#but man this is one of those ships that has what people love about popular subtext f/f pairings but is also canon

[booasaur]

Special Ops: Lioness

[matchingbatbites]

"What the fuck did you do?"

Eddie wasn't expecting hostility when he answered Jeff's phone call, his best friend's usual calm demeanor replaced with open annoyance. And yeah, okay, the annoyance itself wasn’t new, but Eddie doesn’t think he’s actually done anything recently to earn it.

"Well-"

"Actually, no. I'll tell you what you did. You retweeted photos of Steve Harrington - internationally beloved heartthrob actor Steve Harrington - along with the caption 'not to sound like a subby slut but GOD I would be his puppy baby boy in a heartbeat'. So I guess the better question is, what the fuck were you thinking, Eddie?"

Eddie's jaw clicks shut because- yeah, he had done that. Had seen those photos of Steve smoking circling the internet and spent god knows how long just staring at them, had curbed the desire to shove his hand down his pants by posting a single thirst tweet about it.

“I was thinking, Jeff, that I'm allowed to post whatever I want to my private fucking twitter, man. I mean it's a free country, isn't a guy allowed to make a horny tweet about a sexy man every now and then?”

“You are, when you actually post it to your private account and not our award winning band's main account.”

No. Oh no. There's no way Eddie actually-

He rips his phone away from his face to open twitter, and realizes two things simultaneously. One, Jeff is right, he had posted it to the band's account. Not on his private, locked, personal account, but on the account that's actually open and free for literally anyone on earth to look at.

The second thing he realizes is that their notifications are currently flooded with responses to Eddie's tweet, somehow racking up into the thousands in the few hours it's been since. 

Jesus Christ.

“Eddie?”

The metalhead jerks back into the moment and put Jeff on speaker so he can scroll through the horde of replies, says “Fuck, I fucked up. Are we gonna have to do damage control on this?”

In the mess is a reply from Gareth's own personal account: @ corrodededdie stop tweeting from the band account challenge 🙄🙄🙄

”Maybe. There hasn't been any type of response from Harrington or his people, but they might ask us to take it down if it blows up too much.“

Eddie hums, thinking they might be too little, too late about it blowing up too much, and flips over to his main account so he can reply to Gareth's little jab appropriately. He isn't surprised to see that he has a couple of new messages, probably from other people wondering just what the fuck Eddie was thinking, but when he goes to check them-

He's never been happier that he turned on messages from followers only, because then he would have missed this, missed Steve Harrington's little profile picture beaming up at him from the screen of his phone, along with a new message request.

”Jeff, I gotta go,” he says, not even realizing he's cut the other man off.

“Eddie, what-

”Harrington messaged me. I'll call you back.“

Eddie doesn't wait for a response as he hangs up on Jeff, and his hands definitely aren't shaking as he opens the message from Steve. And listen- Eddie is a fan of the guy, that much should be obvious. 

Steve had grown in popularity around the same time Corroded Coffin had; he’d gotten some part in a drama film that had skyrocketed him into stardom, and Eddie fell in love the moment he saw that gorgeous face on the silver screen for the first time. He's never had a chance to interact with the guy, has been in the same place a few times but always missed him, like ships passing in the night, but Eddie's been fine with pining from afar, just like every other person on the planet that's even remotely attracted to men.

Besides, even with how popular Corroded Coffin has gotten over the years - a couple of Grammy’s here, a dozen chart topping metal songs there - Eddie doesn’t expect Steve to just. Know who Eddie is.

With all of this in mind, Eddie is expecting some kind of semi-casual request to take the tweet down, that it's not a good look for his image-

Anything other than what Steve actually sent.

'If you're puppy baby boy, does that make me Master? Or Daddy?'

And Eddie- 

Eddie slides down, sinks into his couch cushion as all of the blood in his body suddenly shifts, rushing to fill his dick like it's a fucking race. The phone almost slips out of his hand and he fumbles it briefly before taking a deep breath. 

Is Steve serious? He wouldn't send that if he wasn't serious, right?

This could be it, could be Eddie's one chance to impress Steve, to get his foot in the door of Steve's interest. He bites his lip and types out a reply, something quick that he sends before he can change his mind.

‘I’m open to either, actually. Do you have a preference, sir?’

He doesn’t expect the typing indicator to come up immediately, and just knowing that Steve is somewhere right now, typing out a response to Eddie, is enough to have him nearly vibrating in his seat.

‘I’m partial to Daddy, myself.’

Fuck fuck fuck.

Eddie takes a breath, tries to think of a response that isn’t just ‘Please, Daddy, can I sit on your massive dick that I haven’t been able to stop thinking about since that one indie film you did that just had all of your junk out in the open?’

Steve saves him by sending another message.

‘But maybe we could start with Steve, and possibly dinner? Though I’d be happy to see where things go after that.’

He- What-

Eddie must have stopped breathing, because the next time he takes a breath his lungs burn, his mid races because there’s no way Eddie’s long term celebrity crush just asked him on a date. He sits there long enough that the screen goes dark and he scrambles to turn it back on, sees the message still there, real and unchanged.

There’s no way he can say no to this, to Steve, and his hands shake as he types out a response.

‘Dinner would be great. Just name the time and place, Daddy.’

[shima-draws]

OK, so thinking about a Sanlu au where Luffy is a Pirate King who gets so many marriage requests but does not want to get married. And so he instead insists that he gets to choose his partner through a contest where all the princes and princesses of like the countries around them or other pirates can like bring him a meal and if he likes it, you get married. The problem is that whenever people bring him food he'll just eat it and move on.

And so obviously the vinsmokes are like. Oh s***, we should get in on that. New Ally? And so they try with some of Sanji's others brothers, but none of them like work because they just made their cooks make their meals and everything.

Then eventually sanji, who wants to escape hears about this. And he knows that he can cook so he makes this amazing meat dish He is ready to present his meal towards the Prince in hopes of like maybe escaping his country and living there with Luffy. But like as he's on the way there, there's like this little girl who's starving, and so he gives her the meal instead. It was a one in a million shot anyway.

Anyway, either Luffy sees him doing this or if this was like the true test for kindness for all his partners, and sanji passes the test. Luffy's like get bring this man to me! So sanji goes before him, and luffy asks if he has a meal for him. All sanji has is like, this old sandwhich that he made for himself for the journey here, and sanji tells luffy that. Luffy tells him to bring it to him anyway, and after a lot of protests, he does. Luffy finally eats it and says that its delicious. He and sanji definitely get married.

Sorry for dumping this on you, but your artwork made me literally fall in love with sanlu so I wanted to share this middle of the night idea with you lol.

SCREAMING CRYING THROWING UP ANON THIS IS EVERYTHING.......I'm a SUCKER for AUs like this, ones that kinda give off that Cinderella vibe? The whole 'Well if I have to get married to a random stranger I'm gonna do it my way' trope is always so fun to explore

Luffy's one requirement for a spouse being that they have to cook well is SO on brand for him tbh. I feel like that's something that would be canon too. (Thinks about a situation like that in canon where Luffy's like well nobody can cook better than Sanji so I'll just marry Sanji! And Sanji double takes like wait what hold on a second--)

Even funnier would be if Luffy just met Sanji's brothers and was like. I don't like their vibes they seem mean. And all three of them being SO offended at that lmao

SANJI GIVING HIS DISH TO A STARVING GIRL THO AAAHGFHFHF THAT'S SO. CLENCHES MY TEETH he's so selfless and giving he would absolutely give up all of his dreams just to make sure someone doesn't go hungry I am GOING to cry. And Luffy immediately noticing that, pointing at Sanji and going "Him. I want that one" AGHHH 😭😭😭

ALSO YES THE CALLBACK TO WCI with Sanji's little lunch basket...the food is a total mess it's been rained on and dropped and looks awful but Luffy eats it anyway and says it's delicious...and Sanji's like oh oh oh I think I'm in love with him. Uh-oh.

DON'T APOLOGIZE THIS IS SOOO ADORABLE I'm so glad I got you hooked on Sanlu they are so underrated!!! Going slightly off topic here but I think it's really funny how predictable I am when it comes to getting into new media. Step 1 I watch a show and slowly discover who my Favorites are. Step 2 I end up shipping those favorites together. Step 3 I make that everybody else's problem. Also that ship almost always ends up being the less popular one for some reason?? Which is SO funny to me. Looks at Trustedpartner/Diode, Yujikiri and Tododeku as the most obvious examples of this along with Sanlu

ANYWAY anon I really want to write this can I write this. No guarantees to me actually finishing a full blown fic but oh my godddd this is such a cute idea and is so in character for both of them I'm weeping real tears

[reggieslocket]

prepare yourselves because i'm going to give you a bunch of reasons and hints that will show you the high chance of eddie being actually gay and him and steve becoming a thing >:)

1. "freak" as a queercoded word

let's start with the scene where dustin, robin, steve and max find eddie in the house where he was hiding and particularly on the dialogue between the five of them

there's this scene where eddie says something about how the people in town are getting ready to hunt him because they think he's guilty and he says "hunt the freak right?" and we see robin giving him an almost sad but understating look before replying "exactly" and i find it curios that they made her respond that out of everyone, i feel like it could be because she kind of relates to eddie's situation? she also would probably be considered a freak by people if they knew about her sexuality and that's why i believe the word has a queercoded meaning, if you think about it, "freak" was already used in the past seasons when bullies made fun of will, who also happens to be a queercoded character (even though we know he's coming out this season)

