#but sometimes you uh. are not so in touch with your own bodily systems and needs

[consolecadet]

My rule of thumb for electrolyte drinks is that if they they taste really good, then I'm dehydrated, but if they taste gross and salty then I'm probably fine

[sapphicmsmarvel]

FW: How He Helps with Anxiety

masterlist 

hp masterlist 

TW: anxiety and panic attacks. 

-When you started dating, he witnessed an anxiety attack. 

-He didn’t know what to do so he resorted to what he would do with his younger siblings if they were crying.  

-The thumbs up, thumbs down method. Words weren’t needed and easy enough gestures to communicate. 

-Then you told him about your anxiety. 

-When you did, he actually went to the library and researched all about it. If you two were at the burrow he’d use the internet system you had set up for the Weasleys. 

-He can tell when you go into an anxious headspace. 

-You start disassociating and not listening to anyone around you. 

-If he says something to you to get your attention, there’s two options in your responses.

You nod as if you’re listening. 

You don’t answer at all. 

-In which he’ll lightly touch your hand and get your attention. You try to smile reassuringly, but it doesn’t work.  

-If you two can’t leave the situation for whatever reason, he’ll offer his hand to you. You’ll hold it tightly and if there’s a pen nearby, you’ll draw on his hand. 

-But if you’re able to leave, he’ll guide you away. 

-He’s also very good at making up reasons as to why you two need to leave. 

-He’ll take you to wherever safe space is closest. Usually it’s his bedroom at the burrow. Or one of your dorms. 

-He also assures you that there is absolutely nothing to be sorry for when you apologize. 

-He’s quick to get you your fidget cube and cbd vape/gummies. 

-He hates seeing you in pain, more than anything. Especially since he can’t do anything to ease it. It’s not physical so he can’t bandage you up, it’s not an outside source so he can’t prank the hell out of them.  

-the best he can do is support you, he knows that. 

-He always asks if he can hug you or touch you to relax you. 

-Sometimes you say no, and that’s okay. He’s more than happy to do whatever you need him to. 

-He also knows what movies to put on, or music to distract you. 

-He has walked in on panic attacks before. 

-You have a habit of putting your hands in your hair and tugging on the strands. He asks before he does it, but he will gently pry your hands from your scalp. 

-He also knows how to get you water and he knows what methods to use to get you to stop hyperventilating. 

“Breathe in seven seconds, hold for five, release another seven.”

“Okay love, name 5 things you can see.” He said holding your hand to his chest to feel his heartbeat. 

“Uh,” you looked around. “George's unmade bed, your quidditch robes, your freckles that look like stars, the picture of us above your bed, the quilt I made you.” 

“4 things you can feel.”

“Your heartbeat, my sweat, my tears, the fuzzy socks in my boots.” 

“3 things you can hear.” 

“Your voice, I love your voice. Did you know that? Uh, the noise from downstairs and the ticking of the wall clock.”

“2 things you can smell.”

“Cinnamon and cloves.”

“1 thing you can taste.”

“The water you gave me.”

“Good, baby, good.”

-He celebrates your achievements louder than anyone else. Say you overcame a giant fear of yours and got your license, he’s right there practicing with you and reassuring you that you are incredible and unstoppable. 

-He’s so proud of you too. 

-Because he and George are successful business men, they get invited to galas a lot of the time. You are happy to go with him and support him. But sometimes it can put a lot of weight on your anxiety. And sometimes, you need to resort to the bathroom to take those anxious pees or shits. 

-You two are that couple that’s just brutally blunt about everything. Including bodily functions. 

-He’s always amazed when you overcome hurdles and wear a smile on your face while doing so.

-He once looked at you and said, “you know how amazing you are right?” 

You laughed sadly, “I don’t feel all that amazing.” You said as you chipped off your nail polish. It was an anxiety tick. 

He pulled your hands apart. “My love, you are the strongest person I know. Who the hell can battle their own mind every single day and still wear a smile? Who can handle dating me for Godric's sake and not get anxious?” He laughed at his own joke.

You didn’t laugh. 

“Freddie, you realize how much you’ve saved me right? I mean, yeah I did this all myself, but you were there with me. I love you. I see a future with you. Please don’t think you’re a lot to handle, because you aren’t.”

And there his sweetheart was, as always they shined through. 

“I love you, Y/N.” He kissed your forehead, “I love your strength, I love the fact that even when you’re sad you always make sure others are okay, even though I want you to take care of yourself first. I love how loving and caring you are. How selfless, brave, at this point I’m just using synonyms over and over again but I think it helps get my point across.” He grinned as you smiled, tears in your eyes. “Lastly, I am so incredibly proud of you.” 

“I love you, Frederick Gideon Weasley.” You sealed your statement with a soft kiss.

[johannesviii]

So I guess I’m hyperfixating on Death Stranding at the moment

And since I’ve finally finished the story after playing it for like 100 hours over the course of seven months or so I guess I have Opinions(tm) about things I didn’t like in the game

They’re eating at my brain so I’m gonna put them all in a single post to get them out of my system once and for all so I can enjoy the rest in peace

Spoilers, obviously

Hi welcome back to ‘Johannes is obsessing over yet another video game with horror elements in it’! I guess!!

Our latest entry in that category was Until Dawn but since UD can be played in like 6/7 hours and I spent 100 hours of my life on DS, as you can guess we’re talking about a full-blown hyperfixation, the kind that physically hurts because I can’t focus on anything else even after having finished the storyline

But it was super gradual. Again, seven months. I barely made any progress from December to May because I was only doing side-deliveries at the beginning of Chapter 3 instead of... you know... advancing the plot. It became an honest-to-god special interest about two months ago, then 6 days ago while playing chapter 10 it reached hyperfixation levels and now I am in PAIN

I hate my brain

Anyhow

At first I wanted to list the good and the bad hings in it but there’s too many good things to list them all in full, excruciatingly long details, so

Very Quick And Very Incomplete List Of Good Things That I Love

It’s a post-apo game based on travel, logistics, and good will, and it straight up goes AGAINST the whole ‘survival of the fittest’ trope that SO MANY post-apo things try to push!! YES

I insist but it’s built on helping each other and keeping everyone alive, seriously that is my shit right there!

The online community is wholesome?? People leave stuff everywhere, you never see anyone but people put little helpful signs and send you likes, and in my game we almost managed to repair all the roads together

There’s so many new & strange allergies and disabilities and phobias in this post-apo world and? nobody is trying to ““fix”“ anyone?? Like Heartman with his padded floor and his little box that brings him back to life constantly. He’s just... living like that. Nobody’s going “hey maybe you should get another heart operation buddy”

The hero and his phobia of being touched. I. Loved. That. The quiet scenes when he was just talking with Fragile, sitting next to her. In any other context this would just be two people sitting next to each other and talking but it always feels so soft and intimate everytime he allows another human being to just. be next to him. I love it. I love them

Everyone crying constantly because of chiral allergy!!

I loved all the important characters bar one (Bridget/Amelie)!

Why is this walking simulator so enjoyable why am I enjoying the fact that holding L2 + R2 while walking feels like holding your backpack and that you have to relax at times just like you’d have to if you were actually holding a backpack

Seriously. Why

The atmosphere was so great, the music was fantastic and the visuals were on point. A E S T H E T I C

The ghosts!! The giant Beached Things!!! Chiral crystals look! like! creepy hands reaching for the SKY!!

