#but the common thing they have is that neither of them comments on a baby as anything else than an actual baby

[misskamelie]

Having a cousin with a newborn child really makes you realize how out of touch you are with societal expectations

[creedslove]

JOEL'S EX WIFE WANTING HIM BACK - HEADCANONS ✨

No outbreak!Joel Miller x f!reader

A/N: hi besties!!! Just a small little idea I got while I was watching some good old female rivalry soap opera drama over breakfast ❤️

Warnings: Sarah is a teen here ❤️

• when you got together with Joel, Sarah was already 12, her mom had been gone since she was a baby and though neither of them had any problems about talking about what happened, it wasn't a frequent subject, even if they treated it with naturally, they didn't like talking about it and it was completely understandable, after all, Joel had been abandoned with a weeks old baby and that baby had to grow up without her mother around

• so you always simply decided to pretend she never really existed in the first place, and technically, in your life, she never really did it, because from the moment you began dating Joel, he wasn't her ex-husband anymore, but instead, he was your boyfriend, and Sarah wasn't really her daughter, but your stepdaughter and you both had learned how to love and enjoy each other's company

• you were leading a happy life with the Millers, being part of their household and falling into the same routine as they did, as you spent longer at their place than at your own, until it didn't make any sense for you to keep paying rent, after all, you and Joel were very much together and in love and the natural course of your relationship would be of course, getting married or something like that

• you were happy with your little family, Sarah's issues regarding her mom seemed to be filled up pretty good by you once you joined the family, as she finally had someone she could talk to about boys and other girl stuff. She also really approved yours and Joel's relationship, always commenting on how happy you made her dad and how nice it was to have a more family like routine

• things were good and happy and you couldn't wish for anything more than that, you were as pleased as you could be, and you were pretty sure Joel was the man of your dreams, there was no way you could love someone as much as you loved him and so was the story of how the Millers became a very happy family

• and that was why it shocked the fourth of you - because Tommy was hella shocked as well - when Sarah's mom, Angela, decided to get in touch with Joel; she had found him on Facebook and messaged him, much to his shock, he'd done the same with Sarah, just like that, texting the daughter she'd abandoned as if she was just an old pal saying hello after losing touch for years

• at first, the two of them decided to ignore it, not sure how to act or how to even respond to it, but after a couple of days more in which Angela kept insisting on texting, more like begging Joel for a chance to talk, he decided to talk to his daughter and get to a conclusion together and after considering a lot together, they decided they would answer to her and see what she wanted

• and of course Angela sent quite a few sob sad texts saying how hard things were for her, how much she'd missed her family and mostly her daughter and how she regretted leaving. Joel wasn't quite convinced with that, quite the opposite, he was still bitter and angry at everything that went on, but he could tell Angela's words somehow messed up with Sarah's feelings, after all, she was a reject baby by her mom and at some level, she needed her approval in any way

• so Joel and Sarah agreed to meet up with Angela again, something small, at a coffee shop where they could all sit down and talk things through so they could see how things went between them, you'd also decided not to show up, it was such an intimate moment, you didn't belong in that scenario and you also had no reasons to be suspicious of Joel, you loved and trusted him and he trusted and loved you back, there was no reason to worry about anything at all

• you were genuinely happy to know Sarah had warmed up for her mom and the two of them hit off, having a lot in common and deciding to spend more time together, going on dinners, lunches and movie sessions together; it seemed Angela's presence was a benefit for them, and it was, you liked to see Sarah so happy about her return, it only became a problem when Angela started to show up more and more often at Joel's home

• it was your home too, and as much as you didn't want to be selfish or annoying, you had to admit it bothered you A LOT she was all the time around, at first she started with smaller things, such as visiting you all on Sunday afternoon, or bringing up a dessert, which of course, had to be Joel's favorite and kept gushing about the times they were still married; Angela was a pretty woman, you couldn't deny that, and the fact she seemed so willing to be nice and pleasant around her ex-husband

• and that imposition of her presence into your house and your family was beginning to bother you even more; suddenly, Sarah didn't want to go to the mall with you anymore, instead, she wanted to go with her mom. She didn't want to bake cookies with you anymore because your cookies had that sugar thing in the bottom so she liked her mom's better and as much as you tried understanding Sarah needed and had all the right to enjoy her mom's company and presence, it still hurt you, because you missed Sarah, and yet, it felt as if you weren't important to her anymore

• Seeing the shifts in your dynamics with Sarah, Joel tried to be understanding and even offered himself to talk to her, but you dismissed the idea, it was embarrassing enough you were feeling jealous, you didn't need Joel to get into the middle of that, but it still made you upset when Sarah decided to go to the movies with her mom to watch the newest Ghostbusters movie you two had agreed on going together

• and just as Angela stole Sarah from you, she was more than willing to steal Joel as well: she wanted him, he was even more handsome, his business became successful and he lived comfortably and now Sarah wasn't an annoying baby anymore, it was fun to be around her and she wanted her family back

• so to you, things started going sour when you decided to stop by Joel's business to bring him lunch; you'd prepared him a pretty good lunchbox and you were very excited to see his reaction, however, when you got to his small office, you found him and Angela eating a foot long sub, as it was kind of an inside joke between them from when they were young

"oh shit baby, I had no idea you'd bring me lunch, if I knew it..."

• Joel said wiping his mouth with a napkin as he had sauce on his beard like an idiotic child would and it made your blood boil, Angela simply smirked at you and you knew exactly what she was doing, your gut feeling was right all along, she was a filthy bitch

"it's fine Joel, it's just a sandwich, it's not like you're cheating"

• you didn't know exactly why you said that, it was the first time in your life you had ever said that towards Joel because it had never even crossed your mind there might be a possibility of it happening, but once you said those sour words, an awkward silence, a think tension in the room spread and you felt extremely uncomfortable to be there

"I'm sorry, you can give the lunchbox to Tommy in case he hasn't had lunch if you want, that way the food won't go to waste"

• you told Joel and turned to Angela, you didn't want to hide how much you didn't like the fact she snuck into his office to bring him lunch like a devoted wife

"you know, it's an odd choice to bring your ex-husband lunch instead of your daughter, I'm sure Sarah is starving right now..."

• in the evening, Joel felt very bad about what had happened, he hadn't done anything wrong, but at the same time it was wrong because even if it was just a sandwich, it wasn't about the sandwich but rather who had brought it to him, he knew it had hurt your feelings and he wanted to make it up to you, so he arrived home, using all his charms, his puppy eyes, his sweet talking and his soft neck kisses to convince you to go out with him; he was going to take you out for dinner: at a restaurant, not a bar for beer and burgers, but an actual meal

• you enjoyed your time with him, appreciating his effort to make something nice for you, so you grabbed a table, ordered meals and enjoyed each other's companies, as Joel held your hand and talked about his day, telling you how much he'd missed you and how gorgeous you were, dinner was going smoothly and what happened during lunch time had almost faded from your mind, when you heard someone clearing their throat

"oh hey... Enjoying some romantic dinner? That's a good place, right? Joel used to bring me here every so often, money was very short back then, but he always made an effort"

• Angela gave the two of you a bright smile, loving every single ounce of anger that clearly went through your face, what the fuck was that disgusting woman doing there? Why did she have to ruin your date night like that? It made your blood boiling, Joel immediately sensed the tension and tried coming up with something to say, but Angela just shrugged

"I came over just to grab myself some dinner, excuse me and enjoy your evening"

• she faked sympathy and blew Joel a kiss, knowing damn well the whole evening was already ruined for you, which made her pretty good about herself

• once you got home, you decided to have a heartfelt conversation with Joel, tell him every single thing that was bothering you, after all, communication had always been a big deal for you and it was important for you to open up and be straightforward about the matter, and he agreed with you, he said Angela was crossing the boundary and he assured you he was gonna talk to her

• so during the next few days, things were alright again between you and your sweet Joel; you were still very much in love and Sarah had been so busy with her tests at school, you didn't even hear of Angela's name and you'd be lying if you said you weren't happy about it, it was a relief she wasn't around and you even suggested Joel to make barbecue on Saturday, you'd have an extra shift but then you could enjoy the weekend with your family

• he gladly accepted it and you spent the rest of your week quite excited for it, you liked his barbecue, it was such a dad trait he had and you wanted to spend some time in bed with him too, once you arrived from work, you smiled as you saw Tommy's truck and you could smell the delicious scent of food, as you got off your own car, you went straight to the backyard, smiling from ear to ear

• but it didn't last long, your smile died when you spotted Angela; she was wearing a short summer dress and laughed happily at something Joel said, it must've been so funny because Sarah was laughing too. Angela was holding a bowl of egg salad and the moment she saw you, her own smile died, as if she was the one who had her day ruined by an intruder in her family, and not the other way around

• you frowned as Sarah sighed at seeing you, it didn't take a rocket science genius to see she was disappointed in seeing you there, as if you had got in the way between her mom and dad, you stared at Joel, your eyes filling up with angry tears as he immediately walked to you, holding you by the waist

"baby..."

"I'm going to the bathroom to wash my face and when I come back I don't wanna see this woman here, I've had enough, I don't care if she's your ex or Sarah's mom, she clearly wants to take my place and sometimes I feel like she has already..."

"don't say that, baby girl, that's not true"

"so get rid of her Joel"

• you left to the bathroom so you could freshen up and clear up your mind; hoping she would be gone by then, you didn't want to see her at all, so once you stepped into the kitchen, you were ready to start your weekend, with the exception of the scene before your eyes: Angela's lips on Joel's

• you felt as if you lost the ground from under your feet, and even if Joel shoved her away from him and began apologizing one hundred times, you'd had enough; Angela got what she wanted: you out of the way

• you ignored everything Joel said, as you blinked your tears and shook your head, leaving the house, the house that used to be your home, but now you weren't so sure; maybe all you did all that time was fill up the absence of Angela, and now, that Joel and Sarah had the original one, they didn't need you anymore

• that was only one out of many thoughts that crossed your mind, you didn't want to believe that, you loved Joel and Sarah and you wanted to continue thinking they also love you, but your heart was broken and Joel Miller was to blame 💔

____

[munsonsprincess11111]

My girls perfect

Eddie munson x reader

Summary: you and Eddie are dating have been for a while. Your a cheerleader he's well... Eddie. So when thr jocks make a comment to try make you feel insecure to piss eddie off, Eddie doesn't let it slide easy.

During the school week you and Eddie sit together ever day but Friday. Whether it's just you two or with hellfire. However Friday was normally basketball day so you was needed being a cheerleader. Friday was also hellfire day which meant Eddie was obviously needed.

He would sit with hellfire. You'd sit with the jocks. It was like you didn't exist to eachother on Friday between 11 am to 8 pm. Neither of you minded ofcourse. You had your own things and lucky they fell on the same day. It had been that way for 2 years.

However something was different about this Friday. Eddie was sat at the hellfire table laughing and messing around. Well and annoying the jocks. But after his usual stand on thr table thing on Friday he always looms to you to se you smirk and give him a sarcastic eye roll. But you looked out of it. Like you didn't want to be there.

You starred at your tray didn't turn to look at Eddie. It's like you wasn't there. Eddie sat back down in his chair frowning and kept glancing over at you. Until you pushed your tray away from you got your bag and walked out of the cafeteria some of the boys saying "oh y/n Common."

Eddie glanced at his friend's who was also starring at the table you was once sat at as was other people in the canteen shocked by you leaving. "Be back." Eddie said standing up walking off. He walked to the table you was sat at and stood at the end of it.

"What do you want freak?" Andy said. Eddie rolled his eyes looking at Andy and Tommy sat next to Jason then to Jason.

"What the fuck did you say to her." Eddie said bluntly starring at the three boys blankly.

"Just said she should be more like Chrissy and carol and focus in her appearance more." Tommy said smirking leaning back in his chair folding his arms over his chest. Eddie nodded and walked back over to hellfire.

