#but it's okay bc now I have his autograph on it! My life is complete

[mangle-my-mind]

This week of the VG25 challenge is dedicated to That Far-Out Sound - the music!!! And I have a lot of thoughts and things to scream about, but for now, please accept MY COPY OF THE SOUNDTRACK SIGNED BY TODD HAYNES, CHRISTINE VACHON, MICKO WESTMORELAND, AND (FINALLY) EWAN MCGREGOR!!!

[moonjxsung]

upon learning the term bedrotting i feel like 80% of my life has been just that. so i completely get it, i bedrot unless i absolutely need to go out (✨depression✨)

fr perv hanji brings out my past wattpad dramatic af 1D fic self. i love him, he also lives in my head rent free because the perv ji character just fits him soooo well. and that thing your ex did was super hanji coded too if he’s feeling especially confident. manifesting perv hanji everyday✨

choi minho, the man that you are. he’s also my baby, so pretty so hot and so nice😭 the greenest green flag to ever exist. i saw an article the other day bc someone accused him of being a bully in HS (and first off like wtf that man is like 30+yrs old, why you bringing up his hs life at this age). the thing is that his former classmates were like “wtf hell no, bro is obsessed with a soccer team that hasn’t one in 20 yrs, you really think he’s a bully?” 😭😂😂😂 they said that he used to get snsd autographs for his teachers and friends. literally an angel baby. also, ur minho dream, care to elaborate??👀

and frrrrr what’s up with these exes here? are you guys okay? i thankfully don’t think i ever had a situation like that with anyone, ex or not, and if i did, i def repressed it. but i always remember this situation a friend of mine was in. so she was my bestie for like all of high school (she dumped me for the church💔 my religious trauma fr) and she was in a band and one of her mates introduced her to this other guy who played guitar (conveniently, he was also really really good friends with my current bf at that time). anyways we were like 17 (my bf and i) and she was a year younger so 16. and we were just finishing our list of college applications, they saw each other randomly bc he auditioned for a band that she was in and he started texting her a lot and offering to take her to band practice (thankfully her parents were like overprotective so it never happened). mind you, he was born in 95 and she was 00. so if we were in like grade 11 or 12 he was like well into uni. so, she tells me that she’s going to this uni like three hours away from where i was going. and i’m like all happy and supportive and whatever and she’s just like “oh and _______ told me that he studies like 15minutes away from my campus so he said that i could go to his apartment and we could read comics” and i was just like 🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩and i told her that that was absolutely insane and reading comics def didn’t mean reading comics. so she got kinda mad and we stopped talking about him. and like a year later (she ended up not going to that uni), i stayed at her house once and she told me that he turned out to be a super sketchy guy. and she’s always been this really really physically beautiful person like main visual fr, but soooo naive, and shit like this happed so frequently. she once told me that in middle school, she was kinda dating a guy from 12th grade so she was like 13 and he was like 17-18🚩🚩🚩 so yeah, men suck. i’m thankful to have never experienced something like that or anything but im sure that my rbf and the paranoia and resistance my parents inflicted on me in terms of men helped.

so yeah, if there’s anything that the minors that sneak into ur blog should know is: that older guy that’s talking to you is 100% an absolute creep, pls stop talking to him🙏🏻

anyways bb, i hope you have soooo much fun watching the ateez coachella streaming!!! i will be with u @ heart bc im def watching it here, last week’s was really freaking awesome.

-🐈‍⬛

WE LOVE BEDROTTINGGGG my plans for tomorrow are just to bedrot bc this week was tiring as hell and my sister’s getting sick so I have preemptively planned to stay in and sleep as much as I physically can in between writing. I am so excited ‼️‼️

PLEASE something about perv Hanji just gets me GOING my ex is fucking trash but he did the most pervy shit sometimes and I just imagine it as Hanji au now to repress the bad memories 😭 I remember we were sexting @ thanksgiving dinner one year while he was literally sitting next to his entire family and he left the table to send me videos of him taking care of himself in the backseat of his car like if that’s not SO Hanji 😭😭😭😭 PLEASE. I would melt

THE MINHO THING PWLWAASSKKEKE I SAW THAT TOO AND I WAS LAUGHING SOOO HARD CHOI MINHO IS THE GREENEST FLAG EVERRRRR NO WAY YALL WANT TO PRETEND HE WAS A BULLY 😭😭 also my dream was v short lived BUT I dreamt that he had to go to work in my place for some reason and run some of my meetings for me and so we met up so he could give me business updates and we were just sitting so close to each other and laughing and getting zero work done LMFAO I remember thing “oh my god I have to fuck this man” PLSLSLWLEKEKSMJS HE’S SO FINE……….

Oh my god that story about your friend is insane 😭 that sucks that she ended up dropping you for the church (she’s missing out on the best friendship frfr) but I hope she’s gotten a little smarter about avoiding weird guys and sorta understanding the implications of what they say :/ my sister used to work at the movies when she was like 16 and one of her coworkers was this 25 year old weirdo who snapchatted her once inviting her to “watch marvel movies together” and we were instantly like OHHHH THAT’S NOT…….

Sagely words of advice from all of us here on stayblr stay away from older men w creep vibes AND don’t pursue anything with anyone who clearly isn’t over their ex 😀😀😀😀😀😀

ALSO BBY I JUST FINISHED COACHELLA STREAMING AAAAHQHWJSMSKS THEY SOMEHOW DID EVEN BETTER THAN LAST WEEK)????? HOWWW IS THAT POSSIBLE…, ALSO “GOLDEN HOUR” NEW COMEBACK IN SUMMER????? IM SO HYPED I LOVE ATEEZ SO MUCH FUCKKKK 😭😭😭🫶🫶🫶‼️‼️

I love you baby I hope you had the bestttt day !!!!!! 💓💖💘💗

[herohawks]

dabihawks tattoo/actor!au pt3

part 1 / part 2

here’s the thing: even tho they’ve gone on one (1) date, hawks has a busy as shit schedule, and dabi’s isn’t much better so they text - A LOT

they have different texting styles.

dabi: uses proper grammar and punctuation (”What are you up to tonight, birdie?”), sends everything in one block of text even if it’s lengthy, sends ‘tasteful’ nudes to fuck with hawks (& bc it’s fun to imagine hawks flustered/annoyed). he’s also more active at night, responding promptly with little delay versus the day time where hawks has to wait hours for a reply sometimes.

hawks: does not use proper grammar or punctuation (”do these pants make my ass look flat b honest”), sends five hundred texts with four words each instead of just 1-2 texts to the point that dabi knows not to check his phone right away when it goes off bc he knows there’s still twenty more that need to come thru; and, funnily enough, hawks actually doesn’t send nudes to dabi at all bc he’s too paranoid that his phone will get hacked and hawks just can’t risk that type of scandal

miruko catches on quickly that hawks has a big fat crush on someone and hawks falls apart like a stack of cards and confesses that he’s started dating dabi BUT he makes her swear that she won’t tell anyone

and rumi takes bro code very seriously, so she promises she won’t tell anyone in exchange that hawks tells her everything she regrets this soon enough when hawks won’t stfu about dabi

hawks shows rumi some secret pics he’s taken of dabi caught unawares (no nudes tho) and rumi admits that he’s pretty attractive in that bad boy vibez kinda way. not her type, but she digs his style. and he makes hawks happy, so that’s always a plus in her book. dabi does look kinda familiar, but rumi chalks it up to bad boys looking kinda the same

life goes on, but eventually, hawks slips up and posts a selfie on his insta story, not realizing dabi’s behind him, back to the camera and shirtless. ofc, hawks’ followers see it and go ape shit, demanding answers on this mystery man with the tattoos. hawks turns off his dm’s for a while as he locks himself into his house and has a mini freak out bc fuck they hadn’t discussed what would happen if their relationship got out - hawks hasn’t even told him that he’s a freakin’ celebrity!! he knows this is the beginning of the end.

