#but obviously science isn’t a part of the equation because none of the science is on pro lifers side

[sunsoakedsand]

the whole fetal heartbeat thing drives me insaneeee because it’s so ascientific like cardiac muscle cells will contract just growing in a petri dish…doesn’t mean they’re a person

[halothenthehorns]

All in the Family

Chapter 144: Hermione's Helping Hand

The room was a very dangerous landing, each of them got a book to the head no matter where they landed. Frank was on a flaming red comforter on the bed with a dog eared copy, the title so faded he hadn't a hope of recognizing it until he flipped through a few pages, and even then did not follow the Muggle story.* Alice had a heavy tomb smash so hard against her forehead she saw stars, and it was over a copy of some muggle thing to do with the human anatomy a Healer would struggle to follow.

Lily groaned miserably as she removed a book on alchemy from her face, and Potter's glasses had broken where he'd faced planted a window with an interesting view of a Muggle neighborhood and still had a book on the windowsill crack a lens he couldn't even read the title of now.

Peter had to pull himself out from a whole pile of books, on top of which was Defensive Magical Theory, by Wilbert Slinkhard, and Regulus even found one on teeth he had to dislodge from his own.

Remus landed painfully on a desk, the book losing its place as the bookmark toppled out of sight he felt bad for, and Sirius even found a copy of Quidditch Through the Ages to his distaste for the first time in his life as he pulled it from where it had whacked his ear.

The silver book itself they were all supposed to be here for sat in the middle of the room with the air of innocence. For once.

"As if we haven't been traumatized by enough books already," James sighed as he tapped his glasses to fix them.

"If this room isn't Hermione's, then I'll kiss a centaur," Sirius happily informed the room at large.

"Brilliant deduction there," Lily rolled her eyes, but there was only amusement in her voice. "Did you figure that out before or after this?" She was holding a picture of Hermione in this very room, a still image of her sitting at this very desk with Crookshank's in her lap, the sun just visible on the horizon from the window.

The walls didn't house much decoration, it was simple yet charming to see so much of her personality packed into the comfortably sized room.

"The best part is, I bet this is only a quarter of the ones she owns," James grinned. "She takes most of them with her to school!"

Sirius laughed and Lily found herself smiling in agreement as Lupin tried the door, which mercifully opened. The others scattered about the house, some for the loo, some for the kitchen. Sirius made to do the latter, but lingered in the door jam to watch in fascination as Prongs hesitated, and then turned back to Evans.

There was a reluctance in him he'd seen a few times now, and he had a very good guess why James was suddenly so hesitant to engage with her. He'd been devastated by the news of Sirius' death, arguably more than him even, and it wasn't hard to follow his logic if he had to change something to keep it from happening it would be taking Harry out of the equation via her. He wished his brother wouldn't think like that, but he'd never liked Evans much himself to understand his fascination with her and so wasn't even sure how to urge him back.

When James turned back holding in whatever he'd been about to say though, Lily startled them both by asking, "so, do you know what a dentist is?" The tone was mild, maybe a little mocking, but she was now holding the book Regulus had spat out with a curious smile.

He would have expected James, as usual, to not actually know how to respond to her when she spoke like a normal human being. Instead he hesitated with an odd smile in place and said casually, "not really, but I got the idea. Teeth and such, Muggles need them cared for without a spell."

Prongs hesitated again, some torn expression lingering, before he softly asked as if speaking of her ill coming death, "how come you never took Care of Magical Creatures?"

Sirius snorted fantastically, earning a dirty look from both of them. He raised his hands in surrender and took a step back into the hall, where Remus came up and pulled on him out of sight. James turned back to watching her, still unsure if he should have asked. She'd gotten assurances on their first day from McGonagall, Flitwick, and Slughorn all the creatures came to no harm for their classes to commence. He'd watched her love of animals long after that, she'd taken to cuddling with every cat in the common room and watched the birds deliver post every morning despite receiving none of her own long after other Muggle-borns grew used to it, but that look of awe and longing lingered in her.

Just because he'd given up on the idea of her didn't mean he couldn't still learn more about her, right? It was something he'd wanted to know for years but obviously she'd never have answered before. Maybe if he tried without the flirting he'd get a better result.

And, it worked. She went a little red, but answered casually, "I was trying to prove something, to my parents, to Snape, myself. Taking Arithmancy and Runes, the harder and more difficult classes. I regret it a bit now."

Potter watched her, absolutely fascinated by her little speech it seemed. She kept waiting for that to wear off now that she was actually trying to talk to him on a regular basis, but it didn't seem to be happening.

"You can take it come NEWT year if you want," he told her, that damnable cheerful smile creeping back now as they managed the first casual conversation of their life. "Remus will lend you his notes for the OWL's next week if you want."

She laughed in surprise, then realized he wasn't joking. He really thought she was that smart she could take a class she hadn't been in for two years? "I'll, ah, take that into consideration," she tried to shrug.

He hesitated, seemed to decide he'd pushed her enough, and then finally left. He'd gotten her to laugh, that was more of an accomplishment he'd managed in his life already! He glanced the way two of his friends went, rolled his eyes, and called towards the kitchen, "hey Alice, want to show me how a muggle stove works!"

Lily blanched in fear of him burning the house down and snatched up the actual needed book, not bothering to pretend to herself she was smiling as she followed along and cracked it open, but paused to take in the rest.

The hallway was littered with cheerful hallmark signs such as 'Love, Life, Live,' and several more of Hermione through the years, but Lily kept watching the muggle photos despite the fact that they weren't moving in mild curiosity for several moments before it occurred to her why they seemed a little odd. Hermione was alone in each of them, smiling brightly, but the only one in focus. Not only no friends hanging off her arm in her primary years as she held up spelling awards and science fair projects, but her parents didn't seem in any of them either. One particularly telling one was a candid shot of a very young Hermione sitting in an empty waiting room, reading a book far too big for her lap. Only when she got to the very end of most recent photos hinted at who could have been there all these years, and it was an extremely elder lady, possibly her grandmother or even a nanny, the photo at such an angle it was clearly taken by her as well as she stood shoulder to shoulder with Hermione. The tender look of love in the older woman's eyes only leveled with the weary exhaustion in the folds of her skin. Beneath that was a hand drawn calligraphy plaque with the year and date, but no other sort of explanation except her socially awkward behavior from back at the first book.

The kitchen seemed to double as a study, there were heavy journals on multiple surfaces, Frank was flipping curiously through one that was ear marked with dates, names, and what the appointment was going to be for, another that Regulus was prodding his wand along curiously through every page seemed to house lots of studies and practices on how Hermione's parents could improve their work. She doubted he followed a word, even she probably couldn't.

The chapter title itself was unsurprising, and she went through it still laughing it was all about Harry's first act as Captain sorting out members of his team, indeed with Hermione's help. Wasn't this just a day of surprises.

Potter continued to rank highest of all in that regards. The look on his face when he found out what Hermione did was priceless.

The reason behind it she misunderstood.

"She cheated? On Quidditch! I'd expect this girl to snog Snape before I heard her do something like this!"

"She did set Snape on fire once during a game." Alice happily reminded as she swatted his hand away from the hot surface, again. He seemed to keep forgetting despite the red light and heat waves coming up from the innocent black circle. "Guess her bar goes out the window during sports," she finished with a giggle.

His flummoxed expression still seemed at war if he should be impressed or agitated at this, while Regulus was snickering relentlessly for the show as well as he said, "I thought it was brilliant, as if I want to sit around hearing about that McLaggen's temper for the games, he'll ruin what little fun we've been getting out of these."

His eyes tracked curiously as he seemed to realize his brother wasn't in here to give his opinion, but seemed distracted enough when Peter spoke, "think of it this way, you or Padfoot would have done it to some arse in the hallway if he was really saying half that shite. Does the location matter that much?"

"I mean, yes," he pouted, but if anything he looked more confused. "Quidditch shouldn't be trifled with," he finished with a hint of defiance, but eventually sighed and turned back to turning the stove on and off with the odd switch and all the numbers while she finished.

Remus let his fingers brush against Sirius' and subtly pulled his fingers before letting go. Sirius needed no further prompting before following him out of the room into what must be Hermione's parents room. Remus didn't care as he locked the door and then hugged Sirius.

He laughed in delight, immediately returning it as he said quietly into his neck, "I'm getting whiplash from you."

"I just wanted to make sure you know I'm grateful," Remus told him as he pulled back, having to remind himself not to let his hands linger. "For not beating Frank's face into a pulp, back in the apothecary," he elaborated.

The fact that Sirius never held his mood swings against him or even ever accused him of being moody because of the full moon made him wish he could snog his face off right about now. Merlin, James had barely been involved and he'd called him on being an emotional ass!

"Oh," Sirius' face did not settle into a promising expression, barely concealed anger still there, but he made such a valiant effort to push it back away Remus had to fight back the urge to kiss him again. "Right, you're welcome. If he had done it on purpose though, I can't say I'd have been able to stop myself." Moony and Prongs had made a valid point, better Longbottom occasionally forget the dangers than continue being a racist arse, but his point still stood there was a middle ground that wouldn't put Remus in pain! The Marauders all knew it, couldn't he?!

Remus really couldn't resist and let his hand brush along his cheek and settle down on his neck as he gazed into his eyes. Sirius hummed as always at the physical affection. Remus could have hugged him back in the apothecary and not been an arse about this too! This really would just have to be enough for him, he could never ask for better friends. He reluctantly let his hand drop back away with one more whispered thanks.

Sirius looked hurt though, to Remus' confusion. "Why do you keep doing that?"

"Doing what?" He denied, he really hadn't thought Sirius would realize he was starting to back off yet, as much else as he was dealing with.

"Remus, you've barely looked at me since the polyjuice prank," Sirius finally called his crap. "So if you're not mad at me, would you please say so?"

"I'm not," Remus instantly promised. Merlin if he was mad at Sirius for every stupid prank he'd never not be enraged at this one. "I'm, mad at myself." He finally reluctantly admitted.

Sirius' face clouded with concern. Even on top of dealing with James, Peter, and Regulus at once Padfoot hadn't once tried to cope a field on him for some fun away from them while in this room, and a traitorous bubble of hope still lingered in Remus' chest this could mean more to Sirius. They were just friends with benefits, he instantly reminded himself. Friends! Of course he cares, you know he does.

"Anything I can do to help?" Sirius was even the one to reach for his hand, their fingers naturally intertwining.

"It's, Harry," he finally gave a half truth, which was still a truth that the book provided. He couldn't believe he'd only been back in Prongs's kids life once so far this year with Sirius out of the picture. "Not even writing to him, I'm just, this future- I don't want to stop-" He stopped himself quickly before something stupid came out. 'Being there for you,' probably sounded way too intimate to Padfoot. Maybe if he'd actually been around Sirius during that awful Ministry fight he would have come back out of it and none of this would be thrown in their face so repeatedly!

What kind of heartless monster couldn't do the bare minimum to look after one of his best friends kids anyways? And he was complaining Sirius wasn't ready for more, he clearly wasn't capable of it either.

Sirius had such a beautiful smile, and one he so rarely showed anyone. A smirk, his teasing grin were all anyone but the Marauders ever got to see, and Remus drank his fill in now as Padfoot squeezed his fingers while mimicking as well, tracing his cheek before letting his hand rest on his neck as they naturally mirrored each other. Remus wouldn't dream of denying he instantly felt warm and assured as he leaned into the touch even before Sirius told, "this future's a mess Moony. Don't kick yourself about this poor kids life we have no control over. We'll find a way to fix this."

He spoke with such assurance it's like they should have heard the very words Evans was reading change to match. Remus was convinced Sirius could hypnotize the moon to never be full again in that moment as he leaned in and kissed him.

It was just sweet, and gentle. There was no randiness in either of them, just a silent promise as Remus leaned back that no matter what, his words would be true.

HPHPHPHP

*Let me know what you think Hermione's favorite book is. I personally always thought it was Sherlock Holmes.

[hellzyeahwebwielingessays]

Why Doc Ock WOULDN’T be a goddam rapist!

I can’t believe I have to spell that out, let alone outright explain it. But fine, let’s talk about why Otto’s actions in Superior with MJ are way out of whack for his character.

Basically, Doc Ock wouldn’t view using MJ’s feelings for Peter or her history with him as rape. I just don’t think he’s so dumb not to realise that that’s immoral and him taking advantage of her, which he wouldn’t do.

Now, Doc Ock has  taken advantage of people, including women, before and even visited violence upon them. But there is a big difference in each of those situations.

Obviously with Betty Brant, Aunt May, Felicia, Mary Jane and certain other women, Otto has kidnapped them or threatened to harm them. But this has been a strictly functionary action on his part. Person A is of value to Person/People B. Otto wants something from Person/People B, therefore he will threaten Person A in order to get it from them. It’s a clinical and functionary decision. He would (and has) done this with male abductees. It’s not a signifier of his feelings towards women as a whole.

By extension in his pettier moments he’s attempted to harm people as a form of revenge. But it has never been strictly gendered. He bears the world malice in general.

Let’s get a bit more specific though.

With Aunt May he was ostensibly being himself (in personality and  body) whilst omitting the fact that he was a super villain. However, his main use of her was as a means of escape and furthering his one true love, science. He wasn’t pretending to be someone she knew. He wasn’t putting on the face of someone who looked noticeably younger or different from himself so that could never have been a factor in May’s affections for him. And he wasn’t sleeping with her!  Yeah, that’s kind of a critical difference between his relationships with Anna Maria and Aunt May. Hell, it’s highly unlikely he felt legitimate romantic feelings for her. More likely he had a soft spot for her because she reminded him of his own dearly departed mother.

And let’s remember he displayed lingering affection for May even after she ceased being useful to him. He privately praised her kindness. 

He sought to connect with her at Christmas and chose to leave when he realized he’d spoil the holiday for her. 

He was upset when he learned she was in a coma and had flowers sent to her.

What about Black Cat? He clearly liked her and forced her to remain in his hideout. Later he nearly beat her to death. The difference here is that Otto never forced himself upon her or tried to use deception to get her into bed. His attempts to kill her only occurred after she betrayed and stole from him, going on to team up with his enemy and actively work against him. Again, this wasn’t a gendered thing on his part. He was avenging himself on a specific person for specific slights against him.

We then come to Angelina Brancale, a.k.a. Stunner.

Along with his associate, Carolyn Trainer, Otto planned on creating a virtual reality construct that could interact with the real world. This construct would be of Otto himself and assume his place in order to avoid Otto risking his life. They needed a test subject though, someone who wasn’t going to be missed. Otto selected Angela Brancale who was enamoured with him and would’ve done anything for him. Angela went through months of sometimes painful experiments with the end result being the creation of an interactive avatar of her own.

This was Stunner, the super strong, beautiful, Amazonian companion to Doc Ock. Stunner reflected the obese Angela’s ideal self-image.

Superficially this one might seem like a clear-cut case of exploitation. To a certain extent it absolutely is, but it is more complicated than that. For starters it’s obvious that Angela wanted  to become Stunner and enjoyed  being her. There is also no indication that Otto strictly speaking forced or tricked her into doing anything. Yes, she was selected because of her affections to him and how she wouldn’t be missed.

But we do not know if she was briefed about the potential ordeal she would have to go through or if she had the option of bowing out at any point. Carolyn Trainer referred to her as a ‘trooper’ for putting up with all the experiments and the pain they entailed. Carolyn is a villainess but it at least implies that Angela had agency in this situation. Angela and Carolyn later teamed up and seemed civil with one another, which further implies that there was no ill-will between then. If Angela had been tricked or lacked agency that’d unlikely be the case.

Additionally there is no evidence to suggest before or during Angela’s transformation into Stunner that Otto was having sex with her or using sex to manipulate her. There isn’t even any evidence that they were having sex after she became Stunner. 

As final food for thought, he genuinely loved her when she was Stunner and it seemed that he connected to her because he understood the suffering she endured due to her weight.

Oh, and of course, Otto wasn’t pretending to be someone or something he wasn’t with Stunner. If anything he was startlingly vulnerable with her.

The only other significant relationship Otto had pre-Superior was with his fiancée. However, there is 0 evidence of him manipulating her during their courtship. He wasn’t even a villain at that point so he’d have had nothing to lie to her about.

Let’s also consider the following regarding Otto’s interactions with women.

This is the man who literally tried to cure AIDs just to save his ex fiancée Mary Alice.

This is the guy who kidnapped Betty Brant and Aunt May to lure out Spider-Man and then offered them tea.

This is the guy who was pleased to see Peter and MJ happy together because it meant his enemy was back to his upbeat and normal self and would thus continue to be the adversary he Doctor Octopus deserved.

And yet @danslott-blog, Slott-stans, Superior-stans, Spider-Fans who are none of those things and just people in general are willing to accept that this  guy would be a rapist?

We are happy to say he really  wouldn’t even imagine that sex with MJ or Anna Maria would be morally reprehensible?

Just creatively speaking, not in terms of his character or personality, we’re happy to say THAT guy would play in that ballpark and be depicted this way? Shall we be chill if Carnage was outted as a pedophile while we are at it too?

Of course the counter arguments to the above would be that his attempts to sleep with MJ at least were attempts to prove his superiority over Spider-Man. Or to avenger himself upon him in some way.

First of all the entire concept of Superior is broken. It postulates that Otto is seeking to prove himself better than Spider-Man by becoming an improved version of him. But the problem is that the logic doesn’t line up there.

If the only way he can prove himself better than Spider-Man is by literally becoming him  and in turn turning him into Doctor Octopus, that’s tantamount to admitting Spider-Man was always better than himself. The only way he could have won is by becoming the guy he always claimed was inferior to himself.

Second of all in regards to his attempted ‘conquest’ of MJ, sleeping with her wouldn’t even prove his superiority. It’s made clear by issue #2 that he’s merely interested in MJ for sex and no other reason. He accesses Peter’s memories of being intimate with MJ and experiences the sensation of her body that way, being implied to masturbate during this internal screaming. Afterwards, he states he’s got her off his mind and the story clearly conveys that he’s going to turn his attention to other romantic/sexual pursuits.

So he only wanted to sleep with MJ and nothing else. Not even that, he just wanted to know the sensation of sleeping with MJ and was content to access Peter’s memories and wank off to that end internal screaming intensifies.

By this logic then he’s proven himself if anything inferior  to Peter. And no, I’m not making some kind of judgement about masturbation. My point is if Mary Jane consented to sleep with Peter, but has not done that with Otto, then by definition Peter would have accomplished something Otto would not have. If you remove sex from the equation and just said Otto was trying to ‘win’ a mere kiss from Mary Jane and she didn’t do that, but she had done so for Peter, then by definition Otto would’ve failed where Peter has succeeded.

The fact that he was content to move on from her by simply browsing Peter’s memories (from his POV Peter’s ‘accomplishments’ if you will) means that he was never trying to sleep with MJ to prove his superiority in the first place. He was just a horny creep. Nothing more.

Not to mention, he is aware Peter had slept with Mary Jane and done so on multiple occasions. How would even regularly sleeping with her prove himself superior? It’s just sex. He’d know that. He’s both an adult and an incredible clinical person who clearly knows how to romance a woman. One of his biggest regrets in life was giving up his fiancée.

So Otto would be aware that sex would be no proof of his superiority and it wouldn’t mean much in the grand scheme of things. What would really  prove himself superior would be having and maintaining a relationship with MJ that was either longer lasting or over all better than the one she held with Peter.

But he’s not interested in that because he moves on after wanking off. And he is trading off of trickery to even get his foot in the door in the first place. This isn’t a case of him being a younger or more attractive man and using his own charms and traits to court her.

He is only got as far as he did because he looks like someone she knows, because she believes he is that person, because he’s using Peter’s memories to pander to what she likes (like her favourite movie) and circumvent what he knows will turn her off. Hell in ASM #698 he jumps immediately into a relationship with her but it’s obvious to both him and MJ that the emotional groundwork for that had been laid in preceding months.

So even if Otto was enough of a slimeball to not consider this rape, a man that intelligent and egotistical would still recognize that sex wouldn’t be a badge of superiority on his part.

If anything his own romantic life would be something more worthy of pride.

Let’s say we accept for the moment that Otto conforms to stereotypical standards of attractiveness. Well then what would be more impressive from your POV?

a)    Wooing a stunning actress/supermodel when she believes you are someone else she knows, someone much in their 20s or early 30s, very in shape and at least fairly handsome

Or

b)   Being a rotund, arguably ugly (but at least typically unattractive) middle aged man and wooing a relatively attractive woman your age, a younger more attractive woman who was immediately smitten by you and a younger woman smitten by you that your own genius transformed into a veritable vision of stunning beauty?*

Yeah, obviously the latter right?

Also, the idea that sex with MJ would constitute a form of revenge is highly out of character for Otto.

That is more of a Norman Osborn tactic. Otto actively despises Norman’s ideology, as elaborated upon in Superior Team-Up #11-12. In those issues Otto and Norman endeavour to work together in spite of a philosophical disagreement. Otto feels that Spider-Man should be defeated through science whereas Norman feels they should attack his soul. 

To prove the point Norman infects Otto’s old fiancee Mary Alice with a deadly virus (read: AIDs, this was the 1990s) so Otto will understand the torment they could inflict upon Spider-Man.

Initially Otto seeks bloody revenge upon Norman. However, he defies Norman by instead reaffirming his original belief. He sought to defeat Spider-Man through science and thus prove his philosophy superior to Norman’s.

Okay. That wasn’t published at the time of Superior #2 so let’s say we ignore it.

Even doing that, Otto had been defined for decades as someone who wouldn’t go in for such spiteful attacks on his enemies.

In Spec #221 (part of the ‘Web of Death’ storyline) Peter himself states he doesn’t believe Otto will target his loved ones, even though he just learned his secret identity.

Hold them hostage to lure him out? Okay.

Maim or kill them for revenge? He’s just not that sort of guy.

Or at least he wasn’t until this  creepy ass scene from ASM #700. Among other things, he specifically refers to the prospect of sex with MJ as ‘another victory for the Master Planner’. 

Let’s try coming at this from a different angle then.

If Otto believes himself to be  Peter Parker because he inhabits his body, perhaps he doesn’t regard sleeping with MJ as unethical at all. She is giving her consent to Peter Parker and he is  Peter Parker now.

