#but that's bc it's their business and desires etc

[callixton]

i genuinely don't know what changed where i experience active romance repulsion so much now but like. goddamn that shit is not for me. good to know! important to know these things about yourself!

[inklingofadream]

not having a campaign website + profile through the state voter info site is almost always a disqualifier, but for the rare double whammy, be sure to have a heavy, unconnected internet presence revealed when i google your email where you are revealed to be 1) an insane bigot and 2) as seen on TLC

[snekdood]

unfriendly reminder to humans:

animals dont exist for you.

[cruelsister-moved2]

race science on the dash very cool 👍😭

[johnbleepingzoidberg]

im in a dilemma. i know this is kinda dumb since im literally only technically a few months into this job, but i just. dont know how i feel doing this shit for the rest of my life lmao. there's always the possibility that im just feeling this way because im not really good at it yet, and i know that there's also the possibility of me really liking the job once i get further into it and get a little more competent and used to the schedule but auhghh. the temptation to just quit and do something else is so strong looool. i just feel stupid all the time and like ill never be able to actually fully grasp and understand the concepts that seem to come so naturally for everyone else i work with in order to further my career and Get Gud. though at the same time. i am extremely fortunate to be in the position im in and doing what i do so i feel like i shouldnt complain and like im just being whiney ahfksbgkdbhg. all very possible. doesnt make things any less draining or upsetting tho.

i wish i were still in school. or like. i could go back in time and shake past-me's shoulders like "hey. you idiot. you hate this career field. you hate what you're doing. you are not happy. get out"

i have been fantasizing about going back and just. starting over. and doing a neuro/english double major and going into medical technical writing, or technical writing in general. i just wanna write. i wanna know what it's like to make writing my career. and i feel particularly called to the medical field so that would be a good way to fulfill that urge without being a doctor or a nurse or something.

but then. u kno. theres an alternate universe where i Have this fantasized job. and im making this Exact same post but complaining about how much i hate medical writing and wish i stayed in accounting ahfksbfkdbg. grass is always greener

anyway. this is all making me feel very dead inside

[sameteeth]

i hate emailing teachers. yeah sorry i havent been to class in a week theres something deeply wrong with me. nothing u can do about it though pls dont call a wellness check

[songofwizardry]

r/ukvisa is a treasure trove of useful info and experience and has saved me so many times by digging up home office policies buried on the website that could get a visa rejected but boy does it not take a lot for several people on that sub to throw disabled people/"illegal" immigrants/asylum seekers/the entire concept of taxation and socialised healthcare/etc under the bus

[kelseytheballerina]

Reflections on building a better me

Exercise is not optional. Mental satisfaction from completing yet another workout cannot be overstated. Physical satisfaction from feeling good and enjoying your body in clothes, the mirror, and photos cannot be overstated. Stop messing around, stop info hoarding, go exercise. And tomorrow. And the next day. And the next day. And the next day.

Looking your best depending on circumstances (ie, casual, dressy, bedtime, etc) is not optional. External confidence from taking care of your appearance top to bottom and loving what you see in the mirror is highly valuable.

You feel better when you eat better. You’re proud of yourself when you eat better.

Hobbies, hobbies, hobbies. Do you feel embarrassed when someone asks what you do all day and you can’t come up with an honest answer that doesn’t make you sound like a loser with no life? You need hobbies. Some that are outdoors, some that are indoors. Some that are taxing, some that are relaxing. You will enjoy life more, become a more well-rounded individual, and have positive ways to spend your time rather than racking up more hours on your phone. Get some hobbies. Plural.

Procrastination and laziness should disgust you. You shouldn’t be able to relate. You should strive to be above that. You like yourself better when you complete your tasks and get things done in a timely manner. You’re proud of yourself when you’re on a roll and have a productive streak. You’re impressed by productive people and no one likes a lazy bum.

Decide what you want from life and pursue it ruthlessly. Don’t take advice from people who don’t have the life you want, unless they were once on your desired path and fell off. Even then, you listen to them when they say what NOT to do (learning from their mistakes) but clearly they don’t know what TO do bc they didn’t make it to the finish line. Take “do this” advice from people who crossed the finish line and have what you want. You’ll find that the amount of input that is actually valuable to you has suddenly dwindled. Good. Less chatter in your ears.

Get yourself in order before you go around critiquing everyone else. Get YOUR face in order. Get YOUR body right. Get YOUR money up. Get YOUR style in order. Get YOUR relationship together.

Stop coming to everyone for validation like a toddler. Validate yourself. Do you like it? Okay then. Are you over it? Okay then. Stop being so weak. Stand tall, lead yourself. Stop being such a follower.

Be a good person. Help your family, lend a hand to strangers, give back, say sorry, do things for loved ones just because, show affection, work things out, watch your mouth, speak respectfully, remember that the world owes you nothing. Stop being an insufferable freak.

You can’t change anyone but yourself. Get yourself in order and be a good role model. That’s all you can do. Give people advice when they want it and then go about your business. Get yourself in order. Get yourself in order.

Outrage content is the lowest form of entertainment. Engage in things that make you happy or educate you. Doom scrolling only leads to doom. Don’t like this person? Don’t click on their articles or videos. Unfollow and block. Don’t like these people? Leave their spaces. You don’t have to be outraged every day.

Always keep your word to yourself. Make a plan, stick to the plan, always deliver. If you can’t be reliable for yourself then who can you be reliable for?

[minkiverse]

PARK SEONGHWA FIC RECS

Poly!Ateez Pt. 1 - Pt. 2 - Kim Hongjoong - Jeong Yunho - Kang Yeosang - Choi San - Song Mingi - Jung Wooyoung - Choi Jongho

HWA TIME!! A man who is so earth shatteringly gorgeous of course gets written incredibly by atiny 😩 like this man is just art!! As always, I hope you enjoy and support these authors!!

Dividers by @iluvpooks

DISCLAIMER none of these works are mine and majority are MATURE 18+, please read all warnings before reading!!!

Key:

✨ - My Favs

🔥 - Smut (MINORS DNI)

⛈️ - Angst

💗 - Fluff

🍑 - Humor

SERIES

New Horizons - @fivestar-outlaw 🔥⛈️💗 Idol AU

this is just the cutest series!! like meeting him through animal crossing is the most adorable meet cute i want to cry 😭😭 we all deserve a lil bit of delusion as a treat asfgdssfgdf

The Way to His Heart - @edenesth ⛈️💗Joseon Period ✧ Arranged Marriage AU

im a big BIG fan of historical au's and i just loved reading hwa falling for the mc and then doing everything he can to destroy the people that hurt her 😩😩 that kind of devotion is just soooooooo attractive😍😍 it kinda reminds me of the anime My Happy Marriage (which i did not finish OTL) but if you enjoyed that i think you will love this~~

Wallflower pt. 2 pt. 3 pt. 4 - @tenelkadjowrites 🔥⛈️💗 Office AU

seonghwa is mc's nerdy coworker but boy can he fuck 😩😩😩 the smut in this is 🤌🤌 but honestly this fic is so much more than that and how the mc changes and grows as a person because of hwa's influence is so enjoyable to read i just love them 🥹🥹

Sans - @songmingisthighs ⛈️💗🍑 SMAU ✧ Childhood Friends AU

this author really knows how to break my heart 😭😭😭 definitely be aware of trigger warnings for some chapters!!! but this fic was also so wholesome?? like i just love the mc and how they grow from the events of the story 🥹🥹 SPECIAL SHOUTOUT TO SAN AND WOO!!!!

