#but i hate that i still want to defend her after she refused to listen to me and basically called me a charity case

[our-lady-of-mcr]

yet again wondering when ill realize that certain people do not change and are always going to try to fuck me up ):

[picturejasper20]

Steven Universe as a character is someone who has been mischaracterized and flanderized over the years, to the point people who aren't into the fandom or haven't watched the show believe that mischaracterization to be a fact rather that a product that comes from memes and jokes

The truth is that Steven often fights in the series when it is needed, usually by fusing with someone else like Connie or Amethyst since he is still developing his powers in the original series. He doesn't cry when he has to fight back or defend himself, with exception if the person attacking is someone he considers a friend. Because, yes, for a 14-15 old teenager it isn't fun having to do something like that and it can be traumatic.

He also doesn't start to cry the moment someone refuses to change their mind or is being mean. He often isn't afraid to be sarcastic or call that person out. He didn't cry when Aquamarine mocked him in ¨Stuck Together¨ nor when Jasper didn't apologize for poofing Amethyst in ¨Crack the Whip¨

However, what we see is sometimes him blaming himself for not being able to help people that, more often than not, have been hurt by Rose Quartz, his mother, in some way. After Season 3, Steven fears a lot that he is going to become like Rose and he is going to hurt people the way like she did.

In general Steven deals with an Atlas complex in the show. He feels like he has to fix his mother mistakes and deal with ¨what she left behind¨ even when Rose wanted for him to be his own person as seen in the tape she left for him as it was revealed in the episode ¨Lion 4: The Alternate Ending¨.

Steven also defines his identity a lot for being to help other people and fix their problems. He believes that he has to be ¨useful¨ for others. So when he believes that he failed to help someone, that may lead him to think that he isn't living up to his ¨purpose¨ or that he is a failure as a person.

In reality, he isn't that much different from other hero protagonists from other animated shows. Those who are kind and emphatic and willing to listen to other people and give them a second chance if the person changes their ways. You probably like an animated show that has a protagonist like this. (Who was probably taken inspiration from Steven if the series came out after SU).

The main difference, i think, is that Steven goes a bit more than those protagonists do when it comes to listening to other people, understand their motivations and give them another chance if they regret their actions. A lot has to do with how he is aware that his enemies (usually gems) act the way the do because of the system they were born into rather ¨they are evil just because¨. He gets that their motivations come from the system that hurt them or lead them to believe that their actions are justified.

Another common mischaracterization is that Steven becomes super buddies with every person he helps...when this isn't always the case. There are some occasions that Steven shows discomfort around people who he has given a second chance. Just because he gives them a second chance doesn't mean that he immediately considers them close friends, maybe allies at best.

A good example of this is the gif above of Steven's interactions with White Diamond in ¨Homeworld Bound¨. White Diamond touches Steven very close to where his gem is- which makes Steven distressed since in his battle again White, she ripped his gem out to prove that Pink was still ¨alive¨. In most of the episode Steven shows to be very uncomfortable around the Diamonds and Spinel, to some extent. They bring him bad memories, which is the main reason he has been doing everything to avoid going to them to ask for their help until this point in Steven Universe Future. He even almost accidentally hurts White's gem by smashing her head against a pillar when she lets him control her to talk to himself. This being result of a intrusive ¨vengeful¨ thought.

I wouldn't say that Steven hates the Diamonds,but- he doesn't want to be their friend neither and wants to avoid in general because he feels nervous and bad around them. It's something like ¨I'm glad that you are changing but i don't want to be associated with you. Please, i would appreciate if you kept your distance from me.¨ dynamic.

On last point, Steven is someone who usually pushes his feelings down in certain situations and buries them down, which has led him to have strong emotional outbursts in bad moments. He usually prefers to ignore his own problems and take priority on others. Again, this comes a lot from his desire to be useful and be needed, making him trying to ignore how he feels about certain people and pretend that he is doing fine.

This explains why we don't see him lash out that much to others in the original series, and, why he feels so frustrated and angry in Future, since all that anger and negative feelings can't no longer be ignored as they used to and they are having a negative impact in Steven's mental health. This, of course, isn't meant to be seen is a healthy coping mechanism. It is in fact potrayed as something pretty self-destructive for Steven, as a huge flaw of his, that over time he comes to learn that it isn't the best way for him to deal with his problems.

These are some of the most common misconceptions i have seen about Steven's character online. I could go in more depth with some of them but i think the points should be clear enough. This could be considered a general analysis of how Steven is as a character and how he operates, leaving aside more specific things that can be covered in other posts.

[literaila]

it's not my fault

gojo satoru x fem!reader

summary: tsumiki and megumi get into an argument

warnings: sibling stuff, fluff, two oblivious (stupid) parents

last part | next part

*

year five.

“couldn’t you say something nice?” tsumiki is asking megumi when you walk in. “she just wanted to—“ 

you set your bag on the table, just barely able to make out their words. 

they were... quiet in the car, you realize suddenly. but you hadn't thought that anything was wrong. megumi's typically burnt out after school, and tsumiki waits until you all get home to start telling you about her day. 

but it only took a minute of you running back out to the car to grab something for it all to fall apart. 

megumi groans. “i don’t even know her.” 

you round the corner, just stopping there so you can observe. neither of them seem to notice you, or your wide eyes at both of their stances. the matching scowls on their faces. 

they look so similar that it shocks you just briefly. 

tsumiki has her arms crossed, shaking her head. “you still don’t need to be mean about it.” 

“i wasn’t mean.” 

“yes, you were. you told her to leave you alone.” 

“that seems like a pretty straightforward request.” 

“everyone at school thinks you’re mean,” tsumiki is pouting, looking dishearted at his reaction. typically, megumi will agree with her just for the sake of it. “and i always have to defend you, even if it’s true.” 

megumi sighs, shrugging. he's got his satoru-type scowl on, and even though he looks disinterested--as usual--you can see it when his frown deepens, and he shifts away from tsumiki. “well, stop then. i don’t need you to come to my rescue. i don’t care what people say.” 

“well, i do! you’re my brother.” 

“that doesn’t mean you have to treat me like your responsibility. i can handle myself.” 

“you’re always alone at school,” tsumiki disputes, almost whining at him. “if you were nicer—“ 

“i’ve never complained—“ 

“okay,” you turn the corner, brows already raised. “there’s a lot of raised voices going on. you two are going to wake up the neighbor's cat.” 

tsumiki is pouting at megumi and he just rolls his eyes. both children stand facing each other, standoffish in the living room, arms crossed. 

usually, they fight about what movie to watch, or who got to sit in the front seat last. 

but those fights don’t typically involve yelling. 

sure, they’re both sensitive about their childhood. about living here and being with you and satoru. they'll bicker about being little, megumi hating it when tsumiki mentions either of their biological parents, and tsumiki hating it when he refuses to listen.

but even then, tsumiki goes to hide, and megumi just shuts down. 

this seems… different. 

a part of you rationalizes that they're both exhausted from school and getting to that age where their priorities differ. 

you don't have any siblings, but you quarreled enough with nanami and haibara back at school to know how these types of arguments work. 

and unless one of them admits that they're wrong, it's never going to end. 

with that thought in mind, you put on a learned smile, standing between the two of them so you can look back and forth between the two children, observing both of their very closed-off body language. 

it's a little cute, honestly. they both look very different, but their matching stances and glares are worth much more than biology. you almost want to stop them to take a picture. 

satoru would do it if he was here. 

“tough crowd,” you say, feeling the tension between the two. “what’s going on?” 

“nothing,” they both say, at the same time, but megumi with an attitude and tsumiki with a sniffle. 

really, you should find a book about expressing emotions. you and satoru are teaching them far too much about denial and avoidance. 

you make a mental note to look it up later. 

you blow out a breath. “yeah, well, i heard the yelling, but i’m missing some context."

you look between the two of them, but they’re not looking back. both sets of eyes are focused on each other, identical glares bouncing off of each other. they could be communicating in some secret language and you would have no idea. 

in fact, you can basically see the thoughts they're forcing towards each other on their faces. 

“hey,” you poke them both on the forehead at the same time, trying to get their attention on you. “talk to me. what happened?” 

they both remain still as statues for a moment, not bothering to consider the question. 

but after a moment, tsumiki blinks, and her frown increases, which makes megumi roll his eyes--like he already knows what she's going to say, and doesn't care. 

“megumi was mean to a girl at school,” tsumiki says, finally looking at you with big doe eyes. her face is pained, confused, and worried. 

and honestly, she could ask you for anything with that look and you'd give it to her. 

but megumi sighs. “i wasn’t mean.” 

“you told her not to talk to you!” 

he looks to you, less pleading but confident. “if i want space, shouldn’t i tell someone that? isn't that what you say?” 

you open your mouth. “well, it depends, megs, you can’t—“ 

“you’re always mean,” tsumiki’s eyes are filling with tears. she looks at you too. and usually, she would apologize for interrupting, but not right now. “nobody at school wants to be around him. he scares everyone, and they don’t believe me when i say that he’s nice.” 

“tsumiki," you begin, face softening, "you shouldn’t—“ 

“that doesn’t make me mean. why would i want to hang out with people who don’t like me?” 

you turn, “megumi—“ 

“they would like you if you weren’t always saying mean things!” tsumiki tells him, her sweet voice rough with frustration. the tears begin to slip from her eyes. 

and you can feel it when megumi moves another inch away, wanting to flinch back from her sadness the same way you do. 

“i don’t want them to like me,” megumi corrects, shaking it off. “i don’t care what they think.” 

tsumiki frowns even deeper, eyes growing wide. “what about what i think?” she asks him.

“are you going to stop hanging out with me?” 

“maybe.” 

“how? we literally live in the same house. your room is down the hall from mine.”

“guys—“ 

“i’ll ask dad to move rooms. he won’t mind.” 

“oh, sure. because you’ll be able to avoid me at the dinner table—“ 

“why are you always—“ 

“guys.” 

they both look to you, glares immensely misplaced. their mouths are still open, ready to interrupt each other at a moment's notice. 

you look between them, finding matching pictures on either side. clearly, they're both upset about something different. and still, you don't really understand, but it doesn't seem like they're going to explain anything further. 

why would they when they can just keep arguing?

you purse your lips, closing your eyes for a moment, trying not to laugh. 

really, if they wanted you to take them seriously they shouldn’t have grown up to be so cute. they shouldn't look like that. 

harsh, angry breaths fill the room as the two of them wait for your instruction. you should probably be able to fix this problem immediately--you could by sending them both to their rooms and forcing them apart--but you'd rather talk this through. 

plus you don't want either of them to think too hard about any of it. you hate it when you fight with satoru and take a break, just to linger in that anger like a quicksand you can’t pull out of. 

“okay,” you say, once there’s a moment of silence. “i know you’re both upset.” 

“i’m not—“ you look at megumi and he stops, little frown on his little face. his cheeks are red in indignation, and he's got clenched fists. you can tell that he wants to say something, maybe to you, maybe to tsumiki, but he won't.

you ruffle his hair. “it’s fine to be upset with each other,” you tell him, looking to tsumiki, her face entirely sad. “but going back and forth isn’t going to solve the problem, okay? and neither is saying anything just to hurt each other's feelings.” 

“but he just—“ you shake your head, wishing with everything in you that you could go get one of satoru’s blindfolds right now. 

it physically hurts to look at them, they're so precious. 

you are a terrible mother for finding this moment slightly amusing. to be fair, you spend far too much time with satoru, and deflection is a family trait. 

you finger tsumiki’s hair, pushing it from her eyes. “should we take a break?” you ask them both. “or do you want to talk about it now?”

“break,” megumi says, immediately.

“talk about it now,” tsumiki answers, at the same time. 

for two people who are so alike, they sure think differently. you want to smile at the very predictable answers but refrain.

“okay…” you pause, thinking. “tsumiki, why don’t you tell us why you’re upset? megumi will do the same, and then we can take a break, or keep going.” 

they both glare at each other. 

“and nothing mean," you add because it feels necessary. 

tsumiki sniffs. “everyone at school says that you’re cruel,” she tells him, a devastating pout on her face. “and i don’t like that. you’re my brother, and i want people to like you like i do.” 

you both look at megumi, waiting. 

he's silent for a moment, processing his sister's words, but then he’s got a scowl on his face. “i don’t care what they think, they’re all stupid anyway—“ 

“megumi.” 

he looks at you, pleading blue eyes. you can see that tsumiki got under his skin, but you shake your head. 

“see?” tsumiki complains, voice high-pitched. “he’s always—“ 

you wipe away a tear, nodding. “i know, sweetie, but it’s his turn. you can go next.”

you turn to megumi, wanting to laugh at his annoyed face. “don’t call your classmates names," you say, giving him a look. "it's your turn. tell tsumiki why you’re upset, megumi.” 

he sighs again, looking towards the floor. he kicks at the hardwood, shaking his head. “i don’t like it when you baby me. i don’t need you to defend me, or try and take care of me at school. i’m fine.” 

tsumiki swallows, not saying anything. 

you look between the two of them, trying to read the complex emotions of your almost-teenagers. unfortunately, they're closed off from you, and you can only guess. 

both of your hands rest on one of their shoulders, squeezing. “do you both want to answer? or should we sit down for a bit? i can make a snack or something. it might be good to cool off." 

you say it mostly for yourself, because, honestly, any second you're going to break. 

the two children look at each other, communicating telepathically, and then they nod.

“you should treat everyone respectfully,” tsumiki says, as an answer. “even if you don’t care what they think, you should still be nice.” 

megumi frowns. “if i don’t want to talk to someone, i shouldn’t have to.” 

“but you just told her to go away. she probably feels bad now, and—“ 

“i don’t even know her," megumi interrupts, brows furrowing. 

okay, so maybe you should've separated them a couple of minutes ago. 

“chiyo's my friend!” 

megumi rolls his eyes. “just because she’s your friend doesn’t mean she has to be mine.” 

“but you were mean.” 

you look between the two of them, megumi annoyed and tsumiki frustrated. 

“okay, kids.” you breathe out, wishing you had a brother to fight with, just so you knew what it felt like. just so you could be a part of this argument. “i know you’re both mad, and you disagree. that’s fine. let’s take some space, breathe, maybe i can—“

“just because you think i was being mean doesn’t mean that i was," megumi blurts out, like he can't hold it in.  

you pause, mouth opening. you're about to say something, but you don't get the chance.

“if everyone doesn’t like you,” tsumiki argues, “then it’s because you’re mean.” 

“maybe they just suck.” 

“they don’t suck. this is—“

and then it all breaks down.

“well well,” satoru peeks his head around the corner, white hair a shock to all three of you. “look who’s falling apart without me.”

you sigh immediately, a hand against your temple. of course he would come in at the worst moment possible. “satoru, please go back out the door. i'm sure you forgot something at the store."

the two kids look at satoru, neither one of them happy to see him. there's a similar fire in their eyes, and you know that if he hadn't shown up they would've continued arguing until you pulled them apart. 

he walks over to you, slinging an arm across your shoulder. his grin is far too self-satisfactory. "what'd you do?" he asks, tapping you. 

"i didn't do anything," you tell him, "leave them alone. they're working it out." 

"by yelling at each other?" 

you push his arm off of you, glaring. "you just walked in at a bad moment--" 

you say something else, telling him to get out again, and satoru laughs back at you, asking if you missed him, and neither of you seems to realize that the two kids are just staring at you.

megumi and tsumiki share a look, like this is a typical occurrence (it is), then shake their heads at the same time, like an echo of each other. 

their faces have cooled, scowls fading as you and satoru bicker. 

tsumiki sighs and megumi scratches the back of his neck, and for a moment, they both avoid each other's eyes. 

but eventually, you and satoru look back at them. 

"i don't want to talk anymore," megumi tells all of you, beginning to walk away. satoru tries to grab the back of his shirt to keep him in place, but megumi just shrugs him off. 

and then he walks down the hallway to his room and closes the door gently, clearly no longer bothered by anything tsumiki said. or maybe too bothered. 

but, you think, at least he didn't slam the door. 

you can recall yourself telling satoru to give him space, to let megumi deal with his emotions as he pleases before you force him back into the spotlight, to apologize or hug tsumiki, or... 

you blink and look back at her. she's still got a small pout on her face, but her eyes have relaxed, as red-rimmed as they are. you know, and tsumiki knows, that she's really just worried about him. trying to protect him in her own, sisterly way. 

and, really, there's not much you can teach her about that. 

so you just smile gently at tsumiki, wiping away some moisture from her face. "just give him a bit, hmm? let him think." 

she sighs but relaxes into your hand for a moment, her shoulders slouching as she gives into defeat. and then tsumiki shrugs at you, agreeing despite herself, and walks over to satoru to give him half of a hug. 

it's not a moment later that she follows megumi and walks down the hall, escaping to her room. you both listen as her door closes.

"wow," satoru whispers, shaking his head. "you did a number on them." 

"they had a fight about school," you say, nudging him. "i had no part in any of it. i just walked in." 

he wraps two arms around the back of your neck, smiling eagerly at you. "so what you're saying is, it isn't your fault?" 

he's mocking himself, and the reoccurring events that happen when you leave him in charge. which you've sworn to never do again, by the way. 

you scoff. "when i get home you've started all the problems," you tell him, shaking your head. "they're fighting because you instigated something." 

"we're communicating." 

"whatever."

satoru quirks a brow at you, eyes just barely visible behind his glasses. "the parenting books aren't doing much for you, are they?" he asks, rhetorically. 

"you realize i caught you with those in your room multiple times right? i know you read them." 

"you'll never prove it," he says, smiling maliciously. 

"and neither will your parenting skills." 

satoru snorts, nudging his nose against yours in an odious way. "clearly, you guys can't last a day without me." 

"it wasn't a day," you argue, shivering at his touch. "more like an hour. you just went to the store..." you pause, tilting your head at him. "and where are the groceries, by the way?" 

satoru looks away, hands tapping on the back of your neck, humming innocently. "oh, i might've... slightly misplaced those." 

"satoru." 

"i got distracted--but it's not my fault. there's a new kakigori shop down the block." 

you look at him blandly. 

satoru, because he cannot be trusted, smiles sweetly at you as he places a peck on your lips, as a sort of apology. 

obviously, you don't return it. not even in the slightest.

satoru hums as he pulls back, already knowing that he's won. "so, i'll just get dinner..." he says, grinning at you. 

you roll your eyes but wrap your hands around his neck, letting a little smile fall across your face. 

*

you and satoru are sitting on the couch when you see megumi creeping down the hall, on his tiptoes, purposefully not looking at the two of you. 

it's been an hour or two, the silence echoing across the house almost a bad omen. 

but you decided not to bother either of them. considering the fact that you still don't know why they were really fighting, or why they didn't just talk about it like they usually would, it seemed like the best option. 

and also, satoru shouldn't be involved in any conflict resolution. he'd probably suggest wrestling it out in the backyard. 

still, as you watch him pass by, you lean away from satoru, your legs completely tangled in his. you stretch your neck to watch him, relying on satoru's hand around your waist to keep you steady, but he's too far down the hall for you to see where he's going. 

but a moment later, you hear him knock on a door, and then a small, quiet voice telling him to come in. 

you relax back against satoru, already grinning proudly. "see? i fixed it." 

satoru laughs, his breath soft against your temple. "you didn't do anything. megumi just felt guilty." 

