#but it’s coming out fantastic so far IMO

[alicelufenia]

All Dark Urge Barks

Patch 7 expanded on the point-and-click voice lines for Dark Urge (and also added them for voices that were lacking them, like Voice 8. Had to use a mod prior to patch 7 to hear those). From what I've seen they seem to also trigger more frequently than in the past? Not sure, but it feels more frequent.

Voice 1 - Joshua Wichard

Voice 2 - Lynsey Murrell

Voice 3 - Ken Nwosu

Voice 4 - Emerald O'Hanrahan

Voice 5 - Neil Roberts (not that Neil)

Voice 6 - Muki Zubis

Voice 7 - Pieter Lawman

Voice 8 - Tina Barnes (my personal favorite)

1 and 4 - I like the contrasts with these two; quiet and mostly whispering to themselves out of combat, screaming psychopaths in combat.

2 and 7 - at first I wasn't a fan as they're both very downplayed, but given Dark Urge's assassin background, there honestly should be choices for a more reserved and sneaky, less vocally homicidal maniac type of durge. It's the difference between "I'M COMING FOR YOU (threat)" and "im coming for you (promise)". Both their "Kill, kill, kill again." have that Luke Skywalker Smiling "oh boy here I go killing again" energy, and yeah we need examples of that in the voices.

3 and 6 - Nothing in particular stands out for me with these two. Not necessarily a bad thing, they could work with basically any kind of durge.

5 and 8 - Neil Roberts the voice of default Dark Urge, and Tina Barnes the voice of Alice. Okay not literally, as Alice is my oc, but I mean, voice 8 IS her as far as I'm concerned, so I was very excited to hear her Dark Urge lines, and wasn't disappointed. In my opinion these two are the best, hands down. I know they're not necessarily the most popular, but in my experience everyone who uses these voices, it's their favorite.

I especially love the contrast Tina makes between Tav and Dark Urge, it really helps creating the impression she's both Going Through It, and that Something occasionally just speaks for her. I'm loving it as resist durge, but it could be fantastic for embrace durge as well. And Neil's Hannibal Lector-like delivery is both entertaining and kinda sexy imo, plus if you haven't seen his bg3 streams, he has a TON of fun with reading every durge line with that strained unhinged tone.

[muchanmocha]

Round 7 (and beyond)

I never intended on releasing a prediction post bc Team Vivinos is capable of excellent plot twists and there wasn't enough to go on imo to really have any solid guesses. But the recently released teaser gave me enough confidence in my current theories to put this out there. (Apologies if it's incoherent bc I'm basically just reposting a discord spiel I gave to an unfortunate friend a while ago lol.)

In sum:

Luka will be the winner of season 50 but Till won't die.

Bonus half-crack prediction:

Luka will win against Till, but Till won't die and Hyuna crashes the party to win season 50.

I can't recall the source but I believe Team Vivinos has mentioned that we're entering the main plot/part 2 of the story. Everything in this post is formulated based on this premise.

The artbook synopsis also seems to back up the claim that a bigger plot is coming.

Luka wins

Fairly sure Luka will win because that's his role. He is the epitome of this system. He is the symbol of Alien Stage. He cannot fall this easily.

Him maintaining his position at the top means he and the segyein enter part 2 with a strong presence.

Alien Stage may be fractured — 2 current participants have escaped to the rebels alive — but the system is still standing. It's scandalous, sure, but they have a winner and they will eventually go on to have Season 51.

Till survives

Till won't die because that's just weak sauce writing, plot, and character and we know Team Vivinos isn't capable of weak sauce writing, plot, and character.

Fact of the matter is, if Till dies in the next round he and his personal story will forever be overshadowed by Ivan's.

The climax of Round 6, Ivan's narrative and ending, it was executed so goddamn well. It was compelling. It was incredible. We are still not over it. And so—

There is nothing Till can do in the space of one episode ending in his death that can overpower Ivan's momentum from the previous episode. (Ofc everything in this series was somehow packed into 4 minute spurts that leave us emotionally wrecked so I am fully prepared to eat my words)

If Till dies here, regardless of what he does on stage before it happens, Till will be reduced to "the character who dies of guilt and regret after being the subject of someone else's obsessive love and sacrifice." He'll end up a passive player in his own story.

But if Till survives:

Till from here on out

Imo it would be FAR more interesting to see where his feelings and relationship with Mizi develops and shifts from here because Ivan has effectively tainted his idea of love.

Why do I say this?

Well Till's love for Mizi is... very innocent, very pure, very "first love"y. It's all things naive and fantastical and shoujo manga heart-shaped bubbles.

Meanwhile Ivan's love for Till is dark and gritty. It's obsessive. It's all things murky and ugly (I mean it in the best of ways don't come at me with your pitchforks) — the complete opposite of Till's impression of love.

Which makes it all the more impactful when Ivan forces Till to come face to face (literally) with that deep, obssessive love in Round 6 with his last moments.

After this incredibly traumatic eye-opener — an intimate, violent look into a different kind of love — I don't think Till can look at Mizi the same way again. (No not because he does or should be obligated to return Ivan's feelings, and that's a hill I'll die on regardless of pitchforks. If Till develops feelings for Ivan it should be on his own terms. If Till falls out of love with Mizi that should also be on his own terms.)

Hyuna wins Season 50 (jk)

Look it'll be funny.

Luka facing off against Till and then Hyuna crash the party, stomps him (vocally), effectively wins Season 50, and then yeets with Till and Mizi — one over each shoulder, hauled like sandbags.

(In all seriousness tho, not a very high chance of happening. They clearly have a lot of issues to sort out that'll prob happen later in part 2.)

"Never come back again"

The whole reason why this post is up. The caption for the new promo art gives me more confidence in the theory that everyone leaves except Luka.

'Never come back again.' I feel like there's a good chance this is Luka saying or thinking this to Hyuna (and co). If indeed it is, there's a lot to unpack there.

Tl;dr

Hyuna and Mizi busts Till outta there, Luka is left utterly alone seated on the throne again, Sua and Ivan eventually come back wrong to wreck emotional havoc as zombie androids

[fruitedsnack]

I’m redrawing the last supper with Minecraft diaries characters rn and honestly? Work.

[nothorses]

youre the first person ive seen since biden drop out who seems genuinely positive abt it, everyone else ive seen is being rlly negative or making jokes and it scared me a lot.... can you explain, or link to another post or article, that explains why its good that he dropped out? i keep seeing everyone saying that biden didnt do anything, then that he did so many things, thrn stuff saying kamala is a bad choice to endorse then you sounded so positive abt her and im very confused ): i avoid politics a lot cuz i live w a very protrump dad and its so difficult to find accurate information that isnt seaped in memes and sarcasm and pessimism but you sounded very genuine! thanks for any help <3

I went into more depth over here! I also wanna share a couple of videos I've been getting these perspectives from, because these folks are a lot more educated on the topic than I am.

I first heard the perspective that Biden was woefully unlikely to win from Olayemi Ulurin, in this video. She has a kind of "I can't blame anyone for not voting" perspective that I do think I agree with, largely because she's coming at it with nuance: Biden is not a compelling candidate, he's not likely to win, it makes sense people don't wanna vote for him, and the Democrats need to get their shit together and pick someone else.

She also posted this video (below) that goes way more in-depth into the issue, and which I think reflects (and GREATLY expands and adds to) my personal stance on the "vote blue no matter who" thing: i.e., voting is ultimately about making the fight easier for activists who are working for real change. It's important for that reason, not because the person you vote for can be trusted to do anything helpful of their own volition.

If you're gonna watch any of the videos I link here, watch that one.

The other source I've looked to a lot recently is Some More News, which is where I initially heard a lot more detail on the "Biden should drop out oh god oh please it's our only hope" perspective.

First was their podcast episode immediately following the recent Biden/Trump debate, in which they delve (somewhat casually, but thoroughly) into why Biden's 2024 campaign was so fucking terrifying for everyone who needs a Democrat win:

They also get into more detail on the topic here, in another podcast episode:

Those two videos are great just for understanding this election and why Biden dropping out is very much the best thing that could have happened. That's basically the topic for the full length of both podcast videos (where Olayemi just kind of touches on that specific question, in comparison). If you just want more details on that question and only have the capacity for one of these, you could probably watch either podcast video (I personally have only watched part of the second one, and all of the first one).