That’s a rather huge stretch to make about the character considering he actively tried to hide the fact that he was secretly Otto Octavius from so many people in Superior.

Moreover, during ‘Dying Wish’ it was clear (due to mischaracterization) that Otto was doing what he was doing for revenge, that was even partially why he wanted to sleep with MJ (see above). He wanted to ‘have something Peter hadn’t had in a while’ (...ugh...). Furthermore in ASM #700 he was bombarded with Peter’s morality (or some shit like that, I don’t know...) and this convinced him to be a good guy.

But that was seemingly thrown out the window when Superior started as he seemed to just be a bad guy who battled crime to again be superior to Spider-Man. He wasn’t honouring his fallen comrade and didn’t have his moral compass as seemed to be implied in ASM #700 because if he did why was he still trying to rape Mary Jane?

Shit in fact in Avenging Spider-Man #15.1 he’s LAUGHING at Peter’s demise and the fact that he’s gotten away with this. He refers to Spider-Man in the third person as he does this. This event also happened literally the day after ASM #700, so it was less than 24 hours since he had been blasted with Peter Parker’s memories and resolved to be a ‘hero’.

Not to mention in various issues he clearly refers to himself and Peter as separate entities. In Avenging Spider-Man #15.1 his thoughts drifted to MJ and he called Peter a fool.

He does the same in Superior #2 where he refers to Peter in the third person.

His dialogue utilizes quotation marks when using Peter’s full name; “Peter Parker”. This demarks how he is making a distinction between himself and the real Peter Parker. He is acknowledging himself as a pretender.

In Superior #4 internally reprimanded ‘Parker’ for never finishing Grad School. At the same time he negatively compared Peter’s efforts to when he received his own doctorate, referring to himself as ‘I’.

In Superior #10 he referred to Peter as a separate person, referencing how he expunged him from his mind in the prior issue. 

He also chastises Peter as a ‘reactionary fool’ who allowed ‘his’ enemies to make the first move. Where ‘Parker’ dealt with symptoms he plans on dealing with the disease. He even refers to himself by name as Otto Octavius.

When he runs into MJ he wonders what ‘Parker’ would say and gripes that fooling her was easier before he purged ‘his’ (meaning Peter’s) memories. 

In Superior #21 he refers to his “…life as ‘Peter Parker’…”. He’s clearly making a distinction between the real Peter Parker and himself as a pretender.

In the same issue, when Stunner blames him as Spidey for murdering Doc Ock, it takes Otto a moment to register what she is talking about. He then attempts to reveal the truth to her. He starts by saying “I’m actually…”

These moments when taken with all his other unethical actions in Superior also undermine another defence of Otto’s raptastic efforts in Superior.

This is the idea that ‘he’s changed’ in the interim leading into Superior. Now  his attitude towards women and morality is different so it’s believable for him to act this way.

Let’s ignore how again, Superior Team-Up disproves this. Otto’s actions clearly showcase that he in fact has not changed as a person. He’s not grown or evolved. He just happens to be crime fighting now as a form of ego boosting and to prove himself better than Peter.

More importantly if Otto was going to so noticeably change in his attitudes to women then we should have seen that happen!

You can’t just jump forward and tell readers to just accept a character has had a change of heart and is now open to the idea of fucking rape!

How, when and WHY did he change to be this drastically different predatory creature? This wasn’t like how Aunt May or Norman were different when the former was resurrected and the latter was written by JMS. Those were extrapolations of aspects of those characters that were already there. This was essentially something wholesale new and starkly against how he was previously defined. Its akin to what Slott did to Ben Reilly in ‘Clone Conspiracy’ or to Ashley Kafka when he had her declare someone irredeemable (even though she believed Carnage  was redeemable).

Finally, lets pretend to ignore all of the above.

Let’s say Otto being a rapist would be entirely believable.

That doesn’t mean you should actually DO it!

Doc Ock is a classic goofy mad scientist archetypical villain, even if he was (allegedly) on a redemption tour in this story. Adding something so creepy, disturbing and vile from the real world to his character taints his character. It took him to a bad place where he was peers with the likes of Purple Man and Doctor Light. It makes him practically irredeemable. Maybe a skilled writer on a MAX book could pull off a redemption arc for a rapist or attempted rapist. But not only is Slott not that skilled, but he’s played it for comedy!

Frankly, unless you have seriously  done your research on this topic you shouldn’t even be touching it.

To touch it so casually for humour  is seriously FUCKED UP!

I don’t even want  this topic really raised in mainline Spider-Man titles period personally but to do it like this?

*gagging noises*

Not to mention it was entirely unnecessary.

Otto had attempted to mass murder half the planet in an arc just the year before Superior. Surely that  is enough fuel for a redemption story, you don’t need to make him a rapist/attempted rapist on top of that.

But no. Gotta milk that crass shock value for all it is worth!

Shit, the topic with MJ was handwaved within one issue!

Fuck Slott.

Fuck Superior.

Fuck everyone who defended this disgusting garbage!

*This also dismantles the myopic idea that an older man who looked like Otto would be jumping at the chance to have sex. That’s another defence I’ve heard. The fact is multiple women found Otto attractive as he was.

[banditthewriter]

Billy Russo’s Soulmate

The last of my anniversary oneshots! And I got them all posted before my anniversary! Yay. Thanks so much for reading.

Trope: Being able to telepathically communicate with your soulmate

Tags are at the bottom. Let me know if you would like to be added to one of my tag lists!

*gif is mine*

Enjoy!

*****

The first thought you hear from your soulmate is “I can’t wait until I can leave here.”

You were in class yourself so you felt the same way, but his tone made you think he meant something else entirely. He sounded tired in a way no one your age should sound. 

It was too soon for you to be able to converse through thoughts yet but you sent him happy thoughts anyways. You made it a habit to think happy thoughts towards your soulmate daily.

The next clear thought that came through was “No, no, stop!”

The pure terror and anger in his voice broke your heart. You tried to push good thoughts but you still hadn’t gotten the hang of it yet. After that, you waited with a desperation you couldn’t explain to hear another thought from him. Any thought. You needed to know that he was okay.

The next time you heard his voice, he was studying for some sort of test. This time it lasted longer so as he finished reciting what sounded like chemical equations, you pushed your own thoughts towards him.

“I’m good with science. Maybe I could help?”

It was silent for a long moment so you thought you’d failed. Then you heard his voice once again.

“Can you hear me?”

You gasped in excitement.

“Yes! And you can hear me?”

This time the silence only lasted a brief second.

“Holy shit. This is real. I have a soulmate?”

Laughter bubbled up inside of you.

“You better believe it.”

------

Your soulmate’s name was Billy, but you couldn’t get his last name. The connection censored certain things out. You did find out that he lived in New York so he wasn’t too far away at least.

You also learned that he was going through college on the military’s dime. When he got a degree, he’d be a commissioned officer in the Marines. 

“Better than being a grunt,” he explained when you asked about it.

The news that your soulmate was going into the military frightened you. You just found him, you didn’t want to lose him. And while you didn’t want him to know that you were afraid for him, it was hard to keep your true feelings away from someone who could read your mind. And read it he did.

Over the course of the next few months, you try to spend as much time with Billy in your thoughts as you can. It’s not always easy, sometimes the connection isn’t clear or concise, but you reach out to him daily. 

After his graduation, which you were so proud of, he packed a bag and went to the base. So went the next year or so with his training. You were with him every step of the way once more, listening to him complain about the pain in his body and the stresses of the different classes and courses he has to take. You’re there as he goes through what was called SERE training, something that you thought was closer to torture than training.

You’re able to ignore the fact that your soulmate will end up going to war for the most part, but then you hear the words that strike you in your chest.

“I deploy in a few weeks.”

Deployment. He would deploy in a few weeks. He couldn’t tell you exactly where he was deploying, but you doubted it would be somewhere boring and safe. It would be somewhere dangerous.

You walked from your last class of the day to your car with the plan to go back to your apartment and crash for the weekend. There would be plenty of time for you to worry about what would happen to Billy when he deployed but he’d told you that he had a surprise for you.

You couldn’t imagine what surprise that would be, but you just couldn’t wait to spend time with him in your thoughts.

With your hand on the door handle of your car, you paused as you heard your name in a familiar voice. And then you heard it again, but it wasn’t in your head.

Billy. You spun around to look. There were a few people nearby but none of them were even looking at you. Wait, not none of them. There was one…

A man with a close shaved head was nearby, his hands at his sides. He was easily the most attractive man you’d ever seen and he was staring right at you. 

The moment your eyes met, the man smiled.

“Billy?” You thought it to your soulmate and held your breath. 

When he gave a nod, you dropped your bag beside your car and ran across the parking lot. Arms went around your waist and you were twirled around, your face buried in his neck. 

Your soulmate. He was in your arms. It was your soulmate. Finally.

It was a long weekend of the two of you wrapped up on your couch. Now that you were together, somehow, neither of you wanted to be apart. He spent the night in your bed, but there wasn’t anything sexual about.

Well, almost nothing sexual. 

There was a lot of kissing. The first kiss has been after he stopped hugging you when you met, a brief brush of the lips. Then, when you got him to your apartment, he grabbed you before you even put down your bag and gave you a kiss that you felt all the way down to your toes.

Every time the kissing got too heated, he’d pull back and press his forehead to yours.

“I don’t want it to be like this, rushed and desperate. I want it to be perfect,” he breathed as he pulled you into his chest. “When I come back from deployment, all bets are off.”

------

The deployment was hard, but you read forums that were dedicated to the soulmates of soldiers to help handle the distance and worry. It helped you cope, but there was still that persistent pain in your chest as you worried when you didn’t hear from Billy in a few days.

He always came back. Sometimes you could tell it was accidental, a brief touch of his mind during a firefight or during a briefing when he should be paying attention to his superiors. It was as if his mind couldn’t help but reach out for you in those times.

You fell back onto the habits you had picked up when you first heard his voice in your head. You sent happy thoughts and calming vibes to your soulmate as you possibly could.

You sent all of the love you held.

The danger never seemed to cease. Sometimes the two of you would be conversing and you’d get a flash from his mind of defensive maneuvers, half of an image of the gun he held in his hands as he fought off the enemy.

You were also there for the end of his deployment, sixteen months later. When you found him on your doorstep, his thoughts never once betraying the fact that he was back stateside, you cried into his shoulder as you held him tight. 

That night the two of you were truly together for the first time, your minds and bodies entwined. In that moment you knew that you would be there for your soulmate in any way you could.

------

Events transpired after that. You graduated from college with Billy and your family in the stands. He went on another deployment. You moved to New York. He came home to you. You started a job with a museum. He went on another deployment. You waited for him to come home.

The years stretched on like the hands of a clock, ticking through with the two of you only passing by each other every now and then. Every time he was stateside, he was with you as much as possible. When he was gone, he stayed connected with you so that you wouldn’t worry.

One of his times home, he introduced you to the man he called his friend and brother. Frank Castle was a large man who could definitely be intimidating, but you saw him holding his daughter and laughing with his wife Maria and were at ease with him.

They weren’t just friends; they were family. On the next deployment, you spent more time with Maria and the kids than you had with the guys at home. The two of you formed your own support group and became best friends in your own right.

“I’m coming home,” a voice called to you one night while you were getting into bed.

“Soon?”

“Permanently.”

Your heart raced in your chest and you swallowed thickly.

“Did something happen?”

You felt his emotions in that moment. Anger, fear, frustration, determination. Love.

“I’m done with the Marines. I’m getting out. I’m coming home.”

Of course Billy had told you a hundred times that he wasn’t a lifer, that the Marines was just another chapter in his life, but you had never thought about a life after his service. And it looked like that time was coming.

You couldn’t wait.

------

Anvil. The company that Billy had started had flourished quickly, even though the two of your struggled with the start up. He had his contacts from his service that helped. And the number of recruits he had to begin with told you that Billy had made the right decision.

Military people needed hope after their service was done. Anvil was the way they got that.

You were with him every step of the way, just as you had promised. You helped him with the company in the ways you could. Frank was there too, although he hadn’t left the service yet. Maria told you it was only a matter of time, but not yet.

The life the two of you were building made you ridiculously happy and you loved every moment of it.

Except the day that you caught the tail-end of a conversation between him and a woman from the government. The woman was very obviously flirting with him and while Billy wasn’t encouraging it, he wasn’t dissuading it either.

In the years you’d known Billy, you’d never felt threatened. You were his soulmate, his other half. But seeing it first hand was something different.

You trusted Billy, so why were you so upset?

That’s what he asked when you confronted him about it.

“If you trust me, why does it matter that she was flirting? It’s just business.”

Just business. You tried not to imagine what your future would look like under that decree. Every woman who met Billy was allowed to flirt just because it was business? Except maybe he’d find someone who could give him things you couldn’t. These contacts were either military or government so they’d have experiences you could only dream of. He’d have things in common with them.

That night you stayed with Maria and Frank, the pillow wet with tears. You wished you could pretend it didn’t bother you, but there was a hole in the pit of your stomach.

As you finally started to drift off, you felt a brush against your mind. It wasn’t him trying to contact you as much as it was him reassuring himself that you were still there.

The next morning, you met him back at the apartment the two of you shared. He had slept on the couch, apparent by the pillow and blanket placed neatly on one of the cushions. The moment you were inside, he was in front of you with his hands on your face to pull you into a kiss.

“I won’t let it happen again,” he promised between kisses, his body close as he held onto you. “I’ll do whatever it takes. I know you trust me but I gotta deserve that trust. Nothing is more important to me than you, not Anvil, not anything. Just don’t leave me, please.”

You held on to him tight, your face buried in his neck. It reminded you of the first time you had met him.

“You’re the voice inside my head, even without this soulmate bond,” you said as you pulled back to meet his eyes. “I’m always going to be by your side Billy. Always.”

X

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[thesouthernpansy]

sacred geometry (3/?)

stanford pines/bill cipher chapter 3/? 

ford arrived at backupsmore university ready to put his head down and get lost in his classwork. his new roommate seemed to have come prepared to haul him back out, again.

that, and eat uncooked blocks of ramen.

somehow, that isn't even the weirdest thing happening on campus, and the prospect of strange new mysteries and stranger new friends has ford feeling almost glad to be here.

it's a college au, let's crack some books

read on ao3

For months, now, Ford has been chasing stories, anecdotes from friends of classmates and acquaintances about unexplained lights, disembodied voices, unidentified creatures prowling the quad in broad daylight. He's met with anyone and everyone willing to share their accounts with him—some witnesses have been more hesitant than others, but no one can say Ford has been anything less than persistent. What they can, and have, said has begun to earn him something of a reputation among the student body, though even that has had its uses. Those touched by this nebulous weirdness have begun seeking Ford out deliberately; many of his more close-minded and incurious peers, conversely, have begun deliberately avoiding him.

Both have saved Ford a great deal of time and effort, in their ways.

There's a map that Ford has kept on his person constantly since it was given to him brand new during orientation, now perilously soft where he's folded and unfolded it so many times. It's plotted extensively with numbered red circles, each with their own corresponding entry in Ford's journal, all grouped sparsely along one of three precise, hand-drawn lines. Where the lines intersect they form a perfect equilateral triangle, connecting the building that houses the financial aid department to the Beta Delta Theta fraternity house to the Warbleheim Concert Hall and back again. The shape is clustered so densely with red circles they can barely be distinguished from one another.

“I've been observing the area exhaustively, and all the data I've been able to gather suggests not only that all the supernatural phenomena reported at Backupsmore has a substantial basis in reality, but that the vast majority of it originates in this spot specifically.”

Bill blinks. “I thought we were talking about ley lines.”

“We are!” Ford catches the excited crack in his voice too late to stop it. He clears his throat as discreetly as he can as he turns the map back towards Bill. He taps again at the red triangle, the geographic heart of Backupsmore's crowded campus, and the lines that form it. “These denote the perimeter of the phenomena's epicenter, and they correspond precisely with the mapped ley lines in the area. For all practical purposes, they're the same lines!”

Bill hmms thoughtfully. “A confluence of mysterious and powerful energies at ol' Backupsmore, huh? No wonder so much weird stuff happens around here.”

“Exactly.” Something surges in Ford's stomach, buzzes through his chest and out to the tips of his fingers. Bill gets it.

Gathering the journal from Ford's hands, Bill spins on his heel to glance down at the grid paper carpet still adorning the floor. He looks between it and the equations he's holding several times before waving towards the observatory's open ceiling, mouth slanted sideways.

“So you're, what, trying to figure out if the ley lines are a gemini?”

Astrology. Ford rolls his eyes; some of his beliefs may be unconventional, but they're all backed by known science. Mostly.

“More like keeping track of the correlation between unexplained activity and significant celestial positioning.”

“And?” prompts Bill.

“So far, the data is inconclusive at best,” Ford admits. “But I still believe it's worth recording.”

“Sure, sure,” says Bill, “What's with all this, though?”

Tucking Ford's journal under his arm, Bill twirls a hand over a spot on Ford's star chart where Ford went through the trouble of connecting the stars in Capricornus, one of dozens of constellations that have all received the same attention.

“Let me guess, it's 'a helpful shorthand method for identifying sectors of the sky'?” he asks in a tenor that Ford recognizes, rankled, as an incredibly accurate impression of his own.

“They're not—” Every vector and sector and quadrant of the star chart is clearly, painstakingly, and obviously labeled, which makes it difficult to argue that the additional factor of the constellations doesn't clog it up, make it harder to understand. Still, they're not unhelpful, not for Ford, but to say that would be to admit the full, uncomfortable truth that he's allowed sentiment to infiltrate his otherwise scientifically pristine proceedings.

He settles for “It's complicated.”

“Now we're getting somewhere! What am I sensing here, an old betrayal? A deep, cosmos-related wound?”

“Bill—”

“Who hurt you, Fordsy, what fault did they leave in your stars?”

Bill swoons dramatically against Ford's arm, and the sudden urge to laugh gets tangled with the hook of rising anger in Ford's chest.

“You can't just assume—” he falters, feeling Bill shift to look up at him. What is he even talking about, surely they're both wondering it, now. Can't just assume that he knows Ford, that he can read what and why and how like even Ford's most private and embarrassing motivations are a simple study of reacting atoms; can't assume that Ford wants him to know, wants him to understand, wants him constantly hanging off Ford like Ford's invited the physical contact or even permitted it.

Ford screws his eyes shut, inhales sharply and scrubs a hand under his glasses. He feels the loss of heat when Bill moves away.

“That bad?”

“I know them well, that's all. The constellations were my, my gateway to the rest of the universe, I suppose. I've known them like the back of my hand since I was a kid. The whole back of my hand,” he adds, almost conciliatory. “They were meant to be of a more practical use, eventually.”

“Little Fordsy, still thinking big?”

“I thought so,” replies Ford wryly. “We were going to use them for navigational purposes.”

“We?”

Panic churns briefly through Ford's stomach. He should've anticipated this possibility; he has the barest scraping of experience keeping secrets from anyone who isn't his parents, which is really such a dramatic connection to make, he thinks. It isn't as though he's intentionally been keeping Stan a secret. Still it's reluctant and strangely, fleetingly guilty when he can finally get the words out.

“My, ah, my brother and I. We found this dinghy one summer when we were...who can remember, now, but we spent the season patching it up and making plans about traveling the vast oceans, seeing the world and solving mysteries, exploring the unexplored.”

Ford glances sideways at Bill self-consciously. No one else at Backupsmore knows that Ford has a brother, not even Fiddleford, and honestly Ford has preferred it that way. Every part of their lives was shared until Ford left, no inch even of his impossible childhood dreams left to Ford alone, and if it had been up to Stan that's how it would've stayed.

Somehow, the Stan O'War remains an island in the mess it all came to, surrounded and yet untouched by the anger and resentment Ford's twin precipitates in him. A simpler time, when the whole world was still open to him and he knew with his fierce child's certainty that it he would one day make his mark on it.

Ford sighs heavily. “We were going to find Atlantis,” he says.

“Ugh, Plato again.”

This time, Ford does laugh. Bill curls long fingers around his wrist.

“Aw, look who's got a warm, gooey center underneath all those big brains. You're the full package!”

“Don't mock me,” says Ford.

“I'm not mocking you,” insists Bill. “I'm teasing you. There's a big difference.”

From the corner of his eye, Ford can see Bill's head angled to meet his gaze. He looks down at his hands, instead.

“Where's your brother now?” Bill asks.

“Who knows,” says Ford, venom in his voice. “He was one a one-way street to nowhere the last time I saw him. As far as I'm concerned, that's where he belongs.”

“Sounds like there's a story there,” notes Bill.

“No story that's worth telling. Let it suffice to say that it's his fault I'm wasting my talents in this sad excuse for a school instead of at West Coast Tech, where someone of my intellect and ability ought to be. No offense,” he adds quickly, remembering.

“None taken! I'm here because I want to be.”

Ford's attention snags on this detail. “Really?”

“I know, I know, my intellect and abilities are atrophied and depressed, it's very tragic. Hey—“ Bill points up through the observatory roof at the familiar axis of The Big Dipper. “Tell me about that one, Starman.”

Ford wrinkles his nose at the new nickname. “What about it?”

“Anything! Everything, all the news that's fit to print.”

“Something tells me you already know anything I could tell you.”

“Sure, but I want to hear it from you. What's that one?”

“Which one?” Ford squints to catch the pattern in the cluster of stars Bill indicates without success.

“That one, right there. It's a perfect triangle, look—those three, right next to that reddish one.”

“There's no constellation there,” says Ford.

“That you know of,” says Bill cryptically.

“Because you're making it up right now?” asks Ford, charmed despite himself.

Bill grins, tightens his grip on Ford's wrist just a fraction, his thumb pressed against the soft curve Ford's pulse.

“Humor me,” he entreats. “What's it called?”

Ford knows a vast amount about the heavens, their movements, configurations, and effects, their secrecies and the awe they open up inside him—suddenly, ridiculously, none of it seems like enough. Certainly none of it helps him floundering to find a satisfying answer against the nervous, noisy background radiation of his own heartbeat, of which he is currently all too aware.

“Uh,” he offers lamely. “William?”

"...William?" Bill seems genuinely thrown by the suggestion.

Heat creeps up the back of Ford's neck. "Bill isn't short for William?"

