#but im not gonna be like. WHY ARE YOU PAINTING THE PUMPKIN RED

[oflgtfol]

im becoming the designated sunday craft person which i like bc i love being paid to just do crafts for 2 hours AND i like doing crafts AND its making me get better at interacting with kids. im still awkward but im also just an awkward person in general so i feel like im becoming less Uniquely Awkward Around Children because of this

[marauderundercover]

Taking Chances Ch. 18: Girl’s Night (Heroes/Villains)

AO3

Prev

First

Teleporting back into her room in Gotham, Marinette flops onto her bed. Passing Kaalki sugar cubes and Tikki a cookie, she suppresses the urge to scream into her pillow. She was sick and tired of Hawkmoth. Sick and tired of being the one who has to fix everything. She just wanted one week with no Hawkmoth, no akuma attacks. But no. Of course not. Of course he just had to send out a stupid akuma every single day. Because why not. How’re people supposed to know he’s still being the main villain of Paris if he takes a freaking day off? Once she finds out who he is, she’s going to punch him in his stupid face. A knock on her door pulls her from her plotting ways to get back at Hawkmoth. 

“Come in.” She sighs, sitting up and forcing a tired smile on her face. 

“Marinette, your father wanted-” Selina starts, pausing as she looks her over. “Come on kitten, we’re having a girls day.” She says. Marinette raises an eyebrow. Sure she’d met Selina before, but they hadn’t really hung out yet. 

“What?” She asks. 

“You look exhausted and angry, sweetheart. Spending too much time with these boys isn’t going to help. So you’re gonna grab anything you need for an overnight trip and we’re going to go watch movies and eat junk food til we’re sick.” Selina instructs. Marinette grins, jumping up and shoving stuff into her backpack. She puts Kaalki’s glasses into her purse and lets her and Tikki fly in before she turns to Selina. 

“Ready!” She says, practically bouncing up and down in excitement. It’d been ages since she’d had a girls day with anyone. She was so ready to just take a break and be silly. 

“Well come on then. Harley and Ivy are going to adore you.” Selina says, slinging her arm around Marinette’s shoulders. Somehow, they manage to not see anyone on the way to Selina’s car. Which is weird, but it is a weekday so everyone probably had something to do besides sit around the manor. Pulling away from the manor, Selina flips on the radio, the new Jagged Stone song blasting full volume.

“Nice taste in music.” Marinette says with a wide grin. Selina smirks. 

“I have to like the man at least a little, his designer is one of my kids after all.” She says. Marinette smiles, a warm feeling flooding through her. Selina didn’t have to accept her with open arms, she didn’t have to treat her like she was her own daughter. But she did, and Marinette was so thankful for that. Thankful that even so far away from her Maman, she still had a Mom there for her. The two nod along to the music, scream singing the chorus together as the car pulls to a stop in front of an apartment building. Marinette glances at the building, suddenly nervous. Would Harley and Ivy like her? Or would they just tolerate her for Selina. 

“Don’t make yourself nervous, sweetheart. Harley and Ivy are two of the sweetest people I know. They’re gonna love you.” Selina says reassuringly, reaching over and squeezing Marinette’s shoulder. Marinette lets out a breath before nodding. 

“Okay, let’s go.” She says, grabbing her bag and jumping out of the car. She follows closely behind Selina, not wanting to give anyone the chance to get between them. You could never be too careful in Gotham. They walk into the building and go straight into the elevator, Selina pushing the button and leaning up against the wall while they wait. Marinette bounces on the balls of her feet, excitement and nerves bundling together. The second the elevator stops, Marinette’s out, following Selina down the hall. She pulls out a key, winking at Marinette before turning and unlocking the door. 

“Honey, I’m home!” She calls, and Marinette’s jaw drops. The apartment was quite literally covered in plants and vines. They were beautiful. She grins as one of the vines near her leans towards her, a small flower blooming at the end of it. 

“And who did you bring with you?” A tall woman with red hair asks, walking into the room. The designer inside of Marinette instantly has a million questions about the woman’s outfit. It seemed to be made entirely of plants, but she could also tell that they were still alive. She had no idea how the woman had managed that, but she guessed that it was something that couldn’t be replicated for someone else. 

“I’m Marinette. Nice to meet you!” She says with a wide smile. The woman, who Marinette assumes is Ivy, grins back. 

“Nice to meet you, Flower. I see you’ve already made a friend.” She says, gesturing to the vine which was now wrapped around Marinette’s wrist. Marinette giggles. 

“Well, I was hoping they liked me and that’s what this was. I have a garden back in Paris, and I’d hate to find out plants actually hate me.” She says. Ivy shakes her head. 

“No worries there. They adore you, it’s a little odd if I’m honest.” Ivy says, dodging Selina who tries to flick her. 

“Did I hear Selina?” Another voice asks, a short blonde woman walking into the room. Her hair was short and choppy, the small pigtails at the top of her head dyed pink. Marinette grinned at the woman’s outfit- a Gotham Amusement Pier t-shirt, Batman pajama pants, and hot pink fuzzy socks. She wondered if her dad knows that Harley Quinn has Batman pj pants….probably not. 

“Yes, with a guest.” Selina says, plopping onto the couch and gesturing over to Marinette, who was still standing by her new vine friend. 

“Hi! I’m Marinette, it’s nice to meet you.” She says, smiling and waving with her free hand. Ivy whispers something and the vine squeezes a bit before letting go, letting her move away from the door. 

“Well aren’t ya just the cutest!” Harley squeals, running forward and giving her a big hug. “Didjya finally join your boytoy’s adopting habits?” Harley adds, still clutching onto Marinette. Selina snorts. 

“No, he beat me to her. But she’s definitely mine, too.” She says, making Marinette’s face turn red. Harley coos at her, ruffling her hair before stepping back. 

“So what brings ya here? Get annoyed with Bats already?” Harley asks. Marinette blinks in shock. Harley knows? She thinks about it for a minute, and realizes it just makes sense. They’d been fighting long enough and then he started his relationship with Selina, who was one of Harley’s best friends. It just made sense that Harley (who was extremely smart) would put two and two together. 

“No, just thought that Mari could use a girl’s day. She’s been stuck with just the boys for over a week.” Selina explains. Harley gasps. 

“The horror!” She says, making Marinette giggle. “Come on pumpkin, I’ve got the comfiest jammies ever. Oooo, and we can paint our nails! Ivy, find the movies, Selina, you’re on snacks. This is gonna be so much fun!” Harley orders, grabbing Marinette’s hand and tugging her along to one of the bedrooms, Selina’s laugh echoing throughout the apartment. 

“I did bring pjs, ma’am.” Marinette says, once Harley stops tugging her and starts searching through a drawer. 

“Bet that can’t be comfier than the ones I’ve got for ya! And call me Harley kiddo, or Auntie Harley if ya wanna.” She says, looking up from the drawer to smile widely. She looks back and cheers in victory, pulling out a pair of bright red pajama pants. Marinette snorts when she notices the logo all over the pants. 

“Really?” She asks, giggling. Harley smirks. 

“We’ll have to take a picture of us and send it to your old man. Really get ‘im riled up.” She says. Marinette nods excitedly, taking the Robin pants from Harley. This was gonna be awesome. 

---

Bruce sighs, looking at the news report from Paris from earlier. The damned butterflies were hard to track. He was used to figuring out problems quickly, and this one was taking too long for comfort. It wouldn’t bother him as much if it was anywhere else, but it was directly impacting his daughter. She was being hurt daily, and she’d even died and now she was plagued with nightmares. All because of a man with some magic jewelry. God, he hated magic. A knock on the study door stirs him from his thoughts. 

“Come in.” He says.

“Hey B, have you seen Mari? I was gonna ask her if she wanted to go get ice cream with me and Little D.” Dick asks, leaning against the door frame, Damian standing next to him with his arms crossed.

“Not since breakfast. There was another akuma attack earlier, but it wasn’t a bad one. She wasn’t injured.” He says, remembering the completely strange battle from earlier. It was some man with pigeons, and apparently this was the 34th time the man had been akumatized over pigeons. 

“Did you not check her room after the battle?” Damian asks, eyebrow quirked. Bruce sighs. 

“It was the pigeon one again. I assumed that she’d want to take a nap, if anything. She still hasn’t been sleeping well. Tim said she’s awake every morning when he comes up for coffee, whether it’s three or five, she’s up.” Bruce explains, frowning at the thought of his youngest daughter’s sleep habits. He certainly didn’t need another sleep deprived coffee addict like Tim. It wasn’t healthy. 

“Well I already checked her room. She wasn’t there.” Dick says, and Bruce frowns, pulling out his phone to send a text to Tim and call Jason. One of them had to have seen her. She never left the house without telling one of the family, unless it was for a battle. 

“What.” Jason says gruffly, Bruce is just grateful he answered. Up until a couple of months ago, Jason would have rather thrown his phone in the river than answer one of Bruce’s calls. 

“Have you seen Marinette?” He asks, getting straight to the point.

“No? Why? What’s wrong?” Jason asks, and Bruce hears shuffling as Jason rushes around wherever it is he is. 

“Nothing. I’ll call you back.” He says, hanging up. He glances down at his texts and notices Tim hasn’t seen her either. He frowns, but doesn’t panic yet. Pulling out his computer, he pulls up the tracker that was on each of his children’s phones. He scans the map, frowning when he sees that her phone is still in the manor. In her room. He stands and swiftly moves past his sons to get to his daughter’s room. He knocks, waiting for an answer. None. 

“Marinette?” He calls, knocking again. “I’m opening the door.” He warns, pushing it open. He frowns at the empty room, nothing appearing out of place. 

“Do you think she had to pop back to Paris for something?” Dick asks, coming up behind him. Bruce shakes his head. 

“No, she would have told us. Suit up, she has to be somewhere in-” He stops as his phone chimes. He looks at it and feels all of the tension leave his shoulders. 

Took our youngest daughter for a girl’s day, back tomorrow XO. Of course Selina had her. 

“She’s with the Sirens. She’ll be back tomorrow.” Bruce says, suppressing a smile at the annoyed look on his youngest’s face. She was safe, and that’s what matters. Even if he was certain he’d have to listen to Damian complain for the entirety of patrol. 

---

“Make all the boy moose go WAAAAAAAAA!” Harley says with the movie, laughing loudly. Marinette chuckles, passing Tikki a cookie in her purse before sticking another spoonful of ice cream in her mouth. 

“I still like the first one more.” Selina says, taking a sip of her wine. Harley sticks her tongue out at her before turning her attention back to the movie. 

“Do you think Mia is secretly a superhero?” Marinette asks, frowning in thought. 

“What on earth are you talking about?” Ivy asks, eyebrows furrowed in confusion. Even Harley pauses the movie to turn and stare at her. 

“Stan Lee.” Marinette says with a shrug. 

“Is that s’posed to mean something to me, kid? Cause I have no idea what the hell you’re talking about.” Harley says, obviously confused. Marinette huffs. 

“Stan Lee makes a cameo in this movie. And Stan Lee is the creator of Marvel, right? He’s made a cameo in like, every single Marvel movie. So is Mia secretly a superhero? Is that why he’s in the movie?” Marinette rambles, almost flinging ice cream at Selina as she gestures crazily. 

“Sweetie, how much sleep have you had in the past three days?” Selina asks after a few moments of silence. 

“Not important. Is Amelia Mignonette Thermopolis Renaldi, Princess of Genovia, also a superhero? Does she secretly work for SHIELD? Or is she more like Iron Man, like a freelance superhero? Was she a hero in San Francisco too? Or did she take over a hero's mantle when she moved to Genovia? Cause she was really clumsy in the first movie and also super awkward, but now she’s less clumsy and she seems to be more put together, but are heroes really put together? I don’t think so. I think sometimes heroes pretend that they’re put together to make everyone else feel better when in all reality they’re seconds away from a breakdown themselves. Is Stan Lee coming to recruit her for SHIELD? Is that why he’s in Genovia? Does SHIELD have any jurisdiction there? Is there a Genovian branch of SHIELD?” Marinette rambles, suddenly stuck on the topic. Seriously, why is Stan Lee in Princess Diaries 2 if Mia isn’t a hero? Why would he-

“Kitten, take a breath.” Selina says, her hands on Marinette’s shoulders helping her to ground herself. Marinette takes in a deep breath, letting it out slowly. She blinks a few times, instantly feeling bad. 

“I’m so sorry.” She says, frowning. 

“What for?” Harley asks, looking confused. 

