#but the minimum to look at is if the degree will cost more than you can expect to make in a year

[uselessthimbs]

man. I'm working on compiling a list of masters programs I want to apply to, so I can narrow it down on what I can AFFORD to apply to. Because each application costs money, so I'm not applying to just everywhere like I should absolutely be able to.

the number of these master programs that want 1300 PER CREDIT HOUR (58k thereabouts USD for a 2 year master program) is BONKERS. This is more than I can expect to make in a year starting out unless I get lucky.

Granted there are schools that offer WAY less per credit hour (the main school I'm pretty sure I'll go to if they accept me is about 17k for the full degree iirc)

[catboybiologist]

I would add for the person that asked about the PhD, and I'm being very serious here:

If you are thinking about doing a PhD because you're not certain what you want to do, the job market looks scary, and it seems like a very easy and straightforward next step from your undergraduate degree it's very likely that you're about to have an extremely unpleasant next 5-6 years of your life.

I both agree and disagree. And fuck this turned into a long answer about both the joys and the bullshit that is a PhD.

PhDs can be amazing and enjoyable, but you really have to enjoy them for the research itself. You can't be chasing prestige, you can't be chasing a paycheck.

PhDs are like, the time in your career to fuck around with research. Since the arc of your career isn't set in stone, you can really think about acquiring new skills constantly, doing eclectic side projects, talking with professors outside of your field, and digging into inquiry both in terms of novel research and being fed information that already exists. Many academics say that their PhD was the time in their research career where they felt the most enriched by the sheer freedom and inquiry of it all.

And honestly, I've been feeling that as well. My 1.5 years of my PhD so far have been some of the best times of my life. My research is interesting, I'm learning so many amazing things, I've met so many incredible people, and the sense of community that exists in the academic world for early career people is amazing. I mean this both professionally and socially- without the lgbt grad student group I'm a part of, the decision to start HRT would've been a lot more difficult.'and the sense of community that exists in the academic world for early career people is amazing. I mean this both professionally and socially- without the lgbt grad student group I'm a part of, the decision to start HRT would've been a lot more difficult.

Of course, the make or break point with how enjoyable your research is, is your research advisor/principle investigator. They essentially control what your research is going to be like. I had an incredible undergrad PI, and I also have an incredible PhD PI. But.... my master's PI..... shudder. PI selection could be its own post, but I'm adding this paragraph last, and Y I K E S this is already long.

So you really gotta love it for research's sake, and work with good people. Many people go into a PhD wanting to make some splash on the scientific world or their field. This also means they're more likely to try to chase prestige, and work with big figures in their field even if the lab environment is toxic and unsupportive. The reality is that whether that happens, and when, is a stroke of luck. And also, you'll essentially keep chasing that high forever. I had the good fortune to stumble into a prestigious collaboration during my undergrad that got me a good publication. While I'm still grateful for my luck and proud of it, too many academics base their self worth on that kind of thing- which is a one way ticket to self-abuse and burnout.

And then, of course, there's the money. As I've mentioned in my pin, you're often getting paid minimum wage, or oftentimes, less than minimum wage, in high cost of living areas, when you already have multiple technical degrees. The way they validate varies between universities, but its always backhanded. For me, my yearly income is, on paper, about triple what I actually get paid.

There are two ways this is validated. One, even though you're an employee and oftentimes aren't taking classes, the university still charges you tuition. The IRS at least isn't evil enough to tax you on income you don't take home- your "tuition" is deductible (although the Republican led congress in 2017 tried [and luckily failed] to change this[if I hear one more person claim that Republicans are anti-taxes I'm going to flip my shit]).

The other way is by fucking with your hours. Some universities don't consider any work you do on *your* research project to be "work". Instead, anything reportable as "work" has to be something in service to the university- a familiar way is TAing, but even when you're not TAing, *technically* some universities want you to have several side projects that are completely unrelated to your thesis. Which is basically impossible. So, oftentimes, you're on a contract that considers you a part-time employee, when you're actually working more than 40 or 50 hours a week.

This is bullshit also because the line where one project begins and another ends is so fuzzy that it doesn't exist. I have two major overarching things I work in, that are pretty cleanly delineated bc they're in two different model organisms, but even then there's so much crossover that it's hard to tell what's going to make it into my actual thesis by the end. Also, your thesis makes money for the university. The grant money that your thesis will generate, partially goes to the university itself, through various mechanisms including overhead charges on funding and/or charging "rent" on professors that maintain labs.

Of course, both of these are fucking bullshit and only exist so that universities can exploit tax loopholes, that I can't claim to understand. A lot of recent union negotiations in my University system are changing some of this (kinda doxxing myself but there's a shitton of campuses and its one of the largest uni systems in the US and y'all already knew what state I was in so *shrug*) and while I support them, I don't claim to understand a lot of the new agreements. I really, really don't have a brain for paperwork and bureaucracy, but there's a lot of helpful union reps and advisors whose help I lean on heavily.

Again. I don't understand a lot of this. I have 0 brain for this. I have severe ADHD. I let things happen and ask my peers for help on this a lot. This could be different at other unis, or I could just be flat out wrong about the stuff I'm experiencing.

I'm gonna be honest... I've also just been working on post burnout fumes since my master's and I'm just in a lab environment that's been patient with me on that. I do enjoy what I do though, but I'm certainly taking things much slower and more relaxed than a lot of my peers. Oftentimes, this is punished, but hey. I already have an MS, and I'm having fun so far, so we'll just see how far this takes me.

But yeah. tl;dr PhDs are an amazing, beautiful, and wonderful thing where the true heart of science really lets you cut loose and do exciting things. But you have to love it a lot, because my fucking god the practical reality of it is that you're being deliberately fucked over at every step of the way.

And don't even get me started about master's degrees. Holy fuck that shit is rough.

[apprenticestanheight]

All is Well That Ends Well: Lawrence Gordon x gn! afab! reader: Part I

Allllllll right!! The long awaited sugar daddy lawrence fic is here!! Well, the first part is, but anyway--sugar daddy anon, if you're reading this, thank you so much for planting the seeds of an idea in my head. I wrote the entirety of the first section of this fic across four days and have plenty more to write still, but truthfully none of this would've occurred had you not popped an ask into my inbox.

