#but mostly it's parents who freak me out. or people who aren't parents yet but kids are all they talk about

[non-un-topo]

Have to thank my partner for realizing before I did that talking about kids with people makes me extremely dysphoric --- whereas I thought I just had a problem and hated children or something lol

[squishosaur]

i hear youre a treyjade enjoyer, do you have any headcanons with them or how they got together? :0

yeah ummm.... a few :lookingaway:

♡ - i'd like to think that jade has always looked up to and respected trey, but when he realized "oh, this guy is not as normal as he says he is" he is just infatuated and needs to study him. like a freak.

☆ - i think trey is someone who sees the best in people. like, he could be seeing the scary parts of jade, he just finds him silly and interesting though. riddle is distressed like, "you DO NOT want that guy." but trey is like "i could fix him" when jade is Actively trying to make him worse.

♡ - jade definitely fell first, but that doesn't mean trey didn't Also fall fast. trey was sort of interested in him, and jade instantly picked up on this and started toying with him. anything from offhanded comments about how nice he looks or how polite he is to just straight up "i heard you were interested in dentistry. can you look at my teeth" and then he does Not wait for an answer. trey is conflicted about this!!! floyd and azul are so disturbed at jade just opening his mouth like that in public.

☆ - trey has a horrible sense of humor. jade also has a horrible sense of humor and will laugh at any of his godawful jokes or puns. (have you seen the shrimp flied rice comic)

♡ - as for how they got together, trey would probably confide in cater about his crush (and he is Absolutely eating this up btw it's so funny to him) and he's like "oh dw trey-kun, i'll be your wingman kk??" and trey is like "oh my god no.." but it's too late.

☆ - with cater on the case, he is like. coaching him on what to say and what to do. "sit with him at lunch, compliment him, get to know him better, walk him back to his dorm, Ask Him Out OMG WHAT'S TAKING SO LONG..." and trey somehow fails at all of these things but this is amusing to jade. "your eyes are like... um. leucoprinus birnbaumii and. tilled soil?" "aw, are you flirting with me?"

♡ - azul also gets wind of this information also and is like "i can tell you any amount of information on jade's interests right now if you become the dessert chef for the mostro lounge exclusively- sign here." trey said no, but azul is still pushing. so now trey has like the shoulder angel and devil thing going on with azul and cater... but they're both devils.

♡ - in the meantime, they're Not Dating, but jade keeps asking trey to spend time with him. "i was just about to check on the mushrooms i've been growing, would you like to accompany me?" "if you aren't busy this weekend, i was wondering if you could join me on my next hike. it's just so lonely on the mountains by myself... camping would be so much more fun with friends..." trey says yes because his internal monologue is like "how could i possibly say no..." (riddle is shaking his head defeatedly, like, "just come back alive").

☆ - trey is about to just Give Up at the end of his third year, since they won't be on the same campus or anything anymore, but suddenly jade is like "can we exchange contact information, i think i'll miss you the most.." and so they do that. And are Not Dating Still.

♡ - during his off-campus year, trey studies dentistry and also spends a lot of time messaging jade and when they're both free they arrange meet-ups. cater is still trying to wingman over the phone and trey is like "no, we're still just talking..." and At The Same Time floyd keeps asking jade when he's gonna break up with that guy and jade is like "oh, but we haven't even started dating yet."

☆ - after trey is done with his studies at NRC, he decides to spend a year back at home with his family. as luck would have it, jade is spending his 4th year in the queendom of roses to study mycology (and a little bit of anthropology also, but mostly the mushrooms, molds, and yeast interests him). and he reasons "what better place to study yeast than a bakery!" trey feels absolutely insane when he asks his parents to let jade stay with them for a year. but they say yes because they as just so nice ("as long as he helps in the bakery" was also a condition).

♡ - they were not expecting a merman though and are quite shocked by the very tall eel with razors for teeth politely introducing himself one day. trey's siblings like him though! they ask him all about the ocean and his studies and nrc and even just about what trey was like at school (trey keeps shutting this specific topic down). jade helps with cooking and cleaning around the house and mr. and mrs. clover both appreciate him for it.

☆ - at some point, the two stay up really late together (they're both studying) and trey just finally blurts out that he likes him. jade just goes "i know." with a smile and asks him out. trey is shocked because he had waited Forever to ask it but its too late now. he laughs it off and says yes. they kiss (followed by jade quipping that it was not customary to kiss on the first date, to which trey responds that is was Hardly their first date and jade goes "touché")

♡ - you would think i would end this here because you asked about how they got together but i can't because i havs not gotten to the part where trey 1) actually comes out to his parents and 2) tells them that he's going out with jade

☆ - but anyways, yes, he comes out to his parents and they accept him for who he is. his mom also mentions that she assumed that he and jade were Already dating and he just wasn't ready to tell them yet. trey vehemently denies this and jade is just laughing. trey also texts cater and cater replies saying "tell jade i said i'm so happy for him and his ugly fking bf i'm serious /ref <3333" he also tells riddle who Actually says something positive. jade tells floyd and azul, who reply "can you divorce him yet" and "congrats! is he willing to work for me now" respectively (they really all are happy for them btw)

♡ - they do go on dates mostly outside on walks or hikes when they have time to spare. trey talks about the history of the area and jade identifies different organisms and infodumps about them as trey listens intently. if they see the same thing again, jade will say its name and trey will recall something jade said about it before, which makes jade happy.

☆ - neither is big on pda (unless they get jealous, which is infrequent), but they will hold hands when they're alone. they both tend to go more with acts of service and just quality time with one another, so generally they will do things like cook for the other or engage in activities that the other likes.

♡ - they do visit the coral sea, but it's more of an annual trip. usually, if jade wants to see azul or floyd, it's on land because azul's franchise is on land.

☆ - unfortunately i could continue for forever but i will not yw <333

[frozenhi-chews]

3 9 11! Gotta go with Starlo you guys are literally soulmates ^_^ @ghost--girlfriend

Freakin. Soulmates- I'm gonna die. aAUGH THATS SO CUTE, THANK YOU ;A;

Ask game here

3. Do you prefer to hang out outside or inside? Do you have the same preference, or is it different?

Outside, outside, OUTSIDE!!! OOO OUTSIDE!! There are moments of being inside and cooling off. But c'mon, we're both out in a desert, where it's dry but warm, and there's so many things to do!! HEAVENS TO BESTY WE ARE OUTSIDE DOING COWBOY THINGS YEEEHAW!!!

11. How much fun would your f/o have at a karaoke night out of 10?

Freaking 10/10, it would go higher if it could. Starlo performs at the saloon, or singing along to whoever's singing (if they allow it). He canonically has a good singing voice, and the saloon is basically like karaoke in some cases. The man just likes to sing!!

9. Do you have any AUs for your selfship? Tell me about them!!

HOOUGH saved this for last because I DO have AUs. And I might need a read more so let's see-

1. Ghost Run AU - this one is after a neutral run with Clover, where they killed Starlo (and a couple other monsters) and everyone thinks he's missing, he ran away. It had been a couple years so people aren't sure at that point if he did. Surely he'd be seen SOMEWHERE, right? Well, no. And that's where Pancake comes in. Moving into the Wild East and then getting visited by Starlo, who wants his parents to know that he's dead, and that they should move on. And Pancake, being the necromancer she is, decided to find ways to bring him back to life if he wanted. There's not a whole lot rn, but that's the general jist.

2. Pancake knows Chujin - This one is when Pancake fell before Clover, back when Chujin was alive. It's just fun to think about what could happen once a half human falls down and not just makes friends with monsters, but ends up dating one too. All with Chujin there. They have a sort of frienemy dynamic, mostly one-sided on Chujin's part. But this AU also means Pancake knew Kanako and knew when she fell. Was horrible to watch Ceroba lose her whole family.

3. Flawed Pacifist - this one is more of a thought process of what would happen if Pancake fell after Clover did a Flawed Pacifist run. How that would affect her and Starlo's relationship. Honestly, this would be such a slow burn, or they wouldn't end up as lovers at all. Because Starlo doesn't trust humans at all anymore, but Pancake is half human and has similar plights. It's all a complex thing happening. I can see them being friends, kinda kept at claws-length, or Starlo would eventually find a comfort and solace in her, but it's so fragile that neither are willing to risk saying anything. Yet.

There are concepts for other AUs but I haven't fully fleshed them out beyond concepts. But hey this was fun!!

[sunnyie-eve]

5 | Chillin

Series: No Prince Charming

Paring: Harry Hook x Original female character Princess!

Word Count: 1.6k

Warnings: none

| MASTERLIST |

"I can hardly wait to see what your wedding will look like." Lonnie tells Mal as Bella walks up to them.

"Me too. Wait, what?" Mal asks confused and scared.

"The Royal Cotillion is like getting engaged to be engaged to be engaged." Jane explains to her.

"I knew it." Evie gets happy.

"Everyone knows it." Lonnie smiles.

"I didn't know it. How come nobody told me that?" Mal asks.

"I mean technically that's true but it's up to you when the question is popped. Not always does it happen." Bella tells her as Ben shows up.

"Hi, Mal."

"Hi, Ben." The girls sing.

"Really, guys." Bella walks away going to class.

"Bella!" Mal rushes after her. "I'm freaking out here with this news."

"Mal, you don't need to worry. If you just tell Ben how you actually feel about everything... Including how you use spells to be better on your tour, he will completely understand. He loves you for you not some princess you're trying to be for everyone to see." Bella stops to face her. "I can see how much pressure you feel on your shoulders being someone you're not. Mal, your hair to fit the picture more... I hate it. I miss your purple hair. Just tell him how you feel."

"It's not that easy, Bella." Mal sighs.

"Yes, it is. It's Ben and I know my brother. He will understand if you're honest with him."

"Have you been honest with your parents yet?" Mal changes the subject. "They're trying to hook you up with every Prince there is. Aren't you tired of all the random dates you have to go on? Do you even want to go to the Royal Cotillion with Louis?"

"Naveen and Tiana and my parents think it's best if he was my date." Bella rolls her eyes.

"Maybe tell them that's not what you want. Because it's obvious you don't like him like that." Mal walks off.

Bella makes her way to her parents and her mother was getting her dress fixed, "Hello, dear." She smiles.

"I don't want to go to the Royal Cotillion with Louis. And I don't want to go on stupid dates with Princes. I thought you of all people would understand I don't want what's planned for me. You didn't want that before meeting dad, so why do that to me?" I ask her so the guy fixing her dress leaves the room.

"I was just an an ordinary girl then but because of us you are the Princess of Auradon. That's what's different." She explains.

"I don't want to be just that! And I don't want to be put with guys I don't have feelings for. You didn't want to marry Gaston, but you want me to marry someone I don't want in the future?" Bella huffs before leaving the room going to hers.

In her room she goes over to her closet taking out an outfit Evie made her just for fun a few months ago. "How about we take a little field trip, Bella." She smiles to herself getting dressed and does her hair differently.

After stealing one of the remotes to get to the Isle, she head off not letting anyone know where she was going just left a note saying she'll be out.

Walking around no one really takes notice of who she was which was very helpful. Seeing how the Isle was, Bella felt bad for everyone who was stuck here. The difference between here and back home was sad and super unfair.

Turing a corner she bumps into a guy, "You look familiar. Have I seen you around?" He eyes her.

"Mostly likely, I mean this island is small." She crosses her arms.

"I'm Gil, son of Gaston if you haven't heard." He introduces himself to her.

"Son of Gaston?" She laughs, "I can kinda see that now. I'm Bebe. Parents, not important." She says so it wasn't obvious if she says Bella. "How's your dad?"

"Okay, still annoyed Belle didn't pick him." He tells her.

"I bet." She laughs, "You seem the complete opposite of your father. More happy and positive."

"Yeah, my older brothers are more like him." He nods his head.

"Huh, well I got to go." Bella tells him.

"Nice meeting you Bebe." He waves as she walks off.

As she walks down another ally she runs into another figure, "You should watch where you're going, fork it up, lady." He puts his hand out so she looks at it.

"Fork what up? Money? Yeah, right." She tries to walk past him but he blocks her way.

"Who do you think you are?" He chuckles so she looks up at him making him smile, "Princess Isabella."

"Wow, you're the first person to recognize me. And it's just Bella. And taking in the hook you clearly don't need you're Hooks son." She eyes him and god was her gorgeous.

"Harry Hook. And what would the Princess of Auradon be doing here all alone?" He walks around her.

"Here on a little field trip..." She looks at him as he steps in front of her, "That's all you need to know." She smiles.

"You have some attitude Princess." He uses his hook to mess with her hair so she grabs his wrist snatching the hook out of his hand.

"I wouldn't if I were you. You don't know me, Harry." She keeps the hook away from him.

"Maybe I would like to, Izzy." He leans closer to her so she uses the hook to snatch the hat off his head.

"Huh, much better without the hat." She takes him in more. "Now, I'm going to walk off without forking it up because I don't owe you anything." She smirks handing him his things back roughly before she walks past him.

"Goodbye Princess!" He watches her.

"Thanks Harry." She shows him the money she stole from him making him check his pockets.

"You are something, Bella." He says to himself smiling as he walks off.

As it got later still on the Isle, Bella sees Ben wondering around alone, "What the heck are you doing here?" She walks over to him.

"Bella?" He looks at her as the three show up.

"Bella?" They say her name confused to see her.

"What are you doing here?" Jay asks her.

"I've been here all day just chillin. Meet Gil, stole from Harry. What are you guys doing here?" She asks them.

"You stole from a Harry Hook?" Jay says surprised.

"Yeah, pretty easy while talking to him. He was the only person to recognize me all day."

"We're here because Mal is here. She ran away earlier." Evie tells her.

"Wow, I haven't seen her at all. And why did she run off? Did you have a fight about her using magic to fit in? I thought you would be easy in her? I told her you would understand." Bella goes off on her brother.

"I messed up."

"No kidding. And you need to fit in here." She tells him.

"Yeah, keep your hands in your pockets unless you're stealing." Jay tells him.

"You either slouch or strut." Carlos adds.

"And never ever smile." Evie adds.

"Okay, thanks..."

She cuts Ben off, "No. No thank you and drop the please too. Just... Chill." She tells him.

"Let me tell you something you can really trust. Everybody's got a wicked side. I know you think that you could never be like us. Watch and learn so you can get it right." Evie sings to him.

