#but they have been so lovely to me and where very complimentary about my art process

[seagull-scribbles]

The Lesbians doing each-others make-up meme but its these two idiots!

This also inspired a one shot, which you can read on AO3 [here] by @veritas-dolos 💖

[fjordline]

ok i've been thinking about how to answer The Color Asks for so long now. Once I start talking about colors I never stop, it seems. This is just me attempting to explain my personal thought process and not any universal rules or anything like that.

None of this is going to look very realistic at all. You need to exaggerate a little. That being said, having fundamental knowledge on how shadows and ligh tsources work is very useful. Know the rules before breaking them and all that.

Boiled down to its basics, what I think of is: if a lightsource is cold toned, make the highlight bright blue. if a light source is warm, make the highlight bright orange. Then contrast the light with a complementary shadow color that does not compete for dominance with the light. Or alternatively make the light source more neutral with a complimentary tone for the shaded areas and then add a highly saturated color in the deepest shadows. Having both a highly saturated light source and a shadow color will compete with each other, instead choose one to be the dominant and one to be the um. submissive i suppose.

Just using a random doodle from my sketchbook for the purpose of throwing some color on:

^^^ Here the midtones and the areas in the shade are predominantly of a low saturated cool blueish tone, while the highlight is stark and warm with orange and red light bouncing off. The orange and red hues you often see in skin that is lit by a strong light is called subsurface scattering (sss), one of the most important concepts in art IMO. It livens things up so much.

^^^Opposite from image 1, here the shaded area is a saturated golden color while the light source is a dull blue with hints of more vivid blue throughout. the blue balances the strong yellows and browns. Since the shaded area is bigger than the highlighted area, the subject matter could look quite monochromatic without the blue hints.

^^^Get wild with it. Lets say your highlight is blue toned: instead of just using a blue, introduce purple, teal, turquoise, ultramarine, cyan, etc around where the light is hitting. Add several light sources in different colors, make it not make sense, get crazy.

Though what is important above all else is that the image reads clearly. Unless you're doing abstract art then you'd probably want the audience to understand what they're looking at. That's where values come in, probably the number one cause of confusing pieces of art. If you can turn the painting black and white and still see the subject matter clearly then the values are good.

I find that i love using colors that most people find garish, especially when they're on their own, for small highlights and points of interest. When paired with other more neutral colors, a bright orange or a chartreuse etc can really brighten up a painting. And colors are never what they seem, the human eye will interpret colors differently depending on what color they are next to. Make full use of this.

Hope this long ass post helps anyone who is struggling with color, I know I used to struggle severely myself xoxo

[cerastes]

Are you going to give Arknights: endfield a go when it releases?

Yep, but I've been honest on stream about my current impression on it: It doesn't look too good. We talked about it, and basically, Liduke wasn't the best option for art director to be honest. She's really good at what she does but what she does, is lacking in scope: The colors don't look good, too muted, too sterile, designs aren't super good, no design has wowed me the way pre-release Arknights designs wowed me (Specter, Hoshiguma and Skullshatterer made me very hype, to name a few). It's like I'm looking at a slab of dirt. Just... Where's the color? In the maps and the designs of the characters. The moment Angelina showed up in her Bloodline of Combat fit, it was so funny to me, because her bright red jacket instantly became the single most colorful thing in the entire game.

Liduke works very well with pale blacks, whites, reds, yellows, and complimentary winter palettes. Look at Hellagur, Schwarz, (her) W, (her) Ines, etc, they look really good. But that's because we have an overarching cast and world of color to contrast them to. When everything is like that, it doesn't look good. I'm a bit disappointed by Endfield's presentation, to be honest.

The gameplay, or what we've seen of it... Doesn't really look fun. It's plain and simple as that.

It's rather difficult for me to write this because I strongly believe in not doomposting and looking at the virtues of things, but at least from what we've seen, it's just being very difficult to find these virtues in Endfield. The best thing I can say is that I still have faith in it simply because Arknights has really delivered to hell and back in terms of being a game and in terms of sheer raw style. The way it keeps evolving Tower Defense (and Tower Offense, to be honest!) is impressive, so I have no doubt brilliant and passionate minds are working behind Endfield, but it feels bad framing it this way because I'm saying "I like their other work" without being able to find a lot to say about Endfield by itself.

I'll give it a try, because I love Arknights and Hypergryph has been phenomenal in my opinion, but if this was a stand alone game not associated with HG or AK, I really don't think I'd look at it twice, and it saddens me to say. I'm hoping to be proven wrong.

[yangsharperavery]

Hi :)

would you be willing to share your insights to the synastry of Jeremy and Ayo? Just curious!!

yes, i will!

sorry this took so long, i wanted to wait until after the emmy's and i'm glad i did. lol.

i don't know these people and you (probably) don't either this is all what the cosmos say + personal observation.

so i'm not an astrologer, by any stretch. but i've been studying it for a few years, have run several dozen personal natal charts and compatibility synastry natal charts simply out of my own curiosity during that time to learn more about the practice, pattern recognition, etc.

while time of birth helps with accuracy. you can learn alot just by birth dates and locations of birth.

just off running those things in synastry, they had 14 positive, compatible and "easy" or easeful placement markers. which is quite high.

the highest amount of those markers i've seen is 18. the average is typically 6-10.

neither of their times of birth are online but ayo recently revealed that her big 3 is libra (air), aquarius (air) and sagittarius (fire). while his is aquarius(air), aries(fire) and his third isn't publicly known (though some think it's gemini(air)).

having her sag rising tells me where jeremy's specific placements fall in her houses. houses are like personal themes: work, passions, travel, spouses, relationships, setbacks, etc. planets are like characteristics or life themes: communication, art, beauty, limitation, structure, intuition, etc.

to start... he's an aquarius sun and she's an aquarius moon. this automatically gives them compatibility because the sun represents your framework as a person, while your moon represents your emotions and how you feel about yourself, the world, etc.

he understands her emotional landscape, she understands his personal framework.

they're both air signs but she's more air than he is. he has more fire and water in his chart.

in an interview for the golden globes last year she talked about how jeremy taught her how to be still. which is interesting because air signs are very heady, intellectual, busy and sometimes flighty people.

their other positive synastry placements are trines (same elements) of her sun and his mars, her venus and his sun, her pluto and his venus, their mercuries, her mercury and his mars, her venus and his mercury, their jupiters, her saturn and his pluto, etc, as well as sextiles (aspected 60 degrees apart) of her sun and his jupiter, her uranus and his venus, her neptune and his venus, her mars and his neptune, her saturn and his neptune, and her pluto and his saturn.

those are just the placements of the elements/planets that are very cohesive, complimentary, magnetic or agreeable that it shows.

for a deeper explanation, that first placement means: her sun (self expression, assertion, will) aspects his mars (energy, impulse, aggression) in a way that is positive, soothing, affirming and motivating.

i won't do every single placement because then this would be a billion words but you get the idea.

what i find most fascinating is their most difficult or challenging placement being her saturn (containment, structure, and limitation) and his venus (harmony, love, beauty, and art). both in pisces (water).

that's challenging because saturn makes you work for everything and teaches you a bunch of lessons along the way. but in the end, if you master the limits and structure, you are rewarded. while venus is loving and giving and indulgent and gorgeous from beginning to end.

venus also rules partnerships. romantic and otherwise.

to add to that, ayo has a bunch of libra placements and libra is ruled by venus. this absolutely tracks because ayo is incredibly venuian which can be attributed to how glamorous and alluring and charming and charismatic she is.

i actually knew she was venuian before i even ran her chart because it just pours off of her.

anyways... that particular placement caught my eye because jeremy's falls in ayo's fourth house of home, family and unconscious past. while jeremy's aries moon (his emotions) fall in her fifth house of social life, creativity, pleasure and dating.

so them literally calling each other family and working on a creative project about such things that is highly emotional, while being tied to partnerships and art, is quite literally written in their chart synastry.

that's all i'm going to say about their natal charts for now...

the rest of what i'm going to comment on is just what i've seen over the past week in regards to their dynamic.

i really do think, it is mostly a tightknit, platonic, encouraging and loving, working friendship and closeness that they share.

