#but seriously ‘astronomy club’s last member’

[beepborpdoodledorp]

Even in a high school rom-com, Sea Fairy’s life is only suffering

[vannahfanfics]

Heavenly Bodies

Category: Romantic Fluff

Fandom: My Hero Academia

Characters: Mina Ashido, Eijirou Kirishima

Additional Tags: Quirkless AU

Howdy, everyone! Today I have my story for the @ashidobigbang! I had the privilege of working with the wonderful @mallowfac​, so be sure to go give her beautiful art some love!

The picturesque campus of U.A. High School was always abuzz with activity, even after the final bells rang to mark the end of the school day. As expected of the number-one high school in the district, the institution hosted a vast number of after-school sports and clubs, so much that it was almost unheard of for a student to be uninvolved in anything. Thus, even as the sun had sunk low across the sky, the halls were still packed with many students fervently discussing events and fundraising and planning, walking to and from their classrooms. 

The exterior of the school was no exception; one would be hard pressed to find an empty sidewalk or field—except for today, when the American football team would be taking on the baseball team in an impromptu flag football game to determine once and for all the title of best sport. The halls and sidewalks and fields were abandoned, for the entire student body had crammed themselves within the confines of the spacious practice field nestled in the back corner of the campus. The baseball team had asserted that football was so easy that even they could do it, and the school had become divided on whether or not that was true. 

“Kick their asses, Eijirou!” a particularly loud fan crowed from the top of the bleachers. He was standing tall, hands cupped around his mouth and stamping his feet as he cheered for the school’s idol and star quarterback. The bleachers sang with chants and stomps, trying desperately to smother the boos drifting from the opposite end of the field, where the baseball team’s supporters sat. Eijirou Kirishima, his grin blinding and his red hair gleaming in the spring sun, laughed nervously as praise was rained down upon him. 

As Mina zeroed in on him in the lens of her binoculars, she knew she’d found her latest victim— er, recruit. 

Mina Ashido was the president—and only member—of U.A.’s astronomy club. Well, it wasn’t technically a club yet since they needed two members for the administration to approve the application. An avid admirer of all things cosmological and an aspiring astronomer, Mina refused to allow her pride and joy to collapse before it had even begun. Thus, for the last few months, she’d been concocting hare-brained scheme after hare-brained scheme to recruit at least one more member and officially christen the U.A. Guild of Astronomers and Astrophysicists. All of her efforts, unfortunately, had crashed and burned brighter than a supernova. 

At first, she’d just camped out in the hallways and leisure areas pitching her case and attempting to garner interest in the subject, but she’d been met with polite refusals or awkward avoidance. With so many extracurriculars available, sometimes drastic measures had to be taken to garner interest in a club— the Shakespearean drama club, for example, had performed Macbeth completely backwards in the courtyard, and their numbers had swelled immediately. Mina had cooked up a dramatic scheme of her own, which involved her running around the school screaming about a falling star and the end times. After inciting a mass school panic that led to a lockdown and police involvement, all Mina had managed to acquire was a fierce scolding, detention, and the label as a kook—not even one person expressed interest in joining her club even for the shits and giggles! No, it was clear that the inner workings of her mind were too sophisticated for humble high school students and staff, so she would have to try a more nuanced approach—manipulating the most vital high school variable: popularity. 

Her first target had been gorgeous cheerleader and school sweetheart, Momo Yaoyorozu. Despite the stereotype that popular girls were great big bitches, Momo had been nothing but polite when refusing Mina, since her rigorous practice schedule would unfortunately not allow her to devote the time to the club it deserved (but they did regularly meet up for Sunday tea now!). The next one to fall into her crosshairs was the school heartthrob Shoto Todoroki. He’d entertained her for an afternoon, but he destroyed one of her very expensive telescopes while attempting a night viewing and she’d politely informed him that perhaps he wasn’t cut out for it. He didn’t seem too sad about it, though he did occasionally ask her how the recruiting was going when they met in the halls. Very sweet guy, but bless him, he was an airhead. 

Thus, Mina had moved on to her next opportunity—the pride and joy of U.A.’s sports program, star American football player Eijirou Kirishima. Incredibly handsome, charismatic, and kind-hearted, Eijirou was beloved by everyone at U.A. If Mina managed to recruit him to her humble club, half the student body would be clamoring to join before it was printed in the school news the next day. 

She snickered to herself as she watched him through her binoculars, hiding in the thick, leafy bushes lining the backside of the sports complex. Her cotton candy-colored hair blended well with the hydrangeas blooming amidst the emerald leaves, camouflaging her as she conducted her vital research. The redhead strode across the field with confidence, yet his sunny smile made him seem anything but arrogant. Though she couldn’t hear him, she could see his lips moving as he relayed orders to his team while they set up the play. The players seamlessly fell into an offensive stance, a testament to the faith they held in their captain—and how seriously he took their practice and performance. 

A deep and bassy “huuuuup!” resounded through the field, and then the player hiked the ball. With a speed much at odds with his muscular frame, Eijirou took off down the field. Mina admittedly salivated a little as she watched his muscles ripple, his gray muscle tank displaying his biceps and triceps in mouthwatering detail. She could see the sweat shining on his skin and flicking from his hair as he whipped his head around to eye the ball that was sailing through the air toward him. The baseball team’s defense could only watch in awe as Eijirou leaped into the air over the endzone. The ball landed in his arms like it belonged there, his grip smug and sure as he landed in the touchdown zone. The supporting crowd erupted into deafening cheers, while Eijirou just smiled bashfully and gave a little wave. 

Mina lowered her binoculars to compose herself, a blush dusting her cheeks. So effortless… And the crowd loves it! she thought in awe. No matter what, I have to get him to join the Astronomy Club! She snapped the binoculars back to her eyes, watching intensely. She really didn’t need to watch the entire game, but… damn, that was a mouthwatering piece of man. She had to find some way to entertain herself while she waited for the game to end and her chance to corner him to finally present itself. 

Needless to say, the football team absolutely demolished the baseball team. The rival players marched back to their diamond in defeat along with their gaggle of supporters, while the crowd flooded the practice field to heft a very bemused but giddy Eijirou on their shoulders with chants of his name. They dunked the container of water over his head as soon as his feet touched the grass again, making him laugh jovially. Mina’s heart fluttered at the sound; his laugh was as sunny as the rest of him, so bright she almost felt the need to close her eyes. He was just blinding, like the most intense star. 

And just like with a star, Mina gravitated toward him. 

Eventually, the raucous crowd dispersed and the football team started heading to the locker rooms to change out of their sweaty gym gear. They came tromping onto the sidewalk, with Eijirou trailing in the rear dripping wet and trying to wring water out of his tank. Mina almost forgot to spring out of the bushes, too occupied with the planes of his abs being revealed each time he wrung the fabric. She remembered her mission just as he passed the hydrangea bush, and leaped out in front of him with a delighted trill. 

“That was a wonderful game, Eijirou!” she squealed, throwing her arms up and hiking up one leg behind her in a cute little flourish. The redhead jumped back with a small gasp, startled by her sudden appearance and the leaves and hydrangea petals clinging to her clothes and the soft fibers of her pink hair. Once he recovered, however, he gave her a charming smile that nearly had her melting into a pile of space slush. 

“Oh! Thanks. Hey, you’re, uh—” he snapped his fingers quickly as he struggled to recall her, then pointed his fingers at her in a gun-like shape once it clicked, “Mina Ashido! You have homeroom with Tsuyu from the Amphibian Care club. She talks about you when she helps run the concession stand sometimes!” 

“That’s right! The one and only!” she chirped, trying to suppress the surge of anger at the fact that Tsuyu could recruit for her club about pet frogs and turtles but Mina couldn’t get one single underling. Not to worry; that will all change soon! 

“This might be an odd question, but, uh… is there a reason you were hiding in the bushes?” he laughed awkwardly. Mina blushed when he leaned forward to gently brush the leaves and petals from her shoulders and hair, which made her short-circuit for a second. It was only when he looked at her inquisitively that her brain jump-started again. 

“O-oh! I thought it would be fun to surprise you! Yanno, like in the movies where someone jumps out of a big ol’ birthday cake!” It was a bold-faced lie, but it wasn’t like she could tell him she was spying on him through binoculars while she schemed to reel him into her club. Trying to keep him from thinking too hard about it, she placed her hands on her hips and straightened up. “I watched your practice match with the baseball team and have decided that you’ll be a perfect fit for the Astronomy Club! So please join. <3” 

Eijirou blinked owlishly at her, his bright red eyes swimming with confusion. He smiled bashfully, clearly trying not to let his utter perplexity show on his face. He rubbed the back of his neck with a nervous chuckle. 

“Well, um, I’m really not sure how you made that connection watching me play…” 

“The inner workings of a woman’s mind are quite an enigma~” she hummed with a waggle of her finger. Eijirou only scrunched his eyebrows in confusion and jumped when she slapped her hand down on his shoulder. “Seriously! You seem like a great fit! Please consider at least trying it out for a little while?” She batted her eyelashes demurely; if nothing else, her womanly charms could entice the burly football player to at least humor her for a while. 

Sure enough, a pink blush dusted across his cheeks and a bashful smile curled onto his lips. 

“Well, I suppose it wouldn’t hurt checking it out… Stars are cool…” 

“Fabulous!” she squealed, making Eijirou flinch again as she clapped her hands together and jumped up and down in elation. Even if Eijirou didn’t join permanently, just the rumor of his interest in her humble little club was liable to attract attention. “I know that you’re busy with football practice, so we’ll schedule club meetings on Friday afternoons when you don’t have them, okay?” 

“Oh, that’s not necessary. I don’t want to inconvenience any—” 

“Great! So it’s settled then! I’ll see you on Friday afternoon in Room 310!” With that, she jumped back into her bush, leaving Eijirou staring at the quivering leaves in confusion. Through the gaps in the branches, she saw him open and close his mouth like he wanted to say something, look around and then up at the sky with a pensive look, and then smile with a shrug of his shoulders. Mina clutched her binoculars to her chest as a smile bloomed on her own lips, but one of satisfaction. Surely this will work! The Astronomy Club will be booming in no time! She thought with a giddy snicker. 

If nothing else, she could look at Eijirou’s absolutely dreamy body and face for a few club meetings and drive his fangirls nuts. 

At the end of the week, Mina paced impatiently in front of Room 310, chewing her fingernails to nubs as her eyes darted back and forth around the hall. It had only been a few minutes since the final bell had rung and the students had scattered to attend to their Friday afternoon obligations (or lack thereof), but anxiety swirled in Mina’s belly at the complete emptiness of the halls. Has he stood me up? Was I too pushy? Is he secretly a great big jerk who is nice to people’s faces but scathingly berates them behind their back to his football teammates and they all laugh evilly at the unknowing victim’s expense? 

With a dramatic sob, Mina flung herself against the classroom door and hugged it, her fingers just barely curling around the wide frame. Once again, it seemed that her recruitment plan had failed miserably, and she was still the sole member of the Astronomy Club. Was she a doomed stranded astronaut, left to traverse the stars in silence awaiting a bitter end? She sank to her knees, sliding down the door with a long squeeeeeeeeak and crying bitter tears. Stars were hella cool! Why did no one at this stupid high school appreciate them? 