but, hawks is nothing if not barely an adult. so he invites dabi over and spills the beans - tells him he’s been lying this whole time and that he’s actually an actor who may be a teeny tiny bit famous, and that he’d posted a selfie on his insta w/o realizing dabi had been in the bkg and now everyone is freaking the fuck out which in turn, is making hawks freak the fuck out so yes he will completely 100% understand if dabi wants to break up with him now and to please make it quick and painless

and dabi, nonplussed, arcs a brow and is just like “okay? i already knew that, bird brain” hawks: what?! how? dabi: i dont live under a rock. i watch tv and read the news. also, your face is plastered on the billboard right outside your complex - i see it every time i come here

and yeah, hawks is feeling pretty dumb, but also relieved but also annoyed!! he has so many feelings that he ends just kissing the shit out of dabi bc he doesn’t know how to compute his emotions rn. 

after, hawks asks “what now?” and dabi shrugs bc, well, cat’s outta the bag at this point, right? personally, dabi has no qualms about being open with his relationship with hawks, but he’s also not super eager to be back in the public eye so to speak. but hawks is tired of hiding who he is and is like ok, great then we’re official and dabi is like ok cool can we get back to making out or... ?

so after this point, hawks makes it official: posts pictures with dabi in them and adds cutesy captions, talks about him in interviews and with fans who ask polite questions, even brags about dabi to his coworkers though they have yet to meet dabi in person.

and even tho hawks is so happy and proud to be able to tell the world he’s dating dabi, there’s still a part of him that worries that dabi won’t be able to handle this kind of life style. one where hawks (and now dabi’s) life is up for public consumption, where the paparazzi give them no moment’s peace when they catch wind of their presence, where any little misstep could lead to a scandal.

hawks frets and worries, but dabi handles it like a champ, doesn’t get flustered when cameras are suddenly flashing in his face while they’re taking a walk, is unphased when hawks is swarmed for autographs and pictures in the mid-conversation. at one point, hawks questions how dabi is handling this sudden shift in lifestyle so well.

dabi’s answer? he’d probably kill a man if it got hawks to stop wearing his sad sack of shit “disguise” every time they went out somewhere. being a little famous is a small price to pay so he doesn’t have to stare at hawks’ dumb sunglasses and hat indoors combo like a fuckin’ twat.

[onstarsandiron]

Band AU Outline

Because where else am I going to put this?

[Lol I made it long, it’s under the readmore]

Scene 1 is Jax is trying to get coffee for his shitty boss and this asshole bumps into him, spills it all over him, and has the goddamn nerve to not stick around. Jax doesn’t know how he feels about the $50 bill casually thrown at him before Asshole runs off

Scene 2 is Robb arriving late to after school rehearsal and smelling faintly like coffee and his stupid brother is there and sneers at him because Eric is sooooo perfect and Eric gets to be the one that plays the violin, the instrument that everyone likes, and Robb is here playing the bass. Well fuck you, Eric, because Robb’s a damn good bass player and he actually likes how it sounds, thank you very much. If he’d gotten stuck with the viola he would have killed himself; he’d literally be second fiddle to Eric.

Scene 3 is Jax on his lunch break talking to Ana about their bassist or something I think? 

Scene 4 is Robb secretly practicing his electric bass in a quiet part of the mansion, like he always does, playing along with youtube videos and learning whatever he feels like

Scene 5 is Jax arriving at the venue and finally feeling the stress of the day wash off a little

Scene 6 is Robb arriving at the venue; he’s got a genuine ticket, but he brought his electric bass to try and say he’s part of the opening act or something and get backstage to try and get an autograph (maybe got dared to get one?) This goes, of course, wrong when the stage runner insists on personally seeing him to the correct dressing room saying they’ve been looking for their goddamn bassist all over the place, where the fuck have you been? and just shoves him in 

Queue: “YOU!” “Me?” Robb studied the other’s face, looking for where he’d know those features from. Suddenly it came to him. Oh. Oh no. Coffee boy. “Oh no,” Rob said, unable to help it, “Me.” 

Robb fucking OWES Jax for that bullshit, he may have payed for replacement coffee, but you can’t pay for replacement dignity, and that was his FAVORITE sweater. What’s that instrument he has? A bass? Fucking good because Barger is a no-show and they’re on in 15. 

Ana’s drums, Di does keyboard and synth, Jax is lead (only) guitar and lead (only) singer -- Di cannot carry a note to save the galaxy and Ana gets too excited and just ends up screaming more than singing (you physically cannot stop her from doing this, mind you, so mostly Jax just doesn’t give her a mic. It helps only so very much. To be fair, it is Ana’s band, so she has a certain right to do whatever she wants) They are the Dossier [Idk if I wanna include Xu and Elara in here yet; if I do, Elara’s a techie and Xu is additional tech support + Social media manager/marketing/gig booking/etc]

Queue the gang tearing up Robb’s pretty boy outfit to get grungier bc if you believe Ana started some kinda new wave bullshit band full of crooners you’re goddamn wrong. They do loud hard rock and you can die made about it. Also Jax applies Robb’s eyeliner and Robb has never had a more intimate moment with an individual without actually touching one another in his life. 

Then there’s the show. Lucky for Robb they’re playing all covers and it’s stuff that he knows. unluckily for Robb, it’s completely different to playing quietly in his tucked away chamber to youtube videos. He makes do, though. 

He’s kind of mouthing along to the words he knows and then he’s singing them quietly and then he’s singing them outright and then Jax notices and somehow there’s now been a mic placed in front of him and he’s become backup vocals now and if he believed in fake things he’d think Jax was actually pleased about this. Wow, performing sure makes your heart beat hard.

Then they’re taking a bow and off the stage before he even knows it. He thinks now he’ll be shooed off, but actually they let him watch the actual concert with them and then there’s like an after party and they let him tag along and actually he has a really good time (He gets that autograph he wanted too lol)

Like a week later he gets a call from Ana -- Di had made him sign a goddamn liability waiver including personal and emergency contact info -- and turns out that Barger skipped town for reasons which are genuinely undisclosed but 99% probably because he has a gambling problem. They need a new bassist. He worked out well in a pinch, does he think he can make practices monday at 7? 

So that’s how Robb starts sneaking around to be in this band and play little gigs here and there and it isn’t the sort of places anyone from his circle would be involved in and it isn’t so big that he’s so very worried about an internet presence (he does “”Shyly”” hide behind his hand when Di tries to get pictures for their social media). Robb like tells his mom he’s doing some extracurricular thing and turns his phone off and pays off his chauffeur to say nothing

There’s probably some cute scenes or clips of outings or something. They go thrift shopping to get Robb some actual stage clothes, they hang out with Ana’s moms, they don’t talk about Jax’s parents ever and don’t mention that Jax pretty much lives with Ana or the rotating cast of personnel through the house, there’s heart-to-hearts, there’s laughs, there’s drama, there’s friendship blossoming, walls breaking, truly incredible stuff

Then comes the inevitable. The day of the Big School Concert is also the day of the big Battle of The Bands or something. It’s some sort of contest where they play some songs and then they play one they were like assigned and they were assigned Space Oddity and one thing is that the judges are really looking for those strings but Di’s synths just aren’t cutting it; they’re timing and intonation just aren’t right. So Robb is like “Okay, you can’t ask any questions, and I’m going to be like on the wire BUT I will be there and I will bring strings. You have to trust me.” 

And then it’s Robb’s concert, and bananas things happen and he gets out of there with the bass and we’re switching back and forth between everyone being antsy and worrying and Robb booking it with this big ass piece of shit on his back and he’s in the back of the car fucking up his $300 suit. Maybe there’s a run-in with Eric? I kinda really want him to show up a little worse for ware for Jax to fuss over. 

