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sixpennydame · 6 months

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North Star ✶ Chapter 11

A Levi Ackerman x oc slow burn

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An opportunity arises, that puts tension between you and Levi.

A/N: I found an amazing, detailed map of Marley on Reddit that has helped me view the geography of Marley and its surrounding locations. If you'd like an idea of where Mursa is, it's in the far SW range of mountains.

“Levi…you’re overthinking it. Let go and trust!”

Mathieu sits in a corner of the training barn and watches as Levi and Demon race around the perimeter. He shifts uncomfortably, attempting to wave his arms, which are still in slings on either side of his chest.

“Work with Demon, not against him.”

Levi leans in, pulling the right rein just slightly and attempting to give Demon more control. After finishing a round, he rides toward Mathieu, beads of sweat dotting his forehead despite the cold. He leads Demon to a water trough before getting a drink himself, ignoring the frustrated look on Mathieu’s face.

“You’re still pulling too hard on the reins when you need to make a right turn. I’ve told you to trust Demon to be your sight on your right side.” Mathieu walks toward Demon and attempts to pet him with his bandaged arm. “It’s a partnership, Levi. You can’t be in total control. Give in a little.”

Levi knew this - he’d heard Mathieu yell this at him a hundred times since he’d started training. He knew he needed to trust that Demon knew just the right time to turn, but without his peripheral vision on his right side, he felt too vulnerable.

Kenny had taught Levi to always be aware of everything going on around him: every sound, smell, and movement could be a possible attack. He’s sure that his keen senses are what kept him alive for much of his life; so of all his injuries, the lack of sight in his eye has been the hardest adjustment to make. Lack of depth perception, difficulty in judging accurate distances and tracking object movement - abilities most people take for granted - were now challenges beyond his control that not even his Ackerman blood could remedy.

He sometimes wondered why he was even attempting this in the first place.

But then he remembered: it was a challenge. He knew he wasn’t the man he used to be, but riding made him feel alive and caused all his senses to become alert and focused. When everything clicked with him and Demon, it was like being whole again.

It’s just this damn eye.

But Levi could adjust - he just needed to focus.

Which meant he needed to think less about you. That was the whole point of moving out of your house anyway.

It wasn’t like you were completely out of his life. You come daily to the stables to brush and ride Astrid, and you’re both amicable to each other, talking about the weather and goings-on in Mursa, as if nothing had happened between the two of you.

But something had happened. Levi couldn’t get it out of his mind.

Did you think about it too?

He checks his watch. A creature of habit, he knew you’d be here at the stables any moment now to check on Astrid and make lunch for them; the latter you’d insisted on doing ever since the accident. Of course, neither of the men would argue with that, although they argued with each other about almost everything else.

“Ok old man, enough of your badgering,” Levi says, taking Demon’s reins and leading him out of the barn. “I’m working on it.”

”You better work harder. Your first race is only a few months away,” Mathieu yells to Levi’s back.

——- ✶ ——-

You’re learning to live with it, the solemn silence of the mornings without Levi here. That same empty feeling you’d felt in the previous three years, now creeping its way along the floorboards of the house. It’s been a month now since his departure, and looking back on the night he left, and the kiss that had happened hours before, you felt silly for thinking it was anything other than some fantasy.

Maybe you were meant to be alone, and that was ok. You’d made due before Levi had come into your life and were learning to live with the loneliness. And besides, he was still your friend; that hadn’t changed, thankfully.

But you missed his presence in the house, the conversations shared in the early morning hours when even the sun had not yet risen. It had been mostly you talking, but he was a good listener, someone who looked at you while you were speaking, as if he was weighing every word carefully. On the rare times he did open up, it was like one of those flowers that only blooms every ten years; it felt special and you couldn’t help but listen, enraptured by the stories of his youth and his training for the Survey Corps. You wondered what it must have been like to live the first half of your life underground. And then, to live within the confines of gigantic walls.

When you were young, you often thought of the mountain ranges surrounding Mursa as high, impenetrable walls. You figured most young people felt that way, eager to escape and see more of the world. It was one of the reasons Martin and his younger brother Tomas had joined the military - a bit of freedom and adventure before settling down. But back then, you all knew Tomas would never settle down. He was wild and carefree, an unstoppable force too big for this small town.

Hmmm..

...you hadn’t thought of Tomas in years, not since your return to Mursa after The Rumbling. Although Martin had loved his younger brother with all his heart, they’d never truly gotten along; like two magnets with opposite poles, it was sometimes hard to believe that the two were even related. Tomas had always yearned to travel over the mountains and make his own way in the world, and he had made it clear to everyone that he never planned on returning to Mursa once he left. True to his word, you’ve not heard from him since.

The picture of him and Martin in their Southern Marley military uniforms still stands on the mantle; Martin is smiling, standing proudly in his officer’s uniform, his hand on the shoulder of his brother. Tomas is sitting in a chair, one arm resting on his leg. He’s not smiling, but there’s a fire in his eyes, a look of eagerness. Like so many others around the world, you wonder if he was killed during The Rumbling, or maybe he was living, carefree, in some other part of the world.

Because he was about the same age as you, everyone had expected you and he to be friends; but throughout the years, Tomas had only ever treated you with indifference, even when you and Martin had married. Although the relationship between the two of you had always been spotty, it would be nice to have family here. Someone who remembers how things used to be, even though those days are long gone.

You walk to your bedroom as your focus changes to the picture of you and Martin on the altar near your bed. Tradition dictates that the altar be taken down after the three years of mourning are over, but in the past month, you just haven’t had the will to put it away. You know Martin has moved on, and you should too, but some things are just hard to let go of.

But there’s a tug at your heart, saying today’s the day.

The silver frame feels heavier than you remember. It had been a wedding gift from Martin’s parents, in a time when silver was a less precious and rare resource. Lilies of the valley had been delicately etched into the surface, with the year of your betrothal engraved at the bottom. You look so young in the photo, even though only a little over 5 years have gone by. You gently wrap the frame in a silk scarf Martin had given you once for your birthday and place it in a small wooden box.

The other object on the altar is even harder to put away.

In opposition to the frame, the baby booties are soft and feather-light. You remember sitting in the chair in the corner, easily crocheting them in a day, but being so proud of yourself because they’d been the first thing you’d made for the baby. Other things had come after that: a blanket, a few tiny cardigans and even tinier bonnets. In a fit of grief, you’d burned those things after returning to Mursa three years ago, along with the other things you and Martin had bought for the nursery. It was just too painful to look at.

Looking at the tiny white booties, you regret doing that now.

You place them next to the frame and close the box, then place it in a corner of your closet. In the spring, you’ll bury it next to the large oak tree in the backyard, the one that Martin would always take naps under as a boy, and where you and he would steal kisses behind in your teenage years. Closing your eyes, you can see him now, sleeping under the tree in the heat of midsummer, your child laying on his chest. Peaceful. Content.

The clock chiming for the hour breaks you from your dream. “I need to get to Mathieu’s,” you say to yourself, putting on your warm winter layers before heading out the door and down the road to the stables.

——- ✶ ——-

“Stop pulling on my coat, you silly girl! I need to brush you, and then we’ll go out and stretch your legs.”

Levi smiles when he hears you talking to Astrid. Your voice always goes up just a tad whenever you talk to animals and little kids. With anyone else, he’d think it annoying, but with you, he finds it endearing. The smile on his face is gone by the time he walks past you.

“Astrid’s been a stubborn little shit lately,” he says as he takes the saddle off Demon. “She probably just wants to see you more.”

(He just wants to see you more.)

“I’m already over here for practically half of the morning every day. Maybe you just need to give her more attention.”

”Astrid could care less about me.”

”Awww, did she reject your charms, Levi?”

Your laugh reverberates through the stable and causes his mouth to turn upward just a bit. He loves this playful side of you. He’d almost think it flirting if he didn’t know that he’d ruined any of those chances.

He knows he hurt you that night, when he told you the kiss was a mistake. It was written all over your face: the confusion, the rejection. You had smiled, thinking he wouldn’t notice, but you wear your heart on your sleeve.

A heart that Levi isn’t worthy enough to handle.

Your eyes shine at him as you give him a wink and a smile, before you continue to brush Astrid.

This is fine. This is enough for him.

”There’s my favorite girl,” Mathieu exclaims, standing at the entrance of the stables before walking towards you. “The best part of the day is when you arrive here. I’m not sure how much longer I could endure Levi’s sullen looks this morning.” Looking over at Levi, he smirks. “But it seems that your arrival has changed his mood too.”

Levi stiffens while a slight blush washes over his cheeks. He doesn’t look at you, but he can feel your eyes on him.

“Get inside before you freeze, you old geezer,” Levi replies as he unsaddles Demon. “I’m going to exercise a few of the other horses before lunch.”

“I’ll help him out with that,” you add

“Of course you will,” Mathieu says, a teasing lilt in his voice. “I’ll leave you both to it then.”

“You don’t mind if I join you?” you ask, eyes on him again.

“Do what you like. They’re not my horses,” his voice as apathetic as he can muster, in hopes it won’t reveal that he loves it when you ride with him.

He’s realized that in the last month, it’s practically impossible for him to push you completely out of his orbit.

The two of you ride into the training arena, you on Astrid, and Levi on a young mare he’s been working on saddle training. He can feel a curious aura around you, a question right on the tip of your tongue.

At the end of the hour, it finally comes out.

“Levi, what’s the rest of the world like now? After The Rumbling?”

He forgot that you’ve only left Mursa once in the past three years. But why the sudden interest?

“To be honest, most of it’s in chaos right now. Practically the entire continent of Marley was decimated in The Rumbling, and the loss of such a world power has put every other nation at a stand-still. Even now, there are refugee camps everywhere as entire communities try to rebuild.”

Levi’s face darkens. “And while nations are either rebuilding or fighting for control, Paradis is building its arsenal, just biding its time to see what kind of world is going to come out of all this.”

