#but then you and said coworker accidentally make out in the library one (1) time and now its all a game of cat and mouse

[nerevar-quote-and-star]

New crackship idea: Jolinar x Ancano

Nin, I love the way you think.

Truly the most hilarious of all possible Jolinar ships.

[nakidoriii]

Trouble (Part 1)

Nanami Kento x Y/N Reader

Warning: sexual tension ||| MDNI

This is the third week in a row that Nanami has seen you at the library. You were a music theory tutor that was hired in the beginning of month. Nanami often watched you while he read. You first caught his eye when you bumped into him three weeks ago, carrying a stack of sheet music and books. You both often think about that interaction. The way you accidentally touched his hand while picking up the sheets of papers, how smooth his voice sounded when he spoke to you, him complimenting your eyes…. Just for you guys to never have a real conversation after that. The only reason you know his name is because you took it upon yourself to look it up on the check in computer. You were gonna have a conversation with him today, though. You planned it.

“Good morning.” You say to the receptionist as you walk into the library.

“Good morning, Y/N. You’re here early?” She flashes you a look of suspicion. “Trying to beat Nanami here so you can finally talk to him?”

You jump at the true accusation, getting shy over her noticing.

“Whhhaaaa,” the pitch of your voice being high. “Can’t I be early to the job I love SO much?” You play off your nervousness.

Your coworker laughs and says , “I saw you look up his name that day, girl. You’re not slick. Besides I don’t think he’s married, or has kids or anything.” Married? That thought didn’t even cross your mind. “This is the perfect morning to talk to him, Your first student cancelled and then you have office hour, then lunch.”

“This is the motivation I needed, thank you, girl.” You walk to your cramped office and place your things down. You immediately stand in-front of the full body mirror by your book shelf, making sure you look perfect. You wore a black fitted blouse, that accentuated your waist. You unbuttoned one more button to reveal abit of your breasts. Your smokey grey skirt hugged your hips and stopped a couple of inches above your knees. You turn around, revealing the slit in the back of the skirt. You silently thank your mom for blessing you with a perfect ass and rack to match. You face forward again, fixing your stockings. You check the time, shit, he should be here any minute.

“I need perfume.” You say rummaging through your purse. You spray a couple spritz, put away your things, and hastily walk to the library.

“Good morning, Nanami.” You hear the receptionist say.

He softly smiles at her and says, “Good morning. They got you working by yourself?”

“No, Y/N is here too.” Your coworker pointing over at you, pretending to look through the go back cart.

“That’s good. Don’t work too hard.” He says as he swipes his card to check in.

Today he wore a fitted blue dress shirt, that showed the outline of his chiseled chest and arms. He had worn this shirt before and personally, it was your favorite. You smiled lightly at him and waved as he walked up to you. You didn’t realize how much taller he was than you until he was standing right in front of you.

“Good morning.” You say turning your head to face him.

“Good morning. I know I come here once or twice a week but I don’t think I ever got your name?” His question jump starting your pulse.

“Y/N L/N. Pleased to meet you.” You hold out your hand for him to shake it. His big calloused hands engulf yours as he says, “Nanami Kento. The pleasure is mine.”

His face was perfection up close, prominent cheek bones, sharp jaw line, and nice lips. All you needed to know is if you were his type, then you wouldn’t be nervous. He lets go of your hand and you awkwardly smile at him as you keep sorting the books.

“What do you like to read?” You blurt out. You were gonna talk to this man whether you like it or not.

He lets out a “hmm” as he looked up to think. He stuck his hand in his pockets and said, “This is a broad answer but fiction or non fiction. What about you? You seem like you have good taste.”

Okay, what did he just say? You seem like you have good taste? He’s flirting with you but you still need more convincing. You stop sorting the books and turn your body towards him.

“When I’m not reading music theory books, I enjoy romance. It’s a nice change of pace after talking about how to build Neapolitan sixth chords all day.” You feel his eyes burning holes through you, your not even sure if he was listening. His wandering eyes taking in every detail of your body. You’ve felt this gaze before, now that you think about it. However, you didn’t know it was him on the other side of it. He’s been caught and that was the evidence you needed to really take control of the situation.

“How long have you done music for?” His eyes shifting back to my eyes.

You smirk and say “20 years. I’m currently 25.”

“I had no idea you were such an impressive young woman.”

“There’s lot you don’t know about me. What about you, Mr. Nanami ? What do you do for work?” You start pushing the cart and he follows. It seemed like he wanted this conservation to continue. He spoke to you the entire time you were doing the go backs, an hour passing the both of you by. Thank god the library is dead this morning.

“Y/N, your office hour starts now.” Your coworker says from across the room.

“Thank you.” You reply.

“Office hour, huh? I assume you have to leave now?” He says lightly.

“Not quite, you can come read in my office… if you’d like.”

He slightly blushes at your words and says, “I won’t get you in trouble, will I?”

“As long as you don’t tell anybody.” You wink at him and push the go back cart back to the front of the library.

You exchange looks with your coworker at the front as she puts her headphones in. You mouth the words “thank you” before heading back into your small office, with Nanami sitting in the chair infront of your desk. He had his book in hand and already hung his bag next to yours on the wall. You make eye contact with him as you close the door, knowing it’s gonna be a tight squeeze when you pass by him to get to your chair behind the desk. He knew this too.

“Excuse me, I’m gonna get right past you.” You say as you shimmy your way infront him. Your plump breasts being a hairsbreadth away from his face. He got close enough to get a whiff of your perfume and that was enough to jumpstart his pulse.

You turn on your computer as Nanami starts reading. You sat in silence for a few moments with each other. You both were exchanging glances every now and then. He loosen his yellow spotted tie and runs his hand through his hair. He leans back in his chair, spreading his legs slightly; putting his whole body on display for you.

Your intrusive thoughts take over and you rub one of your heels against his ankle. He looks up from his book to see your reaction. Nothing. You kept typing on your computer and ignored his glance. He went back to his book. You did it again, this time wondering up to his knee.

“Mmm.” He lets out as he flashes you warning look.

“You good?” You ask playing dumb.

“Mhm.” He plays along.

A few minutes pass by and you repeat your actions. This time, running your heel up to his crotch. You feel him squirm under your leg. He puts his book down and locks his gaze on you. His hands slowly wander up your stocking covered leg.

“Don’t get yourself in trouble.”

WHEN THIS IDEA CAME TO ME I HAD TO WRITE IT DOWN. I hope you all like it!

Part two

Masterlist

Please do not alter or steal my writings ©️

[not-the-red-mist]

... It is interesting how fate seems to work in this mirror world of yours. I am curious as to whether your suggestion of a title for this... Individual could, in part, have affected your own world.

In the meantime,

Tell me, what do you know of Color Fixers themselves? Additionally, from what Workshop was your protective headwear made? I'm curious to know of its capabilities, and the functionality of this 'Amber Star' they have added to your uniform, as well as if there is ought else to be known.

Thank you, as always, for your time.

~ @chroniclassitude

Sadly, I’m not exactly in a position to reveal the producer of my helmet, not because it’s a trade secret, but because it might reveal the true name of my location to other people.

That said, it is made of a non-degradable plastic meant to limit the severity of head injuries. It is lightweight and somewhat durable, but also somewhat brittle; It might splinter under a sufficient shearing force, but it should stop most accidental damage, which is what it’s primarily rated for. In short, it’s cheap, easy to wear, and replaceable when damaged. The star is an embellishment a coworker added; No distinct function, save for aesthetic preference and potentially identification, which is why it also has a color distinct from other helmets of a similar make on my team.

As for your first question, I know a fair amount, probably less than the average Fixer does though. Colors are Grade 1 Fixers who have, through the process of their work, made a name and reputation for themselves recognized by Hana Association, which while good for business can also result in a reduction in the Color’s personal freedom and ability to choose their own contracts. While I’m aware of the titles, names and statuses of a few Colors from the more common Mirror Worlds wherein one can find the City, I’m not exactly omniscient on the matter, especially because my world is bereft of a Hana Association to delegate the title of Color, and bereft of Fixers so notable as to ever make the cut as a Color. As such, I’ll list out the names and statuses of those Colors from what I believe to be your world now. Bear in mind that there will be some more sensitive information in the Read More section, so I’m not spoiling the story of a world for anyone.

The Red Gaze, Vergilius - Alive, currently employed by Limbus Company.

The Purple Tear, Iori - Presumed alive.

The Indigo Elder - Alive and hunting on the Great Lake.

The Black Silence, Angelica - Killed in action by the Pianist. Title taken up by her husband, Roland, despite lacking formal acknowledgement from Hana Association. Final resting place is the Library.

The Black Silence, Roland - Went on a rampage, resulting in his demotion to Grade 9. Became Patron Librarian of General Works for the Library. Banished from the City during the Head’s expulsion of the Library. Presumed alive.

The Blue Reverberation, Argalia - Not at liberty to say, due to the nature of his conflict and certain ambiguities. Presumably he is still contained at the Library. However, we just can’t know.

The Vermilion Cross - Enthralled by First Kindred Elena, also known as the Blood-red Night. Final resting place is the Library.

The Red Mist, Kali - Killed in action and revived to act as a department head for Lobotomy Corporation under the name “Gebura”. Later became Patrol Librarian of Language for the Library.

The Red Sack - Killed by Gnomes in the Outskirts.

[babylove007]

Wednesday March 19th 2025 Today is 1 Year since I took the remaining 7-9 morphine sulphate tablets at the Isebell Turner Branch library, for pain so bad I could lay in the street and fall asleep. Prescribed by Dr. Timothy Chaplin (again!)

Then, I remember him and his coworkers the first night I came to Kingston. I took a cab from Gananoque Police Station to Denny's at the Riocan Centre in Kingston. From there I had to call an ambulance in pain. They had the audacity to list my wrist band as Allyce Yiseman They gave me a CT Scan with a radiation face cage. There was discussion (and laughter) about it being my first radiation treatment to "see how it works". There was discussion of me being injured in the KGH basement, while I was still on the ambulance stretcher.

I know I was not well enough to consent, and I know my emergency contact would advise against it in all circumstances. They did it anyway.

I sipped my coffee on the bus to the mall this morning,

Remembering my Nana....

The first time I accidentally swallowed a black watermelon seed in the living room, Nana had me drink a bottle of iodine to see the colour variations.

"I can feel it in my foot" I said, trying to massage the seed in my foot in horror, in front of my Nana

----------------------------------

I smile today, because just like the toilet paper mucus secretion from my belly button yesterday, I know that iodine was not only kept -- it was stored.

Schools give K pills (potassium-iodine) in the event of a nuclear issue.

My sea salt plantain chips are the trick that fires you idiots and your corrupted clicks.