I'd also recommend these two channels for political insight in general.

Olayemi is great because she comes at things from an explicitly activist perspective, and she has a huge personal background in very grounded, concrete political activism, especially as a black immigrant woman. She brings in a lot of other experts as well, often themselves marginalized political activists, which is just a fantastic way to be exposed to a really awesome diversity of knowledgeable perspectives without having to look very far on your own. She's also relentlessly hopeful- and grounded in that hope- which is so, so important and refreshing.

Some More News is a good supplementary to Olayemi, imo, just in that they have a good, upbeat (and again, very grounded) energy, and they cover a lot of very current political stuff in an easy-to-digest kind of way. I find both them and Olayemi really fun to watch, but the vibes are definitely different between the two, and they're good counterpoints to each other- plus they tend to cover different stuff, which just helps broaden your awareness of what's going on, again without needing to look super far.

I know this is a lot of information; hopefully I've made it possible to sift through for the piece you actually want to start with, though. If nothing else, I really encourage folks to check out Olayemi and see if any of her videos catch their eye. She's really fantastic, and her stuff scratches my "video to do laundry to" itch while also being, like, a really valuable watch overall.

Best of luck!!

[astarionsdarkconsort]

So about the "Hmmm" Acsended Apologist Neil dissaproval stream moment.

Hello yes, I'm the person that requested the Streamily autograph signing where I refered to myself as "The no. 1 Ascension Apologist" and I just found out people are talking/fighting about it so figured I'd say my piece here.

For me, the whole thing really wasn't That Deep? I submitted my request literally back in early September, before I even knew about any spawn/ascension drama. It has just taken this long to get it signed and by now the energy in the fandom/streams has really changed. I had requested, word for word "If you can add a "little love" or "my dark consort" before my name I'd like that! I'm the no. 1 Ascension Astarion Apologist. Fantastic voice work!" and now with the past two months of fandom drama and all that, I definitely would have phrased it differently. My friends were jokingly calling me "The No. 1 Ascension Astarion Apologist" and that had become my blog header, so I thought it was just a cute nod to that and the fact that I was requesting ascension-related voicelines. At the time I didn't know what sort of Context that would carry. I like the ascended ending, that's as far as it goes. I don't think it's the superior or correct ending, I totally understand and vibe with it being the more evil of the endings. It fits my Tav well, I thought it was fun. I'm definitely not like an Apologist in the way a lot of people have adapted the word in the fandom.

As for Neil's reaction, I'm not upset by it, which is something I saw was getting said? Like, it's Fine? Kind of funny imo. If anything, I thought he seemed really tired and I felt bad that the cast has all been working so much. He did a nice autograph and wrote what was requested and thanked me for the compliment of his work and we moved on with our lives. Yeah, it felt shitty to see the kind of comments that were coming in, but that was mostly due to me being embarrassed by what I had written and forgotten I had written months ago.

I just feel like this blew up on both sides of the fandom/argument so to speak and I kind of got blindsided by seeing it talked about on other blogs not in a very good light and just wanted to say my feelings on the matter, as I'm the "no. 1 ascended Astarion apologist" that started the whole thing.

[miumura]

( 📍 ) UGLY CHRISTMAS SWEATERS — BEOMGYU

[ DAY SIX ] of the advent calendar !

( 📍 ) SYNOPSIS . convincing your boyfriend to wear ugly christmas sweaters with you might not be that hard after all..

( ᥫ᭡ ) PAIRING . bf!beomgyu x gn!reader

( 📍 ) GENRE . fluff ~~ WORD COUNT 0.5K+ ( 545 )

( ᥫ᭡ ) WARNINGS . gyu got a little attitude (sassy men) BUT its tolerable .. imo .. other than that, nothing else ?

( 📍 ) NOTE . i heart beomgyu 😊🤍

“You’re telling me that we—no, I’m gonna be wearing that?” Beomgyu gingerly lifts one of the sweaters, holding it as if it were a bag of 2 weeks old garbage. “For our friend’s Christmas party?” The clash of colors and patterns really confused him; it seems like the designer operated on a whim.

"Come on, it’s not even bad! The theme was ugly Christmas sweaters, and I picked out the best onesI think they're cute," you retorted, defending the sweaters you'd ordered weeks ago.

"This is far from cute! Your taste in fashion must be questionable," he scoffs, nonchalantly returning the sweaters to their initial resting place on the chair.

"I've practically styled your entire wardrobe, and you've received so many compliments because of me!" you argue.

"Alright, but your sweater choices are still terrible!" Beomgyu counters.

Ignoring his protests, you insistently hold the sweater in front of him, trying to picture the look despite his puzzled expression.

“Not in a million years will you catch me wearing that,” Beomgyu declares, hands up in protest.

But, you didn’t care whatsoever as your determination knows no bounds. “Stop moving, you're making this harder.”

“What—” he starts, but you're already on a mission, determined to make him at least consider the sweater.

“It does suit you.”

“Thanks for the compliment, but you can't just say that by imagining how I'd look in it!”

“Why don't you try it on?” You extended your hand, catching him off guard. His reaction was too slow, and you ended up tossing it at him. “I'll wait.”

Beomgyu sighed, unfolding the sweater and eyeing it with skepticism. “Fine, but don't get your hopes up.”

As he struggled to put it on, you couldn't help but laugh at the sight. The vibrant colors clashed with his usual style, making it even more amusing.

“Ta-da! Happy now?” Beomgyu struck a pose, a mockingly exaggerated smile on his face.

You chuckled, "Look! It doesn't even look that bad! You can totally pull it off."

Rolling his eyes, Beomgyu played along, "Sure, sure. It looks fantastic on me. Just a bunch of silly trees and tiny elves on this sweater with squiggly lines—seriously, what were you thinking when you added this to the cart?"

You shrugged, unfazed by his words. Beomgyu often exaggerated things, and you were accustomed to it. “I expect you to stick with this—we've got just an hour until the party.”

“But can’t we switch—” His complaining tone faded as you rushed down the stairs with the matching sweater in your hand. Quickly draping it over your white shirt, you settled on the couch in the living room. As you scrolled on your phone to pass the time, you later heard shuffling in the background.

“Ready to go?” you looked up, seeing your boyfriend in the sweater you bought—he hadn’t changed it. You gave him a big smile, rising from your seat.

“Looking good there, Choi.”

“Keep it up and I’ll run up the stairs to change,” he teased, soon linking arms with you as you headed towards the door.

“Honestly, though, I don’t think I look too shabby in this,” he asserted, eliciting a giggle from you.

“What can I say? I have an eye for what works.”

“Maybe you're onto something.”

SEND AN ASK / COMMENT TO BE ADDED!

TXT PERM TAGLIST — @flwoie @haruavrse @bearseulgs @ilovewonyo @bubblytaetae @ineedaherosavemeenow @ml8dy @wonioml @xiaoderrrr @neozon3nha @ja4hyvn @thia-aep @vampcharxter @sleepymoon27

[quinloki]

Hi Quin <3

I may or may not have gone through your entire catalog haha (^///^) Thank you for feeding us all so well ☆ Such stunning works!!!!! (シ_ _ )シ

I was wondering, I find that I keep on reading the same people a lot. Have you discovered some cool new people to read from recently? any great recs? stuff you keep coming back to?

Anyways, you're awesome!! And I can't wait to read what you come up with next!!!!!

=O Sideblogs and everything?

...

Σ(っ °Д °;)っ

(*/ω＼*)

Goodness. ❤️I'm glad you enjoyed my stuff enough to read all that. I'm a terribly wordy ^^;

Ah! But hmmm... I do tend to read from many of the same folks, especially since I ended up surrounded by impressive writers.

But let's do this:

@swampstew - if you follow me, you know her. I cannot fathom otherwise, and if you don't, start here.

this is @icy-spicy's master list - I'd have that cold shower ready before you start, but there's more than One Piece there.

@mydisenchantedeulogy writes for a lot of fandoms, her words are so good I'm a fan of her stories without even having seen the universes they come from.

@un-shit-yourself is a long time real life friend, and a fantastic writer. Mostly Dragon Age, but the writing pulls you in. We chat, but we don't usually cross post, so you probably don't know about this one even if you do follow me.

