#but it felt like they didn't really touch it until 2013.

[wp100]

one thing i regret is quitting club penguin when i did, like back in 2012, probably before the operation:blackout event. I never got to experience it :(

I doubt any private servers would recreate it either, a lot of them like to do custom stuff which I don't really like, I'd rather just play it how it was before they added all the disney shit to it (and drastically changed the artstyle and humanised the penguins)

[natriae]

chapter 2

masterlist

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August 13, 2013 10:02pm

Before you knew it your front was pressed against the familiar beige walls of Wakatoshi's room. You could feel his strong chest pressing against your back and his hands roaming around your sides. Thick fingers pressing into the side of your stomach not letting you get out of his hold. His head was in the crook of your neck and his gentle kisses completely took your thoughts away from the hard feeling you felt on your butt.

Just moments ago you were celebrating Wakatoshi's 19th birthday with his mom, but now his mom was at the neighbors probably drinking to celebrate the fact that she was free to no longer mother Wakatoshi. It's not like she did anyway. But now her son was was turning his girlfriend of two year into nothing but a cock slut.

His kisses dropped lower and lower until he began unzipping your dress. He kissed every ounce of skin that was in his line of sight. Before you knew it Wakatoshi was on his knees taking off your dress fully. He bit your butt and then kisses it right after. Just like he did your whole relationship. Always making you feel like the second choice but then making you feel like a delicate flower whenever he had free time. His hands trailed back up your body as he rose back on his feet. His large hands turned you around and then pressed you back into the wall.

"take off you clothes too it's not fair," You said to him when he brought his face so close to yours your noses were touching. He picked you up and brought you over to his bed. He lifted his shirt over his head and as far as you could tell his face started to heat up. Unable to believe you guys have come this far your face began heating up as the strong man came back down to kiss you. His kisses felt like kissing a cloud. Everything about him was strong, rough, and calculated, yet his lips were only calculated. They would kiss you with the right amout of pressure and he'd never feed into the urge to kiss you senseless.

He separated from you a gazed into your eyes. Do you want to continue? Nodding your head he dropping his head back down and left you one last kiss. He started kissing down your body again hands going under you to unclip your bra. Once it was off he kissed both of your breasts.He put one in his mouth and looked up at you while sucking on your breast. I'm I doing this right? Leaning back you put one of your hands into his hair and began to massage his scalp. He continued sucking and now pinching your nipples. Feeding into his needs he kissed down your body once more. His thick fingers began working your panties down your body. Once they were off he threw them across the room. He must have been really needy. He never feed into the self pressure, but throwing your panties across the room showed that it was eating away at him. When it came to you he would feed into all his needs just to please you.

Gently he lifted your leg and started kissing at your foot then your calf then your knee, and your thigh. Sucking a little harder ag the thigh to leave a hickey. He then repeated those steps down your other leg till he got to you glistening pussy. He loved you. He loved your mind, your body, and your soul. He wanted to be connected with every part of you. He started to gently kitten lick at your pussy trying to copy what he had seen in porn. It felt great but you could tell he was hesitant with his moves. He lifted his head up and his eyes showed and emotion that he would only share with you. Ushijima Wakatoshi didn't know what he was doing and he was looking for someone else to help. For once in his life he wasnt confident in what he was doing. "How can i properly please you," he asked quietly. Worried that someone else would hear the big man failing at something. I want everything to be perfect because you deserve it.

Sitting up on the comfy bed your brought his much bigger hands to your clit. "Feel this," He nodding his head once. Your face heated up again at your next statement. "This is my clit," taking a deep breath before continuing, "it feels really good when you rub it liked this," you took his index finger and began rubbing small circles on the little bean. It was cute to see his face focusing so hard to please you. Once he got the hang of it you took your hand off his and began whimpering quietly. He seemed shocked by this and his hand slightly stuttered and he looked up at your face like a cute puppy. Am i doing good? Nodding your head you smiled lightly at the now man. He brought his right hand to your little hole and began to slowly put his middle finger into it. Every few seconds he would look up at you to make sure you were enjoying it. God he was to good at this. He asked if he could add another finger and then did so when you said yes. Your breathing started to pick up and your whimpers turned into slight moans.

But the it all stopped. Lifting your self up for the second time that night you looked between you legs to see Wakatoshi staring at his fingers. You leaned over to his night stand and turned on the lamp to see properly. He was still looking at his fingers and you could properly see the few streaks of blood over his index and middle finger. His eyebrows were scrunched together in worry.

"it's normal. I'm okay I promise," you said as you grabbed his face so he looked at you in the eyes. "I've never had sex before," you whispered to him.

"i haven't either," He responded to you. You grabbed his shirt that he had threw off and used to it wipe his fingers. He still looked cautious not sure if he should continue.

"come here," you grabbed his biceps to lead him where you wanted him to go. He came up and sat on his bed. His back was leaning on his headboard as he sat up. You tugged on his pants begging him to take them off. Ushijima wasn't one to tease but you could see that he enjoyed slowly taking off his athletic shorts and then taking off his boxers. He knows you wanted him to take the both off at once. Taking a deep breath you eyes zoned in on his cock. It was huge, and your not sure it would fit, but not wanting to give Wakatoshi the wrong impress you climbed onto his lap and brought your forehead to his. Looking into his eyes you slowly sunk down trying to fit it inside you. Tears started to build up in your eyes at the stretch.

It hurt how could anyone actually enjoy this. Taking a deep breath you tried to calm your heart rate to prevent you from crying more, but it burned a lot the more you tired to fit it in. A large, rough hand grabbed the side of your face and pulled you head up to look at your boyfriend in the eyes.

"relax and take it slow," please don't force yourself because it hurts me to see you in pain. He held your face so you could do nothing but look into his eyes. His eyes looked like boba pearls and if you looked hard enough there were little stars in his eyes. His eyes held so much, but he said so little. Wakatoshi wasn't that good with people so he'd often watch those from a far, and then try and get close to them once he felt confident enough in knowing their personality. He did that with you, and once he started getting closer to you he noticed that he could calm you down with just a look. You would get so lost in his eyes he'd stop talking because he knew you weren't listening.

Looking into Toshi's eyes made the whole world stop. You stop feeling the pain inbetween your legs and it started to feel better. It felt so god damn good you never wanted to take his cock out. Once your hips finally met his he wrapped his arms around your body and flipped you guys over so he was on top. He didn't start moving till he saw your tears stop. Slowly he moved his hips out and then brought them back in. Soon enough Wakatoshi was quietly groaning and eventually started to take deep breaths out of his mouth. You couldn't help but moan everytime your 'toshi slammed his dick back into you. Your legs began to shake around his back, and you knew you were done for the minute you looked at his abs tighten everytime he thrusted. How did you get so lucky. You can feel every vain and the difference in size where the mushroom tip met the long length of his cock. Tighting up around him you suddenly felt like you were gonna pee, but it was more then that. You were horny and you didn't care entirely all that mattered was that it felt good, and you didn't want him to stop. "ple-please waka don't- baby don't stop please," you whined moaning and taking deep breaths in between in your sentence.

"baby," he said quietly. So quietly you probably wouldn't have heard it if his head wasn't right next to your ear. "i'm gonna come. you're so tight," Not wanting him to leave you tightened your legs around his back and squeezed your pussy a little bit more. You were so close and you wouldn't let him get away now. He lifted himself up and placed both of his hands on either side of your head. His head was facing the upper wall behind you and his eyes were closed. He looked so good right now. Sweat was dripping down his body and the further you went down the hotter the sight.

A six pack and a perfect V-line. Dark olive colored hair started at his belly button and lead to an even bigger patch of hair that surround his fucking gift of a cock. God definitely has favorite, and Ushijima Wakatoshi is one of them. Harder grunts took you out of your thoughts and you look up to see 'toshi absolutely losing his composure. That was the last straw you felt everything burst and Wakatoshi felt a warm liquid hit his lower stomach. You've never moaned this loud when you masterbated alone, but something about him brought out a side of you, you didn't know existed. As you squirted Wakatoshi's dam broke too and he halted his thrust to try and force his dick into you as deep as you could. Cumming inside a pussy was much better then just cumming on his hand. Still trying to ride out your high you hold on Wakatoshi's shoulders tightened and your nails clawed at the perfect skin. You swear all you senses were heightened and you could feel his cum flow deeper and deeper into you.

Eventually Wakatoshi collapsed on you and he slowly took his cock out as much as you didn't want him too. He moved over next to you on his bed and ceresed your face. His breathing was heavy and he's never looked more out of breath. Turning over you leaned your head on his pec and brought you arm to rest on his chest. His arm on the side you were leaning on wrapped around you body and he held you as you fell asleep.

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November 14th, 2013 6:30 am

You woke up after feeling something missing in the bed you were sleeping in. It smelled like Wakatoshi but you couldn't feel him. Groaning you wiggled around in the bed searching for the large body. The harsh sunlight was peaking through the blinds and you were left with no choics but to open your eyes to search for the ace.

"jima," you said yawning not soon after. "' jima where are you," finally getting up and sitting upright on the bed you hear the sink in his bathroom turn off. He was already dressed and ready for his run. The purple track suit hugged his body and he walked around the room looking for his fitbit. He threw your panties off his desk and directly at you. Did he even notice you were there? "'jima where are you going?"

He huffed and then he said, " to practice." short and to the point. Not surpising. " you should clean up and go home. Can you put my sheets in the washer too before you leave," He took a few big steps and was out the door before you knew it. No kiss goodbye. No please after he asked for a favor. He didn't even ask if you were okay. That's when his statement came back to you when you guys were talking about college outside last night.

"'jima don't you think that's a little far," you had asked.

"it"s for volleyball. They are a good school and they want me,"

"i know but you promised we'd go to college together,"

"yes, but Volleyball comes first then you."

Volleyball comes first then you. You spent all of highschool trying to get him to focus on you, but now that you think about it you were never his first choice. You can barely walk right now and he just left. Limping to the bathroom all you can feel is the pain in between your legs and you the dried cum that was actually extremely uncomfortable. How could he be so loving last night and then just leave.

That was the last time Ushijima saw you. You left him a note and nothing more. The next day you packed up your stuff and moved to Tokyo. You stayed in a Hotel for a while until you could find a proper place to live and a job. It wasn't long until the morning sickness hit and the emotional pain and stress over Ushijima. From what you know he hadn't even reached out to your parents. He didn't care.

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tags: @mineta-phobic @rukia-uchiha-98

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thoughts? this probably one of the longest fic i've every written and my first smut. I hope i did a good job :))

[midnightraine131]

Hi! For Aruani ask game :3

2, 5, 6, 11, 13, 14, 16

Thank you for the ask!!

Sorry for not getting this done sooner. My work schedule is really taking a toll on me but here it goes...

2. Share your favorite part of your first ever fic.

Whew! I just started writing fics again after 5 years, and Hiding in Plain Sight is my first ever Aruani fic. Such a shame for someone who has been shipping them since 2013.

With the house quiet once again, Annie dragged her feet around, turning off the lights in the living room and closing the windows in the kitchen. She remembered she had left her slippers in her bedroom that morning, so she took off her shoes. Her bare feet touched the cold tiled floor, while her heart carried a heavy load of guilt. It was a guilt that would haunt her until her last breath. If only she could escape from her past mistakes, she would have done so by now. How should she tell him? Would he avoid her? Would he curse at her? Would he leave her behind? As she ran these thoughts through her head, fear tightened its grip on her. She wasn't built for confession, and she wasn't strong enough to lose something she wasn't ready to lose. Or was "lose" even the right word? She didn't know. He wasn't even hers to begin with.

5. Write about Armin and Annie's first meeting! Could be in canon settings or other au.

I'm a sucker for AUs so I will give an Actor AU a shot.

Armin felt more and more anxious as he repeatedly went over the script. Today was the first day they would shoot the scene at Stohess district, and the director had told them on the first day that the confrontation was one of the most iconic scenes in the manga, so most Attack on Titan fans were looking forward to the episode. (Armin knew this because he had googled fan sites.) Although he had worked with almost half of the cast, he had never worked with Annie Leonhart. He had heard from his co-actor Eren that Annie was quite intimidating to work with. Fifteen minutes had passed after the call time, but Annie's team had not yet turned up on set. The production assistant asked the trio to return to their tents to retouch their makeup. Armin glanced at the empty chair beside him. He sighed and was about to go through his script one last time when Annie and her makeup artist tripped over something behind Armin's chair. Shocked, Armin hurriedly stood up to help them. As he bent down to hold Annie's arm to pull her up, Armin's mind failed to register what had just happened. He was sure it was adrenaline that was to blame. When he looked up, their noses were almost touching. He had never felt his face heat up so quickly. As soon as he was sure that she could stand up on her own, he let go of her arm. He could distinguish a tinge of pink on her cheek when she turned her back away from him. When the day was over and the crew started to wrap up, Annie purposefully walked past Armin's family van and handed him a bag of donuts and a large cup of boba tea. She muttered, "This is my apology for being late on set today." Armin thanked her and smiled. Annie fidgeted before she added, "Everyone got one, so don't think about it too much." She then dashed away from him. When he looked around, everyone had donuts, but not boba milk tea. She had given him an extra treat. Since then, he always approached her whenever they got to work together. He was glad that she had come back to set for season 4.

6. Tell us about your longest fic

Actually, I initially planned to do some practice writing because I felt like I was getting rusty after years of not writing anything at all. But for some reason, I fell in love with imagining Armin as a prosecutor, and so my practice writing has turned into a 9-chapter story that is still ongoing.

11. What annoys you the most about your own writing habits?

My mood honestly depends on the weather. Like, I can only write properly when it's raining or when I have to go to work very early in the morning. Another habit I want to get rid of is my drinking problem. If I don't drink, I can't come up with anything. I know it's bad for my health. I've been trying to keep my body healthy these past few weeks, and I'm hanging in there. I'm also having a hard time writing when I'm outside and all the ideas are pouring in on me.

13. Do you use symbolism when writing fics? Tell us about it.

I've been experimenting with my writing style lately. I just started to use symbolism in the title, and it's a bit of a giveaway. I'm not a deep person, but my characters are. LOL.

14. Tell us about a detail you wrote that nobody has commented on yet.

Now that I've gone through all the chapters again, I was quite surprised that nobody has commented on how bad my first chapter is. I was honestly considering rewriting or deleting the whole chapter.

16. Share a wip you're excited about.

This is a chapter from Hiding in Plain Sight that I wrote a month ago. It contains a glimpse of what they've become after four years, months after their relationship ended.

He held her hand, glancing at the diamond on her finger. "So you are engaged now." He examined every angle of the stone, gleaming rainbow lights reflecting in his eyes. "With Hoover?" "Armin." He swallowed, his voice breaking, "What does he have that I don't?" Annie noticed his eyes were dark and puffy from up close, as if the storm in his eyes had calmed down and left a wasteland. "Armin, you're too drunk." He gently placed her hand on his face as he closed his eyes. His hands, his face, he's as cold as if she had touched a glass frozen in winter. "I dreamed of you being beside me." "I was, Armin. We were happy. But you ended us." Annie felt warm liquid threatening to leak from the corners of her eyes. "Annie, it took me four damn years to make up my mind. It only took four damn minutes to shatter it all to pieces. And it only took you four damn months to wear someone's ring." This was the first time she had heard him curse, and it broke her. "Armin, please. I told you I wasn't ready when you..." Annie couldn't finish what she wanted to say as tears rolled down her face. "...when I was on my knees and asked you?" He continued, opening his eyes to see her face dampened with tears

[caralara]

Would you share your thoughts about louis take on mental health

hi love, I wanted to take the time to properly respond to this, so apologies for the delay! This was sparked from the Music Week interview in which Louis says following, making the fandom have half a meltdown over what he said, saying he's lying for example:

Louis Tomlinson on mental health and music “In terms of One Direction, it’s often easy to stereotype these big evil managers or big evil label heads who demanded that we did this [or that]. It wasn’t really like that, I will say that everyone did their best by us, and I’m talking specifically about our mental health. However, being an artist is very individual and the pressures that you have day-to-day, no manager or record boss understands that. Until you experience it, you don’t understand it. Sometimes words are powerful, it can be a little throwaway phrase that comes from this suited label boss and you think about that for the next couple of months.”

