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awrkive · 2 days

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r we getting tlp3 anytime soon 😖😖😖

anon asked: Could you please give us a little tiny spoiler about tlp pt.3?🥹🫶🏻

hi first anon! no i dont think i can give u guys a date yet. im actually currently joining an architectural competition at uni so thats keeping me a bit busier than usual, but i am writing tlp 3 during my breaks so ... thats that. ANYWHO. i will make sure to update u guys when its ready to be out!

anyways, to second anon. a tiny spoiler under the cut proceed if u wanna.. 🤓

You’re pretty much drained the moment you arrive at your place.

Sighing heavily, you punch in the passcode and almost feel your knees buckling at the sight of the interior of your apartment when the door opens.

It feels like it’s been so long since you’ve been here, and coupled with the discussion that you had with Doyeon two days ago, everything suddenly feels overstimulating and there’s a certain burn at the sides of your eyes that urges you to cry.

Swallowing the lump in your throat, you breathe in and out as you enter the threshold, noting the fact that anybody is not home. Or Jungkook isn’t present anywhere in the living room. You’re a bit grateful for that if you have to be honest to yourself – after all, the last time that you talked to him, it did not exactly go as well as you’d like.

He could be in his room, though. That’s what you assume as you go straight over to the kitchen in hopes to heat up the take-out that you bought at the driveway. But the to-go container from Chipotle at the island catches your attention, as well as the laptop that is left open beside it.

So Jungkook is home.

The question is, where could he possibly be, leaving out his stuff here in the kitchen? Might be in his bedroom to grab something real quick?

You don’t mean to do the next thing that comes to your mind, but your feet – your stupid feet – track back from the microwave to the island, and your eyes betray you as they go look and read the words on Jungkook’s macbook.

The tab that's left open shows an apartment listing website, and the following tabs beside it are some familiar real-estate names you’ve come to visit on the internet before when you were looking for a place yourself.

It makes you freeze in your spot, eyes glued to the daunting images of the apartment layout that Jungkook must’ve clicked on awhile ago, and you take note that he’s seemingly, specifically, looking for one-bedroom and studio apartments.

Your mind goes into a sudden haywire at the sight.

What does this mean?

“Oh, hey,”

The embodied voice makes your head snap to its direction, and you see Jungkook standing in front of you in his sweats and shirt – his usual home clothes – with a charger in his hand.

“Jungkook.” You say, or more like, breathe out. There's a heavy feeling that sits in your heart when you look at his face – but most of all, it beats a little above normal.

But Jungkook looks just as surprised as you.

“I… I didn’t know you’re coming ho– back.” He says, and you feel a sudden twinge inside that you ignore when you caught him pointedly avoiding the word home when pertaining to your place. Somehow, it felt intentional.

But you give him a smile. Probably a weak one. Probably doesn’t really look like a smile at all and more like a grimace.

If Jungkook notices, he doesn’t say anything. Just goes straight to the direction of the high chairs on the island and plug in his charger on his laptop.

Then, he turns to look at you. “Uh.. you just got off from your shift?”

“Uhm, yeah. You too?” You say, nibbling your bottom lip with your teeth. A nervous habit.

“Nah, got off a few hours ago.”

“Oh. Okay.”

“Yeah.”

You nod your head. You stand there for a while, letting the silence that’s admittedly awkward hang in the air.

It’s weird, really. Jungkook and you usually have a lot to say to each other – but right now, there doesn’t seem to be a single thing that you can bring up.

There's a certain kind of melancholy in the case.

“Well, uhm. That’s Zillow.” You say, pointing to his laptop. The moment the words left your lips you swear you could have slapped yourself.

How stupid to ask him about it. How incredibly stupid for that thing to be your choice of topic after weeks of no proper communication with him.

Jungkook seems just as taken aback by this, though, turning his head immediately to look at his laptop. There’s a slight jerk in his movements when he glides his fingers across the trackpad that closes the entire window of the internet and shows his PC wallpaper instead.

“Oh. Yeah. That was… Zillow.”

Stupid, stupid you makes everything even more awkward when you say, “You’re looking for a place?”

Jungkook stares at you for awhile. There’s a pregnant pause, and then he nods his head. A bit hesitant. But his voice is full when he speaks.

“Yeah.”