“Some of your former comrades are going to Paradis soon as peace emissaries, right?”

“As if that’s going to make any difference, after all this.” He looks away. “Fucking idiots.”

“You didn’t want to go with them?”

“To do what? Kiss Eldian asses and beg them to be nice?” Levi clicks his tongue. “I’m a soldier, not a politician.”

“You still see yourself as a soldier?”

Levi looks up at you. He didn’t even realize he’d said that.

“No, of course not.”

“Then how do you see yourself?”

That’s something he’s asked himself time and time again. Honestly, he doesn’t know who he is anymore. His entire meaning, his purpose, had been in service to and for others, but now they were all gone, including the world he’d fought so hard to save. It was like learning to be a new person.

He’d spent the years following The Rumbling in that pursuit: joining Onyakopon and the others in rebuilding the world, hoping to find that meaning he’d lost. But through it all, this lingering emptiness followed him. His life in Mursa was supposed to be a reset, a chance for him to rediscover himself without the shadow of war and death.

So why did he feel just as lost as ever?

It embarrasses him that he can’t answer you, and so he deflects. “Tch, what’s with all the damn questions today?”

“Well, before Annika returns to Mursa this spring, she wrote to me and said that she and some other doctors are working with an organization to help set up a clinic at the Pulsella Refugee Camp.”

”She would do something that idiotic. Does she realize how incredibly dangerous it is there? That part of Marley is still a steaming pile of shit. It’s overrun with bands of warring gangs.”

“You’ve been there?”

“I haven’t, but I’ve been to plenty other camps that were the same. We did what we could, but not even the Marley military - what’s left of it - will touch that place.”

Your brows are knit in contemplation. “So that’s what’s happening beyond these mountains.”

“A lot of turmoil and strife. You’re lucky to live in a place like this.”

“I suppose I am.” You pull on Astrid’s reins, leading her out of the arena. “I should go get lunch ready.”

Something’s shifted in you, but Levi can’t quite put a finger on what that might be. It sends a pang of worry and uneasiness through his mind.

It seems that pushing his feelings down for you is going to be harder than he thought.

——- ✶ ——-

A few days pass before you return to the stables. Levi figured you had other things to do, but it didn’t stop him looking over the horizon every morning, expecting to see your figure walking in the slushy snow. It’s been unseasonably warm the past few weeks; he’d been told to expect snow well into mid-spring, but nothing about the world has been normal since The Rumbling, not even the weather. It’s beyond Levi’s level of understanding, but a scientist had explained to him that it had something to do with the months it took for the millions of steaming titan bodies to decompose, as well as the environments those same titans had destroyed.

His muscles ache as he breaks up some ice that had accumulated at the entrance of Mathieu’s home, the sound of the shovel scraping against the ground only interrupted when he hears footsteps behind him.

“Warm today. Spring will be here before we know it,” you say.

”Not nearly soon enough. I’ve about had it with snow.” He stops and leans his body on the shovel, relieving some pressure on his leg. “Haven’t seen you in a while.”

“Yeah. I’ve been busy.”

You don’t elaborate, and Levi doesn’t ask what you mean. You’re standing next to him but he feels a great distance between you both, something he hasn’t felt since becoming friends with you.

But this was the whole point of his moving away. This is what he wanted.

Right?

Your silence continues as you saddle Astrid, choosing to ride outside by yourself instead of with Levi. There’s no questions today. No asking him about his knee or how Mathieu is doing.

Something is up. And as much as Levi wants to ask you what’s going on, he knows it’s not his place. He shouldn’t pry into your life.

Mathieu, however, has no boundaries, and when you finally all sit down to lunch, he asks, “Is there something wrong, Catherine? You’re quiet today.”

You shift in your chair and wipe your lips with your napkin. “No, nothing’s wrong. But I do have some news.”

At that, both men lean forward. “Annika has asked me to help her pack up her things before her move back to Mursa this spring.” You pause, sitting up straighter. “She also invited me to accompany her to her last assignment with her hospital: to set up and build a clinic at the Pulsella Refugee Camp in the Eastern Marley Territories. You stand up and take the plates from the table. “I’ll be gone for a month or two.”

“Why?” Levi’s voice is cold and direct.

”What do you mean, why? I want to help Annika.”

”With moving, ok yes, I get that. But going to Pulsella? I told you it’s a lawless wasteland there. What can you do?”

”I guess…I just want to try and make a difference, in whatever way I can. Annika said they could use volunteers to make food, distribute aid kits, and build more permanent shelters. I think I can help.”

”How? By getting yourself killed? Some help that’ll be..”

”Levi…” Mathieu says, putting a hand on his arm.

You turn your back to both of the men, walking to the kitchen with the plates. “I knew it. I knew you wouldn’t understand. I didn’t even want to tell you.”

Levi is quick to follow you. “I don’t think you understand. That place is beyond dangerous, Catherine. The people are desperate there.

”All the more reason why people who care should go help those who have nowhere else to go.” You start roughly washing the dishes. “I’m tired of just living here while others are suffering. It doesn’t feel right.”

There’s an intense silence as you roughly rinse the plates. Levi knows he should say something, tell you that he’s worried and he just doesn’t want anything to happen to you. But to say all that would be to admit that he still cares for you deeply.

The whole problem would be solved if he just went with you, but he knows he can’t. He promised he’d stay and help Mathieu, and the old man had already put time and money into training him for this damn race. He can’t back down from his commitment.

And he knows the kind of hard work in store there; hard labor that his body can no longer accomplish. Even if he managed to go along and there was an altercation, he’s not sure he could fully protect you in a fight. Feelings of uselessness bubble up inside him.

He opens his mouth to speak, but you suddenly put down a plate and face him, cutting off his train of thought.

”And frankly, Levi, I don’t understand you. First, you told me I was strong and to rely on my friends. Now I’m trying to use my strength and be useful, but you’re against it. The way you talk to me makes me feel like you see me as some helpless, frail woman, when I’m anything but. Or maybe I am, I don’t know.”

You bite your bottom lip. Levi’s noticed that you get emotional when you’re angry. You’re probably trying to hold back tears, in an effort to look strong in front of him.

”I don’t really know who I am. But I’ve done hard things before and I can do it again.”

”Yeah, but this time I won’t be there to save you.”

He didn’t want to have to spell it out for you to make you understand.

But his words don’t have the effect he was expecting. Levi sees your body tense as you furrow your brow.

“I’m thankful for what you did for me on Mount Aspe, I really am. But don’t hold it over me like some kind of trump card anytime you want to boss me around. I didn’t ask you to save me then and I’m certainly not asking for your opinion now.”

“You’re not listening, Catherine.” He could feel his patience wearing thin.

“Oh, I hear you loud and clear, Levi. You think I need a man to look after me. Well, if it makes you feel better, I’m sure there’ll be lots of young, strong men there that will be more than happy to assist me with whatever I need.” Your voice drips with resentment.

So that’s how you see him, as some weak, old piece of shit. You probably judge him for escaping the outside world and coming here. His fists clench and he feels defensive for the first time in ages.

“Oh yeah? I didn’t know you were that lonely and desperate for a man that you’d do something this stupid.”

Shit.

He went too far. He knew it instantly when he saw the look of hurt on your face, tears forming in the corners of your eyes before you blink them away. Your jaw tenses, and something changes in the way you look at him.

”Fuck you, Levi.”

It’s not the first time those three words have been directed toward him, but hearing them come from your mouth, it makes him visibly wince.

You bolt out of the kitchen and head straight for the door.

“I leave in two days, so I need to get packing. Mathieu, Luka will come by with my stable rent payments and to ride Astrid.”

The door slams and then there’s silence. Levi can feel Mathieu scowling at him.

“What?”

Mathieu rises from his seat and shakes his head. “You can be a real asshole sometimes, you know that?”

——- ✶ ——-

“Asshole,” you mutter under your breath as you trudge through the snow.

You had a feeling Levi would react negatively when you told him your plans; it’s why you hesitated saying anything until the last minute. You knew he’d doubt your strength and question the reasoning behind your motives.

But calling you lonely and desperate…that went over the line. It was a deliberate jab.

And it infuriates you even more to admit that he’s right, to some extent. You are lonely. You do want to feel the touch of a man again, to feel wanted and desired.

But that’s not why you’re going to Pulsella. He knows that. He’s just miserable about life and wants everyone else to feel that way. You wonder now what you ever liked about him in the first place.

You’re glad he moved out. The less you see of him the better.

You slam the door and stomp through the living room, startling Max and Albert.

“Whoa. Everything ok?” Max asks.

”It’s fine,” you reply sharply. “Max, can you take me to the train station in two days?”

”Sure…I just figured Levi would take you..” he answers, each word coming out in hesitance.

”Why would you think that? He doesn’t live here anymore.”

Max scratches his head nervously. “I don’t know..I guess I thought the two of you were…“ you send him a questioning look, “...good friends.”

“Humph,” you scoff, “that man doesn’t want to have any friends.”

Needing to clear your head, you head straight to the kitchen. “I’m gonna bake something.”

But as your hands knead through the dough, you feel the embers of your temper fading. Placing the two loaves of quick bread in the oven, your mind feels even clearer. What Levi had said was hurtful, but maybe you’d been hard on him too. You’d assumed he didn’t trust in you, when maybe he was just worried about you.

He’d told you he cared for you once. Perhaps that was just his really bad way of showing that.

You expect him to walk through the door that night, admit his feelings, and apologize for being an ass. It wouldn’t be the first time he’s had to do that.

But he doesn’t come that evening, or the evening after. Your last night at home, you stop looking for him.

Perhaps it’s time you stopped expecting things from Levi that will never be.

——- ✶ ——-

Max stops the wagon in front of the train station. “You be careful out there, Catherine. I promise I’ll keep the guys in line.”

“I’m more worried about who’s gonna keep you in line.” You give Max a quick hug. “I’ll see you in a couple of months. Don’t burn the house down.”