"Dude tour just gonna let him say that your way to calm." Gareth said looming at Eddie in disbelief.

"Doug can I borrow your milkshake ill buy you another on Monday or before hellfire." He ignored Gareth asking doug. He nodded and handed it to Eddie who bit thr inside of his mouth thanking him before walking off. He walked around thr table of jocks and cheerleaders as if he was going to walk out of the door.

As Eddie got to the head of the table he threw the milkshake so it went over the three boys not stopping walking. "Maybe you should worry about yours I suppose you've gotta have a big ego to make up for thr rumours about your small cock." Eddie said ruffling Tommy's hair as he walked past him wiping his milkshake covered hand on Jason's back.

"Fucking freak." Tommy said standing up. Eddie took that as he had to run. So he did. He ran down the halls with the three boys following him. He went left and as he went down the hall he saw you walking. He slowed down as he approached you.

"Hey baby." Eddie said as he stopped next to you. You smiled up at him. "Here lemme take those." HE said taking the two books you was holding and your bag. He put thr books inside and slung it over his shoulder holding you into his side. "Don't listen to em ok? There is nothing and I mean nothing wrong with you. Babe some of them girls look like they haven't eaten for days cause they listen to them dicks. Your healthy. You got a beautiful face, amazing personality and a banging body." Eddie said holding you closer.

"Banging... Jesus Eddie." You laugh slightly.

"I'm serious want me to prove your perfect the way you are and there's nothing wrong with your weight or body?" Eddie askes stopping you both. You nod skeptically. Eddie wraps his arms around your waist picks you up and spins with you.

He puts you down after a moment and your both laughing. That's what he wanted to see. He wrapped his arms around you hugging you and you did the same. "See I can even touch my other arm don't listen to em." Eddie smirking kissing your cheek.

"I love you so much you fucking weirdo." You giggled kissing Eddie.

"I love you so much to you fucking freak." Eddie smirked back.

"Love how you went from saying how perfect I am to calling me a freak babe." You laughed pushing Eddie shoulder.

"Please we've been over this there is nothing wrong with being a lil freaky sweets." HE sid pulling you back into him.

Before you could answer you heard Tommy, and and jason at the end of the hall shouting Eddie name.

"What are they covered in?" You ask.

"Milkshake." Eddie smirks.

"What why?"

"CAUSE no one fucks with my girl and gets away with it... yeah we may need to run." Eddie says grabbing your hand and running down the hall with you.

Moments later you reach the van which luckily Eddie never locks he swings the passenger door open for you then runs around to the drivers side getting. You get in yourself and slam the door pushing the lock down Eddie doing the same the starting the van up and driving out of thr school faster then anyone should.

You look in thr mirror to see the three boys stood looking pissed. Then over to Eddie who's lighting a cigarette. "I'm not going to cheer tonight they'll be fine without me." You say leaning back in the chair.

"Yeah? Come watch hellfire could be fun babe." Eddie says exhaling the smoke. You nod smiling at him.

"Besides the boys think it's funny when your there cause apparently you make me go all stupid n they think it's funny when you tell me to stop being mean to them." Eddie smirks. You laugh and kiss his neck.

"I love you so much." You say kissing the spot again.

"I love you so much too... you know you could always leave a little mark there I mean I for sure wouldn't mind it. Just saying." Eddie said pretending to be serious. As he drives you leave him two hickeys inna heart shape and he smiles.

-

At hellfire that evening the boys notice it and every time Eddie runs a hand over his neck or through his hair the boys have plenty of comments.

"Woah who's the real master ed?"

"Maybe Eddie's curls arent real after all."

Then they notice you have one to you didn't know about.

"I do not have one!" You protest to the boys at the table.

"Yes you do I fucking put it there." Eddie chims in. You shake your head and Eddie kisses under your ear. "Relax there just jealous cause your more perfect then them so you get one." Eddie says kissing you sweetly. You smile and Eddie turns to go back to his campaign but doug then has a memory.

"You still owe me a milkshake!" HE points at Eddie and you laugh taking Eddie's hand in yours.

"What seeing Jason, Andy and Tommy look like they were covered in shit wasn't good enough for you?" Eddie says leaning back in his chair.

"Was for me made me feel better." You laugh

"Look Eddie you may have been getting your revenge for your fantastic girlfriend-"

"Which was totally a lie what they said by the way babe they inly said it cause you date the person they hate most and are hottest on the team." Eddie cuts off doug looking at you earning a smile a squeeze of Eddie's hand.

"Yeah big lie. But. I TAKE MY LUNCH VERH SERIOUSLY!" Doug shouts pointing at Eddie making the others laugh.

"Fuck off doug ill get it to ya Monday." Eddie says kissing you.

-

After the campaign your helping Eddie tidy up when he speaks. "If he ever makes you feel like shit again tell me. Either me or one of thr others will tone em down. N it would only be the others cause I'm running to your rescue." HE says stretching.

"Really bothered you huh babe?" You say walking over to him.

"Well yeah, I get them being mean to me bit they don't need to drag you into it nd try make you feel insecure. Your gorgeous and they just jealous." Eddie says putting his arms around you.

"Thank you." You says nuzzling into his neck.

"Don't thank me for looking after you against them dicks I'll do it everyday I love you."

"Mm yeh. I also meant for letting me wear your hellfire top when I got cold in the campaign n you sitting there with no top on under your jackets but ok." You giggle kissing him.

"Did I look hot." HE laughs.

"SO hot honestly babe would've jumped your bones right then if you wasn't in the middle of a campaign." You say kissing him.

"Guess I'll have to keep thr jackets on when we get back to the trailer." HE wiggles his eyebrows.

"Your so weird."

"You love me."

"Mmm I do.... let go of my ass."

"Never." HE laughs squeezing it before letting go.

"I knew that conversation was a bit to serious." You say picking up his notebook.

He nods kissing you sweetly.

No matter what anyone said you knew deep down there was nothing wrong with you and of it took you a moment to remember you'd always have Eddie to remind you. As he held you and kissed you you both pulled away resting your foreheads together.

"You still owe doug his milkshake."

"OH fuck off." Eddie laughs kissing you again.

[ultrapoppet]

About the whole who's the mother in the unholy family topic, actually neither. But who you assign it to depends of your relationship with your mom figure or depiction of moms you're used to seeing in media. I'm leaning towards Lestat as a classic evil stepmom who forces Cluadia to becomes his dad's caretaker. But they both have mom moments at different times.

About the whole feminization of Louis which some fans take way too seriously, again they're both men. But as Florence aptly put it, their nails are manicured. And honestly looking for the woman in the relationship is kind of a Florence take (rip you'd loved fauxmoi).

Regarding the housewife comment which is something Claudia says to Louis to rile him up against Lestat and people take way too literally, show me when this man washed a single dish? He was a hoarder and mostly just ignored his husband that's literally the opposite of a dotting housewife.

But more seriously, even though Lestat is the more powerful person in the relationship, the abused housewife dynamic hinges on sexism and socialization of women that Louis just doesn't exprience. Mainly:

Women are socialized to associate their value with being wives and mothers. They are judged more harshly for divorce and are expected to put up with a lot more to save the marriage. It was legal and common for men to beat their wives and women were expected to put up with it. Louis was socialized to be the patriarchal husband and the provider. And society was not encouraging Louis to keep sodomizing with a white man. Society very much wanted him to not be in a biracial gay relationship and go settle with Hazel instead. On both sides.

There are a system of laws and social roles put into place to keep women dependant on men. Both in terms of financial dependence and the spaces single women are allowed to coccupy. Louis didn't have Lestat's fuck you money then but he was born rich and as a man he was allowed to own and invest that money. We never see him not be well off. He could comfortably live as a single man and face way less judgment than he did with Lestat.

I hate it but Claudia venturing out on her own as a young looking woman and a less physically powerful vampire and having to deal with bruce vs Louis hunting the gay population by cruising shows the contrast well between what men and women usually face in society.

This whole thing feels like another way for Louis fans who are super attached to the idea of him as a helpless victim to give Louis even more disadvantages than he actually had. He is a man. He is rich. He was a pimp. Instead of dragging sexism into this, stick to Louis sacrificed himself by *insert event* posts idk.

About the whole baby trapping argument, Louis is the one who wants Cluadia. He's the one who makes promises Lestat wants to hear to coax and convince him and Lestat gives in and does it for Louis. If anyone baby trapped anyone it was Louis baby trapping himself. Except the baby convinced Louis to finally leave and Lestat was ready to abort it a few decades in.

Also I'd argue that since they mostly live outside of human society, Lestat's main power over them is being an older, more powerful vampire which is a role that can be occupied by a woman. Although vampires still follow human patriarchal norms so probably not many women became coven leaders and it's also unlikely a woman would've acted the way Lestat did.

Also interesting that the qualities Louis displays that get called feminine by fans, mainly being passive which yikes, are actually not a main trait in the one female charachter in the show or the women of vc. But more female fans seem to identify with Louis than they do with Claudia because there are more depressed girls on this website (who low key want to fuck Lestat) than plot murder girls.

[skkfujoshi]

Coping with the Jamikali collapse by making up headcannons bout their new dynamic

When you think your ship is healing,but then they start fighting and hitting one another

Anyway onto the hc’s cause past all the depression it’s causing me I actually kinda dig it.

-Jamil and Kalim coming back to Scarabia once they deal with Malleus and being unable to sleep.Them both going to the common room and seeing the other.For a bit them both trying to do their own things,but it not really stopping the dread that’s creeping up on them.

-Them both going to the treasure room,without prompting,digging out the mancala board and starting to play.Neither of them speaking during the game.Them continuing to play till the sun rises and not talking about it the next day.

-Neither of them covering up the bruises they got from the fight.Neither of them speaking to one another either.

-Jamil asking Kalim while he’s cooking whether he hates him and Kalim saying no without even having to think about it in a cold tone.

-Kalim asking him the same and Jamil saying “Not as much as I use to.”

-Kalim saying “You punch like a baby,by the way.” “This baby knocked you to the ground,Asim.Watch it.”

-Jamil and Kalim starting to walk closer in the hallways.

-Kalim taking all his frustration out on his drums and Jamil overhearing but pretending not to.

-Loitering in front of the other’s bedroom when they can’t sleep and being let in cause “You’re blocking the light under the door Jamil/Kalim,just get in here already,it’s embarrassing.”

-Sleeping on opposite sides of the bed,hands just barely brushing.

-Unconsciously starting to invade one another’s space.

-Surprised that they agree with one another during dorm meetings.

-Jamil having basketball practice and being surprised that Kalim still shows up to those.

This might be simultaneously the best and worst to thing to have ever happened to them…

Put your own hc’s in the comments so I feel less alone pls

[liveforjeongin]

How To Cheer Your Jeongin Up (2/7)

-tickle fic, if you don't like that you can keep scrolling

requested by: no one

warnings: a bit of angst (? at the beginning, soft tickling, raspberries

Read 'How To Cheer Your Chan Up (1/7)' (the previous part) here in case you haven't yet!

taglist: @itzsana-kiddingmenow @channieissocute125

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It was late night, past midnight, everyone was already sleeping in maknaes+Lino dorm, except Felix, who hadn't been able to fall asleep.

He woke up to drink some water, thinking that might help him a bit. On his way back to his room, he heard some noises, as if someone was... Sobbing?

Turned out the noises came from Jeongin's room, something that concerned the sunshine boy, since it wasn't much common to see their maknae crying. Forgetting completely about sleeping, he entered the youngest's room in silence, not wanting to scare him.

"Innie... Are you alright?" asked once he approached enough for the younger to listen to his whispers, since he didn't want to wake up Seungmin and Minho too.

Jeongin quickly whiped his tears away, doing his best to pretend he wasn't crying "Oh, hi, hyung. What are you doing here so late?" tried to avoid the situation, even though he knew Lix already saw everything, which made the older's heart break.

