#but now with the pandemic I'm afraid to go do stuff for all new reasons.

[exculis]

Do you guys think its possible that im creatively stifled because I have no real experiences and have essentially sat in the same room for 20 years only leaving to go to school or have a series of panic attacks bevause I am unsocialized like a feral dog. Do you think that might have anything to do with it.

[illegalmushrooms]

shrooooms, the kids miss uu where art thou 😭

... hey!

(incoming yap session, beware)

This is a little awkward. I haven't touched my Tumblr in like, apparently three years. There's some questions in my inbox, but they're so old it feels a bit strange to answer them now, right? 😭

Anyway. It's nice to see you! Whoever you may be! (Are the kids OK?)

Last week, for god knows what reason, I re-donned my mushroom hat (humor me for a moment and imagine a Mario Toad-style monstrosity) and published a new (old) chapter of Don't Leave! (y'all remember that? Does anyone reading this right now remember or know who I am??).

Laying off the parentheses now--I explained in the chapter a bit of the future of the story and what was happening with me. Oh my gosh, is that a conveniently-placed link to the chapter down below?

As I mentioned somewhere in that conveniently-placed link, I'm mostly fine, and there's nothing else I have written for Don't Leave! so far.

Well...

Okay, so that's a complete and utter lie. I do have something written. But I'm afraid it's not very useful.

I actually wrote... a complete, very dramatic ending to the story. It's an interesting ending, to say the least, but of course, the story is nowhere near that point. I'd have to write another thirty-forty-who knows more chapters or something to even reach this supposed ending, and by then I might not even like the idea I have there.

I guess that's not relevant. I suppose the point I'm trying to make is that I never, ever, forgot about Don't Leave! I've thought about it a lot, even when I haven't been writing a single word. I've been reading every comment and message I received across the different platforms, and you know, smiling stupidly at my phone every time. I've totally missed the world of fanfiction! I've missed Bella, the ridiculous character I conjured up within the depths of pandemic-era isolation! I've missed sitting down at my laptop and tap-tapping away and sinking into this wonderful world Togashi made!

So here's what I'm going to say about the story. (This post just gets longer and longer, doesn't it? Sorry!)

As of right now, there is no next chapter.

I can't say when there might be a next chapter.

I can say that maybe, life-permitting, I'll post something in the fall, if I can squeeze in some time to rewatch HxH. I've just... forgotten a lot of the go story's intricacies that an author has to keep in mind to write a comprehensible fic.

That's what I have to say about Don't Leave! .

(and, to anyone who might be thinking of those other fics I wrote, which I highly doubt anyone is... I actually have a few chapters of them simmering in my docs somewhere. But I'm a bit embarrassed about it, so let's consider them dead for the moment, alright?)

Now that I've cleared that up, and some of my conscience along with it, I suppose I'll drop in a tiny life update for any curious souls. I've never disclosed much about myself and I'd like to consider myself awful cool and mysterious, but can I speed run certain vague life events from my past three years?

I... survived a car crash, travelled to new countries and places, moved, wrote a ton (fanfic and general fiction, all of it kind of ass), survived a fire, worked and toiled to the capitalist machine, had a couple mental breakdowns, conquered the mental health, lost it again, conquered again...

...and so on...

What's next for me?

I am hesitant of publishing anything else at the moment. I have a lot of fics I'd written just sitting in my files; everything from miscellaneous anime stuff to Harry Potter to this one reallllly odd story about isekai-ing into Minecraft, of all things. (I actually kind of like that one. Don't know if there's an audience for that kind of thing, though). My writing has absolutely improved since those admittedly rough early chapters of DL (I am ASTOUNDED it ever gained the little audience that it did) but there's still an anxiety I have about sharing my work. Silly, yes, but that's that.

For right now, I have the new DL chapter, I have this long-ass update post, and I have my genuine appreciation.

Much love to anyone who might still care. <3

Until next time?

Illegal Mushrooms

[truly-hopeless]

Honest Question About A Fic

So not too long ago, while at work, I was thinking about a story of mine that I haven't updated in almost two years. The story is titled "I Move the Stars For No One," which is a retelling of Rumpelstiltskin with L/Light Yagami as the main ship that I started writing after reading other LawLight fairy tale rewrites, namely eleonoraw's Merman and Totoroto's Snow Moon. It was my first story published to AO3 near the beginning of the pandemic and was my first LawLight fic. It currently sits unfinished at seven chapters (there was an eighth, a scrapped prologue, but I moved it to "The Dead Darling Graveyard" since it had little to do with the story) and was last updated December 2021. While I like parts of the current version (such integrating other fairy tales into the story since I'm a sucker for that kind of thing), I feel dissatisfied with the story for several reasons:

It's taking too long to get to the main conflict of the story (Beyond disrupting Light and L's arrangement and the two needing to find a way to stop that from happening) even without the long hiatuses and that smaller conflicts (L hiding he's a goblin from Light, Light feeling conflicted about what to do now that he's not going to be executed, and Misa's jealousy) are getting resolved too easily.

The story barely resembles Rumplestiltskin at all. Sure, it was always going to be a different story from the original fairy tale since the protagonists' identities and circumstances that make them desperate enough to ask a magical stranger for help and who they fall in love with are not the same (while the miller's daughter can definitely do better than the greedy king demanding she spin straw into gold on pain of death, never in a million years is she going to consider the man who demands she hand over her baby [presumably to eat it] in exchange for his help marriage material unless there is serious tweaking done to his character), it still feels off.

The main characters feel out of character. Light and L became too familiar too fast (even for a ship fic) and there's no real tension after L's deception is revealed and Light forgives him (too easily, I feel). And while I don't necessarily want to vilify Misa to add conflict (especially since I just complained about how awful the king in the original fairy tale was), she should be a little more unwilling to share Light with L (even if she is the one that gets to marry him) and push back more.

I just hate the title. It was taken from lyrics of a song from Labyrinth, but outside of L being the King of Goblins in this story and the memory-wiping peaches there's nothing in common with Labyrinth either; it could have been, if I wasn't afraid of adding more conflict and making L more dark grey when it comes to morality, but that wasn't what I wrote.