You buy your ticket and walk to the platform, but before you can make it to the train you stop.

Levi stands there, hands in pockets, leaning against a pillar.

“What are you doing here?” you ask, knowing you can’t just ignore him.

“I had to come into town anyway to run errands for the old man.” His foot kicks a clump of dirt away from your luggage. “I figured I might as well see you off.” He reaches down to grab the handle. “Let me get that.”

Your hand quickly pulls it away. “I can carry it just fine, thanks.”

Levi walks with you silently until you reach the entrance of your train car. You’re not sure which is worse: his awkward silence or his crude remarks. Not wanting to experience either anymore, you decide to end…whatever this is that’s happening.

“Well, I’ll see you in two months. Take care.”

“Wait.”

Levi pulls out a slender knife from his pocket and places it in your hand. “For protection.”

You look down at the wooden handle. “A knife? I don’t need this.”

“It’s a switchblade, and you do need it.” He moves closer to you and puts his hand on yours, guiding your finger to a metal knob on the wooden handle. “This is the safety. You slide this to lock and unlock the knife.”

He then guides you to another button. “Just press this button and the blade pops out.” It opens with a click. “Press down this tab to slide it back into the handle.”

You haven’t felt Levi’s touch since that New Year’s morning and it makes your heart race. His hand lingers on yours, encouraging your fingers to curl around the now warm handle.

“Just take it. Please.”

Although his lips don’t say, “I’m sorry,” you know him well enough to know that this is his way of apologizing, and to show that he trusts you.

You pull your hand away from his and put it in your pocket, your way of saying that you accept his apology.

“If you’re being attacked, don’t hesitate for a moment to use it. Seconds count in those kinds of situations.”

“I’ll be careful.” You want to say more, but the conductor is yelling for all to board, and passengers begin to push by.

“Just come back safe.” Levi moves away from you slowly. “And bring back that knife. I’ve had it a long time.”

You smile, then board the train. As you find your seat and look out the window, you notice that Levi stays on the platform until the train slowly accelerates out of the station.

——- ✶ ——-

The three day train ride reminded you how big Marley was, and it was hard to believe most of it had been decimated. Trains would only take you so far, however, and Annika said she and her friend would pick you up at the final train station and drive you the rest of the way to Pulsella.

True to her word, Annika stands next to an automobile with a tall man.

He shakes your hand and gives you a warm smile.

“So nice to finally meet you, Catherine. I've heard so much about you.”

“I’m Onyankopon.”

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nightingaletrash · 1 year

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Trying to figure out the designations of Oblivion's Black Hand prior to the deaddrop switch and I just realised something strange...

Ungolim

Lucien Lachance

Arquen

Belisarius Arius

J'Ghasta

Alval Ulvani

Mathieu Bellamont

Shaleez

Havilstein Hoarblood

Banus Alor

These are all the members of the Black Hand that appear in Oblivion, excluding the PC. Four Speakers, a Listener, and their five talons, the Silencers. Ten people in all. But when the PC is named Silencer, all of these people are still alive, and if all of them were members at that time, then the Black Hand would suddenly have eleven people instead of ten. And that doesn't work with the way Lucien tells us that it works. So chances are that someone got an abrupt promotion once the killings started, and the only person who makes sense to me is Banus Alor.

We know that Bellamont was promoted to the Black Hand as a Silencer about a year or more prior to the Player's arrival in the Brotherhood. Shaleez and Havilstein Hoarblood are also Silencers, as they tend to live in remote places or on the move so they can carry out their duties without being tied to a single place.

As for the others, Ungolim is the Listener, we know that for a fact. Lucien is obviously a Speaker, and we can presume that Arquen has been one for some time, given her role as the player's guide post-questline. Belisarius mentions that he's been responsible for administrative duties for years and hasn't gotten to spill blood in a long time, which is much more in line with a Speaker than a Silencer, so we can presume he's been a Speaker for a long time.

J'Ghasta and Alval HAVE to have been members of the Black Hand prior to the deaddrop switch because they're the ones named in those fake contracts. Their roles aren't super clear because according to UESP they're both Speakers... but that doesn't really work as we already have three confirmed Speakers and three confirmed Silencers, so they have to be one or the other. Speakers seem to have an established residence while the Silencers tend to move around a bunch (with Bellamont being an exception) so I lean towards Speaker J'Ghasta and Silencer Ulvani, but it really could go either way. There's definitely a compelling case for Speaker Ulvani, so it's up to preference really

Whatever the case, that still leaves Banus Alor as our odd one out as having no mention of prior experience and history with the Black Hand, whether in dialogue or from contracts. If he was a member of the Black Hand at the time of the Purification, then the Player being named Silencer makes no sense because going by the numbers, Lucien should have a Silencer still. So what gives with his being here? The doylist reason is pretty clear - the Black Hand has five members, so Bethesda wanted you to have five people going into the Night Mother's crypt for this election ritual. It represents a hand without talons, but a whole hand nonetheless, and someone has to be elected as the thumb.

But in-universe, the only way it works is if there were some very hurried promotions, and what we have in game backs that up. The Player is promoted to Speaker pretty much immediately upon their arrival at Applewatch because Arquen and the others know that they're innocent. Bellamont, a confirmed Silencer, is also a Speaker now. Along with Arquen and Belisarius, that makes four. But they need five if they're going to be four fingers and a thumb when they invoke the Night Mother. So at some point, the Black Hand decided to pick a family member to become a Speaker, and that family member was Banus Alor. Maybe he was a potential Silencer candidate they were keeping tabs on in case a position opened up. Maybe he oversaw a Sanctuary. Or maybe he was chosen for his ability to kill, as that would aid them best against Lucien.

So yeah. Can you tell I didn't sleep at all last night?

#nightingale rambles #oblivion #the dark brotherhood #lucien lachance #mathieu bellamont #arquen #banus alor #fuck it im not tagging them all #todd gave me a square shape and a circle hole and fuck you imma make it fit

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headingalaxys-spicy · 4 months

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Hi! Maybe HCs of jealousy smex with yandere 2p alpha japan, yandere 2p alpha canada, yandere 2p alpha russia and yandere 2p alpha romano who are jealous that their currently unclaimed and not yet dating beta darling is spending a lot of time with another alpha plz? particularly their non yandere 1p counterpart 👀

Escapism. I’m 100% parcitapiting in escapism.

Also SPICE POST. Please for the love of God if spicy time stuff isn’t for you it’s a great idea to skip this post.

Yandere 2p Canada Mathieu

“Are you sure all he’s said to you is all that’s happened?” He asked you this question for the hundredth time. Even though you weren't lying, it wasn’t enough to convince him that nothing more serious happened between you and his 1p counterpart, Matthew. Even 2p’s can be insanely insecure.

“Yes, Matt, I-” He will grab your swelling boob and mold it to his liking within his hand.

“Ahhh…That hurts don’t you know!” You say in a half whimper half yell. You were doing your best to remain calm and hold your composure. You couldn't understand why he despised Matthew so much. He was essentially harmless as an Alpha and didn’t seem to attract omegas all that often so….

Mathieu grabbed your chin and brought it up to eye level with his.

“Are you sure that’s it?” Half in disbelief half in relief you said those words.

“Yes, but what has gotten you angry this way?”

He’s going to jab a syringe into your neck to make you be in heat like an Omega only an hour or so after it’s reached your veins. (It takes longer since you’re a Beta it takes forever for standard horny pills medicine to really ignite within you.) To torment you, he’ll smoke an entire pack of cigarettes before attempting to relieve you. Even though you’re covered in a layer of sweat, slick and begging for his mercy, Mathieu will have a grand time hearing you gasp his name between suppressed pleasure & blaring pain. The tight ropes tied around your wrists don't make it any easier either. Your legs will be separated by rope too tied tightly to both legs at the back of the cold metal chair.

Once he’s had enough nicotine, he will unleash his cock.

“I can forgive you. Eh? But you will have to please me.” He will grab you by the hair and jam his meat down your throat. Your inability to fully take in his cock without choking amuses him.

He’s going to litter your neck with multiple claiming bites as he rams himself into you numerous times while he thinks about ways that he can harm Matthew for talking and, much worse, hugging you. It sickened him that he could faintly SMELL the bastards' pheromones on you.

Once he finally finishes, he will begin plotting on how to make him pay while thinking of which rope and whips he’d like to use on you when he gets back. He’ll allow for you to rest but he didn’t let you finish to be fully relieved. The meds he poured into your bloodstream have an extremely delayed effect on you. You’ll be left wanting but he won’t provide for a few hours. Mathieu is devious that way.

“Your crimson necklace looks great on you sweets~” He kisses your neck gingerly to help your wounds from his bites heal but also allows his scent to seep deep into your skin.

“Thanks Matthew….but” As you pant through your budding sexual frustration. “If you were so upset by me hanging with Matthew why didn’t you just tell me?”

There will be a long pregnant pause until he can finally bring himself to admit.

“I’m not so great with the emotional stuff Y/N” He leans down closer to your face and whispers ear. “I want you to consider being my forever bonded mate.”

Yandere 2p Japan Kuro

He’s going to be cruel to you in bed. He didn’t appreciate the kind gesture that you did for Kiku.

Kuro is going to be eager to rid you of the stench that his 1p counterpart has. It smells to him too sweet, too weak, to be an Alpha. Regardless he will opt to cum all over you in his way of claiming you and washing you off from any pheromones that Kiku may have left behind while you assisted him in getting to the hospital.

You’re going to be tied to a pole for a great deal of the time that he’s railing you. Every motion that he makes will be filled with rage at your potential Paramore. Your arms are going to hurt from the rope rubbing against your soft skin. Elbows stiff, scratched, and bruised from the force of every time his dick went into you deeper with each thrust. Doing this against a concrete floor also didn’t make it any better. He’ll demand that you shower with him once he’s done ruthlessly fucking you pinned-down doggy style. While he loofas you off with Kao white Body Soap his left hand will be on your right thigh close to your heat. Kuro will towel dry you and caress your freshly washed skin.