So he’s moving out. That’s what you think as you avoid looking at his face, letting your gaze fall back on his laptop.

You give him a small smile.

“Ah. Good luck with the search, then.”

Your hope you hide the way your heart completely breaks when you say the words.

#im apologizing in advance 🤓🤓#also this is unedited #fic: tlp

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animentality · 2 months

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I know it's a fact of life and all, but it does give me the heebie jeebies, knowing there's someone out there whose job is to masturbate male pigs so they can ship off semen to artificially inseminate sows.

Like I get it... it's just...like...business, circle of life, this is how the meat industry is efficient in how it breeds livestock, but...

I'm trying to imagine someone whose job it is to masturbate a caged pig, and it's like...

Hm.

I hope they pay them...something good.

Also I wonder if like...female pigs ever feel super weird about being artificially inseminated.

Like they know it's not natural.

I assume.

And then I think, well, what about the male pigs?

They probably know it's not natural either, being jerked off in a cage by some human.

What is going through their heads during all this...

#hm #anyway #you shouldnt reblog this not bc i care if you do or do not #but because whatever followers you have might want to strangle you for reblogging this #not sure why i was thinking about this #oh right #because i read an omegaverse fanfic about being milked for semen and then i was like doesnt that happen in real life #and now ive fallen into the rabbithole of animal husbandry #when you think about it its a really weird concept like morally #my mom forced her dog kelly to get bred by one of those stud dogs right and she said she felt so bad #cuz the poor dog looked right at her when he entered #and she looked horrified that her mother was standing there not doing anything i guess #and its like oh wow #that feels #wrongf #like i know they dont have the complex emotions of humans but #i dont know that kind of feels wrong for some reason #poor dog didnt know what was happening or what was coming #also they had to really pull the dog off because he didnt want to stop #also the command was like #take #which feels #uber creepy #but you know #fact of life i guess #you dont think about this shit if youre desperately trying to get a corgi i guess?#i wouldnt relate though #i only rescue dogs #i hate purebred bullshit #ill take mutts and accidental pregnancies all day every day

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moeblob · 6 months

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Deacon loves two things: Ymber and digging himself a grave.

Fulj hates one thing: Deacon.

#my characters #waiting on some info on the next commission so i indulged in ocs today bc i doubt i will have as much time for lil comics for a bit #deacon is so devoted hes like yeah i would kill for a deity that could easily kill anything himself but yknow teehee #and fulj just did you tell him you needed therapy also does he even know youd murder in his name #deacon caught red handed haha no of course i havent told him it should be obvious enough haha.... and its in his defense not his name :c #man really does have some issues but i love him so much and hes so devoted but like. unhealthily after a while #he does in fact need a chill pill and therapy but to be fair #ymber has needed therapy for centuries and yet he just bottles it all up and suffers so #its pretty unhealthy until they yell at each other one (1) time bc they are so insecure about things and get mad over very valid reasons #but then theyre like you know what that was necessary and i still want to stay by your side if you let me #and then fulj is like dude hey sorry you seem really happy did you fu- and ymber is like no please stop there we have not #fulj just squinting cause have not is very different than will not but whatever she doesnt wanna think about that with deacon involved ew #and eventually fulj is like hey ymber im sorry to say but i really do hate deacon and i dont even know why but he makes me uncomfortable #while deacon is just. in the room. hearing this and thinking how he knows she thinks hes weird but wow that wording hurts #and ymber doesnt wanna fill in memories better forgotten by fulj which she had forcefully removed #so he just says oh well his hair and clothing are black and you had someone in the past that you might see in him and its not a pleasant en #so you know maybe its that idk #and fulj is then WHATST i was rude to him for someone i cant even remember? lame im gonna try SO HARD to be nice to him now #and deacon just still sitting there with some food like this is v awkward and i wish i could not be here for it #and later he asks ymber about who he resembled and as ymber is descibing her it clicks in deacons head and he gets really sad #that he might somehow remind fulj of the woman she loved before she was punished for loving a mortal #and he feels kinda bad pestering her so much with his curiosities about deities and he kinda gets it #the fact hes close to ymber might remind her at the core that she was once that close with a mortal if not closer #anyway story time in the tags again #im so obsessed with these peeps and i have made them suffer so much but they do all end on a happy note #its still funny and nice to me that while fulj is creeped out by deacon and doesnt like talking to him #he still expresses the most emotions to her - he tries hard to remain serious around ymber and collected and obedient at all times #and when out and about with ymber he has to be intimidating and refuses smiling but fulj?? all sunshine and smiles and emotions easy to rea #and she is just that is so weird go away i hate you