So I'm thinking about rewriting the story, to make it more in line with both the original fairy tale and in the spirit of LawLight. But that comes with it's own problems:

If you've been following me for any amount of time, you'll know that I'm not the most consistent when it comes to updating my stories; it could be anywhere between a week to four months to a whole year before I update something due to a combination of burnout, stress when I think about how I'm almost thirty and nothing in my life is coming together, and being distracted by other story ideas. Speaking of...

I have too much shit going on as is when it comes to writing. I was tagged for that WIP ask game a few weeks ago, where I had to list out all the stuff I've been working on. The list has 31 drafts and I found out today that I still forgot to list a couple (not going back to change it now) and then there are ideas that play out in my head during work or when I'm trying to sleep that I haven't brought myself to write down because I am trying to keep the new WIPs to a minimum.

I have yet to finish a long story (I have the same problem as the protagonist from Dave Made a Maze: I start all these projects, but never finish them) and will feel slightly guilty for abandoning yet another one, even if it's for the sake of a rewrite instead of abandoning it altogether and trying to forget they exist like the stories on my FFN account.

So what should I do?

[konniesreality]

Hi Konnie! I am fairly new to the manifestation/law of attraction community, I've been using subliminals on and off again for about five years but that's pretty much it.

I'm sending you this ask in hopes for some advice. I am starting school on August 29th and as of right now, I am going to be doing school online. I really don't want to do school online, I really want to go back to in person school. I'm going to be a senior this school year and this is my last chance to go to actual high school. I've been doing school online ever since the pandemic first shut everything down and ever year I was told "maybe next year" when it came to going into in person school, yet it never happened.

I don't mean to sound ungrateful here. I know that I am lucky to be able to do school from home when many aren't but it's just not for me. I want to experience high school, even if it's just for one year. I want to see my old friends again, friends I haven't been able to see since before school shut down all the way in 2020. I don't want to spend my days sitting down at home while everyone I used to know is out having fun and socializing.

My mom has her reasons for not wanting me to go back. First of all, she's pretty conservative and doesn't like some of the stuff that is being taught in schools as of right now and she doesn't trust teachers/school staff in general. She also doesn't think school is a very safe place right now even though I live in a pretty good area. I also have type 1 diabetes and she feels like it can be better managed at home, even though there's not much of a difference between how I would have to take care of myself at home vs at school. She doesn't like the supposed commute of taking me to school, even though the school is like five minutes away from our house. I was a little troubled in middle school because I got mixed up with the wrong type of people and made some poor descions and got bullied.

Mostly I think the way she is thinking is based off her high school experience. From what she's told me, she ended up dropping out of high school in the 11th grade because she had no friends at school. I think she's afraid that I may have the same experience but I feel like she should be glad that I actually want to go to school. I know all her reasons for wanting me to stay home are valid and while I love my mom a lot, I feel like she is too controlling. It's like she wants me to stay with her for the rest of my life. She told me I could go to in person community college classes this year because I only have two classes to take for high school and then when it was time to sign up for classes, I ended up with having to take online college classes. She's against me getting a job but wants me to take over her job working for my grandfather so she can go get another job that pays better. She's always telling me that many kids don't ever move out of their parents' house and I feel like she's trying to install the idea into my head that I should never leave. I don't have any plans to leave my mom, I just want some freedom and independence. I am 17 years old and I still feel like she treats me like a child.

Sorry for ranting but I just think that having some context may help with giving advice.

I was wondering if it was possible for me to manifest going back to in person school. I found a subliminal on YouTube that is for going back to inperson school and I'm going to use it starting tonight. I just don't know if the subliminal alone is enough for me to be able to go, seeing that I have about a month and a half before school starts again and as of right now, my mom believes that I am going to stick with online school. Plus I should probably know a month before school starts if I'm going to in person school so I can prepare to have a good school year.

I know this is kind of last minute but I really want to go back, it's the main thing I've wanted for the past three years. Is there anything else I can do to ensure that I will go back to my in person high school or do you think adding the subliminal I told you about to my playlist is enough? I know it's not good to obsess over results but I just want to know this is all right so I can manifest going back. I'm hoping once I get some advice that I'll stop obsessing and relax.

I'm sorry this is so long but if you have any answers or advice for me then I'd love to here it! Have a great day!

-Rose 🌹

I think the subliminal in your playlist is enough. Remember all you need to do is assume and assumptions create reality you can go to sleep and wake up having everything that you want and remember it is OK to doubt because you will get your desires and it will happen so stop worrying about what you don’t have and start focusing on the fact that you do have them and then when you wake up you’ll have everything that you want 💗

[littlemissunrequitedlover]

I think I'm finally over her. That best friend I couldn't admit I was in love with back when we were still friends. She stopped talking to me in February 2023. It's now almost April 2024. I guess it took me a long time to process. But I finally threw away two things, little tokens of the time we spent together. It could just be that I'm feeling a little manic. And decided to reorganize my whole room today and came across these things and new they needed to be thrown away. But it also feels like a big step in the right direction for healing from these past few years. I mean I had known this girl since 2018 and I considered her my best friend. I really loved her. But she just stopped talking to me over a year ago. And I still have no idea why. I almost wanted to text her today. Which is something, I haven't wanted to do in a long time. Just to ask for an explanation. To ask for closure. But I'm afraid. Afraid of what she'll say. The reason she'll give. Was our friendship ending all my fault? If so I have no idea how. I mean I know I am at least half responsible. I was pissed, feeling like she didn't value our relationship at all. She was always skipping plans and not responding to my texts. I posted stuff on instagram about how friends turn into strangers because even before she really stopped talking to me that's how it felt. She posted a tiktok about how free she felt when she no longer people pleased. I was offended. When had she ever had to please me? She never even tired for me it felt like. Now idek. When she stopped texting me back in Feb 2023 I blocked her on everything, even the phone number. She could send me a letter like we did in the pandemic or for fun sometimes. If she really wanted to contact me. But she didn't. So I unblocked the phone number. At least I think I had now I've lost it. No idea what hers is becuase I have deleted so much but not our photos. I'm not willing to lose that price of us, I may never be. Last I saw she had regrown her hair and died it red. She's wearing it wavy now. And she was on the beach. She's beautiful. What was so wrong with me? Why did she stop texting? I mean even before I posted those quotes on Instagram. Why was she always flaky? Am I borning? I've been told it once or twice. But screw me, as a previous victim of domestic violence I don't want drama, I want friendships and hangouts to be peaceful, calm. Why did she stop being my friend? What was it about me? Was it becuase I told her I might want kids? Becuase I told her if I found the right person I'd have them in the next few years? I'm not getting any younger and my mom always told me she had me too late in life. I no longer even want to have kids now but I know she had a pregnancy phobia maybe that scared her. What did I do to deserve not knowing and hanging with anyone my age? Why doesn't anyone want to be my friend? Am I so awful? When did she know she was done with me? When did she know oh I'm not speaking to her anymore? Was it because I was depressed? Was it because I quit that job and was unemployed for a couple months? That shouldn't have affected our friendship I didn't live with her, and I never needed money or anything from her other than company. Was it because I took a break from school? Stopped going to the same university as her? Was it because I told her I didn't trust that chaotic person she was hanging out with? Was it because I said I would no longer like to be around them? I just want to know why? Because all my brain keeps telling me is it was becuase I suck. Do I deserve to be alone?

