sure no one was watching, a motion so quick that Courtney would’ve thought she imagined it if it weren’t for her racing pulse.

The alternative to it all was to acknowledge the fragility of their arrangement, its potential expiration date looming large on the horizon – and that wasn’t an option. Not for Courtney, at least. No, she’d keep things as they were for as long as possible, ignoring the wedding planning tabs constantly open on Willam’s laptop, thank you very much.

So, when Willam approached her in the hallway upstairs later that week, mumbling an incoherent request into Courtney’s ear while a hand on the small of her back guided her into her bedroom, the butterflies in Courtney’s stomach had her complying obediently.  

As soon as the door was shut and locked behind them, Willam’s mouth was on Courtney’s, biting and insistent, her hands gripping Courtney’s hips tightly to keep her steady. Courtney looped her arms around Willam’s neck, letting the other woman walk her backwards until her weak knees hit the foot of her bed and she sat down on the edge, breaking the kiss involuntarily.

She panted softly, trying to catch her breath. Her own cheeks were flushed, she could feel it, and her lower lip stung deliciously from where Willam had bitten down and tugged with her teeth.

“Baby,” Willam sighed.

Something tugged in Courtney’s chest at the pet name, and she looked up at Willam reflexively. Her breath caught at the intensity in Willam’s gaze, the raw hunger and the hint of something else, hidden in the affectionate tilt of her lips.

“Yeah?” Courtney managed to say, squeezing her thighs together.

“Baby,” Willam repeated, and Courtney swallowed the whimper rising in her throat. “Fuck, I want you. So bad.”

Willam bent at the hip to press a kiss to Courtney’s lips, slow and languid, her hand cupping Courtney’s cheek as she stole what little air was left in Courtney’s lungs and left her lightheaded.

Rendered completely speechless, Courtney gave a small nod in acknowledgment, ran her hands up the backs of Willam’s legs, letting her touch speak for itself. Willam pushed gently at her shoulders, and Courtney moved backwards onto the bed, watching Willam pull her skirt up around her hips and crawl forwards to straddle one of Courtney’s thighs.

Courtney wanted to say something, tell her how glad she was to see her, how insanely gorgeous she looked on Courtney’s lap, but Willam was kissing her again before she could get the words out.

Once she could get her brain to focus on anything other than Willam’s mouth on hers, Courtney scratched lightly up Willam’s abdomen, pushing her shirt up and running her fingertips all over the exposed skin. Willam hardly gave her a moment to breathe before kissing her again, and again, as if Courtney was addictive, a drug that she couldn’t get enough of.

When Willam finally broke the kiss and propped herself up with her hands on Courtney’s shoulders, both of them were breathing heavily, and Courtney could feel the heat and dampness of Willam’s panties against her thigh.

Willam’s eyes were almost wild, her lips pouty, and she dragged her nails slowly across Courtney’s chest, gaze following the movement of her hand. When she popped the top few buttons of Courtney’s shirt, scratching over the top of her bare breast, Courtney couldn’t help but whimper softly, needing more contact. As if triggered by the noise, Willam started to rock her hips against Courtney’s thigh, groaning low in her throat at the friction.  

Courtney settled her hands on Willam’s ass, encouraging her movements, and the Willam started to grind down faster, nails still digging into Courtney’s skin.

“God, look at you,” Courtney murmured, staring up at her. “I wish I had time to kiss you everywhere, make you feel as gorgeous as you are.”

Willam let out another moan at the praise, louder and needier than the first. Courtney let out a strangled breath, the sound of Willam’s voice sending a bolt of arousal straight to her core. She sunk her fingers into Willam’s ass, squirming and lifting her hips from the bed in an attempt to get some friction where she needed it most.

Clearly taking notice of Courtney’s desperation, Willam tossed her head back and moaned again. Her eyes narrowed almost playfully as she continued to grind on Courtney’s thigh without making any effort to return the favor.

“Do you think he can hear me?” Willam panted, letting out another groan, back arching. “Fuck, I almost wish he would. Then he’d know I fucking fake it with him.”

Courtney whined softly, flexing her thigh and pulling Willam’s hips down more roughly. Willam was only confirming what she already knew, but the wild recklessness in her words combined with the way she was using Courtney’s body to get herself off was enough to make Courtney want to cry out, beg to be touched.

“You know that, right?” Willam said breathlessly, her hand kneading at Courtney’s breast now. “You’re the one who makes me moan and scream, Court. It’s just – ooh, fuck – just you.”

“Good,” Courtney exhaled, reaching up to tug at Willam’s shirt, pulling her back down enough to kiss her. “I want you all to myself,” she added against Willam’s lips before wrapping her arms around her and sliding her hands down to rest on Willam’s ass again.

“You have me, baby,” Willam gasped, her head dropping to rest on Courtney’s shoulder as she moaned again, this time high pitched and through her teeth.

The sound was sharp, cutting, and for a moment, Courtney was positive that it must’ve been audible in the hallway and throughout the entire house. But there was no knock on the door, no footsteps in the hall, and Courtney wanted to hear that noise again more than anything.

Willam panted hot breaths on Courtney’s upper chest as she drove herself higher and higher, and then her teeth closed around flesh, biting down on the taut skin just below Courtney’s collarbone, and Courtney cried out, channel clenching around nothing as she moaned brokenly.

She almost didn’t hear it, the first time the car horn blared from outside. Her thigh was practically slick now, and Willam was moaning in her ear, but when the horn beeped again, three times in succession, everything came to a grinding halt.

“Oh, shit,” Willam hissed, her eyes wide and frantic. “Goddamnit, I fucking – Court, I forgot.”

“What?” Courtney demanded, as Willam scrambled off of her, swaying from side to side for a moment before stumbling towards Courtney’s closet. “What did you forget?”

Willam smacked her forehead with her palm, rubbing the heel of her hand against the space between her eyebrows as if she was trying to clear her thoughts. She wrenched open Courtney’s closet, rifling through the section that was now solely devoted to her own clothing.

“Willam!” Courtney exclaimed.

“It’s fucking – it’s date night,” Willam said finally, and Courtney could see how shaky she was. “He’s waiting for me in the car, I’m already late, I’m not ready -”

“Calm down, Bill,” Courtney said, sitting up. “It’s fine, he’ll understand.”

“You know he won’t,” Willam said, looking back over her shoulder at Courtney. “Cut the crap.”

She hastily took off her tank top and pushed her skirt down past her hips, stepping out of it quickly and grabbing a dress from the closet. It was tiny and shimmery, iridescent shades of teal and green and purple, and Courtney could practically feel how thin and slippery it was as Willam slid it over her head. With the way it loosely draped over her figure and hugged her hips, the way it rode up her thighs the second she started to move, Courtney’s hands were already itching to touch.

“You can’t just put that on and leave,” Courtney complained, watching the hem slide higher up her thighs as Willam reached up to tousle her hair into a shape that seemed intentionally debauched, rather than accidentally so.

“I gotta,” Willam said, looking over to meet Courtney’s gaze. “I’m sorry, kitten. I’ll be back soon, promise.”

With that, she spun around, and disappeared into the hallway before Courtney could protest any more. Courtney stared at the mess Willam had left in her wake in stunned silence, articles of clothing and discarded hangers littering the floor, and flopped back down on the bed with a huff of frustration.

Willam could be gone for hours, Courtney figured. She honestly didn’t know if she could bear it.

She could feel the heat pooling between her own legs, and her thigh was still slick from Willam’s wetness, and she wanted to punch something or someone out of sheer sexual frustration.

With her chest rising and falling heavily, the top of her shirt still open to expose her breasts, Courtney glared at the ceiling. She’d liked it much better when Willam was on top of her.

Now, she was just worked up, and more than a little bit annoyed to boot. In hindsight, Courtney realized, she probably should’ve grabbed Willam’s hips and pulled her up to straddle her face instead, so at least one of them could’ve gotten off before Dave had so rudely interrupted.

Selfishly, a part of Courtney hoped that Willam was just as wrecked as she was. From the wild-eyed look on the other woman’s face as she’d changed and stumbled around the room, Courtney was pretty sure that was the case.

