#but like...........YEAH OKAY he's a genuinely sweet + decent guy that wants so badly to help

[jjk4isen]

ꗃ 𝐎𝐍𝐄 𝐒𝐓𝐄𝐏 𝐅𝐎𝐑𝐖𝐀𝐑𝐃, 𝐓𝐖𝐎 𝐒𝐓𝐄𝐏𝐒 𝐁𝐀𝐂𝐊 .

❝ answer me. did you think of her when you're in bed with me? when you're kissing me and holding me— was she the one on your mind? ❞

summary: it's hard knowing you aren't really the person in toji's heart but loving him was something you still did regardless. as for toji, he thinks he's ready to give you his all.

desc: 2.8k words, f!reader (referred to as ‘mama’), canon compliant i think, takes place after mamaguro's death and before toji’s, age gap (early 20s reader, early 30s toji), baby gumi ahhhhh, sfw, angst to fluff to angst again lol, intended lowercase, think you're tsumiki’s mom but without tsumiki bc the relations would be too complicated and also the second wife erasure in the canon storyline?? yeah it's reserved specifically for this fic, not proof read i fear but pls read it's really interesting i can swear by it lmaoqhdhns

dating a widowed man with a son wasn't easy especially when the said man is still in love with his former wife, or rather, his wife who had died.

love is often beautiful but sometimes it's unfair. it can also be cruel. what other reason would make you still stay despite knowing you'll never measure upto the person who had been here before you?

and you've heard stories about her. she was sweet, so beautiful— not just in her appearance but her entire being was beautiful. there always was an ache in your heart upon just the mention of her name.

so how much more would it have ached for toji?

“mama” the spiky haired boy, barely two years old calls you and you realise the silence in the room. “not mama, i’m nana okay?” sick.

nana. not mama but close enough. it doesn't matter anyway, n and m are just letters and next to each other so how much difference would that make? you're the one that's here after all, are you not?

if there's a lump in your throat and your eyes are burning with unshed tears, you force yourself to ignore.

“okay nana” megumi nuzzles his face into your chest, slowly drifting away to sleep. the boy always liked cuddling with you and it melts your heart immensely.

your hands strand through his dark hair. people always said he's the carbon copy of his dad but you'd like to differ. megumi has his mother's eyes and his hair resembled hers more than it did his dad's.

the thought sends another ache in your chest but you push it away– as you always have.

you recall the last time toji had heard megumi call you “mama”. you had never seen toji that livid. he was never a gentle man to begin with but that night, there was nothing else you've been more scared of.

was he like that to his wife? maybe not.

does that matter though? it's not like toji treats you badly. he's decent and loves you an enough amount. you weren't crazy enough to stay when you're not wanted so that must mean you were something to him right?

you also recall the whispers of pity and condemnation thrown at you for just being with toji. him being a brute is one thing but the difference in age is what people seem to have a problem with. you're so much younger than him and have your whole life ahead of you so why are you entrapping yourself this way?

you disagree though. love doesn't know any age and you definitely aren't naive to be head over heels over a guy just because he's relatively older. no, this was real and genuine.

a faint knock disrupts your train of thoughts. “he sleepin’?” toji nods towards the small boy in your arms and you nod back in return.

taking care not to wake the sleeping kid, you slowly pry his hands away from you and pull over a blanket to cover his small body.

when you make your way towards toji, he wastes no time in pulling you closer “missed you” he mumbles, placing a kiss onto your forehead and suddenly all thoughts plaguing your mind disappears. that's all you could ask for, even if it was just for a moment.

“i missed you more” you whisper back, he only huffs out an amused chuckle.

“got bad news though” a frown finds itself on his lips, decorated by a single scar next to it.

“did you lose all your money again?” toji was a gambling addict, another thing you forced yourself to tolerate just for him.

“sorry, doll. thought i’d win this time” he rubs small circles on your back comfortingly and it makes you a bit uneasy to know that he has his way with you so easily.

“it's alright. i’ll just find another part time job”

“so good to me” toji pulls you into his chest and you let out a sigh— of exhaustion? relief? you couldn't really tell but that's not important, toji had you in his arms.

“i’ll try and think of something too. don't worry your pretty little head too much” he lifts you up with ease. while you're in his arms, you feel the safest.

toji really felt bad this time. he was confident he would win but that stupid horse had to trip and lose its lead, ending up last of all places. he knows luck never favoured him but that's didn't stop him from trying again and again and again.

he also knows how you didn't say anything more than necessary about it but he isn't that much of an idiot either. he sees how your expression falters and your shoulders slump a little more when he comes home with another news of his gambling loss.

this is also why he tries, or rather, tried to quit — one too many times, unbeknownst to you. however, old habits die hard and most of the time (everytime) toji gives into his urge and loses yet again. the cycle keeps happening.

maybe this isn't just about gambling.

with the way you're asleep so soundly next to him after putting his son to sleep and taking care of him too, he is overcomed with yet another feeling to be better for you and megumi alike.

toji isn't a gentle man; everyone knows that, you do too — even more than anybody else but he can't help the familiar pool of warm feelings surging through him the longer he stares at your peaceful state.

he remembers the last time he felt it, with another person. it felt like a lifetime ago.

he also remembers how painful it was when he lost it — the person, the feeling altogether. his hands that were making their way to caress your face stops mid air.

toji knows you deserve so much better. you've been nothing but patient to him, so amazing, so perfect to him. still, he just can't do it yet, just not yet.

he will eventually, he hopes you stay until then.

toji wakes up to an empty bed and his heart sinks a little but the creases and wrinkles on the sheets serve as a reminder that you were really here.

he makes his way towards the kitchen, only finding megumi sitting on a chair next to the dining table.

“hey kid, where's your mama?”

toji freezes. it came out so naturally he didn't realise he said it himself and almost thinks he didn't but megumi's wide eyes prove that he actually did.

“m…mama?” megumi says hesitantly and toji nods this time. “yes, your mama”.

“potty potty!” megumi points to the bathroom and giggles, toji follows suit. the man crouches to his son's eye level and pats his head.

“you love your mama, kid?” toji sees megumi's eyes sparkle as the boy nods enthusiastically “very very much!!”

“yeah? i love your mama too.”

toji smiles to himself, he can't wait to tell that to you.

the next time toji got his pay, he finds himself hesitating. instead of heading towards the race tracks, his feet takes him to a jewellery store.

instead of picking out a slot and testing his luck, he picks out a ring. it's not fancy by any means but he thinks it would be the most beautiful band of metal to exist if it slides into your ring finger.

the tiny ring carries all the heavy feelings he has for you.

──

it was one particular evening when you saw an old man lingering by the front gate. its particular because the warm sunset and the soft cool breeze contrasted the ground breaking truth you find out.

“can i help you?” you ask the old man who looks at you up and down, not making an attempt to hide his distaste of your sight.

“is this where toji zenin lives?” he stares down at you with his scrutinising gaze; it makes you feel small.

“zenin?” you ask, confused. is he referring to toji? but his last name is fushiguro is it not?

“yes toji zenin. i heard he has a son as well. you're not the mother are you?”

is it that obvious? you wonder how the old man figured it out. regardless, you're not about to give him his answers so you stood your ground.

“i’m sorry i don't know what you're talking about.” you turn around, about to head inside when his words make you stop short.

“are you fushiguro?”

that's toji’s last name isn't it? not zenin or whatever he called it. so why is he asking you that? is he implying that you're married to toji?

“no. you have the wrong person.”

“why? did he say not to get involved with anyone from his clan?” the old man draws closer, chucking to himself. you're just there unmoving, trying to comprehend the situation and the words coming from his mouth.

“or did he not tell you that either? did he tell you anything at all?” he stands tall in front of you, tearing away bits of yourself with every word he says.

“when he returns, tell him the clan wants to propose him an offer. you can do that much at least won't you?”

…

and when toji comes home that night with the ring cluched tightly in his fist and inside the pocket of his white pants, the world stills.

he finds you in a state he has never seen you before. you look completely and utterly defeated.

“hey, what's wrong?” his hands come to caress your face so effortlessly, the ring and prior nervousness long forgotten.

“talk to me what's going on?” he looks around and the house seems emptier than usual. your laundry that were usually hanging with his were gone.

your small trinkets you placed around the house to “make it more lively” were nowhere to be found.

and there's a bag in the corner of the room which toji prays and hopes he isn't what he thinks it is.

your hands push away his own that were cupping your face. you're not even looking at him.

“say something damn it!”

you flinch and toji takes a step back. he recalls the last time you trembled in fear — when he got mad megumi called you his mom. he punishes himself for it.

“im sorry. please talk to me.” he isn't touching you now but he wants to. he wants to reach out and pull you close, as he always had done. but now there's an unbearable silence and the small distance between you both felt like lightyears away.

“who's zenin” your voice was meek, barely a whisper but toji's eyes widen. how did you find out about that?

no fuck that, he was supposed to be the one telling you. in his own time.

“i can explain” was all that came out of him. he's nervous, he doesn't know where to start. there's a lot of information to unpack and he's not sure how to do it without hurting you too much.

when he doesn't elaborate, you ask another “who's fushiguro then?” your voice falters a bit and toji curses himself for it.

but he's done running away and keeping things from you. “my… my late wife” he says wryly.

your eyes close and a shaky breath leaves your body, as if he just confirmed your worst suspicions. damn life is so funny isn't it? everything you thought you knew apparently wasn't what it seemed to be after all.

opening them again, your vision blurs and you realise tears were escaping your eyes. fuck you didn't want to cry now of all times but they won't stop.

and the way toji was looking at you, it makes you want to throw up.

“i must've been so stupid to you” you let out a humourless chuckle. “did you pretend im her?”

your gaze was sharp and so were your words. maybe all your bottled up feelings were resurfacing. it doesn't make you feel better about it but that doesn't stop you though.

“answer me. did you think of her when you're in bed with me? when you're kissing me and when you're holding me, was she the one on your mind??” your voice was loud now. you should be afraid of waking up megumi who you cradled to sleep just a few hours ago but no, your thoughts are too clouded right now.

toji sighs. he has no excuse.

“i used to” he actually looks ashamed as if he wasn't the one who did it purely out of his will.

your scoff makes him wince “but not anymore.”

his words fall on deaf ears “you know… i knew you did. but i stayed regardless because i thought there would be a chance that maybe one day, you could open up your heart to me. im not even asking for all of it, just a little… i thought you'd let me in.”

you're blabbering and honestly, so distraught.

“but not a moment was there when it was me isn't it? it was always her in the first place.”

now toji should have said something, anything but he stays there planted in place. and maybe that was your breaking point.

you turn around, grabbing your bag and brushing past him towards the door. instead of holding onto you and stopping you, toji clutches the small box containing the ring — your ring in his pocket, almost crushing it in the process, as he hears the door slam.

you think it's funny how toji did not reach out after what happened. it's poetic even. very fitting of him, till the very end, he did not give two shits about you.

so then, why were you back here?

it's been four long years since the trajectory of your life changed. you still don't know if it was for the better or for the worse.

saying it has been hard would be an understatement. it took you a long time just to get back onto your own feet but you did it regardless. however, you left a part of you here long ago and now, you're here to take it back.

that and you missed megumi dearly. perhaps it was an excuse too because you won't deny a part of you still missed toji, despite everything that happened.

standing a few feet away from the place you used to call home, you hesitate.

maybe this was a bad idea. oh this was definitely a bad idea. you'll see them, and then what? what comes after that?

closure? don't make yourself laugh. you’ll just be reminded of how you couldn't be that person for toji— how you'll always come second. and what if they moved?? there's no reason they'd still be here right?

forget this, you don't need to do this. why must you still be the one who put effort? to reach out? four long years passed and still no news means they clearly moved on... right?

you were convinced enough and was about to go back when you saw little megumi carrying a backpack on his back, seemingly coming home from school.

your feet wouldn't move and your eyes wouldn't blink. he grew up so well.

the world pauses as your gaze follows the kid you used to consider your own, now as good as a stranger.

“do you know that kid?” a voice at your back makes you whip your head around. life really is full of surprises and this time, the surprise was in the form of a tall man, no a tall kid with white hair, looking at you curiously through his round tinted glasses.

“... no i don't” well you weren't exactly lying. you don't know the megumi you see now. perhaps if he asked whether you raised him since he was a baby till he was two, then your answer would've been different.

“oh okay” the boy shrugs. “poor guy though”

“why? whats up with him?” you turn to look at megumi again who was minding his business walking home and your heart aches a little.

“I'm here to recruit him. his dad died you see so he's–”

“wait what was that??”

“his dad. he's dead” the amused boy in front of you chuckles and you stare at him, horrified.

“what happened to him?” your voice was shaky and doesn't sound like your own. he leans down to meet your eye level and smirks “why? i thought you don't know that kid. why does that matter to you?”

your stomach churns as you stare at him, not even knowing what to say— the smug expression on his face only widens.

“so you do know him.”

'know' would be a weak word to use when it comes to toji. you knew of his habits, the simple things he does and also of the more complex ones — like the exact place his scar decorated his lips and how it felt to kiss it.

then again, you don't really know anything about him and maybe you never will.

and maybe that's really, the closure you needed.

[lizardthelizard]

Archie Hopper for Character bingo? :D

BECKY thank you so much!! 😭🥰

(character opinion bingo)

[laurenairay]

Make Me a Fool - T. Barrie

Summary: Sofia is tired of going on dates with the wrong guys - when a meet-cute with Tyson turns into only friendship, will she ever have anything more than that?

