#but the only reason i even WENT to rehab was cause they just opened a mental health only wing. im not an alcoholic or an addict so why could

[kieranculkingirl]

hopefully getting out of the sober living house by monday hehe

[coco-loco-nut]

We Can’t Be Friends

Pairing: George Russel x Reader

Summary: George’s girlfriend, a former child actor, is not well liked by the public

TW: mentions of alcohol and drug abuse, implied child exploitation

A/n: going off of the more popular interpretation of the song (ari vs the public)

requests open!🫶 masterlist

———————

You just finished filming a short interview in a docuseries with some of your former colleagues, those who fell into the same trap and downfall as you did. You prefer not to air everything out, but you knew your statement would support the others.

The industry basically forced you into a drug and alcohol addiction, one that you thankfully beat, but you went from someone who was once loved to someone hated, just from how the media spun your name.

You met George at a hospital event -you now work as a biochemist and bioengineer- and he immediately recognized his childhood crush. You dated for a year before feeling strong enough to go public, but ever since he posted a very cute picture of you, the hate has started again.

“I’ll make a statement asking them to leave you alone,” George offers but you shake your head no. He hates seeing you upset, but both of you didn’t expect the backlash on you.

“They won’t understand, they could never even try. They will never know what it was like to grow up like that, even the docuseries won’t help,” you start to dismiss the thought.

“We can’t do nothing,” he tries to reason, wanting to protect you.

“I don’t want to tiptoe around the public, but I don’t want to hide, either way I’m feeding this fire,” you groan, running your hand through your hair as you pace the room. You had to call off of work today, the entrance to your townhome being blocked by paparazzi.

“The story is gonna die, and we’ll be alright,” George stands up and pulls you into a hug. In your mind you picture the public liking you again, waiting for their love again.

A few days later, George drags you out of the house for lunch, you had only been leaving for work. The two of you step out, a reporter immediately coming up to you. You ignore the first few, sitting in your silence.

“It’s just me and you, Baby girl,” George whispers to you, supporting you however you choose to respond.

“Y/n, is it true that you have been in and out of rehab for the past year? You are in and out of hospitals,” one reporter, who always hounds you, asks causing you to whirl around. You don’t want to argue, but you don’t want to bite, so you choose a confusing answer.

“You’ve got me misunderstood, but at least I look this good,” you smirk, watching their face scrunch in confusion, gripping their paper and pen, before continuing your walk.

The next day a clip of one of your short interviews drops, taken while you were in college, as a trailer for the docuseries release the following week.

~-~-~-

I don’t like how this industry painted me, but I’m still here hanging, just not what they made me. It’s almost like a daydream sometimes, finally leaving that world. I feel so seen, I am everything that I defined myself as, not all that the industry made me be. My truth and I may always sit in silence, but one day I hope I am brave enough to say it out loud. For now, it’s only me on the road after recovery, but maybe that’s all I need.

~-~-~-

buzzfeed.com/uk

A list of every child actor we need to apologize to after watching “Drugged: The Truth Behind the Lives of Child Actors”

1. Y/n Y/l/n

~-~-~-

“Are you sure you want to go out there?” George asks, looking at the crowds of journalists. You nod, tired of being silent and waiting for things to be better, not caring about feeding the fire anymore.

“Let’s go,” you release a shaky breath, stepping out behind your boyfriend as he walks you to work.

“Y/n! Anything to comment regarding the documentary that’s been released and the allegations made by your former colleagues?” A journalist asks, the rest hoarding, pens at the ready.

“Actually, I do. You owe us an apology. Villainizing children who needed someone like you to expose how awful our working conditions were, that’s sick and cruel. You wrote lies about us, and instead of apologizing, you want to ask us for statements and exploit our names more? You’re sick. We can’t be friends,” you chem them out before continuing on your way to work. A part of you will always wait for their love, but you are tired of waiting for them to like you.

“You’re a badass. I hope they will see you are the biochemist and bioengineer, not the child actor. You’ve come so far and I’m so proud,” George says once your breathing steadies from the adrenaline.

“Thank you, Georgie,” a small part of you wants to flip them off behind you, just like you would’ve done ten years ago, but you don’t, finally moving forward.

[fatkish]

Hii,could you do a part 2 of Aizawa x suicidal child? Please :)

Maybe they did hurted themselves or just confort

Father Aizawa x Suicidal Reader Pt.2

I’ll Never let you go

You and your dad went to the hospital the next day to get your mental health evaluated. Turns out it’s shit. The doctors suggested that you should be on suicide watch and be put in the psychiatric ward for the mean time until they deemed you safe for the partial hospitalization program. While you were in the psychiatric ward the doctors suggested that you see a therapist and create a safety plan. So you asked if you could bring an instrument or at least a pen and paper to write with so you could write songs and journal.

It took some time but you got settled and your dad visited you every day. As the days went by you were writing and journaling. Things didn’t seem that bright right away but that was fine.

(Play the song)

You light a candle just to see in the dark

You're only running on a fuse, and it's been falling apart again

I'm by your side, I hope at least that helps

And life sucks sometimes, it's feeling more like hell

When your dad would visit he would tell you about your cats at home, the mischief his students got into, etc. sometimes Uncle Hizashi would come with him and you two would pretend to jam out to music he’d play. But even though you smiled and laughed there was still a darkness lurking beneath the surface of your mind.

And all the walls around you are turning to ashes

And the flames surround you when everything crashes

Don't hold your head, 'cause it'll all work out

And don't let go of my hand, I won't let you down

The silence is deafening

Keep fighting, you're trembling

But it's fine, it'll be alright

See the pain in your eyes, but we still survive

As you talked to your therapist about the reasons why you feel like dying the relief of getting it out in the open was momentary before the weight of your feelings would come crashing down. You and your therapist would talk about how your dad found you as you were planning to end it all. You talked about how your dad would feel if you went ahead with it and he was too late. How it would affect him and others and how they would feel if you died.

Just don't forget about me

When you feel like you're drowning

I know it's hard to try

If it gets rough, I'm by your side

As the days passed and you talked to the doctors they eventually saw that you were ready for a partial hospitalization program. This program would have you visit the hospital and have a certain amount of hours you would need to spend in the classes at the hospital. These classes had other people in them and was a sort of rehab program for many different people. The classes were about a bunch of different topics that focused on mental health.

When everything

Is falling apart, put your head on my shoulder

Don't cry, just another bad night

You'll make it out alive

When everything is taking its toll, I'll pull you a little closer

If you slip, I'm falling too

And I'll never let you go (never let you go)

You learned a lot of different things like how different mental disorders affected the brain and its functions. You took art therapy and music therapy classes where you would draw something based on the prompt or you’d share a song and explain how it made you feel. All in all, it was very enlightening and helpful.

If your clouds are grey then so are mine

Your smile faded but still you shine

Got my path again into your soul

It's a place that I call home

I can feel your fingertips, they're burnin' my skin again

But I still take your hand

And we'll run away from this mess

I'll bury my heart in the hole in your chest

Your dad would talk with you about your classes and what you learned. You’d show him your notes and he loved seeing the art you made even if it sucked. He found the techniques for panic attacks very useful and decided to have you teach them to him so he could teach his class.

Just don't forget about me

When you feel like you're drowning

I know it's hard to try

If it gets rough, I'm by your side

You spent more time with your dad and he took more time to focus on you and your mental health. He put time aside to make sure to spend with you. You guys would cuddle on the couch and you’d help him grade papers. Sometimes you’d need his help to understand what someone wrote. Apparently you read the students bad handwriting better than your dad. You decided to write feedback on some of the papers like ‘practice your handwriting on separate paper. Heroes need legible handwriting’ or you’d make small corrections and show them how to fix it for next time. Overall, grading papers with your dad was fun.

When everything

Is falling apart,

put your head on my shoulder

Don't cry, just another bad night

You'll make it out alive

When everything

is taking its toll, I'll pull you a little closer

If you slip, I'm falling too

And I'll never let you go again

You told your dad that you still have bad thoughts but now, every time you did, you’d follow your safety plan and talk to him or Hizashi. You’d find someone who you trust and talk to them. Your dad would let you snuggle up to him with your head on his shoulder as you told him everything you needed to.

You don't have to cry alone

And I'll hold this weight above you

If you slip, I'm falling too

And I'll never let you go

Some of the best things you learned were to just live day by day. You don’t have to worry about tomorrow and you don’t have to be hopeful about tomorrow either, it’s enough to just be curious about what’s next. You decided that you wanted to see your friends become heroes and that you had to see if Bakugou became the next number 1. That was enough for both you and your dad. And he promised that he would always be here for you and he’d never let you go.

[daddyslittlegirlofsammy]

Memories and other stuff

I was watching a 2006/7? show a few weeks or so ago and they shown the girl with her mom on Kids Choice Awards which got me thinking about the first time i watch the award, it was the 2012 edition

i remember being so excited, it was Will Smith that presented the awards if memory and google serves correctly, i was voting non-stoping for the singer's, cartoons and things a like up to the last minute because it was the first time i was watching it and it feel like magic, like all those famous people together in one place? sign me up, i remenber going back and forward with the dubbing and non dubbing because they were dubbing simultaneously with the program that was live, i have such a vivid memory about the show that i remenber that they reprise the awards in the next day in the morning and i made dad wait until the reprise ends to then go to his house which he did, months later i would become a Directioner (hence the One Direction photo up there) but months before becaming a directioner i remenber nickelodeon same channel that hosted the KCA was showing commercials for the Up All Night live tour show (sorry all i could find was an article about it😬)

I didn't really care about it cause all I care about at the time was if Freddie was going to be with Carly from Icarly (yes i did ship them more than Freddie and Sam) I was obsessed with Icarly like that was my show y'know? I think I liked a bit to much (read a lot) cause even my sister who was living in other state at the time knew that I loved Icarly (I got an Icarly backpack from her) but I belive the Icarly phase was short because once I got bitten by the One Direction obsession it only got worset as time went by I didn't mind mom and dad on the other hand... Well let's just say they thought it was a phase(it wasn't) all that while I was 11 years old quite a lot right? by early-mid 2014 I remenber finding out who Demi Lovato was and Oh. My. God i was in love and when I say in love was like in love with her you know the kinda in love that you are not supouse to feel for a famous person? but that's what i felt at the time, with Demi i remenber being really different than with the boys cause while with the boys i found about sex at 11 years old (mom didn't like it haha) and they were all very young, with Demi although she was also pretty young at like 22/23 she had more "problems" so to speak, it wasn't problems but she had more story than the 1D boys at 18, 21 years old, I mean she was at rehab at like 17, 18? for like lots of mental problems, it was with her that I found out what mental health was, what each letter on the LGBTQ+ meant for all I know(she was heavy on the topic hell her "really don't care" video was recorded in a pride parade), I became obsessed with that scene of her kissing Santana in Glee, like that scene messed up with my brain chemistry somehow, i used to say that Demi was the light at the end of the tunnel for me cause when i met her the step-dad I had at the time was heavy on drugs and alcohol (more alcohol than drugs i think, i try not to think about those times tbh) but i remenber seen him stoned out of his head and drunk several times at the time, like Frank from Shameless but worst, it wasn't fun like Frank(Frank was funny, he wasn't), the fights were the worst, god the trauma i have from those fights, because as you can imagine i saw everything but the Demi i got was this one

She was sweet, funny, she was everything you could ask for an a famous singer, she had the voice, the fandom used to said that the "Skyscraper"(one of her songs) was a life saver that like the song save lots of people when it was released, now looking back at it I remenber a lot of fans saying that they were lovatics because Demi was very open about her struggles with mental health (depression, self-harm, bullying and stuff like that) which she was don't get me wrong i personally learn lots of things with her, Demi was the reason I paint my hair it was purple and got white in like 2 to 4 days I think but I liked it was fun, I think I too could fit in that category of "People Demi Lovato save" because she appeared in my life when I needed the most and was feeling very isolated, lonely, not that I didn't had anyone like dad, sister or brother I did and I still do at least two of them but it was different idk how to explain at same time cause like most fights between them (mom and step-dad) was at night/midnight and most of them live far away (dad didn't but...) but then again they would be mostly be found sleeping but then I found out about Doctor Who and what a show it is hum, my doctor and companion was 10th and Martha Jones i wanted to be just like her thought she is black and i'm white as a paper so kinda hard as you can imagine but she was everything I wanted to be, strong, incredible and someone that people obey in the sense of like "oh it's better not to mess with her because otherwise it will be a problem" y'know? I used to pray that the Doctor would appear in my room and take me on adventures (I secretly still do) it never happen which is sad but it happen's to the best of us, Demi made me met Fifth Harmony the girls I got were these

I remenber really liking Camila because her name was the easiest to pronounce and that she had a banana sock that was her lucky charn, in fact that was the first video I remember watching from their takeover it was the "Camila's banana lucky sock's", I used to love their takeovers like that was my favorite thing (i probably still know all the words for some of my favorites for that matter) but I remenber "meeting" them though a Camren fanfic but I didn't know they're names again Camila was the easiest cause is the most brazilian name out of the 5 names but after watching some of they're videos I decided that Normani was going to be my favorite cause she used to dance, she was a gymnast and she could sing like a godness, looking back at it now she and Ally were like Niall and Louis the "background singer" in both bands if I'm being honest, all four of them could sing but the focus either on Harry, Liam, Zayn, Camila or Lauren (more Harry and Camila than Zayn and Lauren tbh) but they were the focus of both groups I suppose it was because they(Harry, Camila and Lauren) were the "face" of respective groups (if that makes sense) but in terms of shipping the pairs where Larry and Camren I unfortunately had ship both of them it's one of the very few things that i'm shame of saying and i'm not shame of anything (which drives mom crazy) but at the time if you didn't ship both "couples" you were exclude from the fandom(from the record I don't think any of them never had anything, I genuinely belive they were just best friends) that's how things were at the time y'know? I did had other ship's that were less popular (like Ziall and Norminah) that i liked way more than Larry and Camren but that's how things were at the time and i miss so, extremely much i don't think there are words to describe how much, if you read until here i love you 💜💜

[coffeeheartaddict2]

Everybody hurts sometimes (17/18)

Second chance

Book: Open Heart (AU)

Characters: Ethan Ramsey, F!MC Casey Valentine, Tobias Carrick, Alan Ramsey, Naveen Banerji

Warnings: mentions of abandonment and unhealthy coping mechanisms

****Trigger warning- this series deals with issues of abandonment and addiction****

Category: fluffy Angst

Rating: Mature

Word count:1944

Summary: Ethan starts his journey to heal at rehab, it is confronting, it is hard, but therapy gives new perspective on things and how he has lived his life.

Disclaimer: Characters belong to Pixelberry

Authors note: For those who have endured this marathon of angst, the end is near. We will get the happy ending I promised you ok, no more Casey sleeping with Tobias, no more break ups, just a road ro recovery with lots of people who love Ethan. The initial ask was about how things would be different if he did not pursue Louise or hear her out. It took awhile to get to that ask but I wanted to show what Ethan nearly lost and that when I conceptualized the series required a lot of groundwork. Thank you for your support and comments and not hopping on a plane to come and kill me.

🙂🙂🙂🙂🙂🙂🙂🙂

Three days after being brought to Mass Kenmore Ethan Jonah Ramsey was discharged and made his way to Willow Hill rehabilitation centre. Everyone was surprised that he took the rehabilitation option but Ethan said to them, he wanted to do this right, I am well aware of what I nearly lost, I know it will be hard and I do not want any temptation around me if there is a tough session.

Naveen drove him to the centre.

“I am so sorry Naveen.”

“I am sorry too, I could see you were not coping but I left it, there were no errors in judgment with patient care, your interactions with staff were the same…”

“Would I have been receptive though?”

“That is exactly what Tobias said on the ambulance ride over.” Naveen sighed. “He is hopeful of reconciliation with you, did you know?”

“I am well aware, yes.” Ethan looked out the window, contemplating everything. They arrive at the centre and Naveen gets him all checked in. Naveen states he will only come when requested and wishes him well in his journey.

His first session was the next day. He gave the abridged version of how he got here. How his mother left him and Alan with no warning when he was eleven, the assumption and anger that he felt when he thought that he was the reason why she left. How he had kept everyone at a distance, Tobias, Estelle, Casey, how Louise out of the blue contacted Alan, her showing up at Edenbrook and the downfall that stemmed from him not talking to her. Ethan felt a little lighter but even he knew that there was much to unpack with the abridged version. He was asked what he hoped to get of of his stay.

“I want to heal, not only myself but to repair the relationships that I have damaged.” The therapist liked that answer very much. He went through the schedule. The therapist asked if Alan or any of his other friends. Ethan was amenable to this.

The therapy schedule was rigorous and confronting and Ethan felt vindicated for choosing rehab. Both Naveen and Alan came to visit after two weeks. Both men were happy to see progress. Ethan stated the biggest thing was coming to grips that he had lied to himself for 25 years. Alan was philosophical, stating he had his reasons to believe what he believed, especially when there was little evidence to believe otherwise. Ethan was apologetic for all the pain that he had caused both of them, especially Alan. Both men were happy that he was confronting the demons of his past. Surprisingly Ethan was not missing alcohol. He brought it up in a group session initially. He was not surprised that he was in the minority and it lead him to speak to his therapist one on one. Him and his therapist discussed why he drank initially and he realized he used it as a way of escaping. Bad day? Have a scotch. Want to ignore something, have a drink. Even the times he drank outside of parties in college was to escape the pain. Even drinking after Casey had gone to sleep was to dull the pain due to feeling like he was unable to say I love you to her.

Ten days after the revelation, Tobias came out for a visit. He was happy to see Ethan doing well. He told Tobias of his breakthrough and how in discovering why he drank, felt like no better person than his mother. Tobias reminded him that unlike his mother, he did not completely wallow, yes you pushed away and just about drunk yourself into oblivion but you hit the bottom and coming out the other side. Also despite everything you have had a good life by societal standards.”

Ethan thought on that, “it just meant I have the means to get help.”

“If you had spoken to her when she first came to Edenbrook, would you have helped her?”

“Maybe, I do not know. When you came to visit me after kissing Casey I think I was coming around albeit slowly, I was given a note, I read it several hours after I came to Mass K, That is when I lost it more.”

“There is a difference between reading it and hearing it for yourself though.”

Ethan nodded, “how is Casey?”

“Busy, boards are fast approaching, so she is studying hard, she is nervous but I think she will do well.” Tobias breathed. “What is the latest with you both?”

“She wants to get back together and work things out, we both wanted me to be a bit more on the journey.”

Tobias was happy to hear this.

“I am sorry too, for all I have done.”

“Medical school was on me too…”

“I know that, but that night I was a mess of emotion, and you come in, saying you heard we split, I was angry…”

“Rightly so Ethan, she gave me no reason to think otherwise but I should not have detoured, or even called her other friends.” Tobias took a deep breath, “you are the brother I wish I had, our friendship ending hurt me too but as you said when we met after you launched Diagnostic Principles, you still felt you could not trust me and if you did not feel that you could then we agreed to go our separate ways. That hurt too, I might add.”

“I was saddened too, I know we bonded over good coffee, what we wanted in our careers but the clincher was you like me were from a broken home and you had nothing to do with one parent. That was something I never had, the circumstances were different for both of us but still the same outcome.”

“Same on my side too, I am just glad that I was able to rebuild some trust eventually, despite what happened with me and Casey.”

Ethan nodded. “Unlike med school though, you knew for sure where things stood and as you said, the incidents occurred over highly emotional times.”

“That is true and when the numbness wore off, she felt horrible, actually apologized for using me as an emotional punching bag which is how she felt with you towards the end.”

“I know I flew off my handle when I saw you talking that day at Kenmore…”

“We can both argue your rational side had gone missing there Ethan and given our history, it was not a huge leap to make.”

“I know but I still knew it was different from medical school,I think because I knew I pushed her away like everybody else…”

Ethan starts to cry and Tobias lets him cry. When he appears more calm, Tobias said

“You did push, I will agree with you but you pushed because you felt unloved and unable to love which I know is not true, even now, on this hell of an emotional journey the fact that you do love her has not changed and I know she still loves you. I know you have for a long time felt unworthy of love but all this time you have gained so much love, Naveen, Casey, myself.

Ethan realized that Tobias was right, there was a lot of love in his life and they were people who chose to love him.

“I am glad we are becoming friends again, Tobias.”

“Me too, Ethan, me too.”

Ethan stayed a month at Willow Hill and went as an outpatient for another two weeks, to help him transition back into the real world. He researched therapists for when he was out and he found one who specialized in what he was going through and was not affiliated with a hospital. When Ethan came out he saw Naveen. Coming back to work was the main topic. Naveen was happy with the progress made and was happy for him to come back part time.

A week after release Ethan met up with Casey for lunch. Casey was happy to see Ethan and was impressed with how far he had come.

“I am sorry for pushing you away so much. It is still disconcerting that I knew at the time that I loved you but not feeling as though I could express it.”

“It was a shock to you Ethan, I know you had your reasons for not talking to her and in a way I felt bad for enabling you in that…”

“You had your reasons, you saw the distance I was putting on people who said I should…” Ethan took a breath. “Thank you for giving her comfort in her final days.”

“She enjoyed hearing about you, especially from Tobias, she had fond memories of you being mischievous and she was happy to hear that you still retained some of that. I never read the note but I knew she was writing it but I know she was proud of the man you had become, even though she did not get the chance to say it in person.”

“She said in her note the reason she went through Alan is because she thought I would not give her the time of day if she reached out to me directly…”

“At least you knew why she left.”

“Yeah, I do not know if I would have spiraled so much if I had heard her out…”

“We never will Ethan.” Said Casey as she reached out to touch his hand. Ethan turned his hand upwards and entwined his fingers amongst hers.

“I feel like a horrible friend,” admitted Casey. “Excluding what happened between myself and Tobias, I never saw you after we split up and I know we said before you went to rehab we would discuss us after but I did not come and see you and I know we emailed…”

“I know it is not the same but I know you are two months out from boards, that is rightly your focus and I had a lot to unpack at rehab, not just us. All I do know is that despite everything I still love you so much and I want to give us another try, if you are willing.”

“Casey smiled, “I still love you too.”

They finish their meal and Ethan walks her back to her apartment. He kisses her gently and Casey returns the kiss. “I really want us to work this time Casey.”

“Me too”

He kisses her again and she goes inside. Both relieved that they had taken the first step to repairing their relationship.

That night, after doing some self reflection and journaling, came to realize just how bittersweet Boston had become. Sure he had built a career and a chosen family but the ghosts of what he nearly lost were all to clear. Even at Edenbrook, the ghosts of the attack were still there and even in the now used wing he saw the ghosts of an unwell Naveen. He still steered clear from alcohol but his did start to wonder, what was next for his career? He went to his desk and saw all the journaling he had done, he thought about writing a memoir of his spiral and recovery. He then emailed his publisher with his thoughts. Happy to have that done he went to bed, he messaged Casey good night. His phone rang. “Good night Ethan, I am looking forward to being in a place where I am staying over with you.”

“Me too Casey, me too. I love you.”

“I love you too Ethan.”

Ethan went to sleep, hopeful of a future he very nearly threw away.

——-

Authors note: a little bittersweet this chapter, but you can taste the happy ending right?????

One more chapter, it will encompass boards and a little after then do a small time jump, just over a year.

For those who have endured, again thank you

Tagging: @jamespotterthefirst @jerzwriter @genevievemd @youlookappropriate @cariantha @alj4890 @crazy-loca-blog @bex-la-get @a-crepusculo @ofmischiefandmedicine @lucy-268 @binny1985 @schnitzelbutterfingers @trappedinfanfiction @potionsprefect @liaromancewriter @socalwriterbee

@choicesficwriterscreations

@openheartfanfics

[derschwarzeengel]

CHARMED (1998) - SEASON 1 || Sentence Starters (pt. 2)

A collection of sentence starters taken from The WB's Charmed, for roleplay purposes. Slightly NSFW (mentions of sex, violence).