[myheelsdontmatchmysweatpants]

This is my first collab fic and I could not be more excited! I'm so thankful that I can be part of the group!

The AU for this month was Sex Work. The Masterlist for this collab can be found here. Please take some time to check out everyone's contributions! There are other fics and amazing art!

That being said here is my fic, big BIG shout out to @doinmybesthere for being an amazing beta reader and sweet angel bb. ily Emme!

Please please please read the warnings. They are there for a reason!

Warnings: consensual noncon, mentions of being burnt, stabbing and blood; no prep penetration, disrespectful use of the word "whore", blackmail, psychological abuse?, Mineta (nuff said) he gets what's comin to him

You’re in the doctor’s office getting a regular checkup when you overhear the nurses in the station next to you talking.

“Look! They posted the new hero rankings today.”

“I forgot those were today, too bad they can’t have the conference during the pandemic. I miss seeing Deku all cute and blushing.”

“FUCK” In your brief moment of panic you forgot where you were. You cringe and look at the nurses, trying your best not to look like you were gonna be sick. “Sorry ladies, didn’t mean to yell.” No point in offering an explanation. You wouldn’t be able to tell them anything anyway.

As you very impatiently wait for your blood results to come back you check the tacky red cell phone you have to keep with you at all times. You had put it on silent since you were in the doctor’s office and you were glad you did. Taking a quick look at your screen had your stomach dropping into your ass.

M.M: Gonna move my appointment up to today.

M.M: You better get ready. I’m not happy.

M.M: I’m sure you saw the postings. Number 36.

M.M: I made sure to pay for any accidents in advance.

M.M: I’ll see you tonight.

Why does he have to be so fucking horrible? Accidents my ass.

The messages make your skin crawl, you should have figured the hero rankings would piss him off but honestly you never paid enough attention. With a heavy sigh you opened up your web browser and pull up the list.

“Number 36...number 36…. Number 36…” When you finally reached the hero you were looking for, you let out a sigh.

Hero Ranking Number 36: The Rainy Season Hero Froppy

Well at least you had her outfit already, for some reason she was one your client asked for a lot. Not that you wanted to ask him why, not with the way his black eyes looked whenever he saw you dressed up like her.

I don’t know if I should feel glad that he isn’t actually taking this out on her. Or upset that I’ve had to deal with this for months.

“L/N, Y/N?” The doctor walks up holding their clipboard and closing the privacy screen. Your file almost too much for the metal clip at the top. “Your test results came back negative and your burns seem to have healed very well. I would tell you that any strenuous activity should be avoided but we both know you can’t do that.”

Their poor attempt at humor had your stomach rolling. “Haha anyways Doc, I think I’m gonna need another medkit to take home today. I can schedule my next appointment online, right?”

You can’t handle the thinly veiled pity in their eyes and look down, reaching over to your side to grab your purse. You hear them moving around and a dark blue plastic box is put on your lap.

“If I remember correctly this is your favorite color, right? You are able schedule an appointment online but if you would like I can schedule it for you. How about in two days? Afternoon work for you?”

You look up after clutching the kit to your chest, you know they are just trying to be nice. All of the nurses are especially nice to you and as endearing as it might be to some people, to you it just feels dirty.

“Afternoon is perfect, thanks Doc.” You get up and walk towards the privacy screen. Before leaving you stop for a moment “Blue ismy favorite color.”

As you make your way back to your living quarters you scroll through the internet looking at every picture of the Pro-Hero Froppy you can find. Your quirk can project a person’s desires onto your body by reading them in their eyes. It’s easier when the person has a clear view of what or who they want. However, your client’s desires are such a jumbled mess that it’s easier if you know what it is beforehand.

Hopefully, I can act like her enough that I don’t have to look at his desires this time. I can’t stand how disgusting they make me feel.

You pass by a few familiar faces on your way back to your rooms but don’t pay them any mind. They in turn leave you alone, most of them knowing that when you have that look on your face you were in a mood.When you first were offered a position at the brothel you thought it would be easy money. You had been stripping for several years, known for how you looked different to everyone who saw your dancing. The beautiful, enchanting, flexible Erised. You had built up your quirks ability to be able to project almost a full clubs worth of desires. Sure, it caused extreme fatigue and chronic migraines but the money you raked in was well worth it.

A few months ago

After an especially successful night a patron walks up to you after you leave the stage.

“I have a job opportunity for you, courtesy of my employer.” He hands you a card you read “Heroes Consulting Agency” in bold silver letters.

“I’m a stripper hun, not sure I can do the type of consulting you’re looking for.” You go to hand it back, but they put their hand up.

“I’m afraid I must insist, why don’t we treat you to lunch and you can listen to our proposal?”

You put your hand back down and study them. They are dressed in a white button up with a vest, definitely out of place in a strip club. You would look in their eyes, but they didn’t really have any, their whole body seemed to be made of dark smoke. You don’t work in the nicest of places so someone with their kind of full body quirk isn’t unusual.

