#but the assumption seems to be that hes misinterpreted her all along and she was supposed to be trans. which. eh?

[metanarrates]

its interesting to me that the common sentiment appears to be that han sooyoung intended for jang hayoung to be trans. I think there's room for multiple interpretations, but I view being trans in orv as being inherently tied to the themes of self-actualization, as well as the idea that a narrative is unable to be fully defined by either author or reader. put more simply, jang hayoung is trans regardless of either kim dokja OR han sooyoung's intentions in creating her, or in how they each interpreted her. maybe the version of her in the novel was meant to be something else, but in the reality of this world, she is a trans girl. han sooyoung's intentions kind of don't matter there because the text has moved beyond its author

[hyunnie04]

somethin' stupid

"and then i go and spoil it all by saying something stupid like i love you."

yang jeongin x reader, fluff | m.list

wc: 1.2k | happy birthday innie ♡

“i'm not really interested… i'm sorry.”

you watch jeongin as he rejects yet another girl. you feel sorry for her as she stands awkwardly in the middle of the quaint cafe, fiddling anxiously with the ends of her shirt.

thankfully, the establishment was relatively empty, save for a few people discretely listening in. she goes on to nod and ramble on further until she had noticed your presence.

"-oh, i didn't realize you have a partner. sorry." her eyes dart over towards you, blush wildly painting her cheeks. she was already gone by the time you could correct her, scuttling away and leaving a trail of gossip in her wake. jeongin watches her leave, pursing his lips.

"you could've let her down easily. the poor girl was shaking..." you voiced out, stirring your iced americano and watching the ice melt bit by bit.

jeongin sighs and takes his seat across from you, taking a sip out of his own cup. he brushes your comment off and starts to talk about a different topic altogether, returning to his smiley demeanor.

you knew how jeongin was. he didn't hesitate to say no whenever someone would just come up to him, asking for his number. it happens more often than not, professions of love seemingly happening out of no where.

you were also used to it, getting stopped so frequently whenever you went out with him. dozens of people that had tried to ask him out only ended in disappointment.

he was seemingly disinterested in things like love. the topic had always eluded him, if you didn't know him any better you could have said he was uncomfortable with the idea. but you didn't pry, he must have a pretty good reason. it was understandable too, his line of work didn't exactly allow it anyways.

despite this, you have admired him in silence ever since the beginning. the feelings that had festered inside of you were kept bottled up until they threatened to spill over. and they almost did, but friendship mattered more and shot down the idea before it could ruin everything.

admittedly, there are days where you just want to explode, to confess and just get it over with. you were a hundred percent positive it would end just the same for you. the preconceived notion of him not liking you in that way, you don't think you could handle it. thinking about being rejected so coldly sends shivers down your spine.

the iced americano that sits in your hands start to sting after a while, but you pay no mind to it. the firm grip you had on it reminds you, mulling over the interaction you had earlier as he rambles about another topic. little things like paying for your coffee and bringing you other small items even if it was his birthday had in short, confused you.

maybe you're misinterpreting and just imagining things. but the way jeongin is adamant that he pays for your order every single time, or the way his hand brushes against yours more often than not and how the warmth of them lingered, says otherwise.

you also notice how he didn't correct the girl's assumption about you two.

the wind dishevels his hair upon stepping out of the cafe, rays of sunlight peaking through the leaves start to dim in the afternoon. the two of you walk for a while, kicking pebbles and rocks in comfortable silence. your head is still occupied with thoughts of him.

another thought comes into your mind amidst the internal chaos, "i almost forgot! i still need to buy you a cake." it had completely slipped from your mind, forgetting why you agreed to go out in the first place.

"it's okay, really." he laughs as you tug him along the sidewalk. you need to do something else to distract your mind and fast. jeongin jogs beside you, keeping up with your pace. it seemed like you weren't taking no for an answer and stopped right in front of a pastry shop.

"is this what you were talking about?" he hums with a grin, leaning down to browse the lines and lines of delicious looking cakes displayed in the glass casing. you made no move to go in just yet, letting him choose silently. his hair, still disheveled and tousled from the wind yet ethereal all the same.

"what if i said i liked you?"

the abrupt stupid question escapes your mouth before you could catch it. his face slowly contorts into an expression, one you could not decipher right away upon hearing it. his back straightens up as keen eyes start to focus on you.

"j-just a hypothetical! i was just really curious because of earlier and it's not serious or-" you wave your hands in front as if to physically wave it off.

"-forget i said anything." you turn your head away, voice becoming tiny and unintelligible. you could feel his eyes burning holes into the side of your head. jeongin says nothing as the tip of your ears burn a bright crimson.

you've done it now, y/n.

"hey," he nudges your side with that eye-crinkling smile you've come accustomed to.

"did you ever wonder why i keep rejecting them?" jeongin now had his hands in his pockets, a small pout forming on his lips as he pops his own query to you, staring back at the glass casings.

you said nothing, unable to respond with a reply or conclusion that would most likely be accurate, you've already embarrassed yourself in front of him today.

jeongin flicks your forehead and scoffs, “that's because i like you, idiot.”

"it was always you." his eyes were downcast, looking everywhere but yours.

you have gone unresponsive at this point. incredulous eyes stared back at him as you feel your throat dry up. it was because of you? were you dreaming? you must be.

"w-what? really?" you say quite densely whilst rubbing the sore spot on your forehead. he laughs, finally turning to you. "yes, i'm serious."

the wind blows harder this time, removing the locks that obscured his beautifully dimpled face. jeongin's eyes are still trained on you with such longing that you don't recall ever seeing on him, ultimately reminding you that this was indeed real.

"you have no idea how long i've been waiting for you to say those words." you breathe out in relief, one that you weren't even aware of holding.

the proximity between you two sends electrifying shocks, the mere presence of each other is enough to fluster. "i like you too." the words finally make it out of your throat.

you two burst in abrupt laughter, the tip-toeing around the situation suddenly feeling silly. a mixture look of understanding, relief, and love is shared between you two, smiling like love sick fools.

jeongin starts to drag you away by your coat, mimicking how you did to him earlier. "ah! wait, but your cake..." you see the establishment grow smaller and smaller as he drags you away.

"we don't need to worry about that now."

"can i at least buy you a present?" you reply, picking up your feet and walking alongside him. he has a wide grin on his face as he presses a chaste kiss to your cheek. "got my present right here."

you mousily stop in your tracks as a deeper shade of crimson blooms across your face. the two of you walk side by side upon your recovery, pinky fingers now intertwined shyly around each other.

[cannoli-reader]

That stuff in your post on how Egwene should have ended was really harsh on Moiraine! She had no choice, there were only bad options if she didn't do what she did.

Who says? The lady who tells us that the Aiel and Mat & Perrin are not in the Prophecies of the Dragon, who said that women were just as strong in the Power as men, and that the Heroes of the Horn will fight for the Shadow if the wrong person blows it?

Moriaine is not infallible, and this, in particular, is a place where the story itself introduces beforehand, reasons to doubt her assertions. Jordan does this a lot, throwing in the counter-argument before the argument is made.

When Moiraine first went into Rhuidean, we got warnings that the alternative scenarios disappear from your memory, that your mind can't retain it all. She was also told about the dangers of making assumptions about prophecies. The Wise Ones tell her that in every dream they had of her coming to the Three Fold Land, she insisted on going to Rhuidean, only for in reality, Melaine to let it slip that they dreamed Moiraine needs to go through the rings.

What we can take away from this is, is that merely by knowing the future, you alter how it plays out. This happens with Moiraine. She claims that they would inevitably end up on the docks, confronting an enraged Lanfear, but how or why would that have played out? Rand had no intention of going anywhere near the docks. He was going straight to the mustering ground to Skim to Caemlyn. There might have been a delay for the Maidens' intervention, but after being stalled to deal with Sulin's complaints, Rand would have had even less patience for potential delays. The only reason he goes anywhere near Lanfear is that Moiraine insisted he come and everyone around Rand supported her for various reasons of their own. There is also the possibility that seeing Rand & Aviendha in close proximity put their relationship foremost in Kadere's mind, and led to him telling Lanfear about them hooking up. Maybe if he had not seen them, and got confirmation in his own mind, he might not have bothered reporting that tidbit to her, and she might not have flipped her shit.

But even if she does get the word from Kadere, and go psycho looking to kill Aviendha, what good is that going to do her, if Moiraine does not drag Rand & Aviendha down to the docks to set up her "rescue"? Maybe if she comes after them, she pops in in the middle of the battle around the Royal Palace in Caemlyn, and Rahvin kills her, thinking she's after him. Or she takes a random kill shot which are prone to happen in the chaos of a full scale battle. And Moiraine does not get the credit, and keeps sliding down in importance as a mere lackey of Rand, and eventually completely overshadowed when Cadsuane arrives.

A bad faith interpretation of her character might suggest that the timelines branching from the docks were Moiraine's preference, having seen that fate and diminishment, and choosing to set up the dock fight to thwart her own irrelevance. But even putting the best possible intentions on Moiraine, she overlooked the fact that she forgot 99% of what she saw in the rings, and is misinterpreting a warning that going down to the docks has only bad outcomes, except along a very narrow path, requiring a lot of good luck to achieve.

For comparison, look at all the stuff Aviendha gives no indication of remembering from her own spin through the rings:

Rand's revelations about the Aiel backstory

Opening Rhuidean

The battle at Cairhien

Fighting Trollocs in Caemlyn

An encounter with a village of Aes Sedai who want to recruit her

A near-encounter with a Forsaken fleeing Ebou Dar

The Bowl of the Winds

The Seanchan (either encounter)

The destruction of Elayne's gateway

The siege of Caemlyn

All we know she saw was a version of her sexual encounter with Rand that seems to have made her think he was going to rape her, and that there would be a relationship with them and other women.

Absolutely nothing we know about the rings in Rhuidean support Moiraine's assertion that the encounter at the docks was inevitable once they were told of Morgase's death, and there were only three possible outcomes of the confrontation.

[yunyunbby]

Project Sekai: Wonderland Sekai analysis

I'm really interest in Tsukasa's Sekai lore so I wonder what each vocaloids personality represents for Tsukasa. This is mostly an assumption tho. I didn't fully read all of Wonderland X Showtime story (cards included) so I might misinterpret some stuff.

....

Kagamine Len and Rin:

I put them together since they kinda share the same personality. Compare to their L/N or VBS counterparts the two of them seem to get along very well with non of them getting annoyed with the other. They also can be in sync at times too.

So from this I think Len and Rin are the portrayal of Tsukasa and Saki's relationship. Since they are the siblings that enjoys each other companies and very close.

MEIKO:

MEIKO is very energetic and is up to any challenges. She is also very strong. Although energetic she is still responsible and sometimes makes sure that Luka did not fall asleep randomly.

This MEIKO does feel like the competitive part of Tsukasa as both of them are up to any challenges.

Hatsune Miku:

Although Miku does share the resemblance with Emu it's still Tsukasa's Miku since she exist before Emu meets Tsukasa.

I think Miku personality comes from Tsukasa's younger times where he does his best to entertain his sister Saki to make her smile. Tsukasa must have use the onomatopoeia words when doing plays for Saki.

KAITO:

KAITO definitely is the calm and mature type of leader that looks out for everyone. I think some people did say that KAITO is what Tsukasa wants to be as a star and it does seems like that.

KAITO also feels like he took the older brother persona of Tsukasa in which KAITO looks out for other members and help WXS unit to solve their problems.

Megurine Luka:

Luka is a special case. She sleeps when everyone is having fun and awakes when she sees someone in trouble. She also listens to people problems too and gives advices to them.

I wonder Luka can be related to the part Tsukasa that gives moral support to others? Like how he does with Touya? What if Luka sleeps happily is Tsukasa being happy for the other's problems being resolve?

....

So that's all I want to interpret about the vocaloids in the wonderland sekai. It's also what I think the least place to actually see the vocaloids actually argue with each other since they do look like a happy family with KAITO being everyone's parent.

[authoreeknight]

Bechdel Fail

Happened upon this intellectual landmine about sexist depictions in Andor. This is the sort of analysis that the word "pettifogging" seems like it was invented for.

The Bechdel Test is useful, especially for newer writers, double especially for men, to make sure you're not using your female characters as set dressing. I like Bechdel. I support it. It passes the Ben Franklin test of being succinct, pithy, and cogent. It's super-easy to use. Just like a blood pressure monitor. A blood pressure monitor is a quick, easy way of monitoring cardiovascular health, but if you look only at BP without backing out and getting the big picture it can mislead. Usain Bolt no doubt has world-class cardiovascular health, but if you just look at his BP in the middle of a 200 meter race, you'll get a misleading picture.

Now, I've not delved much into the subject, but I don't imagine Bechdel was ever intended to be used as a be-all-end-all last word on whether a work is sexist. The author of the linked article is correct on facts (well, mostly) but incorrect on the meaning of those facts, like a lawyer making the best of a bad case. To illustrate, I'll apply an old test of mine, the Nancy Test.

Yeah, you've never heard of it. I'm not surprised. The Nancy Test goes back to my earliest days as a writer. Nancy is my mom (an English major back in the day and keen student of Shakespeare). When I told her I was worried about writing women, she gave me this advice: "as long as what your women *do* effects the story in an important way, you're fine." My mom was educated long before "agency" meant anything but "a government department", but I believe that's what she described.

For brevity, I'll only discuss the episodes (most of them) where the article points out that Andor failed, applying my own Nancy Test.

Ep 1 - Kassa PASS

If the young woman leading the Kenari wreck expedition didn't decide Kassa should come along, nothing else in the whole series would have happened as it did. No Rogue One, no Battle of Scarif.

Beyond that, Bix deciding to use the resistance transmitter to contact Luthen (or maybe Kleya) probably saves Cassian's life, or at least prevents him from being arrested by Syril's corpos. Though unstated, it's my assumption that she's breaking protocol doing this.

Ep 2 - That Would Be Me PASS

Once again, Bix plays a key role, though it's something of a double-edged sword. She has to tell Cassian that the buyer is coming for his Starpath, but their intense conversation and Cassian touching her as he thanks her for getting him out of the jam is misinterpreted by Timm.

We also get the woman who runs the brothel doing a positive ID on Cassian as the man she spoke to, giving Syril the confirmation he needs to go to Ferrix.

And finally, we have the Kenari leader going alone to check out the wreckage. If she sends a scout while she stays back with her team, I don't think we get the response from Kassa to go into the wreck seeking revenge, which we know leads to Maarva, Clem, and B2.