ONE SHOTS/DRABBLES/ETC

sycophant - @ncteez ✨🔥 Business AU

there will always be boss x employee fics BUT this take on it 🤌🤌🤌 hwa is just so attractively straight forward and him teaching the mc on how to dom him is truly just so fucking hot i could scream 😩😩

Untitled - @thetypingpup 🔥 Hybrid AU

The Thing About Pretty Boys - @wonusite ✨🔥 Friends to Lovers AU

never say seonghwa can't fuck.... or maybe do bcs this man goes fucking feral 😵‍💫😵‍💫 i had like a full body physical reaction to how hwa is written in this fic 😩😩 like this is so filthy in the hottest way possible

Dune - @hongism 🔥 Outlaw AU ✧ Biker AU

Untitled - @orgverse 🔥 Sci-fi AU

Warning Signs EP. 1: The Showman - @mphountitled 🔥Rebellion AU

Everyday at the Bus Stop - @tenelkadjowrites 🔥💗

persistent desire - @bro-atz 🔥 College AU

Untitled - @k-hotchoisan 🔥

Red Dress - @wooyoungiewritings ✨🔥⛈️💗 Enemies to Lovers AU

i love a holiday/winter themed fic ok sue me 🫵🫵 its just COZY and this hwa drives me up the wall 😩😩 he's such a charming lil shit and the banter is soooooo good 🫠🫠 i looooooooove this couple!!!!!!!

Scattered bunny!seonghwa thoughts - @thetypingpup 🔥 Hybrid AU

Morning sex with Seonghwa - @k-hotchoisan 🔥

Untitled - @sxcret-garden 🔥

realistic sex with seonghwa - @byuntrash101 🔥

VIP Access - @hwashotcheeto 🔥 Idol AU

multiple??? - @lomlhwa 🔥 Hybrid AU

I Can See You - @daemour 🔥⛈️💗 Single Father!Hwa

Untitled - @thetypingpup 🔥 Hybrid AU

heavy and sticky - @k-hotchoisan 🔥

Untitled - @cheollipop 🔥

Untitled - @thetypingpup 🔥

belong to me - @ateezscupid 🔥⛈️ Idol AU

Untiled - @thetypingpup 🔥 Dragon!Teez ✧ Sugar Mommy AU

Untitled - @bombuni 💗

Honest (But Happy) Accident - @ad0rechuu 💗College AU

amazing grace - @yoongiseesawmp3 🔥⛈️💗 Church Boy!Hwa

Untitled - @thetypingpup 🔥 Bad Boy!Hwa

paradigm - @yoongiseesawmp3 ✨🔥 Bartender AU

switch!hwa nuff said 🤤🤤🤤 no but how this author does banter is just so good like idk even know how explain it because it feels so natural and charming and the smut is so fucking good like im in love with hwa and the mc ?????

The Heart's Filthy Lesson - @tenelkadjowrites 🔥⛈️ Toxic BFF!Hwa

Untitled - @hee0soo 🔥

Damnation of a Saint - @byuntrash101 🔥 7 Deadly Sins AU

My Little Empress - @holybibly 🔥 Historical AU ✧ Arranged Marriage AU

the lamb and the wolf - @seonghwaddict 🔥💗 Hades!Hwa

Make Me Water - @bangtanintotheroom 🔥 Friends to Lovers AU

Untitled - @thetypingpup 🔥 Cyberpunk AU

mirror mirror on the wall, who's the filthiest of them all - @almightyddeonghwa 🔥 Idol AU

boyfriend texts - @beenbaanbuun 🍑

[homicidal-lingonberry]

a thought about kabru and mithrun and their time in the dungeon. (I love kabumisu but this is more about their canon relationship)

I have seen several people say that they dont think that kabru really cared about or liked mithrun. that he was just doing things cause he had to, etc. but I feel like this ignores something pretty cool about kabru. Kabru always has an inner monologue going on, one that we get to see.

several times when we see kabru doing nice things we can see that his inner monologue doesnt actually match. we see him kindly doing things that actively distress him several times. we as an audience are made very aware when kabru is doing something he doesnt really like.

so what kind of an inner monologue does kabru have when he performs caring tasks for mithrun? does he think about the advantages of having mithrun or the canaries on his side? does he think bitterly of mithrun? does he think about how much he hates this? the worst he thinks is "to think I'd get roped into this for the sake of that lot." and "this isnt seeing to his needs, this is nursing!" pretty early on in their journey together. this is while he is still digesting the full picture of mithruns condition and all the things hes going to need to do, the full weight of the situation now apparent.

after this, all we see is compassion. him thinking he would like to make mithrun something nice to eat, even if it wouldnt matter to him. him empathizing and reflecting on how not having desires would be really rough. him coming to understand where some of mithruns quirks, like his sense of direction, come from.

by the end, he has trusted mithrun enough to tell him about laios, and mithrun has given him all the information he has been searching for for YEARS.

and this is just the dungeon. kabru continues to involve himself with mithrun when its not his problem anymore. when really, he should be doing anything but. and after everything is done, if he truly did not care about mithrun, he has NO reason to do anything he does in chapter 94.

they are FRIENDS okay??? Kabru cares about him. it isnt just obligation. ty.

as far as mithrun goes, he gives kabru information, he asks him what he wants to do with that little smile (doesnt wait for his squad), slaps him out of his panic attack, and then kabru is the person he eventually confides his true desire to.

theyre FRIENDS and Im tired of people acting like they dont even like each other just bc they dont like the ship. you dont have to ship it, but if you think these 2 didnt drastically change each others lives in a positive way and that they dont care about each other...you maybe need to read again.

and also I think a lot of these takes veer on dehumanizing mithrun. like how could kabru even like him or see him as a friend when hes like that. like do yall forget mithrun was busy keeping kabrus ass from getting killed. or the way he perceptively sees straight through kabrus bs every single time until kabru finally tells the truth? I know kabrus confession to laios is a lot more emotionally intense, but laios isnt the only character that forces kabru to be honest.

[princessjojo-x]

8th House Synastry

if second house is self sufficiency, eight house is merging with another. platonic or sexual, there’s a depth that pervades the connection & binds the partners together, for better or worse. within this emotional, intoxicating & sometimes frightening rxship, everything is felt too much & seems more intense than it should. even a simple glance can send shivers down one’s spine, even small disputes will be hard to forgive & forget. the potency of this aspect can be felt the moment partners meet & will intensify the more partners get to know one another. the connection becomes much deeper than partner’s anticipated; they planned to have a noncommittal & fun arrangement, but they suddenly want to have an official rxship & hate when that cant be fulfilled. partners feel like they need to see each other & need to always have each other by their side. partners will feel urged to change their life path (career, location, etc) just to be aligned & interlocked with the other. it’s hard for partners to just be “cool” or “superficial” with each other bc interactions with one another have a very intense undertone. if partners can handle the intensity, this connection can undoubtedly lead to bonding at the deepest level, addictive attachment & soulmate connections. on the bright side, that guarantees high s3xual chemistry & physical attraction. on the flip side, partners may experience obsessive & controlling behaviour.

if the attraction isn’t mutual, it will (1) feel painful & devastating, (2) lead you to act in ways you never thought you’d act (stalking, possessiveness, delusion, etc). but if the attraction is mutual, it can lead to a beautiful & long lasting rxship, with plenty of life lessons & genuine devotion.

since this is such an intense connection, it is difficult for partners to leave each other completely. whenever partners try to move on, there is a sense of being haunted (which is amplified if accompanied by twelve house synastry). for example, you accidentally bump into their friends or family, you see their name eveywhere, you hear the songs they like, you find people with similar faces to them. being constantly reminded of them is why it’s so hard to let them go.

if second house is our self esteem, eight house is our weak spot. forget small talk & superfical relations bc this is where secrets reside. partners unknowingly uncover each other’s rawest layers. even if one is too scared of revealing themself, the other can read them like a book anyway. even if one is typically not the type to disclose their business, they will naturally share their whole life story with the other. partners will be able to open up completely & be understood in a way they never have before. partners bond by delving beneath the tip of the iceberg, unveiling each-others deepest wounds, fears & desires. on the downside… (1) this can become their only point of attraction to one another, whilst their other basic needs for a rxship are not met. (2) many people can't handle this synastry bc its so invasive & overwhelming. this house governs the deep parts of ourselves that we want to keep hidden. when those parts are seen we feel vulnerable. (3) partners know exactly what to say to either bring up or take down each other.

