#but look i have a lot of feelings about milah and bae and her feelings and regrets

[glowyjellyfish]

OUAT Rewatch Report Part 5: Lady of the Lake through The Doctor, plus Forget Me Not and The Serpent

1. Emma’s far from my favorite, but her feelings are really doing it for me this time. Seeing her walls go up, and how hard it is for her to adjust to having a mom who cares about her. And seeing her walls come down, too, seeing her vulnerable when she puts so much effort into making herself tough. And I enjoy watching her fumble around not knowing how to handle Fairy Tale Land but also needing to prove she can take care of herself. I don’t think I realized it before, but there is an entire theme of parental dynamics in this arc, isn’t there.

2. Henry’s a manipulative little sneak, isn’t he? He came by it honestly, considering his many relatives.

3. I definitely made a mistake in setting up a viewing order where I get New Robin Hood before I even see Old Robin Hood.

4. I love Will so much. I love the way he talks about himself and his past, and how he has clearly thought everything through very carefully and figured himself out. I’m totally convinced that he had therapy sometimes in Storybrooke. And probably got diagnosed with depression, because that’s what his heartlessness looks like. And I love the way he admits to feeling like a monster and going through dark times, even when he can’t really feel it without his heart.

5. It does sort of bug me that Maleficent is hyped up as super evil and dangerous, but in practice we mainly see her as losing to Regina, her BFF, and vaguely chiding a group that stole from her. And she was a dragon, and there’s been talk of what she did to Aurora, but she just comes off a little weak.

6. rumple is the first person on the show to discuss deaging anybody, which is interesting given future plots and revelations.

7. I love rumple but he is in fact an awfully horrifying person. Like, The Crocodile started out and Milah was callous towards him and Hook was a bully. He comes back with power, planning to murder Hook for taking (and, Rumple thinks, raping and killing) his wife. Milah comes out and tells him she’s alive and admits to lying to escape him, and he still has to be bartered with to stop murdering Hook (which was supposed to be revenge for Milah). It’s understandable that he’s still upset, but then when his ex wife is trying to honestly explain herself, he murders her—CLEARLY projecting his own issues with abandoning Bae. I sympathize with him, of course, knowing that in the present he’s more or less trying to be better, and usually directing his energy in a more productive direction, but like… I don’t think Hook’s wrong for wanting revenge.

8. I’m not a fan of how they chose to make their version of Hook. That man is NOT CAPTAIN HOOK, and I could just call him Killian and convince myself he’s not the real Hook but just some other pirate guy, but honestly the name Killian bugs me even more. But in practice, the character’s perfectly good as his own character. More than anything else, it’s just annoying that they either did minimal research or threw virtually everything out before slapping a couple of Captain Hook traits on a completely new pirate character. Other characters are either super recognizable as the most well-known version of the story, or were cardboard cutouts in the original leaving room for whatever. Idk, it’s fine just irritating.

9. ANYWAY I think from Hook’s perspective, he played the role of a giant bully to discourage Milah’s weak husband from coming after her, and to help her escape her boring life and loveless marriage. And then later, he was trying to shield her from an ex who suddenly turned up powerful and abusive. I don’t know if this was old meta I read or what, but I immediately concluded that he plays parts an awful lot, and am trying to compare this to what I saw in other pirate media (ie mainly Black Sails). I maintain OUAT Hook is a giant weenie compared to most other pirates in media, but I guess the whole point here is that he’s a big softie underneath his exterior, going for revenge because his heart was broken.

10. I love how Ruby automatically protects any and all women without batting an eye. Ladies helping ladies!

11. I forgot just how bad Bae’s abandonment issues should be. Jesus fucking Christ. First abandoned by his mother, then he slowly loses his father to the dark one curse and becomes a social pariah, then his father breaks a promise and abandons him to another entire world. I’ll have to update this litany of tragedy as I go forward and remember more details; I know he is briefly taken in by the Darlings and then goes to Neverland, and he then has a short period of doing Treasure Island with Hook before he figures out this guy’s the reason his mom abandoned him, and then he’s stuck in neverland for a long time before getting to the real world in more or less the present day. And of course he’s then coerced into leaving Emma, and abandons his own son without realizing it. Neal’s gonna have so many issues, I cannot WAIT.

12. I adore OUATW’s Jafar, who I like to call Hot Jafar. They did a wonderful job of giving him motivation that’s so complex and interesting I want it to be the backstory of every Jafar, and making him understandable without making him less ruthless and terrifying.

13. recently on regular ouat, Henry was chilling in Emma’s car, so I’m not sure my timeline even has a fixed point anymore. OUATW could even have started during The Doctor, which features a storm. And the two shows were not designed to be watched like this—maybe with s3. HOWEVER, there continue to be fascinating parallels popping up between the two shows when watching them like this. OUAT had The Crocodile, OUATW had The Serpent. OUATW had an episode about Jafar learning magic and how far he was willing to go, OUAT’s next episode was about Regina learning magic and being pushed to go farther than she wanted to.

14. ugh I love the Will/Ana dynamic so much. It’s so spicy and interesting compared with all regular OUAT relationships!

15. it occurs to me that it’s also just possible that Regina chose to bring Jefferson and Victor along in her curse because she thought they might be useful, and Jefferson maybe was just able to resist the amnesia of the curse because of his portal jumping abilities. She doesn’t seem to be particularly pissed off with either one of them, and she had zero qualms about asking Jefferson to help her. And they WERE both useful to her; aside from keeping an eye on David for her and keeping Henry alive when he had the sleeping curse, Whale was probably very helpful as she tried to raise a small child.

16. Victor literally thought her curse destroyed his world and he was the sole survivor. And found himself the sole survivor of a whole world, living in a community of refugees from another world that all know each other and follow the same rules and logic as each other, while he only knows them from the curse. I think it’s interesting he (apparently) didn’t try to talk to Jefferson or Rumple until after his science failed and he couldn’t get Regina to send him home. Probably he didn’t know Jefferson was there until after he heard about Charming talking to him, and Regina absolutely relied on Whale during the curse and she was still a nice, relatively innocent young woman when he knew her, so it’s not really surprising he thought he might be able to convince her to help him despite leading an angry mob to her like a couple days ago. And of course, he was both intimidated by Rumple and too proud of his own methods to admit to needing magic until he thoroughly failed, and presumably didn’t trust anybody from the magical fantasy world to perform decent surgery to reattach his arm. (…I tried writing so many fanfics about him back in the day and it sounds like I may need to try again) I still think there were some deliberate light Wizard of Oz hints sprinkled into The Doctor. Maybe we were just meant to be misled for this one episode, but I am still convinced that SOMEBODY in the writers’ room wanted to make Victor also be the Wizard of Oz. Not gonna lie, I had an entire theory about that and I am still positive it would have been better than the nonsense Oz plot we got.

I finally came up with a selection of gifs describing each (regular OUAT) episode in s2 so far! Next time I think I might do gifs for all OUATW so far, because I have an absolutely perfect gif for the next episode… but we’ll get there.

(…I want to find a good collection of gifs for Emma, especially something resembling the FACES she makes when confronted with magical nonsense, but haven’t had much luck so far)

[barbiegirldream]

Yeah the fact that Regina was a rapist and they pretended like killian was unforgivable because of the Mila situation made me so???? Bc I know DAMN well you would be all over that shit if they were two women. It really was a “fuck men” type beat so I think I’m forever soured from SwanQueen (also rape is the one crime I can’t forgive soooo)

I feel like for me it was only ‘forgivable’ (not really it makes the show hard to rewatch sometimes but) cause the writers just didn’t get it was Rape? Zelena also a rapist and that’s just totally glosses over. So it’s like we know what’s going on but the writers seem entirely unaware because the idea of a hot woman forcing themselves on them is hot as shit. Like they’re just thinking in their heads of some crazy sexual fantasy and not understanding the real world implications of what it is they’re doing.

When they had Regina take Graham’s heart they weren’t thinking oh this is his free will gone he literally can not say no to her even though he clearly would and wants to. They were just like hot dominating woman fucking hot guy. Plus in the minds of a male writer especially how could that be any worse than you know Regina killing the guy. Which she also did later do.

So it’s like a horrible thing but the show makes so little note of it you have to at some point realize they don’t even know what they did. They just have no clue how horrible they were truly making these characters. There was next to no line for any of them at any point.

But yeah it is literally batshit insane to look at Killian taking Milah from her loser husband who turns into a psycho anyways and say he’s anything like Regina. Like what for Bae?? Who cares about that guy. Captain Swan for life

Once Upon a Time did a lot of weird shit for no reason cause the writers just weren’t thinking about what all of it meant.

[queen-mabs-revenge]

“He got it from his mother.”

[emospritelet]

Desperation sequel for the wip ask game :)

I have about 2.5k of this. It's set later in the year of the original fic. Belle and Gold and Bae are very happy in their little house when, after having disappeared for 5 years, Milah turns up. Have a snippet:

“Milah,” he said levelly. “It’s been a while.”

She looked a little irritated.

“You don’t seem surprised to see me.”

“Belle called me.” To warn me.

“Oh.” She shrugged. “What is she, the babysitter?”

“No.” He ran a hand through his hair and reached for his cane, pushing to his feet. “She’s my partner.”

“Your partner?” She looked incredulous, and let out a tinkling laugh. “Well. Congratulations. You’re punching well above your weight, it seems. There again I don’t suppose there’s an awful lot for a girl to choose from here in Boringbrooke.”

“What do you want?” he asked coolly, and she rolled her eyes.

“To see Baeden, of course.”

“Of course,” he said, his tone flat. “Because you’ve gone out of your way to see him in the past. Surprised you can remember what he looks like. DId he remember you?”

She sniffed.

“He pretended not to recognise me,” she said. “Hiding behind that woman’s legs like he was scared of me. I suppose you taught him that.”

Gold could feel his anger growing, the bitterness over her abandoning Bae welling up and spilling over.

“Why are you really here?” he demanded.

“I’m his mother!”

“Aye, when it suits you,” he said. “Where the hell have you been?”

[hookedonapirate]

Feels Like Home

A/N: So a few things before you start this chapter: One is, though I decided I wasn't killing off any children in this story like the movie does, this fic still talks about child death and covers some uneasy topics. This chapter in particular gets very descriptive with the embalming process. It's not like the movie where Dan Aykroyd is seen with a scalpel in his hand and that's about all it shows.

I did a ton of research for this fic, and while I was researching, I stumbled upon the real life Vada Sultenfuss, Eileen Hollis, who was raised in a funeral home and has a TikTok account that revolves around her life as a funeral director. So I also watched some of her videos for reference. I tried to be as accurate as possible, but I'm not a mortician or funeral director, so my knowledge on this subject is limited. My husband used to transport dead bodies to funeral homes, but that was several years ago and at the time I really tried not to pay attention to a lot of the details.

Anyway, I got a little carried away with the details in this chapter, and I know it may not be everyone's cup of tea, but if I had to recommend skipping a section, it would be the first part of the chapter before the section break, where it switches to Emma's POV.

Thanks for reading and for all the support and feedback so far! 🥰 A shout out to @hollyethecurious for helping me brainstorm and for the name, Beatrice. I was trying to think of a good name for Killian and Milah's daughter, and she pointed out it could be a female spin on Bae. Also, a huge thank you to @ultraluckycatnd and @snowbellewells for beta reading! This title comes from the song by Chantal Kreviazuk—Feels Like Home. I was trying to think of a good title for this story, and I usually listen to songs or look at lyrics for inspiration, so when I listened to this song, it just immediately clicked, and I had to use this title. If you ask me, this song should be Emma's theme song; it just fits her so perfectly It's also fitting for this fic because funeral homes are normally associated with death and sadness and grief, but in this story, Emma quickly associates this particular funeral home with a new beginning and hope and friendship and eventually love and of course, home. Rated: Mature

Also available on: AO3 FF.N

Catch up: Ch 1

Chapter 2

FULL NAME: Marco Geppetto Booth

DATE OF DEATH: June 1st, 2021

CAUSE OF DEATH: Cancer of the prostate

Killian pulls on a paper gown, tying it around his waist before donning a face mask, goggles and a scrub cap. He snaps on a pair of gloves, his boots clunking across the floor as he approaches his newest guest, as he likes to call them.

“Hello, Mr. Booth. Not to worry, I’ll take excellent care of you.”

To Killian, the dead are to be treated just as well as they should’ve been treated when they were alive. He likes to treat his guests as if he were having them over for coffee or dinner—and yes, that means sometimes he talks to them.

“It’s a great day to build something,” Killian says as he begins washing Mr. Booth with a disinfectant solution. His woodshop teacher would start every class with that line. And just as carpentry is an art and skill, so is embalming the dead. Killian likes to think of each body he works on as his own personal canvas, and the viewing room is where he will eventually display his artwork.

Some people say it takes a certain kind of person to be an undertaker. It takes a certain type of person to look death in the face and not tear up, be weirded out or get emotional. But for Killian, death has been his life for as long as he can remember. And it’s not as if he doesn’t feel any type of remorse or emotion for his guests; he’s just gotten good at hiding it. He’s embalmed and prepared more bodies than he can remember, and after a while, they all started to blur together, so he’s gotten good at doing his job without letting his feelings get in the way.

The embalming process itself isn’t extremely complicated. That’s not to say it can’t be tedious or difficult or thankless at times, but there are very few steps when dealing with a relatively normal corpse, like the ones who’ve died of natural causes. Those are simple and routine, and he’s usually able to let everything else fade into the background while he works.

The only time he’s ever let his guard down while working on the deceased was when the body was of a young girl around his daughter’s age at the time. Sadly, he’s had to take care of babies and children who’ve died of some type of illness or medical condition or were involved in a car accident or had a fatal allergic reaction, but very, very rarely does he get a child who was a victim of murder. Those he never handles very well. This particular child had been assaulted and her body was littered with marks and bruises. He had broken down into tears and felt an unbearable amount of rage inside him—something he rarely feels. He almost couldn’t go through with the embalming, but he’d forced himself to for her parents’ sake, because they already had enough to deal with; they didn’t need him adding to their pain and suffering.

Killian had wanted to find the person who had done this atrocity and murder him with his bare hands. Thank the Gods above, Graham is fairly good at what he does and was able to track down the murderer and arrest him. The man received a life sentence and can never harm another child ever again. Though in Killian’s opinion, he deserves so much worse. Killian has never been a violent person, but when it comes to his own daughter, he would do unthinkable acts to anyone who dared to bring harm to her.

Luckily, the victim’s face had been untouched, and he was able to make her look as presentable as possible to her family and friends. It was bad enough the parents had lost their child, so to not have been able to see her one last time and say their final goodbyes would’ve been even more devastating for them. Wounds and autopsy scars from the neck down can be covered up by clothing, but facial injuries are more difficult to make palatable. If the corpse is too unsightly, he and Liam recommend a closed casket service.

After washing the body, Killian positions Marco’s arms across the man’s abdomen and massages the limbs to relieve rigor mortis, which makes the body less stiff. His entire job is to make his guests appear as lifelike and peaceful as possible to allow the family and friends to remember their loved ones as they were when they were alive. Killian didn’t know Mr. Booth very well, but he has a lot of fond memories of him as his teacher in woodshop class. And Killian went to school with Marco’s son, August, who was known as a troublemaker and never liked to show up to class. After he got his GED, he left his father to travel the world, only thinking of himself. He never even knew his father had cancer until Marco was on his deathbed. But thankfully, he returned to Storybrooke to see that his father had a proper funeral. Killian had received the phone call early this morning and retrieved the body from Storybrooke General Hospital. Liam had performed the intake paperwork and consulted with August about his wishes for his father.

Killian shaves the areas that will need an incision, inserts eye caps to keep the eyelids closed, stuffs the nose with cotton and wires Mr. Booth’s jaw shut. The man was extremely kind and pleasant and always had a friendly smile on his face, which is evident in the lines around his lips and eyes. Since there will be an open casket funeral, Killian consults the photo on his instrument table for reference and makes sure to arrange a pleasant and mild expression on Marco’s face, a small smile playing upon the dead man’s lips, which Killian glues shut. Mr. Booth now looks like he’s sleeping peacefully and hasn’t just died of prostate cancer.

It used to surprise him that the dead could appear so lifelike after an embalming. He’d forget he was in the presence of the dead until he touched their clammy, pallid skin. And after many years of being an undertaker, the line between the living and dead became blurred. If his father had taught him anything, it’s that the dead are just as important as the living. Brennan used to tell Killian how important it was to understand the person on the embalming table. To try and understand what they went through, even if they were a bad person when they were alive. Even the bad people had loved ones.

He admits his work is a little sloppier if his guest used to be a criminal, but he still treats them with respect and tries to understand why they did what they did. It’s more difficult to show compassion toward the grumpy town drunk who spent most of his life in jail and hating everyone than it is to show compassion toward a kind, elderly man who served his country, gave back to his community and worked hard his entire life. But every person has their own story, their own childhood and experiences that helped mold and shape them into the person they became. So the best way to show someone compassion is to first understand them.

Killian mixes chemicals in his embalming tank and makes an incision near Marco’s collarbone, allowing access to the carotid artery and the jugular vein. He inserts forceps into the jugular vein and injects the embalming fluid into the carotid artery through a tube connected to the tank, which pushes the formaldehyde through the arteries as blood is pushed out through the jugular vein. The lanolin base he’d added to the fluid will keep Marco’s skin moisturized and firm the tissue, replacing the ashen with a pink color for a more lifelike appearance. After the arteries are embalmed, next is the body cavity, where he inserts a trocar to drain the gas and excess fluids.

After he embalms and preserves a body, it’s also his job to wash and groom the hair and apply makeup, and he takes great pride in the work he does to prepare his guests for their final resting place. So when Liam not only mentioned hiring a beautician but also put an ad in the paper without discussing it with Killian, it was a blow to the gut. He doesn’t need anyone’s assistance to put makeup on a guest—never has; he’s perfectly capable of doing it himself.

But luckily, Liam had the ad pulled from the paper.

~*~

Emma’s eyes widen as she pulls up in front of the large Victorian home. She didn’t know what she was expecting exactly; she only spoke briefly with Mr. Jones over the phone to set up an interview when she saw the ad for the beautician job in the paper after deciding to stay in Storybrooke. She gave up her son ten years ago when she was in jail and homeless and definitely not ready or able to raise a child; but after Henry knocked on her door, she took him home.

She’d intended to leave after a not-so-pleasant meeting with Henry’s adoptive mother, but it seemed like Henry needed her, and she’s already turned her back on him once; she didn’t have the heart to do it again. So she let her landlord know, paid the rent and utilities she owed and quit her job. Problem is, she doesn’t have a place to park her camper. Before she came here, she was renting property in Boston so she could live legally in her camper. But now, she doesn’t have that luxury. And she can’t just get rid of it; this camper is the only thing Neal left her with and it’s the only home she’s had in a very long time. So once she finds a job, she’ll find an RV park to set up camp in while trying to find a more permanent place to live.

After one final check in the mirror, she fixes her hair for the millionth time and grabs her portfolio binder. She hops out of her camper and makes her way down the walkway, taking in her surroundings. It’s a beautiful house, but the sign inscribed with the name of the business, Jones’ Parlor, irks her a bit because it looks like a tombstone.

She doesn’t understand why the owner chose a tombstone for the sign of a hair salon, but right now, she can’t be picky. It’s a small town and there are not a lot of beautician jobs in Storybrooke. In fact, this was the only one that had an opening. She sashays up the sweeping porch steps and stands at the front door, taking a deep breath before ringing the doorbell.

The door cracks open a few seconds later, and Emma lowers her gaze, a young girl appearing in the doorway.

She’s probably the most beautiful young lady Emma’s ever seen before. She looks to be around her son’s age, maybe ten or eleven, and she has big, sparkling blue eyes and long, dark, shimmering hair.

Emma plasters on a big grin. “Hi. Is Mr. Jones here?”

The young girl nods, a small smile curving her lips as she steps back, opening the door to let Emma in. “Sure. Come on in.”

~*~

When Killian is finished with the surgical part of the embalming process, he sews up the incisions and holes he’d made. He’s almost done washing the body once more when he hears the door at the top of the stairs creak open.

“Papa, there’s someone here!” his daughter calls from the top of the stairs.

The embalming room is a sacred place, and Beatrice knows she’s not allowed in the basement while he’s working unless it’s an emergency. Even if she were allowed down here, the basement creeps her out anyway, especially when there’s a guest.

“Be right there, Birdie!” He dries the body with towels and discards his protective clothing before switching to his dress shoes and grabbing his suit jacket. He has no idea who could be at the door, most likely a client, but he always makes sure to look professional when people come over. He makes his way upstairs and follows the sound of his daughter’s voice, who’s talking about his former high school teacher’s prostate cancer, which she must have heard from Liam.

He pulls on his jacket and enters the arrangement room where his brother usually holds his conferences with the bereaved to discuss services and financial details. “How may I…” his words hang in the air when he looks up and sees a gorgeous woman standing up from the chair upon seeing him, “help you?” he finally finishes when finding the words again.

Bloody hell.

Long, golden blonde hair, glittering green eyes and glossy pink lips curved into a big, beaming smile, revealing her pearly whites. She’s all dolled up and wearing black, knee-high boots, a blue scarf around her neck and some kind of matching blue sweater dress with bell sleeves like she just stepped out of the seventies. But he’s not complaining.

