#but some how i got piled with other stuff so oops

[house-of-daena]

yall won't get mad if i don't post any writing for a while right /j

[dirtytransmasc]

u got any hc’s for miles for earth 42 and miles from 1610 interactions? they’re besties to me fr fr

(first few are sorta theories for btsv, the rest are general hc's for their dynamic. these got kinda angsty, oops)

they definitely fight a few times before realizing they can be on the same side of things, Miles 42 being more the aggressor, but Miles 1610 wants to get even each time, cause he's a teenage boy, sue him. its in their moments of weakness that they start to see that they don't have to be enemies. they're also fair fighters, to some point, and fight generally clean, which definalty plays into their bond later on. there was always some level of mutual trust and respect.

its when they reluctantly team up and they get beaten to absolute pulps, and are forced to see each other as not only equals, but kids, both forced into lives they didn't want, or at least positions, they didn't want, that they start to bond.

its the act of picking each other up and dusting each other off that the bond cements, when Miles 1610 sees the kid in Miles 42, the kid that's tired and scared and not entirely there after living life hidden away in the back of his head that makes him extend his trust and his friendship. for Miles 42, its seeing Miles 1610 be so kind and good and trusting and strong, despite being a kid and being scared and tired and hurting, that makes him want to accept Miles' offer of friendship, and in a way, safety.

once they're friends, they're the definition of terror twins, like, generally they're sweethearts when not in combat, but they are capable of so much mischief, oml. and in combat, together, they're down right terrifying.

I totally think they would see each other like twins too, so they have such a brotherly dynamic in my mind. both are technically only children, so at first they're just kinda in this blissful awe of how nice it feels to not be alone in the world, to know they always have a shoulder to lean on, someone to protect them.

definitely both physically affectionate, and both of them have that AuDHD in them, so they spend a lot of their free time justlying in a pile somewhere.

Miles 42 does Miles 1610's hair and helps him with Spanish, in return Miles 1610 helps Miles 42 reconnect with his artistic side that had been buried while he was the prowler.

Miles 1610 sneaks him into HQ all the time, to the point that Miguel just gives the kid his own watch for the sake of his sanity.

it takes a while for Miles 42 to be down with intimacy of any kind, even just stuff like small talk and brushing shoulders, cause he feels like any attempts at connection from anyone is just them looking for a weak spot to use against him. Miles 1610 definitely helped him feel safe by just blabbering on and on about just about anything, making it abundantly clear that he trusted him (42) to keep his 'secrets' safe, and therefore he could trust Miles 1610 to do the same. once he's ok with small talk, they start tackling physical touch, slowly but surely. Miles 1610 is always supportive of him, always trying to understand better so he can be helpful, trying to make his 'twin' feel safe.

Miles 1610 forces Miles 42 to join his friend group, like he is so insistent that Miles 42 just caves. he doesn't regret it.

Miles 1610 is the more emotional protector, making sure Miles 42 feels safe and secure in a give situation and helping him get away and ground when he doesn't. Miles 42 is a physical protector, and he will end anyone who harms a hair on Miles 1610's head.

very competitive, in everything, absolutely everything.

steal from each other all the time, and almost never return the items.

Miles 1610 will indulge in childish things as if they're the norm for kids his age, so that way Miles 42 doesn't feel so ashamed of reliving the parts of childhood he lost.

they're both afraid of thunder and will huddle up under the covers during a storm. (once Miles 1610 has kindled a bond between his mom and especially his dad and Miles 42, they totally climb into their parent's bed, cause they're just big little kids and they want their parents when the thunder starts shaking the house ok? leave them be)

vigilante Miles 42, who tries to be someone Miles 1610 would be proud of, even in his fucked up dimension and with his already fucked up reputation.

they kinda forget they're basically the same person, so they're all ways surprised when the other likes the same thing or has the same habit, etc.

1610; orange cat. 42; black cat. vibes; amazing

it should be so obvious, but they do the good old twin switch every once and a while, sometimes just for shits and giggles to see how long it takes others to notice.

they guilt trip people when they take too long to notice. they don't actually care, they just think its funny.

they make each other more confident. Miles 1610 is less of a people pleaser and does more for himself. Miles 42 feels secure in being selfless and nice and having his own feelings on things.

for some reason, Miles 42 is really good with babies, and Miles 1610 is subpar at best (he's better with little kids, not babies) and they always babysit mayday together.

they're with each other more often than not. especially after migeul just gives up on trying to keep him off of missions, cause it takes more time and effort to do so, especially when he ultimately fails every time.

Miles 42 blackmailed Miguel into apologizing to Miles 1610, while he was already in the process of apologizing... he just wasn't doing enough in Miles's mind, he needed a little push, a little reminder of what would happen to him if he chickened out.

thats all I've got for now, hope you enjoy my brain worms.

[danikamariewrites]

Cassian x adhd!reader

A/n: I wanted to see where my thoughts on Cass with this concept would take me plus I realized I haven’t written anything for him yet oops. I also kinda got carried away with this one. Should I finish the trio and do one for Rhys (and possibly one for Eris👀)? My requests are still open!

Warnings: some angst and mentions of mental health struggles

Cassian is really good at reading people and telling when there’s something wrong (like in ACOMAF when he was first training Feyre he just let her punch it out and she finally talked)

You would mask it for the first few months of your relationship but he picked up on your ADHD when you first met

He knew you would come to him when you were ready to talk about it

And when you did talk to him about your ADHD he was so understanding. Cass wants to learn everything about you, including how your brain works

If he had questions you couldn’t answer he’d do his own research in the library or ask Madja a million questions about how to help you

Cassian could always tell when you zoned out or when you were in your own little world. When trying to get your attention he was always gentle about it

Whenever you were sitting still for too long doing work and needed a break he will always stop what he’s doing to be with you, if you want him to be. He would go on walks with you, let you pace around and talk at him, mini dance parties, or even take you to spar for a bit.

There were times when you thought your ADHD had its perks because sweet, wholesome moments just between you and Cassian would come from it

For example after he was coming home from Windhaven you guys were going to go away for the weekend to the cabin in the mountains and you had to find your duffel bag

You swore it was in the walk-in closet you and Cass shared so you started digging through the piles and shelves looking for the bag

But of course you get sidetracked, you found Cassians favorite hoodie that had been missing (it wasn’t actually missing you wore it while he was gone once and then hid it you just forgot where it was)

You put the hoodie on and then other piles of forgotten stuff grabs your attention and you start digging through everything in the closet making a mess

There’s a skirt Feyre gave you with the tag still on that you put on over your leggings, you put things in piles, and then you found a box of jewelry Cassian never wears. One thing in it is a bracelet with a broken clasp so you sit down on the floor between the piles of stuff and attempt to fix it

You didn’t hear the front door open or Cassian calling your name. When you finally noticed him he was standing in the doorway laughing, “Hey baby, find your bag?” Your cheeks got hot as he made his way into the closet sitting with you

“Find anything interesting?” “Yeah a few things. That pile over there is pretty cool.” He finds your collection of headbands and puts one on

After an hour you fixed the clasp and your both wearing random shit you found. You look at each other and laugh at how ridiculous you look. Sighing your shoulders slump, “I still need to find my bag and pack. Sorry Cass I dragged you into my crazy distraction.” Cassian looks at you with a questioning smile, “you don’t need to be sorry baby. Plus I found your bag,” he pulls the duffel from behind him, “like 20 minutes after I got here. I just thought we were having fun.”

You jump into his lap wrapping your arms around his neck tightly “I love you Cass.” He kisses your forehead and then all the way down to your nose, “I love you too baby.” Then plants a kiss on your mouth

But there are also the bad/frustrating moments

One time you were cleaning up around the house and misplaced an important document Cassian needed to give to Rhys but you couldn’t remember where it was or if you put in his office

You were trying to retrace your steps and could tell Cassian was getting frustrated. You were apologizing profusely, you didn’t realize the document was part of the stuff you were organizing

He snaps at you. You knew in the back of your mind he was mad about the paper and not at you. But you had a hard time separating that especially when regulating your emotions at the same time

Your eyes started to water and your bottom lip trembled. As soon as he saw your face and the tears fall he instantly regretted yelling.

He rushed over to you, pulling you into a tight hug and cradling your head to his chest swaying you back and forth slowly. “I’m sorry baby I didn’t mean to snap, I’m not mad at you I swear.” You stand like that for a few moments, “I know Cass I just feel like it’s my fault and I can never remember things I’m sorry.”

Cassian pulls back to look at you, “you have nothing to be sorry for. It happens sometimes, we all misplace things. It’ll be fine I promise.”

When you’re fidgeting or having a hard time sitting still he’d hold your hand. Sometimes you would just hold his hand or squeeze and you’d be fine, the weight of his large hand comforting you

Other times you would play with his fingers or trace shapes on his palm. Sometimes you’d even tap at the bright red siphon on the back of his hand, you’d stare at it getting lost in its glow and how beautiful it is

When you get over stimulated at home he takes away whatever is bothering you and rubs up and down your arms, “you ok baby? What can I do to help?” You just lean your forehead against his chest and stay silent, trying to breathe in and out

Once your better you cuddle up to Cassian in bed

If you guys are out with the IC he would take you outside for fresh air and wrap a wing around you to show that you’re safe

If you seem like you’re going to have an anxiety attack he lets you squeeze his hands and he talks you through it, “it’s going to be ok, just take deep breaths baby, in and out.” He breathes with you

When you are ok enough he takes you in his arms to fly you home. He does a lap over the city first so you can enjoy the view and get lost in its beauty

tags: @auggiesolovey @bubybubsters @baybay123455 @msiecrane

[cringefaecompilation]

the most dimension 20-ass moments in critical role so far

most of exu because aimee and robbie have huge d20 player energy, but these moments in particular:

fearne's shitty accent when she was faking being a ship's cook "NANCY! WHERE HAVE YOU BEEN?" "mother." "did you touch the circlet?" "yeah! that's how you hold stuff!" "if you were any gemstone, what would you be?" "i'd be a diamond cause they're hard as i am- WAIT NO NO NO NO" orym eating his own weight in pies dariax making it sound like one of opal's bullies sharted her pants with thaumaturgy

the fearne, orym and dorian intro where dorian goes "fearne, is this ship going to stop?" and she replies "i dunno, i think we're gonna crash :D"

"I NEED MORE CHILDREN!"

everyone miming eating breakfast sandwiches when they can't find bertrand

orym nearly getting bh killed because he said cake sucks to eshteross' face

imogen asking pretty out on a 3 (4) person date to help her friends not get caught, the resulting date and rejection, and all the times it gets brought up again

"maude."

"i was trying to keep a low profile!" "YOU'RE DRESSED AS THE NIGHTMARE KING!"

"HE PROPOSED!"

"what's wrong, daniel?"

everyone piling into an elevator at the same time and liam miming getting his face smashed into the wall

the entire twilight museum bit, but mostly just orym getting blocked from helping the gang three times in a row

"want some candy? wa-wa-want some candy?"

fearne spending her turn keeping watch by breathing a smiley face into ashton's head and then going back to sleep because she forgot they were taking turns

xandis

end episode "oh! right. hondir." start episode back up "I CAN'T BELIEVE YOU FORGOT ME THIS IS SUCH STUPID BULLSHIT!"

the karen culling

the entire first half of ep 33. esp fcg driving the crawler and ashton screaming "YOU ARE TOO OLD TO DRIVE"

"WE DON'T LEAVE ANYONE BEHIND" followed by everyone but ashton falling off the airship

"uh. guys. bones. fast. bones. lots of bones coming this way."

after a solid month of agonizing over laudna being possibly permadead she's brought back with a slap

"oops. i did it again"

fake orgy leading into horse fearne

ashton's offscreen sidequest and him using a 6th(?) level spell slot just to say "okay"

fearne's horrifying nana revealing she's got a juice bar

the goat float

"ALRIGHT, GUYS! WE'RE EATING JERRY!"