THE RAIN DESTROYS THINGS AND KILLS PEOPLE BY ACCELERATING TIME THIS IS SO COOL SHUT UP

Everytime the game got surreal it was electrifying

THE SURREAL WAR SCENES ON CLIFF’S BEACH

Everyone is using emojis

There’s guys addicted to delivering packages in that game and they’re trying to steal our stuff and we’re like “haha they’re dumb” but we’re basically addicted to delivering packages as the player. So yeah that was pretty fun

Terrorists thinking humanity isn’t going extinct fast enough and wanting to just rip the bandaid and speed things up. Simple but effective concept

People ask for SUPER VITAL ITEMS right next to completely trivial stuff and I’m LIVING for it. “Please fetch my toy dinosaur”. I feel you dude

The most isolated characters are like "LET ME TELL YOU ABOUT THIS THING I LIKE" in your emails because they haven't had contact with other humans in years, it's super relatable

There’s a farm where people use the fact that Timefall rain accelerates time to grow food super quickly in one (1) Timefall and harvest everything just before it starts to die and I LOVE that detail of worldbuilding so much

YOU’RE FIGHTING BEACHED THINGS WITH YOUR OWN BODILY FLUIDS IT’S SO STUPID BUT ALSO SO COOL?? I love yeet-ing my own blood at eldritch entities

THE T W I S T S

All the fanservice (bar one detail that I’m gonna complain about later) is on dudes. This game reeeeeeally likes to show dudes naked or somewhat naked. Mostly the main character but this mocap also L O V E S Mads Mikkelsen and there’s a shit ton of homoerotic shots in there

I love Sam the antisocial papa wolf delivery man and if someone touches him or his baby again, I will cry

LOU. LOU LOU LOU PRECIOUS BABY I’D DIE FOR YOU. Wait I did

I love Fragile and how brave she is and how she keeps helping people even if most of them wrongly think she’s a terrorist and yes I will eat this cryptobiote thank you

I love soft science boi Heartman who keeps dying again and again and is a bit too much interested in bodily fluids

I love garbage man Higgs and how complex, funny and still somewhat tragic this memelord actually turned out to be in the end

Seriously I want to stop fixating on this character but you can’t give me YET ANOTHER character who wants to die but at the hands of someone else, that is unfair to do that right after my fixation on the new Doctor Who Master

So yeah Higgs is yet another character who makes me want to grab him by the lapels and shake him and yell WHY! ARE! YOU! LIKE! THIS! STOP! BEING! LIKE! THIS!!

Cliff broke all three of my feelings beautifully and in excruciatingly well-acted scenes that transcended the sometimes lackluster dialogue

John made me cry during That Scene

Mama your background was tragic and terrifying and you didn’t deserve any of this shit and I love you

Deadman was more funny than anything, really, but I still liked him even if he had no sense of personal space whatsoever and it clashed horribly with Sam’s phobias

The ending had some sad parts but was mostly positive, thank goodness

Now I’m gonna explain things I dislike and this looks long but it’s actually only 5 main things so I bolded them to avoid confusion

Things I really disliked (and could have been handled wayyyy better)

We all know it but Kojima isn’t a master of subtlety and some parts of the dialogue kept repeating the same informations again and again AND AGAIN and I was like “ok ok I get it”

The dialogue can be so bad at times seriously

Kojima is a bad writer there I said it

It was particularly annoying with Amelie/Bridget and the fact she’s a horrible person trying (and failing) to justify her actions wasn’t helping

Bridges protocols are incredibly intrusive. All of them. I know it’s framed as bad and Sam hates being spied on all the time and in the end he destroys the device that does that, but I wish someone else would openly criticise it in-game

I guess Deadman sort of did but still

Also I know the whole BB technology was Bridget’s idea, and since she’s the actual villain it’s framed as a twisted, evil thing during the ending, but I wish that had been framed like that much earlier ; a lot of Bridges employees just... seem to accept the idea that their employer is using premature babies and their dead mothers as useful, if disturbing, devices. They seem to justify it by “uh we stole that technology from terrorists” to try to cope with the idea but... yeah.

I mean, one of the points being made very early on is that Sam sees his BB as his child who must be protected at all costs instead of a detection device, but I really wish he wasn’t the only one to object to that thing

Again, the game DOES frame "using babies and their dead mothers as tools” as evil and twisted, I just wish it was given a lot more weight and way sooner

Now let’s talk about the Token Straight(tm) in this game

In any other kind of context it would be a joke! But Death Stranding literally has a Token Straight Guy!

I mean, there IS a few hetero couples among the Preppers. Not a lot, mind you. Like, there’s the Montaineer and his wife for instance. But they’re just there and it’s not what their side plot is about

No I’m talking about this piece of shit right there

This f█cking Junk Dealer guy complains the girl he loves is dead because of Bridges and emotionally blackmails us by sending us old holograms of her before her supposed death (somewhat disturbing holograms too because she looks... pretty young in them), then he sends us on what’s essentially a suicide mission in a BT infested zone, THEN when we give him proof she’s still alive and living in another bunker nearby, he won’t go there himself to check??

But SHE’s like “ok, bring me to him, then!”

He doesn’t deserve you, girl

I’ve already seen several people pointing out that carrying a woman as cargo on your back is... debatable at best and sexist at worst, but that part didn’t really bother me to be honest? She asked to be carried to him and it’s her choice. She was talking to us the entire way too, so that made things a lot less awkward. Also Sam has this phobia of being touched by other people so I bet carrying another human being on his back isn’t fun for him. It was also super stressful to do, to be honest.

And then there’s this EXTREMELY AWKWARD scene when they’re reunited and decide to get married, and thankfully Sam finds it just as awkward as we do because he’s standing super far away from the bunker in a “can’t they talk about this later - I’m right there” way. And I’m under the impression it was intended as cringy, in a “yeppp young people in love are Like That” sort of way, so I can accept that, to be honest. If you don’t take that scene seriously, it’s pretty fun in, again, a cringy sort of way

BUT

Then you receive more emails later and this piece of shit guy complains about her and he’s like “ugh WOMEN” or “marriage is the worst” and they end up divorced in record time and she goes back to her bunker

Which isn’t my problem with this subplot either, I promise I’m gonna explain myself eventually but this context is important. It’s okay to have characters who are pieces of shit like this guy who reeks of incel cologne. It’s alright. Not every character has to be a role-model. It’s good to have characters you can hate.

BUT THEN they get back together later to try to patch things up and you learn he was part of a gang who murdered her parents even though he protected her against the rest of the gang and that’s what I hated about that storyline. I guess if you squint it can be read as “this woman is making REALLY BAD life choices” but I read it as “he saved her so she owes him something, he can’t be entirely bad” and y i k e s this left such a bad taste in my mouth, good lord.