2. the handkerchief code

the handkerchief code gained popularity in the 70s and later on in the 80s and it was used especially by gay men to let others know their sexual preferences and fetishes. there were different and specific meanings depending on the color of your handkerchief and where you decided to put it (left pocket or right pocket)

now if you watch closely eddie can be seen wearing a black hanky in his left pocket throughout the seven episodes and of course these little details have their own meaning, in fact the black one was used to indicate S&M (sadomasochism) and as mentioned before the fact that it is placed in his left pocket isn't casual because that placement indicated that the person wearing it was a top (the dominant one in bed) while if you put it in your right pocket it meant you were a bottom (the submissive one)

this whole hanky thing made quite sense for me except for the fact that it was hard to believe that eddie is into sadomasochism but then rewatching the show a few days ago i noticed some handcuffs in his room and i found it weird because honestly what is a 20 year old man doing with those? he's not a cop or anything and so the fact that they are in his room is a bit strange for me... i just hope that the choice of making eddie wear the handkerchief isn't casual but a powerful move by the duffer brothers in order to hint at his sexuality

3. joe and joseph's interview

this interview really do be getting my hopes up. basically the interviewer asks joe what season one steve would think of his season four self and he replies with "surprised, approving... approval" WHILE looking and smiling at joseph who is also grinning, like there's no way they aren't hiding something and i hope it's the relationship between steve and eddie and steve's bisexuality. plus the fact that even maya is smiling while it seems like natalia is the only one able to be subtle about the whole thing lmao

then obviously there are steddie-antis saying that he would be approving of him and nancy getting back together but like... what should he be approving of? they were already a couple in season one so it wouldn't make much sense

4. gaten ships them as well

remember: if gaten ships it then it's canon

i love how the first couple that came to his mind is steddie and how proudly he says their names. he seemed so serious while saying it that it made me reflect on the fact that it's not that impossible seeing it happen and if not in season 4 maybe in season 5 since i read somewhere that luckily neither steve nor eddie are going to die in the last two episodes of this season (i don't know if it's true but let's hope so)

5. the chrissy-eddie thing

almost everyone who hates the fact that we headcanon eddie as gay will give the same explanation that he is clearly straight because he was flirting with chrissy and honestly i didn't see that as flirting at all, i just thought he was being really nice to her like he is to everyone. she was having a hard time and he was able to make her laugh and loosen up a little, i didn't find it as something romantic and furthermore who says that every interaction between a man a woman has to be romantic?

like friendship exists as well people?? and don't try and say "tHeRe cAn'T bE sO mAnY qUeEr cHaRaCtErS iN oNe sHoW, iT's nOt rEaLiStIc" like trust me it's more realistic having a group of only (or almost) queer people than one where everyone is straight and i know the show takes place in the 80s but gay people existed even then but they just couldn't openly say it so stfu

6. steve's attempts to find a girlfriend

we all know mama steve is trying his hardest to find a girlfriend but none of them really "suists" him right? what if eddie is the person that suits him? i mean it would be epic if he spent two seasons trying to find a girlfriend and then he ends up with a dude lol, i'd like to see bi steve happening so bad and i just know that robin would be super supportive of him and my boy dustin would be the happiest person on earth if his two dads got together

you can't tell me that they aren't developing a little crush on each other or that they don't care about each other, just look at eddie's face and his loving eyes in that scene and steve staring at eddie's lips for the whole time. i swear if they are really trying to get nancy and steve back together i'll start a riot because honestly they would be so forced, it wouldn't be good for both of their character development and also my boy jonathan doesn't deserve this, they made jancy dirty this season and i'm still pissed ugh

anyway if you read the whole thing ily and thanks for coming to my ted talk :)

[helsensm]

I cannot hold it in anymore I am absolutely OBSESSED with your art and the way you draw Lao.

I also would like to inquire….. just perhaps… what are your top head-canons for him, and/or your opinions on popular ships for him/which ones you like?

No pressure!! I hope you are having a wonderful day 🧡

me, trying to act normal every time an awesome artist I look up to says something nice about my art

Thank you so much! first of all, please take this Lao with you, he's yours now~

now let me preheat my bad english.....

Most of my Lao headcanons (if they are not related to a particular art I made) were yoinked from another ppl, because DAMN FELLAS your brains are sexy. 😏 So you might have heard some of them already, but here's my top general hcs for him.

NOTE: we are talking about the current timeline mk1 Kung Lao

- Lao is very expressive with his hands and he's THE TOUCH person. Just look at how many times he took Raiden by the shoulder in the first chapter alone?? He'll be pushing, and patting, and shoving, and punching you all over while telling about his breakfast or something.

- Lao is struggling with inferiority complex. Since childhood he was under a tremendous amount of pressure, he has to do things right, to be better, or else he would be mocked or punished. Now he believes that he should be the best, or he would not be taken seriously. He's constantly seeking validation in his peers, causing him to act cocky and over-confident.

- Anger issues, usually when someone questions his skill.

- People call him lazy because he tries to act like everything comes naturally to him. In reality he trains hard and takes things seriously. Like, he's fighting with a RAZOR RIMMED HAT fgs, it's not something you can master in a day! Also he always got energy running through his veins, lucky bastard... *cries in iron deficiency*

- He makes his hats by himself. With his hands. He designs and creates. ALL of them. I will die on that hill.

- He's a slow to trust, but ride or die as a friend.

- He's a trouble maker FOR SURE, but not a bully. He's respectful and polite to most of the people (if they don't provoke him), also drinks his respect-women juice.

- Master of sass and sarcasm. And yes, I think he swears, but in the right circumstances or the right company.

- He's got rizz NOW, but in his teens he had zero game because he could not keep his mouth shut and would scare off the person with the most ridiculous piece of idiocy.

- I read it in one fic and really loved the idea that Liu Kang "told the blossoms" about Kung Lao, and they really liked him 🌸 so now they are following him around and bringing him news and gossips, that's why there's always those goddamn petals aroung him aasghGHHHj 🌸🌸

- He's rolling his eyes at Johnny, but they quickly become besties.

- He actually has a cold relationship with Liu Kang. Don't get me wrong, he trusts him, respects the hell out of him and will run into a wall for a man. But I think Liu will distance himself because of all the memories of HIS Lao and how badly they sting. oTL

- That smile and a bow Lao did after loosing to Raiden? He meant that. Loosing hurted BAD, but the pain was pushed aside by the sence of pride and happiness for his best friend.

oh shit, this is getting out of hand, I'm starting to think about the other timelines and dynamics, we'll be here all week hhhhgh

About the popular ships... Well, I'm a big fan of railao (yeah NO SHIT who would have thought), but I am a multishipper, so I'm just happy to see my fav characters feeling good in someone's hands. 😊

I really like the liulao and laoliutana for several different reasons. 👀 The johnshilao (or is it laojohnshi..? erm) was the one that didn't impress me at first (love the Lao just third-wheeling with a tired expression <:'D), but recently I'm starting to warm up to all the different dynamics these three can have. And that is, in no small part, thanks to you and your kenlao agenda 👀💖 damn you created such a nice cozy universe for them I'm 🥺💕💗💖

Bi-Han/Lao is a bit random, but I love how catto did them, they are such a cute pair of assholes! >:3

ummm, yeah, so I'm going to stop there ahahhH. Thank you again for asking and for all the nice little feels your art provides, I admire you tremendously~

[carrotsofthepirabbean]

I will say I think part of the reason OG Kirk isn't more popular on Tumblr is because he can't be crammed into the 'If one part of a ship is the unemotional logical one the other one MUST be the bouncy himbo sparkle softboy' cliche. Kirk can be goofy and has a good sense of humor, he teases and laughs, but speaking in Lord of the Rings terms, Kirk isn't Pippin, he's Aragorn.

Which is SO much tougher for the 'must distill every variety of character into the same 5 different people' crowd on Tumblr. There isn't an 'Aragorn' slot because 'incredibly complicated' isn't descriptive enough for cliche. Like yes, he's charming, but it's the quiet sort of charming. Yes, he's a strong athlete and a fighter, but he's fundamentally a shockingly huge nerd and spends his private time reading poetry and thinking about philosophy and what it means to be a leader. Yes, he's haunted, but he has a fundamental hope that keeps shining through. Kirk's got a serious job, and he's a serious person. He's an Adult kind of adult. He's one of the last survivors of a horrific genocide. He's killed people with his bare hands.

Spock wasn't bowled over by how bright and shiny and cuddly Kirk was. Because underneath everything, there's a fundamental sadness and loneliness to Kirk, and a simmering possibility of rage that most people would consider Abnormal. And Spock shares those qualities, though for different reasons. The thing that really shakes Spock (besides Kirk's iron sense of loyalty) is that there are times where KIRK is more coolheaded and professional than Spock is. In everyday terms, Kirk is easily and confidently emotional in a way Spock was always taught was a weakness, but when the shit hits the fan Kirk gets this shine of cold, calculating, James Bond-like brutality/practicality that not only meets Spock's Vulcan control, it will at times go PAST it. Surviving that genocide gave Kirk access to both a level of iron-willed 'do whatever is necessary to live no matter what' and a level of genuinely bloodcurdling rage that, when death is on the line, reads sometimes like a Vulcan on steroids. In a battle-type situation Kirk has absolutely looked at Spock and snapped like 'for god's sake, control yourself', and that is some whiplash a Vulcan doesn't just get OVER.

