#but like i saw a meme on twitter and something possessed me

[nahrgles]

So I finally got around to playing Pathologic...

[rotessaboggs]

I posted 1,060 times in 2022

That's 1,025 more posts than 2021!

21 posts created (2%)

1,039 posts reblogged (98%)

Blogs I reblogged the most:

@mlchaelwheeler

@andiwriteordie

@willel

@queerxqueen

@new-ronantics

I tagged 54 of my posts in 2022

#byler - 27 posts

#will byers - 16 posts

#stranger things - 15 posts

#theories - 6 posts

#analysis - 5 posts

#sorry this turns into a rant - 1 post

#y'all making me emotional - 1 post

#share this again - 1 post

#im crying rn - 1 post

#south-east asian - 1 post

Longest Tag: 133 characters

#but like i can't imagine how they are gonna defeat vecna in any other ways except for taking what he preys on and uses it against him

My Top Posts in 2022:

#5

I'm so disappointed to the point that I can't feel anything but empty right now. Will, you don't deserve this treatment.

20 notes - Posted July 1, 2022

#4

79k!!! I remember when I first started to follow the tag, it was like 20k something or even less. And now we are 21k away from 100k??? Oh man that's crazy to think about.

22 notes - Posted August 4, 2022

#3

No matter what is gonna happen in vol 2, I just wanna say that I had a time of my life reading all the theories and analysis of you guys. Some people may say “it’s not that deep” but to me, what makes a work of fiction have a lasting impact is the fact that we can dive deep into the story, decipher the smaller details and see how it contributes to the larger picture. Arts continue to live on because we, as the audience, never cease to analyze and interpret it with different angles and layers.

In the months leading up to the release of reputation back in 2017, I read tons of amazing theories. Although many of them ended up not being accurate but looking back, I never regretted being invested in them because they gave me the thrills that only a well-done work of art can do: that there is always something more to what we see on the surface.

I’m not sure if what I’m saying makes sense or not because I’m so stressed out right now and English is not my native language. So in short, thank you so much for all the theories, analysis, and memes that you guys have posted in the last month. I will remember June 2022 for the rest of my life <3

37 notes - Posted July 1, 2022

#2

How realistic should a work of fiction be? ~aka this is me rambling~

Warning: This is going to be more like me getting all of my messy thoughts out of my head than a coherent in-depth analysis. So read it at your own expense lol. Still, I would really love to read you guys’ thoughts and opinions on this topic. This is something I have been pondering upon for quite some time but I didn’t have the urge to write it down until I saw people on Twitter “arguing” over what a therapist said about Mike.

Also, English is not my native language so sorry in advance for any spelling/ grammatical mistakes or ambiguous/ confusing word choices. I won’t mind if you guys point it out for me.

First of all, let me start off with some chit-chats (you guys can skip it if you like). I have no intention of “forcing” my opinions on others so I want to make it clear how I am like which can affect my viewpoint intrinsically.

A few years ago, I generally didn’t care much about films or TV shows, to be honest. I did watch movie analysis for fun but I have always been a book lover and I tend to gravitate towards classic literature because they usually make heavier impacts on me (I may use some examples of classic lit later on). I usually opt for classic lit because I feel more certain that it has the thing I love - a character-driven narrative in which we get to dive deep into a character’s inner self, explore all their turmoils in exquisite detail, and observe a natural progression in their thoughts and feelings. 

It was in late 2017 or early 2018 that I watched a video explaining the first two seasons of Stranger Things that I got interested in the show. It was specifically Noah’s acting and Will’s possession arc in season 2 that made me become a fan, not gonna lie. I was super excited to watch season 3 right when it came out. And … It made me so disappointed that I felt weirdly left out when other people all seemed to enjoy it. I thought maybe it was just me and I didn’t think of the show at all during the three-year period between season 3 and 4. I clearly didn’t know that Will is gay or pay any attention to the underlying problem in mlvn’s relationship. That kinda qualifies me as one of the general audience, right? Volume 1 blew me away and made me hooked on this show again. And then I came across posts and analyses about Will and Mike (in season 4 and other seasons) and I was even more blown away by all the subtexts and parallels (you guys are AMAZING!). In one way or another, I support byler because if it is really the direction the show is heading towards, it proves that the piece of entertainment I am consuming at the moment has so much depth, breadth, and width. And that has always been the thing that gives me an amazing sensation of blissfulness and satisfaction when I enjoy art. It makes me feel like a diver making her way down the mysterious depth of the ocean, being fascinated by all the questions and wonders.

Thank you for getting through that. Let me get to the main question now. 

How realistic should a work of fiction be?

I have seen a lot of people say things like “Stranger Things is a show about a girl who throws off a car with her mind and alternate dimensions with monsters but gay characters in the 80s is where you draw the line, really?” Although I agree with the overall sentiment here, there is always something irking in the back of my mind about this argument, about when things should be realistic and when the writers can just do anything they want.

In this case, I won’t bring all the supernatural things into this discussion because I think the matter is not whether things are realistic or not, it’s more about whether all the supernatural elements really align with each other in the grand scheme of things, whether later discoveries explain or disrupt the set of established rules and norms (which can be absurdly unrealistic) we have from earlier seasons. Although there have been quite a few inconsistencies, especially in regard to the Upside Down as people pointed out, there is still the last season 5 in which more will be explained so yeah … let’s wait and see how it will pan out.

What I do care though is the characters, their personal developments, and the dynamics they have with each other.

Back to the therapist I mentioned earlier, I don’t know exactly what she said but as far as I hear from other people, she explained Mike’s behaviors in a way that is favorable to mvln so undoubtedly, mlvn shippers use it as their proof. Meanwhile, they are pretty much against an analysis of a person with film degrees and experience in media literacy. On the side of byler, there is an opposite response: more in favor of the latter, of course.

In my opinion, this is pretty much a gray area. On the one hand, I can see why people cling to the analysis of the therapist because characters are humans and their behaviors and thought process can be explained through the lens of psychology just as normal human beings. On the other hand, they are also fictional entities who play a part in a story, directly engage the audience into a narrative, and are the means through which the emotional impacts are created. Rather than seeing this in a black-and-white manner like “it’s not realistic to do this or that” or “oh come on it’s fiction,” I would say the boundary between the realistic and creative aspects is pretty blurry, especially when people are just talking generally about the show without specifically focusing on a character, relationship, or plotline.

A basic opinion that I first had about this is that: the journey that a character goes through should make sense and make the audience feel like it’s relatable  to a certain extent (or at least understandable). But to adhere strictly to reality for the sake of being realistic isn’t it. That personal journey, with its progression, climax, resolution, and aftermath, has to serve a purpose, or in another word, it has to be purposeful and consequential. 

People argue that Will being gay, in love with Mike and potentially having his feeling reciprocated + having a happy ending isn’t realistic because it’s the 1980s - a really homophobic period. They believe that it would be more realistic and accurate for Will to be rejected or something along the line. But if it is the path his arc is heading towards, then I wonder for what purpose then?

(This thought came after I finished this whole writing so I don’t know where to put it except here. Consider it an irrelevant note if you like) So … When I think of the word “realistic” when talking about fiction, I recall a quote that one of my professors mentioned in our class: “Absence of evidence is not evidence of absence.” I question if it can be applied in this case. Although the 1980s was not a great period of time for gay people, was there anyone who actually got to have a happy ending? If those people exist, is it “unrealistic” for us to tell their stories instead of the conventional one - the one with no joy and happy ending at all? OK maybe that’s not what realistic actually means and maybe I’m way off base.

To be as close as the reality of the time is an obvious answer that some people may cling to but is it enough to be the drive of the arc of a main character?

I am currently reading “The Tenant of Wildfell Hall'' by Anne Bronte and I am pleasantly surprised by how progressive the book’s ideology is considering that at the time it was published, women were devoid of any independence of their own and viewed as the properties of their husbands. To see a woman of that time (not only the heroine of the book but also the very author) deliberately going against that mindset is empowering indeed. The things happening in the book aren't necessarily “realistic” but sometimes we have to defy reality to get a message across and to create an emotional impact. Particularly when it comes to a progressive ideology like feminism or LGBT+ rights, by defying the reality, the writers are able to create a work that continues to be impactful decades or centuries later on. Or on a much more personal scale, we may say it’s a way of self-fulfillment for the authors who didn’t get a chance to live a better life (like Jane Austen with all of her books). Either way, there is a purpose.

On the other hand, there are also authors who don’t defy the rules and norms of the time and try to make their stories realistic. I always think about “Tess of the d’Urbervilles'' by Thomas Hardy in regard to this because that book hurts me like hell with its pessimistic progression and devastating ending. Spoiler alert, the main protagonist of the book doesn’t get a chance to escape the bleak reality of her life and the love story in the book doesn’t have a happy ending at all. Upsetting as it is, it makes sense when we learn more about Thomas Hardy. He is a person who is known for “his stoical pessimism and his sense of the inevitable tragedy of life.” Although one of his most popular books “Far from the madding crowd” has a happy ending, there are still a whole lot of pessimistic things and tragedies that plague nearly all the portions of the book. Also, sticking to a realistic portrayal of the society and having the characters suffer immensely can be a way of social critique, having the general audience confronted with unfairness and cruelty of this world, to encourage them to actually think about justice and equality instead of being indifferent towards those matters.

Now, based on what we know of the Duffer brothers (there are other writers as well, but overall, they created the whole thing in the first place so let’s just narrow it down to them), which side would you think they gravitate towards? 

Depressing as the show can get sometimes, it still offers us a message of hope and optimism, as well as emphasizing the power of self-esteem, friendship, and love. As someone who has always felt like an outcast, a second thought, and someone who tried to seek validation from other people to feel worthy in high school, I find the show relatable and inspiring, and I believe that it’s the effect the show creators want to bring about.

If Will’s feeling for Mike is not reciprocated and he somehow ends up sacrificing not only his heart but also himself in season 5, what message and effect do you think that would bring? Not just in the LGBT+ community but also people who find themselves resonate with Will in any certain ways.

Counter arguments

One may argue that well, if you want Mike and El to break up, it would still suck because she has suffered a lot and deserves love and happiness. Now I would support this if it were not for the things happening in episode 9 and her overall character arc. To be honest, I didn’t really care about El in earlier seasons because I tend to just hyper-fixate on one character at a time. But there are aspects of her arc this season that I find particularly relatable and touching. It’s her need to feel accepted, validated, and loved. 

At the beginning of the season, the foundation upon which she depends her self-esteem comes from the outside, which as we have all seen, causes even a lot more trouble to her mental health. All the bullies and harassment and then the lack of love received from Mike - all contribute to pushing her closer to the edge. At first, her coping mechanism is shrugging it off, putting it aside and pretending that all is good. It really doesn’t help that she can’t be honest with Mike about her struggles although hypothetically, they should be able to be so if their relationship is healthy and advantageous to both sides. I think all the lies are pretty much rooted in insecurity as she is an original person now without any superpower. She has been trying to find herself for several seasons but this is the first time there is no “superpower” - the main thing that many people see when they see El: a thing that they may depend upon in dire circumstances, or at worst weaponize for their own benefit. Her being left without it makes the issue of finding herself even more pressing because it seems now to her that she is no longer as helpful as before.

Despite the facade of happiness, all the distress is still there, waiting to surge up, breaking the dam when the time comes. That time being at the Rink-O-Mania. After that, we finally get the chance to see her true thoughts and feelings. We see that under the facade of happiness, those demeaning labels and names have really caught up to her and affected the way she defines her self-worth. It doesn’t just stop at “I’m different. I don’t fit in.” She literally sees herself in the worst light possible - a monster - something that brings destruction and death.

So the main character arc of El for the rest of the season (and I believe it will continue in season 5) revolves a lot around her defining her very self-worth (she alone knows herself best, not anyone around her; not Hopper, not Mike, her), making her own decisions despite the biggest authority figure in her life - Papa - saying “NO,” and most importantly, accepting herself (and her abilities) for what things are. If need be, she is going to use them in a violent way, like fighting against Vecna or the military, or use it to save Max - her dearest friend. When I first watched episode 9, I was a bit annoyed by the fact that they have El revive Max in such a way because it feels like they want to avoid a main character’s death. But when I ponder upon it a bit more, I see it as a beautiful contradiction with how her power has been used continuously in every season - something that causes damage and death vs. something that can revive life. There is no clear-cut definition like the monster or the superhero because these words imply certain qualities that completely contradict each other and cannot co-exist in one entity, that entity being El. She is Eleven and she is more complex than what those labels can ever describe.

Now this is exactly where I have issues with Mike’s monologue. Because he keeps going on and on about her power (a lot of which isn’t even accurate) and calls her a superhero. Many people have talked about this but let me put it down here just to make things clear: Mike is holding El back from her personal development. She cannot open up to Mike about her life in California, suppressing her negative feelings and thoughts all the way, because he has always looked up to her for her abilities and she can’t bear his pity if he knows the truth. She feels unloved because Mike cannot write the word “love” to her but once again she tries to put that aside. Mike’s words after she hits Angela triggers her traumatic experience at the lab - the one which makes her feel like a monster. And then when she finally gets to see that there is no such thing as a monster or hero, she being way more complicated than what others dictate her to be, Mike once again brings back the word “superhero.”

OK I didn’t intend to write that much about El, which is a bit funny considering that my favorite character is Will. I am feeling like I am driving at night without any headlight so let me end this part with a question: If she continues her relationship with Mike in season 5 without both resolving all the underlying problems in their relationship, it being the fact that they cannot really be themselves around each other and therefore, hindering their own personal development due to each being the main source of validation for the other, what purpose would it serve? What emotional impact and message can that bring about at the end of the day? What is potentially the climax of resolution of all these underlying issues that have lain around for seasons?

The psychological (realistic) and narrative (fictional) aspect of a character’s personal arc is so intricately interwoven to each other that to me, to erase one side from the argument (to completely cling to the analysis of a therapist) portrays a black-and-white way of looking at the show. I still love listening to character analysis of people who have knowledge of psychology though, because I love psychology a lot but I’m not going to forget that I’m watching a show in which everything has a sense of purpose and has to fit into a narrative. At the moment, we still have a whole season left and none of the characters have completed their arc yet, not to mention we are kept in the dark about some of the character’s actual thoughts and feelings and the only thing we can do now is deducing from what we see or hear from the show and other related sources of hint.

See the full post

42 notes - Posted August 3, 2022

My #1 post of 2022

PREACH!!!! OMG I LOVE HIM SO MUCH!!!

70 notes - Posted July 17, 2022

Get your Tumblr 2022 Year in Review →

[chubbyreaderwriter]

Dangerous

Natasha Romanoff x Chubby/Plus Size Reader

Imagine: Everyone tells you not to get involved with Natasha because she’s dangerous but you don’t see it until you get kidnapped. 

Word Count: 2.3k

Warnings: kidnapping  

Masterlist

You groaned as you woke up in the morning from Natasha’s alarm at god knows how early in the morning. You felt her sitting up to get out of bed and you reached out your arm to grab her hand, “No stay, I want my morning cuddles.” You heard her laugh and you slowly opened your eyes to look at her, how did she look so good first thing in the morning? You pouted and Natasha leaned down to kiss you, “You can get your morning cuddles later, go back to sleep, I’ll wake you up when I’m done training okay?” You whined but nodded, wrapping your arms around your pillow to act as a Natasha substitute. You closed your eyes to go back to sleep and you heard the bedroom door click shut. 

Natasha was so sweet with you, it was very difficult to believe that people were scared of her. But when the two of you when public with your relationship, that’s all people kept telling you, “You’re with her? I hope you stay safe,” “Natasha? Don’t you know how dangerous she is?” “Are you serious? You two? She’ll rip you apart if you piss her off.” You had chosen to ignore them, you believed that they were just jealous of your relationship and wanted to break you up so Natasha was single again. 

You had no reason to believe them, yes she was strong and a great fighter but she was one of the most affectionate people you’ve ever met. You loved her and she loved you so you didn’t care what other people had to say about it. You weren’t going to leave her just because some people are afraid of her, that would be stupid. 