Just as an aside, it's lovely how BBY 5 Maarva is introduced as a little old lady who keeps her house cold and worries about Cassian. Just your basic aging mum, right? Bit cantankerous, but within our usual experience. Silly us.

Ep 3 - Reckoning PASS

For some reason the author decides to rant about Deedra Meero here, and as she isn't even in the episode draw your own conclusions about the quality of the article.

But back to the Nancy Test, we have Kenari Maarva overruling Clem and deciding to take Kassa with them, and without this decision once again we never get to the Battle of Scarif. We also have Ferrix Maarva executing some cool psywar on the corpos from the comfort of her chair.

Ep 4 - Aldhani PASS

Vel decides to take "Clem" onto the team. You can argue that Luthen gave her a choice that wasn't a choice, but Vel's decision to swallow the Diego-shaped frog to keep the mission alive mattered. She also manages to keep the team together and on task even though she takes a lot of flak for bringing someone in so late, especially from Lt. Gorn (aside: if I could change one thing about Andor season 1, I'd have Gorn live and decide to stay with the people of Aldhani in the face of the inevitable Imperial reprisals. I *really* liked Gorn, he was great).

Episode 7 Announcement PASS

First, we have Syril's mom, who has managed to get Uncle Harlo to use his connections about a position for her son.

Deedra Meero is all over this episode like Godzilla on Tokyo, as she gets her teeth into the equipment thefts, building her case that there's a rebellion building military forces. She then expertly defends her actions, leading to her being put in charge of Morlana system and Ferrix. We have Kleya issuing a kill order on Cassian to Vel. We have Mon Mothma bringing Tay Kolma into her network with the skill of a heart surgeon implanting a pacemaker. And probably most importantly of all (as it turns out), we have Maarva, inspired by events on Aldhani, deciding to become a rebel.

Yet our writer, unable to see the forest for the trees or the global purpose of the Bechdel Test, sees this episode as yet another example of base female representation fail in Andor. Astonishing.

Episode 10 One Way Out N/A

This episode is so much about the prisoners on Narkina 5, everything else is little updates except for the scene about Jung being a secret rebel. It's a bit like trying to rate how women are depicted in Das Boot. They mostly aren't present for obvious reasons.

Still, we're introduced to Jezzi and the Daughters of Ferrix (even if they don't have a name yet) and though we don't actually see Maarva (as the scene is from Cinta's point of view, who's watching the house from outside) by refusing her meds Maarva has advanced the story more than we can guess, what she's up to is just invisible to us right now. There's also Mon Mothma refusing Davo's offer and the access to funds she so desperately needs.

Episode 12 Rix Road PASS

The only thing I'm going to say about this is that if you can sit through Rix Road and say "Andor does not meet the baseline standard for depicting women" you need to check your diagnostics.

[jade-masquerade]

With regards to "always loved a queen" what is Sansa endgame for Jon? So far, her actions have tormented him and it seems out of character for her to allow a stranger to take so many liberties with her; from being feed by him, to sitting on his lap during the feast and now to accepting and joining him in the godswood and possibly joining him in the hot pools. Will Sansa join Daario in the hot pools or will she rescind the offer to escort Daario, after Jon's reply? I always thought that the hot pools in the godswood, were something exclusive for members of House Stark.

Also, is Sansa acting like to with Daario, as a form of punishment towards Jon, for what he did with Daenerys? And will she ease her interactions and shows of affection towards Daario, considering what happened in the last chapter?

I do imagine that Sansa is (mostly) acting like a good host and doesn't wish to necessarily insult a lord/prince from another city/region, but it seems out of character for her to act like this and allow a stranger so many liberties.

The story has been great so far and i eagerly await the next chapters, as i want to see how it will further develop and how things will end.

I can guarantee there will be a happy ending for them! Next chapter Sansa and Jon will be trying to move on from the events of the previous few chapters so they won't discuss the situation with the hot pools directly, but I don't think Sansa would have gone with Daario since she was signaling to Jon at the end of the last chapter that she wanted him to go with her instead.

Sansa has definitely been acting in ways outside of her comfort zone throughout the course of the story. She is not really living the ideal life she foresaw for herself either, even if she thought at first that she had everything she wanted with being home and safe once again. Even being queen and having Winterfell and the North, she did not think she would end up alone, without her family or anyone truly by her side. She isn't acting here to punish Jon so much as in a last-ditch effort to try to make him see her in a way that is not familial, to want her in the way she wants him. She made attempts over the years to reach out to him and draw him back as the last closest family member to her and someone she had feelings for that she never had the chance to be able to express, and those feelings festered in their time apart. She discovers then that mentioning Daario is suddenly able to lure him back when none of her other missives did. Sansa is very astute at acting according to the situation--when her mentions and actions finally prompt a reaction in Jon, she continues along with them, even as they are probably more out of hand now than what she originally intended. Also, I think to an extent she too is intrigued by Daario considering he is someone quite different from most others she's met before and of course he has a prior connection to Daenerys, too.

As for Jon in this story, he is not always the most trustworthy narrator even though we are seeing things from his perspective. In real life, we misremember things. We misinterpret situations. We make incorrect assumptions. All of those things are affecting Jon's thoughts in this story, with his sense of self-doubt heightened after what happened in King's Landing (and even before then really, with the Daenerys situation and essentially losing the North to her) and after being in relative isolation burdened by guilt for so long. Prompted by Sansa's actions with Daario, he's also dealing with the realization that perhaps his feelings are not so brotherly after all, which will be referenced next chapter as well. He doesn't believe Sansa would want him that way--in his mind, who would?

Glad to hear that overall you have been enjoying the story so far!

[dathen]

Okay I have some complicated thoughts following Melanie’s arc that all build on top of each other and hinge HEAVILY on unreliable narrator interpretations so bear with me

In my relisten I’m at the beginning of s3, and it always shocks me a bit at how quickly she interprets Martin’s interaction with her as hostile.  I’m going to skip over the “it’s understandable, Melanie’s had a hard time in her career” disclaimers since there’s plenty of meta on that already, and instead follow the effects of this tendency: not on others, this time, but on her

(This got absurdly long and covers so many episodes so I’m going to split it into separate pre- and post-bullet surgery posts)

Rewinding a bit, the last time she was at the Institute, she was starting to get along with Jon before he seemed confused about her comment on “the other Sasha.”  It takes her a split second to interpret that confusion as him suddenly deciding to gaslight and mock her, gets angry and tells him there is something seriously wrong with him, and leaves before he can ask what she means.  Given how tenuous their truce was and the fact she and Jon had mocked each other in the past, it’s an outburst that at least has some personal history behind it.

But only a couple episodes later, we learn that it’s not just Jon she responds to in this way.  In TMA 84, she meets our Martin Blackwood!  Customer service voice opposite-of-Jon politeness extraordinaire!  And as soon as he gets confused about the two Sasha comment, she.......immediately assumes that HE is also trying to gaslight her.  She insists that “I’m not doing this again” without giving him a chance to ask or explain, so they miss the opportunity to piece together the deal with the Not!Sasha.  Her doing this with someone she just met shows a much broader pattern than her interactions with Jon.

That very episode, Elias offers Melanie a job, and she accepts despite Martin’s protests.  Later, she accuses them all of them being an “old boy’s club” because she interpreted Martin’s warnings as sexism rather than trying to protect her.  As the audience, we see the unreliable narrator of her perspective at work: we know that Jon and Martin were genuinely confused, and we know that Martin was trying to save her, and that all of these instances were her seeing it as people being out to get her.

Hop forward to the notorious gossip scene in TMA 106.  Here, Melanie complains about Martin being hostile to her.  My first assumption was that this was all offscreen, but after this parade of misinterpretation and comparing to her and Martin’s actual interactions, I have to wonder:

TMA 84, after Martin tells Melanie about the murder, and right before Elias interrupts:

Martin:  Are you sure you’re alright?

Melanie:  Yes!  I just got… God, I’m kind of at the end, you know?

Martin:  The end of what?

Melanie:   Everything.  Friends, clues, savings. Everything.  Options.  There’s nowhere left for me to go . I don’t know why, but…  I just, I just felt that perhaps coming here might help.  And talking things out with Jon.  I mean, I mean he’s awful, but at least he listens, you know?

Martin:   (soft) Yeah.  ...I’m sorry.  Um, is there anything that I could, like, maybe...do for you?

They get interrupted immediately after this, so this was the first impression Melanie was given.  Then, when Elias offers the job, she...assumes Martin’s “I don’t think that’s a good idea” is from sexism, when he’d just been talking about murders and disappearances that caused that very job opening.

TMA 88 

Melanie:   Are you alright?

Martin:  Yeah… Sorry, just a lot of change recently, y’know.  You and John and Sasha and… everything’s gone a bit wrong.  It’s the not knowing, you know?  I mean, Jon’s still alive.  Not sure why, but I’m sure of that.  But Sasha, I…

Melanie:   Yes, it’s… it’s probably, um…

Martin:   Sorry, sorry, I’m...  What do you need?

Next interaction!  Oh this one HURTS.  Martin takes her question literally, and starts telling her why she’s not alright, a reverse of their earlier exchange.  But Melanie came by for a question and wasn’t prepared for an honest answer, so Martin quickly reels it in and asks what he can do for her once again.

Skipping forward a bit in that same scene:

Martin:   Oh, you weren’t here when we took the place over from Gertrude!  It’s been over a year just to get it like this.  I mean, I think the database was on Jon’s list, but--

Melanie:  So how do you track someone down?

Martin:   Oh, oh well, y’know, we’ve a few contacts in various record offices around the place.  Aside from that it’s just… just a bit of detective work, really.  Tim used to do a great line in impersonating people to utility companies!  Heh, the number of times he got them to give him ‘his own’ address--

Melanie:  Right, right… Um, this one, the name is 'Jude Perry.’ Doesn’t mean anything to you, does it?

I LOVE THIS EXCHANGE.  I TREASURE IT.  Having bottled up his emotions, Martin is going in full Friendly Helpful Coworker mode.  There are so many little details here signaling that he’s embracing her as part of the team, sharing anecdotes about Tim’s shenanigans and Jon’s old plans, looping her in as One of Them as he helps her get what she needs.  This is the kind of approach you go to management trainings to get, to help new hires feel welcome and part of things.  But alas, Melanie is in a hurry and wants to cut to the chase, so all this is lost on her.

TMA 98 - I won’t copy it all in here because it’s long, but this is an overwhelmingly positive interaction.  She asks if he’s okay, but he bottles it up and says he’s fine.  This time, she presses, and he admits it’s because of the statements.  Martin ends up asking for help!! and Melanie agrees!  She’s on the way to murder Elias, but she still gets credit for “I’ll ask him to cut you some slack.”  Then she invites him to drinks!

And then.... TMA 106

Melanie:   Anyway, Martin’s always been lovely to you.

Basira:  Hmm. I don’t know, I mean, you should have seen him when I turned up last year. I think he thought I was trying to steal his precious Archivist.

Melanie:   Ahhh. I got the exact same when Jon was hiding out, and came to me with his “source on the inside” stuff.  Martin was not impressed.

WAIT WHAT

We just looked over all their interactions!  They were all soft and lovely and welcoming!!  But then we hear Melanie with “well unlike how he is to me, Martin is nice to you.”  This was taken at face value for years, but when you line up all of the above, I feel there is a strong basis to say this is another case of Melanie’s first impressions + over-defensiveness gone wrong.  Just like we saw her initial bickerings with Jon solidify into series-long hostility, her interpreting Martin’s confusion as gaslighting and warnings about the job as sexism seems to have doomed her opinion of him long-term.  We hear Martin being kind and concerned and welcoming, then hear Melanie contrast it as bad treatment.

Recently, a mutual considered this even further to how she talked about losing all of her friends with the Ghost Hunt UK circles:

Melanie:  Even back then, I could feel all my old friends starting to distance themselves from me. ...  I stopped asking the others for help, and I kept my research to myself. I talked to them less and less. By the time I was arrested, I think a lot of them had already given up on me.

I have to wonder...did this sort of dynamic play out here, too?  Did she assume that her friends’ concern was judgment or hostility?  Were they giving up on her, or did she lash out and push them away?  Either way, it’s easy to see parallels to s2 Jon in her description, here, with her withdrawing and diving alone into increasingly risky research without asking for help.  And s2 Jon definitely shared Melanie’s tendency to see offers for help and support as hostile.  (Aside:  I interpret her and Georgie as not very close at this point, like a networking contact rather than a friend; Melanie comes to Jon for someone to talk to about her struggles above her, and Georgie seems to be unaware of all of Melanie’s encounters pre-s3)

And on that downer note I am ending part 1...but PART 2 IS GOING TO BE WAY HAPPIER THAN THIS.  Here, we see Melanie with a lot of people who would have supported her if she let them:  Martin, Jon, possibly the friends she said abandoned her.  But in her effort to protect herself and not let history repeat for how she’d been hurt in the past, she ends up alone and spiraling.

[starshipsofstarlord]

A Stark Contrast | Bucky Barnes

Summary; living in the shadow of Tony, your brother, always was the way, and you accepted it. That was until he expected you to sign the accords, that was one thing that you couldn’t do.

Warnings; Angst, mentions of death, mentions of being controlled, funeral, mourning, anger

The form, bound in a weighty book laid on the table, making the room fill with utmost tension. Tony was hellbent on signing the thing, and handing away any freedom that all of you had.

No matter how long you had supported him, this was not one subject that you could agree with him on. Whilst you understood his perspective, it would only end up with you in a hamster wheel, running around and following the orders of executives.

They wanted less destruction. To put boundaries around their country’s heroes, and limit them to the lengths they could go to in order to save lives.

That was also wrong, the entire ordeal had you bent backwards with a conflict of interests. On one hand, it would be ordinary to sign for such a cause, whether you trusted their backgrounds or not, simply because your elder sibling had.

There was nobody that you trusted more than Tony, he had half raised you after your parents were killed, you felt indebted to him. But being an avenger, on a team where your personal opinion had been valued, it opened your eyes to a whole range of possibilities.

Whilst you were loyal to Tony, you had also became in tune with your own gut. It grumbled at the prospect of giving in to a contract, which decided what you were permitted to do. It was like a child’s parent permission slip, but on a much grander scale.

“People died!” He reminded the lot of you again, which inclined you to look down. There was blood on all of your hands, and he was making it as red as it could possibly be seen. “At least y/n agrees with me.” He reprimanded Steve, whom was still far on the fence regarding the entire ordeal.

