#but legit he’s on my top list of re characters that would be the best with a disabled so

[gale-gentlepenguin]

Gale’s Top 10: My Favorite episodes of ML

With Season 4 now finished I can give my definitive favorite episode list. I will say there has been quite a shake up since the last time I wrote this up. So this will be something quite interesting.

1. This is my opinion, so you can feel free to agree or Disagree with this list.

2. I would love to hear your favorite episodes. Let me know in the comments or make your own lists.

3. Two parters will be included as 1 entry for the sake of the list

10. Darkowl

My favorite episode of season 2. This was such a fun episode. The principal of the school went from a joke to a legit threat that ALMOST WON! The reason for akumatization was brutal and completely understandable. Ladybug and chat noir were honestly trying to help the poor guy who wanted to be a hero. This was also the moment tikki and Plagg found out about the OTHER chosen, which Plagg’s reaction says it all.

Now In truth this episode is still pretty barebones, but I think it still holds up well and it has a great balance of action and comedy. It is the season 1 episodes perfected. And I cant get enough of it

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9. Gabriel Agreste

This episode of season 4 has the second best pacing out of the entire season. It acts as the return of Felix (who demonstrates why he is the most competent individual in the room) We also get a lot more insight into how Gabriel thinks and feels about things.

The weakest part of it is actually the parts involving Marinette and the group. Sure the fairy tale artwork was cool and the return of Marino was a barrel of laughs. It just felt more like just have a reason to have them there.

But outside of that, this episode really gave the tone shift on how Gabriel was gaining the edge on Ladybug and how things were not gonna be so simple going forward.

8. Glaciator 2.0

I originally had this higher but re-examining the episode. I think this is the best spot for it.

Another episode of season 4. Great for scratching that MARICHAT ITCH. But I think there is so much more to it. I think this is a great insight on how Adrien really thinks and feels about his love of Ladybug. We see how adrien views his Father's take on love as something he doesnt want for himself. He was indeed ready to move on or try to for the sake of going forward.

Now this episode is divisive because people often say either

1. Ladybug was too harsh on Chat noir

or

2. They take the episode to mean Chat noir was some sort of creep.

I think the truth is that Ladybug was a bit harsh, but in an understandable manor. I think Chat noir did cross the line about teasing her and Ladybug's response while over the top wasnt entirely negative.

I do think the ending specifies perfectly how its a matter of boundaries. Which I think is a good lesson for kids to have. Chat noir and Ladybug actually did some communicating here and Chat noir never wanted to make Ladybug uncomfortable with his feelings (Which is something VERY IMPORTANT to explain to both kids and the salters here)

Anyway the best scene was when Marinette and Chat noir got to be vulnerable with eachother.

___________________________________________________________ 7. Evillustrator

My favorite akuma of season 1. Evillustrator. I LOVED this episode and for the longest time I would consider it my favorite. Though as time went on, a lot of episodes did what this one did but better (Other episodes had darker themes, more tragic villains, more marichat). But at the time this was a stand out episode, and it really delved into the more dark themes of akumatization, and how despite being made into villains, they were still people. I also just love the eng dub of him in this.

I think this episode is what made me stay with ML for longer. It was this episode that made me see it as something special.

That being said, I HIGHLY recommend the manga chapters for this one. The manga is actually better than the episode.

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6. Truth

The episode that made me see Luka as a character. That is despite the treatment of him in previous seasons and the toxic stans of his. So that in itself is a testament to how well done this season opener was.

It had a LOT of work to do after Miracle Queen. (Which I felt was one of the worst endings of an episode period).

This episode made Luka a character and not just a replacement. It gave Marinette and Luka chemistry and the ending was done tastefully.

Also this is my fav akuma design of season 4 aside from Qilin.

The episode also establishes how Shadowmoth will be acting and how Ladybug/Marinette is still picking up the pieces.

Lies also does something similar with Adrien and Kagami. But I felt Truth did more and stood out as its own thing.

Truth just had more suspense and the akuma was cool.

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5.Oblivio

Now this is the episode that kept me from dropping ML during season 3.

Up until this episode aired, I felt season 3 was... well it was lacking something. It just felt like a continuation of season 2 with less charm.

But this episode was both a season 3 episode and yet not one.

To put into perspective, the akuma wiped their memories and Marinette and Adrien have to figure out what is going on.

We see something that we had yet to see.

Marinette and Adrien at their core.

Like we got a brief stint of what they were like in Origins. But here, we see the kind of people Adrien and Marinette are without their inhibitions, insecurities, and overall pressures.

We see that they are good caring people that want to do whats right even when they dont remember.

But of course the main thing we get to see. Why Adrien and Marinette are made for eachother. They were drawn to eachother. Both knowing instinctively to trust one another, support eachother. They even assumed they were both in love with eachother.

Though some of it is heartbreaking when its revealed how they dont actually know eachother's identities.

It was an episode that reminded me why I was so drawn to their relationship. Because they are always ready to support eachother.

I also will admit that this episode didnt strike as high before as I found that this episode was all but filler.

But it is still a nice episode to return to, and also a great episode to introduce others to in order to get them invested in the series

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4. Chat Blanc

The episode that changed everything. And My favorite episode of season 3

This episode is what separated Season 3 from Season 2. It was an episode that impacted Ladybug. It was the biggest threat Marinette/Ladybug ever faced.

To put into perspective, Chat Blanc could have destroyed the universe. No reboot. No restart. Just destroyed.

The thing is, this episode originally was much darker and a Two-Parter. I imagine if this episode was a two parter it would have been my favorite.

The heartbreaking clash between Ladybug and Chat noir.

Seeing how the world of Chat Blanc became how it was. It was the darkest the show had ever gotten and probably will ever get.

Though this episode isnt without flaws. For one, the episode doesnt pay off until late season 4. The pacing for it is pretty all over the place, and the resolution at the end didnt seem as satisfying.

Chat Blanc is my favorite akuma of all time. And his powers, actions and fight are still on a level that if the rest of season 3 was on, it would have been the best season overall.

Also, we get to see Marinette with her hair down for the first time and yes. It is wonderful.

_____________________________________________________________

3. Gang of Secrets

My second favorite episode of Season 4.

This was Marinette at her second lowest point in the series.

Yes even lower than in Miracle queen and Truth.

At this point Marinette felt more isolated then ever. She wasnt sharing with Chat noir (which we see later on is due to the trauma of Chat Blanc), she was distancing herself from family and friends.

It was Marinette's friend Alya that had to burst through those barriers. Proving to Ladybug and Marinette she could be trusted.

The ending scene in which Marinette confesses she is ladybug to Alya is one of the most powerful scenes in the show. It was a level of vulnerability that really shows how deep their friendship goes.

Also the akuma fight despite simply being multiple of old akuma was a delight and an interesting combo seeing how they worked together. It was Like the Punishment trio but better.

I think they do have the multiple akuma at once this season maybe one too many times. But in this case I find it was fresh and I enjoyed it here.

Also Alya being the first person to break akumatization of her own free will was amazing.

_____________________________________________________________

2. Origins Part 1 and 2

This is a shock for me because I didnt think anything would dethrone Origins from its top spot (Mainly Part 2 and the Umbrella scene)

So this is where it all started. Unlike with most shows, I think Origins is best viewed right before starting season 2.

These two episodes show Adrien and Marinette as individuals, why they were chosen and how they both grew to become the iconic duo.

Marinette struggled with it, adrien embraced it, Both gaining things they never had before.

I also love how originally Marinette actually disliked Adrien. That was an unexpected twist. She assumed he was just like Chloé, which made me question how Marinette went from not giving Adrien the time of day to being in love with him? Felt like such a change.

But then the umbrella scene.

I could try and write how perfect this scene is and why it is so iconic, but it has been talked about by EVERYONE to the point where i have nothing new to say. But if I had to add something, this is the closest we get to seeing Marinette and Adrien's core characters outside of Oblivio.

This moment made their relationship something more. Something special. Like when one experiences romantic love for the first time. Its wild, unpredictable, scary, and exciting. It is raw. And it is so very beautiful.

But in truth, some of the scenes in the episode are kind of meh. Nothing awful, but in comparison to the Umbrella scene, the rest of the episode is so-so. Still good but just not as good as that once scene.

_____________________________________________________________

1. Risk and Strikeback

F*** where do I even start.

Well spoilers for anyone who hasnt watched it yet.

The episode starts with Ladybug and team besting the akuma. Ladybug seems to have everything under control. Watching it again makes it even more amusing.

Her and Chat noir seem to have settled their little issue from Kuro neko.

Ladybug has a system for collecting power ups, and her dynamic with Rena Furtive is working out great. Even to the point where Marinette could enjoy life again.

Gabriel is at his wits end and Nathalie's encouragement had Gabriel come up with a new plan.

An akuma that made people take risks.

Now having infected everyone in paris, everyone is now super risk taking.

Gabriel then tries to get Adrien out of Paris with some photo shoot plan around the world.

Adrien now more risky tries and fails to stand up to him.

Marinette now even more risk willing wants to confess to Adrien.

Now throw in Felix who is an opportunist decides to trade places with Adrien to get what he wants (The Peacock miraculous). And Felix got WAY more than he expected. Finding his aunt in the basement.

Now with all the pieces set and his son (as far as he knew) out of Paris. Shadowmoth unleashes Strikeback.

Now in part two. Ladybug and Chat noir both more risk taking are airing their issues more as they deal with strikeback.

And as they fight Rena Furtive is revealed to everyone and thus ruining Ladybug's deal with her fox friend.

But Rena Did figure out why everyone was acting strange. Discovering why the little kid was being so annoying and that he was an akuma.

It was here when Ladybug did make a mistake, Mistaking Felix for Adrien.

And while they did stop strikeback and Risk. Ladybug failed to realize that Felix had made a deal with Shadowmoth. And it was when everything fell apart.

Hawkmoth had gained every miraculous but the Ladybug and Cat miraculous, in exchange for the Peacock.

Hawkmoth had won a major victory because Ladybug made an error.

And this was where we find Ladybug. She has broken down. Now at her lowest point. She felt that she had lost everything! And to add insult to injury. Hawkmoth makes his announcement that he had won.

But Ladybug sees she isnt alone. Chat noir was still there. And he was not gonna let Ladybug be alone. It was here that Ladybug didnt understand how chat noir of all people could still be by her side. She had not only failed as guardian, she had hurt him the most. She acknowledges all of the ways she denied him, lied to him, ignored him and she doesnt get how he could still be here for her.

But here we see why Chat noir was chosen to be by Ladybug's side. Because he wont abandon her. No matter how hard things get, no matter how cold the winds are. He will weather it all to help her. Because he loves her enough to keep trying. And it is here that Ladybug learns the greatest lessons.

That her mistakes dont mean the end. That she isnt alone. That she is a hero. And that she doesnt need to control everything.

In Origins Ladybug said she would protect paris, that she would fight hawkmoth at every step and support the citizens of Paris.

Here, Paris was showing its support of her. Because she is there hero. Ladybug sees that she isnt alone, and that she never was.

And that ending was the Ladynoir's equivalent of the Umbrella scene. DONT F***ING @ me.

I could go on about how near perfect the action and pacing of the episode were.

My biggest complaint about season 4 was that it didnt know how to pace itself. The finale never had a second that I felt was wasted.

Felix in this episode stole the show, being the most clever individual in the room.

Each character of the main cast got a chance to shine. It was amazing.

So in terms of perfect episodes. Risk and Strikeback are so far the best ML has to offer.

[brooklynboysficrecs]

Ria’s Top 10 Canon-verse Fics

So, I’m a little surprised I’ve held off on doing this particular Top 10 as long as I have, if only because this does cover the majority of stucky fics that have been written. It also contains some of my all-time favorite fics, which I will be screaming about below. You’ve been warned. But anyway, this is getting down into the nitty-gritty of why I love stucky -- the original ‘verse, with the original storyline (although there are a fair few canon-divergent fics in here, I’m sure). Pure, unadulterated Steve Rogers loving Bucky Barnes. What more can you ask for, honestly? You could ask for it to be legit canon, but lmao, no, we don’t expect things like that, especially not from the MCU writers. Also, some of the fics I might’ve included in this list are recced in an ask I got a while ago, so go check that out for some mostly-canon angst. Regardless, here are my personal Top 10 canon-verse fic recs:

1. Ain’t No Grave (Can Keep My Body Down) by spitandvinegar. Alright, buckle up friends, because this is the end-all, be-all of my favorite stucky fics. I have reread it probably four or five times in the four years I’ve been in this fandom, and it hits me just as hard every single time. This is canon-divergent post-WS, where Bucky’s come-down from his Hydra conditioning is accompanied by a drug addiction and two smart-mouthed kids he rescued from the streets. Steve literally loves nothing more than he loves Bucky and he is determined to bring Bucky home, kids included. There is just -- so much I love about this story. I can’t possibly fit it all into a little blurb. But this is my favorite stucky fic, hands-down. It’s a must-read if you can handle the incredibly sensitive topics it covers, which means it’s not for everyone. But it has my highest seal of approval. 

2. Perilous Underside of the World by eyres. I reread this recently because I was in the mood for both angst and badass Bucky, and this delivered in spades. Steve’s been kidnapped and held captive by Ross for months, tortured and experimented on, and it as devastating as it sounds. Cue Bucky and the rest of Team Cap coming in for a rescue mission and an adrenaline-filled adventure through the Antarctic wasteland. The summary says it all, honestly: Steve throws a snow-mobile at a helicopter in this one.  

3. Steve Rogers at 100: Celebrating Captain America on Film by eleveninches, febricant, hellotailor, M_Leigh, neenya, tigrrmilk. A lot of fics are enhanced by visual media, usually some type of fanart, but few are incomplete without it -- this fic is one of them. It’s a look through in-universe media depictions of Captain America over the years, with real-life casting and amazingly done posters for the movies. The various Avengers are there to react to it all and it’s nothing short of glorious. 

4. Came Back Haunted* by Brenda. You guys should know how much I love Brenda’s writing, since I waxed poetic about it when I was doing the rec for Prince Charming, but I’m going to say it again: I love her writing. And this is yet again another fic series that will tear at your heart and stitch you back together again. It features, among other things: Bucky and Thor friendship; a road-trip; dark Steve; and bearded Steve! All good things. It’s been a while since I’ve read this, but I’m pretty assured there is much angst to be found here as well, plus the requisite happy ending, because, as previously mentioned, I don’t do unhappy endings. 

5. Tender is the Ghost* by Hark_bananas. OH WOW. Okay. So. I started reading this series right before the second part had been published, and I just. Fell in love with it. The first part is set right after Bucky turned himself into SHIELD, and it features Steve and Bucky re-learning about each other (and themselves) through a closed door, considering Steve isn’t allowed to see Bucky face-to-face. And the second part picks up once Bucky is ready to go home with Steve, and it’s. So sweet. Bucky and Steve recovering, together, and finding love along the way. Bucky loves plants. What more could you ask for?

6. Infinite Coffee and Protection Detail* by owlet. I think this is probably one of the most popular series in this fandom, and for good reason. It’s Bucky setting himself a new goal after the fallout of Project Insight, and that goal is a protection detail for Steve Rogers, well before he has his memories to back up the need for such a thing. Bucky and Steve don’t get romantically involved until much later in the series, but their friendship is a thing of beauty in this, as is Bucky learning how to be human again, through coffee, grilled cheese, and The Olds, the elderly neighbors he comes to care for while he’s watching Steve’s back from across the street. I adore this series and I think most people would be hard pressed to find anything they don’t like about it. 

7. The Blood Will Dry by castiowl. There are clones in this one. It might be the sci-fi nerd in me, but honestly that’s enough information to hook me already. But this fic is a fantastic, gripping read from start to finish, and the clones are only a part of that. It’s another fic that written right after The Winter Soldier came out, and so it has a lot of the hallmarks of that era: Bucky dealing with his conditioning, coming back to himself and Steve, Hydra-hunting missions, some kidnapping, unfortunate throwbacks to torture, and Steve having to figure his own shit out right alongside Bucky. 

8. To Stop My Mind From Wandering by Lynchy8. This one is a little shorter than the other fics on this list, but it’s still one of my favorites, and for a much different reason than the others. This is Bucky and Steve separated for the majority of the fic, with Bucky taking up residence in Steve abandoned apartment while he’s off being Captain America and also looking for Bucky. Bucky does home repairs for Steve. Steve broods and worries. Bucky heals on his own terms and it’s lovely. And the ending is very sweet when Steve finally does come home.

9. despite the threatening sky and shuddering earth (they remained) by praximiter. AKA The Mask Fic. Which. Jesus Christ. This should’ve gone in with my angst fic recs, because this will hurt you, in the best possible way. Bucky’s mask doesn’t come off, and so there’s no pivotal moment of realization for Steve, no hellfire determination to ensure Bucky survives their fights against all odds. But he’s saved regardless, and the rest of the fic is the team trying to communicate with him, learn his story, all while Bucky can’t speak and the mask physically cannot come off. Like I said, it’s a recipe for Pain, but the pay-off is more than worth it, in my opinion. 

10. waiting for the winter by coldhope. Also just recently reread this one, and I loved the progression of Steve and Bucky’s relationship here as well. It also has Bucky befriending all of the Avengers, not just Natasha or Sam; getting to see from other characters’ POV how their perception of Bucky changes as the fic goes on was so interesting, since it’s not something I’ve seen done in many fics. Which also might be a personal thing on my part, who knows. Anyway. Good fic. Steve and Bucky don’t take forever to figure out their feelings, but they do take a while to get on the same page with each other, which should surprise absolutely no one who has ever read a stucky fic before.

*series, not individual story titles

[trashexplorer]

BLCD Reviews: Lala no Kekkon 2

Title: Lala no Kekkon 2 (ララの結婚 2)

Author/Artist: Tamekou

Release Date: 2019/10/20

Cast: 

Eguchi Takuya x Saitou Souma

Fukuyama Jun

Nishiyama Koutarou

Synopsis: Sequel of the series of the same name.

Review Proper

The things I do for Saitou Souma. 

Anyway, I have read the parts of volume 2 which Tenshi no Akuma has worked on beforehand, so I had an idea of what was going to go down here. But even if I didn’t, it wouldn’t be hard to figure Tamekou out. And I vaguely quote OmNom’s and gwkimmy’s review on sensei’s Deichuu no Hasu: “Sensei be too shallow”.

Sensei tries so hard to create an elaborate psychological atmosphere...

just to have a wHoLeSomE and cUTe ending. It’s like Tamekou is literally allergic to consistency. Have y’all ever seen a good psychological series with wHoLeSomE and cUTe endings??? Let me tell you, love borne out of Stockholm Syndrome will never, ever be so innocent and pure. Fucking reminds me of the Nii-chan extra. 🤮🤮🤮 But yo, at least Harada characters have fucking self-awareness when it comes to rape and such. Does have Uruji have that??? FUCK NO. Sensei just gonna go ahead and make Uruji look cute and dashing so Lamudan falls in love with him and fights Uruji’s proposed second wife over him. Medetashi medetashi.

