#you have no idea the impact you have on me

[valerie-is-in-the-cupboard]

The ABCs of Alastor - Dirty Secret

A B C D E F G H I J K L M N O P Q R S T U V W X Y Z

MATURE CONTENT AHEAD! MINORS DNI!

Words: ~1600 TW: oral (female receiving) while on period

"Why are you avoiding me?"

It was a simple question. One simple question, yet the way he looked at you gave away the fact that this was far from the truth.

Alastor never seemed to be so good at comforting people, but with you at least he tried. He'd spend hours with you whenever you were sad, giving you his wise advice that most of the time implied killing someone. He'd bring you different gifts whenever you said you were interested in something. And you damn well knew he would murder someone who dared to do you wrong.

So it was kind of hard to understand why he avoided you so much every time you were on your period. Every time you needed him by your side, he'd disappear without a trace. You'd cry for days from how crazy your hormones were acting and how bad your cramps were and he would be nowhere to be seen. Why?

You thought that maybe it had something to do with his human life. Perhaps he was repulsed by the whole idea, but it was kind of hard to believe that someone like him would get so easily scared by something so simple.

Alastor avoided your gaze and looked elsewhere, he shifted from standing still to leaning against the wall with one hand still placed behind his back. You could tell something clearly bothered him, but it was hard to understand what. "I'm not avoiding you, my dear."

"Then why do you always disappear when I'm on my period?" You saw his smile faintly twitching, his ears pressed back on his head. "Are... Are you disgusted by me?" you asked, suddenly feeling a bit emotional at the thought that it would affect him this much.

"No! Of course not!" He said in a somewhat surprised tone, clearly shocked by the question and immediately approaching you. He stands in front of you, towering over you in height. He was still unable to look into your eyes directly as if there was something else bothering him. "It's just..."

"What?"

"Blood," he said bluntly, his tone so low that you could only guess that's what he said.

"It's... what?"

Alastor sighed, looking down at the floor as he did so. He was struggling to explain himself and his facial expression gave it away. He was ashamed, and his pride was slowly shattering at how weak he felt. "It's your blood, my dear... It makes me feel..." he was tapping on his cane, a dark blush spreading on his face. The sight of him all flustered made your heart tingle, but you kept it to yourself, knowing he wouldn't talk to you for days if you said something that you shouldn't.

"... horny?" you asked, not really finding a better explanation for his embarrassment.

Alastor's face went beet red at your question, as he slowly raised his head to look at you, a bit taken aback by your bluntness "I- What- ...That is-" He stuttered, speechless for a few seconds until he finally mumbled out something. "That's one way to put it I suppose, my dear."

You let out an audible 'Oh.' as you made the connections in your head. It made sense considering his preferences, but you never imagined it could have such an impact on him.

"Why didn't you say anything?" you asked.

Alastor still tried his best to avoid your gaze, now placing a hand over at least half his face to try and hide his expression. He was too embarrassed to speak, and he was silently scolding himself for acting like a fool who didn't know how to talk to a woman properly. "I..." he began but then gave up trying to explain himself. How was he supposed to tell you that he'd eat you up like a starved man whenever you got your period? How was he supposed to say to you he's so weak he can't even control his urges over a normal, biological process?

"You know..." you started, making him look at you, your face blushing softly as this new idea popped into your head. "I think we can... solve this... somehow..."

"Fuck! Fuck, Alastor - Ahh~"

His tongue was driving you crazy, as his claws dug into your things, making sure you keep your legs open for him. Alastor was completely lost in the moment, his mind consumed by the intoxicating taste of you and the animalistic urge to lick every drop of blood, his senses heightened and all control slipping away. He can't think straight, can't even form a coherent thought, overwhelmed by the need to have you completely.

The sloppy sounds of him eating you up so eagerly echoed in the room, as your grip on his antlers tightened, a low growl vibrating through your body. His usual collected demeanour was long gone as his tongue pumped in and out of you, sucking and kissing your clit, desperate to consume you entirely.

His mind was a chaotic, primal whirlwind of raw need, every sense and thought completely consumed by the overwhelming hunger for you. He couldn't hold back even if he tried; every movement, every sound he made was fueled by an uncontrollable animalistic desire. He was practically snarling against you, his growls a stark contrast to the usual suave tone of his voice.

Your heart skipped a bit as his form grew in size, his radio-dial eyes looking at you, a hint of madness in them. His long tongue delved deeper and deeper, exploring every part of you. The suction and rhythmic movement made your head spin, and the sight of his now monstrous form between your legs was almost too much to handle.

"You have no idea how torturous it was for me, my dear..." you heard him say, the static in his voice almost deafening. "Smelling all this blood without being able to taste..." Long fingers entered you roughly, moving at a fast pace as a thin coat of red liquid covered them.

"Ahh~ Shit, Alastor! I'm gonna... Ahhh~"

His pace quickened as he sucked on your clit, the room spinning as your body aggressively trembled against his mouth. The sudden burst of pleasure almost made you cry, as your walls clenched tightly around his fingers.

The thin line between pain and pleasure threatened to be crossed as he fingerfucked you through your orgasm. The lights in the room flickered as his gaze never left yours for a moment. You shivered slightly, feeling as if you were about to be literally eaten alive by him.

His sharp teeth were full of blood, but you knew he craved more. He always told you how addicted he was to you, how much he needed to just have you completely. And he was going to.

His fingers were quickly replaced again by his tongue, the familiar feeling inside of you rapidly building up again.

"Alastor! Ah~ I can't!" you begged, feeling as if you were about to pass out any moment now, a low growl vibrating against your aching core. If you were being completely honest, you weren't even sure if he heard you. You squirmed against his grasp, only for his claws to dig deeper into the soft skin of your things, making sure you were not moving until he was satisfied.

Your knuckles were white because of how hard you were gripping the bedsheet that was now probably drenched in your blood. Alastor is in the thralls of primal ecstasy, his whole being hyper-focused on consuming you, giving into the animalistic needs that have taken over his mind entirely. The taste of you on his tongue, the sight of you writhing desperately beneath him, are driving him wilder and wilder, his self-control completely shattered.