Once he said that, all eyes had shifted towards you. Nat had already basically given in to your brother’s convictions, and Steve suspected that you would do the same. You were always one step behind Tony, you were far too loyal to your sibling for your own good.

“I have yet to make up my mind.” You spoke, standing, no longer wishing to be in the room where there was far too much tension. How you wished Banner and Thor were here, they would make an equal divide. The God of Thunder would not scribble his signature upon the paper, you thought to yourself, if he knew their reasons and affects.

However, your words were taken as an assumption that you would join your sibling in providing a peaceful surrender. It is what he and the public would assume of you, and to be truthful, you were tired of sticking to the stereotypes that were made of you.

“I’m surprised that you came.” Steve spoke, as you opened the boot of your car, and revealed the shield that he was so often adorned with, as well as Sam’s wings. He, like most others, had suspected that you would join your brother in his guilt ridden cause, however, thinking for yourself gave you a sense of freedom.

“Don’t be so quick to prevail into what everyone else thinks of me.” You smirked at the captain, your eyes drifting over to the other super soldier, whom had temporarily been imprisoned by the government.

But he had escaped, and if luck was not often a Stark trait, Tony would have died. You had watched from the cameras, but you could boil no bad blood in between the pair of you, Barnes was not in his right mind. He was controlled, and put into a incomprehensible mode of himself. That was, unless, he had managed to kill Tony.

Then you would have changed your own deciding mind, and stuck to what the eldest Stark believed in. “I won’t, ever again.” Sam smiled, picking up redwing from the composed pile, and kissing the machine.

“Bucky.” You reiterated his name, the one that he had chosen to correct the unknown and deceiving man on. The nod you earnt was brief, but it gave you a sense of hope that whirled in your middle. 

It was clear that he was an attractive man, and alike his righteous friend, he was frozen through time to be in this current moment. As Sam and Steve began to get their things together, you walked over to the historical stranger, a smile upon your face. “I’m y/n Stark, I don’t believe we have had the fortune of meeting before.”

“You sure do speak like a Stark.” He softly spoke, a matching smile on his brawn face. “And you seem to have other things in common, like that necklace.” At his words, you looked down at it, a hint of anguish within your gaze.

“It belonged to my mother.” It was nice to reminisce about her for a moment, you knew that she would have made her own decisions too. In some retrospect, you were following in her footsteps.

A feeling grew in the back of Bucky’s throat, but he said nothing. If he were to spill, or reveal his dark secret, it would mean nothing more than the loss of a powerful asset, they could not afford that right now.

“Do you ever think about what would have happened if you got to return home?” It had been a stressful day, fighting your friends, and your last living family member. Bucky turned at your words, you had saved him from being killed, he felt indebted.

“Probably do what every other soldier did; find a woman to marry and have kids. But that’s far out of the picture in this modern age.” Steve was flying the aircraft as you and Bucky spoke in the back. It gave the two of you a moment alone, and you were truly knowing as though you knew the soldier.

He was a good man, misinterpreted by the deeds that he was controlled to do. No one chose to have pity on Barnes, they instead viewed him as a country danger, and wanted to lock him up in a cage, which was how he had come so far in the first place.

“I wouldn’t say that.” For a moment, you looked into his deep blue eyes, feeling as though he were freezing you with them. He didn’t want to look away, but you were inclined to, for you could feel the contrasts of hot and cold heat working its way up your neck, and onto your face. “There’s definitely a woman that would want all that and more with you.”

If things were simpler, you would be convinced that you could share such an intimate bond with him, but alas, everything had to be complicated. And if things could work out, they surely couldn’t last.

“We’re here.” Steve informed the both of you, as he slid out of his front seat, and you prepared to finish this for once and for all.

“How could you?!” You couldn’t defend him as Tony blasted him away, Bucky had played you, and done so well. He and Steve knew of the blood on his hands, and yet they hadn’t thought once to inform you of the one true treachery regrading you.

Bucky had killed your mother, from the intake of information alone, you felt sick. Physically sick. But you choked it down, and as Steve unsurely came towards you, you ran at him, angered by his lies.

From the start, the patriot of America, someone you had considered a friend had deceived you. You had helped him, stood with him, fought your friends for him, and not to mention Tony, and he had known all along.

“Y/n-”

“Save your apologies Rogers.” You stared him down, as he had Bucky held up by one arm, seeing as Barnes had lost one of his own again. “And you, you’re right, there’s no perfect picture, you’re nothing but a monster.”

“Listen.” Steve commanded, but you couldn’t. He was no longer considered your captain, he was a sick liar who had helped to break you. This was the last time that you made your own decisions. Tony was always right.

“You don’t deserve that shield, my father made that. It’s government property-” swiftly he dropped said item, an exhausted and tiresome expression upon Steve’s helmet wearing face.

As soon as they trudged by, you instantly went to Tony, checking his wounds. “You were right brother, I should have listened to you.”

“Your dad loved cheeseburgers too.” You laughed lightly to Morgan, blinking back the tears. It was Tony’s funeral, there were so many people here, even Fury, but there was someone else, who was walking towards you. “Why don’t you go and ask Happy, I have some business that I have to tend to quickly.”

“Okay auntie y/n.” She ran off. She was so innocent, she didn’t deserve to be going to her father’s funeral at five years old, it was truly cruel. But that was just the way the world worked, and Tony was a hero.

“Hi.” Bucky spoke, adorned in all black, same as you. It had been a long time since you had seen him, not since he was being carried away by Steve. You hadn’t fought in Wakanda, instead you had ended up on Titan with your brother, and you would have surely died without him.

“Hey Barnes.” You greeted him with a forced smile, but nevertheless allowed him to step closer.

“I’m sorry for your loss.” He said, the guilt still burning behind his eyes. It seemed that his time in Wakanda had changed him, for the better.

“Which one?” You quipped back, instantaneously. 

“All of them.” He gulped, he was going to give you one truth before you found out after. It was his attempt at redemption, and a sorrowful one at that. “Steve’s returning the stones later.”

“I know.” You responded, the captain had already informed you about that part of his plan.

“And he’s not coming back.”

“Anthony Howard and Steven Nathan Barnes, the two of you better get back here this instant!” Your voice hollered through the house, as well as the duo’s endless giggles.

The front door opened, no other than Bucky walking through. He was quick to recognise the flash of motherly anger upon your face, and quickly dropped his serene smile.

“What have they done?” Bucky asked, watching as you crossed your arms in an unimpressed manner.

“Why don’t you ask your sons?” Your husband sighed, but despite that, he was a happy man. He had returned from a war, and found a lovely wife, of which he had two troublesome boys with. For the first time in a long time, y/n Stark and Bucky Barnes were happy.

[skylights2000]

Switch! (Gundham x Fem! Reader) Part 6

~

I swear I’m still doing everyone’s requests. I was just so excited about this story that I ended up writing the whole chapter when I only meant to get started on it 😅

!TRIGGER WARNINGS!

There is a reference to a past suicide attempt!

This is a long one, so get settled in and enjoy! On to the story! 💜

~

No matter how much you argued that you had things to get done, everyone agreed that you needed rest. You finally gave in when Manako and Hiko promised to keep you updated on the current projects, as well as any new ones that came in.

In the end, you were thankful for the help. Though you’d never admit it, you really were exhausted, and it was comforting to have someone remind you that your business wouldn’t fall apart if you took some time off.

You slept for the majority of the next week. Gundham and Sonia spent more time at your home than at their own during that time.

Every few hours, you’d vaguely hear your bedroom door creak open, and one of them would come in to ask how you were doing.

If you were sleeping, you’d mumble that you were okay, just tired. If you were awake, they’d ask you if you wanted to eat, watch a movie, or something.

Sonia was a great cook, and whenever you felt bored or cooped up, she’d let you help her.

Sometimes, the three of you would go outside and sit on your front porch or walk down the street to the park. They always walked on either side of you, ready to catch you if you fell.

You appreciated their concern, but you eventually nudged them both ahead of you, assuring them that, yes, you were fine and would tell them if you weren’t.

On days that Gundham had to work, Sonia would keep you company. Today was one of those days, and Sonia was excitedly telling you about her upcoming date with Peko.

“Do you want to go shopping with me?” Sonia asked excitedly.

You hadn’t actually been shopping in a while. You spent most of your time working and never really went many places that required nice clothes, so you never had a reason to go shopping that much.

Maybe you could get something nice for yourself? It’s not like you didn’t have the money. But where would you even wear something like that? A date maybe?

The thought made you realize that you hadn’t been on a date in almost two years. Jeez, that made you feel like some kind of hermit.

“Sure, why not.”

Sonia clapped happily and dragged you up from the couch. “Alright, get dressed, and we will go!”

You shook your head, amused by her enthusiasm, and retreated to your room to change out of your pajamas.

~

Miu sent you and Sonia a message just as you were getting into your car.

I’ve got awesome news fuckers! Where are you?!

You raised an eyebrow, wondering what she’d gotten into this time. You turned to Sonia. “You mind if she comes along?”

Sonia just grinned. “The more the merrier!”

You smiled and answered the message.

Be outside in ten minutes or I’m leaving you behind

Ooh are you gonna punish me?

You rolled your eyes, but the smile on your face didn’t falter.

I’ll leave that to Ibuki

You put your phone in one of the cup holders and started the engine.

~

Miu clambered into the backseat the second your car had stopped and immediately launched into a tirade. “Clear your plans for Friday night! We’re goin’ to a fuckin’ concert!”

“You bought tickets?” Sonia asked, and Miu’s grin widened.

“That’s the thing! It’s Ibuki’s concert so we get in for free!”

“Isn’t that abusing your relationship?”

Miu punched your shoulder, causing you to swear and whack her knee. “Don’t do that while I’m driving!”

“It was Ibuki’s idea! She wants all of us to come!”

“All of us?”

Miu nodded, listing off people on her fingers. “The three of us, Gundham, and Kazuichi. So whaddya say?”

“That sounds wonderful!”

“Sounds like fun. You gonna need a ride?”

“Nah, I’m ridin’ with Kazuichi.” Miu seemed to finally remember that they were driving. “Where’re we goin’ anyway?”

“Shopping. Oh, we can even buy outfits for the concert!” Sonia exclaimed, and you nodded along.

“Yeah, gotta match the occasion.”

~

Miu and Sonia dragged you through several stores. Each of them found their outfits fairly easily. You, on the other hand, were having some trouble.

The clothes were all nice, and you really liked some of them, but you really weren’t sure you could pull any of it off.

Eventually, Miu got tired of waiting and started searching for you. Within minutes, she returned with enough outfits to make your head spin and dragged you towards the changing room.

You tried on each outfit, each one getting various comments of “Not that one.”, “Try the next one.”, and “Not your look.”

By the time you got to the last few, you felt incredibly discouraged.

~

“I actually like this one.” You said as you stepped out of the changing room.

Sonia and Miu, who had been having a conversation about Kiibo, turned to you. Sonia’s eyes widened, and Miu’s mouth fell open.

“You look wonderful!”

“Hot damn, you look good, kid.”

“I’m older than you.” You huffed indignantly, but you couldn’t keep the smile off your face.

“Gundham’s gonna bust the fattest nut when he sees you.” Miu laughed.

Your eyebrows shot up in surprise before you smiled awkwardly. “I think you’ve misinterpreted something. Gundham doesn’t see me that way.” You sounded so confident in the assumption that both of them were a bit caught off guard.

“Wait, you really don’t see the way he looks at you?” Miu asked disbelievingly.

You frowned at her, confused. “What do you mean?”

Miu looked to Sonia, who shrugged in response to the silent question.

“Well, how do you feel about him?” Miu asked instead.

You smiled happily. “We’re friends.”

“An’ that’s it?”

You paused for a moment, considering her words for a moment. “Hm, I’ve never really thought about it.”

You didn’t elaborate further as you headed back into the changing room, much to the frustration of Miu, who really wanted the scoop on you and Gundham.

~

The day of the concert was a hectic one. You got several new orders for various kinds of furniture, so you spent most of the day alternating between ordering supplies and cutting and labeling the wood needed for each project.

As soon as you got home, you jumped in the bath, soaking away the soreness in your body. You washed your hair, blow dried it, and set about styling it. Once you were satisfied with that, you headed back to your room to get dressed.

You’d ended up buying the outfit that the three of you liked. You were wearing a dark purple t-shirt, black jean shorts, fishnet stockings, and black combat boots. You accented the outfit with a black, lace choker that had a silver crescent moon in the center and a pair of fingerless black gloves.

You smiled at your reflection. Miu and Sonia were right. You did look good.

You grabbed your phone from your bed and sent Sonia a message saying you’d be at her apartment soon to pick up her and Gundham.

~

When you got there, you parked and climbed the stairs to her apartment. When you knocked on the door, you very vaguely heard Sonia’s voice and the dull thump of boots on the floor before the door opened.

You’re not sure who looked more surprised, you or Gundham.

Sure, you’d seen him in his long coats and dark clothes, but you’d never seen him dressed like this. He was wearing a dark red, band t-shirt, black jeans with several straps and buckles along each leg, and black boots. He had on several black and silver necklaces and twin leather bracelets on each wrist.

You finally forced yourself to look away when you realized you were staring. You waited for him to say something or invite you inside, but he didn’t. For a long moment, he just stared at you, and you hooked your thumbs through your belt loops in an effort to look calmer than you felt. People never really looked at you, so having someone openly stare at you was making you nervous.

“Um..Gundham?” You smiled bashfully, offering a little wave to get his attention.

He blinked and upon realizing what he’d been doing, he looked away from you, moving to hide his face with his scarf before remembering it wasn’t there.

As if to save him from his own awkwardness, Sonia appeared beside him. “Hello, (Y/n)!”

Sonia was wearing a beautiful, gothic style, black dress. It stopped just past her thighs and had long lace sleeves. Several thin, silver chains hung from her waist. She had on knee high, black boots and her usual choker with the pentacle on it. You couldn’t help but smile. They both looked great.

“Hey Sonia. You guys ready to go?”

When they nodded, you led them to your car. Sonia climbed into the front seat since she was giving directions while Gundham climbed into the back.

~

The place was packed when you got there, and it didn’t take long for you to spot Kazuichi’s pink hair out front. He was deep in conversation with Miu, and as you approached, you realized they were talking about their newest project. You smiled nervously. Hopefully, this time, it wouldn’t involve any weird rituals.

As soon as you reached them, Miu dragged you all inside. The place was packed, and you felt a spark of anxiety at the sheer number of people around you. You didn’t like crowds. You probably should’ve thought that part through.