A beat of silence, and then Bill laughs, harsh and loud and bright. “Ha! Well played, Fordsy, nice try. I said it's a nickname, I didn't say it's an abbreviation."

“I see,” says Ford carefully, but his looming humiliation has no time to set in; Bill snaps Ford's journal shut and gestures towards him with the spine.

“What do you know about Lemuria?”he asks. The expression Ford makes in response must be telling. “The Polarians? The Hyperboreans? The lost civilization of Mu?”

“Is this more Plato?” asks Ford.

In response, Bill chucks the journal at him, but he's grinning all the same. “Getting fresh on me! Okay. If you chicken-and-egged the room you'd know that Lemuria came before Atlantis, thank you very much. Those water-logged chumps sank Lemuria like the bag of crystals it was, but you know how it is—a whole bunch of the Lemurian citizens escaped to the far corners of your primitive earth and taught the wide and varied indigenous peoples how to make calenders and build the pyramids and all that mystic stuff. Or maybe they were aliens, were the pyramids aliens?”

If he rolled his eyes any harder, Ford thinks, he would probably sprain something.

“What,” says Bill, “you don't believe in extradimensional intelligence?”

“Of course I do,” snaps Ford. “I also think it's disrespectful to assume our ancestors needed aliens to figure out that a pyramid is the best shape to build for structural impact and endurance.”

Bill beams at him. “When are you done with classes tomorrow?”

“I—what? Why?”

“We haven't had a game in a while. I'd say we're past due for a rematch, wouldn't you? Or we could skip to the inevitable and you could just treat me to pizza.”

Chess, Ford realizes. Bill is talking about chess.

“A rematch,” he says slowly. “You know, I have been practicing.”

“That so?”

“I think I could beat you this time,” Ford tells him. He and Fiddleford have been playing nearly every morning before ecological statistics, and it diminishes the difficultly of Fiddleford as an opponent not at all to acknowledge that the lion's share of the victories have gone to Ford.

Bill tugs at Ford's tie, mussing it before he tightens and straightens and smooths it neatly along Ford's chest.

“We'll have to see about that then, won't we?” He pauses to adjust his sunglasses. “I take it you know where the concert hall is, so meet me there, five o'clock sharp.”

“Are you a music major?” tries Ford.

“Hmmm, getting warmer,” Bill tells him.

“You play an instrument,” Ford guesses.

Shrugging, Bill responds, “I've been known to tickle an ivory or two in my day. Maybe if you're good I'll play for you sometime. You like Vera Lynn?”

“Yes, actually,” says Ford. Something stirs in the pit of his chest.

Bill taps his chest, once, twice, fingers lingering this time.

“It's a date.”

[cultheroine]

—    BASICS

Is your muse tall/short/average?:  it varies for the most part --- shorter in her earlier years, to make herself seem more unimposing, taller once she’s married. none of faye’s characteristics are real or stable and the way she looks now is not what she looked like a few years ago

Are they okay with their height?: well, yeah

What’s their hair like? : auburn, soft, curled

Do they spend a lot of time on their grooming?:  faye equates grooming to self care so she’s very prone to long baths and long and detailed skincare / haircare routines, because she finds it soothing. her appearance is also very important to her and her career, so it’s something she monitors quite closely.

Does your muse care about their appearance/what others think?: deeply. she makes a lot of money off of people being attracted to her, and she’s terribly vain, so she must be considered objectively beautiful. she’s also put a lot of blood, sweat and tears into looking this way, so you’d better appreciate it!

—    PREFERENCES

Indoors or outdoors? outdoors Rain or Sunshine? both are beautiful; loves to lounge in the afternoon sun Forest or Beach? forest; longs for the seaside but could never really live there Precious Metals or Gems? gems Flowers or Perfumes? perfumes Personality or Appearance? personality. faye obviously has a very intense appreciation for beauty, but it’s something she sees as changeable - tear off your skin, build a new one - whereas personality isn’t. Being Alone or Being in a Crowd? alone Order or Anarchy? anarchy Painful Truths or White Lies? truths Science or Magic? magic Peace or Conflict? conflict Night or Day? night Dusk or Dawn? dusk Warmth or Cold? warmth Acquaintances or Close Friends? close friends Reading or Playing a Game? reading alone, playing a game with others

—    QUESTIONNAIRE

What are some of your muse’s bad habits? like, literally murdering people. faye smokes and drinks, often to excess, because she doesn’t think the consequences of those actions will ever have any effect on her (they won’t). she’s impulsive, stubborn, and selfish, and is often prone to acting in her own self interest at the expense of others. she doesn’t handle disagreements well with those she doesn’t respect, and even if she’s proven wrong, she’s more likely to become further rooted in her own wrong statements than submit to you if she doesn’t think you’re worth it. faye is, at the core of it, a deeply angry and selfish woman, and it shows in almost everything she does.

Has your muse lost anyone? How has it affected them? faye lost her mother when she was a child, leaving her lost and alone in a place that was very new and very foreign. faye has lost people in every phase of her life, but most of those losses were her own doing, so she doesn’t dwell. 

What are some fond memories your muse has? very brief flickers of good moments throughout her youth; out of context snapshots that don’t let her dwell on the bad. her marriage ceremony, receiving her oscar, her directorial debut, the birth of her children.

Is it easy for your muse to kill? it wasn’t always

What’s it like when your muse breaks down? quick, like flashing light. all anger, no remorse

Is your muse capable of trusting someone with their life? yes, but you have to go through some life or death trials first

What’s your muse like when they’re in love? deeply devoted, very intense, always intimate (not limited to sexual intimacy - always touching, always sitting close, offering little gestures that she thinks you’ll appreciate); she’ll do anything for you and will expect you to do the same

tagged by: @hesubdues ❣ tagging: @sattins for any of the new babies because im bullying you into getting the ball rolling on that one

[chaosenticed-blog]

                      greetings  angels ! i’m  steven,  going  by  she/her  pronouns  and  miserably  lodged  in  the  pst  timezone,  also  currently  known  as  the  devil’s  taint  thanks  to  this  heatwave !  super  fun  !  pls  bear  with  me  ,  i’ll  be  up  everyone’s  asses  for  plots  with  my  lil  dudebro  shithead  𝖘𝖎𝖑𝖆𝖘  ,  he’s  a  new  muse  of  mine  i’ve  conjured  up  bc  ethan  is  just  too  good  looking  to  not  utilize  ?  i’ll  keep  this  short  so  we  can  pull  a  queen  carly  rae  and  cut  to  the  feeling  ~

❛ chicago’s very own  𝖘𝖎𝖑𝖆𝖘  𝖉𝖎  𝖌𝖗𝖎𝖒𝖆𝖑𝖉𝖎 has been spotted in new york city in his jeep wrangler blackhawk , welcome ! your resemblance to  ethan dolan is unreal. according to tmz, you just had your twentieth birthday bash. your chance of surviving new york is uncertain because you’re 𝐈𝐌𝐏𝐑𝐔𝐃𝐄𝐍𝐓 , but being 𝐒𝐀𝐆𝐀𝐂𝐈𝐎𝐔𝐒 might help you. i guess being a taurus explains that. three things that would paint a better picture of you would be 𝐂𝐀𝐑𝐄𝐅𝐔𝐋𝐋𝐘  𝐂𝐔𝐑𝐀𝐓𝐄𝐃  𝐅𝐄𝐒𝐓𝐈𝐕𝐀𝐋  𝐎𝐔𝐓𝐅𝐈𝐓𝐒,  𝐓𝐈𝐑𝐄𝐃  𝐁𝐑𝐎𝐖𝐍  𝐄𝐘𝐄𝐒  𝐖𝐄𝐋𝐂𝐎𝐌𝐈𝐍𝐆  𝐓𝐇𝐎𝐒𝐄  𝐌𝐎𝐒𝐓  𝐈𝐍  𝐍𝐄𝐄𝐃,  𝐅𝐀𝐋𝐋𝐈𝐍𝐆  𝐀𝐒𝐋𝐄𝐄𝐏  𝐖𝐈𝐓𝐇  𝐂𝐋𝐄𝐍𝐂𝐇𝐄𝐃  𝐅𝐈𝐒𝐓𝐒  𝐀𝐍𝐃  𝐕𝐎𝐋𝐔𝐌𝐄𝐒  𝐔𝐍𝐒𝐀𝐈𝐃. & ( cismale & he / him / his )

aesthetic :  

playing  guitar  barefooted  in  a  hammock,  sun  kissed  skin  and  a  half-kept  beard,  knowing  all  the  vegan  options  at  the  city’s  boujiest  restaurants,  a  crooked  grin  saved  for  whoever  he  can  tell  needs  it  most,  overthinking  his  next  move  even  if  it  seems  completely  organic,  a  boyish  laugh  at  the  most  asinine  pranks,  c-’s littering  his  transcript ( except  the  a  earned  in  environmental  science,  his  elective  of  choice ),  calling  instead  of  texting  because  texting  “ loses  the  humanity, ”  casual  nights  spent  oversized  hoodies,  yellow  checkered  vans,  shorts  with  a  60-day  chip  in  the  left  pocket,  yelling  out  species  of  trees  passing  by  over  thumping  bass  beats  on  a  road  trip,  sweat  on  designer-clothed  skin  like  glitter,  doing  head  counts  of  “the  squad”  over  and  over  in  the  rear  view  mirror  on  the  way  home  from  a  rager,  random  stupid  tattoos  done “ for  the  memory, ”  intricate  handshakes  performed  with  ease.  acting  like  you  don’t  care,  but  you  do— god  you  do,  sometimes  so  much  it  consumes  you  whole.

inspired  by  :

jim  halpert from  the  office,  jackson  maine  from  a  star  is  born,  jim  hawkins  from  treasure  planet,  jackson  avery  and  owen  hunt from  grey’s  anatomy.

history :

born  to  a  major  chicago  councilman   father  and  a  ceo  mother,  the  middle  of  three  boys,  silas  found  himself  drawn  outside  until  the  sun  came  down,  connecting  to  whatever  the  earth  was  able  to  give  him  in  the  inhospitable  chicago  weather .  he’d  wander  aimlessly  for  hours,  guiding  his  twin  and  their  older  brother  through  the  trails  he  made  himself .  his  home  wherever  he  could  make  it  —  the  branches  of  creaking  trees at  the  park ,  the  caverns  of  frosted  caves ,  he  learned  to  be  content  with  the  little  things ,  humble  and  rooted  firmly  in  his  beliefs  of  morality  and  logic .  

it  was  never  exactly  fun  to  play  the  role  of  the  son  in  the  limelight,  eyes  on  his  family  whenever  his  parents  where  on  a  particularly  tricky  trip .  his  eldest  brother,  julien,  was  a  parent’s  dream  and  easily  took  up  a  political  career  without  any  complications .  balancing  in  the  shadow  of  his  eldest  brother  and  the  push  of  his  twin ,  silas  kept  his  own  hopes  and  dreams  on  the  back  burner ,  prioritizing  a  family  name  before  his  own  desires ( and  thus ,  the  apparition  begins. )

he  knows  the  eyes  are  on  him  to  carry  on  the  family  legacy ,  and  does  the  bare  minimum  possible  to  keep  his  uptight  parents  off  his  back .  he  went  to  the  private  schools ,  played  the  big  name  sports ,  mingled  with  the  a-listers .  he  fills  the  role  to  please  his  family  and  keep  the  peace ,  but  once  the  light  comes  off  him ,  he  pushes  off  against  the  prim  and  proper  upbringing  and  finds  his  own  stride .  though  he  takes  the  classes  and  attends  the  conferences  to  make  his  father  think  he’s  prime  for  having  his  name  in  the  news ,  silas  could  not  be  bothered  to  carry  the  illusion  on  into  the  rest  of  his  life .  nights  are  spent  at  raves ,  hiking  canyons  off  the  grid ,  indulging  himself .

yet  all  this  time  spent  trying  to  fit  into  a  future  he  never  asked  for  folded  over  on  him ,  as  one  would  readily  expect .  the  beginning  of  his  freshman  year ,  it  was  exposed  that  his  father  had  carried  on  with  an  affair  nearly  two  decades  ago  and  kept  it  secret  until  now ,  resulting  in  a  half-sister  close  to  his  age  and  an  onslaught  of  media  attention  on  his  once-pristine  family . now  ,  his  father  remaining  in  chicago  and  his  mother  moving  to  new  york  to  helm  her  medical  cosmetics  business  with  a  renewed  vigor  ,  silas  chooses  to  make  the  jump  to  new  york  wit  his  mom  .  to  his  chagrin  ,  she  notes  a  political  run  in  her  future  that  puts  silas  on  edge  ,  forcing  him  to  really  come  to  terms  with  living  the  life  his  family  will  forever  ask  of  him  .

never  one  to  particularly  enjoy  attention,  the  added  pressure  of  trying  to  repair  his  family’s  reputation ( and  keep  mum  on  the  bitter  divide  caused  within  his  family ) drove  him  to  a  point  where  anything  he  could  use  to  escape  would  become  a  viable  option .  smiling  for  cameras  and  keeping  up  appearances  in  public  led  to  binge  drinking  and  benders  galore  in  private ,  ultimately  ending  with  his  twin  brother  hauling  him  to  the  emergency  room  after  a  particularly  brutal  night .  a  stint  in  rehab  this  last  summer  ( explained  as  “ humanitarian  work  in  the  middle  east ”  ) led  to  silas’  newfound  perspective  on  life—  struggling  every  day  to  keep  in  mind  who  he  is,  and  who  he  feels  he  has  to  be  for  the  world .

personality :

silas’  upbringing  has  been  rocky  to  say  the  LEAST,  and  despite  half  the  shit  he’s  gone  through  he’s  managed  to  keep  a  pretty  solid  head  on  his  shoulders  ?

i’ve  been  playing  emo  broody  boys  so  often  i  wanted  to  switch  it  up  and  lowkey ? silas  is  a  breath  of  fresh  air  okay .  he’s  your  quintessential  frat  bro  but  with ~layers~ and  none  of  the  tragic  manic  pixie  dream  boy .  he  comes  across  as  a  reserved  and  non-talkative  kind  of  guy,  stoic  at  first  meeting,  but  with  time  and  comfort  people  find  he’s  really  just  a  cool  laid-back  dude .  he’s  the  dad  friend  of  the  group  and  spends  as  much  time  caring  for  others  as  he  can  possibly  allow  between  his  totally  booked  schedule  of  pretending  to  be  a  preppy  boy  and  literally  not  giving  a  shit  about  most  things.

he  loves  nature  and  hiking  and  being  outside  just  as  much  as  he  loves  a  good  party ,  which  is  where  festivals  and  the  rave  scene  come  into  play .  he  loves  sharing  good  energy  with  the  people  around  him  and  tries  to  keep  the  peace  within  his  circles.  silas  has  a  genuinely  kind  and  benevolent  heart ,  one  he  doesn’t  expose  readily  but  also  doesn’t  ignore .  he  uses  humor  and  quiet  observations  of  others  to  keep  himself  ahead  of  the  loop,  even  if  his  generally  bro-ish  personality  leads  people  to  believe  he’s  inattentive  or  ignorant .  he’s  responsible  and  mature  and  deeply  intelligent,  but  most  of  all,  has  common  sense  and  doesn’t  let  a  decision  be  made  without  weighing  the  pros  and  cons .

( for  the  most  part . )

silas  has  forever  been  recognized  as  inheriting  his  father’s  impulsivity ,  a  trait  he  absolutely  fears  after  seeing  the  terror  it  wreaked  on  his  family .  he  pushes  himself  to  be  smart  and  rational,  trying  to  see  the  logic in  all  things ,  and  tries  to  be  as  disciplined  as  he  can  manage .  when  other  factors  come  into  the  equation  though ,  he  struggles  to  keep  up  his  resolve  and  will  easily  lose  himself  in  the  moment .  he  has  an  addictive  and  ultimately  reckless  personality ,  which  led  to  his  addiction  and  consequential  rehabilitation .  he  tries  to  minimize  the  time  he  spends  with  people  that  may  lead  him  down  a  path  he  doesn’t  want  to  go  down ,  but  obviously  not  everything  goes  as  planned .

otherwise ,  silas  is  stubborn  but  considerate  of  others .  he’s  intelligent  and  creative but  very  poorly  motivated ,  mostly  doing  things  for  the  sake  of  his  family  and  letting  little  else  bother  him .  he’s  loyal  and  sensitive  to  the  emotions  of  others ,  but  is  the first  to  call  out  bullshit if  it  surrounds  him .  he’s  almost  painfully  mellow  and  is  notorious  for  not  having  buttons  to  press  lmao .  he  just  doesn’t  let  most  people’s  comments  get  to  him .  he  has  no  issue  in  cutting  out  the  things ( or  people )  he  has  no  interest  in  spending  his  time  on  and  can  come  across  as  a  bit  forward  in  this  regard .  he  can  be  hypocritical  and  overly  complex ,  having  conflicting  feelings  that  he  can’t  explain  or  rationalize  and  lead  to  him  snapping  or  breaking  down .  he’s  deeply  jealous  and  has  a  bad  habit  of  overthinking  and  not  letting  others  bear  his  burden  with  him .  

as  of  now,  silas  isn’t  sure  where  he  wants  to  take  his  future .  very  few  know  about  his  stint  in  rehab,  and  he  explains  his  lack  of  drugs  or  drinking  as  his  preparation  to  be  a  walk-on  for  the wrestling  team at  NYU  where  he  attends ,  as  his  mother  has  been  encouraging  him  to  pursue  in  order  to  build  a  fanbase  base  for  his  future  political  conquests .  currently,  he  does  modeling  for  a  casual  platform  and  represents  certain  brands  he’s  actually  rather  passionate  about .  he’d  LITERALLY  rather  d*e  than  go  into  politics,  and  is  eyeing  a  future  in  environmental  advocacy  or  ambassador  work ,  but  knows  this  is  not  a  future  aligned  with  the  di  grimaldi  legacy .  for  now ,  he  remains  at  a  crossroads ,  living  half  a  life  he  doesn’t  even  recognize ,  just  hoping  it’ll  manage  itself  on  its  own .

connections :

forbidden  ( 0/2 )  —  best  friend’s  gf ?  his  brother’s  ex ?  his  sister’s  best  friend ? basically  i  want  someone  who  silas  wants  but  can’t  have  because  of  another  relationship  that  could  REALLY  put  them  in  a  dangerous  spot  and  potentially  ruin  what  they  have,  but  it’s  all  hidden  glances  and  risky  snapchats  trying  to  gauge  where  the  line  is  and  where  it  can  be  crossed

exes  ( 0/? ) —  gimmie  angst,  gimmie  chill,  gimmie  people  who  mutually  broke  up  and  are  bros,  give  me  people  who  had  a  messy  split  and  it’s  still  touchy,  give  me  people  who  are  “ supposed  to  be  over ”  but  end  up  in  each  other’s  beds  at  the  end  of  every  other  night,  give  me  people  who  fucking  hate  each  other,  this  is  so  versatile  i’ll  take  anything.

“ gucci  shoes,  boy  i  invented  you ”  ( 0/1 )—  a  fake  gf  he  had  for  the  clout,  someone  who  really  helped  him  live  up  to  the  image  his  family  wanted  for  him,  basically  helped  “ make  him ” and  in  the  process,  she  fell  in  love  with  him.  did  he  feel  the  same  way ?  did  he  not  realize  it ? did  he  simply  not  reciprocate ?  either  way,  they  ended  poorly  and  now  she  resents  him  and  thinks  he’s  a  cowardly  piece  of  shit,  since  she’s  seen  the  “ real  him ”  vs  the  him  she  helped  conjure.  lots  of  tension  !

turn  up  team  ( 0/4 )  —  basically  : whos  gonna  go  rave  with  him  ?  he’s  not  gonna  roll  w  them  if  drugs  are  involved  but  he’ll  enjoy  his  adrenaline  high  with  pleasure.  these  are  people  who  aren’t  close  enough  to  him  to  pressure  him  into  doing  drugs  again,  so  he  feels  okay  with  going  out  with  them  since  there’s  little  to  no  risk  he’ll  relapse

squad  (  0/3-4  )  —  i’m  thinking  a  small  group  of  people  who  he’s  just  always  likely  to  be  found  with,  these  are  the  people  who  matter  most  to  him  and  u  can  hella  catch  him  fathering  them  almost  to  an  ANNOYING  extent.  they  get  to  see  the  best ( and  sometimes  the  worst )  of  him,  but  he’d  do  anything  for  his  squad

devil  on  his  shoulder  ( 0/2 )  — this  can  be  as  intentionally  or  unintentionally  toxic  as  u  want,  but  i’m  basically  envisioning  two  people  who  really  tempt  silas  to  risk  it  all.  maybe  they  want  him  to  dive  back  into  the  hedonistic  side  he  has ( he  was  wild  and  lots  of  people  lowkey  hyped  him  up  for  it ) and  it’s  gritty  and  sexy  and  dark.  maybe  this  person  doesn’t  even  realize  they’re  a  trigger  for  him  and  unintentionally  send  him  close  to  the  edge.

sponsors / confidants  ( 0/2 )  —  i’m  envisioning  a  team  of  3  who  have  been  THROUGH  it  with  the  substance  abuse,  maybe  they  stage “ improvised  meetings ” whenever  they  need  to,  maybe  these  are  just  two  people  who  want  to  make  sure  silas  stays  clean  because  they  know  how  badly  he  needs  it  and  how  dangerous  it  would  be  for  him  to  relapse

vlog  squad  ( ? )  —  my  idea  is  that  silas  and  his  twin  brother  are  youtubers,  and  silas  is  a  BIG  paranormal  shit  guy.  it’s  like  the  perfect  intersection  of  talking  about  nature  and  exploration  without  making  him  seem  like  a  hippie  tree-hugger  and  raise  any  objections  from  his  parents,  so  maybe  he  has  like  a  little  group  similar  to  the  vlog  squad  where  they  share  a  channel  and  they  have  a  small  following?

i’m  putting  in  a  wc  for  his twin  brother  and  his  half-sister so  peep  THOSE

sibling-like  friendship,  booty  calls,  hookups,  people  he’s  in  a  club  on  campus  with,  childhood  friends,  maybe  a  penpal  he  had  after  moving  around  from  place  to  place ?

please  literally  give  me  anything  that  makes  me  smile  or  suffer ?  and  all  in  between .  muah  lov  u  all  can’t  wait  to  rp  !