There’s literally a lot of less irritating ways to make Lamudan fall in love with Uruji (like fucking consent), but we gotta be on brand with the Harada bootleg shebang, right??? Also, speaking of consistency, I can’t with the dialogue having English loan words. What kind of imaginary 18th century Mongolia is this where the people use English loan words?! What is this? Sahara no Kurowashi??? At least Sahara no Kurowashi doesn’t pretend to be deep! 

Ugh. My blood pressure rose typing this all out. Time to move onto the voice work.

Wow. Sis Eguchi really ain’t playing! And what did I say in the last BLCD again???

“It’s like each time I say that this performance of so-and-so is the best of them I’ve heard yet, their next performance automatically turns out to be better!” 

This is by far, again, the BEST I’ve heard of Egu. I don’t understand why he was nominated for his Koi wo suru Tsumori Nakatta performance when his Uruji was the goddamn g (I mean, despite his character being a goddamn insult). It was so smooth and so natural even though his Uruji was a tad different from his natural voice! What’s more is that, I just came from listening Fujitsu and he does not sound like his Sena AT ALL! Granted, Egu still sounds a little like Makonyan and even Hino Satoshi here, but I can now say that his role belongs to him and him alone. Also, if he just used his Uruji tone for his Akihiko, it would have been hundred times better. Today I learned that Egu can sound like Hino Satoshi when he’s not trying to. 😂 Are you taking down notes, Blue Lynx?

As for Saitou Souma, I’m proud to say that I didn’t hear his Aoi in his Lamudan at all. Y’all might be tired of me always praising SS, but he deserves it. I know he’s winning 2021. 😂 Side note: my whole family’s actually a fan of Saitou Souma (even my mom because she watches Haikyuu and likes Yamaguchi).

Main VAs aside, another reason why I forced myself to read volume 2 was because I liked Badom. Like, I really liked Badom and I ship him with Lamudan. I’m disappointed that Badom didn’t legit make off with him. 🙄 Anyway, I didn’t look at the complete cast list, so I didn’t know who was going to voice him. I remember thinking of throwing hands if it’s going to be Ono Yuuki again, but then—

ANOTHER GEN 1???!!! HAD I KNOWN I WOULD’VE LISTENED TO THIS BEFORE MDZS!!! Oh bless FukuJun’s heart for coming back twice in 2020. 😩 So when is Daisaku making his big comeback? Man, idk about you guys, but like Shimono Hiro, FukuJun’s great as a top even though he has exclusively been a bottom throughout his career in the BL industry. I’m just so sad that he doesn’t have any R18 otome CDs because if he had at least one, then we’d be able to gauge just how good at topping he really is. I might have already mentioned this in Rakka Ryuusui no Hoshi, but I really love FukuJun and he’s one of my favorite VAs of all time. Speaking of Rakka, Lala 2 is almost the same as that because we also have Saitou Souma here, but not as FukuJun’s uncle, but his brother-in-law instead! THIS JUST MAKES ME SHIP THEM MORE!!! HAHAHAHA WHEN ARE WE GOING TO HAVE A FUKUJUN X SAITOU SOUMA BLCD???!!! MAKE IT HAPPEN PLEASE!!!

Why is it that when Saitou Souma and FukuJun meet in a BLCD, the plot is almost always underdeveloped? 😂 Anyway, Lala 2 did have spectacular voice work despite the plot because everyone from the main VAs to the minor ones delivered. Nishiyama Koutarou’s character didn’t have a lot of dialogue here, so it’s a bit sad since it’s also been a while since I’ve heard him in a BLCD. I hope to hear him in one again soon.

In conclusion, we had great voice work and chemistry that’s even better than the first volume. I didn’t read the raws (do I look like I’d spend a cent on Tamekou???), so I can’t vouch for the chapters TnA haven’t released, but I can guarantee you that this would be a little difficult to follow if you’re going to lean on their scans. Since this is a sequel, they had to explain the past events first. They’ve also rearranged some of the events, too. If you’re planning to do a read-along, I’d suggest getting your hands on the tank if you can because TnA’s scans does have a considerable amount of inaccuracies in the translations. It’s a pretty good adaptation overall, so if you’re a fan of the VAs and can stomach the plot or if you’re a fan of the plot itself, then break a leg. I’m not really sure if there are other Mongolian/Eurasian themed BL out there, so I can’t recommend anything else. 🙇

[liria10]

Favorite Benny books?

Ok so. Tumblr crashed as I was typing this on mobile. I am retyping it on desktop cause fuck this site, and I Have Opinions, and my friend I will let you hear them or so help me!

.... This got. Really. Really long. I am adding a read more to spare you guys from that.

Ok so! As a preface, I haven't read many VNAs with Benny in it, and of her solo books, I still have 2 of her Legion books to read.

I'm going to (re)start this with the VNAs!

Love and War: a very classic answer perhaps, but it is a really good introduction for Benny, even if the book has its flaws and can certainly show its age nowadays. Cornell absolutely nails her right off the bat, and from her very first page, Benny is just a character that keeps you interested. Not only does she work great as a counter to both Seven and Ace, but she also brings a breath of life to the whole range the way only a prose character can.

Plus, I think one of the greatest successes of that book lies in how Benny appears as a rounded and flawed person from the beginning. She’s not your ordinary girl dragged to a whirlwind of adventure and an universe of wonders, but an older, adult woman, with a good chunk of life experience and adventures already behind her, and while setting foot inside the TARDIS opens up a new and unexpected chapter in her life, it does also remain just that. A chapter. Benny had a life before the Doctor, and from that moment, while noone could have predicted it then, she would have one after him as well.

The Left-Handed Hummingbird: I just finished that one last week, so it’s obviously both fresh in my mind, and one I'm thinking highly of at the moment. Well I mean, it’s Orman! Or course I love it. She really is great at writing both intricate, large stories, and yet focusing on the personal, on the human side of things. And I find that this book does a great job at putting benny in the role of the grounding presence both for ace and the doctor, as well as exploring how time traveling as they do, and dealing with seven’s schemes can be frustrating for benny. That whole tardis team is a mess, and none of these people really… work well together, but it’s because they’re so dysfunctioning that they’re fascinating, and orman absolutely nails that.

Theater of War: A very different type of book, it is honestly a fun romp, and it has Benny being an actual archeologist, down to dealing with the academia side of things. And it’s the little things, but I love it when Benny books remember that about her tbh? Also, it has some nice theater theming, and well, as an introduction for brax, it certainly works well! It’s one of those VNAs that I think is just fun. A well crafted story with good takes on the characters, that’s always enjoyable to me!

Return of the Living Dad: Orman again?? What a surprise! But frankly, I love how this book is all about Benny and her daddy issues, be it with the Doctor or well, her actual dad. Between that, her budding marriage with Jason, and finding out so many old wounds reopened, I just. Really love how raw Benny can be under Orman’s pen? How underneath it all, she still has that side of the scared orphan that lost both parents to a war she was far, far too young to ever comprehend, and how that just left her rebelling against the world in general, and resenting deep down her parents for that abandon. I mean, it’s neat character stuff, but it can very easily be written as dull & cliche shitte you know? And Orman really… always get down to the heart of it all, and boi does it make for some great reading.

The Dying Days: It’s a very fun book, and well, technically works as the first round for Benny as the lead woman after all! It’s a joy all throughout, triumphant where it needs to be, and managing to both celebrate the Doctor and what he brought to the VNAs, as well as setting up the stage for Benny to go on to her own range. It’s basically one last run of the old team, and well. I do love Benny & Eight, and yes I am blaming Parkin for it. Also, big brained take to have Eight give her Wolsey because I love that cat and Benny deserves a cute kitty in her life. We all do.

Ok!! Now on to the NA, and my personal favorite era!

Dragon’s Wrath: It’s a fun one!! I do really like the story being centered again on archeology first and foremost, and it’s a good romp that has some really good take on Benny. Especially the trial scenes, I love how those one get down to Benny as someone who despite everything, loves history, and cares very very deeply about the artifacts she uncovers. Also, it introduces brax as a mainstay of the dellah era, and does so in a rather nice way. Overall, a very enjoyable book!

Beyond the Sun: Benny & students stranded on a planet with mystery to uncover, that’s already a fun premise, and then throw in all the various queer themes present, especially with Emile, and the whole scene of them all in drag performing on top of a bus, and it’s just a rather good book. Plus, I love how it mirrors the whole VNA Doctor mantra, except with a very Benny twist. Sometimes cruel, sometimes cowardly, but trying her damndest to do good. And well, that’s just Benny isn’t it? I always harp on about the very heart of Benny being her humanity, and if there’s something that book highlights, it’s that.

Deadfall: Jason takes center stage in this one, and well, I do really love Jason. It’s overall a fun book with some nice lore ideas, and I love how it works Cwej in the whole Dellah setting. Also, at least it’s a story with Jason in the lead that doesn’t end in utter tragedy, and that’s always nice!

Tempest: Ok so. That book isn’t great. The story’s cliche, the characters aren’t the best, and the plot itself? Forgettable, it’s another in the list of “sort of base under siege story in the dellah era” which you’d think wouldn’t be super common and yet! So… why am I listing it here? Cause the concept of the planet!! The idea of a world of storms and disaster, run through via a blind train as the only means of transport? The fantastic animal life described in it??? That book left an impression of me, and that’s not something I can say of all of the others.

The Medusa Effect: … Justin Richard writes a good Benny. Like, legit. I love how that one really works with the setting & history of Dellah, and gives further information on the planet’s involvement with the Dalek war. Plus, it also got some really, really nice aesthetics. I am soft for good aesthetics ok? Benny, dancing with a skeleton on the deck of an old spaceship made to look like a cruise liner in an hallucination/dream sequence type of thing? Sign me right up!

Beige Planet Mars: That one is a blast. I remember just, absolutely loving it when I read it tbh. Between the overall description of Mars, the further Lore Implication of the Mars invasion & all that, as well as it basically being one last round of more… Normal dellah books before everything goes to hell? It’s one i’d highly recommend if you want to have a good time.

Tears of the Oracle: Probably my favorite of that whole range? (apart from dead romance, which I am not counting as a benny book) I love just, how much overall… feelings isn’t quite the words i’m looking for, but i can’t think of a better way to put it… there is throughout the book? It was thought to be the end of the NA as it was written and well, that shows. I love how it weaves the whole mystery of “what happened to that legendary archaeologists?” with the whole side of what’s basically some of the only survivors from dellah going on one last round of discovery. The status quo of the range was destroyed quite a few books before that one, but imo, it’s there that they take the time to stop for a bit, and just. Deals with what that means in actuality. And ngl, I love the entire sequence of Benny & Brax walking through the wreckage of what used to be their home, it’s a scene that works really, really well.

And well, it does a great job at setting up the future as well after all! Yes, there’s still 3 books after it, but when you look at where Big Finish picked up… they went for what Tears of the Oracle was setting up. It really makes the transition flows well between those two, unlike my rambling for a full paragraph before going to “here’s the BF books I like”

The Doomsday Manuscript: A very good start for the range! Not only does it set up the whole collection, but it also introduces the Fifth Axis as a major threat, and does so in a wonderfully well paced book that keeps you hooked throughout. I like how it also sets up Jason’s loss as something Benny is still suffering over, as well as how she hasn’t lost hope in finding him again. Plus frankly, it’s also a really good story.

The Glass Prison: You’d think that for a book where Benny spends the majority of it in prison and not very active due to being near the end of her pregnancy, not much would happen, but the way Jacqueline Rayner builds up an atmosphere of unease, mistrust and a genuine disturbing ambiance throughout the book is just, fantastic.

Genius Loci: This book. This book!!! Ben Aaronovitch writes an absolutely powerful story of Benny as a young woman, lost and finding herself faced with far more responsibility than she ever thought possible. The way he writes the whole mystery, while also making Benny as a 20yo not only believable, but quite distinct from Benny as the adult we’ve all come to know and love is just. So good. My main grip with this book is how abruptly it ends, and how we’ll never get the sequel. I want to read Terra Incognita and more of Benny slowly finding herself damn it!

Dead Men Diaries: Just like Doomsday Manuscript, does a great job at establishing the collection as well as the recurring cast. I really enjoy most of the stories in it, and I think BF started out so strong on those books srsly!

A Life in Pieces: I love it so much. It’s pure brax at his most manipulative, and for such petty reasons. I really like how it both deals with the aftermath of the Fifth Axis occupation, as well as the repercussions Brax’s schemes have for the people living on the collection. Also, it’s just 3 very good novellas in a row that build up to something more, and I always like seeing that.

Nobody’s Children: That book has the best Draconian story in the entirety of doctor who and related. Like, yeah just that. It’s also nice to see the fallout of the Mim/Draconian war. It’s one I didn’t expect a lot out of, and frankly, I ended up really loving it.

The Vampire Curse: The middle novella is one I absolutely hated, but the other two are really good, and mixing benny and vampires is just, very fun. Also!! Predating the Predator is in it, and it is a really good take on vampires in a science fiction setting that also has some nice creep factor as well, and manages to be both a good vampire story, and a good sci fi story, which isn’t always an easy balance to find.

Life During Wartime: It’s a surprisingly hard hitting anthology about living under a fascist regime, and the compromises you have to make, the personal sacrifices and small rebellions. Honestly, there’s a lot I love about it, but certainly one of my favorite moment, is when Benny, having to dine with one of the officers, miss jones & jason, sees that the officer is nearly on to her hiding peter away, and that split second moment of “if I have to, I am willing to kill everyone in this room to protect my son” before he just laughs it off, it’s a lot of tiny moments that build up to a really well done ambiance tbh.

Something Changed: While it did the terrible, terrible sin of introducing Doggles to the world, I really love the concept of every chapter after the first being a different split universe, and how they’re all spiraling more & more out of control. It’s got some really good stories in between too, though they can also be rather hit & miss. An aspect I love about it too is how impactful Wolsey’s death ends up being.

Present Danger: That one is fun, I love how it’s basically everyone vs the deindum, a situation slipping more and more out of control, mixed with some neat stuff one the deindum’s whole temporal deal. It’s again a bit hit & miss, but it’s still a blast, and as the last anthology of the collection era, it does send it all off with a bang.

Welp. Far, far too many words later, and here we are!!! I love Benny a lot ngl, and I genuinely think that prose is the medium best suited for her. I have been rather disappointed with the more modern books, I find them far more bland than what I personally expect from Benny but ah well. Can’t always get everything.

And while it’s neither a book, nor even an official story in any mean, the fanfic “Sepelio” that’s an Hannibal au set in the Dellah era is great, and the benny story I have been enjoying the most lately. I would be remiss not to at least mention it!

[faeriejukyung]

Dr. Romantic, Teacher Kim 2 Review

media type: kdrama

genre: medical drama, melodrama, romance

duration: 16 episodes, 70 minutes each

available on: viki (for free!)

faeriejukyung rating: 9.5/10 🍇

I know that I’m very late to this, but please bear with me. this drama came out back in January, and at that time it didn’t pique my interest, since I’m not a huge medical drama watcher. as a matter of fact, this is the first medical drama that I’ve watched! I saw one of my close friends gush about the chemistry between Lee Sung Kyung and Ahn Hyo Seop (the actors playing the lead couple in DRTK 2) on her instagram story, so I decided to give it a watch. And to say that I was pleasantly surprised is an understatement. 

This is genuinely the best kdrama I have watched ALL year. Everything about it so amazing. I was initially a bit worried because I haven’t yet watched the first season of Dr. Romantic, so I thought I’d have trouble following the storyline. But that was not the case at all! I could understand pretty much everything perfectly, and even though there were a few references to older characters, overall I wasn’t confused at all. And I’m not gonna lie, this kdrama kind of made me reconsider my future career options LMAOOO I high-key wanted to become a surgeon after watching this,, idk man, might fuck around and do medicine after I graduate high school. (my mom would die to hear me say these words)

The story revolves around the extremely talented doctor with a passion for helping and saving people, Bu Yong Ju, or Kim Sa Bu (played by Han Suk Kyu), as he’s referred to in the drama, the extremely intelligent, hardworking and sincere, but anxious doctor Cha Eun Jae (played by Lee Sung Kyung), and the talented lonewolf Seo Woo Jin (played by Ahn Hyo Seop), who’s struggling with debt. Kim Sa Bu recruits Cha Eun Jae and Seo Woo Jin to help run the chaotic Doldam Hospital, which is situated at a countryside, the place where rest of the story takes place. 

All the characters in this kdrama are so well written, and all of them have reasons for doing the things that they do. All the side characters are so so so likeable (I particularly liked the Head Nurse’s Tigress mom-like character!) -- There is not one character that I can say is poorly written. Even the dude I hated the most (Dr. Yang Ho Joon) is a well written character

The storyline in this kdrama is by far one of the most interesting ones. I literally could not stop myself from binge watching the whole thing in less than a week lmao. That's the only complain I have -- I could not put my phone down. Every time I would finish an episode, I’d practically be dying to know what happens in the next one. Every episode brings a new medical case, and I would feel my blood pressure heighten up during each and every emergency treatment. The tension that our characters feel during a surgery seems very much palatable through the screen. Like you can tell, that this is a life and death situation. And every sigh of relief that you’d take after the patient is saved would feel earned.

I REALLY REALLY REALLY adored the camaraderie and the sense of community the staff at Doldam Hospital shared. Honestly, I can talk about their loving relationship with each other for hours. These people are very much a family. These are the characters you get really emotionally attached to. And I particularly love them because found family is my favorite tv/movie/book trope :”) They are literally what I want my ideal work environment to be like! if our relationship is not like the staff at Doldam Hospital, I don’t want it. 🙄👎

My favorite character, most definitely would be the Romantic Doctor himself, Kim Sa Bu. Honestly, everyone deserves a mentor like Kim Sa Bu in their life. His wise teachings, his eye for talent, his way of teaching people and helping them overcome their flaws is literally all I want in life. He has this way of reassuring people, that it’ll be okay as long as he’s there. In the end of the kdrama, he tells us to always be in touch with our idealistic side and to never let go of the romanticism inside of us. People might call him a madman, crazy, impractical, but Kim Sa Bu always puts values and ideals like empathy, doing the right thing, selflessness at the top. He’s a character that I’ll remember for a really long time.

