#but im just stuck like always | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

gl8m · 2 years

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im so fucking sad

#i hope you’re happy #you didn’t mean to hurt me but you also don’t care that you did #the only way i can move on is to despise you #and i cant even do that #the truth is that i miss you #at night when im picking on my skin #and in the afternoon when im tired and sleepy #and in the morning when i see what you’ve done while i was asleep #and when i wake up to go to the bathroom in the middle of the night i think of you too as im drying my hands #and i wish there was an action i could take that would take this away from me #but im just stuck like always #loving but never loved #i hope you know we could’ve been good together #that i couldve given you what you needed #and that i don’t think there will come a day that im not in love with you #ætherspeak #deen #youre too gentle but not enough with me #you have no idea the impact you have on me #i wish i could run out of fuel and just lie here dormant

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yrdnzz · 4 months

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and i got eyes on the back of my head, i got eyes everywhere so i know where you go

#yrdnzz art #blue lock #blue lock fanart #isagi yoichi #isagi #bllk #artists on tumblr #hey #been a minute.... sorry fazgang #I FEEL LIKE IM ALWAYS APOLOGIZING IN THE TAGS my fault #ill do better mb yall i just graduated this month and ive been just chilling doing fuck all bc ive been artblocked AYE EFF #big thank u to jamie for talking me thru this piece even tho its sooo simple #just having someone to talk to about how i feel abt my art was very helpful bc i was definitely stuck on how to start drawing again #what graduating with a bs in comp sci does to a mf i guess #anyways hope yall like this one LOVE U ALL MWAH

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anakirui · 5 months

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hot take ??

the only reason people say that "mafuyu and tsukasa have nothing in common" when presented with mafukasa parallels is because they equate mafuyu and tsukasa being similar to "tsukasa has depression" because the fandom equates mafuyu's personality to being depressed and nothing else.

it doesn't help that people (primarily younger people in the fandom) who DO believe in mafukasa parallels end up making the mistake of portraying tsukasa as depressed because as of right now he is not (although it's possible he was in past because of his Very Unclear Middle School Backstory but that's irrelevant)

anyways, mafuyu and tsukasa are narrative foils because their core personalities are built off of the concept of wanting to make the people around them— especially their families— happy.

they both developed personalities at a young age based on someone they looked up to. for tsukasa, it was seiichi amami's performance that inspired him to be a star— a hero that could cheer anyone up. for mafuyu, it was her mother taking care of her that inspired her to be a nurse— and you can see the similarities from there.

for mafuyu, her identity would first come into conflict when her mother expressed her want for mafuyu to be a doctor— suddenly, "everyone's" happiness didn't match what she wanted to do, leaving her in a state of disorder and eventual depression.

for tsukasa, his identity was something he nearly forgot in its entirety at the start of the main story— becoming arrogant and fully absorbed in a hero persona, forgetting the kind person he truly is. furthermore, his current character arc seems to be foreshadowing that what "being a star" to him is going to be called into question— maybe it is something more than just being the main character that saves everyone.

their insecurities are incredibly similar.

in mafuyu's first mixed, mafuyu feels insecure towards ichika because unlike ichika, she feels as if her lyrics have no genuine meaning to be expressed to other people— despite them being her very real feelings. this is brought up again in her second mixed as well.

in tsukasa's third focus event, something similar happens. when watching seiichi's performance, he thinks that his acting is "real" and feels inferior towards him, which is ironic because tsukasa has been method acting this whole time. when tsukasa is acting out rio or bartlett or really anyone at this point in the story, it's not just those characters— it's a reflection of his traumas.

just like mafuyu, tsukasa undermines his passions he's poured his feelings into because someone else's work is more genuine in his eyes.

now, then, foils have many similarities and parallels (and i could honestly list a lot more), but how i define them is that they usually have some kind of major branching difference that MAKES them foils.

for mafuyu and tsukasa it's pretty straightforward.

mafuyu's people pleasing behavior comes from external expectations and pressures— her mother's demands.

tsukasa's people pleasing behavior comes internally, from himself— if he can't meet his own standards, if he can't be the perfect big brother or the perfect star, then he is nothing.

and even then, there's some overlap.

tsukasa's behavior was indirectly encouraged by his mother praising him for being a "good big brother" over the phone instead of asking him if he was okay while home alone.

mafuyu's terrified to be herself around other people because she doesn't want to worry or bother them— she doesn't want to be a burden— and projects her mother's expectations onto them, not realizing that they would prefer the real mafuyu if they knew the truth.

and the concept of mafukasa being foils is most perfectly and blatantly portrayed in these two cards.

mafuyu, the marionette, sitting limp on the floor— puppeteered by her mother's demands and donning a mask to hide her true self.

tsukasa, the jester, standing above everything else— puppeteering silenced plushies— his feelings. he's not being completely honest with himself, and he doesn't even realize it.

mafuyu has cut her strings and ripped her mask in half. she has acknowledged her true feelings and expressed them to her mother, even if she had to run away in the end.

tsukasa has not yet cut his.

