#but sure im the fucking charity case

[our-lady-of-mcr]

yet again wondering when ill realize that certain people do not change and are always going to try to fuck me up ):

[narutomaki]

insurance sucks. just tell me in plain text if I can get coverage for this fucking wall and mold. yes or no. not is this than that.

Also to my eyes it reads; we don't cover accidents, acts of God, intentional damages, or unintentional damages, also we will refuse coverage if your landlord is insured

and it's like

WHY HAVE I BEEN PAYING YOU?

[melodic-haze]

omv au where chiori pretends to be an alpha when she’s an omega because she’d def do that and then she meets alpha reader and they date and stuff but she doesn’t tell reader that she’s an omega

and then she goes in heat one day when she’s working at the boutique and reader finds her in the back room and UH YEAH

or a non omv au where she’s just horny

(IF THIS MAKES YOU UNCOMFY LITERALLY JSUT IGNORE ME IM SO SORRY IM BRAIN ROTTING RN IM REALLT SORRY)

Tbf the only things I'm not a fan of when it comes to omegaverse are the whole 'second gender = your purpose in life' thing along with the 'second gender = role in sex' stuff and especially the possession thing like with mates and etc (though that particular point's bc I HATE HATE HATE being tied down 💀💀💀💀💀). Maybe some other stuff too but I never dug deep into it, nor was I really interested 🤷‍♀️ but in this case? Those issues can be rectified by NOT saying anything about them actually 😜 ANYWAY gotta get the 𝓯𝓻𝓮𝓪𝓴 on

She's so stubborn that this is EXACTLY the kind of thing she'd do, painting herself to be some sort of standoffish woman who needs for nothing and has no weakness. She doesn't like being seen as some sort of charity case or someone to exploit or anything, so she probably does so out of necessity

SHE'S SO CAREFUL WITH IT TOO???? I think being in a relationship would definitely throw Chiori off her game. Her forgetting to take suppressants or whatever would be DOOOOOOM for her ass 😭 cuz she DOES NOT want distractions but. Here we are

You find her in the back room and tbh she'd be in such shame, telling you to go the FUCK away bc you weren't meant to find out about this—you weren't even meant to be together for long or even at ALL bc relationships just redirect her thoughts and feelings from her magnum opus in fashion and stuff........but then her actions and pheromones tell the exact opposite, with the way she's trying so desperately to get off but she can't. And when you get close enough, she's clinging onto you, debating whether to push you away or pull you close

Do girlie a favour and help her relieve herself 🤷‍♀️ esp since she'd be SO pent up anyway bc she's not really the type to touch herself often or even THINK about that kind of stuff in the first place, omv or no. So likeee treat her carefully ☹️ no rough sex this time (CRAZY coming from me ik), she needs to cum explosively and not in the way that has her hurting all over ☹️☹️☹️ she needs to be sure you're GOING to take care of her, if the both of you are gonna have this arrangement

[sebsbarnes]

heeyyyy thank u soo muvh for doing my last req i am obsessedd. Im not sure if u can do this one but its juts a thought. tan x reader where they are in high school and the twins kind of just become besties with reader and they are just known as a trio in school and lem and tan are like the readers bodyguards cuz they are so protective if reader is ever in trouble and reader and tan are cushing on each other and its just cute

hi, of course! ty sm for sending requests in i appreciate it! im going to do this bullet point style i hope that's okay!

tangerine high school headcanon

warnings: the slightest! description of someone being a bully

masterlist

okay so i think tan and lemon wouldn't really take school seriously, like they still do well and are very smart but they didn't really pay attention much almost like they were too smart for school

they would sit in the back corner of class and just mess around but honestly the teachers didn't really care because they had good grades

you met the twins due to a class project, it needed to be done in groups of threes and it was your lucky day when the name sorter chose you for the twins!

you didn't mind though having talked occasionally to them in some of your shared classes. they were nice, funny, and smart and so are you

lemon grumbled how he didn't feel like working on it now

"want to come to my house after and we can do it then?"

the twins happily agreed and the three of you goofed off the rest of the period

having spent many hours with the twins you all grew very close and kinda became inseparable in school, you all had the same sense of humor and that drew you to each other

teachers and other students knew that it was no longer the lemon and tangerine duo but now a trio with you

one day during class you desperately needed to use the bathroom and the teacher started to yell at you that you should've went between class period

"if you don't let them use the bathroom i will piss all over your fucking floor," tangerine hissed at the teacher

yeah...he had a mouth even then

and no he didn't pee on the floor

while stood in line for lunch tangerine and lemon overheard some guys talking about you

"there's no way the twins are actually friends with them... such a loser, dude."

"gotta be a charity case situation... the twins are way too cool to be friends with someone like that, almost makes them losers too."

tangerine took his empty tray and wacked it across one of the guys heads while lemon sucker punched the other in the nose

"really guys?" you said disappointedly after waiting for them to get out of detention

your hand went up and gently touched the bruise forming around tangerine's eye

"they were talking bad about you! we weren't going to stand there and do nothing!"

"yeah well now you're injured!"

but they didn't care, you were worth every detention and injury they got for defending you

now tangerine, yeah, he is a sap okay. he'd try so hard to play it cool but he failed miserably

absent from school? he wants to go home. paired with someone else? might as well give him a zero now. overheard someone thought you were cute? hell no. walking next to each other in the hallway? yeah his hand touched yours. no space on the couch in your living room? no worries, he's squeezing next to you. you didn't bring lunch? now his is yours. you were upset over a bad grade? he basically ripped his shoulder off for you to cry on it.

if you were instructed to be quiet during class tangerine couldn't take it. he needed to talk to you at all times so without fail you'd feel the slight gush of wind as a folded piece of paper went flying over your shoulder and onto your desk. you'd open the paper to some absolute nonsense that wasn't dire scribbled in pencil but you'd always pick your pen up and responded and drop the note over your shoulder to him.

what sent him over the edge was you getting a flower on valentines day... yeah that's right you had people wanting to be yours and that bubbled a weird feeling inside tangerine... what was it.

"you have a crush, idiot," lemon thumped him on the head.