"Innie... Come on now. It's me, you know you can trust me, don't you? I won't judge you for anything, I promise you" Lix sat on Innie's bed, next to him.

Jeongin knew that, that's why he let himself cry on his hyung's lap.

"Hey, hey, it's okay... What happened to our baby bread that has you like this?" Felix started to stroke his dongsaeng's hair, knowing he'd probably move away and complain he doesn't like skinship.

But instead, Innie just leaned into the touch, he felt so vulnerable already that he didn't even care, it felt really nice... How come he kept rejecting it?

"I'm sorry, hyung..." the maknae got to say through all his crying.

No need to say, Felix got heartbroken at the youngest's words "What do you mean, Innie? You're sorry for what?" asked, worrying even more.

"I... Know Channie hyung always tells us to... Not read those hate comments people do... Cuz he doesn't want us to get affected, cuz he says nothing of that is true... But I couldn't stop myself, hyung... I read them. I read a lot of them..." in that moment, Jeongin was feeling overwhelmed at his own mind reminding him of all those comments... All the horrible things netizens said about him...

Felix froze.

He knows how it is to read that stuff, cuz even when they all promised Chan not to, Felix keeps reading them almost every night. So he just hugged Jeongin, he hugged him and he told him things he would've like to hear every single night while reading those comments.

"What they say it's not true"

"They don't know you, they have no right to judge you"

"You're very talented, why do you doubt about that?"

"They're jealous of you, that's it"

"I'm here for you, I'll always be"

They continued hugging for what felt like eternity. Neither of them wanted to pull away. Until an idea came to Lix's mind.

"Innie, could I do something to make you feel better?"

The maknae, who had already stopped crying some minutes ago, tilted his head a little "What's that?"

Yongbok went back to stroke baby bread's hair "I know you hate being tickled... But I really think that'll cheer you up... Could I tickle you? I promise I'll be gentle, I'll be the gentlest in the whole world, I promise"

Jeongin was ready to say "no" since the first sentence, but thinking about it... That could actually help "Okay... Fine. I'll let you tickle me, BUT you have to promise 3 things before"

The freckled boy was visibly excited, so he just nodded with his head and waited for the youngest to give him the conditions.

"Number one, you have to promise you'll be EXTREMELY gentle. Number two, you'll stop immediately after I say so. And number three, you can't tell anyone I agreeded to this... And I'm serious with this one, hyung" Jeongin looked really serious as he gave the conditions. Felix knew he wasn't joking with them.

After agreeding to the conditions, Lix got ready to tickle his youngest.

He decided to start off a bad spot, the younger's belly. He gently caressed him there, provoking the cutest soft giggles he'd ever heard from Jeongin.

Soon enough, decided to start for real, scribbling all over Innie's belly and sides, now with both hands.

Jeongin's giggling grew louder, but hopefully, not enough to wake 2min up "Hyuhuhuhuhung, that's bahahad!"

Lix smirked "Oh, I know it is, but I bet is helping, isn't it?" teased, now placing one of his hands on one side of Jeongin's neck, not doing anything yet.

The simple fact of having his hyung's hand placed on his weakest spot was enough to make Jeongin beg "No! No no nohohoho, hyung! Please, plehehehehease! Not there, don't do anyhyhyhything on there!"

Lix felt like listening to the maknae this time, so instead, he went to caress his ears, not surprisingly making him ticklish.

At this point, the baby of the group was a blushy, giggly, squirmy mess on his sunshine hyung's arms. All the bad comments simply disappeared from his mind, he felt... Happy. That's why he didn't stop his hyung when, once again, placed his hand on his neck, just accepting his fate.

Seeing the youngest was kind of agreeing with the idea of having his neck tickled, Felix went on.

Jeongin was getting gentle tickles on his ribs and neck now, normally, he'd be giggling pretty loud, but this time, he couldn't allow himself to do that, so his best solution was covering his face with a pillow, that, surprisingly, did cushion the loud giggles from him.

They stayed like this for some minutes more, they were both enjoying it, even though Jeongin will never accept that.

Lix knew the youngest would say "stop" at any moment now, so he decided to do one more thing now that he had the opportunity, and blew a raspberry on the youngest's sensitive neck, causing Innie to let out a scream, since he didn't expect that and it tickled a lot, being honest.

He moved away as fast as he could, getting to scape Lix's raspberry. Hopefully, the pillow cushioned the scream really well, so it was safe to say neither Seungmin nor Minho heard it.

"Okahahahay, hyung, that's enough! Stohohohohop now!" the maknae said. He did scape the raspberries, but Felix kept on gently tickling his ribs and sides.

Just like he promised, Lix stopped as soon as Innie said so, and gave him some rubs to ease the ghost tickles "How you feeling now? Better?" the sunshine boy asked, actually worried his plan might've failed.

But instead, he received an unexpected hug from the maknae "Thank you, hyung..." Innie whispered.

Bokkie's heart melted, automatically hugging him back "I'm happy I got to help you"

After some seconds hugging, they both pulled away, Felix was ready to go back to his room, but his arm got suddenly grabbed by the youngest.

"Hyung... Could you... Sleep with me tonight?" the maknae asked shyly, and Felix obviously couldn't resist so much cuteness.

They ended up cuddled in bed. Jeongin's head resting on his hyung's chest, they both felt so comfortable and happy, knowing they could always trust each other.

And with that warm thought in mind, and cuddled with his hyung in bed, Innie fell asleep, forgetting completely about those comments.

➷➷➷➷➷➷➷➷➷➷➷➷➷➷➷➷➷➷➷➷➷➷➷

I think I'm not so good writing soft tickling😭

Which is pretty sad cuz that's actually like My favorite type of tickling💔

But I'll get better at it, I promise

I hope you guys liked this, soon I'll be back with requested fics, I promise

[so-long-soldier-writes]

drabble #2 - the bots

kol mikaelson x reader

summary: thousand year old vampires vs the bots messaging you on your phone… who will win?

tags: tumblr, very confused vampires, up-to-date on modern life klaus but severely lacking kol, protective!kol

word count: 553

a/n: i wrote this soooo long ago, then forgot about it! like, wrote it when all of tumblr was being attacked by bots, before things finally settled down. also, this is cheesy af ;)

“Don’t ‘hey’ me,” you mutter at the new notification on your screen.

“I didn’t say anything.”

“Oh, not you, you’re fine.”

“Wait,” Kol sits up, “who then?”

“Oh just another stupid porn bot on tumblr.”

“A what?” At your comment, Elijah looks over to you, too. 

“Oh, right. New to the twenty-first century. Um, just a person - er, not a person, a robot - messaging me for… messaging me.” You try to explain. You had almost said, ‘messaging me for sex,’ but stopped yourself immediately. 

“Messaging for what?”

Fuck. “Um…”

Elijah then asks, “did you say a robot is messaging you?”

You focus on the elder brother’s question first, “yeah. It’s actually quite common in the last couple decades. Lots of customer service people are robots, people trying to scam others can use robots, either for identity theft or whatever else… I’m not good at explaining it, but yeah.”

“So what does your robot want?”

You grimace, “it’s certainly not my robot, it’s just messaging me. But the tumblr bots all are looking for, like, sexual engagement. They message everyone because they don’t know anything about the people they are messaging, but they want bored, horny people to click on their bio links and buy their… porn.”

“You need to tell it to go away.” Kol’s jaw is tense. 

“Yeah, I’m about to block it.”

“No, you need to tell it to stop.”

“I don’t want to actually interact with them because then they’ll keep coming back. They’re like seagulls, Kol. They don’t actually understand the words I’m saying. They see engagement in any way and take it as a win.”

“Well you need to tell someone. You’re mine and they need to know that.”

“Calm down, brother.”

You put a hand on Kol’s knee. “It’s okay, they’re not gonna have me in any way. We report them to staff and block them; it’s the easiest and most effective way to deal with them. And I’m saying ‘we’ as everyone on the app who deals with them.”

“Can you stop using the app, then?”

“Oh, sweetheart… One, no. I’ll still be blogging when I’m six feet under. Two, they’re everywhere, and there’s really no escaping them.”

Elijah steps in again, “trust her, Kol, she knows what she’s doing. Y/N’s a smart girl.”

You send him a smile, then turn to your boyfriend, “I love you, Kol. Only you. I never have and never will engage with the stupid bots, okay? No one’s taking me from you.” 

He finally seems to relax after this. “I still hate them.”

“Everyone does, baby.”

“What are you three talking about?” Klaus barges into the living room. 

“Y/N just introduced us to something called a porn bot, have you heard of them?” Elijah turns to the hybrid. 

“Oh, those shucks are all over the place, can’t bloody stand them! Caroline says you block them and move on!”

He’s gone immediately after, and you turn back to Kol. “See? They even harass your brother.”

A chuckle passes his lips as he thinks of that situation. “Okay. Thank you for explaining it. I was debating if I needed to send the person a death threat, or smash your phone with a hammer.”

“Neither of those things, baby. I am completely yours, and you don’t have to worry a thing.”

[bbygirl-aemond]

aegon's hypersexuality and unacknowledged victimhood

rape cw for this entire post, including rape of a minor

hello all i'm thinking of tom glynn-carney's aegon ii and wanted to put down some thoughts about his promiscuity. as a side note, i refuse to fuck with rapists and so in stormbreak i lean more towards the book rather than the show when it comes to the rape and the child fighting pits (as in, those things have not happened). but i wanted to comment on a few things: his known penchant for sleeping around, his trip to the brothel with 13-year-old aemond, and his relationship with helaena.

these things probably also provide context for how he became what he is in the show, but i don't want this post to be used to excuse his rape of dyanna at all because nothing can excuse rape. let's discuss further:

if you re-watch hotd, take note of how many times aegon is touched, and the nature of that touch. he is kicked and berated by otto. alicent grips his face tightly and slaps him while shouting him. aemond tackles him to the floor and wrestles him into submission. criston holds his shoulder, yes, but to keep him from running away. alicent kisses his forehead, yes, but as part of a ceremony. the only time aegon receives a loving touch from anyone is when alicent grabs his arm to push him behind her at rhaenys's threat.

this is a boy who is so completely touch-starved he doesn't even know what he's missing even as he hungers for it.

from a psychological standpoint, it's very common for people deprived of affection to seek its closest approximation: the bodily contact required by sex. they can hide behind the defense of simply wanting pleasure, all while secretly treasuring the feeling of someone touching them. not to bruise, not to punish, not to restrain, just for pleasure. if they close their eyes, they can pretend it's for love, too.

i wouldn't be surprised if aegon had his first sexual experience when he was far too young. we see that he likes to slip away from the castle--and is somehow usually successful, despite all the scrutiny upon him due to his position. it's not a far reach to assume that an unhappy, unloved, touch-starved baby aegon might have wandered into a flea bottom brothel and discovered that touch didn't have to hurt. having this very warped relationship with sex while he was too young to understand what he was doing and how it was hurting him influences his entire adult personality.

this would also help to provide context for the completely whack decision to bring aemond to a brothel. at this point, aemond has lost his eye, and i've discussed before here that the injury represented a major turning point in their relationship. aegon has no demonstrated desire to belittle or mock or hurt aemond at any point after the eye incident. i don't think he did this malevolently. i think it was aegon, trying to think of what could help aemond to feel less ugly, less unlovable, turning to the only thing he knew of that could come even close to feeling like love and desire. it wasn't, of course, and he knew that, but it was the only balm he had to soothe his own hurt and it was the only one he knew to offer aemond.

i also really don't see enough discussion of how aegon is a victim of rape within his marriage to helaena. obviously helaena isn't given a choice in marrying aegon and having children with him, but neither is aegon. and we see aegon explicitly express that he doesn't want this, which we haven't actually seen from helaena.

there's a reason helaena says aegon only ever touches her when he's drunk. he cannot bring himself to endure rape when he is sober. there's a reason he ignores his children. they are the product of his own rape, by his own hand.

he feels that he has been forced into the position of perpetrator of assault against helaena, his baby sister. he is the rapist and yet he is also the victim and how is he meant to reconcile the two? how is he meant to look helaena in the eye when the sight of her makes his skin crawl with the memory of having to walk willingly to his own assault? of being forced to be the active party, unable to even lay there and dissociate the way alicent always did with viserys?

and not once does anyone acknowledge what has happened to him. even alicent, who should empathize with him the most, has no sympathy for him in this regard. why would she? she's the one who did this to him.

tldr aegon's relationship to sex is and always has been defined by his victimhood. he fell into dangerous patterns of abuse as a child that no one saved him from, and even as an adult is forced to carry out his own rape like i cannot emphasize enough how fucked up that part is. i don't think he's ever had an experience with sex that didn't make him feel like shit when it was over, if not during. and yet he keeps doing it, keeps hurting himself, because it's the closest thing he thinks he'll ever get--the closest thing he thinks he'll ever deserve--to love.

