#but so many dance spaces are toxic and fuel EDs

[firefirevampire]

Do you all have any childhood dreams that you still wish you would have pursued? Put them in the tags

[lettingthemgo]

Letter o2. To The Best Friend That Got Away

Honestly, I can’t start this with anything else except for, I’m sorry. You tried so hard to be there for me, be everything you thought a best friend should be and I don’t think I really appreciated the way you were there for me. At least, not the way you needed me to appreciate it. I should have given you more space, more freedom, more trust that at the end of the day you’d still be there. There’s a thing my dad said to me that I think about every time my frustration for the ending of this friendship bubbles up in my heart: “There is nothing that anyone can do right now, that you can’t forgive later because you were kids.” We were kids. We were kids who were forced to be adults by everyone around us, including each other. We were kids who thought we were adults before the appropriate time. We were kids, and that’s where my forgiveness and the process of my healing began. But this letter is where it ends.  

I’ve thought about it over and over whether I should ask you to forgive me or if I should contact you at all. Whether it would be worth it to be friends again and try to rebuild our relationship from square one. But I don’t think I should wait for your forgiveness. I should probably first forgive myself. And if you do forgive me, know that I accept it. I truly do. And I’ve taken something from you that I think was the lesson of our friendship: People come into your life for a reason, a season, or a lifetime. I’ve said this multiple times, I’ve said this hundreds of times. Whether it be because I’m comforting another person or myself. And each time I say it I think of you shortly after. This is probably the greatest lesson you could have ever given me. This is your legacy to me. There are more things I’ve learned from you but this is probably the epitome of what our meeting in this lifetime was about. So I won’t be contacting you ever again. I’ll watch you from a distance and relish in your sunlight like I’ve always done. But this time I won’t act as a shadow slinking jealously around wanting you to fall so I could pick you up. No, I’m rooting for you now. I want to see you succeed and become some amazing doctor who achieves the greatness I know you can/will achieve. I’m no longer seeing you as my enemy, but I will be the comrade that you’ve always deserved. But before this, just before I truly let myself embrace this, there are some things I need you to know.

I think about that last discussion that August before our senior year. Later that evening I took a page out of Hazel Grace’s book (the main character from The Fault in Our Stars if you don’t remember) and I sat around watching America’s Next Top Model while sulking about my life. I was in so much pain after that conversation, and I both hated you and myself for what had occurred. So much so that I was blinded by that hatred when you tried to mend our broken friendship. It took me forever to realize that you honestly were trying those few times. But I think you’ll understand and forgive me for not being receptive. I mean you remember what you said to me, and now that you’ve taken psych classes I’m sure you realized the damage that you did to my mind. I can’t remember the entire conversation, but I do remember several parts and the rough timeline of the call:

1. I had been feeling for some time that you were angry with me, you didn’t seem like you wanted me around that much and I had no real idea why. I wanted to understand so I asked in a few different instances. But this call was the ultimate one, because I finally asked the question: did you even want to be my friend anymore. 2. So I called, and you picked up and I told you how I felt. You told me how you felt and I asked why hadn’t you told me this early on. I don’t really remember your reason and I don’t want to imprint what my thoughts 4 years later are. 4 years is a long ass time to try and remember details that aren’t as vivid as these next ones. 3. I don’t remember how this came up but I remember distinctly that you didn’t want to be around me much anymore because I was always depressed. Me: I have depression, that’s why I’m always depressed You: Yea but so did everyone else, and it’s been 7 years and they all got over it and you didn’t 4. Those words have stuck with me, it made me feel like a broken mess for a very long time. You don’t tell someone with depression that; but you were a kid with no true understanding of how those words would have affected me. Sometimes I wonder if you thought I was making it up. I’m not sure why you said that. I just know it hurt like hell. 5. I think at this point I was sharing how I thought of you, and I know for a fact that after these words flew from my mouth I regretted it so much. But you hurt me just before and I think I was just trying to make you feel the pain I felt. But I said I try to think of you as a monster sometimes so I that I can feel better when I’m next to you. 6. At that point, you told me you no longer wanted to be best friends with someone who thought that of you. And I really don’t blame you.