You didn’t say a word because you knew him well enough that when he was angry, he needed…no demanded silence. You didn’t want his unbridled rage to be unleashed upon you. You knew all too well his hormones were RAGING, and all he wanted to do was keep you by his side and keep others away.

Didn’t Kiku already notice his scent had fully covered you even though you weren’t official? Weren’t the societal rules already known that you never hit on someone’s mate?

You’ll suddenly feel his hands snake around your throat tightly. Kuro will force your body to the ground as you feel the heat emitting from his constrained cock. He’ll grab a pill bottle that’s meant for Omegas that will make you sick, trippy, and horny. He’s going to use your inebriated state to knot in you a few times. You’ll have to deal with it: the pills chains, rope, whips, and foreplay are for him to reasonably get himself out of his rut . He will want you to beg for his forgiveness.

Of course, Shibari will be involved. He’s going to blindfold you and use the “Sexy Spoon” technique on you. Both of your wrists & upper arms will be tied together. Your thighs will be sweaty and bounded together. Kuro enjoys depriving you of your senses. It makes you more feeble, weak, and subdued by his power.

By the end of the night you’ll need another shower to clean all of your new scratches, bruises, and bites. (You might also have a broken bone or two) By the time Kuro’s completed his third knot within you he’s left off enough steam to not be angry and to talk with you about how he really feels about Kiku and how he never wants him to be around you.

Yandere 2p Romano

The only person on this list who would be gentle with you. However, he will throw a ton of shade at his 1p counterpart from how he dresses to his demeanor, nothing is off the table.

“Mis sweet princessa, why in the world would you want to hang out with trash like that? It’s not like he has any talents or much to offer other than calling people bastards and napping.” While you try to convince him that there is more underneath it all that there is some good. Flavo will pout.

“Y/N honey, come over this way~” His index finger will beckon you.

Flavo will slam you into the couch and kiss you furiously. He knows to use eye contact to reel your heartstrings in. Gentle sex with the occasional love bit here and there will be his motto.

He will prefer to use the sex positions that allow him to look into your eyes as he’ll passionately gasp out the love obsession that he has for you. He will save the missionary as his finishing move as he calms down.

Flavo loves being naked with you while he has one of your thighs being massaged as he penetrates you as he continued, he will give you 101+ reasons as to why Romano sucks, why he’s better, and how much he thinks you are beautiful. His aim is to make you blush as much as possible as he plows into you sweetly.

“So why not stay here and be mine Y/N. I can also help you with outfits on the daily if that will sweeten the deal.” He kisses some of your sweat away as he moves to your forehead, then proceeds to move his lips to your bright red cheeks. His fusha-colored eyes will have a gleam within them that begs you to say yes. If he doesn’t hear an immediate response from you he will begin to trail mini butterfly kisses down your arm all the way to the back of your hand.

“Please Y/N …please?”

Flavo will press you against the wall & thrust into you once more. As your bare chests rub together, igniting a fire that he’ll use to segway to dropping the “L” bomb on you.

“We were always meant to be close to the Meddetian Sea. It will be a sweet fantasy you’ll see.”

Once you finally do say yes Flavo will prep his teeth so he can mark you properly & to ensure that his signature is neat. Next time that Romano sees you he’ll know exactly who you belong to.

Yandere 2p Russia Viktor

Rage that boiled beneath his pale skin never fully showcased itself on his face. He always had an ever-present poker face. The darkened onyx pools of black were glazed over with hate.

Viktor is severely brutal when it comes to jealousy sex. He despises everything about his overly soft & weak counterpart. Having Ivan's musk on you irritates his soul.

(I hope you don’t have anything planned for the next month or two because that’s how much time he’ll need to shake off his frustrated rut.)

You will need to go to the hospital once he’s done with you to attend to your broken bones once he’s done viciously plowing into you.

The rope had made some serious indentations and lacerations in your skin. From your ankles to your wrists & bruised abdomen, you were not able to fare well, only being able to wear a simple but classy. Underneath you were wearing lacy lingerie that he was eager to unveil since he waited awhile for this night to ravish & claim you.

Once Viktor cuts you loose from your restraints, your torture isn’t over just yet. Viktor will lift your flowy black dress & whip your ass 100 times with a whip. During this, the main phrases you’ll hear him repeat:

“Sometimes you must be taught a lesson.”

“This is what though looks like Y/N.”

“You’ll get used to it. You’ll learn.”

Viktor will have you remove your clothes yourself as he watches from the chair you were initially imprisoned in.

“Stop. Don’t take your lingerie off.”

Voyeurism. 100% he loves seeing you suffer at his hand while you have minuscule to no clothing to protect you. Viktor will initially turn the air conditioner on to see your nipples perk up.

When Viktor finally ceases with the tormenting you, he won’t take his clothes off. Viktor will fuck you flat iron style while leaving two distinct marks on both sides of your neck. It’s meant to show Ivan that he’s the only ‘friend’, ‘lover’, and person that you’ll need in your life.

#hetalia writers #fic writing #writing asks #hetalia #hetalia fandom #hws #headingalaxys writes stuff #headingalaxys spicy #ヘタリア #writiers on tumblr #hetalia fanfiction writer #hetalia fanfiction #yandere hetalia

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silusvesuius · 6 days

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Hiii. Did you know you’re so awesome? Not only your art is amazing but you’re also hella funny and very big brained. Every take you have about the characters you mentioned so far is so peak.

Also, I wanted to ask about what you think of the dark brotherhood. I myself am an avid Mathieu Bellamont and Lucien Lachance fan. (Having the killed of your mother be your mentor who you spent years obsessing over the day you will spill his blood while ranting all about it to your dead mother’s head is so fkdhjdsgk) That story from Oblivion especially is just so damn delicious to me it made me feel like skyrim was a downgrade when it came to that cult.

Thank you :3

hi 🍏 well why thank you That's very sweet of u 2 say 🤗🤗💗🎀 i do also think my way of speaking about characters is PEAK. nobody! does it like me. unless we become friends, then they do it like me, too. 🥰 (tearing off wallpaper)

&& well tbh i don't think too strongly about them cus it's been a biiiiiig while since i played their quest in skajrim Lmfao like 2 yrs .. i should get in on it now that i have a new save; but not rushing it and i don't rly want to. i'm very ' proud ' of the writers for being able to create c*cero tbh, LMAO........ he's been molded to perfection without any fixes or add-ons being needed, it's crazy. i can't even say anything about him cus i don't wanna ruin what he already is. hmm.... i'd also say i keep thinking ab how that group rly consists of psychopaths that need lobotomies but are (viewed..? as) level-headed (aside from c*cero because he has very visible psychosis). don't know how to word it. i think it'd be smarter to add some demented-ness into their personalities in more obvious ways, if that makes sense. n*zir is hawwwwtttt btw + oblivvy...; i was actually planning to play that cus my friend actively is, but it seems i've changed my mind. my drive to play anything is so low it's insane, lol, oh Well. maybe some day, but probably not..... but i do find the characters in that game very cute (appearance-wise) it's perfect. nothing will top the dirt and musk that skajrim characters are covered in though. my number One

leaving you with a song. dre's verse is my fav thing atm idk why but he sounds much better here than he does in anything, ms. roq good af toooooo

youtube

#ask

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jelly-and-strawberries · 1 year

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Music Event Scenario ♡

Since apparently there's no scene for the image... I made one myself. Hope you like it.

After we managed to make that cacophonous snake go away, the guys and I finally breathed a sigh a relief.

"Why do I feel this isn't the first time we end up fighting a gigantic snake to save the day?" Said Mathieu with a strong feeling of deja vu.

"Last Christmas was the same, remember? A snake was stealing gifts" Mentioned Nevra who instead of looking tired had a bothered expression in his face. Probably because we five were always the ones who had to solve the problems on special occasions like today.

"Hopefully, it won't come back next year" Voiced Leiftan as if reading the mind of all of us.

"Don't give it ideas" Retorted Lance with irritation. It was understandable, we had wasted a lot of our time just so the others back at H.Q could enjoy the music festival. Now, the sun was going down and the concert would start-...

"OH NO!" I shouted causing the four to turn their heads in my direction. "What time is it?!"

"Ummm the sun is almost gone, so I would say... it's six or seven o'clock" Answered Mathieu nonchalantly.

"FUCK, I'M SO LATE!" I practically ran past the woods towards the H.Q while thinking how to be ready in five minutes.

"Late for what? If I may ask..." Asked Leiftan who catched up to me with the rest.

"The concert!" I said without slowing down my pace. Thanks to the their silence, I knew they didn't understand my sudden urge to go. "Remember I was supposed to sing a human song for Lady Beulanelle?"

"Shit, that's true" Mumbled Mathieu while messing with his hair.

"Well, what are you waiting for?" I gave Nevra a hard look for his unsupportive words.

"I can't go on stage like this, I look like I got beat up!" It was not a good time for Nevra to get on my nerves. "Besides, Purriry made me a special outfit for the ocassion".

"Dressing up shouldn't take you too long" Said Lance, another one who did not understand my struggle.

"I also have to do my hair and make up" I explained feeling deeply stressed. "I'll never be ready on time..."

Now Huang Hua will have another thing to use against me and make me feel guilty.

"How about we help you?" Offered Leiftan. "I can do your make up."

Leiftan... I couldn't help to look at him with adoration.

"I can help with the hair, I have a lot of experience because of Karenn" Said Nevra avoiding my gaze, maybe because he was feeling a little embarrased. I wasn't expecting him to help me too.

"And surely there's something that Lance and I can do as well" Mathieu and Lance... I wasn't expecting them to help me, but I was really grateful for their support. "What do you say? Do you let us help you out?

"Thank you, guys!"