I woke up held against a chair in KGH basement, the police had at one point brought me down there ---- while someone tipped the chair and smashed my head against the tile. I heard my top right skull bone shatter against it. There was a massive goose egg, and KGH security boy (Melissa Bouwesma, MD's baby father) brought me upstairs and handed me an incident report paper slip. I left because you planned it. Your KGH team planned it and I left. I was pissed because I knew that had an amputee quota, and they were saying that green makes people nauseaous. (Nurse Greyson) That nurse came to take me out of the waiting room in the wheelchair when their was nobody left in the room, asked me to walk, and I told her I couldn't becau That is where the honey comb gunk holes remain present around an old circle hole.

-----------------------------------------------------------------------------

When I say no, I mean fuckin' no.

------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Posted 10:37pm. Updated Within 60 seconds.

Mark Evans, Gloria Evans, Shane, Sean and Melissa Bouwesma were present in a MOTEL ROOM, when liqour was poured into my brother's unconscious mouth,

I said no, I repeated no, Dr. Paulovic was beside me while I was ziptied to a chair and I still said no.

Oxygen hits the cancer in my foot differently, than the cyst in my brother's brain.

I said no, I repeated no, and I meant it.

I will allow you all to discuss and question who walked in after.

From my view, the head of the bed was to the left, foot to the right, My brother and sister were laid on the bed, with there knees and legs hanging off the end of it.

Mark Evans, Gloria Evans, Shane, Sean and Melissa Bouwesma, MD were present in a MOTEL ROOM, when liquor was poured into my brother's unconscious mouth.

The washroom door was open behind them, and the light was on.

*** Ancient Medicine, No Need Fi Play ***

I Wanted To Hulk Smash You To Pieces, Ziptied To The Chair I Spit On The Carpet Instead, Solid With The Ground I Walk Upon.

[allwaswell16]

This is part two of my One Direction University/College fic recs as requested in this ask. I was just going to update the rec, but then I had so many new, amazing fics to add not to mention a few favs that I left off the last list that I decided to make an entire part two to the rec. You can find the first rec here. You can find all my other fic recs here. Please leave kudos and comments for the writers if you enjoy the fic! 

Happy reading! 

Larry

🎒 A Distant Hazy Light, @greenfeelings / green_feelings (M, 76k, uni au, a/b/o, alpha Louis, omega Harry, music industry, music mogul Louis, uni student Harry, mating cycles, pining, sexual tension, slow burn, soul bond, angst, part 1 of series)

🎒 thinking about the t-shirt you sleep in, @absoloutenonsense / nonsensedarling (E, 52k, a/b/o, alpha Harry, omega Louis, frat boy Harry, emotional hurt/comfort, uni au, pining, scenting, Louis wears Harry’s clothes, fluff, friends to lovers, dirty talk, smut)

🎒 Say It Back, @quelsentiment / wordsnnotes (T, 39k, uni au, hurt/comfort, angst with a happy ending, research lab, coworkers, loneliness, past character death, grief, social anxiety, friendship, asexuality, no smut)

🎒 Take A Chance On Me, @peachypetalhazz / Etoilenoire (E, 39k, uni au, crush, pining, insecure Harry, shy Harry, house party, secret admirer, blind date, concert, smut)

🎒 You Don’t Have To Be Lonely This Christmas, @londonfoginacup / LadyLondonderry (T, 35k, Advent fic, uni au, roommates, Christmas, library, household disasters, getting together, humor, sick Harry)

🎒 Compete Against the Stars, @daggerandrose​ / amomentoflove (M, 30k, uni au, a/b/o, alpha Harry, omega Louis, arranged marriage, pining, nesting, scenting, fluff, angst, smut)

🎒 Introduction to Dynamics, @juliusschmidt (E, 29k, uni au, a/b/o, alpha Harry, omega Louis, outspoken Louis, rut, heat, coming of age, presenting, masturbation, knotting, smut)

🎒 Campus Creatures, @kingsofeverything & @louandhazaf / YesIsAWorld (E, 25k, uni au, vampires, werewolves, fae, fraternities, pranks, vampire Harry, werewolf Louis, lab partners, enemies to lovers, smut)

🎒 (summer is over) and i wanna leave you satisfied, @doncasterkitten / patdkitten (M, 25k, college au, royal au, one night stand, ballet dancer Louis, hockey player Harry, miscommunication, smut)

🎒 Anonymous Said, @alivingfire (T, 21k, uni au, bookstore, coming of age, coming out, homophobia, tumblr, anonymous messages, mistaken identiy kind of)

🎒 blend into my favourite colour, @rainbowninja / rainbowninja167 (T, 19k, coffee shop, social media, tumblr, fandom, uni, pining, fluff)

🎒 pink like the paradise found, @disgruntledkittenface​ (M, 18k, girl direction, uni au, student Harry, student Louis, bartender Louis, lesbian bar, flirting, fluff, pet names, sexual awakening, first time, smut)

🎒 (It's New) The Shape of Your Body, @fallinglikethis​ (M, 18k, uni au, enemies to friends to lovers, uni au, roommates, mpreg Louis, accidental pregnancy, hurt/comfort, angst with a happy ending, football, mutual pining, no smut)

🎒 I couldn’t face a life without your lights. @louisandsass (M, 15k, uni au, exes to lovers, flashbacks, enemies with benefits, jealousy, getting back together, angst with a happy ending, smut, bl)

🎒 Smells Like Omega Spirit, @lululawrence (NR, 11k, college au, a/b/o, alpha Harry, omega Louis, scenting, neutralizers, misunderstandings, hurt/comfort, mating cycles, nesting, flirting, pining, no smut)

🎒 if you're lost just look for me, @so-why-let-your-voice-be-tamed / we_are_the_same (T, 9k, uni au, strangers to lovers, drama student Louis, sociology student Harry, LGBT group, motivational quotes, stress, no angst, no smut)

🎒 Shine, @littlelouishiccups (E, 8k, girl direction, uni au, pining, friends to lovers, roommates, coming out, fluff, first time, smut)

🎒 streetwise hercules, @bottomlinsons (G, 7k, uni au, coffee shop, friends to lovers, fake/pretend relationship, jealous Harry, idiots to lovers, oblivious walnuts)

🎒 i’m sticking to you like glue, @hugoweasley / peanutbutterapple (G, 6k, Halloween fic, time jumps, uni au, pining, sick Louis, fluff)

🎒 Tastes like Strawberries, @sadaveniren (E, 5k, uni au, a/b/o, alpha Harry, omega Louis, grad students, mistaken identity kind of, rimming, nesting, heat, bed sharing, smut) 

🎒 you're safe like spring time, @soldouthaz​ (E, 4k, uni au, library, enemies to lovers, storm, pwp, dry humping, grinding)

🎒 What a Difference a Day Makes, @phd-mama / phdmama (M, 3k, college au, frat boy Harry, pre med student Louis, house party, enemies to lovers, first impressions, oral sex)

🎒 I don't want a taste (I want it all), @thedaggerrose​ (E, 3k, uni au, avocado toast, Facebook post arguments, hipster Harry, fluff, humor, banter, booty call, smut)

Lilo

🎒 Heart Skips A Beat, harriet_vane (T, 27k, Louis/Liam, Harry/Zayn, uni au, meet cute, meet drunk lol, alcohol, club, first time, kissing, Harry pov, getting together)

🎒 Hesitate, @allwaswell16 (E, 3k, Louis/Liam, uni au, breakup, fwb, best friends, childhood friends, getting back together, house party, flirting, angst with a happy ending, miscommunication, smut)

Tomlinshaw

🎒 Not Your Fault But Mine, @magicalrocketships / sunsetmog (E, 152k, Louis/Nick Grimshaw, uni au,  friendship, depression, anxiety, hurt/comfort, drinking, panic attacks, minor self harm, mental health issues, jealousy, angst with a happy ending)

Ziam

🎒 If you let me be your man, @lightwoodsmagic (E, 5k, Zayn/Liam, uni au, a/b/o, alpha Liam, omega Zayn, heat, strangers to lovers, bonding, pet names, fluff, smut, nesting)

[thebraingremlinsaremad]

Daily Blog #15: August 22, 2021

Dollar Tree is honestly pretty fucking awesome 👌👌👌

I set my alarm for like 6:25 this morning, but it took 6 minutes for the "Horsin' Around" theme song instrumental to wake me up. I was pretty tired lol. I just dismissed it and went back to sleep.

I only went back to sleep because I knew I had another alarm set for 7:00. That got me up.

I should mention that this was still in the RV over an hour away from the house.

After I got up, I went to go get a shower, and did so successfully.

Unfortunately, I had forgotten my brush this time and had to do it afterwards after my hair had a bit of time to dry, which did make it a little more difficult lol.

I got dressed and grabbed my stuff, putting it into my car.

I made it a point to see and say "see you later" to my grandparents before I left for the flea market.

My dad insisted that I stayed to say goodbye to my mom, so I left.

I did NOT have cell service up there, as was mentioned in my previous 2 blogs of which I could only post today, so finding my way was a tiny bit difficult until I got some service to ask Google to take me to "...".

It worked and I got there.

On my drive, I listened to 1 by Simple Kid, a CD I had previously purchased at a Dollar Tree location.

I got a call from the guy at the flea market saying that I had some people there waiting for me. He asked how far away I was, to which I said "about 10 minutes." Ironically, that call made me miss my exit, as Google couldn't talk during the call, and added about 3 minutes to my arrival time lmao.

I did sell the Xbox that he said someone was interested in. I got $40 for it. I spent 27¢ on it. Pretty good return if you ask me.

I couldn't sell it with anything other than a power cord because the controller and AV cables I had been using to play it there were for my personal console. I'm just glad I can actually hook my Xbox up and stop having to drag them to the flea market along with a small library of games.

Not too long after I sold the Xbox, someone came in and asked if I wanted to see some electronics he had in his car. I went out with him. It was a pair of 3ft speakers and a Pioneer audio system with dual cassette decks (although neither of them works) and a 25 Disc CD-changer, as well as the standard AM/FM tuner. Additionally, there was a Fisher amplifier and AM/FM tuner as well as a Fisher Direct Drive turntable. He said he wanted $60 for em, but before that he casually, and probably accidentally, dropped that he was just gonna take em to the thrift store.

Big mistake.

I got em for $35 lmao. THERE GOES MOST OF MY PROFIT.

Oh well.

I tested everything. As I mentioned, the cassette decks don't work, but everything else does apart from the turntable needing a new stylus.

I posted some new photos of the shop to Facebook, and someone soon DMed me about a stereo system.

I priced everything, and it turns out I have about $300 worth of equipment from that deal, the Fisher amp and tuner being worth about $150.