#project sekai #colorful stage #prsk #tsukasa tenma #mafuyu asahina #mafukasa #theres also obvious ones im sure you all know. like how theyre the sole sekai creators #or their designs paralleling eachother (color schemes of their eyes and hair)#or how theyre both connected to the moon and bunnies #and how theyre connected by a piano with a moon design thats only shown up in mafuyus 2nd mixed and tsukasas 2nd mixed... where they had #their first mixed events together #or how they both easily overwork theirselves #or how theyre almost always projecting onto other people as if their experiences are the norm #ex: tsukasa with rui in wonder halloween and mafuyu with niigo in main story #I CAN GO ON ABOUT THIS FOR HOURS AS YOU CAN SEE .#EDIT: HERES SOME MORE THAT I DIDNT REMEMBER AT 12 AM LAST NIGHT #theyre both connected to apples! points at tsukasa in fixer 2dmv and points at mafuyu2 #literally all of their vocaloids parallel eachother.#wxs and n25 miku have a childlike sense of curiosity #wxs and n25 rin are based off someone that isnt them for the most part (saki and ena)#wxs and n25 len are both anxious and pessimistic (in island panic... wxs len has a conflicting pov from meiko and wants wxs to just stay in #the sekai instead of being stuck out on an island... which is kinda escapist as hell)#wxs and n25 meiluka have conflicts that are very similar. n25 meiluka represents mafuyus inner conflict between isolating herself and #helping everyone because she didnt know what would be better #and wxs meiluka is the conflict between tsukasas ambition and his fatigue #which is why wxs meiko always acts like wxs luka is a burden whenever she falls asleep— tsukasa himself wont rest #not when he thinks it will burden other people #and wxs and n25 kaito are both driving forces in tsukasa and mafuyu accepting their true feelings #(although tsukasa is kinda not where mafuyu is yet i think you get what i mean)#EDIT: 5/22/24 I CANT ADD ANYMORE TAGS FUCK

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imaybe5tupid · 5 months

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Touden observations

(I hc them as fantasy Norwegian)

#laios touden #falin touden #toshiro nakamoto #shuro dungeon meshi #edited slightly I think its funnier and cuter and more fitting if theyre not speaking the common tongue #its probably nice for the siblings to be together again they probably had no one else to talk to in their own language for years #and still only have each other #i strongly rebuke the idea that their native language is the common tongue #they are norwegians bro #shuro is just hearing intense hinga dinga durgen ing here #I talk so much about the Toudens being Norwegian comparatively since I rarely give much context on my posts #but always clarify that whenever their culture is mentioned or alluded to I wonder if people think I’m Norwegian lmfao #im asian im just an Ibsen fan 😂#Also they’re explicitly from the mountains #And I like to imagine that laios has psychological issues about not being agile enough to do hallingkast with all the other village boys #since the scene of alll the Village Lads doing it in Peer Gynt really stuck with me #My comics #touden father

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nordidia · 6 months

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having a very rough night so raph doodles needed to be made

when in need, mash two interests together

#i love him so muhc ghghgh #and uh please stop sending me asks straight up demanding me to draw more /nm #if u've sent me an ask just regarding art before pls dont feel anxious this is about people actually DEMANDING like im some sort of machine #im absent due to my work/mental health situation going up and down #tmnt will ofc always be special interest but right now its in the back row #theres little time for anything but work and meetings and thinking about work and.. well.. monster hunter escapism egsfkhjhh..#but yeah i promise im still here #and i want to draw him when i can #but stress is high right now and drawing takes too much wrist stamina to do often now #i hope u understand #sorry if i worded myself badly im very tired and stresed n its ... oh its 5am great. wellp. goodnight skafklgsjdklfnshh #my art #rise of the tmnt #rottmnt #nordidia art #rise of the teenage mutant ninja turtles #rottmnt raph #id in alt text #also one would think my art style is easy on my wrist but #i gorilla grip my pen and when i learned to write as a child i held the pencil jank #and it stuck like that #so its really rough on my hands #sadly

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arielluva · 11 months

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screenshot redraw! though i took creative liberty in making it rain here even though it isnt (yet) in the screenshot bc i thought it'd be cool (i also enjoy drawing water droplets)

there are two versions of the drawing here, the first one is edited for mobile to get it to look closer to my intended colors, while the second one is the original from my computer. the third image here being the original screenshot, lol

#my art #revolutionary girl utena #rgu #juri arisugawa #hate how different the computer vs mobile colors are... the original looks so dark on my phone </3 #my computer always displays colors lighter than they appear so unfortunately a lot of my drawings look darker than intended on mobile #sometimes the difference isnt too bad but this time it was. pretty obvious #hence two versions of the drawing #anyway im very happy with how this turned out #the original screenshot just stuck with me and. im not sure what it is about it that i like so much #but i just really wanted to draw it #still got two other rgu related drawings to finish but at least i got one done #anyways its 3 am... time for me to depart to eepytown #2023

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feelo-fick · 4 months

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I WANT ENDLESS BLISS!!!