And Jax and Ana and Di are like Bass??? Suit???? Hair half slicked back??? Are those LOAFERS??? Is that a BLACK EYE?? [one of the judges later asks the same thing and Robb just replies “We are a grunge band, ma’am]  But there’s no time to fuss! Because he rolls up literally like two minutes from going on stage!

They rush out and they play their song and it’s magical and fucking gay and Di’s going fucking ham on the piano and the whole room is vibing. Then they play a couple more songs or something idk I don’t want to like ruin this emotional high but I do need to justify the electric base being there for the next bit which issss

Di and Ana shove Robb and Jax into the dressing room and they FINALLY make out. And it’s amazing and heavy and full of emotional and physical catharsis and it’s just exactly what everyone -- robb, jax, the reader -- needs. 

And then there’s a knock on the door. Followed by “Robbert, darling, are you in there?” 

And Robb’s blood goes cold. Because of course Eric told his mother. Of course he forgot to turn his phone off. Of course, just as he finally has the things he wants, what he’s been craving for all his life, here comes his mother reminding him of what he is supposed to be. 

“What’s wrong?” Jax asks, “Who’s that?” But Robb can’t bear to say a word. It’ll all become obvious in a minute anyway. All he can do is hope that the sadness on his face shows, for once he wants his stupid face to show his goddamn emotion to the one person, and that Jax will know that’s how he really feels and won’t take this next part too personally. 

His parting words are to hand his electric bass to Jax and say, “Here, can you keep this safe for me? Valerios aren’t supposed to play these sorts of things.” 

And before Jax can say anything Robb turns away and makes his face a mask and replies, “Yes, Mother.” 

The door opens and there stands his mother, graying hair pulled into an elegant bun, still in the dress from the recital. Eric stands there too with his sharp suit, looking as if their tussle had never happened and like he didn’t need to wash blood off his rings. There were also a couple of men in suits, some of his mother’s assistants. One entered unceremoniously and silently took the bass from the room. 

“My dearest, whatever are you here for? I believe we agreed to a dinner at your favorite restaurant for your recital tonight,” it was Eric’s favorite, Robb hated the place, “This event was not on my itinerary.” 

“I apologize for the delay, Mother,” Robb said, as if he’d made them wait five minutes instead of running off across town and surely ruining their evening, “I owed a debt, and as you know that cannot be outstanding.” 

The barest hint of anger flashed over her face; she absolutely hated when he threw Valerio Family Names items back at her. He must have been hanging around with Ana too much, because he found himself relishing in having made her mad. The flash was gone almost before it was there, though, and her face was cool once more. 

“And what, pray tell, did you owe to these... people,” his mother said, eyeing Jax in a way that made Robb so angry he could feel the white hot rage in the center of his chest. But he was a Valerio, and he knew better than to show it like Ana was allowed to. 

“Did you not catch the show, Mother?” Robb asked, protectively stepping between her gaze and Jax and praying that it didn’t show his cards too thoroughly, “They required some strings accompaniment. I lent them some. Our transaction is done, I have no more business here.” 

He had so much more business here. He had results to hear. An after party to go to. Pizza to eat. Jokes to laugh at. A boy to kiss. 

But now all that business is done for. Who wants to hear results for a song played by a liar? Who wants to go to an after party or eat pizza or tell jokes with a Valerio? Who would want to kiss him after seeing who he really is: a spineless wimp who is doomed to live and die by his mother’s whims. This whole arrangement was doomed from the start, and he always knew it. He was just too happy to let himself know that. 

His mother was clearly displeased with him, but what was new? “So I see,” She said at last, “Well then, come along, no need to tarry in this... venue.” 

“Of course, Mother,” Robb said. A cool nothingness washed over him. He knew his lines. He knew his place. This was who he was. 

Robb left the room, not sparing Jax a single look over his shoulder. He told himself it was because his mother would certainly notice, and she would, but really he couldn’t bear to see whatever expression Jax was wearing -- betrayal, shock, anger? It would only break his heart further. 

As he left the room he now saw that Di and Ana were looking on in shock. Apparently they hadn’t stepped too far away. “Hey!” Ana yelled, “What’s going on?” 

“Did you not hear the entire conversation about what’s ‘going on’?” Erik asked, and Robb wanted to punch him again. Apparently Ana wanted to too, because Di instinctively reached to hold her back just as she began forward. 

“And who is this, Robbert?” his mother asked, as if they were at the zoo and she was asking which animal was in this enclosure. It was so hard for Robb to see Ana riled up without getting riled up too. 

“The leader of the band, Mother,” Robb said, carefully not naming her. She was nondescript, hard to track down by description alone. Hopefully more trouble than his mother thought worth it. He never wanted any of this night to come back to hurt the band. 

“Well, as you’ve heard, his debt is payed, so he is leaving. Say goodbye, Robbert.” 

“Goodbye,” Robb said, feeling like a dog, “Thank you for the experience.” That was as close as he could get to what he wanted to say. Thank you for being his friend, for being there for him, for letting him be dumb and clumsy, for a thousand things Ana has done for him. Her and Di and Jax. And all he can say is, “Thank you for the experience.” He makes him sick. 

And like that he turns with his mother and brother, because he is nothing but their dog. A spare for if something goes wrong. An extra to be married off for a good business deal once he’s ripe. That’s all he is and all he will ever be. 

He can hear Ana yelling after them, struggling against Di’s hold. He can picture Di’s face as he struggles between holding Ana back for her own good and letting her go because he knows she’ll at least land a hit. He tries not to picture Jax at all. 

But don’t worry because I hate sad endings but idk exactly what I want to happen but basically a few hours pass and then either Siege or Ana is like “So, when are we going?” and Jax is like “? Going where?” “To break your boyfriend out.” and idk, but it works out in the end. 

[lanasaved]

cue me, clanking noisily at a nearby manhole as i attempt to scrabble my way bk out of the sewer like the stinky little rat tht i am. enchanté, ghouls! some of u might remember me (nai/from manchester so i pronounce things like a gallagher brother n i’m profusely sry abt it) bt if nt i hd to drop off the face of the Earth rp wise fr a hot minute there bt now im bk n i couldn’t resist reviving lana so???? here we r. u kno the drill more abt her under the cut!!

( cis-female ) haven’t seen LANA JAMESON around in a while. the KRISTINE FROSETH lookalike has been known to be (+) VIVACIOUS & (+) ALLURING, but SHE can also be (-) UNRELIABLE & (-) CARELESS. The 22 year old is a SOPHOMORE majoring in BALLET. I believe they’re living in AUDAX but I popped by earlier and no one answered the door. ( nai. 22. gmt. she/ha/the beast from split. )

some random aesthetics: a red water pistol topped up with caribbean rum and covered in stickers of cartoon pin up girls, a vinyl record whirring silently because you got too distracted by a stranger’s hands to reach over and flip sides, giant inflatable flamingos floating in the aftermath of a pool party, smudgy lipstick kisses left like an autograph on someone else’s mirror