You smiled to yourself as you felt yourself being gently pulled closer to someone. Peeking open your eyes, you caught a glimpse of familiar red hair, “Hello again, back so soon?” Natasha chuckled, “I’ve been gone for a few hours, you were just asleep.” You stuck your tongue out at her and she pulled a face of fake shock, “Oh really? That’s how you want to treat your girlfriend?” You squealed as you felt her hands tickling your sides, trying to squirm away from her but she had you held in place with her legs intertwined with yours. “Okay! I’m sorry, you win.” Natasha grinned, leaning down to kiss you, “I always win, now what’s my prize.” 

You blushed a little as you felt her hands sliding under your pajama shirt. It was still a little surreal that someone as hot as Natasha was interested in you, no matter how many times she told you that you were perfect in her eyes. The sex helped a lot, but there were still moments where you thought you might not deserve someone as good as her. She had told you once that she felt the same way about you and it had blown your mind that she didn’t think she was good enough for you. 

Just as things were starting to heat up, JARVIS broke through the sound of heavy breathing and soft moans, “Miss Romanoff, Mr Rogers requires your presence in the lobby.” You mentally cursed Steve for ruining your moment with Natasha as she regretfully pulled away from you, kissing your neck, “Looks like we’ll have to continue this later, babe.” You smiled at her as she put her shirt back on, “You’ll text me when you’re on your way back?” She nodded, “Of course I will, I’ll be back soon. I love you,” “I love you too,” you mumbled to yourself as she had already left the room. 

You stayed in bed for another thirty minutes, spending time just flicking through your phone, mostly twitter and some texts that you had from Tony, who had an obsession with sending you memes of Steve and Clint that he found online. When your stomach started growling, that’s when you knew it was time to get up and go get something to eat. You got up and walked out of your bedroom and headed to the kitchen, not bothering to get dressed, you were fine in your baggy shirt and grey shorts. 

It was weird for the Tower to be so quiet, usually there was someone about, whether it was Clint paying games on an Xbox, Bucky and Steve watching movies from their very long list Tony insisted they need to watch, Peter following around Tony like a lost puppy, Bruce doing some kind of science, etc. At the very least, JARVIS usually had some music playing but it was silent. All you could hear was your own breathing and it freaked you out a little bit. “JARVIS?” Your voice gave away your nerves and it only got worse when you got no response. You tried to calm down, it was probably nothing right? Maybe it was Clint playing a prank on you? 

You walked into the kitchen and had been about to open the fridge when a hand was clamped over your mouth and an arm was slung around your waist. You tried to shout but it just came out as muffled grunts. Twisting your body in all different ways didn’t seem to be helping you get free and you were pushed into the kitchen island. The few seconds you stilled as you dealt with the pain of impact gave your attacker the perfect opportunity to inject you with something. You tried to move away from them but your movements became very slow and your limbs felt so heavy. 

Your eyesight started to blur and you felt the person behind you let go of you but you were too drowsy to run away or do anything. You tried to look at who was in front of you but all you saw was a large black blur. You felt yourself being lifted just as your eyes closed and you drifted into unconsciousness. 

. . .

A heavy pounding was in your head as you woke up, groaning from the pain. You tried to reach your hand up to touch your head but you were restricted. You blinked a couple times as you waited for your vision to come back to you before looking around the room you were in. You were tied to a chair that was bolted to the ground and the room looked like it was made of concrete you guessed, with nothing on the walls apart from the one in front of you. There was a window and a plain door. You tested your restraints by shifting around on the chair but the zip ties wouldn’t break, keeping your arms and legs to the chair. 

You were alone in the room for about a hour, left alone with your thoughts when you saw someone walk past the window and seconds later the door clicked and you watched it open and close behind a man you had never seen before. You didn’t say anything and tried your best to keep a straight face but he probably knew just by looking at you that you were scared. You’d never been in a situation like this before and you weren’t sure how to react. 

The man smiled at you, “So sorry we had to meet like this Miss (L/N), but we’ve received information about your relationship with a Miss Romanoff. We’ve been waiting for her to show a weakness for quite some time and here you are. It was strange to see that you were so easily taken, for a moment, I suspected we were wrong about you. Who leaves their loved ones so unprotected.” 

You knew what he was doing, he was just trying to get inside your head. You knew that Natasha loved you and she thought you were safe in the Tower, this wasn’t her fault. You continued to keep silent, you had no intention of saying anything to him. He tutted, “If you cooperate and tell us what we need to know, you won’t be harmed. Fail to do so and.. consequences will be provided, understand?” You kept still and kept your mouth shut, you weren’t going to tell him anything, no matter what he did to you. 

He sighed and looked down to adjust his tie and shirt before looking back at you, “It’s in your best interests to cooperate Miss (L/N), you wouldn’t want your girlfriend to get hurt now would you?” “Go to hell!” You glared at him, you’d be damned if you were just going to let them hurt Natasha or use her to blackmail you. He smirked, “Ah so she speaks, now you’re going to tell me everything I need to know about Natasha Romanoff and the so called ‘Avengers’ and maybe we’ll let you leave in one piece, hm? I’ll give you some time to think about it.”

You watched as he left the room, keeping your head held high until you were sure he wasn’t anywhere near you before you couldn’t hold back your tears anymore. You had never been more terrified in your life, what was going to happen to you? Would you ever going to get out of here and see Natasha again? Your family? Friends? You took a deep breath to try to calm you down before you completely started panicking. 

You had been left alone in that room for a long while now and you were tired, hungry, cold and your muscles were sore from being kept in the same position for ages. If it couldn’t get any worse, that’s when you heard the gunshots. They were muffled from how thick the walls were in this place but you still heard them. You felt your heart race faster and faster as they got closer and closer and you kept a close eye on the window. 

A scream left your mouth as you watched someone get shot right outside your window and then a familiar face looked inside. You were so relieved to see Natasha’s face. She kicked open the door and rushed over to you, pulling a knife out to cut the ties holding you down to the chair. You started crying again, feeling so happy to see her, “I was so scared, but I didn’t tell them anything I promise.” Natasha held you against her as you cried, “Shh, it’s okay, you’re safe now. Let’s get you home.” 

You sniffed and let her help you stand up, your muscles aching after sitting down for so long and being knocked out. You walked out of the door and you felt uncomfortable since you didn’t have any shoes on but it was a price you would gladly pay to get out of there. You covered your mouth as you saw blood all over the walls and some on the floor, all around dead bodies as Natasha held your hand and dragged you out the building. 

Your voice was barely a whisper as you looked around, “D-Did you do this?” Natasha turned to look at you, “They took you from me, they had to pay.” It felt wrong to blush from her words but you did anyway, she sounded so possessive and you didn’t want to admit it but you liked it. Natasha saw how you reacted and smirked, pulling you closer to her, “You like this side of me don’t you?” You couldn’t speak, not finding the strength to say anything so you just weakly nodded. 

Natasha grinned as she hurried quicker to pull you to safety in the form of a quinjet that was waiting outside for you two. As soon as the doors closed behind you two and the pilot took off, you felt a lot safer. Natasha sat next to you and wrapped her arms around your waist, “I promise you that you will never have to go through this again. I will keep you safe this time, I’m so sorry baby.” You saw how badly this was affecting her and you turned to lean into her embrace, “It wasn’t your fault, I’m just glad to be back with you.” 

When you were back at the Tower, the first thing you did was go get something to eat from the kitchen, you were starving. You didn’t care that Natasha wanted you to get checked over by Bruce for any injuries, you hadn’t eaten anything all day, or however long you were gone for. You had started eating a sandwich you made when you felt yourself being picked up and thrown over someone’s shoulders, but you recognised that behind, “Steve! Traitor.” He chuckled, “Sorry doll, Nat’s orders.” You groaned as you were carried down to Bruce’s office, “I thought you were the leader?” Steve shrugged, “So did I.” 

It didn’t take long for Bruce to do a few simple tests and once you were given the all clear, you left to go to your bedroom to see Natasha sitting on the bed, looking as though she was waiting for you. “Bruce gave me the all clear so no need to worry.” Natasha didn’t say anything, she just stood up and walked over to you until she had you pressed against the door, “You know you’re mine don’t you?” You blushed and nodded, “Mhm, I’m yours.” Natasha grinned, “Well it seems some people still don’t so it looks like I’ll have to make it more obvious for them.” 

You gasped as you were pushed over to the bed and onto your back, Natasha was on top of you within seconds, kissing you passionately. Yeah okay, so she might be very dangerous, but you loved her and it was kinda hot. 

[ronon-dex]

honestly thought I’d unfollowed all of the blogs I’d been following who started posting/reblogging de*tiew and “c*s got sent to hell for being gay” stuff but I see it was a waste of my time in doing so because it’s an endless cycle and blogs who didn’t post anything before, are now, and I’m sorry to be ranting to you but I don’t know who else to vent about it to and I just feel so sick like complete shit

nah go off, I've been doing it enough on here (since twitter is a little too close to the real life crew and actors - not that that stops certain people from ranting and raving on there, of course).

I've also blocked every variation on the d*stiel and castiel tag, since seeing any hint of either made me physically cramp, lmao, particularly around 15x18. unfortunately the spectacle surrounding castiel's stupid death got a lot of casual social media users' attention, which in turn spurred on the d*estiel fans even more; most of them saw the mockery of the show and presumed it was support, which was actually funnier and more pathetic than the correct context of the gifs and memes and jokes. posts about "megahell" getting 40,000 notes or whatever was seen as everyone getting in on the hate train, when in fact it was people who have either never seen supernatural or haven't watched it in years making fun of how bad they think the show is now. and hey, I'm not a gatekeeper - the show is not euphoria, or the get down, or one day at a time. supernatural has never been a paragon of good representation! supernatural is exactly like its two leads: insular, possessive, almost cult-like in how they ignore the importance of virtually anything other than sam and dean (sometimes even ignoring sam! THAT'S how exclusive it is!). I'm not going to sit here and say it's a perfect show, I know it isn't! but you see, the difference is that I didn't expect anything other than the EXACT FORMULA we have been fed for 15 years: sam and dean are two brothers who love each other more than anyone or anything else in the universe. sam and dean are family members. family is the focal point of the story. they have friends who come and go but ultimately it will always come back to them.

onto specifics. dean winchester remains the sole character on the show besides charlie to explicitly state his sexual orientation. he has said that he "doesn't swing that way" to 3 separate male characters on 3 separate occasions. he has only expressed interest in women. I do not care if you ship him with dudes. I literally do not care what anyone ships. to each their own, go wild, have fun with your interpretation of whatever character. what boils my blood is when I see people creating headcanons that then become popular enough to be seen as indirect canon - and people get so up in arms about their imagined idea that they drop it expectantly at the feet of the show creators like a dead rat, and act all offended when said creators shut the metaphorical door in their faces. a 41 year old sexist straight man is not good gay representation. yeah, that's a crazy, homophobic opinion, apparently. but it's true. for the record, I don't think a male character who has previously been shown to be only interested in female characters (for 11 years!) suddenly revealing he wants to fuck his straight friend, who calls him his brother, and then dying right after, is amazing representation either; but I genuinely haven't cared about castiel in years, particularly since he re-released lucifer after sam's sacrifice. I do care about dean, and jensen, and the autonomy of both. people seem to prattle a lot about consent until their fave says they're straight, funnily enough.

making castiel gay or whatever the fuck they say he is now was a massive mistake by insanely out-of-touch writers who got used to getting praised for shit like having dean make castiel a mixtape. fans were never going to be satisfied with having an unrequited ship, which is something pandering fools like dabb and berens would never have computed. they cobbled together a shitty ending for a feeble character and called it progressive when the truth is, it was stupid for lgbtq people, regular non-shipping viewers, and castiel himself. yeah, the millennias-old angel was secretly in love with an average dude who beat him up on the reg and called him a useless idiot and turfed him out of his house when there was the slightest hint his presence might have threatened the safety of his brother. amazing representation.

meanwhile, jack, castiel's son, who dean openly said was not his family, is right there. sam, a genuinely kind and selfless person who lets castiel watch TV on his bed, is right there. neither of them considered good enough to deserve castiel's affection, or even a goodbye.

supernatural was never about friends or lovers or whatever. it was about two brothers. sucks that that was a revelation for some people, but hey. we can't all have critical thinking skills.

[moondeerdotblog]

On Dragons

A brief note for short attention spans: stick around if you wanna see how I manage to seamlessly (and I do say so myself) tie together dragon mythology, weaving, and politics into one giant point about worldview diversity and problem solving efficacy (even got a Trumpian meme for y’all towards the bottom if that is more your bag).

I have always been fascinated by the common thread stretched about humanity that links up our narratives. The similitude with which humanity engineers itself by independent means.

Take dragons for example. Damn near everyone thought up dragons.

They thought ‘em up in Egypt, where Apep was the very embodiment of chaos.

Egypt also thought up my personal favorite, Ouroboros, who was a manifestation of the snake god Mehen.

They thought ‘em up in Mother Russia where it would appear three really is a magic number. One would assume their mastery of weather and water source got ‘em the gig at the bow of this Russian Viking ship.

This handsome three-headed fella, who goes by Zmey Gorynych, is from Russian folklore. He liked taking human form and seducing him some laadiees.

In Greece, dragons were hurling up namesakes. Here we see a depiction of Athena watching as the Colchian dragon, guardian of the Golden Fleece, disgorges Jason.

Greek dragons were also being raised solely for the purpose of slaying Heracles (pictured here failing miserably is the Lernaean Hydra).

The Greeks also liked stickin‘ ‘em in mosaics, as with this depiction of a sea dragon or cetus.

In China, where dragons were thought to bring good luck to those worthy of such fortune, you’ll find them carved into walls. I mean … be kinda awkward not to find dragons at Nine-Dragon Wall … am I right?

The last imperial dynasty of China, the Qing dynasty, chose to stick one of the dragon gods, the Azure Dragon, on their flag.

It wouldn’t be long before the Chinese dragon would make its way to Japan, as evidenced by this Hokusai painting,

as well as to Korea, as evidenced by the murals found at the Goguryeo tombs.

The first known portrayal of a fully modern, western dragon may be found within a medieval manuscript.

Native Americans painted dragons on bluffs. This fearsome piasa bird craved human flesh.

So what is the point of my little dragons of the world presentation? I believe it worth considering the discrepancies and commonalities amongst such cultural invention.

Let us begin with commonalities. The nearest I can tell, the single common thread among these narratives defines a dragon as a serpentine, legendary creature. Let me paint my point metaphorically.

We often speak of storytellers as though they were spinning yarn. It would not, then, be much of a stretch to reimagine them as weavers, and their creations as tapestries such as the two below.

We might think of the universally common as the warp threads running through these tapestries. Something structural. Not the good stuff.

What they all saw the same way isn’t really the interesting bit, is it? Seems to me the good stuff is what each culture thought of a little bit differently, the weft threads of the tapestries.

That which makes the Chinese dragon on the right something entirely different than the Celtic dragon on the left. Different … but no less beautiful … and the world is richer having known them both. Having known them both, what might one weave next?

Consider, then, what invention becomes possible with all things considered.

What might I be able to learn from someone with whom I share nothing but warp threads (were we each provided our very own babel fish … obviously).

What might he learn from me? After we have finished feeding our fish and gone our separate ways, how might we be affected? What ingenuity might we have unlocked for future endeavors?

Not enough? Not yet convinced of the beneficiality of discrepant embrace? Another example, then.

What must this untouched Amazonian tribe have thought possible that they hadn’t only moments earlier?

I don’t want y’all thinkin’ I only value discrepancy. We value the shared human experience, that which binds us as a species … the things about our lives, about the human condition, one finds to be as true beneath the canopy as they are in my backyard.

Without such warp threads we might find those outside the purview of our particular worldview entirely un-relatable. We might consider children one such thread. Entirely relatable.

What I find to be most valuable, however, are those weft threads … the good stuff. The stuff that tells us not who we are, but who we might be … who we might become. It is the unique that drives us to want to try out something new … that has us saying, “huh, I never thought to do that,” or “I haven’t thought of it that way before.”

It is the unique that allows us to glance up at the sky and say to ourselves, “I never knew that was possible.”

Thinking about folklore and mythology in this way got me thinking about world-views, and the current political climate in our country.