You scream his name as you orgasm once again and you could swear you almost fainted when you reached the peak, even the feeling of his tongue sliding out of you becoming a torture.

Your vision was blurry as your body relaxed, the sudden feeling of his hand on your stomach, slowly caressing it, making you shiver. You turned to face him, and his appearance returned back to normal as blood was scattered all over his face.

He is panting heavily, the intense primal need somewhat sated for now, replaced by the more familiar persona of the charming radio demon. His touch on your aching skin was a stark contrast to the wildness he'd just displayed. His gaze, although calmer than before, still held a hint of raw hunger. He looked down at you with a mixture of satisfaction and exhaustion.

"Are you alright, love?"

The way he used that word always made your heart skip a beat, especially now when you saw him so hungry... only for you. You just nodded, not a single word being able to make it out of you. He let go of a deep chuckle, the sound reverberating through you, as he enjoyed the effect he had on you.

Alastor moved closer to you, his frame enveloping your smaller figure protectively. He gently wiped some sweat from your forehead, brushing away a few strands of hair too. He was being affectionate and caring, his usual composed demeanour returning, though you were sure it was not gonna last long.

"You're quite a mess, aren't you, darling?" he teased with a smirk, his voice low and sultry. He placed a soft kiss on your forehead before he got up, making his way to the bathroom to prepare you a warm bath.

So, no, Alastor may never have been good at comforting people the way others were, but with you, he always found a way. Even if his methods were… unconventional, they were his way of showing you just how deeply he cared.

And in the end, you were left to wonder—how many other secrets did he keep even from you? Secret passions, secret dreams... maybe even secrets dirtier than this one. You lay there, smiling to yourself, eager to uncover the rest of his secrets—one by one.

Tags: @ratsematary @littlebluefishtail @xalygatorx @martinys-world

@alastorthirsty @diffidentphantom @itsaubreyofcc @n0tmentallystable

@lettuce-frog16 @eris-norwega @readergirlstuff

@vxllys @xghostnuggsx @ohmylovewhereartthou-blog

@l3rittany @ustulia @catticora

[yeehawpim]

hi! i just wanted to let u know that i love ur art and a lot of ur comics are very impactful to me :] recently in a ceramics project for school i was inspired by the school comic u made. the imagery of "i love you" on the palm was very meaningful to me so i added it to the palm of this hand sculpture, and cuz im a sentimental sap i had my friends doodle on it in sharpie. i thought u would like to see it since its cool when ur art inspires other people to make art, right?

the title is "Take My Hand"

(also when i submitted this piece for class i linked to ur comic (credit to where my ideas came from) but im also hoping my teacher reads more of ur work since i like it so much)

OMGGGG THATS SO COOL BRO ACTUALLY LOOKS LIKE A HAND IRL???

Ceramics one of those classes I wish I'd taken in school it's super impressive to me

Thanks so much for reading my stuff that's so cool you put it on your art🫣Here's an mspaint drawing of my reaction because I don't have access to my tablet rn😂

[johnbrand]

Loyal

With @mrrharper

I can not recall what started it really, there was just something off. Almost like a persistent tick within the back of my head, a missed alarm that somebody had forgotten to address from far away, and yet was still just barely registerable on my radar. It was like I was the only one that heard it, felt it, knew this tiny thing even existed. I was all alone.

When I had first come to college, I had no idea what to expect. The whole atmosphere had changed since the pandemic; competition was everywhere. I was no longer “smart enough” for the STEM kids, and yet I was not “passionate enough” to join any special interest groups. Everything had suddenly become a challenge to be the best, the greatest, but my background was not built for that type of drive. I began to assume college was only for my peers ready to commit everything to reaching the practically unattainable.

But Coach saw something different in me, he saw potential. He was the one who got me to stay. He was the only one who not only saw my tick when no one else had been able to, but explained it to me. He believed that the culture around education had become too individualistic, too single-minded. It was appropriate that I had suddenly felt inferior, unnoticed and left behind in the slaughter others had created. I needed to be a part of something greater, a team. His team.

At first, I had found Coach’s opinions beyond ludacris. Me? In sports? My body practically lacked everything necessary for a college athlete, unless it was in e-sports. I maintained my health fairly well, but I was toned and skinny, and practically too short for any serious competition. The only sport I could have seriously considered was swimming junior varsity–at a high school level. But soon I learned that Coach's opinion was law in his territory, from the locker room to the field.

Coach decided to tackle the standard issues right away, knowing that at the base of every great player is dedication. His questions opened up my formerly firm mindset and ideals, offering up new possibilities.

“Is it truly impossible for you to believe that I, an experienced professional, would not be able to help you discover a greater purpose as one of my players?”

“Wouldn’t you rather be a part of a team, a successful unit, rather than having to navigate the world on your own?”

“Do you really need to focus on other things outside of our work together? Are classes, friends, and family truly improving you like our time in the gym and on the field are?”

I did not realize it, but the more Coach questioned my morals, the more my mind began internalizing his. Coach believed that his players were all like the states in the mighty “US of A,” the greatest place on Earth. Separate, we had some power and identity, but nothing of significance. But together, as a part of a greater cause, we could become something much more impactful, more important, than our individual selves.

“If you become a part of my team, then wouldn’t it be more meaningful to be a player both in mind and body?”

“Perhaps your feelings of inadequacy aren’t stemmed from your lack of participation in college, but in general. Wouldn’t you feel more fulfilled if you followed a greater cause, like the traditional role of men in society?”

“Don’t you think what you are searching for is something to uphold? Maybe at large it is masculinity, but at a personal level supporting your teammates and likewise supporting me?”

Thanks to Coach’s help, I began to reprioritize my schedule, in turn reorganizing my life. With his approval, I was able to weed out some of the classes that were hindering my performance to become a better player, before I eventually stopped attending lectures all together. It was much easier to listen to Coach anyway, and he promised he would provide me with all the materials necessary in order to graduate. 