and the only reason i say mostly is because outside of the general appreciation and glee and pride and happiness in their interactions amongst these celebrations...

there are these moments that lead to the renaissance painting picture at the golden globes and the giggling tactile shuffle at last night's emmys where i observe them sort of so easily trickling into and immediately out of their own little worlds and i'm like... hmm.

it really wouldn't surprise me if one or both of them has ever had a crush on the other. i'm not saying anything has ever happened or they have even acknowledged it. because who's to say?? and it's obviously nobodies business but just witnessing this past week on top of all i've already seen in their charts... idk.

i saw someone pondering on whether their legitimately very close friendship is the reason they were both so anti-sydcarmy becoming romantic in the past which hmm, again idk.

what i will say is that the way ayo responds to any suggestive context or implication regarding jeremy is VASTLY different than she is or has been with other costars and friends in the industry.

like i said this girl is heavily venuian so she's going to flirt and charm and compliment others in a loving, overt way all the time. look at any of her interactions with rachel sennott, havana rose liu, natasha leone, ramy youssef, just to name a few off the top of my head.

the constant calvin klein stuff was incredibly over referenced and obnoxious after awhile but to think that reporters aren't gonna bring it up at all, especially after it had just gone viral two days prior is a stretch.

maybe as a little mention at the end of the interview is understandable. but blowing up the photos poster board size was, i agree, pretty ridiculous.

i love how she protected him from the overly specific body issue questions during one interview but i feel like the way she physically recoiled during another interview's mention of it felt like an overcorrection or even a tiny, in real time self boundary setting.

not for the interviewer but for herself.

because if it was a sexy campaign with any of the other people i just mentioned, i feel like she woulda been the first person to say they looked so good or they worked so hard or to praise them or whatever.

so it is fascinating to me that it's so different with what she's willing to be on record saying about jeremy.

like girl, i saw rami fake kiss you, natasha actually kiss you and you and havana and rachel flirted intermittently during bottoms press (which was v cute!)

so again the obvious difference makes me tilt my head a little bit.

also i don't recall ebon or lionel or matty or anybody else we've seen her around this past week have their hands on her waist so relentlessly. and i don't recall a smidge of abby or liza's foundation on jeremy's white jacket!

but what do i know?!?!!?

[paperlovesadness]

Miles Kane & Alex Turner as the actual definition of Twin Flames

So I read about twin flames and couldn't get these two out of my mind while doing so. Because of how the article seemed to be specifically about them. So here we are. Miles Kane and Alex Turner fitting all 11 signs of finding your "mirror soul" / twin flame (based on this arcticle. Quotes taken directly) I linked most sources within the screenshots/images themselves. This post could go on forever - so I had to stop at some point. Still, welcome to my most unhinged post yet! Enjoy!

_________________

Definition: A twin flame is an intense soul connection with someone thought to be a person's other half, sometimes called a "mirror soul." It's based on the idea that sometimes one soul gets split into two bodies.

1. When you met, there was instant recognition

When you first encounter your twin flame, Spinelli says there will be an intense sense of attraction, recognition, and longing. "Meeting a twin flame often feels like home," she notes. "They feel familiar—an undeniably intense bond as though you have known them before."

____

[screenshot / translation from the lovely @i-m-a-leaf-on-the-wind's post / linked in the image] ____

____ 2. You're very similar

You and your twin flame may find that you have a lot in common as far as values, past experiences, and interests, Spinelli adds. "Both of you will find that your past story has a lot of coincidences and similar experiences."

____

____

And of course: similar taste in music, similar interests, similar goals & dreams & approach to life (still no wives / children? [Alex as the only one in AM] -> Oriented around their own lives/dreams/hobbies), similar sense of humor, kind of similar sense of style honestly (or complimentary) & tons more.

3. You complement each other

In those areas that you aren't similar, you'll find your differences complement each other, almost like yin and yang. Their shadow, for example, will be complemented by your light, and vice versa. And because a twin flame mirrors you, you're likely very aware of how your relationship highlights your shadows, and theirs.

I know they've probably spoken about this / shown it much more. But this post is long enough on it's own. I think we all see they match / complete each other very well with their differences. Very well shown in TLSP - their music and lyrics are normally disctinctly their own style - but they come together and those differences make up something really magical (aka some of my very favorite music). And overall in personalities - where Miles is much more extraverted, outgoing. More talkative in interviews, a charmer with tons of friends. A performer first and foremost. Alex is more of a self-proclaimed introvert, on the calm, quieter side. Didn't even want to be the lead singer - wanted to write and play. Seems to enjoy process/studio more than performing.

4. Your insecurities and doubts are amplified

"The purpose of your twin flame is to support and help you with your divine mission and purpose," notes spiritual author Shannon Kaiser. "So, often this type of relationship will reflect your problems and deepest insecurities so you can work through them to heal and grow."

so obviously we don't know much about their private conversations and such. But honestly the way their differences complement one another (more on that below) - the way they've been friends for years (and close ones - constantly in contact/visiting each othert etc.) and have mentioned they can talk to each other about anything in their lives and also what I take away from some of their lyrics; with all that I just know this is true. Also quite literally they do support one another beautifully in their journeys and purpose in life (which yeah. I believe in big part is music and art). Truly believe there wouldn't be a TBHC or The Car without TLSP influences. Same with Miles' new stuff. (Also TLSP in itself is to me - their most valuable work of all). Also Imma leave some Miles Kane lyrics here. Make of them what you will.

Miscommunication Tailored altercations Sing to yourself at night So come a little closer, dear You know I find it kinda hard to hear When you are whispering like that And you're diving in the deep The world at your feet An oyster but you can't break the shell We're sitting on the carousel, bang, bang My God, I know this all too well

So let me save you from yourself because

Caroline, you're living on the edge this time But it ain't nothing personal, no, no It's something that you need to know It's problematic cosmological

Take my hand And go and lead the life that you've planned 'Cause you're gonna be just fine My Caroline My Caroline

5. They feel magnetic

From the moment you met and still to this day, you feel drawn to them physically when they're near you, as well as magnetically, when you're apart. It's as though their energy is always with you, always wanting to be closer.

UM... Do we even need me to even put any examples here? But ok, ok. Just a few little ones to not leave it empty

and then, for the being apart part, of course:

6. The relationship is tumultuous

Twin flame relationships aren't all smooth sailing, and actually, they're usually not. Being with a twin flame is like constantly being confronted by yourself, namely the parts of yourself you may not like. It can be incredibly challenging, but it's facilitating major growth for both of you.

Well there's:

which people say shows some tension between them (kind od agree) there's Miles' lyrics from his last two albums, which I am convinced are about Alex and could be taken as light diss tracks honestly. Either way - there've been theories about some tensions between the two around 2018ish? And maybe later. Seems like they've smoothed it out. But song lyrics can say a lot about potential hurt and love between the two. Also if you believe this twin flame thing is about romance - well then the fact they keep being in other relationships is the biggest thing (but still can't keep their hands off each other? potentially?) If you choose to see it as a deep platonic connection only - then just ignore the girlfriend-reference part above. For a bite-size example I'll leave you with some more Miles Kane lyrics here (I think these are most commonly & widely agreed upon to be about Alex). I'm gearing up to start doing some thorough MK lyric dissections / crazy theories soon!

You're walking around, your head in the clouds You're acting as if you're Mr. Johnny know-it-all Mister come and watch me fall

You're feeling alive, a Jekyll and Hyde You're riding the tides and everybody's just doing fine Leading that double life

I'll be right here, I'll see ya when I see ya I'll wait right here, I'll see ya when I see ya You're dancing with death in a bulletproof vest There's no other way to say it, brother Better watch your step Before all goes west

The king and the queen, the milk in your tea The partner in crime you only ever found once in life Don't let it pass you by

7. The relationship is very intense

There's a definite emotional charge between twin flames, says Spinelli, and they often develop quickly because you already feel so familiar. And as Kaiser adds, "Because you are so connected at a soul level, you feel things deeper together, which often makes for more intensity and passion."

