#but it's not helpful at all and my anxiety just goes brrrrrrr

[outguilt]

man i wish i was better at plotting

[taeyamayang]

Welcome back!!!!

I am happy to inform you that I FINALLY READ A BOOK ON MY BOOKSHELF!!! it was a book I got from my highschool fucking YEARS ago when they were reading out books. Oh my god you should’ve seen me on those days, I’d get piles of piles of PILES of books and struggle to bring them on the bus back home. My backpack was STUFFED to the brim and my teacher let me borrow a reusable plastic bag to carry the rest lol. One year the same teacher gave me some of her books from her classroom and I put them all in my locker, which you think is a safe space for them but NO. So towards the end of the year I was really struggling with my health so the school emptied out my locker when school ended and put all my stuff into a plastic bag and my mom picked it up. When I finally got the stuff from my locker tHE STAFF AT THE SCHOOL TOOK ALL MY BOOKS TO THE LIBRARY!!!!! THEY THOUGHT IT WAS THEIRS!!!! oh I was PISSED. The kicker is that HALF OF MY TEACHERS BOOKS THAT SHE GAVE ME WHERE WEEDED OUT BOOKS FROM THE LIBRARY IN THE FIRST PLACE. So I emailed people in the library to see if I could get them back, but the thing is….I didn’t remember what the titles were. It has been weeks since I got them from her and I had bigger things going on then. So I did get get my books. UNTIL! the end of the NEXT year when they were weeding them out again and when I went to the library to print something I found them amongst other weeded out books!!! I was so happy!!! I ran Into my teachers room like 🏃‍♂️💨 “I NEED A BAG!!!” She was like 🧍‍♀️???? Ok? Lmao she was used to my shenanigans by then LOLOL and o got my books back!!! Yay! A little random story time lol.

I wish I could write more. I’m so fucking busy with everything and never feel like I have time to exist smh. I have a whole ass list of things I want to do and reading and writing is at the top of it. I still have an entire Pokémon game that I’ve had for like a year now that I haven’t touched ugh. It doesn’t help that I’m always tired too. I recently went to the doctor and he told me that all the physical problems I’ve been having for years are all connected somehow because of my nerves and since it’s a “functional” disease I was diagnosed with(? Im not holding my breath at this point) there’s not much I can do besides take meds. It put me in a sort of funk and I’m trying my best to get back on my grind, but it’s not the easiest yknow?

But! I have been writing a little! And I did not forget the prompt you gave me (the one that blossomed from the stories of me getting hit with balls in gym lmao) I’m in the progress in writing a little Kuroo Drabble, but the thing is I can never finish a paragraph without rewriting it all immediately. I can’t even get my ideas down!! It’s my toxic trait smh.

I’m glad I described your relationship with religion well! I was afraid I was getting a little too close for comfort especially since religion is such a sensitive topic. Ok I’m Ngl I was afraid I offended you or something but I had to remind myself like “pea has social anxiety too! Sending responses can be scary!!! Just bc your anxiety makes you feel obligated to respond asap doesn’t mean everyone else with anxiety does!!!” lol. Also my anxiety loves to screw me with the fact that I often say the wrong thing- most of the time, I mean something else but it comes off different. This leaves me in a constant fear that I offended people, which is fun at parties, yknow? But fr, I’m glad my words reached you. I have a hard time speaking and getting my point out physically, my adhd goes brrrrrrr, and my anxiety and speech issues don’t fucking help either smh I think everything at once and none of it comes out right). but I’m glad my words can come across to you right in text form lol.

This next part sounds weird but I have a point so stick with me here. I honestly think that people don’t really think about how much words can effect others and inspire people. We use them and throw them around like they don’t have any weight but don’t always realize what they can mean. I feel like I sound like an anti bullying PSA but I gOT A POINT I PROMISE. People use words as ways to get by in the day but I live for the moments where we break past the barriers of small talk and say something that really impacts each other and makes them think and feel. When we let words have weight instead of just being things we use and dispose of later on. But since people are afraid of being vulnerable that never happens. That’s why books are so important, and thats why I wanna write. When you read books you become a part of the story and you are able to take words in without it being personal enough (like in real life) where you feel uncomfortable and vulnerable, but they are personal enough to stick with you and make you stop and go “well, shit.” In awe, of course. LOLOL I hope you get what I mean and it wasn’t TOO deep and serious. But the point of the story is that I’m glad I said something meaningful to you, I don’t always feel like my words are really always heard or interpreted right and it’s very reassuring when they are. Also, if I didn’t make it abundantly clear before LOLOL that’s why I love writing. Now if I can actually GET MYSELF TO WRITE A PARAGRAPH THAT WOULD BE NICE 😭 ( that was laughing but also crying in pain emoji btw)