"he's OUR problematic beast!"

orym's mom showing everyone his little baby boots

a drag queen calling ashton hot after he barges in and throws trash on the floor for them to make an outfit out of

everyone interrogating an evil sword that clearly only lies and getting more and more pissed off at it as it does

orym talking to his dead family whilst laudna and chet fly overhead shooting bees at each other

feeding shithead to fcg

fearne nearly dying after spooning a pirate, getting him together with a girl that's crushing on him, and them both being so happy that they throw bh a party

"THERE WAS. NO. LIMBO." and orym quietly takes away the limbo vine

the literal shitstorm given to the party by Mi

hotboxing a tree

"TAKE YOUR NINTH LEVEL SPELL AND SHOVE IT UP YOUR ASS" was ic and i stand by it

wok sledding

imogen intimidating a reilora and then BOOKING IT behind a rock to gasp for air

[andhumanslovedstories]

Hello! I love your blog very much. I too am a second degree nurse. I just graduated from an ABSN program and I'm struggling to get my foot in the door anywhere despite good grades + honor society membership + in state license already secured. I live in NYC and the nursing shortage here is CRAZY but for some reason no one wants to talk to me. Would you recommend home health nursing for someone in my situation? I did my preceptorship in the ED and that's 100% where I belong, but the bills are really piling up and I have no prospects. How long did you do home health before you went bedside? Thank you for any advice you have!

(Disclaimer though for all this, I'm across the country from you and have no idea the landscape of nursing jobs in NYC.)

I worked in home health for 18 months. If my goal was to get to the hospital as quick as possible, I didn't need to be there that long. I wasn't in any particular rush to move on. Plenty of people worked less than that and got hired at a hospital, I think something like a year was the average. I know the different between sending out my new grad resume and sending out my home health nurse resume was night and day. As in: literally anyone wanted to interview me.

I'd encourage you to at least apply and see if you can interview. You get to interview the company right back, and that'll let you know the kinds of work they expect from you. There are two main types of home health: the kind where you visit a lot of patients in a day and the kind where you're with one patient for the entire shift. The first kind is doing stuff like dressing changes, medication management, or periodic assessment. The second kind is more like general caregiving with nursing related requirements. I mostly did the second one, and worked night shift. So I fed a patient dinner, I gave them a bath, I got them dressed for bed, then tucked them in and stuck around until morning for their needs in the night. But within that was trach management, seizures, G tubes, medications, central lines, ongoing assessment, all that stuff that got this person nursing hours. I'm not gonna lie--it was often very very boring. I read a lot of books.

(btw west coast disclaimer again, but if you're willing to work nights, you'll get hired more easily. Everyone everywhere in the world doesn't have enough night shift coverage. also, oops! this got long and became an essay on home health!)

For downsides, in home health you can get limited training and orientation before you're alone, responsible for a patient. And then it's all on you. I had some gut-dropping moments early on where I encountered something I didn't know how to handle and didn't know how urgent it was. There's supposed someone you can call at all times, but multiple times when I did call, no one picked up. It can be super stressful and frankly dangerous as an inexperienced nurse. Luckily, many times you have the patient's family as a resource. It's likely they've been doing this years longer than you have. Though it's worst thing in the world when you wake someone up at 3 am because you're unsure and concerned, and then have that person explain in a really supportive tone of voice that these frequent, very brief seizures were probably just hiccups. Hypothetically speaking.

You can get too entwined with the patient and family's lives. It's hard to call out sick because you know no one can cover you. It's easy to cross emotional boundaries. Imagine spending 40 hours a week with someone and their family. They'll occupy a spot in your brain.

And I don't think it's a great place for a new nurse to stay for years and years, just for like professional development reasons. You won't get exposure to a variety of patients (unless you work that other type of home health in which case enjoy seeing eight different patients a day, hope traffic doesn't suck), so it's easy to forget stuff you just learned. I never had to think about transfusion reactions until I started at the hospital and shit now it's relevant all the time. I had to completely relearn how to hang an IV piggyback. Plus, since you work alone, you don't get the chance to see how other nurses work. It's hard to figure out a profession when you practice in complete isolation. It's easy to learn bad habits and have no one ever correct you.

But there's a lot I like about home health. You really do have a perspective on patients and patient care that is unique to home health and long-term care. In the hospital, you don't always get that long-term perspective. If you work with someone for a while, you can track how they progress or decline. Why do some clients stay at home for years and others keep going back to the hospital? What's different about their conditions and cares? You see all the work it can take to keep them steady. That's perspective that easy to lose. It helps you put the patient on a timeline that extends beyond the hospital. If you click with a patient and/or family and work with them for a while, it can be very satisfying working with them because you see so clearly the impact you're having.

Also! I read so many fucking books! I listened to so many podcasts (played so so softly). I knitted and learned sudoku and practiced yoga, looked up vacation spots, put in my grocery orders, and organized my playlists. I also could research and research and research. I had time to look up everything about every condition my patient had, and once I felt more comfortable with those, I moved on to looking up whatever other disease process and patient experience seemed interesting. I'd make myself a little curriculum and, after my patient was tucked in, and be like "tonight's class is vlogs about having a trach."

There were plenty of shifts where I bustled all fuckin night, and sometimes those shifts seemed to be in one endless hellish row, but often I had a lot of time to myself that I could spend however I wanted, as long as I was still in the room with the patient, able to meaningfully hear and see them, and keeping up with the night routine. I fucked around a lot and got paid for it because the job is to be available when needed, and you're not always needed. (I'm not saying slack off! I'm just saying even colicky babies sleep peacefully now and then.)

Anyway jesus christ that got away from me, but like please know that I was in your exact place, and I know how much it sucks and how crazy it makes you feel because I THOUGHT WE WERE SHORT ON NURSES DON'T ANY OF YOU FUCKERS NEED A NURSE, and know that all the other job hunts after this should and will be easier than this.

[lensman-arms-race]

A collection of my Skibidi fanfics

These links all point to my own website - if you prefer reading on AO3, all pages have links to their versions on AO3 and anywhere else they might get hosted.

Unless indicated otherwise, these are all SFW, barring a few swear words.

Reader helps to perform maintenance on Titan TV and then enjoys a cuddle-pile with the engineers inside the Titan's core chamber. (~3.4k words)

This was the first fic I wrote for this fandom and the first fic I'd written in nearly 20 years, so it's less polished and considerably shorter than what came after it. I still think it's kinda cute! I first posted it to Tumblr and was surprised and delighted by how people said I should put it on AO3.

Reader gets to watch Titan TV's upgrade installation + testing (at some point before the events of episode 67), and hang out with a few TV-units they've not met before. (~7.5k words)

This was the first time I included Polycephaly in a fic (and the TV Matriarch, come to think of it). They were only meant to be a cameo, but oops, a giant sweary TV is super fun to write!

Some fluff/angst/comfort. Sickening. Mostly Reader and robots hugging each other and crying. Also the human acquires a nickname. (~8.9k words)

Possibly borderline not work safe: there's no lewd activity in the fic itself, but the characters talk about explicit stuff that's happened in the past. Maybe don't show this one to your granny or the vicar.

This is the one in which my human character acquires their current name (Phaeton) instead of going by 'human'. Reader/Phaeton catches Feelings about being the last human and needs cuddles. Cygnus (TV unit) has a close encounter with a skibidi and needs cuddles also. (This one was basically @cosmica-galaxy 's fault - she wanted to see angst, so I had a go and was surprised by how satisfying it is to write!) Title came from a Talking Heads lyric; that's why the title is slightly sillier.

Angst o'clock! Reader and your TV-headed friend have an encounter with a skibidi. It does not go well, and both of you have to deal with the consequences. (~10k words)

Continuing the angst theme - I suddenly got the idea for this one and had to hammer it out. You know how it is.

Phaeton and Cygnus have a bad time but of course there's plenty of cuddling to make up for it.

Some big fluff! Reader and Polycephaly hang out as friends and have quite a nice time together. (~6.4k words)

Relatively short one. I just wanted to write something cute with Polycephaly because I've become fond of the foul-mouthed machine! Phaeton and Polycephaly hang out, some skibidis get decked.

We haven't seen what happened to the Brown Coated Cameraman after the events of episode 57. Who, if anyone, rescued them? Turns out it was you, Reader. You're a feral human survivor with no reason to trust the hardware-heads, but you feel compelled to help this one for some reason… (~4.4k words)

Because I wanted closure on what happened to Browncoat!

--

I have written several more fics but they're considerably spicier than the above. If you want to see them, it shouldn't be hard for you to find them.

[nyxronomicon]

ahh ok i got tagged by @consolationblog (like a month ago oops) and @peachsayshi RIP y'all forcing me to look at the ever growing WIP pile......

rules: post the names of all the files in ur wip folder, regardless of how non-descriptive or ridiculous. let people send u an ask with the title that most intrigues them and then post a little snippet of it or tell them something about it! tag as many people as you have wips!

jjk

death painting womb || choso dating sim! featuring a band au and choso's band mates toji and sukuna assassin toji x widow reader || you've just killed your husband. except a sexy assassin just walked in to tell you he's supposed to do the same... roommate toji || sleazy craigslist roommate who gradually manipulates you into getting more physical with him... vampire toji || not really a WIP bc @pearlsxandxpeonies and i started a vampire jjk rp with it but i wouldn't mind posting some of it neighbor!toji || inspired by that day i was raking the yard and i was like "wow this would be great if i was actually getting fucked silly by toji instead" emo!Nanami || best friends to lovers. i wanted to make this multi chapter but i had too many ongoing series (and still do lol) nanami cucking gojo || i was gonna do a whole series bc gojo is such a cuck to me... seven minutes in heaven || just an excuse for Sukuna to get, uh, handsy... (if you know what i mean) CEO!Sukuna || drabble for a sukuna sugar daddy au... stepbrother choso || this is OLD and not usually my thing but damn if choso was my stepbrother... hatefucking || okay i admit it. i wrote hatefucking with gojo. i wanna punch his face with his cock inside me ok. i wanna make him bleed and cum at the same time. don't look at me rejected excerpt || OKAY I ADMIT IT the hatefucking got a little too soft so i put the gooey romance shit in a separate doc. in this house we punch gojo mid-coitus. don't look at me getting his head ripped off? || literally 28 words i will never finish this. but yeah gojo again salvation || ongoing series but i'll answer stuff about the upcoming parts! parent trap || ongoing series but i'll answer stuff about the upcoming parts!

genshin/hsr

embarassing how many of these i have when i have literally posted like two genshin fics lmao divorced detective wrio || just a gratuitous amount of a messy divorced man sigh. meant to be multi chapter mara struck || uhh yeah fueled by the idea that what if blade goes into heat from being mara struck... werewolf, werewolf take 2 || multiple attempts at werewolf!wriothesley smut for monsterfucktober god || scara x reader based on that scene with haypasia in that greenhouse. i was self-inserting so hard, don't lie you did it too itto || bbg rescues you from some guys and has to bring you home with him. you know. for healing purposes... alhaitham || classic sex pollen going feral on each other lol dumb bitch juice || alhaitham begrudgingly agreed to tutor you, his friend's little sister, but he actually just spends the whole time objectifying you (until...) dottore bondage || dottore kidnaps you and reprograms your memories with the akasha yakuza au || i just felt an urge to make an au that feels like the yakuza games. i don't think i had a pairing in mind i was just having fun lol captured || you're a stellaron hunter and jing yuan captures you. such a shame for such a pretty girl to be stuck in jail on new year's

others

bnha / stockholm syndrome || overhaul kidnaps you and learns you have a unique quirk; complete adoration and obedience to whoever drinks your breast milk (please don't look at me WHY is this so embarrassing to summarize lmao) csm / kishibe || incubus!Kishibe for monsterfucktober! somno and infidelity you know the drill

no pressure but ppl i'd like to peer into their cursed wip folder (if u didn't do it yet lol) @solomons-poison @pearlsxandxpeonies (i know u have one now hehe) @suget @vampyrsm

[prize-pig-collection]

Only the Necessities

an inspirational story

Check out this post if you haven’t already. A recipe for a shake that’s about 3 gallons and almost 32,000 calories, and an update from the author who says she swears by it, and it’s a big part of what’s helped her blow up to 540 pounds as of about a year ago.