There are six parts for this section and in total, before editing, it amounted to 18k words and 38 pages on MS Word. I can't say exactly how many words the fic will amount to in total, but I can say that, if it goes as I expect, the fic will definitely climb past the 40-50k word mark and might even hit and then climb over 100k words. Updates will be posted weekly on thursdays and typically at or around the same time!

Fic type - this first part is pretty neutral--fluffy-neutral mostly.

Warnings - the reader is passively suicidal (the fic is set in 2002 initally and throwaway jokes of that were common. Plus, I wrote this while in the midst of an exhaustion enduced brain fog and it's just one throwaway line, which Lawrence does react at them for) and there are a few mentions of debt, plus a mention or two of Jiggysaw himself, john kramer (not by name--as the Jigsaw killer)

You’d always known that you wanted to get a PhD. To you, a doctorate had been the endgame of your education—first, a bachelors and a masters at your university of choice, and then a PhD as the endgame.

The one thing that you’d underestimated—as most high school seniors do—was how much it’d cost you.

For the full four years of your bachelors, what you’d gotten from relatives and the small—$50,000—nest egg given to you by your parents had been completely depleted. Even after the grants and scholarships you’d applied for, you were still $20,000 in debt and that wasn’t even the beginning of it. At the end of things, you took out loans and proceeded with your plan for your masters degree.

You’d gotten your Masters degree when you were 26 and thereafter, after nearly a decade of living at a crappy apartment near the university campus with one of your favorite people in the entirety of the continent, you still went ahead and decided to get yourself a PhD in creative writing. It was a six year program but you’d told yourself it would be worth your while, so you went ahead with it.

All in all, it was a plan to devote fourteen years at minimum to your education, and you’d yet to have any regrets in relation to it because it seemed to be panning out in a way better than you'd expected.

And, anyway, by 2002, you were halfway through your fourth year of the six years you owed to the PhD program and hoping that the degree would take you somewhere useful. It was also your birthday by that point, and you were looking to go to a dive bar, get drunk, meet someone and then do a couple of drunken things you’d both regret the next morning.

You’d decided to celebrate your thirtieth birthday in a dive bar you couldn’t really afford normally, but making the minimum payments on your student loans had allowed you to A, be spiteful because getting an education realistically shouldn’t be expected to toss the average persons bank account into the negatives, and B, have a bit of extra money every paycheck.

You’d also decided to spend the birthday mostly alone—sure, to any extrovert within a twenty mile radius it was a pathetic way to spend the day, but to you it was optimal, especially considering that you’d spent the bigger part of the day with a couple of friends studying as it were—and that seems to have panned out in your favor until a guy sits to your right at the bar counter.  

“Are you spending the night alone?” An unfamiliar voice pipes up. You look to the source of it, turning your head to the right and finding a rather attractive man sat next to you. “With that Jigsaw killer on the loose? Not a smart idea.”

He’s handsome—his attractiveness is the first thing you notice. He’s got well groomed blonde hair, full lips, alluring eyes that are the color of the sea after a storm, and a voice that feels to you like whatever goodness can come from walking with combat boots over cobblestoned streets.

He’s well kept, too—he’s wearing a pair of black dress pants, a white button up and a blue tie. His cufflinks radiate wealth, as does his drink of choice. A scotch on the rocks that looks like it’s aged and aged well.

You scoff. “What, are you him? Do you know the guy?” A smirk plays at your lips. “I happen to be in severe debt and lacking a will to keep going, so if you do, I’d appreciate a referral.”

The man to your right scoffs. “You’d fail the test intentionally, and those jokes aren't funny.”

You shrug. “I am more than a hundred thousand dollars in debt in the name of my education. I am apt to think that wanting for death to avoid the loan sharks that call me a few times every month to try to get me to pay more than the minimum required on said debt is not totally unreasonable.”

The man laughs. “I would never go to such lengths, but the grants that you can get from the government for the endurance of traumatic experiences might help you in the debt department,” he says. “However—a Jigsaw trap is not how to get that money. It's a lot more painful than it's worth, and sometimes the reasons he tests his subjects for are kind of cruel, so trust me, it’s not worth it. What education has put you into so much debt?”

“A Bachelors in Fine Arts, a Masters in Fine Arts, and I am currently four years into a six year PhD program. The endgame with that is to get myself a PhD in Creative Writing and move on to either working as a literary critic or in a publishing house.”

“Interesting,” he nods. He extends a hand, and you shake it. “My name is Dr. Lawrence Gordon.”

“Y/N,” you grin at him. “Doctor, you said? What kind of doctor are you?”

“I’m an oncologist,” he says. “Board certified attending oncologist at Angels of Mercy, matter of fact. I give people the bad news, typically. What do you do, outside of schooling?”

“I work for about twelve dollars above minimum wage in a mom and pop style bookstore. I read and drink coffee on my breaks and study for my degree when I’m not with friends or at work, or in a bar to celebrate my thirtieth birthday with a martini that puts me out eight dollars.”

At this, the handsome man whom you’ve learned more about than you’d ordinarily have liked across the span of ten minutes at best puts his card forward and opens a tab, adds your martini to it with a cocky, flirtatious grin.

“You’re confident,” you murmur.

He shrugs. “I was in a loveless marriage for nearly two decades,” he says. “The divorce proceedings started in the middle of September, and my therapist says I need to get out there a bit. Figured keeping someone in the process of getting their PhD from having to pay for a drink was at least a plausible way to start.”

“I’m not looking for anything serious,” you laugh, taking a sip of your martini. “I joked with my best friend—Aurelie Summers—that I’d be fine to be someones sugar baby the other day. Commitment is the last thing on my mind right now.”

“Paying off loans of past, present, and future seems to be,” Lawrence notes. “But—for the record, neither am I. My last serious relationship became loveless and ended in a mostly amicable divorce where I lost custody of my kid. You’re attractive, absolutely, but I have no interest in anything serious if it’ll end exactly as the last one did.”

“Is that…emotional baggage I sense?” You ask, teasing flirtatiousness making it’s way into your tone.  “If you’d lead with that, I would’ve paid a lot more attention to you initially, Lawrence.”

Lawrence scoffs. “You like those in need of fixing?”