it's in the darkness that we find the light & it's in the intensity of these rxships that we find our true selves. these rxships are always fated & transformative. partners involvement with each other will drastically change both of them, regardless of if it benefits the relationship or not. they meet each other to teach each other a lesson they’ll never forget. even though the transformation process can be utterly harsh & traumatic, it produces a new & improved version them. similar to a major surgery, it fixes the problem within but definitely leaves a scar, so you remember the pain of the recovery process. interestingly, partners usually find each other when one or both of them is at rock bottom

eight house governs our inner power. planet is able to easily see everything house is capable of. this breeds a rose coloured glasses effect. planet perceives house as more attractive, scary, important, etc than house actually is. but this may cause planet to feel intimidated, threatened & jealous. planet’s envy of house provokes planet to gossip or betray house. on the other hand, planet may feel fascination & admiration for house, which causes planet to talk abt house a lot & house can even become embeded in planets subconscious - this is where the infamous obsession & attachment comes from. planet may become obsessed with houses hidden side which prompts planet to cross a lot of houses boundaries. for example, planet going through houses phone or diary. when healthy, planet could have a desire to empower house or planet could feel more empowered around house. houses presence could help planet feel like they can get through anything. when unhealthy, planet feels powerless around house & wants to prove themselves to house. either way, house definitely has immense power over planet & planet is aware of this. what the power struggle is abt depends on the planet. for example, venus causes a power struggle over who’s the most popular, beautiful, wealthy etc. initially, planets obsessive nature makes house feel triggered & disturbed. eventually, house becomes intrigued & attracted to planet.

since this is the house of taboo, the attraction may be wrong in some way & the rxship feels forbidden even if it’s not. it may be a secretive dynamic where nobody knows they’re together or people wouldn’t expect them to be together. this aspect almost always involves blessings disguised in suffering, so it’s not best placement for synastry, unless its backed up by stronger & more grounded placements. one subconsciously sees the other as a blessing delivery or redirection to their life, even if they’re being mistreated & the rxship is toxic. it can even be an enemies to lovers dynamic or a love/hate rxship that hurts so good. this is an all or nothing rxship which flows deep enough to hurt or heal both partners. partners will have the highest of highs together & the lowest of lows together. it will either cause everlasting love or everlasting trauma.

if second house is the sugar daddy, eight house is the sugar baby. partners may feel urged to give or gain from one another. it's advised to connect with someone you have this synastry with if they have a higher position than you professionally or materially so you can learn from them & gain from the rxship.

(virgo/libra/sag asc or aquarius placements)

Rising

this aspect brings intense intimacy. house disliking rising or may have heard a bad rumor abt rising. but once house gets to know/talks to rising for the first time, house will become completely smitten with rising (or vice versa). rising helps house explore harsh topics with more ease & offers an encouraging perspective to house. house can refer to rising as their rock & house admires risings strength. however, house may resent rising for their courageous nature & perceive it as too impulsive.(aquarius or sagittarius asc)

Sun

initially, house may underestimate sun. house may perceive them as weak or not take them seriously. eventually, sun will show that they’re more powerful than house thought. sun may make house feel overshadowed or insecure & consequently house copies suns mannerisms. also, usually one partner finds the other too intense, invasive & off-putting.(aquarius sun/virgo asc)

Moon

if there’s no physical attraction between partners or there’s many bad aspects, this connection can become extremely annoying. if partners become enemies there will be no boundaries in regards to what they will do to take each other down.

whether they are lovers or enemies, there is no denying house provokes something so intense within moon & moon feels deep emotions when in the company of house. this can manifest as compulsive desire for s3x, possessiveness, power, etc.

moon becomes fascinated with house emotionally & sexually. moon perceives house as a secret they can never solve. moon needs to know everything abt house & moon will even cross some boundaries to dig up houses secrets. moon either doesn’t realise or doesn’t care abt how weird this behaviour may seem. despite house being attracted to moon too, house feels constantly analysed by moon. moon feels the need to spend a lot of time with house or to constantly keep tabs on house. moon can be too obsessed with house & very controlling over how house expresses themselves. moon can turn this obsession into a dislike, becoming houses biggest hater, competing with house, gossiping abt house, etc. this behaviour can be be very one sided on moons part & house senses the power they have over moon.

there is always a fear of vulnerability from both partners within this synastry. partners always feel what the other feels.

sexually, comfort is key for both partners. usually moon will be quite submissive & favourable towards house. moon seek more foreplay & deep-talk.

partners may break up only to reconnect years later bc of their compulsive desire for each other, which may seem to fade temporarily, but it always comes back & is never satisfied (aquarius moon or virgo asc)

Venus

mars here produces masculine energy but venus here produces feminine themes. therefore, expect frequent occurrence of manipulation, guilt trips, pettiness & emotional outbursts. additionally, partners can become competitive with each other once they break up; for example, dating new people straight away just to spite one another!

partners feels like they have strong chemistry before they even know each other well! initially, venus feels both attracted & scared of house. venus embodies pluto traits & behaves more tense. there is a mystery surrounding house that venus can't seem to wrap their head around.

eventually, venus will have grow immense loyalty towards house. venus will feel urged to financially support houses lifestyle. venus finds so much beauty in the things house is usually ashamed abt. venus person can feel very possessive/obsessive over house & even forget the bad things house does simply bc the love is so overpowering, which will be amplified if venus is insecure in any way.

s3x will not be the “one-night stand” type. it will be intense, aggressive, intimate & emotionally deep, affecting both partners. s3x-wise, venus will be able to create a new experience for house every time & venus will drastically transform house views on sex.

there may be a lot of secrets shared/kept in this rxship or the rxship itself may remain a secret from the public eye. (aquarius venus or libra asc)

Mars

mars feels intensely infatuated & drawn to house. mars feels a strong desire to bond & merge with house. mars views house as a guilty pleasure & mars is constantly observing house (in a scorpion way). mars feels such a sense of urgency to conquer house, mars may do impulsive things just for houses attention, including gifting or surprising mars. since mars feels very thrilled & adrenalized by house, mars often expresses random & intense bursts of needing to physically touch or be in close reach to house. mars can take on a very intense energy when around house that others will pick up on but the sheer depth is something that’ll always only exists between the two partners. mars doesn’t forget abt house easily bc house literally changes mars’s life. the rxship may be difficult to end bc mars will be persistent in continuing the rxship.

initially, house feels scared & timid towards mars. mars has such a straightforward, pushy, dominant & rushing approach. house needs to see progress before completely losing their restraint & expressing their feelings. however, house simultaneously feels extremely sexy, mesmerised & aroused by mars’s raw desire.

conversations between the two are very 1-on-1 even if they’re in a group setting. both feel like they have such strong chemistry & s3xual tension before they even know each other well. it’s so powerful that even others can feel it. this can cause partners to operate more on instincts & lack awareness of basic emotions. theres a strong need for physical intimacy & touch. for example, gentle touching or outright fighting. s3x if ever allowed can easily become addictive bc it’s so intense. partners have s3x like the world is going to end, possibly in forbidden places or secret spots. the s3x involves a lot of teasing, power plays, hair pulling, helping each other masturbate & holding each other as close as possible. s3x is use as form of escapism, a release of pent up feelings & a strong way to show the care between the two. you can expect mars to initiate the sexual contact as soon as possible & mars will ensure to go all out for house in the bedroom.

theres a lot more masculine themes & energy here compared to ‘venus conjunct eighth house’. despite partners feeling intrigued & excited for each other, there’s possibility of heavy feelings for one another, like frustration or hate. one day they love each other, the next day they want to avoid each other. traumas can show through this rxship, like deep talks at night or triggering each others deep wounds. they like to pull each other, but neither takes the bait. (libra asc or aqua mars)

[myokk]

I had so much fun writing this up as I drank my coffee this morning, thanks for making the templates @kiwiplaetzchen 🥹🙏

A little bit of backstory for Eloise - I’ll do an actual drawing etc etc in the future but for now if you’re interested!!:

Eloise has a brother, Leonard (Leo) who is a year older than her (I want to draw him soon!!) and her parents are both (unfortunately 😔🙏) still very much alive. If the family had continued to the 1930s, they would DEFINITELY have been part of the Sacred 28, making it the Sacred 29 instead. Her father was an only child so he inherited everything, and her mother is Elladora Babbit née Black, the woman who started the Black family tradition of beheading useless house elves😭 (and yes unfortunately that makes Headmaster Black Eloise’s uncle😫).