So that author @juliebelly and I were talking earlier. It turns out she’s 575 pounds now, and desperate to be 600 or more 😉

So desperate, in fact, that she wants one of these “little” shakes right now! But she said she needed a little motivation to get out of bed and to the store. Understandable at her size. Between that, and a little quirk of the recipe, that set off a little story in my head…

———

I can’t imagine what the scene at the grocery store is gonna look like…

Either you’ll roll up to the checkout on a scooter that’s struggling to handle your weight (it’s only meant for 500 lbs, after all!), or you’ll be sweaty and red-faced from all the waddling around the aisles you had to do. Hopefully you didn’t bump into anything in the aisles, because bending over to pick things up just isn’t your thing… someone who works there is gonna have to deal with that.

So either way, there you’ll be with your gallon of ice cream, gallon of milk, 3/4 gallon of cream, 4 cans of condensed milk, box of brownie mix, and 5 bottles of chocolate syrup.

One look at you, and the stuff on the conveyor belt, and despite how impossible it sounds, the cashier will just know, somehow, that’s all destined to get down your throat as soon as humanly possible.

I’m sure all the other times you go grocery shopping, and pile up junk food at the register, maybe they tell themselves, “Oh she’s having a big party…” or “Maybe she’s stocking up for a few months while there’s a sale.”

But I think this random set of ingredients makes clear in their mind: “She’s gonna drink this all together. I bet she somehow gets off on it too. Clearly this isn’t the first time she’s done this, I mean look at her…”

Maybe they’ll even tease you a little bit. Call over a manager and ask, “Hey there’s a deal over in Dairy, right, where if you buy a gallon of milk, a gallon of ice cream, and a gallon of cream, you get some money off, or something? I was just wondering if I should tell this piggy… I mean person, oops!… that they should go grab another quart of heavy cream, to make it a full gallon?”

And it turns out they’re right, an extra quart would trigger the deal. It’s meant more for their commercial customers—restaurants, bakeries, and so on—but they’ll allow it for you. Nothing says a regular person can’t get the deal, just no one ever tried. Huh, that’s weird, isn’t it? Oh well, someone’s gotta be the first.

A closer look at you, though, and it’s obvious that to send you all the way back to the dairy aisle would be too much of a struggle. And there’s people in line behind you. You’re gonna need a little help if you’re gonna make this quick.

So the announcement goes over the loudspeaker: “Can an associate in Dairy bring over 1 quart of heavy cream to register 6? We’ve got someone here who wants the gallon of cream, gallon of ice cream, gallon of milk deal. The one that’s usually for business accounts? Just a regular person this time, but my manager says it’s OK!”

Then they realize: they didn’t actually ask you if you wanted the other quart of cream. But the way you’re eyeing the stuff already on the belt, trying not to drool, tells them they made the right call.

Good luck having the patience to get all the way home and firing up the blender before you start chugging away…

[ayoharuko]

Genshin Impact Bf Headcanons

Hello hello! Sorry for the long wait on the sumeru boys....school exams happened and got busy on hw, Also couldn’t open genshin for at least a week or 2 soo sorry....

Another thing was I waited for cyno to come out before I started writing/thinking the headcanons. Since I didn’t know what he was like and when he came out and I got him....I forgot that I had to do Alhaitham and he hasn’t even come out yet-

Soo I just analyzed his personality and stuff and I kinda got it!

Now sorry for the rant and lets get into it! Hope u guys enjoy!

Bonus at the end! ;3

REMINDER: These characters don’t belong to me, they belong to hoyoverse, This is also just a work of fiction, Also I apologize if there are some spelling mistakes or grammar errors, Also I apologize if some headcanons are either occ or cringe.

(Sumeru Boys)

~Nature Boy~ (Tighnari)

~Tsundere Boyfriend~

- Yes...all I can think of him is being a tsundere, Now I have him...I pulled for him and I've seen his voice lines...and I must say they are...interesting, So in my book his a tsundere!

- He would be the doting and mature one in the relationship, Like his gonna lecture you about forest things. Ok he’s just being like that cause he doesn't want you to accidentally get hurt and he’s worried for you. Although he won't admit that-

- VERY overprotective, especially if you’re a forest ranger like him. The forest is full of dangerous things and he doesn't want you to get hurt. So when he said don’t go to the forest alone, listen to him :3

- He might be a tsundere but everyone clearly knows that he loves you even if he only shows you affection in private, Sometimes he’ll show affection in pubic mostly just hand-holding and little pecks here and there.

- You’re the only who has full access in touching his ears and tail, You’re very lucky as some people would say, he doesn't really mind and just lets you touch them. He doesn't understand the appeal tho, But their just soo soft!

- Mostly you guys would just have dates in the forest, By that I mean having picnics, relaxing and leaning against a tree and maybe even making-out hehehe who knows~?

- He LOVES cuddling with you, just wrapping his tail around you...holding you close to him..its just perfect! Expect him to give you back rubs and whisper stuff about his day to you, Soo cute!

- He’s only a bit possessive..nah he’s really possessive lol, Its just his natural instincts as a fox and you being his mate soo don't be surprise if he suddenly pulls you away from a person your talking to and just makes out with behind a tree...he just loves his mate a lot ;3

Nicknames: My mate, sweetheart, babe, love and my flower

Voice line about you: “Y/n? They’re my mate of course and also another forest ranger like me, Hm..traveler why are you suddenly interested in y/n? Is there something you aren't telling me?”

When he talks to you: “My flower...can you please tell me...why you're hurt? You just fell..huh.. you tried to take a picture of a rishboland tiger again didn't you?”

~General Mahamantra~ (Cyno)

~Protective Boyfriend~

- With his job as a mahamantra he’s bound to have enemies that want to get him back at him, so obviously he’s gonna be the overprotective.

- But he’s not that overprotective. Because of his job all he does is check up on you because sometimes he’s just too busy.

- Speaking of work...you both don't get to see each other a lot which sucks for the both of you..but he makes up for it! On your free days aka day offs(if u both have one oop) But on those days he brings you to the desert at the afternoon to stay over at his place

- You both would watch the sunset, cuddle under the moonlight while his whispering sweet nothings to you while giving you kisses and you both inside a pile of blankets :3, The desert is just cold at night he wants to keep his love all warm after all

- Half the time he calls you nicknames in his native language :3

- Sometimes people would wonder how you managed to woo the scary general mahamantra’s heart, Well...he fell for your smile!

- Even if he has to make dumb and punny jokes just to make you laugh because to him your laugh and smile are the most brightest thing in the whole of teyat

- Candace loves you, She often tells you to take care of Cyno as well as Tighnari and Nilou, they just care for their friend that's all~

- Back to his overprotectiveness, If you got hurt because of someone and try to hide it...don't brother his already hunting that poor person down

- Gets jealous when you get too close to a person *cough*Alhaitham*cough*, He just pulls you away from said person and pulls you to an alleyway and makes-out with you ;3

- You are the brightest star in the night, His only love, So never leave him...alright? :3

Nicknames: Ya albi(My heart), Ya hayati(My life) and Habib albi(Love of my heart)

Voice line about you: “Traveler...can you..watch over y/n while I go do something quick? H-huh? Just do it I'll be quick.”

When he talks to you: “Ya albi. What? Oh...its..what does it mean? Like I'd tell you heh, Sorry Habib albi I'm not telling you~”

~Nahida’s Babysitter~ (Alhaitham)

~Experimenting Boyfriend~

- We all can agree that Alhaitham probably never had a crush nor have experienced love before, Thus. He is the experimenting type!

- He would test somethings with you to see if he likes doing that with you or hates it, Lets just say there are a few things he doesn't wanna do hahaha....

- He doesn't like doing pda in pubic. The only pda you get is a kiss on the hand and Hand-holding, Thats it

- He would sometimes let you come with him when he works, Which obviously you don't mind because Alhaitham sometimes get too busy that he barely pays attention to you...

- Your dates are mostly spent on The House of Daena aka the library, He likes being around the smell of books and being around you! Although he won't admit that hehehe, I feel like he’ll read some books that are...romantic just to test some stuff with you since whenever you do something...affectionate he doesn't know how to respond lol

- He gets jealous of his roommate, Kaveh. He knows Kaveh won't dare do anything but...still! He thinks its idiotic he feels like this and you just giggle at him~

- Not many people know of your relationship only some but what some know is that the member of the Haravatat, Has a rather settle crush on you

- Alhaitham isn't aware how madly inlove he is with you, But somehow some people around him know. The way he looks at you softly, speaks with you with more emotion in his voice and sneaks glances at you. They know it.

- Similar to Albedo he will ask you if you want to cuddle and you guys do! Expect you’re trying out positions which ended with you getting mad at him lol

- You kissed him first, I know. His composure broke for a sec and then turns away and he had that cute side blush on his face, You giggled and just hugged him, His so cute~

- No matter how much he might research about this thing called ‘love’ he knows your the only who can teach and guild him...and although he doesn't wanna admit it..he loves you~

Nicknames: Darling, my angel, and sweetheart(Sometimes in pubic but mostly in private)

Voice line about you: “Y/n? Hm..their someone really dedicated to learn about new things I admire that about them.”

When he talks to you: “Darling why don't we go to the library later? I have a new book I would like to show you. What’s in it for you? Hm...sweetheart we can cuddle later if you want. *tiny blush*”

~Pretty Architect~ (Kaveh)

~Sweet Boyfriend~

- HE MIGHT HAVE JUST COME OUT BUT I KNOW HE’S THE SWEET TYPE HE LITERALLY GIVES ME TAMAKI VIBES FROM OURAN HOST CLUB I’M SORRY T-T

- *Ahem* sorry. He would be soo sweet to you! He loves to spoil you!(Even if his in debt) He would buy you clothes that he thinks suit you, He’d kiss and cuddle you this man is head over heels inlove with you hehehe

- His often very busy so you guys actually don't see each for weeks or even a whole month! It’s really sad for the both you so whenever you both are together you guys make the most of it :3

- He loves taking you out on dinner dates(with you paying sometimes), Mainly because he likes seeing you dressed up and such

- I see him liking to slow dance with you..I feel like his a classy man that's why lol but yea dancing under the bright moon and stars after your dinner

- Since his a architect...I kinda see him as a bit of a perfectionist, Like he would want everything in your house perfect which might piss you off sometimes lol but don't worry let him do him :)

- Lets you touch his hair if you let him cuddle and kiss you in return 

- His fashion sense is amazing. He would be the one picking your outfits and he sometimes buys you these designer clothes, He has the money don't worry-

- His love for you is like a flower....he cares for you like your a soft petal and he loves you like your the only person that matters~

Nicknames: Darling, Love, Sweetheart, Sweetie, Babe, Beautiful, My petal and  My flower

Voice line about you: “Ah! You know y/n!? Oh uhm sorry...how are they? Are they doing fine? I’m glad to hear that...i..miss them very much *Gentle smile*”

When he talks to you: “Are you ready to go darling? You look beautiful my flower..I love you a lot my petal”

DONE!!