“Hi, I’m Emma Swan.” When she shakes his hand, her grip is firm, her movements are assertive and she’s looking him directly in the eyes. She doesn’t seem the least bit disheartened, nor is she either crying or on the brink of tears like their usual clientele.

He’s still awestruck by how beautiful she is as he feels her warm palm in his, his heart speeding up a little. He breaks eye contact with her, hoping she can’t see how entranced he is, and that’s when he spots the swan pendant hanging from her neck, underneath her scarf. It matches her last name.

Emma Swan.

Wait. Why does her name sound so familiar?

“I’m…” Again he forgets how to speak, and when she releases his hand, he immediately feels the loss of her warmth.

“I know, you’re Mr. Jones.”

Before he can respond, his daughter chimes in. “Wait, you’re Henry’s mother?” she asks, coming up from behind Emma and standing next to him.

Ah, that’s where he’s heard that name.

Killian looks at his daughter. “Birdie, why don’t you go ride your bike or go up to your room while I chat with Miss Swan.”

“It’s fine,” Emma assures with a wave of her hand as she looks at Beatrice. “I am his mother. You know Henry?”

Beatrice nods. “He’s my friend.”

A crease appears on Emma’s forehead. “You’re Beatrice?”

“That’s right.” In the same second Beatrice’s eyes light up, her brows knit together. “How did you know?”

“Because he told me he only has one friend.”

Beatrice’s face clouds over with sadness. Killian knows more than anyone how much his daughter wishes Henry had more friends, but Henry mostly keeps to himself because kids at school never want to come over to his house since his mother is the mayor and very strict. Beatrice has always made friends easily, but her friends never want to come over because...well, because the thought of having a slumber party at a funeral home creeps them out. And Henry never minds coming over, nor does Beatrice mind going over to his place, so that, among other things, makes them good for each other.

Beatrice sticks her hand out to Emma. “It’s nice to meet you, Miss Swan.”

Emma beams as she shakes her hand. “Please, call me Emma. And it’s nice to meet you, too, Beatrice. Henry tells me you’re a good friend to him.”

His daughter grins from ear to ear. “He’s a good friend, too.”

Releasing her hand, Emma looks up at Killian. “You’ve raised a very nice young lady.”

Killian grins proudly as he looks at his daughter. “Thank you, I think so, too.” He bends down, dropping a kiss to the top of his daughter’s head.

She scowls at him. “Paa-paa, not in front of people.”

He chuckles and runs a hand through her hair as she wraps her arms around his waist and leans her head on his side. “Sorry, Birdie.” He looks up at Emma again, scratching behind his ear. “So, uh, what can I do for you, Miss Swan?”

Emma’s face falls, and she appears to be a bit offended. “Oh, uh, we spoke over the phone yesterday about the beautician job.”

He smiles and nods, about to respond, but then confusion crashes over him.

Beautician job?

His smile fades, his face paling. “Beautician job?” He remembers his brother mentioning something about a beautician job yesterday morning, but Liam told him he was pulling the job ad from the paper. Killian shakes his head. “Sorry, lass, you must’ve spoken with my brother. Liam Jones.”

Emma’s eyes widen at her mistake. “Oh. Sorry, I wasn’t aware there were two of you...I mean two Mr. Jones’.” She looks around, her brows furrowed. “So, is he here? I really need this job.”

Anger spirals through him at his brother’s insistence they need a beautician. Liam told him he was canceling the job opening, then went behind his back and scheduled an interview with Henry’s mum.

“He’s not here at the moment.”

Her face clouds over with disappointment, and to his surprise, it makes his heart clench. But why does he care if she’s disappointed? He’s perfectly capable of doing the hair and makeup of his guests.

Killian peers down at his daughter, who’s giving him that look she always gives him when she’s silently pleading with him with her big blue eyes. It gets him every time. He thinks about what Liam had told him, about taking some of the load off his shoulders, and he thinks about how much more time he could spend with his daughter if he didn’t have to work as much.

Emma shakes her head, her eyes full of apology. “I must’ve mixed up the times or dates or something. I’m sorry to have bothered you, Mr. Jones.” As she leaves the room, Beatrice lifts her brows and tilts her head toward the woman, silently coaxing him to stop her.

Killian drags a hand over his face, sighing deeply into his palm. He might regret this, but then again, maybe he won’t. Maybe Liam’s right. Maybe it’ll be handy to have her around. Killian hears the front door open and immediately drops his hand as he follows her. “Wait, lass...”

She stops and turns around, a bit of hope flaring in her eyes. “Yes?”

He slides his hands into his pockets. “I can interview you for the job...if you want.”

Emma’s eyes light up and a smile once again overtakes her beautiful face. “Really?”

He nods. “Aye, I’m working on a guest right now, but I have a few moments to spare. Liam must have forgotten to mention you were coming. My brother’s a bit of a git sometimes.” He regrets making that comment as soon as the words come out of his mouth, because he knows Beatrice will tell her uncle what he said. “He’d forget his own head if it weren’t attached,” Killian says, throwing Liam under the bus. He knows his brother set him up on purpose. Liam left, knowing Emma would be here because he wanted Killian to meet her himself. Liam knows she’s Henry’s mother and knows Killian doesn’t have the heart to turn her away. Or at least Liam thinks.

“Oh, thank you so much, Mr. Jones,” she exclaims appreciatively and shuts the door, walking over to him. She reaches into the large, pink binder in her hands and pulls out a resume, handing it to him. “I earned my cosmetology license from Paul Mitchell Schools and worked five years at the Viselli Salon in Boston.”

Killian scans the resume over, seeing the different places she’s worked at, but none of them includes working on the deceased. All of her clients had heartbeats. And this will be his reasoning when he tells Liam why he didn’t give her the job. “Uh, Miss Swan…” He lifts his eyes from her resume.

“Please, call me Emma. And don’t worry, I have a sunny disposition. I put people right at ease.”

Killian would’ve thought she was joking if not for how sincere she seems to be, which means only one thing—Liam failed to mention this was a funeral home. “With all due respect, Emma, the clients here are already at ease. This is not a beauty parlor. It’s a funeral parlor.”

Emma gapes at him in surprise. “They’re dead?”

“Aye.”

“Stiffs?”

His face sours at the flippant term. “Deceased.”

“The ad just said beautician.”

“As I said, my brother can be a git sometimes.”

“Well, I guess that explains the tombstone you have as a business sign. I thought it was a bit morbid for a hair salon.”

He shrugs. “That would be morbid, but luckily, this is a funeral home, not a hair salon.” He walks toward the door, pulling it open for her. “Sorry to have wasted your time.” And his. He’ll admit she’s beautiful and he can see she was right—she does have a sunny disposition—and he’ll hate to see her go, but his guests are his number one priority when it comes to his work. So, he can’t risk having someone who’s not qualified to do the job correctly. He can’t hire someone simply based on the fact he finds her unbelievably attractive.

“I don’t mind.”

Killian’s eyes snap to hers, his brow arching in surprise. “You still want it, even though...”

She waves a hand. “Yes, it’s fine. I’m okay with my clients not having a heartbeat. It may take some time to get used to it but—”

He lets out a silent sigh and shuts the door before turning around. Beatrice is now standing on the first step of the walnut staircase, leaning against the newel post of the balustrade, appearing to be intrigued by Miss Swan. It’s been a while since they’ve hired anyone, so having someone like her would be a refreshing change of pace.

Killian walks over to Emma, looking her dead in the eyes. “Listen, Miss Swan, applying makeup on a deceased person is much different than what you did at Viselli’s. This isn’t like glamorizing people before they go to a party; this is making a deceased person look like they did when they were alive so their loved ones can say their final goodbyes without having to see the reminders of what took them from this life. The cosmetics I use on the deceased aren’t the kinds you buy at Walgreens, which react to warm skin; they’re special cosmetics to make the faces look natural and lifelike and to cover up trauma like bruises, wounds or disfigurements. You’ll also be using wax, clay or plaster of Paris to reconstruct the faces when needed. And you’d be answering the phone.”

Emma doesn’t even flinch at his explanation. “No problem. I can handle all of that.”

He’s not convinced she realizes how different working on a dead person is compared to someone who’s alive, but he has a feeling she’ll find out very quickly and will most likely run out the door screaming. “Alright then, you can start right away.” He throws on a grin, hoping she’ll think twice about the job once she starts.

“You got it, Mr. Jones.”

“Call me, Killian.” Letting his eyes roam up and down her body, he wonders if she plans on dressing in attire similar to what she’s currently wearing to work every day. “Now uh,” he gestures at her clothing, “is this what you’d normally wear for work, or...?”

Her brows furrow as she glances down at herself and reverts her eyes to his, shrugging. “What’s wrong with what I’m wearing?”

“Nothing,” he replies quickly, clearing the frog from his throat. “You look uh…” he closes his mouth, thinking it’s probably not a good idea to tell his new employee how sexy she looks or how much he really likes her outfit. “It’s just uh…” He scratches behind his ear, failing to cobble together a sentence that won’t get him in trouble.

Meanwhile, she’s still staring at him in confusion, her brows furrowed. “Why does it matter how I dress? My clients won’t care what I’m wearing. They’re dead.”

“Yes, but…”

“Look, Killian, I promise I’ll take good care of these people. They deserve it. All they’ve got left is their looks.”

He glances at his daughter, who has both brows raised toward her forehead as she gives him one of her looks. One that says the lady’s not wrong about that.

“Alright, let me show you where you’ll be working.”

Emma grins as he hands her back the resume, and she tucks it inside her binder.

Killian leads her downstairs to the basement where he explains the entire embalming process so she has an understanding of what’s involved in preserving and preparing a body for a funeral.

He thought for sure by this point, she would run back upstairs and flee out of the funeral home, but she doesn’t seem at all off put or spooked by the dead body lying on the porcelain table in front of her. Instead, she casts her gaze over the lifeless corpse and seems intrigued by the entire process, asking lots of questions and greeting Marco like he’s alive and well. “Hello, Marco. Not to worry, I’ll be taking good care of you today,” she says, casting her gaze over his lifeless body. “So, this was your teacher?”

Killian nods. “Aye, he taught me how to make a birdfeeder. Which I still have, by the way.” He grabs two black bib aprons from the coat rack, handing her one. “Here, you’ll want this, so you don’t ruin your lovely dress.”

“Thanks.” She takes it with an appreciative smile and pulls it over her head, tying the strings around her and removing her scarf, which he takes and hangs on the coat rack as she pulls her hair into a ponytail. “And thank you for giving me this opportunity, Killian.”

He gives her a small smile, and after they wash their hands and pull on gloves, he moves Mr. Booth to the dressing table and grabs the suit August had brought for his father. He shows Emma the specific techniques he uses for dressing the body, since putting clothes on an ungiving corpse is a bit more challenging than applying makeup, and requires lifting and rolling the body from side to side.

When Killian’s finished dressing him, with Emma’s assistance, he smooths out Mr. Booth’s suit jacket and once again crosses the hands over the abdomen. He picks up Marco’s photo and hands it to her. “This is a recent picture of him. His son wants the beard kept the way it is because that’s how Marco always wore it.”

Emma nods in understanding as she studies the photo.

Killian gathers the cosmetics and supplies she’ll need from his drawers, setting everything up on the instrument table. “I’ll let you get to work.”

He sits off to the side and reads a book, observing her occasionally as she works carefully and meticulously, her features etched with concentration as she uses clippers on Marco's nails and then cleans up his brows with a pair of tweezers.

Killian can’t help but notice how high her cheekbones are, or how soft and smooth her skin looks; his fingers itch to stroke her face and feel her warmth underneath his fingertips, which is not a thought he should be having in the embalming room. Or about his employee.

He shakes away his musings and focuses on his book.

As though her client is alive, she explains the entire process to Marco and her reasons for using each product as she applies them, testing the makeup on her black-gloved hand before using it on Marco’s skin. “This will take away these pesky blemishes,” she tells him as she covers them with a concealer.

Killian has to admit, she’s much better at this than he originally thought she’d be. She treats Marco like he’s her grandfather, speaking to him with respect and compassion, probably just like she would speak to a client at Viselli’s. He also has to admit, he admires her for wanting to be in her son’s life. Moving to Storybrooke and finding a new job and a place to live must not be easy. She’s taking on a lot of new responsibilities all at once.

He’s still not entirely convinced he needs her help, but the woman has moxie; he’ll give her that.

After a while, Killian stands up and studies her work.

“I’ve added shadows to give him a more natural look,” she explains, using a brush to add some natural color to Mr. Booth’s eyelids.

He’s a bit surprised by her work. Not only does Marco look like he did when he was alive, but he looks better than he did, which is not always easy to accomplish on a dead person. “Impressive, love. For your first dead body,” he teases with a smirk. “You never forget your first.”

She waves a hand and smiles. “It was nothing. Dead people are actually much easier to work on than the living. They don’t move around or scratch their nose or ruin their makeup.” She lifts her eyes from the task at hand, her eyes dancing with curiosity. “When was your first time working on a body?”

“It was in my Gross Anatomy class at mortuary school. We learned about anatomy through a cadaver.” Killian smiles a little at the fond memories of that class. “I got to hold a brain in my hands.”

Emma’s eyes widen with fascination. “Really? What was it like? Was it weird?” she asks curiously. Most people get squicked out when Killian talks about his time in mortuary school. But not this woman, apparently.

“Aye, it was very weird…” he chuckles softly, “but also very cool to hold something that once held someone’s thoughts and memories.”

“What did it feel like in your hands?”

“It was kind of like holding Jell-O. Soft and squishy, and it was so fragile, I was afraid I’d drop it.”

“Wow.” She grins and reverts her attention to Marco. “I think I may have chosen the wrong profession.”

Killian arches a brow. “Why do you say that?”

She looks up at him in shock, as though not understanding why he would even have to ask. “Because...you got to hold an actual brain in your hands. The highlight of beauty school for me was switching from a mannequin to a real person.” She flourishes her hands, gesturing around the room. “Plus, you have the dream job. You get to talk to people without having them talk back or be rude or tell you how to do your job.”

Killian furrows his brows. “You think this is the dream job? For one thing, I’m always on call, Emma. Death never takes a break. I get calls at three in the morning and have to get up and drive across town to pick up a body. And my guests may not be able to tell me how to do my job, but their family tells me whether they think I did their dead loved one justice or not. If they hate the results, it only adds to their pain and suffering. It’s a lot of pressure. Not to mention, your worst day at work was probably when you had a rude client. My worst day was when I had to work on an eight-year-old girl who was murdered and sexually assaulted and was the exact same age as my daughter at the time,” he exclaims, his voice cracking and much louder and harsher than he intended. “I would’ve much rather have been yelled at by a fussy client that day, believe me.”

Emma’s eyes cloud over with sadness and regret. “I’m sorry, I didn’t mean your job was glamorous, or easy...not at all.”

Killian squeezes his eyes shut briefly and lets out a deep sigh, lowering his voice as he speaks. “It’s just that, not everyone can do this job. Not everyone wants this job. But I do it for my guests. I do it to give them the treatment and respect they deserve after everything they’ve been through. I do it for their loved ones. And don’t get me wrong, I love my job most days, but other days...sometimes I’d rather be doing anything else.”

Emma nods in understanding. “I can imagine.” Silence fills the room as she applies blotting powder across Marco’s face and over his neck and hands, being careful not to get any makeup on his suit. After she’s done, she sets the brush down, admiring her work, thoughtful expression on her face. “Do you ever wonder if people look like this in the afterlife?”

He arches a brow at her as he goes around to the other side of the table and helps her gather the supplies. “Like what?”

“Like their best self?”

Killian furrows his brows in confusion. “You think this is Marco at his best? He died of prostate cancer.”

“Well, yes, but I mean their best self when they were alive and healthy, but without all their wrinkles and blemishes and flaws showing?”

“I don’t know. I try not to think about the afterlife,” he mutters glumly.

“But don’t you think the families do? Like where their loved one will go after they die? Do you realize how important your job is, Killian?”

“Of course I do...but in the end, the body is still just an empty shell. The soul is gone. The embalming process is only important for the bereaved because it helps give them closure.”

“But don’t you think it also gives them an image of what their loved one looks like enjoying their next journey?”

Killian thinks about it for a moment as they scrub the brushes and instruments. “I guess I never thought of it like that.” Not wanting to dwell on the subject, he explains to Emma how important it is to wash and disinfect every single instrument after each use on a corpse to prevent clostridium perfringens from being passed from one body to another. And how these bacteria can be harmless when ingested by a living person but will speed up decomposition in a dead person and cannot be stopped by formaldehyde. His explanation seems to be daunting to Emma, but as soon as he says clostridium perfringens also cause skin peeling, she immediately understands.

Once they’ve scrubbed the instruments and brushes, they let them soak in a strong disinfectant. After he removes his protective clothing and washes his hands, Emma does the same and takes her turn at the sink. As he dries his hands with a paper towel, he looks over, catching her glance at the wedding ring he still wears.

“Where’s Mrs. Jones?” she asks curiously.

Killian’s face saddens as he peels his eyes from Emma’s. He doesn’t reply with words, but his expression says it all.

Apology clouds over her face. “What happened, if you don’t mind me asking?”

“Actually, yes, I do mind,” he answers sharply, not wishing to talk about it.

Emma looks down in shame. “I’m sorry.”

“It’s fine.” He throws the paper towel in the trash. “That’s enough for today. Come back tomorrow at 9 a.m. sharp.”

“I’ll be here.”

There’s an awkward silence in the room, and after Emma gathers her belongings, Killian follows her upstairs and escorts her to the door, opening it for her. “See you tomorrow morning.”

She nods, offering a faint smile. “Goodbye, Killian.”

After she leaves, he closes the door behind her and goes over to the window, peeling back the curtain. As he watches Emma get into her RV, he feels like a complete jackass for turning so cold on her when she asked about his wife. But he’s not used to working with people who are able to talk his ears off. He’s used to peace and quiet or sometimes music as he works. And after eleven years, he’s no longer used to people asking about his wife.

This is one of the many reasons he didn’t want to hire Emma, or anyone for that matter, in the first place.

The sound of someone padding down the steps breaks him from his reverie.

He turns around, seeing his daughter sashaying down the staircase.

She must sense the sadness in his eyes because concern clouds over her face. “What is it, Papa?”

“Nothing, Birdie.” He smiles and kisses her forehead when she reaches the bottom of the stairs. “Where’s your Uncle Liam?”

She shrugs. “Not sure. Why?”

“Because I’m going to murder him as soon as he gets home.”

Tagging: @onceuponaprincessworld @teamhook @kmomof4 @hollyethecurious @searchingwardrobes @gingerchangeling @ultraluckycatnd @melly326 @snowbellewells @tiganasummertree @ilovemesomekillianjones @jonesfandomfanatic @captainswan-shipper88 @julesep3026 @wyntereyez @lfh1226-linda @dreamingdreamsalways

Let me know if you would like to be added or removed :)

[treatian]

The Chronicles of the Dark One: Magical Loopholes

Chapter 45:  Naked Truth

He could see why some men were better with sex than without. He'd never really experienced good sex in his life before Belle, to compare himself to or help determine whether he was better with or without it. Now he did. After having it at his fingertips with her for weeks, and not going for more than a week without, tonight had finally given him a fair and accurate comparison of himself with and without sex and his own conclusion…he was better with it.

He'd been so tense, so wound up. Everything in him for the last week had been work, move, search, go, do! If he wasn't working on something constantly then he was antsy and fidgety, cranky even. And now, here, finally, he felt no urge from his body to get up, no instinct to move from this spot where they lay in her bed, holding each other. Initially, he'd felt he had to get up and go, grant her the privacy she'd made it clear she wanted when she left. But then she'd kissed him, and settled in beside him as she always had before she'd gone, and he'd been so swept up in the familiar motions of moving a hand over her that he couldn't bring himself to move. And now…

He was so damn relaxed! Like every care and every worry he'd had in this week had just floated away and left the pair of them alone for the evening. He didn't care if he went home or not tonight. She was home. Wherever she was, he was supposed to be. And it felt right. For the first time in his long damn life, it all felt right. Even if he didn't know what "it" was.

What the hell had happened tonight? Between them? Desperation, obviously. Perhaps lots and lots of desperation from two people who were meant to be together but had been denied for so long. The sex had been fast, and desperate, and insistent and so far from their usual bouts of lovemaking, it almost left him feeling ashamed that he'd popped so fast. But she'd been the same way. That was what told him it was both their fault.

He could tell himself that he was waiting for her, that she'd wanted space and he'd sought to give it to her from a distance, but looking back he could see the lifesaver she'd thrown him that day when he'd told her about Bae, the invitation to ask her for a hamburger. He could name a dozen times in the last week he could have done just that. But he hadn't. He'd kept his distance. She hadn't initiated anything. But he hadn't either. And the result was tonight. Two people, madly in love with each other, and unable to court because they just couldn't stay away. Not that he thought it was a bad thing from where he stood…or lay.

He loved this, had missed it far more than he'd ever imagined or admitted even to himself. There was something so beautifully simple about it; laying naked in bed with her pressed up against his side, body spent, muscles relaxed. Her thumb kept making idle strokes where it rested over his ribs, letting him know that she was still awake. It moved in time to his breath as if she were trying to comfort him. It was lovely, no matter how wrong it was. She was the one who had been attacked, chained up, and locked in her own library by a werewolf she considered a friend. Even if she didn't insist that Ruby had done it to protect her, she should be the one in need of comfort from him right now, not the other way around.