But yeah miss Chiral Artist you’re making really bad life choices please get away from this dude as soon as you can, thank you

Also don’t do this ‘sending Likes’ pose ever again, it was hilarious but also you made me use the word “cringy” several times in this paragraph even though I absolutely hate cringe culture, look what you made me do

Now I have to talk about a scene that was intentionally disturbing as hell but ONE (1) detail in it was disturbing for the wrong reasons

To be honest, I really don’t like the Metal Gear Solid games and one of the reasons is the rampant sexism in them so I... was kind of bracing myself for Death Stranding and expecting it to have at least SOME really bad fanservice with a woman at one point or another but to my surprise?? There was none? All the fanservice is on dudes??? Hello? I really liked that (well at some point Fragile takes a shower in our room but we see literally nothing except her shoulder and then Sam looks away)?? What a refreshing change

THAT BEING SAID

And if you played the game you know exactly what I’m about to talk about

Yep this is the part where Johannes complains about how the bomb flashback was shot

Ok so I guess I should also give some context in case someone is reading this but hasn’t played the game, but the deal with this scene is that our friend Fragile was betrayed by her colleague Higgs who used to be a porter but became a terrorist after meeting the “main“ villain of the game. First he secretly put a thermonuclear bomb in one of her deliveries so she’d nuke an entire city without even knowing it, and everyone after that thought she was a terrorist. And then he tried to do that shit A SECOND TIME, but she noticed and decided to toss the second nuke into a bottomless lake of tar. But he caught her just before she reached the lake and he decided to give her a sadistic choice, which was “teleport away and the bomb stays there and nukes the city, or carry it to the lake but only in your underwear under this rain that speeds up time and it will do enormous damage to your health and your body”

And of course being the hero she is, she decides to take the second option

And it’s an incredibly disturbing scene and it’s genuinely hard to watch

But it’s also the ONLY time a woman is in her underwear in this entire game and there’s A COUPLE of shots that were male-gaze-y at the beginning before she started to run and the really horrific part started.

So in a way I guess it could have been worse? way worse, even

But it still tarnishes an otherwise disturbing (and harrowing at times ; seriously I know I’m oversensitive but it was physically painful to watch) scene with unnecessary shots

We know Fragile had a young body before this happened, this isn’t the point of this scene, guys

Whoever decided to keep these shots (probably Kojima let’s face it), that is bad and you should feel bad

Idk how to do a visual transition for that next one because I do not want to screen that memo

So here’s a screenshot with a nice landscape instead

tw: acephobia

Now I have to talk about something I like the GENERAL IDEA of, but not how the IN-GAME MATERIAL ABOUT IT was written

Because I have to talk about that “asexual world” memo

First I have to say that I absolutely love the fact that a mainstream game openly says in-game “this future is full of asexual people" and?? it’s just that, it’s a part of this world. That’s just how things are. It’s normalised. I love it. For crying out loud this memo has the word demisexual in it. I can’t think of any other mainstream game that had this word in it so far.

It should have stopped there and let me enjoy that in peace but it didn’t

THE MEMO ITSELF WAS CLEARLY WRITTEN BY SOMEONE WHO DOESN’T KNOW HOW TO HANDLE THESE CONCEPTS and there’s some really bad stuff there. I’d say it’s accidental acephobia but it’s still there. I’m not the best person to talk about this because I’m bi, but it still rubbed me the wrong way

The words this memo uses near the beginning are “"sexless lifestyle” among young people” and yikes, my dude. “Lifestyle”, uh? Really?

And then it goes on about how these new labels were already more and more common “among young people before the Death Stranding” and it also rubs me the wrong way, in a “wow young people and their weird labels lol” sort of queerphobic way?

However I’ve seen a post pointing out that the line “One theory posits that the Stranding accelerated the proliferation of these sexualities” was maybe a way of saying ‘yo asexuals are causing the end of the world’ but... I don’t see it, tbh? In the context of the game, society is extremely divided and a lot of people live in complete isolation and social norms have heavily shifted and it’s kind of normal that there’s queer people visible everywhere now, aces included obviously, because nobody’s bothering to hide it anymore. It’s a post-apocalyptic world! People are just being themselves! A lot of characters also seem to be bi/pan! They’re just vibing ok

At least that’s how I read that part, I can understand if someone had a problem with that bit but I didn’t

BUT! THAT’S NOT ALL because the memo concludes (I’m paraphrasing) “the birth rate has dropped, which might be a problem, but harassment and assault have also dropped, which is good, so idk it’s 50/50″ and. like. I get the intention. But it’s clumsy as hell and very bad. Please don’t confuse abuse of power and attraction. They don’t go hand in hand. Don’t do that. Please. And you know that aces can have kids if they want to, right. Come on. It’s 2020 my dude. This shit is harmful

Also. Like. It’s the end of the world in this game. People don’t want kids. It... has nothing to do with aces. Reality itself is crashing down. People are reluctant to have kids because reality.exe might f█cking crash down at any given moment!

Or a Beached Thing could VoidOut their city!

Or someone might send them a nuke, not naming names!!

Anyway!!!

It’s really badly written and whoever wrote it should educate themselves and maybe get an ace to re-read their stuff next time??

Again I’m not the right person to talk about acephobia and I bet an actual ace would have plenty more to say about this

Thankfully it’s a memo written in-game by a random Bridges councellor and NOT by any important character that we actually know

"I must preempt myself by admitting that I do not have any empirical data" yeah so, f█ck off maybe

So I’m just gonna call that guy “another piece of shit character” but it still doesn’t excuse the fact that the memo was written by someone who thought it was a good idea to put it in the game

Just let me enjoy my super queer post-apo world in peace and don’t write shit like that in your game thank you and goodbye

Minor stuff I also disliked but it wasn’t as awful

I get that Sam is upset at the end because Lou is dying but the way he said goodbye to Fragile broke my heart. It was abrupt and you KNOW he’s upset and wants to have nothing to do with Bridges anymore and that’s very understandable but it isn’t her fault

Seriously I want them to be friends again

I’m gonna pretend they’re friends again after Lou is saved and that Sam is a freelance porter again and sometimes their paths cross and they just talk together in the middle of nowhere and share cryptobiotes

The pacing is weird, there’s this deluge of plot in the beginning and the end but not much in the middle?

The BT boss fights could have been these epic Shadow of the Colossus showdowns but no, they were relatively standard boss fights. Wasted opportunity

The running on the Beach scene sdfghjhgfdsdfghjhgf that was... dumb

A lot of preppers are interesting in one way or another but some are just boring. Also I wish the design of their bunkers was more varied

Amelie/Bridget’s motivations are all over the place, both creating Bridges AND the Demens is... a lot? I know she both WANTS and DOESN’T want the actual, final end of the world to happen but that is a lot to take in and it’s all very confusing

Who the hell cares about ‘rebuilding America’ I just want to build a network where people can help each other

The ‘likes’ are fun but don’t make much sense

In conclusion

Death Stranding Good

Some stuff Bad

Some stuff Very Bad (but it’s just one memo out of 100+ memos, thank god)

I’m still hyperfixating

Send help

[hypnotica-ships]

3x3

So, thanks to some A+++ enabling from the discord server, I've decided to post my BNHA self insert fanfic. I haven't really talked about my insert, but I plan to sometime in the future, but for now I"ll leave ya'll in the dark.

This whole thing was made just to make me and my friends feel good and give us some much needed self indulgence.

Word Count- 1,550

Hypnotica- My S/I

Grafight- @fictional-characters-are-hot's S/I

Slasher- @alwayslovestruck's S/I

It's been 3 hours.

4 hours since the hero team Discorded was asked to help out with a capturing some drug smugglers.

3 1/2 hours since they found the drug den.

3 hours since Hypnotica sent in Grafight and Slasher to covertly search the place.

3 hours since he's heard a response.

It was a loud, shrill scream that made his blood go cold. Expecting the worst, he decided to find some loiters and use his quirk to get some backup.

