#vs me reading with my own two eyes the kind of comments some relatives make about this baby

[misskamelie]

Having a cousin with a newborn child really makes you realize how out of touch you are with societal expectations

[peppersonironi]

Duke Thomas VS The "Good Child" Stereotype Chapter 2

Next chapter for my Duke Thomas Big Bang fic is up!

(Once again, a hearty thank you to my betas @queerbutstillhereand @theycallme-ook)

Read On Ao3

It was four am on a Friday morning, a week after Duke had decided he’d had enough of Bruce’s - and the other’s - incorrect opinion of him.

It was so early in the morning, that the main group of bats had been trickling back from patrol over the past hour or so. Stephanie and Cassandra had arrived first, followed by Jason ten minutes later. Then Tim had gotten back from his route with Harper, and Kate and Bette had stopped by for a bit (but eventually left for their own homes). Dick came home next, and Bruce had returned last with Damian.

Everyone was in varying states of winding down, with Stephanie at one end of the spectrum wearing silk pajamas, a fluffy robe which Duke was sixty-seven percent sure was Bruce’s, and bright pink bunny slippers Duke was positive were Dick’s. On the other side, Bruce hadn’t even pulled off his cowl, and was sitting down in front of the Batcomputer to work on a case.

Though Duke thought that Tim deserved his own category, dressed in a strange combination of disco track suit and kevlar body armor, and was hunched over three cans of energy drinks and a quart jug filled with espresso shots.

Duke leaned down to double check that his boots were laced up - one time he hadn’t, and had then proceeded to trip and fall into a garbage pile. Not. Fun.

He looked up, however, when Bruce clicked open a case file. So did everyone else, as if drawn by some invisible force.

They all clearly saw as Bruce hovered his mouse over a link which had been typed in sometime while the big bat had been away. The only hint to what it could be was the note reading “New Evidence.”

Bruce grunted in what for anyone else would be an exclamation of curiosity and went to click the link.

Which clearly went to YouTube.

In unison, all the bats’ eyes widened in realization. You see, in a family such as this one, pranks abounded. So they all had painstakingly memorized that series of letters and numbers.

They all knew what it meant.

Suddenly, the Batcave lit up with the dancing form of one Rick Astley. It was everywhere. On the several large monitors that made up the Batcomputer. The various screens spread across the caves. Everyone’s phones somehow were affected. As well as the X-Ray machine in the med bay, which was showing a skeleton dancing.

Bruce jumped up, rage full on his face. “Who did this? Make it stop!”

No one answered, all too frozen in shock at what had happened.

“Who…” Dick whispered from beside Jason, “Who would be that brave?”

“Yeah,” Jason whispered back, “Rick Rolls were banned at the 2015 family reunion after you played it two hundred and thirteen times in a row.”

Dick grinned, “those were good times.”

The two eldest boys began to bicker, Jason complaining that Rick Rolls were a part of the war crimes banned by the Geneva Convention, and Dick saying he “liked it: so there.”

Meanwhile, the song was reaching the chorus, and the other bats finally began to react. The three girls were dancing on top of exercise equipment, popping bottles of sparkling cider - or was that champagne? For their own sakes, they should hope it’s the former - they had pulled out of what seemed to be thin air.

Damian was in the corner, trying to get Titus to dance to the music - though he glanced around every so often to make sure that no one was noticing his moment of fun.

Tim was still nursing his collection of drinks like an alcoholic nursed a bottle.

Bruce was practically foaming at the mouth by that point.

“This is NOT FUNNY!”

That, of course, made everyone just start laughing harder. In the corner, Steph started to do the macarena completely off-tempo from the music. Cass seemed to be chugging the cider that Harper was pouring into her mouth.

Just then the holographic training simulations lit up, and Rick Astly began making his way across the cave, dancing all the way.

Bruce glared up at the semi transparent form of the singer, as if trying to force him into submission.

“T-pose to assert dominance!” Jason called, cupping his hands around his mouth.

“Yeah, that’ll totally work, B! Trust us!” Dick called as well.

Bruce took a moment to turn his head and glare at the two former Robins, who only smiled like the angels they clearly thought they were.

The image was not aided by the two giant stuffed swordfish just pulled from Jason’s utility belt.

“En guarde!” He cried, and tossed the one in his left hand at Damian, who had been trying to reassure his dog that the giant man wasn’t real.

The thirteen year old screeched, but caught the four foot long fish by its fin.

“This is animal abuse!” He cried.

“It’s not abuse if it’s dead!” Jason countered, and attacked the youngest bat with a passion.

As the duel progressed, Cassandra tried to raise her hand and gurgle out a bet on who would win, but began to choke on the liquid.

Harper cursed as she tossed away the sixth bottle of cider and tried to give Cass the heimlich maneuver.

Dick, meanwhile, pressed a button on one of the many consoles spread around the cave, and several stripper poles came out of hidden storage via hydraulics. He grabbed the nearest one, and began to dance.

“I THOUGHT I DISABLED THOSE?!” Bruce bellowed, as Dick began a twirl.

Stephanie, however, didn’t seem nearly as dismayed at the sight of the poles. She herself smacked a button next to her, and several disco balls dropped down from among the stalactites to join the fun. She then began to morph her macarena into an epic macarena. A few flips here, and a few pantomiming choking your enemies there. And a whole lot of randomly throwing glitter bombs at, well, everywhere.

But especially at the nearest authority figure.

Damian tripped over a bucket during his fight - apparently left over from Alfred’s earlier cleaning spree - and the soapy liquid spilled across the floor.

But, of course, them being the bats, Alfred didn’t use normal soap.

Huge bubbles began to farm from the liquid, the longest almost three feet in diameter, and rise up to the cave’s ceiling. The suds spread around, eagerly began to mingle with Stephanie’s glitter.

A solitary bubble, relatively small, floated over to Bruce’s head, and popped on one of his cowl’s ears. He was not amused.

*****

Five minutes later, everyone was lined up next to the Batcomputer with heads bowed in either shame or disappointment.

Bruce walked up and down the row, the perfect imitation of a drill sergeant. His glare matched as well.

“This is an outrageous breach of protocol,” he was saying, “the Batcomputer is not a toy, nor something to use for your own amusement. It is a serious tool-”

“Then why’s it called the Batcomputer?”

Bruce froze and whirled on Dick, who had chosen that inopportune moment to speak up.

“Because you were nine years old and saying no to you would have gotten me a meltdown.”

“It seems to me, Bossman,” Stephanie began, tenting her fingers in an attempt to act serious (the effect was strange combined with her bathrobe and slippers) “That you are perfectly happy to let Dick get away with things. But in this situation, with women present, you are strangely cold. This shows blatant sexism on your part and in this essay I will-”

“That’s enough, Stephanie.” Bruce cut off as a round of snorts and giggle erupted from the group of bats.

“You do realise that no one here is going to speak, right?” Jason asked, “You did teach us to resist torture. And - pardon my french, Alfred - but you are no fucking way close to the level of torture I’ve gone through. Namely waking up to Batcow sitting on top of me.”

“Are you commenting on her weight?” Damian demanded, glaring daggers at Jason.

“I said no such thing.”

“ Boys .” Bruce demanded, rubbing his temples. “Jason is right - not about Batcow’s weight - but I’m not going to get any of you to talk willingly.” He paused and made eye contact with every single bat present, trying to reach into their souls.

“Therefore,” he continued slowly, “I’m giving you one last chance. Otherwise: No one gets cookies from Alfred for two months. ”

The shock was immediate. Alfred’s cookies, of all kinds, were worth more than gold in the Manor. The ability to not have them? And for two months? Bruce truly was a cruel hearted tyrant if he was willing to go to such lengths.

Duke gulped.

“Fine, then.” Bruce said simply when no one answered. “I guess we’ll just have to check the security footage of the Cave.”

Why didn’t Bruce think of that earlier? He clearly wasn’t trying to give the kids an easy way out.

Bruce stalked over to the computer and began to furiously type at the keys, pulling up the footage for the past few days. The group watched in a tense silence as Bruce rifled through the multiple recordings, searching for the culprit.

“AHA!” Bruce grunted, upon finding a specific time stamp. There was a figure emerging from the shadows. He paused and then slowed down the video so they could all see who it was.

There were several gasps as the figure came into the light, looked around, and made his way to the computer. They had shown their face, not even bothering to hide.

Everyone whirled to Duke, then back to the screen.

“No way,” Harper whispered under her breath.

Because the person on the footage, who was now adding the link to the case file and hooking up bluetooth speakers, was Duke Thomas himself.

Bruce’s eye twitched.

There was a general consensus among the resident vigilantes in the cave at that time: Duke wasn’t going to live to tell the tale.

Duke felt uneasy under their scrutiny, unsure of what to do. This was his plan, after all. To be seen differently. But so far the lack of accusations or uproarious debate was disconcerting.

He looked up at Bruce, awaiting his reaction. Bruce didn’t meet Duke’s eyes.

“Hrn,” he grumbled angrily instead and whirled on Tim. Said teenager was barely standing up straight - well, he was leaning on Steph heavily - and blinked wearily around the cave. He didn’t seem to understand what was going on.

Bruce’s eyes narrowed for a long moment before he whipped around and furiously began to mess with the playback settings on the footage. Everyone stood still, not daring to move while Bruce grumbled under his breath.

Finally Bruce straightened and pointed dramatically toward the screen.

“There,” he grunted out, and everyone subconsciously leaned a little bit forward.

They didn’t see anything different from before, though Bruce’s finger did bring their attention to one of the bats that flew across the upper left hand corner. A few seconds of footage later, and yet another bat flew across in a similar pattern. Not exactly the same, so it wasn’t really out of the ordinary. Lord knows the bats would randomly fly out and into their hair much more than necessary.

“Note how the figure is disturbed when each bat flies across the screen,” Bruce said in the same voice he used when talking about a case - cold, impersonal, and yet like he was giving a college lecture.

No one spoke, not really sure what to say. I mean, what was the correct course of action when your father figure suddenly refuses to accept reality, and is grasping at the most unlikely of straws?

“I know this technique anywhere,” Bruce said more to himself than the line of vigilantes. He turned, completely passing over Duke, and set his sights on Tim.

“Timothy Jackson Drake,” Bruce growled, stalking forward, “What possessed you to doctor this footage?”

Tim didn’t respond, only mumbled incoherently and leaned onto Steph some more.

Bruce was furious, bearing his teeth as he spat out his response: “Now is not the time to use the anti-torture training I’ve given you.”

Tim nodded slowly and draped his arm on top of Stephanie’s head.

“You should know better than this,” Bruce began, “pranks are strictly forbidden in the cave, as you very well know. And in addition, I taught you better at framing than this. You choose a victim that could actually be considered as a suspect. Trying to pin the blame on Duke was your undoing - he would never do something like this.”

Duke cringed slightly, as the rest of the bats glanced Duke’s way. All were a mix of confusion and awe.

This … was not how this was supposed to go. No, screw that. That was an outrageous understatement. Things ‘not going according to plan’ would have been Jason randomly blaming Harper for the mess on no grounds - or maybe Bruce not bothering to check the cameras, opting instead to just ground everyone.

But blatantly ignoring evidence and then lecturing someone completely unrelated? No, this was too much. It couldn’t be real. This was some kind of scare-tactic wasn’t it? Duke was too much of an adrenaline junkie to be bothered by the usual ‘hanging upside down over a busy road’ schtick.

But then Bruce moves on to possible culprits Tim could have chosen instead - did he seriously think that Ra’s Al Ghul would Rick Roll them?! - and Duke lost hope.

“Uhh, Bruce?” Duke asked after the ten minute mark.

The Dark Knight turned and faced Duke.

Duke scratched the back of his neck. “Do you think I could head out for patrol now? It’s getting light out, and since you’ve clearly got this covered… I thought I could scoot out?”

Bruce was nodding before the end of Duke’s request. “Yes, go. I’ll deal with Tim. You don’t need to worry - you won’t be blamed. It clearly wasn’t your fault.”

Duke nodded slowly, and covered his disappointment with a small smirk. “Thanks, B.”

He jogged over to the edge of the platform and dropped down beside his Signal-Cycle. A routine mounting, a quick putting on of his helmet, and he was off.

Duke was scowling as he left, wondering what on earth had gone wrong.

*****

“Did you see that smirk?”

“Oh, yeah.”

“Did he blame Tim on purpose?”

“How, though? To make such a tactical move -”

“It would have taken a shit ton of planning.”

“Can we get back on the fact that Bruce was fooled?”

“Or who fooled him?!”

[goneseriesanalysis]

Diana Ladris

Ok so here is my Diana analysis, finally. I was going to write this on Monday but now it’s Sunday and I honestly have no idea what I’ve done all week. Quick disclaimer that I am in love with Diana, so this is probably not the most objective analysis you will ever read. Please feel free to share your own thoughts and opinions on her. I would love to hear them!!

Spoilers for Gone down below

Original Opinion: I loved Diana. Snarky, dark-haired girls in fiction are the loves of my life. But didn’t remember much else about her personality other than that.

New Opinion: I still love her. She has such a complicated personality and I just want her to be happy.

1.) Diana’s Appearance:

Diana is another character that is described pretty poorly in the first book. We get no indication of her ethnicity or body type – but that seems to be pretty common for characters in this book. There are three main descriptions of Diana here, two from Sam in chapter 14 and one from Jack in chapter 40. And by main, I mean we get the slightest bit of information other than ‘she’s beautiful.’

The first time Sam sees Diana he describes her as a “dark-eyed, very beautiful girl.” In the first book Diana and Astrid are sort of made out to be binary opposites, much in the same way that Sam and Caine are. Astrid is light and fair, referencing her innocence and general ‘goodness’, whereas Diana is depicted a being darker, in both looks and personality, and is therefore much more morally ambiguous. I think this is perfectly fine for the first book, as none of the characters are thoroughly developed and so the stereotypical light = good and dark = bad isn’t too off-putting – especially seen as these two characters in particular definitely do evolve past these roles in later books. In fact, I think giving such as basic starting point for these characters actually works in Michael’s favour as it allows us as a reader to look back retrospectively and truly appreciate how much they have grown.

The parallel to Astrid doesn’t stop there either. The next line of description we are given of Diana so strongly reminds me of the second description we are given of Astrid, that it seems almost criminal not to do a side-by-side comparison:

“Her midnight eyes met his and he wanted to look away, feeling awkward, but somehow could not.” – Chapter 14 (referring to Diana)

Astrid looked right at him. He couldn’t look away like he normally would, because her gaze wasn’t challenging, sceptical like it usually was: it was scared. Her normally sharp, discerning blue eyes were wide, with way too much white showing” – Chapter 1 (referring to Astrid)

Not only do we get another light vs dark comparison, but Sam’s immediate reaction to them both is extremely similar. I’m not really sure what to make of this, although I’m 100% convinced that Michael did it on purpose. Was there originally going to be a love triangle, with Sam having such similar reactions to them both?? Was this meant to be a comment on Sam’s character and his reaction to the women around him?? Or was it meant to be a hint at Diana’s morality, showing that Sam saw something in her that she couldn’t at the time see in herself, something that reminded him of Astrid?? I’m not sure, but either way I love it and I would really like some other people’s opinions on it.

So, the last description that gives us any actual information on Diana’s appearance is from Jack’s POV in chapter 40, “He could see the outline of her face, her dark hair.” (Do you see how far I had to dig for literally anything!?!? Come on Michael.) Again, we have the dark hair further establishing her and Astrid as binary opposites. We also get the idea in chapter 36 that her hair is relatively long as Drake mentions it falling on his face when she talks to him. But yeah, this is all we get in terms of Diana’s appearance. It’s a little disappointing that she seems to be heavily sexualised but then again a lot of her character’s actions, especially in this book, are based on other people’s attraction towards her so it’s a tricky one to talk about. I think the main reason we get so little description is because of the lack of Caine POV’s, and as Diana’s main love interest Michael probably wanted him to give the more detailed descriptions of her as opposed to the two boys who get the most POV time in this book (Sam and Drake).

2.) Diana’s Personality:

I’ve split Diana’s personality into three categories in an attempt to make my thoughts more cohesive. From what I could gather in this book we see:

The snarky, slightly cruel side of Diana – this is the side of her that she projects most often and it seems to be the reason Caine “loves” her

The falsely kind and caring side of Diana – this is the side of her that we see most often with Jack, and sometimes with Caine. It is the tactic she uses to manipulate people

Diana’s actual personality – This is part of Diana that is so well hidden that she can’t even see it herself. While it is mostly only hinted at within this book (which I will talk about in Diana’s Morality), there is a scene where I truly think we see her raw, unfiltered personality.

So, I’ll start by talking about her snarky personality. I believe this side of Diana is mainly there to be a defence mechanism. She doesn’t like to show weakness, but cannot physically protect herself in a school where everyone is a bully. Or in a house where her mother’s boyfriends sneak up on her in the shower with no consequences. Or in a classroom where her science teacher tries to feel her up. So instead she tries to take people down with words. She makes them feel inferior by insulting them in clever ways, by poking fun at their insecurities (a tactic reminiscent of Astrid using her intelligence as a weapon). And I think after a while of doing this, it just became a part of her. She seems to enjoy making people uncomfortable. She definitely enjoys the effect she has on Jack and Caine, and seems to find Drake’s reactions to her quips amusing.

In chapter 20, when Caine is discovering that he and Sam are brothers, her first reaction is to embarrass him, “She stared at it [Sam’s birth certificate] and started laughing.” After seeing Caine turn pale, clearly having a hard time coping with this realisation, she continues with her method of attack “November twenty-second,’ Diana said, grinning spitefully.” She seems to have no sympathy for Caine or his emotional reaction to finding out that the people who he thought were his parents were… well, not. (I find this particularly interesting as not a page earlier she was teasing Drake for enjoying other people’s pain.) It seems like Diana enjoys the power that comes with being cruel. For quite a large portion of her life, people have tried to make her feel powerless, like an object whose sole purpose is for their gratification. And so Diana likes it when it’s the other way around. She likes making weak people feeling weaker and more vulnerable (such as Jack), and she especially enjoys poking fun at those with more power. By teasing Drake and Caine, she is subverting the narrative that has been fed to her all her life by the adults who have let her down. She is no longer there for their amusement. Instead, they are there for hers.

This idea of Diana kind of revelling in their pain, especially Caine’s, is continued in chapter 39, with this scene, “Too bad Dr Phil’s not around. You could tell him all about it.” This is said in response to Caine opening up about feeling neglected by his adoptive parents, and is an excellent example of Diana’s mean streak. The comment itself is not horrible, Diana rarely says things that are truly cruel, but the way she so easily dismisses and ridicules his feelings, knowing that she is probably the first person he has ever spoken to about this, is really telling. I think she feels that if she gives Caine the emotional support that is so clearly craving here, that she is giving up control. The only control she has over Caine is through the manipulation of his feelings, so she is cruel and distant and untouchable 99% of the time. She will give him hints of affection, slight touches of it here and there, but never enough of it to feel like he has won. She still always retains this small line of defence (which really makes Lies and Plague a whole lot sadder for me).

Next we have what I like to call her false kindness. This refers to those small hints of affection that she gives to people in order to control them, to make her snarky persona more effective. We first see this in chapter 20, when after teasing Caine about his relation to Sam, “she was playing nice, as close to sympathetic as she ever managed to be.” Diana is very skilled at knowing when to attack and when to be sympathetic. She will tease those around her, making them feel small and inferior, and then offer her kindness. This way people will be less likely to try and hurt her. They all want the same thing from her, whether it be Caine, her science teacher or her mother’s boyfriends with their lust or whether it be Drake with his sick ways. They all want her to be theirs. Theirs to have or theirs to use or theirs to hurt. It’s awful and it makes me want to sit down and cry or else hug her or else smack any boy who’s ever looked at her. But she can stop them from forcefully taking away her autonomy (with the exception of Drake) by offering them the possibility that she may give it up freely. And so we see this side of her. The second aspect of her elaborate defence.

This method of manipulation seems to be most effective with Jack, at least in this book. Now, I don’t think that Jack wants Diana in the way that Caine does, and definitely NOT in the way that Drake does. He mentions that he thinks she’s beautiful, and I definitely think he likes her, but in a much more innocent way. He seems to want to impress her, but that’s all he seems to want. Her to be proud of him and impressed by him. And Diana, clever as she is, knows this. In chapter 29 Diana discovers Jack’s power, and her reaction to it is what first made me realise that it’s power that she wants after all:

“Are you asking me to protect you?’                                                                                                                     Jack saw a ray of hope in his personal darkness. ‘Yes. Yes.’                                                                           ‘Say it.’                                                                                                                                                                       ‘Please protect me.’                                                                                                                                         Diana’s eyes seemed to melt, from ice cold to almost warm. She smiled. ‘I’ll protect you, Jack. But here’s the thing. From now on you belong to me.”

Diana has spent a large portion of her life feeling powerless. Even with her extensive defence mechanism, there are still multiple times within this book where the illusion of power is stripped away, and we are left with a Diana that is just so scared. And so, to me, this scene seems to be Diana’s attempt to hold power over someone in a way that is not directly related to her sexuality. Her relationship with Jack is much purer in that sense. He doesn’t do what she says because he’s hoping for a relationship, but because he wants her to protect him. He wants her to be to him what she can’t even be to herself. And that’s so sad?? Because the reaction she has is almost sweet, she has a moment where I can truly feel like she appreciates Jack for the way in which he wants her. And she keeps her promise. She does protect him from Drake’s threats and Caine’s derision. Right up until the moment where she sends him off to Sam.

And finally, we have a small glimpse of what I believe to be Diana’s real personality. The side of her that we don’t really see much of yet. This is, I think, what we see in chapter 36, and there are three specific quotes that I think perfectly highlight it:

“You have the saw?’ Diana’s voice asked. Not smug now, not smug at all, but raw and horrified.” – Chapter 36

“I’ll do it, ‘Diana said, disgusted. ‘You’re all such big tough guys. Give me the saw.” – Chapter 36

“Ok,’ Diana said. ‘Hold onto him. I’ll be as quick as I can be.” – Chapter 36

Now, the first reason that leads me to believe that these are examples of Diana’s true personality and not just further examples of her false kindness, is that this scene is told from Drake’s POV – and Drake has never been fooled by her personas. We know that she is not smug, but raw and horrified. Of course, this could just be due to the horrific nature of the injury, but I personally think it’s more than that. We get the idea throughout the book that Diana goes along with Caine’s schemes, but she doesn’t necessarily agree with them. She seems to be ok up until the point where she can see the consequences of their actions, in which point she shows horror, disgust and remorse. And right now, she is seeing a pretty big consequence. Sam burned Drake’s arm because Drake cemented them, something that Diana was also a part of, something that she allowed to happen to other people. Looking at the state he is in now, I don’t think Diana is just horrified by his injury, she is also scared. But not of Sam, necessarily. Get ready for another comparison to Astrid here: I find it interesting that Astrid is religious, but believes that free will dictates actions and consequences – as opposed to some higher power. But Diana is seemingly the opposite. She is not religious, but seems to always be fearful of some higher power punishing her for her sins – and this is something that, if I remember correctly, features quite heavily in other books.