Well, you were already here, and if anything did get bad, you could just politely excuse yourself.

With that thought in mind, you followed everyone inside. You found a table near the back and took a seat with the others. Miu disappeared to wish Ibuki luck before the show, and Kazuichi left after asking if any of you wanted something to drink. You asked for a soda, Gundham requested some water, and Sonia politely asked for some lemonade.

Shortly after he returned with the drinks, the lights dimmed, and the ones on the stage lit up. Miu appeared out of nowhere, grabbing Sonia’s hand then yours. “Let’s dance, bitches!”

“I don’t really know how t-“

“Fake it til ya make it, (Y/n)!”

She wasted no time dragging you two towards the stage. Sensing your discomfort, Sonia stopped Miu from dragging you fully into the mosh pit in front of the stage. Miu huffed, but her expression softened. “Ya alright?”

You smiled sincerely, albeit a bit awkwardly, and nodded. They threw their arms up and danced like crazy, and you laughed as you watched them. You bobbed your head to the beat. It really did make you wanna dance, but there were so many people around.

Sonia, ever the empath, grabbed both your hands and pulled you towards them. “Dance with us!”

They both grinned at you, each taking one of your hands. It was awkward at first because you were still a bit uncomfortable, but being with two of your best friends helped you loosen up, and soon, you were jumping and dancing along with them.

Across the room, Gundham was watching you quietly, a small smile on his face. He liked your smile, liked the way your eyes shined. Your hair whipped your face as you banged your head to the beat. The adrenaline made you feel like you were flying, like nothing existed except you and the music. After an entire week of being cooped up in your house, it felt good to just dance. 

The music made you feel high, like you were tripping on just being alive. It was strange, something you’d never felt before, but you welcomed it readily. 

No matter how much fun you were having, you ended up excusing yourself when you got thirsty. You asked for some water and headed out the side door to get some air. The cool, night air felt incredible against your skin. You didn’t realize how hot you’d gotten. You sat down on one of the benches outside. 

The vaguely heard music from inside mixed with the quiet hum of the night. It was relaxing, and you closed your eyes for a moment to just listen. You breathed in deep and let it out slow.

It felt good to be out, and it made you wonder why you didn’t do it more often. You hadn’t been out like this since you started your business. At first, it was because things were still being set up, then it was because you were busy with all the new customers, but even when you got used to everything, you never went out like this.

You opened your eyes when someone sat down beside you, and a glance to your right revealed that it was Gundham.

“What are you doing out here?” You asked curiously.

He was quiet for so long that you began to think he wouldn’t answer, but eventually, he turned to you. “I wish to inquire about something.”

“What’s up?”

“That scar on your arm. Why have I never seen it until our bodily forms were swapped?” As he asked, he motioned to the long scar that stretched diagonally across your left forearm.

“Oh.” You traced your fingers along the scar. “I usually cover it with makeup.”

“Why?”

“Well, it’s kinda ugly, isn’t it?”

“Scars are a sign of perseverance in battle.”

“I don’t think you’d say that if you knew how I got it.” You murmured somberly.

“Why do you speak such nonsense?”

You were quiet for a moment. “...I tried to commit suicide once.”

He stared at you with wide eyes, too stunned to say anything.

“Sometimes I still wonder why I’m here. What point does my existence have? Does it really matter?” You tilted your head back to see the stars as you continued. “Sometimes I wonder if it’s easier to give up.”

You flinched at how suddenly he moved, but in a heartbeat, he was crouching in front of you.

“It seems you do not know the potential you hold, so allow me to enlighten you.” He watched you so intently as he cradled your face in his hands. His touch was gentle, like you were something precious, and it did something funny to your heart. “I have never met a mortal filled with so much compassion. You are humorous and strange. You are talented in your craft and an inspiration to those around you. You do not know the light you bring to this dark world.”

The sincerity in the words surprised you, but you found yourself smiling. “You’re something special, Gundham Tanaka.” You leaned forward and kissed him on the cheek. “Thank you.”

He stood up, looking away from you to hide the growing blush on his face.

You still saw it and giggled softly. “Why don’t we head back inside?” You stood up when he nodded and followed him back inside.

[esmeraldablazingsky]

I’ve finally hit my limit on the number of bad takes on the Lan parents I can see before I have to lay out all the reasons I disagree, so hello, I’m Blazie, and in this essay I will justify my visceral dislike of the assumption that Qingheng-jun married/imprisoned/had sex with Lan-furen against her will.

    Warning for mentions of rape (in context of Interpretations I Really Hate) and a very, VERY long post below the cut.

    Before I start going off about the finer points of all this, I want to make sure people are on the same page regarding what we actually know about what went down with Qingheng-jun and Lan-furen. What I say is based off the EXR translation of MDZS, for the sake of clarity, and although I don’t think the exact wording should be too important, feel free to let me know if you think I’ve missed an important bit of nuance or something (the whole story is in Chapter 64.)

    The story we get is told by Lan Xichen, and it goes like this: a young Qingheng-jun falls in love at first sight with Lan-furen, who doesn’t return his feelings, and at some point kills one of Qingheng-jun’s teachers over unspecified “grievances.” Although he’s understandably very upset over the murder, Qingheng-jun sneaks Lan-furen back to Cloud Recesses and officially marries her in order to announce to his clan that anyone who wants to hurt her has to go through him.

After that, he locks Lan-furen in one house and himself in another as a form of repentance. Wei Wuxian speculates that this was because “he could neither forgive the one who killed his teacher nor watch the death of the woman who he loved. He could only marry her to protect her life and force himself not to see her.” 

    A central detail of this story that I think people don’t give the import it deserves is that aside from marrying and protecting her, Qingheng-jun’s other option was to let Lan-furen be executed by his clan. His purpose in marrying her wasn’t just for kicks/out of a possessive sort of love, it was so she wouldn’t straight up die. How she felt about this arrangement isn’t stated, but I’ll get into that in a bit. In addition to that, Qingheng-jun and Lan-furen live separately, which was apparently purposeful on Qingheng-jun’s part, and runs counter to the interpretation that he intended to take sexual advantage of Lan-furen.

Though there aren’t many concrete details in Lan Xichen’s retelling, he does specifically inform Wei Wuxian that his mother never complained about remaining in her house. What exactly this signifies is unclear— whether she was simply putting on a brave face for her sons, or whether she was in fact at all content with the situation— but it at the very least serves to further muddy the waters on how she and Qingheng-jun felt about all this. 

Beyond what Lan Xichen and Wei Wuxian are saying out loud, there’s also quite a bit of subtext in this scene, especially in light of later events and revelations, like Lan Xichen’s confession for Lan Wangji at Guanyin Temple. 

So what is Lan Xichen trying to convey with all this? There’s a lot of memes about this scene, most of which err too far on the side of Himbo Airhead Lan Xichen for my liking, but one that I do find amusing emphasizes how Lan Xichen draws parallels between Wangxian and the story of his parents (Lan Xichen: [flute solo] please use your one brain cell to connect the dots.) If Wei Wuxian hadn’t completely lost his memory of Lan Wangji defending him against his own clan elders, one would assume that Lan Xichen’s story would have had a much better chance of hitting home. 

In hindsight and side by side, the parallels are much clearer— Qingheng-jun, “ignoring the objections from his clan… told everyone in the clan that she would be his wife for the rest of his life, that whoever wanted to harm her would have to pass through him first.” Similarly, according to Lan Xichen in Chapter 99, “for [Wei Wuxian,] not only did WangJi talk back to him, he even met with his sword the cultivators from the GusuLan Sect. He heavily injured all thirty-three of the seniors we asked to come.”

In that context, it makes a lot less sense to interpret Qingheng-jun as an aggressor towards Lan-furen, as in Lan Wangji’s case, the narrative clearly establishes that his actions are to secure Wei Wuxian’s safety. The action of Taking Someone Back To Cloud Recesses is— okay, actually, it’s a little more nuanced than I took into account when I started writing that sentence, so let me go a little deeper into Lan Wangji’s actions and how they relate to his father’s, story-wise. 

My intent is not to dive into the terrifying underworld of novel-versus-drama discourse, but simply put, Novel!Lan Wangji as he is written isn’t exactly the poster child for clear consent. (I’m going to entirely leave off the extra chapters for the sake of everyone’s sanity, so I’m just talking about the main body of the novel here.)

He means well, and I’m sure we can agree that he does actually love and want the best for Wei Wuxian, but his lack of communication on this point means that he accidentally gives Wei Wuxian the impression that he wants to imprison and/or punish him in Cloud Recesses at least twice off the top of my head (pre-timeskip, as we know, and post-timeskip immediately after Dafan Mountain when he actually drags Wei Wuxian back to his room.) 

That all likely has something to do with MXTX’s narrative kinks and regular kinks and all that, and can absolutely be taken with many grains of salt. However, these events establish how easy it is to misinterpret the action of Taking Someone Back To Gusu as an attempt to imprison rather than protect them (much to Lan Wangji’s chagrin.)

Failing to communicate his purpose to Wei Wuxian doesn’t mean that Lan Wangji actually had any intent of hurting or caging him— that was just a misinterpretation on Wei Wuxian’s part, and we, as the audience, find that out in due time— but as written in the novel, it can be really uncomfortable to read. Because of that, many people choose to accept CQL canon regarding Lan Wangji’s more possessive actions or mix characterization from different adaptations, which, to be clear, I completely understand and respect. 

However, Qingheng-jun doesn’t get the benefit of the doubt as often, which I frankly find baffling, because nowhere in the text does it state that Lan-furen objected to being taken back to Cloud Recesses, while even Wei Wuxian clearly objected the first few times. In fact, while we’re on this note, I’ll take it a step farther— I find it baffling that people seem to default to an unsympathetic view of Qingheng-jun, because nowhere in the text does it state that he overruled Lan-furen’s wishes in any way. The text doesn’t clarify a lot of things, actually, and that is part of the point. 

The narrators of MDZS are, in many situations, highly unreliable. This is, presumably, very purposeful! MDZS can easily be read as a sharp criticism of reputation and mass judgment and the concept of condemning people without knowing their motives! And I don’t want to sound mean, but guys… did any of us learn anything from that? Here, I’m going to put it in meme format for a second to convey what I mean. 

MDZS: It’s easy to condemn someone as a villain if you don’t know their story or the reasons behind their actions

MDZS: Anyway, here’s a character whose story and reasons behind his actions you know nothing about

Some Parts Of This Fandom: Ah, a villain 

    Memes aside, here’s what I want to point out. It’s entirely possible to assume Qingheng-jun was a bad person who disregarded a woman’s wishes in marrying and confining her when all you have is Lan Xichen’s (actually very neutral, thank you Lan Xichen for being an eminently reasonable and concerned-with-evidence character) account of what happened. It would also be at least that easy to assume Wei Wuxian was just an evil necromancer if he hadn’t un-died and brought his own story to light, or even to believe that Lan Wangji had somehow tamed Wei Wuxian into submission and being a respectable cultivator if you were an average citizen of Fantasy Ancient China with nothing but rumors to operate on. 

    The thing about Qingheng-jun and Lan-furen’s story, then, is that there is nobody left alive who knows the full tale. Nobody knows what they thought about anything, really. Nobody even knows why Lan-furen killed Qingheng-jun’s teacher. Wei Wuxian asks why, and Lan Xichen can’t tell him, but I think the best answer would be something along the lines of I don’t know, Wei Wuxian, why did you kill people? Your guess on the motivations of your own thinly disguised narrative parallel are as good as anyone’s. 

    So, while it’s not technically impossible to assign darker motives to Qingheng-jun, the cautionary tale of MDZS seems to warn against that exact assumption. 

    I’ve refrained from getting too salty on a personal level thus far, but now that I’ve said a lot of the more logical and story-based points of my argument, I will say that at least some of my annoyance with the interpretation of Qingheng-jun as a possessive rapist and Lan-furen as his victim stems from the fact that I just think it’s straight up boring. Where’s the nuance? Aren’t you tired of reducing these characters to the flattest possible versions of themselves? Don’t you just want to add a little flavor? 

    In a slightly more serious phrasing of that criticism, I find that making Lan-furen a helpless prisoner strips her of whatever agency she might otherwise have. To be fair, she’s more or less a non-character in keeping with the general state of the MDZS universe, but making her a damsel in distress only consigns her more deeply to hapless, milquetoast innocence. 

    It’s perfectly valid to enjoy ladies who have done nothing wrong, ever, in their lives, but like… Qin Su is right there, if that’s your ball game. There’s also really no need to make Qingheng-jun someone who doesn’t respect women. Isn’t Jin Guangshan enough for at least one universe? 

    Anyway, ultimately, you do you. I don’t like arguing on the internet, and will just ignore things I don’t agree with (or write an 1800 word vaguepost) like a mature human being. I’m just saying, if it’s a cut and dry tale of imprisonment and assault you’re looking for… you probably don’t want to turn to a woman who committed a murder and a man who loved her enough to forfeit everything to keep her safe. 

[sunflowerandco]

After the Fact: Act IV - Resolve

Act I / Act II / Act III

Rating: M/T 

        Courtney put the finishing touches on her final history paper. She had spent the better half of her morning, not to mention the week, perfecting the last portion of her thesis statement equipped with a counterargument and conclusion to complete. With her last task being editing, she gave herself five minutes to look at her phone. She noticed an abundance of messages from an assumed-to-be-hungover Bridgette in the aftermath of her bachelorette party.

         thanks for taking me home court

         at least i assume u took me home

         i don't remember much haha

         Courtney chuckled as she read the amount of mind gymnastics Bridgette put herself through. The coffee she attempted to sip on was beyond cold at this point.

         Yes, that was me lol. Rest up for tomorrow's rehearsal dinner.

         She shifted her focus to her laptop again before she heard their bedroom door close, and footsteps grow closer. Duncan entered the living room with his flannel half-buttoned, and his hair still wet from the shower. She remembered his excitement from the other day about having two new clients book appointments at the tattoo shop for today, and figured he was getting ready to head out. "Morning, Princess. How's the paper going?" She responded with her eyes still on the screen, studying each sentence's legitimacy.

         "I'm done actually! Now all it needs is a little polishing."

         "Even after being partying all of last night?"

         "Luckily, I never get drunk to the point where I can't function the next day," Courtney stretched her arms out. "And can still tend to my maid of honor duties." Duncan caught her wrists by his hand in a flirtatious effort to get her attention, encouraging a longer break from her extensive work. She had been going at it for nearly four hours before he walked in. He had no intention of breaking her focus earlier, but this moment was an exception.