"no...no? on (y/n), funny... really fuckin' funny. me? having a crush on them? our best friend? there's no way."

lemon would raise a brow at tangerine, picking at his sandwich, "see how you're trying to convince yourself it's not true?"

yep, lemon was right. of course he was. the day the group project started lemon knew the two of you had a small crush on the other.

tangerine felt a tap on his shoulder, "excuse me, this is for you," a girl tapped him on the shoulder.

tangerine and lemon looked at each other bewildered at the flower being placed in front of him. there was a small note folded up with familiar handwriting

"be mine?"

[certifiedlovergirlsstuff]

I was wondering if you could do a joyce byers x daughter reader or daughter figure where the reader has a bad panic attack and joyce consoles/comforts them? I'm asking all around for this fic. I have really bad panic attacks so i'd like to think of joyce as a comfort.

i don’t typically write for joyce (only in my ST series) but she is such a good mom. i too would like to be comforted by her. takes place pre-season 1. joyce still has her job at melvards or whatever it’s called. also i get bad panic attacks at times it sucks.

joyce byers x fem!reader (platonic) (cw: cursing, slut shaming, harassment, panic attack. also tommy hagen in its self. why i chose to include him, probably cause it was the ‘easiest’ way to produce a PA at least for me.)

masterlist

stupid tommy hagen and his annoying ass face. egging your car, spilling his lunch on you, call you not true names. you’ve had enough of his taunts.

“oh, if it isn’t the walking tramp of the (l/n) house. hey, how much for an hour? heard you were quite pricey.” his obnoxious laugh filled the square. it was only you and him walking down the street, how lovely.

“fuck off, hagen.” not bothering to look his way. gripping your purse strap in a vice.

he scoffed, “oh, i’m actually asking you to fuck me. heard from some of the basketball team your pretty good at the dirty dance. holy praises.” you could hear his feet dragging on the pavement.

you glared over your shoulder at him, flared nostrils and scrunched brows. “don’t you have a girlfriend? pretty sure she’d be fine with your charity case ass.” turning back to see your place of work coming into view.

just as you passed the hardware store a bruising grip latched onto your left wrist and yanked you back, causing a stumble to your walk. tommy hagen was pressing his chest into your back, almost curling over you as his breath fanned the side of your face.

“i’d watch that slut mouth of yours. could land yourself in some real tro-“ you cut tommy off as you twisted yourself and slapped him hard across the face. chest panting with quickening breaths.

“leave me the fuck alone!” kneeing him in the crotch for good measure and dashing into melvards. fast feet carried your further into the store so you weren’t seen from the windows.

“hey hon- you okay?” joyce byers circled the register and walked towards you slowly.

you didn’t realize you were shaking until you could barely get a word out with it getting stuck in your throat. “i- i uh, tom- he har- harassed-“ frantically pushing at loose bits of hair, tugging harshly at your clothes.

“hey, hey.” joyce helped move your hands from the hem of your shirt. “slow breaths. deep, slow breaths.” then she wrapped her arms tight over your shoulders, palms pressed flat between your shoulder blades and running in soothing motions.

your hands clinched to her work vest, fingers curling into the scratchy fabric. your hiccuping breaths were making you light headed and frantic. “in and out. in and out slowly.” joyce said calmly. “you need to calm yourself hon, your heart is beating fast.”

“i- im try- trying.” squeezing your eyes shut. “i know.” a hand slid up to cradle the back of your head.

it must have been only a few minutes of joyce cooing and comforting you before you were calm enough to step away from her hold. “sorry, didn’t mean-“ “it’s fine, hon. i’m a mother, it’s natural for me to parent people.”

you wiped away a few stray tears. “wanna- wanna tell me? about what happened?” rubbing a hand over your bicep. you just shrugged, “boys and stupid rumors making my life hell.” keeping your eyes to the linoleum floor.

joyce licked her teeth, “have you gone to the sheriff? sure that would help, to have an authority figure step in.”

“worried it might make it worse somehow.” picking at your nail beds. “plus there’s no actual evidence, only word of mouth.”

joyce hummed, “well, as the adult and a parent, you should go to the police or even your principal. kids shouldn’t be do that kind of stuff to each other, it could lead to… very harmful consequences.” sounding like she was talking from experience.

“i know,” voice so small, “i’m just scared. a little of going alone to the station.”

“well, why don’t we go after work? i’m friends with sheriff hopper and he’s a teddy bear, he just likes to act like a grizzly.” talking about him with a soft kindness.

you bit into your bottom lip as you looked at her, “that- i would like that. thank you, joyce.”

-

a/n: this will probably be the only joyce request/fic i write. if you request for a character that i don’t write for or haven’t mentioned, i’ll either write for them once or just not at all if i can’t find any inspiration/connection for them.

[2gayy2functionnn]

Don’t say forever- Chapter 4

tw: panic attacks, bullying

This was one of those times. It was totally not cool for him to use embarrassing things about her to his own goals.

She knew one of his goals was to sit with the plastics and as “happy” as she was for him. She wanted to die.

She stomped after Damian a frown on her face as she walked over to hell. 

“Regina!” Damian shouts waving obnoxiously. Regina smirks and beckons them over before saying something to Karen and having her switch sides to sit next to regina and Gretchen. Damian sits and sets his tray down before looking back up at janis.

The short brunette stood there, her arms crossed and a glare on her face. Damian dramatically rolls his eyes before grabbing her jacket and yanking her down to his level before whispering something in her ear that makes her whine and blush before sitting down.

“I have got to know what you keep saying to her!” regina smirks leaning forward. Janis punches damian’s shoulder and mimes silence to him.

“Sorry Regina, blackmail only works if i keep it secret so she continues to do what i want” damian says poking janis’s side who squeaks and slaps his hand. Regina’s eyes widen before gretchen frantically taps her.

“Regina can we talk in the hallway” she practically squeaks out. Regina sighs but stands up and they walk out together. Janis’s eyes follow them confused until a soft voice interrupts.

“gretchen is confused why your eating with us, when regina said you were a charity case and she doesn’t like you” karen says smiling softly to janis as if she’s helping her and not breaking her heart again.

Regina and gretchen return as janis stares forward. Gretchen was right. Why was she here. Regina doesn’t like her, she was so rude this morning. Janis can’t think and she sure as fuck can’t breathe. Regina’s manipulating her again. With her straight blonde hair and straight teeth and straight As and her straightness.

“janis?” damian says turning to his hyperventilating best friend.

“shit janis breathe!” damian says rubbing the small girls back. The plastics eyes all widen comically large as they stare.