“Not particularly,” you say. “They tend to like me, is all.”

“You draw broken people in, you fix them, and then they get to be better for the next person,” Lawrence nods to himself. “That is what you’re telling me, correct?”

You shrug, toss him a grin and sip your martini mockingly.

“Wish I’d get one of the ones who’d been fixed every once in a bit,” you laugh. It sounds depressing.

“For the record—it’s not emotional baggage. It’s a divorce that I saw coming, the timing is just poor.”

“Did you fail to get a promotion at work and then come home to divorce papers?” You ask, thoroughly amused by the idea.

“The Jigsaw killer trapped me and I was served the papers while I was recovering from a self-amputation, but thank you for the amusing hypothesis,” Lawrence says, a grin turning up the corners of his lips. “This has been a very interesting conversation.”

You grin. “Thank you for finding me interesting. Also for the drink.”

Lawrence nods, gets the bartenders attention and orders you two more before he closes out the tab he’d gotten.

“Whether or not I see you again, happy birthday, Y/N,” he says as he stands. It's at this point that you notice a cane in his hand, the grip he holds on it relaxed but still tight enough to maintain control.

“Whether or not I see you again, thank you,” you nod. “If I do see you again though, I’m gonna want specifics about your job. Seems interesting, and as much as I love the process that it has become to get the fullest extent of my education, I wouldn’t hate going an hour or two every now and again without hearing or thinking of writing or art.”

“And if you know anything about art history or writing, that is what I’m interested in,” Lawrence says, a smirk playing it’s way onto his gorgeous lips. “It’d be nice, getting to leave work and then focus on something that’s not medicinal.”

And then he’s gone.

You watch him walk out, spend the next fifteen minutes drinking the martinis he’d gotten you while rejecting the advances of a guy who is a lot more interested in you than you are him. When you’ve finished up with your drinks you walk home, some very small part of you holding onto the hope that you’ll see Lawrence again before the month is up.

[beardedmrbean]

One of trumps campaign promises is an free online American University. HE IS OFFERING FREE COLLEGE, and people will probably be pissed about it and say it isn’t free college because it doesn’t pay for them to get a useless degree at an overpriced university

Completely forgot American University existed, had to look them up and see what they're about.

Pretty basic, standard degrees you can take just about anywhere

Those are all things that are going to be Swiss Army Knife type departments, get a basic degree if you want to go further you can.

international and unknown would probably flatten those numbers out, except the last two.

Impressive list of graduates too.

people will probably be pissed about it and say it isn’t free college because it doesn’t pay for them to get a useless degree at an overpriced university

Nailed it in one, likely be people saying the classes are indoctrination as well, several other things they'll complain about.

Not free anyhow, wish they would be honest and call it taxpayer funded, which the average person with a degree will in the end contribute more in tax revenue than the education they got cost from a financial standpoint I don't entirely oppose taxpayer funded higher ed.

Just has to be limited to degrees that will actually be things people use and can make a living with, which if you look you can find a list of degrees that qualify for student loan forgiveness after X amount of time making minimum payments provided you work in the public sector with them.

My brother got $250,000 in student loans and such most of which will go poof soon because he's been working in various public defenders offices and similar.

This is going to be similar to him trying to get various countries on board with a pressure campaign on countries around the world in an effort to get them to decriminalize homosexuality, can't toss people in jail for being gay anymore, people said he was racist for doing that or it was only to stick it to Iran,

which who fucking cares if it was or not, you'd rather people in jail or executed for being gay

Nothing any president does will be terribly popular with a fair sized portion of the people, the hope they can have is that history vindicates them.

With this it could be 'here's your option, your other option includes a bill that will need to be payed now instead of over your working life, and you'll also be helping to pay tuition for people going to American University too with your taxes.

Much like people that send their kids to private school still pay the taxes that go to the public ones.

[justaninfosec]

The End of Twitter Verified Accounts

Last Updated: 29 March 2023

I’ve seen a fair bit of confusion floating around about what’s happening with Twitter Verified Accounts. In order to better arm yourself against misinformation and disinformation that may well ensue to an even greater degree in the near future, check out the below.

Bottom line is, the Verified Accounts program will “start winding down”, in Twitter’s words, on 1 April 2023. Once that’s complete, the program will no longer exist, having been replaced by Twitter Blue and Verified Organizations. Twitter Blue ISN’T “a price tag + Verified Accounts”; it’s something different.

The Verified Accounts program was launched in 2009, to help mitigate the impact of impersonation of notable entities and individuals. The intent was to verify accounts that were “authentic, notable, and active”. The requirements to be verified can be found here (an Archive link is used in case Twitter removes the page): https://web.archive.org/web/20221109153246/https://help.twitter.com/en/managing-your-account/legacy-verification-policy

You didn’t pay for a Verified Account; in fact, at many points, Twitter took the initiative on reaching out and working with notable accounts to get them verified. It was an imperfect process, and I’ve seen more than one person that was well-known in their industry struggling to get verified amidst impersonations by others. But you didn’t get to spend money and wind up with a checkmark.

Twitter Blue

Going forward, the blue checkmark will mean the user is subscribed to Twitter Blue - they paid money - and met the eligibility requirements outlined here and on its linked pages: https://help.twitter.com/en/managing-your-account/about-twitter-verified-accounts. There is mention of Twitter looking for an intent to deceive, but the criteria are far less clear than for Verified Accounts and it flat out says that using Twitter pseudonymously is not a violation of the Blue policy.

If you change your photo, display name, or username, you will lose your Blue checkmark until the account is revalidated. Given those first two items get changed frequently by many people, it will be interesting to see how this goes. Particularly given Twitter has cut their employee numbers so much, one wonders how quickly they’ll be able to deal with validations and revalidations.

Folks far more focused on the nuances of Twitter than I have expressed expectations that Twitter Blue is going to cause problems for a variety of reasons, including:

Blue accounts have features that will amplify their content over non-Blue accounts. So, pay some money, amplify your content. This is already showing concerning signs in the realm of misinformation/disinformation.

Many accounts that were Verified in the past have indicated they’ll not pay for Blue, which seems likely to bring back at least some of the impersonation issues that predated Verified Accounts.