"well, i taught him that." 

satoru noses the side of your head. "mmm, i'm pretty sure i did." 

"of course you didn't." 

he shakes you a little, as a punishment for your words, but sighs. "what were they fighting about anyway?" 

"megumi was mean to one of tsumiki's friends, i think. i missed... pretty much all of it." 

"who?" 

you frown. "chiyo?" 

satoru snorts a little, and you shift to look at him, raising your brow. "megumi mentioned her."

you turn even more, eyes wide. you poke his cheek with a finger, and then wave for him to continue.  

satoru groans, fingers trailing through your hair. "he said that he overheard some girls talking about 'miki." 

"behind her back?" 

satoru smiles, a bit sadly, nodding. 

"oh." 

"yeah, oh." 

you frown. “what did they say?”

satoru licks his lips, watching your eyes as you concentrate on him. “dunno. megumi wouldn’t tell me.”

you roll your eyes. “of course not,” you say, sighing. “and he didn’t tell her?”

satoru winces. "okay, so… maybe i told him not to,” he whispers, like a confession, voice going a bit high at the end. and then he laughs at your annoyed expression. "what? i didn't want her to get sad." 

you shake your head at him, tsking. 

you could scold him for protecting tsumiki, but you know that you probably would've done the same. 

so you just turn back towards the hallway, resting your head against his shoulder. after a moment, satoru nuzzles himself into your neck, humming against your skin. 

it's a very unpleasant feeling. 

"do you think i should go get them for dinner?" you ask him, quietly. 

"nah," he kisses the side of your neck, looking down the hall with you. "give them a little while." 

and it's about twenty minutes later that the two siblings walk back into the living room, megumi's lip quirked at tsumiki, and tsumiki beaming back.

after all, you and satoru have taught them well. 

*

next part | series masterlist

[honeybeefae]

Perfection (Azriel x Reader)

KINKTOBER DAY SEVEN: BODY WORSHIP

Summary// After a month of tormenting yourself about your body, you finally decide to confess to your mate what you are feeling. You expected him to roll his eyes or dismiss it as silly, but you should know the Spymaster will always surprise you. 

(A long time coming but I hope you guys enjoy this. It’s the comfort I need, and I hope you all know how beautiful you all are, no matter what that silly voice says to you.)

WARNINGS: 18+, smut, body worship, body insecurities, soft sex, dirty talk, pet names, multiple orgasms

It was early in the afternoon as you chatted with Feyre, leaning against the counter and mindlessly washing a cup. Both of you had just finished with training, and afterward, you had brought up a topic that had been giving you some grief, hoping your friend could give some insight into the situation.

“What are you talking about?! You are stunning, Y/N. I would kill to have the body you do!” Feyre said, looking at you as if you had grown two heads. “Has someone said something to you? Did Azriel?”

“No, no!” You almost shouted, shaking your head vehemently. “Azriel seems…happy. A little distant but he’s got stuff he’s been busy with. It’s just a me thing, ya know?”

She put down a towel and grabbed both of your hands, squeezing them while giving you a look of sympathy. “I understand, I do. We can all be insecure about things but what I find most hopeful is talking about it, especially with my mate.”

You looked away and sighed, chewing your lower lip. It wasn’t that you didn’t want to talk to him about your issues, but you were worried that if you brought it up, maybe he would see what you saw. Azriel had never given you any indication he didn’t love your body the way it was so you already felt like you were overreacting, but you couldn’t help it. You hated looking in the mirror nowadays.

“Y/N,” Feyre called softly, making you look back at her. “Talk to him about it later tonight, okay? Even if it’s just a small sentence, at least get the conversation going.”

Her words settle in your mind for a minute before you nod slowly and pull her into a hug. As the two of you got back to work, you went through a game plan for tonight. Azriel was sure to be tired after his mission, but hopefully, he would have enough time to listen to your qualms and ease your mind. If only a little.

You were in the bathroom, staring at yourself in the mirror when you heard the door to your bedroom unlock. It was late, most everyone already in bed, but you had stayed up to wait for your mate. He quietly walked into the room and began to strip off his clothes, noticing the light coming from the bathroom door.

“Y/N?” He whispered quietly, slowly pushing the door open to peek in. You turned and gave him a small smile, nodding for him to come in. “Why are you still awake? I thought you would have been asleep by now.”

“I had something I wanted to talk to you about.” You confessed, playing with the material of your thin nightgown. “It’s something that’s been bugging me for a while…”

Azriel’s face went from confused to concerned in an instant, not even bothering to remove the bottom half of his outfit as he stepped further inside. “What is it?” He asked, his voice lower than before. “Has something happened? Did someone hurt you?”

“Oh, no, nothing like that.” You assured, gazing up at him. He was always so protective of you, ready to defend your honor or cut down anyone who would even think to harm you. It was the kind of devotion most people could only dream of having. 

He waited for you to elaborate, but the words were stuck in your throat, refusing to budge. The courage you had been feeling was fizzling now that you had to articulate your worry and the longer you stood there, the shorter his patience grew.

“Y/N?” He prodded, eyebrows drawn together tightly.

You sighed and turned to face the mirror again, your eyes immediately picking out everything that you thought was wrong or ugly. It was causing that nasty voice in your head to grow louder, and you suddenly wanted to run and hide under your covers, to shield yourself from everyone.

Large, warm hands ran down both of your arms tenderly. He appeared behind you in the mirror, his wings slightly lowered, as he watched you tear yourself apart. Azriel knew exactly what the look meant in your eyes, could feel your pain through the bond as if it was his own. It reminded him of the way he saw himself and his scars.

“Oh angel,” He murmured, rubbing small patterns into your skin. “Is that why you’ve been hiding away?”

A nod was all you could muster as you attempted to hold back tears. You didn’t know how he figured it out so quickly. Perhaps you were right about what you saw, and he was just waiting for you to say something first. You felt the humiliation rising in your stomach from just how pitiful you were at the moment.

But your mate was having none of that. Azriel turned you around and tilted your head up to look at him, his thumb tracing the outline of your lips as the soft candlelight sparkled on the unshed tears in your eyes. He couldn’t understand how someone like you, who shone brighter than the stars above, could ever doubt such beauty. 

It pained him that you could even question it. 

“I know what it’s like to hate things about yourself, Y/N.” Azriel swallowed, glancing at the scars on his hands before going back to you. “More than most.”

Both of your hands immediately went up to cover his own, stroking them softly as you had done hundreds of other times in the past. The corner of his lips tugged into a small smile at the sweet gesture. 

“But trust me when I tell you that I have never seen someone as enchantingly beautiful as you.” He said earnestly, brushing away the tear that was falling. “The way your hair shines in both the sun and moon, the way your nose scrunches in your sleep, I fall more in love with you every day. My entire life…I have never known such happiness or yearning until you showed up.”

His words were wrapping around your heart like a comforting blanket, shielding you from the doubt that had been plaguing you. It made you want to weep from just the pure love that was flowing between the bond. 

“I can’t go into your mind and throw these thoughts away but, if you let me,” Azriel whispered while dipping his head down until your lips were a hairsbreadth away from each other. “I want to show you just how beautiful you are.”

You knew if you said no that he would understand, that he would cuddle you for the rest of the night and whisper sweet nothings in your ear until the sun rose. He would only do what you were comfortable with, but while a small part of you wanted to hide away again, you wanted to get past this. You were halfway there, and with the look in his eyes, you couldn’t resist him.

“Please.” You swallowed, squeezing his hands that were still holding your face. “Show me.”

He closed the distance between the two of you and kissed you gently, as if you would break underneath his fingers. Your eyes fluttered closed while you pressed closer into his body, moving your hands to wrap around his neck. 

The voices in your head were trying to dig into you, but it was like Azriel’s mere presence was shielding you from them, making you only able to focus on the taste and feel of him. 

“I love you so much.” He confessed against your lips, his hands running down your body slowly. You gasped when you were suddenly lifted into the air, wrapping your legs around his waist instinctively.  “You have no idea how long I waited for you, Y/N.”

Azriel pushed the door open with his foot as he led you to the bedroom. The large windows were still open, white curtains billowing in the wind as the stars and moon shone brighter than you had ever seen. He kissed you once more before gingerly laying you on the bed.

The air was growing thicker by the second as he crawled over top of you. You raised one of your hands to cup his face, but he stopped you, intertwining your fingers while pushing it back by your head. 

“Keep it there, angel.” He said before kissing you once more, his tongue sliding in easily to tangle with your own. You let out a pretty moan at the sensation, your thighs rubbing together in pleasure as he let go of your hand to start toying with the straps of your nightgown. 

“Azriel…” You whispered, turning your head to the side as he started to make his way down your neck while the straps fell easily down your arms. He smiled against your skin at the sound of your voice, the tingles it sent down his spine at how you were already pleading for him.

“I promise I will take care of you…” He mumbled against the valley of your breasts, pausing to listen to your fluttering heart. “But first I want to enjoy what utter perfection you are.”

You felt your stomach and heart flip at the sheer honesty of his words, looking down to see him staring at you with nothing but love. It made the moment reach a new high as he sat up straighter to cup your breasts in each hand, massaging them with his calloused fingers. Your nipples started to harden under his ministrations, your sex becoming even damper.

He bent back down to tease the tip of your right nipple, covering it in his spit and biting the nub until you let out a small cry of pain and pleasure. 

“Do you know how much I dream of these, Y/N?” Azriel growled as he switched sides, his fingers pressing harder into your skin in an effort to control himself. “I feel as if I can never take my eyes off of them, the way they make your outfits tighter or when your nipples harden from the cold air. It makes my mouth water every single time.”

“I-” You tried to respond but the longer he continued to tease you, the harder it became to speak.

Azriel was never this vocal during sex. Occasional grunts and teasing words were normal, but he had never lavished you with this much attention, this much praise, and you were drowning in it. 

By now your panties were soaked as were your thighs. The chill of the night was causing your entire body to be raked with shivers of anticipation, but your mate was nowhere near done with you yet. His body went lower as he abandoned your breasts in favor of your stomach and thighs, biting and nibbling his way until it felt as if he was trying to mark every inch of you as his. 

“Stars above, I cannot get enough of your body.” He groaned into the night, pulling your legs apart so that you were exposed to him in the most intimate way. You knew how wet you are, sure that you were already dripping onto the satin sheets, but for the first time in a long time you didn’t try to shy away from his gaze.

And he noticed, sending a smoldering look that was filled with both lust and praise as he ran two fingers down your folds. The featherlight touch had your hips raising slightly to try and get more friction. 

“Az…” You sighed while wiggling your hips. He licked his lips and withdrew his touch in favor of throwing your legs over his shoulders, shivering as the bare skin of your calves rubbed against his wings. 

“Shhh, I’ve got you mouse,” Azriel promised while nestling between your thighs. “I’ll make you feel good, don’t worry.”

You had barely risen up to see what he was doing before the feeling of his tongue against your cunt sent you falling right back into the covers. He explored every crevice of you, letting the unique taste of your excitement explode on his tastebuds as he took his time.

Both of your hands fell to grip the bed below you, already feeling like you were going to float away from the pleasure. Azriel’s fingers tightened around your thighs as he flicked the tip of his tongue over your clit swiftly, holding you in place as you cried out his name.

His eyes were dark, darker than you had ever seen, as he watched you over the top of your sex. Your eyebrows were furrowed, hair messy, and your mouth in a perfect O as he drank down every bit of wetness he could get. 

“Yes, yes, yes, please!” You moaned as the hot coil of pleasure started to coil in your lower abdomen. He moved away from your clit so that he could tease your hole, both of his hands moving from your thighs to grab under your ass so that you were practically suffocating his face.

“Let go, Y/N, let me taste this beautiful cunt.” Azriel grunted into you, going absolutely feral on your dripping pussy. He went back to your clit and started to alternate between sucking and flicking, his cock leaking through his leathers as your voice grew higher and louder. “Give me everything.”

It only took a few more moments of his unrelenting attention to make that coil snap, your orgasm ripping through your body like a hot star. Your voice cracked at the end of his name from how hard you screamed, juices gushing onto his face and the bed below as you ground against his face. 

Azriel was more than happy to let you use him, committing the visual of you right now to memory. He didn’t slow down until your body melted into the sheets, gingerly removing his hands from your cheeks and slithering back up your body.

Your eyes were hazy, as well as your mind, as you clumsily reached for your mate and kissed him passionately. The taste of your sex was still on him, but you could care less, teasing the hair on the back of his neck as you twirled your tongue lazily against his. 

He was so caught up in the kiss that he didn’t feel one of your hands move from his neck to the tops of his wings, his entire body jerking when your soft fingertips moved against the membranes of the skin. 

“Tonight is supposed to be about you…” Azriel whispered though he made no move to stop you. You gave him an innocent smile while trailing down, down, down, tracing tiny patterns as you went. 

“I just wanted to return the favor.” You teased, feeling his hardness pressing against your hip. “You know how much I love to touch them, to taste them.”

The visuals and touches were already pushing him close to the edge. And so, with the training of an Illyrian warrior, your mate snapped himself back into line and used his shadows to pull your wandering hands back above your head. You immediately pouted, but he shook his head, opening your thighs back up for him as he held you prisoner.

“Nice try, little mouse, but I want to focus on you.” He chided while using two fingers to probe your entrance. “As much as I love the look and taste of you, it’s the feeling of your tightness that drives me wild.”

Your eyes widened when he stuffed those two fingers into the hilt without warning, moaning and squirming at how sensitive you still were. Azriel watched your every reaction with rapt attention, moving in and out at different speeds and strengths to find what made you feel the best.

He used his other hand to untie the top of his pants, freeing his cock and immediately fisting it as he played you like his favorite song. You could hear just how slick he was with his own wetness, your face flushing when he hit that spongy spot deep inside you.

“Fuck,” Azriel snarled, his balls heavy with the need to release as you suddenly squeezed around his fingers. “You are driving me insane, Y/N. You’re going to be the death of me.”

His words were only making you hornier, your hands fighting against his restraints as he hit your button with every thrust of his fingers. Another orgasm was quickly growing, faster than you could vocalize, but he knew. He always knew.

Azriel made sure to clench the base of his cock to prevent him from cumming too early as he pushed you into another orgasm, biting the inside of his cheek as you clenched around his fingers needily. 

“Azriel, oh gods!” You moaned as your eyes rolled back into your head, your body going completely fuzzy from the euphoria of his actions. He barely waited until you were finished before he withdrew his fingers and lifted you into the air, his shadows disappearing.

“I want you to ride me.” He growled, sitting against the headboard, so his wings didn’t get crushed as he placed you on his lap. It took you a moment to understand him, your muscles feeling like jello, as he waited patiently. “I want to see every inch of your perfect body swallow my cock.”

You didn’t need to be told twice as you reached down to line himself up with your hole. It was going to be sensitive, but as you started to sink down and saw his face turn into one of pure rapture, all of your pains went away. He stretched you out wonderfully, your pussy taking him in until you bottomed out.

“Ahh-” Azriel moaned, gripping your hips to resist the urge to piston in and out. He was already close, and when you gave an experimental bounce, Azriel swore he would cum right then. “Ride me, Y/N. Take what’s yours.”

Each of your hands gripped onto his shoulders as you began to bounce and grind against his dick, your tits rocking with every descent as you threw your head back in pure pleasure. He watched you with hooded eyes, drinking in the sight, before attacking your neck and chest with kisses and bites.

“So beautiful,” He purred into your shoulder, helping you move with him. “Every inch of you is amazing.” 

One of his hands moved to your lower back as your moans grew louder, just the feeling of his cock throbbing deep inside you making a third orgasm grow. You raised your head back up and grasped his face, crushing your mouth against his as he started to top from the bottom.

His mouth was hot against your own, nipping your bottom lip as he pulled you chest to chest. Azriel moved his lips to your ear and started to whisper praises of all kinds to you, sucking your earlobe as he called you his “pretty little whore”.

And as your rhythm started to falter, he was quick to flip you around onto your back, one of his hands gripping the headboard behind you as he rutted into you with everything he had. It felt like he was going to split you in two, but that was the last push you needed, your entire soul shattering into a million pieces as you screamed his name.

“Azriel!” You yelled, back arching off of the bed at the same time his wings flared widely, his own deep voice joining yours as he emptied himself inside of you.

“Oh fuck, Y/N.” He sighed as his own orgasm took his breath away, his body tingling from his head to his toes. You could feel him leaking out of you from just how much he had cum, but it only turned you on more.

He waited for a moment before pulling out, watching his cum go down the crack of your ass and onto the bed with a tired smirk. You tried to regain control of your breathing as he fell beside you, watching you lovingly.

“I think you just set a new record for me.” You joked breathlessly, turning your head so that you could look at him. Azriel smirked while brushing his knuckles down your sweat-soaked face.

“I’m more concerned with how you’re feeling.” He said softly, making your heart melt. You turned fully towards him and gave a small kiss to his nose, gazing at him with utter adoration.

“I’m much better now…and that’s all thanks to you.” You cooed, your eyes growing tired. “Thank you for everything, Az. I love you so much.”

Azriel pulled you into his body and kissed the top of your head, mumbling into your hair, “I love you too.” As you started to fall asleep in the warmness of his embrace. After a few minutes, when he was sure you were asleep, Azriel looked to the sky and said another thank you to whoever had gifted you to him.

He would never be able to repay them for such a precious, beautiful mate like you. 

[trumpkinhotboy]

Lean on me

Pairing: Twin Brother!Nick Nelson x Twin sister!Reader

Type: Request (thank you so much!!)

Genre: Angst that ends with a lot of fluff

Warnings: Sexual Assault situation. Although the details aren't of extreme nature, it can still be a hard thing to read for some people, so be careful <33

Rating: 13+ (because of SA)

Word count: ~ 4600

Requests: Open! For Heartstopper, twilight wolfpack, chronicles of narnia and harry potter

A/n: I was really inspired for this fic and it took me quite some time to write it. I hope you will enjoy protective brother nick nelson and the fluff with the Paris gang as much as I do. If you have any requests feel free to message me !!

A/n pt.2: Please don't come for me for my summary, I fucking hate writing those xoxo

*gif is not mine!!

Summary: The reader goes to a party without her twin brother, Nick. Through different circonstances, she ends up dancing with someone who might have not rightfully earned her trust. The situation quickly escalates to horrible heights. She will have no other choice, but to learn how to defend herself, and how to lean on the people who matters for her.