To contrast this fear, however, she also shows immense bravery here. She again uses her snarky persona to shock and belittle Drake into remaining still (telling him that he wet himself), and is the only one brave enough out of a room full of bullies to actually cut off his arm. This may in part be because she already knows that he plans to hurt her, and so she doesn’t really have anything to lose in that regard. But I think it also shows that underneath her defensive persona and underneath her fear of being powerless, she really is a good person who is immensely strong and capable. Her “goodness” is also shown for the first time in this scene, even if it is only a glimpse. The line “I’ll be as quick as I can be.” I honestly think is one of the strongest acts of compassion in this book. Drake has made it clear that he hates her. That he wants to hurt her. Hell, he literally threatens to kill her moments before this scene. And yet she refuses to take any joy in it. She refuses to sink down to his level and prolong his pain. Instead she chooses to try her best to make it stop. It’s such an underrated Diana moment. I love her so much :(

3.) Diana’s Morality:

 A large aspect of Diana’s character is her struggle with her morality, and we see the beginnings of this within this book. While she is always aligned with Caine here, she has small moments of doubt and remorse which nicely sets up her character arc in later books. Of course there are many reasons why one could argue that Diana, at least in the first book, is an immoral character. She stands by Caine through the cementing, his take-over of Perdido Beach, his attack on Sam and then leaves with him at the end of the book, despite being offered a place in Perdido Beach. She leaves Astrid with Drake, knowing what he’s capable of, and seems perfectly fine with Drake killing her and LP after they escape. And, of course, she is a class A manipulator, which is demonstrated with a multitude of characters. But…. She is not completely immoral – or at least she does have a conscience.

This is largely shown through her complaints in regards to Caine’s schemes. While she never leaves him, and never really acts on her complaints, she does voice disgust at the things he is doing/has done. This is first shown in chapters 31 and 32, when they find out that Andrew has stopped feeding the Coates kids:

“Diana snapped, ‘You’re letting these freaks starve. I can see why you’d be worried about being plastered.’                                                                                […]                                                                                                                          Drake, shoot the creep.” – Chapter 31

“Maybe you wake up in hell, ‘Diana said. ‘Where you belong.’                                ‘I should pray,’ Andrew said.                                                                                    ‘God forgive me for being a stupid creep who starves people?’ Diana suggested.” – Chapter 32

Diana is clearly horrified by Andrew’s actions here, to the point where she tries to have Drake kill him. I think part of the reason why her reaction is so extreme may be a hint at her own guilt towards the part she played in the cementing. Her morality is such as difficult thing to decipher in this book, because she so clearly feels guilty about the things she has done/ allowed to happen – but does that really mean anything considering she did nothing to stop it from happening?? Considering that she still continues to support Caine now?? We know that she herself did not suggest and/ or condone the cementing from her line in chapter 42, “I told you to let the freaks go who didn’t want to play along. But no, you had to listen to Drake’s paranoid advice. I told you to go into Perdido Beach and make a quick deal for food.” – but that seems neither here nor there when you think about the horrific nature of the crime. Surely she should have done more to prevent it from happening?? I think Diana’s immorality comes from a lack of action rather than a lack of conscience – silence is violence after all. This makes her the perfect candidate for a redemption arc later on as we know from the beginning that she does have the capacity for good, it’s just a case of whether she decides to act on it.

That being said, there are two moments in the book where Diana does seem to act on these thoughts, the first being in chapter 40, when she send Jack to Perdido Beach to warn Sam about the poof:

“Jack, if Sam blinks out, Drake will turn on me, and Caine won’t be able to stop him. Drake is stronger than before. I need Sam alive. I need someone for Drake to hate. I need balance. Tell Sam about the temptation.”

Now, I will admit, as much as I love Diana, this probably isn’t the best quote to argue her morality with – but hear me out. Is she doing this for selfish reasons?? Yes, she admits that much herself. But she is still doing the right thing. And doing the right thing for the wrong reasons is still a step in the right direction.

Now the second time she takes action is a much clearer example of her goodness. In the thanksgiving battle she becomes furious when Caine sets the coyotes on the littles, to the point where she actually demands him to make them stop. She tells him to drop Astrid. She tries to tell Sam about the poof. She actually DOES something. She acts on her conscience. And we see Caine clearly ignore her. Not only ignore her, but he actually physically attacks her… twice. Which really puts things into perspective. Because we see that Diana does not have as much control as she would have the reader believe. Her ability to manipulate Caine really relies on what he wants at the time. Is he currently thinking about how much he wants Diana?? If yes, then she is able to twist his arm, able to get him to do what she wants. If no?? Then she has absolutely no power over his actions, at least in this book. And so it seems like her lack of action is less a disinterest in his crimes, and more an attempt to protect herself. Now I’m not saying that makes her better, but it certainly makes you think.

Ok, so I’ve spoken a lot about Diana’s morality in relation to her affiliation with Caine, but let’s have a look at how she is when separate from him. We learn in chapter 29 why Diana was sent to Coates. Her father wouldn’t buy her a horse, so she told her mother about his mistress. During the following argument her mother fell down the stairs, and she falsely told the police that her father had done it. Now, while that’s certainly now a good thing to do, it’s nowhere near as bad as, sayyy shooting someone in the leg for ‘being annoying.’  We also learn that Diana’s mother never really recovered from the fall, she lived, but can’t really do much anymore. For that to happen, the fall must have been pretty bad. Now, I’m going to assume that Diana witnessed both the fight and the argument, otherwise she wouldn’t have been there to see whether her mother was pushed or not. So, just imagine this for a second. You’re a kid, at least under 14. You find out that your father is cheating on your mother and then during the, I assume pretty bad, argument that ensues because of this, your mother suffers a horrific injury. Would you not, on at least some level, blame your father?? You’ve just been traumatised, you’re not going to be thinking clearly. I’m not saying that Diana was right to lie, but I don’t think that was Coates worthy. The kid just needed therapy. But her parents clearly didn’t care about her enough to provide that. As for her telling her mother just because her dad wouldn’t buy her a horse. That’s another example of her doing the right thing for the wrong reasons. And again, she’s just a child – there are worse things children can do. Add all this onto Diana’s constant struggle with herself – her thinking that she’s incapable of feeling real love or anyone feeling real love for her, you get this picture of a young girl who has been failed repeatedly by the adults around her, and so is coping in the only way she knows how.

To me, it seems like Diana’s ‘immorality’ is a result of years of neglect and abuse from authority figures that has led to the development of a coping mechanism that is more destructive than productive. And now I’m gonna cry.

4.) Diana’s Loyalty to Caine:

Ok, so this kind of links in with my previous point about Diana’s morality. But I feel like there is a lot of nuance to it, and so it deserves its own bullet point. The main argument against Diana’s morality is her continuous affiliation with Caine. So, why does she stay?? I feel like the conclusion that mg wants us to come to, is that her ‘love’ for Caine is so strong that she can’t be without him. But I’m gonna be honest, that conclusion makes me want to throw up so I will be doing some literary gymnastics in order to reach a different one.

One thing that becomes pretty clear pretty early on is that Diana’s loyalty to Caine is…shaky. At best. She oddly seems to be loyal to him behind his back… but not to his face. In chapter 15, Diana seems upset that Edilio is digging a grave without Caine explicitly telling him to do it. But then later in the same chapter we see her lie to Caine’s face twice:

“Diana said, ‘Nowhere. He was just wandering, lost.” –

Jack had seen Diana take Sam’s hand. So he was amazed when Diana said, ‘No. I didn’t have a chance.”

And when you think about it, these are some pretty serious lies that could have had huge consequences. After finding Jack with Astrid, unsure as to whether Jack has told Astrid anything, she lies to Caine about where he was. Now, you could just put this down to my earlier point about Diana kind of liking Jack in her own way and so she protects him from Caine’s anger – IF she had followed up with Jack. But she doesn’t. She never makes any effort to find out what Jack and Astrid were talking about – Jack could have told Astrid everything, but she doesn’t seem to care. This could be interpreted two ways:

1 – She has such faith in Caine that she just isn’t worried about Sam and Astrid (doubtful)

2 – She is not fully loyal to Caine and is hoping to give Sam a chance to take over (imo, more likely)

To support point number two, she later lies about reading Sam’s power and finding out that he is a four bar. Later in the book, she tries to convince Jack that the reason she does this is to stop Caine from freaking out. But… I think that that is just another one of her lies. After all, she already knew that Caine did not trust Sam – and obviously knew about the plan to kidnap him in the school. I think if stopping Caine from doing something stupid was her main concern, then she would have told him the truth as soon as she saw that he was going to do something stupid anyway. But she doesn’t. Which tells me that her actual goal was to give Sam a chance to rise up and take control.

So the question is, what changed?? What happened between the beginning of the book, where her loyalty to Caine seems like nothing more than a façade, and the end, where this scene takes place:

“Sorry, Sam. The bad girl ends up with the bad boy. It’s the way the world works. Especially this world.’ She went to Caine. She did not take his extended hand, did not even look at him, but walked beside him as he descended the steps.” – Chapter 46

During this scene, she gets the chance to remain in Perdido Beach, to get away from Caine. But she doesn’t take it. Why?? This was the main question that I was left with when I finished the book, because in the beginning it seems so clear that she’s just biding her time, waiting for someone else to take over so she can defect from Caine’s side. She even tries this again in chapter 42, “I’ll go,’ Diana volunteered. It was foolish. She knew what he would say. And she could see the light of suspicion in his eyes.” And then, when she is finally given the chance to do so, she declines. She declines and then spends months taking care of him, living in fear of Drake, while he is in a coma. And not once does she think of returning to Perdido Beach. It makes no sense. If she does it out of love or affection, then why is she so disloyal at the beginning?? Surely those feelings couldn’t have developed over the course of the week that he was in charge. I mean, we were seeing the worst side of him. It took a few re-read of my notes, but I think I’ve finally come to a conclusion that I’m happy with.

I think she was scared. It’s such a simple answer, but that’s really why it’s such a perfect one. And I don’t just mean she was scared of Caine. In chapter 34 we get this quick line, “Diana seemed torn, uncertain; then she bolted after Caine.” Upon my first re-read I barely payed attention to this. I was more focused on Caine and Drake’s reactions in this scene and so never really bothered to pay attention to Diana. But that hesitation is why I think she eventually decided to stay. She is obviously torn, here is the perfect opportunity to join Sam – to get away from Caine and Drake. But instead she follows, because she’s scared. Not of Sam, but of the Coates kids. She’s scared of what they’ll do to her now that they’re free. And, most importantly, she’s scared that she deserves it. That she doesn’t deserve to be saved. She thinks Sam is too good, and is scared that she’ll never fit in. So she turns and runs back to Caine, because no matter how bad she is, he is worse. He can never look down on her for being a bad person, because she’ll never be quite as bad as him.

And then of course, we do have to factor in her fear of Caine which, imo, also contributes to her remaining by his side. We get very few Diana POV’s in this book, but the ones we do get are full of great quotes, particularly in chapter 42:

“If Caine got his hands on Computer Jack, Diana had no doubt that the techie wizard would give her up. What would Caine do then?                                        In the meantime, Diana had to play it smart. By pretending to be concerned by Jack’s escape or defection or whatever it should be called. It would throw Caine and Drake off the scent.                                                                                    Unless they captured Jack.                                                                                      She fought down a wave of fear and hid it by pouring herself a glass of water at the kitchen sink.”

Diana is clearly scared of Caine, despite what she may have him and others believe. She is afraid of what he will do to her if he no longer wants her. So she refers back to her tried and tested defence mechanism. Give him some affection, in this case choosing him, and maybe he won’t hurt her. Maybe she’ll be ok. I think Diana went with him because she felt safe nowhere, but it’s better to stick with the enemy you know rather than the one you don’t.

5.) Diana’s Power:

And finally, we have Diana’s power. Much like Caine, I feel like Diana’s power is an extension of her personality. As we have established, Diana’s number one defence mechanism is manipulation, the ability the read people and use that against them. So it makes sense that she would have the ability to read people’s power levels. I don’t really have anything else to say about this, I just think it is an interesting observation that I wanted to note.

Thank you so much for reading, and I apologise, once again for the length. The next analysis I’m planning on writing up is Drake and then I’m not sure. I might do a few other separate ones, or I might do the rest of the characters in few big posts together. Let me know if there are any that you are particularly interested in seeing :)

[girlobsessed21]

My thoughts on The 100 7x05

Hey, guys,

Sorry for not doing any comments on the last two episodes. I’ve been a little busy and I struggled to connect to the show, so it hindered my enjoyment, but it’s all better now. Liked episode 4 and 5 was even better, jampacked with info and it answered a lot of questions.

Welcome to Bardo

Badass Octavia is da bomb (people don’t say that anymore, right?). When she was captured in episode two, I thought she had lost her fighting spirit, but it’s back, bitches. Well, until she runs into an invisible wall trying to escape. She’s captured and transported to M-cap (whatever that means). Then we get a welcome little flashback to Lincoln but it’s obvious that Bellamy would be the hand reaching out. He’s her rock, like she’s expressed many times.

Unlike John Murphy who is not quite a friend, or family and definitely not a lover. Introducing so many new characters in the final season of a show is never a good idea, because this is the time to wrap up all the stories of the existing ones, but come on, who cannot love Levitt. Even when he first meets Octavia, he doesn’t want to hurt her. Jason, you better not harm one hair on this precious little puppy’s head!

As he binges The 100 through Octavia’s eyes, he starts rooting for her, and he actually gives a damn, unlike most people on this show. He understands her strengths and weaknesses and he makes her see it too. “You’re a warrior to be sure, but your heart is pure.” Wow, what an honest and beautiful line. (Scroll down for my shipping comments.)

So is O and Hope’s fleeting little reunion. It’s amazing to experience this deep loving side of Octavia after her darkness. She’s truly one of the most diverse and developed characters on the series. Now Hope and her resilience is quickly making it to the top as well.

While Hope is trying to send her back home, we learn that memory loss is due to the time dilation. One quick note on this, it’s not linear, there’s no easy equation to calculate it unless you’re Stephen Hawking or Einstein. I don’t think it’s constant either. 10 years on Skyring = 11 days on Bardo = a few minutes on Sanctum. In the current time, 5 years on Skyring = 1 day on Sanctum = 7 days on Bardo. So, it’s clear that the planets are moving, and other factors are playing into the phenomenon. It’s more important to understand the time relative to each planet.

Levitt was the one who tattooed Hope’s code onto O’s back, also the one who planted the note into Hope’s arm. Indeed the kind of man you want on the inside, he even accepts a blow to the face as thank you.

Sheep-ish?

Thirty minutes on the clock and the trio gets led to a congregation to praise the shepherd. I never thought it was Anders, I do, however think it might be Cadogan. The Bordoan’s built the underground forest because they destroyed their planet. Ugh, what’s new? The shepherd herded his sheep from earth to Bardo via the stone. Cadogan and his second dawn cult?

Back to Clarke. So, after last episode I thought ‘the key to winning the last war’ line was an artifice for luring Clarke to disciples, but now it’s clearly true. They’ve located the key and they will win the last war. Levitt was interested in Clarke surviving the City of Light with the flame in her head, they probably assume she still has it. Cadogan burned Becca alive. Could it be because of the flame? Is this all because of that damn little chip that can’t seem to die?

Bellamy is not dead, I repeat, Bellamy is not dead! I believe that memory could be staged or implanted for a reason. Also, there’s no body, he jumped through the bridge. In the promo photos, he wears a ring but his actions towards Octavia seem a little cold and generic. On first watch, I thought it was bad acting but if he was programmed to do this, it makes sense.

Note the sequence of events. Octavia returned 7 days ago and was asked to talk her brother down, but we don’t see the actual scene. Instead we’re shown a memory. They could have implanted it to make her vulnerable and perhaps more susceptible to the procedure. I don’t know, but this theory could lead to Robot-sheep!Bellamy on Nakara, where he’ll encounter Clarke and the gang.

I have to be honest, I really don’t like this character arc for Bellamy. It’s unoriginal and a mime of Peeta’s storyline in Mockingjay. Sorry, but so far it feels like the writers were so over the show, they just wanted to get it done. And that attitude really bleeds into one’s creative concepts. I could be completely wrong, in fact, I hope I am.

Echo spins a Finn

My word, I lost the love of my life once, but I sure didn’t kill anyone. When Echo received that vision of Roan, I was hoping for some progression on her individual arc, they’ve made me care about her, and now we get the opposite. Why? One thing I have to admit, a killer performance from Tasya Teles! No pun intended.

Look, this show hasn’t explored Bellamy and Echo’s relationship enough to make her murder believable. It was the exact same thing with Finn. I wasn’t invested in Finn and Clarke’s connection, so his actions of killing a grounder tribe was more repulsive than understandable. Sure, Echo loves Bellamy and her sole purpose is to save him, but I’ve never truly witnessed their love for each other. They had one or two intimate scenes which cannot compel a deed like this. And in the process, she screwed Hope and Diyoza.

Anyway, I don’t think there’s any coming back from it. She murdered an innocent person in cold blood. That’s sure to open a door to the dark side.  Just look at Octavia after killing Pike and her actions were justified by jus drein jus daun.

Say Sanctum three times slowly and it sounds like… Sanctum

Blind faith

Look, I’m just gonna come out and say this song is getting old. Every episode featuring Sanctum is the exact same thing with different lines. Can we please move on from it, already? Yes, we know the COG want Russel dead, and the adjusters will go to extreme lengths to free Russel and the prisoners are background noise.

I did appreciate Nelson stepping in to try and save the girl, though. Still doesn’t save the fact that it’s repetitive. The Sanctum plotline is really struggling to take shape and I hope it happens soon. Dramatic eyeroll.

At least in the drought of a desert, you can always count on Murphy. “…I say we live and let die.” Typical cockroach line, right, but it’s ironic when he’s the one to step up, even if it is for Emori. Under the magnifying glass it’s the exact same plot as episode 1 and 3. He hesitates to take action, and eventually becomes the hero.

I mean, he saved that poor kid from being burned alive. Can you imagine sacrificing your own child in such a horrific away? Cults are beyond whacked, and, unfortunately, it’s reality that cult members are so blinded by their faith that they do not see rhyme or reason.

How did Murphy fail that test? I didn’t. When Trey named the four pillars, I thought, isn’t rejoice one of them? Surely, a cockroach would have smelled that trap a mile away.

Indra the great

Can we just give a massive round of applause to Adina Porter!!! That powerhouse walk vibrates strength and majesty, damn, she should be a false god, I wouldn’t dare threaten her with or without an army.

Three little words was all it took for her to recognize evil. “There’s a spider on your shoulder.” Smooth. Too bad she can’t kill him. Why not, how many of the faithful are left to cause an uproar? Wonkru doesn’t know it’s Sheidheda, they won’t care, the COG will fall in line and the prisoners will be happy as long as they get their compound. Sorry, I don’t get it and I don’t understand why she doesn’t tell anyone.  Someone please explain?

Granted, JR Bourne as Russel is way better, but I still don’t understand his actions. I hope they explore and explain him more, because he still feels flat unless he knows something of this final war. I’m hoping these two storylines align soon since it’s really driving a wedge between me and my love for the show.

Shipwreck

I’ll start with the easy stuff, Murphy, Emori and the perfect dress gets a heart eye emoji from me. They are so damn cute this season, can they please live happily ever after in the palace?

Octabriel vs Levittavia

Now, I enjoy Levitt fangirling over Octavia. I feel like he has a deep sense of her through her memories. If I have to root for an underdeveloped relationship, it will have to be one where the characters share thoughts and experiences even if it is through a sick, sci-fi procedure.

On the other hand, Gabriel and Octavia have immense chemistry, two seconds of them together bends my mouth into an “Aah, cute” pout. This will also add some approval and representation for mixed racial relationships.

I really don’t mind either way as long as they make me care through showing and not telling.

Bellarke

So, if my theory is correct, and Bellamy does end up on Nakara, Bellarke will encounter each other quite soon. Bellamy won’t be himself though, but he might pretend to be Bellamy to win Clarke’s co-operation. Is there hope for Bellarke yet?

Echo is now trotting a dangerous path and Bellamy might be pledged to a cause, so I doubt there will be a happy ending for Becho. Since 7x01 I’ve been thinking that the writers might want to develop something between Clarke and Gaia but if they are separated, is there enough time? Guess we’ll see.

This monster of a review is finally done… If you read through everything, you deserve a gold star! Let me know what you think, till we meet again…

[thebirdandhersong]

a list of favourite encounters with people I’m unlikely to ever meet again

just a list of interesting people I’ve met/been friends with :) I was thinking of a few of them today and thought it probably would be interesting to write them down.

I had a friend in our children’s choir called Elise(?) who had silky blonde hair, very cool glasses (can’t remember the shape or colour but I remember thinking they were cool), and who smelled very distinctly like grape juice. We smiled at each other during rehearsal once (we were both new!), sidled up to each other, and she asked me if I wanted a Starburst. I said yes please. Instant friends. Never saw her again :(

brisk, stressed-looking lady at our favourite noodle shop; ALWAYS looked stressed so my dad always made a point of telling her that the food was very good

one of my church’s youth leaders (who moved away a long time ago). He was one of the few people who took me seriously in middle school, and actually talked to me about books. He had the cutest little girl with the curliest brown hair, and would often raise his eyebrows wryly when people commented on his bald head. I remember asking him about The Girl Who Could Fly and whether or not The Golden Compass was worth reading, and he answered my questions very seriously.

another one of my former youth leaders, this twenty-something German student called Linnea. I thought she was one of the prettiest people I’d seen. She was very friendly, very outspoken, and talked to me about choosing to follow Jesus one youth night. I really liked her, and I also really liked that she told us we could talk to her about anything. She left before I had the bravery to open my mouth, though.