At the very start OG Kirk is already both wildly famous for and frighteningly good at being a commander, better than Spock is by miles, which forces Spock to confront his self-hate fueled 'Vulcans are better' prejudices over and over again until Spock has a starry-eyed admiration for Kirk that knocks him so hard into love that Spock's teeth rattle. Kirk isn't Some Soft Boy that grows on Famous Vulcan Spock against his will. Kirk is the most talented Starfleet officer in generations- He's Horatio Nelson, except not an imperialist asshole. Spock is (at first) just Some Science Guy who managed to nail one of the most coveted jobs in Starfleet.

Like, what is Tumblr going to do with a Kirk (who is supposed to be the bouncy soft boy half of Spirk) who looks coldly at an alien who is killing people and without hesitation goes 'I am a military man, we have a mission, we don't have time to understand motivations, kill that thing' and calmly walks off? And then Spock, (the unemotional logical one) is the one going after him going 'please, this is a thinking creature, it could be scared or hurt, think of its feelings, at least let me try to talk to it'. And like, the big lesson of the episode is KIRK being convinced by Spock to care more and be more empathetic?

Like, that's not some shit Tumblr can fit into its 'five acceptable personalities for every single ship ever'. There isn't a category for 'one is the logical one and the other one is the guy in charge on the battlefield that the men point their swords at while yelling "to the king!"'

But, it does make me a bit sad, because god, the relationship between Kirk and Spock is unique. Because Kirk is SUCH a freak. If there's a fictional personality grouping Kirk is a part of it's like Kirk, Chris Evans' Captain America, Aragorn, and nobody.

I super agree! AOS Kirk fits the bill more for the ship dynamics tumblr focuses on (and I do really love Chris Pine's performance, not half because it was what introduced me to Star Trek in the first place), but I do find TOS Kirk more intriguing because he has such layers. He's scarily competent, youngest captain in Starfleet and it's not like you get in that position by being a sunshine flower boy - he's got a streak of cold practicality that, yeah, is super apparent in Devil in the Dark. But he's also warm, loving, and physically affectionate with his closest friends, professional with his subordinates and his duties, calculating with his enemies, and overall an exceedingly intelligent individual who does not take his position and responsibilities lightly. And in terms of his relationship with Spock, it was all those things that drew Spock's respect and interest, and not (checks notes) his being a "bouncy himbo sparkle soft-boy". He's just a wonderful character <3

[scintillyyy]

can i say something. i am kind of scared to say something bc dick ship wars kind of scare me even though i have absolutely no preference and care extremely little about dick ships. but. hm. the thinking about 80s and 90s medias as products of their time got me thinking a bit.

so. the interesting thing to me about dick-kory in the 70s and 80s vs dick-babs in the 90s and early 00s os how much each of those couples was entrenched in the media ideals of the time and what people were looking for in a ship.

so like, if you look at dick-kory, theirs is a larger than life love that is destined from the moment she kissed him to learn human language. and theirs is a dynamic and relationship dripping in the popular soap opera tropes that were very pervasive a the time. you can't actually divorce their tribulations (dick being kind of condescending to kory as the Man of the relationship, she's a princess who has to get married for political reasons and dick gets mad, kory gets mad at him for supposedly cheating when he was raped by mirage, the epic wedding that gets literally blown up by raven to name a few) from the media norms that were very popular. they fight passionately and make up passionately very frequently. this is a very common dynamic in the 80s, where soap operas were topping the charts. everyone was watching general hospital. *30 million* people tuned in to see luke and laura get married and their relationship started with him raping her (which was later turned into "seduction") and they were considered like THE couple ever. everyone was watching dynasty. dallas was hugely popular. falcon crest. knots landing. dick and kory's relationship mirrors a lot of what people were eating up back then in the soap opera type media the new titans was emulating. luke and laura. gary and valene. bo and hope. bobby and pam. dick and kory. can you really talk about dick and kory if you don't know what was going on with "bope" back then? for reference, here's what was going on with bo and hope:

anyways. enter the 90s and the soap opera fervor died down in a massive way. soap operas were no longer prime time material and their popularity died down in a massive way & actually people started more making fun of the overwrought storylines and soaps in general. the ideas of destined, one true love was suddenly far more unappealing to people who thought it was cheesy & tired. what people in the 90s were looking for was not true love that is constantly tested and put through the wringer--what was gaining in popularity was UST and will they won't they dynamics. enter dick-babs. and while i wholly disagree with the idea of diminishing kory's importance in dick's life just to uplift babs, i don't entirely disagree with the notion that kory probably wouldn't have really worked in batbooks, so i understand why batbooks wanted to focus on a loveline for dick for a character they had full control of and could work into the stories. and, hm. moving dick away from the destined one true love at the time that was kory allowed them to put him in the romantic situations that 90s audiences were vibing with instead. because you can't suddenly do a will they won't they with a couple who's been solidly dating for *years*. so with dick and babs you're able to do that. he's interested while she's dating someone else. he flirts with someone else for a bit while she's single. while the entire time they're still good working partners while circling around each other. will they? or won't they? and this was super common in late 90s/early 00s sitcom shows that people loved and were at the top of the charts. the x-files with scully and mulder. friends with rachel and ross. fran and mr. sheffield from the nanny. it's still very much playing to what people wanted to see back then.

anyways as someone who truly has no horse in this race i do think media norms of the time around couplings are interesting to dissect.

[mae-i-scribble]

I rewatched a few of the early episodes of spyfam today bc getting to see the movie gave me an itch to scratch, and in particular episode two made me finally able to conceptualize what about fandom twiyor that irks me so deeply. If you like widespread fandom interpretations of them I would uh, look away bc none of my opinions on it are positive.

Episode 2 of the spyfam anime remains one of my favorites because of all the little flourishes the studios add to sell you on Yor as a character while also expanding a bit on the manga's original commentary on the stigma that follows older single women. What draws Yor and Loid together as a family is that neither of them are capable of having conventional relationships. Both of them are war orphans forced to grow up far too soon and who threw away aspects of their humanity to fight for what they believe to be a better world. While Loid's position as a spy and mastery of deception allows him to avoid the stigmas that would come from the ordinary person discovering what he does, that is not something that holds true for Yor, whose weakest point is that she simply cannot understand "normal." She's aware of the way her coworkers demean her and insult her but can do nothing about it because her only conflict resolution skill is murder. She is constantly reminded that she is an outsider, hence why Loid's declaration at the party is so meaningful to her, and what convinces her to ask him to continue the facade as a married couple.

Underneath it all however, is a quiet showcase of amatonormativity that drove both Loid and Yor to their arrangement. Eden requires a student to have a perfectly nuclear family. Societal conventions dictate that Yor, happily single at 27, is someone pathetic (to her coworkers) or someone in need of help (to her brother). Marriage is an expectation that Yor is pressured to commit to, and a societal requirement that Loid must uphold for the sake of his mission. And while this showcase begins in episode 2 it is something that spyfam continues to highlight when it comes to the expectations both Loid and Yor struggle to meet when they try to hard/become to anxious over what is "expected" as a married couple vs what the other person is actually thinking/feeling.

Now, what the fuck does this have to do with fandom you ask? Here's the thing. Spyfam reached the broad range of anime fans when it exploded in popularity, which is when I started engaging with it beyond just comments on the latest manga chapters. Modern fandom already has the issue of classifying ships into tropes rather than actually like, shipping characters as they are. And that's exactly what happened with twiyor. People began going "oh my gosh this is the moment she fell for loid," "oh he's so in love with her just look at him," before we had even reached episode 10. Which was incredibly frustrating to me because clearly Loid and Yor are not anywhere near in love that soon in the story- and the basis for that frustration starts in episode 2 for me. Because Loid and Yor's marriage is one that is unconventional from the very beginning, and it is that factor that defines their dynamic an allows them to function as healthily and sweetly as they do. People don't need to be in love to be married or to be a parental unit. None of that requires romantic love, it is simply an expectation of our society, the same sort of expectation that cripples Yor and makes her think she has to find a partner, then that she has to find a husband to appease those around her. Seeing that completely erased in a large portion of art/commentary/fics written about them angers me because its something baked into the foundation of their dynamic and something I feel enhances them as a potential romantic pairing rather than detracts from it. But we can't have that because of course a man and woman living together and caring for a kid fell in love almost immediately.

And don't even get me started on how people misinterpret Loid for their far more romantic interpretations of his motivations and relationship with Anya and Yor or else I will start losing teeth from how hard I am clenching my jaw

[sweet-evie]

Satoru, Suguru, Sukuna, and Choso in a Rock Band AU... I need my brain to shut up about this and I need to quell my thirst!

✨ masterlist ✨

I could have used J-Rock artists as prime reference, but... listening to my own playlist got me into this mess.

The band lineup in my head:

Sukuna on Drums

Choso on Bass Guitar

Suguru as Lead Guitarist & Main Backup Vocalist

Satoru as Rhythm Guitarist & Lead Vocalist

All of them can scream sing and growl, but...

Sukuna is the best at death growling + gutturals. Think Nergal from Behemoth.

Choso is a false chord scream king. Plus, for some reason, he sings like Corey Taylor in my head.

Suguru is 100% a pro at fry screaming. Also sings like Alex Varkatzas probably.

Satoru probably screams and growls like Andy Biersack or sings like M. Shadows or David Draiman... I can't decide. Although, can 100% picture him belting out The Vengeful One.