Word Count: 7.2k

Warnings: meet-cute, fluff, pining, friends to lovers, some bad language

A/N: this is my first OC in a published fic! (I have another in a WIP). Thank you to @danglesnipecelly​​ and @itsbadgerbadgermushroom​ for their encouragement in trying this 😘 and also tagging @texanstarslove​ and @broadstbroskis​ for just genuinely being sweethearts 💚

~~~

The Dating World hadn’t exactly been an easy ride for Sofia. No matter where she met guys – whether it was through dating apps, blind date recommendations from mutual friends, or even that cute guy she met at the coffee shop – every single one had turned out to be no good. They were all wrong for so many reasons, whether that was a playboy with multiple girls on the go, a guy who was only actually after sex, someone that was so self-centered that she barely got a word in edgeways, or there was simply no spark.

And it wasn’t like she didn’t want these dates to work – Sofia loved love. Her parents had met in high school and had been together happily in love ever since. Sure, she knew that was rare, but to her they were absolute couple goals. All she wanted was to love someone and be loved in return, just like her parents loved each other. Was that really so much to ask for?

Sofia certainly didn’t think so.

Another Friday night alone rolled around, and the only thing Sofia wanted was to get a pint of ice-cream and watch some sappy movies. Maybe while giving herself a pedicure and wearing a facemask. Who didn’t love a pamper night? So with her wavy brown hair piled on top of her head, blue eyes scrubbed free of make-up, and wearing her glasses instead of her usual contact lenses, Sofia headed out for her ice-cream. There were a fair few people in the grocery store when she arrived including one guy by the ice-cream freezer. Huh, a very cute guy. Luckily she was still wearing a bra. No, not the time. She was here for ice-cream, and ice-cream only.

As she walked up to him though, Sofia noticed that he seemed to be desperately looking for something – a specific flavour? – but with no luck. Yep, there was the desperate whimper of frustration. Time to step in; this was her territory.

“You okay there bud?” Sofia asked, frowning.

The guy flinched slightly but turned to face her with a frustrated expression. Oh wow he was beautiful – square jaw, gorgeous brown eyes, big broad shoulders, thick arms…and those curls! Wait, no, focus.

“No, I’m not. I just moved here for work and everything is shit and I just wanted my favourite flavour ice-cream but they don’t have it and I just…ugh!”

The guy trailed off, running a shaky hand through his messy curls. Oh wow, she hadn’t been expecting that. Nevertheless…

“Sorry, you didn’t need to know all that. It’s just been a really bad week,” he grimaced, trying to force a smile.

Poor guy. Well, she could definitely relate to comfort eating after a bad week, that was for sure. So Sofia smiled kindly back, shaking her head. “Please don’t apologise! We all have shitty weeks,”

The guy laughed, but it still sounded a little broken. Time to step up her game.

“Maybe I can suggest an alternative? I’m not ashamed to admit that I’m a regular at this particular freezer,” she said, wearing a hopeful smile.

This seemed to crack a genuine smile. “Sure, be my guest,” he nodded, “I’m Tyson, by the way,”

Well it was a start. “I’m Sofia. Nice to meet you!”

Tyson smiled shyly at her, seeming a little hesitant.

Sofia dramatically rolled her head from side to side, stretched her arms over her head and bounced a few times on the spot as if warming up, earning an outright giggle from Tyson, making her grin at him. Much better.

“Okay, cherry vanilla sweetheart is okay, banana toffee treat is a weirdly interesting combination, I’m a huge fan of the fudgy chocolate brownie, and the caramel swirl is to die for. But my absolute favourite is the peanut butter chocolate heaven. If you like Reese’s chocolate, then you’ll love this one,” she listed, pointing to the different shelves.

What? Sofia took her ice-cream seriously – there was nothing wrong with that.

Tyson looked a little stunned, but that quickly turned into a brilliant smile, making Sofia’s breath catch in her throat. “The peanut butter chocolate one sounds pretty good actually. Exactly what I need,”

“Happy to help,” Sofia shrugged, trying to play it cool as she passed him a carton of it, as well as grabbing one for herself.

“Hey, um….”

Sofia looked up at Tyson as he trailed off, awkwardly rubbing the back of his neck. What?

“This is a kinda weird to ask, and I swear I’m not a creep, but I’m new in town and I really don’t know the best places in town to get ice-cream from so-”

“Would you like my number?” Sofia asked, trying not to giggle at his rambling, “for ice-cream related emergencies?”

Tyson’s smile seemed to dim slightly, but he nodded so Sofia figured that was what he wanted to ask her. That was what he wanted, right?

“Yeah, exactly,” he murmured, “I could really use a friend,”

Sofia hoped her smile hadn’t dimmed as well when she passed her phone to him. Friend. Why did that feel weird?

When he passed her phone back with his saved number in it, Sofia sent him a quick message of ‘Hey, it’s Sofia :)’, earning a smile from him as his phone lit up.

“I’ll see you again soon, ice-cream friend?” he asked, voice full of hope.

She couldn’t help but to giggle, nodding her agreement. “Yeah I’d like that Tyson,” she said, smiling at him.

If he wanted friendship, then she could and would give it to him.

*

The friendship that blossomed between Tyson and Sofia was genuine and sweet. He’d texted her the next morning, just a picture of the empty carton and a thumbs up – and she laughed as she sent back the exact same thing. And from there they were texting pretty much every day, Sofia getting to know exactly how sweet and kind and caring Tyson was. They started hanging out in person too, coffee runs and lunches and late-night dinners, to the point where they had a standing movie night (with ice-cream!) every Friday when Tyson didn’t have a game – and hadn’t that been a surprise, finding out that he played in the NHL. He had admitted that ice-cream wasn’t even remotely in his diet plan at all, but Sofia obviously wasn’t going to tell anyone – and besides, Tyson deserved a cheat treat every now and again, especially with how hard he was working and playing.

Over less than two months, Tyson quickly became one of her best friends. He was just so easy to talk to, and he knew exactly how to make her smile when she was having a bad day – not to mention how amazing his hugs were. And she knew that she was a huge support for him in his new city. She always answered the phone while he was on roadtrips so he could hear a friendly voice, never judging for anything. Sofia knew that she gave him a break from the intensity of his hockey life. She just…liked him, okay? He was such a good person, and really quite her ideal guy – but he only wanted and needed a friend, so that’s what she was determined to be for him. He deserved that much at least.

A few more months passed into their friendship, and it was a week into the New Year where their Fridays lined up perfectly, so Sofia was on her way over to Tyson’s with a couple of bottles of decent white wine. He was supplying the ice-cream this time, but damn it she needed the wine too. Yesterday night she went on her third date with a cute guy she’d been really hopeful about, but, well…

“He said what?” Tyson gasped, his jaw dropping.

“That he wanted to fool around before we went any further, and if I didn’t want to then he couldn’t see a future for us,” Sofia groaned.

“Please tell me you kicked his ass to the curb,” Tyson scowled.

“You’re damn right I did,” Sofia grumbled, taking a big gulp of her wine.

Tyson took a big gulp of wine in solidarity, staring at her with his big brown eyes wide with disbelief. But then Sofia couldn’t help but sigh.

“Why do my dates always end up going so badly? Is there something wrong with me?” Sofia asked, pouting.

Was there? Had she been the problem all along? But Tyson immediately shook his head.

“No, absolutely not,” he said firmly

As much as the conviction in his words made her heart skip a beat, she sighed again.

“Tyson…”

“Nope, I won’t have you talk about yourself like that,” Tyson interrupted, frowning at her, “These guys you try to date are the problem, not you. Ethan…Easton…Evan…whatever his name was, you are worth so much more than that. You’re kind, funny, smart, caring and beautiful, and any guy would be lucky to have you in their life,”

Any guy, huh? Sofia felt tears spring to her blue eyes, so she quickly wiped them away, but not before Tyson saw.

“Hey, c’mere,” he murmured, beckoning her towards him.

Sofia shuffled down the sofa willingly, curling into Tyson’s side and slumping her head against his chest. She immediately relaxed as his arm wound around her waist.

“It’s okay to be a romantic, yeah? It’s not a bad thing that you want to genuinely fall in love. I know I do,” Tyson said softly.

Of course he wanted to fall in love as well. Of course.

“Thanks Tys. I don’t know what I would do without you in my life,” Sofia sighed, squeezing his hand where it rested on her hip.

Tyson just hummed his agreement, pressing a kiss to her wavy hair, making Sofia smile sadly. Of all the guys she couldn’t have, why did Tyson have to be one of them? She couldn’t see Tyson’s sad smile in return though.

“Ice-cream and 10 Things I Hate About You?” Tyson asked.

“Yes please, I need Heath Ledger in my life,” Sofia nodded, sniffing as she sat upright.

Tyson laughed, wiping her cheeks dry of the tears she didn’t know had fallen. “There, still beautiful,”

Why did he have to make things so difficult?

*

Love was a funny thing. It could be fleeting, passing like a ship in the night, or even all-consuming, like a wildfire with no hope until it burned out on its own. The more time that Sofia spent with Tyson, the harder she fell for him, and the harder it was for her to pretend that she was okay just being friends. No matter how many first dates she went on, how many guys she hoped to move on from him with, nothing worked. The very first moment they’d met when she’d gone out of her way to make him laugh as she recommended him ice-cream, she knew she was done for. But how could she tell him how she felt? He’d literally asked for her phone number to be his new friend in a new city, nothing more. And there was no way she was ruining the incredible friendship that they’d built between them, not a chance. There was no way she could feel anything but empty if he was no longer in her life, and she couldn’t risk losing him. She wouldn’t.

But she didn’t know what to do.

What Sofia didn’t know was that Tyson felt exactly the same. The moment he’d met her, he was gone. She was beautiful – that much was obvious as soon as he saw her – sparkling blue eyes, that amazing wavy brown hair he always wanted to run his fingers through, and the warmest most genuine smile he’d ever seen. But it was her heart that dazzled him on that first night – instead of walking away from his crazy mid-breakdown frantic self, she’d offered to help him and made him laugh. She’d gone above and beyond to make him feel better, and he’d never met anyone like her before. Like an idiot though, he’d completely messed up asking her out on a date, and instead she’d given him her number to be his friend in this new city. Only his friend.

Hell, he knew she wasn’t interested in him romantically – she went on enough dates to show him that he didn’t stand a chance. How could he? He knew he was nowhere near good enough for her as a life partner. Even though he’d told Nate (wonderful oblivious emotionally-useless Nate) how hopeless he felt in their weekly phonecalls, Nate kept telling him to take a chance on Sofia, that Sofia would feel the same as him, Tyson knew Nate was wrong. But there was no way he could give up having her in his life, no matter how much it hurt him to be second to those stupid guys she dated. So he did his best to be the absolute best friend she could possibly need, no matter how hard it was.

Tyson only wished she could see him as more.

*

“Oh god, why did I drink so much?” Sofia groaned.

Tyson giggled as she slumped against his front door as he closed it, just about able to kick her heels off her feet. “I told you not to do shots with the Swedes, but you didn’t listen,”

Sofia whined, not wanting to admit that he was right. Even though he was right. Tyson smiled fondly at her, shaking his head as he kicked off his own shoes.

“I just wanted your teammates to like me,” she grumbled.

“They already do, sweetheart. They love you as much as I do,”

Tyson froze at the words that spilled from his lips, his heart skipping a beat at the smile that spread across her lips.

“Sweetheart?” Sofia grinned.

Tyson let out a shaky breath. The deep blush that spread across his face made Sofia laugh, a little giddiness rushing through her body along with the alcohol.

“Let’s get you some water,” Tyson grumbled.

Sofia just laughed again, skipping along behind him to the kitchen. It had been a last minute invite to drinks with his team this Friday night (she’d initially hoped to save the Friday night for a second date with a guy from Hinge that she had been hopeful about, but their first date on Tuesday had been so dry and dull), but Sofia had still had a brilliant time. She knew that Tyson knew that she had been disappointed with her date this week, so it had been really sweet of him to invite her out to cheer her up. And he’d even called her sweetheart! A girl could dream, right? Tyson kept his back to her as he reached for a glass in the cupboard and pulled out a jug of filtered water from the fridge, but Sofia just hopped up on the island counter to watch him, happily swinging her legs.

She’d had a great evening with one of her favourite people and now she was still hanging out with him – what more could she want?

“Here, why don’t you drink this while I get you something comfy to wear?” Tyson murmured, breaking her out of her thoughts as he pressed the cold glass of water into her hand.

“Thanks Tys,” she said, smiling, “you’re the best,”

He smiled shyly at her, still blushing slightly, before he left the room to get her some clothes. Sofia sipped on the water as she waited to Tyson to return, still swinging her legs with a smile on her face. She knew she probably shouldn’t have had so many shots tonight, but it had just been such a fun atmosphere. Sofia definitely wasn’t the only one drinking that much (at least, she wasn’t the guy that had to be carried out to an uber) – and she knew that Tyson was watching out for her, so she knew she was able to relax and just have fun. He made her feel safe, that she could just be herself without worrying, and tonight at the bar she’d had an amazing time.

The hangover tomorrow would be worth it.

“Okay, some comfy shorts and a tshirt for you,” Tyson announced, walking back in the room, dressed in sweatpants and an old tshirt now instead of his nice shirt and jeans.

“Ooh gimme,” Sofia grinned, hopping off the counter.

Tyson smiled fondly at her, taking the glass from her hand in exchange for the clothing. Then she frowned at him, earning a frown back. “What’s wrong?”

“The zipper on this dress always sticks and all the vodka will not help – will you unzip me?” Sofia asked, eyes wide and pleading.

Something inside her was telling her that this was a stupid idea, such a stupid thing to ask, but the remaining alcohol coursing through her veins drowned that out. But when Tyson just stood there in silence, his mouth slightly open and his eyes glazed, she felt a niggle of doubt start to creep in. What was she doing, asking him to unzip her? Stupid.

“Forget it, I’ll just stay in this dress,” Sofia mumbled.

“No!”

Sofia flinched at his shout, making him wince.

“I’ll unzip you, it’s fine,” Tyson insisted, “turn around?”

Sofia nodded, biting her lip as soon as her back was facing him, swallowing heavily as she heard him take a shaky breath. She jumped slightly as his fingers brushed the top of her spine, unable to stop her heart beating faster as he slowly unzipped her dress. What had she been thinking, asking him to unzip her? Now she’d never forget the feeling of him standing so close, the touch of his fingers on the small of her back, no matter that she was still a little tipsy.

“There, all done,” Tyson said, voice a little shaky, “I’ll go put a movie on, yeah?”

Sofia just nodded, watching in silence as he walked away. Damn it. She took a deep breath, letting her dress drop to the floor with her eyes briefly closed, before shaking herself out of it and quickly unhooking her bra, dropping that to the floor too. Once she’d pulled on his clothes over her panties (even his laundry detergent smelled amazing), she dumped her discarded clothes onto the kitchen counter and headed into the living room to join him. He’d turned off all but one floor lamp, leaving the room with a low glow, nice and cosy. Tyson looked up at her with a smile, settling her nerves. Whatever, it had just been a weird moment, that was all.

“Pretty Woman?” he suggested.

“Sounds good to me,” she nodded.

He lifted his arm, making her grin and sit down, snuggling into his side, kicking her legs up next to his on the ottoman.

“Comfy?” he murmured, wrapping an arm around her waist.

“Yeah, press play,” she nodded, settling into his hold.

~

It can’t have been more than 30 minutes before Sofia felt a little heavier in his arms, so Tyson looked down – sure enough, Sofia was fast asleep in his arms. He swallowed heavily as he watched her peaceful face, mind flashing back to the kitchen moment earlier. Unzipping her dress had felt so intimate, especially when his fingers touched the small of her back, and now she was lying in his arms? How was his heart supposed to cope with this? This was everything he wanted…and it wasn’t real. It wasn’t going to last. But…surely it wasn’t a bad thing if he just let her continue sleeping? She looked so sweet, so cosy, and he didn’t want to disturb her. So instead, he just switched the movie off, tossing the remote onto the coffee table before snagging the blanket off the back of the sofa and gently throwing it over the two of them. Their legs were already kicked up on the ottoman after all; he could sleep like this. Luckily she’d already been wearing her glasses tonight rather than her contacts, so at least he didn’t have to worry about waking her up to take them out – he just gently pulled them off her face and tossed them to the other end of the sofa. No point in waking her up. He pressed a soft kiss to the top of her head, relaxing back into the cushions, and closed his eyes.

He could pretend for one night, right?

~

Sofia blinked her eyes open slowly, groaning as she (blurrily) saw that it was 5am from the clock on the wall. They hadn’t even turned off the floor lamp…but the tv was off and there was a blanket over her. Over them. And Tyson had even taken off her glasses for her. Oh wow. She’d fallen asleep on Tyson, and he hadn’t moved her? She lifted her head from Tyson’s chest, looking at his sleeping face with a soft smile. He was so handsome, wasn’t he? Her heart ached a little at the gentle expression on his face, soft and kind even in sleep. Wow. And it was so nice being held in his arms, the two of them having shifted a little to curl around each other in their sleep, her arm over his waist with both of his around her. She could stay like this for a little longer, right? He was so warm, and it just felt so right…

She could pretend for one night, right?

*

The next few weeks following the sofa-sleepover weren’t quite as smooth and easy as Sofia had hoped. It’s not that it was particularly awkward, oh no, and there definitely wasn’t a bad vibe between her and Tyson…it was just different. Something felt different between them – she didn’t know if it was because she knew what it felt like to sleep wrapped up in his arms, or the fact that he had demonstrated (even more so than usual) just how kind and caring he truly was, but it was something. And she knew Tyson was the same, because every now and again he would get a strange expression on his face before he shook it off and carried on as usual with a smile.

She couldn’t put her finger on it, and it was frustrating as hell. It was almost like being in limbo, that weird stage that wasn’t quite friendship anymore, but definitely wasn’t anything more. And Sofia was getting so tired of it. She knew she was going to have to tell him sooner rather than later – things were too off for her not to. Because at this rate, she was just going to make herself devastatingly miserable, and she had more respect for herself than that. She wasn’t a fool, and she wasn’t going to start acting like one now.

It was going to have to be all or nothing. But damn if that wasn’t the scariest thing Sofia had ever felt. And she had put it off every time she’d seen him since that night, unable to speak the words that would change everything. It was just so hard, faced with the potential of losing him for good. She hadn’t even been on any dates at all over the past few weeks, unable to even think of anyone that wasn’t him, which was so outside of her usual self that even her colleagues had noticed.

Speaking of…

Tonight she was out at a bar with some of her friends from work. It wasn’t a big weekend booze-up, just a casual couple of drinks after work mid-week – Sofia was only planning on having a couple of glasses of wine as she was heading out to dinner with Tyson afterwards. All she knew was that he had a phone call scheduled for something to do with his work, so they’d decided to meet at the bar first before heading out for food. Sofia was all glammed up though, contact lenses in and blue eyes surrounded by a subtle smoky-eye, with a cute new little black lace dress hugging her curves. She’d gotten ready in the bathrooms at work with a couple of the other ladies she worked with (they were staying out for drinks after she left) so at least she wasn’t the only one. She felt beautiful, the confidence shining through in her smile, and she knew she’d turned heads as she walked into the bar with her colleagues.

Maybe tonight was the night. Hah. Maybe not.

“And another glass of Sauvignon Blanc for you, Sofia!”

Sofia smiled as her friend passed her the new wine glass, nodding her head in thanks. She needed to stay out of her thoughts, wary of being lost in them, especially as she was seeing Tyson tonight. Clear, focused and confident. That’s what she needed to be. Not pining and mopey. No, that wasn’t good at all.

“Oh, hey, isn’t that your boy?”

Your boy. Hah. If only.

She spun around to where her colleague was indicating, unable to stop the smile that spread over her lips as she saw Tyson. Waving to get his attention, Tyson did a dorky wave back before he walked over.

“Hey, sorry I’m a little late. You look amazing,” he murmured, wrapping his arms around her in a hug.

She blushed slightly as she hugged him back, squeezing his waist even with her wine in her hand, before letting go.

“Thank you, you’re too sweet! And it’s really not a problem. I did just get a new glass of wine though,” she said, lifting it in indication.

Tyson laughed, shrugging. “I’ll get myself a beer too then, and we can head out after?”

“Sounds good to me!” she grinned.

Tyson grinned back, walking over to the bar in question. Sofia turned back to her colleagues, several of whom were grinning widely at her, but she just rolled her eyes, shaking her head and earning a few pouts.

“Don’t you dare say anything,” she warned.

A couple of them held up their hands in surrender, making her laugh, but another frowned over at something over Sofia’s shoulder.

“Maybe you should say something,” her friend said, jutting her chin in the direction of the bar.

Sofia turned around again, to see what the hell her friend was talking about, before she froze, her breath catching in her throat. Tyson was at the bar…talking with a pretty blonde woman. That, that didn’t mean anything, right? It wasn’t like they were…oh, there it was, the woman brushed her hand up against Tyson’s arm, giggling at something Tyson said while he smiled down at her. Of course a beautiful woman was flirting with him, and why wouldn’t he flirt back? It wasn’t like he had anything or anyone tying him down. It wasn’t like she had any claim to him herself. It wasn’t like Sofia had ever told him how she felt.

And now she was paying for it. Was she really too late? After all this time? Feeling her smile slip, Sofia turned her back on Tyson, forcing her smile back on her face for her colleagues, who were all just staring at her in pity.

“Please don’t,” she begged, taking a deep breath, “clearly I lost my chance,”

“He’s already walking back over, that was just flirting!” one of the girls insisted.

But Sofia just shook her head, taking a big gulp of wine. She was going to need it. That woman was beautiful, blonde and buxom just like every hockey WAG stereotype. And she was definitely not – so maybe this wake-up call was what she needed. No matter how much it hurt.

“Hey, sorry I took so long, service was slow,” Tyson said, apologising as he slipped back in next to her.

Lie. But it was okay, it wasn’t like she wasn’t aware.

“No worries. Cheers!” Sofia said, raising her glass.

Tyson frowned slightly at the fakeness of her smile, but lifted his pint glass to clink with hers anyway. Sofia just took another big gulp of wine.

After that, as hard as she tried, she couldn’t break herself out of that edge of sadness. The evening was tinged with it now, like an ice grip over her heart. Seeing him flirting with that woman was the kick up the ass that she needed – there was a reason that she and Tyson were just friends.

But even though she tried to keep up a happy façade, she knew that Tyson saw through it, even when they’d left and were eating in the restaurant he wanted to try. He would pause every now and again, a little confused expression on his face, which only broke Sofia’s heart a little more. He knew her so well, but he still didn’t know this. And now she didn’t even know if it was worth saying anything – she looked nothing like the woman he’d been flirting with, so what was the point?

Soon enough, their dinner was over (not that Sofia could say what she’d eaten or what they’d talked about, only that neither of them drank anything alcoholic), and Tyson was driving them home.

Oh, he was driving them to his apartment. Not what she’d expected, but she would roll with it. Nothing they hadn’t done several dozen times before. She could hold herself together a little longer.

“So, the food there was really nice. I’ll have to recommend it to some of the guys,” Tyson said, smiling as he unlocked the door.

“Definitely!” she nodded, shutting the door behind them, “although I’m pretty sure none of them will be going for dessert like we did,”

Tyson made a shushing noise, pressing her finger dramatically to his lips, making her laugh as they walked into the kitchen, sitting down on the stools at his kitchen island. Her laugh trailed off slightly as her heart clenched again, realising how comfortable and how right this felt between them. Why couldn’t this be easy? Why couldn’t things just be easy for her for once?

“Hey, what’s going on?”

She looked over to Tyson as his soft question brought her out of her thoughts.

“What do you mean?” she asked, forcing a smile onto her lips.

“There,” he frowned, “That. That fake smile, you’ve been doing it all night,”

Ouch.

“Have not,” she muttered.

“Yes, you have! You were fine when I first met you but as soon as I came back with a drink, something had changed. What’s wrong?”

Why did he have to be so perceptive? He was a hockey player for fuck’s sake. Why did he have to notice this now?

“It’s nothing Tys. I’m fine,” she said firmly.

Tyson rolled his eyes, making her purse her lips together. “I can tell when you’re lying, Sof. You’re clearly not fine. What happened? Was it something I said?”

“No, it wasn’t something you said,” she said sharply.

“Then what’s wrong? Because it’s clearly something!” he asked, his voice raising louder in frustration.

Ugh, for fuck’s sake.

“Why can’t you just drop it?” she snapped.

“Why won’t you just tell me?” he shot back.

Sofia groaned, throwing her head back. “Maybe it’s personal and maybe I don’t want to tell you,”

“What did I do to make you not trust me? We tell each other everything and now there’s something you can’t say? Won’t say? What the hell Sof-”

“I like you!”

Oh god.

Oh no.

As Sofia tried to breathe, there was one thing she noticed more than anything. Tyson was frozen, his mouth open in shock – and he hadn’t said a word. Sofia laughed at his silence, a little wet with imminent tears, a lot broken, and shook her head. What was a little more heartbreak, right? It’s not like she could take it back now.

“No, you know what? I’m pretty sure I love you. But that doesn’t matter, right? Because you haven’t said a damn thing a-and I knew this was going to be the reaction you gave me, which is exactly why I haven’t said anything before. So now you know – I have feelings for you, and…and you clearly don’t have feelings for me. I think I’m just going to go,”

She still hesitated though, as she pulled her phone out to order an uber. 2 minutes away. But Tyson opened and closed his mouth, eyes frantic but voice silent. And that was all she needed to know. Uber booked. Goodbye Tyson. Sofia left his apartment with a heavy heart, slamming the door closed behind her, tears prickling at her eyes as she ran to the elevator, but she pressed her lips together in an attempt to control herself. She’d told him how she felt, and he hadn’t returned her feelings. She’d put herself out there, all for nothing. And that’s all there is to it.

She could wait until she was home to cry.

If nothing else, she was lucky enough that by the time she reached the bottom of his apartment building, her uber had arrived, so she hurried in quietly, resting her head against the window. The driver seemed to realise that she wasn’t in the mood to chat and just put on some soft music, making her heart clench even more as her mind replayed the last 10 minutes.

She’d finally told Tyson how she felt.

Tyson hadn’t said anything.

Nothing at all.

And he definitely hadn’t tried to stop her leaving.

What more of an answer did she need?

*

Sofia woke up with a heavy heart, feeling like every part of her body was aching. She felt empty, completely drained, just as she feared she would if...no, when she lost Tyson. There was no going back now. There was nothing else she could do. Her friendship with Tyson was over, and fuck that hurt so much. He was such a big part of her life…what was she supposed to do without him?

She barely managed to shuffle from her bed to her kitchen before she started crying, hands shaky as she made her morning coffee. This was her own fault, she knew that. But that didn’t make it hurt any less. So she just let the tears fall, the pain of her heart breaking flooding through her body. It couldn’t have been more than 20 minutes until she finished her coffee, but it felt like hours, her head throbbing and her eyes stinging, her cheeks tacky with tears. She couldn’t carry on like this. She couldn’t waste her day, her life, like this. What was the point in that?

Sofia hated feeling pathetic, feeling weak, especially over a guy (even if that guy was Tyson), so she took a deep breath, wiping her cheeks dry with her fingers. “No more. Suck it up,” she muttered to herself.

Her breath shook as she left her coffee mug in the sink for later, her hands still shaking a little too, but she stood a little taller, trying to convince herself that everything was going to be okay. Because it had to be okay. It had to. There wasn’t any other option.

But as she went to walk towards the bathroom to take a shower, the door buzzer rang. What the hell?

“Who is it?”

“It’s me,”

Holy shit. Oh god. Tyson?!

“What are you doing here?” she asked shakily, her voice cracking.

“Please will you just buzz me up?”

Oh god. Should she? She couldn’t just leave him outside, right? This couldn’t be happening. What the hell was he doing here, after last night?

“Please Sof? We need to talk,”

Well, fuck.

She bit her lip, before pressing the buzzer, allowing the building’s front door to open. She knew she had less than minute before he would climb all the stairs and knock on her front door, so she quickly ran to her bedroom, scrubbing her face with a make-up wipe and running a brush through her hair. That was better than nothing. She whipped off her ratty old pyjamas and quickly pulled on some clean panties, some sweatpants and a baggy sweater, at least making herself look casual rather than like a slob.

Then she heard three knocks on the door. Damn it.

Sofia quickly shoved her glasses on her face, taking one last glance at herself in the mirror before walking as calmly as she could to open the front door. Sure enough, Tyson was standing there, looking the most nervous she’d ever seen him. Well, at least she wasn’t the only one feeling affected.

“Can I come in?” he asked softly.

She just nodded, letting him walk past her before shutting the door behind him. Sofia bit her bottom lip, wringing her hands together, before she took a deep breath. This was her home. She was in control here.

“So, you didn’t answer my question,” she said simply, “what are you doing here?”

Tyson let out a whoosh of breath, running a hand through his messy curls. He looked…well, he looked exhausted, if nothing else. Like he’d barely slept. Much like her. Wow. What was he…

“I came here to apologise, Sofia,” he finally admitted.

“Apologise? For what?” she asked, forcing a smile.

“Stop. Please stop,” Tyson said, his eyes full of sadness as he stared her down, “you know you don’t have to pretend with me,”

Well, fuck.

“What do you want me to say, Tys? I’m trying to patch together a broken heart here,” she said, her smile now wobbly. Damn it. She wasn’t going to cry again. She wasn’t!

“But I don’t want you to patch up a broken heart!” he blurted.

Sofia’s breath caught in her throat, her mouth going dry. What was he saying?

Tyson swallowed heavily, looking down at the ground before looking back at her, his eyes shiny but steady.

“You make me a fool, Sofia,” Tyson murmured, “every time I think I’ve got my head on straight, you spin me around. I always feel like such an idiot around you, always messing up. Just like last night, when I just froze up like a fucking statue instead of telling you how I feel. The thought of you not being in my life, even just overnight, is too much to bear. I can’t be without you,”

What?

He…what?

Tyson saw her hesitation, but didn’t dare stop talking now that he’d started. And Sofia couldn’t find any words to say at all. So Tyson licked his bottom lip nervously, before taking a deep breath. Here goes nothing.

“I should never have let you walk out of my front door last night. I should never have let you go without telling you that I love you too,”

Sofia whimpered, hand flying up to cover her mouth as tears filled her eyes. He loves her too? He…loves her? Tyson bit his bottom lip, stepping forward to rest his hands on her shoulders, desperate for the contact.

“Please tell me you still love me? Even though I acted like a fool? Even though I hurt you?” he said softly.

She immediately nodded, tears finally trickling down her cheeks. “Of course I still love you. These feelings aren’t just going to disappear overnight,”

Tyson smiled, his eyes a little watery too, but he leant down to press a gentle kiss to her forehead, making Sofia whimper again before slumping into his arms. He slid his hands from her shoulders to wrap his arms fully around her, her hands rising up his back to clutch at his t-shirt.

“I’m sorry. I’m so so sorry,” Tyson whispered.

“It’s okay,” Sofia said, her voice muffled into his chest.

“No, it isn’t. You weren’t okay last night and I pushed you and pushed you, and then acted like a complete asshole,” Tyson muttered.

“You weren’t an asshole! I…I was so sad last night, before we left the bar for dinner. It killed me to see you flirting with her, that beautiful blonde woman while you ordered your drink,”

There. There it was.

But Tyson just huffed a laugh.

“That was nothing. She meant nothing. And now you know how I feel every time you went out on a date with one of those stupid guys,” Tyson mused, “you go out on so many dates!”

Sofia blushed slightly, thunking her head down on Tyson’s collarbone, making him laugh.

“I haven’t been out on any dates at all since we fell asleep on the sofa,” she grumbled.

“Yeah,” Tyson said, his voice much more serious now, “I noticed that. And it gave me hope,”

“Hope?” she asked softly, looking up at him.

“Hope that maybe it wasn’t just me that had feelings,” he explained, smiling.

Sofia smiled shyly back at him, before biting her bottom lip. Tyson noticed her hesitation, and unwrapped his arms from her, leaving one hand linked with hers. Sofia blushed slightly at the contact, as silly and simple as it was, making Tyson smile again.

“C’mon,” he urged, tugging her towards him lightly.

She followed Tyson through her own apartment until they reached the sofa in the living room, the two of them sitting down next to each other. Her heart beat a little faster as he turned to face her properly, but she tucked up her legs to face him too, her knees brushing his thighs. This felt different. This felt so different.

“Hey,” he murmured.

“Hey,” she laughed.

Sofia looked down at where there hands were still joined, Tyson just running his thumb over her knuckles in response. Why were they being so weird about this? No, she needed to know what he wanted. It couldn’t be any worse than last night, that was certain. She could do this.

“So what do you want here, Tys?” she asked softly.

Tyson smiled. She was so much braver than him, twice now. “I want to call you mine, Sofia. And I want you to call me yours,”

Sofia’s breath caught in her throat, but her lips spread into a brilliant smile. Yes. That was…that was everything she wanted. And he was just offering it to her on a silver platter? Really? Well, she wasn’t turning this done, no way in hell.

“I think I could get used to calling you my boyfriend,” she said, not hiding an ounce of her happiness.

Boyfriend. Wow.