[darkficsyouneveraskedfor]

Special Interest 5

Warnings: non/dubcon, age gap, creep behaviour, and other dark elements. My username actually says you never asked for any of this.

Characters: Cole Turner, short!reader

Part of the Bookstore AU

Note: this one is a bit longer than I anticipated!

My warnings are not exhaustive but be aware this is a dark fic and may include potentially triggering topics. Please use your common sense when consuming content. I am not responsible for your decisions.

As usual, I would appreciate any and all feedback. I’m happy to once more go on this adventure with all of you! Thank you in advance for your comments and for reblogging.

“Hmm, I don’t know Camila,” Cole picks out the washer, “I don’t think this will fix the problem. Sounds like a different issue than the pipe.”

“Yes, well, my husband said to get this,” she ho-hums, “thanks so much for helping me find this.”

“No problem,” He grins, his baby blue eyes deceivingly bright, “I know this place pretty well. We order most things in bulk but you can’t wait weeks when it’s an emergency. Especially with farmwork.”

“Oh my, you are so responsible. It’s just you and your parents on the farm?” She flutters her lashes. Maybe your dad should be concerned.

You stand off to the side, staring down toilet seats as they chatter. Neither of them have stopped and you’re not bothered fading into the background. Hell, you prefer they forget you entirely. You look down at the cactus in your hand, you could just sneak off with this new prickly friend.

“Yeah. Sister comes to visit but someone needed to stay behind. There’s too much work for just my dad and we never recovered fully from the recession. Can’t really afford a hand.” Cole explains.

“Aw, oh, how dreadful,” your mother gestures like a melancholy Victorian widow. “I’m sure your parents appreciate how helpful you are…”

You don’t miss her eyes as they stray in your direction. You give a scowl, you’re helpful. You take the garbage out and do the dishes. Hell, you’re the only reason the toaster works again.

“Yeah well, I know when I was younger, they probably didn’t feel the same. You know, you just gotta get perspective and learn what’s important.”

Okay, this is ridiculous. They are drinking the same flavorade and you’re more of a cream soda girl. You peer around evasively.

“Well, mom, you got the washer thingy, we should get going. Dad’ll be waiting,” you say.

“I suppose you’re right. Oh, and we still have to hit Eddie’s for dinner,” she recalls, “hm, what a long day it’s been.”

“Eddie's? Oh, I know that place. Owner’s a buddy of mine. I could probably get you a deal.”

“We’re good,” you insist as you step forward, “we got our cactus and our thingamajig. We can pay for dinner.”

“Honey, he’s just being nice,” your mother reproaches, “it is so sweet of you, Cole, but it would be a bit much.”

“You know, that’s a good idea. I should head down that way too,” Cole swiftly diverts her denial, “mom and dad love a good kebab. I always try to bring ‘em something when I come to town.”

“Oh, my heart,” your mother squees, “you are such a good son.”

You clear your throat. Your mother gives you a look. Cole glances over, his head tilted victoriously. He’s effectively making you look like a real bum and you just made a couple hundred.

“Look, I can tell you two are in a hurry,” he shifts suddenly, reaching under his jacket, “I’ll give you my card. I’m down at the market three times a week. If you need any tips about the cactus or maybe looking for a buddy for it, you can always call.”

“Wow, thank you, Cole,” your mom accepts with a fawning gaze, “oh, honey, you hold onto this,” she waves the card in your direction, “I’ll just lose it.”

You reluctantly step closer and take the card. More like rip it up. You pinch it between your knuckles and retreat. Again, Cole peeks over at you.

“I gotta go grab that sod,” he leans back on his heel, “see ya around… I hope.”

“You too, sweetie,” your mom preens.

He backs up, his eyes flitting between you and your mom. He gives you a smile and slowly turns on his heel. He struts away with a bit of a hop, almost as if he’s nervous. You scoff and shake your head. What a show.

“He is so nice!” Your mother announces shrilly, “oh my, and so handsome. And tall and dreamy. His eyes, god those eyes.”

“Mom, you’re married. You know, to dad?” You roll your eyes.

“Oh, hush, I saw you looking at him and he was looking at you,” she fans herself, “you would make the cutest babies.”

“God, ew, another word and you're getting the cactus,” you warn.

“What? You too would be adorable and I can tell, he’s single. He didn’t mention a wife or anything. And a farm? You’d be set for life, and your kids could run all around–”

“He’s a stranger and you’re talking about babies,” you sneer, “please, before I throw up.”

“That whole hard to get thing, it doesn’t work, honey,” she chides.

“I’m not– I don’t want him to get me. I’d prefer I never see him again. Ever. Forever.”

She giggles, “don’t be so dramatic. What did he do to you? He was perfectly sweet. Good manners. Good posture…”

“Really mom, should I be concerned for your marriage,” you snort.

“If only. I think I’m a bit too old for him,” she mourns with a swoon.

“If we don’t get something to eat soon, I’m going to lose my appetite,” you stick your tongue out.

“You are a brat. I’m your mother, you know?” You set off down the aisle next to her as she finally abandons the plumbing shelf. “Why can’t you be like Cole. Such a good boy.”

“Oh my god! Mom, you don’t know him. How do you even know he told the truth? What if there is no farm?”

“You don’t know him either, do you? So maybe, before you assume the worst, you should give him a chance.”

“A chance?” You puff out, “never. He’s an order number, nothing else. And old.”

Your mom tisks and turns towards checkout. You avoid looking at her as her disappointment radiates off her. She wiggles the washer in her hand.

“Where’s that card, I’ll put it in my purse.”

“Ugh, take it,” you flick it at her, “I was just gonna dump it in the trash.”

“Why, with how prickly you are, we shouldn’t need any more cactuses,” she chides.

[joeyalohadream]

For the Get to know your fic writer! 20, 41 and 45 😁 

20. Have you noticed any patterns in your fics? Words/expressions that appear a lot, themes, common settings, etc?

41. Do you tend to reread fics or are you a one-and-done kind of person?

45. Do you want to break your readers‘ heart or make them laugh?

Hi! Thanks for sending these! 💕

(answers below)

20. Oh, absolutely. Not sure if it would be a 'pattern' or just a preference but almost all of my stories are Buck x Bucky in an established relationship. I really enjoy exploring the things they go through in war with them already being together, as opposed to having their feelings for each other as another form of angst to explore. I wanted to have their relationship as a source of comfort and peace amidst the horrors of war instead of as another thing fueling the tension.

Also, I tend to write an extreme amount of soft gestures between the boys, ie brushing each others hair back, cradling of the face, forehead kisses, etc. Happens in ALL of my fics. Tenderness is probably the most common 'theme' in my writing.

And while 'doll' has become the fandom favorite petname for Gale from John, I have yet to use it (love it though). In my eyes, he's 'sweetheart' and 'baby' to John. And John is 'darlin'' to Gale.

41. I am definitely a re-reader! If I find a fic that really moves me, or one that has elements that I love, I'll re-read it all the time. I once got a comment that was along the lines of, "this story is exactly what I would write if I COULD write.' and it always stuck with me. It's why I open up my ask box for fic requests every now and then, because I know I've searched through AO3 fandom tags and not found exactly what I'm looking for, so I like to give back and provide the followers with what they want sometimes. I write what I want to read.

Some fics that I re-read in the MoTa fandom though:

Reverie - by @avonne-writes (I have probably read this story 20 times, if not more. I'll often read a chapter as a bedtime story when I'm having a rough night. It's one of my absolute favorite fics ever written).

a good dream - by @switchgrassdevil (another common bedtime story from a VERY talented writer. It's the hurt/comfort I crave and I love this story).

Obligate Mutualism - by bowhuntress (more angsty, but so beautifully written).

45. Lol. Both? Neither? Um, I've been straying into angst a little more than is usual for me, but it's not really ever my intent to 'break a heart'. I won't ever write a story that doesn't have a happy ending because it just doesn't appeal to me. I honestly won't read stories that don't have happy endings either. I respect them and some really talented writers I admire have written them, but they're just not for me.

Even in my angstiest fics, I always infuse them with tenderness and love and softness. So while I have received comments about making people cry/'breaking their hearts', I hope I put them back together quickly with a little fluffy bandage.

And I don't really write 'humor' per say, but it's always nice to throw in a line or two (usually through dialogue) that I hope will bring a chuckle or a smile.

[onehundredandeleventropicalfish]

you know for ostensibly a delirium fan blog, i end up talking disproportionally about dream and desire, so lets even those scales a little, because there's plenty interesting to talk about with my girl

and one thing that i think is really important to delirium's characterisation is that she is not a child

she's impulsive, yes. she can be absent minded, she enjoys playing, and has little care about being perceived as weird. she struggles to communicate her thoughts in a 'normal' way, all things common amongst various neurodivergences. but she's extremely aware of her surroundings, and her realm is home to every fucked up thought anyone's ever had, she's in no way naive (like look at how many of her ramblings involve sex or death or other things that would be censored in kids media)

the very first time we meet delirium in the comics, we get this bit of narration, which has stuck in my head since i read it

because that battle between who delirium is and who people see her as is fascinating to me

she's older than every being that's ever lived, mortal or not, bar 8 (her siblings and her parents)

and celestial bodies are also people in this universe, they're all younger than her too, she's watched the stars grow up

she is the 9th oldest being ever

but we see so much of this story through the eyes of the other endless, and they don't think of her as the 9th eldest being in existence. they think of her as their baby sister

some more than others. i think destruction was one of the people most willing to see her as she actually is. and while i'm not sure if dream is always on the list of good siblings here (he has a tendency to be condescending), someone commented on my post about a dream and delirium scene that despite delirium making no sense, dream doesn't talk down to her

he may not see her as on his level (he does, after all, agree to go with delirium at first because he assumes it's something she'll get bored of and forget about eventually, he doesn't expect her to be right), but dream at least has an abstract enough domain that he sees through her words to the meaning behind them, and he respects her way of communicating

but with most of her siblings, it's a fight to be taken seriously, and we do see a few moments where she's angry enough to remind them she's their equal

and i love her so much as neurodivergent representation, because how many of us have had to deal with the whole adult physically child mentally thing? oh they're mentally a 5 year old, no, they're mentally an adult, they just think differently to you. and i love del for the fact that she doesn't let certain things being 'childish' stop her from doing them if they feel right, she doesn't let anyone else make her hide things about herself. but also she stands up for herself and reminds her siblings that she knows more than any of them.

and she does, she's the only endless who's been through a change like that. she sees so much more than they do, and just because she can't always communicate it doesn't mean she doesn't understand

her realm is described as the easiest for people to reach, the closest to humanity (but one of the hardest to leave). death gets all the credit for spending the most time with humanity, not distancing herself from that like the other endless, but neither does delirium. del was perhaps the first to figure out what it was the endless were missing. just because her mind is in pieces doesn't mean she isn't whole

(the best characterisations of del in fics will always be the ones that remember her dialogue isn't just random rambling, the rambling has to come hand in hand with extremely perceptive observations of the people around her)

(she's the one of the few people who can make dream speechless in her analysis of his issues)

and yes, her physical presentation is younger than that of her siblings. but she doesn't present as a child, she hasn't since she was delight, she presents as a teenager

because what other physical form perfectly represents that frustration to be seen as the adult you know you are in your head when everyone in your life can only see you as a child?