Your heart is racing, your eyes are burning, and silent tears stream down your face. You rest on the threshold of the door you've just exited from. You can't grasp and even begin to process what just happened. You look up, hearing your name being called from afar. It feels like you're in a different dimension. Everywhere you look, reality seems distorted by some filter. Finally, you focus on your mother's face. She's sitting in her little car, window down, waving at you. Automatically, your body starts walking toward the car, but mentally you are elsewhere. In a dark corridor up in this horrible mansion. Trapped.

_

Your heart beats in a thumping rhythm as you cross the threshold of the mansion. Music is blasting out at an alarmingly loud volume with the place already packed. 

You try to calm your breathing and to remember you were invited and belong here as much as anybody else. The few people you cross paths with wave at you. You smile back, trying to look confident and relaxed. The image of collected cool. 

Even though there's actually a weight dropping in your stomach. 

You are, after all, Nick Nelson's twin sister. He has a certain 'popular kid' reputation that was mostly passed on to you by association. You are both known for being nice and popular kids. Although you definitely are more lowkey than your 'rugby king' brother. So, even if you aren't sure these people are your crowd, you couldn't refuse when you had been invited to some guy's end-of-exams party. 

It wasn't rare for you to be invited to events like this. Although, it was one of the few times your brother didn't join you. Ever since he started dating Charlie and got closer with the Paris gang, you could see less and less of him at these kinds of gatherings. That's why tonight, instead of being here with you, drinking lukewarm punch and listening to questionable music as some alcoholized teens were being unleashed in a mansion worth ten times your house, he was hanging out at home with his friends. You would much rather be with them, but they were Nick's friends, and even though they were nice to you, you always felt like the annoying sister trying to tag along in her brother's friend group.

That's why even when 95% of you wanted to turn back around and escape that terrible party, you took a deep breath in and let yourself be swallowed by the crowd of people.

10:15pm. You had been here for an hour, and it did not get better. The cup of punch in your hands was sticky and smelled incredibly weird. No doubt because someone had dumped in a bunch of mixed liquors. Your friends were all hanging around. Either dancing or flirting with some questionable-behaving young men. You couldn't help but look at your phone about a thousand times in the last twenty minutes. You thought about calling your mother. You knew she'd come to fetch you, but then what? You'd go back home? Seeing Nick and all of his friends having a jolly old time while you had failed to have a good night on your own? No, thank you.

You loved Nick to death, but sometimes, seeing how liked he was proved to be incredibly difficult for you. You always felt like an impostor. He dared to be himself, and people liked him anyway. You weren't so sure you'd be met with the same welcome if you dared step away from the facade you had carefully built all these years. 

Maybe that's why you accepted to dance with someone you didn't even know. You did see each other around a few times but never actually spoke. He seemed nice enough, so when he reached out a hand and offered you to dance, you drank a sip of your horrible drink and joined him on the crowded dancefloor without question.

He was entertaining and invented goofy dance moves to make you laugh, but all the while, something felt off. You felt like you were being watched. Sometimes, you'd see his gaze over you as if he was looking at someone else. Each time you'd try to look in that direction to see who he might be looking at, he'd find some clever way to focus your attention elsewhere. After a few songs, you were both out of breath, sweaty, and hoping for a break. You were about to invent a creative excuse to get away when he offered to get some water. You hesitated, trying to look around for a friend, but none were in sight. 

"Come on, we'll get some water and air if you want to. I know a spot." His expression was kind and seemed genuine. That's why, again, you followed him even though some small part of you screamed that you shouldn't.

The feeling in your gut turned queasy as he led you through dark corridors. The once kind smile that graced his features seemed to turn smug as you headed deeper into the house. You finally reached a little room far away from the agitated crowd. He opened the door, inviting you inside. "Are you coming?"

Your feet were rooted to the ground, the feeling in your stomach spreading to your entire body. This felt wrong. 

"Uhm, no. I think my mom will be here soon. I should go." You took a step backward, trying to put some distance between the two of you. Trying to calm the instinct that screamed at you to run.

"Oh, come on. Don't you want a glass of water?" 

You only stared at him, not daring to respond, too scared to fall into this trap he layed in front of you. You knew water would not be involved if you entered that room, and he seemed to get that too, "We had fun, didn't we?" the change in his tone made shivers creep up your arms. Gone was his facade of the innocent boy. He now looked like a snake trying to lure in his prey.

"Yeah, but now it's time for me to go. Thanks." 

He stepped towards you, making you fully back into the wall. "Please stay. It's my party, you know. The least you could do is stay a little longer with me."

You looked around, noticing his arms had crept on the wall on either side of you. 

"Please get your arms off," you demanded. You tried to make your voice sound assured but failed to hide the quiver in it. He noticed it, and the glim of rotten confidence in his eyes shone brighter. He had you exactly where he wanted you.

He trailed one finger up your arm, your stomach tying in knots at the touch. "You know, I've seen you around a lot. You're Nick Nelson's sister. People talk about you. They say you're stuck up. You've never had a boyfriend or anything, am I right? I like girls like that, so nice, so pure."

You almost threw up on him, the allusions making you feel nauseous. You couldn't, and wouldn't, hide the disgust filling your eyes. You looked around, hoping to see someone turn up. Praying for someone to come, but it seemed you were out of luck as the corridor stayed empty.

His hand went up in your hair, and you held your breath. Terror like you had never felt before paralyzed your body. "The guys bet you wouldn't get with me, but I think we have potential together. Am I right? We could head in that little room together and see what happens." 

You felt the hand on your waist slowly slide down your hip, tugging you closer. 

"Get off of me!" you exploded as you pushed him back as hard as you could. He hit the door behind him quite hard, the doorknob digging in his back. You made a headstart to get away, but before you could get further, his hand grabbed your wrist, tightening his grip until he had you wincing in pain.

He gritted his teeth, ambers of rage dancing in his eyes. "Oh, come on, don't be like this. Stay here with me, and we'll have fun." He pulled you backward by the collar of your shirt, and you heard the fabric rip with a distinct sound. He pressed you tight on his chest. You could feel every part of him pushing hard against your back. He gripped your hips while his other hand fumbled with your chest. His foul mouth on your neck. 

Refusing to give up, you gathered all the self-defense knowledge you had and stepped on his foot as hard as you could, hitting him with your elbow in the stomach at the same time. You put all your strength in the blow as if you were trying to pierce him through. You knew you cut the air from his body with the sound he made. His arms loosened up for a second, and this time, when you started running in the opposite direction, nothing stopped you. 

Running as fast as you could, you looked back for a second. Unable to resist the reflex to confirm you weren't being followed. Whipping your head to the front, you couldn't dodge when someone suddenly exited a door on the side. You crushed into them with blunt strength, almost sending you two toppling down. 

"Oi! Watch where you're going- Oh, Y/n. Are you okay?" 

The voice sounded incredibly familiar, and your gaze focused for a second. Sai, one of Nick's good mates, was staring at you, worry digging down the corners of his mouth. 

"Uhm, I- I'm sorry. I have to go." You couldn't stop and risk getting caught again, so you started running, leaving Sai looking at your disappearing form.

You fled outside, already texting your mother. You hid until you saw the familiar form of the family car. Sprinting towards it, you climbed in as fast as you could. 

"Well, someone's in a hurry to come home." chuckled your mother as she headed towards the exit. "The party wasn't fun?"

Forehead resting on the cold window, you couldn't say a word. If you were honest, you could barely register what your mother said. All you could feel was his hands on you. His lips on your neck. The phantom sensations gave you the horrible feeling that he was still grabbing you. That you were still trapped up there. 

Your mother's touch on your arm brought you back to reality. "Are you okay, darling?" Even the soft touch on your arm was enough to make you shudder. "Y/n, did something happen?"

Your gaze connected with hers for a split second, but you willed the fear in your eyes to disappear. To go back to a dissociated gaze. Allowing nothing to show.

"I don't want to talk about it now," you mumbled while covering the tear in your shirt with your hoodie. You needed to comprehend what had happened before you could say something. Even if you wanted to, the words were stuck in your throat.

Your mother stayed silent for the rest of the ride, although you could feel her gaze on you a few times. You felt like she'd say something until she faced the road again without adding a word. 

When you finally pulled into the driveway, you made for the door. You wanted nothing else but to disappear into your room. Your escape was halted when your mom grabbed your wrist, stopping you in your tracks. You winced at the pain it inflicted and the reminder it brought. The look in your eyes was one of undiluted terror.

Her face turned white as a ghost's. "Y/n, I will give you your space for now, but I want you to know and understand that we will discuss this."

Your house was filled with music and happy voices. You could hear through cotton-filled ears someone call your name but didn't stop. When you slipped into your room, you stood in the dark and looked at your wrist. The red mark on it was already turning to a soft purple. A whimper escaped your mouth as you sunk to the floor.

You cried and cried and cried. The adrenaline had left your body, and the walls you had built around you to survive had been torn down. With a hand on your mouth, you tried to maintain your sobs to a minimum volume. 

What the actual fuck was all you could manage to think. 

Catching a glance of yourself in the mirror hanging on your wall, a wave of disgust ravaged you. In the darkness, like glow-in-the-dark marks, you could see the print of his hands on you, the sloppy marks he left on your neck. You felt disgusting. You needed to wash this off now. 

You headed for the bathroom, trying not to attract anyone's attention. You were about to grab the doorknob when the door opened on a surprised Tara.

"Oh my god, Y/n, you scared me! I didn't know you were here," she exclaimed with her usual cheerfulness. 

You stayed silent, feeling like you had been caught red-handed. Shame crept on your cheeks.

In a second, she analyzed the state you were in. The tear on the collar of your shirt. Your puffy eyes, your red cheeks. "What happened to you? What happened to your shirt? Are you okay?" 

Her sweet concern was all it took for you to tumble into tears again. She helped you back to your room, supporting and hugging you tight. You babbled incoherently about what had happened. You just needed these horrible words to be out of your system. You needed this unbearable reality out of your head, needed the constant litany of words to stop. 

Tara listened to your whole story and managed to understand through your sobs. As you finished, out of breath, she convinced you to let her get Nick. You dreaded it at first, so scared to see his reaction, but the once-in-a-while seriousness in Tara's tone managed to persuade you.

You heard her going down the stairs and waited in silence. You held your breath. The house was utterly silent as if it was also holding its breath. Then, it erupted, and all you could hear was someone climbing up the stairs at an alarming pace. Your door opened on a whim, almost digging a hole in your wall with how strongly it went flying back.

Your twin brother was standing on your doorstep, his chest going up and down quickly. He didn't say anything. He just scanned you from head to toe before reaching out his arms. Engulfing you in a tight embrace, he rocked you back and forth.

"Tell me," was all he said, his tone hoarse and hard.

"I was anxious and bored, and this guy asked me to dance. We did, and then he offered to get some water and air. I followed him but felt this grip in my gut. Felt like something was off. He led me to a dark room. I refused to go in and said I had to go, but then he backed me into this wall. Saying stuff about what other people thought about me and about some bet he'd made with his friends. I- I tried escaping Nick, I really did, I promise. I kept my distance, I told him to go away, but he wouldn't. I pushed him and tried to make a run for it, but he grabbed my wrist and started touching me. I managed to defend myself and get away. I ran into someone. I think it was Sai. I stopped for a second but couldn't tell him anything, so I ran again and hid until Mum came to pick me up."

The silence in your room was deafening. His whole being was at a standstill. Nick wasn't known to be a violent person. Quite the opposite, but you felt like that was about to change.

"Show me where he hurt you." 

You extended your wrist, the mark gone even darker than before. 

"Anywhere else?" he reluctantly asked.

You couldn't, and wouldn't, show him where precisely but managed to wave your hand towards your neck and upper body. Shame once again invaded your cells. His eyes filled with despair and so much rage. He hugged you tight again. "I'm going to kill him."

You whipped your head up. The look in your brother's eyes was one you had never seen before. Immediately, guilt flooded your thoughts.

"Nick, you can't get involved in this. I'm so sorry I got into all this trouble. I don't want it to affect you at school. I shouldn't have followed him. This is my fault."

He looked at you incredulously. As if you had just said the dumbest thing he had ever heard. 

"Y/n, you didn't get in trouble. Someone assaulted you. You are not at fault here. Do you understand? Because I really need you to." He tightened his grip on you, his cheek on the crown of your head. "I don't need you to pull some Charlie number on me."

"A Charlie number, uh?" you heard a familiar voice speak up. 

Charlie's head peeked from your door. The face of comfort and reassurance. "Can I come in?" You nodded as he made his way to the bed. "Although I'm not sure what exactly he's referring to, I'm pretty sure he's right. You shouldn't feel guilty for something someone did to you, okay? Especially for something like this."

You saw the hint of pain flashing in his eyes and remembered he had experienced something similar. 

He reached a hand you immediately grabbed. You had loved Charlie since that first day he came to your house to meet Nellie. There was something about him that always made you feel safe and comfortable. His presence here meant a lot to you. "You okay?" 

You still weren't precisely grabbing the heaviness of what had happened. But the support you were shown helped you manage the whirlwind of emotions you were feeling. You nodded feebly.

"What do you want to do?" finally asked Nick. "Can we do anything for you right now?"

You confessed you did not want to be alone tonight. You dreaded being left with your thoughts, scared they would swallow you whole. "I just want to feel safe," you whispered.

The words were like a dagger to Nick and Charlie's hearts. They both felt so guilty about not being there to protect you. What happened tonight brought them back to the beginning of their relationship. When Charlie had been through the same thing you just did. It awakened so many unpleasant and painful memories in their hearts.

"Of course. We can stay with you all night," said Nick with a kind smile, and you knew he meant it.

He offered to watch a movie, knowing that was your thing when you needed comfort. He felt that nothing he could do would help you heal from the experience you just had, but he'd do anything in his power to make you feel better. Your eyes light up at the suggestion, and he couldn't help a loving smile from lighting up his face. 

"The gang is still down there. If you want, I can ask them to leave?" suggested Charlie. "Even I can go home if you would rather be alone with your family. That'd be totally understandable."

If you were being honest, you would love for them to stay. The more, the merrier, and Nick's friends were such a cheerful and caring group. You knew they would be supportive. You hesitated, on the edge of saying yes. 

Nick felt your hesitation and put a hand atop Charlie and yours. "We can ask everyone to leave if you want to, no problem. But if you feel comfortable and want them here, I know they'd love to." 

You finally admitted you'd love for them to stay. Charlie went downstairs to fill them in. Leaving you in the room, still wrapped in your brother's arms. Both of you weren't ready to move just yet.

"If you want them to leave or need anything at any moment, I want you to come straight to me. Is that clear?" You nodded. "And while they set everything up, I have to tell Mum. She's worried sick, and rightfully so." 

You nodded once again, knowing she deserved to know. Still, you couldn't help your stomach from twisting in knots at the thought of this thing spreading out. 

Always so observant, Nick noticed how scared you looked. "Please, trust me, let me handle this. You don't have to worry about a thing. Just let me deal with it. You can lean on me." You mumbled an 'okay' as he kissed the top of your hair. 

An invisible promise to protect you forever.

The gang all split up to help make you feel better. Elle, Tara, and Darcy helped you clean up. You didn't want to be alone. So when you looked anxious to step in the bathroom, they all suggested they'd sit down in there, waiting for you. They were incredibly caring and supportive. Acting like this wasn't out of the blue and odd. You knew Nick and Charlie had filled them in, but none dared to say a thing. Their respect for your privacy and light chatting were both things you were incredibly grateful for. In the meantime, Tao and Isaac prepared the living room for the movie. They went all out and built a fort of pillows and blankets with snacks, ready to welcome you when you were done.

As for Nick and Charlie, they were dealing with the situation. They told everything to your mum and contacted Sai to find out what he'd seen. He immediately admitted seeing you running away from a corridor, shirt torn up, with tears running down your face. He found the guy in question, still catching his breath, and pieced two and two together. He even got him to admit the whole thing. He questioned some guys and even confirmed the horrible rumor of the bet. It had taken everything, and encouragement from Charlie, for Nick to stay put and not rush back there to beat his ass. Even your 'anti-violence' mother kept her mouth shut while Nick uttered threats, each worse than the other. The next day would already be horrible enough for the guy without Nick having to get in trouble had reassured his boyfriend.

Forty-five minutes later, you were all covered in blankets, resting on pillows, cuddled up together. Nick and Charlie were sitting on either side of you. Your brother's arm reached around you and his boyfriend. 

The rest of the gang was scattered around the floor and the couch, but you were still all touching. Forming an unbreakable chain of support and love. 

You looked around and felt so grateful as you looked at the people present. Nick squeezed your hand with a kind smile, a quick check-up to confirm you were still okay. You cleared your throat, gathering everyone's attention. The movie softly played in the background while you started, "I wanted to thank you for this. You have all been incredible. Thank you for helping me, and I hope you can forgive me for interrupting your end-of-exams party." 

"Hush with that. As if we'd ever be mad for something like this." intervened Elle. She put a comforting hand on your shin, her features so open and caring. You couldn't help but give her an answering smile.

"Did you really think we'd resent you for what happened tonight?" inquired Charlie. Once again, a light of understanding sparkled in his blue eyes.

"No, but it's just... This was your thing. Your party, and once again, I'm intruding in and forcing you guys to hang out with me."

"Forcing us?!" cut Tara. "Y/n, I don't think anyone here would feel forced to hang out with you. We like hanging out with you!"

Your eyes shone with surprise and something like relief. They all looked at each other incredulously. Not quite believing that you didn't know how much they liked you. "What?! Did you think we only thought of you as Nick's little sister?"

You turned your head towards a disbelieving Tao. Your shy silence was an answer in itself.

"You have great taste in movies. Plus, you have a lot of knowledge about the cinematic universe. I like hanging out with you because you're the only one in this group with decent expertise of the culture." He added enthusiastically. Pronouncing that last word with his usual mediocre impression of a Scottish accent, he extorted a laugh from your chest.

"And you like to dance, and for some reason, you get Darcy's poor sense of humor," added Tara with a sarcastic roll of her eyes. To which her girlfriend lightly tapped her leg in protest.

"And you're into art, and you're actually the only one in this group who can give me constructive criticism about my work." Your gaze dropped back to Elle, giving an accusatory look at the rest of the group.

"And you're the only one willing to have a book club with me. Don't think I can talk and have actual discussions with this lot about all the books I read," finished Isaac with a shy smile. He was the first in the gang, after Charlie, with whom you felt really close. You squeezed his hand as a silent thanks.

"We're trying to tell you how you mean so much more to us. You're Y/n Nelson. We like hanging out with you because you're a great person with great interests. Not because we have to. Not because you're Nick's sister." explained Charlie. He knew how it felt when you thought people didn't honestly like you. Or when you thought they'd be better off without you. He saw so much of himself inside of you. It made his heart tighten with sadness and love.

You stared at them all, a few tears burning in the corners of your eyes. You coughed, trying to hide the emotion flaring up in you.

"You are part of this group if you want to Y/n." Charlie nudged you with his shoulder as if he had read your thoughts. You lifted hopeful eyes towards him. You felt as if your heart might burst with joy.