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liquidstar · 6 months

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a friend who'd wait :)

#im posting this very late because i was sort of weary of how it came out and ended up messing w it until it was like 4am oops.#and i have plans tmrw so... oh well! i did my best and ill put it out while i can!#and i tried to make the scene match barnard's colors lol #finn's ocs #finn's art #i know i said id do more sillay stuff with the simpler screentone only style but i had a couple more of these in me #and this is the first piece im making thats like an actual part of the story too rather than just setting stuff for fun #i wanna write something to go with it too but for now ill just sort of briefly explain the context in the tags here:#barnard has a pretty bad case of OCD and his compulsions have made it difficult to make friends in the past #he was never outright bullied or anything but people just didnt really have the patience to deal with it #he has compulsions that include stuff like walking through doors until it feels right and needing things to be perfectly aligned #which in group settings has lead to people having to wait for him to finish his rituals and join them #they might find it tolerable at first but eventually they grow impatient and hes just... not invited to stuff anymore #but juno is a newer member of the guild who ends up frequenting the same library. hes also kinda a little weird #and they dont become fast friends or anything but just sort of naturally spend time in the same place #though they never plan meetups they eventually fall into a routine. around the same time theyd just both be at the library #and read next to each other. and maybe talk a bit. and eventually they end up walking back to the guildhall together #since theyre going to the same place after all. and juno always waits for barnard outside the door #eventually barnard asks if this bothers him. juno kinda just tells him 'of course it does' without any malice or anything. just a statement #barnard is surprised and apologizes and juno says not to. but the next day juno doesnt show up at the usual time.#barnard assumes hes committed somekinda more by bringing it up. he ends up staying there late reading to get his mind off it & not ruminate #but when he leaves juno is in fact still waiting for him down the hall (see pic) having collected a bunch of books literally abt ocd #he fell asleep bc barnard stayed later than expected. and hes an eepy guy generally. and also one very bad at expressing himself #but now barnard gets that juno's 'of course it [bothers me]' had the implication of 'but its worth it' which no friend has previously done.#and from the interaction juno was also able to understand that this isn't something barnard just does for the hell of it so. he studies.#and checks a bunch of stuff out because he thinks it could help his friend too (theres ocd workbooks and such- i remember working w them)#and thats the point where they became more ''friends'' than ''pleasant library acquaintances''#from there on they also do get into juno's problems. whole other bag of worms. but this specific scene is more about bernard from his pov #sorry about when i said briefly explain. i lied </3 #but compared to the whole sequence im picturing its brief so shhh

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simplydnp · 7 months

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I get the sense that Phil just likes to make “”weird”” stuff and has somewhat dialed back his weirdness due to his popularity and age. But I would love to see what an unfiltered 30 year old phil Lester video would look like. What stories does he want to tell? How does he want to tell those stories?

honestly i think phil is really good at playing out whatever his brain is thinking at the time. i think a lot of people struggle with ideas because they'll be seen as too 'weird' or 'strange' or even 'impossible', and what's neat about phil is he either doesn't have those boxes, or he's able to push through them in pursuit of creating the thing to its full potential. people describe him as creative, which he is, but i think it leaves out some of his best attributes as a creator. he's inventive--remember the countless trends and challenges that came from him that have swept the internet? he's fearless--and this doesnt mean that he's not afraid of anything (for phil its probably the opposite actually) but he does things despite the fear, regardless of the unknown. he's a relentless and passionate creator who likes to make things and values seeing them through to the end. but he's not naive either--he and dan have talked about each other being their harshest critics. it's not just that he's an ideas guy, he's a good ideas guy who knows how to make something flourish.

i don't think current phil is sitting in a box waiting for his chance to break free of his popularity. he could've stopped years ago, similar to dan, if he didn't want this. but he likes doing it. he gets to have his choice on which of his ideas turn into projects, without having the stress of Needing a brilliant idea and execution every week. right now i think a lot of his energy is focused on the gaming channel. as he's expressed to us a few times, it was him who really wanted it back, and he's been ready for a long time. dan's even admitted that he's been enjoying it, and i think a lot of that comes down to phil's creative directing. he loves the gaming channel and is so thrilled it's back--his own content has taken a step back in terms of upload regularity, and i genuinely don't think he could be happier about it.