HALF-AWAKE, HALF-DEAD, HALF-LIFE CRISIS

ALL NATURAL POMEGRANATE PULP.

FERMENTED TO PERFECTION, SAVOUR YOUR SAVIOR.

Q: What's your favourite food? A: THE ALE THEY SERVE AT THE TAVERN!

other versions : )

#uhhhh happy pride month have a fucked up chilchuck that im really proud of #i took so long on that hair rendering just so i could cover it up with the stars...#this was a reaaaally experimental one #if i had another go at this id change a lot of things but sometimes you gotta know when to stop #ive learned my lesson from this one so ill do another one with my knowledge now ykyk #ive discovered i reaaaallly reaaaaaally like thin lines #still figuring out how rendering + painting works but hey it was a nice attempt!!#this is my first finished peice in a looongggg loooooongggg time and it makes me really happy how well it came out #i guess switching things up really helped with things.. i usually get stuck at flat colors because i get so bored #cw alcohol #cw alcoholism #eyestrain #<- maybe? its really saturated #chilchuck #chilchuck tims #dungeon meshi #by the way i always thought him saying “ale” as an answer to “favourite food” was odd #maybe its a translation thing where theres a japanese wprd that covers both food and drink and the translator just estimated it to “food”?#cause if its not... sir??? chilchuck thats not a food... my man... you have a problem...#this is #[ tragedy au ]#but honestly you could take it as set in canon #by the way do you like my little poem : ) im pspspsps-ing at the dungeon meshi fandom/fandom in general to write more poetry/short lit #maybe ill tweek it and post the poem on ao3.... shrug !

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maggot-baggage · 6 months

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Methinks its time to move back home actually

#i talked to my aunt about it and honestly like. i might as well #im broke im in a bunch of debt i have no access to medical insurance so i cant get therapy im alone depressed and my bills are always late #and ive been stuck in my apartment for months bc of this ridiculous registration shit for my car #so as much as i dont want to sell my car OR move im. thinking about it now #like at least id have the house almost to myself since my sibling moved out #and i could make the upstairs my own pretty much. plus ive been meaning to jelp renovate up there so #why not #plus i can save for tattoo stuff properly #i just feel like im giving up i was trying to prove i could care for myself and #I feel like ive proven km incapable pf being an adult bc of this it sucks #but at least my ma and my aunt are willing to help me as i figure shit out. im lucky to have them #mag.txt

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moreaugriffins · 6 months

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IDK who needs to hear this, but Egon and Ray aren't the only autistic og ghostbusters

Peter is too

Your telling me this man with two PhDs related to psychology, who always has the exact right thing to say to manipulate a situation to his favour (when it's a planned/known situation), but cocks up massively when it's an unknown situation, who has a massive reaction to getting slimed (more so than the others), who would rather joke all the time than take a situation seriously because wtf should he say

you're telling me this man is neurotypical?

nah

Winston's the only NT in this group (idk how he deals with these weirdos (affectionate))

#rambles #ghostbusters #the real ghostbusters #to be specific i guess #peter venkman #egon spengler #ray stantz #winston zeddemore #i've encountered a few autistic people like peter #it's mainly the focus on business and the intense interest in studying people and behaviour and the mind #but he gets so irritated and angry when he gets slimed #the same way i feel when oil or glue gets stuck on my skin #“but he's so good at social situations-” but that's just it!#he is!#because he studies people - studies their reactions - their interactions #a business chat always goes the same way so he can plan what to say to get the best thing out of it #when he flirts with women it seems to be the same way each time - like he's planned it - because he thinks it'll get a reaction he wants #and i dare say that Peter masks a lot more than Ray and Egon. i mean he was a probably more of a cool slacker type at uni and got on well #with more popular students (sorority house students? idk im not american) and yknow it was the 70s! couldnt exactly be fully himself #idk where im going with this - ive lost my train of thought #but yeah #peter is autistic as well and i'll die on this hill

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crunchchute · 6 months

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Sam and Max if they were cool /j