Oof that was a long paragraph, but anyways Interaction day???? That’s fucking weird. Like that was the whole purpose? Just interacting with the opposite gender? And they made you give each other pillows?????? I feel like if anyone else told me this I would be like “bullshit” but maybe this is common in schools in Asia? Or was it just your school?? Isn’t this the same school that you said was all prim and proper??? I don’t know what else to say besides “?????” Because what was the purpose???? Especially if you were told to date after Uni? OMG I JUST THOUGHT HOW WEIRD IT WAS ESPECIALLY SINCE THEY GO SO FAR TO PREVENT RELATIONSHIPS, BUT WHAT IF THEY DID THAT AS LIKE A DETERRANT? LIKE TO MAKE SURE YOU DONT “TURN GAY”???? I literally can’t think of another reason they would do that. Especially with the pillows? Like what else could it be referencing besides sex? And I found that especially weird since I know America is very “laid back” when it comes to social rules and norms compared to other countries, but teen pregnancy and sex in schools has always been kinda taboo. Like some teens have sex, some don’t,-which is completely normal. I know American tv shows make teen sex sound so common but honestly who has time for that????? The thing is no matter how much sex is portrayed in media or irl, American schools don’t want ANY OF IT. Like Sex Ed in America SUCKS especially if you ain’t cishet and some schools don’t even have that. Some books even mentioning sex are banned??? Because high schoolers don’t know what sex is, yeah sure. Also for school trips and stuff the boys and girls are ALWAYS separated so there is no chance of any “hanky panky” or anything. So the whole gifting pillows thing is especially odd to me.

Ok so just to clairify, since I know I referenced middle school before and middle school, or jr high looks different around the world, when I saw middle school I mean 6-8th grade or 11-14 years old. Most elementary schools are kindergarten-5th or 5-11 years old. Some elementary schools go until the fourth grade and leaves the fifth grade to the middle school but I feel like most are just kindergarten through fifth. My first day of middle school, I made a friend who had a boyfriend. I thought it was crazy since we aren’t even teens yet but then I found out that having relationships in middle school isn’t uncommon? Hell my little sister had a girlfriend for like a MONTH in eighth grade at 14, and they hated each other at the end of it. The thing is, relationships are hard, EVEN FOR ADULTS. Like I mentioned, people don’t like to be vulnerable because they are afraid of being hurt and everyone is on different wavelengths on what they want or expect in relationships. Not everyone wants or expects the same thing and a lot of the time it gets messy. Especially when it comes to sex. Not all relationships have sex and not all relationships know how to function with sex. By that I mean sex is a very big and heavy thing. Emotionally and physically. Not everyone feels the same way about it and it can hard to talk about with your s/o responsibly. And again, this is for ADULTS. You can probably imagine how hard it is for kids to distinguish what a relationship is, especially balancing in the sex part that everyone expects to have in relationships and that they are oh so curious about. Remember when I mentioned that I read a book from my bookshelf? Well the book was called Unslut and it was literally the authors middle school diary with side notes on the side with her giving more details on each entry. She was brandished a slut in middle school when she was coerced into sexual acts and or sexually assaulted. Most of the time it was sexual assault actually, but they were so young they didn’t really know. The author and a lot of other kids hopped from “relationship” (or just like holding hands in the hallway and sending flirty messages with the occasional kiss) to relationship, breaking up by phone calls and passed notes. And all of that took place in the late 90s, so you can imagine how it is now with the internet and such.

I love how you called you friends babe and such just to confuse people, honestly? That’s iconic. I LOVE HOW YOU WERE LIKE “HELL NAW, iM THE ORIGINAL GAY HERE. ME!” Everyone was thinking she turned you gay lmaoooooo. Break those stereotypes!!!

I’m glad I didn’t go to your school bc my ADHD ass looked eVERYWHERE during tests. Like if I really try to think and remember something for a paper or any task I’m working on independently I often look around. Never at another persons test, our desks were often separated anyways. But even if I tried to (which I didn’t) I couldn’t bc I have horrible fucking eyesight 😅. I couldn’t see shit even with my glasses on. I just KNOW I’d get in trouble for “cheating”

I actually bought another pair like six months later and still have them in my closet, but the thing is, even though my shoe size hasn’t really changed since 13 or so, I still have big ass feet 😭. I’m like a size ten in womens and I didn’t buy these ones in Chinatown, I bought them online and they were smaller and my feet barely fit and my heels touch the flat of the shoe EXACTLY. They don’t really fit 😢😢😢. I do sometimes miss it there, even though it was super fucking chaotic, just because I knew everyone and everyone knew me. We were all genuine and we were able to be authentic to each other. When I started high school not long after everyone was hidden to themselves and not really genuine with each other. This isn’t really bad, especially since it’s not a school of like 100 and everyone can’t be as close knit, but it got really overwhelming sometimes. I still wish for that familiarity sometimes with making friends and being social since meeting new people and making friends is hard, but my time there really did bring me out of my shell, nonetheless. Before I left, I actually got a composition notebook, decorated it and passed it around for people to write goodbye notes in it. I still look at it from time to time when I need a pick me up and it’s full of encouraging notes. I actually did go and visit a few times and donated clothes, and it was a very strange experience. I saw it as an outsider, but still with familiarity. I actually saw Daia when I went back and I gave her long hugs. The middle school I went to after was a special needs school and two of the staff from the residential also worked there too and I took a picture with them as I graduated middle school and they shared it with my friends there and they were so proud of me 🥺. Oh! I also saw Daia and Kayla at the Walmart I go to and was SHOOK. They were shopping for clothes and they decided to go to the Walmart closer to me instead of the town over since the boys dorm was shopping there and I got to catch up with them and take a few selfies. I’m still sorta in contact with a few people, including Kayla via Instagram but others I just have to really hope they are doing well, like Daia and the one friend I called my sister. And now I want pie too lol.