I’m really sorry if this took way too long, School has been pretty shitty to me rn :(

I wanna apologize if the arabic translations at cyno’s part! If I did do the wrong translations pls tell me and I'll correct it! :)

Also sorry if there are grammar or spelling errors!

I had fun writing these boys and was simping while writing I hope you guys were simping and had your hearts go doki doki :3

Reblogs and feedback is appreciated~

My request/ask box is open soo feel free to request or ask questions :3

See you guys on my next post~!

[chirpsythismorning]

This whole “OOPS we forgot Will’s birthday” fiasco has led casual fans to conveniently refusing to read the subtext for Byler.

Like they can just write off all of it because I guess nothing means anything anymore now that the Duffer’s have admitted to forgetting something so easy to remember.

But what if that was the intention? Like we know the Duffer’s have this tendency to make Byler scenes readable from many different lens’. We see this in the way, that when we have a solid argument supporting endgame Byler, anti’s manage to come up with a long list of other possibilities, and I think the Duffer’s intend it that way.

They want the doubt of the ‘will they won’t they’, to last for as long as they can.

But then this also got me thinking about how I was convinced that them forgetting Will’s birthday was a lie. And how them jumping in right away to come up with this big elaborate story about how they’re going to retcon it, could have been a way for them to steer fans away from easily figuring where the story is going in s5.

Because plenty of us have seen evidence that there is footage that wasn’t used for s4, that is likely going to be used for s5. With Noah at the Rink-O-Mania location with his outfit he wore all of Vol 1-2, or that shot of him in his room looking out the window, or the actor for Lonnie attending the s4 table reading, or Noah wearing a harness???

These are things that could very well involve this concept of Will or maybe even Mike and El, being forced to readdress that day, which was in fact Will’s birthday, through some sort of vision from Vecna.

I know no one believes it’s possible that everyone forgot Will’s birthday within the story, or like why wouldn’t Will himself come out and admit it to remind people instead of suffering in silence?. But if Vol. 2 taught us anything, it’s that Will is the most selfless son of a bitch on the planet, and he would no doubt refrain from telling anyone if they all forgot.

This leads me to believe s5 will explore this conflict in the first two episodes, which are supposed to be set directly after the events of Vol. 2.

They’ve set up this situation, where Will is feeling as low as he can possibly feel, to the point where them forgetting his birthday is nothing compared to everything else going on, but it definitely adds to the pain he’s feeling. And they’ve also set up for everyone, Mike specifically to slowly become aware of all of these things that they forgot or glossed over.

Like we’ve been discussing how it’s inevitable that Mike is going to find out about Will’s feelings, but what about that in combination with him finding out he forgot Will’s birthday?

There’s going to be so many things piling up as amo to not only make Will’s suffering so blatant and heartbreaking, but for Mike to realize and be on the verge of a mental breakdown…

This is going to wreck Mike. And I’m convinced that they probably did have the intention to put this stuff in s4, but either ran out of time, or decided last minute they wanted Byler to be more subtle before going all in, either from Netflix themselves advising them to save it so they don’t lose viewers, or because they themselves knew this was the best decision. (Remember when 4x09 was said to be 2 and a half hours, but got cut to like 2 hours and 19 minutes a week before it premiered…?)

Why else does the s5 plot give us like 2 episodes worth of the s4 conflict continuing, only to have a time jump early mid season?? Like it’s clear that Mike’s realization is going to happen during this time and they’re saving it for when the audience only has one more round of tuning in.

Also, what I’m sort of scared of is what causes the time jump around 5x03 in the first place.

I’ve seen so many theories that Will’s costume in s1 was similar to Marty Mcfly’s, and how this season we see a similar costume with the plaid and long sleeve under, but without the vest.

Along with Will’s FUNKO POP touching his watch, we were talking about how there was this possibility that he could somehow travel back in time back to that day he went missing or he might sacrifice himself and change the course of the future by changing the past somehow, maybe by never being found?

We know the day he went missing is the same day that the upside down is stuck in. So time is important and it also has to do with Will most likely.

I know time travel is something a lot of fans don’t want for valid reasons, but I can’t think of anything else that would cause such a random time jump after they just had us stick with the Vol. 2 plot line for two episodes?

Unless maybe Will’s powers are addressed (if he even has them) and he somehow sacrifices himself to the past aka the upside down to save everyone.

This could also cause some conflict and tension if Mike just discovers Will’s feelings and the audience becomes abundantly clear that Mike returns those feelings, only to separate them and force us to end up right where we started with S1.

Although I hate the concept of Mike and Will being separated all season, it doesn’t necessarily have to be all season even, but I think this approach would create an undeniable appeal for everyone watching.

Did you miss Mike Wheeler from s1?? Well he’s back and he’s more himself than ever trying to get his best friend and now LOVE back.

Personally I love angst as long as it leads to a happy ending, and with how a lot of the cast have been talking about the ending of ST being beautiful and wonderful for YEARS and with the Duffer’s just admitting recently that they already have the last 30 minutes of the series finale well planned out… makes me think that all this pain and uncertainty is going to be worth it..

[evilwriter37]

Ao3 Wrapped Reader Edition

Questions from this post.

Reading has been so difficult for me over the past few years. This year, I seem to have really broken down the wall I had surrounding it, so let's celebrate! Ao3 Wrapped, here I come!

Do you know how many works your read this year?

I do not. It was more than I read last year, I’m pretty sure.

Longest work you read this year?

Just a Kid by @howtowhumpyourhiccup. I need to catch up on it, actually. I’m so impressed by this story, honestly. I love it.

Shortest work you read this year (not including art published on ao3)?

It was one of @howtowhumpyourhiccup’s AI-Less Whumptober stories! All really great stuff. 

Do you have any works you read that are between you and your web browser?

Nope. Shameless enjoyer of all things dark and smutty. No such thing as guilty pleasure, especially when it comes to reading.

Did anything you read make you cry?

I know I left a comment about crying on someone’s fic, but for the life of me I can’t remember which.

Wait.

I got it. look what you made me do. I distinctly remember that one making me cry.

What's your absolute favorite works you read this year?

I honestly can’t choose! Anything by @lilliths-httyd-blog, @howtowhumpyourhiccup, @thedragon-and-hisboy, @fictionalnormalcy, and @ashleybenlovereally roped me in! I also had the pleasure of helping @butterfly-siege edit their Hijack fic! Also, how can I forget my sister, @lifblogs?

Did you read through any authors entire works?

I think I read everything by @thedragon-and-hisboy.

Pairing you read the most for?

Viggo/Hiccup

Favorite rare pair you read works for this year?

Viggo/Astrid!

Largest fandom you read for?

Star Wars

Smallest fandom you read for?

This one I reside in: How to Train Your Dragon.

Did you as a reader receive any works as gifts?

Yes, I received quite a few! Still have to read all of them though. Oops.

What trope do you think you read the most of?

Whump.

Favorite AU you read this year?

@howtowhumpyourhiccup’s apocalypse AUs are always my favorite.

Favorite canon concept you read this year?

Honestly, reading about Hiccup’s problems and struggles as an amputee is something I always love. Fandom brushes past it quite a bit sometimes, but that was a huge thing that happened to him, and there’s no way it wouldn’t still cause him pain.

Were you comments coherent or mostly screaming?

Healthy mix of both.

Did you leave any comments that had to be in more than one part?

No.

How many works did you bookmark this year?

9. Most of them are currently in my to read pile.

Did you read any works published before this year?

I don’t think so, no.

Did you download any works?

Yes! I downloaded some of my favorite authors’ works! One included a Teen Wolf fic that was so good. and the universe is forgetting you. This one really stands out to me. Also, one of @howtowhumpyourhiccup’s works that really dealt with Hiccup’s chronic pain got downloaded because it was so accurate to my experience as someone with chronic pain. Also downloaded a number of @lilliths-httyd-blog's fics.

WIP's or completed works?

Category you read the most of?

M/M

What time of day do you read the most during?

Night time!

Where do you read the most?

In bed

Do you read on your phone or on your computer?

Either my phone or my ipad. Never on my laptop. It doesn’t seem comfortable enough.

Did you do any beta reading for anyone?

That I did! Some for free, so like, light editing, and then intensive paid editing.

Do you listen to anything while reading?

Usually, no. I just want to focus on the story.

Did any line/passage stick with you after you read it?

So many that I can’t even begin to choose.

Do you have any works you think are required reading for (fandom)?

Not really, honestly. Read what you like! Avoid what you don’t! That sort of thing.

Biggest surprise for you as a reader this year?

I read a lot more than I expected for a lot more fandoms than I expected. I also surprised myself the other night by reading a fic for a fandom I’m not even in. I’ve never done that before, but I was so intrigued by the character (Astarion from Baldur’s Gate 3) and I knew the writer, so yeah, I read it. It was That Sweet Man by @thetrapperstrap.

[alo-piss-trancy]

Btw even if I don't check in here as often as I used to, I really do appreciate all of you who stick with this blog anyways c': Especially since I barely post anything 'kinky' myself anymore. So this is mostly just a gaming/media rant and personal blog now oops

In some ways I'm definitely better off than I was a few years ago, but I've also been dealing with a lot of chaos in my life and household and it doesn't look like it's gonna get fixed very soon. Mix of financial, physical health of me and family I've been heavily assisting, house things in desperate need of repair...

On top of that I've been starting to realize I might actually have developed some form of Agoraphobia from all that time I was housebound before... and other stuff, but I think that was probably the main contributor. I'm still looking into it but with how a lot of the other things I've tried to cope haven't helped, meds don't seem to touch it much, and it seems to be getting worse, it's looking more and more likely than I'd like to admit. Which sucks bc it's also going to be hard af to keep up with working to treat it with Exposure or smth if I'm buried in all the above stuff/have limited transport/places to even go. It's really freaking hard when I do rarely go out and the anxiety/illness makes it so much worse. There've been times I've had to give up and go back early after like, an hour bc I was vomiting/crippled with pain/on the verge of fainting... and that's been happening more often. Like 1 in every 3 times, and I may only get out 3 times a month at the worst points.

Idk. I'm trying. I'm keeping up with the bare minimum rn and that's all I can really say lol

Also the only problem that's actually relevant to kink blog: my drive is still at 0 or even the negatives bc I can't get my medication sorted out bc my appointments got pushed back AGAIN ☠️ So yeah. That's why there has been no writing or hc posts and will not probably be for a WHILE. On God, it's about as appealing to me as eating dry cardboard 😔 Trying to write or draw anything fun is like pulling teeth and if I won't enjoy the end result then I'm not gonna bother RIP. When I get that sorted out maybe I can finally touch my poor WIP pile again 😭

Uh yeah so. That's why I've been so absent for like... forever. I do miss checking in here but I also get in my own head sometimes about posting when I'm not 'providing' anything this blog was intended for. Which I realise is dumb bc it's MY blog and if I want to rant about video games only for like a year straight then I'm allowed to. But brains are Fun like that 🥲

For what it's worth I'm not in like, a fullblown mental crisis so please don't worry about that! I'm not in any immediate danger or smth! I do have some other hobbies I've been keeping up with and socialising in other spaces. And I've been reading. So I promise I'm not in a complete isolated depression pit 💛 Life could definitely be better and I def have some rough days, but I have been trying to take some baby steps to either fix things or keep myself sane at least lol

Idk I just felt like I should explain why I've been mostly gone for ages off and on. I do lurk here sometimes to peek at things even if I don't have the energy to show myself. But I do really appreciate anyone who sends asks or comments on my ao3 or just reads my ramblings lol 💛 Even when I can't respond immediately I still treasure the gesture and it makes me happy to see some of the same names around in my notifs/dash c': So thank you~

[cryptid-killjoy]

Funkytown Valentine's Day

It was mid day and there was still no sign of Willem. It wasn't like everyone reported their every second's whereabout's to one another, but it was starting to seem off even for the pirate to just go missing without so much of a text or even a word to at least Nelly. She usually had a hint to his whereabouts.