The conversation ended shortly after that, but that is a memory I will always distinctly remember. But there were a lot of reasons why I felt the way I did and why I was so angry with you at that time and why I was so fucking jealous that sometimes I wish I didn’t even know you. That should have been a red flag right there that maybe I should keep my distance but I had no idea how to control my emotions effectively and respond appropriately at that point. Maybe you felt this. I mean hell there were so many times where you should have left our friendship but you stuck it through. I don’t know how you put up with me. If I had a friend like I was back then to you right now, I would drop them in a heartbeat, because I was an asshole. I was so awful. Even after you ended our friendship I was awful and hell, I thought I was justified 99% of the time. Freshman year of college I literally texted you to tell you that you made me feel like killing myself! Talk about a manipulative asshole, goddamn! I remember that one time our freshman or sophomore year of high school that I had the nerve to ask you to stop writing poetry because that was “my” thing, as if you couldn’t create art. Like, what the hell was that ever about? Why was I so conceited and jealous and hateful? I’ll tell you another thing, kind of a secret that I’ve never really told anyone, I didn’t even think your poetry or your art was that good when we were kids. I was so annoyed all the time when people complimented you, because I thought—nah I knew, I was better than you. And the awards, accolades and compliments that I got proved that to me. That was the only field that I knew I was better than you in, and I wanted it to stay that way. 

I wanted to make sure I that I had something over you because you were literally better than me in everything else. You were 3rd in our class while I was 10th. You began getting scholarships in our junior year and I didn’t. You were SGA president and I was just the community engagement chair. You had so many friends who loved the fuck out of you and always wanted to be around you and I just didn’t. I had your friends, they weren’t “mine.” My friends went to another school and turned out to be people who didn’t do much with their lives. All your friends though? They were over the moon amazing, most still are. You did ballet and you loved it, I was forced to play softball and I hated it. I always wanted to do ballet or dance or something awesome and I never did. You always did what you wanted and if you realized you didn’t like it you didn’t let yourself waste energy with it if you didn’t have to. You had a car and I didn’t. You were allowed to explore your sexuality and quite honestly, I wasn’t. You had a healthy relationship with your first partner and I had a toxic codependent relationship with my partner at the time. People loved you, people adored you, your grades were high, your determination was astounding. Fuck, this sounds extremely awful, but I was even jealous that your ED was as bad as it was for a while and in my mind I didn’t think I was bad enough. Of course I later realized that you had anorexia and I had a totally different ED so that’s why it didn’t look the same.

And you know what’s really really weird? This all manifested in me looking up to you. You were a role model for me, I aspired to be you. But it was fueled by jealousy and hate. I think that’s why I clung so tightly to my partner and the other close friends who I made on my own even though they were so freaking toxic. I finally had people who looked up to me, who wanted to be me, who were jealous of me, who adored me like everyone adored you. 

Ha, when I really think about all of this, fuck I realize how messed up I was. How much pain I felt and how I allowed that to seep deeply into a truly pure and amazing friendship with someone as awesome as you. Sure, you had your flaws and you sometimes would let me see them. But I always looked past that. Surprisingly I didn’t cling to them like I did to your talents and gifts. Again, I was fueled by hate and jealousy of them. So, I guess not that surprising.

Anyway, if you do ever read this, I need you to know that I’m not telling you all this to make you feel guilty or to rethink all the good times in our friendship. Our good times were genuine, I swear to you. I’m never realized my anger until now; until I finally realized why I held onto it for so long. And I held onto it because I wanted to desperately be you. I desperately wanted to be you because you were allowed to be yourself and for the most part you tried to truly be yourself. Every day, you didn’t take life for granted. I wanted that. I wanted to be authentically me, but I didn’t even know who I was because I was so busy trying to be everything everyone wanted me to be. And if I wasn’t doing that then I was trying to be you. Our good times were amazing, the watermelon with the freaking kool-aid sugar on top was a top-notch idea. Playing in the rain just for the hell of it was such a highlight. Sleep overs and ice cream parties. The fact that you planned my entire 16th birthday. All the Halloweens we celebrated together. Just generally hanging out whenever we could. It was awesome. It was amazing. It was a true friendship. So please if you ever read this, don’t think that our good times are lesser now that you also understand the pain and anger and hate I felt at the same time. I swear on my life it was all genuine. I know it was. 

