#but i think it’s worthy of its own post

[gordon-freeman-phd]

one thing that i dont think people aknowledge enoigh about barneys role as a spy when it comes to his generalize relations with other rebels and regular citizens is the very real chance that some people, even after knowing his reasons for joining up with the cps, are going to dislike him on the basis that he could not retain his role within them without participating in the cruel and unjust actions required by definition

like, he would have had to torture citizens and interrogate them, wr all saw the chair in his "office" even if he didnt participate directly he would have had to allow it regardless to keep his cover, and if he ever had a posting outaide the trainstation? he possibly would have had to co duct raids, and even if he didnt, many people are going to have had more experience at the hads of cps during raids than what barney would be doing at the trainstation,

because really, as we all hopefully know with regards to real cops, there is no good cop, you are either a good cop in that you do your job thereby participating in the inherantly cruel system made to target certain groups of people and the culture that ensures it will always be that way, or allowing it at the very least, making you a bad person in the long run, or a good person who tries to stop that system and therefore a bad cop who ends up bullied or killed at the extreme by other cops to protect thwir own, and the cps are the very extreme of what the militarized body of cops are in the world now are, protecring a fascist status quo, meaning that barney had to conform publiccaly within their ranks for his own safety so he can do his job as a spy

and while spying is a worthy cause to save lives of rebels and to relay important information, it does not erase the harm he has to do or enable directly day to day, and while plenty of people dive into how that effects barneys own psyche, theres less so an interrogation of how it effects others views on him, from unrelated rebels who may not have known him before the uorising to citizens who chose the rebels side, to even the people closest to barney, meaning kleiner, eli, alyx, and gordon,

this is even before we get into how many people know of barneys spy status, i know personally i believe he had to let other rebels believe he was a turn coat for thier and his own safety and cover, something like that doesnt go away easy even when you find out after that he was on your side all along becuz youre going to know that he had to perform to standard anyways, the distrust i imagine is much more when you didnt even know him before and now you have a man in cp garb saying hes on your side in the middle of chaos

and of course, the itch in the back of the main gangs brains, knowing what hes up to when hes not around, seeing a new blood stain on his unigorm if he doesnt have the time to take it off before making his way over, not recognizi g him since you inly see a uniform in the cirner of your eye and panicking begore you realize its only barney but the uneasiness doesnt go away even after he changes becuase you know, maybe more than anyone else except him what hes doing when you arent around, even if you KNOW hes on your side, that hes your friend who may even have known you for most of your life in alyxs case, like, even if you know its for the greater good, the smell of boot shine and blood badly masked by lemon scented cleaning agent sticking to the back of your throat as it wafts off one so close to you is hard to ignore

[secretagentsagainstwhatever]

so you’ve all been pirating Percy Jackson right…right ?

[freshsheadphones]

Just a little drawing experiment I did! Probably not gonna stick with this art style but I wanted to post it anyways ! (Please re blog !! Thank you :)

[a-sketchy]

p4d yu’s just literally so fucking nice to yosuke. he just genuinely likes him so much i can’t overstate it. i don’t think a single person in yosuke’s life likes him as much as yu does. maybe even half as much. which is… extremely sad but also really really funny.

like every time yosuke says or does literally anything, yu thinks “yosuke’s right” or “yosuke’s reaction is perfectly natural” or “yosuke really is skilled at this, it’s admirable” or “yosuke’s complaining, but it’s to be expected, he worked really hard” he just thinks really highly of him. and every time yosuke says something stupid then gets ganged up on yu’s just like ‘poor yosuke :(’

the contrast between how everyone else treats yosuke and how yu thinks of him is just soooo funny. yu’s loser boyfriend he hypes up every time he enters a room. except he doesn’t actually say much of that at all— just thinks it. so interesting

“as i approach yosuke to console him” literally the nicest person in yosuke’s life. ‘it’s okay yosuke. i understood your joke yosuke. i thought it was funny yosuke’. yu would like all yosuke’s flop posts and reply with “🔥🔥🔥‼️👍” every time

[popsicle-stick]

i have a post on trad folk wear in england brewing away in the drafts but i'm not strong enough to actually send it off into the world

[stairset]

The Starset narrative is a good example of a story that's not about gay sex but actually is about gay sex because if Aston and Stephen had just had gay sex back in 2012 then they would've been normal and Aston wouldn't have done All That and the future would've been saved. My evidence for this is instincts. I just know it in my gut.

[bunnihearted]

🦈2

[skunkes]

was abt to make a silly post about how at this point i barter with the universe for a bf like "please id take care of him and walk him and dress him up", like a child begging for a pet, and then i think abt how as much as i want an actual pet I don't think im fit to ever have one of those either

[uncanny-tranny]

I think abandoning diet culture and favouring the function of my body versus the ~aesthetic~ of my body has really opened my eyes and given me a new chance to be one with myself.

It is hard to get through this, but I honestly think it's worth the investment it takes to unlearn the idea that your body must serve others and must be out of the way, and must only take up so much space to be valued and for you to be loved.

[aroacettorney]

when will aup sidestories return from war and stop leaving me bitter about how the main story ended

[aishien-the-aishien]

A bit of the old men having their issues. Especially Sting because I love to hate him <3

A bit of context: Sting is incapable of experiencing positive emotions, due to a sort of a spell that rendered him "soulless" - I might elaborate on how spells, magic and souls work in this universe one day. However, as it turns out, while he can not enjoy spending time with a person or like/love them, he is very much able to feel sad about them or regret, oh, I don't know, hurting them, for example.

