#but it turned out cute and I'll have it for the next 3-6 years so 🤷‍♀️

[jupiter-balls]

Guess who finally finished sewing this dress!! And I'm actually happy with it in the end

You can't really see the lace collar because of my hair but it's cute!

I also would like to be acknowledged that my tights have sunshine carebear on them😌

[atxxzist]

spring in our hearts | c.s

summary: the spring where you finally fall in love and experience everything that comes with it; the good and the bad

pairing: choi san x f!reader

genre: angst, slice of life, slowburn, romance, fluff?

word count: 21.4k

pink.

everything outside is turning pink. the petals fallen from the cherry blossom trees sweeping the streets as the wind carries it away with the cold chill, making the arrival of spring feel so much more real.

pink has always reminded you of love though your best friend tells you to not think about it often. he believes you're horrible at it and has a shallow view on it.

you wouldn't say you're horrible if you don't exactly have the experience for it, your only romantic relationship ever was freshman year of college with a boy from english who found you cute but broke it off after only 3 months because he thought you weren't interested.

yeosang still brings it up occasionally because only texting a boy when they texted you and telling them you could only hang out once a week isn't the way to show someone you do like them.

you thought it was quite the statement coming from yeosang because he wasn't much of a prize either before his current relationship that finally managed to last longer than 6 months.

but he think he has finally found the one. he's sure of it. and maybe he's right about you being horrible to some extent because you wouldn't understand or know the feeling of when someone is just right.

you still don't get how your uncle was willing to move halfway across the country for the 'love of his life', leaving everything he knew behind in hope of making it work, or how your mother married your father against her parents wishes although you know him to be a great man.

even the compromises both yeosang and grace have to make can be hard to wrap your head around, but yeosang always says every time that once you meet that person, you will understand.

"this seat taken?"

your thoughts are broken and your neck snaps away from the window and its petal shower to the voice beside that takes your breath away momentarily because though he's just standing there in his morning hair, grey hoodie, and sweatpants, he looks absolutely out of place in this small cafe.

you shake your head, a knot forming in your throat the longer you stare at this stranger.

"i'll take it, if that's okay with you."

"go ahead," you assure, no idea why you're so captivated by this stranger you've known for less than a minute, eyes unable to leave as he removes his backpack to place in the seat next to him and finally takes the seat across from you.

you clear your throat, scanning the surrounding and just noticing how packed it has gotten within the few minutes you were out before looking back down to the half finished sketch on the table.

"you go there?"

the question pulls your head back up, meeting eyes once again with this stranger who has now comfortably seated himself, confused as to what he's talking about until he points with his chin to the sweater you're wearing that has your school logo plastered all over it.

you let another second of silence slip through before answering in your most friendliest tone because you don't usually get people trying to start conversations often, or at all.

"oh, yes," you say. "it was a shirt my friend didn't want."

you regret the words as soon as they leave, feeling like you wanna smack ur head onto the table because you don't know why you needed him to know that.

you really are not big on school spirits or whatever, but yeosang had offered it to you after he bought a size too small.

and this stranger is probably able to sense your nervousness just now that he attempts to giggle it off, dimples emerging from his cheeks all of a sudden that you can't keep your eyes off of.

you've seen a fair share of good looking guys in your lifetime, but this dude might just be at the very top and you're thinking the only obvious reason he'd even wanna sit with you is because all the other seats were taken.

"well that's nice of them," he says with a warm smile. "it's a well designed shirt."

you nod slowly at that.

"i guess so."

"i just transferred the beginning of this year so i just thought it was cool to run into someone alike."

"oh?" your pitch piques with a unique kind of interest. "y-you also go there?"

"yes. junior, going onto senior next semester. you?"

"same..." you answer, fighting the tiniest smile that wants to break out because what were the chances the two of you are the exact same age, and it's not like you plan on seeing him after this, but to hear how big the possibilites are is a little crazy.

he chuckles, one hand running over his disheveled hair as you're sure the same thing is also going through his mind.

"and then what?" yeosang asks, after you finish the retelling of your encounter with the incredibly cute and kind boy from the cafe.

"what?" you repeat, one eyebrow raised.

"what happened after?" he states, as if asking the obvious while spinning around in the computer chair that belongs to his girlfriend.

"i had to go to class," you answer, unfazed and oblivious much to yeosang's frustration which is why he wanna facepalm right then and there.

"you didn't even ask for his number?"

you shake your head. "no."

"i bet you don't even know his name," he says only sarcastically but he would be right.

"i don't."

you watch in bafflement as yeosang continues to sigh and complain before grace comes bursting through the door with the two boxes of pizza.

"you won't believe what your girl just told me," yeosang opens his big mouth and tells on you the second he can, prompting grace to hum in curioisity because she's just as equally nosy.

"what happened?" she says, placing the boxes on the stand next to the door.

"little miss over here had a cute boy actually talk to her and didn't even ask for his number nor his name," yeosang spews, accusation in his tone like you just committed a crime. "and worst of all, she lost the pen i got her for christmas."

grace gasps in response and plops down next to you as her weight makes the bed sink.

you roll your eyes, dismissing the last comment but going on to defend your name, "okay. you're being dramatic. it's not like i want him to be my boyfriend. i just happened to meet someone pleasant and i'm okay with the idea that nothing more will come from it."

your best friend shakes his head in disapproval and mutters, "you anti-romantic."

"and where did you meet this boy again?" grace asks.

"the cafe i usually go to."

"maybe you'll run into him again." she shrugs.

"maybe," you utter lowly. "but it's ok. like i said, i just thought it was a nice encounter and had to tell yeosang about it but if i knew he was gonna make a big ass deal, i would've just told you."

"excuse you," yeosang chimes in, "i was just looking out for you. you need to get yourself a boyfriend or at least a friend of your own so you won't be cockblocking all the time."

"first of all, i did get myself a friend," you say, your voice a type of snarky, "but you had to go and make her your girlfriend."

yeosang scoffs, the topic making rounds once again and proceeds to stop spinning himself to churn out another comment to annoy you.

"well maybe she became your friend because she was always meant to be my girlfriend."

you met grace as soon as you stepped foot onto campus given she was your literal roommate, and it only took a couple days to become comfortable with each other because the girl was so friendly and welcoming unlike anyone you've ever met before.

it wasn't until a week later that you considered the two of you actual friends, taking in the fact she was someone you saw yourself sticking by even in the far future.

but it only took another month for yeosang to see what you saw in her and snatched her away, recalling how fast their relationship went from friendly to romantic, you were so annoyed with yeosang because if anything went awry, it would've costed you the first friend you've made besides him.

but here's to them going on 2 years and a half so you really hope yeosang doesn't fuck it up because you think with his track records, you're in the right to have some doubts.

ignoring his response, you go on, "and second of all, your bitch ass invited me so how am i cockblocking?"

grace lets out half a chuckle and stands up to head for the boxes earlier, turning to the both of you.

"you both are hangry. pizza?" she offers.

yeosang takes a slice while you shake your head, telling her you're not hungry right now.

"my point is," yeosang continues, "it was the perfect chance and you completely missed it, but it's whatever now. i summoned you today because i've only seen your hermit ass like three times ever since the start of the term."

"well, yes. i wanted to focus on my studies."

"you need to learn how to relax once in a while," he says, with actual sympathy this time, "which is why i think you're gonna love what i have to say next."

but it just mellows out into an almost sarcastic-like tone, as if he knows you're gonna hate the idea but he's still persistent to go through with it.

"what?" you say, unamused.

he adjusts himself in the chair and puts the barely bitten pizza on standby as grace stares in anticipation because you're sure she already knows exactly what he's gonna say.

"so like, remember yunho?" he squeaks.

it takes a raised brow and maybe two seconds, but you manage to remember, blurting, "jeong yunho?"

"yes!" he nods way too excitedly.

all you really know about jeong yunho was that you've met him probably only twice and had less than a conversation when you did, though not failing to recall how soft-spoken and kind he also was.

"it's his birthday... well, technically his birthday already passed, but he's gonna be holding a late party to celebrate it and i might've maybe told him you're gonna come," yeosang announces, ending the ment with a stupid goofy smile like that's gonna lessen the impact.

"what the fuck, yeosang?"

you scowl, and grace jumps in, "i told him not to but he didn't wanna listen."

"it's a great opportunity!" he cowers back, high-pitched and all as he tries standing his ground.

"you know how much i hate parties!" you yell back just as loud.

"you've been to one!"

"one too much!"

"oh come on, y/n!" he slumps back in the chair staring at you like a disappointed parent. "you only have a year left after this semester. do you really not even wanna have some fun?"

"no. i really don't," you deadpan, much to an eyeroll and sigh from him while grace just sits by idly watching.

"it's not gonna be one of those crazy weird frat parties, i promise. just a house party with close friends, yunho said. plus, there's gonna be plenty of cute guys there."

"good for you. maybe you can find someone there," you say unseriously much to a giggle from grace but to an unamused yeosang because he seriously mean it.

he wants you out of your comfort zone at least just once and go and talk to people you might potentially like, having stayed in your own bubble for so long.

"please?"

the desperation makes you fight the urge to give in but you're losing, only huffing in annoyance.

"what happened to 'you're horrible at this romantic shit'?" you cite him word for word, throwing it back in his face.

"that's cause you really are. plus, you were being annoying at the time. but still doesn't mean i don't want you to try."

you think you're gonna regret. you know you're gonna regret it, but a part of you want to do it just for your best friend so you cave.

"i'll go. but if someone pukes on me again, i'm making you clean that shit with your own mouth."

the party starts at 7 p.m. sharp but yeosang's late birthday gift run leaves you guys almost an hour late, lightly knocking on yunho's door at 7:54 p.m. expecting for the house to be flooded with even more people you don't know but you're surprise to see a couple familiar faces in the background when the door comes apart.

"hey!" the tall birthday boy greets all of you, a lady by her side and arm wrapped around his who you can only assume to be his girlfriend sends a friendly smile the same time.

"come in, come in," he ushers, the three of you stepping inside to the much humble and comforting interior, nothing alike a stereotypical party setting and it's already managed to be the better party you've attended.

it's homey, a bit classy, and you should've expected it because the house is also in a relatively safe part of the neighborhood.

"you guys made it!" yunho welcomes again, his voice loud and excited, eyes traveling between your friends before it eventually stops on you.

"y/n, right?" he says, your name almost foreign sounding coming from him.

you nod in response and the taller boy smiles in relief, not typical of him to forget names but also not wanting to mess up and offend you.

"glad you could make it. i was afraid you couldn't because yeosang went on and on about how much parties scares you."

you narrow your eyes at your best friend and his habit of oversharing before a loose chuckle escapes.

"did he now?"

"he did," yunho says, also a small giggle out of him as if trying to ease the mood and make you comfortable. "but don't worry about it. it's not gonna be crazy, i'm sure of that."

"i appreciate it," you thank him, touched by the kind gesture of assurance although the man barely knows you. "i'll try to enjoy myself."

again, you've only seen yunho on two occasions before this and you can barely even recall the second one, only seeing him in passing along with others currently at the party when you'd go seek out yeosang inbetween classes.

yeosang smirks from beside you, happy and impressed from how you're already easing yourself into the situation, clearing his throat and deciding it's his turn.

"this is for you, birthday boy," yeosang says, presenting the gift in his hand proudly as if he didn't panic just almost 2 hours ago when you brought up if he was gonna get yunho something.

"appreciate it, man. i'm gonna put it with all the other gifts to open later."

he takes it into his hold, attention shortly pulled away by another knock at the door.

"i'm gonna get that. you guys make yourself at home," yunho says, excusing himself with his lady still at armrest.

"see, that wasn't so bad," yeosang takes the first chance he gets as soon as yunho's out of earshot, nudging you by the shoulder much to an eyeroll in return.

"don't speak so fast, we haven't even made it past 10 minutes."

"it's gonna be awesome," he states, convinced of his own words. "you, grace, and all the other girlies can hang out or something while i'm gonna go chat it up with the boys."

a visible annoyance paints grace's expression as she huffs, "if that's the case, i'm coming with. you seem to get stupider with every party."

a couple minutes later and a banter between the lovebirds about how reckless yeosang gets when he's drunk, you wind up in the downstairs bathroom of yunho's house, regretting that you didn't take grace's advice of peeing before coming.

at least the bathroom's nice but you don't wanna have to go out of your way and look for your friends in midst of all staring eyes. you already had enough of those making your way here.

the two had said they wouldn't leave you and it's best you guys stick together, but when you finally spot yeosang, he's already chatting it up with someone new when he was talking to wooyoung before--someone you also don't know well except the fact he's loud and extroverted the last time you met him.

grace is nowhere to be found and you're thinking whether you should just go look for her or insert yourself into the conversation yeosang and this stranger who's only visible from the back of his head, is having.

you don't get to make a choice because yeosang is quick to make it for you, sneaking over this person's shoulder and locking eyes with yours, one hand in the air motioning you to come as if you're his pet while his other is now occupied with a red cup.

you can hear him spewing from a distant as you make your way there, telling the person before him, "oh right, san, this is--"

"--strawberry peach?" the voice not belonging to yeosang says, so strange but familiar and recent at the same time, it stops you dead in track once you meet his eyes.

"strawberry peach lemonade?"

you pick your head up at what sounds like a question, following his gaze to your drink on the table, answering a mere, "yes."

"you came to a cafe to get lemonade?" he tease, delivery a type of amused that would've offended you if not for the smile on his lips.

"what's wrong with that?"

he snickers lowly and shakes his head before going back to his book and muttering, "nothing."

"oh?" yeosang is as confused as the both of you. "you two know each other?" because very rarely do you ever know anyone before he does.

"we met the other day," san tells your friend, your lips tight and body too in shock to answer properly. "at a cafe. she got the strawberry peach lemonade."

"oh. oh!" yeosang's volume turns an octave, a realization hitting him and making the corners of his lips go up because this is the guy you were going on about who was so cute and left such an impression you had to tell him when he knows you to not even look twice a guy's direction.

"thank god," you friend says. "i was afraid she went by some alias on the internet i wasn't aware of."

the comment makes both you and san freeze in place before a chuckle comes hurling out of him though he was fighting to bite it back.

you don't blame him because why would you when your best friend just implied he thought it was your possible camgirl name.

"you're fucking stupid," you hiss, a mix between laughing it off and feeling extremely embarrassed in front of the sole person you didn't think you'd ever meet again and this is how you're officially reintroduced.

"well," yeosang exhales, quick to brush off the remark because he has other things in mind, "i'm gonna go look for grace."

you knew it was coming and that he was gonna try to get the two of you alone but you didn't think it'd come this fast, your palms already starting to sweat and your feet feels like it's gonna make a run for it.

"i'll catch you guys later. you two have fun," yeosang bids goodbye as san returns one while you're just standing and thinking of all the ways to get back at him if this doesn't go well.

"a bit crazy, isn't it?"

that soft, melodic tone pulls you away from yeosang's walking figure and to his eyes that could almost melt you on the spot, that strange sensation settling in the pit of your stomach from his lingering gaze.

"definitely a bit crazy," you manage to say after composing yourself, because you do wanna talk to him and not scare him away, but you're feeling a lot more self-conscious than usual.

but whereas you cave easily under stressful situations, san treads through them with confidence, breaking the ice by asking a question.

"that guy, yeosang, you guys together?"

and if you were in the middle of drinking something, you would've spat it right out at such question.

"definitely not," you deny passionately, though it wouldn't be the first; you and yeosang getting the accusation from time to time because you two happen to be of opposite sex and are actually just friends.

"i'd rather lose an arm before picking to settle with him," you add.

you love your best friend, you do. he's always there for you when needed and has been with you through everything, but he's also messy, lazy, and probably the most disgusting person you know.

grace is a soldier for putting up with it for almost three years now and you don't know how she does it.

san chuckles at the response and the pure offense on your face.

"why not? sounds like an overall decent dude."

"i've known him since middle school. he's more a friend than anything and sometimes like a brother. plus, he has a girlfriend, grace."

"ah," san coos, "so you're the friend. he did say he came with his girlfriend and a friend but he thought his friend was trying to hide."

you shouldn't have expected any better from yeosang but you still wanna kick when you do see him, opting to calmly explain yourself, "was just taking a while in the restroom, that's all."

though you're not sure if it was necessary to address that, your cheeks burning a light pink after that san takes notice to.

he giggles it off and you're glad it made him smile at least.

"if i knew i was gonna meet you here, i'd bring your pen, but i don't think neither of us were expecting such coincidence."

your eyes swell a kind of surprise, almost stuttering when you finally speak, "you got my pen?"

you had quickly packed all your things, afraid you were gonna be late for the next class and you were so sure you got everything. it wasn't until you got back to the dorms that you noticed the stylo sketch pen yeosang got you for christmas was missing.

it didn't take long for it to be considered lost forever because there wasn't much hope of finding it even if you went back, but you didn't think it'd wind up in the hands of the boy you met that day.

"yeah, sorry if you came back looking for it. i had noticed you left it and thought it was rude if i didn't do anything. maybe that's why fate sent me here today," he says, snickering at the last comment, though at this point blaming it on fate doesn't seem so crazy.

"thank you," you tell him quietly, moved by the consideration but volume falling behind the progressing loud music though he can still make out your lips.

"no problem." he smiles.

and you don't know how it's possible but he looks even better than last time, the black attire and slicked back hair a contrast to the other day but when you speak to him, it all still feels the same... the slightly mischievous but easygoing personality turning away your initial worries and nervousness until you can't even remember why you had them.

the only thing left to weigh heavy is his usage of 'fate', the impression that you two meeting today was because of destiny and something already set in stone, but you might be overthinking.

"do you wanna go outside?" he asks, practically shouting at this point because the music has completely drowned out his voice.

he can tell you didn't hear him by how you confusingly squint your brows and unintentionally lean closer, to which he returns, whispering into your ear that shouldn't have sparked whatever it did.

you pull away to nod hesitantly and follow him out the backdoor, your throat clogged and body almost frozen if you weren't walking, glad he isn't looking because never in your life has a man smell that good before.

it's probably not the best idea to be away from your friends with someone you barely know, but you also don't have any reasons not to trust san... for now.

the spring air hugs your skin and you shiver slightly, only a thin cardigan to protect from the cold that makes san second guess coming out here.

"if it's too cold, we can go back inside. i just thought maybe you'd prefer somewhere where we could actually hear each other."

you shake your head but throw in a small smile to show you appreciate the consideration.

"it's okay. it is definitely way too loud inside there."

"yeah," he agrees, "and whoever's phone is connected to the bluetooth has a horrible taste in music." the now muffled audio a rock song you cannot make out the lyrics to even back at the house.

you laugh at the remark, the both of you staring into nothingness but yunho's backyard fences, yet it feels nice. safe. comfortable.

"i bet it's yeosang. he puts on the shittiest songs," you talk bad behind your friend's back, getting a giggle from san that makes it worth it.

"by the way, what did yeosang say your name was again?" he asks, turning to you with his full attention after realizing this whole time he doesn't even know your name.

"y/n," you tell him, locking eyes and ignoring the sensation in your stomach again from being this close and alone to someone who looks like that.

"y/n." you listen to him repeat your name under his breath. "you definitely look like a y/n."

the comment makes the corners of your lips turn, telling him he sounds so silly.

"it's san, right?" it's your turn to ask, sure you got it correct because yeosang's voice is loud, annoying, and hard to miss.

"yes," he confirms. "san choi, or choi san."

"choi san," you mumble, "it definitely has a beat to it."

and you're both laughing together the next, it doesn't feel real how easy being with him is. how, you were so hesitant about showing up and not being able to talk to anybody and now you're actually enjoying yourself, the state of your friends completely forgotten.

you don't usually wanna know many people but you wanna know more about san, every expressions he makes and any words he says paid attention and listened to carefully, you hope you won't scare him off just yet.

the conversation taking place after feels never-ending from him telling you about the transfer process to sharing majors and learning he specializes in math, you don't even realize you've both been standing in the cold for a while until a voice calls out to you.

"y/n!"

you look over your shoulder to find grace standing there, only half her body out the door and moving her eyes from you to san, the slight surprise when she sees you're with someone.

"there you are," she says. "i thought you had left without telling us."

you're now fully facing her with san following, watching from the side as you two carry on.

"what happened?" you ask.

she sighs before telling you it's yeosang, not to anyone's surprise.

"he's stupid drunk already and picking fights," she adds, getting second embarrassment again just thinking about how mad her boyfriend had got when he found out wooyoung had gotten yunho the same gift.

it wasn't anyone's fault; yeosang just loses half his braincells when he's under the influence.

you shake your head unamused and swipe san a glare, apologizing and telling him you have to go.

"wait," san stops you before you could completely leave him standing alone in the cold. "your pen. can i still give it back to you?"

you're standing there almost starstrucked-like and nodding your head, stuttering at the fact he wants to see you again.

"y-yes."

"perfect." he smiles. "how about the cafe again? we're both familiar with the place."

"that'll work," you say. "this monday?"

"this monday."

"cool. i'll see you then, san."

"what? no way!" grace yells, after you finish telling her about san and how crazy the coincidence is.

"yeah... i didn't really think i'd see him again," you say softly while settling down on the edge of your bed with grace across in hers, your heart doing a turn just thinking about the exchange between you and san again.

"you're blushing," grace snaps you out, meeting her gaze and batting your lashes.

"what? i'm not," you deny, adjusting yourself in the seat like that's gonna make her less suspicious.

"no. you are." she giggles. "you like him."

the bold statement makes your eyes go wide, shaking your head and denying the accusation on the spot because you can't possibly like someone you just met.

"i don't even know the guy," you tell her, trying to convince her as much as you are to yourself, hoping she won't catch how tense you're sounding at just the mere topic of this guy.

"so?" she shrugs, leaning back with her hands to the sheet. "you can't know a person within one night. finding out about the person is all part of the journey to eventually, a relationship."

you just learned the guy's name and now she's already bringing up the possibility of a relationship.

"believe me, y/n." she sits back up, intensely locking eyes with you and voice stern as if schooling a child. "the almost 3 years i've known you, i've never seen you look at anyone like that."

"you're being dramatic," you say, but the girl is still persistent, repeating herself and assuring you san is special.

"you're meeting him monday, right?"

"yes." you nod, a part of you still nervous but also excited to be seeing him again.

"tell me how it goes!"

when monday rolls around, you don't wanna think grace is right, but from how your heart is pitter pattering in your chest and you even glanced an extra time at the mirror before coming, you're afraid she just might be.

you don't have class till noon, and though he didn't specify the time, you just assumed it was around the same as last time, making yourself comfortable and occupied by scrolling through your social feeds.

the opening of the cafe door is missed and you don't fully comprehend he's here until a small 'hi' pulls you from the screen, looking up as he smiles down at you and you're reminded of why it's so hard to look away from this man.

"hey," you greet as calm as your nerves allows you to.

he takes the seat across and settles his backpack the same as he did before, the smile on him never having left his face the entire time.

"no drinks or what?" he says, the slightly teasing tone lightening up the atmosphere.

"i wanted to wait till you get here," you tell him. "i thought it would be rude if i ordered ahead of time."

he chuckles and shakes his head.

"no worries. i would've understand, but i appreciate the consideration." there's a split second of silence before he continues, "tell me what you want, i can go order."

you hum and think as if you don't get the same thing everytime; san jumping in when you can't seem to make a choice.

"strawberry peach, right?" he asks, an eyebrow raised.

"strawberry peach," you confirm, reaching for your bag to give him the change. "here's--"

but he kindly interrupts you, waving it off and assuring he got it

"are you sure?" you ask, a kind of worry in your voice because you feel slightly bad he has to pay for your $3 drink.

"of course. i'll be back."

and he goes off with a smile; you catching the dimple poking out of his cheek before he left and you think it just might be your favorite thing about him... not that you're keeping track of others.

you thank him quietly when he returns, mind suddenly empty when it comes to topic although you two were just talking a few days ago like you were never gonna run out of things to talk about--then you remember.

"right... so my pen," you bring up, hoping it's not too straightforward but you really wanted to say something.

his face lights up, the realization hitting him as well.

