#the autism i literally look in a mirror and see a guy

[oysterie]

i do acknowledge i need to watch what i say wrt gender women men cis ppl etc just augh.

[leahnardo-da-veggie]

Character Poll tag!

Thanks @autism-purgatory and @the-letterbox-archives, this is absolutely awesome :)

Rules: Make a poll with five of your all time favourite characters and then tag five people to do the same. See which character is everyone's favourite!

I love all my OCs more than any other character :) Anyways, tagging @urnumber1star, @drchenquill, @paeliae-occasionally, @illarian-rambling and @thecoolerlucky

Propaganda for each of the little guys below:

Hash: He's a trickster shapeshifter, alright? It's a classic for a reason. He's 150cm worth of pure chaos. I mean, he literally named himself after Hash browns, outlived the rest of his species by dint of being kicked out for being too irritating, and insists on a fake accent.

Iraela: Evil. Pure evil. But very dramatic. She rules in an evil castle and is permanently two steps from belting out a musical number. She's constantly on the verge of a mental breakdown, complete with shattering mirrors, and ate her fiancé :)

Katherine: The ultimate little shit. She is unafraid to snark at her vampire teacher, then bully the Fae who served her a gelato. She's also protective of her apprentice, and not evil. (Which is saying something compared to the others on this list)

Dave: He is just such a vibe. Bro is a fairly ancient vampire, looks like he stepped off a romantasy novel and works 12h shifts at a cornerstore where he has to mop dead exorcist blood off the floor. He just wants to get through the day, but the world is very against that plan.

Luna: She's basically a high school mean girl who never grew up, if a high school mean girl could mind control people and ruled over a cult. Her one braincell is dedicated to fashion, and she basically blunders through the plot of her novel, doing the right things for absolutely the wrong reason.

[quadrantadvisor]

I always find the different ways that people characterize Dirk really interesting, but what I think is most fun is like. He literally never learned how to make facial expressions. Like it's the post-apocalypse and he has autism and he's watching all these videos of this one guy who has purposefully cultivated a deadpan affect. He sees his bro doing interviews and shit and he's like, "ah yes, I have to learn how to make exactly one(1) face" and he practices it in the mirror and that's it.

So his friends meet him irl and there's something slightly weird about how he talks, monotone, and yet each word feels somehow emphasized, because of course he practiced that, too. He recorded himself, trying to make absolutely certain that he was pronouncing everything correctly, because he cant ruin his image by fucking up something so simple as talking. So now he's speaking aloud to other human beings for the first time in his life, and he's talking about how fucking psyched he is to see everyone and he's being entirely genuine and his face just. Does not emote. Not like he's carefully controlling it but more like he wouldn't even know how.

He is weird and off-putting and other people don't know how to deal with him. Roxy gets used to him the fastest because she's got basically no frame of reference and is also weird as fuck from being in a post-apocalypse. And Jane and Jake aren't far behind because they aren't that shitty and also Dirk has always been a pretty weird guy and this is just a part of the authentic Di-Stri experience.

People who are used to Dave and his general m.o. of avoidance and repression have NO IDEA what to do with Dirk. You can't look for tells; there are none. Everything he does feels equally intimidating and performative. You generally have to take the things he says at face value except for when he gets to lost in some introspective shit and starts in on some complete bullshit, or when he's fucking with you. Strongly believe that Karkat cannot stand talking to this man. Rose adores him. Dave is the only one who doesn't seem particularly off-put by his behavior and is just glad that he practices emotional honestly. Compared to Bro, Dirk is an open fucking book. Sometimes it's hard to get him to stop talking about his feelings.

[chaifootsteps]

Hey so uh, student studying psychology, I agree.

Personal story that will end up relating to Viv, I promise. (Please do not take this as a diagnosis either, but I also noticed Viv and my ex share troubling personality traits)

Not APA, but I had an ex who I'm pretty sure has NPD (He is also autistic, and I am as well). We got along so well, probably because we were both autistic. It was a long-distance relationship we had for 4 years.

I had a very troubled childhood growing up, and hardly had any friends in school. I never went to hang out with anyone, I always came straight home. I was extremely isolated for those 4 years because my caregiver was extremely abusive to me. My ex was all I had.

For 4 years, he promised me I was the only one he ever wanted. He told me what I wanted to hear, and became a completely different person to disguise who he really was underneath. Ironically, he "works" as a filmmaker/actor. Sometimes I knew it felt off, he'd pressure me into doing things I was uncomfortable with (only a year and half age difference so he wasn't an older guy grooming me (but he was still absolutely grooming me. I was also a minor at this time.)

He'd also lovebomb the shit out of me, as well as using a term called "future faking", where the person promises you a grand future and that everything is going to be wonderful and amazing. It's a tactic, like lovebombing, to keep the victim hooked for as long as possible. He promised me we'd get a shitty apartment together, that he'd "take me away" from the abuse I was suffering from for so long.

He promised me a family. Children. Marriage. Everything and anything I needed to hear to keep me in his power.

For his "movies" he would go to conventions and find D list actors to be in his stuff and he would, in private, go off about how he's got these "amazing actors" from xyz movie. He'd also gloat about the expensive equipment he'd gain access to. Like Viv at GlitchX, he would never shut the fuck up about his projects and ideas. He was extremely self centered. He loved taking photos with them with smug looks on his face too. He also literally took a picture of himself kissing himself, with a mirror filter, and showed me in private. I brushed it off but always thought it was weird. I wish I was joking.

He would also lose his ever loving shit if you critiqued him. He would actually cry and throw childish tantrums. And not even his stuff, if you said ANYTHING negative about his interests, he would take it as a personal attack. Not even that, if you just gave a "meh" reaction to something he'd show you, he'd also get super passive aggressive and pissed.

I think part of that is the autism (I struggle with people not liking things I like too. I get bummed out and sometimes pissed, but never to the degree that he did.) but it was always uncomfortable for me. But I always championed his movies. I never once said a negative thing about them. Not in private or to him.

Fast forward to me finding out he cheated on me, and continued to cheat on me with 5+ people over the entire course of our relationship. I read horrific messages between him and those people, where he called me a "bitch" and would actively plan out "how to get me back" whenever I tried leaving him (because again, I had weird feeling about him but he always managed to pull me back in).

And I'm not going to lie, I was shitty towards him. I took my anger out on him from the abuse I suffered because he was the only person in my life.

I regret that to this day. I never should've yelled at him or treated him badly when he was (at least to me) genuinely trying to make me happy.

All he cared about was himself and getting his dick wet. He still tries to tell me (if he can get his messages through) that he always loved me, and he just made mistakes as a "stupid kid."

It took a long time to get away from him and see that he was extremely unhealthy. He also has very dangerous gross fetishes, that I even didn't know about when we dated.

So yeah... they both are very similar for sure. Paperskin egos, takes criticism as a direct attack, self-centered, collecting people, hiding their true personalities, using people to climb the ranks to meeting celebs and using them in their work, lovebombing their victims...

Again, this doesn't confirm either one has NPD, but Viv reminds me a lot of my ex. And it's not good at all.

And this is MY experience. In no way shape or form am I demonizing anyone else who has this disorder.

And if you've experienced these things from someone, I am so sorry. I hope you can get the help you need.

Thank you for your story, Anon. I'm so sorry that happened to you.

Not going to say anything, just going to leave this here so people can draw their own conclusions.

[ishifted-jdayz]

um. okay. hi. uh. i just shifted. just came back really. fuck dude. jesus christ.

okay um. so i shifted to my "wr" which is basically a ranch and i can do magic real easily and stuff and. it was so interesting coming to there. i was like. sitting up and everything was hazy at first and then i blinked the like. sleep out of my eyes and it was all so real.

there was sun coming through the curtains just how i imagined and the carpet felt right beneath my feet and it smelled like such fresh air, nice and cool. i ran my hands along the wall to really like. ensure i was there and i like. laughed incredulously and was like holy shit. bc i made it. oh my god dude i made it.

i ran outside to see if i was where i was fr and i was. i could see the ocean and the forest and the line of trees that blocks the train tracks. i could hear bugs and birds chirping and i was so. the warmth of the sun on my skin was crazy. i stayed out there for a while. i was in a white like. dress thing? like an undergarment from the 1800s. i was breathing easier i didnt have any allergies. i ran all the way to the beach to dip my toes in the water and fill my hands with sand.

when i got back i was like. so excited. i wasnt even hungry but i made myself be in order to eat in the kitchen. i made my favorite dish (im autism and have it all the time) and was just. beside myself as i watched it rotate in the microwave. i looked at all the cds i have and i turned on the tv. ive been watching criminal minds in old reality lately so i pulled up season 3 bc i hate that gideon left and i pulled up s3 in the one where gideon Didnt leave. and started watching that while i ate and looked around.

ive got a ton of plants next to my couch and i touched them all. the piano plays just like the one in my old reality, and i finally fucking found the sheet music i had forever ago and could never find. and i played it pretty easily and god man. it felt so fucking surreal. all my favorite books were on the shelves and i knew if i took one and pressed my hand against it and said "know" id know it all as if i just read it but i didnt really want to.

i looked in the bathroom and that was fucking cool as shit. the bathtub was so big and the windows were huge (no one comes here unless i want them to so its fine). i found a box of my jewelry including a ring i had to get resized in my old dr but it fit perfectly. the water was perfect and cool under my hands GUYS it was literally so cool.

and my cas room. its just how i imagined. so its like a old ass room from like the 1700s wood floor seems kinda dusty. but theres a mirror and i can enter sort of create a sim mode and change everything abt my self. first thing i did was get rid of my chest and MAN. FUCK. THE EUPHORIA. i started crying. had to take a whole couple minutes to come down from that. and then i started messing with my hair length and type and color and freckles and eye color and height and all this stuff and it was really cool. my ass is so fat now btw SLAY. and i just. looked at myself. and felt truly at home. like even though i look different now i feel more Me bc i Chose it. and anyway.

walked outside again bc i put on diff clothes in the CAS room and wanted to see my horse. its in a little pocket dimension sort of bc i dont want to constantly need to take care of them or have them around but when i want them around they are and i got to see herrrrrrr. shes also a beauty and i love her so much. and my cat pib was there and its just. guys its so fucking freeing. to know that everything i want is there.

went back inside and upstairs to the bedroom and man. i havent done much irt redecorating yet bc i wanted to do that myself but. i have a desk and a computer up there and immediately started up the sims 3 (my favorite game) and started playing and NO LAG. IS SO FUCKING EPIC GUYS. IM SO STOKED. and i played for a while and kept criminal minds on in the background until i got bored and then i went downstairs and ate and started watching. the secret season of black sails (my favorite show) and dudeeeeee that was crazy oh my god. ik why i cant see it in the my cr for meta reasons but now i SEEEEE now i understand........

and then i remembered my library and i ran over to that and dude it was so PRETTY. and i grabbed some music theory books and some language (letters and grammar) books and did the "know" thing and lets just say i know mandarin and japanese and french and gaelige and hebrew now. and im gonna do more when i get back but BRO its just so cool.

and i got a glass of fresh iced tea and went outside and watched the sun set on my porch and pib came up and my old dog bella (whos both old and not old now) and i started crying a little bit and then i went to sleep. and decided to come back here to update yall bc ik i can go back easy af now (bc i came back to a reality where i Can) so. anyway very fucking excited. so fucking happy. one billion out of ten.