After being only able to scour up 2 shadows for his mask alts to posses, he realized the longer he spends time looking for people, the more harm could come to his friends...*family*. Dolly, taking the form of a Harpy, and Dylan taking a shape of a Lion man, will have to do for backup. Hoping that it won't be needed, he finds an open window and heads into the den.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

"Look! They're opening the crates. That must be how they ship the quirk enhancing drugs."

"Slasher. I can't see shit, it's too dark in here and I don't have dope cat eyes like yo-....wait a sec..."

The younger of the heroes takes out a sketch book and quickly draws our some night vision binoculars and they suddenly 'pop' out into a physical object. After giving a thumbs up, in order to stay quite, Grafight uses the goggles.

"Oh shiiiiiiiiiiiiit....that's a lot of powder. How the hell do they sell it all?"

Slasher just shrugs it off and continues watching the group of men, tail swaying as they do.

All of a sudden, all of the men stop moving. A few moments later they all turn to the gurder that the hero duo were perched on.

"Hey! Lookey here fellas, some new 'test subjects' to try the new mix on."

"Oh as if you'd even come close to touching us! You won't even get a chance to lay a finger on us. Right Grafight?"

"Right! Good luck fuckers!"

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

"Slasher! Grafight! What's going o-...."

"We won!'

Hypnotica was greeted by the sight of Slasher triumphantly standing with one foot on top of a human mound of passed out thugs while Grafight was looking over the crate of drugs, kicking one of the thugs that started move on the ground.

"Wha- Then who the hell screamed?!"

Grafight, grabbing the thug she kicked by his collar and threatening to punch him again.

"This guy did. I think he's like...the kingpin or something. Screams like a little bitch though."

"We managed to take these guys out super easily, like it was nothing! Can't believe they were talkin' smack like they could beat us..."

Still a bit shaken up from his worry, Hypnotica headed over to check out the crate. Noticing a strange metal box buried slightly underneath some of the drugs, he pulls it out and begins to question the kingpin about it.

"This your tracker? Is this the thing that you use to keep an eye on your 'supplies'?"

"You better answer. Grafight is pretty liberal with bodily harm."

Slasher says as she walks over to look at the box better, poking it with one of her claws.

"...it....it...he.....hehaha..."

"Punching time?" Grafight asks looking up at Hypnotica.

"Not yet. He needs to be conscious to answer our questions."

"Talk then, asshat."

"...doesn't matter....we....we were gunna..."

"Gunna what, idiot?!"

"d....die...die anways..."

"...Punch him Grafight."

Hypnotica grumbles while Dolly pried open the box with her talons.

"Gladly!"

"...I don't think he meant, like, *80 times Grafight...*"

Slasher now worriedly watches as the kingpin get's absolutely destroyed by fists.

"..."

Hypnotica seems frozen as he looks down at the box, unmoving, and holding his breath. Cocking her head, Slasher notices that somethings wrong with him.

"Hey....you alright big bro?"

"..."

Finally stopping her onslaught on the kingpin, Grafight looks over to Hypnotica.

"Cat got your tongue or something?"

Still not saying a word, Hypnotica turns the box so the others can see. In the box is a small glowing green tube with wires attached to it, there's also a countdown screen slightly below it. It's only got 3 seconds left on it.

As her tail drops, so does her heart, with only a few second to accept her fate Slasher meekly gasps as she starts to speak.

'Oh..'

'Shit'

Grafight finishes Slasher's thought, right before everything goes white.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ Sirens are blaring as the green mist clears from the rubble of what's left of the warehouse. Various bodies are strewn all about, policemen and EMTs were able to arrive on the scene fairly quickly. Not that it mattered, the damage was done. From the looks of everything, there was no survivors, all thugs and kingpin were either crushed by the rubble or suffered from some strange type of asphyxiation. Death seemed to encompass the area, until one of the EMTs discovered a lion like shadowy figure seemingly protecting a group of still breathing bodies. The figure soon dissipated leaving a strange mask in it's place.

The bodies were still alive, but barely, and they needed medical attention and fast.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

"-Sources say that the 'hero' team were incapable of apprehending the group and had to resort to extreme measures to stop the-"

"Horseshit! Why would we set off a bomb? We had it covered already, it wouldn't kill them to get their facts straight..."

"Calm down Gummybear, the doc said you shouldn't strain yourself..."

It's been 4 days since Grafight was released from the hospital, suffering from 2 broken arms, rendering her unable to use her quirk...among other things. Fatgum, her partner, had insisted to stay by her side until things healed, neglecting his own hero duties in the process.

"The doc can shove it as far I care! These newscasters have no right to spew out garbage lies like that! It's gunna hurt our rep.... Sure we might not be the nicest, safest, smartest heroes in the game, but we aren't villainous either!"

"...You...you do have a point, but don't worry about it, I"m sure one of the others will give them a piece of their mind and sort things out. Right now you and I have dinner to eat!"

Grumbling as she rose from the couch, Grafight followed her partner to the kitchen, sitting down at the small round dinning table that the family usually shared. This dinner was different though. The table had a nice white satin cloth draped over it, with 2 light candles on top. It seemed that this time these two will be dinning alone.

"Take a seat baby, I'll go grab our meal."

"It better be something good, the meals at the hospital were utter shit..."

She lets her sentence trail on as a covered plate is placed ever so gently in front of her.

"Oh? Did you plan on surprising me? ....Babe, my arms, I can't open it."

"Yeah, my bad, here ya go my sweet Gummy."

Fatgum slowly removes the cover for maximum surprise effect. Once it's off, Grafight can't help but smiley widely as she notices one of her favorite meals, but with a culinary twist. Hotdogs sliced up into star shapes, surrounded by a circle of mashed potatoes, topped with melted cheese, a dash or salt, and a glob of ketchup in the middle of it all.

"So? Ya like?"

"..."

Grafight's eye's start to tear up, but her smile still stays plastered on her face. Fatgum notices right away and goes to quickly grab some tissues.

"Oh Gummy, I'm so sorry, I didn't mean to upset you! I just...I just thought I could do something special for ya...I...I-"

"Oh baaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaabe! I love it! Omg, I love it so much, you're the best, you know that right?"

"I...yeah....no. Wait. YOU'RE the best, you're so strong and special to me, I...I"m just so happy that I didn't lose you...you mean the universe to me."

"Stop...I'm already crying, let's just...let's just enjoy this meal together, okay?"

"Okay. I"m starving anyways..."

Fatgum takes his place across from Grafight, and starts to devour his meal.

"Uh....Ahem...."

"Oh! Yeah, my bad, let me help ya."

The two enjoy their meal together, never breaking their love filled eye contact.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

"Slow down Mochi, you shouldn't be over-exerting yourself."

"But Kano, I want to dance! I really like this song...cough cough...it's a total....total banger, and I deserve to have some.....fun after what happened. Everyone else has been so....gloomy since then....I just....want to bring some life.....back into the house is all...."

"I know, I know...but, you won't be able to do much joy-spreading if you can barely walk to the mailbox without getting winded halfway there."

"Hmph, stupid bomb chemicals getting.....getting into my lungs...fucking up my whole system...did they ever figure out what...what was in that tube...anyways?"

"They still haven't called us back about the results yet, but they said the inhaler they gave you was working well enough for us not to worry. So we won't, right Mochi?"

"...Yeah...I guess...I just hate...feeling weak like this...I wanna cry but.... I don't want the others to...to see....they've been through enough....I don't wan them to worry about me...me too..."

Kano takes a moment to think, after a moment he takes Slasher's paw and leads her into the living room.