I mean here's another one where we don't really need much material, do we? It's just there. And also previous quotes are examples for this one too. About how quickly they became the closest of friends: long conversations on the phone, sleeping at each others houses, getting to know each other's parents etc. And then they write music together (stating that if they met earlier they'd have been a band together for sure) and hop onto a plane to record an album in the French countryside, spending all their time together there. As still relatively fresh friends at that point.

I also needed to include this somewhere because I 100% also perceive Lennon/McCartney as twin flames - and think that this is where many of the comparisons between them lay (and also big part of why Miles & Alex can relate to the two on a deeper level) (we're not gonna talk about the sad ending for those two though. Okay? No).

-- And yeah. Also all that chemistry.

8. You keep coming back together

"The chase" is most definitely a part of the twin flame relationship. At some point, one of you may walk away, out of fear, anger—you name it. But you'll often come back.

"If you're in an 'on and off'-again-type relationship, it could be with your twin flame," Kaiser says. "You'll find that things just keep bringing you together in random ways. Could be months, years, even decades; you just always find your way back to one another."

+See: many of the other things already stated above - but especially under point 6. Also the fact they're in each others lives since they were pretty much kids and still after years chose/choose to spend so much time together, practically living next to one another at one point (Miles moving to LA partially for Alex) and talking about how they never do more than 2 months without seeing each other (and that's caused by big stuff, like tours). Also... I think if someone belives there's more going on bewteen the two then yeah... This seems like a description of what it seems like from the outside (with one of the bigger "on-agains" being around EYCTE era? And off- around TBHC / CDG album eras?)

9. Your connection feels divine

When you find your twin flame, there's a certain larger-than-life quality that likely feels divine or predestined.

"There is a feeling that you have been brought together by a higher power," Spinelli notes, and that creates a very strong bond between the two of you. (These can also sometimes be karmic relationships.)

See stuff from other points: esp. 1 and 2 I guess. All of them though. And just the way they read each others minds... But that's for the next point.

10. You have an almost psychic connection

You and your twin flame can likely communicate with just a glance, and you always know what the other is thinking. You may even feel each other's emotions or symptoms, Spinelli adds.

The way they finish each others sentences, connect via eye contact (like just glancing at the other and suddenly laughing knowingly?) all the mirroring and inside jokes. Yup. We all know all that, there's a lot. Too much. So just a symbolic amount of examples here.

___

11. They push you to be and do better

Because twin flames act as mirrors, they challenge us to do better, and oftentimes, your purposes are aligned in a way that pushes both of you to new heights. It's a very expansive relationship that promotes a lot of growth.

“Sometimes it can be a pressure being the fella in the band who writes the songs. Getting together with Miles I’ve got someone to bounce ideas off and that is something new for me. Also, it gives me somewhere to hide because he’s up there singing with me. In the Arctic Monkeys, there’s nowhere for me to hide.” - Alex As stated in another point - Miles is the more extraverted / loud / cheerful one, while Alex seems calmer, more reserved and on the serious-or-even-sad side. Well guess what - when they're together they balance each other out - and Alex is much more happy and outgoing. Even in interviews - which he famously doesn't really enjoy/do well in. (Take this from a fellow anxious/shy/quiet person. It's a GIFT to find a peron who opens you up this way). Miles also definitely gains a lot from Alex's presence and contrasting way of being.

I know that I could put so much more in here and it's driving me a little mad. There's quotes I have in my head but couldn't place and gave up on the search and stuff I probably just forgot too. But Imma let go of my perfectionism and leave this as is - because I believe it gets the message across. Hope you enjoy my insanity with me! XO

[acourtofthought]

This is a weird question but do you really genuinely believe there's no possibility of an elriel book? And if sjm writes them well you'll enjoy reading it ? I don't ship gwynriel or Elriel. Gorgeous Elucien fan arts are what brought me into this fandom and I started the series solely to read their love story. But with all the elriel "confirmations" I can't help but think that elriel is a possibility so I'm trying to mentally prepare myself.

You are so right, there is nothing quite like Elucien fanart in this ACOTAR world and if E/riel were to happen then we lose the beautiful aesthetic of Elucien and gain, once again, another golden-brown haired femaled (often pictured with the dagger she returned without looking back) with a batboy who has Illyrian tattoos.

Would I still read an E/riel book? I would because I really do like Elain's character and I'd like to read her journey regardless of things not turning out the way I had hoped but I'd be devastated over the lost potential of Elucien. SJM has gone out of her way to show us how complimentary they would be together, how Lucien is the only male love interest who has treated her with respect so far, she even painted the picture in our heads of where they'd go on vacation (back before she thought she'd be writing the spin-offs and was more open with what their journey entailed), so it would be difficult to act like those things never mattered.

I never like to say something with absolute conviction as I feel it's inviting karma to say, "well let me just show you how many ways you can be wrong" (😂) but I do feel very strongly that E/riel is not happening. For me the debate is "will Elucien or Gwynriel get the next book" with me leaning in favor of Elucien and E/riel as a possibility makes up a very small percentage of my thoughts.

People are going crazy over her recent interviews. That a journalist writing "Elain and Az" in her article has E/riels claiming that it's SJMs version of a soft launch getting us used to the idea of E/riel. Or even some Gwynriels claiming that because she said she wanted to explore Az more in the future, he's definitely getting the next book though to me it seems she's talking about a later book because she was already drafting the next ACOTAR in September (so wouldn't she have already explored his character?).

But what seems to be her pattern is whenever she has a potential love triangle (ish) situation, she goes quiet.

In TOG, she waited to release an Aelin / Rowan Bonus until after a specific book because she felt the bonus would be too obvious a hint about them ending up together as mates and some still held out hope for Chaol / Celaena and believed Rowan lost his mate.

We have the interview below that shows she kept the possibility of Feysand a secret until after the release of ACOMAF.

She also talks about the things she put in book 3 that she was looking forward to seeing her readers excited over because, once again, it was only her, her editor and a couple of critique partners who knew "all these secrets".

She was giddy to talk about the end of CC2 because it was a secret she had kept for a very long time and told no one about.

So knowing that she does like her secrets, shouldn't the fact that Elain and / or Az are being mentioned in interviews be something that makes others nervous considering Lucien's name is almost never mentioned?

It could just as easily means he's not her focus right now but could it not also mean that she's trying to draw focus away from him so the next book being announced is a surprise?

E/riels and some Gwynriels will claim Lucien is irrelevant, that SF was centered around either E/riel or Az but Tamlin was mentioned in ACOTAR 731 times with Rhys mentioned 232 times yet Feyre ended up with Rhys in the next book. Chaol wasn't even in Empire of Storms yet he got the book after and ended up with Yrene who had never been mentioned by name prior to that.

All this talk about buildup, relevancy to the book that preceeded the new release because of name mentions or how often SJM speaks about someone in interviews as proof of something but those arguments are flimsy because we've seen her do this type of stuff before and she still turned around and surprised the reader.

The Elucien bond was introduced in book 2 and it is not just Elain's bond, it's Lucien's too especially when for him, it's been an even bigger deal because his first love was killed and he spent centuries believing she was his mate. That's an enormously angst-y setup which is the exact sort of a thing an author would want to explore versus the one where Az can't admit to being over Mor while lusting after Elain but not envisioning a future with her while also being jealous of Lucien who has only helped them and somehow turning that into a believable romance.

SJM did not create Lucien in the likeness of Jamie Fraser who she was obsessed with, mate him to Elain who she said shares her energy, only to have them never explore their mating bond which is the most sacred thing to the fae and as of SF, we see that Elain is beginning to embrace some of her fae self.

Elain fighting her pull to Lucien by ignoring him is no different than Nesta fighting her pull to Cassian by pushing him away in the novella but it's clear their story is still waiting to be told.

I find it difficult to believe that SJM had Lucien chased out of his home in book 3, finding a group of friends in the human lands in the novella while the reader knows he's heir to Day and have been waiting for that big reveal, only to then have him showing frustration with his living situation in SF but plans on having him remain in the human lands and the defunct Spring Court for yet another book (which they need as a strong ally) while Az gets his HEA with Elain.

Where Elain and Az spend the next book building up the "Dusk Court" (because that's still a thing going around) when the "Dusk Court" had nothing to do Spring, Tamlin, Koschei, Vassa or Beron as we left off in SF.