[bugheadfamily]

Bughead Family Discord Member Spotlight

Graphic by: Katie ( @betty-cooper )

This week the spotlight is on Bridget (@duskyblossom)! Click the read more link below to get to know our member!

Spotlight by Mila, @jughead-jones

Bridget | @duskyblossom

Name: Bridget

Age: Old enough to do Lego.

Location: Somewhere in this crazy universe.

Any other languages aside from English people can contact you in?: I would say a little bit of French but probably best not to haha.

Favourite Riverdale characters and ships?: Betty, Jughead, Cheryl (after she reconciled herself), Mary, Midge (rip), Valerie (somehow fell off the face of the earth?), Fred! My favourite ships are definitely Bughead and Choni, they’re just so adorable!!

Favourite moments from S1 & S2?: My favourite episode was 2x09 because of how the writers executed it, I know a lot of people disliked it but I thought the storylines in that made sense (Not because of the lack of bughead, I liked the actual CONTENTS and not just the shipping aspect.) 2x12 was also really good! In terms of bughead content,obviously 2x12 and 2x14 were the most bughead filled parts of Season 2, but I really liked 2x05 because man, that pulled at the heartstrings. Stuff like the ‘I believe you, Jughead.’ scene was what made Season 1 really cute in terms of Bughead. I also really liked the dynamic they had between Betty and Jug in S2.

What are your hopes for S3?: In terms of Bughead, I really want to see RAS giving them a chance to act like real teenagers not 25 year olds. I want to see them being all cuddly and just being happy for once!! I’m also super intrigued to see where the serpent storyline will go, and how Betty will interact with Gladys and Jellybean.

Other fandoms you’re into?: Nothing, really. I used to be a huge Hunger Games and Harry Potter nut, so you can still talk to me about those! I also LOVE The Office, it’s my other favourite TV show!

Something non-fandom you love?: Reading, art, and baking!

What are some of your favourite movies/TV?: Oh, BOY. This question is really hard. For TV, obviously Riverdale is my number one, but The Office US comes a close second. I got so invested in The Office and it was so difficult to see it end. For movies, the Sound of Music can’t really be beat in my books. It’s such a timeless classic that i’ve loved forever. La La Land is my VERY close second, that film was and still is the death of me. Lady Bird was an INCREDIBLE film, I really related to it and its bittersweetness and sentimentality! And classic musicals like Mamma Mia and Grease.

Favourite books?: I read a lot, so I’m so excited to share some of my faves! Obviously the Harry Potter series, that influenced me a lot. The Hunger Games trilogy was also really gripping and I loved that. The Sun Is Also A Star by Nicola Yoon was so enlightening and I loved that. The Catcher In The Rye by J.D. Saldinger, such a classic and I loved the way it was written. Turtles All The Way Down by John Green is a really good book that brings light to mental health in a less harsh sense which is perfect for me. I’m also reading The Circle by Dave Eggers at the moment which is great so far!

Favourite bands/musicians?: I don’t really listen to anyone in particular, but my 2 favourites are Adele and Sam Smith.

If you could live in any fictional world which one would you choose and why?: I feel like everyone says this, but probably Harry Potter. I wouldn’t want to risk the chance of getting murdered in Riverdale tbh!

Favourite food?: This question is so so SO difficult but I’d have to say shoestring fries with aioli and a huge side of salad.

Favourite season?: Spring! All the flowers bloom and all the baby animals are born, it’s starting to get warmer but it stills rains! Everything about it is just wonderful.

Favourite plant?: Baby’s breath! It’s so delicate and sweet.

Favourite scent?: Starfruit or vanilla bean. Starfruit is such a fresh and pleasant scent, while vanilla makes me feel all cosy and calm.

Favourite colour?: Pink, pink, pink!! I love it so much.

Favourite animal?: Can I be boring and say dogs? I just love them.

Are you a night owl, an early bird, or a vampire?: Can I say none of these? I love sleep so mornings are not for me, and being a vampire is a big no-no. So I guess I would say night owl, as I’d rather go to sleep late than wake up early.

Place you want to visit?: All over Europe - it’s such a beautiful and interesting continent.

Do you have pets?: If you do, tell us a little about them: Yes I do! I have a schnoodle (schnauzer + poodle cross). He is the cutest little thing and always gives me snuggles even though he really just wants food haha. I love him to death.

Tell us a little about yourself?: I mean, what’s there to tell? Hmm… I guess I could say I’m a creative person. Work that I’m not inspired by is really difficult for me such as areas like mathematics or science. I’ve always been a creative soul, I much prefer the arts over sitting at a computer and typing equations or finding out molecular structures. That stuff just doesn’t interest me! I’ve always been a girly girl at heart, as I said before I adore the colour pink and cutesy things. Tying in with being a girly girl, I’ve been a hopeless romantic since I can remember. I feel like I always look at the idealistic side of things, which doesn’t help me being a perfectionist. To all the people who aren’t perfectionists, lucky you. It’s beyond frustrating when something isn’t how I want it to be. Making art and other things is a challenge for me, if I’m not completely happy with what I’ve done, I will throw it out. There’s a running joke that I’m not allowed to give up on a piece anymore because I’m that bad! I’ve always been super academic, I’ve never been one for sport as it doesn’t activate my mind as such. Although I must say, swimming is something I’ve always been good at. I’m such a water baby! I’m super in to fashion and photography, it really interests me how you can express yourself through simple things like what you wear. I think that’s it!

Fun or weird fact about you?: My pinky finger on my right hand moves completely on its own. I can move it up and down without any of my other fingers moving. I haven’t met one person who can do it too!

Asks for fanfic authors:

How long have you been writing?: About 3 years now!

Which is your favourite of the fics you’ve written?: Well I mean My Muse Yet My Saviour as that’s the only thing I’ve done in the bughead fandom so far!

Favourite fic/chapter/plot-point/character you’ve ever written?: Probably Chapter 9 of MMYMS. (Spoiler if you haven’t read it!) I was really glad I got to incorporate Jellybean into the story and write her out in my own way as I’ve seen other writers do before. I can’t wait to see how she’s portrayed in S3!

Which was the hardest to write, and why?: All of it, to be honest. Writing is difficult for me as I get bored easily with a lot of things and I have to push myself to put out the best content I possibly can.

How do you come up with the ideas for you fic(s)? (examples: Do you draw inspiration from real life? Listen to music? Get inspired by TV/movies?) Do you have an process to your writing?: Can I say my brain? I just make stuff up as I go along, and somehow make it work! There’s no rhyme or reason to my writing either - I just word vomit onto my document and then organise it!

Idea that you always wanted to write?: Just normal, teenagery bughead. I think that’d be adorable!

Favourite character to write?: Betty - she has so much versatility and you can create a lot of dimension with her!

Best comment/review you’ve ever received?: All of them. I’m so appreciative of all the praise I get, it really motivates me to create more content. Thank you to anyone who’s ever commented, I appreciate you!!

Best and worst parts of being a writer?: Best is probably having that creative outlet to share your work and ideas. It gives me a chance to share all my thoughts and feelings in a way and I love it! Worst is probably the time it takes. Mostly I don’t have enough free time to write and when I do I’m not in the mood. Finding that balance is really difficult.

Do you have any advice to offer?: Keeping working hard! If you don’t push yourself, your work won’t be of your best ability. Giving yourself a challenge shows off your skills and makes you work harder than before, which really pays off.

.

.

This is the second instalment of Bughead Family’s Member Spotlight series. Each week, a member’s url is selected through a randomizer and they will be featured in a spotlight post. In order to participate, please join the Bughead Discord (more information found here). Thank you.

[kanasmusings]

Here’s Track 10 of Idol Festival! I posted it on Soundcloud because the file size was too big for tumblr lol.

Translations under the cut. Enjoy~

Other tracks: [1] [2] [3] [4] [5] [6] [7] [8] [9] [10] [11] Masterpost: Here ^^

Notes before you read:

There’s a math question here and y’all, I tried to solve it for real and I’m not sure why I’m not getting the same answer lol. I’m an English major, damn it XD I haven’t done math in months. So, if you please manage to solve it, please tell me  (*´▽`*)

EDIT: Thank you to @yaoilover-89 for actually doing the math solving to help clear up the question! XD

Track 10 - “Which Quiz Show”

[どっちのクイズショー]

  MAHIRU:      The last segment is: “OMG! Which Quiz Show!”

MAHIRU:      It’s a quiz variety segment to test the idols’ knowledge!

MAHIRU:      Your hosts will be me, Shirota Mahiru and~

KURO:           Kuro.

MAHIRU:      We’ll be delivering it to you!

MAHIRU:      Let’s introduce our teams without further ado!

MAHIRU:      The first team is: Misono and Snow Lily Team!

MISONO:      I’ll be taking over this one. Any result aside from victory is not accepted!

LILY:             I’ll show you my healing powers as a reliable big brother idol~

LILY:            Now then, I shall strip—

MISONO:      Don’t strip!!

KURO:           Even if he does it’ll only be censored with mosaics.

MAHIRU:      The second team is: Tetsu and Hugh!

HUGH:           We’ll be aiming for victory with our perfect teamwork!

HUGH:           Let’s do our best, Tetsu~

TETSU:         Leave the muscle work to me.

MAHIRU:      There’s not really any muscle work, though…

KURO:           The third team is Licht and Lawless’ team.

HYDE:           Now, behold~!

LICHT:          (talks over Hyde) Behold the power of an angel!

HYDE:           Didn’t we agree that I’d greet first?! Why’d you go ahead and say something?

LICHT:          Shut up.

LICHT:          Hey, Staff! Cut off this shit rat’s mic!

HYDE:           What the--?! Ah, geez! Your angel wings keep on hitting me. It’s cramped so fold them!

KURO:           That’s all three teams~

BELKIA:       Wait, wait, WAIT!!

BELKIA:       Why are you purposely forgetting to introduce us, you bastard?!

TSUBAKI:    There, there, Bel~ You know how it goes~ Save the best for last!

TSUBAKI:    I, the president of the Tsubaki Company, am this segment’s main character!

BELKIA:       (in a fangirly voice) KYAH~!! TSUBAKYUN’S SO COOL!!!!

BELKIA:       It’s obvious that the winners will be Tsubakyun and I!

BELKIA:       Too bad for you~!

MISONO:      Hey, Shirota. What does the winner get?

MISONO:      You haven’t told us yet.

MAHIRU:      Ah, I’ll explain it right now.

MAHIRU:      The winning team gets this prize:

(drum rolls)

MAHIRU:      A 3-day, 2-night hot springs trip for two!

HYDE:           Woohoo! A Japanese hot spring~

LILY:            Oh, how wonderful! It’s relaxing and good for the skin!

LICHT:          Will we get to bathe with Mr. Monkey?!1

MAHIRU:      Sorry about that. Tetsu’s an heir to a hot springs inn so maybe you’d have liked a different prize.

TETSU:         I don’t mind. I love hot springs.

HUGH:           Going to a different hot spring may prove to be educational~

TETSU:         You mean like spying on the enemy?

TETSU:         I see. Hugh always says wonderful things.

TSUBAKI:    Hey, are you guys blind? Isn’t it obvious who among us here is best suited for hot springs~

TSUBAKI:    Come on, LOOK AT ME~ It looks like I can go anytime~

KURO:           But aren’t you always wearing traditional clothes?

BELKIA:       By pair, huh? Maybe I’ll go ask Sakuya or Shamrock to go with me.

TSUBAKI:     Wait, Bel~! You don’t want to go with me?!

  ***

  MAHIRU:      Do your best and aim for the prize, everyone!

MAHIRU:      Now then, here’s the first category!

(game show music)

MAHIRU:      “Simple is best! Fast Hands Quiz!”

MAHIRU:      The rules are simple.

MAHIRU:      Whoever can push the button and answer correctly first gets one point.

KURO:           By the way, the questions are taken from middle school level subjects so it’ll be embarrassing if you get it wrong.

  ***

  MAHIRU:      First question!

MAHIRU:      It’s a math question!

MAHIRU:      “Takashi-kun--”

HUGH:           Who’s Takashi-kun?!

TETSU:         He’s not here, is he?

MAHIRU:      That’s what bothers you?!

MAHIRU:      Then… I’ll change his name to someone we know.

MAHIRU:      Then, um… “Kuro went shopping with 3000 yen.”

KURO:           Eh? I won’t do that, though.

MAHIRU:      At least pretend to!

MAHIRU:      “He got to the produce section to buy fruits and if one apple is 240 yen and one orange is 160 yen—”

HYDE:           EH?! Isn’t that too expensive? The produce section where I work part-time is much cheaper.

LICHT:          WHAT?! Selling such expensive produce like that… Is it the devil’s grocer?!

MAHIRU:      I’m begging you… Let me read it all first!

MAHIRU:      “If he bought a total of 12 things, and his change was 760 yen, how many apples did Kuro buy?”

(buzzer sounds)

TSUBAKI:    He bought one box and paid it using a credit card.

(buzzer sounds)

BELKIA:       He threatened the seller to give it to him for free!

MAHIRU:      What happened to the 3000 yen he brought?!

(buzzer sounds)

KURO:           He used it to buy a video game so it’s gone.

MAHIRU:      Don’t buy one so casually!

(buzzer sounds)

MISONO:      Hmph. It’s simple simultaneous equations.

MISONO:      The answer is four!

MAHIRU:      Correct!

MAHIRU:      Misono and Lily get 20 points!

LILY:            As expected of you, Misono~

MISONO:      Of course.

KURO:           Woah. Bastard-chan’s brilliant for once.

KURO:           Since he’s not really useful when fighting.

MISONO:      Hey, cat! I can hear you!

MAHIRU:      Qustion two!

MAHIRU:      It’s a science question.

MAHIRU:      “If you put litmus paper into an alkali based substance, what color will it turn to?”

(buzzer sounds)

LICHT:          The color of an oasis’s water as a gift from Heaven.

MAHIRU:      What color is that exactly?!

(buzzer sounds)

HYDE:           It’s my favourite lucky color~

MAHIRU:      I wasn’t asking that!

(buzzer sounds and breaks)

TETSU:         Ah, sorry.

TETSU:         The button broke after I pushed it.

LILY:            His power’s no joke as usual~

MAHIRU:      Then just raise your hand!

TETSU:         It’s blue, right? We learned that in class a few days ago.

HUGH:           Great job, Tetsu!

TETSU:         Yeah.

HYDE:           Class? Do they still do litmus paper experiments in college?

TETSU:         Hm? I’m in second year middle school, though.

KURO:           Like I said, the questions are middle school level.

BELKIA:       Outward appearances are really misleading!

TSUBAKI:    Is that much physical development okay?

TSUBAKI:    Ah, but Shirota Mahiru and Ahoge’s heights are still like that even though they’re older. Is that the end of your growth spurt?

MAHI/MISO: That’s none of your business!

  ***

  KURO:           It’s a history question~

MAHIRU:      “Who was the one who started the Kamakura Shogunate?”2

(buzzer sounds)

LICHT:          Is it… me…?

MAHIRU:      OBVIOUSLY NOT!!

(buzzer sounds)

TSUBAKI:    It’s me!

MAHIRU:      THAT’S IMPOSSIBLE!

(buzzer sounds)

BELKIA:       Then, it’s gotta be me!

  ***

  MAHIRU:      (sighs) A lot has happened but…

MAHIRU:      The last question is: “All or Nothing! Let’s Jump To It!”

MAHIRU:      Currently, Misono and Lily are on the lead with 280 points.

MAHIRU:      Tetsu and Hugh have 250 points.

MAHIRU:      Licht and Lawless have 190 points.

MAHIRU:      In last place is Tsubaki and Belkia with an unbelievable 0 points!

HUGH:           Not getting one question right is… amazing on its own, I guess…

TSUBAKI:    Give us easier questions to answer~

BELKIA:       Exactly! Something like a revolving sushi-related question.

MAHIRU:      As if there’s something like that!

(game show sounds)

KURO:           Here’s some good news for the last placer.

KURO:           A bonus event’s starting~

KURO:           If you get it right, we’ll give you an additional 250 points.

MAHIRU:      I had a feeling this would happen…!

KURO:           But, if you get it wrong, you get minus 100 points.

MISONO:      We didn’t hear about that!

KURO:           The show’s staff just decided it.

MISONO:      Don’t mess with me! Then what was the point of all the other questions?!

LILY:             There, there, Misono. It seems like this is unavoidable.

TSUBAKI:    You say some great things sometimes, Sleepy Ash of Sloth!

KURO:           That wasn’t me.

KURO:           It was the staff.

BELKIA:       This means that if the others get it wrong and we get it right, we’ll be killing them all in one swoop, right, Tsubakyun~

TSUBAKI:    AHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHA!!! (coughs)

TSUBAKI:    (coughing) We’ll take you on…

MAHIRU:      Here’s a question for Misono and Lily.

MAHIRU:      “In Physics, glass can be a liquid.”

MAHIRU:      Is it true or false?

(clock ticking)

MISONO:      There’s no way that a hard thing like that is liquid.

MISONO:      The answer is false!

LILY:             But, there’s such a thing as “molten glass”.

MAHIRU:      I’m curious about why Mahiru-kun mentioned Physics, too.

MISONO:      Don’t confuse me.

(whistle blows)

MISONO:      It’s definitely false!

LILY:            Yes. If Misono says so then I agree, too!

MAHIRU:      Then, please go to the door you think is the answer.

KURO:           Though there’s no such thing as a “correct” door.

KURO:           If you get it wrong, you’ll fall into a pool of ice cold water.

(Misono running and panting)

LILY:             Are you alright, Misono?

TETSU:         He runs slow as always.

TETSU:         That Shrimp.

HUGH:           All of Love is matching his pace by simply walking.

MISONO:      You’re all annoying!

MISONO:      I can hear you!

(tries to open door)

MISONO:      What’s with this door? It won’t open.

LILY:            I’ll do it, Misono.

LILY:            Ready and…

(door breaks and they fall down)

(splash)

MISONO:      AHH!!

MAHIRU:      Too bad! The answer is “true”!

MAHIRU:      In Physics, glass can be considered liquid if melted under high temperatures!

KURO:           They fall down to third place after getting minus 100 points.

MAHIRU:      The next question is for Tetsu and Hugh!

MAHIRU:      “The voice you hear over the phone is not the real person’s voice.”

MAHIRU:      Is it true or false?

(clock ticking)

TETSU:         If it’s not their voice then whose voice is it?

HUGH:           Does that mean you’re technically talking to a voice without an owner?

HUGH:           That’s just like a horror movie!

(whistle blows)

HUGH:           Hm… The answer is false!

TETSU:         Alright, let’s go. Grab on, Hugh.

HUGH:           Yes. Onwards!

(running and breaking door)

TETSU:         Ah.

(splashing)

MISONO:      You bastards, too?!

TETSU:         It was hot so this is perfect.

LILY:             Here’s a towel if you’d like.

TETSU:         Thanks.

HUGH:           To think that we’d get it wrong…

MAHIRU:      Too bad! The answer is “true”!

MAHIRU:      It’s not their real voice but a playback of voices similar to theirs through the sound waves.

KURO:           The first and second places have now fallen.

LICHT:          That hot springs trip is mine!

LICHT:          Hey! Say the question now.

MAHIRU:      Question three!

MAHIRU:      “A baby turtle’s gender can be determined by the temperature of the eggs.”

MAHIRU:      Is it true or false?

LICHT:          It’s true! (runs to the door as fast as he can)

HYDE:           Lichtan! The thinking time’s not over yet!

LICHT:          It’s true! (breaks down the door)

MAHIRU:      That’s correct!

HYDE:           It is?!

KURO:           You get 250 points.

LICHT:          That’s expected.

LICHT:          That’s because I’m an angel.

HYDE:           (crying tears of joy) Lichtan~ As expected from a genius, violent, Angel-chan~!

HYDE:           Hot springs~ Hot springs~

MAHIRU:      They now have a total of 440 points!

MAHIRU:      The current first placers are Licht and Lawless!

TSUBAKI:    EH?! That means even if we get it right, we still can’t win.

TSUBAKI:    That’s not too interesting for a broadcast, isn’t it?

TSUBAKI:    You have to make the next one worth 500 points.

BELKIA:       That’s right!

MAHIRU:      Something selfish like that can’t—

KURO:           We got an “okay” from the show’s staff.

MAHIRU:      They’re alright with that?!

KURO:           But, only if they get the super difficult question that the show’s AD3 prepared specially.

MAHIRU:      (flipping pages) Eh? What’s with this question?

KURO:           I said it was extremely difficult, didn’t I?

MAHIRU:      (clears throat) Um… “Among the dishes that I, Shirota Mahiru, prepared, Watanuki Sakuya’s favourite is the cookie. Is it true or false?”

(clock ticking)

BELKIA:       AS IF WE’D KNOW THAT!!

TSUBAKI:    Aren’t you being unfair with your questions for us?!

MAHIRU:      Even I don’t know if it’s true or false!

MAHIRU:      Since I made a lot of stuff for him aside from cookies.

(whistle blows)

BELKIA:       Every other question was true so maybe this one’s false, Tsubakyun?

TSUBAKI:    You’re too naïve, Belkia.

TSUBAKI:    That’s what they want us to think. It’s definitely “true”! (runs to the door)

BELKIA:       Eh?! Wait for me! I definitely don’t want to fall into—

(door breaks)

TSUBAKI:    AHHHH!!!!

(splash)

  ***

  MAHIRU:      Ah, so it wasn’t the cookie.

KURO:           Then, let’s hear the answer from the man himself.

MAHIRU:      Hm? The AD from a while ago was…

SAKUYA:     It was me, Mahiru.

MAHIRU:      S-Sakuya?!

MAHIRU:      Why are you wearing the staff’s uniform?

SAKUYA:     I got done with my job early so I thought of going home but,

SAKUYA:     I heard that you were hosting the next segment so I stayed.

KURO:           The candid camera was a success~

MAHIRU:      What are you gonna accomplish by doing that to me?

MAHIRU:      Oh, yeah, the last question…

SAKUYA:     Ah, that.

SAKUYA:     The answer is “everything”.

(victory fanfare)

MAHIRU:      Eh… Eh?