He didn't deserve little motions like that thumb, didn't deserve to be here. She'd agree if she only knew what he'd already done, what he was already plotting.

He hadn't lied to her, but he certainly hadn't obeyed her wishes either. When they'd been icing her wrist he'd pushed magic into her, healing magic, just a little. It wasn't enough to make the injury go away, she would have noticed that. No, he applied just enough to take the edge off it, to make it a bit more comfortable. And when she was asleep tonight, he was already planning on doing it again. He wasn't going to heal it, not the entire way. His goal was only to speed up the healing process so that she was better within a day or so and the bruises wouldn't bother her as much. Doing it slowly meant that she wouldn't notice that he had done it and she'd be feeling better faster. There was no downside, just like when he'd done it with Baelfire all those years ago.

He smirked thinking back on that memory, of the way he'd insisted a bandage would be fine for his injuries and told him not to use his magic just as she'd insisted ice would be a better alternative than a healed wrist. They were so much alike, his son and his Belle. When he found him and brought him back here, he could only imagine the hell the two would raise if Bae gave her a chance and they got along.

There were a lot of "if's" in that assumption. If Bae could give the woman he loved a chance, if they got along, if he found him…if he brought him back. He hadn't located him yet. He didn't know what he was going out into the world to find. Would his son be a boy of fourteen as he remembered him? Or would he be old, wheelchair-bound, decrepit? He would take care of him either way, but…an old fear floated to the surface of his mind, an image he'd once crafted and quickly dismissed after acquiring the Seer's gift. It was an image of a grave. He held Belle closer on instinct, focused on the movement of her thumb, and tried to banish that image. Bae may be old when he met him, but he wouldn't be dead. The Seer had promised he'd see him again. He had to hold onto that, just as he found himself clinging to the woman gently stroking his side.

Because he needed this. He needed more moments like this. He needed her in his life. Just as he needed Baelfire. Why couldn't she have been born centuries ago? Why did he have to go through all of this before he'd found her? What if she'd been in that village? If she'd married him, if Baelfire was their son? It certainly would have made more sense than he and Milah. Bae reminded him so much more of Belle than of his wife or even himself.

"I think you would have liked him…" he mused to himself, only to realize, too late, the words had come out before he'd given them permission. He swallowed nervously. He'd said the words so quietly that he wasn't even sure he'd said them out loud.

And then she shifted slightly in his arms and mumbled "who?"

She was tired, her voice was quiet and exhausted. It wasn't just him feeling relaxed, she was feeling it too, trying to stay up, to stay with him as long as she could. Instinct told him to let her go to sleep. To quietly hush her, say that it was nothing, and tell her to go to sleep. But answers like that had led to them being in this little room and not the one they'd shared at home in the first place. Despite the voice in his head that screamed at him not to, he found himself opening his mouth again, muttering a single word that he knew would alter this moment

"Bae."

He didn't go on. He didn't say or do anything more. It was up to her. He'd laid the name out before them, what happened with it was her decision. Would she ignore it and pretend to have been sleeping? Would she say she didn't want to talk about it? He watched her carefully. Still, as she was, tired as she was, her eyes were suddenly wide open, staring across the room as if considering the choices she had. Was she angry he'd brought it up again? Was she upset?

Finally, she turned to glance up at him, she still didn't say anything but there was an intense curiosity in her eyes that demanded more from him, that demanded a truthful explanation.

"He was brave," he muttered quickly. "Far more of a man at thirteen than I ever was. He always wanted to do the right thing, he could see the value in others, and in the world around him. He was a lot like you."

His heart was racing. He'd told others about Bae, maybe not by name, but he'd allowed bits and pieces of him to be uncovered if it was opportune. But this was the first time he'd told another soul about Bae. About who he was and what he was like. It was the first time he realized he'd ever known someone who reminded him of his son. What would she think about that?

He watched her, timidly, wondering what she'd say. His heart fell when she picked herself up. For a moment he expected her to get up and leave him there alone with his memories. To say that was nice but maybe he should go and they could talk about it another time. To say that she loved him, but Baelfire was his problem, not hers. She had every right to after all! But instead, she moved.

She lay beside him on her stomach and swallowed. "I'm sure he still does," she assured him.

She was looking at him, watching him, an encouraging curious look that told him she expected him to continue the conversation. Conversation: two or more human beings exchanging sentences. She wasn't running. She wasn't leaving. He'd taken another step. She'd taken one too. Was this what it was like to have a relationship with another human being?

He'd had to replay the words over in his head, the ones that he'd said, just to make sense of her comment. She'd caught something he hadn't. He'd accidentally referred to his son in the past tense. He knew better. Their reunion was predicted, prophesied, but he knew that prophecies didn't always work out the way they were expected. It hadn't stopped him from wondering, from fearing that someday, all he'd be reunited with were some dried bones. Bae had come to a land without magic, he'd existed on magic for centuries. He'd promised himself that he'd never think it or allow himself to imagine it. He'd failed his son once, letting him die before he got to him wasn't an option. But he supposed it had seeped into him. She'd caught onto it. But could he bear to say it out loud, to admit it to her? He could keep those thoughts in check. What if she told him something he didn't want to hear?

"All these years," he whispered, hoping he wasn't shaking as he felt he had, "everything I've done, everything I haven't done, has all been to find him," he glanced over at her. She wasn't just hearing his words. He could tell that she was listening. That she understood that Bae was the reason he'd let her go in the first place, the reason he hadn't told her about magic weeks ago. But she didn't seem angry. She didn't seem upset. She seemed…pensive. Like she was taking it in and understanding everything. So would she understand, could she contemplate what he'd never wanted to? "I can't help but wonder if it's all been for naught, if I failed long before I even got the chance to try."

"You won't fail," she insisted, shaking her head in perfect adamant denial.

"You don't know that."

"I know you," she responded immediately. "I don't need to see the future to see the sacrifices that you've made for your son. You'll find him, I know you will. You're a good man, Rumpelstiltskin and a good father."

Her words nearly brought tears to his eyes. He wanted to hear words like that, needed to hear words like that. With that tone. Absolute certainty. There was not a doubt in her mind that what she'd said was true. He wished he had the same faith in that. But one person saying one good thing didn't negate centuries of actions proving the opposite.

"I can think of at least one person who would disagree with you."

He could think of multiple people he'd scorned that would disagree with her, in fact. But there was really one that he cared about in this world. They could all go to hell so long as he had Baelfire, and it had been his actions, his lack of goodness on both counts of being a man and a father that had led to that.

"The happiest moment of my life was when his mother placed him in my arms," he admitted, the words falling from his mouth while the scene repeated itself over and over again in his mind. He'd been so determined then, so certain that he really was good, but as the scene changed as the world changed and he saw Bae disappear down that portal, he knew that was the only moment of failure that really counted. "And the worst was when I broke our deal and let go."

"Baelfire…Baelfire will see that," she cut in suddenly with a shake of his hand, bringing him back to the present with her, saving him from the terrible repetition of his past once more. There it was again. That same encouraging certainty. "You'll fix this," she muttered next to him. "Do you, uh, do you think you can break it? This curse I mean?"

He glanced down at her and tried not to balk at her words. Her?! Encouraging him to use magic? To break the spell? Or just encouraging him to find Baelfire? It was one or the other. And he knew she didn't want him for magic. So that only left the option of wanting it for him as a father. It didn't make sense, but logic dictated it. Break the curse? Find Bae? It might be easier than that. Could she accept the sorcerer he'd become in centuries as well? The Dark One was part of him, whether he liked it or not. Would she like it?

"Perhaps," he answered, "but I don't think that I have to."

"What do you mean?"

"Magic and spells, curses even, are really not that different from deals," he explained quietly, trying to keep their conversation casual, as it if would desensitize her to the topic. "Magic isn't always perfect, there are always flaws, loopholes. Simply find the weakest point and then look for a way to exploit it, the way to get what you want while still upholding your end. That is how you get the better half of the deal."

She didn't look pleased with the answer, with the truth of knowing how he'd conducted his business all those years. But she didn't move away from him either. Progress?

"And, uh, what-what's the weakness in this curse?"

He tapped his fingers against the side of his head. "Memories," he informed her, "I don't have to break the curse I just have to figure out how to get across the town line with my memories intact. It's a far easier and less time-consuming task, trust me."

She smiled! She actually smiled, like she believed him like she did trust him. She still trusted him? She still loved him?! After all that he'd done? Really? That was possible?

"You'll figure it out," she nodded certainly, "you'll cross the town line, you'll find Baelfire…"

"And what?" he burst out. He'd never really gotten that far in his plans, hadn't gotten passed seeing Baelfire and begging for forgiveness. What if he refused to see him? What if he was dead? What if he didn't forgive him for that terrible thing he'd done years ago?! Then what? "We'll all live happily ever after?"

"No, there'll probably be another curse or a Yaoguai standing in our way!"

He snorted at her remark, all the while rejoicing. It wasn't just youthful ignorance. Youthful ignorance would have ended rose colored. She knew better than to expect that. Which could only mean that she really, really, did believe what she was saying. Suddenly a new, terrifying though popped into his head. What if he let her down?

"But you more than anyone should understand the value of taking things one step at a time. Figure out how to cross the town line and find your son," she went on, "we'll worry about what comes next when we face it."

"We." Together? The pair of them? It wasn't her problem, it was his. But…she was carrying it as if it was hers. Theirs? Was it his imagination, or did he suddenly feel…lighter? Was that what it felt like to have trust? To have…help?

Before he could say another word, she pushed herself up and kissed him. A small chaste one, not like they'd been doing earlier, not like what had led to…damn he still hadn't figured out what the hell they'd done was! Somehow it didn't matter. Next to the conversation they'd just had, it seemed less important…but also better somehow. He couldn't remember the last time he'd been this confused. He couldn't remember the last time he hadn't been able to figure out-

"Rest Rumple," she ordered, pressing her lips to his forehead erasing the thoughts he'd just been trying to sort through. "Go to sleep."

He held her tight against his chest, tighter than he had before. He'd let go once before, he wouldn't make that mistake again. For the first time since she'd left, sleep found him.

[piracytheorist]

Do you think Milah ever considered getting impregnated by Killian and raising the child with Rumple (after he gave away his second born) ? 🤔

Also, am I the only one who think it was savage of Dark Hook to say he would have given Milah back to Rumple “soiled but returned” ?

Oooohh! So look, Milah and Rumpelstiltskin were already quite poor, and Milah had to do most, if not all of the manual work so I’m not sure she’d be interested in having another kid, trade or no trade, since at least for the first year she’d have to be the one taking care of it along with the manual work. Without that though... I think it could be an interesting concept. If she had really wanted another kid, and had had the chance to have it with Rumpelstiltskin taken away from her, that she’d go to Killian and ask him for it. 

Maybe Killian would’ve been unsure; both for fathering a child, and for letting it grow up with what he considered as a coward for a father figure. But maybe Milah would reassure him that he wouldn’t have to worry, and that he could visit any time and she’d have him meet their child in secret or something.

That all makes for a scenario, of course, where Milah doesn’t want to leave, and instead wants a second kid. Maybe she wanted Bae to have a sibling, to have someone in his life that would still be there after his parents had died. Killian, having had Liam in his life, would be moved by that thought and perhaps he would have given her what she wanted. And then he’d visit once every few months, having his secret meetings with his forbidden love and their child.

There’s a lot of ideas that could come out of that, for sure!

As for Dark Hook saying that... no, you’re definitely not the only one. It was cruel, and while I think most of the things Dark Hook said made some kinda sense and are basically many of Killian’s actual fears coming out... saying that about Milah doesn’t make any damn sense. Like I feel like they gave us mixed messages, considering they connected his experience as a Dark One with his experience in indentured servitude as a child, and on the other hand they went and had him say this. 

And you could argue that he just said it to infuriate Rumpelstiltskin, and like. Dudebro murdered Milah in cold blood. I don’t think he actually gave a damn about Dark Hook calling her “soiled”. And if he said it to hit on Rumpelstiltskin’s pride, that he’d be taking back a “soiled’ wife... that’s sexist af and I can’t for the life of me imagine that the writers would choose to write Dark Hook like that. 

So it’s like... idk, it’s one of the reasons I can’t stand the Dark Hook vs Rumpelstiltskin fight in that episode, aside from the fact that it’s ridiculous and out of character. And if they wanted to give it a “he’s just super gone and he doesn’t mean anything he says”... why did they bother making him a child slave, connecting that to him becoming a slave to the Darkness, and why did they make him feel super guilty afterwards? If he was just gone and had no control, then he shouldn’t have begged Emma to kill him out of guilt for what he almost did. So he had some sort of control over what he was saying, and in a different way, he meant all what he said - and I mean, him saying Emma will always be an orphan strikes hard, but homeboy was right, she was pushing people away and reverting to the orphan she always feared she was - and so, what the hell with saying that about Milah? It just makes no damn sense and personally, I choose to ignore it because the writers didn’t really wanna bother putting some depth into Dark Hook, and only made him so for shock value and because Colin O’Donoghue is so talented they just couldn’t help testing him with playing yet another version of Hook. 

[killiansprincss]

Never Forget You ch. 15

Season 6A Canon Divergence.

Emma is happy. Finally happy with her parents, son and boyfriend. But this happiness is taken away from her when the Evil Queen curses her and turns her into a toddler.

Heartbroken and angry, Killian and Henry run away to Neverland to wait for Emma to break her curse. But when she does break it and comes looking for them 25 years later, she soon realises this Neverland is very different now it is no longer under Pans rule.

Will she be able to save Henry and Killian in time, or will this new ruler of Neverland keep them hostage forever?

Chapter 15 of my Neverland fic is here, I hope you enjoy it! Leave a comment if you liked it, they mean the world every comment I get :) AO3 Link

Previous chapters 

Verena was worried about Cecelia. This was a dangerous plan to begin with, even before Hook and Henry’s family came for them. She’s proven that she will do anything to make sure the two of them stay on the Island. The Echo Caves were a dangerous torture device, once used to drive the darkest secrets out of fairies, so they could be exiled or executed. And she feared this was exactly what she planned to do.

Verena was worried, no, scared for what her sister was doing. She was afraid for her life, if she stayed by her side she could end up dead, if she betrayed her she would equally end up dead. She needed a way to help Henry’s family while making Cecelia think she was helping her.

_____

She watches the family as Cecelia does. Cecelia thinks Verena is watching them in the same way she is, searching for a weakness in them. She’s a smart fairy, but also very passionate about what she wants so could be willing to let a few pieces of information slip from her mind.

“Anything new?” Cecelia asks one morning.

Verena shakes her head, “Not at the moment. They’re mainly talking about their lives, what’s been happening in their land over the past 25 years. But I’ll keep watching, there may be something in here we can use.”

And then it hits her. She’s watching the boys grandparents talk about their journey, they had been through a lot during the Enchanted Forest with corrupt Kings and Queens. But there was one part of their story that stuck out.

A sleeping curse.

Verena knew of her sister's plans for the pirate and the boy. And if she could give their family time, time to defeat Cecelia, she would keep the pirate safe under a sleeping curse, that way Cecelia would not be able to touch him. Her sister would be defeated, and then Emma, if she loves him as she says she does, she will wake him up.

Verena doesn’t tell her sister of her plan, afraid she will do it herself with some sort of twist. No,she does this independently, and will show her sister the outcome.

____

Despite never being the biggest fan of Hook to begin with, he was his daughter's true love. And he had shown countless times how far he was willing to save her, and Emma for him. They all went to hell, the Underworld to save him. So it shocked him when Emma told them he was sleeping with the fairy. There was no way he would do that, he knew how much he loved his daughter.

“I think I need to have a little chat with our Pirate. Find out his intentions.” He tells his family. He wanted to speak to him alone, find out the truth about him.

Emma doesn't even bother to stop him. She’s still angry, hurt and upset with Hook. Nobody stops him.

/\/\/\/\

If there was one thing Killian Jones associated with Neverland, aside from Pan and the fairies, it was Rum.

Rum in some senses had been his only companion during his years in Neverland. When he had handed Bae over to Pan many years ago, he greatly regretted this decision every day and it haunted him. So he turned to Rum, and he drank it every day to make him forget what the horrible consequences of that decision was. He couldn’t run away from his problems, he was in Neverland and needed the eternal youth it provided him with, so Rum could help ease his mind and put those worries to the back of his mind.

He doesn’t sleep. He made that mistake enough times to know it’s a bad idea. In his first days of Neverland before he met Emma he would see Liam. And if he didn’t see Liam, he would see Milah.

“Killian. Killian.”

He kept hearing a voice, it sounded an awful lot like his brother. But he knew better than to think his brother came back to life.

Except he kept hearing it. He opened his eyes to see Liam Jones standing in front of him.

“Liam?”

“Little brother what are you doing?” His voice was hoarse and bitter.

“Liam? Is it really you?” He was shocked to see him just walking around like it was nothing.

“Of course it’s me you bloody bastard! What are you doing with your life, little brother? This isn’t what we planned.” He was angry with him, that was sure.

“I’m sorry. Liam. You died. I messed up. I can’t trust the Navy, they killed you. I had to avenge your death.” It was true what Liam was saying, this wasn’t Killians plan-they planned for Liam to captain the Jewel of the Realm for a few years with Killian as Lieutenant until Killian would Captain his own ship one day. They would sail under the Kings Realm as the Jones Brothers, 2 of the finest Captains their kingdom had seen.

“Pirate, Killian? Really? Pirates were our worst enemy, and is that Rum? After all your talk of Good Form? The moment I’m gone, you become a drunk pirate?” This wasn’t Liam, or at least the Liam he knew once.

“You’re not Liam are you? What are you? Demon reveal yourself?” He could tell it wasn’t him by the way he spoke about his choices. Yes it wasn’t their original plan, but he wouldn’t judge his decisions so harshly considering what happened. And he would never call him a drunk. Never.

The demon was revealed to be a shadow. The shadow demons would take the form of another to try and trick you, or reveal dark desires. He learnt that the hard way when Pan when he revealed a dark secret about Milah.

“We wouldn’t want poor Bae finding out his mother’s darkest secret now do we?” Pan taunted him, he was unsure whether it was 50 years into his time in Neverland or 200.

At the time he had no idea how he found out. “Captain you can’t be so foolish as to speak to every shadow demon you see. O matter how many times it appears as Bae’s mother.”

When he realises it was just a bloody demon and not actually Milah's ghost or spirit, he goes back to his ship and drinks as much rum as it takes until he passes out.

Passing out from too much rum had become a regular occurrence for Killian, and slowly turned into a habit. The only way he could get through the days and nights which along with the time moving differently that had turned into a blur.

When Killian arrived back in Neverland with Henry, he told himself he wouldn’t use rum like that again. But that changed when he realised the shadow demons were Neverland speciality, not just Pan’s.

He sees Emma. He’d recognise her face anywhere, her blonde hair loose, green eyes shining as they always did, and her red jacket.

“You left me.” Emma grumbles.

“I’m sorry. I’m sorry love. I didn’t know what to do.” He apologises and apologises to her, but she won’t hear his cries or his pleas, she just keeps repeating

“You. Left. Me”

It takes a while for him to understand that this was a demon. The demon looked so like Emma, and he so wanted to see her, to bring him home.

But that was a long time ago. 1,000 years could’ve passed, that’s how Neverland works. And the only thing that could help him see past the demons was Rum. And lots of it. Neverland had an unlimited magic supply of the stuff so it was an easy fix to his daily problems. Especially after what happened with Eli, he couldn’t bare to look at his brothers face without feeling an enormous sense of guilt, so he would drink and drink and wake up the next morning with no clue what happened. It was best this way, just drink the pain away.

He pushes Henry away too. And he hates himself for it. But the poor lad looks so like his mother, he’s only reminded of the blasted reason they’re here every time he looks at him. He came aboard the Jolly one day with his ever present smile and boyish grin, ever the positive lad. He tells him to get off his ship, raising his voice at him.

“I-I don’t understand.” The poor lad trembles.

“I want you off my ship. Don’t ever come back onto my ship without a direct invitation from me first.” Killian snaps at him. He cringes at the memory, but he was angry once again at the universe and he took it out on Henry who was a painful reminder of the woman he lost.

Emma would be ashamed if she knew how he had been treating him, he made a vow to protect him and he had broken it. He’d done worse than broke the vow to protect him, he banished him from the only familiar place on the damn Island.

He only sees Henry in the Lost Ones clearing each night. They don’t ever say more than a few words to another at first. But then as time goes on in Neverland, and Henry forgives him, well he doesn’t outright say he forgives him, but he asks how he is. Henry knew better than to ask about his mother, Henry was having his own awful dreams of her, he knew it would only be worse for Killian. They keep their distance but Henry knows Killian isn’t okay, he notices how he drinks and drinks, each night, sometimes he will sit down and say nothing the entire night except mumbles which Henry can’t make out. He drinks his flask of rum, some nights he even has 2 flasks.

/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\

“Emma that you?” Killain asks as he hears a knock on the door to his hut.

“Sorry to disappoint.” Oh it was Dave, “She’s not coming.”  

“I didn’t sleep with Cecelia. I don’t know what she showed Emma, but I swear on my life that nothing has happened since I returned to this blasted Island.”

“I know.” David knew, he knew fairies, especially darker fairies were unpleasant creatures who created a web of lies and deceit to fulfil their desires.

“You do?”

