#but its really funny either way lol
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uhhhhbbhhhhh shitty art dump cuz i kinda hate posting art individually 👍
#and by that i mean i just feel worse abt not tagging things when its just one drawing#and also i feel like the rambling is more proportional to the amount of art#<- what the fuck am i even saying#scribbles#ocposting#gif#outfits in the gif r from some outfit memes ive had saved in my photos since like 2020 btw#i think the creators username was like hometownrockstar or some shit i dont really remmeber#the images are super crusty idk why theyre like that but its funny to me so idrc#some of these r ocs some are existing characters But Furries#and also suitcase is there lol#outfit in the fourth image is based on fleetway amy…..#idk what to say abt these sorry#again ive been like weirdly embarrassed abt the shit i draw as of late it sucksssss#especially cuz i know no one actually gives a shit either way. but my brain still wants to give me shit over it -_-#is that smthn ppl say idfk anymore#bright colors#eyestrain#ALMOST FORGOT TO TAG#kinda just in the second to last one i think but yea
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#my mom has been ranting about my weight for like 3 days straight lol#I'm 217 lbs yes I'm overweight but like#the things she says make everyone else uncomfortable too and I wish it didn't#i don't think me being thinner would actually fix any problems#she's always just found something to nitpick#it's always really really funny when i tell her i haven't actually put on any weight in years#i've actually maintained my weight without gaining for several years now#which is kinda an achievement on its own#i've not lost any but i don't gain either#and that's cause i work hard to at least a lot of the times monitor what i eat and i do work out#not as much as i should or used to but still#i gently reminded her today that i did have a personal trainer and nutritionist and it didn't really help#that's not for my lack of effort either i really worked my butt off#and then i got an injury and that ended things#but even then I think i lost maybe 5 lbs total not a lot#and even my trainers were like hmmmm#my body just doesn't shed it#so whatever#i'm a very body positive person! my mom doesn't affect me dw :)#i'm jus saying it's annoying#nothing frustrates her more than the fact i'm comfortable and don't have body dysmorphia the way she does so it's 100% her projecting
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I find it just hilarious how my mother will go all like "how can parents of disabled people not care to understand other disabled people". While she has a child with ADHD who she payed to get formally diagnosed (by that I mean she knows), and never ever bothered to search the symptoms.
#i mean she didn't even know poor time management was a thing#but its even in the shittiest symptom list#she probably thinks I have ADD lol#actually adhd#adhd#disabilities#ableism#tw ableism#i say hilarious cause how else would I react#i feel like there are other ways#like when something bad happens I just crack up laughing#ppl look at me and think im crazy#at the end I don't even cry#I for some reason genuinely find it all funny#I had a math test these days and at the end half of class was crying. I was laughing my ass off.#they probably thought I was either mean (and smart af) or really crazy#venting
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me when im obsessed with dead singers from 50 (well... mostly 70-120) years ago and im heartbroken to know i'll never see them on stage... never hear them breathe, never see them sweat, never even touch the hem of their garment...
it really is enough to drive a person mad...
#this is so funny because this is the one vaguepost that i wholeheartedly 100% agree with skdhsjshsjdhsn#like yeah!! it does indeed pain me that the level of operatic singing has so drastically decreased over the last 50 years!#that top operatic stars of today are all either nasal or wobbly or knödely or completely inaudible without microphones#but some of yall are just not ready for this conversation. example a#anyway. as many have said before. its kinda easier to understand how some people cant appreciate certain operas#if they never heard them sung well lol#sorry im out of blood today. i know this is a very uncomfortable subject for many but.#you can actually judge someone's singing in a pretty objective way. there are nuances of course. but from a technical point of view#it really is pretty simple#(also its not like i dont enjoy *some* modern singers lol have you SEEN my kwiecień posting???? lmao#hell. there are even some modern singers i have a soft spot who i KNOW sing... Not Very Well. but i enjoy them lol#not many ofc but. yknow)#also 50 years ago would be the 1970s if im doing my maths correctly and. that is really the point in opera history#when it all started going downhill (sadly partly because of one of my all time favourite singers' influence... but thats a different story)#anyway. remember when luis tetrazzini said that the future generations of singers will be The Best singers in history#because they'll have access to all those recordings of The Greats Of The Past that they'll be able to listen to and learn from?#lmao queen you were right about so many things but that was tragically not one of them </3#opera tag#yes im stirring the pot of boiling liquid shit and putting this post gently into the main tag#*luisA tetrazzini ofc#lol and lmao im out FOR blood* shdgsjsghs