KURO:           The last segment’s finally over. My throat’s feeling so dry.

KURO:           Mahiru, soda.

MAHIRU:      It’s not over yet!

MAHIRU:      We have to hand out the prize and close the program, right?!

SAKUYA:     If it’s the prize, the winged guy just took it with him.

KURO:           And Lawless chased after that Angel.

MAHIRU:      EH?!

KURO:           And Bastard-chan and the others who fell in the water looked like they were dying from the cold so they were told to go have a warm shower.

MAHIRU:      When did they--?!

MAHIRU:      What will we do now?

SAKUYA:     Filming will be over after they get out of the shower so you should take a break, too, Mahiru.

SAKUYA:     The staff prepared some food backstage, too, so let’s go together.

MAHIRU:      Eh?! Is it really okay to end it like this?

KURO:           Really…

KURO:           I can’t deal with being an idol.

KURO:           Lazing about at home is the best.

  == END ==

  Translator’s Notes:

1 Licht is referring to the monkeys of Jigokudani Monkey Park. It’s a National Park located in the valley of the Yokoyu River which is famous for its large population of Japanese macaques that sometimes take a dip in the hot springs when it gets too cold in the mountains. [Source]

2 The Kamakura Shogunate was a feudal military government that was established by Minamoto no Yoritomo. [Source]

3 AD stands for “Assistant Director”.

[wunderlass]

Winter

Winter hits early this year, and it hits hard. Darcy doesn't mind the snow, but not everyone agrees.

For F*ckYeahWinterShock's Winter Wonderland Ball. A patchwork of many prompts.

I wrote this all in one today and haven't even given it a read through so my bad if it's full of errors. I had to get it up before the end of December and I won't have time on New Year's Day (which it now is, since it's 2.30am). Forgive me if it shows.

Prompts at the end to avoid potential spoilers.

This is slightly Civil War AU in that everybody made up at the end and are living together in Stark Tower, like it's 2012 again or something.

Winter hits early this year, and it hits hard.

Darcy’s not about to complain: it’s her favorite season. She can do without black ice, but she’d rather be bundled up in tons of layers than sweating her ass off in the worst of summer, especially in the humidity of New York. New Mexico was a dry heat; Manhattan just soaks up all that warmth in its concrete and glass and reduces Darcy to one big glob of sweat. Air conditioning is the best invention ever, but it doesn’t exist outside where the asphalt reflects the heat back at her, or on the subway when she’s riding around in other people’s perspiration. If anybody ever questions the validity of climate change in her presence, she’s going to drown them in the puddle between her boobs.

So yeah. Darcy digs winter. She can swaddle herself in big cozy sweaters and watch the snow drift from the sky, wrapping her hands around a big mug of hot chocolate. It almost makes the move to New York worth it.

There are a few other things on that very short list of positive things. Darcy likes the city as a place to visit, but she’s not thrilled about living here. Too many people nd not enough manners. She’d have happily stayed in London (even if the Underground was a sweat-box all year round) except Jane was running out of funding and shadowy government agencies were circling. Stark Industries had offered her a secure place to continue research and a measure of protection, with a cast-iron guarantee that she’d retain ownership, and that none of her work would be used for building weapons. Darcy came along for the ride, with an actual salary this time.

The free rent, courtesy of one Tony Stark (via one Pepper Potts) is on the list of good things, especially because that free rent comes in the form of a pretty sweet apartment in Stark Tower and not a shoe box on the furthest stop on the subway.

Another is that she gets to see a lot of Bucky Barnes around the tower.

Darcy has a type, which she likes to summarize as “strong and silent”. Surprisingly few men make the cut and she’d resigned herself to it only being a movie archetype. That was, until Barnes turned up in the lab one day, to quietly sit and observe what they were doing. He likes to do that, between what Pepper makes sound like some pretty hardcore therapy sessions. He doesn’t ask questions and the other scientists confirmed it’s a common thing to see him mutely trespassing, though he will move heavy equipment around without complaint. His presence should be unnerving but he usually looks so forlorn that it’s like having a sad puppy watching you work.

When Darcy sees him around the tower—never in the midst of a group—he’s usually hunched over a book. Science is his preferred topic: A Brief History of Time or some Neil DeGrasse Tyson, so Jane starts leaving out her favorites on the end of benches in case he comes by.

So Barnes is both strong and silent, but also astonishingly pretty beneath all the hair and the beard. It’s a combination Darcy can’t resist. She has it bad.

He doesn’t seem to know she exists.

She can live with that. It’s enough to admire him from afar, since she’s sure the aforementioned hardcore therapy doesn’t make him the best prospect for romance. The guy’s been through a lot and Darcy’s not sure she’s looking for anything heavy. Besides, she’d prefer to stay on the fringes of the superhero world, which looks like one big mess from where she’s standing. There’s a lot of adventure involved, sure, but there also seems to be a whole lot of PTSD.

She greets the winter, and the first snow, with open delight, beaming at the first flakes through the window as they waft downward. They’re too far up for her to see if they settle and stick to the ground, but it’s unlikely to happen. Instead they’ll be driven over and churned up underfoot until there’s nothing left but dirty slush. She doesn’t have to see that, only the prettier side close to the sky.

It’s how Steve Rogers finds her in Tony’s workshop, where she’s been sent to fetch some notes Jane lent to him and gets distracted by the snowfall. He clears his throat to attract her attention, and she nearly jumps out of her skin when she notices who it is.

“Is Tony around?” he asks, politely pretending not to notice her reaction.

“No?” she replies, more question of her own than answer. She tries again. “He’s supposed to be, but I don’t know where he is.”

Steve follows her gaze to the falling white flecks outside. “It’s early in the year for snow.”

“Climate change,” she says with feigned authority, and he nods along with her. “I think Tony might have a plan to fix that, though.”

There’s movement behind him, and a familiar figure shuffles into the lab, sticking to the perimeter of the room while he takes in who’s in it.

“Hi, Bucky,” she greets, like she always does, and he doesn’t respond, as ever, beyond a tilt of his head which might be acknowledgment. “I think you wanna be in our room today, Jane’s about to turn on the new spectrometer. Plus she might need you to give it a whack of it’s misbehaving.”

He takes her at her word and disappears.

“You work here?” Steve asks.

“Ah yeah, I’m Jane Foster’s assistant.”

His face breaks into a grin. “So you must be Darcy!”

She gives him a confused smile in return. “Correct. How’d you know?”

“Bucky’s mentioned you.”

That earns him an eyebrow raised. She’s amazed Bucky knows her name, never mind paid enough attention to mention it to Steve. It does mean he isn’t entirely silent though, which is a good sign. The second part of her perfect man equation is not meant to be taken entirely literally.

“I’m Steve, by the way.”

“Dude, I know who you are. The whole world does.”

He’s bashful in response, and Darcy decides then and there she will treat him like she’d treat anyone else. If their paths ever cross again, of course, which isn’t all that likely.

“You want to come watch the potential fireworks in Jane’s lab?”

“No, I really do have to find Tony. And science was always more Bucky’s thing than mine. See you around?”

“Sure. So long as I don’t find out you’re the asshole who’s been stealing Pop Tarts from the lab kitchen!”

He laughs as he walks away, and since there’s no sign of Tony she returns to doing some actual work.

Turns out she sees Steve much sooner than she expected. Wherever Tony was earlier, he’s obviously in the tower, as a couple of hours later there’s a summons sent via FRIDAY for all lab staff to head to the terrace at the very top of the tower.

“This sounds ominous,” Jane murmurs, and Darcy can only agree as they summon an elevator to take them all the way up, wrapping up in coats and scarves. Bucky joins them, and the tension in his body in the small space suggests he’s expecting shit to have gone sideways too.

Tony wearing a manic smile when they reach the terrace. It’s got a decent layer of snow on it—only a foot deep, but untrodden.

“Compulsory snowman building for all lab staff!” he announces. Jane mutters something under her breath, but Darcy’s thrilled to be out of the lab for a little while.

Bucky turns right around and gets back into the elevator, disappearing before Tony can argue with him.

“Did he not hear the word compulsory?” Tony asks.

“He doesn’t work in the labs,” Darcy reminds him, already staking out a good spot to start and sculpt her snowman.

It doesn’t take long for them to be joined by people from other areas of the tower—some vaguely familiar to Darcy though she tries not to gawp openly at the superheroes—and Steve is among them, instantly volunteering to help Jane and Darcy with their work of art.

When they’re done, fingers numbed in the cold, he invites them to whatever kitchen he tends to use, for grilled cheese and coffee.

“There’s not many people around at the moment,” he says, “I could do with the company.”

So they follow him and even Jane appears a little star-struck in his presence. And she was banging a god on the regular.

Steve’s right, there’s hardly anyone around—only one familiar head of dark hair and beard. She waves at Bucky this time rather than greeting him with words, and he does that twitch with his eyebrows that might mean “hello” or might mean “go away”.

“Missed you upstairs, Buck,” Steve says. “How come you didn’t join in?”

“Snow.” The word is little more than a grunt and carries a ton of meaning behind it.

Darcy can’t help herself. "You really hate the snow that much?"

Bucky looks at her, really looks at her for the first time, and it’s the kind of intense stare that probably makes his enemies cry for their mothers on the battlefield, but only makes her breath catch and her stomach flip.

“I hate the cold whatever form it comes in,” he says gruffly. “New York’s home but I’d rather be on a desert island. Had my fill of winter.”

It’s the most she’s ever heard him say, and she finds herself nodding along. Mostly because she put her foot in it, and is worried that if she responds with actual words she will need surgery to remove said appendage from her mouth. Of course the guy who famously spent decades in ice hates the cold.

“Looks like we might be in for months of it,” Steve says, as he turns on the grill and fetches ingredients from the refrigerator, “so unless you’re moving to that desert island, having a little fun with it isn’t such a bad thing.”

Bucky doesn’t say another word, silently demolishing three grilled cheeses of his own, but Steve proves to be good company, asking Jane about her work and regretting it, before moving onto a scathing review of the most hipster parts of Brooklyn.

Darcy says goodbye to Bucky when they leave, but it turns out he crept away without anyone noticing.

Steve turns up a lot over the next few weeks. Most of the time he’s looking for Tony, and when Stark can’t be found, he drops by Jane’s lab instead. Bucky is usually here—he’s almost a permanent fixture now—and though Steve doesn’t linger much, his company is easy. Darcy thinks he really is hurting for company, until she notices the way his gaze keeps returning to Jane’s face.

Now Darcy’s paying attention, she realizes Jane keeps glancing at Steve too.

Huh.

It makes sense though. Jane does seem to like them big and blond.

Darcy’s happy to play matchmaker for her friend, sliding away from conversations to give them privacy. She thinks she’s subtle, but one time she catches Bucky raising an eyebrow her way, shaking his head a little.

“What?” she mouths, but he seems to realized they’re making eye contact, and ducks his head to return his attention to his book. It’s one of Jane’s recommendations. The guy might be quiet and brooding, but he must be smart to follow it: Darcy tends to use them as sleep aids.

It seems Steve isn’t oblivious either. He tracks her down to the lab kitchen one afternoon under the pretense of borrowing some milk, but really it’s to sound out how Jane might feel about dinner.

“I’m not really sure how things stand with Thor…”

“Oh, that’s over,” Darcy reassures him. “In a friendly way, but it was all spark and no substance. Plus interspecies relationships are hard enough without adding in intergalactic travel.”

“Good. That’s good. I was wondering if—”

“There’s this Japanese place in the Financial District she’s been trying to get a table at forever, but apparently a Nobel Prize doesn’t open as many doors as you’d think. If, say, Pepper could get a booking for two, I know Jane would jump at the chance to go.”

“I can do that.”

“Let me find you their details,” Darcy replies, already loading the search function on her Starkphone.

“While we’re sort of on the subject—I know Bucky doesn’t say much, and he’d kill me for talking about this, but he’s sweet on someone too.”

She frowns down at her phone and refuses to look up at Steve. If he’s about to ask her on how to help his friend to hook up with his crush, she’s going to have to politely decline. That’s a level of masochism she’s not willing to sink to.

“Uh huh,” is all she manages. “You got somewhere to note this down?”

“Darcy,” Steve says softly, “it’s you.”

That makes her look up, if only in confusion. “What’s me? If I tell you the name of this place, I suppose you can work out how to find it yourself.”

“You’re the girl Bucky’s sweet on.”

She blinks a few times. “So, uh, maybe you could just write the name on your hand?”

Steve sighs. “Why do you think he’s spending so much time in Jane’s lab?”

“He likes science.”

“He does,” Steve agrees. “But not as much as he likes you. Because you’re all he talks about.”

“Oh.” Actually, this explains how Steve knew her name when they first met. “Huh.”

“And you like him.”

“Well, he’s nice to look at. He’s pretty taciturn though.”

Steve gives her a stern look which has a glimmer of amusement behind it. “I know you like him more than that.”

Darcy tries to deflect. “So what has Bucky actually said about me? How do I know you’re not jumping to conclusions?”

“I’ve been his best friend since the 1920s. I know what it looks like when he’s carrying a torch for a girl.”

“Okay, so why are you telling me this?”

“Because he won’t do anything about it.”

“You want me to make the first move,” she says blandly.

“Or you could give him an encouraging sign? He’s still learning how to function as a person again, and I think you’d be great for him. He just needs a little help getting there. Right now, he’s too wrapped up in seventy years of misery.”

“I don’t know. If he thinks he’s not ready to start dating again, I don’t want to push him.” She also doesn’t want to put herself out there in a way which is going to get her heart stomped on.

“Just continue making him feel comfortable in the lab, like you do for me. Talk to him, even if he doesn’t talk back. Treat him like a person.”

Darcy chews her lip but finally relents with a nod. “I better not end up regretting this,” she warns Steve.

“You won’t,” he promises with a soft smile, and dashes away to see Pepper about getting a table booked.

December arrives with a lot of darkness but not much in the way of snow. There’s a ton of rain and Darcy’s okay with that so long as she doesn’t have to leave the tower to go out into it.

Overnight the tower is transformed, dripping with decorations in every corridor and every room. Not all of them are Christmas decorations, either, as Stark Industries seems to have made an effort to incorporate most of the main religious festivals: Hanukkah, Kwanzaa, Yule, even Festivus.

Darcy has to explain that one to Steve and Bucky.

She’s done as Steve asked, openly talking to Bucky when he’s in the lab, but she still gets little response from him beyond a grunt or two. Undeterred, she’s taken to sitting at his preferred table when she’s typing up Jane’s notes, or doing a little knitting when Jane is lost in her own brain and hasn’t given Darcy anything to do.

It’s the latter which finally coaxed something out of Bucky.

“People still do that?” he asks, nodding at the motion of her needles. “Thought you could buy everything nowadays.”

“It’s soothing,” she replies. “Besides, sure you can buy scarves and sweaters, but if I knit something, it’s unique.”

That seems to be the end of it, but she resolves to make him a nice chunky scarf and glove set. If he hates the cold, she can help him keep warm. That project she only works on in the secrecy of her apartment, but she’s got plenty of time to knit in the lab, because Bucky’s taken over the task of transcribing Jane’s notes. He’s a slow typist but he reads Jane’s notes faster than Darcy does, and once she recommends an online typing course he picks up speed.

She leaves his gift on top of the latest pile of books Jane leaves out, and makes sure she’s away from the table when he arrives, poking around with a screwdriver at a malfunctioning circuit board.

He freezes when he sees the pile of gifts, then reaches out to touch them with his right arm. His hand doesn’t quite make it—he snatches it away as if it might get burned—and he looks across the lab at her with wide eyes and a visible swallow.

She meets his gaze and smiles at him.

“To keep you warm,” she says, then returns her attention to the circuit board.

If Steve wanted her to give Bucky a sign, she thinks she’s done what was asked. The ball is now firmly in Bucky’s court. And when she takes the knitted set as well as the books when he leaves the lab, she counts it as a victory.

One of the downsides to all of the festive decorations is that there is mistletoe every-frigging-where. Worse, it seems to move overnight, as if FRIDAY is trying to catch people out through complacency. She probably is, on Tony’s orders. Darcy’s already exchanged five pecks with Jane as they come and go from the lab, and she’s even had to give Steve a few cheek kisses. It’s more tedious than titillating at this point.

That she might meet Bucky under one of the sprigs doesn’t even cross her mind: he slinks to and from the lab at unpredictable times, never crossing paths with anyone else.  

Yet now she finds herself staring up at the ceiling with her hands on her hips, ready to tear FRIDAY a new one. The sprig definitely wasn’t there this morning. She’s pretty sure it wasn’t even there five minutes ago, but when Bucky walks over to pick up Jane’s newest notes from Darcy’s station, his head is brushed by green tendrils. Both of them look up to find mistletoe dangling above them.

Her mouth goes dry at the thought. She can see Bucky’s breathing deepen, his chest rising and falling, and when she glances away his hand twitches around the notes.

She licks her lips. It’s involuntary, and she doesn’t want to call it anticipatory, even as she can feel his stare on her mouth as she does it. She has to flick her own gaze up to meet his, and for a moment it feels like they’re falling towards each other, drawn together by an invisible force that wants their lips to connect.

Except it must be her imagination. She lets her eyes drifts shut, feels something brush her cheek—silky and scratchy at the same time—and when she opens her eyes again she’s alone in the lab.

Bucky’s gone.

He doesn’t return to the lab before she goes home for Hanukkah, and it’s making it weird. If he’d come back that day, or the next, Darcy could have brushed off the mistletoe incident. She was all prepared to make jokes about it being nice not having to kiss Jane again, but the longer she goes without seeing him, the more it feels like something fundamental has changed. She worries he might not come back at all.

In the meantime, it feels like her cheeks been branded where he kissed it. She figures that’s what she felt, his beard against her skin, and now it feels like she’s constantly having flashbacks to the sensation. Like phantom beard syndrome.

Jane’s as frustrated by Bucky’s absence as Darcy is, even if she’s oblivious to the reason why. Darcy doesn’t catch Jane’s notation errors like Bucky apparently sometimes managed to so Jane’s had to go back to checking over the typed-up work to make sure it’s all correct. But Darcy can’t explain away his absence, not without admitting more to Jane than she wants to right now. The only saving grace is upcoming vacation time.

Another of the perks of working for Stark Industries is the overly generous vacation allowance. Darcy gets to spend two whole weeks with her family back in Ohio, and she’s ready for a break from the city. It’s only when she gets to JFK that she realizes her love of winter is going to bite her in the ass.

There’s a snowstorm. Blizzard seems a little melodramatic, but the amount of white stuff pouring from the sky is enough to get all flights out canceled for the next couple of days. The line for a cab is a mile long, and isn’t moving because few cabs are actually turning up. She breaks a lifelong vow and downloads the Uber app, only to discover all their drivers aren’t coming out into the snow either. Even the AirTrain has ground to a standstill.

She rings up the tower to beg for a lift from somebody. Jane’s already left for Hanukkah in London with her mother, so Darcy’s left ringing around other lab assistants and finally leaves a pleading message with FRIDAY.

Her Starkphone beeps a moment later. Someone will be with you as soon as possible, Miss Lewis, the AI confirms.

She trudges her way to the pick-up point, lurking inside until another bleep on her phone notifies her that her ride has arrived. She shuffles out to find an SUV waiting—one of the Stark fleet—with the plates FRIDAY has confirmed, and the driver rushes out to help her with her luggage. He’s all bundled up in black, the hood of his coat shielding his face , and she thinks nothing of it until she’s settled in the passenger seat, holding her hands up to the heating vents.

“I hope this passes quickly,” she says to the driver as he climbs back in, trying to spark a conversation “I can get a later flight out to my family, but I don’t want to miss another Hanukkah—I already spent the last few overseas.”

He makes a noncommittal sound in his throat, and the hood drops away to reveal Bucky. The beard’s been reduced to a scattering of stubble, which is why it wasn’t so obvious to her outside.

“Oh. Hi.” She belatedly pastes a smile onto her face. “How come you got lumbered with picking me up?”

“Nobody else was available.”

She’s not sure if he means it as bluntly as she says it. All she can manage is another “oh”, then she turns to face the window, watching the world pass in churned up snow and more falling flakes.

He’s a careful driver, or has the skill to keep the car on terra firma even when she can see conditions aren’t the best. She wasn’t expecting much in the way of conversation from him anyway, but she can forgive him for his silence tonight if he’s concentrating.

Only when they pull into the underground garage below Stark Tower does the pressure return for her to speak. They’re left in momentary darkness as he kills the engine, and she can hear her own breath hitch in the ensuing silence. Then the external lights are turned on by FRIDAY, and they’re sitting in shadows within the car.

She expects him to bolt again, but instead neither of them makes a move. She studies his face, even as he does not look at her, and she can’t read him at all. The shadows does wonderful things for him: highlighting his cheekbones, and the sharpness of his jaw, and the plushness of his mouth.

She’s staring at his mouth again.

“Thanks for picking me up,” she mumbles. Then, because she might not get another opportunity to say it, “You shouldn’t avoid the labs just because of a little bit of greenery. Jane misses you.” She takes a deep breath. “I miss you. And I think you enjoyed helping us, so it’s a silly thing to avoid us over.”

“S’more than that.” He speaks so quietly that if they weren’t in the complete silence of the garage, she doesn’t think she’d be able to hear him. And he does, eventually, look at her. “You know why.”

His eyes are black in the half-light, and there’s more of her reflected in them than anything else. But he’s being honest with her, so she needs to return the favor.

“I do. But you know it’s reciprocal, don’t you?”

Like that, he’s shuttered once more, gaze back on the steering wheel. “It’s more complicated than that. I’m too complicated.”

She doesn’t know how to go about unpacking that. She squelches the urge to be flippant, because he deserves more than that. “Most people are,” she says quietly. “But maybe I’m not looking for some heavy, intense deal. Maybe I’m just looking to connect with another person.  Get to know them, see if we click, see if we’re good at keeping each other company. It doesn’t have to be more complicated than that.”

He lets out a shaky breath. “I don’t know if I can do that.”

“You won’t until you try.”

He doesn’t respond to that. She straightens herself, steeling to leave. “Here’s the deal. Stark’s holding his usual New Year shindig up in the penthouse. I’ll be back for that. I doubt you were planning on going, but if you want to give this thing a chance, you can meet me on the terrace at five to midnight. If you don’t turn up, I won’t hold it against you. Hell, I’ll even send Steve to drag you back into the labs if you keep avoiding us. But the offer’s there.”