Tyson’s smile spread into a grin, the giddiness spreading through his face, making her laugh. “I can’t wait to tell Nate that you’re finally my girlfriend,”

Sofia snorted. Of course Nate would come first before his family. “Is there going to be an I-told-you-so in there?” she mused. She wouldn’t put it past Nate to do so.

“Oh yeah he’s never going to let me live this down,” Tyson nodded, “especially with how I treated you last night,”

Hey, no.

“Water under the bridge, Tys. We’re sorted now, right?” she said firmly.

“Yeah, of course we are,” Tyson grinned, giving her hand a squeeze.

He was finally hers. And she was finally his. Fuck that felt so good.

“There is one thing though,” Tyson said, breaking her out of her thoughts.

“Oh yeah?” she said, frowning.

What?

“Can I kiss you?” he asked shyly.

Her frown melted into a smile, earning a smile back. Instead of answering, Sofia leant her head up, Tyson meeting her in the middle to press their lips together in a gentle kiss. Oh wow. Oh wow oh wow oh wow. She pulled away with her lips tingling, Tyson looking just as dazed as her.

“Kiss me again?” Sofia asked breathlessly.

Tyson grinned.

[popculturebuffet]

House of Mouse: Mickey and the Culture Clash (Commission by WeirdKev27) or “What the Hell, Clarabelle?”

Hello, hello, hello... I wish I could say I was in good spirits but i’m tired, have covid induced chills running down my spine.. and oh yeah there was an armed insurrection i the captial last night that showed just how broken this country was. And while Monster Bash would still be relevant... I couldn’t do it. I admit to being unable to do an episode where the millitant racist nutjob who harms people runs off into the night, and does much worse in later episodes, while the people she harassed are arrested the night after a bunch of millitant, racist, sociopathic, selfish nightmares sieged the captial, killed a woman, raised the fucking maga flag over the buildling and took pictures like they were goddamn heroes.  We got a stark reminder, not a wake up call, not an opening a REMINDER of just how badly broken our country is last night, and it wasn’t till this morning I found out just how BAD it was. The deaths, the flag, the fact josh fucking hawley, MY STAT’ES SENATOR and registered piece of shit, raised  A FUCKING FIST IN SOLIDARITY, which gives me the crippling fear his stupidity and unabashed racisim and support of a cou could mean riots at best and attempted uprisings at worst and who knows what kind of hate crimes against those of color and those in my own queer community. I am afraid, tired, and I am pissed and I feel we could ALL use something wholesome, warm and far removed from the shit going on. And in my hour of need to figure out something like that to put on the schedule.. Kev brought up a wonderfufl idea.  Every month this month till the end of it Kev is going to comission one episode of a show near and dear to both our hearts that has it’s 20th birthday this month. House of Mouse. He was intitally going to request Pete’s One Man Show, which is one of my faviorites, but was ironcially one I already planned to cover next month to celebrate both the show’s anniversary and Pete’s Birthday. But since he was happy to wait till then to comission it, he instead asked for another classic and one with easily my faviorite character on the show: Moritmer Mouse. 

One of the best things House of Mouse did was bring back Mortimer Mouse. Introduced in Mickey’s Rival, Mortimer was an ex of minnies who showed up for one short to be a dick to mickey before running off and leaving Minnie at the mercy of a bull he pissed off. He also weirdly kept electrodes and a car battery in his pants. The short itself is.. not great mostly because Minnie dimissies Mickey rightfully being pissed someone is hitting on his girlfriend in front of him, making jokes at his expense, and generally being a pillock as being jealous... which yeah, yeah he is. Most of the time jealousy and supscison of your partner is ugly, gross and damaging to a relationship.  You should trust them unless you’ve been given good reason not to, and if your paranoidly jealous about every friend she has she could be attracted to.. get some fucking help. Seriously, I need to, not for this for various other problems, but get some therapy to help with your trust issues or if your just being the kind of dick who naturally assumes men and women or men and men or women and women or men and nonibinary persons, or women and nonbinary peeps and so on and so on cannot be friends if they could possibly be togehter romantically... grow up.  I say all of that because those are serious underlying issues and I didn’t want it to seem like for a moment I was supporting them... and because sometimes i’ts OKAY to be jealous, to either just feel a little jealous of someone, or to you know be irate because your girlfriend’s ex is hitting on her in front of you and she’s being entirely receptive to it. 

So yeah i’ts really hard to feel bad for minnie’s bull attack or find the ending sweet after Minnie was you know, what ramona said for an entire short. However my point for this rant, besides giving out about the short again because I clearly didn’t enough in my Mickey Birthday Special, is that Mortimer is still pretty great. He’s a frat bro in the 40′s sense sure, but the idea of a local douche hoping to swoop in and woo minnie away, who has an oddly specific sense of humor and a bizzare, memorable and wonderful walk, seriously the short is worth watching for mortimier’s “I got two car batteris in my pants’ walk, is a good one. While he’d naturally show up in comics and what have you Mortimer just sort of vanished. But clearly someone on the House of Mouse staff, and Mousewerks before it, agreed because Morty was made easily one of the best and most recurring characters in the HOM, and often more prominent than Horace or Gus. While he still tried his old “I’m gonna do your common law wife act” a few times he was mostly there to be an annoying douche when the ep needed one and to be taken down a peg by everyone in the house. And that VERY MUCH includes Mickey. That’s also part of why I love this show bringing him back: It gives Mickey someone besides pete to give out too on a regular basis. He’s still his charming self about it but it’s lovelyt os ee Mickey sarcastically roast someone. And I honestly attribute the main factor of his sucess on the show to VA Maurice LaMarche. While his original VA, Sonny Dawson, was fantastic.. it’s Maurice who very clearly made the character his. While others like Jeff Bennet have taken over since i’ts Maurice who gave him his signature “ha-cha-cha” catchphrase, swagger and signiture voice. And no i’ts not lost on me that one of Maurice’s OTHER best roles is another cartoon mouse.. and I now very badly want him to meet Pinky and the Brain. But yeah, Maurice just oozes the smarm that defines mortimer for me, oozes condescinon and assholery and he, is., glorious. He was a faviorite as a kid, he’s a faviorite now, and Disney needs to use him more.. and also have Maurice voice him for wonderufl world of mickey mouse, though Jeff Bennett is not bad at all I just prefer the master at the role. 

So obviously, after the nightmare of an evening america had yesterday, an episode not only about how wholesome mickey and minnie are but about Mickey teaming up with Mortimer was EXACTLY what i needed. So pitter patter, this is Mickey and the Culture clash. As always for house of mouse i’ll be chonking it up and since this one starts right with the wraparound, and sicnce you know I spent a godo few pagraphs going over mortimer and he’s only IN the wraparound this episode... let’s start there

Mickey and the Culture Clash: Don’t Go Changin, To Try and Please Me So we open the episode and the review proper with Mickey performing a banjo sernade for Minnie, their song in fact. It’s a really sweet scene.. that’s quickly ruined by Clarabelle being an asshole, who says i’ts a bit crude. Minnie counters that while “It’s not mozart”, it’s nice and she clearly likes it and the gesture. Instead of you know leaving it there like a good friend, like she’s SUPPOSED to be to Minnie in most continuities, Clarabelle.. takes the things she said and her having to run out to wrangle pluto out of context, painting it as her thinking he’s not sophisticated and then running out because of it. Oh and she tops it by pointing to a classified add from a MM looking for sophisticated companionship. 

It just paints Clarabelle not as Minnie’s friend or a chatty gossip, but as a heartless bitch who has no trouble implying one of her best friends would cheat on her boyfriend TO HIS FACE, and is fine wrecking a perfectly lovely relationship just to have more to talk about. Seriously she starts gossiping to everybody on top of it just in case you thought Clarabelle was a decent person in any shape this episode. She’s the one thing about this episode that dosen’t work despite being integral to it.. well two but hte other thing is a small, end of episode gag we’ll get to. This.. this is an integral part of the plot. It also relies on Daisy and Donald being absent for the episode for what I can only assume is their annual sex decathalon because otherwise the second she heard about her friend doing this, before reassuring Minnie, Donald would be holdiing her while Daisy beat the absolute shit out of her for hurting thier closest friend and not bothering to take a look into anything when leveling such a rough accusation at Minnie. In a really stellar, really well paced episode, Clarabelle being so heartless stands out. It’s also, might as well get this out of the way, teh final episode not inlcuding the two holiday specials.. and it’s a good note to go out on otherwise, I just can’t ignore the obnoxious cow in the room.. in both senses of the word. 

So yeah Mickey’s trying to be fancy, and Mortimer gets a good dig in about him reading “You having trouble sounding out the words”, but once he hears what’s going on, or rather once he realizes mickey things Mortimer’s personal add is in fact his girlfriend cheating on him, he decides to help Mickey. And to his credit for this con.. Mortimer actually thought things out on how to trick his rival, and his plan here is douchey as hell but incredibly genius: he offers to help mickey and while that’d normally be suspcious he offers a genuine, and very mortimer explination for helping him become a bit more sophisticated to win minnie back: if Minnie finds a handsome, sophisticated guy to date, what chance does MORTIMER have against that? At least with Mickey, in his deluded egocentric view of things anyway, he has a shot at beating him. 

So Mickey classes it up a bit, taking some sopshitcated stances when announcing and trying to woo minnie by talking in ye olde english. When that fails, she just finds it silly but charming, Mickey finds Jose.. hitting on her.

Just.. I expect better from you man. Woo ladies all you like as long as your respectful but I expect better than to hit on someone else’s girlfriend.. which granted he has but given the last time we saw him do that, he nearly got stabbed a bunch and the last time he agressively hit on a woman he got punched in the beak as he should, you’d THINK he’d of learned something. Seriously once again Donald is only missing because this time Daisy would be holding Jose down while Donald hit him. Or possibly they’d take turns. Point is Jose REALLY shoudln’t be doing this and knows better.. marginally. But.. it is in character enough so ti’s not as bad as Clarabelle the homewrecker. 

So Mickey tries being fancy and goes on to do poetry instead of letting O’Malley and the Alley Cats play.. which is a nice running gag the series does as they NEVER get to play.. which while funny is a shame since I love the Aristocats. So then we finally get what Mortimer’s been playing at, he swoops in, claims MICKEY dosen’t need HER, and uses the same personal add to trick her. See, while what Mortimer’s doing is vile.. unlike clarabelle I can repsect it at least. I don’t condone it and i’m glad he gets foiled.. but as a bad guy plan it’s pretty clever and for someone like Mortimer whose usually pretty incompitent.. it’s pretty suprising he could pull this off. It’s still pretty damn low and scummy, no question, but props to being able to outwit and nearly outplay two people who deal with your crap on a regular basis and still convincingly conning both.  Thankfully while he tries to take Minnie out Mickey, in a great visual gag, puts two and two together, and busts out their song, with Mickey and Minnie heartwearmingly reuniting on stage as seen above. Then we get that gag I mentioned not liking: Mickey gets Morty back by planting a false marriage proposal from Moritmer to Clarabelle, again under MM and he gets carried off.. HAHA HE’S BEING FORCED INTO A MARRIAGE HE DOSEN’T. LAUGH. LAUGH AT IT. The gag just really hasn’t aged well, as otherwise it’s clever Mickey used Mortimer’s own trick against both him and the person who caused all of this but really.. Clarabelle gets no real compuance. At worse sshe finds out she was tricked.. but she again you know tried to break up her close friends relationship for shits and giggles. But .. it’s at the very end of the episode and very easy to ignore, so it dosen’t really bother me too bad, and compared to some gags of the type i’ve seen, it could be MUCH worse.  Overall this wraparound is one of the series best and a good one to go out on. it has a simple premise, a brilliant antagonist plot, some great bits from all involved, and even a great Belle and Beast cameo. All in all a really good wraparound only hampered by a sexist and dated ending and Clarabelle being portrayed as ...

She’s the worst, in the world. Okay onto the shorts.

Mickey’s Piano Lesson: That was a Fun One

It really was. It’s a simple premise: Minnie wants MIckey to do a piano recital and he decides “I don’t need practice i’m mickey mouse. “ And it’s REALLY nice to have a short that has, rather than aw shucks mickey, shenanigans mickey. While thanks to the new shorts we’ve had tons, it’s still nice to get one in the House of Mouse era, and it’s just fun to see Mickey take the usual donald roll of letting his overconfidence punch him in the face> It fits both though: Both are everyman and while I lean towards the duck, to no one’s shock, Mickey is just as capable, and his lack of practice comes off less like the angry and hostile way donald would dismiss it and mroe just loveable procastination. And as someone who REALLY struggles with procastination I related to this short, as Mickey does everything else he’d rather do from bathing the dog to skydiving till Minnie, in a great bit informs him everyone from the president, to several dignitaries from other countries, to a televised audience will see. We then get two really great and really beatuifully animated bits as MIckey wrestles with the notes on thep age then fights with his piano as he performs, still pulling it off but destroying the thing and rightfully earning a glare form his girlfriend. Just a fun, slapstick short with a great premise. 

Dance of the Goofys: Scary Children Set to classical music, this one has a bunch of goofys as Fairy’s, who are making the flowers go and the one who sleeps in ends up saving the king from a horrifing looking little brat. He reminds me of Montanna Max a bit.. speaking of which Creer Summer recnetly announced Elmyra won’t be in the reboot. And while this does make me fear actually good characters like Fifi, Montana Max, and more will be cut like the animanics reboot and I do feel for Cree not getting to be involved and hope they find another roll for her as, given her status in the industry she deserves better.. THANK FUCKING GOD. I’ll go into this in another review I have planned for the future but unlike the cuts made to animaniacs this was a REALLY good decision i’m really greatful for. Thank you crew thank you. 

Back on topic, it’s just a fun, really beautifully animated short about the goofies and hteir shenanigans with a really great high concept. 

Maestro Minnie: Brahm’s Lullabye: Simply Irresitable Another simple but clever and lovely to watch one, and one I like quite a bit more. Minnie is conducting some living violins to Brahm’s Lullabye to get a baby Violin to sleep, and we get some really beautiful shots of her as she does so.. only to get comically interuppted by other insteruments turning up the noise. Not much to say on this one as it’s short and simple.. but sometimes short and simple is just what you need and the fun premise nad really beautiful especially for tv animation at the time visuals really sell this one.  ONce again, good stuff. 

Overall: This was a REALLY good note to go out on. While as I said the Clarabelle stuff can eat my entire ass, everything else is really damn good and I highly recommend checking this one out. Next time, in about a month, we’ll be looking at Pete’s spotlight episode for his birfday. While you wait tommorow we have my first look at legend of the three cabs. But for now, goodbye, goodbye, goodbye. 

[kingsuckjin]

Teach Me (pt.3 of 3)

Pairing: Teacher!Jin x reader

Warnings: angst, mention of oral.

Synopsis: Your reputation was no secret in school even before you hit eighteen and nineteen. You were trouble and everyone knew it, you weren't about to ease up with the final few months left either, you were going to go full force. You wanted one good last big stunt to pull before the end of the year, your last year. Only one thing could top the things you've done, you were going to have sex with the hottest teacher in your school.

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Sex with Jin was all you could think about, and you felt both satisfied and guilty. Of course you wanted to do it again though, it had been the best sex of your life so far.

You didn't know what to tell Jimin the next morning when he began asking questions about all of the purple marks that littered your neck.

"Oh my god, did he really do that? What if you did it to yourself?" Jimin joked, poking at the love bites on your neck as you both sat in his car in the parking lot before school started.

You self consciously clapped your hand over the marks. They looked ridiculous, but reminded you of all the fun you had last night.

"How could I do this to myself, Jimin?" You scoffed at him as he giggled.

"Tell me about it then? What happened?"

"What do you think happened?" Your voice was dry but he continued to beam at you.

"Is there a reason you don't want to talk about it? You always tell me about your hookups... Was he just bad? Did he try to teach you world history while you guys were-"

"No." You cut him off "none of those things."

"Okay, so did he make you call him Mr.Kim or sir or something?"

"Jiminnnn." You groaned and he laughed again at teasing you. "That's it, I'm out." You put your hand on the door handle.

"You think I could have a turn with him next?"

With Jimin's last joking comment, you stifled laughter as you got out of the car.

You knew he found it strange that you refused to talk about it with him, you usually told your best friend everything.

Jin paid you no mind during class, acting as if nothing had changed between you two.

You could've cut it off, you could've just left it as a one time thing like it was supposed to be, but he was stuck in your head. Now that you knew what he looked like naked, all you could do was imagine countless sexy scenarios with him while remembering the feeling of him being inside of you and filling you up as he let out those high, desperate moans. Yeah, the closeness after made you a little freaked out, but maybe you could tolerate it, or even get used to it if it meant you could keep re-living the experience you had last night, you craved him and his touch so badly.

At lunch, it didn't take long to decide to head to his room. You didn't even knock on the closed door, but just walked in to find him looking over papers.

"Hey loser." You said quietly as you closed the door behind you. A genuine smile appeared on his face and you couldn't help but smile too.

You pulled up a chair next to him and he picked up two containers of pasta one of which he pushed your way.

"I made it this morning, I didn’t know if you'd come… but I made two anyway."

The food was actually really good, turns out he was actually a decent cook after all.

"So, are you busy this weekend?" He asked as you both ate, you shook your head.

"Let's do something."

You agreed.

Saturday he took you to a fair three towns over so he could be seen with you. His jokes were stupid, his laugh was stupid, him winning you a stuffed bear was stupid but what he wore made you salivate over him. You thought he looked good dressed as a teacher, until you saw him dressed casually in black ripped jeans, a bright pink hoodie and a black hat. He kept the hood pulled up over the hat just in case anyone from your town was there.

After, you demanded he take you back to his house- where you had him practically yelling his moans in response to the blowjob you gave him. Later, he went down on you until there were tears in your eyes from the amount of times you gagged around him.

Over the next two months, it was hard to keep your hands off of each other whenever the two of you were alone which included when you ate lunch with him. You would either wind up making out with him on his lap, or his favorite activity, his head between your thighs while perched on his desk.

Although he didn't ask you to stay anymore nights at his house, you often stayed up late with him just talking about anything and everything, the crazy things he'd seen as a teacher and childhood memories like the times his grandparents took him to the zoo.

"Tell me about your parents." He asked and turned on his side to face you with nothing but his sheets to cover him.

"Well, they never really cared much, they're pretty busy with their jobs... have been since I can remember. I really don't even know if they love me. If I were to leave after school I bet they wouldn't even care. I feel like they were the first ones to give up on me, you know, before all my teachers did." You surprise yourself at how open with him you were about this, but it felt nice and you knew he wasn't judging you.

"Where do you want to go when you leave?"

"Probably just far enough for a fresh start but close enough to visit my best friend."

You watched him pout playfully at you in the dark and you knew it was because you didn't mention him.

"You quit your job and we can run away to Hawaii or something." You joked making him smile.

"And what? We’ll just be homeless? I don't think so, my dear." He leaned in and planted a quick kiss to your lips.

At some point coming over to his place became about more than just sleeping together. He was teaching you how to cook, watching movies with you. Of course you still had a lot of sex, maybe too much.

You met his quiet, almost vampiric looking roommate, Yoongi, one day after Jin had brought you over to his house after school and the place was slightly more of a mess than usual.

There was a random pair of underwear just casually laying on the sofa. You looked from the offending item to Jin who looked more horrified than anything at the sight.

"Min Yoongi!" Jin shouted through the apartment. The door to the second bedroom you had never seen into creaked open to reveal a pale, short man. He stepped out of the dark room looking tired dressed in pajamas even though the sun hadn't even gone down yet.

"What are you doing?! What are those?!" Jin pointed to the underwear.

Yoongi shuffled over to the sofa and snatched up the silk boxers with teddy bears on them.

"Well I was sleeping and those are my underwear." Yoongi stayed monotone.

"What are they doing in here?" Jin questioned but Yoongi was already walking back to his room with a shrug and underwear in hand.

"Nice meeting you, Jin's girlfriend." You didn't have time to reply before he shut his bedroom door back behind him leaving you and Jin both standing there dumbfounded.

"He seems nice" You shrugged.

You graduated, and you were certain he had done something behind the scenes, because you went from failing every class to passing. He wouldn't admit to it of course, but you didn't do anything to improve your academic record that last two months, not even your homework, the only thing that had changed was sleeping with your teacher .

Jimin finally figured out what was going on when you begged him not to tell anyone that you were sleeping with Jin

"Why can't I tell anyone? Do you loooooove him?" Jimin teased as you both casually sat on his sofa watching a movie, but your face was buried in your phone texting Jin.

Your reply was an overly dramatic gagging sound.

"Seriously though, it's weird to see you dating someone for once."

You finally looked away from your phone and over at you best friend with a look of murder on your face.

"Jimin, I don't date and I definitely don't fall in love, you should know that."

"Yeah but maybe-"

"Nope." You cut him off quick.

"Then if you don't care about him why can't I tell anyone? That was the initial plan, right? To spread it around next here so he would have a reputation of sleeping with stu-"

"He's hot and I owe him now. He miraculously helped me graduate." You pressed knowing that Jin wasn't a relationship, he was fun.

You liked Jin, of course. He was sweet and kind. Though your dark sarcasm and his dumb jokes clashed, his sense of humor began to grow on you. You found yourself appreciating little details about him, like his unique scent that stuck with you long after leaving his house.

He even managed to convince you to go to a stupid video game convention with him that you typically wouldn't be caught dead discussing infront of your classmates.

He dragged you into the convention center by the hand dressed in a very cheap Mario costume, mustache and all. You stopped at the doors.

"Jin, this is crazy I'm not going in dressed like this." You protested and he gave you a pout as you pointed to the Princess Peach costume complete with blonde wig he had talked you into wearing with the same sweet expression he now wore.

"But we match and tons of people are wearing costumes” He sweetly protested.

You looked around at all the people dressed up as characters you had never seen before.

"Well I think you're the prettiest cosplayer here and if anyone wants to make fun of handsome Mario and Pretty Princess Peach, then they're the real losers." He said and squeezed your hand "Don't worry, I've got you. Don't be afraid." His words and smile were just what you needed to let him lead you inside.

He kept hold of your hand the whole time so you, quote "didn't get lost"

He dragged you all over the place and by the end, your legs ached but he massaged them once back at his apartment, before he demonstrated just how much he appreciated you spending the day with him.

Everything progressed so naturally, you didn’t even notice that there had been a shift at some point. You were oblivious to the fact that the nature of your relationship was slowly changing over time.

"Let's do something." He announced with your head on his bare chest. His naked body was warm against yours, almost comforting.

"What? If you suggest we go to some video game convention again, you loser, I swear…"

"No." He laughed. "But I'm glad you came with me even though you hated it. I just want to do something different."

"And what would that be?" Your curiosity peaked hoping it was something sexy.

"Hmm I think I'll surprise you."

"If that's what you want to do." You smiled knowing he loved doing dumb things like that.

Your intrigue only peaked when the next night he pulled up at a hotel after not texting you for hours until he was on his way to get you.

"Is this where some anime or video convention is being held? Jin, I said-"

He cut off your nagging with a smile as he spoke.

"No, ding dong, it's not anything for me."

"Good because I'm wearing your favorite bra and panties under this and I really wanted to put them to good use."

"Wait." He seemed kind of shocked but laughed. "You did that? You did something for me without doing anything in return? Oh... Nevermind, it’s sex related, I think that’s the only time you really try to surprise me."

"No it's not." You replied but tried to think of a single time you went out of your way for him (besides in bed) but couldn't. "Shut up." You scoffed jokingly as you realized what he accused you of was true.

"Well at least now you know, right? Come on, let's go." He brushed off the matter and got out of the car. You thought about arguing that you just weren't a sappy person and you really didn't see the point in all of the things he did for you anyway, but you felt like you two argued enough about who contributed more anyway.

He reached for your hand in the elevator, completely bypassing the front desk and pushing the third floor button.

Once in front of a room door he made you close your eyes and yanked the hood of your hoodie over your eyes for good measure. A moment passed before he was pulling at your arm and nagging you to keep your eyes closed until he said so. You rolled your eyes behind closed lids as you agreed.

"Okay… ready!"

You opened your eyes and pulled your hood down at his command.

Before you he stood holding a rose out to you with a grin plastered on his face. Candles were lit, casting a dim glow all over the room. The bed in the room was scattered with petals, and the rest of the bouquet sat on a table not far from it. You took a moment to take it all in before looking back at him with the rose still held out to you.

"So we're fucking in somewhere other than your apartment tonight? That was the surprise? I mean I guess a hotel is adventurous…?"

"No, I mean yes, but no." He dropped the hand with the rose in it to his side.

"What? What's this about then? It's cute I guess."

He took you silently by the arm and led you to the edge of the rose covered bed where he sat down and had you sit with him.

"If you really want to know what this is about then I guess I'll tell you, I didn't really plan on it until later but I suppose now is as good of a time as any. I've never really explained, and you've never really asked why exactly I initiated this and I just… I wanted to talk about it all, everything, just lay it all out. I liked you from the moment I noticed you looking at me like I was the only person in the room."

You stayed silent and just listened as he went on, seeming nervous as he played with the stem of the rose in his lap.

"You were so pretty, and you had this record that was almost exactly like mine … you reminded me of the old me, which I think only made me like you more. So when you came to me saying you wanted to be different, saying you wanted to change, I wanted to help... But at the same time I genuinely liked you so much. I felt like we had similar personalities. It felt wrong to let a student pursue me. lf from falling for you no matter how hard I tried.”

He paused to gauge your reaction. When you responded by silently staring back at him he continued, determined to get everything off his chest.

“At first, in the classroom and at my apartment, I followed your lead because I wanted to, and to be honest, I really thought better grades is all you were interested in. But then you came back to me, and seemed like you wanted to spend time with me even when I wasn't your teacher anymore.”

He smiled softly to himself while fidgeting with the petals of the flower in his grasp, and sighed as he said “It feels better now that the semester is over. I feel like a lot of pressure is off me and you're not my student so I can finally tell you all of this. You know I like you and I know you like me too, but it goes deeper than that now. You're beautiful, and I like your jokes, and your laugh and the way you look at me, I like the way you smell and how your little fingers fit with mine when we hold hands. I know we argue a lot sometimes but I still care about you very much even after we do. You're just… you're an adventure, you as a whole, you make my life more fun. And I set all of this up just to… to tell you I love you, that I'm in love with you. I just felt like if I was going to say it then I should make it special."

His eyes looked up from the flower in his lap to meet yours.

"I-I…" your mouth floundered open and closed as your brain shut completely down.

"You don't-you don't have to say it back right now, I know it's something that you should be sure of and- and I know it was really abrupt and it takes time to process-"

"Jin, please..." You swallowed after a pleading whisper left your lips. You were now filled to the brim with guilt, why had you carried this on this long?

"Please what?"

"Don't. Don't do this." You just wanted him to take all of this back.

"What do you mean? It's been two months, how long do you want me to wait?"

"Jin…"

"Is it all of this that's scaring you? Is it too much?" His eyes looked around at the flowers and candles. He looked scared.

"Jin. I-I wish you didn't do this… at all, any of it." You struggled to find the right words to keep from hurting him. His brows furrowed as his eyes looked glazed over. Seeing him hurt actually hurt you, you did care about him.

"I just… I thought maybe you would feel the same, it’s been two months of us just spending time together, but… I'm-I'm so stupid." He blinked sending tears rolling down his face. "Why was I so blind? That's why you never stayed over, that's why you never went out of your way for me, never asked about my family or growing up or why I became a teacher, you never cared. You never cared about me." He sniffled and wiped at his eyes and your heart sank lower.

"I care about you, I do now, I have, but I… I'm just not in lo- I've never been in a relationship and didn't even know you thought this was one. Jin, I'm nineteen, I'm so confused, I didn't know it would end up like this if I kept it going. I really don't even know if I can even lo-" you felt tears prick your eyes and you felt anger swell within you. You hated that he was making you feel like this, you hated that he had that power over you. You felt the need to just run from this whole situation.

"I know, I know you had a problem with the closeness, I figured you did, but you've made so much progress. I had a feeling I'm the only one that's properly loved you and I hoped that I had helped show you how good it could be how-"

"Then if you knew how I was then you shouldn't be so surprised or hurt." You snapped under the guilt and pressure.

"I thought you were passed that. I thought that maybe we could both just be together, I thought that now the both of us had someone to reminisce about the trouble we use to get into. You wanted to go somewhere far away together so I thought we could do that, somewhere where no one knows that you were once my student...I thought I helped change you. But you're still that heartless little girl who attempted to burn down the school with people inside." His jaw clenched with tears in his eyes as his words burned you and only added to your feelings of anger and frustration.

"I lied about changing, Jin! I just wanted to seem like a better person to my teacher I was set on fucking! And since when are you the moral compass you claimed to be?! You fucked your student and manipulated their grades, Seokjin! Don't fucking make me feel like shit because I'm nineteen and I don't love you. You're nearly thirty, you creep!" You shouted words that you didn't mean at all, but they flew out of your mouth with rage anyway.

He closed his eyes a moment before burying his head in his hands and sobbing.

Your throat felt constricted and your eyes still burned as you watched him quietly cry.

The drive for you to just get away from this before you were a bawling mess was overwhelming now.

You stood.

"I'm so sorry, I know it doesn't matter but I'm sorry." You turned and walked toward the door without looking back. In the elevator your fingers shakily text Jimin to come pick you up as you hid outside by the dumpster. Tears fell down your face now, but you were still holding back.

It was only five minutes before Jimin pulled up but it felt like an eternity. You let the sobs loose once in his car. He had never seen you cry.

He tried to comfort you with a hand on your back but it just made you feel worse.

"There's something fucking wrong with me Jimin. What the fuck is wrong with me?" You blubbered.

He said nothing.

"I just need to go far away, I don't want to be here."

Jimin had already pulled over and was now just listening to you blubber.

"No. I don't know what happened between you and him but there's nothing wrong with you. You both weren't right for each other and I could've told you that before the both of you started dating." Jimin's sweet voice calmed you a little as you listened to him.

"I feel so bad. All of that… a whole two months, and I couldn't love him."

In your mind you could see his pretty face, him laughing, pouting playfully at you, that spark and joy in his eyes when he looked at you.

"You're nineteen, you don't really know how to love yet, he's twenty six and a loser anyway."

"He's not. He's not a loser." You sniffed and wiped at your face "he's such a good guy and I'm pretty much soulless."

"I promise you" Jimin looked you in the eye "You're not. Maybe if he was younger then he would understand."

"Or if I was older… he was like me when he was young, that's what he told me." You stared out the window at the cars that passed.

"Then maybe it was both of you, not just you, don't blame yourself. It sounds like it was just… if he was our age then maybe it would've worked out, both of you would've grown as a people together, but the timeliness just didn't match up. He was older and wanting more and you're younger with things to learn."

What Jimin was saying made perfect sense to you, he was born too soon or you were born too late.

"I wish I could've given him what he wanted, I wish I knew how to love someone but I just…" you held back more sobs "I want to get out of here. School's over and I said I would."

"I know…" Jimin's voice was heavy and sad "I'm surprised you haven't left already, school's been over for weeks… but I know you were staying for him."

You nodded confirming Jimin's suspicions.

"I cared about him but I just hope he doesn't hate me forever, even if we never talk again. And… I hope you don't hate me for taking off." You wiped at your wet eyes once more.