Verified Organizations

Businesses, non-profits, and government organizations can apply for Verified Organization accounts. Based on some things I read, I’m currently a little fuzzy on whether this includes things like heads of state having to pay to have the account show it’s a government account. We’ll see.

What I suspect will prove quite key in general is that a Verified Organization account will cost $1000 USD PER MONTH minimum. To affiliate other accounts to the organization account, such as an employee account, will cost an additional $50 USD per month.

So, $12,000 per year minimum to have a Verified Organization account. I wonder how many businesses are going to pay that, so we may see further impersonation issues here.

---

So yeah, we'll see how this goes. I'll post again on the matter after I have a better sense of the shape it's all taking after the 1st of April.

[wri0thesley]

Nat plz don't reply if you find this invasive but what job do you have other than writing? Just curious..

And congratulations 🥰

CONGRATULATIONS ON WHAT?? fdnjkvkjnf

i am a full-time carer for my beloved fiancee! i will not go into their details too much here but they're quite pronouncedly disabled so they need assistance doing a lot of things other people take for granted. that's actually part of the reason i'm online so much! their needs are such that they sleep a lot due to chronic fatigue so i must find something to occupy my day with when they do not need me! unfortunately unpaid caring is neither glamorous nor well-paid (the government pays me what amounts to less than 2.20 an hour assuming i do only the minimum care hours of 35 a week, but i am basically on the clock always! they can get away with this because most unpaid carers look after family members or people they love and we're not going to just abandon them. coincidentally, it would cost the government far more if they had to pay 'real' carers to do what unpaid carers do!).

i was once studying to go into musical theatre as a performer but that was a long time ago now! one day i would like to get an actual degree (possibly through distance learning, possibly in creative writing ) but due to Money Factors that is not an option for me right now. one day!

[an-aura-about-you]

I Was a Queer Salvation Army Bell Ringer

Part 1: Job Searching and the Application Process

I have decided to just bite the bullet and start writing about this to get it all off my chest. I had been doing some research, and there is still some research I intend to do, but it is beside the main point of this mostly anecdotal writing I intend to do. I also decided to make it basically a miniseries as opposed to one long post dumping about everything.

So here we go.

It was the end of October of this year, 2023, and I needed a new washing machine. Between that and the upcoming holiday season, I figured the time was right to get a seasonal job. Surely there would be plenty available, right?

Well, honestly, no. Even during this time of year, job searching was pretty miserable. Job searching has been pretty miserable in general, but even the added jobs to cover the busy Christmas season were pretty miserable. They have a reputation for being easy to get, but I didn't get any sort of word back from most of the seasonal positions I applied to. And that didn't even factor in my limited availability, which would have been the nail in the coffin for most retail positions since I wouldn't be able to help out on any infamous Black Friday sales.

But while hunting for a seasonal job, one listing caught my eye that seemed unusual: Bell Ringer for the Salvation Army.

Not unusual for the reason you might think, however. I had actually worked as a bell ringer for the Salvation Army before back in the autumn and winter of 2006. I was a college student and unaware at the time both of the Salvation Army's anti-queer reputation and my own place in the queer community. I was starting to get hints that I was queer in the classic bisexual-to-asexual pipeline, but I wouldn't learn the term asexual and realize it applied to me until 2010.

What I was surprised about is that I thought they were volunteer only for bell ringers NOW, because it had been some time since I had seen a listing. On top of that, the pay was. Ok, the pay wasn't good by my own personal metrics because almost none of the local job listings are paying well. But the listed pay was better than the state minimum wage. More on that later.

So I decided, "Fuck it. If they choose to hire me, I can't resist the irony of the Salvation Army willingly giving a queer person money."

I clicked the 1-tap apply button on my job search app.

This resulted in an email being sent to me asking me to apply online through the Salvation Army's website. Weird since that defeats the purpose and convenience of the 1-tap apply button, but whatever. I do the thing we all have to do nowadays where you create an account that you know you're never going to use again and apply for the job.

I get a call a couple of days later. It's the woman from the Salvation Army heading up the red kettle program. She asks me to come to the office and fill out a paper application. For some reason, sunk cost fallacy perhaps, I agree and continue with the Sisyphean effort of applying for this job.

When I actually go to the office, I find flyers for the bell ringing job. These advertise that no, they are only offering minimum wage pay for it instead of the range listed on the app. I wish I had taken a screenshot of it because I can't find it now, but my best guess on what happened is the job search app added an estimated range on the job, as it sometimes does, and I missed the part where it said, "estimated pay." My memory is not necessarily a thing to be trusted, but job listings aren't either, so at least we're a match on that.

I fill out the paper application, and I'm informed that orientation is next week. No job interview, no hemming or hawing, the simple act of applying has got me in. They're just looking for warm bodies that are mobile enough to ring a bell. This makes sense to some degree, and indeed it was part of the appeal of the job. I knew from past experience that it is a simple job that requires minimal to no training, theoretically the easiest money one can make without being born into it.

Just like that, I was once again a bell ringer for the Salvation Army.

[windowmanjpeg]

we should be looking for a job and we have been but all the jobs require a degree, are too many hours / give too much money (lmao. basically theres a rly low cap on how much you can work and earn on disability benefits (: ) or are customer facing which would be our worst nightmare so we cant apply to them anyway.

theres one place an hour and a half away that i can apply to for a couple days a week that is kiiinda likely to accept us (over 50% hopefully) but its volunteer work (so it would actually cost me in petrol to do it anyway) and just the idea is overwhelming so i can’t imagine actually doing the job would be much better.

our parents keep telling us we have to get a job but it all seems so bleak every time we look that we have a panic attack and give up for the week. it seems almost impossible to do anything without any experience or higher education, with a physical disability and with all our mental health issues (especially the autism and avpd)

and THEN on top of all of that the benefits system actively discourages you from working because then they cut the tiny amount of money theyre giving you and now youre way iller than before from working and you probably make barely more than what they were giving you anyway because again I HAVE NO PROSPECTS and could never get anything more than a minimum wage job, volunteer work or nothing at all

honestly just want to give up. we will just be poor and a disappointment to everyone and then maybe one day we can be dependent on our partner rather than dependent on the government. its so depressing. we have so much knowledge and so many skills (factual information not bragging sorry for coming across that way) but cant ever use any of them for anything. i wanna die haha

[radigalde]

Okay, so, I started BG3. But this post is not about spoilers. It's about how it looks.