[waters-and-the-wilde]

okay so one of the fun and neat things about going on T and shifting into boy mode is. i'm hot now??

it's not that i've changed that much or was dealing with negative self-image stuff, like i was already the prettiest boy you've ever seen before i got on T. back in girl(?) mode i dodged the worst of the usual body image issues due to a confluence of factors, such as

a.) enough early messaging to the effect of 'hey trying to make girls be attractive all the time is kinda fucked up' and me going 'yeah! that is fucked up! fuck being pretty'

b.) just. extraordinary amounts of asexuality. and with that came the primary incentive to go 'oh fuck i don't want to be attractive. dear god get that away from me. engage the Somebody Else's Problem Fields to maximum capacity!!'

c.) 'but also hey i've got great hair and look dashing in a waistcoat, i just do it for me you know? i'm like if a vain creature spent a lot of time scrabbling about in a tree hollow'

like i felt like i looked fine as a girl(?) and i didn't want to deal with the social baggage of being pretty (TM) or hot (TM) and clearly all that took so much effort anyway so it was super easy to just. not. although I liked wearing fancy costumes so in a lot of ways it's easier to look back on like. girl formalwear moments and be like 'oh yeah. that's drag. i was in drag.' without getting hit with the dysphoria stick. and the moments i felt really good about myself, like, 'flirt with myself in the mirror' moments were. boy drag. but i wasn't going to call myself hot. (also probably an autism thing, bc The Neurotypicals and the CisHetAlloNormies love to take the things you say literally and contort them to fit their assumptions so i couldn't risk them conflating 'hot' with 'sexually available'.) i was 'allowed' to be hot when i was dressed as jack harkness but under all other circumstances i didn't want that and wasn't willing to risk being thought of in those terms. never mind nipping it in the bud i was gonna salt the earth first.

which, maybe was a little overkill, i've got a bit of a tendency there but tbh i'm incredibly grateful for how much that kept the background society noise from getting the worst of its hooks into me. like the rampant asexuality and baby's first genderqueer shenanigans did me so many favors for maintaining a neutral-to-positive outlook on my relationship with my body. especially when it came to keeping prospective attention at bay so any time someone actually tried to ask me out it was just like. reaction gif of those girls with the red cups at the party. how did you get past security.

didn't hurt that i didn't want to hang in the kind of environments that made a big deal about appearances slash recognized it's rude to be a dick about peoples' appearances, but also there was probably a certain amount of baseline white/able-bodied/skinny privilege that i wasn't really aware of at the time, and lately i've been suspecting that contributes to other people trying to reinforce their idea of my place in 'the girl club'. something something same coin as those standards that also exclude and deny cis women for not measuring up.

recent years it's been weird because it sort of hasn't mattered how obvious i think the transmasc cues are, how much i look in the mirror and go '!!! hell yeah look at that handsome little guy!' because it just wouldn't translate. there was just a lot of 'yes fine i know i know i kNoW what people see when they look at me. it is still weird to me but i have to maKe Allowances for our soCiAL coNText riGht?? just because i got sick of being low-effort nonbinary and decided I wanted a turn at the blue hair and pronouns thing doesn't mean that other people aren't stuck in their assumptions. yes i know who i am but i have to wear a little sign and point it out to people and most of the time they don't notice or remember and if i'm lucky they'll wring their hands and get all conCerNed about having oFfEnded me instead of telling me they don't think they should have to make the effort of trying.' and don't get me wrong i love meeting cishetnormies who are cool and onboard and supportive or just baseline chill about it, but there are a lot of them where there's this definite undercurrent of knowing they're just humoring you and it itches like a shirt with the bad textures.

anyway it's not as if i didn't know i built in a bunch of defensiveness around knowing I was being perceived female and trying to control for the implications of that. (it's been a perennial topic of household conversation bc sibling and sibling-in-crime are a bit more settled into their own flavors of genderqueer especially in terms of dealing with other peoples' perceptions and i've still been grappling with a lot of 'i need to look GAY i need to look QUEER i need to look LIKE A BOY I need to look COMPLETELY UNAVAILABLE. do NOT perceive me. ENGAGE 'SOMEBODY ELSE'S PROBLEM FIELD' to MAXIMUM CAPACITY. i am JUST SOME GUY. FUCK i dress like a 12-YEAR-OLD and people think i'm in HIGH SCHOOL but they STILL DON'T THINK I'M A BOY' 'buddy hey do you think maybe you're overthinking the way people perceive you and trying to accommodate for that instead of being yourself' 'I KNOW BUT HEY'

i think starting to working in a much more public retail job kind of threw it into sharp relief because before I wasn't doing that on purpose, i just got so used my Whole Deal just sort of automatically flying under the radar. and suddenly every day i'm having to deal with other peoples' assumptions. and every day i'm still kicking and yowling and biting because all i'm getting is other people trying to shove me into a box. they see a girl-shaped person and it doesn't matter about the collared button-down shirt and what's usually a boy's name on the apron, lol what's a pronoun button, she's young and skinny and cute and white and that's what the quirky young ladies do these days because androgyny is trendy right??

(do not get me started on how women are not allowed to age and how trans guys get infantilized and how i keep getting clocked as much younger than i am, what does a guy have to do to get treated like a goddamn grown-up ah fuck i gotta show up with healthy boundaries and self-respect probably because i'm not about to stop dressing like a twelve year old because i am fighting for my life to retain my youthful whimsy on this godforsaken bitch of an earth)

and then. not much changes but I change. six weeks on T and i'm like ugh nothing's happening it's fine it's fine it's gonna be gradual it's gonna take its own time. and then two weeks later, holy shit. the goddamn second i unlocked the slightest bit of facial hair and boom. 'not my fault you think i'm a girl. skill issue. oh shit i look GOOD'

they (the charming and helpful transmascs who make youtube videos) said T won't just up and fix your confidence issues, and yeah okay they're right because something something gotta find that in yourself or whatever, but also. they were right when they said it doesn't not fix your confidence issues.

now. sometimes it's even more fucking jarring when it's easier for me to forget that it still doesn't always translate. last week some middle-aged guy tried to ask me out while i was at work (it was a short and not ill-mannered interaction but pretty obviously 'area man has interacted with a Young Lady for five minutes and decided to go for it' way) and it was like. The FUCK? now?? like. sir. babygirl. you are not only barking up the wrong tree you are not even in a forest right now. this is in fact. a lumber department. 'you look lovely' my ass i am the grubbiest little dweeb you have ever seen and these aprons flatter nobody, not even me. who the fuck do you think you're trying to kid. also i'm a boy. no sparing your feelings no laughing it off no 'easy mistake to make' i hope you feel super awkward about this. not my fault you tried to pick up a grown-ass man with a mustache. i don't care if you were polite about it you're old enough to be my dad and this is my workplace. i am once again asking how the fuck did you get past security.

(work-life gender is totally a thing too. at work i am 'actually a boy but thanks', i'm they/he and uh him actually when people use 'her', i am just some guy, fuck you i am a grown-ass man stop telling me how to do my job boomer. and then i get to go home and be a creature and a weird little man (nonbinary) and i'm suddenly more comfortable in a bunch of the girl(?) shirts i had stopped wearing and i'm looking forward to approaching more of a queer guy flavor of femininity on my own time)

it's weird too in that materially very little has changed, like it's been all of four months, i sound like i'm getting over a cold and my face can do a new party trick. it's all still mine, it's just that maybe it feels a little bit more mine now.

anyway the point of all this was that. i couldn't be hot because i couldn't act like i was hot because i couldn't envision a version of events where people didn't make this my problem. and suddenly I'm Just Hot Now. because I Am. like it's just a fact now it's an immutable law of the universe. all those posts about 'i'm transgenedner and sexy' and i was like 'love that for you, couldn't be me tho' and now i'm transgedener and sexy. am I going to do anything about it?? god no. i'm gonna make this everybody else's problem.

(be funny if i had a slut era in an asexual way but one thing at a time perhaps)

[zero-insignificance]

DND Recap: Bob's Drag Race ft Miku

Cast includes: Rose the DM, Bob (yours truly), Truk, Patrick, Hill (Rene is gone now), and Alfie (guest stars)

The session opened with Bob asking Alfie a question,

Bob: Hank said that we'd end up together. Does this make me a furry? Alfie: What the fuck is a furry? Hank what's a furry? Hank: That's a question for your grandpappy. Alfie: Grandpazzaz? What's a furry? Azathoth: *sweating* Uh a furry is... an enthusiast for animal characters with human characteristics. Alfie: Oh. Bob: .... Alfie: Yes. You're a furry. Bob: Oh. Okay. Azathoth: *shaking and sweating in fatherly eldritch god*

Rene has left the party to run off with her wife to do lesbian things.

Bob: Truk. Where's the night club? Truk: How would I know? I was a kid. Bob: This is your kingdom. Truk: ... I know where the night club is.

This is the Drag Queen episode. Alfie would not be down to get all dragged up due to gender dysphoria being a trans guy. He stays behind with his family, especially to work on the cake. I am Bob now.

Truk starts leading us to the night club owned by Big Pete and he explains briefly. Bob was given 25 platinum pieces upfront to take out Big Pete and with get another 25 upon completion.

Truk leads the party through the streets of Russia. Bob and Truk have noticed a guy following us. Patrick is very insecure with himself. He doesn't have his cartoon powers anymore. He doesn't like the way he looks anymore. Bob and Patrick are both on the journey to liking what they see in the mirror.

We're going through alleys and stuff since Truk is like "This is the quickest route. We'll be there is 5 minutes." Patrick: does anyone have the time? Bob: *rummages through his pockets* Fuck. I left it in the castle... And a child comes up to us like "Do you have the time?" Patrick: No... Child: What's that in your hands? Rose: There is a large pocket watch in your hands. Patrick: Where did that come from? WHAT THE FUCK!? TRUK TAKE IT! *shoves it into Truk's hands* Truk: *panics in Russian* I DON'T WANT IT- *tosses it to Bob* Patrick's player: It starts ticking faster Bob: *panics and chucks it at the guy whose been following them. Me: Bob hits the deck. Patrick starts beating the giant pocket watch. Bob is on the ground in panicked British femboy. Nothing happens. They keep going and make it to Club Inferno.

There are angel statues outside of the club. They have their eyes covered. Everyone is immediately on edge. And we finally get to meet the person who has been tailing us.

This is Boothill who is taking Rene's place now that Rene and Lu have run off to have their own wedding with hookers and blackjack.

The session is briefly derailed by Truk's player and I critiquing the hold Hill has on his gun in the reference photo. Our autism was autisming in sync.

We are talking and are distracted. When we look back, the angels are gone. Bob: Fuck. Hank? Hank the orb: What is it? Bob: Uh... What the fuck? Hank: Those are weeping angels. They only move when they aren't being perceived. They're like security guards. If you don't do anything illegal, you'll be fine. Bob: *hisses* Uh... what if I have to do a murder? Hank: Just don't get caught, and you'll be fine. Bob: So, this is a stealth mission? I can do that. Hank: *presses x to doubt* Bob: What? Hank: You literally throw a smoke bomb every time you leave a room. You are the opposite of stealth. Bob: *british* Fuck. Hank: Don't make me bring out the cows. Bob: You're afraid of them too! That's a double-edged sword! Hank: *new yorker* Fuck.

Patrick books it since "No fuckin way am I sticking around near the Angel's last known location." Bob sweeps the leg. Hill fires a net launcher. Patrick fails the strength save and the dex save but Truk is entangled with Patrick.