Eloise was kept a secret from the rest of magic society her whole life. In my imagination, the pureblood families have so much inbreeding amongst themselves that it’s not uncommon for them to give birth to squibs. Part of pureblood culture is not announcing they’ve given birth to a child until they’ve shown signs of magic - normally around 3/4 years old at most. When Eloise never showed ANY signs of magic, she was just their shameful secret. On her eleventh birthday when it was all but confirmed she was a squib, she was burned off the family tree and spent the next five years at a muggle finishing school. Always looking to take advantage of whatever they could get, however, Eloise’s parents arranged a marriage between her and the firstborn son of a wealthy muggle landowner when she came of age.

Her family had no idea that she was admitted to Hogwarts (they cut off all ties to her and disowned her) and Leo, who had always been fiercely protective of her growing up was simultaneously devastated and ecstatic that he could see his sister again. It’s been really hard to repair the relationship though, as there is a lot of resentment that they cannot get over even though they want to😭. And, for as much as her parents dictated everything about how her life has gone, Eloise can’t help but try to work hard to get their love and approval as it’s all she ever thought she wanted. And now that she’s in a position to become the daughter they’ve always desired, she feels a lot of resentment towards herself. She feels as if she’s betraying the young girl who was abandoned by her family, because she wants their approval so badly (it will take a while for her to get over this😔🙏)

In terms of the personality I did it a bit like the sims where I just max things out bc I think everything in the middle is boring jajajaja. But:

Shy: not shy in the sense she can’t talk to other people and she isn’t necessarily socially awkward. She just doesn’t always know what to say and will remain silent if she thinks she has nothing to add to a conversation instead of yapping away (BUT unfortunately rambles and over explains herself to not be misunderstood when she does talk, THANKS narcissistic mother), and normally she wishes people would ignore her. When the Daily Prophet article came out about her “miraculous” recovery and introduction to magical society she HATED it & she HATES all of the people trying to talk to her and befriend her.

Active: NOT active as in super energetic. She just wakes up really early and always needs to keep herself busy. She gets anxious if she doesn’t have anything to do - but, she includes thinking as doing something, and often retreats into her thoughts and doesn’t realize when people are talking to her.

I think grouchy and nice can exist together so with this one I put it in the middle. She’s both simultaneously😭

Aaaand with cowardly/brave, she thinks she is really cowardly for going back to her parents so easily and wanting their love so badly, and hates herself for it (not realizing it’s an accumulation of a lifetime of emotional trauma). But lots of times when things get very high-stakes she will jump in and do incredibly reckless things without thinking of the consequences, although if she stopped to think before she acted she would definitely NOT do them. So maybe brave in actions, cowardly on the inside (IDK)

If you read all of this I love you!! I want to share more about her but this was getting crazy long jajajajajajaja😇🙏

[torasplanet]

❝𝙄 𝘽𝙀 𝙇𝙊𝙊𝙆𝙄𝙉 𝘼𝙏 𝙃𝙀𝙍 𝙏𝙃𝙄𝙉𝙆𝙄𝙉' 𝙏𝙃𝘼𝙏 𝙄 𝙇𝙊𝙑𝙀 𝙃𝙀𝙍.ᐟ❞

H. RINDOU + F. READER

𝙨𝙪𝙢𝙢𝙖𝙧𝙮 ; rindou never thought he loved you despite what everyone said but when he saw you drinking and talking with fucking nahoya kawata, he can't help but be upset.

𝙬𝙖𝙧𝙣𝙞𝙣𝙜𝙨 ; smut, maybe a little angsty or sappy, slight degradation, public sex, alley sex, drinking, clubs, reader standing on business!!, manwhore!nahoya, toxic relationship, rindou being a bitch, toxic!rindou, slightly toxic!reader, bonten au but like combined with the 14th timeline (with straight hair smiley), yes i did write this because i heard this song, petnames (baby, babygirl, rinnie, etc), guns, rindou shooting a guy bc of yalls public indecency, he says i love u for the first time, uneditedd, rinnie makes no sense at all, skin color not mentioned

‘I love you’

Three words that rindou has never said, to you at least.

He never thought he’d say it because he didn’t think it was true, he didn’t love you. He would kiss you, hug you, treat you well and he enjoyed your company but he’d never think he actually loved you outside of your body and how good of a fuck you were and maybe your personality too but Ran would disagree. 

Ran always said that hook-ups and friends with benefits existed for a reason and if that was true, and that Rindou didn’t have to ask you out and share an apartment with you. The younger haitani would always just brush it off telling him that he didn’t understand but, to be honest, Rindou didn’t really understand it either.

He never had the desire to tell you he loved you and he never really thought that he did but rindou did everything with you that any normal person would do with your significant other, he bought you stuff, very expensive stuff I might add, you two had sex, you two went on dates, he’d cuddle if you wanted to and many other things but every time you’d tell him that you loved him, it was always hum or a grunt in response but never those three words you’ve wanted to hear since the start of your relationship.

And of course, you noticed, you noticed really early actually but constantly brushed it off as him being too nervous or too scared. After all, he and his brother had no one but each other when they were younger and their parents weren’t really in the picture so telling someone that you love them must be hard so you stopped worrying too much about it but after a couple of months, you started to get really upset…he didn’t love you and it didn’t take you multiple people to tell you that, only one. Ran told you, he said that Rindou said he didn’t love you but he highly doubted that but you didn’t care what Ran thought. Rindou said he didn’t love you and that was enough to break your heart.

You cried almost every day when he wasn’t home with your tears and drool dampening your pillows and sheets as you hyper-ventilated and when Rindou was home, you’d just go and cry in the shower probably harder than you did when he wasn’t there.

Although, eventually you stopped being a little bitch and grew up. If he didn’t care about you, you weren’t going to care about him or his feelings and started to do what you wanted, ignoring him, not cuddling, not doing anything you two would normally do and this obviously caused problems between you and him leading to lots and lots of arguments that always ended with either you walking out of the house and him following you telling you to get your ass back inside while firing a gun at where you were stepping to prevent you from walking further or you lying in the bed on his chest after make-up sex and either way you’d still end up crying because you kept falling for his false apologies and going back to him instead of leaving.

That still didn’t stop you from doing whatever the fuck you wanted though because you were always reminded of that he didn’t care so you still didn’t care. No, you didn’t care about how he felt about your short dresses when you went out, no you didn’t care when you’d walk away from him in a club instead of staying. You certainly did not give a fuck about him sitting mere inches away from you while you talked with Nahoya who you knew he fucking hated. But you weren’t doing it to spite him, you were doing it because it’s what you wanted to do and someone who couldn’t even say he loved you wasn’t controlling your actions anymore.

“Bad girl, flirting with me right in front of your boyfriend,” Nahoya said with his usual smile while his arm snuck around your waist with his hand resting right above your ass while your handheld onto his bicep “Don’t talk about him right now, he got on my nerves before we left.” You muttered getting closer to him with a smile creeping onto your face, Rindou had yelled at you nearly putting a whole into the wall because he didn’t like your dress and how short it was but you stood your ground, it was an Embroidered Tulle Illusione short dress from Valentino and you thought it was extremely cute even though with a small bend of your body your panties and ass would be on full display.

You found it idiotic how he was so mad at you for wearing something that he bought, the dress was around 13,900 USD and it hadn’t even been released yet so he had to pay extra to get it for you and now he didn’t want you to wear it? Did he just want to make you miserable? “That’s why you want me huh?” The peach-haired man questioned with a tilt of his head as you let out a giggle with his hand drifting down to cup your ass, rindou watched this entire scene play right in front of his eyes from his spot on a sofa next to his brother and sanzu while a stripper tried to flirt with him with her hand on his chest.

His grip on his glass cup tightened and it felt like he was close to shattering the cup as he glared at the two of you “You can’t even get mad at her.” Sanzu said smiling at his friend’s scowl “Yes the fuck I can.” He couldn’t. He was the one who always denied loving her yet when describing her to anyone, he’d sound so in love “Yeah she’s real pretty, funny too. Sweet girl with an even sweeter ass and fuck, I love her tits.” Sanzu laughed at this any time he could, how could you say that you only love her for her body when you start with how pretty she is and her personality before you even get to her body? Rindou was probably the stupidest man alive and Sanzu had not dropped dead yet.