She’s out of the car before he can say anything else.

The party’s a little tame by Tony’s standards. It’s probably because he’s not drinking and Pepper’s the one in charge, so it’s all very tasteful. Darcy mingles, at first with Jane, then splitting off when Steve arrives and the pair start making goo-goo eyes at each other.

Their dinner date went well. Better than well. Darcy thinks Jane might be trying to decide what baby names go best with “Foster-Rogers”.

On her part, Darcy switches between soda and champagne, trying to keep a clear head by scoffing plenty of the hors d’oeuvres circulating the room. She knows Bucky isn’t here and if he does come, it won’t be before the time she’d stated. It doesn’t make her any less aware of every corner of the room, even as she’s trying to make polite conversation with Zane from Accounts.

Outside, the sky has decided to grace them with even more snow.

Then, terrifyingly, Darcy ends up surrounded by Avengers. She gets dragged over by Jane when she’s distracted—“Come and meet everyone, Darce!”—and before she knows it, she’s wedged on a sofa between people she’s seen doing terrifying, wonderful things on TV. Sure, she already knows Steve and Tony (and Thor, but he’s not here), but it’s dizzying to be introduced to people under the unassuming names of “Clint”, “Wanda”, “Nat”, and “Sam”.

Truthfully, it’s the women who terrify her. Natasha Romanoff is more interested in Darcy than she should be, all wolfish smiles and pertinent questions, which triggers a faint reminder that she has history with Bucky. Meanwhile, Wanda Maximoff looks through her as much as she looks at her, and though Darcy can’t feel her rummaging around in her head, she’s slightly worried it’s happening anyway.

Then the two women share smiles and it’s like Darcy’s passed a test. After that, they keep her wrapped up in conversation, plying her with bite-sized desserts and fancy soda.

It’s only when Tony sends out the call at ten minutes to midnight—“You’d all better have a glass ready!”—that she makes excuses to visit the bathroom and sneaks out. Nobody’s gone out on the terrace despite the door being unlocked because it’s just so damn cold, but Darcy retrieves her coat from the cloakroom and slips out anyway.

She finds a quiet corner away from the main windows, knowing Bucky won’t like being overlooked if he does turn up. It’s not like she wants an audience either. She’s shivering even as she shoves her hands into her pockets, and it’s from nerves as much as anything.

She stands facing out to the city, letting the snow settle over her, enjoying the way it blankets everything in a little measure of hush that’s so rare. At midnight, she’ll be alone, but at least she’ll have a good view of the fireworks.

Then she hears a breath behind her—no footsteps, not even crunching in the snow, only a soft sigh. Darcy turns, and Bucky’s there, the softness reflected in his entire being. She’s never seen him not be tense, but tonight he’s free of it, almost on the verge of smiling.

“I thought you weren’t going to come,” she whispers. “The snow—”

“It’s not so bad,” he replies, and the corner of his mouth does crook upwards. “Might even be worth it.”

She holds her own breath, waiting for him to go on, imploring and impatient.

“A chance, you said.” His voice is low, hesitant. He reaches out and takes one of her hands, rubbing it between his own to generate a little warmth. He’s wearing the gloves she made for him. And the scarf. If she weren’t so cold, she’d melt at his feet. “Some company. A connection. I think I can do that. I think I can try.”

She’s nodding at him encouragingly, and that force she’d felt before, under the mistletoe, is back. Drawing them together, toe to toe, so close she can feel the heat from his body. He smiles at her, fully smiles, and she’s so taken aback she has to sway into him for support. Doesn’t matter; he’s ready to catch her, drawing an arm around her waist to keep her close, pressing their foreheads together.

Behind her, fireworks begin to signal the new year. Darcy has something to say, but then Bucky’s mouth is on hers, ringing in the new year in the best way possible.

Talking can wait. There are other ways to make a connection.

The prompts are:

What about Avengers Tower AU (my fav fannon for how it should all be, all dem bois in the tower and everything iS FINE O k) and a snowy New York, and I have a dialogue prompt to go with it: "You really hate the snow that much?" (In my head its Darcy asking Bucky, but you could do it the other way around, too!) - @coffin-dust

Oooh! How about someone taking up knitting? (bonus points if it's Bucky) - @librarian-amy

I heard a rumor you want prompts!! For winter weather, all my little Aussie soul gets around here is fog, but I do remember snow from my childhood in Tasmania, so maybe snowfall?? - @ibelieveinturtles

Darcy and Bucky caught under the mistletoe. She's for it but he bolts. - anon

Darcy's flight home got canceled because of a snow storm and she doesn't have a car to go back to the tower so she asks Jarvis to send someone to get her. Everyone already had plans and Bucky's the only one available. - anon

[samuelfields]

[Video] 80/20 Rule: Making Your Dream Job a Reality

Imagine landing your dream job with all the unnecessary doubt, indecision, and effort removed from the process. 

Imagine making it happen in just one-fifth of the time it might normally take.

Nope, we’re not suggesting a miracle cognition drug, cybernetic brain implants, or an aggressive juice cleanse. Instead, we want to draw your attention to a simple idea known as the Pareto Principle, or the 80/20 Rule. This odd quirk of human experience posits that roughly 80% of a given activity’s meaningful consequences come from just 20% of the causes. 

So, imagine sitting in a movie theater (remember when that was a thing?). The 80/20 Rule suggests that around four-fifths of your enjoyment will come from just one-fifth of the movie — all those climactic scenes most of the story builds up to. The rule applies to bad stuff too. Think of all those annoying candy wrapper crinklers chowing down on Junior Mints during those same memorable scenes. Again, this rule would tell us that around 80% of that annoying noise was caused by just 20% of the movie-watchers.  

It’s a generalization of course, but it sounds about right doesn’t it? 

We don’t live in a neat universe where results always happen in a straight line. More often than not, just a few critical factors make all the difference, whether for good or bad. If you geek out on efficiency theory you can grab a coffee along with your cookie of choice and learn all about the 80/20 rule here and how it applies to all manner of corners of industry and productivity science.

In Ramit’s video, ‘The 80/20 Guide to Finding a Job You Love,’ he’ll grab on to this concept and zero in on you, your career, and one pointily practical question… 

Can the 80/20 rule help you land your dream job?

Or let’s put it another way. Can we just get rid of the 80% of largely unimportant stuff, and focus right in on those few critical turning points that can land you a richer working life? 

We’re convinced the answer is yes … if you’re willing to ditch unhelpful mindsets that lurk in the 80% unproductive zone. Let’s look at a few examples of how just a few changes can make a huge difference as you look for your dream job. 

1. Ignore broad and vague career advice: Get specific

We’ve all had that person in our lives who offers pointless encouragement because they’re trying to help. 

“You can do it!” Gee, thanks. How?

“Get well soon!” Great idea! My plan was to get well slowly.

These people mean well, but platitudes like this come from those who want to help but have no clue how. Unfortunately, conventional career guidance is littered with the same vague solutions. These fuzzy directions mean next to nothing and get you next to nowhere. 

You know the deal: 

Find your passion! Cool. But what does that process actually look like?

Renegotiate your salary! Genius plan. How?

These are time-wasters that’ll consign your approach to the unproductive 80% of the 80/20 equation. 

Watch for these broad statements, and recognize them for what they are: a well-meaning impulse. What they’re decidedly not is a blueprint. You can waste a lot of time flailing about, trying to interpret, and act on these career advice equivalents of a “get well soon” card or an awkwardly executed fist bump. 

Here’s the important part though. Don’t just reject broad and unhelpful advice when it comes from someone else. That’s the easy part. The tricky part is to systematically reject a cookie-cutter mindset. 

So, how do you approach career-hunting focusing on the critical 20%?

Commit to defining exactly what you want

Conventional career-hunting advice is to send your resume to every job opportunity you see — and that might actually make sense if you’d be happy taking any job. But that’s not your goal. Your goal is to get up in the morning eager to clock-in and do your thing.

To find your dream job you’ll need to get specific: 

What job do you want? Name it. Have the courage to exclude the ones you don’t.

What size company? Where is it located? Be grittily granular.

… And here’s the really important one … 

What kinds of skills and experience do you need to land it? Quantify how you get there.

Everything in your resume and pitch should be hyper-focused on the answers you give to these questions. If you can do that, two things happen. First, you save time by no longer applying for dodgy jobs you don’t want anyway. Second, you make yourself look like a better employment prospect to the companies that actually count.

Get started in 15 minutes or less

Here are a couple of things you can do right now to get specific:

Grab a sheet of paper and split it into 2 columns. In the first column list everything you know about what your dream job looks like. In column 2, bullet out the key characteristics of the kinds of jobs you don’t want. Stick this paper somewhere prominent as a daily reminder. 

Grab a red pen (OK purple will do if red ink is scary). Go through every line of your current resume and scratch out generic, hedging, or vague statements. If it isn’t about the job you actually want, ditch it. 

Congratulations. You just shifted your energy to that critical 20%. 

2. Discard self-sabotage: Believe you’re right for the role

This might sound a bit “Dr. Phil” at first glance, but hear us out. We’re not suggesting something quite so asinine and patronizing as the idea that great self-esteem and chutzpah is all you need to land you a dream job. That’s dumb. Also, see point 1.

What we are saying though is that many job-seekers accidentally absorb a defeatist mindset. In fact, it happens to the best of us. Here’s the kind of self-sabotaging thoughts we’re talking about:

“I’m not qualified. Before I can even think about a new job I need to go back to school.”

“I’m lucky to have any job in this economy.”

“I should wait until COVID-19 and murder hornets go away before any big life changes.”

Don’t get us wrong. These thoughts aren’t stupid.

Skilling up is good! And of course, macroeconomics and other unpredictable variables are all real things that affect how your dream job search will play out. But none of these considerations (along with the myriad other excuses out there) need stop you from taking meaningful steps in the right direction … right now.

These ideas all have one thing in common. They push you to reflect on all the reasons why now isn’t a good time; why you’re not ready yet; why the world is just too scary a place to do something bold and daring like pursuing your dream.

Believe change is possible

OK, OK, we’ll throw the obvious mind shift out there first. 

You do need to believe in yourself to make good stuff happen. There. Satisfied, Dr. Phil? It’s on a billion fridge magnets for good reason. Whatever you need to do to get inspired that you can and should pursue a career that’d make you happy and enriched, go out and get that thing, stick a magnet on it, and slap it on your fridge. 

Life’s too short. 

But don’t just get inspired; get aspirational. 

Time constraints, economic downturns, and yes, even venom-spitting murder hornets will always be out there. Either you aspire to find a job you love despite these and a plethora of equally sucky things, or you resign yourself to a permanent state of waiting. 

At least door one goes somewhere. Door two leads to the eternal thought-muzak of life’s waiting room. That serendipitous 20% zone can only happen when you abandon a resignation mindset.

Get started in 15 minutes or less

So you want to stop polluting your brain and your approach with self-defeating ideas? Got any spare paper lying around? Grab it!

Jot down every excuse or statement of resignation the self-defeatist side of your psyche (we all have one!) can muster. 

Now write a response to each of these naysaying urges. Where you feel an obstacle is real, write down how you can overcome it. Start making tangible plans.  

3. Reject passivity: Pursue crucial situations and people

This all circles around to the absolute importance of kicking passivity to the curb. 

Think back to the 80/20 Rule for a moment: The idea that most of the biggest changes that’ll happen in your life boil down to a relatively slim sliver of critical crux points. 

If you buy into this particular quirk of the universe, being awake for those moments suddenly becomes vitally important, right? 

Yet the vast majority of people that are searching for their dream job hand the responsibility for delivering those all-or-nothing flash-points to someone else. Career-hunting passivity is everywhere, and takes many forms, like:

Trusting a job search algorithm to guide your job search.

Sending out a resume and desperately hoping the HR team gets back to you one day.

Relying on a recruiter to convince your dream company to give you a shot.

Laziness of this ilk squanders not one, but two of your most valuable resources. 

One: Obviously, you’re wasting your time. We probably don’t need to offer too much exposition here on why metaphorically cramming filet mignon into a Mcdonald’s meat-grinder is unlikely to produce optimal results.

But you can’t overlook the negative knock-on effects on your motivation. You’re spinning headlong into a negative spiral here — where a perfect storm of rejection emails, lack of actionable data, and no real clue about what to do differently next time robs you of any desire to continue.

Why do this to yourself?

Passivity breeds failure, which in turn leads to the slow and abysmal process of … well … just giving up. The “80-percenter-zone” is a gray realm of mental laziness — of endlessly doing the same thing while expecting suddenly different results to miraculously manifest from miasmic mundanity. No.

So, what does “different” look like?

Zig when they zag

An active and engaged process of finding your dream job isn’t just about being smart — although, no big surprises here — smart people are generally better at finding useful shortcuts. It’s also about using your creativity and your passion to zig when other folks zag. 

What do we mean by that?

Testing your approach: So you threw your metaphorical filet mignon into the algorithmic meat grinder and you got a dry and tasteless meat patty and an unconvincing dill pickle for your pains. If you’re switched on, you’ll chalk that up as a failed experiment and learn from it. Testing your approaches and efficiently learning from mistakes will help you avoid wasting a “rare” opportunity. 

Looking beyond the low hanging fruit: The best jobs aren’t advertised. They’re made and won behind the scenes, far beyond your reach if you’re confining your hunt to generic online search tools. Like Poirot (or Angela Lansbury if you’re seeking employment in the Cabot Cove metropolitan area), dig deeper. Keen detective work may be in order. 

Get started in 15 minutes or less

Recognize you have a bit of a passive streak as a job hunter? Good news: no red pens are required for this one.

Can you find employees and HR managers of places you’d love to work on LinkedIn? The best time to begin assembling information about how your dream employer operates is right now — yep, before an interview is even a glimmer on the horizon. 

Think of three companies where you’d love to work and follow them on social media. Do some online detective work to learn their lingo and build a clear picture of who they’re recruiting for and why. Make Angela proud. 

“Why should we hire you?”

That’s exactly the question we intend to help you answer when you find yourself sitting in the interview hot seat for your shot at the career you’ve always wanted. 

At this moment, when that crucial question hits, the next few words out of your mouth will need to show (not tell) your interviewer why you’re ideal for their company. These words will need to prove (not plead) your case. These words have to be steeped in the company’s language and be rich with strategy, foresight, and seasoned introspection. 

Imagine feeling calm, the perfect answer spilling out of your mouth as you seal the deal on a career path you were made for. 

We can help you shine in that pivotal, all-or-nothing moment.   

        [Video] 80/20 Rule: Making Your Dream Job a Reality is a post from: I Will Teach You To Be Rich.

from Finance https://www.iwillteachyoutoberich.com/blog/80-20-rule-for-finding-your-dream-job/ via http://www.rssmix.com/

[mcjoelcain]

[Video] 80/20 Rule: Making Your Dream Job a Reality

Imagine landing your dream job with all the unnecessary doubt, indecision, and effort removed from the process. 

Imagine making it happen in just one-fifth of the time it might normally take.

Nope, we’re not suggesting a miracle cognition drug, cybernetic brain implants, or an aggressive juice cleanse. Instead, we want to draw your attention to a simple idea known as the Pareto Principle, or the 80/20 Rule. This odd quirk of human experience posits that roughly 80% of a given activity’s meaningful consequences come from just 20% of the causes. 

So, imagine sitting in a movie theater (remember when that was a thing?). The 80/20 Rule suggests that around four-fifths of your enjoyment will come from just one-fifth of the movie — all those climactic scenes most of the story builds up to. The rule applies to bad stuff too. Think of all those annoying candy wrapper crinklers chowing down on Junior Mints during those same memorable scenes. Again, this rule would tell us that around 80% of that annoying noise was caused by just 20% of the movie-watchers.  

It’s a generalization of course, but it sounds about right doesn’t it? 

We don’t live in a neat universe where results always happen in a straight line. More often than not, just a few critical factors make all the difference, whether for good or bad. If you geek out on efficiency theory you can grab a coffee along with your cookie of choice and learn all about the 80/20 rule here and how it applies to all manner of corners of industry and productivity science.

In Ramit’s video, ‘The 80/20 Guide to Finding a Job You Love,’ he’ll grab on to this concept and zero in on you, your career, and one pointily practical question… 

Can the 80/20 rule help you land your dream job?

Or let’s put it another way. Can we just get rid of the 80% of largely unimportant stuff, and focus right in on those few critical turning points that can land you a richer working life? 

We’re convinced the answer is yes … if you’re willing to ditch unhelpful mindsets that lurk in the 80% unproductive zone. Let’s look at a few examples of how just a few changes can make a huge difference as you look for your dream job. 

1. Ignore broad and vague career advice: Get specific

We’ve all had that person in our lives who offers pointless encouragement because they’re trying to help. 

“You can do it!” Gee, thanks. How?

“Get well soon!” Great idea! My plan was to get well slowly.

These people mean well, but platitudes like this come from those who want to help but have no clue how. Unfortunately, conventional career guidance is littered with the same vague solutions. These fuzzy directions mean next to nothing and get you next to nowhere. 

You know the deal: 

Find your passion! Cool. But what does that process actually look like?

Renegotiate your salary! Genius plan. How?

These are time-wasters that’ll consign your approach to the unproductive 80% of the 80/20 equation. 

Watch for these broad statements, and recognize them for what they are: a well-meaning impulse. What they’re decidedly not is a blueprint. You can waste a lot of time flailing about, trying to interpret, and act on these career advice equivalents of a “get well soon” card or an awkwardly executed fist bump. 

Here’s the important part though. Don’t just reject broad and unhelpful advice when it comes from someone else. That’s the easy part. The tricky part is to systematically reject a cookie-cutter mindset. 

So, how do you approach career-hunting focusing on the critical 20%?

Commit to defining exactly what you want

Conventional career-hunting advice is to send your resume to every job opportunity you see — and that might actually make sense if you’d be happy taking any job. But that’s not your goal. Your goal is to get up in the morning eager to clock-in and do your thing.

To find your dream job you’ll need to get specific: 

What job do you want? Name it. Have the courage to exclude the ones you don’t.

What size company? Where is it located? Be grittily granular.

… And here’s the really important one … 

What kinds of skills and experience do you need to land it? Quantify how you get there.

Everything in your resume and pitch should be hyper-focused on the answers you give to these questions. If you can do that, two things happen. First, you save time by no longer applying for dodgy jobs you don’t want anyway. Second, you make yourself look like a better employment prospect to the companies that actually count.

Get started in 15 minutes or less

Here are a couple of things you can do right now to get specific:

Grab a sheet of paper and split it into 2 columns. In the first column list everything you know about what your dream job looks like. In column 2, bullet out the key characteristics of the kinds of jobs you don’t want. Stick this paper somewhere prominent as a daily reminder. 

Grab a red pen (OK purple will do if red ink is scary). Go through every line of your current resume and scratch out generic, hedging, or vague statements. If it isn’t about the job you actually want, ditch it. 

Congratulations. You just shifted your energy to that critical 20%. 

2. Discard self-sabotage: Believe you’re right for the role

This might sound a bit “Dr. Phil” at first glance, but hear us out. We’re not suggesting something quite so asinine and patronizing as the idea that great self-esteem and chutzpah is all you need to land you a dream job. That’s dumb. Also, see point 1.

What we are saying though is that many job-seekers accidentally absorb a defeatist mindset. In fact, it happens to the best of us. Here’s the kind of self-sabotaging thoughts we’re talking about:

“I’m not qualified. Before I can even think about a new job I need to go back to school.”

“I’m lucky to have any job in this economy.”

“I should wait until COVID-19 and murder hornets go away before any big life changes.”

Don’t get us wrong. These thoughts aren’t stupid.

Skilling up is good! And of course, macroeconomics and other unpredictable variables are all real things that affect how your dream job search will play out. But none of these considerations (along with the myriad other excuses out there) need stop you from taking meaningful steps in the right direction … right now.

These ideas all have one thing in common. They push you to reflect on all the reasons why now isn’t a good time; why you’re not ready yet; why the world is just too scary a place to do something bold and daring like pursuing your dream.

Believe change is possible

OK, OK, we’ll throw the obvious mind shift out there first. 

You do need to believe in yourself to make good stuff happen. There. Satisfied, Dr. Phil? It’s on a billion fridge magnets for good reason. Whatever you need to do to get inspired that you can and should pursue a career that’d make you happy and enriched, go out and get that thing, stick a magnet on it, and slap it on your fridge. 

Life’s too short. 

But don’t just get inspired; get aspirational. 

Time constraints, economic downturns, and yes, even venom-spitting murder hornets will always be out there. Either you aspire to find a job you love despite these and a plethora of equally sucky things, or you resign yourself to a permanent state of waiting. 

At least door one goes somewhere. Door two leads to the eternal thought-muzak of life’s waiting room. That serendipitous 20% zone can only happen when you abandon a resignation mindset.

Get started in 15 minutes or less

So you want to stop polluting your brain and your approach with self-defeating ideas? Got any spare paper lying around? Grab it!

Jot down every excuse or statement of resignation the self-defeatist side of your psyche (we all have one!) can muster. 

Now write a response to each of these naysaying urges. Where you feel an obstacle is real, write down how you can overcome it. Start making tangible plans.  

3. Reject passivity: Pursue crucial situations and people

This all circles around to the absolute importance of kicking passivity to the curb. 

Think back to the 80/20 Rule for a moment: The idea that most of the biggest changes that’ll happen in your life boil down to a relatively slim sliver of critical crux points. 

If you buy into this particular quirk of the universe, being awake for those moments suddenly becomes vitally important, right? 

Yet the vast majority of people that are searching for their dream job hand the responsibility for delivering those all-or-nothing flash-points to someone else. Career-hunting passivity is everywhere, and takes many forms, like:

Trusting a job search algorithm to guide your job search.

Sending out a resume and desperately hoping the HR team gets back to you one day.

Relying on a recruiter to convince your dream company to give you a shot.

Laziness of this ilk squanders not one, but two of your most valuable resources. 

One: Obviously, you’re wasting your time. We probably don’t need to offer too much exposition here on why metaphorically cramming filet mignon into a Mcdonald’s meat-grinder is unlikely to produce optimal results.