"No, I knew this was what you were wanting to do for a year now. We'll visit each other like we talked about. I don't hate you and I'm sure once Mr. Kim is over the heartbreak he'll think about it and understand that you both were at different places in your lives."

You hoped Jimin was right.

Jin never sent you another text nor did he call you.

You said goodbye to your best friend and you left that week.

Jin did change you, he taught you to be more careful and kind and that you could let someone get close to you for more than just sex.

You tried to love, to date. Sometimes it worked for a while and sometimes it didn't last more than two weeks, but you tried and worked on yourself little by little.

As the years passed, you grew to realize that you did return Jin’s feelings on the day he confessed his love, the last day you had ever seen him. You were just too young and inexperienced to know. The depth of your feelings for each other had scared you. You had treated him badly, not just by leaving him there crying, but the whole two months, it took you a lot of learning and thinking to fully understand how you hurt him.

But now, what was done was done and although it was heart-breaking to leave him that day, you wouldn't have changed anything about it. That moment was necessary for you to grow, and maybe for Jin to grow too.

"I can't fucking believe you talked me into sneaking you in here." You grumbled into Jimin's ear over the music as you sat at a table in a way too loud club. "You had to, how else were we supposed to celebrate your twenty first birthday?" He grinned.

"I don't even like things like this anymore, I think this was more for you." You told him but he didn't seem to be paying attention because he was staring off towards the bar.

"Jimin? Hello?" You asked to get his attention.

"It's Mr. Kim." He now turned to you "Jin is here do you want to leave?"

"Jin?" The name hadn't left your mouth in two years now but now that it did, it had your heart pounding

"No, no, let's stay." You said as you searched where Jimin had been looking until your eyes found him. Jin was already looking at you with an unreadable expression until he smiled at you and you smiled back.

You watched as he started towards you with his drink in hand. When you looked over at Jimin, you caught him taking off out of his chair faster than you could say anything to him.

You sighed but honestly you were amused by his reaction.

"Would it be okay if I sat with you for a minute?"

You knew his voice was coming, but when you finally heard it after years of only the memory of it, it hit you hard.

"Of course." You watched as he took Jimin's spot and once your eyes connected this time, the both of you couldn't stop looking at each other.

"How are you?" You asked.

"Fine, still teaching, still eating a lot, still collecting Mario figurines." The things he listed were the same, his smile was still the one you occasionally dreamed about, but his hair was different, it was black now. "And how are you? You just kind of disappeared."

"I needed to, I had a lot to learn, a lot to think about and do. Do… do you want to talk about this?" He made you feel nervous without even doing anything just as he always had.

"I wouldn't want to ruin your birthday by talking about it, but… I'd like to, if you’re ready”.

You were thrown off by his knowledge it was your birthday, he seemed to read your expression and laugh.

"Before you go getting mad at Jimin, I just want to say that I did pester him a little. He said I could do this as long as you didn't turn and run at the sight of me, and you didn't, you smiled." He paused and watched as you smiled again. "I ask him about you from time to time and I just wanted to tell you, as your former teacher, that I'm proud of you."

Your smile grew into a big grin and you felt your eyes sting. These tears building in your eyes were much different than the ones you had cried over his words two years ago, these were happy tears and even if they weren't, you wouldn't run away again.

"So you know I'm becoming a teacher." It wasn't a question but he still nodded. "Do you still teach? Did Yoongi ever make his big break?"

"No, he's still working on making it in the music industry, I think he's getting close though. I teach preschoolers now. I left after you. Ahhh I don't know if we should go into this, it's your birthday and I really just wanted to say that I was proud of you and happy for you." You knew that fake smile he was now putting on, and you were surprised to find that it still hurt you.

"Do you still think about me?" Flew from your mouth "sorry I-"

"Yes." His answer was quick as he looked you in the eye "you know I probably shouldn't by now and you probably don't… but the honest answer is yes."

"I do. I still think about you too and how it was just… just not the right time in our lives, I wasn't ready but thinking back on it, I did love you, I just didn't know it. You taught me so much and I don’t think I’d be where I am without you… especially with you changing my grades."

He laughed at your joke but his eyes were glassy.

"Why did you decide to become a teacher?"

"Well" you smirked "A few years ago a kind man once told me that everyone deserves another shot or something like that, everyone can change."

"Smart man." Jin laughed. "Must've been handsome too."

"He still is. I use to find his dumb jokes annoying but I think I appreciate them a lot more now."

The two of you gazed at each other for a moment, he still made your body heat, your blood pump fast and your brain spin, accept this time you weren't afraid of it or the thought of feelings and closeness that came with it

"Would you be willing to give me yet another shot? I know it's been years and I didn't treat you as well as I should've but…"

His eyebrows raised in surprise.

"I- I- yeah. Yeah."

You spent your twenty first birthday sleeping in Jin's bed, at last. And for the first time, you just held each other. Being with him again felt like the most fulfilling moment of your life so far, and it was the first of many loving moments together for years to come.

Tagging: @snakeuuuuuuu

[inyournightmares97]

Unsolicited (3/3) (M)

Jackson Wang is a perfect gentleman and he thinks it’s extremely vital that you understand… that is not his penis.

Warnings: Fluff. Crack? Adult topics, mentions of sexual harassment (but not too serious) and plenty of swearing. College!au. Find the links to earlier parts in the reblog/in my main masterlist! (Also this is unedited but I just have to sleep now and tomorrow is a long day) 

Word Count: 5.1k+

“Hey, hey, look! This crab looks a little bit like you!” Jackson Wang announced cheerfully, lifting the poor creature into the air. The tiny crab waved its pincers around in a panic and finally sank a pair into Jackson’s thumb. He let out a hiss and dropped the crab. “Ow! It even bit me! That crab is definitely you.”

You sighed as you walked over to him.

Why am I so attracted to this idiot?

“Maybe you should focus on picking up plastic and not tormenting the marine life?” you suggested while Jackson pouted and nursed his thumb. “Let me see that. You’re bleeding. Why would you even pick up a live crab if you didn’t know how to handle it?”

Jackson smiled down at you cheekily as you pulled out a handkerchief and pressed it against his bleeding thumb.

“Cause it looked kind of like you.”

You rolled your eyes. “I’m sure it did.”

“No, you should have seen it! It had this huge frown. See! Exactly like the one on your face right now!” Jackson insisted. You couldn’t help it. The corner of your lip twitched in amusement. You lowered your head and busied yourself with tying the handkerchief around Jackson’s thumb but he had already seen your smile. He fist-pumped his free arm in the air. “Yes! That’s smile number seven! I’m on a roll this morning!”

You looked up at him with a sigh. “Why are you doing this?”

Jackson shrugged. His own smile was bright. “I told you already, I like you. It makes me feel special knowing that you’re laughing because I made you laugh,” he replied simply. You took a deep breath and tried to stop your heartbeat from racing out of control. Jackson kept dropping these extremely sweet lines to you as if they were nothing. He didn’t seem to understand the impact his words had on you.

It was driving you crazy.

“You know what would make me smile a lot?” you asked nonchalantly, once you’d tied up his thumb. “If you picked up a little more plastic and did a little less harm to yourself.”

Jackson nudged you lightly. “Come on. It’s a beautiful day. There’s a lovely breeze, plenty of volunteers turned up to help with the clean-up drive. Even the volleyball team showed up in support. How’s that for a happy ending?”

You narrowed your eyes and glanced at the volleyball team; it was still beyond your understanding how Jackson Wang had turned the Environment Club’s mortal enemies into their allies in less than a day. Then again, Jackson just seemed to have this natural way of charming people. Wonho and Minhyuk were currently picking up soda cans as though they hadn’t been the ones who had dropped them there in the first place.

“How did you manage that?” you demanded.

Jackson blinked. “Oh, I exchanged numbers with Wonho and then I went over to his gym. Jooheon came too. After an intense workout and some smoothies, we were all best buds. Once I told Wonho about the fishies he convinced Minhyuk to come join the clean-up drive.”

You sighed.

“What?” Jackson wondered playfully. “What are you thinking?”

“I can’t decide if men are really that fickle-minded or if you’re just really charming,” you admitted. You looked up at him and narrowed your eyes. “Charming people are usually dangerous. I’ve got my eyes on you, Wang.”

“Great. Let me know if the shirt is blocking your view because I can get rid of that for you.”

You opened your mouth to respond but you were distracted by the appearance of two tall figures crossing the sand. You lifted a hand and waved at Bambam and Yugyeom in surprise. “Hey, guys! I didn’t know that you were going to show up!” you called out cheerfully. You had never imagined that the two idiots would haul themselves over here on a Sunday morning to help clean up but they were already wearing the volunteer tags and all.

Jackson chuckled. “You know those guys?”

“Unfortunately. I invited them here. I told them there would be free beers afterward.”

“Why would anyone hand out free beers at 9am?”

“A question those idiots neglected to ask,” you replied smugly as Bambam and Yugyeom finally reached you. You noticed that Bambam had a skip to his step and he greeted Jackson with a friendly clap on the back. Then he took a deep inhalation of the morning sea breeze and sighed happily.

“Isn’t it a beautiful day?” Bambam sang.

You raised an eyebrow. “Did he-”

“Yeah, Bambam                 finally asked out the girl who walks past the basketball court every day” Yugyeom informed you. “He almost screwed up but he managed to invite her to come to the frat party tonight. Are you coming to the party, Jackson-hyung?”

Jackson turned to you hopefully. “Will you be there?”

You cleared your throat. “Uh, frat parties aren’t really my scene, to be honest…”

“What do you mean, they’re not your scene? Of course they’re your scene,” Bambam scolded you with a pointed look. He wrapped an arm around your shoulder and gave Jackson a reassuring thumbs up. “Don’t worry about anything, hyung, I’ll drag her down to the frat house if I have to. She owes me her life considering I came to this stupid clean up drive.”

You shoved Bambam off with a frown. “You haven’t even picked up any trash yet.”  

“I will, give a man a few minutes to settle in for fuck’s sake.”

You sighed and raised an eyebrow at Jackson. “I’m sorry, how did these two guys manage to make it onto your basketball team? Don’t you have some minimum IQ requirement or something?”

Jackson chuckled. “Nope, we just needed tall guys. Besides, I wasn’t the one in charge of decision-making at try-outs. This guy named Jaebum and I are co-captains right now since the old captain dropped out of the team due to an injury. There’s going to be a vote later this week on who’s going to take on the position permanently.”

You blinked. “Oh. Good luck, then.”

Bambam clapped Jackson on the shoulder. “No worries, hyung, we’ve got your back.”

Jackson shrugged. “That’s okay, Bambam. Jaebum is an amazing player and leader too, so you can vote for either of us. It’s not a competition. We just want to see who the team members are more comfortable with so we don’t take an arbitrary decision, that’s all.”

Yugyeom sighed dreamily. “Hyung, you’re so cool.”

You bit your lip as you watched Jackson’s genuine smile. Was it possible that Jackson was really as golden-hearted as Bambam and Yugyeom seemed to think he was? He was so respectful and loving of people in general, and he had an excellent sense of sportsmanship. Jackson Wang was the most charming and easy-going person you’d ever met.

Could he really have harassed Nari and sent her those dick pics?

You were starting to seriously believe that he hadn’t, and that scared you. Was Jackson Wang really the good guy? Or were you so blinded by his charms and attractiveness that you were possibly siding with a sexual predator? You had no reason to believe that Nari had faked those screenshots but your gut was telling that she had. Still. What if your gut was wrong? What if you should be taking Nari’s side and comforting her as a victim?

“Okay, folks. Lots of trash to collect here, let’s stop chatting and get moving!” you announced.

Jackson smiled and gave you a small wink.

“The fishies need us, after all.”

--------------------------------------------------------------

You had seven missed calls from Nari.

She was furious that you hadn’t been answering her calls but to be honest, you didn’t really know what to say to her. Are you sure that you didn’t fabricate those text messages? didn’t seem like something you should be saying to a possible victim of sexual harassment. You didn’t have any proof that she had faked them.

You just really badly wanted to believe that she did.  

Nari: I want another appointment to meet you on Monday, as early as possible. You can’t keep ignoring me.

You sighed and texted her back, telling her to meet you during lunch on Monday. You were waiting for her response when Bambam burst out of your bedroom fully dressed and demanded your attention.

“How do these black pants look? Good? Bad? Should I change?”

You raised an eyebrow. “They look fine.”

He glared at you and placed his hands on his hips dramatically. “You’re worse than Yugyeom. What is even the point of having a female friend if she can’t even give decent fashion advice? Sometimes I wonder why I keep you around at all,” he huffed as he went back into your bedroom.  

You frowned and yelled after him. “You keep me around? This is my apartment, Bambam! You’re the one who barged in here three hours before the frat party with your entire wardrobe saying you wanted to get dressed here!”

Bambam slammed the door shut in response and you rolled your eyes. You knew he was being extra annoying because he wanted to impress this girl. Bambam seemed like a playboy on the surface and he put up a decent front, but when he really liked someone then he got all shy and anxious. You sighed and glanced at the clock. You had somehow gotten roped into attending the frat party as well. The thought of Jackson being there was making you nervous and you wanted to back out.

Bambam burst out of your bedroom in a pair of blue jeans and a rather nice black button-down shirt. You blinked at him in surprise.

“Hey, you look good in that.”

He rolled his eyes. “I look good in everything, bitch. Come on. We’re going to be late to the party.”

You sighed and dragged yourself off the couch.

This is going to be an interesting night.

---------------------------------------------------------------------------

There was a reason you hated frat parties and it was a very good one.

You somehow always found yourself standing alone and not knowing what to do with yourself. Bambam would go and flirt around with every woman in sight and within a few hours he’d have disappeared to a bedroom upstairs. Once Yugyeom got a little tipsy he started dancing and nobody could stop him. And you were left here with nobody to talk to and nothing to do except keep drinking.

Until Jackson Wang found you.

“Hey!” Jackson greeted you delightedly. You couldn’t help it; a smile crept up on your own face the moment you saw him. He was a welcome sight in this sea of drunken people. “I didn’t think you’d actually come! Bambam told me you were probably lurking in some corner somewhere.”

You flushed. “I’m not much of a dancer…”

“Do you drink?” Jackson held up two plastic cups in front of your face. “This one is coke mixed with vodka and this one is just coke, take your pick.”

You shamelessly reached for the vodka and Jackson chuckled. His gorgeous smile was making you giddy and you were even more flustered when he gently took your arm and steered you away from the crowd of people. There was an empty couch that Jackson gestured for you to sit on. He sat next to you; close enough that your shoulders were touching but not overbearingly close.

“So, why is a girl like you friends with Yugyeom and Bambam?” Jackson wondered lightly. “I never imagined those two would be your friends but they tell me you guys are really close.”

You sighed and took a sip of the vodka. “I think I just naturally attract stupid.”

Jackson chuckled and looked at you for a long moment. His brown eyes were staring straight into yours. There were so many emotions in his eyes. Curiosity, affection, a little bit of playfulness and something else that made you feel warm and fuzzy. A drunken guy sank onto your other side of the sofa and nearly flopped onto you. You winced and Jackson noticed instantly.

“Come here, switch sides with me.”

“No, it’s fine-”

“You don’t want him falling asleep on you, come on, you sit on the armrest side,” Jackson insisted, standing up and forcing you to scooch down. You bit your lip and took his place while he shoved the drunken guy away and blocked him off with his arm. Your stomach exploded in butterflies.

Maybe it was the vodka, maybe it was just Jackson but you really wanted to just lean forward and kiss his pretty lips right then and there.

“So, what made you come to this frat party?” Jackson teased you lightly. “Was it perhaps in the hopes of seeing my beautiful self?”

“Yes,” you blurted out.

Jackson’s eyes widened a little bit but he let out a small, pleased laugh. “Okay, I wasn’t expecting that. How much have you had to drink so far? Because now I’m starting to think that I shouldn’t have given you the one with vodka.”

You pouted. “This is just my second shot, I’m fine.”

“You really came here to see me?” he wondered. He gave you a hesitant smile and for the first time, Jackson looked a little bit unsure. “Don’t lie to me about stuff like that, you already know I like you. You’re gonna get my hopes up.”

You looked down at the drink in your hands and blushed. “I want to like you,” you mumbled.

Jackson sighed. “But you’re not sure if you can trust me, right? Because you still think that I might have sent some girl pictures of my dick,” he pointed out. He sighed and ran his fingers through his hair with a frown.

You bit your lip. “I’m sorry Jackson, it’s just…”

“I know, I know. I just can’t think of a way out of this.”

“I might have to file an official complaint against you if I can’t get that girl to back off. And… well, it’s not really my job to get her to back off. It’s my job to support her and I want to do that but at the same time I might be getting you into serious trouble with the university authorities and I don’t want to be responsible for ruining your life. You seem like such an amazing guy but the truth is that a lot of sexual predators seem like nice guys at the start and…and…”

Jackson bit his lip and nodded. “Yeah, you don’t have to explain yourself.”

You felt a tear begin to form in your eye. Fuck, too much vodka.

“I want to trust you,” you sniffled. “But I’m worried that you might just be really charming and hiding something uglier deep inside. Am I a bad person?”

Jackson reached out and squeezed your hand softly.

“Never. This is not your fault.”

“Really?”

“Yeah. But if you’re really worried that I might have… might have done something like harass some girl and send her vulgar pictures then I can’t even imagine how uncomfortable you must feel around me.” Jackson forced a smile and then slowly began to get up. “You know what? I’m going to leave you alone now because I don’t want to be that guy.”

Ah, shit.

Your throat closed up. “No, please don’t avoid me, that’s not what I meant.”

Jackson sighed. “I know. I don’t want to, you have no idea how attracted I am to you. It’s insane. But considering the circumstances I feel like it would be easier for you if I stopped trying to flirt with you, right?”

You felt miserable. Jackson was the first guy you’d felt comfortable with in a long time. He was the first guy to make you laugh so easily, the first guy that genuinely made you want to trust him. Why did things have to be like this? You just knew in your gut that Nari was lying and you didn’t want to lose Jackson because of this. How could you just sit here and let this happen?

“Jackson…”

“I’m gonna go to the bathroom and if I see Bambam or Yugyeom, I’ll tell them to come find you, okay? Don’t drink too much,” Jackson told you softly. He squeezed your hand again and then gave you a soft smile before disappearing into the crowd of people. You sat there silently and felt miserable.

Why couldn’t things just be easier?

You finished the entire glass of vodka and slowly got to your feet. You were tispy now; by this time you would normally be in a pleasantly giggly mood but you didn’t feel like smiling at all. You wanted to go home. You wanted to go home and bury yourself under the blankets and cry. You started to weave your way through the crowd of dancing people when you suddenly bumped into a girl, hard. You blinked a few times and her image became clearer to you.

“Nari?” you wondered.

She raised an eyebrow. “So it’s you. You’ve been ignoring my calls all weekend so you could party?”

You flushed in anger. “I’m not required to talk to you on the weekend, you’re supposed to make an appointment and come see me. Why are you here anyway?” you demanded. Considering that this was a closed party and you’d only been invited because Yugyeom and Bambam were part of the fraternity, you wondered who had invited her here.

“I’m here with my boyfriend,” she told you smugly. “Im Jaebum.”

You blinked. Im Jaebum. You’d heard that name before. Where had you heard that name before? You felt you’d heard it very recently and also that it had come from Jackson’s pretty lips, but…

“Im Jaebum co-captain of the basketball team?” you blurted out.

Nari nodded. “Yup. That’s right. Now if you’ll excuse me, he’s waiting for me.”

She disappeared off into the crowd and you felt your head spin. This didn’t make much sense. Jackson had spoken about Jaebum as if he was a friend. But somehow his girlfriend was filing a sexual harassment complaint against him? Shouldn’t this have affected Jackson and Jaebum’s friendship at some point? You suddenly remembered Nari repeatedly talking about wanting Jackson kicked off the basketball team.

Something wasn’t right and alarm bells were ringing in your head.  

You headed back inside the party and found Yugyeom dancing on the dance floor, already buzzed and dopey-eyed. You grabbed his sleeve and yanked him down to your height. “Hey! Kim Yugyeom! Listen to me for a second, this is important. I need you to tell me something. You know Im Jaebum, your basketball captain?”

Yugyeom was still wiggling his legs in time to the music but he stopped his upper body long enough to listen to you and bop his head furiously. “Yup!” he told you with a drunken grin.

“Does he have a girlfriend?” you demanded.

Yugyeom looked down at you and his eyes widened dramatically. “What? You’re interested in Jaebum-hyung now? But what about Jackson-hyung, he likes you so much, you can’t just go and date his friend without telling him! That’s so cruel!” he scolded you. You sighed and pressed your fingers to your temples. The effect of the alcohol you drank was already wearing off from his idiocy.

“No, I’m not trying to date him I just want to-”

“Besides, Jaebum-hyung has baggage. There’s this freaky ex-girlfriend of his that cheated on him a few weeks ago and now she’s just constantly hanging around out basketball practice trying to get him to take her back it’s so pathetic,” Yugyeom continued. “She tried to fight this other female friend of his. You don’t want to mess with a crazy bitch like that. Believe me. She’s psycho.”

“Is her name Nari, by any chance?”

Yugyeom bopped his head. “Yeah, Nari, Nora, something like that. No wait. Nora is his cat. Or is Nari his cat? Anyway, one of them is his cat but the other is his ex-girlfriend-”

You let go of Yugyeom. “Thanks, Yugyeom, you’ve been a great help.”

You wandered back into the party, looking desperately for Jackson while you stumbled over your feet. You weren't completely positive but now you felt like Nari had some semblance of a motive to frame Jackson for the text messages. You had to know what Jackson thought about this. Maybe he would find some way to prove himself innocent, maybe Jaebum could help. Maybe all Nari wanted was to get Jackson kicked off the basketball team so that Jaebum could be the captain.

Fuck that stupid bitch, fuck her so much…

You couldn’t find Jackson anywhere. You spotted Bambam, red-faced and flirting with a very pretty girl that was probably his crush but he told you he had no idea where Jackson was. Neither did anybody else. You were about to give up when suddenly, you spotted him coming down the stairs out of the corner of your eye.

“Jackson!”

Jackson spotted you and waved enthusiastically. He looked excited as he shoved his way past people in order to make his way towards you and his cheeks were flushed.

“Listen, Jackson, I need to talk to you!” you began. “I think I might have an idea-”

Jackson cut you off and threw his arms around you, pulling you into a tight hug. You were shocked by the sudden affection but you pulled away and he was grinning from ear to ear. He leaned closer to you and grabbed your shoulders urgently.

“I found it!” he bellowed at you. “I found the right dick!”

“You found the… what?”

Jackson placed his hands on your cheeks and squished them delightedly. “You are so adorable! I found the dick from the pictures! It was right in plain sight all along, I don’t know why I didn’t recognize it before! Come on upstairs, I’ll show you!”

You didn’t have time to respond before Jackson had taken your arm and was leading you up the stairs through the crowds of people. You followed him silently, bewildered, until he banged open a bedroom door. The room was empty except for a slightly green-faced man sitting on the edge of the bed. He blinked up at Jackson as soon as you both entered.

“Hyung, I think I’m gonna puke,” the man muttered drunkenly.

Jackson ignored him and waved a hand in the air dramatically. “Behold, the owner of the penis that started all this trouble in the first place. I walked in on him peeing in the bathroom just now and I swear to god it is absolutely one hundred per cent his dick.”

You stared at the man.

“Youngjae?”

Youngjae blinked at you. His eyes were unfocused and he looked nauseous. “I think I’m going to puke…” he repeated weakly.

“Jackson, he looks sick!” you cried. You found a bin in the corner of the room and hurriedly placed it in front of Youngjae so that he could lean forward and puke into it. Jackson sighed and patted Youngjae’s back comfortingly.

“Yeah, he’s fine. He just had too much to drink. He’ll sober up soon. But listen! The penis in the picture is his penis, okay!” Jackson cried excitedly. “I can prove it to you, I swear!”

You winced. “You are not going to take Youngjae’s pants off while he’s drunk-”

“I know, I know, give me your phone and show me the dick pic, I promise it’ll only take a second!” Jackson insisted. You reluctantly opened up your email and found the dick pic before handing the phone to Jackson. He waited for Youngjae to finish puking before shoving the phone in his face. “Youngjae! Youngjae, look, do you recognize this picture?”

Youngjae stared at the picture for a long moment and then blinked slowly. 

“That’s… that’s my penis.Why do you have my penis?”

Jackson beamed. “See!”

You frowned and folded your arms across your chest. It was definitely a relief that Jackson’s penis wasn’t the one in the picture but there were other consequences to this sudden discovery. “Youngjae, did you send a picture of your dick to a girl without asking her?” you demanded. “Were you the one who told Nari you would rape her and stuff?”

Youngjae blinked. “What?”

You sighed and kneeled down beside him. “When… did you send… this picture?” you repeated slowly.

Youngjae groaned into the bucket and then looked up at you miserably. “T-tinder,” he mumbled. “Three months ago. Some girl asked me to send her nudes and then she ghosted me. Never used the app again.”

You sat back in relief. “So Nari did fake the texts!”

Jackson grinned at you and he pulled you up to his feet before taking both of your hands in his. “Are you convinced?” he asked you hopefully. His dark eyes were shining. “Are you convinced that I wasn’t the one that sent those dick pictures to that girl?”

You nodded.

“So you’ll go out with me?”

“I’ll do better,” you decided, and pulled Jackson down to kiss him. His soft lips met yours eagerly and you let yourself melt into his warm embrace. Jackson didn’t hold back. He had wanted to kiss you ever since the first moment you smiled at him and he was not going to waste this opportunity. His lips caressed yours and his fingers slid into your hair. You were gasping for breath by the time he pulled back.

“Wow,” he whispered.

You giggled. “That was nice.”

“Fuck, you’re so cute,” Jackson mumbled before kissing you again. He took your face in his hands and kissed you again, and again, before pulling back with a small smile. “You taste like vodka so I’m going to stop here.”

You grabbed onto his shirt eagerly and puckered your lips up at him. “No, one more kiss-”

“Nope, you’re drunk. Come on. Let’s get you downstairs and back to the party.”

You bit your lips and flushed happily as Jackson wrapped his arm around your shoulder and began to lead you out of the room. It felt amazing being in his arms and exciting to finally have proof that Jackson was the wonderful person he seemed to be. You were just about to shut the door behind you when you heard Youngjae croak feebly.

“Guys? Can someone please get me some water?”

----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

You were completely drunk when Jackson finally carried you back to your apartment.

After getting a few drinks with Jackson, you finally managed to confront Nari about faking the texts in order to get him kicked off the basketball team. It turned out that she had been trying to help Jaebum become the captain in the hopes that her bold sacrifice would make him take her back. Unluckily for her, Jaebum was completely unimpressed upon learning that she had used dick pics obtained from one of his friends in order to falsely implicate another.

It was only when drunken you began screaming at Nari (something along the lines of if you want a dick so bad then come suck mine, bitch) that Jackson decided you’d had enough for the night and ushered you out of the party. He was extremely amused by how you curled up beside him in the taxi and how you kept stroking his biceps lovingly.

“So this means,” you pointed out with a giggle, as Jackson walked you towards your door. “That I haven’t actually seen your dick yet.”

He raised an eyebrow. “That would be correct.”

“That’s kind of disappointing. All this time I thought I was looking at your penis. I actually have no idea what your penis looks like. At all. Isn’t that wild?”  

Jackson chuckled as he helped you fish your keys out from your jacket pocket. He let you lean on him clumsily as he opened the door for you, and then put the keys back in your pocket. “It’s not so wild,” Jackson replied. “If you must know, my penis is not open for public viewing, I only show it to very special people.”

You blinked at him. “I’m not special?”

“You’re special, but you’re also drunk so I’m not sure you really want to see it. How about you go to bed for tonight and we’ll talk about my dick a little bit more next time?” he offered lightly. You pouted but Jackson simply pulled you closer to him. He wrapped his arms around you in a warm, affectionate hug. “I’m just happy you trust me for now.”

You looked up at him. “I like you.”

“I like you too, babe.”

“You make me smile.”

“And you make me smile too,” he told you with a chuckle. “Now come on. Go inside, go change and go to bed. I want you to text me when you’re all tucked in, okay?”

You nodded obediently.

He leaned forward and kissed you gently on the forehead. “Good girl.”

---------------------------------------------------------

(03/04/19, 01:35)

You: Jackson….

Jackson: Hey babe

You: I got into bed and snuggled in under the covers like I promised

Jackson: Good, I knew you could do it. Are you comfy?

You: Yup. I slept naked under the covers. Want to see?

Jackson: Maybe not right now…

You: (attachment) IMG_20190304_5467.jpg

Jackson: Okay wow you just did that. Okay. I don’t really know what to do with this, I’m just hoping that sending drunk partial nudes isn’t something you do regularly?

You: No, you’re the first.

Jackson: Okay wow

You: Am I ugly? Do you think I’m ugly?

Jackson: You are definitely not ugly. You are gorgeous. It’s just that it’s gonna be really hard for me if you keep doing this

You: I feel so embarrassed I can’t believe I did that you must think I’m so ugly

Jackson: You’re NOT ugly

You: Really?

Jackson: Yes I am insanely turned on right now even though I’m trying really hard not to be because I know you’re drunk.

You: I’m not drunk.

Really. I’m not. I sobered up, I promise.

Jackson?

….. Can you show me how turned on you are for me?

Jackson: You don’t mean that.

You: I do. Please please please please

Jackson: Oh fuck. Okay you have to promise not to hate me tomorrow.

You: I won’t.

Jackson: I feel like I’m going to regret this but fuck, you’re driving me crazy so here goes

Jackson: (attachment) IMG_20190304_3218.jpg

You snuggled into your pillow and giggled as you watched the last image that slowly loaded onto your phone screen. Perhaps it was true that dicks were a little ugly, perhaps they would never be quite so delicious or mouth-watering as washboard abs or bulging biceps.

But when the dick was attached to someone as kind and sweet and gorgeous as Jackson Wang…

… well, it really wasn’t so bad after all.

----------------------------------------------------------------------

[romionestinyballoflight]

Here’s one more, because I’m in that kind of mood tonight I guess. Also, a little disclaimer: I chose to completely omit certain questions because I just wasn’t comfortable answering them. 🤷‍♀️

1. Are looks important in a relationship? — There should be a standard, but it shouldn’t be the most important thing.

2. Are relationships ever worth it? — With the right person, they are.

3. Are you a virgin? — Yes.

4. Are you in a relationship? — No.

5. Are you in love? — That would be no.

6. Are you single this year? — Yep.

7. Can you commit to one person? — Absolutely.

8. Describe your crush. — He’s very sweet and caring and genuine. Also really calm and mild mannered and funny.

9. Describe your perfect mate. — Basically what I just described for the previous question.

10. Do you believe in love at first sight? — No, I believe in lust at first sight.

11. Do you ever want to get married? — Yes.

12. Do you forgive betrayal? — Usually, but it takes awhile.

13. Do you get jealous easily? — I guess, but it fades quickly. I don’t like living like that, jealousy is an ugly emotion.

14. Do you have a crush on anyone? — Yep.

15. Do you have any piercings? — I had one in each ear, but I had to let them close up.

16. Do you have any tattoos? — Three so far. I want at least three more.

17. Do you like kissing in public? — I don’t mind it, but it needs to be low key. I’m not into heavy PDA like I used to be.

20. Do you shower every day? — Yes, I can’t stand feeling like I’m not clean.

21. Do you think someone has feelings for you? — I mean, I can hope.

22. Do you think someone is thinking about you right now? — Maybe, anything’s possible.

23. Do you think you can last in a relationship for 6 months and not cheat? — Lasted a little over a year without cheating, so yeah.

24. Do you think you’ll be married in 5 years? — Anything’s possible, but as of right now I would say probably not.

25. Do you want to be in a relationship this year? — Not really, I’m trying to work on myself right now.

26. Has anyone told you they don’t want to ever lose you? — No.

27. Has someone ever written a song or poem for you? — No.

28. Have you ever been cheated on? — Not that I know of.

29. Have you ever cheated on someone? — No, I could never do that.

30. Have you ever considered plastic surgery? If so, what would you change about your body? — The only kind of plastic surgery I have ever considered, are breast implants because I feel like I’m kind of small and I’m kind of self conscious about it, but breast cancer runs in my family and implants interferes with detection.

31. Have you ever cried over a guy/girl? — Many times.

32. Have you ever experienced unrequited love? — Yes, on both sides. I’ve had guys feel things for me that I didn’t reciprocate and then I’ve felt things toward guys that they didn’t reciprocate.

35. Have you ever kissed someone older than you? — No.

36. Have you ever liked one of your best friends? — Pretty much every time I’ve had a crush.

37. Have you ever liked someone who your friends hated? — YEP.

38. Have you ever liked someone you didn’t expect to? — Almost every time I’ve crushed on someone.

39. Have you ever wanted someone you couldn’t have? — Mm hmm.

40. Have you ever written a song or poem for someone? — Yes.