She pictured Willam, legs squeezed together underneath the dinner table, squirming in her seat as she ordered an expensive cocktail on the rocks with too sharp a tone – or trying her hardest to maintain conversation and feign interest in Dave’s dull anecdotes, still in the pair of soaked through panties that Courtney knew she hadn’t changed, her nails digging harshly into her own thighs.

The image made Courtney feel slightly better, almost – but didn’t do much in the way of distracting her from the ache in her core. Briefly, she considered taking care of herself, but gave up the thought after a moment, realizing that it wouldn’t be satisfying after having Willam so close so recently.

“Fuck, I want you. So bad.” Willam’s words echoed in Courtney’s ears, and she took a shaky breath, crossing her legs at the ankles. Baby, Willam had called her. Over and over, making Courtney melt into the bed, soft and malleable and adoring under her. “You have me, baby.”

“Fuck,” Courtney whispered out loud. She grabbed a fistful of her comforter, wished desperately that it was Willam’s hair instead.

After a moment, she loosened her grip. Willam liked when she tugged on it gently, just enough to direct her but not enough to hurt. Willam liked everything better gentle, liked to feel pretty and soft and cared for.

Courtney doubted Dave knew that. Or cared enough to find out.

Men were pigs, she reasoned. And men like her father most of all, the ones who used money and power to manipulate women and then treated them like dirt for letting themselves be taken advantage of.

The combination of arousal and righteous indignation felt like an adrenaline rush, prompting a desire in Courtney to spring up and do something rash, like rush outside and cuss out the first wealthy-looking man she ran into, or video call Willam and make her wish she’d bailed on date night altogether. Clenching her hands into fists, she closed her eyes, and waited for the feeling to pass.

Except it didn’t.

While she possessed just enough self-control not to call up Willam, Courtney did still want to send her a quick text, something to remind her of what she was currently missing out on. After all, Courtney was suffering. It was only fair to let Willam know.

As soon as she had her phone in her hands, one text asking Willam to come back soon turned into three, then six, telling Willam without sparing any details what she wished she’d done to her in the short time they’d been alone together.

It was like shouting into the void. Each message was opened and ignored, until Courtney was gripping her phone tightly enough that she thought she might crack the screen.

Willam had some nerve, ignoring her like this. Courtney was aware that she probably seemed beyond needy and possibly annoying, but at this point, she couldn’t find it in herself to care. She wanted Willam’s attention, and she didn’t feel like waiting.

Making a split-second decision, she popped open the rest of the buttons on her shirt, and shimmied her shorts down her legs, leaving her in her panties with her chest bare. She crossed one arm over her stomach to push her breasts together, showing off the small amount of cleavage she had, and fumbled for her phone. The adrenaline was still coursing through her system, and she could practically feel her pulse under the fingers laid across her ribs as she found the perfect angle and snapped a few pictures.

Courtney chose the most flattering of the bunch and sent it quickly off to Willam without a moment of hesitation, refusing to give herself the chance to overthink it.

She only had to wait a few moments until the read receipt appeared, and only a few seconds after that before Willam finally decided to reply, spamming her with messages.  

The string of curses and exclamation points, along with a desperate inquiry as to what the fuck Courtney thought she was playing at, made satisfaction curl comfortably in Courtney’s stomach. She smirked at her phone screen and wiggled a little, feeling a bit like a cat who’d finally managed to get her owner’s attention. Or, rather, a kitten.

And Courtney was in the mood to play.

For good measure, she shrugged the shirt off her shoulders and took another few shots, free hand toying with her own nipple until it was stiff and sensitive under her fingers.

She figured that would be enough material to keep Willam’s mind on her and her alone until the date was over. And after that, if Courtney played her cards right and sent a few more choice messages later on, she was positive Willam would find a way to get her alone again once she arrived back home.

The next hour and a half crawled by slowly, and Courtney remained on her bed, lounging, occasionally texting Willam, almost painfully on edge. The moment she heard the car pulling into the driveway, she was on her feet, pulling her shorts back on and buttoning up her shirt just enough to cover herself, not bothering with decency.

She hurried down the stairs, and positioned herself against the open archway that led to the kitchen, pretending to scroll through her phone casually as she eyed the front door.

Dave was the first to step inside, not bothering to hold the door open for his fiancée. When Willam entered behind him, catching the door just before it slammed shut, Courtney’s eyes were glued to her immediately.

Willam had matched the tiny dress with a pair of thigh-high black boots, spiked heels and her toes peeking out at the front. Courtney barely even heard her father’s half-hearted greeting, too busy staring at the exposed skin between the hemline of the dress and the place where the boots ended, Willam’s flexed thighs practically daring Courtney to sink her fingers into them.

When she managed to tear her gaze away, Willam was looking right back at her, her cheeks tinted a shade of pink that didn’t match her blush and her pupils very obviously dilated.

It took every ounce of restraint Courtney possessed not to stride forwards and grab Willam, kiss her right there in front of her father. Willam’s tongue poked out to wet her lips, and Courtney had to bite the inside of her cheek to suppress a groan.

Seeming fully and thankfully oblivious to the palpable tension in the air, Dave plodded upstairs for the night, calling Willam to join him as he reached the second floor landing.

Courtney watched Willam take a deep breath, and then the other woman was walking up to her, grasping her hand tightly and leaning in to press a brief but heated kiss to her lips.

“Wait right here,” she whispered, the intensity in her eyes taking Courtney’s breath away. “Okay?”

Courtney managed to nod, and then Willam backed away. She was already halfway up the staircase by the time Courtney recovered her composure, ears straining to listen to Willam’s impressively convincing spiel: assuring Dave that there wasn’t a need for him to wait up for her, that she’d join him in bed after a quick nightcap.

Courtney wanted to tell her that it wouldn’t be quick at all, not if she had anything to say about it.

It was only a few minutes before Willam’s heels could be heard clicking back down the stairs, and Courtney felt like a coiled spring, wound so tight she could burst.

Willam stalked towards her with purpose, her hand landing flat on Courtney’s chest, pushing her back against the rounded frame that she was leaning against. Courtney reached for her instantly, grabbing her waist and pulling her closer – not unlike how she’d wanted to that first night after their family dinner, in the kitchen.

There was a moment of silent tension, Willam’s face just inches away from hers, her skin so hot that Courtney could feel the warmth through her dress.

Courtney’s lips grazed Willam’s, and the other woman exhaled a soft breath against her mouth.

“Goddamnit, Courtney,” she whispered.

When Willam’s lips finally met hers again, Courtney found herself smiling into the kiss, her arms wrapping around Willam tightly.  

“So you liked my photos?” Courtney giggled.

In lieu of a response, Willam snaked a hand underneath the hem of Courtney’s shirt, fingers pressing into her lower back. She sucked Courtney’s bottom lip into her mouth before resting her forehead against hers, reveling in the moment.

“I’ll take that as a yes.”

“You almost killed me,” Willam muttered with a low chuckle.

Just then, there was a loud thud from upstairs, and both of them froze momentarily. Courtney tried to push Willam off of her, and the other woman made an affronted noise.

“In there,” Courtney explained, nodding towards the kitchen.

“Oh.” Willam nodded, keeping one arm around Courtney and leading her into the kitchen with her thumb rubbing lightly over Courtney’s spine.

The room was relatively dim, but neither one of them made a move to flick on a light switch. Instead, Willam guided Courtney around the bar, pressing her quickly against the counter and surging forwards to kiss her again.

Courtney allowed Willam to take charge at first, content to let her get out some of her pent up sexual frustration. Sliding her hands down to cup Willam’s ass and kneading with her fingertips, Courtney considered her options.

It only took her a few seconds to decide, and then she was spinning them around, pushing Willam back against the counter instead and swallowing her responding squeak of surprise. Pulling up the bottom of Willam’s tiny dress, Courtney slipped her thigh between Willam’s, breaking the kiss for a moment just to hear her groan at the contact.

“Oh my god,” Courtney breathed, rocking her hips to grind her thigh against Willam. “How did you make it through dinner like this, babe? You’re soaked.”