I had a childhood friend called Lucy and we shared a secret hideout. It was very exciting. Once she came over to give me this gigantic rock that had a plant growing in a little hole. She moved away before I could say goodbye, and before I moved out of that neighbourhood, I used to drop by our secret hideout to make sure it was still there.

speaking of childhood friends: one was called Lisa. She had gorgeous black hair (very long) and always came to church in the prettiest dresses. She was very good at art and once showed us tiny flowers she’d sculpted out of clay. She could speak fluent Chinese (she was part of the Chinese service) and I really liked her. Unfortunately when I last visited my hometown, she didn’t remember me at all. It was a very awkward conversation.

my third grade teacher was the BEST. She was a comfortable looking woman with black hair and blue eyes, and reminded me of both Marilla and Mrs. Lynde. We had mandatory knitting hour every day and went for runs in the forest every week. She had a little wooden book cabinet with glass doors, and I would borrow books from them every once in a while. She chose Because of Winn-Dixie and The Tale of Despereaux for our novel study unit, and read both of them out loud to us. (She read the whole of Winn-Dixie in a very convincing Southern accent.) Every single one of us had our own set of knitting needles, ball of yarn, and knitting bag (she and another elementary school teacher made knitting bags with drawstrings for each and every one of us). She was the only teacher I had in that school who could calm down the restless kids, and who showed the ADHD/ADD kids compassion. When she gave you That Look you knew you had to settle down and behave. I went to visit her many years ago and found out that she’d gone in for chemotherapy - I heard later on that she’d fully recovered. I hope she’s doing well.

my fourth grade teacher (part 1). I can’t remember his name, but I remember he was VERY tall, Caucasian, and wore a sweater and a name tag on his first day. The first thing he did with us was sit down on a desk and ask us our name and something interesting about ourselves. I told him that I really liked books. He asked me which ones. I said Charlie and the Chocolate Factory and Narnia. He asked me about my opinion on other Roald Dahl books. He listened to ALL of us very intently, and we warmed up to him very quickly. At the end of our introductions he went around and repeated all our names and our interesting facts. I had never felt so understood before.

my fourth grade teacher (part 2). The first one switched schools after one or two weeks, and we had Miss Payson come in. She was also comfortable-looking, with short brown hair and purple glasses. She had a purple knitted hedgehog, and spoke very kindly to all of us. We had a mandatory creative writing session every week, where we would go to the computer lab and type for around an hour. I asked her permission once to write a story about her hedgehog, and she said yes. (I was VERY happy for the rest of the day.)

my fifth grade teacher (part 1). The first was an Italian lady with black hair to her shoulders and a matter-of-fact approach. The restless kids who liked to talk back got her riled up on several occasions, but most of the time she was very calm and practical. She taught us to write comparison essays (I did one on wild vs. farmed salmon and it was a horrible essay.) She told us she was going to get married in the summer. Are you going to invite us? asked one of the boys. No, she said, and laughed. Once, a boy in my class took Jesus’s name in vain (she told us right off the bat that she was Catholic) and a steely look entered in her eye. She told him very quietly that she didn’t want to hear any such language in class, and he apologised to her immediately, rather chastened. I did some creative writing with her, and she was the first teacher to tell me that she looked forward to seeing my name on a bookstore shelf one day. I will never forget that.

my fifth grade teacher (part 2). The second was a lady from Ghana who had two children she loved telling us about, and had a very bubbly and passionate personality. She read to us in class, was VERY good at math, and often directed a certain look at us I now call an ironic glance. 

this wisp of a girl with long brown hair and a slight nervous look called Valentina. She always looked nervous and a little unhappy, and I never got the chance to ask her why.

a friend from middle school with short red hair (very wild! very beautiful!) and freckles. We were both into The Hobbit when it came out, and collaborated on a novel for NaNoWriMo in 2013(?). It was a bit messy and we never really finished it, but I remember how insistent she was that we help the main character realise that the world was still a beautiful place. (I loved her for that.)

my old band teacher in elementary school, back when I could actually play clarinet. He was British, wore the same black earrings every class, was very tall, very thin, and very kind. He never once yelled at us for playing badly, or for getting distracted. Band was so much fun with him. I can’t tell you how many times we practiced King Arthur’s March, but I can tell you that it was a LOT.

someone I saw when I got off the train one day. I was on the way home, the train doors opened, and I saw the most beautiful pair of eyes I had ever seen. I don’t remember his face at all (I don’t recall any other features of his) but I do remember that it was late afternoon, and the sun struck his brown eyes. I could see the gold in them. It was an enchanting experience.

a whole GROUP of people I dearly wanted to be friends with: this boy who I thought must be some sort of fairy: rectangular wire glasses, very floppy dirty blond hair, angelic smile, insisted on wearing a pageboy cap and clunky boots, played violin like it was as natural to him as breathing. He was a very friendly person. His sister, who also had short hair and glasses - the kind of person whose enthusiasm is contagious. (When she talks to you, you can’t help but smile.) Also another of his possible relatives (I don’t know... they were both blonde, tall, and had similar hair): this slender, elf-like girl with a pixie cut who had black combat boots, and an endless supply of flannel shirts and dangly earrings. She was into Lord of the Rings and Doctor Who (I was always at the edge of my seat, wishing I could chime in with an “I love them too!” but I was never quite brave enough). Another girl was always dressed in black (with matching purple lipstick and ALSO black combat boots), and talked about the books she liked and didn’t like (Brave New World wasn’t worth reading, she said one day). A younger girl with bouncy blonde hair and these GORGEOUS blue-green eyes. I didn’t know that people’s eyes could actually sparkle until I saw her. She was the life of the party, and was incredibly charming because she didn’t seem to be aware at all how charming she was. OH and a girl who looked like she’d walked right out of the 1940s: red lipstick, curly ginger hair, beauty mark, with an incredible singing voice. She was in love with La La Land and Phantom of the Opera (very valid) and was the darling of the group (you could definitely tell why: she was well-spoken, bright-eyed, generous). And a very tall, very quiet boy with dark curly hair who was very talented at any kind of art. Very fluent in French (French was part of the vernacular in this friend group... they sometimes slipped in and out of it and I would just sit and smile, somewhat confused). Also very kind. I remember he once asked to look at my sketchbook (I was vibrating with nervousness the whole time. You know when you’re in middle school, and want validation SO much? Or maybe that was just my social anxiety) and when he finally handed it back, he said something nice and smiled. I instantly felt more at ease. He was also a friendly person, the kind of person you could sit with for a long time in silent companionship. Also very, very kind - and more of an action person than a talking person.

[thdorkmagnet]

The Deal (Star is Rapunzel AU part 2)

Summary: A series of one-shots and multi-chapters proving why Star Butterfly should be considered a Disney Princess, as Star and company take over the roles of all your favorite Disney Princess characters! (Starco inevitable)

Check out my other stuff on Fanfiction! 

Disclaimer: Star vs and all its characters are owned by Daron Nefcy and Disney. Tangled belongs to Disney. All rights go to their respective owners.

Click for part 1

After several failed attempts to stuff the boy into her large closet, Star was finally able to get the unconscious intruder inside and hidden (with no help from Janna), without being relatively harmed. She took a few steps back, taking deep, calming breaths, as her mind raced out of control. “Okay, okay, everything's good, Star,” the girl reassured herself, before she continued her incoherent ramble. Meanwhile, Janna was busy riffling though the satchel Marco had been wearing.  “You just have someone locked in your closet. Someone who could be dangerous if he managed to get out. But, who am I kidding, that won't happen. Besides, this is your big chance, all you need to do is wait for mom to get back and then show her what you did. Nothing bad could happen before then, right Janna?”

Star looked over at her bat friend, but Janna was still buried deep into the brown leather bag and  the blond huffed. “Janna, get out of there!” she scolded, actually managing to grab her attention, as she sat up from the satchel with wide, brown eyes. Star stomped over to the animal and snatched the satchel up and out of her grip. “You don't know where that's been!”

Janna flew up and opened the satchel once again, reaching her claws into the bag, despite Star's protest. “Janna, no! We don't know what's in there, there could be something dangerous or bad or-”

Star's voice cut off, as the small fluffy bat pulled out something the blond had never seen before from the depths of the bag. It was golden object of some kind, shimmering and dazzling even in the dim light of the tower and Star became entranced in the thing's beauty and mystery, dropping the satchel without a second thought.

And yet something about it just felt familiar. Though she couldn't recall how, exactly. She took the golden thing out of Janna's claws and began studying it closely. “I've... seen this before,” she admitted, as she turned the object around in her hands, over and over again, trying to recall where she could have seen it. “But I don't know where.” She got a few bizarre flashes, seeing a room bathed in light as a sun spun lazily around in a circle over and over again, in a soothing manner. But for the life of her, she couldn't remember anymore, just small bits and pieces of a memory long forgotten. Her brain throbbed as it tried to fight against the fog that consumed her mind.

She shook her head, trying to clear it of the pestering thoughts, focusing instead on what this thing was. “Hmm, any ideas what this is?” she asked her bat friend, who shrugged. Star brought it closer to her face, examining every inch of its polished frame, even biting on it, in hopes of this providing some form of clue, but it did no good.

Finally, Star was stumped, giving up in defeat, as she retrieved the satchel off the floor and shoved the shiny object back inside it. “Well, whatever it is, mom definitely shouldn't see it,” she said. “I'll have to hide this, too.”

Janna made a small squeak and Star turned to her in surprise. “What?” Reading Janna's expression, Star said, “You want to hide it?”

The purple bat nodded, before flying up and grabbing the bag out of her friend's hands. She quickly pulled up one of the loose floorboards of the stairs, revealing a small place to stash stuff. “Huh, I didn't even know that was here,” Star commented, from over the bat's shoulder. Janna quickly stuffed the bag into the hidden area amongst the dust and cobwebs, before sealing it back.

Once, the small creature was finished, she turned to her owner with a smug look. “Well, I coulda hid it somewhere good, too,” Star defended herself, though she refused to meet Janna's gaze.

Janna looked over at a decorative pot, before turning back to Star with knowing skepticism, implying that she knew Star's first hiding place would be in the most obvious place possible.

Star began scoffing, crossing her arms across her chest. “No, I wouldn't have hid it in there,” she denied frantically, though her tone was more condemning to the small bat than convincing. “I would have hid it... uhh...” Star looked around the room for an idea. “In my room. Under my bed,” she said hesitantly.

Janna gave her a look that told her, Like-that-would-be-much-better. Star opened her mouth to retort, but before she could there was a call from outside. “Star!”

Star gasped. “It's mom!” she shouted in a panic and quickly raced over to the window, nearly tripping over her own hair in her haste. She saw her mother's smiling face from below and quickly hooked her hair before pushing it over the edge for her mom to grab. She wasted almost no time in once again hauling her up the side of the tower. Once Eclipsa was back inside, the woman gave her an immediate hug saying, “Oh Star dear. I am so sorry for arguing with you like that. You know I hate fighting with you.”

“It's okay, mom,” the blond said quickly, giving her a small squeeze before pulling away and skipping backwards over to the closet. “Sooo, mom, I was thinking about what you said about the floating lights-”

“Darling let's just forget about the stars for a while,” Eclipsa said softly but dismissively, as she set the things out of her basket she had gathered. “Why don't you help your mother make your favorite for dinner, candy casserole.”

Star was determined to continue though, hand slowly grasping the chair that sealed the closet doors closed. “Yeah, that sounds great but first I want to show you something. I have a bit of a surprise.”

Eclipsa sighed and turned to her daughter saying exasperatedly, “Star, I thought we talked about this? You aren't leaving the tower, it isn't safe.”

“Yes, but I-”

“No, Star we are done discussing this,” her mother argued firmly.

“But if you would just listen-”

“Enough Star!” Eclipsa yelled, finally losing her calm. “You are staying here and that is final! I won't allow you to leave this tower, ever!”

Star froze, her hand pulling away from the chair, as she gave her mother a long, sad look.

Eclipsa stared at her silently for a moment, studying her daughter's depressed face, before saying, “I don't enjoy raising my voice to you Star. But you know the rules. I don't know why you insist on breaking them. Do you really care so little about how that makes me feel?”

Star felt shame fill her insides and she took an instinctive step away from the closet, giving a very nervous chuckle. “Uh, yeah, who cares about floating lights, anyway? I certainty don't,” she said in a far too forced tone, trying to sound as nonchalant as possible but instead came across as extremely awkward. She wrapped her arms around herself defensively, her eyes gazing back at the closet thoughtfully. She bit her lip, doing a quick silent debate within, before swallowing down the lump in her throat and adding, “I, um, was only going to say that I figured out what I want for my birthday.”

“What's that?” Eclipsa asked softly.

“Some new paint,” the girl said with a shrug. “The ones you brought me that one time from the place really far away.”

Eclipsa gave her daughter a confused look. “Which ones?”

“You know that time you were gone for like two days and they were in these weird seashell things and-”

Eclipsa held up a hand to silence her, “Yes, yes. I do remember now, thank you.” She walked over to her daughter, wrapping her up in a hug, as she asked, “Are your certain that is what you want, darling?”

Star nodded. “Yeah, I'm sure. It was some of the best paint I ever had and it would definitely be a better gift than seeing some dumb stars.” She was thankful her mom had hugged her, because there was no way she could hide the guilty frown from her mom as she blatantly lied to her. But as she felt her releasing her from the hug, Star quickly put on a forced grin, as she stared into her mom's searching eyes. “Are you sure you will be alright all alone for so long?”

Star scoffed, waving a hand in the air. “I'll be fine, mom. I'll just hang out here... like I always do. I can just watch the floating lights from my window, it's much better that way, anyway.”

Her mother gave her a long look before asking suspiciously, “And you won't try and leave-”

“Mom, trust me,” Star said, giving her the most innocent grin she could, while crossing her fingers behind her back.

Eclipsa's face softened, before she leaned over and kissed her daughter's head, saying, “Very well then, darling. If that is what you really want.”

Star breathed a mental sigh of relief as she helped her mother quickly pack a bag of supplies, her mother leaving a few minutes later, wanting to get a head start on the long journey. She gave Star one last hug, the girl swallowing down the guilt she felt rising up inside her. It's too late now, she reminded herself. There's no going back. Star waved down to her mother, as she watched her turn and blow a final, departing kiss, before disappearing from sight.

The second Eclipsa was gone, Star quickly pulled away, now pacing back and forth around the room, not even bothering to remove her hair from the hook in her worry. She was wringing her hands together over and over again, as she let out little, anxious moans of distress. She heard a tiny squeak and froze, looking over to see Janna perched on the back of a chair giving her a piercing gaze which Star instantly interpreted. “Yeah, I know, I panicked!” she shouted, throwing her hands up in desperation. “But you heard mom, she's never going to let me leave! And if she found out somebody managed to get in her, she'd be even more freaked!” Janna nodded her head in agreement at that. Star tapped a finger thoughtfully to her chin. “If I'm going to go see the floating lights, I need a new plan.” Star racked her brain for a moment, desperately searching for some kind of idea, before looking down at her bat friend. “You got any ideas?”

Janna pointed her wing over at the closet and Star followed her gaze, wide-eyed. There was a second of pause before Star said wistfully, “Ohhhhhh.”

…

Marco woke slowly, moaning in pain as his head throbbed with an unbearable headache. "Ugh, what hit me?" He muttered, waiting for the aching in his brain to stop. Finally it subsided enough that the boy was able to open up his eyes, blinking as he waited for his eyes to adjust to the lack of light. But as he did he noticed a small purple bat holding a lit match close to him and he screamed in fear. "No! Shoo, get out of here!" He tried to wave a hand at it to scare it away, but to his surprise he found his hands were trapped in place. A quick glance down tripled Marco's fears, as he found his arms, legs and torso tied tightly to a chair. Marco began screaming a girlishly high voice, "What's happening?! Where am I?! Why am I tied up?! Is this hair? Why am I tied up with hair?!" "Because that's what you get for breaking into my tower!" Marco's head snapped up as he tried to trace the voice from the darkness. "Who said that? Who's there?" Marco shouted his eyes scanning the shadows around him. Suddenly a form began to creep into view, stepping delicately into the light, and the boy had to fight every instinct in his body to keep his mouth from dropping open. It was a girl with flowing blond hair, very long hair that stretched out across the floor and around the entire length of the castle before leading up to the chair he was tied up to. And if that was not startling enough, she was also quite beautiful, her pale face pretty and fair, and her purple dress equally cute. She was barefoot and had piercing blue eyes that Marco just knew he could remain lost in for all of eternity. He might have even found her presence comfortable if she wasn't currently frowning at him, her eyes full of fire, as she held  a frying pan threateningly as a weapon. The girl ceased her glaring long enough to turn to the bat, still with a lit match in its claws, and said, "Thanks Janna. I can take it from here." The boy and bat shared a look for a second, the winged creature seeming to almost be glaring at him, before it flew up toward the ceiling. Marco quickly recovered from his shock, as he struggled against his bonds, shouting, "What is going on?" "I'll tell you what's going on, you broke into my home so you could steal my hair," Star said coldly, pointing an accusing finger in the boys face. "What? N-No!" Marco stuttered in confusion. What was this crazy girl talking about? "I didn't know anyone was living here and I definitely wasn't going to try and steal your hair!" "Likely story," the girl said suspiciously, leaning in closer to the boy's face, causing the boy to slightly blush, despite the situation. "Now fess up, tell me how you found this place?!" "Look it was a total accident!" Marco quickly said, trying to calm the agitated blond, keeping his voice at the most innocent and nonthreatening tone he could. "I was running from this horse, I saw your tower and I climbed it, okay? That's it. End of story." The girl stared at him long and hard, her gaze unwavering and the boy felt his cheeks continuing to flush, his body growing hot and sweaty. He wasn't used to being this close to a girl, especially one as beautiful or crazy as this one. "You're sure your not here to steal my hair?" she asked, raising a suspicious eyebrow. "Yeah, I'm positive," the boy replied, trying to keep the squeak out of his voice. The intense moment stretched out for far too long, as the girls icy blue eyes narrowed and she seemed to be unsure whether she believed him or not. Marco became afraid his heart might explode it was pumping so fast and he was certain that at the very least this girl could hear the constant noisy hammering of his organ, it was basically impossible to miss. He tried to swallow but his throat was too dry for such an act and he instead let out a raspy, anxious cough. "So uh, can you untie me now?" He somehow managed out and the girl at last pulled away from him, though she still kept a quizzical gaze on him, and Marco had to fight the urge to let out a relieved sigh, as his heartbeat finally slowed. "I have to discuss this with my friend first," the blond said plainly. Wait? Was there someone else in this tower he hadn't seen yet. Marco did a quick look around the tower but saw no one else. He figured it would make sense that this girl wouldn't be alone but still... Then to his surprise, he saw that the blond was talking to the small purple bat, who sat perched on her hand, whispering softly under her breath so Marco couldn't hear. Okay, he really needed to get out of here, this girl had clearly lost her mind. He struggled in the chair pulling against the surprisingly strong hair wrapped around his wrists, trying anything that would get him out of this tower and away from the crazy blond that held him hostage. Finally the girl seemed to finish her conversation, turning back to him and the boy halted his struggle.  "Alright," she said, giving him a stony stare. "I'm prepared to offer you a deal." "A deal?" Marco questioned worriedly, the last thing he wanted was to negotiate with her, terrified of what exactly she wanted from him. He swallowed down the lump of fear in his throat as he risked asking, "What kind of deal?" "I'll let you go if you take me to see the floating lights," she said. "Floating..  lights," Marco repeated, his fears confirmed. Yep, she was definitely bananas. "Yeah you know the big lights that appear in the sky once every year. See look," She pointed over to her painting and Marco stared at it quizzically. "Um, what am I looking at?" He asked, squinting, trying to make out the poorly drawn picture. "Duh, it's me at the floating lights," Star explained in annoyance. "Is that a spider?" Marco asked. Star turned back to the picture for a second, before whipping back around to face the boy. "Okay never mind the drawing." She walked toward the boy, demanding, "The point is you are going to take me go see the floating lights and then bring me safely back home." "And if I refuse," the boy asked, a hint of anxiety in his tone. "Then you never see your purse ever again," Star threatened. Marco rolled his eyes, before explaining, "It's a satchel not a purse." Then, her threat finally registering, he began to frantically look around the tower, straining against the ropes as he desperately searched for his missing item. "Oh no! My satchel, where is it?!" "I've hidden it somewhere you'll never find it," Star said smugly, crossing her arms in front of her chest. Janna gave her a knowing look from her perch on the blond's shoulder, which Star ignored. Marco finally stopped, giving the girl a narrowed glare. "Oh great so your a thief too! Anything else I should add to your resume?" He asked with a sarcastic roll of his eyes. Star huffed. "Hey don't forget you broke in here first, mister.  And unless you take me to see the floating lights, I can promise you you will never find your precious purse," she threatened poking him in the chest with her finger. "Satchel," Marco corrected. "and I don't even know what these floating lights are? How can I even take you there?" "How do you not know?!" Star asked in exasperation. “They're big lights up in the sky that only appear once every year!" Suddenly something clicked in Marco's brain as he finally remembered hearing many of the citizens of Corona talking about something along those lines when he had been sneaking through the town. "Ohhh right, the lantern things," he said without thinking. The blond gasped, before her face broke out into a wide beam as she grabbed the boy by the collar and moved to within inches of his face, her eyes shimmering like her namesake. "You know what they are?!" Marco tried to answer her, his voice squeaking against his will once more from her startling close contact. "Yes! No! Sorta!" The girl's eyebrows narrowed in the cutest way (wait, what was he thinking? she kidnapped him!) As she asked carefully, "Well which one is it?" "Get out of my face and I'll tell you," Marco demanded, his face painted red. Star obeyed, though didn't release her grip on his collar, tipping his chair slightly toward her. Marco coughed to clear his surprisingly tight throat. What was wrong with him? Why was he feeling this way, she was just a girl after all. He had seen them before, so why was she so effortlessly making his heart float, feeling it was separate from his chest. "Look all I know is the people of a nearby kingdom saying something about these lanterns that they use to celebrate their princess or something, okay." Star squealed and turned over her shoulder to shout at her pet, "Do you hear that, Janna? They are real, I knew it!" She didn't even wait for Janna to reply as she whipped her head back around to face the startled boy, who jumped at the sudden action. "So then mister intruder, how about it? You scratch my feet, I give you yours-" "That's not how that saying goes," Marco interrupted. "-We help each other," Star finished, giving him a wide and innocent smile. Marco sighed trying to think of a way out of this situation. "Look you seem..." the thief paused trying to think of the right word to use here. "Well unstable honestly. But even if I wanted to help you, I couldn't, I'm not exactly welcomed over there." "Oh, did you break into someone else's house there too," Star commented sarcastically, rolling her eyes.

“No!” Marco retorted sharply, before adding hesitantly, “I... uh... just sorta... stole something.”

Star stated at him blankly for a moment, before commenting, “And you called me a thief?”

The boy in red rolled his eyes, before saying exasperatedly, “The point is if I go back there I'll be arrested, so I'm not taking you.”

Star gave a nonchalant shrug. “Well then I guess you're leaving empty handed,” she replied carelessly, leaning an arm against the back of the chair in a casual gesture, pretending to be indifferent one way or the other.

The boy could easily see through the ploy and tried a different tactic, “How can you expect me to travel with you, you knocked me out and tied me to a chair! No offense but you don't seem exactly like the most trustworthy type.”

But the girl was quick to counter, pointing out, “Well if anything I'm the one who shouldn't be trusting you, after all you did break into my home and are apparently a wanted criminal.”

Marco opened his mouth to reply, but stopped knowing there was some truth to that statement, instead changing the subject once again, “But I don't even know your name!”

“It's Star,” the girl admitted instantly, before inquiring, “And you are.”

The boy let out a deep breath, not sure if he should give this girl his real name or not. She had given him literally no reason to trust her, but for some reason the boy found himself saying, “Marco. Marco Diaz.”

Star looked almost as surprised as he did that he had actually given out his name (even though she had her doubts it was his real one), but she continued despite her obvious shock, “Okay, look Marco, I know this is a weird request and everything but seeing these things has been my dream since I was little. I've lived my whole life stuck in here and all that's kept me going through all the boring, boring days was thinking about seeing the floating lights in person. And now that you're here, this might be my only chance to get to see them, so please... would you help me?”

Marco was caught off guard by just how sincere and open she was being admitting this to him that he began to feel sympathy for her plight. Her eyes were begging, the deep blue nearly hypnotic to him, and he would be lying if he said that they didn't tug at his heartstrings.