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Honestly though I think it’s really a bad sign when I look at Shin Tsukimi and literally feel like he’s a self insert 😩
#the klock keeps ticking#yttd#i wanna replay yttd so bad but i also like Gotta play other stuff with the time i have akskks#but yeah the brainrot this specific character has given me idk if I ever really talked about it but it was BAD#i like obsessively played the game in like 3 days and it was not a good idea lol but just like shin#i had to take like a week to recover from this guy cuz i couldnt stop thinking about him and how hes just like me fr#first off just the very inconsistent personality hes got going on that is very me he has these different personalities he wears to cope with#all the traumatic shit happening hes both so helpless its comical and so manipulative its terrifying#and idk its really interesting how like good and bad he is at being manipulative like hes very smart and can analyze weaknesses and lie so#good not even he knows the truth but hes also grasping at straws he doesnt think things through at all#like the second main game he just didnt prepare at all hes fumbling his way through everything its going so bad#he just wants to go home he wants to outdo the game makers but hes being used by them so bad he wants it to STOP#and its just the way that like. it hits so hard cuz you know hes really not a bad person not at all he doesnt want any of this hes just#being horribly manipulated and doing whatever he can to survive but its also really scary how#well hes able to lie and manipulate and claw his way through but hes also weaker than a grade schooler#and you never forget that either and as much as he cheated his way through he still failed it was all just a cheap trick in the end#and all of this hits very hard like his personality is eerily similar to mine and just the way he thinks and acts#cuz im the same like im weak and a dweeb who likes funny cats but im also emotionally detached and observant and selfish#but where it hits the hardest is his relationship with midori like oooof that one was too real just like#the first person who was ever his friend was horribly abusive and treated him like a child and didnt respect any boundaries#and he just got sick pleasure out of seeing shin be upset and he was like. a groomer#and shin was fucking relieved when he died but also kept his scarf and adopted his personality to survive#and still goes by sou after ch2 and the scene that gets me the most is when shin ai is asked about his relationship with midori#and you can just SEE how horrified shin is because his deepest shame his abuse is being shared to everyone without his consent#and hes reliving it all in that moment and literally seeing who he used to be experiencing the abuse#he just curls into himself and like covers his ears and pulls his hair thats literally what i do AAAAAA#im just so grateful for the direction they took this character kokichi ouma wishes he was shin tsukimi so bad#and yeah just like damn. its scary how similar i am to shin like damn i really am going through it huh oof#I LOVE HIM I LOVE HIM I WILL DEFEND HIM WITH MY LIFE HE DID ALL OF THAT STUFF YOUR HONOR BUT LISTENNNN#have you considered that hes cute and smart and weird and maybe just needs friends who arent assholes
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haha so relatable goodnight 🛌🏾
#(if you see me reblogging grim fanfic...no you dont)#xyx is my fav now sorry nightowl lol#hes really doing it for me#he has a very very nice voice#like affecting my [redacted] nice#and the mans funny#i love goofing in the gc with the chaotic fun character (who is struggling with heavy shit on their own)#....its either gonna be him or toasty who is number one#but i havent done toastys route yet so we will see#honestly the way i kinda understood their ffxiv talk...#maybe i can be a gamer guys#blooming panic
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Simon petrikov they could never make me hate you
#jontalks#i still think its really funny that i think im the only person that#after like sitting down and letting the finale process in my head for a whole week#went yknow what? i get it about simons actions in the last two episodes#because you sit down and think about and its like...yeah man i get why you acted like that tbh#idk its like#something something when a character is given a aspect to them that is bad that you cant defend ppl are so quick to either#demonize the character or try to find a way to call it ooc#and its like when you really think about the few glimpes we get of simon in the og show its like#no him having like..those issues really does make sense LOL#sorry youre sweet kind simon with no flaws boring fanon yall built in your heads died but i#find his character alot more interesting with the added issues he has LOL#simon petrikov they could never make me hate you simon petrikov#this is the obly time i will talk about my fnc thoughts on main because some of you people are stupid and insane
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i ❤ not proxying. whos talkin? bitch fuck if i know!
#matrix.txt#honestly should probably start signing off on posts with that more often. im not confident its Always Me#either way. 👍#also sometimes we are simply too lazy to proxy lol! like damn i dont have the timeee to write my name before the text i have to send.#i (bass) only do it when i think im gonna be REALLY funny and want the credit.#anyw dont assume you know whos talkin if u talk to us bc chances are!! we dont either.