With my time freed up, I was better able to absorb Coach’s teachings at a rapid rate. My body quickly started to expand, packing on muscle in the weeks following faster than I thought was possible. It was as if every week I had to purchase new clothes, before eventually Coach began supplying me with past players’ hand-me-downs. My biceps and triceps became too large for any sleeve, my thighs would practically rip through every pants seam. It was not long before I was practically forced to endless sleeveless tanks and tight shorts. I even managed to gain height although I was past the prime of puberty, reaching an appropriate 6’3 for any linebacker.

That was what Coach said I was to become. Not any linebacker, his linebacker. When he first told me his plans, I had been shocked, but soon I began to instinctually follow his orders. Eventually, he stopped calling me by my name altogether; I had been reduced to “Linebacker #1!” in all his references.

Strangely enough, it was like my body responded to this new name accordingly. My boyish features almost vanished over the course of a day, leaving behind a wide jawline to support a much broader skull. My general hygiene fell backwards in priority, allowing for hair to cover my beefier frame and a manly mustache to crawl out onto my upper lip.

I had even begun to emit a sweat-induced, locker room musk wherever I went, although after a while I lost any embarrassment in it. In fact, I took some pride in my larger figure. I soon weighed over 230 pounds of pure girth, muscle, and mass that helped me pummel my opponents on the field. There was something so invigorating about being large and in charge…while still being under Coach’s orders.

“What if your purpose all along was to play football for glory and to preserve tradition? And was I not the one who helped you discover that purpose?”

“Why would you possibly want or need anything else from outside of the field? Aren’t you at your best when you are a part of my team, a piece of a larger puzzle?”

“Wasn’t the only thing you ever wanted all along was to be Coach's loyal football jock? A place where you can be your biggest, most masculine, most aggressive self without ever having to worry about anything else?”

By the time preparations for the next season began to roll around, I had stopped questioning Coach. I had realized that he was right, that he had been right all along and would remain as such. I was no longer considering his viewpoints, now merely just thanking him for them. I had begun coming to Coach for advice on any topic. Should I be worried about my dropping grades? Is it ok to get physical with nerds who insisted that the team was “a bunch of stupid pawns”? How could I be a better player for the team, his team?

And now, I was strutting around the conference room filled with reporters and many other beefy, aggressive jocks just like myself. I was feeling proud, cocky, arrogant even. Since joining his team, I had gained strength, girth, and attitude, all of which had earned me the title as the up-and-coming star collegiate linebacker. I did not need anything besides my masculinity, I did not need an identity outside of Coach’s team. I was simply his loyal football jock, and when I heard him call out for “Linebacker #1!” I immediately turned around. That was my name after all; whatever I was called had been long forgotten.

[hayatoseyepatch]

𝕯𝖊𝖘𝖈𝖗𝖎𝖕𝖙𝖎𝖔𝖓: Hoshina knew better than to get romantically involved with a subordinate, but he sees you in a different light, the object of his desires.

𝕮𝖍𝖆𝖗𝖆𝖈𝖙𝖊𝖗: Soshiro Hoshina (Kaiju No. 8)

𝖂𝖔𝖗𝖉 𝕮𝖔𝖚𝖓𝖙: 1.4 k

𝕮𝖔𝖓𝖙𝖆𝖎𝖓𝖘: Soshiro Hoshina x Fem!Reader. (SMUT). 𝖈𝖜: oral (fem receiving), minor impact play, dirty talk, praise, degradation, fingering.

𝕬𝖚𝖙𝖍𝖔𝖗’𝖘 𝕹𝖔𝖙𝖊: This is a very late submission for the pixel-cafe's "Challenge Friday", and this challenge was music-themed! *ahem* shameless plug just in case anyone was thinking of joining. *ahem*. I had so much fun with this, I lucked out with one of my favorite songs from one of my favorite artists. So naturally I had to use it to try out a new character from a new fandom I'm so in love with him someone save me. Anywhosies, I hope you enjoy! (ᴗ͈ˬᴗ͈)ꕤ.ﾟ

𝕾𝖍𝖊’𝖘 𝖓𝖔𝖙 𝖆𝖈𝖎𝖉 𝖓𝖔𝖗 𝖆𝖑𝖐𝖆𝖑𝖎𝖓𝖊, 𝖈𝖆𝖚𝖌𝖍𝖙 𝖇𝖊𝖙𝖜𝖊𝖊𝖓 𝖇𝖑𝖆𝖈𝖐 𝖆𝖓𝖉 𝖜𝖍𝖎𝖙𝖊. 𝕹𝖔𝖙 𝖖𝖚𝖎𝖙𝖊 𝖊𝖎𝖙𝖍𝖊𝖗 𝖉𝖆𝖞 𝖔𝖗 𝖓𝖎𝖌𝖍𝖙, 𝖘𝖍𝖊,𝖘 𝖕𝖊𝖗𝖋𝖊𝖈𝖙𝖑𝖞 𝖒𝖎𝖘𝖆𝖑𝖎𝖌𝖓𝖊𝖉.

He knew he shouldn’t, knew that in this line of work romance should be off the table. Knew that at any moment either of you could killed in the line of duty. Feelings in your profession were thoughtless, illogical, and just downright stupid. Why would he put his heart into someone he could lose at any moment? Why would he jeopardize your heart in the event he was the one to meet his end. The idea of losing you alone already had a painful pinch blossoming in his chest, he knew he should stop this, but even he knew it was too late. Knew you both were long past the point, even if a heartbreak was temporary, you both cared for each other too much. Even if separated you both cared for each other too much to not be shattered by the loss of the other.

But those thoughts are quickly shoved to the wayside, thoughts like that had no room in his head, not when he felt your body on his. Not when the both of you snuck out of your rooms in the dead of night. Not when he shut the door to the library with your back, his mouth finding yours hungrily in a desperate kiss. And certainly not when he let out an arms to swipe the contents of a table, uncaring of the clatter of books falling to the ground. Pushing you to lay against the cool wood, hiking your thighs around his waist.