I said in my tags that I thought this was aligning exactly what I thought Louis is on about, generally, and I was quite pleased with his response.

What he's saying here, is so important, especially in our fandom, in my opinion. It's easy to lock onto one evil mastermind who's supposedly pulling all the strings and easy to blame, but that's rarely how the real world works. The music industry is a part and a result of our society, and almost like a little society, a little cosmos itself. Everyone who works in the music industry was born and socialised in our society, and whenever loads of money and big egos are involved, as it is in the music industry, the ugliest faces of humanity make their appearances.

To me, what Louis is saying, is that from a rational, calm viewpoint that he - I am very sure worked very hard to achieve - found, there's not really one person at fault for making the time during One Direction tough on their mental health. That humans make mistakes, and that he also gives a lot of the people around them the benefit of the doubt that they truly were trying to look out for the boys. Unfortunately, other people don't always know what's the best for you, and that is something Louis also says in this quote, that if you're not in the situation yourself, you just don't understand the full impact of the circumstances. Let's say, the people surrounding them genuinely had their best interest at heart, but the way they were raised and grew up in the industry, to them Louis' best interest meant commercial success and fame, meaning they would try their best to maintain a certain image for them to make sure he would be commercially successful and famous while not completely breaking down. And to them, they would genuinely feel like all their actions were justified and the right decisions, because that is what they felt Louis' best interest was, and be genuinely appalled by anyone accusing them for exploiting Louis.

He also touches on the fact that similar circumstances can have very different effects on different people. Maybe he was coping better than others (like I believe, I think he was coping much better than Harry during 2013/2014, which led him to say yes to babygate to take some of the pressure of the closet off of Harry), and that it is generally a very, very complex matter.

To me, his quote speaks of understanding and kindness towards the people who simply didn't know better, and his wonderful phrase of "it is what it is" (and he's doing all he can to make the best of the situation instead of wasting energy with holding grudges). And don't get me wrong, I also believe that Louis still has a lot of rage and frustration in him towards specific people, because, again, he also is just human and it's not easy to forgive people that fucked your life over, no matter how badly you want to (looking at you "how do you sleep at night when you're just like me" and Simon), and believe it or not - those are both things he can have in him simultaneously, humans are wonderfully paradox and complex like that.

So, yeah. Just reinforcing my image of Louis being an incredibly thoughtful person, deeply interested in human psychology and someone who took the first part of the lockdown to really go into his own mind and search (and find) some of the peace he needed to be able to move forward freely :)

[gellavonhamster]

monthly media recap: june 2023

read:

Blood of Tyrants, League of Dragons, and Golden Age and Other Stories by Naomi Novik - books 8-9 in the amazing Temeraire series (the beginning of which I wrote about last month) and a collection of short stories and drabbles (yep, using precisely this terminology) set in the same universe and based on fanart, including even a Pride and Prejudice retelling in which Elizabeth Bennet is a dragon captain. You can really tell the author is one of us <3

The Romance of Tristan and Iseult by Joseph Bédier - love finishing a book and then finding out that was an abridged edition :))) well, whatever, I didn't like this one enough to look for a full one. But the illustrations in this one were lovely

La Tavola Ritonda - now this kind of Tristania (i.e. where everyone is a bit of a dick) is more to my liking. A very chaotic but entertaining text saturated with pranks and violence. Touches upon some other Arthurian plots too, such as the quest for the Holy Grail. I wrote about it here - 1, 2, 3, 4

The Return of the Native by Thomas Hardy - a beautiful rural tragedy that kept me very invested in the lives of these people. Greatly enjoyed the writing style and the old traditions seeping into the 19th century life. Eustacia Vye you will always be famous

De ortu Waluuanii - a Medieval Latin romance about Gawain's childhood, very unlike most of the Arthurian texts I've read. Also contains a most insane recipe for making Greek fire? And Guinevere is a prophetess? Fascinating

+ currently reading the second book in the Angélique series - accidentally started it last year by finding the first book at a bookcrossing stand, and now I gotta finish or at least read until it becomes too cringe if it ever does. This will be my Bridgerton, idc

watched:

Sirens (1994) - shy wife of a progressive priest goes with her husband to visit the scandalous painter Norman Lindsay, befriends his models, experiences kind of a bisexual awakening. A simultaneously horny and strangely sweet movie with weird Australian fauna as a bonus

Jawbreaker (1999) - dark teen comedy in the same vein as Heathers. Lots of fun, cool soundtrack, enjoyed it

A Field in England (2013) - very strange. Kind of feels dragged out as you watch it, but then makes you think and think about it when you're done. Not quite my cup of tea, but definitely good

The Return of the Native (1994) - not as good as the novel but still pretty good, and young Catherine Zeta Jones is perfect as Eustacia

The Three Musketeers (2011) - this place has everything: clockpunk, airships, d'Artagnan's cringe horse, flamboyant villain Buckingham, Mads Mikkelsen with an eyepatch, PLANCHET. Wish the dialogue and Constance were more interesting; still, very silly and entertaining

The Phantom of the Opera (1989) - the slasher horror one with reincarnation, wow. Valid in my eyes if only for doing what Coppola's Dracula should've done (i.e., making the reincarnated lover trope creepy). Also, final girl Christine Daaé just feels right

The Phantom of the Opera (Rosen & Schierhorn) - turns out there's more than one POTO musical, and at least one of them is a comedy. It felt like too much comedy to me at times, but overall it's pretty enjoyable plot- and dialogue-wise. Totally forgettable music, though. I watched it because the Persian is there and having the Persian as your favourite POTO character is even worse than having Quincey Morris as your favourite Dracula character, dude is literally nowhere ever.

[theeverlastingshade]

Pitchfork Music Festival 2023 Recap

I had the privilege of being able to return to Pitchfork Music Festival this year, and as expected, the 2023 iteration was another superbly run festival with many strong performances despite some unfortunate weather related setbacks.

I arrived on Friday just in time for the Grace Ives set on the red stage. Grace performed solo with just a sampler and her laptop. She spent most of her performance laying down some loops and then dancing/singing across the stage. She drew primarily from her most recent LP, Janky Star, and while these live renditions didn't quite pop the way that the recordings do, she still exuded the same low-key charm. Her set felt a little stilted and underwhelming, but it still had plenty of promise all the same. I suspect that she'll continue to hone her live show until it transcends the potency of her recordings, but she's not quite there yet.

Right after Grace wrapped up Axel Boman began his blue stage set. He spent his set mixing alongside someone alternating between saxophone and clarinet (which may explain Boman's "live" designation on the bill, but who knows). His set was an early afternoon heater that brought some welcome floor-filling energy to the proceedings that wasn't really matched again throughout the entire weekend (although Jlin came close). The music was bright, funky, playful, and imbued with a lush melodic undercurrent without ever easing up on the groove. It's very rare that I get to experience djs with such a singular touch behind the boards, but in addition to releasing great records and mixes Boman has the kind of finesse required for great live mixing, and his set was far more engaging than a footnote to releasing not just 1 but 2 of the best records of last year (Luz and Quest for Fire, respectively). As far as I'm concerned he's a must see for everyone regardless of your mileage on electronic music, or more specifically, dance music.

I unfortunately had to leave midway through Boman's set to catch Youth Lagoon on the green stage (one of the weekend's handful of unfortunate compromises). I hadn't seen YL in a decade (Laneway Festival 2013 baby), and in addition to wanting a general check-up I was curious to hear how the new material would sound. Trevor Powers (the man behind the moniker) played keys, a drum machine, and a sampler alongside someone who alternated between bass and guitar, and someone who alternated between guitar and drums. Everything sounded tight, and nothing fell short of doing justice to the respective recorded version. The set naturally leaned heavier on their recently released 4th LP, Heaven Is a Junkyard (which is a great record), and they threw in a few of their best songs including "Montana" and "Mute". "Mute" was utterly transcendent, and worth seeing their set for alone.

After YL I returned to the blue stage for Jlin. Jlin performed a dj set without any accompaniment, but it was far from conventional. It was the first time that I ever saw anyone spin footwork live (albeit a far-flung, extremely avant-garde strain of footwork), and, like her records, the music tends to move your body just as much as it blows your mind. It was tremendously visceral and disorienting in equal measure, and while not nearly as danceable as, say, Boman's set on the blue stage shortly beforehand, it was just as superbly realized in its own right. The tempos were breakneck and whiplash inducing (as the throngs of people struggling to juke can certainly attest), and it made for one of the most thrilling thrilling dj sets that I've ever seen.

Perfume Genius began his set on the green stage shortly after Jlin wrapped up, and it was easily the day's major highlight after The Smile. The band consisted of 2 guitarists, a bassist, a drummer, and a keyboardist in addition to Mike Hadreas (the man behind the moniker) prancing around the stage. The band was extremely tight but still played with a level of playful spontaneity that the PG songbook calls for, and they consistently breathed new life into Hadreas's work. They ran through many of the best PG songs including "Slip Away", "Describe", "Eye in the Wall", "Wreath", and "Queen" (which, naturally, was relegated to the electrifying closing slot) and they were each faithful renditions that also managed to carve out their own identities from the recorded versions. The PG set was a sweeping, career-defining performance on the level of Yves Tumor's standout performance from 2021. It doesn't matter what record that PG is touring behind on any given cycle, he is a must see live act full-stop.

Alvvays started their set on the red stage right on the heels of PG ending theirs, and it was another unsurprisingly strong set. This was my 3rd time seeing the 5 piece indie pop phenoms, and regardless of whether they're playing a headlining club set or a festival slot, they always deliver. They've sounded tighter, and have performed with sharper chemistry, each subsequent time that I've seen them, and if they continue along their current trajectory I expect them to headline this festival at some point during the album cycle for their next record. Given that they're still in the middle of the cycle for their 2022 opus, Blue Rev, most of their set consisted of highlights from that record including "Belinda Says", "Pharmacist", and "Pomeranian Spinster", but they also played a handful of older cuts like "In Undertow", "Not My Baby", and "Archie, Marry Me" that, while great on record, now sound even better live. Alvvays are the rare indie pop band that makes consistently good records and deliver visceral live shows imbued with their own distinct identify apart from their recorded output, and they're still one of the few artists I enjoy who I can recommend to anyone I know (both on record and stage) in good faith.

The Smile were the headlining act on Friday (kicking off their set roughly 10 minutes after Alvvays wrapped up theirs), and they played what was easily one of the strongest headlining festival sets that I've ever seen. TS are a supergroup that consists of Thom Yorke and Johnny Greenwood of Radiohead and Tom Skinner of Sons of Kemet, but unlike the vast majority of supergroups, The Smile don’t rest on the laurels of the bands that the members were in prior, nor do they regurgitate sad approximations of those past glories. The Smile are certainly more thrilling if you're familiar with the work of Radiohead and/or Sons of Kemet, but they exist in their own orbit entirely. The set they played retained the dreamy disposition of the studio recordings while heightening the searing intensity that informs it all. The trio was occasionally joined by a saxophonist, but the majority of the music was constructed by just the three of them. Yorke and Greenwood were regularly swapping between guitar, bass, and grand piano, while Skinner stuck predominantly to his kit, but would occasionally pause the percussion for some analog synth work. The bulk of their set came from their excellent 2022 debut and lone LP, A Light For Attracting Attention, but they played a handful of new songs including the recently released single "Bending Hectic", and everything that has a studio counterpart sounded just as good if not better live. TS's loose, adventurous set was a bell weather for the best of what live music can offer, and the clear highlight of the entire festival.

There was a delayed start to the sets on Saturday due to some overcast weather (Palm's set was cancelled, which was all the more unfortunate given that it was going to be one of their final shows after announcing their break up just a month prior, but it was thankfully rescheduled to Sunday morning), but luckily I was still able to catch 700 Bliss perform. The 2 piece experimental electronic hip hop act put on a solid show that, while not quite as thrilling as their great 2022 debut LP, Nothing To Declare, was still promising in its own right. DJ Haram was mixing while Moor Mother prowled around the stage, occasionally doing some mixing herself, and their set retained the dystopian urgency of their recorded output even if it couldn't help but feel a little lackluster outside of that context. Moor Mother is a magnetic, demanding presence that carried the set through sheer force of will, and I sincerely hope that they continue to record music together and hone their live show.

Shortly after 700 Bliss wrapped up MJ Lenderman and his band began their set on the red stage. Lenderman's band consisted of 2 drummers (one of whom was Spencer Tweedy) a guitarist, a bassist, and Wednesday bandmate Xandy Clemis playing pedal steel alongside the boy Lenderman on guitar and vocals. Lenderman's set was a strong realization of his country-leaning lo-fi slacker rock sound. The band played with a loose, ramshackle disposition, and Lenderman's vocals and guitar playing retained the compelling, off the cuff charm of his recorded output. Most of the music came from Lenderman's superb 2022 breakthrough LP, Boat Songs, but they snuck in a few new songs including the recently released single, "Rudolph", as well as their new (and as of then, unreleased) version of "Knockin", originally from the EP of the same name. As the rain started to drizzle towards the end of their closing song, which was the BS highlight "Tastes Just Like It Costs" it couldn't have been anymore obvious that if Lenderman continues on his current trajectory he could have a lengthy career ahead of him regardless of if and how Wednesday progress. Along with the Wednesday set that I caught a month prior at The Pyramid Scheme, the MJ Lenderman P4K set was the perfect way to commemorate the summer of Lenderman.

Sadly, there were more delays after Lenderman's set, and the Panda Bear & Sonic Boom set that was supposed to take place on the green stage right afterwards went from being delayed to outright cancelled (along with Vegabon, Snail Mail, and Julia Jacklin). While those sets were never rescheduled, the festival resumed a few hours later so I was able to at least salvage the remainder of the day with the last 3 sets that I planned to hit, beginning with King Krule on the green stage. Krule had a guitarist, bassist, keyboardist, saxophone player and drummer, in addition to Archy Marshall (the man behind the moniker) singing and playing guitar. Although his set was a little more lackluster than the urgent set of theirs that I caught 5 years ago while they were supporting their 2017 opus, The Ooz, it was still a solid set that, more often than not, did the recorded material justice. "Dum Surfer" was a little underwhelming, but "Stoned Again" absolutely fucking ripped, and "Flimsier" was rendered even more devastating than it sounds on record. They played a few of Archy's classic cuts including "Easy Easy" and "Out Getting Ribs", which served to remind just how impressive Marshall's songwriting and compositional chops have developed over the years. Although perhaps not as striking as it once was, Marshall's music is still wonderfully unlike that of anyone else recording and/or performing today.

Right after Archy wrapped up Weyes Blood began their set on the green stage. WB's band was a five piece that consisted of a bassist, drummer, and 2 keyboardists (one of whom swapped between keys and guitar), in addition to Natalie Mering (the woman behind the moniker) playing guitar and singing (and occasionally playing some piano as well). Their performance was a gorgeous execution of songs predominantly on her last 2 records, and Mering's voice was just as strong if not stronger than it sounds on the albums (her voice was also probably the most powerful instrument that I heard all weekend). It began to lightly drizzle during her set, which only heightened the gravitas of highlights like "Movies", "God Turn Me Into a Flower", and "Andromeda" (especially in light of the cancelled shows from earlier in the day, but thankfully the lightning didn’t return). And her stage banter was A1 (and only really matched by JPEGMAFIA this entire weekend); "This one's a little psychedelic so I suggest you take all your drugs now" right before kicking off "Movies", "It looks like we're competing with some dance music (Charlotte and Bolis were performing on the blue stage), so I'll play my one dance song. I expect you all to start moshing" right before leading off "Everyday". Her set exuded the ethereal beauty of her recorded output, but with the kind of visceral force necessary to really deliver to anyone not standing within like 20 feet of the stage. The WB set was the clear highlight of Saturday after Big Thief's headlining set, and it set the stage for the BT set superbly.