         Courtney looked at him over her shoulder signaling for him to let go and placed her fingers on the keyboard again. "What about you? Were you handling the 'best man' title properly?" Duncan smirked before teasing her. "I am. But I could hardly focus with all the attention I was getting last night." Courtney rolled her eyes while he added on. "How was the club last night?"

         Courtney played up her response to throw him off. "Oh, nothing. The usual strip club activities. Drinks flowing, ass and abs in your face," She turned to face him over her shoulder again. "Bridgette and the girls seemed to really enjoy themselves."

         Duncan hunched over to the level of her desk chair, placing his hands on her shoulders. "They can't do this though," he said softly in her ear. He kissed slowly down her neck and Courtney's head automatically tilted to the left to give him better access. She still tried to keep her eyes on her paper, but the lower his hands went down her arms, the more her concentration wavered. She inaudibly gasped when she felt his fingers cling to the hem of her shirt, his knuckles grazing her sides. His voice still rang softly in her ear. "Want me to stop?" Duncan faced her and waited for her answer.

         Courtney shook her head no, and Duncan's hands made their way underneath her shirt and lightly brushed up and down her waist. His lips traveled from her neck to her shoulder, and his hands brushed up once more before they cupped her breasts. She gasped lightly at the sensation the pattern of his thumbs circling gave. Every flick sent shocks down to her core. She could barely get his name out of her mouth.

         "Duncan..." She could feel him smirking against her neck, and she rolled her eyes.

         "Tell me what you want." His hands remained under the tight fabric of her shirt. Truth be told, he wanted her since last night. Being surrounded by other women just made him want Courtney even more. His mind filled with visuals of the two of them, and he couldn’t, would never complain.

         It increasingly became more prevalent to Duncan that he didn't want to see anyone else the way he saw Courtney. It had been that way for five years, and he couldn't see it changing at all.

         "Take me. On the couch."

         In one motion Duncan turned the chair on its wheels so that she was facing him. He wrapped one arm around her waist and one hand to the back of Courtney's thigh. Courtney was finally at eye level with him, and her hands cupped his face when she hungrily drew kisses on his lips, lightly tugging on his lower lip with her teeth. When she let go, he planted soft kisses on her inner thighs. Duncan had every intention to burn her tension away to construct new pressure by some incredibly desirable design. Courtney lied back when they heard her phone ring on the desk. Duncan sighed and loosened the grip he had on her thighs when her attention shifted.

         She reluctantly got up from the couch to see Bridgette's name flash across the screen, and she picked it up to answer. "Hello?" She was met with a panicked, hasty voice on the line. Bridgette's words seemed to all get launched into the air at the same time.

         "Courtney! I really need you! I woke up to go to the bathroom and I tried to take my ring off before going in the shower and it's not on my finger!" Courtney tried her best to calm her down and retrace her steps.

         "Okay, okay, Bridgette. Slow down. It could've fallen off somewhere in your place. Or in your bed?"

         "No I swear I looked everywhere! What if I l-left it at the club or something?"

         "Then, we'll look there. We'll look everywhere we can, okay? Do you need me to pick you up?"

         "Yes"

         "Okay, then I'll be there in twenty minutes. See you soon." Courtney set her phone down and took a deep breath. Duncan made his way to her to rub his hands along her arms. "Go ahead. You have maid of honor duties, and I have to go head to the shop." She gave him a peck before turning to their bedroom to get dressed.

         "Don't forget where we left off! And good luck today!" Duncan wouldn't forget feeling extremely lucky in their version of a predicament.

                                                         ***

         Courtney entered their apartment after having dropped off Bridgette once again from a panic-filled escapade that ended in good resolve. Her ring was found, back on her finger, and all each had to worry about was the rehearsal dinner happening on the next day. Courtney was more than prepared for the day.  She was already looking forward to a night on the couch before another eventful day.

         Courtney dumped her purse on the table in the hallway preceding the living room. She could make out that the lights were on, but it was eerily quiet. She called out for him.

         "Babe? Are you in there?"

         Duncan affirmed in a low voice. "Yeah. I'm in here."

         When she walked into the living room, she found Duncan sitting on the couch. His head was down, and he was covering one side of his face with his hand. She hastily walked up to him and gently lifted his head by his chin to see fresh, major discoloration around his right eye that extended down to his cheek. His bright teal eyes stared into Courtney's earnestly. She instinctively opened her mouth in shock.

         "What happened to you?" Courtney quickly turned on her heels. She grabbed an ice pack from the freezer and placed it above his cheek. He took hold of it before he started talking.

         His voice remained as low as possible. His explanation was simple, but he couldn't express it simply. His tone seethed with unresolved anger. "I got in a fight at the shop." He got up from the couch and his back toward Courtney.

         "A fight?! What the hell were you thinking?!" She followed behind him. "You could lose your job doing stuff like that!"

         He finally turned to her in disbelief. "Is that all you care about?!" Courtney couldn't help but feel misunderstood. She was angry at him for misinterpreting; she was angry at herself for her choice of words. It grew harder for her to control the volume of her voice.

         "No! Thats not the case. I just thought you'd learn not to risk good things for yourself and let your anger go for once!"

         They usually bickered. Got under each other’s skin as a way of flirting, but this time felt incredibly different from the others. They could see each other's upset, their words jumbled up and void of understanding for the other's point of view. A passionate need for one to grasp onto the other's words but failing in execution.

         Duncan's desire to explain himself diminished when he realized she already made her assumptions, but he still took offense to Courtney's words. "I’m not gonna be perfectly poised like you, so you can forget that Courtney." There wasn't much more she could say before he passed her to slam their bedroom door shut.

         Courtney got so worked up she holed herself into her studying nook. She read over passages in her textbook until she wasn't thinking about Duncan anymore. One, two, three hours would pass by before she realized midnight had rolled around, and she was five minutes away from falling asleep onto her textbook. She had to join him in bed eventually.

         She peered through the door. The light from the hallway highlighted the curves of Duncan under the comforter. She quietly lied on her side, but still faced the opposite way of him. It was the first and only time she ever felt cold under so many blankets. Courtney closed her eyes tightly and thought of every possible scenario she could imagine until her mind let her slip away.

                                                        ***

         Duncan's eyes fluttered open slowly when the morning sun beamed on his face through the window. He looked next to him to see the girl he pulled in every morning wasn't on her side of the bed. The gel pack he steadily held to his eye for most of the night landed off his body and onto the floor when he lifted the blankets. He left the room, and still no sign of Courtney. He assumed she already met with Bridgette to help prepare the rehearsal dinner.

        Duncan stepped into the bathroom and was reminded of incident that gave him this very bruise. The memory of the conversation before the incident rang in his mind repeatedly. He had followed all the guidelines taught to him by Anya, kept his cool to the best of his ability, and he still managed to fuck up. He managed to mess things up with Courtney.

        "I'm sorry, dude. You're way too drunk. I cannot give you a tattoo."

        Still, he was met with hostility. An angry drunk who wouldn't take no for an answer. He thought about her once.

        "Then what the fuck do you assholes get paid for?! Either you do what I ask, or I'll make you!"

         He was shoved. Punched. He thought about her once more. He knew what she'd say, and situations like these kept her voice in the back of his head. But Duncan had a difficult time facing the habit of establishing this desired image in a new public setting. It worked out for him at times in his youth; hurting before he could get hurt and maintaining the reputation that kept people out of his way. Yes, his job is still intact, and he could thank Anya for her judgement. However, all he saw in the mirror was a mark brought onto him that, in retrospect, wasn't even worth it. The ice prevented it from shutting his eye completely, and only gave his lid a grim, purple hue. All he saw in their room was the empty bed he fell asleep angry and woke up in.

                                                          ***

         Duncan pulled up to the old manor the wedding and dinner were taking place. He stopped short of the fountain that led to the path of the entrance for valet. He opened double doors and was swept into high ceilings, music relevant to the occasion, and too much dark wood. He was seen by a few members of the wedding party, Marie, Chet, and Betty, by the coat room. He gave an efficient wave before realizing why their mouths were agape.

         He gave up and instead walked down another hall, into another room, and there she was. The only woman that could catch his eye when he walked into a room. She had her back turned and was engaged in conversation with Bridgette and their high school classmate, LeShawna. She was wearing that red backless dress she brought home last week; her beautiful, warm skin uncovered. He knew he stared a little too long when Bridgette noticed him from across the room. Bridgette's halt in conversation made Courtney turn around. Their eyes automatically locked, and all the supposed anger expressed the night before didn't matter to him. He wanted to talk to her, to talk things out between them. He could admit they were both hurt in the process, and maturity begets resolve. But he was brought out of his thoughts when Geoff put a hand on his shoulder.

        "Dude! I was looking for you! I need to-" He was cut off when Duncan turned to face him, and his focus ceased. "What the hell happened to you?" Duncan brushed it off, shook his head, and deemed it not worth explaining.

        "Don't worry about it. What did you need?"

        "Last minute question that I totally forgot to ask you: steak or fish?"

        "Uh... steak?"

        "Okay, great! That's what I told the caterers." A voice projected over the loudspeaker.

        "Dinner is now served. Everyone can enter the dining room at this time."

                                                          ***

        After hours of preparation and arranging, Courtney and Bridgette were able to enjoy the venue they spent the entirety of their day in. Courtney stuck to the nervous bride's side throughout conversations she'd have with the wedding party. Of course, they were all people she grew close with over the years, but months of preparation would leave any bride fretful of failure. They were both truly able to relax when LeShawna arrived. They were free to talk and laugh about anything they wanted, and Courtney could take her mind off the one guy she looked around for every now and then. It was a special bond for those who've met in their youth could only describe.

        "Yes, he told me he loved me after throwing up on a Ferris wheel. Thing was going 5 miles per hour!"

        "He did not!" LeShawna said in between laughs. "Why am I just hearing about this now?"

        "To save him from total embarrassment, LeShawna. That's why!" LeShawna turned to Courtney this time.

        "What about you, Courtney? I think we all know Duncan said it first." Bridgette giggled as she added along.

        "Oh my gosh, yes! I remember the day you told me like it was yesterday." Bridgette's voice wavered towards the end of her recollection. "You were so freaked out..." Her eye contact came to a complete stop, and Courtney's curiosity made her head turn.

        That's when she saw him.

        She felt a warm wave flow through her when she noticed his gaze. All the fear that kept her from hopeful thinking vanished after her eyes locked with his in some natural happenstance. He was wearing the black suit jacket and tie they picked out together last week. She hated to admit it, but the bruised eye and darkened knuckles made him even more enticing. Seeing him look for her created this magnetic pull that she couldn't fight off. Both of her friends' comments fell into the background; the sound of their voices fading more and more.

        "His eye doesn't look too bad."

        "The look is actually very on-brand for Duncan."

        Their stare broke when Geoff appeared behind him, and he turned his head. She turned back to her friends slowly as well. She couldn't really say anything, nor did she want to talk about her problems on Bridgette's special weekend, so she just smiled half-heartedly. She had told Bridgette what happened before the guests arrived, but Courtney firmly restricted talking about it when the event started. She was spared of any questions when the loudspeaker ushered the wedding party into the dining room.

        Courtney and LeShawna looked for their name cards in front of seats at the table. They sat down next to each other when Duncan found his own seat across from Courtney at the table while Bridgette and Geoff entered together.

        "Hi everyone! I just wanted to thank all of you for coming tonight and taking on the task of becoming bridesmaids, groomsmen, best man, and maid of honor." Geoff continued this time. "We're really happy to share that my father, the host, has prepared a few words to say tonight." Bridgette sat down next to Courtney in the center, Geoff did the same across from her.

        He stood up from his chair, notecards in his hand, and Courtney gave him her full attention. "Good evening. I'm Daniel Patton, this is my wife, Donna, and we're so thankful you could join us on the eve of Geoff and Bridgette's wedding. I'm so honored to be speaking in front of you all for two people who are very special to me. Way back when my boy was twelve, I knew Geoff was head over heels for Bridgette. He'd never stop talking about her, and he started making changes about himself. I never complained about it because that just meant from now on, he'd shower every day." He paused for a moment while light chuckles filled the room. "If there's one thing you could take away from this lovely couple, it would be their unconditional love for each other." Daniel gestured to them before he continued. "Love, above all, is a choice you make every day when you wake up in the morning." Courtney stared down into her lap as she took in his words. She tried not to remember the flames of her anger that lead her and Duncan to the state of their relationship and couldn't help but blame herself. She felt a light tap on her leg coming from across the table and looked forward. She looked at him and she swore time stopped.

        He'd given her that look before. In times where she got so wrapped up in her own thoughts and couldn't think straight. She was brought back to her bedroom in her frantic search for their clothing and his incredulous ability to bring that sense of calm to her body with just his shirt and a look. She allowed herself to bore into his eyes for this moment as Daniel spoke words of guidance. She felt the dust of her dueling thoughts settle. "You choose the one you're in love with through life's trials and tribulations. Even in the midst of your anger, choose love. It's the ultimate test of strength. Choosing love is the reason I get welcome Bridgette to our family and celebrate the joining of two people who become better every day because of their union." Their exchange came to a halt when Daniel requested everyone to raise a toast to the bride and groom. Still, the feeling radiated in her chest knowing it would all be okay.

                                                          ***

        After the dinner came the afterparty, and as much as Courtney loved her friends, she admittedly needed a minute to give into her introverted nature. She spent the beginning of the event looking for Duncan to find her boyfriend getting swept up to party with the groomsmen. Courtney felt compelled to stop him. To get him to follow her. In an unusual feat, she snuck away to the second floor of the manor and found a balcony in one of the parlors looking over an abundance of mountains. She decided the houses on them always looked better far away. Courtney breathed in deeply and shut her eyes when a light breeze passed. Her head turned at the sound of the voice she wanted to hear all night.

       "Want company?"

        "Duncan, I-"

        "Wait," He pulled her into a warm embrace, buried his face into her neck, and his frame swallowed hers the tighter he held onto her. Courtney sighed mostly in relief, and all the words she suppressed years ago in his car came rushing to her. She needed him to know everything.

        "I'm sorry for the way I expressed my worry. I just saw the black eye and immediately thought about the past. I didn't even ask how it happened." By now they were face to face. "Losing your job is not what I care about most. It's losing you that scares me." She cursed herself when tears brimmed in her eyes. Duncan's hands traveled up to hold her face. "I-I love you so much, Duncan. You're the only person I see with me when I think of my future, and you're never this perfect version of yourself, and neither am I. We're just us, and it's enough." She didn't notice how heavy her breath felt until she let all the words out. He let her go before he started explaining himself.