SO i think in terms of explainin where she’s been fr the past month i’m gna say tht she didn’t rly.... tell a lot of ppl??? probably only a select few bt to others im guessin she was pretty vague bc she hates discussin anythin serious/personal. anyway essentially she’s been back @ home helpin her brother out n i won’t elaborate much more bc im a thot

frm this point on ive jst pasted her old intro bc im the laziest woman alive n that’s jst life Babey

she’s local to the ny area i jst havent decided where exactly she grew up tbh. probably somewhere upstate

okay so her mum is an old money socialite / three time campaign model way back when n her dad is a big record label mogul. he owns a label called jameson records n they repped a few rly big rock bands back in the eighties, altho they’re mostly known for ‘poppy injects’ whose lead singer had a big heroin scandal tht brought down his career. lana p much grew up around musicians snorting lines instead of spooning down cereal fr breakfast n her parents were v much absent her whole life

they’re pretty well off obviously n bc of her relation to such a big music industry figure she’s hung out w a fair few relatively high rep ppl thru her teens. she amassed kind of an instagram following mainly fr her style (v penny lane-esque in some aspects aka lots of fur cuff trimmed jackets bt then also jst.... a wild combination of everything honestly. pastel faux fur coats, seventies style platforms, flame red cowboy boots, pastel coloured fishnet tights n glitter used like highlight Everywhere) n bc she’s undeniably very pretty

her parents always kind of jst… didn’t like her. it was v clear that she was an accident after her older brother caleb n that even when they just had him alone they weren’t cut out for parenthood. they always kind of jst… ignored her n hoped she’d go away. she had to mke herself microwave meals when she ws only like 12 bc they’d forget to get her anything. once she went like 6 days without her mum even looking her in the eyes once

despite this tho!!! she’s always been insanely close w her brother caleb. he’s her whole world. thts why when he decided to sign up to the army she ws understandably scared bt supported him regardless. bt then he wound up getting discharged under grounds of severe ptsd when he witnessed his best friend die in an explosion tht took place in a shock raid. caleb returned home n he was never the same n lana kind of felt like he’d died out there too. he’s in n out of hospital a lot n it’s rly hard on her bt she doesn’t tlk abt it to anyone rly

growing up lana was always a huge social butterfly. jst literally…. knew everyone n everyone definitely knew her. she ws one of those girls tht ws kind of impossible to ignore or forget. very animated, always made u feel like u were the centre of the universe whenever she spoke to u, always made it feel like u were best friends even if ud only spoken to her once. she has this magnetic way abt her tht is kind of hard to find in real life. it’s something ud only rly expect out of a movie character

she’s always been insatiably spontaneous n adventurous. always doing something weird n wild every weekend. she has ten thousand stories tht always earn a laugh or a gasp over how ridiculously absurd they r

anyway so after caleb got back he was rly withdrawn n depressed. he shut lana out n was kind of harsh to her a lot of the time, always telling her to leave him alone or pushing her away. it didnt help either tht lana had a rly traumatic experience w some of her dad’s colleagues at the label when she ws 16 n he was away n she cldnt even tell him abt it once he was bk bc of his own traumas. she kind of jst shut it all in n kept it to herself

this obviously?? made her spiral a lot. she was already a girl tht loved sex (she’d only rly done foreplay before tho) but since her trauma it got…. completely out of hand. it got to a point where she couldnt rly go 2 days without it, probably not even 1. her lowest point has probably been scrolling thru craiglist for anonymous encounters n meeting up w strangers on there fr a quick fuck jst for the thrill even tho it’s insanely dangerous n she cld wind up getting herself killed. it’s v clear at this point tht she has a sex addiction whether she’s ever admitted it or not. in fact she’s so… shameless in her endeavours tht she’s actually currently having an affair w her ballet instructor tanya who’s engaged to b married

she also currently? is working as a cam girl. she found this website bc she trawls… porn stuff a lot n she wound up applying to work as one bc she thought it’d b fun n wld earn her some disposal income (even tho she frankly doesn’t need it bc she’s already well off). the guy tht manages all of the girls on the site is kind of suspect n it’s a whole plot i’m gna unravel where it’s actually like the front for a cult or something wild so. stay posted ig. kgjdkgjh

new development!!!!!!!! cue me trottin around doin jazz hands. she’s actually been cut off by her dad so she’s….. living off the money she has left n has to look to find a job which is jst. a nightmare fr someone like lana bc she’s insatiably irresponsible n destined to be fired from anything she tries to hold down bt. it’ll be interesting bc this means she genuinely has to keep on camming even tho she’s starting not to want to any more bc of other circumstances i won’t elaborate on jst yet winks

personality/some fun facts: uncontrollably flirty. boundlessly confident. cld make a joke out a paper bag n her comedy is sometimes surreal / absurd. she tends to laugh when she feels like crying n has a smile brighter than a ray of texas sunshine. always dapples her fingers thru the breeze when she’s driving in a car w the window down. her fav book as a child used to b alice in wonderland n she’d fantasise abt having her own little wonderland too where everyone knew her name n asked her things n took her on adventures. at the time it didn’t rly strike her how evident it was tht that was bc she was so lonely. she almost always has some sort of sweet on her, whether it’s strawberry laces or gummy bears or cherry lollipops. she adores david bowie n prince n madonna n anyone tht’s a vintage style icon w little care fr what ppl think. wildflowers r her favourites bc they’re the brightest and u can’t buy them. she’s had like 8472493874 ‘relationships’ n none of them hav lasted beyond a month / hav been terrible / hav seen her being treated badly / she’s cheated on them. i dnt think she’s actually been w anyone she hasn’t cheated on in some form or another

plot ideas: exes tht lana’s fucked over hideously. she’d probably cheat a lot and it’d be a whole…mess. mayb someone tht flipped the switch and cheated on her? a cousin plot cld b fun too. a friend tht lana fel out w bc she slept w their significant other. someone tht’s getting lana into drugs?? she’s kind of impressionable/down for anything so tht’s a likely scenario she’d get into tbh. an unrequited crush!! (either way is cool). someone tht is just hanging out w her/using her bc she has a lot of instagram followers or they want to b signed to her dad’s label. someone in a band!! she’d probably make like penny lane n b their groupie/sleep w them all fgjkshgkh. umm a good influence too mayb? oh and a past summer romance/fling tht cld either have meant a lot or not have meant anything at all. bonus points if both of them hav a diff viewpoint on it. honestly?? anything is fine i cld ramble for days. let’s get wildt!

[bidrums]

I saw Phantom of the Opera on Broadway a few weeks ago

My thoughts (in no particular order):

IT WAS SO FUCKING AMAZING OMG THIS IS WHAT MY LIFE HAS BEEN LEADING UP TO AND I LOVE IT OMGGGGGG

YOU DON’T UNDERSTAND IT’S MY FAVORITE MUSICAL AND I LOVE IT AND MY GRANDMA LOVES IT TOO AND IT WAS AMAZING GETTING TO SEE IT WITH HER BECAUSE WE BOTH HAD SO MUCH FUN AND WERE FLIPPING OUT AT THE SAME TIME IT WAS GREAT

One of the angels in the set actually lower during the Roof and Erik climbed out form behind it. As he let out the “YOOOOOOUUUUUU” it raised up and then he got on the ramp by the chandelier and laughed while it fell and if that isn’t BDE then I have no idea what is

Also when the chandelier fell it started slowly then sped up then when I thought it’d just stop there it fucking SUNG ONTO THE STAGE AND ALMOST SLAMMED INTO CHRISTINE AND THEN JUST SPARKED ALL OVER THE PLACE WHILE EVERYONE SCREAMED AND RAN AROUND AND FROM NOW ON ALL OF THE FALLS WILL HAVE TO BE THAT TO BE ACCEPTABLE SORRY I DON’T MAKE THE RULES

Christine was tiny (came up to everyone else’s shoulders tiny) and petite and had a round face but when she sang her incredibly youthful voice was so powerful and just filled the theater and honestly that casting made me understand the whole concept of why she was so surprising after voice lessons goddamn

Raoul had a moustache and I do not stan

Carlotta was amazing and hilarious but she also had this sense of maturity and weight to her that made her terrifying because on one hand hyperbole but on the other she seemed self-aware enough to know how to get ahead by hyperbole and props to the actress for that

During Masquerade Carlotta basically wore the same ugly Star Princess outfit Christine does (don’t @ me it’s hideous on her) but it had a darker color scheme and had a black veil instead of a crown and that was interesting

The Monkey killed it as usual

Mme Giry was terrifying and yeah A+ casting

Raoul was both super restrained and off the handle like he seemed disinterested and like the actor was phoning it in but also it was like he was acting like a proper Vicomte should and was basically holding in all his emotions because otherwise he’d explode and it was terrifying

All of the actors were so subtle but also over the top like it was great and explosive and I love all of them