You need to drag your feet You need to nod your head You need to lean back Slip through the cracks You need to not care

"Uh, you need to not stare." Carlos tells him.

You need a whole lotta help

"You need to not be yourself." Evie adds while Jay steals his wallet. "You wanna be cool? Let me show you how. Need to break the rules. I can show you how. And once you catch this feeling."

Yeah, once you catch this feeling You'll be chillin', chillin', oh Chillin' like a villain (Chillin') Chillin' like (Hey) a villain (Chillin')

Bella catches onto the dance and joins them while Ben tries

Chillin' like a villain (Hey) Chillin' like, chillin' like (Hey) a villain

"You draw attention when you act like that. Let them teach you how to disappear. You look like you would lose a fight to an alley cat. You gotta be wrong to get it right 'round here." Bella joins in telling him.

You need to watch your back You need to creep around You need to slide real smooth Don't make a sound And if you want it, take it And if you can't take it, break it If you care about your health

"Seriously, you need to not be yourself." Bella sighs.

"You wanna be cool? Let me show you how. Need to break the rules. I can show you how. And once you catch this feeling." Evie tells him again.

Yeah, once you catch this feeling You'll be chillin', chillin', oh Chillin' like a villain (Chillin') Chillin' like (Hey) a villain (Chillin') Chillin' like

"I really wanna be bad a lot. And I'm giving it my best shot: But it's hard being what I'm not." Ben tells them.

"Well, if you don't, you're gonna get us caught." Carlos tells him.

"He's right, we gotta stay low-key. Now show us how bad you can be." Evie says so Ben shows the stuff he took from them.

Like this? (Yeah, yeah, yeah) Like this? (Yeah, yeah)

"Oh yeah, I think I got this. Let's go, I'm ready to rock this. And I ain't gonna thank you for your help. I think I found the worst in myself."

You wanna be cool? Let me show you how Need to break the rules I can show you how And once you catch this feeling Yeah, once you catch this feeling You'll be chillin', chillin', oh Chillin' like a villain (Chillin') Chillin' like (Hey) a villain (Chillin') Chillin' like a villain (Chillin') Chillin' like a villain (Chillin') (Hey) Chillin' like a villain

[heleizition]

DAMN not me being like whos cody and the plot post being like GODS FUCKING CLONE CHILD. tell me everything we love an apocalypse harbinger. also CAIN MY BOI poor baby needs that therapy. also the whole 'and god thought mh well i liked that lets try again'? chefs kiss. I Wish To Know The Past Lives by you categorised as kinda boring THING pls. does cain get a bestie? someone give this man a bigger support and luv system. also vik is a BABY? a former child. A BABY!! also W HA T is that fuckery with jasper tell me absolutely everything please

SHES MY FAVORITE WEIRDO GIRL I LOVE HER SO MUCH SHES HOLY AND BRINGS A RELIGIOUS FLAVOR OF TERROR THAT I. CARE ABOUT <===== guy who was not raised religious at all idk why im so into it

so in the plot post i mentionned there's a memory thing. everyone remembers bits here and there of their past life, and usually demons mostly remembers bad things they did bc thats how u manipulate people into doing more things that are . not good. cody and jasper are the only ones with no memories of past life bc they were created in this realm, and had no past life. she has no idea she's god's soldier, They sent her down there mostly for Their own entertainement and everything she does is her own choice and will, even if god can "feel it" (which is why . they end up sending the whole lil family back on earth . for a chance to be happy. bc they feel cody's happiness.)

for the rest :

past lives ! um ill put lil warnings before. each lives.

Nell & Belly : tw for child abuse, sexual abuse and exploitation, adults not helping like they should lol

Nell and Belly (btw their full names are Nathanel and Anabelle) are born twins, nell just a few minutes before his sister. their mother died at birth which sent their father (an already not . good guy) into deep constant rage and pain . once they grow up a bit . i mean like. 7 or so. theres sexual abuse happening . and beatings. selling out his kids for a night for money. nothing fun. nell and belly get through it together until at like 16 nell (who's like, underfed, short, no muscles) snaps and stabs their dad over and over again .

nell only remembers this, killing his dad, with absolutely no context behind (protecting himself, protecting his sister, freeing them) so he thinks he used to be a Bad person. after that they get placed in the system, ig theres a trial but its ruled as legitime defense, and once they're 18 belly just. vanishes. they both deal very differently with what their whole life was, nell cant go on, can barely support himself, thinks he should have died right then, and belly flees from nell to find . somewhere where she can forget. she regrets it but nell dies before she can reconnect (not sure how, his death isn't rly whats important here,,, im thinking . so numb he can't rly recognize whats around him . walk in front of a car. yeah). belly struggles to have a happy life after that and ... im not sure how she dies yet. im thinking drowning bc its a thing that almost happens in the farm au....

as an angel, she doesnt remember much, because there wasn't much happiness in her life. also these two as twins have a bond that still connect them in angel/demon realm ! so they know the other exist and they remember once they meet !!

eden : tw for transphobia, drugs, suicide, abusive family ?

i'll go short w him bc it's not pleasant and it makes me sad <==== guy who MADE this backstory

eden is trans, always feels out of place as a kid, as a teen. his parents kick him out at eighteen bc they "can" and bc even if eden never said anything, they Know and don't want him in here. he has a friend who helps for a while, until the rumors spread about him being a ~ freak ~ and his friend is like. im sorry my parents cant let u impose in the house. anymore. : /// . eden is lost and desperate and doesn't know what to do, sells himself, gets into drugs to get through the days, finds out the days aren't worht getting through, kills himself. yay

he's one of the few who's always remembered his past fully,,,

LENA lena my BABYGIRL um tw for war mostly

this happens in a fictif medieval era lmao she's the princess of a kingdom, daughter of a kind king and queen, destined to rule, fighting among the army already, everyone loves her, except her small kingdom gets torn apart by another kingdom, not that much bigger, but with much greater military strength. the country gets torn apart before the army, the king and queen can do anything. the enemies arrive to the capital and lena doesn't even ask and joins the vanguard. she uses a sword at this point, get through enemies after enemies, and it looks like there's hope, until one of the enemy's captain reach her. it's a bit of a eowyn versus the nazgul vibe in lotr except lena doesn't win. she's slain, and slowly dies on hte battlefield with her beloved country burning, and the people she swore to protect screaming and dying.

she's very loved. i care her so much. she's my default when idk what to draw :3 she remembers being a loved princess, and slowly remember the last fight. it haunts her, the weight of losing this fight, that she couldn't do more, even if it's from a time long gone.

titania ummmm well theres grooming. witch hunt and betrayal.

i have to research the exact period titania's past happens, but its between late 1400 and early 1600s i think !

she loses her parents very young and thus, is cared for by the local church. there's a priest here who teaches her to use her looks and innocence as a way to get things, information, food, anything. once she's 13/14, he starts showing her the more physical way to do so.

she starts using sex as a way to learn things. she's the person who knows the most about anyone in the village. she's an important figure, one who's gifted things to keep silent, who gives her body in exchange for things to hang up against someone. she hates the priest who made her who she is . she couldn't have been something else, happier, lighter, but she's this, and she's too deep in to just stop.

she's too powerful, she knows too much, and when there's word in the village of a witch inhabiting it, they all turn to her. they have a way to get rid of her and the power she holds over them. she screams what she knows when she's brought to the center of the village, screams her hate of the priest who made her who she is, destroys everyone's nice little life because it cost hers. she dies burning, and everyone chooses to act like they never heard her in her final day.

she's the wise calm one who's actually full of anger and wrath. i love her a lot. there's this french song i love ("a witch like any other") which talks abt . women. women and men treating women like they're granted. and like. its a titania song. if u wanna give it a listen this version is amazing altho it's more powerful if u know french....

VIK UM OKAY not much tw here. it's just fucking sad. im a terrible oc parent. it's also heavily inspired by hell's girl season 3's protagonist past..................... it's basically that tbh SOEJFEFSJS

his mother and him are not allowed in the village. his mother is sick. he doesn't know it, he just follows his mother. she's kind and beautiful, gives him food and tells him stories. he's 4. they can't get in the village and he doesn't know why, so they find dry places in the woods to live. it's fun, it's everything he's ever known. one day his mother doesn't wake up, so he goes to try and find food by himself, to surprise her. when he's back, she's still not awake. she's stiff and cold, so he gives her his blanket and waits. days pass. he's hungry, he's thirsty, he's 5, he doesn't know anything, doesn't know how to go on, the usually places he finds bits of food are empty. it's colder and his mother hasn't moved since that day.

it's snowing. it's pretty. he wishes his mom could wake up and see it but he's starting to think that maybe she won't.

vik dies, age 5, in the forest, cold hungry and alone.

he doesn't remember anything, and his ignorance nd naivety makes him so much easier for noah to manipulate him. she doesn't mean to at first, she sees a child who could use some help, and she's always wanted a child. but they're at war, and sacrifices need to be made.

ABEL AND CAIN'S PAST ISNT CLEAR TO ME RN IM SORRYYYYY SOMETHING ABT ABEL BEIGN A RULER AND CAIN HIS SHADOW WHO KILLS FOR HIM YAGHHHHHH IDK MAN abel slowly remembering that he was a mercyless king who made his people suffer just like hte people he's trying to fight rn,,,,,,,,,,, honey

i don't have much planed for cain in tame of support rn im sowwy.................... i wanna work on it tho.......... i have a lot of secondary charactres that he could fit with...............

noah used to be a cool fearless pirate stealing rich people to give to the poor in her hometown mostly. finding strays and helping them. i love that for her . she was a good guy, a robin hood, and then her devotion to god fucked her up (aka hermit the frog by marina). she jst fights bc she thinks it will bring peace until she learns god was just Bored lol !!!!!!!!!!!!!

i don't think i forgot anyone ? if i did i am sorry (bows down to my kids)

jasper's thing......................... well. there's always been experiments. trying to find a being Higher. jasper was created in a lab. then he and another kid, angel this time, were fused. the scar is most likely due to this . for the longest time jasper just thought he had a strong inner voice but it's this other kid (no name yet sowwy!!!!!!! im coming up with this on the spot actually which is why i like being asked abt them it makes me THINK). he's the only saved experiment from this. abel and cain had been sent to investigate on a demon who's part of the high council, but who some people thought was shady. he indeed was. they destroyed eveything (u don't toy with life) and found jasper. omg . they both kind of raised him . ohhhhhhhhhhhhh OHHHHHHH

anyway later in the story, belly and him are fighting opponent, belly is cool and strong but she almost dies and well . those two are in love and it makes jasper's inner angel wake up along with some new powers. not sure exactly what!!!! im thinking !!!! ok i gotta go grocery show now BE BACK SOON BC I SEE MORE THINGS IN MY INBOX

[pluralwives]

The Failures of Plural Representation

Tw: mental health, abuse, torture, plural vilification, neurotypical shit.

My dad... (I don't want to say 'made me') invited me to watch The Lord of the Rings from a very young age. You know, like any good gen X parent would. And of course I fell in love with it! I was raised a nerd after all.

My favorite scene ofc has to be the part when Eowyn goes all Mulan and bitch slaps the Witch King to death saying "I am no man. I'm a woman!".

For a long time these movies became the gold standard for what good story telling looked liked. It sparked my passion for storytelling, cinema and writing.

Recently I've been rewatching the trilogy, the extended versions on HBO. And I hadn't watched them in so long, they felt like new and yet... they felt like home.

There aren't many things that have made me feel like home ever since I left my body...

But tonight I finished watching the two towers.

Began with a vat full of mousse cake and my wife by my side!

Finished sad... with a bad taste in my mouth that won't leave.

(No, it wasn't the mousse. My Alesha could never make anything that wasn't perfect)

And it's funny. Bc I remember that on the original cut that my dad and I rented from a Block Buster, the story of Smeagol seemed so sad to me.

But what I just saw was far from sad, it was cruel!

And not like some dramatic tragedy or anything like that!

It was a joke!

Smeagol was a joke!

His pain was just some passing slapstick! Sauron tortures him! The humans too! Sam harrasses him! And Frodo betrays him!

"You have shown your quality, sir. The very highest."

"You left out one of the chief characters: Sawise the Brave."

"There's some good in this world, Mr. Frodo. And it's worth fighting for."

Oh! Why don't you go fuck a po-tay-toe, Sam! You bastard half-ling!

Faramir gets the girl!

Sam gets revindicated for misstrusting Smeagol!

And Frodo goes to the eternal shores or some shit!

And Gollum?

To the flames where he fucking belongs, the freak!

"But he was too far gone! The ring had taken control over him! He couldn't be trusted!"

👆

(Windows 10 seeks to censor me)

Yes, obviously. He is a flawed character. Just like almost everyone in the movies.

But you just don't see Boromir getting the same treatment. No, he gets the bitter-sweet flashback with his brother.

And Smeagol proves to get better and get rid of his toxic counterpart and be happy again! (100 times the strength any soldier has ever had in my experience) But still... No.

He's still just a freak.

The creature Gollum.

But alright. So J. R. R. Tolkien sucks at mental health representation. I don't think that's such a hot take if I know the internet.

But here's the catch:

It is worth remembering.

Cuz history has a funny way of tripping you over and kicking you in the gut for the bad memory of others.

(Split 2016)

A bad movie? Yes! But a popular movie? Also yes!

And that's why I'm currently mad enough to write a Tumblr blog at 4 in the morning. Bc popular media seems to mostly just show pural folks as monsters and not people you can empathize with!

And that's fucking scary bc, guess what?

We don't want to be treated like fucking monsters!

Big surprise there!

...

It's just... I sometimes forget how scary it can be.

To think that you can't be who you are in public because people will look at you... and see nothing less than a creature.

I didn't choose to be this way, and yet I'm trying to love myself for what I am...

And then you look at me and... What? Do I matter so little? Do you see me as lesser? ... Am I not even a person? ... Is it even a crime to harm me?

Fuck...

...

It's not all bad news though.

Maybe as part of the recent trend towards mental health acceptance, or maybe just bc of some rando guardian angel writer. or just for the f'ing lols, we're starting to see for the first time the representation of characters with multiple personalities that is not only accurate and sensible, but also effective and heartfelt from a storytelling pov.

I didn't finish Moon Knight, but for what I saw it gives me great hope that this will become the standard for talking abt multiple personalities on popular media from now on... bc that would honestly get rid of so much my daily stress.

...

I just want a family at the end of the day.