You see, I preordered it when it first became available, and participated in Early Access for most of its duration (except for two last patches). As you may know, during the development Larian abruptly changed the system requirements. And while my laptop with old GTX1050 was sitting comfortably enough in the middle of the old requirements, it's barely able to crawl under the minimum of the new version.

So, while the game was running smoothly with the medium graphic settings at the start of EA, by druids patch I couldn't even get to the first settlement because of the freezes, textures lagging in and out of their blurry existence, T-posing, etc. It was pretty bad.

Reportedly, the final game should have been optimized a bit better, so I decided to give it a shot and see how it looks like on the same laptop almost 3 years since the first download.

Yeah, I know that the cloud gaming exist. It costs money and needs a speedy internet connection.

And the game greeted me with this.

(Changed everything from medium to low except for the texture quality - it's still on medium. Had to say goodbye to the distance blur as well)

Compare it to this from 2020 (screen from another person with approximately same old settings, my screenshots of the old character creation room didn't survive):

Or this (mine 2020 screenshot outside of the character creation):

Same laptop, same graphic card, 3 years of development in-between.

Which is especially gutting, because the hair quality was really good during the first EA patches even on the lower graphic settings and older machines. But at some point the developers decided to change it, turning it into greasy looking pixelated something.

Larian, why :(

Some hairstyles managed to lag through into something decent.

Others did not.

The hair's reaction to lightning in this room/location is atrocious btw.

Even when the textures are fully uploaded.

It's a LED wig, I got it.

Comparison of the first model appearance vs after the textures loaded in is quite funny, though.

It jumped to the left version each time I moved the camera in/out even a tiny bit, loading the textures from the right anew. Each. Time. The same happened during the last patches of EA, except that back then the loading could take a few minutes. Now it's either ~15 sec or not loading at all here.

Tbh, after seeing all of that in the dressing room, I dreaded of what would I see during the main game.

But it's surprisingly better. Almost no jarring rounded pixelation, and no jumping between abyssmal low and normal version of textures.

The reaction to light still sucks sometimes. The hair pick too much from the light sources that are barely visible otherwise and don't light up anything else to the same degree.

As for the optimization: yes, it indeed became better. Still not the first EA release quality for me, sadly, but by far better than the latest EA patches. Textures are way more steady now: they still take a few seconds to load in during the big cutscenes, but it's like nothing compared to the previous mess. During the regular exploration gameplay character (and most of environmental) textures are always steady. I even managed to watch the full crashing cutscene as a, well, cutscene instead of three half-loaded frames that took 20 min to render. And I was running freely on the beach despite the falling ash and everything that almost killed my frames back then.

Also, it still doesn't heat up my laptop all that much, which is a pleasant surprise.

Well, stay tuned for more cursed images, I guess.

Isekai-d into a mobile game.

Oh, and Lae'zel is a fiery redhead on her character portrait for some reason, and other characters' hair is displayed like brighness/contrast +100. I think, something is deeply wrong with the dressing room specifically after all.

[thejacketexchange]

i have an actually eloquent post in me on this (and I wrote fics addressing cherry and how she is) but i'm in a parking lot waiting on an order and waiting for a fic to convert so i can read it so whatever

anyway. i think singling out cherry as the character who gets misogynistic hatred and is unfairly liked is wrong. a couple of posts have been in the tag lately (maybe more? 90% of this fandom is on my blocklist) about it and i think the true target of misogyny in the fandom is sandy.

having said that i think people's inclinations to like cherry come from a degree more spouting from self projection, rah rah girl boss bullshit than her actions in canonical and historical context. she's not a hero for turning temporary spy or for being bare minimum nice to ponyboy. in fact those actions make her look vastly shittier when she refuses to see johnny in the hospital and then publicly snubs ponyboy.

she can understand and admit her boyfriend did grevious acts of harms to others but can't actually face it and reckon with her role in a social and gendered structure. she has morals and values — as long as she's able to do so from a level of distance and safety that won't actually rock the boat for her. if she really had conviction, she'd have risked a level of social isolation by approaching ponyboy in front of her peers like a friend. (and really. she just publicly attended a trial and testified in his favor. what, exactly, would be wrong with a hello? she's publicly linked to him already.) visiting johnny probably would've aided her in being actual friendd and reckoned with bob's misdeeds and helped her fully understand the bullshit social warfare.

that doesn't happen tho and i think people are right to not like her or feel she's lacking. she does catch some misogyny but she's not the ultimate victim of it and she isn't free of criticism. additionally, its worrisome how many people think its okay and good to keep to their social circles at all costs and applaud her for it.

bonus: saying tHe gReAsErS hAvE dOnE wOrSe just tells me you didn't understand this book or historical context.

[greyeyedmonster-18]

Popping in as a super-duper anonymous anon for this one because internships as part of education are just so complicated. I fully, completely understand where that anon is coming from and I can’t say I disagree.

But also, it’s so much harder than that.

I’m a pharmacist. The last year of schooling for a PharmD degree (what most US pharmacists under age…50 or so will have outside of a research setting) is 45 weeks of practical rotations.

I learned a shit-ton in those 45 weeks, and they were absolutely necessary for my education.

They also cost me $20k at my low-rent state school, and I’m pretty sure I wasn’t even allowed to work? Like, my university actively discouraged (forbade?) us from doing so because we were required to work 40 hour weeks for our internships.