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Every now and then I replay the first episode of VLD and I wonder why I thought it be a good show lol
#mostly just the part where Allura is assigning pilots to lions#why lol. the first five people who show up are just perfect fits?? hate it lol#i have no au plot ideas but itd have made more sense to draw out the forming of voltron. like for a longer time. like its the s1 finale#and to be traveling looking for appropriate pilots#or the s2 finale? like what if the original gang somehow stayed in contact despite not being Voltron paladins and they proved being the best#team despite not piloting immediately. i feel like a stronger plot of their forming teamwork outside of being Voltron would have also made#their friendships seem more real too lmao#like what if Lance IS Blue's pilot bit hes the only one for a long time. the other lions couldn't actually *just be* located#*but. not bit. and what if Pidge runs off in a stolen vessel to find her dad and brother. what if Shiro isnt.. so flat as a character and is#desperate to find his old team and runs off with them to help out and free others#Keith could somehow get involved with The Blades a lot sooner#and Hunk finds his footing as a leader in rebellion organization. i hate that he was just the funny guy allll the way thru#also (still not a plot bc my brain is unorganized lol) Allura doesnt die. Shiro actually gets to be gay with a husband. and we either need#to not make Lotor a villain or just go all out on making him the worst. i personally dont want him to be a villain bc it was stupid lol#also PULEEEAASE Lance is bi. Lance “I'm just getting a feel for the stick” *obsessed with his rival who doesnt even know he exists* McClain#i want to see him get over his crush on Allura within like 6 episodes and then see him making out with the mermaids then Keith when everyone#starts reuniting lol. my bicon Lance deserves to kiss mermaids like we all do and then get on when the otp lol#now im nostalgic for s1 VLD vibes. ya know. before hell lol#it really just gets worse after ... s3? everyone feels different. i usually tolerate up to about the end of s3 before i feel like its donezo#aunt posting#vld#voltron: legendary defender
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I figured it out. It makes sense. Do not worry.
#wacky watermelons#my god. i really just like. lost it for 30 min and then remembered that tumblr exists and immediately figured it out#waving. hi hi hiii melody and fish and every one else i know working on maple ridge o///#i want to apologize for my memory just completely swallowing up a whole ass thing you guys put together#and also for immediately deleting the posts i made about me loosing my mind trying to figure it out#id like to say its funny now. but only i remember it.#either way it is a project im very interested in even outside of it being something yall are doing#i know this because i was actually spinning it really fast in my head for a while there#like a bayblade#now im spinning it slower. actually taking in the details lol :]!
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literally all i am irl is something for people to make fun of LOL
#but then if you ask them to stop you get made fun of for asking them to stop making fun of you#literally everything about me is funny apparently! the way i just. exist. or even my pain or sadness. because im not a human being ig#i feel like i cant take myself seriously like i dont deserve that the way other people do#and i feel like i cant trust that anyone would want to get to know me on a serious level or that the people who i#am close to online would have ever gotten that close to me if they knew me irl#i feel like they wouldn't. i feel like they would've just made fun of me too#its not just my family either. school and work have proven that#i just really hate being me LOL thinking about how unworthy of respect i apparently am makes me want to die#like. genuinely. maybe they'd take me seriously then#personal#cw vent
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God im... Probably too nice but it's fine
#miranda talking shit#I wanted to talk about a thing but...noticed quickly that they were not in a good mood/mindset so ofc i didnt even bring it up#I mean the talk was good anyway. I think he... Needed that. We talked about feelings and how to handle them#And at one point he stopped and turned to me and went 'that thing you said about getting another perspective on it... Thats smart. Thats#A very good idea. Im going to try that' not like im good at dealing with emotions. But i try to and that's a thing i know have helped me at#Times. Discussed our goals/dreams and well... I cant agree with his or understand it at all but as long as he thinks thats what he wants#Then im not going to argue. Love how he always drone on about he doesn't care about anyone or what anyone thinks but still wants to hear#What i think. I told him that was funny to me. Bc imo one doesnt ask about something one doesn't care about or have any interest in...#He's been a lot more... Curious about what i think about things and its fun. Personally im just fairly weak in my opinions. Not many things#I think are worth fighting over or arguing over tbh. So im used to just listening and nodding. But that may annoy the shit out of him lmao#That might be why he asks me about my opinion bc im so quiet and passive . But yeah very interesting to discuss#Mainly bc i havent heard anyone have that kind of opinion and goal of their own so it was fun?