"oh, right right. give me a sec," he says, pulling his backpack and digging through it before pulling out the sketch pen yeosang got you almost two christmas ago. "your pen."

he hands it to you and you accept it with the sincerest 'thank you' you could let out, playing with it in your hand because you did think the old thing was lost for good.

"don't forget it this time," he teases; your head picking up to let out a snicker.

"i won't."

he nods, staring at the pen you've still yet to put away and thinking back to what you were doing the last time you were here.

"you're an artist?" he asks, the question casting your eyes with a twinge of shyness at such wording.

you've never considered yourself an artist. if you did, you think it'd be an insult to actual artists.

"i draw and major in arts but i'm not an artist," you tell him with a shake of your head and a dry snicker this time.

"then you're an artist," he says, shrugging with the most nonchalant expression painting him.

you chuckle, continuing to deny such bold claim.

"just because someone cooks that also doesn't make them a chef."

"that's fair," he agrees, thinking the logic makes total sense. "but i'm sure your arts are amazing."

here's to sitting with probably the cutest guy you've ever met, and he's telling you you're amazing at the one thing you're passionate about and you're not sure how to feel about that.

"you haven't even seen my work," you say, the mischievous tone in this back and forth feeling more like a banter at this point.

"no. but i saw a glimpse," he defends, really set on the fact he thinks you are totally good at what you do even if you are correct about him not having seen the whole thing, "and i'm sure the actual work is amazing."

you reframe from rolling your eyes and bite at your lips instead so the smile doesn't slip, moving the discussion along because you're more interested about him than your unsatisfactory artist journey.

"so what do you do with you know... math?" you ask, trying to not sound ignorant on the topic but that's exactly how it came off.

thankfully, he finds it cute and laughs it off.

"i went into it because the people around me said i was good at it," he says, a bit unfazed and dull. "that's pretty much it, i guess." and ending it with a smile when he catches your gaze again.

"but do you enjoy it?"

there's a quick silence and san tilts his head slightly, quirking his lips to the side before answering.

"it's not bad. if anything, it's been easy, so i'm glad for that at least."

you nod, smiling in return.

"that's good. only one more year and we'll be done."

"yeah," he says, letting out a loose chuckle after. "i can't wait. there's something i want to do after, but for now, we'll have to see what happens."

and you wanna ask him more about it; what is it that he wants to do after and just more about him in general, but you have taken notice of the clock sitting behind him and the fact you only have 20 minutes to get to campus.

you kindly thank him again for returning the pen as well as the drink, and in the midst of all turmoil and conflicted feelings because you don't know how to ask if you're gonna see him again, he's the one who fortunately suggests you guys exchange numbers.

you leave the shop with one last wave to him and his handsome smile ingrained in your head for the rest of the day.

but you're still not sure you like him just yet. not until summer.

after almost six hours, a few rest stops, and long stretches of desert roads, the heat of the much southern california is felt along with the sight of palm trees spread out everywhere.

"we've arrived, ladies," yeosang announces, finally parked into the hotel's parking lot after missing at least two turns before he found the place.

as soon as you step out, the summer air is annoying and you wish you hadn't wore long sleeves. but you like summer because it always marked the end of a semester and then the beginning of a new one--the fact you're so close to almost graduating.

you were planning to not do anything all summer, just eager for some rest and break away from the stress that came with school and your part-time job, but yeosang was quick to scrap all plans and make some of his own.

said his friends were gonna go down south and out of town for a whole week and invited him, and he wanted you and grace to come along since it would be the last summer break you all would share before graduating.

you told him you would come as long as he would be driving and he didn't have any problems. he thinks you and grace are terrible drivers though you would say otherwise.

"and who are these friends of yours again?" you ask, taking your luggage out of the trunk and staring up into the hotel you guys would be staying at, amazed at the amount of floors the building holds.

"you know," yeosang replies, shutting the trunk after he's made sure nothing's left behind, "yunho, wooyoung, and some others at the party."

you hum at the vagueness of the answer, following both your friends to the hotel's lobby that has a mix of modernness but also slight tropical and beach vibes, the color scheme a combination of white, woodsy brown, and green.

after being given your room keys, you don't wanna do anything but lay down and rest for a bit though yeosang should be more tired than you, he still has enough energy to roam the rest of the hotel when grace asked.

your room is a single queen bed and has almost the perfect view to beach if not for the huge palm tree that happens to sit in front.

yeosang and grace had initially wanted just one room together to save on cost but you didn't wanna be that person, and especially the third wheel to everything, so you cut your losses.

it's gonna be hefty on your wallet but it's only for a week, and plus, you get your own privacy and space away from the eyes of your friends.

the late preparations and long drive left almost no free time, so instead, the night is spent on the rooftop restaurant of the hotel where grace wanted to eat at, and after finishing your meal, you excuse yourself to go shower and sleep first because you want to wake up early for breakfast.

--

you wind up in the dining room alone at 7:30 in the morning because both your friends moaned and groaned about it being too early.

your breakfast consists of two pancakes, scrambled eggs, a banana, and a cup of coffee; choosing to settle on a table in the far corner.

you watch the many guests go in and out of the dining room, also keeping yourself occupied with your phone while eating hoping to finish fast enough so you'll be able to go back upstairs to do your makeups and pick out an outfit since your friends want to go sightseeing later.

and you were doing pretty good keeping your eyes to the entrance of the dining room, but you must've missed their arrival, because as you go to shove a piece of pancake down your throat, the slight tap on your shoulder makes your head turn.

"san..." you say his name so naturally, it just instinctly rolling off your tongue.

you haven't seen him in a while, but now he's standing in front of you although you're almost 6 hours away from home.

"hey, y/n," he greets, the smile you also haven't seen in a while making all of that strange sensation come back as he takes the seat across from you.

"hey," you say, your shock now morphing into actual joy at the fact he's here. "what are you doing here?"

"wooyoung invited me," he answers, nodding off in a direction that your eyes shoot to, seeing wooyoung, yunho, and a couple others from the party just as yeosang said, huddled around an area of the room you can't believe you missed.

"oh," you mumble, as if all of this should've been expected and it's no surprise san is here too.

"and where are your friends? what are they doing to be leaving you alone like this?" his voice a mix of teasing but also concern, it's hard to tell which one is louder.

but you laugh, telling him your friends stayed up way too late last night and didn't wanna get up this early.

"i see." he nods. "well, good thing i found you." he smiles again, every single time making your heart strangely tight.

you didn't see san much after the cafe meeting, or at all. the both of you busy with either school, work, or other responsibilities, most of the interactions were limited to texting, and even then, it was hardly a daily occurence.

though you guys did exchange instagrams and he poked fun of you because your profile picture was a digital painting you did of yourself and you had 3 posts only--all of them also of art works, he at least complimented you.

said you have an amazing gift and all that even if you're still trying to believe it yourself, you appreciate the kindness.

"yeah," you say. "kind of crazy we were going on the same trip and didn't even know it."

the realization makes the both of you giggle in sync, the conversation and atmosphere so easy flowing, it's hard to believe you haven't talked to him face to face for a few months now.

"but again, we were kind of occupied with our own thing and all that," he tries reasoning. "but i'm glad you're here. it will be fun, you know. wooyoung they're all a little loud but i'm sure you got a friend to match the energy."

you nod, a smile on your lips almost the whole time and your food going cold because san just said he's glad you're here.

"oh for sure. we will fit just right in with yeosang."

it was a night where you and san texted for much longer than usual when he told you how him and wooyoung became friends. the boy younger than him by a few months but so much more extroverted and chaotic in every other way.

nonetheless, he said wooyoung is a great friend to have and he's grateful for the wonderful people he's met through him.

you were mostly focus on the initial surprise and shock of seeing san here, you didn't even realize he's sat down with you the entire time before he's even got anything to eat.

"you should probably go grab something," you tell him, your tone sweet and concern even if you've yet to really become close to this man.

he briefly checks over his shoulder to find his friends still occupied and not seated, shaking his head.

"i'll wait for them. besides, if i go, i'm afraid you're gonna try to run away."

you can't help the squint that takes over one of your eyebrows, the line between teasing, being friendly, and flirting blurring into one and you feel you're giving yourself too much credits for even thinking of the possibility of the last one.

but before you can say anything, a rather familiar and nice-sounding voice beats you to it.

"hey, y/n!"

it's yunho, face and body language as kind and welcoming as ever, and with his girlfriend wrapped around his arm who you've also learned from san, prefers her korean name, jiwon, over her american given one.

"hey!" you try to be enthusiatic as much as you allowed yourself to without the help of yeosang. this is usually his field of expertise.

they ask about your friends whereabouts the same as san, and you give the same response as they hum and nod in understanding.

"well it's perfect we ran into you here then," yunho beams. "we're thinking of hitting the pool this evening, you guys care to join?"

you're probably the worst person to ask out of your group, swimming not really being your thing and all, but you give yunho your words that you'll ask yeosang and grace first, guaranteeing the fact the two are gonna say yes.

they eventually excuse themselves and bid you goodbye, the process catching some of the other guys attention as they take notice to you and give out small waves before disppearing to get breakfast.

"awesome. i guess i'll see you then."

san snaps you back, meeting his gaze and throwing a smile that could melt you on the spot.

"we'll see," you mumble.

"i should probably leave you to finish your food then. you leaving soon?" he looks down at your plate and you follow, feeling almost embarrassed at the mess that you've only half ate.

"yeah. i think i'm good for breakfast." you chuckle lightly.

he pretends to pout, quirking one side of his lips.

"aww i'm sorry for distracting you. yeah i really should get going."

"oh no you're good. i'll just be on my way."

"alright. i'll see you later?"

"yeah, i'll see you later."

and with that, after watching him walk away as he bids one last farewell, you clear your table and head back upstairs; the encounter heavy on your mind as you start rummaging your luggage for an outfit.

"no no. you don't understand. you need the perfect swimsuit!"

grace's voice ring throughout the tiny store at the beachfront and you're regretting telling her san's gonna be there at all. because now, she's dead set on impressing san and making sure you wow him tonight.

currently, she's trying to convince you to give in to a black two piece that has the bottom hiked so high up your waist with barely any coverage for the buttocks, you think your father would disown you if he sees you in it.

yeosang distracts himself by the glass and hat sections, leaving you girls to talk amongst yourselves, though he doesn't shy away from passing snide remarks because he knows you even better than grace and that you're shopping way out of your comfort zone.

"girl, i'm looking for clothes to swim in, not to seduce him," you say annoyingly when she won't give up.

"you don't know that!" she squeaks, giving the two piece another once over. "you're gonna look totally hot in it!"

"then buy it for yourself." you cross your arms, narrowing your eyes at her. "i'm not wearing that in front of like what? 8 or something guys."

she frowns before dropping a loud, "fine!" placing the piece back on its rack and turning to you to mimick your posture. "you are such a pick me."

the comment makes you scoff, rolling your eyes at your best friend's antics.

"excuse you. just because i'm a lot more reserved and hesitant doesn't mean i want to be different or whatever society wants to paint us more shy girlies."

"yeah yeah," she brushes you off, waving in the air. the topic one you two already had one too many times. "but i won't need it for myself because i already brought a cute swimsuit from home."

"well that's great. then maybe we can just head back to the hotel," you say, delivery a type of sarcastic to play along but she clearly isnt very amused, pouting and scoffing at you the entire walk back.

"i don't wanna be the only one in a swimsuit!" she yells at you in the comfort of your hotel room, having came down a few minutes ago because she wanted to know what you're gonna wear.

but you dismiss and excuse her complaints with a roll of your eyes. "you'll be fine, grace. and even if, more power and attention to you."

little did you know you'd end up being the odd one out, finally showing up to the pool with your friends and seeing everyone in appropriate attire while you're out with a pair of gym shorts and a black t-shirt, having told your friends you're probably not gonna swim.

"hey guys!"

the voice just now belonging to hongjoong, who you recognize and remember the few occasions you happened to see him with yeosang. he's a year older and already graduated but is definitely the backbone of the group, yeosang said.

everyone already there greets all three of you, friendly smiles and welcoming body languages, the amount of people is quite overwhelming but you try your best to hide it, returning the gestures with a smile of your own.

some's sprawled on the lounge chairs, some already in the pool, and some sitting idly in the hot tub.

but you don't see him anywhere.

you didn't come for him in particular (if you did, you would've bought the two piece your friend so hard tried pushing). you came for your friend and the kindness of his other friend group, but your eyes do naturally search for him and you notice his absence immediately.

but you don't wanna ask. it just doesn't feel right to.

"well don't just stand there! get your butts in the pool!" wooyoung splashes the three of you as you flinch and instinctly try to protect the sketchbook you broughtly along in case your friends get pulled away by their extroverted activities and you don't have anything better to do.

"jung wooyoung! i'm gonna get you for that!" yeosang shouts, the boy's teasing doing exactly what he wanted as your friend jumps in the pool and chases after a giggly wooyoung.

grace chuckles beside you, pulling you by the wrist. "come on, let's go." but you're quick to stop and tell her you're gonna sit for a bit first.

she sighs but lets it go, threatening to get you wet and soak the sketchbook if you don't get in after a while.

you watch your friends and even if you're not the one having all the fun, the fact they look like they are makes you happy enough, shaking your head and giggling when you see grace and yeosang attempt to do a breath-holding contest or tries submerging the other's head into the water.

you made sure to choose the chair furthest from the pool because you don't want yeosang pulling anything funny.

a couple doodles and swimming competition between wooyoung and yeosang for the 4th time, the sudden voice in your ear makes the hair on your skin raise, flinching slightly to turn and meet his gaze.

he goes from expressionless to a smile that you almost want to poke his dimples for having the guts to show up this close.

and when he pulls away, asking what you're doing, you barely register his words because you're too busy trying to not drool over this man being shirtless and looking like the best art you've ever seen, making anything you've ever created pale in comparison.

but fortunately (or unfortunately), you don't get to dissect him for too long because you're more curious who the lady standing beside him is and why you haven't seen her before.

she's in a ruffle yellow swimsuit with sunglasses and a sunhat that goes perfectly with whatever aesthetic she was going for. and you think she looks like what grace probably had in vision for you when she wanted you to wow san.

"san! ashley! get over here!" you all snap to the call of hongjoong as he waves in the air from the pool, the water stopping at his armpit.

ashley.

"you coming with us?" san asks, his tone welcoming and inviting, but you're gonna sit this one out.

"i'm good," you answer with a small smile, and he quirks his lips to the side at that, dropping his shoulders at the answer before nodding.

"alright," he says. "but you can always join us whenever. if not, i hope you'll have fun," he refers to the sketchbook in your hands and you feel it sinking deep into your chest, a bit embarrassed by the fact but he just laughs it off.

"i'll see you," he bids, making his way to the others and guiding the new girl (to you) by the small of her back.

and you really try to focus on the sketch, your inspirations drawn from people, places, and things around you. the current sunset absolutely beautiful in its orange hue, but you can't miss the laughters and fun san is sharing with the new girl, and you don't miss how the more you're with this man, the more a type of longing blossoms.

how, everytime he's in sight, your eyes just naturally follows him. settles on him. like you just wanna look at him all day.

you shake the thoughts off, which becomes quite easy once yeosang and grace along with a couple others decides they're done for good, and seonghwa, the oldest of you all, suggests to end the night by sharing dinner together.

it's on him and hongjoong, he said.

the rooftop restaurant feels different this time in the company of others. you stick close to your friends and observe everyone else like a lost little puppy when you have nothing better to do.

it's loud and chaotic and you're struggling to keep up with everyone and everything, but you manage to catch the smile of san when grace starts going off about something embarrassing you did in freshmen year as revenge for not getting in the pool.

you shout and defend your name and dignity but it doesn't help much with yeosang jumping in, leading to a long night of teasing and bullying from your friends in the face of everyone as they laugh at the 'endearing' friendships you guys share.

and by the end of the night, you almost forgot about san or the fact you guys barely interacted. not until you're fresh out the shower and recovering your social battery that you get the first text from him in a while.

san: it's true the story your friend told?

you can't even help the chuckle that escapes, catching yourself and going on to reply.

y/n: 😭 i hate grace lmfao

san: it's okay😅 we all just casually poop our pants in the middle of the night

y/n: 🙄

san: kidding 😁

san: hey. i was thinking if you'd like to get breakfast together tomorrow?

san: im sorry we didn't get to talk a lot today. you looked so uncomfortable during dinner 😅

the comment flusters you, thinking about the fact san was watching and saw how out of place you really looked.

y/n: just not used to big crowds lol

san: i can see that

san: but it's okay. it'll just be us tmr 🙂

y/n: won't your friends be there?

san: nope. they dont like the food lol

san: how about urs? will they be coming?

y/n: most likely not. those two don't wake until almost noon

san: perfect lol. i'll see you then?

y/n: maybee 😀

and he probably didn't push too hard because it's almost like he knew you're gonna be there; waking up before it's even 7 and sitting at the same table from before, watching guests go in and out of the room hoping to catch the boy that sent you the text last night.

his face lights up the same as you when he enters, waving in the air and heading your direction, you really shouldn't feel so nervous but excited at the sight of him walking.

"hey!" he greets cheerfully, sliding into the seat across with a smile.

"good morning," you return, hands curled in your lap and happy he can't see them because you wonder what he'd think.

"how you'd sleep?" he ask the same time he combs over his morning hair, never in your life has someone looked so good doing so, you didn't even think it was possible.

"good," you manage to answer with composure. "and you?"

"alright." he shrugs. "wooyoung was just mostly drunk and annoying from last night's dinner."

a small giggle also laced with empathy escapes from you. "well i'm sorry to hear. i hope today will be better."

he nods. "hopefully." then realizing you haven't even gotten your food, talking in a concerned tone, "don't tell me you were waiting for me."

"i was," you say. "don't worry about it. i'm not that hungry. the dinner last night kept me filled plenty."

"if you say so..." he lingers a bit before continuing, "should we go now?"

"sure."

you also get close to the same thing you got last time, with the exception that they've switched out pancakes for waffles, getting a question from san after sitting down about your food choices.

"well, i really only eat korean foods," you tell him. "i'm not too fond of anything else besides what's on my plate right now."

"ahh. so you're a picky eater?"

"somewhat. that's why yeosang hates going out to eat with me."

san lets out a quiet snicker, something more mischievous bubbling in his eyes that you don't read into.

"you talk about yeosang a lot... does yours and his relationship ever bothers your other friend?" he asks, the question stopping you from sipping your coffee.

the friendly and harmless tone still in the air but you can't hide the fact the question flusters you a little.

"well, me and yeosang have known each other for a while... even before grace, so she understands that we don't see each other like that at all."

san quirks his lips and nods, taking your words for it.

"why?" you speak again. "do we give out that kind of vibe?" you ask worriedly, because you would never want to unintentionally (or intentionally) hurt grace in any ways. on your life you have never seen yeosang for more than the annoying middle schooler you couldn't get rid of.

but as san shakes his head, you feel a sense of relief, watching as a light smirk creep up on his face.

"just wondering," he says, so calmly but eerie at the same time, you can't quite grasp the intention. but then something else comes over, and you forget all about deciphering san's answer; not really wanting to but letting the intrusive thoughts win.

"and that girl you were with yesterday? you guys together?" you ask, no menance in your voice; just a natural curioisity because you wanna know... not for any reasons deeper.

"she's a friend," he answers fast and casual. "i know her from my previous school because we were under the same program and have similar interests and whatnot."

"i see," you mumble, a light smile anyone would've missed because you don't wanna admit to anyone why the fact brings you a sense of comfort.

but it doesn't cut it with grace.

"that's what they always say!" she cries dramatically, after storming into your room when she was finally done sleeping past noon and the events of yesterday hit her.

but you don't have any reasons to doubt san, even if you love your best friend and wanna take her words for it, you don't think it's fair to assume someone you barely know is trying to take your man that isn't really your man.

"for all you know, they could be fucking behind doors."

"grace!" you yell your friend's name at such accusation, your ears turning red at even the thought of it.

"sorry," she mutters, but barely meaning it, only shrugging off what needed to be said.

"i just don't want you to be hurt in the end," she says, voice a kind of sympathy you didn't even know you need.

because yes, you think san is handsome. he is kind and unusually attentive to you for whatever reasons, and seeing someone else by his side made your stomach queasy all for the wrong reasons... but you don't feel justified in feeling a certain way just because your friend says you should.

you're not with him and you still don't even know if you wanna be with him.

“trust me, grace,” you assure her, a confident smile settling on your lips that she only frowns to. “i’ll be fine.”

and as much as she wants to believe it, it’s hard not to doubt knowing the way you are.

how, though you’ve navigated through life barely getting romantically involved with boys, it wouldn’t be difficult for someone like san to get you wrapped around his fingers if he wants to.

the guy way too charming; how he just casually checks all criteria from looks to personality, the girl herself rooting for you and him initially, but quickly rethinking the choice after last night.

yet, you don't let what your friend says get to you. or at least you try not to, but it's loud and it bothers you through the day... if someone as likeable as san would be able to hurt you.

if he could lie and deceive you and not even feel bad about it.

but when he pops by your side at night; yours and his friend group having the want to go clubbing, and he stays with you almost entirely, neglecting the girl grace said you should be worried about, you can't even remember why you doubted him in the first place.

not when he'd ask questions about you all night long as if he really wants to know you, so interested in the arts and work you do and accompanying you when everyone else is busy enjoying themselves.

and especially when he'd get breakfast with you every morning until the trip is over, a part of you glad but another saddened by the fact because you know you won't get to see him everyday anymore.

you'll have to go back to the old routine of working and assignments, no more butterflies or feelings of tightness in your chest and stomach, uncertain when you're gonna even get to see or talk to him again.

but one thing you know for sure, is that by the end of summer, you're positive you like choi san.

you're positive you like san, because every time your phone rings with a notification, you can't help but wish it's him--replying to a meme you've sent a few hours ago, or asking how your day has been.

that when grace commented on how your art style has changed, as if they've been pulled and inspired by someone or something, she wasn't just trying to tease you.

grace also being the same person to explain the feelings in your chest and stomach, and why your breath is taken away each time whenever you see him.

even if she was skeptical a few months ago and yelling in your face he's gonna hurt you, seeing the way he is around you has calmed her mind to some extent.

the way he actually treats you with interests and and respect, listening and nodding when you talk and asking you about everything, managing to convince your friend somewhat he might take a liking to you and that you won't come out of this wounded.

he's even become closer with yeosang; the craziness of just how different but also alike these two are, able to carry a conversation on for hours and making grace and you feel forgotten.

"so you guys are coming, right?" san asks the three of you in a corner of the library, quick to associate the spot with you and your friends after asking about your whereabouts one day.

"uh--"

"of course!" yeosang beats you to it, both you and grace narrowing your eyes at the boy in the middle. "we wouldn't wanna miss it."

grace sneers and throws yeosang another look.

"right, because the other two parties where you made a clown show of yourself wasn't enough." she shakes her head and lowers it back to her notebook, mumbling under her breath, "i'm not babysitting."

yeosang pouts immediately, putting on an act and a voice to go with it that makes you wanna throw a punch his way.

"babe, please..."

"no."

"it'd be the last college party before we graduate."

"no."

then he turns to you and hopes you'll take pity.

"y/n?"

you fume under your nose and follow grace as you start scribbling so he gets the hint, because you also don't wanna go to this party. even if wooyoung's the one throwing it and you're all gonna be graduating soon.

you'd rather just end your college career in peace.

"san's going so you're already automatically going anyway," yeosang says, losing his patience and throwing you under the bus to be petty, receiving a kick to his ankle from under the table in return.

"you really should think about coming," san brings it up one more time on the walk to your next class, after leaving the lovebirds in the library to talk it out between them.

you come to a stop when you've both reached the building, standing before him with your textbook curled in your arms and quirking your lips to the side.

"i'll think about it, but if grace don't wanna come, yeosang probably won't."