Anyways...

Satoru and Suguru are power duo lyricists... Like, they're so good at writing songs together. The themes in each album always defer, but they're really good at hammering in a message (subtle or overt) into every song.

Also also, picture Satoru and Suguru singing into a mic onstage, taking the entire crowd hostage with those never-declining face cards, fingers flawlessly gliding over the frets, pressing on the strings, playing their guitars in perfect harmony. 😩 LAWRD HELP ME, I WANT THEIR TONGUES IN MY MOUTH. 😭

Them playing these guitar solos on 3:21 - 3:55... Satoru doing rhythms at 3:21 and Suguru comes in at 3:36...

From debut, Satoru became extremely popular for never showing people his full face. The fans have never seen his eyes. Yes, he performs with a blindfold on, and during interviews, his eyes are always covered by his signature dark sunglasses.

His eye reveal was in a music video. It played a part skyrocketing the band's fame. And when the band performed live after that music video, Satoru is playing onstage without a blindfold or sunglasses on. Cue the infinite rizz.

Fans always rave that Satoru looks so innocent and cute when his eyes are on full-display (man belongs in a romcom movie) and he's not performing or screaming like a demon into the microphone.

Even after the eye reveal, Satoru still performs with a blindfold on most of the time, and he takes it off with extra flair and drama when the fans ask for it during a concert.

Satoru is very playful when interacting with fans -- a far cry from his onstage persona.

Also, fans are so tickled and pleased that for all his screaming and growling in songs and concerts, Suguru is actually very soft-spoken when he's just talking normally.

Suguru has a tongue piercing and the sexiest dragon tattoo sprawled across his back.

Need I mention the fans love the way Suguru says Satoru's name? Even in this AU, the fans ship SatoSugu. 😝

Suguru is also the one band member who gives insightful answers during interviews. Like, it's always deep with him, much to Choso and Satoru's amusement, and Sukuna's irritation.

Speaking of Sukuna...

Sukuna never wears a shirt during concerts. He has tattoos and he's showing them off like no one's business. Imagine him pounding at those drums, tattooed face, chest, and arms in full display, eyes blazing, tongue out and everything. [DON'T YOU WANT TO LICK HIM? 😜]

Sukuna's the drummer, but he has a microphone too, because he's the best at death growling and they have songs where they get into that.

No one plays drums like Sukuna can. It's a running gag in their fandom that Sukuna had four arms in another life because how in the fuck can he do what he do?

Sukuna is also famous for getting shit-faced before an onstage performance. For some reason, he plays perfectly fine even when he's inebriated or high. It's a flex! 😩

By contrast, Choso and Suguru eat super healthy.

Satoru is always on a sugar-high. Did we expect anything less?

Satoru and Suguru will write really dark songs and they will hand over the vocals to Sukuna, because it fits him so well. Kinda like this:

Satoru may be lead vocalist on paper, but all the boys in this band can sing, and they're all hot when they do it. 😝

The fans love it when Choso goes apeshit on the microphone. I imagine him singing this and it's a treat every fucking time!

Choso is baby. 😝 He's so cute and always looks out for everyone behind the scenes. The band has filmed backstage documentaries before, and the fans who've seen those love Choso so much because he takes care of all the members.

Choso plays bass and each time he has a solo in the song, it's a guaranteed eargasm. 😩🙏 Can he finger me the way he fingers that bass please?

Choso is so sweet to the fans... Always gives them attention even when he's not supposed to. (e.g., when he leaves his house and he finds them outside the gate). He just can't be mean!

Satoru and Suguru are fan service kings! Like during concerts, they don't shy away from getting super close to the crowd. They're also multi-tasking kings, because imagine playing an instrumental solo, singing, and doing crowd work at the same time.

The four of them are trolls! Satoru and Sukuna are the biggest trolls and menaces. Suguru goes along with whatever Satoru wants, and Choso tries and fails to be responsible.

They are well aware of the baseless rumors around their songs and performances (that they're spawns of hell, they worship the devil, etc.), and they play into it to annoy the haters some more and give them fodder. Hate comments are free publicity apparently.

Dating any one of them will either be fun and chill, or just outright chaos. No in-between.

I don't think Sukuna would date anyone though. He strikes me as a pump-and-dump type of man. Hooking up with him means a grand time in the sheets, but it's only good until he gets bored. After he gets bored, it's done. Bye!

Choso would treat you right, no questions. He makes time and does whatever you want to do. You want to workout with him? Okay! You want your own personal concert? Why, of course! You want time for private getaways? He's booking first class plane tickets to a vacation destination of your choice. You want to learn how to play bass guitar? "Come here, Darling. Let me show you."

With Satoru and Suguru, it's a toss up. Mostly because I think it will have to take someone super special (a person who isn't easily cowed and who loves either of them so much) to get either of them to fall in love. When they fall in love with their S/Os though, they're all in.

Dating Satoru or Suguru in this situation means having rock songs written about you. It's one of their love languages in this AU.

I also don't know what their band would be called. 😝

[doverstar]

Okay, two whole people asked me to share my thoughts on River Song as a character and my thoughts on Doctor/River after I wrote a whole Clara Oswald essay, and it took me 4 days to write that I ship River with the Doctor and I love her, but there are so many problems. The biggest is named Steven Moffat. And because you asked, I will tell you why, turn up your screen brightness here we go-

*huge inhale* In a nutshell, River Song is ridiculous. Stop wait let me explain- *hands you the nutshell and pats your hand* Shh. River Song as a character first appeared in Silence in the Library, right? We were with the Doctor’s tenth incarnation and Donna Noble, statistically the most popular era in the show’s long history. And this episode was Moffat’s fourth-ever story for the show. Blink and the The Doctor Dances two-parter were all so good. He was on a roll. River comes in and she’s so much fun. And she knows the Doctor. Already. And the crowd goes oooooh collectively. She knows him intimately, it seems. And he has no clue who she is, so oooh again, she’s from his future! It is heavily implied that they'll be married—it’s just the first place anyone’s brain goes.  And then she dies. And we loved her, end scene. Then Moffat took over the show and got the opportunity to explain himself, and he explained himself really poorly.

River went from being a very interesting flash-in-the-pan to being an overdecorated ideal. She is Moffat’s ideal woman. She’s crazy, she seems independent and powerful and unattainable, but she’s actually totally obsessed with the protagonist and consistently making innuendos at him. Her sun rises and sets on the Doctor. Why? Because that’s Moffat’s idea of an attractive woman. I kid you not. I think the problem with writing something that is pure self-indulgence is that you’re so excited about what you’re writing, you don’t stop and think, hey, is this working? You don’t measure the quality. You’re not thinking clearly, it’s just wish-fulfillment. River is everything Moffat thinks a woman should be. Mysterious, strong, insane, violent, but only because of the man she’s drooling over. Her whole story is an excuse to write a woman like the one I just described, because it’s hot to Moffat. (I know. Gross.) Here comes a Moffat rant. The man is insanely talented, and I am not silly enough to believe that all of his writing regarding women is fetish-fueled – I just don’t think that way typically when I’m watching something, but it’s really hard to miss with Moffat. Haven’t you noticed every one of his female characters is full of lust for the protagonist? That’s weird. It was weird when Amy kissed the Doctor against his will, engaged to Rory and not interested in “anything quite so permanent”. It was weird when Nanny Clara kissed him after having just met him, in the middle of a dangerous situation, and then not keeping her eyes front up the magic ladder. (It was weird that Oswin was dressed like that and lounging in all of those poses the first time we saw her, as a dead woman in a Dalek shell, go back and watch it. Laugh like I did. You’re [hallucinating that you’re] stranded on an alien planet in a ship that crashed—and that’s what you’re wearing to work? The last survivor?) It's weird that rando Tasha Lem divulges intense, universe-altering danger to the Doctor in a breathless voice with space wine as they creep closer together over a bed. Ew. What? Why is that even happening? And finally, it’s weird that a girl brought up to murder her parents’ much-older alien best friend, who she was brainwashed to believe is the universe’s biggest problem, should want to eat his face off. Especially when their timelines are out of order and she hasn’t gotten to know him for real at all yet.