Willam whimpered, and Courtney leaned in to press another kiss to her lips before rolling her hips forward again.

“Good job, love,” she murmured, meeting Willam’s eyes just in time to see them glaze over.

She traced Willam’s curves with light hands, up the smooth scales of her dress and around her breasts. Courtney let her touch linger there for a moment before dropping to her knees, smirking at Willam’s audible gasp.

She pressed her cheek to Willam’s inner thigh, glancing up to watch the faint shimmer of the dress over Willam’s heaving chest. It was a gorgeous image, Willam practically buckling at the knees as Courtney’s breath tickled her skin, and Courtney couldn’t believe how lucky she was.

Pushing up the hem of Willam’s dress, Courtney leaned up, placing a kiss at the apex of her thighs, through the damp fabric. Willam shuddered, letting out a moan.

“Oh, Willam,” Courtney sighed, laying her cheek against Willam’s thigh again. “You’re gonna have to be quiet for me, you know.”

“But, baby,” Willam started, her voice weak and raspy.

“I can’t come up there to shut you up,” Courtney said, turning her head to kiss the front of Willam’s hip softly. “Can you keep quiet, love? For me?”

Willam’s hand slid into Courtney’s hair, tugging, trying to pull her face closer.

“I’m not gonna do anything else until you say yes,” Courtney added, nuzzling against the spot she’d just kissed. “And I want to so bad, Will.”

Willam bit her lip, nodding slowly at Courtney with a pained expression on her face. Her fingers coiled more tightly into Courtney’s curls, and Courtney didn’t need any more encouragement than that.

She pulled Willam’s thong away from her wetness, maneuvered it down her legs and over the tall boots, making sure the fabric didn’t catch on the heels.

Willam’s thighs were quivering under Courtney’s hands already, and she rubbed over them as she pressed kisses across the front of Willam’s hip, following the tug on her hair to where Willam wanted her so desperately.

One hand sliding between Willam’s legs, Courtney shifted slightly, gripping the back of her knee.

“You might wanna hold onto something,” she said, feeling Willam tense at her words.

Too impatient to wait any longer, Courtney lifted Willam’s leg, draping it over her shoulder and opening Willam up to her sight. She was so wet that her inner thighs were slick when Courtney kissed her there, and Courtney felt lightheaded, the scent making her head spin.

The point of Willam’s heel dug into her back, grounding her again, and she leaned in to lick a long stripe up Willam’s folds, suppressing a smile at the strangled noise that died in Willam’s throat as she tried to keep from moaning.

Not wasting any time, Courtney tilted her chin up, focusing her attention on the sensitive bundle of nerves, unable to resist teasing it a little with her tongue to make Willam whine.

“Court, baby, please,” Willam begged, her hips jerking.

She knew Willam was hardly staying upright as it was, and she couldn’t afford to draw this out, since the kitchen had no doors and they could technically be caught at any moment.

After a few more brief moments of teasing, Courtney made quick work of opening Willam up with her tongue, driving her to silent screams, her body shuddering as she pulled and twisted Courtney’s hair.

Wetness kept pooling at her entrance, dripping almost constantly onto Courtney’s chin and lips. In a split-second decision, Courtney slipped the hand that wasn’t holding Willam’s thigh up on her shoulder between Willam’s legs. She slid two fingers inside Willam, adding a third when she met no resistance, and this time, Willam failed to suppress her raspy moan.

The slick noises sounding from Willam’s core were enough to make Courtney dizzy with arousal herself, and the fact that she was causing it doubled the effect. She was intoxicated by the feeling of Willam practically throbbing under her tongue, the way her walls fluttered and grasped around her fingers as she pumped them steadily in and out.

When Willam said her name again, voice breaking on the last syllable, Courtney sealed her lips around Willam’s clit, sucking hard as she twisted her wrist to reach the sweet spot inside.

The muffled scream was audible as Willam came, clenching tight around Courtney’s fingers, wetness dripping onto her palm. She was tugging harshly at Courtney’s hair, heel digging into her back again, all sharp edges and soft warmth inside, and Courtney wanted the moment to last forever.

When Willam sunk to the floor, satiated and spent, Courtney was there to envelop her, placing a lingering kiss to the top of her head. She pulled Willam’s legs onto her lap, carefully removing her boots for her, keeping her eyes on Willam as she slumped against the cabinetry.

“Can we just… sit?” Willam asked, her voice sleepy. “I don’t wanna go upstairs just yet.”

Courtney’s heart fluttered, and she pulled Willam into her arms, breathing in the scent of her hair. “Of course,” she replied softly.

Willam hummed, tucking her nose into Courtney’s neck. After a moment, she let out a sigh, sounding so perfectly content that Courtney felt her chest expanding, wanting to give the entire world to this woman who was crumpled halfway in her lap on the kitchen floor.

[nightingveilxo]

Justifying Holmes/Watson or Johnlock as a Player in the Drama (Part I)

What if you’re trying to justify John’s place in Sherlock’s life, but you can’t do it via the meta or screenshots we use? If you’re any of the actual players in the drama (and this makes it possible to pair with trance or EMP theories), you have to quickly push it all together to tie up those ‘loose ends’?

John’s odd blog jpeg from T6T is shown above. Nappies, which means diapers he shouldn’t even be needing yet (unless this is a projection *coughs*) or it also means a large circular platter (if your thoughts run to reflective items and circles of thought--which they should--read the linked meta. We already know that S4 is basically the previous seasons, done backward.)

In order to hold up his place, according to some, John would have to continue on cases with Sherlock and keep writing his blog. Lestrade becomes fixated on the idea in S4, which seemed very strange, except if you’re reviewing the blog and fitting in additional information. Also, in canon ACD and Granada adaptations, this is in keeping with why Watson began writing down the cases for publication. Most of the time, and it’s mentioned more than once, Holmes wasn’t receiving credit in the newspapers for his solving of the crimes--it goes to the multiple lead investigators. Remember this point for later.

Lestrade is afraid...And Sherlock comments his Boswell is learning...

Not fast enough, Sherlock...

Sherlock thought John meant him, but John says he was talking to Mary, so this fanciful solution (7% or otherwise), isn’t working out for Sherlock. Mycroft asks modern John to look after Sherlock, but the end of the special tells us that such a thing never happened, because we’re still in 1895. It’s echoed in S4, by John having a full time job, being a husband, and then also a father. TFP ends Sherlock asking Lestrade to do exactly the same thing with Mycroft, and Lestrade finally saying Sherlock is a good man (going back to ASiP).

NEW OPENING (VICTORIAN) TITLES (with a Victorian twist to the theme tune). Close-up on an issue of The Strand Magazine.  Nearby, a news vendor is calling out to the passing pedestrians.  He is holding newspapers and another copy of The Strand with a small red sleeve around it on which are the words “SHERLOCK HOLMES” and an in-profile white silhouette of the detective.  Offscreen, carollers can be heard singing “Hark!  The Herald Angels Sing.” NEWS VENDOR: Papers!  Papers! (A hansom cab approaches along the street.) NEWS VENDOR: Papers!  Papers! (The cab slows down as Watson leans out of the window a little and gestures to attract the attention of the vendor.) WATSON: Here. (The cab stops.) WATSON: How’s ‘The Blue Carbuncle’ doing? NEWS VENDOR: Very popular, Doctor Watson.  Is there gonna be a proper murder next time? WATSON: I’ll have a word with the criminal classes. NEWS VENDOR: If you wouldn’t mind. (He points towards the figure sitting next to Watson.) NEWS VENDOR: Is that ’im?  Is ’e in there? (Holmes, mostly obscured from the vendor’s view, apparently kicks Watson, who grunts.) WATSON: No.  No, no, not at all.  (He tips a finger to his hat.)  Ah, good day to you. CABBIE (to his horse, shaking the reins at it): Walk on. (The cab sets off again.  The news vendor calls after it.) NEWS VENDOR: Merry Christmas, Mr Holmes!