Everyone keeps claiming Az and / or Elain are needed to move the plot forward but honestly, Lucien is the one needed to truly move the plot forward and Elain by his side makes the most sense because they as a team have the powers and the connections to make something happen.

Elain is the only one who had visions of the box Koschei hides. She is the one who had visions of Vassa and the other girls trapped at the lake.

Lucien is the only one with real ties (and not just "I spy on you to gather information" ties) to Beron, Spring, the humans (which involves the treaty) and even Koschei considering he was at the lake when Papa Archeron negotiated with him and he is living with the female Koschei is now preparing to call back. He is the "son" of the man with his sights set on the lands of Spring. He is the one who is friends with Tamlin and performed in the Rite last and the NC needs Spring as an ally as well as their army. He is the one who is friends with the humans who are leading an ungoverned land and it is the human lands that Vallahan has their sights set on. "The Queen of Vallahan even asked me what the point of a peace treaty would be when another war, this time against the humans, might redraw the territory lines far below the wall."

Az and Elain would keep the plot in the Night Court outside of him possibly spying elsewhere and didn't we already see him doing that in SF? With Eris also providing them Intel? What is more spying going to do when we already know what Koschei and Berons goals are and the goal is to now stop them.

To me, the only person that is currently in a position to make a real difference at this point is Lucien and the love interest that makes the most sense to help him do these things is Elain.

Lucien has been made an underdog by the IC and I think the fandom has adopted that mentality (they've done the same with Elain).

And it makes me wonder if they are not about to be the best kept secret of all if SJM announces an Elucien book as the next one.

[puzzleemerald]

Because Amaterasu and Sesshōmaru don't have much further art at the moment, I decided to share another couple who are most dear to my heart. YCH by the lovely Antodonatella on Instagram & DeviantArt.

Please don't reblog!

Keep in mind I will be talking about the FanFiction version of Ayumu in this post! The version of Ayumu I roleplay is her own separate deal! When her bio is done and put up on my Master Post, I won't only RP Ayumu interacting with exclusively Neji writers, lol.

Neji Hyūga is already a very recognizable character, being one of my very first crushes when I started really getting into anime as a thirteen to fourteen-year-old. In fact, he's the reason I later bought and read the manga... all hundred-heccin'-something volumes of it. Much like Sesshōmaru, it was his long hair, elegance, intellect, and stoic demeanor that won me over at first. It also amused me to watch him just be cool; he always felt like the definitive head of his team. Even if Lee wasn't to be sneezed at as a fighter, I saw more leadership qualities in Neji that Lee lacked. I also felt that he had the most interesting plight among the Konoha thirteen as someone from a branch in his clan where he was basically expected to serve and protect the head family deemed "above" him on the social-political totem pole the Hyūga were built on. Despite his innate talent rivaling the daughters of the clan's head at the time, he'd always be considered lesser because of his birth. In ways, he felt like more of an underdog to me than Naruto did—though that also has a lot to do with Naruto's characterization as the "optimistic headstrong protagonist" Kishimoto had going. (I kinda wish Kishi had leaned more into Naruto having some resentment towards the Leaf, but that's a post for another day)

So what'd teenage me do? Tailor an OC to be another half for him because GDI this man deserves happiness, not getting skewered like a redshirt on an overgrown splinter. If they had to have someone, ANYONE, sacrifice themself for Hinata... tbh, I wish it'd been someone on her team like Kiba or Shino, so we didn't have to basically do the thing he was "born to do" according to Clan tradition asfdhjrhyud—

Deep breaths. I'm calm. Suppress the fangirl rage.

So, as a result, I created Ayumu! Who was, by every definition, a Mary Sue at first!! (It was bad... oh god, was it bad...) But after I ditched her for a few years when I lost interest in Naruto, I returned to her when I turned seventeen and completely rehauled her. Leading to the designs she has now.

This is Ayumu's Part 1/Naruto Design. The Settei was done by a friend of mine on IG called Sento.OC, whom I commissioned.

Then, we have Ayumu's Part 2/Shippuden Design, also by Sento.

When designing an OC for Neji, I wanted to go more complimentary than contrary. It just didn't feel like it'd make sense for Neji to ever be romantically interested in someone with bombastic energy like Naruto or Lee—mans doesn't have the patience to live with that on a daily basis, LOL! So I thought, "Hey, Neji's a pretty traditional guy; why not give him a traditional woman?" and Ayumu ended up as a very grounded, calm, and analytical person. A bit more on the conservative side, similar to Neji. All the while having occasional bursts of warm, thoughtful moments where she lights up but doesn't explode. She's very, for lack of a better term off the top of my head, "normal" compared to Naruto's big personality, Sasuke's broodiness, Shikamaru's laziness, or Temari's ferocity. It's why I imagine her getting along very well with people like Tenten or Kakashi, too, who tend to be the metaphorical straight man to the more comedic characters around them. Characters like Gai and Lee and Naruto can only be funny, after all, if they're offset by some typically.

Ayumu is also a close-range fire-style specialist with a Kekkei Genkai related to it, so her style compliments Neji's pretty well imo. They can be in a shoulder-to-shoulder or back-to-back situation and cover one another while knowing the other is nearby and safely under their wing. Both characters have some insecurity and neglect issues but for very different reasons. However, this means they relate to one another over their feelings and traumas, and neither really feels a need to "fix" the other. It's what makes them last, in my opinion. They just quietly comfort each other (also slap whoever tries to put the other down, lol), and that's it. ...They did kinda try to scratch each other's eyes out at first, but that'll be its own post! Once they get over their big hurdle and understand each other, they end up just being a pair of supportive friends to lovers 90% of the time. The other 10% is them getting fucked with by the plot around them because Neji barely gets any screen time in Shippudennnnnnn! ;-;

[girlfriendsofthegalaxy]

tuesday again 2/6/2024

some weeks it's really hard to come up with a snappy little bon mot to put here

listening

Barbarella, by a fuck of a lot of people. yes i DID watch this movie this week! this is the single catchiest theme song i have ever heard. i cannot link the actual opening credits scene bc tumblr will censor that shit SO fast. spotify

-

reading

Rebecca Roanhorse's Tread of Angels novella. this is an urban magic old west religious fantasy novella. VERY sangfielle friendsatthetable vibes, there's an old west mining town centered around the body of the demon Abbadon, which is being mined for its powerful properties. demons and angels have sort of interbred throughout the human population. there is some deeply nerdy catholic bullshit and i say that as someone who was in catholic school for fifteen years. actually let's just take Roanhorse's explanation

the setting and premise are not where the novella bites off way more than it can chew. the main character, a cardsharp, has a chanteuse sister being held accused of a murder and she's got 48hrs to prove her innocence. the time limit and general structure is good, and it uses its side characters wisely, there's just a fuck of a lot of them.

in general, this novella does not have the emotional room to make its emotional beats really count. for example, there was a second breakup with an ex after a night of passion that mostly just left me confused. more broadly, the main character has an oldest sister's selfsacrificing nature that has twisted into utter ruthlessness with regards to her sister, and i'm both impressed Roanhorse managed to convey that in so few pages and annoyed bc i really wanted to see more of that in way more detail. due to the nature of it being a novella, the series of escalating decisions she takes feel very jagged in their escalation. i hope that makes sense.

it's got really interesting ideas! i want to know more about the ideas! i wish this was a full book instead of a novella, so the ending hits a little better instead of a Well That Just Happened way. from this interview it seems Roanhorse also wanted it to be a full book, but it was sort of a "i need something short and sweet so i don't go insane while adapting my other book for TV" (which is very exciting!!!)

-

watching

really a bizarre set of films. extremely unemployed energy in this watchlist this week. largely composed of "what's on my letterboxed watchlist and also available for free on tubi, with brief forays into hulu"

Journey to the West: Conquering the Demons (2013, dir. Chow). loved the overall visual design of the antagonists and the monsters, did not overall love this movie. it is a solid martial arts showcase and the first twenty minutes with freshwater JAWS are the most tightly plotted. it kind of flounders (lol) after that. can't find a gif i like.