42. How long can you just kiss until your hands start to wander? — Uh, a decent amount of time. I’m very into kissing, so I like to savor it.

43. How long was your longest relationship? — A little over a year.

44. How many boyfriends/girlfriends have you had? — One.

45. How many people did you kiss in 2012/2013? — None.

47. How old are you? — 26.

48. If the person you like says they like someone else, what would you say? — Something supportive, I wouldn’t try to interfere.

49. If you have a boyfriend/girlfriend, what is your favorite thing about him/her? — No boyfriend for me right now.

50. If your first true love knocked on your door with apology and presents, would you accept? — I would accept the apology, but I don’t know if I’d be able to accept the presents.

51. Is there a boy/girl who you would do absolutely everything for? — Maybe my crush, but that’s it.

52. Is there anyone you’ve given up on? Why? — I can’t think of anyone right now, but I don’t give up on people easily.

53. Is there someone mad because you’re dating/talking to the person you are? — I’m not really talking to anyone, I just have the crush.

54. Is there someone you will never forget? — A few people.

55. Share a relationship story. — So I was at a Christmas tree lighting festival with the guy I was dating at the time, and we went behind one of the buildings where it was (it took place in downtown) to fool around (this was about ten years ago, and I was more into PDA than I am now), and we were interrupted by a drunk guy stumbling back there to take a piss. Not the most interesting story, but it’s the first one I thought of.

56. State 8 facts about your body. — 1) I really don’t like anything about my physical appearance. That’s really all you need to know, I can’t think of seven more things.

57. Things you want to say to an ex. — Not to sound like Adele, but I really do wish nothing but the best for him.

58. What are five ways to win your heart? — 1) Humor; 2) Thoughtfulness; 3) Genuine and Caring; 4) Patience; 5) Trust.

59. What do you look like? (Post a picture!) — Okay, you asked for it.

60. What is the biggest age difference between you and any of your partners? — I’ve only had one boyfriend so far, and the age difference was seven months.

61. What is the first thing you notice in someone? — How they treat people around them, I guess.

62. What is the sexiest thing someone could ever do for/to you? — Prove I’m the only one they’re thinking about, I guess.

64. What is your definition of cheating? — Anything that you feel you need to hide from your partner when it comes to another person.

67. What is your idea of the perfect date? — Something casual and fun, can’t really think of anything specific right now.

68. What is your sexual orientation? — Straight.

69. What turns you off? — Bad hygiene, cockiness, rudeness.

70. What turns you on? — Humor, generosity, caring.

73. What’s something sweet you’d like someone to do for you? — Hmm, I really don’t know.

74. What’s the most superficial characteristic you look for? — Height. I prefer if the guy I’m dating is taller than me.

75. What’s the sweetest thing anyone’s ever done for you? — The first one that came to mind is the guy I’m currently crushing on told his supervisors without hesitation that he was going into work late one day because I had to have an EGD done and I needed someone take me there and back home.

76. What’s the sweetest thing you’ve ever done for someone? — I’m really into baking for people I care about, and I’m also not shy about telling people how much they mean to me. Sorry about not getting more specific, but I can’t think of anything specific at the moment.

77. What’s your opinion on age differences in relationships? — They’re fine, but to a point.

79. When was the last time you felt jealous? Why? — Last week, because my mom had to get a new vehicle and she basically got what I’ve been wanting to get for a long time now.

80. When was the last time you told someone you loved them? — Last night, I think. I said it to my mom.

81. Who are five people you find attractive? — 1) Dan Radcliffe; 2) Josh Hutcherson; 3) Ryan Reynolds; 4) Leo DiCaprio; 5) Patrick Swayze (RIP).

82. Who is the last person you hugged? — My mom or my brother.

83. Who was your first kiss with? — My first boyfriend, Cody.

84. Why did your last relationship fail? — It had just run its course and it didn’t make sense to continue it. He’s the one who ended it, but I had been thinking about putting an end to it earlier that same day. So it didn’t end badly, and we were on the same page about it (though it may not have seemed like it at the time, because despite knowing in my heart it was done I was still horrifically heartbroken and I don’t handle rejection well).

85. Would you ever date someone off of the Internet? — Probably not, that’s a little too out of my comfort zone.

[idecidedtowriteagain]

Act Like You Love Me ~ Chapter One

A/N: I know I took forever to write this but I’m hoping I can build a habit, but anyway here’s this part, I’m hoping that by Monday I will publish Co-Stars (3) and hopefully next Wednesday or Saturday I will have the next part of this. FYI this chapter and the next (1.5) will be set in the past, it won’t be the present until Chapter Two. :)

17 years earlier...

Y/N was a songwriter and singer, so Y/N would sit outside the schoolyard humming and singing songs that were coming to her. That is until she was rudely interrupted by Selena

“And I hope someone's gonna take me home somewhere I can rest my soul. I need to kno-

“Hey, give that back, I was writing.” She says immediately getting up to get her journal from Selena before she could read the rest of her songs.

“Aww, honey, this is so cringy. Listen up, girls, ‘Everybody gets high sometimes, you know, what else can we do when we're feeling low? So, take a deep breath and let it go, you shouldn't be drowning on your own.’ How sweet, who is this about, Y/N? Do we know them? Seems like you’re in love with them to be writing such sappy love songs. We don’t tell, right, girls?” Selena says mockingly and continues reading the journal and leans into Justin, showing him the songs.

“Hey, Selena, leave Y/N alone, didn’t your mom tell you it’s not polite to go through people’s things?” Shawn asks rhetorically while snatching the journal from Selena’s grasp and handing it back to Y/N.

Y/N mumbles a thank you and watches in shock as she realizes that Shawn was saving her from further humiliation while his friends were around. Everyone knew that Shawn was a sweetheart, she more than others, but he tended to let his friends, mostly Justin, do as they please simply because it’s funny.

“Y/N, you’re really talented, don’t listen to what Selena or the other girls say, those lyrics were really deep and powerful, if you don’t mind could you maybe show me some more songs?” Shawn asks, his voice sounding genuine and his eyes filled with sincerity.

“I-I don’t think so, they’re not that good, they’re just something I write on my spare time but they’re mediocre at best.” Y/N says, trying to not sound rude after Shawn had just done something so nice for her.

“Well, princess, he’s not wrong, you have talent, and you know we’re in our own little band and could use a songwriter.” Justin comments as he comes closer and leans on Shawn’s arm while offering his hand to help her get up from the grass where she had been peacefully sitting until Selena came over.

She blushes, becoming a little flustered given that she had developed a crush on Justin ever since junior year when he started openly singing at small competitions around town just for fun. The thing is that he was always hanging around the most beautiful and popular girls, like Selena. She and Shawn had been childhood friends up until he became closer to Justin and decided to start a little band with him, but at least he was a decent person and would make light conversation in class, but we weren’t friends, anymore, since he would usually hang out with Justin, and God knows Y/N wasn’t nearly as popular as any of the people they were around.

“I’ll think it over, but I really don’t think so guys, I don’t want to disappoint either of you, if later you realize I’m actually not that great at writing.” Y/N says, trying to get them to lay off of her, it’s not that she didn’t want to help them, but why would they want to associate with her, someone who they’ve known for years but didn’t really bother talking to, well more than was necessary?

“You could never disappoint me, sweetheart.” Shawn said again, so sweet and genuine, it seemed unreal.

“Yeah, princess, if you write anything like the song Selena read, you’d be perfect.” Justin said while smirking. That damn smirk, it would unfortunately do things Y/N would hate to say out loud and was the inspiration for some of the lyrics she had written.

“Okay well since lunch is practically over, I’m going to start heading to class, it was nice talking to both of you, and thank you again, Shawn, for getting my journal back.” She says as she proceeds to pack her stuff back into her backpack, as she finishes the lunch bell rings.

“It’s no problem, if you ever need something, you know you can come to me, I’ll see you later.” Shawn states as he and Justin start to walk to where they previously were to gather their stuff.

 “So, Mom, Dad, today Shawn and Justin talked to me, they heard my lyrics and want me to be a part of their band!” I tell my parents excitedly as they make some pastries for the bakery.

“Oh hon, that’s great, Shawn is such a sweetheart, I don’t know about Justin though, there’s something off about him.” My mom states as she moves through the kitchen and into the front to attend to any customers that may have come in.

“I agree with your mother, you know we like the Mendes kid, even if he has a crush on you, he seems like a good, sensible guy.” My dad says as he gets out a batch of empanadas.

“How many times do I have to tell you that Shawn doesn’t like me, he barely even talks to me, so why would he even feel anything for me?” Y/N states exasperated and help take the empanadas to the front.

“Whatever you say hon, but we know that look in his eyes, it’s the same look I have for your mother, but it’s your choice, we know you’re really talented and have an amazing voice and even more amazing writer.” Dad says as he leans against the counter, watching her as she come back from giving Mom the empanadas.

“Okay, well I guess I’m going to go over to Shawn’s to show him some songs and maybe a recording of one of the songs, I’ll be back in maybe three hours? Okay, love you, bye.” Y/N states as she walks out of the bakery before her dad could stop her.

She drives to her house to get settled into some pajamas, aka sweatpants and an oversized t-shirt that was tucked in, and her lyric journal before walking over to Shawn’s house that was just three houses over. She knocks on the door, wondering if he’s even home since she did show up unannounced. She began to get nervous, if he’s home would he even want to listen to her songs? What if he changed his mind? What is he rea-

“Hey! What are you doing here? I mean don’t get me wrong, I’m glad you’re here and you’re always welcome here, but why?” Shawn says, getting kind of flustered as he begins to rant.

“Well, umm, I came over to show you a song. I mean, if you still want to hear it, that is.” She says still unsure if it’s was the right thing in coming over.

“Oh yes! Definitely, come in!” Shawn says, smiling ear to ear, as he opens the door to let her in.

“Thank you, Shawn.” She says as she steps into the house, even though they are neighbors, she had never been inside, it was smaller than her house but just as warm as a home should be.

“Sorry I came so late; well I know it’s barely six, but I still showed up unannounced. And like I don’t know, I’m sorry, I don’t know what to say really.” Y/N rants trying to apologize just in case he was busy.

“Y/N, it’s fine, you know it’s just me and Aaliyah since mom left us and she’s with some friends so I was just catching up on homework, you didn’t interrupt anything important, and like you said, it’s barely six, don’t worry about it.” He stated, easing her worries. But she still felt bad, temporarily forgetting about his mom leaving him and Aaliyah for someone else a few months earlier, Shawn now taking care of Aaliyah on his own at 17, now 18.

“So, we can head to my room if you want, or the kitchen, really anywhere you feel comfortable.” He says while looking at the girl, waiting for her to decide where they were going to be.

“Your room is fine if you want, I don’t mind.”

“Okay so let’s head up there, you want anything to drink or something?” She shakes her head and they head to his room that was now the master bedroom.

“So, I was thinking you could either listen to the one Selena was reading today, Cold Water , or I have this other song, it’s one of the first I wrote, so it might not be that good but it’s up to you.”

“I loved what I heard from today, but whichever is fine, do you sing?”

“I mean, I guess? Like I sing and my parents say I sing ‘great’ but I don’t really sing in public or anything. I could try singing if you want, just don’t mind my voice too much, it’s the thought that counts.” She says nervously chuckling.

“If you’re okay with it, go ahead, I’m sure you’re great and I’m not judging, sweetheart.” Shawn says also chuckling. She nods, trying to calm her nerves and get ready to sing.

‘Everybody gets high sometimes, you know

What else can we do when we're feeling low?

So, take a deep breath and let it go

You shouldn't be drowning on your own

And if you feel you're sinking, I will jump right over

Into cold, cold water for you

And although time may take us into different places

I will still be patient with you

And I hope you know

I won't let go

I'll be your lifeline tonight

She sings, closing her eyes, getting so lost in the lyrics she didn’t notice Shawn strumming his guitar, trying to find the music to go with the song. As she finishes, she takes a moment to just take it all in. She opens her eyes only to see Shawn staring at her with a look in his eyes she couldn’t quite decipher, was it admiration? Fondness? Or was she completely wrong and was it disgust?

“Y/N, that was amazing! And you were worried about singing badly, you have THE best voice I’ve heard.”

“Thank you, Shawn, I really appreciate it.”

“So, are you down to joining me and Justin, you have a lot of potential and you and Justin could sing together or just write if that’s what you want, we’ll tailor to your wants and needs.” Shawn asks pleadingly.

“If you’re sure, then yes! I’d love to, but shouldn’t we ask Justin first?” She states excitedly, happy someone besides her family thinks she has talent.

“We can if you want, but I’m pretty sure he’ll be okay, actually more than okay with it. Can I ask you something, Y/N?”

She nods, getting anxious again.

“Y/N, I have l-“

“Shawn! I’m home! I’m going to be doing homework in my roo- Oh hello, you seem familiar.” Aaliyah says as she walks into Shawn’s room.

“Aaliyah, what have I told you, knock before coming in, Y/N is a friend and our neighbor, I thought you knew her.” Shawn says while getting off his bed to go toward his sister and hugs her. Y/N gets up to go greet her as well.

“Oh Shawnie, is this the girl you had-“Aaliyah begins to say before Shawn cuts her off.

“Bye Aaliyah, go do your homework, there’s leftovers in the fridge if you’re hungry, love you, bye.” He says before pushing her out of the room.

“So... what were you saying before Aaliyah came in the room?” Y/N says while chuckling at their sibling antics.

“It’s nothing, so, you want to meet tomorrow to talk to Justin?” Shawn says, averting his eyes elsewhere.

“Sure, if you want, we can meet at lunch? We could head toward the field, almost no one goes there during lunch?” She says as she gets her journal from Shawn’s bed.

“Yeah that’s fine, I’ll talk to him, let me walk you out.”

“Okay, wait hold on. Bye aaliyah, it was nice seeing you!” I say as we walk out of Shawn’s room, hoping she heard me, from wherever she was in the house.”

“Bye Y/N, you should come around more often! Maybe next time we can hang out without Shawnie-boy here.” She screams from where one would only assume is her room.

“I can’t believe she already likes you, probably more than me and she has I known you two seconds.” Shawn says sarcastically but still laughing at their interaction.

“What can I say, I’m great.” Y/N jokes.

“You really are. So, I’ll see you tomorrow at school.” Shawn says but runs his hands though his curls, a nervous habit the young woman had picked up on. Then proceeded to walk outside.

They spend the three-minute walk from his house to hers, in a comfortable silence and we stop right before we’re at my front door.

“Goodnight, Shawn, see you tomorrow.” She says before hugging him and quickly kissing his cheek before walking out.

“Hey, hold on. Y/N, do you want to ride together to school? I mean we could hang out afterwards with Justin, and thankfully I don’t work tomorrow so we could work on the song?” Shawn says hopefully, again running his hand through his curls.

“I would love that, if you want come over, and I could give you and Aaliyah a ride.”

“I mean we could take my dad if you’d like, if you don’t want to drive.”

“Let’s take mine, you got it next time.”

“There’s going to be a next time?” Shawn says teasingly.

“Of course, you’re a great friend and my neighbor, so why not.” Shawn’s face crumbles a bit at the term friend but in a flash he’s back to smiling.

“Alright, bye, sweetheart.” He says as he walks back to his house.

[afraschatz]

Leverage - The Studio Job

It feels like ages since I’ve done one of these, and I MISS MY SHOW, so I popped in a random DVD and whohoo it is “The Studio Job”. So here is a random amount of things that I love about this episode. I love...

... the sheer swagger of Hasselhoff err Schneider err Kirkwood. Not many people can pull off that leather jacket, dude

... the fact that Eliot is present during the initial client meeting. I’ve been wondering about this actually, I mean obviously it’s clear why Eliot is here because he clearly is the only one with a decent taste in music and whatnot (what violin? Hardison who?). But, like, does Nate have a diary on his desk where he pencils in potential clients and he hasn’t yet figured out that the team reads that thing and just “happens to show up” to meetings they think interesting? Is the entire team actually present for the inital “hello” and then just randomly decides “nah, not today, today’s client is harshing my vibe, I’d rather hang out with my horde”? How do these meetings come about? I NEED TO KNOW THESE THINGS

... hahahaha, that music video is just the BEST THING. I kinda need a video like that with Eliot staring in it.

... Hardison dumping info like a boss. I know it’s common knowledge that Aldis Hodge was (in part) hired because of exactly that skill but seriously, he is SO good at it.

... “I don’t know how to play the fiddle” (Hardison probably does) and Hardison’s and Eliot’s reactions hahaha

... Kirkwood being a creepy douche. “But the computer...” - “Say it again.” Such a dick (and such a great little bit of characterisation)

... we are not talking about Hardison’s HORRIBLE outfit. Okay, maybe we are. We all know that Hardison has the best style of all of them (don’t fight me on this), so clearly the only explanation for this terribly mustard/brown combo is that he went to a thrift store and deliberately bought the most ridiculously 70s retro country shit he could find. Why? Well, to piss of Eliot, of course

... Nate wearing the white hat. Who are you trying to fool, mate? Oh, right. The mark.

... Parker’s dance theft. Hands down my favourite lift. Possibly ever. (Such a nice use of lazy sensual music there as well)

... Hardison’s clever strategy of responding to suspicion and anger by just mirroring that and instantly forming a bond of mutual pissed-off-ness

... Hardison’s condescension in reaction to the DJ’s super bad lie. Because lying is cool. But bad lying? That’s just offensive.

... Hot diggity dagum. Hahahaha, Hardison

... the notion that the entire time during that interlude Kirkwood is chewing Nate’s ear off

... Nate’s stutter - I love that he regularly uses these more obvious go-to-personas / tactics (like that stutter when he wants to come across as slightly gullible and not a threat) that aren’t that refined as those his team would chose. Why? Not because he can’t do any better. Just because he can’t be bothered. Ha, Nate, I love your casual arrogance

... sunglasses in that badly lit a club, Sophie? Really :)?

... Nate’s FACE the moment Kirkwood turns his back. You sexy, devious bastard. I love you.

... Parker and her refusal to buy into metaphors. Her sense of humour is just so - I mean OBVIOUSLY she gets it, like she gets every other metaphorical expression (“I didn’t even get to see the emerald!” anyone?). But yeah, I agree with you, it’s hilarious when the rest tries to be patient / loses their shit

... HELLO FIDDLE!

... that shot with Eliot and the blue and yellow lights

... Eliot being offended all over the place. Parker startled him! Parker was a kid!catburglar? (Dude, this is, what, the third season? How can that surprise you?) Eliot CAN sing!

... that little bit of maybe-stage-fright. And the fact that Parker is up there with him and her overacted astonishment. Which is a. seriously funny, and b. such a neat reaction because of course it pisses Eliot off, and a pissed off Eliot is not a nervous Eliot. I love these weird bits of their friendship

... Hardison following suit. - Darth Vader Eliot and Smurf Eliot. Parker’s genuine laughter. Oh God, could I love the friendship these three have any more? I think not. (And what’s the greatest thing? This isn’t even talked about, this isn’t even supposed to be the POINT of the scene. Other shows create entire episode’s, entire fucking seasons around moments like this one. Leverage? Just casually dishing it out. Because this show is perfection.)

... Hardison first comparing Eliot to Britney Spears, then calling him “baby”

...NATE poking fun at him for it

... Hardison being startled, not because of the “baby” bit obviously, but oops, there he was flirting with his best girl and his best guy and he might’ve forgotten that the coms were live

... HOW OLD ARE YOU, Nate :D

... “This must be the Southern charm I heard so much about”. Sophie, being brilliant with the “fuck you, you sleazebag” without the sleazebag actually noticing. I seriously love her throughout this episode. She has very little to do, but everything she does just reeks of that special brand of low-key arrogant professionalism and pride in her grifter skills. So much love for her.

... Nate’s sexy white hat profile!

... Eliot letting himself be seduced. Not gonna lie, there are plenty of his dates that I like better than the one in this ep, but this still is a great little scene. I really dig Eliot’s way with people (and it’s not just women; it’s people). Because he LISTENS.

... Sophie being a food snob. Again.

... Sophie’s outfit. The hair? The frigging jacket? So rad.

... Sophie’s way with Kirkwood compared to Nate’s earlier. See, this is the expert at playing people, the Shakespeare of grifters

... Eliot’s fucking voice

... Hardison’s little panic attack

... Nate’s FOCUS when he looks at Eliot. That’s not just because the con works. That is his super sharp shark focus of pride (which is totally an expression).

... seriously, Eliot’s voice. I need to dig out my old Kane CDs

... Eliot’s little smile at the end

... reward sex. You earned that, man.

... why do you take out your com? Everyone knows what you’re doing anyway. And now Nate has to beat up goons on his own. Jeez.

... “You two work out together” - hahaha, oh Nate

... “Forever 21, don’t hit me” - another seriously nice bit of interlacing the imminent danger of Nate potentially getting killed with teenage groupies. Not only is that little tidbit funny in its own right, it also tells us, before we even see it, that Nate’s all right. Eliot already knows, obviously, he has the ear bud back in and he is taking his sweet time to give that autograph and whatnot while definitely listening to Nate dealing with that problem. That is my version of how it went down and I’m sticking with it

... “Oh, ELIOT’s the fiddle” hahaha

... Parker’s outfit. Hardison’s COAT (btw, the way Parker and Hardison interact here? This is probably pretty close to how they must seem to the unsuspecting casual observer ALWAYS, just minus the outfit).

... “We was cool, we was vibin’”

... Eliot being chased, and all of this having such a retro Beatles vibe to it

... “Contrary to what you all believe, I do not control everything that happens on the internet”... five seconds later “Boom, fansite nuked”

... “I’m pretty certain a fatwa was issued!” - “You’re so vain, man.” (Because yes, Hardison. Eliot brags by telling people how many governments want him dead. That is absolutely how Eliot rolls.)

... “seriously, for breakfast?!” - I love you, Sophie

... Sophie’s superfast reactions and the joy of getting to slap Nate

... Parker’s traipsing and Hardison’s gangsta walk

... you know what is better than Hardison half naked in a recording studio? Hardison, half naking in a recording studio, yanking Eliot’s chain.

... Parker’s scale of what is weird being VERY different than anyone else’s

... “This is not from an iceberg”

... Hardison moving with Eliot’s music, then interrupting him, THEN cutting off communications :)

... niiice little bit of storytelling-by-superzoom, and Parker solving the case while Hardison and Eliot are just mucking around

... Ribs, Ribs, More Ribs

... “The guy who’s buying our fiddle? He thinks he IS the fiddle.”

... Locked off comedy frame - my favourite ever, actually. SO many great OT3 scenes in this episode

... beating goons up with a mic stand AND drumsticks

... black-hat-Nate (now, doesn’t that look more right?) impersonating Hannibal Smith

... nice shot of the four of them in the hotel

... a conveniently parked random motorbike

... Eliot err Kenneth Crane t-shirts

... Kirkwood lip-syncing

... a groupie flashmob

... Parker on stage. Because this is important. For the con. For Eliot.

... Eliot once again proving that he is a great actor (second best on the team) in that staged conversation with Kirkwood

... a conveniently placed cow-hide

... Eliot and Nate doing the gloat together.

... Nate’s black hat, toothpick combo (he is really loving this week’s outfit theme, isn’t he?)

... Eliot’s little laugh at the proposal of being one half of the next Johnny and June. I love that because it’s both sweet and kinda flattered as well as absolutely-not- are-you-kidding-me- as-that-could-tempt-me-away- from-the-sweet-gig-I-already-got

... that little beat, again with just Nate and Eliot. God, I love their friendship sosososo much. I should write a 5k essay about it. And by essay I mean ode.

... that way that Nate is not looking people in the eye when he wants to give them a bit of privacy. Or when he wants some himself

... “Notes on my performance” - “How were you?” - “No complaints” - And Eliot’s and Sophie’s relationship? SO different. Equally awesome.

... I also what to know what time it is, Eliot.

 Perfect episode. Perfect show.

[kinksvt]

→ pairing: wonwoo x reader

♕ summary: you and wonwoo had been friends for a while but after some unknown tension, that changes.

✱ genre/warnings: friends to lovers!au, talks about sex/smut related themes, nothing too explicit

✱ word count: 3k+

part 2

a/n: theres going to be a few parts bc i didnt know tumblr had a block limit or w/e its called so it stops at a random point, im sorry!

you went over to seungcheol's house where he and the rest of the twelve boys were hanging out—courtesy of your friend dropping you off. they said that they were bored and you were the only person that could hype them up and make it not so boring. you weren't exactly close to each one of them. joshua was shy around you, jun was always awkward and never knew what to say, same goes with seungkwan and dino. but you were closest with cheol, jeonghan, minghao, wonwoo and mingyu—knowing wonwoo for the longest. the rest were kind of your friends, still kind of like acquaintances. "what did you bring this time, y/n?" cheol asked, getting up from the couch where jeonghan and wonwoo also sat.

"i brought alcohol of course, and pizza." you replied, already feeling a bit tipsy after drinking a few beers before arriving.

"no alcohol for me but i'll take some pizza." dino said, standing and helping you with everything.

"i knew that you wouldn't want any so i brought backup soda." you carried a liter of pepsi and set it on cheol's kitchen countertop. all the boys got up and gathered in the kitchen, it was clear that they haven't ate yet so it was good you brought enough for them each. you smiled a bit when you felt a large hand rest on your shoulder. "you're too kind to us, y/n." a deep voice whispered, dangerously close to your ear which sent shivers down your spine.

you turned and saw wonwoo smirking. "you scared me." playfully hitting his chest, you got pizza with the rest of the boys and headed back into seungcheol's huge living room. there was a large flatscreen tv, a decent sized coffee table, two couch chairs and three long couches. although there was plenty of room for everyone to be seated, jihoon, soonyoung, joshua and dino sat on the floor, closer to the tv. you sat on the couch between cheol and jeonghan with the pizza in your lap and another beer in your hand. wonwoo came shortly afterwards and sat right in front of you.

cheol ended up putting a scary movie on, which he knew was one your favorites. every now and then you'd feel wonwoo's hair slightly brush your leg, causing you to get goosebumps. you couldn't lie and say that you never thought of him in a, not very appropriate sort of way before. he was extremely attractive—to say the least—with a deep voice, amazing talent, a caring yet dominant personality. and not to mention he's always around you and wanting to become closer to you. texting you, hanging out with you when he can, inviting you over to his house, parties, etc. he was sweet and kind in general but for some reason, when it was with you, it felt different. you weren't the only person who noticed either.

a few months ago, jihoon and some of the other guys mentioned the situation saying how he treated you differently than how he treated them and other girls. wonwoo was obviously appealing so he did have numerous girls trying to get with him around school. either trying to get with him, or in his pants. jihoon said that he'd always turn them down, ignore or just walk the other way, clearly uninterested. jun agreed and said that before you came into the picture and got close, wonwoo used to accept girls and have loads of them in his bedroom every night. he never tried to have a relationship, just a one night stand or a hookup every once a while. you clearly thought it was weird and a bit suspicious, but you never were the kind of person to draw conclusions and assumptions to stimulate your own fantasies of having the infamous jeon wonwoo as your own. he and you always talked and were closer than anyone else. sometimes he would flirt with you on the down low, but you always thought it was just friendship humor between the two of you. so you played along. you two would flirt and be suggestive around one another, compliment, call each other "babe" and say "i love you," but you never really thought of it being serious until that point. you had hoped your feelings weren’t one sided..

but even before that, that didn't stop you or your imaginations of being with him. innocently, or sinfully. you had to be honest, you did find yourself a bit turned on while thinking about his slender, long fingers inside you or tangled in your hair while you sucked him off. or how his skillful tongue would feel flicking against your clit and eating you out until you saw stars. or, how his length would stretch and fill you up.

in midst of your thoughts, a weight hit and landed on your shoulder, making you silently wince in pain. you quickly looked to your left and saw that jeonghan had fallen asleep and tipped over onto you. quietly thinking, you gently held his head and moved up to let him lay down. while doing that, you accidentally bumped wonwoo in the back with your legs, quietly apologizing in return. wonwoo turned around instantly and saw you, he smiled. you continued moving jeonghan slightly so he wouldn't wake up in pain. you knew how badly it sucked when that happened after sleeping wrong. when your work was done, you smiled to yourself and felt a tap on your back. "do you want to sit down here with me?" wonwoo whispered when you turned around. you nodded but motioned for him to wait a minute. you got up and grabbed two blankets, one for you and one for jeonghan. you covered him up and then sat on the ground against the couch next to wonwoo. "are you cold?" you asked him, genuinely concerned.

"uh, yeah actually, a bit." wonwoo replied quietly that only you could hear. smiling, you moved the blanket so it covered both you and wonwoo, but it was too small, wonwoo’s left knee was still exposed and part of his thigh. wonwoo silently groaned, then scooted closer to you, rubbing against your arm and knee. "there." he smiled as he fixed the blanket on his side, covering his legs.

you gulped. you felt so close to wonwoo. you could feel the temperature of his skin against yours. you didn't know what to do. you could practically hear your heart beating fast and hard against your chest—you were surprised that wonwoo, or the others weren't able to either. the rest of the boys were awake and still watching the movie, for the most part. some were dozing off, some were going to head home, telling cheol goodbye.

at the end of the movie, only jeonghan, seungcheol, jihoon, wonwoo, minghao, vernon and seungkwan remained in the living room.

cheol chose the next movie which, to your luck, was 50 shades of grey.

"ah, hyung why this movie?" the second youngest in the room complained.

"yeah, do you know how awkward we'll all feel? 'specially y/n!" seungkwan agreed with vernon.

seungcheol gave them both a look and turned his head over to you. "y/n, do you mind if we watch this?"

you swallowed dryly, your heart still continuing to beat rapidly. "uhm, i mean, i guess not? whatever you all want.." you silently cursed seungcheol for putting you on the spot.

seungcheol innocently smiled, "then i take that as a no, you don't mind." he put on the movie and headed back to the recliner he occupied.

suddenly wonwoo whispered in your ear, "why did you agree to this, y/n?" his breath fanned your ear, sending another round of chills through your body and heat to your core.

you weren't sure if he knew what he was doing to you. your heart still continued pounding, "i-i don't know, i didn't want to rain on anyone's parade." that technically wasn't a total lie.

wonwoo laughed slightly by your ear, "how thoughtful of you."

you turned your head, his face inches apart from yours. "thank you." you replied as calmly as you possibly could.

his eyes studied your face, then dropped down to your lips for a split second. wonwoo smirked slightly and licked his own, then nodded.

as he was about to turn his attention to the movie, you quietly said his name. "wonwoo.."

he looked at you with a raised eyebrow, "yes?"

your heart felt like it was going to burst at any moment. you wanted to kiss him. you wanted to grab his face and taste him, feel his soft tongue against yours. you wanted to feel his lips against your neck, his hands at your throat. everything. you wanted him so badly. "i..i’m going to make popcorn," you quickly got up and stumbled to the kitchen. you needed to get out of there. you could barely breathe, you needed to collect yourself and calm down. searching for the box of popcorn, you tried to slow down your breathing. you opened the bag and put it in the microwave, then set the time. you sat at the island waiting for it to finish. mentally slapping yourself, you couldn't get his lips out of your mind. you were so close to just leaning in and kissing the hell out of that boy. you rested your head against the cool marble top, gently banging your head against it, wishing that jeon wonwoo wasn't such a fucking god that you just wanted to pounce on every time you see him.

"you okay?" a voice said from in front of you.

you sighed before responding, “yeah i'm okay.” it was minghao, the red haired boy examined you closely, "you sure?"

"yeah, it’s just.." you sighed once more, laying your head on the table. the microwave began to beep, signaling the popcorn was done. minghao walked briskly over and got it out, setting it near you. "hao?" you asked, head still down.

"yes y/n?" you heard the chair next to you scrape gently on the wood floor.

lifting your head up, you leaned in closer to him, just so that wonwoo—or any of the other awoken boys—wouldn't have a chance of hearing. “what do you do if you like someone but you're just too afraid of ruining what you already have with them?" you were ready to spill.

minghao puffed his cheeks and furrowed his eyebrows, a look of confusion taking over his soft features. "oh, uh,” he paused for a second. “hmm, well, i don't really know."

"i don't know if i'm in love with him or if it's just a little infatuation."

"oh wow, who is it? if you don't mind telling me." you could tell minghao was genuinely interested and curious.

you glanced over to the living room, making sure wonwoo hadn't popped up and peeping on you two.

"WAIT." minghao said, a little too loudly.

"shh!" you hushed, quickly covering his mouth. "please, don't tell and keep it down." he mumbled an "okay" into your hand. his own reaching to your wrist to take it away. you grabbed his shoulder and put your lips near his ear, "it's wonwoo." you quickly moved away and hid your face.

"oh, psh, i knew that."

"how did you-" he cut you off by rolling his eyes.

"oh come on. i've seen the way you look at him, the way you act with him, the way you get when you're next to him."

"b-but it's just friendly things though! we-"

"what's friendly about calling each other babe, saying i love you, flirting, smiling at each other as if you two were the only ones in the world, and falling asleep on each other?"