The Blue Carbuncle. This is interesting, because that case isn’t on 21st century John’s blog. According to John, it wasn’t a case interesting enough for Sherlock to take on, and they go through a series of comments about Bond films and cat videos. The other option is The Adventure of the Mazarin Stone. 

The Adventure of the Mazarin Stone was one of two instances where the original canon story was written in third person. It was based on a play, and Watson was barely in it. The other story was His Last Bow (HLB). The action in TAotMS all takes places in one room, rather similar to the beginning of TAB. The plot twist comes that the play has been what Holmes has overheard of a conversation between two criminals. Now, apply this idea to the one that Sherlock is still unconscious in hospital, but capable of overhearing and processing what is heard around him. It echoes Sherlock’s comment in TAB about his MP being able to do things more than what Mycroft knows, and Mycroft agrees.

Be sure to read @jenna221b meta about how the cases are twins, and fixes are being added in as well as Sherlock S4 as Epic Theatre.

In Terror By Night, which we know Mofftiss used in MHR, includes aspects from TAofMS. In Granada adaptations, this case was merged with The Three Garridebs, which were practically absent in S4 of Sherlock.

Mofftiss would have us believe all we got was the three men hanging around at the mercy of Eurus, but I’ve been working with the idea that Moffttis is re-enacting the post Reichenbach behavior of Holmes and Watson from Granada. Hardwicke replaced Burke after TFP (comparable to Sherlock TRF), and Johnlock wasn’t the same afterward. It takes several episodes before it returns to the warm, close physical proximity, flirtatious pairing we see before Holmes “dies” and Burke was replaced.

Interestingly, the cases that do show it, are the ones where Mofftiss borrowed the most from Granada. Granada The Devil’s Foot, Sherlock S4 Imagery, and Moriarty or Mortimer & A Little Glimpse Into Granada’s ‘Eligible Bachelor’ by @ebaeschnbliah (Also interesting that we posted these meta within hours of one another, without having talked about the influence factor at all.) As you can tell from the second meta, Eurus had an obvious reference in EB (although The Musgrave Ritual--which is used in Sherlock TFP), also gave a visual hint via Rachel, the one that allowed a man to die down a hole, and it showed the coming revival of Johnlock closeness--although it wouldn’t happen until TDF. If you don’t think that’s important, remember that Moffttiss said TD12 as a name only happened, because the name they wanted to use was taken. While writing this, I found a similar meta to mine about TDF by @devoursjohnlock Maybe I am helping connect dots...

From this meta by @may-shepard we see that Doyle’s story The Parasite, coincides with S4, and the also the dates from the story fill in the missing dates on John’s blog.

At the end of TLD, John and Lestrade are discussing the morgue incident. They specifically mention HLV (HLB in canon). It seems like they are wrapping up those loose ends Sherlock doesn’t like to have on his watch, but he’s been in hospital, even though according to what Sherlock and Mycroft know from T6T--the loose ends from HLV are already edited and he’s free of that.

According to TAB, all the modern elements we know of from Sherlock, are all lunatic fantasy...or metaphorical flights of fancy...Holmes theorizes it could come to pass, but only after the echo of the idea of having proper murders. Moffttis was adamant that Mary had to die, because that’s how it was in the stories, but it isn’t. We’re never told what happened to Mary.

TAB

Shortly afterwards, the car pulls away and drives off along the tarmac.  As the scene fades out, the familiar ‘Pursuit’ music starts ... and almost immediately grinds to a halt. The screen remains dark for a moment and then ... WATSON (offscreen): Flying machines; these, er, telephone contraptions ... (The screen fades up to reveal Holmes and Watson sitting in their armchairs in the sitting room of 221B.  Each of them is smoking a pipe.) WATSON: What sort of lunatic fantasy is that? HOLMES: It was simply my conjecture of what a future world might look like, and how you and I might fit inside it. (Watson nods.) HOLMES: From a drop of water, a logician should be able to infer the possibility of an Atlantic or a Niagara. WATSON: Or a Reichenbach. HOLMES: Have you written up your account of the case? WATSON: Yes. HOLMES: Hmm.  Modified to put it down as one of my rare failures, of course? WATSON: Of course. (Holmes looks thoughtful for a moment.) HOLMES: “The Adventure of ... the Invisible Army.” (Watson looks upwards, considering it.) HOLMES: “The League of Furies”?  (He leans forward, smiling.) “The Monstrous Regiment.” WATSON: I rather thought ... “The Abominable Bride.” HOLMES (sitting back): A trifle lurid. WATSON: It’ll sell.  It’s got proper murders in it, too. HOLMES (pointing his pipe at him): You’re the expert. WATSON: As for your own tale, are you sure it’s still just a seven percent solution that you take?  I think you may have increased the dosage. HOLMES: Perhaps I was being a little fanciful ... (He looks down thoughtfully.) HOLMES: ... but perhaps such things could come to pass. (He stands up.) HOLMES: In any case, I know I would be very much at home in such a world. (Watson chuckles as Holmes walks across the room towards the right-hand window.) WATSON: Don’t think I would be. HOLMES: I beg to differ. (He looks out of the window.) HOLMES: But then I’ve always known I was a man out of his time. (He puts his pipe in his mouth and continues to look out of the window.  The ‘Pursuit’ theme starts again, this time with a Victorian twist to it, as the camera slowly pulls back.  Down in the street below, customers are going into SPEEDY’S Sandwich Bar & Cafe while more people – all dressed in modern-day clothing – walk past, and the road is busy with cars. A black cab passes a number 11 bus – destination Baker Street – as they drive past 221B ... ... where it is always 1895.) 

Transcript ( x )

So, if you’re going through the list of cases (as one of the players), you don’t always have to be present or in the physical framed shots of the events in order to do so. Remember how John was disappearing in shots from T6T, when Lestrade and Hopkins were present, and how Sherlock was working with multiple investigators regularly--not just Lestrade? It happened against in TFP, while Sherlock is trying to negotiate in Sherrinford with Eurus.

This is more in keeping with ACD and Granada, because Lestrade wasn’t the lead on all the cases. That he should be in most of Sherlock S1-3 made no real sense, so this is someone trying to cover their bases and possibly justify John’s continued existence in Sherlock’s life, through the filter of something other than being a couple. It still works though if you’re John, Lestrade, Mycroft or even unconscious or tranced Sherlock trying to show why John’s place by his side is vital--without giving away the romantic element (because to Sherlock, the romantic part is a mystery--he’s been unconscious since S2 or HLV).

[eyeofthewolfe]

Evil Zane Chapter 5

As the team struggles to find a way to save Zane, Zane and his new ally begin to prepare for their own devious plot. 

Prologue and Chapter 1: here

Chapter 2: here

Chapter 3: here

Chapter 4: here

Chapter 5

 Nya may have steered the ship a tad off course. But it was for a good purpose.

She pulled a lever back to decrease the speed of the ship and pressed a few buttons to activate autopilot on a straight course. Checking the clock next to her, she stepped back and watched the horizon.

As if on cue, a ray of light spewed across the rocky terrain dead ahead of the ship’s course. The sky slowly morphed into a vibrant pastel palette. Pinks and orange merged into purples and blues and the light spilled delicately across the landscape. Nya smiled warmly, as if the sun was opening a new possibility for the day, bringing hope to Ninjago. For a second, she felt like there was nothing wrong in her world.

The moment shattered instantly.

The intercom in the Bounty exploded with Kai screaming for help. Yells from the brig broke the beautiful silence and tremors of multiple heavy footsteps shook the deck. Nya dashed to the intercom and slammed the respond button for the brig. “Kai! What happened?”

“The bird!!” Her brother’s static voice yelled back. “The stupid bird broke the criminals out!”

“What bird?” Nya shouted, but looked up just as a dozen large men exploded from the stairs leading out of the brig. “Kai, take the back, I’m in front! Let’s get some cover and play home advantage!”

“Sounds good.” He responded. “But we need to deal with-“ Kai was interrupted by a flatline.