I do wanna watch Our Father, I watched the trailer and it’s very interesting!!!! I love buzzfeed unsolved and some of my favorite ones are the true crime, unless it’s when Shane and Ryan are exploring the supernatural, then that takes the cake. Speaking of true crime, idk if I mentioned this but the other day when I was working on something on my laptop and listening to a true crime YouTuber they were like this case takes place in (MY TOWN) and then she started describing it. I was like wait a damn minute and had to rewind like three different times. The thing is, my town is pretty big and well off. It’s not exactly unknown but it’s not known well enough for people outside my state to mention it. It’s also a very affluent town with people moving her to retire and raise families and such so you don’t really hear bad things about this place. EsPECIALLY IF ITS A DOUBLE MURDER THAT ALSO TAKES PLACE IN THE SURROUNDING TOWN. LiKE WHAT THE FUCK. It wasn’t too long ago, I think it was like the early 2000s? I didn’t live here then but still. It was trippy. I’m used to hearing things that happen closer to the big city in my state or maybe in the same county or one close. But never IN MY TOWN.

And about the haunted home bit. I think I might’ve??? Slept in a haunted home, at least. Ok maybe not haunted per se, but let me explain. As a little girl, like very small, four year old kinda little, I would frolic around my house and sometimes speak to people that weren’t there. It wasn’t really a big deal since I was so small and just playing around and it was make believe or whatever. Until! My mom heard me giggling by myself and she asked who I was talking to. I said, “Papa Ray! He’s so funny!!!! I never met a Ray before but The thing is, my mom was super close to her grandfather, Raymond. Her family was super abusive, but he was one of the only people who really cared for her. Sadly he got sick and passed away when she was ten or so I never got to meet him…. At least as he was living. My mom was creeped tf out. That wasn’t the only time I “played with ghosts” but it’s the only one I can distinctly describe. They say little children and animals can see ghosts, yknow?

My aunt, my moms sister was the one who kept getting engaged and calling off the wedding. The boys she keeps getting involved with aren’t the greatest and every time she says she’s getting married I don’t hold my breath smh. I’m glad you had fun at the wedding tho!

I enjoy our messages too aND OMG IS MOMO A MODEL??? THAT POSE! THAT GRACE! THAT BEAUTY! ABSOLUTELY STUNNINGGGGG!!

Oh I took photos of my cats recently! I also entered a picture of Thor and it won third place!! I entered a lot of stuff and even one first place for a few but this photo was def the cutest!! I also entered the Loki pic but it didn’t win :(

But I took pictures of the cats recently, including cursed ones of them sniffing the camera (aka my fav ones) also I gave Thor a box that was too small for him and he was convinced he fit 🥺

hi i was busy, yet again 💀

it's good to here that you had finally touched your books!! and your crazy story about the school taking your books to the library tho,, why would they do that 😭 it was in your locker so it's yours why would they assume that it's the school's. idk why but i can imagine you bringing home bulky bags full with books and THAT'S heavy. back in the day, we didn't have lockers (actually we had but i attended a sadistic school so everyday we had homeworks that needs to be done so we have no choice but to bring a shit ton of academic books and notebooks one per subject home) and i also have packed lunches and a huge jug (i was dehydrated lol 💀) so imagine bringing a full backpack, my lunch, my snacks (v important), a jug and sometimes a yoga mat for p.e. SO I WAS TIRED AND LAZY BRINGING STUFF TO SCHOOL AND BACK also, i didn't like books back then because we were forced to read and like it. KUDOS TO YOU FOR THE EFFORT 😩👌🏼

ahhh don't push yourself too hard especially on days you feel tired. take small steps each day and it is enough :) OH I'M EXCITED FOR THE KUROO DRABBLE I'M SO HYPED OMFG LIKE LITERALLY SMILING LIKE A DAMMNED FOOL RN!! YOU SEE i know it may be hard but try to write all down without editing a single thing LIKE IT WILL BE HARD but you gotta trust the process. if you want to, i can help you with it! conceptualizing, writing, or editing IM SO SO EXCITED!! i get what you mean ith words being disposable nowadays, and that's where our love for books, writing, and reading becomes more apparent. being part of story is one thing but writing your own story, fueled by your experiences and perspective on life is something else. that's why i think on my part, writing is therapeutic. it has become my stress reliever ever since the pandemic started and shit stirred in uni. so, one day i hope to read your works too!! i'd like to know how you see the world, how words insipired you. I'M WAITING!!