“Mina!” 

Mina’s mood did a complete one-eighty when she heard Eijirou calling her name and his footsteps pounding around the corner. She jumped to her feet, her tears drying up instantly and her pout morphing into a giddy smile. The redhead came trotting up, a thin sheet of sweat on his forehead and an apologetic smile on his face. 

“Sorry!” he panted. “I didn’t get a chance to warn you that my class is all the way on the first floor. I hope you weren’t waiting long!” 

“No, no! I just got here mys— yeowch!” 

She had still been hugging the door, so when she tried to turn to face him, she accidentally pulled it forward and smashed her fingers in the doorjamb. She screamed as her knucklebones crunched and the skin tore; the pain rocketing up her arm sprang tears to her eyes immediately, and she released a petulant whine as she retracted her bruised and bloody fingers from between the wooden door and concrete wall. 

“Oh my gosh, are you okay, Mina?” Eijirou gasped, dropping his school bag and rushing to her side. Mina cradled her throbbing hand to her chest with little sniffles, curling away from the football player when he reached for it. He gave her an encouraging, sweet smile. “I know I look big and tough, but I promise, I can be gentle too. Let me see; you may have broken something.”

Whimpering but enticed by his soothing words and demeanor, Mina obediently allowed him to pull her hand forward to inspect her fingers. They were bruising already, big blotches of purple blooming around the torn and bloody skin. Eijirou leaned over her hand, and goosebumps sprouted on her skin as his warm breath puffed over her electrified skin and aching bones. With featherlight touches, he inspected her knuckles, prodding as gently as he could to feel for any deviations in the bone. 

“I know this may hurt, but can you bend them?” he asked, looking up at her through his red bangs. Mina whimpered again, hesitant to comply for fear of the pain. However, the glitter in his vermilion eyes urged her to comply. She hesitantly bent her fingers, wincing as pain skittered up her nerves— but it didn’t hurt nearly as much as she thought it would. Eijirou smiled satisfactorily. “You crunched ‘em pretty good, but I don’t think anything is broken or fractured,” he said as he straightened up. 

“Thanks… I can’t believe I did that,” she sighed, using her good hand to knock on the side of her head a few times. How embarrassing, injuring herself like that in front of him! “Well, now that all that drama is over, let’s go inside so I can tell you about the club.” 

Eijirou followed her inside. While she rifled through the teacher’s desk for some bandages, he looked around at the desks, which were empty aside from a build-your-own-telescope kit, Mina’s completed telescope, and astronomical charts and textbooks. As Mina wrapped bandages around her fingers, he looked at her with knitted eyebrows. 

“There’s no one else here yet?” 

“There’s no one else to be here,” she replied with a shrug and a wan smile. “I’m the club’s only member.” When Eijirou’s eyebrows shot up to the roots of his hair, she sadly added, “If that information makes you want to leave, go ahead and do so,” she said with a wave at the door. She then looked down at the adhesive wrapped around her knuckles. “You wouldn’t be the first.” 

“No, I don’t want to leave,” Eijirou said quickly. He marched up to the front of the desk, leaning against it. Mina didn’t know what to look at—his flexing muscles or his bright smile. He tilted his head slightly as he smiled charmingly at her, then said, “Tell me about your club, Mina. I want to know everything.” 

Oh God, he’s hot! Mina screamed inside her head, her good hand flying to her rapidly-beating heart. It took everything within her not to absolutely swoon at the complete sweetheart of a man gracing her with his presence this Friday afternoon. Her eyes watered a little in gratitude, or maybe it was the sheer emotion at being witness to such a wonderful human being’s kindness. 

Thus, Mina did as he asked. She first instructed Eijirou how to build the telescope that he would use on nights they did observations; he bungled through it a little, but remained patient and tried his best to follow the instructions. Mina had to giggle at the absolutely triumphant grin that plastered his face when he successfully assembled the telescope; he held it up over his head and pranced around—nearly giving them both a panic attack when he bumped into a desk and nearly dropped the telescope on the ground. Mina didn’t think she could handle a Shoto 2.0. 

After assembling the telescope, she started him off with easy information—constellations. She unrolled her star map which had all the constellations displayed by season, explaining specifically which ones they could see at the moment. Eijirou was very excited to see them in person, so they arranged a meeting for the following week. True to form, he showed up that Friday night with his telescope and all his zeal, his smile brighter than the full moon hanging high in the sky. 

“It’s hard to believe that people stared at the sky thousands of years ago and traced shapes out of ‘em!” he exclaimed as he plonked his telescope down to the ground. “And made up all these stories to go with ‘em. And all the stories and constellations are different based on what civilization was lookin’ at ‘em!” 

“The stars have always been fascinating,” Mina hummed, gently setting up her telescope and adjusting the lens. “Sometimes I like to find my own constellations and make up stories about them.” 

“Really? Tell me one!” 

“Well, my favorite is the Alien Queen!” 

“The Alien Queen?” Eijirou laughed, making Mina flush shyly. “Show me!” Not waiting for an answer, he shouldered in next to her telescope and peered into it. She flushed darker as his sturdy shoulder dug into the meat of her side, warmth blooming across her skin. With slightly trembling hands, she moved the telescope to the right section of the sky. 

“Do you see that big, bright shiny star right there?” she asked, waiting until Eijirou confirmed. “Well, that’s the tip of the back of her head. If you follow them like this—” she gestated in front of the lens, tracing the star pattern— “it looks kinda like the alien from the horror movie!” 

“Leave it to Mina Ashido to find the Xenomorph constellation,” Eijirou snickered, straightening up to smile at her in amusement. “No wonder you’re the club president.” Mina shyly played with the hem of her skirt, unable to control the giddy smile playing over her lips. 

They spent the rest of the early evening finding the constellations and discussing the various mythologies behind each. Eijirou loved the Greek-based patterns and myths the most. Every time they pointed one out, he would flex dramatically and proclaim how much he loved the famous heroes of old—Hercules, Achilles, Odysseus, Perseus. Mina laughed at his sensational flexing and grunting each time, her giggles bouncing around the empty practice field to join the cricket song. 

Monday morning, Mina was surprised to find Eijirou rushing down the hall towards her as she went to enter her classroom. His face was flushed pink and his forehead dotted with sweat, indicating that he’d sprinted all the way to her. He pin-wheeled to a stop, nearly bumping her with his broad chest, and his breath puffed in her hair as he grinned brightly down at her. 

“Mina! Guess what I saw on the news this morning! The Creati comet is gonna be passing by this Wednesday, and it’ll be visible here that night!” 

“Yeah, I know!” Mina cried. She’d been glued to the news program this morning as astrophysicists and space program officials discussed the once-in-a-lifetime event; it was rumored to be an absolute gorgeous comet, with a rare rosy pink-lavender tail due to its high concentrations of lithium and potassium chloride. She then blushed, warmed by the fact that Eijirou had found it so important to inform her that he’d run all the way across campus first thing in the morning. 

“Yeah! We’re gonna watch it together, right?” he asked, clapping his hands on her shoulders. Mina flushed, fidgeting in place and chewing on the inside of her cheek. 

“A-are you sure? I’m sure you’ll be tired after football practice.” 

“Are you kidding? What kind of Astronomy Club member would I be if I didn’t see this comet?” he objected. 

Mina felt her heart thrum at the statement. Does he enjoy being a member that much? She’d only recruited him as a means to an end, but was it really turning out that Eijirou liked being a member of her club? She felt her belly twist with guilt and a cold flush pulse through her body. She curled into herself a little, blood roaring in her ears and nearly drowning out what he said next. 

“I know you’re planning on going to watch it, so let’s see it together, Mina!” 

“Okay,” she found herself saying before she even processed it. The next two days were a similar blur of guilt and anxiety amidst preparations to view the comet Wednesday evening. All traces of excitement she would normally possess was swallowed up by the remorse poisoning her from the hard ball in the pit of her belly. She couldn’t help but obsess over the fact that she’d recruited Eijirou on false pretenses, abusing his kind heart to use his popularity for her own gain. She’d already received a flood of interest in the club once news had spread that Eijirou was seemingly an official member, but she’d evaded them with half-hearted promises that she’d contact them soon to set up a general interest meeting. 

On Wednesday night she stood by the hydrangea bush, chewing on her bottom lip and tempted to hide within its emerald leaves and pink blossoms so she wouldn’t have to face Eijirou. Before she could take shelter in its branchy depths, the redhead came trotting up the sidewalk, his smile gleaming in the starlight as he called her name. His telescope flopped on his back in its canvas sheath. 

“Hey, Mina!” he grinned when he came to a stop in front of her, panting slightly. Always in such a rush, she thought fondly. No wonder he’s the star quarterback. “Are you excited? I sure am!” 

“Yeah,” she lied. There was no room to be excited with all the guilt filling her to the brim. Eijirou’s smile somehow managed to get brighter. Despite everything, her heart still jumped in her chest when he grabbed her hand, his thick and calloused fingers so strangely perfect around her slim ones, and pulled her onto the practice field. 

“This is perfect!” he exclaimed, looking up at the starry night sky with his hands on his hips. Mina only hummed quietly, robotically unfolding a blanket and placing it over the grass. She’d arranged for the school to shut off the nighttime lights for the evening, giving them a clear view of the moon and stars. Thus, they were the only things that provided illumination as Mina and Eijirou sat down on the soft blanket together. “I didn’t know if we would want to get a better look at the comet, so I brought this!” he said excitedly, slipping the telescope off his back and setting it down between them. Mina hummed again, anxiety swirling in the pit of her belly. In the gloom, she could still see Eijirou’s bright red eyebrows scrunch. 

“Mina…? What’s wrong?” he asked quietly. Mina debated lying for a moment; she nervously plucked at the loose fibers of her stockings, unable to meet his pretty vermillion eyes. The lie never got the chance to dance on her tongue. She knew she had to come clean, to tell him the truth before she toted him along even further. 

“Eijirou… I have to confess something,” she admitted quietly. He shifted beside her, eyebrows raised. 

“What is it?” 

“I’m not as good a person as you think I am.” Her voice shook as tears flooded her eyes. She bit down on her lip as a sniffle slipped free. Eijirou looked at her in utter bewilderment, confusion swirling in those gorgeous vermillion eyes that had struck her the moment she had first seen them. He gently reached out to stroke his fingertips ever-so-lightly down her cheek; she turned away, a tear slipping down her cheek that was still tingling with his featherlight touch. “Don’t,” she begged, her voice nothing more than a strained whisper. “I don’t deserve your sympathy.” 

“Mina…” 

“I used you, Eijirou,” she said finally, choking the words out as her throat constricted with guilt. “I used your popularity for my own gain. I just wanted my club to be popular.” 

She didn’t look at him as the silence hung heavy between them, like an anvil suspended on a slowly fraying rope. She waited with bated breath for the rope to snap and for it to plummet, for him to explode on her like he rightfully should, to tell her she was selfish and cruel and for him to storm away and never look back. She cringed when he inhaled sharply, already preparing for his raised voice. 

He didn’t yell or scream or curse. Instead, his voice was heartbreakingly soft when he murmured, “That doesn’t make you a bad person. That just makes you lonely.” 