Big Thief arrived on the green stage shortly after WB wrapped up her set with their drummer James Krivchenia and guitarist Buck Meek carrying bassist Max Oleartchik on the stage because he was wearing mermaid tights with fins. In my experience BT always puts on a sublime show, and their headlining P4K set was no exception to this trend. BT's set wasn't quite as explosive as their P4K 2021 set, but they still played with the same sublime chemistry and overall musicianship. The majority of their songs came from their 2022 opus, Dragon New Warm Mountain I Believe In You, but they sprinkled in some career highlights like "Contact" and "Not" in addition to a plethora of new material including the recently released showstopper "Vampire Empire". Their set achieved a nice balance of songs throughout their eras, and everything (especially "Vampire Empire" and "Spud Infinity") tastefully struck new and satisfying identities with respect to their studio versions. Their shows unfold with the sort of tight intuition that suggests that it's just one organism performing all of the music while still allowing for idiosyncratic instrumental flourishes that shine but never detract from the whole. While the solo Adrianne Lenker numbers were by far the weakest offerings of the set they were still compelling performances that broke up the full band fare nicely. They ended their set with an 8 minute "Spud Infinity" (which they've played at every show of theirs that I've seen) featuring Adrianne's brother on jaw harp (who also joined them at their Chicago club set last year). This year's "Spud Infinity" was their strongest performance yet, and was just one of many moments that cemented BT's status as one of the best live bands active right now.

Palm played an unusually early set on the blue stage on Sunday morning due to having to cancel the day prior. Palm consisted of a drummer, 2 guitarists (one of whom also used a sampler and played a little bit of percussion), and a keyboardist/bassist. Palm's set exuded the knotty, adventurous sonics of their records with aplomb. They play an unconventional strain of psychedelic rock that's cerebral and obtuse, while still sounding exciting and visceral. While they very much scan like a "studio band", their performance retained the electronics heavy complexity of their music without ever sounding like a plain regurgitation. This was their last Chicago show, and they went out with a hell of a send off. They were one of the more interesting bands, both live and on record, throughout the last decade or so, and they will be sorely missed.

After Palm wrapped up I raced over to the red stage to catch the last half of Richika Nayar's set. Nayar performed with a laptop, guitar, sampler, and effects unit alongside a cellist and a singer. They music was predominantly effects-laden drones set against sparse vocals and cello playing, which achieved a mesmerizing disposition that never really wavered. The music was more drawn out and predictable than her recorded output, with movements occasionally overstaying their welcome and lapsing into diminishing returns, but there were far more enthralling moments than meandering ones. The music on the whole wasn't particularly well-suited for a festival set, but that didn't necessarily prevent it from achieving a compelling, mind-melting spell all the same.

Shortly after Nayar's set I hit the green stage for Lucrecia Dalt. Dalt sang and played a keyboard/synth and a sampler alongside a drummer, and the two of them delivered some welcome, extremely tasteful shifts to her avant-garde bolero stylings. The set was just as unpredictable as her recorded output, but the drums did a ton of heavy lifting as far as giving shape to her striking compositions is concerned. Dalt's voice sounded great, and the playing of both members was loose and playful but marked with a sharp precision that underscored the technicality on display. It was a strong set that capped off the avant-garde block of Sunday shows before things became dramatically more accessible.

After Dalt's set I returned to the red stage for Jockstrap. Jockstrap is a 2 piece consisting of Georgia Ellery, who sang and occasionally used a sampler, guitar, and violin, and Taylor Skye, who split his time between keys, samplers, and effects units. Their set split the difference between dreamy, acoustic guitar led reveries, and arty dance pop, and was, despite feeling somewhat disjointed, a mostly satisfying realization of their sole album, Jennifer B. Unsurprisingly, the strongest performances were their best songs, which were "Debra" and "Concrete Over Water" (the latter found Ellery alternating between serene verses and violin shredding throughout the chorus). While their set didn't quite match the lightning in a bottle brilliance of their debut, it was a promising set that suggested that they're well on their way to becoming an exciting live act.

I ducked out of Jockstrap's set early to catch Philly hardcore legends, Soul Glo, on the blue stage. SG consists of drummer TJ Stevenson, guitarist GG Guera (who also used a mixer), vocalist Pierce Jordan, and touring bassist Rob Blackwell. SG’s set drew primarily from their excellent LP Diaspora Problems from last year, and was a raucous, no-holds barred approximation of that record's scorched earth sonics and leftist lyricism with the urgency cranked to 11. There were dozens of great moments spread throughout, such as Guerra tossing his guitar into the air multiple times during "Driponomics", and footwork playing during their tuning transitions (perhaps the first and last time I'll ever watch people juke in a mosh pit), which then quickly transitioned into the largest pit that I've ever seen for highlight "Gold Chain Punk". Towards the end of "Gold Chain Punk" Blackwell swapped to guitar, Pierce grabbed the bass, and Guerra delivered the song's final, harrowing shrieks to close it out. While their set obviously wasn't as polished as their studio recordings that would have been beside the point entirely, and thankfully they made good on the righteous (and riotous) promise of those sublime, serrated songs.

After Soul Glo I caught the 2nd half of JPEGMAFIA's green stage set. While Peggy is a consummate performer through and through (especially given that he's a one man rapper, hype man, and dj) his banter is also A1. Between referring to the festival as "Conde Nast Festival", referring to Morrissey as "his boy", chastising the crowd for chanting "Fuck Morrisey" ("Why would you say that, that's so mean?") before going into "I Can't Fucking Wait Until Morrissey is Dead", and claiming that "Pitchfork finally got me back after all that shit I talked about them" (referring to rallying the crowd to chant Fuck P4K at the festival a few years earlier) after his microphone cut out midway through "Baby I'm Bleeding", he was in top form. Naturally, his set predominantly stuck to cuts from Scaring the Hoes, his 2023 collaboration with Danny Brown, but he still snuck in the aforementioned highlights from his breakthrough, Veteran, as well as some solid cuts from the records in-between. As expected, Peggy parlayed his provocations into a rousing performance.

Shortly after Peggy wrapped up Killer Mike started his set on the red stage. Mike's stage was decorated like a church, with an alter, pew, half a dozen flower arrangements, and a gospel choir supporting him alongside his dj (which was all-too fitting for the man who once rapped, on one of his most iconic songs, that the only time that he's ever truly had a religious experience was while listening to rap music). "Idk if y'all were expecting an underground rap show, but this isn't no underground rap show. Today is church" he exclaimed at the jump. He sadly cut "Ready, Set Go" (easily the best song he played) short in favor of almost entirely playing cuts from his latest LP, Michael, none of which are as strong as the songs on Pledge or R.A.P. Music. For every great moment (reading a fan's sign that stated "Mike say stop cop city" to which he replied "idk if we'll stop the evil oligarchs, but I really appreciate the effort") there was an unfortunate one (shouting out Dave Chappelle). The pro landlord bars landed with a thud, but he also preached the necessity of teaching young boys the importance of using condoms. Before getting into his final song he extolled the importance of building community and acting locally (the best way to go about this, he argued, is to wait on your porch with a doobie until your neighbor comes outside and then offer them a hit). The choir was tight, his dj knocked it out of the park, and Mike was in great form, truly rapping like his life depended on it, but the overtly sanctimonious tone dulled what could have been a stellar showcase.

An hour or so after Mike's set ended Kelela began her set on the red stage. Kelela appeared to perform solo (her dj was behind the curtains stage right), and she gave an enthralling performance that leaned heaviest on Raven, her 2023 2nd LP and opus thus far, but she still drew from cuts on her Cut For Me tape, Hallucinogen EP, and debut LP, Take Me Apart. Her performance was a stark reminder of how consistently excellent her output has been throughout her decade of releasing music. Her set unraveled like a greatest hits collection from an artist with a body of work several times larger than hers, and there wasn't a misstep or lull in the momentum throughout it all. Her voice sounded just as good live, but her phrasing and delivery on a few songs was tweaked for some additional flavor. There were too many highlights to list, but her performance of "Raven" was a particularly rapturous moment that unfurled with an understated touch that breathed new life into the song. Her set was easily one of the festival's highlights, and I hope to see her again at some point.

After Kelela's set I caught Bon Iver's headlining set on the green stage to close out the festival. BI's band consisted of 2 drummers, and 3 people working various electronic setups that consisted of keyboard synths and samplers (one of them also played guitar, and another also contributed saxophone and bass) while Justin Vernon alternated between guitar, keyboard synth, and sampler. Their set struggled to build up momentum initially since they were predominantly playing cuts from their severely underwhelming 2019 LP, i,i, but once they started drawing from the other 3 albums (and Blood Bank EP) they locked into a groove that they sustained throughout the rest of their set. It's easy to clown a song like "Skinny Love", but their performance of that song had more personality and urgency than all of the i,i songs combined. In addition to "Skinny Love" the highlights were "10 DEATH BREAST" "Blood Bank", "Holocene", "Perth", and a particularly potent performance of "715 CREEKS". BI are an excellent live act when the songs are there, and despite how increasingly detailed and complex their setup has gotten from album to album it's hard to deny the emotional urgency lying at the heart of their best work, and they've generally done justice to that source material each time that I've seen them. Their set was another ideal closing curtain for another extremely well-curated and executed P4K Festival. It's hard to say if BI will release another album as well-realized as their first 3, but I have to imagine they'll remain an immensely compelling live act for the foreseeable future.

[rezdragon]

On that note, I'm gonna talk about something weird.

Up until recently, I didn't think I loved music as much as my peers did because I didn't own copious amounts of music. I think in total, as far as song I actively listen to, I would say my library of music has about 600 or so songs in it as of right now. That sometimes changes, but it averages around there.

It wasn't until I heard someone much younger than me say that they used to argue with their friends over who had the most music. They told me they had 5,000 songs on their Spotify playlist and it was then that I felt very disconnected to the idea of having "the most music."

Music, to me, is a connection. For example, my bf started getting into Nine Inch Nails in 2017, and I didn't follow suit until 2018 because I didn't connect with the music until then. One day, I was feeling really down, and I wanted to listen to Everyday is Exactly the Same, and then I had the connection and I fell down a massive rabbit hole of getting into NIN. Recently, the band I've been getting into has been Tears for Fears because I had a very emotional moment while listening to Shout on a drive home from... uh, let's just say "the hospital."

Music traps memories and emotions inside of it. fun. still takes me back to my tumblr popularity days in 2013. Fitz and the Tantrums takes me back to being frustrated in the Dairy section while working at Walmart. Bleachers (Gone Now Bleachers) takes me back to the concert I went to in 2017. Wolfgun lifts me up to space, Eminem lets me be angry, and Nine Inch Nails lets me be depressed. Twenty One Pilots (nothing past Blurryface I'm afraid) is that small scared child in me that needs comfort sometimes.

Music is so fucking important to me, and that's why just trying to catch as much as I can doesn't sit well with me. I want to work up to those giant numbers organically, because music makes me feel, and I want to feel each and every song, artist, album at my own pace. It's kinda why I've never personally touched Spotify because yeah, it could show me new music every day, but I won't get to spend time with that music before it shoves something new in my face. It's kinda like forcing me to eat another meal when I'm not ready to, y'know?

idk, maybe I'm just weird and emotional. Music is important to me for emotional reasons. I've had a lot of times in my life where I had nothing to hold onto but a silly pop song, but god damn did that silly pop song help me pull through.

[in-superbloom]

did you ever hear about the girl who got frozen? (a.i.)

right where you left me: prologue

pairing: ashton irwin x olivia jones (oc)

warnings: uhh a kinda grieving theme i guess? but no deaths. it has a sad tone overall, but nothing major (in this chapter hehe). foul language because i can't help myself. the tiniest mention of alcohol, but as a memory. think i should probably warn you that this contains a very sad ash. also not much dialogues. this is mainly for explanation and introduction, but very important for the story. if you find anything else that might be triggering, please let me know so i can add it here !!

author's note: oof okay. so. this is the prologue of a series very very dear to my heart that i've been working on for what it feels like my whole life but really it's been just a few months. but i'm in love with the story (which rarely happens with my own writing) so i hope you can enjoy it too !! this is also my very first time posting a fic since 2013 so pls keep that in mind <3 no i am not shaking as type this ofc not also: although i have the full story ready in my head, this is the only chapter that's written. i wanted to wait until i had at least a few ready before posting this but i'm too anxious for that lmao just saying this bc it will take a good while until i have any more chapters, so <3 (p.s.: i went over this thing a million times since may so if you find any errors pls look away, i'm not fixing this thing anymore. thanks <3)

another note: anna from the future here to say that i completely forgot about the playlist i made for the story lmao here it is in case you're interested k thanks bye <3

credits: title is from taylor swift's song right where you left me. model in the picture: paola locatelli. banner by me.

i also wanted to take a minute to thank some really nice friends that i've made here over these past few months & that i'm extremely grateful for @wastelandcth @suchalonelysunflower @littledrummerangie i cannot thank you babes enough for inspiring me the way that you do & for letting me yell about this to you && for encouraging me so much 🥺 i'll never be able to explain just how much this means to me, so i'll have to settle for saying thank you at any change that i can get <3 i love you all 💜 also gem my baby, thank you for the inspo with the banner 💚

@bluesdelis look babe i did it 😌 you know how grateful i am for you & for you letting me have a breakdown every week about my writing for the past 8 years so let's not dive into that or else i will write something bigger than this prologue jsjsjdjd love you 🖤

i hope you all have a good reading and a nice day ♡

let me know what are your thoughts about the fic ! ♡

word count: 4.1k

☆☆☆

Cold. That was the first thing that Olivia’s brain processed.

Still with her eyes closed, she buried herself more into the duvet, while her arm blindly reached for the furnace in human form that she calls boyfriend. However, as soon as her arm was only met with cold sheets, her eyes shot open.

Blinking the sleep away, she sat up on the bed, searching for the infamous red clock resting on Ashton’s bedside table that was supposed to look like a vintage alarm clock. Olivia had ordered it online at an auction website a couple of years back, as a gift for his 23rd birthday, since it was something he had mentioned multiple times prior that he was looking for, but still hadn't found. But when it finally came in (two weeks after the due date), it looked nothing like the picture she saw on the website. Feeling beyond frustrated, she wanted to send it back immediately and ask for a refund and maybe leave a not so polite review on the seller's page. But Ashton stopped her right away, laughing like the situation was absolutely hilarious to him, while saying, 'I like it, it’s quirky'. So, the clock stayed and found a home right next to him in their room.

Some days, however, she would wake up at some ungodly hour because of the blaring noise of the only ringtone the clock had. But whatever annoyance she could feel towards the object, it always vanished as soon as she felt Ashton's lips gently touching her face in a good morning kiss before he would get up to start his day, leaving her to catch some more hours of well deserved sleep.

As the furthest from a morning person as a touring musician could possibly be, Olivia had always feared that living under the same roof as Ashton would turn her into an early bird like him, but she's thankful that it never happened (not that he needs to know about that).

When she sees the red clock, she smiles at the sudden but welcome memories of them flooding her foggy brain, but frowns slightly when she realizes it reads 12:13 pm. Ashton rarely lets her sleep past 10 am.