Truk is let out. Patrick is let out after he promises not to run off.

Truk approaches the door to the club and sees a sign on the door. "Ladies night. No men allowed." Truk relays this to the party and Bob grins. "I know how to get us in there. I'm getting you all into drag."

He starts walking off gesturing for everyone to follow.

Patrick is concerned about Bob not having his shade. Bob ensures him to not worry about it and reveals his very expansive make up kit and it's basically that one scene in good omens where Crowely says that he has a permit. Patrick is shook, but has faith in Bob. Bob presses a button, and the kit starts retracting like a measuring tape. Bob yells for everyone to duck, he ducks down and the kit ravels up in his hand with a loud smack that hurts. Bob: Ow. Patrick: How does it do that? It shouldn't fit like that. Bob: My kit is bigger on the inside.

And they follow them to the back room of Sha'am.

Bob asks Sha'Carri if we can use the backroom to get everyone all done up in drag. Bob invites Sha'Carri to join us, but he declines stating that he was a drag queen but had to step back because he was too successful and stole a lot of men's hearts.

Sha'Carri gestures to his wall of hearts he's stolen.

Sha'Carri brings up that he would've loved to add Bob's heart to his collection.

Bob: *laughs* Good thing for both of us that you're not my type! Truly Sha'Carri, I see you like a brother. Patrick: Damn, you got family-zoned? Truk: He got sibling zoned. Rose: A single tear rolls down Sha'Carri's cheek. Me: Bob is too autistic to notice.

Eventually, Bob mentions the fact that he is horrifically depressed and that they lost their will to live.

Sha'Carri hides a jar from Bob. Sha'Carri rolls stealth. Bob rolls perception.

Bob gets a high roll, Sha'Carri's sucks.

Bob: Sha'Carri. What do you have? Sha'Carri: Nothing! Bob: *breaks into hives* Sha'Carri. Sha'Carri: Fuck I forgot about your allergy. Bob: *pulling out an EpiPen" Sha'Carri, what are you hiding from me? Sha'Carri groans realizing that there isn't a way to lie to Bob so he shows him a jar contain Bob's will to Live. Bob sticks himself with the EpiPen and says "I want it back." Sha'Carri: Let's do a trade! What are you willing to part with?

In the dms I've shared my headcanons about Bob to Rose, all of which started off with Rose saying "Did you know Baja Blast is lime?" in the Bob voice she used before I took over. They've all become canon or will be canon.

One of the things that Rose mentioned is that Bob has a tarrasque heart.

Bob: *british* I do have a tarrasque heart. Sha'Carri: A tarrasque heart??? *He can't turn that down* Bob pulls out an immaculate tarrasque heart he has in a jar and says "It's a deal." Sha'Carri says "Goodbye, my greatest possession." Bob: When did you even steal it? Sha'Carri: 7000 years ago? Bob: That was about 100 years after I developed the depression.

Me: How many tarrasque hearts does Bob have? Rose: Roll a d12. Me: 12! Rose: Bob has 120 tarrasque hearts. Players: damn. Where did he get those from Rose and I: ... Patrick: The fuck did he do? Rose: ANYWAY- Bob: Time for drag bootcamp. First things first. Let's get you all in heels.

Everyone rolls well on performance.

Bob is impressed with all of them.

Next. The body.

Everyone is padded up. Hill already has a slutty little waist, but he is put in the cincher anyways. Patrick insists on being put in the cincher. It is basically that one animation short from Legends of Avantris where Torbek wears a Playboy Bunny outfit. Patrick with have to roll con saves if he wants to do any strenuous activities. Truk refuses the waist cincher. Bob respects that. Hill does not. He tries to force him in the cincher. Truk resists. Hill shoots him with a tranq dart. Truk is out. Bob is like "I don't get paid enough for this" and starts painting Patrick. He does not try to stop Hill since this he has work to do on Patrick and he's not going to waste time. Truk is cinched by Hill.

Patrick looks like a very buff Lady Dimitrescu in drag.

When Truk wakes up he immediately rips off the waist cincher.

Bob asks Truks permission to do glue down Truks eyebrows. Truk refuses cuz autism. Bob respects that as a fellow late diagnosed autistic individual. Bob lets Truk feel the products to see which products don't set off his sensory issues.

Truk looks like himself, but a girl.

Hill does not recognize himself in the mirror.

Bob did a phenomenal job.

The party is all kitted out and Bob does a magical girl transformation and shouts for Sha'Carri to come look.

Sha'Carri is impressed and the last thing we need to do is give everyone drag names

Patrick's drag name is Dutchess Dauntless

Truk’s drag name is Crystal Empress

Hill’s drag name Electra Flash

Truk's player pulls a phenomenal girl voice out of his ass for Truk. Rose is jealous "I'm going to key your car." Alfie drops off some muffins and gives everyone a thumbs up. He thinks they look awesome. He teleports off.

We are on the way to the club. It takes 15 minutes to get to the club.

We enter. Everyone is too tall for the building.

Bob is immediately swarmed by 5 fans of Glitta Fah Faes who is his drag persona. He is a celebrity in the drag scene.

They want his autograph say that they've been to every single one of his shows and he states that it's good to be back.

They ask why he's here and he says that it is because he wants to show off his drag daughters which isn't a lie. He's fey so I have to be careful about what I say. I can't lie but I also can't be lied to because of the allergy. I am a lie detector.

He asks a worker where Big Pete is, and they say that he's in the Tall Ladies Room.

They head to the back room where there is Big Pete, a lady centaur who is a security guard, Lady Dimitrescu and Bayonetta.

Big Pete: *gruff new yorker* GLITTA! Glitta: Big Pete. Lovely to see you. Big Pete: What brings you here? Glitta: Mostly come to show off my drag daughters. just look at them. Crystal: hi~ Dutchess: Sup. Electra: Mm. Glitta: You wouldn't know it, but this is their first times in drag. Big Pete: Really? I'm impressed. Glitta: I'm a bit of a miracle worker. Big Pete: Glitta. That can't be the only reason you came. Bob nods and sits next to him. The Centaur stares at Truk. She goes to slowly shuffle over to Truk but Hill glares at her and she stops.

Bob: I hear that you're not treating your employees fairly~ And Big Pete lies through his teeth.

Bob gets a bit itchy. And Pete says he should get that looked at.

"It's an allergy. I'm allergic to bullshit. I know you're lying,"

As he continues talking to Big Pete, he speaks into Lady Dimitrescu's mind "Nod or shake your head if you want to be here." She shakes her head slightly. He asks Bayonetta the same thing. Same response. He speaks to their minds once more. "You should leave" And they do.

Big Pete: *cocky* Glitta. What are you doing?

And Bob flips him around putting him in a chokehold and squeezing his fat neck and he chokes out "Glitta... What are you doing?" Bob has Pete grappled and frightened. And in the smoothest fucking line I've ever done Bob in that suave accent says with a smirk on his face "Community service."

He pulls out his poisoning kit which is made to look like a makeup kit.

He twists off the top a perfume bottle and pours it into Pete's mouth. It's arsenic. And Pete immediately starts having a seizure.

His body is stashed in Bob's bag of holding.

He dies.

Then it is revealed who the centaur is.

She is Truk's half-sister. The first demigod we have to kill.

He wants to fight her one on one.

Truk fucking shoves her into the wall. The wall crumbles. The dispel magic field is destroyed

We are told to get everyone out.

Bob unlocks the door and quickly opens it shouting "FIRE!!!"

Everyone books it. Truk stays behind.

And the rest of the party must deal with two weeping angels. Bob has encountered weeping angels before.

He knows not to look them in the eyes. He relays this to the party.

Bob: DON'T LOOK THEM IN THE EYES. Patrick: Why not? Bob: An image of angel is in itself an angel. JUST DON'T Patrick makes chin contact; Hill is staring at the robes.

Patrick needs to be out of the cincher. Bob cuts through the lace but fumbles the dex check and stabs Patrick a lot.

You have a system. We must all make a con save to keep our eyes open for each round.

Patrick uses his warning blade to sense the angels. Bob uses his warning shotgun to sense the angels. I don't remember most of what Hill did, but I know he killed an Angel.

Bob shot the first Angel's arm off. Hill kills it.

Patrick lobs off the last angel's head but it's not enough cuz Alfie shows up all "Wtf is happening?"

Everyone in the party has a friendship bracelet. (except for Hill) Those are symbols of Alfonse's protection. He can sense when the party is in danger. He comes to their aid, appearing between Bob and Patrick. He is shouted at to close his eyes. He obliges and...

He's touched by a weeping angel.

Rose: How old is Alfie? Me: He's 28, but he can't age cuz draconic bloodline sorcerer and also eldritch god. Rose: Oh yeah. Alfie is sent backward in time 85 years. Me: Really? Rose: HOLY SHIT, THAT MEANS HE LIVES THROUGH THE FALL OF RUSSIA- Me: He lives through the same trauma as Truk... He can't catch a break.... Patrick: Alfie NO- Alfie: *walks back up* Sup.

Alfie has been living in Russia for the last 85 years as a carpenter. He is the one commissioned for those god-awful doors to the throne room and the massive dining room set.

He waves his hand to use magic to push everyone back, plops down an explosive he made that morning, steps back, and hits the detonator as he closes his eyes.

BOOM

There is now a crater where the angel used to be.

Alfie gives everyone an explanation of what happened and asks where Truk is.

Cut to Truk's fight with Hannical, the centaur demigod.

Hannical cast snilloc’s snowball swarm in Truk. 5 cold damage.

Alfie: YOUR NAME SUCKS.

Truk casts branding smit doing 55 damage

Hannical: *pulls out crossbows* Magic isn’t the way to go with you, brother.

92 damage not including the damage from being forced through the wall

Hannical keeps critting

Truk is at 81 health

Truk calls on his friends

And we fuck Hannical up

And because it was cool, Hannical is on the ground on one hp.

Hannical: How? You’re supposed to be weak. YOU'RE THE RUNT- Truk: I may be weak, but I have something you don’t have. FRIENDS.

She is killed by a blow to the head.

Alfie gives Truk a hug.

Truk is looking rough. Bob is hyped cuz he can dissect Pete.

Bob has his will to live back, but he has to open the jar and he's scared cuz he hasn't had it in 7000 years. Alfie rips the bandaid off and uncorks the jar and HOLY SHIT DOES THIS FUCKING HURT.

Bob: Oh gods. AH- FUCK-

Bob immediately crumples to the ground and his breath is caught in his throat and his is in a lot of pain.

And then fucking Hatsune Miku shows up

She and Bob know each other. They play poker together every week. They have a pact that Bob made when he was drunk on 80 shots of polish rectified spirit after beating her in a drinking contest where he must play her every Wednesday until he beats her for the first time.

4920-0

Bob sucks at poker.

Truk’s first memory of Alfie was Alfie walking up to him as a child doing some business in the castle gardens and handing him a flower and saying “You’re going to do great things, Truk”

His second memory is of him walking up to Alfie as he installs those god awful doors.

Lil Truk: I know what you are. Alfie: Hm? Lil Truk: You like kissing boys don't you? Alfie: wha- Lil Truk: You like kissing boys~ Alfie: what the- Lil Truk: You're gay. Alfie: *sweatin* Lil Truk: Honestly slay. It looks good on you. Alfie: ... Lil Truk: gaslight gatekeep girl boss. Alfie: *keysmash* *drops the door on himself* Lil Truk: ARE YOU OKAY- Alfie: *flattened a la looney tunes* I'll be fine. Don't tell your father. or your mother. Get the bike pump.