“For ruining girl’s night.” She says quietly. Selina pulls her into a tight hug and Marinette sinks into it. 

“Sweetheart, you didn’t ruin anything. I don’t know everything that’s going on. But what I do know, is that you rambling out a conspiracy theory about the movie we’re watching is not ruining girl’s night. Trust me. One time, we invited your brother Dick, and he ate all of the cookies by himself.” Selina says, Marinette snorts. Of course he did. “Now that’s a way to ruin girl’s night.” She adds, squeezing her once more before leaning back.

“Let's watch something that we can just get lost in and not have to think at all.” Ivy suggests, looking through the stack of dvd’s. Marinette glances over, eyes instantly catching one of her favorite movies. 

“Legally Blonde?” She suggests, Harley squeals. 

“That’s it, you’re officially ours. Brucie can fight me.” She says, putting in the dvd. Marinette laughs, laying her head on Selina’s shoulder, grabbing a handful of popcorn. She could get used to nights like these.

Next Chapter

Bonus chapter: Harley Vs Bruce

Drawing of Harley and Mari’s pajamas

Tag list: @maribat-bdbwm @vixen-uchiha @stainedglassm @liquid-luck-00 @jayjayspixiepop @jjmjjktth @mizzy-pop @trippingovermyfeet @queenz-z @thepaceperson @iloontjeboontje @waiting247 @laurcad123 @toodaloo-kangaroo @ritacrow-blog @deathssilentapproach-blog @kittenmywaythrulife @nerd-nowandforever @tazanna-blythe @jaybird-and-co @jumpingjoy82 

[agentsoftie]

Can’t Help Falling In Love ( S.R )

summary: let’s look back on the milestones Y/N and spencer had together! Let’s look back to the first time they met, all the the way to the engagement!

a/n: thanks @thestrawberrygirl for helping me out with the plot! also this mentions Pride and Prejudice and I’m not a literature buff so if something’s are wrong, sorry I’m advance! also this is in 3rd person and ig technically im narrating! also the end is inspired by @agenthotchner’s fic birthday cuddles which I 100% recommend you check out afte reading this one!

paring: spencer reid x (f!) reader

warnings: cotton candy fluff 🍭

word count: 2k

requests: open!

tagging: @marshmallowtraver, @criminalmindsmoodrn, and @ghostly-angelic

remember to like and reblog!!

“Marry me”

Woah, let’s rewind, shall we? I mean, who likes to start at the end. That’s boring. So instead let’s start at the beginning like you would in any good story. Except in our case, a love story.

Our story starts off at the one and only coffee shop! It was a particularly quiet day. Although that’s what you expect on a Tuesday at 3pm. Y/N was the only one there working since her co-worker was on break. She was cleaning up a couple of things on the counter when in walked in, Spencer Reid.

“Hi, what can I get you?” Y/N said.

“Um, I’ll have your holiday special.”

“It’s the middle of September, there are no holiday specials.”

“Oh well, can you make it? I’ll pay extra.”

“Yeah, fine I guess. It’ll be 5.75”

He pays the amount with a dollar tip then goes and sits down. Being the only one in the shop she doesn’t ask for his name since that would just be a waste of time. So instead of a name, she draws a little pumpkin. And walks over to his window-side table for two.

“Here you go!” She says while handing him his special. “Be careful with it though, the pumpkin took like 5 minutes.” She says while he looks at the pumpkin in front of him and chuckles making her smile.

“Uh, thanks.” He says awkwardly while looking at her.

“Well yeah, no problem.” She responds blushing. All of a sudden his phone starts to ring.

“Oh shit! Sorry I really have to go, work.”He says while quickly getting up.

“Oh no yeah, don’t worry.” She says while smiling in confusion.

“Hey, I know it's weird and all but would you possibly wanna exchange numbers or something. I mean you don’t have to obviously.” He rambles awkwardly.

“Uh, sure!” She says while showing him her number. “I’m Y/N by the way.”

“Spencer, Spencer Reid. Well, Dr.Spencer Reid to be specific.” He says smiling.

And with that, he was gone. Gone like the wind on an October morning. “Dr.Spencer Reid. Huh. I like it.”

Wasn’t that adorable. I think it was. Now let's fast forward 3 weeks to Y/N and Spencer’s first date.

First dates can be terrifying. Will it go well? What if they ghost? What if it was all a prank? What if they turn out to be a crazed serial killer who’s on the FBI’s most wanted list? But all of these thoughts are normal, well maybe except for the last one but that’s a whole different story. Now this date was different for Y/N. This was the first date she’s had since her terrible, horrible, atrocious relationship that lasted way longer than it needed to.

Suddenly there was a knock at the door. Y/N waited 1 minute before opening the door to make it look like she wasn’t waiting. “You look stunning,” Spencer says while eyeing her up and down. She was wearing a black romper paired with gold jewelry. “And so do you.” She says while looking at his casual black suit.

“Uh, I got you these.” He says while handing Y/N a bouquet of sunflowers. “Oh Spencer, you didn’t have to.” She said while finding a vase to put them in. “I mean, how did you even remember?” She says while coming to face him. “Eidetic memory remember.” He says while looking down at his watch. “Now come on, or we’re gonna be late.” He says while grabbing her arm.

“Where are we going, Spencer?” Y/N says in the car. All she could see were the stars in the pitch-black sky above her. “Are you gonna kill me? Cause you know for being an FBI agent you could definitely get away with it.”

“Y/N, I’m not going to kill you. And, bam, here we are.” He says while pulling up to a rest stop lit up with dim lights and telescopes. “Hope, you like the stars.” He says while Y/N steps out of the car a gazes upwards astonished at the number of stars in the sky. “Oh, and pasta,” Spencer says while grabbing a picnic basket from his car.

“Spence, this pasta is, amazing.” Y/N says while devouring the pasta.

“Yeah, you could say it's a family recipe.” He says while looking at her clean herself up smiling as if this was the best thing that life could ever offer. “Do you like stars?” he says after realizing he was staring.

“Yeah actually. I know it’s stupid but when I was younger my mom once told me that whenever I feel say, I should look up at the stars and just tel the all of my problems. And that somehow they would hear me and they would help.” Y/N says while looking up at the stars and then to Spencer who was dreamily gazing.

“No, not at all. That’s actually really sweet.” He said to her while she was blissfully looking at the wonders up above. To him, in that moment, she was an angel. An absolute masterpiece. And a puzzle, that he was dead set to solve. “Hey Y/N?” He asks, causing her to rip away from the painting up above. “Can I kiss you?” She simply just smiles and nods and like that their lips were together. It was a short kiss but as soon as they pulled for air they were grinning like idiots and as red as a ripe tomato. This really was, how do you say it? Oh, the start of something new.

Aww, my heart. That was adorable right! I know, I know, you’re jealous. But so am I so don’t worry. Speaking of adorableness, next up on our little trip is “I love you.” And trust me, this one’s gonna make your heart melt.

It was a Friday night and Spencer couldn’t sleep. So what does he do, he pulls up to Y/N’s. She hears a knock at her door and opens it once realizing it's Spencer. “Spence babe, what are you doing here?” She says drowsily while scratching her eyes. “I couldn’t sleep.” That’s all he says. “Fine, um, here come with me.” She takes her to her room and sits on the bed watching Y/N while she looks around for something.

“Y/N/N what are you doing?”

“I’m looking for a very particular book, Spencer. And, aha, found it!” She says while holding Pride and Prejudice. “My mom used to read it to me when I couldn’t sleep. And now since you can’t, I’m gonna read it to you!” She says while getting into her bed with Spencer already on the other side.

He put his head on her lap and she started to stroke his hair and started to read.

“I could easily forgive his pride, if he had not mortified mine.”

And read.

“I am all astonishment”

And read.

“I love you. Most ardently”

“I love you,” Spencer says just before closing his eyes.

“I love you too,” Y/NN says after kissing his forehead.

Sweet right. Isn’t your heart just melting, because mine definitely is. I mean Jane Austin and “I love you” is just the best pairing. Now we get to meet the family! Or in our little genius Spencer’s case co-workers. But let’s be honest, family.

Y/N realized that she hadn’t really talked to Spencer like they always do in a while and didn’t like that. So she did the noble thing and got some lunch, grabbed her visitors’ pass, and drove off into the freeway.

“Y/N? What are you doing here? Spencer asked while Y/N put a take out bag from Chipotle on his desk.

“I missed you so I came here. And before you get mad at me, we haven’t been talking that much and you’ve been on the DL lately and I don’t like that. So we will be having lunch together.”

“I love you so much,” He says while pulling her in for a kiss which was rudely interrupted by the team.

“Hey, pretty boy! Who’s the goddess?” Derek asks. “Yeah! Is she single?” JJ adds on just to be scolded by Emily. “Jayje, we’re dating. Stop.”

“Uh, guys, this is my girlfriend, Y/N,” Spencer says while Y/N waves.

“No way, you got yourself a girl? Huh, how long?” Derek asks.

“Um, about a year and a half give or take.” Y/N says while looking over at Spencer nodding as if she needed the validation.

“Damn!” Penelope says. “I’m Penelope the way! Everyone calls me Garcia though. That’s Derek Morgan, Emily Prentiss, and Jennifer Jareau.”

“You can call me JJ though,” JJ adds for clarification.

“Well, hi! I’m Y/N Y/L/N! It’s a pleasure to meet you all!”

The girls crowded around Y/N while Derek went off to Spencer who was staring.

“You got a ring?” He asks.

“Yep,” Spencer says while pulling it from his pocket.

I swear if these two aren’t making you die right now then you have a heart of stone because damn! We’re really watching a Nicholas Sparks film play out right now. Except, for well you know, all the sadness. And now, bringing you all the way back to the beginning, “marry me.” Are you ready? Cause here we go!

It was a Saturday, and it was raining. No not raining, pouring. Y/N and Spencer were stuck inside today. It was just them, the rain, and their coffee. Spencer had the whole proposal planned out. He was going to take her to the rest stop he took her on their first date. He was gonna say it’s for their 2 year year anniversary, but then just get down on one knee and list all the reasons why he wants to marry her.

It was going to be perfect. Everyone was gonna be there, and that means the pasta to. They were gonna slow dance under the stars as they did in Captian America. He was gonna tell her that no matter what happens in the future, he’d always be there for her. He would be there no matter what. And that from the first moment he saw her, he knew that she was the one.

But everything got ruined because of the stupid rain. Now they’re stuck inside and all Spencer can think about is how much he wants to marry this woman sitting right next to him. How much he just wants to get on one knee and tell her that she is his world.

“Hey Spence, here is the hot chocolate.” She says while giving it to him. “Be careful it’s hot. Also, I know that technically we should be watching scary movies now since its almost Halloween and shit but can we watch a Christmas Movie?”

“Of course.” He says turning on Love Actually since it just happens to be Y/N’s favorite Christmas Movie.

He kept on looking at her throughout the movie. Something about her laughing at the same jokes she’d heard 12 times already just makes him love her even more. And the fact that every time Keria Kightly came onto the screen she would completely lose focus on everything and pay so much attention.

“Marry me,” Spencer blurts out causing Y/N to drop everything and turn to face him.

“What?” Y/N had heard exactly what Spencer had said she just couldn’t believe it.

“Marry me,”

“Spencer I-”

“I want to spend every moment of my life with you Y/N. You are my everything and I would be nothing without you.” He says while pulling out the ring. “You see this, I got this 6 months ago and I’ve been carrying it around everywhere I go.” He says while showing her the ring. “Today, seeing you just laugh at the same joke we’ve heard over 12 times now, I wanna see that laugh every day. Y/N, I wanna grow old with you. I wanna have children. I wanna have you!”

Y/N was speechless. Just looking at him in awe. “So I’m asking if you, Y/N Y/L/N would marry me?”

“Yes. Yes yes yes yes, 1 million times yes!”

He put the ring on her and it was the best experience either of then had ever had. They were both truly in love. People wonder if soulmates are real, and all I can say is to look at this love story. The stars were aligned and the pages we written. All they needed was ink, which they found!

“You have bewitched me body and soul”

[sierracolorstheworldofwords]

Wilford Warfstache x suicidal reader

TRIGGER WARNING: THEMES OF SUICIDE, LOW SELF WORTH, AND DEPRESSION. This was a request on my wattpad, and I experimented with it a little bit. So, Im sorry if the writing style is confusing, but! Mainly everything in italics is a memory, which I wrote using present tense, because sometimes memories feel like they’re happening as you remember them so yee. 

The edge of the roof tempted you, the ground below called you, and you wanted to answer its song.