Mina’s eyes fluttered as her heart swelled with hope. She didn’t resist when he cupped her cheek and gently turned her tear-stained face to look at him. Her watery eyes met his red ones, and she was so relieved to find them brimming with understanding, not hate or anger. He swept his thumb over her cheek to catch the tears still streaming over her ruddy skin. 

“Mina… I knew that already,” he confessed with a small smile. She gasped in shock, while Eijirou smiled bashfully and rubbed at the back of his neck with his other hand. “As soon as you told me that you were the only member of the club, I figured that you wanted to use my popularity to recruit more people. I was a little bitter about it for a second, but… Then I saw how sad you looked.” He used both his hands to cup her cheeks and leaned forward to press his forehead to hers. “I didn’t want to see that look on your face. Even if you were using me, I wanted you to be happy.” 

“Why?” she hiccuped, chest drawing tight like a balloon ready to burst. “Th-that was so horrible of me… And you still wanted to do that for me? Why?” 

“Because from the moment you jumped out of that hydrangea bush, I’ve been head-over-heels for you,” he purred, mouth twitching up into a smirk. Her face flushed with a fierce, fiery blush and her mouth dropped open in shock. “And maybe I was a little hopeful that I could get you to be head-over-heels for me, too,” he added with a playful wink. Mina couldn’t help but laugh, mostly from the overwhelming relief bubbling up inside her body. She leaned into him, finding solace in how well her small body fit into his muscular one—like a lock and key, like they belonged together. 

Sniffling happily, she curled her fingers into the leathery fabric of his varsity jacket and smiled joyfully. 

“Well, you didn’t have to try very hard. How could I not be head-over-heels for you?”

Before they could say anything else, the sky was suddenly filled with bright light. They both turned to see that the comet had appeared among the stars. Its powdery tail streamed pinkish-blue behind the large white body, slowly traveling across the expanse of inky blue like a leisurely sailboat. Mina inhaled sharply as the pastel colors reflected in her eyes and the light danced over her skin and hair; it truly was the most beautiful thing she’d ever seen. She was so entranced that she didn’t register Eijirou’s hand sneaking under her chin again until he turned her face back. The comet danced in his red eyes, making it a pink nebula of stars and space and beauty. 

No. Those eyes of his were the most beautiful thing she’d ever seen. 

She almost didn’t want to close her own as he leaned in to kiss her, but as soon as his lips smoothed over her own, she couldn’t help it. They drifted shut as she melted against him, savoring the gentle motions of his mouth against hers. Her heart fluttered when his hand drifted up into her cotton-candy hair, twirling around the strands like he was memorizing the feel of the silky threads. He kissed her with rising passion, like an astronaut adrift in space who’d finally found the oxygen he needed. 

They pulled apart slightly panting and blushing the same color as the comet streaming slowly above their heads. He stroked her face gently, then wrapped his arms around her and pulled her down on the blanket. She laughed when he hugged her tight, nuzzled into her hair and inhaled deeply. 

“You smell like hydrangeas.” 

“Eijirou, I thought we were here to watch the comet.” 

“It’s pretty,” he remarked with a glance up at the sky. He then looked down at her with that dazzling smile she adored so much. “But I’ve got a heavenly body right here that I’m more interested in.” 

“Oh my gosh! That’s so corny!” she howled, throwing her head back in laughter. Eijirou snickered and snuggled into the side of her face, making her laugh more at the ticklish sensation of his nose brushing her skin. He peppered butterfly kisses over every inch of skin he could find, making her squirm and giggle in his grasp. 

Finally, he rolled on his side, one arm still snug around her shoulders while he watched the comet slowly make its way across the horizon. She pressed against him, warm and fuzzy and happy. 

“You know, despite the circumstances, I’m still glad you asked me to join, Mina,” Eijirou said with a contented sigh. His fingers drifted up to play with the fluffy strands of her hair. Mina rested her head on his chest, smiling while she watched the comet. 

“Me too, Eijirou. I can’t wait to spend the rest of the school year checking out heavenly bodies.” 

Eijirou gave her a wan look as she snorted piggishly in laughter. 

“You’re not going to let me live that down, are you?” 

“Absolutely not. I’m already planning to sell tee shirts!” 

Eijirou laughed, then rolled over to attack her with snuggles and kisses again. Mina welcomed his embrace and affections. Their laughter drifted up into the sky to join the stars and the streaming glittery trail of the comet, finding a home forever in the vastness of space…

Enjoy this oneshot? Feel free to peruse my Table of Contents!

[camp-counselor-life]

I sped-run planned the entire next member year, including detailed budgets and redoing the event staff pay scales, in a week and a day. I’d made some notes, but they changed a large chunk of the strategy for the council, and I gained all of entrepreneurship and half of life skills, as well as seriously expanding one of my job duties and also gaining a large scale partnership event that was previously (for whatever reason) with the other specialist. I am tired.

I have 37 events between it all, with events within a 1-ish hour radius (no cross-state treks). I changed two of my trainings to “by request” instead of actually running them, so I don’t know when/if/how many of those will run. I also still have the astronomy club and working with the partners to visit their events. So it’s going to be a busy next year.

I am so tired and have had so much coffee in the last week.

[annabellumm]

Can we please appreciate Ravenclaw Fundy for a moment?

Half-blood Fundy who was raised by a muggle inventor mother and a wizard curse-breaker father

Well, raised mostly by his mother since his father was almost always away on a job

But every birthday, Christmas, and New Year, his father would come back with a new trinket, puzzle, or magical gadget as a gift

Fundy, who once he learned that he was a wizard at four years old, was able to completely turn their kitchen into a bounce room from sheer want and after he swiped his father's old wand from the study

His father had to come back in the middle of a business trip just to bring the kitchen back and to make Fundy promise that he won't do that again

Fundy definitely did

His curiosity and creativity knows no bounds, so it was not even remotely a surprise when he got placed into Ravenclaw

The Sorting Hat didn't even need to take a minute to determine his house, with the amount of questions Fundy asked about how the Sorting Hat worked in the span of thirty seconds.

The Sorting Hat had to take a minute to destress after the barrage of thoughts from Fundy

Fundy who was one of the few students who mastered becoming an animagus during their training in Transfiguration (after a secret failed attempt when he was a First Year)

He was able to transform himself into a red fox and back. At times, when he gets angry or stressed, fox ears pop up or his canines become longer and sharper.

And he definitely used this ability when doing pranks or hiding from prefects and Filch

The first failed attempt, he wanted to will himself specifically into an arctic fox, but he couldn't get it right. It landed him in the Infirmary with Professor McGonagall looming over him disapprovingly. Now, he has white streaks in his hair that cannot change back.

The white streaks are also present in the fur of his animagus form.

Fundy who is great at Transfiguration, but his heart is always in Charms. He loves learning new spells and even trying to invent new ones or enchanting everyday objects.

He spends some time in Professor Flitwick's office, especially when he has an idea for a new spell or when he wants to learn how to modify a spell.

He practically sees Professor Flitwick as sort of a mentor/father figure

Fundy who once tried to be an announcer for Quidditch games, but he keeps getting distracted and being biased towards a certain Slytherin seeker.

"And that was another 10 points to the Gryffindor team! They are on fire today, but they better watch out for the Slytherin seeker! He's been circling the field and looking the Snitch with his gorgeous, gorgeous eyes. And his freckles!"

"MR. FUNDY!"

"Wh-wh-what? Have you seen his eyes, professor? They're beautiful!"

Yeah, that job didn't last long.

Ravenclaw Fundy, the guy everyone goes to when they need creative solutions or an extra hand, because he always loves to help and to solve problems

Fundy who, although he's not on the Quidditch team, loves flying on a broomstick. 

He loves being in the air in general. He would find out different ways to fly or travel through the air using magic or magical objects.

Let's not talk about the time he convinced a group of his friends to collectively wingardium leviosa him to the top of the Astronomy Tower.

Or the fact that it almost landed him an extensive stay at the infirmary.

Fundy who absolutely goes bonkers in Honeydukes. So much so that Ranboo and Eret have to drag him out every time they go.

Because sweets + Fundy = a sugar high and someone's belongings either on fire, stolen, or shot into the air

Fundy who has a lot of Hufflepuff friends, so some nights you can find him at the Hufflepuff table in the Great Hall, goofing around with Nikki, Ranboo, Tubbo, and Eret

And he never feels out of place with them

Fundy who always does his best in his studies because he loves it when he gets recognized for his hard work

A lot of professors find it both endearing and somewhat exasperating when Fundy is almost always the only one raising his hand to answer a question.

Ravenclaw Fundy who becomes so obsessed with learning a spell or a new magical invention that he would stay in the library until Madam Pince would kick him out

And even then, he would take his books, notes, and ideas, light a candle in his dorm room (much to the annoyance of his roommates), and read, read, read until the early morning light finds his untouched bed.

Fundy who always answers the riddles from the eagle knocker at the entrance of Ravenclaw Tower faster than anyone else could because he always think outside of the box

But even though he could do that easily, he uses a secret passage that he found to get into Ravenclaw Tower without going through the eagle knocker, because why not?

Fundy who got absolutely smashed after sneaking a bottle of firewhisky away in secret Common Room party and woke up taped to the ceiling of the Astronomy Tower. Wilbur had found him and helped him down.

Fundy who always wanted to be a prefect, but could never get the spot because of his reputation as a prankster and proclivity to break rules

He once turned the whole Ravenclaw Tower upside down for a prank, which landed himself in two weeks worth of detention

Let’s not forget the time he pranked a group of Gryffindors by turning their skin into a rainbow lightshow after they made fun of Eret

Fundy whose least favorite class is Potions because he can’t really focus on sticking to the instructions in the book when he just wants to see what would happen if he dumped this or that into whatever he’s brewing

Fundy who became the main harpsichordist in the Hogwarts Orchestra and who sometimes plays the accompaniment for the Frog Choir

Flitwick was so amazed at his musical talent when he found Fundy writing his own song in the practice room that he asked Fundy to perform his songs once a week at dinner in the Great Hall

Fundy who always smelled like parchment paper, ink, smoke, the earth, and green tea

Fundy who absolutely loves taking the Knight Bus because it’s like a roller coaster. He would suggest it every time he and Nikki need to get somewhere. He never really liked using the Floo Network. Nikki is absolutely terrified of the bus though.

Can we talk about Fundy looking through compartments on the Hogwarts Express in his Third Year, seeing a First Year all alone playing on a Game Boy and barging in? The awkward kid introduced himself as Ranboo and from then on, they become best friends and pranking partners. 

Fundy who wants to become a metal charmer that can create magical inventions or a spell-maker after Hogwarts.

Just any job where can go batshit crazy and discover new things

Fundy who loves to sneak out and have sleepovers with his friends at the castle grounds under a blanket of stars, much to their Ravenclaw Prefect George’s exasperation (though George would never tell anyone if they did have the sleepover, so long as they would let him sleep there as well)

Fundy who is the head of the Chess Club and plays Wizard Chess frequently with Tubbo, George, and Sapnap

Ravenclaw Fundy, you guys!

A/N: This was seriously so fun to make, and I’d like to make this into a series with other members of the Dream SMP. Who would you like to see next? Please let me know by sending a message or even sharing your headcanon for Ravenclaw Fundy or any other member. I’d love to know your thoughts! 