But you can’t overlook the negative knock-on effects on your motivation. You’re spinning headlong into a negative spiral here — where a perfect storm of rejection emails, lack of actionable data, and no real clue about what to do differently next time robs you of any desire to continue.

Why do this to yourself?

Passivity breeds failure, which in turn leads to the slow and abysmal process of … well … just giving up. The “80-percenter-zone” is a gray realm of mental laziness — of endlessly doing the same thing while expecting suddenly different results to miraculously manifest from miasmic mundanity. No.

So, what does “different” look like?

Zig when they zag

An active and engaged process of finding your dream job isn’t just about being smart — although, no big surprises here — smart people are generally better at finding useful shortcuts. It’s also about using your creativity and your passion to zig when other folks zag. 

What do we mean by that?

Testing your approach: So you threw your metaphorical filet mignon into the algorithmic meat grinder and you got a dry and tasteless meat patty and an unconvincing dill pickle for your pains. If you’re switched on, you’ll chalk that up as a failed experiment and learn from it. Testing your approaches and efficiently learning from mistakes will help you avoid wasting a “rare” opportunity. 

Looking beyond the low hanging fruit: The best jobs aren’t advertised. They’re made and won behind the scenes, far beyond your reach if you’re confining your hunt to generic online search tools. Like Poirot (or Angela Lansbury if you’re seeking employment in the Cabot Cove metropolitan area), dig deeper. Keen detective work may be in order. 

Get started in 15 minutes or less

Recognize you have a bit of a passive streak as a job hunter? Good news: no red pens are required for this one.

Can you find employees and HR managers of places you’d love to work on LinkedIn? The best time to begin assembling information about how your dream employer operates is right now — yep, before an interview is even a glimmer on the horizon. 

Think of three companies where you’d love to work and follow them on social media. Do some online detective work to learn their lingo and build a clear picture of who they’re recruiting for and why. Make Angela proud. 

“Why should we hire you?”

That’s exactly the question we intend to help you answer when you find yourself sitting in the interview hot seat for your shot at the career you’ve always wanted. 

At this moment, when that crucial question hits, the next few words out of your mouth will need to show (not tell) your interviewer why you’re ideal for their company. These words will need to prove (not plead) your case. These words have to be steeped in the company’s language and be rich with strategy, foresight, and seasoned introspection. 

Imagine feeling calm, the perfect answer spilling out of your mouth as you seal the deal on a career path you were made for. 

We can help you shine in that pivotal, all-or-nothing moment.   

        [Video] 80/20 Rule: Making Your Dream Job a Reality is a post from: I Will Teach You To Be Rich.

from Money https://www.iwillteachyoutoberich.com/blog/80-20-rule-for-finding-your-dream-job/ via http://www.rssmix.com/

[kennethherrerablog]

[Video] 80/20 Rule: Making Your Dream Job a Reality

Imagine landing your dream job with all the unnecessary doubt, indecision, and effort removed from the process. 

Imagine making it happen in just one-fifth of the time it might normally take.

Nope, we’re not suggesting a miracle cognition drug, cybernetic brain implants, or an aggressive juice cleanse. Instead, we want to draw your attention to a simple idea known as the Pareto Principle, or the 80/20 Rule. This odd quirk of human experience posits that roughly 80% of a given activity’s meaningful consequences come from just 20% of the causes. 

So, imagine sitting in a movie theater (remember when that was a thing?). The 80/20 Rule suggests that around four-fifths of your enjoyment will come from just one-fifth of the movie — all those climactic scenes most of the story builds up to. The rule applies to bad stuff too. Think of all those annoying candy wrapper crinklers chowing down on Junior Mints during those same memorable scenes. Again, this rule would tell us that around 80% of that annoying noise was caused by just 20% of the movie-watchers.  

It’s a generalization of course, but it sounds about right doesn’t it? 

We don’t live in a neat universe where results always happen in a straight line. More often than not, just a few critical factors make all the difference, whether for good or bad. If you geek out on efficiency theory you can grab a coffee along with your cookie of choice and learn all about the 80/20 rule here and how it applies to all manner of corners of industry and productivity science.

In Ramit’s video, ‘The 80/20 Guide to Finding a Job You Love,’ he’ll grab on to this concept and zero in on you, your career, and one pointily practical question… 

Can the 80/20 rule help you land your dream job?

Or let’s put it another way. Can we just get rid of the 80% of largely unimportant stuff, and focus right in on those few critical turning points that can land you a richer working life? 

We’re convinced the answer is yes … if you’re willing to ditch unhelpful mindsets that lurk in the 80% unproductive zone. Let’s look at a few examples of how just a few changes can make a huge difference as you look for your dream job. 

1. Ignore broad and vague career advice: Get specific

We’ve all had that person in our lives who offers pointless encouragement because they’re trying to help. 

“You can do it!” Gee, thanks. How?

“Get well soon!” Great idea! My plan was to get well slowly.

These people mean well, but platitudes like this come from those who want to help but have no clue how. Unfortunately, conventional career guidance is littered with the same vague solutions. These fuzzy directions mean next to nothing and get you next to nowhere. 

You know the deal: 

Find your passion! Cool. But what does that process actually look like?

Renegotiate your salary! Genius plan. How?

These are time-wasters that’ll consign your approach to the unproductive 80% of the 80/20 equation. 

Watch for these broad statements, and recognize them for what they are: a well-meaning impulse. What they’re decidedly not is a blueprint. You can waste a lot of time flailing about, trying to interpret, and act on these career advice equivalents of a “get well soon” card or an awkwardly executed fist bump. 

Here’s the important part though. Don’t just reject broad and unhelpful advice when it comes from someone else. That’s the easy part. The tricky part is to systematically reject a cookie-cutter mindset. 

So, how do you approach career-hunting focusing on the critical 20%?

Commit to defining exactly what you want

Conventional career-hunting advice is to send your resume to every job opportunity you see — and that might actually make sense if you’d be happy taking any job. But that’s not your goal. Your goal is to get up in the morning eager to clock-in and do your thing.

To find your dream job you’ll need to get specific: 

What job do you want? Name it. Have the courage to exclude the ones you don’t.

What size company? Where is it located? Be grittily granular.

… And here’s the really important one … 

What kinds of skills and experience do you need to land it? Quantify how you get there.

Everything in your resume and pitch should be hyper-focused on the answers you give to these questions. If you can do that, two things happen. First, you save time by no longer applying for dodgy jobs you don’t want anyway. Second, you make yourself look like a better employment prospect to the companies that actually count.

Get started in 15 minutes or less

Here are a couple of things you can do right now to get specific:

Grab a sheet of paper and split it into 2 columns. In the first column list everything you know about what your dream job looks like. In column 2, bullet out the key characteristics of the kinds of jobs you don’t want. Stick this paper somewhere prominent as a daily reminder. 

Grab a red pen (OK purple will do if red ink is scary). Go through every line of your current resume and scratch out generic, hedging, or vague statements. If it isn’t about the job you actually want, ditch it. 

Congratulations. You just shifted your energy to that critical 20%. 

2. Discard self-sabotage: Believe you’re right for the role

This might sound a bit “Dr. Phil” at first glance, but hear us out. We’re not suggesting something quite so asinine and patronizing as the idea that great self-esteem and chutzpah is all you need to land you a dream job. That’s dumb. Also, see point 1.

What we are saying though is that many job-seekers accidentally absorb a defeatist mindset. In fact, it happens to the best of us. Here’s the kind of self-sabotaging thoughts we’re talking about:

“I’m not qualified. Before I can even think about a new job I need to go back to school.”

“I’m lucky to have any job in this economy.”

“I should wait until COVID-19 and murder hornets go away before any big life changes.”

Don’t get us wrong. These thoughts aren’t stupid.

Skilling up is good! And of course, macroeconomics and other unpredictable variables are all real things that affect how your dream job search will play out. But none of these considerations (along with the myriad other excuses out there) need stop you from taking meaningful steps in the right direction … right now.

These ideas all have one thing in common. They push you to reflect on all the reasons why now isn’t a good time; why you’re not ready yet; why the world is just too scary a place to do something bold and daring like pursuing your dream.

Believe change is possible

OK, OK, we’ll throw the obvious mind shift out there first. 

You do need to believe in yourself to make good stuff happen. There. Satisfied, Dr. Phil? It’s on a billion fridge magnets for good reason. Whatever you need to do to get inspired that you can and should pursue a career that’d make you happy and enriched, go out and get that thing, stick a magnet on it, and slap it on your fridge. 

Life’s too short. 

But don’t just get inspired; get aspirational. 

Time constraints, economic downturns, and yes, even venom-spitting murder hornets will always be out there. Either you aspire to find a job you love despite these and a plethora of equally sucky things, or you resign yourself to a permanent state of waiting. 

At least door one goes somewhere. Door two leads to the eternal thought-muzak of life’s waiting room. That serendipitous 20% zone can only happen when you abandon a resignation mindset.

Get started in 15 minutes or less

So you want to stop polluting your brain and your approach with self-defeating ideas? Got any spare paper lying around? Grab it!

Jot down every excuse or statement of resignation the self-defeatist side of your psyche (we all have one!) can muster. 

Now write a response to each of these naysaying urges. Where you feel an obstacle is real, write down how you can overcome it. Start making tangible plans.  

3. Reject passivity: Pursue crucial situations and people

This all circles around to the absolute importance of kicking passivity to the curb. 

Think back to the 80/20 Rule for a moment: The idea that most of the biggest changes that’ll happen in your life boil down to a relatively slim sliver of critical crux points. 

If you buy into this particular quirk of the universe, being awake for those moments suddenly becomes vitally important, right? 

Yet the vast majority of people that are searching for their dream job hand the responsibility for delivering those all-or-nothing flash-points to someone else. Career-hunting passivity is everywhere, and takes many forms, like:

Trusting a job search algorithm to guide your job search.

Sending out a resume and desperately hoping the HR team gets back to you one day.

Relying on a recruiter to convince your dream company to give you a shot.

Laziness of this ilk squanders not one, but two of your most valuable resources. 

One: Obviously, you’re wasting your time. We probably don’t need to offer too much exposition here on why metaphorically cramming filet mignon into a Mcdonald’s meat-grinder is unlikely to produce optimal results.

But you can’t overlook the negative knock-on effects on your motivation. You’re spinning headlong into a negative spiral here — where a perfect storm of rejection emails, lack of actionable data, and no real clue about what to do differently next time robs you of any desire to continue.

Why do this to yourself?

Passivity breeds failure, which in turn leads to the slow and abysmal process of … well … just giving up. The “80-percenter-zone” is a gray realm of mental laziness — of endlessly doing the same thing while expecting suddenly different results to miraculously manifest from miasmic mundanity. No.

So, what does “different” look like?

Zig when they zag

An active and engaged process of finding your dream job isn’t just about being smart — although, no big surprises here — smart people are generally better at finding useful shortcuts. It’s also about using your creativity and your passion to zig when other folks zag. 

What do we mean by that?

Testing your approach: So you threw your metaphorical filet mignon into the algorithmic meat grinder and you got a dry and tasteless meat patty and an unconvincing dill pickle for your pains. If you’re switched on, you’ll chalk that up as a failed experiment and learn from it. Testing your approaches and efficiently learning from mistakes will help you avoid wasting a “rare” opportunity. 

Looking beyond the low hanging fruit: The best jobs aren’t advertised. They’re made and won behind the scenes, far beyond your reach if you’re confining your hunt to generic online search tools. Like Poirot (or Angela Lansbury if you’re seeking employment in the Cabot Cove metropolitan area), dig deeper. Keen detective work may be in order. 

Get started in 15 minutes or less

Recognize you have a bit of a passive streak as a job hunter? Good news: no red pens are required for this one.

Can you find employees and HR managers of places you’d love to work on LinkedIn? The best time to begin assembling information about how your dream employer operates is right now — yep, before an interview is even a glimmer on the horizon. 

Think of three companies where you’d love to work and follow them on social media. Do some online detective work to learn their lingo and build a clear picture of who they’re recruiting for and why. Make Angela proud. 

“Why should we hire you?”

That’s exactly the question we intend to help you answer when you find yourself sitting in the interview hot seat for your shot at the career you’ve always wanted. 

At this moment, when that crucial question hits, the next few words out of your mouth will need to show (not tell) your interviewer why you’re ideal for their company. These words will need to prove (not plead) your case. These words have to be steeped in the company’s language and be rich with strategy, foresight, and seasoned introspection. 

Imagine feeling calm, the perfect answer spilling out of your mouth as you seal the deal on a career path you were made for. 

We can help you shine in that pivotal, all-or-nothing moment.   

        [Video] 80/20 Rule: Making Your Dream Job a Reality is a post from: I Will Teach You To Be Rich.

[Video] 80/20 Rule: Making Your Dream Job a Reality published first on https://justinbetreviews.tumblr.com/

[andrewdburton]

[Video] 80/20 Rule: Making Your Dream Job a Reality

Imagine landing your dream job with all the unnecessary doubt, indecision, and effort removed from the process. 

Imagine making it happen in just one-fifth of the time it might normally take.

Nope, we’re not suggesting a miracle cognition drug, cybernetic brain implants, or an aggressive juice cleanse. Instead, we want to draw your attention to a simple idea known as the Pareto Principle, or the 80/20 Rule. This odd quirk of human experience posits that roughly 80% of a given activity’s meaningful consequences come from just 20% of the causes. 

So, imagine sitting in a movie theater (remember when that was a thing?). The 80/20 Rule suggests that around four-fifths of your enjoyment will come from just one-fifth of the movie — all those climactic scenes most of the story builds up to. The rule applies to bad stuff too. Think of all those annoying candy wrapper crinklers chowing down on Junior Mints during those same memorable scenes. Again, this rule would tell us that around 80% of that annoying noise was caused by just 20% of the movie-watchers.  

It’s a generalization of course, but it sounds about right doesn’t it? 

We don’t live in a neat universe where results always happen in a straight line. More often than not, just a few critical factors make all the difference, whether for good or bad. If you geek out on efficiency theory you can grab a coffee along with your cookie of choice and learn all about the 80/20 rule here and how it applies to all manner of corners of industry and productivity science.

In Ramit’s video, ‘The 80/20 Guide to Finding a Job You Love,’ he’ll grab on to this concept and zero in on you, your career, and one pointily practical question… 

Can the 80/20 rule help you land your dream job?

Or let’s put it another way. Can we just get rid of the 80% of largely unimportant stuff, and focus right in on those few critical turning points that can land you a richer working life? 

We’re convinced the answer is yes … if you’re willing to ditch unhelpful mindsets that lurk in the 80% unproductive zone. Let’s look at a few examples of how just a few changes can make a huge difference as you look for your dream job. 

1. Ignore broad and vague career advice: Get specific

We’ve all had that person in our lives who offers pointless encouragement because they’re trying to help. 

“You can do it!” Gee, thanks. How?

“Get well soon!” Great idea! My plan was to get well slowly.

These people mean well, but platitudes like this come from those who want to help but have no clue how. Unfortunately, conventional career guidance is littered with the same vague solutions. These fuzzy directions mean next to nothing and get you next to nowhere. 

You know the deal: 

Find your passion! Cool. But what does that process actually look like?

Renegotiate your salary! Genius plan. How?

These are time-wasters that’ll consign your approach to the unproductive 80% of the 80/20 equation. 

Watch for these broad statements, and recognize them for what they are: a well-meaning impulse. What they’re decidedly not is a blueprint. You can waste a lot of time flailing about, trying to interpret, and act on these career advice equivalents of a “get well soon” card or an awkwardly executed fist bump. 

Here’s the important part though. Don’t just reject broad and unhelpful advice when it comes from someone else. That’s the easy part. The tricky part is to systematically reject a cookie-cutter mindset. 

So, how do you approach career-hunting focusing on the critical 20%?

Commit to defining exactly what you want

Conventional career-hunting advice is to send your resume to every job opportunity you see — and that might actually make sense if you’d be happy taking any job. But that’s not your goal. Your goal is to get up in the morning eager to clock-in and do your thing.

To find your dream job you’ll need to get specific: 

What job do you want? Name it. Have the courage to exclude the ones you don’t.

What size company? Where is it located? Be grittily granular.

… And here’s the really important one … 

What kinds of skills and experience do you need to land it? Quantify how you get there.

Everything in your resume and pitch should be hyper-focused on the answers you give to these questions. If you can do that, two things happen. First, you save time by no longer applying for dodgy jobs you don’t want anyway. Second, you make yourself look like a better employment prospect to the companies that actually count.

Get started in 15 minutes or less

Here are a couple of things you can do right now to get specific:

Grab a sheet of paper and split it into 2 columns. In the first column list everything you know about what your dream job looks like. In column 2, bullet out the key characteristics of the kinds of jobs you don’t want. Stick this paper somewhere prominent as a daily reminder. 

Grab a red pen (OK purple will do if red ink is scary). Go through every line of your current resume and scratch out generic, hedging, or vague statements. If it isn’t about the job you actually want, ditch it. 

Congratulations. You just shifted your energy to that critical 20%. 

2. Discard self-sabotage: Believe you’re right for the role

This might sound a bit “Dr. Phil” at first glance, but hear us out. We’re not suggesting something quite so asinine and patronizing as the idea that great self-esteem and chutzpah is all you need to land you a dream job. That’s dumb. Also, see point 1.

What we are saying though is that many job-seekers accidentally absorb a defeatist mindset. In fact, it happens to the best of us. Here’s the kind of self-sabotaging thoughts we’re talking about:

“I’m not qualified. Before I can even think about a new job I need to go back to school.”

“I’m lucky to have any job in this economy.”

“I should wait until COVID-19 and murder hornets go away before any big life changes.”

Don’t get us wrong. These thoughts aren’t stupid.

Skilling up is good! And of course, macroeconomics and other unpredictable variables are all real things that affect how your dream job search will play out. But none of these considerations (along with the myriad other excuses out there) need stop you from taking meaningful steps in the right direction … right now.

These ideas all have one thing in common. They push you to reflect on all the reasons why now isn’t a good time; why you’re not ready yet; why the world is just too scary a place to do something bold and daring like pursuing your dream.

Believe change is possible

OK, OK, we’ll throw the obvious mind shift out there first. 

You do need to believe in yourself to make good stuff happen. There. Satisfied, Dr. Phil? It’s on a billion fridge magnets for good reason. Whatever you need to do to get inspired that you can and should pursue a career that’d make you happy and enriched, go out and get that thing, stick a magnet on it, and slap it on your fridge. 

Life’s too short. 

But don’t just get inspired; get aspirational. 

Time constraints, economic downturns, and yes, even venom-spitting murder hornets will always be out there. Either you aspire to find a job you love despite these and a plethora of equally sucky things, or you resign yourself to a permanent state of waiting. 

At least door one goes somewhere. Door two leads to the eternal thought-muzak of life’s waiting room. That serendipitous 20% zone can only happen when you abandon a resignation mindset.

Get started in 15 minutes or less

So you want to stop polluting your brain and your approach with self-defeating ideas? Got any spare paper lying around? Grab it!

Jot down every excuse or statement of resignation the self-defeatist side of your psyche (we all have one!) can muster. 

Now write a response to each of these naysaying urges. Where you feel an obstacle is real, write down how you can overcome it. Start making tangible plans.  

3. Reject passivity: Pursue crucial situations and people

This all circles around to the absolute importance of kicking passivity to the curb. 

Think back to the 80/20 Rule for a moment: The idea that most of the biggest changes that’ll happen in your life boil down to a relatively slim sliver of critical crux points. 

If you buy into this particular quirk of the universe, being awake for those moments suddenly becomes vitally important, right? 

Yet the vast majority of people that are searching for their dream job hand the responsibility for delivering those all-or-nothing flash-points to someone else. Career-hunting passivity is everywhere, and takes many forms, like:

Trusting a job search algorithm to guide your job search.

Sending out a resume and desperately hoping the HR team gets back to you one day.

Relying on a recruiter to convince your dream company to give you a shot.

Laziness of this ilk squanders not one, but two of your most valuable resources. 

One: Obviously, you’re wasting your time. We probably don’t need to offer too much exposition here on why metaphorically cramming filet mignon into a Mcdonald’s meat-grinder is unlikely to produce optimal results.

But you can’t overlook the negative knock-on effects on your motivation. You’re spinning headlong into a negative spiral here — where a perfect storm of rejection emails, lack of actionable data, and no real clue about what to do differently next time robs you of any desire to continue.

Why do this to yourself?

Passivity breeds failure, which in turn leads to the slow and abysmal process of … well … just giving up. The “80-percenter-zone” is a gray realm of mental laziness — of endlessly doing the same thing while expecting suddenly different results to miraculously manifest from miasmic mundanity. No.

So, what does “different” look like?

Zig when they zag

An active and engaged process of finding your dream job isn’t just about being smart — although, no big surprises here — smart people are generally better at finding useful shortcuts. It’s also about using your creativity and your passion to zig when other folks zag. 

What do we mean by that?

Testing your approach: So you threw your metaphorical filet mignon into the algorithmic meat grinder and you got a dry and tasteless meat patty and an unconvincing dill pickle for your pains. If you’re switched on, you’ll chalk that up as a failed experiment and learn from it. Testing your approaches and efficiently learning from mistakes will help you avoid wasting a “rare” opportunity. 

Looking beyond the low hanging fruit: The best jobs aren’t advertised. They’re made and won behind the scenes, far beyond your reach if you’re confining your hunt to generic online search tools. Like Poirot (or Angela Lansbury if you’re seeking employment in the Cabot Cove metropolitan area), dig deeper. Keen detective work may be in order. 

Get started in 15 minutes or less

Recognize you have a bit of a passive streak as a job hunter? Good news: no red pens are required for this one.

Can you find employees and HR managers of places you’d love to work on LinkedIn? The best time to begin assembling information about how your dream employer operates is right now — yep, before an interview is even a glimmer on the horizon. 

Think of three companies where you’d love to work and follow them on social media. Do some online detective work to learn their lingo and build a clear picture of who they’re recruiting for and why. Make Angela proud. 

“Why should we hire you?”

That’s exactly the question we intend to help you answer when you find yourself sitting in the interview hot seat for your shot at the career you’ve always wanted. 