And of course, I can’t forget Woo Jin and Eun Jae. These two are literally my babies. We see them grow as individuals, and as a duo/couple throughout the drama. They are legit one of my favorite slow burn couples ever. And their relationship is so beautiful, you can tell how much they care about each other. While Eun Jae teaches Woo Jin to be more open about his feelings, to sometimes rely on others, Woo Jin teaches Eun Jae to be more confident with her surgery skills. (CAN I TAKE A MOMENT TO JUST TALK ABOUT EUN JAE’S CHARACTER ARC? LIKE . OMG. I’m absolutely in love!! her character glow up is like the one I want. she went from being an insecure people pleaser with a good girl complex to a self assured and extremely skilled surgeon!! God I really want to have a character arc like her, because I really relate to how Eun Jae initially was lol) Anyway, I literally cANNOT stop fangirling over them. They’re always there for each other emotionally, every time one of them is going through something. Their emotional connection is just *chef’s kiss*. They’re in my “dream relationships” list. Also this is a quick disclaimer that you might feel like they’re a bit slow, but that’s because the story isn’t completely centered around their romance. That being said, I WOULD DIE TO SEE MORE OF THEM :(( like I literally go on youtube and re-watch all my favorite WooJae scenes. (I’m lonely can u tell)

Overall, this kdrama is literally perfection for me (it’s my emotional support kdrama now ahaha). I recommend it to people who like frenemies-to-lovers trope, found family trope, along with some good adrenaline rush (lol)

Also quick viewer discretion: This show contains themes of violence, death and r@pe/s3xual assault. it also contains  A LOT of blood. Like, A LOT. I know this stuff triggers a lot of people, I advise those people to not watch it. please take care :( I love u <33

Thank you if you read through the whole thing, it means a lot! :D My name is Mahima, I’m 15 years old and I mostly geek out about kdramas, webtoon, at;la, and LOTR here, with occasional stuff about harry potter, pjo, and pokemon. hmu if u wanna be friends and talk about my stupid hyper fixations AHAH 

[sibyl-of-space]

Final Fantasy IX ~ Melodies and Memories

"Jesters of the Moon"

There are a lot of very good video games in the world, but it takes some luck and circumstance outside of a game's control for one to reach me at just the right time(s) and place(s) in my life that it has a tangible impact on who I am -- who I want to be. One that carves out a space for itself in my soul that will never be removed or replaced.

I've just finished playing Final Fantasy IX for the first time, and there's no doubt in my mind that such is the case here.

(Continued below readmore.)

I drew this art last year, when I was mourning my attachment to an old favorite game that I just don't feel the same way about anymore: Majora's Mask. I wanted to draw something that captured my feelings about it, because sometimes art is the best way to talk about something when the words don't want to come.

Why is "Jesters of the Moon," the name of a random song in the Final Fantasy IX soundtrack, plastered in the middle of this Majora's Mask fanart? Especially considering I hadn't even played Final Fantasy IX yet when I drew this?

The reason is exactly that "luck and circumstance" that allowed me to fall so uniquely in love with the game.

"Mt. Gulug"

In 2008, someone on YouTube uploaded a Majora's Mask parody-slash-let's-play series called "Majora's Mask: The Things Which Were Taken Out." The series has since become unlisted and won't be linked here out of respect for the creator who probably doesn't want things they said and made in 2008 being spread all over the internet, but because of Unregistered Hypercam 2 reasons, the series inserted other background music over the video and didn't record the actual game audio.

I didn't recognize any of the music, but I watched these parody videos on repeat because in addition to being funny (...at the time, in my mind, at least), I really really loved the music. It got to the point where I would sometimes be playing Majora's Mask and get disappointed when I approached Goht and the Mt. Gulug theme wasn't playing in the background.

I had forgotten about these videos for a really long time in the interim, but I remembered them at some point when I was thinking about Majora's Mask and I found them again. The creator had cited the Final Fantasy IX soundtrack for virtually all of the background music used in the videos, and I realized that despite knowing literally nothing about the game, I had become really fond of - and weirdly nostalgic for - the songs from it that I now recognized.

So I looked up "Jesters of the Moon" and played it on repeat while I drew out my feelings in colored marker. A few months later, I realized that my backwards compatible PS3 can also play PS1 games, and eBay had FFIX for PS1 at a good price. I had nothing to lose by ordering it and seeing what the source of all that fantastic music was like.

"Vamo Alla Flamenco"

I started my playthrough knowing nothing about what to expect from the game. I'd never played a Final Fantasy game before and my overall JRPG experience has been mostly limited to Tales of, Persona, and more recently, mainline Shin Megami Tensei. The only things I knew about Final Fantasy were a) the Tidus laughing scene, and b) Sephiroth. IX seemed like it had vibes I would enjoy, but beyond that I knew nothing about what the experience would be. So I approached it with a "let's have fun and see how it goes" attitude, naming my party members the first silly thing that came to mind, ending up with "Swaggy," "OwO," "Bitchin," "Gunz," and "SWOOORD" to start with.

(For the record I do not regret those names whatsoever.)

I was immediately struck by how differently the game uses music in comparison to all of my previous JRPG experiences. This was not a game where the composer was given a list of theme songs that were slapped on top of a mostly completed game-- this was a game constructed with the soundtrack in mind as a part of the writing process.

The opening act plays almost like an opera (side note, yes I know one of the other FF's has a literal opera, I haven't played that one): you traverse the same locations from different perspectives as different characters, introducing the cast with lighthearted humor and dramatic irony out the wazoo. While you traverse the city as OwO, OwO's theme is playing in the background, coloring your perspective of the city and the narrative. When you switch to Gunz patrolling around the castle, Gunz's theme accompanies your movement and informs his character and mission. I am so accustomed to "location themes" being the norm in virtually all video games that experiencing character and/or narrative themes as BGM instead while I bumble around town changed my entire perspective on what music in games can do and be.

The operatic feeling is definitely intentional, because the game uses a play-within-a-game narrative device to hit you over the head with its themes in a way that is somehow poignant and artful while also being extremely blatant. That is a hard balance to strike, but it manages. The whole game is like that: it is completely straightforward and tells you exactly what it's about at heart, but it does it beautifully.

At any rate, I was enamored with this intro and had a very fun time, but I wasn't obsessed or anything and ended up putting it down. I spent several months on the first half of disk 1 with weeks passing between play sessions. I liked the game plenty, but life stuff happened and I decided to get obsessed with Dai Gyakuten Saiban and Ghost Trick for a while. No regrettis.

It was already clear, though, that FFIX was going to be special to me. My compositions for my team's game in the Global Game Jam in 2021 were directly inspired by FFIX's opera-like intro. I wrote two character themes for our game that would serve as background music when you play as the two protagonists, coloring your journey differently even when moving in the same spaces. I was intentionally trying to mimic the way music is used in FFIX as an exercise. The themes I wrote are definitely some of my strongest work so far.

(You can check out the game here if you want, I promise it is significantly shorter than Final Fantasy IX.)

"Melodies of Life"

Music caused me to pick up FFIX the first time, and music caused me to return to it. After months of not touching or really thinking about it, just earlier this week I was inspired to play it again, because - again - I listened to the right song at the right time.

I was again mourning the loss of something, in this case a friendship, for reasons I'm not going to share here. I had already heard the song "Melodies of Life" because it came up when I was looking up FFIX songs to reblog on Tumblr a few months ago, and I decided to listen to it again. Even without knowing the game context, the song itself really spoke to me in that moment: "a voice from the past, joining yours and mine, adding up the layers of harmony" - it kind of made me feel at peace with the fact that I had a lot of positive memories of that friendship and I could keep those at heart while also moving on in the present. ...I'm also a sucker for music metaphors, so there is that.

I was really moved by this song, cheesy as it is, and I was also definitely in the mood for a distraction. Picking up FFIX again felt like the best move.

It was, and my life is forever changed.

The game never stopped being beautiful and funny and touching, and the soundtrack never ceased to amaze. I recognized concepts I've seen in other games but never had I seen them used so artfully. I adored the fantasy world and non-human cast, I found myself enticed by random encounter for the first time because it made me feel like I had to struggle to survive a difficult journey. Music, gameplay, visuals, and story felt like one cohesive work of art for the entire duration.

Life circumstances got me to play the game again, but the game itself was so captivating and wonderful that I binged the entire rest of it - disks 2-4 - in less than a week. Everything else that the game had to say, it told me itself, in its own context, and I was ready to listen.

"You're Not Alone!"

This is going to make me sound like an emotionally-stunted twenty-something, but it has been years since a work of media has got me to have a really good cry. I used to cry playing games all the time as a kid but recently I'll find myself getting emotional, sure, often tearing up, but getting completely red-faced and snot-nosed because I physically cannot contain the emotions being evoked by a work? Years. I can't honestly tell you the last time it happened with certainty.

I feel like an emotional band-aid has been ripped off. I was f*cking sobbing during the entire duration of the "You're Not Alone!" sequence. It didn't matter that what was happening was obviously coming from a mile away, because the delivery was so raw and emotional and human!!! A whole game's worth of Swaggy punching first and asking questions later to save his friends, being Protag McProtag endangering himself for others in any and all circumstances, for the payoff of all of his friends forcing him to stop being such a primadonna and let them help him for once. It's true, too! He relies on them just as much as they rely on him! And the game doesn't just tell you this, no, it lets you try to solo all these fights and waits until you realize how boned you are until they come bail you out.

When Bitchin showed up with her "looks like you need a hand" I wanted to straight up yell at my tv. YES I DO!!! YES I DO NEED YOU BITCHIN!!!!! THANK YOU!!!!!!! I half knew that SWOOORD was going to heal me before I got truly KO-ed but I had been unmercifully wiped in "unwinnable" battles before in this game, so I legit thought I might have to re-do that whole part of the game again, and I was so relieved and thankful when she showed up and healed me.

This moment exemplifies everything that I adore about this game. It doesn't just tell you its story. It shows it to you, it sings it to you, and it and lets you play it out and feel it for yourself.

"Game Over"

This song is all too familiar to me. Gizamaluke's Grotto was very unforgiving for a first-time Final Fantasy player, especially one who didn't happen to pick up Big on the way for a fourth party member early on.

I hadn't heard the piano part in a few months, though, because when I picked the game back up I started just mashing to reload before it got to that point any time we wiped. I didn't hear it again until the game was truly over, this time for good.

I let it play for a while. Not too long, because I have a CRT TV and didn't want "The End" to get burned in. But a while. Enough to meditate on what I'd just experienced, and how I was feeling about it.

There's so much more to say about the game, far more than I could put in a blog post. But I don't think I need to describe these thoughts in words. I can do what the game did, and use music, use art, use stories, use metaphors, and use symbols to communicate what I mean; and hope that someone else is able and willing to listen.

And although a written record of my thoughts likely won't be preserved for all that long, maybe the feelings and the memories will be, so long as they have been shared.

[destiny-smasher]

My personal 2020 GOTYs

1) Hades

This game, dudes. THIS GAME. A fraction of the budget, a fraction of the dev team size, reportedly HEALTHY development schedule and management...and imo it offers at least some of everything I want out of a single player video game. I have poured over 60 hours into this and I see myself putting in some more over time and ALL of the time I have spent has felt rewarding and edifying. Clever design, smart writing, organic voice acting, sharp gameplay, and all done at a fraction of the resources of these big budget, bloated games. You love to see it.

2) Final Fantasy 7 Remake (Part 1?)

I went into this year not caring much about this game at all. FF7 was a game I played as a teen, enjoyed, respected, and moved on from pretty easily. This Remake, so far, has done more than I could’ve expected in terms of actually REMAKING a game. It’s literally a new adaptation, and I as pleasantly surprised at just how hard it went. From realizing the world of Midgar into something so full of detail and plausibility, to reiterating and doubling down on its postmodern anti-corporation themes, to making Barret the character I loved the MOST somehow?? Combining everything I love about real-time RPG action with a tactical strategy element long missing from the genre, reimagining and fleshing out characters and concepts into something deeper and more meaningful...I’ve never considered myself a huge FF7 fan but this game was really something, and I absolutely cannot wait for more (and praying they do my girl Yuffie justice). I’ve been super skeptical of Nomura as a director given...the mess that has become Kingdom Hearts, but as it turns out, when he has others to reign things in, some surprisingly nuanced stuff for an anime game can come out of it. It has its flaws, to be sure, but it’s still the most enjoyable experience I had with a big budget game this year.

3) The Last of Us Part 2

I feel conflicted over this one in particular - I feel Neil is not longer a director I respect the way I did back with the first game. I feel Naughty Dog is falling victim to all of the late capitalist issues plaguing big budget game dev. But I also love this game. It’s much more flawed than the first, but that’s mainly because it’s more ambitious and complicated. It’s THE most flawed game on this game, honestly, but overall as a game I am compelled to respect its writing, its gutsier decisions, its art direction, acting, presentation, etc. It’s an impressive game and the most technically impressive game I played all year if not all generation. Props where they’re due, but at the same time, I think this game was poorly directed and I love it in spite of issues with its production, rather than because of some strong vision. That’s the big Sony bucks, I suppose, matched with a dev team willing and apparently somehow able to fulfil what they want to create. I still get the impression there was a bit of ‘design by committee for a mainstream audience’ kind of shit going on - how could there not with something this big? - and as a result I think the game is a bit bloated. Shave off about 3-5 hours from a few spots and it’d be a more focused game, and maybe I’d feel more edified and satisfied rather than weirdly conflicted. Even so, a huge accomplishment and I hope to see more games tackle premises as ambitious as this down the road.

4) Bug Fables

This game technically launched last year but it debuted on console in 2020, and I didn’t play it until then. This is as close to a follow-up to old school Paper Mario as it gets, while simultaneously doing a lot to forge its own identity and even improve on the formula presented in the previous games. Its rough around the edges but that’s mainly because it’s an independent game, and it’s amazing just how well the dev team was able to reproduce the scope and details of this specific subgenre of RPG, all while continuously implementing new game design elements and multiple features that make it feel more modern in its direction. Fantastic stuff, I’m still not even finished with it because I’ve been taking my sweet time, though I intend to finally finish it this month, and I have to say, it’s quite a special game in my opinion.

5) Fall Guys: Ultimate Knockout

Absolute banger of a multiplayer game, really love the presentation, the concept, the overall execution, the way the team has been updating the game every month or so in response to feedback and implementing new content. So good to see the battle royale genre FINALLY pushed beyond just...arena shooting. Can’t wait to see where else this game can go over time.

6) Animal Crossing: New Horizons

Somehow this one slipped my mind when I first wrote this up, despite having poured well over 100 hours into it this year. I think part of it is that New Horizons did a lot of things I’ve wanted the series to do for so long, and yet is still far behind in terms of so many other things I wish they would do. Quality of life things prevent me from really re-investing into it, and yet despite that I have to admit it REALLY sucked me in for a solid few weeks and I continued to play off and on for months. It was the perfect game we collectively needed right when it came out and graphically I can’t think of how to really improve on that style. A really relaxing getaway I needed earlier this year, though like with previous AC games, I don’t find myself going back to it as much as I’d think I would.

7) Going Under

A surprise hit for me, this rogue-like swooped in from ‘heh that looks amusing’ to ‘oh wow this is legit just a great game.’ Its weird visuals, funky 3D gameplay, and surprisingly sharp storytelling make for a rogue-like unlike any other and one totally near the top for me.

8) Marvel’s Spider-Man: Miles Morales

Squeezed this in just this past week or so, and this one also satisfied me greatly. I wish we’d see more big budget open-world games like this -- laser focused, not wasting any time, and not being repetitious aside for completionists. So cool to see another team’s take on Miles after how much I fell for Into the Spider-verse, and very glad the team both homages that movie while subverting some expectations fans of the film might have, all while continuing to adapt Insomniac’s take on Spider-Man from a couple years ago.

9) Demon’s Souls (Remake)

As a big fan of FromSoft who never got too far into this one originally, it’s been great to visit it as if it’s a new Souls game with an alternate art style. And a very clean art style it has. This was a good pick to be remastered because many, even FromSoft fans like myself, missed out on it, and it feels unique from its predecessors while still showing a solid foundation they’d go on to build from.

10) Crash Bandicoot 4

An amazingly well done follow-up to the original trilogy, this game GETS what makes old school Crash games good, and it improves upon things in a number of ways, from making Coco the alternate hero, bringing back old faces in new lights, going ham with the visuals both in raw art and unique filters when replaying stages, and giving incentive for completion with so many great costumes. Well done, great old school platforming with modern design sensibilities. 

Honorable Mentions:

CrossCode

This also technically launched before 2020 but I didn’t play it until this year, and I don’t think it hit consoles until this year. I wasn’t exactly sure what to expect going in, just remembering that I had enjoyed the demo well enough. This game delivers in most ways you could want from an indie game, with an expansive world of sidequests and RPG growth, a flexible combat system that can be nailbiting and engaging, and old-school dungeon designs with lots of environmental and elemental puzzles that really ask a lot of you. All of this capped with a surprisingly great narrative with characters I grew to love, including a much needed protagonist with a unique identity unlike any in games that I’ve played, as well as extra bits of detail and production values invested at JUST the right moments where the story needs it the most. It feels a bit tedious at times and part of me wishes more of the sidequest content involved direct interactions with the named, recurring characters, but it’s still one of the most impressive and well-done indie games I’ve ever played.

Katana ZERO

Razor-sharp game design, this one. It’s a brief but intensely focused experience that feels like the video game equivalent of a slick, experimental indie film. Could do with some more replayablity for those who want it but what’s here is just damn good and I gobbled this game down like a fantastic, hand-cooked meal at an atmospheric dive bar barely anyone knows about.

Necrobarista

Haven’t quite finished it yet but this is definitely one of the best visual novels I’ve ever experienced just due to how hard it goes on presentation and pushing for a more cinematic and thoughtful vibe than any other VN I’ve ever experienced. The characters and writing feel ripped out of an early 2000′s webcomic, for better and for worse, but all the same, it’s some fantastic stuff and it’s so refreshing to see a game set in Australia tackling a well-worn genre by giving it a new spin.

Slay the Spire

Another personal pick since this released in 2019, and I’m not quite sure which consoles it hit or when, but I didn’t get into it until early this year, and was totally hooked. Fantastically addictive, probably the most well-design deck-building rogue-like I’ve seen, certainly one of my favorite deck-building games in general. Apparently I’ve sunk 50 hours into it this year, more than most on this list, and I wouldn’t be surprised if that number spikes up again at some point.

[mygreatadventurehasbegun]

My Personal Hitchcock Countdown, Part Four!

TOP FIVE!

The final part of my countdown of  my personal favorite (and least favorite) Hitchcock films!

5. Vertigo

Only seen the movie once, and it managed to break the top five!  I saw it for the first time maybe a week ago, after putting it off for longer than I care to admit, because I thought the plot seemed too convoluted.  But as it turns out, it’s not as complicated as I thought!  And even though I knew what happens at the end, I was still thoroughly invested.  I loved the scene of Jimmy Stewart dragging Kim Novak up the stairs of the bell tower, that was so intense!  And Jimmy Stewart gives one of his best performances in this film, a very dark turn for him and an occasionally very unlikable character.  And this movie looks incredible.  It’s probably Hitchcock’s best-looking color film.

4. Shadow of a Doubt

Hitchcock’s personal favorite film!  This is a movie I enjoy more and more with each re-watch.  I really love the characters....Charlie, the main lead, is likable, clever and interesting to watch.  The side characters are all a lot of fun...I particularly get a chuckle from Hume Cronyn’s character, Herbert, who discusses murder with Charlie’s father for fun.  But really, this movie belongs to Joseph Cotton as Uncle Charlie.  This is the best villain Hitchcock ever put on screen.  Better than Lars Thorwald, better than Norman Bates, Uncle Charlie is one of the creepiest villain’s I’ve ever seen.  You don’t really need to look any farther than that gif of him looking straight into the camera.  He is cold and calculating, yet can still be charming and likable to the people around him.  He has everybody fooled...except his niece.