The buyer will hopefully show up next weekend, for he wants to buy the Fisher stuff ($185 with the turntable), the 3ft speakers, an 8-track deck, and a Kenwood deck we've had for a week or two.

The speakers are listed for $50 (and are worth around $100-150), the Kenwood Deck for $50 as well, and the 8-track for $35. That makes it about $320 in equipment. Since he's buying so much, I'll knock it down to $270 and essentially give him the speakers or cassette deck for free lol.

Apart from that stuff, not much happened at the flea market. I sold some records, cassettes, CDs and I think 2 DVDs. One person bought a VHS tape? That money was the other guy's though. Oh well xD.

I can't say that I didn't miss my wonderful partner while on the trip. I actually brought along the stuffed animal they gave me (who's name is Greg) and snuggled with him both nights.

I was very happy to hear from them UwU.

They let me rant and I let them rant.

I honestly give them too much responsibility over me xD. I'm like, "Okay, I'm gonna do this. HOLD ME TO IT."

I know I can't hold myself to anything I personally say (this blog being the only exception apparently), but I listen to them pretty well I think 🤔. If they tell me, "No, you don't need that VCR," so long as it's not some weird specialty thing, like a worldwide VCR 🥵, I'll be like "Yeah, you rite bro."

I love you man xD. You control my craziness pretty well. I'm so thankful for you UwU.

#relationshipgoals

So part way through the flea market day, I went over to Dollar Tree to buy some snack, but ended up looking through the CDs to see if there was anything good. I took photos of about 18 CDs and flipped through them online for the remainder of the flea market day.

I deleted the photos of the ones I didn't want and kept those that I liked. Surprisingly, I ended up buying 13 CDs there, but not before dropping them on the floor like the dumbass I am.

Also, sorry for all the nerd shit I spilled on your lap earlier. No one cares about amps and tuners xD.

I'M LISTENING TO ONE OF THE DOLLAR TREE CDS RIGHT NOW THO.

I already transferred over to my online library on iBroadcast and put the disc into my CD changer, which is now holding 164 CDs.

Its max capacity is 300 discs 🥵

WHY AM I NERD

Oh well

I like being a nerd gurl

Also maybe a technosexual 👀

I get really excited over some electronics. Like. REALLY excited.

Some editing VCRs are like "Holy shit that is SEXY. Look at those goddamn VU meters 🥵. And hhhh there are like 7 inputs on this thing and individual controls for left and right audio gain, not to mention Hi-Fi S-VHS recording. Hhhhhhhhhhh please gimme 😭. Why are you so expensive?"

I uh, mean, uh, *cough* look, pretty lights.

Oh yeah, I was gonna say the album I was listening to xD. MAN I GOT SIDETRACKED.

It's 37 Everywhere by Punchline. Def give it a listen; it's pretty heccin good.

Another notable album I picked up was Page One by Steven Page. I very much like the first track, "A New Shore." It's quite catchy and he has a great voice imo.

Also at dollar tree, I bought a regular bag of Fieras and 2 bags of Fieras Sticks, which were marked down to 75¢/bag because they're expiring soon.

I honestly like the generic Dollar Tree version of Takis more than actual Takis. They're a lot more flavorful when it comes to the lime, but also hotter at the same time.

Don't get the hot nacho ones tho. Hot nacho? More like hot pile of shit.

HAH

Goteem.

They're not that good xD.

THE REGULAR ONES ARE FIRE THO

"How do you do fellow kids?"

I got home and started working on putting the CDs onto my computer, and then onto iBroadcast, but not without first adding The Music Man to my digital library, something I had neglected for a month or two. The CD had just been sitting there lol.

I also switched my digital file for "The Black Parade" to that of the uncensored CD, which I had purchased before I event started working over 2 months ago.

MAN I'M LAZY

I eventually get around to shit tho lol. I guess it's just a matter of priority.

What usually takes priority is digging through everything to find something that I forgot about but then remembered, making a mess in the process that I would then have to clean up, at least partially.

I think the album just ended. I've been writing for a while xD. I'ma start "I Made You Something" by The Island of the Misfit Toys.

I'll tell you where that album came from in a minute.

In the meantime, where was I?

I kinda lost my train of thought despite reading up to see where I was. Oh well. On I go.

I ate dinner and kept working on those CDs, eventually putting my clothes from the week into the washer.

I FORGOT TO PUT MY SHAPING UNDERWEAR IN. FUCKING HELL MAN.

I wanted to wash em for this week 😭

No tight pants for Leonna I guess qwq.

Meanwhile, the box of my CD album cases is overflowing. I need another box.

I keep all of the album artworks in a big CD folder. That's almost full.

I wanna fill my entire CD changer. That's one of my big goals in life. Idk why, but I just wanna legitimately fill the entire thing.

My clothes are in the dryer now. I don't think I have the time (or energy) to fold them tonight. I'll leave that for tomorrow morning before work.

And God. Fucking. Damnit. I start school again on Wednesday. NOT looking forward to that, and neither are my 2 coworkers. We already have low enough staff, but only the two of them working is gonna be a pain in the ass.

I'll still work Saturdays.

I need to contact my guidance counselor to get out of the gym class I signed up for. I scheduled this shit before I found out I was trans, and I don't wanna deal with the fucking locker room situation 🙄 I have far more important matters.

Okay so anyway, the album I'm listening to came from a cassette. I bought this cassette a few months ago at the flea market along with a few others. The reason I bought them? They were all newer cassette releases from the 2010's, and they're all actually pretty good music from very indie bands.

Currently getting mad at iBroadcast's compression algorithm. It's unnaturally fucking anything over -10db up. Oh well, there's not really anything I can do about it.

I have like 13GB of music on my phone btw. That's about 3.5k songs on 268 albums.

I'm kind of an audiophile, but I'm too cheap to pay for a lossless service. Oh well.

They do actually have a lossless service on iBroadcast, but once again, too cheap.

Someone just sent me a friend request who legitimately posted that BLM and the democratic party are hate groups.

BLOCK.

Goodbye ho.

I don't get that. They call the democratic party a hate group when they hate people like me, and I, being more of a democrat although not fully because the 2-party system is fucked, think nothing more of them than they're very wrong about certain things, especially, as shown, that black people, as well as asian, Indian, native, and people of all ethnicities and backgrounds, are not equal to white people.

Yeh.

Totally.

You go buddy.

Anyway, yeah, I can, and do, convert music and video from analog formats to digital files in order for me to archive and listen to whenever and wherever I please. I've actually made a bit of a business out of it, but I don't get too much work from it. At least I'm not overloading myself xD.

I honestly have so much more to say, but I should probably go to sleep soon.

A few final shoutouts to the following people and companies:

-Dollar Tree

-Steven Page

-Broken World Media

-The Island of Misfit Toys

-Simple Kid

-Punchline

-My incredible partner QwQ I love you so much. Thanks for being the best all the time. I hope I can give you the best life ever.

Anyway I suppose this is goodnight. Lmk if you want a full list of the CDs I bought today! I'll link that song by Steven Page here.

And here's a good song from Simple Kid

I really like music lol. Enjoy these pieces.

Anyway, goodnight lol.

Lots of love,

-Leonna.

[jalapeno-princess]

Got7 As Occupations

Mark: Fireman

I don’t know why but Mark just gives me fireman vibes

HE CAN PUT OUT MY FIRE ANY DAY

ANYWAYS

He knew he wanted to be a fireman from the time he could talk

Mark loves helping people in any way he possibly can

He is also the biggest daredevil and loves a challenge

Wakes up early to exercise and prepare himself for the long day ahead of him

Literally everybody on the block knows him because of how kind and helpful he is

Don’t forget extremely attractive

One time he saved his neighbor’s cat from a tree

But he didn’t use a ladder or anything

The little shit climbed up the tree

His clumsy ass almost sprained his ankle but hey at least the cat was safe

Lets kids who visit the firehouse wear his helmet and sometimes even his jacket so they feel cool

Always offers to give tours of the firehouse to Jackson’s students because he loves informing people about the tough work firemen have to go through on a daily basis

All the women in the neighborhood swoon over him even if he’s covered in dust and sweat from work

Can you blame them though

Look @ him

An actual Greek God

Whenever there is a fire, he usually drives the fire truck because of how calm and collected he can be in stressful situations

Will risk his life every single time there is a fire just to make sure everyone else is safe

Gets scolded by Youngjae quite often because he isn’t careful and ends up getting burned a lot

Walks around the firehouse shirtless every day because he claims it’s hot when really he’s just trying to show off his washboard abs

Back to the fact that he’s very clumsy

Falls down the pole ALMOST EVERY SINGLE TIME

To the point where his coworkers made sure he takes the stairs

How can one be so muscular and fit and hot as fuck yet not know how to slide down a pole the world will never know

I was going to make a stripper Mark! but we’re pg13 in this household

Shows off his hose skills to the other firefighters

But ends up whacking himself in the face almost every single time

Honestly he’s the best

Gets promoted to the chief fireman after only a couple of months because he’s been getting a lot of compliments and praise from everyone in the community

Even if being a fireman can get hectic and dangerous sometimes

He wouldn’t change his job for anything else

Jaebum: Policeman

The idea of JB being a policeman drives me insane

HANDCUFF ME PLEASE

Becoming a police officer was the last thing JB thought he would do

But when one of his classmates got mugged and wasn’t able to press charges against the person

He knew he wanted to help out others and throw bad guys in jail

Has a tough and intimidating exterior

But he’s one of the sweetest cops there is

Only when he wants to be though

Most of the time he’s very rough and can get physical when he has to

( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)

If he makes his quota for the day

He does not give a shit about what happens afterwards

Literally

Someone can be speeding or jaywalk right in front of him

And he’ll let them go just because he doesn’t want to file paperwork

I know what y’all are thinking

Yes

He is the typical cop that will stop for donuts and coffee

The girls who work at the bakery always give him pastries for free because who wouldn’t want to give this man free stuff like come on now

And he’ll even visit pet stores on his break

Sometimes he’s a little too nice and let’s everyone go

One time an old man was speeding so he pulled him over

But his heart wouldn’t allow him to give the man a ticket

Holds a gun just for looks because of what happened when he first started training

Accidentally shot a coworker in the shoulder but he’s fine

Will put on his lights and speed just to go home early

Sometimes he’ll wear his uniform even when he’s not working just to make people nervous

And to impress the ladies

He also likes to mess around with people and chase after cars only to turn a corner and act as if nothing ever happened

His mom packs him strawberry milk with his lunches everyday because even if he has this scary and tough exterior, he’s still the biggest mama’s boy

Jackson: Teacher

After watching Jackson on “Let Go of My Baby” he gives me elementary school teacher vibes

And when he was a mentor on produce 101

You can just tell he loves being able to educate and give knowledge to younger people