you glared at him while he smiled, showing his teeth like a child. "shut up, i just don't know if i like him, love him, or lust over him."

"well, maybe it's not just a crush? to me it seems like its not. besides, i've seen the way you act around him. it's completely different than when you're with the others."

"oh whatever. it's not that obvious."

"y/n. come on. you stare at him with total heart eyes, you always giggle around him, you look at him up and down, you have that shine in your eyes. i bet your pupils grow a thousand times bigger by just thinking of him."

"stopppp." you said, feeling heat rise to your cheeks.

"see? you're blushing! you're so adorable." minghao laughed and put his hands on both of your shoulders.

"if you don't stop teasing me i swear to god xu minghao i will-“

"y/n?"

you and minghao faced the living room to see wonwoo standing there, confused.

minghao moved his hands off your shoulder and held back a smile. "good luck," he whispered in your ear and got up to leave the kitchen.

you punched him playfully while he laughed and you gave him a look. "hey wonwoo. what's up?"

"i was just, wondering where you were. you were taking a while and then minghao left and came here so.." wonwoo stood there awkwardly.

why was he being like this? it's as if he were nervous, anxious.

"aw, that's sweet wonwoo, i was just talking with minghao and lost track of time."

"oh,” was all that he replied with.

you grabbed the bag of popcorn and walked to him. "come on," smiling, you put your hand on his back and guided him back to the living room.

"guys, want any popcorn?" wonwoo asked the boys, but they were all too interested in the raunchy movie. "guess it'll be just for us." he sat in his previous spot while you did the same.

time passed and the movie began to get a bit more dirty. seungkwan was right, you did feel awkward. especially being next to wonwoo, who couldn't stop moving around. "is something wrong, wonwoo?" you said quietly into his ear.

"what? oh, uhm-" he coughed lightly, "yeah i'm fine, why?"

you giggled, "you keep moving and clearing your throat. are you sure you're alright?"

he visibly swallowed and smirked the slightest. he leaned over to your ear, "i'm sure y/n. i'm fine." he smiled sweetly, assuring you he was indeed fine. "what about you? are you alright?" you felt his hand touch your inner thigh, subconciously making you clench them together. you shuddered and nodded. he hummed, "mm, you sure?" he innocently began squeezing your thigh, a habit he developed long ago into letting you know he's there for you.

you swallowed back a moan and grabbed his hand, then moved him closer, "i'm sure."

neither of you were sure.

as the different sex scenes came up and you couldn't help but imagine that wonwoo was christian and you were anastasia.

before, you thought that this kind of relationship was extremely weird. being tied up, spanked, overstimulated, etc. it all seemed so..not ordinary. but one day, you were bored and your mind lingered over to the kink and researched more about it. now, you're pretty sure it wouldn't be all that bad, hot and arousing, even.

you glanced over at wonwoo who was clearly more into it than you, including the other boys. you looked around, seeing how all of them were focused on the movie, the brightness shining their eyes. moans and slaps from the movie erupted and made your ears grow warm. you looked at wonwoo, seeing his adam's apple in his throat bob. you obviously couldn't be the only one who had been affected by the movie's vulgar scenes. you felt like you needed a high power fan on your face. you weren't only turned on, but embarrassed watching this with all the other guys. how was anyone else not moving around like wonwoo? he has clearly bothered. the poor boy couldn't stay still, and the bulge in his sweatpants didn't seem so comfortable either.. you were lucky that no one could be able to read your thoughts, or who knows how they would react.

wonwoo felt the exact same way though. he couldn't stop moving around, his dick wanting nothing but friction and release. wonwoo, like you had thought as well, couldn't help but wish you two were in the movie's positions rather than christian and anastasia. he's only imagined how your moans would sound during the countless times he's gotten off to that scenario.

"finally the movie's over!" seungkwan yelled after what seemed like forever.

seungcheol got up, heading to switch the lights back on.

"what happened?" jeonghan said suddenly, voice laced with sleep as he sat up and yawned.

"and by 'head to bed' you mean beat your meat for a bit," vernon chuckled.

the rest of the guys laughed as seungcheol looked at him, "you're not wrong." vernon looked back at him with an dramatic shocked expression while seungcheol raised his eyebrows and headed upstairs. vernon looked back at him with an dramatic shocked expression while seungcheol raised his eyebrows and headed upstairs.

"i'm going home, see ya." seungkwan sat up, grabbing his jacket.

"me too, give me a ride?" vernon asked the older, also grabbing his jacket.

"sure." the two youngest said their goodbyes and headed out the door. other members followed suit and left back home as well. with you, jeonghan, jihoon, wonwoo and minghao left, everyone tried to brainstorm ideas on what to do next. "how about truth or dare?" jihoon suggested.

"what are we, eighth graders?" jeonghan complained, rolling his eyes.

"got a better idea?" jihoon snapped back.

"yeah, actually," jeonghan paused, "anything but that."

"you're just scared that someone will give you a dare that you don't wanna do." jihoon pressed at jeonghan, wanting him to give in.

he scoffed in return, "scared? no way, i just don't wanna play that dumb game."

"then suggest a better one, yoon." minghao butted in, stopping the two from fighting.

“how about spin the bottle?"

“how's that any better than truth or dare?"

[yoon-kooks]

In the Arms of a Wolf

Pairing: Yoongi x Reader

Genre: fluff, slight angst, shifter!AU

Summary: The big bad wolf might’ve saved your cottontailed ass once, but that didn’t mean the two of you were automatically BFFs. Because there was no way a wolf and bunny could ever be friends.

Warnings: swearing, mentions of sex

Word count: 5.6k

A/N: this was a long overdue request by an anon, although i think i took too many liberties with this one lmao.

Being surrounded by a pack of wolf-shifters would be terrifying for any normal bunny-shifter. But of course, you weren’t a normal bunny-shifter...

“Ow!” One of the wolves held his stomach right where you had jump-kicked into him. The other wolves took a few steps back with caution while keeping their eyes on you.

“Now please get off my carrot farm~” you hummed, as your snowy white bunny ears popped out. While you took pride in your kickboxing strength, that didn’t necessarily mean you wanted to come off as intimidating.

Just as the wolf pack began to turn their backs in shame to retreat, you waved bye and hopped backwards, unaware of the loose carrot sticking out of earth. And your clumsy self just had to stumble over it and thus trip backwards. You fell right on your cottontailed ass, but not before twisting your ankle.

With a high-pitched squeak coming from your mouth, the wolves turned around as their looks of despair quickly found a glimmer of hope. As they approached you once more, you wobbled up onto the leg that wasn’t injured, although there was no chance of you being able to fight back or run away.

So this is how it’s gonna end, you thought dramatically to yourself. Of course they weren’t going to hurt you or anything. No, you shifters were a little more civilized than that. But surely they’d coerce you into signing away your farmland to be replaced with their much more preferred burger chain, Sin-N-Pout Burger. You’d lose everything.

Suddenly, a black shadow dropped down in front of you with a snarl. You shielded yourself with your arms in self-defense and didn’t lower them until you realized the threatening sound wasn’t directed towards you.

The wolves ran off in a hurry, even more so than when you had intimidated them before stupidly tripping over a carrot. And once they were out of sight, you looked up at the shifter who stood before you.

His cold stare and all-black outfit that matched his wolf ears and tail were enough to make you believe he had only scared the other wolves away so he could have you all to himself. Although that wasn’t even remotely close to the truth.

He took one subtle look at you massaging your ankle and lifted your entire body without saying a word. You didn’t say a thing either, nor did you squirm for freedom. You only examined him more closely.

He had a pretty decent face… well as decent as wolves could look, you supposed. After further review, his black jacket wasn’t actually made of leather, although it had definitely fooled you from a distance. And to your surprise, he smelled awfully nice, like sweet carrot cake rather than seasoned meat.

After carrying you over to your tiny home on the other side of the carrot farm, he very gently placed you down onto your bed and propped your ankle up on a spare pillow.

“Thank you,” you finally spoke, reaching for the ice pack he had pulled from your freezer. He nodded at you briefly before turning around to leave. You were about to let him walk out without saying anything more, until you noticed him lifting his nose into the air and wagging his tail ever so subtly. “Um, are you hungry? You can stay for dinner if you want.”

The tail stood still for a moment. “I don’t think a little bunny with a weak ankle is in any position to be asking a wolf over for dinner.” He finally turned to you with a look that was a lot less condescending than his words implied. “Can you even walk?”

You bent forward to poke your ankle and winced when you felt a throbbing pain. With a tsk, the boy leaned you back down onto your back before disappearing into the kitchen for about ten minutes.

When he came out, he had two bowls of chopped salad in his hands. He handed you one of the bowls and stared at you until you took a bite. You didn’t worry too much about whether or not he sprayed the meal with toxic pesticides, but you did wonder how a wolf knew how to put a salad together. Nonetheless, you decided to at least give it a taste.

It didn’t taste bad. In fact, you were impressed. “You made the dressing from scratch?” you asked even though you already knew. You didn’t keep any dressing in your pantry besides a simple and plain vinaigrette.

“I made too much so there’s more in the fridge if you need it,” he spoke quietly, wagging his tail in satisfaction.

You stared at him holding his own salad bowl and pulled him down onto the edge of the bed. “Eat with me~”

He began to pick at his salad while keeping a safe distance from you until you used your free arm to maneuver yourself closer to him. You heard him growl a little, but that didn’t stop you from nuzzling up to him as your bunny ears popped out again. As much as he didn’t want to admit it, and as much as your bunny instincts advised against it, you knew he wasn’t dangerous.

“I didn’t know wolves could survive on a vegetarian diet like bunnies,” you munched on a bite of lettuce and shredded carrots before linking an arm around his. “What if we became friends? A bunny and a wolf! Wouldn’t that make a cute couple?” you squealed.

When the boy didn’t respond, you glanced up and only caught a glimpse of his blushing face before he retracted his arm from your grasp. “I eat whatever I want. Vegetables, meat, whatever, okay? So no, we can’t be friends,” his scolding voice made your bunny ears droop down.

“Then why did you save me from the other wolves?” you pouted. “Why did you carry me home and make me a salad and-”

“Okay, okay... uh…” The boy was suddenly overwhelmed with your big teary eyes. All in one instant, his scary wolf demeanor was gone. “We… we can be friends. Just don’t cry, yeah?”

You looked him in the eye to make sure he wasn’t just lying to stop you from crying. His face became flushed with a rosy tint once more despite his efforts to hide it with stern eyebrows. But you believed him.

“I’m glad,” you said softly. “And I’m sorry if I seemed too eager.”

The boy shook his head. “It’s fine, but why would a little bunny like you wanna be friends with a wolf so badly anyway?”

“Because of my monstrous strength,” you sighed. “Most bunny-shifters are scared of me and most wolf-shifters only wanna pick a fight with me. But you’re different.” Different in a good way, for sure.

“Monstrous strength?” he raised an eyebrow at you. “Weren’t you the one getting your ass kicked by that weak pack of wolves.”

“I would’ve totally kicked all of their asses if I hadn’t-” you covered your mouth to prevent yourself from spilling that one embarrassing detail.

“If you hadn’t what?”

“If I hadn’t… don’t laugh, okay? Promise me you won’t laugh?”

“Promise.”

“I tripped over a carrot. I wasn’t on the ground in pain because of a wolf. It was a carrot…”

“A carrot.”

“Yeah.”

“…”

“…”

“…ha…”

“Hey! You promised you wouldn’t laugh!” You set your salad bowl down on the nightstand and started jabbing away at the boy’s chest in a playful manner. You only stopped when you saw him wince in genuine pain, realizing you were a lot rougher than you had intended to be. Instead, you started rubbing his chest as if that would suddenly make all the pain go away. “Sorry…”

“It’s okay, I guess.” His eyes followed as your hand continued to circle his chest. “But I can see what you meant by monstrous strength now.”

“I told you!” you giggled, reattaching yourself to the boy’s arm. “I’m more dangerous than the Big Bad Wolf himself~!”

“Hey, hey, hey…” Again, he pulled away from your affection. “I said we could be friends, not lovers. So let’s not get all touchy-touchy, okay?”

“Fine!” you huffed, not knowing what his problem was with getting touchy-touchy. “But can I get your number at least? So I can call you when I get lonely?”

“Text only,” he corrected you, holding out his hand for you to give him your phone. Once he plugged in all of his contact information, you snatched it back and curiously looked at the phone screen.

“Min Yoongi?” you read aloud. “That’s a cute name, hehe.”

“Not really.”

“Can I call you something else then?”

“No.”

“How about Honey Boy?”

“What’s that supposed to mean?”

“It means you’re a sweet guy who comes the latest and leaves the-”

“No.”

“Fine, then stop calling me a little bunny!”

“What should I call you then?”

You were caught off-guard by his question. Honestly, you didn’t actually mind being called a little bunny… In fact, it was a pretty cute pet name. But at the same time, you wanted him to see you as more than just that.

“Y/N,” you spoke softly.

“Y/N,” Yoongi repeated with a nod. Something about how he looked at you when he said your name was so endearing, like you were his. You nodded back calmly until a sudden rush of adrenaline hit you.

“Yeah! So don’t forget~!” You snuck a quick peck on his cheek and wriggled your nose with excitement. “Also, let’s go on a date when my ankle gets better! Like tomorrow!”

“I’m not taking you on any date,” he began to speak in a pout. You didn’t even know wolves could pout, but it was certainly the cutest thing you ever saw. “If anything, it’d just be a hangout.”

“Right…” you giggled at Yoongi’s kissable pouty lips. At that point, you were pretty confident he was the walking definition of a tsundere: he liked to act tough, but really, he was just a giant softie. And you loved it.

-

11:08PM Y/N the bun “yoongi!!💖💖💖✨✨”

11:09PM Y/N the bun “hURRY😆😆”

11:09PM honey boy “wat”

11:11PM Y/N the bun “make a wish!⭐️”

11:12PM honey boy “wat”

11:13PM Y/N the bun “aHHH you missed it!!”

11:14PM Y/N the bun “it was 11:11”

11:14PM Y/N the bun “you were supposed to make a wish😔”

11:15PM honey boy “???”

11:16PM honey boy “was that just an excuse to message me?”

11:17PM honey boy “i gave you my number a few hours ago and youre already sliding into my DMs?🙊”

11:18PM honey boy “cute”

11:18PM Y/N the bun “uHH NO.”

11:19PM Y/N the bun “dont think so highly of yourself you boob😒”

11:20PM Y/N the bun “👋👋👋”

With a loud huff, you tossed your phone onto the nightstand and wiggled yourself into a comfortable position under the warmth of your blankets. Maybe you were a little too excited when you decided to text the boy so soon, but you didn’t appreciate him teasing you about it! And besides, you didn’t think he understood where you were coming from.

So you decided to be petty. You wouldn’t send him another text until he sent one first. You closed your eyes, confident that when you woke up, there’d be a text waiting for you.

Unfortunately for you, the task proved more difficult than you had thought. You suddenly woke up at four in the morning, frustrated. It was just a dream, you sighed to yourself. It was just a dream, but shit, it was a really good one. And you wished you hadn’t woken up at the best part.

It was a cute dream. You and Yoongi were soulmates of some sort. The two of you even had each others’ names tattooed to your skin to prove it. The funniest part, though, was that Yoongi was a “bad boy” and you actually kind of hated him for that. However, there was something in your heart that pulled you closer to him—so close that the two of you may or may not have done some naughty things together. You say “may or may not” not to be discreet, but because you literally woke up before finding out if the two of you fucked or not.

Nonetheless, you felt the need to share your funny dream with someone as if it was the juiciest gossip in town, so you picked up your phone from your nightstand. Of course, you didn’t really have any friends to tell. Well except Yoongi. But were you really going to tell him about a dream in which the two of you nearly fucked?

No, not at 4AM, you shook your head, finally putting your phone away after seriously contemplating longer than you probably should’ve. And plus, you remembered you were in the midst of being petty and not texting the boy until he texted you first.

The only problem now was that you couldn’t fall back asleep. The dream was too powerful and so was your imagination. And because of that, you rolled around in your bed with thoughts of Yoongi until your phone sounded off at sunrise.

You reached for your phone to turn off your alarm, until you realized you never had an alarm clock set. It wasn’t an alarm—it was a text!

7:31AM honey boy “is your ankle better today?”

7:32AM honey boy “asking for a friend”

7:32AM Y/N the bun “it’s well enough for a date👼”

7:33AM honey boy “hangout*”

7:34AM Y/N the bun “dATE*”

7:35AM honey boy “do you wanna hangout or not??”

7:36AM honey boy “again im asking for a friend”

7:37AM Y/N the bun “YES I WANNA HANGOUT GDI😡”

7:37AM Y/N the bun “and who tf is this friend you keep talking about lmao”

7:40AM honey boy “aNYWAY.”

7:41AM honey boy “be ready in an hour or the date is canceled”

7:41AM honey boy “hangout*”

7:43AM honey boy “fucking autocorrect istg ahaaHAHAH”

The only thing that stopped you from having the biggest smile was the fact that you could already tell your ankle wasn’t actually in the best condition yet. But you couldn’t just pass up the date.

After nearly falling over while putting on a soft red corduroy dress with a pair of black tights, you did your best to hide your dark circles and applied your cutest makeup. When you were satisfied with everything, you practiced walking without being visibly in pain.

Honk! Your bunny ears perked up at the sound of Yoongi’s arrival as you made your way to his car as gracefully as possible.

He stared at you for a long while, and you weren’t sure if it was because you were cute or because he noticed the awkward way you were walking. For more reasons than one, you hoped it was only because he thought you were cute.

Once you were finally in the car, he spoke, “My friend couldn’t come, so I came instead.”

“What a shame,” you stuck your tongue out at the wolf, although you were super excited to be spending the day with Yoongi himself. “So what’re we doing today?”

Before answering, he glanced down at your ankle, “Be honest, it still hurts, doesn’t it?” You were caught. Of course. The bunny was always caught by the wolf. But that didn’t mean you were about to ruin the date because of that.

So you threw something back at him, “Be honest, you wanted to go on this date just as much as I did, right? And don’t say it’s not a date.” Yoongi’s eyes widened a little, taken back by your jab at him.

But it wasn’t even a second later that he chuckled, “I’m flattered that you wanted to go on the date so badly with me, even with your injured ankle.” You were just about to fight him for teasing you rather than answering your question, until he continued his thought. “But yeah, you’re right. I’m glad this is a date,” he said softly.

You almost thought you misheard the wolf, who had previously refused to use the word “date” at all costs. But he definitely said it. There was no denying that. And while you thought his tsundere side was cute, you also loved that he could be so honest and sincere with you.

“But is there anything fun we can do that doesn’t require much walking?” You still felt bad that your ankle was holding you and Yoongi back.

“I can think of a few things,” he hummed with the pop of his wolf ears and smirk. He backed out of your driveway and began to drive with a sure location in mind. What was that wolf suggesting, and where was he taking you…?

“The beach~!” you squealed at the sight of sand and a sparkling sea. With it being the dead of winter, and with your ankle in its current condition, you weren’t really sure what Yoongi had planned. But to be honest, you knew you’d be happy with anything.

“You like the beach?”

“Yeah!” You continued to watch the waves wash over the shore from the car window. “Well, I’ve never actually been here before, but it looks like a lot more fun than farmland.”

“Hmm, if you really want, I’ll take you here during the summer,” he glanced at you once before turning back to the road. You gave him a quick nod back, gladly accepting another date with the boy. “But we’re just driving past it for today.”

It was a thirty-minute drive to get past the entire beach side, but you enjoyed seeing it with Yoongi, who was a lot more talkative than you would’ve thought. He told you about the sea and how he would go there often with his pack. You asked him what it was like to have a pack, a friend group. And he told you it’s nice overall, although it’s also tiresome to argue over conflicting ideals and such.

“It feels good to be left alone sometimes,” he said.

“Yeah sometimes… but I think it’s more fun to be together with someone~” you giggled into your tiny hands. “Solitude is scary, eek~!”

“Solitude?” You watched the wolf’s ears perk up upon hearing that word. “Does being alone bother you that much?”

“It used to,” you paused to tilt your head thoughtfully. “I used to hate my monstrous strength for making me so different from all the other bunny shifters. Being shunned by your own kind is really the worst, isn’t it?”

Yoongi nodded silently, prompting you to continue.

“But I realized that my strength was never a flaw. The real flaw was me not being able to embrace that difference,” you punched the air and shrugged cutely. “And if other people can’t accept that difference too, then I’m not gonna let myself suffer in solitude because of them.”

After finishing what you wanted to say, you looked over to the driver’s seat where Yoongi still remained silent. But his slight pout told you he had listened closely and was taking in everything you had said.

“I wish I could have your strength,” he finally spoke as he parked the car in front of a pretty nice apartment building.

“That’s what every wolf says after I kick their ass,” you grinned, although you knew what he really meant. As soon as you got out of the car, you hopped around to the other side and linked arms with the boy. “But thank you, Yoongi.”

“For what? For listening? I’m a pretty good listener, huh?” He gave himself a thumbs up before walking you up to his apartment.

“For yesterday, for today… For everything~” You wondered how you had gotten so quickly attached to a boy you’d only met the day before. It felt like you had known him for much longer than that.

As soon as Yoongi opened up the door to his home, your eyes sparkled. There was a cute kitchen stocked with veggies and herbs, a huge flat-screen in front of a soft couch, and several rooms which you assumed belonged to Yoongi’s roommates.

His own room was cute as well, with tiny succulents on his windowsill and a sweet honey scent, but you quickly got distracted by a yawn and curled up into a ball on his bed.

Yoongi walked over to you and laughed before picking you up and tucking you under the blankets. “Tired?”

You nodded, “Last night I had a dream about you and then I woke up before the best part so I couldn't go back to sleep~”

“You were too busy thinking about me that you couldn’t sleep?” he teased.

“Yeah~” you giggled, too sleepy to fight him for teasing you. But then a cute idea suddenly came to mind. You tugged on the boy’s fingers. “Sleep with me~”

He stared at you for a long while, debating on whether you had naughty or innocent intentions. And when he finally concluded that you were innocent, he rolled you over to one side of the bed and slid in next to you. “Only until you fall asleep, okay?”

Your body naturally cuddled up to his, and only when you were settled safely into his embrace, you looked up to him with big eyes. “Then I’ll try my best not to fall asleep so we can stay like this longer~”

“You're a brat...” he spoke so softly in that soothing raspy voice. His hands stroked your white bunny ears, and it wasn’t even a minute before you were fast asleep.

Why was it that you felt safest in the arms of a wolf?

-

When you fluttered your eyes awake, you were pleasantly surprised to still be wrapped in Yoongi’s warmth. You should’ve known he was lying when he said he’d only stay until you fell asleep. You should’ve expected that Min Yoongi was truly that sweet.

Not ready for it to end, you nuzzled your way back into his neck with a gentle kiss.

“Y/N…” His sleepy whine for you triggered your bunny ears to sprout out. Their length whacked the boy in the chin, bringing the both of you out of your sleepy states. You giggled while the grumpy wolf grumbled, “Hey, what’d you do that for…”

“It wasn’t on purpose!” you squealed, doing your best to droop your bunny ears down so they wouldn’t keep harassing the boy’s face as you squirmed in his grasp. “Sometimes my ears pop out naturally on their own when I’m happy or excited~”

“Oh…” Yoongi’s grumpy face softened with a flush of baby pink. You cupped his cheeks into your tiny hands so he couldn't look away, although he wasn’t really making an effort to hide himself. Not from you. “Don’t tell anyone I said this, but you’re kind of cute.”

“Really?” You looked up at him with the biggest eyes. He showed you a face with otherwise intangible feelings. Feelings you had never truly experienced yourself. Compassion, endearment, acceptance. Love.

Even if it wasn’t the romantic kind of love, you were content. Yoongi had already given you more than enough of what your heart lacked.

He nodded with a soft upward curve of his lips, bringing himself just a hair away from your own needy lips.

“Yoongi, how many times do I have to tell you not to leave your underwear lying on the bathroom flo-”

You lifted your head and turned towards the interruption in the doorway, a red-head holding what you assumed to be Yoongi’s boxers. As soon as he noticed you in the bed, he went mute and glared at the boy next to you before returning to his own room.

“Was that your roommate?” you tried your best not to laugh at the sight of Yoongi’s underwear, but the cute pink polka-dot pattern would surely be forever engraved into your memory.

“Yeah…” He looked a bit upset, perhaps because you had witnessed something you weren’t supposed to see. Not that you’d think badly of him just because of a pair of underwear.

Suddenly, you gave Yoongi’s legs a gentle kick. “Be a good roommate and go deal with your laundry. I’ll keep the bed warm for when you come back so we can play some more~” You winked to send the boy off on his mission.

Not long after he left the bed, however, you felt the lack of warmth without your cuddle buddy. With a shiver, you dug yourself deep below the thick blankets until only your bunny ears peeked out of the covers. That way, you’d still be able to hear anything funny about Yoongi’s underwear from the conversation in the other room...

“Are you serious, Yoongi?”

“…”

“First you refuse to eat meat, and now you’re fooling around with that bunny you protected? Do you know how bad that makes our pack look?”

Fooling around? Yoongi liked to tease you a lot, but you wouldn’t exactly call it fooling around.

“I know, I know.”

“I promised not to say anything about you being a vegetarian, but I can’t help you if everyone finds out our alpha is in love with a bunny.”

“I’m not in love with that bunny, Hoseok. I already told you I wouldn’t put our pack at risk over something as stupid as that. Just let me deal with it, okay?”

Being in love with a bunny was stupid? Loving you was stupid? You were stupid. For ever thinking a friendship with a wolf would ever work out. Because clearly, even Yoongi couldn't overlook the difference between you and him.

You sunk deeper into the blankets, retracting your floppy bunny ears until they disappeared completely. And if it wasn’t for your ankle and the distance back to your home, you’d already be gone without saying goodbye.

“Y/N,” the still very non-threatening voice spoke from outside of the warmth you had built up.

“Take me home… please.” You didn’t want to be mad, nor did you want to argue. The date was over. You wanted to be left alone, and maybe Yoongi did too.

“Okay,” he said after a moment of silence. It was clear to him that you had heard everything that was said in the other room. Nothing was taken out of context, therefore, there was nothing for him to explain. If anything, this was the easiest way to maintain as much peace as possible. It was better for everyone.

The car ride back was fun. And by fun, you meant shitty. Neither of you spoke. The drive along the beach seemed significantly longer than it had earlier that morning. But maybe that was just another reminder of the distance between your world and his.

To make things ever worse, you were stuck in traffic, which, according to the radio, was due to a crime scene of some sort.

“A witness says they saw a wolf in pink polka-dot underwear chasing after a bunny who apparently robbed him of his pants. This has put a halt on all traffic along the beach for the next hour. Please stay tuned for more updates,” the reporter spoke in an annoying nasally voice.

You would’ve loved to have made a joke about the pink polka-dot underwear wolf, but you decided against it. Instead, you opened your mouth for the first time since stepping into the car. “Pull over so I can get out,” you pointed at the parking space off to the side.

Yoongi looked at you as if you were crazy, “What’re you gonna do? Walk home from here? With your ankle?”

“Yeah. Because at this rate, I’ll get home before traffic starts moving again even if I have to hop on one foot.”

“You’re not wrong… but your ankle…”

“My ankle is fine,” you continued to point at the parking spot. After seeing what your relationship had become, Yoongi finally pulled out of traffic with a tsk and parked the car for you to get out.

Just as you opened the door, the wolf was already standing there to help you up. His tail wagged shyly between his legs as he waited for you to accept his hand.

“I said my ankle’s fine, Yoongi,” you coldly refused his gesture and got up on your own. Not to make the boy feel bad, but to prove that you’d be fine without him. Without anyone. “Besides, wouldn't it be bad if an alpha wolf like you is seen fooling around with a bunny?” You bit your tongue.

“Don’t worry about something as stupid as that,” he frowned.

“Stupid,” you shook your head as you started walking away. Why was everything that involved you suddenly stupid?

“That’s not what I meant.” He followed after you after locking his car. “I meant the situation is stupid.”

“What situation? You and me? A wolf and bunny?”

“No…” his ears flapped down.

Before you had a chance to officially end things with a goodbye, a flash of pink polka-dots ran right through the gap between you and Yoongi. It took you a second to realize it was the half-naked wolf and his pants thief.

Ignoring both Yoongi and your ankle, you ran at top speed to catch the dumbasses who were holding up traffic. After running around for ten minutes, you lost sight of the pair, as well as Yoongi.

“Do I seem like a pushover??” You ran in the direction of the threatening voice, and when you finally caught up, your mouth made a large O shape at the sight in front of you. The naked wolf was knocked unconscious, and bunny shifter was stuffing her backpack with the stolen pants while keeping a powerful grip on Yoongi’s tail. “I have a gun in my bag.”

Well that escalated really fucking quick, you thought. When the other bunny took notice of you, she gave you a friendly wave and asked for your assistance in pants-ing the wolf in her grasp. And while you were kind of curious about whether or not Yoongi’s entire underwear collection was made up of cute patterns, you shook your head of those naughty thoughts. What you were more concerned about was the fact that rescuing Yoongi from a bunny could forever taint his pack’s reputation.

Very carefully, you approached the fellow bunny shifter while making a conscious effort to keep your bunny ears from popping out. After brief eye contact with Yoongi, who was a lot calmer than one should be in a situation with a potential gun, you shoved the bunny backwards and snatched the backpack.

You had Yoongi keep a loose hold on the pissed off bunny as you dug through the backpack. Thankfully, there wasn’t actually a gun despite the other bunny’s bold statement. You threw the crumpled-up pants at the naked wolf who had finally come to his senses.

As soon as the other wolf zipped himself up, he ran over to Yoongi to thank him for saving his life.

Before Yoongi could reply, the scene was swarmed with both reporters and police who took the two traffic-stoppers away for questioning. You handed an officer the backpack and she thanked you for being a cute little sidekick. You didn’t respond.

Amidst all the chaos at the crime scene, a reporter approached you and Yoongi with a mic in hand.

“Hello! I heard you’re the brave hero who saved your fellow wolf-shifter?” the reporter stuck his mic in Yoongi’s face. You were caught off-guard by the familiar nasally voice. It was the same reporter from the radio station you had listened to in the car.

“No, I’m not a hero,” the boy shook his head while pulling you closer to him. “My friend is.”

Upon hearing those words, your bunny ears popped out. In a quick panic, you shyly tried to cover them up, only stopping when Yoongi stroked them with a gentle hand. He was purposely letting it be known. Everything.

“A bunny-shifter?! A muscle bunny saving a wolf?? That’s…!!!” the reporter gasped. You were just about to roll your eyes until the man caught his nasally breath. “That’s amazing!”

You gave the reporter a confused look, but he only shook your hand and snapped a photo of you for the next day’s newspaper before running off.

As the area cleared up, and as traffic started moving again, you were left once again with Min Yoongi.

“I look forward to reading the newspaper tomorrow~” the wolf hummed.

“You didn’t have do that, you know…”

“But it was the truth.” He gave your bunny ears a pat of acknowledgment. “And besides, it made you happy, didn’t it?”

“It made me really happy,” you spoke as softly as you could, but your bunny ears exposed your feelings anyway.

“I’m glad.” He suddenly scooped you up and walked in the direction back to where his car was parked. “So are we good? You and I?”

“Define ‘good’.”

“Do you forgive me?”

“For what? For being caught talking behind my back? I’m a pretty good listener, huh?” you mimicked the boy, though you weren’t seriously bitter about it anymore. Him simply acknowledging you as his friend and genuinely meaning it was enough for you. “I’m just kidding, Yoongi. Of course I forgive you~”

You kissed the boy on the cheek and showed him widest smile. It was an odd feeling. Yoongi had held you in that same way when the two of you first met, but everything was somehow different this time.

To say you were simply a bunny in the arms of a wolf would only be the start of a much longer tale.

[bonerpillz-blog]

Mellifluous - Reddie

Mellifluous - A sound that is sweet, smooth, and pleasing to hear.

(Part One - Technically in Richie’s POV)

Reddie AU- Richie Tozier, a 17 year old broken boy in a broken home and his best friend/first love, Eddie Kaspbrak, a 16 year old mute boy who’s silence is loud enough to keep Richie sane.

Hi Guys! So this is really just the “introductory” chapter I guess so nothing really happens. I have a lot of ideas for what I want to happen in this fanfic and I’m really excited to see how it turns out as well as the response it gets, but the first few chapters have to explain the setting first. I hope that’s okay & I hope you all enjoy it and if you do, be sure to check back for updates :-) PS! They can both drive. They’re 16/17 here. -E

Warnings - Language??? (Pretty sure the only swears in this are fucking & dipshit though lmao), very vague mentions of Richie’s family.

Italics - Flashbacks

Word Count - 1.5k

The silence was nice and never awkward, it couldn’t be.

Richie was in the tall grass sat next to Eddie. Eddie Kaspbrak, his best friend of four or so years now and maybe someday, something more. Richie watched Eddie writing in his notebook. He never knew what Eddie wrote, he didn’t want to ask not knowing if it was personal or not. Richie always assumed that was as Eddie never offered the brown leather book to him but he was alright with that.

He sighed softly, resting the palms of his hands on the ground behind him and looking out across the water. The sun was not yet set, but low enough to make the water look dull other than the glimmers from the star itself.