[ ♡ ♡ ♡ ♡ ]

Once I took a shower, Mathieu and Lance helped me put on my clothes. The outfit consisted of different pieces, so it was going to take some effort to get it perfect.

I was gadly surprised with the seriousness they took in doing the task.

I had the impression that their hands lingered in some parts of my body while adjusting my clothes, but maybe it was my imagination.

I had four guys over me, I was bound to feel self-conscious.

On the other hand, Nevra and Leiftan looked very concentrated while doing my hair and make up.

The vampire was brushing my hair with the utmost care. I even caught him smiling, something very weird nowadays.

I could feel Nevra's breath against my neck which was making me feel flustered.

And with Leiftan it was no different... his face was right in front of mine. It was impossible to avoid his passionate emerald eyes.

It was so hard to remain calm when he applied the lipstick. By the way he smirked, I was sure he knew the effect he was having in me.

This situation was so surreal.

I was so thankful.

Maybe after the concert ended, I could compesate them for their hard work...

I had several ideas in mind and surely they had some of their own.

The image gives me so much material girl energy, I love it ♡

#eldarya headcanon #eldarya new era #eldarya #eldarya the origins #eldarya a new era #eldarya to #eldarya ane #eldarya leiftan #eldarya lance #eldarya nevra #eldarya mathieu #eldarya event #Eldarya music event #Cantbelievethisisthelastevent

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wouteke · 2 months

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Aussie Ascents: On High With Privateer Freddy Ovett

No mathieu mentioned but you can rly see why they get along tbh.. he talks about riding for WT devo/CT teams but quitting bc he wanted to do his own thing. WHICH IS LITERALLY MATHIEU LIFE PHILOSOPHY...............

Now, Ovett is free to “make my own mistakes” as he puts it, liberated from the need to sit within an organisational structure and a sport which – at times – treats athletes as not much more than performance machines or chess pieces moved about a board. Told where to go and when, with not much agency. “It took quite a few years for me to realise, maybe it wasn’t for me. Even though all my power numbers and everything told me it was. You work so hard and give up a lot. I’m not going to sit here and say, ‘oh, you know, I didn't get my fair chance’, I definitely did.” For him, it was as much a choice about people as performance. “The complexities and difficulties that I used to deal with off the bike, the stress of a team dynamic and trying to please people you shouldn't really need to be pleasing. I think that really impacted the way I was able to be happy at races and to perform to my level, and just enjoy racing.”

Also

Even when he’s switching off, his head is never really out of the world of endurance and sport. Ovett admits to getting absorbed in other athletes’ lives. “I’m constantly scouring for things on YouTube, keeping up with athletes; I just think there's so much good content out there now that as a fan of, of anything really, you can just jump onto YouTube and follow a bunch of cool athletes and brands. I think it's just really nice to see how different people approach training and racing and just a daily life.”

"Getting absorbed in other athletes' lives" ............ ok

#freddy ovett #If mathieu like. wasnt a generational talent and didnt get scooped up so early. surely he wouldve been exactly like this. lol

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sunskate · 2 months

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I think my problem with the costumes is that they don’t look like a team? Last season Layla’s dress and Alex’s shirt were both lovely individually, but they weren’t the same tone of blue and it jarred. This season Alex’s in-your-face neon yellow doesn’t mesh perfectly with Layla’s sweet, demure polka dots. Then in the FD she’s in cool toned red and he’s in warm orange. The colours need to match or they need to be complimentary, and they have a habit of picking costumes that are just very slightly off from each other. This is so nitpicky but they have incredible unison for a junior team and the costumes aren’t giving unison! But then again I’m aware that unlike the top senior teams they’re not going to have much money so it’s all cool, the skating is lovely and that’s far more important.

i hear you - i didn't see her 2nd dress in person for the FD, so idk how it read - if the tonal difference in blues was noticeable live

Alex's RD shirt has a circle motif to go with her polka dots - idk, it works for me that his is more graphic in design and has a contrasting acidity to her sweetness. the top of her FD dress is vermilion crossed with red, so it picks up the orange in his shirt as well as the black stripe. but it's bold to go orange + red for sure

they've been working with Phil Masse in Montreal, and he tends to be louder in his color palette than say Mathieu Caron

choosing costumes must be so tricky. juniors are skating for the judges in the arena much more than for us, so there's a theatrical element to it, maybe? that what reads as ott on the little stream might be calibrated well in person? i know black or very pale costumes tend to blend or wash out in a rink. you could be right about the colors, but i can't tell from the stream. and yeah, their skating is lovely ❤️

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temtamtom · 11 months

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Stop! ✋⛔ Show us the latest artsketch you've been working on! Send this to 5 other artists!

Stylised art? On this blog? More likely than you think!

While working on a spiderverse fan animation for school back in March-April, I came up with a spiderverse AU that I’ve grown very fond of. I’ve been fiddling around with it in my mind a lot, but I decided pretty recently to try and make art/content for it. So here’s me figuring out the style + working on some character designs. They’ll be rendered properly, ofc, to better match the style.

I have a lot of plans for this AU but I feel nervous talking about them publicly because I worry about hyping myself up too much and making promises I can’t keep. So. I’ll enjoy the ride as long as I can. Maybe you guys will see more of it eventually!

In the meantime, I’ll just say this about it:

Mathieu never got to enjoy his role as Spiderman for very long before a tragic loss caused him to hang up the mantle for good. But the world needs Spiderman, now more than ever. With the help of a long-lost friend, Mattie now has to regain the courage and confidence necessary to put on the mask again.

#hws Canada #wip #I’m gonna be honest I couldn’t answer this ask when I got it because I was actually working on stuff I can’t post publicly so #had to wait until I started drawing smthn else

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unironicallytes · 2 months

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It's WIP Wtuesday!

Aka, I don't remember what day it is but want to share a WIP. I just got home from a trip where I ended up writing a lot during plane rides, so here you go! I've included Zath's hover-text asides as smaller, bracketed text at the bottom. For context, Zath and Lu have just arrived at the Cheydinhal Sanctuary, where they've run into Mathieu and Antoinetta.

Awkwardness ensues for ... multiple layers of reasons.

Speaker wordlessly passed me his travel bag while he addressed the pair, clasping his hands together and offering a gracious smile. I exchanged a quiet nod with Mathieu, who flicked his gaze from Lucien for only a second to acknowledge it. Then, I dipped into our room to set our things down. I caught snippets of the conversation as it continued behind me. “I did not expect to be home so early,” Speaker replied. “But when I arrived, I received word from Sanctifier Ocheeva about your progress and was able to make it in time.” Of course, that wasn't actually our reason for visiting, but you have to admit, it was pretty convenient. “You seem to be adjusting well. You look much happier than when we last spoke, and I'm quite pleased to see this. Do tell me how you've been.” Perhaps he expected a few sentences at most, maybe ‘I’m doing wonderfully, Speaker, I love being cooped up here reading in the chapel, thank you!’ or something along those lines. I don't think he expected for Antoinetta to deliver him a full, *autobiographical account of the past month. How did she even have so much to say? An Initiate’s life in the Sanctuary was the exact opposite of exciting. You were not permitted to leave before being baptized - in fact, if you tried to leave or even object too strongly, you'd be sent **‘home’. So, a Sanctifier sat your ass down and taught you our scripture until you could repeat it forwards, backwards, and sideways. That was it! You couldn’t even train with weapons yet! It was over a decade ago for me, but coming from a life bounding around the mountains of Valenwood, I found the process excruciating. The same apparently could not be said for our newest recruit. I hid my smirk as I returned to Speaker’s side. Antoinetta was still going. A glance at Mathieu told me he too was suppressing joy at witnessing our leader’s discomfort. The corners of Speaker's lips had remained politely upturned, but his smile’s genuinity had begun to erode with his patience, of which he had very little to begin with. “ … and I’d never known vampires were so kind! Sanctifier Vicente has been such a terrific mentor. Did you know he's been to Vvardenfell? What am I saying, of course you probably know, haha! I've only heard stories of Morrowind, but I've always wanted to see it in person. Brother Movis says it's not the best place to work though, that’s a shame!” The way she, a fresh-faced recruit, chatted so casually with what was essentially a high priest of our order was admirable in an absurd way. She was remarkably illiterate when it came to reading a room.

[*What? Fine, I know what you're probably thinking, but it's acceptable when I do it, because my commentary is so much more interesting.]

[**The permanent one. With Father. Please, we're not just going to let you go back to your last place of residence if you decide "actually this isn't for me, I'd like to quit now." Once a Speaker gives you that password, you're past the point of no return.]

#my writing #dear brother #dark brotherhood #tes fanfic #oblivion fanfiction #tes oblivion #lucien lachance #mathieu bellamont #<- bearie im speaking directly to you dont look in his tag if you dont want spoilers #antoinetta marie #tes oc #oc: zathiril #tesblr #writing wip

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sixpennydame · 8 months

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North Star ✶ Chapter 10

A Levi Ackerman x oc slow burn

Previous Chapter | Next Chapter | Series Masterlist | AO3

Just one kiss, can change everything between you and Levi.

My dearest Martin,

Remember when we were small, and I’d follow you around everywhere? I used to trail behind you like a lost puppy, but you never scolded me. You’d just smile, take my hand, and lead me to wherever you were going.

Throughout my whole life, whenever I reached out my hand, you were there.

These past three years, I wondered how I could go on without you, knowing that when I reached out, you wouldn’t be there. The world felt colder, and I felt so alone.

But you told me I have more to do, more life to live, so I’m going to do that. This past year, I’ve learned that I’m not alone and that I’m stronger than I thought.

Thank you for always having faith in me, when I didn’t have faith in myself.

I’ll see you again, in another time, another place.