@zoros-sheath - if you haven't read Magnets, start there, otherwise go hog wild. I can't imagine you're going to find anything bad.

@standfucker - whew, I look - Zen makes me wonder why I even write because what she writes is just too goddamn hot. Y'all don't need me, you got her. (I say this in jest, I'm going nowhere I promise) White Out and Rotation are two of my favorites, but Stowing Away to Save Yourself is something I specifically requested and gods was I served well.

@writing-yarn-goblin and @lyndsyh24 and @theaceofflamesposts are here, but you're more likely to enjoy the first two on Wattpad and the last on Ao3. Lyn's getting more active here, but her library is full of good stuff - fluffier than my usual work, but just as good imo. Lyn is one of the biggest reasons y'all get to deal with me at all. She was a saint when I stumbled into Wattpad.

I love @heyitsdoe and @/bas-writes stuff - they are both phenomenal writers. Bas has shifted away from OP a little and is more into JJK, but if you're looking for solid fic to read, then you will find tons there and I promise you'll enjoy it =3 Doe is super sweet and her writing is always a full meal, I've commissioned her and it was far and away worth every penny.

Honestly, I'd really recommend checking out my Following page. I leave it public, but everyone on it is either a friend, a writer, an artist, or some combination of all three.

I could go on in this post for like 5,000 more words and not hit everyone who has delighted me. @cyborg-franky @coza-main @lerya-fanfic @leakyweep @leftsidebonfire -- I'm going to hit a damn tag limit again.

@thus-spoke-lo is a little on the darker side, but gods alive I love her work, and I could read it for hours if I had the hours to spare.

@vizkopa writes in a way that helped me loosen up and write more how I wanted to, so thank her for that, and enjoy what she's got - mostly on Wattpad I believe? I know that's where I've read it.

Seriously, just peruse my followers, if you need something new.

But know that like me, they're 18+ and that's a boundary for their comfort as much as anything else. So don't break that.

[existentialcrisis-24-7]

Hi! What are your opinions on the leaks of the new season of Winx? Did you like the animation or the costumes?

My feelings on the new leaks are mixed.

On one hand, I'm a bit iffy on some of the designs (*cough* Stella *cough*), but on the other hand, I see where they were going with it and I think most of them will grow on me. The transformations I'm not hugely fond of, especially since Rainbow is leaning towards full reboot, so these being the starter transformations just doesn't sit right with me. They feel a bit busy while also being a bit lacking in personality (except Musa, who always get the best transformations and now is no exception). And the wings, while unique compared to the past few we've got, they all feel like the same shape. They are far more personalised, though, which I do like.

I am hard side-eyeing the fact that Musa seems to be lacking monolids in the final design. They could include that in the concept art, but not the actual show??

As for the animation, I think they're doing a pretty good job for the medium! I prefer 2D over 3D, especially for winx, but I understand why they made the decision, and I think they're making the best of it. I have a small feeling that the transformations will be a little lacklustre, but that tends to be a given in 3D if it's not a million dollar Disney movie. Honestly, as long as the story is good, the animation doesn't have to be amazing. Flora's transformation looks well-done for what we've seen.

Things I'm very excited about, though, are 1. the voice-acting, and 2. the new Alfea design.

The voices they used in the teaser are, imo, amazing choices! They sound, to me, like a good mix between the cinelume dub and the 4kids dub, which not only adds to the familiarity but also, the og voices were well cast and reflected the personalities in a way these new voices seem to do. Special mention to Flora's VA sounding Hispanic to reflect her being coded as Latina. Also, Tecna's made me laugh because she sounds like every emo character ever, and the contrast between her original personality and the emo voice is hilarious. Not bad, but certainly strange.

As for the new Alfea, I love it. It looks fantastic! It certainly sets a precedent for the environments we'll see throughout the show, and I really hope they live up to it. The classrooms look fabulous and the individual rooms we've seen (Wizgiz, Palladium, Faragonda, the dorm common area, the library) are all detailed in the best way. They have so much personality and the architecture is stunning. Even if the show ends up bad, if the scenery is even half as good as the concept art, I'll be happy.

Overall, I have my gripes, but I knew from the first announcement that I would. Rainbow can't please everyone, and even if they're doing a lot to please the older fans, it has to still be able to draw in a new audience. This reboot is a huge gamble for them, so I'll remain cautiously optimistic and try to not bash on it before it comes out.

[bikananjarrus]

okay!!!!!!!! so!!!! the acolyte ep5 thoughts!!

below a cut this time, because MAJOR spoiler warning!

where to start, where to start. oh yeah. HOW COULD THEY DO THAT TO MY GIRL JECKI????? TO YORD???? like jecki was bad enough, but then YORD TOO???? ALL OF THEM???? 😭😭😭😭😭

okay, but actually trying to break down some of my thoughts (all based off just the first watch; my opinions may change as the episode marinates a little longer).

the good stuff:

the hand-to-hand combat remains REALLY strong in this show. mae and jecki's fight was fantastic. it was fast, and it was great seeing the differences between this and mae's fights with sol and indara. sol and indara are much more experienced, so they're moving around mae, she's barely landing a blow. jecki and mae are both younger, less experienced, so seeing a scrappier fight that matched their similar sizes and speeds was really great.

i was really eager to see the lightsaber v lightsaber choreography and overall it did NOT disappoint!!!! i will have to rewatch, but i feel pretty good saying this is definitely some of the fastest, and, imo, some of the BEST lightsaber fighting we've seen in a long, long time in live action. the initial fight with sol vs qimir cut with jecki and mae's brawl wasn't the best choice, made both fights feel a little stunted. but once we focused on just the lightsaber fighting, it flowed amazingly.

jecki fighting with two sabers was SO fucking incredible. using her size to her advantage was really well done, because she was fucking FAST. it was exhilarating watching her fight, and i was definitely on the edge of my seat when she was fighting qimir solo. so excellent job on them ramping up the tension for that

qimir's reveal: not surprising. I was still pretty 50/50 on whether he would be a red herring or not, but i'm not disappointed that he turned out to be the master! manny was really great in this episode! a little creepy, but very much in control of what he's doing. eager to see where we go with him!

mae's line about the jedi turning osha against her, almost word for word what anakin says in rots. i love a parallel <3

sol's line that was like "what kind of master doesn't look his apprentice in the face?" and qimir's response was "you tell me" VERY GOOD. very curious to see what sol's been hiding. especially bc qimir also said "don't you recognize me" and sol said qimir felt familiar.

the not so good:

as mentioned above, i thought cutting together sol and qimir's initial fight with mae and jecki's brawl was a little choppy. you couldn't quite get into either fight at first. but luckily the fight pacing all smoothed out pretty quick with the rest of the fighting.

mae and osha's face to face scene at the end wasn't the most believable for me. amandla is a fantastic actor, but i can imagine it's still hard playing across from yourself. and it just felt like there was a little something missing from that encounter for me, as far as the emotion of it.

the BIG stuff (aka everybody died!):

i was definitely expecting there to be some casualties this episode, namely from the side jedi characters, who i don't think were named. they were pretty clearly there to be cannon fodder, which they were.

i went into this episode worried for sol, because it's never a good sign when a master says something along the lines of "we'll talk later" because later never comes lol. but turns out! he was the safest dude here!

i was not real worried about osha and mae, because the story is revolving around them, and there's still too much unresolved with their past and relationship with each other, that i figured they would both be fine.