[beautifulchris]

mischief managed

pairing: han jisung x gn!reader

wc: 3,2k

featuring: lee minho, kim seungmin, sf9’s chani, nct’s jaemin

summary: jisung tries to break every single rule with you

genres: hogwarts!au, partners-in-crime!au, ravenclaw!jisung, slytherin!reader, fluff, comedy

warnings: swearing

notes: I wanna apologize to jaemin for doing him so dirty, my baby doesn’t deserve this sdjkfqlk feedback is always appreciated! moodboard made by me, pictures found on the internet. reposting works from my old blog

order of writing: chan - jisung - minho - hyunjin - jeongin - seungmin - changbin - felix

networks: @kflixnet @k-labels @straykidsland

tag list: @badwithten @raethethey send ask/dm/comment to be added!

On the King’s Cross train station on your very first day, you almost missed the train because your dad absolutely wanted to take the best pic of his precious kid going to the mythic Hogwarts school. So you ended up in an almost empty compartment. The other compartments around were full and there was just this boy alone.

“Hey, can I sit here?” You probably startled him because he looked up at you with wild eyes but instantly smiled at your sight.

“Yeah, sure.”

“What are you doing all alone?” you asked as you sat in front of him.

He shrugged. “Looking at my chocolate frog cards collection.”

“Wow, nice. Can I see?”

He handed them to you, “Yes, of course. I’m Jisung by the way.”

“I’m Y/N.”

Since that day, you were inseparable and soon became partners-in-crime. Being put in different houses didn’t stop you.

(っ◔◡◔)っ ✿ฺ

After learning Alohomora in charms class, you wandered in the castle to find a forbidden office to open and what better one than the caretaker’s where a whole lot of interesting things were stored?

There, you found a few dungbombs that Jisung instantly took, confiscated brooms and chains. A lot of perfectly polished chains hung on the walls.

“I understand why he doesn’t stay here often,” you snorted and returned to your inspection. In a dusty cabinet named ‘Confiscated and Highly Dangerous’, you found an old piece of blank parchment. It was mysteriously well conserved taking into account where it was so you put it in your pocket. Further inspection will be done to know how a simple parchment could be ‘highly dangerous’.

“I’m kinda disappointed. Sure we’ll use the dungbombs wisely but I thought there were more interesting treasures.”

“Don’t be so down yet Ji, I found a mystery to resolve. Let’s go before we get caught.”

Fortunately, you didn’t get caught. You both went to your common room, being a quiet place with almost no students at this hour. You showed Jisung the parchment and counted on his intelligence and logic to figure out how it worked. After a few minutes, he looked up at you and smirked.

“I feel like it’s in good hands now.”

You raised an eyebrow. “What do you mean?”

Instead of answering, he put his wand out of his pocket and pointed it to the parchment.

“I solemnly swear that I am up to no good,” he simply said. You were going to question him when the parchment caught your eye. Ink was spreading on the paper and soon you could read:

“Messrs Moony, Wormtail, Padfoot, and Prongs, Purveyors of Aids to Magical Mischief-Makers are proud to present…”

“The Marauder’s Map,” Jisung whispered with stars in his eyes.

“What is this? Open it!”

Jisung did as told and both of you were dumbfounded by what you discovered. A map of the whole school, including the secret passages that are hidden within its walls and the location of every person in the grounds, portrayed by a dot. This map, a true masterpiece, within your hands was a disaster for everyone else.

(っ◔◡◔)っ ✿ฺ

Three years later, you knew everything you could possibly have learned about the school. Neither Ravenclaw or Slytherin could win the house cup as long as you both were in Hogwarts. No matter the amount of effort Seungmin, Changbin and Minho would make to earn points, they could never make up for your wickedness. You did earn points sometimes in classes when you answered correctly to a teacher’s question and you weren’t the only one to lose points either so you didn’t feel so bad. You did lose more points than you earned but shhh. Let's not talk about that.

One day, on your way to the lake after lunch, Gryffindor Jaemin called your name so you stopped in your tracks and waited for him to join you.

“Hey, Y/N, I was wondering if you would like to study with me after class? For transfiguration.”

Uh. Jaemin has never been your friend and the most he ever said to you before now was “Get out of my way, filthy Slytherin.” the second day of your first year. Therefore you were startled, to say the least. Plus you wanted to study with Jisung, not some acquaintance you never talked to and weren’t interested in.

“Not really, I already have plans for tonight. Thank you for the offer though.”

You tried to sound as nice as you could but without much convection and left before he could reply. A few meters away, Jisung saw the whole scene and wondered what you had told him because he looked displeased. He joined you and you smiled at him before intertwining fingers.

The next day, Jisung and you were sunbathing with a nice autumn breeze on a bench in the courtyard when someone came in front of you, preventing the sun from warming your face. You opened your eyes and were met with Jaemin and a few of his friends.

“Can you move please?” you politely demanded, since you didn’t want to start anything.

“Are you dating him?” he asked, pointing at your best friend.

“No?”

“Then why did you reject my date proposal?”

Oh my god. Really? You were going to put him in place but Jisung’s mocking laugh stopped you.

“Really dude? You want to do this here?”

“I don’t think you’re in the conversation.” Jaemin’s glare didn’t please you.

“Should’ve asked to talk to Y/N in person then instead of creating unnecessary drama.”

Jaemin looked like he was going to throw hands so you spoke before it went too far.

“Guys, let’s stay civil here. I rejected you cause I’m not interested in you, there's no other motive. Now can you let us be?” His friends laughed at him and you could swear you heard one of them say something about a bet.

“Wait, asking Y/N out on a date was a bet?”

“And what about it?” Jaemin said cockily. Jisung was fuming and you were disgusted by the boy.

“Can’t you respect people? No one deserves to be a bet’s victim. You guys suck.”

He scoffed. “I’m sure you’re the type of guy who hides when it comes to fight.”

“Try me.” You knew by his glare that he wasn’t playing anymore. Jaemin was smirking but not for long.

“Let’s duel.”

Jisung was so fast to put his wand out, it surprised Jaemin. You tried to stop them but it was useless because their pride was at stake.

Before you could blink, Jaemin ended up mouthless and you heard a woman screaming but you didn’t listen, being amazed by the spell’s effect. Jisung took your hand and ran through the corridors, hearing the professor yelling she would remove twenty points from his house.

You managed to catch your breath while Jisung was answering an easy riddle —for him— to enter the Ravenclaw common room.

“I can’t believe you really did it.”

“He challenged me! You know I can’t say no to that,” Jisung sighed.

“I know. That was brilliant, by the way.” You sat on one of the comfortable chairs like you lived there —it wasn’t totally false— and you were followed by your partner-in-crime.

“Thanks! I practiced this one a lot, I couldn’t wait to use it for real.”

“I hope you didn’t do anything foolish,” said a voice behind you.

“Oh, Seungmin! I didn’t see you there.” Jisung turned around and smiled. Seungmin was reading a book in a blue armchair. He closed it and gave his attention to his friends. “I hope you’re not hoping too hard.”

“How much?”

“What do you mean?” Jisung’s innocent act didn’t work since the second time he used it but he was still trying three years later.

“Twenty,” you answered. Seungmin gave Jisung a look and he shrugged.

“It was fun and I don’t regret it.” He folded his arms and pouted like a grounded kid.

“Of course you don’t,” Seungmin loudly exhaled.

“You’ll make it up for it, won’t you?”

Seungmin sighed deeply. He felt like he had to work twice as hard to win back the points Jisung made their house lose but it was never enough. “I always do, but don’t you think you should calm down a bit?”

“Absolutely not. There’s still a lot of rules Y/N and I haven't broken yet, so many adventures and exciting moments to live.” Jisung smiled widely at you while Seungmin implored you with his eyes to stop him. Your gaze went from one to another without really knowing what to say and before you could, someone sat next to Jisung and typed on the table.

“What mischief are you going to commit today pals?” It was Chani, one of the chasers of the Ravenclaw Quidditch team and a fellow 4th year.

“Hey Chani! Already done, Jaemin asked for a duel and I used Oscausi on him.”

“Oh I don’t know th-” Chani started.

“OSCAUSI? Jisung, are you crazy?” Seungmin got up so fast he startled everyone, including others around him.

“Don’t worry, he got his mouth back,” Jisung waved his hand with indifference, Jaemin deserved it after all. “Eventually.”

“You’re going to be the death of me, really.” Jisung and Chani just laughed at that and Jaemin unofficially became your target for a lot of future mischief.

(っ◔◡◔)っ ✿

“I haven’t lost any points in days, maybe I should start to pay attention in arithmancy class.”

It was this time of the year where the air was so cold you just stayed in your or Jisung’s common room and studied to prevent boredom.

Jisung pulled his robe hood over his head and gently slapped you in the back of the head. “Transfigure this quill into a rat and put it onto Jaemin’s head.”

“I mean, yeah, that’s a funnier idea.”

You lost ten points for it but you found it so fun you were back on track until the next cold day.

(っ◔◡◔)っ ✿

You always loved the Ravenclaw common room. You didn’t dislike the Slytherin one, but it was cold and unfriendly when you weren’t a Slytherin yourself. Plus you loved warm places. What you liked the most about the Ravenclaw common room was the domed ceiling painted with stars. You could literally watch it for hours until having to go to your own dorm to sleep. If you weren’t friends with Jisung, you probably would never have been able to lose yourself in the stars because you weren’t that close with Seungmin or Chani and you didn’t really know any other Ravenclaws.

You were currently lying down on one of the couches, your head on Jisung’s lap, helping each other revise (yes, it happens!) for the history of magic test about the goblin rebellions you would have the next day, more concentrated on the stars than the subject. It was calming and it helped you stress less about the tests.

“Where’s Muffin?” you asked out of nowhere.

It made Jisung flinch but when didn't he? Just like she knew her name, she appeared next to you, purring loudly. You put her on your belly and patted her head lovingly.

“Don’t forget she’s my cat,” whined Jisung as he closed his book and put it on the coffee table next to the couch.

You smirked. “Don’t be jealous cause she loves me more.”

The elegant Siberian cat got up and rubbed herself against your best friend’s chest, waving her tail on your face.

“You were saying?”

You rolled your eyes and opened your transfiguration book which was on the floor. It was going to be a long night and you’ll probably have to go back to your dorm after curfew. Bless the marauder’s map in those moments.

(っ◔◡◔)っ ✿

The Quidditch match between Ravenclaw and Slytherin was coming up and Jisung had to practice more than usual as the seeker. He was going to play against Changbin after all. They both were really good so you wondered who would win the match. Gryffindor had won the first match against Slytherin and Ravenclaw won the one against Hufflepuff thanks to Jisung’s agility and speed.

You always followed Jisung at his training, it was the only moments he wasn’t trying to break the rules. He was pretty serious about Quidditch actually, even if after each training since your 3rd year, you went to drink a mug of butterbeer at the Three Broomsticks with Chani. It was like tradition.

The day of the match, you cheered on your team and your friends, so basically both teams. The competitive mindset of the two seekers could be felt from afar, everybody knew the match was going to be intense. At the end, the score was 350-200 for Slytherin, because Yugyeom, one of the Slytherin beaters, sent a bludger on Jisung’s broom, causing him to spin around and allowing Changbin to catch the golden snitch. It was a good game and Jisung didn’t fall so it was a double win.