Love,

Catherine

——- ✶ ——-

Your hand was warm in his, your lips even warmer as you kissed one cheek, then the other. Levi thought his heart would jump out of his chest, it was pounding so furiously. He’d looked at your face hundreds of times in the last several months, but right now, with the light of the early dawn on your face, he thought it was the most beautiful he’d ever seen you. His eyes glance down at your lips - he wants to feel them on his skin again, he yearns for it.

You don’t move. He doesn’t either. The most he can manage is a light caress of your face, but it’s not enough. There’s an energy between your two bodies, urging him to move closer, to press his lips against yours.

All he has to do is move.

His head inches forward. First, a brush of his nose against yours, but then he tilts slightly and he’s kissing you like you are the most delicate porcelain.

And you don’t back away, you simply lean in, your other hand moving up to press lightly against his chest. His free hand moves to your waist; he wants so badly to pull you against him, to kiss every inch of you.

When your lips finally separate, he doesn’t know if seconds or minutes have passed.

It’s the sharp pain shooting through his knee that pulls him back to reality. He blinks once, then twice, and sees you there, in front of him, your eyes flitting open.

What have I done?

“Levi..” Your voice is soft. Sweet. But the way his name hangs in the air, he’s not sure if it’s a blessing or a curse.

Say something, you idiot.

His head is spinning, his heart pumping. He needs to take a step back and reevaluate what is happening here. Afraid of what you might say next, he speaks.

“I…”

I think I’m in love with you.

I have never felt this way before.

I need to know if you feel the same way.

“...I should go check on the horses. Who knows if Mathieu is even sober enough to do it.” He backs away from you. “And you should get some rest.”

He walks to the washroom and while splashing his face with cold water, he hears the door to your room click shut. Maybe it’s the cold, but his knee has been bothering him more lately; it probably didn’t help that he was on his feet practically all night. Wiping his face with a towel, he looks at himself in the mirror; the deep scars running down his cheek, his useless and clouded eye. And then there are the scars not visible on the surface, the feelings of loss and pain. His body and heart have paid the price for his sacrifice, broken in so many ways beyond repair.

He touches the jagged, uneven scar on his lips and wonders why you’d returned his kiss. Maybe you felt sorry for him. Maybe you saw it as an obligation, after all he’s done.

Because really, who would want someone so broken?

——- ✶ ——-

Your lips are still warm and tingly from the kiss as you fall onto your bed, your mind ablaze with thoughts that you know will make it impossible to go to sleep. There’s a door in your room that leads to the washroom and you can hear him there, just on the other side of the wall.

What would happen if you just opened it and told him how you felt? That slowly throughout the months, your feelings of friendship have turned into something more. Something that you haven’t felt in years, and you can’t imagine feeling with anyone else but him.

Is this love?

It’s a strange sensation, opening your heart to another; there’s a tinge of guilt there as you think of Martin. He told you to love again, but this…

…is that what this is?

It’s almost too terrifying to think about. Martin was the first and only person you’d ever loved, and it had never even crossed your mind that you could care for someone else to the same degree, much less fall in love again.

You laugh. Listen to yourself - it was just an innocent kiss, probably nothing more.

But oh, how wonderful it was. Slow and soft, and when his hand went to your waist you’d wanted him to pull you in tighter. You’d leaned in, lips slightly parted, inviting his tongue to mingle with yours. Why did he pull away? And if he hadn’t, what might have happened next?

A heavy sigh escapes your mouth. You feel like a schoolgirl again with a first crush. Everything feels newer, brighter.

There’s a shuffling and then you hear the door open and close, his footsteps echoing down the hallway as he walks to his bedroom. There’s still time to tell him how you feel.

Your feet pad silently down the hallway as you stand in front of his bedroom door. You take a deep breath and just as you raise your fist to knock -

– There’s a loud, abrupt pounding on the front door.

You rush to the door and Annika stands before you, hair disheveled and makeup smudged from a night of holiday revelry. But you can tell from the look in her eyes that she’s not here to drunkenly wish a Happy New Year.

“Annika, is something the matter?”

“Is Levi here?”

Levi joins the two of you in the entryway, limping slightly. You both look down to see that he’s wearing a brace of some kind around his knee. The thick material wraps around his leg, held together by leather laces.

Annika frowns. “What’s going on there?”

“An old war injury. When it gets bad, I put this on.”

“You should let me check it.” Annika moves towards him curiously.

“No thanks,” he counters, then rushes to take the focus off of him. “What did you need me for?”

Annika’s face turns from curiosity over Levi’s leg to worry.

“It’s Mathieu.”

——- ✶ ——-

“Dumbass…” Levi says, arms crossed.

Looking down at Mathieu, sprawled out on a sofa in Annika’s family home, you’re prone to agree with Levi. “How exactly did this happen?”

“Well, Oleg said he could race me down to the town square. Perhaps I’d had too much to drink…I slipped and fell forward…”

He lifts up his two bandaged arms, both in makeshift slings.

“...and he broke both of his elbows,” Annika cuts in. “He’ll be unable to use his arms for at least six weeks.”

Levi pinches the bridge of his nose. “Six weeks…I suppose that puts me in charge of the stables for the time being.”

“Or longer,” Annika interjects again. “It really depends on how quickly he heals. And he’ll need help with other things, like getting dressed, cooking..” she looks away to keep from laughing at the whole ridiculous situation, “...relieving himself.”

Mathieu has no immediate family, no next of kin, no one to help him through this time. But Mursa’s a tight-knit community and people look out for each other; you’d be happy to help him out.

“Why don’t you come live at my place for a while?” you ask. “I have an extra room, and then I can help with whatever you need.”

“And leave the stables? The horses? My home?” Mathieu’s face becomes defiant; you imagine he’d cross his arms in frustration, if he could.

Annika rolls her eyes. “Don’t be so stubborn. You can’t be by yourself.”

“I’ll look after him,” Levi says as he helps Mathieu off the sofa. “Let’s just get you back to your place and we can figure the rest out.”

It’s a realization that you’ve slowly come to these past few months: that beneath his harsh words and intense scowls, Levi is incredibly caring. It’s not necessarily something he tries to hide, but it’s also not apparent to all. It’s a special part of his character that you really love about him.

Love…that word is becoming easily relatable to Levi these days.

“I can come and help out too.” You get on the other side of Mathieu.

“I’m perfectly capable of walking, thank you very much,” he huffs, shaking you both off of him. A bit of a loner, Mathieu’s a man who’s prided himself on his strength and independence. A bit headstrong too. You wonder if that’s why he had Annika bring Levi over. The two men are truly one of a kind.

Mathieu looks at the brace on Levi’s leg and his heavy limp. “Look at us – like the blind leading the blind.” He laughs.

“Don’t test me, old man,” Levi warns, “you don’t need any more broken bones.”

——- ✶ ——-

By the time you and Levi get Mathieu back to his home, the morning sun had moved over the mountains and was now shining brightly over the valley. The old, creaky home is cold and quiet, and you get a fire going while Levi helps the old man out of his clothes.

“Oi, did you bathe in alcohol all night? You reek.” You can hear Levi’s voice from down the hall.

“I guess you’re gonna have to help me bathe then, Nurse Levi.” Mathieu cackles.

It makes you laugh too, listening to them bicker. “You two argue like an old married couple,” you yell their way.

“Ow! Be gentle!” Mathieu whines. “Married? If this is your tender touch, Levi, then I pity any woman you ever marry.”

You’ve felt Levi’s touch, and it is tender. You can still feel his calloused fingers running across your jaw, lifting your lips to his. You wonder what it would feel like for him to take your clothes off, to run his hands over your body as you lay in a bathtub.

“Just stop talking and get in the damn bathtub! Keep your arms above the water!” Levi’s tone is strict, but you can hear the care in his voice, as if he’s reprimanding a child.

Even his stern voice is turning you on right now.

Catherine, pull yourself together!

It seems that one little kiss has set your mind and heart ablaze. You wonder if Levi feels the same.

There’s no knowing until you get a free moment to talk to him.

You busy yourself with making breakfast while Levi bathes Matheiu and helps him get dressed, desperate to do anything to get your mind off the kiss. Yet, as the three of you eat, Levi barely looks at you. In fact, he’s barely acknowledged you at all this whole morning.

Once Matheiu is in his bed, Levi helps you with washing dishes, still in awkward silence.

“I better get out to the stables. There’s lots to do now,” he says on his way out of the kitchen.

“Let me help you.”

“No. I don’t want you exhausting yourself. You’ve worked too hard to recover this past week, and I don’t want you getting sick again. Go get some rest.”

There’s that stern but caring voice, now directed at you. You know there’s no arguing with him once he has that tone.

“Alright, but can we talk later?” You attempt to keep your voice cool and neutral, but there’s no hiding the expectation in your eyes.

He looks over his shoulder at you. “Sure. Later,” then turns to leave.

——- ✶ ——-

Levi knows exactly what you want to talk about. He could see it in your eyes all morning. But these romantic feelings - the whole situation - is such foreign territory to him. Not that he hadn’t had experiences with women before; there’d been stolen kisses in dark alleys in The Underground, and desperate make-out sessions before a mission, just to feel alive. But this was different with you. It was the first time in his life that he wanted more.

He hadn’t thought any of this through clearly yet; kissing you wasn’t exactly in the plans, and yet..

And yet, it had felt so right at the time, he can’t deny that.

It also felt selfish. He doesn’t deserve you.

You deserve someone who can make you truly happy, who can protect and take care of you. At his age and with his injuries, it’s more likely that you’d be taking care of him.

The pain shooting through his leg reminds him of his inadequacies as he puts clean hay in the horses’ troughs. It’s a constant reminder of the strength he once had, now long gone.

And he’s made peace with that. He knows he’s not Humanity’s Strongest anymore - he doesn’t want to be. But who is he now? And when you look at him, what do you see?

Probably just some pathetic, old soldier, he thinks. And you’re so beautiful, and young, with so much more life to live.

Demon whinnies at Levi, breaking him away from his thoughts. “Feeling restless too, are you?” he asks, petting Demon along the bridge of his nose. “What do you say we burn some frustrated energy in the indoor arena?”