Richie felt a tap on his upper arm and turned his head to see Eddie with his right eyebrow raised.

“What?” Richie asked simply, staring at the smaller framed boy next to him.

Eddie pointed at him before giving a thumbs up, his eyebrow still raised.

Richie smiled. “I’m good, Eds.”

Eddie glared at the nickname, causing Richie to laugh as he looked back to the water. Eddie looked back to his notebook before closing it and setting it to his side. The sky was turning the color of fire and it calmed Richie. It took him away from the impending doom of his own home and put him in a place he enjoyed being in.

Richie looked down, feeling something hit his shoulder before realizing it was just Eddie’s head.

The two friends stayed like that for the next hour, Richie humming his favorite songs and mindless rubbing Eddie’s arm with his thumb.

Richie and Eddie, as said before, had been friends for about four years. Richie didn’t know what he’d do without Eddie, and vice versa. Richie remembered the day they met as if it was yesterday.

“Come on, guys!” Richie whined, biking around his group of friends as they were too slow for him, “Let’s go to the party it’ll be fun! Plus, Derek’s mom is a total MILF.”

“Beep Beep, Richie.” Stan interrupted, though a grin was still planted on his face.

“We were all planning to have another movie night at Bill’s, Richie,” Bev added causing Ben to nod with her.

Richie rolled his eyes. “Can’t we do something different for once?”

They all looked at each other and Mike rolled his eyes, “Guys you know he’s not gonna shut up about it unless we go.”

“H-he’s right.” Bill chimed in.

“Great so we’re going!” Richie decided, stopping his circle around them and once again biking ahead, causing Beverly to groan.

Richie and the other losers showed up to the house that night and let’s just say, Richie was ready to drink away his problems. He rarely talked to his friends about what went on at home as he felt like it would burden them. They all knew the basics of it and he knew that they were there for him if he needed it but he usually covered up his problems with jokes that weren’t needed and it was never really talked about.

He easily found the kitchen which led him to the drinks. handing one to Beverly who was right next to him. She wanted to have a movie night but figured if she was there, she might as well have had fun.

“Cheers to fucking Stan’s mom.” he grinned, hitting his cup against Beverly’s.

She rolled her eyes and raised the cup to her lips before stating that she was going to go find Ben. Richie was alone.

He downed his drink and refilled the cup almost to the brim before making his way into the living room.

The night went on and the alcohol continuously made its way down his throat, no longer burning. He was dancing with his friends and making jokes that no one was stopping thanks to the intoxication.

Richie somehow ended up on the back deck after getting yet another drink. The autumn air hit his alcohol-based warm skin and it felt good. He found a chair and sat down, setting the drink aside and staring out at the lights cascading across the town of Derry.

He wasn’t sure how long he’d been there but by the time he felt a tap on his shoulder, he was finally fully aware of his surroundings, only tipsy now. Alcohol didn’t seem to keep him drunk for as long as it used to but that was probably because he used it as an escape now. Who saw that coming?

He turned his head slightly to see a thin, brown-haired boy pointing at the chair next to him with raised eyebrows.

“Y-you wanna sit?” Richie asked, stuttering a bit, confused as to why the other boy wasn’t speaking.

The boy nodded and Richie nodded back, watching him sit.

Richie just stared at him before noticing the fanny pack around his waist. He giggled. “Is that a fanny pack?”

The other boy looked down before rolling his eyes at yet another comment made about his dad-like accessory. He nodded.

“What? Your mommy tell you not to talk to strangers?” Maybe Richie could get him to laugh but the boy just smiled at his remark, this time rolling his eyes sarcastically.

“I’m Richie.” He introduced himself, for some reason feeling the need to keep speaking.

The smaller boy seemed to laugh, only a breath escaping his lips as he dug through his now opened fanny pack and pulled out a sticky note and a pen. Richie watched him scribble something down on the small yellow paper before it was handed to him. “Eddie. I’m mute.”

Richie was still fairly tipsy and wasn’t able to comprehend what that meant. “Mute?”

The boy who Richie now new as Eddie grabbed the paper and wrote something again, handing it to him once more. “It means I can’t speak, dipshit.”

Richie’s mouth formed a small ‘o’ as it clicked in his brain. “A lot of pressure on me instantly to keep an interesting conversation going.” He spoke, and Eddie ‘laughed’ again.

They, well, Richie spoke for the next hour or so, Eddie nodding or laughing and sometimes writing something in response. Richie was genuinely surprised to know that Eddie even went to his school. He never really paid any attention to anyone outside of the losers because they were all he needed, or so it seemed.

“Hey, Eds?” Richie spoke softly, causing Eddie to look up at him, ignoring the nickname for now.

“Wanna see if the others wanna hang out tonight?” Eddie smiled and nodded, sitting back up and grabbing his notebook.

They both stood, brushing off their jeans before walking back to Richie’s house. His parents were out tonight doing god knows what but Richie really didn’t care about that. All he cared about was that he’d be able to use his phone without his parents throwing bottles at each other.

Richie unlocked the front door, stepping inside and holding the door open for Eddie. Something about Eddie had made Richie into a somewhat more decent human being… somewhat.

Richie called Bill Denbrough, another good friend of his. Bill was in the losers club before Richie was,

Bill picked up almost instantly, sending a ‘hello’ through the phone.

“Hey, Bill it’s Richie” Richie spoke, twirling the phone cord between his free fingers.

“Oh, huh-hey Richie w-what’s up?”

“Not much. Ed’s and I wanna know if we could get everyone over to your house for a movie night or something?” Richie continued, laughing when he felt Eddie punch his arm at the use of the nickname. Eddie would never admit it but Richie knew he liked the nickname.

“Huh-Yeah sounds like fun! I’ll i-invite the others!” Bill responded and Richie smiled. Of course, he messed with his friends but they were everything to him.

“Cool. Tell your mom to wait up for me.” Richie smirked, hanging up before Bill could even protest and giving Eddie a thumbs up in confirmation.

Richie lent Eddie one of his sweatshirts, the sleeves always ending past his fingers but it was cute on him, and a pair of his sweatpants which were also baggy on the skinny boy. Though they’d been friends for a long time, Richie always still turned away while Eddie changed, not wanting to make him uncomfortable.

Richie changed too, grabbing a big blanket and two pillows and leading Eddie back outside to his car.

Richie let Eddie choose the music, smiling when he settled on a station that just so happened to be playing The Beatles. Richie felt his heart flutter as he watched Eddie smile at the lyrics out of his peripheral vision. He wanted so badly to reach over and hold Eddie’s hand but he refrained, observing him instead. The almost completely set sun casting deep burgundies and blues against his face. He looked beautiful.

A big part, if not all of Richie wanted this car ride to last forever. He wanted to be around Eddie forever.

TAG LIST: (If you would like to be on this, message me off anon!): @losercrewzer @richietoaster @edsrich @80srichie @phil-lesters-ass @gayzebos

uhhhh hey guys was this good?? stay tuned for part 2 :-) -E

[wannawrite]

Alpacas Over Flowers

who? : MXM’s Im Youngmin fluff bullet-point ver. 

the ‘Our Two Lips’ flower boys LDH PJH PWJ KJW

LGL [ coming soon ] | JH [ coming soon ] 

blog navigator. ndlahdkdhdj last few instalments of the flower boy AU series….for now. Please don’t request anymore for this series until further notice but I thank you to all who requested, these were really fun to write and experiment with but it is not something I want to dwell on for too long. I don’t think I’m very good at it either…lol rip. There’s still Guanlin and Justin left. Since it is October, it’s time to get spooky. 👻 Request Halloween, fall-related things, please! Never had a go at them but I will try. Thank you so much to everyone who has contributed to this series, especially all the sweet and kind comments you guys leave. 💕 It was fun, and until Guanlin’s! - Admin L

• so there’s this cute adorable lovable amiable guy in your uni lecture • you have a major • major • major crush on him but honestly, who doesn’t ??? • but he doesn’t attend classes very often bc he’s sick • jokes • he’s just out there being an underground rapper • you don’t really pay attention to that scene but your best friend found out and pretty much told the whole squad • and she also spilled the part where you really liked him • wow thanks a lot andrea 

• 2017 best friend award • it’s embarrassing asf • now everyone ships you too together • Jinsoul offers to accompany you to one of his gigs but you decline since it’s super close to mid-terms and you aren’t sure how Youngmin can keep his grades, music and life balanced • plus, you can’t exactly picture cute, red haired Youngmin with an alpaca keychain on his backpack as a rapper • let alone one that spits utter fire • it’s lit 🔥🔥🔥 • you listened to two seconds of his diss track for Mnet and shut your laptop • contemplating life and sobbing over how good he was • it was that good • howdareyoumnet • the track was titled was titled SnakeNet™ ft. Park Woojin • bouta catch snakes with my net • * insert badly edited picture of Admin L swinging a net at Mnet and SM * • I need to stop making Mnet snake jokes i’m sorry • so • yeah, Woojin, that shy, awkward kid who majored in dance • Brand New College thrived with the talent • so anyway, your alpaca boy rarely came to class but whenever he did, you tried to sit as near as him as possible • he radiated sunshine and happiness • it made you all fuzzy and happy on the inside too, it was like he rarely had a bad day • trying to suck some of that positive energy • moving on…………….. • somehow, you always ended up like three seats away • Youngmin seemed to always be flanked by his best friends, Jeong Sewoon and Kim Donghyun • they always protected him from the world • asdfghjkl stop separating me from my man • but it’s cute to have such an amazing protection squad, they’re a force to be reckoned with • one day, you decided to approach him after your lecture • yes you did it • two steps away • his back was towards you, displaying some expensive brand of the shirt he wore • one!!! • unfortunately, he seemed to be hurried and rushed off,  a few pieces of paper dropped out of his backpack • even his cute little plushie alpaca keychain thudded to the ground • “hey! Youngmin!” you had yelled but he was already dashing down the corridor with his friends struggling to keep up • you were the last one in the lecture hall • deciding to return it to him another day, you picked up the soft plushie and the sheets of paper that fell out of his bag • c'mon you were a decent classmate • as you shuffled through the papers, a pastel coloured flyer fell out from one of them • it was very pretty • puzzled, you picked it up and examined it • “Our Two Lips?” • you showed it to the queen of knowing everything that happened in your city, Jennie • “ahhh, so the rumours are true.” she said, amused • furrowing your brows and frowning, you cocked your head to one side “what?” • “ahhh, Im Youngmin, Park Woojin and Lee Daehwi are rumoured to have been hired to work at this new cafe” • you swore you walked passed the place before when it was all boarded up and had no clue what tf it was • you nodded as Andrea cackled away • “oh my god Y/N you would love that place so much” • your friends confused you beyond imagination • “huh, why?” • Jennie and Andrea burst into laughter • “It’s a flower boy cafe!” • oh my god • w a s t e d • i’m still confused by this idea though…never heard of it until now and even though I’m able to grasp the basic concept, idk much i’m sorry :(( • okay just imagine • Im Youngmin as a barista • Im Youngmin as a barista in a flower boy cafe • Red-haired Im Youngmin as a barista in a flower boy cafe, Our Two Lips wearing a flower crown • Red-haired Im Youngmin as a barista in a flower boy cafe, Our Two Lips, wearing a flower crown as he serves you coffee • and food • food is important I hope you guys are eating well • you pretty much spit out a bunch of gibberish as your face becomes tomato red • “Oh! Wasn’t your last lecture today? Looks like you’ll have to visit him if you want to return his charm” • a s d f g h j k l • you really can just wait until the summer is up but that’s mean and he might want his charm back immediately • of course, he loves his charm, it is adorable • you love it too • it’s a soft, small plushie that has been patched on the side • :“) • you make it sit on your bed side table so it’s the first thing you see when you wake up and the last thing you see when you sleep • also because you’re scared of losing it • how would you explain to the flower boy? • it takes you a couple of days to visit the place • a few of your classmates went on the opening day • it’s safe to say they almost fainted from the cuteness • they facetimed you right after • "oHMy gOD y/N yOu goTTa cOMe anD SEE YounGMIn” Jinsoul yelled as she shakily held her phone • “yO i’m shOokeTH” - Andrea, about the cafe, 2017 • “bye bye sweetie” • honestly, you were a anxious mess, your palms were sweating, your legs felt like jelly • it’s just to return his charm! • and his lecture notes • calm down!!!!! • nah • you fretted about it until you reached the cafe and put on a fake relax look • the plan was simple, approach the counter, ignore the food, pass Youngmin his charm back and leave • that was the original plan • until you saw how breathtakingly beautiful he looked • it was probably the first proper glance you had gotten at him • that was not from your seat, far away, through the lens of a pair of binoculars, like a creep • “hello! I’m Youngmin, and I’ll be your flower,” proceeds to grab a rose out of his apron pocket, “boy for today” • you weren’t joking when you said you felt a teensy bit light headed • your hand closed around the plastic-wrapped rose and you stared at it in awe • stick!! to!! the!! plan!! • you cleared your throat, “actually-” • “ahhh, table for one” • youngmin wasn’t being rude - at least he hoped you thought so- he just wanted to get to know you a bit better, plus, you willingly came to the cafe • “you’re in the same friday and wednesday lecture as me right?” he asked as he escorted you to your seat, ignoring your reluctant protests. Youngmin was going to keep you here • “um yes.” you replied softly, heartbeat accelerating by the seconds • he nodded, “ahhh, no wonder your face seemed familiar” • eye contact, charming smile, faint tinges of pink of his cheeks • “i knew i’d never forget a beauty like you” • he left you with the menu and your red face with a disorganised plan • that boy is smooth • @ Youngmin, I see you • it’ll be rude if i reject him as a server…..no i can’t do that • you ordered something because you were hungry though, it seemed too good to resist • “what’s a beauty doing here all alone?” Youngmin posed as he collected your menu • you mumbled out an incoherent, embarrassed reply • he chuckled, “will my aegyo get you to open up?” • instead of speaking, you plucked the plushie charm from your pocket. “i found this in the hall the other day, I figured I should return it.” • “oHmYgoD!” • truthfully, Youngmin allowed it to fall, hoping you would return it and take it as a sign • Donghyun had taught him a trick or two on how to be the nation’s boyfriend and he was ready to win your heart • “are you serious? I went crazy trying to find this! Thank you so much! Isn’t your name y/n? Can I call you that?” • he appeared a little flustered and surprised, clutching his plushie close • he genuinely treasures his plushie okay, fight me • it was cute • ugh • “y/n, and yeah sure” • Youngmin opened his mouth to speak but he was called away by another server. He smiled apologetically and thanked you again, promising to be back with your order soon • you scrambled to text your friends but your hands were trembling like a leaf that you missed all the keys • do leaves tremble? • your texts to them were a mess but they got your drift anyway • Youngmin arrived with your order, “I’m here to give you your food and my heart.” • you really couldn’t help but burst into giggles • “will you accept it, Y/N?” • beaming brightly, you nodded but was still unable to keep the laughter at bay • youngmin chuckled along with you • boi i kid you not hearing his laugh was a blessing • b l e s s • since the cafe was pretty empty, Youngmin settled down in the seat across from your own because “everyone should have company” • he wasn’t much of a talker but he was a good listener, the more he warmed up to you the more he spoke • his eyes lit up when you mentioned you listened to his mix tapes • “you’re a really great rapper” • he just blushed and mumbled a 'thank you’ in reply, the ability to speak left him • “ahh, t-thank you.” • you took note of how well his red hair contrasted against his peach coloured flower crown. It only made him all the more charming and prince like • Youngmin’s company was enjoyable and you could foresee him becoming one of your good friends • you were reluctant to leave • he felt the same way • Youngmin isn’t the kind for a hella lot of aegyo but he has a way with words • even though he says he doesn’t • “y/n? do you have a map? cause honey, I’m getting lost in your eyes,” he said, tapping the pot of honey on your table • o i love puns • “you’re so sweet, are you made out of sugar?” *lifts up jar of sugar* • you’re just out there dying at his lame ass puns • but at the same time, dying bc he’s FLIRTING WITH YOU • imagine your crush flirting with you • hah can’t relate • “y/n, we’re like a four-leafed clover, you are C, I’m R and there’s love between us” he purred out, making finger hearts • you’re nearly dead and although these are somewhat awful, it’s cute • “i never knew you were like this, you never really talk in class…..” you muttered. “so innocent…” • “the only crime I’ll commit is stealing your heart” • bYE BYE IM • it gets late and you eventually have to bid him goodbye • but before you leave, he slides you a note and says, “y/n, if you can accept my love, how about accepting my number?” • “yes! I’ll text you.” • you hastily punch his number into your phone, nearly messing up because you’re still freaking out • there’s an alpaca, llama emoji next to his name, whatever you can find on your phone • suddenly, you become the envy of all the customers, especially when he gives you a matching alpaca plushie • *makes a mental reminder to attach it to your uni bag* • Youngmin smiles bashfully at you but says nothing • when you hand back the board to him after writing your signature - because you paid by credit card, he whistles • “damn, i was looking for a signature on you because a masterpiece always has one” • you are about to punch him • but only out of love • your heart is going to explode • he winks from behind the counter as you head out • “see you soon, Y/N.” 

[deadcactuswalking]

REVIEWING THE CHARTS: 10th November 2019

I think I should give an update on what I’m listening to as I don’t often do that on this show. Hold on, let’s check my last.fm... oh, yeah, 300 scrobbles for Weezer – in the past week. I really have hit rock bottom.

Top 10

For what should be the sixth consecutive week now, “Dance Monkey” by Tones and I is at #1, and somehow that’s the only thing staying stable amongst all the chaos as while I’d like to think this was a relaxed week where it cleared out everything from the JESUS IS KING album bomb and left only the remnants of that busy week, it really wasn’t, and instead was a full-on avalanche by its own accord.

The first most obvious example of that is “Don’t Start Now” by Dua Lipa, debuting at #2, and that’s pretty much the only example of this week’s generally manic appearance in the top 10, as the huge comeback single becomes Dua Lipa’s 12th UK Top 40 hit and her seventh top 10 hit, her first top 10 since “Electricity” with Silk City peaked at #4 in 2018. I’ll be speaking more in depth about that song later.

Otherwise, we don’t have much interest in this first ten songs. “Ride It” by Regard featuring Jay Sean (By technicality) is down one spot to number-three.

Unfortunately, this has opened up possibilities for Ed Sheeran and “South of the Border” featuring Camila Cabello and Cardi B up a space to number-four.

Also down one space is “Circles” by Post Malone, surprisingly, at number-five, as I saw this as possibly making a run for #1 but that doesn’t seem as likely with the monster that “Dance Monkey” is.

“Lose You to Love Me” by Selena Gomez is down three spaces off of the debut to number-six, as I expected.

Staying steady at number-seven is “Good as Hell” by Lizzo featuring Ariana Grande.

Also still at number-eight is “Memories” by Maroon 5.

Now we have two one-space fallers at the tail-end of the top 10, first of all “Bruises” by Lewis Capaldi at number-nine. I don’t even know how this is still here.

Secondly, and finally to round off the top 10, “Outnumbered” by Dermot Kennedy at #10.

Climbers

There aren’t many climbers here at all but the only two notable climbers are in the top 20 and look like foreshadowing of hits to come, so that’s notable in itself, although very unfortunate as despite me being relatively ambivalent on the pretty decent “This is Real” by Jax Jones featuring Ella Henderson moving up 11 spaces to #19, I am immensely displeased about “hot girl bummer” by blackbear peaking higher than the original “Hot Girl Summer” as it reaches the top 20 at #18 after a seven-space boost, as if this hack needed any more attention put on him.

Edit: I forgot about Niall Horan’s “Nice to Meet Ya” up eight spots to #26 this week, which I’m happy about since it’s a great song and I’d love to see it find its way into the top 10.

Fallers

There aren’t actually as many fallers this week, or at least less than I expected, but there’s still a couple notable fallers to talk about here, such as “Follow God” by Kanye West down nine spaces to #15 off of the debut at #6 last week, as well as other losses for most of the debuts from last week (Well, those that are still on the chart), those being “Floss” by AJ Tracey featuring MoStack and Not3s down five to #27, “Orphans” by Coldplay down five to #32 and “Look at Her Now” by Selena Gomez down 13 to #39. Also losing out on five spaces this week at #33 is “Take Me Back to London”, a former #1, by Ed Sheeran and Stormzy, and remixed by Sir Spyro featuring Aitch and Jaykae.

Dropouts & Returning Entries

We actually do have a re-entry this week and it’s “Graveyard” by Halsey back at #40, meaning we have eight drop-outs, most of those being established smash hits finishing up their run, those being “Sorry” by Joel Corry featuring uncredited vocals from Hayley May from #32, “Ladbroke Grove” by AJ Tracey out from #35, “Senorita” by Shawn Mendes and Camila Cabello out from #36, “Taste (Make it Shake)” by Aitch from #37, “3 Nights” by Dominic Fike from #38 and “Don’t Call Me Angel (Charlie’s Angels)” by Ariana Grande featuring Miley Cyrus and Lana Del Rey from #39, as well as, of course, Kanye West’s two hits from JESUS IS KING that debuted last week, “Selah” featuring uncredited vocals from Sunday Service, Ant Clemons and Bongo ByTheWay out from #19 and “Closed on Sunday” with A$AP Bari out from #20.

ALBUM BOMB: Krept & Konan – Revenge is Sweet

On the 1st of November this year, British trap duo Krept & Konan released their sophomore album Revenge is Sweet and it peaked at #5 on the albums chart. I haven’t listened to it because I personally don’t care much for the two rappers, but they are big enough to land two hits in the top 40, one of which was released as a single prior to the album but both bearing high-profile features, so I’ll have to talk about them.

#28 – “G Love” – Krept & Konan featuring Wizkid

Produced by P2J

First of all, I obviously do not have as much to say about Krept & Konan than I do about Kanye, so this will be a shorter episode in comparison to last week with JESUS IS KING since there’s a lot less to unpack and I have a lot less passionate opinions about the duo (Which, considering how disappointed I was with that album, is probably not a bad thing). This is pre-release single, “G Love”, Krept & Konan’s fourth UK Top 40 hit, and it features Nigerian singer Wizkid, who makes his second ever appearance on the chart. For what it’s worth, I actually very much enjoy Wizkid whenever he appears, usually bubbling under the top 40 with songs featuring Drake and Skepta, as he has a lot of charisma; honestly, I’m surprised this is his only his second appearance on the chart, and his first since “One Dance”, a Drake song featuring him and Kyla hit a record peak of #1 in 2016. It’s a pretty odd collaboration for Krept & Konan, but then again, Wizkid did a song with Skepta as well, so this could be good – and is it? Well, it isn’t a good first impression when the otherwise nice synths are clipping pretty badly but it doesn’t exactly create a bad vibe or atmosphere, and while Konan sounds half-dead on the hook, Wizkid’s high-pitched Auto-Tuned croon is pretty vibrant. Konan is equally dull on the verse, although admittedly both he and Krept have pretty funny opening lines, even if Krept is mostly talking about emojis for half of his verse (Not even kidding, apparently if you cross him, you’ll get emoji knives). I don’t really have an opinion about this song, to be honest, it’s a pretty generic Afroswing beat with some squeaky vocal samples, and Krept and Konan both sound like they did a one-take whilst high and left. There’s a weird empty space between the verses and chorus as well, it genuinely feels a bit janky at times (God, I haven’t used that word in ages). Wizkid doesn’t even have a verse, so this is pretty boring. Let’s hope the next song can redeem the duo...

#23 – “Tell Me” – Krept & Konan featuring D-Block Europe and Ling Hussle

Produced by Dabeatfreakz

Okay, so this is more in Krept & Konan’s wheelhouse and has honestly got me pretty excited because D-Block Europe are the funniest men in UK trap right now, and I don’t think they even realise it. Anyway, this is Krept & Konan’s fifth UK Top 40 hit, D-Block Europe’s sixth, and it’s actually also a pre-release single (Hell, this one’s got a video). If you’re wondering who Ling Hussle is, well, she’s actually an upcoming rapper and singer who hangs around these guys, seemingly, and hasn’t actually been able to crack a million views yet from what I can gather, so this really is kind of her breakout single and obviously her first to hit the UK Top 40. Can these five rappers make a cohesive posse cut? Well, of course not, it’s D-Block Europe, but they try, bless them. First of all, this really isn’t a Krept & Konan song, Konan is definitely there even if he’s drowned in Auto-Tune that makes him unrecognisable, but Krept has a really short verse, and Ling Hussle straight-up doesn’t, instead providing an admittedly pretty sultry hook with Young Adz, who somehow cannot handle the simple melody that Ling Hussle lays down and kills, having a stroke on the pretty bland piano-trap beat as he tends to do. Krept is also pretty pathetic here, with a hilarious falsetto that genuinely made me chuckle – although that was probably unintentional. The end of Krept’s janky verse is hilarious, with the beat just barely there, and it mostly being breathing sounds and one-syllable ad-libs while Krept barely gets words out, and it’s all drowned in Auto-Tune with so much weird empty space. It’s so bizarre, to the point where Young Adz’s obnoxious singing about wanting the woman to open her legs so he can “watch her pee” sounds pretty for-the-course. Genius annotators just gave up on Konan’s verse, and he and Dirtbike LB are easily the least interesting here, although Konan does spend much of his time making some strange, misguided metaphor for guns using Maggie Simpson. He probably has the best verse here, as it’s the only one that doesn’t completely collapse midway through. I can’t help but like this, though, because everything goes wrong at some point and no-one even attempts to fix it, much like all of D-Block Europe, who I’m starting to think are my favourite UK rap artists because they are so unashamedly awful that whilst most of their music is unlistenable, any deeper analysis forms a new genre I like to call Post-Cubist era trap-rap.

NEW ARRIVALS

#37 – “Opp Thot” – Poundz

Produced by HARGO

“I could never wife your opp-thot. Give me that neck, come bop-bop. I just want to jeet and skeet, don’t use no teeth, girl, give me that slop-top.” How poetic. It’s a viral song from Poundz, and hence his first UK Top 40 hit, and I have such little expectations that this could be Nostalgia Critic’s version of The Wall and I’d praise it to hell and back as if it were by Floyd. Seriously though, this isn’t actually that bad. Lyrical density isn’t there but I didn’t expect it to be, and the mixing on the version that is used for Spotify adverts might actually be better as the hi-hat is too centred with Poundz’s multi-tracked and kind of hurts my ears actually. There are actually some cool lines here, and punchlines that make me understand the viral success, like when he kicks someone “out like Brexit”, the loveable way in how he says he’ll shoot you (“Man get hit with the ostrich bird”), how he makes people run away from him “like Scooby”, and a couple of other funny pop culture references about Tetris, Snapchat and... getting your enemy sprayed like Fireman Sam. Yeah, that line won me over, because the beat is just a menacing piano line with some skittering trap beat behind it and honestly nothing all too special. It isn’t that bad though, there is some talent here.

#35 – “Break Up (Bye Bye)” – Cast of RuPaul’s Drag Race UK

Produced by Leland and Frederick William Scott

Features uncredited vocals from Jade Thirlwall

...Huh? Okay, so I knew of the new British edition of RuPaul’s Drag Race (Graham Norton’s a legend) but I actually have no idea how the “drag race” works. I know what drag queens are and do (If “drag queens” is the right term), but I don’t know the format of the show at all – although I know the American edition has probably been around for decades at this point. The people on the American show do release promo singles but they don’t ever get close to charting anywhere so I usually don’t have to worry about any of this, but I am a complete outsider to whatever fanbase this has, and that seems to be a sizeable portion of people since this did chart. So, I did some vague research and found out that this was written by MNEK, who you should know from “Never Forget You” and several other hit singles, for the fifth episode of the show, and is credited under the name “Frock Destroyers”. Classy. Listen, this is the cast’s first UK Top 40 hit, and I do not understand the show, I’m just going to make this clear because I won’t understand the song either (In fact, there are two songs and they have the same name but one of them is by “Filth Harmony” so I’m even more confused). Anyway, about the song: the horns sound really cheap and gross, as do the hi-hats and the awfully-mixed instrumentation in general, so much so that I’m actually distracted by the very questionable lyrics, mostly because of the awful bass mastering that isn’t only clipping but it just doesn’t have any impact in the drop. It’s not like the chorus is anthemic as it’s supposed to be either, because it just feels so rushed and random. The female lead vocal is delivered by Jade Thirlwall of Little Mix so it’s not like it isn’t a good performance, but it is so inconsistently mixed in comparison to what I’m assuming are the drag contestants, who are so much louder than everything, especially the second verse. It’s pretty catchy, admittedly, but this really is a bit of a trainwreck production-wise. I guess I’ve officially been frock-destroyed. Whatever that means.

Edit: I listened to the other version and it might actually be worse lol

#31 – “Kiss and Tell” – AJ Tracey and Skepta

Produced by Skepta

More UK trap? Okay, well, it was actually a pretty big week for the genre as AJ Tracey and Skepta are also here with their eighth and 15th UK Top 40 hit respectively, “Kiss and Tell”. AJ Tracey had a song debut last week which was okay and I’m generally indifferent towards the guy although his debut album was pretty lacklustre, and I’ve always been a Skepta fan, so in a way I’m excited to hear but I am worried that it could be pretty dull as well, considering AJ Tracey’s got top billing... but it is Skepta-produced and I haven’t heard many bad beats from the man, and this one is definitely very cute, with the twinkling synth melody and otherwise typical trap beat and 808s, as well as a haunting vocal loop. Honestly, everyone kills it here. Sure, “kiss and tell” doesn’t rhyme with “Astroworld”, but AJ Tracey’s flow in the first verse is insane, with some really great lines, especially the hilarious closing line about... something falling off a chair, let’s just say that. Seriously, this is probably AJ Tracey’s best ever verse, it’s rapid and slick, and works especially with his voice. Skepta also delivers a slightly slower verse here, but his flow is janky at times, and takes awkward pauses despite moments where he really kills it – in fact this verse parallels most of his discography. Skepta can be awkward and inconsistent but when he really kills it, I’m amazed, and he does impress me with his flow here sometimes, but AJ really shines on this song. I didn’t have much to say about that one, but it’s actually pretty great. I hope this isn’t a fluke, because if this is how AJ is coming in on his second album, it could be one of my favourite hip-hop albums of next year. We’ll see, but for now this is great.

#30 – “Thumb” – M Huncho and Nafe Smallz

Produced by Quincy

While these names may seem alien to you, they’ve actually charted before. Nafe Smallz and M Huncho both appeared with Gunna on the Plug’s “Broken Homes”, a song I wish I enjoyed more than I did, and Nafe also appeared on a pretty awful Skepta single called “Greaze Mode” (Probably a candidate for, if not, his worst song), so this is their second and third UK Top 40 hit respectively. The BBC refused to give it any cover art on their page, so I guess that could mean anything... but it most likely means that this is garbage, because this really is some awful, unforgivable dreck. First of all, let’s talk about the lyrics and structure for a bit. There are two renditions of the chorus, they’re both exactly the same, over-long two-part hooks delivered by M Huncho. There is one verse in the middle and it is entirely a trade-off between the two rappers, with Nafe Smallz being considerably more sexist and disgusting in his verse where he delivers a frankly terrible Young Thug impression. I understand that rap music has a lot of misogyny and disrespect towards women, hell, I have to acknowledge that as someone who just praised a song called “Opp Thot”, but at least have some attempt in hiding your lack of respect or sympathy for women, or being somewhat respectful in how you say everything, or at least funny in how over-the-top you’re being, perhaps. What Nafe Smallz says about the “slut” and “thot” that he doesn’t actually make effort to have sex with and just watches whilst smoking is frankly really revolting and upsetting, especially because it got into the UK Top 40 which really should say something about us as a music-listening public, that we let this get so high. Nafe Smallz’s meek, high-pitched, nasal voice is aggravating, so much so that M Huncho’s unintelligible murmuring in the intro might actually sound better. The beat has some infuriating bass mastering as most cheap UK rap does, and overall it sounds pretty type beat. M Huncho doesn’t necessarily sound bad here, but his Auto-Tuned flow does very little to change and makes the three-minute runtime feel exhausting. Admittedly, some of Nafe Smallz’s inflections sound pretty, and M Huncho’s stammering is lazy, evening the awfulness out between the two rappers out pretty well. Also, was there really any need for the whole theme of the song being about putting thumbs in... female posteriors? The outro is literally just “put my thumb up in her butt” repeated on loop. Yeah, no, I don’t like this. Next.

#2 – “Don’t Start Now” – Dua Lipa

Produced by Ian Kirkpatrick – Peaked at #30 in the US