"I-"

"I'm not giving you any choice." cut Darcy out of the blue."You are part of the gang. Nothing you can do about it." she declared. As always, her unexpected comment had everyone laughing. You looked at her triumphant face, euphoria spreading in your chest.

You looked at your brother, who was already beaming at you, pride and joy mixed in that sweet expression. The tears in your eyes welled up and, against the better of you, softly dropped on your cheeks. 

"Are these tears of joy...?" asked Isaac, speaking for the whole group. You had been through a lot tonight, and they had hoped their intervention would have made you happy. But they questioned if it had been too much, too soon.

You let out a soft chuckle. "Yes."

In a team effort, the whole gang jumped on you. Engulfing your body in an embrace of warmth, love, and laughter, a lot of laughter. 

"I'm so sorry for being such a..." 

You stopped mid-sentence when you felt a pinch on your arm, only to hear Nick whisper, "From now on, you are also banned from saying the 's' word. So shut it and enjoy." The whole group, including yourself, erupted in laughter. 

There would be a lot of hardships coming in the next few days, but knowing you had them all made you feel like maybe, just maybe, you'd be able to weather it.

[jasmine-the-fox]

It takes more than a role to be a teacher

And here we go! Another request made by azv2448 over on ao3. I believe that there will be more so i'm not hoping this is the last request i get from them.

Let's get into it then!

Mendeleiev and Bustier knew each other since college. They were rivals in everything... including becoming teachers, which everyone saw clearly back then and wondered who would win. While Olga was strict and focused with everyone to make sure that others listen so they get good grades... Caline focused on the bad people to make them feel good and happy while abusing the good students who were victims in bullying.

This caused Caline to get fired and lose her teachers permit...

Years go by and Olga works at College Françoise Dupont and is very happy with how well her students are doing in her class. She was shocked when she discovered Caline now working at the school... as a teacher. She knew about Caline losing her permit to be a teacher and how she refused to retake the classes required to reclaim her permit so how did she get the job? Olga was certain she didn't something and she was going to find out what it was... no matter what it takes.

Which is why she was in Damocles'' office right now. He was the one who had to review the people who request a job as a teacher and he swore to make sure that everything was good. So the fact that Caline got a job... means that she commited a crime, she looked around and then found Caline's file. She looked through it and uncovered that it had been documented that Caline presented a fake permit to be a teacher with false recommendations from previous schools she worked at but got fired from due to her actions.

This told Olga everything she needed to know as she took pictures of everything before putting it back and leaving...

Now that she had proof of Caline's and Damocles' crimes... she could get started on opening an investigation on them... but it was possible that they could cover it up still... which is why she needed more evidence of what they were doing... and for that... She needed evidence of Caline's behaviour in the classroom. She hates this due to the fact that Marinette was suffering badly by Caline's hands... she knew this because the other teachers notice that when she walks into there classroom she's happy and excited... but the second it's time to leave and she has to go to Caline's class... she's trembling as she walks out slowly.

Olga knew that Caline was doing the same thing she has done in the past on Marinette now...

Making Marinette do her work, letting others bully her and do nothing to stop it... it was horrible. She got a hidden camera set on her by using a gorgeous pin Mari made for her birthday two years ago and began to record everything that happened in Caline's class when she get's a chance to be near... and what she collected in just three days... made her want to quit and leave the country right now.

Caline ignored Mari's pleas for help when Chloe and Sabrina bully her, she looks away when Lila lies about Mari and she tries to defend herself, she leaves the classroom when the class attacks her verbally and or physically because Lila lied about Marinette doing something to her and worst of all... she makes a phone call whenever Mari tries to get her attention when Adrien sexually harasses her and she tells him no multiple times.

She was getting sick from it all but now she had everything she needed to destroy Caline and Damocles for good. Which is why she went after Mari who ran out of the classroom after Kim dumped his iced coffee on her and her sketchbook (fake) making the class laugh at her while Caline screamed at her to come back and apologize to the class for causing them trouble... she found her in the bathroom on the phone with her boyfriend.

She knew about the boy. Damien Wayne sole blood related son to Bruce Wayne. She actually received an email from Bruce giving her his personal number to call about anything relating to Marinette... she went over to Mari to comfort her and offered her jacket to wear before she goes home for the day to clean up and rest. Once she left. She returned to her classroom to make a phone call "Bruce Wayne" a male voice spoke after the second ring "Hello mister Wayne. My name is Olga Mendeleiev. You sent me an email with your number to call you about Marinette. Is this a good time to talk?" she explained and once she was confirmed to have time... she told him everything that happened to Marinette that she saw in three days.

Of course the man was infuriated with what she told him... and he wasn't going to let this continue "I'll send my best lawyers to Paris to help you sue those two and those kids who hurt Marinette. I will also be calling her parents and request they take her to the airport as soon as possible because i'm paying for a ticket for the next flight to Gotham for Marinette to be on to come live with us because that school is sadly a toxic environment for her now" Bruce explained and Olga fully agreed with what Bruce said. Mari needed to leave Paris so she can heal from what Caline taught her to believe.

The next day. Mari didn't come to school, all of her teachers received an email from Sabine that Mari was pulled out of school and was transferring to another school. Of course Damocles and Caline reacted in a negative way and responded to Sabine demanding Marinette to come back as she had things to fix and take care of before she could do so. But Olga knew that it wouldn't be possible since the girl was either on her way or already in Gotham by now. She did however go to the bakery and was gifted free pastries and a scarf made by Mari as a thank you for everything.

It made Olga happy as she enjoyed the gifts...

After that... it was hell at the school. Police were there to investigate and question everyone. Parents were coming in demanding answers about why there kids might be repeating the year or getting sent somewhere... Damocles was arrested for take money bribes to look the other way when bullies were hurting others and Caline was arrested for teaching without a permit and abusing Marinette. Olga smiled the whole time she presented her evidence to the police and informed everyone that she caused this to happen because she knew Caline in the past.

Bruce's lawyers were monsters towards Caline's class... they were all sued and given restraining orders for what they did to Mari, Caline was going to jail and Damocles was threatened with jail... but he somehow escaped that... Olga was certain that he somehow was able to lie about Caline and what he knew but she didn't care because he couldn't work at a school ever again.

Now here she was. The new principal at College Françoise Dupont. She investigates every potential teacher before making a final decision to hire or not. She makes sure that all students are doing well, but if they have troubles then she makes sure that they get the help they need and she receives gifts on her birthday every year for the past five years from Marinette Wayne as a thank you for saving her from Caline and her bullies.

She didn't care if Caline, Damocles or Caline's old class hate her... she would have done this all over again... if it meant Mari was alive, well and happy outside of Paris...

[thislousytshirt]

Wyll Ravenguard story suggestions

ive heard a lot of people, both fans and non-fans of wyll, say that his storyline is lacking, and i agree. i actually think lae'zel, karlach and wyll just have weaker stories than the other origin characters but ive seen people say they think wylls was neglected because hes the only black character and yeah... i think it has a lot of potential and ive thought about how id rewrite it without removing anything thats there (like completely changing the role of his father or changing wylls character, i tried not to change his character at all but there might be things i overlooked) i tried to come up with content that could feasibly be added to the existing game by larian. anyway heres what id add

-a scene early in act 2 where wyll confesses to the player that what happened with karlach has caused him to question whether mizora has manipulated him to kill other innocents or good people in the past. he summons her to ask (wait, can he summon her? i dont see why not) and she makes light of the question, refusing to answer outright but implying she has. this is upsetting to wyll and causes him to question his role as a hero. (this scene does not happen if karlach was killed or that quest wasnt completed)

-a scene early in act 3 where wyll tries to help a group of refugees but is rejected because one of them can sense his connection with a devil. this sparks a conversation with the player where wyll says hes come to terms with his sacrifice but he isnt made of stone and being rejected by his father and then continuously used by mizora is wearing him down. he then apologizes for being selfish and the player can end the conversation or tell him hes not being selfish and encourage him to talk about what it was like after he was outcast as a teenager. after this he will show frustration with the situation and say hes afraid he will grow to resent the people hes trying to help. the player can say that they value his help or they can encourage him to stand up and defend his own value to other people. (or they can say some dick thing yk)

-after duke ravenguard is rescued hes brought unconcious to the camp. he recovers and is freed from the absolute by the astral prism but is disgusted with wyll like his is in canon and refuses to work with the party or listen to what they have to say. he leaves to go to his house and gather his resources. the party agrees they must go after him before the astral prism's effect wears off (is this how the astral prism works?) the party sneaks into ravenguards house or fights his loyal flaming fists to get to the duke, and pass a persuasion check to allow wyll to talk to his father. it is a DRAMATIC and EMOTIONAL confrontation where wyll tells his father he made a pact to prevent a slaughter, that he has been fighting to save innocents ever since, and that it still hurts that his father believed he had done it for power. wylls father looks conflicted and agrieved - he doesnt want to believe he was so unfair to his own son. wyll tells him that he can disbelieve wyll and hate him if he wants but begs him to work together with him to stop the absolute and save baldurs gate. ravenguard believes him and is remorseful, they hug and everyones tadpoles connect catching the duke up on whats happened. he goes to their camp and becomes an ally like usual

*if the party didnt recruit wyll or he was killed, the duke becomes their ally like in canon and gives them the key to his house so they can use his stuff

*if the persuasion check to get ravenguard to talk to wyll is failed they will have to fight him. after the fight wyll gives him a potion and says his speech like normal. i just think it would be fun and dramatic to have a mini boss fight in there

*if for some reason the player decides not to bring wyll to the confrontation with the duke then they can just persuade the duke through dialogue and tadpole-meld with him but it will not be nearly as satisfying. back at camp wyll will say hes reconciled with his father and thank the player.

*if duke ravenguard is not saved at all then i assume there is a canon dialogue that plays with wyll but i havent seen it so if its as bad as his reunion scene then rewrite that too.

i havent seen like, every scene, i havent even finished act 3 in my playthrough because i have adhd, and ive only seen wylls early romance scenes. so its possible some of the stuff ive touched on is hidden late in act 3 or in the romance but i want it in his main story path and earlier if thats the case. and i have seen the confrontation with his father and i think its super bad.

also - i know rescuing the duke is already very difficult and annoying, and adding extra steps to recruiting him would piss a lot of people off, but its worth it for me to get the confrontation into a setting where lighting and staging can be used to effect, and the effect of wyll having to forcibly enter one of his families properties which he should have been welcome in - it symbolizes him no longer accepting his exile.

anyway tell me what you would have done differently

[stiltonbasket]

jzx, seeing yanli carrying around baby a-yuan: oh. Oh.

Also, the idea of A-yuan being surprisingly tolerant of jzx while his a-niang and jiang-shushu have never felt more Betrayed™️.

Thank you very much for ur cultivation baby sizhui au i am in love!!!!!!!

As is the way of things when one happens to be the heir to a sect, no one has ever dared to hurt Jin Zixuan's feelings.

Of course, he argued with his mother sometimes; and when he was a child, he tried to quarrel with his father about the women he brought into Koi Tower. Those arguments never turned in Zixuan’s favor, but no one but his father has ever tried to insinuate that he was wrong about something important: and when the first person to do so turns out to be Jiang Yanli, Jin Zixuan spends the next two weeks in a state of abject shame.

He had misjudged Maiden Jiang, badly. He never knew her to be dishonest in their childhood, and she had never been proud—but Zixuan was flattered by the notion that someone would take the trouble to make him soup on a battlefield, and when he saw the girl who delivered the first bowl, Jiang Yanli seemed weaker and more talentless than ever in comparison. She could not fight, and she was not beautiful; and her pursuit of Jin Zixuan into battle seemed poorly done, when there were other women who had come to fight or elected to remain at home to defend their sect strongholds.

“Do you have anything in that thick skull of yours? Anything at all?” Wei Wuxian had demanded, on the day Zixuan insulted Jiang-guniang for bringing him soup. “She has two brothers at the front, and you think she’s here for you? Do you think you’d even get to see her face if Nie-zongzhu sent me and Jiang Cheng somewhere else?”

Jin Zixuan had been a fool. He considered Jiang Yanli’s affections as his by rights, even when he thought he did not want them; and now that he did, it would be shameless to pursue her considering their broken engagement.

Just the other day, he had seen her walking around camp with Wei Wuxian’s child in her arms, and the picture she made was so devastatingly beautiful that Zixuan wished he could strangle the younger version of himself that thought her plain.

“It’s nobody’s fault but your own,” Mianmian said mercilessly, when Jin Zixuan asked for her advice on the day before they departed for the Nightless City. “No one asked you to treat her coldly when we were children, or insult her at the Cloud Recesses. No one forced you to reject her cooking, either. You’re reaping your own rewards, gongzi, and you won’t get any sympathy from me.”

“I know I don’t deserve your sympathy. I don’t deserve Jiang-guniang’s love, either,” Jin Zixuan pleaded. “But surely—surely I could apologize to her? Her feelings must still be wounded, and I haven’t done anything about it.”

“The time to make apologies was months ago,” she snapped. “Frankly, I don’t see how marrying you could make Jiang-guniang happy now. Let it go.”

So Jin Zixuan let it go, knowing that the bitterness of losing Jiang Yanli was nothing compared to all that she had endured at his hands. But then, a bare twenty-four hours after Wen Ruohan was finally slain, he meets her in the compound of the Sun Palace reserved for recovering cultivators, and stops dead in his tracks; for she has Wei Wuxian’s son tied to her back in a sling, and the baby had seized one of the gold peony chains dangling from Jin Zixuan’s guan as he passed by.

“Oh!” Jiang Yanli exclaims. “Pardon me, Jin-gongzi. Yuanyuan, let go of his hair.”

The baby—Yuanyuan, Jiang-guniang said—does not let go. Instead, he winds his tiny fists around the end of the chain and pulls it towards his mouth.

“Bu!” he shrieks, when Jin Zixuan tries to free himself. Unnerved, Zixuan drops his hand and edges a little closer; he hates listening to babies’ cries, and this baby’s crying kept their regiment from sleep on so many nights that most of the Jin cultivators refuse to go anywhere near him.

Jiang-guniang reaches up and pries Yuanyuan’s left hand open. But the minute she reaches for the right one, the left hand clamps back down on Jin Zixuan’s hair.

“I’ll just give it to him. I’ve got others,” Jin Zixuan squeaks, his face burning. “It won’t take long, Lady Jiang.”

He detaches the guan and its six gold chains from his bun, letting his long dark hair fall free, and then he puts it back up with a spare hairpin and gives his guan to the baby.

“Here,” he says, and then, when she opens her mouth to thank him:

“It was no trouble,” Zixuan blurts out. “It’s just a guan, and he’s only a baby.”

Jiang Yanli gives him a kind smile and steps past him, heading towards the house where Wei Wuxian is convalescing.

But Wei Yuan, apparently unsatisfied with the peony chains now that they were his and not Zixuan’s, wriggles up and hangs the guan over Jiang Yanli’s ear.

“Pitty,” he coos, rubbing his tiny cheek against hers.

In that very moment, the sun emerges from behind a veil of rosy clouds; and when it falls upon Jiang Yanli, the light strikes the golden peony blossoms in her hair, and fills her big eyes with a gentle fire that nearly brings Jin Zixuan to his knees.

“Mianmian,” he gasps, after he staggers back to the Jins’ guest compound and collapses on the floor by his bed. “Mianmian, I need help. I love Jiang-guniang, I do—even if her affections for me have faded. I won’t press her—I could never press her, even if I had not disrespected her so in the past. But if I have the slightest, slimmest chance, then maybe—”

Mianmian looks supremely unimpressed.

“Get up,” she sighs, a little while later. “Very well, I’ll help you.”

Jin Zixuan bolts upright. “Then you think she might accept me?”

“Why do you think I told you to stay away from her?” scolds Mianmian. “If she’d learned her lesson after that business with the soup, I wouldn’t have bothered. I warned you off for her sake, Zixuan, because Jiang-guniang still loves you.”

Jin Zixuan gawks at her, wonderstruck, and bursts into tears.

[savemefromanepicoftimewasted]

Why Does Change Hurt So Much?

Joel Miller X F!Reader Joel wasn't a terrible person, he'd done everything he could to make sure everyone he cared about was safe. Until Ellie finds out the truth, finds out that Joel's never been truthful, until Ellie hates him. A/N:this fic idea had been bothering me for DAYS so I finally took the time to write it, there's no real major warnings besides the D slur as well as Joel talking about his past also also, SPOILERS FOR THE LAST OF US PART II, YOU HAVE BEEN WARNED also also also:feedback is HIGHLY appreciated! Part 2 Part 3 Part 4

Everything started to change after Ellie had stopped speaking to Joel, even if it was tearing him apart inside that he couldn’t just casually go and talk to her. He’d met you first at the Tipsy Bison, it was an accident and Joel hadn’t stumbled over his words in so long. Your first date was magical and the only person he could talk to about it was his brother. Sure he could’ve talked to Maria about you too but she was dealing with his niece's terrible twos at the moment. He’d fallen in love hard and fast but refused to admit he was the first one to say ‘I love you’. Then came the engagement. Joel downright refused to make a fuss over it because the one person he’d wanted to tell wouldn’t be there. It felt almost wrong to keep living his life after what happened, as if he wasn’t meant to be happy.

The wedding was a simple and quiet affair, only a handful of people were in attendance as the pair of you bound yourselves to one another. You’d looked ethereal before him, a goddess sent down to make sure he didn’t do something stupid. It reminded him of when he’d rescued Ellie from the hospital, he’d knocked the surgeon and nurses out before taking her from the bed. Marlene had been an unfortunate casualty but he downright refused to let them murder her for the sake of something that wouldn't work. 

Ellie had gone back for the backpack with the memories of her life before infection, Marlene’s body had slowly decomposed into the ground. The doctor and ‘friends’ must have fled as there was no sign of them when Ellie arrived. She listened to each and every recording, the sick realization that Joel had lied dug so dangerously deep. The only person she’d had any trust for, and he fucking lied! How could he do this to her, it didn’t make any sense for him to lie to her about something so serious. Maybe Maria was right, maybe she truly knew nothing about Joel Miller.

The little tussle with Seth had been almost accidental, you and Joel had been sitting together by the bar, watching Ellie and Dina dance together. You knew the story of what happened and how it came to be that Ellie wanted nothing to do with Joel. It was heartbreaking to hear how much Joel truly cared about the teen. You weren’t going to interfere though, there was nothing more irritating than someone else knowing your business. And then Seth goes and calls Ellie a dyke. Had Joel not thrown himself out of his chair you absolutely would have. You were in a goddamn apocalypse and this bigot was being hateful still?

Of course that didn’t mean Ellie was going to take kindly to Joel trying to defend her. The bar was silent as she hissed the words “I don’t need your fucking help”. Your heart broke at the expression that flickered over his features. Joel had managed to hide how distraught he was for years, but to hear it again that Ellie practically hated him dug the knife a little deeper. He didn’t say anything as he turned to leave, wrapping his arm around your waist to pull you flush to his side.