        "In a way I knew what you meant. Sometimes I just go back to the past, too, knowing there were no real consequences for the shit I did. Detention, suspension, and sometimes juvie. I never really cared. But I've gained too much these past few years to let some loser take it away from me." Duncan could only lay himself bare this way to Courtney. He was always flirtatious, and he had no problem telling her exactly how he felt. "You save my life every time, Princess. If it's me who you want to ruin yours, then I'm your guy." Courtney playfully rolled her eyes at the comment.

        "Please ruin my life, Duncan." Courtney genuinely smiled knowing their lives could go back to how they love it. Duncan wasted no time to express the thought he'd been holding in since last night.

        "Don't have to tell me twice. Also, you can stop pretending my eye doesn't turn you on."

        "I have no idea what you're talking about."

        "Oh, come on, Courtney." Duncan slowly inched closer to her. "You're telling me you don't want me, right here, right now?" Courtney looked him up and down and turned her back on him as she held onto the railing of the balcony.

        She had to admit the clash of his formal wear with his bruises aroused her in every aspect. While her mind kept her too lost in thought to respond, Duncan hunched slightly over her, his hands on her shoulders, and left kisses down her neck with every statement.

        "I want you. I want to pick up where you told me not to forget, and you look incredibly sexy in this dress."

        She turned to face him and kissed him in an ardent haze. Every pattern they drew made her want to deepen the kiss. She ran her tongue lightly across his lower lip, and he parted his lips wider to give her enough space to pour all her love onto him.

        Courtney pulled him in close enough to have her back leaning on the balcony. Duncan had one hand in her hair and another hand on her bare back pressing her against him.

        Courtney stole a moment to look behind them to see no one outside currently. Duncan leaned in, and her hand stood on his chest to slow him down. Her mind jumped back and forth between chasing release in this setting, but she couldn't withstand the pull. "I can't believe I'm saying this... Did you bring protection?"

        "Always do."

        "I hate y- ah!" Courtney yelped as Duncan lifted her over his shoulder from the balcony to the parlor. When Duncan lied her down on the chaise lounge, Courtney sat up to kiss him again. Duncan used one hand to hold her back and the other to loosen his tie. In hushed exchanges and rushed session, Courtney contradicted her words over and over, and knew she would continue to do so for years to come.

A/N: I apologize if this was out of character as i'm still trying to determine their words/choice as adults this far in their relationship. ANYWAY i hope you liked. tell me what you think

[arsnovacadenza]

Jean d’Arc Route Summary and Translation Chp.4

Disclaimer: This is an unofficial translation based on my somewhat serviceable Japanese skills with the aid of various kanji dictionaries (and some Google Translate). As I’m doing this mostly for practice, progress will be relatively slow and there might be changes to formatting in the future. Thank you for your patience and understanding

The italicized words in brackets are the comments I made throughout my playthrough.

 As promised, here’s my summary and translation of Jean D’Arc’s route in Ikemen Vampire. Obviously, there will be SPOILERS.

Before we jump right into Chp. 4, let me give little bit of context from chapter 3 since I didn't think to translate Jean's route from the very beginning:

Comte called a meeting with other vampires in the mansion to explain their entire situation to MC. So far, they've told her about their vampiric nature and their diet. Aside from Arthur, nobody else drank blood directly from humans. Even so, Napoleon told her to at least have some caution (although he can promise that nobody was going to bite her in the future).

MC asked where Jean was since he wasn't present in the dining room where they held the meeting. Mozart asked her to come along with him to Jean's quarters on the second floor (surprise, surprise, he didn't live in some ominous tower detached from the building).

Mozart point-blank confronted MC about her bite mark, which he guessed was Jean's doing. In case you haven't read up on Chp. 1 spoilers, Jean bit MC on the first night she arrived as a mansion, afterward telling her that she should've been more alert because she WAS living among stronger creatures that COULD potentially prey on her..

(Our boy sure loves to emphasize the monstrous side of vampirism and how it changed him into a predatory creature far detached from his previous human self. There's just so much to talk about here).

MC, of course, is overwhelmed by the whole situation, including Jean's reasoning for biting her. So, she asked Mozart about Jean's possible logic for doing it since they seemed to be close friends.

And that brings us to the beginning of Chapter 4.

MC, of course, was overwhelmed by the whole situation, including Jean's reasoning for biting her. So, she asked Mozart about Jean's possible logic for doing it since they seemed to be close friends.

And that brings us to the beginning of Chapter 4. 

Mozart retorted, "To think that I can talk about his feelings on his behalf just because we're friends is a ridiculous assumption."

MC is taken aback by his sharp words, but admitted that he's right anyway.

He continued "In other words, go talk to him yourself and use your head."

And just like that, he opened a door and pushed MC into a room, sending her barreling on the floor. He then closed the door and called out to her from outside, basically saying. "Your misunderstanding of our relationship is wack. Come back after you talk to the guy himself."

She thought about the absurdity of the situation as the sound of Mozart's footsteps grew distant. Suddenly, a shadow fell upon her, and she followed to where it led.

In front of her was a figure gazing at her with empty eyes.

It's Jeanne. "What are you doing here?" he asked.

She stood up and apologized for suddenly barging into his room while averting her eyes from Jean's. Then she continued.

"As I'm going to burden myself upon everyone in this mansion for a month, I thought about paying my respects again." To which Jean only answered. "Is that so."

MC tried to give him an excuse as to why she wanted to go to such lengths just to greet him, which Jean didn't seem to care about. (Boy, he's rude let me tell you.)  All the while, she kept thinking about how she'd soon be saying goodbye to everyone in the mansion without coming to terms with this one guy.

As MC fidgeted under his unwavering stare, she suddenly remembered her earlier talk with Mozart. She needed to confront Jean about the biting incident and understand his side of the story. 

Piecing together the information she obtained from the morning meeting with everyone else, especially about their mealtimes and regarding Blanc and Rouge, she concluded that he didn't bite her out of starvation.

And she also looked back to Jean's words on that fateful night.

"If you want to return to the safety of your world, you better have a sense of danger."

"Think about how you should act to protect yourself."

(So basically Jean's telling her "If you ain't strong enough you ain't gonna last long, bitch")

But MC decided to press him more, anyway. "Why, on that night, did you bite me? Can you tell me?"

Jean answered, "If I told you the reason why what are you going to do with it?"

(Jean, that is not how you talk to ppl)

An awkward atmosphere hung between them, but Jean continued. "You weren't aware that we're vampires."

"Your wandering aimlessly around the mansion is an eyesore—"

"If you think I'm an eyesore, won't it be better if you're free of my presence?"

"Even if you said I was just an eyesore," she fired at Jean. "You didn't exactly see me as prey, do you?"

And Jean basically just answered, “Quite the carefree woman, aren’t you?”

My arms were pulled, and fingers encased in a white glove tilted up my chin.*

"Regarding that night, it doesn't matter to me however you interpret it,"  he murmured. "If you think of it as me being kind to you [for giving you a warning about the true nature of this mansion's residents], so be it."

"Don't approach me anymore outside of this, and get out of here this instant."

After Jean gave her the boot, MC broke down and thought about the entire confrontation, her heart racing. However, she managed to collect herself and left Jean’s door. Unbeknownst to her, Mozart had been watching the entire scene from afar. "Alas, it's no use, is it?" he sighed.

“Indeed. It is an impossible feat to unlock Monsieur Jean’s heart, especially for a newcomer like MC”

That surprised Mozart pushed MC into Monsieur Jeanne’s room.

The butler asked Mozart if he was worried about Jean. From the time they first met, Jean had been “rejecting various things, and at the same time absolutely gives up on everything.”

"The reason for that, I don’t know….. That's Jean's way of life. He can do as he pleases."

"But as his friend....it does concern me a little."

“A friendship between beautiful people, how precious!”

(That’s not what you should be focusing on, you idiot).

“Herr Mozart, if you give up, then that’s when everything is truly over.” Sebastian beamed. “Please leave it to me as this mansion’s butler, for I have something in mind.”

Mozart shrugged his shoulders as he gazed at the eccentric butler’s smile.

(This part is more dialogue and screenshot-heavy as I want to avoid misinterpretation as much as possible)

A quiet night descends upon a moonlit church at the foot of a forest, far away from the mansion. Inside, a lone man walks under the moonlight, reflected on the stained glass patterns. He narrowed his orbs*, whose left and right colors are different.

“Master, do forgive me for not paying my respects as of late.” He greeted another man.

“Ah, Will. Have there been any changes lately?”

Will proceeded to tell ??? about a young woman stumbling through the door from another world and into the mansion. He also notified Vlad that the Comte has allowed her to impose on them for a month.

The white-haired man smiled amusedly. “Ah, the most intriguing things do occur, don’t they?”

“But what I can’t comprehend,” Shakespeare frowned. “This woman is seemingly an ordinary human of no virtue.”

“As if an impurity has mixed in with the brilliance of the great men.”

Shakespeare hoped that she wouldn’t be a hindrance to his plans, and I quote:   “A creature that only invites tragedies instead of comedies. And I have no use of such mediocre tragedies.”

After some exchange, ??? said,  “A creature that only invites tragedies instead of comedies. And I have no use of such mediocre tragedies.”

"Indeed," Shakespeare concurred. "I strive for the finest tragedy with the most exquisite cast."

"The great men who are set to dance on the stage you've set up," His master smirked. "They make the finest marionettes, don't they?"

"That is why, Master, I've decided to join hands with you."

"With you, who carries the same power as the Count....."

"What is it you desire, Will?"

"Can you lend me your power and arrange for a livelier cast?"

"The greater the obstacle they face, the more exceptional the tragedy that ensues."

"I'll think about it," his master replied. 

Smiling elegantly, the red-eyed man looked up at the moon. Behind his eyes shone a glint of a power that can move the entire world.

(In KennieJD’s words: “You both deserve each other cause y’all crazy as hell”).

*1: I nearly fell off my chair translating this part

*2: The original kanji says “双降”, which doesn’t come up if you search on any kanji dictionary. I asked Asha about this, and she said it’s a typo on Cybird’s part. It’s supposed to be 双眸, which means ‘a  pair of eyes’

I didn't intend this to be this lengthy and dialogue-focused, but I realized that I really enjoy writing lines for bitchy characters. Jean and Vlad's were especially a delight to work with! I couldn’t do much for Shakespeare’s lines tho. I haven't been an English Literature student for two years.

Tagging @hokkaido-fox​ for now. Let me know if you want to be tagged in upcoming summaries and mini-translations!

Credits to @ashavazesa​ for her tremendous help with some of the kanji. 

[petracore101]

Well the Winter hate is making a comeback, so I guess it’s time I talk about her characterization in V7.

Buckle up folks. It’s a long one.

Winter’s first ‘appearance’ in this volume is as a projection, mirroring Ironwood’s position. She appears after him, echoing his authoritarian stance. But the first time we actually encounter her, she cuts in ahead of him, before he can even speak, to demand her sister be freed immediately. “Take those off before I start hurting you.” She’s still clearly Ironwood’s subordinate, but when her sister is at risk, she doesn’t hesitate to take charge, regardless of how it looks. I bring this up first because I think it implies right off the bat that Winter’s true motivations might not be wholly aligned with Ironwood’s. She trusts and respects Ironwood, and willingly follows his lead when it comes to the world. But that version of her- the obedient soldier- is a facade. One which is (temporarily) dispelled when someone she loves is in trouble.

Bringing me to my first point- Winter may try to present as cold and unfeeling, but she cares deeply for the ones she loves. She’s affectionate with both Weiss and Penny, and clearly loves them both a great deal. Her love for her sister or Penny has been the focus of most scenes she’s been in, despite the fact that she’s essentially Ironwood’s 2nd. She also quickly took to Ruby this volume, and seems to have a good deal of respect for her and the rest of Weiss’s teammates. Based on her reactions at the dinner party, she seems to think that RWBY is having a positive affect on Ironwood. And she’s incredibly proud of how far her sister has come, and of the family she’s developed along the way.

Which gives me my 2nd point- Winter both loves and trusts Weiss, and prioritizes their relationship over most everything else. Half way through the volume, Weiss and Winter get to really talk. @robynshill did a really good analysis of this, so I’ll keep mine brief. Essentially, they talk about their emotional journeys after leaving their family home, and Winter even suggests that Weiss join her in the Atlas military now that she’s free. But it’s Winter’s reaction to Weiss’s concerns about Atlas/Ironwood that interest me most.

Winter first reassures her sister that Atlas will soon shift it’s focus to helping the rest of the world. “We will. Once we’ve weathered the storm, we will.” She defends the general, but also, crucially, acknowledges that he’s made mistakes. “I know the general hasn’t done everything perfectly, but he’s doing what he thinks is right.” Already, she’s willing to reveal to her sister that she has some amount of doubt about their current course. Her focus here is on doing what’s right, and at this moment, she believes that Ironwood knows what that is better than she does. When Weiss questions that assumption, and his decisions to hide things, Winter instinctively doubles down (almost like she’s been groomed to defend him). “Ironwood isn’t keeping secrets. Not from me.” But Weiss knows what that sort of dedication often means, having only recently shaken it herself, and she keeps pushing. And Winter, because she’s not just some lapdog, and because she loves and trusts her sister, considers it. She’s past the instinctive reaction now, and trying to decide if she is really sure that Ironwood trusts her with the whole truth.

She’s let’s herself look worried, and actually unsure for one of the first times in the whole series. And then she decides to share a secret with Weiss. Likely a secret that Ironwood has not cleared her to share, given that neither Winter nor Weiss bring it up again, and no one is shown telling the others.

The way she presents the maiden info tells us that (point 3) not only is Winter conflicted, but she is only able to move past that conflict becasue she believes this will allow her to do good. The moment we see between Winter and Fria is bittersweet. Winter, at first, is sweet and gentle, but her face turns sad and almost remorseful as they sit. This is clearly not a responsibility that sits easily on Winter’s shoulders. Back with Weiss, she explains that it was difficult to come to terms with, but “the more I thought about it, the more I saw it as a privilege. A chance to do some real good. For Atlas, for Remnant.” This may not be exactly what she wants, but she does want to bring good into the world, the whole world, not just Atlas. And she doesn’t use Ironwoods language here- her goal is not simply to protect. Her motivation is ever so slightly different- she wants to do real good.