“So fucking beautiful.” His words are muffled against your lips, breathless, barely getting them out before he's claiming your lips once more. The kiss was a mess of tongues and clashing teeth, the both of you unfathomably filled with need. A magnetic pull drew you to each other, unable to be separated until you were both satiated. His lips trailed down the side of your face to your neck. Open-mouthed kisses left in their wake, sharp canines finally sinking into your tender flesh. He hadn’t realized how hard he had bitten down, not until the metallic taste filled his taste buds. His wet muscle swiping against your skin, a tender kiss almost an apology against the afflicted area. But he couldn’t deny the knowledge that he had left his mark on you didn’t send blood rushing to his cock. The thought of anyone who was suspicious that you were taken would now have confirmation.

“Fuck kitten, I need you.” His own voice sounded foreign to his own ears, the need-filled husk making it sound octaves deeper. Hands tugged desperately at each other’s clothing, the overwhelming need to feel each others skin was all-consuming. He needed a taste of you, his mouth going dry with the need to taste you on his tongue. He was grateful you had forgone sleep pants, clad only in an oversized tshirt, one that made it oh so easy to slide your panties down your thighs. He gripped the damp material, unable to stop himself from pressing the fabric to his nose. Eyes locked on yours as he inhaled, relishing in the way you looked away from him in embarrassment, your cheeks darkening with a flush. He lets out a long drawn-out sigh, pocketing the article of clothing for later. “God, kitten, smell so fucking good. Let's see if you taste even better yeah?”

His hand trails down your body, long fingers sliding between your folds, collecting your arousal. His lips leave yours, parting only to whisper “You’re this wet already? Is this for me, kitten?” He purrs needing to hear you say it. His eyes nearly roll back in his head as a delicious whine fills his ears. “Its for you Shiro, all for you.” Those words pull a malicious smirk onto his features, his other hand coming down against the plush skin of your ass in a harsh slap, his lips swallowing the gasp you let slip at the impact. Seizing this opportunity to slide his tongue into your mouth once more.

𝕴’𝖒 𝖈𝖆𝖚𝖌𝖍𝖙 𝖚𝖕 𝖎𝖓 𝖍𝖊𝖗 𝖉𝖊𝖘𝖎𝖌𝖓 𝖆𝖓𝖉 𝖍𝖔𝖜 𝖎𝖙 𝖈𝖔𝖓𝖓𝖊𝖈𝖙𝖘 𝖙𝖔 𝖒𝖎𝖓𝖊. 𝕴 𝖘𝖊𝖊 𝖎𝖓 𝖆 𝖉𝖎𝖋𝖋𝖊𝖗𝖊𝖓𝖙 𝖑𝖎𝖌𝖍𝖙, 𝖙𝖍𝖊 𝖔𝖇𝖏𝖊𝖈𝖙𝖘 𝖔𝖋 𝖒𝖞 𝖉𝖊𝖘𝖎𝖗𝖊.

His fingers glided against your clit, easily with the aid of your own slick arousal, rubbing tight circles before letting a finger slip past your entrance. Your warm velvety walls sucking in his finger, hugging the digit as if begging for more. He slides in another finger with ease, pulling from the kiss as he dropped to his knees before you. His eyes locked to where his fingers disappeared inside you, his heart racing in his chest. He leans back, admiring you being so exposed for him, hand pulling his fingers from your core, rearing back to slap your exposed cunt. You cry out, pain immediately being replaced with pleasure as he dives down, burying this face into your folds.

His nose bumps your clit as his tongue invades your entrance, curling inside you. He collects your juices on the wet muscle, withdrawing from inside you he pushes himself up. Tongue lolling out of his mouth, allowing your juices, mixed with his own saliva, to drip down on your neglected clit. You whine, the warmth contrasting to the cold of the room. You’re shaking, trying to hold the position he’s placed you in. “Shiro, please!” You cry, not even sure what you’re begging for at this point. “What does my pretty kitten need, hmm?” he hums, lips curled into a malicious smirk “You know you need to use your words and ask your vice captain how he can service you angel.”

“Please Shiro need more, fingers, please fuck me with your fingers vice captain!” You cried out, voice laced with desperation, hips wiggling wantonly in search of any kind of friction to your throbbing clit. He grinned, pulling away to bite harshly on your thigh, his title moaned from your lips did something to him. “Now how could I say no to such a pretty request?” He coos before plunging two fingers back inside your cunt. His lips attach themselves to your clit, lapping at the sensitive bud, nipping occasionally as he eats your pussy with a deep seeded hunger. The way your walls clamped down on his fingers as they pumped inside of you let him know you were reaching your first orgasm of the evening. He curls the digits, focusing on that spongey spot that has your vision going white. His words spoken against your pussy as he speaks. “Go on kitten, cum for me, cum for your vice captain.”

His words are the anchor that sent you plummeting to your release, the coil tightening in the depths of your stomach, moments from snapping. “Shiro, please, fuck fuck fuck!” You can feel his lips curl into a grin against you, other hand coming up to pin your hips to the cool wood of the table. His fingers work in tandem with his tongue, the cold of his fingers perfectly contrasting with the warmth of his mouth. You were thrown over the edge, walls suffocating his digits as they spasmed around his fingers. Your hips bucking desperately against his face as you rode out your orgasm.

Coming down from your high, you catch your breath, your chest rising and falling heavily as he stands to his feet. Hoshina slips his fingers from inside of you, cradling your still-shaking form to his chest, running his fingers through your hair in a soothing gesture. Only to lean down, lips brushing the shell of your ear to whisper. “Well now that we’ve gotten our warmup all done, you ready for the main event kitten?” the fingers of his free hand deftly freeing his cock from the confines of his pants. Quick to rub the head of his cock against your clit a few times before moving down to probe your entrance. Sure, rational thought would tell him that getting involved with you was a mistake. But, as he watched you writhe beneath him, looking up at him desperately through your lashes he couldn’t determine if you were born in hell or heaven-sent, but either way he was into it.