INU-OH (2021, dir. Yuasa) genuinely healed my heart a little i think. queer (complimentary, not queer in the western massachusetts housing coop way) feudal anime glam rock opera. i am sooooooo picky about bad dads in movies as a driving force but this really soothed my daddy issues. stuck the landing on both storytelling and visuals.

Barbarella (1968, dir. Vadim) WOW Jane Fonda was hot. this was both sillier and less porny than i was led to believe (if we ignore the softcore porn opening credits). however horny this movie was it was not brave enough to have some girl-on-girl action with barbarella and the evil empress, even though the evil empress never seems to actually learn her name and just calls her “pretty” or “pretty-pretty”. shoutout to the one fic on ao3 that rectifies this situation. certainly a piece of scifi history, i wish modern scifi was as brave with its theatrical set dressing, i think one viewing is good enough for me bc i cannot stop thinking about how all the women on set might have been treated.

john philip law popped up and i said out loud to my cat “hey i know him from cowboys”

Flower Drum Song (1961, dir. Koster) got conned into watching this by the hotvintagemen poll bc i wanted to see what james shigeta’s deal was, and if he did have a sort of ratpack sensibility as the propaganda described. he does! however this movie is unrelentingly awful. it is so so so slow. all of its comedy is racism-based. it feels like a three and a half hour two-VHS set instead of two hours. i like to think i have a stronger stomach for older media and am able to consider things as products of their times but this is my upper limit i think. one brief fleeting moment of cool production with this triple mirror effect

Dirty Dancing (1987, dir. Ardolino). we were trying to find something to watch on either peacock or hbo max, and when i said "oh i've never seen that" out loud my my best friend said "that's insane we're watching it". i did not hate this movie, but i feel like i missed some critical window of development in which i would have had to see this movie to really love it. i had sort of an abnormal high school experience and i am a smidge too old to relate to bildungsroman any more. but it was cute! it was fine! i think patrick swayze’s jawline could cut glass. this film was made after Roe v Wade (1973) and i feel like the backstreet abortion b-plot has done this interesting 180 from sort of a historical novelty to a real threat and terror again. fun!

that’s it for the watching section i promise

-

playing

im doing the thing where i play a game for ten minutes, put it down, and then pick it back up again, which is probably not terrific for the health of my elderly switch. but whatever. what have i been up to in breath of the wild?

not a ton of progress map-wise, but did make it up to zora’s domain.

i was planning on the camel being the first divine beast, to get that over with bc i had such a devil of a time in my last playthrough, but the thing about the desert is it’s really far away.

dicked around the dueling peaks stables for a while without managing to defeat that guardian and unlock that shrine. so it goes. i think i really need an actual guardian shield from one of the minor tests of strength shrines instead of a normie shield. this line and sidequest made me laugh— it wasn’t terribly hard to find this little cache but it was a tricky bit of gliding.

didn’t realize the horses don’t have that much vertical threat perception, just like real horses. this little band walked right under me and i failed to glide down and land perfectly on someone’s back, which did freak them all out.

i think my new favorite place in a game is this little grove clinging to the side of the dueling peaks. it felt very peaceful and cozy. nothing can get me up there and there’s more than enough room to make a little campfire and cook dinner and not roll off the mountain in a sleeping bag the middle of the night.

also fully kitted out my house bc i had a very successful mining expedition along dueling peaks. EXTREMELY forgiving and generous secondary opening area imo, thanks game

-

making

i started this glitch sampler pattern by tumblr's own mathysphere (not @'d bc this is a fuck of a long post) at the beginning of the pandemic, june 2020, while thinking "eh let's give this friends at the table counterweight thing a shot" got most of the way through both counterweight and this piece, put it down bc i was so annoyed with all the confetti stitches (random one-off stitches of colors that aren't anywhere near other stitches of the same color. i think i resorted to fraychek at several points in the rover square) and then put it down so long i had to throw it out during the great moth debacle, bc it was partly eaten.

here's what it will look like finished, and a link to buy the pattern

i think this time around i am a much better technical stitcher (the first crack at this i didn't know the loop method of starting, or pin stitches, or really any alternate endings except running the tail under the last few stitches). i usually stitch with three strands bc i like the look, but i think the loop method with three strands is overly fiddly. i have not picked up cross stitch since mmmm 2021, but any mistakes or unevenness in this will simply contribute to the glitch effect. i'm going to go back and backstitch the four "frames" and key portions of the sampler to highlight portions of the glitches (eg the yellow and blue centers of the spiral galaxy, the interior of the eclipse, perhaps add an antenna to the rover).

still not my tidiest back, but hey. it's going to sit in a frame and not have any sort of friction or extra force applied to it ever

i am really looking forward to framing this in a deep shadowbox, i have an idea about how to mat it with little melty cutouts for the drips at the bottom.

[tamelee]

hi tamelee!

I'm here to ask for a little bit of advice if that's okay (: about a month ago I bought a Wacom drawing pad so I could start experimenting with digital art. artists like you here on tumblr have really inspired me to start making art. but I feel kinda.. lost. I've been mostly drawing naruto manga caps and I'm getting better but I guess I don't know where to go from here. coloring and shading scares me lol. I'm using clip studio paint and it's just a little.. intimidating. I feel discouraged, like I won't be able to do it. how did you do it tamelee? did you watch a lot of tutorials, or did you experiment until you figured things out? any advice you'd have for a beginner artist I'd really appreciate.

thank you veryvery much for your time ^^

Hi Nonee! 🧡 Sure!

Oh I think that’s a very good place to start. As well as drawing subjects you like ^^! Hmm, tbh I’ve just experimented a lot, but I don’t think my way of having done things was the most efficient. You might want to follow tutorials step by step? You can try coloring only with flat colors until you feel a bit more confident with that as well as cell-shading (toon-shading/non-realistic, like in anime) instead of rendering further as that can all be confusing at first. I personally never truly understood shading until I studied cell-shading and made my art a lot more readable. A lot of Anime uses this; 

You see how there is a base color, a darker color for shadows and highlights? (Sometimes not even highlights.) 

When you start to study it from existing work you’ll start to notice things like color always being in the same area of saturation and when you suddenly have a color that is way more saturated than the other it can look off. (See example.) But this is a guideline, not a rule. In your own art you can especially use saturation and brightness to help aid you to direct a viewer's focus and even tell a story.

I LOVE ‘How to train you dragon’ and ‘Kung Fu Panda’ for this because their coloring is so inspiring and if you truly want to learn from professionals... well those are the type of media to look for of course! I have an entire folder to inspire me just based on those.

Do you see how calculated those color combo’s are?!?! Here you see both analogous and complementary schemes and it is actually through looking at the things I like that I learned it >< The orangey colors stand out and are bright which helps you to focus on that area whereas the complimentary scheme is used to bring characters together.

If drawing Manga-caps is something you love to do, then maybe for coloring you can study screen-caps from Anime or even other animated films. I’d recommend to take it step by step, though I haven’t really applied it myself, from the video’s I’ve seen and artists I’ve followed it is always advised to have an art-goal that you can work toward. Maybe you first want to focus on lineart and then laying down a base color where the colors are harmonious and next would be cell-shading maybe and then you can start adding another light-source etc- eventually you can decide to create more depth or practice with monochromatic coloring, maybe even greyscale to learn values. But right away that can all sound a bit intimidating doesn't it? Find things that you like and then maybe you can open them in your program and just study. Find a brush you like, put on some music or a show on the background and for a moment play around with it without needing to create a finished piece. This is also how I learned how things like adjustment layers work or what all the different kinds of tools do. I have to agree with you, CSP is intimidating for me as well >< so this is kinda how I approach it as there are so many add-ons and additions within it but I try to only learn what I need for that moment so I don't overwhelm myself.  I definitely try to find video’s that can help me with creating Manga though! ^^ There are plenty!  It'll get easier eventually, you'll learn the program and you start to recognize placements for shadows and you will get a feel for the coloring- no worries 💪 Learning something new will always stay intimidating, every time I open up a new document I feel it too. It's not easy at all, but you kinda have to allow yourself to experiment and even make mistakes because practice is never perfect. I have some beginner tips written here- I hope any of this is somewhat helpful 🌷🫶

[sanstropfremir]

best choreos of 2023!