When Trump was first impeached, I became deeply invested in the plight of our nation. If I was awake, the television was tuned to MSNBC and I was absorbing all of it. The reality rejectionist platform pushed by the GOP, the militia grooming, the election theft, the fascist coup, etc., etc. You all know the story.

The things is, I was getting there weeks, if not months, before anyone I was seeing on my television (or Twitter for that matter). I began wondering why. I mean … me … a guy with a political knowledge gap the size of those Texan power bills.

Then there seemed to come a moment at which point everyone caught up. Biden was declared victorious.

I was caught up in the jubilation

and felt as though, perhaps, the whole divergency irritant had been flushed.

It hadn’t been. Coinciding with the beginning of Trump’s second impeachment trial, even more so than before, my read diverged from any other I could find. Maximum dissidence was reached immediately following the Senate’s vote to acquit, when Mitch stepped up to the podium and began speaking.

Wait … wait … that wasn’t Mitch.

Okay, that’s Mitch. So Mitch got up there and did precisely what I feared he might … he pivoted away from a doomed reality rejectionist platform. My surprise was in how everyone else responded. I have yet to find anyone anywhere not surprised by Mitch that day.

“So what, then, is your point?” you ask. “It seems as though that vuvuzela isn’t all you’ve been blowing,” you say (in a rather accusatory tone I might add). Here is my point with regard to my power to prognosticate.

I have grown convinced that I have uncovered the force at play here. It is precisely that political knowledge gap which has turned me amateur prognosticator. Without the knowledge of political norms and precedents pressing into my mental map of possibility, my imagination would not be limited to what has come before. My expectations were unflappable when met with a world that no longer made sense, while so many clung to a pre-Trumpian set of expectations. They, consciously or subconsciously (mind is tricky that way), feared the unrecognizable now.

I want to return, briefly, to that Amazonian tribe, staring up at that plane. No doubt you had a similar reaction to my own upon seeing that image, postulating what magic they must invent to explain that which they have seen.

I want you to consider something that perhaps you wouldn’t have thought to consider. Let’s reimagine magic. What if Trump were piloting that plane? (Nailed it, right?)

Of course the plane crashes. It was held aloft by norms and precedents. Say everyone survives the crash. Which group, the planites or the tribe, now possesses the most accurate view of what surrounds them?

Politically, societally, pick-your-ly … who among us has the most accurate view of what surrounds us today?

Well … I mean … you’re not wrong. We have a hell-of-a-lotta problems (and thanks for participating, couldn’t pull this off without ya) … problems requiring masterful weavers work together in fabricating solutions.

Let us, then, consider carefully whom we shall invite to sit down at our table … with which unique perspectives we shall be outfitted.

What might discrepant world-views or experience engender as we begin weaving? What might we see in the weft threads of our tapestry that we never knew was possible?

[your-brilliant-lady-m]

South Korean music industry at a glance: an outsider perspective

I watched one particular AMV last week. The song used for the video was “I’m afraid” by Korean rock band DAY6. I was pleasantly surprised as someone who values lyrics in song first and foremost. The music itself was great. I’ll listen to their songs again. It’s a nice fit for my music taste. Naturally, YouTube’s algorithm decided that I’m a fan of everything Korean after 1 video and started spamming my recommendations with k-pop songs, documentaries and everything in-between. 

I watched a couple of videos, listened to some songs and discovered fascinating patterns. So, I went down to the comment section. And it was rather interesting experience, should I say? The concept of entertainment industry in South Korea simply begged to be explored more after this. I dug deeper and visited Tumblr k-pop tags and briefly glanced upon Instagram and Twitter. And, oh...

I am a big picture person and I enjoy both studying and creating systems. This one was particularly fun to explore. I discovered a lot of new things for myself. Perhaps, you can discover something new for yourself too or take a step back and look at this from a new angle. 

Disclaimer: it’s impossible not to offend someone on Tumblr, so keep that in mind. That being said, I do NOT intend to insult of offend anyone. It’s just a little research done for fun, because I love research with a purpose. This post is NOT A HATE post. No hate intended for fans, artists or other people involved. It’s meant to be a discussion, nothing more and nothing less. If it sounds like hate, it’s just my sarcastic sense of humour.

Content Warning: I mention suicide, death, depression, rape in a couple of sentences. There’s nothing major or graphic, but it’s there. 

In this long post I decided to share with you my opinion, a so-called outsider perspective, on the world of music entertainment industry in South Korea and people involved in it on different levels. I use the word “outsider” mainly because, that’s exactly what I am in this case, as someone who is in no way involved in k-pop community. I can’t name you a single band or their members. I don’t know any solo artist and can’t neither sing nor name you any song. 

And to be completely honest, I don’t think I will set my foot into k-pop fan-circles ever again after everything I saw. 

Think of this as “In this essay I will...” meme, except there’s an actual essay.

As far as I know, in South Korea “k-pop” refers to all music produced in SK, including solo artists, various bands, singers-songwriters. It doesn’t even have to be pop music. Koreans include in this definition all genres of music. However, around the world “k-pop” means primarily music made by idol groups and bands marketed for children, teenagers and younger people. In this post I use the latter definition, because that’s how most people understand “k-pop” in other countries. Therefore, my statements, opinions and conclusions here would concern only idol music. 

The music industry in South Korea is heavily influenced by culture and traditions of the country, just like all things are. And there’s nothing wrong with that. After all, different backgrounds are what makes people so interesting and unique. However, when combined with consumer mindset, desire to generate profit at any cost and fast-paced nature of modern life these neutral cultural elements could produce something concerning, and it can lead to disastrous consequences. 

1. Idol

These people are called artists, musicians, singers, bands, groups, performers. In South Korea and in Japan, however, people call them Idols or Stars. I’ve also seen Muses, Princes and Queens. Interesting, isn’t it? The terminology used to describe these musicians in South Korea is one of the key elements in this whole entertainment system. You’ll see why.

But who or what is an idol exactly? Let’s take a basic definition from Wikipedia.

“In the practice of religion, a cult image or devotional image is a human-made object that is venerated or worshipped for the deity, person, spirit or daemon ... that it embodies or represents. In several traditions, including the ancient religions of Egypt, Greece and Rome, and modern Hinduism, cult images in a temple may undergo a daily routine of being washed, dressed, and having food left for them. Processions outside the temple on special feast days are often a feature. Religious images cover a wider range of all types of images made with a religious purpose, subject, or connection. In many contexts "cult image" specifically means the most important image in a temple, kept in an inner space, as opposed to what may be many other images decorating the temple.

The term idol is often synonymous with worship cult image. In cultures where idolatry is not viewed negatively, the word idol is not generally seen as pejorative, such as in Indian English.”

Cambridge Dictionary defines idol as follows:

And here’s the definition from Oxford Dictionary: 

This is a centrepiece of this tapestry. Surely, you have noticed by now what these definitions have in common. 

Idol = a cult image of a god, a deity 

By calling these musicians “idols” industry makes society and audience treat them in certain way, namely as gods. What characteristics do gods possess? They are beautiful, talented, funny, confident and graceful, blessed by eternal youth of immortality. Gods have no flaws, they do not bleed, they are above human concerns. They are an embodiment of perfection. They are stars, you could not reach. 

But real people are not like that. They can be sad and angry, insecure. People don’t have perfectly symmetrical faces. They can’t dance in sync without preparation. They can’t sing like angels at any given moment throughout the day.

What happens when idols accidentally reveal their humanity? What happens when people see, that they make mistakes and do stupid things, that they need to train hard to appear graceful on stage? 

I will tell you. And it’s not pretty. But, first, let’s look at other elements of this system. 

2. Y/N and Self-insert fantasy

Aside from the music, K-pop sells the self-insert fantasy to the audience. It’s carefully arranged to appear real, where the cracks are masked and every word is scripted. The reality is so vivid that one doesn’t even have to use imagination all that much, because all scenarios and decorations already exist. Countless interviews for TV and magazines, fan meetings, talk shows, reality shows made sure people are privy to all juicy details of personal lives and opinions of musicians. And also one word - merchandise. Some of that merch made me question my life choices. Some of it is, ah, creepy or has weird vibes. All of this provides plenty of material for people to work with. Fans can effortlessly imagine themselves beside their idols or even in their place. 

In a highly competitive society, where people throw themselves into studying and work since young age, forming deep and lasting connections with others is very hard, sometimes impossible. As a result, people long to have a group of close friends with similar interests, a loving partner who would cherish them endlessly. People want to be rewarded for their backbreaking efforts to succeed by the carefree life of fame and music, everlasting friendships and love. And in a way you can’t really blame them for his. 

Does this dream life sound familiar? We are looking at K-pop bands here. It doesn’t really matter if their members don’t always get along or that they can live in debt, that fame is fickle and adoring fans can tear your self-confidence to shreds. Audience wants the glamour of fantasy and the industry is more than happy to cater to these desires. 

Perhaps, knowing that even for idols this fantasy is sometimes unattainable makes the whole set up feel just a little cruel. 

3. Fans, stans and fandom culture

We’ve already established earlier that idols are gods in the eyes of people and listed traits they must possess. So, what else do gods need to exist? Worshippers. Because a cult is worth nothing without its followers. Gods need a group of people to worship them and spread their beliefs. The role of worshippers is performed by a fans in this case. 

Apparently, there is a running joke that girl groups need to win a general public popularity and boy bands need a big passionate fandom. It seems to be true according to my observations. 

In k-pop fandom people use the word “stan” to state that they like or support particular group. Now, I am sure everyone here knows that in other fandoms, dedicated to movies, shows, books and games there’s an important distinction between being a “fan” and a “stan”. What is it? 

A fan is someone who likes a ship or character, creates and/or consumes fandom content, supports certain ideas, discusses things they enjoyed and disliked, criticises canon. Stans, however, are a different breed. They engage in all typical fandom activities, but their support and enjoyment becomes obsession. Stans believe their favourite characters and ships are immune to criticism, that they are superior no matter what others say. Stans start shipping wars, send anon hate, death threats over fictional characters and hurt real people. Stans are considered toxic fans. And majority of normal civilised people don’t like them and try their best to let stans hang out in their echo chamber by themselves. 

In other fandoms and communities, to be a fan means to love, support and enjoy something, while to stan means to obsess over and hyperfixate on these same things. Words “I stan” rarely mean “I support” for most people, and if they do mean that, it’s only used in a joking manner (”We stan procrastination legend!”, “I stan our miscommunication kings”).

Everywhere else “stan” has only negative connotations, except in k-pop. But what has changed? What’s the difference? Why do international fans scoff at “shipper stans” and then turn around calling themselves “stans of X k-pop group” at the same time? Does it make you wonder? 

And this is another core theme of k-pop, in my opinion. In fandom where stan = obsession = support, you can see interesting patterns. 

Fandom loves their flawless gods. But watching them from afar is not enough for some people, because unlike deities in different religions, these gods live among us. People are very much aware of that. Industry has created a cult and laid the groundwork for worshippers to express their adoration in every way including personal contact. And who wouldn’t want to meet their god? Who wouldn’t want to know more about them or tell them how much you love them? In talk shows and fan meetings there is only so much one can do after all.

People desire to know more, to have more so much that their obsession transforms into concerning stalker tendencies. These crazy individuals follow idols, stalk them on social media, in hotels, research flight numbers, bribe security. Musicians were attacked and poisoned. I strongly suspect there were cases of rape that no one knows about. There is even a special term for these fans - “sasaeng”. 

Is there a definition for stalkers of actors or musicians in western world? No, I’m pretty sure there isn’t. They are just called “invasive/obsessive fans” or “stalkers”.

Also, there are sasaeng memes. Yeah, you heard that right. I enjoy some classy dark humour as much as the next person, but there is a fine line between normal and questionable. 

Back to the topic of stalkers. Do you realise how disturbing that is? Such behaviour is so common that there is a term for it. You create a fandom-cult, encourage people to worship k-pop idols as gods and then act surprised when members of said cult become fanatics and their adoration becomes obsession.

And it’s so easy to step on this slippery road. The system makes it ridiculously easy. Lines begin to blur. How much is too much? Where do you draw the line? 

While sasaeng fans engage in extreme real-life obsession, people online aren’t that far off, to be honest. I’ve seen it all: imagines, headcanons, fanfiction, real-person shipping, reactions. Real person shipping is a controversial topic. Some people support it, others don’t. I suppose I’m among those who don’t get it. I’m not exactly against it, but I find it strange. Mainly because it’s based on assumptions made by fans about personalities and behaviour of real people. 

Assumptions. Dear me! K-pop fandom has this thing with video compilations. I’ve never seen this phenomenon being so widespread in any other community or fandom. Basically people edit together a collection of short clips from talk-shows, interviews, Instagram stories, some YouTube videos, etc and then proceed to analyse every gesture, word, facial expression of idols and provide both audio and on-screen commentary. These videos and many other forms of similar analysis allow people to imagine what kind of personalities idols have, what kind of life do they live. It’s the source material for fanfiction, imagines and headcanons. 

But it’s not real. It’ll never be real. It’s an illusion, an image, a stage persona. They fall in love with a face and made up personality. And I think that when people create this content they can forget this. Fans can develop certain emotional dependence and unhealthy attitudes in the long run. In some YouTube comments even supportive and encouraging words sound whiny and obsessive. And semantics of being a “stan” of certain group or individual doesn’t help. 

4. Industry, companies and liars 

At last we arrive at the most important aspect of music entertainment industry - its creators.

Have you seen “The Road to El Dorado”? It’s one of my all time favourites. It has iconic characters, adult jokes that I didn’t get as a child and iconic soundtrack. I’ll quote “It’s Tough To Be A God” a lot here. 

In South Korea music industry is a factory, the production line to be exact. This kind of set up affects everything in the grand scheme of things. Companies and agencies play the role of training centres and record labels. And there are so many of them that a whole new scamming system developed based around fake idol agencies. It implies that there are people who fall for offers of these agencies and continue to do so. I suspect that victims must pay a fortune upfront before they realise their mistake. Are there any kind of legal protection against such scams? How can people verify the authenticity? Because a well masked scam can exist for a long time before someone discovers it and calls them out on their nonsense. 

As far as I understand legal companies work like this. After high school, which is often focused on performing arts (and private schools can get away with using talents of students for personal gain, which is totally not surprising), young people can audition for an agency and become an idol in training or idol-trainee. And passing audition is hard. But good recommendations can help, connections too. 

During training you don’t get paid. Only a few companies pay aspiring musicians. People can spend years in training and don’t debut. But rent, necessities, clothing and food (not that you need much of it, but more on that later) cost a lot. Where do you get the money to live then? Support from parents, one or two part time jobs at most and bank loans. Surprise! We found an unexpected (just kidding, it’s very obvious) party, who reaps benefits from the system. 

You need skill to be an idol. Natural talent helps too. The more skills you have, the cheaper and faster your training is. To level up your game you attend classes every month offered by your agency, which are not cheap (dance classes range from 400$ to 1000$ per month, sometimes more). There are four main categories in evaluation process: vocals, rapping, dancing and visuals. Idols are multitaskers, to have a chance on stage one must be perfect at everything. And people are ready to invest thousands of dollars into their kids training so that they could have a chance in entertainment industry. South Korea thrives on revenue k-pop industry generates every day.

Let’s pause here for a second and think about what kind of people come to these agencies. The answer is easy. People who have a dream, a desire, a real goal. You don’t wake up one day and decide to become a k-pop idol. Sometimes people get invited by agencies (after prior acting, modelling career or any other form of exposure). These people are usually very young. Some start straight after high school, some after university, but 25 years old is considered a late start. Compare that to western musicians who start singing at any age and still become famous. 

But why this age limit? Because idols are eternally young. So that in public eye musicians are remembered as 20 year old gods. People would listen to their music and imagine a young attractive face. Career in k-pop is short, it lasts 5-7 years, rarely longer than that. It’s even less than modelling or acting can offer. And professional sportsmen retire in their late 30′s. Some play longer, but usually, that’s it.