He began to think about this crazy girl in a whole new light, seeing her as more than an enemy or nuisance, and instead got a really good, genuine look at her and who she was for time since he had woken up. Sure she had basically kidnapped him but he did barge into her home and frightened her. If anything he was at fault here and she was clearly beyond desperate to leave this place. It reminded him of himself, honestly, back when he had been just a young child in an orphanage, dreaming of a better life, of adventure and freedom. He understood her need, probably better than most ever did. And yeah, they were still a bit more extreme than he would have liked but her heart was still in the right place, even if her actions were not.

So despite the risk, despite the worry, despite his most basic of instincts telling him this was a bad idea, he instead found himself asking, “So all I have to do is take you to go see these floating lights and then take you back and you'll give me back my satchel.” He searched her eyes for conformation, ignoring his skipping heartbeat from maintaining eye contact with her for too long.

“I promise,” Star said, keeping her gaze steady with him, silently conveying her trustworthiness to him.

Marco sucked in a breath. I'm so gonna regret this. “All right, I'll take you to go see the floating lights,” he finally said and Star gasped in joy and shock.

“Really?!” she exclaimed, hugging her arms close to her chest in excitement. But her letting go of the still tilted chair, caused the whole thing to tip over, sending it and Marco crashing to the floor with a loud bang and equally loud cry of pain from the young thief. Star cringed, calling down sheepishly, “Sorry.”

The boy lay with his face pressed uncomfortably against the floor, a frown plastered on his face as he groaned,“Ugh, I should have just let myself get arrested.”

��

A few minutes later, Marco was slowly making his way down the tower, using the same arrows from before to climb down the tower's side. He looked back up to where Star was, leaning out the window and watching his descent. “You coming!” Marco called up to her and she said nothing, so he merely shrugged and continued the monotonous task, wondering if the blond would actually have the guts to follow. She had seemed so eager and energetic about leaving before, but she was clearly having second thoughts now.

Star, meanwhile, was taking deep, steadying breaths as she looked down at the world waiting below, her heart was hammering so much she was afraid it might explode. Her hair was already secured to the hook and she was leaning against it heavily as she stared at the dizzying heights beneath her bare feet. “Okay, Star, you got this,” she reminded herself, whispering under her breath. “Just the single biggest moment of your life, no pressure.” She tightened her grip on her hair, looking over at her familiar bat friend flying beside her. “You ready Janna?”

The bat looked indifferent either way, shrugging her wings and Star let out a breath. “Wish I was as confident as you,” she muttered, before directing her attention back to the ground below. “Here I go...” she said as bravely as she could, clenching her eyes shut for a second.

Marco had just reached the ground when he heard Star scream, “Look out below!” He looked up just in time to see Star dive off the side of the tower and fall straight down at a breakneck speed, using her hair as a make-shift rope for her descent. Irrational panic took over as he tried to get into a good position to catch her, just in case she couldn't stop herself in time and didn't die on impact with the ground.

Star just giggled incessantly as she felt the cold air rush around her, which was quite pleasant against her face. She closed her eyes and just relished the feeling of weightlessness that consumed her body. But hearing a squeak beside her, her eyes shot open as she realized she was getting too close to the ground and heeded Janna's warnings as she yanked against her hair-rope bringing her to an instant stop, her body just inches from Marco's outstretched arms, waiting to catch her. She looked over at the teen who blushed and said nervously, “I'll, uh, just go stand over there.” He quickly retreated to the small river and Star watched his form for only a second before her eyes jumped back to the unfamiliar grass waiting below her.

She took in a deep breath and bravely lowered her legs down to the forest floor, letting her toes gently feel the soft grass. She giggled as the blades tickled her feet and with new found courage laid down in the grass, feeling a gentle breeze blow against her. She had never experienced sensations like this before, being sheltered inside the lonely tower her whole life. She had dreamed of this moment for so long and now that it was here, nothing she imagined could come close to right now.

Star took in a deep breath, the scent of grass and dirt and just the outside filled her nostrils and left goosebumps on her skin. After another few moments of enjoyment, she rose and ran over to the trickling stream, splashing into the water and spraying the startled Marco next to her. He let out a startled yelp but Star didn't notice as she just scooped up a big handful of water and threw it up into the air, letting it splashdown on her face, with another loud laugh. The cool moisture felt good on her skin and she shook her head to relieve herself of the water, running instead toward the entrance, as fast as her body would take her, her hair trailing behind her and her excitement ever building in her chest.

“Hey wait!” Marco called after her, running to keep up. Star barely heard him as she passed through the vegetated curtain and out into the real world for the first time in her entire life. Her smile was wide and her eyes were shimmering as she took in every sight around her, twisting around and around in an attempt to see it all. Marco finally caught up with her, watching her silently for a moment. Her joy was so infectious that despite everything he couldn't help but smile for her, inwardly glad to see her happiness and was again reminded of himself and how free and content he had felt when he had first been out on his own. Maybe today wouldn't be so bad after all.

He looked over beside him to see the same bat from before giving him a long, almost smirking stare and the boy felt instant discomfort at the knowing look on the bat's face. He coughed and crossed his arms in front of his chest, awkwardly, muttering, “What are you looking at?”

The smirk seemed to widen before she flapped over to Star, much to Marco's relief.

“This is amazing!” Star continued to scream, jumping up and down with joy, causing Marco to let out a small chuckle. “I'm sooo happy right now! If mom could see me now she would be so furious!” Her smile dropped for a moment, but quickly resumed as she continued, “But she doesn't know so it's okay, right?”

It left again as her eyes widened and she grabbed the top of her head in worry. “Oh man this would so kill her!” Marco felt sympathy fill his chest but before he could say a word the girl began to smile brightly again. “Buuuuttt she'll never know, so I'm just fine!”

The young thief raised an eyebrow at the girl's sporadic mood shift, she was definitely strange that much was certain. The girl turned once more, spotting something ahead and began to run towards it, yelling, “Ooohhh what's that?!”

Marco followed her gaze and quickly realized what it was, racing after her as he shouted in warning, “No Star, wait don't touch that!” He managed to grab her hand just before she could touch the five leaved plant in front of her. “That's poison ivy!”

Star blinked once, before pulling her hand away saying gratefully, “Wow, that was a close one. Thanks Marco.”  

Marco blushed against his will, rubbing at the back of his neck with a sheepish chuckle. “Uhh, it's no big deal, just try to be more careful next time,” he said nervously.

Star nodded. “Okay I will,” she said cheerfully. She turned away from him, letting out a soft gasp as she spotted a bee hive ahead. Curiosity overcame her, as she instantly forgot her promise and shouted, “What's that?!” She ran toward it without a second thought and Marco watched her go tiredly, a worried frown on his face. He let out a long sigh, even as her screams reached his ears. “Ahhh, Marco help! I broke it and now the bugs are all angry at me!”

“It's gonna be a long day,” Marco muttered dejectedly.

[repallication]

Himiko is a Hero: Chapter 4

Vs Hitoshi Shinso

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"Ta-da! It's the kind of Toga that is super duper ready for school! School Toga!"

The twin bunned girl excitedly shouted her debut to the joint kitchen-living room of the Tsukauchi residence while proudly donning her school uniform. She spun her way into the kitchen like a wound-up top.

"Was that makeup enough Toga? If you need more, we could go shopping some time." inquired Makoto who was sitting on the couch and typing on her laptop.

"Yup! This is all I need to look super cute for now!" Toga responded, pointing at her eyes.

"Do I need to walk you to school or do you remember the way?" Naomasa said between bites of the bacon and eggs he was having for breakfast at the kitchen table.

"I've got it. It's not that far." she responded while sitting across from him and digging into her own identical breakfast.

“It won’t run away. You don’t have to eat like that.” Naomasa commented.

Toga gave no answer and continued with her rapid eating until it was all gone.

“All done! I’m off!” Toga said jumping up from her seat and adjusting her backpack straps.

“Have a good day, Toga. I’ll be ready for you when you get home.” Makoto said, smiling.

“Sounding like paparazzi will never work, Makoto.”

Makoto shrugged at her big brother’s remark while Toga giggled and exited the front door. Despite the tracking device still attached to her arm, she was able to take a deep breath and skip down the street feeling free. No more Mr. Cop to look after her. She went about her way down the streets to school, retracing the steps she took yesterday in reverse.

“Out of the way! Don’t let that man escape!”

A loud voice was booming from somewhere further down the street. Toga’s curiosity was piqued as the crowd infront of her parted and something lovely appeared. There was a man running straight towards her with his black hood up and gripping his bloodied left arm. Eyes being drawn instantly to what his hand was attempting to hide while running through the crowd ahead, a malicious grin came across Toga’s face. The man attempted to run directly through Toga by pushing her to the side, but Toga was one step ahead and stepped to the side at the last moment while also tripping him up. Caught completely off-guard, he fell face-first to the ground while instinctively trying to brace himself with his hands. Toga started giggling and kneeled down next to him and put her hand to his now uncovered bloodied arm.

“I saw you bleeding and I just couldn’t let you get away. Mind if I have some?” she asked in a quiet tone, only for the man to hear.

Before the man reacted at all to Toga’s inquiry, a hero with yellow and black caution pattern bracelets appeared and ushered Toga back.

“Step away, citizen! That’s a dangerous villain! Don’t worry about his injuries, they will be attended to shortly.” said the hero in an attempt to soothe what he thought Toga’s intentions were.

In no position to oppose and with nothing else to gain, Toga complied and slipped away into the appearing crowd before the hero could pose her any further questions. The small bit of blood she licked from her palm while walking away was enough to temporarily sate her, but she did wish for more.

Upon arriving at school, Toga was confronted by another crowd. Tons of people with cameras infront of the school gate were doing something. Pouting and keeping her distance, Toga took notice that they were reporters and were stopping to try and interrogate other students.

“Annoying… I’ll just use my quirk then!”

Toga’s pout turned to a smile as a fun thought came to her mind. She loved getting to use her quirk and a perfect opportunity just appeared in front of her.

“Excuse me… Let me pass… I have a delivery...”

A man with a black hood bumped shoulders through the cloud of reporters, gripping a yellow backpack to his chest and mumbling. The reporters that saw him were disgusted and mostly doubting his clearance. Much to their shock, the moment he reached the giant closed gate that guarded U.A, the doors opened. The man smirked and stepped through. As reporters recognized their error in ignoring him and attempted to inquire, the gates shut once again to repel them.

Toga ran through the halls of U.A., going straight to her target before classes started. 1-A. She landed in her usual hiding place and peeked in through a convenient window in the hallway. Izuku was sitting in his chair writing in his notebook. Toga stared intently, with a smile on her face wondering what it was. Then he took out his phone and started typing as if he just remembered something. What was he typing? Who was it to? Toga’s mind started filling up with possibilities. Until someone approached Izuku. He flipped out and nearly fell out of his chair while turning beat red. How cute. Toga then looked to the source of Izuku’s spasms. She recognized the girl as Ochako Uraraka. Before seeing what she was up to, Toga felt her phone buzz. Not usually one to be on the receiving end of texts, she checked it right away. Her eyes lit up upon seeing the sender on the lock screen.

“It’s… It’s…! Izuku~” Toga squealed a bit and ducked underneath the window.

His first text to her! It had to be super special! He must have spent at least as long as she did thinking of what to say! Izuku was just so smart that he figured out what to say before her. She read the message after taking a deep breath.

“Don’t forget to go see Vlad King in the teacher’s office, okay? If you need help with anything just let me know.”

Before she could type anything back to the contact named “My Dear Izuku”, a voice spoke to her.

“Get a text from a loved one?”

“Yeah yeah! How’d you know?” Toga’s energetic and hyper smile stuttered as she looked up to see who asked the question.

The door to 1-C slammed open and for the second day in a row Toga was dragged into the room while struggling against Midnight’s whip.

“Don’t forget, little chicks. Your homeroom teacher is Always. Watching.” Midnight said as she reached the podium and cracked her whip to release Toga.

The released Toga scampered off to her seat like a stray animal running away from animal control services.

“Also, with multiple infractions like this...” Midnight displayed Toga’s phone infront of the class, dozens of keychains and all. “I might just send my own text next time.”

She ended her morning warning with a wink that made the class shutter. Toga grumbled to herself with her face on the desk about not getting to text Izuku back.

“On to homeroom! I have two important announcements. Firstly, one that some of you already know. About the other courses. Alot of students see getting into General Studies as failing to get into any other course and give up. But my little chicks should know that is further than the truth! All U.A. students are under constant and intense review. With outstanding performance and grades, any of you can move up to whatever course you want. Including the hero course.”

With Midnight’s first announcement to the class, whispers started spreading around. Questions about what “outstanding performance” meant, boasts about P.E. accomplishments yesterday and so on spread around the room. Hope, misty but palpable, filled 1-C.

“Seeing all you chicks… growing into fully grown chickens… achieving all your potential...”

The murmurs subsided as the students saw their teacher shuddering and holding her shoulders. Most blushed or looked away.

“T...The second thing… Ms. Midnight.” eked a timid voice from somewhere behind Toga. It was only audible due to the relative silence.

“Oh yes, ahem.” responded Midnight, coming back to her senses. “The second announcement is that you all will choose a class president today.”

A moment of silence passed and Midnight considered repeating herself. But then the class erupted into shouts and raised hands all requesting to be the president. The mist had ignited into a burning flame, just as Midnight had hoped. One boy, with raised right hand, stood up. Merely him standing was enough to suppress the burgeoning class spirit.

Midnight pointed at the boy as if he had just won something. “Have something to say Shinso? Please, you have the floor.”

“How many of you wanted to be in the hero course?”

Shinso asked a plain and straight forward question the moment he was given the floor. Most of the class’s hands raised in response. Toga kept her hand down and watched the purple haired boy as he looked around the class. His glare was calm yet intense. It was meant to crush. Toga had seen that kind of look before.

“That’s what I thought… If all of us wanted to be heroes, then it only makes sense that the leader of the class, the one most likely to have “outstanding performance”, should be the best hero candidate. They should be decided by showing their strength, 1 on 1, against the rest of the class. That way the person with the strongest desire to be a hero will be able to use everyone else beneath them as stepping stones.”

Silence covered the room as everyone thought on Shinso’s words and his declaration of war to his own class. Everyone could tell that he intended to be the winner with “the strongest desire to be a hero” who could “use everyone beneath them”. Midnight broke the silence with energetic shouting.

“ALRIGHT EVERYONE! GET IN YOUR P.E. UNIFORMS AND LETS DO IT!”

In full compliance to their eager teacher, Class 1-C found themselves in the P.E grounds gathered around a large circle drawn in the dirt.

“Alright chickees. It’s an opt-in 1 on 1 fight. Match starts as soon as two people are inside the circle. Whoever is incapacitated and gives or leaves the circle first is marked as a loser. The winner can then decide if they want to continue fighting or bow out. The loser however can not participate in another fight. After everyone that wants to show off does so, there will be a vote for the class president. Just having a tournament would take too long and I want to make sure the class agrees on the president. So this is the most time effective and representative way.”

The class nodded as Midnight gave the explanation and reasoning for the fighting that was about to occur.

“Remember our school motto. The surest way to reach your desires.” Midnight finished and stepped out of the circle to watch without saying the motto itself.

Toga had no idea what the school motto was. She sprawled out on the ground and watched the fights. Since she couldn’t cause enough bleeding bare handed to be interesting, Toga decided to just watch. The first person in the ring was the boy who suggested the fight. Hitoshi Shinso. The same process happened about 5 times with him. A student stepped in, Shinso insulted them, and they walked out. Looking around Toga saw the fear and apprehension present in the students as Shinso cruelly defeated the opponents before him without even lifting a finger. The lack of blood from fighting annoyed her, but Shinso’s demeanor towards their classmates was what really sparked her into action. A 6th student pensively rose, but Toga hopped into the arena before them.

“I’m next!” she said, skipping in with her hands behind her back.

“_Oooh. Himiko Toga.” _Midnight thought to herself while watching the development. “I let Shinso go first because of his Quirk. I wonder if you have a plan...”

Shinso glared directly at the smiling girl that entered the circle.

“Himiko Toga. The girl who-”

Before Shinso finished his sentence, a rock hit him directly on the forehead. His vision was forced skyward by the impact. He shook it off and returned his gaze forward only to find that his opponent was gone. A bead of sweat went done his face while looking from side to side to locate his enemy.

“Ru-”

This time only the first sound of his question got out before he was forced to the ground from behind, with his arm bent behind his back and his face forced into the dirt. Shinso attempted to move his right arm and lift his head, but both were securely restrained by the girl on his back.

“A wimp.” Toga said while bending his arm further with the intent to cause pain. “Looking down on peers when he is the weakest. It’s really lame to not be able to fight back at all like this when you pretended you were better than everyone else.”

Her usual smile was gone and her tone was drier, closer to that of the person whose back she mounted and arm she was twisting. Shinso let out grunts of pain before finding words.

“Are you…. enjoying this?” he managed to say under the duress of Toga’s assault.

“Not as much as I should.” Toga responded.

Her whole body then froze and Shinso smirked, despite his unfavourable position physically.

Quirk: Brainwash. Anyone who verbally responds to him is instantly brainwashed and will do whatever he commands! However, the brainwashing doesn’t activate if he doesn’t will it!

“Now. Let me go and step out of the ring.” he whispered, so that only Toga would hear.

Toga did just as commanded. The class watched, not sure what to think or do after seeing the first person to truly stand up to Shinso, fail. Midnight silently watched over them. Still under the effects of Shinso’s quirk, Toga blankly stared off in the opposite direction of the ring. After catching his breath, Shinso rose from the ground.

“Since she walked out first, I’m the winner. Anyone else?”

In response to his question, a timid looking person stepped up with their hands cupped together infront of themselves. They were shivering clearly, and looked down instead of at Shinso.

“You are the one who got the worst P.E scores yesterday. Going to try throwing something like Toga? It won’t make me budge an inch with your strength.” Shinso said after analyzing the person before him in yet another attempt to activate his quirk.

The person took a deep breath, looked up, and threw the rock they were previously cupping in their hands. Sure that his deduction about his opponents’ strength and physical ability was apt, Shinso saw no need to dodge. The measly pebble made direct contact with Shinso’s center of mass, most likely on accident. When it did, Shinso was knocked back off his feet with intense force and speed, hitting the immobile Toga back-first. The rest of the class was wide awake in surprise after seeing such a feat.

Midnight licked her lips and thought to herself. “Now that’s some good Plus Ultra.”

“G...get offa me… I’m not into this position….” a recently awakened and pained Toga said with her face pressed against the ground due to Shinso’s weight.

Being rather low in physicality himself, Shinso’s lungs were empty after the previous attack knocked the air out of him. The best he could do was roll over, leaving both of them face down to the earth, side by side. Toga managed to twist her neck enough so that her cheek was to the ground instead, allowing her to look at Shinso.

“Why does my back hurt… It hurts to move, Wimpso.” she mumbled out her questions to the boy beside him that was in similar, if not more, pain.

After forcing his own cheek to the ground, he gave Toga a response.

“I used my Quirk on you. I can control anyone that verbally responds to me. I told you to walk out of circle. The next person to step in beat me. That’s it.”

At the end of his brief explanation, Toga opened her mouth to speak but quickly shut it and glared at him judgingly while pouting.

“I won’t use my Quirk. Speak freely.” he said in response to the face she was making.

“I don’t like you, Wimpso. You didn’t punch or hit anyone.” she half-mumbled while still pouting.

“Is that your complaint about the way I acted…?” Shinso asked, a bit dumbfounded but none of that emotion showing in his voice.

“Yeah! Fighting is no fun without any cute bloodshed...”

“Then why didn’t you try to make me bleed?”

“Cuz… I wanted to hurt you because you were acting like a dumby wimp, trying to beat up people weaker than you.” she silently stared at Shinso for a moment before continuing in a more upbeat inflection. “And there wasn’t anything around to stab you with so I just walked around and did that.” Toga finished, explaining her reasoning while sitting up and crossing her legs.

“Walked around?” he said, with increased anger in his voice due to the lackidasical way she described what she did. Those blessed with powerful Quirks always made their achievements seem like child’s play. “That isn’t what happened and you know it. You used your Quirk to vanish and-”

“Nope. I just forced you to look up then walked around. Since you’re right handed, you looked to your right when you first noticed I was gone. That’s why I walked past on your left.”

“How did you know I am-”

Toga interrupted his next question by forcibly “helping” him off his belly flat position and into a criss-cross one like her. He let out a few grunts of pain and asked her to stop, but Toga just giggled before answering him.

“You raised your right hand in class earlier.”

The two watched the rest of the fights unfold infront of them without exchanging anymore words. After about 4 or so more bouts, the ring found itself empty. Midnight stepped into the center of everyone’s view in the impromptu arena.

“Everyone show off their moxie? If so… NEXT UP IS VOTING! Feel free to vote as many times as you want for whoever you thought really is worthy of class president.”

Midnight then proceeded to call each student’s name, one by one, by going around the circle. The called upon student would stand up and then everyone who wanted them to be class president would raise their hand. Most students got 3 to 4 votes. The person who knocked out Shinso with a rock got about 50% of the class to vote for them. Then it was Shinso’s turn.

“Raise your hand for Hitoshi Shinso!” Midnight shouted to 1-C.

“Before that.” Shinso cut Midnight off and bowed to his class. “I apologize. For attacking you all when we all want the same thing. To prove those above us wrong. I won’t get in the way of my equal’s goals anymore.”

Once again, Shinso forced silence amongst his peers. This time however, it was out of deep understanding instead of intimidation.

“Such a heartfelt apology delivered by the scariest boy in the class… What a turn on~”

The class did their best to ignore Midnight’s mood-shattering outburst. Once they did, the outcome of the vote was obvious.

“Oh? Is that nearly 100% in favor?” Midnight said looking around at her class.

Her deduction was correct. The only person that didn’t raise their hand was Toga.

“Alrighty then. It seems like the class president is all but locked in. But perhaps our last candidate has something to say about it. Something to rise above-”

“GET ON WITH IT!” multiple students shouted out in response to Midnight’s stalling and dragged-out preamble.

“I’M THE TEACHER HERE!” she snapped back at the class while also snapping her whip in the air. “HIMIKO TOGA!”

Toga stood up, her smile rekindled. She got to see a bit of blood in the later fights, hurt Shinso, and Izuku was back on her brain, so she was chipper. The class response caught her happy mode off guard.

“That looks like 75% to me...” said the seated, purple haired boy beside her.

“Huh? What?” Toga looked around at everyone while expressing her confusion at the result.

“Let me explain!” the gray finger tipped boy from their class jumped up. “Toga! It’s just like an RPG! And you are the hero who beat the evil overlord and forced them to have a change of heart so that we can fight the real enemy that is bigger than us all!”

“I’m like an evil overlord huh...” Shinso cut in.

The explanation came out too quickly for Toga to take in before Midnight snapped her whip and spoke again.

“Alright little chicks! There you have! Hitoshi Shinso as Class President and Himiko Toga as Vice President. Now! Off to second period!”

Everyone except the befuddled Toga shared in one thought as Midnight ushered her students back to their classroom.

“What happened to first period?”