3. Psycho

Hitchcock’s masterpiece.  I mean, I think we can all agree on that.  And if I was making an objective list, this would probably be at the top.  It’s iconic for a reason.  It’s so good, it’s almost difficult to talk about, since I don’t think I could bring much more to the discussion.  But I will say, that even though I knew about the shower scene, I was still creeped out.  And I did not know about the twist ending, so that legit freaked me out, to see Norman come out dressed in that wig with a knife.  And Anthony Perkins gives an amazing performance as Norman...his pleasant, boyish exterior that is masking this much darker side is so fascinating to watch,  There’s really not more to be said, if you haven’t seen it yet, you have something to watch this Halloween season!

2.  The Birds

This was the second Hitchcock film I saw...Rear Window opened the door, but this is the movie that made he a fan!  I remember watching it in the lecture hall of my middle school...so we got to watch it on a bigger screen, which was nice for a first-time viewing.  While I agree it is not his best movie, this is the one I consider to be the scariest, because you will never look at a group of birds the same way again.  You can convince yourself that you’re safe in the shower or that your neighbors are actually very nice people, but you see a flock of birds in a tree, it can be quite unsettling!  And this is another case of just damn impressive filmmaking....and something that would not be done today.  A movie about killer birds, and they use real birds.  No CGI.  I think the only bits that were fake was when the would mix in cutouts of crows in with the real ones.  Like this film or not, you have to admit that that is a very gutsy movie.  And it paid off, as this movie is fantastic!

1.  Notorious

This is probably no surprise to anyone who follows me, but Notorious is my favorite Hitchcock movie!  While not particularly “scary”, there are still some fantastic moments of tension.  But Notorious is, first and foremost, a love story.  And damn, do I love it.  Cary Grant and Ingrid Bergman have electric chemistry as Devlin and Alicia (something I was very happy to see that still had in Indiscreet) and if any other actors were in these roles, I don’t think the movie would have worked as well.  Claude Rains (whom I adore) is also wonderful as Alicia’s husband, Alex...whom she only married so she could spy on him for the American government, since he is a Nazi, living in Brazil.  I think the wine cellar sequence is a terrific example of Hitch’s idea about suspense...the idea of the “bomb under the table”...and it’s all done with no dialogue, and you are glued to your seat.  If I were to recommend any Hitchcock movie to someone who hasn’t seen any of his films, I would start here!!

And there you have it!  My personal ranking of the 18 Hitchcock movies I’ve seen (so far).

[theliterateape]

The Subjectivity of Historical Revisionism

by Don Hall

The game was simple but difficult.

My first wife was an orchestra clarinetist. I had played in countless orchestras with my trumpet. I never really fit in with the academically inclined orchestra crowd but she did so she would have small gatherings to eat and drink at our home.

I could only handle sitting and chatting with them for a short time before I either started throwing verbal bombs in the mix to keep things interesting (which inevitably set the stage for a fight with my wife after all had gone home) or checked out completely (a different but similar sounding fight later). I finally came up with a game that they could play so I could go into my office and write or drink or drink and write.

I was a middle school music teacher and my curriculum for eighth grade included some college music history.

“OK. I teach a class on the Romantic Period of music for my kids. I get forty minutes to cover composers from 1770 to 1850. This includes Brahms, Liszt, Mendelssohn, Verdi, Wagner, Sibelius, Schubert, and scores more as well as over 5,000 known pieces of music of all genres. Forty minutes. I have to boil the whole period down to roughly six pieces of music at three minutes apiece to encapsulate all of that.

Here’s the game. You have forty minutes to teach a class on the music of the Twentieth Century. You get ten pieces and composers. Go!”

After around thirty minutes, I'd come back in, get another drink, and they'd inevitably have their ten. I'd look at it and comment, "So. You guys don't think jazz should be included?" They'd all growl and go back in to it.

Keep in mind, this game was about determining what specific art would be included for a limited attention span and, in the most subjective way, indicate what art you value first and foremost.

Were I to play that game today with someone my nephew's age, an additional criteria would be added. It would not be enough that the music was important or influential or even good. The addition to the type of person the artist was (or is) has become a part of the game.

It's all revision by exclusion.

Assessing the merit of art or historical significance is more than a popularity test. There have been plenty of popular artists, scientists, statesmen, and entrepreneurs in our history who have become unpopular and even unknown over time and who have been weeded out of curation. 

Why are we exposed to the art we are exposed to? We certainly aren’t the kind of creatures who, when seeking out information, go to a library index file and pour through thousands of entries to find the hidden treasures any more. No, we now have a screen which we type in “What were the best novels of the 20th Century?” and are fed a result.

According to Goodreads.com, there are 164 books listed under the heading The ACTUAL 100 Best Novels of the 20th Century.

As soon as you start to apply the Woke Metrics (you know, the yardstick that dismisses the accomplishments of Winston Churchill because he was a bigot) these lists start to narrow significantly. Using that criteria (which in the newspeak of that progressive cultmind must come before merit, quality, or theme) the only list that exists is The 100 Best Novels No One Has Ever Heard Of by People No one Has Ever Read.

As I wrote, this sort of assessment can't simply be a popularity test. If it were, Fifty Shades of Grey and The Harry Potter books would top the list.

When I play the game, I’m looking for a few things to merit inclusion in the tiny lists:

How influential was the work on those that followed?

How indicative of the time and place is the work?

Is the work limited in scope or more universal in theme?

There is a scene at the beginning of the Amy Poehler film Moxie where the new student challenges the teacher on the assignment of reading The Great Gatsby.

The scene is fun and pointed. Ike is a hoot as the teacher. Had I been her teacher I would have responded by asking what she thought was a better choice. She might have a novel written by a black woman that encapsulates the American response to the 1918 pandemic in excess and mystery. She might have an example of a novel written that explores the notions of class and the very essence of the American Dream following the horrors of WWI. If she has a suggestion of a novel written by someone not white and not male that deals so eloquently about justice, power, wealth, betrayal, and several classes of Americans who have assumed skewed worldviews, mistakenly believing their survival lies in stratification and reinforcing social boundaries, let's read that!

The issue at hand with much of the faddish push to classify certain artists and historical figures as unassailably evil and worthy of complete erasure is that the most strident either have nothing with which to substitute for the thing they deem canceled or they have replacement art that is not up to the challenge. It isn't that they don't have every right to express their grievance. History (and not merely American history) is littered with people passed over for reasons beyond merit or time as well as people lauded and magnified for rationale limited to race, sex, and religion.

Anger and grievance is not a replacement for a solution.

✶

For much of the past year I've been incredibly frustrated with this push for revision in our history. San Francisco schools voting to replace Lincoln with someone more influential historically on the rights of African Americans? That's fucking nuts, man. 

An English teacher in Massachusetts successfully convinced her school's administrators to remove Homer's The Odyssey from its curriculum because of its alleged sexism. Another English teacher in Seattle said he would "rather die" than teach The Scarlet Letter in class. Mark Twain is suspect because of his portrayal of black people in The Adventures of Huckleberry Finn.

To Kill a Mockingbird, once the City of Chicago book of the month, is now considered a no-go because it glorifies "white saviorhood" through the character of Atticus Finch. The novels featuring Sherlock Holmes should be tossed because author Arthur Conan Doyle included racist language. The author of the Little House on the Prairie books, Laura Ingalls Wilder, was stripped of a literary honor because of the "anti-Native and anti-Black sentiments in her work."

Throwing the shade of accountability on someone like J.K. Rowling seems excessive but more legit because she is still alive and reaping benefits from the sales of her writing. I may disagree with the rationale behind the call-out but it is only slightly different from Major League Baseball boycotting Georgia for re-enacting Jim Crow voting law.

Homer? Lincoln? Twain? All dead. No accountability to exact and all we have is the work left to speak for them.

For much of the past year, this stridency has driven me a little crazy but I realized recently that, especially in the digital age where so much art has been transposed into bytes, no one can prevent me from reading To Kill a Mockingbird or watching the Gregory Peck film. No one can prevent me from enjoying a Woody Allen film or a Harry Potter novel or celebrating the heroism of Churchill and Lincoln.

I love the music of David Bowie because it's great music. Does the fact that he had routine amounts of sex with underage girls dampen my enjoyment? Nope. Will it trigger someone else? Maybe. And it is their choice to avoid his music if they choose. It is not within their power to limit my choice as it should not be within my power to force it upon them.

History, as is art, trends toward subjectivity. History, after all, is just a series of stories we tell each other and stories are always told from a lens of the teller. History is less fact than it is an interpretation of existing facts and illusions. Do I believe, as the authors of the 1619 Project suppose, that America was founded in slavery? No. Do I believe that this means I can learn nothing from the stories they tell? Again, no.

Placing things into a larger perspective is as easy as acknowledging the horrors of the Civil War and still being able to comfortably have an Honest Abe Burger at the now closed Lincoln Restaurant in Chicago.

Now I'm going to go curl up and watch The Purple Rose of Cairo, then read The Great Gatsby while listening to Michael Jackson.

[smokeybrandreviews]

Smokey brand Movie Reviews: Run it Back

I’ve been trying to watch Tenet for months. 2020 has f*cked up me entire movie viewing experience, even though it never had to get this bad. I live in the US and my government is sh*t so we’ve had to deal with this bullsh*t for a full year. I’ve sat back and watched whole ass countries reopen while we are going into another nation wide lock down because idiots refuse to sacrifice even a little bit for us to get out of this goddamn hole but, i digress. This isn’t a rant about the political situation in my sh*thole country, it’s a review of Tenet. Long story short, i finally have an opportunity to check this thing out. I was looking mad forward to the theater experience with this one because Nolan is a master at that but, instead, I'll have to settle for m home theater experience.

The Good

Christopher Nolan is back at it again, giving us spectacle and substance at the same damn time. I love this dude’s work. It’s always gorgeous and cerebral and engaging. I mean, he elevated Batman to high art, are you kidding me? Tenet is no different. This film is one of his best. He takes another high concept, grounds it for laymen, and does spectacular sh*t with it. Bro, give this man a Bond film already because that’s what this is, only laced with tat same energy he instilled within Inception and The Prestige.

The editing in this movie must have been a herculean task to accomplish but accomplish it they did. It’s devastatingly phenomenal with all of the reversed shots and slighted perspectives you see on screen. I am in awe of the precision it took to make this movie happen. Obviously, it is a real visual feast but the machinations behind the scenes to make everything so goddamn seamless are disgustingly, unabashedly, brilliant. If Nolan doesn’t get an Oscar nod for this sh*t, there’s no justice in the world. It really is a technical marvel.

I touched on this a little before but this movie is f*cking gorgeous. The set pieces are breathtaking, the aesthetic is lovely, and the shot composition is pristine. Some of this cinematographer can legit be framed and hung in a museum of fine art.

And to keep the gushing going, this sound design is f*cking chef kiss level. I said Nolan is a master at his craft and that come through, one hundred percent, with the mixing in this movie. It’s more than just the soundtrack or score, but literally everything. In order for this film to work, he had to meticulously go through and navigate every noise in this film. I don’t understand how Nolan can be so precise with his vision but i am SO glad that he is.

This is the most action i have ever seen in a Nolan film and it’s legitimately some of the best. Sh*t is profound, visceral, and brutal. It borders on Daniel Craig James Bond barbarous and i loved it all. It’s such a juxtaposition from the suave, smooth, aesthetic of the film. I mean, Protagonist literally cheese grates the side of a dude’s face and walks away like it’s nothing I’ve never seen sh*t so goddamn vicious.

I just really needed to circle back around to this but these set pieces are f*cking extravagant as a motherf*cker. There is one in this flick that tops the plane heist in The Dark Knight Returns. It’s whole ass miraculous to see and i lament i couldn’t see it how it was designed to be properly seen. Nolan’s demand for practical effects always delivers brilliant spectacle.

I love this plot. I love the mechanics and the theories at play here. I’m a theoretical physics geek so i live for these existential shenanigans. It’s one of the reasons Inception is one of my favorite films and it’s definitely the reason this one is climbing that list as i watch it in real time. The plot, itself, is textbook spy heist stuff; Fate of the world, mad scientist villainy, ticking clock, mcguffin, etc. However, the theories therein uplift the material and make that mundane plot, so much more.

Okay. So, with the praise of the technical brilliance of this film out of the way, i can finally get into the performances and the cast. Of course Nolan mainstay, Sir Michael Caine, makes another memorable cameo as Sir Michael Crosby. Another interesting addition was Himesh Patel of Eastenders fame. He plays Mahir, a fixer; Another staple of these types of Nolan films. Other notable cast members include Aaron Taylor-Johnson, Clemence Posey, Dimple Kapadia, and Yuri Kolokolnikov. Even Fiona Dourif has a role to play in this flick. Chucky’s daughter is in a Nolan film and i am absolutely shook about it! Everyone delivers their performances with gusto, even when there isn’t much of a character on the page to realize. Now to get into the standouts, for better or worse.

John David Washington is f*cking exceptional in this flick, man. It’s a little jarring hearing him speak sometimes, i keep hearing his pops, but dude delivers like his dad onscreen, too. This is a star-turning vehicle for Washington and he deserves all of the shine. his Protagonist is amazing to see onscreen and can give ever cinematic spy, from Bourne to Bond, a proper run for their money. Washington’s swagger and poise make this character one of the best in Nolan’s filmography. JDW is fast building one helluva body of work. Monsters and Men, Ballers, and BlacKkKlansman, and now this? It’s only a matter of time before JDW is the acronym on top of all the best scripts, all the awards. Dude is primed to blow the f*ck up and Tenet is a massive opening salvo of a career, i suspect, which will be as grand as his father’s body of work.

Robert Pattinson continues to prove he is one of the best of his generation, however ridiculous it is to actually work with him. his Handler character, Neil, kind of steals all of the scenes. Dude is witty, calculating, and mad aloof but never a bore. Pattinson delivers this performance with a smarm that feels slathered on in heaps but is just too decadent to ignore. He reminds me a lot of Hardy’s Eames from Inception and that’s high praise. Eames was my favorite character in that flick. It’s been a banner year for old Patts. The Batman his limping along, Tenet is a masterpiece, The Lighthouse was inspired, and he was disgustingly horrid in The Devil All the Time. Dare i say, ol’ BatPats becoming one of my favorites working today.

God, Elizabeth Debicki is great in this role but there simple isn’t enough to properly sustain her talents. Her Kat Barton is so goddamn thin, it’s painful because i know Debicki is great at her job. She’s shown her brilliance countless times, almost always uplifting her roles, even if the content is abject sh*t. The Cloverfield Paradox is a great example of that. This isn’t her fault. Nolan is terrible at writing women but, just once, if he could actually create a female lead with a bit off agency, i wished it would have been for this film. Debicki deserves so much better but, even with this paper thin caricature she’s been giving, she uplifts the material and works magic with the scraps.

The Bad

Kenneth Branagh as the antagonist, Andrei Sator, is a little cartoonish for the tone of this film. Branagh always kind of overacts like this in most of his appearances so you have to take it with a grain of salt but, in order to really come across as sinister like they want you to believe this dude is, someone else should have played this role. He does an admirable job but the character was just realize pitch. I can see Javier Bardem or Mads Mikkelsen killing totally this sh*t

Nolan continues to shortchange his female characters. He is the worst at writing chicks, man, i swear. It’s a shame, really, because everything else around them is always so interesting. It’s one of dude’s few flaws as a storyteller and it’s my biggest gripe with his craft. The machinations of Tenet are so intriguing but poor Elizabeth Debicki doesn’t even get to really play in that world. She definitely works with what she has but, ultimately, her character is mad flaccid and it’s a crying shame.

This isn’t a knock on the film at all but the fact i had to watch it on a regular ass television, however large and 4K that is, just ain’t the same. Nolan films are meant to be seen on the biggest screen possible, at least at first. I hope to god this thing gets a re-release when this COVID sh*t blows over.

The Verdict

I loved Tenet. Loved it. I loved the concept going in but actually seeing it, finally experiencing it, and i am hooked. It’s a stunning f*cking film and Nolan pulled out all of the stops. His writing, direction, and overall vision to put this jigsaw of  movie together is absolutely profound. Even with all of this on his plate, he Nolan was able to articulate this to one of his best casts and two of his strongest leads. John David Washington and Robert Pattinson come through and kill this sh*t. This movie would not work without these two cats. Seriously, JDW was to be a star after this, and he still might be, even if this thing didn’t get the theatrical release it absolutely needs and deserves. BatPats did his thing and killed another performance, further proving he’s a real actor and not some flash-in-the-pan, sparkling, vampire. Even the supporting cast comes through and delivers outstanding performances. Nolan uses every bit of this two and a half hour run time to deliver a heart-pounding spectacle of espionage and intrigue, rivaling the very best modern Bond films. The only issue i have with this thing is the usual Nolan issue; Bad female characters. Dude can’t write a woman to save his goddamn life. Also, the main antagonist is a bit weak. He's a little too Goldmember when he probably should have been more Goldfinger. Tenet is the best goddamn film I've seen all year and i wish, more than anything, i could have seen this thing in a proper theater It would have been quite the experience.

[bisexual-horror-fan]

I’m looking for some good horror movie suggestions! Could you list a few recommendations? (The List can be as long or as short as you’d like haha)

Oh FUCK yeah buddy I gotchu!

Aight Imma drop my faves on you all here, dunno what you have and haven’t seen so let’s get a good smattering of a lotta different options! 

The Obvious Ones (course I would suggest these like HI do you know me?):

Scream series (amazing, meta, one of my first big loves, Billy and Stu are amazing but Sydney is one of my fave final girls ever.)

The Nightmare On Elm St series (I love them all but the first three and new nightmare are top tier, also like have you seen my blog? Course this is on here. Say what you want but Freddy IS a horror icon who is inseparable from the genre)

Behind The Mask: The Rise Of Leslie Vernon (Nathan Baesel I owe you my life. Meta, so fun, so engaging, basically required viewing for any horror/slasher fan, and I will recommend this movie for the rest of my life probably.)

House Of Wax (2005) (Again, have you seen my blog? We love the Sinclair’s in this house.)

Re-Animator (So damn fun, so enjoyable and again Herbert West is just an amazing character, let’s give it up AGAIN for Jeffery Combs cuz DAMN!)

Less Obvious (coming from me anyway):

Friday The 13th series (We love Jason in this house.)

Texas Chainsaw series (Love that cannibalistic fam.)

The Halloween series (Micheal Myers is a big quiet bitch that we love.)

The Child’s Play series (I love them the longer it goes along and get’s more crazy and out there, Bride, Seed and Cult are my faves personally.)