not gonna lie, this year was a rough one for choreos. like with the actual music itself, this year was profoundly complacent and very few choreographies were truly inspired and willing to do something original. i was actually afraid for a bit that i was not even gonna be able to fill out a top ten list, much less having any runners' up. so here's a list of runners' up:

new dayz - trendz

spotlight - yunho

wormhole - n.ssign

neverland - nine.i

baggy jeans - nct u

koong - xikers

vuja de - yunho

bouncy - ateez

journey - woodz

and my favourites:

circle - onew

i have a bit of a love hate relationship with the circle choreo bc on one hand i LOVE it, the imagery and idea is beautiful i think it's one of the few choreos this year that actually embodies what the song and the cb were trying to say. but on the other hand, as a contemporary dance enjoyer it is.........let down by the fact that kpop is a predominantly hiphop based genre and the backup dancers are not up to snuff for this type of choreo. kaspar did a pretty good job choreographing it but hiphop and contemp/modern are notoriously hard styles to slide between for dancers, and i really think they should have actually got a modern choreographer and a modern troupe. it would have significantly upped the quality and given the stages that extra gut punch.

grl gvng - xg

honestly you really could sub in any xg choreo from this year here bc they were all stellar, but the commitment of grl gvng clinched it for me. the costuming, the makeup, the style of movement all tell such a clear story that i would have included it on my list regardless of what the album was, but the transition from hesonoo to xgene to grl gvng is fucking UNREAL. it's so refreshing to see a gg actually commit to a concept that isn't pretty bubbly straightness and to not compromise on it regardless of how much people bitch, right down to the choreo. there's something immensely satisfying about seeing a choreo about how these girls are alien cyborgs and have it actually LOOK like they are alien cyborgs, the intentional clunkiness and 'offputting' movements and all. i've been begging for an actual real concept like this for years and finally. finally it has been delivered.

chrome arts - onlyoneof

its not a choreo list by me if there isn't an ooo one, and once again they came right out of the gate at the beginning of the year with something batshit insane. the knee walk move is crazy. i love it 10/10.

killer - key

unlike a lot of the other entries on this list, i don't think killer has as concise of a concept other than "the 80s", but the great thing about it is that you absolutely can successfully pull off a more abstract concept if you do it well. this is such a strong choreo with good images and composition, plus a lot of 80s references in the moves themselves, and sometimes that's all you need if you put the right care into it. this is actually one of the few choreos that i've seen that correctly capture the feel of an mj choreo from the 80s, which seems to be a real challenge for a lot of idols. i will say that i think it would have made more sense to me if this had been a repack to bad love, bc it has the same vein of nostalgia vibes and a very similar feel in the shapes of the choreo, but really they're all part of his retro series so it's not a substantive complaint.

the rizzness - taemin

don't speak to me don't look at me i'm literally never recovering from this in my entire life. i cannot fucking believe he made me say with full conviction that ""the rizzness"" is one of the best taemin bsides but also of fucking course he did. this is black rose but eviler (complimentary). it's so interesting to see how versatile taemin's style is and where his true strengths lie. obviously his title track choreos are perfectly tailored to his body and his abilities and they are all unreal choreos on their own. but there's something about the way that he carries himself when he does more hiphop based choreo that has such a natural power to it. it's so clear that this is the style that he started learning dance in and especially now that he's become much more settled in his body since he got back from the military, it's so obvious how much love he has for this song and this way of movement that i don't think any of his title tracks will stack up in the same to it in my eyes.

don't call me - dkz nine to six

insane. insane insane insane. i love everything about this. it's weird its creative it had very clear imagery that supports the song, it says fuck capitalism, what more could you possibly want. honestly one of the best choreos of the last couple years. i'm also gonna include nod here too bc it was the bside they promoted and it has crazy choreo also, and highly recommend ppl listen to digital love, the other bside. very strong release from dkz this year despite all the shit they went through.

--

here's hoping 2024 is better!

[good-beans]

Tsumi's ask game: 2, 3, 4, 6 for Fuuta and Mappi!

Woo thank you so much :3 I promise I didn't go overboard but there were still a bunch so they're under the cut

2. favorite mv moment/frame?

This first one, hands down. Of course I love all frames of my little skrunkly (especially in his little knights outfit :3) but this moment in particular gave me chills. I could write a whole essay on how well Bring it On shows the melding of imagination/reality in a way that isn’t infantilizing. It’s not like a little kid getting carried away thinking of their fake stories, this happens to everyone – this has happened to me. Between the glitching and the beat in the music, this really gut-punched me with the feeling of letting yourself get carried away. Shoutout to the second one because it’s epic and I edited a lockscreen with it for a while. (extra shoutout to when he wipes the blood off his face ough I love that one too)

3. favorite non-mv official illustration?

the pv shot who said that. Lmao I actually really liked the 3rd anniversary art! It really captured that shit eating grin, and somehow maintains the perfect balance of making him look genuinely creepy/intimidating and still like a loser asdfsdf. In general he just looks real good in it :3 I know it’s like three tiny panels but I also love his Clock Over Orquestra look ;-;

4. favorite minigram episode/moment?

THERE’S SO MANY LOL I think it has to be the pause of silence as Amane makes fun of his height, but I’m so obsessed with the starry-eyed panel when he’s watching Yuno do cat’s cradle ;---; (eng versions from thinkin-bout-milgram)

6. favorite relationships with another character in the prison?

In general it’s Yuno, but a lot of that is from my own analysis/brainrot/fic writing 😭 I will never shut up about how his initial impression of violence was revealed to be in her defense, rather than his own aggression!!! They’re very similar and where they’re not, they’re complimentary. They are so special to me. If we’re talking mainly canon, it’s definitely him and Amane :’) Some parts are healthy and healing, some parts are fucking them both up more, but it’s all very fun and interesting. 

2. favorite mv moment/frame?

You’re making me choose??? You’re making me choose only one frame of my beautiful beautiful wife????

Seriously though, this one. I know it may be cliche as her Classic Frame but for someone who really relates to her “out of control” emotions and toxic positivity habits, it really hit hard!! It puts you in her victim's shoes, but still in the mindscape, and is just so unsettling and sad ;-;

3. favorite non-mv official illustration?

Definitely her birthday art! She’s so beautiful and happy in it <3 I love the dress, love the cake, love the flowers, it’s perfect! I enjoy her various anniversary art, but it always makes me sad seeing them try and paint her as creepy. I get it, but the whole point of her character is that there’s nothing literally creepy/mean about her ;--; (Referring to my previous answer, that's how you make her creepy. You put the viewer in her victim's shoes and make her just as cheery as always.)

4. favorite minigram episode/moment?

Her “I bet I could” because she Could!!! I believe in her 😤 It was such a cute minigram overall but after so much canon content of her struggling to keep up with what society/others expect of her I loved seeing her have some confidence in herself, even if it was silly :3 Ahh I also love her keeping up with Kotoko at jumprope! She may be small but she can keep up with the best of ‘em 💪

6. favorite relationships with another character in the prison?

Also Yuno lol! I love how much they care for each other, especially now that Yuno has been looking after her in T2 ;-; In general they make such a cool parallel – they both have crimes related to a partnership with a man, both pay attention to the picture-perfect ideal of a woman that society expects, but are complete opposites regarding honesty/masks. My secret little favorite is Fuuta, but once again that’s really all from headcanoned interactions and parallels 😅

[sm-writes-chaos]

“What if I never left her behind?”

Have you ever been haunted?

It could have been from a ghost, a phantom even.

I’m haunted by something much worse.

A memory, a regret, a decision that changed my life. I haven’t decided for better or worse. Whether it was fate, or if I cheated destiny and the universe scrambled to reschedule the course of my life. If it did, the universe must like me.

I organize lavish art galleries for the few rich to enjoy. I don’t personally receive much of the money but I’m living well.

A restaurant dinner every week, a nice apartment in a safe neighborhood, frilly dresses because for some reason the more frills the more respected you are. The only thing missing is…

I tell myself this is the universes punishment, for having to reschedule and unexpectedly taking it easy on me. That lingering question puts a hole through my stomach, letting in cold air and chilling my bones. “What if I never left her behind?”

What am I so scared of?

I have nothing to fear, nothing else to want.