Is the Doctor attractive? Yup. Was any of that necessary? Nope. Now we’ll transition for a bit into what I think is wrong with the ship, even though I do ship it. (More on the pros of it later.) The more we learned about her, the less River and the Doctor made sense. The only truly wonderful thing about their dynamic (my favorite part!) is that the Doctor and River act like they’re already married, even though they’re meeting out of order. They have that assurance in one another. They each know the other person will become someone they’re willing to marry someday—they each get a sneak peek of that future together. (River in Let’s Kill Hitler, the DoctorinSilence in the Library.) So when they do meet, even when she’s in Instant Kill Mode and he’s in You Scare Me mode, it’s with an expectation that, hold on, eventually I’m going to really really care about you. Everything they do with one another from that point forward is influenced by that expectation, which makes them comfortable around one another. So that’s sweet and I love it. The problem is—River isn’t the Doctor’s ideal woman. She might be Moffat’s, but on paper she should not work with the Doctor romantically. Moffat engineered this woman—who is supposed to eventually be the Doctor’s wife—to be violent, self-centered, insane, very sexual, and willing to shatter any laws of time (or morality) she sees fit. That’s the opposite of what the Doctor admires, chooses, and is attracted to from everything we’ve ever seen of him. (Does the Doctor like smart, capable women who are good in a crisis? Yes! Obviously! That’s not what I’m talking about.) But suddenly after meeting River, being told one day she’ll be his wife, (instead of organically learning why he would marry her and organically learning who she truly is and then growing to love her naturally), very quickly and without explanation he’s all “And unlike me, she really doesn’t mind shooting people. I shouldn’t like that, kinda do a bit!” What? Since when? Since Moffat. Because Moffat is behind the wheel and Moffat finds that hot. Sir, just because you told me to ship it doesn’t mean I’m convinced. Now, is it her fault that she’s a murder weapon? Is it River’s fault that she was brought up to believe it’s okay to choose violence, wear poison lipstick, and be the girlboss of murder? Absolutely not. Melody Pond was kidnapped, tortured, brainwashed, and used as a human/Time Lady weapon just because she was there. She had absolutely no choice in the matter. And when she did eventually, finally get to choose, she chose to rescue the Doctor and start over. She sacrificed every remaining regeneration she might have had to reverse her actions. That last part? That’s awesome. I love that. But that nice moment doesn't fix the rest. The story goes that River was stolen, raised to kill the Doctor, and then fell in love with him along the way—and the special sauce is, she’s meeting him out of order; every time she sees him he knows her less because she’s moving backward along his timeline. (Unnecessarily complicated, but very fun, Moffat! Can’t forget fun in Doctor Who.) The story goes, too, that the Doctor meets his wife from the future in the biggest universal Library one day, watches her die, and waits for her to appear again so he can start a love story he knows the ending to—and the special sauce is, he’s meeting her out of order; every time he sees her he’s getting to know her more and she knows him less, because she’s moving backward while he moves forward. That does make for an interesting love story. You’re excited to see it play out because you and the Doctor expect it to be a doozy based on River’s “not those times, don’t you dare, you watch us run” speech in Forest of the Dead. But the problem is, they were both told they’d marry one day and therefore they treat it as a foregone conclusion, so there’s no organic attempt at really, truly falling in love. They behave as though they didn’t fall anywhere, they were pushedinside and someone locked the door. (I just pictured Moffat outside with the key. “Now KISS!”)

The point is that nobody worked for this relationship. If you’re going to explain how they fell in love, because the audience already knows they apparently will, then actually show them falling in love! When did the Doctor decide he loved River? When he found out she was Amy’s literal daughter? When he found out she was a psychopath? Or did it all begin in the Library when she died for him, because he already knew that for some reason one day he would marry her, and it’s all just placebo from then on? Or did Ten just regenerate into the sort of man who inexplicably “love(s) a bad girl, me”, and really gets off on those moments when River threatens to shoot and kill other life forms? Yeah, that makes sense. When did River decide she loved the Doctor? When Kovarian told her he’s the scourge of universes? Or was it when River heard he's ultimately the reason she was kidnapped and made to be raised by the Silence and forced into a space suit as a child, because one day she has to rid the universe of this man? Oh! Maybe she fell in love with him when her literal parents went to primary school with her as peers and Amy told her about the Raggedy Doctor as little girls and Mels decided she’d marry him for some reason one day even though she was trained to kill him! (*big pause to catch my breath*) Do you see what I’m saying? We didn’t see it happen. We were told, not shown, that they were in love, or that they would be in love enough to marry one day, and then we watched it not actually happen. And so did the Doctor and River. They are both living in a constant state of resignation to their relationship. Moffat didn’t tell a love story, he told an epilogue, and neither of the lovers got to experience the beginning! For all the cutesy times they quipped “spoilers” at each other, they never once just let things take their course naturally. They lived in the spoilers. The spoilers are the only reason they’re together in the first place! 

And one more thing. A side thing. The Doctor did not want to marry River. That’s disappointing, isn’t it? The wedding was not a happy one. They did it because according to River, their history (their relationship’s “archeology”) differed - she’s either the woman who murders or marries the Doctor, and given those choices, the Doctor wanted to choose murderer instead of wife as River’s role because it was the only way to save reality, but she wouldn't listen to him until he called her wife. Their wedding, just like everything else about their romantic history, is something they’re forced into. It’s contrived. It’s confusing. It’s very difficult to believe in. Moffat gave us all the relational-dynamic payoff prematurely and never actually showed us the part where they fell in love.

That’s my problem(s) with their relationship. Now let me talk about (as requested) River as a character again and what I actually do find most interesting and endearing about her and about her relationship with the Doctor. Like I said, I actually do love her, I actually do ship it, and now I’m gonna vomit out why.

The most endearing thing about River to me is that she is insecure, and that humanizes the silly ideal. Now, in spinoff material River led a very long and varied life, and the Doctor was not the only man she was intimate with. But he’s the only one she loves. That love is what makes her so insecure. And it is love—after a while of repeatedly running into him after Lake Silencio, River is consistently choosing to put the Doctor and his needs before herself and her own. She always had it in her; she’s Amy and Rory’s daughter and the child of the Tardis, after all. But it’s the influence that the Doctor has on her that makes her go from psychopath to heroine. She genuinely believes he’s the best man ever, which is saying something when your father is Rory Williams.

And she, River, murdered him or tried to. She was stolen from his friends and made to attack him, made to put them in danger. She had to lie to him nearly every time they met, or at the very least withhold important information from him. Every time she met him, he trusted her less and less and less. 

And the Doctor is not perfect, but think about how River must see him. He must seem perfect, right? He’s so, so kind, he’s so, so good. He’s so brave. He’s so selfless. He’s so smart. He’s amazing, and he uses his time and his talents for other people, saving lives and helping out all across the stars. He even helped her. He even forgave her. That’s why she fell in love with him, not because he’s hot when he’s clever, not because she’s a psychopath and really, Madam Kovarian, who else was she going to fall in love with, what a basic mistake – NO. If you want to look at it from its most compelling angle, no matter how confusing it gets, how contrived, the most compelling angle is that River loves the Doctor because the Doctor forgave her. In spite of everything. And we see how she really thinks of him, how insecure she truly is, what she really thinks he must feel about her, in The Husbands of River Song. That episode is my favorite River episode.

She got to marry him, but it was under force. She got to be with him, but not forever. She got to help him, but not always. They kissed, but he treated it like it was the first time. He forgave her, but he had to bail them all out in the end, because when she tried she made a mess of it. “Trust you? Seriously?” “I don’t wanna marry you.” “You embarrass me.” “Why do you have to be this? Melody Pond—your daughter, I hope you’re both proud!” River is in love with him, but she genuinely does not think he is in love with her. On paper, it doesn’t seem like she’d be someone he chooses to love. Maybe someone he chooses to pity. Maybe someone he chooses to look after, because her parents are dead now and he loved them and he failed to save Melody the first time, guilty to the last. Whichever way she looks at it, he can’t possibly love her. Sure, he flirts with her, but he flirts with everyone. Yes, she’s smart, but he only takes the best. He’s surrounded by smart. She saved him and it was her honor, but she’s not the first to do that anyway. And like I said, neither of them got to see when the other person first started loving them, because it’s all back-to-front and they exist in a state of resignation. I can think of no better way to feel insecure about where you stand with the man you love than literally never ever knowing when it will begin.

But River’s cool. She’s brave and clever and she can do just about anything she wants with whoever she wants. She can live like the Doctor—adventures in time and space, and maybe sometimes he’ll run into her. In fact, she keeps calling on him when she needs help, and doesn’t he always come? Doesn’t that mean something? One day they’ll be married, just keep waiting, okay, now they are married, he’ll get used to it, he still flirts with her, stay cool, stay funny, stay smart, at least he’s still around, just keep waiting— And then after a while she stops waiting. She’s not like her mother. She gets on with life. The Husbands of River Song is genius because their timelines are synced perfectly, at last, for them to be at the peak of their affection for one another. River doesn’t know him, but not because he’s wearing a new face, because he’s actually really, really obvious about the fact that it’s him. He’s constantly trying to get her to see it without outright saying it, but she has this mental block that will not even consider that he’s there, especially the deeper they go into danger together. Why is that? Well, she says it. The enemy says she’s the perfect bait, refers to her as the woman who loves the Doctor, and what does River say? It's right here. And it’s made very clear by her actions throughout the episode before this speech that River really does believe it. Because he’s standing right behind her listening to all of that and she hasn’t seen that it’s him, because of course he’s not here. She suffers from the same mentality her sweet dad Rory did—that the person she loves will never love her the way she loves them. River doesn’t think she’s nothing, but she thinks she’s nothing to the Doctor.

I think it’s beautiful that she was wrong. I think the Doctor loves River, and I think it’s a very different love than what he had for Rose Tyler (or, now that I think of it, Sarah Jane). It’s still love, it’s just not the same. It’s nice that you can ship both, actually.

(If you ask me which I think is the better love story between the two ships, that’s a different essay for a different time, and one that I think will have people drop-kicking me throughout every facet of the internet. Right now we’re focusing on River and on her ship with the Doctor, which I do enjoy.) I may not think that it was brilliantly executed, but the fact remains that at some point, the Doctor did grow to love and care about River Song. And there’s one part of their wedding that I also liked a lot— When he marries her and her parents give consent, the Doctor’s first request of his wife is “help me”. That’s what wives do! That’s what husbands need from wives! That’s marriage. The sticking together no matter what, being the person you both turn to in life’s darkest moments. River understood that concept, because when Amy asks in The Angels Take Manhattan if allowing the Angel to touch her will send her to Rory, who has just died in front of them, the Doctor says he doesn’t know, and Amy asks “But it’s my best shot, yeah?” The Doctor shouts no, but River tells him to shut up. “Yes, yes, it is!” And she’s crying, but she’s smiling too. She knows what she would do if she were Amy. She knows why Amy is going to let the Angel touch her. Because that’s marriage. And that’s what she feels for the Doctor. I do ship it! I love the idea that love helped shape River instead of hate, contrary to Kovarian’s plans for Melody. I love the idea that the Doctor started out untrusting of River and in the end, trusted her implicitly. I love that he had her when he needed help. And let’s face it, they really are so much fun.