[enviedear]

the empty feeling → draco malfoy

DESCRIPTION ⌙ in which malfoy is consoled by a girl who can’t help but fall for him.

PAIRING ⌙ draco x fem!reader

WORD COUNT ⌙ 2.1k

*:･ﾟ✧*:･ﾟ✧

you thought the reason your heart never fully recovered was because of the fact you had to see him everyday.

every single day you saw him. he was laughing, bickering, looking out a window, eating, reading, and in conversations. you couldn’t help but watch. you tried not to. you tried to make the love you had for him diminish. or maybe at least dull. it wouldn’t work.

you didn’t mean to fall in love with draco malfoy. however you did. your heart overruled your brain. at least when it came to him.

you think back to the day you knew you loved the slytherin boy. it was a foggy and rainy day that truly began at a slug club meeting.

“dreadful weather we’re having right, miss y/l/n?” slughorn asks you.

the rest of the slug club stares at you as you respond, “i quite like the rain. i get the best sleep when it rains.”

he nods and replies,”ah, just like your father. i remember he loved to listen the rain when he was your age. does he still listen? to the the rain, my dear?”

you didn’t want to talk about your father. not that you didn’t love the man, but you knew there wasn’t much you could indulge. he kept his work close to him and never really told you much. you knew slughorn would eventually lead the conversation to your fathers work.

“sometimes professor. he’s usually busy these days though.” you say, looking down at your ice cream.

busy because of people like zabini and crabbe’s parents. as you looked back up at slughorn you didn’t miss the sly look blaise gave you. you quickly turned your attention back to the professor.

“ah! i wouldn’t expect him not to be. amazing work your father does, making such simple objects into wands. you know my dear, i heard he turned a rusty old spoon into a very powerful wand!” slughorn boasts for you.

you smile as a response and allow the teacher to spark conversation with the other club members.

what slughorn forgets to add is that the wands your father has begun to produce are being used by many deatheater families. since the wands cannot be tracked, and are easy to pass off as illegitimate objects. they buy them for their children and it’s not as if your father or the ministry can do much about it.

plus, your father shouldn’t have to loose his job just because others take advantage of him. and even if he did make the damn things trackable that would be putting a target on his back.

as you mull over your thoughts slughorn stands and bids you all a goodnight. you politely tell the man night, and walk out of the room. you were going to head to the hufflepuff common room, but as you passed moaning myrtle’s bathroom you stopped in your tracks.

you heard crying. and the cries weren’t myrtle’s usual wails, but a boy’s. on further inspection you found that they also weren’t just any boys cries but, malfoy’s.

you slowly creeped into the abandoned bathroom, making sure to not alert malfoy that you were there.

he sat by the sinks and looked utterly distressed. his eyes a deep red. he looked completely broken. you’d never seen the boy like this. and it broke your own heart.

against your better judgement you cleared your throat to make yourself known.

he looked up at you, defeated.

you didn’t say anything as you bent down and gave the boy a hug. he didn���t say anything as he hugged you back. he just let his tears escape onto your shirt.

eventually he let you go. you didn’t have the slightest clue what to say. nothing seemed right.

“don’t tell a soul about this.” malfoy grimaced, getting to his feet.

you looked at him shocked, “i wasn’t. i-“ he cut you off with a scowl.

“draco you have to trust me. please i won’t say anything just.. take care of yourself.” you said.

he didn’t reply. he just walked out. leaving you confused.

after that day you couldn’t see draco malfoy as a nuisance. no, after that day you couldn’t help but to romanticize the boy. you didn’t think he bullied because he was hateful. no not at all. you thought he did it because he was lonely, sad, or upset. you found his worst qualities easy forgivable. you knew he was broken. but you also knew it wasn’t an excuse, you just couldn’t help it.

so you continued to watch him daily. eyeing him as much as you could. you began to love the way his face would turn into a sneer at the slighted inconvenience. you loved the way he held his cup. you loved the way he looked over his books. and for some reason you began hoping. hoping that maybe one day he would eye you too.

alas, the boy went and broke your heart by dating pansy. you knew it wasn’t done to be malicious. you knew he didn’t know about your feelings. you knew he was probably very happy with pansy and she with him.

though, you’d still find the boy in the bathroom on a regular basis and have to console him. each time you’d think he’d come around. each time he did not.

you kept hoping though. it proved you detrimental as you went from being a happy and loving person to someone who harbored far too much loathing. you couldn’t help it, you felt so cheated. how could you love and care for this boy and he not even say a word to you?

your friends noticed your behavior.

“y/n you’re taking out whatever is upsetting you on us. and you won’t even tell us what’s wrong.”

then your teachers.

“miss y/l/n your grades are slipping. and you’re not acting like yourself at all. is everything ok?”

then your sibling(s).

“i didn’t do anything to you, stop treating me like this y/n.”

and finally your parent(s).

“honey, are you sure everything is alright at school? you don’t have to go back if something is seriously wrong.”

you were better than before. you were finally home. you didn’t have to see the boy anymore. you didn’t have to be reminded of him every waking moment.

but still, you weren’t you.

you never told any of the people worried about you why exactly you weren’t ok. you hated the thought of being this upset over a boy you genuinely barely knew.

and even though you told yourself repeatedly that you in fact did not know malfoy, your heart proclaimed otherwise.

when you returned to school, this time in your sixth year, you decided that you needed to avoid the problem.

so you did. you ate breakfast and dinner without looking up from your food. you paid far too much attention in class. you never went to hogsmeade. you isolated yourself.

and it worked, more than less. you only caught a glimpse of malfoy a handful of times. each time less painful.

by november you began to forget about your weird fascination with malfoy. but when you received news that he and pansy had broken up your heart fluttered just like it would have a few months ago.

but still, finally you felt more like yourself. you began talking to your friends more. you went on a couple of dates. started helping out first years. everything was falling into place.

you tried to ignore the off feeling of emptiness that still lingered in you.

it’s january when you bump into him, on your way to the astronomy tower to meet your friends.

“sorry.” you say, continuing on your path.

“wait, come here, y/l/n.” he says, causing you to double back.

you turn to face him not even slightly happy that you’re allowing this exchange.

“i- well, i wanted to thank you for never telling anyone about last year. i’m sorry i was so brash to you,” he pauses. “that’s all.” he says.

you look at him stunned. it took him a year to apologize. although you knew he had no idea the amount of internal struggle he has caused you, you feel your blood boil.

“i’m glad you spent an entire year gaining the courage to apologize for your behavior. however, i don’t accept your apology. you’re such a coward, malfoy. i mean, you’re afraid that people would find out i consoled you. as if it’s even a big deal. just leave me alone.” you seethe.

whole-heartedly you couldn’t help your outburst. the boy just aggravated you. how could he apologize now?

“i’m sorry i didn’t apologize sooner, but if i were you i’d take the apology i was given.” he glares at you.

“or what malfoy? what could you possibly do?” you ask.

“i never said i’d do anything! i just suggested you take the apology. i’m sorry i didn’t tell you sooner, okay? you just looked so put off all the bloody time. i didn’t want to bother you.” he groans.

now your ears were hot and eyes stone cold.

“put off?” you spluttered, “it’s your fucking fault i looked so put off. you worried me to no end. i never knew if you were ok! and although i know it’s not my business it still hurt. i was so upset for you. and then you wouldn’t say a word to me. and then you dated parkinson. and-“ you stop yourself.

“you just apologized too late, alright.”

he looks at you bewildered, “i’m sorry i feel like i’m missing something.”

you roll your eyes, “i loved you draco. i don’t know why but i did. i wanted to make sure you were ok. everytime you needed me i was there. i never even asked for anything in return, not even human decency. but i shouldn’t have had to ask for that. you should have been nice to me. i was beyond nice to you.”

he furrows his brows,“i am truly sorry, y/n. i didn’t know. i was being selfish and i can admit i used you for your kindness. but if you’d give me the chance i’d be good to you. good for you. i- i never meant to hurt you.”

your cold gaze didn’t leave, “i don’t believe you.”

he sighs, “come here.”

he holds his hand out to you and you take it cautiously.

he leads you into the place where it all started, myrtle’s bathroom. he begins pulling a book out from his bag, and then he hands it to you.

“just look it over.” he says, his voice barely above a whisper.

you open the book and are immediately greeted by drawings. illustrations littering the pages, and they’re all of you.

you turn to one page, it’s a drawing of you outside studying. underneath the picture sat draco’s neat writing.

she came to calm me down today. fourth time this week. she still hasn’t told anyone. that means a lot to me. i again didn’t tell her why i was upset. it seems stupid to tell her about my problems. she’s too pure for them. i’d never want to upset her. i think i love her. i don’t know how. i barely even talk to her. but her hugs are nice. and she’s always so kind. i just wish i knew how to tell her what’s going on. i wish i wasn’t so scared of her rejection. it’s all too much. at least i have this. all of these pictures of her. now i cant forget her even if i tried. but of course, i’d never want to forget her.

you look up from the page. you cant help the few tears that escape your eyes.

“you loved me? the whole time? and you didn’t tell me?” you ask.

he bites his lip, “you didn’t tell me either. plus i knew i was a prat. i didn’t think you’d even want to be loved by someone like me.”

you huff out a pained breath, “draco i have loved you since the day you allowed me to comfort you. i wanted nothing more than to help you and to make sure you were ok.”

he doesn’t say anything, instead he envelops you in a tight hug. the embrace eases your worry and soothes the empty part of you. the two of you continue to hold eachother for minutes on end, and by the time you pull away you know draco meant every single word.

“please never stop caring.” he tells you.

“never.” you agree.

and you mean it. you can’t stop the way your heart beats for the blonde boy, and you didn’t want to. you love him. almost as if you needed to.

[ifyouvegotenoughnerve]

Against All Odds Part 6: Left Behind

Hogwarts is no longer a place of comfort as Ginny and Neville face the challenge of leading the DA during the school’s darkest hours. Some nights are more difficult to cope with than others.

FFN | Ao3

Notes: Warnings: Underage drinking, hints at abuse

Didn't initially plan to write this right now, but it's been a bug in my head all day and I simply couldn't get anything done without thinking about it. This is a scene I’ve thought about for a long time. So, here we are, much sooner than expected! If you’re lookin’ for some angst, this ones for you.

Standing at the Astronomy Tower with a smuggled bottle of firewhiskey in hand was likely one of the last things Ginny Weasley ought to have been doing in the middle of the night, but tonight she decided she didn't care if she had to pay the consequences for being found. 

It hadn’t been hard to get up there. By now, they’d memorized the Slytherin Prefect routes, thanks to Luna creating a rather helpful map and timetable of their rounds. The harder part was getting in and out of the common room without Neville seeing her. Thankfully, her detention had ended early. He must have been in the shower when she snuck back in, leaving a note telling him she was safe before creeping back out.

Part of her knew she was being irresponsible. She had an unenforced duty to protect her peers, particularly the other DA members and younger students, but for the first time in what might have been months no students that she was aware of had any late night detentions with the Carrows, and so the likelihood of being called to rescue others was minimal. With Luna gone, taken to who knew where, the task of keeping the DA running was left to Ginny and Neville, and with only the two of them, the job was becoming more exhausting with each passing day. The morale of the whole castle had fallen to next to nothing. 