“Alright, I give. I’m not really one to pass up free food.” The rational side of your brain is telling you that you have more than enough money to buy your own food but the stingy part telling you to take it while you can is a little louder.

“Excellent choice Miss Erised. Someone will meet you at the address on that card tomorrow at around 5pm? Should give you enough time to recover from the side effects of your quirk.” They give a slight bow and walk off towards the exit, a large something getting up from a seat and following closely behind.

Sam, one of the waitresses walks up to you with a tray filled with drinks. Her normally short stature elevated with high heeled leather boots. “Did you know that person Y/N?”

Oh man, I do not have the energy for this.

You turn to her and survey the tray before grabbing something that looked like a fruity cocktail. “No, but they offered me a job. Gonna go have lunch with them tomorrow.” Sipping from the glass you tuck the card into your bra, making sure to not show it to the girl.

“That’s weird, don’t they know you’re a stripper? What is someone dressed that nicely want to hire you for? Also did that person look familiar to you or is that just me?” Any normal person wouldn’t be able to keep up with her unending questions, but you had known her for years. The tray in her hands tips dangerously to the left but she balances it out without a second thought.

Guess she does have to be quick on her toes to be a waitress at a strip club.

“They were here for my dance so yes they do know, either way I’m getting free food so…”

She huffs, aware of your attitude for anything “free”.

You finish the drink and place the empty glass back taking a couple bills from your bag and tucking them into her apron.

“Thanks for the drink Sam, but I gotta leave before my headache hits.” You walk off before she can say anything further. You really wanna be nice to her but her endless energy really gets on your nerves sometimes.

By the time you make it to your modest apartment, you can feel the pain starting behind your eyes. You drop your stuff by the door without turning on any lights and walk to the box safe hidden in the kitchen. After you make sure all the money is secure you grab a glass of water and head to the bedroom. The bottle of pain killers already set out on your nightstand. You should really take a shower but for now, you strip down, take a few pills, drink the whole glass of water, and lay down. It takes a while for the pills to kick in but once they do you finally fall asleep.

When you finally wake up the next morning your headache is gone, and you have to piss like no one’s business. You grumble as you stretch your tight sore muscles and get up to go to the bathroom. After taking care of business, you get into some light clothes and walk into the kitchen to make some food. Thankfully, you had some leftover rice and spam in the fridge, so you pop that in the microwave. You put the kettle on for some green tea and down another glass of water as it heats up.

Remembering the offer from yesterday and the promise of free food you pad over to your pile of things by the door and grab their card. It’s sleek looking with a plain black background and silver lettering. The address isn’t something you recognize right away so you look it up on your phone.

“What the fuck?” Why is this place in a business park?

You scroll down and check the street view; the building is a high rise surrounded by a mostly empty parking lot. The entrance of the building is blurred, probably to keep the privacy of anyone entering or exiting.

“Well, I guess it’s a nice gig. Better dress the part.” Or maybe you’re gonna get murdered.

“Wow, I really have to stop watching all those true crime shows.” You put the card in your wallet and head back to the kitchen. The microwave beeps and the kettle whistles shortly after. When you’re done eating you put the dishes in the sink to soak and head to the bathroom to finally take a shower.

By the time you have finished showering the whole bathroom is filled with steam and your body has a pink flush to it. You open the door to air it out and finish cleaning up for the day. Your outfit consists of your nicest jeans with ankle boots, a long sleeve blouse and a dark cardigan. You grab one of your smaller over the shoulder purses and leave your apartment.

One of the things you allowed yourself to really splurge on was a car. Public transportation was not as reliable as it could be and with your hours not the safest either.

By the time you make it to the building the sun is starting to set, giving the sky beautiful pink to blue coloring. As you park and get out of your car a young woman walks up to you.

“Welcome Miss Erised! Please follow me and I will escort you through the building.” The woman’s blonde hair is in two messy buns, her face childlike. Her voice was high pitched enough to grate on your nerves a bit, but you ignored it.

As you follow the person through the lobby you take a glance around. Looks like a high-end hotel lobby. There is a front desk area with a marble counter top, women that are dressed in matching button ups with their hair up in buns or ponytails. Random potted plants and small trees dot the area, and a nice chandelier hangs in the middle of the ceiling. No one besides the women at the front desk are in the area.

“Doesn’t seem to be busy right now.” You didn’t even really mean for her to hear you, but she did, and you sounded like an asshole.

They turn their head slightly with a knowing smirk. “It would seem that way wouldn’t it?”

Conversation halts while you stand in the elevator which you were thankful for. They had chosen a floor close to the middle of the building, which gave you just enough time to rethink your life choices.

By the time you got to your floor you are tired of the silence. Normally you hate small talk, but you figured you would give it a shot. “Do you like your job?”

The woman turns to you and smiles, here canines peeking out a bit while shrugging her shoulders. “It keeps me busy, plus I get to make so many friends.” The gleam in her eyes flashes menacingly for a quick second, you decide to pretend you didn’t see it.

As you get to the end of the hall, she opens a door and gestures you inside, closing it behind you. There is a nice desk to the left of the door, other than that the room is sparce. The person sitting in the chair has quite an eclectic look about him. Grey hair parted to the side, shrew eyes behind circular wire rimmed glasses, a gold chain peeks out from the slightly open white button up with a purple blazer. He reeks of cigarette smoke the evidence of his habit tossed into the half-filled ash tray on the desk.

“So nice of you to join me Miss Y/N. Why don’t you have a seat, we can talk about your new position.” He gestures to the only other chair a smirk on his face that shows of his missing tooth.

“I haven’t accepted the job yet Giran, and I thought I told you I don’t want to work for you.” You aren’t used to seeing him in this type of place. But you do know him so there is no need to put on a show. You lean back in the chair and cross your arms.

“How rude of me, you won’t be working for me, but I have been given authority to hire for this company.”

You don’t bat an eye; most large companies use outside help for hiring. “What is this position you would like offer me?”

“This company provides heroes with a way to alleviate their… desires in a safe and discrete way.”