But I write all those things because I want you to know that in some way I understand why we drifted now. And I want you to know that I’m beyond that now, I’m better than that now. I want you to know that I see you now, and I’m so sorry it took me so long to see you. I’m sorry I didn’t see how much you loved me when you loved me. I’m sorry I would choose my partner over you more than I should have. I’m sorry, I’m so sorry. I know this is almost 12 years too late. But better late than never right? Also, in a way I’m writing this as a penance. The world has access to this truth now. They may not know our intimate personal details but they will see who the writer—me—was and how I treated you. This is my punishment, and maybe I deserve something a little more severe but for now this will have to do.

As of now I’m trying to make up for everything by being authentically me. By showing others the love that I should have shown you. It will take a lifetime to make up for this, but it’s a step towards the right direction. I know that I will meet you again in another life time. I don’t think we were meant to separate as soon as we did, but it happened. And this was a lesson that I needed to learn—it’s a lesson that I haven’t stopped learning. 

In finishing, I’m realizing there are so many more things I could say to you. But I don’t think they really need saying. I just want you to know, for any of the bad things I felt you had done (that were genuinely bad) and any of the bad things you felt that you had done I forgive you. We were kids trying to be adults. You did your best. And, honestly, so did I. Our best isn’t always enough, but that doesn’t mean we can’t keep trying. Goodbye my best friend that got away. Or at least, until next time. Keep doing awesome shit, I’m rooting for you.

Thanks for the lessons, The Best Friend You Should Have Had

[athome-businessideas]

15 Franchise Business Ideas to Consider for 2017

Copyright: wavebreakmediamicro / 123RF Stock Photo

Home-Based Business Start-Ups

Many frustrated job-seekers and workers, whose hours-wages have been cut back; retirees; recent graduates, and those seeking new career directions are considering purchasing franchise opportunities like those featured in regular issues of Home Business® Magazine.

Franchise Home-Based Businesses – Visit the Home Business Mag EXPO

They like the security of investing in established, turn-key businesses with proven operating systems, brand name recognition, and company support. Some franchise opportunities can be operated, part-time, allowing franchisees (the buyers) to earn money at regular jobs while they learn their franchises’ operations.

Here are 15 home-based franchise-business opportunity ideas for you to consider:

Home-Based Franchise Business Ideas

1. Auto-Services (Mobile)

Strapped for cash caused by the slow economy, many people are working odd hours or multiple jobs and need their cars and trucks to get to work. By performing vehicle services such as washing and detailing; glass tinting; or small repairs at their places of work or at their homes, your clients will not have to have their vehicles in a service garage all day. Success Tips: Survey your area for the mobile auto-service opportunity with the most profit potential. Then research one or more of the opportunities that interest you; and ones that will utilize any auto-repair experience or training you have had. Market your automotive services to local employers.

Suggested Resource:

*Mobile Auto Detailing Company by Tim Roncevich, Steven Primm.

2. Business Coach

Entrepreneurs, executives, and professionals hire business coaches to evaluate their own personal performances and how these actions have impacted their work and business outcomes. Coaches have clients set goals to improve their clients’ proficiency in specific skills and other areas to increase their businesses’ profits.

Success Tips: Professional coaches exhibit patience and work on a collaborative relationship, a type of partnership with their clients. Many business coaches find success specializing in the industry-professions in which they are familiar. Market your services to business owners’ organizations.

Suggested Resources:

*International Coaching Association.

*Co-Active Coaching, 2nd ed.: New Skills for Coaching People Toward Success in Work and Life by Laura Whitworth.

3. Children’s Instruction-Tutoring

With school districts cutting back on staff and extracurricular activities, parents and organizations hire instructors to tutor children, teens, and those with special needs in subject areas in which their pupils need extra help. Parents also often enroll their children in recreational and hobby courses for enrichment purposes.

Success Tips: Enjoying helping children learn and having a thorough background, including certification or licensing in the areas you will teach, are important criteria to have. Stay current with educational trends and any necessary courses you may be required to have to teach.

Suggested Resources:

*National Tutoring Association.

*Tutoring as a Successful Business – An Expert Tutor Shows You How by Eileen Kaplan Shapiro.

4. Commercial Cleaning

Business owners, organizations, schools, and property managers continue to hire quality professionals to clean and maintain their buildings and facilities. Concerned with cleaning chemicals that are toxic to humans and the environment, many clients prefer to contract professionals who use “green” cleaning methods and solutions.

Success Tips: Cleaning business opportunities range from general cleaning to specialized clean-up of carpets, blinds, ceilings, windows, and other designated areas. Stay current with the latest machines and methods to stay ahead of your competition. Encourage referrals from satisfied clients.