"why not come by yourself?" he suggests, like it's the easiest thing in the world. but he knows you well at this point, adding, "i know it's probably scary going without your friends, but trust me, you won't be alone. i'll be there so you won't ever have to worry about it." he smiles.

and his words. his body language. his smile. they all come off so sincere and genuine, you just wanna believe him and everything he says.

that he won't ever hurt you. make you feel inadequate and question everything about yourself, because liking someone isn't supposed to feel painful and it isn't supposed to make your heart ache.

but when you show up to the party without your friends, the people you recognize doesn't do anything to ease your anxiety, especially when the number pales in comparison to people you don't recognize.

and by now, you're more than sure you like san because despite his efforts to make you feel welcomed and comfortable amongst the sea of strangers he knows scares you, it doesn't matter when the girl beside him makes you feel uneasy all night.

when butterflies and a beating heart are replaced by the wish to run, liking someone is no longer fun.

"what! you are such a liar!" ashley squeaks with a giggle, pushing san's shoulder lightly in a friendly banter. the kind that makes you feel like you're intruding and disrupting something confidential by following san all night like a lost puppy.

"no! i'm forreal," san defends himself from the girl's teasing, his cheeks flushing pink even in the bad kitchen lighting.

"you were messing with her!"

he chuckles and you're wondering why you're still even here--or how the conversation of san and another girl not you or ashley even started.

"i promise, we were just friends," he says.

ashley shakes her head, smirking the same time she drinks from the cup in her hand, and when she looks san in the eye, she isn't just the girl san's friend with anymore.

because if grace were to yell in your face again about this girl and all the reasons you should be worried, you would agree with her.

even if you still don't feel justified... you like san now, and you can't help but think she's a threat.

"cute, isn't he?" she turns to you, her gaze burning and making you feel small on the spot. her confidence something she walks with proudly and with an aura you hate yourself for even admiring, "but unfortunately a hard one to tie down."

her words and tone cryptic, you can only blink as you try to digest what she said just now and if it was meant to be a dig at you.

you clear your throat, not feeling any bigger with the volume but excusing yourself either way to use the restroom.

just sit in there and think of any excuses in order to get out of here, regretting not staying with yeosang and grace to watch alice in borderland for the 5th time while eating wingstop.

because if you did, you wouldn't be feeling this way. out of place and with the boy you like slipping right by the palm of your hand.

your phone buzzing in your lap takes the moment away, looking down to see the one person you wanna hear from, even if he's also responsible for the doubts in your head.

san: hey. you good?

san: im outside the bathroom. i don't wanna knock though bc im scared it might not be you in there lol

you don't respond, instead going to open the door even if you should be contemplating about a valid reason to go home, chest and face nearly knocking into him, you can only gulp.

"hey." he smiles.

"hey," you mumble, wondering if he can even hear especially with the amount of bodies littering the hallway, but he does judging by the reaction.

"you okay?" he asks, voice concerned the way it always is.

"yeah..." you answer, your stance so awkward. "just needed some space." you try laughing it off, to which he returns one much to your relief.

"i see. well, should we go somewhere quieter? with less people?"

"actually..." your volume simmers, afraid he's gonna take it the wrong way. "i was thinking of going home."

he stares at you a second too long before responding with a simple "oh." the wheels going off in his head until an idea comes over. "that's fine. i can take you home."

"no, you're good. yeosang said he'd pick me up when i'm ready."

"no, let me. i want to. plus, i invited you so it's only fair."

and you weren't gonna argue with him; not when he was already pulling out his keys and telling you to follow him out the house and into his car.

"aren't you a little drunk?" you tease, after watching him pull at the seatbelt.

"a little." he smirks, turning to you. "but i'm good for the most part. i didn't drink that much."

right. because he was mostly engaged and immersed in conversations and banters that you weren't a part of, with the girl you're still wondering what happened to.

"where did your friend go?" you ask, as casually as possible.

"ashley? she got pulled away by some pool table game wooyoung they wanted to play."

you just nod, though the many unanswered questions about this friend bothers you, moving to look ahead and admire the size of wooyoung's house the same time san starts the engine. and that's when you realize, this might be the first time you and san are actually alone.

without hotel guests, nosy friends, partygoers, or people that frequents the cafe, but more importantly--without being behind the screens of your phones.

"the university's dorms, correct?"

"correct."

as he drives you back to the place, he can't stop asking questions.

"how'd you like it there?"

"pretty good. i have all i need, and the best part is i get to room with grace, so."

he sends a small smile your way in midst of driving, and you think he looks so attractive doing so. his hands on the wheel and his relaxed stance as he listens attentively like the boyfriend you never had.

"that's great," he says, coming to a stop at a red light, looking your way immediately. "that's a nice outfit by the way. i can't believe i didn't tell you earlier."

and you really wanna blush and grow shy at the fact he pays you this much attention, but you really just giggle instead.

"well thanks. you look pretty great yourself."

he steps on the gas at the green and scoffs but the corner of his lips pulling into a small smile.

"you're just saying that to say it."

you wanna tell him he don't even know how much you mean it. how unbelievable it is-- the fact he just walks around looking like that all the time.

but you chuckle it off and you're sure he's just playing with you, the drive weaving through the fall weather and city lights as an air of fresh and relief come over, you can't believe you were so apprehensive not even 40 minutes ago back at wooyoung's party.

"here we are," he says, pulling into the dorm's parking lot you had to help him find.

"thanks," you tell him. "i appreciate it."

"no problem," he replies, a silence lingering after and an expression on his face that something's clearly bothering him. "hey..."

"yeah?"

"i'm sorry about tonight... if anything made you uncomfortable."

you only smile, though the reminder makes your heart heavy with today's events, you're happy he noticed and care.

it seems to just be how he is; eyes and ears always attentive and sometimes a little too curious.

"it's okay," you assure. because even if you are upset, it doesn't feel like you have the rights to. as if you're just making all of this up in your head to ruin the night. "i think it was mostly because yeosang and grace wasn't there," you lie.

"i understand. would've been a lot better if they had made it."

"yeah, but it's okay. you going back after dropping me off?"

he nods. "i have to, unfortunately. wooyoung would want me to."

you hum lowly in acknowledgment, your legs closed together and your throat tight all of a sudden.

"well i hope you'll have fun the rest of the night. i'm sorry i couldn't stay longer."

"i'll try to," he says, a quiet giggle leaving. "won't be the same without you but probably should've picked a better place, you know."

"it's all good," you say with a smile, head whipping around to the darkly lit dorm building and its entrance. "i should probably get going."

"should i walk with you?"

you look at him while unbuckling your seatbelt, shaking your head. "i got it. i'd rather you get back to your friends."

he opens his mouth to say something but quickly takes it back, trying again.

"hey," he says so softly, you can almost melt into the look in his eyes, staring at you with blinking lashes.

"yeah?"

"so i thought this was really nice, you know... the car ride and all." he stops for a second to find his words. "i was wondering if you'd like to do it again? i think the cafe's nice, but this is a good change of scenery."

and you wonder if san can hear the beating of your heart especially in the quiet of his car, but you quickly pick yourself up to answer, "i'd love to do this again." you smile, and san returns one.

"perfect. i'll text you."

"i look forward."

which is why even if you didn't have the greatest of time; most of the night spent in self-doubts and regrets, you also don't beat yourself up for what he could be doing after he dropped you off.

what he's doing at the party or who he's having fun with, because afterall, he asked you out.

said it with a sweet look in his eyes and a tone to match, you'd rather look forward to what went right than what didn't; sleeping under your sheet in the dark of the night, sacrificing any uncertainty for restful sleep.

"these fries are way too salty."

you listen to san complains, his posture relaxed but face scowling at the fast food he just shoved down his throat a few seconds ago.

a laugh bubbles out of you and you shake your head, munching on the fries you protested on getting, but san way too stubborn to convince otherwise.

"you're right. maybe we should've gotten burgers," he says, looking at you and placing the food back in the bag. "never again."

"maybe," you mutter with a quiet giggle.

san had texted you exactly two days after the party, the reminder cracking the biggest smile on your face that grace took notice to and immediately wanted to know the cause of.

"it's totally a date!" your friend says, squealing after you tell her of why you wanna blush just now.

"it's not a date."

she sighs and rolls her eyes, prying your phone right from your hand that gets you up from the bed to fight her.

"he even put a smiling emoji. what else would that mean!?" she continues squeaking and dodging your attempts, until you manage to snatch it back.

"i think he's just being nice."

he picked you up, asked for suggestions on what to eat (and didn't listen), and paid for everything before pulling into the parking lot of a store opened 24 hours.

"so..." he starts speaking, hands cleared of salt from the fries and now looking at you through his car's lighting. "excited to graduate soon?"

you nod. "of course. and you?"

"for sure," he answers, attention pulled away to the front merely before meeting your eyes again. "any plans yet?"

"not much luck. kind of figure i'll think about that after," you answer with a dry chuckle. your bleak future not something to laugh about, but it's a way of coping. "you?"

and you asked out of pure curiosity and interest, but at the way his face falls, you would've thought you insulted him. watching his eyes go dark and almost nervous, the atmosphere shifting when he just sits in silence for too long.

"sorry," you mumble apologetically, bringing light to his eyes once more when he just shakes his head.

"no, you're good. i'm sorry. i was just thinking."

"it's okay," you assure, "if it's still something you're thinking of."

"yeah." he smiles, the act almost forced, but you try to not linger on the thought. why he tends to shut down when you ask too many questions and want to know too much... the same he does to you.

"hey," he attempts to revive the atmosphere he was responsible for killing. "can i ask you something?"

you tilt your head slightly at that, placing the empty bag of fries back where it came from and nodding in response.

"we talked about this briefly, but i really wanna know how you felt about the party. you didn't look like you enjoyed it at all." and it wasn't because yeosang nor grace were there.

you swallow, unprepared for the topic to make it back around, but answering with honesty to the best of your ability; just slightly leaving out what really shattered your confidence that night.

"it's just hard for me in general to really enjoy myself in that kind of setting." though you tried and was having some fun, until you weren't.

"i understand, and i appreciate you for trying. i just still feel bad for pulling you along when it was clearly out of your comfort zone, so i have to make sure."

it's the way he speaks and acts, always asking about you and caring about your wellbeing more than he should--that makes it hard to want to be upset when he doesn't want you to do the same in return.

when he closes himself off, always with the invisible barrier you shouldn't cross because he doesn't wanna tell you more than what you should know.

"it's just more so i also didn't really know anyone there. everyone else were occupied, and you were uh... talking to your friend," you say, mumbling the last part because you think you might be pushing it, but san doesn't seem fazed. he just shifts in his spot.

"yeah," he answers coolly, "hard to get her to stop talking once she starts." a light smile curls up at his lips and you try to not let it bother you.

but it's like he can read your thoughts; knows exactly the concerns running through your head and the apprehension overtaking your face when he spits the next sentence, "there's nothing going on between us, if that's what you're wondering. when i said she's a friend, i mean it."

and you don't know whether to be relieved or embarrassed he knows you a little too well.

"though she did like me at one point, that's the past," he adds, searching you for any signs of a reaction, and he gets one he also knows too well.

when your lips goes into a pout and your eyes swell with a type of curioisity in them, eager to poke your nose where it doesn't belong.

"and did you... like her back?" you ask timidly, knowing it isn't your ground but unable to help it.

san's snicker leaves you in confusion, and even more when he just shrugs.

"we're better off as friends. that's what matters."

the answer doesn't lessen the knot in your stomach nor does it bring you any form of relief, even if san doesn't particularly owe you any.

"what's with the face?" his voice snaps you out of your thought and to puppy eyes and blinking lashes staring right back almost mocking you as if he knows exactly what's making you so upset right now.

"nothing," you say, faking a smile. "just thinking."

but there's a shift in atmosphere again, whether you and san wanna acknowledge it or not. something tense that makes you a little on edge, but in a way different from before--the food and drinks and being parked in a public space forgotten at this point.

"have you ever been in a relationship before?" he asks abruptly, the question making you swallow the tension as you try your best to keep the composure.

"i've been in one," you answer, not disappointing him when you return the question, "how about you?"

he smirks, one eyebrow raising when he simply says, "two."

"two?" you repeat, voice raising like you don't believe it. "you look like you'd have a lot more experience."

the comment makes him laugh, his body falling and head thumping against the car seat while his gaze never leaves you.

"what makes you think that?" he says, the smirk once again creeping to his lips as he stares at you in amusement, the scene and tension having switched up so fast, you don't even remember when it ever felt like this in the presence of san.

when all friendliness and formality were gone and replaced by something else that makes you wanna be bolder and get closer to him.

you shrug lightly. "guess it's the way you carry yourself." that makes it so hard to believe.

"either way, if i'm gonna get into a relationship with someone, i have to know them well first and i'd have to be sure it's something i want."

you nod in agreement, though san never particularly striked you as the type to think so much about these kind of things... but again, you feel he's also just barely letting you into a certain part of him he haven't ever.

"that's fair. i would agree," you say, only to a chuckle from him that makes you squint in confusion. "what?"

both his hands are now behind his head and he's looking so entertained for whatever reason.

"you just seem more like the kind to go out of your way to avoid any romantic interactions," he says, giggling after with dimples you can't even admire because you're more flustered by the comment.

"it's more like... i find those things hard unless i'm attracted to someone," you clarify even if you know he's right to an extent, "and it's not often i am attracted to someone, so."

and how funny that when you finally are, he's sitting right across from you with a smirk and unaware of how he's making you feel just being in the same perimeter--or so you think.

"the first guy i was with, i always found intimacy difficult... especially kissing," you add, unsure if you're stepping over the line but you and san are old enough for this.

you're sure he even enjoys it, if the mirth in his eyes and the widest smile on his face says anything.

"maybe you didn't like him that much?" he suggests, tone thrilled like it's some form of fun guessing game. "or he was probably just a sloppy kisser."

"no, like... he was good but i was the one who couldn't kiss for shit," you defend your ex's name, feeling like you have to because he wasn't a bad guy.

"i see," he mumbles, the smirk settling into a soft smile. "at least it was enjoyable for you."

"yeah," you answer, the conversation getting so much more awkward for you. "how was your first kiss like?"

"it was okay." he was anticipating such response by how fast he replied. "it was both of our first time and i did it at the time because i really thought she was the one, but funny to think about it now."

there's a quick silence after as you just stare, the next question already at the tip of your tongue.

"and did you also thought the same for your second relationship?"

he nods to it, gaze now locking yours right back and the even longer silence makes you think he's gonna kiss you. with only the two of you in the car and the moon high in the sky, it's the perfect setup.

but instead, he takes you back to the dorms after moving on and forgetting about the whole conversation and drops you off with a sweet and friendly smile.

he doesn't kiss you. not this time or any others when he could've.

even if it would've been nice if he did. if he was sure it was something he wanted, and that you were the one. but it's okay, because you've convinced yourself that being with him is enough.

happy and content he still sends good morning texts, and still wants to hang out once in a while. that he still comments under your instagram posts that happens once in a blue moon, and he still sends you stupid memes.

because you're just the slightest afraid that if you try pushing your feelings onto him, he might not wanna do any of those things anymore.

so you keep him close; even if not in the way you really want, he's still beside you. that's what matters.

"he likes you, y/n!" grace preaches while pacing back and forth.

you were just enjoying your day off and with a book in your hand when your roommate and best friend came back from a date--with the first thing on her mind somehow being you and san.

"he doesn't," you answer, annoyed at this point and already having put down the book after losing your place at least three times due to her.

"no." she pouts and plops down on her bed facing you. "i've seen the way he looks and act around you. my instinct has a 90% accuracy."

seen how san's eyes would always linger on you whenever you're in the room, and having caught the smiles that would usually decorate his lips when you do something clumsy or endearing.

going above and beyond to do and say things that if yeosang was to do and say to another girl, she'd drag him by the ear and make him sleep outside.

but the statement's only met with an eyeroll from you.

"your instinct said san and ashley were fucking and they weren't, so?"

"that was the other 10%," your friend yaps, calming one second after. "i want you to just trust me on this one. if he doesn't like you, he wouldn't do what he does for you."

but you just can't help but to grow more irritated even if it's done out of good intentions. you're already frustrated and confused and grace isn't helping.

"maybe because he's just a nice person in general," you tell her, never having witnessed san be rude and unkind to anyone ever.

your friend sighs, her shoulders dropping but still wanting to encourage and give you some form of hopes, because she knows how much you like san. how much you wish he'd ask you out.

"he might be just as scared of rejection or messing up the friendship," she says, then pauses because it's gonna be out of your comfort zone but you have to try. "why don't you ask him out?"

your eyes go wide and you cringe at even the thought of it, telling your friend she's crazy for even thinking of it.

san doesn't like you and you're sure of that.

if he did, he probably would've told you by now, and he would've kissed you all those times when he had the chance. when it was just you and him in his car, in your dorm room, and back at the restaurant.

so you didn't plan on telling him, because you didn't think you could like san even more than you already did.

like him so much to the point that keeping it in was actually painful; when it felt like the only form of relief was to tell him.

at least not until spring again.

"what are you doing?" san's voice pulls your eyes from the sketch and to his face as he stares at you amusingly, your posture incredibly funny to him since you're trying to hide what you're working on.

feet planted on the cushion of the cafe's chair and elbows on your knees with your sketchbook just below your eyes, gawking and peeking at him for the last hour or so.

"i'm making art," you tell him, a giggle bubbling out after that san shakes his head to.

spring has returned. the petals once again fallen from the cherry blossom trees with the wind carrying it away in the streets as the cold chill from winter quiets down even if you still shiver and need a sweater.

you and san are seated at the same table in the corner and he's currently watching the spring show, his eyes following lone petals when they're still attached to the root until they become nothing but scatters on the streets.

his grey hoodie and sharp features a sight to see, especially when it's next to a big glass window with a view to match, though you think san is more beautiful. more than any spring blossoms or art.

feelings of butterflies and a fast heartbeat now replaced by something else--not that you still don't get them once in a while, but everything feels more natural. comfortable.

you find yourself caring for him in ways you usually didn't before. whether he ate, slept, or is genuinely feeling okay--you wanna know and hear all about it.

when he's happy, you're happy with him. but when he's sad or dejected, you also can't help but to feel the same. the last couple of months a ride of events that really tested just how strong the bond and friendship between you and san really is; never would you have predicted you'd grow to care so much about anyone else besides yeosang and grace.

"you shouldn't really be doodling. instead, use the time wisely to really think about what you wanna submit for the exhibition," he says, arms now crossed and eyes away from the window.

"don't worry. i already got an idea," you assure, a playful smile on your lips.

among other things san has helped you with, he was the biggest advocator in you entering the student art exhibition that will be taking place shortly just after the end of the semester.

you've always felt self conscious putting your work out, always choosing and picking carefully even when it came to posting on social media. and even then, your account is privated so only those close to you could see.

art is the only thing you've ever felt truly good at, letting your creations define you more than necessarry, and you're so afraid you'll be told one day that what you do and love isn't good enough.

"i want to but i'm also really not sure," you say, in the peace of the library with san across; the distress and conflict on your face as clear as day.

"why not?" san frowns. "i've seen your work. they're good enough to go in a museum, y/n."

the compliment makes you roll your eyes the same time you let out a scoff. "you're just saying that."

he shakes his head. "i'm so forreal. you're the best artist i know."

"i'm the only artist you know."

"that's not true. i also know uh... leonardo da vinci."

you laugh at that. "but i don't have an artwork worth at least 800 million, so unfortunately i am not better."

"i really don't think the mona lisa's all that great. any of your work would blow it out of the water easy."

there's a second of silence before you start laughing again, prompting san to giggle in return, but he starts, "i'm serious. you should really do it. plus, you'll be graduating soon. i think it's a great opportunity."

"when is it again?" he ask.

"june the 18th," you say, placing your sketchbook and pen down. "you'll be there, right?"

he nods at first, a simple smile settling on him. "of course," he answers, "i'll be there. i promise."

and as the day goes on, sitting in the comfort of the cafe with san as you continue the sketch you started and he occasionally switches between sipping his coffee and the assignment on his laptop, it gets harder to ignore the even stranger feeling that encloses you almost completely.

when the blooming of flowers and trees are fresh, along with the soft, gentle breeze of spring--you think you might be in love with san.

it seemed like it was just yesterday that you were talking graduation with yeosang and grace, but not even a year later, it's become a reality with your cap and gown sitting on your bed and the graduation ceremony merely a week away.

you think, even if with barely any plans after but to move back with your father and see where life takes you, you're still excited.

excited for the next step and for what's to come.

but san on the other hand, never seems too thrilled whenever you bring it up.

you know him to be an open person, always willing to talk about anything and everything; not a single mean bone in this man, except when it comes to talking about himself.

who he really is and who he wants to be after... he never wants to talk about it, so you try to not push it. be understanding and figure that maybe he isn't ready, yet.

that when he wants to tell you and wants you to know, he will.

but it's been a year since you've known him, and with each passing day, what you feel for him only grows gradually; so much that being friends just doesn't cut it anymore.

the feeling of love both exciting but also suffocating, you didn't even know.

you don't mind being friends with him, but staying that way means stopping what could be, and for some reason, the confidence that san feels the same also grows with every moment spent with him.

you didn't use to think so. dismissed grace's "instinct" and all that, chalking it up to san's natural personality to be kind and treat everyone with respect. but you started to see what she was talking about a while ago. you'd like to believe it.

how he's been a lot more touchy and sentimental these past few days; a look always in his eyes like apprehension that you can't quite read into but know something's on his mind. like he wanna say and tell you about it but can't.

then when he texts you the day just before graduation, asking if you two can talk later on in the evening, you certainly feel like this is it.

that he didn't do all of those things for you just to be nice or to be a friend. why else would he had asked to talk if it isn't something significant that he couldn't annouce through text?

you enter san's car that evening with a beating heart and a tight stomach, feeling so nervous and sick, you feel the food you ate just an hour ago coming back up.

and though it's a scene you're all too familiar with--you and san in the parking lot of the university's dorm building, there's an air in tonight's meeting you can't quite gauge.

something tense that makes the both of you sit in silence for a few seconds too long, nervousness gnawing at you once more while you start to doubt if the same is what's causing the current discomfort on san's face.

"hey," you start, trying to lighten the atmosphere that has gotten so awkward already, and you haven't even confessed. "how has your day been?"

he finally lifts his head up to look at you, his hands off the steering wheel and settling on his lap as he try to smile forcefully, you can tell.

"it was good, yeah..." he answers, tone dull and tired, you wonder if maybe he didn't get enough sleep. "you?" he asks in return but it doesn't sound like any other times.

like he didn't ask because he's genuinely interested, but because he has to.

"it was also good. yeah..."

you swallow down the knot in your throat, another long silence engulfing the car as you and san listen to footsteps and chitters of students having just arrived.

"i have something to tell you," you both say and turn to each other at the same time, the scary coincidence of the timing has both your eyes wide as echoes of giggles let loose temporarily.

despite the unpredictability of the other person and the possible turmoil after, you both can laugh for now.

"you go first," he says, nodding his chin your direction and sitting with a beating heart just a tad lower than yours that to you, fills your ears and the entire car.

you take a deep breath, your fingers naturally finding each other in moments of distress and finally uttering the words you've been wanting to tell him for a few months now.

"san, w-we've known each other for about a year now and i know this might be dramatic of me, b-but you're probably the best thing to happen to me," you speak so fast, another habit of yours when under pressure, barely looking him in the eyes to even notice the look in them, "and, and... i think what i wanna say is i like you. i really really like you and i wanna tell you that."

and when you finally level his eyes again, so relieved it's out now, but when you only see the cold, indifferent reaction, nothing like you predicted, you fear the worst.

and when san breaks your heart for the first time, you know you messed up majorly.

"i'm sorry," he mumbles, almost murmuring and keeps his head down as if ashamed to say such thing, "really really sorry."

messed up by letting feelings get in the way of a wonderful friendship with a wonderful person, and let his act of kindness get to your head because how could san ever possibly feel the same?

"no. i'm sorry," you say, volume barely above a whisper and voice between crying and staying strong in front of him. "i-i shouldn't have said that."

"no. it's okay. don't feel bad," he tries assuring in his usual calm and collected tone, but even he knows you don't believe him. but he means it, because he has way more to feel bad and be sorry for. "it's just..."

he can hardly look you in the eyes, your expression of heartbreak and guilt something he should be going through instead.