Gathering all her strength and will, she rises up from the bed, smoothly picking up a grey wool sweatshirt from the chair (way too baggy on her slim body, but it smells like him), pulling it over her head and relishing on the soft material warming up her body. Making her way to the door and calmly going down the stairs, she can’t help but stop for a minute to admire the picture frames on their walls, one in particular catches her attention – probably one of the most prized pictures and memories they had. It felt older than it actually is, but it was around 4 years ago, she's sure – a little while after the two of them met. The picture was of their group of friends that still remains the same: Ashton and his best friend, Luke; Olivia, her best friend, Calum and their old hometown friend, turned into Calum’s new friend at college, turned into everyone’s friend, Michael; and her then newly band members, Suki, Eli and Ravi. Together, their group was the life of the party through all their college years, and it showed by the big smiles and drinks in hands they all had in the picture. It was a very special night, the first time Olivia’s little band played for the public – for a small audience sure, but it was a wonderful night nonetheless. What a long road it had been since that night.

Her nostalgic thoughts were interrupted by a shiver that went through her whole body, and it made her realize how oddly cold the whole house was, not only their bedroom. Which, granted, it was November in New York and the weather was just getting colder, but that’s exactly why Ashton always made sure to keep the house warm enough. As much as she loved the chilly season, the warm weather always reminded him of his hometown, and who was she to deny him that?

The smell of fresh made coffee could be sensed even before she reached the kitchen. Arriving there, the curly haired woman still found no signs of her boyfriend, so she went straight after the coffee maker pot sitting on the far left corner of the cream marble counter. Smiling softly at the tons of memories of Ashton's sleepy figure making their favorite beverage, she reached for a coffee mug on the cupboard on top of the counter and poured the remainder of the hot liquid on it (it's her favorite mug, if she must choose – it was a gift from a fan, and it had printed on it a collage of the pictures of her and Ashton that were posted on social media through their first year of relationship).

Moving to the glass doors that lead to the mini garden they cultivate, she didn't have to open them to spot the 6-feet-tall man sitting on a bench outside, looking oddly small in his oversized clothes, coffee mug tightly held between strong hands. Something about his figure made Olivia frown, however: he was staring with an unwavering look at her small but eye-catching pot of yellow daffodils that were almost as much of a pet to them as Stitch at this point. Sensing that there’s something definitely off about his semblance, she made a mental note to talk to him and find out what’s wrong later. So she goes back to the kitchen, knowing that he might need this quiet and private moment for himself.

She lost count of the minutes that went by (couldn't have been more than five) before she hears the garden's door opening and closing, and then his bare feet are dragging his brawny body to her. Except, he goes over to the sink, walking right through her, not showing any sign that he even saw her hunched figure over the counter table in the middle of the room.

Alright, someone's in a mood.

Olivia tries to swallow the annoyance already bubbling inside her – he knows how much she hates to be ignored, no matter how mad he might be – by trying to think of what she can say that won't piss him off. This is always a hard feat to accomplish when Ashton gets in these moods, but there’s a reason for them to work so well together.

“I missed my favorite body heater when I woke up,” she says in her best sweet voice, knowing how quickly his resolve crumbles when he hears that voice.

Still, no reaction.

That settles a worry at the pit of her stomach, because Ashton is never like this. Even when he's not in the mood to talk, he always gives some kind of reaction to her words; it doesn't matter how small, just enough to make her feel acknowledged.

When he's finished washing his mug and the few scattered dishes across the sink – she noticed that he already had lunch, if the lone plate in the drying rack is anything to go by –, he dries his hand in a towel, turns around and throws it on top of the same counter Olivia was leaning up against. Once again, he walks away not even sparing her a look.

Indignant, she leaves the now empty coffee mug on top of the table and follows him as he walks up the stairs, any determination to not aggravate his mood now well gone.

“Hey! In case you didn't notice, I'm right here. Whatever got you in this sour mood, I'm certainly not to blame, so can you stop being a child now and talk to me?!”

Ashton just keeps walking – more like sluggishly dragging his body – until he reaches their bedroom and suddenly stops just merely two feet inside the room, looking around with vacant eyes; like he was expecting to see something that wasn't there.

“Okay, that's really mature of you. Are you planning on ignoring me all day then?” Olivia questions exasperated, staring angrily at the back of his neck, where the condor tattoo lives – her favorite of his, but that sight doesn't bring her any peace today like it usually does.

Her glare only breaks when she hears the familiar sound of dog tags swaying on her right side. Shifting her gaze to the direction of the sound, Olivia notices Stitch, their small, black & white French bulldog – who she thought was outside in the garden – slowly trudging his way from around the bed until he stops at Ashton's feet, looking up at one of his humans with sad eyes. That realization only makes the worry in her stomach grow uncomfortably.

“Hi buddy,” Ashton's voice cracks a bit from the lack of use, but he smiles softly at the sweet dog, and crouches down to pet him.

Olivia can't help but gasp as she notices three things all at once that leave her overwhelmed: first, how she didn't even notice Stitch was in the room when she woke up – which never ever happens, in fact, most days he wakes her up whenever he deems her bedtime as finished and can't ever contain his excitement when she finally gets up; second, how the windows blinds are closed, which, again, rarely occurs under their roof, not if Ashton can help it. And third, how sad and melancholic the whole scene in front of her is – how sad and melancholic Ashton is. Pointless to say by now – that's also a very rare occasion.

A chill creeps up Olivia's spine, putting her body into high alert and also serving as a reminder of how everything looks out of place today. Trying to keep her head from spiraling down way too soon, she wraps her arms around herself and crouches down beside her two favorite boys, trying once more.

“Ash? Can you hear me?” even with her throat closing, she softly asks, purposefully putting her face in Ashton's point of view. Her only answer is the low whispers he's letting out to Stitch, while cradling the tiny dog in his arms, spreading gentle kisses on his head.

“I know, bud, I know. I miss her too,” is the only whisper she could understand and immediately wishes she hadn't. The weak wail that comes from Stitch's throat seems to fit perfectly with how the three of them feel.

Ashton then looks up and for a couple of seconds, and Olivia can swear he’s staring right into her eyes. But when he shows no reaction, she knows he’s just staring ahead and not at her, with that look that says there’s too much going on inside his head. She feels the urge to embrace him and get him to talk about whatever is on his mind, so they can share that weight like they always do, but when Ashton gets up from the ground and settles on the bed with Stitch, Olivia can physically feel the crack in her heart caused by the feeling she’s left with.

While Ashton is pulling the duvet over him and the dog, with clearly no intentions of getting up anytime soon, Olivia stands up on her feet with a new-found determination – she needs to figure out what the hell is going on.

This nightmare had to be just that, right? Nothing but a very vivid dream – she's had those before. Scary sure, but they always go away, and soon enough she's back into Ashton's arms, with Stitch jumping on the bed ready to lick their faces off. She just needs to wake herself up from whatever fucked up dream this is – right?

She's running down the stairs this time, frantically in search of something, of what exactly, she doesn’t know – but she knows she needs an answer. The more she looks for something, the more desperate she gets, not knowing what to look for. Then suddenly, something catches her eyes.

The white and blue calendar that's held up by magnets on the side of the fridge. She knows their calendar is red and yellow. They got it from their favorite flower market. Slowly, as if scared of what it might be there – “It's just a calendar, for fucks sake” – she approaches the damn thing. Upon inspection, she deems it as a normal calendar – she really doesn't know what she was expecting – until.

She knows what's wrong with it now.

It's November. She knows it, because the Asian and last leg of her first world tour is about to begin November 21st, eleven days from today. Right after Mike's birthday, she knows this.

Then why does the calendar say today is January 14th?

☆ ☆ ☆

Ashton woke up with a jolt. He quickly sat up, frightening the little Frenchie that was asleep right next to him on the bed. Trying to make sense of his surroundings, he roughly rubbed his face to get some sleep off of it and soon reached for the dog that was staring at him with sleepy but sad eyes. Ashton is sure Stitch understands far more than a dog is supposed to understand about their current situation.

The room is covered in shadows, almost pitch black, but he can see the sunlight even through the thick dark grey blinds covering up the windows. Ashton knows he won't be able to sleep again at that moment, so he gets up from the bed – much slower than he used to. His heartbeat is still out of control because of the nightmare that woke him up, but he can't bother to pay attention to it when Stitch is softly wailing beside him. Ashton lets out a ghost of a smile when the dog rests his head on his right upper thigh, looking up at him with an expression Ashton knows all too well.

“C'mon you little ravenous creature, let's feed you,” the bulldog excitedly jumps to the ground, already running his way down the stairs, not even waiting for Ashton to get up.

That gets a real smile out of him, but it vanishes as soon as he glances at the alarm clock on his bedside table. It reads 5:13 am, nothing out of the ordinary for him. But that small and inoffensive clock, with its red paint peeling off, holds a lot of memories for him. Memories that two months ago would bring joy to his heart, but now he almost wants to throw the object across the room.

It was a stupid thing, really. He had been wanting a vintage alarm clock and Olivia got one for his birthday. But the product they received was definitely not the one she bought, and if he's being honest, he didn't like it as much as he made out to. But seeing her so excited in the weeks before it arrived, and how disappointed she was when it did, he couldn't help but try his best to make her smile that luminous smile again. It's part of his nature by now.

That's also the reason why he lets her think that he doesn't notice when she wakes up at some ungodly hour (her words, not his) along with him, because of the annoying and only sound the alarm clock is able to produce. He always leaves soft kisses in every inch of bare skin he can find on her sleeping figure, so she goes back to the dream land and doesn't wake up before 10 am. No one wants to deal with that kind of bad humor, not even him.

As much as he likes being a morning person and absolutely enjoys her company in the mornings, he knows she'll take any and every extra hour of sleep she can get before starting the day. And that's why he loves that she's so stubborn that his early bird tendencies never got to her – he knows she feared that this would happen when they moved in together, but he met her like this, fell for her like this. He wouldn't change a single thing about her.

Ashton drags himself out of the bed, wincing slightly at how cold the wooden floors are under his bare feet. He doesn't bother putting some socks on, or a sweater – the cold weather in the house is uncharacteristically comforting to him. Nothing feels warm without her anyway.

While descending the stairs, he mentally curses himself for not being strong enough to look past the picture frames on the wall. One in particular catches his eyes – a picture from the night of Olivia's first concert with her band. The memories of that night are still painfully vivid in his mind: the laughter among their group that eventually infected everyone at the pub, Suki and Luke's first kiss and the silly smile that didn't leave his best friend's face all night, the standing ovation Olivia got after her three-songs set, and her captivating and breathtaking smile that made him realize right then and there, while watching her sway to the music, that he was definitely falling in love with her and there was nothing he could do to stop it – not that he wanted to.

So many memories held up on that wall, in the relatively short time since they met, that he can't help but wonder if that's all they'll get in this lifetime.

Ashton is abruptly taken out of his thoughts by Stitch's barks coming from the bottom of the stairs. He quickly jogs down the few steps left and goes straight after the dog's food in the kitchen's cabinet. After Stitch starts to happily devour his breakfast, Ashton goes to make his coffee, doing enough for two people like he always does, since Calum drops by most days for a chat or to drop Duke before going to work. Although all three of them know he just can't bother to make food for himself in the morning, while Ashton is the group's elected chef. Ashton always says he just needs a boyfriend – Olivia says Calum already has one who makes him breakfast every day.

He grabs an apple from the fridge and makes his way outside to their garden. Even though a lot of their memories took place there, the garden is the only space in the house where he doesn't feel like suffocating all the time. At least here, he can breathe some fresh air and look at the sky when he's feeling overwhelmed – which is basically all he's been doing for about a month now.

Yet, a lot of the garden has Olivia's name written all over.

He remembers vividly the day she came home after spending two weeks in LA doing some pocket shows, with a pack of daffodil seeds and the largest smile. She excitedly told him that a friend gifted it to her when she mentioned the little garden they were planning to build together at their new house. The friend told Olivia that daffodils symbolize rebirth and new beginnings, so as the good lover of symbolism that she is, Olivia loved the idea of having those flowers to symbolize their new beginning.

Ashton, on the other hand, wasn't a fan of the flowers at first – he just didn't see the appeal to them. But nonetheless, he indulged her, letting Olivia plant the seeds near the bench they used to sit during the quiet and unrushed afternoons, so they could admire the sunset, and she could happily look at the daffodils.

Pointless to say – the damn flowers grew on him.

Now, however, looking at them without Olivia and her contagious joy next to him, they were back to be as dull as they were before, if not more so.

Still lost inside his head without any sense of how much time went by since he sat down, Ashton doesn't hear the front door closing, and doesn't notice that he's no longer the only person inside the house until someone sits next to him on the bench. Yet, he doesn't show any sign of acknowledgement to them.

A few minutes go by before either of them speaks up.

“Luke said you didn't go to see her yesterday,” Calum starts softly, not wanting to disturb the calmness of the morning.

Ashton takes a few seconds to respond, “No point in doing that.” The black haired man licks his lips while thinking carefully about his next words.

“You know staying inside this house all day by yourself won't help either,” Calum turns his head to his left and takes a good look at Ashton's uncharacteristically hunched over figure, and immediately thinks that anyone can tell this man is not himself anymore. His second thought is that Olivia would hate seeing him like this.

“And what exactly do you expect me to do? Move on with my life like nothing happened? Like I'm not slowly and painfully losing the love of my life? Just because it’s easy for you doesn't mean it's easy for me.”

Calum closes his eyes and takes a deep breath. He knows Ashton doesn't mean it, it's the anger and frustration talking. He knows it. Doesn't make it sting any less.

“I'm not telling you to move on with your life, because that's far from what I'm doing, and I certainly don't expect you to do it. I'm just saying you need to occupy your mind or else–”

“I'll go insane? Think it's a bit too late for that,” Ashton interrupts with a bitter tone that doesn't belong to his usual chirpy voice.

“You know it's not,” Calum sighs and drinks the rest of his coffee, moving his body slightly, so he's facing the blonde man, “I got a job interview for you at that school you talked about so much last summer, the principal said you can go any day this week. I went ahead and sent her your resume as well as explained everything that she needs to know about Olivia, so you don't have to. You just gotta put on some decent clothes and show up.” he sees Ashton's face softening a little and takes it as a victory. A few beats go by and then, “Maybe take a shower too. That's gonna make you feel better.” Calum leans in closer to his friend's personal space and takes a sniff, causing Ashton to deflect from him slightly, but not to push him away – another small win.

“Definitely take a shower, you stink. When was the last time your hair saw shampoo?”

“Fuck off,” is Ashton's only reply to the younger man's inquest. But Calum can see a smile creeping up on the blonde's face, which brings out a smile of his own.

“I'll send you all the details later today,” he checks the hour on the watch on his wrist and gets up, “Just please, Ash, go. I can't lose you too.”

Calum gently lays a hand on Ashton's shoulder and squeezes a little. The man doesn't look up, but gives a curt nod to his friend, who's satisfied enough. Calum stops on the threshold of the garden glass doors to give some kisses to Stitch – who came to make Ashton company as soon as he finished his food –, and then he puts the coffee mug on the dishwater. And soon enough, he's on his way out of the door. But not before snatching a tangerine from the fridge.

Ashton is left by himself once again. As he hears the sound of the front door closing, he thinks that this might be his life from now on. Just him and Stitch, trying their hardest to make it through another miserable day without the love of their lives. While everyone else comes by just to make sure he's still breathing. Breathing, maybe, but alive?

Swallowing the tears, he looks up at the sky. It's a deep, beautiful mix of orange, pink and blue, but he knows that it won't last long and soon the rain will be pouring down. He thinks about how much Olivia loves the rain.

God, he needs to pull himself together. She would hate to see him like this. Maybe he should take Calum's offer after all, he really needs to occupy his mind.