This is the massive debut this week from pop singer Dua Lipa, one of my favourites voices in pop music right now actually, and someone who has grown on me immensely in the past year, although some of the songwriting still isn’t as strong as it should be and she still has a tendency to slip into the background of her own production. I’m hoping for that to change with her sophomore album, and this is (Probably – “Swan Song” still exists) the lead single off of that record. The cover art is going for a vaguely late-90s early 2000s look, and I’ve heard this is a more straight-forward dance-pop tune, so I’m hyped to listen to this... and yeah, as I expected, this is pretty great. Initially, I wasn’t actually impressed with the flavourless piano intro, but as soon as it kicked into full gear I knew the hype around this was worth it, because that bassline is INCREDIBLE. As someone who has recently found a lot of love for house music, this bassline is one of the best I’ve heard from the genre, and this is very much house, almost like French house to some extent, but also very nu-disco, meaning the cover art is very fitting for the era that both it and the song are attempting to replicate. Dua Lipa sounds great as she always does, going into her higher register with rhythmic, multi-tracked, almost-rapping cadences in the verse, but taking a sudden shift to a sweet diva vocal in the pre-chorus, which is beautiful, as the pianos sound good on their own, but the squealing synth comes in at the perfect time along with the hi-hats, the song is just so intricately structured... then we get the drop, which is just great, as well go back to the minimalist house beat where Dua Lipa aggressively tells off this ex who has just started putting any effort into the relationship after it ended, with sassy inflections and... random sound effects, which I’m not complaining about. The slick, disco guitar and groove in the second verse accentuates Dua’s lyrics detailing how he tried to break up with her, almost implying a manipulative or toxic relationship. The second drop is somehow more impressive than the first, with a stuttering “Don’t” hinting at the drop prior and some sampled cheering that, much like the cowbell, is a random sound effect, but adds more punch to the chorus. Once the post-chorus hit, I had to take a break from writing and genuinely calm down, I was really overwhelmed with everything happening, yet it doesn’t feel cluttered because everything comes in at the right time, sometimes when you don’t even expect it to, and the mixing is great, far from over-produced even as while it’s pure pop with a lot of manufacturing, it feels a lot more organic especially with the post-chorus, which is just gorgeous. I don’t want to even spoil it for you or myself anymore, so I think I’ll actually leave it at that. My commentary will just cheapen how brilliant this song’s climax, is, really. This is an amazing record and one of, if not my favourite song from Dua Lipa. I hope this has as much success in the US because if this doesn’t get on one of my year-end best lists for 2019 or 2020, I will be severely disappointed.

Conclusion

Well, it should be obvious, right? The Best and Worst of the Week go out pretty easily, Dua Lipa getting the Best of the Week for “Don’t Start Now”, and M Huncho and Nafe Smallz getting Worst of the Week for “Thumb” which is just gross. Honourable Mention is obviously going to AJ Tracey and Skepta for “Kiss and Tell” although Dishonourable Mention is a bit harder. I think I can’t go with the Drag Race because that would be unfair – it’s a bad song, sure, but if I understood the show more, maybe I’d see the appeal. I don’t want to step on too many toes, either. “G Love” is unremarkable, as is “Opp Thot”, so I’ll probably go with “Tell Me” by Krept & Konan featuring D-Block Europe and Ling Hussle. I hope you enjoyed reading, I’m off to listen to Pinkerton again probably, and I’ll see you next week, hopefully it’s not as busy.

[starkbarnes-lovechild]

Dancing in the Dark with Me Between Your Arms

When Tony met Steve Rogers, he thought to himself, I could fall in love with this man.

It was finals week and Tony was in desperate need of caffeine but his coffee maker was broken and he didn’t have the energy to fix it. The coffee shop was right in front of his apartment complex and they did serve the best coffee he has ever tasted, so might as well. The blue berry muffin, which was amazing, did help fortify his decision of going to the coffee shop.

(He’s been told he was the most functional zombie person. No one could really tell the difference between the sleep-deprived him and the him who has enough sleep. Well, not until they realize he tended to lose even more of his brain-to-mouth filter.)

He grabbed his wallet, keys already attached to it, his phone and his laptop to get more studying done and finish his project. After double checking he had everything, he went out and locked his door, unlocking his phone to start texting Rhodey about any other school work they might have in the subjects they share.

When he got to the coffee shop, his attention was still on his phone. His conversation with Rhodey had moved from school work to the holidays and their plans. Rhodey’s family would be hosting a reunion of sorts. Tony and his parents would be going to Italy to visit some relatives.

He was so focused on his phone that he bumped into someone on his way to the counter. His brain took a moment to process what happened but the sound of a plate and a mug hitting the floor kick-started his brain. “Oh my god I am so sorry!” He started, quickly pocketing his phone, hands raised, ready to check if the other person was hurt. When he looked up, he was welcomed by the most adorable sight.

Standing in front of him was a tall, pale blond man, maybe in his mid or late twenties, he couldn’t really tell because he was never good at guessing a person’s age by their appearance. Tony realized the other man was taller and he could actually see the man’s eyes, even if they were lowered, staring at the fallen items; they were the most breathtaking blue he has ever seen. The taller man has a soft frown and a gentle pout, eyes blinking slowly as if he was having a hard time processing some things.

“I’ll get you a new order, it’s on me. Just tell me what you want. Oh god.” Tony continued frantically, absentmindedly, when he caught sight of the other man’s shirt. “Oh Jesus. I think I’ll buy you a new shirt, too.” Finally, finally, the taller man looked up, blinked owlishly at him and just remained… silent. As the silence stretched, Tony became worried. “Are you okay?”

“Sorry.” The taller man mumbled, rubbing his eyes like a little kid. “No sleep since Wednesday.” There was an obvious whine in his voice and Tony couldn’t help but snort. He knew what it felt like to not sleep for a few days.

“I’m Tony.” He offered his hand when he got the blond man’s attention once more.

“Steve.” The blond—Steve—mumbled as he took the offered hand.

“Let me buy you lunch and a new shirt for the trouble.” Tony asked, tone confident but smile a little shy. He couldn’t help it. Steve looked like the kind of person who wasn’t hard to fall for.

 *

 Tony wakes up as Toni. She knows herself well and there is never doubt about how she feels.

Her head’s resting on her husband-to-be’s chest, strong and firm, while said husband-to-be plays with her hair. She knows how much Bucky loves to play with her hair. It’s not anything sexual either—just his way of relaxing, a way to remind him she’s there.

(“Your hair feels nice.” Bucky says one night while they watch a movie. His fingers could not stop twirling her hair. “It’s really soft and it smells nice.” He’s quiet for a while. She feels him breathe deeply against the top of her head. “You smell like home.” He whispers against her hair.)

She stays still for a moment, savoring this moment with him. Since she (he) proposed and the wedding planning started, they never had the time to rest and stay still and simply just be—to be simply Toni (Tony) and Bucky. This moment right here is a rare occurrence. Unfortunately for her, husband-to-be (it will never stop sounding so nice, Toni thinks) seems to be in a thinking mode. She’s supposed to be the only one on his mind on today.

“Stop thinking. You’re too loud.” She grumbles. His fingers pause. She feels his free hand move, cups her face and gently tilt her head up. She could see his lashes and a hint of her blue-grey eyes. She knows that color is cold, supposedly unwelcoming, but all she feels is warmth when he looks at her.

“Why? You jealous?” Bucky teases, she could see just a hint of a smirk on his handsome face. His thumb rubs her chin, probably absentmindedly. It should annoy her, how well he could read her, but it doesn’t. It simply makes it easier for him to discern if she would be Toni or Tony. Easier for her, too, since she doesn’t even need to tell him.

“I have no fucking clue what you’re talking about.” She pouts, snuggling closer to him. She could see the realization dawn in his eyes, how he just knows if she’s a she and not a he.

He simply hums and tilts his head to capture her lips in a kiss. This, this type of kisses is what she enjoys the most. His lips, soft against hers. No trace of tongue, no expectations—simply a reminder of how much they love each other.

 *

 Tony was fourteen when he first kissed a boy. It was exhilarating, feeling chapped lips against his own, a much stronger jaw and broader shoulders. He liked the way much bigger hands held onto his waist, how he had to tilt his head up to kiss him. He liked the much deeper voice whispering against his mouth, I-I’m not having sex with you, okay? You’re too young and I’m the adult here and his hushed response of yeah, yes, okay. Kiss me more.

(He couldn’t remember who gave him his first kiss but he knew he was a decent guy. He remembered how the older man had been mature enough to keep things light and easy and simply sweet. He was grateful the person who made him realize he preferred men was a genuinely nice guy.)

(That was a lie. He remembered exactly who gave him his first—his second, third, fourth and many more—kiss but being friends worked much better for them. They would only talk about it if Maria, Howard or anyone else who was aware of their relationship mentioned it.)

*

 At thirteen, Tony found out the world was more cruel than he thought.

It was his second week at MIT and already, he was gaining attention from a lot of people. At first, it was because he was incredibly young but was smarter than most of the kids. Obviously, not everyone took too kindly with someone younger being smarter, but there were a lot of people who, people who loved learning more than anything, adored Tony’s mind.

Then he was Toni one day, wearing her favorite dress with her favorite boots. Her makeup was soft and natural, seeing as her mom didn’t want him ruining his skin this early in life. Your skin is perfect, sweetheart! Her mom would always say, so she skipped foundation altogether but put on a neutral eyeshadow on her lids, some mascara, a tinted lip balm and a light pink blush, giving her a more doll-like face. Her hair was long enough for two small braids from the side to meet at the back of her head. She let her natural curls give more body to the hairstyle.

As she walked to her class, though, she could feel people staring at her but she didn’t let that bother her. She was a Stark and was younger than everyone, of course they would be staring. It wasn’t until he reached the room that he heard the whispers start.

Wait. Is that—is that Stark?!

Oh god. I didn’t know he was a perv.

That’s kind of weird.

I wonder if his parents know.

He actually looks great.

Are you for real?

Just because you don’t understand something doesn’t mean it’s wrong.

She just kept her head down and went to her usual seat.

(Later, she would find out Natasha was the one who complimented her and Rhodey was the one who had defended her.)

Most of her professors didn’t really care. They were there to teach and that was that. Of course, there were some old fashioned ones who side eyed her but otherwise kept their mouths shut—she wasn’t just the Stark heir, she was also a genius. Losing her because of discrimination would reflect badly on them and any school would have snapped at the chance to have her.

Days later, though, a group of seniors decided it would be fun to play with the crossdressing kid.

He was on his way back to the room he shared with Rhodey when he saw a commotion close to their building. A small group of students was gathered around something that seemed to be burning. He walked closer, easily dodging people because he was much smaller than they were. Wearing Rhodey’s (extremely) large hoodie helped him blend better, avoiding people’s attention.

When he finally get to the front to see what was going on, he froze when he saw the Unicorn Makeup brushes Aunt Peggy got him on his last birthday. He knew it was his because instead of the plain white handle, it was painted red and gold with the metal holding the brush painted with black. He was the only one who owned one with that particular color scheme since Aunt Peggy had it customized by Unicorn Lashes itself.

He could feel his chest tighten and suddenly he couldn’t breathe. He let his eyes roam and noticed more and more of his things—all were used whenever he felt like being Natasha.

And then large warm hands were covering his eyes, a strong chest on his back.

He could hear Natasha shouting. He knew she wasn’t angry at him. She never was. She was usually angry on his behalf.

(“My dad hates yours but he admits Howard’s been an admirable father to you.” She admitted once while they waited for Rhodey.)

“It’s going to be okay.” That was Rhodey. He’d always know Rhodey’s voice, no matter what happened. Rhodey, and sometimes Natasha, was his safe place outside of his home.

He turned around without dislodging the older man’s arms and let himself sag against Rhodey’s strong chest, his arms wrapping around the taller man’s waist, holding on tight. He felt Rhodey’s arms move, tightening their hold around him and he knew things would be okay.

(Later, he would find out the boys who burned his stuff were expelled and that his parents sued them.

Obviously, they won the case.)

 *

 “Hey, princess.” Bucky mumbles against her lips, pulling away and that, that just wouldn’t do, so she tilts her face up for more. Of course, Bucky grants her unspoken request, their lips simply moving against each other, dancing a well-known and well-loved choreography.

“Ready for our big day?” Bucky voices when they finally part. She hums and nuzzles Bucky’s neck. Of course she’s ready. She’s been ready to spend the rest of her life with Bucky since their first date that almost didn’t happen.

 *

 When Toni (Tony) met Bucky Barnes, she thought to herself, I want him to be the one.

Toni (Tony) and Steve have been friends for a month and three days (yes, she counted, sue her). She was out with Rhodey, celebrating their Master’s graduation. The others couldn’t make it, seeing as they had prior plans and the idea to celebrate together right after graduation was a snap decision. Nat was taking a few overtimes to save up for the new phone she’s been eyeing, Pepper had just gotten home from an out-of-the-country work that morning, so she begged off. He knew Thor and Bruce were still on vacation in Australia, visiting Thor’s family reunion (yep, they have been at that stage of their relationship where they take the other out of the country for family reunions).

(Toni’s pretty sure Nat and Pep declined their invitation because they were hoping she and Rhodey would get together. She knew how much they loved the idea of her and Rhodey but that moment has passed and they knew they were better off as friends.)

They were at the bar when she had the feeling someone’s staring at her. It wasn’t unusual, especially when she’s Toni. They usually wonder about the pretty girl who has some sort of “aura” (she didn’t know what that meant either). People knew she (he) was (is) genderfluid but that news got old fast. They used to stare at her to see if she’s Anthony Stark or just someone who looked a lot like him but a female. Now, though, they just stare because of the pretty face.

This one was different, though. She didn’t know why but she was curious. When she looked around, she realized why the stare was bugging her.

Even in the darkness, she can see hints of blue.

She ran.

Fuckity fuck fuck shit! Not this way. Fuck! She thought, over and over. She didn’t want Steve to find out about this until their friendship was solid. She wasn’t sure if the older man would be open-minded or disgusted.

Large warm hands held her gently but firmly.

Fuck these short legs.

She turned, her eyes burning. She won’t be crying, though. She won’t.

“Are you disgusted?” She knew her voice sounded rough, but Steve truly meant a lot to her. A few more months and she would have probably fallen in love with him.

Steve flinched, just a little, probably out of surprise.

“What?! No! Why would I be?” The blond exclaimed, his voice sounded offended, but that wouldn’t register in Toni’s mind until later.

“Because I dress like a girl and I wear makeup.” She remembered Stane saying once while talking to her father. Don’t you think it’s an anomaly? He had sneered. She was only eleven.

She has never heard her father sound so furious when he told Stane to mind his own business. I’m proud of my child, whether he decides to be a man or a woman, it’s his decision. I—Maria and I will love him the same no matter what.

Because he’s disgusting, one of the seniors who burned her stuff said when asked why they did what they did, he dresses like a girl and wears makeup even though he’s a boy.

“There’s nothing wrong with you.” She could hear the growl in his voice, making her flinch. “My friend’s genderfluid. Sometimes we call her Samantha.” Steve added shyly, as if he wasn’t sure it would help his case.

Toni just stared. This wonderful, wonderful human being accepted her without a problem. This man ran after her, obviously to clear the air. She didn’t know what she did in the past life to have Steve Rogers in her life.

“Do you, uh,” Steve started. “do I call you something else, or…” the blond trailed off, obviously lost.

“Natasha.” She blurted, startling both herself and Steve.

“What”

“Natasha Antonette.” She breathed deeply. “I—I’m Natasha Antonette.” That’s a beautiful name, my dear, she recalled her mother say and her father’s soft smile in the background. “My mom said she liked that name.” We would have named you Natalie if you were born a girl, her dad had admitted that same day. “But you can still all me Toni, but with an ‘i’.” She added shyly.

“Okay.” Steve smiled and led her to a worried Rhodey then proceeded to ask them if they wanted to join their little group. They said yes.

 *

 It was summer when Tony realized Steve was (is) in love with him.

He has been friends with Steve for one year, eleven months and two weeks when he finally got a clue. Steve has always been lenient with him, always took his side and almost always gave in to his demands. He always knew how to cheer him up and he joined him whenever he went out to buy more makeup.

It never occurred to him as odd, since the blond has always been caring, but sitting with him, in their favorite coffee shop, with him talking about his desire to kill Stane (unfortunately, dad couldn’t just fully remove the asshole from the board—he had quite a few friends and he was a poisonous snake), Steve simply listening and joking around, he caught the way the blond’s eyes softened, the overwhelming fondness and love and Jesus, this wasn’t supposed to happen, especially now that he’s practically in love with Bucky and, no. Just, no. He simply kept on talking about not having anyone love him.

He never thought he’d have to choose between two best friends.

 *

 He didn’t know what happened but there was a sudden shift in Bucky’s attitude towards him. When before, the older man was always warm and nice and sweet and always went along with their easy banter, he was now skittish and distant and lost.

“Give him time.” Steve gave him a small smile and kissed his forehead.

(He really has no idea how he never realized Steve was (is) in love with him with how affectionate the blond was with him.)

But Tony was never really the patient kind. Somehow, a few days later, he ended up kissing Bucky and Bucky was kissing back. Then pulled away. No. We can’t. I’m sorry, we can’t. He kept on muttering as he walked away.

He didn’t hear from the older man until two days later when Bucky came to his apartment, a bouquet of hyacinths in hand.

“I’m sorry for running. Do you want to go on a date?” The older man blurted, thrusting the bouquet to him. He took the flowers, buried his face in them and took a soft sniff. And if that also hid his smile and his blush, no one would know.

“Okay.” He mumbles, looking at the older man from under his lashes.

(Their first date was a disaster but was worth it in the end.)

 *

 “What are you thinking?” Bucky’s been quiet for a while now and normally it’s fine, but she knows when he’s thinking too much. She can tell he’s considering lying, knowing she’d let it go if needed, but he tells the truth instead.

“Do you feel bad, falling in love with me?” His voice is soft, perhaps afraid. She remembers admitting to him how she could have fallen in love with Steve, if she was given enough time. He never asked about it and she just let it go, knowing he’ll ask if it bothers him.

She has to be honest about this but she also knows she should be careful with her words. “Sometimes.” She admits. Bucky remains calm. “I know if we hadn’t met when we did, maybe it would have been me and Steve dating.” And it’s true. Steve is easy to love. He’s kind and gentle and sweet and understanding. “But I think of how much I love you now and I know that no matter what, I’ll fall in love with you and Steve would be hurt worse if that happened.” She’s thought about this, many times. She knows in her heart she will always, always fall in love with Bucky, no matter how amazing Steve is.

I’m sorry, she remembers saying once, while she and Steve waited for their orders. She remembers the blond smiling sadly, saying, it’s okay, I just want you to be happy and that’s that. She knows Steve was telling the truth, is still telling the truth when he said he just wanted (wants) her to be happy.

 *

 Tony was eight when he first got into his mother’s closet.

Tony has always been fascinated by his mother’s dresses and skirts and shoes whenever she moves, gliding across the room to talk to a guest or floating on the dance floor with his father. He loved the way the high heels made a tap, tap, tap, sound whenever they hit the wooden floor. The way the dresses and the skirts fluttered around his mother’s slim toned legs never failed to astound him. The smooth touch of fabric on his hands made him wish he had one of the clothes his mother loved to wear.

Maria loved dresses and skirts, preferred them over jeans because they reminded her of her childhood, she had admitted to Tony one night. Her favorite dress, by far was the light blue one with a flower pattern with a collar at the top. It was long with a tapered waist and a belt. But Maria liked it even more due to the pockets at the sides. He didn’t say it but it was his favorite, too. It was simple and old fashioned, it looked uncomfortable but it was incredibly soft.

His mother’s favorite cocktail dress, however, was the black sleeveless one with a button on the collar to form a round opening slightly above the chest area, showing his mother’s cleavage ever so slightly but still hiding it, leaving people to their imaginations. It was short enough show a part of her thighs but was still formal enough that no one would be offended.

It helped how his father adored that dress as well.

“People expect me to be conservative and docile because I married the ‘great’ Howard Stark” Maria had said with an eye roll, the air quotations evident, as she put him to bed one night, his father running late because of work. It made him giggle. “What they didn’t know is Howard married me because he can’t control me.” The fierceness hidden in his mother’s eyes and the adoration in his father’s whenever Maria verbally annihilated someone simply solidified that statement from long ago.

Now, at eight and a half years old, Tony wanted to try one of his mother’s dresses, too.

Both his parents were at a gala. They didn’t take him because it was late and a school night. Tony snuck out of his room and into his parents’. Jarvis was downstairs, probably preparing for breakfast tomorrow. His and Maria’s favorite dress was too big on him but the cocktail dress, which she surprisingly didn’t wear tonight, would fit okay, as if it was a long gown. She tried some high heels but he wobbled so he decided to try it some other time.

He walked around, the dress fluttering around his feet. He didn’t know for how long he was walking around, as if a model on a runway, when the lights suddenly turned on.

He flinched, eyes wide and fearful.

His mother simply sighed, knelt and took him into her arms. Do you like dresses, bambino? He remembered her asking. He nodded shyly, looking up at his father. Dad looked a little confused and more calculating.

“We’ll get something your size, okay?” Mom had asked, pulling away. He smiled, ecstatic by the fact he’s going to have his own dresses and skirts.

(At twelve, he decided he should be called either Natasha, Antonette or Toni because that’s how he feels.

His parents and their close friends were extremely supportive.)

 *

 “We should probably get ready.” Bucky mumbles, back to playing with her hair. She doesn’t want to get up, too comfortable in the older man’s arms. She hums, snuggling closer in case Bucky decides to get up. She would let her lips dance across his jaw or his neck while he massages her scalp now and again, his lips on the top of his head.

If they could, she’d rather to stay this way forever. But they do have a wedding to attend and so they get up to get ready. Soon after, her mom and Steve knocks on the door, carrying her clothes—a dress and a suit. Her mother immediately goes to her.

When Steve asks if she’s wearing a dress or a suit, she replies with the former as her mom cups her face gently.

“You will look astounding today, my dear, Natasha.” Her mom tucks her hair behind her ears, cupping her face gently once more before letting her go.

(Mom has always liked the name Natasha. It’s elegant yet casual, it’s the best of best worlds, my dear. She said when asked. Until now, only her mom can call her Natasha, Aunt Peggy occasionally.)

Steve takes Bucky to get him ready, already doing his best man duties, while she got ready herself. Nat was going back and forth between her and Bucky’s dressing room since she’s the one doing the boy’s (men’s) makeup.

Soon enough, she’s posing for pictures—on her on and with their family and friends but without Bucky. She wanted to keep the gown a secret to him for now.

Later, she’s walking down the aisle in his father’s arms. She knows her smile is huge, probably big enough to split her face but she doesn’t care because Bucky’s smile is just as big.

When they reach Steve, she pauses and lets her dad go, giving the blond a tight hug. “Thank you.” She whispers and she feels her arms tighten around her. When she pulls back, she could see his eyes glistening and she feel her own burn. They’re okay, though, because Steve loves her but he’s willing to move on and have his own happiness.

He takes her bouquet and grasps her hand in his as she loops her arms through her dad’s once more. As a team, it seems, they lead him to Bucky. As Steve places her hand on Bucky’s, she knows they’re having some sort of silent communication and that’s fine. She knows Bucky will tell her later if needed. Now, though, now she gets to marry the love of her life.

AO3

[anonwriter27]

Chapter 6 :)

“Holy shit! Is that a wolf!?”

All eyes turned to Myrcella’s frozen form in the doorway.

“Close, he’s a husky. Myrcella meet Greywind.” Robb said and the wolf walked and circled her. He appeared to approve of her and sat by her feet waiting to be petted.

“High praise indeed, he’s the fussiest of the lot.” Robb said. “The lot?”

“Their a pack, siblings like us, we all have one. Our mother doesn’t like them in the house, but she’s out for the day.” Bran explained, “the one sleeping on Ygritte is Ghost, he’s Jon’s.” And on hearing his name Jon emerged from the study.

“Hey Cella,” Jon had adopted Gendry’s nickname for her. “You okay you look nervous?” Myrcella fidgeted and yet again all eyes were on her.

“Yes well… you see… the things is….” “Spit it out!” Ygritte called out, earning a shove from Bran.

“Tommen and my mother are visiting and want to take me out for a meal tomorrow night.” She started.

“Sounds nice.” Jon said. “Yeah it is. But, the thing is, my mother has insisted I invite some friends; something about getting to know the people I’m spending my time with. I already invited Gendry but he can’t make it so I was wondering if you guys wanted to come?”

“Count me in!” Bran was the first to say. Jon and Ygritte smiled at each other before turning back to Myrcella, “We’ll be there.”

Robb was the last to answer, “Me too.” “Cool.” She said nonchalantly while keeping the butterflies she felt in her stomach at bay.

“So what’s the occasion?” Robb asked. “Well it’s just a day we celebrate now and then….”

They all looked at each other before Bran inquired, “Like a birthday? Or to be more specific, your birthday?”

“Ummm yeah.” Was all she said as she dipped her head and began fiddling with the ends of her skirt.

“You should have said!” Ygritte exclaimed. “I don’t really do much for my birthday. Last year me and Gendry just went to the pub for a drink, I don’t like much fuss.” She explained

“Well I’m afraid there will be a fuss.” Jon smiled, “Where is the meal?” He asked. “It’s called The Deepwood Motte.” And instantly felt nervous by the looks they exchanged. “How about I come over to yours and help you get ready tomorrow?” Ygritte offered. “Sure! That sounds great.”

Myrcella gave Ygritte her address and caught Robb’s eyes as she did so. They looked at each other for a split second and then turned away again. They never spoke of the night she stayed over and two weeks had passed since. She decided to try and forget about it, thinking he wanted to do the same.

The next day Ygritte came over, “I’ve brought loads of dresses, none of which have cuddly animals or bright coloured patterns on them. Shit this place is bad.”

“Have I ever told you that I appreciate your sensitivity?” Myrcella laughed.

Ygritte threw outfit after outfit at her until they settled on a dark red dress, it was fitted and showed off Myrcella’s figure. Myrcella was curvy, but she hid her figure under layers and jumpers and was happy to do so. But tonight she looked at her reflection and felt good, and she couldn’t help but wonder what Robb would think.

“Why did you offer to help me get ready?” “Well this place is pretty fancy and…” “My style isn’t?” “You said it not me.” The two girls laughed.

Ygritte started curling her hair, and that’s when the interrogation started.

“So what’s going on with you and Robb?”

Myrcella nearly choked on her drink, “What!?” “Oh come of it, something happened, your all skittish around each other it’s verging on sickeningly sweet.”

Myrcella turned, looked Ygritte right in the eye, and said “I dried his hair.”

“You what?” “I dried his hair and it was intimate.” “Was it the way you dried it?” Ygritte asked, trying to make sense of it all without laughing at the serious expression on Myrcella’s face. “Well I’m not sure, but we were close, like really close, and there was a moment I thought we might kiss but then we were interrupted.” “Interrupted?” “By Mrs Stark…” “Busted by Catelyn! Unfortunate.” Ygritte couldn’t take the smile off her face. “What about after?”

“After?” “When she left did you, you know?” “Oh no, I didn’t think he wanted to.” “Well did he give you that look?” “Look?” “You know when a guy wants to…” Ygritte stopped when she saw Myrcella grow increasingly uncomfortable. “Unless you don’t know?”

Myrcella looked up and shook her head.

“You mean you never…?” Myrcella shook her head again and a sensitive Ygritte emerged.

She rubbed Myrcella’s shoulder, “You’ll know, trust me.” They left it at that and got ready, exiting down the fire escape as elegantly as they could.

They stepped out of the car and various party poppers went off in their faces. “Surprise!” Robb, Jon and Bran yelled, identical grins plastered on their faces. Robb couldn’t help but stare, she looked beautiful and he wanted so badly to tell her.

“You weren’t kidding about the fuss!” But Myrcella couldn’t help but feel warm and fuzzy inside from the effort they went to.

As they began to walk into the restaurant, Robb fell into step behind the rest of the group and next to Myrcella. “You look beautiful, I mean you always do… look beautiful that is…” Myrcella found his jumbled compliment the sweetest thing she’d ever heard, and deciding to put him out of his misery she grabbed his hand and said, “thank you, you look good too.”

They got to their table and waited for the arrival of Myrcella’s brother and mother. Forty five minutes later Tommen all but ran in to greet them.

“Happy Birthday! I am so sorry! Cruella didn’t like the look of the guy parking the car.”  Tommen explained though he didn’t have to, Myrcella had expected it.

“It’s no matter you’re here now!” And she introduced him to the rest of the table.

And there she was. Cersei Lannister, or Baratheon, though she never introduced herself as such. She was a beautiful woman, or would be if it wasn’t for the scowl she was sporting. She strode in looking at everything and everyone like they were beneath her.

“Mother! It’s good to see you.” Myrcella stood up to hug her mother. “Traffic was terrible, the people around here have no common sense.” Was all Cersei said, and gracefully she sat in her seat.

“And a happy birthday to my beautiful daughter.” Tommen prompted “Yes happy birthday.”

The whole table looked at Cersei in disbelief, was she really that cold to her daughter on her birthday? Even more shocking still, Myrcella seemed completely unfazed by the whole thing.

They looked at the menu and conversation had begun.

“So how does it feel to be a year older.” Jon asked. “Not much different really, though Ygritte said she saw a grey hair.” They all laughed “And what will you do with your twenty third year?” Bran asked eagerly. “Well…” Myrcella was about to answer but Cersei thought it time to speak up.

“Perhaps you’ll do something worthwhile with your time, get a decent flat and a good job.” “The flat is just temporary, and I have a good job.” She said assuringly. “Yes, a care assistant.” Cersei chuckled to herself.

This annoyed Robb.

Conversation was about to persevere through the thick atmosphere but Cersei wouldn’t allow it.

“You know Joffrey is doing very well for himself, under his grandfathers guidance. Found himself a pretty girl, Margaery I think it is, she’s a very intelligent girl.” “That’s good.” Myrcella said. “Put your mind to it you could end up as successful as your brother.”

“Because Joffrey is the ideal role model.” Tommen interjected, sending a reassuring smile to his sister. She was grateful he was here.

“Myrcella is great.” Jon said, a little too defensively. Robb agreed and said “she’s been a big help to me and my family, we’re very grateful for her.”

Cersei turned to Jon.

“Your Rhaegar’s boy, right?” “Yes.” “I see.” She said with a face that looked like she’d just bitten into a lemon; Jon had to physically restrain Ygritte.

“Mother please.” Myrcella begged, she could handle her mother’s criticism but she didn’t expect her friends to be subjected to it.

“Time for presents!” Bran called out, and Tommen rushed to get the gift bags.

Jon and Ygritte had gotten her tickets to go see Alyssa Edwards (her favourite drag queen) live and Tommen had bought her an orange jumper with foxes on it (when she said she could wear it to see Alyssa, Ygritte face palmed). Bran had bought her a copy of the Grimm brothers stories that she was desperate to start reading, and her mother got her a gym membership; the table went quiet when that gift was opened.

Lastly was Robb who handed her a beautifully wrapped box.

“You really didn’t have to.” She said as she opened it.

“Oh my goodness! Oh my goodness! I don’t believe it!!” She stood up out of her chair. “Myrcella your causing a scene!” Her mother scolded her but she didn’t care. In her hands was a genuine Gryffindor house scarf. The trim was in gold thread and had her name stitched into the bottom right corner.

“You remembered!” “How could I forget the greatest gift ever?” He chuckled

She put it on immediately and went over to hug him, careful not to put too much pressure on his right shoulder. This however was the wrong thing to do in front of her mother. While the others smiled at the way the hug lasted just a second too long, Cercei Lannister saw red.

“Well these gifts show you haven’t really changed much have you Myrcella?”

The pair stopped hugging and she turned to look at her mother.

Tommen was the first to speak, “Not today, please.”

“This is who you’ve been spending your time with?” She gestured to the people at the table. “You really haven’t grown up yet have you? Living in little Myrcella land, your so sweet darling.”

Please don’t do this here, Myrcella thought; she knew when one of her mother’s tirades were starting, and this was most certainly one of them.

“Your nothing like me when I was your age, or your father for that matter. We had drive, you need to get that Myrcella or you’ll be stuck doing nothing for the rest of your life…”

“I don’t do nothing…”

“And then you’ll be coming back for your trust fund.” She laughed

“Hey” Robb spoke up but before he could continue Myrcella did what she always did when pushed into a corner, she ran.

“Classic Cella.” Her mother scoffed.

Robb went after her and the rest decided it was time to leave. Ygritte approached the ice queen, she put her faces inches away from hers and said, “if you know what’s good for you, you’ll stay away.” She walked out before Cersei could respond but it was Jon’s turn, “And I won’t hold her back this time.”

Robb found her eventually, he wasn’t as fast as her but luckily she’d stopped to huddle at the entrance of an alley way.

“Myrcella?” “I’m sorry, I’m so sorry! I should never have put you all through that, it was so unfair of me!” “Put us through it? Myrcella why do you put yourself through it? Why did you let her talk to you that way?” “I don’t know.” She said hopelessly. “I don’t know, whenever I’m with her I go back to being this timid little girl. Which is ridiculous I’m a grown woman! Maybe I’ll never be as successful as Joffrey but I’m happy, surely she should be happy that I’m happy right? Your mother would be happy if you were happy, that’s how the whole mother thing works. And who the hell is Margaery? And why should I care if she’s clever? Lots of people are clever!”

She was rambling and Robb was worried she’d pass out. So he did the only thing he could do, the only thing he wanted to do.

He wove his fingers into the back of her hair with one hand and pulled her in close; and without time to question himself he kissed her.

It was slow but beautiful. She was startled at first but eventually her lips fell into a rhythm with his and she sighed into his lips.

They reluctantly broke apart only to rest their foreheads against each other.

“Finally.” Was all he said.

They both smiled into their next kiss, the worries of the night forgotten in their bliss.