Vincent, on the other hand, found himself attached to Sting, even though he knew of his vile nature. This attachment is proving to be a problem as he realises Sting is not beyond harming him for his own benefit - but Vince is not really able to let go. Not yet.

"The world is yours. Are you happy now?"

[sorenlionheart]

i have to admit its kinda crazy being involved in fandoms again since the last time ive really been involved in a fandom was during my steven universe days

[mcdbutgay]

mcd aaron as a character frustrates me SO MUCH BC HES A GOOD CHARACTER IN THEORY BUT KNOWING HOW HE ENDS UP,,, WHAT HE ENDS UP BEING IS SO AHGHHH

i REALLY hate how they dumb down the characters in mystreet, like. i understand that mystreet is SUPPOSED to be a lihht hearted slice of life (at least, at the beginning. i don’t even wanna TOUCH myst s4-6) but REGARDLESS THE FACT THAT SO MANY CHARACTERS GET DUMBED DOWN IS SO FRUSTRATING BC THEYRE SO GOOD IN MCD.

katelyn, garroth, laurance, aaron,, aaron is especially frustrating bc i REALLY don’t like aarmau. i never have, and the fact that it essentially DOMINATES mcd/myst at a certain point is annoying. also the fact that he’s so mysterious and cryptic in mcd is SO COOL but then he only turns out to be some guy. GOD. i hate this stupid show.

then again i am only going off of what i remember, which is from when the episodes originally came out YEARS ago. i could toootally be wrong about a lot of stuff since im nowhere NEAR being done with mcd but still its nice to vent (currently on s2 ep24 as of me writing this)

[bookwyrminspiration]

How does your school work? You've mentioned a lot of interesting things about it, and now I'm really curious.

I'd be more than happy to explain! Though I can't promise to cover every interesting thing I've said because I've forgotten them all. It is a pretty cool situation that works out great for me, but if you have any questions--about my school, college in general, etc--I'd love to answer! (started over explaining, but hopefully it makes sense)

Essentially, it's a dual credit high school. I can't speak to how it works at other high schools, but my understanding is typically they might have a dual credit program where students can choose to participate in dual credit. The difference here is that my entire school is dedicated to that specific concept, built around it. Here, there is no option but to participate; it's why you go here.

Dual credit means that we're earning high school and college credit at the same time, so I've been taking college courses at an official community college since 9th grade. All of it is paid for my district, I don't have to pay for the college education.

The way it works, instead of electives (like spanish, drama, art, etc.) at a typical high-school, our electives are our college courses. These can be things like the normal electives, but they can also be things like philosophy, culinary classes, welding, etc. These classes count double, both towards the high school side of things and the college side of things--hence dual credit!

The only courses the high school offers itself are the basics, like math, english, history. They're condensed into semester long courses to match the college, and everything else is college. As you progress through any high school you need less core classes (e.g., I only had PE the first year, next year it was an open slot for an elective) and can take more electives, so your schedule also gets more free.

Right now, I'm a senior in high school, so I only have one class a day. This semester, I only had English, and next semester I'll only have Econ/Gov. I finished my math credits before 10th grade, and there's no more required science or history. So during the school year I go for an hour and a half (that's the length of one period), do my class, and then go home. (freshman have a full school day, and it gets less with each year).

The time you save you can put towards the college courses you're taking. A certain number are required each semester (with one high school class, 3 college are required. with 2 high school 2 college are required, etc.) so you count as a full student, but you can take more than that. If these classes are in person, then you'll attend them when they're held and do the work like any other homework. I've personally elected to take all my courses online because it's less draining for me, so I just go home and do my work.

My school is structured in such a way that the goal for all students entering is to graduate high school with a two year degree or a certificate, though that's not the limit. I've personally already earned several degrees.

It's also an incredibly small and close-knit school. You get in via a raffle, so you apply then they randomly select students to get in. There's about 60 kids in my grade level (if it was full there'd be 72), and almost all of us have been here since 9th grade so we're all familiar with each other. We've been taking classes together for four years. I will say that unless you're directly involved with student government or something, you won't know shit about the other grades. You only know your own because our schedules don't let us mix. And since it's so small, the teachers all know us pretty well. It's a lax and friendly atmosphere, treating us like adults in college instead of kids preparing for college.

The principal knows all our names and she jokes around with us, same with all the other faculty. The other day the principal and vice principal were standing next to the stairs talking and I passed them by, and they called to me and joked, saying, "Quil, we hear you only have a 104 in english, you better step it up!" and they complimented some of the art they'd seen for an assignment I'd done. My 10th grade English teacher gave me books from her personal collection to read and I gave her a few from mine. Even this one teacher I never had (he's new this year and teaching a grade below me) knows about me (though that may be because I'm an accomplished student, so staff tend to hear about me).

I'm probably missing something, but that's the gist of it! I take core classes at the high school, and college courses that count for college and elective credits. This gives me an incredibly free schedule (that doesn't match the rest of the district) with a personal, relaxed environment. And it's all paid for!

It's definitely not for everyone, but it's wonderful for me because I don't have to be in a place for an extended period of time and all the teachers are more than accommodating when I use fidgets and earplugs. Couldn't imagine going anywhere else :)

[digitalgirls]

sometimes I just wonder if im stuck hating myself because it's the easy thing to do, and i don't wanna try to like and accept myself cause it's so hard

[puppypawprince]

happy Saturday everyone <- brain is dissolving at midnight