“You’ve got to be joking,” Nya mumbled as she pulled up her hood. She dashed out of the bridge, flipped off of the railing and landed in front of the men. “We seem to be experiencing some technical difficulties,” Nya snapped. “If you could kindly return to the brig and wait until we solve the problem.”

A criminal with a beard started an uproar of laughter. “You wish, darling!” He grinned. “But I don’t take orders from any girl.”

Anger boiled in Nya’s gut. “You’ll learn soon enough to take orders from this girl,” she sneered and lifted her fists. The mob of men charged.

Nya sprayed water in front of her, causing six of the men to slip and fall hard. She flipped in the air and used the bearded man as a spring-board to catapult herself next to Kai’s side.

“Aw, did he hurt your feelings?” Kai mocked, part of his arm steaming from some hole blasted through his suit.

Nya glared at her brother playfully. “No, I think he was referring to you,” she shot back, and Kai frowned as he pulled up his hood. “Alright, let’s get some cover!” She commanded as they both shot their element towards the giant mob.

The fire and the water combined into a loud hiss as white smoke filled the deck. The men began coughing and stumbling around, suddenly blinded. Nya and Kai jumped into action.

Every punch and kick they made slowly weakened the mob. The smoke disoriented the crew, but Nya and Kai were so familiar with the deck after years of training that they knew where ever bump and deformity lurked. When the smoke cleared, all the men were groaning and squirming on the ground. Nya and Kai high-fived.

Nya pointed at the hole in Kai’s suit. “It looks like that bird somehow got a piece of your suit, Kai.” Nya smiled as she kicked one of the men in the shoulder when he moved to get up.

Kai instantly tensed up, his eyes scanning the sky with fear. “Whoa, Kai,” Nya said with alarm. “What are you worried about?”

“It’s Zane’s bird,” Kai whispered. “It attacked me with laser beams coming out of its beak!” He exclaimed on edge. “It freed these guys!”

Nya glanced around. “Well, it looked like it flew away. C’mon Kai, let’s get these animals back in their cage.”

 __________________________________________________________ 

The Mechanic typed a few more things out on the main computer before turning to the robot. “The cloaking mechanism is operational. Our little birdie is successfully hidden from the ninja.”

Zane eyed the screen, where he watched the live feed from the invisible bird show the two ninja slowly escorting the defeated criminals back to the brig. “Good. Keep me updated on their next move. I want to know what they are up to.” The mechanic nodded as a bell rang in the factory. “That sounds like good news,” The cyborg grinned as he ran over to giant machine. “Sire, I believe your protective armor is complete.”

Zane smiled as the Mechanic lifted the giant piece of armor. Black sleek metal combined with red glowing lines outlined the front and back. The shoulder pads were heavy and equipped for protection and battle. A giant red glowing circle decorated the front middle.  Zane took it and slid it over his head and it comfortably fitted onto his body.

“And your headset, sir,” the crook added as he handed him a small device that wrapped around his left ear. Zane equipped it and pressed the side button. A blue protective screen activated in front of his eyes and a miniature microphone slid towards his mouth. Zane grinned.

“You exceeded my expectations, Mechanic,” he said, fingering the microphone. “How is Phase 1 of the primary project moving along?”

“Smoothly, sir.” He responded and directed the evil nindroid to the main portion of the factory, where the machines were alive and busy molding and cutting dark metal pieces. “The blueprints I made processed correctly so the finished product should be complete in a few hours.”

Zane frowned. “A few hours? That’s as fast as the factory can go?”

The Mechanic nodded, fixing his hat. “It’s quite an ambitious task with a ton of little quirks I’ll need to make by hand.” He lifted his mechanical arm as a joke.

Zane didn’t laugh. “I expect that done by the time the ninja have their next move planned. Or else that hand will be fixing itself.” Zane turned and walked off, leaving a cold chill in the Mechanic’s bones.

__________________________________________________________ 

Lloyd felt the ship slowly come to a stop. Thuds from multiple footsteps above the room meant that they had finally reached the prison and the crooks were on their way to being back behind bars. Groaning, he turned over in his bed and stared across the room where Jay was loudly snoring. Cole was also asleep, but he had earbuds in. Soft classical music could be heard under the snores, and Lloyd couldn’t sleep because of it.

He turned again on his bed and then found himself tracing Lil’ Nelson’s name for the 69th time on his cast. The letters were carefully scripted and large, but it oddly stood out to the green ninja. Lloyd could clearly remember when his handwriting looked like that, mainly because it was like that up until about a year or so when his physical body aged 8 years in 8 seconds. He had to spend a few hours writing words to get used to his new handwriting.

His finger delicately traced the “L”. Nelson was how old, seven? Eight? He was about Lloyd’s age when his childhood was taken. But Nelson was going to live it out, enjoy his young days before they are over-unlike the kid’s idol.

Lloyd didn’t know why his eyes were suddenly burning with tears. He’s accepted his job as a leader for so long, but now he was wondering the what if’s of his life. What if he never aged that fast? Would the final battle have been the same? Would he look at his job as a leader differently? Would he be a better leader if he hadn’t of used the tea all those years ago in the comic book store?

Cringing, Lloyd pushed those thoughts out of his head and stuffed his casts under his sheets. For a second it was peaceful, until Jay snorted in his sleep. “Dear FSM,” Lloyd groaned as he stuffed his pillow over his ears.

 _________________________________________________________

 After locking the men back up at Kryptarium, Kai and Nya steered the Bounty back to the high skies. Kai sheltered his eyes and glanced at the sky. “The sun is almost at high noon. We should probably figure out what we are going to do next. Zane may strike soon along with his little pet bird.” Kai remarked.

Nya rubbed her arm, and Kai instantly recognized it as her unconscious habit of showing her uneasiness. “What’s wrong?” Kai instantly softened his tone.

Nya lifted her gaze and stared out into space. “Do you really think there is no way to save Zane?” She finally asked.

Kai looked out across the horizon as well, realizing the fact that what he had to say was exactly what Nya did not want to hear. “If PIXAL can’t find a solution, then yes, there will be no saving Zane.”

Even the sun felt cold as Kai watched his sister absorb the news. It was like a piece of her heart had been broken and lost forever. “I’m sorry Nya, but if the Overlord has taken over one of the most dangerous and deadly weapons known to Ninjago, then we need to stop him as fast as possible.”

“But I don’t get it,” Nya sighed as she sank into a chair on the deck. “The Overlord has taken over his code, but Zane is still calling himself Zane…that must mean that Zane is still in there but something went wrong. Maybe if we can reboot him with the same code as before the explosion….”

Kai sat down next to her. “That means that we need to capture Zane and hold him down long enough to reprogram him, given that we even know how to reprogram him. The software in his hard drive is encrypted with safeguards and firewalls that were put in place in order to protect himself from what ultimately didn’t work. We would have to bypass all of those, somehow erase and redownload the code, then reactivate Zane. But we won’t even know if that will work in the long run.”

Nya looked up at her brother with an eyebrow raised. “When did you become an expert on robotics?”

Kai shrugged. “When we switched from piloting and keeping watch, I may have had an in-depth conversation with Zane’s best girl.”

Nya grinned. “Alright, let’s blare the wake-up call.”

 __________________________________________________________

Within a few minutes, the team had regathered in the bridge for the third time that day. Lloyd, who looked like he didn’t get a second of sleep, called the team together. “Alright, this is the moment of truth. PIXAL, have you found anything that could save Zane?”

The team fell deadly silent as they all stared at the screen.

PIXAL lowered her gaze. “There is nothing in my logic parameters that would work in order to save Zane,” PIXAL answered, and the team sighed, defeated. Lloyd turned to speak, but was interrupted.

“However,” she said, and the team snapped back to the robot. “I did come to a more…irrational..thought..” The robot said delicately.

“Is that what robots call a crazy idea?” Jay whispered to Cole as he wiped his nose with a tissue. Cole snorted a laugh.

Misako stepped forward. “Anything will work, PIXAL.”

PIXAL waved her hand and blueprints appeared on the screen. “These are Zane’s original blueprints, recovered from the hidden tree bunker where he was built. The blueprints lay out every physical feature that went into building his original design. Some aspects are more unclear than others, but sadly the only person who can answer those questions is Doctor Julien, who passed away years ago.”