oh nooo don't worry about it!! even if you accidentally said the wrong thing i still keep an open mind ya know language barrier and all that so don't worry, really. i'm like the most patient you'll ever meet lmaooo my irls know me for my patience. i take time to reply (bc of low social energy-had to deal with irls and online lol) but it doesn't mean i'm offended and i'm not the ghoster type so if ever i need to clear things up with you, i'lll say/ask it nicely SO DON'T WORRY! i'm a safe person. you can be yourself when talking to me :)

i feel like since i replied to this super duper late i feel like you may have forgotten the context (we had school interaction with the opposite sex and give each other pillows) AND YES YOU'RE RIGHT it wasnt outright said but before the school had issues with the students turning "gay" so it wasn't said outright that it was for that purposed BUT IT WAS IMPLIED. i know the gifts are weird i think i have them donated to a charity or smth LMAO. really??? im sorry but through media i always have this idea that american schools are open to sex like if you're in hs/middle school and is a virgin, you are humiliated/emphasized by your lack of experience

OKAY GOOD OMG thanks for clearing things ups regarding middle school and such becaue all this time i thought middle school is from 1st grade to idk (i had no idea honestly) here we call kindergarten as pre school, 1st grade to 6th grade as elementary school, then 7th grade to 12th grade as highschool but HS is sub divided to two: 7th to 10th grade called junior high school and the last two years are senior high school (but in our language-the students- 10th grade: sophomore, 11th grade: junior, 12th grade: senior). i think it's ironic how you started talking about relationships, your first friend in middle school having a boyfriend, and the sex talk in a relationship because...i'm actually thinking of breaking things off with an s/o FSNEVEKEBS I AGREE WITH YOU HOW YOU ILLUSTRATED THE COMPLICATIONS OF A RELATIONSHIP BECAUSE IT GETS MESSY i for one do not fancy labels cos you see when you put a label on a relationship you're somehow bound to concede with the societal norms of dating (ya see im not clingy, value my personal space, not a chatter, i dont flex on social media--literally the opposite of what i write (kidding, i express my feelings differently. im a head over heart type which i recently found is rare)) AND I JUST HATE IT YOU KNOW how you are forced to date just like how everyone else does!! even with being intimate like physically i just feel... ugh idk man it's hard to earn my trust and affection and that could be a me problem but im gsmehs (sorry i ended up ranting to you) overall relationships is a complicated route to take and i think for the youngesters they might find it cheesy the first time but when you've dated a few and been scarred i'm just- 💀 it's not simple SO I GET WHAT YOU MEAN!!

wait, before we go to the topic of your school you mentioned your shoe size and im surprised?? DO YOU KNOW WHAT MY SHOE SIZE IS IN THE US?? FREAKING 5!! it's actually embarrassing lmao but a fun fact! do you know that smaller feet means luckier in our culture? lol aside from having a short height i relatively have small feet (cos people of the same height as i have bigger feet) so the oldies in our family would always comment how i'm born lucky since my feet are small. i don't feel lucky bro lol anyway back to your school. it's nice that you have a mini memento from your old schoolmates!! you can always go back to the composite notebook and reread their encouraging notes from to time. it's good that you look back to the past with a warm heart AND YOU MET WITH DAIA AND OTHERS!! THAT'S SO COOL did you guys catch up? remained in contact after the meeting or not?

A MURDER IN YOUR TOWN?? HECKKKK that must be creepy!! was the case solved? what happened to the victim/s? OMG THAT'S INTERESTING but also terrifying 🥶 i never heard of a case that took place in my city nor in my country. i think there aren't much murderers here which is a good thing bc as much as its an interesting topic to tell it's downright frightening. i think the closest famous cases i know are from japan but even though i live approximately near it, it's still too far to harm me heh. OMG YOU COULD SEE GHOSTS!! yeah, i heard of that saying!! kids and animals could see ghosts maybe bc they have pure hearts/souls? idk honestly but speaking of haunted houses, i live at my grandma's house this has been up since AGES ago so it has an old style to it and many have died in this house. that's why we have experiences here that make us doubt if ghosts are indeed real (i think i have told you about that right? we could hear voices of a family member calling from upstairs only to find out that the said family member went out? OR HAVE I NOT? I DONT REMEMBER SORRY GSNDBENE)

YOUR CATS!! OMG I LOVE LOVE LOVE SEEING YOUR BABIES!! THE SNIFFLING YOUR CAMERA POSES AND THE LOOKING OUT THE WINDOWS ARE MY ABSOLUTE FAVES!! gosh you could probably tell that im a big cat person ugh

i feel the same way! i like hearing from you tho it takes me eons to reply but i look forward to your replies everytime i check my inbox (it takes me awhile cos sometimes it gets swamped by asks or reqs)

OH BTW!! before i wrap this up, you're one of the first persons i tell you about this but i'm planning on opening a sticker business!! i'm almost done with the artworks and i can't wait to show you them next time i write to you... or should i post one here?....hm... MAYBE I SHOULD OMG it's genshin so you might not know him but this is a chibi zhongli i made and some artifacts and primogems i made :) im new on digital arts so i'd like to know what you think!! (the copyright thingy may be annoying im sorry!! tumblr is a funny place and i dont want my art to get stolen by someone before i could release them as my products 😭)

thank you love for taking your time in waiting and talking with me. i enjoy our conversations:)

[fallingappleshurt]

hi! I'm the anon that sent that other writing prompt with wilbur being all sneaky and detective mode. Here's another one if you want! :D Tommy and Techno are being bullied and Wilbur notices them acting slightly differently and just goes and fucking beats them up. If you cant tell i really like the idea of wilbur just going full detective mode and techno and tommy just never realize it

Wish you were who you said you were

Brrrrrrr I’m bad at answering asks but here we go!