Patrick carries Bob Alfie carries Truk cuz Alfie is ripped he's been wrestling bears in Russia.

He fist bumps a bear "See you round, Vlad."

At one point Patrick yoinks Truk and Alfie demands his son back.

Truk: WAIT WHAT? Alfie: Gimme. This is addressed later.

We head back to Sha'am to get Pat's clothes back.

[snarltoothed]

okay… weird tangent. but like, brute force manual labor aside women actually ffr literally do everything better than men? even stereotypically manly things if the woman in question is interested in doing and (especially in the case of what i’m about to discuss) able to do the “man thing”.

i was thinking about it and honestly, i have never seen a woman with a beard or moustache whose facial heard was objectively unattractive… if you disregard the fact that facial hair in general never fits into what society considers “objectively attractive” for women.

women with beards aren’t that common right. there are not all that many women with actual full beards (probably more than you’d think considering that a lot of women remove their facial hair… even when it’s unpigmented peach fuzz… but dermaplaning is another fucking discussion), that’s just how sexual dimorphism works, women generally have lighter and lesser facial hair.

however… whenever a woman DOES have the hair growth pattern for a beard (for whatever reason) and grows it out… she always keeps it nice, clean, well-groomed, even shaped well if she boasts a thick enough face rug for shaping to matter… and it is obvious WHY, dgmw, i know women are socialized to care more about being attractive and “presentable” — but frankly some men will have the fucking ugliest unkempt beards and i think female socialization is correct on the “take some pride in your appearance” front with this one.

i literally had to explain to my last ex that he might come off as more professional in interviews if he like… invested in a beard trimmer and shaped it every so often. because the man’s beard was rectangular. like, disturbingly rectangular. i’ll give him credit for keeping it in… a bubble braid (?) most of the time, that was kinda cool aesthetically… but when he took those hairties out and smoothed out the kinks… the man looked like he’d walked straight out of minecraft.

and the thing is… he didn’t even know what i meant. he was like “what do you mean shape it?” and i just had to fucking white guy blink at him and patiently explain that the mid-length beards you see on like, “attractive” actors don’t just… grow in shaped like that and that men with longer facial hair often still trim small parts of it to shape it in a way that better flatters their faces? and that if he wasn’t sure how to shape it himself he could absolutely just get it done at the barber’s…

and of course he had to ask if i personally thought it would make him more attractive like dude… obviously, but i was bringing it up gently! and as a serious tip on how to maybe come off as more hirable in interviews which could’ve been completely unrelated to my personal thoughts about it because i literally don’t look hirable in my day to day either. not that this entire paragraph is even related to the point i just forgot how annoying men can be. i’m actually not entirely sure how asperbergers even became a thing, because i swear on my mother i have never met a man who DOESN’T have trouble reading social nuances. (i’m aware that aspergers is no longer a thing and that instead we now acknowledge that all parts of autism exist on a spectrum and i’m also aware that the nazis came up with it but please let a woman make a joke)

back to the actual point tho… like dude? you are in your early thirties and have had a beard since your mid twenties bro you… you aren’t familiar with the idea of being able to trim your beard into a different shape? that’s like being unaware of the existence of hairstyles as an elemenary schooler??? and did he just… never look in the mirror at any point before i mentioned this and notice that his beard was literally rectangular, right angles and all? or did he and he was just like “whatever i guess that’s just how my beard looks nothing i can do about that”? baffling.

and women, no on expects women to have facial hair, in fact it is discouraged. women with beards don’t have as many beard-having peers to learn from. and yet… they keep those beards looking fabulous.

even just a little moustache looks better on a woman, but that’s not a fair comparison. men never look good with JUST a moustache. it either looks like they’re a teenager, really into like… steampunk, or a creep of some sort depending on their natural hair growth and style of moustache.

[octoagentmiles]

Any headcanons for the octoagents?

This is an old ask, my apologies 😅 I wasn't sure how to start, because there's so many. This is gonna be a long post.

Paani:

Definitely not neurotypical but I can't place how; He seems to have low empathy for people, but hyperempathy for objects (his measuring pole and waterboard) and a rigid moral compass (why he stole the Gup-H and their water without thinking, because he thought it was right).

I can see him as both being gay and aro, so I'm gonna say he is both. yeah.

Multilingual, mostly speaks English and Hindi, but can also speak Spanish, and a lot of Indigenous languages.

Chose his own name.

Tracker:

Autistic, was diagnosed young

Barnacles' first actual friend in the cub scouts

Also friends with Bianca: he visits her and the cubs regularly

Fluent in ASL/BSL; goes nonverbal during meltdowns/shutdowns

The Polar Emergency Post Station also has a Text to Speech messaging option for him to use just in case he's ever nonverbal during a crisis

He's younger than Barnacles (but older than Kwazii, so like 28-ish), and really looks up to him in a "big brother" way

Hits his head (lightly) or pulls his fur as a stim

They/he vibes. I feel like he's nonbinary but doesn't realize it

Natquik:

Grandfather figure to Barnacles; his relationship with him mirrors Kwazii and Calico Jack's

He's an immigrant, that's why he has a Russian accent

Maybe like 40-50-ish years old??

Noticed Barnacles was autistic immediately upon meeting him, and chose to become his personal mentor for that reason. He's autistic himself

^ would've done the same with Tracker had they met earlier

Calico Jack:

Shunned by his family/crew, he left on his journey to the Amazon River because he had to leave them

Would've come back for Kwazii eventually, he wrote letters to him everyday. Most of them got lost, but the ones that didn't contained spooky monstery tales

Pete is almost as old as he is (60-ish)

Guess who else is autistic???? that's right, this guy!!! also has dyscalculia

Left handed/ambidextrous because Pete always sits on his right arm, so he taught himself to use the other

Can speak Japanese

Asexual he/they because I say so

Ranger Marsh:

Let Tweak dye his fur last time she visited before the Great Swamp Search (the dye is like, SUPER permanent. Tweak engineered it herself)

Can't swim, that's why he'd never been under the swamp's waters

Taught Tweak how to grow carrots, and a bunch of recipes

Excellent forager

ADHD and dysgraphia (but never diagnosed)

Pearl:

Dyslexia and dyspraxia. She struggles with coordination and spatial awareness, and she's not very good with her hands.

Nerd™ almost moreso than Shellington

Around the same age as Barnacles, so like 31-35.

Always tired for some reason

Abrosexual. That's all.

Min:

Her colour scheme is literally orange, white, and pink, need I say more?

Hypermobile

10-ish years younger than Inkling, so about 50-60.

English is her second language, Mandarin is her first

Paints as a hobby; she likes to paint rocks and leave them in the places she travels, then mark them on her maps

Totally knows kung fu

Ryla:

Gay gay homosexual gay and they/she

The neurotypical friend 😔 /lh

She and Dashi definitely had a Thing™ together at some point

Can NOT cook. Has really bad taste buds in general.

Probably has a bunch of scars from cave diving

They've been stuck in caves for much longer than "a few days" before; this started happening much more often after Dashi left

Koshi:

Autism. no neurotypical child reads 56 novels in that short of a time because they feel like it.

Instead of not noticing/struggling with social ques, she's hyperaware of them at all times. She heard Barnacles say his catchphrase ("Let's do this!") once in her first appearance, then stole it from him immediately in AnB.

Stims very "loudly" (jumping, screaming, arm flapping)

Calls Dashi "Sis" because that's what Donna Doxie calls her sister. The author of that book is siblingless.

Pinto:

ADHD; coincidentally happened to be having a hyperfixation on pirates when he met Kwazii in his first appearance

Kwazii hooked onto that AND recognized his ADHD right away, which is why he bonded with him so fast (he reminded him of a younger version of himself)

Struggles with executive dysfunction sometimes, and jumps from one interest to another constantly

He started school recently, and it's made him more aware about his "inability to focus" and he's been feeling kinda insecure about it

^ he's gonna have fun being a Junior Agent, because at least half the Octonauts have ADHD too, so he'll feel more understood and accepted with them :)

[tumblingclockwork]

Do you have mepad or toilet autism hcs. And would u like to share if u find the time

HEY ANON IM LITERALLY IN LOVE WITH YOU

THEYRE SOOOOO AUTISTIC. THEYRE SO AUTISTIC. AND I HAVE PROOF.

Ok so starting off with MePad. Oh man this guy. He’s so autistic.

- a main thing with MePad is that he really really struggles with emotions, and how to express them. To the point of telling people that he doesn’t feel them at all. Which is sooo autistic of him.

- I’ve pointed this out before but MePad avoid’s eye contact when he’s stressed! It’s a subtle detail but he does it a couple times throughout season 2

- He speaks very formally! Especially in early season 2. His vocabulary far extends that of most other people on the show.

- He also struggles to convey tone a lot! There are many moments in which his facial expression changes far more than his vocal tone does. One of the most prominent examples I can think of is when MePhone blows Toilet’s little cards away and MePad looks Mad about it but his voice doesn’t change at all.

- he mirrors the behaviors of the people around him over time. Especially MePhone. The way he acts and especially the way he addresses his own feelings directly changes based on things MePhone says to him

- He has a hard time understanding the motivations/feelings of others! His conversation with Toilet during afterlife in the limelight was Very autistic. He sees other people doing things that only make themselves more miserable and he doesn’t understand it at all! Even when it’s behavior that someone he’s very close with (Toilet) exhibits a lot.

Now Toilet is definitely also autistic don’t get me wrong. Here’s a bunch of reasons why:

- his vocal mannerisms are very different from everyone else (even excluding all the things he says because he’s British). Specifically he refers to MePhone as Mr.Phone, and even once “Mr.MePhone”, meaning it’s not just him mishearing the name. He just sort of does that

- he struggles a lot with volume control. He’s often a lot louder than everyone else to the point that it hurts Mic’s ears.

- He tends to think in very far extremes. This is best seen in his relationship with his fellow hosts and how they change over time.

- He doesn’t understand the motives of others, even when they’re seemingly obvious. For example he doesn’t catch on to the fact that MePhone doesn’t Actually want a ton of wires.

- also uh. A bunch of people think he’s super weird! Multiple contestants show they think he’s very odd. They don’t understand him at all. Even going so far as to refer to him as if he’s not a living thing. Which, as terrible as it is, is quite an autistic mood.

[transsexualhamlet]

norman hcs no one asked for

hi im here to bully the whitest white boy to ever autism

-yes he is aromantic. yes he is gay. no i will not elaborate

-one time grace field tried to put on a play and norman was the worst actor literally anyone has ever seen, while ray was practically hamlet

-as a fellow left handed bitch i can attest to the fact that norman’s handwriting is Incorrectly Built he writes his letters upside down but they look indistinguishable from fucking arial font

-he acts like his william minerva cloak is just there for like disguise reasons but in reality he will pose in front of the mirror with it on every day and think about how cool he looks in it

-ray started a rumor that norman simply was not a real person when he was like eight and half the orphanage believed him and norman like didn’t even notice it happened until emma told him

-norman is scared of dogs :) he sees a great dane and screeches he thinks it will kill him or maybe touch him or lick him this is the same thing actually

-as an official autism this man needs so much structure in his life it’s insane. what lambda really didn’t understand is that to mess him up all you’d need to do is make him do the test ten minutes later than usual he’d fucking fail  

-when he was at grace field he always secretly wished he would get taller but then lambda happened and he’s like yeah but not like this

-the thing is even when he got taller and Larger that did NOT mean he got stronger in any way. In most ways, he’s even weaker, given he thinks not sleeping or eating or taking his meds is a power move.