Janis shoves damian and claws at her chest frantically trying to stand up. She pushes past damian and runs to the bathroom. Damian and regina close behind.

Janis collapses on the floor in the bathroom her phone in one hand as she calls a number over and over. Regina’s heart sinks as she reads the caller ID.

Mom

Damian and regina coach janis through it, helping her take deep breaths until the only reminder of the panic attack is the lone tear dropping down janis’s cheek.

“oh janis!” damian proclaims hugging the small girl into his chest. He lets her cry into his shoulder without saying anything.

“jay come on. I’ll take you home” Regina suggests softly. Janis sniffles with an unreadable expression on her face as she lets damian help her up.

They walk to the pink jeep together as damian promises to call her later. She climbs in.

*** Regina hasn’t said a word. They drive back two hours early from school, both of them sitting in awkward silence.

Regina pulls into the fancy george turnabout before taking the keys out of the ignition. Janis goes to open the door but it’s still locked.

“open the door” she says quietly. Regina turns to her pulling her sunglasses up on her hair.

“Jay, what was that” regina asks softly. Janis scoffs and yanks at the door.

“Oh now you’re nice again! Fucking bipolar!” Janis shouts crossing her arms.

“Janis i” regina starts before she’s cut off. Janis yells, tears filling her big brown doe eyes.

“no fuck no regina! I lost my whole family and my best friend in what seemed like overnight. Now i fucking see her for 5 minutes then she’s gone again! I don’t know what regina george im talking to and it scared the shit out of me! You have us sit for lunch with you than make fun of me right in front of myself! Just pick a side regina, i can’t fuckinb do this” Janis sobs, finally letting all her emotions out.

Regina listens and watches in shock. Janis was right. She was being a manipulative bitch.

“Your right, i’m sorry jay. I don’t know how to act and it’s killing me and hurting you.”

“just stop!” janis shouts again.

Regina stares at her. She waits for janis to be ready to say something again

“i can’t be hurt anymore. Just tell me what you want or the path you choose.” Janis says.

“i can’t be confused all the time by you, be nice or don’t” she continues turning to regina to hear her decision.

Regina bites her lip as she stares at janis who stares back equally stressed. Regina wants to. She really does. Fuck it. She says in her mind as she lets her hands do the talking.

they grip the back of janis’s neck and drag her into a passionate make out. Which neither girl wants to end.

They stay there in the pink jeep making out in the passengers seat. Janis pushes her anger and hatred back as regina brings her hidden feelings forward.

Things are going to be very different.

AN: hey guys! i’m back with chapter 4. Sorry it’s short i’ve been busy and have long nails i can’t type with. Hope you enjoyed me putting janis through it. Don’t worry next chapter will be fluffy and less taxing.

[the-crow-binary]

Im quite curious about your opinion on the portrayal of the french revolution; I know it was a super complicated political moment with multiple fronts from the commoners wanting better life conditions, the bourgeoisie wanting to get the nobility out of the way (which it's part as to why it cant be directly translated into 21'st century american capitalism analogy 🙄), how multiple nobles supported the revolution for moral values despite going against their families interests (bc social class influences but doesnt instantly determines your morals) and that many revolutionary groups supported the independence of Haití (heck, many members of my countries independence participated and almost got beheaded in the resulting mess. And ad hundred and something years later France would try to invade us lol). What im trying to say behind my ramble here (sorry for that lol) its that im sure nfcv made it a slavery bad black ppl vs white ppl american dilemma without getting into the complexity of it and i say this as a foreigner with basic history knowledge, so i do wanna see your take on it

Which portrayal of the French Revolution? 🙃

I swear this very important Historical event that affected not just France but all of continental Europe and is considered as one of the world's biggest events was just used as background for the characters to fight and be racist. The characters keep throwing around the word "revolution" from all sides, but we don't see shit. Maria gives context in the first episode (there's a revolution, they overthrown the monarchy and declared a republic, they arrested the king...), talking to a group of revolutionaries, and from then on the story could've literally taken place in an imaginary country with imaginary politics it would've been the same.

Oh, what am I saying, there IS one thing. Our motto. 🙃"Liberty, equality, fraternity" 🙃 Yeah it has been thrown here and there... Except that it wasn't our official motto yet. We had the notion of liberty and equality, sometimes fraternity, and it was in the middle of other words such as "friendship", "sincerity", "charity" and "union". There is some people and even some books who used this motto but it was abandoned then taken back later... Just this is a mess lmao but the point is. I cringed everytime the characters screamed "Liberty! Equality! Fraternity!". And while we're on the subject, Richter, at some point, meets three girls during a festival (I suspect one of the girls to be Marianne, who wasn't a real person but the symbol of Liberty) talking about dressing up as Liberty and Equality and Fraternity. And Richter, thinking he is so smart, say that you need to be a man to dress up as Fraternity, because it means "brotherhood" (and the girls go "sisternity then" and don't correct him). Oh, and the writers clearly thought it was very clever too, since later on Annette's teacher (and even the Messiah I think??) will ALSO talk about the motto, saying "liberty, equality, brotherhood". IT DOESN'T MEAN "BROTHERHOOD". I MEAN IT CAN. BUT IN THIS CASE IT MEANS "FRATERNITY". IT'S A TERM TO TALK ABOUT A BOND EXISTING BETWEEN PEOPLE CONSIDERED AS MEMBERS OF THE HUMAN FAMILY. AKA IT CONCERNS EVERYONE. YOU ARE NOT CLEVER, AMERICAN WRITERS.

Also I thought a fucking festival at a time like that where people dress up at the concepts of our not-exactly-official-motto-yet was stupid, and it is. There was no such festival, however, we did have the "cult of the reason". To put it simply: it was a serie of events and civic holidays wich were organized by a group of atheists. In it there WAS an event called "Fete of the Reason"... Where one ACTOR dressed up as Liberty. It was NOT multiple people representing liberty, equality or fraternity.

The fun fact is, the French Revolution was a pretty good occasion for NFCV to promote it's CHURCH BAD mentality. We were taking away the church's power, more people became atheists, anti-christian vandalism and blasphemy was actually encouraged, it was a mess. Paris even ordered to shut down churches at some point, wich did not happen in the end. So yeah, this precise moment, right before the Vendée War, was perfect for the church-haters those writers are. And it ended up just being as bad as the original show, without any nuance... Ok there might be a little bit of nuance because of Mizrak, a guy who served the church and in the end actually team up with Richter and the gang, and it looks like he's there to stay. Emmanuel (the abbott) tries to be complex, but in the end, he is still a God-obsessed man that makes terrible decisions and is not a good representation for the church. So okay, it might be a BIT better than the original show thanks to Mizrak, but it's not saying much.