If you live in Los Angeles and say that you want to be an actor or performer, no one would bat an eye. It’s like saying that you want to be an engineer or accountant. Similarly, in South Korea becoming an k-pop musician is a real career. Because part of the self insert fantasy that the industry sells is the idea that anyone can be an idol. It’s easy after all. Anyone can pass auditions and become a trainee. A trainee with no guarantee of debut. But one should never underestimate the power of idol-dream. After all, idea is the most resilient parasite.   

“My friends started training in kindergarten. They have wanted to become idols since young”

“A lot of young kids get interested in Korean music” 

A 6-year old child sees the performance of k-pop group for the first time on TV. Let’s say it’s a girl. She is enraptured and decides that she will be like that too someday. She grows up, while being part of the fandom, just like all idols are in one way or another and whose fan-obsession transforms into desire to succeed. Her parents spend time and money to find her tutors, to fund dancing and singing classes. Perhaps in high school this girl decides to fix the shape of her eyes and make nose straighter. She trains hard and passes the auditions in her dream agency. And during training this girl faces the reality of behind the scenes life in music industry.

“Why are you crying? I’m not even pushing you”

“How many times have I told you? The rest are doing it perfectly”

“She is dancing like an elementary school student“

“I watched your performance as a spectator who bought a ticket to your concert. I want a refund“

“You make my ears hurt. I don’t want to listen at all”

“Listening to you was tiring”

“I’ll kick you out instead. You won’t debut”

“I thought I was going to die. That’s how determined I was” 

While I do understand that keeping a high quality standards in media industry is important, there are more productive and healthy ways to motivate someone to improve and be more passionate, you know? Constantly insulting people with sadistic glee and putting them down at every opportunity or calling them ugly to their face doesn’t do much. 

Do you think that children know about this? Do they know about soulless teachers and belittling managers? Do they know about friends who are really your competition, so you shouldn’t get attached? Do they know about living in debt? Do they know any of this? No, I don’t think they do. 

Children dream about the stage, about the sea of lights and crowds who chant your names. They want adoring fans and photoshoots. They want to appear on TV and magazine covers. Teenagers want the thrill of performance, they want to share their music and dancing with others. 

“I don’t know how many times I cried alone”

The truth is cruel. But they won’t give up easily even if it means sleeping 4-5 hours and consuming no more than 500 calories per day. Because giving up means that your whole life was a lie. One can’t afford not to be good enough. Giving up means admitting that all efforts and money your family invested into your dream were in vain. It means losing face before your family and friends - a fate worse than death. Imagine living this idol dream and building your whole future around it and then being told that you’ll never debut because of the circumstances outside of your control or something minor, like face shape or 1 kg of weight that your body refuses to lose. It can break you. Especially if you are like 18 or something. 

5. “And who am I to bridle if I'm forced to be an idol If they say that I'm a God, that's what I am”

“I don’t think there’s anything a tough as being a trainee in Korea”

Once you are a trainee at the agency your personal life does not belong to you anymore. You can’t go out without permission of the agency. You phone is taken away. Your diet and weight are monitored. Bad habits are not allowed (no smoking, drinking or drugs). Oh! I think I found the good thing in the system! Unfortunately, it won’t last. Trainees can’t date or meet with family without permission of agency. Dating is very taboo. Even established idols can’t openly date. 

Why is that? Because gods can’t belong to anyone. Their lives are property of the fandom. Because openly dating idols destroy the self-insert fantasy. There was a former idol girl who dated another musician. She was called a whore by her fans, her loving and adoring stans. You might know who I am talking about. Would you call an American actor or singer a prostitute for dating someone?

Trainees sign the contract. And how can a young person straight out of school or university know much about what makes a good contract in entertainment industry or what makes a good contract in general? Even if you do understand the terms fully you would still sign it because if you have come so far, you can’t let your dream slip this easily. There isn’t a choice. Not really. If you want to debut, you will agree to anything.

What about life after debut? You have to pay off your loans. And company takes 60-70% of your group’s earnings. Artists themselves get 30-40% and split it between themselves. K-pop groups have from 5 to 10 members or more than that. Each person gets less than 6%. Idols are not filthy rich. They are not. These earnings are practically nothing compared to the work you have put into this. 

Idols are musicians, who often don’t even write their own songs, music or create choreography. But if public doesn’t like the song and musical number the company created, they blame idols for the failure. Such an amazing logic we see right here. But people say that sharing music is the best part of idol life. But whose music? 

Models on catwalk are not there to demonstrate their physical beauty, they are blank canvas for works of clothing designers. Same with k-pop musicians. They act like puppets in a way, whose faces and voices are used to show audience someone’s music and songs. Some groups do write their own music and lyrics and it’s nice to know that. But those, who don’t are rather unfortunate. It’s a nice tool of psychological control and pressure for an agency. They can hold it over group and use the following rhetoric: “We gave you everything! Why can’t you follow the simple instructions” or “Where would you be without us? It’s not even your music!”

I called k-pop industry a factory. That’s true. Dozens of people become trainees every year. These talented young people are fully prepared to do anything to achieve their goal. They are ready to practice until they collapse, starve themselves and pour themselves into every song. Companies know that. Tell me why would they value their idols as individuals, as people, as human beings if they always have a replacement? Why bother with mental health of their artists if next year they could have a fresh set of people, who are younger and prettier? Why try to improve relationships inside groups if you could fire any member and replace them within a month or two?

In western countries famous bands have different stories. Some were friends since high school, who played in bars and during festivals and then they were noticed by some representative of label company, who offered them a contract. Some groups were formed by like-minded people who bonded and decided to share their music with the world. There are many stories, but ultimately the have one thing in common. Bands in the West often form themselves. These people had time to bond, connect, discover each other, solve some disagreements and learn to work around their differences. 

K-pop groups are formed by their agencies. They are their property in a way. Company selects the best and puts together these total strangers, appoints the leader with marketable face and personality and then expects them to work together like a well-oiled machine. No one has time to bond during training, because other people are you competition, not friends. And then you must learn to work as a team and be best friends on camera for the audience to support the self-insert fantasy. It’s no wonder that k-pop groups don’t get along sometimes. And every member knows that they are replaceable. It doesn’t help in forming connections. Groups can’t just terminate contract and go to work with another agency. I heard it happens sometimes, but it’s not a done thing. Unlike in other countries where bands just sign the deal with a different label and release their music under their name if they don’t like the old conditions. 

“It's tough to be a God But if you get the people's nod Count your blessings, keep them sweet, that's our advice Be a symbol of perfection Be a legend, be a cult Take their praise, take a collection As the multitudes exalt Don a supernatural habit We'd be crazy not to grab it So sign up two new Gods for paradise”

But is it really a paradise?

Idols are expected to act cute, to match personalities created for them by fans or media. They have to act according to the concept of their group. They have to be a symbol of perfection: skinny, single and with a face perfected by surgery. They are allowed to mess up, but only in a cute way. They can break down and cry, but only if it’s “aesthetic”.

Weight issues are a separate topic. Sometimes I wonder whether managers in companies understand how weight loss or human body in general works. To be honest, I think that scales in agencies are rigged. And only managers know that. I know it can be done from personal experience. Some beach resorts tweak their scales and make them show 4-6 kg less than actual weight, so people wouldn’t get upset if they gain some. There is no way a girl as tall as I am (173 cm) could weigh like 47-50 kg and be able to perform complex choreography on stage and sing without being out of breath, visit the gym on a regular basis and generally function as a normal human without fainting every other day.

“I developed a lot of eating disorders”

“I think I consumed about 300 calories today“

“Someone, please, trim the fat off her arms”

If you grow up thinking of idols as gods and then, when you become one of them you think that you must act as one too. But being an easily replaceable god is a heavy burden. The industry, companies and audience want you to be perfect, to always be on your best behaviour. And the thought of not being good enough or divine enough terrifies you, because stans have no mercy (black ocean concept is the most stupid thing ever by the way). This kind of pressure can destroy even the most resilient. And it does. 

Almost everyone knows that situation with mental health in South Korea is not the best to put it lightly. In many ways it’s a cultural thing. But in k-pop mental health issues are treated with even less care. Gods are not supposed to be depressed or suicidal. They are not supposed to have fears or insecurities, can’t be upset or angry. They try hard to be this deity, this image. So, even when they realise they need professional help or even a friend to talk to, they either won’t seek said help or reach out only to be met with silence. Some agencies disapprove or forbid therapy altogether. 

Sometimes fandom becomes self-aware.

“Don’t forget that idols are people too!”

“Your favourite idols are running out of breath just to keep you entertained“

“They are humans, who have feelings!”

Oh, but here’s the thing, my friend. The industry doesn’t want you to think of them as people. Companies and media repeatedly reinforce the idea that they are not people, they are your idols. And strangely enough, the audience supports this idea. People continue to call them idols, developing worshiping tendencies in the process, imitate them, scrutinise their flaws and triumphs. Because, you know, only “real and ordinary humans” can have flaws, not “idols”.

So people who say “they are human too” and people who say “wow, this concert was amazing, but vocals in the beginning were so off-key, I simply can’t” are one and the same.

This thought process would have been funny if it wasn’t so disappointing. But that’s just my observation.

And here’s another thing about sexualisation. I said before how appearances are everything, marketable face and body could drastically improve your chances to succeed. Companies know about this too and concepts and aesthetics of groups are designed accordingly. Girls are dressed in skimpy outfits, their dances are unnecessary suggestive, they wear heavy make up and try to have “mature” vibes. Boys don’t avoid such objectification either: suits, tight pants and dress shirts along with make up and hairstyle to give audience a promise of the things to come. Grown adults are not supposed to lust after 15-17 year olds. You can’t just create a sexy stage persona for teenagers. Do you remember my earlier words about creepy merch? Yeah. All of it neatly plays into the self-insert fantasy and encourages obsessive behaviour. 

This happens in western countries too. In some way that’s understandable. Beautiful and sexy image with a hint of innocence attracts more people and sells, because it caters to one of the base human instincts. But some things make your skin crawl. 

Sponsorships are another topic. Some k-pop bands seek out sponsors to provide financial aid and cover expenses, when earnings are not enough. Sometimes these sponsorships are fine, perfectly civil. But sometimes it’s a prostitution. Girl groups receive money and provide sexual favours to their patrons. It’s a way for the group to gain financial support and even find new opportunities in the industry. Companies can encourage such deals. Let that sink in for a moment. 

6. “Any advice to those who want to become a k-pop idol?”

A lot of former idols and trainees have similar responses to this question. 

“I don’t want to discourage anyone, but think twice”

“You only see the glamorous side, but don’t see all the hard work that goes into it”

“It’s not what you think”

“They think ‘Since I am good looking and can sing and dance really well, maybe I should become an idol?’, but there is much more to it“

“They think it’s something that is easy and will keep their family set for life financially”

And this implies that most people don’t know what kind of lifestyle k-pop stars truly have, despite the amount of information available online about “behind the scenes” proceedings.

7. Moving on

I am a practical person and every decision I make is subjected to scrutiny. And after seeing everything I can't help but wonder whether idols believe it's truly worth it. What keeps the industry alive is the idol-dream, the wilful ignorance of its reality and youthful idealism, the beautiful naïve belief that it'll get better, even if it never does in the end.

Sure no one would ever admit it out loud, because it's one of those things you never say on camera, no matter how sincere you have to be. It's the matter of professionalism after all, and idols have it spades. And also, because admitting this would equal admitting that you spent your best years doing something you both loved and hated, admitting that this was a mistake.

When you grow up in a society where appearances matter the most, where saving face and being polite is more important than staying true to yourself, where individuality is tolerated only to a certain point, it takes a lot of courage to admit that you need a break. I greatly respect those who decided that idol lifestyle is not for them and moved on.

8. Conclusion

To sum up, I hope you enjoyed my small research and this perspective, since you have read it all the way to the end.  

You have noticed that entertainment industry is an intricate system and its every component makes sure nothing changes. Companies have power over idols and audience, fandom has power over idols and their careers, and musicians themselves have fame and their music, but not always the promised fortune or happiness. 

It’s important to understand the big picture to draw your own conclusions and encourage positive and heathy attitudes in fandoms. Being open minded and allowing people to make mistakes and live their lives the way they want to is a part of being a decent person. People don’t owe anything to others. Art is about sharing your thoughts and feelings, promoting ideas and spreading beauty. It’s not always about money. And I think that this is what k-pop lacks as an industry. It turned dreams and human need for self-expression into business. Here everything is turned into a product. Everything idols touch can be sold, sometimes literally. Industry created problems, which can’t be solved anymore, because doing so would topple the system. And I find it tragic. Trapped in an endless chase after perfection creators of k-pop forgot that beauty lies in the eye of the beholder. 

If you take a look at comment sections and posts on different platforms, what will you see? What kind of things resonate with audience? What makes people laugh and cry? When people start to appreciate the substance?

“Everyone needs to hear this song in their darkest moments”

“Thank you for your music!”

“They always deliver! These guys can’t make a bad song!”

“It inspired me to write again!”

“Their songs brought me and my sister together once again”

“This is what happens when you let groups write their own music - they make incredible things”

“They really are legends of k-pop! I love that they are not afraid to show their inner strength”

“Stay strong! You rock!”

I believe that the answer is quite simple: when it’s real, sincere. It’s all about the message you choose to send to your audience, because only superficial things cause obsession. When you say that the sparkly façade is all that matters, then that’s the only thing people will ever care about. Your audience will never give a damn about the meaning behind dancing, music or lyrics, if you tell them that performance is more important. No one would praise WHAT k-pop idols sing, instead they would prefer wasting breath to criticize HOW they sing or look or move. 

I dare the k-pop industry to prove people that it’s not just about looks or perfection, or laser shows, or being a branding machine. Prove to your fans that k-pop artists are also passionate people with big dreams and talent, who love every moment of their job, who live and inspire, who are human just like us and whose humanity is real!

Do it, you cowards!

And now, I’m finished. I can hear the raging crowd of k-pop fandom in the distance, which means it’s time to hide. See you some other time! 

[lovemesomesurveys]

[created by: vyvyan86]

What is the thing that makes you take a survey? I just need a good set of random questions. <<< Yeah. If the first few questions grab my interest enough and it looks like I haven’t taken it before or at least not recently then I’ll want to take it. I also like them to be at least 20 questions.

Have you ever had an alcoholic beverage? Yeah, several.

Do you ever feel like you just HAVE to sing out loud? If it’s one of my favorite songs then I likely will sing along.

Have you ever watched RuPaul's Drag Race? If yes, what makes it enjoyable? I haven’t.

Do you own a TV? If so, what do you watch on it? Yes. I watch several TV shows. I also watch various shows and movies through streaming services on it.

Do you have Netflix/ViaPlay/other similar online channel? I have Netflix and several other streaming services.

Have you ever watched Nostalgia Critic or Nostalgia Chick? Nope.

What is the strangest type of candy you have eaten? I’ve tried some of those gross Jelly Belly flavors like grass and dog food. Blechhhhh. 

What would be your most ideal profession? I don’t know. :/

What kind of rides do you enjoy the most at amusement parks? A lot of the rides at Disneyland. 

Have you tried those coloring books for adults? I have several of those.

What is a topic you definitely don't want to talk about with anyone? I avoid politics and controversial topics.

Someone is about to take your picture. How do you react? Like ew, no, and put up my hand.

Do you frequent any "funny pictures" site? If so, which one? No, I just come across memes on Facebook, Tumblr, Twitter, and Pinterest. 

"In touch with nature". How do you interpret that phrase? Someone who enjoys doing outdoorsy things. Definitely not me.

Do you wash your dishes by hand or do you have a dishwasher? We rinse them off first and then run them through the dishwasher.

Which scent of fabric softener do you like the best? I use the one with the Snuggle bear on the front. <<< 

Do you ever get a chance to stay home alone? If not, why not? Yeah, sometimes, for like a few hours. It’s just how my family’s schedules are. 

Are you/have you ever been engaged? If not, would you like to be one day? I’ve never been engaged. I don’t see it happening for me.

Are you/have you ever been married? If not, would you like to be one day? Nope. I don’t see that happening.

What makes a person ugly? A shitty personality more than anything.

What is the craziest hairstyle and color you've had? Red was the “craziest” I’ve ever done. It was a bold move for me when I did it for the first time, but it became very normal and now I can’t picture myself not having red hair.