So instead, I went twenty (additional) grand into debt and my newlywed husband and I signed up for a credit card that had zero percent interest for the first year so that we could just pay the minimum and carry the debt until I started my adult job. I have no idea how other people without fully employed partners made it through that year. They probably worked anyway, or else took out some hefty personal loans to live on. I definitely cried on my way to work more than once knowing how broke I was, though.

i'm just going to leave this here.

but also, i just want to say how much of a systemic issue this is?? and its a much much bigger conversation than just "i wish people with degrees also had experience working at some point!"

because SAME. but fields like medicine, law, education actively DISCOURAGE students from working while attending school, especially in higher ed by making their workloads and courseloads a certain way. and its largely because of who they want in higher ed and who they don't. There is a REASON academia and higher ed (I'm looking at YOU med-school) is made so rigorous and its to prevent certain folk from obtaining higher degrees. You can @ me all you want about this, but like...I'm not wrong.

so when your company is hiring people who have x amount of degrees instead of people with experience...we can think about that too, yeah?

however, i WILL say i think the education system IS responsible for:

creating sustainable curriculum that promotes diversity amongst grad students and is student centered (not university-centered)

creating policies within universities that also support this (i am looking at you, punitive attendance policies that literally drop students if they miss two classes for "inexcusable reasons". guess what isn't excused? having to work a shift at a job.)

diversifying their course material and implementing experiential and interactive methods of teaching IN the classroom that can provide students opportunities to experiment and learn and reflect on.

[unhingedkorean]

I saw an ad for an app that literally says "Be your own therapist" like, that is the verbatim copy on the beautifully color-graded photo of a happy-looking blonde woman and umm. no. no. nonononononononono. No. NO!

I generally dislike "Just DIY! You'll get the 'same thing' for less $$$$" sentiment that is being pushed more and more. The goddamn point of specialized professionals is that they have the knowledge and training (and often the economics of scale) to do things effectively and efficiently. You're not going to achieve an equivalent result unless you, too, devote enough time to acquire the knowledge and training of a professional.

Obviously there are degrees to this.

A "barista" at Starbucks that makes a little above minimum wage (and at least in case of Starbucks Korea, not actually required to have any kind of barista training or certification) likely isn't going to make better coffee than you and most of the money you're paying goes to corporate profit, so if you're the type of person who considers coffee a mode of caffeine delivery rather than a delicacy, then yeah you're probably better off making your own coffee.

My sister recently decided that she doesn't like the wallpapers in her bedroom and decided to go the DIY route. But she didn't know that the DIY wallpapers she bought off the internet wouldn't work directly on her bedroom walls (something a professional would have considered immediately) and had to do some extra shit she didn't anticipate and she didn't know how to install wallpapers properly so it ended up costing about the same money as hiring a wallpaper professional plus a lot of labor (hers and our father's) and the walls look less polished than a professional's work but that's just wasted time and effort and subpar interior decoration, no real harm done.

But some things are straight up DANGEROUS to be done by an unqualified person. No one says "be your own electrician" because that could burn your house down. If some startup came up with a DIY flu shot kit or whatever it would not be approved because vaccination isn't just about administering the injection, it also requires medical training to evaluate whether it is safe for you to even get vaccinated and monitor for adverse reactions afterwards.

Even licensed therapists go to other licensed therapists because they know that not even a licensed therapist can't self-therapize as the objectivity required to assess and address psychological issues would be lost.

There are 2140892104 mental health self care uwu apps and I'm not categorically against those, but to suggest that a fucking app is a viable replacement for an actual therapist is unethical. But they are not subject to regulations for healthcare related marketing because guess what, they are not a healthcare related business.

[kazzeyy]

why book publishing SUCKS for a career

as more and more time passes for me away from the book publishing industry, i realize what a bad choice it is for so many people, yet so many still view it as desirable...

first of all and yes, most importantly, the pay is DISGUSTING. especially considering all the major publishers’ headquarters are in NYC, which has one of the highest costs of living in the world, and they pay an abysmal salary to anyone who isn’t at a director or executive level. 

it is not livable for anyone under that level unless you: a) have no student loans/debt, b) live with multiple roommates likely in an outer borough, or in a shoebox of a room (still with roommates) in a shitty part of town through your 30s, c) resign yourself to having the bare minimum in retirement savings (aka you can never actually retire), d)you are married and live off of a double income, likely with someone who makes significantly more than you.

IF you happen to be one of the very few lucky ones that gets promoted regularly, you can make maybeeeeee 70K by the time you’re 30. by NYC standards, that’s barely above an entry-level salary. that is not enough to have a 1 bedroom, or hell even a studio, in NYC by a long shot. so you will still need roommates. in your 30s. i had a coworker in her 40s still living with roommates.

but most people do not get promoted very often, so you are stuck making less than 50K for all of your 20s!!!!!!

the people who stuck it out??? very very likely privileged financially in one way or another.

to put it in perspective, i come from a middle (maybe even upper-middle?) class family. by the time I entered the publishing space, I had about the average amount of student loans left--which i was responsible for paying for myself.

i lived in a very cheap room by NYC standards, which fit my bed and a dresser, and that’s it. which i again, paid for myself.

i cooked essentially every meal i ever ate, and never went out socially.

and i was hitting $0 in my bank account every single month by the time i left that place because rents had gone up, but my salary certainly had not! i was contributing a measly amount to my 401K and being charged an arm and a leg for shitty health insurance.

this is all to say, you want to know why there is hardly any diversity in book editors?? bc no one other than already wealthy, often white, people can afford to work there!!!! 

and on top of it, it is extremely competitive to get these jobs, so they are literally looking at ivy grads and people with masters degrees for entry level roles that pay barely above NYC minimum wage.

i just saw a girl from my old pub house post about getting promoted to an ASSOCIATE level after being there for TEN YEARS. and she was so grateful???? like no girl, that’s a fucking insult.

anyway, less than 3 years out of publishing, and i’ve more than doubled my salary so :)

[hazellore]

Trans Liberation. Now.

Paying for college in this day and age is day and age is pretty outrageous to begin with, without also throwing in a government who wants you dead and a dysfunctional society who sees you as an oddity at best, or a dangerous, sociopathic predator at worst. We have to fight to be seen as less than equal. We are told that we should be thankful for the bare minimum. To be called the right name. To be referred to with the right pronouns.

It is absurd to me that people can claim things are equal, that transphobes can look at pride month and scoff. With the never-ending amount of anti-trans legislation being passed across the country, I don't feel safe here, in the deep south, nor would I feel safe in the north. The Supreme Court of the United States wants us gone. They have demonstrated it with their recent actions, as well as their outright refusal to grant protections.