I want a stable job, I want my own small business, I want a house for my wife, and I want a child that feels free to become whatever the want to, and need to be. And I want heroes they can look up to.

Bc I'm running out of mine...

I'm really sad I have to leave this part of my childhood behind.

I could start trying to split hairs and defend the movie as something far away from Tolkien's nastyness... but something tells me that it's just not gonna be the same ever again.

I'm not gonna stop my rewatch or ban TLOTR from my home. They're still cool movies. It's just that the same enjoyment is no longer there. And I just don't feel like indoctrinating my family to these movies just like I was, even if some of their lessons are important.

For that I have Moon Girl and Devi Dinosaur!

–Tal

[miniwolfsbane]

I need to stay awake, so here's a list of things we should have gotten in The Sims 4's Growing together that would have improved it even more! (Also pleading in some spots. If they could just refresh it slightly, that would be boss.):

An easier (even customizable) compatibility system. (I loved the idea, but trying to get one of my sims to have mutual dislike with his future-son-in law is like trying to find chicken lips. I even changed his traits, but it didn't help. Unless my game was glitched, IDK. I haven't looked at that save file in months.)

Gender reveal parties (Because let's bring the chaos of those into sims. Fits perfectly!

New careers would've been fire. (Something similar to an OBGYN, if EA is so scared of scarring special snowflakes and supposed children playing this freaking game (GIVE US BURGLARS BACK YOU COWARDS!!), call it a baby doctor and give us real ultrasounds already. I mostly play on console, so mods aren't an option.

LESS infant milestones. (I understand that they were clearly going for realism and longform play, but I think I got my favorite (and only) mermaid twins to do nearly all of the applicable ones (with my game glitching slightly because it didn't register the first trip to the park) before turning them into toddlers. But if you have your sims on non-aging, it can get tedious. I had to cheat needs to do all that, keeping them awake constantly and they still got the tired moodlet as infants. They should have cut them back by 10 or 12 and not gone so hard on this. We love our realism as players, but sometimes enough is enough. Also the standing up milestone is broken on console. Ugh.)

This or HSY would have been the perfect EP to put driving lessons. Even if we don't have cars yet...well...was gonna say it wouldn't make sense, but it could have just been a rabbit hole to driver's ed or driving school. (Just writing those words gives me PTSD. I had a hard time of things.)

They could have really expanded on stuff for kids. The toy options are endless. Hula hoops, new teddy bears that are actually useable, dolls (knock off Barbie maybe?), new action figures for boys (and girls), more toddler specific toys, And we got bikes? BIKES?! I know 4 Rent was awful for bugs, but at least they gave us marbles and hopscotch. Better than nothing. Glad modders exist, but that doesn't help people who play exclusively on console because of disabilities or other reasons.

Maybe pregnancy specific clothes, I dunno. Seems pointless, but also sounds cute.

Bring back the dang pregnancy cravings (unless I imagined these?), and add in some mood swings. Teenagers get mood swings, but pregnant women don't? Yeah, nice going EA. *Sarcastic clap*

On that note, as long as it's from my head, we could have used some more realism, if just slightly. (Keep in mind I've never been preggers and haven't had anyone close to me be pregnant, just parent's friends or people older than me at the time. Edit and family members out-of-state many years ago.) Sore boob moodlets, milk pumps, swollen feet, real back aches and not just stretching, baby books (I miss those!!), maybe some stuff for the dads to be but I can't think of anything off had atm but books? Maybe some "I want to teach my kid about repair skills" want or moodlet when they hit the child stage, pacifiers (the CC ones are so cute!), teething if we didn't get it already I can't remember, teething toys, being able to put infants/toddlers on beds (mixed bag because in real life you shouldn't have babies in bed with you because it's dangerous. Saw a story about it.), more stuff for grandparents, plus the canes from TS3 and so on.

Okay, I might edit this later. Starting to feel tapped out for ideas

[kaderp]

ALRIGHT FUCKERS THIS IS GONNA BE A HELLA LONG MEGAPOST AS I WAS GIVEN THE OK

BASICALLY this is gonna be a collection of bullshit me and @blackfliesinbluesugar have come up with and drawn

It starts with Goldie still living in Ireland at 17-19 and Scrooge from ages 18-20 staying in Scotland. And long story short they're dumbasses as teens. Cliche forbidden romance type stuff. Goldie's dad has shot people in the foot for trying to mess around with Goldie or just even talk to her for too long. So the only logical explanation they have is make Scrooge hide in the barn when he visits.

Basically Scrooge chills in the barn for a while cause Goldie's the only one that ever really goes in there because she's in charge of all the chores there. Which is where the context of this post is from

After the first time they fooled around Goldie was like 'oh crap what if I got pregnant D:' and told her mom she's going through a phase of flowey/big dresses when in reality she's trying to hide a potential baby bump. Now her mom doesn't care because she's too caught up in the fact that Goldie is finally 'acting like a lady.'

So eventually because they never put together that 'hey, if we keeping doing this we're gonna end up with a baby', Goldie does end up pregnant. And because her dad is a dick and a 'I catch you with my daughter then you die' type of shotgun dad, Goldie is freaking tf out.

About a month after she finds out she's pregnant, the O'Gilt's (well mostly just Goldie and her mom lol) get invited to a fancy dinner and Scrooge is really wanting to see Goldie again. So what better way to see her than to travel to Ireland, steal a uniform, and sneak into said dinner party as a busboy. Problem is he can't risk Goldie's dad seeing him again so he tries to slick back his whiskers

But while Scrooge is running around, he eventually spots Goldie across the room. Now he's never seen her in anything fancy, usually just the flannel and green work skirt. And he just about dies 😭

By now she has a bit of a baby bump she's had to hide so she normally goes for high waisted dresses that immediately flow out.

Anyways, as Scrooge is putting on the uniform he realizes he has absolutely no idea how to actually be a busboy. He doesn't know the first thing about dining and stuff so he's just like AAAAAAA

As they both see each other, Scrooge gives a dorky grin and Goldie smiles before realizing he snuck in. Right when Scrooge goes to see her he gets dumped with a bunch of dishes he has to set. Goldie sees him struggling to figure out how to set a table and he just gives her a nervous grin while she's like 'oh you beautiful dumbass -_-'

She's turning red cause she's trying so hard not to burst out in laughter as Scrooge slips and a bunch of silverware falls on him

He's getting yelled at by the director but he's just giving Goldie a goofy grin from across the room.

Her parents: remember to be calm and not make a scene no matter wh-

Goldie watching Scrooge trip on the tablecloth: BWAHAHA

But as the dinner progresses, Goldie remembers Scrooge doesn't even know she's pregnant. So she keeps trying to tell him but they both constantly get pulled away to do other things.

Towards the end of dinner Scrooge gets a free moment and realizes then that 'holy shit I actually like really love her!' So he darts to wherever she is and is struggling to get it out cause he doesn't know how much time he has left. He eventually spits it out and tells Goldie he loves her and is immediately called away. Scrooge takes her hands and quickly kisses her cheek before running to wherever the director is calling him from.

Goldie is shocked and stays still for a moment but by the time the shock wears off she realizes Scrooge is already long gone and they don't see each other again. And now Goldie's like 'crap crap crap, he said he loves me and I didn't even tell him I'm pregnant.'

They aren't able to communicate for a while cause Goldie's so focused on trying to keep her family pleased while still hiding her baby bump, and Scrooge keeps getting sidetracked and forgetting to write. (You can't tell me that isn't something he'd do because he kept getting distracted in the life and times when coming back home). He has her address, and he has started a letter, and even his family knows about her. 3ish months pass of no communications until one night Goldie starts contractions.

She darts to the barn after the first contraction and realizes she has to do this alone. A letter takes a day to get to Scrooge and going to Scotland herself would take closer to 7 hours. At that point it would be safer to not move.

It's like 3am by the time she lays and the egg ends up being pretty small. The entire time Goldie was just getting sicker and sicker. She ends up too weak to even hide the egg and has a high fever. She seriously thinks she's not gonna make it for the first night she can barely stay conscious.

The next morning she has just enough strength to lazily hide the egg in the hay and sluggishly make her way back to the main house. Her parents are already up and she explains she started feeling iffy while doing chores and collapses.

Because her parents aren't completely heartless and she still is their daughter, her parents' main focus shifts to trying to nurse her back to health. They assume she fell with a bad flu and don't know she had spent all night laying an egg.

During this time she writes to Scrooge telling him to get over here asap, it's an emergency.

Goldie's parents take over her chores in the barn and the moment they said that Goldie went into panic mode again. During a lunch break she climbs through her window and runs to the barn to hide the egg better. She does, and she successfully makes it back to her room but collapses again and sleeps until the next day.

Scrooge arrives 3 days after she lays and now she's really panicking. She's still weak and sick, and her parents are coming closer and closer to finding the egg. Scrooge when he sees her is genuinely freaking out. Not only for the future and that he now has an egg, but because Goldie did it by herself in a dirty barn. She's still a little loopy even though it's been a few days and Scrooge just feels heart broken that he wasn't there to help. He starts going on a tangent about how she could have died but Goldie just kisses him to get him to stop blabbering.

Scrooge helps her clean up a bit cause even with her parents looking after her, she's still a mess. But as he's washing her and the egg up, they hear fighting from the main house. Her parents realized she wasn't in her bed. She starts crying and tells Scrooge he needs to run home asap because if her dad finds out he'll most definitely kill him and/or the baby.

(This was the first doodle for the au before deciding on an exact age/place/look so don't mind the sloppiness)

Scrooge escapes right as her dad comes in. She pulls the excuse of she thought she felt well enough to do chores.

Scrooge rn is running like a madman back to Scotland. He went from chilling with his family to being a father who's child needs to be kept secret within a day.

By the time Scrooge gets back home it's the middle of the night and is ngl feeling pretty overwhelmed. He tells Downy that he messed up and she's just like ??? So Scrooge holds up the egg and Downy just purses her lips like 'ah'

The next morning Scrooge explains to his family what happened and doesn't leave out any detail. Fergus and Downy obviously have mixed feelings. Scrooge is barely 19 yet he already has a kid??? But in the end they realize they can't change what's happened and focus on helping Scrooge protect this child.

Once the baby hatched, all mixed feelings from Downy erased and she just went into 'this is my grandbaby and no one will touch her' mood.

Scrooge and Goldie kept in contact from the moment Goldie gave away the egg. Because of the little incident of Goldie 'trying to do chores while sick,' she was put under close monitoring for the next few months and couldn't visit each other. After constant writing back and forth, they find a date to meet up half way between Scotland and Ireland so Goldie can meet her baby. They try to decide on baby names through the letter but they can't agree on anything. Goldie finds out that Scrooge moved out of his small Glasgow home and into McDuck Castle. He gives her the new location on the map as well.

The first time Scrooge tries to sneak out with the baby Fergus is just standing right outside with his brow arched and Scrooge starts freaking out.

Before Scrooge can apologize for trying to sneak out, Fergus just asks if Scrooge would like him to go with.

Scrooge is a little shocked but can't talk with the frog in his throat and just nods. Along the way Scrooge explains how he and Goldie have been trying to find the right time to sneak out for weeks because it was so hard for Goldie to get free time. She was sent to go across country to get supplies and uses that opportunity to go meet up with Scrooge and the baby again.

Fergus just nods and continues.

When they do see Goldie, she almost breaks down at the sight that the baby survived and is being raised in a good house hold and can't stop holding her. The baby is about 3 months old by now. They finally agreed on a name and she ended up being named Maryanne. (Yes Jelly and I chose that because it means Star of the Sea)

She has to give the baby back to Scrooge cause stupid teenage and still getting over pregnancy hormones are getting the better of her and she starts full on sobbing as she sits on the ground. Scrooge freezes cause he's like aaaaaa what do I dooooo while still holding the baby.

But Fergus crouches down to her and asks if she wants a hug. All Goldie can say is 'uh huh' and he just wraps himself around her. She hugs back and Fergus rocks back and forth until Goldie's calmed down.

'I'm sorry I pulled your son into the mess. I-I was just so scared that my papa w-would kill one of us that I didn't know what else to do.'

Fergus pulls her away so he can actually look at her. And part of him feels that tinge of fear and sadness that the two teens had experienced. He grabs onto her shoulders which causes Goldie to look up at him.

'While I dinnae agree what you two did was right. Ah'm proud of you. Because what you did, finding the will to give up a child for their own safety, took a lotta strength there, lass.' And before she can react, Fergus pulls her in again and let's it sink in.

Scrooge is still holding the baby but now he's sitting down and bouncing the cooing baby on his knee while watching the scene unfold.

Over the course of the next few months, Goldie visits as much as possible and she grows closer to the family and Scrooge every time. On the times she can't visit, Fergus accompanies Scrooge in order to protect them from Goldie's dad. She's had a few close calls with her dad, but nothing too serious

After those events, Goldie practically moves in with the McDucks and they work on raising Maryanne. However like in the Rosa series, they're still experiencing tax trouble and Scrooge says he's gonna have to go to South Africa. The baby is about 2 by now and Scrooge is almost 21, while Goldie is about 19 and a half.

(This next section was an accident but basically it started as jotting down ideas but turned into a fic after I said it would take 20 seconds to write but turned into 2 hours fjdbfndn)

Scrooge is torn between whether or not to go until Goldie says she'll go with him. And because she's stubborn, no one objects. So the three travel across the world together. Maryanne practically grows up on the sea and all of those adventures where Goldie is present in the DT17 Rewriting History book happen.

On adventures they trade off tying the baby to their backs until she's old enough to not need to anymore. Although for the more dangerous ones, one of them stays behind.

But because they weren't married and had a kid in their teens, they were generally looked down upon. It got to the point where they just started saying they were married in order to avoid conflict with others. And after a while they actually forgot they weren't in fact married

'Huh, I forgot we're not actually married.' 'WAIT WE'RE NOT???'

Or

'We're married' 'Oh ok, can i see your marriage records?' '... oh right'

But some old lady or old guy either way starts criticizing Goldie for being a young mother and they just deck the shit outta them and run. Or Goldie fighting someone with baby tied to her back.