It wasn't like anyone was worried or anything. Nelly just didn't like it when he went off adventuring without her, so the jealousies were starting to rise as the day went along.

She knew there was some knew dresses for some of the attic dolls and a new set of eyes with a carefully drawn purple heart on one side of each to give a little anime effect for V-day for his eye changing life size gal. He figured she can never have too many pair. He had a set of Betty Boop cards for Hansel since she suddenly was trending again. It seemed everyone was choosing nostalgia and going back to their roots for gifts this year for a little old school back to the beginning feel. He'd gotten Figaro some cheesy stuff from a Dollar Store. All the good stuff. He loaded up a basket of any old V-day candy and little cheap toys he pillaged and fit into a basket. He had tons of those school age Valentines kids give each other. He was going to pass them out around all of Funkytown to every single doll so not a one would feel left out. However, he got side tracked. This was all in a pile in his room ready to be given out. That's what started to worry Nelly even more as the day went on.

Where was he? Surely he didn't end up ditching them for that fairy from Pixie Hollow? He wouldn't? Would he?

Then suddenly there he was. Dr. Frankenstein was being led in by Door Clown and he was helping Willem in. Yes, helping as if he was having trouble walking. What in the world?

"I'm sorry guys." Willem would begin. "I don't know how I got talked into doing this today."

"I do." Victor answered. "I propositioned you."

"Oh my." Nelly's eyes went big. "I don't want the details."

Zero came following in next from behind, "Um, I do."

Willem looked mortified, "NO! That isn't what he meant. That's not what it sounded like. He means he proposed a deal. A deal for free. I got my surgery for free if I agreed to let him have a few minor other fae hybrid samples."

Nelly's face looked mortified this time. "Samples? Ew."

Willem's voice went shrill and louder, "THAT isn't what I meant either. Just... oh my god. I got it free if I did it today. I got it done either way. Sorry guys. But, I'm sitting here with ice on my nuts for the rest of the day. Smalls! Smalls. I don't mean to ruin any plans you had for today but could you please? Please just get me some ice?"

Victor helped him down onto the couch and sat his after care instructions on the table next to him.

"Thank you for your donation." Dr. Frankenstein looked way too pleased with himself and Zero wasn't sure what to think. He was like, "Uh, we're just gonna... uh go now. Leave you to your after care."

"Thanks Zero." Then Willem remembered his pile of school cards and tiny gifts upstairs. "Nelly, fly up and get Zero his card before he leaves. Smalls You may have to help me play mailman today. I didn't plan on this. I got sucked in. Oops."

[cxttlefishcxller]

OC Questions Tag!

Thank you once again to @residentdormouse for reminding me that my blog can and probably should be for more than just me throwing things I like into a mismatched pile like Labyrinth's Trash Lady >.>

Anyways, since I'm attempting to crack my way through several at least two fics, I'll do two OCs just for funzies. XD

(Rules: answer the questions and tag some people, all that fun stuff)

Piper Danielle Crain (The Stand)

5 words to physically describe your OC (do you have a drawing? even better!)

Cautious. Giving. Optimistic. Loyal. Witty.

Piper more or less contains multitudes, and those multitudes are Very Anxious All The Time. But she's got a quick mind and will lay her heart and her efforts down for anyone that asks her to, if she calls them a friend. I haven't really had a faceclaim for my characters in a long time, and no one really fits her as well as I'd like, but I have this adorable art my friend @jaiesondurantkross drew, and I also have moodboards I made!

Who inspired your OC? (can be your mum to a very famous fungi)

Honestly a lot of things! Pipes started out as a Supernatural OC that I borrowed for this one-off Stand fic I started as a silly springboard-project off of a friend's fic, and she just.......got a life of her own. And a plot. And a few AUs. I might have a problem. |D;;; But I put a lot of myself into her -- she holds a lot of my insecurities and a lot of my shortfalls, but she has much more determination and gumption and sheer "fuck you" energy.

She's also got some vibes that align with one of my favorite characters in anything ever, Shadow Moon from Neil Gaiman's "American Gods". They both have their lives torn away from their grasp before being thrown wAY over their heads into a battle much bigger and much broader than they realize. And in response they just. Keep going. Sure they'll buck and dig their heels and bitch about their lot, but they keep moving all the same because doing anything else just isn't an option in their minds. I like that about them.

Give me a song to define your OC (I will listen to it to enter in your WIP mood!)

I'll forever hear Inkpot Gods by The Amazing Devil as Piper's song. It's the thing that inspired the entire second act of her story and gave me the biggest revelation about her character. But David Bowie's Life On Mars resonates deeply with her, and is one of her favorite songs. (She also has a playlist right over here, jussayin)

If I met your OC on the street how would they greet me?

A brief smile and small wave, probably. She's not the greatest with starting conversations, but if you rope her in, she gets comfortable pretty easy. Just show her some candidness and get a bit silly and she'll open up in no time at all. (Not unlike that "oop you showed me affection, now you'll never get rid of me" thing going around tiktok forever ago)

Can your OC be your best friend? Why?

I'd think so! She's got a lot of me in her, and her biggest passions are built around some of my own interests. Though we might grate on each other real hard if our neurodivergencies decides to collide. jfkdl;safd

1 adjective and 1 noun to describe your OC

Determined. Blanket.

Percy Stone / Aurella Reyne (Game of Thrones)

5 words to physically describe your OC (do you have a drawing? even better!)

Resourseful. Shrewd. Loyal. Proud. Frank.

Percy's nothing if not a survivor. She's a little too roughly-hewn to be much of a politician and she's really bad at simpering or fawning, but she's got a quick mind and a lot of determination to do what she needs to do to stay ahead. Despite this, her heart is her Achilles Heel, and she will put much of her own self-preservation aside for the very, very few people she sees as her friends (mostly Tyrion and Podrick, though Margaery hedges that line later on down the road.)

She also doesn't have a faceclaim (celebrities are all like. Movie-star Gorgeous! All of my girls are a little on the plainer side of pretty) but she's got moodboards as well!

Who inspired your OC? (can be your mum to a very famous fungi)

Honestly I got a lot of her vibes from quite a few period pieces I love -- Reign, Merlin, Tudor-adjacent media, things like that) she's not inspired by any one person in particular, but I just wanted someone who was more or less coded to be in the background as a supporting character, making her way to some position of power through a series of ever-increasing plans and mishaps. Genuinely starting from the bottom and having to learn how to be bigger and bigger, filling roles she never dreamed of in order to survive.

Give me a song to define your OC (I will listen to it to enter in your WIP mood!)

The Rains of Castamere doesn't count probably despite her whole "I'll slip into the archives of a dead House and no one's alive to tell anyone that I was never in the family tree" plan, but this cover in particular always hits me with the heaviest Percy feels jfdk;lsafd If we're going for character-study vibes, though, I've got a soft spot in my heart for Eden Espinosa's Waiting In The Wings. She's got a lot of hope and dreams in her heart, even if it's buried under a heap of cynicism and hard life lessons.

If I met your OC on the street how would they greet me?

Realtalk......she'd probably just do the smile-nod and keep on going. She's definitely the type to not get into conversations with strangers if she could help it, but kindness begets kindness......even if she's a tougher nut to crack.

Can your OC be your best friend? Why?

I'd think she and I could be friends! Not as close as Piper, but if she got comfortable enough to relax, we'd be able to drink tea and talk shit about Westeros' major politicians in no time at all. XD

1 adjective and 1 noun to describe your OC

Driven. Dagger.

No-pressure tagging @jaiesondurantkross and @alabaster-the-crow, if y'all wanna <3

[curiouselleth]

Oh no I got a new fic idea from my 1st age beleriand d&d campaign.

The general idea: The party saves Finrod, and it starts with general Dealing With the Trauma with Finrod.

The party will go to Balar or Sirion after the fall of Gondolin to see Finrod and discover Finrod is missing - he either disappears into thin air, or, for a extra scary almost traumatizing bonus, seemingly drops dead for no reason, one second fine, the next - boom. (Random but I might have him and (child)Elwing share the Nauglimir and become friends and etc because the Nauglimir was Finrods)

What they will figure out is that the valar noticed the changes the party and Finrod made rippling out and think, "oh no ripples bad things aren't going how they are supposed to (how they were written to go.)" so the valar yank Finrod out of Beleriand, either back to Valinor, or in the Finrod-dropping-dead case, into the Halls of Mandos.

The party (who are very attached to Finrod in the first place - hmm I just realized I am really making Finrod go through it, I should spread it around and share the trauma with the other NPC's too-). Get to sail to Valinor to try to rescue him (elwing lets them borrow the nauglimir but they tell no one about that, everyone still thinks it's in Sirion), and because of Changes (TM), they have to try to convince the valar to help out in Beleriand.

Probably spoilers after this (okay definitely but this is pretty far away from even being in the planning stages.)

________________

Whatever the result, I'm going to let this part be very party controlled and I'm not going to railroad them into a certain outcome. I think I'm going to leave the valar's decision unknown to the party because something happens and they want to get Finrod outta there. (Also the whole Finrod situation is not common knowledge, Finarfin doesn't know, in Valinor, only maiar and the valar and the party really know, maybe some of the elves in the halls.)

They will actually get back in late 538 after the third kinslaying because time is bendy around maiar, valar, and their powers so time can pass faster/slower around them then in the rest of the world.

The party walks sails into the aftermath of the third kinslaying (not the immediate aftermath like a week later or something,) encounter a very ticked off Earendil and Elwing panicking a bit about Elrond and Elros being missing still (the party: wheren't those two kids?? how do they have kids) and a Very Tired High King Gil-Galad (who was only 94 at the time, and still technically a child, because elves aren't of age until 100.) Then again if I go the Finrod "dies" route he ends up back in his body and the party gets back ridiculously late.

Finrod is Tired (TM). He is so tired. But he's not about to leave Gil-galad stuck with the kingship because he hasn't gotten a break for longer than Finrod's been alive. (Gil-galad is Finwe - the party saved him and yanked him through time to year 444 but time travel messed with him and de-aged him a lot. Oops.)

Finrod is high king and they still don't know if help is coming from the valar until one day Finarfin shows up!!! Finrod and Finarfin reunion, and Finrod wants to know why Finarfin didn't come to see him when the valar kidnapped him to valinor when he was briefly in valinor. *cue angst and shock* la la la stuff stuff, them leading together in the War of Wrath (I know Tolkien said only the hosts from valinor really fought in that. I don't care they would definitely still be heavily involved.)

I don't know how it will end but it will definitely end very differently because:

Finrod is beloved by everyone

The valar messed with him and did some generally really screwed up things to him

I don't think anyone will stand for that, and it might cause some civilization wide reflection on how the valar has done a lot of Not Great Stuff, even if they had good intentions.