It's well known that the only way to somewhat secure your future in this country is to graduate from college with a bachelor's degree, and that's just the floor, not the ceiling. This is harder for transgender people for countless reasons. For one, we are more susceptible to mental illness than most people. Make no mistake, gender dysphoria can be FATAL, and when untreated often leads to the development of many more problems (including depression, eating disorders, and in nearly all cases, anxiety disorders) It's hard to see yourself living another year when dealing with this, and the thought of planning for the future, paying for classes and committing yourself to the high-pressure collegiate environment is nigh impossible.

Ever notice how there are hundreds, if not thousands of scholarships dedicated to every denomination of Christianity you can think of, and mere dozens for LGBT students? It's just not possible to look at this and honestly think the system is not biased against the transgender populations (as well as all others under the queer umbrella.)

This does not even take into account the expenses associated with being trans. I am lucky enough to be near a pharmacy that sells HRT at-cost (Park West pharmacy in Little Rock - highly recommend!!) but even so, my expenses still tally up to wreck my savings account every quarter. There just aren't enough hours in the day to fund transition on your own and pay for college, and that's if you can even land a job in the first place, when employers refuse to hire you for your identity, and if they do hire you, will fire you at a moment's notice.

Stand up for trans liberation. Let's make a difference. Together.

The #TransgenderFirst College Scholarship- For Transgender Students (onlinedegree.com)

[degrees-of-fuck]

Thinking about my OCs as DoL protags #2: Eden and Esmee Koizumi

im sorry for subjecting you to more of this but thats why read more exists i guess. I put these 2 together because. Y’know. Being deeply codependent twins, they can’t really Be separated outright. Each other coming up is kind of inevitable. Also as I mentioned before the actual Degrees of Lewdity character Eden is not going to come up here because it would be so fucking confusing to talk about that, as much as I think it would be interesting.

tw for quasi-incestuous bullshit. Like more than whatever Robin and Clara have going on. And also once again, LONG.

The twins were the minor child star children of some out of town rich folk, so when a servant arrived dropping off the two ten year olds all hush-hush and on the down low, it was... Strange. As far as the twins themselves know, this orphanage was just... Nearby. Exactly their god damn luck.

People were very curious about them at first, but on account of them both being really difficult to talk to in their own ways interest would eventually die down. Eden would likely have made constant vain attempts to make Bailey like them. Going around scolding the others for things they wouldn’t like, bringing (poorly made) coffee every morning, shit like that. Esmee on the other hand fucking hates Bailey and has made it her life mission to make their life more difficult in every way she can conceive of. She hates authority figures by default, but with how much she likely rifled through their stuff, she probably figured out exactly how bad they are pretty early on.

TF-wise, I’d say that Eden is a harpy angel and Esmee is a harpy fallen angel! They’re riddled with angelic imagery in any universe and they have simultaneously a songbird thing And a swan thing going on. So angels and birds are Key Koizumitwins Motifs that I cannot ignore.

They were both with the temple from a pretty young age. They’d probably know Sydney pretty well?? (I’ll go more into what a clusterfuck I’m picturing THAT as in a bit-) Eden would remain loyal to the temple, but Esmee - curious cat that she is would find some shady shit about them eventually. That paired with her dislike of being constrained in any way and how creepy some of the clergy members here are would lead to... Well, she wouldn’t stop showing up. She’d be too worried about Eden. But she’d stop paying attention and stop giving a shit. Minimum grace lol. She’s just sat next to Eden glaring viciously at anyone that approaches them.

I think Eden would end up in a similar boat to Robin, honestly. I can’t picture any way that Esmee would even be willing to let them pay their own rent in this hell town. She NEEDS to preserve that innocence she hates so much at all costs. So from the moment she turned 18, she was paying for two. Eden is technically the older twin and takes that seriously, so this serves as yet another instance of them failing to protect her. So they really fucking resent this arrangement, but not quite enough to change it.

Speaking of which, they probably wouldn’t talk to Robin much honestly. At the orphanage, the two would keep to themselves and not really befriend any of the other orphans. (Particularly with what an annoying little hardass Eden was as a kid lmao)

On top of them both being kind of childhood friends with Sydney, both would be drawn toward them for the same reason! Sydney reminds Eden of their idealized version of Esmee and reminds Esmee of Eden. So obviously they’d both have weird feelings for them. :) And also both would be maybe... A little too in favour of Sydney dying their hair black and maybe cutting it? A bit shorter? Maybe? Don’t look into it too much, you’ll get a headache. 😬 

Esmee finds Sydney FUCKING INFURIATING sometimes tbh. Like for the Exact reason she’s drawn to them, too. Of course she’s annoyed by them, they remind her of her sibling that she “hates.” She thinks that there’s no way they can survive in this world and is making a near constant concerted effort to corrupt them because of that. Which also? Removes a lot of the traits that remind her of Eden??? I guess it’s where she vents the part of her that wants to shatter Eden’s bubble of immaculate purity that stands in opposition to the larger part of her that wants to protect it.

Eden has a lot in common with Sydney tbh, so they can be Besties. The only reason Eden doesn’t sneak out of the orphanage to hang out with Sydney at the temple at night is that they know Esmee is out there, might see and would be seemingly unreasonably angry at them for going out alone at night (because she doesn’t want them to be jumped). Sometimes they manage to swallow their pride and ask her to go together, but not often. They’re the older twin, damn it! Why should they have to ask their little sister to protect them!? But they do want to do that, because they have really horrible insomnia. At least the two can bond over a chronic lack of sleep. They take naps together in the library <3 On the more negative side, Sydney reminds Eden of their idealized version of how Esmee used to be. Which sucks for Sydney. They may not be able to protect their actual sister, but they CAN try to protect Sydney! SO BASICALLY EDEN BECOMES A STALKER. (like twin like twin i guess) This. Might put a bit of a dampener on their friendship once Eden gets to that point,,,,,,,,,

Esmee’s actual love interest would probably be Kylar! She’s fully aware of how fucked they are, but she’s like. About equally fucked in a different direction, she thinks. If anything, she respects the Stalker Hustle lol. AND they have  really nice knife! She has lots of knives! Kylar check out her knives. These ones are throwing knives, but they’re really cute right? (Plus it’s. Nice to not be the one over-anxiously following someone around trying to keep them safe for once. And they’ll NEVER abandon her, unlike SOME people!) Although I think that actually getting involved with Kylar puts Esmee in A LOT OF DANGER! Because ESMEE FUCKS. If someone looks like they’ll make Eden worry about Esmee and need to keep close to her, she’s right into their pants. If someone looks like they’ll satisfy her self harming Thrill-seeker tendencies, she is into their pants. You get the picture. She is going to wreak absolute havoc on Kylar’s nerves, even if she Does put a stop to this if they get into a serious relationship just on account of being a massive flirt with a particular reputation. Good luck both of you : I

SO BASICALLY we have Kylar stalking Esmee who is stalking Eden (and about 12 other people) who is stalking Sydney! COOL.