The Prince nods at his once almost son in law. “You love Emma, I see it. I saw how it broke you when she was cursed. You ran away to Neverland, with Henry to protect him against seeing the person you both love not recognise you. The place that is filled with your own personal demons and nightmares. You came because you love Emma. I’d do the same for Snow.”

Killian breathes a sigh of relief, “you have no idea how much it means that you believe me. I just wished there was a way to show Emma.”

“You know what she’s like, stubborn as hell.” David laughs. “Give her some space. She’ll realise soon enough that the fairy is messing with her. Just stay on our side and we can figure out how to defeat -“

He is cut short as he senses movement outside Killians window.

“Verena!” Killain says as he and David grab their nearest weapon as the fairy poofs in front of them.

“I’m so sorry. I swear I’m on your side, my sister has much darker plans for you so this is something I have to do. If the woman you love truly feels the way you do, then she’ll wake you.”

One moment Killain is pointing his sword at the fairy dressed in red, and the next moment he suddenly feels sleepy and hits the ground as slumber.

“What the hell did you do to him?” David asks, sword pointing at the fairy.

The fairy clicks her fingers causing the Prince to fall to the ground,

“I’m afraid it’s for the best.” She whispers as she takes the Pirates body and disappears in a puff of red smoke.

[walviemort]

hidden blessing (4/?)

Summary: Killian thought the only thing he was left with after Milah’s death was a broken heart and a thirst for vengeance. It’s not until he gets to Storybrooke, after so many years spent in stasis, that he discovers something else: he’s carrying her child. How does this new, tiny blessing change his path? (Canon-divergent from 2x12.)

rated T | part 1 | part 2 | part 3 | AO3 | 2.9k

a/n: another update! this brings us to the end of Season 2...things will only get more interesting from here! (once I write it, lol) Thanks for reading! dedicated as always to the amazing @sherlockianwhovian​

Killian had figured out where the royal family lived sometime after his arrival in town, and his keen sense of direction led him to it without detour (well, save for one to lose the meager contents of his stomach in a bush). When he entered the building, he could hear the sounds of bickering coming through the open door at the top of the landing; they never even heard him coming up the stairs.

“STOP!” the young lad shouted. “I already lost my dad. I don't wanna lose anybody else. We have to work together.” 

“From the mouths of babes. I'd say the lad has a point,” Killian had to agree, enjoying the way everyone jumped at his voice as he entered the apartment. His tiny moment of glee was quickly burst, though, by the swift introduction of the prince’s fist to Killian’s face. 

“That was for the last time we met,” David added.

“Bloody hell,” Killian muttered, checking his nose for blood (and thankful the prince hadn’t headed any further south).

Finding nothing amiss other than what would likely be a sore spot, Killian looked back up to address the group—only to find the end of the prince’s gun staring him in the face.

“Tell us why you're here before I use something other than my fist.”

“I think threatening to kill me seems a bit redundant when we're all about to die anyway,” Killian threw back.

“No thanks to you,” Emma interjected. “Regina just told us you were working with Tamara and Greg to get your revenge.”

It was the first time he’d seen Emma in weeks and the flip his heart did at the sight of her was both foreign and welcome. Why had he waited so long to seek her out?

“Well, that was before they told me I had to die to get it,” he explained, hoping he hadn’t stared at her too long.

“We don't have time for this,” she said angrily, turning to her father. “We have a real problem.”

“Which is why I'm here,” Killian interjected again, calling her attention back to him. “'Cause staring death in the face has made me realize if there's one thing I want more than my revenge, it's my life.” Behind everyone else, Regina gave him a knowing look; but everyone else seemed to buy his reasoning. “So should we stop this thing now, and then resume bickering?”

Regina stepped forward, though. “There is no stopping it. And the best thing I can do is slow it down, but that will only delay the inevitable.”

“It'll give us the time we need,” the prince said, in a tone that generally indicated one had a plan.

“The time for what?” Snow White asked.

“Steal back the beans. Use them to get everyone into the Enchanted Forest before Storybrooke is gone.”

“How? We don't even know where Greg and Tamara are,” Emma countered.

Which was Killian’s prompt. “Well, I do. I can help.”

“Help yourself,” she scoffed. “You'll take them and leave us all behind. Why should we trust you?”

He refused to admit how much that stung—or, rather, continued to, ever since their trip up the beanstalk. But before he could defend himself, the prince stepped in.

“No, we won't have to. I'll go with him, and if he tries anything, I'll shoot him in the face.”

“Quite hostile, aren't we?”

“Just being clear.” How odd that he admired that fiery spirit in Emma but was so thoroughly annoyed by it in her father.

A plan quickly formed and roles were assigned, and people started to move for the door, save for Regina—who was making what sounded an awful lot like a goodbye to Henry. He wanted to be surprised at what was surely going to be a self-sacrificial moment for the queen, but if he truly stopped to think of it, he’d likely do the same, even if his own child was hardly the size of an avocado. The glance she gave him over the boy’s head was full of trust—she was counting on him to.

Were it just him, he likely would have prioritized saving himself over all the others. He knew it wouldn’t be all that hard to get a bean for himself and sail away, leaving everyone else to face their own fates. But now...he wouldn’t be able to face his child with all that blood on his hands. He already had enough of that as it was.

“The things we do for our children,” he found himself muttering as he followed David out the door.

---------

Once more, he had to brave a terrifying motorized coach as the prince drove them to the cannery. Despite everything he’d been through in the past few weeks, he was certain that this form of transportation was most likely to harm him and his babe. But thankfully, it was a short trip, and he couldn’t wait to escape once the vehicle stopped moving.

No sooner had he set foot on solid ground, though, than it trembled beneath him; it had been doing that with increasing frequency. “Time’s running out,” he shouted at David as they headed for the entrance.

Sarcastically, the prince threw back, “Oh, is that what that means?”

Greg and Tamara were in the far end of the building from where they were, but they carefully traversed its length, not wanting to give any warning they were there. Killian was definitely on edge, and he wasn’t sure which was racing faster: his heart, or the rapid flutters of his child.

“So, tell me, Hook,” David started, albeit quietly, as he followed Killian. “All this time, it's been about revenge for you. Why is that suddenly so important to you that you survive? I know what I'm fighting for—my family. What are you fighting for?

As much as Killian longed to say the same, he knew he couldn’t just yet. “Myself. That's plenty of motivation, I can assure you.” Hopefully his reputation covered his half-truth.

Not that it mattered; footsteps fell up ahead and they both fell silent just as Greg came into view.

A scuffle ensued as the two sides fought to gain control of the beans; Killian was briefly discombobulated when Tamara shot the prince’s gun from his hand, but he saw his opportunity as Greg was taunting them with the jar containing the items. He knew it was dangerous, fighting over such an item so violently, but the alternative was even worse, and so he tackled the man to the ground (and was quite pleased to be the one doing the punching for a change). 

David disappeared, chasing after Tamara, while Killian and Greg scrambled for the beans as they lay in the shattered glass; they both got their fingers on one each at the same time, and Greg was up and running much faster than Killian was capable of. 

But he wasn’t far behind, thankfully, as he had to hold back David from running after the other pair.

“What are you doing? They've got the beans!” he shouted, struggling.

“Not all of them. I snagged one,” he explained, showing it to David before putting it in the pocket attached to his belt.

“Where are the rest?”

“Who cares? All we need is one.” David attempted to run after them again; perhaps this was good practice in dealing with an unruly, stubborn child, he thought as he grabbed David’s arm. “Hey! Live to fight another day, mate!”

“I'm not your mate,” the prince snarled, then ripped the pouch off Killian’s belt and headed back the other direction. Kilian sighed, and followed him out.

-----------------------------------------------------

Much of the conversation in the diner around him was drowned out by the delight that was Granny’s cooking; he was glad he’d be able to sate his craving at least once more before whatever happened next, and he’d never met a dish quite like lasagna before. Until he heard an absolute absurd idea—to use the bean on the trigger and save Regina—and turned around on his stool just in time to intercept the bean as David tossed it to Emma.

Sounds of protest immediately followed his deft grab, but he didn’t care. “You're all mad.” Emma tried to grab it back, but he was easily able to hold it out of reach. “I can live with myself.”

“Give it back,” Emma demanded; goodness, she was attractive like this—all fiery anger—but now was not the time.

“If she wants to die for us, I say let her.”

Emma took a step closer, but made no attempt to reach for the bean this time; he smelled something lightly floral that seemed to suit her perfectly, but still—not the time. “You and I—we understand each other,” she said. “Look out for yourself, and you'll never get hurt, right?”

“Worked quite well for me,” he agreed, even if that wasn’t the whole truth.

“Yeah, till the day that it doesn't. We're gonna do this. It might be stupid, it might be crazy, but we're doing it. So... you can join us and be a part of something, or you can do what you can do best and be alone.”

He swallowed. It should be unnerving, how well she had him figured out despite not knowing the whole story. But it was hard to argue against a statement like that.

“Quite passionate, Swan,” he answered, and handed over the pouch. No one waited for any more words and immediately headed for the door, but he hung back—partly because he wanted to finish that lasagna, and partly because he wasn’t done with Emma. Before she’d taken two steps, he reached for her forearm. “Why are you really doing this?” he asked; he could read her just as easily.

And she knew it. “The kid just lost his father today,” she admitted. “I'm not letting him lose a mother, too.”

That was odd; he hadn't heard of any casualties. “His father? Who's Henry's father?”

“Neal,” she answered somberly.

Bloody hell—no. “Baelfire?”

“Yeah.”

This wasn’t nausea—there was genuinely a pit forming in Killian’s stomach. Bae couldn’t be gone; they’d never even—he hadn’t—

He pushed those feelings away as he watched Emma turn and walk out. If Bae was gone, then that meant there was truly nothing for him here.

He felt the smoothness of the bean in his jacket pocket, where he’d hidden it. Good riddance, Storybrooke.

------------------------------------------------

The tremors that were shaking the ground were also stirring the sea, but not enough that he had any problem getting the ship out into open waters. Once he was far enough away from land, he pulled out the bean from his jacket pocket.

For a moment, he stared at it, and felt its coolness against his fingers. How odd that something so small had so much power. Although, he did have to admit: the first image he’d seen of his child was fairly similar in shape, and there was no doubting the sway they held over him; it was why they were here, after all.

Killian tried to focus his thoughts on the Enchanted Forest before throwing the bean and opening the portal, but his thoughts were oddly jumbled, and it wasn’t just pregnancy brain this time.

His gaze drifted to the markings he’d carved into—and scratched off—the helm so many years ago. Bae. 

Now that he was alone, he could feel the emotions at learning of the lad’s passing finally welling up. Well, he wasn’t quite a lad anymore, was he? Or, had he been, rather. He’d grown up somehow, fathered a child, led a life—a life that surely wasn’t what it should have been, and it was definitely Killian’s fault. 

And now, there was a decent chance Bae’s son would face a similar fate, if Killian had interpreted things right. Could he let that happen in exchange for his own child’s safety?

Just then, he felt something sharp in his stomach; his hand flew to the spot, low on the gentle curve of his belly. What on earth had that been?

A moment later, he felt it again, this time against his palm. Was that...was the babe kicking? The books indicated that he shouldn’t be able to feel it yet—not for some time, actually—but there it was again. His child—kicking—communicating with him.

And he could tell right away what they were saying: that no, he could not leave another boy to face the same fate Bae had.

Which meant there was only one thing to do. As quick as he could, he pocketed the bean again and spun the wheel, turning the ship around.

---------------------------------------

The ship was only just docked when the band of heroes were already gathered around the gangplank.

“What the hell are you doing here?” Emma called out as they approached. If he took a long moment to appreciate how she looked with the sea breeze blowing her blonde curls, he kept that to himself.

“Helping,” he answered dryly as he shuffled down the ramp.

“Well, you're too late,” Regina snarked, but sounded oddly worn out.

“Am I?” he tossed back; something had clearly happened in the short time he’d been gone.

Emma was waiting for him at the bottom of the plank. “I thought you didn't care about anyone but yourself,” she said, quietly and accusingly. His stomach flipped and he wasn’t about to try to figure out why.

Instead, he pulled the bean from his pocket and held it out to her. “Maybe I just needed reminding that I could.”

Amazingly, she seemed speechless as she took it from him, then glanced around at the others. Regina, ever the impatient one, was the first to speak up.

“Enough waiting around, let's go.”

“Go? Where?” He’d definitely missed something. “I thought we were saving the town.”

“We already did,” the prince answered; Killian supposed he wasn’t all that surprised.

“We need to get Henry,” Emma continued. “Greg and Tamara took him through a portal.”

Bloody hell; he knew that pair was trouble. There was no debate; he knew what he had to do. “Well, I offer my ship and my services to help follow them,” he quickly supplied. A gentle but firm kick in his belly seemed to indicate his child’s approval.

“Well that's great, Hook, but how do we track them?” Regina complained as they began to board; he could now see her attitude covering up the panic.

“Leave that to me.” The Dark One’s voice never failed to send a chill down Killian’s spine. “I can get us to where we need to go.”

Before he could protest, Snow decided for all of them. “Well, let's do it.” He had to concede for the moment; if they had no clue where the wretched pair had taken the boy, then he certainly couldn’t steer them in the right direction.

Everyone boarded and found places on the deck while Killian readied things. Last aboard was the Crocodile; Killian’s stomach turned at the sight, not just because of recent memories on this deck, but past ones, too. It never seemed to end well when he was on board. This man was the reason his child would never know their mother, and that was impossible to forgive.

But it wasn’t about Killian’s family right now. 

“So, are you done trying to kill me?” the Dark One sneered as Killian descended from the quarterdeck.

“I believe so,” he answered solemnly; at least, he was for now. Gods forbid the man ever came near his child, though.

“Excellent. Then you can live.” Without further prompting, the reptilian man waved his hand, and a swirl of smoke appeared on a crate; when it dissipated, it revealed a frosted glass globe, blank of markings.

Everyone seemed to be watching as he pricked his finger on the sharp point of the needle attached to the instrument, then dripped his blood on the cloudy glass. It swirled red until a map began to take shape—of some terrifyingly familiar islands.

“Where is that?” Regina demanded. “Where did they take Henry?”

Killian swallowed before answering; and gods, he wished it was anywhere else. “Neverland.”

He had no way of knowing whether the nausea turning his stomach was from the babe, or the prospect of entering that accursed realm again.

To his surprise, the only other person who seemed to realize the gravity of the situation was Rumplestiltskin; they exchanged a heavy look, before Killian broke it to get them moving. The sooner they got there, the sooner they could leave...he hoped.

Once the ship was ready again, Emma handed the bean back to him, along with a look that threatened murder should anything go awry. He almost feared that more than anything the Dark One could do to him.

Focusing on Neverland, he squeezed the bean in his hand, then threw it into the ocean and began to steer the ship into the portal that quickly formed.

His companions began to ask questions about where they were headed and who they’d be facing; he wondered what falsehoods this realm knew, but was too focused on navigation—and the flutters in his stomach that were of indeterminable origin—to hear what they were saying.

He knew well enough what lay ahead. And all he could do was send a prayer to whatever deity was listening that he and his babe survived the trip.

And he felt a very firm kick as the swirling waters closed around them, carrying them on their next adventure.

————————————-

thanks as always for reading! tags: @cocohook38​​​ @wyntereyez​​​ @jennjenn615​​​ @superadam54​​​ @ashley-knightingale​​​ @justsomewhump​

[obisgirl]

Happy Father’s Day Killian Jones!!

Happy Father’s Day Killian Jones!!  

I haven’t written a meta to Killian Jones in a long time but I thought on this Father’s Day, it would be a good time to reflect on the fact that Killian has always been a good father figure before becoming an actual father himself 6 seasons later.  

I know he stumbled a lot in the beginning, finding his good heart but I always knew, once he did that we would finally see the true Killian Jones, and I was right. 

What’s interesting about Killian’s story is that his journey towards becoming a better person and ultimately, a father, has been about his capacity to love.  Killian is the type of man who loves with his whole heart.  He’s also fiercely protective of the people that he loves, and good father’s have to be like that right? 

He wanted to protect Baelfire from Pan during his Neverland days, and I know he might have felt conflicted about doing so, because he wanted his revenge  but I think ultimately, that flashback showed that he needed someone to give him a second chance at a true happy ending.  He needed someone to love and accept him as he is.  If Bae had agreed to stay on the ship, I believe that he would have given up his vengeance for him so he could be this child’s stepfather.  Because that’s what Milah wanted.  

Bae refused him and he had no choice but to give him over to the Lost Boys.  

Then, you parallel Killian’s relationship with Henry centuries later,  (in 3B),  Killian continues to look out for Henry and Emma continues to place him in his care when she’s hunting the Wicked Witch.  She trusts Henry to this pirate because she already knows from past history with him in Neverland, that Hook would protect Henry with his life.  

Later in season four,  I know Rumple wants Killian to get Henry and escape the town during the Snow Queen’s curse and was trying to make the best of the situation,  but I really believe he was trying his best to protect him and get him to safety.  I wish we had seen more of Killian and Henry’s relationship in the later years.  

Later in the season 4 finale,  even though Killian didn’t remember Henry, a part of him still managed to break through and tell Emma to protect Henry from Evil Snow.  That was still within him, regardless of what the author wrote about him being a coward.  

Again, in season 6,  Killian puts Henry first when trying to escape the Nautilus.  He gives him the only escape gear, so at least one of them will get back to Emma.  Killian sacrifices himself so Henry will be safe.  Could he be anymore perfect? Henry thankfully comes back for him because he realizes that he loves Emma too and accepts him into his family.  

Look,  Killian did not have the best father himself.  Brennan Jones abandoned Killian and Liam as boys; not only that, he sold them into slavery in exchange for his freedom.  He already has the worst fictional dad in history. 

I think that’s why Killian wants to be better for those that he truly loves.  He has every reason to hate his dad, and you just know once he learned that Emma was pregnant in season 7,  he was probably at the library, reading up on everything you needed to know about being a first time father.  

I know some Captain Swan fans probably still feel a little cheated that we don’t get to see what Killian is like as a father, but I already know that he’s always been a father and has shown on different occasions the type of man and father he is.  He’s loyal, protective,  sacrificial, loving.  

This is something that Emma knew in season 6, when she watched Killian making doggy faces at Alexandra in Granny’s diner.  She already knew that he was going to be a great father one day, but seeing him be that like, only cemented for her that she really wanted a child with him.  

I also like to think that this Father’s Day, both Killian’s are spending their days with their daughters, perhaps taking turns teaching them to sail The Jolly Roger and Alice and Hope should be proud to be pirate’s daughters.  Or maybe Alice makes a special surprise with Hope to surprise both Killian’s and show them their appreciation for being their papa’s.  

Killian Jones was always a father, it was always within him to be a father; he just needed someone to give him that chance to be a great father.   

[worryinglyinnocent]

Fic: The Best Medicine

Rated: E

The Best Medicine

“Ugh. Anton, give me a gin and tonic, please. Actually, just the bottle of gin. It’s been one of those days.”

The man at the bar beside Belle chuckled as Anton put down her glass of gin and tonic, swirling the whisky in his tumbler around before downing it and ordering another.

“Drowning your sorrows as well?” Belle asked. The man nodded.

“Yep. Just got done being yelled at by my ex-wife in our attorney’s office for two hours. You?”

“My boss is a jerk. Well, she’s not technically my boss, but she likes to think that because she’s a doctor and I’m a nurse, the sun shines out of her ass and she can boss me around like I’m nothing.”

The stranger considered this for a moment and nodded. “I can understand your frustration. Sounds a lot like my ex, actually.”

Belle laughed, and she held out a hand. “I’m Belle.”

“Cameron. Cam to my friends.”

“Am I a friend?” Belle teased.

“Well, I think that might depend on whether or not I get to know you better.” Cameron indicated her half-empty glass. “Can I get you another?”

Belle looked at the very tempting bottle of gin behind the bar. One the one hand, she had an early shift the next morning and she didn’t want to be giving a batch of flu shots with a pounding headache. On the other hand, Milah Cassidy, the bane of Belle and all her colleagues’ existences, had made her day so miserable that when Dr Cassidy had finished her shift and finally left them alone, a collective cheer had gone up around the clinic.

On yet another hand, Ruby had been on at her to get back into the dating game for months now, and whilst Belle was in no way looking for anything remotely committed or long term, she had an itch to scratch just like any other woman with sexual desires, and if Cameron was willing to spend a little time with her scratching that itch, then why shouldn’t she indulge.

“All right,” she said.

Fresh drinks procured, Belle scooted along the bar to Cameron and leaned in a little closer.

“So, tell me about this terrible ex of yours.”

Cameron grimaced. “Ugh. I’d rather not, any more than you’d want to talk about your terrible boss.”

“True enough. Shall we leave aside the reasons why we’re drinking and talk about other things instead?”

Cameron chinked his glass against hers. “I think that’s an excellent idea.”

They talked for what felt like hours, although Belle was keeping an eye on the time and knew that it could not have been so long. She found out all sorts of things about Cam – his tastes in books and music and movies, his favourite food, the name of his childhood goldfish.

But not, she recalled after the fact, his last name.

It was getting towards the end of the evening and Belle was going to get up and leave. That was when the kiss happened. She wasn’t quite sure which of them had initiated it or if it had been a mutual reaction to a heavy and suggestive pause in the conversation. All she knew was that Cam was an excellent kisser and she was getting this man back to her place tonight by hook or by crook.