Silence Of The Lambs (Hi amazing film and Hannibal Lector is one of the few men I would call daddy if he wanted me to.)

Big Personal Faves Of Mine (These get descriptions because I am BIG LOVE for these):

THE FINAL DESTINATION SERIES! A series all about cheating death, a group of people in each one avoids a big accident and death comes after them one by one to get them, very intense, even watching every movie multiple times, the tension still gets to me. (My FAVE movie series! I could legit go on and on about it, behind the scenes things, actors, trivia, characters, details for HOURS I love it so much.)

The Perfect Host. A man robs a bank and while trying to lay low from the police sweet talks his way into staying at Warwick Wilson’s home while he is preparing for a dinner party and the night gets pretty wild, our bank robber get’s much more than he bargained for. (Such, such, SUCH a good movie and I see like NO fans for it on tumblr which is upsetting because I love it a lot, don’t want to give away anything but it takes some turns and deserves more fans. ALSO David Hyde Pierce kills it in this movie.)

Dead And Breakfast. A group of friends get lost on the way to a wedding out of town and end up stuck in the small town of Love Locke after a murder takes place in the bed and breakfast they stayed at. (I have made mention of it before but this movie. Thiiiiiis movie is one of my all time faves, campy, out there, funny, ZOMBIES! Also we STAN the cowboy narrator who comes in and sings what is happening throughout the movie.)

Club Dread. Island get away resort for college kids, run and hosted by very obviously supposed to be Jimmy Buffet, Coconut Pete, is being terrorized by a killer that is only going after the staff. The staff have to do their jobs and act normal or the killer will start going after the guests all while trying to figure out who is behind it. (I re-watched this recently and was reminded JUST how much I love it? It’s done by Broken Lizard the same people who did Super Troopers and it is very funny and very dumb in the best way. So many iconic lines in that movie and Bill Paxton is always a treat. “This is great. There is a killer on the loose and you are throwing a bloody pinata’ party!” “....The slash on the body was left to right, left to right, I’m lookiNG FOR THE LEFT HANDED KILLER YOU IDIOT!” “...ah.”)

Planet Terror. An experimental bio-weapon is released causing zombie like creatures and a group of people have to try escape the effected area. (I love this movie...SO DAMN MUCH! Like it was my fave movie for well over three years and just it is too good? I had my young gay awakening to Rose McGowan in this movie, her portrayal of Cherry Darling is just amazing and Robert Rodriguez is one of my fave directors just EVER.)

Repo! The Genetic Opera! In the future organ failure has run rampant, Gene-Co comes along to save the day and provide life saving organs for people, after paying to get a law passed that says if you miss your organ payments they can be repossessed however things get wild. (THIS MOVIE! AH! It is a musical, there needs to BE more horror musicals. It is terrible and wonderful and amazing and just I cannot with how much I adore this movie?!)

Sweeney Todd The Demon Barber of Fleet Street. Man is thrown out of London so a terrible corrupt judge can try to steal his wife for himself, 15 years later our man comes back to take revenge. (Another horror musical, MORE HORROR MUSICALS PLEASE! I love it, all the songs are amazing, Pretty Women fucks me up to this day, big recommend.)

Quick Round Of Zombie Faves Because I AM A Slut for Zombie Movies:

Dawn Of The Dead Remake. Shaun Of The Dead. 28 Days Later. Zombieland. Undead Or Alive. Zombie Strippers. 

MY GOD THIS IS LONG! But yeah here you go, hopefully this is long enough you can find SOMETHING that you like in here! ALSO THANK YOU FOR ASKING THIS!!!

[peterstanslizzie]

Re-watching Lizzie Mcguire: Episode 1.23 (Last Year’s Model)

“You like me, you really like me”. She didn’t say this but I feel this is the perfect description for this picture lol

- The Mcguire family’s got mail! Besides the generic ones like bills, Matt receives a letter that contains a $50 gift certificate from his grandma, Gammy Mcguire for his birthday. 

- But she seemed to forget when Matt’s birthday is because she had already gifted him his present 7 months ago. I still would like to see Gammy actually appear on-screen and interact with her family. But we are never going to get that I’m afraid. 

- As for Lizzie, she asks her mom if she could participate in a fashion show organised by ‘Teen Attitude’ magazine. If she’s chosen by them, she will receive $500 worth of merchandise. I would definitely want to do that fashion show just for the perks. Her mom seems to be on board as long as she does her homework and stops picking on Matt.

Lizzie says sure but we all know that she’s not going to do one of the two promises lol

Lizzie The Runway Model

Remember when fashion shows back then were all fun and joyful and the models always used to spin around? Nowadays, most models just look so miserable.

- Gordo seems to be on-board with the whole modeling thing for Lizzie, mostly because of the $500. Isn’t he the type of person who views modeling as superficial? I also wonder why Miranda wasn’t interested in trying out for the fashion show?

- Mr. Dig, their substitute teacher suddenly interrupts their conversation and went off on a tangent by talking about the time he gave advice to a model by the name of Colette Romana, whose face was broken when an elephant sat on her face in Nairobi.....okayyy

Mr. Dig is really odd but I do appreciate his honesty with the kids when it comes to life lessons 

- Next, we move on to the ‘Styling’ and Sassy’ fashion show! Lizzie’s parents, her friends and even Kate Sanders plus Ethan Craft are in the audience. Can I just say that Lizzie totally rocked the runway!? She really fits the typical girl-next-door look the fashion show was trying to showcase and not to mention, I love the fact that an S Club 7 song (Everybody Wants Ya) is playing in the background too!

Work that twirl girlfriend!

- Kate is clearly jealous that she couldn’t do the fashion show because she had to go to a funeral. Wow Kate, way to hit a new low this time. But I must say; Kate would’ve have been great for this because she certainly has the height for the runway. 

Everybody Is Acting Weird Around Lizzie

- After the fashion show, Lizzie tells her friends that she was asked to do another fashion show due to her amazing performance. Gordo then makes a joke with her, reminding her to not forget about them when she becomes famous and all of a sudden, Lizzie forgets his name when addressing him...umm what? Hope she wasn’t kidding when she did that.

- After that, we see this girl who sat with Kate and Ethan in the fashion show approach Lizzie and invites her to her dad’s clubhouse to hang out in the hot tub and watch the new Backstreet Boys DVD. This show is definitely old lmao!

Okay, this girl’s name is Jessica. I had to fast forward to figure that out.

- Lizzie hesitates to say yes because she already made plans with Gordo and Miranda to watch a movie but turns out, both her friends are very eager to join Lizzie at the country club and hang out with the popular kids. Even Gordo!

- We are then taken to the clubhouse and our trio is seen chilling in the hot tub. Gordo is mostly enjoying the free food being served. I can definitely relate to him. What’s surprising me right now is how Kate’s acting all cool and friendly in front of Lizzie.

What a sudden change in attitude! She’s now acting as if Lizzie is a legit celebrity, which she isn’t. I don’t get it.

- It’s not just with Kate; Miranda is also acting different around Lizzie. She offers to bring a drink over to Lizzie and basically recites the entire drinks menu. She’s acting like Lizzie’s personal assistant. But wow, Miranda actually seems to have a great memory when it comes to listing things out. 

- Back at the hot tub, Gordo is talking to Jessica and tells her he has videos of Lizzie that he has shot for his short films/documentaries. He offers to come over to her house to show her some of them to which she says yes, as long as he brings Lizzie along. 

Why is Gordo the only one wearing shades? It’s either he has sensitive eyes or he just wants to look cool, which isn’t something Gordo would do

- And just like that, Lizzie is going to watch videos at Jessica’s on Sunday night without agreeing to it. On top of that, she’s apparently going dancing at the ‘Shango Tango’ on Saturday night with them as well. Basically, they want to use Lizzie’s status as a model to grant them access to these places. She did one fashion show and they’re acting like she’s Gigi Hadid or whatever lol

Lizzie’s Famous Now

- At school, everyone is just staring at Lizzie everywhere she goes. Even Kate goes up to her and compliments her outfit and accessories. 

“My earrings match my eyes?”. This line is definitely memorable to me. 

- Plus, it seems like the tables have turned because Lizzie and Ethan have literally switched characters. When Lizzie is talking to him about an English test they just took, he’s acting like the old Lizzie when she’s around him; all awkward and fidgety. 

- Lizzie notices all of this and tells her friends how everyone is acting so different around her. Miranda and Gordo doesn’t view this as a negative; They like the fact that people are noticing them now and inviting them to all sorts of special events/parties. 

- After running away from the other students who were all just staring at her still, Lizzie hides in a room where Mr. Dig is and he then takes a picture of Lizzie to have it signed so he can sell it to his nephew...and niece. Well, putting that aside, Lizzie rants to her teacher how everyone and even her best friends are treating her differently nowadays since the fashion show. 

- Mr. Dig suggests to Lizzie that she should treat them like how a celeb diva would and treat them like dirt. This is to remind them that they are her friends and not her posse. 

Lizzie Brings Out Her Inner Diva

- Gordo and Miranda arrive at Lizzie’s house and Lizzie commences “Operating Superstar Brat” by acting like a total diva towards her friends. She’s even dressed up like one from head to toe. 

Even worse, Gordo and Miranda follow her orders and starts to bark like dogs, albeit their execution was a little sloppy lol.

- Soon after, Lizzie drops her act and tells her friends that they have changed. They clearly realise this and promise to Lizzie that things will go back to normal and they won’t act like her posse anymore. But the problem is, everyone else is still treating her differently. And this is the solution she came up with:

To act like a complete and utter fool on the runway. 

- I have to give props to Lizzie for having the courage to dress up like this and act this way in front of an audience. But if I were her, I wouldn’t want to give up a modeling contract with a popular magazine just because people are acting differently around me. I mean, I would at least give it more time to see if the situation would improve. Most of all, I wouldn’t want to embarrass myself publicly like how Lizzie did here. 

- Also, she didn’t have to include this dumb confrontation between her and Miranda. It just wasn’t necessary.

Y’all didn’t need to fight. The fashion show was already ruined when Lizzie started scratching her butt lol

B-Plot: Matt Goes Shopping

- Sam and Jo brings Matt and Lanny to the hardware/electronics store to shop for things he can get with the $50 gift certificate. Lanny gravitates towards the massage chair but it’s way too expensive. We then get a montage of the boys and Matt’s parents trying out different products at the store to the song, ‘Shopping’ by the Pet Shop Boys. It’s a pretty catchy song if you ask me. 

My favorite part of the montage is when they reference back to the Austin Powers’ villains, Dr. Evil and Mini-Me 

- Matt spots a hammock priced at $75 and he thinks it’s perfect for him. Even though it costs $25 more, Lanny is able to cover the rest because he’s earning money from his website. My question is, what kind of content is in Lanny’s website anyways?

- Back in the Mcguires’ backyard, Matt and Lanny are busy assembling the hammock they just bought but unfortunately for them, they got less than stellar results:

Exhibit A

- They are back at the store again and they want to return the hammock and get a refund. However, the store clerk, who is being a total prick tells them that they can’t get a refund on sale items. Okay fine but he needs to watch his tone when talking to customers. And he even called Sam an ‘old timer’. The disrespect! Sheeesh!

And the award for worst customer service goes to...

- Sam leaves behind Matt and Lanny to talk to the manager and afterwards, we see the two boys doing the absolute right thing by playing a prank on the useless employee who is walking on the treadmill. They proceed to tape his hands onto both handles and increase the speed on the treadmill. I’m not the one to agree with pranking others but this guy really deserved it.

Overall Thoughts

- This is yet again, a very entertaining episode. I love how the story was very Lizzie-centric this time and it did not disappoint. I mean, it was a little outrageous how EVERYONE was acting and treating Lizzie like a total A-lister after appearing in one fashion show. It’s like they assumed that everybody reads ‘Teen Attitude’ magazine.

- It kinda got me to think that maybe after the events of The Lizzie Mcguire Movie, I would assume that everyone at school would treat her similarly because she did perform a hit song in front of millions of people in Italy, which I’m sure it caught the attention of US mainstream media.

- Besides that, the soundtrack of this episode was incredible! I had to look up the songs on YouTube because they were so catchy. Lastly, Matt’s storyline was pretty insignificant in this episode and it didn’t really provide me with anything besides some physical comedy.

[inevitably-johnlocked]

Hello, what's the most recent fanfiction you've read?

HAHAHAH OKAY SO. I was legit just going to do “Last XX Bookmarked Fics”, but then I checked when I last did this list and it was in November 2017. I usually wait until people ask me this very question before I post them up. After some deliberation… WE’RE DOING ALL the bookmarks I’ve saved since my last one over a year ago! I’ve been reading longer fics lately and RE-READING some faves because I have this thing where if I read ONE fic I don’t enjoy, I go on this huge spree where I re-read a lot of my bookmarks to counter it, hence why I’ve only under 100 bookmarks in over 1 year, LOL. Anyway, enjoy, in word-count order as per usual! These are ALL fantastic reads, so check them all out!!

I-J’s LAST 86 BOOKMARKED FICS (Nov. 2017 to Jan. 2019)

John Will Never Forget by gelos (bia_mpinto) (NR, 244 w. || Fluff, First Time, Love Confessions) – John will never forget Sherlock’s everything.

New World, Old Words by thedeafwriter (G, 641 w. || Deaf Sherlock, Sherlock Whump, Pining Sherlock, Marriage Proposal, Fluff, Always John) – It was disconcerting to experience. One second, he was laying on the table, breathing in the gas that would make him sleep, the next, he was dragging his eyes open to look around the bright room, trying to wake up.

New Year, New Beginning by DaisyFairy (T, 810 w. || New Year’s Eve, John POV, Post S4, Friends to Lovers) – New Year at a crime scene and John makes a decision.

Bands by dragonQuill907 (T, 1,017 w. || Established Relationship, POV Sherlock, Anxious Sherlock) – “Her wedding ring. Ten years old at least. The rest of her jewelry has been regularly cleaned, but not her wedding ring. State of her marriage right there. The inside of the ring is shinier than the outside – that means it’s regularly removed. The only polishing it gets is when she works it off her finger.”

The First Night by TheForerunner (NR, 1,043 w. || First Time, Fluff, Non-Explicit, Prose, ACD Canon) – When all was over, Sherlock reached to dress again and John reached to stop him. They sat at opposite ends of the bed and one set of eyes surveyed the other’s set of limbs, and they were quiet in the downbeat, melody suspended. Sherlock was sheepish, and this confused John, who now smelled of his companion and felt they were part of one another.

Secrets by 796116311389 (G, 1,084 w. || Drunk Sherlock, Drunk Confessions, Angst, Fluff, Happy Ending, Pining Sherlock) – “He is the best person in the world and sometimes I get sad because I’m not. Not his best person.”

I love you, I say by khoshekhskitten (G, 1,576 w. || Pre & Post TRF, Hurt / Comfort, First Kiss, Love Confessions) – “I love you” is a phrase that follows John Watson through his life with Sherlock Holmes.

Lost and Found by jaradel (G, 1,750 w. || Post-HLV, John Whump, Est. Rel., Hurt/Comfort) – He’s honestly not sure what’s worse, right now - being where he is, the beaten kidnap victim, or being where Sherlock is, trying to rescue him before it’s too late. Unwillingly his mind offers up the image of Sherlock in a video message, tied to a chair, bruised and bloodied. John squeezes his eyes shut to hold back tears. No, he decides. That would be so much worse.

Like Euphoria and Scotch by FinAmour (M, 1,856 w. || TSo3 Fix It, Five and Ones, Drinking, Pining, Second Person POV Sherlock, Armchair Sex, Cracky and Fluff, Sherlock’s Imagination, Happy Ending) – 5 different ways it all could have gone + the one way it actually works itself out.

Hear No Evil, Speak No Evil by PipMer (T, 1,895 w. || Deaf John, Mute Sherlock, Friends to Lovers, Romance, Fluff and Angst, Character Study, Morse Code, Love Confessions) – John is deaf. Sherlock is mute. There are no two people more suited for each other.

The Lie-In by KendylGirl (M, 2,000 w. || POV Sherlock,  Bed Sharing, Fluff, True Love, Introspection) – Five months after his return, John and Sherlock spend a day in bed. Part 2 of When to Let Go

Husband by jinglebell (E, 2,003 w. || Est. Rel., PWP, Anal, Multiple Orgasms, Fluff) – Sherlock orgasms when John refers to him as ‘husband’.

Hell or High water by bluefire301175 (E, 2,250 w. || PWP, Frottage, Alley Sex, First Person POV John, Case-ish Fic, Mutual Pining, Bed Sharing) – John wants. Sherlock wants. Plain and simple.

A Study in Lace by KarlyAnne (E, 2,320 w. || Est. Rel., Crafty Sherlock, Tiny Lace Panties / Lingerie, Domestics, Experiments, Oral, Masturbation) – “Why do you suppose he was doing that?” “Why do I suppose who was doing what?” “The room. The lace. The secrecy. He was playing with fire in everything he did, and didn’t care one bit. But he had a secret chamber, carefully concealed, solely for the purpose of making lace lingerie. Obviously for personal use. Why?“ Part 1 of The Unintentional Crafts of Sherlock Holmes

Thief by KendylGirl (M, 2,430 w. || Rev. Reich., Heavy Angst, Regret, Grief / Mourning, Pining Sherlock, Implied Drug Use, Self-Flagellation) – John has been gone for four months, and Sherlock is not dealing well with it. When he finds a personal item of John’s, the situation reaches a crisis. Part 3 of When to Let Go

Undercurrents by entanglednow (E, 2,996 w. || Disturbing Things, Crime Scene Fetish, Pseudo-Necrophilia, PWP, Masturbation) – “There, that’s it, perfect, shut your eyes and don’t move - and don’t speak.”

Untouched by KittieHill (E, 3,239 w. || Kissing, Frottage, Virgin Sherlock, Body Worship, Sherlock’s Scars Mentioned, Masturbation, PWP, Rimming, Multiple Orgasms) – Sherlock leaked a lot. John had never needed lubricant. John loved watching it, had once spent an entire afternoon edging Sherlock so he could watch as the thick precome drip, drip, dripped onto Sherlock’s belly.

Wish I Was In Heaven Sitting Down by standbygo (M, 3,282 w. || Post-S4, Five Plus One, Missing Scenes, Parenthood, First Kiss, Friends to Lovers, Cuddling & Snuggling, Hurt/Comfort, Declarations of Love, Fluff, Food, John Whump) – Five times when Sherlock and John ate together, and one time they didn’t. A history of the boys, in food.

The Bee Charmer by dreadpiratewatson (M, 3,314 w. || Est. Rel., Captain / Soldier John, Idiots in Love, Domestics, John in the Army) – Greg goes to 221B to check up on Sherlock after a strange phone call pulls him away from an important case, and is stunned to find himself in front of a gun brandishing soldier with a sleeping Sherlock on his chest. John Watson is a doctor, a war hero, a husband, and the only one in the world who can soften Sherlock’s heart.