#But yeah ngl i love hearing people say im wise or smart. Bc i obviously dont hear that often. So when i do im like ah ... Thank you 😭#Its bc im not book smart but i guess im emotionally smarter or whatever. In general i just enjoy making people think about other perspectiv#Bc i always do that and enjoy it. Think many are unintentionally stuck in their own way of seeing things and everything become so black and#White. To me the world isnt . I wish it was but no everything is gray with many shades lol#Also me doing and example: 'i dont think everything is your fault oliver. I think its my own'#Oliver serious: yeah well i dont think its your fault either Miranda.' i almost cried like... He didn't have to say that i was obviously#Doing an example and joking ? But he still ... Said that and im like...thabk you for reassuring me...#And he really went 'i fought hard to be the one that came by here today. It was going to be another guy which me and magnus hate. So i#Fought hard to be able to come here instead' and im like 🥺... Thank you... I wasnt there to fight but thank you for doing that...#I mean im guessing he also enjoys our conversations so i dont think it was a selfless thing but it made me happy :')#If i could have any say I'd basically only have magnus and oliver come by me but i know thats not how it works but it made me happy that he#Went out of his way to get it changed. I need to thank him again next time... At least he seemed to be a little lighter leaving than when#He came. So i hope our discussion was a bit helpful at least. Something had happened and i asked him if he wanted to talk about it#And he said no first and then 'maybe. We'll see' which to me is major bc uh.... He usually dont ever talk about anything happening actively#To me. Usually he comes and shares it 6 month later or something. So... Trust increase? I hope im rubbing off on him in healthier mental#Ways. Considering he's gone from saying nothing about himself to trauma dumping ... I guess something has changed. God i just#Want to pick his brain about everything for real. He has such diffrent values and priorities than im used to and anyone i know have. I love#Hearing all about it. Ive told him before but if we didn't meet through this... Unusual way. We'd never would have naturally. And if we did
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Actually cry so goddamn hard when I think about Shinjiro Aragaki healing and being loved and having to learn to be okay with himself and being taken care of
#writing him has just been like. OOOOWOEOEOEOOE i piss tears i cant handle this shit this gay ass shit#i came up with an idea for just like a cute short one shot i wanna do soon and hnnnghh im so emo about it#very healing its like very hard to write some of the shit im gonna be writing cuz basically#some of it is just a little too real man and while i crave the angst and the drama i am just like#AND THEN EVERYONE HOLDS HANDS AND ITS OKAY PLEASE DONT CRY PLEASE#and ive mentioned how shinji has accidentally become nb to me now because i just kinda happened to write him that way without meaning to#and now another thing im noticing is that in my fic hes kinda bpd coded#it definitely wasnt intentional but now im accepting it as truth no one can stop me#i just really need him to be happy its more important to me than anything else man i need it for me#and he needs to be gay with aki they need to kissy and i think its funny cuz even in the parts where shinji is mad at aki and pushing him#away its like. he kinda has it bad lol and its clear he feels no actual hatred towards aki but more just self deprecation because he doesnt#feel good enough and like idk i just think about their respective roles in society like#aki is an honor student star boxer hero very attractive very kind very popular got adopted by a rich family#hes going places you know meanwhile shinji is a drop out who never had a family ever hes homeless hes sketchy hes on drugs#his reputation couldnt be any worse and he just leans into it and feels he has no future and hes worthless garbage#and aki could literally have anyone he wants you know he has an army of girls pining over him but he doesnt want them#HE WANTS SHINJI AND NO ONE ELSE HE SPENDS YEARS CHASING AFTER HIM#and shinji HATES it hes trying so hard to push him away and be the crusty delinquent and make aki see how worthless he really is#but aki just doesnt stop he loves him so much makes me sick SICK#and shinji really loves him back hes like not gonna shut up ever about aki hes like either doing it in a gay ass annoyed way#or hes like ‘haha omg aki is so cute though hes always trying so hard to be tough but hes just so sweet and gentle you know i hope he#doesnt push himself too hard if he got hurt id fall apart hes so silly i hope hes eating good i desire him carnally’#yeah sorry gamers this is just a pairing i cant be normal about they mean so much to me personally the fate of the world rests upon them
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okay um. genuine question. how do you differentiate romantic attraction from really really strong platonic attraction