In theory, Esmee would be a fun delinquent that would absolutely get in on whatever Whitney’s got going on. However. Whitney would bully Eden MERCILESSLY I imagine?? So Esmee wants Whitney in a hastily dug hole in the woods, with twenty knives in them. Sorry Whitney Likers. So I imagine that as far as Whitney’s concerned, Esmee’s in the same category as Kylar: Weird little creep that pulls knives on them in the cafeteria. She’s just slightly cooler on account of the whole Bad Girl 😎 thing.

Esmee gets around a lot, but I don’t think she’d prostitute herself. Not out of concern for her wellbeing or like Puritan Moral reasons tho. Just PURE UNADULTERATED SPITE toward Bailey for being so eager to whore her out. She mostly steals and blackmails. Well liked by Landry I’d imagine!

Avery took Esmee out on like two dates because she’s a pretty little thing that they know to be a talented musician that would make them look good, but her personality was too unbearable to them lol. After one violent encounter in a hotel room, they never went out together again as Avery moved onto Eden! Who is ALSO a pretty little thing they know to be a talented musician that would make them look good ! The key difference is that Eden is malleable. Truly, a much better companion than that sister of theirs that keeps popping their tires and phoning them in the night with threats and a voice changer. It’s a shame that they’re so, uh... Reserved, though. The furthest Avery’s managed to get them to go is nervous mouth stuff and it’s really starting to piss them off.

In terms of teachers, Eden is probably well-liked by most of them? (Though they mostly avoid Leighton.) Sirris probably likes them both on account of having been good friends with Sydney for so many years. Doren has likely noticed Esmee’s weird behaviour tho tbh. She’s told them a lot of weird shit that sure SOUNDS like she was raped, but she keeps insisting that she’s FINE, ACTUALLY. Very concerning. They keep telling her she can come to them whenever she needs to talk, but she keeps blowing them off :/ Esmee likes to swim at the lake and Mason’s is her favourite class, so she spends plenty of time annoying the shit out of them and trying to blow them off too.

As for Leighton,,,, Eden avoids them like the plague and cries a little whenever the threat of detention even comes up. Esmee often ends up taking their place, borrowing their uniform and re-styling her hair to look like them on the rare occasion they somehow get it. As for Esmee,,,, I think that while she hates Leighton, she probably features in their Home Movies and Photo Albums quite regularly. Better than Eden and in a sense, it feels kind of cathartic to her. Occasionally, Eden tries to return the favour in a moment of courage. They don’t exactly regret it? But they hate it SO SO MUCH. If they way Leighton treats them is frightening, the way Leighton treats Esmee is enough to give them a heart attack! Which is really all the more reason to take their sister’s place whenever they can do so sneakily enough that she won’t bully them into staying out of it. Thankfully, Leighton’s interest lies mostly in watching, but they still come out of every instance of this wanting to sob and throw up. Esmee can never know.

Esmee is probably on good terms with Darryl. Same feelings of frustration toward them as Sydney and Eden occasionally, but she feels a lot more guilty for those feelings in this instance. She appreciates having a place to work that doesn’t involve Briar and being whored out and breaking her Spite Pact. It’s a shame because she wants to fuck Briar. (Plus it’s like, safer or whatever. She doesn’t care about that part.) I think Esmee will tend toward defending them and then acting super aloof toward them for the rest of the night.

Every time Esmee disappears for a while under suspicious circumstances, Eden just completely retreats into themselves and refuses to leave their room <3 Or hers, more likely. Yea they probably just start sleeping there and lock themselves in.

Esmee seems like a fucked up little sewer rat treasure hunter sort to me lol. Depends on her mood at the time. This does unfortunately mean she has totally met Morgan. She.... Stayed with them for longer than she cares to admit. Being Charlene and staying with a parent that would never abandon you to the point of it being terrifying was something that held a certain appeal to her, even if it was fucking awful down there. She hates herself for it, but sometimes she goes back and gets caught on purpose. Just to pretend for a while.

Lol Eden somehow managed to win the math competition without drugs and everyone is perpetually baffled by how they pulled this off. (IT’S BECAUSE THEY DON’T FUCKING SLEEP. They were really desperate to win both that and the science fair, it was finally a way to make money that they could do! They wanted to help their sister!!!)

Both of them met Avery basically simultaneously when Esmee was trying to help Eden up a tree with her weak ass 5′2 self. Avery helped them up, but was more drawn to Esmee initially, since she’s the more charming of the two.

[ahhvernin]

So let me get this straight. If you didn't go to college, and went straight to work with a "real job" because you opted for trades skill, but the salary is garbage, and you're in debt, then you "should have gone to college." But if you went to college and can't find a "real job" because the degree job market is saturated with excessive duties compare to pay then you "shouldn't have gone to college and learned a REAL trade skill."

Plus the old timey way of janitor to CEO doesn't exist anymore. For some reason promotion from within doesn't seem to happen as often anymore.

AND housing costs has increased faster than wages for non-degree and degree- holding workers.....

I don't think its an issue of the worker or student anymore. AND BTW if you're an employer looking for a BS degree who can do Master's level work but only offer a high school degree salary, that's why you're wondering why no one wants to work for you.

If you're an employer looking for MS degree and expect MS work, but salary is BS degree or lower, that's why you're wondering why no one wants to work for you.

If you're an employer who is looking for any degree, but expect them to do the work of a whole team of 3 or more people, and that's why you're wondering why no one wants to work for you.

If you're an employer who is looking for any degree, but expect them to do a 40+ work week in 30 hours with minimum wage, and that's why you're wondering why no one wants to work for you.