<<PREV   NEXT>>

[aion-rsa]

Why the GoldenEye 007 Remaster Was Cancelled

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If you’ve been keeping an eye on video game social media over the last few days, you’ve probably spotted this video of a YouTuber playing a remaster of GoldenEye 007.

While many people were quick to call this remaster “fake” or merely a fan-made tribute, recent evidence strongly suggests that this is the remains of an official attempt to remaster GoldenEye 007. Naturally, that information has left many people wondering why such an incredible remaster of such a beloved game never saw the light of day despite the fact that it appears to be nearly finished.

The answer to that question is complicated, controversial, and heartbreaking for legions of GoldenEye 007 fans who have been waiting for the chance to play one of the best multiplayer experiences ever released on a Nintendo console. Ultimately, though, it’s a story you have to hear.

What is the GoldenEye 007 Remaster?

The GoldenEye 007 remaster is an updated version of the 1997 N64 classic. It appears to be the same game content-wise (aside from a few additional multiplayer maps and a couple of relatively minor features), but it has been updated to feature 60 FPS gameplay, a 16:9 ratio, and various visual improvements. It’s been said that the remaster was designed similarly to the Halo remasters, which is to say that a team essentially just swapped out a few parts of the original ROM. Like those Halo games, the Goldeneye 007 remaster even offers the ability to swap between the old and new visuals on the fly.

The reason we know so much about this remaster (and the reason it’s been in the news lately) is that a YouTuber called Graslu00 uploaded a full playthrough of the seemingly lost project. While footage of the remaster had been uploaded online before (more on that in a bit), this was the first time that most people outside of Rare had seen it played from start to finish.

The extent of that footage (as well as the quality of the remaster itself) inspired many fans to ask new questions about this canceled remaster that many people long suspected had been abandoned before it could be completed.

When Was the GoldenEye 007 Remaster Developed?

Before we go further, now is the time to clarify that some of the answers to these questions are based on loose information and more than a little speculation.

With that out of the way, the public conversation about this remaster really heated up in 2008 when EGM’s rumor mill turned out a brief mention of a GoldenEye remaster that had seemingly been canceled by Rare. A 2008 article from 1UP elaborates on this story by suggesting that the game was just a couple of months away from being released on XBLA for Xbox 360 before the plug was pulled. Uncovered files suggest that work on the remaster began as early as 2007.

However, there are a couple of details in that story that don’t gel with what we know now. For instance, the 1UP article notes that the “XBLA version would have featured the same graphics, maps, and weapons from the N64 version” and that the big selling point would have been the “crucial addition of online multiplayer over Xbox Live.” That doesn’t seem to describe the footage of the remaster that we’ve seen years later.

So far as that goes, there are two things to consider. The first is that some of the information available in 2008 was simply incorrect. This really seems like the most likely factor given how much information on this subject was known at that time.

It should also be noted that the remaster itself has been improved in some ways by modern emulators. While I won’t name drop some of the emulators and uploaders involved with this process, it’s clear that some of the visual fidelity that we see in these uploads wouldn’t have existed in 2008.

Still, the bulk of the remaster footage certainly seems to be based on the game that Rare quietly worked on sometime around 2007 and ultimately had to abandon just a few months before it could have been released.

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Why Was the GoldenEye 007 Remaster Cancelled?

Unlike some of the details regarding the GoldenEye 007 remaster’s development, we actually know quite a bit about why it never got released simply due to the fact that Rare has talked about it a lot over the years.

For instance, in a 2008 interview with Videogamer.com, Rare engineer Nick Burton clearly stated that the game’s cancellation ultimately came down to licensing:

“I kind of wished that the differences got sorted out, but obviously there’s the licensing issue for Bond, even if it’s something that’s already come out,” said Burton. “It’s incredibly hard to solve because there are so many license holders involved. You’ve got the guys that own the license to the gaming rights now, the guys that have the license to Bond as an IP, and there are umpteen licensees. Me, just personally, I thought, ‘God, that’s a difficult problem to solve.'”

Over the years, the narrative regarding those licensing problems boiled down to the idea that Nintendo and Microsoft (who owned Rare by the time this remaster was in development) simply couldn’t agree on a deal that allowed either to re-release GoldenEye. This story is seemingly supported by a 2006 MTV interview with Reggie Fils-Aime in which the former Nintendo of America president stated that he’d “love to see [GoldenEye 007] on virtual console” but that “there are a lot of issues there.”

That quote reinforces the idea that between Rare being a Microsoft owned company, Nintendo publishing the original GoldenEye 007, and EA and Activision controlling the gaming rights to the Bond franchise in later years, there were just too many moving pieces that had to come together for the remaster or a re-release to ever happen.

What’s interesting is that many people seem to think that the reason Rare couldn’t release the GoldenEye 007 remaster on XBLA or as part of the Rare Replay collection is simply that Nintendo ultimately failed to give the port their blessing. That idea makes some sense as it would seem that Microsoft and Nintendo would be the two major players involved in a deal over that specific Bond game. On top of that, a remake of GoldenEye 007 that was published by Activision was released exclusively on Nintendo Wii in 2010. That remake reinforced the suggestion that Nintendo ultimately blocked the Goldeneye 007 remaster from being released.

cnx.cmd.push(function() { cnx({ playerId: "106e33c0-3911-473c-b599-b1426db57530", }).render("0270c398a82f44f49c23c16122516796"); });

Is Nintendo Really to Blame for the GoldenEye 007 Remaster Never Being Released?

While Nintendo does seem to be a factor in this story, leaker Graslu00 shut down the idea that this is all Nintendo’s fault in an extensive message that they recently reposted on Twitter.

I've updated the pinned comment on my longplay video regarding "Nintendo and the cancellation of XBLA". I'd appreciate it if you gave it a read before saying that Nintendo is the main issue and I misunderstood or simplified the problem, I did not. Thank you. pic.twitter.com/79wPyHEU8r

— Graslu00 (@Graslu00) January 31, 2021

If you can’t read that message, it basically says that even if Nintendo and Microsoft had struck a deal, they’d still have to deal with MGM and Eon Productions who had their own concerns about James Bond video games. Those concerns may have required Rare to alter the original GoldenEye in ways that would have almost certainly hurt the game in the minds of many fans. The idea of a remaster of GoldenEye with “no cheats, no use of Bond theme, and no good vs good characters in multiplayer” certainly doesn’t sound appealing.

While there is some debate regarding the exact content restrictions placed on Bond games, this isn’t the first time we’ve heard of such restrictions. In a 2020 interview with GamesIndustry.biz, Adam Foshko (Activision’s director of story development when they controlled the Bond gaming rights) explains that making Bond games requires adhering to certain ideas of the character.

“Bond is unique because the IP holders have a very particular view on Bond as a character and how he should be used,” said Foshko. “Having worked with them, it’s more about: ‘How does Bond get out of a situation?’ rather than: ‘Can Bond shoot a guy in the face?’ It comes down to the goals and things that are unique and special about Bond in particular — even though people would like to play Bond in a situation.”

Restrictions aside, the other factor that doesn’t get referenced all that much is Rare’s interest in such a project. In a 2015 interview with Polygon, Rare operations director Drew Quakenbush noted that one of the reasons GoldenEye wasn’t included in the Rare Replay collection is that the studio chose to focus on “characters and worlds that Rare made independently” when selecting the games for that collection. He says that the issue “wasn’t necessarily licensing” and that “GoldenEye doesn’t really fit tightly in with that particular boundary that we put on there.”

Even if licensing is more of an issue than Rare was willing to suggest, this idea that Rare wants to somewhat distance themselves from GoldenEye certainly isn’t new. In that 2008 interview with VideoGamer.com, Nick Burton is asked “Does GoldenEye almost haunt the studio?” Here is his response:

“No, not at all. I wouldn’t say indifference. It’s nice to see people still talk about it. But I also think, and a lot of us think this, that you look back at it and it’s still good fun to play, but if I played it now with my gaming tastes as refined as they are now, would I still have the same reaction or have I really got rose-tinted spectacles on? It’s almost impossible to separate one from the other. I still look at it and think, no, it’s got great level design for instance, but then you think I’m saying that because maybe the control feels really good, but it’s not perfect. But it’s not perfect because the frame rate wasn’t high enough. It’s very difficult to separate your memory. As someone coined at work the other week. ‘You need some brain bleach’ so you can get rid of the memory.”

From everything I’ve seen, the issue basically comes down to a combination of licensing problems, content restrictions, and willingness. The long and short of it is that many people see GoldenEye 007 as a time capsule that has proven to be especially difficult to dig up and preserve.

Can You Play the GoldenEye 007 Remaster?

Recently, outlets and players have revealed that a full, working version of the GoldenEye 007 remaster has been leaked online and is currently playable.

While the process of downloading and playing the game is complicated and almost certainly wouldn’t be approved by anyone with controlling interest in this game’s license, it’s already clear that the game files are rapidly spreading online and is generally well-received by fans so far despite its obvious rough edges.

It should also be noted that those interested in playing a more modern version of GoldenEye should absolutely check out the GoldenEye: Source fan project which remakes the N64 game using Valve’s Source engine. It’s a brilliant experiment that almost perfectly captures nearly everything that made GoldenEye 007 special while updating the game in ways that even this remaster necessarily does not.

The post Why the GoldenEye 007 Remaster Was Cancelled appeared first on Den of Geek.

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[verdiprati]

Hi there! (I love this blog btw, God bless) I'm not an opera expert, hence the anon, but a theatre buff who would very much like to hear your thoughts on Brett Dean's Hamlet if you feel like it ...

Greetings, Anon! Thank you for the compliment on my blog, and thanks for sending me a question! I like to chat and discuss stuff.

I’m not sure if you’ve seen Brett Dean’s Hamlet or not so I am not sure how much context I need to give for my remarks. I will take a stab at this, though.

The first thing I’d observe about Dean’s Hamlet is that it assumes its audience is already very familiar with the play. I think it’s watchable even if you do not know the play well, but sort of like Tom Stoppard’s Rosencrantz and Guildenstern are Dead, it is aimed at people who have probably read the play in school and seen multiple stage performances and/or movie adaptations of it, and who may be able to quote some of the more famous lines from memory. Hamlet is one of the most performed and most adapted pieces of theater in the world; Brett Dean and the librettist Matthew Jocelyn are well aware of that, and do not respond by trying to make the ultimate, most perfect adaptation, but rather by making something new yet recognizable, with plenty of in-jokes. 

As you may know, they sort of put the text(s) through a blender. Many famous lines and familiar characters were completely cut out; other lines were re-ordered and re-assigned. A chorus, nonexistent in the Shakespeare play, was added; as well as making up the court of Elsinore, it functions like a classic Greek chorus, commenting on and amplifying the action, and also like an extension of the orchestra, sometimes adding eerie vocal effects to the overall tapestry of sound in the auditorium. The roles of Horatio and Marcellus are greatly reduced in the Dean/Jocelyn Hamlet while the presence of Rosencrantz and Guildenstern is increased in proportion to (what is left of) the rest of the play.

Probably my favorite thing about the Dean/Jocelyn adaptation of Hamlet is the fact that they deliberately selected bits and pieces of language from all three of the textual witnesses, including the so-called “bad quarto.” To back up and explain a little bit (with apologies if you know this stuff already): there is no one text of Hamlet. As with all the rest of Shakespeare’s plays, we have no manuscript in Shakespeare’s hand. What we have are various early printed editions of Shakespeare’s plays that could plausibly, in one way or another, have derived from a manuscript (or multiple manuscripts!) written by Shakespeare. In the case of Hamlet, there’s the 1603 quarto edition (Q1), the 1604 quarto (Q2), and the version included in the 1623 First Folio of Shakespeare’s plays (F1). The texts of Q2 and F1 are largely similar to each other and most modern editions of Hamlet are based on a melding of them, but Q1 is substantially shorter than the other two texts, a couple of the characters have different names, and some of the speeches are chopped up in ways that seem clearly erroneous (Hamlet’s “To be or not to be” speech is notoriously muddled in Q1). Thus Q1 has come to be known as a “bad quarto” and has traditionally been disparaged and discarded by editors trying to piece together an authoritatively Shakespearean version of Hamlet. 

There are various theories of how Q1 came to be so “bad.” I did my undergraduate thesis on the so-called “bad quarto” of Romeo and Juliet, so I spent a few months reading as much scholarship on the “bad quartos” as I could get my hands on. Some of the “bad quarto” theories are kind of crackpot. The generally-accepted explanation for how these texts came into existence, though, is piracy by memorial reconstruction: the idea is that a couple of actors in Shakespeare’s company would go to a printer and recite as much of the play as they could from memory. They would report their own parts pretty reliably, and they would have fair-to-good recall of other actors’ lines from the scenes they were in, but their recall would degrade for scenes where they were offstage. Moreover, cuts and other changes to the text might have been made in the theater in the process of bringing the play to the stage; these would be reflected in the “bad quarto” but not in other versions of the text deriving more directly from a manuscript penned by Shakespeare. On the plus side, the actors would sometimes supply stage directions in the “bad quartos” that were never specified in other textual witnesses, giving us some valuable clues about the action Shakespeare’s original audiences might actually have seen on the stage.

In recent years, there’s been some interest in reviving the so-called “bad quartos” as performance texts, with an eye towards accessing more “theatrical” versions of Shakespeare’s plays: my interest in the “bad quartos” was first hooked when I met a scholar of early modern performance studies who was directing a “bad quarto” performance of Romeo and Juliet at Oxford in the late ′90s. After finishing my Romeo and Juliet undergrad thesis, I headed off to a graduate program known for its strengths in textual studies, intending to continue in this academic vein. I actually ended up changing fields for my dissertation but I took enough graduate coursework in bibliography, textual criticism, and scholarly editing to achieve geekgasm when Dean and Jocelyn had characters alternately singing “solid” and “sullied”—a reference to a notorious editorial crux in Hamlet, one of the most famous scholarly editing problems of all time. (Here is just one person’s take on the matter.) I really enjoyed the fact that they not only used bits and pieces of Hamlet Q1 on an equal footing with pieces of Q2 and F1 but also took the spirit of a “theatrical” reading of the bad quartos as justification for their adaptation: in cutting and reordering the Hamlet scripts and reassigning many words to other characters, they were not doing anything that Shakespeare’s own company of actors didn’t do. (They did a lot more of it, though!)

Witty and intriguing little turns in the Dean/Jocelyn adaptation flew by too quickly for me to remember them all, but I remember having the impression that their version of Hamlet did a number of things to foreground the theatrical themes of the play. For instance, the whole episode of Hamlet’s trip to England was cut, but the play-within-a-play received lavish attention. (Amber Treadway composed an excellent tweet on “the most meta players scene ever.”) One tiny detail that I especially liked: Hamlet’s line “Do not saw the air too much with your hand,” from his instructions to the players, was relocated to the final duel, where it became a taunt from Hamlet to Laertes, calling attention to the aesthetic aspect of Laertes’ performance as a fencer.

By reducing the cast of soloists, minimizing some of the secondary roles, and completely cutting out all references to the Norwegian threat to the Danish state, Dean and Jocelyn shaped their version of Hamlet into a drama of two interlinked families. Hamlet, the Ghost, Claudius, and Gertrude make up one of the families; Polonius, Laertes, and Ophelia make up the other; and the two are linked by Hamlet and Ophelia’s broken romance. This adaptation foregrounds Gertrude’s tenderness towards Ophelia and Laertes; up until Hamlet gave them reasons to hate him, after all, Gertrude was planning and assuming that she would soon welcome them as new relatives by marriage. Throughout the Glyndebourne staging directed by Neil Armfield, Gertrude can frequently be seen literally reaching out to other characters, touching and caressing them; she is, in this version, a dedicated peacemaker, striving—up until the moment of her own poisoning, when she realizes that her husband intends to kill her son—to hold the court together.

Another interesting presence in this version was the triply-cast role of the ghost of old Hamlet, the first player, and the gravedigger, played memorably by Sir John Tomlinson for the premiere production. I liked the fact that the opera made use of role doubling, a longstanding theatrical practice that is believed to have been used by Shakespeare’s acting company. Besides being one of the elements that made the opera feel very “theatrical” to me, it also allowed the ghost of Hamlet’s father to sort of implicitly or symbolically stick around as an ally to Hamlet. The roles of the first player and the gravedigger stand outside the two-family structure I outlined above, but they fit into another structure of Dean’s Hamlet: Team Hamlet vs. Team Claudius. As Hamlet’s bonds with his immediate family and his girlfriend are rapidly eroded, he turns to figures like Horatio, Marcellus, the players, and the gravedigger for trustworthy information and companionship. As I already mentioned, the roles of Horatio and Marcellus are minimized in this adaptation, so the roles of the first player and the gravedigger take on proportionally greater importance (even though their lines are also reduced). 

Those are my thoughts on Brett Dean’s Hamlet, or at least, as many thoughts as I can write up in an evening. Feel free to send me your thoughts too, or ask follow-up questions!

[faggghaggg]

Russian viewers on "War and Peace"

Being bilingual and bicultural, I was curious to compare the Russian audience's responses to the miniseries with those of English and American viewers.  I expected huge differences, if only because the Russians study the novel in school, whereas relatively few English speakers had read it before watching the series. The results are below the cut.

The biggest surprise was that the overall rating was only 12% higher for the Western viewers – 82% on Rotten Tomatoes vs 70% on Russia's biggest review site.  The difference is in how those figures were arrived at.  The ratings on Rotten Tomatoes mostly fall in the 3.5/4-star range, with many 5's and a couple of 2's; the Russians typically give the show either 1 or 5 stars.  The dramatic discrepancy within the Russian ratings is mostly due to how people feel about the novel:  with a few notable exceptions, those who love it hated the series, and vice versa. There's also the everpresent paranoid category, convinced that any historical inaccuracies are just the BBC's efforts to paint Russia in the blackest possible light.  An additional minus for many Russians was the characters' overtly sexual behavior, from banging on the dinner table to public kissing and obvious flirting (we all know there was no sex in the Soviet Union, and apparently the same holds true for Russia today and in Tolstoy's times :))).  And another point that gave me a good laugh was that "these mongrel actors have no idea how aristocrats purported themselves":  considering that every other English actor is related to living nobility, and that the few Russian nobles that didn't flee the country before the Revolution were killed off 100 years ago, the Russians are certainly ones to lecture the English on aristocratic manners. :))

What delighted me, though, were the similarities in the Russian and Western takes on the details (I got most of the English views from the comments under The Guardian's episode reviews).  The biggest complaint, for both, was that the series looked less Tolstoy than Jane Austen, that the faces were clearly English vs. Russian, and that the Russian soul of the novel had been lost.  However, where few Westerners were in a position to argue with those accusations, a number of Russian voices popped up to disagree, expressing amazement as to where the BBC found all those Russian-looking actors and how the darned foreigners managed to so perfectly capture the novel's Russian soul.  Among the people who've read the novel, opinions on whether the series cast did justice to their prototypes were divided along the same lines – about 50/50 for both Western and Russian viewers, with some surprising agreement on the individual actors.  Anatole Kuragin caught the most flak:  the far-from-classically-handsome Callum Turner, who must have been cast for his sex appeal, left most of the international female audiences unimpressed (Tuppence Middleton as Anatole's sister, on the other hand, benefited from the lust she apparently inspires in Western males, but was uniformly reviled by the Russians for coming across like an expensive whore).  Jim Broadbent, whom the English adore generally but some found too "nice" as Bolkonsky Sr., was wholly embraced in the role by the Russians. And the two actors who got the most international love were Jessie Buckley an Marya and Paul Dano as Pierre.  Here is some of the Russian praise for bae, in my translation.

Pierre Bezukhov as played by Paul Dano is a direct hit. Actually, I imagined him a little differently – heavier and not as open, not as daring.  But I like the series' Pierre more than the one in my head.  I think that's exactly how he should be – plain, clumsy, awkward, but with charming facial expressions and kind eyes.  Trying to be sincere and honest and always making a fool of himself. Terribly shy at times, but formidable and dangerous as a bear if you really provoke him.  To be honest, when I studied "War and Peace" and later read it on my own, I didn't really get Pierre.  He struck me as odd, and his adventures during Borodino and the burning of Moscow seemed stupid.  But now I really love the character.  Looking at this Pierre, you really understand that appearances don't matter, that you can put on the outward signs of nobility – the right name, expensive clothes, military glory, a head held high – but all of it fades next to the radiant goodness this character emanates when he forgives Prince Vasily and Helene or cries in the arms of Dolokhov.

Pierre is beyond all praise.  Thanks to this performance, the character finally came alive for me.

What I did like was Paul Dano's work.  He's a diamond that could truly shine in the hands of a good director.

No wonder all the critics unanimously loved this Pierre.  Paul Dano did a magnificent job showing the character's evolution from a timid babe in the woods to a confident, forthright and noble man.  Bravo!

Pierre Bezukhov as played by Paul Dano, whom I've liked since "Youth", is the show's only virtue.  It feels like he stepped off the pages of the book.

Paul Dano disappears inside his character.  He singlehandedly carries the show and saves it.

I skipped through the first couple of episodes cause I didn't like how the actors looked.  But then I got hooked on Pierre Bezukhov.  Paul Dano's acting is so sincere!

Pierre's acting is pure joy, though somebody needs to give him a sandwich.

Now I know where the old Russian series fucked up.  The director was 40 years old, so when he played Bezukhov he came across as a pussy-whipped cuck.  But now I get it.  Bezukhov's a young guy who comes into his money and title out of nowhere.  He didn't do anything to deserve it, which is why he's got all these hangups.

Bezukhov blew me away.  He was adorable and did a super job, but I have one criticism.  The actor doesn't know how a man gets drunk in general, and a Russian man in particular.

I loved Pierre.  Dano's such a talented boy, and he worked so hard!

Dano's insight into his character is so deep.  I'm always so happy when actors who know nothing about Tolstoy's philosophy or the Russian mentality unexpectedly do such a great job.

That moment in the ballroom when he speaks up for the revolution had me worried that he'd get thrown out – and I know the book! That's how convincing he was.

My most important discovery in the series was Paul Dano. He's got to be the best Pierre Bezukhov to ever grace the screen.  Every scene he was in just burst with dramatic tension.  Even when he was silent, all his emotions were written on his face so clearly that I cried just looking at him.

Paul Dano deserves his own topic.  I recognized Pierre at first sight. BRAVO, Paul!  You're the only thing that made that crap worth watching.

Pierre was exactly as I imagined him, and Paul Dano is charm on legs.

Pierre Bezukhov was awesome.  I agree with all the previous posts that he was the best Pierre ever.  Give the man an Oscar!

His Russian eyes…  I believed Pierre completely, without a shadow of doubt.  He was the most Russian of them all.

I was just stunned by Paul Dano's performance.  I knew him from an old favorite, "The Girl Next Door", where he didn't even play the lead.  But what he does in "War and Peace"…  His Pierre is mesmerizing, completely out of this world.

But the best thing was Paul Dano.  Masculinity at its finest.

Pierre Bezukhov (Paul Dano) just floored me.  He was so real in his ignorance of life, so heartbreakingly lost. Those sad puppy eyes convinced me 100%. A brilliant performance.