Apodyopsis by QuinnAnderson (E, 3,347 w. || PWP, Rough Sex, Table Sex, Anal, Sexual Tension) – Apodyopsis: (æpəʊdaɪˈɒpsɪs) noun. the act of mentally undressing someone. Part 2 of Undressed

Paranoia by Ewebie (M, 3,789 w. || Humour, Drinking Games, Scotland Yard Gang, Jealous / Posessive Sherlock, Inappropriate Questions, Embarrassed John, Matchmakers) – John and Sherlock join the gang of Scotland Yard for a night of drinking, and it gets a bit personal and revealing.

Coldness/Heat by agirlsname (E, 3,790 w. || Cuddling & Snuggling, Body Heat, New Year’s Eve, PWP, Bedsharing, Frottage) – The inn is booked up on New Year’s Eve. The train home is cancelled because of the snow. The only option is to sleep in the non-heated guest room of a client, and John and Sherlock are freezing.You know where this is going. Part 1 of New Year’s Kiss

Jukebox by standbygo (T, 3,990 w. || Fluff, Singing/Music, Sherlock’s Mind Palace, Hurt/Comfort, Humour, Friends to Lovers, First Kiss) – After the music halls of Sherlock’s mind palace get damaged by accident, John learns that Sherlock never forgets a song. Even the ones he’d rather forget. But the random singalong brings some unexpected benefits.

Tree Topper by May_Shepard (E, 4,017 w. || Christmas Tree, Christmas Fluff, Drunken Shenanigans, Smut, First Time, Friends to Lovers) – Sherlock and John are celebrating Christmas the best way they know how–alone together, with booze. They’ve almost finished decorating their tree, but John is determined to find the best way to top it.

Things That You Can’t Say Tomorrow Day by PsychGirl (T, 4,022 w. || Post S4, POV John, Cuddling / Snuggling, Hypothermia, Snowed In, Angst, Romance, First Kiss/Time) – Things go horribly wrong while John and Sherlock are on a mission for Mycroft. Now they’re out in the woods in the middle of winter with no coats and no shelter. However will they stay warm?

Lingerie by Sexxica (E, 4,135 w. || Valentine’s Day, Lingerie / Women’s Underwear, Mildly Public Masturbation, Picture Texting / Sexting, Bottomlock, Body Worship, Anal Sex / Fingering, Rimming, Orgasm Delay / Denial, Est. Rel.) – It’s Valentines Day and Sherlock is taking John to Angelo’s for dinner. Sherlock also happens to be wearing a garter belt, stockings and a rather small pair of women’s underwear under his clothes. There’s no dessert at Angelo’s because John needs to get Sherlock home just as quickly as he can before they both lose their minds entirely.

If He Knows by shamelessmash (M, 4,513 w. || TSo3 Fic, Pining Sherlock, Bed Sharing, Angst, Sherlock POV, Texting, Internal Monologue, Blanket Forts) – I imagine mornings: John handing me a cup of tea, hair sticking out at odd angles. How he would bend down to kiss me, smiling fondly as he pulls away. The way his skin crinkles at the corner of his eyes, the way his skin looks in the morning light. The soft sigh as he sits in his chair with the morning paper, the way his toes curl in the carpet, the way he rolls his shoulders before sinking deeper into his seat. I watch him, how he is when he is content, as it should be. As he deserves. Happy. With me.

Captain John Watson, Genetics, and Other Crazy Things by cyerus (M, 5,581 w. || Torchwood Crossover ||  Humour / Crack, Jealous Sherlock, Sexual Magnet John, Captain John, UST / RST, Three Continents Watson) – The explanation for John “Three Continents” Watson? Jack Harkness is his father. Sherlock doesn’t know whether he’s going to die from jealousy or sexual frustration first.

Times Two by WhimsicalEthnographies (E, 5,595 w. || Sherlock’s Mind Palace, Victorian John, Modern John, Sherlock has a Good Imagination, PWP, Bottomlock, Spitroasting) – “But you’re not that John…”“Of course I am,” John’s lips and mustache brush against Sherlock’s mouth as he talks. “All us Johns are that John, now. That John is in every room in your Palace.” He leans in for another messy kiss, tongue swirling all around the inside of Sherlock’s mouth. “In fact,” he moves to suck on the sensitive skin underneath Sherlock’s ear. “I think I hear him coming right now.”

The Only Available Transportation by blueink3 (T, 5,379 w. || Post S4, Fluff and Angst, Insecure Sherlock, Caring John, Parentlock, Sherlock’s Birthday, Family, Misunderstandings) – It’s possibly the desperation that’s seeped into his voice despite his best intentions, or perhaps it’s just a mother’s intuition, but she knows that whatever he’s calling about is Serious, hangover be damned. “What’s happened?” she asks, tone soft and as comforting as a hot cup of tea on a cold winter’s night. “Mummy,” he begins, voice catching. “I think John may be moving out.”

Talk by illwick (E, 6,364 w. || Dirty Talk, John’s Giant Junk, PWP, Light BDSM, Size Kink, Oral / Anal, Rough Sex, Dirty Talk, Established Rel.) – Sherlock was never much for dirty talk… until an unexpected visit yields unexpected results. Part 20 of Unwind

5687 (Approximately) by prettysailorsoldier (T, 6,771 w. || Est. Rel., Alternate Canon, Christmas, Pining, Fluff, Soldier John) – When John’s leave request for Christmas is denied, Sherlock is nothing short of devastated, not that he’s letting it show. The holiday season now something he’s just waiting to end, Sherlock doesn’t think anything can possibly make it worse. That is, until he realizes no one in his life believes his army “boyfriend” is even real, but, luckily, everyone is in for a surprise. Part 13 of 25 Days of Johnlock

A Kiss and a Cuddle should be Sufficient by Evenlodes_Friend (E, 6,853 w. || Gay Sex Club, Fake Relationship, PWP, Orgies, Rimming, BJ’s, Violence, Case Fic, Voyeurism) – Going undercover, Sherlock and John pursue a vicious killer to a gay group sex party. Not unexpectedly, things get a little out of hand. Set after Baskerville, but before the Fall.

Full Disclosure by Itsallfine (E, 7,032 w. || Bars & Pubs, Fake Relationship, First Kiss / Time, Love Confessions, John’s Army Mates, Three Continents Watson, Semi-Public Sex) – John’s army mates get together for the first time post-discharge and invite John “Three Continents” Watson to join them. If John shows up alone, he knows he’ll be the object of non-stop ridicule all night. Sherlock plays along. John tests the waters.

where the good things grow by anchors (M, 7,066 w. || Tea Shop AU || Alternate First Meeting, Magical Realism, Gardens, Tea, Friends to Lovers) – “I have a magic garden.” As come-ons go, John’s heard worse.

Speak My Language by Itsallfine (T, 7,479 w. || Thanksgiving, Love Languages, Love Confessions, First Kiss, John Experiments in Sherlock) – When Mrs. Hudson introduces John and Sherlock to the concept of the five love languages, Sherlock descends into a dark mood and John’s curiosity gets the better of him. What is Sherlock’s love language, and why does the whole concept set him so on edge? Part 1 of A Holiday Triptych

The doctor is in by PlainJane (E, 7,581 w. || Omegaverse || Sex Therapist, Anal, Hand Jobs, Frottage, Virgin Sherlock) – Sherlock is a young alpha with an aversion to his cycle. John is a gender medicine specialist. Nothing could possibly go wrong… Part 1 of Doctors and detectives

On Favors and Keeping Score by Ewebie (G, 7,622 w. || Hurt/Comfort, Sick Fic, Fluff, John Whump) –  John woke up to the horribly unpleasant sound of his clock alarm. Which meant he’d slept through his phone’s alarm. And for a moment he glared blearily at the noisemaker before smacking at it with his palm. Ugh, he felt like rubbish. The back of his throat was burning with the irritation that heralded a proper dose, his nose was threatening to drip every few seconds, and he had the uncomfortable flush that normally suggested a fever. Nothing high, just uncomfortable. Nothing deadly, just irritating. Nothing worth calling in sick with, just a full day of discomfort in the face of other people’s discomfort. It was going to be a day where he was forced to bite his tongue from telling people off. “You’re not as sick as I am, so off you pop.” Part 7 of Tumblr Shorts

On the Steadfast Approach of an Oncoming Darkness by 2bee (T, 7,772 w. || Apocalypse, Minor Character Death, Sort of Parentlock) – The world is ending. Not fast, but slowly, like falling asleep with a fever.

Caves in the Mountains Are Seldom Unoccupied by starrysummernights & TheMadKatter13 (E, 7,925 w. || Were-Creatures, Werebear John, Pseudo Bestiality, Rimming, Dub Con, Rough Sex, Come Inflation / Eating, Size Kink, PWP, Bratty Sherlock, Rutting) – “This isn’t something to play at, Sherlock,” he snapped. “If it doesn’t work out- what you’re asking of me- we can’t shrug and say ‘oh well, at least we tried’. If we do this… I could seriously hurt you. Do you understand? I could lose control. I could… I could kill you.” (This one is… REALLY REALLY kinky, heavy dub-con warning)

Every Night I Look for You by destinationtoast (E, 8,377 w. || POV John, Post-TRF, Angst, Mystery, Unsafe Sex, BAMF John) – Every night, John looks for familiar hints of Sherlock in the men he meets in bars, and he does with them all the things he wishes he’d done before. Eventually, he stumbles into a situation that Sherlock would know how to handle, and John must decide whether he can handle it without him.

Galapogos by anchors (E, 8,460 w. || Hurt/Comfort, Angst, 5 and 1, John Whump) – Somewhere in the depths of the universe, and somewhere in the middle of Sherlock’s chest, a star goes into supernova.

He’s Not Paid Enough to Deal with This Shit by janonny (T, 9,828 w. || Personal Assistant AU || Humour, First Meetings, Snarky John) – One of the first things John did was to write up step-by-step instructions on how to conduct a proper job interview before handing it over to Mycroft for his perusal. There were no kidnapping, deserted car parks or stolen therapy notes anywhere on that list. (Or the one where John returned from the war and ended up working for Mycroft as his personal assistant slash doctor on retainer. Everything was fine, until he was sent to post bail for one Sherlock Holmes.)

How To Give Your Boyfriend Who Doesn’t Know He’s Your Boyfriend the Best Valentine’s Day Ever by unicornpoe (T, 9,832 w. || Valentine’s Day, Fluff and Crack, Soft Sherlock, POV Sherlock) – Sherlock is pretty sure that John Watson is his boyfriend. He’s also pretty sure that John doesn’t know it. But with a little help from a magazine, some friends, three crepes, five dates, one awesome CD, and a stalker van, John is bound to realize just in time for Valentine’s Day.

Rainbow Hearts Retreat by PajamaSecrets (E, 11,638 w. || Fake Relationship, Case Fic, Undercover, Fluff and Smut, Bed-Sharing, Therapy, Humour/Crack, First Time) – “It’s a same-sex couples retreat. For those experiencing troubles in their relationship. Consists of group and couples therapy as well as encouraging socialization between the couples. It’s all in their incredibly dull brochure.” “Rainbow Hearts Retreat,” John read. “Sounds… quite gay.”

And Here We Are by J_Baillier (T, 12,416 w. || ASiP Fic, Alternating First Person POV, Drama, Friendship, Mild Case Fic, Autism Spectrum Sherlock, Insecure Sherlock, Protective John, Pining, Homophobia, Loneliness, Angst, Humour, Domestics, Morbid Fluff, Kidnapping) – All the little things we never got to see when an army doctor and a consulting detective were adjusting to sharing a flat. And a life.

Fucking Cake by Random_Nexus (E, 12,965 w. || Pre-Slash, Humour/Crack, Inanimate Object Smut, Frottage, “For a Case” / “Experiment”, PWP / Kinky, Mutual Pining, Fluff) – Sherlock brings home a chocolate cake, John finds him about to have sex with said cake, then exceedingly weird hijinx ensue. Part 1 of “Fucking Baked Goods” - Sherlock BBC

The Nutcracker by Odamaki (T, 13,758 w. || Nutcracker AU ||  Christmas, Dark Magic, Dolls) – Sherlock is unimpressed with Uncle Rudy’s present. A doll? What does he want with a doll?

I Will Take Care Of You by SailorChibi (T, 16,664 w. || Hurt/Comfort, Sick Sherlock, BAMF John, BAMF Lestrade, Reunion Fic) – Two years after Sherlock’s death, John comes to find him on the sofa. Wounded and ill, Sherlock is convinced he’s hallucinating and refuses to share any details about Moran or the fact that Mycroft has been compromised. That doesn’t stop John from stepping up and taking care of the last of Moriarty’s web, BAMF-style.

Software Malfunction by tiger_in_the_flightdeck (E, 16,679 w. || Android Sherlock, Love Story, Unhappy Ending, Angst) – “You think I can’t love you? Just because you’re made with metal, and detailed programming?” The doctor propped himself on his elbow, and looked down at it. “I am nothing but blood and bone, and tissue. Things just managed get mashed together in a manner that made me like this. Just like you were put together to make you how you are. When I kiss you-” he did so, briefly, to prove his point. Then more deeply, and lingering, because he could. “When I touch you, or smile at you, does it make you feel different from when others have done it in the past?”

Best of Three by SilentAuror (E, 17,473 w. || POV John, 3G Moment, Porn with Feels, Post HLV, Rimming, Denial, Anal) – “You want to have sex with me,” Sherlock announces one evening about a year after John’s divorce. John’s vigorous denial sparks a three-day wager wherein Sherlock is determined to prove his point, and John is determined to hold onto his heterosexuality. Set well after HLV. (Canon-compliant). PORN. With feels.

Between Friends by SilentAuror (E, 18,036 w. || Post S3, Alternating POV, Friends to Lovers, John in Denial, Abduction, Awkward Situations / Miscommunications, Porn With Feels, Blowjobs, Pining, Unrequited, Angst With Happy Ending) – Sherlock gets abducted. As John discovers him tied up naked in an empty storage facility and comes to rescue him, Sherlock’s body has an unfortunate reaction which triggers a series of events. John is convinced that everything will be fine as long as they never discuss it. Sherlock isn’t as sure…

Uncharted Territory by J_Baillier (T, 19,603 w. || Dystopian Future / Black Mirror AU || Alternate First Meeting, Angst, Drama, Homophobia, Bisexuality, Technology, Humour, Romance, Near Future, Happy Ending) – The System puts people through a series of assigned relationships in order to determine who their Perfect Match is. John believes that it works; Sherlock really, really doesn’t. One of them is probably going to be wrong.

whiskies neat by Ellipsical (E, 20,660 w. || Alternate First Meeting, POV Second Person Sherlock, Slow Burn, One Night Stand, Rimming, Blow Jobs, Anal, Soldier John, Crying, Emotional Lovemaking, Switchlock) – Home and hearth and whiskies neat, or, alternatively, Sherlock Holmes falls in love.

When to Let Go by KendylGirl (M, 22,109 w. || Friends to Lovers, Reverse Reichenbach, Sacrifice, Forgiveness, Angst, Love, Implied Drug Use) – What if it were John who had to die to thwart Moriarty’s plans? John’s supposed death shatters Sherlock, and when he returns, it will challenge the pair to forge a path of forgiveness, to peace, and to find a way back to each other. Part 1 of When to Let Go

Dropping the Act by jadztone (T, 27,258 w. || Parentlock, Fake Relationship, Mary’s Family, Post-S4, Cuddling & Snuggling, Bed Sharing, Pining, Christmas) – Sherlock and John are quite happy living together with Rosie in Baker St. They might be even happier if they didn’t act towards each other like their love is only platonic. Mycroft brings troubling news in the form of Mary’s parents wanting to know just what their grandchild’s home life is like. The boys decide to spend Christmas pretending like they are in love in order to seem more like a “normal” family. It’s easy enough to pretend when all you’re doing is dropping the act.

Another Auld Lang Syne by DiscordantWords (M, 30,234 w. || Post S4, Mutual Pining, Alternating POV, Introspection, Parentlock, Christmas, New Year’s, First Kiss, Past Drug Use, Angst with Happy Ending, Drinking, Sherlock Whump) – There had been years of missed chances.

Love or What You Will by miss_frankenstein (T, 31,987 w. || College/Uni AU || Professor John, Ph.D Student Sherlock, Pining John, Poetry, Falling in Love / Slow Burn, Light Angst, Happy Ending) – John is an English professor who specializes in War and Post-War Literature and Sherlock is the brilliant yet impossible Ph.D. student assigned to be his TA because no one in the Chemistry Department is willing to put up with him. And - somewhere between Waugh and Plath, e-mails and takeaway, novels and villanelles - they fall in love.

Chaperones by MissDavis (T, 34,114 w. || 11 Years Post-S4, Fake Relationship, Parentlock, Disney World, Bed / Room Sharing, Friends to Lovers, Fluff, First Kiss, Obsessive Sherlock, Insecure John) – Right. Of course. Everyone assumed they were a couple and no one would question it. John put his elbows up on the table so he could rest his head in his hands. “You want to pretend to be a couple so we can chaperone a trip to Disney World with Rosie’s class and you won’t have to share a room with a stranger?” “Exactly.” Sherlock beamed at him. “Don’t worry about the cost. The Birmingham case last month paid more than enough to cover expenses for all three of us.”

Malediction by MapleleafCameo (M, 36,680 w. || Ladyhawke AU || Magical Realism, Romance, Curses, Eventual Happy Ending) – Cursed to a half-life, John and Sherlock must fight the forces of evil to be reunited once again.

The Unfinished Letters by SilentAuror (E, 37,391 w. || Post S3 / S3 / HLV Fix it, Angst with Happy Ending, Romance, Infidelity, Depression, Case Fic, POV Third Person Sherlock, Love Confessions, Pining Sherlock, Letters) – A fire at Baker Street leads John to read something he was never intended to see: a notebook of half-written, unfinished letters Sherlock wrote during his time away…

Nothing to Make a Song About by emmagrant01 (E, 36,833 w. || Post-TRF, First Time, Reunion, Jealous John, Pining Sherlock, Romance, Angst with Happy Ending) – When Sherlock returned from his faked death, John could not forgive him for the deception and broke off their friendship. Ten years later, John returns to London in search of yet another new beginning. Sherlock, not surprisingly, is waiting.

Set in Stone by SilentAuror (E, 39,309 w. || Romance, Wedding, Therapy, Fluff and Angst) – Sherlock and John are back from Ravine Valley and planning their wedding. However, as they move past the trial of the human traffickers, Sherlock can’t help but wonder if he’s imagining that John is becoming a little distant. Surely he isn’t getting cold feet about the wedding… Part 2 of The Ravine Valley series

In the Still of the Night by SilentAuror (E, 42,234 w. || S4 Fix It / Post-S4, Sherlock POV, Angst, Drama, Romance, Virgin Sherlock, Awkwardness, Misunderstandings / Miscommunications, Case Fic, Travelling, Pining) – As locals on the Northeastern coast begin to report UFO sightings, life at Baker Street becomes significantly awkward as John brings up his desire for more than friendship and Sherlock refuses him. They embark on the investigation from the confines of the tiny cottage Mycroft has rented for them, attempting to navigate both the clues of the case as well as their own inability to communicate…

Bloody But Unbowed by BeautifulFiction (E, 43,211 w. || Abduction, John Whump, Mild Torture, Background Case Fic, Friends to Lovers, Post-TRF / S3 Rewrite, Hurt/Comfort) – When a familiar argument threatens to destroy the last remnants of John and Sherlock’s failing friendship, both men are left questioning their worth to one another. Before either of them has the chance to make amends, circumstance intervenes. John is left at the mercy of his abductors, and this time, he’s not sure Sherlock will bother coming to his rescue.