07. The Fourth Sister

❝Trust me. One hot night is all you guys need to get back on track.❞

❝So you know... it's not like either one of us has a problem finding guys.❞

❝So we can just consider this a friendly competition.❞

❝Life sucks here.❞

❝Why don't you get some light and air in here?❞

❝Why are you so antagonistic to me?❞

❝She has to take responsibility for her own actions.❞

❝She's not in jail. She's in rehab. She didn't do anything wrong to take responsibility for. She's sick and that's it. It's nothing to be ashamed of.❞

❝Doesn't matter what we pick anyway. We'll probably never get around to watching it.❞

❝There's never a perfectly good reason. As a matter of fact, there's never usually even a reason at all. Good, bad, or otherwise.❞

❝You must gain their trust first. You must let them welcome you into their coven.❞

❝I won't disappoint you. I swear.❞

❝I was thinking about catching a movie. Wanna go?❞

❝You know, actually, in the Mayan culture, the cook was second in the hierarchy only to the medicine man.❞

❝She's probably at her gay and lesbian group right about now.❞

❝You skipped school today and I want to know why.❞

❝She's a strange kid. Very troubled. Into all sorts of wired stuff. Black magic, voodoo. God know what else. No wonder she doesn't have any friends.❞

❝What makes you think she's into black magic?❞

08. The Truth Is Out There... and It Hurts

❝What a pleasure. I can't tell you how long I've waited for this.❞

❝You've become kind of a hobby of mine.❞

❝I just had a premonition. A woman's about to get murdered.❞

❝I'll get you some coffee.❞

❝When are you two gonna stop fighting over him and grow up?❞

❝Can I borrow your laptop? I need to do some surfing on the web, see if I can find anything about the burns on the victim's forehead.❞

❝I just never thought of you as being computer-friendly.❞

❝Are you kidding? Chat rooms saved my life.❞

❝For those who want the truth revealed, opened hearts and secrets unsealed, from now until it's now again, after which the memory ends. Those who now are in this house, will hear the truth from others' mouths.❞

❝I cast a truth spell.❞

❝You cast a truth spell?❞

❝The biggest pooper at the Wicca party has finally used her power for personal gain. About time.❞

❝I think he's a self-serving jerk who must have a very small penis. ❞

❝What a way to come out of the broom closet.❞

❝Are you nuts? We just need to, we need to lock the doors, call in sick, and stay in our own bedrooms until it just goes away.❞

❝How do you feel about women who make the first move?❞

❝Short story: you're in danger. And to keep you out of it, we're gonna have to keep you out of the obvious places, which is why you have to stay here.❞

09. The Witch Is Back

❝Why? Why did you betray me?❞

❝You got what you deserve.❞

❝So you've never loved me? All the passion, all the heat?❞

❝I had to make you trust me. It was the only way to share your powers.❞

❝And so now you have them. So why would you turn me in? You know I'll burn.❞

❝I had to keep my secret.❞

❝I'm taking back the powers you stole from me. 'Outside of time, outside of gain, know only sorrow, know only pain'.❞

❝I can share your power but you can't share mine.❞

❝I was just sitting there, you know, reading the sports, having a cup of Joe and 'bam', this guy comes flying out of nowhere, you know. Weird clothes, bad manners, he nearly fell right on top of me.❞

❝Pull out your secret ghost hunter decoder ring, and let's hear it.❞

❝I don't understand. Am I the only person in this family who's inherited the take-a-chance gene?❞

❝Probably. ‘Cause if I remember my biology correctly, it's attached to the can't-mind-my-own-business gene.❞

❝Quick, have your way with him.❞

❝Looks like a Kodak moment to me.❞

❝I thought that went exceedingly well. Didn't you?❞

❝We may have proven the legend of the locket true and that the little witch is charmed, but now we have a seventeenth century warlock running around. I think he'll stick out.❞

❝Uh, he came out of the locket. And he has strong powers. Stronger than mine, I mean, he did the weirdest thing. One minute he was in front of me, the next he was behind me and then twelve stories down landed right on his feet.❞

❝Yeah, well, he'll have to take a number and get in line behind the other warlocks.❞

❝We've never been up against anyone like him before.❞

❝Great, so now I'm being hunted by a warlock and the San Francisco P.D.❞

❝I can't stand the sight of blood.❞

❝Well, the short answer is we're the ones who gave the witch the locket to have you freed. I suppose you could say we're partners.❞

❝It's called blinking. He must've copied it from another witch. I stripped him of all the powers he copied from me but who knows what other powers he still has?❞

❝If it pleases you to look, look.❞

❝I wasn't looking... much.❞

❝Why the false modesty? I, I don't understand.❞

❝Well, it's a very complex issue these days. I mean, there's political correctness, sexual harassment, um, don't get me started.❞

❝Hmm, what a strange time this is. So open, yet so closed. Where even a warlock feels shame.❞

❝Us? Are you kidding? We're new at this. We can't just make up our own spell... wait, can we?❞

10. Wicca Envy

❝That's what a new wardrobe's all about. Pushing the limit.❞

❝Are you sure this isn't depression buying, you know, post-breakup?❞

❝Does this look like something a depressed woman would wear?❞

❝You know, I rather like this new power.❞

❝Um, just took a little longer to get out of bed this morning than I planned.❞

❝I'm sorry. I'm just trying to get all the facts, that's all.❞

❝So, do you think the one of the employees might have stolen it?❞

❝Okay, I would just like to keep my work world separate from my home world, is that okay?❞

❝So, it must have been quite a night, you know, after the concert.❞

❝Focus and think. The last thing we have to worry about is the legal system. We're up against a warlock now.❞

❝But we can't give up our powers without a fight. It's like giving up who we are, who we've become.❞

❝These powers are gifts. Gifts that were given to us to protect and ultimately to pass on to the next generation.❞

❝It all feels a little anticlimactic, don't you think? Too easy, almost. It feels as if we need a more satisfying ending.❞

11. Feats of Clay

❝Let's just do this and get out of here.❞

❝I told you no one's home, the owner is dead.❞

❝You are being punished for your greed.❞

❝We're just friends, that's all. Do I have lipstick on my teeth?❞

❝Don't take this personally but sometimes you can be a bit judgmental.❞

❝People don't like to dwell on things that end badly.❞

❝So, what, you're playing Cupid at the risk of your own job?❞

❝You were right to leave me.❞

❝Ooh, and the conversation turns.❞

❝No, I'm serious. You were the best thing that ever happened to me and I blew it, I know that.❞

❝Look, I hope you don't take this the wrong way but why are you here? With me now?❞

❝I thought your charm was to boost his confidence, not turn him into Tom Cruise.❞

❝I had more privacy when I lived in New York, a tiny island crawling with eight million people.❞

❝Listen, just because we're not dating anymore, I want you to know I still care about you. So if you're ever in a jam or you ever need anything, just know you can always call me.❞

❝You can't change people; they have to change themselves.❞

❝I know I lied to you about a lot of things. But one thing I never lied to you about was how much I care about you.❞

12. The Wendigo

❝Oh my God, that's a lot of blood.❞

❝If I pass out and I need a transfusion, I'm AB negative. It's very rare, it could be a problem.❞

❝Describe it? Oh, okay, big, scary, strong. Kind of like a cross between a werewolf and Charles Manson.❞

❝I thought I was gonna die last night. I was totally helpless and all I could think about is I was never gonna see you guys again.❞

❝Apparently, it looks like a normal person during the day but then it transforms at night. It survives by feeding on human hearts.❞

❝I've just gone over the coroner's reports from Chicago, New Orleans, now local. It turns out all the victims were AB negative.❞

❝Chosen by blood type? That's a new one.❞

❝And plus they're all killed in threes. The night before, the night after and the night of the full moon.❞

❝Well, if you're right, that means the creature will try again tonight.❞

❝I'm not all together convinced that it's a quote-unquote creature. The blood types, the full moon, the stolen hearts. It feels like ritual. And ritual is human. It could be just one sick mind behind these crimes.❞

❝Maybe we'll have a chance to confirm your theory tonight. You and me, stake out at the park. Interested?❞

❝It might not have been whoever attacked you.❞

❝You're the only one to survive the attacks. Hope you didn't get infected by it.❞ 

❝I took steps. I did what I needed to make myself strong. To make it so no one could ever hurt me like that again.❞

❝What if you're wrong? What if you don't? Then you'll have to... then you'll have to kill me.❞

❝We're gonna kill the thing that did this to you.❞

❝Instinct of the hunt. That's why you're here. That's why you're a cop.❞

❝Does this turn you on or something?❞

❝Look, you are a gorgeous woman, but we're on this job together. Let's just leave it at that.❞

❝He's dead when we find a body, not before.❞

❝Last one. My turn. This time we don't fire until I see slobber on its face.❞

❝Just stay out of my world or I'll kill you.❞

[nancyxthompsons]

The Bonfire

Who: Nancy Thompson, @nicolepeterson​, @rickyxthompson​, @mattswheeler​, @harrison-j-lee​, @bradylevitt​

Location: Harrison’s place and later Nancy’s

Date: March 31st to April 2nd, 2023

Summary: Brady Levitt hosts a bonfire at the beach down from Harrison Lee’s place in honor of the tree that fell on his store, but Ricky’s recent relapse comes to a head.

Notes: This was written on Discord so we could have it ready to post. Italics was written by Jennie while normal is written by Kayla.

Triggers: Drug use, addiction, rehab mention, drinking, pregnancy

Ricky didn't take anything the day of the bonfire. The idea of being high around his mom or Nicole didn't set well with him because he knew they would both be disappointed in him. He didn't even really want to go but he couldn't think of a valid reason not to be. He didn't think that he would already be feeling withdrawals but things weren't good between him and Nicole and he wouldn't be surprised if they were done after this. Not to mention the last place he wanted to be was Harrison's house. He had Huey with him when he parked his car. He wasn't sure if everyone was going to be inside the house or already at the beach so he went to the front door and knocked. When Harrison answered he already felt tense. "Hey, Ricky." the man said and bent down to pet Huey when the pug ran to him. "Come on in. Everyone is at the lake. I just came to grab the portable barbecue." Harrison closed the door once Ricky stepped inside. "Listen, I wanted to tell you. This house is going to be your mom's, so that means it's yours too. You're always welcome here, Ricky." Ricky knew he was trying to be nice but he maintained his passive aggressive silence. "So, help yourself to whatever you need. Maybe you can help me carry some stuff." he said. Ricky moved to the man's mini bar when he disappeared into his shop and took a small bottle of liquor. "Don't mind if I do," he muttered. If he couldn't get high tonight, he was going to drink. "Is my mom here?" Ricky called to Harrison. "Yeah, she's down by the water. I think Matt and a few others are there too." he answered. Ricky walked out the back door opening the bottle he had taken and took a long drink before he walked down the hill towards the lake.

Nicole wasn't sure if this was a good idea as she parked her car and saw the smoke coming down from the water. She wanted to be here to support Matt and the burning of the tree that caused his injury and while Ricky had said he wanted her there, after the weird texts he sent on the night they were supposed to have a date and only vague words after, she wasn't sure if he still wanted her there. Plus, she wasn't sure if she could be there and keep in the fact she was pregnant. Neena was the only one who knew and she was going to tell Ricky the night of their date, but she hadn't had a chance. She took a deep breath as she turned off the car and headed down the path towards the beach; looking for her boyfriend the second she saw people. Was he even there? Maybe he was sick and was at home. The blonde put on a smile as she saw Matt coming towards her and hugged him back as he hugged her. "Hey! Glad you made it. I figured you and Ricky would've came together." Matt said and she just shrugged. "I was finishing up some editing and I told him I'd just meet him here." She lied to him, but she didn't know what else to say. She didn't want anyone knowing things weren't the best. "Is he here yet?" She asked and looked around for him and Matt shrugged. "I don't know. I haven't... Oh, there he is." He said and pointed to him walking down the path. Matt walked over to him ahead of her and she felt her stomach turn. Please not now, she thought to herself as she went up to her boyfriend, the father of her child and smiled. "Hey, man. You ready to have some fun?" Matt asked with a grin on his face while Nicole gave him a small wave. "Hey, Ricky."

Ricky had mixed emotions when he saw that his girlfriend was actually there. He was happy to see her as had been weeks, but surprised she had showed up at all and worried about how this night was going to go and whether or not he could keep it together. He was out of pills and he hadn't been buying any cocaine, but did a few lines with his drug dealer usually when he went to pick them up. He knew it was for the better. He needed to stop before it was too late but something told him he was going to regret not buying more tonight. He smiled and playfully embraced his girlfriend when he saw her. "Hey, you. You made it." he paused kissing her lips and addressed Matt. "Yeah, fun." He muttered taking another long gulp from his open bottle of liquor and then held it in front of Nicole. "Want a drink?" he asked.

"I told you I would." She said and kissed him back, tasting the liquor in his lips and she scrunched her nose for a moment after pulling back. The taste made her stomach flip again and she started begging in her head for it to calm down. "Are you feeling better?" She asked and looked him over while Matt gave him a confused look. "Were you sick?" He asked his friend, trying to think of when Ricky was sick on lately. The question made Nicole curious what was going on and she waited for Ricky to answer. As he held out the bottle, she smelled the alcohol and she scrunched her nose again. "No. I... I'm not..." She wasn't sure how to say she couldn't drink. There would be question and she didn't want that right now. "I'll wait a bit." She said and forced a smile while she shifted on her feet.

Ricky noticed her reaction to their kiss and was going to ask what was wrong when she asked him about when he was 'sick'. His heart jumped a little with panic. "Oh...yeah. I wasn't feeling good for a day or two. But I'm fine now." he answered. He watched her react strangely again when he offered her a drink. "Are you feeling okay?" he questioned knowing she had mentioned she was sick a while ago. "Well, how about we go sit by the fire?" he asked pulling her by her hand to one of the logs that Harrison used as a bench. There was a stack of wood in box near by. "I guess this is the tree?" he said grabbing a piece to throw on the fire. He still didn't want to think about that night, as this was what had seemed to be the start of his problems.

"Oh. Didn't know that." Matt said and it made Nicole curious. "I'm glad you're doing better, but I'll let you lovebirds talk." He said and walked away. Part of Nicole wished that he would stay, but her attention turned to Ricky. "I'm feeling a little nauseous, but nothing to worry about. I must've had something bad to eat earlier." She lied more before nodding. "Sounds good." She smiled and let him lead her to a log. She sat down and watched as he threw a piece of wood in the fire. "I think so." She said and watched him for a moment. "If it's too much for you, we can leave." She knew that night was hard on him too and she wanted to make sure he was okay. "We can go to my place and relax. Or yours." And maybe in private she could tell him he was going to be a father.

"Yeah. You don't remember?" Ricky looked at his friend pretending to be confused, but he was starting to feel anxious that Matt was going to say something that was going to force him to come out with the truth, which was partly why he wanted to go somewhere away from him. "Yeah. We'll catch up with you later, man." he told Matt. He threw the piece of wood into the fire and sat down on the log taking another drink. He looked at his girlfriend. It was becoming increasingly hard to act like he was fine with all of this. "Are you sure?" he questioned when she suggested it was some bad food. It had been a while that she was not feeling well now. "Maybe you should see a doctor or something." he suggested and shrugged. "We could, if you're not feeling well. But maybe we should stay for a bit at least, make our rounds, you know?" He knew that Brady had been excited about this, as had Matt.

"Probably slipped my mind. The pain meds." Matt said, but stared at Ricky for a moment. "Yeah. I'll see you later." He waved and walked away. Nicole took a deep breath and waited a moment before releasing the breath. She worried she wouldn't be able to hold it back for much longer, but maybe if she just talked and got her mind off it, it'd stop. "Yeah. My dad brought by something my brother made and it probably wasn't good." She let out a little laugh and hoped he believed her. "I have an appointment Wednesday as a check up so I'll mention it." Another lie. She had an OBGYN appointment and she wanted him there. But how was she supposed to ask? "Yeah. I'll be fine. I'll get some water from the cooler. It'll pass." She promised him. Her eyes looked around to see if anyone could hear them before she looked at him and played with her hands. "Actually, I..." Her sentence was cut off as Nancy appeared and smiled at them. "Hey, you two. Matt said you both were here. Did you get food? Something to drink? We have soda, water, some drinks. Harrison should be cooking soon, but there's chips and stuff to hold you over if you need something now."

Ricky shot Matt a cold look as he walked away wondering if he was bringing up the pain meds because of their argument about them the other day. He was starting to worry that Matt knew something he wasn't saying. Maybe everybody did, or maybe that was just the drugs messing with his head. The longer he stayed here the more he felt like he needed some, but he tried to just focus on Nicole instead and appreciate their time together. "Oh. Yeah, that'll do it." he smiled softly and nodded. "Okay. Hopefully its nothing." he told her. "I can get you some water." he told her and was going to stand when she started to say something, but Nancy had come over. Ricky had gone back to mostly ignoring his mother since their talk the other day. Only talking enough so that she wouldn't suspect something was going on. He let out a sigh and rolled her eyes when she interrupted them. "Mom." he said in a stern tone. "Can you give us a minute? We're talking."

It was moments like this that really had Nicole confused. She didn't understand how when they were together, he was the Ricky she knew. He was nice and took care of her and cared for her, but when they parted, he avoided her and avoided them getting together again. She felt crazy for wondering what was going on and unsure if she was just reading too much into things, but it wasn't like it was before. She swallowed as he said that what she had was hopefully nothing. Unfortunately, it was something. "Yeah. Hopefully." She repeated and nodded as he offered her water. Nicole watched how he talked to his mother and she raised an eyebrow in shock; looking at Nancy who looked at her and then her son. "It's fine, Ricky." She said and touched his hand. Nancy, however, shook her head and smiled at Nicole. "It's okay. I shouldn't have interrupted." The older woman didn't want to argue in front of the younger one, but she made a mental note to talk to her son later. "Just don't leave without talking to me." She said towards him and she walked away. Nicole looked at her boyfriend and her face was confused. "What was that? What's going on with your mom? You didn't tell me the other day."

Ricky watched their interaction as his mom apologized but sighed when she said she wanted to talk to him later. Or rather, lecture him, probably. This was why he had been avoiding her. He shook his head when Nicole asked what was going on. "It's nothing. I'm sorry for that." he squeezed her hand. He took another drink seeing his bottle was getting low already. "She's uh...she's moving. She's gonna live here, with Harrison." he explained. He was worried she would think it was stupid of him to be as upset about it as he was. He shrugged. "But it's fine. I'm... probably going to find my own place." He knew that asking to live with her was off the table probably. At least right now. Maybe if he could manage to salvage things. He put a hand on her knee. "I'll get you a drink, okay? Maybe a ginger ale. I'll be back."  When he stood, he felt the effects of the alcohol he had been drinking faster than he had realized. He finished off what was in his bottle and opened the cooler, taking a beer, forgetting for a moment about Nicole's drink. Brady suddenly came over placing a hand on his shoulder. "Hey, Tanthor the Brave." the man grinned using Ricky's 'game name'. "You missed our campaign the other day. What happened?" Normally Ricky would be glad to see Brady, but he was just another person who he felt like he had to hide things from. He was his boss, after all. "Oh. I wasn't feeling good." he told the man. "How's your baby?" he asked, hoping to change the subject. "Well, he's with Maggie's brother and dad for a couple hours. We might have to bail early. We've never left him before." He tried to listen as Brady talked about the store reopening but his mind was all over the place. He excused himself and went down by the water to be alone for a bit, and have a cigarette somewhere where the smoke wouldn't bother anyone.

"It didn't seem like nothing." She countered and squeezed hi hands back. "Come on, talk to me." She said, and then he said that his mom was moving in with Harrison and she just watched him. "Is that a bad thing? They seem happy." She said and rubbed his hand before nodding. She wanted to suggest that he could live with her, but would he want to be with her once he found out about the baby? "What's she going to do with the house?" She asked curiously, but he touched her knee and got up to get her something to drink. She sat there for a moment and watched Brady talk with Ricky when Matt came back and sat by her. "So, how was your date?" Matt asked and she creased her eyebrows. "What do you mean? He was sick. He didn't show up." Nicole said and she watched Matt sit up a little. "Oh. That was that night." He said and swallowed. He didn't want to worry Nicole, but he was now curious what was going on with his best friend. "I didn't realize." His eyes moved to Ricky and he stood up. "I'm gonna go talk to him for a second." He said and walked away from Nicole before joining Ricky by the water. "Hey, can I ask you something?"

Ricky hadn't wanted to get into the stuff with his mom and Harrison with Nicole. That wasn't the only thing bothering him right now but just thinking about it made him think it was a bad idea for him to be here. He gulped down half of his beer just wanting something that would make him forget about everything. His mom. His problems with Nicole. The accident with the store and the one that still haunted him  five years later. He lit a cigarette and began to wonder if he could find an excuse to leave long enough to meet his dealer. He knew that was a bad idea but so was this. Matt's voice startled him and he jumped a little before facing him. "What?" he asked.

"Why did you lie to Nicole?" Matt said and looked at Ricky. "You weren't sick the night you guys had a date. You haven't been sick at all." He didn't want to accuse him of anything, but he knew something was going on. He was gone a lot and Matt didn't want to get into the missing pills from his bottle. Not yet. He just wanted to see if his best friend would talk to him. "You borrowed money to go out with her that night. Your mom told me. Where did you go?"

Ricky looked at Matt feeling a sense of panic rising in his chest. But he was also annoyed that he was doing this now. They had already talked about the pills and Ricky had gotten upset. "What? dude.. you really wanna do this now?" He stared at him before taking a drag of his cigarette. "I didn't lie to her. And its none of your business if I did, anyways." He told him growing more worried when he asked about the money. "What does it matter if I did? We didn't end up going, okay? I didn't spend the money." He shook his head. "What has gotten into you lately, man? Asking me all this shit like you're the god damn chief of police or something. What is it you think I'm doing exactly? You think I want to go back to jail?" Ricky questioned. He stepped past him giving him a bit of a shove as he did. "Just leave me alone, Matt. Worry about yourself."

He sighed and clenched his jaw for a moment while Ricky got upset at him. "I'm just curious. I didn't tell her, alright?" He said and nodded his head in disbelief as he talked. "You did lie to her. You weren't sick that night. You weren't even home." He argued back. "It matters because she looks worried, Ricky. She looks scared and you can't even see that." He said and rolled his eyes. "You didn't end up going because you lied to her." He repeated before sighing angrily. "I'm just concerned about you. I know you don't want to end up back in jail, but I also know how you were before and you're acting just like that guy." Matt said and as Ricky shoved him a little, he winced as it moved his body weird and irritated his scar. "Hey." Nancy said as she came over to them. "What's going on with you two? Matt, you okay?" She asked and he nodded. "I'm fine." He said and she looked at her son. "I don't know what's going on, but you need to stop this attitude of yours. I know you're upset about me moving, but you could talk to me about it and not act like we're all against you."

He stared hard at Matt trying his best to keep his cool but the more he talked the more he felt like he was going to explode. He needed to get out of here. It didn't help when Matt said that Nicole was scared. It just made him feel like shit. "I'm not acting like anything, Matt. I'm just pissed off that you and everybody else wont leave me alone. Why do you all do this to me? I'm not a fucking child. I'm just trying to live my life and it keeps getting fucked up." His voice was getting louder and he didn't care who heard him. "None of you fucking cared before, when I was in jail. Why are you suddenly so interested?" He let out a breath when his mom came over and shook his head. "Where's Huey? I'm leaving. I don't need this shit." He started walking away looking around for his dog. He finished his beer and didn't know if he was even in the state to drive right now. He spotted the dog near Harrison and called Huey as he approached. The anger pounding in his head suddenly focused on his moms boyfriend. "Its okay, you can have my dog." He said to him. "You already took my mom from me. You want my girlfriend too while you're at it? I heard you like younger women" Harrison just looked at him, too stunned to speak.

"We're concerned about you. You've been like this since my accident. You are blaming yourself and it wasn't your fault. I'm the one who told you to go. It was my fault, okay?" He said, trying to make his friend feel better in any way. "We did too. We've always cared. I've always cared." He knew he didn't reach out when he was in jail, but Nancy said it was for the best. He had believed her, but now he was unsure if it had done any good at all. "No. You're not going anywhere." Nancy said back and followed him as he went to look for his dog and she stopped as he got to Harrison and threw his anger at him. Nicole came up and mouth dropped a little before she turned and got sick into the garbage can nearby. Matt went to her to see if she was okay and Nancy took a deep breath. "That's enough!" She yelled and she grabbed her son's arm. "You are not going anywhere, do you hear me? You're too out of it and you're going to cause a wreck." She let go of him. "Go up to the house and lay down. There's plenty of rooms and you can find one to calm down in. Go. Now." She said forcefully before she moved to Matt and Nicole. "Are you feeling alright? You can go lay down too, if you need to. Don't feel like you have to go in the same room as him. He needs to calm down." Nancy hated the woman was mixed up in this and hoped it didn't ruin anything for her son by seeing him this way. "I-I'm okay. I just need water." She said and moved towards the coolers. "Mom, I think he's using again." Matt said softly to her and swallowed. "I've found some of my pain pills missing and he... He lied to Nicole about the date. I don't know what he spent the money you gave him on, but he's not..." Nancy smiled and touched his hand. "I know, Matt. I'll worry about it later, okay?"

Ricky turned to his mom as she started yelling and pulled free from her grasp on his arm. He didn't really notice Nicole throwing up with everything else going on but he became vaguely aware of the uncomfortable silence that had fallen over the party after his outburst. He opened his mouth to argue when his mom told him to go inside but he knew she was right. He couldn't drive right now. The last thing he needed was to get into another accident or cause one. Without a word he stormed back up to the house. Brady approached Nancy, concerned about Ricky. "Nance, is everything alright?" he asked. He had wanted this to be a celebration to move on from that night. It had undoubtedly effected him, having to find Matt like that and his store in ruins. It had effected Matt too so he thought this was a positive thing for all of them, but obviously there was more going on with Ricky.

Nancy took a deep breath after everything and turned to Brady as he asked if everything was alright. She knew that he wanted it to be a good night and she hated that her son had acted this way. "It'll be okay. I'm sorry he's acting this way." She apologized to him. "We can continue this. He'll calm down up there and it'll be okay. He just needs some time away." She was unsure if she was saying it to him anymore or to herself. She was more than worried now, but wanted to keep a brave face on for those around her. She knew Matt was worried and she didn't want to worry Nicole more and the last thing she wanted to do was ruin this for Brady. She just wanted her son okay.

Brady was willing to end the party if he had to, if people weren't having a good time because of everything that was going on. He nodded when Nancy reassured him. "Yeah. He'll be fine." he agreed. As time went on things seemed to pick up again with everyone at the party. Meanwhile Ricky had gone into the house. He laid down to rest on the couch for a while trying to ignore his cravings for something stronger than alcohol but he was starting to feel more paranoid about what Matt had asked him and about how this was going to effect Nicole when things were already rocky between them.  He just didn't want to be there anymore. He felt like it was a bad idea for him to come in the first place. Maybe later he would call Nicole and apologize for all of this but he sat up and sent a text to his dealer instead. He had a little bit of money left and he knew once he had a hit this would all disappear for a while. He told them he had no car right now and asked them to pick him up on the road near Harrison's house. He watched the party from the back window while he waited. Nobody would notice he was gone, at least he hoped not. When he got another text saying they were close by he left the house to search for the car, and got in once they slowed down next to him.

Nicole had gotten a water bottle out of the cooler and rinsed her mouth before taking a few drinks. She sat down by the fire and took a deep breath to calm herself down. She felt better now that she had gotten sick, but she hated she had done it in front of everyone. She heard someone by her and looked up to see Matt. "You okay?" He asked and she nodded. "Yeah. I think it's just everything going on. I'll be okay." She smiled at him. Matt nodded and sat down. "Don't mind Ricky. He's not acting like himself." He tried telling her and she sighed. "What's going on with him?" The boy let out a sigh. "I'm not sure, but we'll worry about. It's okay." He assured her. Nancy was watching them talk from afar and she turned to Harrison. "Matt said he thinks Ricky's using again. He found his pills missing." She said and sighed. "I can't go through him like this again, Harrison. I thought he was doing better."

Harrison had felt uneasy since Ricky's outburst, as it had been directed towards him. Up until now he thought that things were fine between him and Ricky  but this made him worry. He didn't want for things to have to end between him and Nancy because her son was unhappy with them being together. He looked at his girlfriend when she spoke. "That would make sense. I didn't realize that he thought those things about me." he said. He put an arm around her trying to comfort her. "If he is, then he needs help. Probably more than you or anyone here can give him." he said. He knew that deep down Ricky was a good kid but he recognized the anger he seemed to have as he had once been in the same place. "Maybe someone should check on him." he looked up at his house. Ricky's car was still there and Huey hadn't left Harrison's side since he had went inside, but he had a strange feeling.

Nancy took a deep breath and looked at him. "Hey, he doesn't, okay? Don't believe him when he's like this. He says a lot of things." She assured him and leaned against him as he comforted her. "I know. I just don't think he's going to listen to me. He'll think I'm turning against him." She looked down and wished this whole thing was easier than it was. "Yeah. I can go up the house." She said as Matt and Nicole appeared. "We can check. I was going to show Nicole where the bathroom was anyways." Matt suggested and Nancy smiled. "If you both are sure. Nicole, how are you feeling?" She asked. "Better. I just want to wash my face." She said with a smile. The two walked up to the house and Matt called out for Ricky after showing Nicole where the bathroom was. However, he couldn't find him and the two searched all over, but he wasn't there. The two came back down and approached Nancy and Harrison. "He's not up there. We looked all over."