Ellie stared as the two of you left, more confused than hurt in that moment as she suddenly realized she had no idea who you were. Dina called her name softly, it was time to leave and not make anymore scenes. Why did the thought of Joel finding someone bother her so much? He’d made it quite known that he was perfectly happy on his own.

“Ellie, why don’t we leave and talk about this somewhere else?” Dina seemed a little more desperate now, everyone was staring at the pair.

“Yeah, let’s go” Ellie laced their fingers together, walking briskly out of the bar before anyone else could utter their own hatred.

Joel’s hands were shaking as he tried, and struggled, to pour the ground coffee into the press. Tommy had managed to find not only a french press, but also six bags of ground coffee during their last run. It was the only thing, besides you of course, that seemed to help manage his anxiety. Ironic isn’t it?

“Joel, you have to understand where she’s coming from, she was told that she was going to ‘change the world’ and do bigger and better things,” You never faulted Joel for his decision, but you could understand why Ellie was angry with him.

“I should’ve just told her the truth from the start, maybe she wouldn’t hate me as much,” Joel hadn’t regretted letting the doctor live, the man was just doing what he was told.

“I think she would’ve been upset no matter what, she’s still a kid,” You watched and waited as Joel finished scooping the coffee in, pouring over the hot water to let it steep.

The air in the kitchen seemed to almost thicken as you both waited for the conversation to continue. It was never easy watching Joel slip further into this depression, nor was it easy watching the way Ellie became more hostile. It was subtle at first, Joel would be in bed for an extra twenty minutes whereas before he’d be up before the sun was even out. Ellie would snap on people much quicker, blaming it on a multitude of things instead of addressing the issue. Joel frowned as he pushed the plunger down slowly, making sure it was level with the bottom before pouring himself a cup.

Before you could say anything else a knock at the door caught both your and Joel’s attention. It could be one of three people. Tommy, to see what happened at the bar, Seth to apologize, or Ellie. You weren’t sure who you were hoping was on the other side of the door, you were hoping for a brief second that it was Tommy. Joel opened the door slower than normal, brow furrowing as he stared down at Ellie.

“Hey, is it okay if we talk outside?” She glanced over to where you were sitting, her eyes widened with a million different emotions before they locked back on Joel.

“Sure let’s go,” Joel looked back at you for a brief second, nodding his head before stepping out onto the porch with Ellie.

The door shut with an almost silent click, normally Joel preferred something that made a little more noise as he’d lost his hearing almost entirely on the right side now. He only had himself to blame of course, shooting infected with a rifle wasn’t always the smartest idea. That wasn’t why they were here though, and Joel was terrified of what was going to happen.

“Why did you do it?” Ellie hadn’t even given him a moment to sip his coffee, which at the moment was keeping him grounded.

“I couldn’t let them kill you for something that had a one percent chance of working,” Joel stared down at the steaming mug, a frown pulling at his lips.

“It wasn’t your choice to make, Joel, and you know that. You took away the only thing that mattered most to me,” Ellie had been furious, the anger burning like a wildfire inside of her for so long.

Joel didn’t say anything, instead bringing the mug to his lips and letting the liquid soothe his throat. He wouldn’t admit to absolutely anyone, but he’d fallen to his knees once you and him were alone after the incident at the bar. He’d cried until his throat felt raw and torn, gripped the fabric of your shirt until his knuckles turned white. Joel had blamed himself for years, for all the lies he told to make sure Ellie never found out the truth. He had promised himself he would tell her that he had taken away her choice because he was selfish. But then she’d found out, and she’d hated him even more than he could ever hate himself.

“If I could relive that day, I would do it all over again,” Joel had lost too many people in his life, he’d nearly lost you a few times and he couldn’t talk to anyone about it.

Ellie’s shoulders slumped forward, head hanging down as she struggled to take in his words. They had been a team, never keeping secrets when it mattered most, but right now there was still that wall between the two of them. Snow had started to fall from the sky, albeit slowly and drifting away from them it seemed.

“I killed a lot of people that day, and I’m not proud to admit that, but I wasn’t going to let them kill an innocent child for something that would not work,” Joel stood up straight, or as straight as his back would let him at the moment.

“I’ll never ask for your forgiveness, lord knows I don’t deserve it, but you deserved more than a fantasy built on lies told by the people who claimed to care about you,” Joel finished off the coffee, grimacing at how cold it had become.

Ellie stood there silently, mulling over everything Joel had said to her. She’d only seen Marlene’s side of everything, the way she spoke about the vaccine as if it was a miracle cure. Even if it didn’t work, if it was all just a pipe dream that was made up by a bunch of morons, Joel took that from her.

“I knew your mother, very briefly, but I don’t think she would’ve wanted her only daughter to be murdered for the same thing that killed her,” Wait, what did he just say?

“You knew my mother?” Ellie’s voice was soft, shock coursing through her like a bolt of lightning.

“Like I said, I knew her very briefly, she was already six months pregnant by the time we met. Tommy had joined the fireflies already when we ran into one another, she was a total spitfire that took shit from no one. I can see where you get it from,” Joel reached down to set the mug on the table behind him.

No one had ever told Ellie about her mother, and one of the only people who even knew her mother was dead and gone. She’d always wondered what her mother was like, was she kind and smart? Or was she as much of an asshole that Ellie had made herself out to be?

“Tommy knows more than I do about her if you’re ever curious, but yeah, your mother died making sure that you were safe and sound, I don’t think she would’ve appreciated what Marlene tried to do,” Looking over at Joel reminded Ellie of exactly why they were in this situation.

The lies had built up for two years before she finally confronted him, angry that something so serious had been kept from her. Joel didn’t lie after that, he told her everything she wanted to hear and accepted when she cut him off. He was thankful for it in a sense, if Ellie hadn’t stopped speaking to him he would’ve never found the courage to talk to you.

“You got married, and you didn’t tell me,” The hurt was precedent in Ellie’s tone, though she felt stupid for being upset.

“You weren’t talking to me, and Tommy didn’t think it was his place to tell you I’d found someone to spend the rest of my life with,” Joel loved you more than anything, even if the two of you found out neither of you could have any kids it was fine.

Joel had already been a father, he’d lost one daughter the day the apocalypse started, and lost the second due to his own actions. Another child would just complicate things further for him, he’d be more worried during patrols wondering if you and the kids were okay at home. You’d been more worried about Joel’s reaction to hearing that you couldn’t have children than actually hearing it. You had accepted that you wouldn’t be a parent, especially once the world went to shit and all your friends and family were dead. 

“She knows the truth, I ended up spilling my guts one night after drinking half a bottle of whiskey, gotta say she’s a much better person than I will ever be,” Joel wasn’t dumb, he’d done horrible shit in his life and would spend the rest of it atoning for it.

“She knows I got bit?” Ellie clenched her hands into fists, the tattoo that covered the skin was a much more pleasant sight, but it still hurt to know a stranger knew her entire life.

“I told her about everything, from when Sarah was a baby, to coming back to Jackson. I’m not going to keep secrets from my wife Ellie,” Joel’s anger wasn’t something that built slowly, he would be the first to admit how hot headed he was.

Ellie opened and closed her mouth a few times, what could she possibly say to that without sounding hypocritical. She was the one to cut Joel out of her life entirely, he wasn’t going to go skipping to her house to announce that he’d gotten married. But her life wasn’t something for him to tell.

“I didn’t tell her about Riley, or Cat, or hell even Dina. I told her about how Marlene begged us to take you to the hospital, how we lost Tess, Bill, Frank, Henry and Sam along the way. I didn’t tell her about David, or the way I tortured three men to try and find you. How I killed fifteen men to get to you, the surgeon is lucky I didn’t kill him,” Joel scoffed lowly, running his tongue over his teeth as the taste of coffee lingered.

“You didn’t tell her about all of that?” Maybe she should’ve been screaming at him, that he had still spewed too many secrets that weren’t his.

“No, she knows the bare minimum about you,” Joel’s hands had started to shake again, though he was more sure that it had to do with the cold rather than anything.

Ellie wanted to know everything about you, where you’d grown up, how old were you before the apocalypse happened, how did you manage to tie down Joel Miller. Her thoughts strayed back to Dina, what would she make of the situation when they got to talk again?

“Joel?” Your voice was quiet, a cardigan wrapped tight to keep off the winter chill that was trying to seep itself into your bones.

“Go back inside hun, I’ll be in in a few minutes,” Joel reached over, cupping your cheek with a cold palm.

“Make sure you stay warm, don’t need you getting sick,” You smiled softly, pressing a gentle kiss to his palm before glancing over at Ellie.

“I will, scouts honor,” Joel’s eyes crinkled as he smiled at you.

To anyone that witnessed the moment it was obvious how in love you were, Joel’s eyes sparkled with love and affection. Ellie looked away, feeling as if she was intruding on a personal moment between the two of you. It wasn’t until she’d heard the door shut once more that she lifted her head, looking back over at the older man.

“Look, if you’re here to get mad at me some more about the past, just go home and get some sleep, you’re taking over for Tommy and I tomorrow for the afternoon shift,” Joel grabbed the mug off the table, ready to go inside and lick his wounds in private.

Ellie didn’t say another word, watching as Joel stepped inside his house and shut the door with a deafening click. It felt as if they had sealed their fate, they would never be able to truly move past the issues at hand. Joel had admitted fault, had told Ellie that he knew what he did was wrong, but he couldn’t lose someone else. Ellie couldn’t see it that way, she wanted to truly hate Joel for what he’d done. Maybe she’d ask Tommy about her mother, learn everything about her that she could. Maybe, just maybe, she could learn to forgive Joel.

Joel stared down at the single mug sitting in the sink, he wanted to go outside and talk to Ellie for just a few more minutes, but this wasn’t something he could fix on his own. He’d joked about seeing a therapist, knowing that there were a few living in Jackson he could talk to. He’d have to leave out key information though, and that didn’t feel right with him if he was going to spill his emotions.

“Joel, let’s go to bed,” You wrapped your arms around his waist, pressing your cheek against his back.

“You think she’ll ever forgive me?” Joel never got his hopes up, it was too dangerous to hope for a positive outcome.

“I think she needs time to figure out who she is as a person on her own, she needs to find her identity before she starts to accept people in her life,” It was something you’d thought about for a while, being married almost two years, having met right after Ellie stopped speaking to him.

You knew Joel wanted Ellie by his side but he needed to punish himself for what he’d done, for his actions having consequences that caused this to snowball. You were surprised to hear he’d let the doctor live, knowing how dangerous that could have been considering the circumstances. You’d mulled over the story yourself multiple times, coming to the same conclusion after deliberating. Had you been in Joel’s shoes, you would have saved Ellie as well, keeping her safe in such a toxic world.

“I wish she could’ve met Sarah, they would’ve got on like a house on fire,” It was something Joel had mentioned a few times, of course Sarah would’ve been in her 30’s had that night not happened.

“I think you seem to forget that Ellie is still a kid, Sarah would’ve been an adult with possibly children of her own,” You patted Joel’s stomach playfully, pulling your arms away to head on up to bed.

Joel refused to let his mind wander, to think about what would’ve happened if Sarah had lived. He wouldn’t have been here with you, Ellie would’ve died for nothing, and his brother would’ve still left, it didn’t seem worth it. Turning off all the lights downstairs Joel made his way up to where you were. Grabbing his pajamas to change out of the heavy clothes that kept out the normal winter chill. You’d started stealing Joels’ shirts to sleep in only a few months after you had gotten together. Joel of course encouraged it and even snuck a few of his own shirts into your drawers.

“Do you think I’m a bad dad?” The question caught you off guard, it wasn’t something he’d ever asked before.

“Absolutely not, and I swear if you start blaming yourself for stuff that was out of your control I’m going to grab my slipper and beat you with it,” You pulled off your jeans, shrugging on one of Joel’s shirts and a pair of sweatpants.

“Yes ma’am,” Joel chuckled, pulling on his shirt before turning to face you.

He wasn’t surprised to see that you’d already crawled into bed, blanket pulled up nearly over your head as you stared back at him. Domesticity felt good, a comforting weight he hadn’t felt since he arrived back in Jackson all those years ago.

“You sounded like a wonderful dad, Joel, Sarah was a very lucky girl to have you as her father,” It needed to be a reminder that Joel was a good person who’d had to do bad things to survive.

There was no right and wrong in the world anymore, some people killed to survive, and some people survived to kill. You’d had your fair share of run-ins with the wrong type of people before, didn’t make it any easier. Things were different in Jackson though, you didn’t have to worry about where your next meal would come from. Raiders were killed before they could make it past the walls. It was a comforting change of pace compared to how horrible the world was otherwise.

You had slipped into a dreamless sleep, curled tight around Joel’s body as the two of you slept the night away. Joel was thankful he woke up before his alarm went off, wanting to make sure he hadn’t disturbed you at all. He got dressed silently and pressed a gentle kiss to your head before heading out on patrol. Just a few houses away Ellie was deep in her own dreamland, a nightmare wracking her body as she tried to save Joel from a pack of clickers. Her screams were deafened by the agonizing screeches they let out. He was going to die before Ellie could forgive him, before they could try and rebuild the bond they had before.

“No!” Ellie nearly threw herself off the bed, grabbing onto the mattress before her body could leave the plush comfort.

It was a bad dream, nothing bad happened and she was still safe inside of Jackson. Maybe she should’ve talked with Joel a little more, and taken the time to discuss things instead of getting angry. After patrol, that’s what she would do is corner Joel so they could discuss everything.

Jesse had called Ellie out on her shit the moment he went to get her, joking that she was trying to steal his ex Dina right out under his nose. It was all in good fun as the trio went out onto patrol, Ellie and Dina breaking off to look through a large abandoned building. It reminded Ellie of the nightmare, listening to Joel’s terrified screams as he tried to escape. Shit, this was not going to be a fun day.

“We can head out a little earlier if you want, make sure Joel and Tommy are good for the swap so they can head home?” Dina could sense that Ellie was faraway, gaze locked onto the nothingness that sat in front of them.

“Yeah, I gotta talk to him tonight, maybe his wife too,” Ellie hopped onto Shimmer, grabbing the reins to make sure she wouldn’t startle when Dina hopped on the back

The ride over was stressful, the snow whipping around them harshly as Ellie tried to remember the route from memory. They had to change it recently due to a tree being knocked down during a whiteout. Shit, were they supposed to go left at the crossroads instead of right? No time to think about that, need to get to the next checkpoint. Luckily Ellie could just barely make out the hotel, hopefully Joel and Tommy were still inside.

“Shit, Jesse’s here too,” Dina’s voice was muffled against the wind, but Ellie heard her clear as day.

Why did one of the people she didn’t want to confront have to be here too? It was going to be hard enough dealing with Joel, let alone Jesse and Tommy. Ellie ducked her head as they made it into the lobby, Shimmer stopping beside the other three horses.

“No, that’s absolutely not happening, you have to find someone else,” Who was Joel yelling at? Or better yet, why was he yelling?

“Joel, we need a group to go there, you’re one of the best leaders we’ve had in years,” Shit, this didn’t sound good.

Ellie slipped off the horse slowly, tiptoeing to where the other three were hanging out. Tommy had his hands on his hips, staring at Joel exasperatedly. From the sounds of it they were sending out a group, and not a small one at that, to get supplies from somewhere. Dina pressed herself against Ellie, trying to make the pair more invisible.

“Tommy I have someone at home that will worry herself the entire time, I’ve basically lost my hearing entirely on the right side of my head, you think it’s smart to send me out there again?” Joel wasn’t willing to risk his life anymore, not after you came into the picture.

For the first few months after he and Ellie had stopped speaking Joel was reckless, he’d nearly gotten himself killed a handful of times and had his ass handed to him by Tommy just as much. Joel had prided himself on being a protector, and with nothing else to protect he didn’t see the point in trying anymore. Then you came along and Joel didn’t want to assume things were perfectly fine, he had a lot of trauma and shit to work through.

“This’ll be the last run, we just need to get these medical supplies, please,” Tommy wasn’t above groveling, not when it mattered most.

“Tommy I-” Joel was about to rebut, neither of them were fit enough to go on such a long journey before Ellie and Dina burst into the room, effectively cutting him off.

“Let us go, we’ll be able to handle the journey a lot better,” That sounded a lot better in her head, but damnit right now wasn’t the time.

Joel’s face morphed into something that Ellie hadn’t seen in years, there was a deep anger in the color of his eyes, something she couldn’t escape. Why did he look so angry that she offered to go in place of him? Or was there something else she wasn’t aware of, something she was supposed to do and never got the chance to.

“You’re gonna need a bigger group than four people, at least 8 if you’re going to get all the supplies you need,” Joel didn’t look away from Ellie as he said it, she wasn’t sure if he was speaking to her or Tommy.

“Joel, c’mon it’d be smarter to send people that can handle this type of journey if you can’t,” Oh, that was definitely the wrong thing to say to him.

Jesse prepared himself for the onslaught of anger that Tommy was about to be on the receiving end of. No one ever doubted Joel could handle anything you threw at him, so to have Tommy insinuating that Joel couldn’t? It was hearsay. 

“You know what? I’ll go by myself, I have the bags on the horse already,” Joel stormed off, the sound of his boots echoing inside the empty hotel.

Tommy wanted to go after him, to tell him to stop being a dumbass and just listen to some reason for once in his life, but by the time Tommy reached the bottom of the stairs Joel was gone.

“Shit, I’m gonna have to tell his wife he’s headed off to get medical supplies on his own, shit,” Now Tommy Miller wasn’t afraid of much besides his brother's temper, when his wife was upset, and the lovely woman his brother married.

He’d only ever had to give her bad news once before, and lord did Tommy never want to go back and relive that moment ever again. That woman could be downright terrifying when she was pissed off, and this would set her off the deep end.

“If we head out now, we could catch up with Joel and make sure nothing bad happens,” It was a long shot, but right now Ellie was worried Joel would end up dead.

“All three of you go, we’ll make sure someone’s watching the gate even more for when you get back,” Sure the trip would be long and strenuous, but Ellie needed to keep Joel safe.

He’d do it for her.

◤──•~❉᯽❉~•──◥

Joel had been downright furious that Ellie had followed him on Tommy’s orders. He refused to speak to anyone for the first few days, sitting away by himself as everyone slept. Dina didn’t bother to try and start a conversation, she knew it was useless. Jesse filled the void with random facts that he’d found out over the years, it was nice. They only ran into a couple infected which were taken out quickly. Joel’s mind kept reverting back to you, would you be angry with him when he finally got home? Or would you shower him with love and praise at all the medicine and supplies he’d gathered.

“So we’re gonna gather everything we can carry and bring it back to Jackson,” Joel had ripped the list into three pieces, handing one to Jesse, and one to Dina.

“If you run into any raiders or infected, keep quiet and try to take them out without raising suspicion.