What was the last book you read? I’m reading, “Autumn’s Rage” by Mary Stone.

Is there a book that you are currently reading? ^^^

Do you prefer an actual book or ebooks? Why? I’ve been doing majority of my reading, apart from the Bible studies I’ve participated in, via the Kindle app. I have access to countless amounts of books and it’s just a lot more convenient for me.

What was your first gaming console? Original Nintendo.

Do you have any siblings? If so, how close are you? I have two brothers. My younger brother and I are really close.

Is there something you're eagerly waiting for? What is it? No.

Do you/have you ever belonged to an organization? If so, which one? I was a Girl Scout.

What is something you're very passionate about? I haven’t felt passionate in a long time. :/

Is there something you'd like to change about yourself? I’d like to change a lot of things.

Have you ever had a sunburn? Where on your body was it? Yes. Most often it was my shoulders and arms, but I’ve been sunburned on my nose and cheeks. My hands, too. 

Do you have or would you like to have a tattoo? If so, where? I don’t have any, but I’ve wanted one for several years. I just don’t see myself ever actually getting one.

What are you studying or what was the last thing you studied? I majored in and got my BA in psych.

What was the last present you gave someone? I got my brother a Wandavision shirt for his birthday a couple weeks ago because it’s one of his favorite shows at the moment.

Do you enjoy plays? If so, what was the latest one you saw? I last saw The Phantom of the Opera a few years ago. Can you hear your neighbors through the walls? We can sometimes hear if they shut a door or drawer loudly in their bathroom or the shower. We live in a duplex, so we’re connected.

Have you ever had something custom made? Yes.

Have you ever had a serious injury? I’d say the one that made me a paraplegic was pretty serious.

What was the last thing you achieved? Graduating college, I guess. I just have a hard time seeing even that as an achievement cause I feel like I’ve completely wasted it. I haven’t done a damn thing since graduating 6 years ago and I don’t even want to pursue psychology anymore, the field I got the BA in. I have no idea what I want to do. :/

What is something you would like to achieve at some point in your life? Getting my shit together and doing something with my life.

Would you enjoy being famous? Nooo, absolutely not.

Which country would you least like to visit? Hmm. Do you collect anything? Giraffe stuffed animals and knicknacks, things from some of the other interests I have like Baby Yoda stuff, and key chains. 

What's under your bed? Nothing.

What is something you've been meaning to get done but haven't yet? Get my shit together. :/

Do you enjoy travelling? Yes.

Do you listen to entire discographies of bands or just a few songs? Sometimes, but a lot of the time I check out a few songs. Or I’ll skim through the album. 

What's the last thing you've made with your hands? Hmm. I don’t recall.

On a daily basis, do you prefer to go by car or by bicycle? Why? Car, definitely. I don’t ride a bike and don’t want to walk anywhere.

Do you know your ancestry? I’ve been really wanting to do one of those ancestry tests, like 23 and Me or something.

Which hair color would you never want to have? I’m fine with just having my red hair.

Have you ever belonged to a club? If so, what was it? I was in clubs in school. I was especially active in the psych club I was a member of and then a board member of in community college.

What has been the most beautiful place you've visited? A few beach and mountainous places in California.

What is something that makes you sad? I’m a sad, sleepy, sensitive soul as I like to say.

Do you like hats? Yeah.

What shape was the last funnily shaped cloud you saw? I don’t recall. I haven’t done any cloud watching in a very long time.

What is your most prized possession? All my things, really. I have a hard time parting with and getting rid of things.

A famous chef is going to cook for you. Who is it and what do they cook? Hm. I don’t know who, someone who can make me boneless wings like Wingstop, ha.

[frankics]

hello  all  you  lovely  lovely  people  !  thanks  again  for  applying  to  this  rp,  you  have  NO  idea  how  excited  i  am  to  get  this  going.  i’m  lily,  i’m  newly  20,  in  the  est  timezone  and  my  pronouns  are  she/her.  i  love  trash  tv,  my  puppies,  and  the  collected  works  of  the  greatest  band  in  history  (one  direction).  this  is  my  trash  daughter  frankie,  she  truly  belongs  in  the  garbage  but  i  love  her  so  much.  below  the  cut  is  my  long  ass  intro  for  her,  i  forgive  you  if  you  don’t  read  it  all  because  looking  at  it  now  i  wouldn’t  want  to  either  !  anyway,  if  you’re  interested  in  plotting  with  me  and  frankie,  hmu  on  discord  and  you  can  check  this  blog  for  some connections  i  would  love  to  see  !

( alisha boe, cisfemale, she/her, MUSE E ) — oh my god, i totally just saw FRANCESCA ARCHER walking through greenwich village! you know, she plays SKYLAR ELLIS on that new netflix show, the village? i can’t believe they’re already famous at TWENTY-ONE. i’ve watched all of their interviews, and they totally come off as IMPERTINENT and RECKLESS, but they can also be ROMANTIC and WITTY. based on their social media, i’d describe FRANKIE like ( worn out black high-tops, mischievous smiles, nails painted different colors, peach vodka, swimming in an ocean during a storm ) — totally makes sense that people call them THE SPITFIRE.

important links: bio. statistics. filmography. muse posts. social media. 

warning: death tw on the 5th bullet point!!

the frankie archer story begins in 1996, when her mother yasmiin moves from her home of somalia to brooklyn to pursue an art career. she moved into a tiny apartment halfway across the world, knowing nothing and no one, looking for inspiration. she found it in the form of lorenzo archer, her next door neighbor. they dated for two years, but neither family approved of the other as a match: yasmiin’s family wanted her to return to somalia, and lorenzo’s roman catholic family were not pleased about their son selecting a non-catholic woman. but lorenzo and yasmiin didn’t care, and got married at new york city hall with the court appointed witness. two weeks later, yasmiin was pregnant with frankie. 

francesca simone archer was born on june 9, 1999. she is a gemini sun, a scorpio moon, and an aries rising. she was named francesca for her grandmother on the paternal side, and simone after nina simone, the singer that was playing on lorenzo’s record player when they first met. her two siblings, nala archer and zahi archer, were born in 2001 and 2003 respectively. 

her childhood is generally quite happy. lorenzo and yasmiin were born to be parents and they love frankie, nala, and zahi endlessly, the type of supportive love that makes children thrive. frankie possesses a natural wit and excels academically, nala is the star athlete, and zahi is a wizard with watercolor. frankie loves the movies and decides she wants to be an actress when she grows up, so lorenzo and yasmiin enroll her in acting classes and improv camps. things chug along in the archer family beautifully. 

that is, until frankie gets a high school scholarship to packer collegiate institute, located in the affluent neighborhood of brooklyn heights. she takes it, of course, with her parents’ full support. but she is nothing like anyone else who attends packer, and for a 14 year old who wants to blend in, that is the worst possible thing. she is suddenly, painfully aware of her worn-out clothes, her used books, her strange mother with paint stains on her bleached out jeans. frankie lashes out, screaming and storming off and slamming doors. she and her mother are hurricanes and the rest of the family simply battens down the hatches. one day when frankie is 15, she tells her mother that this family is her worst nightmare. it is the last words she will ever speak to her mother. 

a few hours after, the archers get a call that yasmiin has been in an accident. it was a hit and run: a drunk driver t-boned her, and they’re rushing her to the hospital. when the family arrives, the doctors break the news that yasmiin is comatose and that things aren’t looking good. lorenzo refuses to take her off life support, insisting she’ll recover. she is in a coma for nearly a year and a half before he is convinced to pull the plug. 

and now, the part of the frankie archer story that everyone knows, the serendipitous hollywood beginning. she’s just a charming, talented, grieving, all-american girl from brooklyn, heading off to juilliard in the fall. on her 18th birthday, the first one spent without her mother, she attends an open call for a role in an indie film called thursday mourning. she thinks it’ll be a fun way to spend the day, or at least distracting enough. and then she gets the fucking part. 

long story short, the film blows up. it’s shown at venice, winning the golden lion and a prize for frankie as the most promising young actor in the festival. it’s nominated for four oscars, including a best supporting actress nom for frankie. she doesn’t win, but it’s created a path for her to do whatever she wants, acting-wise. she does three more films in the next two years, gaining a reputation as an indie darling before realizing that indie films don’t make all that much money. 

and she needs money, because her father is drowning in hospital bills from yasmiin’s death that he can’t pay. that’s when the offer comes through from her agent: a starring role in an ensemble cast netflix show called the village. she’s planning on throwing the script away. she’s not interested in any television show, much less a teen drama. she’s a serious actress and she certainly doesn’t want to be the next veronica lodge, made fun of on the internet by strangers with discerning taste. but with a little coaxing from her agent, she reads the script, and the role is good, the writing strong. so she takes the village, even though she wants to do movies more, even though she might get memed into oblivion. one episode will halve her father’s debt. 

frankie was tapped for the village because while she’s definitely not as famous as some of her other castmates, nor does she have the hollywood background, she has consistently received acclaim for her performances. the producers think it will bring them some clout with the critics, and she has a sterling reputation as a hard worker on set.

so that’s the basic bio of frankie! now onto her personality >:-)

first of all, and most importantly, if you call her francesca you are DEAD.

frankie’s described by the media as a spitfire, and she definitely lives up to that description. she’s not particularly patient with interviews or paparazzi, she has a nasty mouth and an acerbic sense of humor, and to the general public she probably comes across as quite guarded and private about her life. she got into this business to be an actress, not a celebrity. 

nevertheless, if she wanted to be a celebrity, she could probably be a pretty beloved one. frankie has a very charismatic, charming way about her, that probably lets her get away with more in the public eye than she should. there’s just something about that hollywood story that makes people relate to her and root for her. 

the number one defining characteristic of frankie is her passion. she throws herself intensely into everything she does, feels emotions too vividly, fights for what she wants. she cares so much about everything. acting is her main passion, her forever love. it’s why she’s so good at what she does: she’s not the most talented, she doesn’t have the most training, but she feels so intensely. it also makes her very emotional (classic cancer!) if you’re close with her

also because of this passion, she’s probably the most competitive person you’ll ever meet in your entire life. she’s like, slightly insane about it? she wants to win everything, but she hates losing even more than she likes winning. she’s the type to throw a tiny tantrum if she loses a game of uno. 

frankie’s always been bold, likes to live life on the edge, but it became something much uglier after her mother’s death. she’s reckless to the nth degree: doing her own stunts, drinking and partying the night away. she’s not suicidal, but in some ways, it’s like she doesn’t have a huge regard for her own life. 

in her private life, frankie is pretty different. it’s not so much that her negative qualities disappear -- she still swears like a sailor and is less than patient. but rather, the flaws become less apparent when you get to know her. she’s sort of a goofy little marshmallow wearing a giant suit of spiky armor. 

one of the most loyal people you will ever meet, because she throws herself headlong into friendships and relationships. she’s sort of an all or nothing type gal, so if you befriend frankie expect it to be a very close relationship whether you like it or not. 

she is kind of the crazy friend? she’s baby? like she’s absolutely the person who’s encouraging everyone else to do dumb shit, and she’s always coming up with ridiculous ideas and pranks. side note give frankie a prank buddy on set!

she’s really quite witty. she absolutely loves twitter, which is basically the only glimpse the general public would get as to who frankie is in private. her twitter filled with her dumb jokes and random thoughts. in another life, she might have been a twitter comic.

she is a hopeless romantic, which she will never admit to anyone in the world unless it’s layered under 100 miles of sarcasm. the only relationship she’s really ever known is her parents’ relationship, and they were madly in love til the bitter end. she desperately wants something like that, but hasn’t quite found it. she’s been in exactly one pr relationship, but nothing particularly real or long-lasting.

she loves fashion. her mother taught her to sew and she sketches and makes some of her own clothes. her absolute dream is to collab with a designer on a fashion line: some of her favorite labels are marc jacobs, jean paul-gaultier, sies marjan, and moschino! she’s also had a lot of positive press for her red carpet looks. 

she has a dog, who she loves more than anything! his name is duke, he’s a staffie rescue, and she brings him on set frequently. she’s lobbying to get him cast as someone’s dog. 

she’s playing skylar ellis on the village, and because this is literally so long you can find some info about skylar at these links: statistics, muse posts, social media. i haven’t finished writing her entire bio yet but here’s the rundown: skylar appears to everyone like the pretty princess who has everything she could ever want. her parents are rich, she’s beautiful and smart, and she has a perfect relationship with phillip. but on the inside, she’s drowning. her dad wants her to take over the family company but she wants to be a writer, and the worst part is that she’s good at writing and horrible at business! she’s always been content to go with the flow (aka, what her parents want) because things are good in her life, but after her encounter with james over the summer, she’s realizing that she is completely trapped in a life she doesn’t want in the least. now she’s a conflicted mess of emotion trying to figure out what to do. 

[60b3r]

Memes Kill Creativity?

Memes vs. Genes

In the 1976 book The Selfish Gene, Richard Dawkins coined the term 'meme' to describe something with symbolic meaning that spreads by imitation from person to person within a culture. This idea is an analogue to the nature of selfish gene, described similarly as a piece of genetic material possessing information required to be able to replicate themselves inside a living. The only key difference in both terms is that the gene is natural, while memes are artificial. The rest of memes' operating schemes completely mimic the genes perfectly. In our current timeline, memes as we know today are taking many forms: as image macros, short videos, and rick-rollicking music. Memes in imageboards and forums have been pushing internet porn traffic into a stalemate and putting our power grid into unnecessary burden. Of course, memes are not to be regretted, but otherwise need to be taken seriously, since they are able to put our current understanding of media industry and economic system into shame.

As with every other thing that have existed, memes are not exempt in its dualistic nature. If you ever venture to the depths of dark web, you may know that memes also took part in the infamous mimetic Tumblr-4chan War. Not only that, some memes are reportedly causing harm towards some users, even though it is often disguised or said to be a dank joke or mere sarcasm. Memes have seen its share of use in online bullying, mass shootings, and hate crimes, cowering behind the freedom of expression tag. Regardless, memes are also an extremely effective form of information transmission. Like all living systems with no set moral standards, memes do evolve and are subject to natural selection. Memes, like genes, actually work like a mindless machine. Again, this is eerily like the performance of DNA in living systems. The last thing we want from this thing is virulence.

Every day, something went viral on Twitter. Hashtags are flaring into the top trends, some videos are being watched billions of times, and another cat vs. cucumber pic garnered thousands of likes. Viral properties of a virus (duh) is defined as the capability to multiply quickly in relatively short amount of time. The term saw a huge increase in usage during the dawn of the internet age and the rise of computer malwares spread through unsecured ports of network protocol. This term is being applied to memes, as it is like a virus (which is a pure embodiment of a selfish gene). Now, a lot of people are utilizing memes to create art, because it enables them to cater the short-attention spans of current internet users. They create shorts, illustrations, inside jokes, and small comic strips. Some of you might not agree with me on this one, but stay with me now and I will explain to you why I would like to treat memes and art as a single unit of interest in this argument.

The dawn of meme-technology

Viral memes and their popularity are now often considered important in defining a time period in the internet culture. Now every netizen can somewhat distinguish the approximate age, sex, and political views of other users from the usage of rage comics, meme songs, and meme platforms they use. Intuitively we can make a generalized difference between the userbase of Reddit, 4chan, 9gag, Vine, and now Tiktok. Others, by the share of relatability with sub-genres of different areas of interest (film memes and game memes). Some others, even, in the perspectives of different social and economic class system (first world problems and third world success memes). Meme preferences to us netizens are ironically giving away our anonymous identity. Identity which the media companies are vying to get their hands on. That's where I would like to come into my opening argument: both memes and genes which originally possesses no intrinsic value, suddenly become a subject of value with technology.

How do we draw the logic, I say? The ones and zeros inside electrical systems are value-free, so does DNA in living cells. As we meddle ourselves with biotechnology to manipulate genetic material for profit, we also simmer ourselves in the computer sciences and tweak physical computation to perform better. We give value in the inanimate object by manipulating them. In our world, we often heard these expressions: that communication is key, sometimes silence is golden, and those who control the information wields the power. What’s these three statements have in common? Yes, information and expression. Memes are the simplest form of both. This is the beginning of the logic: memes are no longer in and on itself independent of external values. The infusion of utilitarian properties in memes as artificial constructs are seemingly inevitable, and for the better or worse shapes our current society.