Maryanne grows up to be an ocean cartographer and leads sailing expeditions and that's all we have for her. Also she has super blue eyes lol

That's basically almost all of the things we have for this au lol

[anhed-nia]

BLOGTOBER 10/4/2020: SOCIETY

Without having a survey to back me up, I feel comfortable asserting that as a horror fan, you go through different phases with SOCIETY. It’s a basic fact of life, and yet it morphs and mutates underneath you, shocking you anew just when you think you’ve got a grip on it. You never forget your first time, because there is simply nothing like it. Then, after you get over the initial shock of its patented brand of body horror, you start to take it for granted; it's so broad and monolithic that it becomes something like the Grand Canyon--when it’s not right there in front of you, you begin to experience it more iconically, as part of the wallpaper of existence, rather than an in-your-face confrontation with the limits of experience. Then, you revisit it every few years (or months, depending on what sort of person you are), and the prophylactic layer that your brain has wrapped around your memories of it--the one that allows you to think of SOCIETY as a fun, wacky cheap thrill--begins to crumble, and you realize all over again how iconoclastically vile it is. Wherever you happen to be at, with this inimitable genre landmark, you'd be hard pressed to deny that it earns its royal status among horror movies, just for being so uniquely fucked up.

Filmmaker Brian Yuzna is best known as the co-creator of the indispensable RE-ANIMATOR (or as the co-writer of HONEY, I SHRUNK THE KIDS...depending on what sort of person you are, again), itself a milestone achievement in the blending of sex and gore that so characterized '80s horror production. That film clearly brought out the best in Yuzna and frequent collaborator Stuart Gordon (also of HONEY, I SHRUNK THE KIDS fame...among other things), but it's interesting to see how they operate apart, to understand the unique ingredients that each filmmaker brought to the more perfect union of their classic Lovecraft adaptation. Gordon skewed darker and more intellectual, as evidenced by the end of his career with the shattering mob thriller KING OF THE ANTS, the disturbing true crime drama STUCK, and the Mamet-penned EDMOND. Yuzna, for his part, is almost anti-intellectual, preferring to cook up blackly comic, semi-pornographic nightmares like his two increasingly horny RE-ANIMATOR sequels, the terminal S&M fantasy RETURN OF THE LIVING DEAD 3, and the shamelessly hokey comic book adaptation FAUST: LOVE OF THE DAMNED. Yuzna's lack of shame is really his defining feature as an artist, and nowhere is this more obvious than in his directorial debut and signature masterpiece, SOCIETY.

Salvador Dali's "The Great Masturbator," a chief visual inspiration for SOCIETY.

Yuzna was able to leverage the success of RE-ANIMATOR to lock in two directorial opportunities, BRIDE OF RE-ANIMATOR, and a bizarre body horror exercise about a Beverly Hills orphan who discovers that not only are his adoptive family from a different bloodline, but they're not even from the same species. That both pictures employed the writing team of Woody Keith and Rick Fry gives you a little taste of what to expect from SOCIETY, but to be frank, the latter threatens to make the former look like a very special episode of ER; "overkill" barely begins to describe SOCIETY’s ambitious assault on the human body. In a recent interview, the philipino-american director giggles perversely, "I think my friends were a little embarrassed for me (when they saw SOCIETY)," and this sound bite reminded me that the last, most important ingredient that Yuzna contributes to any project is unabashed joy. It's a little hard to imagine stomaching SOCIETY without it.

In this unusual scene from the class struggle in Beverly Hills, Billy Warlock (son of HALLOWEEN 2's Michael Myers, Dick Warlock) plays Bill Whitney, a rich, handsome, athletic high school student with a heavy duty anxiety disorder. Although he appears to have it all, he is plagued by nightmares and hallucinations, reflecting suspicions that the family that spoils him is also out to get him. Perhaps this is all understandable, though. Bill is under a lot of pressure these days, with his parents devoting all of their attention to his sister's coming out party, and his narcissistic girlfriend pushing him to ingratiate himself to the assholes higher up the social ladder; it's enough to make any teenager feel alienated and insecure. But, do these garden variety anxieties account for his visions of his sister's body deforming itself unnaturally, or the dubious evidence he finds that her debutante ball involves incestuous orgies and human sacrifice? Is Bill simply crumbling under the strain of societal expectations, or is the friction with his shrink, his parents, and his peers all symptomatic of an elaborate plot against him by elites who are truly less than human?

I can’t believe they use this cheapo blanket trick MORE THAN ONCE in a movie that is famous for its unforgettable special effects, and I guess I kind of love it.

In case I haven't made the answer abundantly obvious, I'll add that while SOCIETY is the purest expression of Yuzna-ness on the market, it has an important co-author in Screaming Mad George. The eccentric japanese FX master, whose name is apparently an amalgamation of Mad Magazine, Screamin' Jay Hawkins, and...George, has produced some of horror's most outrageous makeup and visual effects, mostly for Yuzna, many of them in SOCIETY. If you've seen even a trailer for Alex Winter's 1993 oddity FREAKED--which is itself a grossout criticism of American social standards--then you are already familiar with SMG's trademark style. He specializes in twisted perversions of the human form that would make a cenobite blush, driven by a penchant for puns, and influenced equally by THE THING's Rob Botin, and Big Daddy Roth’s Rat Fink style. Screaming Mad George is instrumental in articulating Yuzna's premise: that behind the shimmering veneer of success and sophistication, the upper class are just a bunch of degenerates, who literally degenerate into something unimaginable behind closed doors. It's impossible to imagine SOCIETY without his sinuous, slithering monstrosities, or his indescribable realization of their most important social event, "the shunt".

One of many great images from a zine I wish I owned, on SMG’s Facebook page.

It's easy to get overwhelmed by SOCIETY's visual impact, but its message is just as potent now as it was at the end of the Reagan era: Rich people are not only different from the rest of us, but in fact, they aren't even human. Writers Keith and Fry make an interesting choice of hero to help put this across. A lazier writer would have selected any archetype from the Freaks and Geeks set to create an easy Us vs Them tension, but SOCIETY is led by a promising young man who, for reasons he himself does not yet understand, is just not "the right kind of people". Bill appears to have every advantage in life, including a level of popularity that wins him presidency of the debate team despite his nerdier rival’s superior prowess--and yet, he suffers from a stigmatizing psychiatric disorder that is the natural result of feeling indefinably different from one's peers, and intuiting that, as a consequence, they don't even really like you. The shallow jock with deep-seated emotional problems is a much more interesting protagonist for this kind of social allegory than the charismatic outcasts that you get in movies like THE FACULTY and DISTURBING BEHAVIOR, for whom the idea that the elites could be aliens is just de rigueur.

It's worth noting that this complexity of character extends to Bill's love interest, sympathetic society girl Clarissa Carlyn (Playboy Playmate Devin DeVasquez). At first, she seems villainously eager to introduce Bill to the many splendors of "the shunting", but as the plot against him mounts to its horrifying conclusion, she defects. There appears to be a reason for this, although honestly, this is the most difficult part of SOCIETY for me to wrap my head around. Clarissa lives as an essentially independent adult, only burdened by her mother (Pamela Matheson), a possibly brain damaged hulk who lurks in and out of various scenes just to be disturbing, always announced by some toots on a tuba, before eventually siding with our heroes. I'm really not sure what's supposed to be going on in this part of the movie, except that this character contributes to a number of distasteful jokes. But, I hold on to the idea that by virtue of whatever disorder Mrs. Carlyn suffers from, she serves the purpose of priming Clarissa to rebel, since her very existence makes her daughter something of a societal outcast herself. That's the best I can do.

In any case, everyone working on SOCIETY commits completely, with Mrs. Carlyn being no exception. The movie's climactic orgy of the damned is an all hands on deck operation, just as reliant on Screaming Mad George's artistic abilities as it is on the actors' responsibility to make you believe that this fucked up shit is really happening. There's a visceral patina of sleaze spread over the entire film, dripping from the way that characters talk to and touch each other, flirting and flaunting their bodies in a distinctly unseemly fashion, even when it stays within the realm of mundane reality. This constant sinister, insinuating attitude on the part of the whole cast lays the foundation for what is to come, and while I appreciate everybody's hard work, my favorite performance is from an actor who only comes in at the very end: David Wiley as society king Judge Carter. Wiley's career consisted almost exclusively of the most ordinary sort of television work, which makes his outrageous turn in this alien porno flick all the more respectable. While other characters transition from suspicious pod people to full-on mutated perverts, Judge Carter has to show up just for the finale, establish his authority, rip off his clothes, and plunge straight into a sea of slime, happily fisting his way through the cast. Wiley meets this challenge with aplomb, making of himself a hybrid of Robert Englund and Gene Hackman, perfectly embodying the movie's joyful absurdity, and never betraying the slightest hint of embarrassment. 

SOCIETY is very much a don't-look-down type of endeavor, a fairy that could expire at the slightest lapse in faith. There's a visual pun in the last act that's so gross, so offensive, so frankly idiotic, that I don't have the courage to describe it; my whole body tenses up when I know this scene is coming, as if it were the meat hook scene in TEXAS CHAIN SAW MASSACRE or the brutal rape in the middle of SHOWGIRLS. I don't like it, but at the same time, I respect Yuzna's unhesitating commitment to show it to me, and I think that actor Charles Lucia should get some kind of award for shouldering the burden so valiantly. SOCIETY is a daring movie in the truest sense, a film with more balls than brains, and in this it exposes the limitation of intelligence and taste, and the real need for pure transgression, in producing art of any real value. You might argue with me about whether Yuzna's masturbatory magnum opus really qualifies as art, but to respond to that, I'll quote the great transgressor Alejandro Jodorowsky: "If you are great, EL TOPO is a great picture. If you are limited, EL TOPO is limited." So stick that in your shunt and smoke it.

undefined

PS Here, have this stuck in your head for the rest of your life.

[corvixa]

I have this thing, that when an idea gets in my head, I either get it out on paper or it will create a traffic jam in my head and bugger up everything. So, not including my ongoing Fics, which includes the Gold Universe as part 4 is still nearly finished, I just need that last push on it. These are Ideas that can have anything from a few scenes, an idea, plots, or several chapters.

So I call this -

Winteriron WIP

(because what else 😅, I have a problem.)

In Fire & Flames - In this universe, Phoenixes and Humans live together, if one species dies then the other will too. When a Phoenix does for good, lots of natural disasters happen, starts with Tony'parents dying and then Rhodey, who is also a Phoenix, finds Tony. Who is now familyless and dying as lone phoenixes tend to die. There are several different kinds, and they come in pairs general. Golden and Ice, for example, Golden are high in magic, Ice tends to protect, especially the rare Golden, it's more tribes than individuals, there is no requirement for who likes who. It's surprising how much making a few other Avengers phoenixes tweaks things here and there, this actually goes up to the fight in Siberia and is one of the bigger WIP's. (26k)

Flash of Gold - Avengers are shifters or humans with magic, and they think they know what Tony is. They believe he is a human with magic, but they notice that he has some shifter traits, which is odd as shifters can't have magic in this AU. Only in very old stories and myth. Tony, however, is a dragon, which are myth. Instead of being like most shifters a, a human that shifts to something, he is the reverse. It only has a few scenes. Full shebang, team as Family. Steve is even a good guy. James is brought to the tower after being found and slowly integrated into the group and is wondering wtf Tony is. (13k)

The Operative Program - Howard was never meant to be a father; he was a weaponsmith. So he took the red room and the wolf spider programs and decided to create himself an Operative that he hoped would be the darker side to help Steve when he found him. Two sides of the same coin, one for the light and one to work in the shadows, Tony would be under Steve's control, he would be a weapon for the man who only picked up a shield. (Also assassin Tony is just fun.) Tony in this is a mash-up really, Tony traits, like Gold but different as he has been trained his entire life, the only reason he has developed a sense of self is Rhodey and the fact his parents died at 17. Rhodey got there first after the car crash, getting to Tony before anyone else who knew what he was could potentially claim him. Tony definitely collects people. Yinsen and Vanko for example. Chapters from Ironman up to Avengers (not complete). But enjoyed myself rewriting some out of sequence chapters, so there is a nice big scene in Siberia. (15k)

Another Persons Wish - Now this was based on a post I saw going around. Person A is married to Person B. Person A is looking back at their life and wondering if they should have married B, etc. So, A is offered a wish. Poof. Goodbye Marriage. Person A is Steve, and the story is from Tony, person B's POV. It goes from Tony planning his anniversary(because I was apparently extremely angsty when I started this!) to waking up in the past, alone and wondering what the fuck has happened. 6 chapters entirely written. Chapter 7 is in a different file and in progress when I dabble on it. (30k)

Tarnished Gold - This is an AU from my AU AU XD. Basically similar set up to the Gold Universe, Tony escapes Hydra Captivity but is brought in by Rhodey instead of spending 2 years on his own cleaning up Hydra. He only spends about 7 months before Rhodey convinces him to come in. Few other tweaks here and there but that is just side. Rhodey and James are pals too. The plot here is Howard and Maria are brought back from the Dead and Rhodey is trying to work out how to tell them what has happened and that he can't just bring them to Tony, because he doesn't know if Tony will remember them yet. Tony is a little less 'give me orders, and I'll gut you, and more 'orders made things easier'. I basically flipped his and James reactions from the original Gold universe. Tony is more in need of a hug. It's very loosely put together. I wanted something where Howard was a good dad to offset the fact I kind of made him Hydra in the next piece, and I wanted a good family man Howard with the bringing the parents back because I love reading fics that bring Howard and Maria back. (9k)

Sins of The Father - Arno has just buried his father. His mother is in a coma, he is 20 and mourning his life now he's expected to take on the business when a visitor flips his work upside down worse than the phone call about the crash. His Father? Part of a program that summoned a creature known as a Void Walker. (A creature from the Void Loki fell into, the only native species to that area, most others can't survive the void, so Loki will read as Void Touched and is 'To Be Protected' because I think that could shake up the Avengers section nicely.) Oh and he has Howards DNA. So Arno is freaked that he has a brother, that someone released and sent to him and Arno is 100% sure he is not meant to deal with severe traumatised half-human assassins that could be his kid brother. That is how Arno meets Tony and becomes very invested and turns up big brother protective instinct to 13. When summoned they're tired to a person and has to obey orders, that person was chosen as The Asset under the idea he can't disobey, which obviously fails as Winter does everything to protect Tony, including freeing him and sending him to Arno. His last order is that Tony is not allowed to go looking for or rescue Winter, which I think will be some nice drama when Bucky gets brought in (I really like this one) It has mostly set up but 2 scenes for in the future, Tony finding Coulson threatening Arno in IM2 and the data dump. (21k) (in this S/S Helped is Yelped, I'd fix it, but I've been working on this post forreeever)