JECKI AND YORD HOWEVER.

look. jecki was bad enough. and then to kill yord too?????

on one hand: i respect it. it sets qimir up as a very formidable antagonist. the stakes have been RAISED. and in a show that's about mystery and intrigue, high stakes aren't a bad thing.

my concern with setting qimir up as this formidable is that there are 3 episodes left. if this is only supposed to be a one season show (tho i hope not), or if they are planning on having it be a complete arc, and defeating qimir, 3 episodes doesn't seem like very much time to get on his level to defeat him. i could very much be proven wrong with this! and we've still got vernestra in our back pocket who is very experienced and has fought some big bads in her time.

but regardless, so so here for him as the antagonist.

on the other hand: i am really really bummed about jecki and yord. like i said, it was bad enough about jecki because i REALLY liked her, and her connection with osha was really nice to see (shoutout to dafne and amandla for their great chemistry). like when i say that SHOOK ME TO MY CORE. (admittedly, the 3 hole punch with the double red lightsabers was pretty sick, but STILL). like jaw dropped and stayed there lol.

and so i thought: well. maybe that means yord will be okay. like, alongside osha and sol, jecki and yord were the other two of the core four. killing one of the core four is pretty big. WELL THEY HAPPILY PROVED ME WRONG.

again: i respect the decision to kill a bunch of characters to raise the stakes and show off your antagonist.

i'm just curious to see if the rest of the characters will be able to hold up without jecki and yord. i think they will! sol and osha's and mae and osha's relationship have been the heart of the show from the start, so i trust that the story will continue to show that. i'm just a little unsure how it will feel going forward without the prominent second tier main characters that we had in jecki and yord. if that makes sense?

(also really bummed that there will be no more jecki lightsaber fights because genuinely, her fighting style was breathtaking to watch! and i wanted ten more hours of it!!)

so i'm really really fucking sad about jecki and yord. but i am going to wait to see the whole show to really decide how i feel about how their deaths fit the story, and if their deaths actually added anything. bc their own story arcs being cut off so abruptly should mean something.

okay, i think i touched on everything i wanted to! i think i'm mostly still in shock! we will likely be moving onto denial very soon lol. but i'm still excited to see the rest of the show, and i really hope we get more than just one season.

[doubleodonut]

i really did want to like this season going in but ugh. like hearing oh it's written by burnie directed by matt, the seasons i don't like got entirely retconned (petty. i know. no shade to people who like the shisno trilogy i was just eh on it), clearly meant to be a return to reconstruction-era format in some way. all sounds fantastic. unfortunately

basically everything from sarge's death onward felt entirely un-earned and un-genuine. this is probably my biggest sticking point with it all. rvb has been extremely good at making these incredibly silly characters do emotional moments well in a way that feels true to the characters- the finale to season 13, for example, is one of the best bits in the show, imo. and that's a really delicate balance! because fundamentally, these characters are built on comedy, and often being mean to each other, and making genuine interpersonal moments between them can be a really tricky business. the emotional moments in restoration, for me, leaned way too far into the sappy side and as such felt entirely un-genuine, starting with sarge's speech and continuing for the .. most of the rest of it.

now, some other bits would have felt really good if it weren't for their surrounding stuff, if that makes sense? like. after sarge's death, simmons becoming first-in-command and immediately discharging grif. that's really good. that's REALLY GOOD it feels true to their characters and earnest in a way they would be. but the surrounding problems that i mentioned already made it land a looot softer than it should have.

the whole retcon thing was...really unclear, frankly. like, it was sort-of-stated in the trailer, but when the season opened with dylan, as well as the reveal of wash in the hospital, carolina doc and donut being gone, i'd figured that oh, the retcon implied in the trailer HADN'T actually happened, church's simulations just included the stuff that happened. (and also, you should be able to tell what's going on in a piece of media without having watched the trailers..) but no, the retcon was apparently real, this season took place directly after the chorus trilogy. just not communicated well.

where were carolina and donut. like, we know doc'd died but, like. where are those two. donut just ISN'T there (only just mentioned by dr. grey at one point and simmons at another), and carolina is. missing, for some reason, until she's needed for the final fight. given carolina's absence for most of the thing, her moments with tex also felt very underbaked.

the "doc's been dead the whole time!" twist was stupid i'm sorry. i feel like it could have been done well if the rest of the season was better but as it is it just feels cliche. i think i get what they were going for- we never saw the final climactic fight of season 13 because church never saw it, now coming back after however-many-months, we as the audience weren't filled in on how that battle happened, making a surprise "actually, x died!" thing narratively interesting. it just wasn't done well, imo

the meta as a villain was .. just strange as it was played out. the idea of meta!tucker? tucker stuck in his own body while being puppeted by the epsilon-fragments-as-meta? or even, like what epsilon thought was going on, tucker straight up heel-turn? that fucking rules. i am SO into that idea. but i really didn't like how it was done. epsilon-meta was just..goofy. their lines all sounded like a cartoon villain. so much threatening and so much..talking? like, compare to alpha-meta- silent save for the interconnected whispers of the ai, focused, driven, not having long protracted villain speeches. not that villain monologues are BAD, they just don't feel right for the fucking meta! it made them as a villain feel weird and, again, pretty cliche. also, like, the bit where they held the sword to simmons' face and started monologuing threateningly at him? just didn't fit with what we know about the meta at all. the meta would have fucking stabbed him without hesitation that was some felix-type shit

(now, maybe this was the influence of the "host" between either version of the meta. like, maine is silent, so maine-meta is silent. tucker is super chatty, therefore so is tucker-meta. that would have worked if a) tucker was actually the meta rather than just A Meat Puppet and b) the dialogue actually had any resemblance to how tucker talks rather than Stock Villain)

jumping off the topic of epsilon/tucker!meta. tucker was so stiffed this season. the meta could have been piloting a robot body and it would have made 0 difference. the torture scene didn't land and had basically no actual purpose. as others have pointed out, an ACTUAL villain!tucker could have been pretty fucking cool if done right, and would have been a really interesting twist on the meta. i think meat-puppet-tucker could also have been done interestingly, if we saw more of tucker and his conflicts with the ai, or, like, even what happened leading up to the meta Happening after the end of s13. but tucker, one of the imo most interesting and best characters in the entire show, just had almost no influence, purpose, no character development, nothing.

perhaps most damningly of all, it just. wasn't funny. there were a couple little jokes here and there that got a laugh out of me, but there was no sustained comedic energy throughout the thing, and a lot of the bits (church's youtube exposition, the zoom bit) dragged on for WAY too long. i cant believe they did the "ehh.......it's right behind me isn't it" bit entirely straight.

overall, i felt this season is overall underbaked. there were some very cool concepts, bits, and ideas, but all together just did not work.

[hedgehog-moss]

do you ever read scifi or fantasy in french? i am trying to read more sff that was originally published not in english but it's not easy to find 💀

I do! It’s not my favourite genre but one of my friends loves it so I read a bunch of SFF books every year ahead of her birthday to try and find a gift for her. I’m glad I do this because it’s allowed me to discover N.K. Jemisin’s Broken Earth trilogy which was amazing, and I don’t know if I would have picked it up otherwise!

Here are some French-language authors I’ve read or plan to read (unfortunately English translations are few and far between :( I bolded the names for which I found English translations—if you read in another language you can check out the non-bolded authors, there are often translations available in other languages long before English ones)

When it comes to classics you've got Pierre Boulle (Planet of the Apes of course; also Garden on the Moon, which is (deservedly imo) less known), Jacques Spitz (La Guerre des mouches—it was translated but not into English), René Barjavel (The Ice People, Ravage, Future Times Three—I read them a long time ago but I remember them as very sexist even by French classic standards), Bernard Lenteric (La nuit des enfants rois), Alain Damasio (La Horde du Contrevent—maybe too recent to be a classic but it’s everywhere. I was surprised to find no English translation!), Bernard Werber (I feel like he rehashes the same 3 ideas again and again but some of his earlier stuff was fun), Alexandre Arnoux (Le règne du bonheur), Jules Verne of course, Stefan Wul (Oms en série which was adapted into the film La Planète sauvage—Fantastic Planet in English. I like the film better!) And some I haven’t read: Georges-Jean Arnaud, Serge Brussolo (I liked his Peggy Sue series when I was in middle school but it spooked me so much I haven’t dared to pick up any of his SFF for adults, like Les semeurs d’abîmes), Élisabeth Vonarburg.