"Sweety...what are you doing?"

After he gets Slasher to relax on the couch, he walks over the Hypnotica's advance sound system and grabs a homemade looking CD. Putting it in he looks to Slasher.

"The good doctor said YOU shouldn't exert yourself, but....he never said anything about me."

As soon as the music starts, Kano begins to dance in a way that's all to familiar to Slasher. It's a dance they've grown to call the 'Humpty Dance', and no one else in the house can quite get it right like these two.

"Oh Kano! This....this makes me so....happy! Keep...keep going! Maybe...maybe you could...put in some...Slipknot next? Pwetty Pwease?"

"Anything for you my Mochi."

Slasher enjoys the show Kano puts on for almost 2 hours, by the time he gets done, Kano is just about as winded as Slasher has been recently. The two then cuddle on the couch, just taking in each other's slow and labored breathes.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

"You will most certainly not."

Sir Nighteye slams his hand down on the counter to emphasize his point, making Hypntoica jump a little.

"And why the fuck not? The need to get their facts straight. I will not stand for all of this fucking slander."

Sir sighs and pushes his glasses up, trying to calm himself down.

"I understand that, but 'kidnapping the newsroom executive' is not the most ideal way to go about it. You can barely walk, even with the crutches!"

Motioning to Hypnotica's broken left leg, and the sprain in his other. Hypnotica just huffs and looks off to the side, still with an angered expression plastered on his face.

"So. Fucking. What? Okay, maybe kidnapping is a bit extreme, but..."

Sir's own angry expression starts to soften as he notices the tears that begin to fall from his partner's face. Wondering how long he's been holding it in.

"...I can't let my family take the blame for a stupid mistake that I made!"

Hypnotica's body begins to shudder as more tears fall, Sir walks over to him and embraces him in a way to try to calm him down.

"It's not your fault...all of you did what you could to try and handle the situation."

"That doesn't excuse all of the death and destruction that happened, and not to mention all the hurt my family is going through because of it!"

"No. It doesn't. But how is any of that your doing, hmm?"

"...I...I..."

"Shh, just stay, and relax. I'll make up a fully detailed report and send out a few copies to some of the stations. They'll most likely use those facts since my name does carry some weight..."

While still holding him with his right hand, Sir uses his left to tilt Hypnotica's chin up to meet his eyes. After a few seconds go by, he rests his head on his partner's.

"...Trust me dear. Everything will turn out just fine."

"Promise?"

"I promise. I saw it."

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

"A trusted source, who has decided to stay anonymous, has confirmed that the deaths in the Discorded Warehouse accident were not the before mentioned teams fault, but the fault of-"

"Thank you! Finally, a news channel that checks their facts. Even though I'm fine with a few deaths under my belt, but whatever I guess."

"Oh! Look Gummy! That's me! Saving all of those orphans was quite the task, I'll have to tell you all about it later."

"Kano my love! Let me help you with those dishes, there is far to many for one man to clean."

"Thank you Mochi! I kinda went all out with the meal this time, it was a celebration for everyone recovering so quickly....well, mostly everyone..."

"I call bullshit. Of course right after I get healed I trip down the stairs and end up right back to square one."

"Guess that means I'll have play nurse bit longer my dear."

~~*Cue Laugh Track*~~

[a-simple-lee]

Recovery

Tony Stark, Peter Parker, Reader

(Trigger warning: contains descriptions of a panic/anxiety attack)

Description: you have a panic attack, but Tony and Peter are there to help you figure things out. All you want to do is forget about it for a bit, so they try to shift your focus.

A/n: um yeah I was really happy with this until like the end bit but I hope you enjoy it anyway, it seems I've forgotten how to write Tony oof

______________________

Fear. It skulks up behind you, and looms there, a shadow in the back of your mind. You turn to the next page of your revision. Fear bristles like a cat, dark scrawling shapes extending outwards to tap your shoulder. You ignore it. Tony's clanging as he works on his suit makes for a good distraction.

The page of questions & notes seems a few miles away. You pick up a pen and place it on the paper to check the distance hasn't actually changed. Skeletal formulae seem foreign now, and this question doesn't make any sense. You start trying to answer it anyway. Stoichiometric ratios factored in, calculating the moles of Calcium chloride present shouldn't be an issue.

But it is. That's definitely not the right answer, and you can't proceed with the next steps of the question without getting this first bit right.

Break it down into steps, you think. Calculate the moles, the mass of the reactant, then the enthalpy change.

Fear's tendrils snake up your neck. It's cold, but it burns, static paralysing part of your brain. The white noise of Stark's crashing and banging becomes slightly drowned out.

Reworking the numbers, your answer still comes out illogically high. Where's the mistake?

This is only the second question. You're only meant to spend 5 minutes answering this. It should be easy.

Peter's discarded notes lie along the lab counter from yours. There's green pen saying he got full marks. Of course he would. He deserves to.

Perhaps the overestimate will cancel out if you carry on working anyway. Your hand scrawls out three more formula triangles, their symbols etched into muscle memory at this point. This should be easy.

It's not.

None of the formulae you know seem to fix the mess of your calculations. Fear bristles again, and reforms. Changes shape. It's a writhing mass of interwoven pencil scribbles, reaching up to brush your cheek.

Tears fall onto your paper. It's been 45 minutes. You should move onto the next question and give up, but this should be easy, it should be easy, it should be-

Fear swells, pushing, invading, all-consuming. It screams in your conscious, a frigid wave with riptides pulling you in ten different directions at once. You try to push it back, you try, but it's too much, and you're drowning.

You can't breathe.

The fear rises up and into your mouth, down to your lungs. It pushes and pulls and tugs. Your pen clatters to the floor as your ribcage is forced to expand and contract, in and out and in and out, you're breathing too fast but you're drowning, you're drowning.

This thing has control of your body now. You're trapped in a machine that's not following your orders. You sit up and lean against the lab bench, trying to fend off the feeling of something contorting your respiratory system over and over again.

"Shit-" A voice. Tony.

He's rushing around from his corner of the lab, concern lacing his features as his eyes scan your tear-streaked face and heaving chest.

"T-to--ny" It's so hard to speak. You need to talk, explain, but there's too much air passing in and out. Static creeps in at your toes and fingers, arms and legs going numb. Your knees buckle slightly, and you hold your hands up in front of your face. You can't feel them. It's just static.

Tony's in front of you now, hands outstretched but not touching you.

"Hey, hey, deep breaths okay?"

"I-I'm-----so-rry, p-pan---ic--" the words are interspersed with hiccups. Fear isn't letting you speak.

"Look at me, kid. Don't try to talk. Just focus on your breathing. It's okay." Slowly, cautiously, he places a hand on your arm. You grip onto the lifeline. The fear recoils slightly.

It's a long, slow five minutes of gaining back your bodily control after that. Of trying to breathe in for seven seconds, and failing, and trying again until it works.

One, two, three, four, five-

One, two, three-

One, two, three, four, five, six, seven. There.

You don't realise it's Tony counting the whole time until you take your first controlled breath in what feels like eons.

"Well done, kid. You okay?" He mutters, and you give him a weak smile.

"Y-yeah, I'm good. Thank you." There are still hiccups interrupting your speech, but they're less persistent. You can breathe by yourself again.

Tony pulls your chair closer, and you sit down facing him. He's crouched down, still trying to read you.