 You already left the note on his desk, there was no use trying to hesitate now, you could finally do it, you could finally jump. 

You gulped, heart pounding as you put your foot on the ledge, carefully lifting yourself up, using your arms for balance. You looked down onto the hard ground below,which was  cracked just like you were, old and broken. This was the perfect place. An abandoned building in the woods, where no one could find you. No one would have to watch you die. Everything would be fine. By the time Wilford got your note, you’d be gone. Everything was ready, you were prepared, you wrote the note, you gave everything away, it was okay. There was no point in living. There was no point.

You took a deep breath, heart pounding, guts churning, your thoughts whispering at you to do it, to jump. There was no point now. You could fall now..you could fall. So, why did you hesitate? Why did some tiny part of you feel so...afraid? Why was there a voice inside you whispering, don’t?  Why? Why did you feel so sad at the thought of your own passing? Was it because of all the memories playing inside your head? 

One seemed so similar to what you were going through...but oh so different too--

Wilford holds your hand, the two of you stand on a cliff, it’s not that high, only a few feet, but you’re still scared. Even if he reassures you. Before you can protest, he’s counting to three, making your heart pound. You feel so loved, so brave, even if you are afraid. He looks at you smiling, before screaming, “THREE!” The both of you jump, plugging your noses as you both plunge into the cold water. 

WAIT! You don’t need this right now, you didn’t deserve these memories, these fragments of happiness and joy, glimmering glass shards against the darkness within you, you didn’t need them, you didn’t-- 

You’re alone, sad, looking at the sunny summer sky-- why couldn’t you feel that way? Like the sun, or the clouds? A sigh leaves your lips. The, he pops into view-- a bright bubblegum ray of sunshine, asking what was wrong. How can he help-- 

No! You couldn’t do this, you couldn’t! 

You take a deep breath and close your eyes, trying to focus. You were worthless, stupid, an idiot. People always said that-- bullies, your family, until all the voices outside of you invaded your body, filled you, became you. You shook your head, taking a deep breath-- it was time. He would be better off without you. He would be better off-- 

“Oh cupcake, I wouldn’t know what to do without you--”

That was a lie! A lie! He would be so much better off, he would be okay!

“My life was so horrible, so dark..” he whispers, the both of you underneath the sunshine, flower crowns on the both of your heads, the sky shining with light, yet also raining gently, the rain drops looking like liquid gold. “But now, that I have you, I’m so happy--” 

No! No! None of those things are true! You deserved the hurt, the pain that had been festering inside you for years. You deserved it. You deserved it. You deserved it-- 

He holds you so close, the both of you in a pink pillow fort, huddled against the rain. A movie plays on the screen in front of you, but for some reason, you’re crying your eyes out. Bawling. You sniff, “Wh-what did I do..what did I do to deserve you?” He looks at you, brown eyes holding the universe, holding you in them, “Oh bumble bee, I ask what I did to deserve you, and I can’t and.. I can’t think of a single thing, butterscotch.” 

Your laugh is as watery as the tears falling out of your eyes, “Oh god W-Wilfy..I love you.” 

He smiles, holding your hand, “And I love you, gumdrop.”

No, no he doesn’t love you, you don’t deserve him. These memories needed to stop invading your head, making you feel loved, worthy, they needed to stop! You didn’t deserve him!

Then..then why does your heart feel so heavy at the thought of flying away, of leaving him? Why? Why do you want to have another memory of his smile?

He’s smiling at you, the sunset cascading  like rivers of water color behind him, filling your eyes with violet skies, and a rosy sun, clouds looking like sunflowers. He’s so happy, holding your hand, his nose red from the cold. It’s your first anniversary. One year. You lean on his shoulder, smiling, feeling so happy. He has a pink scarf on, and a yellow puffy coat, and you’re wearing the same thing. It’s near christmas time, the world covers itself with darkness, before adorning a cloak of colorful lights, blinking like rudolph’s nose, painting the world in circles of color. It is beautiful here. 

You had never felt so happy before. 

He’s asking what you want for christmas…

The memory hopscotches into another one, another one--

You both play in his backyard, shivering in the cold spring rain, he’s asking what you want for your birthday, even though it’s a while away. The rain is cold, yet so refreshing, so alive-- 

It hops into another.. 

He’s off from work today, and it’s raining, the sky looking as grumpy as you feel. You feel so angry. So mad. He wasn’t supposed to go in today, but he did, and now, you feel like the thunder outside as you look at him. He left in the middle of breakfast, and now, he’s at the front door, wondering why you locked him out. You turn up the radio so you don’t hear him. He frowns, poofing up a whiteboard and marker, writing why he had to go to work. ‘I was saving up for something.’ it says, ‘something important.’ 

You flick him off. 

He scoffs, before erasing the writing, ‘something really important.’ 

You roll your eyes. 

He erases the board again, getting on one knee, fishing something out of his pocket, before writing, ‘We’ve been together for years now..’ he erases it again, ‘and I’ve been wondering..’ 

You put your hands on your hips, ready to go back to the kitchen, instead of staring out the living room window like a stupid idiot. 

‘Will you marry me?’ 

You gasp, your hands going to your mouth before you rush out the door, Wilford looks at you, standing up, a ring in his hand. You hug him, holding him tightly, “YES!” you shriek, laughing in the rain. 

He gave you so much happiness, but what did you give him in return? Nothing. Nothing. It was time to do it. Nothing could stop you now. You heard the familiar sound of him poofing behind you, and cautiously turned, tears gathering in your eyes, your mind overcrowding with memories--

The both of you playing hopscotch. Dancing in the rain. Playing on the beach. His birthday, the both of you throwing cake at each other. The sound of music filling a disco hall, the disco ball glittering. There’s a party somewhere, sometime, and you are dancing-- 

“Cupcake!” You heard Wilford yell, “Get down from there, darling! O-oh sugar pl-please..” You turned to him, tears falling down your cheeks as you did. He extended his arms towards you, walking slowly towards you, until he stood behind you. 

“P-please..please p-puddin…” You saw the tears falling down his face, and you sobbed as he said, “Please, get down, honey, please.. Don’t leave me.” 

You turned towards him slowly, before falling into his arms, tears running down your face and staining his shirt as you buried your face in his chest. You sobbed into the soft fabric, taking in the smell of his cologne, feeling the comfort of his warmth. You felt water landing on your head, and looked up, expecting to see rain, but instead, you saw Wilford crying, begging you to never do that again. 

“I-I love..I love you pumpkin!” He sobbed, “Please.. Please don’t do that ever again! Please! I was so scared of losing you.. I w-wanna spend the rest of my l-life with y--you.. That’s why I asked you to m-marry me..” he whispers, tears falling down his cheeks, his shoulders shaking as he sobs, taking your face in his hands, wiping away your tears, “I wanna be with you for-forever, cupcake, and I-I’ll remind you everyday-- what ever I need to do, I-I’ll do it darling! Pl-please.. Please don’t you ever try something like that again..I love you so much..” 

Your eyes water and you nod, “I-I promise I-I won’t Wilfy, I’m so sorry..” “Shh,” he reassures you, “it’s okay, I’m gonna get you the help you need pumpkin, because I used to feel that way too, all the time, before I met you, but now..now I don’t, because I got help, cupcake, all for you. And you’re gonna do the same for me, okay?” You nod, and he wipes away your tears, a soft smile on his face, “Now let’s go home, alright?” “O-okay.” 

He poofs the two of you home, placing you in your shared bedroom, tucking you in, and sitting on the edge of the bed, conjuring up a pink phone in his hands as he does. He turns it on and calls Doc, setting up an appointment for the next day. You felt so selfish, so stupid--why didn’t you think? The wedding was months away, you had things to look forward to but...but you couldn’t help but feel..unwanted. Unneeded. Like you couldn’t do anything right, like you wanted to die--no, you needed to die. There wasn’t a place for you here, and Wilford was making a mistake by wanting to marry you of all people. 

Wilford hung up the phone and turned to you, still watery eyed, “You have an appointment tomorrow, sugar plum.” he whispered, blinking as a few tears rolled down his face, “I’m sorry, d-darling I just.. I-I’m sorry.” 

“I-I don’t apologize, Wilfy.. I-I’m sorry, I-I should’ve talked to you, f-first..” you take a deep breath, “I just... I always figure you’d be happier without me--” “No! Never, sugar plum!” 

He grabbed your hands in his, and noticed how.. You didn’t seem to believe him. It felt like.. Like no matter what he said would matter, so maybe..maybe he could show you. He closed his eyes, before taking a deep breath, concentrating. “Wilford, what are you--” 

“Close your eyes.” 

You shut them, and as you did, you felt sparks swirling around your wrists, snaking up your arms, like heated kisses, before reaching your head, your eyes became filled with the sight of bright pink light. Then, your eyes became filled with something else, a vision of a pink, slightly static, scene. 

You’re in Wilford’s office, and he’s sitting alone, slumping in his chair, tears in his eyes. 

“Wilford?”

He looks up at you, seeming as if he’s fading into the darkness that surrounds him. 

“Are you alright?” No reply. 

You walk in further, going to the large window behind him and pulling the curtains apart, letting in the sun, he still says nothing. He is a silent statue, he watches you climb on his desk, sitting in front of him. You lift his chin up, causing him to acknowledge you. 

“What’s wrong, Wilfy?” His eyes water, filling with pink bubbles-- you know he doesn’t want to cry, doesn’t want to relive the memories, feel the pain of the wounds again, but you can already see the bubbles floating, floating towards the ceiling. It’s his way of coping-- since bubbles make him so happy. 

“I-I dunno..” he says, his voice sounding so broken, like a wilting flower in a vase.

You stroke his face lovingly, before sitting his head in your lap, tears finally shedding from his eyes as he sobs, your soft coos bringing him comfort.

The last remaining pink bubbles float to the ceiling, popping one by one, filling your view with pink, before you’re in another memory, another time, another place-- his bedroom. The pink fades into grey, and he’s laying in bed, only in his boxers, staring numbly at the ceiling. He’s been like that all week. Unable to get up, unable to eat. 

You can’t take it anymore. Him laying there like a lifeless doll, you can’t. He’s your friend, but you feel so much more for him. 

You pick the lock of his door, he can hear it. He sighs, baggy eyed, hair tangled, and let’s you open it-- he doesn’t care, but you do. You tell him to get up, get dressed. 

He doesn’t care. Just snuggles deeper into the covers. 

You’ve had enough! 

You stomp to his bed, pull off the covers, and grab his arm, rushing him out of bed. 

“What do you want?” He asks. 

“I just want you to -- to take care of yourself!” :”What’s the point?”

“What’s the point?” You ask, “What’s the POINT? I’ll tell you what the POINT is, you have people who love you. Babies who depend on you, friends who worry about you-- come on. You’re getting dressed, you’re eating. Don’t argue.” He takes a shower, he gets dressed, and he eats the meal you prepare. 

The clack of plates and scrapping of forks fades into something else, into a fancy restaurant. You sit in front of him, nervous, sweating, biting your lip, “Wilford, I love you.” “I love you too!” “Not..not like that! More than a friend. I love you in a romantic way.” “You do?” You can see the surprise on his face, and he can see the fear in yours, he smiles, before leaning over the table and kissing you deeply. 

The kiss feels like.. Like warmth in winter, like hot cocoa after a cold day in the woods. 

The kiss fades into something else, the sight of him sleepily kissing you, looking at you so lovingly, saying, “You mean so much to me, sugar, you don’t know how sad I’d be without you. I was so sad without you..so sad..”

Before you respond, the memory breaks, shatters, revealing others, ones of Wilford alone at night, staring at a shot glass, crying softly. Others are of him smiling at the sight of you, laughing with you, there’s more of him crying alone-- crying, crying, crying. You don’t know where you are, but the tears are overwhelming, and you start crying too. Lost in the tears of the past. 

You felt the tears on your cheeks, the soft sobs that came out of your lips as you snapped back into reality. He gripped onto your shirt tightly sobbing with you, “Please don’t leave me, c-cupcake-- I don’t wanna be alone again. Don’t you know how happy you make me? You make me so happy, so, so happy-- please don’t leave. You mean so, so much!”

The both of you hold each other, and you felt the pain inside you uncoiling, releasing, somehow, as you cried. 

“You mean so much to me and other people, cupcake.” He whispers, “If you leave.. I wouldn’t know what to do without you, please-- promise me?”  You swallowed your tears, “I promise.” 

He smiled, tears leaking down his cheeks as he pulled away from you, cradling your face, kissing you so softly, and for a moment, when your lips met his, the edge didn’t call.