Making a mental note to thank Calum later, and also to apologize for how rude he was to him this morning, Ashton slowly gets up from the bench to put his mug on the sink and makes his way to the living room, with the small dog loyally following his every step. He puts on some cartoon that for once doesn't remind him of her (she always lovingly made fun of him for still watching those) and cuddles with Stitch on the couch. He can take a shower later.

Not half an hour goes by, he falls asleep and has a good dream for a change. He dreams of the days he spent with Olivia in the Philippines last February, right before her first world tour started. Some of the most magical days of their lives – surrounded by delicious food, a whole new culture to learn about and the warmth of the sun. Infinite counted days full of love and passion, where they were the only people in the world.

Even his subconscious knows to hold on to that brief moment of happiness, because he might never live that again.

[bbyjimni]

Our Night (M)

—

pairing: park jimin x female reader

brief description -you and jimin take the night back to a hotel, very intoxicated and very horny.

warnings/contains - daddy kink, ddlg themes, heavy making out, (slight) exhibitionism, groping, dom/sub themes, dom!jimin, sub!reader, shower intimacy, fingering

words - 1.8k

(hi so this is actually a snippet of something ive been in the midst of writing for a LONG time lolol also sorry for the weird spacing i write my stuff on Wattpad and it comes out weird on here 😭)

(if u guys like it ill eventually finish the full thing hehe)

—

"Jimin!" You yelped between kisses as he jokingly grabbed your breast. He giggled before eagerly pressing his lips back onto yours. The elevator door opened not too long before your make-out session grew hotter with more grabbing and groping.

"I can't help myself baby, you're just so irresistible."

After a night of dancing, drinking, and flirting with each other, you both decided to end this event on a pleasant note.

It took a few days for the sassy maknae to convince the others to let him go out with you tonight, also including a couple of chores to do as well (courtesy of Jungkook and Namjoon). However, it was worth it, you got to have a night with each other that you'll never forget. You definitely won't forget the way he looked when he first picked you up from your home either.

His black leather jacket and jeans sure as hell made him look like a dime piece, it was as if he was a gourmet meal for eyes.

You stumbled out, still attached to each other, and at least, tried to find your way back to your room. Although you shouldn't be doing something so uncouth in a public place, the both of you really couldn't help yourselves. His lips were plump and soft as if they were meant to be fooling with yours. You loved the way his tongue would intertwine with yours, the sweet taste of his mouth mixing in with yours. While trying to get to your room, you ended up ramming yourselves into a wall, your make-out was just that intense. You both drunkenly laughed about it, still keeping your lips close to resume your heated kissing.

"{name}, put your legs around me." He whispered in your ear, sending sensual chills through your body.

"You're too small Chimmy, you'll probably fall over."

"I don't care if you're small or have the biggest ass on the block, put your legs around me." Despite him being kind of a little guy (in your intoxicated eyes), you were somewhat scared of disobeying him, especially being drunk. Being pinned against the wall, you easily wrapped yourself around him, seeing him grin out of satisfaction. You slithered your arms around his neck and felt his hands grab your cheeks, caressing your thighs from behind. You were surprised he was able to carry you like this, maybe the muscles from his 2013 phase had stayed.

Bringing your lips back into a kiss, he fumbled his hand into his back pocket, making sure he had the room key there. He opened one eye to see where he was going and pulled it out, soon slamming you against a random room door.

He pulled away and panted, "Baby, do you know the room number?"

"321." Jimin looked behind your head and saw that the room number on the door was actually 319, meaning your horny attitudes most likely woke up or scared someone to death.

"Damn it, this isn't it." He stepped away and looked around, soon spotting your room. He carried you over, swiping the card and unlocking the door. You smiled at each other and locked lips once again, messing around with each other's clothing. You noticed the chilliness of the room, receiving an idea from the lack of heat.

"Chim Chim, it's so cold...Why don't we take this to the shower?" You playfully whined at him, getting a kiss from him.

"Anything for you, princess." He whispered in your ear once again, making you sigh from the arousal you were in. He kicked off his shoes and walked in the room a little more, finding a door to what was presumed to be the bathroom and opening it. He flicked the light on and glanced around the place, enjoying the layout, space, and the shower the most. You got down from Jimin and stepped out of your heels, unzipping your tight black dress and leaving the rest for him to take off.

"The rest is for you, daddy." You purred, making him smile devilishly. He took off his jacket and threw it on the floor, attacking you with kisses once again. He snuck his hands on your thighs, slinking them up the dress and becoming surprised.

"No panties for me, eh baby?"

You looked away and glimpsed back at him, putting your hands on the counter before getting involved in yet another heated kiss. While his tongue toyed with yours, he grinded up against you, making you moan softly between his lips. Jimin yanked the sleeves of the dress down your arms, exposing your voluptuous chest. He unbuckled his belt, forcing his jeans down to his feet and stepping out of them, all without breaking the kiss. You unclipped your bra and threw it to some random place in the bathroom, following up with taking off the rest of your dress, revealing your body to Jimin. He licked your lips and smiled under the kiss, soon pulling away and walking into the shower to turn on the water.

"Make it hot, Jimin. I wanna be sweating by the time you're done with me."

"Mm, I think I can do that on my own, baby cakes." You ran your fingers through your hair as Jimin turned on the water, sticking his finger under it until it was the right temperature. He beckoned his finger at you and walked back in, having you soon follow behind him. His hair flattened the moment he came in contact with the water, making him look maybe twice as attractive as he already was. You shut the frosted glass door behind you and attacked Jimin with more kissing, not even close to resisting his beautiful body.

While your lips danced so sensually together and you immersed in the water together, your hands laid on his toned stomach, handling the time and work he's put into his physique. His grip around your hips was tight, holding onto you as if you'd vanish as if he didn't.

All of a sudden, he turned you around so that he was facing your back. His hands travelled all around you, caressing and massaging your soft, wet skin. He took one hand and moved your saturated hair to the side, bringing his soothing lips to your neck and leaving little love-bites on you. You groaningly sighed as you felt his tongue on you. Although his mouth was warm and delectable, the heat of the shower overpowered him and made his tongue feel cold on you. He kept one hand still against your stomach, letting you hold his hand tightly.

"Do you like the way I touch you?" He whispered in your ear, grinding against you and feeling your skin from behind. His hands roamed your body, feeling every inch of your drenched silhouette. You bit your lip and furrowed your eyebrows as his hand came closer to your womanhood, already having sweet arousal pool at your entrance. He brought his small but pleasing, slender fingers to your lips, spreading them and rubbing your sensitive bud. The hot shower and Jimin feeling your body made you feel twice as hot and steamy as you should be, making you a hot and flustered mess.

Jimin grinned as he played with you, enjoying the sexy whines that escaped your lewd lips. He delved his fingers deeper, touching your tangy tasting liquids.

"You're so wet for me baby.."

"It's all because of you, daddy." You followed up with a moan as he pressed his fingers against you, sending surges of pleasure throughout your entire body.

The more he felt you, the more you felt yourself become soaking wet for him. Each time he spoke to you, you could hear the lust dripping from his tongue as much as you could taste it when you kissed him. The way you felt his length brush against you made you want to go insane, considering how badly you wanted it inside you. You wanted to please him with your body, whichever way you could. You wanted to make Jimin feel like his head was in a cloud of ecstasy, to make him feel things no other woman could do for him but for now, it was his turn.

With no warning, he slipped his fingers inside of you, making you bite your lip and rest your head against his shoulder, closing your eyes as you already begin to clench around his fingers out of eagerness. As he played with you, he became more and more excited by your sounds; the neediness in your voice gave him chills that seemed to be strong enough to give goosebumps even under steaming, hot water. He continue to press his lips along your neck, I littering it with love kitten licks and bites. Speeding up the pace of his fingers, he pulls away from your neck, whispering in your ear with his slurred, deep voice, "I can't f-fucking wait to be buried in this pussy.".

Just hearing him made your legs buckle down and your eyes almost roll to the back of your head, he was making you feel so euphoric. You couldn't tell if it was because you were drunk or he was just so amazing at pleasuring you but you weren't complaining. Out of nowhere, he curled his fingers upwards, making you cry out with furrowed eyebrows, your hips grinding against his hand.

"Please make me cum, daddy, I want it so badly..." You whine, feeling yourself come closer to a climax. Bringing your hand behind his head to feel him, you turn your head and needily kiss him, moaning nonsense against his lips. Enjoying the sudden boldness you brought upon, as he fucks you with his fingers, he presses his thumb to your clit and applies pressure, his other hand grabbing and squeezing one of your breasts. Slipping your tongue in his mouth, he nibbles it, opening his eyes only to see how easily you've fallen apart in his arms.

"Look at me, little girl. I wanna see how good my baby looks while she cums." He orders, rubbing your clit in a circular motion, knowing you're bound to let go soon.

You opened your eyes and looked up at him as if he had stolen all of the stars in the sky for you. His fingers had you feeling so weak, you could almost barely handle the knot that formed in your stomach, ready to let go and release its feeling of pure bliss.

"Are you gonna be a good girl and cum for daddy like he asks?"

"Y-yes, daddy, fuck- please make me cum!" He smirks at the way you beg for him, bringing his free hand down to your ass, spanking it as he dominates your mouth once more. While finishing up his little game, your walls clench hard around his fingers, your liquids covering them as you reach your climax, cursing and crying out. He slowed his fingers down before feeling how smooth your pussy became, collecting some of your arousal on his fingers, bringing them to his lips.

"You're such a good girl."

[nctseren]

❝ For a long time, love was unattainable for her. She wrote, sang and dreamed about it, but she had never been truly in love.

The truth is that, and although she denies it, Kang Sohee is a hopeless romantic and she always has been. She often dreamed of meeting the right person and doing everything right so that love would last... and not fade like her parents' love.

However, love is strange and it does not come easy. She has learned that you can meet thousands of people and yet none of them will make you feel the things that you are supposed to feel.

She has also learned that you can mistake love. And as much as it hurts and breaks your soul, there are people you were born to love, and there are others you were not.

So, Seren doesn't have much experience in romance. And she's slowly learning that love and infatuation are two different things, that it doesn't have to hurt, that it should make you feel happy, and that you don't go looking for the right person, because eventually fate brings you together. ❞

⟶crush list

—WANG YONG

❝ I'm too shy to tell you how I feel.

So I'll hide behind timid smiles and soft hellos.

I'm afraid if I ask you: "what do you think of me? " your reply will be "I don't" ❞

duration of crush: 2014 — 2015

relationship: close friends, one side crush

current status: they haven't spoken in a long time but she still cares for him

their things: practicing together, sharing chocolates, him giving her books and then the next week sharing opinions about them, eating together all the time

playlist: kid in love by shawn mendes & u smile by justin bieber

Wang Yong came to SM Entertainment in late 2012 and Lee Taeyong quickly took care of him under his wing. He was quite a popular trainee, not only because of his looks, but also because of his great talent for dancing, despite his young age. He was to the younger ones what Kang Seulgi was to Sohee.

Wang Yong was a sweet guy, it was inevitable for girls not to have a crush on him, and anyone in his place would take advantage of it, but not him. He was focused on doing what he had to do: training hard. That's the reason why his only friends for a long time were only Taeyong and Hansol.

Kang Sohee (long before she was known as Seren) officially met him in late 2013, after watching him practice. They did not become friends right away, since it was not easy for him to open up to other people. However, when she became close to Taeyong, they inevitably had to become friends. And then they connected thanks to dancing, something they were both passionate about. They went from being acquaintances to partners who practiced together to friends. Then it was not only Wong Yong, Lee Taeyong and Ji Hansol, now it was also Kang Sohee.

2014 was a rough year for her, starting from the loss of her grandparents to learning that she was not going to debut with Red Velvet. It was the most difficult year for her in all that time locked up, but her friends were with her. And he didn't go unnoticed, no matter how hard he tried. He always carried an extra portion of food for her, left her books that he thought she would like and always pretended not to learn the choreography so that she could teach him and in that way distract her mind by doing what she likes the most.

It really wasn't difficult to like Wang Yong, he was sweet and a good boy. Soon she found herself thinking that she really liked the way he wrinkled his nose when he laughed, or how his eyes sparkled when someone complimented him and, most of all, the way he tilted his head when he was confused. And then every time he looked at her she felt something in her stomach (and no, she had thought the first time she felt it, it can't be diarrhea), her cheeks would blush and it was difficult for her to keep look at him.

He was her crush for a few months and suddenly their interactions were shy smiles and sharing chocolates. Until he was no longer making her feel like she was flying. He meant a lot to her because not only he was her first butterflies in her stomach, he was also one of her close friends and one of the most supportive.

Sometimes she still thinks about him, what is he doing? how is he doing? what it would have been like if he had debuted in NCT instead of her? SM Entertainment did not treat him well, apparently his voice was not good enough, in the future they had told him. All she knows is that he returned to his home in China, and all she hopes is that he's truly happy.

—MARK LEE

❝ There's a boy I like.

He smiles so bright and my heart can't take it.

There's a boy I like.

We both love the same things.

There's a boy I like.

I think about him all the time.

There's a boy I like.

He's my best friend. ❞

duration of crush: 2017 — early 2018

relationship: bandmates, best friends, crush

current status: bandmates, best friends, partners in crime

their things: holding hands, sharing songs, singing, rapping, dancing together, telling jokes, listening to music, trying to teach her basketball, teaching him to play futboll soccer, doing karaoke

playlist: the one that got away by katy perry & walk you home by nct dream & everything has changed by taylor swift & catching feelings by justin bieber & whenever you are by 5sos

For a long time, Mark was the closest thing to a best friend that she had. They practically grew up together (and are still growing). They wouldn't exactly tell each other everything, but they did trust each other. And every day, especially when they missed home, they would get together to tell their funniest childhood stories, and then listen to music for the rest of the time, enjoying each other's company.

Maybe that's what made her have feelings for him. Maybe it was the inside jokes, the laughs, the songs, maybe it was all together.

It was different, of course. It didn't feel at all like her first crush. No, it was definitely stronger, because they were Mark and Seren — everyone was talking about Mark and Seren: NCT's 99 line, best friends.

Liking Mark was a fresh feeling, no discomfort, no obvious blushes, no big butterflies either. No, liking Mark was being at peace. Being comfortable in his presence, hearing him sing, sharing smiles, doing mischief together, it all felt too good... almost like she was born for it.

And maybe she was born to love Mark, but in another life. Because on this one Mark Lee and Kang Sohee were just best friends. And although at nights she sometimes dreamed of his eyes, the same ones that hold thousands of stars, in the morning she reminded herself that nothing could change the friendship they had.

That's one of the reasons why she didn't do anything about it, that and because she didn't want to ruin all their efforts just for a crush.

It was difficult for her, because months passed and she kept thinking about him. Until eventually she stopped seeing him in a romantic way, his hugs stopped making her feel things (things you're not supposed to feel for a friend) and at night his eyes and laughter stopped appearing.

Now that time has passed, she realizes that staying best friends with him is a hundred times better than a possible relationship with him. And she prays, Oh, she prays that Mark Lee's future partner can love and appreciate him as much as he deserves... As much as she could have.

⟶dating list

—MOONBIN

❝ I enjoy our time together. And your laugh, your voice, your kisses. I enjoy you.

We may not be in love and that's okay for us.

Because what matters right now is that we're both having fun. ❞

public knowledge: private (only friends)

duration of relationship: march 2018 — april 2018

relationship: fling

current status: friends

their things: hanging out with friends, kisses, supporting each other, hugs

playlist: we are young by fun feat janelle monaé & locked out of heaven by bruno mars

They met at some awards and immediately they knew there was attraction, so they exchanged phone numbers and soon found themselves talking every single day.

They both knew what it was and what they wanted, to be young and have fun.