Harrison nodded, wanting to believe her.  "Maybe it really bothers him that you're going to be living here." he said. He had extended the invite to Ricky to move in as well, but he didn't know what more he could do to make him feel okay with it. He rubbed her back. "I know. It's wouldn't be easy but if he is, then we need to do something before its too late." Harrison knew what it was like to rely on substances to escape from emotions over certain things. It had been easy to do when he was younger. He nodded when Matt and Nicole offered to check on Ricky. He knew that he was probably the last person he wanted to see and he may not respond favorably to Nancy right now either.  He guided Nancy to sit down near the fire while they waited. When they returned a moment later and said he wasn't there he frowned. "Are you sure?" he asked. "I'll go check. Maybe he just went into the basement or something" He knew his house better than anyone so he went to it and checked every room. He grabbed a flash light and looked around outside in his yard and where everyone had parked thinking that he may have just went outside to smoke or something. He returned back to the beach and let out a sigh when he approached Nancy shaking his head. "He's not there. I checked outside and everything. But his car is still here, and so is Huey. He could have gone into the woods." he said but knew that would mean there was a possibility he could be hurt if he had fallen or something. "Has anyone tried calling him?" he asked. "If he doesn't answer, we might have to start spreading out and looking."

She took a deep breath. "I think it does, but that's just one of the many things going on." Nancy didn't want him to think it was the only thing happening. She knew her son had been upset for a while now and anything could've added to that. She sat at the fire while Nicole and Matt went to look, but the second they came back and said he wasn't there, she stood and looked at them. "What do you mean?" She said and Harrison was quick to go up and look himself. She hoped that he would find him, but she did try calling Ricky while Harrison was gone. By the time the man got back, she had called a few times with no luck and Matt started calling too. "He's not answered any of us. What if he's hurt and fell somewhere?" Nancy said as she started panicking.

He put his hand on Nancy's shoulder knowing she was going to worry. "We'll find him. Don't worry. The neighbors houses aren't that far from here, so he couldn't have gotten far." he tried to assure her but it seemed very odd from him to have left without telling anyone. He wanted to believe there was a logical explanation. Maybe he had just gone out for some fresh air and wasn't far from the house, but if that wasn't the case than this was concerning. "If we don't find him, I guess we'll have to call the police." Harrison said.

"He could get lost or fall into the lake." Nancy said, worried about what had happened to her nephew. Nicole started trying to call Ricky as well as she started getting nervous and Matt took a deep breath. "I can start looking in the woods or something." He suggested and Nicole sighed. "I couldn't get ahold of him." Matt rubbed her arm. "Let me try again." He said while Nancy started walking around, calling out her son's name. Matt dialed Ricky again and let it ring.

Ricky wasn't sure how long ago it was that he had left the party. He had somehow found himself at a "better" party, or what he would consider better at the time. At least nobody there was angry or worried about him. He was at one of the night clubs down town, where he and his former dealer use to hang out before Ricky went to jail. It was a good way for him to score the drugs he so desperately needed right now. He didn't really care where he had to go as long as he got them. He also knew that going home tonight was out of the question. He'd sooner sleep on a park bench than go home to face his family when he was like this. He was considerably out of it when his phone went off and could barely hear it from all the noise. He had stepped outside to smoke and saw the missed calls from Nicole, his mom, and Matt. All people he just wanted to avoid right now. He definitely wasn't going to talk to them on the phone in the state he was in. He sent a text to Matt after letting his call go to voicemail. "Tell my mom to stop freaking out I just need some time alone. I'm hanging out with my real friends. I'm fine."  after he hit send, he turned it on silent and went back inside.

Matt was just about to tell Nancy that Ricky didn't answer once again, but his phone dinged and he looked to see a text from him. He didn't even respond back, knowing this wasn't Ricky who was talking to him, and he went over to Nancy. "He's okay." He said and she turned to look at him with panic in her eyes. "You talked to him?" She asked and Matt shook his head. "He texted me. He said he's hanging out with some friends. He didn't tell me where or anything, but he's okay." Well, as okay as he was going to be right now. Relief went over Nancy and she sat down by the fire. "Thanks, Matt." She said and just put her head in her hands for a moment.

Harrison let out a sigh when Matt told then he got a text from Ricky. He knew what it probably meant when Matt said he was with "friends" and he was sure Nancy did too. He put her hand on her back. "At least we know he's okay. He'll come home I'm sure." he tried to assure her. "Why don't you go back to your place and wait for him? I'll come over once the party dies down." He said knowing it had been an emotional night and she would probably rather be home.

Nancy took a deep breath and nodded. "Okay." She said and stood up before looking at Matt. "You want to come with?" She asked him, but he shook his head. "I'll make sure Nicole gets home okay since she's not feeling well. Maybe talk to her about what's going on." He suggested and she smiled at him. "Alright. I can pick you up later if you need." Nancy offered before kissing Harrison goodbye and heading home to Maple Hills to wait for Ricky to come home.

** TIME JUMP **

It was starting to get light out when Ricky woke up on some musky smelling mattress, but he had no idea what time or even what day it was. His stomach felt sick. His head felt groggy and yet awake at the same time. When he sat up the dizziness overcame him and he had to run to the bathroom and throw up. It took him a few minutes to realize that he was in a hotel. One of the cheap ones that had a bad reputation down town. There was evidence that his friends had been here, but no one else was in the room. There were empty liquor bottles, pills and powder all over the table. He couldn't seem to get his heart to calm down but his body felt like it needed more sleep. He glanced at his phone trying to focus. He had so many missed calls and texts from his mom, his sister, and Matt. Evidently he had been here for a day and it was 6am but he wasn't sure if this was accurate. He knew he had no car, but he was going to have to make his way home. If he didn't they were going to call the cops and have him put in jail again. That was exactly what they wanted, he reasoned. To lock him up again. He had screwed up big time this time, he was too much for them to handle. He saw some money next to the drugs on the table and took some of it. Just enough to get home. He was going to have to go there to pack, then he was going to have to get out of town before they locked him up again. He managed to get an uber ride. When the car arrived, the driver made him feel nervous, although he didn't really talk at all. His head kept darting around looking out the windows as he fidgeted and muttered to himself until he finally started to recognize his neighborhood. He paid the driver and went to his front door. He didn't even consider what he as going to do if someone was home. His hand felt around in the darkness and turned on the light switch before he went into the kitchen.

Nancy thought she was doing feeling like this. She thought she was done worrying about where her son was and what he was doing out there. She thought they were done with the drugs and Ricky was starting a new, better path. And yet, here they were again. She had barely slept and didn't go to the bar. She stayed by the phone in case there was a call and stayed at her house. She knew Matt had gone out looking for her son, but there was no such luck. Even Renee called around, but there was no word. She knew her son would come home eventually, she just didn't know when or in what state. She had gotten up when the sun did and left Harrison sleeping in the bed. She walked down the stairs and started making a pot of coffee when the light came on and she turned to see Ricky standing there. "Ricky." She said softly as she crossed the kitchen, pulling him into a hug for a moment before she moved back and looked at him. "Where the hell have you been? We've been looking for you." She eyed him up and down. "You look like shit. Still high or did you sleep it off?"

Ricky was not prepared to face his mom right now. His heart jumped when she appeared but it didn't come down and felt like it was going to fly out of his chest. He stared at her as she came to him and hugged him. "I was....I.." he stammered when she asked where he was. "I just needed to be alone for a while." he wasn't angry like he was when he left the party. He was just scared and confused more than anything. He frowned at her question not really sure the answer himself. He did feel like he was coming off of whatever he had taken but it was going to be a long time before it wore off. He was surprised he was still alive with how much he did. "What are you talking about? I'm not...I didn't do anything. I'm just tired, Mom." his hands were shaking as he reached for the back of a chair to steady himself. He sat down and then stood up again quickly, feeling uncomfortable being here. He took a deep breath. "Mom, I'm...I think I'm going to have to go away for a while. Or for good, I don't know. Like maybe I'll find a place out of the city or something. My own place.'" he tried to explain though his thoughts weren't making much sense even to him.

"But you weren't alone, were you?" She said and looked at him, but could never meet his eyes. She knew her worrying was for something and here it was. He was lying to her again. He was clearly on something and he could barely speak or keep straight thoughts. "Don't you lie to me." She said quietly, but sternly. "You took Matt's pills, you spent money that was supposed to be a date for you and Nicole on whatever it is you bought, and look at you now. You can't even stand straight, Ricky." She swallowed before shaking her head. "You're right. You are going to have to go away for a while, but don't you think it's to some apartment in whatever city to get high again." She grabbed the brochure off the counter and pressed it hard against his chest. It was for the rehab clinic in town. "You're going here."

Ricky couldn't make eye contact with her right now. This was probably the worst thing that could be happening right now. He had been so scared in the beginning that he was going to get caught. He kept telling himself if he only took a little bit, it would be fine. Nobody would notice. Now he was beyond the point of being able to hide it. "I was." he responded and shook his head when she started on her accusations. "No. No. I did not take Matt's pills, Mom." his voice was angry but he was trembling with panic. "Matt miscounted them and he blamed it on me. He's trying to get me in trouble. You're all trying to get me in trouble.." he muttered.  He ran his hand through his hair nervously. "I'll give you the money back. I needed it, but not for what you think." he went on. He finally looked at her growing more confused when she said he was going away and shoved something at him. He couldn't comprehend what the brochure was for. He shook his head quickly and threw the brochure down. "No! You...you're just trying to get rid of me. You just wanna send me away again, is that it? You want me locked up." tears welled in his eyes and he took a breath letting out a sob. "You just wanna send me away." he repeated burying his head in his hands.

She sighed as he talked, but she stayed calm. Yelling was not the way to do this. He was going to get upset, she knew that, but she needed to be firm and gentle while getting him to understand this was what he needed to do. "Matt didn't miscount, honey. We both know that. No one is getting you into trouble. You're not in trouble." Nancy's voice was soft and she looked at him. "What did you need it for?" She asked, trying to see if her son would tell her that, but she knew exactly what it was for. She watched as he looked at the brochure and then threw it down. "Ricky, if I was trying to send you away, I'd let the cops know what you did and get you arrested again. But that's what's going to happen if you don't go. Or worse, you could die." She had tears in her own eyes now and she reached out to touch his arm. "This isn't far away and I'll visit you every day that I can. This isn't going to be like it was when you were in jail. You just need to do this, baby. You need to get help."

Ricky shrugged when she asked what the money was for. "I just did. I just needed it. I don't have any money right now." he told her. Maybe that had been his intention, to ask for money so that he could patch things up with Nicole but that was ruined now. He didn't expect her to want to be with him now. If she saw him in the state he was in she probably wouldn't want anything to do with him, and he couldn't blame her. He tried to listen as she assured him that he wasn't going to jail. He continued to sob and shake his head unable to look at her. "No...no, I don't want to go away." he said. Her final words registered somehow in the part of his mind that was coming down from the high. The sober version of himself that had become lost for a while now. He nodded slowly. "I do. I need help." he took a breath and looked up at her, tears still falling down his face. "I don't wanna be like this anymore. I'm sorry."

"Tell me what it was for." She asked softly. She knew what it was for. She knew more than well, but she wanted him to say it. She wanted him to admit what was going on because she knew that was going to be the first part of this. It broke her heart as he sobbed and she wanted to hold him. She just needed him to realize this was for the best. "You won't be. You'll be in East Haven, okay? You'll have us all there supporting you." She said and watched him before he nodded. Relief filled her as he finally said he needed help. She wrapped him into a hug and held him close to her. "It's okay, honey. It'll be okay." She said and kissed his head softly. "We'll get through this."

Ricky knew that she knew the truth. She may not have known everything, but the way he had acted at the party the other night made it obvious. He didn't want to have to say it to her. He rubbed his hair and his face nervously, unable to look at her. "I...I've been... taking Xynax." he said in small voice. "I thought I needed it because I was depressed. And it just led to other things. Adderall, and coke." he let out a shaky breath feeling the remorse fall over him as he buried his head and cried. He found it hard right now to believe that anyone; Matt, Renee, Nicole, would offer their support. He didn't deserve it after the way he had lied to them and treated them. Especially Nicole. He broke down when she put her arms around him, sobbing and shaking for a while. When he caught his breath he was able to speak. "When...when do I have to go?" he asked her. He hated this. He hated that it had come down to this. He wiped his face on his sleeve and looked at his mom. "Will you tell Nicole that I'm sorry? If you see her again. I doubt that I will."

She felt weak as he told her what he was taken. She hated that he was feeling depressed and didn't talk to her. She hated hearing it all. It took all her strength to stay standing. She needed to be strong for him. She held him close as he sobbed into her and she was glad that he saw he needed help. She looked into his eyes and touched his cheek, wiping some of his tears away. "We can go later, if you want. Let you shower, I can fix some breakfast, you can pack, maybe sleep. But you have to stay here, okay? I'll drive you myself." She said before taking a deep breath. "I'll tell her, but honey, that girl loves you. She's asked every day if you were home yet. You're going to be seeing her again, okay? And you can make amends then." She said and rubbed his shoulders. "Why don't you give me your phone and your keys and you go shower. I'll get breakfast ready."

Ricky looked at her with worried eyes. "Today?" he wasn't expecting it to be so soon. But he knew that if they put it off he might not go. He was scared, and not just because of the drugs. Tomorrow he would wake up in a new place full of strangers. He was scared that even if he went through with this it wasn't going to fix him. Jail hadn't even fixed him. It put a lump in his throat when she said that Nicole loved him. He didn't know how she possibly could after what he had put her through. "Okay.. Tell Matt I'm sorry, too." He might see Matt before he left, but he wanted to tell her just in case. He reached for his mom's hand as tears filled his eyes again. "And I'm sorry to you, Mom. I really am." he let out a breath. "I really screwed up this time." he said and shook his head. "I'm not hungry right now. But I'll shower, and sleep for a while." It might be the last time he had the opportunity to do these things in the peace of his own home for a while. He handed her his keys and his phone.

She sighed and nodded. "I think the sooner, the better." She said and touched his cheek. Nancy knew it'd be better for him to go soon, but granted him some time to rest after everything he just went through. "I'll tell him too." She promised him. Her heart broke as he took her hand and said his apologies to her as he cried. Tears built up in her eyes and she started crying as well. "It's  okay. I know you've been through a lot." She said and wiped his tears. "You're going to get better. I promise." She kissed his cheek. "Okay. If you change your mind, let me know." She said and took his phone and keys. "I love you, Ricky."

[bewitchingfanfiction]

Naegshima (2020)

It was strange being in a regular house with an actual husband.

Ever since she was a teenager, Enoshima had spent most of her days in a rehab, where they worked every day to fix her, to stop this need for despair she had.

But it wasn't the rehab that fixed her, it was Naegi. Out of all of their classmates, he was the only one who didn't give up on her.

Ikusaba didn't give up on her either, but she didn't push for Enoshima to change the way Naegi did.

Now, thanks to Naegi, Enoshima was twenty-eight years old and proudly claimed the title 'Ultimate Analyst' and was living in a house decorated for Christmas while cradling a baby in her arms.

It was strange, a few years ago Enoshima would've probably tried to kill the child, after all what could cause more despair than that? 

But now, she can't imagine anything happening to the beautiful baby girl she was holding.

The despairing thoughts still came up occasionally, the idea of throwing herself into traffic, burning herself in the fireplace, and plenty of other destructive things, but after years of therapy she's learned ways to control it and not fall into despair.

Despite all the years that had passed, the world was still rebuilding itself after all she had done, but she never went to prison. Instead she was forced to change, and at first it had been so despairing that it brought Enoshima a lot of joy. But as the years passed, as she continued talking to the doctors about why her interest in despair started, she found that feeling despair wasn't as fun anymore.

But being with Naegi was a blast, and she couldn't believe he genuinely wanted to go out with her.

She had been responsible for so much, but he forgave her for all of it regardless.

There was nothing she could ever say or do to repay his gratitude, but Naegi always told her that her just being happy and healthy was enough. 

Her other classmates weren't as forgiving, she couldn't blame them. She had murdered most of her class and most of the world after all, they had no reason to forgive her crimes, but at the very least...they didn't hate her.

They were a work in progress, she could accept that for now.

"Hey, check it out." Naegi stepped into the living room, arms holding a big red bag filled with presents. He beamed at her. "They're from Kirigiri and everyone else!"

"That was nice of them, did they get anything for her?" Enoshima gestured to the baby.

Naegi nodded. "Yep, a bunch of things actually. And...they all got you a gift too, just one, but it's something right?" He took the one gift out of the bag with a smile.

Enoshima's eyes widened in disbelief. "They...got me something?"

"I told you, it might take a long time, but they're going to warm up to you, they see that you've changed. Even Togami signed the little tag." Naegi gestured to the tag on the gift, where everyone's names were written.

Hesitantly, Enoshima stood up from the couch and gently laid the baby down in the bassinet before taking the gift from Naegi. "...What do I do with it?"

Naegi laughed. "You open it, silly. Come on." He insisted.

Unwrapping the gift, Enoshima's eyes widened at the photo.

It was one of their class photos, but this time it didn't cover her face. They were all there, her, Ikusaba, Naegi, and everyone else. A time before they were enemies, a time when they were all alive.

Tears bubbled in Enoshima's eyes and she began to panic. "Oh no, I-I think I'm feeling despair what do I-"

"Shh...Junko...does that despair feel good?" Naegi asked her softly, taking her in his arms.

Enoshima felt tears run down her cheeks as she rammed her head into his chest. "No...it feels bad...I feel terrible...but at the same time...I'm happy, because they gave me such a wonderful gift." She sniffed.

"There's nothing wrong with feeling that way. Now come on, let's say goodnight to our baby girl and go to bed, tomorrow's Christmas after all." Naegi kissed her softly on the lips before going over to their baby and kissing her gently on the forehead. Enoshima did the same and squeezed Naegi's arm when she felt an urge to harm the baby. It was an old habit, but it helped keep her grounded.

They went to bed, feeling nothing but warmth in their hearts.

The next morning, Enoshima held the baby in her arms as Naegi grabbed a gift. He opened it and beamed. "Look, a raddle!" He held it up for the baby to see. She squealed in delight and reached for it with her little hands.

Enoshima giggled softly at the baby's expression, it was so, so painfully cute, Enoshima felt something in her chest. A feeling she wasn't use to.

But...it wasn't a bad feeling, not at all.

[laurenceslife]

Chapter 64

              Laurence graduated, and Gina's filming came to an end already by July. On the other hand, Laurence worked hard as a producer too, beside his leading role in the series. He knew that he couldn't do too much about raising Montana anymore who was in rehab and would be eighteen years old already two months later, so he buried himself in work.

              Already before September, Gina played in a further series' episode, in Georgia, but she hardly played in it; and in September, Laurence was nominated for an Emmy award for his performance in Thurgood's movie version, what, for a little bit of time, effaced that on the 7th, Montana turned eighteen.

- I constantly undertake tiny parts to be able to raise Delilah alone too, because you constantly work - his wife said furiously while going to visit Montana.

- It's not true. I’m also raising Delilah - the man's voice was also furious - If you had to raise her alone, you couldn't even work – he finished when they had arrived at the girl’s door.

- Mom also divorced you 'cause you hardly deal with us! - Montana opened the door furiously when she heard it - I didn't even get a birthday present from you! - she shouted.

It came into her father’s head then. He even forgot the gift. Her birthday only aroused bad thoughts inside him, that she became major.

- Sorry, I’m very busy nowadays – he said brokenly.

- You’re always very busy! – the girl slammed the door before they could have gone in.

Laurence’s phone rang.

It was Langston.

- So how’s my sister after she spent her eighteenth birthday in rehab? – he asked.

- Not too well… And why do you visit her so rarely? – the man’s voice was still broken.

- What do you think? She doesn’t deserve more – his son said in a comforting voice – What did she do again?

- Now she didn’t do anything – his father said, relieved because at least he agreed with him – At least now she’s only in a tantrum because I’m having much work – he looked at Gina furiously.

The woman angrily looked back at him.

Her husband went out of the building.

- Actually I’m fed up with Montana. I’m working so much, not to see what she’s doing again – he continued there furiously – She’s already an adult, and she’s beyond control – he continued desperately.

Langston was appalled. He had never heard Laurence like this.

His father was even considering if he should tell him why he was working so much that she slipped through his fingers.

- And how’s Grandpa? – the boy asked like he would have guessed his thoughts.

- He’s not worse – the man said cheerlessly.

- That’s good. Well, I’m going. Bye – Langston said confusedly.

              At home, Laurence was buried in memorizing his lines.

After finishing tomorrow’s episode, he walked with his dogs and Delilah, and with the little girl, went into a shopping center to look around, and then called Mike.

He had a good time talking with him too, just it was aggravating him that during it, Delilah constantly wanted to get free from his hand. Nowadays, he would rather have lived with his sons than with his daughters by choice. The little girl also aggravated him, she constantly kept asking him and wanted to know everything.

- Let’s go, just tell me where you wanna go! – he said to her angrily after finishing the conversation. Since she had been two-year-old, she was much more beyond control, too. Usually, he was tolerant towards her but this day Gina and Montana flustered him, too.

- I wanna buy Montana a present! – Delilah’s answer reminded him that he still hadn’t bought her anything.

Maybe if he would buy her an even more expensive thing than usual, he succeeded in placating her because he was dealing with her only a little bit nowadays – her father thought – Anyway, the reason why she was happy was always because she got the best of everything because they were rich. He could have already realized by this how problematic she was. Or maybe he blew something – it came into his head – Or Hajna. But it didn’t matter who did it, it wasn’t possible to raise her too much, on the other hand, before Delilah, he shouldn’t show that example in the future too, that he made her happy only with money. From then, he should spend more time with Montana. He would buy her a present, and let her sister choose something for her, too, but from then, he shouldn’t deal so much with his producer-work.

- Which shop to go in? – he asked the little girl.

As an answer, Delilah pulled him towards the jewelry.

- You wanna buy an expensive present, too? – the man laughed while they set off, and then it came into his head that maybe they started to spoil her too, because she became so material.

- I like jewels – Delilah smiled – I want one, too!

- What about playing more from now on?  - Laurence tried to put the mistake right.

- So will you buy a toy? – the little girl wondered.

- No. From now on, we will play together more - her father said sadly because this came into her head.

- Why? - Delilah wondered.

- 'Cause Dad's gonna work less from now - he picked up his daughter.

- Why?

- So we can play more – the man smiled.- Put me down, I’ll choose a present for Montana! – the little girl said when they arrived at the jewelry.

Laurence obeyed but still hadn’t let go of her hand.

- I want that one! – the little girl pulled him to a huge, pink necklace which she pointed at.

- Such a huge, expensive present from a two-year-old? – her father laughed.

- Montana also wears pink.

- Yeah, and black.

- Then black’s necessary, too? – Delilah wondered.

- Choose her some pink, and I’ll choose something black but don’t choose such a huge thing!

- OK! – the little girl said cheerfully, looked around, and pulled the man up to a pink bracelet.

              They bought the bracelet and black earrings, and went home with the dogs.

Laurence hardly could handle the three dogs and a two-year-old Delilah; he already regretted taking all of them along, but when he set off, he wasn’t thinking.

- You could have spoken that you guys were going out – Gina came out of their room.

- You could have seen it; you were here in the living room – his husband answered blithely, and kissed her – Sorry, next time, I’m gonna speak about where I’m going! – he continued cheerfully – And we talked it over with Delilah that from now, I would work less.

His wife didn’t understand what happened to the man suddenly but she didn’t even care. She kissed him, too, and they began kissing. She already missed him.

              Laurence kept his promise, dealt less with his producer work, and dealt more with his family, and his new movie’s filming only lasted for two days for him.

- You came home at last! You started to deal with us more too late – Gina received him furiously, as soon as he had arrived home from the filming.

- What happened? Why didn’t you call me? – the man asked furiously and in alarm.

- What do you think?! You can be happy that I didn’t wanna spoil your filming!

The man called Montana.

- What did you do again?! – he asked furiously, and inside upset.

- I didn't do anything! A stupid goose reported me for prostitution, in spite of the fact that I’m innocent!

- Why would you have been reported innocently? - his father asked strictly.

- Why would I have become a prostitute while I have everything?! - his daughter continued indignantly.

Maybe she told the truth - Laurence thought - Maybe she had a quarrel with someone again, and she was reported out of revenge. But after her police case so far, he already could imagine everything about her.

- It sounds sincere but maybe you just inherited some actor's talent. The court will decide if you tell the truth - he said coldly, then dropped the call.

His wife was still watching TV in the living room.

- How did you get to know what happened? - the man asked her.

- She called you to complain but couldn’t reach you so called me - the woman answered furiously - Now let me watch TV.

The man turned off the TV.

- It seems Montana told the truth, and she was reported innocently - he said furiously, too - In spite of that, I told her that it would come out by the court. Are you still angry with me? – he asked firmly.

- No, just let me watch my series on – Gina smiled.

- I was already missing you – Laurence sat down next to her, embraced her, and gave a kiss to her face.

- I was missing you too – the woman sighed tensely.

[hangovercurse]

I’d Drop it All for You

Pictures of you and Pete are spread all over the internet, causing a whirlwind of hate to enter your social media.

Request: “Pete content please! anything !!! smut fluff whatever”

Pete x Reader

Warnings: Cursing, depictions of depression and anxiety

A/N: *Insert normal spiel about respecting A.G. and only using her for plot purposes. No harm intended.* Also I wrote most of this after a meeting with my therapist so... enjoy :) (He’s so cute in this gif I wanna kiss his face)

Word Count: 1820

You weren’t one of those people who loved being the center of attention. You knew that being in the spotlight also meant constantly living under a microscope, and you decided a long time ago that that was not for you.

But you were lucky enough to work as an assistant art director at just 24. You were hoping that The King of Staten Island, your newest project, would help get your name out into the professional world. But that wasn’t the only thing to come out of the film.

It happened unexpectedly, you showed up on set the first day, ready to do whatever the art director required of you. You couldn’t help but be slightly distracted by the lead actor and writer, Pete Davidson. He was so kind and funny, and he wasn’t uptight like everyone else.

After a few hours of filming, he came up to you, introducing himself. He said he “wanted to get to know everyone working on the project,” but you didn’t see him introducing himself to anyone else. You two started talking during breaks. Then he started sitting with you at lunch. Then he was asking for your number.

In a matter of weeks he was asking you out to dinner, taking you to a cozy restaurant that you absolutely adored. He walked you home, his hand grazing yours until you intertwined your fingers.

It was all very romantic, so when Pete asked if he could take you on another, you obviously said yes. Flash forward two weeks and he finally got the courage to ask you to be his girlfriend, even though you were both exclusively seeing each other already.

After filming ended 2 months later, you were still working on the film in post, which meant you had an excuse to stay  in Staten Island with Pete. After about 2 weeks in post, you spent more nights in his bed than your hotel’s.

Nearly 6 months later and you were happier than ever. You were splitting your time between your small apartment in the Bronx and Pete’s basement apartment. Pete introduced you to most of his friends, and you introduced him to yours.