“So how does that help us?” Wu asked.

“The blueprints recovered only specify the mechanics and hardware. Every piece that went into building him is marked on that sheet. However…” PIXAL remarked, but Nya suddenly understood where she was going.

“The software!” Nya cried out. “We have no information on his software! PIXAL- you’re a genius!”

The robot smiled. “I am here to assist.”

Nya turned to the team with a smile. “There’s only one place we can find more information on the original design of Zane’s software. It’s quite obvious where we are off to next!” she said.

The green ninja, with a small smile, asked, “Do we know where it is?”

“The location of the hidden tree bunker has been saved into the ship’s global positioning system by our own metal tin can,” Cole answered as he walked over to the map and pressed some buttons. Eventually, a blue dot appeared in the middle of the Birchwood forest. “Bingo.” Cole turned to the team with a smile. “Even after turning evil and defeating us all in the matter of minutes, Zane is still the real MVP.”

Lloyd began to bark orders and the ninja assumed positions. Wu and Misako turned to each other. “Do you think this will work?” She asked under her breath.

Wu pressed his lips together in deep thought. “Robotics…this is out of my comfort zone. For the first time in a while, I feel so old.”

Misako smiled, then quickly glanced around to make sure the ninja weren’t listening. “Speaking of time…” she whispered even softer.

Wu lifted his hand to clasp a golden pocket watch within his robes. “Don’t worry about them Misako. I will deal with them when the time comes. For now, we must worry about Zane.”

“You need to tell the ninja about-“

“No,” Wu said harshly as he eyed the ninja rushing around the bridge. “I can handle this on my own. There are things that I don’t-“ Wu stuttered as his eyes focused on Kai and Nya. “-that I can’t tell them.”

Misako nodded. “I understand, but you are playing a dangerous game.”

Wu nodded, and their discussion ended. The sensei turned to the team. “Ninja, we will need to search the tree home quickly so we can figure out what our next course of action will be. Lloyd, Nya, and Jay will go inside with me. Cole, Kai, and Misako will stay behind to keep watch.”

“Especially for Tree Horns!” Jay said.

“Tree what?” said Lloyd, a look of alarm crossing his face.

“Oooh right, you were captured during that mission,” Jay said, then sneezed. “Huge creatures, long legs that look like trees, basically unstoppable unless you freeze the queen.”

“Do what?” Lloyd gasped, his alarm turned to fear.

The ninja laughed, and for a second, it seemed like all was right in the world. But while they were laughing, they all missed the shift of invisible movement in the corner of the room and the tiny breeze as something flew away.

 ___________________________________________________________

The screen in the factory went dead after the falcon switched off its feed from inside the bridge, hidden completely with its new cloaking device. The Mechanic took off his headset and dashed to Zane.

“Master, the ninja have a plan!” He said. “They are going to a secret tree bunker somewhere in the Birchwood forest! I’m sure I can rewind the feed from the titanium bird to see where on the map it was located-“

The evil robot silenced the man with a wave of his hand. “Nonsense, I know exactly where that is. I will meet the ninja there and slow them down long enough to let you get started on phase 2. Which reminds me,” Zane droned. “Is Phase 1 completed?”

The Mechanic grinned. “She’s a beauty. The last few pieces are being attached now. She will be ready to use in the matter of seconds.”

“Excellent work,” Zane said and drifted off to the center of the factory. “Is it all operational?”

“Yes sir, top of the line- even some futuristic equipment- all ready at your fingertips.”

Zane smiled. “You will be rewarded greatly, Mechanic.” He said as he stopped in front of the machine. “And you are right, she is a beauty.”

The bell rang again through the factory signaling the completion of another project as the machines pulled away from its new creation. Zane reached up to his ear and activated his new screen. It instantly linked with the new giant piece of equipment. Zane smiled, then activated his new ride.

[originaldetectivesheep]

A Life of Riley Part 4: The Dumptrucks of the Gods ch 6

Chapter 5

VI

For a space that'd had a metal bucket taped to a thermonuclear explosion drive itself up through the roof, then down again through the mangled beams and rebar, the Applied Physics lab wasn't in half bad shape.  Most of the machine tools hadn't been hit hard enough by anything to be crushed, the gas tanks and the other welding supplies had miraculously gotten saved when an I-beam smashed only most of the way through the isolation fridge, and though nearly all of the capacitors had ruptured at some point, they hadn't melted down, so the lab was only ankle-deep in motor oil when we got back, not on fire and poisoned with burning copper.  It was a big job cleaning up and it would be a long time before we could replace all our equipment – predictably, everything electronic not inside the Raging Potato had shorted itself out when we fired all the capacitors at once to start the engine – but even putting the roof back together was something to do as a project, and there's always interesting physics you can do just on a workbench.

And that's what we were left with: the Potato's subsystems worked, and we scavenged them out to refit the lab as soon as we got all the oil off the floor, but the engine was completely dysfunctional, having given its last to get us all the way back down – or sometime after that, when we shut it down and crossed our fingers that it wouldn't explosively lose containment.  Of course, it was a miracle that it had worked at all: a crazy experimental design left in the jungle for sixty years, it had every right to stop working after its one trial.  Well, that's what we thought at first – when we found out that Riley had refilled the fuel reservoirs by hand to replace the decayed tritium and lithium deuteride with newer stocks gathered from…we were afraid to ask, we all considered it a miracle that it hadn't just blown up the entire campus instead.  Either way, there was no spare power to kick on with the graviton-detection test that Riley was still dreaming about, and there weren't enough reliably-functioning parts for the quantum dislocator even if we could put enough energy through it to shift state.  It was enough.  It was coming down to the end of the term, and I had enough to do with finishing my labs, finals, and non-Riley research work.  One big, excessively dangerous, near-impossible physics project per semester was just about enough.

"Jeez, was it even though," Riley said reflectively, tapping a wrench on the side of the Ceiba housing, essentially all that remained of the Potato, then pulling down to lift the bucket full of extra leads and flux up to where Leo was welding the ceiling back into place.  "I mean, even for this lab, that shit was wild.  Did we really do that? Did we really go to space and beat the crap out of a bunch of aliens, then bust on their game and half blow their ship in pieces?  It seems so friggin mental and even if we did it, I was half out of my gourd on Melanie's fish tequila and I've got huge chunks of just blackout in what I can remember."

"Oh, we did it," Sajitha said from over at her workbench, tweaking something connected to one of the microwave dishes.  "We got the hole in the roof from it, for one, and Remy got a scalp infection from that blood gunk that he had to shave off all of his hair for – I'm still mad about that.  And then there was the part where Yuping lost his shirt and his coveralls in the fish flood, and Carolína got stopped driving us home because some rentacop saw him shirtless and thought he was a teenage prostitute that had gotten trafficked in as part of a fake Korean boy-band.  We definitely went to orbit and beat the shit out of a bunch of aliens, because there is no other possible explanation for all this crap that is somehow less weird."  She shook her head and leaned over to fiddle with something on her laptop.

Riley nodded, backing away and looking carefully down at the floor as Leo lit his torch and started to spray sparks down from where he was attaching one of our former containment panels to the roof beams. "Yeah, I get it; it just seems so friggin out there, though – like something out of one of those bullshit wannabe novels all those weepy arts students are killing themselves to write this time of year.  You know about that?  I was on the bus minding my own business, like you do, and one of them is reading her shit out to another sad-sack buddy, for serious like a sex scene where one of the dudes was doing one of the other dudes with actions that were like 'assiduously' or 'adroitly' and I'm sitting there like are those even words?  And she to her credit was having like an existential panic attack about how bad it was, but the guy with her was like no, no, write through, keep going, finish it, it'll all get fixed in edit.  Edit.  You're shitting me.  What editor on earth isn't just going to throw that out the window?  Friggin kids."  I didn't know, and I didn't have much of a response to that, and it seemed like Riley was just venting rhetorically anyway, so I took an earbud off the top of my ear and put the right side of my brain, at least, back out to sea with Primordial, keeping the other one open in case something important happened here in the lab.