Another thing. Only the main characters are shown to have a dislike for the church. We don't see ANY of the french people doing anything against the church (but we do hear the church complaining about the revolutionaries, tell don't show y'know), not even talk about it. It's mostly jokes about how haha priests are sexual predators/they can't keep it in their pants (with the occasional "it exploits the people and take their money" line, and by occasionnal I mean once). There IS a few shades thrown at God here and there, honestly I didn't bother remembering the exact lines because they are so cliché and really not that deep. I think Maria is the one complaining the most.

What angers me the most is the lack of ANY ACTION FROM THE FRENCH PEOPLE. It's like nothing is actually happening except vampire killing people and vampire hunting (wich begs the question: WHY bother making it happen during the FRENCH REVOLUTION?). Nocturne literally made the french people the side (oh what am I saying, the BACKGROUND) characters in their OWN REVOLUTION. AND ALL I HAVE TO SAY IS. WHAT THE FUCK. Maria is supposed to be a revolutionary leader but she doesn't lead anyone. We never see anyone do anything outside of the main characters. The french are literal planks, except from those three girls from the festival and villains, they don't even have a voice. At some point the vampire Messiah arrives in town, in plain view, and people are like "OUR SAVIOR IS HERE! OUR DELIVERER!" and I thought the people shouting were vampires, but no, there is humans TOO. ALL TOGETHER. And you have no idea how much I hate that they basically portray the french people as not doing shit and needing someone else to save them 🙃 To do things for them 🙃 And also. That that someone else is not even french themself. 🙃 Even without the Messiah... the revolutionaries we saw were led by Richter (romanian/american/british idk at this point), Annette (Haitian, even if Saint-Domingue was owned by France at the time), Tera (Russian) and, of course, Maria, who's both Russian and French, at least. Those four were doing most of the work while the french people were in their houses cooking baguettes, I guess. And by "work" I mean fighting vampires and night creatures, there was nothing done about the Revolution. Almost like there is NO REASON TO MAKE A CV SHOW ABOUT THE FRENCH REVOLUTION

Oh and I just HAVE to talk to you about Saint-Domingue, and the BLACK PEOPLE ARE OPPRESSED theme going on with Annette. And that's when I'll have to take out this magnificent dialogue again:

"Even these french with their high ideas, what do they know about we've suffered? And what do they care? They're building new world, but it won't be freedom, or equality or brotherhood for US"

This is said by Annette's teacher. Worth to note that before that, in episode 3, she also shat on the French revolution and our motto. Basically, the show portray the French Revolution as being one thing and the slaves in Saint-Domingue having their own other revolution. And not just that, it implies that the French did not care about slaves, and that they do not know what suffering is (yeah, people just start revolutions because they feel like it y'know 🙃). And the anti-white dialogues are portrayed as normal and are even applauded, btw. And it is BUUUUUUUUUUUUUUULLSHIT. MY FUCKING GOD. OH THIS SHOW MAKE ME SO ANGRY.

First off: Only the colonies were pro-slavery. The french pretty much weren't. A "Society of friends of black people" was even created in France in 1788 to fight for the abolition of slavery. People fought for black people's rights during the French Revolution. Books written by black people to join the fight came out. The French Revolution scared the colonies who were very against losing their slaves and it led to Haiti's own revolution (slaves rebelling, killing their owners, burning the plantations... Nocturne at least got that part right). So both revolutions are very closely linked and the slaves might not have rebelled at this point if it wasn't for the French Revolution threatening Saint-Domingue's economics and creating social upheavals.

And what does those shitty american writers remember? BLACK PEOPLE OPPRESSED. BLACK PEOPLE SUFFERED SO MUCH MORE THAN EVERYONE ELSE. LOOK AT THESE POOR BLACK PEOPLE. WHITE PEOPLE ARE SO POWERFUL. THE FRENCH ARE UNGRATEFUL ACTUALLY. BLACK CHARACTER IS RIGHT TO SHIT ON THE WHITE FRENCH WHO DON'T CARE ABOUT THEM.

FUCK.

Oh, and I mentioned the Vendée War earlier... So, fun fact, during the revolution, we have what we call "la Terreur". It's a pretty gruesome period of time during the Revolution that caused the death of hundreds of thousands of people. La Terreur happened from 1793 to 1794. So one year after this first season of Nocturne. 🙃 I'm just saying. It wouldn't surprise me if they used this for season 2. 🙃(I literally do not trust them)

And the vampires... Look the vampires have their own can of worms that I'm not motivated enough to open. I'll just say that, of course, in classic NFCV fashion, the message the show is trying to pass is not subtle at all. They're just evil. All of them. All of the french nobles. Evil evil EVIL EVIL!! NUANCE AND COMPLEXITY ARE FOR PUSSIES.

Also the count of Vaublanc? Annette's ex-owner? This guy existed. And he never owned slaves. He was pretty pro-royalty, at some point he voted against slavery, then later voted in favor of it... but he did not own slaves. But honestly I don't care about that guy much, I just wanted to show that NFCV really doesn't care about nuance. Everything has to be black or white (lol) and that's why we have no human nobility in Nocturne.

Urgh. UUUUUURGH. I SWEAR WATCHING THIS SHOW WAS A PAIN AND THE MORE I THINK ABOUT IT THE MORE PAINFUL IT BECOMES. THERE IS SO MUCH GOING ON IN THE FRENCH REVOLUTION AND NFCV IS DOING JACKSHIT WITH IT. I MEAN IT'S SO MUCH FUNNIER TO SHIT ON THE BELMONT CLAN AND SHOW TIDDIES TO MAKE THE FANS HORNY.

So, my opinion on the portrayal of the French Revolution: CREATE YOUR OWN FICTIONAL REVOLUTION NEXT TIME AND LEAVE THE HISTORY OF MY COUNTRY ALONE.