These days, Dumbledore’s Army looked more like a rescue crew than a Defense Against the Dark Arts club. Students around the castle bore new scars every day, a physical reminder to everyone of the consequences for fighting back, but the worst detentions left no visible marks. With threats much greater than line writing hanging over their heads, asking others to resist with the DA was becoming a selfish request. 

The corridors these days held a certain darkness to them. Hogwarts did not feel the same anymore. Ginny took a long sip of the bottle in hand, hoping it would clear away the sickening feeling of the most recent detention she’d spent in Amycus Carrow's classroom. 

At the sound of footsteps entering behind her, she immediately spun around with her wand drawn.

“Easy, Gin. It’s just me.” Neville stood at the entrance, hands held up in surrender. His eyes shifted to the bottle in her hand before she had time to hide it behind her back. Caught. She blinked back at him guiltily. “That bad tonight, huh?”

“I needed to clear my head.”

“I was waiting in the common room for you. When I asked Lavender if she’d seen you in the girls’ dormitory she said no.” Did she hear… anger in his voice? No. It was worry. Ginny sighed.

Their unspoken promise. On detention nights, one always waited up by the fireplace for the other to return. The ritual had started back in October, as an accident, really. Ginny had been sitting there late, unable to sleep. Neville came back after midnight, a nasty bruise on his eye and a gash on his arm. It was the first time detentions meant more than just an inconvenience. From that day forward, they always waited for each other. Not just to make sure they got back safe, but for comfort on the worst nights.

As time passed, they both found it nearly impossible to sleep in their own dormitories. The constant edge of feeling like they needed to be ready to save someone from the Carrows at a moment’s notice combined with vivid nightmares made sleep hard to come by. So most nights, they feel asleep by the fireplace in the common room, Ginny’s head on Neville’s shoulder or Neville’s head in Ginny’s lap.

“I hoped you would take the night off. I left you a note that I’d made it back alright.”

“You’ve always ignored my notes.,” Neville’s eyes narrowed. “And you know I’m just as likely to take a night off as you are, which is never. I thought Carrow hurt you.”

“I’m sorry, Neville. I should have known you’d stay up.”

“He did do something to you. That’s why you’re drinking.”

Ginny turned her back to him to face the railing, staring at the Hogwarts grounds below them. “I don’t want to talk about it. That’s why I came up here in the first place. How’d you know to find me here?”

Neville shrugged. “Honestly, first place I thought to look. You can see the Quidditch pitch perfectly from here. And it’s an easy path to take without running into Prefects.”

She smiled slightly. “You know me too well.” She lifted the bottle to her lips for a long sip, the alcohol burning down her throat and leaving a warm, fiery feeling in her belly. “Want some?”

“I shouldn’t. At least one of us needs to be alert. How’d you even get that in here, anyways? The Carrows searched everyone’s bags upon arrival after the holiday.”

“If I told you, I’d have to kill you.” Ginny raised a brow at him and stretched the contraband out to him. Despite what he said, Neville took the bottle from her hand and took a sip for himself, sputtering immediately.

“Blimey what is that? It’s like… liquid fire. That’s not normal firewhiskey.”

“Sorry. Forgot to mention, it’s er… a treat from Fred and George. They’d been… experimenting with it. It’s a bit stronger than normal,” she smiled sheepishly. “I don’t… I don’t do this often, you know. I’ve had this sitting under my bed since we got back, I haven’t touched it, I promise.”

“I’m not here to scold you, Ginny. We deserve a break every now and then.” Neville looked at her seriously. “What did he do?”

She stared out at the grounds below her, her eyes stoney and her face untelling. “A boggart,” she whispered. “It- it was Tom. And I was so tired, I couldn’t get it out of my head that it wasn’t real. I haven’t seen him since… Not like that, anyways. He’s there in my dreams every single night but it was different with him there right in front of me. It sounded just like him, it was so real. The whole time, Carrow was watching, taking notes, I suppose so that later on he can remember how to use my greatest fears against me,” she shook her head. “I could feel him Neville, his voice whispering in my ear, his hands… And then Carrow got rid of him, because I couldn’t. Took his place, pretending to save me, calling me Ginevra. That’s what Riddle called me, because it was the first thing I wrote in the diary. I can’t stand to be called it anymore because of him.”

Nevile’s jaw clenched. “That sick bastard. I could kill him. Next time I’m alone in a room with him I’ll-”

“No you won’t Neville. That’s what got us here in the first place. That’s what has us crippled on the floor of their classrooms every other day. Can’t you see it, it’s not worth fighting anymore.” She snatched the firewhiskey back from Neville, taking another sip from it.

“That’s not true, Ginny, you know that’s not true. Don’t let them get to you like this, it’s exactly what they want.”

“It’s too late! They’ve already gotten it!” She shouted. “I couldn’t even perform riddikulus against a boggart, Neville. They teach you that in third year, and I couldn’t do it. I just stood there, petrified, shaking. I couldn’t even remember my wand was in my pocket to protect myself. What’s the point of fighting if I’m too weak to fight for myself?” Her voice had grown quieter, her eyes avidly avoiding Neville’s now. Despite it all, she felt like the Carrows had finally found a way to put her under their control. And truly, that was her worst fear, and always had been since her first year. Being under someone else’s control.

“You’re being too hard on yourself. You’ve spent countless hours under the torture of manipulative freaks. They know how to get under your skin by now. And they know we were out late last night saving that second year from the Slytherin Prefects, they know you’re worn down. No one would be able to fight a boggart in that state.” He stepped closer to her, attempting to grab Ginny’s hand, but she snatched it away from him before he had the chance.

“What’s the point, Neville? Really, what’s the point? We haven’t been able to have a DA meeting in weeks, the castle is a bloody nightmare. Neither of us sleep anymore. Every night is a gamble as to who gets to take the Cruciatus Curse for saving a first year from getting it instead.”

“What happened to ‘against all odds’, Ginny? Our odds are tough, does that mean we give up? We give up when it gets tough? You, of all people, are the person I’d expect to be giving up right now.” The phrase Neville had said at the end of the previous year had become something they said now quite often. A sort of mantra, between her, Neville, and Luna, for when things got tough. A reminder that they were stronger than what they’d been dealt. Only Luna wasn’t here anymore.

“‘Against all odds’ is a stupid promise. One we can’t keep. We’re playing a game of survival, Neville, not a game of chance. Luna’s gone. What are we still fighting for? We’ve lost our game, Neville, can’t you see that?”

“What about for Harry?”

Ginny froze. Harry. “Don’t bring him into this,” she snapped.

“What, so you’ve given up on Harry too?”

“Harry left me.” She hissed. The truth was, while she tried her hardest, not a day went by that she didn’t think of Harry. And every day the thought of him hurt even more. It hurt to fantasize about the day he’d come back. It hurt more to imagine that he’d forgotten about her. Even worse to think that he wouldn’t come back.

“I don’t believe you for a second. You know you’ll always be waiting for Harry, no matter how much you pretend you don’t care anymore. You’re only saying this because you’re angry. He left you to protect you, and you know that.” Neville’s eyes had narrowed, his arms crossed over his chest.

“I don’t need him to protect me. He’s done a lot more harm this way. Do you know how hard it is, every damn detention, getting interrogated about him? They think I’m just being stubborn, that I know something. So every time I say ‘I don’t know’ I’m back on the floor again and the end of that blasted curse. But I don’t know a thing. It’d be better if I did know something, just something small, so that I could toss them a bone and save myself the torture.”

“It’s better than if you did know something. Because you’d never give him up, and you’d go mad in order to save him and the others. And trust me, Ginny, I know better than anyone what that type of heroic looks like.” His voice grew colder, and while Ginny didn’t want to admit it, she knew he was right. She grabbed the bottle again, the fire in her belly no longer just from the drink.

“He left me like everybody else has. Like every brother who went to Hogwarts before me. Like Charlie to go play with dragons, like Bill to run off with that wretched Fleur, like Percy to join the Ministry, like Fred and George for their joke shop, like Ron my first year when I needed him most. Like Hermione without saying goodbye. Harry left me to go save the day, leaving me behind to deal with all of this. I’m always left behind. Always.” The alcohol had made her lips loose and words that were usually locked in her mind bubbled out before she could stop them. The hurt she tried to hide was betrayed by the crack in her voice.

Ginny cocked her head at Neville, taking in the sight of the friend next to her. He’d slimmed down over the course of the year, they both had. He’d grown into himself, now taller, stronger looking. No longer the chubby, clumsy boy she’d first met. They’d shared a different kind of comfort this year. A sad one. A comfort grown from seeing too much, and understanding things they never should have had to.

“Come to think of it, Neville, you’re the only one who hasn’t left me.”

Neville stared back at her, his stance relaxing with a sigh. “I’m never going to, Gin. You know that. We need each other now more than ever. We’re all we have left.”

She looked into his eyes, caught under the moonlight. Green, like Harry’s, but darker. Sadder. She wondered how she’d never noticed them until this moment. In the silence that hung in the air, Ginny had moved closer to him, rested her hand on his cheek. Warm. A stark contrast to the chilly air around them. Something, the firewhiskey maybe, brought her closer yet, and then her lips onto his.

They weren’t soft. No- tough from the cut healing on them. But they were plush, and while hesitant, melted against hers. Her arms wrapped around his neck and Merlin, it felt so nice to kiss someone. She hadn’t kissed someone in so long. Close to him, his warmth covered her, safe-

The warmth was gone. Her eyes opened and Neville jolted away from her, now at an arm’s length distance. He had somehow managed to capture the bottle into his own hand. He lifted it, examining it closely and feeling how it was nearly half empty. Then he eyed Ginny, her small frame. She didn’t sound like she had half a bottle in her. But everything else about her said otherwise.

“You’re drunk, Ginny.” His eyes looked sad, pitying almost.

She stepped back from him, feeling embarrassed and foolish. “I’m sorry,” she whispered. An awkward silence hung in the air. Her head danced as she tried to focus on his eyes.

Neville’s arms wrapped around her, pulling her head into his chest. In his comfort, a sob shuddered through her, the tears coming fast and hot. He held her tight and his fingers combed through her hair.

“You don’t have to pretend, you know. Not around me. You don’t have to be so tough all the time,” he murmured.

Ginny nodded her head against him, wrapping her own arms around him in turn. She didn’t try to stop herself anymore. Neville was right. There weren’t first years here that she needed to put a brave face on for, just him, and this wasn’t the first time she’d let him see her like this. In fact, he was probably the only person she’d let see her like this. It felt good, letting everything go for just a moment. Letting go of Tom, of rescue missions, of painful detentions, of being left behind, of missing Luna, of the pain from the thought of Harry. Every piece of hurt a thorn poking into her skin, sinking deeper with each passing month that she’d ignored them, now fell out in the form of a tear. Soon she didn’t even know why she was crying anymore, but the tears didn’t stop. Maybe the alcohol, but more likely just built up tension, exhaustion, that she had held on for far too long that had been waiting to be released.

“Now isn’t that a better way of coping than firewhiskey is?” Neville said after some time, smiling down at her. She choked out a laugh as she lifted her chin to look at him. His thumb traced a tear off her cheek.

“I shouldn’t have kissed you. I’m sorry,” she whispered.

“I know you miss him, but I’m no replacement for Harry.”