"At least the grinckles are gone," Riley said, slumping down in a chair by the parts bin to pick through for the start of another jigsaw-puzzle roof-panel replacement assembly.  "At least I have Wilson off my back, and you guys aren't getting stopped by weirdo paramilitaries doing fish genocide, and the dining halls almost don't stink like rutabagas baked on a trash fire any more.  At least there's that."

"Yeah, there's that, and you can definitely tell who came here straight from China now, because they've all lost ten pounds in three weeks and stand nine deep at the back of any talk there's a rumor there might be food at," Sajitha said, her fingers flying over her keyboard. "It's not all good news; I'm not crazy about the grinckles either, but if I knew that it was going to be that they were completely wiped out, I might have said something on the ship – tried to do something different."

"It is not our goddamned job," Riley said back, idly waving a wrench through the air, "to manage a sustainable fishery for an invasive species from another friggin planet, nor to fund an allegedly public university to the point that students do not need to go around dragging said invasive ET fish out of puddles to keep from starving to death.  We are a physics lab – we have a lot of other skills, and maybe because of that we do keep getting dragged into solving everyone else's godawful stupid problems, but sometimes, it's okay to at least try to stay in our lane and make literally everything our deal."  Riley looked up, and back over in my direction.

"Oh, yeah, on skills; Yuping, that punch you threw on that punk there was sick.  I thought you never learned, but that looked like legit XiaoLin from where I was standing.  What school did you do?  Wu xia?  Wing chung?"

"Kǎo yā," I said, shifting the plotter paper I was drawing out the circuit on so that I could hold it on the workbench with one hand.  "School is Kǎo Yā Bù Huì Zuò Gōng Fū." I put up my right hand to give Riley the finger, not looking up from the circuit plot.

"'Roast duck', right," Riley said, properly ashamed at least.  "I got it – the official martial arts school of the lab, where the only technique is 'hit'em hard while they're not looking'.  I'm sorry; that was over the line, and I shouldn't've gone there.  My bad."  I nodded and pulled my hand back.  On the other hand, that the lab was short on big challenging projects meant that Riley got more bored more easily and asked more dumb too-personal questions.  If this was how it was going to be, maybe I did want something else to happen sooner rather than later.

"Afternoon!" Carolína said, coming through the door, knocking on the side of the frame mostly out of habit; there weren't enough high-energy power supplies around the lab right now to make the drop bars worth paying attention to.  "How is everybody doing?  Leo, are you okay up there?  It looks like you got that last open square covered, so can I have my tarp back?" She set her bag down on her bench across from Sajitha and pulled out her laptop, not really expecting an immediate reply.

"Actually, that reminds me," Sajitha said, looking up from her work.  "Do you know what happened to the camp chair I had in the front closet? I was thinking of bringing it in here so that I don't have to sit on this bucket stool any more, but I couldn't find it.  Did you already bring it up?  I don't mind, but I just want to know where it is."

"No," Carolína said, shaking her head as her screen booted.  "I don' like my stool either, so I was thinking of ordering one of those, but I was waiting for my next check to clear.  I didn't know you had one in the closet – did you ask the guys?"

"I did," Sajitha said, her forehead wrinkling.  "I asked Remy, and he texted Leo about it because I wasn't sure if it'd get weird like I was accusing him of stealing my chair when he's always hung off his strap to the ceiling in here, but he hadn't heard of it, and Remy totally forgot that I even had that chair.  I wonder what happened – it's not like a camp chair's just going to disappear."

"You're still in your place, right?" Riley asked, strangely deadpan, cutting into the conversation.

"Yes, but I don't know what – oh no."  Sajitha realized the meaning and covered her mouth with her hand, her eyes wide.  "That's right – the demon – now that the grinckles are gone –"

"Our contract is bust, and it's back to eating your furniture," Riley continued, standing up. "Save your work, call your boyfriend, pile up all our functioning electronics.  Leo, get the hell off the ceiling and start cutting up the Ceiba to see what we can cannibalize out of it for parts.  Carolína, if you don't have your machete and your grappling hook, go the hell home and get them before they get eaten.  And Yuping, get over here and bust out all our old paper circuit diagrams, then start downloading the drawing repository into whatever spare PC we've gotten working yet.  I'll do something about power supplies, and see if I can't work up another dozen cannon rounds or actually find someone who knows how to wreck this guy's shit.  You all, you all start building – we've got to get a new dislocator built, up, running, and rated for GeV-range throughputs before the end of the week, or half the lab is going to be in the shit with their realtor again.  Move!"

I unplugged the bud from my right ear and left the headphones down next to my phone with a sigh.  Sajitha was on the phone to Remy and Carolína was on the way out the door and Leo was rappelling down off the ceiling at the Ceiba, welding torch strapped across his chest, and Riley was tearing a desk like in half, spewing parts and pencils all over the floor, and we'd just gotten committed in an instant to something unfathomably strange, but in a way this felt more like the Applied Physics lab than it had felt like in here in a while.  One way or another, no matter what the problem was or how little sense it made, this was Riley; this was our lab.  It was always something.  There was always something.  I rolled up my half-done drawing and grabbed for my pliers and a soldering iron: time to get back to work.

go back and get the ebook if you want the bonus story

[junker-town]

THIS WEEK IN SCHADENFREUDE, Tennessee and LSU have both reached the “GoFundMe to pay the coach’s buyout” stage of the season

Your weekly search of the college football internet’s strongest reactions centers on two SEC fan bases.

There is losing.

There is losing to your rival.

There is losing to your rival 41-0.

There is losing to your rival 41-0 at home.

Then there is losing to your rival 41-0 at home one week after almost losing at home to UMass, two weeks after losing because you didn’t have enough defensive backs on the field, and all in front of your fans who call for your coach’s firing even during victories.

The 2017 Tennessee Volunteers, everybody!

Let’s see how some Vols fans across the internet responded to the loss.

We start our travels at the VolNation.com message boards.

Mere weeks ago, some thought athletic director John Currie had hatched a plot to relieve Butch Jones of his duties and replace him with ex-coach Phillip Fulmer. There’s still a fear (or a hope?) that Fulmer, now 67 and an AD assistant will return:

VolNation.com

Someone’s got a more practical idea, obviously:

Do whatever it takes to get Gruden !!!! This was embarrassing

We have to much talent to be losing this badly ... especially at home

Jon Gruden’s turned down the Tennessee job at least three times since 2008.

I agree. Whether it is Gruden or Chip Kelly, or Bobby Petrino, or Mike Leach...take a blank check and make them say no.

I'd still love to see Gruden here. He's clearly a smart coach, great offensive mind, great QB mind. He relates with kids as he has shown on his QB camp shows. I have to imagine he'd be a great recruiter, the question is whether he'd put in the time? He has connections to build a great staff. He wouldn't coach scared. The booth is always there for him to return to.

Why not make a run at him?

Another poster wants to hire the 32-year-old head coach at FCS Austin Peay, which recently snapped a 29-game losing streak:

Bring in Will Healy

Smart young coach on a roll. What could go wrong??

Someone started a thread that was designed purely as a repository for Tennessee fans’ freshest Butch Jones jokes. The original post:

Well, this game is awful. I would usually be ticked off and screaming at the television. Unfortunately, apathy is beginning to set in. In the midst of my boredom, I've created a list of bad Butch Jones jokes. Feel free to add to this list or burn me at the stake.

Butch Jones should be a spokesperson for a vacuum company... He sucks!

Butch Jones likes the yellow starbursts

Butch Jones' mom is disappointed in him and doesn't think he's handsome

Butch Jones pees sitting down

Butch Jones knits blankets for Christmas gifts

Butch Jones drives a Toyota Tercel

Butch Jones vacations in Muncy, Indiana.

Butch Jones thinks the band is underappreciated

Butch Jones wrote the book, Football for Dummies.

Butch Jones owns one book, Football for Dummies.

Butch Jones can't read or write

Butch Jones flies kites every afternoon

Butch Jones thinks the word infallible means sucks

Some of my favorite reader submissions:

“Butch Jones skis in jeans.”