Levi harnesses Demon and gets on his back, careful not to put too much pressure on his knee. He can feel Demon’s need to zip through the snow and across the frozen meadow, but his firm grip on the reins keeps the spirited stallion in control.

The indoor arena wasn’t far from the stables and was a considerable size - perfect for keeping the horses healthy and energized during the long, snowy winter. Mathieu was once one of the best racehorse breeders and trainers in Southern Marley, as he often bragged to Levi, and it was his dream to have his sons take over the business someday. But when his sons were conscripted in the Marleyan army to fight in one of the many battles against the Mid-East Allied Forces years ago, they never returned. Still, he kept the training facilities clean and ready, as if he was prepared for them to return at any moment.

That refusal to let his grief overtake him, even in the most difficult of circumstances, was something Levi respected in Mathieu.

He and Demon start at a slow walk, working in and around some barrels placed in various parts of the barn. They weave in and out, Demon snorting impatiently.

“I know, but let’s get warmed up first.” Levi says to Demon as they go into a trot, then finally, a canter.

The arena is big enough for Levi to run Demon at a full gallop, and soon they’re racing around the perimeter. The cold air whips at Levi’s face, waking him up and making him more alert. He empties his mind and lets his body work with Demon’s; he’s ridden him long enough that it seems they both read each other’s minds, each muscle twitch a tell-tale sign of what the other is thinking.

Riding horses is one of the few times Levi feels whole again, the adrenaline coursing through his body as he works purely on instinct with the animal. If he closed his eyes, he could almost feel like he’s flying through the air with ODM gear again.

Energy sufficiently spent, Demon slows to a prance as horse and rider return to the stable. The other horses neigh, anxious for their turn. “Ok, ok, you’ll all get a chance,” Levi concedes, unsaddling Demon.

When Levi returns to the house, he finds Mathieu up and sitting in front of the large picture window overlooking the stables. “You should be resting, old man.”

“This is resting, and it is driving me crazy,” Mathieu whines. “It’s gonna be a long two months.

“For you and me both.” Levi warms his hands by the fire, the flames’ illumination showing a deep contentment on his face.

“You didn’t have to ride every horse today, you know,” Mathieu says.

“I know that. But I enjoyed it, and they all needed to stretch their legs.”

“Speaking of legs…” Mathieur looks at the brace on Levi’s knee, “...you gonna be ok?”

“I’m fine. Or as fine as I’m ever gonna be.”

“And you can ride with that brace on?”

“Yeah, it’s not too big a deal. And it’s not like I need it all the time.”

Suddenly there’s a spark in Mathieu’s eyes. He leans forward. “Have you given any more thought to letting me train you and Demon for racing?” Levi is silent, contemplative. “I’ll make a deal with you: I’m obviously going to need someone here with me ‘round the clock while I’m,” he looks down at his arms, “incapacitated. If you’ll stay here and help me out, I’ll provide you a room, training, and even sponsor and pay for your first race.” Levi still doesn’t say a word, just crosses his arms and looks at the man across from him. “Come on…that’s a pretty good deal,” Mathieu smiles, “and I know how much you love riding.”

The fire crackles as Levi thinks on it. Mathieu does need constant care right now and he would be here practically all the time anyway. But to be away from you..

Maybe that’s what’s needed right now, though; some time for him to step away and let things cool off. Without him constantly there and bothering you, you’ll see that the kiss was all a mistake, if you didn’t see it that way already. After the rescue on the mountain and all that time spent together, of course feelings of friendship and romance would get misplaced. What you and he need is some space; it’s the best thing for both of you.

The best thing for you.

“Well,” Mathieu smirks, “what do ya say?”

——- ✶ ——-

When you arrived back home from Mathieu’s, you immediately dove onto your bed and fell asleep. It was one of those deep sleeps where, upon waking, it feels as if days, maybe weeks have gone by. It takes a few moments for you to remember where you are and what time it is. Only until you turn your head and see the picture of you and Martin next to your bed do you remember you’re back at home. For over three years, the photo of you and he on your wedding day has stood vigil on the altar next to your bed. Looking at the two smiling faces, your heart warms.

…you should allow yourself to feel love again. Martin had told you on that mountain top. Did he really mean it?

Love makes this whole world worth it.”

“He’s nice, Martin. A little rough around the edges, but I think you’d really like him.”

There’s that guilt again, rearing its ugly head. Guilt that you’re moving on, that you’re finding happiness without him.

“But it’s just a crush. I’m not looking to fall in love,” you say out loud, less to Martin and more to yourself.

Because surely, this isn’t love.

It’s the rumbling of your stomach that finally gets you out of bed. The days are slowly getting longer but the winter sun has already started to set, making you realize that you need to start on dinner before Max, Albert, and Luka return.

You’d just started on a potato soup when you hear the door open and the voices of the three young men filling the empty space around you. Although you had loved the time with only Levi, you’d missed their energy and smiling faces.

”Happy New Year!” Albert says gleefully, barreling into the kitchen and giving you a big hug.

“And to you all as well!” you answer back as you give them each a light hug and kiss on the cheek. “It was so quiet here without you.”

“I’m sure it was. I doubt all that alone time with Levi was very exciting. Did he even come out of his room?” Max asks, a hint of jealousy in his voice.

”I had a wonderful time with Levi. He..”

He kissed me. It was amazing. You want to cry out from the rooftops.

“He helped me clean and accompanied me to some New Year’s Eve parties. It was fun.”

The heat of your blushing cheeks makes you turn your back to the three. “But other than that it was a quiet week.” You busy your hands with cutting potatoes and carrots. “Enough about me. I want to hear all about your time back home.”

While you cook, they tell you stories of their towns and neighborhoods: the friends they saw and their family traditions. Their tales continue as you eat, and you listen intently, but all the while noting that Levi hasn’t yet returned home.

It’s late into the evening when you finally hear the doorknob to the front door turn. You’re reading in the sitting room and listening to music on the gramophone with the others as he enters, giving a nod when everyone wishes him a Happy New Year.

“I hear you’re taking care of Old Man Mathieu for a few weeks,” Max says.

”Yeah. It’s not like he has anyone else.”

”He has all of us,” you remind him. “I can go over with you every morning and help out.”

”About that,” Levi says, shifting his weight off of his knee and running his hand through his hair. “I’ve decided I’m going to live at Mathieu’s for the time being. At least until he recovers.” The record has stopped playing and it’s suddenly become quiet in the room. “If I’m having to work double time at the stables, I might as well just stay there and help him with other things too. I mean, the man can’t even shit by himself.”

“Oh..” the word escapes your mouth before you know it. Did Levi notice how sad it sounded?

You reprimand yourself for your reaction. Mathieu needs help, and Levi is willing to do that. It’s admirable. “That’s good of you to do that, Levi. Of course, it’s the right thing to do.”

“Well then, I should pack a few things and get back over there.” He nods again and walks to his room.

You wait expectantly for an invitation to join him. You’ve been imagining the conversation all evening:

“Catherine, can we talk in my room? Privately?”

The three younger men look at each other, before Albert speaks up. “We should probably be getting to bed anyway.”

You follow Levi to his room, your heart thumping loudly. As you stand in the doorway, he closes the door, brushing so close to you that you can feel his breath move across your neck. He stands to face you.

“I’ve wanted to talk to you…about this morning,” you say.

“We don’t need to talk about it,” he’d reply, wrapping his arm around your waist and pulling you close to him. He kisses you again, this time, fully and confidently.

Perhaps you don’t even make it to your room that night.

It gives you butterflies just thinking about it. But as minutes pass, you realize that he’s not going to call for you. The minutes inch by, until Albert, Max, and Luka say their good nights and retire to their rooms. Only then do you decide to take the initiative. You can’t keep wondering any longer.

You walk over to his door and knock. “Levi, can I come in?”

He opens the door and gestures for you to enter. You do so, nervously.

You wait, but he continues to pack his bag.

Time to be brave, Catherine.

“Levi, I want to talk about…” your hands are sweaty and clutched at your sides as you take a quick breath, “...about this morning.”

“Right…” Levi takes his own breath.

You can do this. You can tell him how you feel!

He stops packing to look at you. “There’s no need to talk about it.”

Your heart is beating fast, wanting him to move closer, to touch you.

“It was a mistake,” he says, bluntly.

Levi isn’t one to mince words; he gets to the point, you know that. But the way he says it - so coldly, it makes your stomach drop.

And all that excitement, that expectation, comes crumbling down around you.

“You’re my friend, Catherine. Nothing more. That kiss…was a lapse in judgment.” He looks away. “I’m sorry if I made you think otherwise.”

A mistake. A lapse in judgment. The words cut like a knife.

“Right,” you finally reply, after a few stunned, silent moments. “Right…a mistake. It absolutely was.”

A part of you actually believes that. The other part, however…

You mask your feelings with a smile. “There’s no harm done, Levi. We’re still friends.” You pat his arm, lingering there just a little bit before pulling back. Everything feels awkward now. “Let’s just pretend like it never happened.”

There’s no point in telling him how you feel now; he’s made his feelings known loud and clear, and you’d obviously read everything wrong. What a fool you’ve been.

He looks into your eyes again, as if he’s trying to read what you’re really saying, how you really feel. “Right.” His own eyes soften, and it looks as if he’s going to say something, but stops himself. “I should get back over there,” he finally says, “Mathieu can barely wipe his own ass now without my help.”

You stifle a breathy laugh. “You probably should.”

The two of you walk to the door and Levi hauls his bag over his shoulder. “I’ll come by later for the rest of my things. You can rent out my room during that time, if you need to.”

You clutch at the sweater over your shoulders as he opens the door. The outside air suddenly feels colder, crueler.

“That’s your room, Levi. It’ll be waiting for you to return.” You search his face for some kind of reaction, but it’s only cold indifference. “You are coming back, right?”