And he really loves kids

I think he’d be an amazing teacher

His classroom would be decked out

He’d start decorating months before school even started

Spends more money on materials for his students than he does on himself

Will learn the names of every single student in the school

Parents feel very lucky when they find out their child is in his class

Very bright and bubbly

Some of the other teachers are jealous of how amazing he is with the kids

Like

It’s 7 A.M. why are you so energetic my dude

He’ll skip lunch with the other teachers just to eat with the students

Even plays with them at recess

Will give his all in to every single lesson

When he reads a story to the kids

He will use motions and changes the pitch of his voice when needed

Stays after school if there are students who weren’t picked up by their parents

If there is a door contest

This man will make sure to win them and over decorate his door

Makes sure every single student is involved and that they’re all following along

always hands out goodie bags

for

EVERY

SINGLE

HOLIDAY

If someone doesn’t understand something

He’ll have 1 on 1 tutoring sessions with them

If he feels that the students are overwhelmed

he’ll have a free day where they can do whatever they want

Wants nothing but the best for his students

The best teacher 10/10 recommended

Jinyoung: Lawyer

I saw Jinyoung as a teacher too

But for some reason

He also matches being a lawyer because of how intelligent he seems to be

And how he likes to fight with people

also

look at that face

i’d do anything he’d tell me to

Gave up his social life to get in to one of the most prestigious law schools

Graduated with a 3.9 G.P.A which still haunts him to this day

Uses very high vocabulary so that everyone around him feels dumb

Will fight with anyone if he feels that they are wrong

One time he argued with a Starbucks employee because they got his coffee order wrong and started using words like inadequate, incompetent and inept

Poor girl just wanted to go home

Like JB, he wanted to throw the bad guys in jail

He was so good with his words that every single person he went up against went straight to the slammer

Even before the jury got to make their vote everyone knew Jinyoung was going to win the case

Some of the judges get intimidated by him just because they don’t want to upset him

One time a judge disagreed with him

Jinyoung didn’t hesitate to put the man in his place

Poor guy retired early in attempts to not have to deal with him again

Don’t get me wrong

Jinyoung is a very sweet guy and wants nothing but the best for his clients

But don’t mess with him when it comes to his job and work ethic

Reads at least 5 books a day to increase his knowledge

You will find him in the library or at a bookstore when he’s not busy working on a case

One of the top lawyers in the country

Sometimes the courtrooms are packed just because everybody wants to witness the perfection that is Park Jinyoung

Will take a shot before every court session to get rid of his nerves

No matter how intimidating he may seem

He’s actually very shy outside of the courtroom

He is so in to his job that he will go missing for weeks on end to focus on a case

His face alone can get the judge to side with him

Youngjae: Doctor

I feel like he would be the sweetest doctor

One time when he was 8 years old, he got the flu and had to be hospitalized

The in house doctor in the emergency room was so kind and patient with him and got him everything he needed

It was in that moment that Youngjae realized he wanted to take care of people and nurse them back to health

Also

His mom’s doctor was retiring

And he wanted someone he could trust to take care of his mom

So boom

Boy went in to medical school with his momma on his mind

Please Stan Choi Youngjae he deserves the world

Not gonna lie

There were days that the pressure did get to him

Poor boy has seen some shit

He had to sit in on a lot of surgeries

Refused to become a surgeon because he cannot stand the sight of blood

Makes the nurses give the shots to his patients

Even if he’s really young for a doctor, boy knows his stuff

Would constantly get yelled at by stupid people who thought that doctors were miracle workers

No matter how hard he worked

And how quick he tried to be

Some people just could not be satisfied

However

Seeing the smiles from his patients made the job worth it

In the beginning, he would work with people of all ages

But he decided he loved working with kids the most

Plus he didn’t have to worry about their health as much as he did with the elderly

However, he did still help out with patients of all ages if and when he had the time

All the elderly women would squeal about how sweet he is and how dedicated he is to his job

They would even try to set him up with their granddaughters but Youngjae was too busy being a doctor to get in to a relationship

He would always bring food for his receptionists and fellow nurses to eat to thank them for all their hard work

Would say hi to every single patient he saw

Always gave stickers and lollipops to all the kids in the hospital

In his spare time, he would visit those with disabilities and sometimes he would bring gifts like flowers or stuffed animals to brighten their day like the ray of sunshine he is

Even if hospitals are sad and scary sometimes

Youngjae makes things so much brighter

BamBam: Zoo Keeper

Hahahahaha

You know I had to do it to my boy after that one interview in America where he said he’d wanna work at the zoo if he wasn’t in Got7

I was gonna put him down as a fashion designer

But I feel like this would be so much more fun

Growing up surrounded by animals made Bambam want to be around them 24/7

And since there’s an actual job for that

He didn’t hesitate to become a zoo keeper

There were many ups and downs that came with being a zoo keeper which Bambam had to learn the hard way

Like cleaning up elephant poop

Milking the cows

Giving the goats a bath

But at the same time

He loved being able to help the cute animals

No matter how stink and gross their habitats were

One time he slipped and fell in to the hippopotamus tank

He refuses to feed the hippos anymore

He would love to see the smiles on all the kids faces whenever they would see an animal they liked

It reminded him of himself and why he got in to this job

For a while he was the one to close up the zoo and he did a pretty good job at closing down all the exhibits

Unfortunately being the irresponsible guy he was

One night he forgot to lock the tiger cage

So when he came in to work the next morning and there was a tiger nonchalantly walking around

He knew he was in deep shit

He also was scared as fuck because a tiger walking outside of its cage bitch I ain’t got the time

But the weirdest thing happened

Since Bambam was known to spoil the animals

This meant over feeding them when he wasn’t supposed to

The tiger knew who Bambam was and trusted him

Therefore getting it back in to its cage wasn’t too hard

He did get a few scratches but we ain’t gonna talk about it

Some days he would sneak over to the petting zoo

And play with all the animals

He would get really distracted and forget about the tasks at hand

If he wasn’t where he was supposed to be, his coworkers knew where to find him

He loved his job so much he found himself at the zoo on his days off

The rest of the guys stopped hanging out with him because as much as they loved their friend

They were sick and tired of the zoo

Bambam just really loved the animals and hated being away from them

Which is why Jinyoung found one of the monkeys sleeping in his bed and threatened to get Bambam fired but left when he saw how much the monkey meant to his younger friend

Yugyeom: Chef

As much as I wanted to go with a dancer

Because he is so amazing

One of the best don’t @ me

I wanted to try something new for a change

I don’t know why but I can see him as a chef

Boy loves to eat

At first he was very hesitant at becoming a chef

He loved cooking for himself, his friends and his family

And he didn’t want to hate cooking by becoming a professional chef

But it just sorta happened one day and here he was

He first started off as a busboy at his favorite restaurant

And worked his way up to being a waiter

But he knew he didn’t want to just be the wait service

He had a passion and a lot of talent

And he wasn’t going to let it go to waste

He became a line cook and just a few months later after a lot of hard work and practice, he became head chef

He loves being able to cook for people and use his talent for good

His cheeks warm up every time someone compliments him on his cooking

Breaks the rules and doesn’t wear a chefs hat because it “makes him look weird”

Constantly invites the guys over to the restaurant to try his food

Practices dishes at home so he knows what he can do better

At one point his cooking got really popular that the restaurant he was working at started getting busier and busier

People would leave if they found out he wasn’t working

One time Emeril Lagasse contacted him and boy was SHOOK

Like

He didn’t want to sound big headed or anything

Yugyeom knew he was good

But not get contacted by world renowned  chef Emeril Lagasse about a collaboration good

Always tasted his food before sending it to the customer because he wanted nothing but the best quality of food

He got so famous that he even opened his own restaurant

Still hasn’t told the rest of the guys about it in fear of them eating all of the food

Would give out left overs to the homeless people that vacated near the restaurant

Still doesn’t know how to react to the praises he’d receive from the customers

Has his own engraved knife set that Mark got him for Christmas and it’s his most prized possession

Honestly he’s the cutest little chef

[chimchimsauce]

Hit or Miss (1)

In a desperate attempt to rebuke the advances of her overly energetic coworker, YN asks her quiet roommate Jungkook to pretend to be her boyfriend until Taehyung lays off. But YN comes to realize that there's more to the quiet man than she could have ever imagined.

I guess they never miss, huh?

Tag List:  @jeonkookie-oppita 

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Chapter One: Caught in a Lie

As a head full of brightly colored hair comes into view, YN frantically looks around for a place to hide. As she is attempting to squeeze between a bookshelf and the wall, a warm hand lands on her arm.

"What are you doing back there, silly? You're about fifteen years too old to be trying to hide behind bookshelves in the children's section,"

Stifling a sigh, YN pulls herself from her shoddy hiding place and dusts off her polo, pulling on a pathetic looking smile.

"Hello, Taehyung," she says, wishing she'd been paying closer attention to the lock on the wall. She could have been better prepared for his shift to start.

"Good afternoon, gorgeous," he says, winking at her.

"Shouldn't you be clocking in?" YN asks, taking a step to the side in an attempt to increase the space between her and her coworker.

"Ah, I'll do it in a bit. I want to talk to you first. I missed you all weekend long. Why didn't you respond to any of my texts?"

He's pouting now, beautiful face pulled down and brown eyes peeking out from under long lashes. Taehyung is an attractive man, no doubt. He's tall with long legs, has a voice deeper than the Grand Canyon, a jawline that's known to nick people, and a face so handsome he gets stared at on the daily.

But he's also the biggest pain in the ass on the planet. He has no boundaries and shoves himself into whatever he's even remotely interested in. It was charming at first, how he wanted to be in the loop on what was going on in YN's life but he quickly became overbearing and borderline intolerable.

About a month ago, for some reason, Taehyung decided he wanted to elevate himself from obnoxious coworker to obnoxious love interest and YN's had to all but beat him off with a stick. No matter how many ways she can think of turning down his plentiful date suggestions he always comes back with a different idea. YN would flat out reject him but despite his annoying existence, Taehyung is actually a really sweet guy and she doesn't want to hurt his feelings.

"I was busy," she says, scooting away a bit further.

Taehyung only advances.

"You have that sociology exam coming up, right? How's studying going? Need a partner?"

Here comes the bright, boxy smile he's famed for.

"Ah, it's going fine, Tae, thank you. And no, I'm good. I think I'll be fine on my own,"

"Are you sure? I could -"

"Hey, you two!" one of the head supervisors, a middle-aged woman with a hatred for children shouts, "Quit messing around back there and get to work! You don't get paid to make out!"

All the patrons in the library look at the pair in judgment and YN's cheeks heat up. From the supervisor's angle, it probably does look like they're getting into no good.