[cerastes]

'stultifera navis' is a reference? I mean, when I saw people going "oh it means stupid boat" figured that that wasn't *quite* the whole story but no one's explained what else it means.

You know how we are intimately familiar with Plato's Allegory of the Cave?

This thing? Alright, so Plato didn't make just one allegory. Plato's Allegory of the Cave comes from Plato's "Republic", specifically Book VII. In Book VI, one can find the Allegory of the Ship of Fools. Long story short, the allegory's intent is to represent the problems of leadership and governance in a political system where the key figures aren't chosen based on expert knowledge, but rather, other things altogether ('divine right' is a good example).

Now, with this in mind, we talk about Stultifera Navis, a satirical allegory from 1494 by one Sebastian Brant, a German humanist. It's other title is Daß Narrenschyff ad Narragoniam, in medieval German, all meaning the same: "Ship of Fools". It's worth noting that the Ship of Fools was a popular concept in this era, much like the internet really likes the Allegory of the Cave! Humanity has always been the same in some regards.

Brant's Stultifera Navis was about a fleet, the Fleet of Fools, bound for the Paradise of Fools and, without getting too into it, because it's a decently long read consisting of over one hundred brief satires, it serves as a criticism towards the Christian Church and how it was, largely, a mangle of underqualified fools not only having WAY too much agency in the lives of WAY too many people, but also, it was driving itself in such a hilariously self-destructive manner that it eventually sinking was practically inevitable. Brant creates a character, the Saint Grobian, whom Brant made into the patron saint of vulgar and crass people, so not only was he making a whole book with over 100 little stories about how much a dumbass collective the Church was, he also got spicy and threw in his own OC, Grobian the Hedgehog, the worst and shittiest of them all, and the one that codified the Church most closely.

Now, you may be thinking, "Hey, did Brant get fucking burned at the cross for this or something? Wasn't criticism of the Church the leading cause of death back in those days right after being invaded by Church for no reason?". Well, there was a SPECIAL JUTSU you could use back in the day, one that rendered you naught but a little birthday guy that couldn't be killed for criticism: Employing the voice of the fool. Y'see, Court Fools were allowed to say whatever they wanted, because they were court fools, and this little loophole allowed certain figures of the time, like Desiderius Erasmus, to criticize the Church openly, as he did in "The Praise of Folly", and when the Churchboyz came to his house with pikes and broadswords, demanding he step right out to they could eviscerate him for the SIN of speaking ill against Our Most Righteous, Loving, And Considerate Of Institutions, The Holy Church Itself, Erasmus threw his arms up in mock surrender and yelled "I'm just a little fool! The work was written from the voice and perspective of but a fool! I'm just a birthday fool! Come on, man, don't get so mad!" and then the Churchboyz, smoldering in white blistering ire, sheathed their arsenal and walked away FUMING because he was now impervious to Christblasts.

Well, Brant used the same jutsu, as the book is Entirely about Fools, he claimed it was just the fools talking, ergo, it's not what he REALLY thought, ok? Just some food for thought, a little what if, no need to get so spicy over a WORK OF FICTION. So the Church harrumphed and hmppphroomed their way home, stomping their feet all the way through because AGAIN they couldn't execute someone for their (alleged) opinion.

Now, moving to the Arknights' Stultifera Navis, given how much the event shows the longing for the Iberian Golden Age, and very much states how impossible it is to go back to those days, simply because, one, the world has changed to something that would never again sustain this Iberian Golden Age, and two, the 'Golden Age' in itself was built upon the systematic oppression and suffering of others, ranging from the Aegir persecuted within the Iberian lands to the Victorians and Bolivars raided and pillaged outside the Iberian borders, and it was the selfsame greed, close-mindedness and ignorance of Iberia that led to its natural end. The Inquisition is very much a Ship of Fools: Guided by old relics, fueled by archaic and obsolete beliefs, it's bound to collapse under its own weight. Saint Carmen himself is the perfect representation of the Inquisition: Tired, old, full of regrets, putting a strong front, yet completely ravaged and exhausted, his life artificially prolonged well past the natural lifespan of a Liberi, guided by ostensibly good intentions and yet adhering to principles that necessarily involve the oppression of certain people in order to exist. I wouldn't say Saint Carmen and Saint Grobian are one and the same, but you can't help but see some similarity. Patron saint of the vulgar and crass indeed.

The allegory also extends to Aegir to some degree as well, but we don't have the full picture just yet. Stultifera Navis does suggest that Aegir Beefed It to some degree as well, and not a minor beef, either.

Notably, Laurentina defies the trope: Her recovery stems in part to having let go of her "Golden Age": The times when she could have pursued her passions as a sculptor, the times when she happily hunted away with her fellow Hunters in the 2nd Company, the times when she didn't have a country's worth of Super Death Rock Cancer Juice in her spine, the entire swath of time she lost due to having been replaced by 'Specter', the time when she was blissfully unaware of her Seaborn blood, she makes it clear to Amaia: She's fully aware that all of these things are irrevocably lost, and that that's fine, she's got the present and the future still. She misses that Golden Age of her life, but doesn't agonize over it, she simply has to make a new Golden Age, comprised of other, unknown, exciting things, in the future.

Sometimes, you don't need to think too hard about it. Just tear apart what's in front of you, and move forward. She is not a crewmember of the Ship of Fools.

There's a few more comparisons and connections you can draw between the Allegory of the Ship of Fools and Arknights' Stultifera Navis, but I think the point has been made!

[strip4kaneshiro]

Dating Headcanons w Shoto

This man is chaotic af and I love his dynamic so I’ll be separating this into male vs female since he’s stated that he’s bisexual, happy pride month. I’m basing this on how he interracts with his male and female friends :)) (mostly Bao and Vox cause those r the clips I see the most and who he’s most comfy with)

As his girlfriend..

- he tries to be as helpful as possible around the house

-you two are constantly competing for the housewife position??

- one of you starting a lewd joke and it just snowballs out of control💀💀

- “ (name), honey, darling, my love, love of my life, get your sexy ass over here like right now” “oh my gosh ew Shoto u wanna eat my ass? Not on stream babe <33 ;)” “THIS GIR- THATS NOT WHAT I SAIDDD!!”

-oh yeah! Shoto sometimes does streams with you sitting in the same room as you or in his lap

- “todays stream is gonna be co-oped with my darling (name)-sama uwu” “Shoto I stg”

- he’s not afraid to announce the weird stuff you do, just cause ur off camera does NOT mean your off the hook

- “CAN YOU STOP FUCKING SHAKING YOUR ASS IN THE DOORWAY WHAT THE FUCK??-!”

- he commissions a custom asset for you, it’s of you slumping ur chin over his shoulder aw

- Shoto also commissions assets with ur regular model like holding hands, parading each other’s heads ect.

- using popular romance anime couples as pfps on your private social media accounts ( hori and miyamura, usui and misaki, etc)

- when your on your period, he grabs your heat source of choice (if it isn’t him ofc) and water. Along with anything else you ask for

- he also loves watching you style your hair in the morning. Like he’ll literally sit on the counter in the bathroom and watch you get ready

- you make him help but he just takes it as an excuse to have his hands all up in ur head???

- if your hair is on the straighter side, he styles it sometimes with random clips and intricate styles, but if it’s thicker and/or curlier, he stays out that territory entirely.

- poor babes doesn’t want to accidentally make your hair matted

- self care with (ship name) every Saturday and Tuesday!!

As his boyfriend

- if you thought he was bad with Uki or Vox, he’s even worse with you

- not one bone in his body can be stopped from being down abysmal for you (believe me, the people have tried)

- your assets are just as cute as the female counterpart, if not more. He also commissions pride month pfps and assets

- minecraft is just so domestic, he gives u flowers and shit.

- inexplicably horny tho, he bends over all the time while wearing short-shorts and is like

“I mean, well it’s hot, what else am I supposed to do huh? Go nude instead?”

Yes…please..

- this smug little shit, try flirting with him during a game though. It works, I’ve tried I swear

- “babe, if you get this next kill, on god I’ll suck you off after stream”

Player🔫sho

- he tells chat stories about what you guys do everyday and it’s so cute, like story time w Shoto.

- “so, uhhh, this morning! When (name) woke up this morning, he looked up at me from bed this morning and was like ‘mmm…g’morning baby…~’ in his seductive ass morning voice and *flustered noises*!!”

- he’s your biggest simp fan

- for some reason when he’s sick he just??? Starts streaming like every wasn’t coughing his lungs out?