Newer authors: Estelle Faye (L’arpenteuse de rêves, Un éclat de givre—I tend to like her worldbuilding more than her plots); Sandrine Collette (The Forests—if you count speculative fiction as SFF) (I didn’t like it at all personally but others might), Jean-Philippe Jaworski (I really liked Janua Vera; didn't like Gagner la guerre but it was mainly because I have a low tolerance for rape scenes in fantasy books) (he’s about to be translated into English according to his editor), Stéphane Beauverger (Le déchronologue)

More authors I haven't yet read: Pierre Pevel (The Cardinal's Blades—I've been told it's "17th century Paris with dragons"), Romain Lucazeau (Latium), Laurent Genefort (Lum’en), Christian Charrière (La forêt d’Iscambe), Roland Wagner (La saison de la sorcière), Aurélie Wellenstein (Mers Mortes—I love the synopsis for this one), Magali Villeneuve (La dernière Terre, trilogy)

And non-French, non-anglo SFF authors: Maryam Petrosyan (my review of the Gray House last year was that I understood maybe 1/3 of it but I liked it anyway!), Hao Jingfang (haven’t read her yet), Arkady & Boris Strugatsky (idem), Jaroslav Melnik (I’ve read Espace lointain (originally Далекий простір) but didn’t like it much), Andreas Eschbach (The Carpet Makers), Walter Moers (I read The City of Dreaming Books back when I was still learning German and found it very charming), Liu Cixin (I loved The Three-Body Problem but The Dark Forest was so sexist it made me not want to pick up the third volume), Lola Robles (El informe Monteverde, translated as Memoirs of an Interstellar Linguist), Elaine Vilar Madruga (Fragmentos de la Tierra Rota), Tatiana Tolstaya (The Slynx), Karin Tidbeck (Amatka), Emmi Itäranta (Memory of Water, The Moonday Letters), Angélica Gorodischer (I’ve read Kalpa Imperial and found it only so-so but it always takes me a while to warm up to characters or a setting so I struggle with short story collections. I’ll still give Trafalgar a try) Also my favourite fantasy book as a kid was Michael Ende’s Neverending Story, I was obsessed with it. I re-read it in the original German a few years ago and it was still great.

[literary-illuminati]

2024 Book Review #13 – Victory City by Salman Rushdie

One of my goals for the year is to read more proper literature (here defined as fiction I can mention reading to my mother without getting judged for it). I’ve never read anything of Rushdie’s before, but I did remember his name in the news recently due to the whole attempted-murder thing and, happily, my library actually had a copy of his newest work. So, picked this up and read it sight unseen!

The book follows one Pampa Kampana – a nine-year-old girl who, in the 14th century, witnesses her city destroyed, and her mother burning herself alive. She is then inhabited and blessed by a goddess, blessed/cursed with a lifespan measured in centuries and the destiny of raising an empire up and seeing it fall before she dies.

The narrative is framed as a modern adaptation/summary of the epic poem recounting her life Pampa completes before finally dying, finally discovered and translated after being forgotten in the ruins of te imperial capital for centuries. The story is largely a story of this miraculous, semi-utopian empire, as told Pampa’s eyes (and with a lengthy digression during the years she spends in exile).

This is a story that exists somewhere in the muddy middle ground between historical low fantasy and magical realism – it’s in some sense an alternate history of the Vijayanagara Empire, and replete with historical trivia and references, but is quite clear from the outset that accuracy is not really something the book cares about. Instead, the book’s Vijayanagara – always written as Bisnaga, as it was translated by a historical Portuguese chronicler whose also a minor character in the story, to prevent confusion – is basically allegory and morality tale with a light coating of history for flavour.

Not that I can really begrudge Rushdie for his strident politics (as far as I can tell I basically agree with him on all of it), but this really does feel like one of those old fantastical utopias, or a political treatise that gets past the censors by pretending to be the history of a foreign country, more than it does a novel. Which could definitely work! But in this case really didn’t, at least for me. There’s enough time spent on characterization and character drama to eat up pages, but not enough for it to ever feel like they’re people and not just marionettes acting out a show. I suppose the best way to get across the reading experience is that I was reading a proper 500 page history book at the same time as I read this, and this felt like the bigger slog by far.

Though part of that might just be disappointed expectations that I really had no right to have in the first place? As I said, I had Rushdie slotted in my head as a literary author, but really I don’t know nearly enough about him or his work to justify that. So I came to this expecting to be at least a bit wowed and bedazzled by the artistry and beautiful prose on display – and like, eh? Not bad, to be sure, the narrative voice and the framing device are both fun and fairly well done. But having read it there’s really not a single passage or sequence I can say has stuck with me.

The comparison that comes to mind is Kalpa Imperial by Angélica Gorodischer, which is also a book-length epic history of a fantastical empire that never was which laughs at all conventional wisdom about pacing, characterization and plot (and which also has been shelved as magical realism for what are basically reasons genre snobbery imo). It’s been a few years since I read it, but from what I recall that agreed with me far more. Maybe just because it abandoned the conceit of a single protagonist and family melodrama entirely, or maybe because it had a bit more subtle in its social commentary (or maybe it was just better written on a sentence-to-sentence level).

Though I should say, there’s every possibility I’m being a bit harsher on this than it entirely deserves – it’s an entirely competent book! The politics are blatant but like a) they’re politics I agree with and b) they’re nowhere near the most blatant or forced-feeling inclusion of progressive politics in fiction I’ve seen recently. However, this is also a piece of writing that’s among other things very clearly and directly about how important and sublime and world-changing the art of writing is. Which is like a movie about making it in showbuisness, or a musical about how great singing is. Automatic deduction of a full letter grade.

[rushingheadlong]

Today is the 30th anniversary of Brian’s concert at the Palace Theater in New Haven, CT, USA. And since this is my favorite solo show Brian has ever done, I wanted to finally put together a proper post about the concert and why I love it so much.

First, a bit of background about the tour in general… For about 40% of the shows on the tour, the Brian May Band was not the main act at all. From late February to early July 1993 Brian was touring almost exclusively in support of Guns’n’Roses; they had some shows during this time where they were the headlining band but those were (generally) few and far between. It wasn’t until October 1993 that Brian set out on a tour that was exclusively his, with the Brian May Band as the only headliner and with no other support bands joining them.

It’s also important to remember that nearly everything about solo touring was entirely new to Brian, and while he can look back on it all with fondness now that ‘newness’ did cause legitimate issues during the tour itself. One of the biggest recurring problems was the new wireless system they were using for the Red Special.

(Brian, sans curly lead, at Brixton Academy)

The lack of cable meant that Brian had the freedom to move around that he needed as a frontman, but it also meant that they were dealing with constant signal issues and interference. And by “they” I mean Brian and a temporary guitar tech, because this tour took place after Jobby left but before Pete Malandrone came along.

So, with that out of the way… Why is this my favorite Back to the Light concert?

Well for one thing, it’s the best quality bootleg we have from the tour. Really the only video that’s in better quality is the professionally-filmed Brixton Academy show, and that one was edited for release to remove the explicit ending to Love Token and Brian’s cover of “God (Dream Is Over)”. In fact for the longest time the October New Haven show was pretty much the only source we had for “Dream Is Over” at all because it was never performed when they were touring with GNR.

So even though there weren’t any special one-off songs during the New Haven concert, this is really the only easily-available (i.e. on youtube) bootleg we have that includes the original full setlist and the complete encore. Some sections of video are missing, but they’re generally short moments between songs; very little of Brian’s actual performance is missing, and even better the audio quality is fantastic as well.

That's not to say that it's a perfect bootleg, or even a perfect show for that matter. The technical issues that were endemic to this tour are absolutely present here too, from Jamie’s guitar not coming in on his solo to major tuning problems with Brian's acoustic. But IMO that doesn't detract from things too much at all, because the band is far enough into this whole production that they know how to work around these things. You can see those moments when Brian gets frustrated but it doesn't get the best of him, not like it did in South America:

(Brian frustrated by technical issues in Chile)

By the time October 1993 rolls around the Brian May Band is a well-oiled machine. They know how to brush off the mistakes and cover for the inevitable problems that happen during any live show. And when things are going alright for the band and Brian looks more happy than not during shows, it's sometimes easy I think to forget how very not alright Brian still was on a personal level.

Because this final stint of touring kicked off less than two years after Freddie's death. The therapy that Brian found through Back to the Light wasn't in the making of the album, which was nearly finished before Freddie died, but in the touring specifically. Which means that by the time the band rolls into New Haven, Brian's been working through his grief onstage for less than a year. After knowing Freddie for over 23 years and spending 16 of those almost exclusively performing live with Queen.

Saying that Brian was still "not alright" in October 1993 is actually a massive understatement. The worst of his depression, anxiety, and grief is absolutely still there, but Brian keeps working through it - both literally, as he continues with the tour, and figuratively as he uses that tour as his therapy.