Dividers by @/cafekitsune. Character banner and writing by me. Tagging @pixelcafe-network.

[kiame-sama]

Why filter out BTS stuff?? You have some kind of fucking issue with K-pop? Bitch

No, Bitch, I have an issue with people taking actual humans and using their name/likeness/and life for their own sexual gratification. Taking characters and tweaking their personalities to make them yandere is one thing, it is another thing entirely to take a real person's identity and make them into your own desires.

Many K-pop artists can't even have significant others without their supposed 'fans' losing their fucking minds and getting upset it isn't them the idols are chasing after. These are real people who can't have relationships because the rabid fans that only thirst after them can't stand the idea of their idols enjoying their lives and living for themselves.

I will never- and I repeat NEVER- write content for celebrities, k-pop artists, YouTubers, Twitch Streamers, or other real people. I will not take another person's identity and force them into the box I want them to be in.

Characters? Sure! Characters don't have feelings, emotions, and aren't genuinely impacted by people writing fiction about them because they aren't real. People? Fucking never. Show yourself the door and block me if that upsets you.

[xxgoblin-dumplingxx]

how is wade gonna find out about logan and writer!reader???

Logan lit his cigar, grateful that your dog was better trained than Mary. Trigger might not like him very much but, there was still slack on the worn leather leash.

And he seemed content to let Logan do the morning walk, as long as the other man in your life didn't get any smart ass ideas about the pecking order. Fair enough, Logan reasoned. The dog was here first. And he'd been looking after you longer. "Hurry up, would, ya?" Logan grumbled. Trigger sneezed and proceeded to keep sniffing, looking for the perfect spot to take another leak and Logan rolled his eyes.

"The fuck are you doing?" Wade called, jogging across the street, drink carrier in his hand.

"The fuck does it look like?" Logan asked, exhaling a cloud of smoke, "didn't you have a date-"

"She had an early shift. Figured I'd bring not-so-virgin- Mary a coffee and try and get her to snitch out her baby daddy," Wade said. "Unless you wanna do it."

"If I tell you who it is you'll never believe it," Logan said.

"Try me," Wade challenged. "It's that fucking pervy mystery writer isn't it? God he's such a hack-"

"It's me," Logan snorted.

"Bullshit," Wade laughed. "You and I both know-"

"I fucked her raw on every flat surface in that apartment," Logan said taking a drag. "We broke her goddamn kitchen table. Do. The. Math." He took the drink carrier from Wade's hand and left him on the side walk, turning and walking upstairs with the dog in his hand, mentally bracing for the impact. Grunting softly. "Hold on a fucking minute. If we kill her dog she's gonna be upset."

Upstairs he set the coffee on the table and let the dog off-leash, "Be right back, Princess," he growled.

"Logan what-"

"Wade knows," He said, grunting as he ripped 'baby knife' out of his shoulder. "Gotta go let him try and kill me- get it out of his system."

"Logan!"

He leaned down and kissed you, smirking. "He's an idiot. But he's still a man. And I knocked up his baby sister... I'd probably be helpin' him kick someone else's shit in if they did you like I did."

"Men."

"We'll do it outside," he promised, kissing you again.

"Just don't fucking stab him in the head," you groan, reaching for your phone to call Vanessa and tell her the boys were about to catfight in the street.

"As long as he leaves my balls alone," Logan huffed. "Might take it a little personal if he goes there."

[kittyandco]

something i've been thinking about for the last few... forever.

shout out to the people who identify so strongly with, and/or find the most comfort in, the worst character(s) of any media that you're into. some of us find connection and similarities with the most terrible figures that canon has to offer. often, you're expected to identify most strongly with the good guy, or aspire to be like them (and not to say you don't, because i do sometimes). but that often doesn't happen for me, and i see more of myself in the evil impacting them.

not because i think i'm a bad person, and not because i aspire to be a flamboyant supervillain, but i often understand their feelings, their mindset, i understand how they got there, because i often went through a lot of the same things they did, even if only emotionally. it often goes beyond sheer appreciation for me (though i often find them more interesting from a narrative sense). and if i were in their world, i might become like them if things were even slightly different. if i didn't try to unlearn the fact that destruction is the only way to get what you want. catharsis is a powerful motivator.

i think it's important to embrace the "they're just like me" perspective when it comes to characters who aren't always "morally sound," and i do unequivocally include the "unsympathetic" ones. we're always going to find fictional characters we admire so long as art keeps being made, and sometimes admiration moves into "i identify with this character because of our background/personality/etc.", and sometimes these characters are the ones you're supposed to hate and root against... intentionally or not, many antagonists are very relatable (though often in unspoken ways).

none of this is to say that your taste in favorite characters means anything about you as a person, because it doesn't. how you treat others says all it needs to say about you as a person. i've seen this first-hand: people being surprised that i am friendly and compassionate (i try my best!) simply because i have a deep love for fictional guys who commit atrocities. yes, my worldly experiences, and the way i view them, as well as my fantastic taste draws me to fictional bad guys, but at the end of the day, i strive to be the best i can be every day. i aim to exude the kindness that i didn't always get when i practically begged for it. on the other hand, you could like the most sugary sweet, do-good fictional characters ever created (and good for you! no shame here!) and still be a nightmare to those around you.

i don't like the idea that you CANNOT like these characters, or identify with them, without condoning some sort of evil or being a bad person. they are people (or robots, or monsters, or whatever they are) who did bad things, whatever their reasons -- here's no inherence about it, and i think that belief has helped me in trying to understand them. i try to practice this with everyone i encounter. and along the way, i actually find that we aren't so different

[alexanderwales]

The worst thing about creative AI right now is that it produces bad results. The writing is bad, the images are bad, and the video is bad. It's impressive, sometimes, that the technology works as well as it does, but it's still bad.