[sillymeter]

oh my GOD i cannot believe i have to hold your hand and walk you through this. let’s break this down piece by fucking piece since clearly you cant think for yourself @ace-altair​ here’s the image im referring to

i dont know what some of these refer to and some of these are just borderline free spaces because blah blah stereotype. fucking whatever just say you think we dont have personalities. - emotional just say you think we’re all hysterical and leave. fucking freak - accidentally fell for a straight girl what does this mean. what does this fucking mean. anyone can have a crush on anyone. why is this in here.  - keysmash once again just say you all think we sit around going SWGHHAGBHJG and thinking about girls.  - watches lesbian tiktoks ah yes suck up to the corporation why don’t you. i don’t watch these tiktoks nor do i go on tiktok so idk what exactly this is talking about but. you know. - overuses heart emojis i dont really know what to say to this one. cant explain why this makes me mad. too tired. - can’t sit right LOLL SO QUIRKY!!!! LOLLL!  - girl in red i think the quotes mean someone else is asking this. why is this here. who fucking cares. its music. - short nails idk what to say to this one. i really am bewildered why you would put this on here. puzzling me. its not bad or anything i don’t think it’s just a weird thing to say. - wears flannels i 100% bet the only exposure you’ve had to lesbian culture is popular ( FOR SOME REASON ) tumblr posts about wearing flannel in the fall and going pumpkin picking with your girlfriend or some fucking thing. it’s clothes. it’s just clothes. - wears vans / converse ties directly in with the flannels thing. you forgot to add “wears a beanie” go ahead complete the “i don’t think they have actual styles and opinions, what do you mean they’re real people” trio. go ahead. - HNGGG- WOMEN PRETTY if i met you i would spit directly on your face. (also leaving out nonbinaries in this. i see you ) - thought you were bi once again, if i met you i would spit on you. identities can change over time. this is such a shitty thing to put on this. - can’t drive *spits on you.* go ahead and say you think we’re all stupid people who can’t think for ourselves and all we do is sit around thinking about women, crytyping, keysmashing, and spamming heart emojis in our vans and sipping starbucks. i fucking despise you - types only in lowercase BUT NOT WHEN WE’RE SCREAMING!! OMG!!! QUIRKY!! LOL!!! Sorry to say I don’t type like a proper person. Is this better?  - will fight homo-phobes something something aggressive lesbian stereotype. just say you think we’re brainless animals already i’m tired of waiting to hear you explain it and you refuse to or direct me to something completely fucking different - awkward flirt sorry you think we’re all shy widdle wesbians who can’t talk to girls without keysmashing. hope your brain gets better soon anyway thats kind of all i have to say about those in specific. let’s get into the general shittiness. - you don’t mention nonbinary people in this at all. in fact, you go OUT of your way to only mention girls. - you treat us like (shocker!) a stereotype. which is exactly what these cards do, and you shouldn’t have made them in the first place. horrible move on your part. really a bad idea. OHHH BUT IM NOT DONE YET! let’s get into the nonbinary bingo so you can understand why i want to yell at you so bad

- is out irl not all of us live in safe situations.

- “that’s not real!?” - “what’s in your pants?” - “there’s only two genders!!” - “are you a boy/girl?” - always misgendered why are all the gender bingo cards about being misgendered or having horrible things said to you? what the fuck makes you think anyone would want to hear this? genuinely why are the gender bingo cards so fucking centered around suffering? - masc/femme ( isnt femme a lesbian term? like specifically a lesbian term? i’m very tired and i might be remembering wrong.) - name is a noun - has short hair - wears a binder/bra - uses they/them - has anxiety - plans to/ takes HRT - andro-gynous - uses neo-pronouns - dyed hair ohh it’s all just a fucking nightmare isn’t it. some people are comfortable with their fucking bodies you freak. im relatively fine with mine but this card actually made me feel like i was doing something wrong for a moment because i didn’t hate my body enough. fuck you. fuck you from the bottom of my heart.  you’re completely incapable of thinking of nonbinary people as anything other than someone (skinny and white, most likely) wearing a binder with a dyed undercut. people fucking exist.  i can’t really talk much on this topic because i grew up in a very toxic western culture and i am white, but there are other cultures where nonbinary people are a thing. this isn’t a western-crafted identity, and you are treating it like one. that is horrible. EDIT: adding more to this. your view of nonbinary people is very eurocentric and westernized. that’s what i meant.  - is an artist wah wah im gonna write poetry/paint about how much i hate my body wah wah. fuck you. what a weird thing to put in a bingo space - listens to cavetown once again. these bingo cards were a fucking horrible idea. why would you ever make bingo cards from stereotypes. what is wrong with you? i might add onto this later. im tired and have not slept in a long time. these cards made me very very angry at myself because i was worried i was doing something wrong, for some reason. stereotypes are harmful.

[staticscreenwriting]

thinking only autumn thoughts - Billy Hargrove

Synopsis: Autumn is magic. Billy is soft. 

A/N: I don’t even know what this is I just liked writing it. Please let me know what you think. Thanks :)

“October Country . . . that country where it is always turning late in the year. That country where the hills are fog and the rivers are mist; where noons go quickly, dusks and twilights linger, and mid-nights stay [...]

That country whose people are autumn people, thinking only autumn thoughts. Whose people passing at night on the empty walks sound like rain. . . . “

Hawkins Indiana isn’t a spectacular town by all means. It’s small and old and boring. It’s not particularly pretty to look at either with it’s peeling paint and rusty nails and dirty shop windows.

But there’s a certain time of year, just a few days almost over by the time you realize it, where things change. It’s a feeling in the air. A whisper in the wind. A scent that reminds you of childhood memories you thought long forgotten.

It’s when all is painted in the last hues of reds and orange but fall knows it’s time to go and let winter take over. The air is cold a crips and nips at your nose and blushes your cheeks but it’s still warm enough to take walks along the fields.

That’s when he met her. He was new in town and angry. Always angry. And sad. And she was — alive. Even now, years later, he’s not sure what he ever did right for things to fall into place the way they did that night.

He was hanging out at yet another party of yet another classmate he didn’t give a shit about. And he was miserable and bored and filled with teenage angst and repressed emotions. And there she was, in the middle of a crowd, ripped jeans and a madonna shirt and bright pink lipstick. Her hair was permed to the max and she wore the ugliest hoop earrings he’d ever seen. It wasn’t like he fell in love with her then, but there was something about her that intrigued him. She looked like a downright mess. Like she was the physical embodiment of how he felt inside. Hell, she was drinking one of those disgusting wine coolers. If that doesn’t scream misery to you, what does ?

He saw her again, a few days later. Sitting on the front porch of her house, just a few down from his. She looked sad again. Still beautiful. And when she caught his eye, she started to smile. Her hair was flowing in the wind and her cheeks were flushed and the tip of her nose was red from the cold and Billy, for the first time in his life, thought that maybe he was falling in love.

Things changed that day, when they started talking. About the weather and school and Hawkins and their shared hatred of the town and how all they wanted was to get out.

They spent that night together, at the playground behind their houses. Just talking. About the misery of a lost childhood and a fuck up youth. About their families and how messed up they were. About mother and the absence of those. About heartbreak and life. And love.

And since that night things were never the same again.

Every year for all the years he’s spent in Hawkins Indiana that was his favorite time. Because she seemed to come alive then. With her hair flowing in the wind and Halloween gone and forgotten and Christmas still a month away she was — almost weightless.

And every Thanksgiving, when the nuclear families stepped up a notch in pretending to be perfect, they’d suffer through a fake display of familiar love and comfort waiting for the right moment to slip away and meet up.

The diner was almost deserted that night, obviously. Families had better things to do than have their Thanksgiving meal at the local diner with the soggy fries and the burned burger patties. But to them it was good. It was everything.

He told her he loved her there. With the pink neon lights lighting up her face like she was a character in the Blade Runner movie.

And she told him she loved him back.

It was a good time in Hawkins, the bridge between fall and winter. Where things are cold but they felt so warm inside.

Only winter inevitably came. And it came with cold and fury and heartbreak.

It’s years later that he gets to witness another Thanksgiving in Hawkins. Another magical moment between fall and winter. Only it doesn’t seem to magical when he arrives.

The occasion isn’t a happy one to begin with. It’s not the long awaited bonding of his patchwork family. No. He’s not being welcomed with open arms.

He’s welcomed by a frail looking Neil in a hospital bed hooked to machines, connected by tubes.

His dad is dying. That’s the inevitable truth of it all and Billy has no idea how to feel about this. This situation is so strangely familiar but so very different.

When it was his mom, he was a kid and he didn’t know shit about life and death and mortality. He just knew that his mom was there one day and the next she was in the hospital and then she was dead and he was sad and angry.

This time he knows so much more but his head is still kind of empty. As is his heart. His mother’s passing hit him deeply. She was this wonderful woman who held nothing but kindness and love in her heart. Neil is an abusive asshole.

But he’s still his dad and no matter how much Billy tries to deny it, he’s still just a broken boy asking for a sign of approval, a hint of pride, a tiny sliver of love from his dad.

All he gets is a snarky remark about his new haircut and a snort when he tells Neil about his job at a center for troubled youth.

So he bids Max and Susann goodbye and goes to the one place that holds good memories for him.

Only when he enters the diner it’s not a good feeling that washes over him. There’s the nostalgia of what this place holds sure, but it all feels less magical and way more sad when he has to face it alone.

He asks for a piece of pumpkin pie, which he doesn’t even particularly like but (Y/N) always loved it and some stupid ass part of his brain thinks that maybe that can bring them closer even if she’s not here.

“ You look like you could use some company “ Clarice, the waitress says but Billy declines. Not because he doesn’t like her, in fact she’s always treated him nicely when im and (Y/N) came around, no he’s just really shit at small talk. And that’s what she’s gonna expect from him.

So she walks off and for a moment he’s left alone with his soggy fries and a U2 song playing over the stereo.

Then the clicking of heels catches his attention and it’s just ridiculous how fast his heart starts to beat when he looks up and is greeted by (Y/N) walking towards him. Like it hasn’t been years since they have last seen each other. Like they haven’t broken up a long time ago. Like their last meeting wasn’t yelling and tears and heartbreak and throwing clothes out of windows.

But it all feels like a lifetimes ago. Like it happened to two completely different people. And all that’s there right now is this immense warmth spreading through his body and consuming him.

“ Hi “ she says and smiles and suddenly the diner isn’t so sad anymore.

She looks so different. Her hair isn’t permed anymore and the lipstick is now red instead of hot pink and she’s wearing gold studs instead of pink hopps but there’s still that shimmer of wonder and passion in her eyes and she’s still smiling like the girl she used to be. She’s a different person now but she’s still everything good in the world. At least to Billy.

“ Hi “

“ Can I sit down ? “

What a question.

“ Of course “

They’re quiet for a moment but there’s a tension building. Like the air before a thunderstorm. Electric.

“ I like the haircut. It suits you, I always told you. “

She had. But the mullet was his thing. The physical rebellion against his dad’s stupid rules and restrictions. Also he looked fucking cool and anyone who says differently is clearly wrong.

“ Thanks. You look — “ Billy knows he’s biased.This girl is part of all his happy memories of the last few years. She could be wearing a paper bag and shave her head and dye her eyebrows green and he’d still think she is gorgeous.

“ — good “

That’s fucking lame, honestly. But his heart is beating way too fast to come up with a proper answer.

“ Clarice called me, thought you looked sad. Like you could use some company “

They just fall back into conversation, like nothing has happened. Like they’re old friends who don’t have a shit ton of baggage. Who don’t have a backstory. Who didn’t love too fast, too hard, too much.

“ … and he’s dying. We know it. He knows it. I just — I feel like I should be sad, you know ? Like I should feel something. But I don’t. I don’t even feel relieved I just feel indifferent “

By the time they get to his father’s condition they’ve shared 3 milkshakes and (Y/N) has finished his piece of pumpkin pie.

“ Does that make me a bad person ? A bad son ? “

When she places her hand on his in comfort, Billy thinks he might die of a heart attack. Also he thinks he’s being fucking ridiculous. What is this ? A stupid John Hughes movie ? Fuck no.

“ Absolutely not ! This man has been making your life a living hell, Billy. You don’t have to be sad about him dying. I mean I get why you’re not happy, he’s still your dad. But you don’t owe him sadness. You don’t “

He hasn’t realized until now but she’s right, he felt like he might be owing Neil a certain kind of reaction. Sadness or pity or a hint of gratitude for — well for what exactly ?