It’s important for her that, despite having been groomed for the position, she sees it as her own choice to accept it. “I’m choosing it now. I’ve made it my own. And I take great pride in it. That has nothing to do with father, or the general. That belongs to me.” When she mentiones her father, her face grows defiant. When she mentions Ironwood, she looks down and away, as if ashamed. And when she claims it as her own... she gives Weiss this look:

Pride, hope, acceptance, but also some sadness. She is glad for the chance to do good, but she also needs to believe that she is doing it on her own terms. She’s proud of having found a way to do that, proud of having carved out her own destiny in life. This isn’t something she’s doing for Ironwood or anyone else, she’s doing it for herself, so she can be the person she wants to be. But, on some level, this choice makes her sad. Sure, Ironwood’s trust and acceptance matter a great deal to her, but what she truly wants is the agency to choose to do good. And some part of her isn’t sure that this is the way to achieve that.

There’s one more scene I need to talk about before I make my final point, and it’s one I think is widely misinterpreted by most of the FNDM. So bear with me.

After election night, when Ironwood & co are discussing next steps, it’s Winter who brings up the possibility of martial law. Now, I’ve seen a lot of people go after her for this, and I get the frustration, but I do not think she suggested it because she wanted him to take that course. I think she did it to make sure that someone would talk him out of it.

See, I don’t think it was by accident that she brings it up right next to Nora (who’s been advocating for Mantle from the start) and Ruby,(who’s thus far been pretty effective at getting through to Ironwood). If she wanted to convince him to declare martial law, she could easily have waited until the kids left. But I think she knew he was already considering it (I mean, he didn’t sound very surprised when she raised the possibility), and didn’t think he would listen to her (or any subordinates) if she tried to convince him not to do it. But Nora and Ruby? Of course outsiders, especially ones who’s trust Ironwood wants to earn, would have a much better shot at convincing him. So she brought it up right in front of them, ensuring that they’d do all they could to talk Ironwood down from that ledge. Which is exactly what they do. And she watches without ever trying to stop them, looking concerned at first and vaguely satisfied when then succeed.

Winter’s been in the military most of her adult life. She likely knows Ironwood better than anyone, and would be well aware of his mental state. She’s shown repeatedly that she’s not nearly as blind a follower as she pretends to be. And though she cares deeply for him, it ultimately does not take precedent over her love for Weiss (and quite possibly her love for Penny as well). Her moral code, too, differs from his. Her focus is always on doing good, while his goal is to protect. While those two things have been mostly aligned up til now, this last episode changed that. [spoilers for ep 11 ahead]

Ironwood’s just given her a choice between continuing to try and do good in the face of potential disaster, or doing bad things to more reliably protect (some) people. With his ideology, that choice may seem simple. But Winter doesn’t share that ideology. She wants to do good, and that makes the choice more complicated. To make this worse, she now knows that Ironwood has turned against Ruby, and, by extension, Weiss. And she’s with Penny, the protector of Mantle, who I have no doubt will choose to side with the people she feels responsible for, not the man who gives her orders. Essentially, all the people Winter loves will make the choice that her own beliefs tell her is right and good. But to make that choice, she must reject the man who gave her a place and a purpose.

RT has done impressively well with the arcs of abuse victims so far (with Blake, Weiss, and even Willow/Whitley), and I don’t think they’ll falter with Winter’s. Her emotional journey thus far has been about learning to make her own choices, take agency over her own destiny, and embrace her family and the ones she loves. For her to side with Ironwood now would not only mean abandoning that family and character growth, but also betraying her core ideals and the foundational beliefs that make her who she is. And I just don’t see a fantasy hope-punk show like RWBY writing that kind of story.

[abigailnussbaum]

Infinity Train, S1-3

Infinity Train is a Cartoon Network animated series (now transferred to HBO Max) that premiered last year. Three seasons, each made up of ten 10-minute episodes, have aired, so you can watch the whole thing in an afternoon. The premise is quite familiar - the titular train picks up passengers (mostly, though not always, children) who are at some kind of crossroads in their lives. As they traverse cars filled with challenges, puzzles, dangers, and sometimes just nifty environments to explore, the passengers work through whatever issue brought them on to the train. Their progress towards wellness is reflected in a number that appears on their hand, and when the number drops to zero a vortex appears and returns them to their home. The train also contains native inhabitants, usually referred to as “denizens”, who sometimes help the passengers, sometimes hinder them, and are often just going about their own lives.

Like I said, the sort of premise familiar from many children’s stories, in which a character who is struggling with some important challenge or milestone is whisked off to a fantasy setting that just happens to have been tailored to help them work through their problems. The execution is pretty fantastic, with both the writing and animation striking a compelling mixture of humor and emotional depth. The train itself is a wonderful creation, vast and often surreal or even phantasmagorical, and the denizens are quirky and winning in their own right, not just as reflections of the passengers’ needs. The show also features an absolutely stacked voice cast, with guest appearances from Kate Mulgrew, Bradley Whitford, Ernie Hudson, Lena Headey, and many others.

But what I find fascinating about Infinity Train is how, almost from the first episode, it sets to work examining the core assumptions of its story template, chiefly the idea that the train is helping people, and that its kind of help is effective and positive. As someone who grew up on stories like Infinity Train and didn’t question their premise until I got older, it’s fun to watch a show that leans right into those inherent problems.

The first season of Infinity Train tells its story pretty straight. Our protagonist is Tulip, a tween who is struggling with her parents’ recent divorce. When a scheduling snafu between them leaves Tulip unable to get to a youth coding camp she’d been dreaming of, she impulsively runs away from home, and ends up being picked up by the train. There, she’s quickly joined by a royal corgi called Atticus, and a scatterbrained robot called One-One, who try to help her in her journey towards the train’s engine. Along the way, the trio are menaced by a sinister, semi-robotic figure who is destroying the environments in the train’s cars, and who seems to be fixated on One-One.

Even in this fairly basic spin on the story, a few reservations crop up: first, Tulip doesn’t actually have a real problem. Yes, her parents’ divorce has put a strain on her, but she still seems fairly well-adjusted - she has friends and interests and, apart from the ill-advised decision to run away, doesn’t seem to be acting out in dangerous ways. The things she learns over the course of her journey through the train - to face up to the hurt that her family’s breakdown has caused her, to admit that her parents’ marriage wasn’t perfect, to realize that their divorce wasn’t her fault, to ask for help when she needs it - are probably things she would have figured out as she gained some distance from the trauma of the divorce (or, for that matter, that any halfway-decent child psychologist would have helped her realize). It’s hard to justify a cosmic interference in her life, much less one that puts her in mortal danger, as the journey up the Infinity Train often does

And sure, this is a children’s adventure story, so it’s far more compelling to watch the child protagonist struggle with real danger (that is always avoided at the last possible minute) than attend a therapy session. Even if, as adult viewers, we might see the whole thing as unjustifiably risky. But the thing is, Tulip herself very quickly expresses resentment towards the train. When she realizes that the number on her hand drops when she does something healthy and good, Tulip’s reaction is anger, and for a while she refuses to cooperate with the system, covering her hand and refusing to consider how her actions are affecting her number. Even within the children’s adventure template, the child protagonist says what most of us would feel in her situation - that being kidnapped and made to jump through hoops for the sake of some seemingly arbitrary, numerical value of “wellness” is high-handed and manipulative, and encourages hostility and suspicion, rather than participation in the train’s system.

Ultimately, Tulip goes back to playing along with the train’s scheme and benefits from it. She gets her number down to zero fairly quickly, and gets to go back home. But along the way she also solves the mystery of the train’s mysterious villain, who turns out to be another passenger, Amelia, who was picked up by the train after the death of her husband. Instead of letting the train walk her through her grief and learn to accept it, Amelia tried to take over the train and use its reality-bending capabilities to recreate her lost husband. Along the way she’s committed so many acts of abuse and mayhem that her number has extended all the way to her neck. So even once Tulip talks her down and convinces her to stop hurting people, they both acknowledge that she’s never going to get off the train (oh, and by the way, the journey on the train happens in real time, so Amelia is now an old woman).

Now, it should be obvious that Amelia’s problem was significantly more complex and fraught than Tulip’s, and rather than helping her, the train gave her a venue to indulge her grief to anti-social, even psychotic extremes. So at the end of the first season, we’ve encountered two passengers. One who benefitted from the train’s system (after some initial hostility) but who also probably didn’t need its help that badly. And one who did need serious help, but instead got an opportuntity to screw her life up even more than it already was, and probably irrevocably. Not a great track record, in other words.

The second season mixes things up a bit by making its protagonist a train denizen, and giving us a behind the scenes look at the train’s community when the passengers aren’t there. MT (or: Mirror Tulip) is a character first encountered in the first season, whom Tulip helped to escape from the mirror world. She’s being pursued by mirror cops who want to destroy her, and in the process of evading them, she comes across a passenger, Jesse, and decides to help him get his number down so that she can piggyback on his exit and evade her pursuers. Jesse initially seems like he doesn’t belong on the train - he’s almost preternaturally friendly and happy-go-lucky. But it’s eventually revealed that his willingness to go along and get along is fairly indiscriminate, and leaves him prey to stronger personalities, as when he tolerates and even enables the violent bullying of his younger brother.

It’s a thornier problem than Tulip’s, not least for making it harder to sympathize with Jesse. But it’s also one that exposes the train system’s flaws, as Jesse is so passive that he doesn’t even try to move through cars and get his number down until MT lights a fire under him. And that, in turn, triggers MT’s own identity crisis, as she begins to wonder whether she has a right to exist as her own person, or whether her entire purpose is to reflect Tulip or help passengers.

That tension comes to a head when Jesse and MT encounter the Apex, a group of child passengers, led by teenagers Grace and Simon. The Apex have come up with a theory of the train’s nature that runs completely counter to its actual purpose - they believe the train is their reward, and that the system trying to bring their number down and send them back is cheating them. They strive to get their number as high as possible by committing acts of violence against the train’s denizens, whom they dub “nulls” - not real people, incapable of feeling pain.

Because S2 has been told from MT’s perspective, we know that the Apex are wrong about her and the other denizens (and in general, it’s not a good sign when someone says “this being, which exhibits all the signs of personhood and feeling, is actually not real, and is only shamming a form of suffering while feeling nothing”). But at the same time, it has to be acknowledged that this is an entirely plausible conclusion to draw from the evidence at hand. The train exists for the passeners. It has created environments and beings whose sole purpose is to interact with and affect the passengers. Why should those beings be real? Which is yet another failure point of the train’s system, because as both Tulip and Jesse’s stories show, developing connections with denizens is what spurs passengers to travel up the train and get better. The Apex have therefore interpreted the train’s system in a way that can only accomplish the exact opposite of what it was designed to do.

The show returns to Grace and Simon in its third season, in which we learn more about their history and their understanding of the train. We learn, for example, that Simon’s hostility towards denizens was sparked when the one who befriended him (The Cat, a character who appears in each of the show’s seasons) left him when they found themselves in a dangerous situation. And we learn that the Apex worship Amelia (whom they view as the train’s true conductor) and believe that the current system is a corruption of the one she intended, in which the passengers get to enjoy the train for as long as they like. In yet another demonstration of how open the train’s system is to misinterpretation, the Apex warn their new members that if they let their number get down to zero, they will “disappear”. Which is the same reaction Tulip had when she first witnessed another passenger departing, and, again, a thoroughly logical conclusion to reach given the evidence.

The season’s story involves Grace and Simon being separated from the rest of the Apex, and, in their attempts to get back to them, picking up a young passenger, Hazel, whom they try to initiate into their understanding of the train. The two teens’ interactions with Hazel shed light on the crucial difference between them. While Grace genuinely cares about the kids she’s gathered and sees herself as their protector, Simon only teaches Hazel about the train because he wants converts to his worldview, and validation for his anger at the Cat and other denizens. Once separated from the Apex and their regular schedule of destruction, Grace’s care for Hazel causes her number to go down, all the more so when she discovers that Hazel is really a denizen, and lies to Simon about it to protect her. Simon, meanwhile, only sinks further into his anger and resentment, and when he discovers Grace’s lie he sees it as a betrayal of everything they stand for. The conflict between them ultimately leads to a confrontation in which Simon is killed, while Grace reveals to the Apex that their conclusions about the train and its denizens were wrong, and that they need to come up with a new system.

So, to sum up, the Infinity Train:

Kidnaps people whom it perceives as being in need of help and holds them, sometimes for years or decades, until they achieve a predetermined threshold of wellness.

Advances this goal through a system of rewards and punishments that is so transparently manipulative, it alienates basically everyone who engages with it except the guy whose problem was being pathologically passive.

Relies for the success of this system on a community of denizens who haven’t signed on to it and who are often unsuited to the task of shepherding others towards growth.

Is so open to misinterpretation that a large chunk of the train’s passengers take the exact opposite message from it that they were meant to, which leads them to behavior that could put them permanently beyond being able to leave the train.

Sometimes kills people.

I’m pretty sure most of this is stuff I’m meant to be taking away from the show, but I also wonder how far Infinity Train is willing, or able, to take this idea. The open ending of S3, in which Grace, though headed in the right direction number-wise, is still nowhere near being able to leave the train, and also more focused on remaking the Apex into something more constructive, suggests that future seasons will get further into the question of whether the train can be reformed or made more productive. Or, conversely, the show could abandon its original premise and just become a story about the train, and the community of passengers and denizens that develops on it. I wonder, though, how much you can push against the inherent limitations of this premise - when you’ve got a story where getting better and more well-adjusted causes you to be forcibly ejected from the story, where does that leave you as far as plot progression and character development are concerned? There’s an inherent conflict to a world that is designed for a specific character (or group of characters). Infinity Train is fascinating for how it leans into that conflict, and I’m very curious to see how it handles its core contradiction going forward.

[callonpeevesie]

I had a talk with Ally earlier and it reminded me of some of my initial thoughts on Elena and the music ban so I figured I'd talk about that a little. I haven't read any of the Coco books, I'm just working with things I've learned from the fandom. So please let me know if I'm wrong with anything.

Elena's attitude to the music ban is a compelling topic mostly because it's so extreme. Was Imelda extreme? Yes. But taking her circumstances into account, her actions can very much be explained. Héctor leaving broke her. Considering she was headstrong and independent, which was unexpected of women of her time, she probably got a lot of "men don't like that". When Héctor left she probably started to believe that even he didn't like that. Enough to give you trust issues for the rest of eternity. So she turned her back on him by bottling up her feelings, and built her entire life and legacy on the assumption that Héctor had willingly left her, driven by anger. It was probably the only way she could have coped emotionally and financially on her own.