"S-sorry, I had a panic attack." It feels good to be able to say it without gasping for air.

"I know. It's fine. They're normal. Do you want to talk about it?"

"N-no. I think I need to-" hiccup. "-take my mind off it for a bit first."

"Okay. Wanna come help me? Or I could get Pete to come down-"

"Yeah, can we get Pete?"

So Tony leaves you in the lab with a glass of water whilst he goes to get Peter. You blindly reach out and slam your chemistry revision shut. It's about five minutes before he comes back, Pete bouncing down the stairs behind him. They give you a smile as they come in, and you smile back.

"Hey, so what're we working on?" Peter asks, pausing to hug you on his way in. The three of you stride over to Tony's bench, and the afternoon dissolves into terrible puns and light jibes at one another. It's exactly what you need. They're what you need.

"So the attendant says have a nice flight, and then-" You can't finish your sentence because you're laughing too hard, but you don't need to, because Peter steps in to clear things up.

"-and then I said 'You too'." He sighs, smiling slightly and pretending not be be embarrassed as Tony snorts.

"You're a disaster."

"He knows," you laugh, typing in one last command word on the computer before leaving the work alone. It's finished.

"So," Tony begins as you start packing up. "What are we having for dinner?"

"Pizza?" You suggest, holding the door open for the others.

"Sure."

Eight o'clock. The first episode of Star Trek: Discovery is playing on Netflix, and you're waiting for the pizza to arrive.

"My attack. It was about Chemistry," you say over the TV. Tony turns the volume down.

"I got stuck on a question and I just-I don't know. Sometimes I feel stupid. Peter gets it so easily, and it takes me so much longer to understand. Anyway, it wasn't that big of a deal, so I don't know why it happened. But yeah. Thanks for earlier. I just needed time to calm down. Still do."

Your mentor just nods, wrapping an arm around you.

"No problem. Pete and I are great at distracting people, anyway," he grins.

"Nah, I think that's just you, Mr. Stark." Peter chimes in.

"True," you laugh, and Pete leans over to give you a high-five.

Tony's hand tries to withdraw itself from around your torso, giving it a gentle squeeze in what is probably meant to be a calming gesture. But it tickles, so you find yourself yelping slightly and twitching away

instead.

"Gah-don't!"

"Shit, did I hurt you? Sorry-"

"No, no, It just- I'm ticklish."

"Oh?"

You've definitely made a mistake, but you don't realise this until Tony all but corners you against the couch, fingers skittering experimentally over your sides.

"Ahahaha-Tony!"

"Now why didn't you tell me this earlier?" He ignores your please for mercy, hands finding purchase in the gaps between your ribs. This is now an exploration, and Tony has every intention of mapping out all of your sensitive spots.

"Yohou dihidn't ask!" You answer, trying desperately to squirm away but failing miserably. Tony's vibrating his fingers into your tummy, which tickles way more than should be allowed. Your body curls inwards in an attempt to shut him out, but traps his hands there instead.

"Tohohony-plehehease! Mehehercy!"

"Hmm, let me think about that." He extracts one of his hands to spider under your arm, and grins when you let out a shriek. "Nah."

You catch Peter in the corner of your eye, moving to leave.

"Hey, kid! Where do you think you're going?" Tony pauses his onslaught, giving you time to catch your breath in amongst residual giggles.

"I-uh-I need to get plates for the pizza?"

"Don't worry, I'll get 'em in a minute."

Peter comes back, and is about to sit down when Tony starts tickling you again.

"No-wait- Tohohony! Ihihi'm gohohohonna-" you're about to threaten him when he cuts you off with a smirk.

"You're gonna what? Laugh?"

"Nohoho! Pehehete, hehelp me!"

"Kid, stay out of this." Tony turns to give Peter a look of warning. You hear Peter respond, but can't make out the words above your own laughter. An instant later, Peter appears behind Tony, and tweaks his sides.

"Ah-what did I tell you?" He yelps, turning around and attacking Peter. His laughter rings through the room not seconds later, interspersed with pleas for mercy. You take a few seconds to recover, before deciding it's probably best that you help Pete.

As far as distractions go, you reckon this counts as a pretty good one.

[pepperoniwhirlwind]

~Honesty Hour~

     I was asked by @lovelynhiddenkittens to do all 150 questions in the Honesty Hour tag! 😮 Thank you, lovely and curious stranger~! 😆 But since that’s a lot for one post, I’ll break it up into chunks of 50 questions so it’s easier for all my blogging buddies to digest. 😊 Starting... now! 😝

1. Who was the last person you held hands with?      That would have to be Alex. He was warming my hand for me because it was ice cold. Though he doesn’t know that’s because I intentionally held my super cold drink for a really long time with that hand, then casually mentioned how cold my hand was so he’d try to warm it... >//> Introverts are sneaky flirts, what can I say? 😆😏

2. Are you outgoing or shy?      Shy, definitely. Though there are alters in the system much more outgoing than me.

3. Who are you looking forward to seeing?      Tyler! 😄 I’ve been staying over at her apartment every weekend this past summer, and always enjoy our movie and gaming marathons. 😝

4. Are you easy to get along with?      I think so. I’m not very easily angered, a pacifist at heart, and a people-pleaser at my core. 😂 So it’s pretty hard not to get along with me.

5. If you were drunk would the person you like take care of you?

     I don’t know, Alex is a sweetheart so he’d probably help, and Tyler cares but she doesn’t do bodily fluids. 😆 So, it depends. And considering I’ve never been drunk, and seem to have too high a tolerance to get drunk without having to rob a bank to fund the sheer volume of alcohol needed, I doubt this problem will ever arise. 👌

6. What kind of people are you attracted to?

     Kind and funny people. 😊

7. Do you think you’ll be in a relationship two months from now?

     I have no idea, but I won’t rule it out. Alex has kinda been cute and flirty towards me lately, so maaaybe~? >//>

8. Who from the opposite gender is on your mind?

     Uh, well, the subject of the last question was Alex, so, him. 😆

9. Does talking about sex make you uncomfortable?

     A wee bit, yes. 😅 I put up a good facade though, but being asexual, sex is kinda... bleeehhh~ for me. e~e

10. Who was the last person you had a deep conversation with?

     That would have to be Tyler. :3 She’s my bestie from my ASL classes~ 💜 We have a looot in common, so we talk for hours at a time, in between movie and game marathons that is. 😆

11. What does the most recent text that you sent say?

     Context: I was spamming Tyler gifs of adorable animals earlier today.

     The Text: “Aaand now I gotta get ready for therapy, so this shall be the crowning gif of adorable goodness!”

     Followed by a gif of two golden retrievers fighting over a tennis ball, with a third retriever (being shoved into the frame by a fourth, offscreen, retriever) resting his head on the two dogs feuding over the aforementioned tennis ball. 💖

12. What are your 5 favorite songs right now?

     This is rather hard... so I’ll just list the songs that I listen to on repeat a lot.