"i'm gonna be leaving in two days."

it suddenly feels like the world stopped at the drop of those words. your chest constricting and your breath hard to catch, the rejection nothing compared to the realization.

the hard reality that you're gonna be losing san. one moment as if he's right in front of you, you could almost grab him, and the next he's slipping right out of your grasp. just like that.

loving someone is such a horrible, awful feeling.

"w-where to?" you ask, the crack in your voice makes san wince and he can't wait for the night to be over with. for him, and for you.

"seoul, south korea," he answers lowly, pausing before adding, "that's what i wanted to tell you tonight."

and suddenly, everything makes sense. like having found pieces of puzzles you couldn't ever; it all hits you at once.

the first time you met him.

“i went into it because the people around me said i was good at it,” he says, a bit unfazed and dull. “that’s pretty much it, i guess.” and ending it with a smile when he catches your gaze again.

“but do you enjoy it?”

there’s a quick silence and san tilts his head slightly, quirking his lips to the side before answering.

“it’s not bad. if anything, it’s been easy, so i’m glad for that at least.”

you nod, smiling in return.

“that’s good. only one more year and we’ll be done.”

"yeah," he says, letting out a loose chuckle after. "i can't wait. there's something i want to do after, but for now, we'll have to see what happens."

the party.

“cute, isn’t he?” she turns to you, her gaze burning and making you feel small on the spot. her confidence something she walks with proudly and with an aura you hate yourself for even admiring. “but unfortunately a hard one to tie down.”

and all those times he'd dodge your questions and never want to answer anything concerning what it is he actually wants to do, or even how he grew up.

simply because san never planned to stay.

he was always meant to go after... even if he got to know you. he never wanted to be anything more with you.

you can't help the sense of betrayal that blooms from deep within, never wanting to have any ill feelings toward san but the hurt is so strong, you don't remember a time in your life you've ever felt this way before.

being mislead for so long and kept hidden in the dark. but even then, you can't seem to bring yourself to hate him.

a tear pricks your eye and you attempt to wipe it away, voice hoarse when you speak again, "that's what you always wanted to do, right?"

san just nods, unable to see him clearly through the tears multiplying and his gaze that has turned away.

"hey," you say, a soft call that san responds to, his fox eyes staring back that you're gonna miss. "i hope it goes well." you smile, a mixture of bitter and sweet.

"i know it will," you say once more, swallowing the knot dying in your throat and searching san for any reactions.

maybe you don't know who he was before or who he's gonna be after, but you know him right now. the boy you met a year ago and made you feel so many things; butterflies down to heartbreak--who, you're still so madly in love with, you don't even have it in you to wish him anything but well.

why would you wanna keep him in the small palms of your hands when there's a world out there much bigger waiting for him. a world that could make him so much happier and content.

you would never be upset about that.

when it looks like san isn't gonna say anything, his mind continuously in thought but lips unable replicate, you're the one to break the tension yet again, figuring he just needs time.

even if he's had time... to prepare all of this and for what he was gonna say, yet he's drawing nothing but blanks in the actual presence of you.

"i should uh, i should probably go," you announce when the silence sits for too long. "graduation is tomorrow and grace wants to wake up early in preparation."

he nods just as he's done cowardly before.

"i'll see you there?" your voice squeaks slightly for the first time tonight; some kind of hope and excitement in them.

you don't know whether he nods or hum, or if he even answers. just a vagueness to his expression that you take for a yes, because why wouldn't he be.

but if you knew at the time, that when you go to search for the familiar head of black in the crowd during the ceremony and you wouldn't find him, you would have said more

if you knew that even during the celebration after; a restaurant across the streets your friends wanted to go to, that he still isn't gonna come, you would've stayed longer last night.

tell him everything and wish him all the good in the world... if you knew that was the last time you would see him.

act like you're not constantly checking the door of the restaurant in hope he'd show up even for one last time so you won't feel so dejected and have all of yeosang, grace, and wooyoung look at you with pity.

say you're just tired and continue acting like your heart didn't do a flip at the drop of his name when yunho asks about his whereabouts and wooyoung tells the group he's busy packing for tomorrow morning.

none of them seem to be aware he was leaving, besides wooyoung and your friends (for obvious reasons).

hold back your tears and attempt to not crack when you finally get wooyoung to yourself, telling him if he could give something to san.

something you've been planning to for a while but wanted to wait till it was finished, and when it was, you kind of forgot about it. until suddenly.

assure wooyoung it's okay when he tells you he's told san on plenty of occasions he needed to let you know.

and finally, when you get back to the dorms, you allow yourself to cry in grace's arms but also assuring her you're gonna be okay and she doesn't need to stay up with you

when it's past midnight, hugging your knees on edge of your bed in the dark watching as the trees sways outside the window, you wonder if this was how your uncle and mother felt.

why your uncle decided to move halfway across the country and leave everything he knew behind just for love, and why your mother still married your father despite everything against them.

a part of you finally starting to understand all the sacrifices and compromises yeosang and grace makes.

love is so strange.

you give into the events of today and curl up in bed, pulling the blanket over and closing your eyes.

before the blooming of flowers and trees, and the soft, gentle breeze of spring could even pass, san leaves you.

a month later

"don't be so nervous. you look great."

grace turns you by the shoulders to the mirror and you can hardly recognize yourself. the short black satin dress hugging your body and skin adorned in jewelries that doesn't even belong to you, nor are the heels on your feet.

you really didn't even think you'd be going, let alone have your work accepted for the exhibition among hundreds of other submissions.

have your work out in the open and on display for people other than your friends to see and judge. it's nerve-racking, but grace think you should at least dress for the occasion.

"yeosang said he'll be here in 15," she tells you.

you're nervous just sitting around, and even more so on the way to the gallery, the awful music yeosang has blasting not helping a bit.

"cookie points to whoever finds y/n's art first," grace says from the front, her lips turning upward as she challenges her boyfriend.

"that's easy. we can probably see the watercolor and blue from a mile away," he teases, prompting grace to smack him lightly by the arm; his comment making a scoff leave your mouth.

they don't know what you submitted. you didn't want them to, saying you wanted to really surprise them and get an honest opinion as it was the piece you probably took the longest on and put the most thoughts to.

the arrival doesn't make you feel any better, more cars than you predicted lined up at the front and in the parking lot, you have to take a deep breath.

"hey," yeosang says, his head peeking over the car seat with a small smile, "tonight's gonna be great. you go in there and get familiar with everyone and we'll meet you soon?"

you nod, unbuckling your seatbelt and undoing the wrinkles on your dress, ready to head out.

"good luck!" grace squeals just before you're out the car, waving to your friends as they grow further away to find parking.

you've been here a couple times before but never for your own work, of course. making way inside and glad that the first face you see is one of your professors from a class you had, his smile welcoming and you keep yourself close until it's time for the showcase, your natural tendency to stick close to people you know.

you finally spot your friends halfway into it, the two shamelessly standing in front of your work and shooting you looks they know is gonna make you flush in embarrassment.

the night goes on and that feeling of nervousness and anxiety easing the more other students also talk to you and compliments your work with you doing the same in return because everyone here is truly talented.

each and every artwork telling a different story and probably held closely by the artists themselves.

"see! that wasn't so bad," grace says, having ran to you the second you're free from the circle of students and professors, pushing you playfully by the shoulder and getting a giggle in response.

"i guess so."

"by the way, love the art!" she squeaks, so much happier and excited than you.

"and it definitely wasn't because your name was written on top that we knew, but your style is just too distinct," yeosang adds, "only thing different this time is it's pink."

you smile, the process of having to come up with something you'll be okay with everyone else seeing all coming back. how, it took a while, but once you knew, you wanted it to be as perfect as possible.

the pink cherry blossom tree next to a body of lake and the field next to it decorated in countless dandelions, all painted in the style you're best at--the watercolor really bringing life to the picture.

it's not often you can say you're proud of your own creations, but you can say you really like this one.

"well thanks, guys," you tell them, a laugh bubbling out at the end. "really appreciate you two coming out tonight."

"well, duh." grace rolls her eyes dramatically, her lips turning to a smile after. "we know this means a lot to you."

"for sure," yeosang says, checking the surrounding briefly before continuing, "you should probably finish up things here with everyone else first. me and grace are gonna head out to a shop nearby and we'll come pick you up when you're ready?"

"yeah. i probably should." because seeing the rest of the students and professors stuck in conversations, it doesn't seem right to just up and leave. you need a proper farewell at least. "i'll let you guys know."

you spend the next couple of minutes out of courtesy attempting to talk to anyone you could until the place mostly start clearing of visitors.

saying one last farewell to the professor you're most familiar with, you turn a corner to head out with the plan to call yeosang when you're stopped in your track by a figure suddenly emerging from the walls and now in your way.

when you meet his gaze and take in the fact he's dressed for the occasion, the suit he's wearing clad onto his body too perfectly (though when does he not look good in anything), you almost want to be angry it looks like he planned to come here tonight.

"san..." his name falls off your lips. a name you haven't said since a month ago and didn't plan to any time sooner.

"hey," he greets, awkwardly and quietly, his hands shoved into the pockets of his suit pants that shows off his legs you didn't even realize were so long.

but you're mostly just thinking and wondering why he's here. he isn't supposed to be here. he left a month ago to go chase his dreams, so why is he all of sudden standing in front of you in such a small gallery.

"w-what are you doing here?" you ask, no anger or pain in your voice though he thinks there should be; only curiosity the way you always sound.

"i promise i'd come, remember?"

“when is it again?” he ask.

“june the 18th,” you say, placing your sketchbook and pen down. “you’ll be there, right?”

he nods at first, a simple smile settling on him. “of course,” he answers, “i’ll be there. i promise.”

he did. but he also left.

you feel you might be going crazy, like this is all a dream and he's only a figment of your imagination because he wouldn't come back just for this. not for you.

"san," you say, a knot on the horizon, "you left. you left a month ago." like you have to remind him of the fact as if speaking to a ghost.

"i know i did..." he hangs his head in shame and you can only stare, the situation so unreal, you wanna try slapping yourself to see if you'll actually wake up. "and i want to apologize for doing so."

such words bringing upon a web of emotions, both you and san still standing smack in the middle of the public gallery and you're trying to keep your composure.

heck, you're still trying to process the fact he's really here.

"can we talk about this outside?" you say, voice soft and timid, alluding to the current scene that san takes a hint to. the walk out the most quiet and awkward as you both try finding some form of seating, settling on a bench not too far from from the entrance.

a couple seconds that feels like an entire minute passes before you start again, san's heartbeat loud and hammering from beside you.

"you don't have to apologize. you went after your heart, why would i be mad about that?" you mumble, but the volume still loud in the quiet night, the air of spring about to be summer soon.

san exhales in preparation, his chest rising and falling to what he knew you were already gonna say because that's just how you are. all of what makes you so likeable and easy to fall for. though right now, he doesn't need forgiveness or even an ounce of your kindness.

he doesn't deserve any of it.

"because i lied to you," he breaks it, straight and clear, and the reminder throwing you back to the month before that you wanted to forget so bad.

you don't wanna cry and you didn't plan to cry tonight but the tears you're currently trying to blink away says otherwise.

"you didn't lie... you just kept things from me," you try justifying, part of it to console your own self. because you'd like to think that though san omitted details, he never said anything that wasn't true.

"and that makes it any better?"

there's a quick, uncomfortable silence before you speak, eyes down on your lap. "i'd like to think so."

it would be a lie if you say you don't think back to that night often. the conversation and then the awful realization in the car that gave you one of the most most awful case of a heartbreak. nothing in comparison to your mother's death, but a different kind for a different lesson.

how, you've tried so hard to not linger because the longer you did, the more sick it made you, creating doubts in your head that you were certain could never be answered because san left.

but you do think about it. if san simply struck up a friendship with you and did everything he did knowing you were exactly the kind he could never develop romantic feelings for.

that the reason he never seemed to really want any of that, or even gave into advances from other girls was only because he was leaving. but if he wasn't, would he have given any of them a chance? would he have given ashley a chance?

but you don't really wanna ask him any of that.

"so, are you visiting, or? what really brings you here?" because you don't believe that he came back just for this. just for you.

he told you leaving was what he always wanted to do, and now he's suddenly back here, and you can't think of any good enough reasons to do so only after a month of being gone.

he takes a deep breath and for the first time after sitting down, you turn and look at him, even if he's avoiding your gaze to look ahead into nothingness.

"you know, i probably moved more in the span of 4 years than you have in your lifetime," he speaks, face in eternal concentration, you just wanna listen. "i don't know. it's complicated i guess... but it was difficult to really feel like i belonged anywhere." he shrugs, the same time the bittersweet smile at the corner of his lips is visible.

"wasn't ever that close to my family members and i try to not stick with the same people for too long. ashley and especially wooyoung were just more persistent than your average person." he pauses, then continues almost hesistantly, "because i knew if i did, i'd end up hurting them."

and how funny and hypocritical of him because you're the person he ended up hurting the most. the one he completely shut out and gave no closure to, because he didn't think he'd grow so attached to you in the matter of just a year.

"but that's just how it works, right? there are things you have to sacrifice in order to find happiness," you say, at this point still trying to excuse his actions although you still remember feeling hurt and betrayed not that long ago.

"but i wasn't happy over there." he squeezes his eyes shut and his lips curl together in frustration, as if trying to get through you because you're failing to understand the point. "i came back because i was the happiest while i was here. i came back for you."

he knows it's selfish. how beyond hurt you must've felt when he left, and now all of a sudden showing up asking for a chance, the turmoil of mixed emotions you're probably going through at the confession.

just a month ago, he literally ghosted you. and just a few months before that, he made you think he was gonna kiss you... when it was not kissing you that he had a hard time with.

he wanted it be as quick and painless as possible, and kissing you was only gonna do the complete opposite. if he kissed you, he would've wanted to stay. but given how everything turned out, he should've just not pushed the friendship at all.

should've never texted you, never invited you out, and he especially should've never talked to you to start with. but again, he's a bit selfish by nature and couldn't help but to be intrigued by you when he shouldn't have.

but he especially shouldn't have opened the door to wooyoung that night of the graduation, still able to recall the exact outfit he was wearing as the boy glared at him with a certain look of disapproval before he could even say a word.

"y/n asked me to give you this," wooyoung says, sounding tired from the day or maybe he's still just mad at san and doesn't really wanna talk.

san sighs and hesistantly takes the pink envelope, wooyoung's gaze burning into his before the boy says his final farewell.

"you know, you're really an asshole."

and it was almost like wooyoung showed up at 1 in the morning after a long day just to give it to san out of spite in hope he'll feel guilty, and it worked.

because the content in it played a big part in san ultimately deciding to come back, the sketch of him that day in the cafe with his grey hoodie watching the petal shower along with a short note attached to it haunting him day and night.

Because of you, I had one of the best years of my life. I hope things are better in Seoul, and thank you truly for being the greatest inspiration - y/n

so he came back for you, and he means it... though you don't look like you believe it the slightest and he doesn't blame you. he's done nothing but fed you doubts.

he hears a hard swallow from you that he finally turns to, your eyes glossy and lashes fluttering to hide it.

"san, you shouldn't be saying things like that. you know how i feel about you," you say, sniffing due to a clogged nose because you're not doing very good at not crying.

san's scooted next to you, his leg brushing yours and hands on your jaw as you look up at him, never this close or intimate before, butterflies in your stomach that you wish wasn't there.

"it's true. i mean every word of it. i've liked you for so long, you have no idea."

he's not sure when he started liking you, his guess is probably during the summer trip. but he remembers looking forward to your texts and thinking how pretty you are and how he wanted to get closer to you, even if he shouldn't have.

"then why did you leave?" you ask, your eyes vulnerable and lips pouting that he wanna kiss and soothe.

you understand him chasing his dreams, but if he liked you; if he came back afterall, why did he leave in the first place?

"because i'm not used to staying in one place for too long." his thumbs drawing circles and tending to your cheeks. "i want to travel. i want to see the rest of the world... find a purpose in life and see what else is out there waiting for me."

you open your mouth to say something but it's like he already knew, cutting you off before you could even start doubting again, "i don't see it as having to make sacrifices in order to find happiness, more so just putting it off for the time being. the rest of the world can wait because right now, i want to be happy with you."

he can still be happy with you and achieve his other dreams when the time is right. he don't wanna have to choose one or the other when he can make both work with efforts.

"so you don't have to think about it now, but when you do, i just want you to know i like you. really really like you, and i'd love to give it a shot if you're willing. only when you're ready, of course."

and yes, the man quite literally ghosted you and broke your heart in such a short amount of notice, you could barely process it at the time. but you also can't deny the way he makes you feel.

how, whenever he's near, your stomach still feels funny and your heart wanna do flips. and with him this close, you definitely still wanna kiss him.

it's not possible to get over such a man in just a month, but you were healing slowly and ready to accept the fact you won't ever see him again. and then he comes back and is inches away from your face, telling you everything you've ever wanted to hear.

the sudden sound of your phone going off at a notification makes the both of you jump as san pulls away and clears his throat.

you quickly search your purse for your phone and see a text from yeosang on the screen.

yeosang: u ready?

"it's yeosang,'' you tell san, locking eyes with him briefly and awkwardly. "he wants to know if i'm ready to be picked up."

san nods, the air going quiet until an idea comes over. "i can take you." and when you don't answer, he tries testing if he can lighten the atmosphere even if just a bit. "i am renting the car so just don't make a mess."

but when the silence drags on and san can't read your expression, he thinks you don't want anything to do with him at this point, and rightfully so.

"yes," you say, the response picking san's head up to see a small smile you're trying to fight, "yes we can give it a try, and yes, you can give me a ride."

there's something shy but also daring in your tone, san sees the blush raising to your cheeks that brings out the widest smile from him, jumping in your arms to give you the biggest hug.

when he finally pulls away, the look of surprise on your face has him apologizing but you only shake your head with a smile.

"thank you," he whispers, "for giving me the chance. i promise i'll make it up to you."

you nod to his words, the smile still on your lips but unable to say anything due to the overwhelming (good) feelings.

then he goes to scratch the back of his head, a look of awkward and hesitant crossing him before finally saying it, "can i uh, can i kiss you?"

"yes," you actually answer, a giggle that cannot be contained leaving shortly.

and when he does kiss you, his lips just as soft and gentle as you imagined, the kiss even better than you had in your head, you're glad that your friend's instinct was right.

that san does indeed like you and everything he did wasn't just out of kindness and respect.

when you're both pulling away and indulging in a fit of laughter after and shaking your heads at the turn of events, you know he kissed you because it's something he wanted. because he thinks you might be the one.

when the blooming of flowers and trees are fading, along with the soft, gentle breeze of spring that finally passes, you're still in love with san and you're sure he feels the same way.

[starsomens]

We LOVE dad Noah here!

How about ummm, oh! A quick lil bubble of Noah going with reader and Eden to get her ears pierced? I know my parents took me as a baby maybe like 8-9 months? Ik some people have feelings about it but I personally am happy there did!

Anyway thank you start love you❤️❤️

A/N: omg so cute!! I know my mom had my ears pierced when I was around 6 to 7 months or so. Maybe a little bit younger, but my dad was definitely very upset I was crying when it happened.😭😭

Noah was holding Eden in his lap and bouncing his knee. The month old, simply just enjoying being held by her father. Noah was internally freaking out about her ears being pierced. Of course you’re both OK with her. Having earrings and logically speaking doing it now will be better for her since she won’t remember the pain. Either way it was a quick pinch and should be over in just 10 minutes.

However, on the way over to the establishment started to freak out a little bit. Knowing that the piercing would make her cry. So no he was giving options about waiting until next week or trying to find a place that numb her ear and pierce it instead.

But you were reassuring him that she would be fine and she wouldn’t even remember it after five minutes. So now you had a pouty husband to try and comfort while he was waiting in the chair as the employee was readying the needle and earrings. Of course Noah being who he was for his princess got her only the nicest and highest quality earing and piercer. Making sure to look into reviews on how they are with kids.

"Alright are we ready?" the young girl asked. Her bright smile such a contrast to her piercings and tattoos. She was just lovely to speak with as she explained the process "Alright dad, we're going to try and pierce her ears nice and quick. So I'll need to you to hold her head and make sure she doesn't move,"

Noah take the deep breath while he faces his large hand on Eden small head. Her face still not knowing what is to come and knows how was jumping out of his chest. The piercer mark a single dot on each of her loans sure that they both look even before she grabbed the needle gun. Aligning the tip of the needle on her earlobe, she says,

“ oh right, we’re gonna try to make this really fast really quick so once I’m done with this year, I’m moving right to the second one,” she reiterates she had said before “ ready? 1…..2…..3,”

And in the blink of an eye, the gun clicks as appears through her ear. It takes a second for Eden to react actually, trying to understand what had just happened as her lips starts to pout. Her little nose sniffling as a wine, and a cry starts to escape her lips. Noah’s heart broke hearing her starts to cry.

On top of that he was the one holding her head in place so that she wouldn’t move and all he wanted to do was to comfort her. And at the same time he’s never felt more rage towards someone who essentially he was paying to do this

The piercer quickly moves to the other side and pierces her ear quickly. “ Okay she’s all done, no more. I’m sorry princess” she gives an apologetic look to Noah and Eden we all know it does is turn Eden into him and comfort her. He had his signature mug shot face very upset. His baby was uncomfortable and hurting.

No one stand up from the sea, and he walks around the room, bouncing her to try and calm her down. His large hand no longer holding your head in place, but caressing the soft hair on her head as his lips kiss her forehead.

“I’m so sorry baby. I know Mommy so mean for letting the lady do that” he whispers to her and all you could do was go at him as he blamed you partially for it. Luckily you both know was Eden’s main source of calm and comfort. Now you moved to the front desk to pay for the service, eden has calmed down and her crush were reduced to small sniffles as she sucked on her finger to also calm her down.

While your card was being charged, you take a look at her earring and you were very happy with the service. She did great in Eden seem to be dealing with him much better than you had anticipated. On the other hand was still very upset.

“Babe why are you still pouting? She’s just fine”

“ Because look at her face, her nose is all red and look at her cheeks. Her eyes are red and watery still” no it was very emotional when it came to his precious little princess. He couldn’t blame him since he felt the same way. But you knew that the pain for this was temporary and she wouldn’t remember it at all by the next day. Just like when you had taken her to the doctor to get her shot after she was born.

While you walk to the car hand-in-hand, no scene to forgive you a bit more as Eden returns to her normal self. As he put her into the car seat, he takes a look at her earrings and tilts his head a bit.

“Look at my princess. Did daddy get you was pretty earrings?” he uses his baby voice with her. “Looking so beautiful, just like Mama”

He then turned to you planted a kiss on your nose. As he closes the door, he opens the passenger door for you to get into

“Oh? I thought it was my fault for letting the mean, lady pierce her ears,” you pouted at him as he crossed your arms, reiterating his own words back to him

“ maybe it wasn’t completely your fault you were right she did calm down after a while. And I guess…. You’re right she won’t remember it later on in life.”

You take a hold of his jaw gently and shake his head slightly “AWWHH look at my man admitting that he’s wrong,”

“Wrong? No, I did not say I was wrong. I still think that piercer was a bitch for making her cry,”

“Noah that’s her job, Eden was going to cry either way!” You giggle as you climb into the car

“Yeah yeah, I won’t leave a bad review” he chuckled closing the door

“Noah don’t you dare!” your muffled voice, comes from inside the car as he rounds the front and gets into the driver seat. He completely ignores what you say turns to Eden and put his hand into her car seat and tickles her little belly

“Now who wants ice cream?!” Wanting to reward her for being such a brave girl

“ oh yeah, that’s right just change the subject,” crossing your arms

“ keep that attitude up and I’ll make sure to use my ice cream for something else” he smirks at you as he turns on the car and scans your body from top to bottom

“…..fine I want my usual order and you better know it or you won’t be using your ice cream for anything” she knew what you were talking about you hear Eden giggle in the back of the car

「✨Taglist✨」 @lilhobgobbler @vir-tual @tdopomymind @concretenoah @misspygmypie @lust-for-sacher @thescarlettvvitch @cind6547 @itsmrsfuentes @lma1986 @darling-millicent-aubrey @daylightlvrs @artificialbreezy @alittleblackmagic @cookiesupplier @sprokat @rafeyybabey

[sammy-halpert]

"That's just cute now"

Author note: I just haven't seen a new fanfic for ages, so here you go!