Of course you would say that cause you're a Slytherin.

(っ◔◡◔)っ ✿

Ravenclaws shared the defence against the dark arts class with Slytherins so, naturally, Jisung and you were seated together.

“Hello everyone! Today’s lesson is about acromentulas.” As the professor proceeded with his lecture, you felt your strong partner-in-crime shiver in his seat. You looked at him and were surprised by how much he looked terrified of acromentulas, not that you could blame him, these giant spiders were scary as hell.

“You okay there, bro?” He didn’t answer and was so pale you thought he was going to faint. You tried to comfort him but he was frozen.

The professor, not giving a care about what was happening in front of his face, decided to show some photos of acromentulas and as if it didn’t trigger Jisung enough, he eventually showed a real one in a big cage. From what you’ve seen in your books, it was nearly a teen so it wasn’t that big compared to his adult size but it was still big enough to scare the hell out of Jisung. He literally fell off his chair and the sound made the professor pay attention.

“Jisung? What happened?”

“He’s really scared of acromentulas, sir. Can you please put it away?”

“Oh. Yes, of course.”

While the professor finally put it away, you helped Jisung sit back.

“You okay?”

“Not really. That shit’s so grim.”

“I know, take deep breaths. It’s gone, everything’s alright.”

His breathing was unsteady for a few moments but he quickly got his composure back.

“I’m sorry Jisung, didn’t mean to frighten you. Class’ dismissed. Except you, Jisung.”

Everyone left except Seungmin, who checked on his friend, Jisung and you.

The professor went to his office and came back with chocolate.

“Here, eat this, you’ll feel better. I didn’t know it was this horrifying for you.”

He accepted the chocolate and ate it slowly. “It’s okay, you couldn’t know. Arachnophobia isn’t cool.”

“I won’t show any spider in this class from now on, I promise.”

“Thank you sir.”

“You can go now, drink water and rest.”

As you left class, Jisung whispered in your ear. “I don’t need water, I need a good butterbeer.”

You both chuckled and, after saying bye to Seungmin who certainly left to go to the library to do his homework, went to the Three Broomsticks using the secret passage beneath the one-eyed statue by the stairs of your last class to drink one or two mugs of butterbeer.

(っ◔◡◔)っ ✿

Two months before the end of the year, Jisung had the baddest yet boldest idea so far. It was remarkable how he never failed to impress you.

“I’m going to use this potion on Jaemin, he’ll definitely leave you alone after that.”

“He left me alone after I put a rat onto his head but suit yourself, bro.”

You were hiding behind stairs on the third floor, waiting for Jaemin to walk down. Jisung was holding his flask tight in his hand. When you heard people talking, you discreetly looked up and saw Jaemin. Jisung didn’t hesitate and before you could react, his flask was emptied on Jaemin’s head. His hair slowly stood on end but it wasn’t all, it also turned into candy apple red. He somehow added Colovaria to the hair-rising potion and you were about to congratulate him when you got a glimpse of Minho upstairs.

Jaemin left, horrified, to the nearest bathroom to see the damage while Minho was casually walking down the stairs. Jisung lost his smile when he saw him and swallowed hard. Once arrived at your height, he opened his mouth.

“Rules are put in place to prevent hundreds of magically gifted hormonal hazards from accidentally turning themselves into sharks or losing an eye, or provoking the wrath of a giant spider, or blowing themselves up, or whatever. But here you are, trying to break every single one of them.” You almost felt relieved he didn’t scream at you.

“Look, I’m stupid, okay? And stupid people do stupid things. That’s a fact.”

You could have laughed at his excuse if Minho wasn’t staring at both of you like he was about to end you. He wasn’t generally scary but he was a prefect so when you did something wrong… well, let’s say you better not be seen by him.

“Do you use this lame excuse every time you do shit?”

“My other excuse is that it was Y/N’s idea but no one buys it.”

You looked at him in disbelief. Of course no one bought it, you were more like his sidekick than the mastermind.

“Not surprising. Anyway, fifteen points from Ravenclaw. I would have taken twenty but adding a transfiguration spell to a potion was really clever.”

He asked Jisung for a favor, talking privately in the nearest classroom for a few minutes. Then Minho left and Jisung came back to you with a big smile and you high-fived him. The Marauders Map usually prevented incidents like this and he wasn’t near this place when you last checked the Map. Minho literally came out of nowhere.

(っ◔◡◔)っ ✿

On a fine and warm day, as Jisung and you successfully pranked Jaemin for the umpteenth time that year, he turned to you still laughing.

“You know what’s the strength of a duet? It’s to be two.”

“Thank you for your encouraging words. I now know you need me,” you winked.

The laughter slowly died down and the atmosphere became somehow serious. He sat on a bench and you joined him.

“Are you kidding? I’ll always need you.”

“Always? Sounds like a really long time,” you chuckled, more to tease him and put aside the fact that you need him just as much.

“Just wishing we’ll stay together forever,” he blurted out, his eyes concentrating on his shoes.

“You’re sweet. I would love that too.”

He lifted his head and looked you in the eye.

“Really? No need for the Imperius Curse then?” You blinked a few times, about to smack him when he smiled wildly. “Just kidding, I would never.”

“Anyway, go train for the match against Gryffindor, wouldn’t want Mark to catch the snitch before you, would you?”

“Won’t happen.”

thank you for reading! if you enjoyed, please let me know <3 and here's the masterlist!

[mzminola]

Because something superhero comics, noir, and fanfic all have in common is leaning into soap opera convolutedness, @alexmaybe & I have come up with the Bruce Wayne Spawn Shell Game AU, in which the middle kids are all biologically Bruce’s.

(Dick really is John & Mary Grayson’s, and Damian is Talia’s direct clone.)

No one finds this out until Batman!Bruce & Robin!Damian are fighting a magic user who has heard rumors that Robin is Batman’s son (rumors started by Damian’s not so quiet comments about being The Blood Son). The mage gloats that they’re going to use a “teleport everyone with X trait to me” spell to yank Robin over, and use the disorientation of teleportation to take him hostage. “I will summon Batman’s direct blood descendents! Mwa ha ha ha!”

Cue Damian staying firmly at Bruce’s side, while Cass in street wear with bubble tea, Jason doing gear maintenance, a random college student studying for exams, and Tim in his pajamas pop out of the ether all within a yard of the mage.

The mage regrets their life choices.

~

Now, how did we get here?

Firstly, during the years Bruce is doing his world tour of Learning Batman Skills while still swinging in and out of Gotham, Bruce is seeking physical activity to make his brain shut up, and also seeking intimacy but keeping too many secrets to let himself actually get close to people, so he is sleeping with Even More People Than In His Batman Years. He remembers condoms but always doesn’t use them perfectly.

Bruce meets Sandra & Carolyn Wu-San at their dojo in Brooklyn. Some time later when David Cain coerces Sandra into reproductive sex, she seeks out every male martial artist she vaguely respected or thought had potential to sleep with them too as a Fuck You to undermine Cain’s scheme without openly breaking their deal.

Bruce has a one-night stand with pre-transition Willis Todd, both of them just giving their first (legal) name, no contact info. Figuring out several months later that he’s pregnant but no clue how to find the other father, Willis, who does want kids someday, weighs the pros and cons of “having trouble making ends meet right now, can I support a kid?” with “everyone says pregnancy would be harder later in transition,” and opts to have Jason now.

Sheila Haywood is either a friend or a bribable hospital worker (or both) who agrees to put her name down as the mom so Willis can legally be his kid’s dad without any complicated paperwork. Willis and Catherine never got around to telling Jason before both of them died. When Jason showed up at the camp thinking Sheila was his bio-mom she rolled with it, figuring she could get details of why he thought that later, and then unfortunately [canon ensued].

It won’t be until the spell incident happens that Bruce puts together one night stand Wilhelmina with Why do the pictures of Willis Todd look kinda familiar? Because he definitely never slept with Catherine or Sheila.

Bruce meets, befriends and sleeps with Janet Drake while going on an archaeological research binge. He’s also still having a lot of random bar and nightclub hook-ups.

Some months later, while Jack is out of town on a business trip, Janet complains to Bruce that Jack really wants a son, but the latest ultrasound shows a female fetus. Janet really doesn’t want to deal with pregnancy ever again, but Jack isn’t open to adoption, and ugh if only Janet could just swap this one for a male infant. It would be so easy to nudge Jack into an archeology dig closer to the due date, he’d never have to know!

(No, neither Bruce nor Janet have thought maybe Bruce got Janet pregnant instead of Jack.)

“You’ve got this knack for finding odd things at just the right moment, Brucie…”

Janet knows it’s a long shot, and dubiously ethical because adoption records exist for good reason, and if they can’t find a baby that works she’ll just have to dig her heels in with Jack against trying for a son, but if Bruce could find a baby…

Bruce makes no promises other than keeping an eye and ear out.

Anyway, Bruce isn’t Batman yet, but he’s home between tutors on his World Tour and venturing into the city in various disguises to learn more about Gotham’s underworld, and getting into trouble. So it is Bruce Wayne with a fresh concussion, not a drunk Brucie, who stumbles into an alley to vomit and finds a baby in a dumpster.

It’s a very full dumpster, one half of the lid broken off. An orange cat (who may or may not be Teekl returning a future favor) is curled around the newborn baby boy. The infant has a shock of hair as dark as Janet’s.

Concussed Bruce walks all the way to the Drake townhouse marveling at the tiny hand gripping his finger so tight.

Janet schedules a C-section. Bruce forges Timothy Jackson Drake’s birth certificate and arranges the adoption of Janet’s daughter by a family in Oregon. He keeps tabs on them over the years, preparing a Wayne Foundation scholarship to the college of her choice someday.

~

Back to the magic incident: Nightwing and Batwoman were on their way there as back-up when the mage cast the summoning spell, so Dick is able to hug Damian as the kid bluescreens about Not Being The Blood Son.

Bruce awkwardly explains that yes, he ran Damian’s DNA when Talia dropped him off, but when he realized Damian was Talia’s direct clone, he also realized Talia was taking steps to ensure her child escaped the League of Assassins, by attaching him to one of the few people on the planet who can go toe to toe with (and even defeat) her father. Bruce opted to go along with Talia’s choice.

Kate has gotten popcorn from somewhere, munching on it while Bruce desperately thinks back to his Mega Ho Years to figure out how everyone else happened.

Cass is feeling a vindictive sort of smugness about not being David Cain’s bio-kid. He’s still her dad, but he only got part of what he wanted from Shiva.

Jason is pissed at Bruce for not figuring it out earlier, but kinda relieved that Sheila wasn't actually his mom.

The freshman college student from Oregon is really annoyed, she was at study group and she CANNOT fail this class!!! Now she’s on the entire opposite coast???

Tim is having some feelings about how fucking soap opera his origins turn out to be. Bruce slept with his mom Janet, but also she wasn’t his birth mom, he was adopted and no one told him??? Who the heck is his other birth parent??? What were the odds of his apparent bio-parent Bruce being the one to find him??? Wait, was finding baby Tim in a dumpster why younger!Bruce suddenly had Wayne Enterprises put money into improving and proliferating Safe Drop-Off Sites in Gotham???

(He is Not Thinking About his complicated relationship with Jack.)

~

Tim, when things are just starting to quiet down: “Wait, so does Talia have XY chromosomes, or does Damian have XX? Because I’ve done a lot of of cloning lab work, and—”

Damian: “Don’t talk about my mother’s chromosomes, dumpster baby.”

Tim: >:(

Bruce, very tired: “Damian, don’t call your brother a dumpster baby.”

Damian, indignant: “But you just told us you found him in a dumpster as an infant!”

Freshman college student: “Dude, it’s still fucking rude? Like how would you like being called a test tube baby?”