i would love a big phil project, but i honestly don't see him doing a tour of his own unless he brings dan with him, and then why not have it be something they can do together? does that make sense? that seems to be his thought process about things. it's why i've suggested taskmaster cause it's a local thing that wouldn't keep him from home for a long while, but he does get to flex his creativity, intelligence, and humour.

i'm looking forward to anything phil does. his current project seems to be making dan happy and they're both having a lot of fun doing that

#i dont know if i answered your question anon. i think in some ways people play up the 'weird' side to phil bc he plays into it #as well as his past history of old school videos #firstly let me say i love when he's 'weird'#but i think the way i categorize it is less about a line between weird and not weird. and more of like a spectrum of zany #dnp are not mainstream guys. theyre self proclaimed nerds with pride. anything they make is gonna seem a little off Broadway #but it doesnt always feel that way for us #people inside the community #saying he's lost his weirdness/he's putting on a front is a bit. off. for me. especially considering its been 14 years #for most of his 'experimental' content. he's said it himself he was experimenting. i think he learned a lot and had fun #but i dont think its his personality and hes been trapped into this different persona ever since #anyway. i am yapping just like a dannie would so. thank u for your ask!#dnp #c.text #dan and phil #answered

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bunnihearted · 3 months

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🦈2

#even tho it was so hard for me. ofc when u can only communicate via the internet so much is lost i think... sm extra things u need to be #more secure kinda? like physical presence does a lot on its own #but yeah.. ok i actually wrote more but u can only have 30tags per post and safari on ur phone does not tell u when it's stopping so half o #what i wrote just disappeared ._. i cant rmbr what i said... and i mean this is just for myself to vent but grr im so annoyed #yeah just that he was sm more patient than i realized. i just was in the start of learning how to live w my avpd #i wasnt able to do a lot. even if i wanted to. he helped me sm to uncover things in myself to start that thing within me #i just desperately wish i had found him earlier and that i've been this far along in my anti avpd limitation abilities.... truly wish that #so im trying to accept it and just think bc i dont have a choice :') i've never wanted anyone like this and that just is how it is #i will always love him simply bc he is who he is #he's so so cool and amazing to me in so so many ways. and i always loved just how he talks and communicates bc it resonates w me #and there are simply sm details i just adore. but yeah... i probably shouldnt think abt that? i feel like.. it isnt my place to think abt i #but it is what it is but it hurts so incredibly much. will i ever be able to let go of him? the love i couldve experienced? the wonderful #person i couldve been with? will i be able to stop thinking abt all his great qualities and how much i wish he was mine? and all the things #wanna do and talk abt with him? he's just.. he just is .. i cant describe it. it feels like more than just earthly love...#maybe i sound insane or too intense or dramatic or smth but.. it feels so much larger than everything #so i struggle sm with letting go bc i want to touch him and i want to love him and i just want to be with him and experience everything w h #but that isnt my place. i know... why.. have i only ever felt like this w him... what do i do with this?? am i crazy? am i going insane? is #there smth wrong with me?#he is worthy of everything and he is so so wonderful but is there smth wrong w me for being so..#for having love that actually truly is all consuming? what is this... it's scary. esp when i cant unleash it. it's like a wild beast i have #to learn how to tame. and i want to be able to find mutual love too. but i cant force anything. will the universe grant me that?#i cant imagine myself ever being able of letting go of him but if that is what the universe has planned then..#ok im actually starting to sound intense and weird and idk O.O i think i think too much #.. it hurts that i wont get to do all of the things and talk abt all the things i wanna do w him. i'll never get to hug him...#if i could ask for only one thing it'd be one hug from him....#maybe is ound crazy but with all my disorders and feeling disconnected from the world.. and finding someone that makes me feel tethered #and safe and real.. and having to let go bc it just wasnt meant for me... why is the universe so cruel.#in the end i care abt him so much i just want him to be loved. i want him to finally feel loved.#someone else.. someone else without avpd can do that for him. i want him to be oh so so loved and .. yeah.. :(#i wish i couldve loved him as he deserves but .. its not my place. not my place... all i want is to hear his voice and live in his arms