     1. “The Cure” by Lady Gaga

     2. “Insomnia” by IAMX

     3. “Middle of the Bed” by Lucy Rose

     4. “All the Rage” by Allie X

     5. “Wires” by The Neighbourhood

13. Do you like it when people play with your hair?

     Yes. No. Kinda? It depends... If I’ve just had a shower and my hair is clean, I love it. ^w^ But if it’s been a bit and my hair isn’t all that clean I just feel embarrassed if people touch my hair. e~e

14. Do you believe in luck and miracles?

     Ehhh... Depends which alter you ask really. Me, personally? Not so much. My family has always told me our family line is cursed to have bad luck, so if I believed in such things, I guess I’m doomed. 😂

15. What good thing happened this summer?

     I’ve started working on myself and my social life, strengthening friendships irl and online, or, at least attempting to. 😅 Sometimes I’m just bad at not isolating. But this past summer I’ve been spending basically every weekend at my friend Tyler’s apartment and hanging out with her core group of friends. It’s been a nice break from the chaos of the school semester. 😊

16. Would you kiss the last person you kissed again?

     Well, considering she’s on the other side of the country back in my home state, probably not. She was a lovely first kiss, but I’ll leave it at that. 🤭

17. Do you think there is life on other planets?

     With how many planets there are in the galaxy; the universe? Not to mention how many planets within The Goldilocks Zone that share a similar atmosphere to earth within the observable universe alone... How could I not think other life exists? At the very least, in some kind of bacterial form, though, I dare to dream a little bigger. ✨

18. Do you still talk to your first crush?

     Well, I’ve never really had a crush, per se, though plenty of squishes. :3 But my first squish did not turn out well, so, no. :c

19. Do you like bubble baths?

     Yes, especially if I go all out and light candles and play music on my phone. 🕯️🎶😌 However, I don’t do that very often. I take showers mostly.

20. Do you like your neighbors?

     Yeah, they’re chill people. The neighbors with the overly-territorial pitbull that kept us prisoner in our car for hours and broke into our fenced-in backyard to take massive doggie dumps out of sheer hatred for us moved away because their dog kept terrorizing the neighbourhood and was going to get put down if it didn’t stop breaking out to chase children on trikes and joggers onto rooftops. So, the neighbors we have now are awesome! 😆

21. What are your bad habits?

     Sometimes I’m too honest and don’t know when to stop talking, other times I’m so socially anxious I might as well be a feature of the wall at parties. 😂 I also have trichotillomania, a compulsive disorder related to OCD, in which I get really strong urges to pull out my hair sometimes, so definitely a bad habit... Just talking about it kinda... ehhhh... moving on. e~e

22. Where would you like to travel?

     A lot of places. Though Scotland is at the top of my list. Scotland is a huge part of my family’s heritage, and some of my family still lives there. So I would love to visit and spend some time in nature there~  💕

23. Do you have trust issues?

     Yes.

24. Favorite part of your daily routine?

     Well, anytime I get to de-stress is nice. I know wiping down my face with a face wipe always feels nice and refreshing after a day out running errands and attending classes. It’s the little things that are the most help~ 😊

25. What part of your body are you most uncomfortable with?

     All of it. If I could edit my body, that would be nice.

26. What do you do when you wake up?

     Hit snooze on the alarm a couple times, get up, walk to the bathroom... you can imagine the rest.

27. Do you wish your skin was lighter or darker?

     Nope, I’m quite happy with my vampire pale skin, and even my dirty blonde, curly lion’s mane of hair, and my blue eyes ain’t so bad either. I’m not completely hideous, just 97% hideous. 👌😂

28. Who are you most comfortable around?

     Myself. My alters. Tyler. Alex. My Tumblr fam~ 💞

29. Have any of your ex’s told you they regret breaking up?

     No, because I usually cut them out of my life after they break my heart. Some have tried to stay friends with me or become friends with me again years later, but... no. I don’t need backstabbers in my life.

30. Do you ever want to get married?

     Maybe, someday. When the time is right, I’ll know, until then, I’ll enjoy my singledom~ :3

31. Is your hair long enough for a ponytail?

     Yes, it’s in a ponytail right now actually. 😆

32. Which celebrities would you have a threesome with?

     NONE.

33. Spell your name with your chin.

     gtlo nhy (Oh gawd... What a name. 😂)

34. Do you play sports? What sports?

     Mi-Suk used to play on tennis and basketball teams, but our spine is a little too deteriorated nowadays to attempt such things.

35. Would you rather live without TV or music?

     Without TV, hands down. I’d die without music. I bleed music.

36. Have you ever liked someone and never told them?

     Yep. I had a bit of a squish on this kid named Travis in elementary school and never told him. My frenemy told him I had a crush on him, and he never talked to me after that. 😭

37. What do you say during awkward silences?

     I either make a joke or just enjoy the silence. Depends what mood I’m in. Sometimes I’m more introverted and just want to sit in silence or listen to music instead of talk. Other times I just wanna connect with people and I tend to crack a lot of darker, self-deprecating jokes as a way to break the ice, or tension if I feel some.

38. Describe your dream girl/guy?

     I want someone who is genuinely kind, patient, and funny. It also helps if they are neurodivergent like me, and have similar enough interests, sense of humor, etc. to my own. c: Overall, I just want to feel comfortable and safe with someone. 😊

39. What are your favorite stores to shop in?

     I buy food at Fry’s... so... Fry’s?

40. What do you want to do after high school?

     I’m already out of high school, bub. Now I’m in college, and I still have no idea. I have dream jobs, dream homes, dream lives. But none of them seem realistic.

41. Do you believe everyone deserves a second chance?

     Depends on the crime, really. If I hired someone to babysit my hypothetical children, and they forgot to tell the children to clean up their toys, I believe a second chance is in order. If they, however, ditched the job to mack on Paul Puffy Lips next door, leaving my children to starve, I don’t believe I’ll be giving them another call.

42. If you’re being extremely quiet what does it mean?

     It means I’m probably really socially anxious at the moment and would prefer to not be made the center of attention. o~o’

43. Do you smile at strangers?

     Yes, sometimes to spread cheer and joy, other times because I’m worried they’ll think I’m an up-to-no-good deviant or zombified by depression, which is how I feel at least 80% of the time, and worry everyone notices, even strangers, who probably would not assume such things, but that’s social anxiety for you. 😂

44. A trip to outer space or the bottom of the ocean?

     Why not both? However, humans are so preoccupied with space that we’ve only explored 5% of our oceans. I don’t want the oceans to feel lonely, so I’ll visit them first. 💙

45. What makes you get out of bed in the morning?

     Sometimes the looming responsibilities in my life, other times I just don’t get out of bed. 

46. What are you paranoid about?

     A lot of things, but the most pressing concern of mine is that everyone will inevitably leave me because I’m a terrible, horrible human being who doesn’t deserve friendship. 😅

47. Have you ever been high?

     Every day, if I can help it. I have a medical marijuana card and have for a couple years now.

48. Have you ever been drunk?

     No.

49. Have you done anything recently that you hope nobody finds out about?

     No, not really. Nothing is coming to mind. 

50. What was the color of the last hoodie you wore?

     Well, I’m wearing a hoodie now, and it’s gray, with the Nirvana emblem on the front. 😝 It’s my favorite and coziest hoodie of all.

[heartslogos]

seas who could sing so deep and strong [2]

Judge comes out of it slowly. The rest of his orbiter comes into focus, starts to bleed into the edges of his vision, sounds and the ache in his neck and back, the soreness in his eyes, and the throb of his knees. He can hear the soft whirring of the orbiter’s systems, the electric hum of the low lights and screens, the sounds of Ugly and Midas - Kore, too.

He shakes his head a little bit, slowly straightening up and sitting on his heels. He grimaces a bit at the mess he’s made. He’d dragged all of his screens around him - all of them littered with images and half-finished notes done in the short-hand he’s pretty sure only makes sense half the time.