Those two months sometimes felt like an eternity, because they genuinely had a good time together. There was always fun, affection and, most importantly, sincerity.

They both knew it was meant to be over, so they enjoyed it.

Having fun with Moonbin felt like riding the drop tower: they weren't afraid of it, they just felt the adrenaline and fun you feel being up there in the air. But just as fast it goes up, it also goes down. And even though in the end you seem to want more, you know enough was enough.

—WOOSEOK

❝ I loved you as Icarus loved the sun — too close, too much. ❞

public knowledge: private for three months until their members found out

duration of relationship: july 2018 — january 2019

relationship: kind of dated, never really had a "tittle"

current status: acquaintances, they don't really talk anymore

their things: secret dates, midnight calls, back hugs, kisses

playlist: sweet creature by harry styles & the scientist by coldplay & the end of love by florence + the machine & it will rain by bruno mars

Kang Sohee and Jung Wooseok were never in love, but they might as well have been.

They met in mid-2018 thanks to a close friend, and the physical attraction was so immense that without thinking they both decided to give it a try. It was all very fast, but the result had been good. They were something, no tittle, yet they didn't care because they were okay with that.

Their relationship was like trying a new dish, they didn't know what to expect: they didn't know if it would be sweet or salty, everything was so different. But they had liked it. They spent a good time together, sometimes hiding from their members, it was a little secret that only the two of them knew.

They loved what they had. Midnight calls, secret dates, just sneaking around their members backs like that. It was exciting and fun. They were young people enjoying themselves.

Until it became real. Too real.

Suddenly they weren't just missing each other's presence, but they craved for their touch and kisses.

It was almost like an obsession. Every time they were together they felt intoxicated. They needed more, they wanted more.

And that wasn't healthy nor they where ready for that.

So, because they cared about each other, they put a stop to it. God knows that if they had stayed together, they would have burned.

—THE8

❝ The Ego asked:

'What is Love? It's too big of a word for me. I don't understand it at times.'

The Soul replied:

'If you understand Kindness

If you understand Respect

If you understand Acceptance

Then you will understand Love.' ❞

public knowledge: private (only members and close friends)

duration of relationship: december 2019 — present

relationship: acquaintances to friends to lovers

current status: in love, best friends

their things: nose, forehead and cheek kisses, showing her his art, painting together, taking pictures, listening to music, dedicating songs, slow dancing, hype man! hype woman!, writing songs about each other, domestic dates

playlist: love someone by lukas graham & ily by the rose & common by zayn & have you ever been in love? by the ivy & love somebody like you by joan & sunday morning by maroon 5 & natural by zayn

Falling for Xu Minghao was like breathing, so natural, so effortless, without realizing it.

They met in 2018 and for a year they were just acquaintances: their bandmate's friend. There were few interactions, maybe greetings and a few smiles. But when she has a very persistent Boo Seungkwan as her best friend, it was only a matter of time before she eventually became friends with the rest of them.

Being friends with Minghao is yellow, like observing the sunset. It's relaxing, enthusiastic, supportive, positivity, happiness...

It was an unexpected friendship but suddenly they were sharing songs, painting together and hanging out a lot more than with their original friends. Soft laughs, little jokes, looks full of adoration — it was so obvious that there was something there, they could feel it and everyone could see it. And still it took almost a year for them to take the risk. Was it really mutual or were they just imagining it?

He was the first to take the step, because even if it was all in his head at least he would be at peace knowing that he tried and didn't just let her go.

It was silly, really, how much they wanted to be together and how much they doubted.

Loving Minghao is comforting, honest, understanding, compassion, teamwork, sometimes overwhelming, and a new feeling that completely scares her because she has never been in love or in a serious relationship, yet she is sure of one thing: discovering those feelings with him was her best decision.

[harleyliloquin88]

Memories

Memories ( Dean x Reader)

Warning:/sadness/ heartache/ heartbreak/ tension/ depression/ pain

FYI I wrote this while I was watching the notebook lol

Hey guys sorry its been a while since i wrote, took  a year off and needed to get some ideas and was reading others work and it helped me to do better writing and put more of me in writing so , sorry its so long was just really was in the mood. 

Summary: Dean and you broke up many months ago You both decide it was best after everything that went on, but one night changed for the two of you.

Tagged list @deanwanddamons @holylulusworld @marvelfansworld @donnaintx @katymacsupernatural @myinconnelly1 @amanda-teaches​@nikki082489​ @flamencodiva

let me know what you think and reviews and thanks so much​

(Dean pov)

She was my everything. O client ask for a better girl. It was like that one movie she made me watch. Beauty and the beast. That movie was one of her favorites. I didn't understand why she told me it was our love story. Pssshhh me And love stories ha.

I didn't understand what she meant by it but later I knew what she was telling me. The beast was a mean person who was cursed and didn't have many friends or family. Until one day belle showed up and taught him how to live and learn to love again. I could see why she called me the beast. She was my belle. No matter where she was she always call me her beast and I would call her my belle.

Walking to to old bedroom we use to sleep in together. I turn on the light. So empty and quiet her stuff is gone and the room feels cold and lifeless. Sighing to myself I lay down on the bed. Placing my head on the pillow. The sweet smell still lingers on the pillows. That sweet scented lavender honey mixture she loved. Closing my eyes for a few seconds it feels like she still here.

Few hours later I slowly wale up. Sam wasn't home yet so I decided to get dinner ready. As I started getting out of bed I noticed something odd. The book shelf that was near my bed had some kinda of box.

I reached over to the side pulling it towards me. Taking into my hands. I notice it had belong to (y/n). It wasn't just any box it was one of those chinese boxes she tried to get me interested in(fyi my dad has these when I was kind I loved them so much )

Trying for about ten minutes I was about to give up when I slid one more piece and it popped right open. Placing the box down on the bed I remove the two items from the box .

As I remove the items from the box I find a picture and a letter. i Uncrumpled the picture. It was from when me and (y/n) met for the first time. She was so beautiful and she was so perfect, Moving my finger across the picture. My eyes start to well up. Sniffing a little bit, As I put the picture down I find a note. Opening the note.

August 12. 2013

Dear, Dean

I have had to write this note about 100 times, im not even sure how I am gonna give this to you or maybe send it, ummm. Dean there is so much I wanna tell you but I am not sure how the words can come out. Dean I know life hasnt been easy for you and sam. I know you try to play this tough guy but i know deep down your afraid but its okay. Its okay to someone in. I know i know i have my own issues that i have to slove but Hey we are a team.

He laughs a bit. Runnin his finger down the letter. Few droplets start falling on his face. He finishes reading.

'Dean i hope you know that no matter what happends in life or even in choas times you will always be my beast and i will always be your Belle.

I love you dean more then you know.

Love (y/n)

Dean rubs his hand over his face sighs to himself and sets the paper down. Looking one more time at the picture. Something clicks in his head. He grabs his keys and heads out to find you and tell you he needs you.

Driving for a few hours i decided to stop a motel. I called sam letting him know i was okay. He gave me information on (y/n) .i needed to see her .

Putting my key into the lock of my room. Opening up the room had a very errie look to it. Walls painted like a yellow vomit with a few chipped paint. Walking in i set my bag down on the bed.a part of me wanted to just say fuck it and go back home she wouldnt wanna talk to me.. what could i say to her. A millon thoughts running in my head. I decided to just relax and try to call her. Making my way to thw bathroom when my phone lit up.i grab my phone before i could answer it was (y/n) number lighting up. I quickly answered it.

'(Y/n) i said with a hushed whispear

'dean' she says with a quite sleepy voice.

'Umm hi" i can hear the nervous way of her talking.

'Where are you' she ask me.

'Im in georgia just needed sometime and a vacation"

''IS sam with you'

'Nope just me'

I could hear the nervouseness in her voice. My thoughs were running a millon times fast. I could hear the movement of.my heart muscles beatting so fast it was like it was gonna fault out. For a few minutes there was nothing but silence.

'Is everything alright are you okay? Do you need me to come-

"No sam okay everything fine" i say with a bit of a laugh.

"I just needed time to think and gwt my thoughts in order. I say scratching under my chin.

“Hmmm dean Winchester traveling without his brother  wow sounds very serious” you say with a small chuckle .

'I got the letter you wrote me on the first night we met' i say breathing slowly,

I hear a small laugh on the other end.

'Oh that letter yeah i meant to give it to you but i guess i never did. I rewrote that letter like over a thousand times. It was when i wanted to tell you instead of face 

Remember to let her into your heart

Then you can start to make it better 

I close my eyes and listen to her soothing voice

You were made to go out and get her

The minute you let her under your skin

Then you begin to make it better

Hey Jude, don't be afraid

You were made to go out and get her

The minute you let her under your skin

Then you begin to make it better

a tear drop falls from my eye, Trying my best to stay strong and not given in, I remember that song, I would sing it  to her when she was sad or when she needed a friend. My heart started to beat more and more it, I was scared it was gonna fall out of my body.

And anytime you feel the pain

Hey Jude, refrain

Don't carry the world upon your shoulders

For well you know that it's a fool

Who plays it cool

By making his world a little colder

Na-na-na, na, na

Na-na-na, na

“Dean” You say as tears fall down your face, Trying you best not to break down in front of him. you breath in then out,

“Yes baby” I say 

“I miss you” You say trying bot to breakdown and wantng him to come find you and just hold you until you feel whole again.

“what happened between us (y/n)” We use to talk about everything and anything and even when we couldn't  talk we just be there. Dean says breathing softly.

“i think we just stop fighting for each other and just didn't care anymore “ You sit down at the kitchen table,

“i  think everything changed once you went to hell and you became a different person it was like no matter how hard i fought myself to stay with you in the end i just couldn't do it anymore  Breathing and sighing a bit,

I swallow a huge lump in throat.tears falling down my face and brushing them away with my face.

“(y/n) Im so sorry i should have never put you through what i did. i wasn't even thinking of your safety or was thinking about you. Dean says rubbing his neck.

“Dean it wasn't your fault you had so much going on and you had to do what was best for you” 

“MY JOB WAS TO BE THERE FOR YOU KEEP YOU SAFE KEEP YOU OUTTA HARMS WAY .  Dean says crying.

“Dean” You say with a whispear.

“ Never In a million years did i think having this life would make things seem less crazy but the one thing in my life that was normal and happiness was you”

“after we broke up nothing felt right everything just seemed like i was living in a nightmare and i didn't wanna  wake up” Dean says pulling out a tiny small box with gold writing.

“No matter how many bars i went or drinks i had i cloud not stop  thinking about you” A part of me wanted to find you and bring you back here and try again.” but i knew I cloud not  be that guy i once way. 

“Hell changed me in a way i cant explain so many things so many emotion. so much horrible things i cant even put into words princess” Dean says shaking his head and tears falling down  his face.

you can feel the pain in deans voice, you can hear him crying and trying his best to stay so long. You knew he had been struggling and you knew he wasn't the same. A part of you blamed yourself for why you and dean fell apart, Hearing the man you love trying this best not to fall to pieces you cant help but feel your heart ripping into two.

"baby I need to know one thing and please tell me' you can hear the pain and sadness in his voice.

"what dean" you say with a hush of your voice.

"I need to see you. I need to feel you with me. All I wanna do is hold you in my arms just hear the you laugh .

"dean" you know you needed dean touch you needed to see him so bad but you didn't know if you let him back in would you go back to normal or would you try to fix it.

"dean" you sigh closing your eyes and breathing deeply.

"I ___ phone goes dead'(y/n(yn)

Dean throws the phone on the bed

"dean dean" she about to call him back when she looks up to see the one man she fears.

"hello(y/n) we meet again soon everything goes black.

"put her in the car come on boys we have a play date"

What do you guys think I may make a second one not sure. I know this isn't my best but I'll be working more on my writting so bye ;)

[tristancreed]

My Relationship With Tattoos

Art as we know it comes in any medium. It could be a portrait, a scuplture, a dish, a film or even a fighting style. The canvas and the medium may change, but one thing remains constant. It represents something. One's feelings, identity, code, maybe even culture. Tattoos are not far from this. They are pieces of art etched on a living canvas. Just like any piece of art can be viewed differently by the artist, the wearer as well as the mere spectator. The same perception could also be rooted from a personal interpretation/bias, cultural influence, and etc.

The Philippines, while still attempting to develop have yet to change its view on tattooing. To some, it is in fact seen at an artistic light whereas most view them with negative connotations. Some even view tattooed individuals as nothing but bottom dwellers, drug addicts, criminals, anything synonymous with the word undesirable. We even have a senator that says exactly these words about tattooed individuals, as do most conservative folks. Which is ironic considering that tattoos once played a significant role in the pre-colonial history. It often dsiplayed one's role, accomplishments, clan, and even social status. One of our most well-reputed national artists happen to be Whang-Od. To the uninitiated, she is currently the last living traditional tattoo artist around these parts. She is well sought out by visitors both domestic and foreign. In all sincerity, I'd like to see that senator try and publicly call her a drug addict to her face. Like I said, The Philippines has yet to be anywhere near ready to adapt to a modern society. And with it, more progressive views.

(Image is courtesy of La Blouse Roumaine ©)

I for one had a neutral stance on them. I should know, I have four of them and have gone through five sessions all in all. But before that, I remember wanting to get one as far as when I was in college and even intending to get two particular pieces. One being WWE Superstar Edge's Rise Above wrist piece and Toryn Green's sinner and saint ambigram. This what happens when you grow up being a fan of hard rock music, professional wrestling and mixed martial arts. Although what kept me from getting tattooed was the fear of being an ineligible blood donor, as well as the fear of being unemployable in the future.

That however changed after I graduated. Turns out, most corporate environments won't even bat an eye at an upper management figure sporting full sleeves and stretched earlobes. Others may not be as lenient. But it hardly impacted how they're received in the company.  I even had a chance to get a session done in 2013 but it kept falling apart.

It didn't cross my mind until 2017 and that's that I finally decided to go for it. I remembered seeing a simple but perfectly symmetrical geometric arrow design. The design was perfect. I also happen to love archery. So I literally had no other issue with it. I later ended up getting referred by my cousin to her artist who did her wrist piece months prior. The three weeks leading up to that session, I let my folks know in advance that I am getting a tattoo. I didn't wait for their approval or anything. I made it clear that I’m getting inked. Furthermore, I’d like to point out that I am a regular subscriber to Aaron Marino’s YouTube Channel (you may know him as Alpha M). I then took some crucial tips regarding tattoos. I had the certainty down as long as I follow one crucial tip. You have a whole sea of skin all over you. So out of all that, just avoid having one on your hands, neck, and face. If you can hide it with a dress shirt, it’s completely fine. 

On the day of my appointment, I literally just slapped on a sleeveless Avenged Sevenfold cut-off top, some shorts, with only my phone and wallet in hand before heading out for my session. It happened in a small studio just next to a small school in Pacita. Fortunately, I got there in time and I happened to be his only scheduled client for the day. What happened next was pivotal. I literally watched as the needle first touched my skin and slowly covered my birthmark. The session itself took over five hours. And what turned out to be the final product was an entirely different design. One which was inspired by the concept I sent, but also deviated from it. My parents despite having already been warned in advance were still initially shocked by it. They didn’t think I was actually going ahead with it. So this is the part where I retroactively followed what Jaiden Dittfach (of Jaiden Animations) said when she got her bird Ari. If you want really want something and your parents said no, get it anyway and trick them into loving it. Now that it’s on my skin, there really wasn’t much they could do about it. But at least they know its meaning and that it isn’t anything negative. I did have some issues with the product though and it took three more years before I finally got it fixed. For good this time. At least before the pandemic happened and it was done by a trusted friend. In her defense, she made the best of what she could work with then and even remarked how deep the first needle went. Fortunately, she managed to even out some places that needed to be polished.