YN shoves Taehyung away from her harshly and begins to speedwalk away, turning to face him and his shit eating grin as she turns away. She manages to avoid him for the rest of her shift, shoving the awkward encounter from earlier into the depths of her brain and refusing to think about it. Taehyung tries to catch her alone several times but to no avail, the man having to wait until she clocks out to approach her.

“So about that study date -”

“Taehyung!” YN nearly shouts, startling the man.

His signature smile slips off his face, her sudden abrasive attitude taking him by surprise.

“Look I - “ she wets her lips, struggling to come up with an excuse. “I’m really flattered by . . . everything you’ve done recently, but I can’t accept. I have a boyfriend,”

Thank God she’s not a wooden puppet.

“You what? Since when?” he asks, ego a bit bruised.

“Just recently. I’ve been meaning to tell you, but you don’t really let me get anything out,” YN says, feeling proud of her little lie.

“Oh,” Taehyung begins, voice small, “I guess I’ve been making you uncomfortable then,”

“No, not at all,”

Yes! Every day!

“You didn’t know! Don’t feel bad about it,” YN finishes, placing a gentle hand on his shoulder and patting him a few times.

Why didn’t she do this sooner?

“Who is it?” he asks, suddenly perking up.

“Excuse me?”

“Your boyfriend? Who is it?”

“Um,” YN says, mind blanking.

She’s only in her first year and has so far spent the majority of her time studying, working, and sleeping, so she doesn’t have many friends, even fewer who she could pin this on. But there is -

“Jungkook!” YN exclaims, spitting out her elusive roommate’s name before she can think it through.

“Jeon? Jeon Jungkook?” Taehyung asks.

“Ah, yeah,” YN says, feeling like she chose the wrong person based on the look on her co worker’s face, “Do you know him?”

“He’s my best friend,”

Fuck!

Before she can begin backpedaling to save face, Taehyung smiles widely.

“That sly dog! I didn’t know you’re the girl he’s been talking about! He knows we work together, he should have told me,”

YN laughs fakely, nodding her head and stepping down the staircase, already thinking of a way to beg Jungkook to go along with her scheme. In the entirety of the near year the two have shared an apartment, she has spoken maybe fifteen words to the man. All she knows about him is his name, the fact that he’s a senior, and he is an absolute clean freak. He hardly leaves any presence of him in the apartment, no jackets left out, no dirty dishes.

For all she knows, Jungkook doesn’t speak because he hates her guts. Oh, why did she say she’s dating him? No doubt he’ll tell Taehyung that she’s lying and then she’ll never be able to show her face at work or at home. She would have been better off saying she had a sugar daddy or that she was dating the old man who owns the antique shop in town.

“Well have a good rest of the day, YN. See you tomorrow, eh? And oh, I was serious about the study thing. If you really do need some help, let me know. I had a near perfect score in that course,”

“Okay, thank you,” she replies, waving quickly before dashing away down the sidewalk.

By the time she arrives at the apartment complex and runs up the stairs she’s completely out of breath, hands pressed onto her knees as she struggles to take in oxygen. Her hands shake as she fishes around her bag for her keys, dropping them twice before she manages to unlock the door.

Just like always, the apartment is dead silent and spotless, not a thing out of place. She throws her bag on the floor with a loud thump, leaning against the wall as she tries to even out her breathing.

“Jungkook!”

A very tired and somewhat alarmed looking man emerges from his bedroom, hair all mused and sweats wrinkled from where he no doubt had been sleeping.

“What?” he asks, voice lower than it usually is as exhaustion clogs him.

“I - I need a favor,” she says, finally being able to stand up straight without feeling like she’s gonna pass out.

“What?” he repeats, slightly annoyed.

“You know Taehyung, right? He said you’re friends,”

“You woke me up to ask about Taehyung?” he asks, irritation skyrocketing.

“N - no. I, well basically, Taehyung’s been pestering me a lot over the last month, trying to get me to date him and such and -”

“Can you get on with it?”

Things are not going well. Jungkook looks like he’s exactly three seconds from walking back into the bedroom and slamming the door behind him.

“I’m sorry. It’s just that I accidentally told Taehyung that I was dating you,”

Jungkook lifts a single eyebrow and YN blushes, completely embarrassed.

“I’m so sorry. I was just trying to get him to back off and you were the first person I could think of. I didn’t know you knew him and now it’s this big mess and I don’t know what to do. Could you just go along with it? Just for a little while? Just pretend? Please,” YN asks, legitimately begging him.

“Okay,” he says, turning to head back to his bedroom.

“Wait, really?” YN asks, shocked.

They may be roommates but they’re also strangers. There’s no reason for him to agree to this.

“Did you want me to say no?” he questions, pausing to look back at her.

“I’m just . . . I expected you to,”

“Well, I didn’t. Look, can we finish talking about this later? I just got back home from work and I’m exhausted,”

“Yeah, sure,” YN says, watching the door click close gently behind him.

“What the hell just happened?” she whispers under her breath, shaking her head and moving to the fridge.

She needs a drink.

Chapter Two

[c-is-for-circinate]

An M9 major arc breakdown: part 1

Arc 1: Who the fuck are you? (I think we might be mercenaries??): episodes 1-25

I was going to do a nice gloss over what I see as the four major arcs of the Mighty Nein story so far in one post, and then I realized that I am (*ahem*) long-winded, we’ll say.  And there’s a lot to be said!

Instead, a separate post for each arc, why not.  [I will stick links to parts 2-4 here when they’re written and posted!]

So: arc 1.  Covering 24 episodes and, according to critrole stats, about 35 in-game days, this arc manages to be both one of the longest and one of the shortest.  It covers levels 2-5, and everything from the first meeting in Trostenwald all the way through leaving Hupperdook.  It’s a lot!  And I thought a lot about trying to split it up, but the more I looked for a breaking point in these episodes, the more every possible division felt really arbitrary, and reinforced the idea that this chunk of episodes has the same theme at the center all the way through.

The arc of these episodes is specifically the progression of the Mighty Nein from not being a thing at all to maybe, sort of, somehow being a thing.  It’s full of great character moments, and lays the groundwork for, I suspect, pretty much every important thing to happen throughout the entire campaign, (with the possible exception of some of Caduceus’s stuff, but even then, I have suspicions), because Matt is Good At His Shit.  It’s also super interesting in terms of the entire show, because even though it establishes everything, the unsteady conclusion it seems to reach about who the M9 might be or might become gets almost completely (seemingly) thrown out the window by the very next arc--but more about that in the next arc’s post.

In this arc I think we need to take just a moment to get meta in terms of players vs characters, because this is the one part of the story so far where that division is actually, actively important.  There’s two big reasons for that.  One, the players are still learning who their own characters are, even as the characters are learning each other.  Two, there is one single, central, and encompassingly important fact that the players all know that the characters don’t, and resolving that disconnect shapes the tone of this entire arc.

The members of the Mighty Nein are going to be together for a very long and very epic journey.  It’s a fact.  Even if individual characters die or choose to leave, the group itself is destined for something big, because everybody at that table has every intention of playing straight through to level 20 all over again.  What’s more, everybody at that table is already family in nearly every real-life way that matters.  The audience knows that this group is going to be something special, expects them to become family in their own right before they’ve even met.  The DM knows.  The world itself probably knows, in-game--a group of strangers meet in Trostenwald and somewhere on her celestial plane, the Raven Queen is probably watching a bunch of fate-threads tangle together and make a mess of her pretty fate tapestry all over again.  The only people who don’t know how meaningful this group is going to be, to the world or to its own members, are the characters themselves.

And that leads to a fascinating dynamic, where these characters run into each other in Trostenwald, and then stay together for reasons even they can’t necessarily fully explain.  They never sit down and say, “okay, let’s be mercenaries together”--they get kicked out of Trostenwald and say, “I guess let’s go to Zadash together, maybe?”, and then they just...never break up.  The number one question for the whole first chunk of this arc is, “Why am I even with these assholes?”  Sure, the easy answer is, “because the players have decided the characters are going to be,” but that’s boring and kind of besides the point.  Yes the players have decided that the characters are going to be together--and that creates a story where the characters and the players both have to figure out why as they go along.

.

The way this plays out is different for each character, but there are some commonalities:

Caleb and Nott both have long-term goals, and even though neither of them knows it at first, they both have the same long-term goal: somehow get back to the way the world used to be.   The trouble is, this is a really distant goal for both of them, something that requires the kind of intense magic they don’t understand and barely even believe in.  Their short-term goals are a much more basic ‘survive and also keep this other person alive long enough to figure out how to achieve that long-term goal’, and that’s what they say they’ve signed up with the rest of the group for.  It’s a relatively simple answer that ends up getting ever more complicated in reality.

Caleb and Nott’s relationships with the group actually parallel each other a lot at this early stage, and it isn’t just because they come as a prepackaged duo.  Both of their long-term goals have an undercurrent of desperate loneliness that they’ve each been living with since their lives fell apart.  In theory, getting what they’re after will help fix that one way or another--but in the mean time, suddenly they’re surrounded by people, and they can’t help but care.  They just also don’t trust the rest of the group, because how do you trust people at all, ever?  Nobody’s been particularly kind to either of them since everything went to shit, and if the universe had any kindness to begin with it never would’ve happened in the first place.  But there’s this undercurrent of...maybe, if they learned to love and trust this group, they’d find out they don’t need what they’re trying to get to begin with, because they’ve already got the secure love and acceptance they’re really craving.  Maybe.  Certainly neither of them have started to figure that out yet.  They can barely admit to liking their compatriots at all.

What’s even more tricky is that neither of them actually have much of a plan for getting from their short-term survival goals towards their long-term goals.  Nott literally doesn’t know how Caleb could turn her back into a halfling--she just has faith that he can, if he gets powerful enough, and it leads to things like the stolen letter for an academy Caleb would not set foot in again for all the love or money in the world.  Caleb is so bad at bridging the gap between what’s in front of him in this world right now, and the big nebulous world-shattering Thing he wants to eventually achieve.  After all, what’s in front of Caleb right now doesn’t matter, or it won’t once he twists the whole world into a new shape anyway--except that it is in front of him right now, and needs to be survived and dealt with, somehow, and that’s distracting in its own right.  So the whole first arc is full of moments like Caleb trying to take the spell scroll and Nott trying to steal Fjord’s letter, where they’re grabbing at an apparent immediate step towards their long-term goals at the expense of the people around them, and maybe even to the detriment of those ultimate aims.