But other than your small circles of friends, you kept your relationship fairly quiet. Pete doesn’t have social media and yours is strictly professional, so there are no pictures of you two together. You weren’t hiding each other, you loved each other, you just had no reason to tell tabloids. And you were perfectly happy with that.

Which made it so much worse when various news sites had pictures of you two holding hands. Had they been anyone else you would’ve thought they were cute, walking along the South Beach oceanside at night.

Pete had been in the SNL studio all day when the pictures were released, while you were in his apartment, trying your best to focus on the photoset in front of you. The production team wanted the film to scream “teen romance,” which basically entails subtle pink undertones and a higher saturation. But you couldn’t quite get the coloring right, probably because you weren’t actually focusing on the colors.

You sighed, looking at the time and realizing that Pete won’t be back until sometime after 2am, which was a whole 5 hours away. You let out a huff, pushing away from the desk and making your way to Pete’s closet and searching for one of his hoodies. They always smelled like him (and weed), so it was a comfort to you.

You crashed onto the bed, finding the phone that you had tossed there a few hours earlier. Turning it on you were surprised by the number of notifications you were getting. You knew the photos had surfaced but you weren’t expecting this.

Your Instagram was blowing up with new follows, likes, and comments. It was kind of exciting at first until you started reading some of the comments.

I mean, we knew he would downgrade from Ari, but this is like… really far down.

This girl really thinks she’s special just bc Pete’s dating her. Hun he could do so much better

Who is she?!? Literally no one.

Someone needs to show her how to dress

That hairstyle is not it honey

Pete Davidson is dating YOU??? He could do sooo much better

Ari was prettier sorry not sorry

The entire comment section on your last post, a picture of you on the set of your latest film, was pretty much the same. There were some nice comments, but a lot of mean ones.

And you couldn’t help it, you couldn’t stop looking at them. It felt so cliché, but it was like all of your deepest insecurities about being with Pete were thrown out on the table.

You knew that Pete had a fairly large following, and that a lot of people had really strong feelings about him. You had expected that if and when your relationship went public you would have a lot of people watching you, scrutinizing you. But you didn’t care because Pete was worth it.

Now you weren’t so sure. It wasn’t that you couldn’t handle people talking bad about you, because you definitely could, even if it hurt. You just weren’t expecting the amount of people comparing you to Ariana or saying that Pete could do so much better.

And it only bothered you so much because you felt it too. Your inner demons loved to remind you that Pete had dated Ariana fucking Grande and now he’s dating you. Anyone could see an obvious downgrade.

You turned your phone off and threw it on the opposite side of the bed, trying to think positive thoughts. “I am in control of my own thoughts and emotions. I am catching my negative thoughts and fixing them.” You murmured your therapist’s mantra to yourself, but it was too late. The thoughts had already taken hold of your mind.

Your eyes started to water as you could feel the heavy feeling in your chest set in. You pulled the hood over your head, pulling the straps to hide as much of your face as possible, and pulling your knees to your chest. You laid like that for a while, tears falling as doubts ran through your head. Once you had effectively exhausted your thoughts, you went numb. Your tears had stopped, but you couldn’t move. This wasn’t an unfamiliar feeling, but it sure wasn’t pleasurable.

There was a sort of buzzing throughout your body, almost like the feeling when your foot falls asleep, but everywhere. It seemed to block out your sound, as you didn’t hear the basement door open. You only knew that Pete was home when he sat beside you on the bed, pulling the hood off your face.

“There’s my beautiful girl.” He smiled at you. You tried your best to fake one back, but you honestly couldn’t find the energy. Pete pulled you so you were sitting up, back pressed against his front. His arms wrapped around your middle as he pressed a kiss to your temple. “What’s goin on?” He murmured against your skin.

“Did you see them?” You asked, your voice quiet and hoarse.

Pete let out a sigh, “Yeah, I saw them.” He paused, his hold on you getting tighter, like he was making sure you couldn’t leave. “I’m sorry baby. I know you didn’t want it to be a whole big thing.”

You turned your head to face him, “It’s not that. I really don’t mind that people know. We weren’t trying to hide anything.”

He smiled, “Yeah, I know I just- it was nice having this to ourselves.”

He wanted to hide you. He’s embarrassed of you.

Your inner dialogue never seemed to shut up.

You turned away from Pete, trying to hide the tears forming in your eyes. “Yeah.” You whispered.

“What’s wrong, you’re still upset.” He rocked you in his arms, kissing the top of your head. You shrugged in response, not trusting yourself to talk. “You can talk to me, y’know.”

You nodded, leaning further into Pete’s chest. “People found my Instagram.” You murmured, looking down and tracing the arrow tattoo on his hand.

“Whaddya mean? I thought it was public?” He furrowed his eyebrows.

You sighed, wishing you hadn’t said anything. “Yeah, it is. But after all the articles people started following me and shit.”

“I would ask how that’s a problem but I deleted my Instagram so I can’t really talk.” You could tell he was trying to make you feel better, but you couldn’t seem to get out of your haze.

You shook your head, deciding to drop the matter. “It’s not, I’m just being overdramatic.” You sighed, putting on a fake smile and facing him fully. “Wanna watch a movie?” You asked, trying to change the topic.

He gave you the I-know-you’re-bullshitting-me look, which made you look down. “Something’s bothering you, Y/N. And you’re trying to pretend it doesn’t because you think your feelings aren’t valid, but they are.” He tilted his head, trying to meet your eyes that were still trained on the bedsheets below you.

“Where’d you learn that one?” You chuckled half-heartedly.

“Rehab part 2” he smiled, hand coming to your jaw to tilt your head up. “C’mon, talk to me. I wanna help.”

You huffed, moving towards the opposite side of the bed where your phone laid. You opened it, finding your Instagram, and showing him the comments. His eyebrows furrowed as he scrolled through the comments. When he decided he’d had enough he put your phone down, grabbing your waist and lifting you onto his lap so you were essentially straddling him.

He leaned his forehead against your own, your noses touching. “That’s all bullshit, you know that, right?”

You looked down, biting your lip. “Y/N you’re the most amazing, most beautiful woman I’ve ever met, okay? I’m in love with you, not anyone else.” Pete’s eyes were searching yours, trying to figure out what was going on in your head.

“I know.” You sighed, “It’s just hard to be with you and not compare myself to her. And then all these people started to do it too, and they kept saying that you could do so much better and you can. So, I dunno I guess I just kind of spiraled.”

Pete captured your lips in a long, passionate kiss. “Y/N. There is literally no better than you. I can’t do better because you are the best woman I have ever loved. “

You pulled Pete in for another kiss. “Thank you, Pete. I love you.”

“I love you too. If this happens again, I want you to call me. I don’t care what I’m doing, I’d drop it all for you.” You smiled, sitting in the arms of the guy you loved. The thoughts didn’t just magically go away, but for a brief moment in time, you were happy.

[michelle-is-writing]

Reunite, Luke Crain (1)

In this fic, Luke never befriended Joey.

Word count: 2.5k~

Part 1

Your life can flash by you in an instant. For me, when I think about my life, I see it all pass me as a theater release of a drama film. One moment, you're with the love of your life, enjoying a nice dinner with his family, and in the next, you're at your would-be sister-in-law's funeral with the love of your life sitting beside you, his body still recovering from years of drug abuse and the ring you once wore on your left ring finger long gone. Looking around the room, the dreary blank walls set with the dimming white lights match my life - those things used to be lit up and lively, and now, they're memories of what used to be good.

Life used to be great. I had Luke, his family, and a wedding ring on my finger. I could handle his nightmares and past memories of bad things that once went on in his life. What I couldn't handle was the heroin and the constant lies and betrayal that came with the drugs. It only took me a stolen tablet and used needles to kick Luke out of my life. It hurt me a lot to do that, but what hurt worse was seeing him after three years of nothing with him.

As soon as I stepped into the funeral home owned by Shirley, I caught Luke's eyes trained on my own. Whereas his were altered over the years by drugs and dangerous things alike, mine were affected by sadness and the cold I felt without him by my side. However, it was like nothing had changed between us, and the feelings we once held for each other not too long ago were still there. I don't know if it was because something as traumatic as Nell's death had just occurred and we both needed someone, or if maybe we were both still in love.

It was almost natural to sit beside each other, and for some reason, it was natural for me to still worry about him. "What are those bruises on your face from?" I asked, reaching up to gently touch them. "Did you get into a fight?"

Instead of simply brushing my hand away, Luke smiled softly and reached up to take my hand in his with the gentlest touch I had ever felt from him. "No, just some trouble from a few guys in an alleyway," he explained, his voice quiet as he watched me gaze at him with worried eyes. "But it's okay," He told me, his thumb running over the back of my hand. "I'm fine."

Steve had told me about Luke being in rehab and staying clean for a while. When he picked up Luke, he wasn't strung out either; in fact, he wasn't thinking or worried about drugs at all, it seemed. He was proud of that chip in his pocket, and even though it took him a few years, I was too.

Once the wake was over, Luke placed a kiss on my cheek before heading back with Steve to his hotel room while I stayed with Theo. It was like I was back to my old life five years ago when Luke and I would spend time with his family regularly, and everything was alright. Now I was spending time with his family without him or Nell, and yet, I was still accepted as a part of their family.

The day after the wake was the funeral, and like the day before, Luke was with me the entire time. Standing beside me in the blistering cold, his hand wrapped around mine and kept it warm while Nell's body was laid into the ground. Despite almost being a sister to Nell, I know it was still harder for Luke to see that sight than it was for me.

It was only when the funeral was over that mine and Luke's hands left each other's and we were headed back to the funeral home with everyone in their respected vehicles. In the midst of everyone talking around me, I began to think, and as endless thoughts ran through my mind, one thing stuck out. Although, it wasn't a thing; in fact, it was a question, and because of that question, I was plagued with a sickness in my stomach that wouldn't go away.

How do I still love Luke?

After everything he's put everyone through, I don't know how I could, but somehow, I can without any doubts about him loving me back. I've heard and seen the 'clean' act many times before, and yet, this one is seems to be the one that will actually work. Everything in me wants this to be the case, but there's a part of me that's afraid to stick around to see it. Why? Because I can't witness yet another time when Luke decides being a junkie is more important than everything else.

Arriving back at Shirley's funeral home, I let everyone exit the limousine before me, leaving me to be the last one out. As I'm stepping out of the long vehicle, I'm greeted by a hand reaching out to help me. Looking up at the owner of the hand, I see that it's only Luke, leaving me to give him a smile of thanks.

Walking toward the funeral home and out of the blistering cold, Luke speaks up. "When was the last time you spoke with Nell?" He asks, his warm hand still encased in mine as we walk up the steps to the house across from Shirley's main home.

"A few months ago, around the time she lost Arthur," I answer him as he opens the door for us. "I went over to her apartment to take her to lunch, but it was like I was talking to... not to be insensitive, but a ghost," I explain, watching Luke's face for any sign of hurt. Thankfully, his face remains the same, and the only thing that changes is us both sitting down beside each other in the entry hall. "She was... so emotionless and lifeless that it didn't feel like I was talking to Nell."

As if my words were slowly washing over him, Luke slowly nods before sitting back against the couch cushions. A few seconds of silence pass before either of us speak up with me being the one who says something. Although, it's something I've had resting on my chest for a while. "I can remember Nell's wedding, and how Shirley sent you away," I murmur, looking over at Luke as he continues staring back at me. It's something that's hurt me for a while, and I've been hoping for the opportunity to talk about this with him.

"I was such a dumbass," he points out, closing his eyes as he shakes his head. Seeing him do such a thing makes me want to lean in and hold him like I used when he was upset or stressed. I can't now, but I would be lying if I said I didn't miss that.

"I know," I say, opting to lean back against the couch like Luke. "Shirley and I got into an argument when she came back in," I confess, reaching a hand up to scratch at my neck as I swallow down the lump in my throat. Because of the argument, Shirley and I no longer have the friendship we once had. "I can't remember what I said, but she responded back that it was my fault you were the way you were because I wasn't doing enough to stop you," I add, watching Luke quickly look back at me with a mix of slight anger and hurt. I don't have to be a genius to know that Luke's upset over what Shirley said to me. "Don't be mad at Shirl, she was under a lot of pressure with the wedding-"

"She still should have never said that to you," Luke cuts me off, causing me to move forward and cover his hands with mine. "I did everything on my own accord, and no one could stop me. Not you, not Nell... no one," He admits, shaking his head out of shame once again. "I should have never put any of you through that - especially you. You were the last person I wanted to hurt."

His words cause the lump in my throat to return as well as tears in my eyes, but for once in a while, they're from happiness and not sadness. "You're better now," I remind him with a strained voice, rubbing my thumb against the back of his hand until he moves to take my hands in his rather than the reverse. "Please don't go back to what you were doing. Please, don't."

At my pleading, Luke moves forward to press his forehead to mine, something he hasn't done in such a long time. "I don't want to," He tells me, his nose almost touching mine as his green eyes stay locked on mine. "I really don't want to."

I know why he's saying he 'doesn't want to' rather than 'I won't.' He's said that before - every time he went into rehab, he said it. Perhaps he realizes that all the previous times held nothing but empty promises and he doesn't want to repeat that.

I do have to say that I'm thankful he avoided the topic of our previous engagement. Most of all, what I did with the ring. I still have it, of course, but I don't wear it. It's a hurtful reminder of what used to be my life, and I get enough of that pain just seeing it in my jewelry box everyday.

Luke and I continue sitting together on the couch for a while, just enjoying each other's company while everyone moves around us. It's only when Shirley asks me to help her with bringing out more snacks that Luke and I depart. Once I'm in the small kitchen with her, Shirley turns toward me and breaks the awkward silence surrounding us.

"Please don't tell me you're going to go to his hotel room later," She practically growls out, causing me to look at her confused. How could she assume something so bold?

"No, I'm not, Shirl," I tell her, watching her pointed glare soften with a small sigh. "I haven't even thought about doing something even remotely similar."

"I'm just making sure," She explains, holding her hands out in an 'okay' motion. "I don't want to see you hurt, or have something bad happen again," Shirley continues on, turning back to open the fridge and take out another tray of finger-foods. "I... don't want you to be let down again."

With her last words running through my head, I nod and bite my lip as I step forward to take the plate from her hands. "I know, Shirl," I assure her with another nod. "And, unfortunately, I completely understand."

With the second tray in her hands, Shirley closes the fridge and turns back around to walk into the main room with me behind her. Placing the plates on top of the empty ones, Shirley thanks me with a smile before walking off to do other things. Looking back over to the couch Luke and I were previously sitting at, I find it to be empty, and instead of seeing Luke in the spot I left him, I instead see him heading out with something in his hands. Is he...

Without being noticed, I head towards the exit in an almost sprint before slipping out and nearly jumping off the steps. Seeing the lights of Theo's Jeep flicker in the corner of my eyes, I know exactly what's going on.

"Luke!" I nearly shout, trying not to trip in my heels as the gravel moves under my feet. Immediately, Luke stops walking and turns toward me, his face cast almost in worry. "What are you doing, Luke?" I ask, feeling myself grow disappointed at the possibility of him trying to leave to break his sobriety.

"I have to do this," He says as I stop a few feet in front of him. Instantly, my disappointment grows into anger.

"Don't tell me you're going to get high," I practically seethe, taking a step forward toward him. However, to my surprise, Luke looks almost shocked by my words, and instead of getting into the Jeep, he stays standing in front of me.

"NO!" He exclaims, staring at me with furrowed brows. "That's the farthest thing from my mind now!" Luke further explains, a few seconds passing before he looks away and sighs. "It's that damn house... it did this..."

Despite his words being quiet, I still hear them and become confused. "What house, Luke?" I ask, just as realization sets in. "You mean Hill House?" I murmur, my anger dissipating within seconds. I know about Hill House and the horrors within it - hell, it's one of the reasons Luke is the way he is.

"It killed Nell," He sneers, shaking his head. "It killed my mom, and now it's killed my sister," Luke adds, taking a quick glance at the sky before looking back at me. "The house is evil, and I need to make sure it won't kill again."

Just by his words, I know what he plans on doing. "...I'm going with you," I declare, my mind not changing any time soon.

Eyes wide, Luke shakes his head at me. "No, no, (Y/n), you can't," He states, but I don't back away. Instead, I move to take his hands in mine as I say my next words.

"Yes, I am," I tell him, staring up at him with an moving gaze. "Luke, I haven't seen you for what feels like forever, you're finally off drugs, your sister died, and you're going through one of the most traumatic things in your life," I point out, my voice cracking toward the end as I stop myself from letting it all come out at once. "I... I still love you," I confess as a whisper, trying not to let all of the hurt show through. "I don't want to lose you permanently."

For a few seconds, Luke's eyes bounce everywhere as does his foot in a nervous manner. As if he had decided on something, Luke shakes his head before quickly leaning forward and pressing his lips to mine while taking my face in his hands. To feel myself kiss back without hesitance makes me want to pull away in fear of being hurt again, but I can't. Not when I've missed this the most.

Once Luke pulls away, his hands move to wrap around my waist and pull me close while his face stays mere inches away from mine. "I still love you too - I never stopped," Luke admits, "You're the only thing keeping me going, even if I can't have you like I used to," He adds, letting out a shaky sigh afterward. "Come on."

[westcoastrry]

Can’t Help If This Is Us

Hello friends. I’ve worked super hard on this fic. I’m not a fast writer so this took my while and I’m super happy with the way it turned out! Special thank to my bestie @harryforvogue​ . I wouldn’t know how to spell or about even write if it wasn’t for her so thanks you ugly fart face.

Also I wrote this entirely for free so all I ask is for feedback. I would really appreciate it and would love to hear your thoughts!

literally mate please let me know your thoughts. PLEASE. I beg.

WARNING: there is smut in this and mentions of the mafia.

I hope you enjoy reading Kiara and Harry’s story as much an I enjoyed writing it. 11.5k words

A fic about Kiara, a normal girl who works at a coffee shop in the upper east side of New York, where she meets Harry. A man who is caught up in a job he doesn’t want but is working hard to craft a better life for himself.

Fuck me like you wanna make love

Call me when you wanna stay in touch

Lie together just to gain trust

Say what you wanna say, can't help if this is us

Moving to New York was a fresh start for Kiara.

It’s only been a couple of months, but she has grown accustomed to the city.

She has an apartment in a not-so-great part of town, but it is close to her University, and the view from her balcony isn’t too bad. She is a coffee connoisseur, so when her pregnant friend and neighbor, Trina, helped her get a job at a cafe on the Upper East Side of Manhattan, how could Kiara truly not make the best of her newfound city life?

“An Americano please?” a deep British voice asserts.

Kiara’s cleaning off the steamer about an hour into her morning shift when the man with long chocolate curls speaks to her. Kiara has been working here for a month, and some very high profile people have come to the shop, but Kiara has never seen this man, but he sure looks important. He is in a suit, all black, and the only accessories are the multitude of rings he has on his fingers. The rose one catches her eye first, then the big gold H.S letter rings. Those are his initials? What is the point of that? Is this man obsessed with himself?

“Americano?” he says more lightly, snapping Kiara out of her thoughts.

“Sorry, I- Americano,” Kiara stutters.

Kiara isn’t one to get easily flustered, but how can she not be when this six-foot sexy man was towering over her in a suit, asking for black coffee.

Only real men drink black coffee.

She works around the machine expertly until the man’s voice interrupts her. “You’re new here?”

“Yeah,” she responds, swiping a curl off her forehead. Managing her naturally curly type four hair in the bipolar New York weather has been a challenge. Most days, she wears her thick hair in a bun, or when she can afford to get it done, box braids. “Started working here a month ago.” Kiara hands him the coffee in a brown to-go cup.

“Hmmm. I’m here all the time. I’m sure I would have noticed a new pretty employee.”

“Guess I’m not all that pretty then,” Kiara fires back, handing him a receipt with a pen to sign.

Harry doesn’t really know what to say to that because he actually does find Kiara pretty. He likes that her face is an even brown color with a few beauty marks. He likes the color of her light brown hair, and he really likes the sound of her voice. It’s sort of angelic, even when she is snapping at him.

Harry smugly hands Kiara his hefty card (the first indicator that this man has money) and signs the receipt. He drops some cash on the bill.

“That’s your tip. By the way, I do think you’re pretty.” His eyes flick down to her name tag. “Kiara.”

Kiara rolls her eyes at the man. He probably walks around life getting everything handed to him because he’s rich, white, and hot.

Screw him and his stupid cute dimple, Kiara thinks to herself. She goes to grab the receipt he signed and see’s two fifty-dollar bills stacked on each other.

Her mouth forms into an “o” shape. A hundred dollars on a three-dollar coffee? What sense does that even make? This had to be a mistake.

“Hey Kiara, are you okay?” Trina, who’s waiting tables today, asks. She has her brown apron tied over her baby bump with a few crumpled receipts and pens tucked in the pockets.

“I just got tipped a hundred dollars,” Kiara says, still shocked.

“You go, girl!” Trina enthusiastically shouts. “Who was it? A regular?”

“I’m not sure. I’ve never seen him before. Brown curly hair, dressed in a nice black suit-”

“Oh, that’s Harry,” Trina smiles. “Everyone loves Harry. He is a cutie. Been getting coffee here for a long time. He owns the strip club down the street.”

“I’m sorry. The dude owns a what?”

“A strip club bar type thing,” Trina shrugs. “Very fancy. It’s pretty much only for the elite. He is super nice. Everyone loves him here! He bought me a crib and this fancy high-tech stroller when he found out I was pregnant.”

“Yeah, well, he is kinda a dick if you ask me,” Kiara mutters under her breath.

“He tipped you a hundred dollars, and you’re calling him a dick?” Trina curiously questions.

“He called me pretty! And he had this arrogant ambiance to his voice. And what is with all the rings? It’s tacky.”

Trina places her hands on her hips.“Oh, just say you find the man hot! It’s okay to admit you find Manhattan’s most eligible and rich bachelor hot. I don’t blame you. I would get on it if I wasn’t thirty and pregnant.”

“I’m not admitting anything. Besides, I don’t have time for men. Men just cause problems.”

“Oh, you're telling me?” Trina points to her bulging belly. Kiara snorts at her friend and starts to walk away to grab more coffee beans from the storage, and Trina follows closely behind her. “You need to have some fun! Loosen up. Get your head out of that textbook. You have been living next to me for three months, and I haven’t seen you invite not one boy over! I know that vibrator you use is tired.”

Kiara grabs the box of coffee beans and turns back around to face Trina. “My vibrator is doing me just fine.”

Kiara’s whole life has been centered around academics. She was a really smart kid growing up. She had a good start to life too. However, Kiara’s wholesome childhood took a turn at twelve when her Dad died in a car accident. The accident was horrific for her entire family, but it hit her mom the worst. Her mom went from being a well respected physician's assistant, to being a drug addict, and Kiara had to grow up at the tender age of twelve just to take care of her mother. Around the age of fourteen Kiara’s mom got shipped off to rehab, and she ended up weaving in and out of foster homes until she was eighteen. Kiara realized that she never wants that to happen to her future family. She has been working hard on her academics because she hopes to have a stable income, so she can give her future kid the life that she never had.

It’s not like Kiara didn’t want to go and mingle around. Meet a new guy, have a one-nightstand, maybe even possibly fall in love. However, the dating scene as a brown skin woman in a whitewashed part of the city isn’t as easy as it sounds. Kiara doesn’t teeter the line of looking ethnically ambiguous. She is clearly a Black girl. Caramel skin, tight curls, full lips, and wide hips. Kiara likes these traits that she carries. In fact, she loves them, but men don’t. Specifically, men that aren’t her race. Not to mention that Black men are hard to come by in this particular part of city.

The simple fact is most white men don’t like Black women.

It’s even arguable that Black men don't even like Black women.

And Kiara is okay with that. She doesn’t need to be approved by a bunch of white people, nonetheless ones with penises. She just wishes she had more options to date within her race, or at least find someone who genuinely liked her.

Maybe that’s the reason why Kiara doesn’t want to go out and find a man to have some fun with. She knows he’s going to be white, and she will have to endure hundreds of questions about her race and her hair or meet racist parents, and she has done that all before.

So, for now, instead of explaining this to Trina, her very white friend, she will just blow off her questions about why she isn’t sleeping around or why she doesn’t entertain the idea of going to bars to find cute boys.

+++

The next day Kiara is off work. She spends her day sitting in her bed, in red pajama shorts and her university sweater, studying for her midterm. She got through quite a bit but is still a little worried about not getting an A. About an hour into her studying, she hears bickering from Trina’s apartment.

“I don’t know what you are being so shy about. Just ask her! You are great with girls.”

“No, I’m great at fucking girls. Trying to establish a genuine connection, I haven’t done that in a while.”

“I believe in you! Now go!”

Knock

Knock

It’s another guy that Trina has been trying to set Kiara up with. Trina does this about every other month. Very rarely does Kiara entertain the idea and sleeps with them, because she is bored, but it usually doesn’t go further than that.

Kiara opens the door to her apartment and there stands Harry. He is holding a boutique of red roses in one hand, and his other is behind his back. The suit he is wearing today is slightly different. Same silhouette, but this time the suit is brown. Kiara finally gets a good look at this man, and fuck.

Green eyes, full bright pink lips. Wide shoulders and defined biceps that show he does work out but isn’t a gym rat.

Gucci loafers. Now, this is an interesting man.

“What are you doing here?”

Harry nervously gestures to the flowers in his hand. “I brought you this.”

“You just came here to bring me flowers?”

“I also brought you this,” Harry pulls his hand from behind his back and shows a bottle of wine he got when he went on a business trip in Napa. He was saving the wine for a special occasion, like the next time he would go visit his mom, but this is more than a special occasion in Harry’s eyes. He is trying to swoon this girl.

Kiara smiles at him and grabs the wine bottle. If it’s one thing Kiara has learned in her adult life is that she loves wine. She usually only gets the cheap stuff from the liquor store down the street, but Kiara has never seen this bottle before.

She walked to her kitchen, leaving Harry staring at her dumbfoundedly. She pulled out two wine glasses from her kitchen cabinet.

Normally Kiara wouldn’t entertain this. Especially since she has a test to study for. However, she can’t lie and say she hasn’t been worked up...sexually.

“Alright, you brought me wine. You are welcomed in.”

Harry follows her inside the apartment, feeling a bit awkward. Usually, Harry never found himself at a girl’s place. He always took his one-night stands back to his house and had his assistant, Trevor escort them out in the morning.

Harry was nervous because this wasn’t a one-night stand. This was him bringing wine and flowers to a girls’ apartment, which he barely knows.

Just like Kiara, Harry also hasn’t been in the dating scene in a while. He has been busy with work, and it’s not easy what he does.

“So why did you come all this way to bring me wine?” Kiara asks Harry, pouring some wine into a glass and handing it to him. “I know you don’t live in this part of the city.”