“No the fuck you can’t. You yelled at her from the house to the car and expected her to not wanna get back at you?” Ran chuckled as he sipped from his wine glass with an evil grin on his face matching the pink-haired man’s “Shit, I don’t even think she doing it to get back at him. Babygirl look like she enjoying the shit outta herself.” Sanzu laughed as all three of them watched as you cuddled up to Nahoya, that stupid fucking nickname Sanzu and ran gave you pissed Rindou the fuck off but you all up on that curly-haired fuck made him even more pissed off than he was before Sanzu even said that.

Were you really that mad at him that’d you go over there and practically fuck that whore of a man? Rindou kept himself seated but his eyes didn’t leave your form for a second, he wasn’t going to get up and cause a scene for nothing because you knew better. But at the sight of Nahoya’s hand drifting up your short dress and onto your ass while showing your lace panties that he had bought you and his hand cupping your ass, rindou knew that apparently, you didn’t know better.

He threw back what was left of his drink before tossing the cup against a random wall and hearing it shatter as he pushed the prostitute off him. He stomped toward you grabbing you by your arm making you drop your glass onto the floor breaking it and spilling the Hennessy all over your feet heels “Fuck are you doing!?” You yelled as you tried to pull away from him but his grip on your arm was tight as he dragged you out of the club not caring about you stumbling over your feet because of his pace and your resistance “I should be asking you that.” The purple and blue-haired man grumbled as he pulled you out of the doors of the club and onto the sidewalk into the night.

“Was just talking! Let go of me!” You shouted as he pushed you against the brick wall of a building after dragging you into a nearby alley, he did what you asked but stopped all of your attempts to leave “Yeah so now whoever you talk to gets to put his hand all on your ass practically fucking you in front of everyone!” Rindou yelled into your face as he got closer to you feeling his breath on your face as he yelled but you didn’t flinch and just looked back at him with a frown “Like you give a shit, thought you only were with me ‘cause I’m a ‘good fuck’?” You replied pushing him away from you as you stood up straight getting your back off the wall as he continued to glare hatefully at you. “Yeah, and you’re still mine.” His words were confusing you, he was glaring at you with so much hate and disdain in his eyes but then again, it looked like he cared and his words showed that too.

Rindou got closer to you again as you pondered what to say “Smiley would fuck me better anyway.” You replied nearly spitting into the taller man’s face but he did nothing but crack a grin and laugh at you “Now you’re just trying to be mean. Sure he’ll probably do good but I doubt he’ll be better, I know all your spots and he couldn’t even find them if you pointed them out.” Rindou teased as he poked your side a bit making you jerk your body away from his hand earning a giggle from him at your sudden jumping “He’d love me.” Rindou felt his heart crack a bit at your words, you really thought Nahoya would love you?

Manwhore, player, slut nahoya? The one known to be a cheater? Had he really hurt you that bad that you thought that Nahoya would love you more than he did? He loved you. He may have just figured it out in this second but he did and he thought you were fucking crazy if you thought that serial cheater would actually want more than your body. It was crazy how he figured out he truly loved you because of your pettiness. “I love you.” Rindou replied after a few seconds of silence his eyes a bit softer but your glare stayed with a scoff accompanying it “You really think I’m gonna believe that shit? After everything you’ve done to me?” That’s what you always said when you two argued. Rindou never said ‘I love you’ during these arguments but you somehow always managed to bring up all the shit that he’s done to you and how you’ll never forgive him but you always do.

Tonight you don’t think you would though. He’s now telling you that he loves you? When he’s jealous and has been yelling at you with his alcohol-laced breath that matched yours. How dare he try and use that shit against you to make you stop talking to Nahoya, that’s low even for him and the idea that he might actually be telling the truth (which he was) never crossed your mind, he’s never said those words before so why would he now?

Rindou’s hands were now planted on the wall caging you in between his arms giving you no way out of this conversation “I expect you to know that he won’t love you. You know just as well as everyone else that he’s fucking a new girl practically every two days and you can either be one of those girls or be the girlfriend who’s sleeping alone in bed because he’s fucking some other bitch. Either way, he won't give two shits about you.” His words were harsh as his lilac eyes narrowed at you glowing in the dim fluorescent light of the old and nearly broken lights that were on the building he had you pressed up against, your manicured fingers gently pulled at the end of your dress attempting to pull it down lower to cover the heat growing in between your legs as you rubbed your thighs together. Rindou hadn’t noticed it yet and you didn’t want him to. You were still mad at him. “I’d rather that than be with someone who can’t even tell me they love me.” You spat continuing to look up at him with your brows furrowed in anger and your lips turned into a frown.

A grin returned to the haitani male’s face “You’d rather be cheated on than be with me? Wow, you really are a petty bitch. Or maybe you’re just a whore.” He said rather loudly making you embarrassed as you glanced away from him for a second, this situation started with you doing whatever you wanted but now, you were just saying shit to piss him off more, and for a second, it was working but now, he just didn’t care because he knew how stupid you sounded and was making you realize that too with his mocking laughs “Don’t call me that.” You managed to sputter out from your embarrassment as he continued to laugh and smile at you as if you were the main punchline of a joke, one of Rindou’s ring-clad hands went to your face and held your jaw his sweet smell of caramel mixed with alcohol filling your nose as he looked at you with pure amusement in his purple irises “Why? That's what you are, aren’t you?” He replied tilting his head slightly with his eyes drifting down to your thighs that were still rubbing against each other before making eye contact with you again.

He really was making fun of you and now that he knew of the rubbing of your thighs he’d keep doing it if this argument continued. You stayed silent and didn’t reply to his question and looked down telling him that he had won the argument as you were too embarrassed to say anything else and that if you had anything else to say to him, you were turned on, embarrassed and a bit drunk so you just accepted your defeat not wanting this to turn into another argument that ended in you started to walk home and him shooting bullets at your feet and at you purposely missing while screaming at you to get your ass back in the club. You were too tired to deal with another situation like that.

“That’s what I thought.” Rindou said tilting your head back up and forcing you to make eye contact with him before he pressed his lips against yours while also pressing your body against the brick wall, your features creased at this action and you raised your hand before slapping him across his face separating your lips and leaving a bright red mark on the side of Rindou’s face “You think that just because you gave me a fake ass ‘I love you’ and a kiss, I’m just gonna become your mindless whore and follow you back into the club?” You said prodding your finger into his chest and roughly pressing against the custom Saint Laurent tuxedo jacket he wore. 

Rindou didn’t even acknowledge the pain in his face nor the action that caused it and just lustfully smiled at you “I have to fuck you too?” He added to your question, that he knew you wanted him. It was obvious from how you were nearly creating a fire with the friction you were creating with your thighs rubbing together and how you peered up at him with those wide eyes he always saw whenever you wanted something from him. Specifically, him in between your legs.

You just blinked at him taking in what he said before grabbing the collar of his white button-up and yanking him down sloppily kissing his lips. He let out a laugh in the kiss as you had given him the answer he knew you were going to say, his hand rested on your hip and his other hand released its grip on your jaw before heading down to the back of your thigh before moving up to your butt being squeezed between the fat of your ass and the brick wall and his other hand on your hip repeated the same motion as you two continued to make out “Jump.” He whispered as he held onto your butt and you did as he said, it was so hilarious how just a few minutes ago you were screaming back at him and telling him you didn’t care about what he had to say and now he was telling you to jump and you were doing it, the only flaw was you didn’t ask how high because you already knew how high.

Rindou held you up against the wall and your legs wrapped around his waist instinctively while your hands remained in their place gripping his collar. You whimpered as you broke the kiss before trailing your lips down to his exposed neck kissing and sucking all over his neck and his bonten tattoo. You liked putting hickies there because you knew you weren’t supposed to, he told you not to so it could be visible and that just made you want to do it more after all, you were still pissed at him.