I'm putting this near the top of my wip pile (which only has 3 things. For now.) so maybe when I need a break of Be He Foe or Friend or the Founder (<- working title, it's not sticking around) I'll work on this!

Anyway here's way too much context and me rambling about my d&d campaign under the cut

I've been running a d&d campaign set in first age Beleriand (starting in 455). And I thought a good way to start was they were travelling west into beleriand and encountered Finrod and became friends and etc, possibly with him sending them on missions and quests and such, with this first part of the campaign reaching a climax in the Lay of Leithian.

Problem: the party adores Finrod (who doesn't?) and they're going to try to save his life (when we meet tomorrow). But I've been struggling with just... what the heck to do with Finrod if they manage to save him?

Because he can't stay with the party for two reasons;

he's way to powerful for a level 11 party (let's just say I really failed at making the middle earth and d&d magic systems interact and Finrod is over level 20 via multiclassing and leave it at that 😅).

Trauma (I read a post, but I can't find it 😭, about how the worst thing that could happen to Finrod would be him surviving that, with him surviving but his followers not and etc)

So I've been trying to figure out what to do with him for the past 3 or 4 months, and I finally got it.

The party is going to Hithlim briefly, then Doriath, so obviously he can't go to either of those places - Doriath because then he's too close to the party yet and Hithlim is too close to Angband and the front lines for a extra traumatized Finrod. So he's either going to Gondolin or Balar, (I'll decide based off of how much he needs immediate medical attention and etc.)

So after the whole Finrod situation is wrapped Beren and Luthien will continue on their quest, and the party will either head to Hithlim or Doriath (I try to give the party choices lol.) If they go to Hithlim they'll be escorting Gil-galad who is actually Finwe (party intervention via weird time travel,) and if they go to Doriath they're going to find some kind of darkness or sickness fell upon the kingdom, either after Luthien went after Beren or after they returned to life and left. It depends on which thing they do first.

After Doriath there's a small sideplot with a player character being kidnaped and the avari and such.

There will probably be smaller missions here until the sack or doriath or second kinslaying, the party will play a part I just haven't decided how much yet. After that they are going to head to Gondolin, possibly be there for the fall as well but probably not in the thick of fighting, probably helping with evacuations.

Anyway. After Gondolin its the whole Finrod thing I talked about with the fic idea. I think we're gonna get into the war of wrath eventually but I'm going to need to generate a lot of original plot for the in between stuff and the actual war.

[snailsandpuppy-dogtails]

Here's To Florence Nightingale

Garvez Smut (straight up descriptive) WC: 6,702 (oops) Ao3

Ok. First off, I just have to say a great big thank you to my love @bacchicly I swear you are the only reason this fic has not taken a year...or been shelved completely. Now, with the finished product you may not want that praise, but I think you'll like the ending. :) But for real, thank you so much for everything you always do. Always.

And now on to the story

He’d been sick for two weeks, forced off for most of it. Despite his protests and emphatic insistence that he was fine, Penelope was checking in on him while the team was out of town on a case.

Emily had asked for an in-person update after he trudged through half the first week looking like death warmed over. Penelope had dutifully agreed, she had to keep tabs on all her super heroes, even the ones she liked best to fight with.

Ever the dependable care taker, regardless of her personal views on consuming animals, she was bringing with her what she was assured was the best made-from-scratch chicken soup to be found locally, but felt a bit sheepish in her outfit. The skimpy white dress she donned was all she was able to find on such short notice.

“Make sure you wear a nurse's uniform” JJ had instructed.

“Ha-ha. Very funny.”

Emily quickly followed up, “No, no, Luke mentioned once that it helps.”

“That doesn’t even make any sense. How could it possibly?”

“Oh, you know, the power of suggestion and all that. Very powerful stuff.” Tara chimed in, giving a knowing glance to the other two.

“Seriously?”

“Absolutely” the three assured her in voices very reminiscent of Carlie’s Angels.

So here she was, soup and a family remedy tucked snugly in a doctor’s bag, body tucked snugly in a ridiculous dress, standing outside his door like a fucking candy gram. It wasn’t just a dress though, because she wouldn’t feel like herself if she didn’t really lean in to it. No, Penelope Garcia fluffed her hair and pinned the cap on slightly askew, painted her nails and lips scarlet to match the red cross on the breast of her dress, and through some clever crafting turned a mercury thermometer into a cute mid-century looking necklace.

All to check on Luke.

Fashion was an amor of sorts. Much like the toy tchotchkes on her desk, her outfits were a safeguard. This one however was leaving her feeling exposed figuratively and literally.

Knocking twice, she called out, “Alvez, it’s me,” then tried the door he’d said he’d leave unlocked. She didn’t like the idea of him alone in an open home in his possibly vulnerable (ex-ranger and current agent status be damned, just look at what happened to Elle) state just for her so she’d made sure to get there as fast as she could.

When Penelope got inside she found him sleeping on the couch, peacefully tucked under a brightly colored crotchet throw. She made a mental note to get the story on that particular item later. Closing the door as softly as she could, walking on her toes so as not to make a sound with her heels on the wood entry, she crept quietly into the room. She was planning on waking him up soon anyway, but seeing him so relaxed, she wanted to give him a few minutes with whatever he might be dreaming about.

Penelope set the bag down and walked into the kitchen, rummaging through cupboards to find bowls, spoons, and cups. Reentering the living room found Luke sitting up, squinting at her groggily, blanket now in a loose pile in his lap.

“Oh, you’re awake! Was I too noisy? Sorry, I tried to be quiet, but you know, can’t help dishes clattering, not really anyway.”

Luke took in fluffy blonde curls framing cherry red lips and horn-rimmed glasses, the snug dress gracing thigh, and, of course, calf sculpting heels. A trumped up sex cartoon standing in front of him, the human embodiment of “Helloooo nurse!” standing in his kitchen entry. Was he still dreaming, could she possibly be real? Garcia, like this, in his house? Penelope, who teased and mocked him relentlessly but refused to flirt? Suddenly he was feeling a bit cartoonish too, a bit like a wolf.

Brain signaling he’d probably been staring too long, too hard, he whipped his eyes up to her face, asking in a sleepy, low rumble, ”Do my eyes deceive me? Garcia, what are you doing here?”

Penelope looked at him concerned, quickly setting the collection of dishes on the table. Coming down to her knees next to him she placed the back of her hand on his forehead. “You’re fine? You know that’s what you told me on the phone earlier Luke Alvez, that you’re fine, but you don’t even remember we talked! You’re fine! How sick are you?!”

He tisked and grinned, “I’d never forget talking to you, Chica. I meant like that.” She was close, very close, kneeling and bent in front of him. Buttons straining against the weight of her chest, buttons he could relieve with just a flick. A strong urge to feel her, make sure she was real with his own hands surged through him. Maybe he was sick, best to be sure… He reached out running an index finger along the lapel of her dress.

Not the buttons

Watching the mercury rise in her necklace, he dragged his eyes up to meet hers, “You always make house calls in such professional attire, Nurse Penelope?” It was playful and light, but something else too…

Flustered, but satisfied at finding no fever, her touch evaporated. Standing again, she frowned fighting back the chill crawling just under her skin. “The team put me up to it. They insisted you mentioned that it helps, powers of persuasion and all that, but I couldn’t find scrubs, so..." She swept her hands out miming the swoop of the skirt as if to say ‘this is what you get’.

Of course they had put her up to it. Payback for the tongue in cheek Florence Nightingale comment.

 He’d always had a thing for nurses. It was base, sure, but a fantasy high on the list of things he’d like to be fulfilled. It was also one he never shared with Lisa, he didn’t want her to feel like he was objectifying or reducing the importance of medical professionals. But now one joke at work and the gall to get sick, and here he was being tortured with it.

“Look, I know it’s a little over the top-“ she began.

“No!” Luke stopped her, calm down sparky, too eager, sound normal “Well, yeah, but you also look…” he eyed her, “This is definitely better than scrubs, and much more you than scrubs... I can say with 100% certainty, if I were still sick, this would help.” He ended with a small, encouraging smile.

Penelope rolled her eyes dismissively, “O-kay, sicky. I have a family remedy from the ‘little known blond-haired Swedish Garcias’,” she teased, smirking, “and what JJ promised,” lips curling in disgust, “is the best home-made chicken soup to be found in both DC and Virginia. Are you hungry? Thirsty? I was just getting stuff from your kitchen when you woke up.”

Luke shifted on the couch sitting up a bit more, “Chica, you brought me food with meat? Even if I wasn’t hungry, what kind of person would I be if I turned down my nurse?”

She brightened, relaxing a little,“I wouldn’t force you, but good, because I bought myself some mouthwatering tortilla soup and I hate eating alone.”

Bent over, fussing with drinks and food, the top button of her dress slipped mercilessly free from its hole, the top of her breasts falling just a little more into view. A button she didn’t bother to fix, he noticed. He was finding his will to not openly gawk quickly diminishing and wondered if he was experiencing temporary insanity from having been ill, or if it was due to this very special occasion of Penelope all but naked and fawning over him. Whatever it was, he knew it was going to be a long afternoon.

——

Penelope put on her favorite feel-better movie since Luke kept saying he didn’t have one. They shared the cheery full-sized throw, settling in.

“Before I’ll take my medicine, Nurse Penelope, you have to tell me what’s in it.” he said, holding the glass of red liquid up to his nose and sniffing.

The way he called her nurse felt obscene, filled with suggestion, that was the something else, but this was Luke, it was just a game. He was playing, so she played along too.

“Just what the Doctor ordered. If you want to get better you’ll drink up.” she insisted tilting his glass a little with her hand.

He laughed pulling it away, “Chica, I am better. I’m fine.” he stressed, then took a sip.

Penelope caught herself watching his tongue dart out to lick the trace of juice from his lips and then down to the bob of his Adam’s apple, her eyes jumping up to meet his.

“At least tell me what the chunks are” he insisted.

She scoffed, “They are not chunks, its finely grated ginger.” eyes again falling to the now cherry red seam, only to jump back up just as quickly, hoping he hadn’t noticed. Stop it stop it stop it!

“MMM” he smirked, nodding “Annnd? What, Pickle juice?”

“You are awful!” the back of her hand flew out to make contact with his chest. “Insulting a family recipe. That drink is delicious and super healthy!”

Luke chuckled,“You know, Penelope, I think I’m the only other person I know who would describe something like that.” Taking a deeper sip, “Really, what is it?”

She huffed, crossing her arms, barely giving a glance now, “You can’t tell anyone.”

His index and middle finger shot up in the air in a kind of salute, “Scout’s honor. I’d never lie to my nurse. Especially one as pretty as you.” His finger playfully flicked the white cap perched on her head, and when her hands shot to hold it he traced the chain of her necklace.

Just a little touch

Her eyes narrowed, but her cheeks burned, “I’m serious! You are sworn to secrecy, Luke Alvez!”

“Your secret’s safe with me.”

Giving him a withering look, she gave in. “It’s cranberry, pomegranate, beet, and lemon juice with honey and fresh ginger” she finished listing, then went on to explain, “My mom would make it for us when anyone got sick.”

Luke was touched by the gesture, sure she was here and that meant something, but it could just mean she was ordered to do it. This, though, sharing a part of her with him, that wasn’t required, opening up wasn’t part of the request from Prentiss.

“And you made it for me?” he asked softly, fingers now playing with the hem of her sleeve.

“Well, you looked like you were knocking on death’s door when Emily sent you home…”

Hands retreating to their own space, “That’s really sweet, Chica.” No, that really wasn’t required. 