Cam, thankfully, was all too eager to go along with her suggestion to go back to hers, his voice low and husky, Scottish accent twice as strong now as he whispered all kinds of filthy promises in her ear and Belle’s knees nearly turned to jelly at the thought of it all.

Once inside her flat, they didn’t make it as far as the bed. Belle tackled Cameron down onto the sofa, wrestling with his tie and waistcoat buttons as he pulled her shirt open and yanked her bra cups down to free her breasts, tugging at her nipples and pinching them gently. Belle groaned above him, rocking her hips up against his and feeling his cock twitch and harden against her thigh. She finally succeeded in getting his shirt open and she raked her fingers over his chest, flicking at his own nipples and receiving a growl of lust in return for her efforts.

Belle grinned, sitting up to hitch her skirt up around her waist and pull her panties down, and letting Cameron undo his belt and fly, taking out his cock and stroking himself quickly to full hardness. There was an easy confidence in the way he moved, showing himself off for her evaluation almost, but as her fingers closed over his and increased the pressure on his shaft, pumping harder, she could tell that he was only holding on to his self-control by a thread. She grabbed her purse and rifled in it for a condom.

“Now I think it’s my turn.” Belle sat back on her knees, parting her folds with two fingers and unhooding her clit, already swollen and aching to be touched. She could feel the wetness gathering at her entrance, and she groaned as Cam took her up on her hint and pressed his thumb firmly against her pearl, rubbing in circles and making her hips jerk up against his touch, pushing her sex into his hand and welcoming one finger, then two, pressing up inside her, inner walls clutching desperately around them and pulling them in deeper towards her sweet spot. Cam’s other hand reached up for her breast, tugging at her nipple again, and Belle moaned unashamedly, digging her fingers into his chest. Oh yes, this was definitely enough to scratch that itch.

“Oh yes, yes, like that. Oh yes, Cam!”

Belle wondered if she’d scared her neighbours with her scream, before deciding that she really didn’t care, not when the orgasm had been so good. She took a few moments to get her breath aback and then shifted her weight, sinking down onto Cam’s cock and rolling her hips. His own thrust up to meet her, urging her on harder and faster until she was panting again, almost but not quite reaching the edge.

Then Cam found her clit again and squeezed roughly, making her see stars, her inner walls fluttering around his cock and pulling him over with her, a hoarse shout of her name echoing through the small apartment.

On shaking knees, Belle pushed herself up and let Cam pull out and get rid of the condom.

“Well, I think that satisfied an urge,” she murmured.

“Most definitely.” Cam pulled her down for long kiss, much softer and more sensual than the heated frenzy that they’d shared on the way back from the bar.

“Maybe we can actually make it to the bed for round two?” Belle suggested.

“As wonderful as that sounds, and as absolutely delicious as this evening has been, unfortunately I have a babysitter on the clock and she’s only paid up till midnight.” It was with obvious reluctance that Cam rolled off the sofa and began to set his clothes to rights. “But if you’re ever in the mood to share another evening like this, then I can usually be found at Anton’s if I’ve had a bad day. Which, let’s face it, is most days.”

Belle laughed, lying back on the sofa and getting one final appreciative glimpse of Cam’s ass before he pulled his trousers back up. “Me too.”

He kissed her again before he left, and Belle continued to lie on the sofa for a while, smiling at what had transpired.

She was still smiling all the way through her morning clinic shift, and Ruby immediately guessed that she’d finally had decent sex with another human being. In fact, Belle was smiling right up until the moment that Dr Cassidy spoke to her.

“Nurse French, I’ve just seen that your next patient is my son; my ex-husband’s bringing him in. He’s terrified of needles and he’ll probably scream the place down, but just stick the little drama queen. He’ll be fine.”

With this, Dr Cassidy moved away, and Belle was left completely stunned that someone with so little compassion, especially for scared children and especially for her own scared child, had become a doctor in the first place. Still, she was on a tight appointment schedule and she couldn’t just stand there in astonishment all day. She went out into the waiting room to call her next patient.

“Bae Gold?”

Bae did indeed look terrified at the prospect of getting his flu shot, but for a few seconds, Belle couldn’t heed him as she was too busy staring in amazement at his father.

“Hello, Cameron,” she said eventually.

“Hello, Belle.” He gave a slightly shy smile, which Belle returned. Bae looked up at his father.

“Do you know Nurse Belle, Daddy?”

“Erm, yes. We met yesterday. Nurse Belle is a… very special friend.”

“Oh.” Bae looked far too sage for his six years. “Did you go on a date?”

“Erm, sort of.”

“Are you going to go on another one? Tilly from next door can look after me again like she did yesterday.”

Cam looked at Belle, his eyes questioning, and she nodded.

“I would love to go on another date with your daddy, Bae. Come on, let’s get your flu shot done. It’ll only take a second.”

With the fascinating new knowledge that his daddy knew Nurse Belle, and completely absorbed in planning their date for them, Bae received his shot with no fuss at all, and after he and Cam had left, Cam giving her his number, Belle had to laugh out loud. Not only had she had great sex last night, she now had a date, and she could think of better revenge on Dr Cassidy than by sleeping with her ex-husband.

[celticheartedfangirl]

My OUAT Rewatch -- S5E14 -- Devil’s Due

Link to Rewatch Review and Ranking archive

Everyone stand back, it’s time to honor the MOM OF THE YEAR!

Yeah, if you’re a Milah fan, you may want to back away now.  In fact, you may want to back away PERMANENTLY from my blog because I have no love or empathy or sympathy or ANYTHING for this fucking bitch except cheering for the fact that not only is she dead, she’s DOUBLE DEAD.  

Yeah you heard me.  Not even sorry.

So I went back to look at March 2016 me to see what some of my thoughts were on this one.  I had LOTS to say but I want to focus in on a few key things:

1.  I loathe Milah.  She’s a bitch, an abusive spouse, and just a piece of shit in general, and probably one of THE worst parents on the show, and that’s saying something given this show.  I don’t feel one ounce of sympathy or sorry for her.  Not ONE.  Not even half of a half of a half of a half of one.  

And I had about HAD IT with the Milah apologists in this fandom, and I’m not just talking about the OUAT fandom in general, I’m talking about the RUMBELLE fandom.  Yes, there are Milah apologists in the RUMBELLE fandom.  I’d wave hi to them, but I’m pretty sure they all have me blocked.  Or vice versa.  Or we are mutually blocked.  

GOOD.

Anyhow, I wrote this very lengthy, pointed post after this episode on why the character of Milah disturbs me so much, so here it is:

https://celticheartedfangirl.tumblr.com/post/141406210392/seeing-pro-milah-stuff-on-my-dash-is-so-upsetting

I blocked A LOT of people after this episode initially aired.  Not even sorry.  

There is also this excellent post laying out exactly how Milah is abusive for all the idiots who claim that “Milah never abused Rumple”:

https://violetfaust.tumblr.com/post/133300598121/milah-never-abused-rumple

I know I’m being blunt here but this character triggers me more than any other character on the show.  She is TERRIBLE.  Just in this episode, let’s look at what mommie dearest did in the flashback ALONE:

1.  She yells at Rumple for PLAYING WITH HIS CHILD.  Seriously.  

2.  As soon as Bae gets bitten by the snake, they go to a healer and her immediate -- IMMEDIATE idea is “Hey, let’s KILL HIM!”  I mean, sure, her kid is dying, I’m sure any parent would do anything to save their child, but I honestly think most would stop short of “Hey, let’s do murder!” unless the way of saving their child was stopping an actual murderer who was trying to murder their child.  But nope, Milah goes right for bloodlust.  But of course SHE can’t do the killing, let’s make her husband do that, then get mad at him when he can’t muster up the same level of glee for murder that she can.  

3.  After Bae is healed, she goes STRAIGHT TO THE BAR.  Doesn’t stay to comfort her son that almost died. Nope -- goes off to drink and look for the pirate that flirted with her earlier.  You stay classy, Milah.

Which brings me to the issue that caused all kinds of debate when this episode aired -- “Ermagod Rumple took Milah’s agency with that deal he made!”

Oh, please.

Who thinks that Rumple and Milah had anything that remotely resembled sex since he came back from the ogre wars?  

PLEASE.  That was a DEAD BEDROOM.  They weren’t planning on more kids.  

And hey, if mom of the year Milah wanted more kids, why weren’t there a bunch of baby Killybunnies running around on the Jolly Roger given that she was off with him for at least EIGHT YEARS.  

https://celticheartedfangirl.tumblr.com/post/141199068997/violetfaust-chanceofserendipity-rebelside

Rumple’s choices are always -- ALWAYS -- shit, shittier, and shittiest.  He NEVER has a good option.  His choices were

a) Bae dies

b) he commits MURDER

c) he give up a hypothetical second child that he literally has NO REASON to think will ever exist

Which one would YOU pick, oh great and wonderful Milah defenders?  Tell me your brilliant plans if YOU were in that situation.  

“Oh he should have talked to Milah” HELLO have you ever seen this abusive cow be reasonable to him?  NO.  You can’t reason with an ABUSER.  So don’t even give me that bullshit answer, sit down.

Just look at this bitch:

https://celticheartedfangirl.tumblr.com/post/141713831697/emospritelet-thatravenclawbitch-woodelf68

Using sex as a weapon on her abused, desperate spouse.  Yes, I know we love squishy woobie!Rumple but this is ABUSE.  Using sex as a weapon is ABUSE.

https://celticheartedfangirl.tumblr.com/post/141212899672/milah-never-abused-rumple-we-only-saw-a-little-bit

And in the underworld, Rumple is AGAIN faced with a no-win, no good solution situation.  

https://celticheartedfangirl.tumblr.com/post/141427043007/you-used-to-say-belle-not-having-a-reaction-when

Honestly, if the genders were reversed and Rumple were a woman and Milah were a man, the whole fandom would be like:

I’m done with Milah, just talking about her makes me stabby.  So onto Emma . . . . here’s March 2016 me:

https://celticheartedfangirl.tumblr.com/post/141400138912/so-hold-up-emma-tells-milah-about-neal

Someone slap her for me.  

Also the “Poor Hook” bullshit:

https://celticheartedfangirl.tumblr.com/post/141200226257/what-pisses-me-off-the-most-about-the-whole-save

And Adam running away from fans who ask him valid questions that he has zero answers for:

https://celticheartedfangirl.tumblr.com/post/141895654207/audreyslovegrows-queen-of-the-merry-men

But Belle is pregnant so . . . . . yay?  I remember thinking back then, “Gee I wonder how they’ll fuck THIS up.”

Here, have some hilarious fan art from the really good scene we all love:

https://celticheartedfangirl.tumblr.com/post/141429781082

BTW, despite all the bitching, MAJOR KUDOS to Robert Carlyle for knocking it out of the park on this one!  Well done, sir!  

This show doesn’t deserve you.

Points tally:

40 points to start

15 points for Rumple centric (was the last one SERIOUSLY Season 3?  I think it was, JFC, this show . . . . )

10 points for Papafire

5 points for Swan Queen

5 points for in character Rumple

5 points deducted for Hook

Despite my bitching, which is mainly about the CHARACTER Milah, I didn’t dislike this episode.  Full 25 bonus, no deductions.

Total points:  95

Follow #celtichearted OUAT ranking tag for more to come!

[emospritelet]

Desperation 15/16

Oh, don’t mind if I do! As soon as you sent me this prompt I knew how I was going to write it :))

This chapter is also dedicated to @timelordthirteen​, who made this wonderful aesthetic post for this fic and has been patiently waiting for these two to touch :)

[AO3]

Oh, the rating went up 

x 

Belle wrapped the robe she was wearing around herself a little tighter, looping the belt tight as Gold closed down the laptop and shoved the pad containing his budget notes into one of the kitchen drawers. She took two wine glasses from the cupboard as he rummaged around on one of the higher shelves in the larder, finally taking down a bottle of red wine. He held it up, looking uncertain. A stylised black cat with a curling tail was on the label, looking out with tilted green eyes.

“I’ve no idea what it’s like,” he said. “Not exactly a connoisseur. I’m guessing it’ll be red and fairly alcoholic. Aftertaste of wine.”

Belle giggled.

“Can’t ask much more than that,” she said. “Besides, it has a black cat on it. Maybe we’ll get lucky.”

Gold’s eyebrow twitched, and she felt her mouth drop open as she realised what she’d said.

“Uh - I - I meant with the taste,” she said lamely, and his eyes gleamed as he tried to hide a smile.

“Well, let’s hope so.” He stepped past her, reaching into one of the drawers for a corkscrew. “Come on, let’s take this through to the lounge.”

She waited for him to uncork the bottle, following him through to the lounge and setting the glasses on the coffee table before turning on the lamps. Gold eased himself onto the couch, picking up the glasses one by one and pouring wine into them.

“Cheers,” he said, raising his glass, and she smiled, sitting down next to him and picking up her own.

“Cheers.”

They clinked glasses, and Belle took a sip. The wine was pleasant enough as far as she could tell, its warmth spreading down her throat as she swallowed.

“Considering my sense of taste has all but disappeared, it seems pretty good,” she said, and Gold nodded.

“Honestly, it’s so long since I had a drink, anything would taste good,” he said. “But I’ve definitely had worse.”

He took another sip, and settled back against the cushions with a sigh as he relaxed a little, stretching his legs out.

“How long is it since you just kicked back with a glass of wine?” she asked.

“Probably New Year’s Eve,” he admitted. “Didn’t stay up until midnight, or anything. Bae and I had been to Granny’s New Year’s party, but I had a glass of wine when  he went to bed, and I drank the last of the whisky I had. Sat here in silence and thought about the year that had gone and the one that was to come.”

“I have to say that my New Year’s Eve was similar,” she remarked. “Only with far more alcohol and many more regrets.”

Gold chuckled, taking a sip of wine.

“I was thinking it would be a good year,” he said. “A better year. Didn’t see any of this coming, of course.”

“None of us did,” she said. “Although I have to say this whole experience has made me reevaluate things. Think about what’s important in life.”

“Has it made you regret coming to Storybrooke?” he asked. “You would have had more freedom to move around if you’d stayed in the city, I imagine.”

“Oh, I could never regret coming here,” she said at once. “It’s a wonderful town; admittedly I haven’t seen all that much of it yet, but it certainly seems wonderful. And coming here just before a crisis hits, being a relative stranger in this place - well, it’s made me realise how much strength and compassion there is out there. And how important it is to have a community. To belong.”

“Yes,” he said quietly. “This town certainly pulls together in a crisis. And you do belong, Belle. You’re one of us now.”

She smiled at him, and there was a comfortable silence as they drank their wine. It had made her cheeks flush a little, and by the time she finished the glass she was feeling a gentle buzz from the alcohol. Gold took her empty glass, setting it on the table beside his own and pouring them another. 

“Did Bae say anything to you earlier?” he asked. “He seems a little down today.”

“Oh.” Belle chewed her lip. “Yeah. He was talking about his mom.”

“Ah.” Gold nodded. “Yes. He mentions her less than he once did, but I’m sure he still misses her.” 

“He told me about the last time they spoke,” she said, picking up her glass. “He said she promised to visit and bring presents, but she never showed up.”

Gold gave her a thin, bitter smile.

“No,” he said. “He must have asked me when she was coming fifty times over that Christmas period. I didn’t have an answer.”

“And you haven’t heard from her since?” asked Belle.

“A couple of postcards, gushing about how wonderful it was to travel,” he said dryly. “Full of empty promises about how she would come and see him and tell him all about what she’d been doing. The last one of those was over two years ago. I don’t even know if she’s still alive, and frankly I don’t care.”

He hung his head a little, his mouth flattening as he turned the glass between his fingers.

“That sounds bad, doesn’t it?” he said quietly. “I don’t - I don’t wish her harm, I just - she hurt Bae a lot by breaking her promises all the time. She always said she loved him, and that she’d keep in touch, and it just - never seemed to happen. I’d get him ready for a weekend with her, and she’d be late, or she just wouldn’t show at all.”

“Ugh, I’m sorry.” Belle wrinkled her nose. “Poor little Bae. That must have been so hard on him.”

“Sometimes I think it might have been better if she’d said straight out that she didn’t want any access,” he said. “Just left him with me when he was born and gone and lived her own life. At least then he wouldn’t have missed her. Still. Hindsight, and all that.”

“Maybe she wanted to try to do the right thing,” ventured Belle, and he shrugged.

“Maybe,” he said. “She made enough of a point of wanting access in the divorce, but perhaps that was just because she wanted to create some drama, I don’t know.”

“So she has your address?” she asked.

“Oh yes,” he said dryly. “I made sure she always knew how to contact him. As much as I could. Last time she wrote to him, she said she was taking a boat out to the Caribbean. God alone knows where she ended up.” 

He ran a hand through his hair, huffing air through his lips.

“God, I’m sorry to rant about my ex. I’ve never really had the chance to do it before. Wouldn’t be fair to do it in front of Bae.”

“I think he’s forming his own opinion of her, anyway,” said Belle, and he nodded.

“Perhaps he is. Not much I can do about it either way, it’s up to her to make their relationship work. If she’s interested.”

“You think she’ll ever come back?” she asked, and he pulled a face.

“In the absence of needing a kidney or something?” he said, making her grin. “If I had to put money on it I’d say it’s unlikely.”

There was silence for a moment. Gold took a swallow of wine, shaking his head as though freeing himself from the ghosts of his past.

“What about you?” he asked. “Any depressing relationship failures you want to tell me about?”

Belle pulled a face.

“Mostly a long list of failed first dates,” she said. “A couple of relationships, but nothing that got too serious. Sometimes I think I’m cursed. Or too picky, one of the two.”

“You should be picky,” he said. “No sense in settling for less than you deserve. You deserve the best, Belle. You deserve to be happy.”

“So do you.”

Gold inclined his head.

“I am happy,” he said. “Most of the time. You know, when there isn’t a deadly pandemic and the threat of financial ruin hanging over the town.”

He sent her a grin, to lighten the statement, and Belle smiled, taking another drink.

“Have you dated much since you got to Storybrooke?” she asked, and he snorted.

“No. Haven’t had time to think about it. Despite Granny doing her best to set me up with every single woman that visits the diner.”

“Sounds like the potential for a bunch of dates as awful as mine was,” she said. “My friend Ariel kept arranging blind dates for me back when I was living in Boston. Unfortunately Ariel’s idea of a hot date and mine just - well, they don’t really match up.”

“I daresay she and Granny would get along well,” he remarked, and Belle giggled.

“Well meaning and wonderful but really missing the mark,” she said.

“God bless ‘em.”

He raised his glass, and she clinked her own against his, still chuckling.

“It hasn’t put you off relationships entirely, then?” she said. “Getting divorced?”

Gold eyed her for a moment, and shrugged.

“No, I wouldn’t say that,” he said. “I haven’t become bitter and cynical, no matter how badly things ended with Milah. No matter how badly they began.”

Belle turned towards him, drawing her knees up onto the couch.

“You were married,” she said. “You must have cared about each other once.”

“We married because of Bae,” he said wearily. “I wanted to do the right thing, give us some stability. But yes, I suppose we did care. She told me she loved me, anyway. In the beginning.”

“Perhaps she did.”

He gave her a tiny, twisted smile.

“Perhaps,” he said. “For a time.”

“What happened?” asked Belle softly, and he sighed.

“We wanted different things out of life,” he said simply. “And the things she wanted, I couldn’t give her. Things weren’t great to begin with, but then I did this.” He tapped his bad leg. 

“How did you do it?” she asked curiously, and he pulled a face.

“One of my jobs in New York was a courier,” he said. “Motorcycle courier. Had an accident. Caught a wheel on a patch of fuel and took a trip under a truck. Lucky to come out of it with just a busted ankle.” 

Belle winced.

“God, that sounds awful. I’m sorry.”

“Is what it is,” he said, and took another swallow of wine. “Made things impossible between us, though. I hadn’t been much of a catch beforehand, but with a limp and a cane…” He gave her a self-deprecating grin, shrugging.

“You broke up, huh?” said Belle, and he nodded.

”She grew - resentful,” he said. “Restless. It was only a matter of time, really, the accident just made it happen sooner. She wanted money, good times, new places and new people every month. She never wanted the life I could give her. Such as it was.”

“You’re a very generous person,” she told him, and he smiled.

“With what?” he said. “I have nothing to offer. As she told me repeatedly.”

“Don’t say that,” she said firmly, and he shrugged.

“It’s true,” he said. “Milah wasn’t wrong about the facts, however cruel she might have been in the delivery. I have no money. No prospects. Nothing but the skills I’ve taught myself.”

“And a kind and generous nature, and a sense of humour, and a selfless heart…”

Gold chuckled, eyes glinting in amusement.

“You make me sound like a Jane Austen heroine.”

“Take it as a compliment.”

“Oh, I will,” he remarked. “I suppose there’s a lot to be said for trying to be kind in the face of adversity. However unheroic and unmasculine it might be considered by some.”

“As a librarian, I’m qualified to tell you that here are many different types of hero,” she said. “Besides, who cares about money and - and wild parties and things? None of that means anything. Not compared to family and belonging and making a life together. Milah was wrong to think it did.”

“Well, like I said.” His tone was wry. “We wanted different things.”

There was silence for a moment, and Belle took a drink, watching as the light caught on Gold’s hair, picking out gold and silver threads in amongst the brown. He glanced across at her, licking a droplet of wine from his lip, and she thought how handsome he was in the warm light, with his high cheekbones and his soft eyes, long fingers tapping against the wine glass. 