“Yeah. Of course,” he answers, but there’s a tone that makes you feel like he’s unsure.

Everything feels so unsure now.

“Goodnight, Catherine.” He walks into the darkness of the snowy night, leaving you standing in the doorway.

You thought the kiss was going to change everything for you and he, and it did. Just not in the way you’d wanted.

You blink away tears and close the door.

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Rediscover • Part 1 • 3 - Mathieu

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Chapleau Cree Fox Lake Indian Reserve is about seven hours away from the summer camp in Muskoka, because of the direction Mathieu doesn’t join the others on the bus to the camp. He’s being transported alone in the back of the car of an absolutely chatty Sienna named Timothy.

Mathieu ignores him; instead he watches the dashboard hula girl violently rock back and forth as Timothy traverses the rocky terrain. Timothy is halfway through talking to nobody when Mathieu asks him about the girl.

“What’s with the little lady?”

Timothy pauses. “Huh?”

Mathieu hangs his arms around the seat in front of him, placing his chin on its shoulder he points with his lips over to the figurine. “The little dancer on the dashboard.”

Timothy nods and smiles. “All the company vehicles have one. It’s to match the theme of the camp. Well, maybe not in July, we like to get a little festive like our friends down under.”

Mathieu nods, he sighs out of boredom before throwing himself back in his seat.

“So what’s going on with your family?” Timothy asks.

“My Dad went with my sisters to a Powwow since it’s getting close to the end of the season. They usually all go just to cheer on my younger sister.”

“You mean your little sister?”

“No, they’re both older than me.”

“Oh, I’ve never been to a Powwow, are they fun?”

Mathieu blows air out from between his lips before answering. “I’d say so, I don’t dance like my sister does, I just watch.”

“I wonder if there are any vendors there.”

“There is, but don’t expect anything to be cheap. They know what their work is worth.”

Timothy laughs, then happily sighs. “I guess I’d understand their reasoning, personally I wished people would pay more for my work, though I suppose it’s up to the government how much I get paid.”

“Is it like a Federal Union?” Mathieu asks.

“Yeah, I suppose it is, though sometimes it depends on the quality of the product.”

Mathieu furrows his eyebrows, confused about what the quality of a product would have to do with a summer camp, much less how there would be a federal union running at something done providentially.

Midway through the several hours Timothy rolls into an ONroute and gets out of the car. The building is monstrous in size, its roof is high enough to house the semi-trucks that park around it. “I’m gonna get a bathroom break and some food, are you joining me?” Timothy asks him.

Mathieu nods, getting out of the car and taking the handle of the entrance door once Timothy passes into him.

After going to the bathroom Mathieu gets in line with Timothy to get food. “What do you think you’ll get?” Timothy asks him.

“I’m not sure yet it’s been a while since I’ve been to a Tim Hortons or anywhere really.”

“I’m guessing your parents would rather make home-cooked meals instead?” Tim laughs.

Mathieu shakes his head. “No, well yes, it’s just that everything around us is super expensive, sometimes even food is priced like it’s a novelty.”

“Ah, well you’ll be happy knowing you won’t break the bank here!”

Mathieu lets out a little ‘tch’ noise, “I hope not!”

Mathieu heads back to the car with jalapeño bread twists and what he’s pretty sure is a Coffee Crisp in slushie form. As they keep driving through forests Mathieu imagines a little stick figure running through the trees to keep up with them. Apparently, that’s a shared experience almost everyone has. It's strange how deep down everyone imagines the same thing despite never passing the idea to each other.

As he doses off more the car becomes slower, and he’s jolted awake by rumble strips, he sees the car pass between two totem poles, they must be in the camp now. Timothy passes into a round parking lot in front of one of the main buildings.

Mathieu gets out of the car with his carry-ons and is greeted with two large hibiscus bush hedges wrapping around the path to the main building. Timothy nods at him before driving off the car to god-knows-where. Mathieu would be annoyed at his sudden abandonment if it weren't for the fact he was stuck in that car all day. He looks up at the building, it’s made up of an A-line roof with the entire front wall being a giant window. He assumes he’s supposed to head up the stairs into the building. He walks up the creaky steps, struggling to get his suitcase up the horribly built stairs.

“Can I help you with that?” Mathieu looks over to where the voice comes from, and he’s horrified. There’s a muscular tall being a meter away from him with a mask displaying the word ‘HOSTILE’ where its face should be.

He struggles to put another stair step in between both of them. “I’m, I’m fine.” He tells it.

“Are you sure?” It asks in a gruff woman’s voice, Mathieu looks down at it, putting another step in between them. He sees all the different body grafts and wonders if its voice is even its own.

“Yes. I can carry my own things.” He uses a defensive tone with it.

“Is this about the mask? Because…” the figure suddenly slumps over. “Never mind, your opinion wouldn’t change either way.”

Mathieu can’t help but feel a little sympathetic towards the figure, even as he flees up the stairs with his hands full. Finally getting to the doors, he finds that the other counsellors have made a pile of luggage in the entryway, the only thing they probably took inside was their phones. Mathieu does the same and starts walking into the main room to meet the other counsellors.

He walks towards the other camp counsellors, he thinks all will be fine until he gets closer to the group and everyone starts staring at him. Feeling intimidated, he awkwardly laughs, letting out a little “hi” as he makes his way around them to the back of the room. He sits in the corner, shrouded by the counter screwed to the wall. Mathieu is ashamed that he’s like this, his older sisters would’ve stood high and mighty even if everyone was looking at them, he on the other hand can’t stand all the gazes.

“You good?”

Mathieu raises his head to look across the room, he’s met with a white mask with a light blue square on it looking back at him. The word over the square reads ‘MODIFIED’, kinda like how that other figure had the word ‘HOSTILE’ on their mask.

“I’m fine,” He responds. “You?”

The figure taps its mask. “Fine too, but this thing is a pain in the ass.”

“Why do you have to wear it?”

“I don’t know, I guess it’s some stupid government mumbo jumbo.” The figure groans as it gets up to come sit beside him. “I’m guessing you don’t really want to be seen either?”

Mathieu shakes his head slowly, letting out a soft “no.”

“Yeah, they kept asking me questions, so I just put myself in this corner. Everyone here seems to think I’ll be happy to answer all their questions because I’m Modified because I’m the best version of what comes back around. Well, screw it! I want to be left alone!”

“Yahē!” Mathieu exclaims. “I agree.”

The figure lifts a hand towards him, there’s some wrist wrap on it. “Come join the club… uh?”

Mathieu shakes his hand. “Mathieu. What’s with the wrist wrap?”

“Roland. I just twisted it, it’ll be fine.” He waves it off, his head suddenly jolts towards an umber girl coming towards them.

She looks at Mathieu. “Sorry, I just wanted to say that I liked your braids.”

He smiles and nods. “Thanks, my mom told me they’d last longer out here, I’ll still probably take them out at least two times.”

The girl nods, “Personally I can keep my dreads in for longer, though I don’t think the smell of a campfire would mix too well with them.”

Mathieu laughs while Roland turns to the girl. “I don’t think we’ll be doing any campfires anyways, all of our food is supposed to come from a cafeteria… So have you come to join the ‘We don’t want to be bothered.’ Club?”

The girl shrugs, “Maybe, that boy over there kept trying to touch my hair.” She gestures to a menacing-looking teen with spiked hair.

“Yeah, that guy screams ‘asshole’. He's started to look at me funny ever since I introduced myself to him.”

The girl nods. “Judging by his head scars, he’s most likely got an unwind part in his brain, maybe he feels guilty.”

Roland wraps his arms around himself. “No, it wasn’t like that, he kept trying to ask where I was unwound and where my body was stored, I didn’t answer him, not like I’d even know the answer to the second question.”

“Weird,” The girl holds her hand. “You guys can call me Gigi by the way.”

“Mathieu.” He shakes her hand.

“Roland.” He states, he doesn’t go in to shake her hand, rather, he stays wrapped up in himself. Mathieu wonders if what that boy said to him really cut into his psyche.

“If you don’t mind me asking Roland,” Gigi asks him, trying to stare him in the eyes as much as she can through the mask. “How are you kept when you’re unwound?”

Roland looks down, it’s hard to read whether he’s thinking or been made uncomfortable by the question. “I don’t remember, I think a nurse told me it’s like a freezer aisle, and that every door has a different kid on display.” He tells them.

“How long were you like that?” Mathieu asks.

“Two years I think, they never tell ya this, but there’s already too many kids going around to be used. Even then, the section I was put in made undesirable… but, whatever keeps me whole I guess.”

“What section were you put in?” Gigi prods.

“The exotic section.” He states plainly.

Mathieu cringes, he looks at Gigi. “Is there really an exotic section?”

Gigi shakes her head. “I've never seen one, then again, I’ve only ever been in one of those shops once in my life.”

“Why’d they put you in that section?” Mathieu asks. “No offence, but I don’t really see anything… about you… that would be…”

“My guess was that he had a horrible personality, he almost killed a kid when he was alive.”

“He?” Gigi questions.

Roland nods. “I’m not supposed to consider him myself anymore, since I’m modified, I’m more like a bug-fixed clone of the original,” He pauses. “I don’t like thinking about it too much. Other than that, I can only assume they picked up on him and I being a second-generation immigrant.”

“Oh, where do your parents come from?” Gigi asks.

“My mom is still from the U.S., but my dad comes from Spain.”

“Ah, right, you’re one of the people coming into Canada for this camp.”

“Uh-huh, how many of us are there? I already travelled with my friend to get here.”

“Well, I think there’s one more person from the U.S., then there’s two from France.”

“France? Wow, I would not have come here if I was all the way from France.” There was a tone of disbelief on Roland’s tongue, Mathieu almost certainly knew his eyes had gone wide open as well.

#unwind #unwind dystology #unwind series #unwind fanfic #sequel fic #roland taggart #unwind oc #recalled nero t.

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