Yet it stays and persists, so I’ve learned to live with it and make it cower behind my never faltering positive view on life. If I’m trying to convince a particularly lovely couple to buy a painting at a gallery show, my smile never falters and I don’t break a sweat for the urges to run to the nearest bathroom and puke out the complimentary appetizers.

If I so happen to pass a train, which are frustratingly more common in this country, I pull my head forward and try to convince myself I didn’t see her standing there. I repeat:

“It’s in the past, she’s in the past…”

I do my duty of ignoring my selfish dilemmas and no one suspects a thing. I am still the respected [Name], with a preference for blue dresses and will provide you with that obscure painting without hesitating for a second to take the job. I have connections and I have wealth, I have answers to peoples problems and no time to ask shitty meaningless questions!

——

No idea where this is or the time period, but it is…uh something.

Two lovers, separated. The one you just read about immigrated from some country after an opportunity arrived, the other person begged them to stay, saying they could live there together and it’d be fine even if it wasn’t the best conditions

She did not stay :| and now she regrets it :)

will they ever meet again?! By perchance at a gallery show?!

or maybe she shall go on a big adventure to find her old lover after finding a letter she never saw???!! (an old one I must say but it sparks hope, maybe even…old love and new passion?!?)

anyway

this has been The Latest Fever Of Inspiration Show

I wanted to write something that started with a question and this became of it

AND GUESS WHAT

if it ever became more than this it shall be sprinkled with old letters and telegrams and thing of the sort to further flesh out the story as the reader learns about the characters and the past they experienced

(I already wrote one letter teehee I’m very good at writing people in love [spoiler no])

[dragonomatopoeia]

Do you have any recommendations for zines?

I ended up writing a pretty long front-matter to this ask, so I've put it all under a Read More. If you only want the resources, feel free to skip to the end

So: I am always going to be a little too pedantic and autistic for a comprehensive, unambiguous rec list. Someone asked me what my favorite book was once, and it felt like my brain stalled and rebooted five times.

Don't get me wrong! I love putting specialized recommendations together, like puzzle-box mystery novels, or horror genre video games with thematic emphasis on grief, or documentaries on sewage treatment

But I am very, very bad at recommending general purpose Media full stop. alas I am a fussy and particular creature who hisses at five star rating systems on review websites because I think using the same Quality Metric regardless of genre and medium and purpose is Silly

Making recs gets even more difficult with things like zines, where they are small press by nature. A lot of my favorite zines are DIY projects with Very Small Distributions. One of my prized possessions is a small, hand-drawn zine of one hundred cats the artist drew with their eyes closed, which they gave to me for free because they liked my shirt. But that's a zine that means something to me because of circumstance and taste and my own ability to pick it up in person

Your mileage tends to vary with this stuff. If I found a Repo The Genetic Opera zine that ranks every organ in the human body, I have friends that would love that WAY more than I would, and I'd probably send it their way. If I found a zine about Gundam and gender and disability and idealized bodies that have been shaped into weapons, then I have dozens of friends I would need to send copies of it to, but that wouldn't make it any less niche. Zines are for VERY specific audiences. That's one of the best things about them!

That Being Said! There ARE popular, more-accessible, or more well-known zines and artists with broader appeal, and I mean that in an enthusiastic, complimentary manner.

I've even seen zines being advertised on my tumblr dashboard. Zines like:

Oh No! A kidpix zine by Louie Zong (Pay what you want- all proceeds donated to LA Foodbank)

Golem Zine is a publication by and for Jewish creatives living in areas where Jewish life is challenged. Their Out West issue sold out before I could grab a copy ($10 per issue, physical)

FYMA: A Lesser Key to the Appropriation of Jewish Magic & Mysticism goes hand in hand with the previous zine, I think (Pay what you want)

But you're more likely to get something that caters to your specific interests and artistic sensibilities by getting in touch with your community members, asking friends who have similar tastes, or checking out some of these resources:

Your Local Library (I'm being serious here-- your library likely has connections to local artists, galleries, resources, and e-resources that can set you on the path to zines you'll enjoy)

Any local art walk or small press events near you (your library can help you find these)

Itch.io's Zine Tag (Adding more tags will help you filter these)

Papercut Zine Library's Virtual Library

Internet Archive's Zine Collections

The DC Punk Archive Zine Library (Specific to punk and DIY interests, as you might imagine)

The Library of Congress Online Zine Web Archive Collection

QZAP (The Queer Zine Art Project)

POCZP (People of Color Zine Project-- and they're on tumblr!)

Hevelin Fanzine Collection (Literally a bunch of sci-fi, horror, and fantasy fanzines that were all collected by one guy which are now being digitized)

From Staple to Spine: A Compendium of Zine-Related Books (This doesn't have zines itself, but the books included can be a great starting point for where you should be looking and what will be of interest to you)

I also recommend making your own zine! It's fun to make things and put words and images on paper.

And if you downloaded the bundle for Racial Justice and Equality off itch.io, you already own the Electric Zine Maker (Warning for brightly colored, glitched, and moving visual elements that may cause eyestrain. I would also be wary if you're prone to migraines)

I know this has been a Lot and I got a bit carried away, but I hope that this helps you in your quest for finding cool, obscure art made by people who care deeply about niche topics. Personally, that's my favorite kind of art

[crankygrrl]

This post is a trigger warning

Sometimes, I think about killing myself.

I stole that line from a Daisy Ridley movie. It's called Sometimes I Think About Dying. The poster art looks grey, and very indie cinema, and I probably won't go to see it.

I don't actually think about dying much. But sometimes I think about killing myself.

Someone jumped off a balcony on the other side of the building last year. Their body was still on the lawn under an orange blanket when I got home that night. I think about climbing over my balcony and letting go, the sensation of falling, of feeling my body hit the parked cars below. Death has no dignity and that way of dying even less.

I tried to kill myself in 2008, in a Dublin hotel room, the same day I got my Master's Degree. I was drunk and I was angry. I had put all this work into this degree but I was still the same. I realized that no amount of achievement was ever going to make me different or make the pain go away. All my self-doubt and self-loathing was still there. I always imagined how it would feel if I could just cut away all the spoiled and rotten pieces of me. So I tried getting in through the wrist.

Pocket knives are blunter and skin tougher than I'd imagined. But not so tough, either. Sometimes I drive my life at the wall, pedal to the metal, just to see if I can brake in time. I stopped cutting in Dublin because I was afraid of how easy it would have been to keep going. Is that sanity or cowardice?

These things are hard to talk about because it hurts and frightens the people I care about. I don't want to make them collateral damage in my destruction. It's not about them anyway. But sometimes I am just so angry I don't know what else I can do with the feeling. Like if I pierced my skin, maybe the anger could escape. I try putting it on the page, on the screen, and it just. Won't. Go. Away. I fantasize about driving my fists into the wall so hard that I shatter all the bones. And then I'll kneel before a deity I don't know and offer them my mangled hands and the blood of my pulverized flesh will wash away all my sins.

Catholicism has a lot to answer for.

My father died last summer and this is my inheritance. He drank and he raged and he hit his wife and he terrorized me. The first time I thought about killing myself, I was 15. My parents split custody, 2 weeks on, two weeks off. I lasted until I was 16. I left my brothers behind and moved in full-time with my mom. My father never forgave me. I know that because he told me once. Because it wasn't enough to abuse me. The ordeal was never over until I forgave him his trespasses.

I think I hate him. Now that he's dead, maybe I am finally safe to hate him. Fucking asshole.

It would be nice if love were enough. It's not. We had one, last good conversation in the spring. I don't think he liked me very much at the end, and in hindsight, I don't know if I liked him at all. He made me feel like a failure at everything I ever tried to do to make him proud, and at some point, I think I stopped trying. I feel like I've spent my life torn between two poles, seeking his approval on one hand, and refusing to compromise to get it on the other. I feel like that has been a waste of time.

He told me once that he knew that if wrote about him, it wouldn't be complimentary. As I hemmed and hawed, his partner said something about accepting the gift that was given. It didn't feel like a gift, it felt like control.

I think about the painting of Noah and his sons on the ceiling of the Sistine Chapel, and Ham', whose descendants Noah cursed because Ham witnessed his nakedness. I do not have children.