At the beginning of Masquerade when Andre and Firmin run into each other they both had on skeleton masks but the capes were covering their outfits. Andre kinda shrugs it back and he’s wearing a suit. Firmin pulls it back in a grand gesture and he’s wearing a FULL ON SKELETON COSTUME AND ANDRE LOOKS TAKEN ABACK AND THE AUDIENCE STARTED DYING AND HONESTLY THAT’S ME AND IT SHOULD BE MEMED

We were front row of the mez and it took a lot of convincing to get my grandma to buy those tickets but then when the chandelier rose up and it was literally at eye level she gasped and when I whispered, “I told you!” she just nodded in awe

Being so close to the chandelier meant that whenever Erik went on that ramp thing it looked like he was staring at us it was great

During Wandering child he pops out of an ivy-colored cross on a memorial and then gets on the wall surrounding the graveyard. It’s super thin and so when he does and holds onto the cross for the Drama it also looks like he’s hanging on for dear life

Thank god they showed Raoul actually running up to Christine and shaking her and yelling in her face during that scene bc the yelling from the side to have her suddenly snap out of it annoyed me. This way it shows how much control Erik actually has over her and also how desperate Raoul gets to break that control

In the same vein during Why So Silent when Erik beckons Christine forward and does the “Your chains are still mine” schtick he just holds his hand out and Christine glides forward like she’s being pulled by the Force and Raoul’s right behind her and holding her hand and looking like he’s going to cut a bitch and its great

We could see almost all of the pit (but not the percussion :( I was looking forward to that but I could only kinda see the guy on cymbals and traps)

The pit was super chill and I loved looking at them

During the Il Auto ballet when Erik would do that shadow intimidation before revealing Bouquet there was one point when he was busting out belly dancer and doing a solo flamenco and everyone just lost it

Also during the ballet the dancers were nervous and dropping things and going out of sync constantly and that was such a beautiful attention to detail

Bouquet’s body slowly fell down after the set just completely disappeared and the dancers had this thing where they turned around at different times, stared in shock for a few seconds, and then chaos happened as everyone slowly realizes it and then the managers were screaming from their box to please stay seated and Raoul almost swan dived out of the box to find Christine and Erik was laughing from the ceiling it was bomb

Raoul swan dived into the lake and part of the stage opened up and he fell on a mat with an audible thud and the entire audience gasped when he just went “YEET” and did it

At one point during Music of the Night Erik just splayed himself out on the gate in what looked like a “take me” pose then Christine was half a second away from kissing him when he seemed to even notice she was close to him and he noted to the other side of the lair so fast it was hilarious

When the mannequin showed up it didn’t look like Christine (thank God) and she was genuinely curious and amazed. When it did a curtsy thing she went ramrod straight, backed away, then fainted on the floor. Erik then ran over to her and gently put his cape on her.

When he held the last note of the song the spotlight on his was the only illumination but you could see Christine getting up and moving to the boat and I loved it

Honestly whenever it was obvious that the actors were moving around in the dark I loved it because it felt more immersive and vulnerable

GODDAMN THE FINAL LAIR SCENE

When the gate comes up Raoul just rolls under int and grabs Christine which was so smart. They spend 0.30 seconds hugging then turn to the gate so fast but it’s already going down and they try so hard to get it up but it’s useless then Raoul throws her behind him and glares at Erik and A+ characterization

When Erik lets them go he makes zero eye contact and that was great

When Christine kisses him he makes the most ridiculous pose and it added to the whole “never had a speck of affection in his life” portion

Raoul gave the most defeated groan and slumped in the noose when it happened and it was so sad

When he was let go he fell on the floor then jumped right up while still obviously recovering from strangulation and was swaying around but the Fight Me was so strong he was ready for murder and it was great

Raoul was awesome in everything but the mustache

Christine was so adorable

Like, bouncing around in giddiness during Think Of Me and d

During the “curtain call” and just anytime she got excited her face would light up and she’s bounce like she couldn’t contain her joy and I loved her

During Notes/Twisted she just backed up to the desk slowly but surely until when she says “if you don’t stop this I’ll go mad” when she just spits it out, flings the score all over the desk and floor, and the runs into the center and stands so close to Raoul’s face while yelling at him

When she realized it’s Erik about 1/3 of the way into her verse she kinda runs across stage in a panic, looks back in uncertainty, then just increases the sexy by 5000%

Erik gets super uncomfortable by in and she’s practically on top of him. She was so aggressive and sexual and obviously doing it at him on purpose and honestly that was the first time I’ve seen a Christine actually going out of her way to make him uncomfortable instead of clamming up or looking at Raoul every 5 seconds, or just acting oblivious until the end of the song. So refreshing

Piangi’s death was so much like Bouquet’s death except when the curtain closed Carlotta was running up to the managers and asking what happened in the most desperate and concerned way then let out the most soul-shattering wail when they told her Piangi was dead and it gave a feel for just how close they were

When Carlotta says “She’s mad” she sounds like she just realized it and was horrified and felt so bad for treating her horrible and also so sorry for Christine’s situation

Seriously her face fell and she just. Deflated.

When Meg said “I’ll go with you” Mme Giry yelled “NO! YOU STAY HERE!” in horror and Meg just ran out of the room without a question

When Mme Giry is giving backstory and Raoul says “deformed?” his tone is just dead but also weirdly like he pities Erik and I loved it

“Accidents?” was so confused and offended

OKAY SO THEN WE STAGE DOORED AND GOT AUTOGRAPHS

I brought my novel and got four signatures

Everyone was so sweet and said hello, even if they obviously just wanted food (we went to a matinee)

Everyone who signed my book went “is this the novel?”, looked at the cover, and said “That’s so cool!”

I agree

I got autographs from Piangi, the Monkey, Firmin and the Phantom

The girl who played the money said, “I’m the quadruple threat: I sing, dance, act, and play cymbals!” with the most self-satisfied look on her face

She played the cymbals correctly which I totally respect

Piangi had a soft and slightly high voice, which I was not prepared for

Firmin said he performed at a music festival near Dallas (where my grandma is from) and she gave an affirmative that he was talking about the right one

AND HERE’S THE BEST FUCKING PART

THIS IS A SIGN FORM THE HEAVENS AND THE MUSICAL THEATER DEITIES THAT THIS SHOW AND I ARE MEANT TO BE

SO AN UNDERSTUDY WAS PLAYING PHANTOM

HIS NAME IS GREG MILLS

HIS BIO SAID THAT HE PLAYED RAOUL IN A NATIONAL TOUR

I’VE SEEN TWO NATIONAL TOUR SHOWS BEFORE GOING TO BROADWAY

WHEN HE SIGNED I MENTIONED THAT THIS WAS MY FIRST LIVE BROADWAY SHOW AND THAT WE CENTERED THE WHOLE TRIP AROUND IT

HE ASKED WHERE WE’RE FROM

WE TOLD HIM

HE SAYS OH I DID A NATIONAL TOUR AS RAOUL IN HOUSTON

I ASKED WAS IT THE 2015 ONE (BECAUSE THAT WAS THE MOST RECENT ONE)

HE SAID NO IT WAS EARLIER THEN MUTTERS SOME DATES IT COULD’VE BEEN AROUND

EVENTUALLY HE SAYS YEAH IT WAS 2008

AND I ALMOST SCREAMED

AND I TOLD HIM THAT WAS THE FIRST TIME I EVER SAW PHANTOM OF THE OPERA EVER

AND HE LOOKS AT ME TRYING TO CALCULATE MY MENTAL AGE BC I’M OBVIOUSLY REALLY YOUNG AND SO I TELL HIM HOW OLD I AM AND HE JUST KINDA MUTTERS “God I feel old” AND I SAY SORRY

BUT THEN HE SAYS HE’S GLAD I LIKED THAT SHOW BC I OBVIOUSLY LIKED IT ENOUGH TO SEE IT AGAIN

I TOLD HIM HE WAS GREAT AS RAOUL AND YES I DID ENJOY IT VERY MUCH

THEN AS WE WENT BACK TO OUR HOTEL MY GRANDMA AND I LOOKED AT EACH OTHER AND I JUST KINDA SQUEALED “He was in the first show I saw!!!!” AND SQUEEZED MY GRANDMA