Another drink, the heat of the wine in her mouth, on her tongue. Gold took a sip of his own, lean throat bobbing as he swallowed. There were tiny flecks of new stubble on his jaw, and she licked her lips, wondering how rough it would feel, enjoying the sudden tug of desire deep in her belly. She had been analysing what she felt for him for several days, the growing fondness for his gentle ways and his kind nature, the attraction that pooled and swelled and made her heart thump. She wondered how it would feel to have him touch her. How he would taste if she kissed him.

Belle put down her glass, taking a deep breath, her skin tingling.

“So you said Milah left when Bae was four,” she said, and he nodded, glancing across at her as he took a drink.

“That’s right,” he said, setting down his glass.

“And since then, you’ve loved no one,” she said softly. “And no one has loved you.”

Gold stared at her for a moment, as though he was unsure what she had said, then slowly leaned forward, the couch squeaking a little as he moved. He was very close, and she could feel her breath quicken as his eyes bored into hers.

“Why did you stay with me?” he whispered, and she swallowed, the tip of her tongue wetting her lips.

“I - I wanted to help,” she said. “I thought - I thought you needed me.”

He lifted a hand, his movements hesitant, seeming to catch himself momentarily before gently cupping her cheek, his fingers sliding across her skin. Belle sucked in a breath at his touch, her heart thumping, and as uncertainty flickered across his face she put a hand over his, holding him there. He leaned in a little closer, until she could feel his cool breath against her lips.

“I do need you,” he whispered. “I need you, Belle.”

“I need you, too,” she breathed. “And - and I want you, Rum. So much.”

It was as though sparks were dancing between them, making her skin prickle and her lips part. His breathing had hardened a little, and his eyes were dark and deep, staring into hers. She could feel her pulse throbbing high in her throat, and she leaned in and briefly pressed her mouth to his, a gentle brush of soft lips. Gold sucked in a breath, a shiver going through him, and she kissed him again, lips pressing a little harder before she pulled back. He was staring at her wide-eyed, his palm still cupping her face, and he reached up with the other hand, fingertips brushing stray curls back from her face as he leaned in to kiss her again.

He was hesitant, a little breathless, his lips brushing gently against hers, his fingers sliding into her hair. Belle shifted closer, hands dropping to slide around his waist, and she moaned as the tip of his tongue gently parted her lips, pushing inside to stroke against hers.

Belle shifted closer, pushing him back against the cushions as the kiss deepened. Her heart was thumping, her cheeks flushing as their lips slipped and slid, Gold’s fingers stroking against the nape of her neck, tangling in her hair. She slid a knee across his legs, straddling him, and his hands moved down her back, tugging her close against him as he let out a groan of pleasure. She could feel the edge of his belt buckle against her lower belly, and she rolled her hips, sinking down a little and feeling the hard line of his cock pressing against her core. Gold gasped into her mouth, hot breath and wet lips against hers, and pulled back a little, breathing hard.

Belle nuzzled her nose with his, and he reached up to stroke her hair back from her face, running his thumb over her lower lip, his hands trembling a little. She kissed the tip of his thumb, catching his eyes with hers, her chest heaving as she slid her hands up his chest. He shook his head.

“I feel like I’m dreaming,” he whispered, and she smiled.

“Did you dream about this?”

“Too many times,” he breathed. “I never thought - never hoped you might—”

She kissed him again, and he let out a low growl, his hand clutching at her hair as the kiss grew hard and messy. His chest was hot and firm beneath her hands as they slid upwards, his hair just as soft as she had expected. She pulled her mouth from his, sitting back a little as she tried to catch her breath.

“Take me to bed,” she whispered.

He stared at her, his mouth a little slack, and she caught her lower lip between her teeth, suddenly uncertain.

“Do you - not want to?” she asked, and Gold’s eyebrows flicked upwards.

“Oh - no no, of course I do,” he said quickly. “It’s just - well - you’re sick.”

“I’m fine,” she insisted. “Just a little tired, that’s all. Going to bed would be the best thing for me, in the circumstances.”

He grinned at that, and inclined his head.

“I can’t argue with that,” he said. “But I didn’t see any condoms in Mayor Mills’ grocery box.”

Belle giggled, and kissed his nose.

“I take birth control,” she said. “So - so we could. If you wanted.”

He smiled briefly, his eyes glinting.

“I want,” he breathed, and kissed her again.

Belle undulated against him, pressing her body to his, feeling the heat of him through his shirt, and his hand dropped to her thigh, sliding upwards, moving over her hip to squeeze her rear. She pulled her mouth free, pressing her forehead to his.

“Bed,” she whispered, and slipped from his lap.

They left the wine, Belle grasping his hand in hers and pulling him with her up the stairs. The lamp was on in the bedroom, a pleasant, warm light, and she shut the door behind him, hoping that Bae was sleeping soundly and wouldn’t decide to wander around in the middle of the night. She stepped forward, reaching for him, and their mouths met, her hands grasping his belt and tugging it open as his hands stroked over her shoulders. Gold pushed the robe from her, and she quickly pulled the belt open and let it fall, stepping closer and rising up on her toes as she pulled her mouth from his and kissed down his neck.

He let out a low groan, head rolling back, and she reached for the buttons of his shirt, eager to open it up and bare his skin. Her hands shook a little as she unbuttoned him, and she trailed her mouth around his throat, breathing in the musky scent of him, feeling the scrape of his stubble against her tender lips. She got the shirt open, tugging it from his jeans, hands sliding over hot, firm muscles as she pushed it from him. Gold shrugged out of it, and she bent her head to his chest, letting her tongue swirl over a taut nipple and making him groan. His skin tasted of salt and very faintly of the shower gel he used. She breathed him in, nuzzling his skin with her nose, and tasted him again, sucking the nipple in between her lips.

Gold ran his fingers through her hair, rumpling her curls as she sucked at him, her tongue circling. His fingers gently scraped against her scalp, making her shiver deliciously, and she slid her hands down his sides, feeling the lines of his ribs, drawing her fingertips around the waistband of his jeans. She let his nipple slip from her mouth and raised her head, breathing hard as she plucked at the button of his fly. Gold cradled her face with warm hands, kissing her tenderly, his lips soft and wet.

She got his jeans open, breaking the kiss as she pushed them down over his hips, and stepped back as he kicked them off. Gold reached for her, hands gently grasping her hips and pulling her a little closer. His thumbs slipped beneath the shirt of her PJs, brushing against the skin of her waist and slowly pushing upwards, lifting the shirt. Belle raised her arms to let him pull it over her head and toss it aside, and she shook out her hair, watching him study her, his eyes roaming over her curves.

“You’re beautiful,” he whispered. “So beautiful.”

She smiled, reaching for him, stepping close and sliding her hands around his waist as she raised her head to capture his lips with her own. Gold groaned, hands sliding down to cup her rear and pull her close, her breasts pushing against his chest, his skin hot against hers. He pulled his mouth from hers, kissing down her neck, and Belle rose up on her toes with a moan of pleasure. The sensation of his lips against her skin made her shiver, and he pulled back, nuzzling her nose with his as he pushed her pants down over her rear.

Belle stepped out of them, turning and pulling him with her as she lay down on the bed. He stumbled a little, kneeling heavily on the mattress beside her before lying by her side, and Belle shifted over a little, reaching up to kiss him, hands stroking through his hair as he pulled her close. He rolled her onto her back, kissing down her throat, his hair brushing against her chest as he kissed lower, his tongue painting circles on her skin. His hands cupped her breasts, and Belle moaned, arching upwards as he sucked at a nipple, a low groan coming from him.

She let her head roll back against the pillows, eyes closed, enjoying the heat and weight of him pressing down on her, and the feel of his lips against her skin. He kissed lower, his fresh stubble scratching at her belly, and she sucked in a breath as his tongue swept over her navel, lips pulling at her skin. His hands slid down to her thighs, pushing them apart, and she opened her legs wider as his nose brushed against her tender flesh. Gold let out a low growl as he kissed her, and Belle answered him with a tiny cry as his tongue dipped in between her folds. She let her hands drop to push through his hair, moaning as he licked her, his tongue swirling and stabbing, brushing over her clit and making her skin hum with pleasure.

“God, Belle!” he whispered, his breath hot against her skin, and put his mouth to her again, his tongue circling, soft and wet. 

Belle moaned, arching her back, pushing against his mouth. He had settled into a rhythm, his tongue moving in slow circles, and she lost herself in the feel of it, letting the pleasure build deep in her core. His hand moved, a finger teasing her before sliding inside, pushing deep, and Belle gasped at the increase in sensation, her fingers tightening in his hair.

“God, that’s good!” she breathed. “So good.”

He was sliding the finger in and out of her, his tongue stroking against her, and she could feel the heat rise up through her body, flushing her cheeks and making her breath quicken. She whimpered, clutching at his hair, pushing her hips upwards, her body rocking against the bed in time with his thrusts. He had quickened his pace, his tongue flickering over her, and she could feel her muscles tense, her body tightening as her pulse seemed to pound in her head.

She came with a cry, shoving a forearm over her mouth to muffle the noise as a wave of pleasure broke over her. Gold groaned, drawing the finger out of her, his mouth covering her, devouring her, and she moaned as her hips jerked in tiny, rapid movements. He pressed kisses to her, lips trailing over her inner thighs before making his way up over her belly, and she slid her hands over his shoulders as he reached her breasts, his hands cupping, lips gently pulling at a nipple. His body was pressed against hers, and she could feel him against her thigh, a hard, heavy heat that made desire surge within her.

He pushed up on his elbows, breathing hard as he gazed down on her, and she reached up to push his hair back from his face, his skin damp and sticky.

“That was amazing,” she whispered. “You see? Very generous.”

He grinned, his eyes glinting.

“I could be even more generous, if you like.”

“Maybe later,” she said, sliding a hand down between them. “I’m in the mood for something a little more - mutual.”

She grasped his cock, feeling the hot, rigid length of him in her hand, squeezing gently, and Gold groaned low in his throat, a bass, rumbling growl. Belle ran the pad of her thumb over the head, spreading a bead of slippery fluid, and opened her legs a little wider, guiding him into her. His breath caught, the muscles in his arms tightening, and he let out a shuddering sigh as he pushed slowly inside her, sinking deep. She moaned, lifting her knees, sliding her feet along his thighs and up over his rear, wrapping her legs around his back.

He felt good inside her, and she lifted her hips, feeling the heat of him, the friction of his skin against hers as he began to move with long, slow circles of his hips, a rhythmic grinding motion. His hands pushed into her hair, fingers still sticky with her fluids, and he kissed her, his tongue gently pushing between her lips. Belle caressed his shoulders, running fingertips down his sides and up the groove of his spine to stroke through his hair. He shuddered, gasping into her mouth, his hands cradling her face, his lips brushing against hers as he thrust into her.

Belle moaned, head rolling back against the pillows, and he drew his tongue up her throat, sucking at her skin. The feel of him inside her was incredible, heat and wetness and the friction of his body against hers sending bursts of sensation through her. She kissed along his jaw, feeling the rasp of his stubble against her lips, drawing the warm scent of him in through her nose. She could feel bliss rising through her once more, swelling upwards and making her skin hum. Her thighs gripped his sides, sliding against him, holding him tight, and he groaned against her neck, his movements quickening, his cock pushing deep inside her. 

She could feel him tense, his muscles hard and taut beneath her fingers, and she bucked against him, tugging at him, a moan bursting from her throat and becoming a cry of pleasure as she came, stars bursting in her vision. Gold let out a deep groan, his cock pulsing as he followed her, his thrusts rapid and shallow as his hips pumped. She clung to him, letting out tiny moans in time with his thrusts, and he slowed to a stop, breathing heavily, hair brushing her face as he pressed his forehead to hers.

Belle tried to catch her breath, feeling the heat of him against her, perspiration making their skin slippery where their bodies joined. She tilted her head, gently brushing her lips against his, and Gold smiled, nuzzling her affectionately.

“Hey,” he said, and she smiled.

“Hey.”

He kissed along her jaw and down her neck, slowly pulling out of her and rolling onto his side with a heavy sigh. Belle turned with him, sliding a hand over his waist and down over his hip. She felt wonderfully relaxed, her skin still tingling from her orgasm, and Gold was watching her with a tender expression, his eyes heavy with sleepy contentment. She walked her fingers up his body, laying her hand over his heart and feeling its heavy thump against her palm. Gold smiled, putting a hand over hers.

“I’d forgotten how good it feels,” he whispered, sliding his fingers through hers. “To be touched. To touch like this.”

“It’s been a while for me, too,” she said, and his mouth curved in a lopsided grin.

“Has it been six years?”

“Well - okay, maybe not that long,” she admitted, chuckling. “But this was worth the wait.”

“Indeed.” He kissed her gently. “It was perfect.”

“Not bad for a couple of invalids,” she added, and he chuckled, his eyes gleaming.

“I’m still not entirely convinced this isn’t a wonderful dream,” he said. “And when I wake up, I’ll be alone again.”

“Well, I wasn’t planning on sleeping on the couch again,” she remarked. “Your bed is too comfy. And way better when you’re in it with me.”

“Good,” he said softly, and kissed her again. “Stay with me tonight, Belle.”

“I’ll stay,” she whispered. “I won’t leave you, I promise.”

[stahlop]

Once Upon a Time 2x22 “And Straight On ‘Til Morning” Review

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That was an amazing season finale. Emma and Regina used their magic together to save Storybrooke! Greg and Tamara kidnapped Henry to Neverland! Peter Pan has been looking for Henry since Bae was a kid! Belle and Sneezy got their memories back! Hook tried to double cross Emma and then felt guilty! Neal is alive! Okay, I don’t care for Neal, but I guess Henry needs a dad right? 

Summary: Emma and the Charmings come up with a plan to steal back the beans and get the whole town of Storybrooke back to the Enchanted Forest through a portal before the trigger kills the entire town. In Neverland, Captain Hook discovers that Bae is Milah’s son, and is torn between going after his revenge or making Bae part of his family.

Opening: Neverland Island

New Characters:

Lost Boy Leader: We don’t get a name for the leader who comes to Hook for Bae, but he’s creepy. These don’t seem like the Lost Boys we grew up hearing about. Plus he looks like he’s at least 16, which seems a little old to be a Lost Boy. They’re more like the kids from the Lord of the Flies. I wonder if time moving more slowly actually lets them age really slowly. Anyway, he and his cohorts come to Hook’s ship looking for Bae since the shadow dropped him. He keeps talking about a him that runs the island (which we find out at the end is Peter Pan). Hook hides Bae so they can’t find him, but Lost Boy Leader tells Hook that if they find out they’re hiding the boy he will rip his shadow from his body and does this really creepy RIIIIP thing. So, getting your shadow taken from your body is a bad thing. Good to know. In the end, they get Bae and it turns out the boy they’re looking for is Henry!

Character Observations:

Past Hook/Hook:

Hook is looking at a hand-drawn portrait of Milah. Smee makes a comment about how beautiful she was and that they’ll avenge her death. Dude, it’s practically your fault she’s dead. You let Rumplestiltskin know about the bean. I’m surprised Hook let’s Smee talk about Milah at all since he never knew her. But I digress. Hook thinks the boy that they pulled from the sea will be a perfect bargaining chip for him. Hopefully, that will be their key to surviving Neverland. Hook goes to talk to Bae and finds it odd that he doesn’t want to go to Neverland. He calls him a hero when he tells him about saving his family by going with the Shadow in their stead. Bae calls Hook out about not knowing what it was to be a hero, but Hook reminds him that pirates saved him. Bae reveals that his mother was killed by pirates and his father left him. He uses the words that he was a coward and that strikes something with Hook. He’s suspicious right off the bat and demands to know Bae’s name. He doesn’t want to give it, but Hook basically threatens him and when he confirms Hook’s suspicions, he tells him it’s a pirate's life for him. On first viewing, I figured Hook was upset because he knew this was Milah’s child, but after several viewings, I can now see, especially with the look he gives Smee, that the fact that he’s the Dark One’s son, is the bigger emotion that’s winning out. The Lost Boys are coming to the Jolly Roger and Smee is adamant that they give Bae to them, but Hook’s need for revenge is too strong and he will save Bae from them. The Lost Boys come on board and Hook is pretty confident when talking to them. He says he doesn’t know about any boy from the sea and the leader tells him that he’ll have his shadow ripped from him if he’s found to be lying. Hook keeps a smirk on his face the entire time and doesn’t seem bothered about what the boy is telling him at all. They are satisfied that the boy they’re looking for isn’t there and leave. Hook immediately looks to make sure Bae is okay (even though he knows the Lost Boys didn’t find him). Bae thought pirates only cared about themselves, but Hook tells him he has a lot to learn. They both smile at each other as though a new level of trust has been achieved. Hook teaches Bae how to steer the ship. He carves the directions into the ship to help him out, and even ruffles his hair when he does a good job. Aw! Hook subtly asks Bae about his father abandoning him, but Bae doesn’t want to talk about it. Hook relates his own story about his father abandoning him on a ship because he was a fugitive. That’s enough common ground for Bae to tell Hook his father is the Dark One and his dagger is where his power comes from. He tells Hook how his father chose his power over him and abandoned him. Hook seems conflicted about what to do with this information and what to do about Bae. Smee wonders why Bae is still on the ship and reminds Hook what he will do to them if they find Bae aboard. Hook reminds him that he is the captain and anyone who disagrees can walk the plank. Hook is angry that someone like Smee would dare to question his orders. Smee is just asking to be thrown overboard. I get that he’s the newest member of the crew (as this is only a few months after the events of The Crocodile, but he really needs to learn the hierarchy of the ship, the main one being, you don’t question the captain’s decisions). He’s also angry because he’s pretty much decided that he will think of Bae as Milah’s son, and not the son of the Dark One. Bae comes out and attacks Hook with a cutlass, because he found Milah’s picture on Hook’s death and has determined that he’s the pirate that killed her. Once he get the cutlass away, Hook tells Bae the truth about how much he loved Milah, how Rumplestiltskin crushed her heart in front of him, and how he’s wanted revenge ever since. Bae takes from this that his mother abandoned him too. Hook tries to convince him that Milah regretted it, that they were going to come back for him one day, and that fate obviously had a hand in bringing them together now. He wants them to be a family like Milah wanted. He’s practically begging, but Bae rejects him, accusing him of using him to kill his father. Hook tells him that he did, but his emphasis on the word ‘did’ makes it sound like that part of his life is over and he would give it all up for Bae. Bae is in tears and blames Hook for tearing apart his family (I mean, yes and no. He gave Milah the opportunity to leave her life, but she made the decision to leave). He even says Hook might as well have ripped Milah’s heart out and the hurt in his eyes is crushing. Bae wants Hook to take him back to the Darlings, but Hook tells him they can’t leave Neverland. Hook is hurting, and he’s truly upset that he can’t help Bae, but he does offer to have Bae stay on his ship under his protection. Bae would rather fend for himself. He tells Hook he wants off his ship and calls him pirate again. Hook looks devastated. He finally got a piece of Milah back and he’s rejected by him. Bae is ready to go and Hook questions if he’ll be able to survive on his own. He says he’s never had a choice but Hook reminds him that he has a choice now, to stay on the ship with him. They can be his home and family. Hook even goes as far as saying he can change for Bae, but Bae doesn’t think he’ll ever be anything but a selfish pirate. Hook looks like he’s going to cry with the warring emotions playing on his face (seriously, Colin O’Donoghue just nails Hook’s facial expressions so well). But he can’t show the emotion to his crew, so he reverts back to revenge-obsessed Hook, and that’s when the Lost Boys show up. Bae realizes the Lost Boys are there for him, and Hook confirms it because it’s what’s best for him and the Jolly Roger. Bae tells Hook he’s just like his father (choosing himself over Bae, which is bullshit because Hook tried to get Bae to stay with him but Bae rejected him, so sorry Bae, this is on you, not Hook), and Hook does not like that comparison at all. Hook aske the Lost Boy Leader if he will be pleased, but he just leaves. Hook looks down at Bae with the Lost Boys and you can see the regret on his face for reverting to selfish Hook so easily, but what’s done is done and he has to live with it. He cuts through the directions he had carved on the ship for Bae in regretful anger.