“Butch Jones has a Blockbuster card.”

Someone else proposes everyone go to the next home game dressed in protest gear.

I think fans going to the games should wear black to show their displeasure in Butch and continue to wear black until he is fired. You can still support the team and wear the gear but seeing a stadium that is normally full of orange blacked out sends a loud and clear message.

Let’s stroll on over to Twitter just see what we find, shall we?

This is an idea of how many people have changed their Twitter names — not just tweeted, mind you, but actually changed their names — to FIRE BUTCH JONES:

(This may not be an exhaustive list.)

In Nashville, the trending topics right after the game:

This is a bit of a “choose your own adventure” game, but I’m going down the “Neyland Stadium” rabbit hole first.

A note for the athletic director from Pastor James:

@John_Currie 2nd year coach & freshman QB 4️⃣1️⃣ points #GA 5 year coach and junior qb 0️⃣points #UT & at Neyland Stadium #vols http://pic.twitter.com/CbCfKQKHcM

— Pastor James Chessor (@JamesChessor) September 30, 2017

Separately, one gentleman had a proposal:

I will post nudes on twitter if Butch Jones is fired this weekend.

— Owen Hill (@owenahill) October 1, 2017

Let’s just camp in Butch Jones’ mentions for a minute.

Well I never thought it could happen @UTCoachJones you have broken my husband

— DAT Way (@cable18) September 30, 2017

Fuck Butch Jones. Fuck this ‘excuses’ program he has sold our fan base. Fuck you and your trash ‘ecosystem’ that you push. @UTCoachJones

— Digital Dad (@DigitalDad23) September 30, 2017

Last week, Jones went on a weird rant directed at local media. Therefore:

@UTCoachJones god damn media

— RK Anderson (@RK_Anderson6) September 30, 2017

Shame on the Knoxville media if you can’t find the countless positives in the most lopsided home loss in 94 years. #Vols @utcoachjones

— G (@GFunk_Error) September 30, 2017

@UTCoachJones will bobby Petrino replace you?

— Bones (@mike_the_dick) September 30, 2017

@UTCoachJones i will fight u sir

— pey (@PeytonnBlairr) September 30, 2017

Fire HIM NOW, FULMER for Intern @UTCoachJones

— Caleb Salyers (@crazyreb12) September 30, 2017

Let’s make a super brief stop at UT’s 247Sports board.

Even Vol Nation’s children apparently offer no mercy.

My daughter just came up to me

And said that Tennessee is trash. I couldn't disagree.

And also at the school’s Scout board.

When is butch getting fired i denounce him as coach

Im not watching another game until he is gone period

Once you’ve been denounced, there’s no way back.

These aren’t even from the internet, but you should see them.

Here is a VOL BRAWL that happened in the stands:

Lets check in on the Vols http://pic.twitter.com/FTOKhgMnP8

— SEC Country (@SECcountry) September 30, 2017

Here are some extremely loud second-quarter boos:

More fun stuff here:

http://pic.twitter.com/uGYbp1hqvs

— Gray Hardison (@BellyoftheBeast) September 30, 2017

And here:

Thanks for helping me make sports illustrated for the wrong reasons @UTCoachJones https://t.co/IeJP7ZIYHS

— Quillen B (@ChillinBlack) October 1, 2017

And here:

And here:

Here:

Here:

And definitely here:

Tennessee fans had fled the premises by the end.

Last snap, 41-0 final. http://pic.twitter.com/UP7jGAH5HJ

— Joe Rexrode (@joerexrode) September 30, 2017

Back to the internet: a brief Q&A to take us home.

Did anyone propose hiring Les Miles yet?

Yes.

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Fire Butch Hire Les Problem solved

Posted by Brad Boles on Saturday, September 30, 2017

Did anyone start a GoFundMe yet to pay Jones’ buyout?

Also yes.

Are people actually going to spend money on that?

It’s possible.

Has anyone called for failed Michigan head coach Brady Hoke, UT’s DL coach, to take over? Via a Rocky Top Talk commenter:

Fire him now. Promote Hoak to interim HC, and start the search.

Has anyone suggested the Vols hire FAU coach Lane Kiffin, the man who once left them in the middle of the night to take the head coaching job at USC and has now found himself running a middling Conference USA team at 42?

Hey @Lane_Kiffin after your games over you think you could head on to Knoxville to take over for Butch or naw? #firebutch

— Scott (@msallen22) October 1, 2017

Hey @Lane_Kiffin there is a job opening up on rocky top. You interested?

— DAT Way (@cable18) October 1, 2017

At this point, I’ll take Lane Kiffin back please. #VolTwitter

— Josh C (@ViperTheShowOff) October 1, 2017

Are these people kidding?

Quite possibly. But when things are this dark, never assume someone’s joking.

Also, LSU lost to Troy.

There is losing.

There is losing at home.

There is losing at home to a team from the Sun Belt.

And there is losing at home to a team from the Sun Belt in the fifth game of your new head coach’s five-year contract, which carries a $12 million buyout.

We now visit with some Tigers fans to take their temperature.

First things first: Yes, there’s also a GoFundMe to buy out Ed Orgeron.

On Sunday evening at 6 p.m. ET, it had raised a fraction of a fraction of a percentage point of the money that’d be needed to pay Orgeron’s walking-away money.

At TigerDroppings.com, posters are plotting AD Joe Alleva’s demise.

In these sharply political times, grassroots activism is more important than ever. Whether you’re fighting for affordable healthcare or trying to get your school to fire its athletic director after a bad loss, real change happens on the ground.

Email addresses if you're interested in taking action

Michigan fans rallied (Fire Dave Brandon Rally) and got their AD ousted. Nebraska fired their AD within days of losing to Northern Illinois earlier this season (Nebraska ousts AD after embarassing loss).

Why can't we as a fanbase get Alleva and F.Kingremoved? It's well-documented that termination of both is completely warranted and way past overdue. These two gentleman have single-handedly made LSU a national laughing-stock. This is a $150 million per year organization and there must be accountability.

Things you can do to help: -Stop auto contribution to TAF today or Monday (I recommend email stopping contributions with CC to board members below) -Email the board as much as your time allows -Do not attend upcoming home games -Do not buy another piece of LSU merchandise -Talk to your powerful friends and legislators and put the BOS on notice -Keep pressure on the media to ask the tough questions and demand accountability for this $150 million per year revenue organization that is LSU athletics -If you know the governor, tell him his job is on the line too and he better stay out of our way -If you know the LSU BOS members, put them on notice that investigations of ethical violations and conflicts of interest are coming on them as individuals

Another way to get the regime out, per one poster: Have one of Louisiana’s smaller schools step in for the good of LSU.

Time for a state school to help LSU out

Get one of them like ULL or Nicholls to offer him the AD and head coaching job and strongly encourage him to accept it. Give whichever school hires him whatever they want. LSU can agree to play at their stadium for a few years.

Of course this is after Alleva is fired.

Infighting’s rampant on message boards, especially after a brutal loss.

This is a thing that happens. It’s also the time to delineate who’s a TRUE FAN and who’s not.

Check in here if you're a true fan

These are the times where people truly prove their fan-hood. I'm very upset and angry right now, but I'll never leave my Tigers. Check in if you'll be here during these dark days.

I bring that up just to share the first reply:

Just here for the downvote

At And the Valley Shook!, the discourse was largely reasonable. This comment is important to note ...

At least Florida had the foresight to schedule us for their homecoming

... because it came in response to this:

Hey @LSU, thanks for having us down for homecoming! We really enjoyed it!

— Troy University (@TROYUnews) October 1, 2017

The folks at R/LSUFootball had good sense of humor about all of this.

Someone brought up the plight of fans of another Louisianan football program: the South Central Louisiana State University Mud Dogs, from The Waterboy.

How I felt before drinking my sorrows away

Here is the problem for LSU: It doesn’t have Bobby Boucher.

Also, someone posted this:

One person did start a thread simply titled, “Calm the fuck down.”

This is college football, and that’s never going to happen.