SHE SAID THAT WAS AWESOME AND I AGREE

I’M GONNA BE SCREAMING THIS UNTIL THE DAY I DIE

IF ANYONE WONDERS WHY PHANTOM IS BROADWAY’S LONGEST-RUNNING SHOW WHEN PERFECTLY GOOD MUSICALS ARE UNJUSTLY GETTING AXED DOWN RIGHT AND LEFT

THIS IS REASON ENOUGH FOR IT TO STAY ON BROADWAY

JUST FUCKING

HE WAS IN THE FIRST PHANTOM I EVER SAW AND THEN IN THE FIRST PHANTOM I SAW ON BROADWAY

THIS IS FATE

THIS IS A SIGN

OMG I SERIOUSLY CAN’T EVEN ASIUHGILUSHDFOISDNRTLAU;VTOIUSRIOT;NVS;ODIUARODGHJ;S

And this concludes my thought on Phantom of the Opera on Broadway

[punkascas]

the story of the underwear cockles op

y’all wanna hear the story of how @amazinmango and i got this photo op at phxcon this weekend?

PART ONE: BEFORE THE OP

so here’s the thing: n o n e of this was planned. it was amazing, hilarious, ridiculous kismet. 

mango’s had his birthday recently, and so i brought his birthday present with me to phxcon. part of the present was a pair of jensen’s underbears (i think the text i sent mango right after jib was, “we’re close enough that it’s not weird if i buy u underwear right????”) bc i thought that was hilarious from jib and mango is a huge jensen fan and dean!boy. so the original joke was just that mango could have the bear underwear. i also got him a second pair in orange, bc orange is his fav colour. this was as far as i thought this would go. 

so i get into phoenix thursday night and give mango his present. we didn’t know there were cockles photo ops until friday afternoon when we saw hard tickets for sale. i distinctly remember being bummed that my hometown con had cockles photo ops for sale online but phxcon, the one i was actually going to, did not. but obviously once i saw they were available, like. THERE WAS ONLY ONE CHOICE. so after deciding it was completely financially irresponsible when we have no money, i bought the op. 

i can’t remember when it occurred to us that we had both the underbears and a pair of lucky orange underwear for misha in our hotel room. we wanted to do something fun and funny for the op, and cracked ourselves up at the idea. but we were also aware that it could be, you know, kind of sort of maybe intensely uncomfortable to be like (a) i know what underwear u were wearing and (b) here i brought pairs of them for you to further laugh over. i have a T E R R I B L E akdslkjkas embarrassment squick, so we didn’t want to do anything that made us uncomfortable, and we definitely didn’t want to do anything that would make misha or jensen uncomfortable. we wanted them to have fun with us and play around with us. 

we ran our idea passed our roomie, who has some good con experience, to see if she thought it would fly or not. we agreed on judging our plan based on their mood on the day and asking them if they felt comfortable enough to do it was the best course of action, with a back-up plan ready to go immediately just in case, so j+m knew we were serious that they could totally pass on it if it was weird. CONSENT AND SAFE SPACE. we were hella concerned about this. 

PART TWO: THE PHOTO OP

sunday we get all our props together, the underwear for Plan A and the wigs for Plan B. (both mango and i have mohawks, so we bought them mohawk wigs so the four of us could just mohawk it up). finally tickets for our op get called and i bounce all the way down the corridor next to mango, first as a joke and then for serious because i started to get nervous/excited and asking mango who was gonna talk and how were we gonna get the backstory out quickly that they were mango’s birthday underwear and it was just too funny and coincidental to us to pass up and we love them and we’re sorry and they can totally say no. 

so we get into the room, and at this point i’m chanting PROPERTY TAXES in my head to try to adult maturely and repress the hysterical giggling i’ve been doing for the last half hour, while also dancing around bc i always need to move, especially when i’m all adrenaline-y and happy and slightly manic (as anyone who has ever drank with me will tell u), and mango’s false mask of calm is completely dissolving as he starts swearing and we can SEE THEM and they’re RIGHT THERE and we really want Plan A to be a go but we don’t know and also they are like two meters from us holy shit holy shit breathe. 

at the j2 panel, jensen seemed like he was in a good mood, but that had also been a couple hours passed already. so we check in the handler, and she’s like, nah you’re fine they’ve been happy and playful all day go ask. so then it was us! and we showed them what we brought and did our quick spiel that i bought the underwear for mango for his birthday and they can totally say no; we just thought it was funny. so jensen and misha are, like, inspecting the underwear and jensen does really seem to like those underbears. he was like checking the size and holding them up against himself to see how they’d fit. mango mentions to jensen that i bought one of the last pairs because when i reloaded the website after paying, they said SOLD OUT. and then jensen leans over to misha and laughs that he should’ve bought stock in ethika. 

so at this point we’ve taken up wayyyy more time than we’re supposed to and get waved to move to the side out of the frame (we already mentioned we didn’t want to be in the photo once they said yes), and jensen and misha pose, and then given us back the underwear and i got a quick hug from jensen. 

PART THREE: THE AUTOGRAPHS

obviously after this both mango and i are, like, hysterical and super happy and can’t believe they actually fucking did the thing. and had fun with it. and it wasn’t awkward and they don’t hate us or think we’re creepy and we’re going to have an amazing, amazing photo. so, like. i know a lot of people will cry before/during/after their photo ops, but for me, apparently my response is just loud, uncontrollable pleased cackling. i laughed for the next hour and 15 minutes just continuously and bouncing around and waiting impatiently for the photos to come out so we could take a picture and be like  LOOK AT WHAT WE DID. which is when i posted the op yesterday. 

right after that, jensen and jared started signing autographs. so we’re waiting for our row to be called while i’m watching my phone start to blow up with notes and questions and mango and i also realize that we’re starving and need to go get food stat. 

we’re standing in line for jensen’s auto cramming bacon-loaded grease sandwiches in our faces with one hand and watching our phones with the other hand when i start to notice the op getting tagged with #underbears and people asking if we’re going to get them signed. and, okay, i love you fandom. i love you so, so much, so i say this with all the love in the world. but when i read the tag #underbears i literally fell down on the floor laughing because that was the funniest shit i had ever heard in my life at that point. and was like, MANGO WE NEED JENSEN TO SIGN THESE I HAVE TO TELL HIM ABOUT THE UNDERBEARS TAG. and mango was like, well we’ll ask but say he can sign something else, and i was like, no no no he h a s  t o i have to tell him that his underwear has a tag and it’s great and i love everything right now. 

so again, once we got up near the table, we asked the handler if it’d be okay, and they were like, oh please he’s signed like four pairs already. so: score! 

jensen totally remembered us, and we thanked him for being such a good sport about everything, and then i told him about the tag. which his response to was an eyebrow and a, “well, r a w r.” in that smirky smug playful attractive asshole way of his. and then he signed the underbears with rawr as well. 

we thought that’d be it (i was after mango for autos, and was waiting for jensen to sign my thing quickly), but then jensen asks mango if he’s tried ethika and what he thinks and mango says yes and then jensen gets into this, like, two minute discussion about underwear preferences and how comfortable ethika is. to the point where he leans back, spreads his legs, pulls up the hem of his shirt, and shows us like almost the entire crotch of the underwear he’s currently wearing. which were these:

so. you know. THAT HAPPENED. 

he’s also a size large. 

you’re welcome, fandom.

and to anyone STILL wondering if it was the bear underwear jensen had on at JIB: uhh, yes, yes it was. and to anyone STILL wondering if we made jensen uncomfortable: no, no, we didn’t. we took a lot of pains not to, and he laughed and joked around with us both at the op and at the autos. 

we’re getting the jpeg, so high resolution is coming, so you can see their ridiculous smug teasing faces better. i’m probs gonna write up something about the rest of my time at the con, because that was ALSO amazing, but at least now you have the Saga of the Underbears. 