To be completely honest I really hate how this came out, I tried to make it seem better but I don’t know what else to do, anon I’m really sorry but here we go.

Some of this is actually based on real life experience! So that’s fun.

This is based in the fd!au by Antarctica bay! Go love her! But I’m not tagging her in this shit story, sorry.

TW: For Some Bullying, nothing too graphic or extra

“I’m just saying that I don’t think that it was that good of a character arch,” Tommy said, pushing the apartment door open.

“That’s because you can’t read, did you try gettin’ good?” Techno said, slipping off his shoes, ignoring Tommy’s rebuke, he looked up to the living room and saw Wilbur sitting on the couch with someone he didn’t recognize.

He was going to ask who it was but Tommy beat him to the punch.

“Hey Wilbur, who’s that?”

“Oh this is Griffin, he’s a new student and one of my teachers asked me to show him around and he’s pretty cool,” Wilbur said, gesturing at the boy next to him, he gave a little wave, “Hi,”

“Hello!”

“Hullo,”

“Griffin these are my brothers, Techno’s got the pink hair and the gremlin is Tommy,”

“Shut up,” Tommy flipped him off, heading towards his room. Techno sat down at the kitchen table, pulling out a homework sheet. He grabbed his earbuds when he heard Wilbur swear.

“Wait, where’s my phone?” The lock on Tommy’s door clicked, “Oh come on!” Wilbur jumped over the couch and ran up to the door, pounding against it furiously, “You child! Open the door!”

Griffin looked nervously between Techno at Wilbur, as if asking if this was out of the ordinary, Techno shrugged, calling to Wilbur, “Careful, we don’t want to get another noise complaint.”

Wilbur pounded on the door harder, “You gremlin! Don’t make me Jimmy the lock because I will then you’re dead!”

After a few minutes of fruitless threats and pounding Wilbur snapped and started digging around the hall closet for a wire coat hanger. Techno continued with his Government class’s work, he was so focused he didn’t realize Griffin had sat in the chair next to him, trying to start a conversation.

Griffin yanked one of his earbuds out, “Why are you ignoring me?” He asked, Techno raised an eyebrow.

“I’m not, I was just caught up in my work,”

Griffin rolled his eyes, “Sure, anyways, I wanted to ask you, why do you look so mad all the time?”

“You’ve known me for like 10 minutes-”

“I saw you in the hallway a lot earlier, I guess we have a lot of classes near each other, but you looked really mad, or annoyed I’m not really sure, but you just seem to constantly have a resting bitch face,”

Techno shrugged, “I’ve heard that before, I guess I do but-”

“Did you know a lot of people stare at you?”

“What?”

“A lot of people stare at you, or are you too caught up with yourself to notice that?”

Techno sat there, not sure how to respond, Griffin being in their apartment and him just casually insulting him.

“Heh, wow, can’t believe-” Griffin was cut off by Tommy shrieking. Wilbur had managed to unlock their door and jumped at Tommy, wrestling him for his phone back.

Griffin watched the scene before them, confusion sparking in his eyes, “Is that- is that, how do I say this, normal?”

“It’s a semi-normal thing,” Techno said, peering around Griffin, trying to get a better view of his brothers.

“Wow, I get what they said about you being pretentious,”

Techno shook his head, “What?” He paused, “Did I do something to offend you?” Griffin shrugged and walked over to Wilbur, who was just coming out of Tommy’s room with his phone in hand, hair disheveled and clothing wrinkled. They sat back down on the couch, chatting and laughing like nothing happened, Techno started back on his work.

He got in the zone, music back on, he fell into a rhythm and finished his Government work and half of his math work when their front door opened and Phil stumbled in. His shoulders were tight, clothes wrinkled and bunched, he set his stuff down on the table next to Techno’s backpack.

“Hey Techno, hey Wilbur, who’s this?”

“This is Griffin, he’s the new guy at school and he’s actually pretty cool,”

Phil snorted, “He’s ‘pretty cool’? That kind of sounds like an insult Wil,”

“I didn’t mean it in a bad way! He’s just shy but once you start talking to him,” Techno rolled his eyes but said nothing, yeah he seemed ‘real shy’. Phil smiled, “Is he staying for dinner?”

“Griffin wanna stay for dinner?” Wilbur asked, looking him in the eye, Techno silently hoped he’d say no.

“If you’ll have me,” Griffin said.

“Of course, I’m heating up leftover lasagna, are you okay with that?” Phil asked, turning on the oven. Griffin nodded, “Yeah!”

Techno bit his tongue and tried to go back to his mathwork. Soon he cleared off his and Phil’s stuff off the table, Tommy, after some prodding, came out and set out plates and utensils.

They all sat down, Tommy talking about the next basketball season and Phil telling them of some ridiculous customer who tried to use a coupon that was 3 years past the date. Griffin was quite for most of it, laughing along with Phil and rolling his eyes as Tommy talked about the stupid things the other boys on the team dared him to do.