I think if you sit down and go through a few hundred generations, then tweak and edit and inpaint and think intently, you can sometimes get something worth putting in front of people, if you have the right eye for it. I could definitely edit up an AI-written short story into something worth reading, especially if I was the one who had fed it the prompt and gone through the work of having my own ideas to insert. I think at least part of the output would be the AI's, and I could carve away everything that was nonsense or just bad, leaving only a few turns of phrase or some general boilerplate structure ... and this would take more time and effort than just writing the thing myself.

Most people who use generative AI do not want to do any work, and in fact, have no conception of what work would be required. Most of them are consumers, not producers, and they're used to the modes of content consumption, where you don't look closely at the details. Generative AI, in its current state, just kind of sucks when you're in a "press button, get results" mindset.

The stuff generated by "press button, get results" is the vast, vast majority of AI art that you will see, even accounting for filtering effects. There are a lot of people who have no love of artistry producing artwork via machines that are not good at making artwork, sometimes just for a lark, sometimes with profit in mind, and it's threatening to drown out other stuff in spite of being bad.

This is my thesis: generative AI produces bad results, and this is possibly the worst thing about it. If it were able to produce good results, I think that a lot of people would be less opposed to it. If you could get a short story that was worth reading, or a picture worth looking at, for no additional effort of manipulation or prompt engineering or whatever else, then we would be flooded with good art instead of bad art.

When it comes to art, I care about how it makes me feel, and what it's trying to say, and where the intent is, and what ideas it has. AI is not there. Possibly it will never get there. But sometimes I see a picture that the AI has made, and I do feel something in the sweep of the lines, or the composition, or just the juxtaposition of elements. It's just really really rare, and the product of either chance or really careful work on the part of some human. It's not something that the AI can do reliably, at least at the moment. You can also quibble about intent, because the AI "has none", but I find beauty in nature too, which is not trying to make a statement with its sunsets, and whose intents, if they can be said to exist, are mostly about things that are orthogonal to my perceptions, like the plumage of a sparrow or the curved leaves of a fern. To me, art is art because of the way that it can be read and the emotions that I feel when I look at it. Contentious, I'm sure, but I don't find other definitions all that useful.

But the art that the AI makes is, unless expertly guided, bad. And there's a ton of it, and it's impacting the ability of real artists to make superior work.

I think the future I see, if the AI doesn't get better, is one where we have a bunch of cheap shit that's replaced a lot of good expensive things. I am in favor of cheap things, but I'm not in favor of shit. I would love for translation to be as simple as pressing a button. I would love to have a good painting to go with every chapter I write. But we're in a world where the results mostly suck unless you're willing to put in quite a bit of effort and have some expertise in a field of creative endeavor, and that means we're in a world where the products are bad.

I'm interested to see how the conversation shifts if the results start getting better, because that seems to me like one of the sticking points.

[epicqtefail]

art is so funny because i'll spend so long striving for something to look a specific way because i feel it will best capture the idea/emotion i'm trying to convey. But that is based entirely on my own personal preferences. What i think looks impactful might not to you. Maybe a version of the drawing i scrapped to redraw would have looked better to you.

like, do i really need to spend 6 hours adjusting Connor's stance to be 2% wider because, to me, it makes a massive difference. When to others it probably makes no difference at all? i think i do... because part of making art, even if you make the bullshit i do, is to be so mentally unwell about it

[thefandomenchantress]

Spoilers for Chapter 2 Episode 14 and discussion of the Eden Culprit theory below!

I completely understand why people don't like the Culprit!Eden theory, but I've seen a lot of people say that one of their main reasons is that Teruko would go back to square one of her arc, and that would be annoying, which I don't think is 100% accurate.

What I mean is, you can't convince me Eden would be the culprit and then not be like:

"T-teruko...Please...Don't give up because of me, okay? I know I really messed up, but I don't want my mistake to stop you from being happy. You can't go back, no matter how hard you try...But you can impact the future. So please, Teruko, keep moving forward. I know you can do it! You're so strong, stronger than me, stronger than anyone I've ever known! I'm not asking you to do it for me, but for your own sake. Even if I couldn't believe it before, there's hope. And don't let anyone tell you otherwise, okay?"

Cue MonoTV complaining about how boring this conversation is and whisking Eden away (Can you tell I was imagining what the end of the trial would look like for each culprit today?).

All this is to say that if Eden's the culprit, that doesn't completely 100% guarantee Teruko will regress to beginning of chapter 2 Teruko. It'll definitely make her have some sort of set-back, sure, but I doubt Eden would leave this trial a murderer and not have a super sweet, touching moment with Teruko about not losing hope and stuff.

Also--Teruko's whole thing is bad luck, and if she trusted one person, Eden, and really wanted Ace to be the one to murder Arei and not her...My guess is that her luck wouldn't be able to resist fucking her over again. Or maybe it'll go easy on her, just this once. You never know.

The reason for all this is because I heard someone say that everyone wanting it to be Ace so fucking badly in-universe but it just. Isn't. Was a fun idea, so I kinda took that and had a deep inner monologue about it I wanted to post. I'm not really expecting this to convince anyone or anything, but I still wanted to point it out.

[didalexiabreakupwitholgayet]

Do you think Alexia should have renewed her contract? I've read and seen some interviews where she says she doesn't see herself wearing another shirt and that she would only leave if the club asks her to but it's pretty fucked up to see the hate she constantly gets and how she's always the one to blame for everything that happens with barça :( I'm not her fan but I've noticed that some culés hate her and I still don't understand why. What has she done to make them hate her so much? She seems to me such a genuine person and so committed to the club and the team to be treated like that. How do you as her fan put up with someone you love/admire being treated like that?

do i think alexia should have renewed her contract? what kind of question is that? 😅 and are you trying to gaslight me? because you clearly have no idea what you are talking about. the hate she constantly gets is not from culers. the vast majority of culers love and respect alexia. why do we think we chant her name every match during the 11th minute? and why is alexia's shirt always in the top 3 every month of shirts sold?

if anything, it's a very small minority of culers hating on alexia. and guess what? these very same culers have also hated everyone from ingrid engen to salma paralluelo to jona giráldez and now pere romeu. they are not just targeting alexia. so why should what a literal handful of dumb dumbs on the internet have to say impact a woman who lives, breathes, and dreams barça?

and don't forget that for every hate tweet alexia gets from a supposed culer, it's 100 times worse from madridistas, fachas, and machistas. i've talked about the sources of her hate in that post i linked. those are the ones who have an agenda against alexia and they have nothing to do with barça.

so i would suggest you learn your history because it seems you have a lot of misconceptions. because not only do culers love alexia, but alexia loves us back!