“I don’t.” Harry sits on the barstool by the kitchen countertop. “I told you I thought you were pretty. Nice place, by the way.”

Kiara looks for the sarcasm on Harry’s face when he compliments her one-bedroom apartment but doesn’t find any. Kiara’s apartment isn’t ugly. But it probably is nothing compared to what Harry lives in.

Kiara takes a gulp of her wine. “It’s kinda trash actually. This is the ghetto.”

“You go to Columbia?” Harry asked, noticing her university sweater.

Kiara takes one more gulp of her wine, finishing off what is left in her glass. She was going to answer Harry’s question. She really was. But she got a good look at his bone structure. The way his jaw is a perfectly angled line. The way his Adam apple moves when he takes a sip of his wine. Even the way his fingers glide against the glass.

She begins to wonder how his fingers would feel against her.

“Kiara?”

That was it for Kiara because she doesn’t think she can keep herself composed in front of this beautiful rich man.

Instead of pouring her wine, Kiara grabs the bottle and starts to chug the wine like she is a trucker drinking a Samuel Adams.

Her lips remove from the bottle with a pop sound. Harry is now staring at Kiara completely taken aback by her actions. “What are you really here for, Harry? Sex? Because we can cut the small talk part.”

“Maybe I actually like you, Kiara.”

“You don’t like me.”

“Who told you that,” Harry counters.

Harry watches closely as Kiara struts towards him.

“I thought you were into blonde models?”

“Where are you finding this information from?” he questions.

“Google.”

Harry smirks. “So you’re googling me?”

“You know, if you wanted to know more about me, you could have just asked.”

Kiara cut him off with her lips attached to his. She wanted him to shut up, but she also wanted to kiss him.

Killing two birds with one stone.

Harry’s lips move in sync with hers, and he places his ringed hands on her back, pulling her closer to him.

If Kiara is being honest with herself, Harry’s lips feel like magic. It’s been a while since Kiara has kissed a guy, and she feels butterflies in the pit of her stomach.

“Kiara, what are we doing?” Harry mumbles into her mouth.

“We are gonna go back to my bedroom, and you are going to fuck me. Hard.”

“A-are are you sure about that?” Harry stutters on his words.

“We both know you didn’t come here to take me out on some date. So let’s just do this.”

Harry should have confidently responded and said, “No, Kiara, that is not why I’m here. I’m here because I actually find you attractive, and I know you have been working at the shop for about two weeks now but I have been very nervous to ask you on a date.”

However, his mouth went dry because Kiara threw off her sweater and her perky boobs sat fully on her chest.

“Kiara-”

“You know,” Kiara rests the palm of her hands on his muscular chest. Kiara has the upper hand and she sees it in the way Harry was staring at her, gaping at her actions. She loves being this bold. Upper chest bare for a man who is practically drooling over her boobs. Kiara likes to be in charge, but only for a little bit. After a while she wants to be taken care of. In bed that is. “For a man of such little words, you are talking so much right now.”

Harry grabs both of her wrist, but keeps her hands placed upon his chest. He knows his heart is racing a mile per minute. Kiara feels it and for a second she thinks to herself that there is no way she is causing this man's heart to skip beats.

Kiara stands up on her tippy toes and lets her tongue dart out to touch right below Harry’s ear suckling on the spot until it turns a nice red shade. She detaches her lips with a pop.

“You want this,” Harry whispers.

“I need this,” Kiara responds back.

“Tell me what you need Kiara.”

Harry’s right hand brushes over her bare breast, causing her to buckle a bit and stumble onto Harry’s chest.

“Hold yourself up, love, and tell me what you need.”

“I need you to fuck me,” Kiara whines.

With that, Harry holds Kiara's hips and roughly turns her away from him. Her hands went out and to grab at the granite countertop, holding herself up as much as she possibly could.

“How do you want it, hmm?” Harry whispers, quickly shrugging off his blazer and undoing a few buttons from his shirt. He begins to place wet kisses along the back of her shoulder. “I can fuck you right here, bent over the counter top. Or I can take you to the bed.”

“Here,” Kiara choked out through a moan.

“Can you handle it?” Harry teasingly asked her.

“I can handle it.”

“Can I take off your shorts?” Harry asks in a more serious tone.

“Mhmm, yes please.”

Harry shimmies down Kiara’s shorts. He takes the time to run his hands over her ass. The contact of her hot skin and Harry’s ice cold rings feels good to Kiara. She wants him to spank her, but she isn’t exactly sure what Harry is into and now she wishes she was sober enough to vocalize what she likes in bed so her needs can be met.

“Let's get a good orgasam out of you. Can I eat you?”

“Yes. God Harry, you're teasing me.”

“Not teasing,” he reassures her. “Just wanna know what you like.”

Harry gets down on his knees and opts for pushing her gray panties to the side instead of taking them off. Her core is glistening in her arousal and the smell alone makes Harry’s dick twitch in his boxers.

“Stop staring at it and-” Kiara cuts her sentence off with a yelp because Harry has attached his plump lips to her clit, giving her small kitten licks.

Kiara doesn’t really prefer to be eaten out. Most men's mouths don’t really do it for her. However, Harry is doing a very good job at keeping her legs shaking. She wants to turn around and look at him, but everytime she tries he delves deeper and deeper in her core, until she can barely hold herself up.

“M’mmm. A little higher please?”

Harry smirks against Kiara’s core because the little please she added to the end of her request tells him that she is slowly letting go of the tough exterior she puts up.

“Here? Is this good?”

“Yeah. Fuck right there please.” Kiara grips at the counter harder until her fingertips turned white.

“Been eating your veggies, huh?” Harry talks against Kiara’s core, the vibrations making her shudder. “You taste good love.”

Kiara is unable to respond because Harry is really going at it. His hands tightly grip Kiara's hips. His face is completely buried in her cunt, and he feels a slight ache in his jaw from the motions he makes with his mouth.

He continues to lick over her swollen folds, and then wraps his lips around her clit, which makes Kiara arch her back and push onto him. She is a panting mess, mouth wide open, eyes pinched together. She begins to thrash around but Harry grips even tighter at her hips.

“Stay still love.”

“I can’t,” she whined. “I’m gonna cum.”

“Why don’t you ask to cum?”

Kiara chokes on her spit slightly when Harry pulls his mouth from her pussy, and dips a finger inside of her. “Am I not entitled to an orgasm?”

“You are if you wanna be good for me.”

“Well if you're looking for a good girl I think you have come to the wrong place-”

Harry adds a second finger to her, which shuts Kiara up. “Ask nicely and you can cum.”

“I didn’t know you were gonna be so-”

“So what?” Harry asks her.

“Dominant.”

“You're lucky I’m not spanking you.”

“What's holding you back?” Kiara challenged.

Harry gets up from off his knees, and his free hand reigns down a heavy smack on her ass.

“Ask me nicely,” Harry demands, slowly pumping his fingers in and out of her.

“No.”

Smack.

“Ask nicely Kiara. I can do this all night.”

Kiara snaps her head back to look at Harry. “No.”

Smack.

Smack.

Smack.

The three spanks that Harry had given to Kiara were much harder than the first. So hard that Harry started to see an outline of his hand print.  

It's when Harry gives her one more smack and pushes his fingers deeper into her, hitting a sensitive spot that Kiara gives in.

“Fuck, Harry please just let me come,” Kiara struggles to say with a couple tears falling from her eyes from being so wrapped up in pleasure.

“Say sorry.”

“I’m sorry. So damn sorry. Please, I'm so close.”

Harry laughed at how her personality has done a complete one eighty. She went from being a complete brat to now begging him for an orgasm. “You are?”

“Yes please.”

Once Harry feels her pussy tighten around his fingers he pulls them from inside of her. “I don’t think you are that sorry.”

Kiara let out a whimper at the loss of connection. Her legs are still shaking and she almost slipped off the counter but Harry was quick to catch her.

Harry's strong arms snaked around to the front of Kiara’s stomach, letting her stumble back into her arms. She felt Harry’s hard cock press up against her raw ass.“Easy now.”

Usually, Kiara would give Harry some witty comments, but right now she is too worked up from being so close to her orgamsm. She feels a bit fuzzy, not sure what to do next. Her core aches and all she can think about is getting off.

Her hands go down to rub at her clit, but Harry quickly smacks it away.

“That's my job tonight alright? You gonna let me fuck you? You're gonna be good so I can get you off properly.”

Kiara nods her head.

“Verbal consent Kiara.”

“Yes please.”

“Good girl.”

Harry’s smug voice echoes in her ear as he places wet open mouth kisses along her neck. Harry is really enjoying himself. She felt him smile against his neck when he started to coax soft moans out of her.

Kiara weakly pushes Harry's head away from her neck.

“Doll, are you okay? Did I hurt you?”

“No, I'm good. Can we just take this to my bedroom?” Kiara politely asks. “I think I will be more comfortable there.”

When Harry gets a good look at Kiara, he can tell he has pushed past the first layer of her tough exterior. He knows there is probably much more fight and sass in her, but right now she looks vulnerable.

“Yes of course we can,” Harry held his hand out and Kiara willingly took it as he led both of them to the bedroom.

When they arrive, Kiara sits at the edge of her queen sized bed, and Harry lets go of her hand. She whines a little at the feeling of Harry’s hands slipping away from her.

Harry chuckles at the girl. “Let me just take my shirt off darling.”

Kiara watches closely as Harry’s fingers undo the buttons one by one. His silk shirt gilded easily off his toned shoulders. He made his way to sit at the top of Kiara’s bed leaning against the headboard, and Kiara crawled on her hands and knees toward him.

“Christ,” Harry mumbled under his breath.

Harry spreads his legs wider, which allows Kiara to sit comfortably in his lap. She let her hands roam up and down his tattoos starting with the birds on his collar bone. She then notices the butterfly right above his tummy. When she places her left hand on it, tracing the wings, Harry sighs contently at her touch. It’s a comforting touch, one that he has never experienced with his one-night stands.

Harry breaks a sweat on his forehead when Kiara continues to trace his tattoos. His broad chest stops moving up and down because he begins to hold his breath. He isn’t really sure what she is doing, but it feels good. Good enough for Harry to exhale and relax into the bed.

For Harry, sex with girls usually got directly to the point. Of course, there was foreplay, but not to any extent like this.

Having someone else’s hands on your body is a part of sex. However, this feels much more intimate than that. He’s got that feeling of butterflies in his stomach when Kiara begins to run her hands all over his body. It felt like he was in high school again, having sex for the first time and being so nervous because you don’t know what to do. But in this case, the nerves and butterflies don’t come from a lack of knowledge of the female anatomy. It comes from being completely enamored by the beauty this one girl holds.

And for just a second, Harry questions if he deserves this to feel the way he feels right now. Warm and a little drunk on the feeling of love. He doesn’t love Kiara, at least not yet anyway. But he feels like at this moment, Kiara cares for him. And even if she doesn’t care for him, he wouldn’t mind existing in this false reality he has created in his head for a really long time.

Something about having his body touched in such a vulnerable way is making him feel things he has never felt in his life.

“You have a lot of tattoos,” Kiara points out, fingers still tracing his butterfly tattoo.

“Yeah, I have been collecting them over the years.”

“Which one was your first one?” Kiara asks curiously.

Harry brought Kiara’s delicate hands up to the swallows on his chest.

“These ones,” Harry’s voice shakily said. Kiara takes her index finger and begins to trace the birds.

“How old were you?” Kiara asks, keeping her eyes looking at the birds.

“Sixteen,” is all Harry says, trying to keep his past where it belongs. In the past.

“That’s young. You don’t regret any of them?”

“No, actually. I think they all tell a story. Sure, some of them are stupid, but they all got some meaning behind them.

Kiara innocently brings her hand up to his cheek, cradling his face. “You gotta tell me about them one day. You have so many.”

“Mhmm,” Harry hummed in response.

“Let’s kiss some more,” Kiara suggested, wiggling her hips in Harry’s lap to find a comfortable position.

Harry nodded his head in response letting his lips touch Kiara’s, but not yet giving in to her request. His hands find their way to her lower back, and Kiara’s hands now have made their way up to his shoulders.

“You look good. You know that?” Harry says against her lips.

Kiara now has a grin on her face and blushes at Harry as if she has never received a compliment in her life.

Kiara brushes a brown curl off of Harry’s face with her index finger, “You can’t give me compliments while I’m buzzed off of wine because you might make me fall in love with you.”

Harry smiles. “Why don’t I just fuck you like I love you?”

Harry realizes what he said and awkwardly takes his hands off of Kiara’s body, nervously running his hands through his hair.

Kiara see’s the worried look on Harry’s face, but she is just a tad bit too intoxicated to process the weight of Harry’s words.

“Or you could let me fuck you,” Kiara bodly suggests. “I just haven’t done it in a while, so you might need to take over when my legs get sore.”

Harry nods, his forehead pushed upon Kiara’s. He kisses her again, and is taken by surprise when she lightly bites on his lip. She then gives a quick kiss to the corner of the month, and then his throat. She leans over to kiss his collar bones, and Harry takes the opportunity to grab a handful of her ass.

He then slowly peels her underwear off of her. He drags it slowly past her thighs looking down at her soaking wet core.

“You’re wet,” Harry mummers into her ear.

Kiara cups Harry’s dick through his boxers, and slides them off of his hips.

Harry groans in pleasure when he feels her hand touch his hard dick that is leaking pre cum.

“Don’t get too cocky now,” her hand lazily pumps at Harry's length, which she finds to be quite impressive in size.

“Kiara, don’t forget who is in charge here,” Harry grits through his teeth.

Kiara dips her head down to lick at Harry's heavy balls, she then continues her way up to his shaft until she makes her way to his tip and suctions her lips around the pink swollen flesh.

Harry looks down at the Kiara, who is giving him those innocent eyes, as if she doesn’t have his entire dick in her mouth

“Oh fuck me,” Harrys rolls his eyes, and lets his head fall onto the headboard.

“I will. But let me suck you off first.”

Kiara passes her thumb over his dick, and kisses all around the tip. She licks him up and down before taking him into her mouth entirely, making sure to make eye contact with him.

Harry places his hand gently over Kiara’s head, asking permission to touch her. She blinks at him signaling to him that it's okay.

He took a rough grip to Kiara’s brown curls, moving her head up and down in a steady rhythm.

“That's it,” he encourages as Kiara suckles on his tip. “Fucking hell.”

She pulls her mouth from Harry's length and gives him a few sharp tugs.

“Slow down,” Harry pants. “Want to be inside of you when I come. Can you handle it?”

Kiara swings one leg around Harry’s lap, her core just inches away from Harry’s throbbing dick.

“Yeah I can.”

“Well what are you waiting for?”

Kiara slowly slides down on Harry’s dick, and his hands cling to the sides of hips, coaxing her on her way down. Harry groans at how tight and snug she feels around him.

Kiara is about halfway down when the blissful feeling starts to hit her. She tightens her grip on Harry’s shoulders biting her bottom lip.

“What's wrong? Thought you said you could handle it.”

Bravely, in one push Kiara glides right down Harry’s dick.

Harry groans with pleasure as soon as she makes it all the way down. His hands go out to grip her ass, and help her bounce up and down.

“That's it. Good girl. You like it when I call you that?”

“Yes,” Kiara responds, picking up her speed so that her tits move up and down with her.

“What do you want me to call you? I can call you my good girl, a slut, or whore. Which one do you prefer?”

“A whore,” Kiara is slightly embarrassed at what this man is doing to her, but she is so wrapped up in the lust of the moment that she really couldn’t care less.

“You're my dirty little whore, hmmm?”

Harry cranes his neck down to place a kiss on her tongue, lapping his tongue over her soft skin that smells like a floral scented perfume. He moans softly into her neck and squeezes at her fleshy hips.

“Yes.”

“Say it.”

“I’m your dirty little whore,” Out of nowhere Harry thrust his hips up to meet hers. “Fuck, Harry!”

Harry placed a wet kiss behind her hair before speaking, “How about you get on your hands and knees for me. I can fuck you like that.”

“Okay,” Kiara withdraws herself from him with ease due to how wet she was. She props herself on her hands and knees and arches her back for Harry.

Harry places a hand on her lower back. He rubs the tip of his dick over her wet folds before pushing in.

Harry moves slowly at first, testing out the waters to make sure he isn’t hurting her. Her sweet moans are only egging Harry on, and he is sure he isn’t gonna last another five minutes inside of her.

“Please Harry. Fuck me faster please.”

Harry hands grips on Kiara's fleshy love handles. It is a little tight for her liking however the pain is quickly drowned out by the intense pleasure she begins to feel.

This is a dirty shag. Harry is pounding into her at such an extreme pace that Kiara can’t even get a full moan out. Her little “uhhhh’s” and “nggggs” only encourage Harry on.

Kiara’s orgasm hits her first and it's just as blissful as she thought it would be. Legs trembling, her arms are no longer propping herself up, instead her right cheek is pushed up on the bed, and a bit of salvia is foaming out of her mouth.

“I’m gonna, oh god Kiara. Just give me a sec- fuck!”

Harry’s orgasm shortly follows and it's just as euphoric for him as it was for Kiara. This was one of the most satisfying sexual encounters Harry has had in a while and he wants to enjoy every second of being buried in Kiara’s warmth.

Harry was about to pull out from her but when he looked down at where they were connecting he realized how fucked he was.

Not only did he not wear a condom, but he most definitely came inside of her.

“Fuck,” Harry mumbles under his breath.

How could he be so careless? This has never happened to him. Harry has had quite the extent of sexual partners and he makes sure to always use a condom.

He wants to blame it on the wine but he didn’t even finish his glass.

“I need a second,” Kiara tiredly whispers, panting.

“I didn’t use a condom.”

“I’m sorry?” Kiara says still coming down from her high.

Harry runs his hand through his tangled hair nervously, “I didn’t use a condom. I haven’t had sex in almost a year though. I get tested regularly too. I’m sorry it just slipped my mind. I can run out and get you some plan B.”

“It's okay,” Kiara responds. She turns her head around to look at Harry. “Do you mind pulling out now though?”

Harry looks down at his dick, and then looks up at Kiara. “Oh yeah shit uhh.” He grabs on to Kiara’s hips and slowly pulls out of her.

“I haven’t had sex in like six months by the way,” Kiara slowly turns herself around to face Harry who has now tucked himself back in his boxers. “It could be longer honestly… it's been pretty dry here until now.”

“Yeah, same. Busy with work and what not.”

There is a moment of uncomfortable silence. Kiara has the sheets up to her bare breast, and Harry is not only taking in the raw beauty of the girl in front of him, and still beyond shocked he forgot to put on a damn condom.

“Well, I can get you some plan B. I think there is like a Target down the block from your apartment.”

“No, it's fine!” Kiara responds way too quickly. “I mean like, Trina has a stash in her car. I can steal from her in the morning. You don't have to rush out if you don’t want to. It’s not safe to drive at night, and you probably have such a long way to go.”

“You want me to stay?”

“Is that a bad thing?”

Harry shakes his head. “No...errr it's not. I would really like to stay.”

“Okay well I’m gonna pee. And clean myself up. I can bring you some water?”

“Water would be great.”

Kiara nods at him, standing up so that her white sheet is wrapped tightly around her body. She knows that there is no reason to hide from Harry. He just took her from behind and called her a whore, but Harry isn’t just any man. He is a man who looks like a greek god, and fucks like one too. So Kiara couldn’t help but be a little self conscious.

Kiara quickly comes back with two glasses of water. She has even changed into an old ratty T-shirt and a fresh pair of underwear.

Kiara hands Harry a glass and he takes a sip, “You know,” she starts, crawling into bed next to him. “If you told me you fuck like that maybe I wouldn’t have put up a fight at the cafe.”

Harry blushes, setting the glass on the nightstand next to him. “Didn’t plan this, you know. Not that I mind. Trust me, I like this.”

“I would be lying if I didn’t say I thought you were cute.”

“Oh,” Harry playfulls wiggles his eyebrows, scooting himself closer to Kiara on the bed. “Please do tell me more.”

Kiara pouts at Harry until he places a kiss on her bottom lip, another sloppy wet one on her cheek. He grabs at her sides, tickling her.

“Har- Harry! Stop, please!” Kiara begins to laugh uncontrollably. She even attempts to pull Harry’s enormous hands from her body but has no luck.

“Okay, okay,” she gives up, Harry pulling his hands off of her. “It was the whole curly hair, suit thing. I love a man in a suit, and you know you got an Americano. You have good taste in coffee.”

Harry smiles. “You make good coffee.”

Kiara hums awkwardly, not making eye contact with Harry, instead opting to stare at his mermaid tattoo with abnormally large tits.

“I like your hair too,” Harry speaks up. “It frames your face nicely. It was the first thing I noticed about you.” Harry’s ringed hands make their way to the top of Kiara’s thigh, rubbing her soft skin. “Then it was all the pins you had on your apron. You have a lot.”

“Oh. Yeah I’ve been collecting them over the years.”

“You had one that said, ‘Don’t be a damn.’ What does that mean?”

“I’m not sure,” Kiara shrugs, breathing out a relaxed sigh. “It was like my third year of undergrad. I studied abroad at the University Of Edinburgh, in Scotland and this guy who had a jewelry shop said it to me. The next day I came back he just gave me the pin and told me to always keep it with me.”

Harry smiles at Kiara with adornment, “I have family in Scotland. I’m from London though. Grew up there with my mum most of my life.”

“What brought you to New York then?”

“School then work. I went to Columbia,” Harry says, giving her the shortest answer possible. “I noticed you had it on your sweater earlier…. You know before you tore it off.”

“Shut up!” Kiara groans, striking Harry’s chest. “But yes I do go to Colombia. Just for my teaching credentials. I want to teach history.”

There is a beast of silence. “Are you sure if I stay the night? I don't want to intrude-”

“I want you to stay the night.”

Harry’s heart warms because no girl has ever said that to him. The feeling of butterflies swarming around in his tummy has come back, and he knows his cheeks are heating up in embarrassment.

“Alright.” Harry pulls Kiara’s body closer to him which makes her squeal in surprise. “Only if you keep me warm for the night.

+++

Harry is awake before Kiara.

Harry is used to waking up early for his job, and usually, he would be on his way to get his morning coffee and then head on down to the club.

However, he just can't leave the girl he just fucked last night.

Her breaths are short, and he can feel her heart thumping against his chest. She was properly attached to him, and Harry really liked it. Having her this close to him.

He takes the time while Kiara was asleep to not only watch her sleep peacefully but look at all the artwork she has displayed on her walls. There are no family pictures that Harry can spot, just a picture of her and Trina on her desk. It looks like they are at some club. Trina has a drink in her hand that looks like she is about to spill and Kiara is downing a shot.

Kiara stirs a bit in her sleep and Harry watches as she slowly blinks her eyes open.

“You're warm.” She blinks. “Do you want breakfast?” Kiara offers, nuzzling herself in the crook of Harry’s neck. “I make a really good omelet.”

Harry laughs. “Kiara I really can’t keep up with you.”

Kiara begins to innocently pepper kisses all over Harry’s neck. “What do you mean?” she pouts.

Harry groans once Kiara sucks on a sensitive right beneath his jawline. “For starters, you didn’t like me at all when we first met. Then we fucked because you claimed I was here just for sex. And now you are offering to make me an omelet.”

“What are you here for then?” Kiara presses.

Harry sighs, looking down at the pretty girl all tangled up in his arms. Harry knows exactly what he wants. He is twenty-seven and he is really looking for love. A life-long partner who he can come home to after a hard day at work. A partner who makes getting up in the morning all worth it. Someone who he can take out on dates, maybe even take to meet his brother.

He wants to take a leap of faith with Kiara. He wants to ask her on a date, however, he can’t bring himself to do that. He doesn’t want to put this girl in harm’s way because he likes her.

And it's not even about Kiara getting hurt. He would never let anything physically happen to the people he cares about in his life. It’s honestly about the hurt she would experience if something happened to him.

“I-”

Harry is interrupted by Trina barging into the bedroom.

“We will be late for the train if you don't get your ass up! You always sleep in--” Trina pauses once she realizes her best friend is wrapped up in her other best friend’s arms. “Oh fuck.” Trina points back to the door. “I’ll wait outside for you.”

“Shit,” Kiara grumbles to herself. “I forgot I had work.”

Harry watches as Kiara frantically pulls her underwear up her body. When she realizes Harry is staring at her, she turns around to slide on her black lace bra.

Harry isn’t trying to be that much of a dick, staring at Kiara while she is getting changed. It's just that her ass is littered with marks from his heavy handy, and a light bruise on her loved handles from holding her securely on his lap, while he pounded into her.

The bruises were tainted with the memory of last night, and Harry notices how every little mark told the story of their rough and passionate sex. Looking back on it Harry doesn’t know if he was too rough with the young girl. He doesn’t like that it was possible that he may have hurt her.

“You need to go,” Kiara demands, pulling her jeans on, and then her white shirt.

Harry picked up his white button-up shirt off the floor and threw it over his shoulder. “Kiara, was I too rough? Maybe you should put something on the bruises--”

“I’m going to be late for work Harry,” she snaps.

“Are you mad?”

Tears well up in Kiara’s eyes and this is very unusual for her. She never cries. She is not even sure why she is crying. She pauses for a moment not answering his questions.

“I’m fine,” Kiara answers with her back still facing away from Harry.

“You’re crying, Kiara.”

“I’m not!” Kiara yelled, throwing her hands up in the air turning around. “I- I’m just a little overwhelmed.” Kiara’s breath gets caught in the back of her throat. “I have school, and I work full time, and I’m interning at this elementary school...and that…” Kiara points to the bed. “That was the best sex I have ever had, and now I look like a complete freak.” She wipes a tear with the back of her hand. “I look like a complete freak because all we did was have sex and now I’m crying. It doesn’t have much to do with you I think. I’m just a little stressed.”

That was a complete lie and Kiara knows it. At this moment, she could care less about school or the stress of work. Its that empty feeling you have after sex knowing that this isn’t a forever thing. Harry will go back to being Harry, and she will go back to being Kiara. It is simply just sex...nothing more.

Harry gets off the bed in just his unbuttoned shirt and boxers. He tests the waters by placing a comforting hand on her back. “Is there anything I can do?”

“Just show yourself out please.” Kiara walks away from Harry’s hold, grabbing a scrunchie off her desk, and her purse. “I have to go.”

Harry doesn’t stop her. He knows that if he stops her he is gonna want to kiss her. Then he is gonna convince her to come back to bed with him, and he can’t do that. For her sake.

+++

“Are we not gonna talk about it?” Trina asks while she is driving her SUV.

Trina and Kiara usually take the subway together. It works out much cheaper for the both of them, but they can’t be late for work. Not during the Monday rush. Kiara is in the passenger seat pulling up her hair and frantically covering up a few hickies on her neck from last night. Trina is driving just a little bit above the speed limit, trying to make sure they both get there on time, and also worrying about her best friend who isn’t her usual bubbly self.