Feeling suddenly squirmy and uncomfortable at the sincere tone and gaze, she got up to find something to fidget with, tossing over her shoulder, “A good nurse does what she can for her patient” before busying herself with clearing away the bowls and finding other tasks to buy some time.

She liked Luke, he really was a good guy, he was sweet, and yeah, he was aggravatingly beautiful. But he was off limits. Which is why she needed to distract herself. He was nice, far too nice, the kind of nice she could easily let herself get mixed up in if given the opportunity. So this was best, this was good, she’d remove herself and clean up some stuff and calm down then pop back over to the couch and check in on him, then when she’d had a chance to cool off she could maybe stand to sit with him under a blanket watching a movie. God, this was going to be a long afternoon.

———

Luke groaned, “Penelope, I’m fine, please just sit!”

She’d cleaned up, and fiddled with his dvd player, and now she was fluffing some pillows, Penelope just wanting to do this one last thing...she was fine now, it was fine, she'd re-centered and was all good again...the pillows just looked painfully flat.

“Agent Alvez I am not going anywhere until I see that you’ve been taken care of."

This was definitely hell, trapped in his favorite unfulfilled fantasy with the object of all his fantasies unknowingly throwing out cliché lines, stooped down on her hands and knees playing with cords, leaning right next to him with her chest at face level… And at that he groaned again, covering his face, head falling back as he let out a laugh. “Penelope, you need to stop. Please.”

"Why!? I’m only trying to help!” she stomped a little and he couldn’t help but notice the jiggle. Jesus.

Grabbing the hands that were fluffing pillows behind him, he made eye contact and pointedly nodded down straining out a laugh, “Because you’re making things hard.”

If Penelope could have turned into a deer in that moment she would have, eyes and the urge to freeze or run never bigger. He could see questions filtering behind her stunned stair, but he cut her off using the show as an excuse. “…Movie’s starting, just. Let’s watch.” He didn’t mean to make her uncomfortable, he just wasn’t sure how else to get the point across. Somehow, it was just him and the most adorably oblivious turn-on alone together. And he couldn’t do anything about it.

His grip loosened, Penelope ripped her arms away almost instantly. “Yeah. Okay…”

What the fudge? Clearly he was embarrassed or frustrated at his reaction to her, but he didn’t have to be so…so upfront. He liked her, he liked to mess with her, but he didn’t see her that way, she knew. Guys like him, no matter how many times they danced with her, or kissed her cheek, or took her to dinner, guys like him went for girls like Lisa. It was an accident…Even if parts of her wanted it not to be, imagined it, he was her favorite frenenemy, nothing more.

She grabbed the remote from the table, skipping through the production title and flipped up the blanket sitting down, making sure to leave some space between them.

After a half hour of trying and failing to get into it, Luke found he wasn’t especially interested in the movie she’d picked and let his mind wander to the woman beside him, to things he not so eloquently made clear earlier, to things that as much as he knew he should want to, he did not want to take back. Instead, Luke moved closer, her perfume and costume, the whole of her making him feel like taking a risk.

His gaze flowed from face to blanket covered knees and back, eyes caressing the soft lines of her collar and the exposed curve of her breast. A quiet noise seeped out as his lip pulled in, images of what the whole of her would look like, feel like, filled his mind. Was she really only here under orders? Platonically? Like that? She wasn’t that naive…

It felt like it’d taken hours, but gradually working up the courage (or losing all reason), his hand moved from it’s place between his legs to between theirs, settling casually on the cavern their touching thighs made. He watched checking for her reaction, but found none. Then fingers started their slow descent.

Taking his time, pads glided against smooth skin and when they’d gone as far as they could, nails grazed upward coming back, slowly, slowly, slowly scraping. Down her thigh and up, slow, slow, slow. His heart was hammering, heat surging through his body as he repeated the action over and over, rough tips sneaking ever higher with each pass, thrilling himself touching her, silken skin and laborious movement, but seemingly drawing no reaction from the woman beside him, no change in expression or breath.

Floating drifting whispered flames licking the soft round of her leg, steady crawl on the swell of her thigh. There was no reaction because she was trying exceptionally hard to ignore him. At first she was positive it was nothing, just a shift of position, but when he kept going, that delightful feel, his skin on hers, his fingers where they shouldn’t be…she knew it was intentional. What intention he had she didn’t know, self soothing, mindless wandering? He was a very physical and affectionate person. This was nothing, just something he happened to be doing. Something she didn’t mind the feel of…

Luke’s pinky hitting the hem of her dress prompted a change in tactics. He became determined to get a reaction. Pinky trailed left and right along the hem, then ducked under caressing forbidden skin. This time though he caught her shoulders pull back and heard her breathing stilt at the touch.

The shift from up and down to UP and under shocked her. He was slowly climbing up her skirt. Luke. Further up her thigh than was casual. She couldn’t help the external jolt that accompanied the internal one at the shift in position. She was stunned in silence, curious how far he’d take it without saying anything.

His hand lengthened its trail, at the height of its journey he deepened pressure, giving more weight to gentler skin. Glancing over he saw her mouth hang open and eyes widen, but still she wouldn’t look, so he continued. Keeping the teasing pace, squeezing, thumb brushing sweet circles. Down thigh, up and under, nudging the skirt of her uniform higher with every sweep, fingers moving brave and brazen. The constant down and up was soon joined by fingers falling between her thighs, hands seeking more of her smoothness.

He watched the pulse jump in her neck and the flare of her nostrils, the heave of her chest and blush that bloomed across cream skin now in stark contrast to the white dress.

Her eyes fell closed and she licked her lips, “Luuke,” it wasn’t a warning, and it wasn’t a question, but it wasn’t encouragement either, it was something more akin to his plead earlier.

Even the sound of her, his name rolling on her tongue, was sexy. He wondered what other sounds she’d make, if she’d let him.

Like a dog with a bone or a kid with a lolly pop he took the glimmer of hope and ran. His lips moved along here ear as he spoke low, “Want me to stop?”

His fingers halted as he said it, lifting off, hovering. She realized, no. She didn’t want him to stop, she didn’t want to stop.

Emboldened, she turned to face him, thinking, why let a good costume go to waste? In for a penny, in for a pound. “Agent Alvez, I don’t believe, as the patient, that you’re supposed to be touching the nurses…I believe touching is our job.” She slid over him straddling his lap, “Be a good boy and don’t move, but if there’s something you need, you can always let me know. Now, open wide.” she teased, bitting her lip.

In that moment Luke felt like the world had come to a crashing halt, stunned into silence. Of course, this was the best possible outcome, the DREAM result of the whole day, but if she hadn’t been sitting directly in front of him, on him, he’d be sure she was fucking with him, payback, a joke. His ears flamed at her words, fuck, even like this, especially like this, Penelope taking the lead, she was perfection in his lap.

Penelope noticed, pulling the thin glass thermometer from her cleavage, that the tip of his ears were turning red and she had a moment thinking he couldn't be any cuter. Slipping it off her neck and under his tongue, she grinned, fingertips closing his jaw. “This needs to stay put. While it’s taking your temperature, I’ll check your pulse…”

Her hands moved to his chest, “Like this I can get a baseline,” then dipped forward sucking on the side of his neck. Luke’s head rolled back and to the side in a silent invitation, “but here at your carotid, I can monitor much better.” Her teeth scraped and her tongue slid across the taut tan skin. She could hear the glass clink.

Luke could feel his heart rate pick up and watched the mercury spike between his teeth, hands balling into fists as his body flushed, fighting to move. She chuckled throatily moving back up to whisper in his ear, “Are you feeling alright? Your pulse is racing. Feeling a bit apprehensive at what I might find?”

Luke shut his eyes, taking in a deep breath through his nose. This was very possibly the best thing to ever magically happen, he really didn’t want to mess it up…Muttering indistinguishably around the rod in his mouth, he momentarily pocketed it in his cheek, “Ah, Nurse Penelope, you said if there’s something I need, to …let you know?"

Penelope pulled up and away, hands still firmly planted on his pecks, but expression forming into a question.

“That button,” he hesitantly indicated with his nose, “is really…I would feel much better with it gone.”

“This button?” she asked, quirking an eyebrow and flicking her gaze down and back, “If you think it’ll help…” With a slip of her fingers the button popped free, and with it popped her cleavage well supported in lavender lace, white dress-top spreading to the sides.

He pushed out a breath staring. Though she’d felt his many intense looks before, none had ever been quite so heated, so obvious, and so hungry. His jaw had gone slack but his arms tensed firm and his knuckles gone white. Restraint.

Penelope smirked, self-satisfied at the reaction she’d garnered. Replacing the thermometer back under his tongue, she once again closed his mouth, this time brushing a kiss to his jaw as she pulled away.

Playing it up, she drew her arms together pushing her breasts in, up, and sighed deeply, looking thoughtful, she hummed, “Maybe I need a better reading.” Her hands skated down the soft cotton of his shirt until she found the hem, gliding them up the hard lines of his fluttering chest, shirt bunching up as she went. “As your attending medical professional, I’m going to need full access…” She looked at him mockingly stern, “Do you consent to full access?”

Doing his best to follow her lead and not move, Luke gave a muffled “um-hum” around the thermometer. She smiled wickedly as her thumbs hooked around bunched cotton and off came his shirt, beautifully toned chest revealed. Hands skated down abs and back up, taking in the feel of his skin on hers, Luke watching Penelope drink in every pebbled crease her touch called forth. Hands spreading to the sides, she grasped his arms leaning forward and kissed his collarbone, then peck, tongue slipping out hot and wet to lick at one nipple and then the other, Luke’s eyes fixed on the crown of blonde and full arching white skirt in front of him.

He felt the warmth of her thighs around his legs, the soft scrape and plush drag of her lace cradled breasts moving and pressing into his abdomen, the heat of her mouth on him moving lower. He wanted to touch her, to have more of her, to feel more of her.

She was meticulously kissing her way down his stomach, muscles under skin tensing firm and releasing lax at the smooth glide of her lips and nails until she could bend no lower and suddenly she slipped from his lap to the floor below. Her eyes met his, both black and full, not a word exchanged as her hands glided back up his thighs, legs spreading easily at the slightest pressure suggestion and then quick fingers deftly undid button and zipper.

“You’re being such a good patient, I think you deserve a treat.” she purred, hand slipping into waistband, only to reappear wrapping just barely around the girth of him.

Nurse Penelope, hat pinned askew, red lips still intact (he’d have to do something about that), white uniform split open, on her knees between his legs was really doing things for him, something he’d hold on to and use again and again should this be the only time it happened. He watched her tongue glide out wetting her lips and felt the blood rush further down, her eyes widening on his as they both felt his cock harden, thicken at the action. The effect she had on him.

“Seems a bit swollen,” she breathed out, “maybe some friction would help relieve the pressure.” Luke watched on, eyes wide in disbelief that this was his luck, that this was really happening. She took him in her sweet wet mouth, expert tongue curling and wrapping, lips closing and cheeks going hollow. She was a vision, a dream, he thought about thanking the team, but silently thanked god instead.

Luke sighed and moaned above her as she licked up his shaft, tongue moving flat around the crown, silky smooth hands lightly gripping and twisting at the base of his cock, then enveloping the whole thing again sucking hard up and down, white hat bobbing. Slick and wet he watched as red gradually coated his skin like a candy cain, cock disappearing and reappearing shiny, glistening, firmer, thicker, the heat of her coating him, then cool air hitting, in and out of red lips, red lips streaking his cock. He fought against moving until he couldn’t any longer, thighs constricting around her, hips pitching and hands shooting to tangle and tighten in gold curls, Penelope swallowing then gagging on the length of him before popping off, sloppy and slick with saliva looking up breathless, lipstick smeared lewdly around her mouth and chin, and all over him. “I guess we don’t need to check your reflexes.”