“This is really good,” He commented about the food.

“Thank you, it’s just a recipe from the pasta box though,”

Techno stayed quiet, working his brain, trying to figure Griffin out. He didn’t say anything rude or backhanded and seemed like a normal, slightly nervous guy. Techno didn’t know if he had upset him in someway or what, maybe Griffin was just having an offday? Techno knew he wasn’t always the friendliest person and he could have been more accommodating, maybe it would have made Griffin feel less on edge.

The rest of the night seemed to go off without a hitch. Griffin helped them clean up, thanked them for the meal and Wilbur for showing him around, then left.

Techno had trouble falling asleep, thinking about the stuff Griffin said and Tommy shifting restlessly in the bunk above him, sleep was near impossible.

People had called him sarcastic and pretentious before but it never really bothered him, so why did Griffin saying it make him feel nauseous? The other thing was Griffin said people were staring at him? That was never good, were they talking about him or making fun of him behind his back?

Techno didn’t sleep much that night.

He managed to get about 3 hours of sleep between anxiety flashes and panicking to make sure he submitted the assignment on google classroom but he was able to forget about Griffin.

Until someone yanked on his hair while he was walking down the hall, hard. He stumbled back, surprised, when an arm was sloppily thrown around his shoulders.

“Hey man, you’re heading to Green’s bio class right? For the first period? I missed that period yesterday,” Griffin said, Techno frowned, trying to pull away but that only made Griffin tighten his grip.

“Yeah,” Techno said curtly, trying to avoid Griffin’s gaze, “Why do you care? Aren’t you a grade ahead of me?”

“Not in this subject, I was just wondering, could you show me the way?”

Techno eyed him up and down, he really didn’t want to be around Griffin but if they were going to the same place then there really was no avoiding it, begrudgingly nodding, “Sure.”

Techno led him down the hall with Griffin still gripping his shoulder sharply, Techno didn’t know if he was aware of what he was doing or not. They entered the classroom when Techno was finally able to pull away and get to his desk, he sat down and followed the directions on the board while Griffin talked to the teacher.

More students filed in, sitting on the deks, wandering around, chattering amongst themselves. The bell rang and Miss Green introduced Griffin;

“Hello everyone, I hope you had a good day. We have a new student, Griffin, would you like to say a few words about yourself?”

He stepped forwards nervously, waving, “Hi, My name is Griffin, I moved here from Taiga Township, I’m 16, I like weightlifting and I play the trumpet,” He chuckled, scratching the back of his neck, “Sorry, I’m not very interesting,”

Techno started zone out, Griffin made his brain hurt, he seemed so shy and awkward around other people, he was polite and despite his height was overall none threatening. So why did he say that stuff last night? Techno knew he didn’t imagine it, he hadn’t even met Griffin before that so he didn’t know if he offended him or not- it all made Techno’s head spin.

Griffin shuffled to his desk, the empty desk behind Techno’s, and sat down. Techno could feel him staring but chose to ignore it, trying to focus on the lesson. Mindless note taking calmed his head and nerves slightly, it felt nice just to follow along. The class was relatively easy, Miss Green finished with their notes and gave them a worksheet, saying that if it wasn’t finished in class it was homework. Techno worked on it until the bell rang, then packed up his stuff and headed towards his next class.

As he walked down the hall he heard footsteps coming up behind him when someone threw their arm around his shoulders again, gripping the same sore spot on his arm tightly.

“Hey man, could I get the answers from Bio?” Griffin’s strident voice filling his head. Techno shifted his shoulder.

“The notes or the worksheet?”

“Both?”

“No, you should have paid attention,” Techno responded curtly, he had a short internal argument about how he was being a hypocrite.

“Oh come on man! Cut me some slack, I just moved and everything has been really stressful, please?”

Techno bit the inside of his mouth, he didn’t want to just hand Griffin the answers for something he did jackshit on but at the same time he did just move…

“Fine,”

“Ah yes! Thank you man! Wilbur invited me over after school today so I’ll get them then!” Griffin suddenly released Techno, half jogging through the mosh pit of people in the hall, “Thanks again!”

Techno just sighed and continued to his next class, arm aching, hoping this wouldn’t become a routine.

It became a routine.

Everyday after bio Griffin would do the same song and dance of running up behind him, wrenching his hair, throwing his arm around his shoulders and asking for notes or homework answers. Techno would oblige, he didn’t want to disappoint Griffin and add stress after the guy had moved from the town he spent his whole life in.

But after a week it got old, Techno grew tired of it, he didn’t mind giving his friends answers if they had an off day or needed help or a break but this was pushing it, Griffin didn’t even do anything in class! He would just sit there and throw little paper balls everywhere, he didn’t even attempt to try.

Techno heard footsteps behind him and tensed up, a familiar arm tossed around his shoulders.

“Hey man, I can’t make it over after school today-”

“I’m not giving you the answers,” Techno interrupted, Griffin balked, “Wh-what do you mean?”

“It’s been a week, you need to start paying attention, I’m not giving you the answers anymore,” Techno tried to keep walking, wiggling his arm against Griffin’s now tightening grip.