Rindou’s hand crept up your dress to your inner thigh but you glared at him “Make me cum and that’s it. I’m still not talking to you tonight.” You said rudely and rindou smiled as his fingers glided over the wet patch on your panties, the same panties he saw Nahoya reveal to the entire club “Whatever you want baby.” He replied pushing the lace fabric to the side making your back arch slightly from the gush of cold wind hitting your core.

“But you better not go back to that curly-head fuck.” 

“You’d rather I go to Sanzu then?”

“You don’t remember when he almost lost all his fingers ‘cause you tried that shit?”

A small smile grew on your face at the mention of that situation, of course, you remembered. Sanzu wouldn’t stop laughing about it for weeks but he never stopped calling you baby girl even after that and it was most likely because he knew it pissed off Rindou and he loved to piss off Rindou. “I do but maybe I just like his hand on my ass. Maybe he likes it too.” You responded as you watched as Rindou’s hand worked at his belt while he continued to hold you up against the wall with his other “That’s what I’m for.” The hand he had on your ass to hold you up groped your butt as the words left his lips dripping with honey as you watched him lower his pants, not enough for them to pool around his ankles but just enough for him to free himself from the confinements of his boxers.

His cock stood up straight, tip bright red. He angled himself as he moved his hips forward before pushing himself in your leaking cunt “Slid right in huh?” Rindou commented as he watched as you huffed with your mouth opening slightly, he didn’t waste any time and immediately started thrusting inside of you “S...shut up.” All rindou could do was laugh at your stammering while you buried your face into the crook of his neck.

He let out groans as he felt you biting and kissing at his neck while he continued to hold you up against the cool brick wall, your dress shining in the fluorescent lights as you rocked back and forth with his hips meeting yours. 

The usual cycle of your relationship had continued. You and Rindou get into an argument, you say something about fucking another guy, he laughs and it ends in him fucking all of that confidence out of you and you cursed yourself for allowing it once again but with every hit at your cervix, you cared even less because at the end of the day. You loved him, even if you thought he didn’t love you and he never said it, you still loved him. If you didn’t, you would’ve left a long time ago “I love you.” You said as your nails dug into his shoulders, he didn’t respond and just grunted. Like usually.

His thrusts were getting sloppier as he threw his head back letting you deep moans, his Adam's apple bobbing with every voice crack and grunt as your pathetic moans echoed into his ear. Your back harshly hitting the wall repeatedly while you felt your dress bunching up to your hips, was sure to give you a few bruises along with some fingerprint-sized bruises on your ass from how his fingers were digging into the fat of your bottom but this time it was different. He was rougher than he usually was and that’s saying a lot considering he was pretty rough during make-up sex.

Rindou reached one of his hands up to grab your face and he pulled you out of his neck and forced you to look at him, tears in your eyes from the harsh thrusts and slight pain in your back as you looked at him with his purple irises peering down at you softly, instead of anger and lust you expected, love and lust were swirled into the lilac color of his eyes “I wanna…see you. Keep–fuck–looking at me.” The haitani man sputtered out as he breathed heavily, his chest rising up and down quickly with his deep breaths. His hand slowly made its way back to your ass and pushed you up higher as you were slightly leaning down and you kept looking at him resisting the urge to squeeze your eyes shut.

“I fucking love you too,” Rindou said and your eyes widened a bit at this, you didn’t believe him the first time he said that but now, you kind of did. It sounded like he meant it, like it was coming straight from his heart because whenever rindou was having sex with you, he mainly kept quiet unless he was dirty talking or calling you pretty and it was because everything he said in this moment of vulnerability he had with you came from his heart. When he called you pretty, he meant it. When he said how fucking good you felt, he meant it and him telling you that he loves you…well, he meant it and you saw it.

You saw it in his eyes, his roughness, the sound of his voice when he said it, you could tell but there was still that little part in your brain that was somehow still intact while the rest of your mind had gone dumb at this point, told you that he didn’t mean it. He had never said it before so why was he saying it now? He didn’t mean it, he couldn’t have but maybe he did.

Your mouth opened to ask him about it but quickly closed at the sudden flash of light making you and rindou both squeeze your eyes shut. You fluttered your eyes open before turning toward the direction of light shielding your eyes with your forearm and you saw a man, he had his phone up with the flash on laughing as he pointed it toward you and rindou “No fucking way, bonten boss rindou fucking some prostitute?” Did he have a death wish? He sounded like some stupid fanboy.

Rindou let out a grunt of dissatisfaction and annoyance but his thrusts didn’t halt, he reached into the pocket of his pants and pulled out a gun aiming it toward the phone and he didn’t waste any time pulling the trigger right in front of your eyes with smoke leaving the gun and a loud bang echoing in your eye ringing slightly. You and Rindou watched as the guy fell to the ground a bullet hole in the middle of his face and threw his phone “Oops. Didn’t mean to shoot him.” Rindou said carelessly, you doubted that he actually didn’t mean to do that, you knew that rindou and the rest of Bonten had no issue killing. Obviously.

And rindou had no issue whatsoever shooting someone dead for calling you out of your name which this man had foolishly done “See what I do for you baby?” Rindou said bringing your attention back to him and you didn’t say anything but let out a couple of moans as he continued to thrust inside of your sloppy cunt with squelches and wet sounds echoing into the empty alleyway along with your high-pitched slutty moans. “You gone dumb already? Can’t speak?” You whined at his words as he put his face to your neck sucking at the fleshy skin and pulling at it with his teeth.

“Y-You meant whatchu’ said? T-That you..ngh, love me?” You asked completely dismissing his question and only wanting an answer to why he would tell you that he loved you, but he didn’t respond. Not right away at least and you felt his thrusts get softer and a bit slower which was easier for you to take “Yeah, I do. I love you so fucking much, that’s why I stay with you. That’s why I fight for you, that’s why I kill for you.” Rindou answered in your ear raising his face a bit so you could hear his words clearly but it didn’t sound like he was telling you that, it sounded like he was telling himself that. Telling himself how stupid he was for not realizing his love for you earlier while he reminisced about all the things he had done for you and because of you.

You stayed silent as you moved up and down the wall with your back now fully pressed against the wall so there was no need for your back to feel that pain anymore, your eyes were wide and your lips were parted slightly at his words and your face stayed that way as he pulled his face completely away from your neck to look at you with his lidded eyes “I love you.” He repeated this time staring dead at you and your breath hitched at the sudden rough thrust but you remained with your eyes open as you held eye contact with him. He meant it, he really did. Rindou told you he loved you and…he meant it, it’s all you’ve ever wanted from him.

Your eyes watered as you brought your hands to the cheeks of his face before pulling him in for a gentle kiss closing your eyes as you did so, your tongues fighting for dominance as you and him both moaned and groaned into the kiss. His lips were soft against yours as he practically shoved his tongue down your throat while leaning his body even more into yours, one of your hands went to his hair running your fingers through the multi-colored locks making a mess of the previously tamed and combed strands. Fuck not forgiving him tonight. You knew you would anyway.

When Ran and Sanzu both told you they loved you and just didn’t want to admit it, you didn’t believe them. Not for one bit. Not even when they managed to get Kokonoi, Mikey, and Inui, who could not care less about whatever you and Rindou had going on, to tell you that he talks about you almost all day damn near every day whether it be how much you were pissing him off or what kind thing you did for him that morning. You didn’t believe any of it and said you wouldn’t until you heard those words come from Rindou’s mouth and now that you had, you felt stupid for not believing anything those two said because it was true. For once in their lives, they were telling the truth.

Maybe you would’ve believed them in the slightest if they weren’t such fucking liars.

Your cunt tightened around Rindou’s cock making a groan escape from his lips as he broke the kiss throwing his head back and messing up his hair even more than you did “Gonna take all of it?” He grumbled out as his pace quickened he was getting close and so were you, you were on the verge of spilling everything in that knot inside of your stomach out onto this filthy ground “Mhm!” You hummed in response while violently nodding as tears spilled down your cheeks from the emotional overload and the pleasure in your stomach that caused you to arch your back.