If I share this where you can read it, am I performative and vain? If I post it privately, am I hiding? One day I will tie this rage up in words so I can set it on a shelf and walk away.

[beneath-the-irish-sky]

June 13th

The next day, I woke up and had a bagel that I had saved. I started to get ready early since, as a group, we decided that we wanted to dress up to go to the theatre. We knew we would be out all day so I planned to dress in layers. We stopped at the center for a couple of snacks. 

Later on, we all met up at the bus stop to head over to the theater together. The bus was relatively close to the theater, and we made it to the Abbey Theatre just in time. The Theatre was built in 1904 and is rich in Irish history. However, the original theatre burned in the 1950’s and was revived in its current location today.

We toured backstage (pictures 3, 5, 6, & 8), learned about the founders, and peeked in on one of the makeup rooms. I had the opportunity to work on shows growing up as both an actor and in the tech crew. It was gleeful to see how a professional theater works. 

After the tour was completed, we went to the Guinness Storehouse (pictures 7, 9, & 10). I had no idea what to expect, but it was so cool! It was interactive, interesting, and fun. There was a tunnel that was dark and black and as you passed through you entered a room of white light, and it felt heavenly. It was an experience. We went to the 360 bar up top for the beer tasting.

The 360 bar is a room where they serve you a complimentary pint of Guinness and sit with windows all around you while overlooking the panoramic views of the City. I noticed Dublin does not have a lot of skyscrapers. You can see everything without being blocked by steel and concrete.

After we drank our pint, we went back to Abbey Theatre for the play (picture 13). It was absolutely exhilarating. I was a little worried when I saw that it was a one-woman show, but it took my breath away. It made me laugh, cry, and feel every emotion in between. The storyline was about a woman who’s mother struggled with suicide. The daughter made a list of Every Brilliant Thing she could think of to remind her mother why she should continue to live. What was once her mother's coping mechanism turned into her own when she went through similar thoughts and feelings. 

It was heartbreaking and empowering. I loved seeing the play in the Abbey Theatre and will tell everyone about the story of Every Brilliant Thing. Maybe even see the play back home.

June 14th

Today we had a class discussion that focused on art through music. We talked about how art and music have influenced our culture in ways we don't often see or hear. I listen to a lot of music that has some sort of message in it. Either subtle or the message is very clearly written and expressed. I like to listen to songs that tell the story of someone in love or someone who experienced a hard time or lost a battle. I think that there are a lot more songs describing the depth of emotions through happiness, feelings of sadness and fits of anger. This affects our culture because it influences the conversations we have. The more vulnerable people we have influence our converstaions, the more likely we will be vulnerable in our private lives.

My teacher keeps telling us all about how Irish people tell stories and how that is how they communicate. I have been seeing that more and more the longer I stay here. They tell stories of their culture and share it with others. The words then live on. I especially experienced this through the Pub Crawl (pictures 2, 4, & 11). 

Later we went to a few national museums and observed Irish art (pictures 12, 14, 15, 16, 18, & 19). There were so many gorgeous paintings, sculptures, and photographs. You could visually imagine the scenery and story with every stroke. After we left the museums, we went to the National Library and took in the exhibits on Irish Literature and how it has grown over the years. 

We then went to O’Neils for food and to see if they had the long anticipated Baileys Cheesecake. This time we were successful. After we ate, we strolled down the streets and looked in windows before heading back. 

I packed for Scotland and our trip to Galway the next day. I can’t wait to go to Galway! I have heard so much about it, and it has been on my bucket list.

June 15th

I woke up and got ready to leave for the bus to take us to the train that would take us to Galway. We eventually got on the train, and I sat with my teacher and her family. We talked and I listened to music on the way there since the WIFI was not working. 

Once we got off the train, we went exploring all that Galway has to offer. We went to the best fish-and-chips place in Ireland, tried oysters, went to a small bakery, souvenir shopped, and even found a used bookstore. I got so many great souvenirs in Galway. 

I loved the atmosphere here. It felt so much like Barcelona. The city was alive and full of live music and friendly people. I wished we had more time to spend here. Eventually, we met with all the students in our group at the park and just talked. It was great to bond with everyone even more. 

The train back was pretty uneventful. The wifi was still out, so I read some books I had downloaded on my phone. On the way back, we made fun of one of the girls in our group’s book that she was reading. She was reading a chapter that was NSFW and all of us, including our teacher, teased her about it. Eventually, we got off the train and went back to UCD. 

I finished packing for Scotland since I had to wake up insanely early for my flight. Right before I went to bed, however, my classmate came over and gave me the book she had been reading. She said I could keep it and that it was an amazing read. I decided I would take it to Scotland with me and went to bed.

[neoyi]

I'm not what you'd call a, multi-player online kinda gal. I largely prefer the single player experience, playing my game peacefully in my dark, dank cave, where I'm free to leisurely invest however I want.

So my reaction to Crash Team Rumble was - and still kinda is - lukewarm, I suppose. I've heard long rumors of the supposed "Wumpa League" for months on end, so already used to the whispers of What Might Be, I was prepared for the inevitability of a Crash Online Battle Arena Game.

I mean, I'll buy it, because I'm Boo Boo the Fucking Fool and Crash Bandicoot is my favorite franchise. And like, I guess I'll see how I'll take to the game as more information come along and once I actually play it.

Some other thoughts under the "Keep Reading."

I'm very glad they're sticking with the Crash 4 art style. Nicholas Kale's work is gorgeous and him and the rest of Toys for Bob's artists did a great job modernizing the characters. Like honestly, I think this is the first time I can genuinely say Crash looks adorable (precious iterations were hit-or-miss, personally.)

Shout-out to the Catbat character. According to Nicholas' tweet, he considered them non-binary when designing them. I'm not sure if the final product will reflect that since Kale only designed the character (he stated he has no idea what the end result will be), but I hope this will be the canonical outcome. This series was long overdue for an officially confirmed, queer character.

Okay, if I'm being honest, I'm not sure how long this game will sustain enough of a dedicated player base to introduce new modes, characters, and other doo-dads common in online multiplayer games. CTR: Nitro-Fueled hung on for, what, a good two years of extra content? But I kind of figured they always had an endgame in mind by slowly introducing as many of the previous Crash Bandicoot characters they could alongside complimentary racetracks based on or inspired by the series. It didn't surprise me that the developers stopped while the going was good. A battle arena game could potentially go on for years and years and like, while the Crash fandom is super dedicated, I don't think there's near enough staying power to keep enough interest the way a lot of other heavy-hitting online games (Fortnite, Final Fantasy XIV, etc.) have been doing for far longer. But I'm jumping the gun. I barely know what content will be in the game and what could possibly be brought forth to keep it fresh and interesting to sustain it. I guess my biggest fear right now is, what if they don't offer enough diversity? Bah, still too early for this kind of talk. It's not like I want this game to fail!

I got no guff with Alt. Universe Tawna, but this also makes me miss Original Prime Tawna. The remake games slowly worked to give her a personality and a purpose besides "Crash's Kidnapped Girlfriend", and I want them to keep doing that. I don't like the idea that Alt. Tawna automatically replaces her because I feel it undermines what Prime Tawna is potentially capable of. Can't we have both girls?

Also hell YES, Lady Tropy is in the game. God, I love her.

Look, whatever I feel about Crash Team Rumble, it's probably already gonna be a million leagues better than Crash Bash. That game was a tedious, boring disappointment. The bar is low, people!

I don't expect a deep plot for this kinda game or at least, for Crash Bandicoot, but will they set up a basic premise on why they're collecting these fruits? Enough that allies are fighting amongst each other? Or is this all in good fun? Is it gonna be like Crash Bash where they have to beat each other up because Aku-Aku and Uka-Uka has another bullshit rule or something?

Spyro as an unlockable playable character is inevitable, but my GOD, I feel so sorry for the Spyro fanbase. When will they get their Spyro 4?

Jesus fuck, how the hell am I gonna abbreviate this game? We already had a CTR! I can't call Crash Team Rumble "CTR", too! "CTRu?" "MOBA Crash?" Just "Crash Rumble?" "Cramble??????"