“Come on- we’re friends! You wouldn’t leave a friend-”

“We’re not friends, you and Wilbur might be but we are just acquaintances, classmates at best. I don’t owe you anything-”

Techno was cut off when Griffin yanked him to a locker bay, slamming him against the metal.

“You think you’re cool? That you can talk down to me? That’s not the case,” Griffin gripped the front on Techno’s hoodie, other hand grasping the same tender spot on his arm. Techno’s heart was in his throat.

“You either give me the answers for our Bio homework or I’ll beat the shit out of you. If you’d like a reference your little brother has seen me in the weight room, are we clear?”

Techno’s mouth was dry, sharp tendrils wrapped around his chest. He felt small under Griffin’s dark stare. Eventually he was able to choke out;

“Okay-okay,”

“Good, I’ll get them from you later,” Instantly Griffin let go of his shirt, walking away, leaving Techno to try and collect his thoughts.

Tommy didn’t really talk to Griffin all that much, he had spent a lot of time at their apartment and seemed rather nice, just a little shy. He spent most of the time with Wilbur, doing homework or talking loudly. Tommy’s hand hurt from the constant pounding on the walls to get them to shut up. He had never seen them without each other.

Which was why he was surprised to get home and see Griffin sitting on the couch, scrolling through his phone.

“Uh, what are you doing here?” Tommy asked, taking his shoes off, Griffin looked up nonchalantly, “Just hanging out,”

“But Wilbur isn’t here, he’s at work,” Tommy pointed out, how did this guy get in?

“He said I could still come over,”

“That’s... weird,” Tommy trailed off, trying to find the right word.

“What is?”

“You just-just being here without Wilbur, it doesn’t seem right,”

“I don’t see what the big deal is, you’re just being aggressive but I guess that’s normal,” Griffin didn’t look up from his phone.

“What the hell are you on about?”

“I don’t want to repeat myself, of course that would also mean you would have to be shut up for once and listen,”

“Wow, you’re an asshole,” Tommy walked into the kitchen.

“You’re one to talk,”

“Stop talking shit, you don’t know me,” Tommy shot back, voicing growing louder, grabbing a cheese stick from the fridge.

“I know enough-”

“No you don’t! Shut-”

“God you are so loud man, do you ever shut up? Like at all? How about for once you just try to use your indoor voice? Or did you forget? This is why Phil always has a headache.”

Tommy paused, had he been making Phil more stressed?

“Wh-what do you mean?” Tommy cleared his throat.

“No but it’s obvious, he constantly talks about having headaches and how he wants some peace and quiet, it’s pretty clear he’s talking about you.”

Tommy swallowed, the apartment suddenly seemed too small, or he was too big, Wilbur had always teased him about his sudden growth spurt.

“What no come back?”

“Shut up man,” Tommy retorted but it had no real bite, he shuffled into his room and stayed there, he wanted to be along. He also locked Techno out, who was not happy about that, he ignored everyone until Wilbur pounded on the door telling him that dinner was ready.

Tommy walked out, heart dropping when he saw Griffin at the table. He stayed quiet throughout most of the meal, he’d laugh along with his brothers but didn’t offer much to the conversation.

Once they had finished Techno started on the dishes and, surprisingly, Griffin helped.

The rest of the night was normal, Griffin hung around for a while more before leaving, Tommy stayed in his room most of the night, anxiety getting the better of him. He didn’t want to cause Phil more stress, he already worked so hard. Wilbur helped with the bills and Techno did most, if not all of the chores, and Tommy realized he didn't do anything for them.

He messaged Tubbo, trying to take his mind off the panic that started to burn itself into his chest. They got into a call, Tubbo talking about the stray cat in his neighborhood and how it finally got close enough for Tubbo to pet, and how he now has a bandaged hand.

They continued to talk, Tommy’s anxiety starting to drip away, at least he wasn’t a burden to Tubbo, completely.

Griffin was spending more and more time at their apartment and it was starting to fry at Tommy’s nerves, the man was always there. He had also started to join in on his brother's teasing, which wasn’t a big issue.

But it also kind of was.

His brother’s jokes were always fun and lighthearted, they usually didn’t go too far and they were just that- jokes. Griffin’s jokes were stupid and borderline hurtful, a person can only go for so long hearing things like, “You’re such a fucking moron, how’d you even pass preschool?” or “Look, it’s the human version of a headache,” or “This is why you have to cheat off Tubbo, too fucking stupid to understand,” before it got too draining.

The only time he seemed to get a reprieve was when he stopped talking or just left the room all together, leaving the room was too noticeable and could ruin the mood so Tommy would just sit there, biting his tongue, and he continued to do that even after Griffin left.

He was tired.

When Wilbur had invited Griffin over he hadn't expected it to go so well. Griffin was easy going and funny, he and Wilbur would talk for hours, Techno and Tommy seemed to tolerate him and Phil liked him so their fate was sealed. He had been hanging around for a few weeks when Wilbur started to notice a few things.

First off Tommy was quiet, not every once and awhile but all of the time, he just didn’t seem to speak and if he did it was in an intentionally quiet tone.