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wolfisland · 8 months

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honestly one of my least favourite things about online spaces centered around cluster b personality disorders is that they almost treat the disorders as an in joke. like its never quite anti recovery rhetoric but a lot of the times it feels like it becomes this thing where something harmful gets spurred on as a personality trait to nurture rather than a symptom to keep an eye on. freaks me the fuck out.

it could be because growing up i was pretty familiar with cluster b spaces and i lost a couple of friendships due to it becoming this whole "i have this disorder now i have to knowingly indulge the more harmful and dangerous symptoms im supposed to be treating to really prove i have this disorder!" thing.

like babes i still believe youre borderline, you dont need to go full tilt maintaining a numbered and ranked list of the people most important to you and assigning a fp role to someone who frankly is not responsible for your stability.

#i lost a friend yeeeeaaaars ago like almost 10 years ago now #who discovered npd and started using it as a justification for treating us like shit and seeing us as lesser #which was so fucking crazy to me as someone whos pretty fucking certain they have npd #bc if anything its made me a hell of a lot more aware of how i treat people around me #because like theres a lot worse things i can be than arrogant and self obsessed. but i dont wanna be arrogant and self obsessed AND cruel #like i fell victim to the borderline personality trait shit as a kid hardcore #and didnt realise i was probably comorbid npd til literally last year so i dodged that #but literally the reason i didnt realise it was probably also npd is because of how people dehumanize people w npd #like most of my exposure to npd in my own life has been absolute fucking menaces #but so has bpd. the people with bpd who have remained part of my life have always been people w bpd who keep an eye on their behaviour #bc no personality disorder makes you evil but not monitoring your symptoms does almost always make you irresponsible #like its very weird seeing people in my life react wildly differently to the discovery or diagnosis #like i just have 0 energy for people who get a diagnosis and just use it to excuse their treatment of others #and this comes from someone who was The borderline menace at age 16 #i think realising i probably have npd has made me a lot more aware of my own ego among other things #and ive had enough therapy for bpd to feel comfortable navigating most of the npd stuff rn without an official dx yet #bc id say ive already been trying to curb certain behaviour for years now without realising it could be linked to smth in particular #its just a new explanation. but i dont think its an excuse #i hope that ex friend is dealing with his shit better now. i still think hes a dick but he was a struggling teenager so all i can do is like #hope hes grown up and doing better mentally and has better friends. bc god knows our friend group was pretty unhealthy #txt

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nihiltism · 1 year

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ok so while my ds is getting sand poured into it at alarming rates I'm thinking about how jrpgs in specific have a really weird desync with How Important Death Is. like some address it better than others but it very frequently happens where if you take a step back youll go "am I wild or is everybody just like, Really down with murder in this game". and consequences for said murder, especially in a characterization sense but even just actual physical consequences, don't really happen? unless it's a vehicle for conflict but like. when it is a vehicle for conflict it feels weird because why are These Guys actually taking the fact we killed somebody in broad daylight seriously and coming after us for it while all the other npcs and even the main party took it like it was another saturday evening

see I Think where the issue lies is in the fact that everything is in its own little world when you're in a battle? like. when you fight an enemy and you get leather out of it it's seen as something the enemy Drops and not. their hide. when you defeat a character in a battle it does just feel like you Defeated them. unless there's dialogue afterwards that says otherwise you don't even mentally assume you killed em you just wounded them enough to make them flee or dissolve or whatever. and it's Weird to just. have that assumption there because for a lot of games it really isn't clear if you're killing them or defeating them !!

that last point is extra important when you have the specific brand of Skittish Hero / Noble Hero Who Doesn't Kill People / Rational Hero In Way Over Their Head or whatever where you really don't think they Would kill a guy just to get them out of the way. in that case it's REALLY weird because it's hardly brought up. even if it Is brought up that that guy Sure Did Die the mc doesn't tend to actually have a reaction ??? and I don't know why this is ???? like Any written reaction would be more interesting than nothing even if the guy doesn't have a full on crisis about taking another life having them go "oh shit, The Consequences" would be nice. really anything except (oh cool we can advance the plot now).