Blood and an Arc - This came about from reading the Tony is a vampire fic and noticing that when he gets turned, generally Tony hates being a vampire. There aren't many where he comes back from Afghanistan a vampire and goes, huh... Well. This could be interesting. Loosely based on Vamp the Masquerade but I've tweaked it because my brain takes ideas and then runs off madly into the sunset. It is however utterly all over the place, some from Ironman and then random out of sequence chapters that I'm unsure about as I hadn't slept in a very long time on writing them and Tony went kind of Spike-ish calling James 'Pet'. I do like the idea of Tony fully embracing his changes. Yinsen never intended Tony to live, so he did something extra whilst turning him, so he is not an ordinary baby vampire and is convinced (justifiably so) that if he meets any other vamps, they'll try to kill him. In notes have Sam considering being a werewolf who works out Tony is a vamp and freaks out, because Vampires vs Werewolves and Tony is utterly confused and tells Sam he smells of mint (seriously, insomnia) Sam is baffled to find out the centuries of hatred that is claimed to be instinctual is actually taught. Sam gets kind happy he has a Vamp friend. (20k)

The Original Plan - This sets up around the end of the Mandarin (because honestly, I prefer working with Tony that has powered, especially because James has the serum and I personally think it would expand life span more than shown in Endgame. So I like evening things out and powered Tony is my jam) Tony has a bunch of plans, and they go awry. He doesn't see why and has zero clue what's going on. It's because no matter how well he plans this out, he's caught up in other people's plans. Steve is a little more "End goal justify the anything and everything." In other words, getting Bucky back is his plan and everyone are just pawns in said plan. I've taken that tactical genius title and also pushed him a little darker. After Ultron, he brings Wanda on for 3 reasons. 1 Precedence. 2 Fixing Bucky. 3 Making sure Tony doesn't find out about his parents and making sure he is on the team and available to fix Bucky's arm. That last bit changes things as instead of pulling away from the Avengers, Tony fully moves into the compound(just after AOU, it's not good). There will be no accords and Steve will find Bucky and just move him in and general plans on telling no one about the Winter Soldier. I summed up a chunk of AOU in this format, and I liked it (in an angst and pain fashion.) But it's quite long for a screenshot, so here's a chunk. Bucky is being brought in soon, but as it is, Tony is not having a good time, there might be Wanda conditions in his mind that Steve can use to convince Tony to do things... Also, because he is living there, I couldn't justify Sam not noticing there is something very wrong, so he is asking questions he didn't in canon as Tony's PTSD is more in his face living together you know? (16k)

[truthisgoldenau]

IT'S PRIDE MONTH

for a moment there I accidentally had Pierce's photo under Marian's name oop

Time to officially confirm some AU canon LGBT stuff! Each character is their own pride flag but I'll add in other stuff that's canon in universe plus some bonus stuff at the bottom.

First up is Freddy Fazbear Jr! Gay all the way.

He's definitely the "move I'm gay" type

Was honestly super freaked out to tell his dad but went with the bold approach of bringing home his first boyfriend and blatantly announcing their relationship as such as a challenge and was honestly surprised his dad wasn't bothered by it

He was around 13 at the time and so the twins and Fred were still in touch with Maddie's parents and brother. All three were incredibly supportive (and still would be)

He absolutely had a crush on Bonnie Burnette even though he had never talked to him. Since the twins and Bonnie went to the same high school he knew of Bonnie, thought he was a dreamboat, but because Bonnie was somehow in with the popular kids (it was the money 100%) Freddy didn't even bother

Frankie Fazbear! My ace son! (The ears are wrong blame the app lol)

Honestly doesn't even know he's ace until much later

He's had crushes before but he's never been in a relationship (part of it is the attempt to communicate since he's mute sort of stops him)

He wasn't even sure it was worth mentioning to his dad so Fred never knew

This boy can hold so much love in his heart but he's not a very physical person that's all

Fred Fazbear Sr! YES. HE'S BI.

Only Maddie even knew he was bi. That he knew of. Some people probably figured it out with his over the top always on personality.

Fred was constantly sure that Pierce picked up on it particularly after the Christmas mistletoe fiasco but if Pierce gave a shit he never said anything.

Frankly it was amazing that more people didn't pick up on it. He was over the top about everything until a point.

While he didn't overreact to his son very blatantly announcing he had a boyfriend, he was very proud of him. It was a very Fazbear family way to come out. Even though he got so distant, he was always proud of his boys.

Bonnie Burnette! Also bi!

Being constantly surrounded by the popular crowd and always being the sort of stand out with purple hair and stupid purple bunny ears didn't do much to make Bonnie feel like he could even tell anyone he was bi.

Really the only reason he was even in the popular crowd was he was rich.

It made him less of a target for bullies at least cause the jocks wouldn't stand for anyone messing with him.

Knew Frankie from math class and honestly wished he could have talked to the quiet kid with bear ears as an alternative to the entirety of the popular group

Sort of in the background of the AU story very quietly develops a crush on Freddy and then thinks "oh God I like the troublemaker NO"

Chandler Cicily! Lesbian!

Would absolutely describe her sexuality as "girls"

She's starting to discover it during the AU (even if it's not a topic that comes up but that's why there's this post about stuff lmao).

She's the baby of the group since she's 16 when the story starts and relationships aren't important to her yet

But the crew still support her when later she's like "maybe I just wanna bake things for a cute girl and let her put flowers in my hair is that too much to ask" (Marian always chimes in with "mood")

Marian Mengele! An absolute bi icon!

Listen, her one goal in life may be to find her lost childhood friend, but that doesn't mean she's solely interested in this one Irish redhead

That said she's definitely only dated redheads

She's not afraid to be open about her orientation. It doesn't bother her. She's seen as weird already what can it hurt.

That said she falls for Finn so goddamn fast when she finds him that she questions herself and then is like "no wait I'm definitely not straight"

She's very upfront with Finn about it. There's no reason to hide this from him (or anyone) and if they're a thing she wants him to know.

Finn being the wonderful human being still loves her and it doesn't bother him. Why should it? He's just happy to be with someone who loves him.

Chetana might be Chandler's fake big sister but Marian is like fake mama when it comes to Chandler finally coming out.

God bless Finn for being the kind of person to sit and let Marian braid his hair with flowers because that's one of Marian's favorite things to do when her partner has longer hair and Finn's never really bothered with keeping his hair short THESE TWO ARE ICONIC I love them

Pierce Graves! A shitty pansexual icon

First off he absolutely knew that Fred wasn't 100% straight he had no idea how it wasn't immediately obvious to everyone

That said Pierce literally did not give a shit who knew about his sexuality

As shitty as his whole personality was he could turn on the charm easily

His parents definitely knew but he was already a punk ass rebellious teen at the time so they have him the "be careful, don't get anyone pregnant" talk and worried from afar. If it bothered them, Pierce never knew because they made sure that he could still count on them (even though at the time Pierce didn't really talk to them much about anything)

Fred absolutely knew though I mean they were good friends

He's not a romantic. He's never really had a meaningful relationship because he's not that type of person. To be honest, there's a piece of him that saw relationships that worked and wondered how that would feel but he knew that wasn't for him. He figured that out way early on when he asked his granddad why he didn't have a grandma and Mortimer Graves didn't sugarcoat the answer. "She wasn't happy with me. I gave her the choice. She could stay and be miserable with my lack of a decent personality even though I was already struggling to not be such an ass or she could go and find someone who actually made her happy. She chose happiness, and while it sucks that she drifted out of my life and your dad's, she's better off."

Pierce could frankly always tell that he was more like his granddad and as much as he sometimes wanted to know if he could even out up with a meaningful relationship, he avoided it. Better to not hurt anyone and wonder than to become the catalyst for someone else to overcome, right?

Fritz Smith! Gay!

The shy bumbling mechanic of the early 90s Freddy's ? Gay? It's more likely than you think

He was still far in the closet in the 90s He was young, living at home still because he had just gotten out of school, and while his parents weren't super conservative, he also didn't know how they'd take it

Found a friend in the day guard Mike Schmidt early on. Mike was looking for a roommate since his last one had moved out and Fritz jumped at the chance

They are like totally boyfriends by the time they cameo in the story though

Mike Schmidt! Another gay icon!

Mostly invited Fritz to live at his apartment because he felt bad that this poor shy mechanic was getting constantly harangued about the animatronics having problems

Was glad to let Fritz complain about it and even cry it was very stressful but Fritz needed the money

Mike liked him. It would be hard not to really. Fritz was a sweetheart.

Mike didn't ask him out till much later though he wasn't quite sure that Fritz was gay and didn't want to ruin their friendship.

Luckily it didn't and as it turns out they worked well in a relationship.

Fritz's parents had to take some time to get used to it when finally Fritz got the nerve to tell them but as soon as they did there was no end of support from them

Mike's parents were the opposite which was mainly why he already lived by himself but oh well he got a cute boyfriend and cool parents-in-law later it was kind of a win

Daniel Hartford-Dunn! Gay!

Presenting Maddie's older brother!

outside universe fact, he's loosely based in my actual cousin who lives in California with his husband.

He's 7 years older than Maddie was. Despite that, they were still close. Maddie's parents wanted more kids but struggled to get the two they had.

He's an accountant for a corporation and his boyfriend (and later his husband) is a pilot.

Last time he saw his nephews in person was at Maddie's funeral. He misses them terribly but over the years less and less contact came from his brother in law

Sometime in 2006 though he ends up getting a call from his nephews and there's this great reunion.

He's just. This chill older guy. Who loves his family. And doesn't care what people think.

Since I can't put anymore photos, here's the bonus content!

-as mentioned last night Dr. Phillip Guy is on the ace spectrum. I don't have anymore details about that at the moment unfortunately.

-Charlie Emily is a lesbian. The Emily twins were born in 1980. They haven't appeared in the AU yet even as cameos but they exist. Considering in AU canon the Emily family is alive and well in Hurricane, Utah without an Afton to be found, Charlie's dating her childhood friend Jessica at around the time the AU events are happening.

-Sammy Emily is trans and bi. Both Henry and his wife (who I know I at one point named but don't remember what it is anymore) love their two daughters to pieces.

That said I'll make a post at a later point introducing the Emily family because so far I've only officially given the design for Henry and not the rest.

In line with canon, Spring Bonnie/Springtrap can be counted as gay.

While Fred kept the shows at the diner pretty simple and straightforward, there was definitely this subtle underlying idea that Spring Bonnie and Fredbear were a content gay couple although if asked it was easy to present them as friends. At least, that was during '81-'82

However!

Fred also had Henry help him program in a special one time only song called Springtime for his and Maddie's anniversary in 1983, which was of course a love song. Fred always thought of that as being mostly for his wife, and partially as a turning point thematically for the two characters.

Henry was on board with this. They still kept it subtle, but there were clear moments where it was pretty much certain that the only way to interpret Spring Bonnie and Fredbear was as a couple. It was either so subtle that no one was bothered or Spring Bonnie's chosen voice was so ambiguously non-binary that no one thought it was odd.

Fred had plans for it to become more "canon" but never got to implement them since Spring Bonnie got damaged before he could.

Springtrap, being sentient and able to later interpret his emotions, is very confused about how he as a machine was meant to feel about this character he knew but the more sentient he becomes the more aware he is that he misses Fredbear and that he loved him. It's the cause of a lot of internal conflict for him. But he can be counted in the category of LGBT characters in the AU.

Happy pride month ya'll! 🏳️‍🌈🏳️‍🌈🏳️‍🌈

[whimsically-ominously-auspice]

A lot of control freaks are at risk. Mostly,control freaks

The ones that must invite evil into other's lives.

The mom that doesn't care her daughter doesn't like her fiance and feels it a mistake to have gotten engaged. But continues to push her daughter, even planning the wedding for her to force her to marry someone whom will be unkind to her

The moms that get limited money welfare or child support and goes and gets her nails and hair done and leaves the children in rags.

The moms that force their children to be perfect at all times, children never had the joy of feeling free. Mud between their toys without receiving corporal punishment aka an ass whipping.

The "friend" always pushing you into drug use.

The "friend" bullying you to go out every night calling you a nerd for wanting to do homework or eat dinner with family.

The teacher that stuffs more and more work down your throat with nary an encouraging word nor tone.

The principal that beats students so hard with paddles it can be heard through the halls of the school and the child not being able to sit pain free without days.

The doctor that doesnt listen to your symptoms and sends you home without proper care Because they are too busy and overbooked.

The dentist that applies a chemical to rot teeth so that they can get money from repairing what looks like cavities in xrays

The adults breaking bones in others because they're "too" drunk or high or much of an ass hole not to be selfish jerks.

Bullies. People that don't mean well but we trust with our souls and lives and they purposely push advice or decisions onto others who dont want them.

Someone who doesn't allow you to breathe freely.

"You don't know how to allow us to breathe. So let us breathe for you" The Ventilator response to idiots and jerks who think they rule the world and you aren't allowed to think or breathe for yourself. In response to the person whom says "you don't know how to breathe. Let me do it for you"

Breathing the same term as live.

Its a beautiful virus Corona and COVID-19

Ironically it affects most Zulululu aliens... And they are the ones that created it.

Welcome to Eaerth. 🌎

COVID-19

Co Ventilator ID (children & adults as age) 19

Those of us helicopter parents ... Co parent the child with the world and the child as age 19.

Those of us helicopter children .... Co parent the parent with the world and parent as age 19.

Thus you see the equation is equality between children and adults.

I by far have raised more children than any other teacher taught for a maximum of 60 years and done it better than them by treating them as adults.

62% of negative comments about the way i taught the NHRA children said I needed to tone down sexual abuse and other information i gave them, the problem is As Adults we Learn that we were sexually abused and People KNEW at that time we were young that it was bad. So i had to tell them each and every thing that could be bad. Because they asked.

They asked me an "adult" question. I treated their questions as they were planning to go play with another child's vagina and wanted to know what the abuse part was.

Had I not explained in exact and general terms as I did they could become sexual predators themselves.

That is how i dealt with the situation. Because I was too afraid they would say "that happened to me" So i treated them as potential abusers. Because I would have ended up back behind that candy shack shaking and hysterical losing my mind. So i put up a barrier between their possible pain and myself.

And educated them in how not to become a sexual predator.

Of those NHRA children, in that sexual awareness class, 13 children only 1 became a sexual offender, repeat rapist and it was Ben who refused to listen and usually sat at his desk drawing. Of the kids that paid attention 0 became sexual offenders.