- do you have to pick him up and carry him to bed, promptly ending Stream? Maybe

- his sick voice is so adorable though oh my gosh, so being around him is worth it

- “baaaaaabe, can you give me more medicineee?~ and another driiink?~” he calls from the bedroom

- teasing him >>>

- just do it, trust me you’ll enjoy it. He gets all shy and tsundere

- giving him compliments and praise back to back makes him go full tsundere though. Do with that information as you please

Either way, Shoto is a great boyfriend for men and women alike. Nobody gets left behind in this train! So treasure the time with him that you have. And remember, bribe him with sushi and maybe….juuust maybe, he’ll put on the dog ears (yes he has a pair irl)

[constellyations]

Hunter x Hunter ships I personally don’t like

These are ships that are NOT supported on my page.

Please note a couple things before reading.

1, I do not hate any ships for being WLW, MLM or NL (hetero) unless it’s the result of representation erasure (An example of this is in the Owl House Community. People ship Lunter and say that it’s ok because Luz is a canon Bisexual but it’s still WLW relationship erasure!!! I do not support Lunter btw…)

2, I’m gonna mention stuff like proshipping and toxic relationships so please be warned if you’re triggered by those types of things do not read under the cut

3, I’m also gonna talk about ships I lovehate due to having extremely mixed opinions.

Alright that’s all!! Enjoy your reading and please remember to respect my opinions and interpretations of the characters. This will also include spoilers for the entire animated series.

Killunary (Killua x Canary)

There are a couple reasons why I don’t like this ship but it’s mostly because of the power imbalance. Certain employee x employer ships just don’t work due to extreme power imbalance. The main example of this is the Zoldyck family and their abusive nature towards all the butlers, including how Kikyo treats Canary when she got close to Killua.

The other reason is because I see Killua as a heavily MLM coded character. And I’m sorry if you don’t agree but based on both his canon and non-canon interactions with the various women of the story, I don’t think he’s straight. I personally think he might be gay/vincian but it’s up to interpretation!! I cannot see Killua dating a girl. (This includes ships like KilluRetz and Killumane)

Hisomachi (Hisoka x Machi)

Again, Hisoka is a heavily MLM coded character with Machi being the only woman in the series he’s shown possibly romantic interest in. Hisoka himself is an extremely harmful stereotype of a gay man being overly flamboyant but also predatory towards kids and women. That is a stereotype that is shown and pushed VERY often with Hisoka. (If you do view Machi as WLW, which I do, she’s also a harmful stereotype of the mean, man hating, lesbian./lh)

Also the fact that Machi straight up rejected his dinner offer in the Heaven’s Arena Arc should be enough to push the fact that she doesn’t like him…

Kuroneon (Chrollo/Kuroro x Neon)

Ok I only have like one reason but I feel like it’s validated tbh!!! He literally attacked her and stole her ability. And I don’t wanna go on a whole rant about Neon and her complexities rn but her nen ability, lovely ghostwriter, was essentially the only reason for her father to love her and care the way he did…

Also their age difference urks me ALOT cuz Neon is about the same age as Kurapika (17-19) and Chrollo is pushin 30… T-T

Kurokura (Chrollo/Kuroro x Kurapika)

A lot of people ship them because “lol omg enemies to lovers!!” But like. This isn’t that kind of enemies to lovers hun… :// Chrollo and the troupe literally massacred the Kurta Clan with zero mercy and left Kurapika alone and almost defenseless in an unfamiliar world. He destroyed everything Kurapika had. That’s not something Kurapika would or will forgive easily. Kurapika is literally destroying himself inside out because of what the troupe did to the Kurta Clan. This ship is just ugh it’s so toxic I hate >:(

Also again, even if Chrollo didn’t destroy the Kurta Clan, age difference. Kurapika’s the same age as Neon (17-19) and Chrollo is PUSHING 30!!!!! Icky!!!

Tbh this goes for any of the Troupe x Kurapika… gross age difference and disgusting enemies to lovers dynamic.

Pitokai (Neferpitou x Kite/Kaito)

One of my biggest icks ever is Victim x Killer because like how would YOU feel if you were violently murdered for seemingly no reason and then find out that there are people out there who think you and your killer would be cute if you dated O.O

Yeah it’s like… really toxic. I don’t have the energy to go into all the details of it but Killer x Victim has no reason to be as popular as it is…

Wisky (Wing x Bisky)

(I couldn’t find any GIFs of them from the movie so you get this still image)

Teacher x Student dynamics really ick me as well… in most but not all cases the teacher is somewhat of a parental figure and the student is very young, in most cases a minor!!! We don’t exactly know if Wing was a kid when Bisky taught him nen since she refers to most people younger then as kids but the idea that she was extremely influential in his earlier years and has that older adult figure role in his life makes the idea of shipping them just.. it makes my skin crawl tbh ^^|||

Also there’s a HUGE age difference with Bisky being 57 and Wing being in his early 20s.

Gingkite (Ging x Kite/Kaito)

Again w the teacher x student guys… the same reasons as with Wisky expect we know for a fact that Ging met and started training Kite when he was a teenager! Makes this extra icky.

Again with the age difference! Ging is in his 30s I think maybe 40s? And Kite is in his early 20s. Pretty big age gap!!!

Any incestous Zoldyck ships

The fact that I even have to state this… dude… c’mon…. Incest is NOT cool chat!!

Any ships between the siblings? DISGUSTING!!

Between the kids and the parents? GRODY!!

Between Zeno and his grandkids? OUTRAGEOUS!!

This isn’t even just limited to the Zoldyck family dude… Mito x Ging is a thing apparently…

Any Child x Adult

Again… why do I need to state this… shipping adults x children is WEIRD!!! And NOT OK!!!

Hisoka x Gon? GROSS!!

Killua x Illumi? DOUBLE GROSS!! INCEST IS ALSO NOT OK.

Killua x Machi? STILL GROSS!!!!

Please if you ship canon children with adults… please… just get off my page :^

Merupouf (Meruem x Shaiapouf)

Gonna be so fr w you guys… I used to ship this… i thought they were funny :’) I’VE RECOVERED DW!!! (/lh)

Uh yeah so the power dynamic is really erm!!! /neg I genuinely cannot go into detail about how toxic they are but I’ll try to summarize… Pouf has like a perfected version of Meruem in his head as the king but when Meruem starts to change for the better he rejects it and thinks he knows what’s best for the king and shit!!! Also Meruem treats his Royal guards like shit (at the beginning) their relationship gets only slightly better towards the end but it’s still abusive!!!

Also my friend Eren pointed out that the Royal guards exist solely for Meruem. Like they are Meruem and Meruem only. Everything is for him and that adds like a super fucked up dynamic to this ship…

—

Ok so that’s all I can think of rn… please try to understand that this is MY interpretation and perception of these characters. It is ok if this is not how you see these characters, but it is how I see them.

[fairykery]

The Vampire Diaries opinions people hate me for:

Forwood is actually a good ship and I wish it didn't have to go down like that, at the expense of Caroline's character.

I ship Klaroline; but Klaus was toxic. I could only ever see this ship becoming endgame if Klaus redeemed himself first.

Caroline had chemistry with everyone except Stefan.

Bamon had potential (and it was literally in the books). If they had come up with a "I had my humanity off" plotline it would have made the ship work🤷🏻‍♀️

Bonezo is a good ship and is clearly less toxic than Bamon; but it only happened to please racist dullena fans that complained about Bamon's romantic implications(even if it happened in the books)

Caroline, Katherine, Bonnie, & Stefan are the most interesting characters of TVD

Jeremy & Anna were cute IDK🤷🏻‍♀️

Matt did not deserve the hate. His feelings were valid. All his friends were killers and he was an abandoned, heartbroken boy, whose mom was a drunk and pedophile, and his only sister & family was killed by the boyfriend of his ex-girlfriend who he loved alot, just cause he decided he was bored. He remained loyal & brave to his friends and they didn't account for their murders and killings & stopped caring for the innocent.

Alaric was not a bad father and teacher. Even if he had his slip-ups he was actually an interesting & good character.

Damon is way too defended In this fandom. People should like the character and not defend the wrongs?! Just how many women has he compelled to sleep with him and to let him drink their blood? And what about what he did to Aaron whitmore? He slaughtered entire families of Innocents even while dating Elena. So all that "sHe mAkEs hiM bEtTeR" crap, is not valid. You can like Ian's acting and the smugness of his character, & like the character for those reasons, without defending the terrible acts of the character.

Delena was a horrible ship. The only reason it's popular is due to the shallow fact that people see Ian as more handsome than Paul. The ship only has good chemistry and looks. Beyond that, there is nothing.

Stefan is still the better man. (Fried humanity/off humanity Stefan don't count just as it goes for all the other vampires) Gaslighting writing through the other characters won't change that(Nice try, Julie P)🤷🏻‍♀️

Alaric and Jo were really cute together. I don't care. They made epic twins together.

Elena is overloved; but overhated at the same time. It's annoying. Just love the kind human girl that she used to be and hate the vicious, selfish girl she became, without hating her for breathing. That simple.

Klelijah(Katherine x Elijah) is not a good ship. Katherine loved stefan. She was only using Elijah to survive, and back then she only pitied him. Elijah also only was with her because of what he did to Tatia

Katherine did deserve better though, even if she did bad things. Making her the biggest/& ultimate devil and pretending there wasn't any good in her was incredibly misogynistic. Like Damon & Klaus did worse things and they get happy lives and good character ends? Like No! Horrible! Katherine's core was a scared little girl who wanted to live a normal human life while still being powerful and beautiful. She was chased for 500 years, had to see her entire family slaughtered, lost a baby because of misogynistic expectations, found her again, just to see her last family die again. Did she do horrible things? Yes; all to survive. But she also saved Jeremy, Damon, Stefan, encouraged Elena to be honest about what she felt for Damon even when she didn't have to.