-I think norman can play the piano just my personal opinion he’s like way too good at it bc isabella gave him lessons and he worked hard on it because it earned him PointsTM but drops it completely as soon as he’s allowed to

-he hyperfixated on fucking calculus when he was nine and it was hilarious bc he would just spout unsolicited math every time you said anything to him and everyone would be like oh my god norman literally no one cares

-his main special interests are languages and codes, which helped him out a lot with like, learning demonese or whatever, by the time he’s Minerva he knows about seven human languages and two demon variants and has gotten increasingly cryptic in minerva communications and everyone is extremely frustrated with it because no one is going to be able to decode that, norman, please do not make it in french as well

-the lambda kids are getting tired of his scholarly bullshit (except for vincent lmao) and have taken to speaking in pig latin at him every time he writes messages in actual latin. norman hates this with a burning passion

-no one in the orphanage knows their actual ethnicity but norman has decided completely of his own accord to self id as fucking british and will 100 percent mention it to anyone

-Norman brushes his hair. Which is hilarious seeing as there’s about two centimeters of it, like four when he’s older. No one knows why he just Has To or he will feel Unprepared

-he’s the kind of guy who you think is going to go to ravenclaw like his color palate is even set up for it and then boom. slytherin

-Ray constantly attempts to put Flavor on norman’s food because he knows norman will have a heart attack if his white bread is too spicy. However he has never once succeeded at tricking norman into putting something Rigged into his mouth and it’s like kind of an inside joke/game at this point he’ll be like “ah thank you so much for this lovely biscuit ray but oops it appears I have dropped it into the well :)”

-no one is quite sure how he ever wins tag but the real answer is that he hides in the same spot every time and no one’s ever figured out where it is because when they give up he emerges from the complete other side of the forest like hello besties :) 

-Emma forgets how Frail norman is a lot of he time and he now gets a favor every time emma tackles him from behind and nearly murders him. norman just saves these up like he’s going to use them to go to college and she’s getting concerned about what he’s planning to do with all of them. he simply never uses them

i have many more but like norman my beloved (derogatory)

[willowaudreykeyes]

Okay: I’ve watched it 4 times and here’s the things about the episode that I find interesting. Or that I’m looking too much into. You guys can all decide because idk.

- Roman seems to make alliterations when he's shocked? He's done it before, but now he's done it again and when he's surprised that Thomas 'lied' or 'tricked' the ticket person.

- Virgil has resting disappointed face even as he eats popcorn.

- Roman is very dramatic about the age thing. "He's in his thirties, he may as well be in his sixties." "Can't think of new excuses quick enough in his old age."

- "I love you" is very big words. Do not use them, or forget them, lightly around Virgil.

- Have they always been on his back so much about lying, or was it only after Janus was introduced?

- Possibility: Romans eyes actually change into hearts when cute guy appears?

- Also: Roman goes into Shakespearean when cute guy appears.

- Roman is so optimistic when it comes to love! But not about other Sides? He's rather pessimistic when it came to Virge (at the beginning) and Janus. And kinda Remus too.

- Roman has used "We don't know if he's not gay" more times then the three can count.

- Pins equals introverts way of talking apparently. I guess that makes sense, since there’s pins for almost every kind of hobby, and Virgil knows this too.

- Roman sounds rather happy when they found out that Nico likes Paramore. Supporting his emo friend and his hobbies right there.

- “The Nightmare Before Christmas” is and will always be a Prinxiety thing. Did you see those star eyes Roman gave? And how happy-surprised Virge was?

- Virgil does think about romance too. “You can live like Jack and Sally, if you want.” Kind of cute.

- Virgil has eyes like a damn hawk. He saw those pins and went full on x10 zoom on them.

- Roman’s got some adorable music happening when more clues appear.

- Sticker/Button System must be followed or Virge no happy.

- Roman is almost as good as Patton with puns, except he has to explain it. Has he done that before? I feel like he has. I feel like this is a thing but I’m not sure.

- Roman and Virgil have about the same wavelength when it came to the creepy stalking-ish part. They both cringe when Thomas goes off to the side.

- If you use a word at the end of a sentence that sounds like a name at Roman, he thinks you got his name wrong. He did it at some other point I can’t remember when but he does this. Kind of feels like a autism and/or ADHD trait? (I know I for sure get confused sometimes)

- “Great... he’s gay” “Great indeed...” “GREAT INDEED” I love them. Just gonna say that again.

- Roman has this big thing about his name and it doesn’t seem like its a thing he’s faking? He seems genuinely confused. The one that’s two above mentions it, and the way he spelt it at the trial? And how he seemed very defensive when Janus spelt it wrong? This is a thing.

- Virgil is a self-proclaimed expert of anti-social etiquette and I say he deserves that title. 

- Virgil also really likes non-verbal ways of communicating. 

- Roman does the thing where you put your two pointer fingers together and its adorable.

- Fast head nod of agreement coming from Roman here. Over dramticness? Or actual quirk?

- Roman very much freaks out when flirting goes wrong. Not just a Virgil thing. 

- Virgil be scaring Thomas with zero regrets when he lost his test that the Universe gave him.

- Virgil be very glad to admit when he’s panicking. He also has admitted when he’s anxious in the past. He knows it, acknowledges it, makes Thomas and the others deal with it because dealing with it isn’t in the job description.

- Roman’s fine with compromise! Virgil gives an idea that attempts to help the romance part, Roman’s not 100% happy but rolls with it. Besties right here (even if they don’t know it). He does have a limit though.

- Nicknames are forever with Roman.

- Virgil is on Thomas’ left side, the more ‘thinky’ side of the brain. Roman is on the right, the more ‘feely’ side of the brain. It’s kind of more obvious in the scene where they grab Thomas a lot.

- Roman really slips with his feelings when he’s stressed. He says stuff that’s usually more about his self-worth. “You’re making a mistake.” “If I am, I’ll add it to the list.” That was said under a lot of stress and frustration. He’s done it before and he’s done it again; except now they don’t address it and it’s just a passing sentence.

- pLaNt

- Virgil would rather embarrass Thomas by making him talk to a stranger, instead of the guy that he thinks is cute? I mean, its very embarrassing by the end of it and Virge barely seems affected by it.

- And now Virgil is compromising. He works with Roman to make sure that Thomas looks okay (the “check your teeth” line).

- idk wtf the sty’s thing is about. Weirdly placed anxiety over it? Or something?

- Roman is very impulsive and basically throws Thomas into the trash can when a bad thing happens in front of a lot of people. Ego was definitely hurt there. Why hide instead of run away? Did Virgil sorta influence that?

- Plans help anxiety. Pretty sure they’ve covered that topic before, but lets just do a recap in this I guess.

- Virgil is half the people on this platform “Cyberstalking... but real life”. I mean, everyone makes a metaphor that has an actual word behind it sometimes. 

- “Try Speaking from the heart” ... I expected Patton, but there has been moments before where a Side who is expected to be there, isn’t there. Logan showed this in “Moving On” when he physically left but he never REALLY left. Patton showing up to add his own words to this may have been too much for him? Or he thought it would be for the others?

- Ah crap here’s the monologue-

- First off, it’s very honest. Full on honesty. With no holding back. And it really hit the feels; but is it realistic though? (Genuinely asking I’ve never been in that kind of situation)

- Very rambly too “I honestly don’t know what I’m doing at the mall today. I don’t know what I was looking for... I guess that answers my question- The mall is where you go when you want something but you don’t know what it is because the mall has everything.” Very rambly, very nervous, very honest.

- Roman and Virgil are very... in awe? Shocked? What is this? Roman looks so contemplative as he looks at himself in the mirror and I wanna be in his brain and know what he’s thinking.

- “I don’t know a lot about anything. Least of all, myself.” Okay, Janus just pulled all the way away for a full minute and forty-eight seconds (this is 99% accurate) to just let Thomas talk and feel didn’t he? This is just complete honesty.

- Anyone would be awkward with the guy coming out of that stall. I’m awkward thinking about it and seeing it again. Moving on-

- “I gotta stop wooing strangers in bathrooms” just a 3000 word fic of at least one other time that he’s done this and I will be yours forever

- Virgil is a dramatic emo who dislikes lying. Crossed arms, waiting outside for him, looks up when he says “you know what I meant”- They’re all part of an actor your at least a LITTLE dramatic.

- Virgil has a big thing about lies and relationships. This has to do with him and Janus’ relationship somehow- It’s about Thomas’ relationships with friends and his romantic life too. He didn’t seem as annoyed about them in the ‘Lies’ song way back when which didn’t mention lying about any type of relationship.

- “Can’t have true love if the relationship isn’t built on truth.” Is this what he was thinking about in the bathroom? Its a cute line either way. 

- Okay, Roman and Janus have some kind of... something. Cause a lot of Roman’s talks about his goals for Thomas pushes Thomas into relying on Janus until Roman realises that it’s morally bad OR (as seen in the talk after the bathroom scene) when he realises that it’ll be bad for Thomas in the long run.

- “Will (D)deceit continue to be the answer to all of your problems? Is that fair to him?” HIM WHO!? Janus or Nico!? Both!? AHHHH! This could mean so much in any direction you throw it but I can’t find the dang words!! “No, he’s better off without me.” This could just be Thomas misunderstanding the ‘him’ Virgil means too or he does understand idk-

- “I was afraid you left!” *INSERT TWO SIDES SCREAMING HERE* Hahaha he’s literally screaming on the inside omg-

- “He fears things too!?” Virgil doesn’t understand how people work when he’s worked up. Duly noted.

- Roman and Virgil equals A Gay Panic

- Thomas’ first thought when panicked is to ask the guy, that he thinks is cute and has been trying to get the attention of for the last while, ‘what is wrong with you?’ ... 10/10 Thomathy

-  .Roman seems... a little resigned that another ‘chance at happiness’ is walking away? I mean, he’s super sad but resigned to his fate. That’s sad as hell. He’s USED TO THIS and I don’t like that 😢

- Virgil’s scene where he looks between, NOT Thomas, but Nico and Roman, is really well done and filled with... a lot. He psyches himself up first of, taking in quick breaths before pushing Thomas, obviously afraid but still doing it anyway. And the look he gives a very resigned Roman looks like its both guilt and sadness. Could just be me thinking that he has a ‘this is my fault’ thing.

- Full on surprise on Roman’s face when Virgil pushes Thomas. No one was expecting that.

- Carrots. The carrots brought them together. Thomas... you don’t have to eat carrots, but at least say ONCE that they aren’t all bad.

- “I like songs” you’ve also written some and sung x5 as many but okay, go with that I guess. (Is this to not brag about being a singer right away? I guess so?)

- If Nico was writing about something that happened midway through his visit to the food court, what was he writing about before that? Did he have nothing until Thomas tripped over the bin?

- “I tend to waste a lot of opportunities in my life” Then cuts to Virgil. Ouch. Direct hit on Virge...

- BRAVERY. (i’ll get back to this-)

- “Shut up, emo.” No complicated nicknames; just the easy picking. Very cute. Very yes. Roman your a sap and its great.

- When Thomas is telling Roman to ‘get out’, he sinks down and is he biting his thumb? He’s still excited. And I’m adding ‘biting’ to his list of stims.