[jaetyun]

blog reccs.

i'm sure these ppl w thousands of followers do not a shoutout but this isn't a charity case i just rlly like these blogs!! life is too short to not appreciate blogs whose writings styles deserve appreciation

@tocupid

make no mistake this is NAWT just bc it's luan and he's arguably one of my bsfs... we both started this shit tgt and he deserves as much attention as i've gotten if not more

@heesdreamer

now i don't pick favorites cause that makes for parasocial relationships... however if i DID pick a favorite it would be heesdreamer! i'm gonna be fr rn idk their pronouns they just came back from hiatus and those fics r some of the most jaw droppingly delectable things ive ever read and they're probs the only blog i consistently go back to reread their stuff

@ijhyo

you can literally tell how much thought goes into every work and it always pays off so well. for me at least i think i'm the worst at making a strong beginning but every single exposition from him is genuinely so impressive like one thing you can always count on from him is he knows how to make a HOOK

@asahicore

one of the first ppl i started consistently lurking on their blog and each time she releases something new it never fails to impress me! there's such like a cute tender quality to all of her stuff i feel so giddy reading them cause it truly feels like she's describing something that happened to me i didn't know about

@jayflrt

i know everyone on engeneblr (is that the name for it?? enhablr?? idk..) already knows how good her smaus are and don't get me wrong alice knows hiw to WRITE AN SMAU!!! but her written stuff is just as good like the jake spiderman au was my first introduction to her blog. she's also so fucking funny i feel like at some point ive probably quoted a fic of hers i wouldn't even be surprised.

@jaylver

i used to have a ss from win one win me for like over a year that i deleted cause im an IDIOT but that's how much it stuck out as sum special to me GOD i love her writing style. a lot of people don't know how to write dialogue and make their characters say shit that nobody actually says but everything is so natural it sounds like a convo rin overheard and written down that's how good it is

even though i no longer write/read for zb1 i'm morally obligated to say misa @keita-terazono and venom @zerobaseonefics are still some of the most delectable writers here and also so funny and genuine PLEEEASSEE check my zumblr bffs out !!

[threepoint14art]

Ok so first of all i love reading your guys' tags always and forever, second of all @chocottang HIII CHOCOO (please do tell me if tagging annoys you!) You turned my braincell on, you asked such a simple and normal question and now you are gonna get lore'd about spring im so sorry- ok ok so answer here and then i start ranting about all the things ive done to this poor man if anyones interested:

He is not on the aro spectrum he just never really thought about romance for the LONGEST time. Rubbing my hands like an evil fly why would that be? Read to find out

Also while spring himself is not on the aroace spectrum i do present cami, owynn, bonnie and puppet to you humbly, the silliests ever

Basically, as you MAY have noticed, the guy has a lot of burn scars (shocking), that's because when he was little his house burnt down and his parents died and he got super fucked up, he's been in the foster system since he was like 10, no family wanted to take him in because his parents had him when they were super young and thus were disowned. So we start off strong with that, and it gets worse!

I wanted to make spring a little more unhinged because wowzers the sprintrap animatronic is evil, however his chill attitude captivated me, so i decided to make the unhinged him be his younger self, children are cruel adults are scary people in the foster system get treated as "a way to give people who cant have bio kids families" or "charity cases" instead of normal children with a lot of unnadressed issues who deserve a change to grow up with a semblance of normalcy. He was alone and scared and angry at life and thus tended to get into a lot of fights and to stealing stuff and such. Problem kid status + visibly scarred led him to never really finding a permanent home, not that he wanted one, because most of the adults in his life scared him and also wanted him to have a "new" life, AKA forget his parents and accept these new strangers as parents, horrible!

This little kid who is very scared and alone and wishes for nothing more than his parents calming him down again meets 2 even smaller kids and just, projects onto them. He started coping with all the stuff in his head through taking care of children and pretending it was also him who was being taken care of so softly and tenderly, the children being meg and fox. He just starts taking care of them and subconciously growing up really fast to get them the support and whatever they need and then out of literally nowhere hes 18. He's like "oh crap wth" Gets send off to the real world having BARELY graduated from highschool and with some money, he cannot bear the thought of losing any more people and just looks into becoming the other 2's legal guardian and gets them out of the system to live with him in the worlds cheapest house he could find

So what I mean is that he hyperfocused on being a caretaker and getting money and growing up and getting ten thousand things that the thought of romance was not even anywhere near his head, having FRIENDS was nowhere near his head. He had to find a job he had to enroll the other 2 into school he had to find another job he had to make sure their house didn't fall apart by the seams. Also fun fact, the more he grew up the more he realized he is a literal carbon copy of his dad, but visibly scarred! have fun looking in the mirror buddy

In his head, he does not really see himself as a full grown adult even though hes 24, and his weird thought of "adults being scary" still persists even though he himself is one, he doesn't like talking to grown people and that isn't helped by how he spent most of his life with Fox and Meg, he is not used to talking to people his age or older and he was too busy to actually process that romance might be something he wanted when he was just drowning in ten other thousand things already. As he got older and fox and meg also got older and got partime jobs his burden was lessened a lot and he was allowed to CHILL a little

So those 2 idiots in the drawing are vincent and leti,,, they might look like ocs and at this point they kinda are but they ARE based on the bg characters of Camarero and "Novia", they both also have their own can of worms to unpack it's insane.

Spring met Vincent at work, new coworker new hire and then Leti just stopped by sometimes to talk to vincent and he went thought ten billion crisis because "having a crush as an adult is so embarassing i need to be paying taxes"

So TLDR he had his first crushes ever at 24 because at that age he was actually allowed to chill a little and his brain finally had the room to process that romance was in fact, real. He also had to go through the "i like men???????? Im poly??¿¿" thoughts at 24, he shoulda've been at the club/ref

[bunnyloaves]

mean streets posting in 2k23

what if mean streets drove me insane huh,, the streets sure were mean

anYWAYS i somehow liked this more than taxi driver hmm likE man i cannot say no to the most pathetic wet and sopping sad man ive ever seen, hes on the verge of a breakdown in like every scene, he looks like a muppet half the time im legit giggling KJFAHSDF