Ginny nodded, pulling herself away from Neville’s arms and leaning against the railing of the tower. “I think I just… got caught up. I just wish he’d send me anything. An owl, something, so I know they’re alive. That’s the hardest part.”

“You think they’re still out there?” Neville moved to stand next to her, mimicking her stance. The bottle sat between them.

“I know they are. It’s… it’s just a feeling I have. Maybe not that they’re out there but more that… I’d know if they weren’t.” She lifted her head to look at the stars above them, but the movement made her dizzy and caused her to stumble back a few steps.

“You know, if you hadn’t kissed me, I wouldn’t have known you’re positively hammered right now,” Neville grinned down at her. “A bit scary, really.”

“I’m a Weasley. We hold our liquor well.” She looked back at him and frowned. “Neville, do you love me?” Her words out slow, the end of one bumping into the start of the next.

Neville’s head fell back as he laughed. “Gin, of course I do. But not like that. And you don’t love me like that either. You love Harry. You’ve always loved Harry.”

Ginny grinned back at him, wrapping her arms around his waist and letting her head lean into his shoulder. His arm wrapped around her in response. “Yeah… I supposed you’re right on that. How come you’re always right, lately? Kind of annoying, really,” she humphed. “Sucks being in love. Hurts a lot sometimes. Like right now. I think things might be easier if I weren’t.”

“Maybe, but it’ll be worth it. I’ll bet you anything Harry’s thinking of you just as much as you’re thinking of him. And when he comes back, it’ll be better than before,” he gave Ginny’s shoulder a squeeze. “What you two have is special. And despite what you say, it’s not going anywhere.”

Neville always knew the right things to say, but he also never said things he didn’t believe. It was what made his words all that more comforting in times like this. “I’m sorry about what I said earlier. About ‘against all odds’. It’s not stupid. It’s probably the only thing keeping me going. Reminds me what it felt like when this year started. That energy that’s kept us going.” She hiccuped.

“I know you didn’t mean it, Gin. And we need to believe it more now more than ever. Otherwise we’ve got nothing left.”

“Thanks for always putting my pieces back together,” she whispered.

“That’s what I’m here for. You’ve done it for me more times than you know,” Neville smiled back at her. “But for now, I’d say it’s time to get you to bed. I reckon you’re going to have a bit of a headache tomorrow.”

“I won’t,” she hummed. “Against all odds, I will not have a headache!” Ginny slurred.

“Sure, that’s one way to use it,” Neville laughed, looping his arm around her and guiding her back down the Astronomy Tower stairs.

[messr-black]

Basics:

Character’s Name → Sirius Orion Black

Character’s Nickname(s) → Siri, Padfoot, Pads, Black

Age → 18 years old

Birthdate  → 3rd November 1959

Zodiac Sign → Scorpio

Ethnicity  → British

Gender  → Male

Sexual Orientation → Bisexual

Blood Type → AB +

Species  → Pureblood

Appearance:

Hair color  → Black

Eye color → Bright grey

Height → 5′10′’

Weight →  Around 12 stone

Scars → He has a good few scars, from many different things. Most noticeably a long one across his shoulder blades from a particularly nasty argument with his parents.

Tattoos → None yet but he tends to get loads once he graduates.

Birthmarks → One above his right knee.

Piercings → He has one of his ears pierced.

Dress/clothing preferences  → In Hogwarts, usually his uniform without the tie. When he’s not in his uniform he usually opt for muggle band t-shirt and jeans, sometimes with a leather or dragon skin jacket.

Right/left handed/ambidextrous  → Left handed.

Glasses/contacts → Neither

Wizarding World:

Blood Status → Pureblood

School Attended → Hogwarts

School House → Gryffindor

War Alliance → Order of The Phoenix

Wand →  9’’, Unyielding, Unicorn tail hair core, Aspen wood

Patronus → Black dog (Those with the dog patronus are very loyal to those they care about, but can vary widely in personality, in extreme ways. Some are the silent type, speaking only to specific individuals and keeping within their comfort zone. They are hesitant in their situations and can seem to be stand-offish or intimidating to some. Others are quite bubbly, speaking to everyone and trying to be friendly and cordial. However when this demeanor is threatened they can become very blunt and harsh, showing aspects of the quieter dogs)

Boggart → Losing everyone he loves in one way or another.

Amortentia → The smell of fire burning (Particularly the one in the gryffindor common room), chocolate cake in the oven, the smell when it’s lashing rain and leather.

Mirror Of Erised → Himself after the war with his friends and Regulus by his side, all happy and safe.

Family and Relationships:

Parents → Orion and Walburga Black

Siblings → Regulus Black.

Grandparents → Arcturus Black III, Melania Black, Pollux Black and Irma Black

Marital Status → Single.

Significant Other → None technically but he’d say James.

Children → None.

Pets → An owl.

Other family members → Bellatrix Black, Andromeda Black, Narcissa Black Alphard Black, Cygnus Black and Druella Black to name just a few. James, Fleamont and Euphemia Potter

Friends → James Potter, Remus Lupin, Peter Petiigrew. Sirius is friendly with almost everyone, excluding most Slytherins.

Enemies → Most of his family, any blood purists and Severus Snape.

Religion:

The religion they follow (if any) → None.

Superstitions → He doesn’t have any.

Location:

Country of Birth → England.

Place of Birth (Town, city, etc) → Borough of Islington, London,

First Language → English.

Accents → Sirius still has quite a posh accent from growing up in Pureblood society but he does a good job at covering it up. It does become quite obvious though when he gets mad.

Schooling:

House → Gryffindor

Best Subject in School → Defense Against the Dark Arts

Worst Subject in School → Herbology

Additional Classes Taken → Charms, Transfiguration, Potions and Care of Magical creatures. He signed up for Astronomy but never actually goes to the class.

Quidditch  → Doesn’t play on the team but enjoys playing for fun.

Are they a Prefect?  → No.

Extra curricular activities  → The Slug Club.

Home:

Live with parents/grandparents/alone/other → Spent the Summer with James, currently loves in Hogwarts and is planning on getting his own place once he graduates.

House, apartment, etc → He would love a loft style apartment.

How Many Bedrooms? → He would like two.

Mode of transportation → Muggle motorcycle.

Picture of bedroom at home → In Grimmauld Place, this was his bedroom.

Address → N/A

Inner Workings Of Your Character:

Secrets → He’s an unregistered animagus.

Fears → Regulus picking the wrong side in the war, losing his friends to the war. Also wasps.

Worries → He’s afraid that he’ll do something to mess up again and that his friends will leave him.

Eating Habits → Sirius eats far more than he should.

Food preferences → He’ll eat almost anything but he particularly loves anything sweet.

Sleep preferences → Sirius likes to go to bed late and wake up late.

Book preferences → The closest Sirius ever gets to books is motorcycle magazines.

Music preferences → Muggle rock.

Introverted/extroverted → Extroverted.

Optimist/pessimist → Pessimist.

Hobbies → Listening to music, pranking, flirting, generally annoying people, flying, sex, drinking.

Pet peeves → People who chew with their mouth open, anyone who doesn’t fancy him, clocks that tick really loudly.

Prejudices → He instantly dislikes all Slytherins.

Proud of → Whoever invented sugar quills.

Biggest vulnerability  → The fact that he sometimes feels very very alone and reliant on his friends.

Embarrassed by → Sometimes he gets really bad nightmares which really embarrasses him in front of his friends.

Worst memory → When he told Snape to go the Shrieking Shack on a full moon.

Best memory → Being the first Black to be sorted into Gryffindor.

Skilled at → Non-verbal magic, flying, dueling, talking his way out of trouble, showing off.

Unskilled at → Dealing with upset people, staying calm when he’s angry, talking about how he feels, apologising seriously.

Attitude → Arrogant and conceited, but caring underneath it all.

Obsessions → Muggle music and bikes.

Stresses → His family.

Addictions → Cigarettes.

Allergies → He likes to claim that he’s allergic to cats but really he has no allergies.

Medical history → Has broken plenty of bones from general rough + tumble and recklessness growing up.

Favourite Object Kept In - And Why:

Their closet → His muggle leather jacket that he bought instead of the dress robes his Mother actually gave him the money for.

Their bedroom → His bed. He loves sleeping.

Their purse/bag → The mirror that James has a matching one to.

Their fridge → Chocolate milk.

Their desk → The Marauders Map. (On the rare occasion they remember to put it away)

Their pockets → An old Black family ring that his uncle Alphard gave to him.

Favourites:

Favorite Animal:  → Dogs.

Favorite Band:  → He couldn’t pick a favourite, he has too many that he loves.

Favorite Book:  → None.

Favorite Color:  → Red.

Favorite Country:  → Spain.

Favorite Drink: → He would never admit it but hot chocolate. Especially with a hint of rum.

Favorite Food: → Cheeseburger.

Favorite Flavor:  → Chocolate.

Favorite Movie: → Rocky Horror Picture Show

Favorite Musical Genre: → Rock.

Favorite Mythical Creature: →  Phoenix.

Favorite Number:  → 13.

Favorite Pastime:  → Hanging out with his mates.

Favorite Person:  → James Potter.

Favorite Place:  → Hogwarts.

Favorite Season:  → Autumn.

Favorite Song: → Black Dog - Led Zeppelin, mainly just for the name.

Favorite Spell: → Accio.

Least Favorite Animal:  → Thestrals

Least Favorite Band:  → The Hobgoblins

Least Favorite Book: → Lupine Lawlessness: Why Lycanthropes Don’t Deserve to Live by Professor Emerett Picardy

Least Favorite Color:  → Green.

Least Favorite Country:  →

Least Favorite Drink: → Pumpkin juice

Least Favorite Food:  → Stew.

Least Favorite Flavor:  → Banana.

Least Favorite Movie: → He hasn’t really seen enough movies to have a least favourite.

Least Favorite Musical Genre:  → Classical.

Least Favorite Mythical Creature: →  Cornish pixies.

Least Favorite Number:  → 12

Least Favorite Pastime: → Homework/study.

Least Favorite Person:  → It’s a close tie between Voldemort and his Mother.

Least Favorite Place:  → His old house.

Least Favorite Season: → Summer because he has to leave Hogwarts and his friends

Least Favorite Song:  → You’re so vain - Carly Simon

Least Favorite Spell: → Crucio.

Sexual Life:

Gender You Last Had Sex With: →  Female

Dominant or Submissive: →  Dom 90% of the time

Fetishes:  → Bondage, public places.

Turnons:  → Battling for control, teasing others, high heels.

Turn-offs:  → Being teased.

Favourite Position: → Doggy style. “Table for two” - Girl lying back on a table with him between her legs, holding onto her hips and her feet on his shoulders.

How Active is Your Sex Life: → Very.

How Did You Loose Your Virginity: → To an older Gryffindor girl a few years ago.

Ever Impregnated Someone or Been Pregnant → No.

First Love: → He hasn’t been in love yet.

Who Do You Find Attractive → Almost everyone.

Marital Status:  → Single.

Do You Have A Significant Other (if yes, how do you feel about them): → Not really but once again, he would say James.

Personality Classification:

Jung → ENFP - The ENFP personality is a true free spirit. They are often the life of the party, but unlike Explorers, they are less interested in the sheer excitement and pleasure of the moment than they are in enjoying the social and emotional connections they make with others. Charming, independent, energetic and compassionate, the 7% of the population that they comprise can certainly be felt in any crowd.