The intended design (Image is courtesy of The Style Up ©)

The (first) finished product.

Finally fixed. 

In between all of this, I also managed to get three more pieces. It was November 12, 2018, a news shocked Marvel fans the world over. Stan Lee tragically passed away just six weeks shy of what would have been his 96th birthday. It was such a devastating loss of a figure who helped mold the childhoods of many. I wrote about it and posted it here shortly after. During those events, I remembered having come across the Wakandan alphabet before it hit me. But first, I had to consult a few friends in order to make sure that I wouldn’t be committing any act of cultural appropriation. After finally clearing that up, I sent my own design to a friend of mine (Who went on to do all of my ink from that point on) and booked the session. Thanksgiving day later came and I realized that we had no work that day. So I later called her up to see if she was free. Fortunately, she was and I finally had it etched on my right forearm. It was the Latin word “Excelsior” that literally translates to ever upward. It was also Stan’s catchphrase. The feeling of getting that piece was a lot more different than the previous one. This came with a wave of emotion. Because the significance could even be traced from my childhood and I grew up around this fandom and it meant more to me than just entertainment. It helped shape part of my identity. It’s literally the one piece I wish I could have flashed on a camera next to Stan himself. One thing’s for sure both Stan Lee and Chadwick Boseman would have thought it was a wise choice for a piece of ink on one’s skin. 

“Excelsior”

- Stan Lee

Upon having gone through a tattoo session, you can only describe the feel of a needle as a sting. But you wouldn’t exactly call it pain. That isn’t an opinion, that is a fact. Another thing one must know upon getting a tattoo is that you will later want additional pieces. Your skin will want the feel of that needle again. And while my parents said that would be my last piece, I simply couldn’t promise that. This time around, I’ve been looking to get a Cthulhu tattoo since December 2018. Of course, being busy as always, I couldn’t find a time to arrange it. I would only do so once I’m sure I’m completely free for that day. I live two lives. Both as a corporate guy and a public figure. Spare time and sleep are luxuries I can’t always afford. And after all the planning, I finally booked it. I literally went to my friend’s place right away to have it done. The session was of reasonable length and it felt different. Both of my previous tattoos were done on my right forearm. Both of which had uplifting personal meanings. A darker piece like that would be completely out of place in that part of my body. So I opted for my left bicep. It was surreal. I’m a man invested into multiple fandoms and H.P. Lovecraft’s universe is definitely in that list. There’s just something about the occult and the unknown horrors of the cosmos that piqued my interest since my formative years. This was me finally marking that on my skin. If there’s one of Lovecraft’s most iconic creations that deserved that spot, it was the famed Dreamer of R’lyeh himself. If the excelsior tattoo gave a rush of innocence that I hadn’t felt in ages, this was different. It had that enigmatic aura around it which made it all the more perfect. The piece came together so well and it was on an arm that a needle had yet to kiss. After the session, you could say I probably found out how the Sam Raimi Peter Parker felt when he first put on the black symbiote suit. Minus the dance when he exited that tailor shop. I also ended up getting a freehand bonus on my right wrist again. Just something Roxy threw in. It was the Latin phrase “Sic Parvis Magna.” which literally translates to “Thus great things come from small things.” or better yet, greatness from small beginnings. Which is another phrase I hold dear considering my humble origins.

“Ph'nglui mglw'nafh Cthulhu R'lyeh wgah'nagl fhtagn”

“In his house at R’lyeh, dead Cthulhu waits dreaming.”

“Thus great things come from small things.”

That certainly wouldn’t be the end of it. Again, while my folks insisted that I got my last pieces, I still can’t promise that. One thing’s for sure, I wouldn’t get any piece that either stands for something that abridges the rights of another human being, nor would any of my upcoming pieces ever wrongly appropriate a culture. Ultimately, I would always advise everyone to at least take Aaron Marino’s advise to heart. Don’t get one that you wouldn’t want to show your folks. You also have a whole sea of skin around you, so avoid having one on your hands, neck and face. I’m definitely not done stepping next to a needle. I still have plans on some pieces. But I always see to their significance. It’s always wise to do exactly that. Getting a tattoo isn’t a joke. It’s a commitment. One that can even outlive a marriage. So it pays to take every choice into consideration. Some of us choose to wear our hearts on our sleeve and some do so literally.

[cliquestitsandicks]

Tracking Kat

Episode 1: Kat is mourning the end of her relationship with Adena. It has been 5 weeks since the breakup in Paris. She's still looking at old pictures of them and posted one. She still hasn't sent Adena's equipment to her, even though Adena has been texting her asking for it. By the end of the episode, she's admitted to (in order) Alex, Patrick, and Jane & Sutton that she is not okay. She is still sad about the end of her relationship. Alex tells her "you're so hard on yourself. You got your heart broken. There's no expiration date on heartbreak. You move on when you're ready to move on and when you *are* ready, you will find someone amazing. Someone who will never leave." Then Patrick is an entitled, invasive dick. She told her girls she wasn't ready for it to be real yet and that's why she hadn't told them... but she broke down in front of them. She'd finally accepted it was over. End of the episode, she makes an instagram post exposing her vulnerability to the world and packs up Adena's things for good.

Episode 2: Kat injects Jane for fertility treatment. She is very familiar with Jane's reproductive system at this point - best friends. She learns the Wild Susan, a club Adena took her to that became a safe space she frequents and which happens to be 1 of only TWO lesbian bars in the city, is closing. She learns the only reason it's happening is because developers want to gentrify the neighborhood. We learn Kat has a lawyer (not sure how that may come up later) that she met through the #BeReal campaign. Anyway, Kat throws a queer prom as a fundraiser to help save the Wild Susan. It ultimately fails because $42,000 in one night from poor people is a bit much. But it was a valiant effort and, as Kat learns, the gentrifiers were well aware of its impossibility. This episode is leading up to her political career. "I've been so into my feelings lately, it feels really good to challenge my energy into something that really matters". I am so proud of Kat. In Season 1, I would have worried she was avoiding her feelings, but the writers made a big deal of showing she's done the exact opposite of that in the prior episode.

Episode 3: Kat has been researching councilman Reynolds and he's a total piece of shit - helping gentrifiers, cutting funding to parks, and voting against paid maternity leave. She's fired up. Our girl is P A S S I O N A T E & informed! We meet the councilwoman for whom she plans to volunteer and her campaign manager, Tia. Tia's a tiny, bubbly boss with natural hair and a bright smile and we see Kat brighten up. We later learn she and Kat have more in common, both being NYU grads (actually overlapping while there) and both brilliant. Tia, however, is not from a wealthy and connected background. In their initial meeting, Kat tells Tia "I'm just looking for something to channel my rage and depression". Kat enlists her besties to help get the councilwoman to unseat problematic Reynolds. Sutton clearly sees something between Kat and Tia because she does a friend's background check (checking the social media) and tells Kat she looks very single to which Kat responds "it really doesn't matter because I'm still getting over Adena" and Jane seems skeptical of Kat's protestations with her silent smirk. We learn Kat has really soft lips. Kat is the voice of reason for Alex, being the first one to acknowledge the hypersexual "dangerous" Black man depiction that will likely be projected onto him if he admits he is the man in his friend's story. Then we see her naturally command the crowd at the rally. Again, I am so proud of Kat. She isn't holding back when she knows she should speak up. She's taking control of her narrative. She's fighting for what's right in a constructive manner. And now Tia, who has way more experience with this than Kat, is recommending she run for office.

Episode 4: We start the episode with Kat describing what would be her district and job description to her best friends. She's looking excited about the potential to do something that matters and really help people. In her conversation with the Toby (?. don't know, don't care), we get to see more of Tia being supportive of Kat and Kat being confronted with whether she's motivated to actually run or just wants someone to beat Reynolds. We learn Kat had an abortion in 2013 when she was 20 AS IS HER GOTDAMN RIGHT BECAUSE IT'S HER BODY, but it's something she's felt some sort of shame/concern over seeing as nobody close to her knew about it. Then, and this is so great, after telling her friends she has the conversation with Tia. Tia shares that she's had one as well and completely understands not wanting it to be public knowledge, but in sharing her experience educates Kat on yet another way vulnerable people are having their rights stripped, this time through manipulation and "crisis centers" that shouldn't exist. Tia remains supportive and doesn't pressure Kat at all with her decision. "I am by your side if they come for you, but you gotta do what's right for you". When we get that great speech from Jacqueline we see Kat being moved my the statement that you'll never know what you're capable of if you don't take a leap faith to face challenges that frighten you, then you'll never know what you're capable of. [i'd like to pause right now to say Jacqueline is fucking wonderful and i love her like my white auntie. also Sutton needed to hear that again just as much as Kat and i really appreciate this entire moment.] When Kat leaves Jacqueline's celebration, she passes by one of those "crisis centers" Tia told her about and decides to use her voice to help others. "I like to think of myself as a pretty strong, empowered, forward-thinking, open-minded woman. But, up until now, I haven't been able to talk about my abortion. If me putting myself out there helps even one woman to feel less alone, less ashamed, and less guilty then it's worth it." And just like us, dear Tia is blown away. She actually exhales a breath she didn't know she was holding and biiiiiiiitch (!!!! excitedly). and then they're dancing! This is the episode, upon rewatch, when i recognize how often Tia touches Kat unnecessarily.

Episode 5: Kat's entire recap includes Tia, ending with Sutton saying "she seems to be very single". Her very first scene, Tia is complimenting her walking out of some campaigning event we later learn was a Town Hall. Can we just talk about Kat's blazer for a second? First of all, i want it. Second, how did they find something so perfectly her? It's colorful but still semi-professional, fun, but still about her business. Heart-eye inducing. ok. So the next time we see Kat, she and Tia (whose last name they finally mention as Clayton) are reviewing campaign platform and doing debate prep at Kat's apartment. Tia's complimenting Kat almost continuously at this point. Clearly she's impressed, borderline gushing. and Kat tries to brush it off. Tia's not letting her. And there's this moment when Tia forces herself to break eye contact with her (around 5:40 of the episode). The show tells us Kat still hasn't dated since Adena, but Sutton brings up the "stupid smile" she gets whenever Tia's mentioned. She's making better decisions than Patrick and her being compared to Patrick is lowkey happening a lot. I'm starting to wonder if they're setting up Kat taking over digital if she doesn't win the campaign. Ok, the song choice as they pan to Kat and Tia... "I never normally check my phone 10 times in a minute. I'm not the girl to be kept on hold 10 miles from the finish." Again, Tia is very touchy with Kat, never anything inappropriate of course, but the hand is always on the back or the arm. and their interaction is just.. lovely. I squeal. it's so cute. they're so comfortable. Kat invites Tia to the dinner BEFORE (i got the timing on that mixed up before) Tia says she's "a boring straight girl" [the test determined that was a LIE... nah, my good sis Tia is dealing with some internalized homophobia which is no joking matter, but we don't learn that until the next episode]. Apparently, Kat can cook now? So she just liked Adena's food better i guess? idk... anyway. I get why some of the things Tia said can be taken as flirting, but i still believe that you accept what someone says is their sexuality until they say otherwise. yes, that's even when they're saying things like "when i see what i want, i go for it" and "Annndd she can cook. it's hot" and looking at you like that. Kat telling Jane to apologize because he's her boss and she got suuuper disrespectful and would absolutely deserve getting fired makes me proud. She's the mature friend now. She's the one with a level head on her shoulders. Kat finally makes her feelings known to Tia, but this is after Tia has already stated she's straight. Tia reiterates that this is a professional relationship and apologizes for Kat getting the wrong idea. I'm reminded of when Alex Danvers told Maggie Sawyer she was into her and she was rejected... but in that example i was floored and heartbroken for Alex because ugh, i just didn't see that coming. With this, however, it felt like Tia was clear in her words even if it shocked the hell out of me what the words were. So i didn't feel heartbroken for Kat. I thought... tbh... she brought it on herself for refusing to respect Tia's "no", however soft it was. But the writers did let us know it wasn't over with the music selection... Kat looking at "You and Tia make a great team :)" as "I'll go to war for you" plays.

Episode 6: All the emails have been released and Kat has no worries at all about that because she's a professional. And we get to see her be a boss addressing the entire group. Patrick isn't there this episode (YAY for our sanity!) and i think Kat being a boss so often when Patrick isn't around is intentional. When we see Tia, she says last night is forgotten but she thinks it's a bad idea to remain Kat's campaign manager... which is clearly a hard rejection. One can argue that it's too harsh for someone merely admitting they were into you. But it's just as easy to argue that it's appropriate after telling someone, very clearly, that you are not into them romantically and them ignoring that and saying that you were flirting with them on this date they never called a date before you were already there?? so i'm not mad at it. At the end of the episode, we find out that Tia was rejecting herself, not Kat. Turns out, Ms. Tia Clayton has known she's attracted to women since she was in high school, but she "didn't want to want it". Tia is so TINY AND ANXIOUS ABOUT HER SEXUALITY AND MANY OF US HAVE BEEN THERE. But... and i say this in jest... for someone who is really trying not to be out in the open with her gay, she sure was comfortable kissing Kat all outdoors for anyone to see. My good sis is smitten. I'm excited for the story. Again with the music during their scenes though... "I cannot fallll in love with youuuuu. I cannot feeeeel this way so soon, so soon." Also, my girlfriend and I have watched the gifset of the kiss over the phone and swooned (we live in different states for now). This episode, we also got the flashbacks (i missed Lauren so much). Kat's got red streaks in her hair, is a friend to strangers, has regrettable sex with men who taste like pickles, and is cute as a button. She also called Jacqueline "Mama Jackie" and that's it; that's her name now.

[bookloversreviewer]

VAUGHN (Love Under the Lights #2) by Ella Fox & Rochelle Paige

Release Date: September 16th

AVAILABLE NOW!!

FREE in Kindle Unlimited!

Amazon US: https://amzn.to/2ZVewjt

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Blurb:

Gorgeous, charming, and funny, Vaughn Corbett rose far above his less than optimal beginning to become a household name. Known for being a dynamic and unflappable interviewer, no one was more surprised than he when he got tongue-tied over a gorgeous blonde in the middle of a live interview.

Allie Henderson was so focused on her career that she rarely thought about men or dating. That all changed when she came across a silver-tongued devil on the red carpet. The moment his deep blue eyes met hers, something inside her shifted.

Allie was there to support her best friend. Vaughn was just doing his job. Neither of them expected the instant, magnetic attraction that couldn’t be denied.

Would a surprise that neither of them planned on end things before they really began?

Excerpt:

Whether it had been her intention or not, Allie had put me further under her spell in the darkened car on the way home. As soon as we'd pulled out of the parking lot, she'd opened the bag of red velvet popcorn and started to eat it. Her sounds of pleasure were enough to drive me wild, but when she started feeding me the popcorn one piece at a time, I had to force myself not to pull over and fuck her on the side of the road. The little minx knew exactly what she was doing, too.

Each time she fed me a piece, she'd trace my lower lip with her thumb, run her fingers down my neck, or tickle my jawline with her fingers. Those little touches were the equivalent of adding an accelerant to something that was already ablaze. All I could think about was her—touching, tasting, fucking, and claiming her in every way I could.

By the time we got home, my cock was so goddamn hard; I could hardly think.

As soon as the car was securely inside the garage, I threw it into park, pressed the button for the garage door to go down, threw off my seat belt, unclicked Allie's, and hauled her into my arms. I kissed her like the desperate man I was, pouring everything I was feeling into it so that she'd know just how much I needed her. Allie moaned as she shifted in her seat so she could wrap her arms around my shoulders, holding on as I plundered her mouth, the flavor from the red velvet popcorn making her taste sweeter than ever. Only when she set her hand on my cock through my jeans did I tear my mouth away. Breath coming in gusts, I cupped her faced in my hands.