(how johnny boy is self destructive and uncaring, borderline suicidal with how confrontational he is, like u do not cuss somebody u owe money to in that way if u did not have a death wish for yourself o____o 

and regardless of how much charlie tries to help him out, he just bites the hand that feeds him, and even I felt frustrated with his character by mid film)

i like the religious guilt and christian overtones, makes me kinda sad how johnny is like a charity case for charlie and that sucks for the both of em (it also relates to the opening lines in the movie,, of you only make up for your sins on the streets and not in the church, so yanno thats how charlie atones for whatever religious guilt he’s feeling, helping out this poor guy downtrodden on the streets :(( )

but upon reading thru the tumblr truthers, theres this aspect of charlie’s coddling nature and johnny boy’s rejection of coddling (theres even the question of how earnest that coddling is, cuz when u think about it, it IS self serving, self purifying) back to the rejection, that only puts them both into deeper shit, the more charlie helps, the more johnny boy just retaliates, AND THE NARRATIVE DOOMS THEM, FUCK IM SO UPSET

like they literally cannot make each other better, they only make each other worse wtf, despite the intentions being semi-good

theres also those christian subtext to keep in mind

one (the flames of hell, the matchsticks, the way charlie keeps touching flames thru out the movie (flames are explosive n volatile yadda yadda and so on)) two (the st francis of assisi, not sure what thats meant to represent ngl) three (his christian monologuing tm, likE he’s babbling all about penance n shit when johnny boy walks in, like hello there is no het explanation for that scene wtf scorsese)

ok moving on

like charlie why do u keep vouching for johnny lmaoo, thats so sus n gay, ok moving onto my homo homo truthing

one (the car scene with the gay couple, like o___o uHM johnny boy is literally wearing the same colors as the guy that taunts ppl by asking to suck their dick, and yanno theyre pulled away by their respective partners as well JFASDF like hellO its not even subtext gay, its just textually gay)

two (how johnny boy and teresa wear the same colors, or their color language is the same, which is yellow, and i think that for a movie that uses colors somewhat distinctly, they mUSTVE HAD A REASON FOR THIS, like hello why is johnny boy’s color yellow, the same flamboyant color of the gay dude tm (which imo is self evident flamboyant colors for a flamboyant guy,,, but why is he dressed literally similarly to teresa ASDHFA))

three (the bedroom scene, need i say more, like why r u men in the same bed shuTTUP) 

four (the trash bin scene which was very cute imo like ok look at these baby girls) 

five (the graveyard scene, like ok johnny boy lying on the grave/concrete, like what was going on in charlie’s head at the time hmmm, like maybe just how close johnny could be to being dead and in a grave himself, if it weren’t for his interference siGHS, these men hurt me in ways)

six (the fist fight which was hURTFUL DUDE, HAD ME SOBBING WRITING ABOUT IT, like o___o johnny boy snapping about ‘never hitting him that way again’, then it cuts to him being hit, anD THEN the sudden ‘did i hurt u’, like i am exploding rn,, tHE TENDERNESS WTF, and it just shows how they bring out the worst in each other i cryINGH rn like why does johnny boy just take it, the punches n stuff o___o why is he taking it and latching on :(( )

seven (the red lights entrance scene, im losing my mind liKE HELLO, why is it framed that way?? johnny being his literal penance sOBBING RN)

eight (the rooftop scene, i remember some tumblrina truther out here saying something about how johnny is volatile, like a powder keg, instigating arguments and violence,,, and lets go back to the opening wherein charlie is all like theres two punishments from hell, its the spiritual and physical,, its the flames,, anyways my point is, is that charlie is in the very least drawn to johnny inasmuch as he serves as a means of atonement for him, and johnny biting the hand that essentially sustains him, every step of the way,, lIKE THEY ARE SO DOOMED BY THE NARRATIVE PLEASE IM BEGGING)

but there's this mundane sadness to the whole movie and idk its effective AKDJFJF like it legit made me feel for these characs

cinematography wise, i do like it,, like it's obviously wonky being from the 70s n all but it was shot with intent (and a distinct visual style) and i like that

thE MUSIC THO oh my god does it slap,, ngl the music sells the movie for me AKDJFJ,, also why are like half the songs love songs o____o like hELLO care to explain this?

i liked this more than i thought I would, nice job scorsese, maybe this was the goncharov all along :))

[silurisanguine]

DM scams

Reminder - if you get a dm from a blog that is asking for money for what ever cause (eg i got 'my cat is really ill and needs help') Ask yourself - Do you know this person? Do you follow them?

if the answer is no to either, then it's a scam.

The one i got, followed me, then sent me the dm. Probably saw that i'd recently posted photos of my cat and thought oh this one might work. it talked about how their cat had a mouth abscess that needed vet treatment. That they had raised some funds but needed help. I looked their blog over. Posts dating back a month. It looked...normal enough, except my red flags were flying. The reblogs didnt seem cohesive. the cat posts were random and unless they had more than one cat, the cat in the photos looked ...different. But the main reason i knew it was a scam? The cost of the vet bill. See my own cat had dental surgery recently, had to have 4 teeth removed. Major surgery as some were infected. It cost around £300. This person wanted $700! (around £550) via paypal. So i helpfully sent them a message, just in case....in the very slight case it was legit, offering them advice as i sure as hell wasnt going to send any money to them! I told them dming a stranger asking for money came across as very scammy, which im sure they weren't. But for better results they'd be better off asking on the various Reddit charity groups, setting up a Gofund me as that was more legit and posting a copy of the vet invoice to show cost breakdown (editing out any private details for safety) as that would show people what the cost entailed and would legitimise the request. They were very polite in their response and that was that. Now I always have notifications of people following me and any i'm not 100% sure of, i keep that email and check later. I checked this one. That blog is gone.

Total fucking scam. Always trust your gut instinct, the red flags etc. BUT NEVER EVER donate money on here via dm to someone you dont know!

[f4y3w00d5]

My ex boyfriend argues like you do . He says something that most people find abhorrent and tries to play devil's advocate because he likes the reaction from people, then acts as though anyone who notices this pattern is some sort of troubled youth who he needs to guide. Just so surprised to see a Tumblr user use the exact same phrasing as him, condescending attitude towards women you haven't met online like it's any better when you do it, why don't you get a lesson in class and do real life charity work instead of playing cyber cop on Tumblr for bad faith groups . You look ugly and you're trying to as well because you're one of those shock jocks who pretends that you can Not See .

Your first point. 'He says something that most people find abhorrent'. I personally do not know your boyfriend, nor do I know whether his points are good or not, but let me tell you this. I have never argued for something that most people find abhorrent. I argue for things that most TERFS, most right wingers most conservatives find abhorrent. Its just your group that does.