Basically, for Caleb and Nott, being with this group is supposed to be a means to an end--but they don’t really know how being with this group is going to help them achieve that end, they’re just...pretty sure it will.  Somehow.  They’re definitely eating better now, and maybe if Caleb gets into that library it’ll help, or something, maybe, he hopes.  The unspoken question for Caleb and Nott both, as Arc 1 progresses, is--do they actually think being with the group is going to help them achieve those all-important goals, or do they just like being here?  Nott will follow Caleb anywhere, because he’s her way out of this goblin life, but she doesn’t encourage him to leave to progress somewhere else.  Caleb argues with himself when he’s alone, but he always stays in the end.  Is it practicality?  Is there a plan?  Or did they just accidentally fall in with a group of people they actually like, and the group’s constant shenanigans are a useful distraction from having to admit what they're apparently willing to sacrifice for the sake of being here rather than alone?

Fjord and Jester, meanwhile, both claim to have long-term goals, but they sure don’t show any indication that they care about pursuing them.  Which makes sense, because Jester and Fjord show up in Trostenwald with personal quests that are devoted to a very nebulous, hypothetical sort of belonging (contrast with Caleb and Nott, who want to belong in very specific ways, in places they once already lived).  Their worlds have both fallen apart, too, but far more recently and a little less dramatically.  They’re not looking to get back to what they once had, they’re looking to replace it.

Or, to be more specific: Fjord’s entire adult life thus far has been defined by his job.  Being a sailor wasn’t just his profession, it was his identity.  It’s what he did; it’s where he lived; it’s where he found the only person who ever really cared about him or called him family; it’s where he found his self-worth and his social worth, the first and only place he ever felt valuable to anyone else in the community or the world at large.  Heading up to the Soltryce Academy to figure out what’s up with this sword is about finding a whole new self, with a new purpose, a new job, a new person who can tell him what he’s good at and good for and where he belongs now.

Jester’s entire life has been defined by her mom.  Marion is her entire world.  Jester literally doesn’t know anybody outside the Lavish Chateau, and aside from the Traveller, the few people who do know she exists at all are servants or coworkers of her mother.  Jester’s world is tiny, with Marion at the center of it.  If Fjord’s self-worth is caught up in his job and what he does, Jester’s is entirely determined by making people joyful and happy, and the only two people she’s ever really had the chance to please in that way are her mother and the Traveler.  So she’s looking for her other parent, to replace the one thing she’s always had right there.

In many ways, the particulars of what Fjord and Jester are pursuing don’t actually matter that much.  Fjord doesn’t need the Soltryce to give him a job or a purpose.  He jumps headfirst into the mercenary business almost overnight; they’ve been in Zadash less than a week before he’s chatting with the Gentleman about professional networking like a man who’s about to pull out his company business cards.  Jester doesn’t need a dad, she just needs people to love her and be delighted by her presence.  It turns out that this team of people just so happens to address that core need for both of them, and that’s enough for Jester and Fjord.  They’re in this head first.

The thing about Fjord and Jester is, though, neither of them are asking any questions about the long term either.  Because rolling with the Mighty Nein is hitting all the right buttons to get at the root of what they need, they’re both super blase about letting certain details go without question.  Why does Fjord have these new powers he’s now starting to understand?  What kind of relationship does Jester actually want with a parent?  And where does the rest of the group see this whole situation going in the next weeks, months, years?  Jester and Fjord aren’t asking--and that makes sense too, because if they’re not asking, then they don’t have to face the answers.  If Fjord doesn’t ever make it to Soltryce, nobody can tell him he’s not good enough, and if Jester never quite gets around to meeting her father, she doesn’t have to find out why he never came back.  If they don’t ask questions about the group, maybe nobody will ever remember to leave.

Beau and Molly would be so pissed at being grouped together here, which is not actually why I did it, but is a nice additional nuance.  (Part of why they hate each other so much is because they’ve got a lot in common deep down--they both care very deeply and project an image of not caring very much at all, and it pisses both of them off constantly.)  The truth is, Beau and Molly are both with the Mighty Nein because they literally have nowhere else to go.   Caleb and Nott are trying to regain their old lives; Fjord and Jester are trying to replace their old lives; but Molly and Beau don’t really have lives besides this, or at least not lives they’d admit to.

These two are the closest thing to Professional Criminals in the group when it all gets started--Nott and Caleb might steal and con to survive, but for Beau and Molly it’s been an actual job, with coworkers and workplace etiquette, and bigger heists with full crews arguably similar to the M9 in the past.  The circus was Molly’s everything and it got smashed to bits within the first four episodes, but the core Mollymauk of it all means that his life fundamentally doesn’t change with its loss.  He is still on the road skipping from place to place, living out of bedrolls and carts and inns if there’s good luck; he’s still slinging bullshit and the odd con, doing a good turn when he can and keeping an eye out for coin; he’s still messing around with a couple of swords, trying not to get beat up or thrown in jail or run out of town, killing a bit when necessary; he’s still embedded in the middle of a group of walking disaster weirdos full of Issues and interpersonal conflict who somehow have to live together and rely on each other with all their broken bits and strangeness.  Beau played local contact for every reasonably-sized crew of criminals to come through Kamordah, and not a one of them ever kept her around for the long haul, but she knows seedy underbellies and she knows how to punch people for pay and she knows about honor among thieves and she knows how to trust fundamentally untrustworthy people just exactly as far as she can throw them.

So just the basic everyday operation of being part of the Mighty Nein, the important job skills and general lifestyle, is more in line with what Beau and Molly have already been doing than it is for anyone else in the group.  There’s also less conflict with their overarching long-term life goals.  Neither of them have any, besides ‘keep doing this as long as I can’.  I don’t think either Molly or Beau have any real vision of what a future even looks like, Beau because she’s young and too busy rebelling against to think about building towards, Molly because with no real past he barely even has a concept of change or becoming anything other than what he is.  The most either of them can really picture would be a life they don’t want: the Proper Lionett Daughter or Lucien Whoever-The-Fuck.  Those are nightmare scenario lives that belong to other people, and Beau and Molly will run from them literally as far and as fast as they can.

While Caleb and Nott are avoiding the question of “is this group really going to help me get what I want?” (because the answer might mean they should leave, and they want to stay); and Fjord and Jester are avoiding the question of “should I actually try to find the thing I came looking for in the first place?” (because real answers are so much scarier than unsolved questions); Beau and Molly are determinedly avoiding the high school guidance counselor question question of “where do you see yourself in five years?”.  They have no long-term plans, and neither of them want any.  What they’ve got going on right here is good.  They don’t have to be alone (which Beau has been all her life, and Molly has never been once, and they both want so badly to avoid).  They get to stay in constant motion, running and fighting and drinking and earning money and occasionally experimenting with illegal ethereal-plane-enhancing substances, and that’s just fine.

Yasha doesn’t quite fit in with anyone else because Yasha is gone so damn much, but also because she doesn’t quite match any of the categories.  Her whole life fell apart, just like practically everyone else’s, but she’s not trying to get it back, and she’s not trying to replace it.  And Yasha does have somewhere else to be, a path she thinks maybe she ought to be following if she could just figure out where it is.  She keeps coming back because Molly is the closest thing she has to family; she keeps coming back because fate keeps bumping her into the group and saying she should; she keeps coming back because it’s good coin and easy killing-things work and they’ll have her; she keeps coming back because she likes them, because Caleb is awkward with people but lends her his cat, because Jester is bright and smiling and also loves flowers, because Beau fights next to her and Fjord respects her and Nott gave her flowers once, and that matters.

.

As Arc 1 progresses, as the players get to know their characters better and the characters get to know each other, they begin to collectively answer “Why am I with this group?” with another question: “Just what is this group, anyway?”.  It’s a little out of order and a little bit of a mess, just like the party itself, just like life, but the truth is that the members of the Nein find themselves more or less attached to this merry little band before they’ve even really defined what said band is.  The characters become a group by accident, by fate, by will of the players, because they’re all desperate for things and avoiding things and because why not.  Many decisions about what kind of group they become, though, are a lot more deliberate.  

‘Mercenary’ is the first thing they pick up, and they specifically don’t choose it for themselves.  (It’s also the first thing they lose when the next arc starts, or maybe at the very end of this one.)  They roll into Allfield in the middle of a gnoll attack, and Bryce offers cash for gnoll ears before they can even ask ‘what’s in it for us?’.  They already had weapons in hand to deal with the threat--it’s impossible to say what the team would’ve done without that offer, and they were all broke as fuck and badly in need of money anyway--but they didn’t present themselves as swords-for-hire until someone was already asking to hire them.

Allfield teaches them that they can be mercenaries (and gives them an excuse to stay as a group), while Zadash begins to teach them what kind of mercenaries they want to be.  It becomes very clear very quickly that this group does not like institutions of power (something I’ve already written about at length).  They do a single job for the crownsguard and then immediately turn around and start working with back-tavern insurgents and underground smugglers.  While their individual opinions may vary, collectively they do Not Like The Empire.

They also establish themselves as a group that does not trust in general, either the outside world or each other--and furthermore, a group that will push and investigate and uncover answers every time a mystery pops up.  They don’t take the Knights of Requital at face value, they investigate around the back end; they track down the Gentleman just because he’s there.  They demand answers from each other, from Molly baiting a trap to catch Nott stealing from Fjord to the whole group teaming up to demand ‘Lucien’ explain himself.  Caleb doesn’t trust Callie, and Beau doesn’t trust Caleb, and nobody trusts Fjord’s stone-swallowing, and there’s no resolution, only more questions.

Likewise, they are not trustworthy.  While they take jobs and generally deliver on what they pay for, they also ad-lib and change direction for their own benefit, and their loyalty to their employers is debatable at best.  The argument over the spell scrolls in the High Richter’s house is a major division at the time, but by the time they’re clearing out necromancy for the Gentleman, nobody really sides against stealing the journal or Yasha’s sword.  They just come up with a plan together to cheat the Gentleman effectively.  When they clear out the merrow in his safehouse in the swamp, they have no problem taking as much of his stuff as they can.  They are out for themselves, and the jobs they take are a means to their own ends, not particularly important in and of themselves.

The M9 feel very small, as a group, in the face of a world that’s very big, and we see that tie back in with the past two points over and over again.  So much of the Zadash part of the arc involves the stirrings and edges of the war with Xhorhas, and the Nein’s almost instant response of, okay, we want to stay as FAR FROM THAT AS POSSIBLE.  The major powers of the world are big enough to crush them, and they are afraid of that--but, the attitude seems to go, the major powers of the world are also big enough to miss noticing them, and that matters too.  They steal the dodecahedron and disappear off into the shadows because they know it means something huge, and that’s scary, and therefore grabbing this piece of it might somehow protect them or the world in the long run.  They’re able to do it because they’re small, because in this clash of international titans they’re still nobody.