“N-Not gonna spill any? Fuck...!” Rindou continued to tease “No! Just…please rinnie!” You whined out loudly, everyone inside of the club could probably hear your pleas even over that loud music but no one would care. They were all probably too drunk to care in the first place and this wouldn’t be the first time you and Rindou had angry sex outside or inside of the club very loudly. Rindou didn’t say anything and just grunted as he delivered one more harsh thrust colliding his hips with yours for a final time before the knot snapped and you came screaming as you did so. Your cunt tightening around him once again as you did this made Rindou cum right after you emptying himself all in you with a moan following.

You two stood there in that position for a while catching your breath as you peered up at him in all of his post-climax glory with purple and pink strands sticking to his sweaty forehead while he glowed in the lights from above your head. He dropped your legs allowing you to stand on your own stumbling a bit from your heels before his hands went to fix your hair as you fixed your dress “You good now? Not gonna be a bitch or do I need to do s’more?” Rindou asked as he pulled up his pants buckling his belt and smoothing his palms down his tuxedo while watching as you fixed your panties before any of his cum could leak out and onto the floor or down your thigh.

You smiled at him sloppily before nodding earning a tired smile from him, you clung to his arm as you both began to walk back to the club ignoring the lifeless body that rindou had shot dead a minute ago while you smiled dumbly happy with the events that had taken place while rindou’s cum dropped onto the ground blew you as you walked leaking out of the sides of your panties. 

©torasplanet .ᐟ reblogs and likes are very appreciated! pls do not repost!!

[eternal-ascensionism]

Hey! Would you be willing to write a Sleep Token fic where fem!reader is touring with ST (maybe as part of another band, makeup artist, etc). Vessel is really sweet but shy, and reader discovers that he has a crush on her… then things become very spicy…😈

Warnings: smut, angst if you squint. Oral, penetration with fingers, that’s p much it for this one. MINORS DNI

Reader is somewhat fem aligned but it’s mostly gn!reader. Also: Don’t @ me for this but the title is from Naked Love by Adam Lambert bc the Trespassing album had a cultural impact on 12 y/o me the size of a mf crater

Word count:1.9k

Roll The Dice - Vessel x Band Member!Reader

♥️

He screams until his throat is raw, searching for common ground in the dim lighting of a sold-out arena. Having complex emotions can be a blessing and a curse; on one hand, he feels most validated when he finds the right words to capture his view. On the other hand, it’s isolating when the words won’t flow so easily from his lips. It isn’t until Vessel meets you that he begins to feel the burden of speaking his mind has lifted a bit. You were placed together on a tour through the states, your band just beginning to show out as a rising name in the scene. The man couldn’t say for sure whether he’d heard of you before, but he figured it wouldn’t hurt to listen to one of your songs before a show to get a read on your music style.

As the last few notes rang out, Vessel found himself staring into space. Lost in the agony laid bare to all who listened closely enough. It was a sort of primal yearning he’d felt before. One that was imprinted on his very bones. He’d written it out and heard it discussed a million times over, yet the way you captured pain tugged at his heartstrings. From then on, Vessel couldn’t deny his fascination with you. He would never show it, of course. You were both professionals. Since this was your first real tour experience, he couldn’t risk tarnishing it by following you like a lost puppy.

Vessel had never been as smooth with conveying his affections in spoken word as he was with his songs. Although you seemed sweet and approachable for the most part, he was a shy man by nature. That said, something about you made him want to open up. Vessel desired to bond with you, sharing old wounds and their resulting scars. It was roughly two months before he mustered up enough confidence to have a one-on-one conversation with you. After that, the dynamic between you two seemed to shift. Words flowed easier, compliments became abundant, and suddenly you were his confidant. Ves settled on being friends and tour mates, packing away his growing feelings for your sake. But he wasn’t the only one pining in silence, unbeknownst to him.

You began this tour with rather low expectations. Your band was new to all things business-oriented, and you weren’t familiar with most of the lineup. You set your standards to surviving and hopefully making a friend or two. Then you met him. Vessel seemed reserved; you never saw him around without some form of mask to shroud his identity. You knew it was part of Sleep Token’s personas, and it never bothered you much. Who were you to demand someone’s true self or their face time? So you’d always respected their privacy, turning around when one needed to lift a mask for water or to replace it with a less sweaty backup.

——

Tonight hadn’t gone according to plan. Your poor, uncoordinated bassist had clocked his head on the edge of the cabinet door when trying to pack away the communal copy of Cards Against Humanity. You had quickly sat him down and examined the spot; it wasn’t too bad, but it seemed to be bleeding like a stuck pig. With the other members asleep and no first aid kit on hand, you give Chris a towel to hold pressure on the laceration and head for the bus two spots down. III was the one to open the door after you knocked rather quietly. You weren’t sure they’d still be awake, but the lights in the windows gave you hope.

“What can we do you for?” Came his cheery tone, stepping aside as an offer to come inside. You shook your head.

“Sorry to bother you guys, but Chris smashed his forehead on the corner of the cabinet and it’s bleeding pretty bad. He’s alright but we used up our kit after that broken beer bottle incident last week.”

He nodded, seemingly racking his brain for something. “I think we might have one, I know there’s plasters somewhere if nothing else. I’ll look around and come over there.”

You turn on your heel and walk briskly back in the direction you came. Upon arrival, Chris was in the small kitchenette holding the blood-stained rag to the affected area. You both settle on a bench seat next to the counter and wait for word from the guys. When the tall man crossed the threshold of the front door, you almost did a double take. You hadn’t been expecting to see him out of his stage gear, but it made sense given the hour.

Vessel held a flashlight in one hand and a small, red box in the other. “Hey, heard you guys had an accident. You alright, mate?”

Chris nodded the best he could, in spite of his splitting headache. Vessel made quick work of cleaning the wound that had mostly stopped bleeding. His long fingers unraveled the gauze pad and carefully placed it before securing it with two larger band-aids. You couldn’t help but smile at the sight; for all his mystery and moody aura, Ves was a lover at heart. You hadn’t taken notice of it before, but it seemed obvious now. The man cared deeply for those around him. You feel a thud against your shin, and lock eyes with your friend. You’re met with a knowing smirk.

“With the way you’re looking at him, you’d think he was bandaging you up!” Chris chuckled as you prod him sharply in the side with one finger. Vessel’s head was down, a hint of red across his cheeks. Cute.

“I wasn’t looking, I’m just admiring his kind nature. Not like you’d know; remember the time you and Amanda took me out with the pool noodle? Y’all just laughed at me like maniacs after I swallowed all that pool water!” You made a sweeping motion with your hands to paint the picture for the taller male. He shook his head with a smile.

“I’m just trying to help out. Besides, gives me a chance to talk with you more.”

Wordlessly, Chris stand up and claps his hands together. “Well, it was a pleasure seeing you Ves. Thanks for the patchwork. Now if you’ll excuse me, I’m going to give you two lovesick freaks some space. Talk, bond, kiss. Just keep it down so I can maintain my plausible deniability.” With that, he disappeared to the back bunks of the bus.

The silence that followed was all-consuming. Neither of you were sure how to move forward. The connection was evident. The tension was palpable. But you both had long histories of anxious behaviors, and old habits die hard. That said, you only lasted about 30 seconds before deciding the potential reward was worth the risk. Scooting closer to Ves who now sat on the same bench seat, you chanced a look at his face. His eyes held something akin to amusement.

“So what did you want to talk about?” Your gaze falls back to the floor where your slipper scraped repeatedly against a loose thread of carpet. It was a soothing motion as you awaited an answer.

“I think I’d like to know how long you’ve liked me.”

“Well,” you began, “I’ve honestly been into you since before we met. When I saw you guys live for the first time at that festival last summer, the one where we played on the small stage. I caught you guys’ set after we wrapped, and I was absolutely enamored.”

Vessel inched closer, his right hand coming to rest gently over your left. “Yknow, I saw you that time. You managed to get to the front and the first thing I noticed was your pretty eyes. They sparkled when the sun came.”

You took the leap to close the gap between the two of you, Ves meeting you halfway for a soft kiss. You practically melted. He smelled like soap and a hint of incense, you wanted to bury your face in his threadbare tee and never come up for air. He gently guided you to lay back against the cushioned bench while his warm hands slid down your sides. His fingers dipped just below the fabric of your sleep shorts to press into the plush skin of your hips. The firm kneading movements elicited a strangled noise from you.