Lost Without My Blogger by starrysummernights (E, 52,155 w. || Rev. Reich, PTSD, Hurt / Comfort, Fluff / Angst, Psychological Torture, Reunion Fic, Friends to Lovers) – John is abducted and declared dead. How will Sherlock cope without his blogger? How will he react when John comes back from the “dead?” Drama and angst with a healthy dose of romance. Part 1 of I’d Be Lost Without My Blogger

floating through a dark blue sky by Lediona (M, 58,966 w. || Notting Hilll AU || POV John, Celebrity Sherlock, First Date / Time / Kiss, Past Drug Addiction, Angst with a Happy Ending) – Of course, I’d seen his films and always thought he was, well, brilliant – but, you know, a million miles from the world I live in. Or, when John is the owner of a travel book shop and the famous Sherlock Holmes stops in one day.

The Book of Silence by SilentAuror (E, 60,056 w. || S4 Fix It / Post S4, Virgin Sherlock, Rosie / Parentlock, Domesticity, Fluff, Praise Kink, Sex Toys, First Person POV) – As spring blooms in London, John and Sherlock begin to take new cases and cautiously negotiate this new phase of life with John living at Baker Street again. Despite how well it’s all going, John struggles to forgive himself for the way he treated Sherlock following Mary’s death as well as trying to figure out how to finally put his long-time feelings for Sherlock into words. Part 1 of The Book of Silence/Rosa Felicia

Scars by SilentAuror (E, 60,493 w. || Rape / Non-Con / Abuse, Gaslighting, Manipulation, Dub Con Elements, Homophobia, Angst With Happy Ending, Mary is Not Nice) – S3 rewrite, showing Mary’s manipulation of John as he realizes his love for Sherlock. Mary is not having it.

Summit Fever by J_Baillier (M, 78,802 w. || Mountain Climber AU || POV John, Angst, Tragedy, Suicidal Ideation, The Himalayas, Mountain Guide / Doctor John, Mount Climber Sherlock, Loneliness, Drama, Suspense, Slow Burn, Injured Sherlock / Sherlock Whump, Pining John) – After graduating from medical school, John Watson followed his heart to the Himalayas. Ten years later, he’s a haunted cynic working for his ex-lover’s trekking and mountaineering company. Will leading an expedition to Annapurna I—the most lethal of all the world’s highest mountains—shake John out of his reverie, and who is the mystery client added to the group at the last minute?

Uphill by scullyseviltwin (E, 84,945 w. || Olympics AU || Sherlock POV, Skier!Sherlock / Medic!John, Rivalry, 2014 Olympics, Happy Ending) – Sherlock Holmes is striving for gold in this, his fourth and final Olympics as a downhill Alpine racer.

31_Days_of_Porn_Challenge_2017 Series by distantstarlight (E, 96,540 w. across 31 stories || Prompt Ficlets, Assorted Kinks, PWP) – A collection in response to the 31 Days of Porn Challenge issued by AtlinMerrik! Thanks for doing that because this has been buttload of fun (that joke never gets old). All stories will be brief stand-alone one-shots.

The Baker Street Nativity by SwissMiss (E, 99,662 w. || Nativity! AU || Teacher Sherlock / TA John, Pining, Sherlock POV, UST, Angst, Christmas, Music/Song Fic, Anal / BJ’s, First Kiss / Time) – Fusion between Sherlock (BBC) and Nativity! (2009 movie starring Martin Freeman). Sherlock is a primary school teacher and John is assigned to be his classroom assistant. Together, they are charged with putting on the school’s Nativity play. What could possibly go wrong? Part 1 of The Baker Street Nativity Verse

The Wedding Garments by cwb (E, 105,390 w. || Alternate Future AU || , Alternate First Meeting, Dating / Arranged Marriages, Romance, First Kiss/Time, Heavy Petting, Cuddles, POV Sherlock, Virgin Sherlock, Idiots in Love, Slow Burn / Falling in Love / Dev. Rel., Nervous/Anxious Sherlock, Jealous/Cranky, Hiking, Vacation Homes / Honeymoon, Sherlock’s Family, Horny John/Sherlock, Patient John, Massages, Hand Jobs, Assassination Plots, Hand Jobs / Oral Sex) – This is the story of a young consulting detective who wants nothing to do with marriage and an army doctor who wants to find true love. It’s 2020 post-Brexit England and the British government is encouraging arranged marriages. Candidates meet through state-run agencies and date in hopes of finding love (and tax benefits). Sherlock doesn’t need or want a spouse, at least not until John Watson shows up. Hesitant to give in to his more carnal urges because of the way they derail his mind, how will Sherlock progress toward the more intimate aspects of a relationship? The answer lies in a very special wedding gift. (I’m about a ¾ done this fic and I already know I will be bookmarking it, so here we are! Additional tags will be added to subsequent recs of this fic

Maintenance and Repair by patternofdefiance (E, 106,650 w. || FutureAU, Augmentation || Augmented John, Depression, Body Modification, Slow Burn, Worldbuilding, Sci-Fi, Self-Care, Body Dysmorphia) – John wants to explain the rush of sensation and data, which is just another form of sensation (or is it the other way around?). John wants to say:Augmentation circuits report temperature, pressure, various forms of quantitative input. Sudden changes are reported as pain, since sudden changes are dangerous, and pain is the quickest way to encourage reflexive extraction. But all John can manage is, “Nng.” Because this sudden touch is not reporting as pain. Part 2 of STATIC

A Study in Winning by Jupiter_Ash (E, 106,658 w. || Tennis AU || John POV, Dirty Talk, Mutual Pining, Misunderstandings, Happy Ending, Sherlock Speaks French, Switchlock, Wimbledon) – John and Sherlock are professional tennis players and it’s Wimbledon. One is a broken almost was at the end of his career, the other an arrogant rising star tipped for greatness. It should have been a straightforward tournament. It really should have been. How were they to know that a chance encounter would change everything? Part 1 of Tennis

Eyes Up, Heels Down by CodenameMeretricious (E, 107,845 w. || Sports Equestrian AU || Fluff, Angst, Humour, Rider!Sherlock, Groomer!John, Show Jumping, Slow Burn, Happy Ending) – Sherlock is a top eventing rider currently training at Baker Farms. John is the new groom who’s been told to steer clear of the surly rider and his horses. Part 1 of Baker Farms

The Burning Heart by May_Shepard (M, 119,150 w. || Canon Divergence, Post-TRF, John’s Sexuality, S3 Rewrite, Pining, Angst with a Happy Ending, POV John Watson, John’s Gay) – When Sherlock dies, John Watson feels like his life is over too. He’s completely shut down, until Mark Morstan, a new nurse at John’s medical clinic, catches his attention, and helps him uncover the long buried truth of his attraction to men. Although he’s certain he’ll never get over Sherlock, John plans to move on, and build a new life with Mark, unaware that Sherlock is not quite as dead as he appears, and that Mark is hiding secrets of his own.

The Swan Triad by Pennin_Ink (T, 121,660 w. across 3 works || Swan Lake AU || Magical / Fairy Tale AU, Romance, Falling in Love, Pining, Psychological Torture, Transformation) – Sherlock and John grow up spending every summer together. Their mothers’ attempts to play matchmaker only fuel their mutual resentment and scorn. But then, one summer.

The Horse and his Doctor by khorazir (T, 129,003 w. || Horse / Vet AU || Magical Realism, Horses, Vet John, Horse Sherlock, Implied Alcoholism) – Invalided after a run in with a poacher in Siberia, veterinary surgeon John Watson finds it difficult to acclimatise to the mundanity of London life. Things change when a friend invites him along to a local animal shelter and he meets their latest acquisition, a trouble-making Frisian with the strangest eyes and even stranger quirks John has ever encountered in a horse.

Colors by Quesarasara (E, 140,537 w. || Pleasantville-Inspired AU || Soulmates, Colour Bonds, Alternating POV, Angst, Fluff, Pining, Case Fic, Medical Procedures) – Everyone on earth is born with eyes that see in black, white, and an endless series of greys. When you meet your soulmate, you finally see the world in color. We’re all searching for the person who brings color to our lives. John and Sherlock are no exception. Part 1 of The Colors 'Verse

How to Build a Heart out of Ashes by Teumessian (E, 144,931 w. || Changling AU || Slow Burn, Drug Use, Mentions of Child Abuse / Bullying, Mentions of Student/Teacher Relations, Uni-Age) – In an AU where a small number of the population become Changelings at a young age, at 17 John Watson believes he’s destined for Normal life but then the Change takes him and he is sent to the Baker Institute. There he meets Sherlock Holmes.

Gimme Shelter by SinceWhenDoYouCallMe_John (E, 159,368 w. || 70′s Surfer AU || Period Typical Homophobia, Hawaii, Enemies to Friends to Lovers, Professional Surfers, Gay John / Sherlock, Angst with Happy Ending, John was a Sailor, Misunderstandings) – All John Watson wants is the feeling of a freshly waxed surfboard under his feet and the hot California sun baking down onto his back. To finally go pro in the newly formed world of professional surfing and leave the dark memories of his past behind him as he rips across the face of a towering blue barrel. To lounge beside the beach bonfire every evening with an ice cold beer tucked into the cool sand beside him and listen to Pink Floyd and the Doors while the saltwater dries in his sun bleached hair. That’s all he wants, that is, until the hot young phenom taking Oahu and the Hawaiian shores by storm steps up next to him in the sand in the second round of the 1976 International Surf Competition.

Mise en Place by azriona (M, 161,004 w. || Restaurant (Kitchen Nightmares) AU || Sherlock is Gordon Ramsay / Celebrity Sherlock, Restauranteur John, Harry Plays Prominent Role, Alternating POV, Mutual Pining, Cranky Sherlock, Bed Sharing, Slow Burn) – John Watson had no intentions of taking over the family business, but when he returns from Afghanistan, battered and bruised, and discovers that his sister Harry has run their restaurant into the ground, he doesn’t have much choice. There’s only one thing that can save the Empire from closing for good – the celebrity star of the BBC series Restaurant Reconstructed, Chef Sherlock Holmes. Part 1 of Mise en Place

Sketchy by serpentynka (E, 184,053 w. || Post-TRF, Post-Mary, John Whump, Slow Burn Love Story, Case Fic, Art, Porn With Feelings, Switchlock, Travelling, Career Change, Family Secrets, Illness / Health) – What (and who) will be left when nobody cares about your Work? A slow-burn fic with cases, places, mistaken identities, unfair choices, essential changes, violent feels, blatant lies, fearless portraiture, family secrets, high-risk bespoke gifts, durable friendships, bedtime stories, foreign travel and tongues, sickness (and health), and the significance of things which are slow to unfurl – but cannot be ignored. Oh, and…porn. Part 1: Sherlock takes on an obvious case (barely a 4) and meets someone who will force him to re-examine what it means to see. Part 1 of Sketchy

The Gilded Cage by BeautifulFiction (E, 326,887 w. || Omegaverse || Omega Sherlock / Alpha John, Friends to Lovers, Dub Con, Reproductive Rights) – In a world where Omegas are the property of the elite Alphas, locked away and treasured by those wealthy enough to buy them, John never questioned his flatmate’s secondary gender. Sherlock Holmes was an Alpha through-and through. Wasn’t he? A chance discovery turns the world on its head, and John is left grappling to come to terms with Sherlock’s past as events conspire to threaten their future. 

[makeste]

BnHA Chapter 225: Interview with a Vampire

Previously on BnHA: The Shigaraki Squad (after some debate) set out to rescue Giran from the Liberation Army’s clutches. Tomura plans to sic Gigantomachia on them, although the guy is still a-snooze for the next two and a half hours, so who even knows how that’s gonna work. Anyways though, the rest of the gang, Dabi included (over his protests), arrived at the designated meeting location in Aichi prefecture to be greeted by none other than Slidin’ Go, because apparently you can’t fucking trust anyone nowadays. He led them to the center of the town, which turned out to be populated by members of Re-Des’s army, including his top brass. Everyone attacked at once, and the League set to work kicking ass and not even bothering to take names because they’re just gonna kill everyone anyway so who cares! The chapter ended with Toga gettin’ ready to throw down with Kizuki, a.k.a. my new badass lady villain fave who can blow shit up with her mind, holy crap.

Today on BnHA: The Liberation Army continues to battle the League, confident in their eventual win, mostly because Re-Destro has somewhat smugly deduced that the League currently has no Noumu to spare. Kizuki, who is apparently a journalist, faces off against Toga and hounds her with questions about her past. Seems she’s specifically the type of journalist that likes to harass people about all of the most personal and private details of their lives. Toga sets to work stabbing all of Kizuki’s redshirt goons and sucking their blood, but this winds up backfiring as Kizuki makes brutal use of her quirk to blow up said blood. So basically she explodes Toga from the inside out. Somehow Toga doesn’t fucking die, and although I Have Questions About This, we can save that for later since the story is moving forward with or without my suspension of disbelief, and next up on the agenda is a motherfucking Toga flashback, folks.

(As always, all comments not marked with an ETA are my mostly-unspoiled reactions from my first readthrough of this chapter. I’m caught up with the manga now at chapter 226, so any ETAs will reflect that.)

hahaha

welcome to Deika City, population: villains

holy heck

so that’s how it is, huh Horikoshi. just make all of my jokes for me before I ever even get the chance. who cares if the references are American. it’s 2019 and our mangaka are international now. next up is Homestuck jokes. I feel attacked

anyway so we’re zooming in on the observation tower again. how nice. is Giran fucking dead yet I wonder

oh hey

not only is he not dead, he’s smiling and taunting RD in spite of having recently lost a hand piece by piece!

you guys. Giran is legit the most OG motherfucker in this entire series, dead to rights. I adore him

and he can’t say he wouldn’t love to watch all that unfold

by the way, getting back to that earlier panel for a second, it occurs to me that of the three “rescue” arcs we’ve had thus far, only one has featured an actual damsel, and that was a baby damsel at that. like, a six-year-old girl. so like, that was more about her being a small child than her being female. and meanwhile the “damsels” in the other two arcs consisted of (a) the toughest motherfucker in class 1-A, and now (b) the most hardboiled fucking guy in the entire series. and by contrast, female characters have played critical roles in all three arcs on the rescuing side, and now we’re about to see two lady villains fucking throw down

like, I know I give Horikoshi a lot of shit for not having more badass female characters, but a lot of that is because BnHA honest to god is a cut above most other shounen manga to begin with when it comes to feminism. and it just makes me want it to be even better, because I know it could be

god, I can’t wait to be reading manga like 20 years from now, though, when Japan is (hopefully) finally a bit more woke

anyway I went on a tangent there didn’t I. so yeah, Giran. MVP

holy shit

son of a bitch can we just take a moment to appreciate how good the villain of this villain arc has been so far, though? like, he’s straight up evil, but not in an obnoxious way like Stain or Overhaul. this piece of shit knows what he’s doing and is cold blooded as fuck and actually seems to have a plan! I hate him and he’s been awesome so far

anyway so here’s his three reasons then

brb just gonna :| about that a bit, and also wonder why the fuck we apparently don’t have anyone this smart on the heroes’ side. except Hawks, maybe. goddamn

although he’s slightly off the mark there though, isn’t he! it’s astounding to me how much these villains -- and well, everyone really, except Bakugou Fucking Katsuki -- are underestimating All for One, though. like, they really think he’s gone for good. Overhaul was out there trying to become the new kingpin, and now RD is smugly monologuing about how the weapons All for One left behind are all gone and the League has no remaining assets left. well, a month and a half ago you wouldn’t have been wrong, RD. but things have changed now pal

and shouldn’t he know about Gigantomachia, though? even the heroes know about that one. if they were spying on the League with a fucking satellite, wouldn’t they have noticed the giant boulder man continuously trying to crush Tomura for two-day stretches at a time??

you guys it’s going to be so fucking satisfying when Tomura crushes this jackass though

and we’ve got some very interesting quirks going on here! someone here seems to have a targeting scope, and they’re firing a fucking laser from their mouth like fucking shoop da whoop lmao

and then there’s that one dude about to throw a fucking Volvo at everyone. and lots of elemental quirks, and one guy who seems to look weirdly similar to Kurogiri. it’s like a fucking Where’s Waldo of villains though

what in the hot hell

??? !?!?

oh I see. so it’s exactly what it looked like

(ETA: but you guys why does it remind me of this:

?????)

Spinner what the fuck is your quirk!?!?

now we’re cutting back to Kizuki yesssssssssssss

she says that all of the army’s soldiers have undergone daily training. oh wow, whoopty freaking doo. good for you guys. so like every other character in this series, then

these “late starters” are going to whoop your ass and I’m so freaking here for it

oh dear

well there goes a great deal of my fondness for Kizuki straight out the fucking door. asshole journalists are pretty high up there on my list of types of people that I hate

(ETA: you know what though, I like that she has a unique personality. even if it’s one that annoys me. she doesn’t just blend in, unlike some other villains I could name (there were eight of them, and they were named after Buddhist precepts, hint hint). plus she really does have the best quirk in the business. Kizuki you’re a real piece of work but I respect you dammit.)

anyway Toga so whose ass do you want to kick first. you got this girl I believe in you

:DDDDDDDD

probably shouldn’t be loudly cheering at this man’s extremely gruesome murder. and yet. here we are

lmaoooooooooooo

while you were talking my girl up and absconded hahaha

friendly reminder that Toga Himiko is like #9 on my list of favorite characters and I would kill for her! I stan one (1) fearless bloodthirsty bitch

wow

all right, geez! fuck, y’all are real sensitive about a little attempted murder

so now Kizuki is asking Toga what kind of life she’s led to end up like this

I honestly want for nothing more than for Toga to have not had any sort of tragedy in her young life whatsoever, and to just be Like That. please. Horikoshi. this better be good

(ETA: it’s mostly good! we’re fine.)

anyway so Toga’s crashing through some stunt glass in the front window of some janky little bar, and skidding to her feet because she’s amazing and won’t let a little thing like being flung through a storefront window stop her

but as she skids, Kizuki is telling her to watch her step and Toga’s looking behind her, startled

oh fuck

joke’s on you, Toga’s amazing and won’t let a little thing like being blown to bits stop her

...right?