As for the music ban, she must have done it because music hurt her, since it was connected to Héctor's leaving. But it's also a popular-ish headcanon that she heard Ernesto's version of Héctor's songs sometime and thought Héctor had sold their songs to him. I find that plausible. It would explain her giving up all connections to music to avoid further pain like that, and also to protect Coco from that pain. And honestly, it would have been hard for her to not accidentally hear Ernesto's songs, what with Ernesto being so famous and Santa Cecilia presumably being so proud of him.

Coming to Coco, it has been talked about why she never put up Héctor's photo or why she never told anyone about him even though she loved him, or why she never defied the music ban. She was Elena's mother, after all, she must have had authority over her. The easiest explanation for why she never put up his photo is that she didn't know he was dead and she didn't want to think he was. He was only 18 years older than Coco, he could have been alive for all she knew. As to why she went along with the music ban (even though she didn't strictly follow it) and didn't talk about Héctor, it was likely because it hurt Imelda too much and possibly hurt Coco too.

Now, why was she so strict? I feel like it's like how religion gets distorted through ages, or how any rules are sometimes taken for word and not in spirit. Imelda banned music from her own trauma and to protect her family in her eyes. Her methods may have been wrong but it was understandable. Coco didn't really do anything for or against the ban. But Elena, who probably heard about the origin of the ban directly from Imelda, took her word for law and turned it into the extreme thing we see in the beginning of the movie.

I think it's interesting that Elena seemed to be even stricter than Imelda regarding the ban. I'm going to link a post about this in a reblog because apparently tumblr hates links, but Imelda didn't flip as badly as Elena would have done when she found out about Coco singing and dancing in secret. That is probably why Miguel actively rebelled against the ban and Coco never had to. They both loved music but it feels like Miguel had it so much worse than Coco when it came to hiding it, not just because Miguel was more into music than Coco, but also because Elena's regime was much stricter than Imelda's regarding music.

I don't know much about Mexican culture so please correct me if I'm wrong, but from what I've read, family and respecting your elders are very important. Elena likely grew up with Respect Your Elders™ which is common in so many POC cultures, including my own. Coco grew up with it. Elena's children grew up with it. It might possibly have played a part in how such a ridiculous ban stayed in place for so many generations. No one questioned their elders. But the emphasis on not questioning can sometimes be toxic for children by not giving them a voice and forcing them to go along with things they don't want to, as it was in Miguel's case.

It's also pretty obvious that Elena respected Imelda very much. Miguel says "Abuelita runs our house just like Mamá Imelda did." From how Elena looks at Imelda's photo and asks her what to do with Miguel, it's apparent that she looked up to Imelda for guidance. So of course she took her word for law. Then in the absence of Imelda, the music ban became even more extreme, the way it often happens with rules being misinterpreted and turned into dogma. Elena didn't dispute her grandmother and her children and grandchildren were expected to do the same. The matriarchs in Coco are inherently extreme, but other than that, Elena didn't do much with the ban herself. All she did was take Imelda's rules and enforce them with double viciousness.

Some of the things she did were not justified, especially breaking Miguel's guitar. It was especially messed up for the effect it had or could have had on Miguel. He was right to protest and he was definitely right regarding music. If the ban hadn't been lifted, he would have grown up to resent his family. But now that I've written this out, Elena's attitude to the music ban doesn't seem as extreme as it initially did, at least to me. Most of her attitude came from her culture's and the Riveras' emphasis on family. Though she did wrong things, she was doing what was expected of her first as a granddaughter and later as a matriarch.

[rafe-cameron]

THE ANALYSIS OF JOHN B ROUTLEDGE

In the fandom, what I've seen is a lot of what I feel is misinterpretation of John B's character, which is leading to a lot of unnecessary slander, and overall a negative vibe surrounding John B, and giving a negative wave of backlash to those who do like his character. I am all for positive emotions, and supporting and liking and disliking whatever characters you'd like! Though, I would like to put this out here just as a way of explaining what I've seen in his character. This is not a professional opinion by any means, but I do have a habit and (ringing my own bell) talent in analyzing different characters from an unbiased point of view.

DISCLAIMER: All of this is not fact, but a closely analyzed opinion. You are free to disagree and I genuinely do not care if you don't like John B! I wrote this because I wanted to and feel it could help. And this is written FOR JOHN B. Don't hit me with comments of “but JJ also” or “but Kie didn't MEAN to” or anything, because I am not writing about them. I’m writing this one for John B, about John B, and how someone would view life through his eyes and with everything that happened.

Now, onto the analysis.

Episode 1:

John B has a wave of issues being presented in not-so friendly forms. A 16 year old is living alone, considering his father has been missing for 9 months. Looking at it that way, he's had to finish his school year while juggling constant jobs to take care to himself, for food, gas, and paying bills, on top of school. Even if it's revealed he missed a lot of school that year, it's hard to blame him. His mom left him when he was still a baby, His uncle by definition also abandoned him, and his father is gone. He's threatened with foster care daily, which means he would lose everything that he has, his home, and his friends, which are the only thing keeping his head above water.

That alone is enough to give him intense abandonment issues. Both parental figures left, his guardian is as he described it “MIA”, so his ability to process how people see him and how he sees relationships is going to be, at best, rocky. He's going to have it in his head that everyone around him can leave at any time and he won't have any sort of say in it. Not to mention the depression and the anxiety that would bubble up from all of this. Depression makes you lash out, anxiety makes you pull away, two things he's shown to have trouble controlling.

He gets an idea for a way to try and make his life better, and get money to support himself, JJ being the one to hype that up despite Kie and Pope being against it.

Come the party later that night at the boneyard. A widespread party with lots of people there, lots of drinking, and comes the fight between Topper and JJ, which led to John B stepping in to protect JJ.

This is the first of many times where John B is almost murdered or killed. Hearing Topper yells “dont make me drown you like your old man”, then being drowned by him, while everyone stood and watched until JJ went off his shits and saved him.

This? Is all just the first episode. A peek into the curtain of how his family abandoned him, then he gets his shit beaten in, and he gets drowned by Topper. This would only worsen his already fragile mental state. At this point, he's ready to call it off, and leave it alone, but JJ gets desperate to help his friend and himself, and he goes along with it. This leads to, again, him getting shot at by the two guys hunting down the compass he stole off the boat. The second time John B is almost killed.

“With no parents, no money, and no one looking out for me, I've got no chance, unless I make it on my own.”

He sees no way out of the hole he's in anymore unless he fights tooth and nail to get out of it, no matter what it takes.

Episode 2:

In this episode, he's got it in his head now that since he found a compass on a wrecked boat, that his dad is trying to reach out to him. When you have abandonment issues as deep-running as John B, any possible chance that someone who left already is trying to come back? You run with it. You cling to it like it is all you have, and for him, it is. This compass is all that he has to go on, and he's desperate to try and figure it out because this is his fathers last way of communicating with him.

He goes to Ms. Lana's house, and has to both watch and listen to two men terrorize her, and he is told vaguely by Ms. Lana that it is horrible that he has the compass. He returns home to talk to his friends, and goes to his dads office for the first time in a long time, and has to relive the fact his fathers gone at that point.

Only for the two guys to come to John B's house. They break in and completely ransack the place, they steal a good chunk of John B's fathers stuff. They have to sneak out of the window and go to hide until the two men leave, but, he has to sit and watch these people break apart his home and steal from him.

After all of that, they go to the lighthouse, where he's thrown into another panic over this compass that no one is telling him about. He's frustrated, and he's scared. They leave the lighthouse and in a complete blind instinct of adrenaline, he kisses Kie, and gets rejected by her. Then, he gets arrested, questioned, and has to get bailed out by Kie's dad, who insults him. Now Kie won't talk to him, and he has to go home to his damaged house.

He also has to get fired from hi only stable job, so now he has no money and no job, a damaged home, and lost a friend for now.

Not only that, but he does get hunted down by those two men again, and is almost killed for thr 3rd time, and runs through an electric fence, where he's almost killed the 4th time. He gives up his fathers compass, and while ull of hurt and despair for everything, returns home to try and move past everything, but he catches another glimpse of possibility, and he clings to it all over again.

And, his urge and crave to hunt down his dad only grows as they find the Redfield tomb thingy and find the package left behind by Big John.

Episode 3:

It starts off with John B having to sit through the emotion that comes with hearing his fathers voice for the first time in 9 months. The pain and the confusion and how much he missed him rushing back, it's a feeling that is hard to describe, but it is draining, and it doesn't feel good.

He talks to everyone about how he just wants to have a normal life, and stop stressing so much about damn near everything.

He's decently up in this episode, but his actions only worsen. He encourages stealing, and puts himself into risky situations. This is the bud of the suicidal/reckless tendencies he starts to develop as he starts to lose regard for his own safety, because subconsciously, he sees no point in caring about what happens to himself and those around him. This is where he gets desperate for a reason to keep existing, because he lost every other one that he had.

Episode 4:

In this episode, they find the merchant. They track it down and find it's empty, but John B isn't ready to give up.

He gets met, unfortunately, with DCS, who force him to pack, and start to take him away. In an attempt to not leave behind anything? He jumps from a moving vehicle, and is now being hunted down for the first time.

He's taken in by Sarah.

DISCLAIMER: OPINION.

This is where we see Sarah see that things with John B aren't cookie cutter. She knows hes plotting something, and she wants to get away from her Kook life and do something different and exciting. So, she tags along for the ride. Her and John B go out and Sarah puts John B into a situation where he is being led on by her, despite her being in a relationship. But, her desperation to break from her box gets the best of her, and John B clings to that romance, because a romantic relationship has a more solid foundation than a friendship to him. They're less likely to leave him. So, he wants to run with it.

This is a huge part of why he kissed Kie. In his eyes, if he's dating them, maybe they wont leave, but he can't have that same situation with just a friend. He knows that, and this is where he starts to push away his friends. Bite before you can get bitten, it's depression + abandonment issues 101.

Episode 5:

This one is.. a mess. Its a mess.

We start right off the bat with John B realizing that he can't go home anymore. JJ and John B get into a pretty nasty argument. JJ is concerned for his friend, and he wants him to be safe and stop all of this, naturally, but to John B? He hears JJ trying to give him on him, to abandon him, and to leave all of this. He reacts to this by lashing out at him, yelling at him, and talking about how he just wants to stop because he got beat up. Which, John B is still under the assumption it was just the Kooks, when it was both the Kooks and his father – something John B didn't catch onto. After they yell at eachother, John B has JJ following him again. It's a safe zone once more in John B's mind.

Then, after the party is crashed and they all meet up, John B tries to explain that Sarah got wrapped up into all of this. He has Kie, Pope, and even if JJ knew already, he's not too happy about it either. So he's got everyone mad at him for this, and even if spirits are high in terms of his recklessly driven hunt, he sees everyone around him getting angrier, and angrier. And that? Is making him angry too.

He goes to meet Sarah at the hawks nest. And once again, he is almost killed. He's shoved off of it by none other than Topper (who has tried to murder him twice now), and plummets, and ends up in the hospital.

But things can start to turn around, because Ward took him in and he has a legal guardian now, right?

No.

Ward is plotting to keep John B under his nose to make sure he doesn't find anything else out.

Episode 6:

Again, not much happens here. Things seem to be going good and despite Wards want for John B laying low, he doesn't. He finds the gold.

Episode 7:

Here, we  have another instance in which JJ's bad ideas get John B (and everyone) put into danger. After trying to pawn off the gold, they get stopped by Barry, who threatens to kill him and robs them. John B is quick to jump into the line of fire and get the gold back, desperate to keep it. He succeeds, but JJ barrels into Barrys house and robs him. JJ manhandles John B a good few times for trying to stop him.

And nearing the end of this, he's told by Ward that Ward knows about the gold, and wants John B to give it all up.

John B says no. He's gotten this far and can't lose it all to Ward. Not only that? But he finds out Ward had something to do with his father disappearing. That sort of news is heartbreaking. John B snaps just a little more, but so does Ward.

Episode 8:

John B and ward get into it. Ward is messy and doesn't hesitate to try and kill John B while they're on the boat. Again, for the 7th time, John B is almost killed, but escapes it just in time to keep going.

He goes to Lana, who explains that Ward was the one who killed his father. He finds out now that the man he trusted and the man that took him in both wanted to steal from him, and murdered his only parent? That's too much to carry for any one person.

Ward tells authorities John B tried to kill him, and he's being hunted down even more than he was before.

He sees now that again, all of his friends are both worried and angry with him. He's panicking at this point. He's stuck on the run and can't seem to catch a break, more so now that Ward figured out where the gold is, and sees him trying to leave with it.

Episode 9:

John B now is framed for the murder of Peterkin. He's almost killed by Rafe at the runway, and is now on the run again. He's facing major charges and none of them are of things he actually ever did.

John B has no choice but to run away from the OBX, from the US< and try and figure out what to do with himself from there.

He's almost killed by Rafe, again, because he set the bell tower ablaze.

But he manages to escape long enough so everyone can put together the pieces of his escape plan.

Episode 10:

He leaves. He leaves with Sarah on the boat, but of course, power has to go back on, and they lose their cover. They're both hunted down, chased out to sea, and is considered dead because of the storm. He survives again, but just by the skin of his teeth.

Looking back on everything that happened to  him just in these episodes, on top of knowing he had to deal with his father being gone for months without a clue of how to take care of himself, plus the fact he's now headed for his gold without anything but one bar and the clothes on his back?

John B quite literally lost everything. He lost his family, his home, his friends, his job, everything that kept his head above water, yet, he's expected to be the strong one, and the leader of the group.

He has expectations that he cant meet, and he's getting the wrong kind of help for his issues. Depression, anxiety, trust issues, abandonment issues, and I wouldn't be surprised if various forms of PTSD stemmed from everything that's happened to him. In no way is John B a perfect person. He is a flawed and complex character, who made poor choices, and acted out in bad ways, but, the entire gang is guilty of doing some bad things too.

JJ's aggression and lack of impulse control.

Pope's passive aggression and constant cold shoulder to not getting what he wants.

Kie's hostility and lack of self restraint.

Topper's sexism and abusiveness.

Rafe's drug abuse and abusiveness.

Again, you are so more than welcome to dislike and like whatever characters you want! Though, I hope this point of view can help clear up some of the thing's ive seen on John B being irredeemable and a bad friend to everyone.

John B is a wonderfully written, intense, lovable character, and I wanted to share my thoughts on him, his trauma, and his life! If anyone wants to see more deep character analysis', don't be afraid to request them! I enjoy doing them!

- jv