[jemmafitzsimmons]

Meeting Iain and Elizabeth - My Weekend at C2E2

I don’t really know how to start this because this weekend was such an experience, and I had to the most wonderful time. I know a lot of you have been asking about my time there, so here’s a full rundown of my weekend. Most is under the cut because IT’S A LOT.

I’ll start with what you really want to hear. As most of you already know, Iain and Elizabeth were both the kindest human beings on the planet. Iain was just so nice and thoughtful, and he genuinely enjoyed meeting everyone at the con. You could just tell he was having a lovely time, which made the whole experience even better. And of course, Elizabeth was a complete angel, running a guy down to return his pen, and was completely sweet throughout the whole weekend.

Now, onto my Saturday experience!

First off, I have to thank @eclecticmuses​ for letting me follow her around like a lost puppy all day Saturday. Honestly, I had no idea where to go, so thank you for being so kind and leading the way. You were a lifesaver, and so much fun to hang with all day!

After meeting up with some of her cosplay friends, we went directly to Iain’s autograph line. We were about 15th? in line, so we didn’t have to wait that long, but let me tell you. Once Iain came out and sat down, the f-bombs were flying amongst our group bc we were losing our shit. After about a minute of everyone having a little excited panic, we calmed ourselves (as much as possible) and waited for our autographs.

ngl - I was a little nervous bc I wasn’t sure if they would let us give them gifts. But Stephanie went first and asked, finding out it was completely fine, so I let out a huge sigh of relief. And this is the part of the story where I introduce a kind stranger (I should call him an angel, bc he truly was amazing) as he would literally make my day. So this man is in line behind me and he overheard me saying I was happy I would be able to give the book to Iain, so he was cheering me on and said he was happy for me. (a note so this makes more sense - two people can be at the table at a time - one to get their autograph and the next person to wait their turn). I’ll get back to this man in a bit.

Once I got up to the booth, Iain greeted me and was just. so. nice. I first showed him these monkey stickers I had (I put one in his book) and asked if he wanted one, which he responded with a resounding yes. He couldn’t figure out which one he wanted, so he asked me to pick it out, and then he put it on his shirt. After that, I showed him the book and explained the whole thing, and he looked so shocked and thought it was amazing. I explained that some messages were to both him and Elizabeth, but I made a book for her so they didn’t have to share. But he said it was fine bc he would just cross out Elizabeth’s name. :) I then told him I put my own message on the last page of the book, so he said “Oh, that’s so great! I’ll read that one first. Right now. Out loud. In front of everyone.” Yeah, I nearly lost it.

While I was showing him the book, Elizabeth came out! She was running a little late, so she ran over to Iain’s table and gave Iain a big hug, and then marveled over all the Jemma cosplay from our group. Iain then showed her the book and stickers, so she took one of the stickers and started looking through the book. I told her I had one for her, and she got all excited but told me to give it to her when I got to her table to not spoil it :)

And then the most amazing thing happened. Remember that kind man behind me in line? Well, while Iain was signing a photo for me, the man was next to me at the table waiting his turn, and he leaned in to Iain and said “You should give her a hug.” Iain said “oh yeah, of course!” and he FUCKING LEANED OVER THE TABLE TO PULL ME INTO A HUG. I was the first person to hug him that day, so it was wonderful. I was surprisingly calm. But it was a lot.

And god bless @nanorii​ because SHE RECORDED THE ENTIRE THING. And in the video, while Iain is hugging me, the man next to me gives the camera the biggest thumbs up and it was perfect. Naturally, after the hug, the man leaned over to me and said “you’re welcome.” He found me afterwards once he got his own autograph and you bet your ass I gave this complete stranger the biggest hug I could muster. Okay, back to Iain. After he signed my photo, I shook his hand and he told me he hoped to see me again. Yep. It was fine. (but let’s not talk about how I almost walked off with the book and had to run back and give it to him. lol)

(Side note - I won’t be posting any photos or the video bc I’m in them and I would like to keep myself private for my own sanity. Please don’t ask for them. I really appreciate it.) 

Next, we went to the panel! Nothing really exciting happened beyond what was filmed for the livestream, so there isn’t really much to tell, but we had a lot of fun watching it live. I smiled throughout the entire thing.

After the panel, we went to Elizabeth’s autograph line. To preface this, I’d already met her at another con in October, so I wasn’t nearly as nervous. Once it was my turn, she got all excited bc she remembered me from Iain’s book. I told her that @eclecticmuses did the artwork for the front, and she started flipping though the book and was just stunned by all the messages. I told her they were from people on Tumblr, so she asked if I wanted to record a video, to which I obviously said yes. You can watch that video here! She’s a gem.

After that, she signed my photo, marveled over my rings (I was pretty stoked about this bit - they’re Monica Vinader rings if anyone is curious), and then we took a photo. When we were lining up for the photo, I showed her my shirt (which said Nevertheless, she persisted) and she loved it. I gave her a hug afterwards, and we said our goodbyes.

Onto the individual photo ops! This part is sort of a blur bc they happened so quickly. I probably spent at most 20 seconds with each of them. Iain was lovely and remembered me, and was overly nice through the whole thing. And thank god the photo turned out lovely as well. I honestly hate taking photos, so I was relieved it turned out great. And he smiled in mine. :) When I walked up for Elizabeth’s, she told me again how much she loved my shirt, and we took the photo, which also turned out lovely.

And that’s the end of day one!

But then, oh god, the next morning took a turn for the worst. I woke up with the most horrible stomach pain and thought I was going to be sick all morning. I don’t know what it was (something I ate, anxiety, who knows) but I felt awful, just lying in bed for a few hours that morning, and was scared my day was going to be ruined. Luckily, I slowly got ready and was able to make it to the convention without getting sick. I was a little unsteady on my feet, but I managed. 

Once I got there, I randomly found Karen, one of the girls from our group on Saturday, so we went together to the autograph lines bc I wanted to get some of Stephanie’s art signed. While we were in line, we ran into @shieldsil​ and @jsimmonss​! They were both soooooo lovely and we had a nice chat before getting our autographs.

When Karen and I got to Iain’s table, he was so sweet, saying welcome back. We chatted for a bit about our weekends, our flights home (he wondered why I had to leave so soon, and I said bc of grad school. He said oh shit - which is basically how I feel about the rest of this semester). He then told Karen he loved her cosplay (she was dressed as Rey and looked amazing) and we laughed a bit about how her rolling BB-8 was just from Target (he thought she had made it, lol).

After that, I asked about the book and he said he loved it so much and was looking forward to reading all the messages. I then showed him the video of Elizabeth with her book. His response? “Ah man, of course she would do that. She’s such an asshole, and a racist, just the worst. I’m gonna have to one-up her or something. I’ll record a video, maybe with her.” Not getting my hopes up on that, but we’ll see. Once he signed my photo, he came around the table to give me a hug, and let me tell you, this one was probably the best hug I’ve ever gotten in my life. I told him thank you for being so kind and he said “oh, no. You’ve been even kinder!” I died.

(and of course, after that hug, my stomach pain magically went away ¯\_(ツ)_/¯ the power of IDC, I guess.)

We then went to Elizabeth’s table, and she got excited bc I was getting the artwork signed that was in the front of the book. She thanked me again and said the book was really sweet. We chatted a bit about our time at the con and our plans for afterwards - it was pretty short and sweet, but I told her I would see her in a few hours at the duo photo op.

After that, I said goodbye to Karen, and then a few hours later made it to the photo op area for my team up photo, where I magically ran into @shieldsil again! We had a lovely chat waiting in line, and it was so nice getting to have one last meet up with a tumblr pal before my last experience at the con. I got my photo with both of them - they were amazing and sweet, obviously, and I said my last goodbye to Iain and Elizabeth :(. And then I was floored bc the photo turned out amazing. (again, I hate taking photos, so I was so happy). Both Silje and I had flights to catch, so we said a quick goodbye and I was off.