The trio nodded, waiting for further instructions on what to do before everyone went off to find what they needed. Joel simply stood there waiting for confirmation that they were ready to go. Dina’s eyes widened as she watched his jaw tighten, a scowl pulling across his face. Shit, the ride back was going to be even worse than the ride here.

“Ellie and I will check the basement, it would be better to have two people down there instead of one,” Dina grabbed her gas mask just in case, never knew where you’d run into spores.

Jesse headed off to the upper floors while Joel went off into the infirmary that was located on the base floor. Ellie and Dina were nearly silent as they scoured the area, grabbing anything that would be useful and stuffing their bags full of medicine. There was a lot more than she’d been expecting which was a nice surprise but something felt off.

“Is it just me, or does this place feel a little weird?” Ellie was trying to carefully place the glass vials in the bottom of her bag, making sure they didn’t break on the transport.

“No, it definitely feels a little weird, why would people leave this much medicine laying around?” Dina had been stuffing her own bag with gauze, scalpels(wrapped in fabric to prevent damage)and bandages.

“Yeah, let’s just fill the bags and get back to Joel and Jesse so we can leave,” Ellie slung her bag over her shoulders, making sure the straps were good before heading out of the basement.

The main floor was silent, not even the breeze blowing by outside could be heard inside of the building. This was even more nerve wracking than dealing with an almost pitch black basement while scouring. Jesse was the first to come down, bag protruding almost comically from his back with everything he’d found.

“Hey, you guys manage to get some stuff?” Jesse had gotten a little nervous when he thought he’d run into a clicker, but thankfully it was a dead one.

“Yeah, a lot of stuff in the basement surprisingly,” Dina glanced around the space, eyes landing on the door that Joel had gone through.

It was shut tight, which confused her for a moment before she started to rattle off the reasons he might have shut it. Being around Ellie was clearly bothering him, so maybe he was taking a few minutes to compose himself before coming back out? That seemed the most logical, Joel could handle a few infected if it came down to it.

“Hey, should we make sure Joel’s alright? It’s been a while and we need to get back on the road before nightfall,” Jesse’s worry started to sink in, Joel was always the first to come back during a scour.

“Let’s go,” Ellie didn’t wait for the other two, running towards the door that stood between her and Joel.

She stopped before her body could slam into the dense wood, turning the handle slowly to make sure it didn’t startle Joel, or whoever else could be in that room. She’d half expected to see Joel mulling over different items, questioning what would be best to take back. What she hadn’t been expecting was to see Joel sprawled against the other side of the room, hand pressed against his stomach. Shit, the last time this happened was because a raider had caught them trying to escape.

“Shit!” Ellie ran into the room, throwing herself beside Joel as he tried, and failed, to stop the bleeding.

Jesse and Dina threw open their bags, pulling out supplies to help Joel before he could lose anymore blood. His skin was clammy, sweat dripping down his face as Dina began to thread a needle. Jesse had gotten the bleeding to stop with a few gauze pads, pushing passed Ellie to get to Joel’s wound.

“Unfortunately I don’t think there was anything to numb this, so I’ll be as quick as I can,” Dina couldn’t help but notice another scar directly next to the fresh wound, they looked so similar.

“‘S fine,” Joel’s words slurred, his breathing labored as Dina began to stitch the wound.

Shit, his wife was definitely going to kill Ellie the moment they got back home and realized that Joel had gotten hurt on their watch.

“Stay with him, I’m gonna bring the horses around,” Ellie pushed off of the floor, running out of the room to get back where all the horses were tied together.

Except something caught her eye before she could grab the reins, someone was watching her from afar. Ellie glanced over at the stranger, the way their shoulders were pulled back as if in a fighting stance, a long braid trailing down their back. Was this the person that stabbed Joel? Another person ran over to the girl across the room, though this person was shorter with a buzzed head. They took off when Ellie grabbed Shimmer's reins, kicking up a small amount of dust as they did. Have to get Joel, that’s the main priority.

“Shit! Ellie!” Dina was frantic, trying to stop Joel from slipping into unconsciousness.

The sound of the horses was loud, any infected or raider would hear them in a heartbeat with the amount of noise they were making. Once outside the room Ellie tied them to the door handle and ran inside.

“What’s going on?” Ellie was terrified, this couldn’t be happening.

“The stitches ended up popping, I can’t stop the bleeding,” Shit!

Ellie reached into her bag for her switchblade, it had kept her alive for this long it would keep Joel alive for a little bit longer. Jesse had gauze pressed against the wound, keeping a solid pressure to help the wound at least slow in bleeding. This was either going to work, or send Joel into shock and give the poor man a heart attack.

Flicking open the lighter she’d stolen from Tommy all those months ago she held the flame underneath the blade. Endure and survive, the words from her favorite comic were on repeat in her mind as she waited for the blade to be hot enough to cauterize the wound.

“I’m so sorry Joel,” Ellie winced as she pulled back the gauze, the wound had stopped bleeding but the pain he was about to endure would be catastrophic.

She pressed the blade against his skin, listening to the way it sizzled and bubbled slightly. The smell of burnt flesh permeated the air before Joel’s scream echoed around them. His heart was racing, pulse jumping as the pain coursed through his body. This was how he was going to die, thousands of miles away from the love of his life, unable to tell her he loves her once more.

“Try and stay awake, please, we need to get back on the horses and get home,” It would be a longer ride back home with Joel's condition.

Dina and Jesse ran to get everything on the horses so that their only worry was getting Joel ready to go.

“Just go, please,” Joel hadn’t felt pain this horrific since the last time he’d been stabbed with a bat.

“I’m not fucking leaving you Joel,” Ellie was pissed at both herself, and at Joel.

There was no way she was going to leave him here to die, not when they had so many things to sit down and discuss. Could she possibly look you in the eye and say that Joel had died under her watch?

“Ellie, we’ve got the horses ready to go, Jesse’s going to ride with Joel and make sure that he’s okay the ride home,” Jesse, of course he’d be the one to do what Ellie couldn’t.

“We have to move him slowly, we go too fast and it’ll all be over,” Ellie couldn’t stop staring at the wound, the way the blood had started drying on his skin.

Dina restitched the wound once more for good measure, cleaning up the excess blood to try and prevent an infection from starting. Their biggest hurdle was getting Joel onto the horse without causing him anymore pain. Jesse made sure he was comfortable before they headed on their journey back home.

Ellie wasn’t sure if she was more thankful there weren't any infected or raiders on the way back, sleeping huddled together to stay safe. Joel was silent the entire time, hands clutching the saddle as they trotted along. A trip that had taken them five days previously, took nearly three weeks. Ellie’s heart broke watching the way Joel would cling to the hope that he’d see his wife again before realizing how far away they still were.

Tommy had been by the gates when they arrived, screaming at everyone to open the doors and let everyone inside. Ellie could see you pacing back and forth, your eyes full of worry as you waited for them to get inside. This was definitely putting Ellie in your shit list for sure, she couldn’t even manage to keep Joel safe during such a normal supply run.

“We’re gonna need a medic!” Tommy’s voice carried above everyone’s alerting the right people to try and get Joel the help he needed.

He’d gotten paler the longer they rode, hands shaking and weak as he forced himself to keep holding on. Just a few minutes more and he’d be back in bed with you, in the house he’d been able to call home.

“Joel!” You had started crying immediately, running over to where he was standing with Tommy.

The front of his jacket was covered in old blood, it was unfortunate because Joel really did like that jacket, it kept him warm.

“Hi baby girl, sorry I was gone for so long,” Joel pressed a weak kiss to your cheek, frowning when he noticed you’d been crying.

“Joel, I’ve been so worried,” You cupped his face in your hands, noticing how sullen his face was, how sallow his skin looked.

“Just had a little incident, nothing to be worried over,” Joel wrapped his arm around your waist, pulling you flush to his chest.

One of the doctors that worked in Jackson came to get Joel and bring him to the infirmary to make sure everything looked good and clean up anything that needed it. You refused to leave his side, hand clutching him. Ellie, along with Dina and Jesse, took all of their findings to the infirmary while avoiding Joel and you as best they could. Ellie wasn’t sure how much Joel remembered of the incident, or if he’d even tell you the truth.

“I have to admit I’m surprised, you guys made out with enough supplies to last us a few years,” People in Jackson were usually more careful about everything they did. Just because you live in paradise, doesn’t mean everything is back to normal.

“We gathered as much as we could there’s still a lot more,” It would be stupid to send them back without more backup, especially if she ran into that girl again.

“I’ll talk to Tommy about sending a different group out, if we can clean the place out we’ll be good for at least a decade or two,” It was risky, but the thought of not having to worry about sickness was nice.

Dina and Jesse bid a quick goodbye before heading to their homes, ready to wash off the last few weeks and get a good night's sleep. Ellie couldn’t move her legs, no matter how much her mind was screaming at her. She could see Joel in the hospital bed, eyes closed as he slept off whatever drugs they had given him. You were watching him, tears sliding down your cheeks as you started to accept that Joel would be okay.

“It’s my fault,” You flinched and threw yourself away from Joel.

“What?” Your brain was still fuzzy, the tears cold on your face.

“Joel got stabbed because of me, he originally didn’t want to go and get the supplies because he was worried about you. I had said that I would go in his place but he left before any of us could stop him. I’m so sorry,” Ellie couldn’t stop the way her bottom lip quivered, the tears that pooled in her eyes.

“Oh sweetheart,” You walked over to where she stood, wrapping your arms around her in a comforting embrace.

Ellie wasn’t sure what emotions were running through her, but she knew that no one had ever hugged her this way except for Joel. Her arms moved slower than the rest of her body, wrapping around your middle and squeezing. You wanted to tell her that everything would be fine, that Joel was stable and the wound was cleaned up. Before you could utter a single word you felt tears soak into the front of your shirt.

“Oh, Ellie, it’s okay baby girl,” That caused the teen to cry harder, gripping onto your shirt as the two of you stood in the middle of the room.

“I just wanted to tell him I was sorry, I thought I was too late,” Her voice was cracking on every other word, emotions getting the better of her.

“You can tell him when he’s back home in a few days, he’s gonna need some time to rest and recuperate,” You could tell from the wound that Ellie had been the one to save his life, she shouldn’t blame herself.

No words were spoken as you comforted the young teen, she needed to see that Joel was truly okay first and foremost. The doctors had made sure there was no infection before dressing the wound, and right now he was knocked out.

“I’ll come and get you personally when Joel’s back home, okay?” You pulled back from the embrace, cupping Ellie’s cheeks gently so that she could pull away if need be.

She simply nodded, eyes still shining with tears as she stared at you. Maybe it was her own way of coping but right now all she wanted to do was cuddle up in bed with a stuffed bear. You smiled and pressed a kiss to her forehead before letting her run off. Joel was still asleep, snoring slightly as the medicine worked its magic on his stomach. You’d make sure that Ellie could say her apologies to Joel, maybe rebuild their relationship.

For now, you were going to sit by his side and read, it was going to be a while before Joel could go back home.

[sunoorintarou]

Catharsis: Strong Hands.

Phos!reader × (Platonic) Gojo Satoru

Warnings: angsty but mostly comfort, Gojo realises just how highly the reader thinks of him, he's in his feels for a lil, self loathing, insecurities, self blaming, regret

Notes: Hoooo boy. Only posting Gojo and the reader for the next few days

Your eyes were tired, yet you ignored the calls of sleep. Standing in the middle of the training ground as you practiced. Over and over again. Strike, dodge, defend. Strike, dodge, defend.

Every time your vision blurred, you saw that God awful curse than had taken Yukio from you. Your hands shook, teeth gritting as you inhaled deeply.

How long had you been doing this? The sun had yet to rise when you began, yet now it was close to setting. Little did you know, a pair of blue eyes had not left your form once since they had found you.

"Just go talk to her." Shoko frowned, nudging Gojo with her elbow, cigarette at her lips.

"You feel guilty. You feel like this wouldn't have happened if you had gotten there faster. Well, it happened. And now she's alone because you're too much of a coward to speak to her. Remember, your team is on a mission. She has no one but you." She sighed.

You had been pushing yourself for almost a week. Since the day Yukio died, you hadn't given yourself a break. Your weakness cost you everything, and you refused to let it happen again.

The fatigue was slowly catching up to you. You hadn't been eating nor sleeping, and the weakness in your bones held no remorse.

Tears blinded your vision when you finally fell to the ground, body shaking as you tried to force it to move.

'Move.' You said, staring at your shaky hands.

'Move.'

They didn't respond, taking you back to the day you lost due to the same problem.

'Move. Move. Move!'

You were crying now, choking on your tears as your body trembled.

"Come on, you're my body, you're so supposed to move- why- why won't you listen to me? Am I the problem, if it weren't me, would Yukio-"

You were interrupted by a pair of hands so large and strong that you felt as if they could hold your entire world. They pulled you into a familiar chest, a scent so comforting engulfing you as your tears seemed to never end.

"G- Gojo - Sensei, welcome back from your mission." You sobbed, knowing you couldn't hold it together.

"Yeah, it's nice to see you again." Gojo commented, looking at the sky. He still blamed himself. He was the strongest, yet he still couldn't protect those closest to him. He was pathetic. He was weak. How could he be the strongest when he couldn't even protect Yukio... protect you. He couldn't protect anyone. Not even his own best friend.

As much as he hated to admit it, this was the reality of this cursed world, and he knew it couldn't be changed. He wanted to change, more than anything. He swore he would, so why-

"You know, Gojo - Sensei- that- that day, even after everything, when I- when I felt like everything was over, like I had nothing- when I saw you, I felt like everything would be OK. I- I know it's weird and selfish, but ever since that first day, no matter what I faced, when I saw you at the end, I felt like I was safe, like I'd be OK. Like I could get through it. Even now, it's hard, so hard I- it hurt so much I couldn't breathe- but seeing you, I feel like everything'll be OK." You cried, words muffled and broken, but Gojo had never heard anything clearer.

From the beginning, Gojo Satoru had been your strong hold, your pillar, whether he knew it or not.

From the night you saw him, while covered in your parents' blood. A man so bright, so clean, so strong. Stainless hands, so large, so strong, scooping you up as if you were a child.

Gojo Satoru had become your safe haven.

Gojo's hands trembled as he held you, holding your head against his chest as his eyes glazed over.

"I'm sorry." He whispered against your hair in a voice so soft you thought you were imagining it.

Gojo was wrong. This entire time, he had been wrong. He thought you hated him for everything. For never being fast enough to save you from what happened to your legs, to your hands, to Yukio. Yet he was so wrong. It almost made him sick.

This entire time, he hadn't been a reminder of your damnation, but rather your salvation.

And the guilt he felt knowing he had been too selfish to understand that and had left you in hear of his own feelings had him on his knees.

You were a child, as he had been once, given too much responsibility, too much pain to handle, too much regret. As a teacher, he had failed you. He has failed to protect your innocence. The shreds of childhood you had left were slipping through your fingers, and he swore he was going to get them back.

You were a child, and he was an adult. If he couldn't protect, the least he could do was be there for you when you needed.

You were so fragile, so small in his arms, crying so hard he was afraid you'd break.

He couldn't change his actions in the past, but he could change now. Holding you in his arms, he made an oath. No matter what, even if it cost him his life, he would protect his students. He refused to lose anything he cared about ever again.

He wasn't the strongest for no reason, after all.

[am-i-the-asshole-official]

AITA for telling my bff what my ex said about them?

I had broken up with my ex 6 months beforehand and didn't talk about it with anyone but my mom and therapist for that amount of time. My friends knew it effected me pretty bad but didn't pry when I just wanted to keep it private. My ex was very long distance and didn't have many friends, so I introduced her to my irl friend group so she could have some people to talk to virtually at least. I didn't want me wanting to break up be the reason for our friends to pick sides or anything like that.

Now long story short, my ex was not happy I was ending things. She got angry saying I wasn't allowed to do this, telling me how she'd lie to our friends about me to get them to leave me as alone as she was. She gave me an order of names based on how likely she thought they'd believe her. She made "rules" for the breakup that I would still have to talk to her daily and keep an eye on her mental health so she didn't "do something stupid" and how it was my fault she was like this.

I have had previous close relationships where I felt responsible for peoples lives so I agreed. I may not have wanted to be with her romantically anymore, but of course I wanted her to live and move on and be happy. Over the months I was listening to her talk about her declining mental health, her refusals to seek professional help, her angry speeches about how I was living my life, etc. One of these speeches was about my bff and about how she blamed my bff for our breakup. And how if I didn't talk to my bff I would still be dating her. (untrue of course, if anyone blame my mom and therapist lol)

One day, my bff came over for the first time in ages for some one on one time rather than a group hang out. Our schedules were always just all over the place. I listened to her tell me about some life updates, and then she brought up how weird it was that my ex had recently started dming her wanting to be closer friends. Bff made comments about how she thought it was funny because why would she want to be closer to the person causing me grief for this long.

At this point, my mind had gone through the cycles of fearing that my ex had gotten to my bff on her list of "friends to lie to to take her side" and also shock and relief that my bff was able to tell how bad my emotional state had been for months without talking to her about what happened.

I just broke down crying

After some comfort from bff, she asked if I wouldnt mind telling her what happened and I ended up telling her.

Now my bff was pissed at my ex after I told her everything. The next day she had written an angry message to my ex defending me, and told me about it. This had me panicking more because I was scared of what my ex would do.

It turned into my ex berating me for telling my friend that "she hates her" in reference to the blaming her for the breakup because it was something she didnt feel anymore (unlikely, she had told me like 2 weeks before this she still felt that way) so I was just trying to ruin her friendships. she ordered me to tell my bff i was lying about everything

I had grown so tired of this, so I said no. I told her I only told my bff the truth and she made her own opinions. I was not responsible for that. and I told her finally that I was not responsible for her at all and thought it'd be better to go no contact.

At the same time, my bff had removed my ex from our group chats (without me telling her i was gonna go non contact, but because she thought itd be good for me) and apologized for sending the message to my ex as it was just causing more drama.

It still eats me up sometimes though. Was I the asshole for telling my bff what my ex said about her? Given, I could have just told her the exact details of the breakup without what my ex said about blaming her after the fact. Given the heightened emotions of what brought the conversation up, I just let it all out.

What are these acronyms?

[redhairedwolfwitch]

Engaged To Her Goalie - Clàudia Pina x Reader

A/n: the next part of the Score A Goalie universe... enjoy! (next part will take a while)

///

March was a blur. You got ill, you got your car from Madrid, you may have given some of your Atleti teammates your illness too. Your fiancee sprained her ankle. Cata Coll returned to the pitch in the 75th minute against Valencia, and you refused to take your time in Barcelona for granted.

Having recovered from whatever bug you caught, you worked hard to improve your skills, wanting to make an impact with either Barcelona, or Atleti. You wanted to prove something you already knew, and Pina knew it too. You deserved to be first choice for a team, not fifth choice now that Cata was back for Barcelona. You didn’t notice at first, but with Cata back, Meritxell wasn’t on the squad lists anymore, and you were already aware that you weren’t on the Champion’s League squad list.