And I dont do it for the reaction, I do it because I dont like the injustice. But you of course dont understand this, so I shant waste my time explaining.

also uh. i think im a bit young to be guiding any troubled youths im literally the same age as a troubled youth haha

And i'm the one with a condescending attitude? Someone was telling me during what was both a panic attack and a manic episode on my half that i was an emotional manipulator, and that I should go play minecraft. They, and you, are the ones who come talk to me. They havent met me, yet they accuse me of some really shitty things, i just try and explain to them, although i know its useless.

Cant do a lesson in shit cos lessons cost money and i am. A minor.

List of real life charity work ive done

-Helped the kids at less privileged schools learn to read -Do whats called the 'Eat Up' program where we make food for the less privileged kids who dont have lunch/money to pay for lunch -A program where i plant trees to help bring koalas back

among a few others, and some stuff that i didnt sign up for (helping younger kids adjust to the school/help with homework, same with the interntional students, helping out at the primary school i went to after they got flooded and we were the ones who had to fix the flood damage, blah blah blah), and all of this across the teenage years that have already happened. which uh, is not too much :)

And they arent bad faith groups. They just wanna live their lives without discrimination from people like you.

I know im ugly although i have no clue how youd know, and also. Fuck the societal beauty standards. Also all my friends who insist im pretty ig?

Also. uhm. Your last line

'you're trying to as well because you're one of those shock jocks who pretends that you can Not See .'

What am i trying to? idk what you mean by shock jocks? Why is there random capitilisation? Also i have done proper research to support what i say, which is of course ignored by you lot, so I dont believe i'm the one who cannot see.

In any case, thanks for your message! Not sure why you lot are harrassing a random teen on tumblr who wants everyone to be happy despite it being impossible, but you do you! :)

[gayspock]

ok on

ok this isnt a suicidal rant for once. yes it is not it isnt. idk. part of what gets me very upset sometimes is like... i know im not a smart person or whatever. and similarly i know im not very capable of, like, much. but i think thats just all the more reason why i get so fucked off when the like 1 or 2 times im like pretty fucking confident in my own assessment of a situation or my own abilities, and Yet Even Then someone swoops in and tries to act like a patronising git abt it. cuz i dont mind criticism + invite it happily. and similarly i do not blame ppl if there is genuine cause for doubt in me. like if ive historically shown a pattern of incompetence in a specific situation, then sure. and half the time its like idgaf even if NONE of that applies because whatever at this point but

ohhhhh mygdodddd tifds i think its just a case of like whenever someone is like. not even listening. like not even acknowledging you or the things you fucking say to them and going off on their own half fucking cooked interpretation. i feel so fucking invisible sometimes. and maybe thats it thats the problem like even if i fucking account for everything in my head and try to like give it the benefit of the doubt because i know im dogshit at expressing my own thought process directly in absolute fairness and thats fine and i know im not right a lot and this and that and the other but like maybe its just a fucking situation of like . hmmmm deemed kind of unimportant and that inherent bias is always going to like fuck me in the ass like

and this is soo a different thing actually but like its made a tenfold worse when its someone who tries to keep kissing your ass and is like "noo youre soo good at this thing<3 But also! I will never fucking demonstrate any trust in you. I will also talk over you on everything." and i think intelligence is obviously something extremely broad in that sense and kind of a horseshit metric but nonetheless i cannot fucking describe the number of ppl who have tried to butter me up by baselessly calling me some variation of intelligent whilst simultaneously disregarding every fucking thing i say to them cuz they know better. and again theres a difference between that and disagreeing right. or criticism. idgaf if someone disagrees sure as hell. but its like you will not even fucking have a conversation with me properly and you will dismiss every thing i say to instead fit in your own stock responses cuz youre already convinced im stupid and wrong every timeeee. and instead you are the one that consistently fucking assumes the worst of me as a person, with 0 grace. like okay sure you keep telling me this One Thing, when you like repeatedly demonstrate that you do not think that at all and ironically its even more like insulting that you think im that fucking stupid i cannot even assess That Situation.

and maybe im like the crazy cynical and paranoid bitch but half the time its like i feel like people just want to stroke their own god damn ego and im naught but the charity case for that fucking aim like its like you dgaf for real for real but its also like why can people just not fucking be honest and direct with their fucking horseshit and with themselves and with me and quit the fucking . .... blargh im fucking sick of everything all the fucking time is anyone insane right now. walks abck and forth walks back and forth im pacing im the paccerrrrrrrrrrrr i cannot fucking handle fucking anything like this i feel so fucking little as a fucking person and i dont know why im even trying to fucking handle or care about any of it when its insurmountable all of the fucking time and im not getting anything but angry and upset ALLL OF THE TIMEEEE GOD HELP ME CHRISTTTT

[blackvail22]

its not fair that my brain is built this way. it's not. why did i have to be born with such a stupid fucking mind. i hate it so much. i hate that i dont know how to be funny or entertaining. i hate that i dont know how to ... live! i dont know how to fucking live a normal life. all i know is how to be serious and sad and boring and quiet and it pisses me off. i hate that i overthink so much. i hate that i complain. i hate that whenever i say something, it comes across in a way i didnt mean it.

im starting to struggle again, and i hate it. its been like this for about a month now, and it makes me so incredibly upset. i was doing so, so good. is it the medicine? has it stopped working? is it me? what changed...?

im angry. im angry sad. its the type of anger that is swallowing me whole. i feel like i could tear down an entire building... im so upset with myself. i hate that i was made this way, and i hate that i have to live with it.

i dont like myself very much right now. i feel like all of my problems would be gone if it wasnt for me. i feel like i make up all of my problems, if not amplify them to a size that they dont have to be?

im sorry that i can be overwhelming. i try to keep it in my bubble, but my brain doesnt let me sometimes.

im so grateful that he love me. i hope that he still loves me through my bad days, like one like tonight.

his parents like me, he says. they want to have a dinner with us both... i want it to happen a lot, but im anxious about it at the same time. i dont communicate well, especially in person. im not a very exciting person, either. i dont have too many hobbies, and even then, i dont do them consistently enough for me to consider them a hobby. i come from a bad family, and theyre a good one. that terrifies me. i dont want them to see me in a bad way because of that. i also dont want to be seen as a "charity case". i just hope that if and when it happens, it goes well.

i hate that i dont know a lot about myself. i need to list down my favorites and shit and study it to make sure i dont mess up or have a really surface level answer.

i just need a hug

[fiendfremd]

Okay I'm going to post my thoughts on this last year, upcoming year and upcoming 10th year anniversary of making games behind the cut. I want to be as honest as possible so it might be kinda sad down there. You have been warned.