Enneagram → Type 8 - Eights are self-confident, strong, and assertive. Protective, resourceful, straight-talking, and decisive, but can also be ego-centric and domineering. Eights feel they must control their environment, especially people, sometimes becoming confrontational and intimidating. Eights typically have problems with their tempers and with allowing themselves to be vulnerable. At their Best: self- mastering, they use their strength to improve others’ lives, becoming heroic, magnanimous, and inspiring.

Moral Alignment → True Neutral- A true neutral character does what seems to be a good idea. He doesn’t feel strongly one way or the other when it comes to good vs. evil or law vs. chaos. Most true neutral characters exhibit a lack of conviction or bias rather than a commitment to neutrality. Such a character thinks of good as better than evil after all, he would rather have good neighbors and rulers than evil ones. Still, he’s not personally committed to upholding good in any abstract or universal way. Some true neutral characters, on the other hand, commit themselves philosophically to neutrality. They see good, evil, law, and chaos as prejudices and dangerous extremes. They advocate the middle way of neutrality as the best, most balanced road in the long run.

Four Temperaments → Sanguine - People with sanguine personality type tend to be lively, optimistic, buoyant, and carefree. They love adventure and have a high risk tolerance. Typically, Sanguine people are very poor at tolerating boredom and will seek variety and entertainment. Needless to say, this trait may sometimes negatively affect their romantic relationships. Because this temperament is prone to pleasure-seeking behaviors, many people with sanguine personality are likely to struggle with addictions. Their constant cravings may lead to overeating and weight problems.

Vices → Alcohol, cigarettes, recklessness, self doubt

Virtues → Loyalty, integrity, passion.

Tropes → The Charmer, The Black Sheep, Misery Builds Character, The Casanova, Everybody Smokes, Abusive Parents

Statistics:

Compassion → 6/10

Empathy → 6/10

Creativity → 10/10

Mental Flexibility → 5/10

Passion/Motivation → 9/10 (If it’s something he genuinely cares about)

Intelligence → 10/10

Stamina → 9/10

Physical Strength → 10/10

Battle Skill → 10/10

Initiative → 8/10

Restraint → 4/10

Agility → 8/10

Strategy → 7/10

Teamwork → 9/10  

[lorelaisgilmoresarchive-blog]

- ̗̀ ❝ i solemnly swear i am up to no good: marauders verse !!

           *evil laughter* my dreaaaam has finally come trueeee!! my time to shine has come, and my harry potter knowledge will finally be appreciated? too much? probably but idc i’m excited ya’ll!!, but anyway let’s talk characters, my kids below the cut!!

alice fortescue..* 

full name: alice minerva fortescue

blood status: pure-blood 

house & year : gryffindor ;; 7th year

wand: 10 ½ in. applewood wand with a dragon heartstring core ; unyielding

patronus: dolphin ;; the witch or wizard who casts this patronus is known to be adventurous, playful, and carefree ; incredibly unique individuals, quite often social and loved by most. inquisitive and full of life they understand the importance of not taking themselves too seriously.

boggart: spiders, she absolutely loathes them one of her worst fears is to end up in a place surrounded by them. ( she’s had dreams where she is covered in them and that’s driven her to have panic attacks. )

extra curriculars: chaser for the gryffindor quidditch team ;; dueling club, care of magical creatures club and astronomy club.

future aspirations: auror for the ministry of magic & member of the order of the phoenix

sunshine personified, miss alice is literally always putting a positive spin on everything. little witch looks for the best in everyone and would befriend a scorpion if people let her. however that’s the trick when it comes to alice, she may be soft and gooey on the outside but she’s a rock on the inside. underestimating her is probably the last thing anyone should ever do. she lives in diagon alley above florean fortescue’s which is the family business. her dad is the willy wonka of ice-cream ( u know eccentric genius type lmao. ) she has 3 older brothers, all part of the order and her mom is a healer at st.mungos. excluded from the sacred 28 bc they unconventional and v. vocal about their support for muggles and muggle borns. in fact alice loves muggle fairy-tales and she tried making a book club at hogwarts but she forgot when the meetings were lmao. ( i could go on i’ve played her so many times and i adore her so pls )

andromeda black... *

full name: andromeda black

blood status: pure-blood

wand: 10 3/4 inch hawthorn wand with a unicorn hair core, unbending. 

house & year : slytherin ;; 6th year

patronus: owl ;; symbolizes a strong aura of wisdom, and individuals with it shine intellectually. They are not very social people, but they tend to be very admired for the impression their blatant knowledge of the world. Others tend to be comfortable going to these persons for advice, because they know they are trustworthy.

boggart: her sisters forgetting who she is, aka seeing a boggart version of bella or cissy who refuse to acknowledge her or ask her who she is will send her into a spiral. 

extra curriculars: 6th year prefect for slytherin house, slug club & transfigurations club

future aspirations: healer for st. mungos. wishes to remain neutral in the war to come. 

from the most ancient house of black, andromeda is the 2nd and middle child she has an older sister and a younger one. her sisters are her entire life, bella and cissy are her world so literally don’t breathe near them she will end you. tends to be an observer more than she is someone who carries out conversations. very much one of those ‘ one word ‘ sort of people, unless she’s with someone she trusts. she appears rigid and can intimidate those who don’t know her. however once you get past her tough exterior she is incredibly kind. respectful of everyone, and very much a believer of treat me the way you want to be treated. now while she isn’t exactly a fan of muggles or muggleborns she isn’t against them? ( tbh someone pick up ted we can plot stuffs. ) like she’s not okay with the cruelty that people of her status show them but she is also bound by tradition. she is very loyal to her family, respects her parents and most importantly wishes to make them proud so it’s like a constant struggle for her? because a lady should be demure and un-opinionated and those are things andromeda black won’t ever be.

james potter...*

full name: james charlus potter

blood status: pure-blood

wand: 11" with a dragon heart string core, mahogany, pliable

house & year : gryffindor ;; 7th year

patronus: stag ;; the witch or wizard who casts this patronus is known to be noble and brave. strong temperament, came come across as intimidating in more than several instances. quick to defend those he cares about, a protector of formidable sorts. 

boggart: the deaths of the people he cares about in particular it would be his parents, sirius, remus, peter and while he’ll never admit it... lily.

extra curriculars: head boy and quidditch captain for the gryffindor team he is a chaser. part of the dueling club and transfigurations club. turned down slughorns invitation for the slug club bc he’s not a git.

future aspirations: in a perfect world he’d be a quidditch player, but they are at war so auror it is. has joined the member of the phoenix.

adored from the moment he was conceived, his parents are of the older generation and they struggled to have children so james is very much a miracle baby. that’s why he’s so spoiled, literally anything he could ever want he’s had. so he’s been the golden boy since birth practically... so why would hogwarts be different? he’s the epitome of ‘ cool ‘ along with his best friends the marauders, sirius, remus and peter. he is an unregistered animagus and can turn into a stag ( the same as his patronus ) a hot head, he will literally throw a punch and then remember he owns a wand it’s a problem. cares little to nothing about purity and will fight anyone who deems it important. arrogant, but very noble and he can inspire loyalty in more ways than one. but also he’s an idiot show off, as much as he’s a ‘ genius ‘ when it comes to classes he don’t know women... aka he doesn’t understand evans... he tryin tho lmao.

alecto carrow...*

full name: alecto carrow

blood status: pure-blood

wand: 11 inch, blacktorn wand with a dragon heart string core, unyielding 

house & year : ravenclaw ;; 7th year

patronus: she can’t produce one, a patronus is light magic aka not stuff she believes in.

boggart: the death of her twin brother.

extra curriculars: dueling & slug club

future aspirations: hit witch and hopes to find her spot within voldemort’s rank as a death eater.

cruel, vindictive but smart. incredibly smart, she has a thirst for knowledge hint as to why she was sorted into ravenclaw house. ( bc not all death eaters were slytherins damn it ) independent and fierce, you’ve heard of an ‘ ice queen ‘ that’s alecto, always in control... emotions are for the weak minded. except where her brother is concerned, her twin brother is an extension of herself so as a true narcissist she has to love him because he is a part of her. she doesn’t have the best reputation around the castle and would probably kill your pet and hang it up in the great hall for everyone to see... simply because you spoke to her and she considers you unworthy. no conscience or apathy just pride and a lot of zeal for the pure blood supremacy cause. she is attracted to the dark arts, to pain and misery and she isn’t shy about letting anyone know that. 

remus lupin..*

full name: remus john lupin

blood status: half - blood, werewolf.

wand: 10¼ inch cypress, with a unicorn hair core, pliable

house & year : gryffindor ;; 7th year

patronus: wolf ;; The wolf is a bit of a darker and mysterious soul, with the strength of a fighter. A person with this patronus has had a lot happen in their life, and do to that they wear a mask over their emotions. They do, however, have a very big heart that is full of both passion and fire. They have a lot of emotion within them that they are willing to give, but only once they completely trust you.

boggart: the full moon, for v. obvious reasons.

extra curriculars: 7th year prefect, dueling & charms club

future aspirations: outside of joining the order, he doesn’t let himself dream of a job because his kind aren’t hired anywhere... bc you know discrimination. 

he was attacked by fenrir greyback to take some kind of revenge, after his father insulted him. aka he suffers from lycanthrophy. this would have made it impossible for him to come to hogwarts but dumbledore disagreed. so precautions are set in place, the whomping willow, the shrieking shack will get it’s reputation because of remus. ( it’s a secret, so there aren’t many people who know. in fact it’s only james, sirius, peter and lily. )  this is where he was taken to transform once month, and turning is painful especially because he is separated from humans to bite so he’d bite and scratch at himself because of frustration. anyway that didn’t exactly matter much because he has friends, real friends. he didn’t have them until he came to hogwarts and he was terrified that they’d find out the truth... but you know once they did they all decided to become an animagus... and thus begin the adventures of the marauders. remus is a good student, he’s talented and well behaved sort of.... at least he behaves better than james and sirius. dumbledore made him a prefect in his 5th year and they think it’s so he’d exercise some control over his friends. spoiler: he doesn’t. 

[eponymous-rose]

Okay, do you have any advice for someone who's seriously considering grad school and teaching in the future? I'm having a bit of a "how-do-I-know-if-this-is-what-I-want-to-do-for-the-rest-of-my-life" crisis.

Oh gosh, I’ve been thinking about this post for a while, trying to come up with a good answer, and failing that, trying to come up with an honest answer. The best I can do, I think, is to say that in my experience there is no “this-is-what-I-want-to-do-for-the-rest-of-my-life”, or at least if there is, it puts so much pressure on you that it can chase you away from something you love. If you’re fixed on the idea that this is what you’re meant to be doing for the rest of your life, when you inevitably start to hate it a little bit, you’re also kind of going to be hating yourself, because what’s wrong with you if you can’t do this thing that defines you? 

That’s a big problem in grad school, believe it or not, because for all the snarkiness and PhD Comics “this is the worst” attitude that grad students have, from what I’ve seen almost everyone kind of stumbles into it out of a place of (sometimes self-consciously buried) love and ambition, and it’s easy to feel betrayed by yourself when things don’t quite measure up.