“It’s okay, baby, I’m right here. Gonna hold you and make you feel good.” He murmured against your lips before making his way down to your neck with sweet pecks. One hand remains at your hip, massaging while the other slips your loose fitting bottoms to the side. A deep satisfied hum sounds through his chest, and it makes you ache. He carefully pushes your legs up and apart once again to admire the view.

“You really are gorgeous everywhere, darling.” A quick peck to your lips. “Magnificent.” Another peck against your shoulder. “Breathtaking.” He’s now level with your groin, eyes taking you in like a desperate animal. No more words leave his lips before they attach to where you crave him most.

Bucking your hips, your hand flies to your mouth as you fight to stay in control. Your band has seen you in many embarrassing situations over the years, but this would be one you’d never live down if anybody caught you. Vessel moans against you, and you bite down on the heel of your palm to stifle your own needy sounds.

It isn’t long before he has you on the edge. You were so close to your release, but you just needed a little more to push you over the line. Mustering what rational thought you had left, you plead for Ves to add a finger. You swear you hear a growl, and then there’s two long digits pushing lightly into you. He prods and curves expertly until finding the spot that makes your hips pause as you grind down on his hand. You let out a whimper as you feel the dam finally burst, making a mess of yourself and Vessel in the process. He lets you catch your breath and relax for a moment before slowly removing his fingers. You pull him in for a kiss, hands beginning to roam before he takes them in his own and looks at you.

“Hey. I really like you, like a lot. I don’t wanna rush anything. I know that’s a bit odd to say after I just had my mouth on you, but I’d really just like to take you out proper before we go any further. Would that be okay? I just…I wanna make sure I do this right.”

You feel a lump forming in your throat as you gaze into his eyes, a sea of uncertainty beneath. Nodding, you give him a smile and pull him closer for a hug. “I’d really like that, Ves. I wanna give us the best chance at working out, we can go as slow as you feel comfortable with.”

Vessel beams at you, lifting you up to relocate to the comfier loveseat in the middle of the bus. “Wonderful. I say we watch some cheesy horror movies for our first date.”

You chuckle and nod while grabbing the remote, “agreed. You pick the movie, I’ll make the popcorn.”

♥️

HI IM SO SORRY THIS TOOK ME LIKE A MONTH TO GET DONE I HAVE BEEN GOING THRU IT BUT THIS WAS SO FUN TO WRITE AHHHHHH

Okay screaming over, thank you for real for the requests and all the inspo it’s helped refresh my writing skills and as always, feedback is appreciated! If this does well I can make another part where they actually have their first time together (not as in virgins but as in first time with each other)

[hydn-jpg]

redraw of this piece!! i mentioned in that post that i would redraw it at some point and ig that time is now! (i meant to post this before id2 came out but i got really busy so y'know lol better late than never)

i like to think i've improved! still can't draw chairs though haha

side by side comparison under the cut + rambly artist commentary(?):

i still have a long way to go in learning proper anatomy but i think the new pose looks a lot more natural and comfortable! also ~sexier~ perhaps

i tried to make the bg look closer to the actual cg they used in the book, i am arguably better at doing backgrounds now i think! i used to not put a lot of thought into it and just blocked out random shapes and called it a day (okay, i still do that now lol but i put more care into it now !! i try to make the shapes a bit more distinct and actually plan and sketch it out rather than draw some blobs and hope for the best ldkfkhsl). also more colour range(?) to give it a bit more depth!!)

i'd also like to add that i think i'm also better at figuring out compositions now, idk how it is for y'all but when i look at the original my eyes can't help but just fall to the centre, bc there's no focal point(?) or anything that's visually interesting for the eyes to land on. plus with the way it's structured, my eyes just naturally fall to center (+ bottom half bc the skin showing through the rips are bright in contrast to the black) >_> in contrast, in the redraw your eyes are automatically drawn to the face bc it's arguably the most interesting thing on the canvas and thus acts as the visual anchor of sorts (plus there is enough contrast with the background to make cas stand out instead of blend in)

even though i cringe looking at the og i can't help but to also feel endeared bc this was one of the first immortal desires fanart i ever did and also one the first of my posts to do really well! i never expected to get that much attention since i was only posting casually but it really warmed my heart reading all the lovely comments and motivated to draw more :D

it's also really fun seeing how much my art style and techniques have evolved! i don't think i use any of the same brushes i used to use for my old pieces anymore now haha. i also watched the timelapse for the old one and am honestly kind of in awe at how my different my drawing process used to be!!

i still have a lot to learn (esp in terms of anatomy, lighting, shading etc.) but i'm happy with where i am rn! the great thing about being a hobbyist is that there isn't really any pressure for me to improve quickly so i can just take my time haha (except maybe from imposter syndrome but that's neither here nor there)

i think i could've drawn his face and expression a bit better but i think this is a satisfying enough redraw for now!

btw, these are just my thoughts! i am not an art student so the things i said might not be technically correct but this is how i make sense of things in my brain

[am-i-the-asshole-official]

WIBTA for asking my SO to do something that they have trauma around?

I don't know when this will be posted but as of writing we are about 2 weeks post valentines day. Ages and genders irrelevant, we're in our 20s and queer.

So I have not been with Jordan long, but we knew each out for a few months as friends before we got together, and have been close pretty much all of the time we've known each other. This is to say, I know them pretty well despite us not actually having been dating that long.

Because we were already friends I knew going into the relationship, without Jordan specifically saying anything, that they had plans on Valentines day. They got tickets to a concert I wasn't interested in a decent amount of time before we got together.

Obviously, not an issue in the slightest, and neither of us brought up anything regarding Valentines day. It was a week day, so I was working all day, and then the time of the concert meant there was no possibility of meeting up after, just not meant to be this year. I thought we were in the same boat just silently agreeing that the timing wasn't right but that it wasn't a big enough deal to even be worth bringing up, especially in such a new relationship.

Some backstory on me: I'm a hopeless romantic and have a kind of cute aesthetic? I like dressing in bright colours, and some of my favourite outfits have prints of hearts, flowers, and cherries. Needless to say I really enjoy the aesthetic of Valentines day, and I've always kind of fantasised about being able to spend it with someone I have romantic feelings for. I've only had two romantic relationships before this and the first one only lasted 6 months and didn't make it to Valentines day, and in the second we both contracted the same bug and were horribly sick throughout February.

Obviously I don't think you should only do things for your SO on Valentines day, but I think it would be fun to have the chance to really get into it! In the past I've organised Valentines day events with my other single friends where we dress in pink and have heart shaped foods etc and those have been great, but haven't quite satisfied my desire to have a Romantic Valentines.

So, despite the fact that my SO was busy, I wanted to do a little something. I do digital art, so when I got home from work I drew a pun Valentines card featuring Jordan's favourite character. It took a few hours and I was pretty proud of how it came out. I knew they were at the concert still, but I texted it to them, so they could see it after.

They responded that night and their first message was just "oh." I've known Jordan long enough that i read the tone to be "oh, now I to have a conversation I didn't want to have." They went on to explain that they associate Valentines day with some past trauma. I won't give any details here, but the tone of the conversation was that they don't celebrate Valentines day because of their trauma, and this seemed like a very final stance.

Now. I don't think I'm TA for drawing the art and sending it, this had never been brought up before, so I didn't know I was crossing a boundary.

I do think Jordan is slightly TA for not saying anything about my art that I worked hard on, but only slightly bc I assume the trauma response just kind of took over.

But my question is, WIBTA if I asked my SO to celebrate Valentines day with me in future even though it's something they have trauma around?

I'm not planning to force them or anything and it doesn't even have to be in the next few years, but thinking long term it feels really gloomy to me to have to miss out on Valentines forever when my SO could be making new memories with me so that mentions of the holiday are less painful.

I don't expect them to just "get over" it magically or anything but I want to ask if it's something they'd possibly want to work up to? I swear I'm not trying to be dismissive their response is fully valid and I don't want to imply my silly fantasies are more important than their traumatic reality I just want to know if this would be an asshole move or not.

What are these acronyms?