“ He might be your father but he never stepped up to actually do his job as a dad. You’re allowed to feel the way you feel about it. “

Life gets overwhelming for Billy a lot of times. It moves too fast and sometimes he feels like it’s all spinning out of control. Like the world is turning and he’s gonna fall off. And then his breathing gets fast and his heart starts beating and his palms get clammy.

A girl from the youth center, Emma, she feels like that too, she told him. She’s 7 and she’s smart and she’s dealing with a family so much like his own, it breaks his heart. “ But then I think of my sister and my friends and my favorite song and the feeling in my tummy when I ride the teacup ride at the carnival and things don’t seem so bad no more “.

Billy looks up at (Y/N) and thinks of what they’ve been through and kissing her for the first time and them dancing to time after time at the prom he didn’t even want to go to but did anyway and had a good time and about the feeling of holding her in his arms during those magical fall nights. And then things don’t seem so bad no more, indeed.

“ Why did we break up ? “

If he’s being quite honest with himself, he knows why. It’s not one specific reason but an amalgamation of so many things. They just seem so pointless and trivial in the grand scheme of things now that he looks at it all as an adult.

“ Because we sucked “

“ We didn’t “

“ Yeah we kinda did. Billy we were both so caught in our own teenage angst and felt so miserable all the time. We were toxic for each other “.

“ What are you talking about ? You were the only thing in my life that wasn’t toxic. You were the only good thing ! “

“ See ? That’s the problem. We were so dependent on each other. I was waiting for you to fix me and trying to fix you at the same time. That’s not healthy, Billy. “

It’s the truth now that he thinks about it. While they were together, Billy hasn’t really made a move on bettering himself, not really. Yeah he’d calmed down considerably but none of those positive changes he’d ever given himself credit for. It was her that changed him and her he changed for.

And maybe his love wasn’t what made her life better either. Maybe that was all her doing. Maybe it was just growing up.

“ Do you really think we were that bad ? “ he asks and he’s scared of the answer. He doesn’t for one minute think about her regretting their time together.

“ If you’re asking me if I would do it all again, knowing what I know now. Then yes. Because I loved you Billy and when we were good we were spectacular. “

A silence settles upon them again as Billy ponders about their relationship. He’s glad she doesn’t regret giving him a chance. He doesn’t think he could live another day knowing the one person that showed him love in the last decade regrets just that.

“ So I told you why I’m back, why are you back ? “

If there’s one person that hates Hawkins just as much as he doesn, it’s (Y/N). Seeing her back here all grown up and mature, really surprises him.

“ I felt homesick. I know my family isn’t perfect but ya know, distance makes the heart grow fonder and all that shit. “

He might’ve not seen her in years but Billy can still tell she’s lying. Some things never change.

“ That’s bullshit. You hated Hawkins, what changed ? “

(Y/N) cracks a grin because of course he could tell that she wasn’t honest. It’s Billy.

“ I don’t think I hated Hawkins as much as I hated myself in it. It was just easy to blame everything on the town and the people except of taking a look at myself, you know ? “

“ Sure, doesn’t answer the question though “

“ Well, remember after prom when we sat by the quarry and you asked me what I wanted to do after school and I told you I wanted to write a book and you told me you wanted to help kids who are going through what you went through ? “

“ I do “

It was the first night Billy ever told anyone about his plans for the future. He wasn’t really one to spill his guts to people, still isn’t. So this meant a great deal. Especially since he didn’t really believe his plan was ever going to come true anyway. But she had been so honest and vulnerable with him then, it only felt fair to give something back.

“ I have been trying to write this stupid book for years and I just feel blank whenever I start a new idea. So I really started thinking about what it is that I want to write about, what makes me feel. Sad, angry, happy — just anything, really. And it all came back to Hawkins. Hawkins and you “.

Billy doesn’t think he’s the kind of guy people write books about. He’s not special or intriguing or even particularly funny. But this is (Y/N) and she’s always seen him differently.

“ So I came back here, for Thanksgiving. For the red leaves and the cold wind and that short time a year where things seem — lighter”

So it isn’t just his nostalgia clouded imagination that makes that time of year look magical to him, if she feels it to it must mean something. Anything.

“ You were always happier that time of the year and I could never figure out what it was “

“ It’s when I met you “

It’s like a thunderstorm rolling through his body. Lighting strike to the heart. He’s played this scenario over in his head for so many times but never has he thought he was the reason for her happiness. That he made such a difference.

“ I still love you “

That’s the fundamental truth of it all, really. He loves her and he’s never stopped. Not saying it out loud seems like a disservice to both of them.

He’s not become a better man for her, he did that for himself. But the better man he is now, he’s deserving of her love. He’s someone that’s good enough for the woman she is now.

“ Do you think we still stand a chance ? “

She softly takes his hand in hers again, her hands still so much smaller than his and way softer, way warmer.

“ The kids we used to be ? Absolutely not. We can’t go back to that. But the people were are now ? I don’t see why not. I like who you are now. I like that you went out and did what you always wanted to do. That you’re so soft on the inside and loving and that you put so much effort into helping kids. I like that you still show up here when your dad is sick even if you have every reason not to. I could love you now. “

Really that’s enough for him.

“ Can I kiss you “

She nods and leans towards him. And she feels warm and tastes like pie and cigarettes and her.

And suddenly the magic was back, full force. And no winter and no cold and no frost would take it from him this time.

It’s another late fall a year or two later when they sit on a swing set much like the one behind their houses when they were younger and more bitter.

Her hair is still flowing in the wind the way it always did and he cheeks have not lost the subtle blush brought on by the cold.

One gloved hand holds on to the chain of the swing while the other grabs tightly to the book she’s reading from. Aloud and with so much passion and love in her voice, it makes Billy’s heart grow 3 sizes at least.

It’s a special time of the year for a different reason now. All of the year is magic now that they’re together again with no underlying anger no repressed sadness, no misery. Just them.

It’s special now for it’s when she holds the finished product of many sleepless night in her hands. Of tears and frustration and more love and passion and longing that she could ever properly describe.

And Billy, he holds the other special thing in his arms. The one that graced them just a few weeks earlier when the air was still warm. She’s tiny and perfect and she’s all Billy and (Y/N) ever wanted in life. It’s her first fall, her first time on a swing, softly rocking in her father’s arms. Her first spark of magic.

“ … and as they sit on the porch, coated in the golden glow of a setting october sun, all is well and warm in their hearts. For maybe obstacles had to be overcome and mountains had to be climbed in order to end up here. Sometimes people meet at the wrong time in life when things are cold and bitter and filled with a sadness that is too much for two people to contain. But sometimes, and they both know how rare these are, sometimes there’s a right time. A second chance. For people who are meant to be together. They were granted such a chance and so they took it, reaching out and grabbing it and never letting go, ever.

So that october evening, with the red sun setting upon the horizon they were both so very aware that with all odds against them, they still managed to come out just fine in the end. Like boats against the current they managed to reach the shore, not unharmed but alive. Maybe more alive than ever before.

And with the waves it washed away the hurt and the bitterness and all that was left was them and love and magic. “

When she finishes reading she looks up at him with a shy glance. She’s nervous. This is the most vulnerable she’s ever felt. This is years of work and dreams she’s been harboring for a lifetime.

“ Do you like it ? “

“ You wrote a book about us “ Billy says and smiles.

“ No “ (Y/N) replies “ I wrote a book about love, we just happen to have a lot of that in our lives. “

Hawkins Indiana isn’t a spectacular town by all means. It’s small and old and boring. It’s not particularly pretty to look at either with it’s peeling paint and rusty nails and dirty shop windows.

But there’s people here that can change things, that make it worth it. It’s a feeling in the air. A whisper in the wind. A scent that reminds you of childhood memories you thought long forgotten. It’s the smile on her face when she looks at Billy and the sound of his daughter’s heartbeat and the love that surrounds them. Always. He knows it sounds cheesy but there’s no denying that it’s all a little magical.

[skizmin]

haunted house!au with lee minho

prompt: minho falls in love with the actor that jump scared him inside the haunted house at a carnival

genre: fluff???? would it be anything else???? in my happy angst-makes-me-cry household???? pfft.

for: im sorry this one is lightly gender specific for females!! but the only female not made is about dressing as wendy for a costume party which some of my male readers might be uncomfortable with!! (i didnt even think abt it when writing it bc me and one of my guy friends have respectively gone as peter and wendy to costume parties)

warnings: gore mention stuff but its haunted house costumes, swearing ofc but nothing extreme (no slurs).

yo anyway so minhos one of my three ults wowzas Can He Not?

alright lets get to it

You Are Broke.

your major subject at uni really does cost a lot of money. money you have to provide. it sucks basically

whenever you think abt money you have to hold back tears bc You Have None.

:(((((

sorry anyway

one of your housemates is also broke and loves scouring the internet for quick and easy ways to get money, no matter how crazy they are

one night she comes back with an idea that peaks your interest, probably purely bc your card just got declined ordering a coffee at mcdonalds

“y/n you HAVE to do this one!!!!!”

you sigh like “if its selling my sub topic notes online again, im not doing it. i didnt even know someone could be so harsh about highlighter use???”

your housemate is all pfft im not putting you thru that again

“no!! basically, you get $80 to show up for 2 and 1/2 hours at the haunted house place at that carnival nearby!! dude we gotta, its just to scare the fuck outta people and we can like!! cover ourselves in blood!! n stuff!!”

at first your mind was like lmfao 2&1/2 hours at a haunted house?? no fuckin way

but then you remembered your job only paid you $14.78 an hour so you were doubling your pay in half the amount of time

“when?”

“20 minutes, get out a creepy white dress or something that looks creepy that you can get dirty.”

you fricken ran to your room

you ended up getting a cheap nightgown that you bought to dress up as wendy from peter pan to a costume party, it cost like $2 you really werent sad to see it go

“y/n!! hurry up!! they have makeup there!!”

you bolted out the front door in your nightgown, runners and a big coat with nothing but your wallet phone and keys in your pocket

you were really broke and desperate, youd already accepted it

when you got to the carnival you were in awe, it had been a fair few years since your last one and the colours and lights and pounding music and laughter just

wow, carnivals are so pretty

the guy running the haunted house came in and let you guys in so you didnt pay admission and quickly sat you down at some tables and told you you could do the makeup yourself or got someone else to

you, feeling daring and thinking fuck it, im gonna make the haunted house goers shit their pants, decided to do your own makeup

to pair with your blue nightgown you simply gave yourself extremely dark and sullen eyes with the power of purple eyeshadow, you paled out your lips and gave yourself a lil nosebleed, and on top of that you painted a random creepy looking symbol on your forehead in blood, blackening it our a little with an eyeliner pen to make it seem like it was cut open.

you were lowkey proud of your work

okay now it was show time, you were briefed on where in the house you could stay and you were told how to act and basic rules (no touching, get help if theyre freaking out too much, etc)

so now, you were in the dimly lit narrow hallways of this makeshift house when you heard the tell tale screams of your housemate meaning theres a group coming and theyd just attempted to jump scare them

you hid behind a black sheet, disguised as a wall, before your victims came up through your hallway

you heard some talk of “felix you know its fake, calm down.” before you saw some shadows pass by

the group was big, maybe 10 people? you werent sure, but you went forward with your plan anyway

just after theyd passed your hiding place, you stepped out from behind them and stood idly and innocently in the centre of the corridor before you put your head down and started whistling a nursery rhyme

you heard a few gasps and a few squeaks before you looked up with an unreadable expression

you saw them looking at you and some of the guys ushered some of the others away though one guy stood there looking at you strangely

you just tilted your head at him before taking your OPERATION: SCARE mission a step farther

bringing your hands up to your ears you let out a ear piercing scream and squeezed your eyes shut before running through the group and turning the corner at the end of the small corridor

you heard a soft what the fuck was that and a less soft language! before you turned and waited for them to turn the corner

as they were walking up the corridor however (theyd resolved to moving with just shuffles of their feet) you heard a new voice speak up. it was somewhat playful and honeydew like, especially with the phrase “not gonna lie, they were really fucking pretty.” which was followed by a chorus of “miNHO”’s and “thIs iS NoT The TiME bUddY” and “i think felix is crying”

you were taken aback

did he mean that? was that the one looking at you earlier? what the frick?

you were still blanking out, completely flabbergasted even when the group turned the corner

of course, you were unprepared, you planned to scream a loud “GET OUT!” to them but all that left your mouth was a squeak as you met eyes with the stranger again, red flushing up your neck

you ran away quickly, ducking into one of the rooms dressed up to look like a metal asylum holding centre

“hyung wtf theyre the scariest one yet”

“you guys go ahead, ill be there in a second”

“hyuNG YOURE GONNA GET KILLED DONT YOU WATCH HORROR MOVIES YOU NEVER SPLIT UP!”