Warnings: some cursing, rest is pure fluff <3

You and Wilbur are friends since around four years and have moved in together a year ago. It was very common for Wilbur to be either by his computer all day or with his band, but he still uses every break he has to spend it with you, but obviously he doesn't tell you that and makes you belive he has some breaks alone.

You've had a crush on him the day you saw him. His tlal figure towering over you, his soft presence, his little dirty jokes and the British accent were really something for you. The crush had become so big, you noitice everything. You noitice if he has a new piece of clothing, if there is a new picture in his phone case, even if he gets the smallest paper cut you find out.

But again it felt like he just sees you as a close friend. One time you and him had been watching a movie and he had held you, cuddling you. Of course, he was tired and everything. The next few days it felt like he was ignoring you, avoiding eye contact... blushing?

Wilbur left to record a new sorry boys video, till 7pm, currently it's 6:21pm. Cuddled up in your bed, wearing a t-shirt as you are scrolling on your phone, back faced to the bedroom door. Lovejoy is playing in your headphones and the sound of some videos as you scroll by.

After a little but you come across an edit of a certain someone... (I'll add the video you saw because I am very fucking delusional and I need as much detail in everything possible :D)

'Oh fuck' You thought. Being attracted to him and then seeing these videos made you want to kick your legs and giggle like a high-school girl. You really love this man more than you thought. The next thing you know, you find yourself on a rabbit hole on Tik tok and watching the edits of him, saving them one by one and putting them into an photo album of him.

You've been collecting pictures of him since years, taking some yourself and others from the Internet. It feels to weird have so many pictures of your best friend and admiring them every time you couldn't sleep, but you couldn't help it.

After a while of collecting the videos you take your time and start to look at every single video or photo in the album, zoning out a couple times to think of how to confess to him. You know it's the best thing to just tell him straight up, but you had five worries.

What if he says that he doesn't like you back ? That will be the most awkward friendship ever.

Courage. You don't have it when it comes to Wilbur and confessing.

The 'Oh no I'm gonna fuck this up so bad' feeling the second you try to talk to him about it.

He misunderstands you. What if he thinks you said something else? You already had mustered up all your courage and he didn't understand it. No thank you, another time.

What if he immediately ends the friendship? What if he doesn't want to live with someone who has a huge crush on him? Yeah no, not taking that risk.

You are so lost in a trance you don't hear the front door open. The pictures of him just make you feel like you're on a cloud and turn your eyes into hearts. You are indeed hear over heels for him.

"(Name) I'm back!" Wilbur shouted from the front door as he take soft his shoes and jaket. He stops as you don't answer. "(Name)?" He shouted and looked into the direction of your room. He frowns as worry swarms over him. Did something bad happen to you. He hurries and throws his shoes into the corner instead of carefully putting them there.

Headphones still in use and you are still lost in the pictures. You can't get enough of his looks. The pictures really had something and you didn't noitice his steps or shouts of your name.

Wilbur opens your bedroom door without even knocking, too worried. "(Name)?" He sees you on the bed and mentally sighs relifed. You haven't noiticed him yet, and he knows. An idea gets into his mind and he silently sneaks to your bed, your bsck still facing him and the door. He was about to give you a tickle attack before he saw what you are doing. You are... Looking at images of him, and edits? He watches you swipe in the galleries and they never seemed to stop.

A smile creeps up on his face. You like him back?! He couldn't belive it. He was glad he doesn't have to isolate himself anymore after they cuddle because he needs to recharge the act of not liking you that way. But he won't need the act anymore.

Instead of tickling you, he lays down by your side and spoons you, arms wrapping around your waist and a face nuzzled into your neck, a familiar scent entering your nose.

You quickly turn your phone off in hopes he didn't see anything and take off your headphones. "Oh- hi Will. I didn't hear you" You mumble, blushing. Usually you never cuddle expect for when watching movies. "Mmh... I know" He hummed into your neck.

Spooning isn't your favourite cuddling position so you turn around and nuzzle onto him, head resting on his chest. He pulls you closer and caresses your hair.

What is going on? He is never that affectionate. Like never. Not even while watching movies. Did something happen?

"I see you've spent your time missing me?" You could hear the smile in his voice as clear as day, his hand now resting on your arm, thumb strocking you. "What?" It came out of your mouth without thinking any further and a chuckle moves his chest.

"I mean, you must have missed me a lot that you didn't even hear me come home, because you were too busy staring at my photos." HE SAW THAT?! Now that's where embarrassment becomes cringing. Oh please just make him think you are playing a prank on him, but he knows you're not that big of a prankster. The furthest you go is make him say 'Ben Dover.'

"I was cleaning up my gallery" You mumble and bury your face into his chest. This is so embarrassing. It seems he's catching into that crush of yours, but he seems very cool with it.

"That's just cute now" He mumbles under his breath with a soft chuckle. "(Name). I know that if you have more than eighr pictures of the same guy in a row in your gallery, you are simpinggg" He says in a teasing tone but he was dead serious. "You wanna say I have a crush on you?" You scoff, trying your best to make it seem like you find it funny that he's apperantly so wrong.

Wilbur sighs. "You won't say it so I will." A soft hand comes up from your arm and gently pushes you s bit away so you can look at him without breaking your neck and then comes to your chin, tilting it up to look at him. Then he comes up close, his nose only an inch from you." I love you. Not bestie way. The romantic way." He leans in but centimeters befor your lips he stops. Puppy eyes look into yours and you feel his breath again your lips as he asks in a whisper. "May I? Please"

You know Wilbur is a huge gentle man, so it wasn't a big suprise he asked for concent and to be honest, you liked it a lot. A nod from you was all it took and his lips are now pressed against yours. The hand on your chin moves up to your cheek as the other tone is tucked under you and on your back.

Butterflies fill both of your stomach's as your lips move rhythmically against each other. After a moment or two he pulls away and looks at you with this familiar look in his eyes. Before this you always saw those eyes as his normal rest look, but now you realise, it was a look of love. He had looked at you so many times with this look you thought it was his rest look, but his actual resting face was around his other friends. Around you, he's the softest softie you'll ever know.

An adorable smile curls his lips and you couldn't help but smile back. He holds you close and you wrap your ams around him aswell, cuddling onto his warm and soft presence.

"You're mine now, (Name)"

"Gladly"

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Taglist:

@ogelizasoot

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[fearlessreid]

Bad Idea, right?

a/n: yeah yeah steve won the poll, enjoy.

pairing: steve harrington x reader

summary: you and king steve have been broken up for 6 months, will that distaste you feel for him manifest into sexual tension when you see him at a party?

warnings: SMUT 18+. swearing. unprotected sex (pls wrap it up, especially with your ex) piv sex

2K words (not proofread)

obv based off of olivia’s song

Six months ago I broke up with ‘king steve’, he would tell you that it's because there was a ‘lack of chemistry’ which we all know is a lie, the real reason is because all he could care about was partying and his stupid, stupid hair.

Im sitting at my vanity applying lip gloss, getting ready for another one of carol perkins end of year summer kickoff parties, it's honestly just an excuse for the jocks to hook up with the band geeks and then blame it on the alcohol.

“Okay so Tommy is going to be there, despite it being carols party and they broke up right after prom” my best friend, heather rants. I nod my head and continue applying my makeup. Heather continues “But Tommy told me to keep an eye out for him so I think he wants to hook up and- you are so not listening”

I sigh “I am, I just have bigger things to worry about” I say and heather scoffs “right because worrying about being at a party with steve harrington for the first time in months is so important” she sasses and I roll my eyes.

“Oh please like I could give a shit about king steve and his hair that would explode if I held a lighter to it”. Heather laughs “you totally give a shit,” “nope now hand me the hairspray”

At the party, I stand by a staircase, nursing a cup of jungle juice in my hand, watching across the room as Heather has her tongue down tommys throat.

A hand taps my shoulder and I look at the culprit. Peter Marco, the cute boy from my algebra class, once upon a time, long before Steve harrington, I had a crush on peter, that crush being fizzled out by the charm of king steve.

He smiles, his dimple showing “hey, haven't seen you in a hot second” he says and i smile back, “yeah, I took a break from the whole party thing”. For the next half an hour, I talked with Peter, he's cute and he's funny, he's the type of guy I should want.

Our peaceful conversations get interrupted by a boy yelling “king steve is in the building” and everyone starts chanting and cheering. I roll my eyes and walk into the kitchen, I did not need this.

I down at least 3 more cups of jungle juice, the sugar is rotting my teeth and the alcohol is going right into my bloodstream, it's only 10:00 pm and I am completely wasted.

I walk to go use the bathroom. My head is spinning. I bump into someone and the next thing I can comprehend is their drink now on my dress, my light pink dress. I look up and his eyes burn into mine, the man of the hour, Steven William Harrington.

“You absolute idiot look what you did” I yell. I pushed past him and ended up in the second floor bathroom. I locked the door and took a wet towel to try to scrub the drink out of my dress.

There's a knock at the door. “Occupied” I called out and took a seat on the toilet seat. “Open up” Steve calls from the other side of the door. I roll my eyes “go away” I yell and go back to scrubbing at my dress.

“I brought a tide stick, let me in” he says, an undertone of annoyance. I hesitantly open the door and let him in. He comes in and closes the door.

I sit back down on the toilet seat and he bends down on his knees and tries to take out the stain with the tide stick. It doesn't work and I sigh frustratedly. “I'll pay for dry cleaning, don't get your panties in a twist”

His comment makes me scoff “you see? Comments like those are why I dumped your ass”. “You're wasted” he says and i laugh “so what”, he sighs “so i'm taking you home, I haven't drank anything tonight”

I shake my head “i'm not going anywhere with you, plus im here with heather”. Now it's steves turn to laugh “heather left with tommy like 15 minutes ago, let me take you home, no funny business, i promise”

I get into his car and we drive in silence and we pass my street “steve that was my street “what the fuck”, he smiles and shakes his head “youre parents would kill you if you showed up this sloshed, and i meant what i said, no funny business”

My eyes burn into him “fine”

I walk into the Harrington home and the memories start flooding in, the good and the bad. Steve guides me to his room and lays me on the bed. “You'll take the bed, I'm staying in the guest room” and explains. “Stay” I basically beg

I make room for him on the bed and he lays next to me. He's taken off his shirt and changed into his pyjama pants and I steal one of his shirts to sleep in.

All I can notice is his pants low on his hips, his toned v line. my thighs press together. The rational part of my brain is trying to talk but all im hearing is ‘blah blah blah’

I can feel Steve's eyes on me,he's right next to me, I feel the heat of his body lingering on mine, the tension is unbearable.

“Fuck it” i mutter under my breath, i straddle steves hips and his eyes widen “what are you doin-” i cut him off by placing my lips on his, he tenses but melts into the kiss, his hands finding my waist.

The kiss heats up as I grind my hips into his. Steve pulls away and I whine. “You are drunk, we can't” he says and i shake my head “i sobered the minute i walked into this house” i say and peck his lips.

Steve contemplates and is at a mental war with himself. He mutters a “fuck it” and smashes his lips back into mine and my hips immediately find his again and he lets out a groan.

“This is such a bad idea” I mutter against his lips. He flips us so he's on top and pushes my shirt up and kisses down my chest and stomach until he reaches the waistband on my underwear. “Steve please we don't have time for that just put it in me” I beg, Steve nods and takes off his sleep plants to reveal his cock.

My mouth waters at the sight “fuck ive missed your cock so much”, steve smirks and takes off my underwear to reveal my glistening cunt. He groans at the sight and lines up his cock with my folds as he rubs the tip of his cock through them.

My back arches as I moan “please steve, no teasing”. He slides it slowly into me and we both moan at the feeling. He allows me to adjust until I give him the okay. He pumps slowly and I wrap my legs around his waist bringing him closer. It shouldn't feel this intimate, I can't hear my thoughts screaming. This is a bad idea.

His thrusts get sloppy. Signalling that he's close and he sneaks his hand down to my clit and starts rubbing at the nub.

Steve cums first, his hips stuttering and he breathes heavily as he cums, I finish seconds after him, my body tensing with pleasure.

As we both come down from our highs, my thoughts run wild, what the hell just happened.

Steve pulls out of me and watches his cum drip out of me. As the post orgasm haze dissipates my eyes widen “steve we forgot to use a condom”

He freezes and panic sets into his face “oh fuck”

[laukethauntings]

I miss us sometimes

JAMES WILSON x FEM!READER

SUMMARY You and James Wilson hadn't spoken since your divorce. You still care for him after all this time, but choose to avoid him to avoid getting hurt. But when a family emergency forces you to reconnect with your ex-husband, you struggle with your feelings for each other.

WARNINGS sex mentioned, nothing too bad.

NOTES I started this and half way realized I didn't know where I wanted to go with it so the last half is kinda rushed, but its still cute.

It had been 5 years since you had spoken to James Wilson. Once the divorce had been finalized, that was the end of it. For James, he had already gone through two divorces before you, but it had only been your first. You truly were enamored by him; he was 6 years older and he seemed like he had it all together when the two of you met, but that facade slowly faded away after only 3 years of marriage.

You avoided the hospital he worked at whenever a hospital visit was required, that was until last night. You received a phone call that your mom had a stroke and was taken to Princeton-Plainsboro hospital. Obviously your need to avoid James was a lot less important than your mom, so you drove over to the hospital.

“Dad what's happening?” you ask your father and the doctor he was talking with informs you that she's in the ER and all you can do is wait. And that’s what you do, you wait around until you hear a familiar voice call out your name.

“Good evening House,” you say tiredly.

“Here for a conjugal visit? I can call Wilson down,” 

“Please don’t, I'd rather not know I’m here,”

“Too late. Wilson! I didn’t know you ordered a stripper,” House yells out as your ex-husband walks into the room. You curl up in the chair you’re in, hiding your face in your hands. He walks over and House promptly takes his leave.

“Hey, what are you doing here?” he says awkwardly, as if he isn’t sure what to say to his ex-wife he hasn’t seen in 5 years. You sit up and take a big breath in. You're not in the best state at the moment, bags under your eyes, messy bed head and pajama pants and a sweater.

“My mom had a stroke, what about you, what are you doing here?” You ask.

“Oh, how's she uh- how's she doing?” James asks, ignoring the stupid question you asked.

“I don’t know, I just got here and no ones told me anything yet,” 

“Give me a moment,” he walks off, and you watch as he talks to some of the other doctors for a couple of minutes before returning to you.

“Did they say anything?”

“She's stable, they have been moving her to her own room soon, but they'd like to keep her overnight to monitor her,” he informs. You're glad he is keeping this interaction fairly professional, you don’t know how you’d act if he started trying to talk about your personal life. The two of you stay silent for a while. You intend to keep it that way, but knowing James, he's bound to start a conversation about something.

“Do you still work at the University?” he asks.

“Yeah, I was promoted to department head four years ago,” you play with your nails awkwardly.

“I have to get back to work but maybe we could catch up over lunch some time?” he offers. You look up and he has a kind but nervous smile on his face, looking down at you.

“I don’t know if this is the best time to be asking me out to lunch,” you say slowly. He winces and runs a hand down his face.

“Right, I'll see you around then,” he says, an embarrassed haze over his expression. You nod, letting him get back to whatever he was doing. Not long after your mom was moved into her own room where you could be with her. Considering it had been the middle of the night when you received the call, you were tired and ended up falling asleep. 

It wasn’t until afternoon that you saw James again. You had called in and canceled your classes for the day so you could be next to your mom. Your dad had gone home to grab a few things and your mom was asleep in the hospital bed, when you hear small knocks on the door. You turn and see James in the doorway. You wipe the sleep from your eyes and stand up.

“How's she doing?” he asks.

“Doctors said she’s gonna be fine, she should be discharged tomorrow morning,” you nod, keeping your eyes on the floor, not wanting to look at him.

“That's good, how are you doing?”

“I think I’m doing alright, just worried about mom,” James got close to your parents when you were together. They had grown fond of him and when you cut contact, they were devastated but decided to do so as well to support you.

“Have you eaten today?”

“Not since last night,”

“Why don't I buy you lunch,” he offers.

"You don’t have to do that, I’ll probably get something when dad gets back, I don't want to leave mom, so,” you ramble a little bit. You blink a ew times, trying to clear your head. Talking to him again brings you back to being 24, flirting with the cute doctor at the Oncology seminar. 

“We can just go to the cafeteria and bring it back here, how about that?” He offers a kind smile. God he still had it. 

You think for a moment before hesitantly nodding, “okay.”

He takes you out to the cafeteria, suddenly self-conscious of your state, “House is working on a case right now so he won't be bothering us,” James calms your nerves a little.

“Thank god, don't get me wrong he's great, but not really,” you let out a quiet laugh.

“Tell me about it,” he rolls his eyes playfully. You walk through the cafeteria and grab some food, your appetite hasn’t quite come back yet so you only grab enough to hold you over. James, being the gentleman he is, pays for your lunch and walks you back to your moms room. She’s still sleeping, but your dad is back so you go sit next to him. James gives him a polite nod and exchanges brief pleasantries before leaving, squeezing your shoulder reassuringly before stepping out. 

James checks in again before he leaves his shift, and the next morning, your mom is discharged. Your dad helps her into the car, telling him to take her home and that you’d be over soon after. They drive away and then you go back inside of the hospital, working up some nerves, deciding at the door that maybe you don't actually want to do it, but you push through the nerves and turn back around.

Three knocks on the office door and James peeks his head out, opening it all the way when he sees it’s you. “Hey, how's your mom?”

“She just got discharged, dads are taking her home now,” You nod nervously.

“That's good, is there anything I can do?” he asks, curious as to why you're knocking on his office, very clearly searching him out.

“Are you free Saturday? Around noon?” you say, nervously playing with the hem of your sweater. “You asked me to lunch and I thought I’d take you up on that offer,” He stares for a moment, not sure what to do, but nods his head unconsciously.

“Yes, absolutely,” he clears his throat and invites you into his office. “Where uh- where do you want to go?” he asks.

“How about that lunch place we always went to, the one down the street from our old house?” you suggested, not sure if you should have suggested such a staple in your relationship.

“Okay, Saturday at noon, I'll meet you there,” he agrees and you offer him a smile before leaving the hospital.

—

James taps his foot nervously, looking at his watch. You're running 20 minutes late, and James was about to leave when the bell on the door jingles and he looks up to see you.

“I’m so sorry, I had to come into work today to mark papers,” you apologize, internally cringing at your own lateness.

“You're okay,” he says, remembering the days he came home late or missed date night because of work, he is fine excusing 20 minutes. For two hours the both of you hang out in the restaurant, just talking and catching up on the last 5 years.

For the longest time when you thought of James you thought about the reasons he pissed you off, or what got on your nerves, the reasons you got divorced, but talking to him after all this time makes you remember a lot of the reasons that you married him in the first place. It feels natural talking to him, it feels good talking to him and you hate it.

You hate that you feel good around him.

The lunch date ends and you both go your separate ways, promising to do it again sometimes. You exchange numbers and the next week try to make plans, but busy schedules get in the way and the two of you aren't able to pick a day and then it dies out quickly, and you go back to not speaking.

—

You're sitting on your couch, watching a movie when the phone rings, it's late at night so you're not sure who could be calling.

“Hello?” you say into the phone.

“Hey, can I ask a really big favor?” James says from the other end. You look at the clock to see it’s 11pm.

“What is it?”

“I don’t have my car right now, or my wallet and I missed the bus and I don’t know who else to call so-” you cut him off.

“You're at the hospital?” 

“Yes,”

“Can you wait 40 minutes?” you sigh.

“If your busy then I can ask someone for money for a cab,”

“Okay, I’ll leave now,” you hang up the phone before he can argue and get in the car, throwing on a jacket and some shoes before leaving. It starts to rain and when you pull up in front of the hospital, you flash your headlights and James runs out, covering his head with his jacket.

“I didn’t know you lived so far away, I could have-” you cut him off again.

“It’s no problem,” you yawn, not looking forward to the drive home. He thanks you and directs you to his apartment, which is 20 minutes in the opposite direction.

“Thank you,” he says and offers you a warm smile.

“No problem,” you wipe your eyes and yawn. “Maybe call me earlier than 11 next time,” you laugh tiredly.

“I’ll make sure to,” he gets out of the car, thanking you again and heading inside. You sit in the car, trying to wake yourself up before driving an hour home. You turn the car back on and as you put the car in drive, James knocks on the window, his jacket over his head, you put down the window a little, not wanting to get your car seat too wet.

“What’d you forget?” you start looking around the passenger's seat.

“I forgot you,” he laughs.

“What?” you narrow your eyes.

“You shouldn’t drive while you're that tired, stay the night,” he offers and a red haze covers your cheeks.

“I don’t know if that's the best idea,”

“Sleep on my couch, please,” You think for a minute before shutting the car off again, quickly getting out and running with him to the front door. You walk over to his apartment and he opens the door, letting you in. He shakes off his jacket and hangs it up. You stand there awkwardly, your eyes watching him roll up the sleeves of his shirt, unable to take your eyes off him.

God this was a mistake.

I'll grab you some blankets, get comfortable and make yourself at home.” That simple, and commonly used phrasing comes off very different to you, and he felt it too. He swiftly exited into his bedroom while you sat on the couch, your hands in your lap, looking around at the books littered around, coffee stains on the table, and of course a few pieces you remember as being in your shared home. You remember picking out the couch cushions with him the night he proposed.

“Here,” he says, another memory in his arms. He handed you the blanket and you couldn’t help but just look up at him. “Everything alright?” he tilts his head.

“I think so, thanks for letting me stay,” you recover quickly.

“Your welcome,” he says and sits in the arm chair, leaning back in it. “Sorry if this is weird,” he says after a moment of silence.

“It is a little,” you say, looking down at the blanket.

“Well it's not like we're strangers,” 

“We kind of are,”

“We know each other,” he says.

“We used to know each other,” you correct. He runs a hand down his face, letting it fall into his lap.

“It has been a while hasn’t it,” he sighs, looking over at you, wanting you to look up at him too. You could have him if you wanted. He invited you back into his place, he had to know there was even the smallest possibility that could happen, but you knew it would be too hard to leave if you did sleep with him. You have to remind yourself how shitty he had been close to the end of your marriage; he was negligent and never home, and when you were in a state of vulnerability and needed someone, he wasn’t there to help you.

But God the sex was good.

“I’ll let you rest,” he nods and heads to his own room. You let your head fall into your hands. How could you be so stupid, you didn’t fight for him back then, and you're still too much of a coward to do it now.

Eventually, sleep overtook you and you woke up to James sitting in his kitchen, sipping a coffee. “Morning,” you rub your head tiredly, wiping the sleep from your eyes.

“Sleep well?” he asks

“Good enough,” you get up and stretch, “mind if I have some?” You point to the coffee pot.

“I can’t drink a pot on my own,” he laughs and you laugh with him, search through a few cabinets until you find a mug pouring yourself some.

“Not sure how I’m going to explain to my boyfriend I spent the night at my ex-husband's place,”

“You have a boyfriend?” he says, the slightest bit of outrage in his voice,

“No,” you smile coyly into your mug. He rolls his eyes.

“Any luck in that department?”

“Not really, I’ve been focused on work,” you shrug. He says the same thing.” You were my first like, real relationship,” he can't say the same.

The two of you sit in silence for a little while before you break it once again.

“Being divorced sucks,” you admit, sipping on your coffee.

“Tell me about it,” he sighs. The both of you finish drinking your coffee in silence. It's not that you don't know what to say, you just have nothing else to say.

“I should be heading out, I got some things to do today,” you put the mug in his sink. 

“Thanks again for last night, if I had known you lived so far away I would have found another way,” 

“I’m glad you called me,” 

“Really?” he tilts his head.

“I miss us sometimes,” you look up at him, a bit of a shocked, awkward expression on his face.

“Only sometimes?” He takes a minute to respond.

“Only sometimes,” you repeat, silence filling the air once again. “Maybe we could get dinner tomorrow?”