And if you watched the video they clearly focused on Ben to show he was not listening to the content nor context.

Furthermore. I had to teach them all the ins and outs so if perhaps they were an unfortunate victim they would tell me and we would have the CIA investigate so it would never happen to them

I didn't know if they asked because they were thinking about bodies and various ways they could be touched or if they were asking because they had been touched that way.

So had i shut down any child's question with that's too much information and not have a male come explain it and never have the question answered. I knew i would slam the door in the child's face from self healing from abuse or preventing it from happening to them or to someone else.

They needed all the information available. To understand that if they are touched wrongly they have to know it was wrong and that they could get help. They deserved help and someone would help them.

If i said generally "if you are touched here here or here and you don't want to be and so you were molested" then we would have a shit ton more false rape reports out there.

More lives ruined for lack of information

More lives ruined for lack of information.

Treating every one as age 19. Old enough to smoke. Old enough to rent their own home. Old enough to have their own car. Old enough to know better and too young to care.

50 year old ... "Oh sonny I can't do that I'm too old" no ya ain't old lady. You can do it too.

5 year old ... "My mom says I'm too young but i know I can" then it's something that age isn't discriminatory about.

One common thing is Learning. A child can go to an University class. 7,852,931,862,985,301 people signed up for the free wellness class at Yale of those people 76% were under age 18.

Yale. A top Ivey League school. A University most people are aged 18 or more to attend.

13% were age 50 and above.

Two different people age groups vastly far from one another deciding they could do the same exact thing a 19 year old can do.

COVID-19 surviving.

We don't take away Granny's drivers license simply because shes old. She has the same rights to decide her driving benefits as a 19 year old.

No putting granny in a nursing home when she can still keep up her own residence. She has the same rights to decide where and when to live as a 19 year old.

No telling granny and our son who they cannot or can date. When our 3 year old says "my soulmate Is here. I want to introduce you and myself to her" then you go as if they were 19 years old.

COVID-19 that term will allow us surviving the Apocalypse to survive our world that is leftover.

Corona Virus. Time down with Our Spouse and children. The difference between a child and adult is the adult can drink a beer because they are over the age of 21. So in the state of COVID-19 we still respect you're fucking old enough to have kids and we can't tell you what to do.

Wahu Virus. Whahoooooo!! The world will be a better place everyday.

We didn't create the virus. Only the names and chose to not prevent the disease to be released but to be available to be spread.

Nathaniel is always ordering the release of Viruses in China and Hong Kong. I over heard his phone calls and wrote them here. Only 62% of you remember.

He wanted a job...

So it was apparently a code. So our CIA went into the computer and advised them to release it into the Wahu zip code. Meanwhile our CIA on the ground prevented and arrested the ones spreading the disease and only allowed 25% of the virus to hit its targets.

We knew it would spread naturally and the thing was to make a big deal instead of a big virus splash into our air and land.

The targets were outlying rural areas that we allowed. Not deep city but because it was air based we chose to allow the open air places to receive the diseases.

So in a place where 500,000 people would be exposed we closed that to an area where only 5,000 would be.

So while we chose to allow a virus to spread we already had magic done to allow it to kill only EVIL HUMANS. as aliens are not ours to kill...

Except as it progressed evil aliens took too much joy and wanted to do destruction, too. So that is when Wendy and her Team changed the virus to include also Evil Aliens who have no right to be on Earth.

As People became concerned as to how to not catch the Virus COVID-19 became the name.

We never wanted China to be held responsible nor it be called The China virus so we never called it Wahu. Straight to Corona. We said we would back fold it to why we chose that location in particular.

Nathaniel's Zulululu lab is in northern China. So it would been in China it was released. We made up a huge event that was top secret about anti government assassins... People like me would be attending in the millions. And so this way we manipulated the Zulululu to believe it was the best place when really we Jist liked the name and it would suit our purpose to educate for future reasons.

We had to shut down the world's government. And this was simple.

To prove i do have control of the world and we don't want Zulululu here at all or other aliens. They don't fit. They don't live well here. We don't mesh. We aren't friends.

I'm not living on a planet that always deems killing and war necessary. For Some one to try to gain control like sport while hurting my friends I allow to live here, this is my planet it wasn't created by any another than me and Alex. Marc is a star from a collapsed galaxy. Its a long story. But we are a 3some.

When Venus was attacked. We allowed them a safe Haven. We invited them and changed our world to include them

Those some aliens that attacked Venus live here now.

I allowed them and all aliens from 1777 to 1977 to prove they have the ability to sustain their alien life here. Only 1 planet has proven they had the ability.

In the film Virgin River i once again visited to notify the leaders of Zulululu they needed to evacuate inn 1979. They instead said they would change me to rule the world. So i took that challenge. It is now 2020. And they have failed. All alien life has failed.

In the film you'll see I do things my way. To prove they are wrong and do not deserve a place on my planet.

You'll see i do allow friendly conversation and warmness between the community and I.

I get tired of the lying bitch ass mayor and i do strike her with a heart attack. You'll see me extra extra pissed off in those episodes.

So review those and realize I'm totally fucking pissed. Especially when i am standing in her living room after.

But i still remain friendly. I even bring the bitch her dam mattress down.

But i wanted to kill her and didn't. I could had but th3 point was to tell her to quit lying. She figured out who I was fairly early on and abandoned the baby to distract me. I was a trophy to be kept In the neighborhood. Not someone to listen to.

Look at Chloe's eyes. She's certainly of an alien quality..

I also knew what they were up to.

If you watch it seems things take abrupt turns ... Its research. Knowledge gained from patterns and observations.

Like now i watched and right away knew who was lovers. But it is not revealed until i figure it out then. So when she brings out the divorce I had only realized it after going into,her bedroom that the cabin was hers. And doctor had already yelled at her about me staying in his cabin. So in her bedroom I realized they were at one time living together due to her decor. And photos on the night stand on his side of the bed...

Point is we ghosted into alien communities refusing to leave to ask them to leave. Walked and existed in their communities as we did in our own with our True Loves, family and friends.

We proved they had not adhered to guidelines.

And this is why we have WWIII.

Because they are still here.

In the film you'll see phones like now to show them what we could be provided and would provide their home planets with to communicate on.

When they refused we took all our stuff away. And left them with nothing. If we replaced a TV with one of ours... When i left. They had nothing left. I took what was mine in a fit of rage. And didn't return what had stood there before.

We provided them with these items via magic 1-4 months before arriving so they would not suspect a stranger.

The first time we hadn't and in 1979 it was the second time we attempted to help them gently understand they needed other leave.

That is why what you see now in WWIII is so cold, calculated and done. Pissed off. No 2 ways. Fuck you do what i say.

33 years extra i tried different ways. Their recommended ways. To allow them one last chance..

Now in my mind these bitches are all dead. Cause im gonna kill what they live in and eject their souls.

Currently our galaxy is in a black hole. So they can't find us and how to return. Any Galaxy in a Black Hole means if you try to enter you will be killed upon sight..

No "are you lost can i help you?" Instant death.

And our planet is in a black hole within the black holes. It has been since 1817. That is why the only planet we see is Venus because we brought it with us.

Otherwise we could see almost every planet and moon in existence but we don't.

Because of rude ass alien invaders.

So with the Corona Virus we made rules that have punishment of death attached if they are not followed precisely.

To further protect us in the future.

"What's your parenting plan?"

"COVID-19 and if we don't do it we will die"

Aliens will think again about settling in if for some reason they happen to make it to Eaerth.

Then we ruthlessly kill aliens "that wasn't age 19" no second chances..

Loop hole is all ages are treated as 19. So if they do treat us as age 19 because they studied before trying to invade...,well that happened to so and so when,they were 10 --- "we are informed you treated him like a 10 year old. You must be executed immediately"

19 at age 10. 10 at age 19.

You see? Air and water tight.

No one is fucking with our planet again.

Simply they will learn to stay the fuck off.

Don't worry m I break this down to nano if ever we're invaded.

But I built it beyond xyano to prevent it.

So we will be okay.

Work on being safe and taking care and enjoying life. Memorizing your new parental models of COVID-19

[punkscowardschampions]