Kore always says he rushes in, but sometimes maybe he hangs back a bit too much. Though that hanging back tends to always fly out the window because she’s right.

When Judge sees something happening he goes.

Judge stretches his arms, feels the pull of his muscles and tendons. His elbows each crack and so does his neck with a satisfying series of probably not good sounds.

He turns over his shoulder and croaks out - wow, how long was he working? - “Hey.”

Kore doesn’t even look up at him. She looks comfortable on the bedding she’d arranged on the floor a few feet behind him, Midas splayed on her stomach. The Kubrow pup looks incredibly excited to be where he is - little paws held up as if he’s flying, tongue hanging open, stumpy tail wagging. Judge imagines that he’d be that excited to be in Kore’s lap, too.

Kore is flicking through his codex. She has more entries, overall, into it, but Judge is more thorough and tends to actually finish his research.

He knows she’s heard him, that she’s paying attention to him because -

Well. She’s Kore. Kore doesn’t ever not pay attention to anything.

It’s like that Old Earth saying.

Kore’s resting heart rate is a panic attack.

“I’m hungry,” Judge says to her, “Could you eat?”

Kore’s finger pauses in the middle of her swiping past a long finished entry on wild Kavats. She turns her head towards him, the brilliant yellow-green of her inner eye seemingly focusing in on him like Ugly’s eyes do whenever Judge presents the Kavat with some new thing to scratch up.

She hums, turning back to the screen and shrugging, “Not that hungry.”

Judge presses his hand to his stomach, “Split with me.”

Kore hums some more, Midas’ paws waving up and down as he squirms over her stomach.

“I could use a nibble,” Kore says, eventually.

“How about a bite?” Judge tentatively presses. Kore tends to forget how hungry she is. Frames don’t feel hunger - along with most other bodily functions.

Judge’s lost count with how many times he’s - uh. Well. Pissed himself in his frame because he hadn’t been able to feel his bladder let go.

Kore’s gone through transference for days that Judge knows of and that’s after waking from the dream.

“A side,” Kore grudgingly concedes.

“Fair enough,” Judge pushes to his feet and wobbles. Kore’s eyes fix on him again.

“Do you want me to get it?”

“No,” Judge raises his arms to his side to hold balance, “I’m good. I probably need to get feeling back in my legs, anyway. Watch my stuff. Don’t let Handsome mess it up.”

“Ugly is one giant mess,” Kore replies, eyes back on his codex screen, “Your ship is a mess pile. It can’t get any worse.”

But Kore jerks her head to the side and one of her beasts of a Kubrow, Valencia - a Sunika Kubrow that’s built like a very small tank - immediately rises up from where she was lying with her head on her paws, and trots over to take Judge’s place in the center of the data mass.

Valencia sits up, ramrod straight, her broad shoulders held back, and her thick chest thrust out, ears at attention.

If Ugly tries to mess with that Kubrow he’s going to be batted aside like a glow-fly, and he’d probably dent the Orbiter.

Judge goes deeper into the ship to the cargo hold. He grabs two water packets - three, on second thought, Kore’s much better at drinking than at eating -, one nutrient brick, and one small half-empty bottle of flavor powder. For a second Judge hesitates between the green and the pink, before settling on the green.

He has a good feeling about the green. And his good feelings aren’t always wrong.

By the time Judge makes his way back up to where Kore is, she’s having a stare off with Ugly, and one of her other Kubrow - her first one, he’s pretty sure, a Huras named Hala - is lying down behind her. Kore’s using Hala as a back rest as she holds her stare off. Judge is pretty sure she’s going to win. Kore’s thousand yard stare has outlasted Helios before.

Helios doesn’t have eyelids.

Helios doens’t even have eyes.

Judge slowly sits down on the bedding next to Kore, reaching behind her to rub Hala’s soft mottled fur. Hala’s ears swivel in his direction but her eyes are focused firmly on his Kavat.

“Handsome,” Judge says.

The traitorous Kavat doesn’t so much as twitch.

The corner of Kore’s lip, on the other hand, smugly curves up.

Judge groans, “Ugly.”

The Kavat glances at him.

Judge makes a shooing motion and the Kavat makes a low, grumpy sound, and slinks off to - most likely - shred something semi-important to sustaining life on this ship.

Kore looks unfairly smug when he turns and hands her a water packet. She cracks the plastic seal on it and immediately starts drinking. Judge was right in bringing a second packet for her. While she’s drinking, Judge puts down the two other water packets between them, along with the small container of green flavoring powder and starts working on peeling the nutrient brick open.

The nutrient brick, itself, is a semi-gelatinous off-beige color that has the texture of what Judge imagines mutagen masses would feel like in the mouth, and a taste similar to chewing on your own tongue.

Hence the flavoring powder.

Kore sucks on her water packet, lightly cupping the silvery packet in one hand and holding up the powder container in the other. She gives it a questioning shake.

Because Kore is, of course, the type of hard-ass who doesn’t use flavoring powder. Ever.

“Green flavor,” Judge says, grimacing at the way the nutrient brick shivers as he slowly unwraps it.

Kore reseals her water packet and puts it down, stripping off her gloves and setting them aside. She opens the container and dips her pinky into the powder. She holds it up to her face, nose scrunched as she looks at it.

Judge gives her an encouraging nod.

Kore touches her tongue to her pinky and immediately recoils, mouth sealed as she screams through her lips, eyes squeezing closed.

Hala and Valencia immediately are at attention, barking and Midas yaps, bouncing on his stubby legs.

Judge bursts out laughing, almost dropping the nutrient brick.

Kore gasps, quickly opening her water packet and taking a huge gulp and then screams through her teeth because that makes it worse.

“What is that?” Kore coughs out, “That’s - that’s - “

“I’m told it’s based off of a fruit from Earth called a lime,” Judge says in between gasps for air.

“That’s - that’s awful,” Kore says, entire face puckered.

Judge grins at her, “So?”

Kore glares at him then dips her finger back into the powder.

“Hand me the damn nutrient brick.”

Judge breaks off about a fourth of it and hands it to her, and she hands him the powder.

They both take bites out of the nutrient brick - and Kore waits for Judge to get a bit of powder on his finger before they both raise their fingers to their lips.

The taste is like a screaming punch to the tongue and brain.

Judge’s eyes squeeze closed and he feels Kore rocking, hitting her shoulder against his. Judge’s toes splay out in his boots before he curls them, scraping his heels against the orbiter floor.

“It’s got a kick,” Judge rasps out and Kore hisses, “No kidding.”

“But it’s good, right?” Judge says when they both finish with their first bite.

Kore nods, “It’s good. Hand me the powder.”

Judge beams at her, “I once let Ugly try it and I’m pretty sure that’s why his face looks that way.”

“Ever consider giving him another taste? Maybe it’d put it back the way he was,” Kore muses.

“Ah, but then he’d make my face look like that - “

“So you admit, he’s ugly.”

“He’s not ugly! On him it’s fine! On me it’d be terrible! Kore. Please stop insulting my Kavat. I don’t say anything about your Charger.”

“That’s because you’re too scared to say anything about her,” Kore rolls her eyes, offering the container to Hala and Valencia for inspection. Both Kubrow whine, confused as to why Kore and Judge are acting so weird about something that smells so normal. “She’s such a sweetheart.”

“She has mandibles and a proboscis,” Judge says, “And you grew her out of a cyst for fun. Of course I’m scared of her.”