“There is nothing to talk about, other than I need some plan B,” Kiara replies dryly.

“You're joking.”

“Nope. Pass me your purse.”

Trina keeps one hand on the wheel and hands Kiara her purple purse from the back seat.

“Kiara you had sex with my best friend. Unprotected sex.”

“Exactly just sex,” Kiara shruged, digging up the pill from the bottom of Trina’s bag. “And I’m your best friend!”

“You are both my best friends!” Trina argued. “You know the poor boy actually likes you right?”

Kiara rolls her eyes. “Did he tell you that?”

“Yes! Actually, he did! More than once!”

“He is lying. I’m just a normal broke student. And him? He is a fucking rich man but he looks like a literal greek god! Trina you know I googled him. His past girlfriends are models! White, skinny blonde models. I’m not white, skinny, or blonde!”

“He was a party boy in the past!” Trina retorts. “He likes you, okay? He just has trouble communicating his feelings. I know you like him too. You just have this strange idea in your head that you are not good enough for him! Which is ridiculous.”

“It's whatever,” Kiara huffs, pooping the pill in her mouth and swallowing it, “It was a hook-up. A simple one night stand.”

“It’s okay to want something more Kiara.”

“He doesn’t want something more! It's so painfully obvious,” Kiara throws her hands up in the air.

Trina knows how stubborn her best friend is. It's why they get along so well. They both have this hot headed temperament. However, Kiara never really likes to give herself time to relax. She likes to be busy but it is clearly taking a toll on her mental health.

“Let me take you out drinking after work.”

Kiara turned her head towards her friend and smiled. “Thank you. Now we are speaking my language.”

+++

While Kiara’s working, a part of her secretly wishes that Harry would show up for his americano. She is trying her hardest to convince herself that he is not worth her energy or time, but the sex is still fresh in her mind and it doesn’t help that her body is showing evidence of what took place last night.

There is still that dull satisfying ache between her legs, the sound of Harry calling her a dirty whore plays on rewind all day. She is practically daydreaming about having sex with Harry again while making coffee.

Harry was the first man to meet her needs in that manner. Sure she has cum during sex a couple times, but it wasn’t anything mindblowing. In fact her orgasms were usually underwhelming, but with Harry he knew what he was doing. His dominance was a complete turn on.

And sure Kiara could be fuck buddies with Harry. But she thinks she deserves a little more than just casual hookups. She wants a relationship because at the end of the day, she wants to build a family. A family that makes up for her broken one.

Kiara has sat down and contemplated this before. Is it inherently selfish to want to fix her childhood trauma with a family of her own, but fuck. Can you really blame her?

+++

When Kiara gets home she quickly changes into a simple black dress. It hugs her curves nicely and it's the dress she usually pulls out when she used to go clubbing with Trina (which has come to a halt because of her pregnancy).

The subway ride to the club is filled with laughter and Trina having to help Kiara actually get on and off the train (because she pregamed at the apartment).

Once they got to the club, Trina walks up to the front of the line with Kiara.

The bouncer's eyes lit up as soon as he saw Trina, “Hi Trina. Umm, should I tell Harry you are here? James is also here too. I can let him know as well.”

“Harry is here?” Kiara questions.

Trina whispers in her ear, “Yes, this is his club.”

“I’m gonna need more drinks if I have to look at his stupid face again.”

Trina playfully rolls her eyes, “Yes, you can let James and Harry know we are both here.”

The bouncer pulls out his walkie talkie and opens the door for Trina and Kiara.

Kiara supports herself on Trina’s arm as they walk into the club, “You didn’t tell me we were going to Harry’s club?”

“I know, I thought you might put up a fight about it.”

She probably would have put up a fight about it, however she wouldn’t actually mind seeing Harry's stupid, beautiful looking face again.

The club itself is beautiful. The ceilings are covered with mirrors, and hanging down from them were stunning crystal chandeliers. The chairs are red, and glass tables are placed strategically in each booth. There is also a bar with some red stools, and a huge red door near it.

“What’s back there?” Kiara asks.

“The strip club. But we don't need to go over there. C’mon you wanted some wine, didn’t you?”

Trina and Kiara made their way to the bar and a heavily tattooed girl with a name tag that says Drew is working on the opposite side of the counter mixing drinks.

“Hey, Trina! What are you doing here? You can’t drink.”

“It’s for my friend, Kiara.” Trina gestures to her Kiara, who drunkenly waves back at Drew “She will take some wine, something sweet. I’ll just have some sprite”

Drew grabs a wine glass and puts it on the table before walking away. “Coming right up”

“James is that new guy you are seeing, right?”

“Yes. He works for Harry.”

Kiara has heard Trina mention James on multiple occasions. She even thinks he has come to the cafe a couple of times for lunch, but Kiara can’t put a name to the face. She is unsure if Trina and James are dating, but she is not sure how far she should pry. She does briefly remember Trina telling her that James does not care about Trina being pregnant. In fact Trina told her one day during their thirty minute break at work that James is just happy to be a part of Trina’s family.

“Mhmm. So Harry owns this club?” Kiara asks, taking a sip from her wine that Drew provided for her.

“Yeah. He owns a few more too. I believe it's a family business or something?”

Kiara sighs before downing the rest of her wine. “Just eat the fucking rich already.”

“Kiara? Trina?”

Kiara spins around on her chair, holding up her second glass of wine that Drew had given her and made eye contact with Harry.

He looks breathtaking. Hair neatly combed out of his face, tailored suit, ring decorated fingers that Kiara thought was repulsive, but now she can't stop thinking about how they feel against her heat.

“Trina, it's Wednesday,” Harry sternly told her, pressing two fingers to the bridge of his nose, slowly breathing in and out, trying not to lose his temper at his best friend.

“Are you not happy to see me?” Kiara says, standing up. She almost trips on her heels but Harry grabs her arm.

Kiara places her hand on Harry’s cheek. “I know you have to be happy to see me. You don’t fuck someone like that unless you hate them or love them. And who could hate me?”

“Okay!” Trina chippers up, grabbing her friend and bringing her back to the barstool. “Maybe we should get some water in you, okay?”

Harry is flustered because way too much is happening at once. Harry has told Trina multiple times that Wednesdays are not a good time to show up at the club. He has his meetings on Wednesday, and dangerous people are always floating in and out of the club talking business with Harry. He just wants to keep Trina and Kiara safe.

“Drew put all their drinks on my tab,” he tells the dark-haired bartender. “Trina, did you drive here?”

“No, we took the subway,” Trina answered.

Harry sighed frustratingly. “Okay. I'll take you two home. Just don’t leave here until I come get you.”

“Harry,” Trina starts. “I'm sure we will be fine. It’s not that big of a deal. James is here anyways--”

“Trina please.”

It's the crack in Harry's voice that caused Kiara to stop drinking her wine and look up at him.

Trina shoots Harry a look of sympathy. “Okay fine. We will stay here until you're done.”

Harry exhales the air he was holding in, a nervous habit he is still trying to break. “Okay. I will be done soon.”

“What's got his panties in a twist?” Kiara snorts as Harry walks away.

“I’m not sure actually,” Trina responds. “He is always stressed at work. I’ve been trying to get him to take a break for ages, but pulling that man away from his job is an impossible task.”

“He always seems so tense.”

Trina laughs, “Yeah maybe you can help him with that.”

“Well I see you have been helping his fellow associate...James.” Kiara wiggles her eyebrows at Trina.

Trina dramatically sighs. “Don’t even get me started on him.”

“What? I thought things were going great!”

“They are!” Trina assures Kiara. “But I’m still not sure what he wants. I’m pregnant and thirty. I really don’t want to fool around anymore. I want to settle down. The baby is coming soon and I won't have time for hookups and flings. He says he doesn’t mind that I’m pregnant, but he hasn’t said he wants a relationship with me.”

“Why don’t you just be upfront with him and ask?”

“Because I don’t want to scare him off!”

“You deserve someone who is upfront with their feelings, Trina. You are never gonna know until you ask.”

Trina sticks her index finger in Kiara’s face. “I’m not doing shit until you figure out what's going on with you and Harry.”

“Fine I’ll admit. The dick is good.”

Trina squealed. “I knew it, you filthy whore!”

“I'm just a little nervous. What if he is just hooking up with me for some weird black girl fetish? What if he is a racist?”

“I can tell you that's not Harry.”

“Am I ready for this?”

Trina takes a sip of her sprite. “I dunno. You know the answer to that question, not me.”

“Well I don’t know, and you don’t know. So that's my cue to keep drinking.”

Trina rolls her eyes and is about to tell Drew that this will be Kiara’s last glass of red wine until she makes eye contact with a man walking towards them.

“Fuck,” Trina grabs her purse then grabbed Kiara’s wrist. “Don’t talk to him okay? Just don’t look at him and maybe he will go away--”

“Trina... Haven’t seen you in a while.” The man's voice is heavy and dark. When Kiara looked up at him the first thing she noticed is that he is extremely well dressed, with a bling out watch on his wrist. “Who is the lovely lady you brought with you?”

“Leave her alone Dorian.” Trina says.

“What's your name?” The man reaches out to touch Kiara’s lower back but she flinches away.

“Don't touch me! Who do you think you are?”

He raises an eyebrow at her. “Feisty. Pretty too. You are one of Harry’s girls?”

“Excuse me? One of whose girls?”

“Are you not a dancer for the club?” the man asks in a condescending town that sets Kiara off.

“Oh hell no. You know damn well I’m clearly not stripping so what is it that you want from me?”

Trina leans into Kiara’s ear. “Kiara please leave it alone,” She grabs her wrist but Kiara quickly pulls it out of her grasp. “Let's just go.”

“No, let the girl talk Trina. She has quite a mouth on her anyway. Maybe she can put it to a much better use.”

Slap

Kiara’s hand connects with Dorian’s face before Trina could stop her. Trina knows her friend has a temper but so does Dorian. The slap slightly echoes over the music and gains a few people's attention including Drew, who stops mixing her drink and keeps her eyes on Dorian, who clenches his jaw and fixes his suit on his shoulders, trying to regain his composure.

“You shouldn’t have done that,” he mutters quietly.

“And what the fuck are you gonna… Ow!” Dorian roughly grabs Kiara wrist and drags her towards him.

He holds her hand above her head. “You don’t know who you are messing with. Do I need to show you?”

“Are you out of your fucking mind?” Kiara begins to squirm. “Let go of me before I kick you in the crotch--”

“Hmmmm. Maybe I should teach you a lesson. Don’t think Harry would mind if I borrowed one of his girls.”

“Refer to me as one of Harry’s girls one more time and I will do more than just slap you.”

“Dorian. Let her go.” Kiara’s eyes float from the man holding her wrist to Harry who is stalking up to her with a man right next to him. His voice was deep and assertive. Something Kiara never thought Harry to be other than when he was in bed.

Dorian lets Kiara’s wrist go and she stumbles back a bit towards Trina.

“Harry!” Dorian loudly greets. “I was just telling one of your whores she needs to watch that mouth of hers.”

“She is not a dancer, Dorian.”

“Oh, is she not? Such a shame,” Dorians eyes shamelessly rake Kiara up and down. “With a body like that I’m sure she could attract some clients for you.”

Kiara launches at Dornian but Harry is quick to grab her this time pulling her into his chest.

“Behave. Please,” he whispers in her ear.

“Dorian, you need to go.”

“Harry, you know better than that. Came here for my money. Come here every Wednesday to get my payment.”

“Well, you're not getting it today. Come by tomorrow.”

“Funny you say that since you know the history between me and your father--”

“I don't give a fuck about the history between you and my father!” Harry seethes stepping closer to Dorian. “You don’t see him here do you? I made you a deal. You will get your money, just not tonight. You don’t get to threaten my friends and then just demand money.”

“You don’t want to test me boy--”

“No, you don't want to test me. Not tonight. Leave.”

Dorian smirks at Harry before raising his hands up in defeat. “I’ll be here tomorrow. If you don’t have my money there will be problems.”

Harry watches Dorian walk fully out the door before turning to Trina and Kiara. “Both of you. My car now.”

“What just happened?” Kiara questions.

“Trina just take her to the car.”

+++

The car ride back to Kiara’s apartment is silent. Kiara sits in the back confused as to why Trina and Harry kept whispering to each other. A whole conversation is happening and Kiara’s trying to keep up, but she can only get bits and pieces of what the two are saying.

“I might be still drunk but I can hear you know.” That is a lie.

Harry’s eyes glance up to the rear view mirror. “Are you okay Kiara? He didn’t hurt you right?”

“No but I did hurt him. Slapped him. And if you didn’t come and interrupt I was about to kick him in the balls.” Kiara hiccups at the end of her sentence.

“She is right,” Trina agrees. “She is more of a fighter than she leads on to be.”

“Exactly!” Kiara yells. “So if you would have given me the chance I would have fucked him up.”

Harry, who was clenching his hand at the wheel during the whole drive, lets go and smiles. “I believe you Kiara.”

+++

Harry makes sure to walk Trina into her apartment safely, before helping Kiara to hers which was a challenge in itself because she can’t even walk in a straight line.

“Woah,” Harry says, wrapping his strong arms around Kiara’s waist trying to keep her balance. “How about you sit down on the bed?”

Harry helps Kiara walk into her bedroom and he slowly sits her down on her bed. Her hair is completely ruined, her dress slightly bunched up at her hips and her lips gloss slightly smudged. Harry thinks she looks beautiful. He is staring a little too long before he realizes he should help her take off her heels.

He gets down on one knee and his fingers begin to work on the claps of Kiara’s heels until she wraps her leg around Harry’s neck and pulls him closer to her thigh.

“Wine makes me horny.”

“I know,” Harry pushes himself away from her, no matter how tempting she looks, and goes back to undoing her heels. “But I think it would be smart if I get you to bed.”

“Why was that guy asking you for money?”

“Asking me anything but that.”

“Okay. Did you mean it?”

Harry slides one heel off her foot and looks up at her. “Mean what?”

“When we met.” He grabs Kiara’s other foot. “You said I was pretty. You meant it?”

Harry is silent for a couple seconds, his voice low. “Of course. Why would I be lying about that?”

Kiara shrugs as Harry glides her shoe off. “Guys are assholes. Well most guys are.”

“Mhmm. Where can I find some clothes for you?”

“Top drawer.” Kiara points at her dresser right in front of her bed. Harry walks over to get some clothes and places them on the side of her bed. “When I moved here I hooked up with this one guy from my class. I thought there was something going on between us ya know? He was nice at first. So I was gonna ask him if he wanted to go on a date because well, at that point we were hooking up. Turns out he had a girlfriend.”

“Sounds like a dick. Can I unzip your dress?”

Kiara nods her head and stands up hastily, turning around so her back is facing Harry. “I feel like I’m never good enough to be the girlfriend.” Harry listens closely as he zips Kiara’s dress slowly. Her delicate skin has goosebumps on it. When he gets all the way down to the top of her butt he pushes the dress off her shoulders, and allows her to step out of it.

“I’m good enough to hook up with. But never good enough to meet the parents or keep around longer than a couple weeks.” She turns around to face Harry, and grabs the shirt he picked out for her, throwing it over her head, and ignoring the pair of sweats he brought her, opting to stay in her underwear.

“So do you find me pretty in a fuckable way? Or do you find me pretty enough to keep me around longer than a few weeks?”

“Do you want me to answer that? Because you are really drunk, and my goal isn’t to scare you off.”

“Yes please,” she hiccups. “If you want to fuck around lets just be up front about it. Think I’ve gotten my hopes up about too many guys and I just wanna know.”

“Well I always think it's time for me to settle down,” Harry explains to her. “I’m twenty seven and my mum will not stop bugging me about it.” He laughs but Kiara stays silent. “I guess dating is just a bit confusing for me.”

“Confusing?” Kiara questions, tugging at the bottom of her shirt to make sure it is covering her butt.

“I really didn’t expect to be around this long. I’ve done a lot of stupid stuff Kiara, stuff that I really shouldn’t have done because it put my life at jeopardy. I think I never settled down because I didn’t think I was able to.”

“And what about now? Do you think you can settle down.”

Harry inhales and exhales quickly. “I’m not sure.”

“Okay.” Kiara turns her back to Harry and walks to her bed. She is definitely disappointed in his answer, but she knew she shouldn’t have gotten her hopes up.

“That doesn’t mean I don’t want to keep seeing you Kiara,” Harry quickly responds, breathlessly. “I want to take you to dinner.”

“You don’t have to pity me Harry-”

“I’m not pitying you,” Harry cuts her off. “I like you Kiara. You're a nice girl, beautiful too, and I mean that. My life can be… menacing to say the least. I like you enough not to drag you into my bullshit.”

Kiara tiredly rubs her eyes with the back of her hands. “What exactly is the bullshit?”

“It's my family business and my family… Well, they are interesting people.” That is all Harry could tell her without explicitly saying, “Instead of going into finance with my business degree from Columbia, I had to join my dad’s mafia and fix all his mistakes while he lives in a mansion, even though all I have ever wanted was to have absolutely nothing to do with the “‘family business.’”

“You seem like you don’t want to talk about it.” Kiara is now sitting with her knees up to her chest on her bed and Harry is towering over her small frame.

“No. I’m not a big fan of my past. But I want to get to know you, and you can get to know me. I’m busy with work, and sometimes it's hard for me to open up, but I’d really appreciate it if we took this slow.”

Kiara pouts. “So that means I can’t convince you to stay the night? Even if I suck you off?”

Harry smiles at her. “No.” He places a kiss on her forehead. “But I will come get you tomorrow at seven for dinner. Does that work?”

“Yes it does. Thanks for bringing me home tonight.”

“Anytime. I mean that.”

Kiara flips over to her side, hands resting underneath her head. “Drive safe.”

Harry is unsure about his life. In fact he is unsure about leaping into this with Kiara. He knows they aren’t dating, and that's good for him. He needs time to figure out his life. He knows if he wants to be in Kiara’s life, he has to pay off his fathers debt’s and get out of the mafia, or else he will never truly have the life he wants.

Right now, he can see a future with Kiara. He can see himself waking up next to her, making breakfast. He can see himself enjoying a domestic life with her.

He knows he can’t have that right now. But he sure is gonna work like hell for it. For her.

[soulmate-game]

Can you do a prompt of Marinette being the daughter of the Joker and Harley but Harley left him before Marinette was born and when Joker found out about his daughter He decided to kidnap Marinette so she can become like him (Ace chemicals) (Daminette)

Woot, my first ask in a while! Let’s see how I can do this oddly specific ask that reminds me of a fic that might actually exist but tbh I’ve read so many fanfics idk if my brain is remembering right

—*—*—*—*—*

Marinette knew Sabine and Tom weren’t her biological parents. She had known ever since she was eight, when her mother by blood visited her for the first time, sat her down, and explained everything. Including, but not limited to, her disastrously toxic past relationship, her new girlfriend, and her recent success with long term rehab (unofficial rehab that mostly consisted of illegal anti-hero actions, but hey if it worked it worked).

Marinette understood. Well no, she really didn’t since she was only eight, but she understood that her mom— that Harley— was genuine. She had always had a knack for emotions and telling when people were sincere or not. And Harley really was regretful about not being in her life beforehand, and was serious about wanting to be part of her life now that her own was mostly sorted out.

So Marinette was not surprised when Harley really did stick it out. When Harley cooed over Marinette copying her hairstyle to show her support of her biological mom, when Harley never failed to call at least once a week even if she was in jail for punching some asshole or another. Harley never stayed arrested long anymore, she was usually found to be on the right side of the moral scale more and more often so the police didn’t bother keeping her locked up anymore. Through the years, Marinette always looked forward to her mom’s calls. Looked forward to being lulled to sleep by one crazy story or another from her mother’s past. Everything was nice. Perfect, even, for a while.

A thump sounded from her balcony, one late night when Marinette was thirteen. Blinking, the dark haired girl furrowed her brows. Who would be on her balcony? Cautiously walking towards the trap door leading to it, grasping her metal pencil holder as a weapon (she remembered all of her Mom’s stories about break-ins and random attacks back in Gotham), the teen strained her ears. Akuma attacks were only a few months old now, but she had already become in high alert for any sign of Hawkmoth or his victims. As per usual, Marinette’s paranoia began to kick in. Did Hawkmoth already figure her out? Was he here for her earrings? Would she be able to fight him?

She gently pushed up the trap door, catching a glimpse of black leather. Huh? Marinette narrowed her eyes, confused. Was it Chat? He should have been on patrol, on the other side of the city. What was he doing visiting her?

Suddenly the trap door yanked the rest of the way open, making Marinette yelp as the handle for it rugged away from her fingers. And there, backlit by the pure blue-white moonlight, was Not Chat Noir. It was Catwoman, in all her skintight black leather glory, grinning at her before pushing her cat-eye goggles up to the top of her head and crouching down by the trap door’s entrance, balancing only on the pads of her feet.

“Well hello there~” the woman purred. “So you’re the cute little kitten Harley is so secretive about. Nice to finally meet you,” the woman held out a hand, sending Marinette a sweet, if mysterious, smile. For a while, the pigtailed girl only stared before a squeal of excitement left her throat, leaving very little room for any doubt as to her bloodline. A large smile curled over Marinette’s lips, leaving her beaming widely at the catlike woman on her balcony.

“Auntie Selina! Mom’s told me so much about you! Come in, come in, come in! I’ll sneak some macaroons up for you. Or do you prefer croissants? What’s your favorite flavor? Are you really dating Batman? Oh my goodness, that necklace is so lovely! Did you steal it?”

Selina could only chuckle fondly at the word vomit, letting the smaller girl drag her down the trap door and into her very… pink room. Looking around, Selina was once again slapped with just how similar this kid was to her outgoing friend. Marinette clearly had no shame in indulging in the things she liked, such as the color pink and anything regarding fashion. But there were other things amongst the girliness of the room, like the posters of Jagged Stone and the training dummy half-sticking out of her closet door. There were a few ornamental knives hung up behind her computer, seemingly just for decoration although Selina could see that they were definitely battle ready and sharpened. A small mallet, clearly a miniature replica of her mother’s own signature weapon, leaned up against the side of the girl’s laundry basket. But then there was Marinette’s mannequin, which was surrounded by meticulously cut pieces of cloth and had other pieces pinned to it strategically. Marinette clearly had the same professionalism and love for her chosen career that had so completely defined Harley in the Time Before Joker. The same genius intellect hiding in those deceptively cheerful bluebell eyes. And for the first time, though not for the last to be sure, Selina found herself thoroughly relieved that it seemed Marinette had inherited very little from her father.

Except, as she would learn from stories Harley told her later, an apparent affinity for chaos.

“I’m not that picky, kitten. But I’m not that hungry, so don’t go too out of your way,” Selina decided to just react the same way she did with Harley’s rambles, and answer one question at a time. “Also, I am actually dating Bruce Wayne. But, if you promise not to tell anyone—“ she waited for Marinette’s eager nod before continuing casually, “— the two are maybe not as mutually exclusive as many think,” Selina finished with a conspiratorial wink. “No, I actually did not steal this necklace. Bruce has been adamant in trying to curb me of my thieving habit by buying me almost everything I so much as glance at sideways. It’s sweet. Naive, because I like stealing for the fun of it, but sweet.”

Marinette giggled, bouncing in place happily. She loved a bit of innocent gossip like this. “Is Momma Ivy ever gonna visit? I don’t think Mom told her much about me yet, and I still gotta give her the shovel talk!” the fierce look that overcame Marinette’s face made Selina laugh again. Oh yes, definitely her mother’s daughter.

“Pam has been trying to sneak over, but the laws regarding Metahumans in Paris suddenly got much stricter a few months back and have caused some problems. You wouldn’t happen to know what happened, would you?” Selina did not miss when her seemingly innocent question caused her niece to close off almost instantly. Bluebell eyes took on a familiar guardedness, and scanned her with the same soul-searching intensity that Harley had when she was channeling her Psychiatrist side. Selina found herself in a slightly concerning spot though—

Because she couldn’t predict Marinette at all. She was left to simply stand there as Marinette searched for some unidentifiable thing in her eyes, completely unable to read the younger girl’s face and with no idea of what to expect. The side effect of having chaos so thoroughly entwined in both of her biological parents, she supposed.

“Nope, no idea.”

Selina knew that was a lie, but knew equally as well that she would not be getting a better answer anytime soon. So, she let it go and the two of them once again dipped into innocent chatter.

Later that night, when Selina left and the sun threatened to rise at any minute, Tikki flew up from her hiding spot under Marinette’s pillow to land on her holder’s shoulder. Marinette giggled and looked over at her little friend.

“Tikki?”

“Yes, Mari?”

“Why was I chosen to be your holder?” She asked suddenly, flopping back into her bed and staring at her ceiling. The little goddess hummed, smiling knowingly before flying down to cuddle in the crook of Marinette’s neck.

“Because you are born from luck itself. Even when bad things happen, you have the luck and determination to get out just fine, and stronger than before. And despite the destruction and anarchy in your blood, you have the willpower to reign it in and keep control of yourself. That’s all order really is, Marinette. The decision to take all the chaos and madness around us, and make it make sense. Make it do something good. And that’s a large part of who you are, I could feel it in your soul the moment we first met.”

Marinette closed her eyes, biting the inside of her cheek. “What if I lose control?”

“... You’ll just have to get it back. It’ll be hard, but as long as you have people to support you, you will be able to do it. You aren’t evil, Marinette,” the small God seemed to sense the true question her holder was asking, and did her best to soothe the doubt the girl felt. “Just remember the reasons you fight against chaos. Remember everyone you love, and you’ll be okay. And you have me, I’ll always help you.”

“... thank you, Tikki.”

—*—*—*—*—*

“He’s going to find out, Mom.”

“No he won’t, don’t be silly! I’ve been very careful about hiding you from him, Nettie-pie.”

“Mom… I just have a bad feeling. I don’t think we can hide who I am from him. If he sees me, I think he’ll know.”

The phone went silent.

“If he hurts you, I’ll kill him. If I was crazy about him, Sugar, then I’m head over heels for you. Not even he can stop me from caving his skull in if he tries his usual tricks with you.”

“... My plane leaves soon, I’ll talk to you when I land. And mom?”

“Yeah, honeycake?”

“I love you.”

—*—*—*—*—*

It was uncanny just how often Marinette’s hunches were right. Her intuition was something to behold, truly, because it only took three days in Gotham before Joker snatched her right out of her room at Harley and Ivy’s apartment. At least Marinette had sixteen by then, so she had had enough experience as a hero in Paris and with generally unpredictable situations and people who were absolutely nuts for her to not immediately panic. Too much, anyway.

Because there was definitely a little panic there.