Pierre is a miracle.  The very miracle that all the previous adaptations of the novel lacked.

[phosphorescent-naidheachd]

_____ said:

on one level i will always enjoy watching a cool lady ride jon's face or w/e so i am not anti-dany getting some of the old King In The North. otoh - the whole epic meet cute destined thing is too grand for me. it's like an archetype? i prefer how rooted and grounded and layered jon/sansa is as a ship - everything has resonance and a kind of unexpected joy, like Persuasion, where neither person thought they could repair the past and find happiness and yet happiness is there for them. it's just more my jam. i hope jonsa shippers have enough to work with for fic purposes after the show ends

another thing - i wish dany could have a male family member who doesn't want to bang her, especially given that monster of a brother she had... jon is a wonderful family member. i wish they could have been that to each other 

^^^

I’m not inherently against J0n3rys -- written as an epic ‘our fates were written in the stars long before our birth’ archetypical relationship or not -- as long as it’s executed in such a fashion that feels true to the characters and that resonates emotionally with me... but I highly doubt D&D are going to manage to do that. I have approximately 0.12% trust in them as writers/directors and that’s a generous estimate. Add in the fact that D&D have a fairly limited amount of screen time to build a J0n3rys relationship up from nothing, and the chances of D&D sacrificing true character/relationship development on the altar of expediency rise considerably... as do the chances for an increased amount of ‘telling’ rather than ‘showing’. Just my opinion, though.

GRRM isn’t perfect, but -- partially because of the medium, partially due to his own skills -- his writing of the J0n3rys relationship will doubtless be a lot more nuanced and believable when the characters finally meet in the books.

Actually, one thing that’s really neat about Jon’s relationship with Dany (and with Sansa, among a few other characters!) is all of the narrative parallels and contrasts drawn between their individual experiences. I recently read a piece that argued that GRRM isn’t just deconstructing fantasy tropes with ASOIAF, he’s also very much reconstructing them -- “not tearing the genre apart so much as reminding readers of why it was worth falling in love with in the first place” -- and that really struck me. I like to think that if J0n3rys does end up being endgame in the books, GRRM will use his particular “existential brand of romanticism” to make that archetype feel fresh and real and worthwhile.

Ughhh, I feel you there. Dany deserves kind, platonic, supportive family members. Like Jon, she’s always had a strong longing for a home and family and belonging, and Jon (and through him, perhaps some of the other Starks too) could really fill that role well under the right circumstances. Which isn’t to say that he couldn’t still fill that familial role in a romantic/sexual capacity, but it’s not quite the same thing, y’know? As you said, Dany has never really had someone love her who doesn’t want to bang her (maybe Missandei, but I always thought there was a faintly femslashy subtext between the two of them on the show), and I think it would be good for her to have that kind of relationship in her life.

My feelings re: show!J0n3rys are a lot more complicated than my feelings re: book!J0n3rys, mainly because my feelings re: show!Dany herself are very conflicted. I think most of the criticisms leveled at Dany by the fandom contain validity, but I also think that most of those criticisms are also strongly influenced by fandom’s sexism/misogyny and its attendant double standards. I think that Dany -- both in the books and on the show -- is a very complex character, and frankly I don’t think D&D really get that; I think they see her purely as The Once Underdog, Now Conquering Heroine(TM), and that the GOT narrative is going to reflect this sadly limited viewpoint.

I have a lot of sympathy for Dany’s position and understand why she acts as she does; her traumatic past and the culture(s) in which she was brought up have absolutely shaped who she is today: her fears, her desires, and her methods of achieving those desires. I would also argue that although show!Dany is pretty self-centered, she generally has good intentions. Nonetheless, I’ve become less and less a fan of show!Dany over the years. I have issues with some of the choices she’s made, with her frequent (albeit unintentional on her part) hypocrisy, and with the racist undertones both GRRM and D&D have (accidentally?) inserted into some of her major story arcs (indeed, to the point where I have a hard time mentally separating her from said arcs). If Dany undergoes further character growth that positively alters how she acts going forward, my feelings towards her may change again, but in the meantime… I don’t know. As I said: it’s complicated, and my thoughts about her sometimes even vary from episode to episode. (Heaven knows my thoughts & feelings re: Tyrion and Jaime often shift depending on the episode lol. But that’s a topic for another time.)

I don’t want to see Dany humiliated and humbled, the way many antis do, but I also don’t want to see her as she currently is on the Iron Throne, the way most stans do. I don’t believe she’s insane or currently in danger of becoming insane, as many antis think, nor do I believe that she’s an unusually cruel/terrible/[insert negative term here] ruler and warrior for the society in which she lives. However, none of this makes her inherently the best person to rule Westeros, either. 

Although it isn’t entirely Dany’s fault, she knows almost nothing about Westeros -- past or present -- and what little she does know was understandably given to her through a pretty pro-Targaryen lens; this lack of understanding of facts -- and more crucially, of attitudes -- will serve her (and more importantly Westeros) very poorly if she ever becomes Queen of the Seven Kingdoms. Yes, having Westerosi advisors can help, but only so much. The monarchy of Westeros doesn’t seem to have much in the way of checks and balances, after all, outside of ‘it’s probably not a good idea to offend any of the major Houses too badly and definitely not multiple Houses at the same time’. Dany is still relatively inexperienced at ruling and is certainly more than capable of learning and improving... the question is whether she’ll allow herself to. Especially now that she has the ultimate power in the form of fully-grown dragons, which makes it even more difficult and dangerous to question or challenge her actions than it would a dragonless monarch like Robert Baratheon.

(Although, since we’re mentioning Robert Baratheon... I get the sense that Dany, like Robert, much prefers the fighting and ceremonial parts of being monarch over the day-to-day administrative parts. YMMV.)

It’s my opinion that Dany has gotten increasingly good at convincing herself that her personal desires are actually selfless and/or inevitable, that her way is the Right Way, that too much compromise is weakness, and that an increased volume and degree of violence on her part is both justified and necessary. This is an excellent piece of meta on the subject; although it’s about book!Dany, it’s still by and large applicable to show!Dany too... in fact, I would argue that in many ways, it’s even more applicable to show!Dany. Dany isn’t the only “good” character in ASOIAF/GOT to harden herself to violence or to make some of these sorts of mistakes, of course -- Jon probably would have been an even bigger disaster if he’d somehow wound up as the ruler of Meereen, for instance -- but that doesn’t remove the validity of these criticisms towards her, either.

Actually, speaking of Jon and Dany, there’s one argument that antis make that really bugs me: that Jon was chosen by his people, while Dany chose herself; meritocratic monarchy vs. hereditary monarchy, if you will. It’s not entirely wrong, but it’s not the full story either. Davos falls prey to this same trap when talking to Dany on Dragonstone, in fact: "He's not King in the North because of his birthright, he has no birthright, he's a damn bastard. He's King in the North because those hard sons of bitches believe in him."

I mean, yes, Jon was chosen by his nobles to be their king, and they do believe in him, but you can’t act like his heredity didn’t play a significant role in that decision. If Jon hadn’t been the ostensible son of Ned Stark, do you really think all the nobles of the North would have called for him to be King, no matter how worthy he was or how much they believed in him? Just look at part of Lyanna Mormont’s speech, for crying out loud [italics my own]: “I don’t care if he’s a bastard. Ned Stark’s blood runs through his veins. He’s my king, from this day until his last day!” *rolls eyes* But I digress. 

Moving on to address your comments on Jon/Sansa:

Unlike many J0nsa shippers here on tumblr, I don’t think J0nsa is ever going to be canon. Definitely not on the show, and probably not in the books either. And I’m mainly OK with that; that’s what fanfiction is for, after all. (Which isn’t to say I wouldn’t be delighted to be proved wrong re: canon lol.) 

I’m very much a multi-shipper in GOT/ASOIAF, and my main fannish wish is that my favorite characters survive to the end of the series. Ideally, none of them irrevocably betray other characters I care about and they all survive and they’re all at least marginally happy, but that’s probably way too much to ask. As I said, I’ll take ‘alive’. Because as long as they’re still alive, a happier ending is still a possibility somewhere ‘off-screen’ after the series ends. Dead, on the other hand, is dead. Sure, I can create AU ‘so-and-so-lives’ headcanons, but I’m still acutely aware that they’re AUs, y’know? ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

Yessss, Persuasion is such a great comparison! There’s something very bittersweet and healing about that kind of ship. Shades of a shared past paired with hope for a better shared present and future. The gradual realization that it isn’t too late to find/create happiness. idk, I just have a lot of feelings about this dynamic.

[yourcertainstudentlight-blog]

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Average insurance price?

I am a 19 yr old female. i am married and owm my car not financing it. it is a 4 door autimatic 1994 nissan sentra. 1.6 liter. is there and average ball park guess as to how much my insurance may be? im just now licensed and have never been insured or had a ticket

""How much would auto insurance cost for a $17,000 Bentley?""

Yes, I was looking around and someone was selling a bentley for $17,000. It is a 2005 Continental GT. If I were to buy that for a 16 year old, how much would insurance be? I know it is a bentley but it is an a low price tag of $17,000. And he would be covered under my insurance which makes the price go down lower, also he has taken the test,etc. Any insight would help greatly.""

How much do you pay for Insurance in your state?

I live in New Jersey and the Insurance for an auto is so high here. I pay $168 a month for a 2003 ford explorer that is loaded. I have no tickets, my record is clean. I also have lived in Utah and my Insurance was only $50 a month. Just wondering what everyone pays in different states?""

How much is motocross insurance?

Hey guys just wondering how much a motocross insurance quote would be im just looking for coverage if i get an injury im 16 and need affordable quotes thanks

How would I insure my drivers license?

Hi, I live in Maine and was wondering if its possible (if at all) to insure my drivers license. I don't have a car but live with people who do, it would cost to much to be put on their insurance. So is there insurance out there for just a drivers license so I can drive someone else car.""

Insurance?

I am carried under my mothers insurance because I am in college currently and unmarried. I am pregnant though, so when I deliver, will the baby be carried under my mothers insurance also? Capital Blue Cross.""

""What would you do? Really want a baby, but afraid of losing insurance.?""

I know this is just for my husband and me to decide, but I'd like to hear what other people would do. We really want to have a baby (we've had two losses in the past). We've paid off our bills and have some savings for a house (we'd like to buy one in about 5 years). The only thing stopping us now is that his job can be unstable and, although we'll continue to be fine financially, I'm afraid of losing insurance. Would you take the risk?""

What are full time jobs that have full health coverage?

I am looking for jobs that have full health coverage, being I have MS and need my medicine and could not afford it on a normal insurance, what are some jobs that have medical coverage?""

Will my car insurance go up?

I got my first driving ticket for going 75 in a 65 and didnt use my blinker and it was a 170 dollar ticket. Will that make my insurance go up? if so how much?

Motorbike insurance?

barclays motorbike insurance

What Insurance Agency Will Cover Salvage Rebuilt Cars?

I own a 2001 Ford Focus that I'm just now finding out is a Salvage Rebuild vehicle. I switched from the New York State insurance to Geico because it was cheaper, but Geico doesn't cover salvage rebuilds (I only found out it was a salvage rebuild because it was on my title). I purchased the car from my great-grandmother, who purchased it from a dealership in 2004. According to them, they do not sell salvage rebuild cars, but lo and behold, it is a salvage rebuild (from NJ!). I need an insurance company by the 9th of this month that isn't going to cost me an arm and a leg for a downpayment ($298 for GMAC... eesh). Does anyone know of what insurance agencies DO cover salvage rebuilds and are online?""

Car Insurance Claim for a respray?

My Ford Galaxy 1998 has lots of scratches all over the body work. Some are malicious where someone has keyed the car, others are from where a car has parked next to me and scratched mine, but the most recent one is from when i reversed into a pillar and scratched the back end. The question i'm asking everyone is am i able to claim on my car insurance for the malicious scratches? For the damage done by another car that i didn't report? And also the damage i caused? I have 6 years no claims bonus (protected) will it be affected? and an excess of 150. Am i able to make a claim for all the damage or will i need to pay where i have damaged it? Any advice please.""

Individual PPO Dental Insurance with No Waiting Period?

Does anyone know any individual dental insurance with a PPO plan and has NO waiting period? I live in the state of California. I've already tried Blue Shield and they have a 6-12 month waiting period for the PPO plan. And I've already try tons of other dental insurance (Metlife, Safeguard, etc) and they all have HMO plans or doesn't provide individual dental insurnace.""

How can i find the owner of the car and what insurance he's using?

Someone bumped into my car while I was working. I have a witness who gave me the license no. and I have reported this to the police but they said as it happened in a private car park, ...show more""

Is it unsafe to get a home loan with no deposit?

I would really like to take advantage of the first home buyers grant but will not have a deposit in time. I have looked at no deposit home loans but have heard they can be dangerous. Is that true?

What is the average cost for car insurance for a 17 year old?

Im 17 and pay $112 a month just for liability! it use to be $121 but i got a discount after 3 months. what about you? do you think im paying too much?

Where do you get cheap car insurance in Northern Ireland?

Hi Folks, I'm moving from Dumfries in Scotland shortly to Northern Ireland, my car insurance is going to double in price, just wondering where the best place to get insurance quotes, I tryed NI Compare and it was actually more expensive than Go Compare, many thanks""

Home Owners Insurance?

My wife and I are planning on buying our first home and are currently shopping for mortgages. As a first time home buyer I am a little bit confused about a few things and I thought I just ask here :) One of the mortgages we looked at (online, from our CU) listed a Hazard Insurance Monthly in the Prepaids & Reserves section (which is part of the closing cost). - I am aware of the need of Homeowners Insurance, but does that include or exclude Hazard Insurance? - The monthly rate for Hazard Insurance was listed as $1,900. That seemed extremely high to me, so my question is: What is an average amount for Hazard Insurance (or Homeowners Insurance in general)? FYI: The home we are looking at is located in the SF Bay Area and will have a value of approx. $700,000. Any comment will be appreciated...""

How many American do not have health insurance?

How many American do not have health insurance?

Lying on car insurance?

as car insurance for younger drivers is considerably more i was curious in asking a question if someone lies on being older say 30 rather than 17 and or the car is kept in a locked garage and is fitted with the best mobilisers money can buy will this person get away with this if for example involved in some sort of crash and or another scenario pulled over by a police officer.

Are red cars more expensive to insure and why?

Are red cars more expensive to insure and why?

Which health insurance is cheaper and useful?

I am living in Carlisle, PA. I am currently on unemployment compensation. I need a health plan for me and my wife very affordable. I have filled quotes over internet and I have to ...show more""

Why is my car insurance so high?

I'm paying about $1,800 every sixth months, and now it's increasing. I had my driver's licence since sixteen, I'm twenty-four now. And I've been clean my entire life, except a few years ago when I received a speeding ticket. Then I took its courses to deduct points, and everything's cleaned out. But why is my insurance still high?""

What car has the cheapest insurance for a first time driver?

i have looked at a few cars and atm i think a corsa 1.0 is one of the cheapest i know that i will need to get a 1.0 but does any1 know any other 1.0 litre cars that are decent so i can compare??

Term life insurance policies?

if i buy a term life insurance policy and three month later i die, will my family get the money?""

go auto insurance company

go auto insurance company

How can i find a good health insurance company?

I have health insurance right now and i just got a HUGE bill in the mail for what the health insurance did not cover. HELP are all insurance companies out to screw you!? I am sooo frustrated! I am a young person barely making ends meet

Insurance help- good insurance?

MY dad n step mom were going to claim me on their insurance as long as they could (age 26) i just turned 19 and my dad n step mom divorced, my stepmom dropped my dad and i off the insurance but my dad has no insurance bc he owns his own business where hes the only employee and i am now left with no insurance, i am currently searching for a job. i need insurance ideas, i live in oklahoma. We have soonercare but i do not qualify bc i am over age 18 and do not have a kid. So my question where are some good health insurance companys to try and enroll for?""

How much is the insurancwe difference on a v6 and gt 04 mustang?

its my first car im 16 i have state farm i dont speed (in residential but in the highway its a different story! not really but serious i dont get tickets) im a straight A student 4.0 average how much is insurance for each

How much would you estimate the annual cost of living to be in central New Jersey?

This would be for a simple lifestyle- one bedroom apartment, utilities, food, clothing, phone, internet, cable, basic car, car insurance, gas, car maintenance, computer, pet, gifts, and a one-week basic vacation. You can provide an estimate both with, and without, a basic health insurance plan premium. I am just trying to figure out about how much it would cost to live in this area. Thank you for your advice.""

Does searching for Car Insurance drive you crazy?

Does searching for Car Insurance drive you crazy?

Best Place to get a Car Insurance Comparison Free Online?

What sites are best for car insurance comparison? I am trying to find a site that has the widest range of quotes and policies so I can pick insurance cover that is right for me, the plan I have that's due to expire soon is terrible and I feel really ripped off. It's just proving really hard to find something affordable and with good quality cover. Has anyone tried a car insurance comparison site that offers quotes from more than just the usual four or five insurance providers?""

Which car insurance is better GMAC or Allstate?

I currently have AAA insurance, but I don't like my agent, so I am switching. GMAC and Allstate both gave me good rates, so I am trying to decide between the two. Please let me know of your experience with either company. Thanks!""

Car insurance for an ocassional driver..?

I am 17 years old and I am getting my g2 class license in a week. I plan on going as an occasional driver on my moms car which is a 2002 or 2003 Ford Cougar. Does anyone know what the price of insurance would be a year approx? I know she pays about $120 for car AND house insurance... for an occasional driver on a red 2002 or 2003 Ford Cougar (red sports car) how much would insurance per year be? Any help would be great thanks!!! :)

What would the insurance on a 2000 corvette be?

What would the average state farm insurance for a 2000 corvette be for a 15 year old. No comments about not getting a 15 year old the car, just answers to the insurance question.""

What a rough estimate of what it would cost me to insure a fifth-wheel?

I'm going to be in it full-time. It's 36 feet, purchase price: $32K (it's a 2001 model). Anyone have *any* idea? How many people insure their fifthwheels? I'm going to have a truck (buying a 2002 that's going to need insurance as well. Argh. Trying to figure out what I can afford, with regard to trailer and truck (and park fees etc...) Thanks so much!""

Do I need life insurance for my baby?

I am about to have a baby, and see lots of ads for the Gerber Life Insurance for children, but don't know if I need it. The price seems to be less than what I would have to pay at my job. Is this something I need?""

Best SUV car for cost and insurance on teenage driver?

I've decided i must have a SUV for my first car, my budget is low since I'm a student I was wanting to pay no more than 1,500 for the actual car, i was thinking on something around year 1990-2005 that was fuel efficient, low insurance and low road tax :) Definite used and loads of miles on it, since it's cheaper lol thank you so much for the people who give me a good answer""

2008 BMW M3 insurance cost for a 17 year old?

2008 BMW M3 insurance cost for a 17 year old?

Is there such a thing as mental heath insurance or at least a carrier that is better than others...?

i'm self employed and considering blue cross/shield and kaiser but can't really find a cost difference between them. i'm in california, physically very healthy but feeling the need for therapy, but can hardly afford it. i have no health insurance at all so a plan that covered everything, but was especially generous on mental health would be great.""

""What's Cheaper to Insure, Audi, BMW, Mercedes, Volkswagen ?""

I'm 21, Here are my options. 2008 Audi A4 2009 BMW 328I 2007 Mercedes c250 2010 Volkswagen GTI or Golf. How much do you think rates will be.""

How much is car insurance going to cost for me?

I'm 16 years old and im about to get my learners permit. Im not going to own a car or anything im just going to occasionaly drive my parents car. My mom says its going to be very expensive but i thought that was only when you have your full license and have your own car.

Motorcycle insurance?

Anyone have any idea on the cost on motorcylce insurance.. I'm 26 clean record..Thinking about getting a new yamaha cruiser 600-700cc

Checking Insurance Quotes?

May be a stupid question but can you check different insurance quotes even if you haven't passed your test yet, just to get an idea of how much it will be ?""

Does Amica raise your insurance rates after first speeding ticket?

I live and am licensed in MA but got a speeding ticket in NH. I believe NH and MA share information so it will be treated as if it happened in Massachusetts. I am on a family plan with Amica car insurance, does anyone know if they will raise my rates? It is my first traffic violation of any kind. Will I lose any discounts like safe driving discount? I heard Massachusetts has a law where the first speeding ticket does not add insurance points? Is this true? If it is true, can Amica still raise your rates if they want to? Thanks""

How much do you guys pay for Honda S2000 car insurance?

I got a quote for 490 for 6 months. Full coverage from state farm for a 04 Honda s2000. Is this good?

How much does Insurance cost for g37s 08?

How much does Insurance cost for g37s 08?

To get cheap insurance on a car my partner suggested if she bought another car and put me on her insurance to?

and i was put on her insurance to drive it would be cheaper as i have been disqualified for two years and she would own two cars as she can only drive automatics.....what should i do does anyone think it would be a good idea also

Insurance help- good insurance?

MY dad n step mom were going to claim me on their insurance as long as they could (age 26) i just turned 19 and my dad n step mom divorced, my stepmom dropped my dad and i off the insurance but my dad has no insurance bc he owns his own business where hes the only employee and i am now left with no insurance, i am currently searching for a job. i need insurance ideas, i live in oklahoma. We have soonercare but i do not qualify bc i am over age 18 and do not have a kid. So my question where are some good health insurance companys to try and enroll for?""

WHAT INSURANCE WILL HELP MENTAL HEALTH?

so i lost my health insurance at 19 and im trying to go on one by myself, i got to an outpatient program called High Focus for anxiety and depression and were paying out of pocket for this which is extremely expensive, can someone tell me an insurance that would cover this High Focus center its a private place and does not accept medicade, medicare, or state funds.""

Dog life and health Insurance?

In June I got my first dog ever, he's part Yorkie and Chiuua. He's 4 months old and I'm wrecking my brain looking for resonable insurance for him, can someone please help me, I am on a budget, however, I have health and life insurance for myself and granddaughter, my new baby should be covered as well. But I don't have a clue and I don't want to get ripped off either. Thanks""

go auto insurance company

go auto insurance company

I just received my license and the cheapest insurance I can find is geico at 295 a month I need something less?

I have a 2002 nissaan maxima im 18 & single I really need something cheaper

Car insurance please help me out?

Oh right lol my query is as follows .. In July 2012 my daughter took out a pay monthly insurance policy with close premium 139 per month which was paid from my bank account every month on time for 12 months. When due for renewal August 2013 the insurance company sent her a quote saying payments were 168 per month! In view of this she decided not to insure her car and didn't use it. Shortly afterwards she receives a letter from close premium saying Hastings insurance could cover her for 100 per month but she never accepted this offer. In September 2013 Hastings took payment from my account so I contacted bank and recalled the payment. She now has a recovery agency acting on behalf of Hastings claiming she owes 400 . I can't see how she owes this money ? Do we have to pay this when we never accepted the policy and close premium passed on my bank details without my knowledge ? ( hope this makes sense)

How much a rental house property insurance should cost?

I rented a house and the mortgage company says I need to have rental insurance. I do not want to cover my tenants stuff, just the house in Nevada. Thanks""

Can I drive in the USA on UK car insurance?