- Virgil claps his hands.  Roman and Virgil both cover their mouths. Both yell. Manic hand movements. Virgil gets Thomas to walks around and flappy hands. (And the nervous pee too I guess?)

- OKAY. EYESHADOW. Big thing, also new. I believe that it may be him ‘growing’ as a Side. First, he believed that he was JUST Thomas’ anxiety. Then comes to term with being more then that, which helps him become a ‘Light Side’. And now, he’s learnt that ‘fear’ and ‘bravery’ can both be present at the same time and is now growing from that as well. So, his back and forth between black and purple could mean a back and forth of the ‘fear’ and ‘bravery’ aspects. Thomas about to send a bad tweet? Black. Optimistic about things ‘never being the same again’? Purple. Thomas bringing up that they just met? Black. Its a promising start? Purple again.  Purple when something optimistic, its purple. Pessimistic, its black. There’s a thing happening there.

- And also, lots of smiley Virgil when he goes purple. Brave enough to smile? Or optimistic enough to be truly happy about it?

- “Join me! No thinking!” Okay, all the ‘Roman Himbo’ stans have already gone nuts over this so I’ll keep going XD

- Roman’s first date idea is to go to France immediately and I love him for being so honestly over-the-top

- Dogs are the demons of anxiety its now a fact. They even bring out the Tempest Tongue, despite hearing the dog “thirty times a day”.

- Do not tell Virgil to relax. Black eyeshadow. Very on brand tbh. He does not relax and you should know this by now Roman.

All in all; I love them and the entire episode ❤️ 🧡 💛 💚 💙 💜

[nivateth]

So. Pronouns and Other Shit About Me That’s Personal (Kinda)

I go by She/They, I call it ‘Being an Entiddy’ but I don’t yet know if that’s appropriate or not.

I’m Genderfluid. It confuses people that I say I’m that to considering I call myself something more of an Enby, but I’m also an Enby so there’s that.

I have *all the genders.*

But yeah. I’m Genderfluid in a... unique, way. (At least, I think.)

I go by the Entiddy you see before you mostly online. I’m not in the closet, that’s just how I do things and how my brain processes it.

Sometimes Niv comes out to play in the real world, but it’s pretty rare.

in fact I only literally thirty minutes ago looked in the mirror and saw Niv rather than... who I am IRL.

And given how much euphoria I felt, it might just be that I’m transgender.

Well, Niv is transgender. Just not in a way that most people would assume.

As for how that means this *isn’t* a way to catfish people in all kinds of ways, well it’s simple really.

I’m Demiromantic Ace. Not yet sure where I am on either sexual identity’s different spectrums, but I know I’m sex-positive ace, and that I couldn’t really even form a romantic bond without someone knowing *everything* about me and I them. If someone asks I tell them who I am IRL (Not like, my name or smthn, but my identity as a guy.) I don’t care.

I’m on the ‘High-Functioning’ end of the Autism spectrum. It means (to me, I know there are a lot of other ways people can experience this and I feel for all of you.) I can look and act totally normal, but the struggles in my head are quite a bit more irritating.

Every time I first hear something, I take it literally. But my brain corrects itself and tells me what is actually happening. This isn’t due to any training, though I am Very Traumatized. I’ve had this trait since I was little.

Though I was also traumatized when I was little and I don’t go to therapy because Texas is very famous for it’s shitty mental health professionals sometimes.

N e Ways, that’s some stuff about me that’s probably personal but oversharing is kinda a thing I do.

Also: God help me with writing my tags.

[itsclydebitches]

Hey Clyde! Love your reviews on RWBY. My question is about Ozpin. If he survived fighting Cinder, would the events of volume 4-6 still happen? I believe the only reason team RWBYJNR treated Ozpin that way was because he was with Oscar who basically looked like a kid to them. However, if he was still in his adult body, would they have been more respectful?

Hi, anon! Thank you! I’m actually super glad you asked this. I’ve touched on how Oscar’s age and looks have impacted how others perceive Ozpin a bit in other asks, but haven’t had the chance to compose a substantial meta about it. I will attempt to fix that here! 

FYI, it’ll get decently image heavy from here on out. 

First, as a general response to the question of whether the events of Volumes 4-6 would have changed if Ozpin had survived: absolutely. If only because Ozpin as a figurehead would have still been around to lead both his inner circle and function as a symbol of strength for the rest of the world. Unless he was completely incapacitated from the fight or something (like in a coma), the expectation is that Ozpin would have begun rebuilding his school. Glynda wouldn’t have been left alone to try and deal with a frozen Wyvern attracting grimm. Ironwood wouldn’t have been left to figure out where to go from here. Qrow wouldn’t have been sent on a mission to return Ozpin’s cane. The whole world (including Atlas) may have been less likely to panic with Ozpin there to provide perspective and support. Lionheart presumably would have been less inclined to betray him, at least so soon and so overtly. An Ozpin who will reincarnate at some unknown point is a future Lionheart problem, and therefore far less intimidating. An Ozpin who still lives and commands his inner circle is way more of a threat and Lionheart would be more likely to get caught. Remember that even Salem was surprised by how quickly Ozpin reincarnated and dove back into the game—all the baddies were banking on more time. So yes, a ton would have changed. The group’s focus is now more along the lines of, “So is Ozpin going to fix things and can we go back to school?” and less, “Ozpin is dead as a door nail and no one is able to fix things for us. Might as well go hunt Cinder ourselves.” 

But onto the meat of the ask. Is the group treating Ozpin like they are at least partly because he’s in the body of a kid? That’s also a resounding ‘yes.’ Human beings, including the humans and the faunus that we write in fiction, are incredibly judgmental (for better and for worse) based on how someone else looks. If you’re able to see then you tend to prioritize that information over other aspects of a person. We create markers that we then learn and assume mean something when, much of the time, they don’t. Or, to put it another way, we create stereotypes. We can think about this in terms of gender presentation: a masculine-looking person giving orders is seen as the “boss” whereas a feminine-looking person giving orders is seen as a “bitch.” We can complicate that with race: we’re more likely to view a white woman giving orders as “assertive” when compared to a black man giving orders. That’s “aggressive.” From giving a girl long blonde hair when you want to cue people into the fact that she’s (supposedly) dumb, to making a man skinny when you want him to seem vulnerable, our media is chock-full of those markers, subtly (and sometimes not so subtly) encouraging us to read characters in particular ways. There’s a reason that Yang, the go-getter, is blonde whereas Blake, the bookworm, has black hair. There’s a reason that Cardin wasn’t designed as a twig and Jaune is a couple inches shorter than him. There’s even a reason why the sap the group collects is red rather than, say, yellow, orange, blue—literally any other color. Only red sap makes it look like Cardin is covered in blood when he attacks Jaune, thus increasing how much we read him as a threat. The characters’ designs matter. 

What does all that have to do with Ozpin? Well, at the start of the series his markers all point to authority and wisdom. He’s a white man, for one. He dresses in a formal suit. There are nods towards his age (a cane, white hair) that tell us, despite his baby face, that he’s someone who has been around a while and thus has a great deal of experience to draw on. He’s also, significantly, tall. Take a look at how his talks with Ruby read visually. 

Ruby is incredibly small compared to Ozpin. He towers above her and she’s constantly in a position of looking up to him, mirroring the ways in which she figuratively looks up to him for advice. Her mannerisms are also younger and don’t carry much confidence. Crossing her arms and sulking. Wringing her hands while asking if she’s made a mistake. The way Ruby moves contrasts Ozpin’s own very still, very composed mannerisms. Body language and facial expression is one of the primary ways that we communicate and the slightest change can carry a world of meaning. For example, compare these two shots of Yang from Volume 1 and Volume 6: 

On the surface they appear quite similar, but provided there isn’t something impacting how we read these moments (such as some people with autism), we learn that these poses mean two very different things. Two hands on your waist is a relaxed pose; one hand on your waist is an arrogant pose. At least when combined with an angry expression. One arm, the placement of her eyebrows, and suddenly Yang’s attitude towards Ozpin has radically changed. We went from casual respect to defiance, and most viewers wouldn’t need to know anything else about RWBY’s story to read that here. Her body language alone tells the story. 

Ozpin’s body language with Ruby then cues the viewer into the fact that he (supposedly) has the answers here, simply by virtue of him exuding a confidence that Ruby doesn’t possess yet. Who do you look to in a bad situation? The person screaming and running around in panic? Or the person who calmly announces that they can help, getting everyone else to calm down by keeping calm themselves? This sort of characterization is partly why the fandom grew suspicious of Ozpin early on. It’s not simply that he (on the surface) is modeled after the shady authority figure trope, but that we’ve learned from real life experience that a person’s ability to keep calm and speak eloquently doesn’t necessarily mean that they’re right. Sounding authoritative is a skill and it’s why the likes of cult leaders and dictators are so dangerous. If you just sound and look like you know what you’re doing, people have a tendency to believe you. And if you’re inclined towards critical thinking, you might be wary of the person whose demeanor is a little too polished. 

Even when Ozpin is being playful he maintains a certain level of dignity. His clothes, his physical looks, and the controlled movement of the mug—he’s not jumping around like Nora might—all remind us that Ozpin is the headmaster here and thus, though he’s making silly jokes about popcorn right now, he deserves a certain amount of respect. Even his posture speaks volumes, one arm still tucked behind his back and shoulders ramrod straight. It’s a posture that speaks of training and discipline. There’s a reason that the general (Ironwood) is always animated as standing tall with hands neatly folded and the presumably less dependable drunk (Qrow) is animated with a constantly hunched posture. How Ozpin stands is a quick and easy way to tell the viewer, “This guy is in charge. He’s powerful. He’s wise. You can rely on him.” 

All of this changes dramatically once Ozpin is thrown into Oscar’s body. Moving chronologically, it’s significant that the group is not introduced to this new Ozpin as a dignified individual. 

This is what we get later. Note the crossed legs, still good posture, even the ‘adult’ way he holds a mug. In contrast, someone younger and more childish in terms of their personality, like Ruby, tends to hold a drink with two hands and chucks it all back in a manner that would never fly at a dinner party. 

Rather than a dignified Ozpin knocking at the door, the group first encounters Oscar, someone who, like Volume 1 Ruby, can be incredibly timid and lacks in self-confidence. This isn’t the body language of a leader arriving to provide you with all the answers. 

Oscar’s slouched posture, downward gaze, wringing hands, and fearful expression all paint him as the weak one here. Made worse by the fact that he asks to see Ruby and ignites (an entirely understandable) suspicion in the group. Their first interaction is characterized by perceiving him as both a potential threat, but also one they can easily handle. We don’t like that he’s asking about Ruby, but we can take him in a fight no problem. 

And yes, this first impression makes a difference. Knowing something about someone on an intellectual level usually doesn’t trump the emotional response we have to the physical markers we’re faced with. As a non-RWBY example, let’s say you were introduced to these two characters. 

Ignoring for a moment that we’re comparing a villain and a hero, let’s say for the sake of argument that you’re told—and are provided proof—that each of these characters are morally sound, powerful adults and you should afford them with the respect they deserve. Being told that simply can’t outweigh what we see. Who are you more likely to respect? The woman who looks like a literal child named Baby Doll in a cutesy outfit, or the very old looking man in badass robes, literally named the Ancient One? All the, “But I am an adult” in the world isn’t going to convince people to read, and therefore respond to, Baby Doll in the same way they would the Ancient One. 