Lastly, this group desperately wants to be doing something moral, they just don’t necessarily know how.  They debate over whether the Knights of Requital are good guys, over whether they should help the crown, over the right thing to do with the Krynn assassin.  They are so much more comfortable working for the Gentleman, who’s a criminal right there on the surface but doesn’t appear to be actively hurting anybody, than assisting the local law.  Even when it’s not a job, or maybe even more when it’s not a job, they find themselves going out of their way to be good people: rescuing Kiri, helping Callie, finding ways to help Horace and Dolan after the attack on the spire explodes everything.  For a group of self-proclaimed mercenaries, there’s a constant undercurrent of...should we be doing this?  Is this the right thing to do?  Should we totally betray our employers because that’s the right thing to do?  They’re not loyal to anybody in particular, except maybe each other, but they’re struggling to find some kind of ideal or guiding principle to be loyal to.

All of this culminates in Hupperdook.  The group is finally unbending a little, coming to trust each other that little bit more.  Beau talks about her childhood, and Caleb says Astrid’s name, and Nott says Yeza’s, and Fjord talks about the orphanage where he grew up.  They go down into a prison to fight a whirling death-robot, and it’s sort of because Rissa’s dad promised them a reward but also sort of because Rissa is Theirs Now, and more than anything it’s to save the parents of a bunch of penniless near-orphans.  It’s a way to say fuck you! to the Imperial system; it’s a way to combine two jobs at once for their own purposes.  It is above all a very new-feeling exploration of the idea that, small or not, they can in fact actually make a meaningful difference in the world.  They have power, and that power can be used for good.  

It’s by far the least mercenary-like job they’ve taken.  Between the bail money they pay for the Schuesters and the additional cash they leave with them to take care of Kiri, they probably spend half as much on the whole endeavor as that new fancy crossbow was worth to begin with.  They did something good, and it feels better and more right than all their fumbling maybes.

Aside from Trostenwald, where crisis came to them and the whole story was about getting themselves out of trouble, Allfield and Hupperdook very much bookend this arc, and that makes a lot of sense, because there’s a very similar feeling to both jobs.  They’ve done something dangerous, and saved lives, and helped people--regular, good people who hadn’t hurt anyone to get into the situations they were in.  They made some profit doing it.  Those things are not mutually exclusive, and maybe, maybe they can build something of a career path out of finding the places where they intersect.

This first arc doesn’t exactly conclude--because with an ongoing show like this, nothing ever quite concludes--so much as it reaches a point where many of its primary themes and issues begin to look as though they could, in theory, someday be resolved.  There’s a visible path ahead that combines altruism and self-interest.  The group members are talking to each other, slowly and carefully.  There are still a lot of unanswered questions about who everyone is and what they want, but it seems like the group might just be heading in a direction towards those questions at least eventually getting asked.

It’s maybe the most optimistic place the group’s been in so far, which is of course why this is the point where everything in the whole world comes crashing down--but that’s for the next arc.

[frighthouseofalighthouse]

I'M GONNA DO IT TO EM' ALL ASKS THAT YOU REBLOG TONIGHT TILL 10 AM TOMORROW.... DO THEM!!!!

Hey, you had to do it to ‘em! Here they are starting with the most recent.

“Weird asks that say a lot”

1. coffee mugs, teacups, wine glasses, water bottles, or soda cans?

Coffee mugs because you can use them for everything. Teacups are too small for a proper cuppa.

2. chocolate bars or lollipops?

Chocolate bars always.

3. bubblegum or cotton candy?

Bubblegum, which I miss so much. I haven’t had it in over 2 years bc of my braces

4. how did your elementary school teachers describe you?

I didn’t go to public school but all the adults who dealt with me said I was sociable and tried to get everyone to do the group projects but no one listened so I ended up sitting alone reading and quietly doing the project.

5. do you prefer to drink soda from soda cans, soda bottles, plastic cups or glass cups?

Glass BOTTLES make it taste superior.

6. pastel, boho, tomboy, preppy, goth, grunge, formal or sportswear?

Pastel boho preppy goth best describes my style.

7. earbuds or headphones?

Earbuds, but only rubber tipped ones. The plastic ones never fit in my ears. Also headphones never cover my whole ear right. :/

8. movies or tv shows?

TV shows keep my attention span better.

9. favorite smell in the summer?

Brewing thunderstorms.

10. game you were best at in p.e.?

None. But trampoline if I had to pick.

11. what you have for breakfast on an average day?

Scrambled eggs, peanut butter toast, and some kind of fruit.

12. name of your favorite playlist?

My main one is Things You Love. My one for writing is Queen And Country, and my other two favorites are Summer Songs and A Queen Knows How To Fight A War.

13. lanyard or key ring?

Key ring, lanyards get in the way.

14. favorite non-chocolate candy?

Swedish Fish or Sour Patch Kids.

15. favorite book you read as a school assignment?

OH MAN. To Kill A Mockingbird, The Great Gatsby, Fahrenheit 451, The Grapes Of Wrath, and The Handmaid’s Tale were definitely my top 5 in English class.

16. most comfortable position to sit in?

Curled up sideways in an armchair with my legs slung over the arm. Sitting normally sucks.

17. most frequently worn pair of shoes?

Either pair of my black boots, or my pink floral Skechers that I wear to work.

18. ideal weather?

60 degrees, cloudy, windy, with a chance of rain.

19. sleeping position?

On my right side, arms around a fluffy pillow, one leg out straight and the other drawn up with my knee to my chest.

20. preferred place to write (i.e., in a note book, on your laptop, sketchpad, post-it notes, etc.)?

Laptop. I’m trying to exercise my hand and wrist so I don’t tire as quick of notebook writing, though.

21. obsession from childhood?

History, Nancy Drew books, Harry Potter, and ghost stories.

22. role model?

The person I am but don’t think I am.

23. strange habits?

Pulling my shirt collar up over my nose and mouth/putting it in my mouth and chewing on it.

24. favorite crystal?

Amethyst, my birthstone! Close second is blue goldstone. (Have you ever seen it? It looks like the universe. I have a worrystone made of blue goldstone and it’s one of my prized possessions.)

25. first song you remember hearing?

Something from church probably. Outside of church probably one of these: If I Had A Hammer // Peter, Paul and Mary, Puff The Magic Dragon // Peter, Paul and Mary, Scarborough Fair // Simon & Garfunkel, The Wreck of the Edmund Fitzgerald // Gordon Lightfoot.

26. favorite activity to do in warm weather?

Sit in the shade.

27. favorite activity to do in cold weather?

Drink tea, read, and play either Pokemon or Nancy Drew and the Clue Benders Society on my 3DS.

28. five songs to describe you?

The Pines // Roses & Revolutions, I Am Here // Pink, Walk Me Home // Pink, Call Home // Heathers (not the musical), Traveler’s Song // Aviators

29. best way to bond with you?

Talk to me about history, crime, musicals, books, or tv shows

30. places that you find sacred?

Natural swamps. Libraries. Old, overgrown gardens. Anywhere historic. Pine forests at dusk. Anywhere under a clear night sky.

31. what outfit do you wear to kick ass and take names?

A plaid shirt, black leggings, and black boots with dark neutral lipstick and a black choker.

32. top five favorite vines?

Fre she vocado, BENTLEY NOOOOO, uhhh I sure hope it does, the one of Lin Manuel-Miranda trying to brainstorm, and this bitch empty YEEt

33. most used phrase in your phone?

Idk how to find this out

34. advertisements you have stuck in your head?

Idk if this is just a local thing here but WOW ITS NATURESTONE

35. average time you fall asleep?

12-1 nowadays.

36. what is the first meme you remember ever seeing?

I can haz cheezburger

37. suitcase or duffel bag?

Depends. Suitcase for things like my laptop that are better protected than in a duffel bag, but duffel bag otherwise because they’re easier to carry.

38. lemonade or tea?

TEAAAAA

39. lemon cake or lemon meringue pie?

Both please

40. weirdest thing to ever happen at your school?

My house? We had a safe word when we did math. It was “quokka.” If we got overwhelmed we’d say it and then stop and look at pictures of quokkas.

41. last person you texted?

My friend and coworker.

42. jacket pockets or pants pockets?

Jacket pockets.

43. hoodie, leather jacket, cardigan, jean jacket or bomber jacket?

Cardigan or hoodie

44. favorite scent for soap?

Lavender

45. which genre: sci-fi, fantasy or superhero?

Fantasy. It takes me a bit to get into fantasy books usually, but sci-fi is hard to follow and superhero is mostly predictable.

46. most comfortable outfit to sleep in?

Fuzzy pants and a t shirt

47. favorite type of cheese?

Muenster, parmesan, or goat cheese

48. if you were a fruit, what kind would you be?

Raspberry

49. what saying or quote do you live by?

“I have no country to fight for. My country is the earth, and I am a citizen of this world.” - Eugene V. Debs

50. what made you laugh the hardest you ever have?

A weird local political ad a couple years back.

51. current stresses?

My recent breakup, an overnight shift I work on Wednesday night, and trying to find time to go out to a corn maze with my friend.

52. favorite font?

Baskerville or Georgia.

53. what is the current state of your hands?

Covered in small cuts and scrapes from work, nails picked short, black nail polish mostly peeled off.

54. what did you learn from your first job?

babysitting job: Kids suck never have more than one. Retail job: being on your fee it hardddd

55. favorite fairy tale?

Beauty and the Beast or Rapunzel

56. favorite tradition?

Looking at Halloween decorations

57. the three biggest struggles you’ve overcome?

Cutting, being manipulated by my dad, and letting other people make me believe I wasn’t good enough (still working on that one)

58. four talents you’re proud of having?

Writing, puzzle-solving, singing, and calligraphy

59. if you were a video game character, what would your catchphrase be?

“Oh shit waddup”

60. if you were a character in an anime, what kind of anime would you want it to be?

One of those preppy gothic private school animes with a dark secret lurking around the corner

61. favorite line you heard from a book/movie/tv show/etc.?

Book: “Ignoring isn’t the same as ignorance. You have to work at it.” - The Handmaid’s Tale. Movie: “It’s not about deserve. It’s about what you believe. And I believe in love.” - Wonder Woman. TV Show: “I am the Bad Wolf. I create myself.” - Doctor Who.

62. seven characters you relate to?

Hermione Granger, Luna Lovegood, Remus Lupin, Richard Gansey III, Blue Sargent, Dean Winchester, Charlie Bradbury.

63. five songs that would play in your club?

Same five that I said describe me.

64. favorite website from your childhood?

Webkinz and the old American Girl site circa 2009.

65. any permanent scars?

One down my chest from heart surgery as a baby, lots from self harm on my arms/legs, some on my left knee from falling as a kid, and one on the back of my right heel from being pecked by a goose at the fair when I was 11.

66. favorite flower(s)?

Sunflowers, roses, and dahlias.

67. good luck charms?