In Storybrooke, Hook is with Greg and Tamara in the mines where they are looking for something to activate the trigger. Hook questions who is telling them what to do and they inform him that it’s not his concerns or their concern. This raises Hook’s concern as they have no idea who they’re taking orders from. Tamara goes all religious about their cause on him before telling him about Regina’s trigger. Hook doesn’t seem too thrilled about the fact that they plan on killing the entire town and everyone in it. Greg reminds him that Gold will be one of the people killed, but it still seems more than Hook can stomach. Hook isn’t sure that Gold won’t be immune to this trigger, but Tamara assures him that all of ‘his’ kind will be taken out. They say they are willing to die for their cause, is Hook? Hook does not seem to like the fact he’ll have to die to exact his revenge, but he tells them otherwise. Hook goes to the loft to help Emma, David, Mary Margaret, and Regina stop the trigger. David immediately punches him in the face for the last time he ‘helped’ them (in Tiny), and threatens him with his gun. Hook doesn’t feel this is that threatening since they’re all about to die from the trigger as it is. Emma’s pissed because Regina told them Hook was working with Tamara and Greg, but Hook insists he’s changed sides (again), because he values his own life over his revenge. They come up with a plan for Regina to slow down the trigger in order for them to steal back the beans, and Hook just happens to know where Greg and Tamara are so he gets to help. David says he’ll go with him so he doesn’t try to steal the beans for himself. Regina and Henry have a nice moment and Hook is reminded of the things one goes through for their children when they care for them. David and Hook pull up to the cannery and go searching for Tamara and Greg (why wasn’t that David’s first thought as to where they might be?). David questions Hook’s motives, but Hook says wanting to live is motivation enough. They come across Greg and David just holds him at gunpoint asking for the beans, not even asking Hook to keep a look out for Tamara, who comes up behind them and tries to shoot David. Hook tackles Greg and the container with the beans break and they both go after them in the most ridiculous fight scene because Hook never uses his hook to help him out. Greg apparently gets away, but Hook has managed to snag one of the beans. David wants to get the rest, but Hook manages to convince him not to and steals the bean from Hook. Then there is this whole scene where Mary Margaret convinces Emma and the whole town to try to save Regina by putting the trigger in the portal instead, and they agree, and Hook’s not having it. He thinks they’re all mad (and he would be right, seriously, just kill Regina already. Let her die a hero so she can actually feel like she did something useful for once in her sorry life), and takes the bean from them. Emma desperately tries to appeal to him by telling them how alike they are and how he can change to by giving them the bean and being a part of what they’re doing. It seems to work, as he gives her the bag he had the bean in. He asks her why she’s really doing this and she tells him Henry’s father died. When she inquires who his father is and she tells him Neal (Baelfire), Hook looks distraught at the notion of Bae being dead, and probably at the fact that he’s letting Bae’s son end up alone because he totally swapped the bean out and has left them all for dead. He ends up having a change of heart when he sees the directions on his ship that he had carved out for Bae (or rather he feels guilty because Bae just died). Emma’s understandably pissed at him, because she thought he only cared about himself, but he says he just needed reminding that he could care for others. He gives Emma the bean. He looks adorably confused when Regina tells them they need to go because he thought they were saving the town. David tells them they already did. Emma tells him that Greg and Tamara took Henry through a portal and he does the right thing and offers his ship to them. Hook and Gold agree to call a truce, although neither one seems happy about it. Gold uses the globe that Cora gave him to track Bae in The Cricket Game and Hook recognizes that Henry is in Neverland. He looks both equal parts scared and relieved. He takes the bean and throws it in the water and they all hang on tight as the ship goes into it.

Regina: She has healed from being electrocuted which, I think was just that morning, so good job Mother Superior in your healing abilities. She’s happy to see Henry when they bring him home, but then an earthquake rattles the town and Regina confirms that the trigger has been activated. Henry realizes he’ll be alone and Emma insists that this is Regina’s fault and she needs to fix it. Regina is upset because she can’t fix it and Emma starts yelling at her and Henry doesn’t want him two moms fighting. Hook comes by to try and find a way to stop it, but Regina tells him there’s nothing they can do. She could possibly slow it down a little, but the outcome would still be the same, just slower. David has the idea to get the beans and get everyone to the EF while Regina slows it down. Regina takes this time to tell Henry she’s sorry she couldn’t be the person he wanted her to be, but she’s trying, and she loves him. Aw, look at Regina trying to change for Henry for the third time this season (which is seriously only about six weeks total, despite it moving from spring to winter within 4 episodes). Regina looks on the verge of tears during this whole speech to Henry. Emma and Regina go to the mines and find the diamond. Regina lets Emma know that delaying the trigger will take all the magic she has, and Emma figures out this is a suicide mission on Regina’s part. Emma thinks there must be another way, and Regina, finally, FINALLY, admits fault in this whole thing. She feels it should take her life since she created it. Emma wants to know what she’s going to tell Henry. Regina tells her to tell him she finally did the right thing. She wants to die as Regina and not the Evil Queen. She starts using her magic on the diamond. Regina is stunned when Emma, David, Mary Margaret, and Henry come down to the mines with the idea to put the diamond in a portal. Henry tells her that her dying for them makes her a hero, so they’re all going to be heroes by sending the trigger through the portal instead. But then Emma discovers that Hook took the bean and their plan isn’t going to work, and they’re basically all going to die except for Henry. Regina looks thoroughly saddened as Emma, Mary Margaret, David, and Henry give their tearful goodbyes. Regina reiterates to Henry that she wishes she was strong enough to stop it and that’s when Emma realizes that she and Regina together might be. And it works! But Henry was taken during the confusion. Regina and Emma get to the docks just as Greg throws a bean in the water and he, Tamara, and Henry all jump in. Regina is heartbroken, because there is nothing they can do to find him without a portal. Hook happens to come back with the bean right then, and Regina just wants to find Henry. She is thankful for Hook offering his ship, as he really doesn’t have to. Regina wonders where they took Henry when Gold uses his blood on the globe. She asks Hook where he was taken. I’m not sure if this was bad direction or editing and she was supposed to be asking Gold, or she just figured Hook was well traveled so he’d recognize it better, but it just seemed weird that she asked Hook. He tells her Neverland and they all look worried. They all hang on for dear life as the ship drops through the portal.

Gold: He is watching Henry swing from afar and notices the pointy boulders all around (weirdest playground design ever). Now, I’m not sure if the next part is all in his head or actually happening, and after several viewings I still haven’t figured it out, but he starts pointing his cane at the rope and making it frey. He is shaken out of his murder fantasy/possible actual murder when David, Mary Margaret, and Emma come to the park to speak to Henry. They wonder what Gold is doing there, and he says since Neal won’t speak to him he’s spending time with his grandson (from afar). David ends up telling Gold about Neal and he’s absolutely gutted. And bravo to Robert Carlyle because this is the most vulnerable we’ve ever seen him. He looks like he’s just about to open the flood-gates and he’s trying so hard to keep it together in front of David and Mary Margaret. They ask for his help in stopping the trigger, but he feels this is his  fault and his price to pay for bringing magic back to Storybrooke. Mary Margaret tells him they’ll all die, he’ll die, but he’s okay with that. He gets back to his shop to find the dwarfs ‘looting’ through stuff. Leroy informs him that Mother Superior finally found a cure for the whole losing memories while crossing the town line thing, you have to drink the cure from something that was meaningful. Gold is incredulous that Mother Superior happened to find the cure the day Storybrooke is about to self-destruct, but Leroy tells him that she’s been working on it all along, and it’d be better for Sneezy to know who he is and be with his family if he’s about to die. Leroy happened to get a dose for Belle too. She reminded him of who he was once (Dreamy), he wants to return the favor. He pleads with Gold to not let her die as Lacey. Gold reluctantly takes it. Lacey comes out and questions what just happened, but Gold tells her it was nothing. Lacey and Gold are drinking to the end of the world (why isn’t Lacey questioning what is happening outside?) when she spills her drink. She goes to clean it up with Bae’s shawl and when she doesn’t understand the importance of it, that’s when Gold finally realizes he needs Belle, not Lacey. He looks so sad in this scene. Like he couldn’t believe he didn’t automatically give Lacey the potion right off the bat and how selfish he was being about all of this. He gets the teacup pieces from out of his cabinet (the teacup was smashed way more than that when Belle threw it), and magics it back together. Lacey comments about it, but Gold puts the potion in the teacup and a glass (to make it look like it’s just liquor for both of them), and Lacey drinks it. She changes immediately, and Gold breaks down. They kiss and he apologizes for waking her up to die. She realizes that Neal is dead, and Gold cries to her that he’s failed. This scene was so nicely done. And while it’s definitely not the moment for Belle to be angry about how he used her as Lacey,  I hope they had this conversation after Storybrooke didn’t end. After Greg and Tamara take Henry through the portal, Gold and Belle just happen to be walking by the docks where it happened and find out what happened. David and Emma beg Gold to help them but he tells them it’s impossible. He tried for years to find Bae without a bean and he had to resort to a curse, so even being the Dark One has its limits. Fortunately, Hook decides to come back with the bean, and Gold has the globe to help them find Henry. He and Belle have an emotional goodbye as he tells her to stay behind and gives her a cloaking spell to put around Storybrooke so it will be impossible to find. She wonders how he’ll find his way back to her and realizes that he doesn’t plan on coming back. He reminds her of the prophecy and how Henry is his undoing, and he will do whatever it takes to protect his grandson and honor Bae. A complete change from the Dark One we’ve seen before, putting others before his power. Too bad he has to leave Belle now that he’s finally become the man she always thought he could be. Belle reminds him that the future isn’t always what it seems, so we’ll see how this prophecy plays out next season. They kiss and she tells him that Bae would be proud of him. He watches her go, probably for the last time. He gets on the ship, calls a truce with Hook, and finds Henry through the globe. David wonders who Greg and Tamara really are, and Gold informs him that they’re just pawns and even they don’t really know who they’re working for. Seems like Gold knows a lot about Peter Pan and he may be the only person he fears, which doesn’t bode well if the Dark One is afraid of someone. Guess we won’t be seeing a nice and friendly Peter Pan.

Emma: Everything that Emma does in this episode is so that Henry won’t have to grow up the way she and Neal did. She is finally acting like a parent and doing what is in the best interest of her child. She also seems to finally acknowledge Mary Margaret and David as her parents, at least when she thinks she’s going to die. She has to start by telling Henry about Neal’s death. Poor Emma, ever since coming back from the EF she has had to tell Henry about Archie’s death and about Regina killing him (which luckily, neither were true). They all arrive back at the loft where the first earthquake hits and Regina confirms that the trigger has been activated. Henry realizes that he will be alone since he’s the only one who wasn’t born in the EF. Emma lays into Regina about it being her fault and that she needs to figure it out, but Henry tells them they need to work together. Emma is not happy when Hook shows up to help them because he was working with Greg and Tamara. David comes up with the idea to steal back the beans, so while he and Hook go to get them, she and Regina will go to slow down the trigger while Mary Margaret and Henry go to tell the townspeople about the portal idea. Emma can feel the magic from the trigger as they get closer to it. She says it feels like the oxygen is being sucked out of the air. Regina tells her it’s the magic being sucked out that she’s feeling. Regina informs Emma that slowing down the trigger will take all her strength. Emma realizes that when Regina said goodbye to Henry, she wasn’t planning on making it out of Storybrooke. Emma thinks there has to be another way, she doesn’t want Henry to lose two parents in one day, but Regina says there isn’t another way. Emma doesn’t know what she’ll say to Henry. Regina tells her that she finally became the person he wanted her to be. Emma walks away and turns to say something else, but Regina starts working on the trigger, so Emma leaves to meet back at Granny’s. When she gets there David tells her he has the bean, but Henry wants to know where Regina is. Emma tells him the truth (for once), and Henry is distraught that Regina will have to die. Henry’s insistent that they can save her and brings up the wraith, which gives Mary Margaret the idea to send the trigger through the portal. Emma doesn’t think they should do that because there is no guarantee that it will work, whereas sending everyone back to the EF would definitely work. Emma doesn’t think anyone would agree to go anyway because of how risky it is, but Archie apparently speaks for the entire town and says they would follow the prince and princess. Emma still doesn’t think it’s a good idea. Mary Margaret asks for the chance to be a parent and do the right thing, but Emma is afraid Henry will be left alone, and she doesn’t want him to grow up like she did. And she says this directly to David and Mary Margaret who look upset, or course. Another earthquake hits and Emma is adamant about using the bean to get the townspeople through and not for the trigger. Mary Margaret is adamant that she still has to atone for killing Cora, but Emma reminds her that she had to kill Cora. Mary Margaret says she took the easy way out and they should have taken the hard path, and if they take the easy path they’ll be building a future on Regina’s blood. I mean, I don’t have a problem with that, but apparently, Emma does, or at least she has a problem with her parents thinking she’s okay with it, because she agrees. But Hook doesn’t and takes the bean from them. Emma uses the fact that they’re loners that only rely on themselves to convince him to go along with their plan, but it isn’t until she tells him that Henry’s father, who happened to be Baelfire, died that day, that he seems sympathetic to their plight. They go down to the mines and realize there isn’t a bean in the pouch. Regina tells them she can’t contain the trigger much longer and Emma realizes they’re all going to perish. She calls her parents mom and dad for the first time and they are all distraught. Emma finally remembers that she has magic and thinks that both she and Regina can stop this thing, which they do. Unfortunately, while they were doing that, Greg and Tamara kidnapped Henry. They run to the docks and find them jumping into a portal. Emma tries to go in after them but David stops her because the portal is closing. She needs to find a way to get to Henry but there are no options. Hook decides to come back and help them, much to Emma’s chagrin, because she wants to still be pissed at him for leaving. She thought he only cared for himself, but he says he just needed reminding and gives her the last bean. She’s shocked. She tells him that they have to get Henry and he offers his ship, which they all immediately get on with no provisions or extra clothes or anything. Emma shows her trust in Hook by giving him back the bean so he can use it to open the portal. And they are off to Neverland.

Mary Margaret/David: They are basically still very optimistic that everything will work out. After they tell Gold about Neal’s death they expect that he will want to help stop the trigger, but he doesn’t, and they’re in shock. David comes up with the idea of stealing back the other two beans to get the whole town back to the EF through the portals (and he gets to punch Hook right before the idea hits him). He and Hook go the buddy cop route to get the beans back. David points his gun at Greg but doesn’t see Tamara behind him who shoots at him (and grazes him), before he runs after her. She trips and falls but Greg saves her before Hook comes and stops David from going after them, because he has a bean. David is a bad cop. I mean, I know he has no formal training whatsoever, but he couldn’t have told Hook to look behind him and make sure Tamara didn’t get the jump on them? I mean, that’s basic cop training 101. Anyway, he steals the pouch that Hook put the bean in. At Granny’s, Emma has to tell Henry about Regina’s sacrifice, which neither Henry nor Mary Margaret are happy about. Henry mentions how they rescued Regina from the wraith and that gives Mary Margaret the idea to put the trigger into the portal. Emma isn’t too keen on this idea because there is no proof that it will work, but Mary Margaret is still feeling guilty over killing Cora and feels she still owes Regina. She thinks she took the easy path by killing Cora, and she’d rather take the hard path, and helping save Regina with an unproven method is the hard path and will help give her closure. She also guilts Emma about it by saying that this is a chance for her and David to be good parents by helping Regina. Ugh! Emma finally agrees. They all go to Regina and fill her in on the plan and she has the same reservations as Emma, but Hook has stolen the bean so it’s all for naught. Mary Margaret and David realize the gravity of the situation when Emma calls them mom and dad and wait for the end to come. Luckily, Emma helps save the day with her magic. Somehow, in the blast that happens when Emma and Regina stop the trigger, Mary Margaret and David lose track of Henry and he gets kidnapped. They’re all running around looking for Henry and find that Greg and Tamara have jumped into a portal with him. David has to stop Emma from jumping in after them because it’s closing (very similar to when he tried to jump in after Emma and Mary Margaret in Broken). Hook comes back to help save the town but David tells him they already saved it in a very superhero-type way. David stays back to untie the ship (when did Hook tie the ship to the dock, he just docked?), and overhears Gold telling Belle the town isn’t safe. David says they can’t leave people in danger, but Gold has that covered. David leaves the conversation when it starts becoming a little more personal between Gold and Belle.  As the ship heads toward the portal, David questions who Greg and Tamara are. Gold tells him they’re merely pawns, and the person they’re working for is someone to be feared, which doesn’t bode well for our heroes.

Greg/Tamara: They’re pretty much idiots. They’re willing to die for their cause, even though they really don’t know what it is. They think they’re trying to rid the world of magic, but they don’t even know who they’re working for. Eventually, they figure out that Henry is the real prize for their boss and somehow manage to kidnap him. And then they use magic to open up a portal to go to somewhere where there is most likely magic, so they’re also major hypocrites. I hope we aren’t chasing them all next season.

Henry: He’s all about the Regina love in this episode. I get that she raised him, but this little love fest that he and Regina have been having lately is completely contradictory to how they’ve been all season. Henry has barely seen Regina because she’s been too busy trying to kill his family, but he believes her outright when she says she loves him and he tells her he loves her. Last season he didn’t believe she loved him whatsoever, that’s why he went and found Emma in the first place. So, their whole relationship in this episode was super weird. I know Henry doesn’t want her to die, but they also don’t have the type of relationship for him to not let her try to be a hero. That’s exactly what he’s been wanting her to do all season. And then he manages to get himself kidnapped and taken through a portal.

Questions:

How does Smee know the Lost Boys could hurt or kill them? When they come on board the ship, the leader asks Hook if he knows who they are. How does Smee know what they could do if they’ve never officially met?

What playground is Henry at? This is not the playground Regina built in Fruit of the Poisonous Tree.

Who builds a playground with a wooden swing and sharp rocks all around it?

What kind of app is Greg using that is navigating the mines and telling him where the dwarfs pickaxes are?

Why does Smee wonder why Bae is still aboard the ship? It’s not like the Lost Boys have come back for him since they checked the ship the first time.

How do the beans not activate when the glass bottle they’re in shatters? Do they specifically have to be thrown by someone with the intention of opening a portal to work?

When did Gold go back for the teacup pieces? He left right after Belle threw them against the hospital wall.

Seriously, Hook, you have a hook. Why aren’t you using it against Greg to get the beans?

Where are the townspeople that Mary Margaret and Henry were supposed to be gathering? The only people we see are Archie, the dwarfs, and Granny. Are the rest of them waiting somewhere else? Why are Archie and the dwarfs making decisions for the amount of people in the town?

I get that Emma doesn’t want to lose her family, but is there a reason she can’t leave Storybrooke with Henry to prevent him from being alone? Why does she have to stay and be killed with everyone else? I’m sure her parents would understand needing to go with her son. Hell, even Regina could have left town with Henry.

At what age would Bae have been old enough? He’s practically 15 by this point. 13 probably would have been a decent age to go back for him.

Where does Bae think Hook is going to drop him off when they can’t leave Neverland?

I get that Bae is angry, but why does he think Hook’s a selfish pirate? What part about having a home on his ship and being a part of his family says selfish?

If Hook had already called the Lost Boys, what was he going to say to them if Bae had taken the offer to stay on the ship? Would he have told the Lost Boys Bae was off limits?

Where did the backpack that Mary Margaret is wearing come from? She doesn’t have it in Granny’s, but then she has it when they go to Regina in the mines? Did they stop at the loft for some reason to pack up some things? Is it her purse? What is it and where did it come from?

Here’s what I’m wondering about the trigger. Why would Regina make a fail-safe that would kill her too? She had no way of knowing if she would be allowed out of the town’s borders. How does the trigger know who to kill? Does it have some sense that only kills people from the EF? Even though Henry was born here, both his parents were from the EF, so why wouldn’t that include him. Does the trigger only work in the town that the curse was in? Or does it feed on magic in general? Why not just throw it over the town border where there is no magic for it to suck up? Otherwise, sending it through a portal into another place with magic doesn’t make sense either, because wouldn’t it just suck the magic there?

How did Greg and Tamara manage to not only kidnap Henry, but get him out of the mines without him screaming and struggling? And how did they know the exact moment that the trigger would blast everyone back for him to get taken in the first place? Too many logistics had to take place that just could not have happened.

Why are Gold and Belle just strolling along the docks? The trigger just got stopped, 5 minutes ago, and they’re taking a stroll? I’d think they’d be doing more important things now that Belle has her memories back and they’re no longer going to die.

How did Phillip get away from the wraith? Will we see this story next season?

Wouldn’t it have made more sense to be below deck when going through the portal so they don’t accidentally fly off the ship?

Observations:

Hook has a slight limp in the past with no explanation (yes, he’s still recovering from his skiing accident in real life, I get it).

The Lost Boy Leader has a pretty nasty scar on his cheek. 

It’s nice that the trigger gives people time to save themselves and doesn't just make the town immediately explode. That must have been for Regina’s benefit to get herself out of town if she ever felt the need to trigger it.

I’m pretty sure Hook pockets the bean before they even go to Granny’s when they show him putting it into his leather pouch. It looks like he puts it up his sleeve.

A hair from Pinocchio’s head, someone who was returned to who they used to be, is the key ingredient for the memory potion to bring back Sneezy and Belle’s memories.

Hook’s reflections about his life and revenge don’t always jive. In The Evil Queen he made it sound like death would be welcome once his revenge was had as he had nothing else to live for. In this episode he tells David he would prefer to keep living rather than kill Gold.

Mermaids aren’t nice as Hook refers to them twice as being a curse to men in the ocean.

It’s not possible to leave Neverland even if you’re in it’s waters.

Hook has a pretty good throw, considering they have to go at least two ships lengths to get to the portal.

Portals in the water are much bigger than on land.

So that was the season 2 finale! We are off to Neverland for season 3 so that sounds exciting. Greg and Tamara need bad things to happen to them. Hook is along for the adventure! Moe Hook is always good. Maybe this adventure will mellow him and Gold out about their feud. Oh, and Neal is alive. Why? What more does he need to do and how is he going to do it from the Enchanted Forest?

Please leave comments and reblog! Let me know if you’d like to be tagged in future reviews.

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[mystical-flute]

Black Coffee & Pumpkin Pie Ch. 6

Ao3 || Ko-fi

"I don't want too much information to get out," his father said, having pulled Sheriff Nolan to the side. "He does not want my ex to find him. And frankly, if I see her again, I don't guarantee I won't do something rash."