But as anyone who’s been in therapy can tell you, it’s not always linear. So when your therapy is performing with your band and you have a momentary backslide…

Well, you pretty much get this exact concert.

I’ve talked about some of this before, most recently in this post where I talk about Brian’s visible reaction to the audience participation in Love of My Life, but honestly I did that moment a disservice by stripping it out of the context of the rest of the show. Because yes, he’s reacting to the audience there (and I'll talk more about the audience later) but critically Brian has been off his game since the start of the show.

(Brian already looking Over It™ after only a few songs)

If you haven't watched (m)any of the BttL concerts, it can be hard to pick up on a lot of this without the additional context of Brian's behavior during other gigs. Brian has always been the most confident while performing and he's comfortable with this band now, so on first watch it’s easy to see him enjoying himself and think that the few moments of overt discomfort are outliers born out of Brian’s unfamiliarity with being a frontman.

But once you start watching more of his concerts, you realize that Brian only seems so comfortable because he’s avoiding going “off script” in his interactions with the audience whenever possible.

The first time this is really apparent comes at the start of Love Token. The introduction to the song is pretty standard across the tour, but what's missing is Brian talking to the audience before launching into things. He tells them, "You guys are great." but the rest of the typical chatter and comments about not having been to New Haven in a while are turned into part of the Love Token opening monologue.

(New Haven, before Love Token)

In contrast, a week later in Milwaukee, Brian does the happy-to-be-back bits entirely separate from Love Token and he explicitly mentions when he was there before with Queen. He's having a genuine moment with the audience outside of the music, and you can tell from his tone of voice and how he’s talking that he’s not doing this on autopilot.

(Milwaukee, before Love Token)

That's something that seems simple, but it still requires talking off-the-cuff to a theater full of people. And if you're already having a rough night, why put yourself through that if you can simply roll it into part of the song and make it a bit more routine for yourself instead?

Then we get into Love of My Life, and I know I already talked about some of this before but amazingly that moment where Brian physically curls in on himself during the song is not the only tell that this isn’t a good night for him.

Again, we have to take a look at Brian’s interactions with the audience because LoML is one of the parts of the show where he can’t avoid talking to them even if he wanted to. What he specifically says can vary wildly from one night to the next, but there are three main beats he usually tries to hit:

Asking the audience to sing along

Telling them that this song is for Freddie

Acknowledging that he wasn’t the one who originally wrote the song

I say “usually” because Brian doesn’t always mention that 3rd point. Often he just says that this is for Freddie and launches into LoML, without any commentary on the song not being “his”.

Sometimes he does mention it but leaves it a little vague, like in March 1993 in New York when he said, “This is something that I don't usually sing and to be honest I get doubts as to whether I should or not.” And sometimes he laughs it off a bit, like he did in Milwaukee in October 1993 when he said, “And it isn't because I was thinking that I have the right, it's just because I really wanna do it."

Regardless of how it’s said, Brian’s emphasis is still on the song being for Freddie. Any comments he makes about his “right” to perform it are almost always secondary to his assertion that he’s doing this in memory of his friend - but not when he gets to New Haven:

(New Haven, before Love of My Life)

In New Haven, Brian (accidentally) puts the focus on the song’s ownership. His slight hesitance and fumbling over his sentence inadvertently puts the emphasis on his own anxieties and mental state, so when he does mention Freddie his grief seems to come through stronger than it may otherwise have done.

Then Brian starts playing and although we have to acknowledge again that he’s having technical issues here, you can still tell the difference between his background emotional state on this night and his frustrations with his guitar. Because when Brian’s problems are external, he reacts and emotes to them externally - but when his problems are internal, he reacts by turning inwards on himself.

(New Haven, during Love of My Life)

Both of those gifs are from LoML. On the left he’s clearly frustrated by the guitar and/or his playing. He’s making a face, shaking his head, trying to adjust to fix it… He’s not exactly going out of his way to hide that there’s an issue there.

But on the right, when the audience sounds a bit too much like they would have with Freddie and their singing is starting to get to him, Brian’s reaction is to close off. He goes still, his face becomes blank, he turns the mic away from him so it can’t pick up any noises if he starts crying again…

(Yes, again, because I’m not going to swear on my life that that’s what’s happening earlier in the song…. but Brian does wipe something away from his face and sometimes that’s enough to make you wonder…)

(New Haven, Brian wiping his face during Love of My Life)

A few songs later and we arrive at Too Much Love Will Kill You. It’s another moment for Brian to talk to the audience, although he usually doesn’t say anything. At both Milwaukee and Brixton, Spike starts playing and Brian just comes in singing. But in New Haven, Brian feels the need to give the audience a little “warning” before they start…

(New Haven, before Too Much Love Will Kill You)

This is Brian’s anxieties coming through again, plain and simple. There’s no need to tell the audience that this part of the show “terrifies” him. If anything there’s a stronger argument to be made that the better, safer option would have been for Brian to say nothing rather than priming the audience to expect this to be imperfect.

Except the audience has already seen the imperfections. Even if they aren’t picking up on every little tell that Brian is having an off night, at this point they’ve already gotten through LoML. Everyone in that theater has already beared witness to his small come-apart during that song, and you know that Brian is absolutely still thinking about that moment as Spike starts the opening notes of TMLWKY.

Here he is, about to sing another slower and more emotional song, only this time he doesn’t have the familiarity of his guitar to fall back on or to hide behind if something goes wrong again. If he’s remembering LoML then surely the audience must be thinking of it too - and surely they must be waiting for him to fuck up again, so clearly the best thing for Brian to do is to preempt this song so the audience knows that this is difficult even on the best of nights.

That’s obviously all speculation but, as someone with an anxiety disorder myself, sometimes it just makes you want to apologize for everything. Whether you’ve actually done something wrong is irrelevant, because the anxiety will always find ways to make it feel like you’re “failing” in some way.

Brian can’t outright apologize to his audience. He’s stuck in his frontman role with a certain script to follow and he can’t break kayfabe to say “Sorry” without ruining the entire atmosphere of the show. What he can do is to admit to the things they should already know - in this case, that being onstage without his guitar is unusual and uncomfortable for him - and let them infer the rest.

He does nearly the same thing again when he talks to the audience at the start of the encore. He always thanks them for coming out to the show, but it feels a little more heartfelt at New Haven.

This part is impossible to gif but the first thing Brian says is, “Let me tell you, this is no bullshit, you guys are amazing. Because there's not that many of us here tonight and I appreciate you guys turning out and making that kind of noise.”

And I promise I’ll get more into the audience in a bit, but the fact that this wasn’t a well-attended show is SO important here as is Brian’s acknowledgment of that. This is really his last chance to say anything to the audience and he decides to specifically thank them for being loud enough to make up for the lack of attendance.

If that doesn’t say something about where his anxieties may have been focused - and what moments from the show struck a genuine chord with him - then I don’t know what does.

After that, Brian only has one more thing to say before he starts introducing “Dream Is Over”...

(New Haven, before the encore)

This is as close as Brian can get to saying, “I’m sorry but I’m doing my best.” He’s saying that he’s giving the audience everything he can and it sounds like an apology anyway. And then he has to steal himself to start the intro to the song, which he always has to do, but it hits a little harder when it’s preceded by that and not by something more like this:

(Milwaukee, before the encore)

And if you’ve made it through this nightmarishly long dissertation about every reason this show is heartbreaking and all the ways you can tell that Brian is having a rough go of it, you’re probably wondering “Rushing what the fuck is wrong with you that THIS is your favorite???”

Which, valid. But it’s my favorite because I think it’s both incredibly important and, honestly, very humbling to see Brian like this.

This isn’t the Tribute Concert, where everything is still so raw and performing hurts as much as doing nothing at all. This isn’t 1992 in South America where Brian can channel his grief into his frustration and push it out on the techs every time something goes wrong. This isn’t an opening show for GNR, where Brian’s time is more limited and even if he gets emotional he’s (probably) not the reason everyone in the theater is there.

This is Brian, not quite two years on from Freddie’s death, still mourning and still extremely depressed and anxious. And this is what it looks like when Brian has to push through that and put on a show anyway. The ways in which he both pulls away from the audience and tries to open up to them give insights not just into the state of Brian’s mental health at the time, but how that affected everything else about him from the way he carried himself to his mannerisms to how he followed the script of his own concert.