Myself.

68. worst flavor of any food or drink you’ve ever tried?

Ranch anything.

69. a fun fact that you don’t know how you learned?

Jellyfish have no brains and no heart.

70. left or right handed?

I’m third generation left handed!

71. least favorite pattern?

Vertical stripes.

72. worst subject?

Math.

73. favorite weird flavor combo?

Wendy’s fries and chocolate frosty.

74. at what pain level out of ten (1 through 10) do you have to be at before you take an advil or ibuprofen?

7. Usually I just ignore it because I have a “high pain tolerance” (which means I like to put myself through minor pains because I think I deserve it)

75. when did you lose your first tooth?

Age 5. I was trying to blow up an inflatable ball and it came out.

76. what’s your favorite potato food (i.e. tater tots, baked potatoes, fries, chips, etc.)?

ALL POTATOES EXCEPT POTATO SALAD

77. best plant to grow on a windowsill?

Violets.

78. coffee from a gas station or sushi from a grocery store?

Neither, both suck equally.

79. which looks better, your school id photo or your driver’s license photo?

Never had a school id so I guess the license

80. earth tones or jewel tones?

Earth tones for me

81. fireflies or lightning bugs?

...They are literally the same thing

82. pc or console?

PC

83. writing or drawing?

Writing. I absolutely cannot draw.

84. podcasts or talk radio?

Podcasts, talk radio is so obnoxious.

84. barbie or polly pocket?

Barbie. The clothes are easier to take on and off. I used to accidentally rip polly pocket clothes all the time.

85. fairy tales or mythology?

Mythology. I like it because it explains things, it’s creation stories, its origins. Fairy tales are just fantasies or cautionary tales.

86. cookies or cupcakes?

Cookies.

87. your greatest fear?

Rejection, drowning, and clowns.

88. your greatest wish?

To be a semi-successful author and historian.

89. who would you put before everyone else?

My mom.

90. luckiest mistake?

Not succeeding in killing myself!

91. boxes or bags?

Bags.

92. lamps, overhead lights, sunlight or fairy lights?

Dim lamps if they have yellow bulbs. I hate white lights. And also fairy lights yes please.

93. nicknames?

Ellie, Ell, Little Lion, Lioness.

94. favorite season?

FALLLLL

95. favorite app on your phone?

Tumblr, Spotify, or Instagram.

96. desktop background?

97. how many phone numbers do you have memorized?

6.

98. favorite historical era?

Revolutionary War-era America or late Victorian England.

THIS GOT REALLY LONG AND I DONT WANNA HIT THE TEXT BLOCK LIMIT SO IMMA DO ALL THE HALLOWEEN ONES SEPARATELY, MAYBE IN THE MORNING.

[sizzlingvoidnerd]

how do you write like you're running out of time? chapter 1

Summary: Alexander keeps leaving his own original works on the shelfs of the library and John is a librarian who reads his stories and is starting to form a crush on Alexander. I suck at summaries. Based of off a prompt. Lams. Based of off this prompt that I unfortunately can't find anymore: "I'm a librarian and you keep leaving your original works on the shelf and these stories are great but you should really publish these before sticking them in the library." If anyone knows who posted this prompt, please tell me so I can credit them.

There he was again. Every week or so the dark haired beauty came to the library to borrow a couple of books. Every so often he would leave one of his own original works on the shelves. The first time John realized someone was putting their own books on the shelves was when a middle-aged woman came to him complaining about not being able to scan a book. After looking through the library's archives he found that the library didn't own that book nor anything from the writer, Alexander Hamilton. After trying to explain the situation to the woman and apologizing repeatedly, John was finally able to take a break and left the book on his desk, deciding to take care of it later. After his break Lafayette needed his help and Hercules stopped by, distracting John for the rest of the afternoon. John had shift until eleven p.m. that day, Lafayette was clocked out around six o'clock and John was stuck with Samuel Seabury for the rest of the night. To say John and Samuel didn't get along was an understatement and in order to keep everything civil they tried to avoid each other as much as possible. That being said, his shift was very boring, not many people went to the library at that time and John had no one to talk to. As John looked around for something to do he saw the book lying there, having nothing else to do, John picked up the book and started reading, soon fully captivated by this Alexander Hamilton’s writing. The second time, John saw Hamilton put a book on the fantasy shelf. Instead of confronting him, John decided to wait until Hamilton, who by the way looked like he just stepped out of some fashion magazine, with his hair done up in a bun and wearing a very fitting suit, left the library. When he did John grabbed the new book and again he found himself being drawn in by Alexander’s writing. From that day on, John kept an eye out for Alexander, and over time John started to notice little things about Him, like the way he somehow always looked tired, like he never got a full night of sleep, though, then again, with how many book he read and the fact that he must spent a lot of time writing as well, it really shouldn't be that surprising. John noticed how Alexander could apparently pull off just about anything. Some days he would wear a hoodie and sweatpants and look adorable, on others he would wear a suit and look breathtakingly hot, sometimes he would just wear a button up with the sleeves rolled up to his elbows, John suspected that Alexander did that just to annoy John with his beauty. He noticed how some days Alexander looked like he was on a mission, looking at all kinds of nonfiction books and usually going home with a very large pile of books, books that he would usually return only a few days later. On other days Alexander would take his time, looking through some nonfiction books, though on those days he would mostly look at fiction. He'd look through everything, from thrillers to romance stories to fantasy books, on those days he would go home with about two or three books and when he'd return them it would be quite obvious that he didn't sleep much. He looked happier on those days. John sometimes saw how Alexander started to shine when he had found a good book and expected Alexander to be the kind of person who could go on and on about a good book. John also kept reading the books Alexander left behind, he wrote all kinds of books, all belonging in different categories and all were amazing. He even wrote one book about working as a journalist, it was very interesting what with Alexander obviously having poured all of his anger towards his work and his coworkers, mostly a Jefferson. He had wrote about how annoying it was that Burr would never let his own opinion show, making all of his articles, in Alexander’s opinion, very boring. About how much of an asshole Jefferson is, always thinking he's better than everyone, boasting about how great he is. Long story short, John figured that Alexander a journalist was and that he wasn't not too fond of his job. This lead to John looking him up online and finding out that Alexander had a way of making the most boring stories sound interesting. Over time, John had formed quite a big crush on this Alexander. It kind of scared him actually, having grown up in an extremely homophobic environment. John had come out to his father six years ago when he was eighteen years old and had saved enough money to get himself a small apartment when his father had disowned him and kicked him out of the house. John had expected this to happen and had planned everything, this didn't mean it didn't hurt though, somewhere he had hoped his father wouldn't react like he had just told him he had killed a man, oh well, you can't have everything. Now he lived in a small apartment in New York, he worked at the library, he liked working at the library, he could read as many books as he wanted and it paid decently. He had a couple of friends here, he was finally comfortable with who he was and everything was pretty great, still, crushes scared him, dating scared him. After his father showed such blatant disgust towards what was such a big part of him, John became very scared of even the possibility of someone he liked doing the same. Today though, John was going to talk to Alexander, he gathered all of his confidence and walked up to Alexander. “Uhm, hi.” John said, awkwardly waving is hand in a manner that reminded him of ‘hi, Zuko here’. “Uhm, so, I am a librarian here and I noticed you keep leaving your own original works on the shelves and, uhh, well, I mean these are really good, but you should really publish them before sticking them in the library…” he trailed of, well that went better than he had expected honestly. “Oh, uh, yeah thanks. Do you really think they’re good though?” Alexander asked, blushing a bright red. He couldn't help it, the boy, John Laurens, his name tag said, had caught him of guard. Plus, he wasn't really used to being complemented, and especially not by someone this cute. Sure, Washington sometimes complemented him, but that was it. Everyone else just thought he was annoying and surely this John would too once he got to know him. He really hoped not though, he didn't have any friends, well besides Burr, but Burr wasn't really a friend. Plus this guy was really cute, with his bushy hair and what seem like millions of freckles and his adorable smile and the slight blush on his cheeks. “Well yeah, of course! Your writing style is really unique!” John exclaimed, immediately noticing how enthusiastically he had said it and feeling himself reddening. “Well thank you, John Laurens.” Alexander said, pointedly looking at John’s name tag to indicate that he knew his name because of his name tag and that he wasn't some creepy stalker. “My name is Alexander Hamilton by the way, but you can call me Alex, everyone calls me Alex. Well, except for Jefferson that is, but he isn't allowed to. Oh, and Burr only calls me Alexander... Okay, well, only Washington calls me Alex. But still, you can call me Alex.” Alex said, rambling a bit, having found his voice again. Alexander held a hand out for John to shake, already excited at the prospect of possibly making a new friend, maybe even more. “John, pleasure to meet you.” John replied, shaking Alexander’s hand. “So, John, what is a pretty boy like you doing here?” Alexander asked, smirking. He had decided to try to get John to agree to go on at least one date with him, that is, if he is even attracted to guys, before he realizes that someone as gorgeous as John shouldn't settle down for someone like him. A loser without friends, with a stupid journalist job that pays just good enough for him to live of off. Someone who spends all of his time outside from work locked up in his room, reading every book the library has to offer and writing books that he still doesn't believe are as good as John seems to think they are. “Uhm, I uhh, I work here?” John stammered, accidentally kind of phrasing it as a question. Honestly though, what did he expect, what with Alexander flirting with him so casually. Like honestly, how did he even do that. I mean, John had flirted before, he had dated before, but somehow he couldn't even try to talk to Alexander without turning into a blushing and stuttering mess. Alexander chuckled. “I meant, why are you working at a library instead of doing a photo shoot for the cover of people's magazine as sexiest man alive?” Honestly, why was this guy wasting his time on Alexander, why had he not walked away yet? “Oh, right uhm, I don't- do you- I- sexiest man alive? I don't think-” John stammered, not being able to find the words to respond, his blush darkening by the second. “John? There you are, I need your help. Could you come over here for a second?” A tall man with a heavy French accent called. “Oh, uhm, yeah sure Laf, I'll be right there!” John replied before turning back to Alexander. “Okay, so I gotta go, but, uhm, do you- do you like wanna go on a date sometime? I mean if you don’t that's fine of course.” “Uhh, yeah sure” Alexander replied, a bit taken aback. “Great, uhm okay, wait here for a sec.” With that John ran of somewhere and came back a few seconds later with a piece of paper, pushing the paper in Alexander’s hand, he called a quick “call me!” Before running of to go help his friend. Alexander looked down to the piece of paper in his hand. On it was a phone number, ‘John’ written in neat but hurried handwriting and a little heart drawn next to it. Alexander left the library that day with a big smile on his face and something to look forward to, feeling happier than he had in weeks. I am going to post this on Ao3 as well, but I don't have an account yet...