 David nodded slowly, a look on his face that said he expected Aiden Gold to say that. "I understand, Aiden. Do you want to make any sort of announcement here?"

 His father frowned slightly. "I think it may be necessary. You know how some of the reporters and, ah, private investigators can be in this town. Robin can do it… he’s due to make one soon anyway.”

 "I'll speak to Robin then, and get back to you."

 "Thank you, David. I appreciate it."

 "Of course, and congratulations. I'm glad your son is finally home."

 As David walked off, Neal rose to his feet. "I… should probably tell Emma the truth before the speech. She's probably wondering where I've been."

 "Of course, son. You enjoy your night. We can talk tomorrow…?"

 Neal nodded slowly. "Yeah, I don't have a shift tomorrow, so I'll meet you at your shop. Thanks… papa."

 And with that, he made his way back to where Emma was sitting with a small plate of appetizers.

 "There you are, Neal. Is everything okay?" Emma asked with a frown. "You looked a little shaky when you left."

 "Emma… there's something I need to tell you. I'm Baelfire Gold… the missing kid you were talking about earlier."

 "You wh – "

 "I'm Baelfire. I've known I was Baelfire my entire life. I came here to find out the truth. I'm sorry I didn't tell you before but – "

 "Hey, it's okay. I get it. I mean, I don't know all of the details, but I get why you wouldn't want to just tell a waitress that you were essentially undercover," Emma said, taking his hand gently and smiling. "But, uh – just tell me what name you like better. Just so I know what to call you."

 He laughed, squeezing her hand with a grin as his heart pounded against his ribs nervously. "Honestly, I've been living this life as Neal for only a few years now, but… honestly, I think I like it better than Baelfire. No offense to my dad."

 "I'm sure he won't be offended, I'd bet he's just happy to know you're okay."

 "Yeah. He's not nearly the monster I was told he was. I knew they had to be lying, but I just… needed time to see it for myself."

 She nodded. "Yeah, I mean, Mr. Gold is intimidating, but he's always been kind to my family and I. He said he understood my father's reasons for wanting to keep the old farm in the family. Understood what it really meant to come from nothing and claw your way into being successful."

 "Really? What happened to him?"

 Emma shrugged. "Whatever he's told my dad, my dad's kept secret."

 "Fair enough," he said with a soft chuckle. "So, uh… do you maybe want to go on a date with me?"

 Emma's brow furrowed. "You mean this isn't a date?"

 Neal blanched. "I – uh – I wasn't sure – "

 She laughed. "Hey, don't worry, I'm just kidding. But yes, I would love to go on a date with you, Neal Cassidy."

 A relieved laugh escaped him. "Okay! Great! Uh… how about dinner at Tony's?"

 "I think that sounds like fun. But, I have a question for you now."

 "Hm?"

 "Are you sure you don't want to come to New Oreleans with us? I really do think it'd be fun to have you there."

 Neal smiled. "I'll think about it. Thanks. Your friend kind of caught me off guard with the question before."

 Emma laughed, rolling her eyes playfully. "She was trying to set us up. She's been on me about you since you came to town. Just ignore her. She's mostly harmless."

 "Takes more than an overzealous friend to scare me away," he grinned.

 “If I could have everyone’s attention for a moment? I have a quick announcement. First of all, I just wanted to thank everyone for coming and supporting the Fireman’s Ball. Your donations will help us order better equipment and keep ourselves safe. But this night is also a night to celebrate!” Robin’s voice rang out in the ballroom, to a wave of cheers. “The harvest, the first responders of Storybrooke, this Fireman’s Ball has meant a lot to this town for many years. However, tonight, we have one more reason to celebrate. Sheriff Nolan informed me moments ago that the case of Baelfire Gold has been solved.”

 Stunned murmurs broke out among the crowd, and Neal noticed Zelena Mills looked a little incredulous at the thought.

 “Baelfire has found his way back to Storybrooke himself… and is now going by the name Neal Cassidy.”

 Somehow, all pairs of eyes in the room found him in an instant, and it took all of Neal’s courage to not immediately hide under a table, managing instead to wave weakly at the shocked crowd.

 The rest of the night was a blur as people welcomed him home, offered help, expressed anger at his mother and stepfather, and all he could muster were words of thanks and a shrug when asked about what Milah could possibly have been thinking.

 But despite the attention on him, he had his father. He had his new friends. He… had Emma.

 “Neal…” she hummed as she dropped into a chair next to him. “Thanks for inviting me. I’ve really had a great time tonight.” 

 He grinned, glad to get a break from talking to random townspeople as the ball began to wind down. “No problem Emma. I’ve had a great time too. And… thanks for inviting me to crash your New Orleans trip.”

 She giggled again. “It’s not crashing if you’re invited, is it? But… I should get going. My dad needs me to help him on the farm in the morning. I’ll see you soon?”

 “Yeah, of course. Just let me know what time is good for you for our date,” he replied with a grin.

 “Of course. I’ll text you and let you know,” she said, pressing a quick kiss to his cheek, both of them blushing a bright red when she pulled away and walked off toward her family.

 Neal’s hand pressed against his cheek, almost in a daze.

 “Had a good time tonight, son?” his father’s voice suddenly cut into his hazy mind.

 “Oh - uh - Papa. Yes, this was a lot of fun. I’m sorry to blindside you with this in public.”

 “You have nothing to apologize for, Bae. You made this dull event much important to me.”

 Neal smiled softly, rising to his feet. “Thanks, Papa. It’s getting late, I should probably head back to the inn.”

 "The inn? You don't have a place to live yet?" his father asked, sounding almost offended at the notion.

 "I've been looking, but it isn't like Storybrooke is an urban sprawl. The old woman at the inn's been nice enough. Free breakfast in the morning, a comfortable bed, a view of the forest..." he shrugged. "It's not the worst place I've ever slept in."

 Aiden huffed. "Well, now that I know you're my son, you'll be moving in with us as soon as possible."

 Neal glanced at Belle, who was simply smiling in support of his father’s idea.

 "Aiden's right. We're family, we should be together. And besides, we, you two especially, have a lot to catch up on. It'll be easier to do it under the same roof," she said.

 "Okay…" Neal sighed, biting his lip. "I can move in tonight, if that's okay. I don't have a lot of furniture or anything like that. Or at least get some clothes and finish moving in tomorrow.”

 His father and Belle exchanged a quick glance, then nodded in agreement.

 His father’s house wasn’t what he expected. It wasn’t the size - no, he expected it to be one of the largest houses in town - it was the color. The inside was surprisingly modern, although it still had a classic feeling with some of the decor. Family photos and bookshelves took up most of the room in the family room, and it was clear by some of them that his family were seasoned travelers, Neal’s heart aching with the realization that he’d missed out on all of this.

 In the guest room, Neal sighed and undid his tie, dropping it on his bed as he stared at his open suitcase. He was already dreading unpacking. Maybe he could just - 

 "Dad's talked about you a lot, you know."

 He jumped, looking over at the younger brother that had suddenly appeared in the room. "Oh. Uh. Has he?"

 "Yeah. He always celebrated your birthday. Even with mom and I. I always thought it was kinda weird having a birthday for a kid that wasn't there. No offense."

 "None taken. I imagine it's a bit weird to have a brother that you've never met," he said, rubbing the back of his neck. "Especially one who was supposedly a sort of unwitting celebrity."

 Gideon shrugged. "Yeah, but you've actually turned out to be a pretty cool person. It's really badass that you saved Bobby and Adam from the mines. I got lucky enough to escape the mines without calling you guys."

 Neal raised a brow, giving Gideon a stern look. "You aren't going to go back into that mine after everything that's happened, are you?"

 “Well not now that I know you’re a firefighter!”

 “C’mon kid, you shouldn’t be down there at all. Those mines are closed for a reason,” Neal said gently. He didn’t want to step on his papa’s and Belle’s toes about the mines, but he didn’t want to see his brother get hurt.

 Gideon rolled his eyes. “You don’t understand how dull this town is, you’ve only been here a couple of months!”

 “Sure, but there’s gotta be something better than going into a closed off mine. Isn’t there a sport or something you could play? Band? Mathletes? Anything after school?”

 “I like science. My friend and I got into a really hard after-school program with one of the local professors. I’ve been doing that since the school year started,” Gideon explained. “But that’s why I wanted to go down into the mines… to see if there were any cool rock formations down there. I thought if I found something I’d get into the program.”

 “But you got into the program on your own anyway,” Neal said. “So I don’t see a need for you to head into the mine anymore.”

 Gideon scuffed his toe against the carpet, before nodding reluctantly. “Alright, fine. You’re right. I shouldn’t go into the mine after what happened to Bobby.”

 Neal gave him a weak smile. “Just know I’m not trying to be boring, it’s just, I’ve never had a brother before, and I’d rather not lose you so soon.”

 Gideon laughed a little. “Yeah yeah. I’ve never had one either.”

 “Tell you what. I don’t have work tomorrow, so we can hang out all day if you want.”

 “Actually, I have plans tomorrow. But uh, thanks for not being so boring,” Gideon replied with a grin and running a hand through his hair. “Maybe it won’t be so bad to have a brother around here.”

 Neal chuckled. “I guess it’s better now that you know I’m not lame, huh?”

 “Gideon, come on, it’s getting late. Let your brother breathe for a moment, won’t you?” Belle chuckled as she entered the room, changed out of the golden dress she’d been wearing and opted for a set of pajamas. “Come on. Get changed and get ready for bed.”

 Gideon slumped from the room, but Belle stepped inside and closed the door behind her with a kind smile on her face. “Are you settling in okay?”

 “Uh - yeah. I was just looking for my pajamas myself. Thanks again, by the way. Where’s my papa?”

 “He’s using his spinning wheel in the basement. He just needs a bit of time to adjust to having you back. He’d been so worried about you for so many years, to have you home… it’s just as overwhelming for him as it is for you so, don’t take it personally,” Belle said with a smile on her face, before she looked over at a photo on the bedside table. “Oh! Is this your family from New Orleans?”

 “Yeah, that’s my mama Eudora and my sister Tiana and I when I graduated from the fire academy.”

 Belle smiled. “They look lovely. Bae, your father and I were talking, and we thought it would be nice to have them up this way for Thanksgiving.”

 He blinked in surprise. “Really? I was planning to fly back there but… I can talk to them and see if they’d be willing to come up.”

 He didn’t doubt for a second that they would.

 “Of course. Well, I’ll leave you to finish unpacking, shall I? You should get some rest yourself. There’s a bathroom just down the hall on the left if you need it.”

 “Thank you, Belle. I really appreciate this.”

 She gave him another smile and left the room. 

 Neal exhaled heavily and grabbed his pajamas from the bottom of his suitcase, intent on getting his nightly routine finished. Once he changed into the grey checkered pants and grey top he wore, he made his way to where he thought Belle had mentioned the bathroom was, and paused.

 This was not the bathroom. It was a nursery.

 His nursery, judging from his name he could just make out thanks to the light of the moon, written in pretty calligraphy on the wall above the crib.

 “Get lost on your way to the bathroom, dearie?”

 Neal turned to his father, who had suddenly appeared beside him. “Oh - Papa… uh - yeah, sorry… I didn’t mean to - ”

 “No, no. Don’t apologize. This was your room, after all. Come on, come inside. I’ll show you what your mother left for me to remember you by,” Aiden said, flicking the light on and illuminating the light blue room.

 Neal tried not to wince at the jab at Milah as he took in the surroundings.

 Aiden leaned into the crib, pulling out two hand-knit stuffed toys, one a rabbit, the other, a wolf.

 “My mothers made these for you. You loved them, and were fussy whenever you didn’t have them beside you... especially at night.”

 Neal’s eyes widened, recalling Killian jokingly saying Neal had been the fussiest baby he’d ever met. If he’d loved these toys so much, it was no wonder.

 Aiden then moved over to the bookshelf, gesturing at what was left. “Most of these were given to us by Mary-Margaret and Colette, Belle’s mother. Mary-Margaret was pregnant with Emma at the same time Milah was pregnant with you.”

 “Did - did Milah give Mrs. Nolan anything in return?”

 “Not that I recall, but that was Milah. Selfish and cold to anyone who couldn’t help her with her own goals.”

 Neal rubbed the back of his neck. “Right…”

 Aiden went quiet for a moment. “Bae…”

 “Hm?”

 “Do you know where your mother is? I’m not asking for myself but… David has been working with the FBI for many years on your case… if you tell them where she is, we can end this whole ordeal.”

 “I don’t know, Papa. I was raised on a houseboat, going up and down between the Carolinas. It’s been almost seven years since I left. They could be in Seattle by now for all I know. I’m sorry.”

 Aiden sighed. “No, of course. I should have expected underhanded tactics from someone who is on the run.”

 “Belle says you were interested in inviting Mama and Tiana to Thanksgiving,” Neal said, desperate to turn the conversation to something light.

 “Oh - yes, I am. You spoke so highly of them, I thought I should meet the women who actually cared for my son and gave him the tools to find me. You don’t mind, do you?”

 Neal grinned. “Of course I don’t mind, Papa. Mama said before I left that she was really interested in meeting you, too. She had a hunch that you weren’t as bad a guy as Milah said you were. I’m just sorry it took me so long to get here.”

 “Don’t blame yourself. Never blame yourself for what your mother did. What matters now is that you’re home, and that we have time to get to know each other without her poisoning our relationship.”

 “I’d like that a lot, Papa.”

 Aiden and Neal sat in the nursery, talking until the early birds began to chirp outside. When Belle found them the next morning, Aiden was asleep in the rocking chair, Neal’s head on his knees, both looking more peaceful than they had since their long ordeal began.

[darkerdeariegold]

So, I need advice on how to play Rumple. IDK I’ve had my confidence in how I play him shaken because it feels like I need to justify WHO he is as a character right now a little too much. 

I mean, this is how I see him and if you’ve got the patience to read it, thank you. But primarily I’m looking for feedback. For people to tell me if I’ve completely misunderstood the character I’ve felt closest to since day one. Because honestly, if I don’t KNOW him, then who the fuck does, right?

He wasn’t always after power. That’s my primary thing. When you look at young Rumple all he wanted was his Papa to love him. He grew up neglected, emotionally abused and then was abandoned FOR power. For me, that was the start of a very skewed relationship with power itself, but it didn’t make it his automatic driving point. 

Growing up he was content with the small things, as we see. He was content to just be around his Dad and, when with the Spinsters, he thrived when he was getting praise for his natural spinning skills. Growing in to a man there was no indication that he wanted power; far from it, actually. He was happily married, settled in to a typically feminine job of spinner and doing all he could to provide for the woman he loved. He was just living his life like a normal man.

Then comes the battlefield and the things the seer told him. Now, people can say he was selfish in wanting to get out of battle but he was THERE. He was afraid, but he was there. He made no efforts to actually run from battle, instead accepting that he would likely die the next day, UNTIL the seer told him about him about to be a Father. Back comes rushing all of the ways he felt about his own Papa and how he was abandoned. The pain, the feelings of not being worthy. For me, injuring his leg so he survived and hobbling miles home (humiliated and called a coward) was a selfless act. He made that choice not for himself but for his son. He will have known that he would be considered a coward. Perhaps even known Milah would be angry that he’d brought that shame on them. But he was willing to shoulder that so his son wouldn’t grow up without a Father like he did. So his son would grow up knowing he was loved by the man that was meant to do anything for him. Which he quite literally did.

He even bargained away any future hope of adding to his family in order to save Bae. Was that impulsive? Yes. Was it selfish? Yes. But it came from a desperate man doing desperate things. Desperate is a theme we see running through his character right from day one. He’s desperate for love, desperate to be a Father, desperate to do right by his boy. So desperate that he constantly self sabotages himself because he doesn’t fully think through the consequences or, when he does, decides to take on the negative consequences for that one positive.

He even shouldered the pain of Milah walking out on them so his son could grow up never feeling abandoned like he had done. He was selfless time and time again. What would his son care about his humiliation at being left? He wouldn’t. So telling Bae that Milah was dead wasn’t to spare himself, it was to spare his son’s feelings.

He even took the Darkness on for his son. The very quotes state that he tells his son to imagine what he could do with that power, how he could protect him. How he could save ALL of the children. Not saying the power aspect wasn’t tempting but to pretend that his motivation wasn’t skewed more in favour of actually saving his son’s life is to not understand his character at all.

When Bae used the dagger to control him what did he do? He wiped his son’s memories of it and let his son believe he was a monster, all to save his own heart from darkness. That’s not selfish, that’s selfless. Even with the darkness he was still putting his son first.

Then comes when he fucked it up; letting go of his son’s hand in his moment of weakness. He had the taste of power then, he knew that he was a more formidable man now than he had ever been before. He could walk properly! He could provide for his son! He could have anything he wanted without the struggle. People came to HIM for deals, people knew he was capable. He’d gone from being mocked for being a coward and a cripple to being feared for his power. That’s addictive and heady for anyone to handle. What he did in letting go of Bae was his first real selfish act and it was a shitty thing to do. Something he immediately regretted but there went his impulsive nature again; acting sometimes before truly looking at the consequences.

What appears to be at least a hundred to two hundred years pass by and he dedicates himself to finding a way to find his son. He even manages to confront his own Mother during that period, showing his own fears and pains when it comes to being abandoned. Pan had done it and so had Fiona; Rumple was damaged by it and by abandoning his own son like he had done was damaged further. He sacrificed his chance at true love to find his son; he did it in a cowardly way, but that’s the root of who he is in the end. He’s vulnerable and he’s afraid, and the darkness gives him a shield from all of that.

When he did let his guard down with Cora she only broke his heart and tricked him; to him being vulnerable is a weakness, yet when it comes to love it’s one he can’t help. IE when he’s reunited with Belle he doesn’t hesitate in telling her he loves her because his initial impulsive reaction to shoo her away so he can find his son (without even contemplating that he could balance both if he just learned to trust her) was the wrong thing.

He learns from his mistakes. Maybe not immediately, and he damn sure repeats some of them but he does learn. He’s not JUST a power hungry, selfish assholes. Jesus, the man DIED to save his son and Belle. (and the rest of the townsfolk but that was just collateral).

See, I think he’s very much an introvert with extrovert qualities because of the darkness. I think the Darkness is his mask, his way of hiding those introverted qualities that make him feel insecure and less than and he uses the darkness as a way of being what he thinks is an untouchable force. But I look at him and I see those introverted qualities because I have them too. Only trusting and caring for a handful of people but boy when he does, he does with his whole heart. He has little hobbies, has an addictive personality and tends to hyper-fixate on things. 

Zelena - I fully believe she was indeed in love with him and he knew it too. He needed someone to sacrifice who they loved for his curse which is why he cast her aside. No point being the one she loves and who needs to die for the curse he needs! What he did to her was cruel, but I also fully believe that when she had him captive she abused him physically, emotionally, mentally and sexually. You see that from how he recoils from people’s touch after that, how he genuinely seems afraid when people are in his personal space. He was reduced to a shell of himself by her which is why he acted out after it, did the shitty things he did and power grabbed. Because the moment power is taken from him, he’s hurt. The moment someone sees a weakness in him, he’s hurt. So to Rumple, psychologically I think for him power isn’t just for the sake of power. Power is to keep safe. Power is to make sure nobody can hurt him. 

We do see further hints of how he’s capable of being a hero and selfless though when he is willing to fight a damned bear (Merida) to protect Belle. Armed with nothing, with his limp too, he’s willing to die to save her. Again. Don’t tell me those are the actions of a selfish man. Don’t tell me that he’s JUST a power hungry asshole because he is so much deeper than that.

When he finally (and I’m skipping through a lot of the show because shit man they kept going back and forth with him at one point which is basically a mix of bad writing and Rumple being damaged and desperate) had his chance at being a Papa again Belle decided to listen to whatever the fuck was going on with Gideon and was going to keep him from his own son. His actions with keeping her on the boat and the bracelet were not appropriate, no. They were however his way of trying to get control back. Of trying to have this second chance that he was so desperate to have. He’s a Papa, and when he’s good at it, he’s GOOD at it. That season was a clusterfuck of bad writing though because Belle was wildly ooc at times (befriending her husbands abuser?!?!).

ANYWAY. What I’m trying to essentially say is that how I play him is how I see him. He makes mistakes, he doesn’t like a lot of people and that Darkness (as we saw with Emma) is a corruption that you have to be mentally strong to overcome. He controlled it. He didn’t try to kill everyone with it like Hook did, did he? He’s not quite as weak as everyone says, nor is he as villainous as some want to just pigeonhole him to be. I play him as a man that’s capable of enormous amounts of love, is very much ‘ride or die’ and will threaten to cut you if you so much as look at the woman he loves the wrong way. He’s a dedicated if overbearing Papa. But he’s also impulsive, he also is selfish and he also feels like he needs the power of the Dark One to be safe and strong. He doesn’t seem to see his own natural strength and courage and instead relies on shows of power, schemes and plots. He can be underhanded, he can be even downright cruel to the right people. He is vengeful, he is broken and he is a goddamn hero in his own way. He is sarcastic and sharp, he is humble in some ways and absolutely egotistical in others. He is abused, he has been abandoned and he has been a lousy parent at times. 

What I want to know, please, is if people see him differently and if I need to be playing him differently? I don’t want to do an injustice to a character that means the absolute world to me. An ask, anonymous if you want, would really be appreciated. Thank you if you read my ramblings this far and thank you for any advice and tips you can send my way.