“let go jisungie, hyunjins looking at you like you disgust him right now”

a chorus of laughs echoed through the hall

why was honeydew voice not going ahead?

your cheeks were still kinda red as you waited, listening for the male to go away

you slowly inched towards the doorway of the small room you were in, the flashing light behind you somewhat hindering your senses as you peeked through the shredded and knotted white sheet hanging from the top of the doorway but you couldnt see anyo-

“BOO!” “HOLY SHIT WHAT THE FUCK” you scReAmed and jumped backwards, only to hear some cakcling from behind the sheet where the boy from earlier had appeared

“WHAT THE HECK KNUCKLES DUDE!”

“heck knuckles?”

“DONT JUDGE ME MY HEART IS BEATING A MILLION MILES PER HOUR RIGHT NOW”

“hmm? really?” you looked up to see the boy smirking playfully at you. 

he looks like a cat

“aH yeAh??? you just scared the crap out of me!!!1!1!!!” you huffed, amused by him behaviour. you heartbeat still hadnt calmed down

“oh? you sure it wasnt just from looking at me?” he leaned in slightly, making the question seem innocent

“mmhm, youre that ugly that i flew halfway across a room.” though the comment was monotonous and you had a bored look in your eyes, it was purely for bantering

“nice try pumpkin, nice try. anyway, when do you finish with the whole im an ugly ghost coming to kill you thing? youre terrible at it by the way.”

your breath hitched and a blush came up your neck

“o-okay listen here, uh, boy! 1, i am Not a Pumpkin. 2, i dont know you. 3, im fucking amazing at this ask your friends and 4, i dont know you” you awkwardly coughed at the end

he furrowed his eyebrows at you “its minho, and the whole point is i want to get to know you.” he beamed at you after this

you felt lightheaded honestly, it was all happening very quickly under weird circumstances

but still, you muttered back to him a soft “i get off at 10:30″

he smiled wider, triumphantly, “10:30?”

you nodded and he took a couple of steps back, out of the room

“see you then i guess!” at this, he winked, before he jogged off to find his friends

you fell back against a wal

lwhat the frick frack paddy whack just happened?

you sighed, hearing the screeching and slam of a metal door, knowing you had to get back to scaring others

like,,, @ 10:33

you had all your stuff and you were walking out from behind the haunted house set up, waiting for your housemate

you honestly didnt think youd see minho. no guy is that persistent, right?

wrong.

“h-hey!!! demon child person!!!” you looked up at this

who the fuck just called me demon child person 

you saw him and holy shit

the haunted house was dark with red lighting in some places and flashing blinding white lights in others, you saw minho and you saw what he looked like, but wow, he was so much clearer now

he was absolutely gorgeous

the carnival lights against his tan skin, his dark hair, his skinny black jeans and big parka coat? you were absolutely mesmerised

suddenly you realised you were staring and he was standing right in front of you

“o-oh, uh, hi?” you could already feel the red on your cheeks

“mm, hey, wanna hang out for a bit?” he smiled at you, you saw a tinge of red on his nose from the cold

“oh, actually i uh, i came with my housemate and-”

“anD THEY’D LOVE TO GO!!” 

suddenly your housemate was next to you, throwing an arm over your shoulder and telling you to get home safely and asking you to not be too loud before shes nudging you closer to the attractive minho boy and speed walking off

“i gotta say, i like your housemate” minho looked to you with a wide smile. “should we get you some food first?”

you offered him a meek smile and shyly nodded. which he laughed at

“alright then, lets go!” he gripped you lightly by the elbow and led you through the crowd, passing some speedy and tall and colourful rides. you decided to speak up.

“sooo... after you get food, whatd you wanna do?” minho made a contemplating sound before simply saying “i dont mind, i just want to get to know you.”

oh

“uh, okay then, well uh, what do you wanna know?” “to be honest, a name would be great.” minho laughed goodheartedly, you saw the apples of his cheeks rise up and his nose scrunching slightly

“oH! riGht! im uh, im y/n”

this time he turned to you “y/n?” you nodded. “thats a pretty name, it matches you.”

you turned away mumbling a thanks before you realised he’d called you pretty

“woAh wait whAt??? do you?? have no shame??”

this time he giggled

giggled

oh my god your heart practically stopped especially when he steered you to a table for the both of you to sit down

“y/n, i dont know if you noticed but i basically sorta asked you out like 2 hours ago while you were trying to scare me dressed as a demonic creepy child, a really fucking cute one at that, you need to teach me how to do that im in awe. but yeah and then now we’re here on a spontaneous first date which i have no clue what im doing for and i really dont know you at all apart from you act in a haunted house which is pretty interesting but you were just that pretty that i stayed behind in a haunted house to talk to you. now ask yourself again, does minho ever feel ashamed of his blatantly obvious attempts at flirting? the answer however is: when it comes to you? no, never.”

he was smiling proudly at his little monologue whilst you were catching flies in your open mouth

“you...are actually the cheesiest person ive ever fucking met.”

minho laughs once again.

“honestly, ill give you all the compliments in the world if it means youll give me your number or something, even the ones that arent true”

you leaned over the table and slapped his arm lightly, grumbling under your breath about fliritng getting you nowhere in life

he simply rested his elbow on the table and his cheek in his hand, gazing at you and asking you what food you wanted

you ended up being so strung in by his his gorgeous eyes and soft looking cheeks that he had to call your name 3 times and repeat the question

bonus:

after eating some gross junk food and watching the midnight fireworks, minho bought you both fairyfloss and insisted on walking you home saying “its what anyone in their right mind would do” 

you walked along, him explaining his fear of heights and you explaining your situation of brokeness where you take almost any opportunity available

along the way he slinked his fingers through yours and placed them in the pocket of his big parka coat, smiling at you as you ducked your head to look at the ground, where youd started kicking your feet out extra to distract yourself from the affectionate gesture and calm the burning of your cheeks

when you arrived at your house, you fought over who should eat the leftover fairy floss.

you viciously shoved it into his hand, 

“you paid for it and you walked me home even though its late and cold, you keep it.”

minho looked like he was going to fight back for a minute before his eyes lit up

“ill take it on one condition, i get to feed a piece to you.” he beamed at you and you looked at him confused and skeptic

“uhhh, okay i guess?”

he picked a piece off of the stick and held it in front of you, you opened your mouth for it and he placed it in

before it could melt and you could smile at him however, you felt his hand on your cheek and a hand on your lower back tugging you forward to rest his lips on yours, moving his lips against them a total of three times before pulling back

“i know i shouldve asked, but id buy you fairy floss every day if i got to do that once.”

you were a stuttering mess, your mind was fuzzy, you missed the feeling of him so close to you already

“uh-i, i um. wow uh yeah. uhhh, yeah no its fine i um,,,, i didnt mind it actually. wait no, i uh, i really liked it?”

,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,

minho is BEAMING OH MY GOD

biggest smile of the century goes to lee minho, born in 1998

youre so red it isnt funny and he just moves the hand that was on your cheek to loosely grab at your fingers

“mm, okay then y/n, maybe if you wash the fake blood off of your face and text me ill kiss you again, for as long as you want.”

if your face was red before

oh god

oh god

you squeaked and nodded as he chuckled, lightly kissing your cheek before backing away

“get some sleep y/n, and message me tomorrow.” with that, he was walking away, leaving you to enter your house and be greeted by a squealing housemate who had witnessed the whole thing

(you took minho up on that offer, and he did kiss you, and it was longer, and it was great until his friend chris walked into minhos living room and saw you both and started screaming about keeping it PG because there were (17 yr old) kids around.)

finish! hope you like it!!

[hanorganaas]

because i hope to expose the dangers of independant living programs for neurodivergent people after my current horrible experience living in one here are some of the ways my "community living program" infantizes us:

1) upon arrival at the community they make you sign a bullying contract. this was a huge red flag for me because if this is supposed to be for adults then why do we have to worry about bullying. like? we were supposed to leave that bullshit in high school. punishments for bullying includes "being lectured by the program specialists, suspended from activities, calling your parents (this is what the fuck because legally they are not allowed disclose information to parents unless the adult is on drugs, suicidal and about to engage in something harmful or the adult gives express permission) and sitting down with the fighting parties in a room with mediators in hopes we could "talk our feelings"." i once got in trouble for "spreading gossip" after my friend made up to my bullies that i everyday i made rumors about their romantic relationships when i just said something i heard......may i add i was the only one who got in trouble tor it.

2) speaking of activities some of these events and activities are designed for high schoolers and middle schoolers including seasonal dances (okay what are 12), trips to childish museums, scavenger hunts, field trips and art therapy. maybe i would let a trip to disneyworld slide cause adults love that shit but apparently they dont have money even though they rob our parents blind to keep us in this useless programs. even for once my emotionally abusive mom sided with me on this.

3) lets talk about the art therapy for a minute. as someone who does do art i was excited for this. i thought it would be like, painting portraits, drawing pictrure what not. oh no we're talking handing out printed out coloring pages designed for kindergatiners, drawing a turkey out of your hands, making slime painting paper plates, oh and my favorite lets paint a pumpkin. and for the most simple of projects we are to talk about our feelings....like a pumpkin is gonna help from my trauma from being verbally abused by my mother and my father being absent till my 20s.

4) some of the program specialists talk like they are kindergartin teachers. they will either lecture you like a kindergartin teacher or drop to a baby voice. when i told about my promotion at my law office to the person who runs art class she drops her voice to a sarcastic baby voice and said "oh that is so wonderful." i felt like i handed her a macroni picture not like ya know i went from a file clerk to reception two days a week concuring this while manage with extreme anxiety, adhd and depression cause people love that inspirational shit. even some of the program specialists stir up the pot with drama.

5) finally the fact you can tell that this shit aint working from the way the participants behave. i have been here for two years and i have seen no emotional progress with most of participants. one person continues to lack confidence and feels she cant do anything even for a simple task from the day i met her.

as a result of all of this, many of the participants even those as old as 35 still have the mentality of children/teenagers and im not talking about liking disney, cartoons, dressing up for comic con cause to me that is more acceptable than you know bullying people. some of them are still dependant on their parents to make decisions and are afraid to piss them off. (after getting my tattoo and seeing my mom only yelled and screamed to my amusement i realized i can do anything) when the point of the program others continue to gossip and talk, even bully other people.

the point is com hab/independant living for neurodivergent communities do not care if you are successful or not they jusy want your money. they will continue to infantize you and basically direct you as far from success as possible so you can stay longer and be dependant on them.

it is my experience is why i stress the importance of inclusion of neurodivergents in neurotypical world. we know some of the most successful people are neurodivergent and thus communities like this and other programs that isolate disabled/neurodivergents are harmful because they bar you from your fullest potentional. in conclusion, people can adapt to help neurodivergents thrive and throwing them in these isolationist programs dooms you to fail.

my advice to my fellow neurodivergents whos parents are forcing you into these communities or programs fucking run and just get a coach.

[sprinklig-kindness-podcast]

Questions For Zodiac sings

What’s up guys hello how are you? Welcome to your favorite podcast 

For today’s episode, we are gonna answer  the questions for the zodiac signs,

okay in TikTok there's a guy who asks questions his name is Brennan I really don't know if I'm pronouncing his name right I'm sorry, well the thing is you have to do a duet to answer them and I think it's really funny, okay he has a series of questions for all the signs of the zodiac, I don't really know if I believe in the zodiac or not but I think it's funny, plus most of the time they always have something good to throw you off, I really don't like to classify myself as an Aries, Leo, Gemini or any sign, I don't even know who or what I am, so today I'm going to answer all the questions.

So let's get started. 

Aries  March 21- April 20

Are you really a Control Freak? Kinda

Besides your self who is your favorite leader? Ellon Musk  Period 

When do you feel the most alive? okay four things car, night, cool music, friends yeah PERIODT 

Why are you jumping into relationships? This question is not for me. I've never been in a relationship

Best kissers? I don’t think I am, I’m on average 

Favorite color red? No

Lucky Number 9? I don’t have lucky number

How rich do you want to be? I really don’t want to be rich I just want to have a decent life, but I want to save the world so I think a lot.