#WHY IS THIS SO HARD#ive been romantically attracted to people before. i should know what it feels like. but god its hard to figure it out#just. there's this girl. we've been friends for years and i love her dearly. she means the world to me.#back in like 7th grade she admitted she was crushing on me but at the time i didnt feel the same bc i was still getting over a breakup#but we stayed really close friends. and now im confused because now I might be the one crushing on HER like 4 years later#i. cant tell if its romantic or not. like we've been friends for so long that i genuinely cannot tell if this is just a normal -#- progression in a friendship that's lasted this long or if the change in feelings is romantic#i love her a lot. i dont know if its platonic or not but i love her either way and we're friends first and foremost.#just... the idea of me dating anyone freaks me out in general bc commitment is kind of scary lol. but the idea of dating her doesn't -#- freak me out nearly as much as it normally would. it sounds like it would be nice if i didn't have my own personal fears over it.#she's so sweet and really really funny and i love her smile and her hair and her laugh#i love how enthusiastic she is about her projects and i love how she shows me her questionable impulse buys even when they're REALLY -#- embarrassing and i love when she rambles about the specs of the pc she wants to build even though i don't understand it#i love when we go places and our stupidity multiplies in each others presence and everything becomes infinitely more entertaining and funny#i love how she's rarely ever genuinely judgemental of me or my bullshit#i just. really really really love her. i can't tell if it's because we're friends or if it's cus my feelings have changed but i love her -#- either way. im realizing now though that its probably not normal to get crazy flustered while typing out some things you love about a -#- friend so. that's confusing. anyways send help because my entire face feels hot
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some day i will actually finish all my half finished cover projects instead of getting distracted and starting a new one., some day .
(propose by naisho no pierced, svp made from the midi they provided lol)
#vocal synth wip#synthv#genbu lite#sorry i like. inexplicably fell head over heels for genbu both his fucked up lite and his actual bank#how do i explain that i love genbu Because i think he kinda sucks without pissing off both genbu fans and genbu haters#actually thats not fair his full bank seems decent and out of the volor voices hes not That Bad#he sounds a little worse quality than eleanor (who is personally not my taste but shes solid despite that)#but hes not quite renri level or anything (and i say that will all the love in my heart for synthv renri <3 <3 <3)#(although shes free so i cant get too mad either way LOL)#(but genbu was also the first male bank we got for synthv so i cant get too mad at him either <3 hes an old man)#but like. he sounds like a decent but slightly glitchy utau bank. and his lite sounds like a REALLY glitchy utau bank HJKDSHKds#listen. i havent been able to use utau in forever because i had gotten a new computer a few years back#and i didnt wanna break anything by switching locales so i havent been able to install it orz#and im still struggling to wrap my head around openutau.....i'll get there. i'll get there someday#but genbu and especially his fucked up lite is kinda scratching that itch you know#like his lite is apparently based off his higher range and not his mid range? so thats why hes always fucking YELLING#thats so so funny to me i love that he sounds so odd. fucked up little robot man who screams and whispers randomly#lemme tell u working with his lite specifically. i imagine this isnt a problem on his full because u have all the ranges#but the lite since its one range you have to FIGHT HIM to get him to either stop yelling or speak up HGKDHJds#its wonderful. i love a project
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decided to check the # for the newest hanako chapter on twitter none of you get itttt
#but it's really funny to see so!#cannibalism has been a running theme in the manga guys cmon#person w rhythm game guy pfp like 'i don't know why they thought this would be a good idea' brother this is a horror manga?#its also not the first time something like this happened c'mon#'aidairo wouldn't' have you read the hell of mirrors arc#'they shouldve clarified that this love could not happen or just make it really clear that it wasnt romantic' 😭😭😭#i don't 'ship' them either lol but if you wanted nice unproblematic stuff you should've dropped this manga on like chapter 3#like everyone else did#people calling it irredeemable media is already funny on its own but the way the fanbase is also Like This is so wild to me#every time i see some kid on the tag being like omg amane is so handsome 😍 im like i don't know you but you probably can do better#'remember when this was a manga about a girl trying to get her crush to like her back' IM IN TEARSSSS#that was....... literally only in chapter 1...........#in which she realizes she doesn't really like said crush...............#like i'd say it gets Serious as early as chapter 9???#(funnily enough id say that's where kou's conflict truly starts. a protagonist)#there is a homophobic hate crime in chapter 19??? it shouldn't take you too long to realize this is not a comedy help me#but like yeah help there Is a reason why all the cutesy romance moments that people redraw for aus n stuff happen during chapters 1 to 8#because the rest is Plot Relevant#ok ending my rant here ♥#if u read til here ily#i used to think hanako fans should take a reading comprehension test beforehand but at this point ive accepted its a lost cause#jbksh#mar's midnight rambles
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