“So, you hire prostitutes for heroes to have sex without worrying about anyone telling the press about it.”

“That is correct.”

“I don’t know if your just stupid or if you forgot but I’m a stripper not a hooker.” You sit up in your chair fully ready to leave the room.

“They would provide you with a fully furnished apartment, medical coverage with 24/7 access to their fully trained medical staff. Any cash given to you by your clients you can keep, however they would take a percentage out of the money they initially pay for your services.”

“Let’s say I’m a little interested, how much is the initial pay for my services?” You want to deny the offer, nothing wrong with having sex for money but it isn’t really your thing.

Giran doesn’t answer right away, instead putting out what is left of his cigarette only to pull another one out of his blazer and lighting it up. “The starting hourly rate is $2,500 an hour, they would take 30 percent from that.”

Holy shit, that’s as much as I make in a day and I would be making it an hour? You keep your face neutral but something in your eyes must have tipped him off.

“You would start tomorrow; most clients keep a contract with their favorite employee and we actually have someone lined up for you already. He has extremely specific tastes and you are the perfect person to fill in.”

“I’ll have to talk to the club owner; would it be possible to start later?” You don’t want to seem to eager, especially not in front of him.

“I don’t see that as a problem, they can give you one week but that’s it.”

You stay silent, making it look like you’re thinking about it. After a moment you lean forward in your chair and stick your hand out. “Sounds like a deal to me.”

Giran grabs you hand and gives it a firm shake. “If you ever need help or have any questions call the number on the card. Now I believe you were offered dinner, let me take you to one of my favorite places.”

You let his hand go and rise from the chair. As Giran comes around the desk and walks towards the door, he stops for a moment and turns to you. “Welcome to the team.”

Dinner was actually genuinely nice; the food was good, and you were able to have a comfortable conversation with Giran. Of course, he didn’t tell you anything about himself, but you had no problems with that, you didn’t wanna share anything to personal about yourself either. He dropped you back off at your car after dinner and shook your hand again before driving off.

By the time you got home you had decided what you were gonna tell the club owner and mentally packed your apartment. Not wanting to take all of your things you moved most of it to a secure storage facility. Having had it for a few years already in order to store the overabundance of clothes you owned.

After the week was up you had quit your job and packed all of your belongings. You realize you don’t know where you are supposed to go so you pull out the card and call the number.

“Hello, how can I assist you?”

“Giran never told me where I would be moving my stuff to. Could you give me the address?” You pick at your nails while waiting for him to answer.

“Of course, Miss Erised. Will you be needing any assistance for your move?”

He sounds so polite; I wonder if he is always like this.

“No, I’ll be fine on my own thank you.”

He gives you the address and let you know that you can call if you need any additional information.

“Good luck Miss Erised.”

When you get back to your apartment you immediately go into the shower and wash up, using the tea tree oil that Froppy had said she uses in an interview.

I don’t understand how people can like this stuff, but he gets easier to handle if I smell like those women.

When you are done you towel dry your hair and make sure to lotion your whole body. When your hair is dry enough you straighten it and leave it down. He likes it better when its down.

You go to your closet and rifle through until finding the very skimpy version of Froppys hero costume. All it really has in common with the original is the tan harness and the green with black and yellow stripes. Otherwise, it is a one-piece bikini without a crotch. You grab your black leather over the knee boots and get dressed. After checking the time, you give yourself a moment to mentally prepare.

I hate this, I hate him. Disgusting filthy little bug. A false hero, a plague. I can’t wait to leave this place.

Standing in the middle of your room you close your eyes and take deep breaths, allowing your consciousness to drift. You have found that the best way to endure these sessions is to detach yourself from the situation. Only focusing on the absolute necessary and maintaining the effects of your quirk. Giving yourself another minute to get into character you walk to the door joining your apartment to the “service room”.

Thankfully, he hasn’t shown up yet, you shut the door hearing the lock click into place, the door seamlessly vanishing into the wall. Sitting on the edge of the bed you face the door that Mineta will walk through and wait.

No matter how many times we do this I never lose the feeling of wanting to vomit while bathing in bleach.

When he walks in you see that he is wearing his hero costume, as atrocious as it is. He never really deviated from the original design. You immediately start your performance.

“Mineta? What am I doing here? kero” You clasp your hands together in front of your chest and look around frightfully.

“Hello Tsu, what a pleasant surprise to see you here.” He walks up, taking off his gloves and throwing them to the side.

“I don’t understand, do you know where- “Your sentence is cut off, pain in your cheek sharp and hot.

“I don’t believe I gave you permission to talk Miss thirty sixth hero.” He stands there with his hand still up as you cup your cheek and look up at him, the tears in your eyes real. He pulls his hand back again as if to slap you and you flinch.

“Good girl, now finish taking off my outfit for me.” Mineta walks back a few steps and holds his arms out. Your fingers are clumsy as you take it of piece by piece.

Mineta abruptly grabs a fist full of your hair and yanks your head back. You grab his hand with both of yours trying to ease his grip.

“Do you think if you do it slow enough, I’ll get bored and go away?” He pulls harder. “Huh? You really think you’re gonna get out of this don’t you.” He tosses you towards the bed and you scramble to get back on your feet.

The tears in your eyes have started to spill over and you start babbling. “Please let me go Mineta, I don’t know what I did but please pleasejust forgive me kero. I won’t tell anyone about this just please don’t hurt me kero.”

He doesn’t answer you, just finishes taking off his outfit before he is walking towards you again, a vicious gleam in his beady eyes.

You back up until the back of your legs hits the bed. You open your mouth to speak but before you can utter a single word, he slaps you again.

“I told you not to speak unless I told you to once already. Now I’m gonna have to punish you, aren’t I?” He shoves you onto the bed and follows, using his knees to push your legs open he sits up and gives himself a few pumps.” No need to prep you, I want this to hurt.”

You are sobbing at this point, your hands covering your face when you feel him push into you. A scream rips out of your throat and you reach forward to push him away.

“You know Tsu, these meetups have been the best. I’m thinking next time I will find the REAL you and have even more fun.” He closes his eyes a leans his head back, fully immersed in only getting himself off.