“Uh- yea, I'd love that,” he stutters, his cheeks dusted with a bit of pink. You love when he gets flustered.

You smile, heading for the front door, “I’ll pick you up at 7.” “It's a date,” he takes a step forward, deciding to not get any closer.

“It’s a date,” you repeat before slipping out and into your car. It takes you a moment to recover; the butterflies in your stomach impeding your ability to think straight. Eventually you make the drive home, thinking about your date with your ex-husband.

—

“So who’s the unlucky girl,” House bursts into Wilsons office.

“I don’t know what you're talking about,” Wilson deflects.

“So there is a girl?” House concludes.

“There’s no girl,”

“Then who was this from?” House shows him a little sticky note you wrote him. Wilson furrows his brow.

“You ate my lunch?” he accuses.

“Who is it,”

“No one! I’m not seeing anyone!”

“Liar!” House accuses. That's when there's a knock on Wilson's office. House, being the one standing, opens to the door, only to find you standing there with two coffee cups.

“Am I interrupting something?” You ask and watch as House looks between you and Wilson.

“You’re dating your ex-wife?!” House says overly loudly. You wince, walk into the office and shut the door.

“Good to see you too Greg,” you say, forcing yourself to be polite before making your way over to James and sit on his desk, ignoring House.“ Thought you could use some coffee,”

“You didn’t happen to bring lunch did you?” James rolls his eyes.

“No, we could go out real quick, on me,” you offer.

“Anything to get out of here.” he stands up and gives you a kiss before leading you out of his office, his hand on your back.

“Am I invited?” House calls out after, to which you both just roll your eyes.

“Where do you want to go?” you ask, leaving the hospital.

“How about our usual lunch spot?” James suggests.

“Aren’t you tired of that spot?”

“Not one bit,” he looks over at you with loving eyes and grabs your free hand with his. You both lean in for a quick kiss, then go to lunch.

[happilyhertale]

Long Lost Love - Aemond Targaryen x female!reader, Part 10

Summary: You are the daughter of Daemon and Rhaenyra. When the invitation to Aegon and Helaena's wedding came, your entire family rushes from Dragonstone to King's Landing to take part in the festivities. You haven't seen your family in King's Landing for 6 years so you are very excited...

Pairing: Aemond Targaryen x fem!reader

Warnings: At the beginning none – eventually smut (uncle/niece)

Author’s note: Hello you! (:

This is my first fic so please be nice (: I thought I'd just try a little self-considered story. I hope u like it.

The events are not entirely similar from the series.

English is my second language, please forgive me if I made any mistakes (:

Word count: 3.6k

Part 1, Part 2, Part 3, Part 4, Part 5, Part 6, Part 7a, Part 7b, Part 8, Part 9, Part 11, Part 12, Part 13, Part 14, Part 15

· · ─────── ·𖥸· ─────── · ·

Your eyes are closed, but you feel Aemond behind you.

You feel his calm, steady breath on the back of your neck. His breath tickles you lightly. His arms are wrapped tightly around you, he has held you all night. With his legs, he holds you just as tightly, as your legs are knotted together. You never want to get out of this bed again.

You notice how Aemond moves slowly. He begins to gently caress your belly. He tenderly kisses your neck and nape.  A soft, deep "Mhhmm" hums in his chest. You chuckle.

"Mmhm… My Love, I have never been so content. Waking up in the morning with you in my arms..." Your heart is about to burst.

When you realise it's morning.

Your eyes open and you see that the sun is high in the sky.

"Aemond? I have to go," you sit up. He looks at you irritated and wants to pull you back to bed, "No, my Love. Don't do that. Stay here with me"

You laugh briefly, "Aemond... I have to go to my chambers. If anyone sees me coming out of your chambers in the morning..." Aemond pulls you to him again, "Sshhh, my Love. Only a short moment" You chuckle and twist in his arm. And again his arms are wrapped tightly around you.

You look into his face. His eye is closed, his eye patch does not cover his sapphire. You admire his delicate features. You let your thumb wander gently over his lips. He smiles slightly. Tenderly you let your thumb wander over his scar as you notice how his sapphire reflects the sun shining into the chambers. Beautiful light shades of blue dance through the air. Another "Mmmhm" comes deep from his chest.

Oh how you love that sound.

"Just that. Waking up and holding you in my arms."

You lean in further and kiss him gently. He smiles only slightly.

You leave a few more kisses on his lips and the area around his lips, he chuckles.

"How cute... Prince Aemond can be so cute" He abruptly opens his eye, "Can he?"

You can't suppress a laugh and chuckle, "Yes"

You feel his hand move to your ribs, "Mmmhmm?"

And suddenly his fingers are moving, tickling you. You squirm under his grip, "Aemond! Stop that!" You laugh uncontrollably. Desperately you try to free yourself from his grip, but he holds you tight and continues to tickle without mercy. He asks you insistently, "Prince Aemond can be cute?"

You manage to answer, "Yes!" despite your laughter.

You somehow break free and slide to the end of the bed. You are out of breath but still half laughing. Aemond grins at you, "You have to be careful with statements like that."

You shake your head bravely. He comes over to you and kisses you, "Then I guess I'll have to put you in your place more often.“

You laugh lightly and return the kiss.

"Come on, I'll take you to your chambers." You nod.

You get up and get dressed.

Aemond is faster at dressing. He stands against the wall next to his bed, waiting for you to finish dressing.

As you finish, you look at him, "Can we go?"

You turn towards the door as Aemond stops you, "No, Y/N. Come here."

You look at him, "Aemond I really need to go to my chambers. We're really getting into trouble..." He interrupts you, "Yes then come here." He pushes lightly against the wall behind him and it just slides open.

You have to smile, "How could I forget? Oh my god, how many times we used to sneak through these corridors!"

He chuckles and holds out his hand to you. Slightly indignant, you ask, "why haven't you ever visited me at night?"

He chuckles lightly, "Is that what you want?"

You can only grin and bite your lip lightly.

Hand in hand you wander through the secret corridors of the Red Keep.

Aemond seems to know exactly how to get to your chambers. He pushes the wall aside with ease and leads you into your chambers.

Standing in your chambers, you kiss him and press passionately against him. Your hands travel up his neck. A grunt comes deep from his body. You break the kiss and look up into his eye, "See you tonight?" He nods and kisses you again.

This morning was perfect, but now you meet Helaena. You want to go for a walk in the garden together. As you walk through the garden, you notice how tense she is. She is visibly nervous about the upcoming wedding. She is not happy about having to marry Aegon, and you can understand that very well. "You should be glad you're meant for Aemond," she says to you suddenly. You look at her, "But Helaena, Aemond and I are.... we are not betrothed."

She looks dreamily into the distance, "Two dragons dancing together shouldn't be separated."

"I don't quite understand, Helaena?" but then a servant approaches you and sends word that Alicent would like to speak to Helaena. Helaena looks at you joyfully, "Will I see you at dinner tonight?" You nod to her and smile. Then she leaves with the servant.

You stroll through the garden alone for a while, when at some point you decide to go back to your chambers. Somehow you are still quite tired.

As you enter the hall and are about to go to the stairs in the entrance area, you hear voices.

The voices come from the smaller hall, which is easily accessible through a door. And this door is slightly open. Somehow you are drawn to the door that leads to the small hall. You cautiously walk over and try to understand what they are saying when you hear Aemond's voice.

You push the door open a little further and then you see him. You are about to go to him when you remember that there was another voice there too. He is not alone. You look further into the hallway and see her.

Alys.

She is standing very close to him. Too close for your taste. They seem familiar and they are talking. What they are talking about, you cannot quite understand. You shudder as you realise how jealous you are. You try to calm down. But then you notice that her fingers are suddenly on his chest. A heat rises inside you. But it's not a good heat. You feel your cheeks begin to glow. Your heart is beating with full force in your chest.

And then you see it. She leans closer to him. You can't believe your eyes...

She kisses him.

She wraps her hands around his neck. The neck that you embraced tenderly just this morning.

Your heart bursts into a thousand pieces.

You gasp and immediately slap your hand over your mouth. Finally you manage to turn away. You turn to the side and stand with your back against the wall. Your eyes burn from the tears that come to your eyes. Your throat constricts, you can't breathe properly.

How... How can he do this to you.

All the last days pass you by. The intimate moments you shared.

You feel wretched, you feel used. You have never felt such pain.

You manage to get away from the hall. Tears run down your cheek, you cannot hold them back.  You reach your chambers and sink to the floor. You break down. You cry bitterly and your chambers is filled with the sound of incessant sobbing.

Aemond pushes Alys away, "Alys! I said stop it!" Alys grins at him, "If you don't want it, why did you enjoy the kiss for so long?"

Aemond scowls at her.

"Oh what's wrong with you? You always liked that I dared to kiss you everywhere", again she lets her finger wander over his chest. He grabs her wrist and holds it tightly, she continues, "Is it because of the little dove?"

His jaw tightens.

"You can't be serious, Aemond? You can't seriously want to hump this young thing, can you? She can't even give you what you need."

She tries to step closer to Aemond but he pushes her away, "Let it go Alys."

Aemond turns around and walks away.

Alys calls after him, "Are you just going to leave me here?"

Somehow you made it to your bed. You just lie in your bed. Your body aches. At some point there were just no more tears, so you just lay there and looked out of the window. You feel numb. Slowly you turn onto your back. You sigh and notice how your sadness changes.

How could he do this to you?

You feel yourself getting angry and your wrath comes out. Again, that feeling of humiliation comes up in you. You could never have imagined that Aemond would do such a thing to you.

Your Aemond.

You look at the window again and see that the sun is slowly setting. You should get up and get dressed, soon dinner will begin. Slowly you stand up and as if by magic you get dressed. You don't feel like braiding your hair, just let it fall over your shoulders.

You would prefer to stay in your chambers until this whole wedding is over, but then you would probably have to face a lot of questions from a lot of people.

So you make your way to the hall.

When you enter the hall, several families are already gathered. You walk over to your family. You dare not look in Aemond's direction for fear you will not be able to bear his gaze.

The whole hall is filled with conversation.

You sit down next to your father and try to smile. He looks at you worriedly, "Don't I get a kiss as a greeting?"

You are slightly startled and give him a light kiss. Daemon continues to look at you a little irritated.

The conversation falls silent as King Viserys rises. All eyes are on him, "My dear Lords and Ladies, I thank you, for coming, for spending time here with us. Most of the Houses from across the realm are gathered here to celebrate the upcoming marriage of my son Aegon and my daughter Helaena. The balls we have enjoyed so far have been a great joy..." Daemon snorts lightly in his seat beside you "... but now let us enjoy the second relaxed dinner. We will conclude this series of festivities with the planned hunt at the end of the week in the nearest royal forest area. On the evening of the wedding, we then come together again to enjoy and eat the hunted prey together. And, of course, we will use it to celebrate the bride and groom." Viserys raises his cup and leans towards Aegon and Helaena. They are both smiling, but neither of them looks particularly happy. The smile does not reach their eyes. Your gaze involuntarily slides over to Aemond, he seeks your gaze. You avert your gaze and join in the clapping that has formed in the hall.

You sit next to your father as the evening takes its course. Most of the Lords and Ladies have left their seats to talk and laugh in the middle of the hall. If you didn't feel so awful, you would gladly join them.

You don't touch your food, since noon today you have lost your appetite. Daemon notices that something is bothering you. But he knows you, he doesn't push you to talk to him, instead he lightly strokes your hand and gives you a slight smile. You return his smile.

You keep noticing that Aemond is searching your gaze. They practically burn themselves into the side of your face.

You ignore him. You have not the slightest desire to talk to him. And you fear that if you were to start talking to him, you would not be able to hold back your wrath.

After most people have finished eating, you decide that you have presented yourself to the public long enough, you want to go back to your chambers. Your bed now seems much more tempting than this hall.

You get up and walk around the table. Your eyes fall on Aemond again and his gaze betrays him, he looks curious, he expects you to come to him. You turn away. You walk along the wall to get to the door. When all of a sudden you pass Aegon. He is leaning against the wall, wine in his hand, watching the crowd. A few lords and ladies have started dancing to the soft music. Aegon looks at you, "Niece? Do you want to go already or are you in the mood for some really good company today?"

You think for a moment. If you weren't in this mood, you would have thrown some line at him, but somehow you feel like just drinking with Aegon, "You know what? Yeah, I'm really in the mood for some good company"

Aegon didn't expect that, he looks at you surprised, "Really? Well then, of course I offer myself". He holds out his arm to you and you accept. He leads you to the end of the table where no crowd has gathered and you start drinking.

Daemon sees this from a distance and has never been so irritated as he is now. The longer he watches you, the more he realises that maybe the one-eyed prince isn't so bad after all. But in the end, however, he would prefer many men to Aegon.

You're surprised, you actually have fun with Aegon. You drink and he tells you a lot of gossip. You never thought Aegon would have so much gossip to tell. And he actually makes you laugh.

Aegon looks at you, "Why aren't you with my brother today?" You shake your head, "No way Aegon. You won't be able to pass on this gossip."

Aegon laughs, "Okay... so we'll save that for later", he takes a sip of his wine. You giggle and shake your head.

"At least let's play a game then." You look at him curiously, "Looking for looks." Now you look at him confused. Aegon laughs, "Okay niece, you need to leave Dragonstone more often. How do you not know this?"

You stick your tongue out at him. He laughs softly.

"We have to let our eyes wander through the hall. I have to try to catch the Ladies' eyes. If I can make eye contact with one, I may drink. And you must do the same with the Lords."

You nod. He looks at you, "If I win, you have to come to my chambers." You look at him annoyed, "Aegon. That's never going to happen. And if you don't stop this, you'll have to play alone."

Aegon raises his hands defensively and nods in agreement.

You peer around the hall, actually noticing a few Lords and managing to make eye contact. You drink.

Aegon has trouble starting.

"Well Aegon, no Lady wants to join you in your chambers today?", he looks at you annoyed. But then Aegon finds a Lady, he drinks. It seems easier for you though, the Lords seem to be very eager to catch your glances. Suddenly Aegon catches up, he drinks a lot. Until you notice that he is cheating, "Aegon! She wasn't even looking at you!"

He looks at you indignantly, "Of course she was!"

You shake your head vigorously, "She was looking across the hall! She must be looking at you, looking for your eyes! If it was just a case of 'looking that way', I'd have had to drink the whole bottle by now!"

Aegon just laughs. He suddenly stops laughing as a Lord stands in front of you. He seems to have taken your eye contact too seriously. "Princess Y/N" he bows his head slightly. "I enjoyed the way our eyes met"

You look at him wide eyed, Aegon chuckles beside you "I was hoping I could enjoy the next dance with you." You look at him and reply, "Well since it's not an official ball tonight, I don't think that's appropriate. Besides, I am already in excellent company."

The Lord does not slacken his hold, "Well I would probably be the much more interesting choice. Besides, many of the Lords and Ladies dance, we wouldn't stand out at all."

You smile, "Yes, if we don't stand out then we don't need to dance."

Now he holds out his hand to you, "It would be rude to refuse an inviting hand from a suitable Lord," he smiles greasily at you.

"Lord Lannister? I suppose so. Since you haven't even introduced yourself, I can only tell by the 'stupid lion' on your chest. By the way, it's rude not to introduce yourself when you approach a princess. It is equally rude not to greet a prince who is present. And while I'm at it, it's also rude to try to urge a princess or Lady to dance when she obviously doesn't want to." You look at Aegon in surprise. He looks at the Lord, unimpressed. The Lord looks at Aegon, startled, and slowly withdraws his hand. He looks at you again, he bows his head slightly and walks away.

You look at Aegon, "Wow Aegon... I didn't know how much you can stand up for others. I like that," you raise your goblet.

Aegon chuckles, "Thank you. I didn't know how fun it could be to drink with you either. Then I can even chase away an annoying Lannister," he toasts you.

By now you are well drunk. Your eyes fall more and more into the distance, where you see Aemond. He is standing there with a couple of Lords and they are talking. Lady Alys is literally dancing around him. Talking alternately to the Lords or to him. She lets her hand slide over his arm again and again. For a moment you thought she was going to take his hand so they could dance, but then Aemond pulled his hand away.

It hurts you. You have to suppress tears and you bury your face in your goblet. Until Aegon looks at you, and realises you're not okay, "Hey... is everything okay?"

You nod and try to smile.

Aemond hates that you're spending the evening by Aegon's side. He trusts you, but doesn't trust Aegon. He knows his thoughts and can imagine all too well what his intentions are. He clutches his goblet tighter. He doesn't really follow the conversation around him. For most of the evening, he has been watching you. How you drink with Aegon. How Aegon makes you laugh and even how Aegon has scared the Lannister Lord away. Aemond is not really in the mood for company tonight, but the Lords of Harrenhal, including Lady Alys, urge him to talk.

You sigh, by now you think you can't take much more of Lady Alys clinging to Aemond. Nor can you drink much more, "Aegon... I'm going to my chambers." He looks at you, "Already? At least let me accompany you."

You shake your head slightly, "No it's fine. But I thank you for the nice distraction."

He bows his head slightly, "You're very welcome niece. You're welcome any time."

You stand up and walk towards the exit. As you are in the hallway to the next hall, you hear someone call your name. It is Aemond. You don't turn around, you walk briskly on. When Aemond suddenly holds you by your arm, "Hey! Why are you ignoring me? Why are you acting like this?"

You yank your arm free and sway a little to the side. "How much have you had to drink?" Aemond continues to ask you.

You snort, "Oh suddenly it bothers you when I drink. Very hypocritical Aemond. But that suits you well."

He looks at you irritatingly, "What's wrong Y/N?"

You don't respond, "And by the way, I'm not ignoring you. I'm just enjoying the evening. Just like you do."

Aemond raises his eyebrows, "So you'd rather spend the evening with Aegon than with me?"

Carefully he reaches for your arm, but you pull your arm away, "Perhaps you should think about it. But maybe you shouldn't be whoring in a hall where everyone can see you.“

His eyes grow wide and he reaches for your arm again, "Y/N..." when he is interrupted. "Perhaps the men should accept that Y/N does not want any conversations today.“

Aemond slowly looks over his shoulder and sees his brother.  "Brother, I don't think she wants to be around you. Today she prefers the first born"

Aemond's gaze turns hateful towards Aegon.

You have tears in your eyes, but you definitely don't want to cry in front of him. You turn quickly and run away.

Aemond calls after you, but you keep running. Aemond turns to Aegon, "What did you say to her?"

Aegon raises his hands, "I didn't say anything. I am innocent. I probably gave her the only good time today."

Aegon is grinning now, "But now that Y/N is gone, I'm going to find a girl to keep me warm tonight."

Aegon moves away from Aemond.

Aemond hangs his head, he sighs. He suspected that it might be difficult when Alys showed up, but he had not expected such a situation.

You have made it. You are in your chamber. You are leaning against your door from the inside. You lock it. You enter the room, successfully suppressing the urge to cry. Quickly you lie down in your bed. Just as you are about to fall asleep, images keep popping up in your head. How this Lady Alys dances around Aemond, how she touches him. How she kisses him. You turn on your side. Suddenly you have to imagine that Aemond could spend the night with her... You press your face into your pillow. You feel terrible, you just want to die right now.

· · ─────── ·𖥸· ─────── · ·

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[trulyyours-rune]

I know I have made many requests but I can't help it, my head is full of ideas 🙈

Imagine having a foster child with Bill starting in 2023, what would he be like as a parent? Having family moments when they go for a walk somewhere, taking turns knowing which of the two has to feed him or change his diaper, Bill showing his son in the live he does with the boys, etc.

Hello I have marriage papers right here- what I didn't say anything you did.

Warnings: Fluff, nothing else-

(C/n) = Child's name

Bill Kaulitz x Male Reader

Having a 6 year old foster child wasn't exactly easy, but you've always tried you're best for him. Showing that he's safe and sound.

You even got your son one of the most friendliest dogs that are good with children as a therapy dog. Your son and that cat were always seen together. The dog was fluffy and could often be seen cuddling with your son. (😭)

______

The sound of the Tv was in the background playing faintly. Some simple kid cartoons for your child. Sad part was, he was in foster care. He was sensitive to many things, and you made sure all those things were out of his way.

He didn't overly have any friends, and he was a lonely kid so you got a therapy/emotional support dog. Those. Two. Were. Inseparable.

(C/n) would panic whenever he couldn't find the dog, then the dog would walk in and it seemed like nothing happened.

(C/n) tended to be clingy at times, hugging the dog, wanting "up" (being held) by you, and when Bill came around, constant cuddling.

Bill was excited once he knew you adopted a child, and yes you warned him it was a foster child. He felt bad for the kid and so he decided to give the kid the best childhood.

(C/n) loved him, Bill was a kind being around his son. Bill always played with him, held him, and did anything for this child.

______

"Daddy!" A tiny voice came from (C/n)'s room. "Mm... I'll get him." Bill mumbled out, rubbing his eye. "Thank you, love." You whispered, Bill smiled a bit and got up, stretching his arms and walking over to his son's room.

He silently opened (C/n)'s door, welcoming to a small voice saying "Daddy, I can't find (D/n (Dog's name))" "He's-" Bill looked behind him, a dog came up behind him. "Here." He opened the door a bit to reveal a dog with a wide smile. "(D/n)!" The small child called out, seeming happy.

The dog walked over and climbed onto the bed, plopping down right beside (C/n) and smiling. Bill smiled "I love you, (C/n), get some sleep, okay?" Bill smiled, closing the door.

______

Next morning the rest of the band was supposed to be coming over for a visit. You were busy cleaning up the place, while Bill had the duty to look out after (C/n).

You walked in the living room, rubbing your hands on a cloth from recently scrubbing at counters and tables. Turns out you walked in on (C/n) passed out on Bill while he stroked (C/n)'s back softly. Some cartoon was in the background as always, and Bill was dozing.

You smiled at the cute sight in front of you, but your attention was turned towards the door being knocked on. (C/n) woke up, perking his head up with tired eyes and a bed head.

(Y'ALL I'M SORRY I GET LIKE 3 HOURS OF SLEEP A NIGHT AND I'M SO TIRED- I let my friend know to scream at me to finish this story so dw <3)

(THIS WILL BE EDITED FOR SURE-)

[shadowuserannie]

Rating LEGO Friends: The Next Chapter ships

Rating LEGO Friends: The Next Chapter ships! If you ship any of these but I don't, that's perfectly okay! Everyone is entitled to their own opinions!

(but please. if you ship the illegal ones, then don't comment that you do. please.)

Warning: I have watched up to season 2 ep 6, but no further!

Autumn/Leo: nope, 100% best platonic besties, love their dynamic, -/10. I really love their in-show friendship and their moments are great, so a romance between them just feels wrong.

Paisley/Olly: 5/10, the chemistry and moments are there and it looks like the writers are building up to a romance, but I think the relationship would be unbalanced. The dynamic would also be kinda toxic, both of them need more character growth and development before they can have a healthy relationship. Like maybe when they're older and more mature?

Zac/Sky: 8/10, cute, love their dynamic and hope to see more moments in the future. What little crumbs so far are great, mainly because so far they're both easygoing and respectful people and I could see this relationship turning out well.

Olly/Leo: ehhhhh, don't think it'd work out well. Leo is similar to Paisley (in his difficulty in saying no, and standing up for himself but he's working on it and has come pretty far) and thus they'd have the same unbalanced dynamic, but they don't have anywhere close to Olly and Paisley's canon interactions nor years of friend history. Same thing as Olly/Paisley, needs more character growth first. I know a lot of people shipped them before the show came out, mainly because they were 'the obviously queer guy' and 'the feminine guy' or maybe just aesthetically, they look nice together to some people. 3/10.

Nova/Liann: 10/10, love it. Canon issues with their relationship are addressed, they have a comfortable dynamic and know each other well, they also have great moments together and I could see a romance happening cutely and naturally. Honestly my favourite ship.

Leo/Candi: DEAR GOD THIS IS SO TOXIC W H A T...NO SORRY NOT FOR ME

Leo/Aliya: 4/10. Leo and Aliya don't strike me as a relationship that would last long. Aliya has boundary issues (the Ley-La thing) and she's not good at noticing she's pushing Leo specifically (Over-Leveraged Leo) so some more character growth from both of them first. Then maybe I'll rate them higher.