We might have heard that somewhere somehow, the so called ‘global elites’ with their power and wealth are constantly controlling biotech research and information technology—or, in the contrary, they control these knowledge and resources to keep shovelling money and consolidate their power. Memes are one of their tools to ‘steer’ the world according to their 'progressive agenda', seemingly driving the world ‘forward’ towards innovation and openness. Nah, I am just joking. But, stay with me now. It is actually not them (the so-called global elites) who you should be worried about. It is us—you and I, ourselves—and our own way of unwittingly enjoying memes that are both toxic and fuelling the age-old capitalism. Funny, isn't it? We blame society, but we are society. But how are be becoming the culprits yet also be the prey at the same time?

Middle-class artists are hurt

Now, aggressive marketing tactics using memes are soaring. Media companies are no doubt cashing in the internet and viral memes to their own benefit. Streaming and cataloguing are putting up a good fight compared to their retail, classic ways of content delivery. This is quite true with the strategies of Spotify and YouTube, other media companies alike. They can secure rights to provide high-quality content from big time artists and filmmakers and target these works directly to the end consumer, effectively cutting the cost of distribution which usually goes to the several layers of distribution line like vinyl products, radio contracts, and Blu-ray DVDs. I believe this is good, since it is like an affirmative action for amateur artists to start a career in the art industry. Or is it? Does it really encourage small-time artists to begin? Yes. How about the middle-class artists? Not necessarily.

You might sometimes wonder, “how the hell did I get somewhere just by following the trending or hot section in the feed?”. This toxicity of memes often brings some bad things to our tables. Social media algorithms handle contents (like viral memes) by putting those with high views or likes to the front page, effectively ‘promoting’ the already popular post and creating a positive feedback cycle. By doing so, they could capitalize on ad profits on just few ‘quality’ contents over huge amounts of audience in a very short amount of time. The problem is most of the time, these ‘quality’ contents have no quality at all. They just happen to possess the correct formula to be viral, with the correct SEO keywords and click-bait titles with no real leverage in the art movement. This way, I often find both the talented and the lucky—of which the boundaries between them are always blurred—overshadow the aspiring ‘middle-class’ artists who work hard to perfect their craft.

If you are already a famous guitarist with large fanbase, lucky you, you are almost guaranteed to top the billboards. What, you have no skills? Post a video of you playing ‘air guitar’ and… affirmative actions to the rescue. Keep on riding the hype wave and suddenly you get to top trending with minimal effort, thanks to your weird haircut. Those haters will surely make a meme out of your silly haircut, not even your non-existent guitar skills. But still, hype is still a hype, and there’s no such thing as a bad publication. This also answers why simple account who reposts other people’s content could get much more followers than the hard-working creators. Not only being outperformed by the already famous artists taking social media by storm, now the ‘middle-class’ artists are also dealing with widespread content theft and repost accounts because of the unfair, bot grading system. It is unimaginable how many nobodies got the spotlight they don’t deserve just because they look or act stupid and the whole internet cheers around them. Remember, this is not always about the artist, but also the quality of the art itself. I believe a good art should be meaningful to the beholder.

Why capitalism kills creativity

The problem in current art industry is that we are feeling exhausted with the same, generic, and recycled stuff. We indeed already see there’s less discourse about art now. Sure, the problem lies not in the artist or medium, but is in the viewers—the consumer of the art form—and how the capitalist system reacts to it. The hyper efficient capitalist system doesn’t want to waste any more time and money trying to figure out what’s new or what’s next for you. What we love to see, what is familiar to us, the market delivers them. The rise of viral memes phenomenon in the social media pushes the market system to the point where they demand artists to create the same, redundant, easy art form. Listen to some of The Chainsmokers’ work and we'll see what music have become: the identical 4-chord progression, the same drop, the predictable riser, and the absence of meaningful lyrics. We sat down and watch over the same superhero movies trying hard to be the next Marvel blockbuster. The production companies are also happy not to pay writers extra to come up with new ideas and instead settle with borrowed old scripts from decades old TV drama. Disney's The Lion King and its heavy use of the earlier Japanese Kimba The White Lion storyline is one guilty example.

Despite it initially being an economic system and not a political ideology, it is untrue that many Marxist philosophers usher the suppression of art. While it is ironic that Stalinist policy intends to curb ‘counter-revolutionaries’—in this case his enemies—by limiting freedom of press and media; American propaganda added further so that it seems that the ideology is also limiting art and kill creativity. We all know the Red Scare in the U.S. during the Cold War saw a popular narrative of communism and socialism that is devoid of freedom of expression. This state propaganda then further become ‘dehumanization’ and make freedom of expression invalid under the guise of equality. Marx argue that total equality is not possible, and the uniqueness is being celebrated by having them doing what they do best and provide the best for their community. Thus, an individual's interests should be indistinguishable from the society's interest. Freedom is granted when the whole society is likely to benefit from an action. According to Mao in his Little Red Book, freedom of expression in art and literature, after all, is what initially drive the class consciousness. It is capitalism, not communism, that kills creativity.

If left unchecked, the threat of this feedback loop is going to cause a lack of diversity, resulting in stale content, less art critique, and overall decline in our artistic senses. Artists’ creativity that are supposedly protected by the free internet are destroyed within itself through the sheer overuse of viral memes. Capitalism has successfully turned the supposedly open, free-for-all, value-free platform that is the internet against the people into a media in which they are undeniably shaping new values on its own: the art culture that's not geared towards aesthetics and appreciation, but towards more views and personalized clicks. How social media and media industry caters to the demands of the consumer are, in Marx's own words, “digging its own grave”.

Spare nothing, not even the nostalgia

Well, people romanticize the oldies. The good old days, when everything is seen as better and easier. Look at the new art installations that uses the aesthetics of naughty 90s graphic design to become new, the posters released in this decade but with an art deco of the egregious 80s pop artist Andy Warhol, or the special agent-spy movies set frozen in the Nifty Fifties. Nostalgia offers us a way to escape from the hectic choices of our contemporary: different genres of music, dozens of movies to watch, and different fashion to consider. We choose to settle with our old habits, that we know just works. Remember how do we throw our money on sequels and reboots and remakes of old movies we used to watch during our younger days? We don’t even care about new releases at the cinema! Did you remember how Transformers 2 and their subsequent sequels perform at the box office at their opening week?

The huge sales of figurines and toys of Star Wars franchise—if we could scrutinize them enough—came from the old loyal fanbase of the late Lucasfilm series, not primarily from new viewers. Then suddenly, surprise-surprise. Our love for an old franchise deemed dead enough to be remembered and treasure soon must be destroyed to pave way for three new outrageous sequels (the ones with Kylo Ren and Snoke) by the grace of our beloved capitalism. Sadly, nothing is left untouched by the capitalism’s unforgiving corruption. Nostalgia has become a gimmick that makes people like some art more than they should, because it’s familiar. It is another way of squeezing your pocket dry.

Not that it is bad to make derivatives like covers or remixes, but the trade-offs are far too high. Consequentially, the number of original arts is now very little, because artists don’t bother making new stuff if they just aim for a quick buck. Most of the young adult novels are essentially the same lazy story progression with only different time setting and different character names. Most of them even have the same ending! No more a beautiful journey like the thrillers of Dan Brown or the epic adventures of Tolkien’s Lord of The Rings, which defines their respective times. Do we seriously want to consider Twilight and 50 Shades of Grey as a unique work? Isn’t the Hunger Games and the Maze Runner essentially the same?

If you play video games, you must have known that the trend always starts over. Game developers are making gazillions of sequels, and only a few of them that are actually good. Most are outright trash. Oh, wait, old video games like Homeworld are also getting remasters to cater the demand of nostalgic consumers. No new Command and Conquer release from EA Games? Re-release the 25 years old Red Alert because people will re-buy it! Profit!

15 June 2020 8.03 PM

[captain-aralias]

Immediate thoughts about Wayward Son after just finishing and not that much sleep

..

I’m really hoping this spoiler cut works.

...

RIP Micah :( 

So - the first thing I’m going to say is... I didn’t think we would lose Micah. Weirdly this is the thing that is probably the biggest negative for me about the book.

Just yesterday I was confidently saying that I didn’t think Rainbow would do anything that would muck up the way I saw canon and most that’s true. But I am vv sad about Micah, even though - as I read on - I thought: I get why this has happened. 

It’s so Penny has a story too, and it’s not just all about Simon. So in this book she not only loses Micah (which it turns out wasn’t that bad because I guess she didn’t like him enough), but she loses her certainty in herself - and has to get it back. And that’s a story. 

So yes - I get it. It’s because it’s a book, not a fanfic where Penny doesn’t have to be a character. But alas - I really liked the idea of Micah and Penny, even without knowing Micah at all. I was invested! 

On the other hand - now we don’t have to deal with the Penny moves to America forever to be with Micah trope, which never made sense to me because I always thought Penny would stay and Micah would move with her. Which I would guess may be the plan for Shepard. Interestingly he’s totes into magickal creatures, which makes him quite a bit like the Micah I wrote in the Mage’s Heir - but also, I am sad.

RIP Agatha in America

The other thing I think we lost was the idea of Agatha being happy in America.

Even though Agatha’s a main character, this means less to me than the Penny/Micah thing - although I am still sad about it. If ‘Carry On’ had a secrets meme, I would probably write ‘You guys don’t know what you’re missing - the Mage is OBVIOUSLY one of the most interesting characters in this canon’, but  after that my second secret would be: ‘I don’t dislike Agatha, but I don’t like her that much’. (Clearly neither of these things are secrets and I just wrote them into a post). 

When I read the preview of the 4 chapters on Kobo, the thing I was most disappointed by was finding out that Agatha and a cult were going to be important to the plot. I thought Agatha’s story was over, because she just didn’t want to be part of the story! (That the cult turned out to be a vampire cult turned it around for me a bit, but we’ll talk more about that later).

I still don’t really like Agatha’s story in ‘Wayward Son’. I don’t like that she has to come home, even though I don’t really like her. I liked our idea that she was happy. That said, I DO like the clear plot arc that she’s been given here which is that she rescues herself. And she rescues everyone. Not just a bit, like how Peter Pettigrew was redeemed a bit by holding back a bit (which was one of the most disappointing parts of Potter canon for me - can you tell?). She uses a power that frankly I don’t think most magicians have, and then set a lot of vampires on fire. That’s good! That’s a reason for Agatha to be in the book. She grew!

Simon/Baz 

I can see a few people being upset about this in some of the spoiler posts I’ve glanced at (I basically just came on here and started typing after trying and failing to find the Discord so I haven’t read anything in detail). I actually don’t get it. People are saying that Rainbow isnt supporting the gays... because Baz was sort of into another guy? Maybe? Because Simon and Baz didn’t kiss in that final scene? 

I actually literally do not get it, so maybe someone will tell me in response to this post! No gays were ruined in the making of this story; they were just sad. 

Again - it makes sense to me that they’re having relationship difficulties, given that Simon’s so tuned out. But never in either of their POVs do I get the impression that they aren’t still mad for each other. They both just have other stuff going on that they’re having to deal with. 

Personally I quite like Simon being really jealous about Baz and other guys. I can’t remember exactly if Baz thought it was super hot - but I did. I like possessiveness as a trope.

The kissing in the truck is lovely - and clearly the chapter 61 we were promised. Simon flying with Baz - Simon FLYING. I’m pretty sure none of us saw that one coming. 

I can’t remember whether it was ever said (even though I’ve read ‘Carry On’ loads), but it may have been implied that Simon’s wings don’t work in ‘Carry On’... but clearly they do. Or he got better. 

The future

There are lots of dangling threads from this book

Rainbow is a massive Star Wars person. This book is CLEARLY supposed to be ‘Empire’, it’s the dark one. The one where everything goes wrong, and relationships don’t quite work out. And the next book is set at Watford - hooray! That means we can have the political schenagins I was saddened I wasn’t going to get from a book about a roadtrip set in America. 

For me the other dangling threads that I’d pull on are: 

The Next Blood are trying to give people magic. So for the first time, I’m thinking... maybe Simon will get his magic back, whereas previously I thought: he’s going to have to deal with it being gone forever, and with the wings (which are clearly now shown to be a good thing. I always wanted him to keep them - but now I’m not sure whether he will ...)

Blue, the water demon, said that Simon gave the world back MORE magic than he took from it. Again - this feels like Simon gets his magic back in book 3. Or does something to bring magic back properly, or change it. 

Baz learned about being a vampire!! He learned that vampire bites don’t necessarily kill. I think we all know what this means. (I was really worried when Simon got shot that Baz was going to have to vamp him. Glad he didn’t. I don’t want vampire Simon and vampire Baz - one vampire is sexy, two is a problem). Baz also learned that he might well live forever. What will it mean for his future??? 

Penny/Shepard - I mean, either that or Rainbow’s going to blindside me with Penny/Agatha after all these years. I mean, she wrote it into ‘Fangirl’ as the thing Cath always read, but I was very much of Baz’s mindset - that bit where he says ‘hey, it’s your ex-boyfriend, and his boyfriend, and a girl you don’t like very much’. I thought  yes! That’s exactly how I see it. But now I’m thinking.... why has Penny been texting her so much? Maybe there IS something there... I’m convincing myself more and more with this post. Christ. Well, let’s see. 

Something about magic and secrecy maybe. There’s something in that... 

Let’s talk about mah fic (the Mage’s Heir) quickly

Since we’re talking about what I’d do with this. 

I didn’t think the book would be very similar to Mage’s Heir, because it was set in America and about a roadtrip - but it was more similar than I expected.

It’s about Simon feeling better through being useful and kicking the shit out of dark creatures (the final chapters where he accepts he’s not a superhero don’t feel right to me. I think he needs to re-evaluate that again). 

Penny feels out of step with what’s going on... Wayward Son is much more advanced, obviously. Mine is very soft as it’s only a sub-plot.

Baz finds out more about his vampire heritage, and learns that he can definitely bite Simon and that it will be sexy when it happens. (That’s my reading of it, anyway). 

There’s an alliance with various sets of magickal creatures. I thought there might actually be a vampire alliance, but the problem is that I guess Rainbow really does think they are legit evil. More to do on that one. (There’s a misprint where Nicky’s surname is given as Ebb - I’m guessing it will be corrected later. Either that or Baz just forgot what he was called, which I can believe.) I think this could be in the third book - it feels to me that that’s what Shepard is for, to tell us that magickal creatures are good actually. For me it’s the thing the Mage got most wrong (in terms of the vampires and the goblins), and the most right (in terms of letting in pixies and centaurs, etc).

I would argue... maybe... that it’s possible the Mage’s Heir might seem more satisfying than this book to readers. Difficult to say this without seeming up-myself, but I’m arguing it because I sort of feel that way about my favourite (that I didn’t write) post Watford fic, which is ALSO a roadtrip in America: There'll Be Peace When You Are Done. 

I don’t think that means either fic is better than ‘Wayward Son’. They’re fic. To some extent, even if you don’t expect what will happen in the plot, they give the reader what they expect. A strong focus on Simon and Baz and their relationship working out, relatively minimal other stuff that doesn’t support this as the major plot. 

Rainbow sort of talked about this recently on Twitter as well, about books that feel like fic being great. So it would have made sense for this book to read like a fic.. 

Interestingly, it really doesn’t.

I purposefully used the Mage’s Heir to close off all the loose ends I thought had been left by ‘Carry On’, and ‘They’ll Be Peace...’ closes off its own story about how Simon gets over his trauma and fixes his relationship. ‘Wayward Son’ doesn’t do that at all. It opens up a whole bunch of new shit for our heroes to deal with, and doesn’t close any of it off - because it’s Empire. 

Sidenote:

I was told we were going to find out the Mage’s name - I believed it! But we didn’t find it out at all. In a way, I like that. Because one of the things I was semi-worried about (even though I was like - there’s nothing to worry about!!!) was finding out more about Watford and the Mage, which would mean that more of the Watford-era fic we’ve got wouldn’t work as well anymore. And I guess I’m invested in the Simon parentage question. I know - you’re all shocked. 