That’s the situation Ozpin is in now. He’s told the group that he’s Ozpin, he’s managed to prove it, but there’s always going to be a part of Ruby and the gang that doesn’t quite believe it. Not in Jaune’s literal sense of, ‘He could be lying about who he is,’ but just in a more instinctual, ‘He says he’s our headmaster, but all I see is a fourteen year old kid.’ What you see makes it really easy to ignore what you know, particularly when those two things contrast. Those markers Oscar brings to this new version of Ozpin are simply too influential and yes, that opens the door for the group to treat him with far less respect than they would in his adult form. We see it right from the start when, despite having been told that this is also Ozpin, the group coos over him in an overbearing, disrespectful manner. 

This continues even after Ozpin has taken control and is doing everything he can (those dignity markers) to regain some level of trust and respect. Even while seated and attempting to command the room as Headmaster Ozpin, Nora nevertheless undermines that with “Cute little boy Ozpin!” She has chosen to emphasize his looks over his status and notably no one listens when he says, “Please don’t call me that.”

Ozpin has, in this moment, literally been labeled as a child. A “boy.” Though we can’t be sure about what age all his hosts were when Ozpin arrived, based on Jinn’s vision it doesn’t look as if reincarnating into teenagers is common. This may even be the first time.   

Any of these past reincarnations would have been able to command more authority, simply because they’re adult men not dressed in dirty farm clothes. If this Ozpin had shown up in Haven, 

we would have gotten a very different volume. Age matters. How we perceive age matters. We saw this right in RWBY’s second episode wherein Weiss calls Ruby out on attending Beacon. 

It’s Ruby’s looks and Ruby’s looks alone that encourage Weiss to come to the conclusion, ‘You shouldn’t be here.’ The same thing has now happened to Ozpin. You look younger than us and are inhabiting a body that physically couldn’t beat us in a fight? You shouldn’t be here. You definitely shouldn’t be giving us orders. 

The group had control of Ozpin’s safe house. They were poised to interrogate him for showing up at it unannounced. Now they emphasize Oscar’s age and characteristics over his, which is ironically the only time that they emphasize Oscar’s individuality over Ozpin’s. In short, they’ve created an environment where a part of them truly believes that they’re older and more knowledgeable simply because of how Ozpin now looks, even though technically they know this isn’t true. It’s a new dynamic and with that comes the confidence to treat him like the fourteen year old stranger he “is”. I don’t believe for a moment that Yang would have ignored Ozpin’s direct questions, shot out irrational accusations, and then demanded a promise from him if he still looked the way he did at Beacon. Especially as someone who came to Haven later and therefore missed the initial proof, Yang simply doesn’t read Ozpin as Ozpin. We’ve seen how other characters interact with him from a student-teacher dynamic and it’s far more respectful. 

As this shot demonstrates, there’s also that issue of Ozpin’s size. Where as a headmaster Ozpin commanded authority by being taller than almost everyone else around him, Ozpin as Oscar immediately loses authority by being the smallest in the room. As I mentioned with Jaune and Cardin, size is an easy way to emphasize vulnerability. We quite literally couldn’t have gotten this scene if Ozpin was still 6'6" and looking twice Jaune’s age. 

In this scene Jaune honestly thinks this might be Ozpin. He’s accusing him of lying again, of claiming to leave when really he’s spying on them, or just pretending to be this kid called ‘Oscar,’ whatever. The point is that Jaune is working under the assumption that he’s interacting with his headmaster, yet that knowledge obviously doesn’t give him pause. Because Ozpin’s new look outweighs everything else Jaune knows about him. He’s angry and now suddenly Ozpin isn’t an intimidating huntsmen capable of defending himself, Ozpin is a teeny-tiny kid with no training. Jaune becomes Cardin through the realization of, “Oh. If I’m bigger and more powerful than this person, I can do whatever I want to them.” 

Ozpin’s size is an ongoing reminder that, despite possessing his own skill as well as magic, he’s in a vulnerable position. He needs to stand on the furniture in order to recreate his students literally and figuratively looking up to him, but now it just reads as a joke. 

This isn’t the first time RWBY has used size this way. Cordovin is an excellent example of how a small, non-dignified looking person is unable to maintain authority in the way someone with another appearance might. Her white hair just makes her look old rather than wise and her short stature is so extreme that it invites humor. It’s not just that Cordovin is a racist, or that her guards act like Tweedledum and Tweedledee. Her appearance immediately gave the group another excuse for why they shouldn’t listen to her. Look at this tiny old woman trying to tell us what to do. Yeah right, lady. We could probably punt you into the sun so step aside.

This is a look that makes guards release prisoners in three seconds flat. 

This is a look that encourages laughter and, by extension, a lack of respect. 

The extreme camera angle in order to make Cordovin look ‘imposing.’ The fact that she looks like a literal child next to Weiss… none of it encourages the group, or the audience, to take her seriously. Rooster Teeth made a conscious decision when they decided to animate Volume 6′s “bad guy” as an old woman with sagging breasts and an extremely small stature. 

The only time when someone that small is re-characterized as authoritative is when they’re standing up against unimaginable odds. 

Ignoring that this scene in reality is Ruby refusing to take responsibility for the crimes she is currently committing, what Rooster Teen wants this shot to do is function as an example of extreme heroism. That’s accomplished by taking our second smallest character and situating her in front of a larger-than-life mech. Ruby’s refusal to back down in the face of something so much bigger than her is (again) supposed to be inspiring. She’s standing up to Cordovin’s “bullying” in a way Oscar was unable to do with his own mech: a bigger and more threatening Jaune. 

(I really cannot express how awful Volume Six was wow). 

All of which brings me to my final point. Namely that, by virtue of his age and size, Ozpin as Oscar will always look ridiculous when attempting to make use of his former markers. Using a cane? 

Headmaster Ozpin’s age and height makes it look distinguished. Ozpin at Oscar’s age and height makes it look silly. What’s the fourteen year old doing with a cane nearly as tall as he is? (Acknowledging that this is an ableist assumption. Some fourteen year olds do need canes, but most viewers are going to question this in a way they never would with the white-haired adult). What’s the kid doing with such a fancy looking cane when he’s literally covered in dirt, bandages, rags, and badly mended clothes? That’s a silly contrast. 

Headmaster Ozpin fighting? Totally badass. One of the shortest and yet most talked about fights in the show. 

Ozpin as Oscar fighting? Still badass… if you’re willing to work for it a bit more. But really, the kid swinging a cane around just will never have the same feel as a grown man who looked like Ozpin did. 

Ozpin himself is a dignified person, but anytime he adopts those mannerisms now he looks silly at best, arrogant at worst. 

I think his look is largely why so many fans read the snow scene as him talking down to the group. He no more talked down to them here then he did when he conversed with Ruby, or Pyrrha, or the team while heading off to Mountain Glenn. The only difference is that the previous Ozpin commanded all that authority, so his warnings and criticisms held weight. This Ozpin not only doesn’t look the part of an authority figure, half his time is spent being Oscar, someone who defers to and scurries around the rest of the group. So when Ozpin tries to take charge here, everyone is far less willing to listen. People are inclined to read him as arrogant, patronizing, talking down to others, etc. because it looks like a small child giving orders to a more older, more powerful team. Even though it’s not. 

It’s the combination of everything above that leads to moments like this. Where Ozpin is smaller, more vulnerable, looks too young, too naive, where the group towers over him for once and hurts him both physically and emotionally because now they can. 

Tl;dr: Yeah. Oscar’s looks and Oscar’s personality changed things irrevocably. If Ozpin had still looked like Ozpin the group wouldn’t feel half as entitled to this behavior and gaining their respect—from ‘Please don’t address me like that’ to ‘Please understand why I kept secrets’—would be far, far easier. 

[alltingfinns]

For the July celebration of Sherlock’s Ten Year Jubilee I am continuing what I was already doing the rewatch:

“Look at you and John.” Superquickly “What about us?”

The theme of this episode is John and Sherlock being defensive about their relationship.

(Okay that is John’s theme in general, but Sherlock isn’t usually.)

Wait, did Henry and Sherlock just decide to ignore that John went off on his own? Both of them?

They do play with some classic horror staples like the scary sound with an innocent origin and jump scares.

Ohh, that sideways glance at John as he dismisses the hound, not realizing that Sherlock lied when he said he didn’t see it.

The way the scene is filmed whenever there’s a closeup of Sherlock with John in the picture almost looks like they are separated and then superimposed. Sherlock’s doubts are separating them.

Spock as a Vulcan was not free from feelings but rather constantly keeping them under check. He also claimed to be quoting an ancestor when saying that “whatever remains” quote, so a descendent of Doyle? SH is canonically fictional in the ST universe.

Getting sidetracked.

John had much better patient relation with Henry. Why did he think repeating Sherlock’s name was going to help?

John looks pissed.

“Look for the dog/woman” (I am not even attempting to write out the French) classic crime novel theme with a canine twist. Usually it’s about looking for motive though.

A bit silly that they don’t notice the man who screamed “NOTHING WRONG!” pointing at them just a minute later.

Still don’t get quite why John is so pissed before Sherlock tells him to leave him alone. Sherlock is upset and not handling it well but John takes it personally?

Maybe the emotion got to him too?

For the first time I saw “diana” in Henry’s flashback. His memory is clearing up.

All those other guys, just looky-loos? Except they came in their cars which isn’t the most discreet peeping tool out in the moor, so are they waiting their turn?

Sherlock knows John’s type but still doesn’t realize that he belongs to it.

Henry’s like “I knew I shouldn’t have gotten the ironic cable package”

“Only a nutter if you’re wrong”

Aww, even when things are rough John is more concerned with Sherlock than the case. His music even chimes in.

But here comes the party crasher.

Frankland is almost too obvious with that sabotage.

Omg! The Netflix subtitle referred to them as “sambo”! A serious couple who live together! It’s like whoever’s translating this thought there’s no point in being subtle about the “live-in PA” implications.

Yeah, no, John. Frankland may have fooled you with his schtick but he clearly knows who Henry’s therapist (and other weak points) is.

And then not at all subtly implicating Stapleton. I think someone went to the same deflecting-guilt coach as the president!

Look on the bright side John, for once the girl thought you had a thing for a guy that wasn’t Sherlock.

He really likes standing on that cliff. (When you are tall but still want to be tall.)

“Oh look you’ve got damp” is about my level of small talk.

Act eccentric enough and you can sneak out some sugar without raising questions.

Between Sherlock standing dramatically in high places and spotting John looking concerned in a cemetery...

UMQRA didn’t lead anywhere but sex.

A serious discussion about their friendship and Sherlock’s humanity in a cemetery...

Sherlock technically doesn’t insult John, he just calls him not a genius. Still doesn’t mean that John is average (or less) in intellect.

Sherlock, dear Sherlock. It really seemed more plausible to you that John was in on some Mycroft conspiracy to call Lestrade Greg, than the possibility that it is his given name?

I’m assuming this is where the mystrade ship set sail since it’s the first real connection of any kind between the characters.

Not your handler.

And again John shows his cleverness with appreciation from Sherlock.

The tenderness in “you don’t have to keep apologizing”.

Oh poor John. If you don’t take sugar in your coffee it can taste outright nasty when it’s added, especially if there’s no milk. But Sherlock just pouts the slightest bit and John weakens.

The Sherlock mirror was going to put the dog down but couldn’t.

I don’t get the denial about Sherlock being autistic when they have John mention aspergers. Of course the stigma is so strong you have plenty of people saying aspergers isn’t autism at all, which is sort of like saying hay fever isn’t pollen allergy.