Damian: /draws sword/

Dick, pushing sword back into sheath: “No drawing weapons on civilians. Or calling Tim rude things. Tim, I think any chromosome questions are Talia and Damian’s personal medical business, so please don’t speculate on them.”

Tim, sarcastically: “Sorry, I forgot medical privacy exists after how you all reacted to the spleen thing.”

Freshman college student: “Spleen thing?”

Tim: “Don’t worry, it’s not genetic. Speaking of, B, you’re gonna have to update, like, all our medical history now.”

Bruce, even more tired: "Hn."

[chickpea0]

Going to be real for a sec, just thinking outloud because I know this is a safe place and I need to get thoughts out. Veeerry long! Not a vent just a brain dump. do not bother reading this unless youre really reallyyy into biographies lol this is literally 1,915 words

I'm stuck inbetween minds at the moment. I keep asking myself if regression, or dreaming, isn't really for me. I found agere and petre when I was very young, about 14; it piqued my interest because I'm a very curious person, interested in different lifestyles and ways to explore the self but I also think that because I was just coming out of childhood even though I thought my childhood had ended years before. I was just growing out of being a tween and at that stage in life, it's really startling going from childhood to seemingly adulthood overnight and it's quite natural and common for people to want to cling onto things when everything is being shaken up like that.

Intamacy with people, vulnerability and emotional closeness is always somethign I've struggled with and felt like it was just out of reach so the idea of allowing myself to be back at a stage where I was raw, authentic and less closed up was really really appealing. Plus, the idea of people understanding that and guiding me and just being around me would mean they *really* like me and they're not just there because they have to be, even though I've never had a caregiver though I have had like 2 online friendships where I could be baby around them which felt quite good but I never quite felt satisfied. probably because it was online and neither laster over 3 months. I'm practically always masking and the idea of being weird (I mean this without negative connotation) and expressive really sounded amazing. I have also always always always wanted to be apart of a community but I just never have. No clubs or hobbies that made me feel welcome growing up, no proper friend groups that made made me feel at home, I think I've been in a lot of fandom/online community spaces just because I wanted to feel apart of something though because I was never able to contribute it just felt like a one-way mirror.

So!! I find a lovely community like this! With a focus on mental health, togetherness, working through things and taking time to appriciate things, it's great! I love you guys! I can even make moodboards and little posts and I have a cg blog and a slightly bigger blog where I help boost creators on here. I have mutuals!!!!! People follow me!!! We talk on tags and comments!!! I feel like I have insider knowledge and experience because I've had a lot of oppertuinty to reflect on life and mental health and even on regression itself. But thing is I do not regress often at all. When I do it's for split seconds. When I'm really sleepy, when I'm allowing myself to be vulnerable, if I'm having a weird spacey day. I'm not sure if it's more dissociation or a sudden wave of emotion or what. I think I'm just generally an immature person some times. I haven't grown up yet, I'm only an adolescent. It's not something I want to force because forcing things like this, especially if it is dissociation, can be pretty bad for your brain. Age dreaming is a different thing though.

For me I'm between a rock and a hardplace. I do not feel like I regress organically enough to be on here nearly as much as I am. I'm so tense that I feel like I can't relax or open up enough to enjoy even age dreaming. Brainfog, sure! But it's not regression. I also do not want to edge too far and go into maladaptive nostalgia terratory. I feel, lately, like I kind of need to say goodbye and thank you to my childhood but it's over now and that doesn't have to be a bad thing. I think there's such a focus- everywhere online not just here- on "how good" the old days were. People making heart wrenching nostalgia edits with slowed minecraft music and ambient noise just to rake in veiws and to pull at your own heartstrings. It's natural to seek solace and yearn for something that was so familiar and safe especially at a time where not only is daily life changing for the individual but also for society at large. But rose tinted glasses are not accurate and can be dangerous. Nostalgia should be something that makes you feel light and refreshed. When you hear a song that you haven't heard in years and go 'oh! I remeber! I remember what my brain was like back then' and smile and move on. Maybe taking inspiration from it.

But.

I feel like my nervous system is so fried that making any progess is really draining and proper healthy coping mechanisms never seem to stick. I also feel very isolated, having no irl friends at the moment and not having any purpose like education, work, volonteering, passions, whatever. These are all things I have experienced for well over a decade which is... obviously a very large chunk of my life so far. So I really do need something to fill my life with, a familer space with familiar ideals and stuff. You guys are great. You have such refreshing takes and it just feels so calm and kind here. At the end of the day despite feeling a bit repetative at this point for me, I do enjoy looking at life through this lense. This place has not changed much at all since I started my blog in 2021. It's honestly one of the most consistant things in my day to day life! God. even the streets are changing but it's nice to know I can log on here if I need some reliability.

And thing is, I don't know if it's related to my ASD or my trauma or lack of experience in the world or none of those but I just feel a few steps behind my peers. They are all acting on their life plans or getting out and being social or enjoying new relationships. And I'm perfectly fine taking things at my own pace and growing in my own way but I just don't fit in really. I genuinely feel like I'll hit my stride in my mid twenties or older. Not because I'll have more qualifications or be high up in a career, I just feel like that is when I'll really start knowing and feeling like myself. That's the age when people generally start to figure things out. Basically, I like it here because I feel like I'm in a more similar life state. my focus is on getting through the day and making my own steps. I'm fine as long as I'm growing even if I'm burnt out lmao. Healing for over a decade drains you and I feel like my mental capacity is so small at the moment because of it. Like. I can't pick up a book or a new hobby or a job whatever because ALL of my bodily, mental, spiritual, emotional energies are going into mending and stuff. I feel like a 29 year old preschooler lol. 5 o'clock shadow and a sippy cup. haha. I like it here because it's like easy mode. it's like a holiday for your brain.

I'm honestly not sure what the point I started off with was. I have sooo many thoughts swirling in my head. At the end of the day I feel so burnt out and like I said, with such a small bandwidth that I feel like even regressing or dreaming or even just thinking about it is too much. Like. I used to cope and regulate by imagining scenarios in my head, like fanfics in my brain when I needed a little comfort but now I just can't! I can't imagine myself with a dream job or in a fantasy world or kissing someone cute, I just don't have it in me. It's not like I'm super low or anything, I'm actually generally pretty stable at the moment. I think what I want right now is to not feel alone. I don't want a relationship per se, not sure if it'd be fair to start something with someone but having a nice social circle would be a big relief. I can't remember ever really... having that. I guess I'm esoteric, with a full plate. I had a nice group of friends in college for about 2 years but thats dead now, we got on each others nerves at the end. But it was nice while it lasted. Imaging having a caregiver or being one is one of the only ways I can barely scratch that itch of wanting to rely on someone. Like. It's so deep at the moment, wanting comfort and all that, that "normal" soloutions to that just don't hit hard enough. Like I could imagine having a really nice friend group but irl I would need to be in a healthy friendship for quite a while before it started fulfilling that need, so imagining someone coddling me like I am a child, like I am something to be cherished, not just valued but cherished, that hits harder. thats nicer to think about. also also also co regulation + company is something i really desire.

I feel like I am so entwined with this community, more than anything else these days. It's sort of got a grip on me. and i dont know how i feel about that. none of you guys know me. i have mutuals, nice mutuals and people who are in my notes but none of you actually know me. i think maybe this place is more of a fantasy than a reality for me. and that tells me i need to distance myself but what else do i have?

I've tried taking a break before, you might remember, it only ended up being a few months but it was nice to come back.

right thats basically it. I assume if you've made it this far, seeing as I'm not even writing to anyone I'm just emptying my brain, I assume you're a very curious person. Someone who likes to feel involved. Like meeee. If anyone has any advice or sage wisdom or anything you want to say at all, please go ahead. This post is basically a bunch of thoughts with little resolve. This isn't really something I want to bring up with my therapist because onneee, I'm embarrassed, twwwooo she has most likely no idea of what age regression this, in this context. like. the age regression they talk about in regard to mental and psychological contexts, its pretty different to all this. anyway. i have other things in therapy to talk about lol maybe one day ill bring up that i feel like a small child in certain situations but let her lead that conversation. ah so.

yeah like. yeah. hi. if this resonates, im glad you found that. yeah. yeahhh i dont know. i have a lot of stuff going on. nothing in my life is straight forward. hence the... want to simplify things. I'm really tired now, wow!

to conclude, I'm a baby not necessarily a regessor. I'm running on fumes. i have a weird relationship with agere and im very hot and cold about it. goo goo ga ga but also i want to be respected and seen as a capable adult. i need a hobby. i need to rest but blehhhhh.

Here's a puppy as a treat for reading it all

[bratshaws]

through the hourglass 125. brb x oc

a/n: are you guys ready for the Nicole content next chapter? Good, so am I . reblogs and comments are super encouraged <3333

pairing: plus size!oc x rooster

warnings: none.

goodness gracious (pls read this one to know more what this fic is about!!)

chapter

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/70/71/72/73/74/75/76/77/78/79/80/81/82/83/84/85/86/87/88

/89/90/91/92/93/94/95/96/97/98/99/100/101/102/103/104/105

/106/107/108/109/110/111/112/113/114/115/116/117/118/119/120/121

/122/123/124

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-

They had expected seeing one baby, one baby was the common thought right? Then why were there two?

Beatrice looked at the screen with her eyes wide, Rooster did the same but he was much closer, squinting his eyes, then looking back at her with his mouth wide open, “....th-there’s two of them Bea.” he whispers, “Two.”

‘I-I know.”

“So far they look fine.” the lady says, breaking the absolute surprise that filled the room, ‘They seem to be growing well and there’s nothing out of the ordinary, but it is only one month and twin pregnancies can be a bit more complicated…so I’d like you to return in sixteen weeks for another checkup.”

Beatrice blinked at the woman, snapping out of her shock, “I…o-okay.”

“Good!” she wipes Beatrice’s stomach and then stands up, “I’ll be right back, you can sit up if you want, but don’t leave.”

It’s possible neither of them could move even if they wanted to. 

Nicole babbled happily, oblivious to her parents’ silent surprise and the way they were just gobsmacked by the sudden discovery. Rooster puts a hand on his forehead, blinking hard and then smiling, “Holy shit we are going to have twins!” he laughs, “Twins! Two! Two babies!” 

Nicole squeals happily when her father raises her over his head, bouncing her in his hands and laughing alongside her, “Baby girl you’ll be the old sister to twins! Twins!” he says, but he’s confused when he doesn’t hear Beatrice’s celebration. He looks back to where his wife was, seeing she was staring at her knees,clenching the edge of the bed so hard her knuckles turned white, “Bea?”

No response but he could see her mouth moving and her eyebrows furrowing.

“Gorgeous.” he tries again, this time getting closer to her. He hears her mumbling something, something that weirdly sounded like ‘oh God’ “Bea, look at me.”

It took some time for her to look up, but she looked terrified, “...twins…” she whispers,” How-how did I not notice they’d be twins?”

“What?”

“T-Twins change the mother’s belly, makes it bigger,” she lifts her shirt up and frowns, “How did I not see it? I-I should’ve seen it.”

He is confused because of her reaction, she seemed happy and worried at the same time, “Baby…what’s wrong?”

“I…I should’ve noticed it,so I could,I could prepare!” 

‘What are you talking about?”

“My family has a lot of twins and triplets,I should’ve thought this could happen…and now,now I have twins too and- and I’m scared because…because I don’t know…I don’t know if I’ll do good.”

Bradley huffs a soft laugh,sitting next to Beatrice with Nicole playing with her monkey - even showing it to her mother in hopes it’d cheer her up - “Hey, do you see this one?” he lifts their daughter a bit, that gummy smile melting Beatrice’s heart and making her face relax, “She looks great to me.”

‘I know…”

“Then why are you freaking out?”

Beatrice sighs, dropping her head to look down at her thighs, sliding her hands on top to squeeze them tightly, “I just…I don’t know,Roos. I want to do well,I really do…but I just,I don’t know. What if I mess up, it’s twins. Like…two babies instead of one.”