Would you be a great president? No

What big secret are you keeping? I don’t have a big secret, sometimes the people are more boring that every one thing 

Okay, guys, this was the question for the Aries. I think I'm 50 percent, Aries.

Next

Leo july 23- Agust 22

How stubborn are you? omg like a 100 percent I really am stubborn

The biggest heart? No 

Prefer to be around other people? yes

who are you most jealous of? nobody really

Favorite color purple? No

Like being treated as royalty? if who doesn't?

Most attracted to Aries? kinda 

Who’s your favorite comedian? i don’t have one 

How do you react when someone ignores you?

It depends on the form and the case but I guess I get angry because it's rude or if it's in the form of relationship I think I'm still trying

How loud i your roar?

okay I think I'm 60 percent Leo I don't know if this is good or bad because a lot of people say it's the most hated sign

Okay next 

Gamini may 21-June 20

Social butterfly?

I think it's when you go from place to place all the time and mix with all kinds of people so if I'm a social butterfly

Always changing your mind? cuz I have issues bro, I’m not stable, I don’t have emotional intelligence and I know cuz I made the test for know it

How well do you handle stress? I think I’m in the average 

two personalities? I have about a thousand, I think I'm going to name them, I think i have a problem 

Last important decision? make this episode and wake up 

Is your mind always racing with thoughts? yea but I’m trying to do yoga cuz maybe in the future that can be a problem 

favorite color yellow? No

slow to commit to relationships? no

What’s your IQ? I don’t know I think is low and I hate then 

How flirty are you? like a 9 I’m sorry mom 

 i think I’m a 70 percent Gemini 

so next

Sagittarius Nov 23 - Dec 21

ask a lot of questions? sometimes

how energetic are you? i think a lot

good at giving advice? I'm the worst. I can give general advice like how to take care of yourself, drink water, but in specific problems I can't do it.

Too generous? no really

How optimist are you? 5 I'm very realistic but I think anything is possible

Can you make people laugh?On a scale of one to ten, I'd say an eight

Reaction when someone lies to you?I can't remember the last time I discovered a lie, but I guess I get angry

Fav color blue? omg yess i really love blue but in blue clothes I think I look great. I don't know. Blue is my color.

The most intelligent zodiac sing? idk 

Been mistaken as rude? no 

I'm just gonna say I love the color blue

next 

aquarius jan 20- feb 19

Are you shy and quiet? No

Hard to trust other people?

no but i think that is a problem

The best listeners? i can listen but im not the best 

friends first? no 

hate being alone? i enjoy being alone

How do you help people?in any way possible

fav color black? no

Reaction when someone disagrees? I get stressed out

How many times have you broken a promise? I don't remember making a promise to anyone except myself, and I'm not going to break it.

How often do you just lose it? idk

Libra sep 23- oct 22

Are you a peacekeeper? kinda 

how charming are you? four of 10

What is your motto? You can do everything 

Admit when you’re wrong? its super hard for me

Talk someone out of something dumb?yeah

Make big plans? yeah because i really want a good life and for that i need big plans

Living your best life? im trying

fav color pink? no but its one of my favorites 

Why are you indecisive? I really don't think that I'm indecisive

What do you daydream about? collage, my crush, and be independent

 Cancer june 21- july 22

How persuasive are you? I'm not persuasive. I'd like to be.

How much do you like art? 100% i really love music, movies, films, paint but I'm not good at creating it, so I think it's better to catch it

Are you insecure? kinda but im trying to fix it

How emotional are you? a lot 

How big is your imagination? not a lot

Favorite place to go with friends? State fair 

Favorite family member? im 

Fav color white? no 

Favorite tv show? euphoria 

How moody are you? 4 of ten 

 Virgo Aug 23- Sep 22

How sensitive are you? 8-10

Afraid to speak in front of people? no 

Get mad when people don’t follow rules? sometimes

Why do you worry so much? because i have issues

What do you do to stay healthy? I exercise 30 minutes a day, try to sleep early and drink lots of water

Hate asking for help? I don't hate it but it scares me

Favorite animal? I think the chicken is the best animal in the world because you don't need to kill it to survive like cows or pigs, I love the egg and it can be your best friend forever having a give and take relationship for life, I think it's beautiful

Fav color gray? no

You talk to your self? Yes, and that's a problem, which is why I created this podcast

How clean is your room? 4- 10

scorpio oct 23- nov 22

Why are you so stubborn? because you have to fight for what you want to have 

Are you a “True friend”? yeah

How brave are you? 7- 10

What are you most passionate about? help people

How secretive are you? As a two, I hate secrets because they give me worries and I like to be in complete peace 

What pokemon would you be? pikachu

Need to be right all the time? people think that, but the truth is that I like to give my opinion and talk when I know about it, I don't like to talk about things I don't know because they can cause problems, so yeah i need it

Fav color red? no

Scale 1-10 how much of a joker are you? 6 Always tell the truth? no but I’m not a liar 

Taurus April 21 may 20

How patient are you? 2

Are you practical? yeah super and that’s why i don’t have a lot of patience 

Do you like drees up? sometimes

How responsible are you? 8

Scale 1-10 do you like to cook?  8 I love cooking, following recipes but I don't like how I cook, the taste of my dishes is horrible

Are you opposed to change? no im pro-change, change is always good and some ways

Good at minding your own business? I hate drama, getting into trouble that's not mine, I hate that kind of stress so I try to stay away from places where I'm not called, its for my mental health

Fav color green? no

Easy to make money? no really but i have some ideas 

Most reliable zodiac sign? idk

Capricorn dec 22 jan 19

How disciplined are you? like a 7

Are you a “know it all”? no, but that’s my goal 

Are you a family person? no 

Would you be a good manager? no but i can try it

Is tradition important to you? no really 

Do you expect the worst? sometimes 

Coke or pepsi products? coke but i like pepsi too

fav color brown? no

Fav music Genre? pop and rap

Do you learn from your mistakes? sometimes 

pices feb 20 march 20

are you a compassionate person? yeah

hate to be criticized? if it's not constructive to hate it

why are you always sad? im not sad always im neutral

what are you most fearful of? losing an arm or a leg, an eye, having one of those kinds of accidents, I think it's for brave people to be able to overcome that and I'm not that brave person I'd rather die Do you play any instruments? no i wish 

favorite season?fall I love it with all my being, it's cold and hot at the same time, hallowen, the sky is always beautiful, pumpkins, the color of the leaves I don't know if I could live in one season it would be fall

the wisest zodiac sing? idk

fav color purple? no

sleep all the time? no i hat sleep

do you trust everyone? no really

okay friends these were the questions for the zodiac signs, i really liked answering the questions, i'm going to post the profile of the person who created these tiktoks in case you want to make them, all the information is on my twitter, i really liked this episode i really don't like to classify myself and i think i have something from everyone, in the end we are all the same, we all have insecurities, good things and bad, so see you guys in the next episode hugs and kisses

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[kookingtae]

plan to read

with how busy ive been this past semester with college, ive had little time to read as much as i’d like to. so, im making a list to get all the fics i want to read in one place and return structure and order to my life!! dont mind me and ignore this if you want. im just gonna keep adding to this list and marking them off as i read them!

jungkook:

painting the meadow’s void - soulmate au

tattoo artist!jeongguk

(deact.)arranged marriage

zipper - best friend au

bad - badboy au

mr neighbour - neighbor au

deal - high school reunion + ceo au

accio - hogwarts au

roommate

watch me babygirl - high school + fuckboy au

lightweight - pt. 1

(deact.) kitchen counter

the truth - pt. 7

(deact.) imperfect pair - arranged marriage au

(deact.) the lionheart’s oath - knight au

proposals - friends to lovers au 

cold waters - merman au

written on the sky - ‘seeking a friend for the end of the world’ au

overtime - ceo/boss au

fall for you - fuckboy + college + hate to lust au

paper hearts - anonymous letters + best friend au

(deact.) no promises (ft yoongi) - stripper au

the swirling ways of stars - fantasy au

now we dream apart - soulmate au

yearn for me - sub!jungkook

teething - pt. 2 - bunny hybrid au

how do you like me now - sub!jungkook

quivering, whimpering - sub!jungkook

room for dessert - waiter au

a rocket to the moon - roommate au

paper doll - idol au

home after rain - blue orchids short story

below thunder showers - sci-fi au

behind these walls

arrivals - hopeless hearts au

mine

revelation

(deact.) threats & paybacks - sub!jungkook

(deact.) the truth we didn’t know - royal + hanahaki au

givenchy & gold

(deact.)adult world - truth or dare au

(deact.) necessary

lucidity - best friends au

(deact.)nothing better

three reasons - hate to love au

(deact.)defects - soulmate au

why people fall in love - fwb + fake dating au

(deact.)of you? honestly - badboy + high school au

(deact.)angel in the darkness - mafia + prostitution au

something in the water - camping + friends to lovers au

through the flames (and into the lava) - dragon au

ribbing

do you feel it, sugar? - exhibitionism + dirty talk

flirt - fuckboy + college au

the blue princess and her red rose - prince au

the universe of us - dream + fantasy + slice of life au

playing with fire - idol + friends with benefits au

whipped cream - roommate au

(deact.)a chance taken - childhood friends au

laundry day - domestic au

beautiful in white - wedding day au

free the animal - fuck buddy au

satisfied - incubus + kidnapped au

jealousy games - ex jungkook ft. jimin

all i’ve got - badboy + best friend au

no decency - stepbrother au

stuffed pumpkin

two rotten apples - hate to love au

out of the blue - dogboy hybrid au

his - werewolf au

i wont stop you - vampire au

on the hotline - phone sex

five dates - arranged marriage au

what happens in vegas - ex boyfriend + childhood sweethearts au

in motion - masturbation club au

my way - fuckboy au

motel and summer nights - enemies to lovers au

comfort inn ending - breakup au

necessary

say you wont let go - soulmate au

our first and last - scifi + soulmate au

ice prince - figure skating + enemies to lovers au

the millionaire and his lover - ceo + friends to lovers + fake dating au

long lost - celebrity + childhood friends au

arrest me - detective au

what are best friends for? - high school + best friend au

i got you on my mind - fuckboy + soulmate au

the seven deadly sins - knight + royalty au

every breath you take - stalker au

mercury - lawyer au

we need less

competitive edge - college + rivalry au

sugar coated - baker + neighbor au

hittin’ her hay - cowboy + farmer au

fine art

the push - college + friends to lovers au

bad for you - stripper au

firewall down - ai/robot au

more than friends - roommate au

loving you to death - free the animal sequel

hiraeth - royalty au

ego - college + fuckboy au

a dancer’s hips

snow and ice - olympics + friends with benefits au

gold rush - track runner!jungkook + twb au

brazen touch

begin - high school au

third degree burn - dragon au + through the flames sequel

yoongi:

the devil skates on thin ice - hockey player + figure skater rivalry au

we got married - arranged marriage au

all too well - idol/makeup artist au

destruction of a muse - musician au

inked - musician + best friend au 

grey area - soulmate au

an oath for sinners - vampire + escort au

weights and measures - musician au

talking bodies - porn star au

(deact.) no promises (ft jungkook) - stripper au

liebesleid - reincarnation au

(deact.) sonata for a frozen heart - prince au

a ticket to the sun - dystopia au

after hours - tattooed rapper au

carousel - arranged marriage au

(deact.) always - mafia boss au

(deact.) the neighbours - bts neighbor au

unexpected

good girl

house rules - dom!yoongi

fatigue

heart on your sleeve - tattoo artist au

pluviophile - badboy au

mindless - brother’s best friend au

befour - fake dating au

crazy in love - college + fake dating au

we got married - arranged marriage au

you look like you need a drink - bartender!yoongi

a sadists paradise - daddy + sir kink

suga daddy - sugar daddy au

aquiver

tsundere - resident advisor + college au

pepero day - best friend + valentines day au

does this make sense? - college + playboy au

(deact.)make a move - college + friends with benefits au

unexpected - attempt to make yoongi jealous ft. tae

little demon - succubus au

(deact.)keep you warm

mr. min - ceo au

missing link - best friend au

sweet ardor - sugar daddy au

memory lane - husband au

ink nemesis - paparazzi + fake dating au

taxi 

the crown’s blacksmith - royalty au

conveniently - single parent!reader + convenience store owner!yoongi

ink petals - tattoo artist!yoongi + florist!oc

the truth between us - enemies to lovers au

taehyung:

for you - badboy au

(deact.) fireflies - punk au

slip through the seams - seam traveler + semi soulmate au

all that is gold - roommate + sugar baby au

(deact.) apricity - college au

serenity of the night - boxer au

abstract - step brother au

the universe of us - dream + fantasy + slice of life au

enemy - fuckboy au

ot7:

kairos - arranged marriage au

hoseok:

(deact.) despaysement - teach nerd!hoseok to date

namjoon:

significance - english teacher au

[scootsaboot]

im just dumping all my shit today why not right. another fic that never saw the light of day -- domestic-y kinda au where rhys loses his eye in a car accident years after losing his arm. 

warnings forrr: hospitals?, d.rugs (prescribed, but still)

Rhys doesn’t really remember the accident. He’s given the details after he wakes up at the hospital; he’d been driving home and someone had ran a red light and crashed right into him. He remembers the crunching noises of the metal, and the ringing in his ears before everything went black.