Secondly Techno; he had been more jumpy then usual, Wilbur had tried to mess with his hair like he normally would but Techno would jerk away. When Wilbur asked Techno shrugged, “You scared me,” Wilbur grabbed the sides of his face, chittering at him in a singsong ‘baby’ voice “Awwww! I’m sorry my little Technoblade I’m sorry,”. Techno flipped him off and shoved him away.

Phil would randomly mess with his hair when bored or zoning out but most recently when Phil had gone to, Techno had ducked away.

Wilbur briefly considered if Griffin had anything to do with it but quickly pushed it away, he trusted him. Wilbur had racked his brain trying to think of reasons as to why his brothers were acting differently but he kept coming back to Griffin. They had started acting this way when Griffin showed up but Wilbur didn’t want to point fingers just yet, he’d just have to watch.

He got his answer in two days.

Wilbur had been heading to his math class when he saw Griffin run up behind Techno, grabbing his hair and pulling him back. Techno turned to face him, shoulders slumping, he pulled a folded piece of paper out of his pocket and handed it off to Griffin, whose eyes lit up.

He took the paper then walked past Techno, shoving him too hard to be friendly. Wilbur frowned, changing course, he walked up to Techno and tapped him on the shoulder.

“Hey what the fuck was that?” He asked sharply. Techno’s face faltered and gave him away but he still tried to play dumb.

“What was what?”

“The thing with Griffin with the paper, what was that?”

Techno froze, just staring at him, Wilbur could see the internal panic in his eyes.

“Don’t mentally check out on me,” Wilbur said, snapping his fingers in front of Techno’s face, “What happened?”

They stood there for a moment, much to the dismay of the other students, before Techno bolted. He dodged away from Wilbur and slipped into the crowd before Wilbur could grab him.

Wilbur groaned, calling after him, “What good does running do? We live together!” But he got no response.

Which is why he jumped Techno right as he got home from school. He had cut through a few neighborhoods and hoped a couple of fences to beat Techno home.

He grabbed his wrist firmly, trying to drag Techno into the living room, “I’ll give you credit, you managed to weasel out of the conversation for, like what, three hours or so? Nice going Tech, real clever.”

Techno said nothing, just staring at him with a blank expression.

“I’m not letting go of this so you can space out as much as you want, I’ve got nowhere to be,”

Techno scoffed, “I can definitely space out long then you can,”

“You’d think that-hey wait! Do not try to distract me, now tell me what happened earlier or I’m going to crush you,”

Techno shrugged, avoiding his gaze, “It’s not a big deal, just the answers for our Bio homework-”

“Why?”

“What do you mean why? He just needed some help-”

“Yeah but you don’t give answers, I’ve never seen you give direct answers to anyone other than Skeppy and Niki, that’s not like you.” Wilbur stared Techno down, trying to get him to break.

“So? People change, why are you so fixated on this?”

“It’s just that- You’ve been- both you and Tommy have been acting differently recently, it all started when Griffin showed up and I just- I don’t know, I’m kind of worried,” Wilbur trailed off, not sure what else to say.

Techno sighed, tapping his fingers on his knee nervously, “Uh, well, you're not wrong on the Griffin thing, uh, he,” He groaned, “Why is this so hard? Griffin did kind of threaten me and I know he has been saying shit to Tommy and he just laughs it off but I can tell it bothers him-”

“Hold on, he what?” Wilbur’s eyes narrowed, “He’s been talking shit about Tommy and threatening you? What the hell is wrong with him! He never seemed like the type of person to do this- are you okay?”

“I-I’m fine Wilbur, It’s not that big of a deal and-”

“It is a big deal! He acted like he was my friend, like some timid shy guy, and then he does this shit to you guys- what the hell is his problem!” He had stood up and started pacing, fist against his mouth, eyes flashing with fire.

Techno stood up, placing a hand on Wilbur’s shoulder, “It’s okay! It’s okay, it’s not that bad,” He wasn’t sure what to say to placate his brother when he was this mad.

“Oh I gonna kill him,”

“Don’t, you get suspended and then it’ll mess with your job and-”

“Okay fine, I’ll get him some other way but he’s never coming back here.”

It had been two days, Wilbur was just waiting for the right opening. He had acted pleasant around Griffin but everytime they would run into his brothers Wilbur saw what they were talking about, things he had previously tried to ignore, Tommy’s forced smile after a joke, Techno trying to pull away from Griffin’s iron grip on his shoulder, Griffin’s not so friendly shoves, and it made his blood boil.

Wilbur knew he had to confront him that day. It was after lunch, they were cutting through an empty locker bay when Wilbur shoved Griffin into the wall, arm across his chest.

“Wilbur what the fu-”

“Did you honestly think I wouldn’t find out how you’ve been treating my brothers?”

“I don’t know what you’re talking about-”

“Don’t lie-”

“What has gotten into you? I haven’t done anything to your brothers!”

“Shut up, you can blabber and lie all you want, I don’t care, but if you ever even come close to my brothers I will beat you into the ground, do you understand me?”

Griffin said nothing, he just glared back at Wilbur.

“They are very important to me, never forget that,” He let go of Griffin, who half slid down the lockers.

Wilbur walked away, feeling confident that Griffin would stay away, otherwise he’d make him.