Aliya/Autumn: 7/10, strikes me as besties but could also have a cool, sweet romance that could also happen naturally, if they get more 'romantic' moments together. Canon issues are addressed, and they have a good dynamic going for them.

Paisley/Zac: 5/10. They are very comfortable with each other, could see a romance happening but the platonic vibes are stronger. If they ever dated it'd likely end with both agreeing to stay best friends instead.

Nova/Aliya: Rivals to lovers, 3/10. Both have more character growth to get to before a healthy romantic relationship.

Paisley/Leo: cute, 7/10. Don't really have lots of canon interactions, but their personalities would mesh nicely and I could see a healthy, sweet romantic relationship. They're both cut from similar cloths, so they could be good for each other.

Zac/Aliya: DEAR GOD THEY ARE !COUSINS!

Leo/Niko: 6/10. Cute, same as Paisley/Zac, might date for a bit before agreeing to stay good friends. Leo would also 100% be Niko's realization that he's queer.

Liann/Paisley: cute, I love Liann and Paisley's moments in the very first episode and later on, Liann also gets more character development, so a romance between them would be nice. I feel like the eternal bestie vibes are slightly stronger, though, so 7/10.

Aliya/Paisley: okay but don't really see it happening. plus with Paisley and Leo being similar, a romance might not end well without further character moments OR maybe some solid canon moments. 4.5/10

Zac/Leo: platonic vibes are nice and strong, any romance would die off quickly and they'd stay good friends. The Over-Leveraged Leo ep is used as fuel for this ship by a lot of people, but to me the part where Zac just...approaches Leo and applauds his lovely situation then agrees to help, it feels more bestie than romantic to me. 2/10

Leo/Nova: would not work well in any world, they're just too different. -/10

So overall my personal ships: Liann/Nova, Zac/Sky. I'll wait for further canon.

AGAIN YOU CAN SHIP WHAT YOU WANT, THIS IS MY OWN OPINIONS.

[sakuracoloring]

Cami's Commentary #6 - Random

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「ようこそ！」　。。。

Good morning/afternoon/night to whoever may be reading this! It's late but I feel like writing stuff, so here we go :)

JLPT: I did the JLPT/日本語能力試験 (Japanese Language Proficiency Test) on Sunday for the N5 level for the first time :D Honestly, I feel like I went well (my main concerns were my phone ringing out of the blue, even though I had turned it off nicely and it was in silent mode, and not being able to hear the audio part, but thankfully everything went well) and I really hope to pass. If I do, I'll probably start studying for N4 as soon as possible (though I don't think I'll be prepared enough to do the December test already), but let's see how it goes ¯\_(ツ)_/¯ I've never been so excited during a test before lol

MOVIESSSSS: I surprisingly woke up early today and chose to not be a lazy bum who watches youtube shorts on her bed for like 2 hours, so I decided to watch some movies! (yippeeee) :D I started out by watching Little Darlings, which I really liked. The story was pretty interesting, the main leads had believable acting (which is hella important), and shaggy hair Matt Dillon my beloved was there (which is even more important). Kinda unrelated but I feel like his shaggy hair era is a bit forgotten :( Idk, I just find more about his Outsiders era and nowadays on here and pinterest, so that's kinda the impression I get from the fandom/fanbase (Idk if I should call it that). Anyways, it was funny and emotional at the right times (and Randy was adorable), so I'd give it an 8/10. I then watched Juno, which has been on my watchlist for a pretty long time, and I loved it :3 It was better than I expected (though I did not expect to see Dwight's actor and Spiderman's J. J. Jameson's actor there lol), and the ending scene made me squeal as if I were watching a cute cat video. Solid 10/10. Finally, I watched Liar's Moon. It was pretty good ngl, (Matt looked so handsome wtf) but the whole possible incest plot twist thing was hella weird, so I'd give it a 7.5/10. Feel free to give me any movie suggestions :) (especially if Matt Dillon is in it lol)

The Outsiders on roblox: Idk if any of y'all play roblox, but I do (been using the same account from 7 years ago lol, it holds many memories) and I thought of searching ''the outsiders'' on it to see if there were any games ¯\_(ツ)_/¯ and so there's these two(?) games, but only one of them is mainly played by roleplayers n stuff. So a few weeks ago, I remember going there and always seeing the same two Ponyboy and Johnny roleplayers (I even remember talking to a girl who wasn't roleplaying and she was pissed that people shipped the greasers together lol), and like, they were ALWAYS on there. I'd log in at 7am, then like 9pm of THE SAME DAY and they'd be there. I also tested this on multiple days. And just them yk, not even a Dally or TwoBit to be there too, and even now when I don't see them that often in game, I always ask myself ''are they gonna be there?'' lol Also, I've also played the Cherry Valance obby (not bad), and the beginning of the obby mentions it's based on the Darry obby, which I haven't been able to find, so if anyone has the link, please lmk :3

I have to sleep rn (doctor's appointment tomorrow), so that'll be it for today. Thank you so much for making it this far into my written yap session :) I really appreciate your attention <3

See you next time! ☆

-Cami

[imaginesforeveryone]

The Big Fight (Part 3)

Pairing: Bonnie Gold x Y/N Summary: It was the day after your found out your brother had been killed, and Bonnie tried to make you feel better in a special way.

You woke up about 4 hours later and the sun had set already. Feeling you head fall slowly up and down rest on Bonnie's naked chest. You smiled thinking back before you fell asleep what had occurred. Sitting up slowly trying to not wake Bonnie. You grabbed a extra blanket and wrapping it around yourself so you didn't have to make to much noise trying to get your clothes back on. Stepping out of the carriage, the fire still flickering in the dark night. You sat down on one of the logs and just took in the nature that you missed so much being out in, the slight breeze that rolled through every once in awhile chilling you a bit. You heard creaking behind you causing you to shoot around to inspect. Relaxing your tense body after seeing it was Bonnie in only his pants.

"Why didn't you wake me?" He asked with sleep in his voice still.

"You just looked too cute to wake." You said with a giggle and turning back to look out over the river. He kissed you naked shoulder that the blanket didn't cover and sat beside you.

"How are you feeling?" He asked putting his arm around you.

"I'm okay. Little better because of you." You said with a wink and smile.

"Well, I'm happy I could help a bit." He said pulling you closer into him and kissing your temple. You two sat insolence for awhile just relaxing.

"Well, we should probably get going back. Get you back to your family." Bonnie said sitting straight up.

"Nooooo." You whined out with a pouting face.

"I know, I know. It's shit. I'll tell you what when we get closer we stop one more place and watch the sunrise, and then we go back? "He told you.

"Better than nothing." You said hoping up and holding you hand out for Bonnie to grab.

"Lets go get you dressed." He said with a smile and dragging you into the back of the carriage to your clothes.

"But you leave your shirt off." You demanded getting into the carriage and dropping the blanket. He just stared at you, looking you up and down.

"Yes ma'am." He said practically drooling. You grabbed you pants and his shirt putting them on and slipping your shoes back on. He held his hand out to help you down safely. Closing the gate to the back of the carriage and walking around to open your door for you. You climbed in and got comfortable for the ride. Slowly thoughts of Arthur taking you on road trips with him as a young girl. He was your older brother, but also a father figure to you. You never knew your father, he was gone before you turned 6 months old. Even Finn, only being a year older than you, you always looked up to him.

"hey you okay?" Bonnie asked snapping you out of your thoughts and coming to realization you guys were already driving.

"Yeah. Just thinking about Arthur." You said looking over at him. A saddened smile across his face as he motioned for you to get closer to him. You slid across the bench seat and curled into his side.

"I know it's hard right now. He lives through the rest of you guys. He lives in your hearts, forever." Bonnie spoke softly and he rubbed circles on your back. The rest of the ride was in comfortable silence. You watched out the window at the big fields that you passed by. You noticed you were getting closer to town. It was begging to get a little bright out, but no sun yet. Bonnie, slowing down and pulling down. road that went through a field, and into the forest behind it. Once the car stopped you got out and went around the back of it the edge of the river in perfect time to see the sun start to peak.

"So, what do you want to do when we get back?" Bonnie asked standing next to you.

"Well, we have to handle the Changretta's now. I'm going to slice the throats of all of them for what they did to my brother. They will not live to see Christmas with their children, and wives." You said starting to get more angry than sad now. You heard a car driving down the path you and Bonnie just came down. You grabbed your gun out of your holster and flattened yourself on the side of the carriage. You peaked your head and saw it was Finn's car. You put you gun back and walked out, Bonnie followed behind and stopped as the car stopped.

"Y/N. We have to go." Finn said getting out of the car.

"What happened Finn?" You asked him.

"Lucca and his men are coming. Tommy, and Polly are at the Gin distillery right now getting ready for him to get there. They want you there." He said frantically.

"Okay. Bonnie, I'm sorry. Thank you, but I have to go." You said turning to him.

"That's okay. I'll meet you guys there. Be safe." He said pulling you into a hug and kissing you. You turned away and ran to the car and Finn got in. Turning around and taking it off. You stopped at home to change, and then quickly got to the distillery. Walking in, Tommy, and Polly stood beside each other. You walked over with Finn, and stood beside them two.

"Just stay quiet. Let me do the talking." Tommy said knowing the temper you had. You just scoffed and lite a cigarette. Hearing footsteps slowly walking around the corner and seeing Lucca, and his men with guns in hand. You blood instantly starting to sizzle through your veins wanting to rip his head off right then and there. But as much as you dint want to admit it, Tommy was right. You have to stay calm and watch how this plays out.

Lucca spoke but in Italian, not understanding what he was saying, you just looked.

"All thats left of the Peaky fucking Blinders." He spoke in English to you and your family now. You took a drag of your cigarette trying not to speak. Lucca walked up to come face to face with Tommy. Lucca snood his fingers, and one of his men walking with a brief case and taking out a folder and putting it on the table. Lucca walking back around table.

"I've had my lawyer draw up these papers. Cover every enterprise in your possession. Bars, restraints, warehouses. Every fucking thing that you've taken all these years to gather together. You will sign them all over." He said beginning to walk.

"To my family." He finished his sentence. You scoffed at his comment finishing off your cigarette. Tommy not saying a word, just staring Lucca in his eyes.

"Or you're gonna die." Lucca said. You through your cigarette at the ground and stood straight up. Polly giving you a look to stop and step back. Tommy still just looked at Lucca, without a word.

"I would've buried you all, but my mother, she knows you. She said, it'll be worse for you, if I let you live and take away everything you have." Lucca spoke making you more and more mad. Lucca grabbed Tommy jacket, and pulling it to look on the inside. Tommy put his hands out for easier access.

"Search em." Lucca said as he grabbed the gun from Tommy holster. One of his man coming to grab the gun from Lucca. Lucca now standing in front of Polly

"Especially don't trust this bitch." He said looking down at her and tearing open her blouse making the buttons fly off. Looking in her shirt for a gun. You spit at his shoe, making him turn to you.

"And this little bitch. She's a feisty one. Definitely should have killed her, along with John." Lucca said opening your jacket to grab you gun. You kept your composure as he did so. His men now checking all of you over as Lucca walk around the table.

"So." Lucca said holding a pen up in front of Tommy.

"Sign. Every fucking one of them." He said. You smiled a bit as Tommy didn't move as soon as he said that.

"You can sign them on your knees." He said as he pushed the papers off of the table. Tommy still not moving. That, set Lucca off, he pulled the table up and flipped it over.

"Get on your fucking knees, and sign!" Lucca said with a deep, angry tone. You couldn't hold back the smile that spread across your face.

"A friend of mine once said." Tommy said getting down on his knees.

"Big, fucks small." He finished his sentence.

"So I had to find someone bigger than you. Now, you may know there are two families in Brooklyn, who want to take over your monopoly on the import of liquor into New York." Tommy spoke up to Lucca now, knowing what he was talking about now.

"But if they move against you in New York, they'll start a war between the families." You spoke for the first time to Lucca.

"But if you were to die in a vendetta with some fucking bookmaker in Birmingham, they could take over your business without a war." Tommy said to him, seeing physically Lucca's face drop.

"We also contacted a businessman in Chicago. He's also interested in moving into the liquor business in New York. " You spoke more facts to Lucca.

"His name is Alphonse Capone." Tommy said up Lucca, instantly making him angry.

"You been talking to that fat fuck?" He asked.

"You see, all the blood relatives you brought with you from New York, they're all dead, Mr. Changretta." Tommy continued.

"And these men here, they work for money, for the highest bidder." Tommy said motioning to the men standing behind Lucca.

"They now have new orders." Tommy told him and Lucca catching on pretty quickly.

"Is that right?" He asked turning to the men behind him.

"Is that right?" He repeated towards them.

"And you, Matteo?" Lucca asked looking at his most trusted since he's been in England. Matteo not making eye contact with Lucca, looking at the floor.

"Hey. Very fucking." Lucca said turning to you and your family. But, reached into his coat pocket and grabbing out his gun Thomas being faster grabbed a crowbar from the ground and smacking Luccas arm so the gun flew out of his hand. Tommy grabbing ahold on Lucca's jacket, but Lucca pushing him back against the piping. Tommy giving Lucca a good head butt making him fall back and giving him a swift punch to the face. But Lucca found the crowbar and smacked Tommy in the stomach with it. Blocking the next swing, but Lucca getting a few good ones in. Tommy got ahold of Lucca, pushing him to the table where there were glass bottles and smashed his face into it. You looked over to the door that slowly opened. The wall blocking your view but quickly the person came in view. It was Arthur. Your eyes widened as you saw him. Looking over at Finn, who as just as surprised as you were. Tears began to form in your eyes as you just stood and watched. Tommy looking up at Arthur and pulled Lucca up making him stand. Polly, didn't look surprised. Arthur raised his hand that had a gun in it to point at Lucca. Tommy stood out of the way and Arthur took his shot at Lucca, right between the eyes.

"Tell your people in Chicago. That Michael Gray will sign the import license to New York. Three hundred barrels of English dry gin a month." Tommy spoke breaking you out of your trance state.

"Leave." Arthur spoke for the first time since walking in. The men filling out of the room.

"Tell your boss what you saw here to today. And tell him...." Arthur said trailing off.

"You don't fuck with the Peaky Blinders." Arthur said looking over at you and Finn now. You ran over to him and jumped into his arms.

"You aren't dead. You aren't fucking dead." You said softly into his neck.

"I'm not baby sister. I'm here." He said.

"You asshole! The both of you!" You said smacking him in the arms and looking at Tommy.

"Listen, We needed to use Arthurs death to win this war. Everyone couldn't know he was actually alive and possibly ruin it." Tommy said.

"Whatever." You said turning back to Arthur and hugging him.

Everyone was back at Tommy's house now celebrating that Arthur was still alive. Bonnie was back by your side. Now you were way more happy then you were before. Having your brother back and find new love with Bonnie.

[toomuchracket]

ok idk what universe or how the circumstances lead to this. but im having dad matty brainrot. maybe girlie is busy and matty has to watch the kids but hes meant to be getting a new tattoo (maybe hes supposed to go with the guys, which is why he cant cancel). but he has to bring the kiddos with him and while hes getting tattooed another artist or maybe even one of the guys doodles on kiddis arm so they can match their dad :(

fuck it, og dad!matty universe! it's the last couple of weeks of the summer holidays and you're mildly concerned about the fact your husband is planning on taking your 6 year old and 8 year old with him and the boys while they get new tattoos (maybe to celebrate an album anniversary or some shit), but when george comes to pick them up he reassures you like "it's fine! it's a nice day, we'll go into the shop one at a time, whoever's not in can just be at the park down the road with dyl and lena". a good idea in theory, and it works for a little bit while matty's playing football with his babies and giving them piggybacks and whatnot; when it's matty's turn to go in and get his tattoo, though, elena's (who's been a bit more shy and reserved lately - you think she might be a bit nervous to go back to school) little lip starts to wobble like she's going to cry, and she clings to his leg and will not let go even when adam's like "el! we'll go and get ice cream, yeah? your dad won't be long, you know that". matty has to crouch to her level like "i'll be twenty minutes, munchkin. four bluey episodes long. that's all! my big, brave girl, you'll be alright without me for that long, won't you?", and she shakes her little curly head quite vehemently - when the sniffles begin, matty just hugs her into him and softly shushes her like "alright, darling, you can come in with me. but you have to sit nice next to me, yeah? no running around in case you get hurt". so then obv dylan wants to come in, too, not because she's also upset but because she's curious about the tattoos "cos you and mum both have them but i don't know how you get them" lol; she drags ross in too, because that's bestie, and he sits with a kid on each knee and patiently explains to them what's going on while their dad gets another tattoo. the tattoo artists are really sweet - the guy doing matty's is like "oh! it's nice to finally meet the two of you, it was me who did the tattoos your mummy and daddy got when you were both born" (a.n. i have no idea what these look like actually), which impresses them a lot. but he doesn't impress them nearly as much as the other girl, who they say looks like a tattooed isabela madrigal (she laughs really hard at this and calls them adorable) and who lets them look through the sample book; they both pick out the ones they'll get when they're big enough (matty shakes his head at this, but he and ross giggle. how could they not?), and the girl gives them a couple of little temporary tattoo strips to "take home and get mum to help you put on. i think i would save them for parties, though" (matty thinks this is a genius suggestion, because he knows full well his daughters would have begged for them to be put on immediately otherwise lol). the doodling happens between dylan and elena themselves, i think - one of them gets hold of a pen and says "let me draw on you so you can match daddy?", and her sister is like "YEAH and then i can do it on you", while matty's half crying at how cute they are and half stressing about taking them home covered in pen lol. but yeah, the girls are good as gold, so good that their dad can't not treat them to an ice cream AND a tango ice blast to share afterwards, followed by another run around in the park to tire them out before it's time to go home and then pick up mummy from work. a lovely day <3

[absolutebl]

am i losing it or is "naked dining" genuinely good? like, i thought it would be a silly show about, well, dining in the nude but we actually learn a bit about different cuisines. plus, mahiro keeps hitting us with his (what's the opposite of xenophobic?) passion for providing produce to non-japanese citizens, which seems so special to me; how often do bls (japanese or otherwise) mention immigrants and their struggles in these homogeneous societies? yes, the "struggle" here is vegetable-related, which sounds silly (like the premise and everything else about the show) but i'll take it!!!! also, i am amazed how in episode 6 alone, they cleared up their background story, ichijo told mahiro about the dream where he kissed him (yea he called it "weird" and i hated that BUT he told him right away instead of being awkward for 3 episodes!!) AND mahiro came clean about having kissed him for real! do we hate the sleeping beauty trope kiss? yes we do. but i love that he admitted to it in the very next episode. AND that whole monologue of ichijo saying he wants to support mahiro in opening a restaurant and he wants to cook and eat with him forever and he feels so relieved and comfortable around him (which makes the whole naked eating thing obsolete) was so sincere, i am a whole clown because i literally shed a tear, like that's how emotionally overwhelmed i was with that whole scene. of course, then the heteronormativity kicks back in and he starts blabbing about wives and sons but 9/10 shows would've had the other character chuckle awkwardly and nod and have an internal crisis but mahiro is just like "yea no, i'm not like that" and idk i am losing it, maybe it's because my expectations were so low but this show positively surprised me for real! (you would think i would spend the morning of my birthday NOT writing a billion words about naked dining but since my birthday is cancelled this year, i am sitting home alone with my freshly torn ligaments, catching up on my shows, so here we are)

Naked Dining (Zenra Meshi) is messing with my damn head

or messing with all of us intentionally?

I AM SO CONFLICTED ABOUT THIS SHOW

I mean I think all your thoughts are totally valid but I still can't get into it. And is that my fault or its? and why does it keep challenging me so much? I *believe* the naked dining-ness is being used as an allegory for repressed homosexuality and I find that super weird but also this is Japan so what do I expect OF COURSE they are going to turn closeted gayness into a kind of kink but also WHAT? WHYYYYY? But also: aw, it's kinda cute and the the leads are sort of charming and it IS all about food but ALSO... is mahiro's passion for pressing non-Japanese food ALSO an allegory for coming out? like he wants to be openly gay, or he kind of is, but also he's doing this because he can't be openly with the person he loves, like "here YOU have some homosexual peanut sauce numnums, and YOU have some homosexual rutabaga numnums" and "I will basically be your husband-in-the-kitchen-cooking for your boss and everyone ELSE is figuring this out and YOU have some homosexual numnums" AND

I mean to say...

WHAT?

Or am I trying to elevate this show but really it's just super SILLY?

but then AGAIN why 12 episodes? 12

i mean to say

12

from japan?

about a dude who eats naked as stress relief?

i just....

GAH

this whole show is an epic:

oh japan, must you?

moment

[raleighcarreras]

it's all so incredibly loud

Part 1: if only i could touch the hem of your gown

Pairing(s): Wanda Maximoff x Black!fem!reader

Wrd Cnt: 2k

Rating: Mature

Parts: 2 , 3 , 4 , 5, 6 ,7

Warnings: Angst, cheating, did i mention angst, eventual smut, canon typical violence

Summary: The divorce was finalized months ago, and yet...Wanda can't get you out of her head. Not that she would ever try to. She knows she fucked up, she knows she has an uphill battle to fight to get you back, but she'll do anything. She'll do anything if it means getting to hold you in her arms again.

Notes: i know we've all read this type of fic 49054 times but, um, you haven't read this one in particular yet 🙄👉🏾👈🏾. Anyway, the song is its all so incredibly loud by glass animals. 18+ only as always.

"Whispers would deafen me now. You don't make a sound. Heartbreak was never so loud."

"Mommmm!"

You grumbled out something unintelligible. Stupidly assuming that would be enough for an 11 year old boy who was under the impression that he needed you.

"Mommy! Come here, please!!"

Why'd you let her con you into thinking more than one would be a good idea? You grumbled to yourself. There wasn't much you could do about it in hindsight. They were a two for one deal.

When Wanda had told you that she was pregnant with twins you had laughed in her face. Sure, you knew with your chosen method of pregnancy the odds of multiples were higher, but that didn't mean you had to accept it.

You honestly hadn't believed her until you had seen them both screaming their little lungs out in the nurses hands as they were cleaned.

That was 11 years ago.

1 year ago, you gave birth to your baby girl, Alexis. Yeah, she somehow managed to trick you into a third one too.

Slick words, soft touches, empty gestures.

"Mom! Hurry!"

You groaned into your pillow. Then threw the fluffy comforter from over your body. You checked the time on your phone and frowned.

You padded down the hallway to where you heard the boys call for you. They were in Alexis' room which was alarming. Maybe, if they had led with that you would have been on your way quicker.

You turned the corner to find your three beautiful children laying on their stomachs and staring at each other.

You leaned your shoulder on the doorway and rubbed the bridge of your nose, "What's wrong?"

Tommy looked up at you and smiled happily, "False alarm. We thought she was about to walk and didn't want you to miss it."

Billy had the wherewithal to look slightly more sheepish.

If they weren't so darn cute and also your children, you surely would have kicked them out ages ago.

"Thank you, babies."

You sat on the ground next to them, setting your youngest on your lap. She gurgled, probably ecstatic with all of the attention.

"Can I ask you guys a question?" You said softly, not wanting them to think they were in trouble.

They both nodded and continued to poke at their baby sister.

"Why aren't you at school right now?"

The boys started to pick at the purple rug they were strewn across, "Mamaforgottopickusup."

"What was that, Tommy?" You tried to keep your eye from twitching. Lest you scare the boys into thinking you were possessed.

"Mama forgot to pick us up." He shrugged as if it was no big deal. And to him, it probably wasn't. He didn't have to go to school if no one took him.

"Why didn't you wake me up and tell me earlier?"

Billy chewed the inside of his cheek, a habit he had picked up from you, "We didn't want to get Mama in trouble and you were super sleepy."

You took a deep breath before leaning over and cupping their cheeks softly, "I appreciate the gesture, but you do not have to protect your Mother. She is an adult and you are my baby boys. We protect you, not the other way around. If Wanda doesn't pick you up to take you to school, you come wake me up so I can take you."