A hand untangled to catch her jaw, thumb gently wiping scarlet away, a smile twisting up and once again pushing the glass rod out of the way, “Sorry, not so good after all I guess. But if you come up here with me, I’m sure I can make it up to my nurse.”

Her mouth quirked, mirroring his own, she stood and he let his hand fall from her hair, Luke hard and wet and red beneath her. A hand moved to undo the rest of her buttons but he broke in. “No, don’t. Take off anything-everything but that uniform.”

Fingers stopped mid-air, if she had any doubt the effect this silly getup was having, it had all but vanished, simpering, she asked “and what about the heels?”

“Fuck the heels, do what you want, but don’t lay a finger on that cap and dress.” He barked out a laughed, his head ducking at how desperate and direct he was being. “Penelope Garcia, I don’t know what I did for you to grace me with this gift, but I will not be wasting it. The uniform stays on, please.”

Abandoning the heel issue, she placed a hand to his shoulder for balance as the other removed the thermometer, slowly climbing over him. “Well, Mr. Alvez, should we proceed with the checkup then?” And like that, his hands were on her waist and her lips were on his, sloppy and hot and fierce, a hand slipping off him to land on the back of his sofa, bodies colliding, Penelope rising and falling with the rhythm of something else.

Luke’s hand rose up her back struggling to undo the clasp of her bra through the fabric of her uniform, his other hand slipping down to squeeze at her ass and slither under her skirt massaging and pinching, kisses continuing through panted moans. Finding no luck with the clasp, his hand dove in front of her between body and dress, arm barley fitting, fabric pulled uncomfortably to it’s limit until he felt the clasp come free and quickly slipped up her arms to slide down the straps, in moments bra free, milky white breasts suspended and pressed between them, nipples pressing into his skin. The hand on her ass shot up to the back of her head, arm cradling Penelope as he dipped to pull a fresh pink nipple into his mouth, lips open and working the flesh around it like his tongue was to the small point. Her eyes closed, leaning into the support of him, hands carding through his thick mass of waves, Penelope huffing and mewling, hips writhing at his efforts.

He switched haphazardly, building her up in the heat of his mouth only to release her to the chill of the air, a hand snaking from behind, two fingers brushing and curling across damp underwear, firm and steady over and over, he could feel the heat of her, her legs spreading just a bit more, fingers and fabric slipping up. Her hands moved to her own chest, his name caught up in a shuttered breath. Leaning back again, Luke guided her toward him, lips meeting hers, hands creeping up her thighs to pull underwear off, Penelope naked under the dress.

With Luke still in pants beneath her, she kneeled up allowing him space to shift and shimmy off pants, then boxers, hands setting both free with a flick then coming back to Penelope, finding space on her waist, her hips, guiding her back down, the wash of uniform cotton teasing his aching cock between them, hands leisurely kneading fists of flesh under skirt as she rocked above him into their deep kisses. It didn’t take long for fingers to become restless however and they had once again found themselves between her thighs, rubbing and brushing, slipping and pinching between folds and nub. Her breath became labored and her rhythmic up and down became riotous. Nails dug into his neck and his scalp, arms wrapped around his shoulders and clung to his traps grinding against him, forgetting all danger, all possibility of slippage. Panting and heavy the flesh of her tits rubbed slick between them, Luke mouthing and nipping kisses to her neck and her clavicle. Through the air and sound, through his focused efforts on her, the phrase broke through, light and airy “Luke, I’m…I’m gonna..”

She didn’t need to finish the thought, he could feel it in his hands as she fucked herself on his fingers, “Do it, let go, come for me.” His pressure increased becoming harsher, quicker, fingers curling and spreading as she sunk low against him, shallow and firm, grinding, breath high in his ear and arms locked heavy around him until everything tightened up, walls clenching strongly, relaxing and clamping again, plush walls tightening around him like her lips on his dick. A high and quiet “Uuuhnf” finishing, a flush of wet coating him and her forehead on his shoulder.

She giggled nervously as a hand soothingly stroked up and down her back, palm moving across her waist, over her hips and ass, lips pressing soft kisses into sweat dappled hot skin. As she laid into him, stabilizing her breath, she could feel his cock pressing imposingly large and hard between them, Luke really was very patient, others would have come from the blowjob alone...

Penelope pulled back, cheeks glowing red, eyes sparkling with euphoria, she wanted to keep going, but really didn’t plan on this happening so didn’t have anything with her…“It seems your nurse has come ill-prepared…I think we um, need a glove, for the uh…procedure to proceed…”

Besides the whole fact that he was pretty sure by now this was not the afterlife or a fever dream, his favorite part of this whole thing was her dedication to the bit. Of course, if anyone would, it would be Penelope Garcia, he just thanked his lucky stars for her choosing to bestow this gift on him as he did indeed, greatly appreciate it. Still, it took a minute to understand, and fair, neither of them would have guessed this would happen (Wish? Yes. Dream? Obviously, frequently, but guess? Never. Planned? Definitely not before now.)

His eyes widened when meaning dawned on him “Oh yeah. Yes. Just,” his hands left her, moving helplessly beside them “um.” She was still on top of him, which he wasn’t complaining about, but it did prevent him from getting the needed materials.

“Oh!” Penelope lifted a leg across him and turned, now sunken into the couch.



Luke leaned over, pulling her into a deep kiss, then pulled away to get up, “You’re not…gonna be gone when I get back are you?”



A smile broke out across her face as she tugged at and righted herself, “Oh Newbie, what kind of nurse would I be if I disappeared on my shift?”



Dashing back found Penelope, hair re-fluffed and uniform as neat as could be expected, in the middle of reapplying her lipstick. She looked up at him accusatorially, though her face was still flush and shining, “You didn’t tell me my lipstick was all smeared!”

Luke laughed, but had the good sense to look some-what apologetic. “I figured you knew? It was…completely hot.” Coming to sit next to her, his hand moved to her thigh rubbing and kneading, “Seeing you like that, knowing I’d had a part in it...” His other hand came to her cheek, thumb hovering over fresh lips.

Her eyes bore into his daring him to do it, daring him to fuck up her pristine exterior one more time. His touch became more insistent, fingers dragging and pushing friction up and down her thigh as he held her gaze just inches from his own, pupils massive black pools in a thin ring of candy brown.

He dipped closer, murmuring, “You know, if you kiss me again, it’s just going to smear again…”

There was a flash of something, her body shivering and he knew he’d won, Penelope pushing her lips to the pad of his thumb until it pressed into the dark damp of her mouth, wrapping her tongue around it and sucking before releasing it, letting it smudge across her cheek, all the while never releasing his gaze from hers.

The grip on her thigh tightened almost painfully, Luke swiftly pulling her closer, ripping her over and across him, lips nearly touching, hovering, waiting, and then slowly, delicately, he pressed his lips to hers, firm and deep, mouths parting and closing with the other. Her hand once again finding a spot in his hair, rubbing at his ear, sinking low onto his lap, his kisses warm against hers, easily falling back into each other, building the other up. The strokes his hands delivered moved from outer thigh, to inner thigh, to between her thighs and once again Penelope was on the verge of dissolving above him. She was tingling and bubbling and if she wasn’t careful she’d be coming a second time in front of Luke instead of with him.

Her hand slammed the table behind her in a feeling search for the foil pack, fingertips finding it, scooping, she pulled back, separating as he chased forward, eyes a glazed half mast. She was breathy and dazed, and if she stopped to think about it, so very exposed…but she could do this, lean in to the costume, Penelope grinned down at him gaping up at her as if she were the most magnificent thing he’d ever seen. She, in fact, was. Ripping the package open, giving one last line, she said, “Time for that thorough inspection, Alvez.” and then winked. His hands came to hers, helping her roll it on, Penelope gave a gentle squeeze at the base, then bent to kiss the tip, kiss his chest, and finally, kiss him. They worked together, slower, more carefully. Luke entered her fully, deeply, holding off with what little restraint he had left as he stretched and filled her, Penelope hot and tight and slick around him. Her mouth dropped and her hands rose to the balls of his shoulders letting out stilted “ahs” and “ohs” as she explored small movements, little twists of her pelvis, rising and sinking gingerly at the burn.

His hands were loose around her waist and he was buried deep inside her when they made eye contact and each let out a small huffed laugh, the reality of it all hitting them. He brought a hand to her cheek kissing her gently, then moved a hand under the skirt, fingers settling high on her thigh and thumb finding her clit, brushing it lightly, teasing strokes meant to sooth and stimulate. Licking his lips, he leaned forward pressing lush open kisses to the sensitive skin at her neck and to her collar, a low murmur rumbling against her, “You’re doing great, Chica. Incase I haven’t mentioned it, this is the best thing to have ever happened to me.” Slowly, slowly, Penelope began to move in a found rhythm, sighs stretching out, getting softer. At her cue, Luke moved with her, shallow at first, then deep and sweet and slow, arm coming to brace at her lower back. He pressed kisses into her voluptuous breasts and trailed a necklace around her collar.

What had started out kitschy and light was gradually transforming into a deeply sensual and intimate thing, something Penelope never saw coming, something Luke always knew he wanted with her but never thought he’d have. As much as she tried she couldn’t take her eyes off him, his measured movements dragging out and entering somehow deeper, somehow more, until they were barely moving at all, his jaw dropping, his eyes swimming in hers. Penelope rocking, Luke reaching between them to glide strumming strokes, fresh heat flooding her cheeks, mouth stuttering open, her orgasm sneaking up on her, coming quietly, pushing him over the edge as she tightened and flooded around him, a shuttered breath as he came too.

Penelope swallowed hard, gaze still caught on his, only breathing out, “wow” into the space. Wow that was unexpected, wow, she’d just done something very bad, wow, she couldn’t find a single bone that cared…wow.

Just as caught off guard and wrapped up in what had transpired, Luke responded with an equally eloquent “yeah” as they both looked on through the other.

Eventually letting gravity take him, holding on to Penelope, Luke slowly fell sideways, feet pushing off the arm of the couch to slide upward until they were laying down, a tangle of legs and limbs, lax bodies still humming with pleasure. He rolled across her, hand blindly searching, then tugging up the throw that had slipped to the floor, lazily covering them with it, he snuggled into her collar.

Penelope, having recovered her senses somewhat, and curiosity once again being piqued, finally asked, “Ok, Cool Hands, where’d this come from? It’s clearly not something you’d buy.” She glanced at him, weaving the tail of a bright strand back in and pulling the blanket under her chin, “Aside from my housewarming gift, this is the only thing with color in this whole room. AND BEIGE does not count.” she rushed in a panic, hoping some humor might throw off the awkwardness of having accidentally brought up his ex after spontaneous role-play-turned-intensely-passionate sex.

It did.

He laughed at the addendum, then sighed preparing to explain. “My grandmother made it…She, like you,” he paused to kiss her shoulder, “is a very vibrant woman. It’s one of the few things I asked my mother to hold on to for me. Once I knew I was staying here for good, I went and got it.”

“Aw, that’s really sweet.” she snuggled up next to him wrapping an arm around his waist.

“What’s sweet is you coming over like that, to take care of me like this.”

Penelope playfully poked at his chest, “That was not my intention! I told you the team said-”

But Luke cut her off with a kiss, then, recalling more from that particular interaction, “You know, I seem to remember also saying something about sponge baths…”

Penelope nodded, mouth curling into a smile “Mmm, the team really knew what they were doing, didn’t they?”

“Penelope, I don't think anyone could have known about this.”