I was surprised we didn’t find it out in this book - again, it makes sense given that we know there’s another book to come and it will be set back in the country where all this shit went down. 

The one thing we did find out about the Mage was that he hates America. 

Maverick and terrorists. No sense of community, no common goals. Half of them using their magic to wash the dishes, half of them living like debauched sultans. I blame the vernacular. Wholly unstable! Too much in flux! Their dialect is like a river stripped of its natural bends and shallows - their spells expire before they even master them. My heart is always with the rebels, Simon, in any struggle. But America is a failed experiment. A chaos country where mages have lost all sense of themselves. Where they live off the Normals like parasites-like dark creatures.

I’m not sure, having read this book, what that means for my idea of the ways he’s right and wrong. When I read that bit I was like - man, this is about how he’s a hypocrite again, boo, like how he’s a sexist. But then I read the rest of the book and I’m thinking... maybe the Mage is right and America is legit terrible for magic. 

We only see it being bad  (even Micah was bad!! RIP Micah). It has its own Humdrum just because it’s BIG, and almost everyone wants to kill our heroes. Maybe it’s a helpful sign of what the UK might become unless it changes. (Metaphorical, ain’t it?)

Things I loved

- the ren fayre. I mean, I loved all of this scene. Even though I am still a bit anxious about Simon just hacking people’s heads off without working out whether they are really really REALLY evil (I’m still like - maybe Lamb just isn’t that bad REALLY? If you spoke to him more??? He’s just racist. IDK) I loved the fight, I loved Baz not being that good at sword fighting, and being very good at fake olde english. i didn’t actually get round to putting it into the meme, but one of my prompts would have been ‘simon/baz, swordfighting’ - so thank you Rainbow. You delivered.

- Baz teaching Simon to drive <3

- Baz having to pretend to be a super glam vampire in a den full of vampires. It didn’t quite play out exactly how I would have liked, but when I realised that was what I was going to happen, I almost clapped my hands in real life, I was so happy. I like that the plot was about vampires, even if the cult stuff still didn’t work for me even at the end. Cults are boring.

- Dragon lady. Dragon lady calling Simon ‘kitten’. (But I don’t want him to ACTUALLY turn into a dragon)

- All the boring mudane stuff at the beginning where they’re on a plane and Simon’s watching shit movies. 

- More info about how magic works, the dead spots (not even CAUSED by Simon’s magic. Maybe this is something we could use in terms of getting the magic back that the Humdrum stole. Martin Bunce should come and investigate). Baz is too British for America. (Poor Baz, he hated this holiday so much. It was terrible, I agree)

- I liked the vampire showdown at the end, as I said. Simon kicking people and flying, and there was a bit where Penny had no plan and Simon had the plan and I was like ‘OMG SIMON YOU HAD THE PLAN’. It was great. 

- Baz chose clothes for Simon. Baz wore nice clothes. 

- Baz drunk. Simon jealous. 

- I liked Sheperd, even though I was angry at him for not being Micah. (He could have been Micah!!) 

- Baz’s mother’s scarf and the fact that Simon saved it for him, because he knows it’s important. 

Things I didn’t like/conclusion (for now) - 

There’s not much I actively didn’t like, to be honest, except the Micah stuff, and the fact we had to deal with a cult. I guess I thought Simon and Baz would have fixed things up by the end, but once I hit the end and saw there would be a sequel I realised why that hadn’t happened. 

BUT I think it might have been a mis-step to not even hint at the sequel, even though it feels like a spoiler. Because I think where people feel disappointed, it’s not just that it’s not like a fanfic - is that it didn’t do any of the things we expected. Simon didn’t even get over his trauma - which is fine. It’s the second book of at least three (probably three), but none of us knew that when we were reading it, which probably made other people anxious as well.

In general, I think it’s a more difficult book to like than ‘Carry On’ - because it’s pretty depressing throughout. There’s not much joy in it, which makes it hard to get jazzed up about. I thought the chapters we got in the preview were going to be the most depressing ones and Simon would cheer up once he got to America. And he DID - but everything else went to shit, and the way Baz and Penny hated it made it not fun, even though it was interesting. 

Interesting in the right way, though? Don’t know. 

I’m not sure how much fic I���ll be able to get out of it.... I guess I’ll have to think about it.It doesn’t feel as world-changing important as ‘Carry On’  It’s so clearly half of a story, so harder to write more on from since it’s really not clear what will come next (my guesses aside). I guess that’s the other thing we lost - post-Watford cuddling and first-time fics. Because we know they haven’t had sex by ‘Wayward Son’ and we don’t - yet - know how they’re going to get their relationship back on track.

There aren’t so many open spaces as there were in ‘Carry On’ which gives you eight years of open spaces to play in, as well as all of the future. 

So yeah - I don’t know. I definitely didn’t dislike it. And I’m excited for the next book.

I’ll listen to the audio book, and read it again a few times, and hopefully talk to some people about it a bit more. And see what I think. 

[vantekay]

thankful for you

its (almost) officially the new year! although I am writing this post in advance, its a new year and its time for some fresh starts.

I wanted to start this new year off by making a thank you post to my mutuals, anons, and followers; starting out with my mutuals. Also this will probably be pretty long and sappy so just a warning haha.

@peachyuns was the first mutual I made on this site, we met over the dora au that plagued Twitter and freaked out over it together, although we don't talk as much anymore she still helped me kick start this blog! she sent me some tumblrs who did the hex code layouts I told her I wanted to start and I will forever be grateful for that, never forget how talented and sweet you are, I love you tam 💕.

@couture-kookie was the second mutual I made on this site and helped me a lot when it came to understanding how to make a masterlist 😂 we would send each other memes and talk about how ugly twitter is and I always laughed when we would message. You are such an amazing writer and an amazing person! I love you court 💕.

@melonkooky was the next mutual I made and I am so grateful for her as well. She helped me with this blog a lot too, mostly just me spouting ideas out and her telling me I should go for it 😂 but it was the motivation I needed to get this blog to where it is now even if it isn't too big right now. You are so sweet and funny and just an amazing person, not to mention talented at writing. I love you mina 💕.

@bangtanmssg thank god I got the balls to message you about making your masterlist for you. I'm so glad we met, and I'm so excited to be an admin for you new blog! It makes me so happy to know that you have enlisted so much trust in me and I hope you know I trust you a lot too. you're such a sweet and caring person and I hope we can grow as friends. never ever lose the light that you possess, because believe me when I say you can make anybody's day better just by being you. I love you sol 💕.

@vantaeta we met through the new blog! I was very nervous when I first messaged you about the theme of the blog but you were so nice it melted all my worries away. We clicked pretty much instantly and I'm so grateful to be working with such a funny and kind person. You are super talented and I hope you have happy days forever. I love you rae 💕.

@triviamang , you are so so so sweet and caring its so endearing and makes me happy if that makes sense haha. you have such a pure soul and I'm so glad we became mutuals. You're so talented at writing and I'm so excited to see how your account continues to grow, hopefully our friendship can grow along with it :) I love you ness 💕.

@ethertae you are absolutely lovely and I love you. we don't talk much but thats okay! seeing your posts on my dash makes me so happy. You are an absolute sweetheart and I love being mutuals with you. You are incredibly talented and such an interesting person, I hope we can grow closer this year :) I love you kina 💕 .

@namiiy I am so glad we met, you are the brightest and most positive person I have ever met. You've made my bad days just those little bit brighter and made me hopeful for the next days to come. Thank you for always being so kinda and having such a beautiful soul. I love you nam (sorry idk what to call you ah) 💕.

@taes-strawberry we only just met but! you are so amazing and incredible and just all of it. I thought our first convo would be awkward but it was so easy to talk to you and that is so amazing to me. I love how alike we are and I really hope we continue to be crackheads together. I love you rahmah 💕

to all of you I just made little messages for, please never forget that you are loved and valued. and if you ever need someone to talk to I am here :)

to my handful of anon friends:

I really do love you guys a lot, your asks never fail to make my day even if it’s something as simple as a hello. I always thought it was kind of silly when I saw other and bigger blogs posting simple asks and saying that it made their day until I actually started receiving them myself. even if you think whatever you have to say isn’t important believe me when I say it is. please never hesitate to send me an ask- anon or not- and tell me about your day, tell me something good that happened to you recently or even tell me something you just need to get off of your chest. I’m the kind of person who loves to help others, I always give advice and I always try to help to the best of my ability and knowledge so please always know that I am here for you, and if you don’t want everyone on the blog to know about what you’re going through you can always just message me privately! I promise it will always stay between us. my messages are always open for anybody and any situation :)

to my followers:

thank you guys for being here for me and enjoying the content I put out on this blog. I’ve always somewhat felt bad about myself as a content creator (though I feel like I shouldn’t even call myself that cause I do the bare minimum compared to other really good art or writing blogs but thats just me) because I don’t put out things like fics or reactions but that’s simply because I don’t feel confident in my writing abilities and I would be afraid to make assumptions about the boys personalities and just all that stupid stuff but even still, I hope you guys can always find something you like on this blog. I’m a very indecisive person who changes their mind a lot and is always wanting to learn and explore new things so this blog will probably have a wide array of things on it within the next year or so, and I hope you guys will stick with me through all and any content changes I may decide on. I have never been confident in myself as a creator but through this blog I am starting to find worth in the things I put my time and energy into, and I will always be eternally grateful for that and the only way I can think of expressing my gratitude for this is by saying thank you.

I haven’t been on tumblr long- if I remember correctly I made a blog in june maybe but didn’t start posting my own content until around august but I can’t remember- but in the short amount of time I have been, I have made incredible friends and laughed so so so much. I haven’t really talked about it openly on this site, but this year was probably one of the hardest, longest and most mentally draining I have ever had. Life was rough, I went through a lot of hardships and found out more about my mental health issues and how to start coping with them, I moved from my childhood neighborhood and started a whole new life at the peak of my highschool career and faced (and still facing) a lot of anxiety issues because of it but thanks to this blog and the amazing people I have met through it and the people I follow I have been able to end this year with a smile on my face, high hopes for the future, and dreams I feel I can actually accomplish. I said it before and I’ll say it again although I feel as if it doesn’t really express how thankful I am, thank you all for everything. My experience on this site has been nothing short of joyful and I hope it stays that way for a long time. I hope you guys, no matter if 2018 was a good or bad year for you, can also go into this new year with a little bit of hope and happiness for yourself and whatever you wish to achieve in the future. thank you for an amazing end to this year :)

[thenightling]

When fandom becomes... Just dumb...

A few months ago I said that the fandom for Neil Gaiman’s Sandman was probably the nicest, warmest, most inviting fandom I had ever become a part of.  And this is still true now.

I was also in the Lucifer TV series fandom.  The show is what made me finally decide to give Sandman a chance last June. (Better late than never!) 

Ever since the cancellation however I have seen the Lucifer fandom kind of deteriorating...

Before Lucifer was canceled, the dumbed thing I had seen in the Tumblr fandom was bearing the occasional “headcanon” that Lucifer and Chloe would one day rule Hell together as King and Queen and they would live happily ever after in this way.  I have tried to rebuff this, explaining why I don’t believe Lucifer would want to go back to ruling Hell and why someone like Chloe could never rule Hell, also using quotes from the shows star that it’s “the ultimate redemption story.”  this all indicated to me that there was no chance Lucifer would go back to Hell. But explaining this perspective earned responses of “They have a right to their opinion!”  Yes, and I have a right to disagree with that opinion and to counter it with my own.  Having a right to your opinion does not mean it cannot be disagreed with. “Right to my opinion!” is not a magical shield that protects you from the opinions of others.  I hate when people use that to shoot down or dismiss discourse.

Yes, you can have your own “headcanon” but I’m just explaining why I don’t think it really works with the canon as we know it.  And I have a right to feel that way as surely as you have a right to feel contrary.   

No one can tell you what you can or can’t imagine.  That is always your choice but I have a right to explain why I don’t share your vision.  I have a right to disagree with it and imagine things my own way.  That’s what right to opinion actually means, it doesn’t mean “I get to make anyone who doesn’t agree with me shut up forever.”  I get to disagree with you, you get to disagree with me. That’s freedom.

Ah, but that was the worst of it for a while.   Nothing too serious really.  But then... Then the show got canceled.  And I made the mistake of joining several “Save Lucifer” facebook groups. And... things got dumb quickly.

First there were / are people who literally reply to everything with #SaveLucifer and #PickupLucifer.  And they even write it on meme pictures... Because Somehow Twitter can read a picture you posted on Facebook now?   

Besides the general lack of understanding of how hashtags work there were a few people out-right discouraging mentioning the source material.  “I ignore any post that mentions the comic strip.”  If you try to explain the difference between a comic book and comic strip you’re told you’re “Butt hurt.”  One woman with utter authority decided to say “Show fans are not comic book fans and fans of the show would never read a comic book.”  Umm... Excuse me?

A few “Most people don’t know it’s a comic.  I only know because my kids told me.”  It’s in the opening credits of every, single episode.  Do you cover your eyes when the text is on the screen?  

Then there were the constant sharing of express(dot)co(dot)uk articles, no matter how many times you tell them they’re a clickbait tabloid.  Stories that distort simple things like Tom Ellis doing an interview with BBC News and twisting it into “Is BBC Entertainment buying Lucifer?”  The trusting of Express is still on-going.

One posted about how in the Lucifer comics he doesn’t even quit Hell.  I tried to break it to this person that they were reading the wrong comics and he most certainly does quit Hell.  They have to read Sandman first and then Lucifer’s solo comics by Mike Carey.  He quits Hell in Sandman.  Later They posted something similar (about how Lucifer doesn’t even quit Hell in the comics) a few days later.   When I, again, tried to tell them that they were reading the wrong comics, they replied with “Are you done trying to spoil the whole story?  I’m not reading replies because I don’t want spoilers.”  

What part of…

YOU ARE READING THE WRONG COMICS

Do they not accept?  If someone knows this person please break this to them.

One recent incident I had was trying very hard to explain to an “expert” that the two Lucifer bonus episodes are NOT leftovers from Season 2.  That the season 2 episodes held over for season 3 had aired much earlier in the season.  Though I had linked a Q and A with Dan’s actor (director of one of the episodes) and a recent question response I saw on Neil Gaiman’s Tumblr, also confirming that the filming had been relatively recent- this person insisted they had done their “Research” and was refusing to accept that they were confusing old, several-month-old stories about the season 2 hold over episodes, and the two bonus episodes actually filmed for season four. 

People like that had been confusing and misleading fans and even commenting on articles about the bonus episodes because they couldn’t grasp that episodes filmed in season 2 and used for season 3 are NOT the same episodes shown AFTER the season 3 finale. They were shown after the finale because they weren’t actually intended for season 3. 

Here’s the common sense thing:  Season 2 Lucifer was filmed in Canada.  You can spot the Hold-over season 2 episodes easily because they are still using the Canadian sets and passing Vancouver off as LA. Those bonus episodes are using the authentic LA sets.  It’s not that complicated.   

   It would be one thing if this was just one person but several people were making this mistake and or repeating the misinformation.  Claiming, with absolute certainty, that those bonus episodes were filmed back in season 2.  Despite the fact that those two bonus episodes were still being sound mixed only days before they aired and were always intended as “stand alone” episodes for season four.  That’s also why the show had ended on a cliff hanger. They had thought they were definitely getting a season four. 

This particular one argued fiercely, this on particular “researched” person, and tried to explain away why she wouldn’t click the links I’d provided and wouldn’t read my ‘essay long” replies “because (she) has a life”.  Yeah, it became “That” kind of an argument.  

And there was at least one comment of “I wish Morgan Freeman had voiced God and not some random British guy.”  (That had earned sixteen likes...)

Then there were those who insisted Fox was going to buy Roseanne, that they had proof Fox was buying Roseanne (Satire articles and random Twitter posts from strangers) and that Roseanne would replace Lucifer.   After that came the conspiracy theorists that “One Million Moms got it canceled.”  One Million Moms was protesting Lucifer before it even aired.  If they were successful it would not have had three seasons...