Suggested Resources:

*Cleaning Consultant Services, Inc. – information, publications.

*Cleaning Up for a Living, 2nd ed. by Don Aslett, Mark Browning.

5. Computer (IT) Consultant

At the speed that technology is changing, business owners, independent professionals, and individuals often lack the time or expertise to set up and/or maintain their computer systems. Computer consultants install, repair, and train their clients’ and business owners’ employees how to operate their systems and software. They also analyze and recommend the best networks for their business’ operations or individuals’ goals.

Success Tips: You should have the education and training in the latest systems and programs in order to provide your clients with the advice and solutions they need to operate. Clients will appreciate prompt, fast, and problem-solving service to get them back to working on their projects. Choose a computer business opportunity that works in the technological areas you prefer and/or have had previous experience or training.

Suggested Resource:

*Building the IT Consulting Practice by Rick Freedman.

6. Disaster Restoration & Cleaning

No matter where you live, freak weather occurrences, floods, fires, burst plumbing pipes, and other unexpected events and natural disasters often result in damaged homes and buildings. In this business you are a specialist in cleaning and removing the debris, mold, and other residue from the buildings and spaces adversely affected by these happenings.

Success Tips: Previous work experience will help you to better assess the damage to your clients’ structures and provide the best clean-up solutions. Network with governmental disaster agencies and officials; and property insurance companies for referrals and to be compliant with any regulated disposal methods. Provide prompt and quality service so your clients’ personal and business lives can quickly return to normal.

Suggested Resources:

*Center for Disease Control and Prevention – article(s) about safe clean-up procedures: http://ift.tt/2lUzRCR.

*U.S. Small Business Administration’s resources for disaster clean-up and precautions: http://ift.tt/2lpajk5.

7. Energy Saving Consulting

Rising fuel costs, the trend to “go green,” and changing environmental impact laws are creating the need for specialists to review business and property owners’ current energy usage. They help their clients reduce operating costs and explore alternative “greener” energy sources.

Success Tips: It is helpful to have prior education and/or training in this field. Network with local, state, and federal energy officials for information on current programs that can benefit your clients. Stay current with the latest “green” energy technology news.

Suggested Resources:

*Office of Energy Efficiency & Renewable Energy: http://ift.tt/2iVVcKR – Energy information portal.

*AltenergyMag – http://ift.tt/1r3fXQE – electronic magazine featuring news, information on alternative energy.

8. Financial Planning

With a financial crisis in many sectors of our economy, people and business owners are looking for better methods to manage their money and stay solvent. Financial counselors assist clients in finding ways to reduce their expenditures, invest wisely, plan for retirement, and reach other financial goals.

Success Tips: Experts in finance have the necessary certification, licensing, and the education to offer their services. Many will specialize in helping entrepreneurs, the elderly, and other niche groups. Networking with financial institutions, accounts, lawyers, and other agencies will help you receive business referrals. You should be patient, non-judgmental, and offer practical solutions in helping your clients plan their financial futures.

Suggested Resources:

*Financial Planning Association (FPA)- www.fpanet.org/; certification, articles.

*Getting Started as a Financial Planner by Jeffrey H. Rattiner.

9. Food Specialties

The popularity of cable television food channels has increased the demand for different types of prepared foods and beverages to be delivered or prepared on-site for meals or parties. With less time to shop, people also like to send both the traditional and the latest food and drink specialties as gifts or for special occasions and celebrations.

Success Tips: Attend franchise and business opportunity shows; as well as food specialty trade shows to get an idea what food trends are growing in popularity. Conduct market research in your area to see what foods potential customers are interested in. Join a local business owners’ organization to find opportunities to highlight your company and get referrals for additional work.

Suggested Resources:

*Specialty Food Association.

*How to Start and Operate a Meal Delivery Service by Rob Spina.

10. Fitness Programs

With estimates that one-third of American adults and children are obese, health professionals are urging people to improve their diets and exercise more. You can invest in a fitness business that offers dance, fun-fitness programs, and others activities that people will enjoy participating in while getting in shape. Personal trainers and weight counselors are also in demand to help people plan healthy regimens that fit their goals and schedules.

Success Tips: You should not only be a healthy example, yourself, but also have the qualifications and training to safely direct these programs and to help clients reach their fitness goals. Make sure your clients have their doctors’ permission to undertake any exercise programs. Network with other professionals such as dieticians and/or nutritionists for referrals and/or joint collaborations on certain projects.