Caroline did annoying things; but overall she was an interesting character. And she was way too smart and strong as a vampire. I loved seeing it.

Bonnie deserved so much more than the show gave her. I hope she gets her own show one day. A show about witches would be pretty lit.

Rebecca could have tried harder to be kinder and less evil. I get she had centuries of habits she needed to break but still. (Elena stabbing her in the back was still shit though)

Klaus was evil to his default and was an abuser to his family. I'm glad he changed/died for hope; but still I would have been nice if there were other factors to this action.

They shouldn't have thrown away the good of Elijah Mikalson. He didn't deserve that. The way they also tried to pull a Stefan on him.

Haylijah was a cute ship🤷🏻‍♀️

Esther wasn't wrong about her children being evil as vampires. And what she wanted to do with them was have them live as humans.

What the originals did to Marcel was fucked up

What the originals did to Davina was cruel

I wish we could have seen more of the witch that played "the hollow".

Glamorizing Hope's evil side is not "a flex". Again, like the character & actor art; but not the vicious actions.

Hosie should have been canon

That random new original sister was so unnecessary.

Kolvina is the most interesting ship of the entire TVDverse I wish there was more of them

All TVD ships were good I just find: Steroline, Delena, & Klamille to be cringe. Steroline only happened to compensate Forwood/& Klaroline and justify Delena. And Delena only happened because of looks and the love story was trash. Klamille was also a compensation ship to Klaroline so yeah, cringe.

TVD writing, lore, acting, cinematography,. directing is all a 10. The only thing that is trash is the ending and all the romantic entanglement the show had.

Warning: This isn't to start an agree to disagree party. This post is just so that those that agree with me can high-five with me. If you disagree, don't even bother commenting on this post. Everything is a matter of perception & perspective. I'm just sharing mine, while venting. By jumping on this post to fight with me you are immediately self-labeling yourself as entitled. Everyone has their own opinions bestie so don't even.

[olderthannetfic]

https://www.tumblr.com/olderthannetfic/740550153935667200/httpswwwtumblrcomolderthannetfic740123102285

Yeah, there’s been a lot of wank in DS9 fandom lately about why the fandom likes Bashir so much more than Sisko that tends to blame colorism or that Sisko’s Black identity is much more a part of his character while Bashir doesn’t have strong ties to any non white culture. ….And maybe that’s PART of it, but I think the much bigger part of it is that Bashir is presented as a type of character that female fic-writing shipping fandom goes nuts for and Sisko is not. Bashir is a socially awkward overenthusiastic arrogant nerd who has a ton of homoerotic subtext with multiple other male characters and whose canon het relationships in the show are fleeting and half-assed. Sisko is older and a devoted dad and Responsible Adult who has a long-lasting, well-developed and generally well-liked canon het relationship for over half the show’s run. I think if you had the Bashir character played by a Black man who is very in touch with his Black identity and the Sisko one played by a half-English half-Arab actor who is presented as very culturally Brit, the fandom reaction would still favor the former. (In fact, TNG has something of that type of character played by a black man in the form of Geordi and the nerdy girl shipper fandom also loves him and shipping him with Data, so….)

The analysis also ignores that other kinds of fandom exist, namely the cis dude parts of it, and they tend to favor Sisko over Bashir by a wide margin; in fact Sisko is one of the most popular and Bashir one of the least popular DS9 characters in those corners. And Bashir and Alexander Siddig himself have always had a very heavily female following (to the point of being the original name for TVTropes’ page on female-dominated fandoms), even though it is obviously not just women who watch DS9. During the lockdown in 2020, Siddig was doing these Zoom meetings where he met with fans and I went to a couple of them and was briefly in the unofficial Discord for it, and it was almost entirely women + AFAB trans and non binary people. Barely any cis dudes.

It’s weird how many analyses of fandom, even very serious academic ones (like what that paper the previous ask mentioned sounds like), don’t seem to factor in the obvious factors first, the basic nature of how different kinds of fandom work, *before* concluding it must be racism or some other kind of bigotry above all else.

--

Also, to the extent that Bashir ever went near ladies, it was like... Dax in the pilot or something, and I remember watching that when it premiered and going "Ooh". Even his het options were more fanficbait-y than anything Sisko ever did.

It's not an accident those papers are like that. Cut them no slack.

[findafight]

The "Robin would never date Steve's ex who broke his heart" take is FUCKING stupid for a lot of reasons.

First of off, the autonomy you're taking out of Robin with this.

Like she's not Steve's sidekick, she's not his yes man, she's an indepent girl who should be free to date any girl she wants.

She would never let her friendship with him ostacolate her love life.

Why the fuck she should do that?!

No one would.

And also, Steve is actually the one who hurt Nancy the most (slut Nancy Wheeler).

And if you think for a second that Robin would ever take Steve's side, then you're wrong.

Just stop centering everything around Steve, and stop reducing Robin to be just his sidekick, 'cause she's FUCKING not.

Hi! So. Pretty sure you found the most recent post I made (on April 6th) tagged anti rnce (and ONLY anti rnce. Not even stranger things. Just anti rnce and my personal original text post tag and a quip about choosing violence. So clearly if that’s how you got here you chose to not just send a post you disagreed with to your friends to rant about but came into my inbox and tried to start shit)And if you didn’t I truly don’t get how you, clearly a rnce fan, found me.

I’m going to be honest. Neither of us are going to change each other’s minds. I don’t like rnce for a lot of reasons, from i just don’t see a romantic spark there to a lot of the shippers being kinda shitty. I don’t care what you ship, really, just that. Claiming it’s canon or should be canon endgame etc gets annoying. And that a lot of the times the way I’ve seen the relationship portrayed (because, contrary to possibly popular belief, I have actually tried to read some fics for them. It’s also such a commonly untagged side or background pairing that I am subjected to it like that often as well) there’s so often weird terf or radfem red flags and alarm bells going off. I’ve seen someone harassed by rnce shippers for calling them out and then those shippers loudly regurgitating terf talking points like it’s fucking funny. I know all fandoms and ships have bad eggs but holy shit.

There’s been a few posts about how for some reason rnce fans try to portray people who don’t like it as making Robin Steve’s sidekick, when really we are acknowledging the facets of her characterization other than her lesbianism. Just because she likes girls doesn’t mean that’s the only thing that matters to her!

Yes, Robin liking girls is part of who she is, it influences how she acts and what she talks about, but it’s not the ONLY thing about her. She likes old movies, she enjoys pop and new wave music, she does her make up in her best friend’s car, she forgot to mention she never learned to drive because he forgot to ask if she could, she thinks combining into a super being with said best friend would possibly solve most of their problems.

Robin is a character who makes her own choices! She chooses to butt in at scoops, chooses to stay with Steve in the bunker to hold off the Russians, chooses to tell him her deepest secret, chooses to apply for jobs with Steve once they heal from the mall, chooses to spend a lot of time with him! And that’s rad. It gives us insight on who she is!

Whenever I’ve written or talked about Robin choosing not to date Nancy, I’ve always made it perfectly clear that it is Robin’s choice. Because given what we see of her in two seasons, Robin is loyal, and greatly values her friendship with Steve. Like. Regardless of how Steve feels about it, and I do think of Robin was legitimately interested in Nancy and Steve thought she had a chance, he’d encourage her to go for it. (Steve isn’t blindly encouraging Robin to hit on Vickie. He has high suspicions that Vickie is queer in some way too! She likes boobies!) I think Robin would think twice about it just because how much she encouraged stancy to get back together in s4.

Honestly, it makes me sad seeing how many times “why would robin choose her best friend’s feelings over getting a gf” is said because like. I value my friends’ feelings all the time. If I thought something I was doing was or would hurt them, I would reevaluate. Why WOULDNT Robin consider her best friend’s feelings? The first person she ever came out to? Who made her feel safe and accepted? Who made her laugh when she felt most vulnerable? Who she encouraged to get back with his ex? Romance is not a level up from friendship, it is not the endgame of life, it is not superior to any other relationship type. Treating friendships as less important to romance is something to reconsider and reevaluate.

Your last point. Anon, who is centring Steve now? Sure. He fucked up in s1. Literally no one denies that. He fucked up and he worked to make things right. He cleaned up the graffiti, he went to apologize to Jonathan, and he presumably apologized to Nancy, because she decided to date him for eleven months after that. I highly doubt there wasn’t heavy gossip about the graffiti or their breakup/makeup. I do agree that before Tina’s party Steve wasn’t helping Nancy as much as he could have, but Nancy wasn’t communicating to him either. They weren’t in the right place for each other. If we consider the alley the breakup, how is that not still breaking his heart? Yes Nancy was on a noble crusade, but it still had collateral damage. It’s something interesting about her character!

Robin wouldn’t be on board with the graffiti. But like. Steve’s changed and apologized since then. And She wasn’t there? She’s just here for the aftermath of Steve’s reignited feelings for Nancy. Idk. Both Steve and Nancy hurt each other in s1/2. It’s not a Steve v Nancy thing? It’s just an acknowledgment that of the two, Robin is closer to Steve. She’s more likely to consider him. She’s not omniscient to everything that happened or the persons feelings and reasons for doing it.

I’m sorry you don’t think friendship has an equal or greater value than some romantic relationship, it must suck. I also hope you find better things to do than to come to someone’s inbox and try to start something over a ship you like that they don’t.