Then came those that posted screen grabs of the show now airing on Mondays at eight.  Saying “This is what they replaced Lucifer with!”   Umm... I shouldn’t have to explain this to grown ups.  The season was over.  That means even if Lucifer had gotten a fourth season, that show currently in the timeslot, would be there.  That’s called a “Summer replacement” or “Summer filler.”  But again, it wasn’t just one or two people. It was lots and lots of people all saying things like “This is why I’ll never watch Fox again!”  “I can’t believe they think THIS will do better than Lucifer.”

One poor girl suggested that she would have liked it if Azrael dressed like a Goth girl like Death of The Endless only to get horrible responses of “lol I think Angels predate Goth.”  Yeah, and?  Angels predate Nightclubs, Armani suits, and Piano too.   And “No, I like her nice and sweet.” and “No, I like her nerdy.”  What exactly do they think Goth means?  Due to so much anti-Goth commenting the girl eventually deleted her post.  

Some of the weirder ones (that feel like they never watched the show) are people talking about how they’d happily go to Hell to be with Tom Ellis as The Devil.

And a few posts saying “I’d sell him my soul” with several agreements.  But in the comics and TV show he repeatedly says he does not buy souls.   You were told this IN the show.  He doesn’t like this sort of thing.  He’s all about free will, remember?

 In the two weeks I’ve been in these groups I’ve seen more obnoxious fanwank than nearly any other fandom I have ever been a part of.   I had never seen fandom so bad in such a concentrated way.     

But the last two days I’ve seen the worst of it...

First I witnessed one of the head writers ask William Shatner if he’d be willing to play God if the show comes back. (This happened on Twitter and then spread everywhere.)  This bothered me a little bit since I had just heard Neil Gaiman would be happy to return to voicing God.  Apparently Neil had even said “Just try and stop me.”  

 Now if it was another “Dad is possessing someone” story, sure. I could have accepted it but it still didn’t sit right for me.   And it was the comments that followed that really got under my skin.  “Yay!  I didn’t like Neil Gaiman as God anyway!” and “Good. Neil Gaiman sucked as God.”   Wow...  Such nice fans. so polite about the guy who created the thing they love. 

Neil Gaiman has stood behind SaveLucifer along with William Shatner.  And suppose this was a temporary “possession” thing (as I was starting to suspect it would have been) and Neil Gaiman was set to come back after that?  You think posting that he was awful is a good idea?  This should be common sense but  bashing the voice of the man who created the character is rude.   

I know she (the writer) was trying to rile up the fans at the exciting idea of William Shatner making a guest appearance but immediately after Neil Gaiman said he’d happily come back, and not giving context to how “Dad” would be Shatner caused problems in the fandom, not unity and cheering.  And weird, senseless, sudden insulting of the man who created the character.  I really don’t like that.

The writers have made some really horrible decisions in trying to manipulate fan reactions. That drawn out “Will Chloe ever learn the truth’ and then last minute cliffhanger come to mind.  Along with the whole “Will Chloe choose Pierce(Cain)?”  NO!   Of course she won’t pick Cain!  Tom Welling told everyone who interviewed him that the role was temporary.  Everyone knew it wouldn’t last. 

My experiences today though top the cake.

An anonymously created fan art is circulating of a fake season 4 poster.  “One Man.  Two faces.”  And it even says #SaveLucifer ON the poster but there are fans mistaking it as real.  It’s a fan art photoshop job not even of the tone of the first three season posters!  It literally says “#Savelucifer” on the poster!  It looks almost like a poster for a low budget horror movie.  But they are mistaking it as real.

And finally, there is mild- very slight- not taken too seriously, rumor that Neil Gaiman’s Sandman might finally be adapted.  I know what triggered this rumor.  It’s because Matthew Cable is going to be in the new Swamp Thing series for DC’s streaming service.  And today Matthew is more well known for his role in Sandman than Swamp Thing.       

And for the first time in my entire experience in the Lucifer fandom I saw true anti-Sandman comments.  Not anti comics (I was starting to get used to those even if they felt like 1950s level ignorance), but actual anti-Sandman. 

 “If they do Sandman but not Lucifer their streaming service is gonna fail!” and “Boycott Sandman!”  “It’s our Lucifer or no Lucifer!”  You don’t even know what’s IN Sandman!  You might even like it!  It’s not a competition.  The Sandman didn’t make Lucifer get canceled.    

They don’t even realize some of their favorite lines IN the Lucifer TV show are direct quotes from the Sandman comics that they are now bashing!

When the fans start bashing the character’s creator, and the source material I tend to lose interest.  It’s like when I saw that the director of Victor Frankenstein had said the Mary Shelley novel was “as dull as dishwater.”  Yeah, how’s that working out for you, pal? 

  At this point if Lucifer is saved I’m not sure I’m going to watch it.  

The facebook portion of the fandom is really rubbing me the wrong way.  And most are thirty-somethings acting like children or newbies to the Internet. 

 In closed (private) Facebook groups replying to posts with a nausea inducing chorus of #Savelucifer and #Pickuplucifer (and jpeg pictures of the hashtags as if that somehow works!) is not going to DO anything.  And many are literally replying to everything with those tags or adding it to every post and when people try to explain that is not how the hashtags work in a private group on Facebook they get angry and accuse the person of not actually wanting to save the show.  It’s demented.

I admit I was already a little bitter the third season of the show focussed on the “ships” too much and ridiculously stretched out the “Will Chloe ever find out the truth?” only to leave it on a cliffhanger, and the writing in season 3 felt inconsistent to me. - (Cain wants to be mortal and then after a very short conversation decides he wants to be immortal.  As if he never considered the pratfalls of being mortal in his thousands of years of life?  He “loves” Chloe but opens fire on her?  And don’t get me started on what they did to Mazikeen, or Trixie accidentally giving pot brownies to her elderly teacher until she couldn’t feel her legs.  And Maze “hilariously” - and treated like it’s no big deal- throwing male strippers into traffic...) -  but I was willing to fight to try to get the show a fourth season, in the hope that a fourth season could go back to the quality of the first two seasons.  However after all the stupidity, rudeness, and assholary I’ve witnessed in the last two weeks I don’t think it’s worth it.   I know none of them will read this as they seem allergic to “long” comments.  

I’m getting seriously burnt out on the behavior of too many Lucifer fans...

[phylophe]

OC Ask Meme

[I saw this on a Twitter post as a screencap from Tumblr. If anyone who sees this (haha) knows the OP, please let me know!]

Character: Oka Universe: Pathfinder Gender/Race/Class: Female half-elf Druid Alignment: LN?

Full post under the cut.

1. How do they celebrate their birthday?

She doesn’t know if what she’s been told is her birthday is her real birthday, and it’s a sore spots with her mother ditching her with her thotty dad, so she doesn’t celebrate it.

2. Who is the most important person in their life?

Her full-elven younger half-sister, Tyosha, who is the only person for whom she’d return to Kyonin.

3. What to they wear when they’re just at home hanging out?

Either a short, loose one-piece dress, or a loose shirt with breezy shorts. No underwear.

4. What is their house like?

She travels around with the Gray Corsairs, so it looks like a ship!

5. Any pets?

No, but if she could have an animal companion she’d choose a bird or something that can fly. She’d love a pet bird otherwise but mostly for the aesthetics. 

6. What will always make them smile?

The open sea, honey mead, and rowdy folk songs with heart. 

7. What will always make them cry?

Losing a friend or a comrade, and when she’s drunk: someone picking on her hair or her freckles. 

8. What’s their favourite movie (or, what would be their favourite movie)?

Oddly enough, she would enjoy out-of-this-world sci-fi, but no horror please. 

9. Favourite book?

She doesn’t like reading books in general but would like The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy.

10. Do they get along with their parents?

Definite no - she was the result of a fling between a travelling human bard and a floozy elven minor-royalty. Her mother didn’t want the burden of a child so left her with her father, who has an elven wife but many mistresses with whom he’s had a lot of children. 

11. If you could put them into a different fictional universe, where would they go?

Pirates of the Caribbean comes to mind, with fantastical nautical shenanigans.

12. Favourite holiday?

Summer solstice or equivalent - she feels at home in storms and roiling seas. 

13. Tattoos?

None but she would be open to getting one of a lighthouse atop a rocky hill. 

14. What was their first kiss like?

She hasn’t had it yet - she is capable of having romantic and sexual feelings, but she’s very averse to such relationships at this point, thanks to her parents.

15. Have they ever lost somebody they loved?

Her crew of the Eagle Knight ship, Cragspire, before she joined the Gray Corsairs. They disappeared off the port of Katapesh and were never found or recovered. 

And temporarily Elasha, an acquaintance she met while on a mission in Katapesh who took on the role of a crazy aunt. 

16. They find a genie and are granted three wishes, what do they wish for, and why?

1. For Cragspire, her Captain Tawejja, and the crew to return safe and sound.

2. For Ilet, her childhood friend, to be reunited with her. He went out into the world shortly before she did as an adventurer, and soon they lost contact. 

3. For Tyosha to grow up without being embroiled into elven high society politics.

17. They’re stranded on an island and can only have 4 items and one companion, who and what do they bring?

A spyglass, a water skin, a hunting knife, and a bag of holding. 

For companion, she’d want Mikyur to come along - at least post-Magnimar Mikyur, who is braver and more mature. Otherwise she’d want Bronx, who’s becoming something of a father-figure, to come along. 

18. What’s a quote (not from their universe), that you associate them with?

I don't just wish you rain, Beloved - I wish you the beauty of storms...” - John Geddes, A Familiar Rain.

19. Any romantic interests?

Maybe eventually, after she gets over her mountain of family baggage.

20. What kind of accent do they have?

Whatever the Kyonin accent is. She’d speak crude words with the cadence of refined elves.

21. What is their most prized possession?

Her scroll case, inside which are some of her best works as a cartographer, and memories of her time with the Cragspire crew. 

22. Have they ever stolen anything?

Yes, when she was a rebellious teen in Greengold who was longing for a life where she’s free and at least properly outcasted. 

[thelioninmybed]

If I'm not too late for fic meme, can I get "Stories for Children", the early bit where the cousins are all interacting, from "She did feel for him" to "sex, death and betrayal"?

Stories For Children

She did feel for him - most of the soldiers she trained with herself were too embarrassed to cross blades with a man and those few who would refused to take him seriously. She’d gone easy on him herself until he’d dislocated his own shoulder struggling out of an armlock and then, when she’d released him in horror, sunk his teeth into her wrist down to the bone. Man or not, she could respect that blind dedication to inflicting violence.

[In some ways Cierza is a good cousin. Sort of. If you squint a bit. She (much like Gil himself) is sexist as heck but willing to make exceptions]

Still, sometimes it was difficult.

She usually thought of him as a sexless blur of poorly controlled anger but seeing him now, water pooling in the hollow of his collarbone, damp clothes clinging to the contours of his body made her uncomfortable and ashamed. He was athletic and tall for a man but still so slight and delicate compared to her own bulk. It wasn’t honourable to hit boys, her mother had always said, and she found herself regretting the fresh bruise rising on the plane of his cheek.

[He’s your cousin Cierza, don’t make it weird. …Weird was very much the goal here though, please enjoy this casual objectification, I’m taking a leaf from the ‘breasted boobily down the stairs’ school of narration]

He caught her staring and frowned. “What?”

“Just admiring my handiwork,” she said lightly, gesturing at the bruise with a laugh to cover her disquiet. She clapped him on the back and threw the practice swords to a waiting servant, then together they strolled up onto the terrace that overlooked the gardens.

The air smelt damp and earthy there, of rot and growing things, and someone had had the decency to charm the temperature down to something manageable. The gardens weren’t at their best in the heat but there was still much to admire; tiny phosphorescent toadstools in half a hundred colours gave the area an unearthly glow, illuminating gorgeous lacy frills of fungus and tall, elegant mushrooms with stalks as delicate as a boy’s wrist, interspersed with great speckled behemoths as large as any surface tree. Further away, out of sight, was the euphemistically named herb garden where less attractive but more useful fungi were grown for the kitchens, for medicines and potions and for poisons.

[Mushrooms! Okay maybe I do overuse them some]

Tehaneth and little Chanali were already on the terrace, sat at a table piled high with books. Her half-sister ignored them but her cousin looked up at their approach with clear relief. It was a heavy, musty old tome he was reading and she couldn’t blame him for wanting an excuse to be away from it. He had neglected to take his usual care over his appearance and wore a loose, simple robe, his hair pulled back from his face in a single, fraying braid, wisps falling free about his face and dancing in the breeze. She tried idly to imagine Tehaneth armed and armoured, screaming at her from across the training field and smiled at the improbability.

[Although she has far more in common Gil than Tehaneth, Cierza’s more comfortable with the latter; just as Cierza is very good at performative femininity, so he is with masculinity, while both Gil and Chanali fall short]

“You should go and get cleaned up,” he told his brother. “You know how it upsets Father to see you like that.”

“That’s the idea,” Gil said, drawing up a chair and putting his feet up on the table.

Tehaneth tutted. “You’re such a child.”

[The events of It’s Always Hardest On The Children really fucked Gil up (and Tehaneth, in less obvious ways). But even before then, Gil idolised his mother and saw the way she abused his father as if not justified then proof that men are weak and invite such treatment (and Mathis’ terrible parenting certainly contributed to that impression)]

Cierza poured herself a glass of wine from the decanter on the table, disturbing a fly that had been crawling across its rim. Kadja, Tehaneth’s familiar, twitched at the sudden buzzing and scuttled down from her master’s shoulder to stalk it across the tabletop.

[Kadja is my favourite non-character, she does amazing hair (NB I would rather die than have a hairspider however stylish the results]. Tehaneth, unlike Khazri, has proper training and did actual formalised spells to bind Kadja, and so she serves as an extension of his will and not a dangerous animal that follows him around and sometimes eats soap]

Gil glanced between spider and fly, looking ready to swat whichever came into reach. “We can’t all be as mature as you, little brother.”

“What’re the books?” Cierza asked quickly, thrusting a full goblet into Gil’s hand.

“Old ghost stories,” Chanali said. Steam had condensed upon the lenses she wore to aid her reading and she paused to wipe them clear. “Do you remember the Xaloc warehouse?”

[It wouldn’t be too hard to fix her eyes and lord knows her family have the skill and the funds, but with her mother dead and no one else to advocate, it was decided it would be a good learning experience leaving Chanali to either figure out the magic herself or raise the capital to have someone do it for her. She’s working on it!]

Cierza grunted. She’d been trying to forget. Bad choices and the ghosts of murdered slaves had almost gotten them all killed, and Tehaneth was still sulking over the gown that had been ruined when a possessed mercenary tried to tear his throat out with her teeth.

[One of the first stories I wrote in this setting. There’s 10k+ of but I’m not sure I’ll ever finish or post it - it’s a little too D&D influenced and not really where characters are at now. Suffice to say though, Cierza is really underselling just why Tehaneth might be upset, in general, and at her specifically]

“We thought it couldn’t hurt to do some research,” Chanali twittered on. “So we’ll be better prepared if it happens again.”

Tehaneth tucked a tendril of hair back behind his ear. “None of them have been very helpful, alas. They’re heavy on the allegory and light on practical tips.”

Her studious little sister digging for prestige, and her viper of a cousin, digging for a chance at vengeance. They were probably trying to work out how to loose the hungry dead from where they’d bound them and set them free in her chambers. Which was, upon consideration, a very good idea just as long as she did it to them first.

“Boooring,” she drawled, as obnoxiously as possible.

[An asshole but a carefully calculated one. Cierza is kind of the opposite of Khazri in that, rather than being based on a D&D character, I played a D&D character based on her after the fact (the character was slightly nicer though)]

Chanali put on her offended face. “Some of the stories are interesting, they’re just not helpf-”

“I don’t think you heard me. ‘Boooooooooring’.”

Gil sniggered.

Tehaneth smiled blandly at them. “I have one I think you’ll like. It’s about sex, death and betrayal.”

[Tehaneth doesn’t ever say what the betrayal was, because he’s a smug asshole, and I’m not sure I made it clear enough in the story. NB that the priestess has two bags of gold at the end though, and the daughter has inherited everything. That’s how business is done in Zalach’ann]