The October New Haven concert is a stark reminder of the depths of Brian’s depression and just how much time it takes a person to claw their way out of that.

And the other reason I love this concert is that you absolutely can also see the progress that Brian has already made.

Because despite the 2,500 words dissecting all the ways in which Brian was not fine during this show, there are still plenty of moments where it’s abundantly clear that he was enjoying being able to perform his music with this band.

(New Haven, Brian looking happy)

He’s visibly delighted every time he realizes that Jamie has shimmied over to join him without him realizing. He keeps looking over to everyone on his right and grinning. Whenever he really nails a difficult guitar line you can almost see the confidence boost that it gives him.

Yes, Brian is depressed and struggling but when he’s onstage he’s still Brian fucking May. He’s in his element and he is nailing it, despite the technical hiccups and emotional moments and everything in-between.

I love this concert because you see the depths of who Brian is as a person: his musicianship and how he uses that as a crutch to keep himself moving forward, the love he has for both the friends he’s performing with and those who are gone, his fears and anxieties and moments of deep self-doubt, the guitar legend he grew up to be and the incredible frontman he didn’t realize he could be, and the tired person simply trying to find himself anew after 20 years spent as someone he can’t return to anymore.

And there’s one final, very important reason that I love this show so much: the audience. (I promised we’d talk about them eventually, didn’t I?)

Brian has always been someone who thrives on the atmosphere of a live show and by god was New Haven determined to give him everything they could. They were loud, they were enthusiastic, and you can see Brian responding to that.

(New Haven, Brian looking happy because of the audience)

Brian pulls himself back together after the audience starts cheering for him during LoML. During band introductions they applaud for him long enough that it bleeds into the next song, and despite himself Brian smiles at it. And every time they recognize a Queen song you can see Brian responding to something familiar to him again.

Do you know how hard it was to get even these three gifs? Not because finding the moments was difficult, but because this audience is enjoying themselves so much that their arms are blocking the view more often than not.

Look, I am stupidly biased about this show because I’m a CT native - not from New Haven, but this is still a “home” show for me. Brian walks out wearing that tank top and I get why he wore hometown shirts for the encores even though I fucking hate Yale. This show could have been the most run-of-the-mill, routine concert imaginable and I would still find some way to write 3,000 words waxing poetic about it.

But this wasn’t a routine concert - or maybe a better way to put it would be, this was an incredibly routine concert made remarkable because of far Brian’s mask has slipped and what that inadvertently reveals to us. It’s incredible because the quality of the bootleg means we can actually see the little details of expression that otherwise are often lost.

The October New Haven concert is my favorite from Brian’s first solo tour because it proves the entire point he was making with the album. It’s a performance that shows us that Brian was finding his way Back to the Light - and that even when he was still in the dark, he was “still the same old [him] inside” despite everything that changed.

[raayllum]

im new to the fandom, so I miss a lot of the discourse (helped ofc by the fact you're kinda the only dp blog I follow), so everytime you mention the s4 backlash I'm like....how in the world could people hate that season or rayllum in it? It doesn't compute for me!

The last ship I was particularly engaged with, has a lot of similarities with rayllum. They were best friends, life partners before they were ever /romantic/ life partners. And they went through a /lot/ of trauma, miscommunication, and being on opposite sides of the same fight, etc etc.

the difference to rayllum was that they never rlly gave each other the grace they need. They also never talked on screen, but unlike rayllum it wasn't because it was the best option for them, it's just that the writers didn't want to include it ever - to the point that when they finally did an episode addressing it, it landed...very flat? Because it was about six seasons in, addressing things as far back as the second season, that they'd apparently never spoken to each other about before (they were tragically engaged when this happened).

Rayllum GENERALLY but especially in s4 have a really special place in my heart, because they feel very realistically messy - but it doesn't feel like it's there so there's some drama to keep audiences hooked. It feels authentic, and is one of those rare cases where it strengthens their relationship. I definitely could buy that rayllum would survive anything that hit their relationship by the end of s3, but getting to actually SEE that and see how much they're willing to work through out of love and respect for each other? Fantastic.

(also like it's such good character development....i am with u in the s4 defense squad. is there a squad? If there is I'm in it)

First off welcome to the fandom and I hope you're having a good time!!

The fact that my blog is mostly discourse free cause while I tag accordingly (fandom nonsense and dragons gets salty for potential blacklisting purposes) I always worry I can dip too far into that on occasion (I do my best not to unless being called out by name, and even then mostly do my best to ignore stuff), but there's not too much discourse within TDP in general — at least not in the Rayllum corner, luckily.

I think that's why the S4 backlash really surprised and threw me for a loop, because my partner and I finished the season at like 7AM on release day and while different than expected, we loved it and thought it was great from the start. Then we went online and people in the fandom who I'd largely always agreed with were having a really hard time with the season and it was disheartening at least to not have many people to talk to about why 1) S4 is TDP's thematically strongest season thus far and that's still true, 2) it's Ezran's best season imo, and 3) it does a lot of things really really well in really interesting ways.

I always try to never come down Too Hard on the s4 backlash just because people are of course entitled to their feelings/opinions then as well as now (even if some people's tunes have definitely changed), but a lot of it did feel sometimes short sighted if not immature.

Like soo many people are still mad that Rayla and Callum broke up in an offscreen graphic novel, when S4 would still be S4 regardless of whether TTM existed and like... if Rayla worrying that she failed (again) and went off on her own (again) to protect Callum was a big logical leap, then that person honestly just wasn't paying attention; there's not much else to say there. I also think it's just a strange choice to assume that Nothing Major would change the second you find out about a timeskip; like, almost everything else is status quo, Rayla being gone is the One Major Change and people couldn't handle that being a Surprise?

Like you said, conflict between a couple is not inherently a bad thing; it can be good and interesting, and this was always a relationship hurdle I think a lot of Rayllums (myself included) expected Rayla and Callum to have to tackle. Not liking how extreme or 'dramatic' it was (ie. season long arc > just a few episodes, or Rayla leaving > just trying to leave) is fair enough, but given that it's rooted in so much of Rayla's character, I'd much rather take a long way around approach that's in depth. I'm also just Glad and Grateful that the show is tackling it and treating it like the issue it is rather than sweeping things under the rug.

The fact that Callum's version of anger wasn't the one people wanted is another issue, but again — his anger went the way I'd always thought it might if he just went through enough trauma, and even if he had yelled at her, I don't think the season would've necessarily gone any different than it did other than them crying more early on. Which I've written and wouldn't have minded, but I also don't dislike the alternative route canon took — of course they were never going to get all variations out there, but Callum is cold as hell and being a bit of a jerk while also being valid and tempering himself because he doesn't want to hurt her anymore than she wants to hurt him (and Callum has always been very very bad at being/staying mad with Rayla or Ezran anyway).

I saw a lot of pushback against Rayllum being 'platonic' (which was annoying as an aromantic person lemme tell you, as though platonic is lesser), being "broken up for no reason" (Rayla being hyper-independent was not a secret and always going to be what threatened to rip them apart; they are also still Visibly and Repeatedly In Love with each other how is that broken up), or that they didn't get to have a Big Feelings Time in S4.

With that in mind, there's a lot that also matters in a relationship beyond just Open Communication, tbh. There's going to be times in life where you're not able to or unwilling to talk about certain things (given that S4 is maybe a week, I think that's reasonable; especially when Rayllum still haven't talked to each other about it as of s5 and no one I saw have an issue in S4 about it has complained about it there) and like... how do you treat each other when you're still mad or confused and haven't talked everything out? Do you still take care of each other, are you still doing your best to be considerate of each other (even if you're also not going to be perfect)? That shit matters just as much if not more as people able to sit down and hash things out.

I think the truth is a lot of the things that pissed people off about S4 would've been true even if the opposite things had happened:

N'than is flat and under developed unlike Ellis → N'than is more developed → why is N'than taking away from screentime for other characters?