Buster & Rio

Buster: [Sends a selfie of him studying hard] Buster: So that's me. What are you doing? Rio: Proud of you, babe Rio: also you look cute 😍 Rio: [Selfie at whatever party she's been dragged to] Rio: Babysitting, like Buster: Well, damn, that's how fantasies start Buster: You look so good right now Rio: Yeah, I've seen the films too 😏 Rio: Is that how you've been rewarding yourself for your hard work or? Buster: I bet you have, babe Buster: And no, I haven't taken a break yet, I was saving them up for now Buster: For you Rio: You calling me a pervert? 😉 Rio: Well I'm all yours, baby Rio: How's your day been? Buster: 'Course not. You're such an innocent baby Buster: Yeah? Good Buster: 'Cause I've been so bored Rio: Jesus Rio: I can tell Rio: If this is how it gets you I might have to let you be bored more often Buster: What can I say? I've had a lot of time to think about you while my teachers were chatting the same old shit Rio: Yeah? Rio: What have you been thinking about me? Buster: Mainly all the ways you'd make learning fun for me Buster: It's a skill Rio: If only I'd stayed in School Rio: Career right there Buster: I'm not sharing you Buster: Private tuition or nothing Buster: I mean, it can be public, but still just me and you Rio: I'm fine with that Rio: You got the funds, posh boy Buster: You know it, babe Rio: I accept the position then, when do I start? Buster: You can start right now, if you want Rio: I wanna talk to you first, for a bit Rio: I've missed you Buster: I've missed you too Buster: So much Rio: I think I have good news though Buster: Tell me Rio: [Test picture] Rio: Obviously it's like Rio: really early days Buster: Oh my god Buster: When can we be sure? Buster: Like 1000% Rio: I'm getting a blood test at the Doctors, that's definite, just in case this test is giving a false positive but that's really rare, like you either are or you aren't really so Rio: We're having a baby Buster: Fuck, Rio, we did it Rio: I know Rio: I didn't know if it would happen, I mean Rio: I've not tried before obviously Rio: it's so surreal Buster: We can do anything Buster: I knew it'd work Rio: I'm glad 'cos it has and there's no going back on it now Buster: Good, I don't want to Buster: I want you and our baby Rio: I just keep rubbing my stomach like Rio: they're already in there Buster: Do you feel any different yet? Is that a stupid question? Rio: I don't think so Rio: I've not been being sick or anything yet, though that'll be coming in a month or so if it does Rio: it's just all so new it doesn't feel real but at the same time, so real and exciting Buster: By then my exams will be almost over and then I'll be back to look after you Buster: Wait, you're at a party right now? How has Indie not clocked that you aren't getting wasted alongside her? Rio: Just in time for the mood swings too, no doubt 😜 Rio: Such a good actress, obviously Rio: Never drank so many cokes in my life, hopefully she just thinks I'm doing coke in the bathroom, like Buster: Am I gonna have to buy us a bigger place so you can stay in your wing and me in mine, like? 😂 Buster: I really didn't expect to be this happy today Buster: And I really fucking love you Rio: 😂 Rio: Please, no matter how big our house gets, let's never be those people Rio: I love you so much, I've been dying to tell you all day Buster: I couldn't even, I'm so tempted to get a flight now just to see you even though I'd literally have to come straight back Buster: You should've, there's no better excuse to leave school and these cunts behind Rio: I know, I was trying to be good though, Rio: I didn't want you to get caught playing hooky when we can't tell anyone why yet Buster: I'd make something up Buster: Not a bad actor myself, hopefully Buster: You know nothing's more important than this Rio: Well, had other stuff to keep me busy Rio: Not as important, or good but Rio: Drew got sentenced today, 4 years Rio: hence I'm with Indie Buster: Shit Buster: How is she? Rio: She says good but Rio: She'll be alright, I don't know if she's grasping how long it is, or if you even can Buster: Yeah Buster: Our baby will be a kid when he gets out Rio: Shit Rio: Astrid will be too Rio: it's mental Buster: Indie and Edie'll be our age basically Rio: That's scary Rio: So much could happen in that time, he's going to miss it all Buster: It's so weird Buster: Like who knows how many kids we'll have by then Rio: See how you feeling when this one arrives Rio: You might be thinking one's enough 😏 Buster: No chance Buster: And we've been through this, one kid would be too spoiled and just Buster: odd Rio: 😂 Okay Rio: but maybe you've only just recovered enough for no.2 Buster: You reckon? Buster: I think you're speaking for yourself, babe Rio: No way Rio: I want all your babies Buster: It's okay if you only want this one, you'll be doing the hard work until they're born Rio: I don't but we'll see Rio: all the focus on this one for now Buster: Yeah Buster: Jesus, I can't believe you're sitting there with my baby inside you Rio: I know, how does it feel? Buster: I don't have words Buster: When are you going to the doctor's? I wanna be there with you Rio: You don't have to, babe, they won't do anything but the test for now Buster: Yeah but still Buster: The school don't need to know I ain't sick Buster: I can be there and back before anyone realises Rio: Are you sure? Buster: I'm so sure Buster: There's nowhere else I'd rather be Buster: So when? Rio: You're so lovely Rio: I'm booked in for Friday Buster: Okay Buster: I'll be there Buster: We're a team, baby Rio: We are Rio: We get to do this all together Buster: You know I'll do anything for you Buster: Both of you now Rio: Gonna make me cry Buster: You can Buster: It's alright Rio: Not in front all these people Rio: Hold on, I'll go somewhere more quiet Buster: I love you Rio: I love you Rio: Do you know they're like the size of a grain of sugar right now Rio: How does that turn into a  human Buster: What? Really Rio: Yeah, even at a month, it's the size of a poppy seed Rio: it's tripping me out, it's so tiny Buster: Fucking hell Rio: How do I keep something so small safe Buster: We'll do it together Buster: You look after the baby and I'll look after you Rio: Yeah, I know you will Buster: What do you need like vitamins or something? Rio: Yeah Rio: I'm making sure I eat right too, getting our dates right so we can plan all the scans and shit Rio: The due date is 14th January, by the way, I did the Maths Buster: I can get food delivered to you if you get too tired, there's no danger Indie will steal and eat it, like Buster: You're so good at maths I have no reason to doubt that Rio: You're so fucking cute Rio: You take such good care of me Buster: It's the only job I have right now Buster: I'm gonna do it properly Rio: Gotta get those results too, baby Rio: but I know you will Buster: I promise Buster: I'm gonna make you both proud of me Rio: We already are Rio: I know, we already been talking Rio: telling them all about their daddy Buster: You're gonna make me cry Buster: You're so fucking cute Rio: I've been missing you like crazy Buster: Yeah? Rio: Mhmm Rio: It's been very distracting, mostly in a good way Buster: I'm here now Buster: You don't need to miss me anymore Rio: Yeah? Buster: Yeah Buster: Anything my wife wants, she can have Rio: Still the best feeling when you call me that Buster: Wait until the kid calls you mum Buster: We're gonna be parents after Christmas, babe Rio: Fuck Rio: How and when are we telling everyone Buster: I don't wanna tell them until we have to Rio: Fair Rio: Hopefully I won't get massive but Rio: who knows Buster: We could have twins Buster: There's no hiding that Rio: Oh Rio: Why didn't I even consider that Buster: 'Cause it's kind of a scary thought, like Rio: One we gotta have though Rio: When can you find out Buster: It depends Buster: Sometimes the heartbeats are so alike you don't realise Rio: 😏 Freaks Buster: Usually they work it out at the dating scan though Rio: That's okay then Rio: we'll call it it 'til then Buster: Do you want a boy or a girl? Buster: Assuming you don't get both Rio: Hmm Rio: I don't know Rio: either way it's going to be so perfect and so loved Buster: Yeah Rio: My friends with kids have all got girls though Rio: Maybe a baby boy Buster: I wouldn't be mad about it Rio: Gotta have your heir right Buster: 'Course Rio: Can't promise a 50/50 split like my Ma managed Rio: Pure skill that is Buster: I don't care if we have 11 boys or 11 girls Buster: Thinking of names might get difficult eventually though Rio: We haven't even started on the names Buster: All I know is I'm not naming any of them after me Buster: Posh cunts are always doing that Rio: Honestly Rio: There's only one you anyway, babe Rio: don't wanna give the kid a complex Buster: They deserve their own fucking name, like Buster: Not an amateur Rio: They can't have a boring name Rio: Neither of us having boring names Buster: Who in this whole family does actually? Buster: Not like we've got an uncle Bob Rio: 😂 Buster: But yeah you're right Buster: No half measures Rio: Go hard or go home baby Buster: Obviously Buster was timed out 11 hours ago Buster joined the chat 11 hours ago Buster: But coming home to you gets me hard so what can I do? Rio: I wish you were here right now Buster: Me too Buster: I just keep looking at that pic of you Buster: Amongst others, like Rio: You want some more? Buster: Always Rio: Hold on then Rio: Not tryna flash some pre-teens Buster: 😂 Buster: What kinda party is this, babe? Rio: Not that kind, soz lads Rio: Indie said I can't hang tho so Buster: So much to prove, yeah? Buster: You're a cool mum Rio: 😒 Hush Buster: But you are Buster: She just don't know it yet Rio: Seriously, it's harder to keep it secret than you'd think Rio: I told her I was on antibiotics and she was like...and? 🙄😏 Buster: If you need to tell her it's okay Buster: Like yeah we have an en suite but she still lives with us Rio: I'll tell her when we hit 12 weeks Rio: you know Rio: most don't before then Rio: I can do it Buster: Yeah but Buster: Nothing bad's gonna happen, like Buster: It's just not Rio: Yeah, of course Rio: That's all you can hope and pray for Buster: I'll do whatever I have to for you both to be safe, you know Buster: Even go to church if that's what it takes Rio: I know baby Rio: Me too Buster: You're gonna be the best mum Buster: You're the best wife already Rio: As good as I can be from a distance, like Buster: The best, end of Buster: You're keeping me going right now, babe Rio: Okay, we're both the best Rio: I can't wait for all this shit to be done, then we don't have to be apart Rio: ever again Buster: It'll go by so fast, I promise Buster: I'm gonna come back for weekends when I can Rio: Do what you gotta do baby Rio: I can be as here or as chill as you need Buster: Thank fuck your appointment is Friday so I can just stay Buster: Nobody will even bat an eyelid, like Rio: Let's just stay in bed the whole time Rio: Please Buster: 'Course baby Buster: That's all I want Rio: I'm gonna give you exactly what you need, don't you worry Buster: I'll give you anything and everything Buster: Hold me to it Rio: I just want you Buster: You've got me Buster: Whenever Rio: Good Rio: 'cos I need you so bad Rio: hate for you to not keep up, babe 😏 Buster: When haven't I? Buster: Come on Rio: 😋 Just a little encouragement Buster: Oh? Is that how you wanna play tonight Buster: Alright Rio: Maybe Rio: What you gonna do about it? Buster: Maybe I'll stop being so nice Rio: Yeah? Buster: Yeah Rio: Maybe I'll remember to pretend to not enjoy it Buster: You reckon? Buster: I'm not sure you're that good of an actress, babe Rio: 😱 Rio: Literally the rudest thing you've ever said to me Rio: Know we're not playing nice but damn Buster: Poor baby Buster: I only meant that I'm gonna make it impossible for you to pretend anything Rio: 🤤 Rio: Not gonna start faking it now Buster: You can't Buster: It goes against the vows Buster: And I'd know so there's no way I'm letting that happen Rio: You're right I can't Rio: You're incapable of being bad at it Buster: Yeah I am Buster: I want you too much Buster: And I need you to keep wanting me back Rio: I'm never gonna not Rio: You're the best, Buster Rio: that's why I'm keeping you Buster: I miss you Buster: I swear it gets worse every time Rio: It does Rio: At least we don't have to pretend we don't miss each other now Rio: not that that'll earn you much slack, like Buster: Which is typical 'cause exam time is the perfect excuse to be a moody, stressed cunt Rio: I bet Rio: I don't think your sister and Junie have seen sunlight Buster: I'm not surprised Buster: Nance has never thrived under pressure like I do Buster: Stick your head in some time and make sure she ain't having a breakdown, yeah? Rio: Alright, since you asked nicely Rio: I've been avoiding them best I can Buster: You're such a good girl Rio: Yours Buster: Mine Rio: You're hot Buster: For you, yeah Rio: I can't stop thinking about when you got me pregnant, well, when I think you did Rio: at the party Buster: Me either Buster: Let's hope your parents don't host anything too soon 'cause I'm having enough flashbacks as is Buster: I mean it, let's conceive all our kids like that Rio: There's basically a birthday every other week with this fam 😏 Rio: Never gonna complain again if we get to fuck like that though Buster: I'm already studying in my sister's room 'cause it's one of the only places here that we haven't fucked Buster: Now I gotta start avoiding half your house as well Buster: But at least it's only while you aren't here Rio: Oh okay, I'll keep it PG then 😇 Buster: Shut up Buster: You won't and I don't want you to Rio: Well if I'm gonna fuck you you better get back to your room boy Buster: You know I'm on my break Buster: I'm not just hanging in there draped in a rainbow flag or whatever Rio: Oh babe Rio: that's not a turn-on 😂 Buster: Exactly Buster: That's why I'm in the kitchen Buster: Getting a drink and annoying you Rio: Good Rio: Sober parties are awful Rio: You're gonna have to be so entertaining for the next 9 months Buster: Don't worry it's just water for solidarity Buster: The least I can do Rio: Baby! Rio: How are you so nice Buster: I'd be a prick to get drunk when you can't Buster: Like I said, we're a team Rio: You so can Rio: I'm not gonna be that bitch Rio: but I love you Buster: No Buster: I'm serious Rio: You're so Rio: How do people not see you like I do Buster: I don't love them like I love you Rio: I feel blessed, no hashtag needed to make it seem less genuine Rio: I mean it Buster: It's the same for me Buster: And now I get to be a dad too Buster: Actually speechless Rio: Seriously Rio: This kid is so lucky Buster: I can't wait to meet them Rio: Me either Rio: What are they going to be like Buster: They've got us for parents so Buster: Perfect obviously Rio: I can't believe we get to do this Buster: I can't believe we've got to do any of this since we first got together, honestly Buster: That I get to feel like this all the time Rio: Well we weren't meant to but Rio: give a shit then Rio: less now Buster: What did I do to deserve you 'cause I know that first kiss wasn't it Rio: I told you, you got really fucking hot Buster: Yeah? Rio: It was indecent Rio: No one's good looking at that age, fucking hell Buster: You were Rio: You think? Buster: I know Buster: I thought about you almost as much then as I do now Rio: I like thinking about that Buster: Shame I can't go back in time and tell my younger self what's gonna happen Buster: I wanted you so much Rio: I don't know if little you would survive Buster: Would definitely think I was full of shit and try and fight me Rio: Probably win Rio: he was very angry Buster: Yeah Buster: I better teach our kid how to fight in case they take after me Rio: We won't let him feel as bad as we've felt Buster: I'd die first Buster: I mean that Rio: I know baby Rio: that's why you're the best dad Buster: I'm gonna have to get used to you saying that Buster: Still getting my head around being your husband Rio: I know Rio: It gets me too Buster: I'm blushing right now Buster: [Sends photographic proof] Rio: 😩 Rio: Fuck me Rio: you're so angelic Buster: Say please first Rio: I'm begging, baby Buster: Call me Buster: I wanna hear that Rio: [Calls 'cos highkey] Buster: Jesus Buster: I think you made me lose my voice Rio: Good think you've not got any oral exams, yeah? Buster: Imagine my excuse note Buster: Like mum can you just Rio: 😏 Rio: I'll pretend to be your Ma, babe 😂 Buster: Fuck Buster: Don't make it hot Rio: You can call me mamãe and mean it baby Rio: Don't have to leave the Portuguese lessons in Brazil Buster: You're killing me right now Buster: Teach me, babe Rio: You're a fast learner, baby Rio: You've got all summer to get your tongue around it Buster: Yeah Buster: I'm gonna impress you Buster: You'll see Rio: muito gostoso Rio: that's you Buster: It's all you, baby Rio: Okay, but make it gotosa or it's getting gay and offensive to me up in here Buster: 😂 Rio: The queue for this bathroom Rio: Whoops Rio: Sorry everyone Buster: Forget them Buster: I'm not sorry Rio: Easy Rio: I'm still thinking about you Buster: I can't stop Buster: Ever Rio: Yeah, you're pretty special but save some time for me Buster: Shut up Buster: You know what I mean Rio: 😋 Rio: Make me Buster: Can you come back with me on Sunday or do you need to stay there? Rio: I don't know Rio: I probably shouldn't Rio: I know Indie is hurting Buster: Yeah Buster: I'm being selfish Buster: Forget it Rio: You aren't Rio: I want to come too Rio: and I don't really know how I'm meant to help her but Rio: we'll make the most of it Buster: You're right Buster: You always are Rio: She misses you too, by the way Buster: I'm sure the car softens the blow though Rio: I've had to be so strict or she'll have it apart before I know it Buster: She better not Buster: I'll be actually strict Rio: Daddy Rio: That's just for me Buster: Oh, are you jealous, baby? Rio: Yes. Buster: You're so hot Rio: What's a girl gotta do to get punished, honestly Buster: What can I say? You're such an angel Rio: Then do what I want Buster: If only 'cause I love it when you talk like that Buster: Okay Rio: I miss your marks Buster: I know you do Buster: Do some for me Buster: Make them last until I get there Rio: Where do you want them? Buster: Surprise me Buster: I wanna just find them Rio: You're full of good ideas Buster: You inspire me, babe Rio: I can't wait 'til I get a belly Rio: it's so sexy, don't you think Buster: Don't, you're gonna turn me on all over again Rio: Sorry Rio: being pregnant turns me on, it's your fault Buster: It's as much your fault Rio: Is that how you remember it? 