It’s plot convenient that they go to Baskerville but is it just for the literally lab condition? He does analyze the sugar there.

John smiles a bit at “could be dangerous”. At this point that sentence should be engraved in their wedding rings.

I wonder what he promised Mycroft in return. “No fat jokes for a week.” “A year.” “Fine.”

You really feel for Henry.

The aerosol is dispersed in a room with the warning “Keep out! Unless you want a cold.” COVID-19 premonitions in my 2012 episode of Sherlock?

Also, how many others were unwitting test subjects?

Clearly light sensitivity is a symptom. Obviously didn’t come up in Dewer’s Hollow.

John trying to call Sherlock with the John music, ahh.

There’s almost no time between “can you see it” and Sherlock’s appearance so he must have been close by.

Sherlock has at least the morsel of decency to look guilty when John says he was wrong.

Why is everything about the bunny the absolute funniest thing?

A jellyfish!

Also Sherlock sneaking glances at John while doing lab work...

I had to look up Aequorea Victoria because I almost thought they picked it for the Victorian reference, but it is best known as a source for GFP (green fluorescent protein). They did their homework.

It may be a bit silly, but I really like the mind palace sequence.

It only works because Sherlock at some point read about CIA classified projects. I feel this is an untapped bit of his background. How much work has he done for his brother?

He figures out that Barrymore feel such a familiarity with Tatcher that he would refer to her by Maggie.

Aerosol Dispersal, how is that not what you focus on, Sherlock?

People make fun of the “top secret sweaters” but 1) people print sweaters for the silliest reasons and 2) it probably started out as a team name thing for the scientists involved before things went haywire and the project shut down. The project H.O.U.N.D. may have been a collective team name that ended up attached to the disaster. They made those sweaters thinking they were going to do a lot of other projects which they presumably didn’t.

Goddammit, Sherlock! You know a mind altering fear drug is around and you tell Lestrade to bring a gun? All John said was that Henry attacked her, although I guess he heard Louise saying gun.

There was a lot that I had no further comment on.

“Why not kill me?” “Because he needed to discredit you.”

:|

Don’t know if I’d look so relieved by the idea of dying from an explosion. But it does look like he’d rather die than face it, and he may have been tired from the secret keeping and the conspiracy upon conspiracy.

Sherlock did see why they didn’t put the dog down, but this episode in general enforces the “playing Sherlock Holmes” for John’s benefit. It’s possible that his main takeaway from their fight was that John doesn’t like him having feelings.

Ahh, I see. I guessed John figured out that Sherlock “drugged” him back when he was angry about sugar. The realization now is that Sherlock locked him in the lab.

It’s so mean and so funny. I feel bad for laughing and yet I do.

Okay here he calls John average.

John wants him to admit being wrong but Sherlock fears that he will lose John’s interest then. “Won’t happen again.”

Poop jokes! Kind of feel that was specifically to take advantage of the “go see a man about a dog”.

Wonder what’s on Moriarty’s mind?

[regretsdelusionstoughluck]

PART 3

WEDNESDAY MORNING

While Damon was online looking for odd jobs he noticed an add for dancers needed. He’s had a stripper license since he was 19 and used this as a means for extra money when not deployed. He sent this to Oliver in an email prior to calling him on his way to the pharmacy.

“Morning”

“Check out the email”

As he pulled out his iPad, he saw the email

“What the fuck is this?”

“Strippin....you already do way more,  plus a bachelorette party would get you a killing. I used to dance at a few of them when I was home”

“Got anything else?”

“Banquets, I know a lot of companies. I can send you a list of catering companies you could do work for. What you got going on right now?”

“Laying on the couch, going into the office”

[Really? That’s the best you got? What part of “I want out of this life do you not understand?]

While he wasn’t thrilled about it, he took some time to think about t and he realized that bachelorette parties are for the entertainment value and he did keep his body in shape. However, didn’t want his current situation to mirror that of “The Players Club”.

Oliver got up from the couch to fix himself an omelette while continuing to talk. “Yo, I got you on speaker phone, doing some stuff in the kitchen”

“Man, remember when we were young and we would see vacationers out here, we vowed that one day it would be us taking trips with our families?”

“I do, and when I look at where I’m at, I think to myself “What the actual fuck?”

[We were lied to. In 2008, when we were in high school, we were told to go to college. That it was the ticket to a successful life. What they didn’t tell us is that the economy would tank. They didn’t go cover any alternatives. They never went over the cost of living and the fact that people here are working three jobs. I should have seen this with my own parents. Dad worked for the state and then worked as a janitor in the evenings. Mom still works as a financial aid officer at a state college. The preparation sucked. What the fuck am I gonna use creative writing for? Why was that in school?]

He cut the conversation short to eat his breakfast and get a shower in before work. Afterwards, he ironed a pair of pants and a golf shirt and heaved to the office where the direction informed him and Claudia:

“I have a project for the two of you. Our event is coming up at the mall. You two are going to be drawing outlines to these animal pieces on the construction poet right there. We’re expecting about 200 kids”

“No problem” Oliver said looking at the green construction paper in front of him

“It’ll be a breeze” Claudia assured him as she took a pair of scissors and the elephant trunk and demonstrated. 

“So it’s like build a bear type of think but with other animals but they’re decorating their bags with them. That’s cute”

“Yeah, so are you gonna go to the career fair next week”

“The one at the convention center?”

“Yea, I heard there’s going to be several companies there.”

[Resume-FEMA, fucking, and non-profit]

“I plan on it. Do you know if any government agencies are gonna be there? I couldn’t find a roster anywhere”

“Not sure”

They continued working while talking about goals and aspirations when he noticed an alert on her phone. Knowing the conference due to getting the same alert an hour earlier, he asked her how she knew about it? Somewhat embarrassed, she snapped “What are you doing looking at my phone?!”

“I merely glanced over!” he exclaimed before taking her aside and confessing to being involved in the worlds oldest profession “I hate it. One would think attractive people and pleasure but there’s no real live and frankly it feels like a modern version of slavery. I can’t get a decent date to save my life”

After a moment of silence, she admitted that she was a phone sex operator and that she worked in evenings. “I have a friend who also is in high class escorting”

“High class?”

“Let’s talk about it later? How about we meet for a drink after work? We need to get a bit more of this done.”

Meanwhile, Damon was scouting on the web when his eye caught the attention of a webcam modeling website.

 He though about his current life and how he’d mange to file his taxes. He normally got a 1090 at the end of the year. He also though about the repercussions of this and the thought that the clientele could  be from his local area. He had a flashback to being deployed in Germany where he and some buds where in a night club, partying surrounded by beautiful women. “We are like royalty!”  He thought about a conversation he had with his peer about wanting to serve for eight years and then retire and start college. Little did he know that half way though that time frame that he’d suffer a back injury along w/ PTSD from witnessing the death of a friend at the hands of a grenade.

He applied for work with multiple agencies and thought about how he could sporadically work vs checking in daily. With webcam modeling he could set his own schedule. With that in mind he decided to text Oliver.

“Who was that?”

“My friend Damon”

“So about how long have you with with this company?”

“About six months. I’m trying to start grad school”

They chatted while filing paperwork. They talked about politics, racial issues, economic issues, and the like. Claudia made for good company. She graduated with two degrees. She majored in English Education and Journalism and worked as a teacher’s aide for a period. She was tired of the work with virtually no pay. She responded to an add. Currently she works for a phone sex. One has seen the commercials late at night. She’s one of them. Definitely more conventional than Oliver’s current job. 

As he was getting ready to eat lunch, she Claudia asked him if he wanted to eat while they worked. “Sure” he said as he went to grab his lunch out of his bag. 

“We work with several schools in their special ed departments”

“What do y’all do?”

”We will be finalizing contracts for events mainly. But we do outreach and after school programs on social etiquette and speech practices our goal is to  help those with autism be as integrated into society as possible” Noticing Oliver’s garden salad, she asked him “you health conscious?”

“Yep. Grew up like that. My parent’s rarely fried anything, but they didn’t ban them from the house. My mom was always big on vitamins and drinking plenty of water. I practice that today, to keep things under control. Being a diabetic, I have to watch it.”

Shocked at the revelation she asked him when he was diagnosed. He was diagnosed at 6 years old.

“I’m trying to lose weight, but I find myself emotionally eating more than I should”

Trying to avoid saying anything that could be interpreted as offensive, he simply said that he had his days too, hence the reason he goes to the gym six days/week, doing a combination of cardio and weights. After they finished eating lunch, they cut more construction paper and bagged it. They filed folders away for about an hour when Oliver signed out.”See you tomorrow?”

“You’ll see me in a couple of hours.”

The sun was beaming as Oliver drove home. He rolled down his window and plugged his phone in to have some music playing. He checked the mail and saw the electric bill was in. “Shouldn’t be this much” he said “I’m never home”

He checked his email as well as his escorting profile receiving three request including one overnight stay. Booking these trips back to back, he thought about his weekly check at $8.75/hr at 25 hrs per week along w/ the money from the three client’s that he’d earn. He’d have enough to pay his final payment on his only student loan and to pay his car note.

He kicked off his shoes to give his feet some air and called his mom.

[I’m being nice. This place is a shithole, in fact the only reason my unit isn’t laden with roaches is because I frequently buy those foggers and then I have to open the damn windows and door risking my shit being stolen. Also, Bengal and Boric Acid along the cracks and corners have done wonders.]

He looked up and realized that it was time to meet Claudia. He traded in his work outfit for a pair or black cargo shorts, a zero-nineteen tank top from K-Mart, and a pair of flip-flops and headed out. He got in the truck, turned the air on and arrived to the bar 20 minutes later. Locating Claudia at a table in the bar area we walked in to meet her when the waiter took their drink order.

[She’s a pharmacy tech and she still needs to be a lady of the evening by night? I’m fucked-literally and figuratively]

She advised him to update his profile to include massages and casual dates at a lower rate. While they were talking, A woman walks up, dark skin, about 5′9, in her mid 20s. She spotted Claudia and walked in the sit next to her.

“Hey chick!”

“Hey!”

“Hello, I’m Aya, how are your doing?” she said as she reached out to shake Oliver’s hand

“Oliver, I’m good. How about you?”

“So this is the guy? He’s cute”

“He’s taken”

“Actually I’m very available”

After ordering a drink, she begin to explain to Oliver how she got into her current part time job.  “I started off escorting however a client of mine introduced me to a coworker of his that owned a matchmaking service. I showed up to a mixer I went out on one date. I never saw the guy again afterwards. That said, he did mention to me that he had utilized services where one would rent a dates for events. I eventually branched off and begin advertising on craigslist and the like.”

“So do you still...….you  know?”

“Sporadically, but that’ll cost extra.”

Later that night, he decided to update his profile w/ additional services offered. He decided to try out a couple of speed dating events himself. He might even snap a client or two.  Perhaps, he’d been looking in the wrong places, maybe it was time for more upscale social functions. His current evening work was not a glamorous job and frankly it was quite dangerous. 

[Prostitution can be traced back as far as biblical times. Not a new profession and it’s a profession that’s always been available for the money. Sometimes, we use it to pay off a loan or some sort of debt. For others, it’s the love of sex. Some just like the temporary luxury that comes with being one’s bitch. Me? I’d like nothing more than to settle down. I know there’s a way. It may take a while to find it, but I refuse to have THIS be my stop.]

STORY SYNOPSIS

CHARACTERS

PART 4 TO FOLLOW