At this moment, when that crucial question hits, the next few words out of your mouth will need to show (not tell) your interviewer why you’re ideal for their company. These words will need to prove (not plead) your case. These words have to be steeped in the company’s language and be rich with strategy, foresight, and seasoned introspection. 

Imagine feeling calm, the perfect answer spilling out of your mouth as you seal the deal on a career path you were made for. 

We can help you shine in that pivotal, all-or-nothing moment.   

        [Video] 80/20 Rule: Making Your Dream Job a Reality is a post from: I Will Teach You To Be Rich.

from Finance https://www.iwillteachyoutoberich.com/blog/80-20-rule-for-finding-your-dream-job/ via http://www.rssmix.com/

[paulckrueger]

[Video] 80/20 Rule: Making Your Dream Job a Reality

Imagine landing your dream job with all the unnecessary doubt, indecision, and effort removed from the process. 

Imagine making it happen in just one-fifth of the time it might normally take.

Nope, we’re not suggesting a miracle cognition drug, cybernetic brain implants, or an aggressive juice cleanse. Instead, we want to draw your attention to a simple idea known as the Pareto Principle, or the 80/20 Rule. This odd quirk of human experience posits that roughly 80% of a given activity’s meaningful consequences come from just 20% of the causes. 

So, imagine sitting in a movie theater (remember when that was a thing?). The 80/20 Rule suggests that around four-fifths of your enjoyment will come from just one-fifth of the movie — all those climactic scenes most of the story builds up to. The rule applies to bad stuff too. Think of all those annoying candy wrapper crinklers chowing down on Junior Mints during those same memorable scenes. Again, this rule would tell us that around 80% of that annoying noise was caused by just 20% of the movie-watchers.  

It’s a generalization of course, but it sounds about right doesn’t it? 

We don’t live in a neat universe where results always happen in a straight line. More often than not, just a few critical factors make all the difference, whether for good or bad. If you geek out on efficiency theory you can grab a coffee along with your cookie of choice and learn all about the 80/20 rule here and how it applies to all manner of corners of industry and productivity science.

In Ramit’s video, ‘The 80/20 Guide to Finding a Job You Love,’ he’ll grab on to this concept and zero in on you, your career, and one pointily practical question… 

Can the 80/20 rule help you land your dream job?

Or let’s put it another way. Can we just get rid of the 80% of largely unimportant stuff, and focus right in on those few critical turning points that can land you a richer working life? 

We’re convinced the answer is yes … if you’re willing to ditch unhelpful mindsets that lurk in the 80% unproductive zone. Let’s look at a few examples of how just a few changes can make a huge difference as you look for your dream job. 

1. Ignore broad and vague career advice: Get specific

We’ve all had that person in our lives who offers pointless encouragement because they’re trying to help. 

“You can do it!” Gee, thanks. How?

“Get well soon!” Great idea! My plan was to get well slowly.

These people mean well, but platitudes like this come from those who want to help but have no clue how. Unfortunately, conventional career guidance is littered with the same vague solutions. These fuzzy directions mean next to nothing and get you next to nowhere. 

You know the deal: 

Find your passion! Cool. But what does that process actually look like?

Renegotiate your salary! Genius plan. How?

These are time-wasters that’ll consign your approach to the unproductive 80% of the 80/20 equation. 

Watch for these broad statements, and recognize them for what they are: a well-meaning impulse. What they’re decidedly not is a blueprint. You can waste a lot of time flailing about, trying to interpret, and act on these career advice equivalents of a “get well soon” card or an awkwardly executed fist bump. 

Here’s the important part though. Don’t just reject broad and unhelpful advice when it comes from someone else. That’s the easy part. The tricky part is to systematically reject a cookie-cutter mindset. 

So, how do you approach career-hunting focusing on the critical 20%?

Commit to defining exactly what you want

Conventional career-hunting advice is to send your resume to every job opportunity you see — and that might actually make sense if you’d be happy taking any job. But that’s not your goal. Your goal is to get up in the morning eager to clock-in and do your thing.

To find your dream job you’ll need to get specific: 

What job do you want? Name it. Have the courage to exclude the ones you don’t.

What size company? Where is it located? Be grittily granular.

… And here’s the really important one … 

What kinds of skills and experience do you need to land it? Quantify how you get there.

Everything in your resume and pitch should be hyper-focused on the answers you give to these questions. If you can do that, two things happen. First, you save time by no longer applying for dodgy jobs you don’t want anyway. Second, you make yourself look like a better employment prospect to the companies that actually count.

Get started in 15 minutes or less

Here are a couple of things you can do right now to get specific:

Grab a sheet of paper and split it into 2 columns. In the first column list everything you know about what your dream job looks like. In column 2, bullet out the key characteristics of the kinds of jobs you don’t want. Stick this paper somewhere prominent as a daily reminder. 

Grab a red pen (OK purple will do if red ink is scary). Go through every line of your current resume and scratch out generic, hedging, or vague statements. If it isn’t about the job you actually want, ditch it. 

Congratulations. You just shifted your energy to that critical 20%. 

2. Discard self-sabotage: Believe you’re right for the role

This might sound a bit “Dr. Phil” at first glance, but hear us out. We’re not suggesting something quite so asinine and patronizing as the idea that great self-esteem and chutzpah is all you need to land you a dream job. That’s dumb. Also, see point 1.

What we are saying though is that many job-seekers accidentally absorb a defeatist mindset. In fact, it happens to the best of us. Here’s the kind of self-sabotaging thoughts we’re talking about:

“I’m not qualified. Before I can even think about a new job I need to go back to school.”

“I’m lucky to have any job in this economy.”

“I should wait until COVID-19 and murder hornets go away before any big life changes.”

Don’t get us wrong. These thoughts aren’t stupid.

Skilling up is good! And of course, macroeconomics and other unpredictable variables are all real things that affect how your dream job search will play out. But none of these considerations (along with the myriad other excuses out there) need stop you from taking meaningful steps in the right direction … right now.

These ideas all have one thing in common. They push you to reflect on all the reasons why now isn’t a good time; why you’re not ready yet; why the world is just too scary a place to do something bold and daring like pursuing your dream.

Believe change is possible

OK, OK, we’ll throw the obvious mind shift out there first. 

You do need to believe in yourself to make good stuff happen. There. Satisfied, Dr. Phil? It’s on a billion fridge magnets for good reason. Whatever you need to do to get inspired that you can and should pursue a career that’d make you happy and enriched, go out and get that thing, stick a magnet on it, and slap it on your fridge. 

Life’s too short. 

But don’t just get inspired; get aspirational. 

Time constraints, economic downturns, and yes, even venom-spitting murder hornets will always be out there. Either you aspire to find a job you love despite these and a plethora of equally sucky things, or you resign yourself to a permanent state of waiting. 

At least door one goes somewhere. Door two leads to the eternal thought-muzak of life’s waiting room. That serendipitous 20% zone can only happen when you abandon a resignation mindset.

Get started in 15 minutes or less

So you want to stop polluting your brain and your approach with self-defeating ideas? Got any spare paper lying around? Grab it!

Jot down every excuse or statement of resignation the self-defeatist side of your psyche (we all have one!) can muster. 

Now write a response to each of these naysaying urges. Where you feel an obstacle is real, write down how you can overcome it. Start making tangible plans.  

3. Reject passivity: Pursue crucial situations and people

This all circles around to the absolute importance of kicking passivity to the curb. 

Think back to the 80/20 Rule for a moment: The idea that most of the biggest changes that’ll happen in your life boil down to a relatively slim sliver of critical crux points. 

If you buy into this particular quirk of the universe, being awake for those moments suddenly becomes vitally important, right? 

Yet the vast majority of people that are searching for their dream job hand the responsibility for delivering those all-or-nothing flash-points to someone else. Career-hunting passivity is everywhere, and takes many forms, like:

Trusting a job search algorithm to guide your job search.

Sending out a resume and desperately hoping the HR team gets back to you one day.

Relying on a recruiter to convince your dream company to give you a shot.

Laziness of this ilk squanders not one, but two of your most valuable resources. 

One: Obviously, you’re wasting your time. We probably don’t need to offer too much exposition here on why metaphorically cramming filet mignon into a Mcdonald’s meat-grinder is unlikely to produce optimal results.

But you can’t overlook the negative knock-on effects on your motivation. You’re spinning headlong into a negative spiral here — where a perfect storm of rejection emails, lack of actionable data, and no real clue about what to do differently next time robs you of any desire to continue.

Why do this to yourself?

Passivity breeds failure, which in turn leads to the slow and abysmal process of … well … just giving up. The “80-percenter-zone” is a gray realm of mental laziness — of endlessly doing the same thing while expecting suddenly different results to miraculously manifest from miasmic mundanity. No.

So, what does “different” look like?

Zig when they zag

An active and engaged process of finding your dream job isn’t just about being smart — although, no big surprises here — smart people are generally better at finding useful shortcuts. It’s also about using your creativity and your passion to zig when other folks zag. 

What do we mean by that?

Testing your approach: So you threw your metaphorical filet mignon into the algorithmic meat grinder and you got a dry and tasteless meat patty and an unconvincing dill pickle for your pains. If you’re switched on, you’ll chalk that up as a failed experiment and learn from it. Testing your approaches and efficiently learning from mistakes will help you avoid wasting a “rare” opportunity. 

Looking beyond the low hanging fruit: The best jobs aren’t advertised. They’re made and won behind the scenes, far beyond your reach if you’re confining your hunt to generic online search tools. Like Poirot (or Angela Lansbury if you’re seeking employment in the Cabot Cove metropolitan area), dig deeper. Keen detective work may be in order. 

Get started in 15 minutes or less

Recognize you have a bit of a passive streak as a job hunter? Good news: no red pens are required for this one.

Can you find employees and HR managers of places you’d love to work on LinkedIn? The best time to begin assembling information about how your dream employer operates is right now — yep, before an interview is even a glimmer on the horizon. 

Think of three companies where you’d love to work and follow them on social media. Do some online detective work to learn their lingo and build a clear picture of who they’re recruiting for and why. Make Angela proud. 

“Why should we hire you?”

That’s exactly the question we intend to help you answer when you find yourself sitting in the interview hot seat for your shot at the career you’ve always wanted. 

At this moment, when that crucial question hits, the next few words out of your mouth will need to show (not tell) your interviewer why you’re ideal for their company. These words will need to prove (not plead) your case. These words have to be steeped in the company’s language and be rich with strategy, foresight, and seasoned introspection. 

Imagine feeling calm, the perfect answer spilling out of your mouth as you seal the deal on a career path you were made for. 

We can help you shine in that pivotal, all-or-nothing moment.   

        [Video] 80/20 Rule: Making Your Dream Job a Reality is a post from: I Will Teach You To Be Rich.

from Surety Bond Brokers? Business https://www.iwillteachyoutoberich.com/blog/80-20-rule-for-finding-your-dream-job/

[the-desolated-quill]

Kill The Moon - Doctor Who blog (Is This The Worst Doctor Who Episode Ever?)

(SPOILER WARNING: The following is an in-depth critical analysis. If you haven’t seen this episode yet... then I envy you, you lucky bastard)

I... really... didn’t want to watch this one again. The first time I saw this back in 2014, it elicited a reaction out of me so violent that it would have made a Hell’s Angel blush. I HATED this episode with every fibre of my being and I’ve been dreading coming back to review this. I had to bribe myself with chocolate in order to get through it again and, even now as I’m typing this, I’m seething with rage. The very thought that my TV licence fee contributed to this pile of absolute garbage fucking disgusts me.

So... Kill The Moon.

Let’s start with the first immediate problem that jumps out. Courtney. What the fuck is she doing here? You could literally cut her out of the story entirely and it wouldn’t have made the slightest bit of difference. Actually no, I tell a lie. It would have made one difference. The episode would have been slightly less grating to watch. She’s so fucking annoying that I was hoping a gruesome death was on the cards for her. She’s constantly moaning about being bored or that she’s not special, which considering what an arrogant little bitch she’s been presented as over the course of this series, it probably wouldn’t hurt to have the Doctor take her down a peg or two. You certainly don’t want to encourage someone like that into believing they’re a special little snowflake because it’ll just reinforce their selfish behaviour, and I’m alarmed that that’s what her teacher Clara is trying to do. What the fuck?

So the TARDIS crew land on the Moon and meet three astronauts. One of them is played by Hermione Norris, who gives such a dull and lifeless performance that I’m almost impressed by it. The way she says her lines, she sounds as though she’s only just woken up. Mind you, if I was lumbered with a character this one dimensional, I wouldn’t put much energy into my performance neither. Also there are two other astronauts played by two other actors who do absolutely nothing. They’re all bland, boring characters and I’m sure they have names, but I can’t be arsed to remember them because that’s how fucking boring they are. I don’t give a single shit about any of them, partly because the writer Peter Harness has given me no reason to care about them, but mostly because I was too busy trying to make sense of Kill The Moon’s moronic morass of pseudoscience and dumbass non-logic.

So the Mexicans have made a lunar mining base on the Moon only to discover there are in fact no minerals on the Moon. At all. None whatsoever. Then once you’ve finished laughing at that stupidity, we’re then expected to believe that after years of technological innovation, everyone just stopped going into space. And apparently there’s no way to get to the mining base other than using an old space shuttle from a museum. So the Mexican company didn’t have any of its own ships it could send up in case something went wrong? None of the intermediate stages of spaceflight between a shuttle and a mining colony were available neither?

But wait! It gets worse!

The Moon is getting bigger. That’s bad. Tidal waves and floods and all that jazz. So what’s the solution? Nuke the fucker! Yeah! That will make everything better! Except doing so could potentially send chunks of radioactive Moon rock at the Earth and cause an apocalypse (assuming the rocks don’t just form back into a sphere shaped mass again because that’s how gravity fucking works). Also the Moon acts as a counterweight to the Earth. So if the Moon disappeared, the Earth’s orbit around the Sun would become more erratic and the planet would wobble uncontrollably on its axis, causing the seasons to fluctuate wildly. So blowing up the Moon could actually make things worse. Whoops!

And why is the Moon getting bigger? (Are you ready for this? You’re going to love this one?) The Moon is an egg!

Well no, wait, actually that makes perfect sense. Because we all know when a chicken lays an egg, the egg gets bigger and heavier as it incubates. OH WAIT! NO IT DOESN’T! THE EGG GETS LIGHTER! SO HOW THE FUCK DOES THE MOON GAIN AN EXTRA 1.3 BILLION TONNES IN WEIGHT? WHERE DID ALL THAT EXTRA MASS COME FROM? THIS IS UTTER BOLLOCKS!

And it just gets even stupider when you take this baby creature into account. How does killing the creature solve the problem of the tidal waves? The reason the tidal waves are occurring is because of the increased mass of the Moon. If you kill the creature, that mass doesn’t magically go away. You’ve still got a dead creature orbiting the planet. The mass is still there. Even if you were to accept the possibility that the nukes would blow the creature to smithereens, it’s more likely that the bits of luna rock and alien guts would form back into a sphere under its own gravity, thus causing more problems for the Earth.

Now yes I know this is Doctor Who. It’s never exactly been scientifically accurate and if I were to go through all the bad science in Doctor Who stories, we’d be here all day. However in order to maintain our suspension of disbelief, the science doesn’t necessarily need to be accurate, but it does need to make sense under the show’s own internal logic. This... doesn’t! The science in Kill The Moon is so stupid and so nonsensical that it actually takes you completely out of the story. It’s hard to be scared of the alien spiders once you find out they’re prokaryotic (just... huh?!) and it’s hard to take the Doctor seriously when he’s spouting unscientific bullshit that is objectively wrong. And all the stuff I’ve been saying, this isn’t some obscure stuff that only a Stephen Hawking or an Albert Einstein would know. You can literally GOOGLE this crap! There’s simply no excuse for such shoddy science. So either Peter Harness is lazy as fuck and couldn’t be bothered to do basic research before putting pen to paper or he’s a complete and utter idiot. And that would be one thing if all that results in just a stupid story, but it’s another thing entirely when the writer brings that same laziness/stupidity to the table when tackling sensitive, real world issues.

As I watched Kill The Moon, with Clara and um... the spacewoman debating whether to kill the creature or not, the penny dropped with a horrible clang. Yes, Doctor Who is going to talk to us about abortion. Now of course this isn't the first time the show has tackled difficult subject matters and there’s no reason why a show whose audience is predominantly children shouldn’t be allowed to discuss and explore sensitive subjects. It all depends on how it’s done. Abortion is a tricky one because there are essentially two parts to the pro-choice/pro-life debate. The first is that of the woman’s autonomy, to which the answer should obviously be yes. A woman should absolutely have the right to decide what she does with her own body. The second part is where things get murky. The rights of the foetus. Namely, is abortion murder? That all depends when life officially begins, except nobody can agree when that is. Is it at the point of conception? During the first trimester? The second? When the embryo takes on a human shape? When the woman actually gives birth to the child? And that in turn raises a whole new set of questions. Let’s say that life officially begins during the second trimester. Does that mean the embryo still has rights during the first trimester just because it’s going to be alive? What about sperm and egg cells? Does that make condoms immoral just because those sperm could fertilise an egg and could create life? So what does this mean then? Are the pro-life group campaigning for the right to life or the right to potentially have life? Is ‘potentially’ too broad a definition and is it in fact restricting a woman’s autonomy? Which brings us to the ultimate question. Whose life is more important? The mother’s or the foetus’? What if giving birth to the baby harms or kills the mother? What if other factors prevent the mother from giving a baby the quality of care it deserves? Whose life takes precedent?

Now I’m not going to tell you my views on abortion because, frankly, they’re irrelevant to this. I’m merely demonstrating how complicated this debate truly is. These are questions with no clear right or wrong answer and there’s probably never going to be a clear, definitive answer. A lot of it really comes down to your own personal morality. So if you’re going to write a story about abortion... well... don’t. That would be my advice because you’re bound to piss somebody off no matter what you do. But if you still persist, you need to do your fucking homework before you start and make sure you handle the subject with tact and discretion.

With this in mind, how does Kill The Moon go about doing this?

The Doctor discovers the existence of the creature under the Moon’s surface and remarks upon how beautiful it is, to which Hermione Norris’ character responds by asking how do they kill it while a sinister music cue plays over the scene.

Wow. Subtle.

This is the reason behind my intense dislike towards this episode. Not only does it make the same mistake most New Who stories make by stripping the moral complexity out of morally complex situations and spoon-feeding the answer to the audience, it also becomes offensively dangerous when you factor the abortion metaphor into the equation. The episode takes a hardline pro-life stance, portraying the pro-choice side as irrational baby killers, even going so far as to have the Earth (or half of the Earth at any rate. The other half not visible to the Moon doesn’t get a say apparently) vote whether to kill the creature or not, and then have Clara go against their unanimous decision to kill it and stop the nukes for no reason other than babies are good. (I feel I should point out there was nothing to suggest the creature wouldn’t have swooped down and devoured humanity the moment it had hatched. The fact that it didn’t only shows how grotesquely lucky Clara was with her rash decision). There’s no effort to actually have an intelligent discussion about this. The decision is made right from the start with the irrational baby killers merely being an obstacle in the righteous pro-lifer’s path. Not only is it biased to an insulting degree, it’s also intellectually dishonest. If the only way you can support your argument is by demonising the other side, all it proves is that your argument doesn’t have a leg to stand on.

Oh, let’s talk about Clara because she really fucking pissed me off. I was amazed by the number of people who were angry over the Doctor’s decision to leave and not intervene in the decision because that was the only thing about the episode I actually liked. You may call bullshit considering the number of times the Doctor has interfered in human affairs, but as far as I’m concerned, he made the right choice here. He recognised how complex and difficult the decision was and he also recognised that it wasn’t his place to make that decision for them. Like he said, it’s not his home. It’s not his moon. It’s not his choice. Which is what makes Clara’s temper tantrum at the end all the more egregious. For starters it’s a bit rich her chastising the Doctor for leaving them when she was prepared to do the same thing less than 10 minutes before. Also what is she actually complaining about? That the Doctor paid her and the rest of the human race enough respect to make the choice for themselves? Doesn’t really make sense when you put it like that, does it? Clara basically comes across like a spoilt child, moaning and shrieking at the Doctor because he was no longer at her beck and call and she actually had to think and act for herself for a change. And rather than have the Doctor just tell her to grow the fuck up (or better yet, give her a sharp dropkick out of the TARDIS and find a companion who’s actually likeable and well developed), the episode clearly expects you to be on Clara’s side and tut-tut at the Doctor disapprovingly even though he hasn’t actually done anything wrong. Clara is basically upset because she had to think for herself, and that worries me.

Kill The Moon is not just bad. It isn’t even terrible. In fact I’d go as far to say that it’s one of the most despicable things I’ve ever come across. It’s not just because of the shit story or the bullshit scientific inaccuracies. It’s because of how cack handed and irresponsible Peter Harness is when it comes to the central theme. The very thought that this episode could give kids a skewed, biased and utterly warped view of abortion thanks to a writer who is either too stupid or too lazy to do proper research into the subject makes me sick to my fucking stomach. Also Steven Moffat can go fuck himself too. Oh yeah, I’m not letting him off the hook. He’s the showrunner. He’s the one who looked over this script and went ‘yep. I see nothing problematic about this whatsoever.’

This is the episode that made me stop watching Doctor Who. I felt so sickened and so insulted by what I had just watched that I actually flung up my hands and went ‘fuck it! I don’t want to watch this show anymore!’ It hurt to do it. I love Doctor Who, but I couldn’t continue to watch fucking morons like Moffat and Harness grind it into the dirt. So I left, vowing never to return until Moff-Face was shown the fucking door. And this Christmas, I’m finally going to get my wish.

Which leaves me in an interesting position going forward with my reviews. Beyond this episode, I legitimately have no idea what’s going to happen. I know a few tidbits of information from what I’ve seen on Tumblr. For instance, I know that Missy is the Master (that didn’t come as much of a surprise. I mean really, who the fuck else could she have been?), I know that the Doctor returns to Gallifrey at some point and I think Clara ends up dying at the end of Series 9 (couldn’t have happened to a more deserving companion as far as I’m concerned). Beyond that, I genuinely have no idea what’s in store for me from here. But at least I’ll be safe in the knowledge that no episode can possibly be as bad as Kill The fucking Moon.