#sam and max #crunchchute art #my art #somehow this shitposty art piece made me emotional while drawing #i miss highschool and my friends and just going on school trips and stuff listening to shitty scene music like botdf #and playing the songs on a phone close to our ears or sharing an earbud on the bus #and being fucking cringy and shit man i wish i experienced more of that #perhaps i wasted my teen years on stress and worrying so im dressing like this now to make up for it #i know you wont see this D and im sorry i was being awful to you sometimes but i liked teasing you as if you were my sibling #i really miss those times. and i know i could always reach out to you but you moved on and im still stuck so i wont. but im thinking about #you from time to time! and the little fun we had back in hs. i really felt like i could be myself when hanging out with you #and i thought about you making this piece. me as max u as sam that would fit lmao #<- hes getting sappy missing the idea of his friends 10 years ago that only exists in memories now because everyone except him grew up

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milkbreadtoast · 5 months

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(OC) boyfriends..... 🤭🧡💜

#my art #OC #baek siwon #(is the honey blonde one)#PURPLE EYES DOES NOT HAVE A NAME YET....#(idek where to start tbh lol like... HOW DO U NAME A WEREWOLF FOX MONSTER-#thats his default human form but yeah hes not human #siwon is human tho! just to confirm KDJDK #anyway im kicking my feet n giggling #HOPE U GUYS LIKE THEM TOO #also im laughing bc its so obv i have a visual type when it comes to ships #LIKE U CAN SEE THE SIMILARITIES W CEDJESS... (droopy eyes x sharp eyes... height diff...#OH ALSO BLONDE/BLACK HAIR YAOI ALWAYS WINS #I FINALLY MADE ONE OF MY OWN LMFAOOA #giving 💜 two-toned hair was a good decision tbh #bc i had been stuck on whether to give him dark or light hair... until i realized i could combine him <3 #*combine them #O BTW... i mean the chibi confirms it but #can u tell that siwon is the bigger/taller one...🫣#golden retriever coded...#OH BTW CLOTHES R PLACEHOLDER!!!#SRRY IDK HOW TO DESIGN FASHION EXCUSE THE GOOFY ASS OUTFIT #ITS JUST A PLACEHOLDER TO SHOW THAT HE DRESSES GOTH...#i feel like maybe he has a cool assassin-like uniform normally #but if he were to dress casually... hed go for goth/emo/punk-like clothes FLDNDJ #could picture him playing guitar or bass or smth

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ohnoitsz1m · 10 days

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Uhh post canon Barney

Man who has not had a break since the rescas and refuses to start now. Alyx and Gordon are hiding his gear as we speak while Kleiner distracts him.

I was sposed to do Alyx too but I blinked and it was 3 am so. Next time

Oh also I forgot to make a note but he does carry a sidearm

#no reposting #ok ramble time because i have some Thoughts #subject to change..#okay so like #Barney is a few things. imo. one he's s good leader and protector. two hes a creature of habit.#Barney has always kind of stuck in one area of work.. from security guard to civil protection officer to white forest sentry #hell even as a field commander during the uprising half of his combat is essentially point defense and backing Gordon up #which like yeah thats just gameplay stuff but this is an intentional reading of his character so just. shh #anyways #Barney never really stops being some kind of guard. the context in which he operates changes of course but its still the same general role #maybe its a subconscious attempt at maintaining normalcy. maybe its just all he feels hes good at. regardless its what he does.#and its what he continues to do.#that's what feels right to him thats whats natural to him so he might as well do it.#i think part of Barney's brain hasn't really caught up to the idea that things really are improving.#like he Knows it and he's happy about it but it doesn't feel natural after spending half of his life under the combine.#his body still thinks hes in danger #okay im eepy #half life fanart #barney calhoun #half life 2 #half life furry au #half life

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buwheal · 27 days

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Ah, the Addisons. One of them was trying to sell a dress sewed to a mannequin (I think the orange one?) and the other was selling footwear samples. As food. Uh… they’re… not very smart, are they?

#fuurkckgrrrrrrrrhhhhh ive been stuck on the dialogue for like three days im not even gonna bother anymore i just gotta move past it #Unintentionally defending them because he will /Always/ still care about them\ even if he says he doesnt. youre not gonna get away with tha #why did you say that to him hes not gonna directly agree with you no matter how much he spews insults about them he doesnt truly mean them #most of the time when he says them #i couldnt decide if i wanted him to call you dumb or if i wanted it to be implied with a blank space. so i have a version for each.#sorry. but also not sorry because i have a fair warning in the rules that i wont let him hold back when insulting you lol :-3 #obviously to a degree because i cant be TOO mean but he will be mean and ive said that since the start X-P #whic is why i let him say it :swirlinghearts:#[you've got mail!]#spamton #spamton g spamton #deltarune #deltarune spamton #deltarune chapter 2

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pasta-pardner · 1 year

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spotify | john marston's revenge quest, set to music from 1960s spaghetti westerns.

Fun detail: the opening cutscene for Red Dead Revolver (2004) features an instrumental version of "His Name Is King". The lyrical version is oddly fitting for John, given that it's a song about seeking vengeance for a dead brother.