To engrossed in his own world, he doesn’t realize that you have gone still. Your tears have stopped, and you have pulled your hands back from him.

DISGUSTING

“Find the real me?”

VILE

You break character, bringing your full consciousness back. You voice is just a whisper at first, so he doesn’t hear you, doesn’t stop thrusting.

FALSE HERO

“Find the REAL me?!” You are screaming at him now.

He finally stops, hearing you the second time. For a second you see fear in his eyes before they fill with rage.

MONSTER

“Hey! You better start doing the job I paid you for, I don’t come here for you to question me.” He lifts his hand up, as if to slap you again. Before his hand comes down you grab it, squeezing until he yelps in pain.

This job is over, he isn’t worth keeping around anymore.

“You think I give a shit about a little piss ant like you?!” As you sit up, he yanks his arm away and pulls out of you. Stumbling back, he starts shaking a finger in your direction.

“You can’t talk to me like that! You’re just a whore!”

You dart forward before he can put more distance between you and grab him by the neck. As you pick him up you snarl and let your quirk fade away.

“I may be a whore but I not a monster like you. You are just a fake hero, a plague on this world and I will get rid of every single one of you.” You throw him onto the ground still holding on to his neck and squeeze.

“In other news, Minoru Mineta also known as the pro hero Grape Juice has gone missing after several videos of him have gone viral. He was last seen leaving a brothel that has requested to remain nameless. The videos contain triggering scenes of the pro hero having relations with a prostitute while she is dressed in various hero suits the resemble his old female classmates. He even refers to them by name. The videos contain triggering images, and it is recommended to not seek them out. The original videos have since been taken down but are reuploaded onto the internet on several other sites. The prostitute shown in the videos has also gone missing. Any information on the whereabouts- “

The T.V. turns off, the voice of the news anchor no longer filling the dimly lit bar. The people present remain silent for a moment before a man with burns all over his body starts to laugh.

“You could have really fucked that up Doll. Good thing we got enough evidence.” You sneer at him, making sure you change your appearance to match your own desire. He flinches when he sees his own face.

“I wish you had cut him! There wasn’t enough blood to keep his appearance up for awfully long!” The young woman with two messy blond buns in her hair twirls a knife around.

“I’m terribly sorry Toga, but I didn’t have anything sharp with me.” You pick at your nails and look over at Kurogiri, who is busy pouring a glass of whiskey for Dabi. “Do I get a break after this one or do you and boss man have another gig for me?”

[binaryaltar]

Complex feelings

Annnd... it's been so long since my last update.

Apparently the whole year of 2020 is crazy for everyone on the earth. Pandemic is still going on in nearly all countries, and as someone who lives the very few countries left not affected, it's still nasty to watch all travel bans every time some cases pop out in somewhere.

But...just like lots of earlier posts, the main reason I decide to update is...girl problem, again.

Actually last year was crazy for myself as well, as I was set up by former colleagues who were involved in some big case which shut down the previous company I worked, and I had to face - the law. Now looking back at the whole case, I'm not even able to tell if it's really justice, or just another a priori accusation synchonizing with some political movement/propoganda going on back then. Maybe I should thank pandemic, which delayed all kinds of processes and help me dodge the bullet in the end, staying away from punishment.

But because of this thing as well, I think I missed a girl last year because I'm just afraid that the possible bad record would be a disadvantage in taking furthur steps. So I was kinda evasive until my own bullet was finally dodged.

But it's just too late to go back.

So I'm updating it right now because last night my mom told me that that girl has recently found a new fella whose condition sounds so much better than mine. And all of a sudden I'm getting super emotional. And the feeling is...complex. Am I regretful? Or jealous？Or self-loathing? I have no fucking clue.

Come to think about it, it's hilarious because she's so far the only girl that knows things about video games. And I like video games. And she's tall, and active at the beginning while I have to be passive. And good diploma & job I think?

Damn, now when I look back, maybe that's just all chemistry there. Nothing more. Her looking is even not THAT good.

Well, being in the largest city in the world, I think I have to face the fact that probably all uber rich fellas can appear here. Nobody ever knows. Already looked for consult last night and the feedback is - get used to it.

This year I've been introduced to more girls, and after all dramatical shits cease, I do realize that all standards I've set for the future partner are just me being arrogant.

The one and the only standard that works is mutual attraction.

However I think most of the girls I've known so far are more arrogant to ever be active. Not sure if their conditions are better than mine, or they think they are. It's true that I may need some career breakthrough right now, and most assets I've got are just houses. But I honestly don't consider material stuff that much - I mean I still care to some point cos the base determines the superstructure, and my standard is actually above lots of girls' conditions including the game loving girl last year, as she was still renting with others while I'm moving into my own house, but it's not like I ever give shit on flamboyance or luxury.

I just wanna hide in the plain sight - so Aaron Burr of me to some point.

Now I just feel like I'm ridiculous to look for a spiritual fit rather than a material fit in a material world. Goddamn it maybe my ultimate career choice shall be a hermit.

So, after all the crazy talks above, I gotta say there are hopes ahead. There are 3 more girls in this month, and one of them is pretty active so far, as I've already been asked to go out together AGAIN this weekend after only meeting her once earlier this month.

And to be honest, I think it may be the end of all. Although she's a bit shorter than I expect, and her diploma doesn't matching mine (which now as I think of it, really doesn't matter at all. My current supervisor at work gets a worse diploma than mine, but I think he's great at work and clearly get lots of respect in my company), I don't really think there are more concerns. And she looks better than the girl last year. Ha!

Well, just let the water flow and see where it ends then.

[paradise-creator]

Okayyyy. Seatbelt on, space cadet! I'm gonna take you on a loooong journey ✨

First of all hello again! I'm here to request for a Haikyuu romantic Haven Box if there's still a spot left. Take your time tho, I'm good at waiting 🙌🏻

here we gooo. so I'm an 159cm pansexual asian girl. I'm a little bit on the chubby side. I got long black wavy hair and I always let it down. People say I look rude and cold so they are afraid to befriend me at first (some even hate me for no reason.) I mean its not my fault that I borned with this resting bih face 😭💔 I love wearing dark colored clothes, high waisted jeans and Sneakers.