I will also mention that Some deaths do matter plot wise but very frequently what makes them matter is how much of it is linked to an in game battle I think. if your mc just finishes a fight and comes back to the overworld and the guy's Disappeared or Dissolved or whatever it means they don't matter. if the guy's still around after the fight it means it's more significant, especially if they're still alive but wounded or Really Shaken Up. because this clears up the indistinguishable line between if a battle is lethal or not and if a character decides to deal a finishing blow now it's Way more telling of their character. even though this is basically the same thing that happened in the (killed In A Battle) scenario. just with more dialogue. I will also mention that the person who deals the finishing blow is Rarely Ever that good hearted protagonist and often they'll even go :0 at somebody else committing a murder despite them instigating and helping murder quite a few people. just. In Battle. so it's less bad. I guess.

this is leaving out the fact that in party deaths are often a Major Major Blow because like. ok that's fair. that's A Guy You Knew that's understandable. anyway I don't really know where I'm going with this I just think it's interesting how in these types of games death can swap from not mattering at all to mattering a Lot and if u don't think about it too hard u don't even question it. I'll probably be putting some examples in the tags idk

#i will note that in this specific instance most of my party Is actually super down with murder like vocally #so its less weird but it Is weird that the mc does. Not Seem The Type.#i mean not to say he should have tried to spare everybody i think its kinda neat that he doesnt but #if the fact that he doesnt was brought up at all thatd be interesting. have him acknowledge he killed a dude #but no hes just kind of standing there like (ok what next) no leaning one way or another #these would all be interesting reactions if they were actually Brought Up in dialogue but no its just. oversight #anyway this is about sand but ive also felt this about live a live and even bits of twewy #like specifically in lal the fact that the edo chapter Exists and killing people is just Battling Them made me look at Every Other Chapter #thru a lens of (okay am. am i killing these dudes.) and the answer is I DUNNO #like the guy exploded into a cloud of mist theres no way hes Not dead but its STRANGE #this felt most noticeable in the imperial china and present day chapters because they had mcs who decidedly did not feel down with murder #specifically present day because masaru is fighting this guy for the crime of killing a guys. and woa. he killed a guys. with his Hands #i think theres only a handful of deaths in lal that actually mean anything and you can tell which they are because they dont explode #like in You Know The Part with The Character I Cant Say that guys i think the only time defeating an enemy Leaves A Corpse #ok actually thats a lie the Other Guy I Cant Say in The Chapter Before That also died like that and that was equally important #s also worth mentioning that said first guy can ? also die without leaving a corpse? just turn to ash??#depending on where u go with him. which is weird right. thats weird right.#maybe that just means (hey youre not supposed to feel bad about him dying this tiiiime)#anyway its 5 am ill post this in the morning #vee shut up

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f1owermoon · 2 days

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sorry i just. need to rant for a second

#cause dude the whole joost situation is SO fucking upsetting #he's mentioned over and over again how overwhelming this whole overnight success thing has been for him and to respect his boundaries #and instead of yk respecting his wishes “fans” go and make things worse by constantly overstepping and being creepy and weird like hello???#like why can't we all just be normal and take a step back and enjoy things #these people are gonna end up driving him off the internet and i wouldn't blame him one bit #and the worst part is the people who should get the memo obviously don't (or refuse to) bc this isn't an isolated instance #like its been going on for a while now #idk man i just think about how hard it must be for him rn #one of the things that turned me into a joost fan (besides his music) was his personality #like i obviously dont know him on a personal basis #but from the little bits ive seen he comes across as a really genuine and sweet and kind dude #super thoughtful as well. like i just love the way he thinks and his take on things #like i remember watching his eurovision interviews and just thinking oh man this dude's a ray of sunshine LMFAO #also the literal definition of resilience like dude's been through so much stuff and hes always managed to come out on top despite of it #and thats something i really admire about him too. like the way he put it as not letting your traumas be just that #but also something that can drive you forward #but yeah dude's had more than enough like he deserves to be happy and have some peace and ppl keep ruining it for him and it makes me upset #like i actually slept like shit last night and woke up feeling terrible and i wonder if what went down yesterday w the whole live thing #has anything to do with it lmfao #and you may be like ok well youre taking it too personally and letting it affect you #and yeah maybe youre right LOL but i cant help it i care about the guy and i want him to be okay #he seems to have a really good support system though so i hope things blow over soon and he can finally have some peace #anyway. rant over! 💋#raquel speaks