We are taking our vehicle to the USA and travelling around for up to 12 months, can we use UK car insurance or do we have to insure the vehicle when we get to the States?""

Which auto insurance is cheapest in new orleans?

Which auto insurance is cheapest in new orleans?

New health insurance law I'm so confused?

My husband is half Indian so he can go to the Indian clinic whenever he wants and it's free. Does that mean he still needs insurance?

Car insurance site for 18 year old !!?

does any body no of a decent car insurance for an 18 year old ?

Does a rear view camera affect car insurance rates?

Will installing a rear view camera on my car affect my insurance rates? The reason I ask is because late last year the news media began reporting the fact that the federal government is considering mandating rear view cameras on every new vehicle sold the United States.

""Which costs more, Motorcycle insurance or Car insurance ?

I just got my Drivers License earlier this second quarter and I'm going for my motorcycle within the next month or two. My birthday is in February and I am currently 23 years of age.

Factors that determine the price of insurance?

i would like to know how certain factors determine the price of insurance. 1) how does costs affect the price of insurance 2) how does amount of claims affect the price of insurance 3) how does risk levels affect the price of insurance 4) how does predictability of risk affect the price of insurance 5) how does return from investments affect the price of insurance 6) how does level of interest rates affect the price of insurance 7) how does profit margin affect the price of insurance 8) how does competition affect the price of insurance 9) how does goverment regulation affect the price of insurance

Home insurance?

im looking for some insurance that will mean if either my fiancee or i die our house will be paid off in full (this way our kids have a home) im still quite young (38) any one know any good companys to get a quote with?

How much is your car insurance?

I don't want to sound personal but I am wondering what everyone pays in car insurance. I happen to live in Michigan which has the highest car insurances rates in the country. I am planning to move soon and was wondering how much people are paying across the country. Please don't feel a need to give me the exact number, a range is fine. Also, please tell me the car type because I know that matters. Again with car type you don't have to tell the car. Example if you drive a 911 Porsche you could say, 2 door, luxury sports car. Any other information would be greatly appreciated, thanks!""

How much would car insurance be for a used 2006 subaru impreza 2.5i wagon or a used 2003-2004 honda civic ex

im turning 18 and im thinkin about buyin either a 2006 subaru impreza 2.5 wagon or a 2003-2004 honda civic i wanted to check how much they would cost for insurance for either one im 18 i live in california first time insured thanks very much

""Silly car insurance cost, why so much?

I am a 40 year old woman who is taking my driving test next week. I have run through some quotes for a car (nothing flash or sporty) and the cheapest I can find is 1450 fully comp. I thought this was some kind of joke but it appears to be true. Why is it so much? I'm not a young person but this has priced me out of affording a car for the foreseeable future. I've just wasted 4 months learning. Why on earth is it so much and why are they getting away with it? It would be cheaper to take the risk and get a fine if I was unlucky enough to be stopped surely? Not going to do that before anyone gets on their high horse but just saying.

How do I get health insurance while going to college?

I'm a 21 yr old diabetic. Currently I work a full-time job as a fabricator and that's how I have insurance and afford my supplies. I want to go back to school though and get away from the fabrication field. My mother is remarried and is on my step-dads insurance and I don't know my real dad so I can't get on his. I'm kinda stumped here and don't want this to hold me back from going to school. Anyone have a similar problem? Possibly a solution?

Is there a website that has Arizona Auto Insurance Questions that I can study for my test?

Is there a website that has Arizona Auto Insurance Questions that I can study for my test? I have my test next week and need to get some questions to get prepared!

How much is insurance on an 89 camaro?

how much would it be a month? im 20

Car insurance?

I got my license 2 weeks ago and I am getting a car this week. What insurance company would you recommend that I go with? Progressive, Gieco or AIG. If you have any others, feel free to throw it out there.""

I only have liability insurance and was hit by another car?

I only have liability & when the other guy hit me he ran away on foot leaving the car. I made a police report and they gave me the other party's info. Now his insurance is saying they can't help me until they know who was actually driving his car. What can I do to get my car fixed because it is not drivable? Can I get a rental car? Can his insurance deny me completely if they don't find the driver?

Prior proof of insurance?

I just got progressive car insurance. They want me to send prior proof of insurance from my old company. Do I just send in my old insurance card?

What should my average house insurance cost?

I'm buying an older house (1920's-1930's) in a working class neighborhood in California for about $200K. What should I expect to pay for my standard homeowner's insurance?

""What is the cheapest car insurance in los angeles, ca?""

What is the cheapest car insurance in los angeles, ca?""

How do I find out how much the annual income of the CEO of State farm insurance is?

I was hit by a car by one of State Farm Insurance insured. Their first offer was $4 thousand dollars. Now that we are close to going to court the offer is up to $45 thousand. The problem with such a small settelment is I am having sever back pain. I would also like to know if anyone has been in the same situation. I know that they cheated a lot of people when Katrina hit and they were really slow at paying off with the fires out west. My case is finally going to be heard June 2nd after almost 5 years of dickering with them. These ATT will use anything to win a case. They are trying to say that because I was wounded in Vietnam it is left over from that. If anyone has any input please contact me. Thank you Lonney D.

Is surfing without health insurance a bad idea?

I'm moving to southern California for a job soon and want to try surfing, but my health insurance won't kick in for 2 months. Aside from drowning to death, which health insurance doesn't cover anyway, are there a lot of injuries that require doctors and hospitals? Man I just get on a board and go...""

Car Insurance Help! (PLEASE HELP)?

Ok So im 17 soon, This is the car i wont.......... 2000 Reg, Augi tt 1.8L Quattro 2door [225] Coupe It costs about 3000, But the insurance qoutes on the internet are about 13000-22000 a month!!!! Its a 3000 pound car, What shall i do? how can i make it cheaper For this car or is there anything i can do so that if i get in an accident i get no money or my cars not paid for, id do that aslong as i saved money.... Also, If you know any other cheap cars, that are sporty looking the this one and look nice.... Link them, Any good help i will donate 5 Over paypal...... Thank you x""

go auto insurance company

go auto insurance company

https://www.linkedin.com/pulse/car-insurance-quotes-cleveland-ohio-joe-sanders/"

[trendingnewsb]

What Silicon Valley tech VCs get wrong about consumer investing

Ryan Caldbeck Contributor

Ryan Caldbeck is the founder and chief executive of the consumer and retail investment marketplace CircleUp.

More posts by this contributor:

We are on the verge of a consumer M&A avalanche

Why did Unilever pay $1B for Dollar Shave Club?  

When I began fundraising for CircleUp six years ago, I encountered many investors whose eyes would glaze over when I mentioned “consumer.”

These investors would fidget uncomfortably or drop their gaze when I explained that our platform would only provide capital to small CPG companies. I would often hear the skeptical comments, such as, “an energy bar company can’t really get that big,” “baby food isn’t scalable,” and my personal favorite, “I can’t name a single consumer company” (real quote from a VC).

Today, of course, the tone is much different. Scroll through tech news and you’ll see everything from Greylock Partners singing the praises of CPG startups, Sequoia’s Michael Moritz joining the board of Charlotte Tilbury, to Lightspeed Ventures coinvesting with VMG Partners, a top mid-market consumer firm.

Alongside blockchain and AI, “technology-enabled” CPG startups are now a bona fide trend for Silicon Valley VCs. The uptick in tech VC dollars going to the CPG market is partly because tech investing is brutally competitive and saturated, and largely because these VCs are awakening to the strong historical returns in CPG, especially with the trend leaning towards small brands stealing market share.

Consumer is a massive market – about 3x the size of tech, as seen below.

Despite the size of the market, the early-stage has historically been underserved by investors due to market inefficiencies like the geographic dispersion of brands and a lack of structured information sources (i.e. there is no Silicon Valley for consumer, and certainly no Crunchbase equivalents – yet). In theory, the recent trend of VC dollars going to fill a capital gap in CPG should result in a win-win. In effect, many of the tech VC investments into consumer are misguided, and sometimes even harmful. Investors may lose money, but entrepreneurs can lose companies they’ve spent lifetimes building.

There are a few things that VC investors should keep in mind to ensure they invest in a way that benefits both them and the entrepreneurs they work with.

One company won’t rule its market

The heart of the problem with tech investors in CPG is that they operate under the assumption that one CPG player can rule its market. They believe this because in tech, it’s largely true. When you look at Uber and Airbnb, it is likely that one or two players could own 70% of their respective markets. Holding this assumption in the CPG space, however, in fundamentally flawed.

There has been a secular shift over the past 5-10 years where people now favor unique, targeted products catering to personal preferences. Today, even the act of selecting a beer or hand lotion is a form of self-expression. The result is a fragmentation with many brands that are more targeted in their offering. Many of these products are inherently smaller in scale and never intend to be mass market—yet do frequently get gobbled up by public consumer conglomerates. The M&A in consumer and retail was over $300 billion in 2017 according to PWC, vs. $170b for tech.

While the market grows more and more fragmented with small to mid-sized brands offering diversified products, we’re moving far away from the notion that one condiments or baby products brand can own 70% of its category.

Too-high valuations and large raises are harmful, not encouraging

Relatedly, putting too high a valuation on a CPG company and theorizing it could rule its market is counterproductive and unrealistic. It pushes the entrepreneur to unnatural and harmful tactics to meet this valuation, or to eventually fundraise again at a lower valuation – or at a higher valuation from whatever out-of-tune investor they can find to do – then seriously struggle to exit. Some of the spiraling is obvious, including inflated marketing campaigns that force growth, often long before the product is ready, and some are less obvious, including inflated numbers in investor decks behind the scenes.  

Ask anyone knowledgeable in consumer about why Unilever bought Seventh Generation instead of the similar, but far more trendy Honest Company. It’s largely because of valuation. By every account, the VCs involved in Honest Company put a valuation in previous rounds that made no sense relative to core metrics. Consumer companies shouldn’t raise $30m in equity to grow, let alone $300m. The result: Honest Company couldn’t get the exit it wanted, had to cut costs, and reportedly faced tremendous unrest among employees who were upset about the direction the company was heading.

Ultimately, CPG brands don’t need that much money to grow. Capital efficiency is one of the beauties of CPG. Consumer companies can typically raise $4-8m to get to $10m in revenue, where they are often profitable. Tech companies typically raise $40-50m to get to the same revenue range, and often fail to make a profit even at that point. SkinnyPop, RXBar, Sir Kensington’s and Native Deodorant are great examples of the lean operations characteristic of CPG.

A great brand isn’t as simple as a D2C model and a sleek website

In the past year I’ve had 10-20 tech VCs call me and say some variation on this: “we want to get into consumer, but it has to be tech enabled, because we told our LPs we’d invest in tech companies.” This over focus on D2C leads VCs to put too much money into the company at too high a valuation.

D2C is a channel. Just like the convenience store channel (i.e. 7/11), club (Costco), mass (Walmart) and grocery (Safeway). Like these other channels, DTC has pros and cons. It is not a Holy Grail. Too often, we see inexperienced VCs talk about D2C as “lower cost” when in reality the average D2C brand raises 10-30x the amount of brands in the offline world with massive overvaluations. Tell a D2C entrepreneur that their channel is cheaper than offline, and she will quickly explain to you that the Customer Acquisition Costs in the past 3-5 years have made that no longer true. If D2C is better margins, why did Bonobos raise $127m, Dollar Shave Club raise $164m and Casper raise $240m?

D2C is a channel, but it does not change the underlying fundamentals of what makes a successful CPG company. Those fundamentals, aside from margins and team, are brand, distribution and product differentiation. Product differentiation in consumer is necessary, but not sufficient, for success. The product must be unique relative to other offerings, and in a way that matters to people. Kind Bar looked like real food relative to Clif Bar, 5 Hour Energy was the only energy drink fit for on-the-go, and Halo Top gave you permission to eat a whole pint in one sitting. If those sound silly, they are all billions-dollar companies that each raised far less than the typical tech company, thus with less dilution.

The way forward

Consumer is an amazing market with massive depth and presents a wonderful opportunity for investors to help build the dreams of entrepreneurs with them. If VCs truly want to succeed in this market, they need to take the time to understand the fundamentals of consumer investing. I hope that more investors catch on to this so that wonderful consumer entrepreneurs can continue to get the capital and resources they need to thrive.

Read more: https://techcrunch.com/2018/02/03/what-silicon-valley-tech-vcs-get-wrong-about-consumer-investing/

from Viral News HQ http://ift.tt/2tL7SO3 via Viral News HQ

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Epiphone Les Paul Standard Plus Top

Epiphone Les Paul Standard – A Bargain Priced Classic

Epiphone has been building great guitars for a very, very long time. While sometimes falling in the shadow of big brother Gibson, the Epiphone Les Paul Standard is a formidable guitar that delivers great quality, playability, and tone, all at a fraction of the cost of a Gibson Les Paul. There are many people, including myself, that believe that the price differential is completely out of wack. In fact, there a lot of folks who would take the Epiphone over the Gibson regardless of cost.

Below is a video that delivers a very comprehensive review of what the Epiphone Les Paul Standard is and isn’t. He also address the most common issues that seem to arise with this guitar. The good news is these problems are all relatively minor and easily remedied by any competent luthier. For any of you that would rather read along, you’ll find a transcript below the video.

Hi! Stumade64. I’m here today to address a lot of the comments that I’ve been getting from my review of the Epiphone Les Paul Standard Plus Top.

First off, thanks for all the nice comments about my playing. I’m kind of a noodler, so you know, as to say, wow, good playing, how long have you been playing, it’s kind of nice to hear.

Gibson Les Paul vs Epiphone Les Paul

So anyway, about this great guitar. A couple things I like about it – the Gibson Les Paul. I’ve owned them. They’re heavy guitars. I’ve always had a saying that says if you buy a Gibson Les Paul, get a number of a good chiropractor to go along with it because your back is going to hurt. If you’ve played it, Gibson Les Paul, for a full two hours set, or if you played at a wedding for four hours, or whatever a gig, your shoulder is killing by the end of the night from all that stinking weight. I’ve used wide straps to try to compensate, wide padded straps to kind of compensate, and it’s just it kills you. I mean the tones there, that’s fine and great, but I had to finally get rid of mine. Other than being a piece of eye candy in the middle of the room to look and go ah and go “Ah, I’ve got a Gibson Les Paul”. I couldn’t play because it just killed me. But this model, it’s solid. It’s lighter than the Gibson Les Paul’s I’ve played. The neck is not as fat. My gold top that I used to have had like a slim taper so that was okay. It’s a little fat, but it is okay to fit my hands. I’m more of a Strat player. I’ve been playing Strats since I was my teens, so that that standard C fits my hands perfectly. This fits it well. I’m comfortable with this. Fatter necks, it fills my hands up too much. I can’t navigate over the fingerboard like I should. So I like that. It fits. If you’re a Strat player, it’s a nice graduation into a double humbucker model without fattening up your hands too much. Grover tuners right out of the box. Something that the seventies guitar players, all classic rock guys, are like switching out their Clusen tuners for Grover’s. So it’s a good tuner. The finish is really nice. I mean sheez! I mean look at that. That’s beautiful. The back, even though I’ve had it for a little bit, it’s not scratched up. There’s some buckle rash, but not too bad. Um yeah, so I really like it. It fits my needs.

How Much Does the Name on the Headstock Matter to You?

I’ve had people come up to me after gigs and say, “Wow, what is that? Is that like a Gibson?” I was like, “No it’s an Epiphone”, and the teenagers walk away from me like, “Oh, it’s not a Gibson.” It’s like, ” Dude! Tone is tone. If it’s a piece, and like a cigar box with strings on it, and it’s awesome tone, that’s fine. And guess what? It’s not so much the instrument, it’s in your fingers that’s given your tone. Yeah, so all that getting your gear to look like Clapton, or Slash, or wherever your guitar hero is, it’s not going to do it. You need to work on these things; you got to use your ear more, listen the album’s, try to emulate what you’re hearing with as far as attack, dynamics is important to get there. Use your ear more than anything. Do a lot of listening. That will get you closer to the type of tone you want to hear in your head, then going out and buying all…

How to Examine Your New Epiphone Les Paul Standard

Anyway, anyhow! Let’s talk about checking your Epiphone after you get it. If you have it shipped to your house, it’ll be in a cardboard box. All there is is styrofoam, little wedges on each side and at the top, no case. It’s not carefully padded. It is like getting a computer keyboard in the mail. It’s just tossed in there, a couple little wedges and you’re done. So it gets banged up in that case. You want to check for certain damage right away. You want to check for if there’s any kind of physical chips in the paint, there’s any cracks in the body. Especially, you want to make sure there’s no cracks here in the neck joint, right up in here, and you want to make sure there’s no cracks up in here, or on the sides anywhere in the headstock. You want to make sure there’s no cracks, and I mean deep cracks, even if it’s a finished crack. I would even debate that. When I got my first one, that’s how I know. I didn’t have the luxury of going to a guitar store and taking two hours to sort through their selection to pick out a guitar. I normally do that. I was in a bind. I needed a guitar right away. I kind of know what to look for. I did a lot of reviews. I said, okay it sounds like a good guitar, so I ordered it. It came in to the mail, to my doorstep, sorry, with a big ol’ crack, right here behind the nut, right there. So, and then there was a couple of chips. The top here, most likely it fell on its head when it was in the box, hit that, compromised the neck. I’m sure, eventually, with tension from the strings, it would start to, you know, make that crack a little bit more defined. I sent it right back. They said no problem. We’ll replace it. This is Musicians Friend. It’s pretty nice. This is the second one they sent back and it’s perfect. I’ve checked everything. There’s no cracks on the neck, especially the neck joint. That’s super important. There’s nothing like finished cracks on the body at all. Hardware is not loose, so that’s really, really important to make sure that everything is perfectly intact in this. If you go through a store, most likely they’ve already inspected that kind of thing. Now that will kind of take away some that uncertainty you have if you order online. But for the record, Musician’s Friend was great with replacing the guitar. So don’t remove any of the protective stuff. If there’s like a something that protects the toggle switch which is like a foam thing. Don’t remove any of that stuff until everything is inspected so that when you return it, you know, and return it like quickly, like within a day or so, don’t wait like a couple weeks or anything like that. So yeah, make sure to inspect it when you get it shipped to you.

Epiphone Les Paul Issues – Few and Easily Fixed

Let’s talk about tuning issues and other issues that I keep reading about reviews and people’s reluctance to buy this guitar. Tuning. I hear constant things about tuning on this. They say I play it, it goes out of tune all the time. I turn it back up, still playing out a tune. I’m going to swap out the tuners because they’re crap. No, don’t do it. What happens, and this complaints about this from the Gibson side too that’s coming out of their shop with Les Paul’s, it’s the nut. A a lot of times, they are not cutting this slot properly and it’s not a clean slot, so it is hanging up the string at the slot. A real simple method for that, if you like to work on guitars anyway and you have nut files, all you do is you take a couple swipes, depending on what gauge you’re using, like if this was like say like a 46 gauge, you’re going to use your 46 gauge nut file and just make one or two passes. That’s all you need. You don’t want to gouge the nut deeper unless you want, you know, unless you have some reason why you want that thing deeper. I strongly recommend that you take it to some guitar shop or luthier that knows what they’re doing. It’s no big deal. It’s a couple passes. It shouldn’t cost you too much. But if it’s not the nut, I would suggest using pencil graphite lead and all you got to do is just run your pencil in, and like, right over the slot. You take the string out of the nut, run it over the slot so you get some graphite inside of the slot, put the string back in the little debris of pencil lead and then wipe off, like it would be kind of blackened on the nut, so you’ll want to make sure you wipe that off. Tune it up to proper tuning and try and see if that works. Otherwise, get the nut slots cleaned out. I did the nut slot thing myself because I built guitars also. It was no big deal. One swipe through all six strings, put it back on, and I’ve had no turning issues.

Another issue you want to make sure is too is that you have the string stretched out properly. Don’t put a brand-new set of strings on, tune it up, and go, oh, it’s all still of a tune. You got a play it for a good hour or so solidly and then see if there’s still tuning issues at the end of that period of time. If that’s the case, then you know it’s something within the nut slot and it might just affect one string. Usually, if it’s just one string then you know it’s probably just that one spot that’s being taken care of. So really make sure you get that issue take care of. Grover tuners are solid. There’s no reason why you need to swap out the tuners. These are great tuners. You’re wasting your money by spending, you know, the 50, 60 bucks on replacing tuners for this because most likely, you put the money out and you’re still going to have the nut issue.

String buzz. I’m hearing low string low E string buzz. There’s no string buzz on this. You know why? Because this sucker is not cranked down a lot of times. If this end of the bridge is lowered too much it, doesn’t allow much free play for the string to ring, so it starts to rattle. So it’s mostly a set up issue. Also, if you get high action where it’s like it’s hard to play because the strings really far from the fret, don’t worry about it. It’s going to be a setup issue. Most likely, it’s this height, possibly a truss rod adjustment. That is probably going to get tweaked a little bit just from shipping. Things get rattled loose, can get knocked around in a cardboard box. So a lot of these issues that you’re reading on the Internet about, oh it’s out of tune, oh you know string rattles, and oh, I got like there’s like a retainer here that keeps the saddles down, so you take the strings off, the saddles don’t fall out. The saddles fall out, they’re going to move within that screw, and your intonation is off. Take it to a shop get it set up properly. Don’t worry about it once it’s set up all these issues will be addressed and you’ll have one fine guitar.

What’s the difference between a plain top and a plus top. There’s absolutely no difference. The only difference is, see this nice flamey pattern on here, that’s what makes it the plus top. If you get the plain, it’s just a plain straight grain maple top. That’s the only difference. Everything else is exactly the same. It’s only cosmetics. It’s not going to sound any better. It may just look pretty visually, but that’s it. So it’s just basically what do you like? Do you want something just fine plain, or something just a little bit fancier. So, that’s all it is for the plane versus plus top.

Takeaways

Anyhow, so what are you going to get from this whole video? Basically, if you want to change out the pickups, go for it. Ask yourself, what type of music do you like to play first? What kind of amplifier are you going to run this guitar through mostly? Is it too dark, is it too light? Do you like to drive the amp from pedals or a boost, or do you want to drive it from the guitar? That will kind of help steer you. Go into a guitar place, try out different ones. Each one feels a little bit different, might be a little bit different in tone. Don’t disregard the electronics that are already in there first. Try that out. See if that suits you. This is by far, not some piece of junk guitar. I totally enjoy this guitar. I’ve owned so many guitars over the years, at least, you know, three dozen different guitars from Fender Custom shops, to Gibson Les Pauls, Gibson Flying V’s, which I still own. And they didn’t have anything like these when I was starting on a guitar. It was those piece-of-crap SEARS guitars made out of plywood, but that’s all I had. My parents didn’t know any different. I had nobody to bounce ideas off of. You guys got the Internet. That is awesome.  You’ve got a YouTube, thank goodness. If they had YouTube when I was 14, that would have been awesome. Yeah, so you have all that to your disposal to figure out what you want to do with your tone.