Annnnnnd that’s my entire C2E2 experience! If you read this whole thing, I applaud you. Thanks again to everyone that participated in the gift project! They genuinely loved seeing all the messages, and Iain specifically said he looked forward to reading them. And shoutout to everyone I met this weekend - you all were so kind and amazing, and you made my weekend even more enjoyable. <3

[reviewkpop]

UNLOCK by DAY6

tl;dr, I don’t remember where I was when this first came out because I was on a break from kpop social media but, however, I do remember where I was when I first listened to I Just (the only song to ever exist), as it was an extremely transformative experience for me. This is such a well-rounded, clear, diverse album that keeps Day6′s usual style while adding extra juicy elements for the more hard-rock inspired Japanese market. 

Vara’s rating: ✭✭✭✭✭ 

without further ado here’s why I love ever single song on this album, written like ive been imprisoned inside stan twitter for 5 years and can’t get out unless i review this album

Live Your Life: day6 japanese songs hit differently they really do. this one is an a1 prime rib example. the rolling drum (?) woosh sound right before the chorus is so sos os nice and all of the parts of this song are different feeling but still fit together completely seamlessly as expected. LISTEN, HOW THEY HAVE A GUITAR SOLO? WITH THE WOAHHHs at EVERY chorus. jae’s guitar is the backbone of this album and our society as you will read about further on if you ever get to my review of i just…….. and this song is NO different. also the lyrics are so pure. thank u kings of confidence. i gotta also talk about the outro to this song its so fucking beautiful. all the voices singing together is such a chef kiss mwah

Breaking Down: ive seen a lot of ppl (more than i expected?) cite this song as their fave day6 song and i mean valid. its day6’s harder rock side.. its reminds me a lot of how can i say and its very very good if thats your thing. also everytime mr k does the IM BREAKING DOWWN live its . very lovely thank you. its so so angsty i can feel the angst for miles with this one. when jae says “hearts never break the same” mkmfdnjgajk. yeah. this is one of the songs where u think its over but it ISNT!!!!!!! the guitar muting in the bridge fake outro whatever is so delicious i am a sucker for a good guitar muting rhythm technique can someone pls tell me what thats called im illiterate anyways it STARTS UP AGAIN the hecking guitar solo….. ladies and gentlemen…..

Stop the Rain: instrumental wise, this is a really really fun song… the scale up and down or whatever it is with synth + guitar in the verses and at the end of the chorus… very spicy indeed. i honestly think wonpil is the star of the show in this one bc its a really not aggressive but beat heavy?? song and wonpils softer voice really contrasts it nicely i think. i also love love LOVe the second verse with the minimal instrumental (of course i do) and then it goes into guitar solo mode.. i feel liek this album more than any other day6 album goes the hardest with the guitar solos thank you jae. also this song has wooaahs. guitar solo ✅, instrumental space ✅, woaaaahs ✅ but theres no guitar muting we’re almost there..

Say Hello: this song makes me smile. the punchy guitars, bubbly drums, wait actually the first time wonpil says “my girl” i teared up a little ouch…….. :((((((((((((((( so cute…. the bright lil woo ooooh ooohs in the chorus SO cute… its such a dreamy song and the lyrics are so nostalgic feeling its such a sweet song in general its abt like letting go but finding peace with it and wishing the other person well and its a really beautiful meaning. omg its like the opposite to hi hello njsdfdnkj theory?????

Everybody Rock: we are now in the ROCK zone everybody now . now COME ON keep it going now !!!!!!! 1 2 3 go!!!!! i absolutely adore the way the guitars fade out in the verses when the vocal lines start and its just a lil bass a lil drum. if theres one thing i love more than guitar muting its silence in music.. it really really makes songs great when theres some space left over i truly believe that. anyways this song has both thank u kings. jae’s prechorus with differnet members joining in is so nice as it gradually builds up more and more. extra important detail all the lives i can find of this they look like theyre having so much fun. also dowoon….. i truly believe i can be a rockstar bc of him. im in tears. the ending just lets it all sink in the extra 8 bars or whatever of extra instrumental very very nice addition thank you

I Just: i am truly sorry in advance for this im not gonna stop talking. musically,, this song is pretty simple (except for the guitar in the chorus, i’ll get there) but tonally, vibe-wise, on the feel good scale, this song is a 35 million absolutely fucking fantastic song. i love this song perhaps a little too much. i would like to speak briefly on jae’s guitar fill. if i could name my firstborn child after a sound byte it would be that one and you all know it very well. if i ever meet jae im gonna personally thank him for this and ask if i can get his guitar’s autograph. the fact the guitar gets louder in the last chorus with the vocals overtop of it too yum.. this song makes me miss a lover i nevr had or something but also feel like im falling in love and rolling down a grassy hill and staring into a sunset at the same time its like every single possible positive emotion for me. THE HEYYYY AHHHS . make me so inexplicably happy i love them with all my heart. ALSO you know how i said i love silence this song has it too!!!!!!!! with the faded guitar right before the last instrumental break !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! also again not to be a young k stan but u know i need to plug the 18125 i just nagoya young k fancam its in my genetics i will not apologize. he looks so happy i love . i listen to this song on a daily basis and you cannot stop me from doing so. if i get cloned and u have to figure out which charlie is the real one see which ones heartbeat starts getting faster by hearing the guitar riff then youll know.

Nobody Knows: the beginning of this song is the true modern mona lisa. i could listen to the guitar and drum before any vocals hit forever i am not gonna lie. this really reminds me of old 5sos in a way and i really like it.. gives me a lot of nostalgia from being a 14 year old (no i’m not a 5sos stan but listen to their new album it’s really good). absolutely very fun but probably also really sad if the lyric “please i dont wanna cry” says anything … yep ok. i forgot how much i love the bridge of the song listening to it now its really different to the rest of it its so so nice. very very good. i dont listen to this one as much as some from the album but i still love it a lot,, theres something about it thats a little haunting in a good way its like that buzzfeed unsolved episode where the ghost named apple tater visits them.

Falling: this song gets you because you think its gonna be a full soft ballad but it still has a rock heavy influence! this album is a LOT of more hard or classic sounding rock and i really like the direction they took it in! can i please talk about the bass riff RIGHT before the end of the verse its those little extra bits that are added in that make a song so much better and thats prime example. I’m not the biggest fan of the chorus of this song for some reason i feel like theres a little bit of something missing but the haunting synth that kicks in and gets more prominent all the way through the song is very very nice and adds to the whole acoustic rock (somehow??? they have the Range) vibe.

If ~また逢えたら～: this song was their debut japanese song and she has a very special place in my heart. it reminds me of a very specific time in my life. also its a fun one bc i always try to guess whether its the instrumental or the original version when it comes on shuffle (i have both saved lol). i love love LOVe the guitar at the between vocal lines in the chorus its so fucking juicy… you know what else we have is rapper k which as u know i go crazy over.. the instrumental version is young ks rap karaoke version. very very good. i think this passage from my old review of this (if you know, you know) sums it up ladies: and i honestly think youngks rap part just brings the song back to day6′s style!! like i dont think many other bands would have brought it down to that u know??? and i love it…. the instrumental in this is also so crunch !! its so aggressive but like the type of aggressive that snowstorms are on a weekday… bc they basically just showed up without warning, rendered us immobile,, but all in all we’re PUMPED that it happened.

Baby, it’s okay: this song is not my favourite song of day6’s, i think it’s lacking in some oomph for my ears, HOWEVER !! and this is a big however I really love the bridge and the lyrics and that makes up for it. also the “i want you to be happy” and “ill always be here for you” is so adorable truly.

anyways we all know this day6 has no bad songs, unlock is no exception.

- vara