[doodlboy]

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[persistentplums]

More Venture bro future thoughts p2:

With the timeline as a factor in Venture bros I think Hank would ride the wave of 2000s reality tv and still be an adventurer. After somehow falling into trainings and becoming certified he would probably get the attention of someone who likes his moxy (how can you not) and get him a show.

He runs around the world with a camera guy, and it’s another person pulled into the whirlwind of Hank/ventures. I would like to think bc Dermont is OSI he shows up sometimes. In classic adventure movie fashion there’s always a woman who’s antagonistic (Hank has a type what can we say).

I believe Hank would have an impact culturally like his dad and Jonas but a larger scale. He would be closer to a wrestler/Gordon Ramsey Hell’s Kitchen etc (2000s tv I can’t remember reality tv), dabble in acting, movies, tv, music. Rise of the internet means Hank Nation is a real thing, kids would imitate his stunts, Halloween costumes would be made of him, etc.

Hank would be a bachelor for his life, Hank is great! It’s just he doesn’t slow down, always “on” and all the women he likes kinda want to kill him or he’s into women who aren’t compatible. I would like to think, in a sweet Disney tv show way, Dean kids are trying to set Hank up with someone. Kids can be sweet, and they would love Hank. Even when the kids get older, but whether or not Hank settles down I don’t know. Hank feels like he would grow old and be weird worldly old man in the neighbourhood who has stories upon stories that has loved every inch of the world.

Hank is suited to the quick entertainment output internet put a pedal on so I genuinely think Hank is set for a while. He would make enough to retire still doing everything he does but with the less flashy lifestyle of his career gave him.

Dean definitely hates the idea of being on reality tv so no go for him. Dean helps at Bobbi ranch also with Hank, I’m sure they visit her never officially calling her grandma but it’s the same in energy. Dean gets motivated to help the animals on the ranch, leaning harder into science+biology. Funny enough he ends up in school longer than any Venture but still graduates.

He has bureaucratic messes happening to him, again following timeline of the show we are leaving the classic ages of heroes and villains. 2000s comics were edge on edge, we have anti heroes, villains who do psychological damage (even more) and don’t draw the line. I would like to think Dean who’s already over it, is SUPER over it. A heckler of a “hero”, who weirdly in a Brock sense is a critic of what’s “classy” villainy and gets under a lot of people skin that way. If his Monday night is ruined then EVERYONE Monday night is ruined too.

I think the boys “team up” a lot Hank is never in the same place but his adventures end up crossing Dean’s a lot. If Dean is sent to the moon to examine the water, Hank is there because he heard there might be massive worms only for both to find a villain who is trying to destroy the moon by digging into parts of it with robot worms. Stuff like that!

Dean is the type of person who has a child with a woman who is his arch. Did he know? Nope. Does she love him? Hm. But I think it would be funny that’s how Dean has kids and how a real villain would ensure their spot as Dean Arch. Visitation and “going to moms” is the most elaborate and dramatic part of each week. The kids probably don’t care, mom has a flying lair they get snatched up by.

It’s a little funny to ME, the whole set up that Dean in an effort to ignore this life he’s in has kids with a person he saw the most of and still didn’t put two and two together. Mr and Ms smith esq except we never really know if Ms.Arch loves Dean or not.

They both love their kids deeply and in a weird way Dean is glad the arch who keeps taking his kids isn’t scary to them she’s incredibly harmless to the kids just dramatic. Unlike Myra or any arch/person that has kidnapped Dean, Hank, or even Doc as kids she makes sure the kids are taken very safely and in fun ways. Then cranks up the heat for Dean for seemingly no reason.

(It’s also against my personal belief that Dean is just straight but I want to believe Jared and Dean get together but I like to think Jared and Dean still have a thing going on even when they get older.)

Dean Arch having his kids was a move nobody would do but she committed to the whole thing with glee idk what he did to her but I think it’s a move Monarch would like so that’s my reasoning. Monarch was trying to fuck RobotDoc I think he would respect the underhanded approach of marrying your nemesis and having his kids but would 100% be so aghast.

Monarch obviously believes in love, the show is all about love so I think it would be a good problem of “modern villainy” mindset. How the game is changing and things don’t stay the same. (She isn’t devoid of love, but with every joke you gotta have a consequence ykwim) with that in mind OSI also has the problem with modernization.

Nobody respects the classics anymore but we can’t keep recycling them, things need to keep moving on and I would think this is a fun problem for all characters to deal with in some aspect. Hank leaning into reality tv, Dean technically married and divorced to his arch, the new wave of villains, what heroes exist organically anymore etc

That’s it! For now!

[mariacallous]

Arvind Narayanan, a computer science professor at Princeton University, is best known for calling out the hype surrounding artificial intelligence in his Substack, AI Snake Oil, written with PhD candidate Sayash Kapoor. The two authors recently released a book based on their popular newsletter about AI’s shortcomings.

But don’t get it twisted—they aren’t against using new technology. “It's easy to misconstrue our message as saying that all of AI is harmful or dubious,” Narayanan says. He makes clear, during a conversation with WIRED, that his rebuke is not aimed at the software per say, but rather the culprits who continue to spread misleading claims about artificial intelligence.

In AI Snake Oil, those guilty of perpetuating the current hype cycle are divided into three core groups: the companies selling AI, researchers studying AI, and journalists covering AI.

Hype Super-Spreaders

Companies claiming to predict the future using algorithms are positioned as potentially the most fraudulent. “When predictive AI systems are deployed, the first people they harm are often minorities and those already in poverty,” Narayanan and Kapoor write in the book. For example, an algorithm previously used in the Netherlands by a local government to predict who may commit welfare fraud wrongly targeted women and immigrants who didn’t speak Dutch.