I do wear makeup, and my favorite lipstick color is red. Like a really bold red. That's like my trademark.

for personality, I'm an enfp, taurus, gryffindor (big yikes!); I think I'm a pretty openminded person. I'm not afraid to speak up and I will fight (both using words and fists) for what I believe in. People see me as someone confident and to look up to; Tho honestly I'm pretty insecure with myself. Like I find nothing good about me and got depressed easily. Its like I have this happy clown persona everytime I'm outside my house and once I go back to my bedroom by myself its all the sad clown hours haha. ooh- this is getting kinda heavy. 😵 But anyway I care about my family and friends a lot. Their happiness is actually more important than my own. So I'd do anything to help and protect all of them.

My hobbies are sleeping, singing and watching horror movies/true crime documentaries; and yes I got scared after watching those stuff so I ended up searching for some broadway musical 😂😂 I also love to play games; otome games, cause my love life sucks *coughs*

Some facts about me!!

I believe in soulmate. Just the thought that we all have someone created specifically for us is making me happy 🥺❤

I'm a touch starved person. So I like doing skinship and PDA. I just love being spoiled and showered with love I guess 👉🏻👈🏻

I hate spicy foods, cause it really burns my throat. and I also hate lizards. They are gross and weird 😭😭

I believe ghosts are real and I'd definitely want to speak to them someday. Just asking them how does it feel to be a ghost? Is there a way to help em stop being a ghost? (Only with the nice ghost of course) 👻💕

My favorite song is Helpless by Phillipa Soo and if that doesn't show how much of a Hopeless romantic I am then idk 😂😂

I love watching tarot cards reading.

I'm a sucker for enemies to lovers trope and I can't stop this addiction. Like aaaaa its cliche but I love em so much ashdjflgl

Okay thats it! I need to stop talking before my ask give you some real headache 😂 I wish all this information helps you write a little bit and not bother you in one way or another!! Have a great day and stay healthy in this pandemic situation 🙌🏻✨ see yaaaaa~☆

↬ ──:.⃗➹ +.*༉‧ᵕ̈°`*↷. ೃ₊✎⸙͎˚- ̗̀✧: ──↫

┊         ┊       ┊   ┊    ┊        ┊       ┊         ⊹

┊  ⋆｡   ┊       ┊   ┊    ┊        ┊      ⋆｡˚. ੈ

┊         ┊ ⋆｡  ┊   ┊   ˚✩ ⋆｡˚  ✩

┊         ┊       ┊   ✫

┊         ┊       ☪︎⋆                                      ⋆✩

┊ ⊹     ┊                     ⋆｡˚. ੈ

✯ ⋆      ┊ .  ˚                                   ⊹

           ˚     ✩

Dream catcher loading...

ɴᴏᴡ ʟᴏᴀᴅɪɴɢ

□□□□□0%

■□□□□20%

■■□□□40%

■■■□□60%

■■■■□80%

■■■■□90%

■■■■■100%

*ﾟ ﾟ･ ✧.｡. *. •.°

┊┊┊┊           

┊┊┊☆                 

┊┊☁️　　

┊┊┊    

┊┊                  

┊☆　

┊┊       

☁️   

┊  

☁️

Hello and Welcome my Starlight!

The Haven box includes:

- Match up

- Sun drop

- Old habits die hard

-  No matter what

───✱*.｡:｡✱*.:｡✧*.｡✰*.:｡✧*.｡:｡*.｡✱ ───

I'd match you up with

Oikawa Tooru, The Grand King

───✱*.｡:｡✱*.:｡✧*.｡✰*.:｡✧*.｡:｡*.｡✱ ───

Sun drops

- Okay, when I read your description Oikawa popped in my head. So on to the great king we go!

- I also had an Oikawa brain rot when I decided to do your request but either way, I still think you two would look cute!

- Oikawa is the most realistic character in Haikyuu and I believe you two would definitely match

- You feel insecure? No worries, Oikawa already saw it coming and is going to give you compliments and gifts

- He may not look like it, but he is really observant

- You can't hide your feelings from this man cause he has been through that

- You both were deemed the power couple of the school

- He would ALWAYS always remind you to take care of yourself

- Both of you seem confident and really out going but in reality, you both are really insecure

- You both would understand each other

───✱*.｡:｡✱*.:｡✧*.｡✰*.:｡✧*.｡:｡*.｡✱ ───

Old habits die hard

- He almost NEVER calls you by common nicknames, except for Queen and princess

- Your nickname can be something weird like my little Alien or smth

- Whenever you watch a game, he alsyws gives you his extra jersey or his jacket

- He would randomly say I love you and if you don't respond, he'll pout

- You gave him a plushie and he named it after you

- Stargazing (Alien hunting) is his favorite type of date

- Study dates almost always ends up with one of you dead asleep before starting anything

───✱*.｡:｡✱*.:｡✧*.｡✰*.:｡✧*.｡:｡*.｡✱ ───

No matter what

Oikawa Tooru is the grand king of Seijoh. He was handsome, smart, and all that. He was very athletic and observant. He gets along with everyone and anyone. He could get any girl to swoon to him but he is only loyal to volleyball and Iwaizumi. And that’s what people thought, but this king has fallen off his throne. He, has fallen in love and doesn’t know what to do. It started with the little things like seeing how she loves skinship or how she hates spicy food. He thought it was normal, he was observant after all. But as time passes, he realized that he might be falling. He tried and tried to avoid it, knowing that it might just hurt him in the end anyway. He knew that he wasn’t going to be able to fulfil what was in her heart because he would always choose volleyball. Oikawa had a girlfriend once, she left him because he wasn’t good enough, and he didn’t give her enough of his time.

Oikawa did not want that to happen again. He didn’t want his heart torn into pieces yet again. But still, he fell deep into the rabbit hole called love. And he hated her for it, becoming her enemy for no reason at all. But, fate seemed to be in his side. Soon enough the “mortal nemesis” relationship faded away and love soon blossomed. It wasn’t as smooth as most people would say but it’s still a beautiful sight to behold. The way Oikawa looks at her with so much love and passion, it’s breathtaking. The way that she would cheer for him no matter what, it’s alluring. A love so pure that it seems surreal and impossible. From then on, the great king knew that she was thee one. He knew that even if he was too busy, she would understand. He knew that she would always be by his side no matter what the cost is.