“The important thing is,” the doctor says, “you’re alive.” He’s alive and breathing and so is the guy who’d hit him. Rhys is barely conscious though, and the doctor’s words are getting lost somewhere in his head. He tries to pay attention, but his eyes feel so heavy and the painkillers they’ve got him on are strong.

When he wakes up again, it’s to the sun glaring through the window, the warm light both comfortable and too much. He blinks slowly and glances at the room around him. Hospital. Right, he remembers that much. Rhys glances down, eye catching on the deep scratches and chipped paint of his cybernetic arm. He tries wiggling the fingers and finds that two of them are dead; he swears internally because repairs are expensive and he’s been trying to save up.

“You awake over there, pumpkin?” Jack’s voice is smooth and quiet to Rhys’ left and he has to turn his head entirely to see him.

“Mmmuh?” he manages through uncooperative lips and Jack just laughs and gets up from the uncomfortable looking chair he’d been sitting in and makes his way to the side of the bed.

“They’ve got you on the really good stuff,” he says, crossing his arms, and Rhys can see how tired he looks. The dark circles under his eyes are barely hidden by the discolored skin of his scar, and his hair is more disheveled than Rhys has ever seen it outside their apartment.

“You look like shit,” he slurs, and Jack huffs out a laugh.

“You should look in a mirror, kiddo,” he replies and Rhys instinctively raises his left hand to his face. His fingers press into the gauze wrapped around his head and covering his eye, wincing at the dull ache he feels.

Jack grabs his wrist and tugs it away from the injury, muttering, “don’t touch it, idiot,” with no real bite behind it. Rhys lets his hand go limp in Jack’s grasp and the other man lets go when the doctor bustles into the room, clipboard in hand and a gaggle of interns in tow. Jack drops his wrist and crosses his arms again, eying the interns with clear distaste.

“How are we feeling?” the doctor sidles up to the empty side of the bed, scribbling on his clipboard. Rhys gives a half shrug because he doesn’t feel a whole lot of anything, and he says as much.

“The painkillers are doing their job then,” the doctor says, scribbling something new before letting his clipboard rest under his arm.

“The good news,” he starts again, “is we stitched up the laceration on the side of your head with no issues. Your left arm took pretty minimal damage. Just keep off it for awhile and it should feel fine within a week or so. Unfortunately, we weren’t able to save your eye during surgery, and had to remove it entirely due to the trauma.”

“Oh,” Rhys replies and thinks about the last time he’d woken up in the hospital with one less body part. He isn’t given time to dwell, however, as the doctor goes on to explain his expected recovery times, and which prescriptions he’ll be given. He says Rhys will be able to come back in about a week for a temporary eye prosthetic, and then they can look into more permanent ones, which is something, he guesses.

They change the bandages on his head, and re-cover his eye, this time with a pressure patch, which he’s supposed to leave in place for the first week, except for when he has to apply healing gel to his eyelid.

Rhys is discharged not long after and when he’s changing out of the hospital gown and back into his own clothes, he sees the dried blood stained on his shirt and grimaces. Jack, who was wearing at least three different shirts, peels off his faded, Hyperion sweater and hands it over. It’s too big, especially in the shoulders, but Rhys makes no complaints as he carefully tugs it over his head.

When they leave, Jack decidedly doesn’t laugh when Rhys nearly runs into the doorframe, and instead rests his palm flat against the small of his back and guides him to the car.

They spend most of the night on the couch, Rhys pressed against Jack’s side, with the other man’s arm snaked around his waist. Jack takes the next two days off work and when Rhys complains about it, he tells him to shut up.

--

Waking up the next morning proves to be particularly difficult for Rhys, as he’s immediately wracked with pain from what feels like everywhere. He groans into the pillow and clenches his eyes shut, regretting it immediately when he feels the sharp pain in his right socket. When he manages to open his good eye, he finds he’s alone in bed, the comforter pulled up to his neck.

His vicodin prescription is sitting on the bedside table, next to a glass of water that’s obviously been sitting there awhile if the condensation is anything to go by. Rhys watches a drop slowly slide down the side of the glass and soak into the coaster beneath it.

With a sigh, he pushes himself up with his left arm; the cybernetic one was resting on his charger across the room, but he wasn’t sure how good of an idea it was to reattach it without getting it fixed first. Rhys struggled with the child-proof cap of his painkillers, having to creatively utilize his chin to press down while he twists it. It eventually pops off and he presses a pill against his tongue, chasing it down with a swig of water.

Rhys lies back down and tries to get comfortable as he waits for the vicodin to kick in.

He jerks awake sometime later when Jack’s hand is on his shoulder, shaking him gently.

“Time to get up, sweetheart,” he says and Rhys is definitely not ready to get out of bed. His painkillers have definitely kicked in and he’s not sure how long it’s been since he took them, but he feels good and warm and heavy in a way that’s strangely comfortable. He mumbles his disagreement and doesn’t bother opening his eye, curling in on himself further.

He hears Jack sigh above him and then the covers are being pulled back and cold air is kissing his skin and making him shiver.

“Gotta clean your shit or it’s gonna get infected, and you’re gonna whine like a pissy baby,” Jack sounds irritated now and Rhys is half tempted to just ignore him and go back to sleep. Sadly, the older man is having none of it and he slides an arm under Rhys and forces him to sit up.

“Too fuckin’ heavy for this shit,” he grumbles after making sure Rhys doesn’t just flop back down on the pillows.

“I hate you,” Rhys whines and Jack quickly snaps back with an “I hate you more,” before he’s pulling at the tape keeping the bandages on Rhys’ arm together.The gauze loosens as Jack unwraps it and Rhys sighs when the pressure abates and his smaller cuts are allowed to breathe.

They sit in silence as Jack presses a damp cloth to the assorted bruises and cuts along Rhys’ arm. Rhys watches him work, wincing only when the disinfectant is applied and he can see the liquid bubbling between his skin.

Jack unwraps the bandages around his head just as gently and snorts in amusement, “Oh man, they shaved your hair.”

“What!?” Rhys immediately brings his fingers up to feel, and sure enough, the entire area was cut short, leaving only short fuzz around his stitches. God, he could just cry right then and there; Rhys doesn’t really consider himself vain but he likes to look good. He likes it when people compliment him on his cybernetic arm, or his clothes, or his hair, and now two of those things were broken and shaved.

“Stop,” Jack pulls Rhys’ hand away from where he’s absently pressing against the shortened hair just a little too hard, “what’d I say about touching?”

“I thought they aren’t supposed to do that anymore,” Rhys complains, vaguely remembering an article he’d read during a wikipedia binge about it.

“Yeah, well, your surgeon looked like an idiot,” Jack scoffs, and sets the cloth on the bedside table, “you wanna sue?”

“Yes,” Rhys says bitterly and Jack snorts unattractively again.

“I’ll get someone to look into it,” he says, and when he reaches up to remove the pressure patch, Rhys flinches.

“Don’t,” he breathes and Jack frowns at him.

“Rhys--”

“I’ll do it myself.”

“No you won’t.”

And Jack’s right, he won’t.

He remembers being nine years old, looking in the mirror, eyes fixated on the empty spot at his right side where his arm should’ve been. The scar was neat, a perfect line up the side of his shoulder, but he hated it. He hated looking at it, hated the way people looked at him, with pity in their eyes.

And he knows Jack won’t look at him like that; Jack knows what it’s like, but Rhys doesn’t want him to see it, doesn’t want to see it himself and he’s actively trying not to think about it, so.

“Can’t we just...later?” he asks with a pout.

Jack looks at him for a good couple of seconds, but he lowers his hand.

“Fine,” he grumps, “tomorrow, though. I’ll hold you down if I have to.”

“You’d enjoy that too much,” Rhys cracks a smile, “but deal.”

[wearethejerkoffs]

all aesthetic asks

flower crown: when did you last sing to yourself? who knowsfairy lights: if a crystal ball could tell you the truth about anything, what would you want to know?will i ever be actually happy? lmao. daisies: what is the greatest accomplishment of your life?i guess not killing myself yet 1975: what is the first happy memory that comes to mind, recent or otherwise?going to glenlord with four lights in my life. matte: if you knew that in one year you would die suddenly, would you change anything about the way you are now living?i would probably move to a different country and just leave everything behind. black nail polish: do you have a bucket list? if so, what are the top three things?see a moose irl (zoo doesnt count) visit Niagara Falls Visit London. pantone: describe a person close to your life in detail.he never looks bad. seeing him smile will automatically cheer me up. he has the best laugh, and tells the goofiest jokes. i like hearing him talk and he smiles whenever his name is mentioned. i wish we were closer. moodboard: do you feel you had a happy childhood?yeah i suppose. stars: when did you last cry in front of another person?uhhhh from sadness i cant remember. i cried from laughing in front of becca and ash i think. plants: pick a person to stargaze with you and explain why you picked them.Trey and Jake. i like them a lot. converse: would you ever have a deep conversation with a stranger and open up to them?yeah i guess. im pretty open. lace: when was your last 3am conversation with someone, and who were they to you?chad last night, hes just a boy i want to hug forever. handwriting: if you were about to die, and you could only say one more sentence to one person, what would you say and to whom?i would probably remind becca she will be okay. cactus: what is your opinion on brown eyes?i like them, i have them sunrise: pick a quote and describe what it means to you personally."losing the feeling of feeling unique" its just a lyric i love and relate too. oil paints: what would you title the autobiography of your life so far?"don't read, you're not gonna be interested."overalls: what would you do with one billion dollars?buy a green Camry, move to canada, get a cute place to live. help my mom. combat boots: are you a very forgiving person? do you like being this way?i can be, unless im really angry. winged eyeliner: write a hundred word letter to your twelve year old self.ill write a 15 word letter: stop being in the abusive relationship you're in now. stay away from men like him. pastel: would you describe yourself as more punk or pastel?punk. tattoos: how do you feel about tattoos and piercings? explain.i like them. i like that way of expressing yourself. i want more. piercings: do you wear a lot of makeup? why/why not?yes because im ugly as fuck without it. bands: talk about a song/band/lyric that has affected your life in some way.i exist i exist i exist x flatsound. anyone who knows me knows that. messy bun: the world is listening. pick one sentence you would tell them.kill trump and pence. cry baby: list the concerts you have been to and talk about how they make you feel.way too many to list. amity affliction will forever stick with me. cried a lot with my best friend. grunge: who in the world would you most like to receive a letter from and what would you want it to say?obama telling me he loves me. space: do you have a desk/workspace and how is it organised/not organised?nopewhite bed sheets: what is your night time routine?smoke weed and watch the officeold books: what’s one thing you don’t want your parents to know?i had sex with jake from goodwillbeaches: if you had to dye your hair how would you dye/style it and why?red hair, black bangs eyes: pick five people to go on an excursion with you. who would you pick and where would you go/what would you do?becca, jake, trey, ky cam, gabe. we would go to st joe and stay there for hours 11:11: name three wishes and why you wish for them.for becca and i to be financially stable, to be in a beautiful town, and for trump and pence to die. painting: what is the best halloween costume you have ever put together? if none, make one up.hallowqueen bitchlightning: what’s the worst thing you’ve ever done while drunk or high?suck a weird boys dickthunder: what’s one thing you would never do for one million dollars?analstorms: you on only listen to one song for the rest of your life, or only see one person for the rest of your life. which and why?youngbloods x amitylove: have you ever fallen in love? describe what it feels like to realise you’re in love.platonic love with becca. it feels like i cant stop smiling clouds: if you’re a boy, would you ever rock black nail polish? if you’re a girl, would you ever rock really really short hair?helll nocoffee: what’s your starbucks order, and who would you trust to order for you, if anyone?it switches, i like pumpkin spice, and salted caramel mocha on ice. idc who orders for me marble: what is the most important thing to you in your life right now?becca!