They nodded solemnly.

"I'll be right back, watch your sister."

Tommy watched as you stood up and dug your phone out of your pocket, "Do we still have to go to school today?"

You couldn't have stopped your laugh even if you tried, "No. You don't have to. We can all watch a movie until your mom comes to get you."

You pretended not to see the triumphant fist bump the twins gave each other.

You closed the door partially behind yourself, walking back into your room and dialing your Ex-wife's number.

She picked up on the third ring.

"Wanda."

"Yes?"

"Where are the boys?"

There was a pause on the other end and you imagined she was checking the time.

"School?"

"Wrong. Try again."

Another pause. A curse. A jingling of keys.

"Shit. I'm so sorry, Y/N. Time got away from me-"

"Save it."

She sighed, "I'm on my way."

You nodded stiffly even though she couldn't see it, "Don't come too quickly, they're watching a movie. You know how Tommy gets about interruptions. You might as well finish whatever it is that caused your own children to slip your mind."

"Look, Y/N-"

You promptly hung up before she could finish her word vomit full of excuses. It would be a waste of time listening to her when you could spend your last moments with your kids before they went with Wanda for the weekend.

"What movie we watching, my little monsters?" You sat down on the couch inbetween your sons.

"A Goofy Movie!" The twins shouted in unison. You had to smile through a grimace. They had watched the movie so often you're pretty sure it's carved into the back of your eyelids.

"...Yay."

Maybe you should call Wanda back and tell her to come get them now.

Wanda looked through the rearview mirror for the 101001th time. Alexis was a year old now, but driving with her still made the woman nervous beyond belief.

"Mama...can I ask you a question?" Billy inquired from his newly coveted passenger seat.

"You can ask me a question any and every time you need to, Utenok."

He blushed at the nickname, "When are you coming back home? I-I know Mom is mad at you but going back and forth is getting annoying when you could just stay at home with us."

Wanda couldn't help but chuckle lightly at the last part of his statement. She completely agreed. She would love to just be back in her house with her children. Back in her bed with you.

"I don't know..."

"Mom misses you."

Wanda perked up at that information.

"How do you figure that?" God, she was pathetic. Using her children for information in regards to her adult problems. Using them for mistakes she brought on herself.

"We heard her talking to Aunt Nat about you." Tommy said from the back seat.

Wanda's fists gripped the wheel tighter, "What did she say?"

Billy shared a look with Tommy through the sideview mirror. They hadn't actually heard what you had said. Only bits and pieces, but what was a little white lie if it meant their family was whole again?

"She said that she's lonely...and the bed is cold." That was close enough to what you had said. They were going to leave out the part where their aunt suggested you get back on the dating scene and you hadn't outright objected to the idea.

"She whispers for you in her sleep." Tommy mumbled. He would often here you call out for Wanda when he was sneaking downstairs for snacks.

"Oh." Was all Wanda responded with.

"Mama?"

"Yes?" Wanda turned onto her street a little sharper than she would have liked.

"Why is Mommy mad at you? Shouldn't you just be able to say sorry and kiss her on the cheek. That's what we do when we mess up."

Fuck. She wished it was that easy. She had actually tried something along those lines months back. You had promptly slapped her across the face as a result.

It didn't hurt, but it damn sure surprised her.

In hindsight, maybe she should have gone for the cheek instead of your lips.

"Let's not-"

"You said we could ask anything." Tommy reminded her with that haughty air that he most definitely got from you.

"I didn't say I'd answer anything." She grumbled.

The twins only glared back at her with her own eyes. Which didn't really seem all that fair.

The two of you had talked about what to tell the boys when they finally asked. You had left it up to Wanda since the cause was her transgression. Wanda suspects you were leaving it up to her as some sort of punishment as well. You knew she wasn't going to say anything right away out of embarrassment, and until she told the boys it was just going to loom over her head.

But now, seemed as good a time as any. When they were stuck with her for the weekend and they couldn't escape after they decided they hated her like she hated herself.

"I...wasn't faithful." She breathed out softly.

"What does that mean?"

"I-shit-I did some grownup things with someone who wasn't your Mom and that was a really awful thing for me to do. Something so awful that a simple 'I'm sorry' won't fix it." Wanda pulled into the parking garage of her apartment building unceremoniously. She parked the car but didn't move to exit. Neither did the boys.

The boys sat silently, taking in the information. Wanda could see the tension playing across their faces. She could see as one of the twins took the news in stride the other did not. Three agonizing seconds later, Billy rushed out of the car red faced. Wanda wanted to bang her head into the steering wheel.

"Stay here with your sister, okay?"

Tommy only nodded.

Wanda rushed from the car in search of her son. She found him quickly. He was sitting behind a pillar with his hands covering his face.

"Go away."

Wanda ignored him and slowly sat on the damp pavement next to him.

"I know you're mad at me right now, but please don't run away from me like that ever again. Your mother would have my head if I came back with 2 munchins instead of 3."

"I'm not a munchin, Mama."

Wanda scoffed then scooped Billy onto her lap with a grunt of effort, "Sure, you're not...Do you wanna talk about it?"

"You're not supposed to have sex with people that aren't Mom."

Wanda's eye twitched. Were 11 year olds supposed to know about sex? Eh. That was the least of her problems at the moment.

"I know..."

"Then why'd you do it?" Billy whined and wiped a few tears from his cheeks. Wanda sighed and brought him closer to her chest.

"I don't know. I'm not very smart sometimes." And that was about as honest an answer Wanda could give. She genuinely had no idea why she decided to throw away 13 years of marriage for a woman whose name she couldn't even remember.

"You said we're not supposed to do things if we don't know why we're doing them."

"I need to start taking my own advice."

Billy nodded, "And you need to apologize to Mom a couple more times so you can come back home."

Wanda smiled tightly, "I don't think it'll be that easy, Utenok."

"Then keep trying anyway. Who cares if it's hard? Mommy still loves and misses you, and you love and miss Mommy. Just keep trying until it works."

"Have I ever told you how much I love you?"

Billy giggled as Wanda pressed kisses all over his cheek. Tommy had grown out of that 2 years prior, but she was pretty sure Billy would let her kiss and squeeze him until he got married.

"Lets get back to your siblings."

"Yeah! And then when can start operation trick mom into marrying you again!"

Oh to be a child. Wanda was sure whatever they came up with wouldn't work. But she was willing to try until her dying breath shall it cone to it.

[kitkatisweird7]

My TV Watchlist

Over the years, I have had a ridiculously long backlog with regards to the shows I have yet to watch. As the ultra nerd who is into all kinds of random stuff, this can be hard to keep track of. So I thought I'd log a few of them here on Tumblr and perhaps I'll discuss them as I go. It's not even a fraction of the backlog but rather shows I have decided to prioritise.

1

Star Trek: The Next Generation.

I have had Star Trek on the watchlist for quite some time. I did attempt The Original Series but I wasn't overly into it as an introduction to the franchise. I suspect I'll get more into it if and when I go back. But my dad has always raved about Star Trek. While I grew up on Star Wars, dad was into Star Trek from childhood up till now. So I've always been curious about the franchise. So I figured I'd check out the series that everyone seems to adore. Watching the first episode as I type, I'm quite liking it and have enjoyed the random episodes of the show I've seen on SyFy over the last couple of years.

2

Charmed.

Strictly speaking I have already started Charmed, about a year ago. I quite liked what I saw, but didn't get chance to fully get into it. The general premise is lovely and it's just a cute little show. It did, however, get me hooked on the song Torn in the short time I spent with it. 90s fantasy stuff that teens were into is generally just a delight. Not overly optimistic about later seasons as I know drama led to a cast change, but such is the way of things.

3

Supernatural.

I should know better than to mention this show here. I'm well aware of the opinions of people on this show and the culture surrounding it, my second favourite show and another show in the early 2010s. Whatever that was all about, I'm really not interested. What I'm into is the recontextualization of old tales. Myths and legends brought into the modern day with a decent cast. Will I get that with Supernatural? Who knows. But a friend of mine was really into the show so I'm gonna trust her judgement as she is now piling through Buffy, my favourite show of all time, following a recommendation from me on the night we met. So I'm gonna guess that we've got similar enough taste that I'm going to at least find the show pleasurable enough to watch. Whether I'll like it more or less than Shadowhunters, be that the books, the film or the show, remains to be seen.

4

Stargate SG-1.

Stargate is one weird show. I didn't even KNOW it was a show when I first came across a Stargate. See, in a Star Wars Jedi Academy mod there is a map called Stargate and I had initially assumed it to be a random creation of someone added because the aesthetics kind of fit. But as it happens that is not quite the case. Turns out it was a movie turned show with multiple spin offs. It seems to be the kind of thing many sci fi nerds get into. Similarly to Star Trek, I have actually seen some of this show. I tend to leave SyFy on at night and fall asleep watching Stargate so I've seen some weird stuff. The general premise of the show is appealing, what more can I say? I'm excited to that.

5

Teen Wolf.

If I'm being honest, I don't even know why I've bothered putting this show on the list. The person who spent years recommending it to me is no longer part of my life and I don't particularly trust their perspective on anything enough to sit down and watch several series of a show. But having said that, werewolves plus teenage life sounds rather appealing. Fantasy works best when put at odds with teenage life in my opinion. It's why Buffy the Vampire Slayer is my favourite show of all time. But the balance is vital and if this show doesn't have it right, then I may have some issues with it. But when I DO go into this show, I shall do so with an open mind. Regardless of where the idea to watch it originally came from all those years ago

6

Red Dwarf.

Lastly, we've got another one from my dad. He once gave me a USB with 6 episodes of the show on it which regrettably I never watched. Thankfully, I am British and it is on iPlayer. I've heard from various sources over the years how good this one is, as a Sci-Fi comedy. Really looking forward to diving into it for that reason. I may wind up doing this one in between another show once I finish watching Sherlock, which really should not have taken 8 years given the show is 4 series long. In any case, one good day with that show should knock it out and open up the secondary show slot given I'm down to the last 3 episodes. Red Dwarf will be a nice change of pace as most of the "new" stuff I watch atm is a lot more high energy given I'm running out of comedies that actually interest me.

Anyways, that's the 6 shows that I've currently got resting towards the top of the backlog. That doesn't necessarily mean things won't get queue jumped. I mean, Hunger Games jumped the queue so I could try to bond with someone so I'm not above bumping shows up for other reasons than actual interest but that's how they sit at the moment. And given Firefly was supposed to be next, around a year ago, I've pretty much proven I have absolutely no rules as to what goes where. As I have no idea if I even WILL watch Firefly any time soon. Another show I only have any perception of because of that Jedi Academy mod, given the presence of the Serenity in it. Likewise, Dollhouse found itself dropping from top priority to "meh, when I get back around to it".

[acrux-jr]

Hi. Okay, you can ignore this if you would like, but can I request a Mike Schmidt (Fnaf) x half deaf reader? Or even just deaf reader would be great :)) and the reader could be abby's babysitter or something?

Even if you decide to not do this, I hope you have a wonderful day/night <3

Hi luv! Thank you so much. i am so sorry that it took so long! School was kicking my butt but now that it's done with, I had time to write ! But here you go! If you have any notes pls lmk this is just a quick oneshot but if you want a part 2 or want me to add part feel free to message me!!

Title: Read My Lips

Word Count: 3k

Tags: fluff, oneshot, deaf reader!

As you saw the flyer on the wooden pole.

Babysitter needed

Please call xxx-xxx-xxxx

You felt a tap on your shoulder and you friend came into view as you turned around.

She gave you a quizzical look.

She spoke as she signed.

‘You interested?’

You shrugged, you signed yes and nodded your head. She shrugged as well.

‘Extra cash.’

She nodded along and agreed. You ripped the flap of paper off and the two of you walked the remaining way to the park.

As the two of you sat, she signed about the cute boy in her class. This was your last year of college here before transferring to Gallaudet. Your friend buzzed with excitement as she continued to sign about how cute he was and how they were partners for a lab. You smiled and gave a chuckle when she explained how he fell on her by “accident” and offered his hoodie to her.

‘You he wants you, like bad.’

‘I'm hoping for that.’

As you eat your picnic you text the number, couldn't hurt to try right?

‘Hello, I'm texting about the babysitting job.’

Not even a minute later there was a response.

‘Hi yes. It's from 6 pm to 3 am.’

Your eyes widened and your friend peaked over. You looked at her.

‘ Long time working *N/S* (name sign). You think you can do it?’

‘Yes.’ You nodded and signed o.k.

‘That's fine. Quick information though I am deaf.’

There was a pause in the response time. After 5 minutes you sighed, your friend gave a quick wave and you turned your attention to her.

‘No text?’

‘Yeah.’

She rolled her eyes. ‘Fuck them.’

You smiled and gave the chuckle sign. You left your phone to the side, opting to focus your attention on the food and your friends' plan on what to do next.

You got home at 5 when the sun started to set now. It was kind of nice the longer nights and the cold weather.

You felt the vibration of your phone.

‘We don't know any asl. If you're still up for it you could start today.’

You titled your head and thought for a quick second.

‘That's fine I can read lips well. Or we can write/text.’

‘Okay see you at 6, heres my address *_________*.’

It was 5:05 now and from what you can remember that house was reasonably close just to walk to. You went into the kitchen where your dad was.

‘I have new job 6 pm finish at 3 am.’

You're father's eyes widened.

‘Long time work. You got job why?’

‘Extra money before going to Gallaudet.’ He nodded.

‘Ok, I'll inform your mom.’

‘Thanks. I start tonight.’

‘Ok I'll tell her when she's finished grocery shopping.’

‘You make what?’

‘Lasagna.’

‘Nice. I'll eat, finish, then go to work.’

You grabbed the lasagna and cut out a medium size square and sat next to your dad. He was watching the movie Monster-In-Law. Your dad has always liked rom-cons for some reason. You watched Jennifer Lawrence as a waiter at a fancy upscale party and looked at the guy she thought was cute.

You looked at the time at it was 5:40 pm. You waved to get your dads attention.

‘Going to work.’

He nodded. ‘Text me when you get to work.’

You went to the room and grabbed a hoodie since it was starting to get colder. It was a quick 10 minute walk from your house. You gave a slight knock to the door and waited.

The door opened and a disheveled looking man with wide eyes.

He began to speak. “Hi sorry, Abby won't…” he stopped in realization, he held up a finger for 1, and rushed to get paper and a pen.

“Sorry I'm still getting ready Abby is being a pain. Give me 5 minutes and I'll come back out.”

You read the sloppy writing and nodded. You motioned you to come in and you did. There was a little girl on the floor drawing. She looked at you and gave a small smile. You returned it. You got a crayon and wrote something down.

‘Hi! My name is Abby’

‘Hi, my name it Y/N.’

‘Mike told me you were deef’

‘It's deaf sweetie and yes I am.’

Just as Abby was about to write more Mike came out of the room. He had a pen and paper.

‘This is my sister Abby. She already ate but there are snacks in the fridge. The gig is $ an hour. It's low for right now but I am going to get another job soon with better pay, just gotta pass the interview. Her bedtime is at 9:30 latest 10.’

You read through it quickly and nodded. ‘Okay got it. What is you name?’

Mike reddened from embarrassment. ‘Mike what is yours?’

‘Y/N.’

‘Okay I have to go. Call text me if anything happens or any questions you have.’

You nodded and watched as Mike gave his sister a hug and said "see you later.’ You turned away as Mike began to say to call if the babysitter does anything.

Abby rushed back next to you.

‘Can you teach me some signs?’

You gave a smile and nodded.

She quickly scribbbled something down. ‘You have a pretty smile :).’

You gave an another and chuckled. ‘Thank you Abby. Here this is your first sign: thank you.’

She read and smiled looking up at you in anticipation. You brought your palm up and your fingertips touching your chin, you brought it down and slightly out before your chest.

‘Thank you.’

Abby repeated the sign a couple of times before you were satisfied with it.

‘Let's start with the Alphabet.

A B C……”

You wrote that letter and would point to the ones you were about to sign. Abby soaked it all in. She was excited to learn ASL, you found it endearing. Time flew and you started to point at a random letter and Abby would give the sign. You signed names and places to get her familiar with it.

It was already 9:10 and Abby yawned.

‘You look tired. Let's get you ready for bed.’

Abby nodded, sadly, as she rubbed her eyes. She led you to her. You tucked her in. She momentarily forgot.

“Goodnight Y/N.”

She gave a smile and signed goodnight as her. She gave a tired smile and signed it too. You put her night lights on and closed the door.

You went to the living room and snooped around. Abby left her crayons and pencils out, there was a couple of chapter books by the TV, you assumed were Mike's.

A thought occurred to you. You pulled out your phone and texted Mike

‘Just put Abby to bed, she ate a snack apple and some cheez itz before bed too.’

‘Okay, thank you. You can sleep as well if you want. I'll be home around 3:30.’

‘Okay got it.’

The conversation stopped and you gravitated towards the books and picked up a random one.

You nodded off around 1 am. You felt a shake and your eyes fluttered open. You saw Mike and gave a wave. You were about to start signing but grabbed your phone.

‘Sorry I was reading and I guess I fell asleep.’

He pulled his phone and read the text before replying. ‘Don't worry I don't mind.’

Before you could respond, he messaged again. ‘You can stay the night if you want to. There's no car so Im assuming you took the bus.’

‘I walked. I live right down the street. I don't mind walking back.’

‘No please I would feel better if you stayed, it's freezing and dark as hell.’

You puffed your cheeks and debated. It wasn't too far of a walk but understood his worry, it was also like 3 am and cold as hell apparently. You glanced up at him and saw he was staring. He coughed and looked away. You blushed, well yes he was dropped dead hot even with his disheveled look, if anything that added to the charm.

You gave a sigh and nodded. ‘Okay let me tell my parents so they don't worry.’

‘Okay great. Let me get you a blanket and some pjs.’

You texted your parents the update, and waited. You ohone vibrated, and you look up and saw Mike standing.

‘They in my room across from Abby's. I'll wait here so you can change.’

You nodded and got him. You entered his room, closed and locked the door. You saw the pjs plaid bottom that was soft. You looked around as you changed and saw his room was fairly organized clutter on his night stand and a clutter of books by the bed. His room was a pretty green color and his sheets were dark gray. You saw that under there was a bigger hoodie for you and it was a lot thicker.

You immediately put it on and was met with a cinnamon bourbon smell. You assumed it was his body wash, or deodorant, or even cologne. It smelt nice.

You made your way out and this time you had to shake him. He ended up falling asleep on the couch for the couple of minutes you were changing.

After a couple shakes he woke up and yawned. He grabbed the phone.

‘Sorry. Alright you welcome to anything in the fridge for breakfast before you leave, just lock the door and text when you do.’

‘Okay got it, goodnight.’

‘Goodnight.’

He got up and you sat down. He gave a little wave bye and you smiled at him.

You couldn't see it but he blushed as he walked into his room, feeling slight butterflies in his stomach.

You nodded off, dream filled with you and Mike in his room. Coincidently Mike had the same dream setting but more focused on the bed part.

It was 9 am when you woke up, Abby was watching tv cuddle by you on the floor. You gently tapped her shoulder and she squealed and smiled.

‘Hi N/S.’

‘Hi Abby. Goodmorning.’

It clicked what that sign was and she signed it back. She gave you pencil and paper and her drawing clipboard.

‘I have to go, do you want me to cook you something before I go.’

Abby nodded shly and you got up from the kitchen, you scanned the fridge and saw there was eggs and bacon, also there was some green onions. Omelet and bacon it is.

You cooked as Abby watched TV, bugs bunny and daffy duck. You made 3 plates, one for you, one for Abby, and one for me. You set it down in front of her.

‘Thank you.’ You smiled and nodded.

You ate and watched the show with her. Once you were done you grabbed the paper. ‘Okay I have to go, I'll text your brother but you should wake him up soon.’ Abby nodded, and as you were about to leave you realized were still in his pajamas and you left your clothes in his room. Abby saw the hesitation.

‘Whats wrong?’

‘I left my clothes in youe brothers room.’

‘It's open, he leaves it unlocked for me to go in and wake him up.’

You nodded, and walked to his door. You gave a knock before entering. He was still asleep, on his stomach. You tiptoed around, carefully not to step on anything that would make noise. You looked around the end of the bed, you picked up his clothes and found yours right where you left them. You turned yo look at him and noticed he was on his back, also he was shirtless, and that there was a tent in his blanket.

You grew warm at the realization and quickly and quietly rushed out of his room. You went to the bathroom and changed. You messaged Mike there was food and you were headed out now.

You left after signing bye to Abby again. You walked home and went immediately back to bed, the tiredness hitting you mid walk was unbearable.

You woke up to you mom shaking you.

‘12:30, wake up.’

You waved her off and was met with another shake. You groaned and flipped over to get up right.

‘Both father and I, going out to meet up with friends til 3. I made sandwiches, yours in the fridge on the 3rd shelf.’

“Ok. See you later, love you.’

‘Love you.’

Your mom walked off, and layed in bed. Your dream coming back to you.

Flashes popped up, you, Abbys and Mike having a picnic, you and Mike on a date, then the images of you and Mike making it in his room. You immediately shot up and scrambled out of bed and out of your room. You went to the kitchen and got some water.

Great now you had a crush for the dude you were babysitting his little sister for. Perfect. What could possibly go wrong here? You grabbed your phone from your pocket and saw there was a message from Mike.

‘Hey thank you for the food that was sweet.’

‘Oh it was no problem :)’

‘Hey I got called in 3 to 10 would you mind coming over again? If not, it's okay we haven't even gone over the schedule and what not.’

‘That's fine I'll be over at 2: 30 then?’

‘Yea thank you.’

You opened the fridge and there was the sandwich, you grabbed it, a coke, and then picked up a bag of chips next to the fridge.

Time passed as you watched Ella Enchanted. Once the movie was finished you went to your room and got ready quickly. You texted your parents as you locked up that you had another shift and would be home around 10 or 11 tonight.

You got there exactly at 2:30 and knocked. Mike was there with his phone in hand and looking cute though that didn't even cross you mind at all. Mike smiled.

He opened the door fully and stepped to the side.

‘Thank you again. I appreciate it. When I get home we'll talk about the schedule and everything then?’

‘Yeah that's fine.’

‘Okay bye.’

‘Bye have a good day at work.’ Mike gave you a grin and wink which threw you off. He hurried and gave Abby a hug and left.

The day passed by as you taught Abby some more signs, and then you made her dinner and watched TV with her as you ate. The night ended with the two of you doodling on the floor. She had a bear, a bunny, a fox, and a chicken all holding hands. You vaguely remembered that old chain that shut down a while back. You shrugged it off as she must've loved those weird animatronics.

You put Abby to bed at 9:45. You watched the TV the rest of the time with the subtitles on for the cartoons. You saw the door open from the corner of your eye and saw Mike exhausted coming through the door. You wrote a quick question in if he wanted food and handed it to him. He gave a quick nod.

You went to the kitchen, and heated up the left dinner. You gave it to him and he gave thanks. You started to pick up Abby's paper and left them on the kitchen table with her pencils. You turned around and then bumped into Mike. Your head hit his mouth.

You blinked as the pain slowly faded. You signed sorry and Mike waved you off. It's okay.

You were still pretty close as Mike held his mouth and chin. You saw there was a little red still. You didn't notice he the deep breath he took to calm himself.

Can you read lips?

You nodded and titled your hand back and forth.

Your eyebrows furrowed as he let go of his chin.

You're very pretty.

You're shot up at him, and you blushed. He smiled. If you're free tomorrow I don't work, maybe you could teach me ASL while Abby's in school.

You found yourself nodding, and Mike winked at you and put his plate in the sink. You felt giddy for tomorrow.

You left in a rush, even though Mkke offered the couch again. You politely declined writing that you it was okay and your parents expected you. He waved and winked goodbye. You never expected him to be so ... coy? It was kind of hot.

You've dated, of course, but Mike was something refreshing. All of the people you dated were kind of nerdy and quiet, which you didn't mind, but the relationships didn't last long. While Mike was a secret book nerd, he was teasing and so fucking hot.

The next day rolled around, and at 10, you met him at the diner. You wrote down your order, and the teo of you sat in silence.