That didn’t matter however, since your fiancee was now sporting a leg brace after spraining her right ankle, taking her out of the Valencia game, and the upcoming quarter final games too. This meant that she was up in the stands watching whilst you sat on the bench talking with Gemma, or watching the away game against Roma together. 

“Stop celebrating Roma defending us!”

“I’m sorry but Roma’s goalie! It’s only 1-0, she’s on fire! Definitely the player of the match!” You declared, even with Pina’s unamused look on her face at that, even more so when she found out you were right. Roma’s goalie had been player of the match.

Whilst your fiancee was missing the El Clásico between Barcelona and Real Madrid, you were the one selected to warm up with Sandra instead of Cata, confusing you at first but you’d take any opportunity to touch the grass on the pitch nowadays.

Your fiancee was in the stands with Alexia and Mariona, the El Clásico occurring at the Johan Cruyff Estadi, but Camp Nou was next week for the second leg. 

You couldn’t sit still, watching as yellow cards were given, substitutions were made at halftime, Ingrid and Ana both coming to listen to the commentary that you and Gemma had going on. Back and forth banter, the goalkeeper union at Barcelona was strong.

You hadn’t meant to fall out of your seat, standing up to see the results of Athenea’s yellow card and Rolfö’s penalty kick, but as you went to sit back down, you missed the seat entirely. Your squeak got the bench’s attention as you scrambled to get up from where your butt had hit the ground.

“Stress of the penalty?” Ingrid asked, half joking but you shrugged.

“Penalties suck, I used to practise them so many times with Lola back at Atleti. I used to be terrified of them, now? I hate watching them but want to get the penalty over with.” You explained, fiddling with your gloves. You were supposed to get new gloves with Barcelona, with your number for the loan club, but you kept your Atleti gloves on you instead. 

Atleti held a piece of your soul, but Clàudia held another piece. You were tied to two Spanish cities in one way or another, but neither of the clubs were really fighting for you in a way you wanted to be fought for. Clàudia fought for you in a way Barcelona and Atleti did not. Atleti were focussed on only starting Lola, and Barcelona had more than enough goalkeepers. 

The energy from Camp Nou was nothing like you had ever felt before. You weren’t on the squad list for the Champions League games, but you got to sit in the stadium with Barcelona’s injured players.

Sitting with Clàudia on your right, you rested your arms on the railing, looking past her to see Mariona, and then Alexia with a fierce look on her face. You and Cata had gotten to take turns stopping Alexia’s shots since she’d joined group training again. 

“She’s less scary when she’s smiling.” You murmured, resting your chin on Clàudia’s shoulder for a moment, your lips brushing her ear before you leaned back, gesturing to Alexia at the end of the row.

“She is not scary.” Clàudia raised an eyebrow, whispering back to you so Mariona wouldn’t overhear.

“She and Jenni were so protective over you, it was scary. Also, she’s fully aware this plaster has been on too long for a ‘pancake flipping accident’.” You admitted, running your thumb over your left ring finger in thought, but Clàudia just smirked, nudging you as the music began to play, and the players started to walk onto the pitch.

The second leg match against Roma went very differently from the first leg, three goals up by halftime, you were in awe of everything, especially Mapi’s goal. You knew of Vicky Losada, and her history, so your heart ached as she was subbed off for Roma at the start of the second half. Asisat’s goal came in the same minute as the substitution.

Patri scored next, and you were half celebrating for Barcelona, half wincing for the Roma goalie, even as Clàudia elbowed you at your squeak when Roma got a goal back, taking away Barcelona’s clean sheet.

It was impossible to be quiet in a Barcelona match, but it was even more impossible in Camp Nou, cheering when Mapi was subbed off and took a victory lap walking around the pitch, and for every other Barcelona player who was subbed in and off, by the end of the match, your excitement was through the roof.

Lingering back, you watched on as the Barcelona players danced and celebrated, taking in the energy of the fans and celebrating them. You stayed back until Clàudia spotted you on the sidelines from where Sandra was giving her a piggyback ride, hurrying over to you as quickly as she could with the boot on her foot.

“¿Cómo estás?” You enquired, asking how Clàudia was doing, but she shook her head, taking your hand and guiding you further onto the Camp Nou pitch. It felt odd, an Atleti player in such a significant Barcelona stadium. Even at that moment, you were technically a Barcelona player, but when unpeeling all those layers, you didn’t originate from Atleti either.

Each club you played for held a piece of your soul, but Madrid and Barcelona meant the most to you now. Madrid for your Atleti family, and all the growth you had done there, but Barcelona gave you new challenges, and Clàudia was in Barcelona.

“Vamos!” Clàudia cheered, watching as your eyes lit up in awe of the stadium, the crowds, the players, the atmosphere. You almost didn’t want it to end.

So wrapped up in it all, you didn’t see how Patri elbowed Clàudia, gesturing to you almost to remind her.

Because whilst you had been getting your car back from Madrid, Clàudia had taken a moment to talk to Lola and Carmen in person whilst you had been distracted by Virginia. Clàudia had then taken some time in Madrid, then Barcelona as she looked for an engagement ring for you.

You had found yours for her in New York, but she wanted something significant for you. She couldn’t keep giving you plasters as a temporary fix, especially when Patri pointed out the lack of plasters in the first aid kit, and how your pancake flipping accident excuse was complete bullshit.

Now she had a ring box hidden, trying to find her moment. She almost debated it on the pitch of Camp Nou, but neither of you got to play, and the attention was far too much.

The Barcelona game against Alhama was an away game. An away game which they had chosen to rest Sandra for, instead selecting you and Cata as the goalies for the match. Clàudia was staying in Barcelona with Alexia and Mariona, plus a few other teammates who were being rested or were not required for the game.

Getting to play in the Alhama game fueled you with enough energy that you carried Bruna around on your back for as long as possible after, the younger girl enjoying the piggy back ride as you managed to hold Jana up too before tumbling to the ground playfully.

But it wasn’t just the Alhama game that fueled you, it was the knowledge that after the international break, the first game back was against Atleti at the Estadi, with Carmen’s birthday being the day before the match.

“This is going to be a long match.” You whispered to yourself, fiddling with your gloves as you watched Atleti immediately have to work defensively.

“Who do you want to win?” Lucy asked, observing you almost jump out of your seat to watch the pitch.

“Both.”

“You know both can’t win-”

“I love both teams, this is painful for me.” You hadn’t even realised you’d pulled your left glove off, fiddling with the plaster on your left ring finger as you watched each of Barcelona’s shots go into Lola’s hands, then Atleti got closer and closer to a goal only for Sandra to manage to stop it.

You couldn’t help but fly up when you saw how Ajibade and Irene had collided when Sandra went to collect the ball from out of the air.

“How does Pina sit with you flying up and down like a jack in the box?”

“I don't fly up and down- ouch,  yeah no way for Lola to get that one.” You cut yourself off as Aitana scored the first goal of the match, glancing up at the stands to spot your fiancee sat with her leg propped up, Alexia sat besides her.

Grimacing, you watched as Mapi was able to get up after going down against Moral, who had ended up with a yellow card for it, enough time going past that the halftime whistle was blown and you were following Lucy and Cata back inside.

You’d barely sat down two minutes before flying out of your seat again for Vicky’s goal at the 46th minute before Caro made it 3-0 eleven minutes later. 

Flying up, you watched as Carmen took a shot from the back but it went into Sandra’s gloves.

“Do we need to tie you to your seat?” Lucy chuckled but you rolled your eyes, watching the substitutions taking place for both teams, eventually Lucy leaving you with Cata as she was subbed on for Irene.

“They’re pacing the sidelines.” Alexia pointed out to Pina, who spotted you walking up and down watching as Shei was being treated off the pitch. Atleti had no substitutions left, so they were down to ten players until she could re-enter the pitch.

Your foot bounced against the ground as you watched Aitana’s brace goal at the 89th minute, the game concluding 4-0 after four minutes of stoppage time. The whistle had barely been blown before you flew up, catching Carmen by surprise as you tackled her into a hug.

“I missed you. Feliz cumpleaños.”

“Did you get taller?” Carmen teased, hugging you tighter as you clung to her, “I missed you too.”

Your body tensed up as another pair of arms wrapped around you both, but it only took a glance to spot the familiar Atleti goalie colours and recognise it was Lola hugging you, followed by another Atleti-clad player, who laughed as you patted her on the head after escaping the group hug.

“Been a while…” you began, but you were cut off as hands hooked your shoulders and legs wrapped around your waist leaving you to scramble to hold whoever was on your back up for a piggy back.

“When’s the wedding?” Andrea asked jokingly, but Lola and Carmen both raised an eyebrow at you, and your fiancee who had hopped up on your back, even with her leg in a protective brace.

“Uh…”

“We’ll get back to you?” You chewed your lip, ignoring your Atleti family’s gaze on you as you glanced at the plaster on your left ring finger, not seeing how your fiancee looked at it too, the best she could from her angle.

///

All of Clàudia’s hard work paid off as she was revealed to be in the full squad lineup for the game in London against Chelsea. Whilst you remained behind in Barcelona.

The place you were sharing with Clàudia and Patri was left to just you, and your setup of the Barcelona vs Chelsea first leg game on the TV.

Atleti would be playing Levante the day after, so you were stuck waiting for the livestream of the match to start with nobody to text with your thoughts on any of it. But you hoped, no, you knew, Chelsea were going to experience hell 

Caro had managed to score the first goal and only goal of the  match by the fourth minute, and whilst Clàudia was on the bench for the entire match, you were enjoying what you were watching. Even when Sandra was given a yellow card during the stoppage time that had you humming to yourself in amusement, grabbing your phone to text Clàudia about the match.

Later on in the evening, the Barcelona team returned from London, but you were nowhere to be found when Clàudia and Patri returned home.

Clàudia didn’t even blink as she located the note you had left, but she knew deep down where you had gone. You had gone to goalkeeper training with Gemma and Meritxell.

She knew it was bothering you, how much your football career was up in the air. Atleti showing no signs of rotating you with Lola, Barcelona not really needing you but giving you the training to a new standard that you thrived at.

You had a feeling that you would be sent out on loan again next season, but the question there was, how far away from Clàudia would you be? National teams didn't pass your mind anymore, so there would be no possible reunions there either.

“Atleti game?” Patri enquired, glancing at the TV to show the Atleti versus Levante game you had set up on the TV whilst Clàudia curled up next to you.

“Of course. Mi familia, or most of them anyway.” You leaned down to press a kiss to Clàudia’s forehead, making Patri roll her eyes at the two of you.

“When’s the wedding?” Patri threw a spanner in the works as you looked at Clàudia, who opened her eyes to smirk at you teasingly.

“Well my ring is a plaster and Atleti and Barça will probably unite to kill us both if we eloped so… it might be a while?” You eyed your fiancee as she smirked, unable to read her mind but she was thinking about the ring she had hidden, and how your ring finger wouldn’t have a plaster on it for much longer.

Whether Patri viewed your an answer as a joke or not was debatable, but it was the truth you told the midfielder.

“Anyway, the stream is starting so…” you fell silent at the minute of silence for Cinta’s late grandmother, feeling Clàudia tangle her fingers in yours as kickoff began.

Twenty two minutes in, Eva managed to score the first goal of the match, Patri and Clàudia amused by your celebration. You may be wearing a Barcelona shirt whilst on loan, but you adored Atleti. Ten minutes later and Atleti were two goals ahead, Lucía scoring as you celebrated with a smile.

Two minutes later, Clàudia and Patri heard you squeak as Levante managed to get the ball past Lola, the ball bouncing off the crossbar before being headed back across the goal line.

You raised an eyebrow at the commentator pointing out how Lola and Carmen had swapped roles momentarily. Carmen stood in goal whilst Lola took over a centre-back role, leaving Patri and Clàudia to watch as you got your phone out, sending a text to both of them that they would see post-match.

“Don’t you two have St George’s day celebrations to attend? Feliç Sant Jordi?” You replied, double-checking the time for the first leg match of the other semi-final that was happening this weekend.

“And what will you do?” 

“Watch Arsenal versus Wolfsburg. What else?” 

///

Camp Nou was electric as you sat up in the stands with Lucy and Emma, Pina was on the bench but you were intrigued about the entire match. Top European teams facing head to head. The wait for the first goal took Barcelona to 2-0 on aggregate, until Reiten turned the tide and sent it to 2-1.

The game ended 1-1, 2-1 on aggregate. Barcelona went through to the UWCL final. It didn’t take long for every Barcelona player who was watching in the stands to make your way down onto the pitch.

Clàudia spotted you behind Lucy, grinning as you looked around the stadium, the energy overwhelming. It was a different level to what you had felt with Atleti, the bittersweetness of the moment spiking tears in your eyes.

Clàudia hurried over to you, hiding her concern behind a grin as she took your hand, leaning into you.

“I’m okay, just… I’ve never felt such energy before, the Barcelona fans are unreal, Camp Nou is unreal-” you were cut off as fabric hit the back of your head, and the side of Clàudia’s face, the green material making you realise that a substitution bib had hit you both in the head. Alexia’s bib, that she had started swinging around her head in celebration.

Alexia had no idea what she had just interrupted, even as Clàudia gave her a playful glare and you had a stray tear going down your face, a tear that Clàudia wiped away gently.

“I finally found a ring worthy enough to use to propose to you. You may have proposed first, but this makes it equal… you don’t need to wear the plaster anymore.” Your eyes widened at what Clàudia was saying, pulling her into a hug as she leaned in so you could hear her more clearly.

“I had a better speech, but our teammates keep interrupting and it is very loud here.” Clàudia admitted but you shook your head in disbelief, holding her close to you.

“You really did score a goalie, mi amor. Now you’re engaged to one… honestly, I’m glad you got that yellow card against Atleti when you played with Sevilla. You’ve had my attention, and my heart ever since. No matter the distance.”

Clàudia opened her mouth to respond, but Patri knocked into the two of you, having been shoved by Keira after the latter had gotten down from the piggyback that Patri had been giving her on approach to the two of you.

“Te amo, my goalie.”

“Yo también te amo, my striker.”

/// Bonus scene ///

“You know, technically I didn’t propose first, I gave you a promise ring first… and I don’t know when we started calling each other fiancee but it stuck and I think we jumped from promised to engaged without realising?” You spoke into the darkness, feeling Clàudia’s body shift as your comment broke her from her sleep.

“You said the ring could be whatever I wanted. I want to marry you, so it’s an engagement ring too. Prometo casarme contigo.” Clàudia murmured, rolling over so she could hold you.

“I promise to marry you too.”

/// Bonus bonus scene ///

It was a rest day after the second leg semi-final. Or rest night, as you laid in bed with your fiancee. She was fast asleep whilst you were drifting off, lying together in the darkness. 

A panicked feeling washed over you as your body jerked you awake, something had changed, but only one word slipped from your lips in your alarmed state, waking up Clàudia in the process.

“Lola!”

[ttulipwritezz]

I was hoping to request a Regulus Black x fem!reader

Where the reader is a pure blood and Slytherin and regulus is friends with her since he was a kid.

As they grow up the reader starts finding sirius attractive, but regulus watches this from afar. Hurting silently. And he confesses too late

Idk I kinda want a sad ending 💀

a/n: I usually put these at the end but here you go. I had sm fun working on this request and honestly, I don't think I did your idea justice. I took some creative liberty and kind of changed the idea. But the dynamic remains. I hope you like this &lt;33 warnings: mention of smoking, outbursts, kissing, use of the word b@stard, I use certain words a lot so maybe it got boring. anyway, I hope you enjoy it.

Wc: 0.95k

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Unspoken Words That Linger In The Air

- Regulus Black

Y/n L/n hated smokers, ever since she was young she'd seen her father smoke at every occasion possible. The smell of secondhand smoke became so familiar to her that it was almost nauseating.

When Sirius Black became her boyfriend, elevating from best friend's Brother to long-time crush to this, it became a rather obvious detail that he had to quit smoking.

He tried, he really did, and it worked for a while. But alas it was still his go-to coping mechanism. He couldn't let go so easily.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Sirius returned from his quidditch match, in which Slytherin had won against Gryffindor, and Found his girlfriend waiting in his dorm.

the other boys were still downstairs celebrating and wouldn't be up here for a while.

"How was your match?" She spoke first.

"Great, Sorry we took a little detour before coming here, didn't wanna be here after the awful loss"

"I get it," she said with a smile.

A moment passes...then another.

Slowly...

She pulled him in by the neck, smiling only slightly before kissing him as his lips curved into a smile.

He tasted sweet..

he tasted like chocolate.

Remus's chocolate, that the werewolf always refused to share but would often somehow find missing.

He tasted like strawberry.

The strawberry-flavored taffy Lily always carried in her robes for James, oblivious to the fact that he hated strawberries, they'd often end up with Sirius anyway.

And he tasted like...

.... cigarettes.

The nauseating smell came back. It hit her senses like a bludger.

She pulled back.

"you smoked again." She stated, disappointment lacing her voice delicately.

"I thought you quit" she continued and it sounded unsure, as if she was doubting it.

"y/n I-"

"did you lie to me? Or did you just pick it up again?" It sounded broken almost but still hopeful.

She didn't let him answer and instead walked away.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

"He never listens" came the exasperated voice of Y/n as she sat on the deep green leather couch of the common room, the fire from the fireplace warming her just a tiny bit through the coldness of the space.

"I just don't understand how you are still dating him" said Regulus's cold voice, cutting through the brief silence.

"Alright regulus, he's not that awful"

"one moment you're complaining to me and the next you're defending him, great," he replied in a bored voice, seemingly done with the conversation.

"He's your brother Reg, You can't hate him forever" Her voice was calm, unlike Regulus's which seemed to be growing louder by the second.

"He's not me. And he was my brother, and I just don't understand how you can love him." His voice was stressed as if trying to prove a point.

"Merlin! What's your problem Regulus? I don't understand why you're always so against me and Sirius dating?" Her voice also started to raise, matching Regulus's tone.

"There. That. That's the problem y/n! Merlin! you're so stupid!."

"Excuse me-" Y/n tried to interrupt but was spoken over.

"No. he isn't even willing to quit smoking for you! What kind of a boyfriend is that? I quit because you asked me to." He tried to reason.

"Well, He's not you Regulus-" Again tried.

"Merlin! You don't understand. You don't understand what you do to me y/n. You don't understand how your smile makes me happy or how your tears make me sad. you don't understand how every time I see you smile because of that bastard, It hurts me. You don't understand how bad I want that bastard to be me-" His voice was broken, it sounded so hoarse and so broken.

"-You don't understand how Unconditionally and irrevocably in love with you I am."

His voice boomed through the common room, the two students playing exploding snap in the corner immediately stood up and went to their dorms.

"w-what?" she let out, as a whisper, no other sound could have escaped her.

But it did. in the form of a question.

"you love me?" It sounded stupid but she needed it said once more to believe it.

Regulus didn't say anything. He didn't need to.