See, Marinette knew herself inside out by then. After her own battle with her toxic feelings towards Adrien and doing her best to heal from those before she turned out like her mom, she knew she was by no means mentally indestructible. Mental illness ran the high risk of being inherited, and Marinette was well aware that her own personality was scarily similar to her mother’s at times. She got attached quickly, felt affection and love for others very strongly and, as she found with Adrien, could easily become obsessive if she didn’t watch herself. At least Harley was the perfect person to help with that, and Marinette was serious about helping herself too. She did everything she could to keep an eye on her mental health and keep her behavior in check so she didn’t do anything too unhealthy with her relationships again.

But she knew, she knew she had a soft spot for family. She got attached too easily. And being in the same room as her biological father, despite being tied up by her hands and feet and knowing just how many unforgivable things he had done in his life, Marinette felt vulnerable. She didn’t want to hurt him, despite everything. She still loved him, despite every reason not to, despite her first meeting with him being with him shoving chloroform over her face and hogtying her to a metal chain dangling over a vat of acid.

Geez, she’d need more than just her mom as a therapist after this for sure. Even if her mom had a PH.D, Marinette felt like she’d need several psychiatrists to sort through her emotional turmoil right then and make sense of any of it.

Marinette licked her lips, aware that the only kindness that Joker gave his daughter was sparing her from the discomfort of being gagged.

“Don’t,” Marinette said, surprising herself with the amount of steel she was able to put into her voice. Somehow, she managed to make the single word sound more like an order than a plead. “Joker, put me—“

“Ah-Ah-Ah!” The clown walked over, tutting and waving his finger in the air in almost playful admonishment. He gave her a dramatically fake pout. “Don’t you know it’s disrespectful to refer to your father by his first name?” Neither of them mentioned that Joker was definitely not his real name. They both knew the point was moot. “Say it with me now— ‘Daddy dearest, I am more than willing to be dunked in acid for you,’ go ahead, say it.”

Marinette’s jaw clenched. Familial love or not, she would not tolerate being ridiculed like that. She dealt with enough ridicule when she was fourteen and fifteen during school, before she put Liar Rossi in her place. She had spent the past three years as a hero in charge of the war against Hawkmoth, in charge of protecting all of Paris from an emotional terrorist.

And gee, wasn’t that what Joker was, too? Sure, he was a terrorist in the classic meaning of the word as well, but he was nothing if not a skilled manipulator. He knew the human mind just as well as Harley or any other psychiatrist did, he just used his knowledge for different means. He had emotionally abused Harley for years, he emotionally abused and manipulated people all across gotham on a daily basis. He was just another Hawkmoth, but with more physical violence in place of magic.

With these thoughts strengthening her resolve, Marinette narrowed her eyes at the man who donated half of her DNA. She let her anger boil into her irises, hitting him with one of the few traits she knew she inherited from him.

Her ability to intimidate others on the tip of a hat.

“No,” she growled back at him. She took a deep breath. It had taken her a while, but she refused to be ashamed of who she was regardless of her blood relation. She would have no problem using the very things she inherited from Joker against him. She might have gotten most of Harley’s personality, she might have inherited her mother’s habit of falling in love hard, fast, and obsessively, but she also had Joker’s defiance. His bone-deep inability to be stopped from doing exactly whatever the fuck he wanted.

And then, there were Marinette’s own traits. The ones that were completely her own, developed over her life organically. Like her refusal to bow down to bullies, her creativity, her ability to take even the most chaotic situation and see some sort of balance and sanity in it that she could use to her advantage.

That she WOULD use to her advantage. The shadows she saw move out of the corner of her eye gave her the chance to do exactly that, she just needed to buy a few more seconds. Just a few more seconds.

“Excuse me?” Joker growled right back, his own intimidation, honed over more years than Marinette had been alive and thus much more potent than her own, reading its ugly head as he stalked towards her. His face was pulled down into an ugly snarl, his shoulders tensed and back straight as he glared right at her. From his spot on the metal walkway, he was easily able to reach over the railing and grab her chin in one pale, viciously strong hand. “I think you’re misunderstanding something here, little Marionette. I’m your father. Half of your life came directly from ME. That makes you my puppet. You exist to follow my orders,” his right grip suddenly let go, leaving behind the beginnings of a bruise as his entire demeanor changed from angry to cheerful. He spread his arms as if gesturing to the whole chemical plant victoriously, and an unnaturally large smile curved over his lips and bared yellowing teeth at her. “But that’s okay. I’ll forgive you this time, you haven’t learned any better yet. That’s why we’re here. We need to cleanse you of all those icky bad habits you’ve learned up until now, all you need is a little,” he bounced in place with a wicked smirk to illustrate his next words— “jumpstart. A little acid goes a long way to enlightenment you know, you’ll see my side of things in no time. And with my blood in you, you’ll make a better sidekick than that idiot Harley ever did. I can sense it, you’ve got a real talent for Chaos in you, it’s exciting, Heheeeheheee! Now then, we should probably speed things along before our family reunion is cut short. Hang in there, my little Marionette,” the man actually had the gall to spin in place while humming a tune cheerfully before all but dancing over to the lever that held Marinette’s length of chain in the air over the vat of chemicals below her. “Everything will clear up in that little head of yours in just a second!”

There! Right as Joker pulled the switch to lower her into the bubbling vat underneath her, Marinette was able to finish untying her hands. She couldn’t contain a small yelp as gravity flung her body forward, leaving her upside down on the chain for a brief moment. That was when the chain started lowering rapidly, and Marinette was barely able to rip the rope off of her ankles in time to swing off of it and onto the metal walkway that came up right next to the giant metal container of liquid death and insanity. Joker had barely enough time to shout in rage before the windows near the ceiling shattered, admitting the city’s vigilantes themselves. Batman, Nightwing, Red Robin, Red Hood, Robin, and evening Black Bat all landed on the same metal platform above Marinette’s head that Joker was still on, buying the teen time to start running. But she didn’t go towards the exit right away, instead heading right up the stairs into the thick of the fight. Robin briefly separated from where Joker was managing to hold his own, goons flooding from side doors to inhibit the heroes in their attempt to bring their boss down.

The katana-using vigilante kept one eye on Marinette the whole time, suspicious of why the girl would come back up if not to help her father. But that wasn’t what she did, instead she flipped and kicked and punched her way through the quickly growing sea of Joker thugs until she reached a small pink purse that had been abandoned near the lever that had nearly sent her into liquid insanity. Three thugs surrounded her right as she snatched the purse up and slung it over her shoulder, but Robin barely had the chance to head over before she was heaving the men, who were all easily three times her size, over her shoulder and was slamming elbows into soft spots and the side of her hand into pressure points. By the time Robin got to her side, all three men were unconscious and bound to wake up in utter agony.

Marinette glanced up, getting ready to haul Robin over her shoulder as well before she realized who he was. She let her shoulders relax just a tick, sighing in relief before returning her eyes to scanning their surroundings. She shot him a brief grin.

“Good thing my adoptive mother, Mom, Momma Ivy, and Auntie Selina all made sure I knew how to take down a small army on my own, huh?” She asked rhetorically before they were both unceremoniously dragged back into the giant brawl.

—*—*—*—*—*

“Nettie-pie!”

“Marigold!”

Harley and Pamela Quinzel-Isley shoved down anyone and everyone who dared block their direct path to their daughter. The girl of the hour stood next to the bat clan, a shock blanket held tightly around her shoulders as she did her best to finish her statement to both the vigilantes and Commissioner Gordon.

“You untied yourself… from a ship-grade knot in high quality rope… with a phone charm?” They heard Gordon ask incredulously, to which Marinette could only give a lopsided smile. That was when her mom and stepmom crashed into her, enveloping her in a nearly suffocating hug.

“Gah— mom— momma Ivy—“ Marinette flailed in their arms for a bit before finally getting her head free and continuing her statement as if she didn’t have two of the most dangerous women in the city still giving her a bone crushing hug. “That’s better. Yes, Commissioner. You see, I realized when I was in the car with Joker, while I was pretending to still be unconscious, that one of the charms on my phone had pretty sharp corners that I could use like a serrated edge if I had enough time. So I carefully detached it from my phone, and held it in my palm. It took almost an hour, but once Joker noticed I was awake I kept him talking so that he didn’t notice what I was doing even as he tied me up to that chain. Really, it’s just lucky that I was able to get it worn down in time,” Marinette rubbed the back of her neck with a nervous chuckle. “But regardless, I think Batman and his partners,” she nodded to the listening vigilantes just to the side of her. “Were close enough that I would have been caught anyway, I just wanted to make sure they had less work to do. The sooner I freed myself, the sooner ‘Daddy Dearest,’” she grimaced as she mockingly used the same term Joker had tried to get her to say earlier that night. “Could go back behind bars where he belongs.”

“Oh my little Nettie-cake,” Harley cried, finally pulling back from the hug long enough to wipe her cheeks. It was clear that she had been crying for a while, and her colorful pigtails were mussed and tangled from where she must have been tugging on them in worry. “You were right. I’m so sorry, I never should have let you come to Gotham when I knew he was out of Arkham.”

Marinette was quick to shake her head frantically, pulling her arms out of Ivy’s hold so she could grasp Harley’s shoulders firmly. “No. No, Mom, I’m fine! And besides, we knew I couldn’t stay secret forever. I really like staying with you and Momma Ivy! Everything turned out fine though, and he’s headed back to Arkham. It’s okay.”

“It’s not okay, Nettle,” Pam argued, distracting herself by running her hands through Marinette’s bangs. She had only known the girl for two years, but that was more than long enough for her to consider the teenager as her own. “He took you right out from under our noses. You were supposed to be safe in our home, and he still got to you. That’s not okay. We weren’t able to protect you like we should have been. Maybe you should go back to Paris early.”

“What?! No way!” Marinette argued, eyes wide. “This is the first time I’ve been able to ever visit you guys in Gotham, I’m not letting some psycho sperm donor keep me from enjoying time with my family! I came here knowing full well that it was dangerous. I’m not gonna just run away after one bad experience.”

Harley snorted, and then devolved into uncontrollable giggles. “Heh— psycho sperm donor. Good one, sugar!”

Marinette smiled and rolled her eyes good naturedly at her mom’s usual immature antics. Seeing as Gordon had walked away muttering to himself a short while ago, Marinette pulled herself the rest of the way away from her moms and turned to the vigilantes. Without a second’s pause, she bowed to them just like her Maman Sabine taught her.

“Thank you for helping save me. I know it’s probably a shock that I’ve been kept secret from you guys all this time, but I hope you don’t lump me in with the likes of the green-haired half of my DNA. I’m staying with my Moms in their apartment, if you guys decide to patrol by our place like I suspect, I’ll leave some baked goods and coffee out for you on our patio. It’s the least I can do for you all after tonight. And don’t be too hard on Auntie Selina. Me and Mom swore her to secrecy, even from you guys.”

Batman jerked a little at the mention of Catwoman’s real name, jaw twitching for a second. Behind his cowl, his eyes narrowed. Marinette laughed, easily reading his body language and expression.

“She never told me who you are, but she didn’t exactly hide it either. It was easy to put the last pieces together on my own. But don’t worry, SHE swore me to secrecy too. I won’t tell anyone.

“How the hell are you related to the Laughing Asswipe from Hell?” Red Hood blurted out, his confusion clear even from behind his hideous helmet. Marinette burst into giggles, and both Pamela and Harley smiled knowingly.

“Mom gave me up for adoption when I was born, so I spent my whole life in Paris up until now,” she admitted. “Mom didn’t visit me for the first time until I was eight, and she and my adoptive parents are so awesome that it must’ve suffocated the worst traits from his DNA before they had a chance to develop,” she guessed out loud with a good natured smile.

Batman grunted. Marinette knew that one run-in wasn’t enough for them to trust her. After all, she was still the biological daughter of their arch enemy. But she didn’t mind, she understood the caution even if she didn’t fully agree with it. They weren’t outright hostile, despite the fact that Robin had never stopped glaring at her since they fought back-to-back against the mob of thugs earlier. She could live with their suspicion, as long as they continued to not be outright rude or mean to her.

At least she could empathize with Adrien now, whenever she figured out how to break it to him that Hawkmoth was definitely Gabriel and couldn’t be anyone else. Hopefully she could help soften the blow for him a little.

Harley and Ivy were starting to herd Marinette towards their car and take her back home, where they could continue to smother her in care and make sure she didn’t have even a scratch on her, when Robin’s voice stopped them all in their tracks.

“You are a surprisingly capable combatant.”

Marinette froze, blinking in surprise for a second before turning to stare at Robin in shock. The rest of the Bat Clam was doing the same, nobody expecting Robin of all people to be the first to directly complement Marinette. He tutted, crossing his arms, but never moved his gaze away from Marinette’s eyes.

“But your form could use some work. Most of your style is incredibly improvised, which I can appreciate since you do it well, but you would benefit from more structure in your fighting. I will set up a time and place for us to spar. We start in two days, if you think you can handle it.”

It took a while for what Robin said to sink in, and another few seconds for Marinette to decipher what his semi-aggressive, order-phrased proposal really meant. And she smiled.

“It’s a date.”

—*—*—*—*—*

Woo! This started off a little rough, but I really like how it ended up! Thank you, Anon!

[chasing-classics]

Addicted to the Odds- Fezco x Reader

Pairing: Fezco x Reader

 Warning(s): Smut, mentions of drug addiction, angst, language

 Summary: You are an addict and it is indirectly Fez’s fault. Out of nowhere, your dealer refuses to sell to you anymore and you have a gut feeling Fez is the reason for it. You confront him and angst/smut ensues.

 ‘’What do you mean you don’t have any?’’ you all-but growled out from the screen door of your dealer’s run-down house.

 ‘’Like I said, ma. I don’t got any for you anymore,’’ he replied, taking a hit of his bong and refusing to look you in the eye.

 ‘’Nothing? OxyContin, fentanyl-‘’

 ‘’Nothing. Nada. Zip,’’ he cut you off.

 You huffed, narrowing your eyes as you shifted your weight to your right-hand side. You ran a hand through your hair, trying to keep a level head. For the past year-and-a-half you had been an addict. It all began when you attended a party with your best friend Cassie. She had just recently began seeing McKay and it was through one of his intense parties you met Fezco. The ginger-haired man caught your attention immediately. He was beautiful, in his own way. At the time, you had only dealt with weed and various fruity drinks. You were a good, kind-hearted girl. You did well in school and were well-liked by everyone. That was the thing about addiction; nobody ever strives to be an addict. It starts with one hit, then slowly crawls to another, then another, and another. You don’t realize you’re addicted until it’s too late, and by then the claws of addiction were already too deeply imbedded in your skin.

You wanted to let loose, have a good time. You wanted to fit into Fez’s world. ‘’Come on, Y/N get the stick out of your ass and live a little,’’ you remembered Nate Jacobs smirked down at you. That was the push you needed, you were embarrassed to admit. It sounded like a bad health class lecture, ‘’don’t give into peer pressure’’ and all that jazz. You remembered approaching Fez, his eyes trailing up and down your body with interest. That was the first night of the rest of your life as an addict. The moment you downed the OxyContin pill with a bottle of Hennessy, your life changed forever. All to get the attention of a boy who probably only saw you as another client. You ended up finding a different dealer because it became too difficult to continue going to Fez, who you had fallen for only to feel the sting of embarrassment when you realized he was never going to see you the same way you saw him. And that’s your story; became a fucking drug addict by the age of seventeen because you had a crush on a drug dealer who you had a handful of conversations with in the past nearly two years.

 ‘’Did Fez put you up to this?’’ you hissed. Your dealer’s silence was all the confirmation you needed.

 ‘’Fez! Open the door!’’ you yelled, banging on his front door.

 You knew Ashtray probably alerted his older brother of your arrival, but it didn’t stop you from marching to the front door. Every second that Fez took to answer the door felt like hours, sweat dripping down your body as the withdrawals were hitting you. Just when you were about to raise your fist to knock again, the door opened and the man in question was right in front of you. He towered over you, his green eyes taking you in and you could’ve kicked yourself for the butterflies you felt in your tummy.

 ‘’Y/n?’’ he questioned.

 ‘’Why did you do it? Cut off my supply?’’ you crossed your arms over your chest, your whole body fidgeting.

 ‘’I dunno what you’re talking about,’’ you could tell he was lying when he couldn’t look you in the eyes.

 ‘’Bullshit. You talked to my dealer, I know you did. Why?’’ you took a step towards him to the point if you puffed your chest up your breasts would brush against his chest.

 ‘’You need help, y/n,’’ he was about to head back inside when you forced your way in.

 ‘’You’re one to talk Fez! You sold me the drugs at McKay’s party! You got me into this life! God, I’m so fucking stupid,’’ you cried out, running your hands through your hair in frustration. You ceased and straightened yourself out, glaring at Fez.

‘’I wanted so badly to be in your life. For you to notice me,’’ you whimpered.

Fez stood in front of you, an unidentifiable expression on his face. He took a step towards you, reaching out for you only for you to take a step backwards. He nodded, taking in a shaky breath,

 ‘’I did notice you. Fuck, man. I noticed you the moment you walked into that party. You were full of life, but still shy. You brought this fucking light around you everywhere you went, ma. And when you came up to me to buy some pills, I wanted to say no. I should’ve said no. But I wanted an excuse to talk to you or see you again,’’ he confessed.

 You didn’t notice the tears until you felt them roll down your cheeks. You swiped them away, your heart beating furiously in your chest. You turned around and left, the sound of the screen door slamming ringing in your ears as you ran.

 Rehab took a lot out of you. You often questioned your decision to enter the facility, but the desire to retake control outweighed the desire to feel numb. 90 days felt like 90 years, but you were able to take the next step in your rehabilitation. Another three months passed and the light slowly but surely began to show in your eyes.

It had taken a lot of you, but when you were able to celebrate your twenty-first birthday with your old high school friends, it was all worth it.

 Cassie had convinced you to go out for one night. No drugs, only drinks if you were sure you could handle it. After two years sober, you were aware of your boundaries. You knew you could still go out and live a normal life, you just had to be careful in order to avoid a relapse. So here you were, celebrating your sobriety and your birthday. Maddy, Lexi, BB, and Kat were more than happy to come along and catch up. As you laughed and enjoyed your party, your face fell when your e/c hues locked with all-too familiar green ones. Fez was in the back of the club, talking to Rue and nursing his beer.

 You prayed you wouldn’t regret this, but you excused yourself from your friends and headed to the restroom. Thankfully, nobody else was in there as you leaned against the porcelain sink, staring deeply into your reflection. You sighed as your eyes analyzed every inch of you. You looked great, you felt great, so why did you feel so empty?

 The creak of the bathroom door didn’t cause you to look away, but the strong hands on your waist sure did. You jumped slightly until the smell of cologne and weed hit your nostrils.

 ‘’Fez,’’ you breathed quietly, suddenly becoming more self-conscious despite you looking like sex-in-high-heels.

 He didn’t respond, just pressed his face into the back of your neck. You felt the hardness that was his dick press into the small of your back. You sighed in content, his hands trailing up and down your exposed arms.

 ‘’I’m sorry,’’ he whispered. You blinked away the tears, shaking your head as he looked up so that your two reflections were looking at each other.

 ‘’Please,’’ you didn’t know what you were asking for, but Fezco did.

 He turned you around and slowly took in your face before capturing your lips in a long overdue kiss. It was Heaven and Hell, passion and sin, all together in that one kiss. The past four years replayed throughout your mental as you pulled him closer to you as your hands were on his chest and running through his shaved head. His hands gripped your waist as your tongues fought for dominance. You lost and moaned into his mouth when he nipped at your bottom lip before his tongue entered your mouth. The moan that erupted from his throat when you sucked on his tongue encouraged your hands to trail down and your hand to grip his hardened cock through his pants.

 That was all it took for him to pull away, shoving your lace panties down to your ankles and spread your legs as he pinned you against the bathroom wall. Anyone could have walked in and that thought alone caused you to become slick. Fez groaned when he pressed a calloused hand to cup your pussy.

 ‘’F-Fez,’’ you whined, hands going underneath his shirt to grip his shoulders and claw at his back.

 ‘’Fucking beautiful,’’ he breathed as he looked down at you.

 You didn’t even notice that he had taken his dick out of his pants until you felt the swollen head at your tight entrance. You looked up at Fez, engraving the look of pure desire and adoration on his face. He raised his eyebrows, as if asking one last time if this was ok. You nodded and couldn’t prevent the high-pitched whine that erupted from you as he entered you in one swift thrust. He grunted when he was fully sheathed in your tightness, hands gripping your thighs as you were pinned against the dingy walls of the restroom and impaled on his throbbing cock.

 ‘’Fez, please. Move I need to feel you,’’ you whimpered, fingernails clawing at his muscular back.

 ‘’Fuck baby,’’ he groaned as he slowly pulled back, only to snap his hips forward. Your cries fueled him, egging him on as he gained momentum. The sight of you, looking like something out of the cover of a magazine, taking his dick in this grimy bathroom in this shabby club. The fact that something so beautiful could want him, let alone cry out his name as he fucked into your tight pussy. The sight of his angry cock disappearing into your drenched folds. The revelation that you still loved him just as he still loved you. It was almost too good to be true.

 You moaned when one of his hands yanked down the front of your dress to release your tits so that he could watch them bounce from the force of his thrusts. You closed your eyes and threw your head against the wall when his mouth latched onto one of your breasts and began nipping and sucking at your bud. His thrusts were rough and unforgiving and you could hear the slaps of your skin echoing in the dimly lit room.

 ‘’You’re so tight for me, ma,’’ he groaned, his facial hair tickling the soft skin of your breasts.

 The tip of his thick manhood reached that special spot inside of you, causing you to cry out his name and clutch the back of his head. He focused on hitting that specific spot, succeeding over and over again. You could do nothing but moan out Fez’s name and hold onto him and take whatever he chose to give you. The feeling of being full of him and belonging to him was too much.

 ‘’I’m going to cum, Fez,’’ you panted, tears at the corner of your eyes as your walls began clamping around his thickness.

 ‘’Cum for me, mama. Milk my dick,’’ he grunted, hips pounding you into the wall. While one of his hands still held onto your thigh the other trailed to the side of your face and gently held your jaw, forcing you to look up into him as he took you, ravaged you. His dirty words and the strong grip on your face combined with the lust swirling in his beautiful green hues was too much. You came with a scream of his name, his thumb in your mouth muffling your cries only slightly as you felt your juices coat him and in between your thighs.

 ‘’I fucking love you,’’ he hissed, pressing his forehead against yours’ as he sloppily thrusted a few more times before you felt the warmth of his load crept up into the depths of your body.

 All you could do was hold each other; your legs wrapped around his waist. Your heels still on as his cum began dripping from your sore pussy. Eventually both of your breathing relaxed and you pressed a kiss to his lips. He kissed you back, looking down once more to watch his release drip out of you and his dick slowly slide out of you. He kissed you again before helping you down.

‘’I’m sorry,’’ he whispered.

You cupped his face with your hands, offering him a small smile.

 ‘’I know. Just hold me.’’

 You didn’t know what the future held for the two of you. You didn’t think a house with a white picket fence and two darling children was in your future with Fez, if you even had a future with him. The odds weren’t in your favor, but the same could’ve been said about the seventeen-year-old girl who was addicted to OxyContin and fentanyl. They said you wouldn’t make it to see your twenty-first birthday. The dusty clock that read 12:01 AM proved them all wrong. Maybe you and Fez could too.

[astriefer]

Let Me Kiss Your Bleedings Goodbye / Look Around And See How Much You Are Loved

Summary: Alastair just wants to listen to music in his room, but the world won't have it.

Word count: 5718

Warnings: alcohol, implied mental abuse, manipulation, toxic relationships, cursing, mentioned alcoholism, neglect, negative thoughts.

@littlx-songbxrd that one is for your birthday! You chose angst the other day so I just rolled with it-

Happy birthday!! You're an amazing, creative,talented and such a special friend! I'm glad I got to meet you ^-^

All Alastair asked for was to listen to music on his phone and mind his own business. But of course, the fates weren't happy unless Alastair has had a shitty day.

Cordelia knocked on his door politely. "Alastair?"

It was Saturday, so she had no reason to bother him. Lunch had already been served, and she was about to go out with her friends. So why come bother him now?

He made no move to unlock the door, and his annoying little sister repeated, "Alastair!" 

She started to slam her fists at the door like some sort of a madwoman, and Alastair groaned and tore himself from his bed. "What?" he hissed as his bedroom door flew wide open.

"Mâmân wants you downstairs," Cordelia answered, backing away slightly. If she heeded Alastairs's pissed mood, good. She interrupted in the middle of his favorite song. The call of reason would say it was because they were almost nose to nose, and she was repulsed of his closeness as any other sibling would, but he liked the first option better.

"And that you couldn't tell me through the door because?" he snarled, and Cordelia rolled her eyes. He glanced at her and noticed what she wore - one of her favorites clothes Lucie picked up for her a few months ago. He arched a perfect eyebrow at his sister."Is there some special occasion?"

Cordelia's cheeks flushed red, and she decisively didn't meet his eyes. "It's nothing. Just going out with some-- That's none of your business. You're so irking. Oof."

She exchanged to the annoyed-sibling-defense-system mid-sentence. It was Alastair's turn to roll his eyes so he didn't waste it. "Whatever. Go play dolls with Lucie." Closing the door behind him, he ambled down the staircase to the ground floor, ignoring his sister's protest. 

He entered the drawing-room, which he found deserted. All that laid there were a few magazines Cordelia left on the table and an empty cup of coffee. He didn't stall to wonder who besides him drank coffee in the house since his mother was pregnant - and it was unhealthy for the baby - and Cordelia didn't like it. He headed to the dining room, finding his mother seated on one of the dinner table's seats. In front of her, seemingly a pristine-white unopened letter.

"Dearling," Sona smiled at her son, the light not reaching her eyes. "How are you doing?"

"I'm fine," he answered. He perched on the chair next to hers and took one of the pastries Risa brought the previous day that laid in a basket. She would occasionally check on Sona and them. Their aunt had assisted them in any possible way was able to in the past few months. And even before that, she volunteered to do things Alastair wished she wouldn't. She once contacted James Herondale, Cordelia's boyfriend, to give him  the talk . It was hilarious as much as it was terrifying because while Risa picked fundamental English words, she had him by the arm to help her translate. And Holly Lord in the sky, he couldn't look James in the face for a month.

Sona just studied him for a few moments, before her features softened. "You always so self-reliant." she shook her head. "I'm sorry. You don't need your mother to nag you."

Alastair inclined toward her, squinting. "Mom, I never said that."

"You seem peeved at me," she adjusted her deep green roosari - it matched the wide yellow and green dress she wore - before resting her eyes on the letter. "I would think it has something to do with puberty if I didn't have a second teenager in the house."

"I'm not angry at you." Alastair scoffed.

"Alright," Sona said.

"Are Cordelia and I in a competition of who is the worst teenager? Well - at least I'm on the lead. Cordelia should level up her game."