And he knew that no matter what happens, he would always love her. Volleyball may be his priority, but he will soon get out of it. Slowly but surely, the walls he built was crumbling away. Slowly but surely, his distant exterior grows into an attached and close koala. Oikawa’s train of thought was then shattered as he heard someone calling out to him. “Oi Shittykawa, why the hell is your face like that?” Iwaizumi said as he cringed at the sight. “Geez Iwa-chan, can’t a guy think about his soulmate in peace?” He then responded as he glared at the shorter male. “We have a game to play, Stupidkawa. And if you miss her so bad, why don’t you go to her at the stands and talk to her?” Iwaizumi said as he glared intently at his best friend. “I have a better idea,” Oikawa said as he stood up. His eyes wandered around the bleachers to find his one and only. And soon enough, he was able to see her long black wavy hair and her beautiful eyes. “Princess!” He yelled.

The female then smiled and waved at the player adorning the cyan colors with the number one. “Yes, my prince?” She yelled back. “Oh! My darling Princess! I love you with all my heart and know that no matter what, I’ll still be in love with you,” He yelled. The stadium awed at the interaction. Oikawa now found his one and only, his soulmate. And he would never let go, no matter what.

───✱*.｡:｡✱*.:｡✧*.｡✰*.:｡✧*.｡:｡*.｡✱ ───

Author's note

Hello there! I'm so sorry for doing this quite late. Since exams and school and all that.

I hope you enjoy this matchup nonetheless! And I also made sure that the drabble was a bit different and unique to make up for it. Since I decided to try out a new way of writing.

[dogsliampaynedoesntinstagram]

Hi Ralph! You talked a few times how you were adjusting to the different Covid situation in New Zealand, how are you now? You've been back about six months right? Would you say you're mostly back to normal, pre-pandemic behaviour/feeling? If so, how did you get there? Because the numbers in my country (in Europe) are very low at the moment, even with the Delta variant being dominant, and a lot of the restrictions are lifted. I'm even already fully vaccinated and yet seeing the football stadiums so full during the Euro etc and imagining myself in a big crowd freaks me out so much I can't even really enjoy being allowed to do things again. At the same time it's probably going to get worse again after the summer, so I feel like I should take advantage of the possibilities now...

Thanks for your ask anon - I think the transition periods are incredibly difficult and I have huge sympathy for what you're trying to navigate.

I'm really glad that you're vaccinated and the numbers are low where you are.

I'm mostly back to normal now. A couple of months ago I realised that most of the stress I was feeling wasn't about COVID or adjusting to life after COVID, but the more mundane stress of having had to move home under circumstances of my own choosing and having no idea what I was doing with my life.

It did take time - a lot of time. And I think in some ways my situation was a lot simpler than yours. I knew what I was moving into. New Zealand had been without COVID restrictions for months and had dealt with border incursions. I didn't have to second guess whether what I was doing was safe, just concentrate on the way my brain was freaking out.

While I think you can be very confident in the vaccine that you've received, the larger question of how your society operates now there are very few restrictions and lots of vaccinated people.

I'm going to give you some advice - it may or may not apply, but hopefully it'll help you filter through some stuff. The first thing to do is just listen to your anxiety for a while - what's going on? Are you afraid of getting sick? Are you afraid of infecting other people? If it's not about the virus itself - how new is this? Is this an escalation of pre-existing social anxiety? Or the result of being so isolated?

If the anxiety is about the virus, information helps. Having a good idea about how the vaccines work, and how the virus passes on can really help you figure out what sort of risks you're willing to take. (If you don't have a good handle on this - and there hasn't been good information in a lot of places just let me know and I'll share some of the resources I've found most useful. In the meantime I love this Spanish infographic and this Scottish ad).

New Zealand has a travel bubble with Australia (or most of Australia at hte moment). When there was an outbreak in Melbourne a couple of months back, I realised that I was really anxious, because cases could pop up here without people knowing. I decided that I was going to only meet people with the windows open in the meantime (and I'm considering getting a CO2 monitor to have a proxy measure of ventilation). I won't do this once I'm fully vaccinated, but right now my philsophy is 'I didn't come all this way to catch COVID in NZ'. (One of the reasons that I'm pretty cautious is that I have immunocompromised people that are very important to me and I really want to push down the risks of passing it on to them).

Which is all to say, if it's about the disease - you get to choose your own level of risk - and lessening risk doesn't mean that you have to avoid all social interaction.

But it won't all be about the disease, some of it will just be about the experience of being around a lot of people all at once. I remember very early on saying: 'You know what's the exact opposite of being in my flat on my own for 10 months? An hour with my 4 & 6 year old nieblings.' And then I went and lay down for half an hour, even thought they were still there.

Here are my thoughts on what helped.

1. Start with things you want to do and know you will enjoy doing. I found that spending time with the people I was closest to - and also casual acquaintances where we could chat a bit without much pressure was most satisfying. There were people who I really like, but have some history with, and I was like 'you know what these people can wait'.

2. Start with things that you can leave when you want. Casual events and your own transport (or chill out space) make a huge difference. Knowing that you can leave can make it much easier to stay.

3. Treat it as an experiment - some things that you find difficult might surprise you. I went to a stand-up comedy gig - and the comedian used a lot of awkwardness in her humour. And I realised that I'd been impossibly tense the whole time and hadn't enjoyed it. I had spent most of ten months alone and my boundaries with other people's emotions had lessened. I think it'll be a while before I go back to anything where awkardness is a feature.

I would also try and not put too much emphasis on 'I have to do things now, because things will get worse'. You don't know that. More people in your country are being vaccinated every day, so things could very well get better. And even if it does turn out to be true - it doesn't help. Putting pressure on yourself doesn't help you figure out what you want and how to navigate difficult situations. Don't think about what you should do - ask yourself what you want to do.