"You're playing with fire," I rasped.

She bit her lower lip as she rubbed at me through my jeans. "I'm ready to feel the burn."

I kissed her once more, quick and hard before I forced myself to stop. Getting out of the car, I raced around to the passenger side and opened her door. As soon as she was out, I pulled her into my arms and kissed her again. We kissed our way from the garage into the mudroom. The door hadn't closed behind us before I lifted her off the ground.

Taking my lead, she wrapped her legs around my waist and buried her face in my neck. The feel of her lips and her soft breath against my skin made me crazy. I held her waist to keep her steady as I raced through the house and up the stairs to my bedroom.

When I crested the top of the stairs, she lifted her head and kissed me again. I was so wrapped up in her, so desperate to maintain our connection, that I made it to my bedroom by memory alone. I only realized that we'd arrived when we bumped into one of the double doors. I took my right hand from her waist and used it to fumble blindly for the door handle. Eventually, I got lucky and found it.

I didn't stop kissing her as we stumbled through the doors. I kept right on going as I made a beeline for my bed. Only when we got there did I pull away. We were both breathing like we'd run a marathon as I set her down on the edge of the bed.

I was hoping to get myself under control so that I'd show some finesse, but the chance of that happening went out the window when she gripped the hem of her sweater and pulled it over her head. The sight of the peach-colored lace bra that covered her tits but not enough that I couldn't see her puckered nipples was like waving a red flag in front of a bull.

A tortured sound emanated from my throat as I stepped between her legs, set my hands on her shoulders, and gently pushed her back. Her green eyes were wild as I got closer, and I missed being able to see them as I leaned in and kissed the spot where her shoulder met her neck.

I loved the sounds she made as I kissed, licked, and nibbled on her neck. Lifting my head, I captured her lips with mine again. She threaded her fingers into my hair as she met my passion with her own. The desperation for her was so sharp that I had to force myself not to strip her bare, unzip my jeans, pull my cock out and fuck her until neither of us had an ounce of energy left. I'd never felt anything like it in my life.

I silently scolded myself to find some fucking control. Being jackhammered in the mattress by a desperate idiot wasn't even hot in porn.

About Ella Fox:

USA Today Bestselling Author Ella Fox has learned a bunch of stuff along the way but the most important of all those things is that anything is possible when you try. In 2012 she took a big leap of faith and published her first book, Broken Hart. Since then she’s written fifteen more full-length books and several novellas– and every one is a reminder that you can live your dream as long as you work for it.

Ella’s favorite things are music, movies, traveling, The Foo Fighters and, of course, reading. This isn’t a surprise considering the fact that her mom is USA Today Bestselling Author Suzanne Halliday.

Connect w/ Ella

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About Rochelle Paige:

I absolutely adore reading—always have and always will. When I was growing up, my friends used to tease me when I would trail after them, trying to read and walk at the same time. If I have downtime, odds are you will find me reading or writing.

I am the mother of two wonderful sons who have inspired me to chase my dream of being an author. I want them to learn from me that you can live your dream as long as you are willing to work for it.

When I told my mom that my new year's resolution was to self-publish a book in 2013, she pretty much told me, "About time!" 

Connect w/ Rochelle:

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[littlelegsltd]

The story of my battle with Post Natal Depression that I hid behind a smile 💕

Hi all,

As many of you know, I suffered with Post Natal Depression but I have never shared the raw detail of it with you. Since I always encourage you all to be open and honest about how you are feeling, I felt it was only fair to practise what I preach and shed more light on what I went through.  I hope it helps some of you realise that you are not alone.

 It was my experience that drove me to set up Little Legs – to help new parents (hopefully) never feel like I did. Now I am not sharing this for sympathy or anything other than to show you that I have a great understanding of PND and the impact it can have on you as a parent, a partner, a friend… just know that I am here to hold your hand and help you.

 Here’s my story.

 The photo shows the four of us looking happy – in fact, it could be a very typical ‘husband, wife and their 2.4 kids’ family photo. But this photo was taken at what was possibly the worst time of my life. This is why I never take photos and images posted on social media at face value. This is also the reason I like meeting other mums face-to-face – I have great intuition as many of you know from the messages I have dropped you after a class!

 So, I found out I was pregnant with my second child, Daniel, in January 2013. The pregnancy was planned, but it happened quicker than I had anticipated. In all honesty, I didn't react very well at all. This was the start of my prenatal depression. I instantly thought I had made a massive mistake – what if Aimee hated me? What if I had ruined her life? As the weeks passed, these nagging doubts continued to haunt me. We had our first scan and, as I sat there, I just spent the time worrying that I could be having twins and then Aimee would really hate me, and I couldn't possibly have a girl as I couldn't love another girl as much. These thoughts overwhelmed me; they caused frequent panic attacks, but I hid them from everyone. Why was I being so ungrateful? I literally had everything, yet I felt awful. At the sexing scan, Daniel crossed his legs and hid his bits – I was devastated. I needed to know it wasn't a girl. The next day, I called my husband and asked if we could have a private scan. He knew it was coming so he agreed and we booked it. We found out we were having a boy and I felt relieved.

 I hated being pregnant with Daniel; I was uncomfortable, I binged on food and pretended to the world I was happy. After a relatively straightforward, uncomplicated labour he arrived. He was bruised as he came out so quickly, and my bits had ‘given him a love bite’ apparently!!

That night on the ward I stared at him for hours; he was awesome – a weird, purple-looking thing with a nose bigger than his face and lots of hair, but he was my boy! I couldn't wait to introduce him to Aimee. 

 The next day I was discharged and something in me switched, I don't know what it was, but I barely remember much of anything from then until 3 months later when we were at Butlins. Everyone had gone off, and I was alone with Daniel. I looked at him and said out loud, “Wow…you’re my little boy." 

 Don't get me wrong, I was a good mum to him, but I was in a permanent daze. I spent a lot of time crying, and Aimee (aged 2) learned very quickly to just hold me and wipe my tears. I will never be able to forgive myself for this. Andy (hubby) was working in Birmingham and had to take a lot of time off work as I just couldn't cope. We got through those days and weeks, yet neither of us realised just how bad it was. 

Leading up to Christmas that year, Aimee finally reacted to having a little brother and refused to make eye contact with me. I knew it was ‘normal’, but I felt even more broken. She had become my comfort blanket, and now she wasn’t there for me.

 Christmas Day arrived and I was excited as always. Aimee opened her Baby Annabell doll and it didn’t cry like I expected it to, and the anxiety crept in – I had failed, I had ruined Christmas. 

 We had planned to go to our local for Christmas lunch. We arrived and sat down at our table. I felt like I was invisible, in a bubble. We were surrounded by people cheering and enjoying themselves, and I just wanted to hide. Aimee asked for ketchup with her meal, so I put some on her plate, but she pushed it away – she wanted Daddy to do it. Daniel cried for milk, so Andy helpfully gave him his bottle. I looked at my family and couldn’t have felt more alone; they didn’t need or want me. 

I could feel a panic attack coming so I said I needed the toilet. I hid in the cubicle to breathe and cry. 

When we got back after lunch, the rest of the day was a blur. 

When teatime arrived, Aimee, Andy and Daniel were all in the lounge. I looked at them all, realising I needed to go so I said I was going out for some air.

I grabbed my phone and keys and got into my car. Up to this point, I had had several thoughts of driving my car head on into a tree to make all the pain go. I decided it was the right time to ‘go’. 

I set off, heading to the place with the tree that would end all my pain. As I drove, I passed a local park and something made me go into the car park. I parked up and grabbed my phone. I called my work friend – she picked up and I said, “I don’t belong to my family.” As it was Christmas Day, I was surprised she had answered. She told me to stay where I was and she would call me back in twenty minutes. I watched the clock and waited. As promised, she called me back and I repeated, “I don’t belong to my family”. I don’t remember the rest of the conversation other than agreeing to go home and tell Andy I needed help. I did as I was told. 

When I got home, I went into the lounge – no one had moved! I told Andy I needed help and he hugged me. 

We arranged to have marriage counselling actually! At the first session, the counsellor said, “You two are going to be fine, but you, Kirstie, you are really poorly. I want to help you.”

 We completed 6 weeks of counselling together; we had been through so much so it was great for us. I then saw a separate counsellor and returned to her 3 months later. I spent 2 years with her in the end! 

I also arranged to see my GP who prescribed medication which I still take; I’ve come to terms with the fact that I will be on it for life and, honestly, I’m ok with that! 

It took a long time for Daniel and I to connect, sadly. He was all about Daddy, it became a running joke that he wouldn’t come to me! If he fell over and I picked him up, he would cry. While learning to walk, he would happily walk away from me and never ever come to me.  I laughed and encouraged the joke – but it was my way of coping as it hurt so much. To be honest, I don’t think I gave him much emotionally as I was so empty. 

When Daniel turned 14 months, something switched for both of us. This was the start of our amazing relationship! He is now a fully-fledged Mummy’s boy – we are as thick as thieves, we are so alike, we are both the naughty ones, and we just ‘get’ each other. Fortunately, what happened didn’t taint us. 

I still struggle with ‘Mummy guilt’, but don’t we all? I make mistakes and beat myself up, but don’t we all? I’m not perfect, but in the eyes of my children, I’m the perfect Mummy, and that is what counts.

I can now look back on my battle with PND in a positive light as it made me who I am; I wouldn’t have my Little Legs business without it, and my motivation and passion to help others is stronger than it’s ever been. I will continue to fight for greater awareness around PND and all mental health issues. 

I hope, in sharing this story, that those of you who have been through similar experiences will realise that you are not alone. I am here for you and if you feel anything like I did, or know someone dealing with similar issues, please get in touch so I can help you 💕

[sartle-blog]

Important conversations at the de Young

You can be part of it right now with the opening of the groundbreaking exhibition, Revelations: Art from the African American South on view until April 1, 2018.

Once again, the de Young is soaring to new and exciting heights in both their exhibitions and comprehensive collection of American Art (we get it already— you’re great). We’re not really complaining though, because what they’ve cooked up this time is a very necessary breath of fresh air.

This exhibition celebrates the de Young’s major acquisition of 62 works from contemporary African American artists from the Southern United States. The pieces came into the museum’s possession just four months ago, via The Souls Grown Deep Foundation in Atlanta, and the exhibition opens early this month. It only took them FOUR months to put together a comprehensive, thoughtful exhibition that spans seven galleries. In other words, they needed to get a move on, and coincidentally, so do you if you want to see this landmark exhibition.

Serious moment alert!

These galleries highlight a visual language that was established by a group that was being oppressed and stripped of basic human rights, and so they chose creation as a way to cope with the injustices they were facing everyday. Today, these works celebrate the resiliency of the human spirit and of people that, despite adversity, have held tight to their values and culture; they give a voice back to those who historically weren't given the privilege of speaking up. There may be graphic or disturbing imagery for some folks so fair warning. ~Okay, serious moment over~

Revelations has a little bit of everything: sculpture, textiles, assemblage (hoity toity term for putting a bunch of 3-D objects on a canvas), you name it. However, since it debuts some lesser known artists, it may be hard to wrangle your squad into going with you to see it, especially when you’re competing with Munch at the SFMOMA and Dorothea Lange across the bay at the Oakland Museum, but fight the museum fatigue(!) because we can say with confidence that this show is not to be missed (for starters, it’s the first of its kind in the area— a de Young™ original). Although there may be some coercing required to make the journey over to the park, you mustn't fear, as I’m here to come to your rescue by putting faces to names and giving you the top reasons that you should get in the car—or bike, walk, cable car, whatever works—and GO, GO, GO to the de Young immediately.

1. There’s an artist you may not have heard of whose work is beyond mesmerizing.

Thornton Dial, Sr. is often compared to Jackson Pollock for his erratic, splish splash painting style and “leave it all on the canvas” attitude. It’s not necessarily fair, however, to say that Pollock influenced Dial’s contemporary pieces, as the latter has always made a point of staying blissfully unaware of the history of art. When he first started out, he felt that he was just making "things."

10 points to whoever can tell me what this is made out of.

*drum roll* wood, wire, chair caning and cloth. Dial really takes the “where’s waldo” approach and makes you dig deep to figure out his pieces. The coolest part about them? They are SO fun to look at. It’s hard to tell unless you see them in person, but these sculpture-painting hybrids seem ready to jump off of the wall and I had the absolute hardest time reigning in my impulse to touch them. PSA: Don't touch the art, unfortunately.

New Light (2004) was made in reference to the sad fact that African American communities in the South were some of the last ones to receive basic utilities like electricity (Dial didn't see it until he was ten years old). The foundational structure of a picket fence symbolizes segregation and life in rural Alabama. The electrical wire that he’s attached in an almost bird’s nest clump, again, represents this glaring inequality as well as the relief that they felt when electricity was installed, finally making it possible for young children to do their homework in the light.

2. You may or may not see some real skeletons

No actual cows were harmed in the making.

In case you didn't catch our Instagram story from the press preview, I thought I should let you know about this striking piece that also made me slightly squeamish. This is the work of Thornton Dial again but in 360 degrees. Tada! He didn't only do sculptural-painting-sculptures, but also real sculpture-sculptures...Uhh anyway, this piece is made from real cow bones that he painted white before mounting them together into this composite sculpture, Lost Cows (2000-2001). It also includes such objects as golf balls, bags, mirrors, and enamel. 

Dial drew this broad theme of life and death from his childhood working on a farm. There's a human skeletal form in the back that struggles to control his herd of white cows, representing how the white man would have been lost without African Americans to be the laborers, cooks etc.

Hey lil' buddies, photo via de Young 

3. You’ve never seen quilts as colorful as these

Fiber arts meets smooth jazz riffs, image via Souls Grown Deep 

The exhibition also highlights the strong tradition of quilt making that developed around 1859 in Gee's Bend, a small rural town in Alabama, and incorporated pieces of everyday life.

This quilt, Bars and String-Pieced Columns (1950s), was made by Jessie T. Pettway, aka Bootnie, who learned quilt making at a young age from her aunt. Fabric was scarce, so they used whatever they could scrounge up—old khaki t-shirts and torn-up overalls—which often ended up being clothes that they wore while working in the fields. She almost never used patterns. Instead, she improvised her vibrant compositions, asserting that, "[she] couldn't buy pretty materials, so [she] couldn't make pretty patterns." Fun fact: this quilt was featured on a 2006 postage stamp commemorating the Gee's bend quilters. 

4. Or quilts used to make prints

This is not a quilt. (lol @ Duchamp jokes), photo via Artsy

It is, in fact, just an impression of a quilt. More specifically, this is a print that was made by sewing a miniature quilt, pressing the surface down into a soft ground, and then coloring it. This took an already very familiar medium and elevated it to an entirely new level of abstract, colorful goodness. This process was actually initiated by Pam Paulson, a Berkeley artist who brought a few of these master quilt makers to her studio to introduce them to printmaking in 2005.

Lonnie Holley made the print featured above, Coming out of the Redwoods, after a 2013 trip to the redwoods in Humboldt, CA (not too far from the Sartle office in SF!). Holley took this process a step further by incorporating found objects and scraps that he found inside and outside of the printmaking studio.

5. There’s an El Anatsui

Enough said— those sultry, undulating golden hills are enough to get me off of the couch any day, any time. Go see this beaut, Hover II (2004), in person today!

If this wasn't convincing, you can check out the digital preview on the de Young's website. I can't stress enough how poignant this exhibition is, as it debuts an entire group of American artists that have been otherwise ignored by the strong arm of art history. We're (re) writing history here, folks!

Let us know what stands out to you by tagging us in your photos from the exhibition on Twitter with @sartle or Instagram with @sartle.arthistory. We can't wait to hear what you think!

Photos and text by Rose  

By: Rose Cannon