"Dear, it's not it," Sona lifted both her hands, like in a plea, before she dropped them on the table again. Alastair noted her eyes wandered around the room - deviated from how she usually behaved - and suspected he was going to be apprised of some news.

Brows furrowed, he asked, "Is there something you want to tell me?"

"Well-" she rubbed at her eyes, and Alastair noticed - not for the first time - the dark circles around his mother's eyes. Does he keep you awake at night? He wished to ask in worse days, to see if it hurt her as much as it hurt him. Or is he haunting you with nightmares?

Alastair long knew the figure Elias is in Cordelia and Sona's dreams is of some immaculate hero. One with kind eyes, a guiding beacon, a loving man. In their dreams, he would outstretch a comforting hand and still be young and caring. He's the best version of himself, a father and a husband that loves them. He is also the man that dwelled in his most horrifying nightmares  - A drunk, nothing more. He was swigging vodka by the bar, with cold eyes and tousled white hair. This version of his father, he knew, would call him a brat, would complain about his mother pestering him to visit rehab. His father would hug his bottle and glance at him as if he was a nuisance to get rid of,  and he would close his eyes and wish to be elsewhere. But he's small again, and just wants his father to leave the bottle to hug him goodnight, tucked safely under the blankets. But his father wouldn't come.

Was it foolish his heart still stung whenever he came across this truth?

She cut the pleasantries and readied herself. "Your father's lawyer declared he wouldn't waive the trial," Sona conceded, her shoulders sagged. His mother laid a protective hand on her belly, where Alastair's sibling has been growing in her womb for the past few months. "A letter was dispatched."

It was all it had to take to ruin his day. He barely had the restraint to not leap on feet and scream at the cursed photo of his father, hung on one of the walls. Before it was all revealed, before it exploded in their face, and far before Cordelia became aware of their father's afflict, they used to do it often. To talk about what they would do next. How to protect Cordelia, how to help Elias, how to hide the appalling secret of their family their best. Now they did it for an entirely different reason.

Up to a few months ago, they were still a picture of a family in a broken frame. When the court exonerated Elias from any blame, they reunited and returned to posture like they always had been. Act, because that is all they could do. However, upon Elias's trial, Cordelia discovered the truth. Alastair was so exhausted from hiding it, he didn't perceive it until he let the lie collapse. He had blamed himself, he still did, but it changed nothing from the fact Cordelia knew about their father now.

She knew, and she was livid. At Alastair, at their mother and father, at the world. After all, she lived a lie. Who could have blamed her?

It was that day he confessed to her in a shaken voice the utter truth and let the wall between them succumb and burn to ashes. When he looked her in the eyes then, he saw the light in her eyes dimming, reality striking, the way he desires it never would. All those years he kept her safe from Elias were in vain. Although he received his sister back into his life, there was little Alastair could do but blame himself for shattering the delicate reality they threaded around her, the needless pain he caused her. She needed to comprehend, he told himself, what was behind the mask her father put in front of the world. 

But if he never wanted to tell her, did it still count?

And his mother. She looked stiff, if not a bit tired. She held herself straight and proud, yet it was useless. Because what could she do? What either of them could do?

"He accuses me of Parental Alienation," Sona went on, caressing her belly delicately. She peeked at the letter again, and Alastair did as well. Now he realized the sign on the letter, and the fact it seemed unopened but in fact was. "The court is checking out at his claims."

Alastair exhaled through the nose, rocking his leg in rage. "That's nonsense. He's irresponsible alcoholism that can't take care of himself. He was tipsy on the day of the trial! Any feeling we have toward him, it's his own making." Throughout the very beginning of sending the Divorce Complaint to court, Elias had refused to accept he was divorcing. Alastair was awfully aware his father wanted custody over them, and he fought with all his unmighty power to prevent it. When he imagined his younger siblings suffering a fraction of his father's attitude, his nerves set on fire. He was aware his mother fought teeth and nails to proceed in this divorce even without this additional claim.

And Alastair was even more aware they barely had had the money to pay for this. 

"What does he want?" Alastair growled. "He knows we don't have that money! He doesn't have the money to pay for this prosecution either!" His father, being put in jail, fired from his job, and wasting their money on wine, probably couldn't even provide Child Support.

"I thought it was going so well," Sona returned his stare, kind and calm. The giving sign she was upset was that rustling sound her roosari made when she fixed it restlessly.

"And Cordelia?" he made to quiet himself on the spot. He spoke in something similar to a whisper. "Bloody hell, she's upstairs. How can we tell her?"

"Language," she warned, then reached and rested her hand on his comfortingly. "She already knows."

He whipped his head in her direction. His mother didn't bat an eyelash. He managed only to let a strangled "What?" escape his mouth. He couldn't wound his mind around it. The father Cordelia looked up to betrayed her, over and over again.

His mother closed her eyes. Maybe she couldn't look at his desperate, fumed face any longer. "She was the one to fetch the letter from the post." Alastair held himself from swearing again and rose to his feet. It's good his mother didn't look at him - he wasn't sure he could look at her either. He was trembling with agitation, his vision red.

"He can't do that. He can't- get to win. Not after all the pain we've been through because of him. That's not fair. That's not fair." He was breathing hard.

"He wouldn't. Alastair, dear, look at me."

Her words were veracious, so was her voice. He couldn't manage himself to do as she said.

"Joonam-"

"I'm going for a walk." He declared strongly, hastily. "I need to chill out. Go and rest, Mother. You shouldn't work yourself out."

And with that, he took his leave. He ignored his mother calling him from behind. He brought no chattel but himself and whatever he bore that instant as he closed the door behind him and rushed down the street to disappear among the many passersby of London. Before even thinking about it, his phone was out, and he typed feverishly and pressed send without waiting to reread his text. He tucked his phone back into his trouser's pocket and took a deep breath.

His father wouldn't desist from haunting him, no matter how much he prayed it to come to an end. When his mother announced she wants a divorce, he - not lacking guilt - felt glad. Each day home was a misery. His mother was confined to bed, his father trailed the streets as if he didn't return from rehab just a month before. And this life was a cage he longed to escape, to set free from the crushing weight on his heart. 

His father-

He came to a halt in the middle of the street, letting his head fall all the way back with closed eyes. He wanted to punch a wall or lash out at someone. When he talked with Jem the other day, his cousin told him bottling things inside would only result in a breakdown. He recommended he contact a person he trusted when it all felt too much for Alastair to bear.

Perhaps he should...

No. he shook as head, trying to toss this idea into an imaginary dump bin. There's no need. A nice, solitary stroll is a splendid solution. Alastair needn't anyone to look at his back worriedly like some ailing lost kitten. He didn't need it. He can be fine if he simply composed himself.

He let his legs carry him mindlessly, losing himself in his thoughts. He walked, and walked, and walked. It was a great aid to clear his mind. Even in a crowded London street in the afternoon, he felt the tight cloud of thoughts loosening around his mind. Not for long, however. 

He walked near a club - a club he knew very well, but not because of his father. And in the entrance stood a freckled figure, with silken ginger hair and piercing green eyes.

The sight of his ex-boyfriend was enough to startle Alastair out of his thought. They locked eyes, and Alastair nearly lost his footing. Charles blurted something to whomever he was talking to and advanced toward the dark-haired boy. Alastair felt himself go stiff as if he prepared for a hit.  Swiftly, he considered turning around and flee, and just as he was about to put this thought into effect, he felt a hand seizing his forearm. While Collecting his confidence, he turned to give Charles a blank glare.  

"Alastair." greeted the older boy. "What are you doing here?"

"None of your business," Why did his voice sound hoarse? "Let go of me," Alastair demanded.

Charles's grip on his dark skin did not weaken. It felt warm even though there had been a layer of cloth between them. Alastair attempted to break free, however Charles pressed his hand harder, not enabling Alastair to move. "Come."

And so Alastair was led by his redhead ex-partner to an alley, hidden from any of Charles's companions. Alastair had the sudden urge to laugh - still so furtive. Still so abashed. Charles shoved him into the alley, blocking his way out with his body. "Alastair. I haven't seen you in a long time."

However mad he felt, his voice came out calm. Cold. Indifferent. Like he practiced in front of a mirror when he was small. "That was the point of breaking up with you," he retorted evenly.

Charles ignored his remark. "You haven't answered any of my texts, nor my calls. I ought to speak with you."

A lump rose in his throat. "I can't fathom anything to be said to matter."

He dug his nails in his palm, then understood he'd been doing it and forced himself to relax. Charles had no authority over him. He couldn't reach him now. Yet, it felt far away when Charles studied him like a very interesting political certificate. He hesitated before lifting his hand to touch Alastair's cheek tenderly. Alastair, in turn, backed away. Which was a difficult talk considering Charles still held his hand around his forearm.

"Unhand me," Alastair almost spat. He felt his own shield build up. "Do you want any of your colleagues to see you so close to a man?" The dark-eyed boy knew it would work. Charles always aspired to appear pivotal, even when it was clearly pretentious of his side. Charles's grip loosened him and Alastair hastily put distance between them. Charles gave him a look - one Alastair could only describe as wistful.

"Had I known what I did wrong to make you stop caring for me, I would have made sure to keep you closer to me," Charles said softly.

At first, it sounded almost sweet. Almost. Rather rapidly it turned disgusting as the words sank. Keep you closer, toughen the chains, tell lies to a love-famished soul.

He felt fire spreading in his stomach. Not the good sort of fire - but the kind that consumes everything it touches, that destroys and demolishes and injures.  "You didn't know?" Alastair's voice quivered as he spoke, barely tamed anger in every syllable. "Shucks, so what could tell? What could tell you did something wrong when I told you I was upset you were with Ariadne? And later on, when you went and pushed your tongue into Grace's mouth in front of my eyes to make everyone believe you're straight? Or perhaps that whenever I expressed any feeling that wasn't gratitude you grace me with your presence, you said I'm overreacting? "

Charles straightened. "I wasn't bad to you. I tried to give you everything I could."

"Damnit, Charles, not today," Alastair whirled in his place, his words hot and sharp. "That's not on you to decide if you were bad or good to me! You have no right to decide for me. You gave me what you thought would be enough so I won't talk, and I was a boy desperate to be loved." He exhaled slowly. "So no, Charles. You weren't good for me at all."  

"You wanted me to out myself for you when I wasn't ready?"

He was never going to be ready, Alastair thought. "If you think I was upset with you because you weren't out, you don't know me at all." A mirthless laugh slipped Alastair's lips. Did Charles even listen to him? 

"Don't say that." Charles objected. "I know you better than anyone else. You know that too." he huffed and loosened his tie. "No, that's not it. Do you not love me anymore?"

It was ridiculous. "No, Charles, I don't." The smell hit his nostrils, and the realization dawned on him. Charles's mouth stank from Alcohol, despite not smelling it on his clothes at all.

Ah.

"You're drunk," Alastair condemned.  It was almost an accusation, spoke so offhandedly. But he truly didn't care enough for it to be an accusation.

"I drank only a drink or two." Charles dismissed, and he looked so ugly at that moment, Alastair wanted to flee from his presence. "If you didn't want me, don't blame me for why this relationship broke apart. I try to make things right."

It was comedic to watch Charles exculpate himself and put the blame on Alastair, had it been another day. Now, it only pissed Alastair furthermore.

"Stay away from me," his words sounded like acid in his ears. "I am not fond of drunks. Or ex-boyfriends. And you seem to be both."

Charles made a comical face, one in another day Alasair might laugh at. Distantly, he realized now why Cordelia and Sona were so reluctant to break him the news. When it came to this case, and to his father, Alastair was always on his toes. He is still too easily riled by the words and deeds of others sometimes. When he had to tell the court about his deeds revolving around his father - the late-night walks outside to pubs, the frequent help; the fear someone would find out - he poured all of his being to try and help his family. Defend them from Elias. But seemingly it had no use, and all Alastair was left with is his contempt with nowhere to pour it into. It slipped from the cracks of his armor like Lava.

He passed Charles, who no longer blocked the alley, and Charles perked up and said, "We haven't finished talking."

His phone buzzed repeatedly, signaling Kamala had received his previous message. "We are done," Alastair growled, loud. These green eyes widened, and he opened his mouth. To shush him, most probably. However, blood boiled in his ears and his words demanded to be heard. "Unassuming, quiet, dark," Alastair snapped. "A bloody puppet, that's what you want. And I refuse to be your puppet any longer. What is in my words unclear to you? Stay. Away. Should I spell it for you?"

Charles glanced at the sides nervously, looking for leery eyes even though there were none. Alastair couldn't believe it. Charles still tried to subdue him. It made him smirk ruthlessly at the older boy. "But you can't take no for an answer, do you? You think you deserve everything."

"You have no idea what you're talking about," The redhead scoffed, squinting at him. "If you're angry at something, don't take it on me."

"Oh, I will do whatever I want to do," His grin widened viciously." All I do is tell you exactly what I think of you. Does it hurt your white-man-superiority complex?" he mocked with a false sad nod. "Too bad."

His phone started to ring, and he could already tell it was Kamala, worried about what he told her. She was straightforward when she told him once to never hesitate to call her if her help is required. In some of his worst days, it was his best friend that contributed to preventing him from knocking his head in a wall. Moreover, Alastair told Kamala everything about the lawsuit and what they'd been through - the Carstairs saw her like family - and she was nothing but understanding. It took every gram of control in Alastair's body to clasp his phone and say, "I must go."

He didn't wait for an answer.

His phone went quiet in his hand. He pressed a few buttons and gripped the phone close to his ear.

After the fourth ring, someone picked up the phone. "Hello?"

"Our place," Alastair's voice was strained. It felt like it came out from far, far away. "Now."

With adrenaline still driving through his system, he headed to his hideout. When life would be too much, he used to wander around town or find his escape in the calm of nature. And if this meant hunkering down next to a fence in Hyde Park, that's his business alone.

His phone raged up, and he felt stable enough to answer. The first thing Kamala said over the call was, "Love, I'm so sorry."

"Yes," Alastair mumbled darkly. "Me too."

Eventually, they hung up, and he sat on the ground, so his legs were against his chest and his arms surrounding them. For however long it'd been, he rested his head on the fence and let his overloaded mind take a break. When it didn't work and his head still throbbed, Alastair kicked at the ground in frustration, raising a cloud of dust. Then he sounded the low noise of feet against the sand, and a long figure climbed the fence he leaned on.

He stared at what Thomas was securing at his hands before he made a noise of annoyance. "Hell with this," he reached his hand, "Bring it over."

He grasped the can of beer, opening it with a loud pssh-pop! The can was cold in his hand, as if fresh from the store, and he took a sip. Then he lowered the can, revealing again the image of Thomas in a hoodie and pajama pants. He looked like he put random combination clothes and went outside, which probably wasn't far from the truth. Alastair didn't have the power to hum appreciatively.

"You sounded like you were crashed by a motorcycle, and then was chewed by the cats and dogs of the neighborhood," Thomas offered. "Thought you might need it."

"No shit," Alastair mumbled. "Thanks." He cradled it to his chest and looked away. Thomas looked a bit worried, but he said no words. As silence as a cat - no, Thomas was better described as a tiger - he went and sat next to Alastair. He opened his own beer can, gulping the drink in big sips.

Alastair had not opened his mouth, and Thomas didn't pressure him. For long moments that stretched even longer than they should, none of them uttered a word. They set together, side by side, surrounded by trees and leaves and the sun sinking from the west. With a big 'Ugh', Alastair dipped his head and slipped into Thomas's arms. 

"I don't want you embroiled in this," Alastair murmured, not moving as Thomas started tracing circles on his arm.

Thomas sighed softly, resting his chin on top of Alastair's head, not before he planted a kiss on the line of his hair. "Alright. But you know you can tell me whatever you want, yes?"

"I do," Alastair fell silent for a few seconds. His cheek was against Thomas's pulse point, where he found himself calming down with its steady beat. "I met Charles today."

"Charles?" at this sole word Thomas went rigid, ultimately relaxing as Alastair captured the hand on his arm and intertwined their fingers. "What has happened?"

"Nothing," Alastair answered and he knew without looking Thomas had his adorable face twisted in bewilderment. Therefore he added, reluctantly, "The usual."

Thomas moved to eye him suspiciously, but Alastair's head was still tucked under Thomas's chin. "I wouldn't think you call me if it was nothing."

"I call you for all sort of things. It doesn't have to be because my toxic ex is a dipshit."

"It feels like a low bar."

Alastair chuckled. "It really is."

Silence ensued and the presence of his boyfriend made everything brighter. Later at night, he would wonder how one man could make it so much better, yet now he just felt blessed to have Thomas by his side. A few minutes passed with Alastair closing his eyes and melting into Thomas's hug, while Thomas stroked his back comfortingly.

"Alastair?"

"Mhh."

"Alastair. "

He dug his fingers at the cool ground, taking a deep breath in an attempt to regain his composure. "What?"

He pushed Alastair back gently, and the short boy complied so they were face to face. "Are you alright?"

His dark eyes refused to meet with Thomas's hazel ones. There had been a quiet, "I'm not sure."

Thomas picked at a loose string of his hoodie, and Alastair made a mental note to steal his boyfriend's hoodie and sew it. He sat next to Thomas and reached for the beer, gulping the content of the can. He turned to Thomas, wiping his mouth with the back of his hand. He furrowed his brows when his boyfriend looked at him oddly, but it soon disappeared from Thomas's face. 

Alastair fiddled with the hem of his shirt, and his eyes were yet low on the ground. He sounded rustling by his side and glanced at his boyfriend as he took off his hoodie. Alastair cocked his eyebrow, and Thomas huffed at him with flushed cheeks. He handed him the hoodie. "You - might be cold. It's rather late, and you wear nothing but a T-shirt."

He scanned Thomas's underneath jumper and deemed it not much warming. "And you?"

"I am big, I make a lot of heat. Cellular respiration and all that."

Alastair snorted, shaking his head. "You daft med student."

He found solace in the warm hug of his boyfriend. And wearing his hoodie was almost the same, although he missed the heat. Yet, it was soft and familiar and all Thomas. His smell was enticing to Alastair, and he put it on and sniffed it -indistinguishably - even if Thomas was just a few inches away. 

As the sun set, it tinted the forest around them orange.

"You're doing the thing," Alastair commented, causing Thomas to blink.

"The what?" the tall boy asked.

"The thing. That you do." he poked Thomas's side. "You get all pensive and thoughtful and furrows your brows in that adorable way of yours. You caress your rose compass tattoo."

Thomas gave him a slight smile. "Genie has been ecstatic ever since Kamala agreed to join our family trip. I'm afraid my father is going to ask you himself if I won't."

"Ah."

"It's a bad timing, though," Thomas cackled nervously. "Sorry, never mind."

"That's fine, I don't care," Alastair said. "What family trip?"

"We thought to visit mom's country last year, but this year we want to visit some rural parts of England. Uncle Will keeps telling us how visiting North Wells, where his family lived. Eugenia keeps threatening to steal my sweets." 

"She certainly would still all your snacks," Alastair speculated. He flapped mindlessly the sleeves of Thomas's hoodie to himself, which were too long for him. Thomas sent him a soft side smile.

"She will," agreed Thomas in false despair, resting his head on the fetch they leaned on. "She's like some sort of sweets monster. The only way to calm her down is to sacrifice our food." 

"I know," was Alastair's response. "She's my friend. My very own short chaotic, havoc-causing, maniac goblin friend." It startled a laugh out of Thomas, and he went to rest his hand on Alastair's knee.

"Dad keeps joking he will cancel the trip if not all of the honorary lightwoods join as well. But honestly, I'm not sure he's joking any longer."

"Honorary Lightwoods?"

"He adopted y'all the moment you steeped a foot into our house. You know that." Thomas's voice sounded almost longing. He added, with a good laugh, "I think he favors you over his own children."

Alastair didn't know why he had to be this way, but it caught him off guard. It made a weird pang in his heart to think Gideon Lightwood would consider him his son. Even more so, when he knew his own father would prefer to engage in a foreign bar than to eat with him. Alastair's throat felt thick all of a sudden, and it was hard to breathe. He made a shaky inhale, as soft and thin as paper. Thomas captured that, of course.

"Baby," Thomas whispered. He acted cautiously, like he was afraid to scare Alastair away. 

"No," Alastair chocked out. He hid his face in his elbow, struggling to take another breath. "Nope."

It was silent for at least a minute before Thomas piped out, "Alastair joon."

Abruptly, Alastair lifted his head and turned to his boyfriend, a spike of anger ignited."I should be stronger," Alastair burst out, heat in his words, like flames. "It shouldn't - why does it affect me like this? This isn't - nothing has happened, so why-" he cut himself off, watching Thomas's countenance. He was the epitome of calm, deep understanding eyes and soft around the corners. His lips were pressed, and he was utterly handsome. Ridiculous. 

Thomas swooped him into a hug, and Alastair didn't accept it. He fought to break loose and jumped on his feet. Raving fear and outrage and agony all mixed together on the tip of his tongue. He felt angry at himself for reacting this way, at Thomas for having such a perfect family, at the world because there was no one to blame for his situation. "A few months ago I still searched for my father in pubs to return him home safely. Now I look for my father from the other side of the courtroom and watch him try to take away my sibling. And my mother - she wouldn't admit it but I know she's stressed. She probably can't even sleep at night without my ass of a father to haunt her! And Charles wouldn't even realize he's in the wrong, because as always, it's just my fault it all broke apart. Mine. Mine alone."

"And Charles is still a jerk, and Mâmân is still unwell, and my goddam father is the worst father of the year," Alastair gritted his teeth. "And I feel so useless. Utterly useless.  because I can't do anything about it. The court will prefer my father's white ass to my brown skin. They would think he's a better fit to take care of the child, even it's crystal clear he isn't. He wasn't for us, he will never be. And this poor child - it deserves a real family. And my drunken father is nothing of what it deserves. So how can he try to get custody over it, Thomas? How can they let him? " 

"Alastair," his name sang on his boyfriend's tongue was like thick syrup. "You are not useless."

The shorter man flashed at him with a growl. "I couldn't help my father with his problem. I can't help my mom in court. I can't even be a good sibling to Cordelia, so how could I be a good one to the baby-?"

He was shuddering, he perceived, even though the night wasn't very cold. Was he sobbing? he couldn't tell. It was like he felt everything detached from afar. He felt bulky arms close around him, and he didn't protest this time. He tried to catch his breath, albeit it kept escaping him.

"None of this is your fault, Azizam. Life can be unfair to fair people. But you mustn't question yourself because of it." Thomas grazed a big, warm hand on Alastair's cheek, sweeping his tears. "And your love is so profound, it can build bridges. It's so selfless and raw and pure, can't you see it? It's all your heart, all of you, aching because you want those you love to be well. And they will be well, Alastair. They can move mountains because it's you on their side. They are lucky to have you." His voice lowered to a whisper.

"This is just too much," Alastair shook his head. "I just- want to be out of my racing mind. I want some quiet."

Thomas gave him a sad look. "I can't tell you it will pass soon. But you're not alone, Alastair. You have many people to hold you when you feel you're about to fall. All you have to do is look."

They set there in their hideout, and Thomas leaned in and left a gentle kiss on Alastair's lips. A promise.

Alastair tilted his head and closed his eyes. "What did I do to deserve you?"

"If anything, it's the opposite. You're spectacular," Thomas leaned in again, so their foreheads and noses touch. It startled a bubbled giggle out of Alastair, and Thomas smirked. He repeated it again and again and again. Until Alastair started to believe his words.

[lorei-writes]

When He’s Back

Masamune x MC Angst

Request: @rikumorimachisgirl Prompt(s): Half-truths + Last Conversation + “I’m awful, aren’t I?”

Okay, I must admit, the main theme was inspired by @spoopy-fish-writes ‘s latest Mitsuhide angst. My first idea was darker, but ah, I went pretty dark yesterday and decided that my twist on the theme may not be a bad idea, haha.

Content Warnings: fire

--

Her fingers dug into the paper, the letter itself stinging her hands. Her lips twisted, her expression grew sour, her hand reached into the purse she carried when she was transported through time, a lighter soon lying nestled inside of her palm – and seemingly urgently, she marched out into the darkness, to set the dreaded message aflame. If only the ashes did not continue to cloud her head…

The day came, her heart pounding in her chest as the door to her workshop opened, a familiar figure stepping inside. Masamune smiled at her brightly, a package slung over his shoulder, excitement written well within his features. Her hands froze, the ghost of the letter sliding over her fingers as she looked up from over her project. “One last chance, kitten,” he chirped, nearing the place she was seated at. “Do you want to go with me?” “No, I’ve told you already,” she laughed in reply, rolling her eyes as he seated himself in front of her. “I’m almost convinced you are addicted to me by now. Treat it like a… A rehab!” His eye narrow mischievously, sparkles lighting up in the blue iris, his hands cupping her face and prompting her to look up. “You sure I’m the only addicted one? I may be rather busy after I come back…” he nearly purred, his voice lowering as their faces inched closer. “Not so sure anymore, no,” she whispered in reply, her lids growing surprisingly heavy, much too heavy not to let them fall. Much to her surprise, however, he opted to assault her forehead, his lips brushing over the patch of skin between her brows and then withdrawing immediately. She frowned – quite rude, if she were to speak up, her face donning a pout. “What’s the sour face for, lass?” he laughed, causing her to almost forget of her plans. “Nothing!” “Nothing? It seems you’ve grown resistant then… Should I try harder?” “Try harder?” she echoed after him, her heart fluttering as Masamune got closer again, his nose nuzzling against her neck as he sucked  lightly on where it joined with her shoulder. She gasped – and just like so, he was gone again, already standing on his feet and grinning at her from the door. “Be a good kitten while I’m gone, I’ll see you when I’m back.” “I… I’ll try my best,” she hesitated, pulling herself together.

His steps became gradually quieter until they ceased to sound off completely, an empty silence filling the room to the very brim. Goosebumps rising over her forearms, she listened in to every screech and creak, a ceiling panel being eventually removed as Sasuke emerged from it. “Rea –… Ready?” he stopped for a moment. “Is everything fine?” “Yes, of course,” she replied immediately, throwing the unfinished project over the table.

***

“You seem to be looking for somebody. Are you sure everything is fine?” Sasuke asked yet once again as they approached the Honnoji temple. “Yes. It’s nothing,” she lied. Was she trying to find some sign? Silly of her, truly.

They entered the temple, the phantom smell of smoke feeling her lungs as she re-remembered the months she spent in the past. Did she really want to go back? Her feet stood firmly over the balcony. Was then even the point to pondering over the matter, if she knew the price of staying behind? “You look pale,” he noted again, much to her dismay. “I’m fine.”

The lightning stroke, an odd whirlwind taking over the blue skies – and all she could do was look at her semi-transparent hands and equally clear letter, one she could not bear to leave behind. I’m awful, aren’t I? I could not even give you that much, she thought, disappearing alongside her reason for leaving.

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