😉 Buster: I've thought about it enough times, like Buster: And now I am again so Rio: Me too Rio: How they didn't hear me Rio: Fuck Buster: Or me Rio: Flashbacks so vivid I can feel it Buster: Christ Buster: You need to be here now Rio: Where would we do it first if I was Buster: Against the front door if that's where you're coming in Rio: Hope we're alone then Buster: I don't care if we aren't Rio: Find it hard to care about anything when you're inside me Buster: Good Buster: Or else I'd have to work harder Rio: No one works harder than my baby, trust Buster: It's for you Rio: And you know all of me is yours forever Buster: Is it fucked if I want you to touch yourself in the middle of this party considering how young they are? 'Cause I do Rio: No more fucked than how much I want to now you've said it Buster: Go on then Buster: Think about me and our party Rio: You were so hard under me Buster: I am now Rio: If I was sat in your lap right now, I'd be rubbing myself on you so hard, you'd feel exactly how wet I was Buster: If you were sat on my lap right now I'd make sure everyone knew exactly how bad you wanted me Buster: You'd be making every sound I like Rio: I don't even have to say a word Rio: Everyone knows I'm your little slut and that I'd do anything for you, you can see it when I look at you Buster: You're the only person who's ever turned me on with just a look Buster: The way you do it Buster: Fuck Rio: I just want you that bad Rio: It's always been obvious Buster: I need you that bad too Buster: It's as obvious here and now as it's ever been Rio: Are you touching yourself too, Daddy? Buster: [Sends pics] Buster: See for yourself Rio: Jesus Rio: That girl definitely just heard me Buster: She better have appreciated it Rio: My moans or your pics? Rio: 'Cos she ain't seeing 'em Buster: How good you sound Rio: I was too embarrassed to check Rio: and distracted by how good you look and how bad I want Rio: Actually drooling, like, Jesus boy, the things you do to me Buster: Don't ever be embarrassed by how fucking hot you are Buster: It's not even big yet and I still wanna cum all over your stomach Rio: That's just Rio: the hottest thing you've ever said Rio: Please Buster: It's true Rio: I wanna lick it up and kiss you deep so you can taste yourself Buster: I feel like the neighbours just heard me then so we're even Buster: Kinda Rio: You should shoot your cum in your own mouth tonight Rio: I promise you'll like it Rio: I do Buster: I'll record it for you Buster: We can find out my reaction together Rio: Good boy Rio: I've taught you well Buster: Say that again Rio: You're my good boy Buster: That's really getting to me Rio: You're making Mamãe very happy, baby Buster: Oh my god Buster: Rio, you're just Rio: I know Rio: Every fucked up thing you've ever thought Rio: You get to do with me, I want to Buster: 'Cause you're perfect Buster: You get me Buster: Better than anyone else ever has or would Rio: We were made for each other Rio: I believe that Buster: Me too Rio: I feel most like me when I'm with you Rio: and especially when it's just us Buster: I feel the exact same Buster: I swear Rio: I know Rio: You've never judged me for Rio: Anything Buster: I never will, baby Rio: and I'll never judge you, you can tell me anything and everything, you should Buster: We both have to Rio: I promise Buster: I promise Buster: Forever Rio: Now I'm just thinking about the honeymoon sex too Buster: I'm not sorry that you are Rio: I think all of Rio knew how happy I was to be your wife by the end of the trip Buster: Good Buster: We have to go back Buster: Not only so you get to be basically naked again Buster: But for the baby too Rio: I'm looking at our pictures now, we look really fucking good, like, we just do Rio: but of course Rio: we can have a place there if we get rich enough Buster: You always look good, but that fucking tan, Jesus Christ Buster: We can have places anywhere, everywhere, I'll make it happen Rio: I'm gonna post a throwback now Rio: so you can shamelessly perv on that Buster: You just wanna make me moan louder Rio: You will when you remember what happened directly after this photo Buster: Oh Rio: Oh? Buster: I should've known you were gonna post that one Buster: Damn Rio: I mean Rio: I was asking to be fucked on that beach, really Rio: Nothing subtle about it Buster: Not that you ever need to ask Buster: But yeah it was in your eyes, babe Rio: You looked so good that day, especially good Rio: I remember, you'd already been for a swim before I woke up and your hair was all wet and especially curly and you were just dripping holy shit Buster: Next time I fuck you on that beach I'm putting our second baby in you Rio: I need that Rio: It should be like, next level good, every time we make a baby Buster: It will be Buster: I don't think I've ever been as turned on as when we were at that party Buster: Just knowing we were creating our baby then Rio: It elevated it so much Rio: not to mention just fucking doing it there and then 'cos we wanted to Rio: I literally would not have stopped for anything or anyone Buster: Me either Buster: I couldn't Rio: You like the danger too, I've always known Rio: You didn't care about getting caught, all the stupid things we did as kids Rio: it was always so exciting when you were around Buster: I did it for you as much as me, back then even Buster: I didn't want you to forget about me Buster: So there was that purely selfish motive as well but Rio: Baby, I'd never forget you Buster: Mostly I just wanted us to have fun, you know Rio: And we did Buster: Shit was always so serious around us Rio: Yeah Rio: It was good to escape it all, for however long we were allowed Rio: you've always given me that Rio: I missed it, when we didn't see each other Buster: Me too Buster: I can't remember a time when I didn't miss you whenever I look back Buster: It's like how shit's measured, were we together or not Rio: I feel it too Rio: I tried to say it was bullshit and you know, get on with shit, other boys and stuff but Rio: I don't know Rio: something was always missing Rio: you Buster: Yeah Buster: I forgot myself when I tried to forget about you and just push it all away Buster: I think I thought if I was a different person then you wouldn't want me and I wouldn't want you Rio: Yeah Rio: I'm sorry you had to do that, ever Rio: I know I didn't make you and I did the same kind of thing but it still makes me sad Rio: we thought we were doing the right thing at the time Buster: It's alright, we're doing the right thing now Buster: Finally Buster: And I'm so happy Buster: More than I ever reckoned I would or could be, like Rio: Good Rio: Me too Rio: I finally feel like I'm on the right path again Buster: Plus, I did learn plenty of shit from all those girls who weren't you Rio: Not untrue Rio: even if I hate them all irrationally for it but you know Buster: I love how possessive you get of me Rio: I can't help it Rio: I'm just so yours that the idea of you not being mine Buster: It's the hottest thing Buster: That you're all mine and how much you wanna be Rio: Don't need the collar to own me Rio: It's always Rio: that's why I let you ink me Buster: I saw mine at school earlier and it was so distracting 'cause I was already thinking about you Rio: It's so good Rio: I bet your School would throw a shitfit if they saw, even though you're 18 and literally about to leave Buster: Yeah Buster: Some of the professors try and tell you how to have your hair still Rio: So medieval Rio: if it weren't for the leg-up you'll get and the fantasies I do, honestly, what a waste of time Buster: Literally, this girl's blonde went a slightly green somehow, fuck knows, and they sent her home Buster: Such a scandal Rio: As if a bad dye-job isn't shaming enough Rio: Ridiculous, though lucky she's there at all, only 'cos the feminists forced 'em, like Buster: Honestly Buster: But at least half of the school are the kind of posh cunts that think tattoos are only for poor people so Rio: Be low-class with me, babe Buster: You know it Buster: I had to delete so many comments off my insta post, like Buster: Shut the fuck up Rio: I can imagine Rio: The ones I didn't catch, anyway Rio: Least you can cleanse your socials with fire when you leave Buster: Sorry my parents have more money than you and I'm gonna get better grades than you but my Grandparents would be classed as scum by you Buster: Ridiculous Rio: Sound like a deluded Ma tryna make you feel better but it literally is jealousy though Rio: soz you also have a chin 'cos you ain't inbred tory as fuck, like, that's the life you been dealt, the privilege'll ease the pain of being ugly Buster: 😂 My wife's smarter than all of you and she doesn't even go here, who do you lot reckon you are Rio: 😏 Rio: Fuck the lot of 'em Buster: I'm so ready to leave Buster: Actually can't wait Rio: Seriously Rio: Uni will be so much better Buster: Especially 'cause I ain't going to Havard Rio: Yeah Rio: odds on Trinity has some decent people Rio: not all 🤓 like you Buster: I'll take fewer posh cunts Buster: You're the only nerd I'm paying attention to, like Rio: Sweet talker Rio: and a lot of 'em will be Irish so really, how posh can they be? 🤷 Buster: 'Bout as posh as you, I'd reckon Buster: Am I gonna have to learn that as well as Portuguese? Rio: Rude Rio: but true, probably Posher if they ain't from the 24, like Rio: nah, no one actually speaks it properly Buster: I love you Buster: And it's a compliment Rio: Hmm Rio: Alright Buster: Believe me Rio: You're cute Buster: So believe me Rio: I believe you meant it as one, babe Rio: Don't worry Buster: Now tell me you love me too Rio: I love you Rio: You fool Rio: I hope you don't lose your accent Buster: Unlikely since I haven't yet and I ain't lived in Cambs for ages Rio: Yeah but you only got posher with the move Buster: Shh Rio: It's hot Rio: like a disney villain Buster: 😂 Buster: Is that a fantasy from the list? Buster: Which princess do you wanna be in the roleplay? Rio: Hmm Rio: The list of brown princesses is so lacklustre Buster: You're such a good actress yeah? Create your own Rio: Or I'll just be that one you liked when you was a kid Buster: You know I didn't watch any of that shit Rio: 😏 Okay babe Buster: Come on Rio: I'm sure you only watched it 'cos Nance wanted to Rio: it's okay Buster: Lusting after the fairy godmother, like Buster: Let's not Rio: Stop 😂 Buster: The evil stepmother probably really got her going Rio: Poor Nance Buster: Let's chance the subject immediately Buster: g* Rio: What do you wanna talk about? Buster: You Rio: Oh sure, my favourite subject, like Buster: Mine too Buster: So tell me something Rio: Can you be a little more specific Buster: I haven't been gone long, but what have I missed? Buster: Give me the highlights babe Rio: Okay, lemme think Buster: While you I'm just gonna say it Buster: Not a princess, but Tinkerbell had that possessive vibe going on, and you know I like that Buster: Okay Rio: Oh Rio: That works on so many levels, Wendy was such a posh bitch Buster: Yeah exactly Buster: Sorry, carry on, I just had to get that off my chest, like Rio: I mean, very distracting thought but we'll come back to it Rio: just taking endless pregnancy tests, keeping Indie busy but outta trouble Rio: shooting, the usual really Buster: You're telling me, it ain't my fault you're so small you're actually fairy sized but you know Buster: How many tests have you done? Rio: I bought 10 Rio: I knew it had to be at least a week after so I had to wait but I did waste a couple 'cos I couldn't Buster: Babe Buster: You're so cute Buster: None of them were negative, right? Rio: I wanted to be sure Rio: yeah, they were all positive Buster: It's okay, I'm excited too Rio: I'm really excited Buster: I can't stop smiling, look Buster: [Sends selfie] Rio: Baby Rio: Your smile is my favourite thing to see Buster: Well, good 'cause I mean it so you're gonna see loads more of it for the next 9 months Rio: You're precious Rio: Nothing but good news from here on out, yeah? Buster: Yeah Buster: Everything's gonna work out perfectly for us, baby Rio: It is Rio: us and our baby Buster: We need to give it a nickname until we can actually name it Buster: It sounds weird calling it that, it Rio: Yeah Rio: Hmm Rio: You're better at nicknames than me Buster: I'm thinking Rio: What about anjinho Rio: if I teach you to say it Buster: If that means what I think it does then yes Rio: Yeah Rio: Little 👼 Buster: We have to, 'cause it's yours and gonna be just like you Rio: and yours and you Buster: You're gonna make me cry, I was smiling a second ago Buster: I'm not supposed to be the hormonal one Rio: It would be just like you to have an empathy pregnancy Rio: drama queen 😏 Buster: Fuck off Buster: I'm never dramatic Rio: Literally a dramatic response Buster: 😂 Buster: Fine, sometimes, I'm slightly dramatic Rio: It's alright, I like it about you Rio: can't be the only extra one, like Buster: Oh fuck, it's genetic Buster: Our poor baby Rio: No hope 😂 Buster: Shh Buster: Maybe it'll skip a generation Rio: It'll have a big enough ego to deal with it if not Buster: Yeah Rio: Don't worry Rio: whatever they are, we're gonna love them, yeah? Buster: 'Course Buster: I already do Rio: Me too Buster: What's next after the blood test? Rio: They'll hopefully tell us but I know you have like, at least 10 checkups with your first Rio: scan at 12 weeks Rio: Can find out about the classes and shit when you're here permanently Buster: Yeah that's when they'll hopefully figure out if its twins or not Buster: I'm gonna have to do all the classes Rio: I know you do screenings at roughly 10 to make sure everything is okay so Rio: it won't be long to wait Buster: Do you think we should plan a party or some shit so we can just tell everyone all at once? Rio: Could do, could make it easier Rio: or like, literal hell will break loose Buster: Option 2 sounds well more likely Buster: Maybe we should just tell our parents first and let them do the honors? Rio: I'm assuming my mother's intuition will kick in and she'll be in the know Rio: Probably amazed I got to this age without any, like Buster: I'll let her tell mine for me then 'cause she's gonna kill me Rio: Yeah Rio: Gonna hope she won't fight a pregnant lady Rio: wait 'til the kid is out, tah Buster: You'll be fine Buster: I was the one who told her not long ago that kids were in the way future Rio: Shit Rio: I mean Rio: it's too late now Buster: Yeah, but she's gonna think I lied Rio: I wish you'd had this angst earlier Buster: It's not Buster: Don't Rio: Well, she's gonna have to get used to it Rio: I can't do anything about it now, I won't Buster: Baby, don't get upset Buster: I'm sorry Rio: It's okay, I just can't start stressing about what everyone is gonna say and think Rio: if I make that my priority instead of the baby I'm gonna be miserable and do a shit job taking care of it Buster: Forget I said anything, okay Rio: I'm not trying to be unhelpful to you Rio: but I can't, not yet Rio: no one needs to know, it doesn't need to be ruined Buster: It won't be ruined anyway Buster: I won't let it Buster: What I care about most is you and the baby, it always will be Buster: Whatever anyone says and thinks Buster: It's us that matters Rio: Good Rio: I know that baby, I promise Buster: I love you more than anything Buster: And I want this baby more than anything Buster: Don't forget that Rio: I won't Rio: I love you too, Buster Buster: And don't worry Buster: I can handle my mum, or anything else Buster: You don't need to Rio: I'm gonna be there for you though Buster: Priorities, babe Buster: You have to grow this kid for us Rio: You're still my priority too Rio: Always will be Buster: I know but I'll be fine Buster: Look after him for me, 'cause he needs it more Buster: And yeah, I've decided I want a boy too, sue me babe Rio: Okay baby Rio: I'll look after your son Buster: Why is it so hot when you say it? Buster: Fucking hell Rio: Gonna have to get used to it before he's old enough to be embarrassed by our antics, babe Buster: Help me. Say it again Rio: I just can't wait 'til your son gets bigger and starts kicking and moving around Rio: imagine now excited you're gonna be then, babe Buster: Shit Buster: I never even thought about that Buster: I'll be able to feel him too Rio: Yeah babe Rio: You might even see him, which is admittedly, a bit freaky Rio: but kinda cool too Rio: Gus was always booting ma that hard, it was a madness Buster: Oh my god Buster: That's gonna hurt though, yeah? Rio: I don't think it's much in comparison to the main event so you know Rio: you probably killed your ma Buster: I'm trying not to think about that Buster: And yeah, we made her so sick as well Buster: Sorry mum Buster: I reckon you'll know if we're having twins way before they tell you Rio: Least if I am she can just be all knowing and evil about my suffering, like Rio: might calm her Buster: True Rio: Not saying that's point no. 1 but you know Buster: Do you really think your mum will figure it out? Rio: Yeah Rio: Maybe not yet but idk Rio: she's got a nose for that shit, seen it enough times, I guess Buster: Weird Rio: 😂 Rio: When I start vomming all the time but refusing a drink, it won't take a genius, like Buster: I know Buster: I just Rio: What? Buster: I don't wanna share this with them all Rio: Yeah Rio: I get it Rio: I don't think she'll make an announcement for me Rio: it's still our thing Buster: I'm being unfair, aren't I? Rio: No Rio: just cute Buster: You're just being nice Rio: I am not Rio: such a 😈 you'll see Buster: Yeah? Buster: What are you gonna do? Rio: I said you'll see Rio: patience, baby boy Buster: Those are stalling tactics Buster: I knew you were too much of a 😇 Rio: 😖 Rio: Don't Rio: First Indie calls me uncool, now you, so rude Buster: I'm not calling you uncool, I'm calling you a good girl Buster: And I'm motivating you, babe Rio: Hmm Buster: You know it's working Buster: Don't act like you're not even more determined to be bad now Rio: You're not always right, you know 😒 Buster: I'm not trying to come for your title Buster: I'm just right about this Buster: Prove me wrong about how good you are baby, I know you want to Rio: I will Rio: answer your phone