(ETA: lol)

interesting that the word “superpower” was used again here instead of “quirk”! what the hell do these guys have against that word anyway. I get that they’re following Destro who laid down the law in his book which is basically their personal bible, but that shit was like 200 years ago though. ah well, cults are weird

anyway so her quirk is Legit though, ngl. what can I say, I have a weakness for quirks that go boom

haha so Toga is fucking fine apparently and she’s sitting there kind of smoking a little and looks a little singed but otherwise not too worse for wear

there’s about half a dozen people attacking her from all sides, though. one of them is carrying a giant stock pot. that shit better not have boiling water in it. listen Liberation Army do you guys want to die fast or slow

oh shit

looks like my girl went and made that decision for you huh

oh my god

finally an explanation for the mask!! after... 150 chapters. holy shit

anyways. thirsty girl. Horikoshi’s got me out here rooting for some decidedly morally grey people, sob, and I ain’t even mad

so Kizuki looks very excited and is realizing that ingesting people’s blood is what lets Toga transform into them. so I guess she knew about her quirk, but not the mechanics of it

(ETA: her interest in this makes sense, though, as it explains the whole “attacked her classmate with a knife and sucked all his blood” thing.)

omg

(ETA: hey, we never did get an explanation for this! Toga are we still waiting on part two of your flashback where you interned at Cirque du Soleil.)

lady. me too. I’m still mad at you, but. we’re on the same side in this instance

DSFKJSDLFKJDSKHFS

NEVER FUCKING MIND!!!!! WHAT THE FUCK

FUCKING -- BUT THEN --

WELCOME TO BNHA WHERE CHARACTERS WILL INDEED DO ALL OF THE FUCKED UP SHIT YOU WERE WONDERING IF THEY WERE CAPABLE OF DOING WITH THEIR POWERS. HOLY SHIT

(ETA: I mean, it’s brutal and I’m mad she hurt my girl, but I’m also so impressed that Kizuki went and used her quirk in such a logical and devastating way. haha but Toga should still be dead though.)

so Kizuki is chiding Toga for attempting to disappear into the crowd, and she says she’s taken measures to ensure that she goes along with her interview

oh my god. fuck her up Toga please. make it hurt. girl

so now she’s bragging about how their soldiers will gladly become detonators! wow!

I love how Horikoshi makes the distinction between villains who at least care about their own, and villains who don’t give a fuck about anybody. like, the League is still evil -- Toga stabbed a man in the neck not ten pages ago -- but there’s no doubt whatsoever who we’re supposed to root for her. Toga is just as crazy as this lady, but she tied a handkerchief around Twice when his mask got torn. meanwhile Kizu blows up her own subordinates so she can get the hot goss from her victims before she murders them

OH HEY TOGA BACKSTORY

(ETA: I’m not sure if the phrase “eldest daughter” implies she has siblings? the flashback wasn’t exactly clear on that either. imagine the drama though! omg.)

this! I’m here for this! details without context! if you show us the context you had better not try to make it all saccharine, Horikoshi, do you hear??

MORE DETAILS

because she felt like it, Kizuki. fuck off

I love the description of her as a bright and reasonable girl, though. back when she first disguised herself as Camie I suspected that it might be her, but it seemed far-fetched because she showed herself capable of being perfectly logical and sane while disguised, and it was a side of her we’d never seen before. but I love that, though. I love that Toga’s particular brand of being unhinged doesn’t require her to be dumbed down. she’s brilliant. she just also happens to really, really like stabbing people

fffffffffdslkaj

(ETA: just for the record, I’m not on Team This Guy Is Somehow Related To Deku, sorry guys. he does look like him, I’ll give you that, but I think it’s just a coincidence. Deku is frequently described as having a very ordinary, plain appearance, so I don’t think it necessarily means anything if we happen to see another minor character who bears a slight resemblance. who knows, though, maybe I’m wrong. we’ve had important characters make their first appearance as background characters before -- Kirishima and Ms. Joke come to mind -- so it’s possible! but for the time being I think the likelihood is fairly low.)

TOGA YOU BETTER NOT DIE. YOU BETTER MURDER THIS LADY WITHOUT GIVING HER THE ANSWER SHE SO DESPERATELY CRAVES, AND ONLY THEN THINK THE ANSWER TO YOURSELF AND YOURSELF ALONE. AND THE ANSWER BETTER BE SOMETHING LIKE YOU WERE TIRED OF BEING NICE AND WANTED TO BE YOUR ACTUAL CRAZY SELF

so help me god you guys I’m like two seconds away from adopting a serial killer. she will not get along with her other siblings and it will not be pretty. but I love her though omg

(ETA: yeah it’s done. it’s a done deal. the boys can look after themselves so it’s not a problem, and Eri... well they’ll just have to keep an eye on Eri. as long as they don’t leave the two of them alone it should be fine! Mirio will look after her.

what even is my current adopted kid count anyways. let’s see... Katsuki, Izuku, Shouto, Mirio, Tamaki, Eri, Hawks, and now Toga. am I missing anyone. -- oh right, Shinsou! so that’s nine. plus the 17 other 1-A kids who are quasi-adopted as well. shit, did I adopt Tomura. I think I was on the fence. my fictional family is getting so complicated lol.)

lol sob

yes Toga you’re so normal. and she likes the Liberation Army sob. of course she does. she likes them so much she’s gonna murder the shit out of them

how is that the end of the chapter. shit. one more week to go and then the Golden Week break fffffff Horikoshi you’d better be kind to us with next week’s cliffhanger. please. omg

(ETA: no complaints whatsoever. that was some good shit.)

[therandomfics]

Anniversary: FINAL

“And then, I wish you’d seen the look on his face, Sonny. It was priceless! He looked like he had finally been defeated. I mean, I’m worried about Anna but at the same time, I’m not. She’s a big girl. I hope she sees this as a favor done,” you rambled on, excited about having finally gotten one over on Peter. He’d constantly gotten you for so many years that even though it was one small step, you felt like you’d moved a mile. 

“Maybe he’ll finally leave you alone. I hope he does. I’d like to see you back in Manhattan some day,” Sonny replied. You could hear the ticking of his turn signal in the background and the acceleration of his car’s engine. 

“I didn’t know you were driving. I’m sorry! Call me when you’re back at home.” 

“Nah, it’s really okay. I won’t be home for a while,” he explained. More turn signals, a little bit of mumbling beneath his breath. “Are you at home now?” 

“Yeah just walked in about five minutes ago.” A knock at your door startled you and caused you to stand up from your couch. “Hey, I think Anna’s here. I’ll call you in a little bit ok?” 

“Alright. Good luck.” 

You hung up and walked to the door, where the person on the other side had knocked yet again. When you opened the door, you were surprised to see Peter standing there, red faced and angry. 

“Oh no, no, no,” you said quickly and tried to shut the door, but he had already jammed his way in and pushed you back by the time you’d even grabbed for the door. 

“Who do you think you are trying to ruin my life, huh?” he asked as he continued pushing you back into your apartment, kicking the door shut. “I had a good thing with Anna. She never asked any questions and I had a promised bed whenever I wanted it. Now, thanks to your stupid prank, I’ve lost her.” 

When the back of your legs finally hit your bed you folded, sitting down and staring up at him. He always towered over you, but now it was much worse; much more intimidating. “Wh-what exactly was your plan? I would show up and see you and what? Fall in love with you again?” 

“No. Obviously I want nothing to do with you now,” he snapped and stepped back, still looming over you. “And by the way, I know that you and Sonny haven’t fucked yet, so what’s the hold up? Does he find you repulsive, too?” 

Your heart sank a little at that comment, even though it was from someone who didn’t deserve your time or energy, and had always been a problem.. it still hurt. “Did you bug my apartment?” you questioned, grimacing at the idea of Peter having any insight into your personal life. 

“No, I don’t need to. I just need to know where you are. Obviously having your vitals doesn’t hurt either,” he admitted, immediately giving himself away. 

You looked down at your wrist, to the fitness band that you’d been wearing for almost two years now. It had been a gift from Peter and he’d set it up so that you could start using it immediately. Obviously that was how he tracked your movements and your heart rate. “Wow. You’re really something else,” you commented as you unclasped it and tossed it onto the floor. “Why won’t you just leave me alone, Peter? Why can’t you let me go?”

His phone, in his pocket, beeped nearly the moment your band hit the floor. 

“Minute to minute updates?” you questioned, standing up and shoving him backwards. “We are divorced, you stupid piece of shit. You have absolutely no reason to be here, let alone invade my privacy by continuing to monitor my actions via a goddamn FitBit!” 

He grabbed your face and squeezed your jaw tightly with his hand, reducing you to nothing but a whimper. “Watch your pretty little mouth.” 

He was obviously delusional, insane even, for being in your apartment and watching your every move, trying to convince you to meet up with him by pretending to be someone else, along with every other horrible thing he’d done - and that was just since you’d been divorced. 

When you raised your arm up and brought your elbow down onto his forearm, you were able to break away from his grasp and shove him backwards - only a few feet, though. It was enough for you to drop to the floor and grab your Cubs baseball bat, one that Peter had given you, and bring the barrel down against his foot. 

He cried out in pain and tried to kick you, but the years you’d spent learning how to ballroom dance and slide along the floor in a dress made it much easier to slide in jeans. You took the knob of the bat and began jabbing it into his knees until the pain of your hits caused him to hit the floor. 

“Don’t fucking move!” you shouted as you stood up and pointed the bat at his head. “I’ll fucking break it, I swear, and you’ll only have the batting cages yo used to take me to to blame. Don’t get up.” 

You reached into your pocket and pulled your phone out, dialing 911. The bat was steady pointed at Peter’s face, only inches away so that when you swung back it wouldn’t kill him, but it would at least make him have an involuntary nap. The regret on his face was clear as day. He was re-playing his choices of the past few years, you figured, and very few of them seemed to be positive. 

“Thank you. Yes. It’s the top floor, and I’m the only apartment up here,” you explained and then hung up. You shook your head at Peter’s rigid form on the floor and dialed Sonny. “Hey. It wasn’t Anna. It’s Peter. I’m fine - I’m fine - yes. Okay.” 

“Why don’t you just update Facebook too, so everyone else can know?” he asked bitterly from the floor. 

“Jesus Christ, for once would you just...” you sighed and then drew back, hitting the side of his head with just enough force to shut him up for a few minutes. “Be fucking silent.” 

A few minutes later, uniformed officers rushed into your apartment. You explained the situation as it had played out, but Peter’s story didn’t match yours. 

“She invited me here to reconcile,” he was explaining from the hallway outside of your apartment. “I don’t know she just snapped and started hitting me. I don’t know what happened. I really thought we were going to get back together.” 

Sonny walked into your apartment a few minutes later and shut the door. “This could get ugly.” 

“It’s already ugly, Sonny,” you said with a sigh. “Imagine what would have happened if I hadn’t been able to get him off of me for those few seconds? You might have found me at the morgue. Not here.” 

“Don’t talk like that,” he said with a sigh. “I went over to Anna’s and spoke to her. She said she’d be willing to be a character witness for you and she’d also like to explain why Peter was in Sleepy Hollow tonight. You’ve got the messages, too, plus your past restraining order. It’ll be messy for him, is what I meant.” 

You nodded and sat down on your bed, staring blankly at the floor. “I wanna move.” 

“You want to move?” he asked as he sat down beside you. 

“Yeah. Somewhere he isn’t going to be. Maybe.. Seattle.” 

Sonny shrugged gently. “Seattle? They’ve got good coffee so I’ve heard, and I guess I could handle the rain, too. It’s only like 75% of the year right?” 

With a smile, you looked up at Sonny and nudged him softly with your elbow. “Who said you were invited?” 

“Well I just figured since you’re gonna marry me someday it would make sense for us to be together, even if it’s in Seattle,” he explained, a grin tugging at his lips. 

Two officers stepped back into the apartment and you rose to your feet. “I gotta go in,” you explained, though Sonny already knew. 

He nodded and stood up too, a sign that he would go down to the station with you. “Let’s get it over with,” he suggested, and placed his hand on your lower back to guide you forward. “It’s gonna be fine.” 

_________

Peter’s erratic behavior combined with the testimony of Anna, several women you’d never met before, Sonny, and yourself all made for a solid case against him. He wasn’t sentenced, which you figured he wouldn’t be, but he was given no contact orders and was forbidden from being more then 300 feet from you at any given point in time. If he attempted any communications with you, he would be put in jail. If he was found near you or your home, he would be put in jail. You couldn’t have asked for much more when you looked back on his career within the justice system. It probably hurt the judge to do an ADA like that, but you cared a lot less now than you did before. 

Sonny bought you a new FitBit and let you set it up yourself, and though you trusted him with your life, such a meaningful gesture meant more to you than anything else he could have done.. except for one thing. 

Sonny had access to your laptop, and why wouldn’t he? You’d been living together now for a few months and were starting your life together. He’d seen you look at the same house several times, and even start emails but never compose or send them to the realtor who was showing your dream house. 

“I got you something,” he said, giving his best impression of mystery. He handed you an envelope and sat down beside you at the kitchen table. 

When you opened it and realized what was inside, you nearly screamed in excitement: confirmation for two tickets to Seattle, Washington... and a confirmed meeting with the very realtor you’d been so nervous to contact. 

“Pack your bags, babe.” He leaned over and kissed your forehead, letting out a small laugh at the shock and awe your were experiencing. “We leave tonight. We have plenty of time to think about the move, but I want you to know that I’m on board, too.” 

You stared down at the tickets for along moment, before you burst out laughing and wiped the tears from your eyes. “Guess what?”

“What, doll?” 

“Today’s my one year anniversary of being a Zygmunt again.” 

He shook his head with a laugh and pulled you into his arms, planting a kiss on your lips. “Happy Anniversary, Miss.” 

Tag List: @halloup @enthusiastic-french-toast @sasbb23 @inlovewith3 @glimmerglittergirl @cecilyjmorgenstern @braincandyreads @thebeckyjolene @babypink224221 @juliie-isabel

Okay, so I decided to make this the final chapter because I’m legit stoked about my new fic... and also because this is the longest I’ve ever dragged a fic on and I didn’t want to end it unraveling at the seams. 

[luna-minerva]

Ok, so. My thoughts on Casecation.

First of all, it took me a while because I’ve been having mixed feelings since the episode ended, and it’s not like my feelings re: Jake and Amy having kids weren’t mixed to begin with, so yeah.

I don’t like “discourse”, even less so if it’s about the show that has been my happy place for more than a year, but still. I’d like to – nay, I need to – share my feelings in some way.

(By the way, it’s been super nice to read everybody’s thoughts on it here and on Reddit, it has helped me make my own mind about the episode!)

(I will use parentheses a lot, sorry for that. Consider yourselves warned.)

I’ll preface this by saying that I usually DO NOT like couples having babies on TV shows. It’s usually very clichéd, unoriginal, usually inorganic with respect to the rest of the storyline(s), and dealt with very very badly. I tend to agree with those that say babies ruin TV shows, and off the top of my head I can think of very few shows that managed to deal with the addition of a baby in a passable way (Parks & Rec – by basically never showing them so that’s kinda cheating tbh – and maybe New Girl). So, do I want my favorite show being ruined by the addition of a baby? NOPE.

But.

Since the very start (the first half of the first season, even!) it’s been clear that B99 is mainly about growing up (Jake and his daddy issues and Holt becoming his father figure) and choosing your own family (again mostly from Jake’s POV, but to a slightly lesser extent it’s true for all the characters). How could the show end in any way other than having Jake, now all grown-up, “close the circle” by having children of his own and becoming the father he never had as a kid? That’s the reason I’m on board re: Peraltiago having kids. It would be very organic to the story.

Any other show I would be THRILLED to see a couple CHOOSING not to have kids (without bringing fertility issues into it – HI THERE, How I Met Your Mother!). It’s representation we desperately need.

This preface out of the way, I’ll start by saying this is not the worst episode of the series in my opinion, even though it won’t ever sit quite right with me. There were plenty of little things to like about it:

Jake and his cute little Paris set-up for Amy

The list of the best moments in their relationship (so cute!)

THE SOCKS THING  ❤ ❤ ❤

The snippets of Domestic!Peraltiago

Scully being in his element

Kevin! Saying he’s too invested in Jake!!! Plus Holt was funny as hell

But that’s it. Unfortunately, the bad things overshadow the good ones.

The premise of the episode, i.e. Jake and Amy having never seriously discussed having kids before getting married. Talk about suspension of disbelief. Yeah, I know they needed a set-up for some kind of conflict or else there wouldn’t be a starting point for the episode, but seriously? Should I believe Amy never brought up the issue with Jake other than the time with the waterpark pic? Come on now. I don’t necessarily want my sitcoms to be too realistic but still: not talking from my own experience, but all the couples I know have brought up the subject at least jokingly so they tentatively know how their SO feels about it – and I’m talking about people in their early twenties.

But let’s accept this premise anyway, for the sake of discussion. I DID NOT LIKE AT ALL the fact that Jake’s very reasonable arguments (“We are both very busy with work”, “My father was crap and I don’t want to be like him”) were dismissed so easily and basically went unacknowledged by Amy. Which is not to say Amy’s arguments aren’t valid (THEY ARE! AND SO IMPORTANT! Women don’t have all the time in the world to have kids and this needs to be discussed more!!!), but the episode was framed in a way that implied only Amy’s concerns were legit. Very unfair.

Which brings us to the ULTIMATUM. I was not a fan. I was not a fan AT ALL. Is wanting/not wanting children a deal-breaker for a couple? Of course yes. But was it in character for Amy to basically threaten Jake to leave him if he doesn’t make up his mind in basically a month’s time? HOLY SHIT. THE VERY SAME AMY THAT TOLD JAKE “I'LL WAIT FOR YOU. AND I'LL KEEP FIGHTING FOR YOU” IN THE FINAL EP OF SEASON 4??? COME THE FUCK ON. Give me a break.

A slightly different set-up would have made the episode 100 times better. Let’s keep the “Ooops we never really discussed this very important thing because of a silly misunderstanding” set-up because, again, it’s funny and it’s a sitcom and we don’t need it to be 100% believable. Let’s say that after the issue comes up, Jake shows to be not opposed to the idea but very scared (as he has the right to be) and wanting to wait; on the other hand, Amy would like to start trying sooner rather than later because of the whole biological clock ticking thing and whatnot. Then the debate (or ever better, just a plain discussion) would have been about the timing, and on how to help Jake overcome his legitimate fears. The bomb thing could have stayed the same, with basically Jake coming to the same realisation as in the actual episode (the whole “This very dangerous situation made me realise this very important thing about my life” is a bit overdone maybe, but I would be happy to overlook it if the rest is coherent).

Plus the whole thing with Jake saying he never wanted kids. Jake wanting to be a dad someday is something that has been peppered throughout the WHOLE SERIES, starting in SEASON ONE. Come on, guys. I know B99 is not the best ever when it comes to continuity, but still. This one was a pretty big oversight for me.

So there you go, rant over. I really hope this is the first and last time I will have to rant about B99 because I don’t like it one bit.