The Sunfire plotline feels disconnected from the rest of the story (nvm that Viren's arc from 1x06 onwards doesn't affect any main character again until 3x04) → the Sunfire plot line has more connections to the main cast crammed in → more complaints about pacing and things feeling overly stuffed, as scenes already change from one to the next quite clearly

Callum and Rayla have a big talk sometime between 4x03-4x07 → this doesn't give Callum enough time to be angry / makes him seem unreasonable because he's admitted he was mostly worried but is still not fully letting her in despite her spilling her guts to him (and in what world would Rayla give excuses, again, when she knows he's the one hurting and taking priority in her mind)

S4's humor was bad because there were fart jokes (in one episode) → the crowlord's joke is so much worse than the fart jokes imo and is on par with the walnut joke in 1x06. also 1-2 scenes with jokes that didn't work for you out of 9 whole ass episodes is like. you're just a wuss i'm sorry

The Sunfire plot line is boring → will never not feel like "I just can't connect or be interested in politics and religious disagreements when it's mostly about Black people for Some Reason (racism)" to me tbh

There was no way to please everyone especially after a three year hiatus (because people think, For Some Reason, that how much time it takes for a story to come out should change how that story is written and it really, really doesn't) but yeah. The internet showed their asses and I was Not Impressed lmao

TLDR; a lot of the S4 backlash was "I'm mad this isn't happening now and I'm stressed out/worried that it won't be" as opposed to "this is only a problem if it never happens at all, but I have faith that it will," and I will love S4 forever. The Callum-Viren parallels being ramped up, the theme of duality and moving "doing terrible things for love" to the forefront with multiple characters (Rayla, Terry, Viren, Claudia), seeing Ezran step into his role as king, Callum's arc being shown > told, the set up for the possession plot line, Janaya's engagement and relationship development + Amaya and Janai's independent arcs? Chef's kiss. S4 is my best friend and its Rayllum dynamic is on par with S3 for me, and I am very grateful the fandom's attitude towards s4 and s4 Rayllum is a lot warmer / more reasonable now

When Callum says "unconditionally" in 5x01 and all their stuff in S5 we know and believe it because we've seen them fight and work so hard to come back from some pretty terrible brinks in imperfect ways, and I'll always love s4 for that. The most aspec Rayllum season by far

[lo-sulci]

What are heaven will be mine & coquette dragoon?

oh my goodness, thank you for asking!! the short answer: they are incredibly good visual novels that I highly recommend, especially if you're a fan of mecha, sci-fi, great world building, yuri, and generally just amazing art created by transfems

long answer:

heaven will be mine (aside from being where I got my url) is the second VN made by worst girls games, best known for their first outing, we know the devil (also an absolutely amazing game). hwbm tends to ask a bit more from the reader than its predecessor- while wktd almost exclusively featured three characters and dealt with rather plainly stated themes of alienation, loneliness, and religious trauma, hwbm presents a setting cloaked in metaphor where human will literally shapes the universe and psychic mech pilots read spacetime like a narrative.

the cast is bigger, with the three routes allowing insight into each of the three main girls in addition to members of the factions they belong to, all in service of a beautiful story about queer people connecting with each other and finding/making their place in a world that would want to deny them their happiness (and a lot of other things, but I'm simplifying some here). begging to be replayed over and over, i've had different characters and details stick out every time ive played through the game, while also gaining a deeper understanding of and appreciation for hwbm's characters and setting. I've loved hwbm and wktd for years and expect I will for years and years to come, which, incidentally, is why I got a pair of tattoos based on these games LMAO. in other words: they're fucking fantastic and hit like few other things out there, imo

coquette dragoon is one of those other things, because holy shit does it excel at hitting incredibly specific and relatable emotional beats that are liable to absolutely tear you apart. created by ivy burgeroise, who (by her own fantastic description) makes art for sad perverts, coquette takes place during a seemingly endless war between the lilac fleet and the duchy of lucia, two spacefaring societies inhabited by animal people who have very differing opinions on magic.

focusing (so far) on xiomara rosales of the lilac and lady honey rose of the duchy, coquette explores painfully human stories from both sides of the war. (to that point, I'd be remiss if I didn't advise you to look out for the content warnings- coquette gets into some very heavy stuff and speaks about it very frankly and honestly, which is to its credit imo but i also understand that that is not something that everyone is in a space to deal with.) more than anything else, I feel, coquette is a work that puts words to feelings that you'd never before been able to describe, and, through the vulnerability of its author in making something so emotionally honest, makes me want to be more openly and happily myself. all of this in a story that examines war, exploitation, and the societal structures that prop them up, among many, many, many other things. I could keep talking in circles gushing about it, because I am so so obsessed with what's been released so far and so indescribably excited to see how it progresses in the future, but to keep myself from going on for too too long i'll cap this off with a tweet about coquette that i frequently think of and is one of the best recommendations I can offer:

OH and also coquette has wibbleburger, which, as we all know, is your favorite

[raelle-writing]

The reality is that most kids would be either a Fluke or Jin. If nothing else it’s because they don’t also want to be bullied or ostracized by their friends. You can criticize the choices that Jin makes but realize that he is also a child that doesn’t yet have the maturity and wisdom of an adult. I see this group of teens and their treatment of Non as a cautionary tale. Obviously this is ultimately a horror/thriller so everything is heightened to the extreme. Therefore I don’t have an issue with the gore, mayhem and fantastical elements. But this type of bullying could and does happen in real life sometimes with devastating tragedies. So I do wish that people on social media were more careful of the terms they use and directly harassing your character is not a good look. Hurling insults behind a computer screen hurts just as much as doing it in person. (IMO) The fact that they are essentially bullying you is ironic considering what DFF is about.

There is a certain irony to watch the fandom turn into bullies in defense of the bullied character. I understand being defensive of the characters you like (I'm defensive of Jin in case you haven't noticed lol). But I understand why people don't like him. I've never justified all of his actions, but I do genuinely think people are too hard on him a lot of the time.

And I also wish all the Non defenders would have a bit of nuance about his character too because he's a victim, but that doesn't exempt him from hurting others. I'll never say he cheated because I beleive we shouldn't apply that word to a situation involving coercion and power imbalances. But Non does still get his friends arrested. And he does lie to and gaslight Phee. And those are okay things to acknowledge while still having sympathy for him as a character.

I agree with you. I think most people wouldn't even do as much as Jin tbh because while he doesn't do enough arguably, he does a lot as far as defending Non over and over and over (even up until after Non disappears he's still snapping at his friends to address Non by his name). And it's really hard to be that level of defiant to your peers constantly. It's waaaaaaay easier to be Fluke and look the other way and tell yourself that you're not involved then, even if you could stop it.

Everyone online seems to have a hero complex and think they'd do the Absolute Right Thing even when there's no clear right thing in certain situations, and then they demonize these teenagers for not doing those things. (I made a thread on Twitter talking about Jin lying to the police and police corruption in the DFF narrative and in Thailand in general, including linking to a bunch of Thai tweets that talk about that and I got people replying to me saying that they live in countries with police corruption but they still would've told the truth to the police even if they would've disappeared and I got a good laugh out of that. It's so easy to be the hero in your head in a hypothetical situation, but reality is a lot harder than that).

Yeah, I don't know why this particular fandom seems to be so caught up on "if you like a character that I view as morally bad then YOU are a bad person" especially considering the audience crossover to the KPTS fandom like. Were you mad at all of the mafia boys doing mafia things in KPTS becaussssssse that was worse than a lot of what's happening in DFF so far ahahahaha

Anyway, I'm not ever going to demand that everyone likes Jin. I don't particularly care of people like him or not as long as they're not coming after ME about it. I wish people were a little less... vitriolic about the mistakes of teenagers, though I understand why many people are so mad about it. I just can't get past the idea that these people were all kids when they made these mistakes, and it's hard to see even Por die because I have sympathy for them all. Did they fuck up? Duh. Do they deserve to die...? I have a hard time with that, but I'm trying to be mentally prepared ahahahaha

I also hope all the people out there who have decided Jin is the worst person ever and deserves to die are prepared for if that doesn't happen. Because there are a lot of threads in the narrative point pretty strongly to a future redemption for him IMO (tho of course they could go in another direction, anything is possible at this point). And I have a feeling that all those people who are calling me names on Twitter aren't going to handle it well if Jin get redeemed or like... lives in the end. I have a feeling they won't handle that well.

Anyway, thanks for the message 💕