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dandyshucks · 2 months

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trying to tell other ppl about OCs is so hard and embarrassing, like yeah here's my automaton guy that I've been calling Empty Mask, yeah I nearly cried over the thought of him collecting broken porcelain dolls the other day, yeah he sounds kind of stupid but he's actually kind of a tragic character if u get to know his story,,,,,,

#I JUST FEEL SO STUPID TRYING TO EXPLAIN CHARACTERS TO PPL 😭😭#they always think empty mask is a weird silly name and it IS weird and kind of stupid fjfkdl #but its like. the cracked exterior shell of an automata and he's missing stuff behind the face shell.... THERES MEANING TO IT 😭😭#also its technically a placeholder name until he figures one out for himself once he finds a proper identity for himself...#BUT THE SAME THING WITH WARDELL #''yeah this is my guy who turns into a dog. um. the fae cursed him sort of and now he works for them? but he doesn't want to.#and he's... yeah u know what lets talk abt smth else actually'' DHDJDKL BLEASE i wish i was better at it #actually i could be better at it but i dont want to put effort into telling ppl stories if they dont care #and i cant tell if they care or not so i just give them a half-hearted explanation to judge their interest #and then ofc bc i do such a bad job then they aren't rly interested fhfkdl #but i AM a good storyteller if i actually put effort and heart into it 😭 I've been told many times how engaging i am w storytelling irl #i just. get scared to put effort into it LMAO esp when these stories Mean smth to me #i can tell someone abt when i had to try to cross paths w a black bear easy peasy bc thats just a thing that happened #but it doesnt Mean anything to me beyond it just being somewhat interesting #my characters though .... aaougghhh #dandy.cmd #vent //

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horrorwebs · 1 year

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why are men literally the fucking worst

#theres a guy in one of my uni friend groups who has a crush on my friend also from the friend group #and she feels so so uncomfortable plus she hasnt done ANYTHING thatd give a hint that she likes him back. bc she doesnt #and now she doesnt feel ok around because hes so attached to her and so so needy and its like. well. way to fuck it up dude. fuck you #he has been acting so strange lately and not in a good way. strange awkward and needy and like. possesive.#her and i also have another friendgroup where frankly i feel much better with and she does too. and its like. well the guy is always like #butting in but now really being part of anything? like its not like he comes over to the grouo to be with all of us hes just sort of . there #talking only to her or sometimes me but its like not nice its weird and annoying #ALSO HES SO PATRONIZING TOWARDS HER ITS AWFUL #AND hes like. a bit older.... where its not like. the weirdest age gap i dont think so. but it IS a bit weird considering some of the things #he has said. like the other day he made a comment about how my friend 'well shes so young like people her age sometimes dont get [x]' like?#if you think she is SOOO young and SOOO out of touch with people your age well why the fuck are you asking others if you have a chance w her #get away from her really #sidenote: today she was telling me and a different friend about this problem and my other friend said it was really uncomfortable and bad +#that he used to think the guy had a thing for ME BEFORE??? and i dont know if he also thought -i- had a thing for him but please god no.#even the hypothetical made me feel super uncomfortable. also i used to feel like that a bit like he might like me and it was bad and gross #so i dropped a comment that let him believe i was a lesbian i think? also got much colder towards him . like. thats what you get fucker #about the lesbian thing i meant that he told me about a friend of his that had it hard coming out as a lesbian and i said like oh yeah being #like that was hard for me also. finding out i was not straight was tough etc .#dont remember if i said the word lesbian i dont think so but i did say i like girls and i didnt mention boys at all so i hoped itd be enough #also people dont really -get- what being asexuas means + didnt want to tell him im ace + techically i Can like boys bc romantic attraction #is undefined to me but i was definetely not going to tell him that bc 1. im much more prone to like a girl and 2. not trying to get his hope #up.#so anyway it was gross to realize other people saw it too so i mightve actually not been insane to think he had a crush on me but it was bad #and also. i really need for my friend to be comfortable in class so i might have to kill him who knows. well see #spikeposting #personal

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dreamsy990 · 10 months

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my thoughts on ddd basically boil down to "great game! kill the story with fire and sticks." which i think is about the coldest take ever. do not get me started on how nobodies having hearts is a dumbfuck plot twist i am so full of rage over that.