An unspoken 'yes' lingered in the air.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

It was past cerfew but her feet still took her to the astronomy tower.

That's where she always went after an argument with Regulus.

It was the one place she always found solace in.

As she walked up the large stairs her feet made little to no sound. Even as they halted after seeing a familiar figure come into view.

Sirius was there, smoking again.

The soft glow from the cigarette illuminated his features in a warm light.

He looked calm.

"you're smoking again" Y/n broke the silence as she leaned against the wall of the tower similar to how Sirius had been.

"It...umm gets stressful without you around." That was an excuse of a response.

"I suppose it does even when I am around" Her reply was far from sarcastic, it was true. Highlighting the fact that she'd caught the smoke a day ago as well.

"what's the matter?" Sirius could tell something was wrong, he always did.

"I had an argument with Reg..." she replied, almost ashamed at her petty fight with her best friend.

"what about?"

"what do you think?" she retorted with a question, that was the only thing that seemed plausible.

A glint of hesitance washed over his features, a moment of guilt followed after.

"was it because of me?" it came out a little louder than a whisper, seemingly too careful.

She didn't answer, she didn't need to, she simply laid her head on his shoulder, the silence spoke for itself.

And an unspoken 'yes' lingered in the air.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

A/n: Not the proudest of this one but i like it Likes and reblogs always help<33

[starsurface]

<3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3

Regressor Reiko w/ CG Rain (Fic)

Rain was very glad that Mileena had given him a second chance. Even after his . . . accident with Havik, she had granted him mercy. Something he desperately tried to show her was a good idea. Put on close watch sure, but granted his spot back as their high sorcerer.

Reiko . . . was not too keen on the whole second chance thing.

It was weakness, granting mercy for an enemy. Letting an enemy that hates them and wished them dead in their own home? It made no sense! Shao, if he were here, would never allow this. Then again, Kitana was the General now. And Reiko was now her Lieutenant. A second in command who refused to listen . . . Unless her plan was . . decent enough. Which, unfortunately, was surprisingly more often than not.

"I can't believe they gave us a second chance!" Reiko complained as he burst into Rain's room, causing the guards at Rain's door to roll their eyes as he passed by. "It is humiliating, Rain!"

"Hello to you too, Reiko," Rain greeted, pausing his reading. "And for your information, I am quite glad they gave us a second chance."

"It is humiliating, Rain!" Reiko whined, stomping his foot. "How can you be okay with this?"

"You're stomping your foot again," Rain pointed out, returning to his book. "Are you feeling small, Reiko?"

Reiko whined again, stomping his foot. He hated being easy to read, especially from Rain. The supposed half-god and he were good friends, childhood friends at that. Both were taken in by the royal house at a young age.

"No," Reiko grumbled, walking over to Rain's bed, where the demi god was laying at. "Just thought you could use company instead of your stupid reading . . . What are you reading anyhow?"

"Book of Magic," Rain explained, showing Reiko the book. He could tell that Reiko wasn't fully regressed. He most likely began to feel small and rushed to Rain, as he usually did.

"Lots of words," Reiko grumbled, snatching the book from him. "Looks boring."

"Hey!" Rain said, going to snatch the book. Reiko giggled and stretched his hand out further. "Give that back Reiko! You're going to destroy it!"

"Will not!" Reiko complained as Rain snatched the book from him. "Hey!"

"Will too! Plus, Tanya got it for me," Rain said, getting off his bed and heading towards his bookshelf, putting his book back in it. Reiko began to get off the bed too- "Don't try it, it took forever to reorganize the last time you tried looking for a . . . picture book."

"Or Warrior Cats?" Reiko asked

"No, haven't gotten that either," Rain rolled his eyes. "I can't believe the first time you've ever been interested in my library, you wish for a children's series. I guess it makes sense, with your current headspace-"

"Raiden recommended it!" Reiko tried to defend himself. "And I not small."

"Oh so now we're taking book recommendations from the people who kicked your a- I mean, your bum," Rain teased him, receiving a glare from Reiko.

"I could take him again!" Reiko cheered, grabbing Rain's pillow and punching it. "And dis time I'd win!"

"Don't punch my pillows!" Rain complained, walking over and snatching it. Reiko huffed, rolling over and onto the floor. "Really Reiko?"

"There's nuffing to do!" Reiko complained, hiding his face in his hands. "Nuffing fun at all!"

Rain didn't like play fighting or telling outlandish stories, things Reiko liked while small. When Rain was small, he liked to be read to or go outside and make Tanya catch frogs for him. Reiko didn't complain while watching him . . . Okay, sometimes he did. But he always meant well!

Reiko had obviously come to him while small and wanting attention. Feeling more playful than usual. Rain still remembers when Reiko only came to him when he negatively regressed. Where Reiko would cuddle up to him and Rain would read Nursery Rhymes while the boy tried not to sob into his arms.

"Oh, come here," Rain sat on the edge of his bed. Reiko looked at him confused before sitting beside him. "What kind of shape do you want?"

Reiko looked confused until Rain raised his hands, forming water that flowed around them. Reiko loved this game! Rain hated using his powers for 'silly reasons', but sometimes he'd make fun shapes or let water run on Reiko's skin.

"Sphere!" Reiko decided, patting his lap excitedly.

"Alright," Rain smiled, forming the flow of water into a sphere, holding it for Reiko to see.

"Pretty!" Reiko gasped, putting his hand into the sphere, giggling as his hand got wet. He immediately tried to touch Rain's face, which Rain gently pushed his hand away. Much to the boy's dismay. He would have complained, but he'd have to splash Rain's face with water later. "Do a star!"

"Can I hear a please?" Rain smirked.

". . . Now," Reiko grumbled, crossing his arms.

"That's not even close," Rain said, but formed the sphere of water into multiple tiny stars.

Reiko gasped and tried to grab one. Whining and pouting to Rain when his hand went through it. Rain rolled his eyes and formed some of the starts into a fish.

It swam towards Reiko, kissing his nose and splashing water onto Reiko's face as the shape disappeared. Reiko laughed and clapped his hands.

"Again Rain!" Reiko demanded, tugging on Rain's shirt.

Rain eyed him.

". . . Please?" Reiko quietly added.

"Why of course," Rain agreed. "What nice manner you have, Reiko."

"Shush it!" Reiko pouted.

He went to lightly hit Rain, even though he knew it was naughty of him.

Although his anger quickly disappeared as another fish reappeared. Rain smiled at Reiko's easily distracted attention. It was easy to watch him . . . Fun even. He would have to schedule more little times with him again. . . Maybe they could even invite Havik. . Maybe.

<3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3

I wrote this before I knew Rain was just a sorcerer in MK1, that's why it mentions to him being half god!

[changbinsboiledegg]

Can I request Enha reactions to their non-confrontational gf getting in a fight? Like fist fighting/hair pulling/etc. whether the reader wins or not is up to you [=

LMAOOOOOOOO I'm sorry this is very unhinged to me. But I love it soooo let's go. Thank you for the request! 🫶

Fem! Reader x Enhypen.

Warnings: Fighting, violence ofc, blood mentions, bruises & cuts mentions, pent up anger? A bit of angst? Hurt/comfort. lmk if I missed any!

Note: I didn't know if you wanted this to be full of crack or written seriously so I chose seriously.... Kinda. Lmao. I hope you like it and that this is what you meant! ily and if there are any typos, ignore them 🫶

♥︎♥︎♥︎♥︎♥︎♥︎♥︎♥︎♥︎♥︎♥︎♥︎♥︎♥︎♥︎♥︎

Heeseung

You were pissed off, to say the least. Being a non-confrontational person, you always knew other ways to manage your anger.

Until this girl insulted Heeseung, who didn’t do anything to provoke her. You and Heeseung were on a date, enjoying breakfast.

That was until you stuck out your leg and tripped her as she fell, causing her to fall face down, stunned.

This gave you enough time to grab a fistful of her hair and yank her up onto her knees before swinging your fists into the side of her face repeatedly as bystanders— and Heeseung, watched in shock and horror.

“Hey man, get your girl!” A bystander hissed at Heeseung. Heeseung immediately shook his head. He has never seen you this pissed off before and the last thing he was going to do was get in the middle of all of your pent up anger.

“Nope. This is between them. I’m fine where I’m standing.”

You won the fight, unscathed, and with a boyfriend who secretly felt honored that you defended him, even if he does wish the situation turned out differently.

Jay

“Ow!” You seethed as Jay dabbed the wet rag as gently as he could over the cut on your cheek. As much as your bruises and cuts hurt, you were still slightly embarrassed for losing the fight against your enemy.

“I’m sorry, but I don’t want you to get any infections. Please hold still.” Jay’s tone was gentle and soothing. But he was there to witness the fight, and you could tell he wasn’t very happy about it.

You held still and kept quiet for the majority of the time that he helped you. That was until the silence felt too deafening.

“Are you mad at me?” You sheepishly asked. Jay let out a soft sigh as he applied the last bandage to your busted lip. Your face was a mess after the fight, but now it was a mess covered in bandages.

“Why did you get so angry? You’re never that angry.” Jay’s voice was still gentle as he refused to raise his voice at you.

“I don’t know. I just remember her saying something and-and it set me off.” You replied with as much honesty as you could muster. “I hated it— the anger. Not because I lost, but because it just felt very…”

“Not you?” Jay finished, cleaning up all of the bandage wrappers and bloodied rags.

You nodded, still thinking of words you meant to say, but felt Jay’s response was close enough.

Jay looked at you and put a hand on your shoulder as gentle as ever, “please tell me next time you feel yourself about to snap again.”

You nodded again, vowing to not snap like that again. At least not in front of him.

He leaned down to kiss your forehead on the part that didn’t have a bandage.

“Let’s eat something. We can talk more about this later.”

Jake

“Hey! Babe! Stop!” Jake held his hands up in surprise. You were too blind in rage, pounding your fists against your enemies face repeatedly that Jake’s voice didn’t register.

Jake looked at your enemies boyfriend, who was just as shocked as he was.

“Do something!” He yelled towards Jake. Jake tried to think of a way to get you to stop— to listen, without accidentally getting hurt in the crossfire.

Suddenly, your enemy pushed you off by jabbing her knuckle into your sternum, causing you to fall beside her, breathlessly and feeling as if your lungs had collapsed.

Now you were the one with fists being pounded into your face repeatedly.

You were on the verge of passing out when she abruptly stopped, leaving your face bloodied and sore.

“Let me go!” She screamed. Jake watched briefly in relief as her boyfriend managed to drag her off of you and away from the scene entirely. Then he rushed to your side, collapsing to his knees.

Putting his hands on either side of your face with care, he felt worried that you stopped breathing.

But then you gasped as air started to flow through your lungs regularly.

“Babe! Are you okay?! Can you speak?” Jake was close to dialing for emergency services when you forced yourself to sit up, using your sleeve to wipe some of the blood off of your face, only to wince.

“Jake?” Your voice was weak and raspy. Jake put his arm around you to assist you.

“Yes, love?”

“Did I win?”

Sunghoon

Sunghoon was surprised to see how aggressively you fought back when a group of girls tried to jump you. He was even more surprised to see that his non-confrontational girlfriend had won against all three of them.

You clenched your bloodied knuckles, feeling the soreness taking over. Quickly, you marched over to Sunghoon, grabbed his hand, and pulled him after you as you fled the area.

Sunghoon didn’t say a word, not knowing what to say.

He wasn’t sure if you were still angry or if you were in pain, but he kept quiet until you both got to your place. You quickly locked the doors and went to the bathroom, leaving him standing in your living room.

Sunghoon knew he should ask about what happened eventually. He made his way to the bathroom, hearing the sink running and the door was open ajar.

You hissed, wincing as the water washed off the blood from your bruised knuckles.

Sunghoon opened the door and took your hands in his to examine the damage done.

“I didn’t know you could fight like that.” He commented and reached for the first aid kit under the sink. You lightheartedly chuckled.

“I never had the opportunity before.”

Sunghoon raised his eyebrows in surprise but kept quiet and wrapped two bandage wraps around your knuckles, trying to be helpful. You watched, feeling the anger fading away as you watched your boyfriend helping you.

Sunoo

You managed to get one swing in before the other girl ran away in fear. You huffed, shaking your sore fist to try and alleviate it.

“Um.” Sunoo cleared his throat, hesitantly walking close to you after previously standing back far enough to avoid getting hit during the short-lived fight.

“Yeah?” You turned to him, speaking in a soft tone. You felt a bit of guilt that he had to witness your rage like that. Even if it was for a minute.

Sunoo never thought he would see you punch someone. He didn’t think he’d see you do as little as yell at someone, you were always non-confrontational.

“What… was that about?” He asked, glancing from you and to the direction the girl ran off to. You took a deep breath, rubbing your knuckles.

“I’m so sorry you had to see that.” You apologized, seeing the shock on his face. If you overanalyzed it, you could see a bit of disappointment.

“You didn’t answer my question.” Sunoo slightly frowned. You gently nodded, “she was my enemy back in school. I just didn’t think she’d hold onto our rivalry for this long.”

Sunoo was still confused but then again, he heard what your enemy said to you before you swung your fist into her cheek.

“Just… Please, don’t fight again. Please?”

You felt bad. You never wanted to disappoint him like this. So you agreed.

“I promise. Never again.”

Jungwon

“Hey, it’s okay to cry. You did get hurt.” Jungwon tried to soothe you as you sat in your bed, crying.

But not because the bruises and cuts you received hurt. You were crying because you lost.

In front of Jungwon. And the small crowd that surrounded when the fight broke out.

You were crying from embarrassment and you’ve ultimately decided you could never show your face in that area again.

“Let’s have a movie night. You can pick the movie. I will buy snacks. Okay? Let it all out first.” Jungwon suggested, a caring— yet concerned smile on his face. You felt better knowing he wasn’t entirely mad at you.

Not anymore, at least. He hated seeing you fight. You never fight. Not even with words. He hated it more that you got hurt.

“Okay…” You sniffled, wiping your eyes, careful not to touch the bandages that stuck to your face.

Jungwon seemed relieved when you stopped crying.

“Good. Now please, never fight again. You could’ve gotten even more hurt.” Jungwon gently took your hand in his.

“You also can’t fight.”

“Hey!” You widened your eyes, feeling the embarrassment seep in again.

“Sorry! But your timing was all off.” Jungwon sheepishly chuckled.

And you let it slide, knowing he was right.

Niki

When the fight broke out, Niki stepped back immediately, confused and surprised, not wanting to get in the middle.

He watched, wide eyed and a bit in awe seeing you fight. With how heavy you landed your punches, he wasn’t worried about whether you’d be the one needing a ton of bandages and possible medical help.

But he was worried about you getting into trouble for this and even though he was in awe, he didn’t like the sight of you being angry and aggressive like this.

Even if the other girl started it and technically, it would be self defense on your part.

After a few long second, Niki swallowed back a gulp, “okay, enough—”

He stopped speaking when he saw the girl’s boyfriend angrily stomping towards you, his fist clenched. Her boyfriend was planning to stop you himself.

Even if that meant needing to hit you to get you off.

Niki knew you could take this guy too. But you weren’t aware of your surroundings, only of your target.

Niki scoffed, picking up a decently sized rock nearby and raising it in the air as if he were about to throw it.

“Try it.” Niki projected his voice, causing the boyfriend— And you, to stop.

You saw what Niki was about to do— throw the rock at the guy. You quickly got up and ran to Niki, taking the rock out of his hand and fleeing the area with him.

Note 2: I'm sorry, Niki's was lowkey based off of a dream where it was on sight for everyone because someone ate the leftovers he saved.

[anangelwhodidntfall]

I need some Neteyam x Socorro!daughter headcannon after reading your dad!quaritch stories about them! Maybe some about them together as human and some about them together after she becomes Na'vi

AS HUMAN: 

-Childhood sweethearts, obviously. Neyetam was the first to fall through, while Reader still struggle to admit to herself that she had a crush on her best friend.

-Neteyam didn't care that she was human, he only saw her and thought she was the prettiest thing he saw as she started to grow and develop more into her adult features and as for the reader she always thought Neteyam was beautiful.

-They both loved exploring Pandora together just the two of them. He loves the way her eyes light up when he takes her somewhere new. 

-She loves to fly with him on his ikran, it's her favorite thing in the world to either sit behind him with her wrapped around his waist or in front of him with his wrapped around hers as they fly

-Now the reader is about 5ft and Neteyam is about 8ft, so she constantly struggling to keep up with him, so sometimes he'll just let her climb on his back so he doesn't have to worry about losing her or her feet hurting her from all the walking they do. Plus he loves when he gets to carry her around

-He loves when she learns how to do his hair or how to help treat his wounds. She thinks it's cute how he thinks she so fragile and how worked up he gets when she does something stupid with Lo'ak. 

-He also loves how small and shy she gets whenever he kisses her cheek or brings her flowers. She loves when she tells him how good he did on a hunt or whatever, how happy and shy he gets. 

-He loves that even though she didn't have a relationship with her dad or the fact that she and Jake are close, she still listens to his rant about his dad with open ears and tries to help him in what way she can. 

-She loves that he comes to the lab just to spend more time with her when she wants to take her mask off and can't be outside

-She hates that she has to go back to the lab to take her mask off if she wants to kiss him or something, and he finds it adorable. 

-he loves that despite her being human, she has no problem attempting to fight people half her size. She loves that Neyetam waits for her signal before stepping in and defending her. 

-when her dad came back, he was worried for her, and she loved that he gave her time to figure out and deal with that without overstepping. 

-he doesn't trust Quaritch at first, but he does attempt to make nice once he sees that reader is giving him a chance 

-was a mess when she got kidnapped, it took everything neteyam had him not to go after right away. The second she was rescued, he kept her by his side, refusing to let her go.

AS NA'VI: 

-When she successfully transferred to an avatar, he was so happy! His baby wasn't such a danger to herself anymore, wait that's a lie....she loves to give him even more heart attacks now 

-He misses her being 3ft shorter than him and having to carry her everywhere and she misses being carried by her mate, so sometimes she'll ask him if he can carry her and he happily agrees every time

-They love flying together, when she got to choose her Ikran, he was nervous but was the proudest person ever when she made the connection right away

-Sometimes when they don't want to talk, they will connect their queues and just let each other feel their emotions which helps them make a deeper bond.

-She loves that she can kiss him without that stupid mask being in her way and takes full advantage of it, loving how shy Neyetam gets until he turns the tables on her. 

-He loves that he can just lean his head against hers, kiss her, or just touch her cheeks without the mask in the way, he loves being able to love on her extra more now. 

-She officially becomes his mate even though she was always before but now it's official, and after the ceremony, he refers to her as his wife whenever he gets the chance.  

-Helps her get adjusted to being a full Na'vi now, always gentle and patience with her whenever she doesn't nail something on the first time. 

-one of his favorite things is to watch her just run and be free with his siblings without a care in the world, even if she and Lo'ak give him 20 heart attacks a day from how reckless they are.