So, hope this kind of helped. I do have a video coming up soon that is going to showcase the new pots that I’ve installed since the video that I put up for the review for that Epiphone Les Paul Standard. So hey, have fun with your guitar. I’ll try to get to comments as quick as I can as I see them. There may be a couple days lag, don’t have to keep reposting it. I will get to it eventually. Haters, you know, don’t even bother making a comment. Really gonna dog me on my stupid haircut or if I’m a doctor? Really? Okay. Anyway, have fun and rock on dude. Oh, this is hang loose, huh.

Source

Source: http://electricguitardigest.com/epiphone-les-paul-standard/

from Electric Guitar Digest https://electricguitardigest.wordpress.com/2017/06/11/epiphone-les-paul-standard-plus-top/

[fayebeasley]

Epiphone Les Paul Standard Plus Top

Epiphone Les Paul Standard – A Bargain Priced Classic

Epiphone has been building great guitars for a very, very long time. While sometimes falling in the shadow of big brother Gibson, the Epiphone Les Paul Standard is a formidable guitar that delivers great quality, playability, and tone, all at a fraction of the cost of a Gibson Les Paul. There are many people, including myself, that believe that the price differential is completely out of wack. In fact, there a lot of folks who would take the Epiphone over the Gibson regardless of cost.

Below is a video that delivers a very comprehensive review of what the Epiphone Les Paul Standard is and isn’t. He also address the most common issues that seem to arise with this guitar. The good news is these problems are all relatively minor and easily remedied by any competent luthier. For any of you that would rather read along, you’ll find a transcript below the video.

Hi! Stumade64. I’m here today to address a lot of the comments that I’ve been getting from my review of the Epiphone Les Paul Standard Plus Top.

First off, thanks for all the nice comments about my playing. I’m kind of a noodler, so you know, as to say, wow, good playing, how long have you been playing, it’s kind of nice to hear.

Gibson Les Paul vs Epiphone Les Paul

So anyway, about this great guitar. A couple things I like about it – the Gibson Les Paul. I’ve owned them. They’re heavy guitars. I’ve always had a saying that says if you buy a Gibson Les Paul, get a number of a good chiropractor to go along with it because your back is going to hurt. If you’ve played it, Gibson Les Paul, for a full two hours set, or if you played at a wedding for four hours, or whatever a gig, your shoulder is killing by the end of the night from all that stinking weight. I’ve used wide straps to try to compensate, wide padded straps to kind of compensate, and it’s just it kills you. I mean the tones there, that’s fine and great, but I had to finally get rid of mine. Other than being a piece of eye candy in the middle of the room to look and go ah and go “Ah, I’ve got a Gibson Les Paul”. I couldn’t play because it just killed me. But this model, it’s solid. It’s lighter than the Gibson Les Paul’s I’ve played. The neck is not as fat. My gold top that I used to have had like a slim taper so that was okay. It’s a little fat, but it is okay to fit my hands. I’m more of a Strat player. I’ve been playing Strats since I was my teens, so that that standard C fits my hands perfectly. This fits it well. I’m comfortable with this. Fatter necks, it fills my hands up too much. I can’t navigate over the fingerboard like I should. So I like that. It fits. If you’re a Strat player, it’s a nice graduation into a double humbucker model without fattening up your hands too much. Grover tuners right out of the box. Something that the seventies guitar players, all classic rock guys, are like switching out their Clusen tuners for Grover’s. So it’s a good tuner. The finish is really nice. I mean sheez! I mean look at that. That’s beautiful. The back, even though I’ve had it for a little bit, it’s not scratched up. There’s some buckle rash, but not too bad. Um yeah, so I really like it. It fits my needs.

How Much Does the Name on the Headstock Matter to You?

I’ve had people come up to me after gigs and say, “Wow, what is that? Is that like a Gibson?” I was like, “No it’s an Epiphone”, and the teenagers walk away from me like, “Oh, it’s not a Gibson.” It’s like, ” Dude! Tone is tone. If it’s a piece, and like a cigar box with strings on it, and it’s awesome tone, that’s fine. And guess what? It’s not so much the instrument, it’s in your fingers that’s given your tone. Yeah, so all that getting your gear to look like Clapton, or Slash, or wherever your guitar hero is, it’s not going to do it. You need to work on these things; you got to use your ear more, listen the album’s, try to emulate what you’re hearing with as far as attack, dynamics is important to get there. Use your ear more than anything. Do a lot of listening. That will get you closer to the type of tone you want to hear in your head, then going out and buying all…

How to Examine Your New Epiphone Les Paul Standard

Anyway, anyhow! Let’s talk about checking your Epiphone after you get it. If you have it shipped to your house, it’ll be in a cardboard box. All there is is styrofoam, little wedges on each side and at the top, no case. It’s not carefully padded. It is like getting a computer keyboard in the mail. It’s just tossed in there, a couple little wedges and you’re done. So it gets banged up in that case. You want to check for certain damage right away. You want to check for if there’s any kind of physical chips in the paint, there’s any cracks in the body. Especially, you want to make sure there’s no cracks here in the neck joint, right up in here, and you want to make sure there’s no cracks up in here, or on the sides anywhere in the headstock. You want to make sure there’s no cracks, and I mean deep cracks, even if it’s a finished crack. I would even debate that. When I got my first one, that’s how I know. I didn’t have the luxury of going to a guitar store and taking two hours to sort through their selection to pick out a guitar. I normally do that. I was in a bind. I needed a guitar right away. I kind of know what to look for. I did a lot of reviews. I said, okay it sounds like a good guitar, so I ordered it. It came in to the mail, to my doorstep, sorry, with a big ol’ crack, right here behind the nut, right there. So, and then there was a couple of chips. The top here, most likely it fell on its head when it was in the box, hit that, compromised the neck. I’m sure, eventually, with tension from the strings, it would start to, you know, make that crack a little bit more defined. I sent it right back. They said no problem. We’ll replace it. This is Musicians Friend. It’s pretty nice. This is the second one they sent back and it’s perfect. I’ve checked everything. There’s no cracks on the neck, especially the neck joint. That’s super important. There’s nothing like finished cracks on the body at all. Hardware is not loose, so that’s really, really important to make sure that everything is perfectly intact in this. If you go through a store, most likely they’ve already inspected that kind of thing. Now that will kind of take away some that uncertainty you have if you order online. But for the record, Musician’s Friend was great with replacing the guitar. So don’t remove any of the protective stuff. If there’s like a something that protects the toggle switch which is like a foam thing. Don’t remove any of that stuff until everything is inspected so that when you return it, you know, and return it like quickly, like within a day or so, don’t wait like a couple weeks or anything like that. So yeah, make sure to inspect it when you get it shipped to you.

Epiphone Les Paul Issues – Few and Easily Fixed

Let’s talk about tuning issues and other issues that I keep reading about reviews and people’s reluctance to buy this guitar. Tuning. I hear constant things about tuning on this. They say I play it, it goes out of tune all the time. I turn it back up, still playing out a tune. I’m going to swap out the tuners because they’re crap. No, don’t do it. What happens, and this complaints about this from the Gibson side too that’s coming out of their shop with Les Paul’s, it’s the nut. A a lot of times, they are not cutting this slot properly and it’s not a clean slot, so it is hanging up the string at the slot. A real simple method for that, if you like to work on guitars anyway and you have nut files, all you do is you take a couple swipes, depending on what gauge you’re using, like if this was like say like a 46 gauge, you’re going to use your 46 gauge nut file and just make one or two passes. That’s all you need. You don’t want to gouge the nut deeper unless you want, you know, unless you have some reason why you want that thing deeper. I strongly recommend that you take it to some guitar shop or luthier that knows what they’re doing. It’s no big deal. It’s a couple passes. It shouldn’t cost you too much. But if it’s not the nut, I would suggest using pencil graphite lead and all you got to do is just run your pencil in, and like, right over the slot. You take the string out of the nut, run it over the slot so you get some graphite inside of the slot, put the string back in the little debris of pencil lead and then wipe off, like it would be kind of blackened on the nut, so you’ll want to make sure you wipe that off. Tune it up to proper tuning and try and see if that works. Otherwise, get the nut slots cleaned out. I did the nut slot thing myself because I built guitars also. It was no big deal. One swipe through all six strings, put it back on, and I’ve had no turning issues.

Another issue you want to make sure is too is that you have the string stretched out properly. Don’t put a brand-new set of strings on, tune it up, and go, oh, it’s all still of a tune. You got a play it for a good hour or so solidly and then see if there’s still tuning issues at the end of that period of time. If that’s the case, then you know it’s something within the nut slot and it might just affect one string. Usually, if it’s just one string then you know it’s probably just that one spot that’s being taken care of. So really make sure you get that issue take care of. Grover tuners are solid. There’s no reason why you need to swap out the tuners. These are great tuners. You’re wasting your money by spending, you know, the 50, 60 bucks on replacing tuners for this because most likely, you put the money out and you’re still going to have the nut issue.

String buzz. I’m hearing low string low E string buzz. There’s no string buzz on this. You know why? Because this sucker is not cranked down a lot of times. If this end of the bridge is lowered too much it, doesn’t allow much free play for the string to ring, so it starts to rattle. So it’s mostly a set up issue. Also, if you get high action where it’s like it’s hard to play because the strings really far from the fret, don’t worry about it. It’s going to be a setup issue. Most likely, it’s this height, possibly a truss rod adjustment. That is probably going to get tweaked a little bit just from shipping. Things get rattled loose, can get knocked around in a cardboard box. So a lot of these issues that you’re reading on the Internet about, oh it’s out of tune, oh you know string rattles, and oh, I got like there’s like a retainer here that keeps the saddles down, so you take the strings off, the saddles don’t fall out. The saddles fall out, they’re going to move within that screw, and your intonation is off. Take it to a shop get it set up properly. Don’t worry about it once it’s set up all these issues will be addressed and you’ll have one fine guitar.

What’s the difference between a plain top and a plus top. There’s absolutely no difference. The only difference is, see this nice flamey pattern on here, that’s what makes it the plus top. If you get the plain, it’s just a plain straight grain maple top. That’s the only difference. Everything else is exactly the same. It’s only cosmetics. It’s not going to sound any better. It may just look pretty visually, but that’s it. So it’s just basically what do you like? Do you want something just fine plain, or something just a little bit fancier. So, that’s all it is for the plane versus plus top.

Takeaways

Anyhow, so what are you going to get from this whole video? Basically, if you want to change out the pickups, go for it. Ask yourself, what type of music do you like to play first? What kind of amplifier are you going to run this guitar through mostly? Is it too dark, is it too light? Do you like to drive the amp from pedals or a boost, or do you want to drive it from the guitar? That will kind of help steer you. Go into a guitar place, try out different ones. Each one feels a little bit different, might be a little bit different in tone. Don’t disregard the electronics that are already in there first. Try that out. See if that suits you. This is by far, not some piece of junk guitar. I totally enjoy this guitar. I’ve owned so many guitars over the years, at least, you know, three dozen different guitars from Fender Custom shops, to Gibson Les Pauls, Gibson Flying V’s, which I still own. And they didn’t have anything like these when I was starting on a guitar. It was those piece-of-crap SEARS guitars made out of plywood, but that’s all I had. My parents didn’t know any different. I had nobody to bounce ideas off of. You guys got the Internet. That is awesome.  You’ve got a YouTube, thank goodness. If they had YouTube when I was 14, that would have been awesome. Yeah, so you have all that to your disposal to figure out what you want to do with your tone.

So, hope this kind of helped. I do have a video coming up soon that is going to showcase the new pots that I’ve installed since the video that I put up for the review for that Epiphone Les Paul Standard. So hey, have fun with your guitar. I’ll try to get to comments as quick as I can as I see them. There may be a couple days lag, don’t have to keep reposting it. I will get to it eventually. Haters, you know, don’t even bother making a comment. Really gonna dog me on my stupid haircut or if I’m a doctor? Really? Okay. Anyway, have fun and rock on dude. Oh, this is hang loose, huh.

Source

from Electric Guitar Digest http://electricguitardigest.com/epiphone-les-paul-standard/ from Electric Guitar Digest https://electricguitardigest.tumblr.com/post/161703307850

[electricguitardigest-blog]

Epiphone Les Paul Standard Plus Top

Epiphone Les Paul Standard – A Bargain Priced Classic

Epiphone has been building great guitars for a very, very long time. While sometimes falling in the shadow of big brother Gibson, the Epiphone Les Paul Standard is a formidable guitar that delivers great quality, playability, and tone, all at a fraction of the cost of a Gibson Les Paul. There are many people, including myself, that believe that the price differential is completely out of wack. In fact, there a lot of folks who would take the Epiphone over the Gibson regardless of cost.

Below is a video that delivers a very comprehensive review of what the Epiphone Les Paul Standard is and isn’t. He also address the most common issues that seem to arise with this guitar. The good news is these problems are all relatively minor and easily remedied by any competent luthier. For any of you that would rather read along, you’ll find a transcript below the video.

Hi! Stumade64. I’m here today to address a lot of the comments that I’ve been getting from my review of the Epiphone Les Paul Standard Plus Top.

First off, thanks for all the nice comments about my playing. I’m kind of a noodler, so you know, as to say, wow, good playing, how long have you been playing, it’s kind of nice to hear.

Gibson Les Paul vs Epiphone Les Paul

So anyway, about this great guitar. A couple things I like about it – the Gibson Les Paul. I’ve owned them. They’re heavy guitars. I’ve always had a saying that says if you buy a Gibson Les Paul, get a number of a good chiropractor to go along with it because your back is going to hurt. If you’ve played it, Gibson Les Paul, for a full two hours set, or if you played at a wedding for four hours, or whatever a gig, your shoulder is killing by the end of the night from all that stinking weight. I’ve used wide straps to try to compensate, wide padded straps to kind of compensate, and it’s just it kills you. I mean the tones there, that’s fine and great, but I had to finally get rid of mine. Other than being a piece of eye candy in the middle of the room to look and go ah and go “Ah, I’ve got a Gibson Les Paul”. I couldn’t play because it just killed me. But this model, it’s solid. It’s lighter than the Gibson Les Paul’s I’ve played. The neck is not as fat. My gold top that I used to have had like a slim taper so that was okay. It’s a little fat, but it is okay to fit my hands. I’m more of a Strat player. I’ve been playing Strats since I was my teens, so that that standard C fits my hands perfectly. This fits it well. I’m comfortable with this. Fatter necks, it fills my hands up too much. I can’t navigate over the fingerboard like I should. So I like that. It fits. If you’re a Strat player, it’s a nice graduation into a double humbucker model without fattening up your hands too much. Grover tuners right out of the box. Something that the seventies guitar players, all classic rock guys, are like switching out their Clusen tuners for Grover’s. So it’s a good tuner. The finish is really nice. I mean sheez! I mean look at that. That’s beautiful. The back, even though I’ve had it for a little bit, it’s not scratched up. There’s some buckle rash, but not too bad. Um yeah, so I really like it. It fits my needs.

How Much Does the Name on the Headstock Matter to You?

I’ve had people come up to me after gigs and say, “Wow, what is that? Is that like a Gibson?” I was like, “No it’s an Epiphone”, and the teenagers walk away from me like, “Oh, it’s not a Gibson.” It’s like, ” Dude! Tone is tone. If it’s a piece, and like a cigar box with strings on it, and it’s awesome tone, that’s fine. And guess what? It’s not so much the instrument, it’s in your fingers that’s given your tone. Yeah, so all that getting your gear to look like Clapton, or Slash, or wherever your guitar hero is, it’s not going to do it. You need to work on these things; you got to use your ear more, listen the album’s, try to emulate what you’re hearing with as far as attack, dynamics is important to get there. Use your ear more than anything. Do a lot of listening. That will get you closer to the type of tone you want to hear in your head, then going out and buying all…

How to Examine Your New Epiphone Les Paul Standard

Anyway, anyhow! Let’s talk about checking your Epiphone after you get it. If you have it shipped to your house, it’ll be in a cardboard box. All there is is styrofoam, little wedges on each side and at the top, no case. It’s not carefully padded. It is like getting a computer keyboard in the mail. It’s just tossed in there, a couple little wedges and you’re done. So it gets banged up in that case. You want to check for certain damage right away. You want to check for if there’s any kind of physical chips in the paint, there’s any cracks in the body. Especially, you want to make sure there’s no cracks here in the neck joint, right up in here, and you want to make sure there’s no cracks up in here, or on the sides anywhere in the headstock. You want to make sure there’s no cracks, and I mean deep cracks, even if it’s a finished crack. I would even debate that. When I got my first one, that’s how I know. I didn’t have the luxury of going to a guitar store and taking two hours to sort through their selection to pick out a guitar. I normally do that. I was in a bind. I needed a guitar right away. I kind of know what to look for. I did a lot of reviews. I said, okay it sounds like a good guitar, so I ordered it. It came in to the mail, to my doorstep, sorry, with a big ol’ crack, right here behind the nut, right there. So, and then there was a couple of chips. The top here, most likely it fell on its head when it was in the box, hit that, compromised the neck. I’m sure, eventually, with tension from the strings, it would start to, you know, make that crack a little bit more defined. I sent it right back. They said no problem. We’ll replace it. This is Musicians Friend. It’s pretty nice. This is the second one they sent back and it’s perfect. I’ve checked everything. There’s no cracks on the neck, especially the neck joint. That’s super important. There’s nothing like finished cracks on the body at all. Hardware is not loose, so that’s really, really important to make sure that everything is perfectly intact in this. If you go through a store, most likely they’ve already inspected that kind of thing. Now that will kind of take away some that uncertainty you have if you order online. But for the record, Musician’s Friend was great with replacing the guitar. So don’t remove any of the protective stuff. If there’s like a something that protects the toggle switch which is like a foam thing. Don’t remove any of that stuff until everything is inspected so that when you return it, you know, and return it like quickly, like within a day or so, don’t wait like a couple weeks or anything like that. So yeah, make sure to inspect it when you get it shipped to you.

Epiphone Les Paul Issues – Few and Easily Fixed

Let’s talk about tuning issues and other issues that I keep reading about reviews and people’s reluctance to buy this guitar. Tuning. I hear constant things about tuning on this. They say I play it, it goes out of tune all the time. I turn it back up, still playing out a tune. I’m going to swap out the tuners because they’re crap. No, don’t do it. What happens, and this complaints about this from the Gibson side too that’s coming out of their shop with Les Paul’s, it’s the nut. A a lot of times, they are not cutting this slot properly and it’s not a clean slot, so it is hanging up the string at the slot. A real simple method for that, if you like to work on guitars anyway and you have nut files, all you do is you take a couple swipes, depending on what gauge you’re using, like if this was like say like a 46 gauge, you’re going to use your 46 gauge nut file and just make one or two passes. That’s all you need. You don’t want to gouge the nut deeper unless you want, you know, unless you have some reason why you want that thing deeper. I strongly recommend that you take it to some guitar shop or luthier that knows what they’re doing. It’s no big deal. It’s a couple passes. It shouldn’t cost you too much. But if it’s not the nut, I would suggest using pencil graphite lead and all you got to do is just run your pencil in, and like, right over the slot. You take the string out of the nut, run it over the slot so you get some graphite inside of the slot, put the string back in the little debris of pencil lead and then wipe off, like it would be kind of blackened on the nut, so you’ll want to make sure you wipe that off. Tune it up to proper tuning and try and see if that works. Otherwise, get the nut slots cleaned out. I did the nut slot thing myself because I built guitars also. It was no big deal. One swipe through all six strings, put it back on, and I’ve had no turning issues.

Another issue you want to make sure is too is that you have the string stretched out properly. Don’t put a brand-new set of strings on, tune it up, and go, oh, it’s all still of a tune. You got a play it for a good hour or so solidly and then see if there’s still tuning issues at the end of that period of time. If that’s the case, then you know it’s something within the nut slot and it might just affect one string. Usually, if it’s just one string then you know it’s probably just that one spot that’s being taken care of. So really make sure you get that issue take care of. Grover tuners are solid. There’s no reason why you need to swap out the tuners. These are great tuners. You’re wasting your money by spending, you know, the 50, 60 bucks on replacing tuners for this because most likely, you put the money out and you’re still going to have the nut issue.

String buzz. I’m hearing low string low E string buzz. There’s no string buzz on this. You know why? Because this sucker is not cranked down a lot of times. If this end of the bridge is lowered too much it, doesn’t allow much free play for the string to ring, so it starts to rattle. So it’s mostly a set up issue. Also, if you get high action where it’s like it’s hard to play because the strings really far from the fret, don’t worry about it. It’s going to be a setup issue. Most likely, it’s this height, possibly a truss rod adjustment. That is probably going to get tweaked a little bit just from shipping. Things get rattled loose, can get knocked around in a cardboard box. So a lot of these issues that you’re reading on the Internet about, oh it’s out of tune, oh you know string rattles, and oh, I got like there’s like a retainer here that keeps the saddles down, so you take the strings off, the saddles don’t fall out. The saddles fall out, they’re going to move within that screw, and your intonation is off. Take it to a shop get it set up properly. Don’t worry about it once it’s set up all these issues will be addressed and you’ll have one fine guitar.

What’s the difference between a plain top and a plus top. There’s absolutely no difference. The only difference is, see this nice flamey pattern on here, that’s what makes it the plus top. If you get the plain, it’s just a plain straight grain maple top. That’s the only difference. Everything else is exactly the same. It’s only cosmetics. It’s not going to sound any better. It may just look pretty visually, but that’s it. So it’s just basically what do you like? Do you want something just fine plain, or something just a little bit fancier. So, that’s all it is for the plane versus plus top.

Takeaways

Anyhow, so what are you going to get from this whole video? Basically, if you want to change out the pickups, go for it. Ask yourself, what type of music do you like to play first? What kind of amplifier are you going to run this guitar through mostly? Is it too dark, is it too light? Do you like to drive the amp from pedals or a boost, or do you want to drive it from the guitar? That will kind of help steer you. Go into a guitar place, try out different ones. Each one feels a little bit different, might be a little bit different in tone. Don’t disregard the electronics that are already in there first. Try that out. See if that suits you. This is by far, not some piece of junk guitar. I totally enjoy this guitar. I’ve owned so many guitars over the years, at least, you know, three dozen different guitars from Fender Custom shops, to Gibson Les Pauls, Gibson Flying V’s, which I still own. And they didn’t have anything like these when I was starting on a guitar. It was those piece-of-crap SEARS guitars made out of plywood, but that’s all I had. My parents didn’t know any different. I had nobody to bounce ideas off of. You guys got the Internet. That is awesome.  You’ve got a YouTube, thank goodness. If they had YouTube when I was 14, that would have been awesome. Yeah, so you have all that to your disposal to figure out what you want to do with your tone.

So, hope this kind of helped. I do have a video coming up soon that is going to showcase the new pots that I’ve installed since the video that I put up for the review for that Epiphone Les Paul Standard. So hey, have fun with your guitar. I’ll try to get to comments as quick as I can as I see them. There may be a couple days lag, don’t have to keep reposting it. I will get to it eventually. Haters, you know, don’t even bother making a comment. Really gonna dog me on my stupid haircut or if I’m a doctor? Really? Okay. Anyway, have fun and rock on dude. Oh, this is hang loose, huh.

Source

from Electric Guitar Digest http://electricguitardigest.com/epiphone-les-paul-standard/