The authors turn a skeptical eye as well toward companies mainly focused on existential risks, like artificial general intelligence, the concept of a super-powerful algorithm better than humans at performing labor. Though, they don’t scoff at the idea of AGI. “When I decided to become a computer scientist, the ability to contribute to AGI was a big part of my own identity and motivation,” says Narayanan. The misalignment comes from companies prioritizing long-term risk factors above the impact AI tools have on people right now, a common refrain I’ve heard from researchers.

Much of the hype and misunderstandings can also be blamed on shoddy, non-reproducible research, the authors claim. “We found that in a large number of fields, the issue of data leakage leads to overoptimistic claims about how well AI works,” says Kapoor. Data leakage is essentially when AI is tested using part of the model’s training data—similar to handing out the answers to students before conducting an exam.

While academics are portrayed in AI Snake Oil as making “textbook errors,” journalists are more maliciously motivated and knowingly in the wrong, according to the Princeton researchers: “Many articles are just reworded press releases laundered as news.” Reporters who sidestep honest reporting in favor of maintaining their relationships with big tech companies and protecting their access to the companies’ executives are noted as especially toxic.

I think the criticisms about access journalism are fair. In retrospect, I could have asked tougher or more savvy questions during some interviews with the stakeholders at the most important companies in AI. But the authors might be oversimplifying the matter here. The fact that big AI companies let me in the door doesn’t prevent me from writing skeptical articles about their technology, or working on investigative pieces I know will piss them off. (Yes, even if they make business deals, like OpenAI did, with the parent company of WIRED.)

And sensational news stories can be misleading about AI’s true capabilities. Narayanan and Kapoor highlight New York Times columnist Kevin Roose’s 2023 chatbot transcript interacting with Microsoft's tool headlined “Bing’s A.I. Chat: ‘I Want to Be Alive. 😈’” as an example of journalists sowing public confusion about sentient algorithms. “Roose was one of the people who wrote these articles,” says Kapoor. “But I think when you see headline after headline that's talking about chatbots wanting to come to life, it can be pretty impactful on the public psyche.” Kapoor mentions the ELIZA chatbot from the 1960s, whose users quickly anthropomorphized a crude AI tool, as a prime example of the lasting urge to project human qualities onto mere algorithms.

Roose declined to comment when reached via email and instead pointed me to a passage from his related column, published separately from the extensive chatbot transcript, where he explicitly states that he knows the AI is not sentient. The introduction to his chatbot transcript focuses on “its secret desire to be human” as well as “thoughts about its creators,” and the comment section is strewn with readers anxious about the chatbot’s power.

Images accompanying news articles are also called into question in AI Snake Oil. Publications often use clichéd visual metaphors, like photos of robots, at the top of a story to represent artificial intelligence features. Another common trope, an illustration of an altered human brain brimming with computer circuitry used to represent the AI’s neural network, irritates the authors. “We're not huge fans of circuit brain,” says Narayanan. “I think that metaphor is so problematic. It just comes out of this idea that intelligence is all about computation.” He suggests images of AI chips or graphics processing units should be used to visually represent reported pieces about artificial intelligence.

Education Is All You Need

The adamant admonishment of the AI hype cycle comes from the authors’ belief that large language models will actually continue to have a significant influence on society and should be discussed with more accuracy. “It's hard to overstate the impact LLMs might have in the next few decades,” says Kapoor. Even if an AI bubble does eventually pop, I agree that aspects of generative tools will be sticky enough to stay around in some form. And the proliferation of generative AI tools, which developers are currently pushing out to the public through smartphone apps and even formatting devices around it, just heightens the necessity for better education on what AI even is and its limitations.

The first step to understanding AI better is coming to terms with the vagueness of the term, which flattens an array of tools and areas of research, like natural language processing, into a tidy, marketable package. AI Snake Oil divides artificial intelligence into two subcategories: predictive AI, which uses data to assess future outcomes; and generative AI, which crafts probable answers to prompts based on past data.

It’s worth it for anyone who encounters AI tools, willingly or not, to spend at least a little time trying to better grasp key concepts, like machine learning and neural networks, to further demystify the technology and inoculate themselves from the bombardment of AI hype.

During my time covering AI for the past two years, I’ve learned that even if readers grasp a few of the limitations of generative tools, like inaccurate outputs or biased answers, many people are still hazy about all of its weaknesses. For example, in the upcoming season of AI Unlocked, my newsletter designed to help readers experiment with AI and understand it better, we included a whole lesson dedicated to examining whether ChatGPT can be trusted to dispense medical advice based on questions submitted by readers. (And whether it will keep your prompts about that weird toenail fungus private.)

A user may approach the AI’s outputs with more skepticism when they have a better understanding of where the model’s training data came from—often the depths of the internet or Reddit threads—and it may hamper their misplaced trust in the software.

Narayanan believes so strongly in the importance of quality education that he began teaching his children about the benefits and downsides of AI at a very young age. “I think it should start from elementary school,” he says. “As a parent, but also based on my understanding of the research, my approach to this is very tech-forward.”

Generative AI may now be able to write half-decent emails and help you communicate sometimes, but only well-informed humans have the power to correct breakdowns in understanding around this technology and craft a more accurate narrative moving forward.

[gl8m]

im so fucking sad

[stil-lindigo]

lighthearted.

if this comic resonated with you, please consider donating to this palestinian escape fund (vetted by @/nabulsi and @/el-shab-hussein) as it is less than $7,000 away from it's goal.

i turn 24 today. To celebrate, I made this comic to be a spiritual successor to lead balloon, a comic in which I talked about the darkest period of my life so far.

A lot has changed since my 23rd birthday and this one. My priorities have shifted a lot, in ways that I think are mostly good. But i think the best part about today is that suicide has gone back to being a far away notion. I'm really lucky, and I'm grateful for that.