2022 was a weird year for me. I started off strong and things just slowly got worse over time.

I was invited to the Tiny Games Bundle and had a blast making Tomorrow for Mar for that. I'm ultimately sad about what happened to the bundle bc I still think it's a fantastic idea, it just wasn't in the cards.

Next was nano and starting work on Butterblue. At the time this felt like a mistake, I was coming straight off the back of finishing Tomorrow for Mar and I was exhausted and I knew I couldn't finish it in time and was aiming for a demo.

In hindsight, this was one of the best things I could have done. Honestly, I just really really want to make farming sims crossed with VNs and I knew if I pushed that off any longer I'd be dying. So even though I only finished a demo and the response was pretty lukewarm, I'm glad I finally started on the projects I've been wanting to make for so long.

After nano I had a month off which was good because I then jumped into Otomejam with a team!

Aaannddd this is why this is behind a read more on my secret personal blog lol.

The jam ended with me having a mental breakdown as I sat crying on my garage floor sobbing unable to move as my neighbors were drunk karaoke-ing Country Roads.

I did not have a good time with this jam. It started fine but then took a bad turn for the worse at the tail end of development. I was told "its okay to ask for help!" And then when I asked for help I was ripped into. The whole process was extremely mercenary-esque and that just... isn't really what I was looking for.

I'm in a lot of pain and whatever it is I'm looking for with my creative passions, I'm not getting it from working in groups in gamejams.

I like making games. I like making bad games. I like expressing myself.

I'm not able to make games on a professional level. I am not a professional gamedev, despite the fact that I work on them like 3 hours a day.

This has continuously clashed with a lot of the gamedev spheres I've been in. So many people have approached me and its later come out that they saw me as a "charity case". That if I "just marketed myself more, polished off all these edges and be normal for one day" I would be a Viral Hit.

Uh. I can't be "normal" for one day. The stuff that makes my work so unique is also what fucks it up from finding any sort of mainstream success. And sometimes I'm okay with that. But a lot of times I'm sad not bc im sad about not being "successful" but because so many people see me as that "Charity Case".

If I ever work with a group again for a gamejam I will be ultra clear that at the end of it we will have: 1 finished game, 3 comments, and maybe 20 notes across the social media landscape. That's it. That's what is going to be made. And expecting more than that will make you disappointed and I sure hope you don't end up blaming me!! 💦💦💦

After otomejam I just. Imploded. I worked on butterblue but at a much slower pace. It was good to work on something just to keep my mind off of everything.

It's been hard this year. Coming into 2022 I thought I had a great lineup for the year, and I was able to finish all my projects (with butterblue pending) but it was extremely painful getting there.

Not only was "online gamedev activities" painful this year but "offline gamedev activities" was the worst yet.

I tried to restart my local gamedev club and during one of the meetings there was this guy just GLARING at me the whole time. I had to physically bring the textbooks I was cited in to get any sort of foothold in the room. These meetups aren't for creatives finding like minded creatives. It's for entrepreneurial tech bros to have dick measuring contests.

I once read that the definition of insanity is doing the same thing and expecting different results. People show you who they are. My biggest flaw is that I don't believe people when they show me who they are. I think "they can't possibly be that bad...." or "well I did say something stupid, that's why they yelled at me". I keep choosing to go to these same gamedev groups and finding the same people who are the same type of dismissive toward me and I keep surprised pikachu meme-ing. At this point, I've been through 4 different state wide gamedev groups that share roughly the same handful of people.

There's no place for me in the community that exists.

It's hard and I've been fighting it, thinking "well certainly one of these has to work". But it's been 10 years since I first started making games, and 6 years since I started attending local gamedev clubs in my area. I have searched high and low. Through valley and mountain. There is no place for me.

Maybe that's a death sentence. I certainly felt that way the last few years and was so desperate to make anything work. But I'm still alive, aren't I? I'm still here making games.

Maybe it's a death sentence. But it's not a quick death. It's a slow death, carried out over the years by progressive isolation.

But maybe that's also just life.

So as of now, I've stopped trying. I dropped out of all the gamedev clubs I've ever been in. (Save for one I'm waiting until after magfest to leave) Next year... idk. I don't know what my plans are, outside of finishing butterblue and working on a friend's game.

I want to chase things that bring me joy. If everything else is fucked beyond recognition, I at least want to have fun doing it.

I love making art and creative works. I love farming sims and I love strategy games. And there isn't a place for me at any of the "gamedev" tables but I'll make do anyway.

[lasciviess]

hi ess! im sorry if this is a frustrating question but it /gen and not intended to be combative. and if you don't want/don't know how to answer it then please don't feel pressured to.

i was just wondering if you will ever publish dnf content again for free if we never hear anything re: the allegations against dream and/or the supposed defamation case that dream is pursuing. i genuinely don't believe that dream will ever address this situation again, whether there is definitel proof that he is innocent or guilty, or if he wins or loses his defamation case.

i just don't think he'll ever say anything about it beyond what he's already said. i don't see a world where we as fans are ever updated about these cases-- if they even exist. and if they do, it may be years before anything comes to fruition. i was just wondering if you will continue to solely post all your works on patreon, given we don't hear anything else about the situation from october.

i have read your response many times and complete respect it. but i wasn't sure where you stood if we are in this "limbo" state without definite answers from here on out.

....oh my god i forgot to post on this fucking blog again didn't i. i literally tweeted out an updated thread like two days ago, i'm so sorry i forgot to put it here. i'll post a version for here as soon as i reply to your ask.

i will say now though, since you mention it directly, that i do think we'll eventually be given more information. this isn't something he can simply wish away and never address again, and multiple other parties (ccs and those who have made legitimate claims about amanda's story) have confirmed that there is, in fact, legal action pending, hence their silence. and there's not a world where this just goes away; fuck's sake, people were screaming at technoblade's bereft father in chat during the charity stream dream hosted for sarcoma research. if it doesn't go unmentioned there, it won't go unmentioned anywhere.

for now, it's only been a month. the last civil case i was involved in took a month just to prepare and file, and it was a fairly straightforward issue over a refused refund after faulty service. it took another two to just get on a small claims docket in a fairly small county. it will take time, but there is no way in hell this just fades into obscurity.