Bradley furrows his brows, then arches one higher than the other, “Baby, we can manage it.”

“I…I know,I guess I’m overwhelmed right now.I’m really happy,I am Roos.I swear.” he knew she was, but her nerves were acting louder than her happiness was, so it was making Beatrice anxiety act up, “I just…wow…twins. We might uh,we might need to fix one of the guest bedrooms for them.”

“I think so.” he smiles, “Any idea what you’ll paint on the walls?”

She laughs softly, looking up at him, ‘Not yet, give me a few days to think about it…okay?”

“Okay.” he didn’t know what she meant when she said she should’ve known, there was no way she should’ve known before going to the clinic. He knows it was the excitement mixed in with the surprise that made Beatrice act like she was doing right now and he understood that completely, but he didn’t want her to think there was some way  she’d find out she was carrying twins.

…damn,they were going to have twins.

He breathed out a laugh, holding Nicole to his chest and shaking his head, “Fuck,Mav was right.”

“Huh?”

“Remember when I told you, back when we didn’t know Nikki was Nikki, that he thought you’d have twins?”

“Oh…I completely forgot about that.”

“Yep…God he’s going to be so smug when he finds out.”

Beatrice lets out a soft laugh again, this time she feels a bit better. It’s crazy to think that now there are two babies inside of her,growing slowly, one besides the other…she really is going to give birth to twins.

They’ll have three kids before either turn forty.

If her count is right.

“We need to keep it a secret still,Brad.” she says, sighing quietly, “We can’t share this with anyone until I reach the third month mark. For safety…like she said a twins pregnancy is…delicate and I’d need to keep an eye on them until it was time.”

Them.

Beatrice rubs her stomach gently and Nicole notices it, her curious little mind just tells her to repeat the movement, touching her mother’s tummy with a soft gurgle, looking up at her with her eyes shining and a gentle ‘Aaa’ leaving her lips. Beatrice’s hormonal fluctuation was only making her even more emotional, she couldn’t help but sniffle at that gentle touch, touching Nicole’s cheek with her free hand, “Yeah,I know Nikki.”

“Aaa!’

“Hmhm,I know.” and she kisses her forehead. Beatrice sighs again, leaning her head on Rooster’s shoulder and whispering, “We need to go to Mr.Scoops once we get out of here.”

“Deal.”

-

She was so happy to have ice cream in the middle of Winter. Which in San Diego didn’t mean much, honestly she just wanted to relax and have a good time with her family. Nicole still couldn’t have ice cream but that didn’t mean she didn’t want to. She was leaning back against Rooster as her parents ate their respective bowls,”Man…does this bring back memories.” his voice makes Beatrice blink,spoon still in her mouth, savoring the Christmas Cookies flavor spreading on her tongue.

Rooster smirks, looking at Nikki then back at Bea, “Our first date…remember?” he just looks so happy as he says so, “We watched the Alien trilogy then went out for ice cream…and we kissed, for the very first time.” and she blushed just like she was doing now back then, her smile shy and eyes dropping to her bowl. “You know, it was amazing.”

“It was.”

“Not only because I was really into you.” he begins, crunching a piece of hazelnut between his teeth, “But because I had a lot of fun…with you. And you,I don’t know, you just made me fall in love even more.”

“Brad…”

“I guess that was the moment my brain went,” he snaps his fingers mid sentence, the sound making Nicole look up at her father’s hand,”I’m going to marry this woman, for sure, without a single doubt…I just didn’t want to admit it yet.”

“Too soon to think about,huh?”

“Yeah,I hadn’t even met your family either.”

“And then I just…took you to meet everyone.” she laughs nervously, moving the spoon inside the melted part of her ice cream, “God I was so scared.”

“It went well,I mean,look at us now.”

Beatrice smiles back at him, sighing as she leans back against her seat, looking out the window from the second floor, watching the palm trees in the distance move wildly because of the strong wind, “...yeah,” she says, ‘Look at us now. Can you believe it? We’ll have three kids.”

“Before we get to our second anniversary.” he smirks, ‘I mean,I don’t mind it. I love that, I think it’s great.”

“The more the merrier,huh?”

“As long it’s safe for you.” he adds, his eyes softening, “I’d never want you to pop ‘em out so often…which is why we need to take care after the salt and pepper duo is born.” she loved how he was already giving them nicknames before he could even see them straight,”We’ll be okay…I can handle myself.” she chuckles, holding her head up and arching her eyebrow, “Hey,I can.”

“No you can’t.”

“Yes,I can,come on.”

“If you did, would we have gone to have the ultrasound six months after our daughter was born?” his mouth opens, then closes, then opens again only for Nicole to babble happily, focused on the colorful spoon by her side as her father tried to find words, “See?”

“Okay…maybe so.” she arches her brow higher, “Listen…you are beautiful,can you blame me? Can you really?”

“I mean I think you are absolutely handsome and I can control myself a bit more.”

“Not that often.” he smirks, “You know that.”

Beatrice playfully kicks him under the table, making him wince but laugh quietly, with Nicole joining in because why wouldn’t she. The two of them laugh like two teenagers and Beatrice licks her lips, “...well, you know…we are doing good for two people who didn’t have their shit together a few years back.”

“I agree.”

“You did have your shit together,I was talking about me,Roos.”

“Stop.”

She laughs again, sighing as she taps the spoon on the side of her bowl, “...Did you ever think about that,” he hums in question, “That you’d have…three kids so quickly?”

“Honestly,I’ve always wanted a big family, you know that…three kids is more than fine to me.” he smirks, his smirk however slowly disappears, “My mom used to joke about it.”

“Hm?”

‘She used to tease me about kids, when I was younger. Like…around seventeen or something, a few years before she passed. She used to say she wanted to hear the little feet on her floor during the Holidays.” he laughs almost painfully, “She'd go crazy,if she was here.’

Beatrice smiles sweetly, reaching for his hand across the table and bringing it to her lips to kiss his wedding ring,much like he did to her, and placing his palm on her cheek, “She’s watching all this with a smile,I’m sure.”

“I hope so.”

“You’ve been thinking about her,lately?”

He sighs with a grin, dropping his head forward only to lift it up again,”Yeah…I’ve been thinking about both of them,honestly. We’ll be going to Virginia in…a few days and I just want Nicole to have a good first time there,” he smiles down at his daughter,”She’s going to see snow for the first time…wear really thick clothes that make you want to stop walking and just fall flat on the ground because how can anyone move in those.” he kisses her head, “And thinking…about life.”

“What do you mean?”

He chews the corner of his mouth, dropping his hand from Bea’s cheek and then tapping his finger on the table,’I just am thankful.” he whispers, ‘That I can see all this…in my line of work…it’s amazing.” he looks down at Nicole, watching as she noms on her monkey with her eyes turned to the window, “I don’t know,I’m just feeling a lot of things.”

Beatrice smiles,”I know.” she says, holding her chin up by her interlaced hands, “I know you are…and it’s okay. You should allow yourself to feel,Roos.” she blinks, “Oh, before I forget,I need to write some notes down so we can get things before we go home.”

“True, that’s okay.”

He lets Beatrice type away on her phone, his eyes locked on the same direction Nicole was looking at, focusing at the wind and how everything seemed to move in slow motion.

Maybe now the euphoria of being a father again was finally simmering, maybe now he could say that it was real and it was going to happen. He was happy, he was overjoyed…he really was living the life he always wanted, the life his mother envisioned for him when he was younger.

A nice job, even if it’s not the one she desired.

A lovely wife who gets lovelier as the years go by and kids. Three kids now, with the oldest one being the smartest, cutest little girl he had ever met. He smiles down at Nicole, her pigtails moving as she turns her head to follow a bird that flew past the window, all the while chewing her little monkey.

He didn’t want to miss any second of her life, of their lives. He knew that after the holidays…something could happen, he could be called and he had to go…so he was going to enjoy these days the best he could, now even more knowing there are two babies growing inside of Beatrice instead of one.

“There.” she smiles, “Finished,made a little list.”

“That’s good,gorgeous.” he says back, returning to his now melted Cold Cocoa ice cream, being able to save one lone marshmallow and plopping it into his mouth as he adjusts himself on the seat, seeing she was still looking at her phone, “What?’

“Evelyn messaged me, she’s asking me to come over for a bit.”

“Really?”

“She said you can come too, she doesn’t mind.” Bea hesitates, “...I don’t know if I should accept,I mean…we…we just found out we’ll have twins.” she frowns, “But if I say no…she might be suspicious.”

“Or she might understand, Evelyn is like that.”

Beatrice tsks, “I guess…but she said it’s important,Roos.” she looks up at him with her brows low, “Maybe we can stay a little bit.” she shrugs, “Just to see what she wants, right?” 

“Bea…is that a good idea?” he asks with his brows furrowed, “I mean, you just said why it wouldn’t be wise.”

“It’d be just for a little while, just to see what she wants.” Beatrice says, trying to swallow the anxiety, “Then we’ll go home and everything will be great.” she repeats the words in her mind, nodding to herself, “Just great.”

[meraki-yao]

So, this fandom we're in is kinda on the smaller side, not like Heartstopper, which is a whole different level of drama. But you know, each bit of drama we get here stays kinda contained; it doesn't really blow up and go all mainstream.

What I've noticed is most of the fans are way younger than the actors, and that makes their social media vibe totally different. Like, they expect Taylor and Nick to act the same way, thinking a follow or a like means something major. But, I'm a bit older than Nick, and we're from the same generation. We didn't overshare like they do, but now fans expect him to be all out there. He's not 22 anymore. And the mental health convo around him it's another topic I feel most fans didn't really understand. Yeah, he's open about it, but the way he deals with anxiety or depression now is not the same as everyone else. Feels like they're kinda babying him a bit. Case in point, the GQ event he left early. He did look a bit nervous, but trying to ease their minds with an explanation of why he left early (because "he was anxious") didn't sit right with me. Because it's a possibility, but we don't know how he actually feels. Like, he might've been in a rush, or it was a last-minute attendance thing because he has commitments with Fendi, and he just left. Like, he's not really an open book, even if he's easy to read. So trying to use his own mental health felt wrong in that situation.

Honestly, it's pretty simple—they've changed. They're keeping things more private, maybe it's got something to do with management, but I don't think it's a rebrand. I'm with you on that one.

Both Taylor and Nick blew up, got people interested in them, and that's crazy overwhelming to see from the outside. Like, imagine people digging into your private life, asking you to spill all the tea, and giving explanations when you really don't have to. It's just exhausting. Case in point, some fans got "upset" (and I'm using quotes because it was mostly jokes, but their humor crosses a lot of lines) 'cause Nick has to promote other stuff and, if he doesn't attend events, he's letting them down. Some folks tried to tell them it's not on Nick, it's Amazon they should be mad at. But no, that group just shrugs that off. Just 'cause Nick's humor is dark, silly and sarcastic doesn't mean they can do the same in such an invasive way.

I follow a couple of girls on TW who've been following Nick for ages, and they say he usually takes these long breaks from social media, then drops a bunch of pics or covers. I think he's trying to find some balance.

Overall, most of the drama happens 'cause some people lack common sense, real-life experience, and there's this big age gap between the actors, the author, and the fandom. Just the way it is, I guess.

I'm not entirely sure about the comment on the age range because the mutual I interact with are pretty much well into their adulthood, but at least I belong to the category you mentioned: I'm about ten years younger than Nick lmao

But like overall, I agree with what you said. We're not them. We don't actually know them. And aside from the obvious ones like they will be upset to some degree if they see insults thrown at them, I'm starting to think it's problematic to presume we know what they think. I had this from another ask that said "I think people diminish what the boys are doing, and pit them against each other because neither is doing what they want." And I think that rings true.

Parasocial relationships are weird man.