So my advice to the question you’re not asking is: life is long. I grew up with a strange perspective because both of my parents had pretty darn full lives in their twenties and early thirties: establishing careers, pursuing hobbies, getting married. But they were both pretty miserable, they both wound up losing their jobs and getting divorced from their then-spouses, and they both rebooted by going back to school for something entirely different in their mid-thirties, which is where they met and fell in love and eventually had a couple of kids. They’re retired, now, living in a little apartment a short drive from the ocean, and despite some rocky times, they’re wildly happy with their decision to reinvent themselves, and with the benefit of perspective they don’t regret having tried and failed in their twenties if it meant setting themselves up for where they are now. 

So I’ve always grown up with the notion that it’s okay to try new things, even if it means fucking up, because even decades of “lost time” aren’t lost if you can stack up and clamber over all that crap to get to the next big thing. It’s not going to be easy to switch, by any means, but life is long and you’ll have enough time for a do-over if you really need it. I’m only harping on this because that crisis is so familiar to me, and because what I’ve found is that it’s vital to learn how to reduce the weight of “this is the rest of my life”, because otherwise that weight will crush you the first time something goes wrong. This is your life now. The future is a big ol’ question mark. That’s okay.

More practically, here are some things that I have found to be helpful traits in graduate school. These are things that can be learned.

Everyone talks on their resume about how they’re a “self-starter” or an “independent learner”. I think part of this needs to be true and part of it needs to be bullshit. You’ve gotta learn to be self-motivated in the way that somebody who does NaNoWriMo is self-motivated: if you really need to, can you sit down and churn something out even when you’re not feeling it? Can you push past a block? There is a bit of hand-holding in graduate school, if you have a good adviser, but in the end nobody is going to be as invested in your future as you are.

This goes into the bullshit part of independent learning: depending on the culture at the institution you attend, graduate students may be competitive or pitted against each other. It is essential to push back against this tendency, because snapping out of that pointless competition leads to some of the fiercest and most protective friendships you’ll ever find. There’s a lot of bullshit in academia, and the worst part is that sometimes it can be a big neon sign flashing “BULLSHIT” and you’ll still squint at it and go, “maybe that sign says ‘EVERYTHING IS GREAT’ and I’m just reading it wrong.” Being able to sit down with people who are capable of pointing at the sign and going “that reads bullshit”, and for whom you can also do a bit of pointing, will make the whole thing so much more manageable. Trying to get through it alone or without helping anyone else is putting yourself at a major disadvantage.

On the topic of bullshit-meters, it’s also very important to take care of your mental health the way you take care of your physical health. If something starts to feel off, most universities offer at least the ability to go in and get it checked out for free. That’s so important.

Do you enjoy what you’d be studying? It’s difficult, but try to consider this question outside of the context of “enough to make it the sole thing you pursue for the rest of your life.” If you like something, if it genuinely gets you excited, it doesn’t have to be the only thing in your life that makes you happy. You can still love your hobbies more. But if you genuinely enjoy what you study, you’re more likely to be able to reject the really tempting and super-cool apathy that’s built into the culture of some graduate institutions.

You’re not gonna love it all the time, and that’s okay. You’re gonna feel guilty about being in a relatively stable situation studying something you love and still not enjoying it, and that’s okay. Graduate school is a long commitment, in a lot of departments, and it’s normal to fall out of love with something for a bit if you’re focused on it for so long. Just like relationships go through patches where they’re less about passion and more about having to buckle down and just do maintenance work for a bit, sometimes your project’s gonna feel lackluster. If you can push through that, if you can do the work even when you’re not feeling it, you can find that love again–or if not that particular kind of love, some harder-edged and sturdier version thereof.

Start training yourself to translate humblebrags (almost always coming from dudes) like “I worked 80 hours this week!” into “I have poor time management skills!” Don’t legitimize the expectation that this job will eat your hobbies and the things you enjoy about life. Sometimes that means setting a hard cutoff time beyond which no work is ever done, even if you feel like you just need one more hour to finish it. Professors get swamped, too, and will often understand if you’re honest and up-front about your limitations. If they don’t appreciate some reasonable level of self-awareness in their students, they’re probably not worth listening to. I have also discovered with the benefit of perspective that it is very, very hard to do something completely unforgivable in graduate school.

Grad school differs strongly from undergrad in that you lose a lot of the instant-validation moments you used to get with things like exams and classes. You might go months or even years without hearing whether what you’re doing is acceptable, much less exceptional. All this means is that sometimes you have to seek out that validation actively. Ask your adviser point-blank what you’re doing well and what you could be doing better–they’ll probably reply with a deer-in-headlights look, but if you keep asking they’ll keep getting better at it. Get friends together and read each other’s papers. Find other avenues for validation in your life–write fic, create fanart, celebrate your victories on an online blogging platform. Go ahead and scratch that itch. You deserve to know when you’re doing well.

There’ll be a transition period where you might have to consider being someone else for a bit. For me, in the first few months in a new place, my rule of thumb is to not say no to any invitation. Someone’s gotta go pick up nails at a hardware store? I’ll ask if they want company. Someone’s got an extra ticket to the volleyball game? Okay, sure, I don’t know from volleyball but we’ll do this. Someone I don’t especially like is having a board game night? Fine, let’s go. Astronomy club filled with freshmen? Awkward, but sure, let’s go just to go. I’m usually pretty darn happy on my own, and doing all that social stuff can be exhausting, but it’s so important to establish some sort of support network early on. 90% of those tentative ties will fall apart on their own, but the last 10% can be absolutely unbreakable.

Cut yourself some slack, is what it boils down to. I’m pretty aware that it takes me about three years to feel like I’m competent at something, so for those first two years and 364 days I’ll use that as a mantra to remind myself that it’s okay to be in the middle of the pack, or even the one sickly pack member who’s lagging behind the rest. Grad school often means surrounding yourself with all the folks who were top of their class in undergrad, so it’s okay to suddenly find yourself bringing up the rear. I had the lowest grade by far in the graduate class taught by my adviser. Now I’m publishing papers on the topic. Find as many ways as possible to be patient and kind with yourself.

This is all as honest as I could make it, because graduate school can be a terrible place if it’s a bad fit. Personal experience will also vary a lot–I can preemptively feel the winces from some of my grad school followers as they read through this. This is my experience, and I cannot emphasize that enough.

But I love it. In practical terms, I learned that I love teaching and research and mentorship, so I now feel confident that pursuing a career in academia makes a whole lot of sense. I’ve had very, very bad times in grad school, but I’m now at the point where some nights I legitimately have trouble falling asleep because I’m so excited about what I’ll be doing the next day. 

I hope that if you go for it you can have a wonderful time with it, and even if you go for it and things go wrong, you can remember that life is long and use this as a way to climb to bigger and better things. 

[sillycynthy]

Distantly related to the Blacks and the Prewetts, The Macmillan name was renown for comprising nine consecutive generations of purebloods. Their family had proudly made their mark on The Pureblood Directory and were considered one of the families in the Sacred twenty-eight. The world around them was only regarded as a game of likeability, social climbing and popularity. Such traits that were passed on and inherited by many of the Macmillans over time and the reason they were prominent members of the society.

For the last four generations, the family had suffered from a serious dry patch of daughters, only sons were conceived and so when Giovanna and Ainsley Macmillan were expecting their third child, you couldn’t blame them to presume it would be another boy. They had decorated the whole nursery blue, purchased only baby boy clothing and picked the perfect name for their newborn son. That, however, all took a shocking turn when their little girl was born, the first daughter of four Macmillan generations and completely adored by her older brothers. Cynthia Giovanna Macmillan took on a massive responsibility of being the first heiress in decades and would do so with elegance and pride.

As most Macmillans were, Cynthia had found herself sorted into Hufflepuff with her older brothers Christian and Bernard. She had treated Hogwarts exactly how her father instructed her to, as an opportunity to secure a good reputation that would then reflect upon herself as a pureblood women. And so she did. Cynthia was a lady through and through, covering Christian’s silly antics seamlessly, achieving O’s in every subject and managing to find the time to take part in multiple extracurricular activities. A member of not only the slug club but also the astronomy, charms and even the knitting club. Any opportunity she saw to meet new people she pounced upon and in return, she was known to be the loveliest girl in the whole of Hufflepuff.

Boys always pined after Cynthia. She’d presented herself as perfect after all, waltzing around the common room in floaty skirts, careless and effortlessly beautiful with her tendrils of golden hair. But there was only one boy that would ever win her heart, Alban Burke, the heir of his bloodline and her best friend from the moment the hat had shouted his destiny. She’d known the Burkes, after all, everyone in their community did, notoriously Slytherin in every way it was essentially as if the sorting hat had made a fatal mistake for him. She’d took pity upon the young boy, sticking to him like glue with her caring ways.

Their friendship bloomed over the years, blossoming into a romance that almost everyone that knew them had seen coming. When Cynthia looked at Alban her eyes lit as if he were her entire universe, of course, that’s because he was. She had fantasised their whole future spent happily together, already planned their perfect wedding in Scotland with the colour palettes and dresses. They’d be living on a lovely estate with five children within the next few years and maybe even their own yacht to sail away in on the weekends. It was all a little too perfect, too happy for anyone in their community to really take seriously.

And perhaps that’s why it all fell apart, or so Cynthia tells herself. She was never born to be happy, it simply wasn’t her fate. After nine long generations of pureblooded Macmillan’s her brothers had both abandoned their status and declared as blood traitors, leaving their younger sister to clean up their mess and restore the family name by herself. The only way of doing that, of course, was to marry a Pureblood man with a name that carried great importance. Her parents saw it fit to do so as quickly as possible, a big wedding would easily sweep over their disgraceful sons.

The very moment Thaddeus Rowle had walked into the dining room, her heart had sunk and he had cast his shadow upon the young woman’s future. Alban was unable to attend his meeting for her hand due to a Quidditch tour that day, and in the meantime, she had been left scraping the barrel to try and find someone, anyone that wouldn’t make her completely miserable. But Thaddeus came with money, offering the Macmillan’s a sum that would benefit their family and increase their worth for generations to come, it was an offer to good to refuse. And so, within five short months, Cynthia Macmillan became a Rowle and the wife to a forty-five-year-old bachelor at only twenty-one.

Thaddeus was everything that she had feared, a monster to his very core who only sought to destroy the proclaimed socialite’s eminence within the community. He’d seek other women in front of her, publicly shaming Cynthia as a wife and doing so with such pleasure. It was worth all the money he had spent, Thaddeus only treated her as a toy. Cynthia had learned quickly that to go against him was only to be rewarded with physical punishment. She’d become a shell of her past self, the outside still perfectly poised and unaltered but on the inside she was empty. All hope had faded from her life, there wasn’t much she cared about anymore. She’d been sold off and then treated as if she were a material good, not a person. Cynthia was nothing but a pity and viewed as broken goods by those around her.

What could have been? If only Alban Burke had fought for her. Such ideas haunted her at night and whispered through her head in the day. If he had cared more about her than he did his now non-existent quidditch career, what would have been of them? It was unbearable for her to imagine, the contrast of such a simple concept had against her real life struck a pain in her chest. One that she’d carefully numbed over the years with ignorance and wine.