Suggested Resources:

*American Council on Exercise

*Publications.USA.gov.

11. Handyman (Woman) Services

Many older individuals, busy couples, landlords, and real estate agents have a long list of small (and sometimes large) fix-it jobs in their houses or buildings that they prefer to have an expert handy-person do. Installing new light fixtures, fixing windows and screens, and replacing faucets are just samplings of the many jobs you will be asked to do in this much-needed service.

Success Tips: Though not required, being licensed in electrical and plumbing skills will help qualify you as an expert. Enroll in local technical school courses if you need to hone your repair-installation skills. Prompt response to jobs and quality work will help build a solid network of satisfied and repeat customers who will be happy to promote your business with many referrals.

Suggested Resources:

*How to Start a Home-Based Handyman Business… by Terry Meany.

*New Complete Do-It-Yourself Manual, Reader’s Digest.

12. Internet & E-commerce Consulting

Business owners, of both brick and mortar establishments and those with e-commerce sites; self-employed professionals; and creative types all seek advice as to the best methods to market themselves and their web sites. Many Internet consultants specialize in advising those in specific industries or professions so they will stand out from their competitors.

Success Tips: Write related articles in business and trade journals; produce a blog and e-newsletter; exhibit conduct workshops at trade shows and business conferences; and speak to targeted groups to promote your expertise. Staying current with the latest methods of Internet marketing including the use of social networks, will broaden your appeal to potential clients.

Suggested Resources:

*How to Be a Successful Internet Consultant by Jessica Keyes, AMACON, 2002.

*Marketing Plan Handbook (5th Edition) by Marian Burk Wood.

13. Outdoor Advertising

Supply business owners with eye-catching outdoor signs, billboards, vehicle wraps (advertising), and other unique outdoor advertising methods to capture the attention of potential customers. Consider opportunities that use the newer DOOH (digital out-of-home) advertising screens and devices. Offer promotional packages to fit clients’ budgets.

Success Tips: Keep up with the latest outdoor advertising trends. Having a sales and marketing background will help you analyze what type of promotional signage will best fit your customers’ advertising goals. Networking with business ownership organizations will increase your potential customer referrals.

Suggested Resources:

*How to Start a Billboard Advertising Business.

*Outdoor Advertising Association of America.

14. Pet Services (Mobile)

Pet owners seek a variety of pet-related services. These include on-site grooming, exercising, training, sitting, and transportation. You can also sell an endless variety of pet products on the side or full-time.

Success Tips: Many pet service providers use their previous experience and/or training to specialize in the types of animals and/or specific breeds of animals with which they work. They may also teach pet owners how to properly care for and train their pets.

Suggested Resources:

*International Boarding and Pet Services Association.

*National Association of Professional Pet Sitters.

15. Senior Services (In-Home, Non-Medical and Personal Care)

Enable seniors to live independently by assisting them in basic, non-medical services. Your duties may involve shopping, running errands, driving them to appointments, and doing repairs and other basic chores for those who cannot drive or are somewhat limited in their abilities to do essential daily tasks.

Success Tips: Prior experience and training with older populations are important so you understand their needs. You and any staff should demonstrate respect, patience, and enjoyment in working with seniors. Good communication with family members and social service agencies is also necessary to ensure your clients’ well-being.

Suggested Resources:

*In-Home Care for Senior Citizens: A Bedside Companion by Shirley M. Baker-Davis.

*Senior Errand Service.

Unfortunately, many franchise-business opportunity scams also exist, so thoroughly investigate any franchise you are considering. Hire a franchise attorney to review your contract and the company’s Franchise Disclosure Document (FDD) (the company’s financial history) that franchisors (the owners) must give you. The FTC Franchise Rule also says you can get a list of a company’s franchisees if you wish to discuss their experiences with a particular franchise.

Franchises and business opportunities** are not for everyone. Some are expensive, and you (the franchisee) must generally follow company procedures. But a franchise may offer faster money-making potential and less risk than an independent startup. The profit-making potential is there. With your due diligence and hard work, franchise success can happen for you, too.

For important information, visit the sites of Federal Trade Commission, International Franchise Association, and American Association of Franchisees and Dealers. Check out business opportunites at http://ift.tt/2k6vlmq.

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